#at least i get to keep my funny little badges

[humanimalgam]

the boops are gone i'm so sad. it was fun while it lasted :'3

[freedomfireflies]

iFall For Harry

Part Two to this request!

Summary: Turns out, the stranger in your phone is kind of funny...

...and kind of sexy, too.

Oh, my god. 

Harry, did you hear the news?

It takes exactly three and a half minutes for those familiar little bubbles to pop up.

Well hello to you, too. 

No, what happened?

You struggle to contain a rather giddy grin as you begin to type, A cheese factory exploded in France!

Wait, really? Shit, what happened?

I don’t know. But all that was left was…de brie.

Exactly sixty seconds pass before he begins to type.

Fuck.

I think I just snorted. 

That was…goddammit that was good.

You don’t even know what he looks like, but you chuckle at the idea of him laughing so hard he can’t help but snort.

Thank you, thank you. 

Took me two weeks to come up with that.

I’m impressed. 

Little offended, too.

Oh? Your heart sinks.

Yeah. 

Kept me on the edge of my seat for two fucking weeks wondering if I’d hear from you again.

Shit. 

You smirk to yourself as you flop down onto your sofa and think through a response.

Hey, it takes two to tango, pal. You could have texted me, too.

The bubbles make your heart pound.

Alright, that’s fair. 

In my defense, I didn’t have any more cheese puns.

Oh, is that all this is, then? 

You just use me for dad jokes?

Psh, nooooooo…

Then, another text.

Although, the jokes do make my days…cheddar.

 You laugh a little louder, suddenly very aware of the flush in your face over some stranger in your phone. 

No, wait. How do I erase a text?

I hated that. 

Seriously, how do I make it go away? 

My failure is staring me in the face, and I hate it.

You giggle under your breath.

Easy, Grandpa. 

Relax, just press down until the options pop up.

The conversation goes quiet for a brief moment before you watch his previous text vanish from the screen with a dramatic, poof!

Then, he begins typing again.

Hold on… 

Did you just call me Grandpa?

…psh, noooooooo

Oh, so that’s how it is?

That’s how it is.

Wow, and we had such a nice thing going, too.

To be fair, you never told me your age, and you don’t even know how to delete a text. 

What am I supposed to think?

First of all: rude. 

Respect your elders.

Second of all: this deleting shit is NEW, okay, and I just updated my phone, like…a week ago, so I never learned. 

Uh-huh. 

No, yeah, whatever you say, Grandps.

He responds with the emoji that’s rolling its eyes.

You smirk.

For your information, I’m 29.

Okay, which is a cool, hip, fun, and very fresh age.

Yes, I believe that’s the slogan for the retirement home, too. 

“We’re cool, we’re slick, and we might break a hip.”

There’s a longer pause between your text and his response. You hope it’s because he’s laughing. It’s not your best work, but you think it’s funny.

And then, you get the notification.

Dammit, that place sounds so much cooler than the retirement home I’m in now. 

Send me the address? I’ll wheel myself over.

You got it, Old Man. Will you need any help crossing the street?

How thoughtful of you. Yeah, that’d be great, and then you can finally earn your Girl Scout badge.

Oh, my God. How did you know it was the last one I needed?

Cause I’m old. And therefore wise.

Oh, right, right. No, that checks out.

Yeah. 

You lean back, forcing your eyes away from your phone to finally get a moment of reprieve from the excessive smiling. Why is this so fun?

I guess 29 isn’t so bad. Just…three years older than me.

Ah, another piece to the Cheese Girl puzzle. 

You’re 26.

Indeed.

26 was fun. 

I liked 26.

Yeah, it’s not too bad so far.

Just wait until your bones start to creak whenever you get out of bed.

I’ll keep a can of oil on my nightstand.

You grimace to yourself. Your worst joke to date, and you just hope you haven’t blown it.

Probably smart. 

My preferred method is lube, but…

Whatever works.

Your eyes widen.

Oh?

Yeah.

 My bones might creak but at least I can still fuck.

Well…shit.

You readjust your position on the sofa, desperately working to find a cool and relaxed and equally mysterious reply.

…so, no pressure.

Just be careful with all that lube. 

Wouldn’t want you to slip and fall.

Hope you’ve got Life Alert on speed dial.

Oh, I absolutely do. They love me over there.

You smirk to yourself, fighting yet another laugh. 

Yeah? Thank God.

Boy, I bet you’re a real stud with the ladies, huh?

Damn fucking right. 

This grandpa has moves.

I bet. Yeah, women love a man that squeaks when he thrusts.

They do, actually. I happen to squeak quite sensually.

Is that right?

It is.

Damn.

Might need to hear that for myself someday.

It was bold. Perhaps a little daring, and you don’t give yourself a chance to overthink it before turning your phone off and tossing it onto the other side of the sofa.

You give it five minutes before checking to see if he’s replied.

Thankfully, you have two notifications, delivered 3 minutes ago.

Yeah?

So what’s stopping you?

What is stopping you?

Probably a number of things, but instead of pointing out that he’s a complete stranger and could very well be a catfish (or even worse…that he might not even find you attractive) you decide to go with another joke.

All these Girl Scout cookies I gotta sell :/

Shit.

Yeah.

What if I bought a hundred boxes?

Then you’d have to hand deliver them to my door, right?

Your eyes roll playfully as you sigh.

That IS the Girl Scout policy, yes.

We pride ourselves on good service.

Fantastic, then I’ll take 100 boxes in the flavor of you.

Your lashes flutter as you reread the text, over, and over, and over. But before you can spiral…he’s sending another.

…shit, that was meant to be smooth.

Get it, cause…like, you know, get a taste of YOU. Like…if you were a cookie. 

Cause…I wanna taste you…

Explaining it makes it worse, doesn’t it?

 It should make it worse, but for some reason…he’s funny? And charming? And making your thighs squeeze together—

I think that can be arranged, yeah.

I’ll package them up nice and pretty, just for you.

Equally as cheesy, but apparently…cheese is where you both shine.

You hope he’s at least somewhat amused, and when he finally responds, your stomach flips.

This conversation is bad for my health.

Yeah?

Why’s that?

Because I’m in a meeting and I’m about to have a heart attack.

…why are you about to have a heart attack?

Oh, right. I forgot that happens at your old age.

Ha.

Funny.

Good thing you have Life Alert on speed dial.

Yeah, I don’t think Life Alert is gonna be able to help.

No? Why not?

Cause only one thing can save me now.

Cookies.

Your cookies.

To be exact.

See? Cheesy.

Wow, I was almost turned on and then…

Nope, there it goes.

Oh, is that what we’re doing? We’re trying to turn each other on?

Well, why didn’t you SAY so?

Hold on, I’ve got a few good ones.

Oh god.

Alright, here we go.

So…

What are you wearing?

…really? That’s all you’ve got?

Work with me please.

My gosh.

Clothes.

I have clothes on.

Yeah?

That’s a shame.

Two minutes go by without him adding anything else, and you can’t help but laugh when you realize that’s all he’s got.

Wowwwwww…

No, that was so good. I’m…holy shit, you just took my breath away. I’m so turned on right now.

I mean, my panties just FLEW across the room!

You’re THAT good!

Okay, very funny. 

I wasn’t done.

No, really. You gotta warn a girl before you just completely rock her world like that.

Honestly, I feel a little faint.

Where did you learn such a masterful technique? Really, you should teach a class on sexting, cause that was just…phew.

Listen, I was just trying to take it easy on you.

You know, ease you into my seduction before I gave it to you good and hard.

The last bit of his sentence has you stumbling over a gasp, but you simply clear your throat and work to find a response.

You have two options:

Either you tease him a bit more…

…or you ramp up the tension.

Well, by all means, Harry…

Give it to me good.

And hard.

He doesn’t respond for quite some time to this. And while you’d like to tell yourself that it’s because he’s just so turned on by your response…

…it’s more likely that you definitely fucked up and he wants nothing more to do with you.

But then…your phone dings.

Is that what you want then, hm?

Want it rough?

Shit, shit, shit.

Yeah.

If you think you can keep up.

Trust me, sweetheart, that won’t be a problem.

If you want it rough, I’m more than happy to oblige.

Is that why you texted me today?

Needed my help?

Truth be told, you don’t know why you texted him today, but you certainly aren’t upset with how things are going.

Me? Needing YOUR help?

Cute, but I think my fingers and I can manage just fine.

His response comes so fast, your head spins:

…fuck.

You smile.

Shit, okay now this conversation is REALLY bad for my health.

I might keel over right here in this meeting.

My death is on your hands, Cheese Girl.

Worth it.

You watch the bubbles float onto your screen for a good thirty seconds before they disappear.

Then, they appear again…just to dissipate before you can get your hopes up.

Finally—finally…a text.

Okay, listen, you don’t know me.

And I don’t know you.

I get that.

I’m a stranger, you’re a stranger.

But…

And hear me out…

What would you say to a phone call?

Your pulse stutters as you stare at his proposition, but he’s already sending his next text before you can decide if you’re really that stupid or not.

I know that’s asking a lot, but…

If you promise that you aren’t a 90-year-old man, and I promise I’m not some kid playing video games in his mom’s basement…

We could at least…have a real conversation.

And make sure that we really are who we say we are, you know?

And I could be assured that I didn’t just get a fucking boner in the middle of a busy boardroom cause of some perverted, internet creep that makes cheese jokes.

You hesitate.

Despite yourself, you are intrigued by the idea.

Worst-case scenario if he is some loser…you can just hang up and block his number.

And if he’s not…and he’s half as hot as you’re starting to hope he is…

You swallow.

Thickly.

I am not some perverted, internet creep that makes cheese jokes.

I’m just a regular creep that makes cheese jokes.

Promise.

And…yeah. 

I would be okay with a phone call.

As long as you do in fact promise I won’t regret it and that it won’t result in nightmares that haunt me for the rest of my life.

Ah, well…

Can’t say much for the regret…

But I do promise that I will try very hard not to give you nightmares.

God, are you really doing this?

Are you really doing this?

Alright, then…

Oh, so you’re doing it. You’re really that dumb. You really just let a complete stranger convince you to call him, even though he could be a serial killer, or a psycho, or—

Your phone rings.

You see his name pop up in large print as the cellphone just about flies out of your hand.

Scrambling to keep it steady, you lurch forward and collect a deep breath.

You can do this.

You can do this.

You’ll give him thirty seconds. And if he seems creepy…you’ll hang up, and you’ll move on.

And you’ll never get random boys in bars numbers again.

You press your thumb into the button on your screen and slide it to the right.

Here goes nothing.

“…hello?”

~ iFall for Harry pt. 3 (the third part to this!)

~ Full iFall for Harry Masterlist

~ More Harry Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

Tag List:

@tinyhrry @supersanelyromantic @lomlhstyles

[wannaeatramyeon]

Eugene with Unhinged F!Reader

Unhinged F!Reader: Gun Park | Goo Kim | Samuel Seo | Samuel Seo Part 2 | James Lee/DG | Jinyoung Park | Eli Jang | Tom Lee | Ryuhei Kuroda

Are you fucking kidding?

Yeah you might have completely trashed Gun and Goo, but at least they put up a little resistance.

But this twink and his bodyguards? He had the audacity to call them his Gun and Goo?

It's a good job you came along to keep him in check, you were practically doing the other two losers a favour.

.

.

Dressed in a precise imitation of the Worker's white suit and blue tie combo, you gave the three a little wave and a malicious grin.

You might have had them fooled if not for your poorly drawn Workers black sticker in place of the VVIP badge. There was even a smiley face added. You thought it was a nice artistic touch.

Yuseong held out an arm to stop you getting closer, Mandeok questioned your identity and motives.

"Is that right?Just Eugene? Did I forget the surname?" You muttered to yourself, checking both sides of your scrap of paper.

"Eugene is it?" You called out to the guy in the glasses, "You too special for a last name?"

.

.

Tsk.

There's nothing you hate more than wasting your own time. Chairman of Workers with fodders for bodyguards and little fighting skills himself. So pathetic, they almost sapped the joy out of fighting for you.

