#at least it wasnt bleach today

[emmashouldbewriting]

Our power went out again right after I'd started applying my hair dye to my hair...

And come back on after I'd just finished washing it out in the kitchen sink 🤦‍♀️

[davekat-sucks]

why do people like rwby wasnt it made in mmd

It's actually from Poser, another 3D model program much like Blender or Unity. I can understand why people think it is like MMD since MikuMikuDance is the only freeware program that is more well known in the anime community to make videos and animations with Japanese fictional characters such as Miku, Haruhi, etc. Some had also mistaken some of the characters looks to be recolored assets of other models like Weiss looking a bit too similar to Akita Neru because the hair is in the same place or Velvet looking like Reisen from Touhou. Some claimed he had BOUGHT some of the models off TurboSquid, a site that lets users by existing models. But any models that might have been bought or used was not credited in RWBY. Modeler's names were there, but it was probably for the people to alter the model and animate it to what we see today, not the original model creators themselves. Does it count as stolen if it is bought and no credit? Or is it a case like asset flipping? It's true some of the MMD models back then at the time were available and free, but they still insist to be given credit if used in any video or fanart. This still carries over even today. Some are bit harsher for having deadlines or complicated passwords that only Japanese users understand and not let Westerners steal it. I wanna say Monty did not steal or ported MMD models to Poser, but he may have bought at least some on TurboSquid and lacked credit. He also did original models, but was not aware of it being too close like other MMD models at the time of making it. Taking influences from other anime series may have also caused people confusion like Adam's hair being too much like Grimmjow from Bleach. At least they are able to make their own models from scratch now thanks to Maya.

[mayo-advance]

Feels Like Forever

Durmstrang! Pietro Maximoff x Hogwarts! reader

Discription: Y/n was not one to have silly things like crushes. However a cute boy in the library is very insistant and who is y/n to flat out say no?

A/n: i cried. while writing this. Here is the Yule ball au i talked about a few weeks ago. Like there were tears spilled. The story was not meant to go that way. This is the best thing ive written to date im so proud of it i didnt even check the word count.

—————————

If the triwizard tournament wasnt enough, now Hogwarts is hosting a ball too.

Splendid.

You werent even in the tournament but it disrupted everything constantly. There were strange students from the visiting schools on the school grounds constantly and the tournament made everyone restelss. The whole school was to attend the tournaments but you found yourself in the back of the stands reading a book.

And now theres a ball.

A perfect excuse for all of the lovebirds to get to show off how mushy gushy their love for each other is while all of the single folk stand awkwardly aside with whatever date they scraped off the bottom of their shoe.

The only place of solitude was the Library and even then, Beuxbaton and Durmstrang students were allowed inside to attend to their estudious needs. They were guests after all and the headmaster would rather be caught dead then caught being a bad host.

Frankly, it made you feel displaced.

You could feel how they looked at you at your desk while they walked by, even in the corner its like they all walked by to put empahsis on the fact that they were there at all.

A few desks away along the wall, a durmstrang student would sit quite occasionally as well. He was usually alone although sometimes he had a friend or two.

When he was alone you couldnt help but steel glances. When he was alone that rigid need to be left alone evaporated in your brain.

He had bleach blonde hair but beneath it you could see dark roots (not that you were looking too hard) and he had some dark scruff on his chin as well. The hair was a shocking contrast to the bright red uniform and the dark brown furs he wore whenever he was around.

He was quite attractive although you’d never be caught dead admitting it. You were notorious for never chasing after someone let alone getting a crush.

It didnt matter anyways, you didnt know him and he didnt know you and at the end of this year he would be gone.

But for now you would admire him from afar.

Well, as of today you would admire him up close.

He is standing by your desk in the corner as you approach. Hes looking you straight in the eye and for the first time, as you draw nearer, you see the color of his eyes.

They were the most gorgeous part about him you could say. They were a sweeping shade of blue and as you looked into them in your mind you were skating on a shimmering frozen lake, balancing above unkown depths. The uniform colors were such a shame in this moment because if you weren’t paying too much attention youd notice the bright clashy red over the blue.

“You’re staring.”

You blushed as you realized you had indeed been staring. He was looking straight at you still.

You tried to recover, “Well I’m-i’m just not used to people here…” You did not recover well, “at this specific desk I mean, not here at this desk.”

The durmstrang boy let out a quiet laugh. “You were a lot calmer all the other times I was here.”

You were completely flushed by now, your face felt hot and your heart was hammering in your chest. You were not known for having crushes.

This boy was about to shatter your reputation.

“Anyways- i’m Y/n” Its rude to not introduce yourself. At least in your mind muddled state you could remember that.

The boys eyes sparkled, “My name is Pietro.”

An awkward silence filled the air only broken by the rapid pounding of your heart.

Pietro stared at you waiting for you to respond, but when you didn’t he cleared his throat a little. “I was wondering, with the Yule Ball so close, if you had a date?”

The pounding of your heart froze. Oh no he was not. You were not gonna be the last minute date scraped off of the bottom of a shoe. Nuh uh. No way.

He let out an uncertain smile, “I just thought it would be a shame letting someone as pretty as you not get asked.”

“You don’t need to pity me.” For the first time during the conversation you looked away from him. You put all of your focus on anything but him. You acted as if staring at ‘important remedies of the 1600’s’ was far more important than the man before you.

“I never did pity you, if you really dont want to go, come anyways. but with me. And if you have zero fun ill let you leave whenever.”

You moved past him towards your desk. “Are you striking a bargain Mr…”

“Maximoff.”

“Mr Maximoff?” You looked back at him and raise an eyebrow.

He nodded, looking at you hopefully, “I wont force you to stay, just please show up.”

You sighed, “Fine.”

A beat passed. You turned to your work and he stayed still.

He didnt move.

“If you want to pull a chair up you can study with me.”

—————————————-

You and Pietro studied together daily in the weeks leading up the the Yule ball, always at the desk in the corner.

