#b/c they could have just had a convo about it but again they were young

[sallysellsseashellssundays]

Thinking about ‘The Long Game’ and how the Doctor says Adam is Rose’s boyfriend and she immediately says “not anymore”

And just the entirety of her on-off relationship with Mickey

I feel like there’s something to be said too about how it’s implied Jackie is always with a new man...but she always loved Pete

Idk where I’m going with this exactly but I feel like dating for Rose must have been a very casual thing she learned from Jackie, I really never even got the sense that she and Mickey were in a serious relationship (neither one of them treated it that way honestly)

Maybe it’s why it’s so impactful when she talks about how the Doctor isn’t her boyfriend because he’s more important than that

[footballxwrites]

fluffy smut mixed alphabet for sonny ? 👀

A- Attractive, he was head over heels for your beauty, especially your facial features, loving your button nose and just seeing your face never failed to put a smile on his face

B - Body, he of course adored your body but when you put on your tightest high rise jeans that perfectly hugged your curves and bum, he’d practically be drooling over you and you’d tell him to “stop catching flies” before he’d be unable to resist giving it a little smack

C - Cuddles, mornings in bed together were your favourite thing seeing as you were both early birds, yous could spend hours just enjoying each other’s company wrapped in one another’s arms

D - Dates, your weekly date nights were never missed and you loved to take it in turns to choose it, where you were going, what you were doing, what you were wearing etc...

E - Experience, he was more than experienced in bed, much more than you, and knew what he wanted and how to make you feel good

F - Family, both of your families loved your relationship and were constantly hinting at making it official with a wedding and all, which you were planning on soon...

G - Gentle, yous weren’t the “rough sex” type and enjoyed taking it slow and steady but then again sometimes things did get a bit passionate in within the bed 👀

H - Horny, the two of you were able to control yourselves, like out in public and all, but it was a struggle at times seeing as he could be turned on within the minute and would have no hesitation of rushing home if he was in need of you 🔥

I - Intimacy, you were so intimate with one another, not so much in public as yous did prefer the privacy, however that didn’t mean he would shy away from the cameras if you were caught kissing the life out of each other

J - Jealousy, wasn’t really the jealous type to be fair knowing you’d always be loyal to him and all, but by god when he saw something whip their arms around you or try anything on when yous were having a night out or whatever, the jealous side of him could show

K - Kind, it was the little unexpected gestures he made that did it for you, the flowers and chocolates and even simple as running you a warm bath for when you came in from work was what you were most thankful for

L - Love, it really was love at first sight with the two of you seeing as he said it on your third date and never regretted it, it just felt right and natural and it was like in that moment yous knew yous were meant to be

M - Moments, yous spent the time yous had together wisely and never let it go to waste, because of your busy schedules yous were on the go constantly so it was nice to just take a minute to act as a couple, whether that meant days out or simply snuggling up on the sofa with a bucket of popcorn and a movie you didn’t mind

N - Nude, as much as he loved seeing you all dressed up fancy and in your best gear, nothing could compare to seeing you nakey and that meant it was almost impossible not to put his hands somewhere on you, he did love to hold your boobs to “warm his hands” as he’d always say

O - Obsessions, he had a thing for running a hand through your hair when yous were cuddled up together, loving the soft feeling of it and the way it helped you drift off to sleep on a night

P - Positions, yous were quite basic with the different ways in he bedroom, he had a thing for doggy seeing as he got the perfect view of you from behind 👀

Q - Quickie, I mean when you need to you need to and therefore you weren’t going to say no to a quick one, which you didn’t entirely like however the risk you did 🔥

R - Relationship, people say there was no such thing as the perfect couple and yes you had your arguments here and there, but yous were madly in love with each other and it was noticed by everyone around, getting the best of compliments from your friends jealous of your relationship

S - Sad, you were especially in your feelings around that time of the month and of course that meant you crying your eyes out on the daily but he’d always be there to comfort you, with hugs and kisses...and all the ice cream you could eat 😏

T - Talk, neither of you had those deep convos of a thing however you would often have the most random chats about everything and see what gossips going around, which would always lift your mood and put a smile on your face

U - Unconditional, his love was never ending and he reminded you of that at every given moment usually with one of his famous sloppy kisses you “hated” ❤️

V - Vocal, wow yous were definitely vocal in the bedroom, not afraid to hold back your moans or screaming each other’s name...put it this way, you feel sorry for your neighbours

W - Worthwhile, the endgame was always to be married and start a family together, however yous had all the time in the world with being young and free and agreed yous wanted to wait until a later age to properly settle down, him promising it’d all be worth it

X - XO (that was a struggle), kisses and cuddles were his speciality, he was obsessed with how plump and soft your lips were and how smooth they felt along his jawline and neck, leaving a long trial of kisses on his skin

Y - Yours, he never lets you forget who’s you are, using it to his advantage in the bedroom telling you to scream his name to prove just how much he means to you, which always left an evident smirk along his mouth

Z - Zzz, he was the big spoon, there was no debating that, his body was just perfect to wrap around you and hold you close to his chest, linking your legs around his waist ❤️

[thebooki3h]

Lukadamianette Au Part 2

First Here Next

We begin where we left off, with Luka and Marinette on one of the dates Luka Planned. Just because it makes sense in this, Luka and Mari arrive a week early

Because Mari is emancipated and excused herself for the first week of school before the trip during which the class is still in France bc they just ended summer and all that jazz. also I have decided that the trip has turned into a half semester exchange program even though this doesn’t make the most sense, but the French school thought the class could use a reward and tbh they just wanted to get the Akuma class out for awhile. Also this way they aren’t in Gotham for a whole semester of senior year. The trip is planned for the first half of the first semester of senior year. I know that this doesn't make a whole lot of sense but just stick with me.

They go sight seeing and basically on a week long date bc the following week begins the Wayne sponsored exchange program and when Luka has to work for Jagged. One day they go to museums, the next the go to famous parks around Gotham (which are thriving thanks to Poison Ivy), the next they see all of the famous villain spots (which are surprisingly popular tourist destinations bc for the most part they don’t get hit twice in short periods of time) which is a good cover for studying past bat battles. They take days in between to rest and use the inspiration they gained to make new songs or clothing designs. 

They share hotel room bc Mari’s parents stopped being her parents a long time ago and lost their say and bc Jagged says they are grown up enough to be responsible for their actions (which brings a blush to their cheeks every time bc “daaaaaddddd” “uncle jaggeeedddd”)

Mari also makes it her mission to visit all of the non chain coffee shops at least once while they are there bc coffee became her best friend when she was active as ladybug. She meets Tim in almost everyone because Tim also drinks coffee obsessively. Luka is more of a tea drinker because coffee interrupts his musical thought process and tea is less harsh. Marinette drinks tea when she wants to relax but coffee is the fuel of the gods. She expresses this to Tim and that's how they become acquainted bc finally someone understands his love for coffee. They exchange numbers after they run into each other for a fourth time. (Luka silently thinks that he might have to talk to Mari about her obsession of coffee again and if there is a rehab center for coffee drinkers) Tim learns that Mari is from the exchange class very quickly based off of Luka’s French accent as well as her light French accent that is mixed with a couple things he can’t quite place.

The class arrives, Lila ofc tried to pull something to leave Mari behind and she thought she was successful so she was gloating. She ofc took credit for the whole trip claiming that she was super close to the Waynes and that she helped Damian acclimate to his new school (she actually knows that Damian didn’t start living with his father until 10 bc why not). Mrs Bustier tries to check in under both her name and Lila’s name, both of which don’t work because they are A) an hour and a half early and B) all of the reservations are under the contest winners name (they have to ok their chaperones to use their name) C)Mrs Bustier told Mari to make all of the reservations under Mari’s name anyway and she totally forgot that. 

So the sit in the lobby for an hour, Lila has the whole class riled up bc Marinette isn't there and it is al her fault that they can’t get in to their rooms. Marinette shows up with Luka 15 mins before the class was supposed to show up (they had just gotten lunch at a cafe that jagged had recommended) and she is laughing and happy, which causes the class to BLOW UP in her face. She ignores them and checks everyone into their rooms. Kagami and Chloe share a suite bc they are rich in their own right and upgraded their shared room bc they are dating and signed up to be roommates. They got this okayed by Buister in writing JIC. Marinette as the contest winner also got a suite (the room she had been staying in with Luka that she just extended the booking for)

Lila and Alya obviously make a big fuss about them getting special treatment but bustier can’t do anything because Mari won’t let her. She secretly thinks Mari is a lost cause now but she tries her best to get her to see that she has to be a role model. Mari actually planned the whole trip and she did a fucking fantastic job bc its Mari and planning something is what she is great at. She has all of the bases covered including iternerary, bookings for food, emergency contact info, health info, info on Gotham, safety procedures and the whole shebang. All of which had to be approved by  Bustier and that Bustier has copies of but totally ignored.

The next day they try to pull the let’s leave an hour early to leave behind Marinette stunt. Not only does that fail because the tour can’t start until the contest winner is there, but they arrived before Wayne tower was even open to the public. Because jagged is extra he shipped Luka and Marinette motorcycles to Gotham bc they were going to be there for a couple months, they also got special permission from Wayne enterprises to park their bikes in the employee parking structures from Tim once he heard that they rode bikes as expensive as Jason’s. So she left early from the hotel with Luka(bc she knew that Bustier would leave her behind somehow) to go meet up with Tim at a new coffee place (one of his favorites). They end up riding on their respective bikes to WE together so they can hang out before the tour. Luka goes to a recording studio to meet up with Jagged, but not before a very passionate kiss goodbye, which makes Tim blush. (Tim may not seem like the biker type but he is a bat and he lives with Jason so he not only knows how to ride a motorcycle well has one, so it may not be his favorite mode of transportation but he’ll live)

So he and Marinette walk to WE about a half an hour before the class is supposed to be there in the middle of a debate on how best to brew coffee (Mari insists its French press) and low and behold they are there yelling at the receptionist. Mari gives Tim a look that says I’m so sorry you have to see this and yes I was not exaggerating walks up to the receptionist and apologizes for what she is about to do (not for the classes actions bc fuck them they can apologize for themselves she has learned to not take responsibility for others actions and she won’t let all that work go to waste). She then proceeds to yell, much louder than someone of her stature presumably should “SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I STG I WILL BREAK JOKER OUT OF ARKHAM AND LOCK HIM IN A ROOM WITH ALL OF YOU WITHOUT FLINCHING” this is shocking to everyone, especially mrs bustier who is  scandalized  that her role model student would do something like this.

Tim had a feeling that something video worthy would happen so as soon as she walked away he started recording, and he was NOT disappointed. The video gos straight to the batfam gc and Luka immediately. He powered off his phone then he proceeds to start laughing and applauding. Upon seeing the CEO’s reaction the rest of the employees start applauding as well bc damn those kids were rude. Tim then walks up to Mari talking at a speed no one but Mari, Chloe and Kagami could understand (bc the class is not fluent in English no matter what they would tell you). Mari proceeds to blush once he informs her that he sent a video to Luka (he does not tell her about the batfam gc)

Chloe and Kagami are immediate intrigued bc this is NOT what they picture when Mari said she met someone who loves coffee as much as she does. they may be hella gay for each other but damn that man is ripped. They join the convo while the class remains befuddled bc who knew Mari even swore. in the back of his mind Nino is reminded of a young blue-eyed girl who lost playground privileges for a week bc someone made fun of his glasses and proceed to punch said someone in the nose. But he shakes it of because Mari hasn’t been like that in years. 

Bustier eventually collects herself and gently, so as not to cause an Akuma (apparently she didn't get the memo), reminds Mari that they are here for a tour and she needs to get the class their passes.  So Mari leaves her friends to get acquainted and goes up to the receptionist, to whom she apologizes for her actions again, and the receptionist replies with a laugh and a “honey, you just made my week, there's no need to apologize I should be thanking you” (she does thank Mari). Mari gets a special pass bc she’s the contest winner to which Lila and Alya (then the rest of the class for the most part) proceed to throw a hissy fit over. The receptionist is so over them though and doesn’t even blink. 

Then their tour guide shows up. (its Dick and his assistant Damian). Damian proceeds to scold the class for a solid ten mins (which coincidentally leads up to their scheduled time to start the tour). Dick slides off to talk to the receptionist and his brother who isn't working and is talking to real people for once. Just for that they are his favorite out of the class. Tim unfortunately has to go to work so they talk to Dick to get acquainted until the tour has to officially start. 

Los tres amigos are the only ones who pay attention to Dick at all (he leads the tour bc he’s been there the longest but Damian throws in a comment here or there mostly related to shenanigans his family has gotten into but overall useful facts. for example these windows are reinforced because our CEO (Tim) leaned up against one, fell asleep and fell through the window to the office below.)

The rest of the class is focused on Lila who is talking a whole bunch of nonsense about the Wayne family and how she has helped them with their business. Some things actually sound kinda legit, but Mari and Co. know that it is BS. Dick tries to bet bustier involved but she makes an excuse for Lila and goes on her phone and doesn’t really pay attention. 

Eventually the class tour turns into Dick talking to Mari, Chloe and Kagami while the class vaguely follows them. Damian doesn’t really say anything because he generally doesn’t do well talking to strangers and these girls seem ok and he is still insecure (not that he would ever admit it to anyone ) about social interaction now that he has figured out how people who weren’t raised as assassins act. That is until Dick starts talking about shenanigans that his brothers get into, and Damian jumps in correcting him because  I did not try to tackle Todd, Grayson I did tackle Todd quite successful and also Alfred won’t let you into the kitchen anymore because you almost burned down the east wing of the manor not  because he is territorial over the kitchen. And Mari hadn’t really paid attention to Damian until now but OH MY KAWAMI he is hot, and how did she talk so long to notice that. 

