#at least i know one person in there?? but. scared

[jenscx]

DAYDREAMIN’ — kim minjeong x f!reader

being forced to marry someone was lunacy, or at least minjeong thought so. how could a mere stranger be her lifelong partner? it was simply impossible (well, not until you came along).

TAGS — fluff, pinch of angst, arranged marriage!au, ceo!minjeong, cold!minjeong, strangers to lovers, making out at the end, silly!yn

WORDCOUNT — 3.8k

you rub your hands gingerly around the ceramic mug filled with warm tea. your footsteps resound against the cold hardwood floors, the sound dampened by the fluffy dog slippers you were wearing. finally reaching the door at the end of the hallway, you take a deep breath and peer into the room through the crack left open.

“winter?” you whisper, scared to alert the girl working tirelessly at her desk. the woman perks up, an eyebrow raised as she shoots daggers at your cowering figure.

“yes?” her voice remains steely, cold.

the mug in your hands feels cooler than before.

“i made you some tea, it’s chamomile,” you say, nervously taking small steps closer to her. minjeong stands up from her desk, eyebrows furrowed and an annoyed look remains on her face.

she reaches out a hand to take the mug, her face scrunching as she feels the warmth of the mug.

“thank you,” minjeong replies quietly, taking her seat at the desk again. nodding, you turn around to leave. as your fingers swirl around the door knob, you hear minjeong’s aloof voice, “knock the next time you come in.”

your head swerves around.

“yes, winter.”

at the corner of your eye, you spot minjeong’s satisfied smile as she sips on the tea happily. an unfamiliar feeling blooms in your chest. it’s almost akin to pride. due to minjeong’s usual unfriendly and aloof nature, making her smile was abnormal. all you could do was savour the moment and go on with your day.

meanwhile, minjeong leans back in her office chair, taking in small gulps of the tea as her free hand works busily on the keyboard. she scrolls down, eyes catching the stray title of an email.

‘re: invitation to dinner.’

her eyes narrow warily. clicking on the email, minjeong reads the rough synopsis. after doing so, her hand inches towards her phone, dialling her father’s number hastily. for a few moments, the phone continues ringing. minjeong almost gives up until he finally picks up.

“good evening, it is quite late, minjeong.”

minjeong rolls her eyes. “i know but i wanted to tell you this in person. i do not want to attend that dinner.”

her father makes a noise of indignation.

“it is an obligation. you cannot reject this.”

“i can and i will, father. you have made me marry into a loveless marriage and you still want more?” minjeong questions incredulously, “i am afraid i do not have more to give. on sunday i will have a business meeting to attend instead. i am not available.”

the man on the phone sighs, “it does not matter. you have agreed to the principles of the situation. the union between our families have helped your company tremendously, have they not?”

minjeong scowls, but she does not deny that the marriage has helped her company flourish, “it was barely an agreement, more of a forceful acknowledgement.”

“then acknowledge this once more,” her father’s voice becomes more and more stern, “she is your wife. not a maid, not a random person who has barged into your life.” minjeong disagrees. you were quite literally a random person who barged into your life.

“does she not treat you well? do you not have the basic courtesy to show your own gratitude? or are you going to remain as cold as people make you out to be?” her father hits a soft spot. if there was one thing winter hated, it would be people judging her based on her looks. she admits, she does look rather unwelcoming at times. but treating her own wife as such, wasn’t that proof of her unfriendliness?

you hadn’t treated her badly, but she can sense the fear in your eyes whenever you interact with her, scared that somehow she’ll treat you like a stranger. it feels nice that even with your fear, you still try your best to make the most out of this situation. minjeong should do the same. it’s only basic courtesy, as her father said.

“i am sure that the girl we have chosen for you will make a good wife. this will not be a loveless marriage if you open your eyes.”

“fine,” minjeong says through gritted teeth, “i’ll see you on sunday.”

“of course you will. good night, minjeong.”

“good night, father.”

you could say it was the best sleep you’ve ever had. finally relieved the burden of annoying winter, you went to bed content and calm. stretching out your arms, you gaze at the clock hung on the wall. it was barely eight and minjeong was still awake at one when you visited her. maybe you could make breakfast for her before she wakes up.

huffing with determination, you get out of bed and ready yourself. after taking a shower, you head down the stairs, eyes squinting at the figure in the living room.

“good morning,” minjeong says quietly. she’s sitting on the couch, watching the news. you’re stunned at the sudden appearance of her. you didn’t expect that she would be awake at this time.

“good morning,” you finally respond, conscious of the way your cheeks burned. minjeong paid you no mind like always. walking towards the kitchen, your eyes widen at the food spread out on the kitchen island. you hear footsteps approaching behind you.

her voice reaches your ears gently, “thank you for the tea last night. i made you breakfast as a thank you.”

“ah…” you can’t stop yourself from smiling, “thank you.” even though you can spot some edges of the toast being burnt, you felt gratitude simmering at minjeong’s kind action.

taking a bite of the toast, you resist the urge to grimace at the smoky taste. minjeong looked genuinely concerned for her cooking skills. you reassure her by putting up a thumbs up. the tips of her lips twitch ever so slightly but you consider it a win.

as you’re devouring your breakfast, minjeong clears her throat. you turn to her, cheeks stuffed with bread.

“are you available on sunday?” she asks, “my father has arranged a dinner with our families.”

you try to recall if you had anything going on.

“yeah, i think i’m free.”

minjeong nods.

“what restaurant are we going to?” you ask.

your wife shrugs, “probably a random restaurant in a hotel. my father likes those.”

“don’t you have a meeting on that day though?”

minjeong’s eyes nearly protrude out of her head. “how do you know that?”

you laugh, “i saw your business calendar. it’s with sung hanbin’s company right?”

“yes,” minjeong notes your expectant look and adds on, “we’re discussing a potential partnership. he has a branch in china and we were considering expanding there.”

your genuine interest catches her off guard, “oh yeah! zhanghao! we have mutual friends.” minjeong hums. maybe your mutual friendship could help her company.

“interesting.”

you finish up your last piece of toast, letting out a pleased sigh. minjeong chuckles but the moment is disrupted by a notification ringing from her phone.

as she’s reading, her eyebrows furrow again. you withstand from smoothening them out.

“what’s up?”

minjeong groans, “stupid aeri wants me to go get dog food for her pets. cooper and lily are apparently protesting against the new kibble she bought for them.”

your eyes light up.

“do you want to go get it together? i wanna visit cooper and lily too,” you hastily inject, scared that minjeong would sense your excitement on spending one-on-one time with her.

“sure, whatever. i can’t believe she’s is too lazy to get it herself.”

you giggle, “gigi’s probably just hanging out with somi or ning.”

minjeong bites the inside of her cheek hearing you call her friends using nicknames. it makes her stomach twist uncomfortably. you only knew aeri and yizhuo after meeting them at the engagement party, one that minjeong was unaware of. she had arrived home after a long day at work and right smack in the living room was a three-tier cake with balloons surrounding it. her friends had sprayed her with confetti and startled by the noise, you had rushed down from your room, thinking someone had broken in with the way minjeong was yelling.

it would have been funny if minjeong wasn’t the victim of a near heart attack. but after that, you had so easily started conversing with her friends, blending into their group seamlessly. maybe she was jealous of the way you managed to befriend people so easily while it took her a long time to open up to somebody. or maybe she was jealous that you were talking to them instead of her with that pretty smile of yours—

“right,” she mutters. unaware of minjeong’s inner turmoil, you beam brightly at her, “let’s go now if you’re ready?”

“yes, i’m ready. let’s head out now.” minjeong should rid herself of these weird thoughts.

you smile again. minjeong’s heart nearly stops. perhaps she’s going crazy.

“are you driving? or is mr lee driving us?” you ask as you put on your shoes. minjeong twirls the car keys in her hand, showing it off to you.

“you’ve never driven me before, are you sure i’m safe?” you tease. minjeong’s face turns a sheen of light pink, you think it’s adorable.

“i’m an excellent driver,” she states. you nudge her in the ribs as she walks to the garage.

she squirms cutely away from your attacks. you can conclude that your wife is ticklish.

or maybe everything she does is suddenly cute to you.

“how long is it going to take?” you ask while entering the car.

“around ten minutes, not long,” minjeong starts the engine, turning to you with a look of frustration.

next, she does something completely unimaginable.

reaching over your lap, she pulls the seatbelt down, fastening it for you. your cheeks instantly turn a bright red at her close proximity. you can almost feel her warmth, so unlike the coldness she exudes. it makes your heart flutter.

“do you normally not fasten your seatbelt? it’s dangerous,” she states, disapproval written on her face.

“i forgot about it,” you scoff, “but where did you learn how to flirt like that?”

minjeong temporarily pauses, eyes enlarged, “flirt?”

“you made my heart race,” you sigh, “c’mon, reaching over me to help me put on my seatbelt? that’s a k-drama move.”

your wife turns crimson. her icy exterior finally melts away.

“i— that wasn’t on purpose!” she splutters, turning back to focus on driving. if she doesn’t stop reacting so cutely, you might never stop teasing her.

you understand now why jimin had said she liked teasing minjeong for her reaction.

meanwhile, minjeong tries to calm herself down. she wasn’t flirting right? she was just trying to look out for your safety! if something happens, she wouldn’t want to take the blame for it.

maybe her heart did race when she leaned over you, but anyone’s heart would do the same! close proximity of another person always made her nervous.

noting minjeong’s pink cheeks, you decide to give her a break and instead start shuffling the songs in her playlist. humming to them throughout the ride, it makes the drive duration considerably shorter as minutes after, minjeong parks the car.

“we’re here,” she announces. after getting out of the car, you stare at minjeong, wondering when you got so bold with your teasing. normally, you would never dare to do this to her, scared of her reaction. but with the morning’s conversation and her changed personality, you were no longer afraid of her cold and aloof words.

“is this the brand aeri wants?” minjeong asks, pointing to a large bag of kibble seated on the shelf. you try to recall.

“i think so, she mentioned it before.”

minjeong nods. you try to pull it off the shelf, but the sheer size of it makes you tumble. warm, large hands immediately reach out to steady you, holding your body with care that you’ve never felt in your life.

“a-ah…”

your wife retracts her hands, but instead of putting them at her side, she places them on your shoulders, “are you okay?”

unable to say words without your voice shaking, you settle for a nod. minjeong removes her hands and takes the bag from you.

“be careful next time. let me carry the heavy things.”

you only follow her like a puppy. aeri better appreciate the kibble after all the heart attacks you’ve been through. first fastening your seatbelt, then doing this? was minjeong some sort of play girl that knew how to play with people’s feelings?

“—hey,” she flicks your forehead, “are you listening to me?” you stumble back at the impact, wincing from the pain. pouting, you ask, “what were you saying?”

“i was asking you if you knew what to wear on sunday.”