You found yourself enjoying his company more and more. You also found yourself looking forward to the Yule Ball more and more. Not that you’d ever say that.

You found the most gorgeous dress (or suit if you prefer a more masculine look although I think anyone could rock a dress) at hogsmeade a week before the Yule ball and you couldn’t help but hope that Pietro would like it too.

The study sessions got the point where whenever you were going to the library to study you’d seem Pietro out first and offer to let him join.

You’re little ‘falling for him’ thing got so bad that you started hanging out with him outside of the library.

You were in some deep trouble. Because now the idea of ‘whats the point of making friends when theyre just going to leave.’ was hitting you. You couldn’t just fall in love with a boy only for him to leave.

Thats not fair.

None of that would matter tonight though as you got into your dress (or suit) and styled your hair into an elegant style. You couldn’t help but feel giddy inside because this really amazing person asked you to the ball.

Your dormmates teased you for looking excited. Before Peitro had asked you to the ball you had bashed the whole idea. You didn’t care. Tonight was going to be perfect.

————————————

You walked down the hallway where you and Pietro had agreed to meet, he hadnt arrived yet but the ball also hadnt started yet so you were in no rush.

You leaned against the wall as you waited, closing your eyes and realizing that this is the last moment of quiet before the big, crowded, loud ball.

“You look gorgeous.”

You jumped a bit to the side as you whipped your head over to where Pietro leaned against the wall.

You put a hand against your heart feeling how fast it was from that spook. “Jesus christ I didnt realize you were there.”

“Im just naturally sneaky like that.”

You scoffed, “Oh yeah, says the guy who knocked a whole shelf of books down one day in the library.”

Pietro shrugged, “I dont see any bookshelves around here so therefore i must be a ninja.” He offered his arm.

You took his arm and the two of you made your way to the ball. “I wasnt joking though, you look stunning.”

“You’re still wearing that same shade of red.”

“What does that mean?”

“It distracts from your eyes.”

Pietro smiled over at you, “Does that mean you like to stare into my eyes?”

You glanced at him briefly, “of course.”

You two came upon the great hall now a light shade of shimmering blue and you wished you could say it was the most gorgeous shade of blue youve ever seen but in that moment as you stepped into the hall you looked over at Pietro and saw the way it all reflected in his eyes and you knew youd never see a more gorgeous color.

He looked over at you again, “what are you staring at?” He lightly mocked.

“You see? This shade of blue compliments your eyes very well.”

“I can in fact not see that but I will believe your word.”

As the first few people stepped out to dance you failed to notice that you two were among the first three couples to dance.

Maybe you wouldn’t leave so early.

Maybe you didn’t want to leave at all. The night dragged on so slowly but at the same time too fast. On one hand you can barely remember how you and Pietro started dancing but as the two of you swayed in circles it felt like forever.

God, please let it last forever.

You cherished every small detail. You tried to melt every aspect into your brain. The warmth of his hands as he held you, the way he smiled, the lazy sway, the small talk, and the color of his eyes. Your own name dimmed in the importance these things held to you.

Peitro looked down at you warmly. “You’re better at dancing than i expected.”

“Would you rather I be bad?”

He laughed, “Well there is something painfully endearing about a girl who stumbles over my toes. But then i get to teach her how to dance.”

“Teach me anyways.” Anything to make the moment last longer.

And so he did, twirling you out in large movements and changing the pace, showing you different ways to place your feet and even dipping you at some point.

The dip. His face had gotten so close to yours.

You could have closed that distance.

Why didnt you close that distance?

Why were you so stubborn about not wanting to like him?

—————————————-

“I am waiting for you, you know.” He whispered

days later was you sat at the edge of the forbidden forest, under a large tree.

You scrunched your eyebrows, “Waiting for me to what?”

“To accept that you like me the way I like you.”

You scoffed, “sure, if thats what you wanted to believe.”

Pietro shrugged, “You didnt have to stay at the dance until it ended at two in the morning. You didnt have to dance with me the entire time but you did. And you had a big smile the whole time.”

You opened your mouth in potest but he went on- “It may mean nothing but it meant everything to me.”

You felt your face flush and you looked away.

A teacher approached from over the hill, gesturing for the two of you to come up. You started getting up but Pietro shook his head at you, “They only need me.”

You dont know what made you listen and sit there but you sat and watched as he made his way up the the teacher.

—————————————

His eyes were cold.

The maze had gotten him real well.

The maze was deadly, everyone knew that but you hadnt paid much mind to what was happening. You couldnt find Pietro in the crowd so you decided the task wasnt worth your attention.

For someone who spends so much time in the library you were real stupid.

You sat with your nose in a book as those red sparks went up and you sat there still when his cold body was recovered.

All that time with him and you had never realized he was a champion.

The only reason you realized was the audience going up in hysterics.

You looked up and there he was.

Gone.

You saw him but all you could see behind the veil of tears was the ball. The way his eyes shone.

Without listening to the cries of the teachers around you, you stumbled down next to him. You kneeled despite all of the voices telling you to stay back.

His eyes were open. Unblinking. Unseeing.

Your tears fell upon his cheek.

“You’re staring you know.” You muttered mostly to yourself.

For someone who spent so much time in the library you sure were stupid.

Why were you so stubborn about not wanting to like him?

—————————————-

He dances in your dreams. In your dreams hes warm and hes laughing and hes kind.

In your dreams you close that distance.

In you dreams most nights hes still waiting for you.

You dance slow. You dance slow and you tell him that he doesnt have to wait anymore because you caught up.

In your dreams you are with him forever.

——————————————

Taglist: @pogueslandia , @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @aesthetixhoe

[brelione]

Feild Trip with a Rich Bitch (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Part Two

Mentions of drugs,Rafe being a bitch,swearing and blow torches :)

Also,Goddess Part Three will be up by Friday afternoon.If you would like to be tagged please let me know :)

He had always hated Pogues.Then he met you.