She ends up taking a pic of Damian without him noticing (he really doesn’t notice which is a feat in itself but Dick does and he will  be teasing Damian about it later bc obviously) and she texts it to Luka bc if she is going to freak out over his hotness she wants Luka to do so too. ( he sees the pic in the middle of recording and he ends up needing a water break bc gay panic and he really is extremely handsome. Recording gets delayed even longer bc jagged cannot pass up the opportunity to tease him son and he does so mercilessly and Mari totally knew what she was doing when she sent that picture) Luka ends up demanding that she gets Damians number or he will because that man is fine.  

Mari now knows that the stuttering idolization that she had with Adrien wasn’t really healthy and Luka likes to remind her all the time that she can be smooth when she wants to be (sometimes unintentionally but she practices on Luka because she loves to see him blush). Mari then makes it her mission to compliment Damian as much as possible so that it is crystal clear and very obvious that she is flirting with him. If he even shows a little discomfort in a negative I don’t like this kind of way she will stop because she will not make someone go through what she went through with Chat Noir and unwanted advances.

Chloe, Kagami and Dick immediately notice that she is flirting with Damian. Chloe takes a video for Luka bc she knows that he would want to see this and Dick takes a video for the Batfam gc. 

Just to be clear Mari and Luka have talked about seeing other people and maybe adding a third person to their relationship as long as they talk about it. that line of communication was opened when Mari sent a pic of Damian to Luka and when Luka asked for his number that was his “go ahead” for her to flirt with Damian. Lila doesn’t understand how that works and neither do the rest of the class so that is a point of contention between the class and Mari. She would NEVER cheat on Luka, she loves him and he is the most important person to her in the world. Something that Juleka understands (she just doesn’t like Mari bc of Lila she knows how polyamory works this is why her and Luka aren't as close as they used to be)

Moving on... the batfam gc blows up for a second time that day and so when the class goes to the cafeteria Tim just has to see this for himself. Mari tries not to be obnoxious in her flirting so she compliments Damians intelligence by asking him questions that weren't included in the tour, and she asks him about his interests and is like that must have taken a lot of time to perfect you must be very dedicated. Damian isn’t used to genuine compliments especially from strangers so he is very flustered by it but he makes no indication for her to stop. 

The day winds down and the class has some free time before they have to go to dinner but the do have to leave the tower. Mari does actually get Damians number (he thinks she must be very well trained to get his number that quick bc he refuses to accept that he gave it to her because he likes her) Mari promises to ft him later bc he promised to let her meet his dog and she doesn’t want to wait until the class has dinner at the manor to see Titus.

First Here Next

Taglist

@dood-space

@toodaloo-kangaroo

Also I’m not very sure about how to go back and edit posts to link new parts so if anyone knows how to do that please comment or message me because I would love to learn!

[somestansomewhere]

Frank’s Dementia in 11a

Points to discuss:

Moments where Frank forgot.

Things he might be able to remember.

Other characters finding out.

Aftermath...

So to start of, I made a list of every instance in SEASON ELEVEN A, where Frank’s memory seemed a bit off, I’m not gonna analyze the whole series for this but I’m sure there’s more there. Now:

Moments Where Frank Forgot

11x01

1. Frank’s History of Chicago

While this does appear to imply just the opening monologue, there are actually several moments throughout the episode where Frank is talking about the Gallagher’s running Chicago to Alan. And while this seems like typical “Frank being drunk nonsense”, plus a spectacular opening to the season... I now see it in a different light especially after:

2. Frank’s Memory Elixir

Frank LITERALLY has a line asking for “memory elixir”, meaning booze, which Alan hands him. Ironic since he has ALCOHOLIC DEMENTIA. You can’t tell me that wasn’t intentional!

3. He Forgot Bars Were Closed

Now, I may be reaching here... BUT when Frank enters The Alibi for the first time this season (what a grand enterence btw) he says “I heard somewhere all bars were open again”. V responds by saying something along the lines of “three weeks ago maybe” and that the mayor shut them down again. Frank says “Well who the hell can keep track”. And okay, yeah maybe Frank genuinely didn’t know... but this is the bar he goes to EVERYDAY. Not to mention if they shut down less than THREE WEEKS AGO, Frank should know... idk this one might not count but I added it anyway. Kermit is unaware of bars being open/shut down in 11x03 so moving on:

11x02

4. The Alibi’s Secret Enterence

Okay, again REACHING! However, when Frank entered The Alibi through the Keg Zone door he forgot to use the “secret knock” and Kev had to remind him about it. Now in 11x01 he used the front door (and I’m not sure he knew to use the other door in that ep) but still at least he remembered to use the correct door in 11x02.

11x03

This is where it got noticeable.. strap in, here we go:

5. Taking Franny to School

He took her to the wrong school. This is the same person that knows the Southside perhaps better than his kids (lol), like the back of his hand! He not only took her to the wrong school but a middle/grade school. Franny is in elementary/preschool school. You can see in WHM’s face here that Frank was confused...

6. Uncle V and Aunt Kev

Maybe just a comedic slip up, but Frank calls Kev and V “Uncle V and Aunt Kev” as opposed to what they really are. Maybe he forgot? I’m reaching LOL.

7. Debbie Is Not Fiona

Frank talks about one of his favorite MEMORIES with Franny’s mom: Debbie, but “oh no, maybe that was Fiona”. Small moment, typical Frank but... nonetheless, poor memory. The writers are smart by mentioning Fiona in this scene... it’s “a Fiona mention”, we’re going to remember this, and that’s probably why they did it.

8. The Paper Store

Yeah, this was the first red flag for me and if I can recall, the moment EVERYONE knew something seemed off. Frank, walks out of the paper store with Franny and cannot remember where he is, or where they are headed. Once he is reminded of their “goals” for the day (by Franny, a five year old) he proceeds to head to the paper store... Franny once again let’s him know that they already went there and Frank notices the paper already in his (Franny’s) backpack. Ouch.

11x04

9. The Nation of Islam

Ooo this one hurt! After Frank suggests to visit The Nation of Islam in an attempt to get their help to get rid of the Milkoviches, him, Kev, and Liam do. We SEE them go there. It’s a whole scene, so later in the episode when Frank suggests to go ask them for help AGAIN as if it were a completely new idea, we as an audience know they already did that. As Kevin says they “JUST did that”. Frank forgot. Shit.

11x05

10. Mrs.McCurdy

Frank discusses with Kev about murdering Mrs.McCurdy, later he tries to murder her. We see it, we remember it becaue she grabbed Frank’s dick. It was funny, the scene evoked laughter, it forces the audience to remember it. Frank mindlessly walks into The Alibi and Kev asks Frank if he “did the thing”. Now at first Frank is confused. They were using “quotation talk” earlier so yeah I get it, but then when Kevin is more direct with Frank, Frank thinks Kev is implying that he had sex with Mrs.McCurdy... Frank is clearly confused. Only then does Kev point out that he meant MURDER. Frank takes a second, again if you watch he does not know what Kev is talking about, but then it hits him, and he remembers. Thus continuing the convo like nothing.

11x06

11. Monica

Now this one REALLY hurt. Frank’s first scene of the episode is a sex scene between him and Letty. She’s blonde, and Frank calls her Monica. He truly believes he is sleeping with Monica, only Monica is dead, she been since season seven. When Letty mentions that she isn’t Monica (thinking Frank calling her that was only a sex thing), we see WHM’s brilliant preformence once again. Frank doesn’t know what Letty means, he thinks she’s Monica. Then when he realizes she isn’t, he gets this lost dejected look on his face. He’s confused and knows that he keeps getting confused.

Frank says “I gotta get to work”. Letty asks him where he works and Frank is left bewildered.

12. Seven

Okay so remember Frank and Franny’s adventure in 11x03? Frank visits a dry cleaners to get some weed. They make a point of Franny saying that Frank will pay SEVEN for the weed. No offer is made and Frank must get it somewhere else. Throughout the episode Frank refterences SEVEN to Kev & V as the asking price to sell. We as an audience are forced to remember SEVEN. Also in 11x03, as Debbie frantically looks for Frank/Franny, she visits the dry cleaners where they were (retracing their steps). We as an audience have been there twice.

Now, in 11x06 Frank goes to pick up an order but like, we already saw him go there episodes ago. When the woman behind the counter literally tells him she has nothing for him and he argues with her, WE KNOW she is right. Once again, Frank forgot. I’m so sad. Not only that but Kev and V don’t have Frank going on runs anymore. Ian & Mickey are doing it... Frank is legit lost and forgot that he’s not doing that anymore, Kev tells him he’s not in 11x04.

Ms.G even says to Frank that she doesn’t need to write anything down to remember it because the “Mind’s a steel trap”. She doesn’t owe him... she can use her mind to remember where Frank cannot. The irony.

13. Pedestrian, Blue, Handlebar (abc)

a) Frank getting hit in the head results in him having a visit to the hospital where a nurse discovers that Frank has no clue how he got there and more specifically, how he got hit in the first place.

b) The saddest part, when asked his name he remembers FRANK. But has to look down at her sheet to know his last name is GALLAGHER. This is the man who walks around saying “It’s up to Frank Gallagher to save the neighborhood”. He forgot his last name.

c) The scene goes on, the nurse asks him to remember three words: pedestrian, blue, and handlebar. They discuss other things, then she asks him to tell her those words. It’s so abundantly clear that Frank just cannot. He doesn’t remember. He was told like 30sec ago and gets, for the first time ASHAMED. He’s the most shameless person ever (hence the title of the show) but now the tides have turned. He “doesn’t wanna play this game anymore”. Frank can recognize AGAIN that he is confused, only now he is forced to face it. The nurse noticed, she runs some tests and Frank learns that he has early stages of alcoholic dementia. This isn’t his liver, he can’t get a new one, this is his brain.

14. + 15. Letty & Terry

Just two bonuses, Frank wanders aimlessly into the Alibi again (like in 11x05) because it’s routine for him. Letty calls him over. Frank forgot they were supposed to meet there. :(

Frank and Terry on the porch: Maybe it’s just bad writing or they were trying to make a point but like a “Gallagher-Milkovich War” never happened??? We watched the show for 11 seasons... Also are the Milkoviches actually from Poland Frank? I’ll excuse that one cuz Ian mentioned it too, but I thought they wer Ukrainian. These seem like writing mistakes tho so oops.

Things He Might Be Able To Remember

Frank has his and Franny’s name tattooed on his body... he literally forgot his last name at the hospital. And if he forgets a bunch in 11b then that’ll be the payoff for the tattoo... he might not know why the tattoo is there or who the people are listed on his arm, or even what it means exactly, but he will know that Frank loves Franny.

Where he lives. Frank never threw out the paper with his diagnosis. He might remember his home, however the conflict comes in the fact that the Gallaghers might be selling it. He needs to be around people/places that are familiar to him. This could jeopardize his memory.

The Alibi is where Frank seems to just walk to or go to whenever he has no clue where he is or going but it’s subtle. I could see him getting lost and no one knowing where he is and Frank just being at the Alibi beacuse idk muscle memory? He’s on autopilot.

Early stages of ALCOHOLIC Dementia can improve. Like if maybe Frank were to tell someone and if he wasn’t removed from the Gallagher house, and oh I don’t know if Frank STOPPED DRINKING, he could remember. But I don’t think we’re heading in that direction, especially if the house is sold, and let’s face it... it looks that way.

Fiona? Will he forget her... this all feels reminiscent of 4x11.

Other Characters Finding Out

Franny, Kevin, and Liam, are the only people who have REALLY been subject to the possibility of noticing... but think about it. Franny is too young to notice anything, Kevin is not the brightest bulb, he doesn’t seem to realize it either, and Liam was exposed to it once, but at that time he was so scared about the Milkoviches that he didn’t notice it. Maybe if he saw it again, he would. Liam is smart enough.

I wonder if the Gallaghers will just find out the hard way (,like those stills from 11x08 are making me think,) or if anyone will begin to seriously pick up on it. I intially thought they would show Frank forgetting in front of each character until someone was able to notice but scratch that. They seem to be setting Lip up on the “alcoholic path” this season, (and I may go more into depth about that one another time, it’s another big post if I do get into it). But what will the Gallagher’s reactions/feelings be towards Frank’s diagnosis? Mickey and Ian had many Terry/Frank discussions in 11x06 literally setting up for it. It hurt when they all kept dismissing Frank because yup, they don’t know yet. They would have to help him in order to keep his memory maintained, but that’s the thing... Frank’s pride. He might deny their help even if they actually were to give it to him... Either way, I’m “looking forward” to see how this all unravels and how everyone finds out and what their reactions will be, which brings me to my final topic:

Aftermath...

So what happens? Will they sell the house, potentially causing Frank to forget? Will he not know his kids, his history? Will he die? Will Frank finally stop drinking... yeah I doubt that... So what WILL happen? Will the Gallaghers be left to take care of Frank? Will they even do that? Will he remember them?

What if in 1x01 Frank’s narration IS his memory? We see him talking about his kids to someone? It circles back? I don’t know, but either way I expect this whole thing to pull on our heartstrings. When the rest of the regulars find out... it’s gonna get real, and rough.

Interesting stuff coming up in 11b I’m sure. Let’s see how this plays out for our Protagonist and Patriarch: Frank Gallagher.

Omg, if you read through this, you are so cool and I really really appreciate you! Please send me an ask or write a note, I would love to get your take on the matter. 💙

Hope you enjoyed this analysis and I hope it didn’t go on too long.