“oh, i haven’t decided yet.” minjeong takes her card out to pay. as you wonder about your outfit, the cashier swiftly bags the kibble and bows, “thank you! and you two make a cute couple.”

your eyes turn as large as saucers. minjeong stops, but sends a timid smile, “thank you.”

she carries the bag in one hand and grabs you with the other, leading you out of the store. if it weren’t for the interaction between minjeong and the cashier, you would applaud your wife’s strength.

“what was that?” you blurt out as you settle into the car.

“hm? are we not a cute couple?”

you can’t deny that.

minjeong laughs, a heavenly sound that you would cherish for the rest of your life.

your wife was a mystery, you admit. maybe you would be the one to solve her.

between the impromptu errand and the sunday dinner, your bond with minjeong had considerably become closer. slowly but surely, she was no longer stiff and reserved but rather… silly. her actions were strange and eccentric but in an endearing way. you couldn’t help but find her cute. with a stronger friendship, you learnt many things about your wife. apparently she was allergic to tomatoes, which is a fact you stored in your memory in case you cooked for her.

she also liked harry styles a lot. you feel rather envious the way her eyes light up and her smile stretches whenever she hears his music. her family is from busan and sometimes when she calls her mother, you hear hints of her busan accent slip out. minjeong had revealed that she slowly weakened her accent when talking to people in seoul, scared they wouldn’t understand her. after you complimented how attractive and sweet it sounded, minjeong started using it more.

you had also moved into minjeong’s room. after falling asleep in her bed countless times watching dramas, minjeong had just moved your clothes in hers. it was comforting having a warm body to cuddle up to. minjeong didn’t seem to mind anyway.

“winter,” you call out, “does this look nice?” another new development. normally, when you two used to go for family dinners and meetings, you would just put on any other dress and call it a day. but now, ever since winter had made an offhand comment about matching clothes, you decided to call for her opinion. minjeong was forced to sit on the bed and wait for you. as you twirl out of the walk-in closet, minjeong gapes.

“that looks,” minjeong gulps, “great.” you turn to her, grinning, “you look good too.” she stands up and fixes stray strands of your hair.

“you smell nice,” you remark, taking in minjeong’s scent. it was all over her. from the crook of her neck to her fingertips.

“it’s jo malone, jimin unnie recommended it to me.”

you perk up, “blackberry and bay, right? she told me to buy it too.”

minjeong scratches her nape, “i was just trying something new today.” you adore her timid and shy personality. behind all that coldness was just a soft and bashful girl.

she leads you to the car, opening it and greeting the chauffeur inside. you adjust the strap of your black dress. minjeong notices and helps you, leaving lingering hot touches on your shoulders.

the warmth of her hands makes blood rush up to your neck. you silently pray minjeong doesn’t notice the redness residing there.

“mrs kim, we have arrived,” the chauffeur says. minjeong opens the car door, assisting you in getting out. you enjoy the feel of her hand in yours.

“woah,” you gasp at the size of the hotel. minjeong groans, “i hope he hasn’t booked a room here for us.”

you smile, cheekily poking her in the ribs, “it would be fun staying here alone.”

“sure,” she snorts as you enter the hotel, beelining to the restaurant. the waitress at the front leads you two into a private room near the back and minjeong internally groans at how her father stares at your intertwined hands.

you take a seat, pulling minjeong to sit down beside you.

“you’ve finally warmed up, haven’t you?” minjeong’s father whispers.

she remains silent, unwilling to admit that somehow, you have managed to gnaw at the walls surrounding her heart, capturing it for yourself to keep. and somehow, it is so unlike her, that she wants you to keep it.

“how has marriage been treating you?” your mother asks.

you answer, “winter is really sweet to me. it’s nice being married.”

“winter?” your wife’s mother repeats. she turns to minjeong, aghast, “you do not let her call you ‘minjeong’?”

your wife, equally alarmed, instantly denies it, “of course not. we just aren’t used to calling each other’s names so casually.”

“but you are married.”

you mentally curse yourself for forgetting about how you still don’t call minjeong by her birth name.

“you mean to say that you aren’t close enough to drop the honorifics?” her father asks. minjeong repeatedly shakes her head.

“we are close, we just haven’t called each other by our names yet.” at this point, minjeong is digging your graves.

“no pet names either? back when your mother and i were first married, we had all sorts of names for each other! like ‘honeyboo’, ‘sweetheart’—”

you interrupt loudly, “okay, dad! we get it!”

minjeong’s hand slithers back into yours, gripping onto it for comfort.

“we’ll sort all these out later, but can we just eat first please? i’m starving.” your parents compose themselves while minjeong’s father glares at her.

your wife lets out a relieved sigh after they stop interrogating you.

“i’m sorry about that,” you mutter to her.

she looks at you, eyes gleaming with something akin to affection from below her long eyelashes, “it’s okay. we should have dropped the formalities long ago.”

“right,” you test it out, “minjeong.”

her eyes crinkle.

minjeong’s father eyes you weirdly.

“so,” he starts out, smirking, “you are finally attached to her?” minjeong groans. you had left to go to the washroom and her father decided to start questioning her.

“i realised that you are right.” no matter how shameful it is to admit, minjeong’s father was right. “i do like her.”

he grins proudly.

“have you told her?”

minjeong shakes her head. it’s ironic, the fact that you are married yet haven’t even confessed your affection to one another. it’s like you’re doing everything backwards.

“that’s fine, i booked a hotel room here specifically since i knew you would admit it,” he hands her the keycard. she nods.

your parents smile softly at minjeong. she feels a rush of affection at the familiar faces.

“thank you for treating our daughter well. she seems happy.”

“of course,” minjeong whispers.

the door swings open, you take your seat beside minjeong. she flashes you a grin, shaking the keycard in hand. you remember what she said about her father booking a room. laughter bubbles out of your throat.

“i think we’re done here for the night,” minjeong’s father says, “thank you for joining us tonight. let’s meet again soon.”

slowly, the group disperses, leaving you with just minjeong at the hotel lobby.

“shall we go up?”

the room is stunning to say the least. at the top of the building, it hosts a wonderful view of the city skyline. it’s even more gorgeous with kim minjeong standing in the centre of it. you didn’t get to tell her before but she looks absolutely jaw-dropping in a lavish, thin-strapped, dress. her brown hair complementing the white dress. it cinched at her waist, highlighting it, tempting you to wrap your arms around it.

“it’s beautiful,” minjeong exclaims, leaning over the balcony railings to gaze at the view. you slowly inch towards her.

“you’re more beautiful.”

even facing away, you catch sight of her rosy cheeks. it’s simply adorable.

“stop teasing me,” she whines.

“what?” you laugh, “i didn’t get to tell you properly but you really are the most gorgeous girl ever. i nearly fainted when i saw you.”

“me too,” she mumbles. you barely hear her. finally giving into the temptation, you sneak your hands around her waist, pulling her body flush into yours.

her soft gasp makes your head dizzy.

“y/n,” she whispers, making goosebumps rise up on your skin. you’re still not used to her calling your name.

“yes, minjeong?”

she spins around, hands grabbing at your shoulders for support. it sends shivers down your spine.

“i think,” she noses at your cheek affectionately, “i could get used to this married thing.”

“yeah?”

she hums.

you reach for her jaw, caressing it softly.

“you’re too cute, mindoongie. ah, i really like you. what should i do, hm?”

minjeong giggles.

“i really like you too.”

“mindoongie, my ice princess,” you sigh, leaning your forehead onto hers, “you’re just a softie after all.”

“only for you, y/nnie.”

you conclude your experiment. minjeong is indeed soft everywhere. her lips, as light as a feather, sends tingles throughout your body. unintentionally, your lips part for minjeong to slowly slip her tongue into your mouth. it feels like it’s meant to be the way your lips mould perfectly into each other. hands grasping for any more warmth minjeong could provide, you only pull her in even closer, savouring her taste.

every nip, every suck, it lights a fire of desire and affection in you. if being married to minjeong meant that you could do this every day, every hour, every second, it would be a dream come true.

eventually, you feel minjeong smile through the kiss and she pulls away, gasping to catch her breath.

“wow,” you say, eyes wide and chest heaving. minjeong’s no better. she guffaws and drops her head onto your shoulder.

“shut up.”

“who knew mindoongie was such a casanova? hey, let’s do that again.”

your wife turns away, cheeks blazing.

“i like you so much, y/n.”

you sigh, relishing in the after effects of minjeong herself. being married wasn’t so bad after all.

“i really like you too, minjeong.”

[maxwell-grant]

There's a trend people have pointed out in superhero stories over the past 20 or so years that is the death of "regular" supporting casts, an increasing absence of un-powered sidekicks or people involved who aren't in the thick of the action or in the hero's secret. Everyone who interacts with superheroes is a couple issues away from becoming one, every story involves a supervillain encounter or several dozen, every hero's gotta have a lunchbox-ready "superhero family" made from these characters, and every side character that doesn't join them is either going to die or become a supervillain.

The defining example people use for this is Spider-Man's supporting cast, with every Spider-Man cast member short of Aunt May and J Jonah Jameson getting some kind of powered upgrade or symbiote, and I'm gonna say Amanda Waller is an excellent case study of how this kind of thing happens, and I think it helps to explain why Amanda Waller has been, Like That, for the past 30 years.

She’s wearing a grey shirt underneath a blue blazer and it’s tucked into a similarly blue skirt that stops at mid calf. She reminds me of the neighbourhood aunties I used to see leaving for church every Sunday morning.

My mom used to say that you are the company you keep. So what kind of person does it take to keep a variety of bruised, battered, and dangerous personalities in check? - Amanda Waller: DC's Most Terrifying Woman

To those of you who haven't read John Ostrander and Kim Yale's Suicide Squad, there once was a time where Amanda Waller was something more than a powerful antagonistic force able to butt heads with the biggest superheroes, and something other than a heartless establishment face out to make superheroes miserable for ill-defined reasons. Structurally speaking, Suicide Squad is a comic about marginal DCU characters forced to deal with actual real life problems, and it's central character is a marginalized person forced to deal with DCU problems and characters. The members of the Squad are a rolling parade of costumed misfits and maniacs assigned to go around the globe to fight and kill and die on dirty missions to deal with dirty laundry and stop war zones from erupting, while Amanda Waller is forced to shuffle around her cadre of D-list supervillains and disgraced superheroes and get into stand-offs with secret spy societies, living nukes, voodoo cartels, and Batman.

Amanda Waller neither looks nor acts like the kind of character that stars in a superhero comic, and she is the central character throughout the 66 issues of the run and we follow her character arc from beginning to end as she's forced to spin plates to accomplish her goals and prevent bad situations from getting worse. She is the most fully realized character in the run and everything rests on her shoulders. We spend a lot of time inside her head, her team, her associates, she is the center holding together an extremely chaotic book with no two characters on the same page. She is, and has to be, an extremely powerful person, someone who stands her ground no matter what, an unbeatable force of will because that is the only way she's going to survive the situations she's in, the only way she can be "The Wall", the kind of person who can repel Batman, command a platoon of monsters, talk her way out of Deadshot's contract, someone who can stare at Darkseid and credibly threaten the President into letting her live.