You worked at a car repair shop in The Cut.He had come in on his bike,well,he had walked the broken piece of shit to the shop.You were the only one working that day.He couldnt help but think you looked adorable with your long sleeve yellow shirt under dark blue overalls,a backwards red hat and at least six silver chains draped across your neck.You had been extremely focused,sitting indian style as you smoothed a weird bump on a car with a nail file. “So are you gonna stare at me or are you gonna tell me what youre doing here,pretty boy?”You asked,not taking your attention off the task at hand.He blinked,surprised by your carefree yet assertive tone. “Uhh...somethings wrong with my bike.”He mumbled,attempting to smooth out his hair.You let out a small laugh as you dragged a paint brush along the smooth metal,fixing the messy spot. “No shit.What’d you do to it?”You asked,spreading more paint across the metal.His face turned red as he glanced around the shop.

There were paintings across the walls,multiple tool boxes and a wall of paint swatches.There were six other cars parked,some of them with large dents,holes or scratches. “I drove it into a tree.”He mumbled.You nodded. “Magnificent job,pretty boy.How are you gonna have a bike as expensive as that one then drive it into a tree?”You asked.He just shrugged,hands in his pockets.You put your paintbrush down into a cup of water,pulling out a blowtorch from seemingly nowhere.The flame hovered above the paint,drying and hardening it.Once you were satisfied with the paint job you stood up,brushing off your pants.You still had the blowtorch in your hand,the potential weapon swinging next to your thigh as you walked towards Rafe. “You gotta put the kickstand down,pretty boy.”You reminded him,gesturing to the bike.He nodded. “Right.”He nodded,putting the kickstand down and turning the handlebars so it would lean on the metal rod.One of the tires seemed blown out,a straight hole through the seat and multiple scratches across the metal.He watched as you looked over it.

You pulled at one of your chains. “So are you going to tell me what actually happened?”You asked,crossing your arms over your chest.That caused him to look down at your chest and the bleach stains across the front of your overalls.You snapped your fingers to get his attention back to your eyes.He cleared his throat,looking back up at you. “So how much for the repairs?”He asked.You smirked. “Well...i’d say $150 but you’re an asshole so thats an additional $15 and you’re also ruining my day so that would be another $15.”You twirled one of your chains,looking into his blue eyes.He bit his tongue,glancing between you and his bike. “And whats the fee for you not to tell anyone youre keeping my bike here?”He asked.You ran the tip of your tongue along your teeth with a devil like smile.God,this boy had never been in this kind of situation before.You werent even gonna tell anyone in the first place.You could probably charge him hundreds of dollars for all the things he’s done and he wouldnt be able to do anything about it.You were the best repair woman on the island and anyone else would go straight to his dad.It was 11 in the morning.You had pulled an all nighter for the third time that week and you hadnt eaten yet.Plus,if you sent Rafe to the store he could buy the expensive shit.

 “Theres a store three blocks away.Youre gonna go there and buy everything on the list and youre not gonna question it.”You told him.His eyebrows furrowed as he watched you take a notepad out of your pocket along with a pen,jotting things down.You tore the paper off,folding it and handing it to him.He took it,frowning and confused. “Hurry up.”You told him.He nodded,no words or sounds escaping his lips as he left the garage and made his way down the street.He knew what store you were talking about,the one with the sleeping cat outside.It was awfully quiet as he walked.Most of the time all the exciting things happened at night,not 11 in the morning.Either that or all the pogues were hiding from him,his gelled hair and his ugly ass khakis.He unfolded the piece of paper,reading it.Three large lemons,two large monster energy drinks,a bag of doritos and a pack of gum.It was a strange request but he wasnt supposed to question it.He had kept his head down at the store,grabbing three of the largest lemons he saw,two random monster energy drinks,the doritos and three packs of gum.

He didnt know what kind of gum you liked but you probably had to like one of the three,right?When he got back you were using your blowtorch on a part of the bike you had painted. “Put the bag on the work table and touch nothing.”You spoke loudly,confidently.He found your confidence unbelievably attractive.He never let anyone boss him around like this but ther was just something about you.You held some sort of power over other pogues,he could tell that much by the few boneyard parties he’d gone too.The others were attracted to you,some of them held their breath as you walked by,others just kept their distance.He didnt know where such nice chains had come from.They looked like they had weight,indicating that they were real.He had carefully walked over to your work table,seeing multiple small jars of paint,brushes,metal sheets,files,nails,screws and your cell phone.It was a pretty old model.He set the bag down on an empty spot,watching as a notification came across your phone.Eighteen days sober!Log this milestone.He frowned.Sober from what?

He shook it off,walking back around to where you were with his bike. “I was worried that you’d set my bike on fire or something.”He spoke quietly,trying to make conversation.You glared up at him,eyebrows casting shadows over your irises. “What?Cause im a dirty pogue?”You asked.He shook his head frantically. “Thats not what I meant I-”He began to explain himself but you cut him off. “So because im fixing your bike im different?”You asked.He sighed. “I just meant because of the blowtorch-Im sorry.”He mumbled.You stood up,blowtorch in hand. “Know your place,rich bitch.Your bike will be done by three,save yourself the embarrassment and go home to your mansion.”Your voice was dripping in venom,eyes narrowing.He gulped. “I cant go back home without my bike,my dad will kill me.”He mumbled,looking down at you.You smirked. “Good.”You replied before kneeling down again by the bike,getting back to work. “God,could you stop staring at me?Go sit somewhere or sue a tree or some shit.”You huffed.He almost tripped over his own feet,finding a chair and sitting down.He tapped his food on the ground anxiously. “So um...how long have you been fixing cars?”He asked.

