#at first i was like 'die!' and then he actually died after some brief development/hint at something more and i was like wait. shit.

[datastate]

it’s very funny that my fav from yttd is kai because full honesty the moment sara confirmed he was the stalker i was ready to reach through the screen and slaughter him. i was disappointed we didn’t have any more bullets at the time, and now look at me here...! writing a kai lives au.

[genoc1d3r]

my turn to cry - thoughts on 3-1b

ok this has actually gotta be my favorite chapter cause holy shit so much stuff happened.

I played the Alice/kanna route and afterwards I watched a vod with the reko/shin route in which ranmaru and naomichi died before the banquet, so BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH ROUTES

Mafia Princess Sara??: Ok so first off, back in the beginning of 2020, I had a theory that Sara was a mafia heiress and that the death game was supposed to be something to “prepare” her. And that her memories were wiped or she was initially supposed to be kept blind to this whole thing (In 3-1a when everybody saw the consent form for the very first time everybody felt a sense of deja vu, except for Sara. Because why would they need her consent when she is the sole focus of the game and it’s all for her) This theory was mainly supplied by my confusion surrounding the hiring of Kai, cause why would mr Chidouin hire a former assassin to protect her?? How did he even know Kai??? But yeah, the whole thing with Shinobu Gokujo and deciding a new don through a death game just adds a lil more validity to this theory.

Sara’s real father: I also had a mini theory that Gashu Satou was her real father, but that was mostly cause of their hair color and how it would def make Sara’s hair color make more sense genetics-wise (but kai has black hair, so its most likely that his mother had black hair, which would also disprove this mini-theory but yk im not here to prove it just talk about it). And that Gashu knew of Mr. Chidouin and gave Sara to him, and it would also explain why mr Chidouin chose Kai of all people to look after her and why Kai could only watch her from a distance, in case she realized the truth that he was her brother/half-brother or something. 

GREENBLINGS CANON AAAAAAAA: I love this, I love this so much oh my god. Now I can replay and cry after 2-2 cause nankidai hates us :’). I dont have an issue with this specifically, I’m just a bit bothered by how the whole thing went. There was some buildup yea, and the cg with kanna, kugie, and shin was amazing. And that lil bit about nice hallucinations made me tear up a bit. But, then everybody kinda just moved on? and idk this whole chapter was a fuckign roller coaster I could barely keep up.

Autistic Gin <3: I’m autistic myself and I have seen many characters who are autistic-coded or exhibit many signs of autism but have never been straight up confirmed (Ex: Vera Misham from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney). And even then, these characters usually share similar personality traits like being aloof and reserved. So it’s nice to see that Gin is representing autism in a relatively realistic manner with his hyperfixations, vocal tics, and issues with socializing. Even after nearly dying like 17 times he’s still doing well and I genuinely wish for his survival and happiness.

Ranmaru’s death: Both of Ranmaru’s deaths, (if you or if you don’t fail the electricity absorption minigame) the death feels so... off? I was really attached to him as a character, yet his death didn’t impact as much as Joe’s or Nao’s did. During his Banquet death, one second he had his really cute smiling sprite but then whoops oh no guys weird drill screw thing kills him (again). I still can barely comprehend it because it all just happened so fast. Like no cg or anything. I was honestly kinda disappointed. The “delayed” one does a better job at his death scene, but again, it was wayyy too quick and completely dismissed as everybody just moves on to defeat Maple 2.0. I at least would’ve appreciated a better transition than Midori just saying “well anyways–”

 Ranmaru’s extremely quick descent into madness in the shin route: I actually liked this idea of Ranmaru willing to go to such extremes for Sara. However, theres barely time for any of this to develop? Like again, everything just happens so fast??? I would've definitely liked if there were little hints around before the body discovery that ranmaru was gonna do something like this, just a little time for development would really be cool.

Mr. Policeman/Mr. Tazuna???: After I finished, I actually looked on the wiki to see if it said anything about his son that he mentioned and I found this: 

But yeah thats cool

The thing about Q-taro: I’m gonna say it now, I’ve liked Q-taro ever since the aftermath of 1-2, and Q-taro haters have added absolutely nothing to this fandom. Everybody saw him as a child-hater, I see him as a guy who’ll do anything to survive and succeed. I mean that wish is kinda what got him into the death game. And yeah he did try to leave that one time, but that’s what getting thrown into traumatic killing games does for you, most people don’t want to die, they want to live, no matter what it takes. We can’t all be the main character and choose to cooperate with everybody and be the “good” person in that situation. Even Sara has those extremely selfish moments and those intrusive thoughts of winning and leaving. 

This whole thing should also be applied to Ranmaru. Ranmaru has gone through so much shit in such a brief amount of time, to the point where he was considering to/actually kill people to escape with the one person he trusted in this hellhole. In that situation, Sara’s kinda at fault here, cause without Joe she’s lost her sense of morality which resulted in her becoming selfish and well... honestly kinda toxic. This emotional manipulation is really what set Ranmaru off, however it was 100% his decision to fucking kill somebody and murder’s bad. Still love him though.

But back to Qtaro, I really enjoyed the extra substance given to him in this chapter, it’s nice to see the development from being selfish to feeling deep remorse to protecting the dolls of the first trial victims, most notably Mai. As he completely forgives her for stabbing him. The chapter did a great job at fueling my already intense love for Q-taro (and it actually convinced my best friend who claims to hate Q-taro with every bone of her body to like him too!) I also love the father-son dynamic between him and Gin. I find this relationship to be really important cause Gin’s father is an abusive alcoholic and Q-taro’s an orphan who’s never had a proper role-model in his life. So it’s beautiful that despite not having anybody there for him when he was younger he can still be a good figure for another child.

Predictions/hopes for the next part: 

I just want to see whether Shin already knew about Kanna being his sister, and if he doesn’t I want a reveal. Right. Now.

A Ranmaru/Joe/Q-taro/Kai/ “Hinako” revival, p l e a se  they died so soon

More info about the people involved in the Hades Incident/Shinobu Gokujo

More info regarding Meister

Sara going on Maury

Who tf is “Hinako”????

I really hope that there isn't any specific good/bad ending. Like I want every ending to be equally bad and good yk? like equal consequences and good stuff.

Yo wtf happened to Sara’s mom?? Is she gonna come back and play a more important role in the story?? Are her parents gonna come back as floor masters???

I want things to actually change  depending on whether you picked Alice or reko, cause so far they’ve played extremely minor roles.

[feralphoenix]

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS: The Mechanics of the Infection

welcome back to feral’s essay tag where the hot takes don’t stop from keep being hot!

this particular meta has a Lot of citations from canon, and my plan is to have them as actual footnotes in the dreamwidth mirror when that goes up (as i always crosspost my meta there in case my layout text is too small for any folks accessing these from computer and not mobile).

CONTENT WARNING FOR TONIGHT’S PROGRAM: This essay contains discussion of body horror, cancer, and many of the darker aspects of Hallownest’s society.

ALSO, AS USUAL: I read Hollow Knight as anti-colonialist fiction and all of my meta approaches the text from that angle. This essay is strongly critical of the Pale King and Hallownest, and affords sympathy to pre-Hallownest societies & native characters, including Radiance. If you come from a Christian cultural background (regardless of whether you currently practice the religion or not), some of the concepts I am going to discuss may be challenging for you. Please be responsible in your choice whether to engage with this content, and also, be respectful here or wherever else you’re discussing this essay. Thanks.

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS: The Mechanics of the Infection

If you’ve ever looked through my Hollow Knight tags, you have probably seen me joke about the Infection like a lot, usually along the lines of Radiance casting Level 9 Inflict Tang on Hallownest, or “(radi voice) the End of EVA will continue until you Let My People Go” or some such. In addition to being some of the most beautiful body horror I’ve yet seen in fiction, its appearance also makes it a veritable meme factory.

It is also something that inspires a lot of very wild theorizing amongst fans, because canon tells us WHY the Infection exists but doesn’t ever directly explain WHAT it is. To name just a few of the guesses I’ve seen, people have posited that it could be some sort of pupa juice, or maybe some type of parasitic fungus.

I have my own guess, though, and it’s based on hints we can find in-game. I would like to share it with the class today, so let’s take a quick look through the sauce, starting with what we already know!

WHY

We learn why the Infection happened from Seer and Moss Prophet, and this is also summed up more directly in Team Cherry’s dev notes attached to Seer.

The Pale King wanted to be the only god of light in the crater,* so he tried to kill Radiance by thralling her children - attracting the moths with his light and making them forget about her,** assimilating them into Hallownest. Radiance survived because some moths still remembered and tried to preserve what they could of their original culture,*** and eventually she attempted to reassert her existence and communicate with the bugs of the crater by speaking to them through their dreams. However, the Pale King realized what was happening and ordered his worshippers to shut her out.****

Radiance did not give up, and continued to broadcast her message through dreams. This unstoppable force VS immovable object conflict could not last forever - something eventually had to give, and what gave was the mortals.***** The Infection was an accident that Radiance did not initially intend, but presumably chose to weaponize after the fact as a way to attempt to pressure TPK into releasing the moths and leaving her alone (or, barring that, a way to thoroughly destroy his kingdom at the very least).

SOURCES:

* “No blazing kin. Only one light shall shine against the dark.” - Lore tablet hidden beside the Pale King’s throne in the White Palace.

** “None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters.” - Seer’s 1200 Essence dialogue.

*** “But the memories of that ancient light still lingered, hush whispers of faith... Until all of Hallownest began to dream of that forgotten light.” - Seer’s 2400 Essence dialogue.

**** “The King and the bugs of hallownest resisted this memory/power and it started to manifest as the infection.” - from Team Cherry’s dev notes attached to Seer.

***** “Light is life, beaming, pure, brilliant. To stifle that light is to suppress nature. Nature suppressed distorts, plagues us.” - Moss Prophet's dialogue.

HOW

Now that we’ve recapped why the Infection exists, let’s examine the process of how the Infection works. We see some examples of this with various characters in-game, and the Hunter also shares his observations of the Infection’s mechanics in his commentary on the Infected Crossroads entries.

Since we’ll be bringing up the Hunter's Journal here, I want to first examine three entries to establish its dual authorship and how trustworthy it is: The Shade’s entry, the Lightseed’s, and Radiance’s.

We know that the bottom section of the Hunter’s Journal is the Hunter’s personal notes on each creature because the game itself tells us so. So who writes the notes on top that give a brief explanation of what each creature is? It’s a common fan theory that Ghost writes these, which I believe is indeed the case.

First let’s look at the Shade, which is automatically unlocked when we receive the Hunter's Journal in-game regardless of whether we have died and fought the Shade or not. Mechanically this is important because if the Shade weren’t unlocked by default it would be impossible to attain the Hunter achievements without dying at least once - this would REALLY suck for anybody who likes to suffer enough to try to complete the journal in Steel Soul mode.

The Shade’s entry reads:

Echo of a previous life. Defeat it to retake its power and become whole.

-

Each of us leaves an imprint of something when we die. A stain on the world. I don’t know how much longer this kingdom can bear the weight of so many past lives...

Notice that the top text knows exactly what the Shade is and how it works. In story terms, this would imply that Ghost has died and come back enough pre-game to understand the mechanics of how their revivals work.

The Lightseed’s entry reads:

A single-celled organism, completely infected. Scurries about simple-mindedly.

-

Strange air has been seeping down from above for years. Some of the air became liquid, and some of that liquid became flesh, and some of that flesh came to life. I don’t know what to make of it.

In this entry, the top text assumes that Lightseeds are a Lifeseed-like creature that has been infected, and the Hunter’s notes reveal that this is incorrect and the Lightseeds were actually born from the Infection itself. From this we learn that the top text isn’t omniscient and can be mistaken: It’s written from a limited perspective.

And here’s Radi’s entry:

The light,* forgotten.

-

The plague, the infection, the madness that haunts the corpses of Hallownest... the light that screams out from the eyes of this dead Kingdom. What is the source? I suppose mere mortals like myself will never understand.

Here, the top text has information that the Hunter doesn’t, and which only a handful of bugs are privy to anymore.

From these three examples, I believe it is safe to say that Ghost is in fact the author of the journal entries’ top segments.

It’s important to remember that the observations these characters make can be not wholly correct, and I’ll bring that up when I believe it to be relevant, but for now let’s build a picture of how a case of the Infection generally progresses by looking at the Hunter’s commentary on Infected Crossroads enemies, and at a handful of characters whose Infection we directly observe: Bretta, Sly, Myla, and Moss Prophet.

The Hunter describes the broad arc of Infection progression in the Violent Husk's entry: “First [the bugs of Hallownest] fell into deep slumber, then they awoke with broken minds, and then their bodies started to deform...”

The two NPCs who we can save from becoming Infected, Bretta and Sly, are initially found emitting orange fog and mumbling to themselves. In Bretta’s case, when listened to, she initially talks about being left behind and forgotten** as she assumes that all people will treat her this way even though she craves affection and attention; Dream Nailed either before or after being listened to, she mentions a “shining figure”.***

Meanwhile, Sly speaks about his pupil Oro and someone named Esmy, and when his symptoms subside he identifies that he was led to the Crossroads village ruins by a dream.****

Listening to Bretta and Sly completely brings them back to reality, after which they leave the underground area entirely to return to Dirtmouth. However, when the player encounters Myla after defeating Soul Master and obtaining Descending Dive, listening to her does not cause any change in her condition despite that she is not yet hostile.

During these encounters, Bretta is surrounded by orange fog, Sly is surrounded by orange fog and his eyes have also begun to turn orange, and Myla's eyes are glowing but there is no fog around her. So, we can deduce that for as long as the orange fog is present, a bug may still be awoken and cured (Bretta and Sly both show no signs of relapse over the course of the game), but once the fog disappears the bug can no longer be saved by external means.

The "deformation" that the Hunter mentions in the Violent Husk entry refers to the large blobs of Infection that develop on the bodies of creatures that have been infected for a long period of time. We observe these upon the Infected Crossroads enemies, as well as on Hollow and the Moss Prophet. We also see that these Infection tumors can eventually kill bugs once they grow too large and impede bodily functions, just like real cancer: The Moss Prophet and Mossy Vagabonds are all discovered in this state after the Crossroads become infected, as are the Husk Guards in the Crossroads.

So, the progression we can see here is that bugs become infected through their dreams, and while they can initially be woken, if left alone they will fall into too deep a sleep to wake up. Some time after this they will start to move around again but will be hostile to any creatures that are not infected. And, if left in this state for a very long period of time, they will develop tumorous growths which are potentially fatal.

Potentially fatal. This is an interesting contradiction to a basic assumption that most players - and even Ghost and the Hunter - seem to hold about the Infection: That is, that the Infection functions like a pop-culture zombie plague, and infected creatures are all undead (reanimated dead things that can't be killed); thus that the enemies that respawn after resting or going offscreen are the same ones that Ghost just murdered, and have simply been reanimated by the Infection once again.

But infected creatures can die of the Infection. What’s more, bosses and unique instances of generic enemies (such as Myla and the Moss Knight at the pier of Unn’s lake) do not respawn once killed. And it’s definitely not that Ghost killed them that counts: Traitor Lord dies whether Ghost fights him solo or whether Cloth is brought along, in which case she always gets the final blow. This creates the argument that the respawning generics are NOT in fact the same individuals reanimated over and over, but different individuals of the same enemy class, and that their different respawn rates speak to how plentiful those creatures are - small animals respawning faster because a new one will arrive in the recently killed one’s territory sooner, for instance.

Ghost and the Hunter both seem to assume that infected enemies are all undead - many creatures are identified as “husks” or “the remains of [whatever specific bug]” in the Hunter's Journal. But we’ve already established that sometimes Ghost and the Hunter are wrong.

So, if infected creatures aren’t undead, then what are they?

SOURCES:

* I find it a very interesting tidbit of characterization for Ghost that they refer to Radiance as the Light, as native bugs do, rather than calling her the Old Light, as Hallownest bugs did. This has some fascinating implications for where Ghost feels their allegiances to be, but that's neither here nor there right now lol.

** “Ohhh... please... don’t leave me behind! You... forgot about me...? I knew you would... everyone always forgets about me...” - Bretta’s dialogue, Fungal Wastes encounter

*** “...Shining figure...So bright...” - Bretta’s Dream Nail dialogue, Fungal Wastes encounter

**** “...ugghh, Oro you oaf.... You wield your nail... like a club... ...Esmy... how much deeper do we have to go... Oh! What?! Who are you?! ...I see. This old village. What a strange dream, to have led me down here! If you hadn’t found me, I don’t think I would’ve ever woken.” - Sly’s dialogue, Crossroads village encounter

WHAT

In a move very on-brand for Hollow Knight, there’s actually a line from Seer that gives the whole game away - and I mean this incredibly literally, she declares her loyalty to Radiance and says Fuck Hallownest and also hints at what she hopes for from Ghost all in two breaths!! - except that most players are never going to see this line because Seer only says this if you screw up platforming in the Forgotten Dream and yeet yourself off a platform before picking up the Dream Nail.

I do not doubt that I could wring a whole essay out of this one line by itself (and Seer deserves an essay from me so maybe I will), but today the part we’re concerned with is the third line of this dialogue, i.e. how she describes the Dream Nail to Ghost: “The power to wake this world from its slumber[.]”

Its slumber.

The Infection doesn’t only spread through dreams. It is a dream.

To put it in a more meta/video game mechanics sort of way, the Infection is a status ailment. Sleep exists as a common status ailment in RPGs, strategy games, and even some adventure games and platformers. Usually the status ailment of sleep is a mild nuisance that wears off after time, when a character is struck, or if the requisite curative is used; in comparison the Infection is Sleep But Bass Boosted. Appropriate, for a glorified status ailment that’s inflicted by the literal actual god of dreams.

The Infection can only be cured in the very early stages. Once an infected creature has fallen into a coma, there’s no longer any hope of a third party breaking the curse... and also, infected creatures sleepwalk. Violently.

This may also provide an explanation for why mummified bugs in the catacombs have been infected, too: If they were freshly dead and their lingering spirit was still attached enough to their corpses, and that lingering spirit retained enough of a mind to dream...

Aside from those mummified bugs, though, I believe it likely that most if not all of the infected enemies in-game are very, very much alive.

Beyond all the dialogue and lore crumbs pointing to the Infection simply being a cursed sleep, this explanation makes the most sense when thinking about Radiance as a character. She is the literal embodiment of dreams as well as the sun, so inflicting eternal slumber with bonus malignant sleepwalking is a natural extension of her power and a way to use it offensively without being directly violent.

(I've written about this at length elsewhere, but signs point to Radiance having been a pacifist prior to the Pale King’s invasion. Short version: The Moth Tribe were pacifists and Radiance was the center of their culture so it would be odd if she were an exception; she is incapable of inflicting any physical harm whatsoever in a game where lack of contact damage from an active enemy indicates helplessness and such enemies always flee from Ghost unless they have a tool they can use to fight with; her behavior in her boss battles indicates a lack of combat experience, and her nail-generating spells seem to be based on Hollow’s abilities. Real-life adult moths cannot fight - they defend themselves with flight, camouflage, mimicry, and I’m Poisonous So Fuck Off coloring.)