Why did you even bother.

Mandeok and Yuseong lie half-dead and battered. Noone in their right mind would have called what just happened a fight: it was a brutal, animalistic beating.

You left Eugene with relatively minor injuries in comparison. Just a pair of broken glasses and some broken ribs. Nothing huge. You weren't done toying with him yet.

Eugene is completely trapped and unable to move. He's not sure it would make a difference anyway with you hovering unbearably close, disappointment painted all over your features.

"Eugene, Eugene, Eugene~" Your face draws ever closer with each repetition. Even hearing his own name makes him flinch. Isn't that precious.

Damn, tears already? This guy is surprisingly easy to crack.

Your tongue darts out and licks the salty droplets. It tastes delicious. Or maybe that was the fear.

Startled by your actions, Eugene's breath catches in his throat. He can't control his trembling.

Funny how worthless and weak he is without any so called protection. How once stripped bare, men like him are utterly powerless.

"How does someone that runs such a big corporation have such submissive, bottom energy?" You taunt, running a nail along other cheek, breaking through skin and letting the blood mingle with his tears.

Eugene shivers. You've never felt such helplessness from someone that should hold such power.

"Hmm? Aren't you going to answer me?"

"Enough... You've won."

"Oh honey, I know. My victory is obvious." You brush back his fringe. All the easier to see the despair in his eyes.

"I can give you anything you want. Just let us go."

"And what if I just want to kill you?"

You run your thumb along his quivering lips.

"Please..."

"Please?" Eugene's blood curdles at your laugh, "Little boy, then get on your fucking knees and beg."

[ninjagirlstar5]

This is for my mutual that requested that I do Kakeru next, so I did! I actually had this finished all in one day but it was very late where I was by the time I was done, so I had to shelve it for today instead.

Kakeru's OG design is just...funny, when you find out his Ultimate Talent. This man does not look like a lawyer and looks like any other muscular guy that probably does sports. Which makes it even funnier when you find out that, no, he doesn't actually do sports, he was literally just born like this! This man was blessed with the best health possible, and yet he feels ashamed for this because his sister was born very sickly, so he blames himself for "taking away her health" when it's not his fault. It's just how life goes sometimes. But anyways, back to his redesign. I chose to base this redesign off of his splash art as he actually looks like a lawyer in that than his in-game sprite, but changed it up and added details to it since I didn't want to straight up copy it. Based off of his OG design, he was dressed pretty casually, so I decided to have his shirt collar slightly unbuttoned and kept it untucked, his suit jacket open, and his tie a little more loose. I gave him boots to add a bit of flair to his design, gave him small earrings, an attorney badge, and a tie pin to keep it attached to his shirt and prevent it from flying off. It's to show that while he's casual, he's still a professional. Also, in his splash art, he's shown wearing glasses, so I'm questioning why LINUJ didn't let him keep that??? What, are those reading glasses, fake glasses to make himself look smarter, or are those glasses that he actually needs to see from? Imagine that those are prescribed glasses, and he's walking around the killing game with blurry vision the whole time he was alive, lmao. But seriously, it's weird cause in one of LINUJ's sketches where he drew what the 79th class would look like if they survived, he has his glasses again so the state of his eyesight is just one big question mark. So I just said, "Fuck it, he has glasses" and that was it. It honestly adds to his professional and smart aura, which actually adds to his intimidation since you'd expect him to be very serious...and then it turns out he's super sweet and shy outside of court. And what helps hint to his softer, sillier side would be the flame design on his tie, as ties with goofy designs like that can show that this person can be silly if they want to be (at least, character wise). And I didn't want to get rid of the flame design on his shirt completely, so I decided to call back to it by moving it onto his tie instead. A tie that his sister probably chose for him, so Kakeru would wear it all the time, hehe. His hair barely changed, I just adjusted it so that it has a better shape. As for the colors, I made Kakeru's tanned skin a bit more obvious, and kept his colors quite monotone aside from the tie and gold metal of his earrings, tie pin, attorney badge, and the buckles of his boots. Fun fact: I originally made his suit blue, but decided that he looked too much like Phoenix Wright and desaturated the colors to look more gray, haha.

Anyways, I love Kakeru. I just wished he acted more like a lawyer in-game, you know?

[esmeraldatgg]

I think the worst part about Twitter's new paid verification system is that it completely undermines what the system was originally created for, and reinforces the idea that it's supposed to be a symbol of status; something to say "I'm better than you"

Now granted, that's what it BECAME, because of how the stipulations for getting the verified badges meant that only the big accounts could conceivably get them.

But originally, Verification was what it says on the tin: a way to confirm your identity via a little badge next to your name, which can make impersonations of your account harder for people looking to do so.

Now as said, Twitter has admittedly been pretty favoritist in applying the system; you need to either have a certain amount of followers, or else be an official brand in order to apply, and even then, Twitter could find any arbitrary reason to deny your application; when people should be able to hand in any form of verification and get the badge, regardless of their branding. (In my opinion, at least.)

However, none of that changes the fact that the Twitter Verified was, in essence, a way to show all the people following you that you are who you say you are.

Cut to today, and people have it in their head that the Verification System is made only so that entitled people can feel special by having a funny little badge in their name.

And what does big boy Elon decide to do with it?

Why, slap a price tag on it, of course!

So now, people who rightfully earned the badge by virtue of... being the real deal, either have to

a) give up their badge and increase the risk of impersonators successfully tricking people becaue they don't wanna pay the $8 fee

or

b) pay the $8 fee every 30 days, just to keep the badge that tells others "yes, this is actually me!"

Couple that with the fact that Elon tried to defend this decision using a fucking WOJAK MEME!

(yes this IS a real thing that he tweeted; notice the badge?)

And it's obvious that the decision to make Twitter Verification a paid feature was only really done so that funny Tesla man can milk the site for all it's worth, (which according to him, is about $44bil) regardless of how little feature actually necessitates requiring payment.

[dispatchvampire]

Accidentally In Love (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x FemaleOC

Warnings: Potentially lethal levels of fluffiness right now, potential for smut later. A little blood, canon levels of violence potentially. Plus size female OC, body descriptions.

Rating: PG-13 (right now for language, but look for this to change)

WC: 2600-ish.

Summary: 

Echo's living a normal life in NYC, a 911 dispatcher, the most excitement she gets is from the calls she takes. And then love comes crashing in one day when she's riding her bike through Central Park.

Steve and Bucky weren't looking for anything on their daily run around the park besides fresh air and exercise. The streak of purple eye candy on a bike that lapped them pretty regularly was a nice addition but not mandatory, at least until some impromptu roughhousing results in some civilian casualties in the form of the most beautiful woman either of them had seen in a long, long time.

A/N: AU, Post CACW, Bucky’s Chill and we have always lived in the Tower. Just call this a throwback to the found family, everyone lives in Stark Tower fics.

This is supposed to be a super-fluffy love story. Still undecided if I'm gonna keep this one going but posting now for giggles and grins. It's got some CSI:NY characters crossing over because why not.

I'm just messing about and playing in my WIPs folder. Not Beta'd: we die like men! (honestly, I tried but if you catch something I missed, let me know)

Chapter 2

Blinking, Echo arrived back on the current plain of consciousness in a very bright room that smelled vaguely of antiseptic and orange slices. Blinking, she groaned a little as she took in her varying pains that hadn’t been evident before, including the stiffness in the elbow where her IV was installed. 

“There she is.” 

She turned her head toward a voice she recognized very well. Lindsey Messer, Danny’s wife and her friend from the job and her building, sat at her bedside holding her hand. In her pants suit and fuschia blouse, wearing her work badge, it was clear the tiny blonde had come straight from the crime lab. “Hey Linds. I hope Danny didn’t make you worry. I’m fine. My head’s too hard for any lasting damage.”

The blonde snorted and slid a plastic cup with a straw in it over to her. “That’s what I told them.” 

It was good to know her friend had her back. “What am I doing here?”

“They said you had a concussion and lost consciousness at the scene. Apparently you hit your head when you went into the stream by the bridge. Plus you got some stitches in your nose and chin and have a hairline fracture in your wrist.”

“Oh.” It was so much worse than she feared. Looking down at her wrist she saw the bandage and closed her eyes on a sigh. “Well, this sucks.”

“It does,” Lindsey agreed. “It seems you have some interesting friends, though.” 

Echo sipped her cup of water as she mulled over the strange transition. “We have the same friends, Linds.” Working in law enforcement made for a large extended, and occasionally dysfunctional, family, and since they hung out together, the majority of the people in their lives were shared friends and acquaintances. 

“Funny, because I don't remember you bringing those two superheroes you crashed into on the bike path today out for drinks with us.” She leaned back in the chair, looking nonchalant as she pulled a bottle of water from her purse to sip. 

Superheroes? What? “What are you talking about?” Shifting to sit up further in bed, she found herself tired and reclining back on the pillows behind her. She had one thing she wanted to make clear, though. “And I didn't crash into anyone. I ditched out so I wouldn't crash into anyone.” 

Lindsay smiled slyly. “You’re too nice, that’s why you crashed.” 

Looking around to make sure there were no little ears to overhear she snarked at her friend, “Vaffanculo,” complete with the associated hand gesture. 

Of course that's the moment when Danny decided to come into the room carrying a bottle of water and some white daisies he laid on the table next to her drink. “Ay, yo! You kiss your mother with that mouth?” he asked with his ever present grin. He’d clearly cleaned up and changed into one of his signature tight t-shirts and jeans. He made hipster chic look good with his wire-rim glasses and skinny jeans.

Rolling her eyes hurt but she did it anyway. “Whatever, Danny. When do I get outta here?”

The thin man winced and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Well, see that's the problem. Both the girls have ear infections, and they’re with my mom right now, but there's nobody to look after them for us, so we can look after you. And well unfortunately, between us and Flack, Donnie is going outta town with Trish for the weekend. So the docs wanna keep you overnight.”  

“But…” she whined pitifully. The idea of spending the night alone in the hospital sounded as appealing as shaving her legs with a dull razor and lemonade shaving cream.

Lindsey’s lips twitched. “You know we have toddlers, right? We’re immune to such things,” she laughed.

Lower lip in full pout, she replied, “And that's just unfair.” Echo reached onto the table and then rummaged around in the sheets over her before reaching into her bloodstained bra and the pockets of her bike shorts. “Where's my phone?” Surely she could find someone to look after her at her place so she didn’t have to stay in the hospital.  

Danny cringed as he grabbed the other visitor’s seat in the room. “Yeah, about that... your phone’s out getting fixed right now. Unfortunately it and your sunglasses met the creek bed and experienced a similar fate as you.”

“Oh no.” She winced and reached up to touch the bridge of her nose involuntarily as her hopes for escape dwindled in front of her. “This is bad.” 

He nodded, conceding her point. “Yeah, yeah it is, kiddo.”

“So, I have to stay.” It was a statement of resignation more than anything and she was beyond displeased, but knew two things: first, this wasn’t her friends’ fault, and second, she couldn’t do anything about this.

“Unfortunately.” Messer nodded again. Seeing her dejected expression, he rushed to assure her, “Just for tonight though. They’ll let you go in the morning. Hopefully your phone will be back here by then, good as new.”

“Wait…” Her mind was still a little fuzzy, but Echo was pretty clear that phone insurance wasn’t nearly that prompt. “Who's got my phone?”

Lindsay looked at Danny with a pointy glare. “You didn't tell her?” 

“She just woke up! You were here!” Danny held out a hand hoping to show that he was unarmed and not one to take her fire. He pulled the chair over to the bed to be closer to Echo. “Do you remember the two guys you crashed into?” 

“I didn't crash,” she corrected, rolling her eyes coming much easier this time.  

“Your face and bike would disagree,” he supplied diplomatically, with only the barest hint of a grin.  

“Whatever.”

His eyes narrowed as he looked at her, assessing. “You really don’t remember?” 

Shaking her head hurt, but she tried anyway. “Help me out here, Messer. I got nothin’.” She had vague recollections of the two hot guys from the path, but considering she saw them daily, those were not memories she trusted. “Were those the ones you and Flack had your guns on?” 