You slammed the blow torch down on the concrete. “Could you shut the fuck up?Please?”You asked.He bit his lip. “I dont like the silence.”He replied. “And I dont like loud noises.”You answered. “What are you sober from?”He asked.You sat there for a moment,eyes locked on the ground.You slowly stood up,walking towards him. “You went on my phone?”You asked.His mouth went dry and he was lost for words. “Rafe.”You snarled.He looked back up at you,beads of sweat collecting at his hairline. ��I-the notification-I just saw it and I just-God,im sorry (Y/N).”He sighed,looking away from you.Your hand reached up,gripping his jaw and making him look at you. “Didnt I tell you to shut the fuck up?”You asked.He looked away from you,only looking back when your grip tightened. “Yeah.”He muttered. “And you’re gonna be good and shut that pretty mouth of yours,right?”You asked,squeezing harder on his flesh.He hummed. 

“Good.”You mumbled,taking your hand away and getting back to work.You could feel him staring at you,the way your fingers moved as you grabbed your tools.He understood now.He understood the pogues’ fear and admiration of you.He felt like one of them,caught up in your beauty and the way you carried yourself while simultaneously being slightly afraid of you.You walked past him,grabbing one of the monsters.You grabbed a knife from the table.He watched as you cut open the bottom of the energy drink and shot gunned it,wiping your mouth when you were done.You grabbed a lemon from the bag,cutting an end of it off.You pulled a container of a white powder,opening it and coating the lemon slice in it. “Dont stare at me like that.Its salt,nothing you can snort.”You grumbled,taking the slice out and placing it in your mouth.Your eyes didnt squint and your eyebrows didnt furrow at the taste. “You...you eat lemons in salt?”He asked.You pulled the lemon slice from your teeth,biting the salt coated fruit as it left your mouth. 

“I do.”You replied. “It helps with cravings.”You finished your thought,going to fix the bike seat.Rafe had sat on his phone until one in the afternoon when he heard someone come in. “You havent answered your phone,thought you were dead or something.”A deep voice said.Rafe heard you giggle. “Only on the inside,sunshine.I’m busy with work right now,tell the others ill be around by seven.”He heard the tone of your voice.Friendly,happy and almost excited. “Alright.Did you eat today?”The voice asked. “I had a lemon slice,ive got some doritos so dont worry too much.I’ll see you later.”You had told your friend. “Alright,sounds like a plan.”THe boys voice said before leaving.Rafe watched as you rolled a tire inside,replacing the one he had destroyed.Once you had replaced it you went back to the bag of goodies,cutting open the other monster.You chugged it,sighing as you stared up at the ceiling. “Why do you hate me so much?”Rafe asked suddenly.A smile tugged at your lips.

 “You beat up two of my boys,you come around starting shit and blaming it on us,you think youre just so fucking amazing when youre really just a bitch,you ran over my fucking mailbox,you drink and drive,you gave another one of my boys a fucking concussion and a scar and you wonder why I hate you?”You ranted,fists clenching.He just sat there,hands gripping the arms of the chair. “You just fuck things up.”You sighed.He licked his lips. “You sound like my dad.”He mumbled.You laughed. “Oh dont get me started on your dad.That bitch ruined my life.”You sighed,grabbing another lemon slice.He raised his eyebrows. “What?How?”He asked.You just giggled to yourself. “You really have no idea what your father has done to my family?No idea at all?”You asked.He shook his head.You just laughed again,the sound filling the air.It wasnt like the way you had giggled with your friend.It was empty and sarcastic,hiding anger that was building up inside of you. “You wanna go for a field trip,Rafe Cameron?”You asked.

[fuck-customers]

I realised today that I have driven away several customers, just by existing for the most part.

1. Older lady kept staring at me with that angry lady face, almost as if looking for something to be angry. It was just after my break so I wasnt angry at the world anymore because I had food in my stomach. It was busy but I was actually in a chipper mood. She didnt say a word to me, kept staring at me, and finally said something angrily at me as she left. I had a regular right behind her and he asked what her deal was. I shrugged. "People want to be angry sometimes." Well, he likes pretty much everyone who works here, so he went after her to ask her what her deal was, why she was so rude. She cursed him out at first then said that she could smell alcohol on my breath. That I was drinking on the job. The regular came in and went through my line again just to tell me. I hadnt had anything alcoholic in at least four months before the incident so idk where the fuck she got that impression. She came back a few weeks later and I was working. I recognised her from her stupid haircut and flashed her a big toothy grin. She stared at me for a long time before leaving. Havent seen her since. Good riddance. (The regular made it a joke a few times after, but all in good spirit)

2. Two things you need to know: I look female and I dye my hair. I have to bleach it a good amount before I can dye it, so this lady was watching the progression. She was real nice about it. I finally dyed it this beautiful pastel blue for a Halloween costume and went in. She came through my line, asked the typical questions, and then asked, "So how does your boyfriend like your hair?" I blinked and smirked and just said, "No idea. But my wife absolutely LOVES it." Lady went quiet. Havent seen her since either. Sayonara, homophobe.

3. Working the late shift, but it's the rush right before the evening lull. Guy and his girlfriend come thru, and theres a good deal of people behind them. The guy keeps trying to move stuff in the cart as I'm stacking it and I hit him a few times with items. I stack like items together like cold with cold and boxes with boxes, so I didnt see what the deal was. Finally he snaps, "Well, I HAD things stacked the way I wanted it bagged, but Speedy Gonzales here ruined that." The girlfriend looked at him, "Shes up here by herself. Calm down. Jesus." Kudos to her, fuck the boyfriend.

4. I sent in a submission about this a while back. But a lady threw the biggest hissy fit because I stacked things too close to her fresh chicken. That was sealed in its tray and not leaking in any way. I touched the edge of a bag of pears to it and she got pissed. She tried to complain to the store manager and he could not have given less of a fuck about her. The one time my manager is actually on my side.

5. This was more because of my girlfriend (not my wife as previously stated, we arent married yet). Lady went into the store my gf works in and complained she could get something cheaper at my store. My gf then told her most places were cheaper anyways, so might as well go there. Then she casually asked if the lady had ever seen someone with purple hair working there. Lady said yes. My gf said, "That one belongs to me!" All happy and cute. Lady apparently pursed her lips and hummed. Another homophobe. Banished.

