Guys.
Y’all.
I…
I just. I just… i have discovered something. And I have laughed too much. I have laughed every time I have tried to explain it to someone. I cannot get through this.
Look. Okay.
There are two things you need to know, here.
First: There’s a style of Greek pottery that was popular during the Hellenic period, for which most of the surviving examples are from southern Italy. We call them ‘fish plates’ because, well, they’re plates, and they’re decorated with fish (and other marine life).
Like this one, currently in the Met:
Or this one, currently in the Cleveland Museum of Art:
They’re very cool. We’re not 100% sure what they were for, because most of the surviving ones were found as grave goods, but that’s a different post.
The second thing you need to know is that when we (Classics/archaeology/whatever as a discipline) have a collection of artefacts, like vases, sculptures, paintings, etc. and we do not know the name of the artist, but we’re pretty sure one artist made X, Y and Z artefacts, we come up with a name for that artist. There are a whole bunch of things that could be the source for the name, e.g. where we found most of their work (The Dipylon Master) or the potter with whom they worked (the Amasis Painter), a favourite theme (The Athena Painter), the Museum that ended up with the most famous thing they did (The Berlin Painter) or a notable aspect of their style. Like, say, The Eyebrow Painter.
Guess what kind of pottery the Eyebrow Painter made?
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Jason to Bruce privately in the Cave: “That was the stupidest decision I’ve ever seen you make. Do you really think they’re going to want to be your friends once they find out the truth? If you could unclench for ONE minute this all could’ve been avoided—”
Jason at the Justice League meeting on the Watchtower ten minutes later: “If anyone even LOOKS at Batman I’ll rip their throat out. None of you fuckers understand how many favors he’s doing your sorry asses. If you’re too stupid to listen to Batman, that’s your prerogative. He’s the only thing keeping this damn satellite in ORBIT—”
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Plan A: Have the responsible 24 year old drive
Plan B, because the 24 year old cannot currently drive: Have the 12 year old from NEW YORK drive
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Danny Phantom was such a stupid and frustrating show because they'd use a weird random moment to dump some of the wildest lore on you and then NEVER touch it again. Oh yeah there was a group of ancient ghosts strong enough to seal away the literal manifestation of war and brutality but anyway here's a fart joke. Sure there's a syndicate of living (?) eyeballs that manipulate existence from the sidelines and also a ghost that's a literal god of time but who cares about that when we can joke about being a vegetarian. A billionaire made his fortune because he literally got ghost powers in college in a horrible disfiguring accident and he's making clones of his ex-friend's son because he so bitterly alone but whatever here's five jokes about the Green Bay Packers and we're gonna turn that dude into a running gag now.
The Ghost Zone is alluded to be fucking alive but we're never gonna talk about it because uh
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De-Aged Danny, gesturing to a dazed Bruce inside Wayne Manor: And this is Bruce! Otherwise known as the Himbo!
Reporters: Hmm, yes, interesting...
Bruce: What the-
Danny: I'm not sure what that word means. I heard it from Dick, but no one will give me my answer, not even Jason, who is easily bribed.
Bruce: Why are there reporters in my house!?
Danny, innocent and childlike: They asked to come inside, Bruce! They seemed like really nice people, so I thought it'd be polite to give them a tour.
Bruce, filled with infinite patience: I really wish you had asked me before you did that, chum.
Danny: But why? We don't have anything to hide... do we, Bruce?
Or, in order to rise to the Ghost Throne, Danny has to complete a series of trials to prove he is capable of ruling (or any other reason, Danny just needs to do trials to prove himself).
The last trial, issued by Clockwork, is thus: discover the Wayne Family secret in two weeks without the use of any of his powers.
He has one shapeshift to pick a form that could endere him to the Waynes, but only one before he starts and he has to get close to the family by his own wits. Danny, after studying the family and reading of one sentence summary of each Wayne, picks the body of a six-year-old little boy that looked like a child Jason Todd.
Bruce: That child is up to something.
Dick, third favorite: I don't know, Bruce; he acts like a normal kid.
Jason, #1 favorite: I doubt the old man's ever met a normal kid.
Tim, least favorite: Bruce is right, but can you please not talk like the villains from Chicken Run.
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