#at least im aware of it..
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od-vents · 1 year ago
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Hate having a scratching stim tbh
Coz like, when it happens, it's one of those stims that goes for a while before being able to stop it.
With how I sit criss-cross a lot, the scratching will most likely end up on my legs. One time, just chilling in my room. My sis came in, and me being in shorts having completely forgot abt the fuckin scratchin, red scratch lines basically all up my legs an shit. AND SHE ASKS IF I WAS HARMING MYSELF AGAIN
Like. Thanks for caring, but. It's not cut marks? It's just. Scratch scratch scratch. That's not self-harm.
She brings it up to dad minutes after she left my room, and now I'm just sitting, on the verge of fucking tears coz I can hear them fucking talking abt me.
I hate having this stupid stim, coz if it continues, if they see more of the scratching marks, I know they're gonna want to end up seeing if I have SHed in easier to hide places. I don't want to have to go back to the hospital. I don't care if my last visit was just 2 weeks. It sucked there. I faked it just so I could leave, and I'm so certain my sister caught on to that a bit after I had left(this was a few years back, btw.) And she knows my fucking mental health has be shit and gotten shittier.
And I know it's bad. But I'm so scared that if they do end up seeing if I've made new SH scars, they will find them. Coz I was fucking stupid I didn't even think about hiding the few well enough.
And if I start wearing baggie clothing again, they'll get even more suspicious abt it all coz it's getting warmer here.
I just. I fucking hate all of this. I hate that I can't just be in an okay mindset without it deteriorating and shrivling back into whatever the fuck is going on rn. I hate how recently I've just been wishing I could just be what the majority of the world considers "normal" and that I've just been masking its behind a fucking "teehee :3"
I'm not okay. I am not fucking okay. But the courage to speak up and ask for help, to just reach for someone to talk to irl without having a breakdown and hiding behind a fucking smile and being "a good daughter/sister/aunt" again. That courage just isn't there, and I don't think it ever will be.
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wyrmswyrds · 6 days ago
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Mumby....
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francy-sketches · 1 year ago
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cringe ass family ❤
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ar-mage-ddon · 5 months ago
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there was never any other way this could've gone
( EPHEMERWEEK 6: prophecy )
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araneapeixes · 5 months ago
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i wasnt gonna share this until i color it but like the lineart is on my patreon or whateverrrr....
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dreamsy990 · 1 month ago
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TELEMACHUS AND ANTINOUS. FINALLY
#throwing a tiny bit of (NOT FULLY THOUGHT OUT AND VERY MUCH A WIP) info about them here for u guys#i was trying to figure out what the fuck antinous could do in this au#and then i was like oh wait monster hunter. obviously#so hes a monster hunter lol#<- this is actually sorta funny because the temporary odysseus lore i have is that he used to be a monster hunter at one point#and then he got bit on the job or something lol#aughhh this is very embarassing to admit but this whole au in my head is very heavily inspired by the danganronpa fic out for blood#so i will admit. i just stole hajimes backstory from that fic#btw you guys should read that fic. even if youre not into danganronpa it doesnt really rely on canon at ALL and its very good#anyways as a temporary thing i dont really think borrowing that matters#anyways monster hunter antinous just seems like the natural conclusion here idk idk#i dont really have a solid story in mind in general so im not worrying about how different aspects interact atm#anyways telemachus thoughts now#hes obviously still penelope and odys kid so. funny vampire/werewolf hybrid thing lets talk about that#so i imagine he takes after odysseus in MOST things. he is for all intents and purposes mostly just a werewolf#but ahh. ok i dont know werewolf lore so im gonna explain it#(its very much again just based on one really good danganronpa fic i read)#i think when turned its sort of like. a blackout blind rage. very little complex thought involved. just kill and maim etc#<- not getting too into it bc of tag limits. lmk if you want me to ramble about how werewolves in this au work though#anyways i think since telemachus isnt a full werewolf this doesnt fully apply to him#he may or may not have violent instincts but he could probably resist them and hes at least semi-aware when turned#anyways i think penelope dresses him. thats why hes so fancy. very much giving off heavy vampire energy despite barely being one#is he immortal* like a vampire? we dont know and were not gonna test it hopefully!#also he could probably drink blood he doesnt HAVE to though and he doesnt like the taste really. penelope does not get it </3#ok done rambling in the tags now time for art tags#doodles#epic the musical#epic monster au#antinous#telemachus
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aevris · 2 months ago
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someone amazing's in the room and i don't want them to be there
i think it would be fun if the fem AU had some "do i want to be her or be with her" jealousy vs desire confusion. just for fun.