[esther-dot]

"We should be happy that Arya understands herself at such a young age. It baffles me that her fans want to insist that no, she actually wants the same stuff Sansa does..." This is what gets me. Arya point blank states in Book 1 what she wants and what she doesn't want. Now their argument is "She is 9, she may change her mind." She might, if she were a real person. But she is a character written by someone else. And if the author specifically says he based the character on the type of women he knew irl, the kind of women who never wanted to marry and have kids, that's a pretty good indication where this character is going. I also find it insulting that they are so gung-ho about this, as if they tie all of Arya's value (especially her value as a woman) her being married with kids at the end. (As someone who, like Arya at a young age, decided to never marry and have kids and in her 30s still stand by that decision, it's extremely amusing -and offensive but oh well- to me that they think Arya needs to end up Gendry/Jon and pop out as many kids as possible for her arc to be meaningful, for her life to be complete. They see it as the final and most valued reward for her suffering, I guess, even if she doesn't want it.) But there is also the fact that unlike them, Arya is aware of what being a mother and a wife means in Westeros. She can't have it all. She can't be a wife, a mother, a Lady and be free, not really. She can't be independent, go on adventures, live her life as she wishes to, associate and befriend the people she'd like to, avoid others she doesn't like. Especially if she is going to be Arya Stark. That'll come with its own responsibilities. She has to make a choice. (And again this is a choice I understand, b/c while it's not as stifling as Westeros, my country and culture is very much traditional, they may let you be a single adult woman *while side-eying your choice* but you can't be a wife and a mother and an independent working woman at the same time. Society, your family and friends will expect you to make a choice, even the laws will force your hand as there are little to none help for working moms but all sorts of incentives for those who uphold "family values".) So even if what they envision for Arya could work for Modern AUs, it doesn't work in Westeros, it's simply unfeasible for canon. I guess I really don't understand that section of Arya stans. Why they are trying to mold her into someone she isn't and doesn't want to be? It's as ridiculous as it would be if we were to insist Sansa will learn sword-fighting, she'll defeat Lannisters/Boltons/Others/Littlefinger/Dny&her dragons on the battlefield, she'll never want to marry or have kids, she would prefer if she spent her life traveling free from societal restrictions instead of settling in canon etc. It's just so weird.

(continuation of this convo)

I don’t have much to add because you said it all! What you’re talking about is almost exactly what Martin mentioned in the quote I referenced:

Q: Was there anyone in your life who might’ve served as an inspiration for Arya? A: I can’t say there’s any one specific model, but a lot of the women I’ve known over the years have had aspects of Arya with them. Especially some of the women I knew when I was a young man back in the ’60s and ’70s, you know — the decade of the sexual revolution and the feminist movement. I knew a lot of young women who weren’t buying into the, “Oh, I have to find a husband and be a housewife.”

That’s certainly part of Arya’s thing. There’s that scene where Ned is telling her, “Well, one day you’ll grow up and you’ll marry a great lord and you’ll be the lady of the castle.” And she says, “No, I won’t. I don’t want that. That’s Sansa, that’s not me.” I knew women who were saying things like that: “I don’t wanna be Mrs. Smith, I wanna be my own person.” (link)

Martin is talking about how society is demanding something of Arya that she has no intention of bending to in contrast to Sansa:

Sansa completely bought into that, loved everything about that. She dreamed of jousts, bards singing of her beauty, fair knights, being the mistress of a castle and perhaps a princess and queen. The whole romantic thing.

And then to have Arya, a girl who did not fit that — and who, from the very beginning, was uncomfortable and chafes at the roles that she was being pushed into.

Of course, Arya is young, will still be young at the end of the books, so in her future, in an epilogue or in our imaginations, it’s easy to assume there will be lovers/partners. In all honesty, I did think that Martin was laying groundwork for something between her and Gendry in the future, but even so, the idea that she would suddenly conform, settle down and be what she so vehemently rejected, it feels like a cruel joke for someone like her. Why would we want her to essentially say, “Oh, I was wrong. Society was right all along. This is what all women should be.” What a gross sentiment. I assume that that is not the exact thought process of her stans who wish her to settle down, but the idea as presented in canon is that being a lady has demands. That role would require Arya to be stifled, folded in on herself, and I would never wish that on her. I can’t reconcile loving Arya and also wanting her to just...give in. That idea makes me incredibly sad. The same kind of sad as Sansa never experiencing romantic love. I want both girls to be emotionally fulfilled and that means entirely different things for each of them imo.

[chainsawcorazon]

im thinking now that the real reason tabata didnt show more of yunos time with the gd was bc it woulda just been microaggression after microaggression & straight up aggression. i know now that the scene of klaus showing yuno his room & being a dick was anime only but that probably was yunos experience for days & that woulda been too frustrating to watch him go thru again and again. its probably why he talked to william all the time, he was the only one he could have a real convo with

That’s a fair assumption to make. Personally, I’m not a big fan of the Golden Dawn because of all the noble fuckery, but because I am also a hypocrite, I do love my little war criminal with the abysmal hairline, one William Vangeance, and I do believe he probably spent lots of time with Yuno because Yuno was a) the reincarnation of Licht’s son, b) hella powerful, and c) a hick, and since William is also formerly a hick, I believe they probably had lots of conversations Langris just didn’t understand and probably didn’t care about because Langris is an inbred noble too busy being jealous that Finral’s bussy is fatter than his.

As for microaggressions... it is sad that we never really get to see the extent of how the other squads operate within themselves like we do the Black Bulls, because to be quite honest, I do actually believe that the microaggressions were probably straight up abuse in squads such as the Purple Orcas (who licherally murdered a man just for coming from a poor background), so like, am I saying Tabata punked out by not illuminating the discrimination? I am, and I agree Anon, Tabata probably glossed over a lot of Yuno’s personal experiences because it was easier to show him off as the cool dude with the megapowers, rather than a sad young gay man working hard to prove himself in a squad full of classist white nobles.

It’s probably one of my biggest issues with Black Clover that Tabata definitely borrows themes from its king predecessor, Berserk, but consistently fails to deliver on them because of... what? I do wonder. I know it aint that damn anime, so it’s either cuz he don’t wanna step on his editors’ toes and take the Kubo route out when it’s time, or he genuinely does not want to dig himself into the “complex manga with deep themes and literary value” hole that would ultimately take time away from cool powerups and force him to address the fact that Clover Kingdom committed a genocide that birthed terrorists and that the ruling class that carried out that genocide is still in power, and oh also, did I mention? Classism, racism, white man Nozel Silva and the Silva tribe’s entire existence, the violent childhood that created war criminal and terrorist abettor William Vangeance, Yami’s staunch loyalty to Julius for looking after him as a child even though Julius is a part of the problem, misogyny, the lack of even background home of sexuals, abuse of those who are disabled/cursed like Henry Legolant, Charmy not knowing her ancestry as a dwarf and stand user, kin punishment, almost-casteism, and so on and so forth!

And to be fair, these problems were obvious in Bleach and Naruto as well, but Bleach got cancelled at the end and couldn’t tie up a single storyline that didn’t make it look like clowntown central, and Naruto is Capitalism personified and hyped on 80 metric tons of coke, so do I think Tabata is aiming for that Shounen Big Three life, or is he willing to take the dive and explore more of the Berserkian side of things???? Only time will tell.

[imbellarosa]

So you think Harry’s and Louis’ album are connected?

I think there is every chance of that! You don’t accidentally reference someone else’s songs (someone you know really well, at that!) multiple times throughout your album (even songs that didn’t end up on the album, at that). Every other piece of analysis under the cut, but this is my tldr haha.

I think that the fact that their albums are both 12 track albums with a sort of “breaking point” or “climax” in the sixth track which says- on both sides- that they feel more vulnerable, that they feel sad, they feel more mature, and that they feel more ready to talk about it is....not a coincidence. Or maybe that one is, but if you add that to all of the other lyrical convos these albums are having. I covered a lot of these lyrical parallels in another ask, so I won’t go through them all again, I’m just going to add some new ones (because ofc there’s more).

An older one, but one worth’s mentioning: Golden (track 1 on Fine Line) says “You're so golden/You're so golden/I'm out of my head/And I know that you're scared/Because hearts get broken” and “Just Like You” (released 2017, right after “Always You” was teased) says “Every heart breaks the same/Every tear leaves a stain/Can I just be the same?”. Like - that’s a conversation that people have ALL THE TIME. One person wants to be normal and doesn’t want to hurt and the other person says “I know you’re afraid but you’re so special”.

And I’m going to use golden one last time, because I think it like. Sets the scene for Fine Line. His super secret verse says something like “...I’m hoping that one day you (he?) could be (will be?) open/And I know that you’re scared because I’m so open” and Fearless says “Tell me the truth, tell me, do you still remember feelin' young/And strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people?”. And L has said he wrote that song about himself, so it’s still two songs asking one person if they can be strong enough to open up.

Then there’s “Adore You”, which says that he’ll “walk through fire for you/Just let me adore you” and Only the Brave says that “[his love is] a church of burnt romances/And I’m too far gone to pray/it’s a solo song/and it’s only for the brave”. I can’t make this up. Like actually. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

And those are just the parallels. After you listen to those, you turn to the narrative of the album. Fine line is split into four sides: “A” “B” “C” and “D”, with Side A being about falling in love for the first time and thinking that could be enough, those butterflies and the fun times and all the love, but it ends with Lights Up that says “all the lights couldn’t put out the dark/running through my heart/lights up and they know who you are/do you know who you are?”. So as it turns out, if you’re not on the same page, love isn’t enough. There has to be communication, and a similar expectation of honesty (to bring it back to golden Im so sorry I love that song).

Side B is the sad side. It’s loss and grief and misery. It’s losing someone you love and then losing someone for real, and then realizing that you’re not as badass as you thought you were and you want to go home, but you also made a mistake (which, To Be So Lonely does a great job of setting “home” up as a person rather than a place, so when he references it again in Canyon Moon, you can think of home as the person he’s talking about). Anyways back to side B. Now, instead of blaming the other person, he can admit that he also made a mistake (or several), and own up to it. Side B ends with “She” which, imo is one of the trippiest songs on the album, and also one of the most complex. I think there are multiple characters involved, and the speaker isn’t like. The main character. But I think, in the end, it’s characteristic of loneliness and grief and loss and a realization. And that realization ends this side.

So Side C starts with all of the work on himself mostly done (I do love that “work” in both of these albums is never over. You work through the bad times, and then you keep working so you don’t get caught in it again.) Side C is the “I’m coming back to us” side. He gets back in touch with the person he loves in Sunflower Vol. 6, ( at the beginning he’s like “I’ve been trying hard not to talk to you”, but by the end, “ Your flowers just died/Plant new seeds in the melody/Let me inside, I wanna get to know you”, they’re getting to know each other again, as the new people they are, after they had to walk away for a bit). This is followed up up by Canyon Moon, in which he’s going home, so they fixed it, apparently. That idea of rekindling is confirmed in “Treat People With Kindness” when he says “ Givin' second chances/I don't need all the answers/Feelin' good in my skin/I just keep on dancin'”. This is SUPER cool, because by this point in the album, he’s matured enough to know that he’s okay with not knowing why about everything. He’s no longer asking his partner to be more open, because he feels good about himself and that’s all he needs, and so if he’s okay, then they’re okay. 

Side D is just Fine Line, the six minute reflection song which ends with “we’ll be alright”. And by that time, I believe it. 

On to Walls! Walls is split into two six track sides, “A” and “B”. This album, in my mind, is less of a cohesive narrative, and more like snapshots of moments, feelings, and conversations, which give you a picture of what he’s been through. I think it’s also a bit more difficult to stack this up because I don’t really know when songs were written. I think “Walls” and “Only the Brave” might have been the last two written, along with “We Made It”? Maybe? But I’m going to try anyways. 

Side A is a younger feel. It touches on how he needs the person he’s singing about ( “I don’t know what I’d do without you now!”). It talks about how they made it, and there won’t be any more hard times, it talks about outside events, and sets that scene. The other person lost someone (outside of the relationship), as is outlined in “Don’t Let it Break Your Heart” and he lost his mom ( “Two of Us”, which makes me cry every time). And around track 5 ( “Too Young”), he’s ready to sit down and have a conversation, and the other person agreed to it, after two years apart. And I think the rest of the album really outlines all of the things he needed the other person to understand.

He admits that he’d had his walls up, and that he realizes what that’s cost him. He tells the other person that he appreciates being given time and space to put himself back together, but he’s ready to go back to them because the other person makes him better, he explains that he did his very best to move on, but he couldn’t, because he carried them everywhere he went, and he says that he’s going to try and be more open ( “Now if happiness is always measured/ By the life you design, that car on the drive /Then you should feel better than ever/But you know as well as I, it's all lies/..../ Just for tonight, look inside and spark that memory of you/Strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people”). 

And then it sort of seems like they’re back together by Perfect Now, but his partner is...a bit insecure about where they stand, and he’s trying to say that he’s in it, that the partner (he didn’t use genders in is songs, so I’m not going to either, sorry if this ends up confusing haha) is beautiful the way they are, that they should embrace it, and if his partner wanted him to, he’d tell the truth (and what a line that is: “You never do/ but if you asked me to/ I’d tell the truth/ lying next to you/ ‘cause you’re the only one/ when it’s said and done”). It always comes back to the idea of openness and telling the truth. 