Lindsay's eyes grew very large and she pinned Danny down with a very pointed glare. “You had your gun on Captain America and Sergeant Barnes?” 

“It was a very fluid situation,” he gritted out through his clenched jaw. “It took a minute to get it all untangled.”

“I'm sorry, what?” The headache that had been dancing around the edge of her vision grew to full force causing her to rub her face. “What? That doesn't even make sense.” How in the fried fuck did the fricking Avengers figure into this? “How—? What—? I don’t understand—”

Danny cringed at her questions and pushed to his feet. “Well I think we've done enough damage here. Linds will get the girls and we'll see you tomorrow morning.”

Echo’s eyes popped open as she reached for him when he stepped away to put the chair back. “Wait! No! You don't get to just drop a bomb and leave like that.” 

Likely attracted by her beeping monitor, the nurse came in to see her blood pressure spiking. “You have to go now. The patient needs her rest.” 

Lindsey and Danny leaned over for quick hugs before heading toward the door. “This will make sense in the morning, E, okay? You’ll be fine,” he assured her. 

She whined again, dropping her head into the pillows. “Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, you will,” he replied with his trademark toothy grin. 

Right before he and Lindsey walked out the door, she asked, “Hey, who has my bike?”

“Hopefully that’ll be here with your phone.” 

The way Danny’s smile turned secretive before the nurse closed the door was concerning, but her head hurt too badly to really give it too much thought. Honestly, she was tired again and since it seemed she had nowhere else to be, she figured it was a good moment to take a nap. 

“We should have brought the bike up.”

“And put it where, genius? In the hallway where it’d just be in the way? In here? It’s a hospital, not a subway platform.”

“I just think—”

“And that’s your problem right there, Stevie.”

“I just don’t want her to think we took it or anything.”

“Steve. Really. Come down off the cross; we need the wood.” 

Echo woke to the sound of grumbled whispers and some sort of mechanical noise. Her dark eyes opened to the overly bright room, only to slam shut again at the vision before her. It was clearly a concussion-generated hallucination, because there, seated at her bedside were the two sexy mofos from the bike trail. A flimsy wisp of a memory danced across her mind of the blond one fetching her from the creek by picking her up, but… that wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be; she was too heavy for that. She hadn’t been picked up since childhood, and certainly was not one to invite the casual touch of strangers.  

Cracking her eyes open the barest hint, she watched the two men, giants, both of them, arguing back and forth softly beside her. She’d never given thought to their size before beyond their muscles, considering her bike gave her a height advantage, but damn if they weren’t enormous, still dressed in their too-tight t-shirts and jeans that encased their thighs closer than clingwrap.  

Her soft whimper at the sight brought their argument to a halt as both of them reached for her hand. 

“Hey, beautiful,” the longhaired one greeted her with a soft smile as he delicately touched her fingers. His own fingers were cold, and when she looked to see why, it appeared they were made of some kind of metal. In her mind, she’d always assumed it had been some kind of tattoo when she’d seen him in passing, so the metal was a bit of a shock. 

“Howya feelin’, sweetheart?” the blond one asked as he laid his hand over her same wrist. 

She closed her eyes for a moment, just absorbing the absurdity of this moment. “Best. Hallucination. Ever.” 

Her eyes snapped open at a bark of laughter followed by the mostly silent wheezing giggles that overtook Hotness 2. He threw his head back, shaking out his unbound hair in full chortle, a bubbly infectious sound that made her feel like she’d been infused with sunshine. The way his nose crinkled made her want to hug the hell outta him. 

“Babydoll,” he choked out as he brushed away tears from his cheeks before patting her knee with a warm smile. “We’re as real as it gets. I promise.” 

Blondie’s grin at his friend was a mix of affection and unruffled resignation. “Ignore Chuckles over there. How are you feelin’?”

“I’d feel better if I knew who you were,” she said softly. It was a strange feeling, a sensation of familiarity and absolutely no idea why she might know them. Not that she didn’t appreciate the attention, but it was disconcerting that they seemed to know her and she had no active memory of them beyond their occasional encounters on the trails and paths in Central Park.

“I’m James and this is Ste—Wait, you really don’t remember us?” The brunet went from amused to stricken in a breath when she shook her head, his free hand—it was a metal hand—scrubbing down his face and pulling his features taut before clapping his hands. “Right then. I’m James—my friends call me Bucky, and this is Steve. I ran into you on the trail yesterday.”

Eyes rolled to the ceiling, the giant blond then directed an annoyed glare at his compatriot before folding her hand in both of his massive paws. “What Buck means is he ran into you on the bike path. By the Glen Span bridge.”

“Oh! Jeez!” Thinking back, all she could see in her mind was the blue shirt and then everything goes kind of hazy until… “Guns? My friends had their guns on you?” 

They both held their hands up, shaking their heads. “A misunderstanding. It all got sorted out pretty quickly, despite Smartass over here trying to get us killed,” James grumbled in Steve’s direction, even as a smirk curled around the corners of his mouth. 

The blond winced at his friend’s description of the events but didn’t correct him. “Anyway, we wanted to come and apologize for all the upheaval we caused for you.”

“And your stitches and things,” the brunet added as he tucked his long bangs behind his ears. Looking down in his lap, he jerked as he noticed the bag by his feet. It was purple and glittery and had tissue paper sticking out of the top and he pushed it into her hands like it may be virulently contagious. “Here. From us.” 

Immediately suspicious, Echo held the bag at arm’s length. “Okay? What is it?”

Steve rolled his eyes with a little huff of impatience. “Telling you ruins the surprise. We went to the trouble of wrapping ‘em—”

“Well, Wanda did,” Buck leaned over to stage-whisper conspiratorially. 

“We went to the trouble of having ‘em wrapped,” the blond corrected with an impatient glare at his friend, “so open it.” 

A little embarrassed at having their eager eyes track her every move, she dug past the mountain of glittery paper to pull out a shrink-wrapped, brand new Stark Phone in the signature red and gold box which she set on the bed next to her. Everything about this situation was so goddamn weird, it was hard to make all the pieces fit together in her head with any kind of coherence. 

“Tony promised me he got all your stuff transferred over,” Steve offered eagerly as he poked the box a little closer to her. 

“Pictures and things,” Buck clarified over his friend’s shoulder. They both seemed greatly invested in her taking the gift.  

She held the box up in one hand while pawing through the bag with the other. “Okay?” Her fingers brushed against another box, this one textured and obviously expensive cardboard and almost as hefty as her phone box. 

Echo’s eyes widened as she pulled out the black box with the distinctive gold writing on it. “Is this…?” she trailed off as she observed the two men closely. Steve nodded encouragingly, so she opened it, almost afraid of what could be inside. Inside was a hard leather case, with gold lettering that matched the exterior box. “You got me Versace sunglasses?” She couldn’t decide if she was happy or mildly horrified. 

The blond nodded vigorously. “Yeah, yours were in pieces from where I stepped on them getting out of the water.” His cheeks flushed as he looked more than a little ashamed. “Tony assured me that you’d be okay with the replacement.” 

“Stevie’s underselling it. Stark said you’d appreciate the upgrade.” 

Upgrade? Shit… she was a city employee and made nowhere near the kind of money that this pair of sunglasses cost. They were likely more expensive than all the clothes in her closet. “I… thank you?” 

“Here.” James nodded at the bag next to her. “There’s more in there.” 

At the expectant looks on their faces, she set the black box aside and turned her attention to the bright yellow envelope just inside the bag. “‘Sorry we broke your stuff, please accept these replacements with our humblest apologies,’” she read, wary of their hopeful expressions when she finished. “'Replacements?' Plural? There’s more?”

[ingravinoveritas]

Hi! :) So, about posting habits and copying:

Georgia posts this screenshot of someone asking her to tell David that they're in love with him/want to marry him (not sure anymore, but I'm counting on you to remember haha), responding yeah, I'll get right to that, or something akin to that.

It's funny enough and her reply doesn't come across as anything more than humorous, in my opinion, especially since we've seen this theme for years, on Twitter and Instagram. It's on-brand-Georgia.

Her tone, albeit the sarcasm, is still pretty nice, playing the ball back by pretending that she's not telling David because then she'd have to compete with the person who wrote in. I'm sure whoever texted her this was giggling at their phone when Georgia responded. I'm not sure if the same thing will be the case with fan interaction number two, however: Cue, Anna.

Because now, a few days later, Anna posts what is pretty much the same interaction with a fan (about Michael, obv.), but all the charme is gone? Or is that just me?

Let's get something straight, though: The fan message she got was a lot less "sweet" than the one Georgia received (how many kisses does it take for a message to become either passive aggressive or just too hyper or even kind of insincere in tone?), so I won't be too harsh on her for responding in kind (xxxx). Still, had me cringe a little.

Thing is, the more or less blatant copying of Georgia's social media voice keeps fascinating me. Whilst, at most times, it's obvious but still fine as its own thing, this time the whole post really just seemed too...Georgia. Firstly, because it really is like a total replica, secondly because Georgia has worn the "playfully possessive"-badge for years now. I'm not saying that Anna is just pretending to also be that, I genuinely don't think that's true, at least not fully, but what I am saying is that she's clearly aware of this sort of humour being well-received within the fandom and also very intentional about timing. It's always... funny? Noticable? exactly when these "replica posts" appear.

Although, in this case we also have to consider that she responded at the time she got the message (or a day later, at most), so the timing isn't really on her. In fact, this might just be a fan actively going for having the same interaction with Anna that another fan had with Georgia, basically setting her up. Especially considering how the DM was worded - again, it seemed a little too intentional/over the top.

(But yeah, a couple of hours earlier: The Tennant's face sitting post (and, whew lol), so is this trying to somehow keep up with their dynamic again?)

I want to stress that I don't think that any of this is a bad thing. There's literally no harm in her trying to cater to the fandom with this tone of voice and seeming a bit unoriginal. And what do we know, maybe she and Georgia really are that similiar, it's not like Georgia's humour and interactions are that singular. But I'm still having a different response to Georgia's posts in comparison to Anna's, even though they are so similiar, and that's what it comes down to.

Maybe that's completely unfair towards Anna (to some degrees it must be, since Georgia simply has been around longer and therefore claimed her kind of tone, if that's even a thing), but maybe it also comes down to authenticity - or a lack thereoff?

(Grouping these together since they are related.) Well, I hadn't seen AL's story this morning until I got your message @wanderingsemi, so thank you for the heads up. And it is, as you said, an almost exact replica of an Insta story Georgia posted a week ago. Let's get the visual up here, so folks can see both stories:

So, the first thing I will say is that I often have difficulty with discerning people's tones online, as the lack of vocal inflection/other indicators tends to make things challenging. I appreciate you sharing that Georgia's tone came across as humorous to you, because while I definitely did get the sarcasm, I also felt a sense of contempt coming from Georgia's reply, too. I do agree, however, that her response was very much "her," in her trademark style, and is something we've come to expect over the last few years now.

It's probably worth mentioning that these are both odd/weird things to send to your fave's partners. I know social media has largely eroded a sense of boundaries in a lot of fans, but it's just an awkward thing to say overall. (I submit that it's actually more awkward/inappropriate than RPF, because RPF is fantasy and is not something any of these people would come into direct contact with unless they went looking for it.) That being said, while neither Georgia nor AL can control the things fans send to them, they can choose to respond (or not) to said comments. So thinking about your Ask, @armangelus, we have Georgia here essentially doing the same thing as AL--being possessive of David in response to a random DM--yet the results are wildly different.

Which then brings me to AL's response. Going back to our discussion on tone, I am not sure that I interpreted the message AL got as being "less sweet" than the one Georgia received, as they seem incredibly similar to me. I'm not sure the message-sender was actually being passive-aggressive, but because AL seemed to look at it that way, it is then reflected in her response (and is fitting with her past responses/personality, which has been passive-aggressive on multiple occasions).

