#babysitter steve collection

[tennant-the-tigger]

Babysitter Steve: Comfort

Erica is 11, and Jason’s dudes full on tackled her. like wtf. Traumatic. 

I feel like after all the adrenaline is gone, Erica would break. I mean she a tough cookie but cookies snap. Also Erica is totally one of Steve’s Nuggets. 

Lucas | My Stranger Things Art

[schrijverr]

Hi ^^ I said I would do a drawing of the first shaving picture (page 14-15) if i recall correctly, and here is a WIP. I hurt my hand so I cant finish it until my stitches are out but ill finish it then :)

eddie is barely recognisable lol, hope the scene is readable !

Oh my god!!!!! jajsjdjdj that's amazing 🤩🤩🤩🤩 instantly recognizable and so so good! I feel so honored that you'd draw something based ln my work, like holy shit <3333 I am kissing u on the lips xp

Sucks that you got your hand hurt, be careful with yourself!

[beauwulf]

Chapters: 3/5 Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Characters: Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Dustin Henderson, Mike Wheeler, Will Byers, Wayne Munson, Jim "Chief" Hopper, Joyce Byers Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Slow Burn, Getting Together, Roommates, Friends to Lovers, Recreational Drug Use, POV Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Gay Eddie Munson, Canon-Typical Violence, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Friendship, no beta we die like Chrissy, Boys dealing with trauma, Fix-It, background robin buckley/nancy wheeler, Eddie Munson Graduates High School Summary:

“What if we do it together?” Eddie leans across the table.

Steve looks up at him.

“What if we get a place together? We can split the rent. And you won’t have to explain the whole -,” he waves a hand around. “lamp thing.” The other parts - the nightmares, the anxiety, their scars - go unsaid.

A story about healing, moving on and growing up. --- Eddie graduates and stops running. 

[hairmetal666]

The note shows up in Eddie's mailbox cubby on Valentine's Day.

It's nothing fancy, loopy cursive handwriting on lined paper:

"I know this is probably silly but I can't go another day without saying it, and today seems appropriate for this kind of confession. Seeing you in the morning is the best part of my day. You're so gorgeous it leaves me breathless. I hope you don't mind if I don't leave my name. Just wanted you to know that you're beautiful."

His eyes fill with tears that he blinks back, a goofy smile stretching his mouth wide.

"You good there, Munson?" Robin Buckley asks.

"Oh, yup, yeah, all good." He laughs. "Just got one of those 'you're my favorite teacher Mr. Munson!' notes."

He squeezes the letter to his chest before slipping it in his pocket.

---

The worst thing about Eddie's new job is that someway, somehow, Steve-fucking-Harrington works here too. PE teacher, JV basketball coach, of-fucking-course. Once a douchebag jock, always a douchebag jock. What makes it all worse is that he's still the prettiest guy Eddie's ever seen.

---

The first week of March, there's a commotion in the hallway that has him rushing out of his room, ready to breakup a fight. He finds Harrington already there, holding Dustin Henderson and Will Byers by their shoulders. Troy Walsh and James Dante stand across from them, wearing matching snarls.

Of course Harrington is picking on little nerd kids; he knew it. But before he steps forwards to break it up, Steve speaks, voice low and angry. "You want to tell me what happened here, Troy?"

"Byers tripped. He really should watch where he's going," Troy says. James laughs.

Steve's glare goes even more icy, more disdainful (it's so fucking hot, Eddie hates it). "You want to take that again? And try being honest this time, or you're suspend from the team."

Troy splutters for long enough that Eddie finally notices Will's stricken face, the sketchpad and snapped colored pencils littering the linoleum.

"I saw you take those things from Will, and unfortunately, I'll have to call your parents and you will be responsible for purchasing a new sketchbook and pencils. You're also benched for the next four games."

The boys shout, but when Steve raises a hand they quiet immediately. "You want to complain more, or do you want it to be five games?"

"No, sir," they answer before scampering off.

Harrington faces Dustin and Will. "You boys okay?" he asks them.

"We're good, Mr. H," Dustin answers.

"Glad to hear it." Steve begins collecting Will's ruined belongings, stops to study one of the drawings.

"This is really good, Will."

Will flushes. "Thanks. It's my character for dnd,"

"Dnd? That's that game that El and Max are always talking about? With the character sheets and the dice?"

"Yeah!" says Dustin. "You know it?"

Steve's smile is a little bashful, and it tugs at Eddie's heart in a way he has to ignore. "Not much. Just from what the girls have said. You want to tell me about it?"

"Really?" Their eyes light up.

"Really. You can stop by the gym during lunch. Only if you want to, though."

"Cool," says Dustin.

He pats them both on the shoulder, and they hurry away, leaving Steve and Eddie suddenly alone.

Eddie should head back to his class, hasn't been needed in this situation at all, really, but before he can disappear, Steve spots him and his eyes widen.

"You need something, Munson?" Steve's cheeks go a faint pink.

He shakes his head, feels wrong-footed. "Uh, that was really cool what you did just there."

"They're really good kids," Steve says. "I know them a little. Used to babysit El Hopper." He slides his hands into the pockets of his khakis and, seriously, fuck Harrington for looking like that in a pair of Dockers.

"Babysitter, Harrington? Never thought I'd see the day. Or that you'd be the one defending a bunch of nerds," Eddie says. He means it teasing, but Steve's face warps into a frown.

"Y--yeah, I guess. I mean. I'm trying not to be that guy anymore, and Robin's really helped--"

"Shit, man, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant, at all--"

"--I feel terrible about all that shit I pulled back in school. That King Steve stuff? I was awful and you didn't deserve--"

"Steve!" Eddie cuts him off. "I forgive you. For everything." He looks down at his shoes. "For all I didn't want to believe it, you really have changed."

They're both pink faced now, avoiding each other's eyes. "Thanks," Steve says. "I should get going, but--for the future-- I really wouldn't mind--um--trying to be friends."

The grin that passes across Eddie's face is huge. "Yeah, Harrington, I'd like that."

Eddie has to run to make it to his classroom on time. He passes Dustin and Will and the rest of their gaggle of friends, rushing them along, but forgets all about it as he steps in front of his third period juniors.

---

He and Steve are...friendly now. They chat, they joke, they share smiles that have Eddie's heart beating too fast even though it's not like that. Turns out Steve is kind and funny (a little bit of a bitch too, but in a way that ties Eddie's stomach in knots), and a hell of a teacher.

---

His freshman are in small groups, peer-reviewing an essays, when Max Mayfield catches his eye. She's one of his favorite students and absolute trouble.

"What's up, Mayfield." He asks.

"Are you friends with Mr. Harrington?" She asks.

He chuckles. "Sure, Max, we're friendly enough. Why?"

She narrows her eyes, like she knows he's not being totally honest. "Oh, nothing. He just talks about you all the time."

He's blushing horribly and Max, and all of her friends, smirk up at him. "He does?" He chokes out.

"Mmhmm," Lucas Sinclair says. "Says he thinks you're really cool."

"Definitely one of the best teachers here," Mike Wheeler adds.

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Okay, very funny, guys. How're your essays going?"

They answer, but before Eddie goes to help another group, Will says, "he really does like you, Mr. Munson. A lot."

El nods earnestly up at him. "It is true," she says. "I know him."

"Thanks, kids. I'll keep that in mind." He gives them a smile, tries not to let their words get to him. When he reaches the next group, though, he notices his hands are shaking.

---

Gifts start turning up in Eddie's cubby. It starts with a bag of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies from his favorite bakery. There's a small note that says "from your secret admirer," on the packaging. Every two weeks or so, something new shows up in his little mailbox; a woven friendship bracelet, a yellow rose, Hershey kisses, a delicately painted dnd figure that gives Eddie a small crisis because it's his own bard character, an Iron Maiden cassette, a bag of dice that almost brings him to genuine tears.

Eventually, he gets another note. This one is typed and reads: "I would love to have coffee with you 11am this Saturday at the Cafe on Main Street."

---

He walks into the cafe at 10:50am, wearing his favorite pair of ripped black jeans and a burgundy button-down, his hair pulled into a loose bun. He doesn't recognize anyone there.

Eddie gets in line, studies the menu, and the little bell above the door rings. He whips towards the sound to find none other than Steve Harrington in little wire rim glasses, a butter colored sweater, and jeans the man must have painted on, Jesus Christ. Honestly, the whole thing is enough to give Eddie a coronary (and to, embarrassingly, chub up in his own tight jeans).

"Steve?" He asks. He's overwhelmed with the (stupid, stupid) hope that it's been Harrington all along. "What are you doing here?"

"Henderson asked me to meet him. He around?"

"Uh, no?" Eddie feels heat creeping up his throat.

Steve shakes his head, as though he expected as much. "You alone? We could grab drink."

"I can't believe this." Eddie hides his face in his hands, knows it's gone horrifyingly crimson.

"What's wrong?"

"My secret admirer told me to be here now, so we could meet," Eddie's misery slices through his words. "I'm such an idiot."

"I--your--what?" Steve stammers.

He gathers himself enough to look Steve in his hazel eyes and ask, "I'm assuming it wasn't you leaving notes and gifts for me at work?"

And he expects Steve to say no. To laugh and ask why he'd ever do something like that, but instead, instead he flushes a deep red. "O-only one note."

"What?"

"I, uh," Steve clears his throat. "I left you a note. On Valentine's Day. I--we weren't friends yet, and I wanted you to know how much I liked you. It's --uh--it's pretty silly, huh? Robin's--"

"Steve," Eddie interrupts. He's going to tell Steve that he reads the note often enough that he has parts memorized; that it's the kindest thing anyone has done for him, but what he says instead is, "Dustin Henderson told you to meet him here at 11?"

"Yeah. Said he had something to show me."

Eddie remembers running into Will and Dustin and their friends that day in the hall, the weird conversation in class, the dice and the miniature. Something must click for Steve at the same time because his mouth drops, blush getting somehow deeper.

"Oh my god. Henderson! I'm gonna kill him. They figured out I had a crush on you."

"They WHAT?" Eddie says, loud enough that several looks are aimed their way.

"I'm so, so sorry, Eddie. Holy shit, this is so humiliating. You have to believe me, I had no idea they were doing this. God, I'm really starting to think it is possible to die from embarrassment."

"You have a crush on me," Eddie says instead of any of the dozens of helpful things he could say.

"Um. Yes?"

Eddie takes a deep breath, straightens his spine, and asks, "You wanna have coffee with me?"

"I'd really like that." Steve's return smile is so beautiful, it makes Eddie weak.

---

Eddie Munson is making out with Steve Harrington in the backseat of Steve's BMW. He and Steve spent the day together. They've kissed for so long that the sun has set, both of their lips are swollen, their skin red from stubble, and Eddie is nowhere near ready for the night to end.

Steve breaks away, gently pulling their mouths apart, but arms still tight around Eddie. "Hey, what kind of gifts were they giving you anyway? The kids?"

"Oh," Eddie blushes. "Uh, cookies, a dnd mini, lots of candy, a set of dice."

"Oh my god," Steve says, he pulls a little more away. "Oh my god, I'm going to kill her, Jesus Christ."

"Who are are you killing, sweetheart?"

Steve groans. "Robin. She was helping them. We found a set of dice at this little bookstore and she told me to get them for you, and--" he breaks off with a helpless, frustrated noise.

Eddie doesn't mean to, but he starts to giggle.

"It's not funny!" Steve says.

That only makes Eddie laugh harder. "Your best friend," he squeaks. "And a group of literal children set us up. That's hilarious, Harrington."

Steve's mouth drops and for a second Eddie thinks he'll be upset, but then he's giggling too, his whole face crumpling into it.

Steve pulls Eddie close once the laughter subsides, his eyes trained on Eddie's lips.

"We could pretend we didn't get together," Eddie manages to say.

"What, like, make them think they failed?"

"Yeah. We could tell them I got stood up, but you and I hung out. Had a bro day."

Steve giggles again, and it's the best sound Eddie's ever heard. "I'm absolutely on board with this plan, but you should definitely kiss me some more."

"Oh, yeah?" Eddie asks, his voice low. "And what'll I get out of it?"

"Why don't you get over here and see."

As if Eddie could turn down an invite that enticing. He slides a hand behind Steve's head, drawing him in, and they're kissing like they never stopped. It only been a few hours, but Eddie knows--without a doubt--he's already head over heels.

[whomst-the-hell]

The babysitters’ club, as the older members of the upside down crew have dubbed themselves, meet at least once a week. Sometimes it’s only a few hours, just long enough to watch a movie together, to confirm that everyone is still alive and coping. Sometimes it’s all night, and Argyle plies them all with good California weed while they attempt to work through their collective truckloads of trauma.

Sometimes, like tonight, they spend it goofing off and having fun like the dumb kids many of them couldn’t afford to be.

They’re gathered in a circle at the Harrington mansion, deserted as always, playing truth or dare. Nancy has just admitted to smoking weed in her freshman year, in the drama room with Barbara Holland, and she has set her know it all, meddling, journalist eyes on Eddie.

“Truth or dare,” she asks, a challenge clear on her face.

Eddie knows that, with most people, picking truth may be seen as the cowardly option. With Nancy, that couldn’t be more wrong. If he picks dare, he will be safe, but he will be mocked relentlessly by every single person in the room.

…

“Truth,” he sighs reluctantly.

“Who-” she pauses dramatically for effect, a theatrical detail that Eddie honestly respects, even if it fills him with dread, “-was your most embarrassing crush! And it has to be a person we know, no celebrities allowed!”

Shit.

He feels his eyes dart to Steve. Nancy smirks. Bitch. He can’t even lie about it then.

Time to face the music, he supposes mournfully.

“I would like to say, for the record, that I was in junior year, ok. And, in retrospect, with the knowledge I have now, it’s not even that bad, but at the time-“

“Spit it out, Munson,” says Robin, the fucking traitor.

“IhadacrushonSteve,” he says, all in one breath.

“What was that, dude, I didn’t catch it?” Argyle says, voice mellow. Eddie honestly doesn’t know if he’s in on this or not, but he glowers all the same.

Face red, he repeats, “I had a crush on Steve.” He resolutely does not look at Steve.

“No you didn’t!” Steve responds, immediately, aghast.

Eddie can feel his heart tearing in two.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Harrington, this was years ag-“

“You literally rejected me!”

Fucking what.

He knows he must look ridiculous right now, mouth hanging open, cheeks still red with embarrassment, but he does not have the capacity to care.

“Wh- what do you- huh?” he finally manages.

“When you were in junior year, and I was a sophomore? We were lab partners-“

And ohhh, hadn’t that just been sweet, sweet torture. Pretty, perfect Harrington had had to sit next to him all semester, where Eddie could see his freckles and smell his cologne, but-

“You spent the whole semester making fun of me!”

“What the fuck are you talking about, man?” says Steve, eyebrows furrowed in that way he does that makes Eddie want to kiss his forehead and- Fucking focus, Munson.

“You always used to make passive aggressive comments about my clothes, or my hair, or my books or whatever!”

Steve buries his face in his hands and groans.

“I wasn’t being passive aggressive.”

“You- what the fuck do you mean, you weren’t being passive aggressive! Why else would you have said any of that shit?”

“Because I meant it?”

Because he- what? Eddie played back as many of their interactions from that year as he could remember. I like your jacket, Steve had said when Eddie had started putting patches on his denim vest. Your hair looks nice today, he had said when Eddie had tied it back to beat the heat. Oh, that sounds interesting, when Eddie described the plot of the book he was reading.

“Oh my god, you were flirting with me.”

“No shit! I once told you you had really pretty eyes!“

“I thought you were bullying me!”

“How on Earth could ‘I think you have really pretty eyes’ be bullying?”

“I don’t know! It made more sense than it being flirting!”

“I asked you to go to the drive in with me! That is the most classic first date in the book!”

Holy shit, Steve Harrington had asked him out. Steve Harrington had asked him out and he’d said no. This was the worst day of Eddie’s life.

His face must have looked some kind of way, because Steve just groaned again. He sat there for a second before peeking up from behind his hands, a move that should not have been as cute as it was, what the fuck.