Now, I don’t want to downplay the harm the Infection causes - it doesn’t have to turn bugs into literal undead zombies to be devastating. What we can glean of Hallownest’s ruins suggests that as a state it was heavily dependent on labor to run its industry, so incapacitating the laborers would have turned the whole country on its head, especially because those laborers cannot be woken. The Infection also created an intense atmosphere of terror throughout Hallownest as bugs tried to discover ways to cure it or at least protect themselves. And as the Hunter observes,* because of how the Infection is caused, the harder you try to block Radiance out, the worse the Infection will get.

(A sidebar: Interestingly, the Infection's progress seems to be very slow when a creature willingly accepts it; Moss Prophet has Infection tumors when met but doesn’t die of them until the Crossroads is infected, though many Crossroads bugs are found dead of tumors immediately. Traitor Lord and his followers opted in to the Infection long ago, but Traitor Lord is still at the “orange fog” stage and could theoretically be cured, if he wanted to be. Both Traitor Lord and Moss Prophet are still completely lucid, too.)

Radiance may not have committed any direct violence against Hallownest, but the Infection does incite violence: infected creatures become hostile to and will attack the uninfected. And as we’ve discussed, the Infection itself can become fatal once it’s progressed far enough for tumorous growths to form.

A god smiting the shit out of her people’s oppressors by nonviolently but thoroughly disrupting their kingdom, Especially if that kingdom is a genocidal colonialist slave state,** as a Let My People Go And Leave Me Alone :) ultimatum is not unreasonable. (And Moss Prophet tells us point-blank that literally just listening to Radiance in the first place would have prevented the Infection before it began!) But despite that Hallownest as an institution is unambiguously awful, Hallownest bugs victimized by their own state (such as the maggot slaves and other menial workers) probably saw much less benefit from Hallownest’s genocides than the rich and nobility, and likely deserved the smiting way less than said rich and nobility.

Meanwhile Hallownest’s neighbors - all native nations who are just as much victims of TPK’s bullshit as the Moth Tribe - did not deserve to get caught up in the smiting at all.

Lateral harm in Hollow Knight is another topic that deserves its own essay - and more than that, lots of in-depth conversation! - but, again, that’s not the topic we want to focus on today. I do want to make it clear, though, that infected creatures being alive and theoretically wakeable if the curse should end doesn’t suddenly mean the Infection was actually no big deal. If you want your jimmies rustled, try Dream Nailing enemies that pull from the generic Dream Nail dialogue pool: They are on some level aware that they’re dreaming and can’t wake.***

Clues that the Infection is literally a dream are littered all over the game, from Elderbug’s initial dialogue**** to the name of ending 3, Dream No More - not only named that because that’s the ending where Ghost sacrifices Radiance’s life as well as their own to end Hollow’s suffering rather than only sacrificing their freedom.

Some of what Bardoon and Moss Prophet have to say about the Infection is suggestive of the nature of this dream, though. Moss Prophet appeals to their audience to find unity through the Infection,***** and Bardoon also remarks on this, though he cautions that this comes at the cost of being reduced to instinct.****** Dreaming does tend to come hand in hand with lack of inhibition and suggestibility, but I’m more interested in what Moss Prophet and Bardoon mean by unity, since infected creatures’ thoughts are different depending on what they are and what they were already doing while awake.

There's less specific hard evidence for this aside from how we can observe that Infection blobs are connected to Radiance, transmitting her heartbeat and birthing the Lightseeds, her unintended creations. But given that those blobs do originate from Infection fluid according to the Hunter... Radiance is not just the embodiment of dreams but the heart of THE Dream. So could the Infection be a forcible pseudo-immersion into that capital-D Dream, the Dream Realm itself?

Whether my hunch here is right or not, I can’t in good faith end this essay without bringing all y’all’s attention to absolutely my favorite bit of The Infection Is A Dream foreshadowing: The way multiple parties mention the fact that the Infection smells and tastes sweet.*******

You know... it’s sweet... it’s a sweet dream... get it.........

And now that you can no longer unsee that brilliantly awful pun, I think I'll see myself out!

SOURCES:

* “The infection that swept through Hallownest so long ago... they say that the harder you struggled against it, the more it consumed you.” - Hunter’s commentary, Slobbering Husk Hunter’s Journal entry.

** I’m referring, of course, to the maggots. See: “Weakest members of the kingdom of Hallownest. Generally looked down upon and forced to do menial labour.” (Ghost’s commentary) and “If they try to bargain for their life, just ignore them. They have nothing to offer.” (Hunter’s commentary) from the Maggot Hunter's Journal entry as well as False Knight/Failed Champion’s backstory. Remember also that maggots are the larval form of flies like Sly (you’ll see the resemblance if you compare Sly’s features to the maggot siblings’), meaning Hallownest employs child slavery. In more cheerful news Sly’s backstory must be absolutely goddamn wild.

*** “I’m not...Dead..” “Am I...Sleeping?” “I can’t....Wake up...” - Dream Nail dialogue from generic Hallownest bugs (Wandering Husk, Leaping Husk, Horned Husk, Husk Bully, Husk Warrior) and from God Tamer for some reason

**** “Perhaps dreams aren't such great things after all...” - Elderbug’s initial dialogue

***** “Embrace light! Achieve union!” - Moss Prophet’s dialogue

****** “Theirs is a different kind of unity. Rejection of the Wyrm’s attempt at order. I resist the light’s allure. Union it may offer, but also a mind bereft of thought... To instinct alone a bug is reduced...Hrrm...” - Bardoon’s dialogue (Listen four times, not counting other dialogue flags)

******* “A thick orange mist fills these walking corpses. It has a sweet, sickly taste to it. I find it foul. After you kill these creatures, I suggest you do not eat them.” - Hunter’s commentary, Husk Bully Hunter’s Journal entry, just for one example.

[powerbottomblake]

the P in Penny stands for (V8′s) Protagonist

So Monstra! Interesting name! Reminiscent of Monstro, the name of the whale from Disney’s Pinocchio (1940).

This confirms that the whale is indeed, here to complete Penny’s Pinocchio allusion. In other terms, Penny is the protagonist of this volume. The main conflict is her conflict; taking down the whale is her endgame and her turning point.

More undercut because apparently I am cursed with not knowing how to make brief and to the point meta

We know that RWBY uses the narrative beats of the original allusions (with some decisive tweaks that align with its overall hopepunk vision and themes), going as far as having direct visual parallels to the source material (Adam vs Bees fight/the original Beast vs Gaston fight anyone?). 

In the original Pinocchio movie, Pinocchio is tested three times before finally achieving becoming a little boy, and I think, likewise, Penny faces three tests before becoming a fully flledged huntress and maiden:

- Setback n°1: Pinocchio, still new to the world, the very concept of morality but eager to “do good” and willing to listen to Jiminy Cricket’s guidance, is tricked by a duo of conmen; in the movie, it’s into captivity, but the original story takes a much darker turn where the evil cat and fox - one pretending to be blind (Emerald and her perception bending Semblance) and one pretending to be a cripple (Mercury) - actually cause Pinocchio’s “death” through hanging (the author abhorred naughty children and was very...extreme about it). This is V3 Penny in a nutshell, discovering friendship and bonds and values through her own Jiminy, which is Ruby, but being set up by Mercury and Emerald to fight a losing battle that ends in her apparent “death”.

- Setback n°2: Pinocchio is embarked on a trip to Pleasure Island, an apparent playground especially catered for everyone to be happy! and have fun! but oh wait they’re actually being turned into jackasses geared for labor or sold to the Dust I mean the salt mines! You’ve guessed it, this is Penny’s V7 arc. Atlas Academy is Penny’s Pleasure Island, masquerading as a safe place where  but the veneer of Ironwood’s civility and apparent conflicted utilitarianism finally cracks to reveal how it’s ultimately a place of indoctrination, producing no actual people-serving Hunters but perfect soldiers concerned more with following orders than doing right, and where the disadvantaged and the poor are ostracized, taken advantage of and ultimately sacrificed. Pinocchio escapes Pleasure Island with Jiminy’s help, but not unscathed, having grown donkey ears and a tail. Likewise, with Ruby’s help and constant strong supportive presence, Penny proves herself fit to receive the maiden powers and escapes Atlas, but she’s still not completely free of Ironwood’s hold, still having to grapple with his and the AceOps’ manipulation tactics, still not sure what her role, who she is and how she fits really are. Which bring us to the third and last test:

- Setback n°3: the Whale. In the original movie, Gepetto gets swallowed by the whale when he tries to follow Pinocchio to Pleasure Island to save him. Pinocchio then dives in, saves Gepetto and, in the process, apparently “dies”, before finally earning his existence as a “real” little boy after that show of bravery and self-sacrifice. And I think these are the beats to look for in Penny’s V8 storyline. As of Episode 3, Penny is about to join Pietro and Maria, and there have been strong hints (and by that I mean we were basically hammered over the head) that she’s about to be “hacked” by Watts. How do the original narrative beats play out? Here’s how I think it fits:

Gepetto is swallowed by Monstro: After Penny is effectively “hacked” and by that I mean that while her soul and spirit remain unchanged, Watts hacks into the mainframe and forces her to surrender control over her body the same way we’ve seen her do (but willingly) for Pietro. Penny essentially ends up trapped inside her own body as it follows Watts’ commands. I suspect Watts will force her to take Pietro and Maria (who’s of interest to Salem by being one of the last remaining SEW, and I strongly suspect her soul/aura could be used to make more of whatever the Hound is, but this is a whole other matter to delve into in a separate post) to Salem.

Pinocchio dives in to save his father and takes down the whale: I think Pietro and/or Ruby will appeal to Penny/be in enough danger that she will snap out of Watts control on her own, effectively reclaiming her bodily autonomy on her own and then creating a mayhem big and terrible enough with her powers that will take down the whale and give everyone else enough time to escape. This will be Penny’s heroic moment and her stand. Right now, everyone is making the mistake of having people protect the maiden powers. Penny realizes what makes her a maiden is to use those powers to protect the people; it’s a decision she makes on her own that cements her as a true Maiden and a hero of the people.

Pinocchio “apparently dies” but is then granted his wish and becomes a “real” little boy: Here I think Penny takes down the whale but goes down with it. We don’t see her die again onscreen (I think it would be overkill to show her “corpse” a second time and would cheapen her dying at all. In general I am wary of the resurrection trope being overdone or coming without a cost because it severely undercuts the emotional payoff of a death), but I think by the end of V8 she’s MIA (which would make her the second person Ruby loses that way, but also the first to return to her so). I think Penny uses her powers to stall Monstra, and I’m willing to bet good money that whatever Penny does next has to do with the Gravity dust that keeps Monstra afloat. The thing with Gravity dust is that, it does push things off the ground, but it can also pull things towards it. I think whatever number Penny pulls on the gravitational field ends up pulling her down in that sillage as well.

I know the popular theory is that Penny “dies” again and Pietro sacrifices his life to resurrect her one last time, and I can see it happening, but here’s the thing: RWBY subverts popular tropes, exploring new (and more hopeful!) paths. Just look at Qrow: RWBY said, oh the mentor figure, scarred and haunted by his past? is not just another stepping stone whose death cements the hero on his journey, but becomes a character with a drive of their own, and an arc of their own, and who gets to pass the torch and live to see it burn well and bright and to the end. Gepetto lives and mourns the apparent death of his son but is there to welcome him home when, rewarded for courage and abnegation, Pinocchio earns the right to become a human boy. I think Pietro, too, will live, and get to welcome a Penny that has finally earned the right to call herself Mantle’s Protector, no longer Ironwood’s puppet (heh) nor an extension of her father but an actual established hero of the people, around whom Mantle can rally and who can work with the right people (Robyn and the Happy Huntresses) for the right reasons and outcomes, people and reasons she herself chooses and decisions she herself makes and a power she’s reclaimed and accepted and knows how to use. 

Penny’s quest has always been one of identity, slowly transforming from getting her bearings and realizing what makes her humanity is her soul, her ability to develop and deepen and protect her bonds to people and her natural empathy and kindness (V3′s ”am I worthy of calling myself human, too?”); to navigating morality, the nuances of doing good and the need to make her own calls and judgement of what is right and wrong (V7′s “who should I protect? what should I follow?”); to now, having established that she’s worthy of being one, Penny still has to find how to be a maiden, what that role entails for her and how she can finally fit as herself and into this new role, 100% reclaiming herself, her body (even from Pietro!!), her title and her mission. V8 (and maybe onwards) is the culmination of Penny’s identity journey, and I see it playing very much as an Iron Giant moment.

“You are who you choose to be,” says RWBY (and Ruby!) to Penny.

“Superman A human, and a hero, and a maiden” will be her answer.

And just like the Iron Giant, Penny saves the world, and rises again.

[facelessfrey]

Roswell New Mexico Season 2, Episode 13

- I’m sure that wasn’t supposed to be comedy but I literally laughed through most of that and I’m still laughing at the last scene. I can’t. I just...I can’t. I mean what the fuck even was half of that?!?!?

- I mean that episode was WILD. I don’t even know where to begin. This is going to get long...you are forewarned. 

- Let’s start with the EXTREMELY RAPID conclusion of last week’s mortal peril. Yep....let’s just do some CPR...not even have to break out the alien defibrillator powers and oh look Max is just fine. I mean...thank god cause I could not go through a repeat of last season although...considering the last scene...that might be preferable. (I’m still laughing...like full on cracking up and my roommates probably think I’m nuts). Then we’ve got Liz dumping the contents of some top secret recipe giant ketchup bottles on the alien console and oh...yep....melted. Glad that crisis was averted. Then we have some random shots of people going to the hospital and oh look...everyone’s alive and fine except...Jesse Manes. I mean...don’t get me wrong...he’s a monster and I’m not sorry he’s dead by my god what a pitiful end to a character that should have been a really good villain but instead was a guy who limped around in the background most of the season until suddenly in one episode it turns out he had been putting together a dastardly plan to show the aliens as the monsters they are and then murder them....sure. Why not?!?! Well...I guess it’s nice that that barely three episode arc of Gregory Manes wanting to stand up for Alex got some closure. I just...it’s so dumb!!!!

- Oh wait...I forgot...not shocking cause it was literally two seconds, but hey...Helena randomly went back and saved Charlie and proceeded to yell at her for getting chained up and not leaving while she freed her. Cool. 

- Right...so that’s all wrapped up in the opening five minutes...let’s just move on...we’ve got a lot of other insane junk we have to throw into the next 35 minutes. Yep...still laughing. 

- Let’s just kick things off with Michael and Maria...and now I’m laughing again. I did ask the show to prove me wrong earlier today and well...I mean....they half did?!?!?!! Except it was literally insane so I don’t even know what to say. So...Maria’s just fine cause you know she was only half alien so that’s cool and great and then oh wait...she just happens to have a magic plot box dropped off by Mimi. Thanks Mimi...you still have no real purpose in this story except to occasionally move the plot forward but thanks for the box. But Michael doesn’t trust Mimi’s plot hints so he doesn’t want to open the box. Instead....he goes to hang with Alex and they destroy the shed together, which admittedly was a very nice scene and totally gave me Stendan in Dublin vibes and I quite liked it. 

- But it was also all so they could find a literal skeleton under the floorboards. Gotta get those callbacks in eh? Hahaha. And of course it’s Tripp! Who else would it be? And of course...he’s got the magical key so it turns out Mimi really is tuned into the plot and read ahead in the script and knew that box would be important! So back to Maria he goes after having this super cathartic scene with Alex that tied into their emotional past together. I mean...par for the course...and I was fully ready for the whiplash that was going to make me crazy and you know...I was not disappointed because they started out being all “hey I love you” and I was like “eye roll knew that was coming” but then! She just up and breaks up with him because that’s what you do after a mutual I love you that’s based on zero relationship development over the past twelve and a half episodes. And once again...I am laughing. 

- I mean...I’ll say this...I’m glad it was her that broke up with him and in part because she totally knows he’s in love with Alex and we have been saying that literally all season so like I’m glad she noticed. But I literally died when she was all “I’ve learned so much from this relationship”. What?! What did you learn? Did you get motivation in your script direction that we weren’t privy to because I still have literally no idea what either of you were supposed to be getting out of that relationship but hey...who cares cause it’s over now and Maria just decided that so it’s all fine. No heartbreak there. And you know...Michael seems totally cool with it. Barely even put up a fight. Hahahahaha. Again...I can’t. 

- So then we go back to Alex and Michael and Isobel who is all of a sudden team Malex this episode when previously she was inventing emojis for Michael’s Maria hearteyes so yeah...all of this is just really confusing. But hey! The box has Tripp’s journal in it and descriptions that make Michael squirm but also....Tripp and Nora’s love was...wait for....COSMIC! Hahaha. Oh this show. It’s drunk on it’s own absurdity. So anyway...we’re filled in on the rest of Tripp and Nora’s story...well...sort of. We know she tried ice cream and liked it and there was talk of the mystery bad man that wasn’t Noah but uh...more on that later. Haha. Well...I guess we know Harlan killed Tripp and we unfortunately saw Nora die so that’s a wrap on the 1947 flashbacks I guess?!?! Sure. 

- Oh god and the song...since we’re on Malex anyway. I mean...I liked the song and yeah....he got all the references in there. I never look away...cosmic...sure. And I knew once Forrest was there that kiss was going to happen but my god...are we really setting up season three where now Alex is the one in a random relationship and Michael is trying to be happy for him and we repeat season two’s nonsense?! Are we going to have another threesome just for funzies because you know...that was still LITERALLY the dumbest and most pointless plot point of the season. But anyway, I’m happy Alex felt comfortable enough to sing a song about a guy and kiss a guy in front of a crowded bar but there was literally NO REASON it could not have been Michael. He and Forrest literally had like four scenes together this season compared to Malex who had this whole emotional arc but no...gotta make it complicated. 

- Props to them for managing to have one last break up without actually even having a conversation this time. TALENT. LEGENDS ONLY. 

- I guess at least now that there’s just a minor character in the way and they probably can’t actually kiss again due to coronavirus restrictions, there’s probably some hope for Malex next season?!?! Maybe they’ll find a vaccine by the time there’s a Malex reunion. Maybe good things come to those who suffer. Hahaha.

- Right...let’s move on to Max and Liz. So uhh...Max spends the whole episode seeming like he was hopped up on drugs again or desperate for a fix. What is in that antidote?! Once again we gloss over the “darkness” in Max because like who needs real follow up to the first five episodes of the season. Not this show!

- The whole “Max destroys Liz’s lab” plot was nuts. Just the sheer speed of it from Diego magically appearing at the diner with the Generyx woman to Jenna’s super spy disguise to Max just blowing up the lab as Diego and co drive up and then they just exit stage left super fast except for the fact that Liz is still seemingly going to California but like...why? Did Generyx woman still agree to give her a grant based on her exploding lab?! Did she just feel bad that she didn’t have a lab anymore?! 