That's the part that everyone is more or less familiar. But there is, or at least used to be, much more to Amanda Waller than just being The Wall, not in the least because being The Wall is also hampering her effectiveness as well as straight up killing her.

"Amanda's toughness has taken her a long way" "It's taken her as far as it can. But it can't take her no further. It's actually starting to drag her down. I'm scared for my baby sister, rev - scared that the anger in her is congealing into hate." - Suicide Squad #31

We get to know her backstory, her plans, her points of contention with the system, her relationships with people around her, and how deeply she cares about things and people even as she sends them to the meatgrinder. From the start we learn that Waller staffs her team with people she's prone to getting into disagreements with, like Simon LaGrieve and Rick Flag, specifically so they can cover her moral blind spots and pick up the slack in emotional intelligence she's lacking, be the heroes that she can't afford to be. It is unspeakably crucial that the Squad is led by Rick Flag as well as Bronze Tiger, a fallen hero who owes Waller for his recovery who eventually takes Flag's baton. Waller stands up for her team, gets into fights with her superiors when they decide to terminate them, and takes the fall for them when necessary. Waller is a person who does Bad Things - but she is not a Bad Person.

The book in no uncertain terms frames the Suicide Squad's existence as monstrous in a scale Waller doesn't understand until the very end, and it digs deep into the unethical things Waller has to allow for and perpetrate in order to keep it running no matter how many lives it saves, and she spends the first half of the book on a downward spiral. But then there's the 2nd half of the book:

In the first 39 issues, Amanda’s flaws are her undoing. As she pushes away the people she hired to act as a balance, she grasped tighter and tighter to her uncompromised vision of the Suicide Squad despite the constant changes and derailment. Her choices had consequences: the death of Rick Flag, her demotion, employees quitting, and finally, the disbandment of the team.

The last 27 issues have Amanda rising up from the ashes after a year in jail. She’s less in her own way – she communicates, her anger isn’t driving her, she’s more receptive of alternative perspective and recognizes when she’s wrong in real time – but she’s still just as scary.

Waller rebuilds her relationships with the people she drove away, takes a different tack to how the team works, and starts going out into the frontlines with the Squad. She brings Oracle (who actually made her debut in this comic) into the fold, saves her life and plays a big role in Barbara making progress in overcoming her Joker trauma. She genuinely puts in the work to improve as a person and do things a better way than before, even if there is an inescapable immorality to the very existence of the Squad and what they do. That immorality never goes away, and it only further horrifies her when learning how badly her project has gone. In fact, it's that very inescapable immorality that ends her arc.

She learns that the CIA has started using a new Suicide Squad to support a brutal regime in South America, and when faced with the full extent of her complicity in Western imperialism? She decides right then and there to end the Suicide Squad for good after they liberate the population of said regime from said Squad. She is the only person who gives a shit about the country enough to start the assignment for free once she knows about it, force the Squad along, lead the mission in field, and personally (and even gently) usher the villain to his death at the end, to end what began with her.

She does bad things, and she does good things. She cares about people, and she uses people. Her decisions ruin as well as save the world. She spins a million plates to match wills and wits with the strongest, wickedest, most cunning humans and superhumans alike, and she still has superiors to answer to and people close to her she hires to judge her for what she does. She endured racism and misogyny and poverty for decades and rode whatever she could to attain as much power over her own life as someone like her could possibly attain, and to have it, she must be a willing tool of the state and bend the knee to Ronald Reagan, the man she derides for what he did to her community, hating every minute of it.

She lost her family to sexual and racial violence, and now she wrangles a penal battalion comprised of some of the worst people on the planet to inflict violence on her orders. She has saved and redeemed people, and she's haunted by the corpses she's left in her wake. She is oppressed and oppressor, someone who could only escape the ravages of American imperialism by becoming one of it's chief enforcers, and still she rebuilds herself into a better person from it upon confronting and challenging her role in it. She is not a bad person, she is not a good person either, she is just afforded a degree of agency and complexity unpowered characters in superhero books simply don't get.

Okay cool, now what is she up to these days?

That, I guess. That is what a strong but unpowered person who does not allow themselves to be bossed around by superheroes or supervillains looks like now. Everytime there's a call for a military bad guy, Waller gets tagged in to be DC's Henry Gyrich. There was a point where Waller was made to contrast the likes of Sarge Steel and Wade Eiling, someone who butted heads with them because she was a well-meaning person working for and committing evil as often as she attempted to stop it. These days, the most consistent beat with her is that she is the most dangerous person alive and worse than the villains she wrangles into working for her. She is a thing to be overcome, a hypocrite to be exposed, a challenge to the natural order of the universe, and she is too terrific at it to be shuffled off quietly. She is a Bad Person and so everything she says and does is Bad (and thus can be ignored).

Integral to Suicide Squad's structure was the fact that Waller was the center holding everything together, the ultimate third party: spinning plates working with, for and against all of the others so she can bend rules and be bent by them. Bent, but never broken, because The Wall doesn't break, others break first. Waller was a one-of-a-kind character, and that broke her, because beating Sarge Steel and Wade Eiling at their own game means replacing Sarge Steel and Wade Eiling. Waller doesn't look like them, she doesn't look like the superheroes either, and so she can't be one of them. She can't even look like herself a lot of the time, they try to slim her up everytime they think they can get away with it.

Suicide Squad was preoccupied with exploring a perspective from a world outside the superhero worldview, but we no longer have her perspective or that of people around her, we only know her through the superheroes she inherently defies and has had an adversarial relationship against from day one. She is someone with a viewpoint that is charitable to neither superheroes nor institutions, and thus, the universe is increasingly less sympathetic to her, the less utility she has to the grander narrative where everyone has to pick between one of two options. If she wasn't powerful and assertive, she'd be another Leslie Thompkins, another Jiminy Cricket the heroes passively ignore. But because she is powerful and doing morally compromised things without asking Batman's permission, she must have a personal grudge. She must be a government monster. She must attack the superheroes for no reason, no ideology, no motive.

So now she's just The Wall 24/7, the mean icy establishment boot who is strong and clever and cruel and hates superheroes and wants to destroy superheroes and rule the world from the shadows. Everything she does is a fuck-up she refuses to take responsability for, everyone is right to hate and distrust mean old Waller, and now everyone gets to look good by dunking on her. They couldn't make her a superhero, so they made her a generic supervillain instead. And now that she's a bad guy, she no longer has to believe anything, she doesn't really have to mean anything, they don't have to write stories about something other than superheroes and supervillains, and they don't have to let a fat woman of color take up space and screentime they could be giving to Harley Quinn and Slade Wilson instead.

Even by the time of Waller's debut on the tail end of the 80s, her career opportunities were on their way to extinction

Days Of Future Past marks the triumph of the superhero comic that's pretty much concerned with no-one but superheroes. Where Ditko and Lee's Spider-Man featured a single costumed crimefighter in the context of a commonplace existence, the X-Men of the 80s focused on a huge cast of mutants who had little if any lasting involvement in the everyday world.

By the 21st century, the corporate superhero comic would largely - if not exclusively - concern itself with little beyond a large class of superhumans and their fantastical existence. I suspect there's a significant correlation between that and the continuing cultural  peripherilisation of the superhero comic - Colin Smith

Amanda Waller is one of the strongest characters in all of comics, she was as powerful as an non-superpowered character given center stage could possibly be, a perfectly designed character from which an entire corner of a shared universe was developed out of with her as the center making it work, but as the room for civilian casts and unpowered protagonists got smaller and smaller, so did Waller's options. If she was a Spider-Man character and somehow didn't get killed or made into a villain, they would have slimmed her up and given her a symbiote, because you're nobody unless you're web-swinging. Characters didn't look or act like Amanda Waller, and unfortunately, they still don't. It's just instead of making more characters like her, they gutted Waller to be more like the rest. If she couldn't make it, who else even could.

Keep your eyes peeled for this summer when she'll team up with two meaningless robot baddies to burn down the Justice League and I guess the universe for the next reboot or something.

[prythianpages]

Just A Girl | Eris x Rhysand's Sister

summary: Your father throws a ball in your honor. When Beron belittles you, you decide to show him what you're capable of, catching the attention of his firstborn.

word count: 2K

a/n: Hi guys! It's been a hot minute since I've written anything and I feel rusty lol (kinda like when you stop riding your bike and have to relearn type of feel.) Anyway, this is entirely based off no doubt's just a girl bc I felt like it gave off Rhys's sister vibes and then I thought why not incorporate this into an au I had planned for an Eris x Rhys's sister one shot??

“When I’m High Lord, I’ll go–”

“I’m sure you’ll go far,” you interrupt, a half smile playing on your lips as you look up at the first born of Spring. With his luscious blond hair, striking green eyes, and well-defined jawline, he's undeniably a sight to behold. Unfortunately, his personality doesn't match his looks—dull yet somehow arrogant and miserably misogynistic. 

You don’t have it in you to spare him a moment longer, especially not when his overbearing pride is becoming overwhelming for your senses. You push past the desire to call upon your abilities and manipulate his emotions into something more humbling. He is not worth exposing your powers.

With a pat on his shoulder–too harsh for his liking– you add, “and I really hope you stay there. It was nice speaking with you, Heathen.”

“It’s Heath.”

You give an uninterested hum before making your way to the refreshments table, desperate for something to soothe the tension between your brows. A silent prayer is sent to the Cauldron that no other male approaches you with a lame attempt at conversation. If they are interested in you, they should at least be able to hold a good one. One that doesn’t incorporate any microaggressions toward you.

Fortunately for you, it is your brother who approaches you next. He takes your–what was it? fourth or sixth, you can’t remember– champagne flute from your grasp with an effortless ease. A glare settles upon your features as you watch him chug it before fixing your gaze straight ahead, to the dais where your father and mother sit. 

Your father occupies the grand throne, while your mother sits beside him in a smaller, less ornate chair. The Lady of the Night Court—magnificent and burdened with countless responsibilities—receives none of the praise that is lavished upon your father. Despite her contributions to your court, she is not held in the same regard… simply because she is a female.

It leaves you to wonder what your destiny is.

Rhysand looks at you with sympathy, and you realize that in your moment of vulnerability, you've let your mental shields slip. “Please, save your breath,” you mutter.

Sensing Cassian and Azriel approaching, you flash them a small, relieved smile. “And please, stay by my side,” you say, your eyes scanning the room where multiple pairs of eyes are fixed on you. You feel so exposed and though it’s no surprise, it leaves you unsettled. When your gaze meets that of one of Autumn's sons, you quickly look away and strengthen the shield around you.