“If I tried again now, would you still think I was bullying you.”

Holy shit did Steve Harrington want to date him? This had to be a trick or a prank or something, right?

Except that he’d thought that in junior year as well, and apparently it had cost him a boyfriend, so.

“No- nope, I would definitely pick up on it, uh huh. Definitely,” he said in a rush. God, he was normally so good with words, fuck.

Steve emerged fully from his hands, face pink but expression determined.

“Eddie Munson, would you like to go to the drive in with me? They’re playing Jaws next saturday and I’d love to watch it with you.”

“Absolutely, Stevie. It’s a date.”

There are groans from the rest of their friends as they rifle through their pockets, each passing money to a very smug looking Nancy.

[steddieas-shegoes]

hiiii could i possibly request something with the good ol' "steve is insecure with his place in the group/his intelligence/his worth compared to the rest of the party" cliche with reassurances in the form of copious amounts of cuddles and kisses and pet names from eddie? you're so great for doing these and i'm eagerly waiting for the next chapter of call me sunshine <3

Not Steve "self-doubt" Harrington convincing himself he can't be loved because he doesn't fit in or provide "useful" things to the group!!! I am lowkey hoping someone maybe adds to make this explicit because something about them having to be quiet in a tent just sounds like it has potential idk. Eddie is so in love in this it makes me SICK. - Mickala ❤️ (@scoops-stevie)

----------------------------------------------------

When Steve suggested that they do something fun together for the weekend, he meant maybe going into the city or renting a lake house maybe.

He definitely didn’t mean camping.

Outdoor camping was Dustin’s idea, and all the kids had agreed quickly. Robin bowed out the moment she could come up with a decent excuse and he could tell that Eddie wanted to do the same but wouldn’t abandon him.

Hopefully.

Eddie had quietly offered to steal another RV, but Steve turned it down.

“You just started getting back in the good graces of most of the town, let’s not give them a reason to hate you again.”

So they packed up the van with all the camping supplies they collectively had: three tents (one for the girls, one for the boys, one for Steve and Eddie), a couple coolers full of drinks and food, a few chairs, flashlights, sleeping bags, and clothes.

Steve wasn’t great at reading maps, so he let Dustin ride passenger to help Eddie find where they were going.

He sat with the girls, mostly because he liked the way they just ignored everyone and everything and talked amongst each other about mundane things.

He may not always understand what they’re talking about, but he liked being a part of it.

He almost never understood what they were talking about actually.

But it was better than having everything the boys were talking about go right over his head.

Especially when they started arguing about stuff and talked so fast that Steve had no chance of keeping up.

Steve just kind of watched as everyone around him had conversations.

He tried not to think about how everyone was existing without him in a way.

He was here, but he wasn’t needed.

—-----------------------

When they arrived at the campsite, it was even more secluded than they thought it would be.

It was also only a couple hours until sunset and they all had to make sure the tents were set up properly before it was too dark to see.

Steve got started with his tent while Eddie helped the girls. Max still had limited movement in her wrists so she was given the task of setting the chairs around the fire pit that Lucas and Mike had formed.

Steve was struggling.

He’d only put up one tent before, and it was at summer camp where the counselor and four other boys had been helping. In all honesty, he’d pretty much managed to watch the whole time instead of help.

He would manage to get part of it up, but it would fall apart when he tried to do the other side. He kept losing the pieces to keep it tied down to the ground.

He was losing against an inanimate object.

Everyone else was doing fine; Joking and laughing and finishing up their tasks like they didn’t have to put all their focus into one thing at a time.

El wordlessly started helping him, and he knew she wasn’t judging him, but he couldn’t help the small part of his brain that was telling him that she thought he was stupid.

He was quiet for the rest of the evening.

They cooked hot dogs over the fire that Will started, then made s’mores since El had never had them before.

He watched and listened, smiled when everyone else was.

But he felt overcome with sadness that he just didn’t belong here.

He was the babysitter, he took care of them, and drove them around, and helped them survive alternate dimension monsters.

He didn’t know how to talk to them about the stuff they liked, or play their stupid dragon game. He could barely keep up with half the things they said.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna turn in for the night,” he said suddenly, interrupting something Mike had been saying to everyone.

Everyone looked at him with sad looks, but Eddie looked concerned.

“You okay? Is it a headache?” He asked.

Damn, he hadn’t even thought of a good excuse. At least Eddie was providing him one for free.

“Yeah, just a little one. I think if I sleep now it’ll be fine by morning.”

The taste of the lie in his mouth made his lip curl slightly. The words “friends don’t lie” replayed in his brain as he stood up and made his way to his tent at the far end of their setup.

No one tried to stop him, but he could feel their eyes on him as he unzipped his tent and then zipped it back up behind him.

They’d set up lamps inside each tent so that they could reserve flashlights for bathroom trips or emergencies. His was the kind you can dim, so he did. He took off his shoes and jeans, changing into the t-shirt he brought from home that was probably Eddie’s now that he was looking closer at it.

He’d brought his pillow from home because he couldn’t possibly sleep flat on the ground, and Eddie had brought one of his own because he still had some back pains when he slept wrong.

He curled up in his sleeping bag, holding Eddie’s pillow against his chest.

He felt a tear start to run down his face without his permission, not even sure why he was crying right now.

He heard the zipper and tried to shut his eyes quickly, hide his face in the pillow in hopes that Eddie would think he was really asleep.

“Hey darlin’. Mind if I join?” Eddie whispered.

Steve couldn’t ignore him, so he nodded and started to move the pillow from his chest and face.

“Oh, sweetheart. Why are you crying?”

Steve shook his head. He couldn’t even begin to explain.

“Can I hold you?”

Steve let out a sob, and Eddie didn’t wait for him to answer.

He was laying down next to Steve, pulling him against his chest and running his hands up and down his back.

“Is it a migraine? Do you need me to get some ice from the cooler? Or medicine from the van?”

“No, not a migraine.”

“Okay. Is it just a bad night?”

Steve couldn’t help the fondness he felt at that.

Eddie was so understanding, and incredible, and perfect. Steve didn’t deserve him just like he didn’t deserve the rest of these people.

“Stevie, it’s okay to have a bad night. Sometimes they just happen, right? That’s what you always tell me.”

Eddie’s hand had found its way to Steve’s hair, slowly running through the strands, occasionally looping the ends around a finger.

It sent chills down Steve’s spine when his fingers brushed against his neck so gently.

“I just don’t belong here.”

“I’ll admit the outdoors is not really my favorite place either, but-”

“No, not. Not the outdoors. Here. With everyone.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Eddie’s hand had frozen in his hair and on his back.

“I’m not smart. I’m not good at putting things together or fixing things. I can’t even be in most of their conversations. They keep me around because they don’t know how to get rid of me. I mean, they don’t even need a babysitter anymore!”

Steve’s tears were dripping onto Eddie’s shirt, making a mess.

Another reason he shouldn’t be around.

Eddie tilted his face up, nothing but love in his eyes.

“I want you to listen to me. You are needed in this group. You are wanted in this group. You are loved in this group. Do you really think a bunch of teenagers would be wasting a weekend camping with you when they could be going to the movies or the arcade or getting into trouble?”

Steve didn’t answer, but he sniffled as he watched Eddie get more passionate.

“And it is absolute bullshit that you’re not smart. How many times have you been the one to figure out something, whether it was during Upside Down shit or not? How many times have you been the one with common sense? You’re more than a babysitter, my love. You’ve always been more than that to all of them.”

They laid there in silence for a few minutes, Steve soaking in Eddie’s words as Eddie continued to comfort him in the way he needed.

“I just feel like I need to be more useful. I don’t want them to get bored or annoyed because I can’t be part of their world,” he finally said, his voice shaking.

“Angel, they love you for who you are. Just like I love you for who you are. You fit where you fit because that’s what the group needs. They don’t need another Dustin to always make connections because of one obscure fact relating to something he read once when he was nine. They don’t need another El to fight their battles.They need the Steve who is going to go along with whatever they want to do so he can protect them if and when things go wrong. They need the Steve who is always there to support them even with the most mundane things.”

“I couldn’t even set up the tent by myself.”

“None of us could. I had help. That’s why I told El to help you. None of us can do stuff alone, love. You’re putting expectations on yourself that no one else is putting on you.”

Steve shuddered.

He’d been pretty famous for doing that for years.

Once his parents stopped caring at all, he started caring too much.

And now he expected more of himself than anyone else ever would.

He’d set himself up to fail. At least in his own eyes.

“Did that finally get into that concussed brain of yours?” Eddie said, smirk evident in his tone.

Steve playfully slapped his chest and hid his face against his tear-soaked shirt.

“I guess maybe it did. A little,” he said.

“Good. You know I love you more than the stars, right?”

“And the moon?”

“And the galaxies in space.”

Steve settled further against Eddie’s side.

“I love you, too,” he sighed out, feeling content for probably the first time this entire trip.

In the morning, he’d start over, let his brain rest. He’d make everyone breakfast and then help them all make sure they were prepared for their short hike. He’d pack them sandwiches and extra water bottles in case they ended up walking further than they planned. And when they all got back to the campsite the next night, he’d make s’mores with them.

He’d ignore the voice telling him that he wasn’t enough for any of them, and he’d be enough for himself.

[cranberrymoons]

speak a little louder

prompt: mutual pining (@steddieholidaydrabbles) rated: t word count: 673 words tags: fluff, flirting, nerds in a basement

welcome to Day 3 of the fic advent calendar – bite-sized fics posting every day during the month of december. enjoy!

The campaign lasts all day.

That’s what they call it – a campaign – as if it’s an actual military coup and not what it really is, which is a bunch of teenage nerds sitting around a table in Mike Wheeler’s basement with sodas and a bag full of dice. 

Steve is used to it by now, but he doesn’t expect to have to wait for a whole extra hour when he shows up to collect them, but here he is, sitting on the couch in the corner and staring at the ceiling while he listens to Eddie drone on and on about elves or some shit.

Well – drone is maybe sort of an inaccurate word, considering how into it Eddie’s getting, crouched on his seat like a gargoyle, talking with his hands, doing the voices. It’s actually kind of fun to watch, and Steve is maybe sort of pretending not to find it as interesting as he does, because he has a reputation to maintain, dammit, and he refuses to be drawn in by the spark in Eddie’s eye or the flush on his cheeks or the way his fingers weave strands of the story across the table.

Whatever. Steve doesn’t even care.

“Sorry about that,” Eddie says when it finally wraps up, when he’s climbed off his chair and is standing in front of Steve while the kids bicker over something and take their sweet time packing their things. “Couldn’t stop in the middle, they would’ve killed me.”

He reaches behind his ear for a cigarette stuck there, and Steve stares at the way his rings catch the light as his hand moves. 

“No problem,” he says. He clears his throat. “Hey, can I –” 

He nods his head toward the cigarette, and Eddie raises his eyebrows, holding it out.

“Bum a smoke?” he asks. “Sure, Harrington. Anything for the valiant babysitter.”

Steve smiles as he accepts it from him, and he tries to ignore the way his stomach flips when their fingers brush. 

“Thanks.”

---

They take them upstairs, outside to wait for the kids, and it’s starting to get cold enough now that Steve has to flip up the collar of his jacket against the chill as soon as they step onto the porch. 

“That was cool back there,” he says around the filter clenched in his teeth as he ducks his head to light the cigarette. “The thing, or whatever.”

Eddie eyes him for a moment, then flicks ash onto the ground. “It was like… the metric opposite of cool, but thanks anyway.”

Steve laughs. “Still. It looked fun.”

“You should join us sometime,” Eddie says. He clears his throat. “I mean… if you want.”

And Steve can’t help it; even on top of everything big and scary going on in his chest right now, the idea of actually playing the fantasy math nerd game sounds like –

“I don’t know,” he says, shaking his head. “I think I’ll leave that one to the pros.”

Eddie laughs a little. “Oh, we’re pros now?”

“You managed to save the elf. I think. Sounds pretty professional to me. I couldn’t save an elf.”

Eddie gives him a look. “There wasn’t even an elf in that part of the campaign. I think you’re just making shit up.”

Steve laughs too at that. “Yeah, I had… no idea what you were doing. But the kids seemed into it.”

“So what are you into, then?” Eddie asks. “If not nerd shit, then what?”

You , Steve wants to say. Mostly these days, I’m just into you .

He takes a breath. “I don’t know,” he says instead. “I don’t mind the fantasy stuff. It’s the math part I have issues with.”

Eddie smiles a little. “Then take the numbers out of it. Come watch a movie with me sometime. I bet we can find some kind of nerd thing for you to be into.”

Steve feels his stomach give another little jolt as he stubs out his cigarette. “Yeah, I bet we can.”

[also on ao3]

[atimeofyourlife]

Steve loved people easily. Too easily. He thought there was something wrong with him, because no one ever seemed to love him back in the same way.

The first time he loved anyone was his parents. It was the natural, unconditional love that a child would hold for their parents. Even from a young age, he would do anything he could to make them happy, make them proud. For the first few years, it seemed to work. His mother would show him off to her friends, who would coo over how adorable he was. His father would brag to his associates about how good Steve was, how he would grow up to be strong, athletic, smart. Occasionally, he'd be left with a babysitter, or his grandparents, for a weekend if his parents had to attend a conference, but it wasn't enough for him to feel left behind.

That changed shortly after he turned four. His parents decided he was old enough to be left with nannies most of the time, so they could travel whenever to fit the needs of the business. Even when they were home, which was often little more than a week out of each month, most of the childcare was passed off to the nannies. They didn't seem to care enough to talk about, or even to him anymore. Any attempt he made to show them love was met with "Not now, Steven," or "Don't be so childish, Steven." And as he got older, they cared less and less. After he turned nine, they decided he was old enough to look after himself outside of that one week each month, only having the housekeeper checking in on him twice a week when cleaning the house and restocking the groceries. By the time he was twelve, the amount of time they were home had dropped to one week every two months, and they started missing holidays, coming home two days after Thanksgiving, and then not being home again until well into the new year. He was thirteen the first time they forgot his birthday.

Once he'd turned fifteen and got his learner's permit, they cut the housekeeper. He was more than old enough to take care of the house on his own, and as he could drive, he could get the groceries himself. They'd leave money each time they were home, a little over what was enough for the two months of groceries. A few days before they were due home, they'd call with a list of groceries they expected to be stocked by the time they got back. They actually remembered his sixteenth birthday, buying him a brand new BMW to replace the small second-hand black car they'd got for him to learn to drive in. But they missed the date by six weeks.

At eighteen, he only saw or heard from them if there was something they weren't happy about. Like his poor grades, or not getting into college. They didn't bother to acknowledge his graduation, taking the attitude that it didn't matter as he wasn't going to be making anything of himself. They made him get a job to cover his own expenses, believing that he needed to take life seriously if he wanted their help. They didn't even make the time to come home after hearing he'd been injured in the mall fire. Just leaving him a message saying that they'd give him a two-month grace period before he would be expected to find another job.

He hadn't even reached nineteen the last time he heard from them. After the earthquake he got a call, not to find out if he was injured, just to find out if the house was ok. A couple of days after that, they called again to inform him that they'd found a new house and movers would be coming in to collect the rest of their belongings. They'd wanted to sell the house, but the property market in Hawkins was nearly impossible after everything that had happened, so they were going to sign it over to him. It was after the movers had left Steve realized, they hadn't even left a forwarding address or their new number.

------

Steve loved each of his babysitters and nannies until he realized that they were being paid to take care of him. They gave him a love and attention that he didn't receive from his parents. They cared enough to let him ramble about his day. They spent enough time with him to know his likes and dislikes. To keep track of his hobbies. They were the ones to look after him when he was sick or injured, to comfort him after a bad dream. They would see when he needed new clothes, either from wearing through or growing out of his old ones.

But they were temporary. They only loved and cared about him for as long as they were getting paid to. Two or three times a year, a new nanny would take the place of the old one. He was seven when he realized that they didn't actually care about him, they only cared about getting paid. Overhearing one talking on the phone, "This kid is a bit too clingy, but at least the pay is good for this family." Once he was old enough to be left alone, he missed the companionship of having a nanny, but he couldn't bring himself to miss the false love they brought.