- Sidebar to Steph...fucking Steph...whose apparent entire purpose this season was to be sick enough to inspire Liz to do science and break up her and Max over it and then survive after Liz randomly finds time to give her some kind of half baked medicine from her lab BEFORE it exploded??!?! Or does she just carry that shit around with her? And for the love of god SOMEBODY SAVE KYLE from this EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING story!!!!!! Please don’t subject him to more of this next season. Let them break up during the pandemic and give Kyle a clean slate and allow him to reenter the narrative in a way that allows him actual screen time and scenes with the group. Sigh...at least he got to hug Liz and have a brief scene with Alex where Alex told him he was proof of redemption. Look at that character arc that was literally told in two scenes this season! Yeah...see they can be concise when they want to!

- Anyway...back to Max. OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT FINAL SCENE?!?!?!??! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA?!!? I don’t even know what I was expecting but it WAS NOT THAT! What even?!?! WHY AM I BEING SUBJECTED TO TWO MAXES?!?! ONE WAS ENOUGH...sometimes MORE THAN ENOUGH. This is just really mean and so was forcing me to look at that HIDEOUS beard! I just....I really can’t handle it. HAHAHA! What drugs were they on when they wrote this?! Also...NONE OF THIS ANSWERS ANY QUESTION AT ALL!!!!!!!!!

- Let’s see...what else...

- I’m glad Jenna and Charlie FINALLY had a scene together because when Jenna first said that Charlie had disappeared again, I got so mad because it was just inexplicably dumb. So I’m glad they got to see each other. 

- I’m glad Rosa is going back to rehab and that she both got to tell her mother that she loved her and tell her to stay the fuck away. 

- I’m just laughing at the fact that for like one episode Helena was suddenly the big bad or at least a main antagonist or at least some kind of main player for the season and then just as quickly was COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT and is probably just going to leave now?!??! WHY?!?!?!? 

- Can Isobel please get something legit to do next season that doesn’t just involve her going into people’s heads without asking and maybe involves her getting a love interest of her own? Please?! I mean...I’m glad she got learn about her mother this season but also I feel like she didn’t do much and I think she deserves more than that. 

- I guess I’m glad Maria is embracing her alien side and trying to be true to herself or whatever but also....she was literally just in this episode to “not be dead”, to give Michael a plot box and to break up with him so she’s no longer a shipping obstacle. And then we never saw her again the rest of the episode. I really sincerely hope they do more with her next season in a way that actually serves her as a character because this season did not do her many favors. I’m glad she finally knows about the aliens and they delved into her own alien identity but I hope she really gets to do something with that next season and not just exist to save everyone else at the end with no thanks for it. I mean literally no one was on screen visiting her except Michael just so she could give him a box and break up with him. Liz and Max were literally at the hospital. But no...Liz had to see irrelevant Steph so she could save her for some unknown reason. Sigh....Not even her cool aunt Isobel came to see her. 

- I don’t even know what else to say. I’m still laughing. I still feel like I know LITERALLY NOTHING about what was going on this season. I had hopes for this season at the end of season one but honestly I have zero hopes for season three because I’m sure it will be a clusterfuck but an even weirder clusterfuck than normal cause everyone will be standing eight feet apart. Maybe that will make them tell a tighter story and not try and shove 75 different plots into 13 episodes??? Probably not. I’m sure it’ll still be batshit crazy and make no sense at all. I’m gonna treat the show as a comedy from now on. 

- Well...it’s been fun all. Thanks to anyone who made it through this whole nonsense post. You deserve a prize. Maybe a plot box or a skeleton under a floorboard or a journal telling you your relatives’ love was cosmic too. 

[wholesomeklei]

Japan Sinks: 2020 freaking sucked, but in a way that was almost good, which is arguably even more frustrating than it being straight-up awful.  Like, there was this good show struggling to get out, but it just couldn’t quite break free of all the crap.  Sorry, has to get that off my chest.  I’m done now.

...Never mind, I’m not done.  Spoilers below the cut.

Here’s a list of my major grievances with the series (there are more, but this got kind of long):

There was almost no chemistry between the characters.  A lot of the story centers around this family and a handful of tagalongs, but you hardly get the sense that they care about each other at all.  Emotional crises about character death (of which there is a LOT; more on that later) go barely-addressed, if they indeed happen at all.  One of the earliest deaths involves the father getting literally blown to bits in front of his family, and then they skip ahead to them moving on in the next episode.  The only one who still seems even remotely upset is the teenage girl.  Not even the little boy seems bothered; I don’t think I can remember him crying a single time in the entire series.  I get what they were TRYING to go for - the mother is upset, but she’s trying to stay strong for her children because she knows that stopping to mourn could get them killed - but instead it just comes across as all of the characters being robots except for the teenager.  I think one of the problems was that there’s not much depth of emotion in the facial expressions.  Almost nothing is expressed through animation that isn’t expressed in words, so if the characters aren’t talking about how sad they are, you have no idea.  Another character dies pretty unceremoniously in a way that’s clearly intended to make the teenager feel guilty despite her not technically being responsible, but they just leave her body behind, and she’s practically never brought up again.  Speaking of...

There aren’t any long-term consequences for any of the things they build up.  Early on, the teenage girl offers to share some of her water with an elderly couple, who proceed to take the whole bottle.  It was a really good, realistic scene, and it leaves you thinking, “Shit, that’s gonna come back to bite them in the ass later!” and it never does.  They find more water almost immediately.  Additionally, throughout the series, there’s also this looming threat posed by a cut on the teenage girl’s leg that’s clearly becoming more and more infected over time - the camera is constantly lingering on this injury like it’s gonna be a big deal - and it doesn’t become a real issue until after they’re rescued.  And even then, you think you’re in for some real emotional drama when the doctor says they have to amputate - the teenager is a relay racer, so losing her leg is a big fucking deal - but the next time you see her, we’ve already skipped ahead to the part where she’s running relay races with a prosthetic.  Like, that’s great and all, but come ON!  You spent the WHOLE SERIES building to this, and you can’t spare a couple minutes to let us feel anything?

We get almost zero insight into the backgrounds of most of the characters.  Like, we already know most of the family’s deal from their introductions in episode 1, but then they give us all these tagalongs who seem like they COULD be interesting people (an older girl who seems to be a friend of the family, a stoic former athlete, a paragliding Youtuber, an old man who does archery, and an obnoxious magician), but they almost never expand on any of it!  The older girl?  She dies unceremoniously and is mentioned maybe one time after that a few episodes later.  The stoic former athlete?  He finally breaks down in tears at one point about how he watched his mother die in front of him only for the rest of these seemingly heartless assholes to continue on with their dinnertime conversation without giving this dude so much as a comforting pat on the shoulder.  The Youtuber?  It’s briefly hinted at the end that he’s a trans guy in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment of his younger self in a skirt (from a distance, so it’s hard to notice) with longer hair, but other than that, we have almost no insight into who he is as a person, what got him interested in flying and Youtube, etc.  Speaking of which...

The Youtuber is basically a living deus ex machina who exists only to occasionally disappear and inexplicably reappear with no explanation and some supplies to save the day.  His habit of constantly saving the day combined with the fact that in a cast of characters with realistic hair colors, he’s the only one whose hair is white (and it seems to be natural, not dye; his younger self also has white hair, and at no point in the series do his roots start to show) makes him feel more like somebody’s self-insert OC than a real person.  He even pulls a heroic sacrifice to save the characters at the end only to mysteriously wind up alive in the stadium to watch the teenage girl do relay post-amputation with zero explanation.  Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad the trans guy survived to the end, but could you please tell us HOW?

The time that could have been spent on character development is instead spent on a pointless cult subplot that lasts way too many episodes, accomplishes almost nothing except letting us trade in the racist archery grandpa and the annoying magician for the paralyzed savant who saw the disaster coming (again, these brief character descriptions make them sound much more interesting than they ultimately wind up being).  In yet another plot point with lots of build-up and no follow-through, we wind up in a peaceful, too-good-to-be-true cult where they put weed in everything and worship a lady claiming to be able to speak with the dead.  Are they using the drugs to manipulate people?  Is this some kind of cannibal cult where they use pot to cover up the taste of people?  Nope!  The twist is that the cult was genuinely a nice place, the leader’s powers are 100% real, and the drug stuff is completely inconsequential.  The final episode of this arc winds up being unintentionally hilarious as a bunch of characters get killed off in ways that are either overly anime for what was previously a relatively grounded show, or die in a realistic manner that’s nonetheless animated in a way that makes it completely hilarious.  I literally laughed out at the death of the cult leader’s child.  Like, I understood it was SUPPOSED to be sad, but it’s just so sudden that it winds up being hilarious.  One minute he’s standing there, and the next, BONK!  Death by ceiling chunk to the head.  (This is why most deaths by crushing/impact from above tend to be animated in a way that obscures the character’s face, BTW.)

There are too many character deaths.  There’s a big difference between “anyone CAN die” and “almost everyone WILL die.”  The first creates genuine tension, because you truly never know whether or not a character will survive a dangerous situation.  Allowing you to feel hope that a character could pull through makes it all the more impactful if they don’t.  Unfortunately, Japan Sinks: 2020 goes too far by practically killing off one character an episode, which winds up ruining the tension by ensuring that you never get attached to these characters (which you were already struggling to get attached to due to their complete lack of emotion).  Dangerous situations are no longer tense because you already know from the time the character enters them that they’re probably gonna die.  (Unless they’re the Youtuber guy, in which case a nuclear bomb could go off, and they’d just reappear two episodes later with no explanation.)

The show just doesn’t know what it wants to be.  It starts out really grounded and realistic, and it leads you to believe that this is going to be something truly incredible, but after about four episodes, you start to realize that this is just The Walking Dead without zombies.  Worst of all, it’s Telltale’s Walking Dead (the sequels, not the first one) where almost none of the choices the characters make actually matter.  They try really hard to salvage it at the end, and it NEARLY works.  Episode 8 (where they’re stuck in a life raft without any food or water for the first half) was almost worth the previous 7, but it’s just not enough.  You still know exactly when characters are gonna die, and it’s too late to get invested.

[megasaurusssss]

Dr Pershing | Chapter 2

Words: 4718

Summary: Din Djarin finds him in the sewers. Starving. Beaten. On the brink of death.  Pershing is just trying to figure out why the Mandalorian bothered with him at all.

♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬

He was...

Well. Din didn't know how to describe him.

Jumpy, anxious, weak. But intelligent, and witty. When he was thinking he furrowed at his lower lip. When he was confused his eyebrows drew in. When he was afraid his eyes would widen and his lip would quiver. When he saw the child it's like all of his worries visibly melted away.

When he slept, he was peaceful, but awake, he was anything but.

Restless. Radiating with energy. Needing to do something at all times because if he didn't, he would collapse into his own thoughts.

Din had met many people like him. And yet, he was still incredibly unique. There was something there, something was developing between them. But he had no idea what it was. How long have they known each other? Barely a few days. Sure they met about a month ago before everything went to shit but it was in brief passing and, at the time, the doctor hadn't really caught his eye.

The child cooed in his lap, and he sighed. "I know. I just wanted to get out. Staying in that place makes me sick."

He'd developed a habit of talking to the child, even though he wasn't even sure he was being understood. The child would only coo in response, but he supposed that was good enough.

He cooed again, though, and this time it had a different tone, as if to say, 'I want to go back.'

"We will go back. I promise. There's something I want to do first."

The doctor - Pershing, wasn't it? - had this certain aura about him. He never spoke his mind, but there always seemed to be something racing in that head of his. Din tried to read him, figure out what he was really thinking, but he couldn't.

The doctor was kind, and sorrowful, and depressed. He worried about everything. But he was quick-witted and could hold a conversation for as long as he wanted. When he spoke, Din found it impossible to look away. His hands flapped wildly like he was passionate about every word and, he probably was.

He'd never forget how Pershing's expression fell, or how the heart rate on the monitor picked up speed when Din talked about the pain the Empire had caused. And how the words on the tip of his seemed to tongue leave him, and all he could say was that he was sorry. He was sorry. He was so so sorry.

Pershing would apologise relentlessly for working for the Imps, but Din would still tell him it was okay - but he didn't know why, and that frustrated him.

Of course it wasn't okay. None of it was okay. Pershing was imperial, he would always be imperial. So why was Din even bothering? Because of pity? Sympathy?

He found him in the sewers, starving. Beaten. Bloody. On the brink of death. He should've just left him, so why didn't he? Why did he take one look and decide to help? Why did he ignore Cara when she told him to leave the doctor alone? Why couldn't he just listen to other people for once?

There was something about him. Something about this doctor that he couldn't put into words.

He was good with the child, and the child liked him, too. Even though he had every reason not to. Surely if something was wrong, the child would feel it?

Pershing recoiled when Din got too close. He would flinch away, something would flash in his eyes, like he was afraid of being touched. Every time Din caught a glimpse of it his blood would boil. No one deserves that.

But he had no reason to care about that. He never worried about his bounties, never felt sympathy for their sob story, so why should he care about some imp?

I don't know.

Maybe it was because the child cried when he saw the broken body slumped against the wall. That could be his excuse.

The hyperspace came to an abrupt halt. Silversisi faded into view as the Razor Crest grew closer. The child looked up at him apprehensively.

"I know. We won't be here for long. I just want to pick up some things."

The Razor Crest landed not-so-gracefully on Silversisi's surface, just outside the library. He really needed to get the ship fixed. Properly.

"You coming too?" He cast a glance at the child. He took the blank stare as an affirmative. "Okay then."

He picked up the child in his arms, so he wouldn't have to walk, and waited for him to get comfortable before setting off.

He'd been at the Library of Silversisi once before, but it was for a bounty, so he didn't have time to actually stop and read. Especially considering how pissy the security was getting with the scene being caused.

He reached the front door, pushing it open with one hand. It was heavy and large, but he managed to squeeze through. The door slammed behind him, causing an echo throughout the halls of the library.

"Oi!"

Ah.

"I hope you're not here to cause more of a mess, Djarin." The zabrak stood tall over him, arms crossed over his chest. He would have been intimidating, but the round glasses perched on his nose and the tight-fitted vest didn't necessarily do him any favours.

"Just here for some books, Tudua." Din titled his head. "This time."

"Any funny business and you're out, clear?"

"Crystal." He adjusted his grip on the child, who made an unintelligible noise. Tudua's eyes passed over it briefly.

"What's that?" he asked in a monotone voice. He eyed it suspiciously for a moment.

"My son."

"A foundling?"

Din stared up at him for a moment.

Tudua had been a Mandalorian, and their paths had crossed on multiple occasions when they were younger. Mere years after Tudua swore to the creed, however, he abandoned it to chase after a human he'd fallen deeply in love with.

That relationship hadn't worked out, though; the woman cheated on him with a twi'lek man then died in childbirth, so he was being forced to raise a half-twi'lek son that he hadn't wanted in the first place. Now he spent most of his days in the Library of Silversisi as an honourary librarian.

"Yes, a foundling."

"I've seen that species before."

Din took a mental step back. He stared a moment before clearing his throat. "What is it?"

Tudua only shrugged. "Don't know." Before Din could ask him to please elaborate, the zabrak was walking away with his hands in his pockets, whistling some unknown tune.

Fat load of good that was.

Din sighed, before placing the child onto the cool wooden flooring. "Come on. Let's go find what we're looking for."

It wasn't difficult to locate the section he'd been wanting. Most libraries were filled to the brim on science, it being the very core of how the galaxy operated. He skimmed through the books, tilting his head slightly to read the titles etched on the sides.

He'd always liked physical books, made of paper and everything. Electronic ones were convenient but there was something about turning the delicate pages of old books or blowing the dust off their covers.

He picked out a small selection of things that caught his eye. With a small stack about the size of the child, he marched up to the receptionist desk, where Tudua was flipping through a book on parenting of all things.

"How's your son?" he asked as he plopped down the books. They made a loud bang, but Tudua didn't jump or even look up from his book.

"The same." Without even looking, Tudua picked up each book one by one and scanned them with incredible accuracy. Before long, the entire selection was accounted for. "If you don't get these back to me within a month I'll hire someone from that bounty guild of yours to personally hunt you down."

"You'll have to wait in line." He would have winked, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway, because it wouldn't be seen through the visor - even if Tudua was actually paying attention.

"And how about your son?"

Tudua finally looked up from the book, just to peer down at the child. There was a faint hint of a smile, but perhaps he was imagining things.

"I don't know the first thing about being a father. But he's fine."

Tudua chuckled bitterly. "You and me both. Receipt?"

"No."

"Didn't take you for the science type."

"They're not for me, they're for..." a friend? An acquaintance? An enemy? "...someone else."

"Mm." Tudua gave him a receipt anyway. "One month, Djarin."

"Don't worry." He tucked the stack under his arm and picked up the child with the other. "I'll return them even if I die. Then I'll haunt you forever as a ghost."

"God, please don't. I'd kill myself."

"Ghost buddies."

"Just fuck off, Djarin."

As aggressive as their banter was, and Tudua's irritating insistence of using his real name, they were friends. Or at least, Din liked to think that they were. Tudua was hostile by nature, especially after the cheating and subsequential death of the love of his life - but he was the only person Din felt he could actually trust with important information. He might've been an angry bitter bastard, but he was loyal and kind at heart.

Soon enough they returned to the Razor Crest and set off onto their journey back to Obroa-skai. As the ship launched into hyperspace Din leaned back into the pilot's seat with an exasperated sigh.

The journey back felt twice as long as the journey from, and he wasn't sure why. It was almost like he was nervous - even though he'd no reason to be.

He merely wanted to grab some books for the doctor so he wouldn't get bored. But the more he thought about it the more he wondered if it was a good idea. Especially after leaving in such an abrupt manner.

The child looked up at him with those wide eyes, like he knew something was off.

"I'm fine," Din reassured him. And he was. Just... confused. Doctor Pershing confused him.

The overwhelming concern that enveloped him when he looked at Pershing's timid structure confused him. The rage that filled him when Pershing flinched away from the slightest of touches or winced at the smallest of movements confused him. The strange feeling developing in his chest confused him.

It made him feel young, which was saying a fucking lot. It made him feel sad yet also happy. It was like a blaster shot him in the heart with affection. Hurt like a bitch but he welcomed it.

He willed it to go away. But it persisted. The strange feeling.

He would ignore it, then. But that was so hard. He had never had difficulties getting someone out of his mind before - except for the child, but the child was his child, so that was understandable.

The doctor was an imperial scientist.

And yet, he had this strange ethereal effect.

Slowly, Obroa-skai faded back into view, and Din was pulled out of his thoughts. He couldn't be like this around the doctor.

The razor crest landed with a groan on the lush green grass just outside the hospital's doors. He grabbed the books in one hand before descending down the ramp, where he was met with one of the ugnaught employees.

"We didn't think you were coming back," he spoke with a thick accent. "We haven't been able to calm door Peri down for hours."

"Peri?"

The ugnaught quickened his steps to keep up with Din's long stride. "Young Mr Pershing, of course. He-"

Din suddenly stopped.