For a little backstory (and this largely comes from @problematicwelshman, whose blog is well worth reading for a lot of tea related to Michael and AL going back to 2019): AL's social media was entirely scrubbed when her and Michael's relationship first came to light (end of June 2019). This also coincided with Michael's longtime PR person quitting, and a seeming overhaul of AL's social media presence. Initially, though, a lot of her posts were in her own voice, but they did not seem to go over well/she was not connecting with the fandom (see this post for links to examples, most of which involve belittling Michael/making fun of his weight and appearance).

Then in mid-2021, this all shifted with an event Michael appeared at for the 150th birthday of the Royal Albert Hall. Suddenly AL was praising and complimenting him in ways she never had in any of her past posts. This also happened to coincide with Georgia starting the #Shebergs hashtag (which sounds like an iceberg, a.k.a. the thing that took down the Titanic, so I'm still not sure why that was chosen as a portmanteau of AL and Michael's names), as well as AL promoting Last Train to Christmas, a movie of Michael's that she appeared in that was released at the end of 2021. So this was another social media overhaul/PR effort, seemingly perfectly timed with AL having something to promote and trying to advance her acting career.

But what this was also the start of is what you alluded to, which is that inauthenticity. I can completely understand you having a different reaction to AL's story than Georgia's, because as you said, that charm is not there, which I think is because it's Georgia's charm, not Anna's. And as much as she might copy Georgia's tone or the types of content she posts, you can't really copy charm--it's either something you have, or something you don't. I think it also ties into the other thing you referenced, which is the "playfully possessive" thing. It actually is something that Anna has copied, also on multiple occasions (see below)...but much like with this story, it doesn't come across the same way as when Georgia does it:

(Another notable thing about the response on the left is that AL was not even tagged in the original tweet, which also copies Georgia's pattern of randomly replying to fans on Twitter--usually as a result of searching David's name, which she has been known to do.)

So yes, I think we can definitely see a clear pattern here, which has seemingly only become more blatant as of late. And while I agree there is no harm on one level of trying to appeal to the fandom, I don't think it's unfair to AL at all because there is such a clear, agenda to what she is doing that becomes more obvious as you look back over the past few years. That, in my opinion, is what makes it seem so forced and not genuine, and is why one might feel a different reaction to her post versus Georgia's.

Those are pretty much my thoughts, rambling as they were. I appreciate both of you sharing yours as well so that we could have this discussion. Thanks for writing in! x

[dykevanny]

Hehe I got more screenshots. Still finding it difficult to get Vanny and Vanessa in the same room unfortunately, for now that blurry screenshot is the best I can get. So! Interesting thing, the glitch filter multiplies so heavily on each Vanny that this is her jumpscare when you have multiple spawned. (I'm pretty sure her normal jumpscare is more red)

Here's a couple other screenshots while I spam a wall of text about this glitch

So basically the way I got this glitch in the first place was doing the atrium section, hopping over the security barriers to get out of bounds and grab the security badge from the prize counter, getting me security level 4 if I remember right.

Unfortunately there's not much else I can do from here besides go down the elevator and just use my security badge to skip the endo section.

(If you do this without getting the map bot jumpscare he won't spawn in and you get softlocked from entering the endo section ever again. Just a little side note.)

If I try to get the party pass early, timelord Moon insta-kills me. No escape. After doing the Freddy repair I can head up the elevator to Rockstar Row. (thankfully it's pretty simple, which is good because I need to repeat this glitch back from the beginning to make this work.)

From here I can do the glitch with or without getting the party pass. Vanessa acts very.. odd during this mess. I think some part of her AI realizes she's not supposed to be here. Last time she followed the Vannies to El chips before realizing and running off, never to be seen again. This time I led the Vannies to Rockstar Row so I figured Vanessa would stick around. Nope. She wandered around with her idle animation for a while before running off towards backstage, never to be seen again. They were in the same room for a while but I couldn't get a screenshot with both of them in the frame because of the view from cams.

Ironically I'm more afraid of Vanessa than I am of the Vanny swarm. Vanessa is half-giga honestly, like the monty in the daycare. She keeps going after you for a while and her pathing is really smart. For all I know she could pop up at any second. At least the vannies walk slow and are predictable lol.

Speaking of.. because it spawns in Vanny from the atrium (literally all I did to spawn them was walk in vaguely the direction of the escalator near fazerblast. For some reason this time it spawned in 3 at a time, last few times I did this glitch it was 4 at a time. Idk what I did differently.) Anyway back to the topic. Atrium Vanny has a constant tracker on you, but she can only walk. She can't do the horrifying t pose and run that lost and found Vanny does. (Highly recommend getting a save for that point in the game. Her AI is fun to mess around with.) She'll constantly chase you unless you do one of two things (with pretty intelligent pathing most of the time too.) If you use Freddy as a door, like I did. Or if you walk on an elevated surface she can't jump to, for example the boxes near the vent in Freddy's room. Doing this is really interesting actually. If you get her stuck behind a door she can't access (Freddoor or the door to El chips, since you need to crouch to get in.) She just keeps skipping to your location. But if you jump on a platform they all freeze in place, doing their idle animation but it's basically walking in place. It's very hivemind behavior lol, that's how I get the majority of these screenshots.

It's really interesting to me and I'm definitely gonna keep messing with it lol. Hope this ramble was more entertaining than a boring wall of text, this glitch is really fun to experiment with, if you'd want to hear/see more about it I'd totally be up to share more screenshots the more I experiment with this glitch :)

Oh my god i am obsessed. Overpowered vanessa (who can Find you) just going oh shit . Wait I’m not supposed to be here. What the fuck why are there 500 of me. And just sprinting from the room is so fucking funny…… and then she is never seen again omg.

Also TIMELORD MOON LMAO…

Ur not boring at all this is quite fascinating. The vannies skipping around in a single file line is fantastic. Also yeah vanny jumpscare is usually a lot more red oh no…her LED eyes ran out of battery:(

[edensbuttercups]

Summers and letters - Robert "Bob" Floyd x reader

after the Coffee shop AU (x), time for a Scout AU

Summary: Every summer, you spend one moth at summer camp, teaching kids and teenagers along side a group that you've grown to love. And that's were Bob teaches too, planning games and activities for yet another year, except this year might be the last, having sent all of his details to try to get into the Navy. So what happens when he does leave for the Navy, leaving both you and the kids missing him, as well as your crush for him not yet revealed?

A/N: This has been in the works for months, and I just couldn't find the motivation to finish it, but gladly, I finally did! Planning on writing a part two from Bob's point of view, at least from when he leaves, when he receives the letters, how things go from there. I hope this ends up being a good read, let me know if a part 2 sounds interesting enough! ♡

Words: 4.5k

As always, requests are open and comments are very much appreciated! Thank you for reading and hope you're all having a good day ♡

Every summer, you set aside a whole month for the scout’s camp, a whole month spent with kids and teenagers, depending on the week, and a whole month with your fellow teachers and friends. You had been seeing them every summer for at least four years at this point, the real world getting shut out each time you crossed the makeshift entrance to the camp, nothing but three trunks nailed to each other, strong enough to hold onto each other during the worst of storms. The weeks were organized in the best of ways, groups divided by age and somewhat easy to deal with, ending each camp with a song by the fire, a good amount of badges earned and a whole lot of fun memories to take home. 

And after dark, when the kids were in bed, you got to hang out with everyone by the fire, just like you had with the kids, yet with different conversations, deeper, funnier, getting to know each other better, with the lack of contact, usually, between one summer and the other. There was one of your fellow colleagues that you kept contact with, Sarah, just one year older than you and living on your same street, and a colleague that you wished to have more contact with, but never found the courage to: Robert. He had everyone call him Bob, and you couldn’t help but smile every time he came over to you, talking excitedly about the activities planned, or some of his passions, adventures on the ranch, dreams. You remembered one of the first nights on camp this year, when the two of you had found a spot by the campfire, on lookout for any kids ignoring lights out or that rather preferred wandering in the dark, talking to each other to make the time pass, keeping each other company while you waited for the next people to take over. 

“I remember my first time on a horse. I wasn’t really a fan of the idea, but my dad had insisted, so I climbed on and tried my best for a solid ten seconds, before deciding to give up. Ended up with my foot stuck on the saddle. Rode for 50 meters upside down and crying.” He told you, his cheeks blushed from the slight embarrassment he still felt when talking about it, but it was all worth it when you laughed, your hand reaching for his shoulder as you wiped a tear from your eye. “Were you okay?” You asked, eyes sparkling from the laughter you had just graced him with, finding the image of a seven year old Bob hanging from a horse a little too funny. “Oh, yeah, just annoyed.” He said, laughing once more and shaking his head, “I tried again the next day, actually thinking about my movements before jolting down a moving animal, and eventually I came to love it. I was just grumpy that day and that did not help.” You smiled at his words, his way of being, the comforting sight of him in front of you, sitting cross legged in front of each other as the nearby campfire warmed you. “What’s your plan with the ranch?” You asked, shifting a little closer, just to feel his knees bump against yours, his hand reaching over to grab your hands, holding them between his when he saw you shiver, a comforting habit he had grown into after knowing you for a little over two years now. “I’m not sure. I always thought I’d stay. Help my family, keep on what has been going for years, but… I don’t know, recently I’ve been wondering if maybe leaving would-” he shook his head, frustrated that he couldn’t find the right words, “I’m afraid that staying here will make me miss something that maybe I’m supposed to find.” You nodded, blushing at how his hands were cradling yours, thumb gently caressing your skin as he talked, understanding his words but getting lost in his touch. “An adventure you’ll miss if you stay here?” you offered with a smile, having felt the same thing as him. This town was great for many things, but it was its own world. You loved summer camp, creating a separate reality from the rest of the world for a good month, but when you got back home you did wonder what you were missing, if all those things you saw on tv were things you were supposed to truly live, rather than simply dream of. He looked at you, his eyes scanning your own, nodding slightly. Squeezing your hands softly before letting them go he cleared his throat, looking ahead at someone, your mind soon catching up and standing up, knowing that it was time to give up your lookout position and head to bed. He whispered a goodnight as you reached your cabin, waving timidly before climbing the steps to his own, leaving you with a smile on your lips at his first story, and some aching in your chest at his uncertainty, one that matched your own. 

“Bob! Next year maybe we can try the other trail? I heard there’s caves and stuff!” the kid excitedly said, her hands gripping tightly to her own pants, trying to contain her movements. “I… yeah. If I’m here, sure!” He muttered, hands reaching for hers, helping her move down from the log she had climbed onto, the way back to camp seemingly not fun unless she went over any obstacle she laid eyes on. You turned to look at him, in your eyes a questioning look that he returned with a small shrug and a smile, hoping that he’d have the chance to further explain later on. He had never missed a year, always there for the whole month, mentioning once that this was his time off from the ranch, getting extra time to hang out and do something he loved. So his uncertainty was… weird.  “You promise?” she asked, this time jumping over a small rock, her hands clinging onto the kid in front of her, Nellie. “Yeah, promise! Promise!” Nellie started chanting, soon aided in her chorus by most of the other kids, their voices high in pitch and loud, making you laugh as you moved around them, gently shushing them. “I… I promise, yeah.” he said it slowly, as if his promise wouldn’t count that way. He was half sure he would be there, but he wasn’t fully sure, and lying was something he hated, especially when it came to lying to the face of those adorable kids, kids he had spent various summers with. “Time to head back, kids, let’s not overdo it, we wouldn’t want dear old Bob to go deaf, right?” you joked, moving them along the path, the sign to the entrance of the camp now in sight. You missed the way he smiled at you, or the way he had to glance down at his feet instead of quickening his pace to catch up, the lie slowly making him uneasy. You slowed down your steps, falling into a small walk as the kids ran ahead, finding the others and falling into a queue, ready for the next activity, one that neither you nor Bob had to partake in, time for a welcomed break. “If you’re here?” you questioned, trying to keep your tone lighthearted, pushing any other feeling away, even if the closeness of your hands was making it hard to concentrate on anything but reaching for his, holding it, for once. “I…” he started, taking a deep breath in, chuckling lightly, “I was thinking of joining the Navy. Sent my papers to the academy and all. I don’t think they’ll take me, I mean, c’mon.” He laughed, pointing at himself, “but if they do, summer is… not a thing I’ll be able to pass here, I think.”  “Oh.” You managed to reply, your footsteps slowing once more, not willing to end your chat so soon, slowly stirring it towards the path that twisted around the camp, a short-ish walk, but leaving you with some more time to talk. “I mean, they’d be lucky to have you, really.” you said honestly, smiling at him. “But I’ll miss you, if you end up going.” You revealed, looking up at him. He didn’t look like a Navy guy, with his messy hair, not combed after the night ‘cause of lack of time, or his glasses, or his slightly shy demeanour, but you’d support him in it. He was smart, and he had many skills, and he would be great and you knew he could do it. He wouldn’t know that, of course, since you never quite got the courage to ask for his number, never exchanging them, never hearing from each other if not when you met a whole three seasons later, and so you’d never get to tell him how proud you were of getting in, if that ended up being the case. And it took everything you had in that moment to not show the disappointment in your face, especially when you glanced back up at him, his cheeks red from the sun and his eyes twinkling from the light. God, you thought, If he does end up going, next summer is going to be hard.