------

As soon as Steve met Tommy and Carol, they meant everything to him. Meeting Tommy at age six, and Carol two years later, when she moved to Hawkins at age eight. He clung to them, the first people his age that seemed to return his love for them. And it was all good, at least while they were young. They spent most of the time together, with each of them inviting Steve over at least once a week. Bringing him into their families, giving Steve a chance to see how bad his own was.

Steve couldn't see it at first, but the friendship between him, Tommy, and Carol became less about the love they had for each other, and more about the love they had for what he could provide. When they were eleven, they realized that Steve having the house to himself most of the time meant that they had somewhere to escape from supervision, and to get away with doing whatever they wanted. As they got older, it meant they had a place where they could have sex without being caught by their parents, siblings, or the police. They loved that he would feed them, always having the best snacks, learning how to cook their favorite meals, giving them food off his lunch tray at school. Once they started high school, they loved the empty house for the ability to throw the biggest parties, securing them top spots on the Hawkins High social ladder. After Steve had received his car, they loved the free rides, basically treating him as a taxi service. His car was much nicer than anything either of them could afford, and gave them a taste of freedom as long as they could give to them.

Steve noticed it after his fight with Jonathan. When they cared more about getting even than how Steve felt. They'd wanted to get revenge on Nancy, framing it as them helping Steve, rather than finding out what Steve actually needed them to do. Wanting to get back at Jonathan instead of being concerned about how Steve was after the fight. Steve couldn't help mourning the friendship, as they had meant so much to him for so long. But he couldn't believe how long it had taken him to realise that they had stopped loving him, and instead loved what he could give to them.

------

He fell in love with Nancy hard and fast. She was beautiful and smart, ambitious and determined. He didn't care what his friends thought of the relationship, he just wanted to make it work. He tried to find ways to bring her into his world, trying to include her in plans with his friends, inviting her to parties. Then Barb went missing from his yard. He knew he handled it poorly, but he felt lost on what he could actually do. Paired with the uncertainty of what his parents would do upon hearing about it, and the encouragement from Tommy and Carol, it pushed him to do things he later regretted.

He apologized, and she accepted it. They got back together a month after the Upside Down happened, just in time for Christmas. He vowed to himself that he would do better, be better for her. He made her happiness his top priority. He used small surprises to cheer her up, little gifts and imaginative dates. He comforted her through the sadness, grief, and guilt, making himself available whenever she needed him. He supported her in the difficult moments, like going to regular dinners with Barb's parents. And he found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with her. She seemed to hold the same love for him, so he didn't feel wrong for daydreaming about a future together. A family together. Every word of love from her, every action that showed her interest, it cemented it a little more. She would show up to the pool while he was lifeguarding over the summer, with the excuse of bringing Holly, but really just staring at him while he was on duty, and chatting during his breaks. She would be at every basketball game, every baseball game, every swim meet. For the first time in his life, he consistently had someone to cheer him on in the stands. Despite the difficulties they'd had, Steve felt like nothing could bring them down.

Then it crashed and burned. Steve genuinely didn't see any issue with the relationship, any sign that the love was unrequited, until his heart was being ripped out and shattered on the bathroom floor of Tina's Halloween party. His head spun with the words. "Like we're in love," and "You're bullshit." He started questioning himself, how long had she felt like that? Had she ever loved him? How had he never noticed? He got Jonathan to take her home, feeling hurt but with the love and care he had for her, he wanted to make sure she got home safe. He tried to isolate himself from her, not picking her up for school. But she wanted to talk while he was in gym. Pinning the problems on him. Denying the words she said while drunk, refusing to take responsibility for them. Not even being able to lie and say she loved him. It was like a knife to the chest finding out from Tommy that she'd run off with Jonathan after less than a day. He still tried to make it right, showing up at her house to apologize, for her not to be home. When everyone finally grouped together, seeing her with Jonathan, the confirmation he hadn't wanted. Nancy looked at Jonathan with a love and adoration that Steve had never seen directed at him. If it weren't for the fight needed for the Upside Down, he would've isolated himself and broken down, wondering why he wasn't good enough. Why he was unloveable.

------

Having a younger brother figure thrust on him wasn't something Steve expected at seventeen, but he would be eternally grateful. Dustin burst into his life at possibly the best time for him. After Nancy broke his heart, he needed somewhere for the love to go. He gave advice, was a listening ear. Doing what he could to help build Dustin's confidence. He was there for the kid whenever he was needed. And Dustin gave him so much in return. A place where he could take himself less seriously, where he didn't need to be Steve Harrington, or King Steve, or 'The Hair'. He could just be Steve, with no expectations or strings attached. Dustin showed up to his graduation, was there to cheer and clap for him when no one else was, and singlehandedly organised the other kids into surprising Steve after. With a grocery store cake that they'd pooled their money to buy, and a handmade card that they'd all signed. He'd missed him like crazy while he was away at camp. And having him back after improved his mood so much, despite being thrown into the Russians.

Steve could feel it changing slowly. Right from the first mention of Eddie Munson and Hellfire Club. He knew he was being replaced as the older brother friend, being swapped out for someone Dustin considered cooler because of the shared love of D&D. Dustin had become more abrasive to him, and was spending less and less time around. It almost felt like a repeat of losing the love of Tommy and Carol, only being wanted when he was useful, for what he could provide. Even after the fight with Vecna, Eddie was still the preferred older brother friend. The one Dustin sought for rides and advice, only coming to Steve if Eddie wasn't available. Dustin had endless patience for Eddie's questions, despite not extending Steve the same courtesy. He never once insulted Eddie's intelligence, despite the fact that the man took three years and a shady government department intervening to complete his senior year of high school, whereas Steve's intelligence was a free for all, overlooking the fact he was the one that was able to pass enough classes to graduate on his first attempt, just because he didn't have much direction in life. Losing the love of Dustin hurt, but it wasn't surprising. Steve knew he was replaceable, expendable. Only needed until a better choice came along.

------

The love he had for Robin was unexpected. He denied it and pushed it away at first. Partly because he felt certain that she didn't like him back, but mostly because he felt wary about loving again. Not wanting to get hurt again, to feel unloved again. It was slow at first, the playful insults having a charming quality to them. Then it hit fast, when he saw how smart she was, how brilliant she was. He could picture being happy with her as his girlfriend, different to other girls he'd dated or been with. He confessed his love while high on Russian truth serum.

She didn't love him back like that. She couldn't love him back in a romantic sense. He didn't have time to feel hurt about it, being caught in the centre of the action. By the time his head had cleared enough to be able to think clearly, he realized that a different kind of love between them could be just as good. Loving each other platonically, best friends, soulmates. It wasn't the love he'd first thought of and expected, but it was the most love he'd ever received. And he didn't doubt it for a second.

------

The love he had for Eddie scared him. It was unplanned, unexpected. What he initially felt for Eddie was mostly distaste, and a little jealousy. Until spring break. He was wary at first, knowing Eddie's reputation. In any other town, it would have been as simple as a drug deal gone wrong. But Hawkins had to be different. Eddie got dragged into the mess of the Upside Down in the worst way possible. Steve didn't really notice the change in his feelings, other than that of friendship, until after it was over. It wasn't until they'd got out of there, injured but alive, that Steve let himself read into the comments, the flirting. Steve started to love Eddie quickly and it terrified him for two reasons, it was his first time having romantic feelings for another guy, and he didn't have a good track record of people loving him back.

Eddie was the one to start it. Steve had come out to Eddie and Robin, and it was a few weeks later while they were a little drunk. Eddie kissed Steve, and took him to bed. Eddie was the one to address it the next morning, asking Steve out. Steve allowed himself to fall again. He loved all of Eddie's quirks, how passionate he was about his music and D&D. How he was anything but a morning person, but always wake up enough to kiss Steve goodbye in the mornings before work. How when he was sat doing nothing, or just watching the tv, his fingers would be constantly moving as if they were moving across the frets on a guitar. Eddie was the first to say I love you. That was what pushed Steve further, into believing it couldn't go wrong. Because there'd never been a time where he hadn't been the first.

And it seemed to go right. Weeks, months passed. It was nearing the year before it fell apart. Steve had noticed that Eddie kept him separate from his other friends, his bandmates. He didn't blame him for it, he'd been an asshole in high school, and while he couldn't remember doing anything to Eddie's bandmates, he'd never given them much reason to trust him either. He would have liked a chance to meet them properly, to make it right, but he wasn't going to push it. He didn't want to give Eddie a reason to have second thoughts about the relationship. It blew up when Steve was planning to surprise Eddie at the trailer. He let himself in using the key Wayne had given him, trying to keep as quiet as possible. It threw him a little, to see a couple of boxes stacked by the tv that hadn't been there a few days before. He started to make his way down the hall, but stopped short when he heard voices. "You're not going to call off whatever you've got going with Harrington before you leave?" It was one of Eddie's bandmates, but Steve couldn't identify which one. He held his breath while waiting for Eddie's reply.

"It's not like it's anything serious. I just keep him around because he's hot and a good fuck." Steve's heart shattered at Eddie's words. He was torn between running out of the trailer, bursting in to confront Eddie, or staying put to try to hear more. In his inner turmoil, he missed the other guy's response, but he heard Eddie's next words loud and clear. "It's not like I even care about him that much. I'll leave town and in a week he'll be back to chasing skirts. He'd probably just strike out, because look at him. I don't understand how could anyone love Steve Harrington."

Steve fled the trailer, not caring about the noise as he moved, choking back sobs that were desperate to burst out of his throat. He threw himself into his car and just drove until the tears blurred his vision so much he couldn't see the road. He couldn't understand how he'd been so stupid, so blind. It was the same pattern repeating again, and Eddie's words had destroyed him, it was the question he'd asked himself so many times before.

How could anyone love Steve Harrington?

My last fic ended fluffier than I first planned, so my brain went have 3k of angst with just a brief fluffy platonic stobin interlude. I'm sorry. I did plan to get this up like 2 days ago but migraines decided otherwise.

[artiststarme]

Hey Brother

Now with a Part 2!

Thank you to @nburkhardt, @doubleb11, and @straight4joekeery for the help brainstorming! I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

It was a quiet night at the trailer park and Steve was looking forward to spending a peaceful night with his boyfriend. Things had been hectic lately between work, the kids, and fielding phone calls from his parents so Steve desperately needed a night to just relax. He hadn’t been able to spend time with Eddie since the week prior during their weekly Buckley-Harrington-Munson movie night and if he didn’t get cuddles stat, he was going to go into withdrawal.

Unfortunately, Eddie did not share the same plans and instead was trying to coerce Steve once again into joining a DnD campaign with him and the kids. 

“Come on, babe! The first day of the new campaign is tomorrow and the kids would love it if you joined. We can come up with a character sheet tonight, we still have time! And I will help you the entire time, it’ll be fun!” Eddie begged him.

Steve shook his head, “look Eds, I really don’t want to play. I’m more than happy just watching you guys have fun. Besides, you know how bad I am at math. I’d be really bad at it.”

“I’ll do the math for you! Come on, your jock prowess will really help you and you’re great at strategizing. What if I postponed the campaign for tomorrow and came up with a one shot instead? Then you would get your feet wet and it wouldn’t be too much pressure,” he jut his lip out in a pout and widened his eyes. It kinda made him look like a dejected rat but in a cute way. 

Still, Steve shook his head. “No, I really don’t want to. Can you please drop this? I just want to watch a movie or something and relax. I don’t want to keep talking about your nerd game.”

All playful pretenses dropped and Eddie’s eyes narrowed. “Is that what this is about? The perfect Steve Harrington can’t play a game for nerds? I thought you were over all that.”

“Eddie, that’s not why. You know I don’t care about that anymore. I like watching you guys play, I just don’t understand it. Maybe some other time,” Steve placated him but it only served to make Eddie more mad. 

“That’s bullshit, Steve!” Steve’s blood ran cold at his words. “You don’t think the ‘perfect jock’ can play a nerd game? That’s just complete bullshit.”

Steve just stood up from the couch and collected his keys from the table beside the door. He turned to look at Eddie and spoke softly, “I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m going to go home.”

“Steve-”

“No, no, it’s uh- it’s just bullshit, right? I’ll catch you later.” Then, he went to his car and headed home. So much for a relaxing evening.  

How could things have changed so quickly? One second they were enjoying pizza and talking about dumb shit the kids had done in the past week and in the next they were arguing about nerds and jocks, the dumb shit from high school that didn’t mean anything. It’s all such… bullshit. He thought he was over all of that meaningless high school drama yet here he was. He was still messing things up without even trying. He should’ve just sucked it up and agreed to play the dumb game instead of ruining their night. No wonder Eddie was so mad at him.

When Steve got home, it was to a dark and empty house. He was alone once again with his parents on some trip, his boyfriend mad at him, his best friend out of town, and the kids no longer needing a babysitter. He hated this cavernous house, the bareness on the walls, and the emptiness that matched the feelings in his chest. He just wanted to go somewhere else, to be welcomed into another house that wasn’t so devoid of character. He thought that would be Eddie’s trailer but he wasn’t so sure anymore. 

He was torn from his thoughts at the ring of the landline. Steve considered not answering it, thinking it may be Eddie trying to apologize or rag on him some more. After his comments of being bullshit, Steve thought he deserved some pettiness. Ultimately though, the Midwestern politeness ingrained in him pushed Steve to answer the call. “Harrington residence, this is Steve. How can I help you?”

“Steve? Oh honey, I’m so sorry to be calling,” a tearful voice murmured. 

It took Steve a moment to place the voice but when he did, a strum of anxiety skittered across his chest. “Aunt Becky? What’s going on, are you okay?”

“Sweetheart, it’s your grandmother. She’s in critical condition and the doctors say she could pass at any time now. I already called your parents and they’re on their way. Honey, if you want to see her, you should come now.” 

Steve’s heart dropped. His mother’s mother, his grandma, had always been his favorite. She babysat him when he was younger, called him every few weeks to check in, and sent him the most thoughtful presents on his birthday and Christmas. Despite the chaos of his personal life at the moment, he had to go see her. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t get to say goodbye to her after all she’d done for him. 

“Um, okay. I’ll head up there now and I can be there in a few hours. Do you-do you need anything?” He asked his aunt. 

“No, that’s okay. Drive safe and let your brother know, okay?” 

Steve nodded in response before remembering that she couldn’t see him. “I’ll call him. See you soon.”

Steve hung up the phone before immediately picking it back up to call his brother. They weren’t close, especially after the events of Spring Break, but they were still family and he deserved the chance to say goodbye to his grandmother as well. There was no answer on his home phone so Steve dialed 9-1-1. 

“Hawkins Sheriff Department, this is Officer Callahan. What’s your emergency?”

“Phil, it's Steve. I know we’re not really talking but Grandma is dying tonight and I’m going to Illinois to say goodbye. Can you please come with me?”

“Wha- Steve? How do you know? What happened?” Phil stammered.

“Aunt Becky called, she says that Grandma is in critical condition and the doctors say that she could die at any time. If we want to see her, we have to go now.” Steve’s voice was panicked as he spoke. 

“Um- yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll uh, I just need to write a note and I’ll come pick you up, okay? I’ll be there in ten minutes,” his brother comforted, his voice gentle over the phone. 

“Okay, bye.”

Steve rubbed a hand through his hair. Could this night get any worse? Not only was he on Eddie’s shit list, his grandma was dying, and now he had to sit in a car for four hours with his estranged, older step-brother. Lovely that this was how Steve’s life was going, just lovely. 

He threw some clothes in a bag along with his hair care products and a toothbrush and then he sat on the trunk of his car in the driveway waiting for Phil. He didn’t know how long he would be gone but he’d rather be prepared. On the fifteenth minute of waiting, Phil’s powder blue Volkswagen Beetle pulled up to the curb and his brother’s head popped out of the open window. 

“Let’s go, shitface! We don’t have time to waste!” He called obnoxiously. 

Steve grumbled as he got into the car but quieted when Phil handed him a coffee. 

“... Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” he waved away. 

They drove in silence for a few minutes until they passed the Leaving Hawkins sign and Steve spoke up. “I hate the mustache by the way.”