“I could use my scary brother privileges right now.”

“Who are we scaring, princess?” Cassian asks, flexing his muscles as he pretends to adjust the cuffs of his dress shirt, rolled up to his elbows.

Azriel lets out a snort, but his keen eyes are already scanning the room, easily locating the Autumn male. The red-haired male immediately cowers under his cold, hard stare.

“No one.” Rhysand replies, shooting them both a warning look. He then turns to you and you don’t need his daemati abilities to know what he’s about to say. “y/n–”

“Don’t you think I know exactly where I stand?” You interrupt him with an exhausted sigh.

Tonight was a celebration–a ball to honor you and all you’ve done for the Night Court during the war. When the war started, you were twenty-three and deemed too young to participate. Though, at that age, Rhysand had already completed the bloodrite and was esteemed a formidable warrior. You were fortunate that your father allowed you to train and even more so that he allowed you to join the Night Court council.

You quickly mastered the politics of war and the intricacies of the Prythian courts. Midway through the war, your father entrusted you to visit the war camps and delegate on his behalf. There was no doubt that it was a privilege you were granted due to your powers. Still, you embraced it eagerly and tonight was the night you would officially be recognized as an emissary.

But of course, many–especially the sons of the High Lords–confused tonight as your debutante ball. You were in your third decade, after all. While your brother was recognized as a fierce warrior and heir, you were regarded as a highly sought out bachelorette. 

Lucky you.

“I am meant to be pretty and docile,” you continue, gesturing to yourself. 

The dress you wore was far from your usual preference. The bodice, adorned with intricate beadwork and sequins, featured a sweetheart neckline that teased a glimpse of your breast—but not too much. The skirt of the gown was voluminous, made of layers of soft tulle that shimmered delicately with every step as the light caught the scattered sequins. It was a beautiful black ball gown, crafted by your mother's talented hands. Yet, you much preferred dresses that clung to you like a second skin, revealing more of your figure.

To put it frankly, you felt quite suffocated in this gown. And you rather not even get started on your makeup. You were transformed into a perfect painting of a sweet and innocent princess. Not the daring and powerful female you knew yourself to be.

“Desirable but not too attainable.”

 “However, that does not mean I need to be consistently tortured by dull conversations and hungry stares from controlling males,” you finish, crossing your arms against your chest with a scowl. “No one has even asked me about my role in this court.”

“Oh, yeah. How is it being an emissary to the Night Court?” Cassian asks, earning a smack to the back of his head from Azriel.

“Just splendid,” you reply with a sarcastic smile.

“You played a significant role in establishing peace between Spring and the rest of the courts after the war. I’m sure your efforts will not go unnoticed,” Rhysand assures you.

“Perhaps I played my role too well. Heathen has seemed to have taken an interest in me.”

It’s as if he heard his name being called, for the blonde male’s gaze meets yours across the ballroom. He winks at you with that stupid, cocky smirk of his. A grimace crosses your face. You had been hoping your conversation from earlier would deter him. It seems it has only spurred him on.

“He’s... pretty,” Rhysand starts, but then trails off, struggling to find a compliment for Heath. “Pretty full of himself,” he finally manages, shooting you an almost apologetic glance.

Both of you erupt into laughter.

“It could be worse,” Azriel comments after a moment, a futile attempt at making you feel better. “It could be the heir to Autumn. As the by-product of growing up under Beron’s cruelty, I hear he’s pretty ruthless. Might even turn out to be crueler than him. At least Heath isn’t as bright…”

“Ouch,” Cassian says with a playful wince, almost feeling bad for the Spring heir.

Your eyes find the male in question. Eris Vanserra. His vibrant red hair makes him and his siblings easy to spot in a crowded room. Surprisingly, Eris hasn't made any attempt to approach you tonight. Unlike his brothers. Instead, he stands by his mother's side. She appears uncomfortable and weary, her arm linked with his as she rubs her swollen, pregnant belly.

 As you focus on him, you feel a mix of anger and concern. “Somehow, I doubt that,” you voice your thoughts out loud, following the trail of emotions. Your eyes land on the recipient of his anger. Beron. The High Lord of Autumn stands amongst the other High Lords, engaged in conversation with your father.

Sensing your gaze on him, your father looks up from where you stand. He holds a hand up, summoning you and your brother.

“Time to shine,” Rhysand says, holding his hand out to you.

**

“Ah, my son,” your father greets with a smile as you and Rhysand come to a stop before him and the other High Lords. He then turns to you, violet eyes alight with pride that has your chest swelling with warmth. At least your father recognizes your worth and you don't dare to wonder if he'd see you the same if you weren't blessed with your power.

“My daughter, the guest of honor," he introduces, reaching for your hand to pull you to his side. You offer a polite smile and curtsy to the High Lords. “Y/n has done a lot for this court and all of Prythian. Tonight is a means to show my immense gratitude and present her with the official title of lead emissary of the Night Court.”

It is the High Lord of the Winter Court who speaks first, offering a slight bow of his head. “I look forward to continuing working with you, Lady y/n.”

“A wise and thoughtful member of the Night Court.” High Lord Thesan says with an amiable smile, the High Lords of Day, Summer and Spring sharing his sentiments.

However, the same cannot be said for the High Lord of Autumn. His lips curl in distaste, the thought of having to interact with a female tasting sour on his tongue. He had tolerated you before but only due to the war.

“You expect me to welcome her to my court to discuss important matter?" Beron huffs. "She’s just a girl.”

You don’t speak. You don’t even make a sound. But the look in your eyes…the look in your eyes was downright murderous.

Memories begin to flood your mind of you being berated and undermined. The box in which you had locked away your emotions can no longer contain them. A wave of anger and frustration begins to surge forth...

Rhysand knew exactly what was about to happen, his hand silently reaching out for yours. To hold you back.

But it was too late. Your mind was like a wall of steel. Impenetrable.

All you saw was red, your wings bursting forth from your glamor, unfurling behind you. They tore through the seams of your dress, provoking gasps. Swiftly, your magic mends the fabric, accommodating your true form.

Tendrils of darkness emanate from your outstretched hands, weaving through the air like sinister ribbons. Your gaze, unwavering and intense, remains fixated on Beron.  With each movement of your fingers, the room plunges deeper into shadow. The once-illuminated space is now consumed by a thick veil of darkness. Even Azriel’s shadows, accustomed to the darkness themselves, cling onto him like a second skin.

As the last glimmer of light fades into oblivion, the ballroom becomes a chamber of obsidian night. With a mere thought, you tap into the emotions swirling within the hearts of those present. Careful to be subtle upon the intrusion as you do not want to expose the true extent of your abilities.

You summon only the most negative emotions like a maestro orchestrating a symphony. Screams erupt, drawing your lips upwards. You can feel resistance against your power and whether it is from your father or brother or even one of the other High Lords, you can’t tell.

Gathering all your pent up frustrations, you use it to fuel your strength, wanting to hold onto this moment of mayhem just a bit longer. It is only when you feel Beron’s heart racing, feel the trace of fear threatening to dim the fire in his veins that you let go.

In the blink of an eye, your tendrils of darkness disperse, succumbing to the resistance. The faelights adorning the ballroom shimmer to life once more and the moon’s light seeps back into the room. It casts an ethereal glow over you, revealing the calm and cool expression on your face. Yet, your eyes remain seething with the fury of a dark, raging storm.

Beron's scowl deepens at your display. He parts his mouth in disbelief, looking towards your father, who says nothing. Beron then looks back at you.

For once in his miserable life, he is at a loss for words. Pride swells in your chest and you push against the talons raking across your mind, wanting to bask in your small victory.

“I’m just a girl,” you finally say and then give a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders before turning to leave.

Reveling in the animosity radiating off of him, your smirk deepens as you recognize a faint trace of humiliation somewhere among the fire of his wrath.

The assembled crowd parts before you, their gazes a mixture of disdain, shock, and fear. You keep your head held high and eyes focused straight ahead. Dread begins to settle in, the onset of a headache from overexertion threatening to break your composure.

Still, you carry on, feigning nonchalance. The only sounds echoing through the room are the hushed whispers and the sharp click of your heels against the marble floors.

Yet, amidst the sea of wary onlookers, one figure stands apart.

Eris.

The heir to the Autumn court is leaning casually against the wall near the exit doors, his mother nowhere to be seen. The corner of his lips are upturned into a smirk, amber eyes alight with amusement and curiosity and perhaps, even something more.

Your steps threaten to falter as your eyes meets his. He looks back at you, holding your gaze with a searing intensity, it sends a shiver down your spine. He looks at you in a way no one ever has...as if he can see you for you who you really are.

Because you aren’t just a girl.

You’re the daughter of the Night Court. A shining star. A force to be reckoned with and one he finds himself irresistibly drawn to.

a/n: I honestly don't know how to feel about this one. I guess it's kind of a prequel to my upcoming one shot. Also, you can't tell me Eris wouldn't find anyone besting his dad like reader did in this hot lol

general tag list: @scooobies, @kennedy-brooke, @sillysillygoose444, @lilah-asteria

[penkura]

Law is NOT a petname person, not in public at least. At the very most, you will hear him call you ‘babe’ in public, but never anything more than that. And it has nothing to do with your relationship or keeping it a secret, it’s just that Law simply feels a little weird calling you petnames at first, he’s shy about it because he doesn’t want to scare you off by saying something too soon.

As your relationship progresses, Law will start to call you more traditional petnames. ‘Darling’ and ‘baby’ come first, both making you smile when Law says them before asking or telling you something, you love to hear them when he speaks. ‘Honey’ might come along at some point, but it’d be more likely you calling him that then the other way around, that one might be a step too far for Law, even when you get engaged.

When that happens, he’s not going to exclusively call you ‘my fiancée’ unless it’s needed, he’ll say you name more but keep calling you ‘darling’. I don’t know why, but I can also see him using ‘dragonfly’ as a nickname. He'd likely call you that after gifting you a hairpin or something like that which looks like a dragonfly, and the petname ends up sticking.

Once you’re married he’s calling you ‘wife’ as often as he can, and not just to you! Even to other Heart Pirates he’ll end up saying ‘my wife’, none of them ever correct their captain by stating that yes they knew you obviously, they’re just so happy for Law to be married and happy. People across islands you visit always bring up how happy Law seems when he says ‘my wife’, that it’s now your favorite name he calls you.

He'll absolutely call you ‘mama’ when you have children, unless his German side slips out and he ends up calling you ‘Mutter’ without realizing it, but you don’t stop him. It's nice to hear him speak German to you. It's rare for Law to do so. But, anyway! Your child will hear both words over and over, Law telling them everything about you once they’re born, calling you by both names. When your child is old enough to speak, their first word is definitely going to be ‘mama’, and Law couldn’t be prouder when it happens.