Had Pershing - or Peri, he supposed - thought he was leaving for good? He never intended for it to seem that way. Should he have told him what he was doing?

The ugnaught slammed into his legs with an oof. The child giggled.

"He's okay?" Din turned to stare down at the ugnaught, who was rubbing his nose.

"Well, he's fine now, sir. I can't say the same for our staff."

"What happened?"

"Threw a fit. Or that's what Doctor Avry said. I prefer to call it a psychological mishap. Less offensive."

Din turned back around and continued walking, readjusting his grip on the books. "I take it Doctor Avry isn't well respected."

"Oh, she's respected. But she's Arkanian."

That explained it.

The ugnaught held the door open for him and he stepped inside with a grateful nod. The child followed soon after. He made a beeline for Pershing's room, but a human nurse stepped in front him with her arms outstretched.

"He's asleep right now," she said softly, "you'll have to wait."

"I'm the one who brought him here." Din straightened his back. "I've been staying with him while he sleeps."

The nurse seemed to consider this. Her eyes darted to the child waddling up behind Din before she sighed and relented. "If you wake him up..."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

He gently pushed the door open, catching it just as it began to creak. All of the lights were off, but he could see the faint outline of Pershing sleeping on his side, curled up into a ball.

As silently as he could manage he placed the books on the bedside table. The child pawed at his leg. "Come here," he whispered, picking the child up to hold him in both of his hands. "I know you don't like it, but you have to be quiet."

Maybe the child did understand words after all, because he didn't make a single noise in the next two hours.

Unfortunately, that meant he was restless. And... truthfully, Din was restless too. He hated staying in the same spot. He'd always been on the move, switching from job to job to job - it was his lifestyle. But he wanted to be there when Pershing woke up, to explain that he wouldn't just... abandon him.

Even though he couldn't understand why that was. If it were anyone else he would have dropped them off at the hospital and left.

Why was this man any different? This imp? Someone who'd slaved their life away for an empire that only inspired hatred and war. How could such a man be so kind and thoughtful? And why - why - did Din want to help him so much?

Why couldn't he identify the feeling in his chest? Why couldn't he tear his eyes away? Why did he focus on the details, like how Pershing would fidget with loose strings? Or how he'd wrung his hands together when he was anxious?

He hated it, he hated all of it. So why wasn't he making an effort to stop?

Another hour went by, and though he'd tried to doze off, the child was too agitated. He wanted to get out and move, stretch his legs... there was a garden, but going meant leaving Pershing alone. Which he was averse to.

At that moment though, the light flickered on, and the twi'lek nurse entered into the room.

"Oh," said the nurse. "I didn't realise you were..."

"Should I leave?"

The nurse cast an awkward glance over to Pershing, who was beginning to stir from the sudden light. "No, I was just going to replace his drip."

Din had noticed it was running low. It only made sense. But even so, when the twi'lek got close, he felt the sudden urge to shove him away, to keep him at bay.

He clenched his fists. He's doing his job. He's helping. Why are you acting like this? He still remembered the way Pershing flushed when the twi'lek got too close. He remembered wanting to reach over and slap him. Don't you know what he's been through? What are you doing? You're too close. Stay away from him.

But why? Why did he feel so strongly about it?

It was stupid. It wasn't like - it wasn't like he ever went through what Pershing did. It wasn't like he had any particular reason to feel so angry about it. Yes, it was terrible, he wouldn't wish it upon his worst enemy, but...

And then there was another conflicting emotion that he just couldn't understand. Jealousy. At least he could identify it but - but it made no sense. What reason would he have to be jealous?

There wasn't one. It was irrational. Clearly he just needed to clear his head. The fuss of the last month was catching up to him, that's all it was.

Din lifted the child onto the floor and stood from his seat. "Let's go stretch your legs, little womprat." He held the door open for the child to pass through, closing it behind him just as Pershing began to open his eyes.

♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬ ♪ ♩ ♫ ♬

The garden was peaceful. It reminded Din of Sorgen, just without the neon-blue krill, and the large knee-deep ponds. The flowers' scent was so powerful it wafted up through his helmet, and he breathed a deep sigh of relief. This had been exactly what he needed.

The child was enticed with the flowers, and probably the smell, and seemed to sift through them like he was looking for something possibly frog-shaped. For the sake of the garden, Din hoped there weren't any.

He sat down on one of the benches. The garden was small and narrow, but large enough for a couple of children to run around in - which was probably the idea. He almost wished he could take off the helmet for a while, bathe in the sunlight and the pleasant breeze - then quickly shook that notion away.

Not even the child had seen him without his helmet. Technically it was allowed, the child was his son now, a foundling. But...

He would think on it later.

His moment of alone time was disturbed by the doors abruptly sliding open. Immediately, he jumped up from his seat and his hand shot to where his blaster rested, but it was only an old espirion man being wheeled out by a nurse.

"A Mandalorian!" the old man exclaimed in a croaky voice. His back was hunched and he was riddled with old age, but still bore a large smile on his face. "I have never seen one before!"

I'll never get used to that, Din thought as the old man wheeled himself over. The nurse stood in the corner with her hands behind her back.

"Hello, young man." The espirion held out a shaky hand. Din shook it as lightly as he could, but then the old man's grip became suddenly very tight. "It is an honour to meet a Mandalorian in the flesh."

"The honour is mine." He hoped his discomfort didn't show through his modulated voice. If the old man noticed, he didn't say anything.

"And who is this little one?"

The child was now waddling over with a small assortment of flowers and leaves clutched in his hand. It cooed.

"My son."

"Does he have a name?" The old man reached over to pat the child on the head.

"I'm... yet to give him one."

It hadn't been something he'd put much thought into. He admitted, though, it was getting repetitive, calling it "the child" or "the baby" or "my son" or "ad'ika"... though that one was usually only in private.

The old man hummed, before leaning back into his chair with a satisfied sigh. "He is adopted."

"Yes."

"I have seen one like him before."

Din turned his head slightly so he was facing the man. "You know his species?"

"The species? Goodness, no, Master Yoda was one of very few and I only ever saw him from afar so I never had the opportunity to ask..."

Din's eyes widened under the helmet. " 'Master Yoda' ?"

"Oh, yes... let me tell you something about him..."

Din never got to find out what he was, though, because just then the nurse strolled over to interrupt. "You should come back inside," she spoke with a thick accent.

"But I was just telling this young man about-"

"You can tell him later, you have to have your medicine, okay, Druan?"

She shot an apologetic glance back towards Din as she wheeled Druan away, as though the old man was being at all bothersome. That could have been vital information! Din would have to find the man before he left.

Not too soon later, the nurse re-entered the garden, but without Druan in toe. "I am sorry about that," she sighed as she patted down her dress. "He is... his mind has gone. He thinks there are people who can lift things with their mind and it is a mess."

An order of sorcerers called Jedi. The Armourer's words rang in his ears. As if on cue the child tugged at his leg plate, holding out his hands as a universal expression for "up".

Druan knew about the sorcerers. Better yet, he knew about someone who could be related to the child. Was this Master Yoda also one of those 'Jedi'? How is it that no one knows about them? How had such a powerful race become merely myth and legend?

He placed the child on his lap, who shifted a bit, before finding a spot that was comfortable. "What does he say about them?" Din asked. The nurse sighed like she'd heard about it one too many times.

"That they are all dead. And yet he claims to have met them. It makes no sense." She cast a glance around at the garden before sighing once more. "I must go. But it was a pleasure meeting you."

Pleasure. "Yeah."

Even though this new information was incredible news, something in Din's heart stung. He wasn't ready to give up the child. Especially not to an enemy race. Not so soon. Preferably not ever, but... this is The Way.

Mandalorian culture consisted of two very important things: armour and children. The foundlings were the future. Protect the children at all costs - whatever it takes - even if it took the lives of elders. Deep down he knew that giving the child to these sorcerers was the right thing to do, but that didn't ease the hurt.

The child was his son. The Armourer said as much. They were a clan of two, and Din bore the signet to prove it. How could he possibly give his son away?

Besides, what if the child didn't want to go with these sorcerers? Or what if the sorcerers rejected him? What if Din accidentally stirred up an age-old war, thus dooming the Mandalorians to extinction?

Or perhaps he was just being paranoid. That's what Cara would have told him, with a slap on the back.

Who was to say the Jedi even existed anymore, anyway. Clearly they haven't been seen or even heard of for decades upon decades - since no one seemed to know who they were, or those that do know of them are regarded as one who believes in myths and legends.

Then again, the Mandalorians were becoming somewhat of a myth themselves. At least, that was before they revealed themselves on Nevarro...

The thought lingered in his mind.

The sight had made him sick, and thinking about it now only did the same. Those discarded helmets. Blood staining the floors. The thought that his entire clan might've been killed. His family. Even as they lowly regarded him, he would still find himself with a soft spot for them. Even Paz.

Paz wouldn't hesitate to call him a hu'tuun. Or aruetyc. Even if he hadn't technically done anything wrong.

He would then proceed to save Din from the Guild, thus revealing the covert, and getting himself fucking killed. That was his helmet.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the child began waving and cooing at someone by the doorway.

"I-I thought you left," came a familiar, soft voice.

Pershing.

He was still dressed in the hospital gown, but it was tucked into a pair of grey pants. It was an odd sight to behold, especially within the serene confines of the garden. Yet, somehow, the loose shirt paired with the tight pants wasn't off-putting.

"I did. But then I came back. Did you like the books?"

"Um." Pershing stared at his hands with the intent of a thousand fiery suns. If Din didn't know any better he'd say the doctor was angry, but he was probably just thinking really hard. "Yes, they're... you got them for me?"

The doctor finally looked up, and they locked eyes. A strange feeling shot through Din's chest. "Yes. I thought you might want something to read while you're stuck here. I do have to return them eventually, though, so make sure you don't let your science side take over and scribble notes on every page."

Shockingly, Pershing actually cracked a nervous smile, which... made Din happy, even if the smile was gone as quick as it came. "I'll make sure they're as pristine as the day they left the library. Where did you...?"

"Silversisi."

"But! But that's... at least a two-hour journey from here, even with the fastest hyper-space! You travelled for four hours and then-some just to get me some books? I-I'm sure I would have managed, really..."

It made no sense. It baffled Din, how the doctor would shy away from people who were trying to be nice. It was as if he believed he didn't deserve it.

...then again, he was Imperial.

Din decided to change the subject. "I heard from one of the staff that you had a... psychological breakdown."

Pershing flushed a fierce shade of crimson red. Any eye-contact that they had was immediately broken as the doctor averted his wide eyes to the ground. "I see."

The silence that followed was stifling. Din hadn't intended to embarrass the man. Fuck if he knew how emotions worked... sometimes Din wished he wasn't so emotionally stunted. "I just wanted to ask if you're alright."

He couldn't see the doctor's facial expression, but he could hear the sharp intake of breath and a shaky sigh. "Fine. I'm fine. Um, who's the one who told you that?"

An odd question. "One of the ugnaughts. I didn't catch his name. Why?"

"Nothing. It's fine. I'm fine."

It was very obviously not fine. But Din had at least picked up something regarding manners in his many years: it's not polite to pry. "Why were you so upset?" That, of course, didn't mean he knew how to keep his mouth shut, though. He already knew the answer, of course, but he still felt perhaps it would be better to hear it from the source...

"There wasn't a reason."

The reply was as immediate as a bullet and as sharp as a dagger. There was something in Pershing's tone that made him want to retreat, but being Mandalorian, surrendering wasn't exactly his forte. "There must be one."

"Why?" Pershing snapped. Their eyes met again. The doctor's face was still flushed, but his expression was angry and piercing. "Why does there have to be a reason? I was- I was just upset, okay? I don't remember it. And it's none of your business, you... you can't just pry like that. I don't like it, so don't."

I don't like it. It was the type of phrase a child victim of bullying would say to the perpetrator, and it would never work, because that was the point of bullying. To make them miserable.

But Din hadn't wanted Pershing to get upset. He definitely didn't want the child to make a sad noise, either; or frown up at him, like he just disappointed the entire galaxy. And honestly, he felt like he had.

And it's not like he could just apologise. Or... or well, he could, really, and he should, but he couldn't even remember the last time he so much as muttered those two forsaken words and he feared it would come out as awkward and forced, but- oh, it was too late, anyway.

In the time he took to think about his reply, Pershing had turned on his heel and left without Din even noticing.

Damn you, Djarin. Learn to fucking speak.

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 8x02 Brain Dump

Meh! This is gonna be a shorter one, because quite frankly, this just wasn't worth staying up late for (it airs at 2am my time 😩😩), and I felt it a waste of one of the final run of episodes. It wasn’t the worst episode everrr, by any means, but it was just meh. And I think for the last season we deserve better than meh, every single week.

The good 😍

Always start with, and double-down on the positives haha!! 

Antonio Negret and Stephen Amell really came through for us with The Ring Moment, which, albeit very brief, just gave us a little moment to remind us that Felicity was on Oliver’s mind throughout all of this, that she was his driving force for doing this crazy mission, and that (through the quotes they selected for flashbacks) he still had hope in what he was doing, and that Felicity will find him, and they were “gonna be fine” 😭😭😭

Source: olicitygifs

If this wasn’t foreshadowing a happy Olicity ending, then why are we even here haha!

Some more below the cut:

Antonio did a great job overall in this episode; his episodes are always beautifully shot and he gets the absolute best out of the character moments in the scripts. I’d have actually loved for Antonio to have directed the premiere last week…ugh that would have amped that up to astronomical levels of awesome!!

Oliver’s moments with Tatsu. I’m glad they used her to service Oliver’s character; we could have done with her joining the team back in the day instead of NTA! She was a true ally!

Source: oliverxfelicity

This moment was wonderful to show why he is still there on the mission (short version, he's a paragon of heroes, duh). I’m really glad they had Tatsu question his reasons so he could give this answer; that he is in this for his family. He ‘knows’ he’s going to die, and he left his family behind to keep them (and the rest of the multiverse) safe, so he has to keep trusting The Monitor, because if not, and he doesn’t see this through, then he left his family for nothing. However, I’m pleased that Tatsu challenging him on this, led him to ultimately actually question The Monitor, by deciding to go to Nanda Parbat for more answers.

Source: oliverxfelicity

The flash forwards. A very welcome reprieve from the A storyline this week! Mia taking the lead back in the lair, and being all protective sister over William is A MOOD.

I love seeing her in softer moments like when she was reassuring Connor, or her panic over William. We have seen glimpses of this before last season and it reminds us that she does have a big squishy heart inside like her papa, along with the empathy of her Mama Smoak, as well as being the kickass team leader/warrior/vigilante.

William continues to be his witty, adorable, hacktastic self and he has my whole heart!! 💗💗💗

Connor and JJs relationship is adorable. Connor has so much John Diggle in him, I just cannot 😍😍 And we saw the mask slip a little on JJ, and heard about the little hero boy that he used to be, but appears to have well and truly left behind 😩 I can’t wait to see future Dig because this good/evil brother thing is just going to remind him of him and Andy and he’s going to blame himself and it’s going to be fantastic!! I hope we get to see that!!

What else…ooh THAT ENDING!!! From that awesome shot of Lyla's Amanda Waller shoes to finding out that she is already working with The Monitor 😱😱😱 This ending was gooood. Do I think that Lyla is really evil? NOPE. Do I hope that this will lead to a beautiful Dyla confrontation? HELL YES!!! But as Mia said in the flash forwards that Lyla and John were “basically saints”, I hope that that implies that she (1) isn't evil and (2) doesn't die...yay!!

The bad 😡

Black Siren😒😒😒 My brief love affair with BS has officially ended haha! I really wanted to continue liking her after there was no Felicity for her to bounce off, but NOPE. Instead they’ve had her revert back to every other incarnation of LL, whereby she just blames Oliver for everything that goes wrong for her (and let’s not even get started on that terrible fake crying). Blaming Oliver when he literally had no clue what he was doing on that Earth, and it would undoubtedly have happened anyway (The Monitor confirmed this later). Oh and he just saved your ungrateful arse, when you could have stopped to help (and would have definitely died), but you just hopped straight on through the portal instead so shut the fuck up and sit down!! RAAHHH!! Ok, I know that she was just processing her grief etc etc etc, but ugh!! And then she comes back and takes all the glory for saving Tatsu when she should have been there repaying Oliver and Dig and helping them out in the first place, without even a hint of an apology?! **SHAKES ANGRY FIST**

The Monitor manipulating Oliver by telling him he was responsible for the loss of Earth 2. This was later revealed to not be the case, him stating that it was a necessary sacrifice. So what was the point in this? To keep him in line? To ready Oliver somehow, as he alluded to with Lyla at the end? Ugh. The Monitor sucks balls.

The plot…what even happened? Some Dr bloke was needed by The Monitor for Unknown Reasons (I feel like we’ll be getting a lot of this, I only hope that most of it is accounted for later). He didn’t appear to be interested in the new Alpha-Omega virus, leaving that plot point seemingly shoehorned in because ode to S3 🙄🙄 Oliver stopped the virus getting out and rescued the Dr, but didn’t want to hand him over right away (but Lyla did anyway), so he decides to go to Nanda Parbat next week for answers. The end.

The Meh 😕

Meh sums up this episode for me really. This is how I thought I'd be feeling about S8, but last week showed that they could still make it good, so why aren't they?!😭😭 I really want to be enjoying this last run!

Action, action, action! 🙄🙄 A fight sequence-heavy episode was never going to be a favourite, it’s just not what I watch for, so that’s not a bad thing; lots of people are here for all the fighting, so this is for them! The fight scenes were actually shot well, and didn’t have any of the awkward camera-moves-past-each-character-one-by-one-and-hopes-no-one-misses-their-marks-or-gets-caught-standing-still moments that we often see **cough** last weeks episode **cough** 😂

Lyla. Don’t hate me. I love Lyla! But until that (awesome) ending, her presence was wasted by being BS’s cheerer-upper, when she could have been with the A team haha! I did like her little “hi honey” moment with Dig though 😍😍 I’m hoping they use Lyla more as the season progresses up to the crossover, especially given that ending!

Source: feilcityqueen

China White. Although it was good that they kept her a secret, and were able to use an already-established baddie for the episode, she just fell a bit flat for me, much like other times in later years that they brought her back.

Of course the episode wasn’t 100% terrible, there were some beautiful little character moments for Oliver and the flash forward crew, but for me, a few heartfelt moments does not a great episode make. It felt like they got Tatsu to come back for an episode and thought ok, how do we build an episode around that. It didn't drive the story forward, it didn't particularly offer any character development (all of BS's fake crying notwithstanding), it was meh. There are so very few episodes of this show left, ever, and I feel like each one they should just be squeezing out all of the excellent Arrow juice and making them count, and this just didn’t feel like that for me, sadly. But onwards and upwards!! Next week has potential!!

Next week

Speedy and Nanda Parbat!! And if we don’t get a 3x20 sexytimes call-back then quite frankly what is the point hahaha!!