6. I say the phrase, "That's fair," to agree with people. Like if someone says, "I'm doing my best," in response to a greeting and asking how their doing, I'll say, "That's fair." Because thats all you can do. Well, some guy said exactly that when i asked how he was doing. But he thought I said, "That's good." Like I wanted him to suffer. No, dude. I agree with you. He hasnt been back since and I feel kind of bad but its also whatever.

7. This is only semi because of my existence as a cashier but here we go. My company makes you pay for bags. Or you can bring your own or you can use empty boxes. We dont care how you take your groceries, as long as you take them. Hardly any store in my state does this. Only one other store in my entire town doesnt have plastic bags, and its an expensive natural grocery store, so not many people go there anyways. This family comes through my line with a giant cart. They unload. Or more the wife unloads and the husband comes and bitches about how they had to use a quarter to get the cart and why dont we have cart pushers and why did we take that job from people. I load my extra cart and they throw a fit when they have to move their baby to the new cart so I can have the empty. Then they ask why I didnt bag their stuff. I tell them you have to buy bags or bring your own and bag it yourself. I barely get through my sentence. The husband starts throwing a fit, saying it was the most ridiculous thing to pay for bags. That they could go down to Malwart to get bags and bring them. I just say that he could if he wanted, I do not care. My store manager is on the register ahead of me and turns to look at the guy and gives me this look of, "What the fuck." They bitch and the husband bitches at the store manager, whos trying to clear up how we do things. The wife goes to pay and her card declines. It says CARD FRAUD. She starts yelling at me like its my fault. I tell her she needs to call her bank, and we can hold their groceries. I get a suspend. The couple bitches rhe whole way out. My manager looks at me and says, "Theyre not coming back. If theyre gonna throw a fit over a couple of $0.07 bags, they can fuck off." Sure enough, they havent been back. Sorry I have to adhere to my company policy. Btw, if youre nice, I'll just let you take the bags. Its not like the $0.08 or $0.11 are coming out of my pocket. I get paid by the hour.

Thats all the stories I can think of right now. Im sure there'll be more. My existence enfuriates people for some reason.

[pbandjesse]

I think Im getting an ear infection. I could barely sleep last night the inside of my ear was so swollen. And it hurts a lot today. Like if I brush against it at all its like. Screamy pain. If I still feel like this in the morning I already let work know I wouldnt come in. But fingers crossed it just stops hurting cause its no fun. 

But despite the pain I was in, it wasnt a bad day. I had a lot of trouble sleeping, even moving to the studio for an hour last night. But eventually I did get some rest. But I still let myself stay in bed until almost 930. 

I got up though and tried to at least take advantage of the little bit of time I did have. 

I got washed and dressed. I liked my outfit a lot. I felt cute with my matching sweatshirt and earrings. I had breakfast and did some organizing and packing up clay for the kids to use today. I watched videos for a little bit. And I got a text from our landlady about a plumber and a HVAC guy were coming today and asking if it was okay for her to bring them in our place. And me and James answered at the same time saying almost the same thing and it made me laugh. Very cute. 

Im just glad Tina is so fast to work to get things fixed 

I ran into Mr Will as I was leaving. He offered me a ride over to the y site but I had time to kill. So I said goodbye and walked to walgreens to look and see if they have new squish yet. But no luck. They did have a truck outside though so maybe tomorrow if I check again. 

I got to work and there were just a lot of things happening, but it wasnt a bad time. Its just a little hard to fill the hours when the kids just refuse to do the things they need to do. Their classwork and homework. Im trying to get them on task but its hard. Especially when their schedules are all so different and seem to change all the time. And it sounds like were going to have 2 more kids start tomorrow. And now we have some kids that just come in the afternoon and its just really tough.

But there were nice parts. Like helping a kid who got overwhelmed by reading. And painting and building with some of them. It was nice. And when we did finally get into the clay project I had ready for them they did such a good job and that was just really cool. Its hard to come up with so many interesting projects. But Im really glad this one was successful. 

I did a lot of cleaning today and my hands smell very strongly of bleach and I hate it. I keep washing my hands but I cant seem to get it to stop smelling. But Im trying my best to ignore it. 

We did have some running around time. Ball throwing. Thankfully no injuries. And then we did a drawing competition and while it was hard for some of the kids to lose, its a good thing to learn. But in doing that we had to deal with some yelling and tears. But were proud of our winner and she got some candy. It was a fair vote, everyone got 3 votes to put on different pieces and not yourself. 

After that we watched a movie. Chilled out. I cleaned the class for the night and tried to make sure everyone had all their things. Which is stupid hard for some reason. Mostly chargers being the issue. 

Very quickly the kids got picked up though and we got to leave at 530.

I carried the kids' sculptures home to bake. And was really happy to be back here. 

James was making us falafel. And we played some animal crossing and just chilled until 7 when James got on a video call with a friend. I finished up what I was doing on the island before going to the studio to work for a little while. But I was a little distracted so I just finished one piece before calling it a night. 

I took a shower and washed my hair and now I am in bed feeling very tired but I still am in pain. I hope its better tomorrow. But I dont have high hopes. 

I hope you all have a good night though. Take care of eachother. 

[projectshadovv]

Can you tell us more about your fursona?

im gonna assume you mean Blank, my albino white shepherd!

Blank’s original name was Raven. i wanted a “dark” name to contrast her light appearance, like Shadow, or Shade, or Coal, or Smokey, but i went with Raven, i dont know why but i did!

i chose a white german shepherd because i was currently obsessed with Bolt, the disney movie!! its still one of my all time fav movies. 