You sat by the campfire, Bob sat opposite you, Sarah by your side, chatting with the others about the last days on camp, the crackling of the wood making everyone smile fondly as stories were exchanged. “I couldn’t believe that Kyle found the courage to cross that bridge all on his own.” Martin said, shaking his head. You nodded along with the rest, smiling as the kids' accomplishments were shared, as the last activities were planned, from writing a summary of their favorite activities for reference for the coming years, to what stories to tell and treats to cook. “So,” Sasha said after all the planning had been done, “what are you all going to be doing this winter? Will we be seeing everyone next summer?” He asked cheerfully. He was the oldest of the group and acted almost like a dad to everyone, always keeping in touch when he could, but also taking care of the vast majority of the summer camp organization. You smiled as everyone took their turn telling their plans, talking about your own when it was your turn and told everyone your own plans, not varying much from those of the previous year. It was then Sarah’s turn, with the chatter about parties and travels, hopefully, never losing that glint in her eyes as she talked. It was then Alice’s turn, and Eliott’s, until it was Bob’s, and you moved to look at him, curious to listen, and to have the extra excuse to look at him with no guilt about it. “I’m going to help out at the ranch.” He mumbled, “The usual. But… yeah.” He added, nodding with a light chuckle. It was the furthest thing from a confirmation about his presence in the upcoming year, but Sasha took it as one, not noticing how Bob’s eyes darted to yours when he didn’t mention what his plan really was, almost as if he was asking you to keep his secret, which of course you did. You gave him a soft smile at his words, keeping your gaze on him, seeing his big blue eyes as they looked back, a timid smile sent your way as a silent thank you.

Two days later you said your goodbyes. The kids left first, their parents coming to pick them up as they hurriedly ran towards them, jumping in the arms of mothers, parents, brothers, grandparents or caregivers, each child happy to have spent the time in the wild but still glad to go home. Olivia and Nellie, having grown closer this year than they had during the last two, waved at everyone, giggling and running around. You turned to look at Bob, his smile bittersweet as he looked at everyone, waving and saying his goodbyes, and his words from the previous days came to mind. “So…” you said, moving closer to him, “I’ll see you next year, maybe?” He hadn’t added anything else, and while there were still a few hours to be spent all together, fixing what could be fixed of the camp and saying your own goodbyes, this seemed like one of the last moments you’d get alone with him. He sighed, looking down. “Maybe, yeah.” He nodded, already missing the idea of not being here, but feeling a passion in his being at the thought of what the navy could offer. “I’d love to be, but… it’s not sure.” He mumbled quietly, still weary about talking about it with anyone but you. “I’d love for you to be, too.” You joked, deciding on asking him for his number when you saw his smile, the excuse of keeping in contact perfect and direct. “I wanted to-” “Hey, Bob! There’s some fixing to do in cabin 4, can you give me a hand?” Roger shouted from halfway down the path, interrupting you. “Yep! Coming right down!” He shouted back, fixing his glasses and looking back to you, expectantly. “Oh. Ehm… nothing,” you said with a dry laugh, feeling your cheeks heat up under his curious gaze, “Go help Roger. I’ll see you later!” you waved, turning to find Sarah. You had almost asked him. Which was already a step forward, maybe. Still, it felt bittersweet. Even if you got his number, there was a good chance he’d be gone by next summer, away in another state doing who knows what. 

You sighed as you reached your cabin, finding Sarah in it, packing and cleaning, moving around to the music. “Anything I can help you with?” you asked, stepping in and smiling at her, happy when she nodded, needing something to keep you busy. “Last bit of cleaning, yeah. There’s a sponge by the desk over there!” She said, pointing at the clean sponge by the soapy water, the smell coming from it flowery and sweet. You moved by her side and cleaned along, dancing slightly to the music, not saying much.

And there you were, a few hours later, clutching your bag like your life depended on it, waiting to see Bob for the, possibly, last time. “Hey.” You heard him call after a moment, jogging up to you and sending a wave at Sarah, patiently waiting in her car. She had told you to talk to him, that being the only way you could get a lift home from here, and that’s what you did, clinging to that threat to give you the confidence you needed. “Hey.” you repeated, sighing softly, “so, it’s done, huh?” You barely had spoken, his arms already wrapped around you in a quick hug, a thank you whispered in your ear before he pushed away, standing before you again. “I’m sorry. I… I hope to see you again?” He asked, slightly stuttering as he reached for his bag, flinging it over his shoulder with red cheeks. “Yeah.” You hummed. Want to exchange numbers? You could’ve asked. Would you like to keep in contact? “See you next summer, maybe?” Is what you came up with instead, looking at him expectantly until he nodded, swallowing the words that he might’ve liked saying, leaving you to leave with a curse on your lips at the missed opportunity, and him with a slight sadness in his chest, knowing it was likely he wouldn’t see you next summer. 

Winter passed slowly, spring soon breaking the frost and warming everything up, leaving a sense of excitement bubbling in your chest. You couldn't wait for camp to start again, meeting new kids, spending time by the fire, seeing Bob again. It was stupid, but he was kind, and cute, and intelligent, and you enjoyed spending time with him, so harboring a little crush was fine, but a little distraction you could allow yourself. 

And then the start of summer officially came, leading you all the way up to the annual meet-up, few days before the kids would arrive, the camp in need of some small maintenance and preparation. It was all great, until each single person arrived, except Bob. He was always one of the first to arrive, with his bag of stuff and big smile, waving at everyone and standing by your side, your little chit chats vital as you caught up with each other. But this time he wasn’t here, and you knew what it meant. You tried to hide your wandering gaze, feeling a hand brush over your arm and jolting you out of your thoughts, meeting face to face with Sarah. “How have you been?” She asked you excitedly, pulling you in a hug. She held you tight, moving you from side to side as she patted your back, happy to see you in this setting rather than your usual neighbourly visits, even if her reaction made it seem like you hadn’t seen each other in months. “All good!” You lied, smile tight and fake, hoping that she couldn’t read what was really going on in your mind. You had held on to the hope that Bob would be here, but now that you were waiting, it didn’t seem likely anymore. “Great!” She smiled back, taking in her surroundings and counting each person there. “We’re one short.” She announced, turning to look at you with questioning eyes. “Bob’s not here.” You said, looking down and revealing your secret almost instantly, knowing she’d understand soon enough anyway. She knew about your slight crush on him, revealing it earlier last fall when you spent a chilly night with some drinks, the alcohol making you spill your secret. “Oh, honey.” She said softly, hearing your tone and reaching to pull you in another hug, this time trying to comfort you. It was just a crush, but she knew you cared about him, and had desperately hoped that he’d be there.

“Bob?” She asked, perching herself forward, almost falling off her chair. “The cutie with the glasses? The one that always comes over to chat with us but never really talks to me unless you’re around? The one that looks at you like you’re a goddess every time you help a kid that fell over, or when you charm everyone with your stories?” You felt your cheeks burn as you shook your head, knowing that that could not be the truth. “Sarah, please.” You begged, half-regretting mentioning this to her. “No, no, I fully get it! He is cute, he’s funny, you two work well together. But you should tell him.” She spoke honestly and simply, clinking her bottle to yours. “Never.” You said with a laugh, knowing that that wouldn’t happen. Sure, you worked together, and you loved talking to him, and every time you were by his side you could get lost in his stories or just sit in silence and enjoy that too, but there was no way you’d tell him that you liked him. “Okay, then ask for his phone number. That way you can chat, and maybe he’ll ask you out.” You sighed, shaking your head. “If the moment calls for it, sure. I’ll… maybe.” You offered, clinking your drink against hers and smiling when she nodded, letting the subject of asking for his number fall, yet still talking about him for another moment, laughing each time you blushed at something she said. 

And so, camp went on as it always did, with bumps and cuts and stories and adventures and crying and laughing and joking and hoping. But with no Bob. It worked out, somehow, except when the kids felt his absence, asking about him, wondering, talking.

Pauline caught up with you, Nellie by her side as she tugged on your pants. “Hey, Pauline, Nellie. All good?” you asked, stopping to talk to them. “Where’s Mister Robert? He said we could go explore the other trail this year!” Her smile was bright, and your heart broke a little more at the knowledge that he wasn’t here. You had heard him make her that promise, and even if he had tried to avoid it, she clung onto it for the whole autumn, winter and spring. “Bob isn’t here this year, dear. But we can still go explore the other trail, we’ll just have to-” “Why isn’t he here?” She asked, interrupting you with a frown. You sighed, lowering your head at the question you had asked yourself the first day back, waiting for him eagerly to arrive only to be left with one person less on your team. “From what I know, he joined the Navy.” You explained quickly, grabbing both her hand and Nellie’s as you walked, answering each question as well as you could as you walked back to camp, needing to tell Sarah the change of plan and pick up any gear needed for the new trail. “Can we send him a letter?” Nellie asked, already collecting a leaf and a flower to press and add to the letter, remembering when he had taught them all about preserving flowers, insisting that they were great gifts, especially for people far away. “We… I think?” You truly weren’t sure, but you assumed that probably it wouldn’t be an issue. You could go talk to his family and get an address, or just leave all the letters for when he got back. “We can.” you decided, giving yourself the afternoon to collect the materials for the next day, knowing that some of the kids would want to add little drawings or think about what to write. “So,” you started, calling the attention of all of the kids, combining a little group of all the ones that had the chance to meet and work with Bob, along with one kid, Henry, that hadn’t, but that had heard so many good things of him that begged you to send him a letter anyway. “Everyone can get one piece of paper to write, and one to draw. Don’t feel obliged to do both, but don’t waste paper either.” you said, trying to be stern but not overly so, flashing everyone a smile as they walked over to grab what they needed. By the end of the day you had collected all of the letters, sitting on your bed while you waited for Sarah to be done with her shower, reading through them and smiling at some of the drawings, Bob being drawn in all of them, sometimes with a goofy smile, or with a Superman cape, or giving a thumbs up to a kid when they did something right. He had always been kind to them, always treated them like equals, always cared for them, and the love he gave was always returned, these letters just proving how he was in their eyes. Dear Bob, I miss you. We get to write you letters, we hope your you’re having fun at the navy thing school. You said we’d get to go try the other trail. We did last week, it was scary but we did it. I miss you, come back to camp again next year please. Love, Nellie.

The first one said, the messy handwriting accompanied by a drawing of her and Bob holding hands, the sun shining in one corner with a big smile.

Dear Bob, My name is Henry. You didn’t meet me, but I heard from my friend you were amazing. I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet. I hope to one day. Big hugs, Henry

This letter had a drawing of a car, red and fast, along with a character that probably was Henry, waving.

Bob, You’re not here this year. I’m sad :( Will you be back next year? What are you doing now? Do you miss us too? I drawed your favorite flower, I remember when you showed me in the forest last year. Come back soon Lucie

And Lucie, just like she promised, had drawn, with her little uncertain lines and messy coloring, a cute flower, Bob’s name written behind it with a big heart.