Thank you to the wonderful gifmakers, who always capture the best moments so beautifully 😍😍😍 (Uncredited gifs are mine)

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 6.1

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time…

…Kaito went to space. That’s all. He was in space, and he was happy.

Now to start chapter 6, which I am not quite as excited to get into – can’t possibly imagine why. There’s still definitely a lot I want to talk about, though.

We open the chapter with… Makoto. Not the Makoto we knew (he doesn’t exist), but a kid who’s called Makoto nonetheless. That’s almost certainly the most popular thing to name your kid in this universe, even probably for cultures that aren’t Japanese.

We also have some bizarrely cheerful music. Originally my feelings about this was just that it gave a very weird mood whiplash from everything else that had been going on. But now all it makes me think of is this game’s bonus board game/RPG mode that this music is actually taken from, which I may have got rather addicted to played an inordinate amount of one point. Hearing this now just makes me want to roll some dice and optimise my characters’ stat spreads, dammit! (And by “my characters”, obviously I mean Kaede, Shuichi, Kaito and Maki, who else.)

Makoto:  “I don’t have any talents or anything. I’m just a regular teenager…”

…

Makoto:  “Getting into an elite school like this was just the start of my bad luck.”

The writers (entirely out-universe here, of course) really just wanted to drop all these similarities to Makoto Naegi here just to mess with us and make us wonder if this kid really is him despite looking different, didn’t they.

Makoto:  “I want to run away from my daily life… I want to run away and just forget all this…”

This is considerably less like Makoto Naegi, though. He may have been ordinary, and a little daunted at getting into an elite school, but he was ultimately pretty chill with it and didn’t really want anything to change.

Makoto:  “But I’m okay! I have a reason to live!”

Remember the Monokuma Theater last chapter where Monokuma said he’d be thrilled if Danganronpa was people’s reason to live? Apparently it really is, for probably way more people than just Makoto here.

Makoto:  “I’ve got something to look forward to! That’s why I’m gonna be okay! Thanks for the courage! Thanks for giving me something to get totally obsessed with! Thanks for the strength to keep going!”

This is extremely relatable to me! This is what genuinely loving and caring about a work of fiction looks like! I can’t tell you how many times in my own life I’ve felt like things are going great for me almost entirely because there’s a work of fiction that I absolutely love that makes me happy just to think about.

Makoto:  “I’ll keep on rooting for you, so please keep trying your best!”

And look, he cares about the characters! Obviously, somewhere inside him he is hoping to see bad things happen to them, but that’s because he wants to see them overcome those trials! On the level on which he is actually engaging with the characters as if they’re people, by cheering them on like this, he just wants them to succeed.

It’s kind of like the way I’ve been doing this commentary. On the one hand I’ve been very unabashedly appreciating all the horrible suffering everyone’s gone through and the ways in which it’s been emphasised because that’s what makes this fiction so enjoyable. But when I talk about that, I take the more detached, third-person-pronouns approach, like they’re elements in a well-crafted work of art. Whenever I use second-person pronouns as if I’m engaging with the characters myself, imaging that they’re real people I could talk to, I almost never say anything about how I appreciate their suffering. I’m not engaging with them because I want them to suffer. I want them to suffer so that I’ll end up caring about them even more and therefore will want to engage with them more. Which would all still be thoroughly fucked-up if they really were real, but this is how engaging with fiction works.

(I am making a big point to stress all of this about Makoto here because, oh boy, the next time we see the in-universe audience, things are not going to be remotely this way and that is my biggest issue with this chapter.)

Makoto:  “And—! One day, I’ll also—!”

…audition for Danganronpa and hopefully probably get myself killed in one, is what he’s about to say.

No, Makoto. You were doing great at being a healthy, wholesome appreciater of fiction (aside from the part where it’s not really fiction and you’re watching real people die) until now. Genuinely wanting to be a part of your favourite works of fiction is usually quite an understandable sentiment… but not when it’s Danganronpa, what the actual hell.

We have suddenly jumped from Makoto being a reasonable example of someone enjoying a work of “fiction”, into him being an example of how utterly fucked-up this outside world actually is. People – specifically, teenagers – will apparently willingly throw their lives away to be on Danganronpa if they don’t think their life has much else going for them. That’s why this Makoto hates his life, to make him someone who’d want to do this. If Danganronpa really is his only reason to live, then it does make some kind of twisted sense that it’d also give him a reason to die.

Something important to note about this scene is simply the fact that we’re seeing it. This is in a context entirely removed from anything happening right now in the Academy and is for our eyes, the out-universe audience, only. So there is no reason to doubt that what we’re seeing here is the truth. This Makoto kid really is watching “Danganronpa V3” unfold like it’s basically a work of fiction and having a great time.

I’ve seen some people propose the idea that sure, the killing game was put on as a “fiction” for people’s entertainment, but only for a shady illegal underground audience of people who should know they’re being shitty, probably hidden away somewhere in the deepest darkest corners of the internet. On some level, I might like to believe that, because it’s nicer and easier to buy than thinking the entire world is this obliviously twisted. But Makoto here is a completely ordinary teenager who would be very unlikely to have any idea how to access something like that, and he doesn’t seem to have any conception of the fact that what he’s watching and enjoying so much is illegal and frowned upon and he needs to keep it secret. So I don’t think that can reasonably be the truth here.

Anyway, back at the Academy, Keebo is busy destroying everything. He’d better leave the training spot alone, though – that place contains precious memories of Kaito and deserves to remain undamaged.

Also bear in mind that this is still the same evening after Kaito’s trial. They are not getting any time to rest here.

Keebo:  “Did you call for me? Please keep it brief. I have other matters I must attend to.”

Geez, Keebo. “Keep it brief, because I’m busy getting all of us killed”? Yeah, maybe that’s why they won’t want to keep this brief.

Maki:  “What’s with that weapon and the jet pack?”

Keebo:  “I obtained this equipment from my lab.”

Maki:  “You had equipment like that… in your lab?”

Implicit in Maki’s words here is the sentiment of: then why the fuck didn’t you use it *sooner*? Which, yes. Very much.

Keebo:  “I made some modifications to drastically improve their power output and functionality.”

Tsumugi:  “Since when have you been able to do that? You didn’t level up or anything, right? Did… something happen?”

The fact that it’s Tsumugi asking him this suggests that he really wasn’t supposed to be able to do that at all. It would be pretty stupid of Team Danganronpa to have someone that potentially dangerous here. Obviously they figured he’d never do anything drastic because his inner voice had him on a leash, but the suggestion from Tsumugi’s words here is that he shouldn’t even have been able to make those modifications, inner voice or not, and he just figured it out himself somehow by being a smarter person than she’d written him to be. Maybe he learned a thing or two from his time with Miu?

Keebo:  “I wanted to be treated like a real human. A creature of flesh and blood like you all. But I no longer have the luxury of clinging to that wish anymore!”

You never had that luxury, not while abandoning that wish (and only temporarily, mind you) would have saved your friends’ lives!

The writing is trying to present this like it’s some kind of character development, but there’s been absolutely no build-up to Keebo realising something like this. And there’s no reason that the seven people who’d died before his lab opened up wouldn’t have been enough, such that he somehow needed to see four more deaths before finally making this decision. The only actual change now is the lack of his inner voice – but that never had anything to do with the part of his character that felt awkward about not being human and shouldn’t be making a difference to this supposed character development.

Tsumugi:  “If you do something like that… we’ll all die too, y’know!? There’s no oxygen in the outside world… There are no living things…”

Tsumugi would like to remind us all that there is definitely 100% not anyone alive out there, even though Kaito's efforts just proved that there almost certainly somehow is.

Shuichi:  “Our hope is… everyone here. Our friends who are still alive.”

Shuichi is good. He’s not going to forget the last thing Kaito said to him!

Keebo:  “We simply do not have the power to change the outside world on our own.”

Well that’s very foreshadowy of you, Keebo. He’s only talking about making it less uninhabitable, but.

Keebo:  “All we can do now is refuse to submit to despair!”

Shuichi:  “And you would be willing to let all of us die to accomplish that?”

Yeah, doesn’t sound very not-despairing, does it, Shuichi? Keebo’s just gunning for a different type of despair right now.

Keebo:  “Kaito and Kokichi gave their lives to end this killing game… We should follow their example! We should be willing to give our lives to end this killing game!”

Okay, so to be fair, this might sort of count as following Kokichi’s example, since he wanted to ruin the audience’s experience (even though he went about it in literally the worst way possible by giving them two incredibly entertaining trials). Killing ourselves to give them a boring ending is actually along the lines of what Kokichi at least should have been trying to do, and is in fact what everyone will attempt in the end once they realise what’s going on.

But fuck off with your implication that Kaito would have wanted this, Keebo. Kaito gave his life so that everyone else could survive and escape, not so that they’d all do the same as him! Kaito’s sacrifice was only ever about “ending” the killing game so long as doing so would save everyone!

Maki:  “…Is that what your inner voice is telling you to do?”

It’s interesting that Maki considers this possibility. I wonder what she thinks his inner voice is, since she’s pragmatic enough to not believe in hearing voices, especially not for a robot.

Keebo:  “We can never submit to despair! Because we are students of Hope’s Peak Academy!”

Keebo may have lost his inner voice, but he’s clearly still very much a thrall to the other kind of brainwashing that’s been going on here.

Shuichi:  “Because there might still be hope. There might still be a place to call home.”

Keebo:  “And what are you basing that claim on?”

Shuichi:  “…Nothing. I just have a feeling.”

Shuichi just has a hunch! He’s doing a Kaito and he knows it and it’s so lovely that he’s able to say that with a smile!

Maki:  “Just a feeling…? You sound like that idiot right now.”

Maki knows it just as well, of course. She’s smiling, too! I love how her calling him an idiot has become a thing of affection now. They really are his sidekicks.

(I am going to bring up and be delighted by every single moment in this chapter of them fondly remembering Kaito like this and you can’t stop me.)

Shuichi:  “…Kaito said so. […] There can be no killing game without an audience.”

…So actually, Shuichi was basing his claim on something after all and just wanted to act very Kaito about it anyway, and that is adorable. Well, maybe he felt like it was appropriate because this still isn’t very concrete evidence, but.

Look at him being really sure of this argument, though! Kaito gave everything to prove that and he succeeded, and Shuichi is not going to let his efforts go to waste.

Shuichi:  “There’s still a possibility!”

Keebo:  “True, we cannot say there is absolutely no possibility. But even a mere possibility—”

Shuichi:  “That possibility is our hope!”

Finally, someone gets it! The actual meaning of the damn word! They don’t know for sure that it’s true, but so long as they can keep believing that it’s possible there’s a home for them out there, that is hope.

Monokuma finally shows up with his Exisals in tow. (I wonder what Monotaro makes of the small mountain of screwed-up bloodstained toilet paper in the recesses of his cockpit.)

Monokuma:  “Huh? Is the robot malfunctioning? He must be – why else would he try to defy me?”

Haha, yeah, Keebo is very much meant to be part of the workings of this killing game and not someone who should try and fight against that, isn’t he?

Goodbye Danganronpa

Wow, geez, that was late for a title card. I forgot we hadn’t even had that yet. Of course, this title is pretty straightforward, yet a lot more literal than anyone would be expecting it to be on their first time through.

Maki:  “But why did Monokuma leave a weapon like that in the research lab? He’s… pretty careless, isn’t he?”

Good question! The way Maki’s actively asking this suggests it’s something that actually has an answer, but I’m still not convinced it’s anything but lazy writing.

Maki:  “If the outside world is destroyed, then the mastermind must be in this school, right?”

Makiii, Kaito proved to you guys that the outside world probably isn’t as destroyed as it seems! Don’t you believe that too? (I mean, yes, the mastermind is in fact in this school, but there’s no reason to necessarily think that right now.)

…Actually, Maki still buying the lie about the outside world despite Kaito’s efforts to discredit it might be down to her in particular being very subsceptible to the Flashback Light’s manipulation. There’ll be some more indications of that in this chapter.

Tsumugi:  “Someone… You mean a Remnant of Despair, right?”

Tsumugi is very quick to keep things on-script and remind everyone that this is definitely about Remnants of Despair.

Maki:  “If we can find them and kill them, then this killing game should end.”

Shuichi:  “Ah, I don’t know about *killing* them…”

Yes, Maki, listen to Shuichi! Remember that the last time you tried to kill the “mastermind”, you nearly got Kaito killed instead! Kaito risked his life because he didn’t want you to kill anyone else, even if it was the mastermind!

Maki:  “…Hope?”

Shuichi:  “Our home. Where we’re going to live after this killing game ends. I know there is hope out there. We have to find it before we leave.”

This is what Kaito was talking about when he said Shuichi could find “something beyond the truth” – something beyond that destroyed world they saw at the end of the tunnel. Kaito sacrificed everything for the plan to give them this hope!

(And again since I must nitpick: they wouldn’t be finding the “hope”. The fact that they’re even looking means they already have hope, thanks to Kaito.)

Himiko:  “This isn’t some fictional story, so I don’t think things’ll work out that well…”

Hoo boy. We’re in chapter 6 now, all gloves are off, hints are being dropped left and right and they do not care about being subtle.

Shuichi:  “But if we look for it, we just might find it. If we don’t try… we’ll never find anything.”

This is also quite Kaito of him! Kaito never specifically said anything with this wording, but he was always advocating the idea that you’ve got to put in the effort to be able to get anywhere.

Maki:  “No matter how impossible it seems, we’ll accomplish it.”

Speaking of Kaito! This… is awkward localisation. Maki’s phrasing here is a close match to the Japanese phrasing of Kaito’s “The impossible is possible, all you gotta do is make it so” catchphrase. Evidently, Maki’s localiser is a different one to Kaito’s, and they never got the memo about what Kaito’s catchphrase was changed to in English and just translated this directly.

This is still clearly reminiscent enough of Kaito to get across the point that she’s thinking of him anyway, but Maki is meant to have straight-up said that the impossible is possible, and, awwww! That’s adorable.

Shuichi:  (Maki…) “…Yes… that’s right!”

Shuichi agrees! He’s happy for the reminder! They are such good sidekicks.

Hope Searching time, again! This is still an appropriate title, because, like Shuichi just said, they are searching for proof that they have somewhere to return to, and that is hope.

A sudden tremor causes part of the entrance hall’s floor to collapse and reveal a staircase downwards that leads to Kokichi’s lab. Shuichi guesses that this was meant to open with a mysterious item, presumably if things had been proceeding as normal and Monokuma had happily given them their “presents” like at the beginning of any other chapter. But, awkwardly, there was never any mysterious object around here that looked like something that could have opened this. Yet again, anything which is not directly meant for the player to interact with simply doesn’t exist in the game world, even if it’s something that should exist as part of the story.

“Now it is time to test your bonds with your friends!”

DID YOU KNOW THIS DANGANRONPA GAME IS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP.

…Okay, this whole Friendship Power mechanic for this investigation is actually a very thinly-veiled way to force you to investigate places in a completely linear order by restricting where you have access to until you’ve reached a certain point in the story. But since they were going to have to do that one way or another, I love that they flavoured it to be about this.

“So work hard to end this killing game before dawn breaks!”

Oh, boy, this, though. This whole time limit mechanic is really badly-implemented.

The first thing is that it’s not a real-time time limit at all. I’m leaving my game running as I type this and it’s not going to make a difference. The timer just ticks forwards a small amount every time you examine something or talk to someone, as is appropriate for what is after all a visual novel and not an action game. I’ve seen several blind LPers assume it was a real-time time limit (because the game is very vague about it) and get instilled with a sense of urgency because of that, so I guess that was meant to be the point.

What the real, ahem, “challenge” of this time limit is is that you’re supposed to try not to examine anything nonessential. Which is really not an okay way for a mystery visual novel to be! Half the fun of these sorts of games is seeing what kind of silly bonus dialogue you get for checking things that don’t matter, to the point that many people’s approach when investigating a room is to figure out what object will progress the plot when they examine it and then examine that one last. But here, the developers are telling us we’re “failing” at playing the game properly… when we’re trying to play the game as much as possible. That’s quite frankly rude. They went to the trouble of writing a bunch of bonus dialogue for this investigation, and yet they apparently don’t want anyone to see it.

There’s also the fact that, from my experiments, there is extremely little leeway. You can examine at most two or three nonessential things while still remaining within the time limit, and anything more than that causes you to run out of time before the end. Even if someone is actually trying to examine only the essential objects, on a first run through they’re not going to know exactly what’s important, because sometimes the relevant thing is not that intuitive, and they’re almost certainly going to make more than just a few “mistakes”!

And the punishment for “failing”? I’m sure literally everybody has already seen this themselves, but all you get is Shuichi briefly going “Oh no, I took too long!”, a brief cutscene of the Academy exploding… and then it puts you back at the beginning of whatever room you were in with the timer wound back far enough that you can hypothetically finish from here. It’s the most petty of slaps on the wrist, but of course it shouldn’t be any more than that, because having to replay the entire chapter for the crime of not knowing exactly what was important, or, gasp, wanting to see more dialogue, would be incredibly obnoxious. So what’s the point in even having it be possible to fail in the first place?

What they should really do is have the timer tick forward only when you examine something plot-relevant. That way you’d get the illusion of being in a hurry to anyone who’s on a first time and hasn’t realised how it works, but none of the annoyance of meaninglessly “failing” or of it being incredibly inconvenient to actively go looking for bonus dialogue.

…Also. Uh. Turns out I was partially wrong about it not being a real time limit. I assumed that because the timer doesn’t seem to visibly move when you’re standing around, yet you can notice it tick forwards a small chunk whenever you finish examining something. Buuuut, as I left it running while typing this, with Shuichi just standing in the hallway, the timer has progressed a bunch. Some quick science, namely staring at the screen for a while, confirms that it does actually move in incredibly small pixel-by-pixel increments that are hard to notice unless you’re looking for it. So I guess also don’t go leaving your game running during this part either! Geez. …And, turns out it also ticks forward outside of dialogue if you’ve had the Monopad open for a while. It doesn’t even let you pause the game to pause the timer! Rude.

The timer does however completely vanish during actual dialogue, meaning that it is presumably actually paused then. …Yes; I did some more science to confirm this, this time sitting on a dialogue box for probably something like half an hour and seeing the timer still only tick forwards a little bit once I finally clicked through the dialogue. Talking (or thinking) is a free action, apparently, even though standing around without talking or thinking isn’t.

Anyway, here’s the method I used last time I played this chapter to be able to see all optional dialogue anyway while still technically not “failing” because fuck you too, game: Save as soon as you enter a new place. Go nuts examining everything you want to, while noting which ones seem to be necessary to progress and which ones aren’t. Before leaving for the next place, reset back to your save and this time go through the room while only examining the correct things (fastforwarding the dialogue if you want, not that it matters), so that the game thinks you did so in the minimum amount of “time”. Then head to the next place (as quickly as you can, apparently), save as soon as you enter it, and repeat. Doing this last time I played was how I learned that there was so ridiculously little leeway for “mistakes”, because even then I only just barely made it.