[brucewaynehater101]

I'm so glad you like it and I love all your feed back. Tim would 100% have plenty of trauma that he just. Is *refusing* to address due to starting that identity when he was likely still a teen. Tim having the identity if Jane Doe is also 100% going to help him with coming to terms with all the shifty stuff his family did.

As for Jason, I think he would see Jane refusing to be near him as Jane being skittish, likely due to the many guns he is visibly wearing. He knows he has a reputation as a protector, but he also knows that part of that reputation is that people do fear him. He'll just. Need to give Jane time to relax around him, yeah?

Though I do have a version that ends much worse for everyone. The Bats aren't the first to find out who Jane Doe is. No, Tim makes a mistake. To calm down someone he's friends with after they almost got mugged and he saved them as Red Robin, without thinking he made a joke referencing an inside joke which made the two ladies laugh. Only one problem. Only they and Jane Doe understand that joke because no one else was there. It was just those three. Meaning Jane Doe is Red Robin. Which would logically put N as Nightwing, H as (Red) Hood, and R as Robin with B as Batman.

This also means these two now "know" how the Bats treat Red Robin and they spread word *fast*. Within a week all the Sex Workers who were worried about Jane know and help Jane sneak away whenever they know a Bat is going to be coming by. This also means that almost over night all of the Sex Workers, Bar Owners, and most of the homeless (at least the ones in Jane's area who know him) are refusing to work with any Bats but Red Robin.

They are full on *scared* of Robin because they know he carries a sword, they know he uses it on criminals, and if he's willing to use that sword to nearly kill his own older brother multiple times? Whats stopping him from hurting them if he thinks they're up to something? Batman? The guy who they now believe either used to or still does beat up his own kids? No, they saw what happened before Tim became Robin they *remember*. The ones who flirted with Nightwing are suddenly shunning him or full on sneering at him. They believe he stole his own younger brother's first time (Tim only said N stole something precious that he could never give back and that it hurt very badly. He meant Robin but he couldn't tell them it was Robin) after tricking his younger brother into falling in love with him (Tim told them that Dick was the first person to make him feel truly loved and adored, because this is 100% bad parents Jack and Janet who told him "do whatever it takes to succeed")

There is so much miscommunication in this AU. It's funny and devastating at the same time.

Them finding out before the Bats reminds me of the fics that explore the street kids finding out that Red Hood beat up Robin (a child) even though he promised to never harm kids and to protect them. This causes them to instantly distrust him, and Red Hood is never able to earn their trust again.

I imagine that the sex workers would probably react similarly to Red Hood. Instead of being greeted warmly, suddenly everyone is treating im with caution. That's so much fucking angst for Jason (especially if he finds comfort/support from sex workers due to them helping him when he was homeless).

Also, there might be a time when the sex workers are mad at Red Robin (and some probably stay mad). They see taking a persona of a sex worker as insulting and making light of their situation. Some of them would never do that work if they had choices, which RR obviously has.

Then they start to logic how old he was when he started (he was doing this when he was Robin), how he is actually still selling himself because he performs the work, and that he probably does view it as a necessity. I wonder if there's any misconceptions that Batman knew/knows about RR's activities and whether they would compare that to pimps.

But yeah. They would become almost hostile to all Bats and RH.

[ollyissleppy]

𝙙𝙧𝙪𝙣𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 | venti, diluc x reader

summary: just boys confessing their love while being tipsy

pairing(s): venti x gn!reader, diluc x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: mentions of being drunk, drinking, alcohol, mentions of being pressured into drinking

tags: fluff, drinking, confessions, reader works in church (in venti's), reader is from fontaine (in diluc's), diluc is all blushy (just the way I like him 😇)

a/n: I don't remember the last time I wrote (and actually finished) something let alone post it :( anyways there's also one with Keaya but I didn't have the time to finish it and just wanted to post what I have so I won't have the time to change my mind

🅥🅔🅝🅣🅘

You stand at the back of the church, just casually chatting away with a few sisters, as you hear quick steps approaching where you are. You and your companions turn your heads to see who's in such a hurry, only to spot Barbara rushing her way towards you. 

"(name)! Thank Barbados, I finally found you," the blonde says as she stops right in front of you. “Could you be so kind and help me get rid of this drunkard? He's laying under the statue, and no amount of threads can make him leave.”

“Sure, just show me where they are, and I’ll get rid of them for you.” You send a warm smile her way and follow her out of the church. 

Once outside, you notice someone laying under Anemo Archon’s statue, attempting to play music on a lyre. Upon coming closer, you recognise the person who's causing Barbara to grow grey hair. You sigh, knowing now that not only Barbara's well-being but also potentially the identity of your beloved archon is at risk. After all, you don't want the drunk bard to expose himself as the Anemo Archon to the entire city. 

“You’re playing the wrong cord, Venti,” you say as you approach the bard.

“HOW DARE YOU EVEN—oh, it’s you, (name)! I was waiting till you came out of this stupid  building." Venti throws himself at you, his arms tightly wrapping around your neck. "I wanted to come inside and hang out with you, but she refused to let me in," he pouts while trying to give you the puppy eyes. 

You ignored his words and just opted to try making him stand on his own. Your attempt was unsuccessful; the moment you let go of him, he started to fall over. Holding him up by his waist, you turn to Barbara:

“Thank you for bringing me here, Barbara. You’re free to return to your duties, I got this from here.” After making sure you had a tight grip around Venti, you started making your way out of the city. You hope to brig him to the closest Archon statue to hopefully sober him up.

“You know, I thought alcohol no longer had an effect on you.” You couldn't help but ask a question as your mind was working overtime to figure out what could bring the bard to such a state. 

“Keaya brought some special wine from Sumeru, and we both shared a bottle,” Venti replies, sounding as if he's about to fall asleep. 

“Wow, now I feel sorry for Master Diluc. I can’t imagine having to deal with the both of you in such a state.” You shake the bard, making sure he stays awake at least till you both reach the statue. 

As you finally crossed the bridge just outside the city, you quickly apologised to Timmy for scaring away his pigeons and continued your journey until you reached Venti's statue. You lay him down under the stone version of himself and hope your theory about sobering him up is correct. You sit down beside him, your back against some roots, waiting for a change in the bard's position.

When some time passes and you start to wonder if you should just leave him there, he finally sits up. You look at him curiously, waiting for the bard to say something. Venti remains silent, just staring back at you. Another moment passes until he finally speaks up:

"You're really here. For a moment, I thought you were just a dream. "You can still smell the alcohol as he speaks. "(name), can I tell you something?"

You look at him confused, wondering if it is another one of his 'I'm an archon type of secret'. He looks at you as if he's collecting his thoughts, so you allow your mind and gaze to wander off. 

“I am in love with you.” Your head snaps right back at Venti, unsure if your mind isn't playing games with you. 

"What?" you ask, scolding your mind for even suggesting the bard said something like this. 

"I'm in love with you, (name)." Venti shifts his body to be closer to you, almost as if trying to kiss you, his gaze still fixated on you.

“Venti, you’re drunk.” You try to move your body away from his, causing your back to bruise itself against the roots. You found your archon's feelings highly inappropriate. 

He sighs and moves his body back to its original place, his gaze finally leaving yours. You relax, finally feeling free from the awkward situation. You realise that Venti's eyes seem to be focused on something, so you follow them to see what he's looking at. Off in the distance, you see two hilichurls dancing and seemingly enjoying each other's company. Both you and your companion watch the two of them in somewhat comfortable silence. You're not sure how much time passes until Venti speaks up again. 

“You don’t have to answer; it’s ok. It must be so confusing for you," he sighs, his eyes now looking up to the sky. "You devoted your entire life to an archon just for me to destroy your image of said archon and now selfishly confess my undying love for you.” 

You stare at him, unsure of what you should do. The bard was right; you were confused out of your mind. You look down at the ground, trying to collect your thoughts. The silence once again falls between you two, only this time it's more awkward than anything. After what felt like ages, you hear Venti move his body. You don't look up, still being within your own thoughts. The archon sees that and just gently cups your face with his hand, forcing you to look at him. Venti slowly moves his face closer to yours, his breath tickling you.

“But no legends say I'm not a selfish archon”

🅓🅘🅛🅤🅒

Diluc brought you to Fontaine in hopes you'll help him win it's people over and expand his wine empire in that direction as well. So here you are, catching up with some of your friends that you haven't seen since you left Fontaine. Learning all about their new lives, now without you. It didn't sadden you much, as moving away to another nation gave you opportunities you never knew were possible. You're so caught up in the conversation that you don't notice a person coming up behind you, let alone the arm that's making its way around your shoulders. The unexpected movement caused you to jump, only to calm down once you noticed the culprit. 

“Diluc, are you alright?" You ask worried, not remembering if you ever saw your friend with his face being almost the colour of his hair. 

"Yeah, I'm just tired." Diluc moves his body so he can rest his head on your shoulders. His moves catch you slightly off guard, as they're not something his usual self would do.

"Oh, look at the time,” you say, looking at your watch. "We really should all return to our houses; I'd hate for the staff to work overtime to clean up after us." Most of the people who were at the gathering agreed with you. Some people, however, weren't keen on leaving just yet, as they didn't get to discuss the legal matters of their agreements.

“Don’t worry, everyone; I'm sure Master Diluc will be ready to discuss further regarding the contracts tomorrow,” you say to comfort the worried bunch, hoping it'll be enough.

“Perhaps lunch time? Maybe at Cafe Lutece?” one of the men in the crowd replies, with a bunch of others agreeing.

“Great, we’ll be there!” You smile, happy to get them all off Diluc's back.

You sat Diluc down on one of the chairs and patiently waited for all of the guests to leave. You were so preoccupied by them that you didn't notice your friend started to drift off into sweet slumber. Once you do notice, you make sure to shake him awake to make it easier to bring him to your hotel rooms. You help Diluc stand up from the chair, and you start taking him upstairs, where your rooms are located. 

While making your way up the stairs, you decided to question what happened to make Diluc try his luck at drinking. 

'How can we know it’s good quality wine if the person responsible for making it won’t drink it?' was apparently something Diluc heard from one of the potential clients while he was trying to get them on his side. You felt kind of bad for Diluc, as you are aware that he's not fond of drinking, and tonight he was pressured into doing so. 

After what felt like a fight between you and the stairs, you two finally made it to Diluc's room. You close the door behind you and turn around to see Diluc struggling to get out of his coat. You chuckle at his sudden cuteness as you walk up to lend him some help. After a bit of struggle, you managed to get him out of the piece of clothing, settling it on one of the chairs in the room. You decided to skip trying to change the rest of his clothes, and you just laid Diluc down on the bed. You made sure to securely wrap him up in the blanket, and you started to take your leave. 