“Why would you say that to me?!”

“It looks like an emaciated squirrel died on your face!” Steve said. 

“That’s rich of you to say when you have so much hair it looks like a helmet!” Phil’s voice raised in defense. 

“That doesn’t even make sense!” Steve sputtered.

They squabbled the entire four hour drive to Illinois and it brought a feeling of levity to Steve’s chest. Despite the circumstances, he felt better than he had in a while and all it took was minorly bullying his brother to get there. 

~*~*~*~

Hopper has never been so confused in his life and that was saying something because he’s gone through some major shit. But getting woken up at the dredges of dawn to a panicked Eddie Munson showing up at his door would do that. Almost at the point of tears, he told him that Steve was missing after a fight they had the night prior and he was worried that something might have happened to him. 

Hopper had to deal with Munson knocking on his door before appropriate business hours, the kids panicking because of Steve maybe going missing, and Joyce panicking that something could be going on with the Upside Down. Why else would Steve go missing?

Things only got more complicated and confounding when he arrived at the station to see a poorly written note from Callahan stuck to his desk. It read, ‘me + brother out of town, gma is sick. B back soon. Toodles.’

So now not only is his kid missing, but he’s also down a deputy, and he’s got the Party breathing down his neck annoying him about it. 

Hopper took a big swig of his coffee and sighed, this was going to be a long weekend.

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[oftenwantedafton]

Triptych - Stepfather Steve Raglan/William Afton x Stepdaughter Reader x Mike Schmidt

Rating Explicit

Warnings - sexual content, bisexual characters, date rape drugs, non/dub con

Also available on AO3

Mike has a bit of a thing for Abby’s just barely legal babysitter.

He swears it wasn’t always like this; that he didn’t just hire you because of the way you look in your Catholic schoolgirl uniform or on those days when you have gym last period and you’re wearing a polo shirt and shorts with the school’s emblem that hug every curve while leaving just enough to the imagination when he picks you up and drops you off at his house before going to work.

He definitely doesn’t jerk off in the bathroom with the door securely locked thinking about you on your knees with your pink lips wrapped around his cock. Never that.

God he was turning into such a pervert.

And this would all be bad enough, a laundry list to confess at church if he ever gets brave enough to go back, but to make matters infinitely worse, he’s kind of got a thing for your stepfather, too.

He supposes he’s always been one of those people who just follows what he’s attracted to, gender rather insignificant. In truth there’s never been a man that he’s been this hot for before, either.

It’s going to take a few beers to get Schmidt to admit that he enjoys it when your stepdad insists on picking you up, saving him another trip and more importantly providing him with another chance to admire the social worker. He enjoys it even more when the older man doesn’t just wait for you in the car and actually comes inside to chat for a few minutes. Sometimes Mike offers him a Brewski but, alas, he always declines. Steve has to do the right thing and drive sober, even though he highly doubts one beer would be even remotely enough to affect a tall drink of water like Steve Raglan.

So now the stepparent joins Mike’s collection of lewd fantasies, helping further speedrun him straight to Hell. He likes the silver eyes and the silver threads in his hair and beard and the way his hand rests splayed on his stepdaughter’s lower spine as he guides you out the evergreen shaded front door. He’s trying but failing to not imagine what it would feel like for that spread of fingers on his own spine, sliding through sweat, clutching skin, digging in when the way he works his mouth is just right and now you’re there, too, shared between himself and your stepfather and fuck, he cums harder than he ever has in his life, staring up at the poster of Nebraska pinned above his bed; at those tall, tall trees stretching up, the branches reaching futilely for Heaven.

So yeah. He’s got a lot of that Catholic guilt going on. But it’s not enough to stop him from wanting.

***

Another night. Abby’s tucked in and Mike’s tucking cash into your palm. Steve’s in the car tonight. Pity.

“My stepdad wanted me to invite you over for dinner next week,” you say.

“Oh. Uh, yeah sure, I’ll just have to check to see if one of the neighbors can watch Abby.”

You nod. He likes the way the struggling bulb of the porch light flickers over your features. Sometimes bright, sometimes in shadows. He can’t really see inside the car from this distance but he knows Steve is watching.

“I’ll get back to you on what night works, okay?”

“Sure. I’ll tell Steve. Goodnight, Mike.”

“Thanks again.” He watches you walk down the driveway, to the vintage luxury sedan that the middle aged man drives. He wonders how long he’s maintained it. The thing still looks like it just came off the showroom lot. A lot of time and care invested. Patience.

He wonders if maybe Steve has been waiting for another investment to pay off, too.

***

Mike’s not accustomed to dressing up. The last time he’d done so had been for his mother’s funeral, and that is definitely not a memory he wants to dwell on.

So he decides on a button front shirt and tie. Dark trousers. His socks are probably the worst part of the outfit. They’re mismatched and definitely not the kind of dressy ones that you’re supposed to wear. The shoes have seen better days. He’s really not much for clothes and he doesn’t spare much time taking proper care of them. They’re scuffed and the laces are frayed. There’s no hope for it. Hopefully neither you nor your stepdad will notice.

He walks his little sister next door. Says he’s not sure what time he’ll be back, maybe four hours or so.

The directions to Raglan’s house are sitting beside him on the passenger seat.

He’d spoken to Steve earlier that day to get directions. You’d given your stepfather Mike’s phone number.

His voice in person was attractive enough, Mike supposes. Sort of an odd combination of gravel and nasal, a blend of low and higher pitch when he got animated about something. He much prefers the lower tone, like the one he’d used over the phone. Practically purring like a cat. Mike had found his pants getting extremely tight with that breath in his ear.

The house is nice. Older, but tidy. He wonders if it’s ever difficult for Steve to be here since he’d lost his wife in a drowning accident a few years back. Did he ever think of dating again? Or was the memory too strong?

Mike shuts the door of his rusted sedan. It looks so out of place next to Raglan’s immaculate specimen. He feels out of place. He shouldn’t have come empty handed, but he has no idea of what wines are good and he didn’t want to bring the wrong kind. So. He presents himself empty handed, ringing the doorbell.

You open the door and smile at him. He’s only ever seen you in school clothes. Tonight you have a light pink sweater and white jeans. It compliments your skin tone well. Still clean faced, no makeup. Hair neat and tidy, nails polished to match the sweater.

“Let the man in, it’s cold out there.” Steve’s voice calls over your shoulder.

You giggle and murmur an apology and pull the door wide open, granting Mike entrance into the Raglan household.

“Mike. How are you? Come in,” Steve greets you warmly from an open doorway to the left. “You can just give your coat to her.” He shrugs out of the jacket and hands it to you, following your stepfather into the living room.

“I didn’t know being a social worker paid so well. This place is nice,” Mike murmurs. The couch looks new, plush microfiber. Bookshelves and a fireplace and art on the wall that looks like an original, not some cheap knockoff.

The tall man laughs. “Well, it’s not all from that source of income. I used to own a business. Made some wise investments. We can discuss it sometime, if you’d like.”

“What kind of business?”

“A restaurant,” Steve says.

“Must have been pretty upscale, huh?”

“Well it wasn’t a Michelin star type, no. But it was pretty, yes,” he muses, his voice softening, his eyes looking distant.

“What happened to it? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh, it’s still around. Closed but…I could never quite bring myself to let it go.” He smiles softly. “So enough about going down memory lane. Have a seat. I hope you’re not going to be too upset, but we’re having dinner delivered. Work ended up being particularly busy today, and…”

“No, that fine. Whatever’s okay.” He sinks into one of the couch cushions.

“Great. Well, it should be here in a half hour or so. Want something to drink?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“I’ll be right back.” He winks at him. An honest to goodness deliberate wink. Mike shifts in his seat, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves.

The phone rings after Steve leaves. He can hear his muffled voice from the other room. He drags his damp palms over his thighs. He’s so nervous.

“Hey, my stepdad said to give this to you.” You walk into the room carrying a pair of wine glasses filled with something pink that’s a shade darker than your sweater. You hand him the fuller one. “That one’s yours.”

“Oh, um…” Well. One glass of wine was fine. He’d certainly driven home drunker than that before. “Thanks,” he accepts the glass and takes a sip. Wine has never really been his thing, but to be honest, he could use the alcohol to take the edge off right now. “Does your dad—I mean stepdad—usually let you drink?”

You shake your head. “Never. But he said it’s a special occasion.” You take a cautious sip, frowning over the taste.

Mike takes another swallow, watching as you sit down next to him. So many seats available and you choose this one.

You sample more of the drink. “It’s warm in here, isnt it?” Your cheeks are definitely more flushed. Man, you were really a lightweight.

“That’s normal. You get warm when you drink alcohol. The blood vessels dilate. Maybe you should slow down,” Mike cautions.

“Sorry about that. Work. They just can’t seem to manage without my guidance.” Steve apologizes as he strides back into the room, carrying what Mike presumes is the wine bottle that you’ve been drinking from. No glass for him. He settles on the opposite end of the couch from the younger man, his thigh very close to his stepdaughter’s. “What have we been chatting about? Anything interesting?”

“Can I have some more? I’m really thirsty.” Your voice sounds…off. Not intoxicated, but something else.

“Of course you can, sweet girl. But not too much. We don’t want you passing out. At least, not quite yet.” He tips the open bottle into the now empty glass, helping you to hold it steady.

The older man takes a swig from the bottle, sighing in satisfaction. Mike can only stare open mouthed. What, exactly, was happening?

“Well, at least she gave you the right glass.”

“I’m sorry?”

Steve shakes his head. He rests a hand on your knee. “I’ll give you credit, Mike. You’ve been nothing but polite and respectful to her so far. Almost as if you’re not drowning in impure thoughts the remainder of the time. I know your type.” He smiles but there’s no humor in that curve of lips.

“I…I don’t know what you’re…”

“Oh, Mike, come on. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I’ve had to play the dear devoted stepfather who tragically lost his second wife in an accident for the last several years. Just waiting for the right moment. I think I’ve waited long enough. Don’t you agree?”

“Steve…” Mike begins, unsure of how to proceed. His heart is pounding wildly in his chest. He’s ashamed to say there’s an echo of that pulse further south, too.

“Oh, and by the way, dinner is canceled. Finish your drink,” Raglan coaches you gently. A little of it spills from the corner of your mouth.

“Did you…did you put something in…”

“Just something to relax her. I’m starting to think maybe you need some, too,” Steve manages to tear his eyes away from your damp lower lip, glaring at Mike.

“This…this is so fucked up…”

“And yet you’ve been fantasizing about it for how long now? Weeks? Months? Did you even ask what her qualifications were when you interviewed her for the babysitting job, or did you just drool over her thighs and say yes?” Steve’s hand drags slowly up his stepdaughter’s leg. Your eyes are glassy, dazed, struggling to focus.

Mike swallows loudly.

“I’ve more than paid my dues. Time to collect. You can either share in the plunder or not. I leave it at your discretion. But if you tell anyone about this, I can assure you it will be the last mistake you ever make.”

“You’re not…you’re not going to hurt her, are you?”

“Of course not. I mean, it’s probably going to be a little bit sore when I take her virginity, but, well, that’s to be expected. Maybe with the drugs she won’t even feel it. She certainly won’t remember it.” He threads his fingers through your hair. “You’ve made a bit of a mess of yourself, sweetheart. Let Daddy help you clean it up.”

He laps at the corner of your mouth and Mike’s cock lurches. He knows he should not be having any part of this, he should be calling the police, getting you the fuck away from this man, but he’s too mesmerized by the perverse scene that’s playing out before him. For him.

Steve tugs your head back gently and shoves his tongue between your lips, groaning. You don’t struggle. There is no protest. You’re soft, malleable, pliant beneath him.

The older man breaks the kiss, panting. “So fucking perfect. I’ve always loved that mouth.” He kisses you again. “Want to have a taste, Mike?”

He does.

[tennant-the-tigger]

Babysitter Steve: Distraction

After Two Day later:

Surprisingly, Lucas is most like Steve with playing basketball. And I think playing ball is a comfort and distraction that both jocks understand. 

Also Steve hates seeing one of his nuggets being sad. He wants a Mchappy meal with 6 mchappy nuggets. 

Erica | My Stranger Things Art

[schrijverr]

Page 218-219

[On page 218 are two photographs. The upper one is of Dustin and Suzie on the snow fort they had designed earlier. Erica is there as well, evilly holding a snow ball in her hand with Dustin, while Suzie is making more.]

Ready for Battle

Jonathan Byers, 1994

.

[Under it is a sadder fort, but El is there, holding a snowball innocently, which is misleading. Max is by her side, ready to aim. Lucas is kneeling, trying to make their shelter a little better and providing a good support for Max to lean against.]

Opposing Team

Jonathan Byers, 1994

.

[Page 219 has four photographs. The upper left one is of Erica mid throw. She is letting out a battle cry and looks quite undignified and like she is having the time of her life.]

Erica on the Offensive

Jonathan Byers, 1994

.

[The upper right image is of Lucas diving as a snowball flies over him. The action means he is covered in snow, but he isn’t hit and that is more important.]

Missed

Jonathan Byers, 1994

.

[On the lower left is Steve holding one hand up to protect himself, the other carrying a grocery bag. Neither team is showing mercy, because multiple snowballs are flying towards him. What isn’t known is that El stopped them before they could actually hit.]

In the Crossfire

Jonathan Byers, 1994

.

[Next to it is a photograph of Dustin, who is holding a tissue against his nose while Jane checks his face, looking apologetically.]

Hit by Jane

Jonathan Byers, 1994

~~

<<Prev Next>> AO3

[bigskyandthecoldgun]

imagine eddie’s out of work because reefer rick got put away for good, and rick kept such a tight lid on his own supplier that eddie has no clue where to buy from now. he’s applied to a couple of jobs, but nobody’s gotten back to him yet. thankfully, his saving grace comes in the form of a flyer for someone seeking a babysitter.

enter single dad steve, who just needs someone to watch his five kids (and occasionally the miracle baby hopper-byers twins from nextdoor, because they’re best friends with his kids and refuse to be separated from them for longer than twelve hours) for a couple hours while he takes a much-needed nap every few days. he can’t keep asking their auntie robin and auntie vickie, after all. even if they’re more than willing to watch them, steve feels like it’s too big of an ask without payment, which they refuse to accept. and if the babysitter that responds to his flyer just so happens to be a very attractive guy whose guitar-playing and d&d skills are enough to captivate said children’s collective attention for those hours, well…that’s just an added bonus.

[steddieasitgoes]

@steddiemas Day 26: Second Chances and/or Fake Dating

Tags: Past Steddie, Second Chances, Christmas Angst, Happy Ending Guaranteed, Hurt/Comfort, Christmas Presents

wc: 2361 | Rating: G

Read on ao3 | ao3 collection

It’s mocking him.

The stupid watch in its stupid box is mocking him.

He just had to open the drawer in search of a new guitar pick and stumble upon the stupid gift.

It should have stayed there forever.

Shoved into a dark corner and pushed out of his mind.

Just like Steve did to him a few months ago.

But no, there it is.

Mocking him.

Eddie’s not even sure why he bought the thing in the first place. It’s not like Steve’s lacking in the watch department. The guy regularly wears a Hamilton and he swears he spotted a Rolex tucked away in his nightstand one night a few months back. There’s no way Steve would even consider swapping one of his watches out for the cheap thing sitting in the box on Eddie’s nightstand.

At least, that’s what Eddie is going to keep telling himself until the gnawing feeling in his gut pisses off.

Honestly, he wants to kick past Eddie in the balls for the splurge. Three whole paychecks went into this damn watch and now it's going to sit in a box and haunt his drawer for the rest of his life because it was a final sale item.

“You know,” Max says, startling him from his reprove. “You could just give him the watch instead of trying to blow it up with your eyes.”

She’s leaning against the door frame of his bedroom. Arms crossed tight across her chest, pigtail braids thrown behind her. Her eyes gleam with disinterest that Eddie knows is just part of her act. He appreciates her commitment to the bit, even when she’s willingly over at his house for the guitar lessons she asked for.