The last two songs are “Defenseless” and “Only the Brave” which are my favorite two on the album. I think “Defenseless” gives a good snapshot of where the relationship is - they’re together, but it’s hard sometimes, and they still have the same problems sometimes (because things don’t magically go away), but he loves the other person, and the other person loves him, and so he’s going to be vulnerable. And Only the Brave, which talks about how scary it can be, for some people, to be brave, but it’s worth it, for him, because he found the right person ( ( “come on, when you know/ you know”). I think this song has a lot of symbolism and imagery that makes it a very pointed and poignant song, but it also finishes the album in the same way Fine Line does. They’re okay. They’ll be okay. (They being both the artist and the relationship they’re singing about)   I think that the narratives are remarkably similar in events an themes even if they’re told in different styles: Fine Line is more of a complete story, beginning to end, and Walls is more of a conversation. He’s talking to someone directly, rather than about someone. But ultimately, like. These two grew up together. It’s not like I picked out two random albums from people who don’t know each other and was like “these two! same thing!” and if it was, that would be plagiarism. They know each other, and they probably write together sometimes. I know that they have different managements, but they’ve worked with similar writers/directors/producers, right? They run in the same circles? So when two people who have known each other well for a while write albums that end up being lyrically and thematically similar, and they both cover the same story and the same ground, the most obvious conclusion is that they’re connected. 

[elizabeatrice]

Walking Blind + Thoughts on The Little Mermaid Being Episode 12

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #2

Warning: Manga spoilers up until Tanabata Arc (basically that + the entirety of season 1 + the skipped arcs)

I’m gonna talk about how the anime keeps proving my predictions wrong with skipped arcs, and later right, with consequences. Due note that this isn’t me hating the anime (because I love it). Just my funny experience attempting to Sherlock my way through the anime, plus my thoughts on The Little Mermaid being the finale.

No deduction works when it comes to predicting this series.

It all started when episode 5, The Confession Tree, came out. I was looking forward to it ‘cause I’m hananene trash af. Legit thought the entire episode was gonna be about Kodama.

But then the episode preview pics came out and I was like, “Sakura wtf are you doing here you don’t show up again until three chapters later?”

My first prediction was ep 5 would be entirely Kodama, and then ep 6 would be Young Exorcist. Seeing that these arcs serve to build up Nene and Kou wanting to know more about Hanako, I thought it’d be nice that we set aside two episodes just for that.

But then Kodama finished somewhere around the fifteenth minute mark, and we started Young Exorcist Part 1. Which was, you know, fine. But then instead of continuing, they jumped right to the end of the arc when Nene met Sakura for the first time, and then kept going to No. 5′s rumor and revealed Tsukasa early. Next episode’s title preview confirmed it, too. Ep 6 was gonna be 4PM Bookstacks.

Okay. I still had hope. Maybe they just rearranged the order.

On the other hand, the lack of ‘Part 1′ in the title was alarming. And it came true. They packed four chapters into one episode. A lot of things got cut. There wasn’t enough room for the op, and they had to run the credits while the episode was still ongoing. Though, tbh, other than Tsuchi’s line about him being able to change the books (with dire consequences), I didn’t have much problem with the cut scenes.

Then this thing showed up.

Before ep 5 I didn’t think we’d get Donuts until around episode 9-ish. But nope the No. 7s would meet each other in ep 7 (lmao see what I did there?). Again, I was fine with it, but I was a bit upset about Young Exorcist.

Someone said it may be moved to the finale, and I didn’t like that idea. Mostly because Yashiro, our main audience POV, isn’t in the arc. And it just sounds weird having a finale without your main audience POV.

They could put her there, sure, but that would mean adjusting Nene and Teru’s every future interaction. Even without shipping goggles or Nene’s romance-colored glasses, do you think Nene would still act the same towards Teru if she saw him hurt Hanako like that? ‘Cause that was brutal. Like she wouldn’t run and protect him like she did when they met Kou.

They put Kou and Teru’s resolution from Young Exorcist into their convo in episode 7. This kinda makes Teru a bit useless, though. I mean, he still doesn’t do much in the manga but the tension between him and Kou was supposed to set up this badass fight. Since it didn’t happen, and Young Exorcist isn’t gonna be the finale either, then he’s pretty much useless.

Anyway, the thing about Teru being onto The Broadcasting Club?

Not from the manga.

I’m not sure if Manga!Teru is really onto them. As far as I remember, it wasn’t hinted anywhere in the manga. Do correct me if I’m wrong. So what was the point of that change?

I didn’t get pissed until halfway through episode 7 and suddenly Mitsuba was there, but no fishes.

“What is he doing here, where’s that puffer fish, where’s his murder? Hello?”

I was very neutral about Mitsuba from the very beginning but when he showed up where The Little Mermaid (and my fish murder!!!) was supposed to be I kinda began to grow undeserved resentment toward him (I’m cool now though!). Totally, totally undeserved, because it wasn’t his character’s fault.

I was happy because Mitsuba stans got to see him animated (he was cute, and his VA was so good). But putting him in episode 7??? I mean they just left Hanako and Nene’s tension unresolved like that. That makes the episode really choppy in my opinion. They could’ve had the coolest final shot of the season of Tsukasa murdering that fish to scare and excite the anime-onlys. They missed that chance.

We got to episode 8. Pretty solid. Still would’ve preferred if its first bits weren’t in Donuts, but solid.

Preview title basically confirmed they’re skipping The Little Mermaid too. That was when I lost hope in Young Exorcist. But I tried to compromise. If they weren’t animating The Little Mermaid, then they have to put Hanako and Nene’s conversation and pinky promise in The Little Mermaid at the end of ep 9.

Episode 9 turned out to be my favorite. It was all thanks to Natsuhiko. He really cheered me up over our loss of two arcs. And my prediction was right for once. Hanako apologized for ruining the donuts. That’s definitely not the point of their tension (Tsu-ka-sa and trust), but it was still nice and I’d take what I could get. The hug. The hug was very nice.

I was mostly content, excited to see my boi Akane the next week. But then I thought, wait, we only have three episodes left. And we’re definitely reaching Hell of Mirrors, ‘cause No. 3′s silhouette is in the OP. Then the horrifying thought hit me.

They were gonna skip Searching.

But! The freaking post-credit showed up followed by this:

“They skipped Searching AND Clock Keeper??? Why on earth would you highlight Akane, with Teru of all people, in the OP then?! Paralleling Mitsuba and Kou no less!”

Due notice, yet again, the lack of ‘Part 1′ in the title preview. Before the episode actually aired, this was my train of thought: “Okay so they skipped The Clock Keeper and Searching, and decided to outdo episode 6 by packing 6 chapters (yeah, I counted “Reach Out Your Hand”) into one episode. Ahahaha ... what?”

Thankfully, they proved me wrong. Kay. Good. Thanks a bunch for fooling me with that title preview.

But then it freaking hit me. You got one episode left. The finale. Sure, Clock Keeper as a finale will be perfect. It’s a good hook for season 2. However. You can’t do Clock Keeper without doing Searching. It’d basically be almost the same as doing Donuts without doing The Little Mermaid. The finale wouldn’t feel resolved this way, because, again, there’s tension between Hanako and Nene (and Kou too) that isn’t resolved yet.

Not that Searching addressed the cause of the tension, but at least it brought the trio back to their status quo (well, with a bit of kounene and hananene development haha). Also, without Searching, it’ll only end like this:

Clock Keeper itself is 5 chapters. They can cut and modify. Sure. But y’all saw ep 6.

So that’s why I was sure we’re definitely not getting No. 1 this season. To me, that leaves three options for the finale.

A. Delivery + Tanabata Arc

Best pick in my opinion

It’s the direct continuation to Hell of Mirrors

The main trio are all there, especially our audience POV

More glimpses of Amane is always a plus point

The ‘getting hit by a bull, waking up in the past, and seeing your boyfriend before he died’ is just so random I think it’d be a pleasant surprise for the anime-onlys

Just wholesome in general, leaves the audience feeling good

The-ma-tic!!! You begin the series with Nene’s wish and end it with Amane’s isn’t that just asdfghjkl wish wish wish, everything’s about wishes in JSHK

B. Young Exorcist

Classic boss battle finale

Just Teru’s badassery *chef’s kiss*

Hanako getting emotional (something we haven’t really seen before)

Getting deeper into Hanako’s motive (episode 8 would’ve been more impactful had we had Young Exorcist before it, what with his view of disappearing/exorcism for ghosts being salvation)

Kou’s character development

^ counter argument: he already got the character development he went through in Young Exorcist in episode 6 and 7, plus, he and Teru already resolved their disagreements - though, not as impactful as in the manga

Also wholesome, HanaKou is great I love their friendship so much *sobs*

C. The Little Mermaid

@emee-ems​ pointed out here: “it started with the mermaid so they’ll end it with the mermaid” and I agree

Yashiro being persuaded to leave Hanako, while their friendship was what began the whole series? That’s some good conflict right there

Seeing Hanako worried about Yashiro leaving him? Good shit

Also wholesome (extra shipping content never hurts, either)

Hanako willingly opening up to Yashiro for the first time!!! That’s a big milestone for them

Yashiro accepting that he’s just not ready instead of not trusting her like she’d thought is *chef’s kiss*

That pinky promise! Starting the series making a bond due to unfortunate circumstances and ending the series making/staying loyal to a bond out of choice??? Good shit

Aaaaannnnddddd the verdict was:

Mmmmmkay.

I did previously think we’re gonna end the season with The Little Mermaid. But here’s the thing. It only works if everything is in chronological order.

Why? Because the tension that led to this arc in the first place is resolved already in episode 9.

The whole point of TLM is that conversation at the end, really, where:

Hanako apologizes for ruining the donuts (he already did in episode 9)

Hanako thanks Yashiro for telling him that she liked him

Hanako admits that he had a little brother and that he killed him (Tsukasa already confirmed both of this for Nene, both in episode 7 and episode 9)

So having Hanako repeating all this seems kinda redundant. Nene already knows. Sure, it’ll be nice to hear it from him directly ... but it’s too late now, isn’t it? It’s been four episodes. She’s met Tsukasa three times now. However, point number 2 is still available.

Furthermore, since Hanako already apologized in episode 9, I’m not sure if the fishes can use what happened in episode 7 to persuade Nene to leave him. I mean, she forgave him already. Tension resolved. They hugged and all. And it’s been so long since then.

Animating the fish murder scene is also kinda useless. It was supposed to give the audience a glimpse of how dangerous Tsukasa is. But we already know that. We saw him rip someone’s heart out and force-feed it to someone else.

The first half of The Little Mermaid Part 1 and The Broadcasting Club at the end of Part 2 are already animated in episode 7. That leaves them even more room for extra scenes. I hope they take good advantage of that.

Basically, they have to make a lot of adjustments and I’m curious to see what they’re gonna do.

I am happy that we’re gonna see The Little Mermaid. The way Hanako wipes Nene’s face with his sleeve, and then cradles her head? I need it, they make my heart melt. Can’t wait.

[three-houses-text-files]

byleth/rhea

c-s support + paired ending

*i’m pretty confused about this because the support convo interface says rhea doesn’t have c-a supports, but i found text files that are definitely rhea so maybe those can only happen on specific routes (a.k.a. church route)?

edit: nope! there are indeed c-a supports for rhea; i’m not sure what was going on with that one leaked game screenshot for rhea only having s

c

Rhea: Welcome, Professor. This is the first time I have welcomed you here, is it not?

R: There is no need to be nervous. Please, come closer.

R: When you speak with me here in this room, you are not speaking with the archbishop, but with Rhea. It's just me.

>Understood.

R: Such a sweet child.

>I'm still nervous.

R: What a sweet child you are.

R: Oh, my apologies. I should not be treating you like a child. R: As Jeralt's kin, somehow you don't seem at all a stranger to me... R: Speaking of Jeralt, may I ask if he ever spoke of me to you?

>He never mentioned you.

R: Oh dear. How heartless of him.

R: In any case, let us endeavor to become closer from here on out.

>He said you were frightening.

R: My, but that does sound like something Jeralt would say. However, one would be remiss to not take circumstance into consideration.

R: In order to rise to the role of archbishop, one must maintain an unbiased approach to judgment. It oft requires a certain sternness of words and actions.

R: However... I believe that the person who stands before you now is no longer frightening. At least...that is my hope.

>He said you were incredible.

R: Hm, is that so? Unfortunately, I am unable to believe that such words fell from Jeralt's lips.

R: I want you to know that you are free to speak candidly. There is no need to spare me from the truth, however harsh it may be.

R: Since you are here, shall I tell you about the Jeralt that I knew? R: By the look of it, you haven't heard much about his time at the monastery, have you? R: When I first met Jeralt, he was quite young. Why, he could not even grow a full beard at that point! R: On one fateful occasion, the band of mercenaries he belonged to fought alongside the Knights of Seiros. R: I was traveling with the knights at the time, and Jeralt jumped in front of an attack meant for me. He was gravely wounded. On the verge of death. R: I tended to his wounds in a desperate attempt to save his life. Thankfully, my efforts were not in vain. Jeralt managed to escape a seemingly certain death. R: I made arrangements for him to receive further care at Garreg Mach. The moment he was deemed fully recovered, I invited him to join the knights.

>I didn't know... Thank you for telling me.

>He never told me...

R: Well, it is not a story I have often repeated. R: Even at the monastery, there are not many who know that. R: I tell you this because...to me, you are the child of the one who saved my life all those years ago. R: And also...

>Yes?

R: Never mind. It is nothing. I simply wanted to say that I trust you. R: By coming to visit with me today, you have... Well... R: Suffice it to say that my day is brighter than it otherwise would have been. I thank you for that.

——————————————————————————————

b

R: Hello, Professor. It is so nice to see you here. R: It brings me great joy to know that you wished to visit with me again. R: I have this odd feeling that recently you've been trying to avoid me...

>That isn't so.

R: I am relieved to hear that.

>Maybe.

R: Yes. I thought as much.