“Wait, don’t leave yet.” You stop in your tracks. You weren't expecting to hear his voice; you were almost certain that he was already out cold. “I hate seeing you leave.” You turn to look at him, thinking about your options.

You decided to stay with him a bit longer, at least until he actually fell asleep. You sit down on the other side of the bed, thinking about what you should say to make him fall asleep. 

"See? I'm not going anywhere, Diluc. You can rest now." You fix the blanket around his chest. The room falls into a comfortable silence. 

Your thoughts start to slowly drift away as the day finally catches up to you, making you wish you were in bed as well. You're so deep inside your head that you don't notice Diluc staring directly at you.

“Lay down with me.” His low voice startled you, snapping you back to reality. You take a minute to gather your thoughts to figure out the best response. 

“I don’t think it’s appropriate,” you said, hoping your answer would make him drop it. 

“Who cares? It’s just the two of us,” he argues, and you have to admit that he has a point. Besides, it won't hurt to lay with him just for a bit—until he falls asleep, that is. 

You sigh, defeated, and opt to lay down on top of the covers. That way, you had a way of getting out of his room and to your own when Diluc's no longer focused on you so much. As you move to your side, you notice Diluc visibly relaxing, even letting out a yawn. He looked like he would fall asleep any minute now, so you close your eyes, hoping it'll fool him that you're asleep as well. You are finally letting yourself relax. 

“I love you,” Diluc's voice was low and barely hearable. If the room wasn't dead silent, you probably wouldn't be able to hear it.

You don't respond, deciding that it must be just his tired and drunk brain talking. You keep your eyes closed just in case, still hoping to trick him into thinking that you're asleep.

“You hear? I’m in love with you,  (name)." Diluc moves his body closer to yours, as if trying to make sure you're able to hear him.

You lay still, trying to ingest his alcohol-reeking breath. Diluc sighs, moving even closer to you, just to throw his arm across your body, trapping you in bed with him. 

"I wish I wasn't such a coward and told you this when I'm sober and your conscious."

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

[riacte]

Big Terracotta and the "Let's overthrow Rendog" storyline

My knee jerk reaction to Ren saying they would be making minigames to fight over the permits because they wanted the plot to progress was "oh no NOT again". I initially thought of the minigames in the King Ren arc finale but I suppose it's also similar to the Mycelium War finale. I love minigames, but it's like another Ren vs Scar plot, which might very well (but not necessarily) extend into Neighbourhood vs Mountain plot (and I guess the Redditors will cry about a "civil war" because they've been anticipating it since the season began).

First of all: Big T is basically Ministry rebranded. It doesn't contain everyone from the Neighbourhood, but it's inherently linked. From what I remember of that stream from months ago, Ren's idea was for the Neighbourhood (at the time the Ministers) to band together and sell terracotta. To me, the Neighbourhood feels like it's become a conglomerate of its own: they live next to each other, they collab together, build farms and minigames together, and they have storylines together. The Ministry storyline pretty obviously formed the basis and set the tone. False's rivers permeate through the entire neighbourhood. They have a meeting spot and maps and roads and villager set ups and the bank of Iskall. It's not just "people conveniently live close to each other"— it's "people whose individual storylines intertwine". We got invested in the Ministry storyline. The minister roles felt fairly early season to me, so no surprise that it ended. Now we get Big T, which seems like an optimistic look forward with the idea of a "permanent" branded group because it's about selling a highly wanted commodity.

But what if it's not.... permanent? What if Short-T gets the permits? What then? Another rebrand? I have absolutely no doubts that the Neighbourhood, broadly speaking, will continue to hang out as a neighbourhood. At least until they run out of space / ideas in there. So it's not like they'll stop interacting if Big T ceases to become a thing, but that's exactly what it is— Big T gives them something to do. A common storyline. A collab opportunity.

Back to the Ministry storyline. It's a typical "Rendog seizes power" arc that we've seen before, prominently in S9 King Ren arc. But the thing is, it kind of fails at sculpting Ren as this awful leader who needs to be overthrown. (Partially due to Cleo's mic not working when they suggested overthrowing Ren, and there were also talks of people doing a coup, but in the end Ren decided to take the matters in his own hands.) Ren tries to be incompetent and bossy but they all end up indulging him. Because, despite everything, Ren is good at bringing people together, both in and outside of the game. He organises stream weekends (the others were thanking Ren on his shift during the last stream weekend, a while ago on another stream weekend Scar made Ren tear up with his heartfelt words). He "annoys" people into following him, and then he gets scared of the power, "annoys" people into overthrowing him, and BOOM Rendog kickstarts another plotline by playing the villain (again. And again).

(Arguably, Third Life also kinda followed this formula. I had a feeling Ren was trying to make the Red King unlikable by barging into people's houses and demanding them join the Red Army, and Martyn did "claim" he had "planned" to "betray Ren" from day one (looking at the camera with knowing but non-judgmental stare) but didn't do it.)

Point is, Ren has the personal charisma and thick enough skin to start groups and wrangle people into joining them. He's silly and the hermits love him, so they kind of bemusedly smile and let Ren drag them along. That's his first way of uniting people. Ren's second way of uniting people is by playing the villain, which he often employs and tries pushing it into this direction. In the Ministry plotline, the first way worked, but nobody cared enough to overthrow Ren (lol) so the second way didn't work that well.

... And I feel like Ren doesn't trust himself to play the role of a good leader. He has to be evil. Because he likes dramatics and being publicly humiliated (side glance) and killed. And also because he doesn't like playing the role of a good leader despite having clear visions of infrastructure / change he wants to achieve (S10 roads, S9 Hermit Quests). If anyone's dreaming big about community storylines and banding together to work on something, it's Ren.

So my fear for the Big T storyline is that Ren will seize power again and turn evil so they can overthrow him and Ren volunteers to be the villain for plot progression. I like seeing Ren being in the leader role. But to see him be overthrown again feels a little sad considering what they all went through so far. I don't want more self sabotage. I don't want Ren to go "yeah it's fine you can have it". I don't want Big T to lose the permits and disband. Obviously Big T isn't just Ren, but Ren is the main guy who does story and roleplay.

Good news: Big T contains competitive people who will no doubt enjoy defeating Scar and Bdubs. Bad news: those are the exact same type of people who like trapping Ren in pits. Even if Big T as a whole pulls through, I hope Ren doesn't do something stupid on purpose to set himself up. I want the power of friendship and neighbourhood solidarity to win. It's such a good overarching storyline and content.

[cirtusmistress]

JJK Baby Daddy x Reader HC: Choso ~ The Helicopter Parent

an: i love choso and have baby fever. which sucks for a lesbian who has a visceral fear of being pregnant. so i'm gonna write about a 2D man k thanks <3

tw: mentions of SIDs

genre: fluff with a touch of angst in the teen years

AO3 Crosspost

Bless his heart man :(

Didn’t even know he could have kids but once he learned that he could it was game over.

He had eight siblings and loves them all with his whole heart. Literally Yuji being his brother reshaped his brain, how do you think having kids will have him?

I see him as a girl dad personally but he will love his children no matter the gender.

It was a lot when you told him you were pregnant. It had never really been a thought beforehand, and it just kinda.. Happened. It was a long discussion but you decided to keep it (but if you didn’t want it he would have supported you, because he loves you and in the end you have to come first).

Anxious as fuck though. He’s buying so many parenting books and reading mommy blogs and did you know you shouldn’t eat fish while pregnant? No fish for you. Such a helicopter dad and partner.

LOVES designing the nursery.

You bought him a disposable camera so he could document the pregnancy and he adored every second of it. He makes you a pregnancy scrapbook for each one.

He keeps the first ultrasound pic on him all the time. Shows it to everyone he can like, “This is my baby :)”

He cried every time you two looked at onesies. Realizing how small your baby was gonna be got him so emotional.

Likes helping you pick out maternity wear too! He thinks you’re so cute :(

If you’re a seahorse dad he’s super understanding and tries to help you through any dysphoria you may have. You’re his partner and he feels his family's pain very strongly, so he just wants you to be okay.

He involves Yuji in your pregnancy a lot too (which he loves, he can’t wait to be an uncle).

When the baby finally comes home he’s such an anxious mess. Every time they cry he’s just overwhelmed and scared something is wrong or his fault.

He doesn’t get much sleep. He made the mistake of reading about SIDs and is constantly scared that he’ll wake up one day and they’ll just be gone.

It takes a lot of reassurance from you to calm him back down. Eventually he starts sleeping again, but his sleep is very light.

Loves wearing a papoose (baby carrier). He likes having his baby with him wherever he goes.

I can see him fully committing to being a stay at home daddy. He loves his family and if he could spend every day with his children nothing would make him happier. Gives you a lot of special attention during and after the pregnancy. Massages, going out late at night for craving foods, sitting with you while you go through morning sickness. When you get home he’s super hands on so you can rest and recuperate. You’re the love of his life, nothing is too much for you.

He also makes baby scrapbooks. For all of his kids, at least 3 each. No one goes without and every child is made sure to feel special and loved.

Again, cries at every milestone. When they roll over, when they sit up, the first word. Even the less conventional ones like the first hair cut.

You had to keep him from attacking the doctor when you took them in for their first shots..

The toddler phase is fun. He’s chasing naked babies around your home day and night. Loves the phase where they want to sleep in bed with you two. Being able to have his family all in one bed makes him feel safe. Even if it means a kick to the side or back.

It’s hard when his kids start going to school. He can’t always be with them or protect them and it’s scary for him. He’s always thinking about them, and when they get home he’s always there to pick them up or walk them back to the house.

The teen phase is also a hard transition. Suddenly it’s not cool to spend time with your dad anymore. Some of his kids do, of course, but it’s always a struggle when the others pull away. You always assure him it’s normal, and they still love him. But Choso struggles when his family pulls apart even in little ways.

He’s still a helicopter parent. He means well but to teens it just feels overbearing. He doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong.

But in the end his kids always come back. Because they know he will never abandon them, and would raise hell for them.

Wants at least three. If you’re willing, five.

Readiness? 60% Lot’s of panic and crying, but no doubt all of his children will feel endlessly loved, as will you.

who else should I daddy? gojo and nanami are on my hit list

[doctorcurdlejr]

Niko!! what'd you think of I saw the tv glow. I finally saw it last night and noticed you posting about it so I wanted to know your thoughts :)

Levi!!! I was JUST wondering what you were thinking about the movie after I saw you posting about it as well... we are so media discussion pilled in this way, it's awesome. ANYWAYS I've had so many thoughts since I first saw it and I've been trying to turn them into something coherent for a little bit now.