Eddie feels like he’s been caught red-handed because he has been. It’s no secret that he and Steve called it quits a few months ago, but they’ve both kept the kids mostly out of it. Sure, they ask a million and one questions when they get the chance, but Eddie hasn’t caved and from the amount of nagging still going on, neither has Steve.

At least they’re on the same page about that.

Still, Max is a perceptive kid, maybe even worse than Dustin and that’s saying a lot.

Besides it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who a semi-expansive watch would be for.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Red.”

“Yeah, okay,” she snorts.

Pushing off from the door frame, she saunters into the room and straight for the box. She’s faster than Eddie is, snatching it before he has time to process that she’s even after it. There’s no use in trying to pry it out of her hands, a fact she is firmly aware of since she plops down next to him on the mattress without even bothering to keep the box out of reach.

It takes a bit of shimmying for her to get the lid off but when she does she lets out a low whistle. “Damn, Eddie. This is gorgeous.”

“I guess,” he shrugs, pulling a strand of hair to his lips. “But what do we know about watches? It could be shit!”

“Maybe I’m a watch connoisseur. You don’t know me.”

“I think a watch connoisseur would own at least one working watch and judging by how late you’re always running despite that thing on your wrist I don’t think you do.”

“You know Steve’s been running late a lot lately?”

Christ this kid needs to work on making her transition more subtle, he thinks. There’s no way he can let her turn into another Dustin. Erica already has that title on lock and Eddie can’t put up with three of them. He just can’t.

“Nice try, Red. Steve has never been late a day in his life now that he’s a certified babysitter extraordinaire.”

“He has! Dustin, Lucas, and I were waiting outside Palace Arcade for ten minutes last week and yesterday we were stuck at the Wheelers for an entire hour before he finally showed up.”

“I’m sure he was just working. Picking up holiday hours.”

“Yeah that’s what I thought, but Robin said he’s been late picking her up too.”

“Well that— that just doesn’t sound like Steve.”

“Yeah, well, it’s like you said. It’s hard to be on time without a working watch and Steve hasn’t been wearing his for weeks now.”

Eddie didn’t become the best DM Hellfire has ever seen without knowing how to craft a good trap or two and this smells entirely too fishy for his liking. Steve just so happens to be watch-less the minute Max spots the watch box on his nightstand? No way. Not a chance in hell.

The alarm bells are blaring in his head and he’s not going to fall for it.

Absolutely not.

Besides, if Steve did lose or break his watch, Eddie knows he has an entire drawer of them to choose from. And even if they all happened to be stolen in some brazen home robbery (which would have been all over the Hawkins Post and local news so he knows that hasn’t happened), Steve could stroll into any store that sells watches and get a replacement without batting an eye.

So, no.

Eddie is not going to hand deliver the watch to Steve like some rejected knight in shining armor.

He’d rather stare at the stupid box for the rest of his life than have to stare into those stupid hazel eyes and pretend he’s still not in love with him, even though he tore his heart out and crushed it into a million pieces.

⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚

Eddie wakes up on Christmas morning to the quiet pitter-patter of rain hitting the roof and Wayne’s horrendous snoring. There’s a chill in the air and he rolls over to yank the extra blanket he keeps thrown over one of his amps in the winter when his eyes land on the offending white watch box.

The same stupid box that refuses to get shoved back in the drawer it came out if two weeks ago.

Jesus H. Christ.

He can’t keep living like this. Waking up every morning to that stupid box takes him back to the first few days of their break up. When Eddie would stir awake hoping it was all a bad dream only to open his eyes to an empty, cold, bed and an ache deep in his chest not even his best-rolled joint could soothe.

Waking up to Steve’s absence was one thing, but waking up to a constant reminder of it in the shape of a stupid Christmas present Eddie bought specifically for him is a whole new level of hell.

One he refuses to spend another minute suffering in.

Jesus, fuck if only the thing didn’t cost so damn much he’d throw it in the garbage. But he can’t in good conscience through a $75 watch in the dumpster so he hastily gets dressed instead.

He leaves Wayne a note, promising he’ll be back soon, and yanks his keys from their spot in their junk bowl. Tossing the box onto the passenger seat, he shifts the van into gear and heads in a direction he hasn’t visited in over a month.

⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚ ⌚

“This is stupid. This is stupid. So, fucking stupid,” he mutters to himself as he stomps his way up the Harrington’s puddle-ridden driveway. If he catches pneumonia because of this little stunt he’s going to be so pissed.

He has two options once he finally reaches the front door. He can knock, face Steve and hand him the gift himself and maybe, if he’s lucky, make Steve feel as shitty as he made Eddie feel when he unexpectedly called it quits. Or, he could leave the watch on his doorstep and hope that Steve stumbles upon it before it gets stolen by a potential Christmas thief.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t get to decide because the red door opens revealing a disheveled Steve.

He looks like complete shit. Eyes bloodshot and puffy, skin pale and lacking that gorgeous sun-kissed look Eddie fell in love with. His hair is flat where it should be swoopy and there are a handful of strands sticking straight up at the crown of his head.

Clearly still in his pajamas judging by the ratty Hawkins High shirt and the oversized gray sweatpants, Eddie lets his eyes drift to Steve’s left wrist. He expects to find the same Hamilton perched there like always. Proof that Max was pulling his leg two weeks ago with her little scheme.

His wrist is empty though, aside from the strap of a gift bag that dangles from it.

“Oh,” Steve says. “S’you.”

“Yeah, it’s uh, me.”

His breath is rancid, too. So much worse than the morning breath Eddie is intimately familiar with since they made a habit of fooling around the minute they woke up. It smells like stale air, Peach schnapps, and eggnog. A fucking tragic combination as far as Eddie’s concerned. Judging by Steve’s greening face, he’d agree too.

“If you’re going to hurl please do it in the push and not on me,” he grimaces, watching as Steve whips his body to the side to do just that. “Christ.”

“M’sorry,” Steve says, resurfacing a moment later with pink flooding his pale face. “I, uh, made some bad choices last night.”

“You could say that again,” Eddie mumbles. His right hand twitches in the air desperately wanting to reach out and run down the length of Steve’s back like he knows he likes when he’s hungover. But the weight in his left hand is the reminder he needs to keep away.

He’s not here to offer him comfort.

He’s here to offer a final parting gift and that’s it.

“M’glad you’re here.”

“You are?” Eddie asks, already cursing himself as his heart skips a beat.

Steve nods. “Was coming to see you actually. To give you this.” Fidgeting with the string of the bag, Steve finally gets it off his wrist and into his hand before extending it out for Eddie to take.

“Oh,” Eddie says, hesitantly reaching for the bag before raising the box in his own hand. “I, uh, sorry it’s not wrapped, but I got you something too.”

“Really?”

Eddie shouldn’t look, but he’s never been one for listening to rules. Even his own. So he steals a glance and feels all the air leave his body. Gone is the dissolved man from moments ago. In his wake is the Steve he fell in love with. Soft smile and shining eyes. Sunlight cast a halo around his head. Those full lips are pulled apart and rounded in that stupid confused look of his that always manages to destroy Eddie in the best way.

Even in this state, he’s beautiful.

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t expect you to buy me something after what happened.”

“Yeah, well, lucky for you I did my Christmas shopping in October before you broke up with me so…”

“Eddie,” Steve sighs, reaching a tentative hand out. “I—“

“Don’t,” Eddie says, pulling away. “Whatever you’re going to say, just don’t, okay? It’s hard enough being here right now. Can we please just open our gifts and go on our way.”

“Is that what you want?” Steve asks, voice bitter.

“Don’t put this on me,” Eddie scoffs. “This is what you wanted.”

“No!” Steve shouts. “It’s not. I didn’t want any of this. I just—“

“I have to go,” Eddie snaps before racing to his van.

He can’t do this. Not on Christmas when Wayne is waiting for him and not ever. Steve’s never going to love him the way Eddie needs to be loved and he is tired of compromising what he needs for others.

But there’s something keeping here. Something beyond his shaking hands from inserting the key into the ignition and driving away for good. Something that looks an awful lot like Steve Harrington running after him, an open box discarded behind him, and the watched help closely to his chest.

Dammit.

“Eddie! Eddie wait!” He yells, loud enough that he’s going to wake the whole goddamn neighborhood if Eddie doesn’t shut him up.

Despite all the alarm bells in his head, he swings the car door open and hops out of the van.

“Steve. I really don’t have time to—“

“I love it,” Steve shouts before colliding into Eddie’s chest, sending them both stumbling backward. “S’perfect.”

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Eddie mumbles, trying his best to free himself from Steve’s embrace. “I know it’s not as fancy as your other watches. S’just trash like me.”

“It’s not trash and neither are you,” he says, holding him firmly. “I owe you an apology. A massive apology.

“I let my past relationship drama convince me that you were going to wake up one day and realize you were wasting your time with me and I knew I wouldn’t be able to survive you walking out on me so I did it first.

“And it was wrong of me. So fucking wrong. I regret it every second of every day. And I understand if you really want this to be the end of us, I do. But if you’d give me another chance I promise to spend every second of every day making it up to you.”

Eddie doesn’t believe in Christmas miracles, but if he did, he’s pretty sure the universe is granting him one right now. That or he’s dreaming. A quick pinch to his thigh confirms the latter isn’t happening though which can only mean one thing… Steve wants him back. He wants him back and he regrets leaving him in the first place.

“Every second of every day?” Eddie asks eventually breaking the unbearable silence.

“Every second of every day,” Steve breathes. “And I’ll never forget because I’ll have this watch to remind me.”

Eddie groans shaking his head. “You just had to make it cheesy, didn’t you?”

“You know you missed it.”

“I did, Stevie. I really did.”

[stevesworld96]

look at me now (part one)

--- steve harrington x fem!reader

childhood friends to strangers to lovers. this is a more realistic look at developing a relationship with steve, set in canon while you know nothing about the monsters, or the nightmares, or all of his scars.

a fic about knowing steve before, during, and after the events of the upside down. including all the ways your friendship with him grows, wilts, then grows again - to blossom into something he probably doesn’t deserve. 

tags: fem reader, no use of y/n, childhood friends, typical king steve meanness, yes there is an allusion to steve being icarus, kissing, fighting and making up, cliches, a lot of emotions, depression and suffering etc, reader has an aunt, mentions of death and injuries, codependent steve and robin, steve is so so so so so so so sad. hawkins doesn't get destroyed after the vecna fight - everything else follows canon

please read both parts, i worked so hard on this fic and i'm really proud of it :)

part two!!!

word count: 14878

-

You knew Steve Harrington better than you knew anybody. At least, you liked to think so. 

You were five when you moved to Hawkins into the house right next door to Steve’s, and as things go when you’re a kid, that automatically made you best friends. At that age you didn’t have to try to be friends with somebody - as long as they lived nearby and had a bike, that sealed the deal. 

He was only knee high to his mother, hiding behind her legs when she brought him over to introduce themselves. “We’re the Harrington's,” she said, then with a tight laugh, “minus one - my husband. This is our son. Steve - say hi, Stevie.” 

He didn’t. Your mothers started a polite conversation and your eyes darted between the tall woman and her son. She was dressed like she had somewhere important to be, with red lipstick painted on her lips and pearls hung around her neck. She was pretty. 

Her son didn’t stand with the same pride she had - he was peeking at you, tugging the hem of his mother’s dress and looking down at his feet. You could hardly get a good look at him, and he didn’t even wave back at you. His haircut was prim and proper; the button up shirt he wore was swallowing him.

They came inside for lemonade, and you led Steve into your living room, and by the end of the hour you had instantly become friends, bonding over your toy car collection that Steve loved. 

You were kids - of course things were so easy. 

To see him, all you had to do was walk over to his front door and knock, and you could spend as much time together as you wanted. Or just wait until his parents needed a babysitter - after they learned how much you and Steve loved spending time together, they started to drop him off at your house and you’d have sleepovers for days. 

It was when Mr. Harrington had gotten a big promotion that they’d leave Steve with your family nearly once a week. 

“I’m sorry, Stevie, I know me and Dad haven’t been home much lately. But next month isn’t as busy for us,” his mom would tell him. 

“It’s okay, Mom,” he’d reply. “Don’t worry, I like staying here, so I’m alright.” 

At your age you didn’t see the irony in a seven year old telling his mother that things were okay - shouldn’t it be the other way around? - but those apologies from his mother wouldn’t last very long. And the promises she always made were never kept. Soon enough, she stopped making them altogether. 

Sometimes he’d just show up at your door, and your parents didn’t have to ask questions because they already knew more than you did, and you didn’t understand that he was more comfortable in your bedroom than in his own. 

The routine of your friendship felt like the foundation of your life. Everything you did was with Steve by your side, like you were tied together with an invisible string that couldn’t be broken. Snacks after school were a must; movie nights every other weekend were your safe haven. The last day of school every year you camped out in his backyard under the stars and then woke up early for a big breakfast and a day spent at the arcade. Even as you got older, those things stayed the same. 

You had busier schedules to work around in high school but you still made it work. After-school lunch turned into midnight snacks, and you moved from the arcade to the lake, but you were still intertwined with child-like joy and ease. 

Steve’s other friends were another story. Tommy H was a thorn in your side that you couldn’t pick out, but Steve didn’t get why you hated him so much. At first, you didn’t get it either - you just did.  

Until one day early in your junior year, Tommy H gave you a good enough reason for your disposition. 

Like always, Steve was waiting for you outside of your last class of the day, and you were just about to turn the corner when you heard Tommy’s loud, boisterous, annoying voice. 

“Steve, my boy, what’cha standing around here for?” 

Steve laughed, even though Tommy had said nothing funny. 

“Waiting on your favorite girl so I can get outta here - what’s up, dude?” 

“Come on,” Tommy said, dragging the words out. “We got shit to do, ditch her and let’s get a roll on, if you catch my drift.” 

You could see his stupid face in your head as he spoke - you just wanted him to go away so you could leave. But you’d wait there forever if it meant you didn’t have to have a conversation with him. 

You were hardly paying any mind to their words. 

“Can’t, dude, I’m her ride home. Tomorrow though, for sure.” 

“She’s holding you back, man.” 

But that caught your attention. They were both laughing even though, again, no one had said anything funny. 

“Y’think so?” 

“She even put out?” 

Your eyes rolled so far back to your head they could’ve gotten stuck. 

“It’s not like that with her.” 

“Oh, that’s not what Kimmy thinks.” 

“What? What do you mean - did she say something?” 

You knew Kimmy to be the new flavor of the week, Steve’s new eye candy. It’d be someone new in a matter of days - and this was one brand new trait of his you were struggling to overlook. 

“Just saying, most of the chicks think you’re taken by Miss Bitch -” 

You call Tommy H a dickhead to his face one time and he gives you a nickname that sticks for three years. 

“- and that’s why you’re not getting any action, dude. Gotta shake off the fleas, man.” 

And then Steve laughed. Loud.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to do. You hoped he would defend you even a little bit, but he didn’t. He just laughed, and said, “I’ll think about it, man,” as if he was in on this joke, and then Tommy left. 

And you didn’t know how you felt. 

It’s not like Steve said it. But he had no problem listening to Tommy H talk about you that way. He thought it was funny. 

Or, he was just saving face - did that make a difference?

You knew Tommy’s words were complete bullshit, and you didn’t care about him enough to let it affect you. Maybe Steve felt the same - maybe he just went along with it because it was easier. 

You hoped so, because that’s what you chose to do. You brushed it off and walked out of the room and acted as if nothing happened. 

“Hey - about time.” 

You didn’t reply; he continued talking as you walked together. 

“You hungry?” 

“Thought you were coming over,” you said. “Told you I wanted to build a blanket fort. Remember?” 

He huffed out a scoff, “A blanket fort? Are you six?” The glare you gave him made him reel his judgment back in. “Fine. Let’s go.” 

…

As soon as basketball season was over and you had your weekends back to yourself, you were ready to get through your watch list of movies as quickly as possible. You’d never tell Steve that cheering for him at his games was your least favorite part of your friendship with him - you would always keep that selfishness to yourself. 

And if you weren’t so wrapped up in your own mind, lost in planning your movie night, you may have been able to see your next conversation with Steve coming. 