R: In any case, I am delighted by this opportunity to speak with you again. R: My, how laughable I must seem! I imagine you must be dumbstruck by how unbecoming my behavior is for the archbishop of all of Fódlan...

>Quite unbecoming.

R: Such brusque manners! You must get those from your father.

>I'm sorry to have made you feel that way.

R: Oh, please do not waste your apologies on me. I am, perhaps, oversensitive.

R: But thank you all the same. You are very kind.

R: In any case, how are you feeling? R: Have you experienced anything strange since you began wielding the Sword of the Creator?

>Can't say that I have.

R: Oh. I am glad. There are so many legends about that blade. I was worried that carrying it may result in some strange side effect.

>What do you mean?

R: Oh, there are just so many legends about that blade. I was worried that carrying it may result in some strange side effect.

R: Has there really been nothing odd? A tightness in your chest? Strange dreams? Anything of the sort?

>I'm fine.

R: I see. Well, if something does occur, please let me know immediately. After all, it might have something to do with that Relic of yours.

>Actually... I have had strange dreams lately.

R: Strange dreams, you say? Hm. They may very well have something to do with that Relic of yours.

>Actually, there is a young girl...

R: So you saw a young girl? And she appeared to you like a phantom?

R: I'm afraid I can't explain such an occurrence, but it may very well have something to do with that Relic of yours. R: Please know that you are welcome to come to me about anything. I am here for you, always. R: By the way... When I see you at work, giving such splendid guidance to all of your students... R: I want you to know that it brings me great joy, as though I, myself, am receiving the benefit of your kindness.

——————————————————————————————

a

R: Hello there. I've been waiting for you. R: If you would, please allow me a closer look at your face. Those beautiful, shining eyes... R: And silken hair, so similar to my own... R: ... R: Oh dear, please excuse my rudeness. I forgot myself for a moment. R: It is only that we haven't had a chance to speak privately since you were blessed with the power of the goddess.

R: I hope I have not caused you any discomfort.

>Not at all.

R: In that case, I hope you will allow me to behold your sweet face again in future.

R: It is my dearest wish that we may strengthen the bonds between us further still.

>It was comforting.

R: Oh? I do not know what to say!

R: I am overjoyed that you feel that way, but... Well, to be frank, that is not like you, is it?

R: Still, no matter how I wish to strengthen the bonds between us, it is important that I not overstep.

>Please don't do that again.

R: You cannot mean that! I...I am so very sorry.

R: No matter how dearly I wish to strengthen the bonds between us, it is important that I not overstep.

>Our bonds?

R: Yes. As souls blessed by a connection to the progenitor god, the bonds between us are truly unbreakable. R: Just as the goddess blessed you with her own power... R: I, too, received her divine protection. Long, long ago. R: Though different, our fates are entwined.

>I understand.

R: You say that now, but I am certain there is much you still wish to know.

>I don't understand.

R: To that end, know that truth has a way of revealing itself, in time.

R: Yes, I am certain there is much you still don't understand. Just know that truth has a way of revealing itself, in time. R: If you experience any further changes, please know that you can rely on me to guide you. R: Seteth and Flayn are also here to support you however they can. R: Dear child... May the goddess protect you, always.

——————————————————————————————

R: As I soared through the sky... I spoke with my mother. R: Tell me... Is it wrong for me to be happy that I escaped death?

>You should be happy.

R: Can you still say such things to me, even after witnessing my...other form?

>I'm happy.

R: Thank you. Somehow I feel as though your acceptance alone is my salvation.

R: My sweet companion... I am entrusting the future of Fódlan to you. R: It is the only logical choice, as everyone wishes for you to be the new leader of this land.

>What about you?

R: I am not qualified to continue leading the people... R: Though my intention was to keep the peace in Fódlan, I still propagated a false history and deceived my faithful followers. R: I also took advantage of my position as archbishop to further my own selfish goal of seeing my mother again. R: If my foolish actions had anything to do with the war, I— R: We're all happy you returned to us. R: I wonder... R: After all I have done...is it truly acceptable for me to go on living my life? R: You are aware that it is my fault your fate has been so cruel, are you not? R: You have become so strong... R: You and I...we were brought together by the flow of time, and bound by the hands of fate. R: I took you on as a professor, and ever since... R: Well, I believe with all of my heart that this outcome was meant to be. R: Oh... Perhaps it is disrespectful of me to say that.

>How is it disrespectful?

R: Because it gives all of the credit to time and to fate, and doesn't pay you due honor for all of the choices you made that brought us to this moment. R: For all that you have done... For all the joy that you have brought me... Thank you. R: Ever since the tragedy at the Red Canyon, I have lived a solitary life. R: In an effort to fill the hole left by that solitude, I took up the challenge of reviving the progenitor god... R: I wished for you to become the progenitor god... I wished desperately to be held in my mother's arms once more... R: But that has changed. Now, I wish only for you to be yourself...and to have you by my side. R: I love you. Dearly. And so, I must ask... Will you accept this ring? R: If you feel the same, I would like nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.

>I love you too.

R: You...you brought a ring as well? For me? R: I am overcome with joy... I never thought I would know a day so blissful as this... R: That we found each other... Perhaps that means my mother is looking after us. Guiding us. R: As the new leader of Fódlan, if you wish for this time of peace to be everlasting... R: Well, then I will happily dedicate my life to supporting your reign. R: No matter what obstacles we should encounter, I believe that our bond—no, rather our love— I believe that our love can overcome all. R: Together, we can achieve anything. R: With our love, we will make Fódlan's future as bright as the stars in the sky.

——————————————————————————————

paired ending

After finally saving both Fódlan and Rhea from crisis, Byleth ascended the throne as the first leader of the United Kingdom of Fódlan. From his/her temporary residence at Garreg Mach Monastery, he/she endeavored to restore and develop Fódlan. Having narrowly escaped death, Rhea took time to recover her strength before returning to her role as archbishop. Upon her return, she applied herself to rehabilitating the church and helping those who had suffered because of the war. Thereafter, the two worked closely to forge new policies and achieve progress for Fódlan. The pair's collective work came to be thought of as nothing short of miraculous.

[newdougg]

Just a bit of a personal problem

I’m procrastinating so hard on finishing this one shot I’ve been writing for a while so instead of working on that I’m gonna tell you about this guy and this might get long but I have a lot of ~feelings~ right now that I wanna talk about and maybe no one cares but I just wanna get it out

For context, I have a seasonal in a haunted house that’s run out of a historic site in the middle of a big city. I’m NOT an actor; I’m part of the historical tours that you can pay more to go through before the haunted house. Basically what I do is walk behind the tour as the the guide is giving it, making sure everyone is staying together and following the rules. This section I work in has only 5 people including myself in it so we’re all really close. And we’re all straight girls. So every season, we pick out a haunt crush. It’s stupid, but fun. None of us really act on it anyway. (Except my one friend who is now dating her crush!!!! The dream!!!!!)

Anyway last year I had an okcupid and got matched up with someone who worked there year round. It was a 98% match!!!! In reality that is a meaningless number but like at the time it felt like a big deal. And he was super chill, we had stuff in common, and it turns out he’s from my hometown so it seemed like a good deal, right? Well I’m a very shy and awkward person especially with someone I’m attracted to so it didn’t go anywhere. I tried inviting him out for drinks after work and stuff but he always said no, which was so fucking frustrating. And then this season, I found out he asked out another girl, so that ship has done sailed. Whatever.

So during one of our training days, I have to go back to the costume department to get ponchos for my team because we’re on radio and they can’t get wet. The hall outside the costume area is very narrow, and there’s a few people in front of me and a bunch of people passing through so everyone is trying to stay out of everyone else’s way. Just before it’s my turn to ask for the ponchos, the guy in front of me gets whatever he needed, takes a step back practically into me, and as he turns, his hand brushes all the fuckin way across my chest. Like it was slightly obscene, and 100% accidental. But he’s fucking FINE. So I didn’t care because it was clearly an accident but he apologized a LOT. And I thought that was the last of it.

It wasn’t.

That night for training, we had to give the actors tours of the site. And guess who’s on my tour???????????? Like I said, I have to stand at the back of the tour the whole time, and while he was there he was ALWAYS at the back, not very far from me. But we don’t say a word to each other. 

From here on out I’m gonna refer to this guy as Haunt Crush.

Then, a few days later, it’s our haunt field trip. Every year the whole cast goes to another haunted house nearby and it’s always a good time. So the first attraction my friends and I are waiting for is taking forever. And we start to get bored. So my one friend starts talking to the guys behind us, and one of them is Haunt Crush. And she knows about the boob touching incident because of course I told her. And of course I pointed him out discreetly as the boob toucher. So she gets his name, and says he can hang out with us for the night. And on the inside I was just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we get tired of waiting for that attraction, and move onto a different one. For this one you have to take like an unnecessary 5 minute bus ride for the Effect™. So I sit in one seat, and he sits in the one in front of me. And we talk a little bit. And it was actually fine. When we get to the actual attraction, my one friend says to him about me, “She gets really scared (sidebar: yeah I work in a haunted house but like they still freak me out especially when it’s one where my friends aren’t the actors) so I’ll go first and you go behind her, she might grab onto you jsyk” and I kinda wanna kill her but Haunt Crush says “That’s totally fine” and I almost died on the SPOT.

As we’re going through the attraction, which was super long btw, I was predictably freaking out, but also too nervous to actually grab onto him, despite him giving me the green light. 

But he for sure grabbed onto me.

Haunt Crush was like checking in, making sure I was ok and stuff, and I was, but like it was nice. We went through two other attractions before we had to leave and sadly we couldn’t sit on the bus back together because we had to sit on the same bus we were on the way there. But he did say he would get a drink with my friends and I when we got back. I fell asleep on the bus because it was late and I was still really tired when we got so I just wanted to go home. But when I got off the bus, I was kinda looking for him to say bye. But when I finally saw Haunt Crush, he was hugging another girl and then walked right past me and left. I mean, he probably didn’t see me and just because he’s hugging some other girl doesn’t mean anything but still

So then one day of training is the mock run of the haunt, which is when the operations team (which I am a part of) go through the haunt and all the actors are in costume but no make up. So we’re going through and we finally get to Haunt Crush’s section and he scares me but also is like “Hey it’s you!” and I said hi but had to keep moving. So when we get out of the haunt, we’re just waiting around the exit but my one friend and I left for some reason I can’t remember, and then came back like 10 minutes later. My other friend said she saw Haunt Crush and asked if he wanted to go the bar with us after, and he said yes

So for the rest of the work night I was freaking out because I’m the type of person who needs to mentally prepare for going out and with the added factor of someone I’m into being there???? Yeah I was pretty fucking nervous. So nervous that the only thing that I could do to calm down was drink many drinks. My friends and I were there for a while waiting because it takes actors a while to get out of make up and it goes in order what zone you’re in and he’s in one of the last ones OF COURSE. And the whole time we’re waiting my friends are giving me a pep talk and trying to calm me down but I just drink more. I kept looking across the street to see if he was coming it was pathetic. 

And when he finally shows up, I was pretty buzzed. We were sitting at the bar and my friends were sitting with us but of course one by one they excused themselves from the convo until it was just the two of us and tbh we had a pretty good time! And he bought me a drink! But I bought him like two... I can’t really remember what we talked about though because like I said I was drunk. Eventually we both left and my friend, who is also the manager of the whole haunt, gave me a ride home.

I had work again the next day, and I see my friend who drove me home. She asks me about Haunt Crush. She isn’t supposed to know that’s a thing. She told me that she was sitting across from us the whole night and it was so obvious and he seemed into it too and I want to fucking die everytime I think about that.

BTW, if anyone is still reading at this point, wow. Thanks, and you’re a trooper.

Anyways, that day was the full dress rehearsal. So people from the neighborhood can go through the haunt and so can the operations team. So my friends and I go through again. See, at our haunt, we let the guests have the option of letting the actors touch you. Basically, you wear a glow necklace and that means the actors can grab you and even temporarily separate you from your group; you can go through secret tunnels, down slides, etc. (Not all haunts give you the option though and they just touch you no matter what but that’s a whole discourse for another time) So I get the glow necklace. And when we finally get to Haunt Crush’s zone I was PUMPED because like what if he makes a move because I got the glow necklace?????????? But sadly he didn’t. I mean, he really went in to scare me though, not that it’s hard. 

So after work that night, there’s a big kick off party at the bar across the street. Again, my friends are giving me a pep talk. Because here’s the thing: I’ve never been in a relationship. Ever. Never even kissed a boy. I have so many complexes and hang ups and insecurities it’s really fucked me up. So even just talking to someone I’m interested in is a big deal to me. hence the drinking. So everyone from the haunt, like almost 300 people, show up so the bar is packed. And i don’t see him at first but he eventually finds our table and we talk but again I was drunk so I can’t remember everything we were talking about at this point. I do remember him saying that he was surprised I got the glow necklace, and he wanted to give me space because he knew how scared I would get. I almost flipped the table when he said that. Like bro, THAT WAS SUCH A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY WASTED WTF????????

But my one friend is asking him under the pretense that she’s crushing on someone what guys like in girls. He says stuff but I blank out. Probably because alcohol and because I’m so nervous and uncomfortable.

And that’s when she shows up.

He excuses himself to go outside and he’s talking to the girl he hugged after the haunt trip. And she’s like all over him. No shame. And she’s young too, and he’s not. So that was extremely discouraging. And i just wanted to leave. But my friends made me stay, and said I had to be more aggressive because that’s what he likes in girls apparently. Like, I am the least aggressive person when it comes to shit like this??????? I’m fucked.