And of course I’m going to be doing that again on this playthrough to get all the optional dialogue, because that’s what this commentary is here for, dammit.

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[Next post]

[butchharrydalton]

Madoka Magica’s Beautiful Queerness

I must confess: Puella Magi Madoka Magica is my all-time favorite anime and manga.

I first got into anime when I was 8, sitting down in front of the TV gleefully watching Sailor Moon swinging her sparkly wands around and declaring justice against monster after monster. I’d heard of it from somewhere on the internet, and upon asking my dad, he described it as a story about “a girl who turns into a superhero.” I’d later learn there were countless shows like Naoko Tekuchi’s classic, all falling under the aptly named “Magical Girl” genre.

To be frank, I’m not licensed to talk about Magical Girls as, by being white, I lack that cultural context to fully analyze the common tropes of these kinds of media. As such, I will NOT be talking about Magical Girls as a genre or about how Madoka Magica and Sailor Moon changed it. However, Sailor Moon was what kicked off my interest and from there on out, I sought out other similar anime and stumbled upon something… different.

That was when I came upon Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Unlike many unfortunate (and mentally scarred) fans of the surprisingly dark deconstruction, I was lucky enough to read the Wikipedia article on it and have some foreknowledge on its mature themes. I didn’t actually end up reading or watching the series then and there, and almost forgot about it until the first 3 volumes of the manga appeared in my school’s library.

I’ll admit; I mostly checked it out because of the sparkly rainbow covers, but briefly I remembered that all was not what it seemed. As much as I love girly fluff, I’m also really into psychological horror, and Madoka Magica delivered both.

PMMM follows Madoka Kaname and her friends as they make contracts with an alien cat called Kyubey, allowing them to obtain magical powers and a wish for their souls. Each of the girls realizes, though, that this contract is far more dangerous and sinister than they thought, and that Kyubey may not be fully honest about his actual motivations. It starts out adorable, but then in episode 3, a dark twist quickly turns this innocent show into an emotional and horrifying thrill ride.

The manga’s beautiful art and readability got me obsessed, and I ended up picking up the spinoff manga series and watching the 12-episode anime. Each of course, was equally magical and fantastic, only making me love this fictional universe more. The characters were incredibly human and had a depth that made me care for them, and the series managed to perfectly balance and contrast both its horrific and heartwarming moments. That’s not even mentioning the plot, which was unpredictable and enjoyably surprising, with a perfect ending.

By and large, though, my favorite thing about Madoka Magica was how beautifully queer the story was. The show has been criticized for queerbaiting and pulling out some problematic tropes, as the relationships admittedly are not as obvious as they could be, but upon watching it’s blatant that the main girls are anything but straight. Despite the flaws of this representation, the story manages overall to create an enjoyable narrative about the lives of these girls and the relationships between them.

When the series starts, we first get to know shy, pink-haired Madoka and her spunky, blue-haired best friend Sayaka. In the first episode, a romantic relationship is already teased between the girls, Sayaka hugging Madoka and explicitly calling Madoka her wife.

Sayaka and Madoka are unfortunately something of a rare-pair in the fandom, but their relationship is so genuinely wholesome and loving during the series that it’s a surprise that not many people ship them. They can be seen holding hands and supporting each other through whatever comes, and up until episode 8 they are together through everything.

Sayaka is unashamed to tell Madoka everything she’s feeling, and both are motivated mostly by protecting each other. Unfortunately, they have a falling out because of Sayaka’s increasing distress about her contract, but this is eventually resolved when they are brought back together at the end of the series.

These two aren’t the only couple hinted at, either.

When a new girl, Homura, transfers to Madoka and Sayaka’s class, Sayaka develops somewhat of a crush and remarks about how beautiful Homura is. This is quickly overwritten when Sayaka and Homura become more antagonistic, though.

After Homura joins the cast, Madoka and Sayaka are saved from a “witch” (the monster contracted girls must fight) by a girl named Mami. Both Madoka and Sayaka become fast friends with Mami, both talking a little too much about how “cool” they think she is.

While fighting another witch and alone with Madoka, Mami reveals that she struggles with loneliness and what could even be read as symptoms of mental illness. Madoka responds by holding hands with her, comforting Mami and reminding her that she isn’t alone. Mami then calls the two of them “a magical girl duo,” and monologues about the newfound emotions she feels about her companionship with Madoka. Note that this is only on episode 3 out of a 12-episode anime!

This beautiful moment of non-heterosexuality, though, is again unfortunately brief. Mami becomes careless and is killed by the witch she intended to defeat, leaving Madoka and Sayaka scarred. This is of course, somewhat problematic, given that Mami’s death could be read as an incident of bury your gays. The series does seem to invoke this with the characters’ deaths, and I will concede that I can’t exactly justify this especially since it really seems to take a while to even confirm that character’s queerness. Even so, the deaths are relevant to the plot and drive the story, so avoiding the characters’ demise would actually hinder the story and the message it attempts to deliver.

After Mami dies, the start of Sayaka’s primary arc begins. It’s hinted that Sayaka may have had some deeper feelings for Mami than she shows. She regrets that she didn’t make a contract in time to save her, and fights (and dies) to model how Mami used to. Most of how Sayaka acts from this point forward is in memory of Mami, which is both beautiful and tragic for her character. It’s a testament to the queer undertones of the show that Sayaka is willing to fight in honor of the girl she loved.

Another character named Kyouko is introduced as an antagonist, another one of the “magical girls.” She fights with Sayaka over witch hunting territory, and their philosophical disagreements on how to kill the monsters make them at odds with each other. Despite this, there’s an aspect of Foe Yay to how they interact with each other.

It’s revealed that Kyubey takes a girl’s soul when she makes a contract with him, causing Sayaka to fall off the deep end, while Kyouko begins to see herself in Sayaka and tries to rescue her before it’s too late. Kyouko’s character goes from a villainous one to that of someone who pushes other people away because of their fear of abandonment, supported by what she experienced prior to the series.

She wished for her father’s church to become popular again after he was excommunicated, but once he discovered that his daughter is what he labels a witch, Kyouko is outcast and her family dies by her father’s hand. Her story is reminiscent of the rejection that some queer youth face when they come out to bigoted religious family and can be read as metaphorical for that predicament.

Unfortunately, the series pulls a “bury your gays” moment yet again. It turns out that magical girls are only contracted so they too can turn into witches and so Kyubey can gather energy for his civilization based off this transformation. Sayaka, unable to cope with all the pain that comes with being a magical girl, turns into a witch when she becomes too filled with despair. Kyouko attempts to restore her original form but fails, destroying herself and Sayaka’s witch so that they can be together in death.

It's a sad ending for Kyouko and Sayaka, but it does strangely add more subtext to their relationship considering that they get to a point where they would literally die for each other. The song “And I’m Home” by Wowaka also plays after their deaths, which is a love song between the two of them expressing how despite their sadness, they’ve found safety in each other. During the song, a still image of them holding hands underwater, as if they’re drowning together, is pictured.

Madoka and Homura then become the couple most alluded to during the final 4 episodes of the series. Homura tells Madoka that an apocalypse-wreaking witch is coming to their town, and that she’s been going back in time using her magic to save Madoka from that witch, or to stop Madoka from becoming a witch herself.

Episode 10 is arguably the best episode of the series, where we see the various timelines Homura has lived through and how she bonds with Madoka every time. Madoka and Homura’s relationship during these periods are sadly brushed off as “friendship,” but Homura’s dedication to saving Madoka and Madoka’s willingness to die for Homura in several timelines alludes to something much deeper.

The best scene from this episode is by far when both Madoka and Homura are about to become witches and the two make a promise to destroy the world together as monsters. These two are perfectly willing to fall right beside each other, but when Madoka is able to save Homura from her fate at the last minute, Homura is forced to kill Madoka before she becomes a witch and reset again. The scene is heartbreaking and is really when Homura begins to drastically change compared to the other timelines.

Episode 11 features what’s basically Homura’s confession of love to Madoka, wherein she promises to keep Madoka safe at all costs and embraces her. When the giant witch finally attacks in episode 12, Madoka runs out into the ruins of the city to save Homura, and finally decides what to wish for to become a magical girl.

These final moments of episode 12 are particularly beautiful and filled with things that cannot be brushed away with simple friendship. Madoka wishes to erase witches, and through loopholes in the rules of the magical girl contract, is able to ascend to godhood and save every last magical girl from witch-hood. She basically rewrites the universe in her ideals but has to say goodbye to Homura as she leaves earth.

Madoka calls Homura her “very best friend” and gives Homura her hair ribbons to remember her by. Oh, and did I mention that during this time they’re hugging and naked in space? Yeah. Just gals being pals.

This ending is emotional, cathartic and gives a depressing series a strangely happy ending. Other than the naked space hugging (*suggestive eye raising*), it also summarizes the queer themes built up through the series.

The character Kyubey, an alien who uses these girls to his own advantage, manipulates them and profits off of their despair and personal trust. Many people have written about how he could be metaphorically read as an entitled man who views women as objects and resources to be used. Considering that queer women in today’s society are particularly marginalized due to how cishet men often feel entitled to fetishize and marginalize their gender and sexuality, the subtext in Madoka Magical also plays into this.

When Madoka finally manipulates and one-up’s Kyubey for a change, Kyubey is shocked because of what he doesn’t anticipate. From him predicting Kyouko’s death to his original contract with Homura, Kyubey has used the girls’ love for each other as a weapon against them as many straight men do towards queer and trans women. He doesn’t expect Madoka’s love for Homura and for her friends to win over him, and it creates a fantastic ending because of how Madoka’s love is literally able to rewrite the universe. Yeah, gay love saves the world.

One of the key ideas of the show is the relationship of hope and despair, but the emotion of love can easily be included in either, so even though Kyubey can tip the balance of hope and despair he is incapable of doing anything to the love the girls feel for each other. Though he can weaponize it, as shown by Madoka’s wish he is never fully able to erase it. What gives Madoka the hope to continue standing against Kyubey is nothing but the love she’s felt between herself and her (more than) friends.

The whole of Madoka Magica can even be read as Madoka’s coming out story. In the beginning, she’s shy and unsure of herself. Sayaka is blissfully ignorant to the pain of the world (metaphors for discrimination), and Mami is lonely because she’s set apart as a “magical girl.” Kyouko was also rejected due to religion.

The girls are eventually all taken by the whims of Kyubey and his need to use them, but even so they find solace in their relationships with each other. Madoka witnesses these events and gains a full understanding of what it means to be a magical girl, and instead of giving up, chooses to hope for a better world and actively change it.

But the story is also arguably about Madoka falling in love with Homura and gaining strength from the experience. In the end, she literally becomes a goddess when she embraces herself and defies Kyubey’s (and society’s) expectations.

Madoka Magica isn’t perfect. Bury your gays, and almost canon subtext are features that fall under queerbaiting and are somewhat problematic. Beneath it all, though, Madoka Magica is a great story about a group of queer girls of color opposing a system built against them. It’s got flaws, and more steps need to be taken so that the series improves in this manner, but Madoka Magica is a good start and I hope that the 4th Madoka movie will continue to improve its LGBT themes and perhaps even explicitly confirm the relationships.

Until then, I’d highly recommend Madoka Magica for its storytelling, animation, and it’s beautiful (if not perfect) queerness.

[blackfen]

Now Kiss!

first of many fix it fics that shall be used to soothe me sheith shipping heart <3

-

He was going to fucking drown himself in a scalding hot shower. That was the only way he could think of that might relieve just an iota of the absolute misery he was wallowing in. After that, he’d either die in an incredibly embarrassing position or actually grow the fuck up and force himself to, at least, project the façade that he was delighted for Shiro. He did want to be genuinely happy for him, so much so that he spent an ungodly amount of time ever since the announcement had been made, trying to convince himself that he was happy, how could he not be happy? His best and closest friend was getting to the love of his life and sure, it wasn’t him but that didn’t change the fact that Shiro was obviously happy so he should be happy too!

Thing is, repeatedly telling himself that didn’t change a fucking goddamn thing. Happy was the opposite end of the fucking ‘this is what Keith is feeling’ spectrum. It was so far away from where he currently stood that he couldn’t see a hint of it. As aforementioned, where he stood on that metaphorical spectrum was right smack middle in the ‘literally right on the verge of openly, violently weeping at any moment’ area. Pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, Keith sighed heavily. How could he not be happy? Well, the answer to that was pretty darn simple. Shiro was getting married tomorrow. To a good man, a man that Keith liked and got along well with, a man who made Shiro happy but point of the matter was, that man was not him.

It was his own goddamn fault, that he knew. He didn’t place any blame or anger on Shiro or Curtis. It was all his fault because he was an idiot coward who just kept his mouth tightly sewn shut for years. He was an ignoramus who thought it’d be fine, he was fine with just being friends, with just being by his side and that it was okay, as long as he was happy…it was all okay.

It was not fucking okay.

When Shiro started dating Curtis a couple years ago, Keith spent months agonizing over whether or not he should tell Shiro how he really felt. Obviously, he eventually decided against it. Why, he still had no idea. No…that was a lie, that was a big ass lie that he was telling himself right then. He knew why, he had a very clear picture of why he’d just watched from a distance, presenting this front of being someone completely and utterly unaffected by the fact that someone he loved for years was dating someone else. Because he was a goddamn coward. Absolutely terrified of actually vocalizing something he had hidden for years. Not to mention, it felt a little…wrong to bring those feelings to light when Shiro was involved with someone else.

So, he kept silence, and his distance. It was just easier that way. Wandered off into the massive universe with the Blades, moved up in the ranks, spent years helping everyone he could, growing, learning, and just generally experiencing the big wide open. Only to come back a few years later when an announcement was sent his way: he was invited to Shiro and Curtis’s marriage.

He had come so fucking close to saying that he couldn’t make it. That he was too far out and wouldn’t make it in time. He hadn’t, somehow he’d managed to restrain himself but he had come so close that he was still burning with a bit of shame. Now that he was actually here, having gone through the rehearsal dinner and an agonizing amount of time around the lovebirds, just how happy the two of them were unintentionally rubbed in his face, he kind of did wish he had thought up some kind of excuse to get out of this. It wasn’t good for his health. Mostly because if he kept feeling this guilty and ashamed, he might end up with a stomach ulcer.

Sighing heavily once more, Keith rolled over onto his side. He needed to grow up. Shiro was happy! He was getting married to someone he loved! This was good! Just because he didn’t take advantage of one of the many opportunities that had been given to him didn’t mean that he got to be an asshole. Well…secretly an asshole. Not like he’d ever let Shiro know just how much this was negatively affecting him. He might be selfish, but he wasn’t that selfish. No, he would just privately wallow, forcing big smiles and joyous laughs, convincing everyone…except for Pidge…and Hunk...that he was absolutely okay with all this.

Before that, though, a scalding hot shower was in his immediate future. So immediate that it was going to get started now. Rolling off the bed, groaning a little when his feet hit the floor, Keith started towards the bathroom, only to come to a startled halt when someone knocked on his door.

“Keith?” Shiro’s familiar voice called from the other side, “Are you awake?”

His first instinct was to call back in the negative, he was still very much awake and probably would not be sleeping at all tonight but just as the words were on the tip of his tongue, he hesitated. Was this a good idea? Was this actually a good idea now? He wasn’t exactly in the best state of mind right now so talking with Shiro, who probably wanted to discuss all the good times they had together and how happy he was that Keith was there to watch him get married, might not be the best idea. Conflicted, nervously shifting his weight around, Keith went through a brief, fierce internal discussion as he tried to figure out just what the fuck he wanted to do. Ultimately, the side that wanted silence, pretending to be asleep won out.

Guilt immediately pricked his heart but…he just couldn’t do it. Not now. He didn’t want to say anything that might ruin Shiro’s big day. Better to just swallow everything down, let it fester in his stomach until it developed into something nasty and let future Keith deal with those residual feelings. Shoulders slumping, Keith sighed for what felt like the tenth millionth time that night, and turned away, starting towards the bathroom once more. He’d hang around for a few minutes, maybe just sit on the floor and stare blankly into space for a while.

“Keith, please.”

The tone…the softness…the desperation in Shiro’s voice made him freeze. His breath got caught in his throat, creating a massive blob of oxygen that pressed against the linings. Slowly turning back around, Keith stared blankly at the door for a moment, distantly wondering if he was so stressed out by the whole thing that he was imagining things then his feet were moving, carrying across the room with no conscious effort from him. Reaching out, uncertainty and doubt squealing in the back of his mind, begging him to reconsider, to not do this to himself, that whatever Shiro wanted to talk about was not worth the mental strain that it was going to put on him, Keith gripped the doorknob, paused for just a moment then slowly, cautiously pulled open the door.

There stood Shiro, dressed only in a pair of sweatpants and a loose fitting tee. Immediately shifting over into ‘I am friend with no romantic feelings for you, dude’ mode, Keith offered a confused smile and managed to get out just, “Hey, Shiro, what’s-“ before a strong hand grabbed his shoulder, pushing him back into the room as Shiro surged forward. After that, everything moved remarkably fast. Sputtering in confusion, eyes stretched wide in surprise, Keith found himself being pushed down onto the bed, Shiro’s big hands cupping his face then with a short, sharp inhale, a warm, firm pair of lips pressed against his in a desperate, hungry kiss.

Too stunned to do much of anything other than just lie there, staring at the blurry mass that was Shiro’s face, Keith thought for just a moment that he had died. That he had actually taken that scalding hot shower, and just drowned in the bathtub since he couldn’t really think of any other explanation as to why in the fuck Shiro was suddenly kissing him. Then, a hot tongue pushed between his lips, spreading the taste of Shiro’s mouth into his – minty, someone had just brushed his teeth, and Keith jerked back to reality. It felt a little stupid to be realizing it right now, when there was a tongue actually in his mouth, but Shiro, who was set to get married tomorrow, was kissing him! Letting out a muffled yelp, he slammed his hands against Shiro’s beefy chest, shoving him backwards.

“What’re you doing?!” He yelled, more out of sheer shock than anger.

Panting hard, his broad shoulders heavily rising and falling, Shiro noticeably swallowed, producing an audible click. Leaning back, he brushed a hand through his short hair, eyes fluttering closed, and said softly, “Sorry, just-when I saw you, I was so overwhelmed that I lost control of myself for a moment.”

“What’re you talking about, Shiro?” Keith asked, mouth hanging open in a stupid gawk.

Opening his eyes to focus a calm, unflinching gaze on him, Shiro sucked in a deep breath, then began to slowly speak, “I agreed to go out with Curtis because I thought that I had no chance with you. I thought that your love was just for a brother, for a friend and I…” Shiro chuckled, a low raspy sound that came from somewhere deep in his throat, “I think I just wanted to get over you. I told myself that it’d never happen, that I should stop hoping for it and move on. So, when Curtis asked, I thought ‘this is it. This is your chance to move on’ so I agreed.”