I made her super plain white, turquoise eyes taken from the anime character Toshiro Hitsuguaya from Bleach (i always thought his eyes were the most BEAUTIFUL shade of blue EVER...)

i was also really into bandanas and camo patterns, specifically gray camo, thus ending up with THIS:

she wasn’t my main fursona then, i had a different character, but she was one of the many i had. i didnt draw her much, cause i liked complicated, fun designs, and she wasnt all that fun to draw. i mostly drew her in vent art cause it was the easiest, and she was more of a serious character (dont let that smile fool you)

When i finally up’d her to my main sona, i added a SHIT load of gear to her. this was during the era of making fun of wolf a boos and sparkledogs. they were major cringe, and i took great pride in NOT having such a colorful, blinding character. but she was STILL boring to draw, so what did i do?

GEARED HER UP BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i LOVE wearing hats, ofc i gave her one, including a spiked collar, and her gray bandana. wristbands, a ...bandage? i liked to wear as if i had some sort of wound, gave her an ipod arm band (including headphones), a sticker (it mightve actually been meant to be a TATTOO?) with my favorite number (11), and on her right shoulder an LOL face sticker, earrings, a chained wristband along her leg wristbands cause i played LOZ twilight princess and i liked the chain on Wofl Links leg, AND............A CHAIN...HARNESS?? oh also changed her eyes to red. cause red eyes were badass.

i almost NEVER drew her harness tho. FUCK CHAINS...

i changed my fursona again tho, to a lil fennec fox named Zenka. i made Raven more of a High school persona kinda of character, and also for vent again. i updated her designs but kept a lot of stuff on her still, i was really attached to a buncha her stuff. got rid of the chains and wrist bands and the stickers. combined her collar and bandana, made a camo printed collar, gave her a KITTY HAT i loved these types of hats back then!!! i collected the hell out of them! i gave her a pink nose, green eyes, and black faded tip tail (i played okami recently ghfdk). oh and i actually learned a bit of anatomy, so she looks more like an actual shepherd dog.

(got a tablet recently. did i mention the ones before were drawn with a mouse? its all tablet drawings from here on out)

i drew these only a few years ago for funsies, but this is a side by side comparison

i started to FINALLY become attached to Raven, but i wasnt feeling her green eyes, and i was starting to love pink. minus the black tipped tail, which i forgot (or maybe i didnt cause this was when i got the albino idea), here is when i officially started the process to permanently changing her design to what it is today. i also noticed i had a nick on my left ear, so its been an official staple of all my fursonas designs ever since.

made her a new anthro form that i ended up NEVER drawing after i made this cause i had no idea how to design clothes. disclaimer, ive NEVER smoked but i thought it was Cool(tm) back then, so id draw my sonas smoking. at least smoking rainbows didnt sound or look so deadly. OH and teh declawed design idea comes from when i started working in the job industry and bc of it i have bouts of joint and muscle pain every now and then, possibly arthritis, who can a afford a doctor and official diagnoses these days. and the effect of declawing animals shares the same symptoms, so i use it as a little hidden tid bit.

fast forward a bit, new ref 2015

i finally came out being a lesbian and its just been good designs since then. LOOK AT HER LIL FLUFF HEAD

new ref in 2017, finally new official name!! took getting some used to. i had a childhood friend who was considered a bad influence/bad seed child, but i enjoyed her company, and loved the name she picked for herself Blank.

besides liking the name, its “””””””symbolic”””””””” as seen in the second pic, a ref sheet i tried making earlier this year

(also ditched the ink stained tail design idea, nvr used it. now its just a silver tipped tail)

and HERE WE ARE NOW!!!!

THE COMEBACK OF THE GRAY CAMO............ anyways thank for hearing me out!!! ilove this girl so much

[devilboyblues]

ah. oops. started work about an hour ago and im already massively behind. i tried using something different to mop? that left reside on the floor and esp noticable on the grout. after mopping several times it still was being very stubborn

so today i come in and decide to scrub it up by hand. i spend about 15 minutes on it, already putting me behind. and theres still more to go and its not working as well as i want

i finish cleaning the bathroom and decide to come back to it later. then the handle popped off the scrubbing bubbles bottle and spilled everywhere. it has bleach in it so i have to be very careful. i decide fuck it and use that to wipe off the floor. but i have to wait until it dries before i can leave because i dont want to get bleach on the carpet

i guess at least that should take care of my goal for today even if it wasnt my plan? but also bleach is a pain in the ass so i gotta be careful

[shitwonho]

get to know you tag

was tagged by @jeonfhan for the get to know you tag a little while ago, thank you for the tag i lowkey love doing these types of things LOL

also sorry for posting so many tag games recently. its just that i’m catching up on all of the ones that i wasnt able to do while i was writing papers and lab reports LOL

rules: answer the questions and tag followers you would like to get to know better

i’m gonna tag @changhyuk @wonhosflower @wonhard @w-ooshine @1leeminhyuk @hyungnu and @monbeb if i tagged you but you don’t want to do it please dont feel pressured to!!! buttt if you do, please tag me in them so i can read your responses bc i’m highkey nosey LMAO alsoalso, if i didn’t tag you but you wanna do it anyway, please feel free to do it and tag me in it as well!!!!

first game

name: jessie nicknames: mommy, jammy, and my boyfriend calls me buttsie (idk why) zodiac sign: pisces height: 160cm orientation: heterosexual (idk tbh though i’m kinda questioning) ethnicity: chinese vietnamese favorite fruit: peaches!! favorite season: fall :) favorite book: uhhh this is tough...... the last book that I read that completely hooked me was all the light we cannot see, so i guess that?? btw really good book, would highly recommend omg favorite flower: cherry blossom favorite scent: jasmine!!! favorite colour: i love pastel pinks, but I also love rich greens and burgundy favorite animal: orcas!!!!! i love them so much, i did one of those symbolic adoption things where you pay $30 to support an orca and in return you get a stuffed animal and certificate omg favorite beverage: jasmine green tea??? milk tea??? idk. average sleep hours: when i have school: 4-5 hours (i know its tragic) when i dont have school: 8-9 hours favorite fictional character: MULAN!!!   number of blankets you sleep with: one dream trip: either a tour of seoul and tokyo with my besties or like renting a cottage out with my boyfriend blog created: january 2016 is when i made this blog and abandoned my last blog that i ran for 5 years LMAO