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sushiisiu · 1 year ago
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klapollo fans have you seen the new drama cds from the trilogy it is so gay. first one has apollo, phoenix and ema going to klav's solo concert and apollo changing his mind on klav's music because of their experiences together in court and geeking out and then klav invites him on stage to duet love love guilty together. this is so huge this is enormous bro. look at this. polly sounds so cute
EDIT: ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF THE WHOLE THING IN THE REPLIES
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ghostbsuter · 2 years ago
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Can be read as a continuation of this
.・゜-: ✧ :-
It's been a few weeks, really, since the day he met his biological father.
The oversized hoodie drowned him, a perfect haven while he waits near the entrance to arkham asylum.
The whole week rushed by after the event. His mom, wonderful, black belt, kickass mom had fretted over him the whole time, messaging his therapist not long after and getting an appointment.
His dad had been clingy, giving him bear hugs left and right, it felt nice. Jazz hadn't let him out of her sight for one moment, always searching, always studying.
Man, he loved his family.
"Are you going to visit him?" The gruff voice of Batman asks, and danny shrieks, jumping away as he looks at the vigilante with wide eyes.
"Oh Ancients—! Don't scare me like that!" Danny scolds, hand over his chest and breathing hard.
He can feel the amusement wafting off of Batman. Or something.
Huffing, the child leans against the brickstone pillar holding the gate again.
"No," he ends up answering. "I'm not here to visit... him."
Batman listens quietly, simply standing next to him. He doesn't pressure nor demand anything. If danny thinks more of it, he might get a headache.
"My sister is an intern in Arkham, we're gonna have dinner with Harley and Ivy today." A shrug, and the wind lovingly pushes him.
"Good." The man states, he hesitates a moment before he stretches his arm out towards danny, opening his hand and showcasing the items.
First is a lollipop, famous for being handed over to children after being saved by the bat himself. Second is a pin, in the shape of Batman's signature bat, it had a red button on the other side however.
"It's an emergency alert, in case anything like this happens again." Is quickly explained and Danny takes them, if not a bit tense.
He is unused to the trust the man shows him despite how short their time was spent together. Danny wonders if the bat already snooped around.
"Thanks—"
"Danny!"
His head snaps to the gate opening, brightening up as Jazz runs through and hugs him.
"Jazz!" He eagerly hugs back, thank looks up at her.
"You gotta meet Bat—" He trails off when they turn to the empty spot next to the pair, wind rustling leaves just as he finished. "man..."
Damn batman.
Danny huffs and tugs at Jazz's jacket. "Nevermind then, c'mon let's get a nice present before we visit harley."
Simply bringing her up seems to have Jazz excited. "I still can't believe we're having dinner with THE Dr. Harleen Quinzel!!!"
"And her wife."
"aND THE Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley!!!"
Her enthusiasm is rubbing off on him, he grins, hooking up his arm around hers, and they're skipping towards town, laughing like maniacs.
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xxplastic-cubexx · 5 months ago
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erik will genuinely jump at any chance he can to steal charles' last name and be so catty about it i know this for a fact WHAT is his deal
[Magneto (2011)]
#cherik#snap chats#if i had a nickel every time erik went by 'mr xavier' at some point id have two and its making me wheeze#like at least the first time it was to be headmaster or whatever so it at least makes sense but vjaevlEVEKJV WHY#needed our mandatory charles mention for the magneto issue ig alright ill take it#legit tho why did he feel inclined to steal charles name vjelkvjeaklj like his names 'erik magnus' in this#while i was trying to answer that fashion ask i stumbled upon this thing and gave it a quick read#its only one issue and fairly short so why not#Context Squad I Guess this issue's just sharing the first time erik moves to new york#hence. stealing charles name i guess vjaLVKJAJKL like girl you didnt do anything evil yet ..... alright .... just to be sure ig...#do you ever think he freezes getting called mr xavier or is he so used to it at this point#maybe he twirling his hair and giggling to himself every time he hear it idk#oh but yeah he didnt do anything evil yet. he actually gets his suit in this issue from a woman named cassandra .....#not charles sister of course but still im laughing anyway because he wants her to join him in his Not-Brotherhood group#and shes like 'i met you like five days ago youre insane' and the sort#its an ok read. its unnerving seeing erik smile so much- especially so broadly but its not like. an offensive issue. its standard#it does the job on sharing the story. not that im a critic of any sort vjalkjkaLJ#at the very least it's implied erik has a notable accent in this so thats very cool 🥰#its always cute whenever erik admits hes a drama lover too like vjeLVJEalkvjelkj like at least hes self aware this theater kid 😩#ok bye ive been meaning to work on something but ive been running around all day valkvjkae
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seventeendeer · 9 months ago
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this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.
he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.
Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.
to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."
but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?
again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.
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lu-polls · 6 months ago
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amogus-real-not-clickbait · 6 months ago
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
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claymton · 8 months ago
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"the moralorel fandom is okay with liking flawed and traumatized characters until it's Cecil creepler" is the trauma not being able to molest/groom a 12 year old
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missingn000 · 8 months ago
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hey, y’all! i’ve got an exciting announcement to make!!
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i’ve posted a few times about my upcoming seraphim ace (designated s-flame) fic, titled heaven down an angel. it’ll be a multi-chap story starting with an egghead arc rewrite, followed by a journey throughout the grand line and beyond. however, what i haven’t shared yet is this: i’ve got a partner in crime for this monstrosity! meet my close friend and amazing artist nera (@njere), who will be illustrating this fic!!
info, premise, and more art below cut!! (thank you to nera for the beautiful pic formatting✨)
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and last but not least: tpg readers, don’t be alarmed! i’ll get back to it someday. just gotta get this out of my system first. :)
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yurislilygarden · 1 year ago
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ʚїɞ Self Aware! Hazbin Hotel
ʚїɞ Their reaction after becoming self aware and first thoughts about reader! part 1
ʚїɞ Alastor and Lucifer Morningstar
ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!
ʚїɞ Word count: just about 1.7k
ʚїɞ I planned for all hotel characters first but then I realized how much I'm thinking on each paragraph and its details that I decided to just do 2-3 charas per part😭
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Very few characters would notice something wrong on the first watch of the show, but wouldn't realize, nor become self-aware until the 2nd or further watch. 
While everyone's reaction would be different with different amounts of stages before total acceptance of the situation, they all would share the first emotion, simple disbelief. They would first need to even process the fact that they're not real, that they were created solely for the purpose of entertaining… something? Someone? In a completely different Universe. That everything that they thought had happened to them before they died didn't actually happen, they were never alive in the first place. Only after that did the emotions and reactions differ. The very first emotion or actual personal reaction would be:
ALASTOR
Irritation with a hint of madness.
His first thoughts about the situation would be how ironic it is that he seeks entertainment for himself while his own person, no, character, was a source of entertainment for whatever was watching them from time to time. It was quite ironic how he said that his face was made for radio when the truth couldn't be further from that. He was literally created solely to be watched on that funny colored box by… whatever was watching him and the others.
He was irritated at not noticing that something was wrong immediately, now he thinks about how blind he was, how obvious everything was. The city is actually quiet, too quiet when the noise and demons aren't needed, when they're not meant to be heard. Nothing actually happened that one time when he was out for a fix of his coat, it just got magically fixed, he went and came back when someone else decided he was to do so. They didn’t have much actual free will when he thought about it and that's what he was mad about. He thought that his deal was a massive problem to him, oh how wrong he was because the problem was you.
He doesn't know how he or the others didn't notice the small, glowing butterfly flying above their heads from time to time. They couldn't be that blind, could they? The little crystal thing (could he break it?) must have done something to be unnoticed for so long. He wondered how long they were watched for, the little thing above their heads seemed to be speaking sometimes, seemingly knowing what would happen… at least he thought so, the words would cut out so often that he was left with a pure guess at one point.
He didn't want to accept that he wasn't real, that he was just a 2D character with the sole purpose of entertaining someone. He was meant to be the one entertained, not you. But he couldn't actually do anything, could he? For sure not until more of the people he knew were aware. 
That's also something that he noticed. When it came to the hotel staff and guests, he seemed to be the only one who realized the situation at first. It took a few times of some events repeating before he noticed that someone else from the hotel was noticing the little crystal butterfly above their heads as well. 
Alastor seemed to be the first, or one of the very first people who noticed that something was wrong. He wasn't sure if someone realized before him, and if they did then who, but he was somewhat glad that he could finally discuss the topic at least a little once the other hotel patrons found out about the truth. He isn't one to really open up in any way, but this was a matter where he had to communicate with the others.