You closed your eyes, holding the letters in one hand as you considered if this was okay. Shaking your head, you picked a piece of paper up, choosing your best pen and writing a few words to accompany the ones from the kids, each one too sweet to not send to the man you had slowly started catching feelings for. 

Dear Bob, So you made it! I had no doubts, I’m so proud of you! I hope this is okay, but the kids missed you, so I proposed writing you a letter, something to remember us by. There ended up being quite a few, so I hope between trainings and lessons you’ll get enough time to slowly read them all. It was lovely getting to spend so many summers with you. I’ve missed you. I’ve attached my number at the bottom of this message, it might make communication easier, even if just to let me know you got the letters. Big hugs from everyone. 

You signed your name at the bottom, scribbling your number and checking it thrice, as well as reading the whole thing over and over. It wasn’t much, and most of what you wanted to say went unwritten, not willing to tell him anything more than friendly words, already debating for quite some time before Sarah convinced you to write your number down too. “He’ll appreciate it.” She comforted you, looking at the letter in your hand. “It’s so forward.” You muttered, eyebrows drawn together in worry. There was nothing more that scared you than losing this friendship you had built with him, kill this harboring crush before it even had a chance, just cause you had been too forward. “This is literally the opposite. If I were you I’d end it with Love, or with my whole heart, or-” “Okay.” You interrupted her, plucking the page out of her hand and folding it neatly, placing it on top of the stack. You’d send them tomorrow morning, the address you had gotten written carefully and neatly on the front, all the letters placed together in a simple box, not overly heavy but surely giving him some reading material. You truly hoped he wouldn’t mind you finding out where to send the letters to. When you had gotten to his family’s ranch, roughly a week ago, you smiled as you knocked on the door, his mother welcoming you in for some fresh lemonade and a slice of her apple pie. You ended up sticking around for over an hour, telling her stories of how you had met Bob, what activities he was the best at organizing and what stories he had told, as well as her mentioning how much he talked about you, making your heart flutter until you realized she probably meant you as in “the whole team”. By the time the sun had started to set, you had left his house with an address, a piece of pie for the way home, and a new friend. The next morning you sent the letters, the little box you had prepared now donning his name and an address, and soon, hopefully in the next week, he’d receive them.

A week and a half after that, you received it. A simple text from an unknown number, the picture attached to the message immediately giving you a clue as to who it might be.

I am honestly speechless. I didn’t expect this, thank you so, so much.

[laawlesss]

;; Close Quarters ..

— ;; minific tuesday monday !! a oneshot (almost) every monday, usually under 5k words.. (.. usually.. )

>> in which you get stuck in an elevator with a handsome stranger.

; words ? ; 3.2k.

; warnings ? ; none.

; genre ? ; fluff.

; request ? ; no.

; pairing ? ; roronoa zoro x reader.

; notes ; this is just a silly goofy funny fic pls dont take it seriously, its from a random prompt list and the folks in my server chose which one to do ! it gets kind of fast at the end but i think it works. reader is mentioned as ‘they’ once, but otherwise theres no pronouns used <3 crossposted on ao3 !! <3

    You scoffed, crossing your arms and refusing to look at the man across the small quarters of the elevator. “Unbelievable.” You set your bag on the floor and leaned against the wall, rubbing your temple with a hand as a headache began to set in. 

    “What? What’s your deal?” The man across from you spoke up, his voice low and raspy. You had told yourself that you found him fairly attractive, but after his actions, you had thrown any ideas of pursuing him out the window. 

    “What kind of dumbass punches an elevator button? I’m so going to be late for my meeting—” You opened an eye and peered at the man, venom in your tone. He was tall— taller than you, at least— and had a wicked scar running over his left eye. The man’s hair was an odd shade of green, cut fairly short in a way that suited him. He was well built and obviously took care of himself, his arms toned and tanned. Leaning against the thin bar railing of the elevator, he definitely looked tempting and he was your type, but your frustration outweighed your attraction. 

    “The doors weren’t closin’.” He shrugged, and you nearly lost it. He was so nonchalant about breaking the elevator and it was pissing you off. His deep black eye was focused onto his hand, where blood was pooling over his knuckles. 

    “How did you even manage to punch a hole in metal?” You sighed, feeling a little taken aback as drops of crimson fell to the elegantly tiled elevator floor. You had a meeting you couldn’t miss, and now you were stuck with an oddly inhumanly strong idiot. Letting a groan fill the air, you crouched down to rifle through your bag, finding a tiny ziploc bag of bandaids you kept in case of emergencies. Though you were definitely upset at him, you didn’t want to leave him bleeding all over the place. 

    He turned to you, tilting his head. “…It was pretty thin, it wouldn’t have been hard for anyone.” The green-haired man shrugged again, his eyes half-lidded. He was dressed in a simple black ensemble, and you couldn’t really pin down what department of the building he worked in. He wasn’t even wearing his name badge, which was a requirement in most departments. 

    “I’m pretty sure that was steel, regardless of how thin it was.” You stared at him in bewilderment before blinking the emotion away. You held out your hand to him, and deep confusion sparked in his eyes. 

    “What? Want a handshake or somethin’?” He gave you a deadpan look and held out his bloody hand, making you sneer. By now his hand was covered in smeared blood, and you shuddered.

    “..Yuck. No way. I took a basic health class a couple years ago, I can at least keep you from bleeding all over the place if we’re going to be stuck in here.” Swiping a couple of napkins from your bag, you waited for him to relax his hand. He gave you an odd look before muttering something under his breath and letting you have access to his hand. Taking care to not hit the open wounds on his knuckles from where he’d hit the steel, you wiped up as much blood as you could. 

    The man seemed to have a decent pain tolerance because he didn't even flinch when you’d wiped the blood from his open wounds. He winced slightly when you’d exhaled over the exposed area accidentally, but didn’t show any weakness other than that. Once enough of the crimson liquid was wiped away, you carefully placed the bandaids over his knuckles. 

    Satisfied with your work, you took a step back, glancing up at the man. You felt the hair at the back of your neck rise when you met his gaze, his one-eyed stare so intense that a wave of embarrassment flooded through you. He watched for another moment, before raising his hand to look at your handiwork. 

    “Hello Kitty?” He quirked a brow, then looked back at you with a minuscule smirk. It did look a bit silly, an intimidating man of his size with cutesy pink and white bandaids all over his hands. You stared at the cutesy figures of Hello Kitty and My Melody dancing across his knuckles. “…Cute.”

    You froze, a bit startled, before you crossed your arms over your chest and looked away. “You’re welcome. At least you aren’t bleeding all over the floor anymore.” You checked your watch and sighed, noting that you were late for your meeting. With a low exhale, you slid to the floor and sat down, leaning your back against the wall. You were upset at first, angry that you were missing such an important thing, but now you had resigned yourself to your fate stuck in an elevator with an odd stranger. 

    “You alright? Legs give out or somethin’?” You glanced up at the man, who had placed his hands into his pockets and was leaning casually against the elevator wall across from you. His gaze was sharp and though his scar was somewhat intimidating, the man seemed laid back and collected. 

    “No, my legs didn’t give out.” You rolled your eyes, leaning your head back against the wall. “I’m missing a really important meeting right now, and I’m not getting any signal to tell my boss why.” You frowned down at your phone, totally useless in your grasp. The signal was nonexistent, likely because of the layers of thick metal making up the elevator. 

    “Mm.” The man just hummed, turning his gaze to stare at the panel of buttons he’d mauled. 

    With a sigh, you let your eyes fall closed, your heart sinking in your chest. “This’ll probably be why I get fired. My boss really isn’t the most forgiving.” You had let go of all of your anger and figured you’d just look for a new job when you got out of your predicament. You’d been a few minutes late too many times, and you weren’t kidding when you said your boss was ruthless. 

    “Who’s your boss?” The man piped up, his tenor echoing off the close quarters. Somehow you felt comfortable enough with the stranger to complain about your boss. Rubbing a hand over your face, you drew your knees to your chest and stared off at nothing as you began to speak. 

    “Mr. Bartolomeo. Everyone calls him the cannibal, since he practically eats the new hires alive. He’s so strict about everything, and he won’t let go of ‘maintaining the perfect reputation of StrawHat Co.’. I’m literally just trying to get a paycheck, I don’t think me being a few minutes late because I’m so tired from overtime will ruin the image of a billion-dollar corporation.” You muttered, rubbing your temple. 

    The green-haired man let out a smooth chuckle, something that drew your gaze. His smirk had widened, and his eye sparkled. “He’s really harmless.” He shrugged, laughing to himself over something he knew. 

    “Maybe to you! You’re built like a freight train!” You scoffed, throwing your hands up as you flustered. “He’s like, two heads taller than I am, and his appearance doesn’t exactly scream sunshine and rainbows.” 

    The man threw his head back in a wild laugh, before glancing down at his arms. “A freight train, huh?” He snorted, lifting a brow in amusement and giving his arm a slight flex to make his muscles more prominent. You quickly turned your head away so that you wouldn’t be caught staring, but damn was that man built. It was making more sense to you now how he would be able to punch through steel. “That’s a new one.” 

    You took to fiddling with a hem in your pocket as you waited for someone to free the two of you, making idle chatter. You learned that the man was a part of the security sector of the company, though he wouldn’t tell you what his position was exactly. He’d caught the pen you’d thrown at him with a practiced ease that had you admiring his reflexes as well as his figure. He wasn’t much for continual conversation, and seemed to prefer listening to you rather than chattering off on his own, but for once you didn’t seem like you were talking too much. 

    “That’s what I said! He needs to loosen up.” You laughed, your discomfort around the stranger having disappeared. He had shifted to sit down across from you, and the two of you were playing catch with one of the papers you had prepared for your meeting that you had crumpled into a ball. No matter how high or how awkwardly you managed to throw the makeshift projectile, the green-haired man always caught it with ease, it didn’t even seem like it was difficult for him. 

    “Barto’s just kind of like that. Very… set in his ways.” He mused, his smirk returning and making your heart flutter. You had decidedly become glad that the elevator was broken, fate had decided that you deserved something nice for once, and that something nice just happened to be a very pretty man whose company you had begun to enjoy. 

    A comfortable silence fell over the elevator, the only sound was the noise of the crew outside, working hard to get the two of you out. Someone had very quickly discovered that the elevator wasn’t working, due to a frustrated shout from the man and a loud sigh from you. It had been about an hour since you two had gotten stuck, but you weren’t minding it. The only discomfort you felt was from the soft rumbling of your stomach, to which you dug through your bag searching for the small snack you had packed for yourself that morning. You felt a little embarrassed to eat in front of the man, but you were hungry, and who really cared anyways? You were going to get fired after this, and never see the handsome stranger again. 

    Pulling the small granola bar out and beginning to unwrap it, the man across from you smirked and spoke up. “Don’t suppose you have any sake hidden in there?” He was sitting with his knees drawn up, an arm rested on his knee while he leaned his face on his fist. 

    “Sorry, fresh out.” You laughed softly, breaking the snack bar in half. “You can have half of this though, if you want.” 

    He shrugged and held out his hand, accepting your offering and chewing on his portion of the granola bar. “This is the stupidest survivalist situation ever. You think they teach surviving being stuck in an elevator in boy scouts?” You hummed, finishing your piece and dusting off your hands. 

    “Probably not.” He mused, twirling the pen you’d thrown at him in his fingers. “I don’t think you’d survive very long if you didn’t have food and water. Half a granola bar won’t really get you very far.” You nodded.

    “This is true.” 

    ———

    After another hour and you semi-dozing off, the crew outside had managed to open the elevator doors from the floor below. The elevator car was stuck between two floors, and one of the people below called out that the two of you would have to open the hatch in the top of the ceiling and hop off the roof to the floor above. It was a complicated scheme, one you were having a hard time following through with. Your new acquaintance, however, had no problem shrugging his shoulders, before turning to you. 

    “I’ll give you a boost, and you can push the hatch.” You gave him a hesitant look, one that must have been too obvious, because he sighed and got into a crouch. Faster than you could blink, he shot upwards, palm facing the hatch and giving it such a hard shove that it swung halfway open before slamming back shut. “I can’t get it more than halfway. That’s where you come in. I can pick you up and you can push it open, deal?” 

