#autism is not something to be cured

[just-something-4-me]

Is It Just Me?

Am I fighting alone? Or is there someone going through this too? Honestly, I don’t want anyone else to go through this. It’s isolating and lonely and sad. Even if there are days when all is right in the world and nothing could take that away from me.

What is this bitch talking about?

I’ll tell you: I’m talking about living life as a woman with depression, anxiety and ADHD who is married to an autistic man and has two autistic kids. Sometimes I feel like we’re all speaking a different language and none of us can communicate what we’re feeling to the others.

Sometimes I just need a minute alone to poop and my husband will come open the door and ask, “how’s it going?” I’m pooping, how do you think it’s going?

Sometimes I need my husband to take his fifteen minute break and play with the kids so I can have some quiet and he’ll text me the whole time asking if I’m coming to relieve him so he can go back to work.

Sometimes my husband tells me what he needs and I completely misread it because I’m looking at context clues and body language and he’s being so. fucking. literal.

Sometimes my oldest is stimming in a destructive way and I have to gently and cautiously guide him into a stim that isn’t going to hurt him or his little brother.

Sometimes I try to be as literal as I can possibly be, and my husband takes the thing I say and still asks me to be more specific next time because he didn’t think I meant what I said.

Sometimes I just want things to be less chaotic. My mental health is at al all time low, and I feel like everyday I’m a piss-poor excuse for a mom and a wife. But I also don’t feel like I’m doing anything *for me* to give my own needs some attention.

Can anyone relate?

Me time is so rare. I get a few hours once or twice a week. I crave it, and feel guilty for taking it all at the same time. I know that I need to care for my own needs first so that I can better care for the needs of my family, but I also don’t want to neglect my family to care for my own needs.

See how vicious that cycle is?

Something related:

Recently on Reddit, I told someone that they didn’t owe anyone anything. They are a struggling adult female in a relationship who is finding self care tasks impossible. Her partner told her, harshly, that she needed a shower and she asks if she is the asshole. I tell her that she is NTA and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything. She should take baby steps towards self care tasks and celebrate each step as a milestone until she is better able to care for herself.

The other Reddit folks thought if she was in a relationship she owed it to her partner to shower because “it’s not fair” to him to have to deal with that. In my opinion, the OP is not in the wrong. She needs to shower, of course. But not because she owes her partner. She needs to shower because she owes it to herself.

I mention the Reddit post because so often I feel like that OP: I don’t have the energy to shower or brush my teeth or change my clothes. I just want to lie in bed and wallow because that’s easier. But I’m not in a mental state where I can’t find the energy for that stuff. If I was, I would hope that no one would tell me that I owed my husband the kindness of showering.

Idk. I guess I just want to feel validated on some level and know that I’m not a shit person because I need alone time occasionally and sometimes don’t want to be around my kids or my husband. I love my family with all of my heart. I love each day that I get with them. Nothing in the world would change that.

But every now and again I need time to be alone and not have someone climbing all over me, calling my name every 5 seconds, crying because their brother touched something they were playing with, or because the kids dropped something and the floor is now a mess.

Tell me, tumblr, am I alone? Or is there anyone else out there feeling like shit for needing “me time” and not knowing what to do about it.

[greghatecrimes]

Amber looking cunty as always. and Thirteen in the middle there... hello autism

[coldflasher]

was rewatching the pilot again yesterday for fic reasons and thinking again about the sherlock-style screen annotations they had when barry was doing CSI work that they literally only did in the first ep and then never revisited again, presumably because they realized it'd be far too much effort to work out the details on such a precise level

and thinking about like. that barry allen with the hyper-precise exact measurements that he did by eye (with joe shaking his head in awe so you know that he's a CSI supergenius) vs. the leonard snart who timed his heists to the exact nanosecond (which again, presuming they ditched because it's a logistical nightmare to write dialogue that nitpicky and obsessive, and would be such a fucking pain to do on a week-to-week basis). like. yet another reason they are soulmates tbh. is audhd4autistic a thing the same way t4t is a thing? if it isn't then i'm making it a thing

[jekyll-hatepage]

"I want them a little autistic 🥺" shut up. Please shut up. You've only seen the glorified traits on social media and as soon as an autistic person goes into sensory overload or has an unorthodox interest or gets upset when a routine changes or literally acts as anything other than the "precious smol bean" that you've fabricated in your head, you'll get turned off immediately. That's not on the autistic person, that's on you for cherry picking what traits you want in a partner with no regard for how people are actually affected by autism. Stop being weird about autism and at least TRY to educate yourself.

[00127am]

i have never been more attracted to mark lee in my entire existence.

[metalcatholic]

[punkccorpse]

I checked the autism tag for the first time in over a week just to see what's new and one of the first posts was about some kind of pseudoscience claiming a "cure" for autism is a drug that's used to treat African sleeping sickness and river blindness and its so perplexing?

Like, that's just completely raw ableism! I reported the post but I'll bet that it stays up anyway.

[mythicalcoolkid]

After too many years here I've final what hornets' nests I am not brave enough to kick

[smile-files]

someone just did a presentation about curing autism in my neuro class. i will explode in 15 seconds

[autisticlee]

sometimes I think about how I was legitimately the most hated and bullied kid in my entire class, and probably entire school. I knew this as a fact. there was nothing I could do about it. not just by the kids either, but the teachers/staff as well. all because I was autistic and unable to speak and they didn't want to treat me decently. and I ask why. (rhetorically of course, because I know all the excuses given as answers)

being an autistic kid and knowing damn well this is true, that you're the most hated person in the entire building with not a single person on your side, knowing you're the main target for everyone's aggression every day, is....truly something. you know. like carrying the weight of everyone's hatred and negativity on your back alone, being their punching bag, internalizing their hatred for then. from ages 4 to 18. nonstop. never getting better. never knowing why. not being able to stop it. never getting any help. on your own and alone. blamed for it all.

yet i'm simply told to "get over it/stop caring" and get blamed for it fucking me up and having a lasting effect. lmao ok. let me just forget more than half my life existed at this point and magically get better! thanks!

[mostlyonthefloor]

There are many downsides to being autistic (see: The Problems) but one decided upside is that every single one of those problems can be fixed temporarily with a bowl of cornflakes

[simcardiac-arrested]

i was scrolling through my gallery to post another funny picture but instead i saw an image of another fav character who i’m autistic about. i don’t even know what to say this is devastating

[william-austin]

HAPPY APRIL I'M AT THE AIRPORT AND I HAVENT SEEN A SINGLE AUTISM SPEAKS ADVERTISEMENT

that's what I call progress

[mrfoox]

Just remembered how after my autistic diagnose every offical person was so careful to approach me about it at first. I know that's probably standard bc not everyone will like those news or know how to handle it but I legit just had doctors go 'hey... So... Are you okay? How do you feel?' and I was like 'haha, nice, so I haven't just been faking/now I know why I'm so different'

[lizardthirty]

listen. you guys need to be careful. you might accidentally get into rpf after doing an edible and watching A Hard Day's Night

[dandy-lad]

.