So I go to the bar because I need a drink, and my one friend comes with me and I almost have a breakdown right there. Because of course the one guy who maybe kind of sort of showed a little interest in me has this other way more attractive girl after him. It shouldn’t have bothered me as much as it did and yet I was holding back tears. P A T H E T I C.

Buuuuuuut then he came over to the bar. And I was dumb and bought him a shot. I also got myself one. My wallet is still recovering. He did offer to buy me a drink but I don’t know why I didn’t let him. So we sit outside with my other friend who I’ve known forever, because by this point my friends who I went there with were leaving. And then this bitch comes over and sits right fucking next to him. And she’s even more drunk than I was. She’s being so extra, trying to get his attention and shit. She falls off her chair and as she gets up she makes sure to basically put her ass in his face. I went back again to the bar, and got some shots, and I put one down right in front of him while looking her in the eye. I don’t know what came over me.

Anyways she eventually leaves, thank god, and it’s just me, Haunt Crush, and my friend. We talk, mostly stuff about where we grew, how my friend and I knew each other, past haunt stories, etc. And it’s late, like almost 3 am, so it’s time to go. And when I say I’m leaving, he wants to go too. So we say our goodbyes to whoever is still there, and Haunt Crush, my friend and I start walking to our homes. He walks with us for a couple blocks before he has to head in the other direction. And he hugs me goodbye and I wanted to melt.

That was like a week ago, and I haven’t seen him since. A couple nights later I didn’t go out after work, but he did. My friend said he didn’t stay long though. I went out the night after that but he didn’t. That night though, I got drunk again (surprise) and I sent him a friend request and I didn’t remember that I did until I saw he accepted it the next morning. But I was scared that he was only hanging out with me because I bought him drinks. So my friends told me that he followed me to the bar twice, when that girl was all over him he kept pushing her away, and the one time I was at the bar, Haunt Crush was asking my friend about me. So there’s that

Idk man. Typing all this out and really going through all of it again kind of makes me think I’m reading too much into it. My friend saw him tonight and said we were planning on going out tomorrow. He said he would but also asked why we weren’t going out tonight. It’s because I’ve been sick all week and feel like shit rn. I hope he’s there tomorrow though. 

If you read all this, and have advice or thoughts or just want to tell me I’m being dumb, let me know. Because I hate how I can’t handle this at all and I feel so stupid and thanks for reading.

[danielesux]

･:*:･ﾟ☆ ( alycia debnam-carey. 25. cisfemale. she/her. ) ↷ ( daniele 'dani' nemeth ) has been spotted by the paparazzi in los angeles. they are a ( b ) list celebrity known for their career as an ( actress ). they’re known by their fans to be ( affectionate, humble, & open-minded ) but the tabloids frequently portray them to be ( lazy, reticent, & jealous ) . i wish them every success in the entertainment industry. ( michelle. 22. est. she/her. ) ･:*:･ﾟ☆ 

hello, new friends! i’m michelle and i’ve not been in a group like this in many moons so i’m a wee bit nervous, feelin’ a lil shy, but i’m v excited. lemme jump right in and introduce you folks to dani. i’ll have some more detailed stats and such on my page later on, but this is all the need-to-know info as well as some stuff you probs don’t need to know but i feel like sharing anyway! 

her full name is daniele faith nemeth. she’ll answer to daniele and is known professionally that way, but 98% of the people in her life call her dani. 

she’s had dual citizenship in both america and australia since she was a child, since her mom lived in australia (where dani was born) and her dad lived in america. he moved there for work when she was 2, after he’d split with her mom. she wanted to have a relationship with them both, so she lived with her mom during the school years and spent holidays with her father in california. she moved to california full time when she was 18 and looking to begin her career. at first she lived in anaheim with her dad, but she soon moved to los angeles. 

she’s a 25 year old actress, who has done a couple of movies and a handful of smaller roles, and is now a main role on a popular tv show, but she hasn’t always done that sort of tv. 

she first stepped into the spotlight when she was 19 and was cast on a reality show on mtv. (something very close to ‘are you the one?’) her agent said it’d be a good start for her, and she blindly did what he said. it did seem like a fun time, and if she got to meet a few cute people (mostly boys, because of the show’s premise), then that was okay for her.

it wasn’t until after the show was airing that she realized it may have not been a good idea. she began worrying she’d never be taken seriously as an actress because of her reality tv past. luckily, she was able to capitalize on it instead. since her name was out there now and she’d gathered a small fanbase from the show, her agent was able to land her auditions. 

she got a few small roles right away, doing one episode roles on popular shows and having a minor parts in movies. her biggest role to date came in 2017 when she was part of an ensemble cast in a female-led comedy (think something along the lines of bridesmaids?? but set at a college and no one is getting married) where she got to work alongside more established and known actresses. this movie is being called ‘moon girls’ for right now and no i didn’t use some sort of title generator to pick that at random. her character was named elizabeth.

her role in that movie led to even more opportunities for her, the most notable one being her current gig. the first season of her new tv show is now playing and she is one of the main roles. it’s a horror show and spoiler alert, but she’s signed on for three seasons, so she feels like she won’t be dying anytime soon. (i’m thinking it’s a similar show to mtv’s scream. a murder mystery/slasher type of show.) the show has been doing well and is very popular with teens/young adults. for now this show shall be called ‘red dreams’ and no i didn’t use the same generator again, mind your business. she plays a character named savannah. 

so that’s p much the gist of her career, now moving on to more on her personal life and such. 

since she’s started to gain more fame and more fans, she’s been referred to as a ‘bicon’, as she’s very open about being bisexual. her character on ‘red dreams’ is also bi. 

she is proud cat mom, to a 3 year calico cat named chandler. when she adopted him a year and a half ago, that was already his name, and since she’s a casual fan of friends/chandler, she kept the name. she felt bad about changing it, she didn’t want to confuse him. 

while she worked hard to become a respected actress, thats about the only thing she works hard at. she’s a lazy person, always wanting to spend her time on the couch or in bed. give her some fries and other snacks and let her hang out in front of the tv with her cat and she’s happy. 

she doesn’t easily talk about her feelings, sometimes fearing letting people in and seeing her vulnerable side. this is a general thing, but when it comes to romantic feelings, she’s twice as guarded. this doesn’t mean she’s a cold person though. she may avoid genuine, serious talks but she’s still quite affectionate. she’s all about holding hands and cuddling, whether in a platonic way or otherwise. she loves being close and touchy with people - but only people she’s close to, or wants to be close to, if you get me. wink wink nudge nudge. 

some other qualities hmmm. she is jealous, usually with people, sometimes with career things, but she’d never say it out loud. 

she’s humble, almost self deprecating at times. 

she’s one of the least judgmental people ever, and very fair minded, and can usually see both sides of an argument - most arguments, that is. with major things, like lgbt+ issues, etc, she has a side. 

she’s sarcastic, but not cruel, always trying to be friendly and keep the mood light. 

she can be nosy as well, she likes knowing about other people’s drama, but she doesn’t have malicious intent, she’s just a curious person. 

she loves music and tv, and is never not watching or listening to something. 

she is notoriously late for things. she can force herself to make it to sets on time (9 times out of 10 at least) but for most other things? lie to her about the time if you want her there at the right time. 

she’s the person who lurks the group chat and only contributes by sending memes every once in awhile. she is a taurus and yes it matters to her. she’s an astrology hoe. she doesn’t understand any of it but she likes knowing peoples zodiacs signs and reading about their traits and seeing if they’re compatible. 

hey, potential connections and plot ideas!! 

a best friend, because who doesn’t love a good brotp??? i do!! a list, b list, c list, d list, dani doesn’t care and neither do i. she needs a good ride or die in her life. 

co-stars!!! because of course. her two biggest projects were the ‘moon girls’ movie (which probably consisted of a and b list actors) and her current show (probably other b listers mostly) but she had lots of little parts before those, so they could have met when they were both big roles or when dani was just playing barista #5 in their show/movie.

since i mentioned she’s v closed off when it comes to romance, i feel like maybe she’s broken a few hearts in her day. peeps who she got close with and unintentionally led on, and they wanted more but she was Not about to have those convos, so things ended. 

friends with benefits type thing?? dani is gonna realize she just hurts people if she’s not upfront from the start, so she’s gonna try that honesty thing, and it can lead to her and your muse having a no strings attached type relationship. bonus points if one or both of them fuck that up by catching feels tho lmfao.

a mentor of sorts! she’s still relatively new to the scene and is just now blowing up, so it’d be nice for her to have someone to guide her and give her advice. 

an old roomie maybe?? she was not wealthy when she first came to los angeles on her own and she would have needed a roommate. she didn’t get her own place until ‘moon girls’ was out and successful, so they would have had a few years together. their current status is up for discussion. 

some sort of enemies??? that could be fun. hatred is great. dani doesn’t hate easily but she’ll hate you if you want her to. 

like i mentioned, she is a huge fan of tv and music, so maybe your muse is one of her faves!! they can mutually fangirl over each other. or maybe just dani can fangirl and your muse can be mildly bothered by her.

literally anything!! i know i’m gonna remember a few more and be annoyed with myself for forgetting to add them.  

i will most definitely add some pages to my navi with more stats and details and maybe more connection/plot ideas, but for now, there ya go, folks! if anyone wants to plot, please do not hesitate to say hi. i am so thirsty for any and all connections, i’ll cling real hard to you. i’m excited to get things going!! 

p.s. if i don’t reply suddenly its bc ya girl went to take a much needed 10 hour nap. 

[gonetothemoon]

The son of the family im staying was sharing stories of his school- stabbings and fights and illegal chicken farming. I didn't have anything to share and I exaggerated about my school's drug problems. He asked me if I've ever done drugs and I admitted that I had. I wanted to be honest, to encourage him to share, and to seem cool and approachable.

Tbh, he reminds me of my brother. I'm realizing this is a projection on my part, but I wanted to seem like someone he could confide in since I overhear his parents criticizing him, esp. his religious observance. My heart ached for him when I heard his mother yelling at him.

But I think I overshot it. I didn't give any details, but I know I would not be comfortable with a guest talking about drugs to my fourteen year old. And the eleven year old was present too. I don't know how much of the situation she understood or remembered, but oy. I think the parents were asleep by then, but what if one of the kids tells their parents about it?

I don't want to burn my bridges with this family. They are very kind and I don't have many contacts in Israel. Actually that isn't true. I have many people I don't know very well, but could contact for support. I still really appreciate this family.

I definitely can't tell the kids not to tell their parents about it, because that could really damage them.

All I can do is hope they don't mention the convo to their parents. I don't feel close enough to the parents to tell them about it.

I made a mistake. I have to recognize that I am no longer a teenager, so it is not appropriate for me to talk about sex, drugs, etc with young teens. I am not a peer to them, I am an adult.

I told him this- that my school had a drug problem, that a dealer got caught because he left his stash in plain sight, and answered yes to his question. (He's brought this up before, so its clearly something he's curious about. Does that make it worse or better? I tend to think demystifying drugs and alcohol is the way to keep kids safe, but I realize now that that is not my call to make. Because he's not my kid, no matter how much he reminds me of my brother. )

The cultural difference is another factor. This family lets their 3 year old taste cocktails and let their eleven year old do a shot in public. Its not a sign of neglect or abuse, its just a totally different cultural view of alcohol. So I don't know if the drugs remark would be a big deal to them. I'm not sure if that is only now occurring to me or if it was a vague, confusing thought in my head.

I'm less concerned about them telling their parents. It would not be pleasant but it would not be the end of the world. If they confront me, I would say I made a mistake, I'm unsure of the boundaries, of what is normal to talk about with them, what kind of relationship we have, etc. I've never lived with a family im not related to before. I know some borders who are eventually adopted as older sisters, and I guess I thought I was kindoff like an older sister. But I've only been staying with them a week, and however enthusiastic the parents were about "being my home away from home" (the mom's words in the email) there have to be some boundaries. This boy is not my little brother. He may someday become like a little brother, but we are not there yet. And their father is not my dad- i see some similarities, but then I see such stark differences i know I can't project my family's bullshit onto them. They are different people.

I really did want their son to confide in me. I remember honest conversations with adults when I was 16, 17 that really helped me feel less alone. These adults probably would have answered his questions honestly. Mrs. Z would have for sure.

We learn from our own relationships, and I don't know how normal my relationships have been. My mother i know confides in me an abnormal amount, my dad is a narcissist who set my bar for men underground. I was always told I was very mature for my age, so I think adults philosophized with me a way they wouldn't have with other kids. Maybe I'm fooling myself, or maybe I am mature for my age, but these adults would have been honest with all teenagers, not just me.

It's understandable that I made this mistake. I am still figuring out my blindspots. I am nineteen.

And I need to recognize this mistake and learn from it. What do I need to do differently next time?

Remember the relationship I have with these people. Unless it is a close relationship, I should not treat them as I would my family.

A) I don't know the situation. I've observed certain details but I don't have any idea of the full family dynamic, so I don't know how closely this mirrors my family.

B) things that would be appropriate to share with my siblings, like my limited drug experience, would not be appropriate to share with them.

C) it is not my responsibility to save anyone, especially their son. More importantly, I am not qualified to save their son. I have no idea what I'm doing.

I can be nice to him, share appropriately, and build a relationship. If he comes to me with issues, I can offer sympathy. But I cannot advise him, as again, I just don't know any of the particulars of his situation.