“There she is, been lookin’ all over for you.” 

A heavy arm slung around your shoulders as you walked down the school hall. You didn’t have to question who it was. 

“What do you want, Steve?” 

“Just want to see my best friend in the whole world, is there something wrong with that?” 

You rolled your eyes. Obviously he’s up to something. 

“I’m going to choose to ignore you,” you said, shaking off his arm and stopping at your locker. His back fell into the metal next to you. 

“What’s up?” he asked, and he was trying too hard to be inconspicuous, but you ignored it. 

“Nothing. Oh, I think I finally have a cookie recipe we’ll like. Mrs. Jenkins gave it to me but she made me swear I wouldn’t share her secrets. Gonna pick up the stuff after school - have you picked your movie yet?” 

Then his eyes widened, a bit too much to look genuine. “Oh, shit, is that tonight?” 

“It’s Friday, isn’t it?” 

“I completely forgot about that, shit. I made other plans without thinking.” 

“Well, cancel them,” you said with a straight face. 

“Well… what if you join in on my plans instead?” 

You closed your locker and didn’t even consider entertaining Steve’s idea. “My mom’s already planning to make dinner for you. Are you ready to face her wrath?” 

“Well - no,” he said. “It’s just - y’know, I was supposed to see Nancy tonight, and…” 

“Oh, I get it, you wanna cancel so you can get laid. Is that it?” 

“No, Christ - I’ll be there, alright? But next time, I’m getting my way.” 

 You laughed at him, and the bell rang and ended your conversation. 

You didn’t think the night would go any differently than your normal hangouts. Maybe if you were expecting it, the disappointment wouldn’t have stung so bad. 

He called you early. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey -”

“Hey, have you picked up the movies yet? I forgot to get popcorn, so…” 

“No, I haven’t. Listen, um…” There was static on the line for a moment before he continued. “Sorry, but - can we - are you sure we can’t reschedule? Like, tomorrow night?” 

You groaned, you were annoyed. But even when he argued with you, Steve never ditched your valued traditions - he may act bothered sometimes, but he would always come around. Even if he did gripe about it being childish the entire time.  

That’s what you thought this would be. 

“No, Steve, I have book club and tutoring and dinner with my aunt tomorrow. You know this.” 

“Right. I guess I forgot about that. Okay, well…” 

“...Well?” 

Once again, he was quiet, and you weren’t sure if he was hesitating because he didn’t know what to say, or because he was nervous. 

“Well - I think it’d be really fun if we hung out at my place tonight!” 

“I guess I can bring all the ingredients for the cookies over. You do have a nicer oven…” you said.

“No, like, you can come over with everyone else I invited and we could -” 

“I thought you canceled that?” 

“I was going to, but… Tommy wouldn’t take no for an answer! And we already got the booze, and Nance finally said yes and - and I’d be really happy if you were here too!” 

“...Okay.”

“Okay…?”

You thought for a moment, then decided to ask him the question you were asking yourself. 

“Would you be happy if I was there, or would you be happy if I’m not mad at you for canceling?” 

“Uh - either one.” 

“Right.” 

That answer was good enough for you, even though it wasn’t the one you wanted. You weren’t getting anything you wanted that night, and you weren’t going to fight for it with someone who already had their mind made up. 

“Then have fun,” you said. 

“Really? We can cancel?” 

The excitement in his voice caused an angry laugh. “Yeah. Bye.” And you hung up. 

And you made your cookies, and you watched the movies you already had on tape, and you didn’t miss the popcorn but you wished you had Steve’s lap to put your feet on - and it was fine. 

You were sure he was having fun. And maybe he didn’t care at all about your canceled plans - because he was too busy with people who didn’t like you, doing something more exciting than what the two of you did as kids. 

It was selfish to be angry. Maybe it was wrong. But you let it boil over anyway. 

… 

You didn’t talk to him for a week after that. Because you didn’t want to, and you wanted to teach him a lesson, and you hoped it would make him sorry. 

Maybe you were being immature, but at this point, you were committed. 

You were afraid that you were setting the wrong example - that, maybe, he thought you were angry about him making his own plans, when the problem was how he’d canceled yours so last minute. Or perhaps it was both. But now you had dragged it out too long and you were stuck giving Steve the cold shoulder until he finally caved in and apologized. 

That’s all you wanted, really: an apology. And a bribe or two, just to get the most out of this argument. That’s how things usually went: you give him the silent treatment and he shows up at your door with your favorite snacks and a new book, and things would go back to normal. 

But not this time. 

You’d managed to bike to school without being caught by Steve all week, but you’d underestimated him waiting for you at the bike racks at the end of the day on Thursday. 

He stood with his arms crossed and his brows drawn together. The moment you saw him you stopped in your tracks, like if you stayed still he wouldn’t see you, but his gaze was locked on. It didn’t look kind. 

So you prepared yourself for this fight. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, but his tone said something different - it said, I’m sick of your shit. 

“What are you doing?” 

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Just wondering how long you’re going to keep dragging this out.” 

You kept darting around his words and moved to get your bike as if he’d let you leave so easily. “I’m not dragging anything out. Don’t know what you mean.” 

His arms flung out to his sides as his voice raised, “You’re acting like a fucking kid!”

And your volume matched his, “You hurt my feelings!” 

“Well - grow up!” 

The short silence that followed felt heavy, but he didn’t let it sit for long. 

“I mean - come on - I ditch you one time and all of a sudden we’re not friends anymore? Really?” 

“A sorry would be nice, Steve.” 

“I’ve said sorry.” Both of you knew that he hadn’t, but it didn’t matter now. “But sorry isn’t enough, is it? You’re just mad that I have new friends. Because I don’t want to just - sit around and fucking - watch movies in your living room like we’re kids -” 

“Like we’re kids,” you said, laughing. “Yeah - right, because that’s really what this is about, isn’t it, Steve?” 

He looked confused, and you didn’t give him the chance to speak. 

“Because I’m holding you back. Right? Tommy H said it so it must be true. I’m a bitch and I’m keeping you down and you need to shake me off if you ever want to get any action - that’s what it is. Just say it, Steve.” 

“Where is this coming from?” He ran a hand through his hair and his voice sounded desperate, but you weren’t sure what for. Maybe to salvage the remnants of a wounded friendship, to turn this conversation around. But your anger wouldn’t let him. 

“You know where it’s coming from. I heard it, Steve, and you - you agreed with him! I’m your best friend but you can’t even defend me to your shitty fucking friends - so just say it! You’re the one who doesn’t want me around -” 

“That’s not what happened -” 

You were so angry, and he was lying, and Steve never lied to you, and he’d filled you with so much venom that you couldn’t help spitting it out as you stepped closer to him. “It is. And you’re turning it on me when you’re the shitty friend. Stop lying to me and just say it.” 

“Yeah, maybe that is what it is - and I was just too fucking stupid to see it before now. That you’re so fucking clingy I can’t even have one night with a girl without you getting jealous. He was right. Is that what you wanted to hear?” 

“Yeah, it was,” and you pulled your bike free and your foot hit the kickstand so hard that it hurt, and you told yourself the pain was the reason tears were flooding your eyes. 

“Maybe I’m better off without you - have you ever thought about that? Is that your fucking problem?”

“Whatever! I don’t care anymore! You never have to watch another fucking movie with me again, alright? We won’t go to the arcade or build stupid fucking blanket forts or any of the other childish shit you hate so much!”

“Good - fucking - good!” 

“And I hope you have fun playing King, and I hope when all your friends turn on you and Nancy dumps your ass - because you’re an asshole - that I’m the last person you run to for help, and I hope your dad is real fucking proud of you, because you’re turning out to be just fucking like him.” 

It all fell out like you were pushing rocks off of a cliff - fast and angry and hard. You knew what those words would do to him. You knew you were hurting his feelings more than he had ever hurt yours - that you were putting the knife in too deep to pull out. You knew and you said it anyway, because you were mad and he was being a dick and lashing out felt good. Especially when you could hop on your bike and ride away from him, fast enough to avoid watching the blood pooling at his feet. 

The worst part is that you were being honest. 

Steve stood there alone and didn’t even turn to watch you ride away. He felt like hitting something, or screaming until his lungs were empty and tired. 

And he didn’t even have time for any of this. He was finally making decisions for himself, for once, and who were you to get mad at him for that? He was popular, he had a girlfriend who was actually into him, his parents had finally gotten off his back. Things were going fantastic for him and he wasn’t going to let you mess it up because you were… jealous, or selfish, or whatever it was - Steve didn’t care. 

He wasn’t going to lose sleep over you refusing to grow up and give him space. He was on top of the world, and you were trying to tear him down. 

He didn’t need you, anyway. 

… 

Months passed.

And, like you had put a hex on him, all of your words came true - and then some. It didn’t take very long for things to crumble around him, and Steve almost thought it was funny how quickly his wings had melted to send him hurling into the ground. 

No matter how hard he tried patching the holes, everyone knows you can’t fly with wings made of wax.

The fall hurt. But it was what came after that brought the real pain - a stinging, striking ache that was impossible to ignore. It felt like he was the last person on earth and he deserved it; like he shouldn’t be allowed to be around other people because he was no good.

And every time he tried putting the pieces back together, things only got more broken - all starting at Jonathan Byers’ front door. 

What could get worse than fighting a monster from an alternate dimension? 

Or fucking things up with your girlfriend beyond repair? 

Or fighting those monsters again? 

He learned quickly to stop asking stupid questions like those. 

And he learned that he couldn’t just close his eyes and wish it away. He couldn’t run when things got scary; he couldn’t lash out when someone was honest with him; he couldn’t sneak out of his window and into yours when the yelling got too loud. He was forced to face everything he ever hid from, cursed to have regrets and keep them. 

At least he wasn’t completely alone - the company of nerdy kid genius Dustin Henderson brought most of these lessons on. And in a normal situation Steve wouldn’t recommend learning anything from a kid in junior high, but he was living anything but a normal life. He’d take friends wherever he could get them, especially during senior year. 

Maybe he wanted to set a good example for the kids that suddenly came into his life. Maybe he wanted to prove to himself that he wasn’t his father - that he could do good things without getting something out of it. Or maybe, most likely, he just did it. 

He wanted to feel like a superhero, wanted to look in the mirror and feel proud of what stared back at him. But he didn’t, because he wasn’t. He wasn’t brave or heroic or gallant - he was no Clark Kent. And everything he did was because he had to. Because who else would? 

Sometimes he felt like only someone as careless as him would fight a man-eating creature with nothing but a baseball bat - because out of everyone he knew, he had the least to lose. Why bother making safe decisions when most days he didn’t even want to get out of bed? What was he risking when he’d already bet it all and lost? 

And who would be proud of that?

But there were moments, in the time between the fall and the fight, that he could almost see it. Like a flicker of light passing by he’d see Max smiling at him, hear Dustin’s excited laughter, feel a heavy high five from Lucas and he’d think - oh. Right there, standing in front of him, were the people he had to lose. The ones he was trying to win for. 

And then he’d lay in bed at night and get stuck in another sleepless round of self loathing; hatred fueled by every cruel word he’d spit and all the selfish acts he’d taken, and fuck, he was spinning and suffocating and screaming, and maybe he deserved this. 

It didn’t matter that he knew how to swing a fucking bat good enough to win more time for the ones he loved, because he wouldn’t love them right, anyway. And he’d turned the best person he’d ever known into nothing more than a crumpled piece of paper on his floor - something to be tossed aside and forgotten. And even if he tried smoothing it out, those creases would always be there. 

Sometimes he stared out his window and watched yours. Waited for your light to turn off so he could look away and stop wondering what you were doing and how your life was without him in it. 

All he wanted was to see you again. He’d beg for that movie night he ditched on junior year. He wanted to grab you by your shoulders and show you that he’s better now, he’s changed, those last words you told him weren’t applicable anymore and everything can just go back to how it was. 

But nothing was ever that easy, was it?

He was glad when graduation finally came around, until he was forced into a sailor’s uniform with an ice cream scoop on his belt like a gun in a holster. 

It was one way to spend the summer. It got him out of the house he hated staying in, and put a little money in his pocket, so slinging ice cream at Scoop’s Ahoy was good enough for him. 

It distracted him from the vague nightmares he kept having and the fact that he got into a total of zero universities, and the free ice cream counted as dinner on his bad days. And he was fine with his obnoxious co-worker and annoying customers. 

He was just fine. 

But it was Hawkins. Nothing could stay fine there - not after a little girl with super powers opened a portal to an alternate fucking dimension and turned the town into a magnet for every fucked up thing imaginable. 

Steve thought it was over, and then Dustin had him and Robin translating the Russian words he heard over his radio, and they were all pulled back in. 

He wasn’t expecting to fall into the Russian lair under Starcourt Mall, to trauma bond with Robin - of all people - or to get any closer to dying than he already had, but he stopped betting on his expectations a long time ago. 

By the time he saw the night sky again, he couldn’t remember how many punches he’d been thrown.

His head throbbed to the beat of his heart. It felt like if he tapped his temple, his eye would pop right out. His work uniform was ruined, stained with blood and spit, but the smoke billowing from Starcourt ensured that he wouldn't be needing it anymore. 

The events of the night felt like they were years away. All he remembered was running, screaming, crying; he remembered the fist coming toward his face but not the impact. He woke up to pain, and then it was gone - more running and bleeding and fighting and then, it was over. 

Robin sat next to him, shivering, on the back of an ambulance. The lights from the siren were blinding, the noise around him was punching his ear drums. 

“Are we alive?” Robin asked. Her voice was totally shot. 

“Think so.” 

“I want to lay down so bad.” 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Do you have someone to call?” 

She sighed deep. “Not really.” She let it be quiet for only a second, then said, “I don’t really want to go home. To be honest.” 

“You wanna spend the night here?” 

“If I don’t have to be alone, then, yeah.” 

He sighed, too, then patted her knee. 

He said, “I’ll call someone, alright?” and she nodded. 

The payphone was a bit of a walk, and he had to wait behind two people in line, but it was enough time for him to muster up the courage to make the call. Even still, when he had the phone in his hand, all he could do was stare at it. 

He was trying to remember the exact words you said to him the last time he spoke to you. Something like, “I hope I’m the last one you call,” he was sure. It was hard to remember your phrasing now, but the memory still stung all the same. 

And he knows it’s not fair to call you, but he was going to anyway. Because in all honesty, you were the only option he had. 

Any other time, he’d rely on Hopper for a ride. But Hopper wasn’t around anymore. 

So he dialed your number and prayed you hadn’t changed it from the one he knew by heart. 

-

Your hand darted out of your blanket to reach your bedside telephone. The ringing killed your half asleep ears, and you hardly knew what you were doing when you put the receiver to your ear. 

“Hello?” 

You could barely get the word out; your voice was thick with sleep that was slowly creeping over you. 

“Hey. It’s Steve.” 

With your heavy eyes shut, sleep was pulling you back in. Your whole body jumped a little bit when you attempted to stay awake. 

“Steve?” 

“Yeah. I’m sorry for waking you up, but -” 

You didn’t know what was going on, and then you heard sirens on the phone. A jolt of anxiety seared through you at the sound. That’s what got you to wake up - then you realized who you were talking to. 

“Steve?”

“...Yeah.” 

“What - what’s wrong?” 

Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you sat up in bed, holding yourself up with one shaky arm. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and you held your breath until he answered your question. “There was an, uh - accident at Starcourt, and - I don’t know who else to call. I’m sorry, I can’t drive right now and I don’t have anybody else.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Barely.”

You didn’t give your answer a second thought. “I’ll be there in, like, five minutes, okay?” 

You could hear his breath of relief over the phone. “Okay. Thank you.” 

After stealing your mother’s car keys, you stuffed your bare feet into combat boots and ran to the car. Even though you still only had your learners permit, you absolutely floored it to the mall without a single thought in your mind. It was like you were on autopilot, simply doing what you were supposed to, because you were scared. 

You saw plumes of smoke before Starcourt ever came into view, and you swallowed through your dry throat because you knew something bad happened. 