hogwarts house: the sorting hat said gryffindor but idk if thats truly an accurate reflection of me LOL

time right now: 11:21 pm

lucky number: 6, or 16

last thing i googled: how to check when you made your tumblr (omfg)

favorite bands/groups: monsta x, vixx, btob, and like ot5 mblaq omfg favorite solo artist: mah boi dean LOL song stuck in my head: cinderella by cnblue last movie watched: beauty and the beast last tv show watched: 13 reasons why on netflix dream job: i used to want to be a musician really badly, but now i hope to be a social worker specifically working in mental health following: 185

posts: 3919 do you get asks regularly: no LOL i hardly get any do you have any other blogs: i have another blog @ouj-i and a dead mblaq blog @blaqeu but i abandoned them to focus here what i post about: monsta x and personal text posts?? why did you chose your url: because every time i see wonho, i think “shit, wonho” LMAO and also bc its close to his last name shin.  when did my blog reach it’s peak: probably back when i made the momsta x meme?? or when I posted that beginners guide to mx? idk, i still gain followers consistently so you could say i’m still going up LOL

second game

rules: bold the statements that apply to you!

appearance:

i am 5′7″ or taller i wear glasses (but only when i’m in class and can’t see shit) i have at least one piercing i have blonde hair (does bleached blonde at the bottom count?) i have brown eyes i have short hair my abs are at least somewhat defined i have or have had  braces there is something i would change about the way i look

personality:

my hogwarts house is: gryffindor hufflepuff ravenclaw slytherin i am an introvert i like meeting new people people tell me that i’m funny helping others with their problems is a big priority for me i enjoy physical challenges i enjoy mental challenges i’m playfully rude with people i know well i started saying  something ironically and now i can’t stop saying it there  is something i would change about my personality

ability:

i can sing well i  can play an instrument i can do over 30 pushups without stopping i’m a fast runner i can draw well i have a good memory     i’m  good at doing math in my head i can hold my breath underwater for over a minute i have beaten at  least 2 people in arm wrestling i know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch i know how to throw a proper punch

hobbies:

i enjoy playing sports i’m  on a sports team at my school or somewhere else i’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else i have learned a new song in the past week i work out at least once a week i’ve gone for runs at least once a week i have drawn something in the past month i enjoy writing fandoms are my #1 passion i do or have done martial arts

experiences:

i have had my first kiss i have had alcohol i have scored the winning goal in a sports game i have watched an entire season of a tv show in one sitting i have been at an overnight event i have been in a  taxi i  have been in the hospital or er in the past year i have beaten a video game in one day i have visited another country i have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

relationship:

i’m in a relationship i have a celebrity crush i have a crush on someone i know i have been in at least 3 relationships i have never been in a relationship i have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them i get crushes easily i have had a crush on someone for over a year i have been in a relationship for at least a year i  have had feelings for a friend

my life:

i have at least one person i consider a “best friend” i live close to my school my parents are still together i have at least one sibling i live in the united states there is snow right now where i live i have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month i have a smartphone i have at least 15 cds i share my room with someone

random shit:

i have breakdanced i  know a person named jamie i  have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce i have dyed my hair (purple!)

i’m listening to one song on repeat right now  (ye boi gotta stream beautiful LMAO) i have punched someone in the past week i know someone who has gone to jail i have broken a bone i have eaten a waffle today i know what i want to do with my life i speak at least 2 languages fluently (i can speak semi decent cantonese LMAO) i have made a new friend in the past year

[ilygsd]

ok so the question is if im gonna open nyself up to him and tell him i had like 25262 anxiety attacks these 2 last days or if i should just ignore it and pretend that im super cool and all is fine and what r u talking abt??? i wasnt freaked out at all? i was just chilling all day lmaooo

he will see through me wont he..... but if i dont tell him then maybe he thinks im getting better at u know holding stuff in i mean HE DOESNT CARE ANYWAYS IM OBVIOUSLY DOING IT FOR HIM

i am the list pathetic human being in this world. anyone wants to know for how long ive known this guy? HAHAHAHAHA BITCH IVE GROWN EMOTIOKALLY DEPENDANT ON GUYS I HAVENT EVEN MET that was wilde and i would rather not talk abt that fuck brain stfu sont bring up him

anYwAySs i feel better cus he replied

im just gonna pray i wont get emo and anxious when i get to him

i hate that he thinks everything i do is manipulative. he says he doesnt think i do it on purpose...... does that mean i actually AM manipulative? NO ITS JUST HOW IM FEELING I CANT STAND BEING AVABDONED AND OFC ILL DO ANYTHING I CAN ILL BEG ON MY KNEES OR SET THEM ON FIRE IF I HAVE TO i-is t-that..... m-m-manipulat-tive....

god i cant believe he basically said he cant be with me unless i learn to love myself BUTTT it has to be ”on my conditions” do that means i cant love myself to make him stay it means i’ll have to ACTUALLY try and love myself LMAOOO

and ghat will absolutely not happen and this ugly masternind will see through my lies (hes a bit too paranoid tho like he thinks im lying even when i tell the truth ugh) even if i pretend to love myself i mean i cant have these vreakdowns if i love myself right and i will most certainly have these breakdowns and then i absolutely CAN NOT LET HIM KNOWWW BUT I HAVE ZERO IMPULSE CONTROL SO HE WILL KNOW ABYWAYS

oh god he will leave me anyways

but you know what..... thats cool bc we’re gonna stop dating soon anyways

im obviously too unstable he thinks im too immature

also him and his weird ass goals, he even told me he wants to bleach his teeth bc ”im gonna be a poltician, all piliricsn has white shiny teeth” his teeth are already white?? wth