[scuttleboat]

2 meta combo: Bellamy/baton + leadership themes after s4

I. Some disorganized thoughts on Bellamy and the hollow baton…

So I had a particular reading of the presence of the bottle prop in the end scene of 413 and didn’t think about it again afterwards, but this week I’ve read a lot of talk about what it means. So I decided to spill my reaction into one giant post. This is my general contribution to the broad discussion of the Baton as (one of several) symbolic prop for Bellamy’s character state. FYI it should go without saying that anything I write is in the context of being my opinion, but also I speak in declarative sentences a lot because I tend to believe my opinions pretty confidently.  To the point:  I don’t think the bottle is empty bc Bellamy is getting a fresh start.* The straightforward meaning is this: the bottle of liquor is drained when Bellamy gets to it because, as a symbol of power, it’s literally and metaphorically empty. Circumstances have rendered it sad and meaningless. A hollow consolation. It’s like… a really explicit piece of visual irony.

((* fyi, the positive hopeful element in that scene is not the bottle, it’s Raven’s steadfastness + Bellamy honoring Clarke’s memory through survival.))

Just going off of a lot of initial fandom reactions I’ve read on tumblr, some fans were so excited about him getting this baton at the finale that they missed that it was empty. And now that folks are discussing it being empty, there’s like this desire to see it still as a wholly good thing. To hold onto that excitement. Which I totally understand, because it seems like such a romantic idea. That he could inherit the thing that Jaha and all the Chancellors in history had. There’s appeal in that. But… he didn’t, and it’s not–emptiness is not a positive symbol in western media, guys. The bottle is empty because the Baton is a hollow dead object now. No more chancellors, no more Jaha, no more Ark ambitions of old. It represents a past dream that is out of sight of the current characters. He gets to a place where this potential symbol of leadership is in reach, and what’s it to him? This symbol that meant so much to Jaha has been reduced to a passing curiosity by a window. It’s not part of his future. Bellamy can’t preserve it and he can’t even drink it, just like he can’t act on the future of the rest of his people when he’s stuck up in space. His family is out of reach and the girl he loved is gone and the promise of a fresh start on Earth (written! right there on the bottle!) turned out to be an empty promise. They never had a chance… the world was gonna end in 8 months regardless of his and Clarke’s choices. This show is so fucking sad you guys. This is why I made myself cry writing about Bellamy in the Ark after I watched the finale.

The Baton is a piece of visual irony because the bottle now represents the hollowness (the ending) of the thing it used to represent in s1. They could have had Bellamy pick up any prop that had a positive and hopeful indication of his role, but they chose to give him the saddest and darkest prop they could. It’s marginally less depressing than a handgun or a photo. He picks it up but because it’s empty for him. (unlike the friend/family standing beside him, who together represent the true hope and the final image of the delinquents’ fortitude.)   That empty hollow bottle is the fragility of life and the tenuousness of survival in the face of a burning fireball of nature fucking you over (note: also a big whopping symbol visible in the same shot.) It’s the UNFAIRNESS of everything that has happened to these kids since the show started–they tried so hard and got this far and the bottle (the dream of Earth)–is *fucking empty*. They never had a chance on that world. It was always going to end.

[read a lot more below the cut, including meta #2.]

In terms of leadership this is the irony of the hollow Baton: Bellamy, who tried so hard to be a leader who was good and strong, and struggled to find his way, has finally has grown into a person who has a more balanced leadership style. This was foreshadowed in him letting go of Octavia and thematically cemented by him letting Clarke go in 413. Thus meaning he is finally “ready” by The 100’s morbid storytelling standards, finally balanced. Except now he’s faced with a situation where the ONLY thing he actually is in charge of is 6 people in a ghost-filled space bucket. Ding ding ding, it’s irony time! Whoo. XD …Meanwhile the world burns below and his love sacrificed herself…brings us to the other half of the irony, where i agree with pretty much the whole shipdom: they never got to have that drink. Because he didn’t carpe diem, didn’t open himself to the person he loves (thanks @velvet-tread). The universe is having one sick laugh at Bellamy Blake in 413, visually epitomized in that bottle.

I know my dramatic self has repeated this several times, but for real now ok— the Baton is literally empty bc it’s metaphorically empty. Drained of purpose. The old ways are no good, they’re surviving on their own, together. New generation. What matters here and now is that Bellamy and his friends will fight to stay alive as long as they can, even as hope burns away. They have each other and they have time so they’re going to stick together and try to survive. But what does the symbol of the Baton mean to that equation? To their future? Nothing–it’s empty. He’s holding it, accepting leadership, even as it’s a working like a visual pun.

ALL THAT BEING SAID---I do think it's fair to say that it being empty has little to no meaning aside from the fact that it was already drunk in an earlier episode and they needed to keep continuity. In that case, the only symbol that matters is the fact that it says "BATON" on it. Which is legit. BUT if we're going to speculate that its emptiness has meaning, then I'm going to say it definitely has a tragic and ironic meaning.

II. That age old leadership contest this fandom is obsessed with? After 4 seasons I think the point of The 100 is that it’s futile and nobody ‘wins’ bc it’s actually an endless struggle of self that C,B,K,A and J all wrestle with, where the “person” they’re competing with is their own failures until they individually learn to be wiser. That’s why the person who ended up in charge was the young interloper who wasn’t even a player til now….bc our main politically-driven characters aren’t in the story to win the leadership prize in the eyes of fandom, they’re in the story to grow.

I’m gonna go right to the explicit symbols of leadership in 413 and point out this: as of 413’s ending, Clarke’s *not* in charge of the future of their people and Bellamy is *not* in charge of the future of their people–Octavia is. While the show gave Clarke a heroic “death” and gave Bellamy friendship + an empty liquor bottle of used up dreams, Octavia was given the clothes / headpiece of the commander and stepped out to make a speech in front of the last of humanity. She has the support of the former leaders and the faith of the remaining majority. ((Whether you like Octavia as commander or not, that is what’s happening on the show right now. FWIW, I was hoping all season that it’d end with Indra.)) While Octavia is probably gonna be spending 6 years off screen going through what Clarke and Bellamy have gone through the last 4 seasons (i.e. emotional tests of being in power), Bellamy and Clarke both have a *reprieve* of leadership. AND ISN’T THAT KIND OF AMAZING? Bellamy only has to be strong and protective for six of his friends–that small team stuff is right up his wheelhouse. He doesn’t have to make decisions of mass death that cause him a season and a half of self-recrimination and doubt. Likewise, Clarke only has to be strong and protective for one person–she doesn’t have to make those mass death choices that cause her to break down crying or have horrific nightmares. She can love one person, unreservedly, without being torn apart by disparate loyalties.

One of the major themes for all the main characters on this show (except Octavia, who is on a different track) has been “How do I learn be a good leader?“ Well, I think 413 wrapped that up with a pretty bow–if the “bow” is the head/heart convo, Clarke’s choice to sacrifice herself, the Baton, and Octavia’s commander wardrobe. Honestly I could make a whole separate and much longer post about leadership as a journey for Clarke, Bellamy, Abby, Kane, and Jaha (guest starring Lexa and Roan as static roadmarks), but not today. I’ll just summarize and say that I think the last 4 seasons have been about the maturation process of Clarke and Bellamy’s leadership skills, starting as people who have the traits but not the wisdom/practice. Then pile on 4 seasons of triumphs and mistakes. By 413, Bellamy’s maturation process ends in letting go of attachment and Clarke’s maturation process ends in self sacrifice (foreshadowed by her taking the nightblood in 408).

I really really hope that the show uses the timeline to age up the characters in a way that the writers move on from this leadership question. That journey is done–Clarke, Bellamy, Kane, and Abby have all gone through a lot. When we meet them again, I don’t want to see them question their decisions every episode. Let them own their choices and move forward!! They’re grown-ups now omg. Give them all new dilemmas please.

If this is really a reboot for the show and for the characters then let’s tell a new story. “What will we do to survive?” is always gonna be the center of the series but I hope the writers approach it in a new way, that it’s not about the toll of constantly escalating power. That journey is done.  It’s been told, and by the end of s4 our favorites have all grown and changed as a result of it. When the survivors emerge from the bunker neither Clarke nor Bellamy will be in charge–so I hope the show takes this opportunity to try new things for their characters. For example, explore the drama of small group politics. Explore family in a way that isn’t just about conflict. Explore discovering love again when everything you used to understand about your loved one has changed. Explore new people and new alliances and new tests. Let’s see ADVENTURE again.

By s5, Clarke and Bellamy are free of the agonies of traditional leadership, now responsible only to their small family clusters. We’ve never seen them this separate from group obligation. I want to see what kind of people that reprieve has made them. Please @the100writers, show us the characters growing new directions.

[thecharlesdilaurentis-blog]

Maya and her part!

**WARNING SUPER LONG IM SORRY**

Recently a fan tweeted Marlene asking if mayas storyline was over and she replied saying their may be a bit more to it. So I went back and tried to see what I could make out of the maya clues and how she fits into everything. 

I always love maya and emaya but her character always seemed a bit sketchy at times kinda like alison. (remember this)

when her and emily first meet she seems REALLY interested in getting to know emily, she was asking tons of personal questions about ali and herself, answering questions with a question, and she was being super friendly and almost choosy with her words, almost as if she had other intentions when she met her. What if she was told to get close to her? (Kind of like ezra & cece already knowing who all the girls were and jenna already knowing alison) 

In S1: “The jenna thing”, maya meets spencer and when her and emily go back to her house she says “I get your connection to spencer, you both like to win.” and emily replies “well winnings great but usually if I do my best im happy with the outcome.” and maya chooses to move the topic to spencer by asking how she feels about winning which always kind of stuck out to me. Emily tells her spencer HAS to win.

I just never quite understood why Maya only really asked questions about spencer, I know you could argue she was just trying to get to know emily but throughout the episodes maya’s in we don’t really see her interested in knowing about all the liars to me it seemed like she asked about spencer only because she reminded her the most of Ali.

& then maya moves the conversation to Alison again saying how she seemed like she was always the center of attention. Then tells emily she usually runs from those girls. Em says “you don’t look like the type of girl who runs from anyone” and Maya moves the convo to something else. (WHO U RUNNIN FROM MAYA)

Also later in the night when emily turns around maya immediately goes and cuddles with her almost like she KNOWS emily was in the closet. She said she had a boyfriend & i dont think it was something she just did in her sleep. + the A alerts afterwards were right on time, something was up. 

this also happens again when they kiss in the photo booth and A steals the strips right away. & maya tells emily not to worry about it that it there was probably just no more paper & drags her away. MAYA WAS IN ON IT THE WHOLE TIME. She was used to bring em out the closet and let A use it against her. 

Also in S2: “I must confess” Maya is scene wearing the exact same tory burch boots -A ordered online. (couldnt find a pic though)

But I think somewhere along the way maya started to really develop feelings and wanted out but A/AD or someone connected to them had stuff on maya forcing her to stay in it so she chooses to run away but A gets her first and kills her before she can get far.

Now lets go back to what I said earlier about her kind of acting like Alison

In the pilot maya asks emily if shes ever smoked and em replies No. Maya says this and the way she says it for some reason really just reminds me of something Ali would say. 

& then later in the episode Spencer sees who she thinks is Ali in Mayas room (ali’s old room) 

But what’s odd is that this person is wearing the same tank Maya was wearing the whole episode.

now this can be explained in a couple ways, either:

1. maya found a blonde wig while looking through the dilaurentis house and tried it on to pretend to be ali.

2. that was really or ali or maybe an ali twin and she was talking to maya & wearing a similiar top? (this one seems too much but wouldnt be surprised if the writers went this way.)

3.maya bought a blonde wig & was really trying to pretend to be someone maybe a trick she learned from a real blonde she knew who liked to wear wigs & be someone else.

       - i’m thinking its this last one! (or i hope it is)

In S2E12: “eye of the beholder” Jason tells em & spencer that maya found some of Ali’s old things in the attic, “Like they were hidden” he thought they threw everything away but maya kept some things, maybe b/c she knew what they were for.

Another thing I wanna point out is maya has mentioned on more than one occasion (1.02 & 1.12) that she has trouble sleeping. I mean I would have trouble sleeping too if I was worried my secrets may catch up to me.

Now I know there a lot of maya theories & some have even said they think she’s A. I don’t think I could really hop on board with maya being A but I do think when mona said “MAYA KNEW” she really meant maya fucking knew, like she knew the game & knew what was going on & just how dangerous A could really be. 

Okay so, we all know there seems to be a couple different teams when it comes to PLL and their alliances. Theres, 

AD & Cece (& maybe someone else? idk yet still looking into this)

Theres the Liars 

Then theres AD’s pawns (Jenna, Noel, Lucas, Shana, Alison (sometimes), Garrett, Mona etc.)

Well i think maya started off as one of these pawns but like all the people above at some point they wanted out and like I said above its likely so did she. 

It’s possible that maybe Ali and Maya knew eachother prior to her disapperance maybe they met on vacation… at cape may.

I saw this picture when I searched up maya clues on google and I almost screamed! I think this Analyzing A tumblr acct found it so i’ll put her link:

http://analyzinga.tumblr.com/post/44225287853/major-clue-possible-spoiler-alert

Could this mean this is Maya’s unnamed brother? Did she also hang out with Ali, Cece, & Melissa during that summer? Or was she scared of them like she mentioned to emily about attention seeking girls like Alison?

Now I heard from twitter it may be fake but still why would they make the mistake of putting it in the credits? Idk I just think it would be a nice twist for maya to have a deeper connection to Ali than just living in her house. 

UPDATE: MARLENE SAID WE’RE MEETING AN UNKNOWN RELATIVE OF MAYA’S! Some people meationed that reporter Aria went off on in 7.12 may be her brother but I couldn’t find a pic and I didn’t wanna sit through hulu commercials to find out so if someone finds the pic reblog it cause I wanna knowwww!

I mean we find out they had to have known each other either way or at least met before b/c they were both staying in the kahn cabin around the same time!