    “Uhh… I’m not sure that’s workplace appropriate—“

    “Or I can toss you up there and hope you don’t get a concussion on your way out.” 

    “I’m sure I could totally lift the hatch no problem!” Your false cheer echoed around the elevator quarters, and you nervously stepped over to the man. He waited for you to secure your bag around yourself before he wrapped a tense arm around your waist and hefted you up easily. You sat on the man’s shoulders, definitely self-conscious, but he seemed entirely focused on the task at hand. 

    With you sitting on his shoulders, you easily reached the ceiling, though you struggled to open the heavy hatch above you. Even with both of your arms shoving at the panel and the man beneath you holding you steady, you were only able to push it open a few inches. “Holy shit, it’s heavy— how the fuck did you open it earlier?” You stared down at him, bewildered, as you shifted to shove the panel with your shoulder. 

    “I dunno. I just pushed it.” He shrugged, fighting off a twinge of annoyance that it was taking you so long. You muttered something under your breath about him being inhumanly strong, and after a few more tries, managed to get enough leverage on the panel that it swung open. The man sent you a confident grin, his dark eye sparkling with an emotion you couldn’t quite place. “There ya go.”

    You held onto the lip of the hatch and pulled yourself through, relying on your meager upper body strength. “Don’t look at my ass!” You shouted behind you as you pulled yourself up, hearing a short response from the man below, who was helping guide you up. 

    “I’m not lookin’ at your ass!” He scoffed, and you could see a faint blush on his cheeks when you glanced down. Settling yourself on the roof of the elevator, you gazed wide-eyed at all the intricacies of the interior, the side of things you never got to see. In the wall panel in front of you, the main doors had been wedged open by another crew of people, and they were waiting for you to step down onto the level’s floor. Looking back over your shoulder, you moved to give the green-haired man a hand, but in an instant he had stepped back, launched himself up, grabbed onto the edge of the hatch, and pulled himself up with an ease that had your head spinning. 

    “What even are you?” You snorted, watching as the man dusted himself off and slid through the opening in the outer doors, waiting for you to follow. You stared down at the floor, before cramming yourself through the opening, landing less than gracefully. Just when you thought you were going to end up kissing the tile beneath your feet, a familiar arm righted you. “…Thanks.”

    “Don’t mention it.” His damned smirk made him seem so attractive. You rubbed your temple while you adjusted your outfit, gathering yourself as best you could. The second you were out, the usual spiky green hair of your boss came into view, and he was absolutely fuming. 

    “There you are! Ya think ya can just get away with missin’ a whole meetin’?!” Bartolomeo was in your face in an instant, sweat beading along your brow. “That was your last chance, I won’t let ya ruin Mr. Luffy’s reputation! When ya get back to your desk, ya can pack ya things!!” You let out a weak sigh, finally confronted by the moment you were dreading. What would the CEO of a billion-dollar company care if one measly worker missed one meeting? Why were you getting fired over nothing? 

    “Barto, give em’ a break.” Your acquaintance spoke up in a gruff voice, and the second your boss turned and looked at him, his eyes went wide and he fell to his knees. 

    “Ohh, Mista Zoro!!!! Forgive me, I didn’t know I was in ya presence!!” Bartolomeo was bowing his head, and it looked like he was sobbing actual tears. You glanced from him to your acquaintance and back, confusion evident on your face. Zoro? As in, one of the founders of the company you worked at? You turned to him with wide eyes, realizing that you were stuck in an elevator for over two hours with your boss’s boss. 

    “You said you were from the security department..?” You tilted your head in confusion. 

    “Yeah, I run it.” His smirk widened, and you slapped a hand over your face. Just your luck, you had been extremely unprofessional with one of the people who could ruin your career with a snap of his fingers. You must have been holding your breath, your heart pounding out of control in your chest as you finally exhaled. Your thoughts were racing like crazy and you were only shocked out of them when a toned arm lay over your shoulders. “Oi, chill out.” You looked up to see Zoro, one hand casually in his pocket, the other laid over your shoulder. 

    “I’m so sorry Mista Zoro! I neva woulda said those things had I known you was here too!” Bartolomeo sobbed on the floor, crawling forward as he reached out to tug on the hem of Zoro’s pants. The man in question just sighed, before leading you away from Bartolomeo. “Y/N, I’m sorry! Ya can have ya job back and everything!” Your old boss pleaded, but something in you was against going back to your old job of being an errand intern for ungrateful coworkers. 

    “‘S alright, they won’t need it.” Confusion must have still been written all over your face, because Zoro simply grinned and continued to lead you off towards a large office. “A new position has just opened up.” He nodded, his three earrings glinting in the sunlight that streamed through the floor to ceiling glass windows that outlined the perimeter of the office building. 

    You couldn’t make heads or tails of what was going on, so you decided to just go along with it. Bartolomeo had decided to fire you, and now Zoro was rehiring you to some position in the security sector. You sighed, and ran a hand through your hair. “So… you’re hiring me in the security division? I don’t have experience with the security side of things.” You spoke up, and Zoro shrugged his shoulders. 

    “No big deal. Don’t need it if you’re gonna be my assistant.” You couldn’t be any more surprised, almost stepping back in your startle. Zoro adjusted, continuing his pace forward to his office, and you watched him walk off in your bewilderment. 

    In the span of two hours, you’d lost your job, gotten rehired, promoted, and were now apparently the personal assistant of one of the most powerful people in a billion dollar company. Something in you was hesitant to follow, but the majority of you was giddy with excitement. 

    “Yes sir!” You called, hurrying to catch up with him, and he just shot you his signature smirk from over his shoulder. 

    You had a feeling things were going to get more exciting around your workplace, even more exciting than being stuck in an elevator with a handsome stranger. 

[archivalofsins]

It is so funny to think about Kazui being a cop.

Even if I personally don't want it to be that because it's funnier to me if he failed to become one. Yet, when I take into consideration Kazui being a cop alongside the cops Yamanaka has written previously,

It's like yeah it would be simple if it was that it wouldn't even be surprising honestly like maybe I'm overcomplicating it.

Yet there's something objectively hilarious about Yamanaka writing not one, not two, but three cops that are criminals or viewed as such. Not even touching on how at that point he really would have just fused these two guys that he made before together just to make Kazui.

I find the idea of him doing that hilarious just from a writing perspective. He really went hmmm soooo nobody really liked Stork... Let me see what would happen if I just mix in a bit of Shota- and then this much Stork there. A little bit of something new right there-

Perfect!

It's peer-reviewed police corruption.

I also like saying that whether Kazui is a cop or not is rather inconclusive because cops are just criminals with badges anyway where I'm from. Even the inkling of being a cop should have ruined this man's reputation harder than Mu's father being a landlord fucked up hers.

Yet people wanted to focus on it being wrong for men to get divorced for some reason that shit was wild. Nobody hit this man with oh my god he's a fucking cop gross, once.

In hindsight it's impressive I didn't see that argument more. He's in here for murder and implied to be a cop but no one raked him over the coals for that shit. There's a timeline where Kazui was called out for being a cop and he got guilty just because that's an indefensible action especially when he's in jail for allegedly killing his wife.

Something that cops are notoriously known for fucking doing where I come from at least.

He even openly states no one outside of here would consider him a murderer in his first interrogation.

"I do. At the very least, I believe I'm a murderer. And I regret it. Not that there's any use to that remorse." Use to you remorse...? "Putting that aside, what even is your source of information? I don't think there are any people other than myself who would consider me a murderer."

"For example, why would someone gather a bunch of acquitted murderers together and try to make them repent? That's something a crazy person would do."

"Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade."

This is at least to me a very funny contrast to Shota if one knows his story. Like the fact that no one would consider Kazui a murderer only he would is just such a stark contrast to the cop Yamanaka wrote right before him that it can only be funny.

It's also just funny to think about the concept of Kazui being a cop in relation to the song Business Man especially these lyrics,

"What do you mean you don't know me I was the best man at your wedding?!" "I'm a bad cop and if you couldn't tell I also killed your wife in that drug cartel."

It's just funny to think about Kazui being a cop because it doesn't make anything he did better at all. In fact when one really thinks of the implications it makes what he did phenomenally worse. In hindsight though his second trial was difficult- Probably a lot more due to this factor than I know- It kind of failed to really touch on things that would have made it even harder for the man to keep treading water at least from what I saw personally.

Didn't get one acab after making Yuno's trial about abortion rights that shit is sad. Not a one...it was just relationship drama for the most part.

[crystalelemental]

Lodge Adaman interactions are up, and...wow, do I have some opinions about it.

Starting with the Pokemon, I do think it's great that Grass is the standard type of the Diamond Clan given Hisuian Lilligant.  I also think it's cool that he's interested in Pokemon Behavior specifically.  Like it's the most interesting aspect to him, even beyond just raising Pokemon himself.  

Items make sense.  I think it's kinda neat that Z-Crystals are listed as points of interest.  Like yeah, these things are cool.  Also he likes Gym Badges.  Has no idea what the fuck a gym is, but the badges are neat.

Friends check out, kinda love that Irida's there, also find it really funny that no one else in Diamond Clan is his friend.  Oh god is this signaling who gets in?  Oh god are they gonna add Melli?  Putting that aside, he's slight friends with Dexio.  ...how?  Is Dexio even on the island?  Elio is also an interesting pick, I don't have enough of a handle on Elio as a character to have a sense for that dynamic.  Being friends with Lyra and Rosa feels like they just picked the grass starter protags, but I could definitely see Rosa getting along with him.  I also like how it's all or nothing.  Either he is absolute friends, or you're like a distant acquaintance, but at no point are you casually friends. Ride or die, bitch.

Hobbies.  My man can cook.  I also love that Time is a hobby.  Like yes, I enjoy the hobby of experiencing time.  Or maybe it's like contemplating time?  Either way, dork.  I do think it's hilarious that Space counts but only slightly, and that apparently the one modern attraction he latched on to was Ferris Wheels.  Get him and N to hang out.

Fashion is whatever, not much to say.

But now I start yellin.  Places.  Why is Lake Verity listed?  Diamond Clan is situated next to Valor, not Verity.  That seems like you just copied Dawn's answer to avoid needing to make a new one.  Also how does he actually know any of these specific places?  Ecruteak?  Melemele?  Fucking Pallet?  He's never been there!  Why would he care?  This feels weird to me. Ecruteak at least checks out because Lore, but I cannot imagine what Pallet Town is offering him.  This was like the one time to have very few listed places, but for some reason they still slapped a bunch in.  Also apparently he is never neutral about anything unless it's in a very specific location.

Others is packed with hilarity and frustration.  First, Impatience is listed as his favorite thing.  I kinda love the commitment to being this way.  Second, Ninjas rank high.  Guess he's a fan of Benny.  Fourth, Pearl Clan is moderate favoritism, which is just kinda comical.  Fifth, one of his Others interests is Fancy Lady.  Cultured.  But the big one.  The one that drives me up a goddamned wall.  Is Space-time distortion.  DeNA.  Listen.  You can't just keep slapping region specific stuff into characters' favorite things list like that.  The entire point of the distortions was that no one liked them and they caused endless problems, the fuck do you mean Adaman loves them?  I'm sorry, this one just feels like complete nonsense.

On the whole, pretty fun spread, but man I really wish they'd put just a little more thought into Lodge choices.  Lake Verity has borderline nothing to do with him, it should be Valor but they didn't want to add another selection so they reused Dawn's.  And the Space-Time Distortion being a favorite is just them over-emphasizing "They love stuff from their region and nothing else!"  It's frustrating.  Just once, I want a character that's like "Yeah, my region blows, but this other region is cool."  So long as it's not Kanto they're bigging up.

[11cleyvaart]

You did a Talon, can you do one on Penny??

This is has been sitting in drafts for a while. Sorry.

I'm assuming you mean my thoughts on Penny? Depending on which one, I mostly just know the 80’s and the 2015 one. I watched the Gadgetinis as a kid but it didn't sink in. 