“For a long while, it worked. Curtis is an incredible man. One who…who I wasn’t already in love with someone else, I would have genuinely fallen for. And…I think you not being there helped as well. It was easier to forget about how much I loved you when you weren’t by my side. I thought that I was over it. That I’d managed to shelve those feelings, and moved on. Then, he popped the question. I saw no reason to say no. The invitations were sent out, you said you were coming and I thought-“ Shiro paused, thick brows knitting together over a conflicted gaze, “I thought when we met back up for the first time in years, I’d be alright.”

“I wasn’t.” Shiro stated quietly, his voice so heavy that Keith was shocked it didn’t break the bed when those words came tumbling out, “Everything…everything I felt for you came back the moment I laid eyes on you. One instant, I was confident in my decision to get married to Curtis then in the very next, I wanted nothing more to,” Shiro chuckled again, “to do what I just did. I wanted nothing more than to just tell you everything.”

“Shiro-“ Keith whispered, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. Dead…he was actually dead, wasn’t he? This was all some fever dream while the Grim Reaper was slowly sucking his soul out of his dying body.

“I thought,” Shiro continued, cutting off whatever else he was going to say – not that he was sure there was any more, “that nothing had changed. You still saw me as your brother, your friend so I just swallowed everything down. Told myself that I had Curtis, that I was going to get married, so everything was okay but…nothing…nothing was okay. You being here shook me up more than I ever thought possible.”

“I’m sorry?” Keith mumbled, his head whirling.

Shiro slowly shook his head, “No, it’s not something you need to apologize for. It isn’t your fault.”

A heavy, tense silence fell over them. Keith stared at Shiro, his heart thundering so fast that he could feel the reverberations of each beat echoing through his body. Swallowing hard, his throat suddenly very dry, still able to feel Shiro’s lips on him and almost a little ashamed at how much he wanted Shiro to kiss him again, Keith hesitated for a moment then asked, “Why are you here then?”

“Hunk.” Was all Shiro said.

“Ah.” Was all Keith said.

Again, they fell into silence, one where neither one could tell what the other was thinking. Not that Keith was actually thinking anything. His thoughts were just a constant, steadily growing in volume repeat of what Shiro had just said. Same, same, same, same! A voice screeched with deranged gleefulness in the back of his head. Inexplicably, he was starting to feel a migraine coming on. Shifting gingerly, terrified to move around too much since there was a possibility that this was all just a hallucination and if he made physical contact, he might disappear in a poof of smoke, Keith said, “Hunk told you everything.”

“Yeah.” Shiro said softly, nodding stiffly, “Everything.”

“What about Curtis?” Keith asked hesitantly, not sure that he wanted to hear the answer.

“I’m here because of Curtis. I think…” Shiro sighed, “I think he’s always known. After Hunk confronted me with how you felt and told me that I was making a mistake, I was prepared to discard how I really felt. I was prepared to remain true to Curtis but when I got back to our room, he was already there. He told me that he overheard what Hunk said. He told me to go, that this…that,” Shiro’s gaze flickered up to settle an intense, raw stare on him, one that made him jump back slightly, “you are my happiness.”

All the breath whooshed out of his lungs in a long, raspy breath. Blinking rapidly, a weird ringing filling up his ears, Keith coughed, awkwardly cleared his throat and said in a strained voice, “Cool.”

The moment the word was out, scalding heat poured into his cheeks. Waving his head frantically, he tried to apologize, to explain that this was a whole lot more than just ‘cool’ but before he could say anything, Shiro burst out laughing. Pushing forward, he wrapped Keith up in a warm embrace, squeezing him close to a beefy chest. Keith hung limp in the circle of his arms for a moment before returning the embrace, anchoring himself to Keith’s bigger, broader body. Burying his face into Keith’s shoulder, he whispered, “I love you, Keith. I have for a really long time. I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you.”

“Y-you don’t need to apologize. I…I love you too, Shiro. I was just too scared to tell you.” Keith mumbled, pressing his burning cheek to Shiro’s broad shoulder.

“Hey, Keith, do you want to marry me?” Shiro whispered huskily into his ear, lightly kissing the patch of skin contacting his neck to his shoulder.

God, his face was going to turn into a fucking sun at this point. A immense emotion that was a mixture of relief, disbelief, jubilation and just a mishmash of other stuff that he didn’t have a name for but seemed good swelled up in his chest, pressing so hard against his heart and lungs that it was hard to breathe. Squeezing Shiro tightly, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, a sob lingering at the back of his throat, waiting for the perfect moment to burst forth, Keith shakily nodded, pushing his fingers through Shiro’s soft hair, and whispered, “Yeah, I do.”

[sigritandtheelves]

Surface

Rating: Teen/Mature Timeline: Season 6 Tags: angst, UST, developing relationship

This is a follow-up to the story “Drown,” and I think it will be a 4-part series all together, moving from seasons 5-8 (probably veering into s8 AU). You don’t need to have read the other story first, but it may help. No beta: sorry. CW for brief references to child death (canonical) and hints at something non-consensual (”Biogenesis”).

For @scully-eats-sushi who wanted more. 

_+_

In their sixth year together, the world seems conspiring to mock her with nightmarish gestations: a slimy umbilicus down her throat, vomited out onto a freezing metal grate; a monstrous eruption from a man’s chest in the desert; a backyard of unearthed infant corpses, thrown away like trash. And perhaps most painful, the cruel incubation of Mulder’s once-dead relationship with another woman, rekindled.

Still, she thinks, he tries. Drugged, he tells her he loves her and it is like a fist gripping her insides. She brushes it off, heart pounding, and he never brings it up again. A few weeks later, she tests him—mentions dogs and kids and houses—and he play-acts dumbfounded, as if what she suggests were the truly alien, and not this midnight goose-chase. She doesn’t need the suburbs. Doesn’t want them, even. But she aches for a shared space, for a heavy arm over her waist when she wakes and two coffee mugs in the sink before work. She wants the car to take them to a cabin by a lake, not to Area 51; she longs for its trunk to be full of sunscreen and sleeping bags instead of case notes and clandestine emails. Not every time: she doesn’t need it always. But sometimes the desire to not be alone is overwhelming.

Christmas will be hard for her, he knows, so he distracts her with a ghost hunt that turns more real than he’d expected. Afterward, she shows up at his door and they grin and gift to each other, and it’s the best holiday he’s had in years. Maybe since childhood. He senses that she’s opening to him again, and he’s almost brave enough to do something about it. He settles for a kiss to her temple, on pulling her head against his chest while snow falls outside and colorful paper litters his coffee table. She takes a deep breath, nose to his solar plexus, and he feels her relax. They fall asleep, curled into each other. She’s late to her mother’s house in the morning.

In another hospital she almost dies, and he breaks down at her bedside again without her knowing. He sobs into the sheet at her shoulder and wonders how long he can keep himself from her, from scooping her to him and turning away from the work and the darkness and the car that drives the endless road. “I’m sorry,” he whispers into her hospital gown. “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you need.” But she sleeps and sleeps and doesn’t hear. Later, when she’s awake, he toys with her thumb and tells her that maybe death only finds you when you seek its opposite. It’s his timid, cryptic way of acknowledging her desire for life, perhaps even her desire for him. It’s all he’s able to give that day.

Cassandra Spender re-appears, Diana Fowley wedges dangerously between them again, and the Syndicate burns. Two weeks later, seeking death’s cause and unwittingly finding its opposite, Scully delivers a baby during a hurricane and comes face to face, once again, with all the losses she’s tried to forget.

_+_

When the weather cleared, they drove the hour-long trek to the airport in soggy silence. Mulder sensed the weight of something—heavy—pressing between them, something besides the fiasco with Diana. Their flight was delayed, as were many others, because of the storms, so they sat uncomfortably in a crowded airport bar and grill. Mulder tugged at the two hanging drawstrings of his raincoat, wondering what he might have done to upset her. The star profiler, befuddled as usual by the complexities of his partner, blinded by his singular focus, was at a loss when he looked at her.

“Scully,” he said finally.

In a daze in front of her tuna melt and side salad, she at first didn’t respond. He said her name again and she looked up. “Yeah?”

“What’s up?”

Scully frowned, not knowing how to respond. What could she possibly say to him over bad food in a south Florida airport restaurant that could capture the thing that sat on her chest all day, every day? The men who’d kidnapped her, violated her, tried to kill her with cancer, created then murdered her child, and left her barren—almost all were all dead, but would never be brought to justice. She was entangled in a partnership with someone who would die for her, but who didn’t seem capable of intimate connection, unless it was with busty brunettes who worked for his enemies. And she’d spent the morning reliving in her head the miracle of childbirth that she’d witnessed first hand, trying to forget about the fact that it was a thing her body would never have a chance to do, no matter how much she wanted it. So she was running low on hope, running low on motivation. She poked at her salad and said, “Nothing, it’s fine.”

Her frown echoed back at her on Mulder’s face. “Scully, please. Talk to me.”

She considered briefly what he might do if she said all these things, though she was sure he knew them already. What he was asking for was a simple answer, and she had no such thing to offer. She shrugged. “It’s the same as ever, Mulder. I’m just...” she sighed. “I’m struggling to strike a balance between happiness in my work and being heartsick for all the things I’ve lost. Nothing new.” There. He could make of that what he would.

“You’re not happy in your work?”

Scully’s eyes closed and she shook her head. Of course that’s all he heard. “No, Mulder, I am happy in my work. I love what we do.” Flat, toneless.

“So, then…”

She wouldn’t help him; he could put together the other pieces on his own.

---

Perhaps out of some perverse misinterpretation of her distress, Mulder decided that playing house would be a good idea. The day after her birthday, they dressed in pastel and khaki to role-play in what felt like a vulgar mockery of what he seemed to think she wanted. “You know, you’d fit in really well here,” he said, and it was like an elbow in the kidney. He wouldn’t stop touching her, even once tried to kiss her, but it was all of it a cruel joke. She found herself slipping too easily into wanting to touch him back—a lingering pat on the hand, then her own fingers quickly jumping away when his eyes found her face. It could have been fun, she thought, this trash-monster suburban-horror case, but instead it just hurt. His eye-waggle as he patted the bed beside him—what would he have done if she’d wiped off her facemask and slid into that tiny space beside him? Or if she’d dropped her robe and straddled him right there, facemask and all? He’d have panicked and run, choked on his own innuendo.

But she didn’t want another case to end in awkward silence en route to an airport, so in their rented minivan on the way out of Arcadia, she spoke before the heaviness could settle between them.

“You know I’d never want to live in a place like that, don’t you? You can’t think I’d actually fit in there.”

“Why not, Scully? Nice houses, nice people…”

“Nice people?”

“Big Mike was nice.”

“Mulder, that place was like Stepford. What the hell makes you think I’d want that?”

“I…” but his mouth just hung open for a moment. “I don’t know,” he said. He was tired of guessing and being wrong.

“That’s not what having a life means to me, Mulder.” She was tired of his guessing and being wrong too.

“Then what…”

But he never finished the question, and she never answered.

---

He read Padgett’s “novel” in a state of both arousal and rage, the one feeding the other. How dare this man, this stranger, see her this way? How dare he be right when Mulder was always so wrong? She’d been sitting on his bed, goddamnit. About to fuck another killer, maybe, while Mulder waited for her two rooms away.

And then, “Agent Scully is already in love.”

Her face: inscrutable.

Later, in his arms, she sobbed like he’d never heard, and he squeezed her small body to him, desperate for the thump of her heart against his own. He rocked her, sat back on the floor to hold her closer yet. His hand went inside her shirt, up her back to feel her hot skin, to feel her heart beating from both sides of her ribcage. “You’re okay,” he whispered. “Shh, you’re okay. I’m here.”

“Mulder,” she whimpered into his chest, bloodying him everywhere and he didn’t mind. Of course her love was his, and how terribly uncareful he’d been with it, how stupidly, recklessly thoughtless. But then, how dangerous the pull of this thing now… He couldn’t help it. He kissed the top of her head and let himself feel, for once, the overwhelming current of his own love for her. When her breathing slowed, he cupped her face in his palms and kissed her mouth, just once, just briefly.

She looked at him with such vulnerability, he wondered if he’d made a mistake. How could he possibly shoulder the weight of that need? How could he give of himself to her, when he was needed in so many other ways? Rather than collapse under its burden and run, as he may have done months ago, he embraced it—embraced her, again. “I’m here,” he repeated, and he felt the shuddering heaviness of her sigh that emptied into his now-bloody shirt. Somewhere in his chest, something loosened. It was his death grip on the truth, he realized later, his fierce and desperate commitment to the Only Thing That Matters. And most surprising to him, he found that in the space created by that loosening grip, something else found its way in. Something like hope. Something like a future.

_+_

On a warm Saturday in April, he tries again not once, but twice. First in their office, he finds a lazy excuse to spend time with her—hurled clichés and a stolen mouthful of her frozen dessert, when he’d rather taste her mouth. They’re going to kiss, he knows it; he can feel it in his toes like the moments before a sneeze. But then he spots an out for himself, and, coward that he is, he runs again. He leaves her disappointed with melted sugar on her hands.

Second try: evening. Stars in the sky, the smell of suede from her jacket, the feel of her ass against his hips, crack! crack! of the bat, and she is giggling again, god help him. This is the best he’s ever felt. He is beginning to get it, he thinks: together like this, it hurts less. Maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t need to torture himself like some ascetic in order to deserve his victories. Maybe, just maybe, love makes him stronger instead of an easy target. In the parking lot he kisses her again, a real kiss this time, with one hand tucked into the curve of her waist and another in her hair. He is weak-kneed with want for this woman. Her mouth opens under him and he groans into it. How could he have known it would feel like this? It scares him and he lets her go. She lays her palm to his chest, closes her eyes for a moment, then gets in her car and drives away.

In shared hallucination, they recognize their codependency, their perfect complementarity. Hand to muddy hand across a bouncing ambulance car, they confirm their faultless symmetry.

And then he is sick, is hearing voices, is collapsing in a stairwell. She calls him and hears the worst thing, the very worst: that other woman’s voice that says “Fox” in that breathy way. She asks, but he won’t say who’s there, just tells her it’s okay (it is decidedly not okay; she knows who is there). He hangs up on her and then the other woman is suddenly naked and climbing into bed with him and he tries to tell her no, but his head hurts so so badly and he can’t stop any of this and he wants to cry out for his partner and feel her cool hand on his head, but he can’t, and then there is darkness.

When Skinner calls her “Dana,” she knows it is very bad. She learns, none too subtly, that the other woman was with him in the night. He screams her last name, his always-cry of desperation, and he can see himself through her eyes, through the fuzzy gray monitor, but he can’t hear her thoughts alone through all the terrible noise.

Then, as he did for her, she is flying across the world to save him. She is standing in warm sand (not ice) on a spaceship that is, though she does not know it, knitting her inner scars back together into smooth flesh, that is healing healing her, deep on the inside where what she thought she’d lost comes back awake. She is learning the secrets of all life’s origins while, inside her, originating cells come back to life.

-end-

[buttercookie-art]

Disclaimer: I’m just a fan. Not a critic or a reporter, this is not my job.

Here’s the review you guys asked. Enjoy!

This time I’ll try and write a review like a normal person, without listing the things I liked and the ones I didn’t. Mostly because the things I didn’t like are spoilers and cause I genuinely liked this movie? Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy vol1 are the best MCU movies in my humble opinion and I think Infinity War is very close to them. The CGI is great most of the time, the shots look good, it’s a dark movie but it still has plenty of colours. They managed all the major characters we’ve seen in these past 10 years perfectly fine; you can see major development in some of them. The interactions are funny and the “teams” get along very well. Talking about funny… The movie is a very dark movie, filled with tension and seriousness. For once, the Disney jokes are useful: they help lighten the mood, otherwise it’d be too serious and tedious.  As the Russo Bros already told us, there are some major characters deaths, can’t really talk about it, but brace yourselves: your favourite character it’s most likely to be one of them. Talking about deaths, I can’t help but write a few words about Thanos. We’ve been waiting for him, fearing him. Mostly because the previous villains weren’t that good, exception made for the latest ones. Usually, the villain is that character that is bad and never steals the show of the good ones. Thanos is an exception. He is powerful, has his charm (even though he looks like a smashed grape) and you can easily understand his point of view. At some point I was surprised I agreed with him. The best villain so far, hands down. Not to mention the Black Order: we’ve seen them in the trailers and just like Thanos they’re powerful and ready to follow his orders. Honourable mention to Bruce Banner character development, it was really good to see him in certain situations. Also, the Stan Lee cameo: very funny; won’t tell anything about it but it’s one of my favourites so far! And all the battle scenes: they were very good, never messy, all clean shots, very enjoyable!  That being said, I can state the end of this movie will leave you in a state of shock and if you’re wondering if this is a part one of two, well, go see the movie and you’ll find out.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Let’s start from the beginning i.e. the opening scene: we all supposed it’d be Thanos killing all the Asgardians and we were all right. Thanos knew Loki had the Tesseract and went to claim it. Loki. Some of us knew he was gonna perish, I was certain about it myself, but couldn’t help and cry when Thanos actually did it. He died as a hero, you can’t change my mind. During the movie I got scared more the once some character would’ve died but I never thought they could actually do what they did.  I knew Vision was one of those who was going to leave us because he has one of the stone on his head. I never expected Gamora to die, it genuinely shocked me. It also scares me because they confirmed Gotg vol 3 and I can’t imagine seeing a mourning Quill in it.  Her death leads me to another character, an old acquaintance if you don’t mind: Red Skull. When I heard his voice and his thick German accent I had some trouble recognising him and when I did, before he took out the hoodie I couldn’t believe it. Yeah, it makes sense he’s there, “mentoring” Thanos about the Soul stone; but if they brought him back just for this scene it’d be a little of a disappointment. Still one of the best twist of the movie, alongside the end of the movie. End of the movie that left me staring at the rolling credits wondering what am I gonna do with my life. I assumed Thanos collected all the stones and won but him actually wiping out half universe just with a snap? Nope, didn’t see that coming. Nor the actual deaths. Seeing Bucky, Falcon and Wanda go was pure pain. Also, her smiling, thinking she’s meeting Vision again was heartbroken. But the fact that Black Panther, Strange and Peter died too gives me a little bit of hope; they’re the new ones and there are their solo movies coming up. Yes, Peter death was horrible, half of this forsaken website predicted it (me included, even though I didn’t want to believe it); him holding on to Tony crying he didn’t want to die was a punch in the stomach and felt like someone put their hand into my chest and ripped off my heart. Same thing when he said sorry and then vanished.  I’m going to lighten everybody’s mood by mentioning Bucky and Rocket teaming up, even if only for a very brief time. Loved the interaction and Rocket asking how much Bucky was willing to earn for his arm, first, then assuring he was gonna steal it anyway. Team-ups are great! Loved the Guardians + Tony, Strange and Peter; Thor, Groot and Rocket were great; I expected a little bit more from Team Wakanda but maybe it was me.  As you can imagine I’m livid at the absence of Clint (and Ant-Man), but it was a clever decision. This threw away all my theories about him or his family dying. Not really though, cause there’s still Avengers 4 and I don’t think Clint will be Ronin without that backstory. That’s why I think Avengers 4 will be even bigger than Infinity War.  In conclusion, the post-credit scene: Nick Fury and Maria Hill are back on business, gave me a hint of hope that got killed 0.2 seconds after but… Captain Marvel is coming to help us all!