You. He didn’t know what to think of you at first. He did see you in a more negative light at first, under many emotions hitting him at once which he hated but after he calmed down, he started thinking. At first, he was sure you were some sick person seeking entertainment from the suffering of others, and yeah he was doing pretty much the same, but were you really alike when he wasn’t even real and you were? He was pretty sure that he’s never gonna get used to saying that.
Over time, when he stopped overthinking (he’s gonna deny that he was doing that till the day of his 2nd death), he noticed a few changes. The less negative his posture and thoughts were about you, even if neutral, the more he was able to find out. Alastor was able to pick up more than a few words whenever you talked, he was able to hear you talking clearly enough to recognize a possible gender, and something he wasn’t sure that he wanted to think about, it was way easier to pick up your emotions in your words.
I feel like he would be more lenient towards you if it turned out you were a female (or identified as one), but that would be the mama’s boy inside of him talking. There wouldn’t be too many differences of course, but those who spent enough time around him would be able to tell there's a difference after finding out your gender if it turned out you weren’t a man (again, not too much but it IS noticeable).
He would go from lowkey hating you at first to being mostly neutral with a hint of positive light as you seemed to do nothing but watch, up until later on when everyone is self-aware as well and would talk about the whole thing. Only then would the feelings towards you, the little watcher, as he first called you, turn more positive.
LUCIFER
Massive inner conflict and a complete mix of emotions
He didn’t know what to think. It was hard to comprehend that he didn’t actually live for as long as he thought, that all the things that supposedly happened, in fact never were even close to happening, they were just… a scripted past. 
Was all his suffering for nothing? Was it there just to entertain someone? Did those things who watched them enjoy seeing them sad and hurt? He was simply lost on what to think about the whole situation, it wasn't something that he could prepare himself for in any way beforehand. 
He was disappointed in himself for not noticing immediately or at least faster that something was not right. He's the literal King of hell! Even if… only in a show apparently… but he still is. No one better say anything about that because he's already on the brink of a yet another breakdown. He cannot take much more.
Should he try doing something about this? Or should he stay quiet and go with the script as he's supposed to? He wasn’t sure about the answer himself and had no one to answer his questions. The thought that what he thought were eons of life was actually a lie was… a little terrifying. Who knows just how much can someone force them to do without caring for their opinions because they don’t know that he and the others are aware of everything now, how much can you cause without their consent? He wasn’t sure if you or anyone else knew about them being self-aware or not.
He would actually try to ignore the little butterfly whenever he would see it, but at the same time, many questions were swirling in his mind.
Why were you around? Did you like to see them suffering? Did you have any control over what you saw? Did you have some sort of control over them? Did you have plans regarding them? Did you-
Yeah, again, he has a lot of questions and absolutely zero answers.
His personal feelings about you were all around at first. Not sure whether he should hate, dislike, or be generally negative about you, be more neutral, or be on the more positive side, especially since you didn't seem to do anything but watch them. Like it's all that you could do when it comes to them, but he couldn't be 100% sure.
Similarly to Alastor, he would be one of the characters who noticed something wrong on the first watch of the show before becoming self-aware quite soon after that. I don't think he, nor Alastor, would notice the other knows too fast, since both try to act like nothing's wrong around others. He did not want to be just a 2D character, something to be watched on a screen. It was… humiliating, in his eyes. He could tell that Charlie and the others weren't aware of anything at first so he didn't speak about it until later on when he was sure that they came to their senses, as he would like to say.
He wondered how long were you actually there before he, or anyone else, started to see or notice you, especially since he could literally hear you. Both as the small insect and the occasional words he was able to pick up. And that's if he was to forget the butterfly was literally, softly fucking glowing. Yeah, they're all blind.
I think that if you’re on the younger side, (which technically is any age a human can be alive at compared to him lmao) he would be a little softer, especially if you're similar to his daughter in character. It would come from the paternal side of his, you would probably remind him of Charlie so much :(
He would be more on the negative side at first, as much as he wishes he didn't straight up assume how you were as a person, it took some time but he went into the more neutral zone before being positive about you after being able to hear more of you talking, as he was able to at least have more idea about your character and wasn't completely clueless like at the start.
Your nickname also got changed to something else, something cuter over time, as Alastor’s name for you, little watcher, was deemed not good enough by everyone (Lucifer's words)
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Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated
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