Um, Penny to me seems like a somewhat spoiled niece at times. In the 1983 show season one, it's shown she gets a lot from her Uncle. He spends an episode trying to keep a plush he won (that's a bomb) to give to her. He takes her to the amusement park twice. Even though he acts he doesn't have enough money when he buys MAD brand groceries, so make up your mind. 

She comes on some of his trips like to NY and Europe, and those are the ones she allowed to go on. I'm sure if he found she went to the places he did without telling him he'd probably freak out. 

He generally gives the care and love she needs, she goes to school. She's fed, she's dressed. She got the dog. 

By the second season, her room has expanded and she now has more toys like the dollhouse, box full of pushes and random wind up cars. And again, given everything. But still a good kid will protect her.

But newer Penny in the 2015 show, now she's supposed to be 14 in this she acts way older than she is. And she's a bit more ungrateful of her uncle's actions. 

He's fed her for years, and then suddenly one episode she wants to tell him he sucks at cooking but is afraid to hurt his feelings. Then he can cook again just fine in later episodes. 

Then she just gets annoyed at him for taking her off a bomb, and goes off on him for being oblivious. Which of course it's water on a duck's back to him. 

He gets sick but all she wants to do is get away from him. She wants to be an agent but doesn't want to go to work every day. She spends way too much time thinking about Talon instead of trying to arrest him. She's occasionally hugged her uncle and said a few nice things to him but mainly she seems to want to distance herself from him at 14. Which is young to want to do that. It is funny to me that everyone dumps on her for being ‘ugly.’ The professor tells her she needs to moisturize her face, Quimby is like ‘holy shit you broke my camera you're so ugly’ on Badge day. And her more focused obsession with fighting, technology and science is a weird thing. Maybe to be more of a ‘see girls can do STEM classes too!’ and she's there to be a push for girls to want to do math and science because people claim it's over run with boys? 

But her obsession with those subjects don't make her any more interesting to me, oh no I said it. I'm not a fan of 2015 Penny, hell it's not even Penny. It's an artificial, blue light special, great value Penny.

At least the Gadgetinis Penny gave me a more believable teenager. She had attitude problems like a tween. 2015 Penny, now is more calm and rational even though she's two years older than Gadgetinis Penny. 

I miss little Penny, she was a good kid. 2015 Penny is a dud to me. 

[ahandfulofm0ss]

Hi

*hands you my Regretevator oc*

Some info stuff under the keep reading

~ His level/floor is a large arcade of which he is an employee of, in charge of running the prize booth (meaning he gives prizes in exhange for tickets).

~ He can enter the elevator, but only if 3 or more players win at least 1 of the (fairly easy) arcade games.

~ These games also reward coins and tickets, which can be saved up to buy prizes at the prize booth.

~ The mouth on his face is purely for aesthetic purposes. His actual mouth which he eats and speaks from is on his stomach, which has purple sharp teeth and a black tongue.

~ He has a impressive collection of fun but random button up shirts which he alternates between wearing to work daily.

~ When he enters the elevator, there's a fair chance he's wearing a fun button up other than his roller rink/arcade carpet button up. For example, yellow with rubber ducks, navy blue with music notes, or a swirly pattern with many pastel colors.

~ He's friends with Gregoriah due to him stopping by the arcade almost daily. They have very good conversations while Kennedy counts his tickets.

~ Infected also stops by the arcade on occasion.

~ He has beans on his hands, with a star-shaped bean in the palm of his hand.

~ Thoughts on other NPC's: He finds Split and Poob funny and nice, Pest moody and annoying, Pilby quiet but kind, finds Bive a little weird, he's neutral toward Mark and Wallter (especially since he sometimes gets trapped with them in the elevator when they're arguing), he hates Gnarpy, also hates MR, neutral leaning on good thoughts on DrRETRO due to her healing him when he gets injured, he sees Infected as a cool dude, neutral toward Enphoso, also neutral towards Emerson (the drive thru guy)

~ Whenever Mark and Wallter start arguing while he's in the elevator, he has to resist the urge to do some random shit to lighten the mood. Shit like saying "the girls are fighting", "girls, girls, you're both pretty", stuff like that.

~ He leaves on the floors Fun Flood At Squishy's, Shop Space, Slide 4 Admin, and Underground Subway.

~ His humor is mostly inappropriate jokes.

~ His favorite food is cheese pizza with barbecue sauce and pieces of steak on it, specifically with garlic butter flavored crust.

~ He also controls the music for the speakers of the arcade. His only rule for music is nothing explicitly innapropriate.

~ He also puts hours of silence interrupted by random meme sound effects along with it for shits and giggles.

~ While there's barely anyone at the arcade, he vibes to the music he plays, laughing his ass off about the random meme sounds.

~ He has a little collection of random pins he puts along with his employee badge on his shirt. His collection so far is; a smiley face pin, a transmasc pride pin, a queer pride pin, a "I tried" star pin, a arcade token he turned into a pin, a red uno reverse card pin, and a small assortment of enamel pins with the faces of other NPC's on them (the ones he has so far are Reddy, Split, Gregoriah, and Poob).

~ He occasionally ties up a part of his hair to keep it out of his face.

~ He likes putting stickers on his face. Mostly stars and smiley faces.

~ Him and Gregoriah have matching bracelets. Gregoriah's is red, black, and cyan with yellow glittery star beads and "Gregor" in letter beads. Kennedy's is black, white, and purple with clear glittery star beads and "Kenne" in letter beads.

~ His design/character in general is based on one time I did a "make your weirdcore oc challenge" I found on tiktok.

~ He doesn't enjoy drinking without a straw as it gets his drink spilled on his shirt 9 times outta 10, so to hydrate while on the job, he will munch on straight up ice cubes for hydration. Yes, you heard me right. Straight up ice cubes.

~ Sometimes, he'll put pieces of fruit in the ice cubes to make it more enjoyable.

~ His favorite candies are Reese's and Jolly Ranchers (specifically the grape and blue raspberry).

[incorrect-joseimuke]

TKRB Incorrect Quotes: Osafune Tachis Special

Jikkyuu: When was the last time you cried?

Fuku: Uh 15 minutes ago, why??

Jikkyuu: really? That recent?

Fuku: Yeah *voice crack* is that an issue? *starts crying again*

Fuku to Shoku: You should get a girlfriend.

Jikkyuu: Or boyfriend, he's bi.

Jikkyuu: Fuku, I'm sad.

Fuku: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.

Daihannya: Azuki, I'm sad.

Azuki: We're all sad Daihannya.

Fuku: Shoku, if you feel sad too you could always come to oniichan—

Shoku: No.

Fuku: Why are you on the floor?

Jikkyuu: I'm depressed.

Fuku: *Lies down on the floor next to Jikkyuu* Damn, me too.

Azuki: You often use sarcasm to deflect trauma.

Daihannya: Thank you.

Azuki: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Daihannya: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

Daihannya: I made tea.

Azuki: I don’t want tea.

Daihannya: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Azuki: Then why are you telling me?

Daihannya: It is a conversation starter.

Azuki: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Daihannya: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Saniwa to the Osafune tachis: Your problem won't go away if you kept drowning yourselves in your own hobbies.

Koryuu: Shut up aruji! We can at least try!

Fuku: Since I’m leaving for a while, I’ve left you all a complimentary bowl of advice.

Shoku, pulling a note out the bowl: This just says ‘Jikkyuu don’t touch that’.

Koryuu: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it. 

Daihannya: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side. 

Azuki: OH MY GOD! IT'S JUST A COOKIE!

Koryuu: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.  

Daihannya: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. 

Azuki: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Jikkyuu: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio- 

Shoku, already getting a migraine: Okay, that one is a little- 

Fuku, interested: No, no, Jikkyuu, keep going.

Azuki: Remember what I told you. 

Daihannya: Don’t be a cunt.

Jikkyuu: Hello, I'm Jikkyuu Mitsutada. I just appeared in this Citadel. Here to help. Look, the Saniwa gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget it. Very helpful. Since I have amnesia.

Daihannya: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

*The Osafune tachis are digging Osaka Castle*

Jikkyuu: Maybe the true treasure was the familial bond we made along the way.

Daihannya: I hope not, because I can’t spend familial bond on new clothes.

[itwoodbeprefect]

911 season 7 episode 2:

we know this man waving a gun around and shooting people is eeeeevil because he says lady captain.

mr. cruise director has the dongle! because he's eeeeevil too. or at least stupid

fjdk i was expecting them to pull a "i'm not a medical doctor" with how this guy was acting, but no, he IS a gp, it's just that for the drama we need bobby to have to tackle this alone

asshole driver: "are you important? do you matter?" fjkdfd. cool it with the existential questions, my guy

"you come at me again, i'll have your badge." "i'm not a police officer." "a- and you won't be anymore either!" smooth save! well done! also love that when chimney says he's not police we see him just turning away from giving hen a confused Look. besties!

ah, of course we need to give hen a guilt complex over a choice she makes as captain.

having a firefighter be in charge of taking care of your gunshot wound is really...... gambling with your life! ba-dum tss!

bobby answering to "are you happy?" with "yeah. yeah, i am." somewhat bafflingly had me close to tearing up. god, i love that for him.

said "nooo" out loud when machine room man followed the cable and opened the door. the poor guy did not deserve that :(

anyway, a bomb! if only starsky and hutch had been on this boat doing tense homoerotic bomb collection in weirdly long sweaty scenes, this could all have been prevented

not at ALL the point here (everything is sad and awkward in understandable ways, i'm not getting into it), but this is such a gorgeous jacket

guy who desperately wants his chips cashed out: "did we hit an iceberg or something?" fjdkfd. do you think they ever play titanic in cruise ship movie theaters, or is that a subtly banned sort of movie? also, second titanic reference in two episodes, together with the comment athena's therapist made! can we get three?

i know the wife guy trope has fallen out of favor, but. bobby is doing it very well.

SO annoying that athena doesn't pick up her phone while she's on a sinking cruise ship taking on duties that the injured captain can't perform. >:(

fdjkf i love that karen is absolutely right when she tells hen that athena and bobby's cruise is going to be totally fine and there's nothing to worry about, except this is the world of People Who Are Involved In Big Giant Emergencies Every Two Weeks, so hen, in worrying way too much, is the one who's actually right. these two episodes are just married couples with one partner WAY overreacting in a way that turns out to be Correct. if things keep going this way in a few more seasons they might start to figure out they're main characters.

now bobby is WET and still looking for his wife. the universe just doesn't want to give this man the normal sweet honeymoon he was trying to have.

"where is she?" "saving the ship." "of course she is." tired wet middle aged golden retriever man considers wishing his wife were a little less heroic: part [insert number here].

fjdkfd. hen on her hunch going straight to the 911 call center, my god.

"you wanted an activity we could do together." taking a wild guess, i'd say this wasn't on bobby's list, but at least you've got some nice mood lighting

they ARE getting me with the bobby/athena scene here. they absolutely are.

also. i can't not think about due south mountie on the bounty at least a little bit. truly impossible not to do that

fjdkfd. always nice if you're a fictional character who does terrible things and then gets a very dramatic chance to prove you're maybe also an okay person

the chief going "YOU can't find their cruise ship?" seems like a deeply correct sort of response to me

fjdjfkdjk. hen looking shocked and upset when the chief tells her that the los angeles fire department isn't responsible for actively looking for ships that haven't sent out any sign of distress and are in an area they're not responsible for in the middle of the ocean, which is also not the fire department's usual sort of thing... that's very funny, very 911.

"i really don't feel like being second-guessed right now" says hen, while following a slightly insane hunch that could cost her her job and probably deserves a little second-guessing. or one-and-a-half-guessing, at least. love you so much, hen, but the only reason this will work out is because you've got writers behind you.

fdjkfdjkfdfd. of COURSE a man had to drop onto the (very pretty!) skylight after the boat turns upside down. we can't be told about a goofy thing athena fears because it happened in a tv movie and then NOT have that pay off at the end of the next episode! wonderful, i love it, this is huge dramatic 911 nonsense at its best. <3