P.S.: The Cloak of Levitation is still one of my favourites  

[geraltcirilla]

Exploring Karen’s Past

In this post I’m going to be going over things we know about Karen from details dropped in Daredevil canon, looking at what cast have said about her past, and her comic origins to hypothesize where the show might be going with her.

This will be under a cut because it gets quite long.

All the things we know about Karen so far in the MCU canon:

She was from a small town of Fagan Corners, Vermont that had around 400 people. (2x05)

Her parents are Penelope and Paxton Page.

She was on the basketball team in high school. (1x07)

Her brother Kevin Page died in a motor vehicle accident at the age of sixteen. According to the news article: At about 1:40 pm, Kevin Page was driving his car. While heading east on Vermont Route 12 from the hill Road exit ramp off Interstate 89 Page veered off the roadway into a chain-linked fence. The responding medical services sent his body to Windler Medical Center where he was pronounced dead on arrival. It took some time before the state police was able to resolve the investigation of the incident. The article was titled “Mystery Accident Causes Teen Fatality”. (2x09)

Karen says her brother wasn’t good and tying ties so she used to do it for him. When asked what he was like by Matt she said "Uh, he's sweet. He's a good brother.” (2x04)

When Wesley asks her if she loves New York she replies “I haven’t been here long enough.” (1x11)

She appears to have no friends or relationships outside of Matt and Foggy. She does not appear to be in contact with her family.

"Do you really think this is the first time I've shot someone?" Karen to Wesley (1x11)

When discussing her past with Ben and the information he uncovered on her: "Stories like this are built on sources, Miss Page. Credible sources. I did some digging into your, uh past activities.” (1x04) / "And who'll believe me when they start digging? When they find what you found when you were looking into me." (1x12) / “Look, Ben didn't care, and I don't, either." (2x09) / “Although, you know, why you'd wanna see good in the man who pulls the trigger is beyond me.” (2x10)

Things cast have said regarding Karen’s past:

Deborah Ann Woll noted that Page's backstory would be different than the one from the comics. source

"There’s something that happened in Karen’s past — we allude to it, Ben alludes to it — and when she grabs the gun she says, “You think this is the first time I’ve ever shot somebody?” That's a secret from her past that she doesn’t want anyone to know. The fact that she shot him once, you can explain that as self-defense; but then she pretty much unloaded the gun into him. That crosses a bit of a line. The last thing she would want is for those two to be horrified by what she’s done." -- Steven Deknight, showrunner of Daredevil season 1. source

Karen’s story in the comics:

Her family was well-off.

She graduated with a 3.8 GPA from the University of Vermont.

Her father became the super villain Death’s Head, who fought Daredevil and ultimately died saving Karen’s life.

She begins making pornographic movies while hooked on heroine.

She is ultimately killed by Bullseye.

MCU vs Comics

Karen does not have a brother in the comics.

In high school Karen was on the cheer squad in the comics but the basketball team in the MCU.

Where in the MCU she has a dark past, in the comics she has an innocent past but a grim and ultimately tragic future.

In both the MCU and comics Karen’s relationship with Matt dissolves after he reveals his identity as Daredevil.

In MCU Karen leaves Nelson & Murdock to become a journalist, in the comics she leaves Nelson & Murdock to become a film actress.

In the comics: Karen grabbed Bullseye's gun and threatened to kill him, but Bullseye was not scared because he knew his gun was not loaded. / In Marvel’s Daredevil: Karen grabbed Wesley’s gun, who claimed he wouldn’t have left a loaded gun on the table within arms reach of Karen She shoots him and it turns out the gun was loaded, and he dies.

Things the MCU has not confirmed yet:

The age difference between Karen and her brother Kevin.

When Karen moved to New York from Vermont.

Breakdown

Although it was confirmed Karen’s story will be different in the show versus in the comics, we can assume writers will take inspiration from the comics and borrow some ideas. Throughout Daredevil, Defenders and Punisher we have seen that the writers don’t ignore the comics, they simply take inspiration and let the character grow from there. So I don’t think it’s wise to entirely disregard the comics in our own theories. We can use them as a starting point and go from there.

For example, we can assume Karen and Wilson Fisk will have a confrontation in Daredevil season 3. If Wilson finds out Karen killed Wesley he’ll likely want revenge, and might hire Bullseye to kill her. The show won’t actually kill her like the comics do but I can see them psyching us out to think she was going to die and severely injuring her in the process. In this way they are both faithful to the comics but have created their own unique story, which is really what the MCU is all about.

We can use the same logic and apply it to her past. Take a little bit of the comics, use the knowledge we have from the show, add a bit of reasoning and you can piece together what might have happened.

A common theory I’ve seen is that Karen killed her brother, whether intentionally or unintentionally, from what she had told Wesley about shooting a man and what we know about Kevin being dead. This is unlikely as her brother died in a car accident. But that doesn’t mean Karen hasn’t shot someone before. The wrong thing to do is assume every time Karen discusses her past, she is talking about the same singular traumatic event. I believe multiple things happened to Karen and her brother’s death was the instigation of it all.

Hypothesis of Karen’s timeline

We can start by assuming Karen had a normal happy childhood with her upper class wealthy family (starting where the comics did). She was close with her brother, close enough to tie his ties for him. (We can assume they were close in age due to this, but more on that later.) She was on the high school basketball team and she was a “mean three-point shooter”. Then her brother dies in a MVA at the age of 16. This is the beginning of Karen’s downward spiral.

The circumstances surrounding the death of described as “mysterious” in the news article. At the time the article was written the death was still unsolved, which is strange considering it was a single car crash into a chain-link fence, what’s there to be confused about? How is that so hard to piece together? Ultimately the police were probably puzzled as to how the car crashed in the first place if no one else was involved. Car accidents usually involve two people unless the one person is altered level of consciousness from drugs or alcohol and simply drove themself into a wall. But we can assume Kevin’s blood work was clean because if this was the case the death would not be mysterious, the investigation would not have taken so long to wrap up, and the title of the article would be “Intoxicated Teen in Tragic Accident”.

Everything surrounding Kevin’s death is strange but we can assume Karen had nothing to do with it. A) She’s only a teenager herself at the time, B) The news article does not mention a sister or another person involved in the crach, and C) Karen is presumably incredibly close with her brother, so close that to this day he is still a sore subject for her (despite several years having gone by since then). She cries when she sees his news article and lies to Matt that he is alive by using present-tense when describing him. But if Kevin’s death was strange and Karen wasn’t involved, who was and what happened?

This is where I introduce Karen’s father, who we know nothing about in the show: Paxton Page. In the comics he is the villain Death’s Head. Brief run-down: He was a scientist who created the cobalt bomb, refused to sell it to the US government, was branded a traitor, continued to work on it in secret, went insane because of the radiation, developed superpowers and fought Daredevil, and died saving Karen from a molten cobalt spill. Remember, to figure out what the MCU’s truth is you take what the comics give you and you adjust it to the universe of Daredevil. So let’s assume in Daredevil Paxton is still a villain, just not insane and super-powered from radiation. A villain more suited for the “real world” of the MCU. Paxton would be evil in the Fisk or Wesley sort of sense: manipulative, self-serving, megalomaniac. And let’s say he is a scientist and is working on weapons for the government (or a private contractor) (which is why he is wealthy). He’s evil not because because he can project fireballs, but because he doesn’t care who his weapons hurt as long as he is paid. If Karen’s father is a villain or shady we can probably connect Kevin’s death to him. Either Paxton was directly responsible for Kevin’s death because Kevin found out what his father was doing and was going to rat on him, or the government/private contractor Paxton was working for killed him as revenge for Paxton not sharing his “new weapon” with them (the cobalt bomb, or in the show something different.)

Moving on. So what happens to Karen after Kevin’s death? I believe Karen took Kevin’s death harder than anyone in her family because of the tiny hints we are given throughout seasons 1 and 2 of Daredevil to how close they were. (She said she tied his ties for him as kids and she is still raw over his death years later as she A) weeps at seeing the news article of his death and B) inadvertently lies to Matt that he is still alive by describing him as “sweet” and a “good brother” in present-tense.) When siblings are close it’s usually because they are close in age, so I think it’s fair to assume Karen and Kevin are either Fraternal or Irish twins. 

This is where I go back and reference Karen’s darkest history in the comics: the heroine addiction and pornography. I think the writers will dabble with this a bit, but not to the extremes of the comics. Karen’s downward spiral in the comics comes after she moves to LA to pursue a career in acting, which happens in her future. Like I said before in the show, the darkest part of Karen’s life happened in the past. If acting wasn’t the instigation it was no doubt the death of her brother. This especially makes sense because the brother didn’t even exist in the comics, so he was invented specifically for the show and specifically to be a key piece of Karen’s dark and mysterious past.

So her brother dies, right? And she’s devastated, her whole world is over, and she is just 16 herself. What happens when 16 year olds think their life is over? They act out. Drugs, drinking, partying, etc. (We know Karen can hold her liquor from Daredevil.) She’s probably going to try and escape from her realty through drugs, but not something hard like heroine from the comics. Something a teenager could get at a party like ecstasy or other pills. (Once again taking an idea from the comics and watering it down with a spin that would fit in the current verse the writers are working in.) And what happens when a teenage girl is getting fucked up at a party without anyone looking after her? Boys are going to try and prey on her. It would be so easy for teenage Karen to find herself in a situation where someone is trying to hurt her or rape her because she is vulnerable. But we all know Karen will do whatever it takes to protect herself. Cue her shooting some fuckboy to death after he tries to attack her. This is her killing a person in her past without making her a murderer (which would be inconsistent with her characterization).

Ben and Karen had discussed twice in season one how her past made her an unreliable witness to Fisk’s crimes. So it’s something you can easily find doing a background check but nothing so illegal it would get her into trouble. Just hurt her reputation. But it’s also something neither Ben nor Ellison care about, so likely something they can sympathize with. I think a rich little party girl drunk as shit killing someone in self defense as right about fits that narrative, doesn’t it? Hell, add in Karen having been suicidal at the time (Ingredients: just lost an immediate family member + only a child + probably a drug and alcohol problem = recipe for suicidal ideation) or even attempting suicide and all her credibility as a witness goes out the window. It’s not right or fair but it’s how the world treats depressed people--they aren’t trustworthy or reliable. And you can bet your ass Fisk would’ve spun the hell out of this story if she took a swing at him on her own.

This is not necessarily saying that’s exactly what happened and why she shot someone, but I’m pretty confident her brother’s death and the possible shooting are not related and are in fact two separate incidences. I’m also pretty sure whoever Karen shot, it was done in self defense.

So if all of this stuff had happened to Karen (hypohetically) it would make sense why she would leave Vermont and move to New York to reinvent herself. She’s running away from her past.

Conclusion

That’s about all that I got at the moment. I just wanted to introduce some ideas I thought people could mull over that they hadn’t been thinking about before when it comes to Karen. 

Her father is a villain in the comics.

Her “killing” someone in her past is a different incident than her brother’s death.

That multiple events could have happened to her in succession rather than one single event.

Her brother’s death is the instigation to the chain of events that has her leave Vermont and cut off ties with her parents.

[icebreaker01]

Season 2 Predictions

Yeah, yeah, I know.  Why Season 2 predictions when season 2 is over?

Actually, I posted this over on site ‘runbyidiots’ (you figure it out) pre-E6.  I just wanted to add it to my page for the heck of it.

WARNING!!! Not many spoilers ahead, mostly predictions. But I’ve been known to be pretty accurate. (Please be aware the author of this article is a hopeless romantic and will not make a single apology for it.)

So, countdown at somewhere around 48 hours before we get our favorite little dictator with a heart back.  (Pauses to wave a Melanie Rules!!! flag.) When we last left our intrepid little explorer, Melanie was high-tailing it off that sinking ship.  I mean, honestly, the way Layton is mismanaging things, I think she stands a better chance at the research station. But that’s for another post. Folks, have you ever spent time alone?  I mean really A.L.O.N.E.?  Where you can sit in a chair and listen to a clock ticking? Now do it for 30 days.  You’re bound to start having a few issues. OK, granted, Melanie has things to do and she’s sort of a loner anyway.  And she’s good with imaginary friends.  I mean, she had Wilford as one for seven years, right? What I believe we are going to get here, after a stinking long dry spell (OK, it’s only been one episode, but it feels like F-O-R-E-V-E-R!) a lovely plate loaded down with Melanie Cavill insight handed to us in this episode.  The really good part is we are also likely to get treated to around 50 minutes of Jennifer Connelly doing what Jennifer Connelly does best.  Acting.  And all without the messy interruptions of a bunch of side dishes of ‘who cares’. Yes, folks, it’s time for a Melanie-centric episode! Folks, I am so excited about this episode I could run right over to the script writers and kiss each and everyone of them right on the lips! And on a quick side note, I would like to point out that the ‘Goodbye.  See you in a month.’ between Melanie and Bennett had all the spark of opening a can of peas. Meanwhile, over on the Melanie/Layton ‘Goodbye’ front........... Anyway......, So poor Melanie is setting up house at the research station.  We will forego nasty questions here like ‘Where is the power coming from?’  Maybe one of those sleds was a portable generator.  Or ‘Why, after seven years, do you expect one piece of useful equipment to be left?  What’s the back up plan if its under ten feet of snow?  What if you can’t get inside?’ (Sighes) Who knows?  I didn’t see episode two....or three.......or most of season one for that matter. But we do know that she did get in, as that she tapped that first weather balloon, and the previews for Episode 6 say so.

And speaking of which.... We weren’t given a lot in that preview.  It was, in fact, the most uninformative 21 seconds of my life.  Mostly we know Melanie has a nice little calendar on the wall, is counting down the days until that rolling train wreak Layton is turning it into returns, and occupies her free time hallucinating.  But we are also getting a lot of Jennifer Connelly acting screen time, so I don’t care.  Honestly, the woman could walk on stage, stand there for 50 minutes, walk off, and I would still give her a standing ovation. Moving on. Back on that sinking ship (AKA Snowpiercer), we have....a mess, folks.  Lets be honest.  Layton currently has more issues than National Geographic.  His top head shrinker/new age guru and author of ’The joy of kinky sex’ is gone, he just lost most of his repair crew (the Breechmen), his own people are likely to get blamed for this, since, although most of the murders seemed to be done when no one else was around, everyone still felt it necessary to wear masks, his favorite whining board is not around (AKA Melanie), and he’s off half the time playing the proud papa, which the general consensus is, he’s not. Honestly folks, I like Layton.  I really do.  But I swear, if he doesn’t pick that lady back up, I will personally kick his butt off that train, because he seriously needs some help.  And that help is spelled with every letter of that woman’s name. And can we PLEASE stop jumping all over poor Audrey, folks?  She did not desert.  Even though she has every right to. Audrey was given a job to do.  She didn’t get it done.  Walking back over to Snowpiercer, she sees all heck breaking loose and realizes she needs to stay because they need that comm link up now more than ever.  So she makes a perfect turn on those killer six inch heels, and bravely walks back into BA. Ruth, you get some polite golf applause for just staying put and lying to the passengers.  WHICH WAS, as I recall, something you sentenced your best friend to death for a few episodes back....hmmmmm, Ms. Wardell? Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....or in this case, the front of the train, poor Bennett and Javi are freaking out because there is no contact between Melanie and the weather balloon. (Bad spoilers ahead) Yes, folks, up until now it has been pretty much just a wrap up of Episode 5.  But here we go with predictions for Episode 6.  So if you don’t want to know (or don’t care), stop now. So poor Bennett and Javi are wondering what’s up with Melanie.  However, over in my little box of things I’ve dug up on the internet, there is mention of a new cast member coming in season 3. Archie Panjabi is joining the cast as Asha; a nice new playmate for Melanie. OK, if she is going to be Melanie’s new best friend, she’s no slacker.  Girl’s gotta have something going on upstairs because our girl Melanie only swings with the smart kids.

(Random act insert) (Hand goes up in the back) (Sighs)  Yes? (Random reader stands up)  Then why do you keep insisting she will go for Layton?  Half the time he is about two logs short of a fully loaded steam engine? Because she is not interested in his brains!  SIT! DOWN! (OK.  I’m done) Anyway...... Back to Asha.  If she’s a fairly intelligent person, and she was on the train, she would have shown up by now.  Because heaven knows, they need all the smart people up front they can get on this show. Hence, she has to come from off the train.

Now, Melanie going to the weather station and just pinging weather balloons just ain‘t much of an exciting story line, folks.  And they keep hinting all over the internet some big additional plot confusion is developing out of the weather station storyline.  If it does not, I will be leaving a whole lot of nasty comments on people’s webpages for misleading information. So, out at weather station BFE (Go look it up, folks), Melanie is going about her happy little work while she is also being observed.  The people watching her are subterranean dwellers who survived the freeze by going underground and utilizing thermal vents in the earth. Look, surely Wilford wasn’t the only person with a plan, right?  I mean, it looks pretty sad for the human race if he was, folks. So, after ascertaining what she’s there for, and is no real threat to them, Melanie finds herself surprise adopted (AKA kidnapped) by this new group.  They discover she from that colossal group of idiots on the train to nowhere and decide she is better off with them because she has all the qualifications to join them.  Namely, at least two functioning brain cells. Melanie, having decided that even dirt falling off of Snowpiercer lowers the general IQ level overall, feels she needs to get back to save her train. Meanwhile, this new little society isn’t all its cracked up to be and we have a potential season 3 deserter - Asha. Back at the ranch (Snowpiercer), Melanie barely makes her rendezvous with the train.  From the looks of the preview (and boy, was it a brief glimpse), there is a possibility Wilford will make an attempt to not stop the train for her.  Or that’s just me hoping for a big romantic rescue scene.  I mean, at this point I will take anything to get even a shred of hot romance on this show.  I would even take a romantic rescue with Javi leading the charge.  ANYTHING!

Where things are likely to go: 1.  Layton is just greasing the rails on heading down track to becoming the very thing he fought against. 2.  Yet another real world metaphor will be inserted courtesy of the Headwoods in paralleling their experiments with those of the Nazi’s and 'was it all worth it as people benefited from it'. 3.  No one else needs to die this season as that we just had a whole shiiiiii...........train car load of people die in Episode 5. 4.  The only real romance we will ever see in this story is likely to be Josie and Icy Bob.  And I’m good with that, because at this point I will take anything I can get.  I’ll even take the two Aussie’s, which are currently the only things firing up the engines on those two trains. 5.  The writers will finally stop back shadowing off of season 1 and come up with something original again.  Ruth having to do the very thing she accused Melanie of doing was the last one of those I am going to take, folks.  Just STOP IT! 6.  Alex will defect to Snowpiercer.  This was STRONGLY hinted at in previews.  That and it’s just so darned obvious. 7.  WIlford dies.....because I have to be right about something, and its a sure bet.  Sean Bean’s characters always die.

[ofviictories]

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