i hate when he does that it creeps the fuck out of me like when he showed up in a nice suit and im like oooh nice feeling fancy today ;)))) and hes like ”no im just making myself comfortable if im gonna be a serious and respect politicsn/psychologist i have to dress like one”

when he threatened to murder me TWICEEEE but then goes like ”i wouldnt actually murder you, that would ruin my future career” OH THANKS SO MUCH YOU EDGY BITCH

so yeah sooner or later he will dump me. also his expectations of sex...... also he literally dont seem to bond at all wheb having sex its like in and out and then maybe some cuddle if he’ nice

ok in exaggerating sex is actually nice with him at least last time but maybe im just thinkin that visnum attracted to him. its like the other way around for us. i told him LOVE is whats behind my sex. i said ofc sexual attraction too but i could probably find some ugly dude attractive if i LOVED them. not gj my ex though ghats sad bc i certainly do love them.... ugh anyways he was low key offended he was like ”if u think in ugly but just love me i’ll cut you” I WAS IFFENDED LIKE EXCUSE ME YOURE THE ONE WHO SEES OUR RELATIONSHIP AS A FUCKING WHORE CONTRACT and hes likes ”yeah”

and thats where i lost my shit :———)

BUT ITS COOL I NEED TO VE ALONE ABD IBDEPENDANT ANYWAYS JUST DONT GO BACK TO YOUR EX THAT WOULD BE SO SHOTTY OF ME I NEED TO SUFFER ALONE ABD GET THINGS DONE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ALSO NEED TO PRACTICE ABD HES SO GOOD AT PRACTICING REALTIONSHUPS IWTH BC HE DOEST CARE OR GET HURT LMAO only angry and i guess thats his way of ”getting hurt” ugh

i dont need him. hes still a dumb fkn centrist, making racist jokes right in front of my face sometimes he REALLY MADE AN ADOPTION-NO-ONE-LOVED-YOU JOKE IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE WHEN I OPENED UP AVOUT MY ADOPTION THE VERY ISSUE AND REASON I AM LIKE THIS

i actually cant believe he did ghat, i didnt even realise he did until he apologized and made sure ”it was just a stupid joke” and even then i didnt register it. idk he’s dumb as shit its so fkn weird how much i let him hurt my feelings bc if it was someone else i’d fuxk them in the asshole but im just here letting him fuck me over bc i blame it on is aspd bug actually its just an excuse bc..... bc...... bc..... i dont want him to leave OH FUCK IT REALLY IS LIKE THAT RIGHT I REALLY AL STUCK ON HIM GREAT

whatever you do dont fkn devalue him. omg omg u dont eant it to end like with your ex bff who made u depressed and suicidal and now u will live the rest of your life in INTENSE SHAMEEEE bc of how u treated her and reacted to her leaving you DONT ACT LIKE THAT WHEN HE LEAVES YOU DINT

i probably wont. i wouldnt dare to. i thought i could manipulate my ex bff by scaring and threatening her but i couldnt abd i KNOW i wont ve able to with him. i’ll probably just fall into self-hatered self pity and despair abd maybe secretely stalk his social media but i wouldnt dare to do anything

ugagahIbwlsbslsksvdjsnsksbs my bRaINnNn

[pbandjesse]

I am tired. I dont know why I have barely been able to sleep this week but it is really making it hard to function. Like I am dreading having to wake up tomorrow and go to work. Sucks. 

Today was a lot. It wasnt like as bad as yesterday. But I was just really tired. At least I didnt sleep through my alarm and didnt have all that stress on top of the tired. James was feeling off today too. He stayed in bed and I got ready to head to work. 

The car was all frosty and we still dont have an ice scraper. We had one last year. No idea how we lost it. So I had to sit in the car while it warmed up. Let me just find some music to wake myself up. 

Some of my kids that have been gone were back today. So that was nice. But one of my kids was a bit of a monster and hit one of them in the face with a pool noodle so hard he got a bloody nose. And that was a whole thing. I got him cleaned up and went to find some ice but no luck so I wrapped a popsicle in a paper towel and just didnt tell him. And like 20 minutes later he was eating it and we all had a laugh over it. 

I finished some stuff but I was frustrated because my story quilt is going very poorly. I think I have a way to fix it but I tried two differnt things today that went so bad that I was just really upset. I will need to sit down and figure it out this weekend. But I was pretty unhappy with myself. 

But I got my bear earrings up and people were really excited about them!! One pair sold within a half hour and I have another pair on hold. Pretty exciting. I had 4 orders in total today and people told me they were even putting my notifications on so they know when I post and that felt really exciting. People like me! Pretty awesome. 

I had a lot of kids today though and so it got a little loud around lunch. So I took half of them outside so the ones in class could focus. It was nice to be out there. We skateboarded and rode down the hill. I need to bring a wrench to fix the long board as its still to loose. But I am getting better at controlling both boards and I can almost skate on two wheels which is exciting. 

I was glad for the day to be over. I was really tired. Its been really hard being so tired. And I knew James was going to be there when I got home and I was looking forward to that. 

I made it home easy. Only drama was one truck who was being an ass. But I got home and was exhausted. 

James cuddled me on the couch for a little but then ran out to the store. I did some cleaning and packed an order. I had a snack and played animal crossing. I went back to cleaning when I went in our box of cleaning products, a  bottle of bleach cleaner broke and I got bleachy cleaner all over my hands and I have washed them so many times and I still cant get it off!! I am going to take a shower and hopefully that helps. 

But James came home and made me a salad. I shared it with sweetP. And then we played Among Us with friends for an hour. James is still playing. But it was a lot of fun! I was the imposter once and only killed Evan. I dont like being the imposter. But it was fun to do it once. I just like doing my little tasks. 

But I got off and James is still playing. I packed up two more orders. And now I am laying in the studio with sweetP. I am pretty ready to get a shower and go to bed. I really hope I can sleep well tonight. I hope you all sleep good too. 

Have a good day tomorrow! Be safe!