Also when Ali and Maya’s body are found the scene is so similar they even play the same song.

I think at first Alison gave Maya the idea to fake her death & Noel, Garrett, & Jenna helped her carry it out. 

Marlene also posted this pic on insta w/ 2 dolls that w/ the hashtag #emison but to me the 2 dolls look more like ali and maya then ali and em. Idk I just think there’s alot more to their relationship than we know right now. 

Now lets talk about the night mayas body was presumably found:

Maya trys to call emily but she cant get service so it never goes through, I don’t think this was maya b/c her phone was already stolen by this point. I think A just was trying to distract emily to mess with hanna.

Jumping ahead to when Mona falls off the cliff, we get a zoom in on her watch that says its 12am. The girls then go back to their houses and the cops have a body they think is Mayas.

BUT we later see this video of Maya at the kahn cabin at 1:14am

So are we just really gonna believe it took the liars OVER 1hr & 30m to get to thier houses?? B/c maya had to have got kidnapped and then dragged over to emilys back yard from the cabin and murdered. Which just in my head doesn’t add up with the timeline.

In addition to this I noticed when Maya gets pulled out of the cameras view it doesn’t necessarily mean she was captured by A, I think theres a good chance it was Ali who pulled on her to take her out of view and talk to her. We know Ali was staying there too so maybe she already knew where the cameras were and didnt wanna take any chances being seen seeing as this was before A supposedly knew Ali was alive. 

Now lets talk about after her “Death”:

We find out Maya went to the kahn parties often and met holden before, she was also friendly with Jenna, we see her get into a car with garrett the night she died (But we know he didnt kill her because he was arrested at 12am) & its when Nate (lyndon) is introduced and he is accused of being the one who killed Maya. 

Nate never openly says he killed Maya, in fact some of the things he says when he tries to kill paige kind of indicate he thinks emily has something to do with her death. 

He says “Im gonna do to you, what you did to me. Im gonna take someone from you & you are gonna watch me do it.” 

Its also been speculated that Maya was involved in the night em dug up Ali’s grave b/c they used her bottle of pills to drug her (which was also prescribed after she died) & flashbacks she remembers having + jenna lies to her saying she found her on the street drunk when spencer asks why she lied she says b/c she’s protecting a friend.

This was also one of the flashbacks she remembers having,

LIKE COME ON WHO ELSE WOULD WRITE THAT???

Most of me really does believe Maya did end up really dying sometime later before the end of season 3 or in the beginning of season 4 

The girls do find this carved into the dollhouse in S6 maybe AD found maya & took her to the doll house to be his Ali for a while before Mona got there.

But idk i’ve also read alot of theories w/ extra clues and reasons she could indeed still be alive helping out emily and hiding from AD or might even be bethany young herself. So theres that lol. I’m just excited to know that Maya still is relevant b/c her character had so much potential, hopefully mar doesn’t fuck it up!!

Reblog & tell me what you think, do you think maya’s still alive or dead? & if she wasn’t the person in the body bag in 2.25 then who was? 

[murderedfowl-blog]

ok y’all remember how like two days ago i was cryin in the Least Formal manner abt henry’s coping mechanisms & childish nature well here’s a proper(TM) hc post abt it strap in m’dudes here we go i don’t promise it’ll make sense but y’know i will Try

first  &  foremost , i wanna point out specific traits that henry possesses and then i’ll like... go into depth abt them or whatever but alrighty :

01.  finding jokes  /  amusement in everything , even if it is not appropriate to do so 02.  a desire to please   /  obey based on a perceived reward system ,        even if that reward is simply an absence of punishment  03.  a fear of pain despite desiring death  (  &  an exciting death at that  ) 04.  the idea of ‘ power ’ vs ‘ weakness ’  /  a closer look @ certain fears

k so here we go . . .   first off , if we look at henry’s childhood it was not a happy place.  the closest thing they had to positive companionship was animals , the love of other human beings a foreign affair from their earliest memories. even prior to the institution , things were not good  &  i imagine , that like most children , henry tried very hard  (  at first  )  to gain their parents’ love  &  affections  (  there’s some quote that goes like . . .  ‘ mother  /  parents are god in the eyes of a child ’  &  i think that held true for some length of time ??   they v much wanted to please these beings who brought them into the world bc they were , despite it all , very precious to henry  )  via being a ‘ good child ’ i.e. trying to do as told , regardless of what it was.  while i don’t believe their parents simply dumped them in the woods  (  the translations from jpn supports seem to suggest they did ‘ raise ’ them  )  i do believe they were heavily neglectful , most likely not people who wanted a child at all but got stuck with one nonetheless.  there was nothing henry could have done to make their parents fond of them , but ?? that is not a concept they will recognize until later. 

so with that said , from that henry started to learn this idea of ‘ people pleasing ’ that they address a few times  (  the most prominent ones that come to mind are their comment about ‘ if you don’t trust me , you can just kill me ’  &  some comment that is made to robin about how the only order they won’t obey is ‘ don’t fight ’ , but i’ll address that a bit later on  )  and the concept that they didn’t matter particularly , just the whims of those around them , something that was further expanded upon in the institution they were sent to.

from what henry says , we can assume it was not just an orphanage or place to house ‘ unruly ’ children.  they mention spikes being on the floor  &  in a conversation with olivia they state ‘ It was in this institution my parents put me in, right~ there were quite severe punishments for kids who didn't listen -- that kind of stuff happened~ Now that was painful~ ’ which i am positive instilled in them a sense of obedience , further than that which their parents began.  if you acted out , if you failed to do as told , if you fucked up in any capacity , you were subjected to extreme pain  &  near death experiences  (  & frankly , i’m sure henry did watch some kids die while they were there ; accidents happen  &  no one seemed to care very much for these kids  )  and henry has , without a doubt , been subjected to such pain themselves.  which is where this idea of pain = bad  , death = good likely begins to stem from as well ; pain is a prolonged thing , a very bad thing , a sign that you had done something wrong  &  it could hurt for very long periods of time , whereas death , they began to see , was instant release.  to some degree , they were likely jealous of the kids that died , because at least then those kids were no longer suffering , never having to feel pain again. from this whole experience a lot of shit stemmed , not just that.

beyond just this concept of pain is bad , death is good , & a need to do as told , they were forced to normalize certain things at a very young age , those things being death , murder , blood , violence , pain , punishment . . .  etc , etc. essentially , very bad things.  being a kid , ‘ normalizing ’ them meant . . .  not making them a ‘ comfort ’ per-se , but making them familiar in a way that wasn’t negative.  to fear or hate them would have been too much for them to handle , so it had to become a game or an ‘ okay thing ’  &  as such , henry’s fascination with war  /  blood  / death became a coping mechanism , finding familiarity in such things as it was all they ever really knew and were unable to think of it was ‘ bad ’  (  on some level they are , of course , aware that it is not.  a good thing.  but to face that prospect is to face a lot of other shit that a child simply wasn’t prepared to do  &  that now , as an adult , henry is somewhat incapable of doing at present time bc their mind sort of ... stuck ??? them ??? in a child - like state because maturing was too difficult in the given environment  )  and to a child if something isn’t bad then it must be good  ---  right ?  thus comes the commentary of ‘ i love war ’  &  a general chill attitude toward really morbid shit.  but , beyond that , i think what they really appreciate is that they have this very familiar situation and where they are currently , they are not a victim of it. which brings me to point 04. 

henry is not sadistic , in the sense that they do not find joy in the suffering of others  &  even go so far as to promise quick  &  painless deaths to people important to them b/c they understand that pain is a terrifying , awful thing.  however.  they do enjoy being in a position where they are ‘ powerful ’ i.e. in a position where they can inflict these situations vs. having to merely take them , though i think they vastly prefer like . . .  giving quick deaths vs. painful ones , when they are on the battle field.

essentially henry is a scared child  (  ‘ child ’ they’re an adult but y’know. childlike mentality.  )  who doesn’t want to be hurt anymore but only recognizes carnage as a ‘ norm ’  &  takes comfort in the fact that they now have a position in it wherein they may die , but they’re not a victim.  they feel safer in this familiar environment , the way things are now.  fear , i think , is a big motivator for them and they see a lot of things in a  . . .  not necessarily ‘ black and white ’ sort of sense , but a.  ‘ if this is a thing then x isn’t ’ sort of ?? way ??  and there are exceptions and henry is capable of having in depth conversations abt it but like . . .  they don’t want to lmao ?? not if ur gonna argue w/ them.  so there’s that.

but that also brings me back to the ‘ don’t tell me not to fight ’ point from earlier.  what i personally take that to mean is like . . .  ‘ dont tell me to sit back and be hurt  /  let someone be hurt ’  bc that is , in a way , playing the victim again.  being powerless in this sort of a situation.  while henry is a very submissive person , they desperately don’t want to be hurt or put a helpless situation ever again.  there’s a difference between people pleasing and letting yourself be put into a place where you’re actively suffering  &  can’t do anything about it.

oh yeah also henry is aware they’re coping lmao ,,, they know they use laughter and smiles and childlike behavior and the normalization of fucked up shit to get by , they know it’s not.  actually ok. as seen in one of the convos they have w/ ... owain or inigo idr which rn but it’s one of them.  so they’re capable of mature convos. abt this sort of shit but they : ) don’t like to have them : ) as much as they love oversharing that’s the sort of stuff u gotta like... fish out of them  &  they gotta be close to you before you get to the bottom of that can of worms so.

anyway i’m not sure this post had much of a point and it’s a bit all over the place and maybe unclear in some spots but this is how i chose 2 spend a solid hour of my life so here we are...  

[badgalyadi]

random survey. / 350

How old were you when you met your first love? known him my whole life b/c our moms were friends.

Are you taking this survey in a place other than your home? nope.

Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? yeah & i really havne’t seen one in so long

What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? why would i answer this lmfao

Are you good at answering trick questions? maybe so.

Your last ex finds out you’ve fallen in love with another person? pretty sure we have bigger problems than that lol.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? soda. gotta stop drinking it pero it’s delicious sooooo..

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? that’d be one lucky asf baby.

Why are you doing this survey? we’re bored, deborah.

Don’t you hate it when your cell phone dies in the middle of a convo? that.. doesn’t happen to me? lmaooo 

What was the last strong emotion you experienced? Who was responsible for it? sadness and ME cuz i be hurting my own feelings loool

When people fill out your surveys, do you read their answers? as i’m erasing them, yeah.

Have you ever had to cancel a bank account? no.

Was the last conversation you had an argument? no.

If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? oof no, and this question makes it sound like a walk in the park.

Would you run down the street naked if it meant earning $15,000? if it didn’t piss my bf off then hellll yeah lmao tf 

Would you date someone three years older than you? i’d date someone 30 years older than me if i wanted to LMAO hello?!

When was the last time you had Starbucks? been a hot lil minute tbh

Who was the last friend you added on Facebook? my aunt in cuba LOL Where was the last place you got completely wasted? cuba. haven’t been that drunk in a longgggg ass time. If you could would you take back your last kiss? no? Is the last person you kissed, going to be the next person you kiss? yeah cuz my smooches only go to one person 🤪 How long was your longest make out? ah si claroooo let me check my folder where i document in writing all of my makeout sessions.

What if you were pregnant and the last person you kissed was the father? what kind of heteronormative ass question Do you want to dance? put any reggaeton or dancehall song on & yes, 100%. Why aren’t you with the last person you kissed? whoever made this was really obsessed w this topic huh How has the week been? boring & long Are you mad at anyone right now? not mad, just disappointed i guess. confused. idk. Who made you laugh last? lorena.

If you could have anyone as your room mate who would you choose? jacques. outside of that i would never willingly live w anyone ever again. What’s your first thought when the bell rings at the end of the school day? the BELL?! a middle schooler made this huh that’s why y’all so obsessed w kisses. Have you ever sucked in helium and talked funny? yes lmaooo Have you ever changed the prices of items at a store? nah but that’s.. a good idea... wayment. Has a bird ever pooped on you? nah & it better stay that way. Have you ever laughed while drinking & shot something out of your nose? :P yeah lmaoo Do you go for walks often? when i’m stressed & the day is nice, yeah. Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? no lmao my dad would prob cry though & my mom would bitch about being too young to be a grandma. How strange do people say you are? a lil i guess?? idk Have you opened food at a grocery store & ate it without or before paying? this is def the kind of shit i would’ve done as a teen lol Do you believe in the 10 second rule? the whommm... is that the one w food on the floor cuz hell nah lol Do you fall for people easily? no. Have you ever ate a whole pizza by yourself? not that i can remember rn? that’s boss asf though.  Have you ever played 7 minutes in heaven? so many times. Have you lost a best friend? yeah. Have you ever been in a limo? yeah. Do you have any luck charms? nah. What makes you nervous? telling people i love things that i know is gonna hurt/upset/disappoint them. also panel interviews. In your opinion, Which hurts more physical or emotional pain? emotional; you can always treat physical pain w ibuprofen or something. What else are you doing right now? listening to music. When was the last time you drank alcohol? What was it? i had wine on valentine’s day. Are you changing schools this vacation? ??? What’s the most bizarre food combination you eat? soooo many lmao bananas w rice, bananas dipped in marinana sauce or salsa, ketchup w eggs, toast dipped in hot chocolate. Do you like where you live? it gets less tolerable with time. Do you have any plans for today? What are they? school & work. How about for tomorrow? school & work. What was the last song you listened to? a veces, chocolate MC. still. Speaking of toast, what do you eat on yours? jelly or butter. Are you going to any concerts or festivals this summer? mmmmmmm maybe. If not, are there any you really want to go to? cuba’s EDM festival in august lol. When’s your birthday? feb 13th.