Ummm okay I have written 1k+ words about this movie, the suburbs, and escapism via teen TV.... clearly I was dying for somebody to ask this I guess so thank you for indulging me <3

First and foremost, I absolutely loved it! I've seen it twice now and the first time I watched it I got to see Jane Schoenbrun talk about the film right after. I already really liked it from that first watch alone. I found it so deeply relatable to my experiences - both in terms of growing up gay and trans, but where I am now in my 20s trying to navigate adulthood. Hearing what Schoenbrun had to say really cemented my feelings and thoughts about the film.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a big influence on the movie (it's why Amber Benson makes a cameo as Johnny Link's mom). Even though I don't have the same emotional link to Buffy since I never watched it, I recognize it as the same type of warmth I experienced growing up with Riverdale. When Owen says he feels like his insides have been scooped out but that he's too afraid to look and have that wrongness everybody knows is there be confirmed, Maddy simply responds "Maybe you're like Isabel. Afraid of what's inside you." Tears forming but not falling, breathing shallowly, I grabbed the paper and pen the theater keeps at the seats for people to order food with and wrote that line down - the slip of paper is still somewhere in my car. Writing it now almost feels lame in its simplicity, but it felt like my insides were being flayed open.

During the director discussion, Schoenbrun talked a little bit about this idea of how truly fucking bizarre it is to grow up in the suburbs. Like, when we think about the pinnacle of normality in American culture, it's the image of middle-class cis-hetero-white suburbia. At the same time, despite this cultural dream of normality, everybody is hyper-aware that the suburbs are one of the least normal things ever. So, the ACTUAL cultural understanding of it is that it's where we go to, like, passively kill ourselves (*George Costanza voice* WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY YOU KNOW!). This idea isn't new, I mean there are so many films and shows about navigating that specific bizarre dissonance from Rebel Without a Cause to Heathers to Twin Peaks. Probably half the pre-teen to teen TV I watched obsessively growing up, stuff like Strange Days at Blake Holsey High, Making Fiends, Truth or Scare, and eventually Riverdale, were never shy about being weird and morbid and saying "yes, the suburbs are exactly as bizarre and lethal in the ways you can already feel in your bones at 13." I Saw the TV Glow does a really good job of keying not only into that mental dissonance but more specifically into how those of us who have felt so intrinsically weird and different and wrong fell back on these shows like they were capable of doing the emotional version of a rescue breath maneuver after being drowned.

In high school, if there were two things about me that any person who even vaguely knew me could list off it was that I watched Riverdale, and I was a lesbian - and I was mocked more for the Riverdale. At that age, I was, without a doubt, the most miserable I have ever felt in my life. I rarely left the house because my family lived in a development that made me want to scratch my skin off when I walked out our front door. Owen didn't leave the house for days, afraid Maddy could somehow force him out. I sobbed constantly and frequently to depressing indie rock on the floor of my closet while hoping my family would just once read the (honest to god) KEEP OUT poster plastered on my door since I didn't have a lock on it. Owen didn't leave his room for days, afraid of what Maddy recognized in him. I didn't go on dates and kept my chest binder shoved to the bottom of my bookbag while wearing dresses that could've come from a how-to-be the perfect 50s housewife manual. Owen didn't leave his bed for days, afraid of Maddy touching his neck and Isabel's dress. I also watched Riverdale with the kind of zeal you see in a Pentecostal who has found God and started speaking in tongues to let you know it. I own a button that says, "Don't Make Me Go Dark Betty On You," I cherish it in a way that is only achieved by knowing exactly how corny and trite it is and then moving straight past that because well actually, and most people wouldn't get this, she's holding back something deeply dark and wild and- and disgusting. something painful yet intrinsically her. but i get it, obviously. or maybe not obviously! hopefully not obviously, but- basically, I'm just saying I get it: the experience of reflection and recognition through the other and all that.

Whatever, the point is that this movie is one big glaring trans allegory about how it sucks dog shit to live in the suburbs, and even at our most repressed we find these little snow globes of actualization in the glow of a tv screen that isn't afraid to show you the world you see. I've seen some people say that, like, in this context accepting or coming into your transness is this monumental death of self, which I get, but I feel there lacks a nuance in that because either way Owen is dying. Unlike Maddy who buries herself alive only to come out renewed, Owen doesn't kill himself upon facing the reality that the world is constructed to keep him miserable and the only way out is to take back what it is that the world wants to keep scooped out of him. Instead he just passively lets it drag him to a much more permanent death. This lack of suicide sucks in the kind of way that forces you to sit in your car on the midnight drive home and think to yourself am I letting myself suffocate because at some point knowing the misery became less scary than admitting I've been capable of doing something about it the whole time?

Clearly, I’ve been enchanted by the film’s narrative and meta-textual language. If you're familiar with it, you can see how Schoenbrun built this movie like a long-form dream episode of a canceled teen show filmed in Vancouver. Lynchian? Yeah, sure. Riverdalesque? THIS we cannot possibly deny. Schoenbrun said they included Amber Benson as an act of healing the inner rage experienced at Tara’s death in Buffy. This is a Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa ending Riverdale with a bisexual polycule after his gay Archie play got ceased-and-desisted type move. There’s probably more I could say about the soundtrack and the visuals, but I’ve hit over 1k words on this, so I’ll leave it at I enjoyed this movie a lot. :)

Maddy is an out lesbian who left town to escape the misery and found it strapped to her ankles. She slinks out, an animal pressed against the gymnasium floor, and says "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know." Owen looks into the camera and narrates. He cuts himself open with a box cutter, fully acknowledges what's there, and the movie ends with his suffocating apology parade for the unremarkable inconvenience of his excruciating suffering. You can be gay and trans, you can know it and you can stop repressing it, but you're not going to stop suffocating until you can find a way to destroy the part of you that truly deeply does want to die, reaching for the comforting euthanasia of normalcy. Stop visiting the dream of the life you want and make it into your reality with the same kind of unrepentant conviction seen in some underfunded but wildly ambitious teen television series. In other words: you must try to survive the ego death of being weird. A weirdo, who doesn't fit in and doesn't want to fit in!

[hpowellsmith]

Hi Harris. How do you deal with negative reviews or comments? I have just started but I'm scared, I take such things so personally.

I'm sorry to hear you're anxious about this, but I totally understand and relate, and I'm sure every other writer does too so you're very much not alone!

I try not to seek out negative reviews and commentary, especially when I've only just released a game. Just after launch is the time when I feel most worried and vulnerable and it's also the time when I can't do much about it. Earlier, and I can make decisions about whether I want to take it into account for that game. Later, when making something new, I can think about whether I want to consider it for the next project. But that time when I'm the most stressed is also the least useful!

One category of commentary, I'm very comfortable ignoring wholesale. People have sent me, or I've seen, comments about my games that are sexist, racist, homophobic, acephobic, transphobic... I'm happy throwing it in the trash without another thought.

Sometimes, negative commentary boils down to "I wanted this to be a different game" or "why did this character not behave in a way I think would be better" or similar. Sometimes this can be helpful information (eg a character suddenly being flippant and humorous feeling out of place with their dour personality), but sometimes I just need to shrug and go "what can you do?" because sometimes expectations don't match up.

Some negative commentary can be learned from. That one can be more complicated because people don't always phrase that politely, the way that my lovely playtesters do! But it can have a grain or more of truth. So I sometimes need to wait a couple of hours for my defensiveness to fade and then swallow my pride and revisit it with a fresh mind.

With more experience, I've also gained a better sense of what people may not like. These days, it feels clearer when making decisions about going ahead - or not - with something I think people won't like, or something I've had negative feedback about. So, if people don't like an element in one of my games, it generally comes as less of a surprise, and is therefore less stressful.

As I've made more projects, I still get nervous - like I say, everyone does. But I've become more used to sifting through to find what's useful within negative reviews, commentary, and feedback and not bothering with the rest.

I hope some of that is helpful! I know it's hard not to take things personally; I've done so myself before, and I know how you feel. But I hope you do keep writing.

[amateurasstrologer]

BY NECESSITY #1 SATURN IN PISCES

Hi babies, what’s up? You thought I forgot about you? 

Well, you’re right, I did. But I’m back, bitches - at least for today - to remind you that astrology is still the shit. So, before I ghost again, let’s talk. This week it’s a Saturn in Pisces special. 

Now, before you’re like, “Are you kidding? This bitch comes back after how long to talk about some random ass placement that doesn’t even apply to me? Ugh.” Just take a breath. Saturn is in Pisces. Right now. In the sky. So even if you’re not getting extra fucked like all the people having their Saturn Return, you’re still experiencing the energy and all the shit I’m about to say still applies to you. 

Alright. First, let’s talk Saturn. Saturn is all about form. It’s foundations, it’s structure, it’s hard, it’s the shit you stand on that you forget you’re standing on (until a transit happens and forces you to look down in ice cold terror). It’s important to remember that Saturn deals with all foundations - which foundation (physical, mental, etc.) depends on which sign you’re working with. When Pisces gets involved, you’re dealing with your psychological, emotional foundation.

Next, Pisces. Pisces is about all dissolution. Pisces is last in line for a reason. All the shit you absorbed during your little life cycle - collective beliefs and ideals, definitions of success, definitions of failure, the shit your parents believed, the shit their parents believed, etc. - someone needs to dissolve all that loud biz (cue Pisces) so you can get back in touch with the real true you (cue Aries). Pisces is on that transcendental shit - it’s here to elevate you, it’s fucking your foundations up in a beautifully painful liquidation process, as in we’re closing everything has got to go this business is over forever goodbye we’re done. 

When you put these two together and you get a fucking shit show. Hardening and dissolving? Opposites. Pisces is like “yes I’m here to love you forget you ever had a structure all of this is meaningless it’s time blend in the timeless space of forgiveness we’ll feel it all and understand the origin of life the mystery of life heart eyes” and Saturn is like “Look at your life! Build something! Be accountable! These are your limits - learn them! Wake up! You dropped your spine! Go pick it up! But also good luck bending over to pick it up because you don’t have a spine! Ha!” 

It doesn’t take eyes to see that Saturn is not comfy in Pisces. And it’s true, Pisces and Saturn do bring very different shit to the party. But relationships are raw materials, babies, it’s what you make with them that matters.

Saturn and Pisces, together, create an opportunity for you to give your psychological, emotional foundation a fucking upgrade. Pisces helps you dissolve the fake ass bull shit persona you’ve been passing off as a self, and Saturn helps you reform into a person who, you know, you’re actually happy to be - a person with a psychological foundation based on inner-truth, not on societal/cultural/ancestral rules and regulations. Bitch, you’re a treasure! You’re a beautiful unique person, not a robot! If you wanted to be all copy paste should have reincarnated as a keyboard smh. Wake up.

Saturn in Pisces is a call to transform yourself on a spiritual level. The deepest level. (Deeper than you Scorpio sorry.) This isn’t some find a new job, find a new hobby bull shit. This is deep unconscious reconditioning. This is scary, triggering shit. You thought Pisces was out here just blending in the gooey goodness of love? Please. Think about what dissolution actually means. You want to be psychologically free? You want to scrub your karma? Get in touch with your essence? Lol. Girl. Get ready. This transformation process is a gnarly, confusing, and, most importantly, it takes time (thanks, Saturn). Just can’t rush it. 