You had to fight through crowds and cops before you were allowed to pass under the police tape to search for Steve, which wasn’t easy. Every face you saw wasn’t his and each second that passed dug a deeper pit in your stomach. 

The second-to-last ambulance in the lineup is where you found him, sitting next to a girl whose head was on his shoulder. 

And when you saw him… it wasn’t him. Your eyes glazed over him because he was hardly recognizable. 

You’d seen him beat up before. He’s had his fair share of fights at school; you wiped blood off his face and helped him nurse black eyes. But it was never like this. 

His left eye was swollen shut. Crimson stained from his eyebrow to his jawline. His skin was aggravated red, his clothes were blood rusted, his knuckles were ripped open. 

And still, somehow, his hair looked perfectly done. That sight alone made you want to laugh and cry at the same time, because of course he managed to keep its style untouched. It was so Steve. 

You ran to him; your legs carried you there on their own, shoelaces smacking against wet pavement. You weren’t thinking when you called out his name or when you flung your arms around his neck. You hugged him like it would heal him, like the scent of your perfume could cover the smoke he smelled of. 

It’d been almost a year since you’d talked to him, and the jagged edges of your ended friendship still cut deep, but you didn’t care. Not when he looked the way he did; not when he was hugging you so tight; not when your tears were dripping onto his skin. 

You pulled back and looked at him, and his wounds didn’t look any better up close. 

“Oh my god, Steve, are you okay? What the hell happened?” 

“I’m alright,” he said. He wouldn’t look at you, or couldn’t bring himself to. “I’m just glad you came. I’m sorry -” 

“Don’t,” you said, and then you looked around at the scene. “Have the paramedics even seen you? Why are you just sitting here?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I - I’m fine. They said I’m fine. They’re all busy with others but - I’m fine, don’t worry.” 

That’s when you noticed the girl next to him, who was looking at you like you were crazy, and you realized what you were potentially barging in on. 

They sat close - too close to be friendly. They were basically cuddling when you first saw them. It was obvious what they were, so of course she was looking at you that way.  

You didn’t mean to make her jealous, but a part of you didn’t care. 

“Are both of you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Steve said, answering for the two of them.  The girl nodded. “This is Robin, by the way.” 

You introduced yourself to her, trying to be cordial even though you were meeting in the worst of situations. 

“You two can stay at my place tonight, if you want to,” you told them. Steve asked Robin if she was okay with that, and she said yes, and so you led them to your car. 

You weren’t sure why you made the offer to Steve - you wanted him with you, sure. After seeing the condition he was in, you wouldn’t sleep unless you knew you were keeping him safe and sound in your own bedroom. 

Old habits die hard.

But, all things considered, you should have just taken him to his own home, where he could be with Robin in peace. Without cut ties lingering in the air like flies. 

You drove him home anyway. 

Nobody spoke until you got to your bedroom. 

“Do you need a shower?” 

“Yeah,” Steve said. Robin nodded. 

“Okay. Robin, you can take my bathroom. Steve can shower downstairs.” 

You dug through bottom drawers to find clothes for each of them - you still had the ones Steve kept stored there, as embarrassing as it was, so it wasn’t a difficult task. And you’d let Robin choose from your pajama drawer.

And then you got back into bed, because you didn’t know what else to do for them. 

Robin stood in the doorway of your bathroom, just staring into the room. When Steve opened your bedroom door, she snapped her head back to him. 

“Steve?” 

“Yeah?” 

She glanced over at you. You wanted to hide from the tension in the room. 

“I - I don’t know how to use this faucet.” 

He showed her how, and then made for the exit, but she called for him again. 

“I was just thinking - you know - if we both shower at the same time, won’t the water pressure be super low? And what if the hot water runs out before I’m done, and -” 

“I’ll be quick, Robs,” he said. “It’ll be fine.” 

Steve took one step into the hallway before stopping. The darkness looked like it went on forever. He didn’t remember your house being so unlit, or having so many hiding places, and suddenly his legs were shaky. 

“...You’re probably right, though. I’ll just wait out here until you’re done.” 

“Yeah. And I’ll keep the door cracked open, for… all the steam.” 

“That’s a good idea.” 

And he sat on the floor right outside of the bathroom door. When Robin was finished, they swapped places. As if they couldn’t be apart for longer than twenty minutes. 

You didn’t ask them any questions.

… 

The two of them slept on a pallet of old blankets on your bedroom floor. Robin made Steve sleep closest to the door. He tried not to be upset about it. 

And he didn’t think he’d be able to sleep, but it seemed to swallow him. He didn’t dream, or toss and turn, but he woke up unrested. 

Everything still hurt just as bad as it did the night before. And Robin’s snoring was making his headache worse. 

You were no longer in bed, so he decided to get up and find you. 

He wasn’t sure what kind of interaction he’d be walking into when he found you in the kitchen, but he tried to keep his head high. 

“Good morning,” he said. 

“Hey.” You had a mug in your hand. “Your eye looks better.” 

“It doesn’t feel any better,” he said, and he wanted to make a joke that it actually looks worse - because when he closes his right eye, everything’s blurry - but he held that one in. He wasn’t ready for a comedic coping mechanism quite yet. 

You put Tylenol on the island that separated the two of you. “Take them. I don’t know if it’ll help much, but it can’t hurt.” 

The bottle said to take two, so he took three. And then the awkward quiet started washing in. 

Until, “I saw what happened on the news,” and Steve almost coughed up the water he was chugging. 

“What are they saying?” he asked, because he didn’t know what story he was supposed to be playing along with. 

“Just talking about the fire,” you said. Your voice sounded so dim, and Steve hated it. “It’s… crazy. Hopper… he…” You couldn’t say the word. 

“I know,” Steve said. 

“And thirty others.” 

His throat felt dry. “Thirty?” 

Truly, he didn’t know that many people hadn’t survived. And now, it all felt real. Really real. 

“Yeah,” you replied. “I’m just glad - you were lucky to get out, Steve.” 

You had no clue how lucky he’d really been. And hopefully you would never have to know. 

“I know.” 

You sat your mug down, brushed your hands on your chest like you were trying to wipe off everything you knew of the accident, then blew out a loud breath. 

“Let’s just think about something else.” 

Almost at the same time as you, he spoke. “Thank you.” 

“...What for?” 

“For coming to my rescue,” he said, huffing a laugh. “I know that I… didn’t really deserve it.” 

“Don’t thank me, Steve.” 

“Seriously. You could’ve just told me to walk home, but you didn’t.” 

“I’m just being a good friend,” you said, then shrugged. “I hope you would do it for me.” 

“In a heartbeat.” 

He wondered if this was his chance to say sorry. 

Or if there was even a point in it. 

He was afraid you’d do no more than laugh in his face, and even if he deserved it he didn’t want to succumb to it. 

But he had to. Because he almost died last night. And he could be fighting those monsters again, any day now. Was he going to lose this chance? Or is he going to die without saying another word to you? 

He stared down at his ripped knuckles. The wounds still looked fresh. They stung just from touching the open air. 

He stared, and stared, and stared, and - he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t say a word. He couldn’t face it. 

Your footsteps toward him made him jump back. 

You were holding a box of band-aids. 

You held out your hand, asking for his without words, and he offered both of them to you. First his right, then his left, were covered in pink, green, and yellow band-aids by you. 

It was gentle and kind, the way you went about it. Like you would hurt him even more if you weren’t careful. 

He still had dried blood under his nails and splinters in his palms. He watched your clean hands holding his beaten up ones and he felt bad, because your skin was too soft to bother with the cuts and calluses on his. 

But you held them anyway. 

He put his fingers through yours and you didn’t stop him. He wanted to cry.

“I’m just glad you're alright.” 

He didn’t know what to say - there wasn’t anything to say, he guessed. Nothing to make it better or change anything. 

All he could do was squeeze your hand and watch you wipe tears off your cheeks. 

Until he noticed a cut on the back of your hand. He pulled it closer so he could get a better look. 

“What happened?” 

“I dropped a knife while I was cooking last night. It’s fine.” 

It looked fine, but Steve wanted to repay your favor, so he pulled a band-aid from the near empty box and put it on your wound. 

“We match,” he said. 

You laughed. “We’re even now.” 

He felt overwhelmed with melancholy. He needed to rest, he wanted to close his eyes and not open them for weeks. 

“I should go check on Robin,” he said as he walked backwards toward the stairs. He kept his eyes to the ground, away from the look on your face. “She’ll flip if she wakes up and she’s alone.” 

You said nothing. 

… 

The following days and weeks were a lot of checking on Robin, and Robin checking on him. Too much waking up in the middle of the night and keeping his eyes glued to his bedroom door just in case. Only feeling safe enough if he had a baseball bat hugged to his chest and Robin snoring next to him. 

So - he wasn’t doing well, but it was fine. He tried not to complain about it. Robin was the only person he let himself be half honest with - but he kept the truth to himself, because she’d get anxious if he said what he really felt. 

Steve was scared. And he didn’t want anyone else to know it, because all of the others acted as if their lives were perfectly back to normal. They were doing well. So he had to be doing well, too. For their sake. 

Weeks after that awful night at the mall, he and Robin conned their way into getting jobs at Family Video. He was grateful, because god, he was too codependent on her. 

It was a random night at his place when Robin brought you up out of nowhere. 

“I just realized, I never thanked your neighbor for saving us that night.” 

“You don’t need to. I’m sure she knows you’re thankful.” 

“Yeah, but, I feel like I should pay her back.” 

Steve shrugged at her words. He didn’t want to think about you more than he had to - it hurt just a little bit too much. 

“Should I give her a gift?” 

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “She likes cookies. Get her cookies.” 

And Steve didn’t know it, but the next day, Robin rang your doorbell with a plastic box of cookies in her hands. You opened the door and she started rambling from the get. 

“Hey - Steve said you like cookies, so, I decided I’d bring you some to thank you. For showing up at Starcourt in the middle of the night and practically saving our lives. And for letting us sleep on your floor. That was really nice of you.” 

You didn’t know what to say. Robin seemed weird. You just went along with it. 

“Oh - thanks. That’s cool. Thanks.” 

She shoved them toward you, and you took them. 

“Do you want to come in?” you asked.

Instead of answering, she just stepped through the door. You brought her to the kitchen. 

“I hope they’re good. I just got them at the corner store. But all cookies are the same, right?” 

“Well - no, but, it’s the thought that counts.” 

“Oh.” 

The gifted cookies didn’t look much better than the worst recipes you’d made,  but you opened the crude packaging and gave them a chance. 

They were fine. Maybe a little worse than fine. You gave Robin one, anyway. 

“They’re good!” she said, with a mouth full. 

“They are,” you lied. “They’re not homemade, but they’ll do. Thanks, Robin.” 

You ate half of your cookie. Robin finished hers. It was quiet. 

You figured you might as well try to get to know this girl a bit better. At least be polite and make small talk, just to be nice. 

So you asked an easy question. “How long have you and Steve been together?” 

But it wasn’t as simple as you thought, because she started coughing up the cookie. “What do you mean?” 

“...What?” 

“We’re not together,” she said with a heavy dose of sass. “God, I’ll never get over people asking me that. I am not dating Steve Harrington. Gross.” 

“Oh - sorry, I just thought -” 

“It’s fine,” she said. “Everyone always asks. I guess a guy and a girl can’t be friends without everyone making assumptions.” 

You laughed. “Yeah. People used to do the same thing to us. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask a weird question.” 

“It’s alright. Actually, I’m supposed to be at his place in, like - well, ten minutes ago. You should come over if you're free.” 

“Uh - I don’t know, me and Steve - we don’t really hang out anymore.” 

You aren’t sure why you didn’t just make up an excuse. Something about Robin made you feel okay about being honest. 

“It’s cool. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you. It’s kind of been just us since what happened with - the fire. The fire that happened. So - you know. It’d be nice to have someone else around. If you want.” 

You were curious how this would turn out. So, “sure. I’ll come.” 

“Great. You should bring a cookie for Steve.” 

You brought the whole box, and decided you would accidentally forget them at his place so they wouldn’t go to waste. 

Steve’s front door was yanked open from the inside before Robin could let herself in, and his wide eyes became a little less wide when he saw her. 

“Where the fuck were you - you were supposed to be here half an hour ago, I thought you got fucking eaten or something.” 

“Relax. I was just making a cookie delivery next door. Chill.” 

Robin threw her thumb over her shoulder. You poked your head out from behind her and gave Steve a weak wave.

“Oh.” 

“What exactly would she get eaten by?” 

“I don’t know,” Steve shrugged. You noticed he was gripping his car keys in a tight, scarred fist. 

“Monsters,” Robin joked. Steve didn’t laugh. You did a little bit. “I invited her over. Is that alright?” 

“Yeah. Of course.” 

You stuck to Robin all the way to his living room, because that was easier than making yourself comfortable. You hadn’t been in this house in ages, and you weren’t sure what to do with yourself. 

“Where’s my crossword?” 

“I finished it.” 

“Asshole. You know I hate that. Just get your own.” 

“Whatever, you suck at them, anyway.” 

Robin, unlike you, had no reservations in the Harrington house. She kicked her feet up and started channel surfing as soon as she sat on the couch. 

“Have a cookie,” Robin said to Steve. You reached the box out to him; he sat down next to you to take one, taking up the spot between you and Robin.  

It was weird being so close to him again. His knee was touching yours, and it made your skin feel too hot. Still, you didn’t move away. 

“These are shit,” he said with a full mouth. 

“Hey!” 

You laughed loud, because you completely agreed. 

“No, seriously, these are awful.” 

“I spent five dollars on those!” 

You gasped. “Five? Robin.” 

“You should have just given her the money instead. Or thrown it in the trash.” Steve dropped his half eaten cookie back in the box. You put the plastic lid back on and sat it on the coffee table. 

“I thought they were good. You’re being so rude right now. They were a gift.” 

Steve looked at you. “You didn’t tell her how bad they are?” 

“I didn’t - I don’t think they’re that bad.” 

“You’re lying,” Steve laughed, then he turned to Robin. “She’s lying.” 

“I’m not lying!” 

“I know you, and I know you’re lying.” 

“It’s fine, guys, you don’t have to spare my feelings or anything.” 

You sighed, defeated. “...They are pretty terrible.” 

Robin scoffed loud and obnoxious. 

“Whatever. I’ll enjoy them.” 

… 

As it turns out, Robin acted like glue between you and Steve. Neither of you would have ever made an effort to see each other again, out of embarrassment or guilt or both, but Robin didn’t have to unpack any of that baggage. She didn’t even know it existed. 

Instead, she immediately saw you as a friend. And she brought you in like she had known you forever. 

But Robin and Steve were a package deal. So, if you were a friend to her, you had to be a friend to him, too.

And the two of them were weird. Most of the time, they left you feeling like a third wheel on their friendship. 

They could be mean to each other. Rough. They acted the exact way you knew siblings do, but that was only surface level. There was something deeper - more than anything a brother and sister had, because it wasn’t the blood in their veins that connected them. It was the roots they chose to grow into each other that kept them together. 

Robin spent the night with Steve more often than she didn’t. And she bullied him for his bad cooking, and he told her when an outfit was ugly, and they stood next to each other like two puzzle pieces that didn’t match but fit together with a hard press. 

Sometimes you sat on the sidelines and ached, mourning a friendship that had been buried some odd years ago. It was well beyond rotten - something decayed and unrecognizable now. Even if you dug it up, it couldn’t be the same as it was. 

But you wished. 

And as you sat and listened to Robin chastise Steve for saying something dumb - watched as he meddled her hair into a purposeful mess, you could only laugh and sink into yourself. You were happy and sad; you cherished your time together and dreaded it, all at the same time. 

Above it all, Steve was different. Distant in the way he would never meet your eyes, or laugh too loud at your jokes, or sit too close for too long. 

It all felt fleeting. Like that week you spent angry at him - stuck in a weird limbo, between friends and strangers, a frustrating purgatory. Some kind of Schrodinger’s Cat of a friendship - alive and dead at the same time. 

You would have just said something, if it felt like you could. But if Steve minded, he didn’t show it. If he missed how things were, he didn’t act like it. And, as you knew him, if he wanted to he would. 