Alright, before you get too scared to continue, let me say it one more time for the people in the back: When Saturn is in Pisces, the unconscious, emotional (Pisces) foundation (Saturn) of your life stops being hidden. Material that was collecting dust (and power) in your unconscious (Pisces) is suddenly visible (Saturn). Surprise, bitch! Time to take a look.

Okay. Now, what happens when you’re confronted with your very own subconscious (Pisces) scaffolding (Saturn)? Well, two options: 

(1) You lose perspective and collapse the transformation process before it has time to do its thing, dissolving your sense of self (Pisces) and hardening around rigid beliefs (Saturn) to bring yourself back to a superficial sense of safety, making your life temporarily more stable and comfy but ten million times harder to confront your psychological foundation at the next opportunity.

(2) You stay focused on the big picture and face your fears, dissolving the toxic beliefs you were unconsciously building your life on (Pisces) and reforming your identity (Saturn) into something real and true, making your life temporarily more lonely and difficult but ten million times easier to relate to yourself and others forever and ever amen.

“Uh wtf who would pick option one?” You, me, anyone allowing themselves to actually feel the crippling existential dread of having to face the unknown (Pisces) or anyone who can’t bear the thought of looking critically at their inherited beliefs (Saturn). It’s not an opportunity for the faint of heart. Or for anyone who doesn’t have, at the very least, one friend. And not some moralizing “forgiveness heals all wounds hang in there” type of friend - I’m talking some real ass, truth staring ass, love you anyways bitch.

So, why did I return from the underworld to tell you this shit now? Because Saturn is only halfway through it’s uncomfortable stay on the Pisces commune. Listen - if you’re starting to feel crazy, like (1) “I swear some shit must be up I just cannot catch a break from feeling like living shit” and (2) “why does the same shit continue to happen to me over and over again like fuck I thought I got over this shit in 1933” it’s because (1) you’re being called to transform and transformation is an active process time to stop being dragged around use you legs and (2) part of this particular transformation process is acknowledging that you did not leave any shit in 1933 and you’ve actually been dragging that ugly shit around in your unconscious and it’s secretly been controlling every decision you’ve made since then. Sorry.

“Ugh, can I just close my eyes and open them when this whack ass transit is over?” Sure. They’re your eyes, babe. But, just between you and me, why would you want to do that? This is a wonderfully unique time to face the truth (Saturn) and give yourself compassion and grace (Pisces), so that you can, oh, I don’t know, turn this car around before you and your unconscious Thelma and Louise yourselves. For a limited time only - the lights are on! There is no better time to look at this shit. The cosmic support is here. Right now. Let these lunar lovelies carry you through. 

The key to navigating this transit successfully (and consciously), is to pay attention to what you’re dissolving, and what you’re hardening around. Be suspicious about the shit you take for granted emotionally - investigate that foundation - ask yourself: Where did this shit even come from? Is this the psychological foundation I want to perpetuate? Don’t keep trying to wrap yourself back up in that shed skin, babies, it’s not a good look. Embrace the rawness.

The energies are active, the pressure is there, but if you open yourself to working with the energy of the times instead of just closing your eyes and hoping for the best, you can completely transform your life over the next 12 months. No joke. No exaggeration.

Until we meet again, bitches, happy charting.

XO BULLSHIT FREE ASTROLOGY 

[incorrectnessduskwood]

Hey, everyone! I just finished playing Moonvale and I've come to give my first opinion on it, which is a bit long (spoilers under read more!!)

So, first of all, I really enjoyed the story so far. The tense moments kept me on my seat, I enjoyed talking to the characters, especially Eric, and our conversation about the Duskwood events with Ash was absolutely great and heartbreaking (at least for me). I miss Duskwood's visuals, how we could see the characters' profiles, see their pictures and such and I think it was important for the immersion in the game.

I did not like the AI pictures for our profile and I think if we could choose one from our galleries or maybe be able to create an avatar would've been a lot better. Another thing: I miss the premium package. Having to use the diamonds was terrible, especially to be able to see pictures and videos. I mean, it was so much easier paying once and then having it forever. I hope Everbyte brings it back.

About the story itself: I know the beginning is very similar to Duskwood's but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I liked that we had more of the characters actually talking in videos and showing us real people--though I wish the others also had that. I enjoyed talking to Eric, a lot, I thought he was well written and fleshed out.

The unknown person who talked to us: I don't think it's the culprit or whoever Adam is after. I think it's someone who knows about us and Duskwood events, and probably has a close or at least familiar relation to Adam. Not sure if they said it was us in the forest just to scare or because they truly thought it was us and not Eric. I guess we'll see.

I also liked that Duskwood wasn't the first thing the characters thought because it actually made me happy to see how Ash and Charlie reacted to it, though I am super curious about the rumors and help Charlie mentioned. Also, I wonder how we're able to see the private chats again. Maybe something we learned from Jake? Or our phone still has something from Nymos that allows that? Not sure.

Lastly: the bodycam video from Alan? Oh my gods, I was on the edge of my seat and I swear I stopped breathing for a few seconds. I'm glad we had a glimpse into Duskwood but I wished we had had more. There are still so many questions left unanswered and I truly hope Everbyte will answer them at some point. I'm just glad enough that Jakes truly alive, though I have no idea why he left his things and why Alan was looking for him alone.

[skunkox]

"Until he gets tired of me."

That's was Darlin's answer anytime someone questioned their relationship with Sam. A pircing but deep pain would shoot through their chest every time they said it. But it was always said in a joking tone and a movement to distract the other person from their face.

No one needed to see how that thought may have hurt them. They knew what they were getting into from jump. Darlin' felt safe. Safer than they had felt in a long time. They found that safety in Sam and were grateful for it. Nothing is promised, and to have had Sam in their life at all was a blessing and a mercy.

As much as they hated the thought of Sam ever leaving them, Darlin' could never blame him. They'd fucked up so many times in their life. People had gotten hurt. They were reckless. In being so, caused Sam to strain himself to care and worry for them.

There were day they wished Sam would just pack up and go. To rid himself the headache of their presence. But whenever they woke, he was always right there, holding them close and tightly.

He'd never do that, though. It was obvious to anyone who actually bothered to see them together. The tenderness in his eyes. The gentleness of his touch. The vampire was beyond sprung for the wolf. He was happy. Like he was finally healing.

Sam wouldn't be going anywhere. Sam learned that about himself very quickly after the first couple of meetings. Darlin' knew as well. A part of their brain screamed to believe otherwise. They hadn't done anything to deserve his grace. His patience. His love. Love that was promised to them until the end of their time.

"Do you think Count Yee-Haw will stay?"

The question had been asked once again. This time, by a young boy named Carlos. He had gotten attached to Darlin' as a toddler and was one of the few pack members that was genuinely happy to see them back.

Count Yee-Haw was the nickname the the pack kids had given Sam. Only they could call him that, though. It was a name bestowed upon him after the collective decided to put his vamp strength to the test. The poor man was literally dog piled and left to hold and stumble around with a minimum of 8 kids hanging off his frame like ornaments. It was a title he was growing fond of.

"Probably. At least until he gets tired of me." Darlin gave the boy a half-hearted smile and pulled forward the hood of his jacket.

"I heard some of the adults talking. They said that he wouldn't stay when you get older." Carlos admitted, frown all too clear on his face. "It's stupid. He obviously loves you. And you're happy now. Isn't that enough?"

The words spoken came from a place of care. Carlos had missed his favorite rebel and defender of Asher's antics. Truth be told, he was worried Darlin' would become uneasy around the pack again and got MIA again. They were more stable with the southern vamp at their side.

Darlin' was about ready to hug the kid in an attempt to soothe his nerves. But a single thought ran through their head. Carlos was a sweet kid. But what he said was just a little nice? Too nice to come from a tween.

"Besides. I don't think you'll ever stop being weird. A d he already talks like an old ma-." Darlin' cut him short with a smack to the back of his head.

"If you think that, why even ask?"

"Because I know you hear them too. And I don't want you guys to go anywhere."

🦇🐺🦇🐺🦇🐺🦇🐺

If you read all that, I'm sorry.

Labeling this as part 1 cause I'm tired. Sorta been drained all week. Hoping to get actually rest this weekend and do a part 2. I have a habit of starting things and not finishing.

AO3 scares me, so small shit will remain here for the time being.

[bizlybebo]

DUDE DONT JUST MENTION YOUR DAKOTA HEADCANONS AND NOT SAY THEM!?

Please share :}

HELLO I FELL BACK ASLEEP BEFORE YOU SENT THIS ASK BUT OKOK

most of these are sadder/heavier cause they elaborate a lot on pre-canon and his childhood but ^__^ there’s also a few happy ones. they’re not all as neat and thought out as my last post but oh well

- said this one a couple times before already but I don’t think Dakota really celebrates Christmas/his birthday anymore after the Resurgence, and they became very lonely holidays for him after he lost his parents. His aunt tried her hardest, but she was losing herself and money wasn’t exactly an easy thing. None of PD is entirely aware of this until Tide (who, like Ashe, also goes all out for xmas) buys him presents and he starts ugly crying.

- I also think he sort of Knew everybody in New Haven because he would often procrastinate going home after school, wandering the city and trying to distract himself until he knew he had to go back to check on his aunt. He started bringing Katori on a lot of these adventures after a while.

- Katori was also the first person he came out to.

- Actually here’s a normal happy one real quick: he’s mixed race ^__^ specifically latino/native and black to me

- I think he’s the kind of person to kick and move around a lot in his sleep (actually this is basically canon). Whenever he has nightmares at least one of PD insists on laying with him to help him fall back asleep and they wake up with like. a black eye

- Also THIS MOTHERFUCKERS LOVE LANGUAGE IS TOUCHH. He literally just kinda drapes himself over people like a cat or randomly tackles them with hugs. With Ashe and William, he’s more gentle (since Ashe has mobility issues + other issues from everything and Williams joints aren’t always the best). But his ass does NOT hesitate to slam into Vyncent and it creates an insanely funny visual of this 5’4 lil guy absolutely ramming into a like. 6’2 Vyncent and knocking him flat over

- I think he has a lot of respect for wild animals, and so when he was with Mato Cole, he wasn’t exactly disney princess-ing it out there but the animals did kind of Know him after a while and so they wouldn’t approach him but they wouldn’t flee either. They’d feel safe to like walk past him etc.

- also I think this kid, despite being scared of spiders etc, would cry so hard if he stepped on a bug and killed it. he’d feel guilty :(

[spookypumpkinlatte]

I have been staring at the accept invite button for several minutes for server. Frozen but shaking. Why does this have to be so hard..

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 7: i miss my wife bonbon