And it wasn’t totally bad. It was just new. You’d get used to it with a spoonful of sugar and a hard swallow. 

On a random day, you had mentioned off-hand that you had been meaning to visit your aunt’s apartment to drop off and pick up a few things. Steve offered to take you, and you agreed, and the next day, you made good on your plans. 

The two of you didn’t hang out without Robin very often. Since early August, the number was hardly a handful. But with the radio turned on, it wasn’t too awkward. 

Steve had visited your aunt with you several times growing up. He went to her house-warming party when she moved into her apartment. You were thirteen, and you made a game of pressing every button in the elevator before getting off it. Now, every time you’re there, you think about how you used to chase him down the halls. 

Her place was the nicest there was in Hawkins, in the tallest residential building in town. Parking was a nightmare, but Steve kept his complaints under his breath, and he even carried your bag for you. 

The elevator was the only thing in the apartment’s lobby. As you pressed the button, Steve spoke up. 

“You wanna take the stairs instead?” 

“Why?” 

He shrugged. You laughed. 

“You want to climb eight flights of stairs? No thanks.” 

“I’m an athlete,” he mumbled under his breath, sheepish. “This thing is taking forever, anyways.” 

It dinged as it finally started moving down toward the bottom floor.

“It’s on its way.” 

He stepped back, looked around, and he must have spotted the stairwell. “I’ll race you,” and then he took off. 

The elevator door opened as the stairway’s door closed, and you rode to the top floor alone. 

He didn’t win the race - far from it, and you laughed as he tried to hide his struggling breathing. 

“Been waiting for you all day, athlete. Thought you’d take ‘til Christmas.” 

“Psh. Whatever. I’ll win on the way down.”

The elevator creaked and hummed as it started moving down, and Steve glared at it. 

You laughed, “You’re weird,” and you left him behind to walk down the hall. 

He worked fast to catch up, and called out, “The loser pays for dinner!” 

“You know I’d never pass up that bet.” 

Your aunt wasn’t home - she rarely was. But a key was under the mat, and as you walked inside her tuxedo cat, Webster, greeted you at the door. 

“Hey, dude,” Steve said, kneeling down to pet him. 

An old cardboard box sat on the dining table nearby, “Glassware” written on the side in crude permanent marker. It’s what you had been instructed to pick up and take back home - you weren’t sure what was inside.

You sat down and opened it and pulled out the first thing you saw: a white paper bag, one you knew printed photos came in. 

“This what you came for?” 

Steve stood next to you. He had Webster in his arms, who was purring loud and melting into his hand. 

“Yeah.” 

“What is it?” 

“I don’t know. Family stuff, I’m guessing.” You pulled out a fat stack of pictures and the one on top made you bark a laugh. “Oh my god.” 

You and Steve, seven years old, wearing matching cowboy costumes for Halloween - you with a white cowboy hat, him with a black one. You stood with a jack-o-lantern between you. You had your hands on your hips and a frown on your face; Steve had his chin pushed out in a wicked scowl. 

You turned it to him, and he laughed just as loud as you. “Look at those two mean mugs!” 

“Do you remember this?” 

He sat in the chair next to you, continuing to look at the photo over your shoulder. Webster made himself comfortable in his lap. 

“Yeah,” he laughed, “We fought all night because you stole my -”

“Oh my god.”

“You stole my full size Snickers.”

“I did not!” 

“You did.” 

“I didn’t!” 

The way he looked at you told you this was still a sore subject. 

“You went ahead of me to the Smith’s place while I was trying to tie my shoe and you took her last bar. That’s what happened!” 

“That’s not stealing!” 

“It is!”

“I didn’t mean to leave you behind! It’s not my fault you didn’t know how to tie your shoes!” 

“You didn’t, either. And, I learned before you.” 

You puffed a sigh and flipped the photo to the back of the stack. “Why are you still fighting over this? We shared all the candy, anyway.” 

“It’s the principle. Theft is a crime, and you never apologized.” 

You only laughed. No way were you giving him that apology now. 

When you pulled the photos out of the box, you didn’t intend on looking through them all, but your curiosity kept you flicking through them. Most were of random family members or photos of the beach, but pictures of you and Steve were littered throughout the stack. There wasn’t a single photo of you that didn’t have him in it, too.

There were from some first days of school, birthday parties, sleepovers. They were sorted somewhat chronologically - looking through them was pure nostalgia, memories hitting you at every angle as you watched yourself grow up. 

The next one to catch your eye was from a middle school dance. Neither of you wanted to attend, but your mother insisted. Your one condition was that you could wear whatever you wanted. 

So you and Steve had swapped styles. You wore his way oversized Atlanta Flames jersey, a baseball cap, and sneakers that didn’t fit; he had on your purple sweater, a big pearl necklace, and white jeans. 

It was cute, and it was goofy, and you wished you could jump into the picture and relive it. 

At that age, the only thing you knew was that you and Steve would live forever, together. Now that you know what you know, your heart ached for the little girl in these pictures. What would she think about the space between you two now? 

There were pictures from summer camp, swimming pools, and your first day of high school. 

Webster meowed. Steve meowed back at him. 

As you got to the bottom of the stack, pictures of the two of you were less and less. The last one - the one you didn’t know would be your last picture with him - was of you, him, and a few of your extended family members. A day spent at the lake that Steve really didn’t want to go to, for some reason only an angsty teenage boy could understand, that you dragged him to. It was the summer before your junior year.

In the photo, his arm was draped completely over your shoulder. You remembered him leaning all of his weight on you - to the point that you fell out of your seat after the picture was taken by your aunt.

And you had fun, like you always did. Steve became a member of your family out of happenstance. It was just because he was always around, really. They all saw him as much as they saw you. 

You put that photo to the back of the stack and kept carding through them. You didn’t find any more pictures of you and Steve. 

The rest were all more recent. Steve stopped you on one that was of you alone - sat at a dinner table, wearing a cable knit sweater. 

“That’s a good one,” he said. 

“Yeah. It’s from Christmas. Senior year, maybe.” 

You acted like you weren’t sure, but you knew exactly when that photo was taken. You just didn’t want him to know how sad you were in it. 

“Oh, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” and you laughed, “this was not a fun party.” He didn’t reply, and so you kept talking, sparing him a shy glance. “Everyone kept asking where you were.” 

The silence was heavier this time. 

“Oh,” he said, trying to bury it. “Yeah.” An awkward chuckle. “I bet that was annoying.” 

You laughed and tried to make it sound real - tried to seem like you didn’t care. “Yeah, well, you know how my family always liked you better.” 

He shrugged, looking like he was going to make a joke, but he didn’t. His eyes were distant as they moved down to his lap. 

You shoved the picture to the back with the rest. 

The one behind it was just as lonely. 

Still, Steve perked up at it. “Is that from graduation?” 

You wore a cap and gown, you held a bouquet of flowers, and you stood all alone. 

“Yeah.” 

Steve’s hand wrapped around yours holding the picture, and he tilted it toward him so he could get a better look. 

“My aunt kept trying to get me to find you for a picture,” you laughed. 

“You should’ve.” He smiled something big and real, and you realized with a rush that this is the closest you’d been to him in a while. If you kept looking, you could count the freckles on his cheek. His thumb pressed into the back of your hand. “I remember seeing you. You looked real cute.” 

You ignored his compliment to say something snide. “I ignored you so hard.” 

Another laugh, “Really?” 

“Obviously.” 

“Yeah. That’s fair - I would’ve, too.” 

You tried not to think about how badly you wished he was standing next to you in the picture. 

Steve spoke up, “I -” but you cut him off by accident. 

“It’s fine.” 

You didn’t mean it. He could tell.

“...Is it?” 

It was honest when you replied, “I don’t know.” 

He was still holding your hand. 

“I never told you I’m sorry.” 

“I guess I just figured you were.” 

You dropped the pictures on the table, dropping his hand with them.

“Is that good enough?” It was an honest question. 

“I don’t know. Maybe it is.” 

And your answer was genuine, because you didn’t know. Steve had come back into your life just as easily as he left it - on a whim, without any warning. You didn’t put any roadblocks in his way. 

But you stared at the photos spread out in front of you. At the story they told of your friendship that would always be unfinished. 

You had to teach yourself how to do life without him. All of those lessons seemed useless, now, because here he was. And you didn’t even know if he ever missed you. 

You pulled away from him, a move that was far more snappy than you meant. You did it like he’d reached out and burned you. It had Webster jumping down to the floor. 

“It’s fine,” you repeated. 

“I think you’re lying just to make me feel better.” 

“I don’t know why I’m lying.” 

“We don’t have to talk about it now,” he mumbled, and you stood up. The chair scraped the floor in a way that grated your ears. You turned your back to him. 

“I thought I knew you.” Your eyes welled up, your nose started to run. You balled your hands up like you were on defense. “I thought you would say sorry, and make everything go back to normal like you always did. But you didn’t. I thought you would miss me, at least, but - but you didn’t.” 

“You think I didn’t miss you?” 

The shake in his voice had your fist dropping to hit your thighs, defeated. 

“I miss you more than anything. I’m sorry - I’m not just saying it to make you feel better, or because I have to, I - I don’t even deserve to be saying it.” He paused, and you could imagine the way he was running his hands through his hair and pacing around with nerves. “I’m sorry for being a bad friend. For not treating you like you deserved - I hate myself for it. You were the best thing in my life, and I know that now. I was just too scared to come crawling back to you because I wasn’t worth your time.”

You breathed in deep, exhaled hard, and it felt like the first breath you had taken in two years. It was that feeling when you’ve forgotten your keys but find the door unlocked - the relief of being let in despite a mistake, it rushed through you, and it had you turning to look at him. You found him standing and staring at you, through you, with glassy eyes you would always know. 

“I just miss you, Steve.” 

Three steps and then he was around you. And you were safer than a child hiding under their blanket from whatever lurked in their closet - monsters weren’t real if his arms were around you. That had always, always been true. 

Webster rubbed up against your leg, then Steve’s. The hug shook with both of your laughter, and he held you tighter. 

… 

Things didn’t go back to how they used to be after that, but it was close enough. And you were trying to settle into the differences that kept knocking you off your feet. 

It started with late night phone calls. 

Before, you never talked on the phone. Why would you when his house was a stone throw away? If you wanted to talk, you’d invite yourself to his place. 

But the two of you were still dancing on the ripped edges of that two year old fight. Wounds were still healing - almost there, but not quite. So it was easier to take it slow, to treat this time as something brand new. 

And it was brand new. 

You had caught yourself grinning ear to ear over stories he’d tell you, and you had to force the smile off your face. Like you shouldn’t be acting that way over your friend - you quickly realized you just couldn’t help it. 

He’d keep you up too late and tease you for it the next day. And you weren’t sure if he was trying to get a rise out of you, but that’s how you felt. He acted so smug after seeing your cheeks swell in embarrassment. 

So it wasn’t going back to how it was before. In fact, it was going down an entirely different road - one that wasn’t even on the map. 

You weren’t complaining, because you felt things you hadn't felt before around him. He made you feel warm, and you were addicted to it. You were addicted to him, and you had blind hope that the feeling was mutual. 

He’d spend his entire lunch break visiting you, even if your breaks didn’t line up. He’d follow you around the apparel section at Roses and you’d have all your attention on him, just the way he liked it. He made sure to see you every day.

You never thought he’d make you feel so shy, but it was an emotion you couldn’t get enough of. You hardly realized what you were spiraling into until you’d catch him looking at you with a blush on his cheeks, or until you had to stop yourself from thinking about him every night before bed. 

But there was something glaring, something major, something you couldn’t look at directly until it came up in conversation with Robin. 

Robin and Steve always had Sundays off, so the day was designated to be stolen by their other friends - who were all in junior high. 

When you asked why they were friends with junior high kids, Steve called himself their babysitter. Robin said she was their good influence. You avoided asking follow up questions. 

It was a lazy autumn day, one where the warmth of fallen leaves reflected in the air - something rare for early November. 

The youngest of the kids, Erica, loved putting on a nice outfit and going for a walk. Today it was yellow Chucks, a red silk and pleated maxi skirt, and a long sleeve button up with a rainbow of vertical stripes. (It would have been a tie dyed short sleeve, if Steve hadn’t told her it was too chilly for it.) She had stuck gems beside her eyes, the kind that come in the plastic packets and don’t stay on for long, and Robin packed yellow eyeshadow on her eyelids. 

She was downright cute, but if you told the eleven year old that she’d aim her sass at you and shoot to kill. She much preferred receiving a refined compliment, because, “I hear that all the time.” 

Today, you told her you loved the way she paired so many colors together. She grinned something beautiful and kicked her foot up behind her and agreed with you. 

Steve had once described her as a menace - you didn’t understand why. 

You walked with Robin a few feet behind Erica, Dustin, and Steve. Dustin had not stopped talking the whole time, except when Erica butted in. Steve had stolen the younger boy’s thinking cap hat and was wearing it backwards. 

“The last time I wore this coat, I found two phone numbers in the pocket.” Robin held up two fingers and gestured to the Letterman jacket she wore. It was Steve’s. “Can you believe that? I mean, what a douche. I wouldn’t even wear this if it wasn’t so warm.” 

You laughed. “Yeah, I believe it, actually. They were probably from some cheerleaders or something.”

“Yeah, well, he can’t get any numbers these days. He’s cursed to be forever lame as punishment for the jerk he was in high school.” Robin was smirking wicked and wide, like it was satisfying for her. 

“He’s lost all his charm?” 

“All of it. I mean, one hundred percent. I used to keep count of how many times he fell on his face in front of girls. It’s magnificent, truly.” Then, quieter, “He’ll get it back, though. One day.” 

“He used to have no trouble at all.” The conversation had the gears in your head turning; it had you speaking without thinking. “I don’t know. He’s really different now.” 

Robin laughed, like you were joking. “Yeah, he learned manners, for one.” 

“It’s not that.” You were thinking out loud. “He’s nicer, yeah, but… it’s almost like he’s not even the same person. I’m not sure what happened.” 

The Steve you knew was boisterous. He was unapologetic. He was stupidly confident, the life of the party, and he wasn’t afraid of anything. A wouldn’t take no for an answer, go with the flow, drop of the hat kind of person. 

You were lucky to know him when that’s all he was. Before the halls of Hawkins High swallowed him and spit out someone ornery who cared too much but not at all. 

You thought it was just Tommy and Carol’s influence. Now that he wasn’t their friend anymore, you thought he’d become who he used to be. 

“He told me how close you two were before,” Robin said. She was tugging on a strand of hair that was stuck in her lip gloss. “I guess I never knew him like you did.” 

“He’s so quiet now. He used to be so loud.” You meant it more than literally - you hoped Robin would understand. “I don’t know. So much changed and it’s only been a couple years.” 

It seemed like she was struggling to reply, because it took her more than a few seconds to get her words out. 

“I guess - I mean - I think you’ve probably changed a lot, too. Two years is a long time, right?” 

Robin knew. No one could tell, but she knew. 

Maybe the differences that you had described of Steve were really there. She wasn’t able to see them the way you could, but she didn’t care. It was selfish to admit that she would never change a thing about him - but one. 

He was waiting. 

Everyone was, she thinks. 

Waiting for another fight. 

It wasn’t easy to go back to normal after trudging through hell. It was like coming out the other side of trench warfare unharmed - you didn’t. When a gun fires, its bullets hit. If a bomb is dropped it doesn’t miss a fucking thing, and Starcourt Mall was goddamn ground zero. 

And Robin wasn’t there for the disappearance of Will Byers. The death of Barbra Holland. The Upside Down. The Demogorgon. The Demodogs, and the lab, and the girl with psychic powers. She wasn’t there, but Steve was. 

Her head hurt just thinking of the stories he’s told her. And she knew his did, too, more often than he’d admit to her.

And she felt bad when her sleeping patterns went back to normal but his didn’t. When she got used to being on edge all the time, Steve still jumped at any noise. His phone would ring and she would watch him prepare himself to answer it - to hear Dustin’s voice on the line telling him that it’s back. 

So when you said that Steve’s changed, Robin didn’t know what to tell you. You were right, and she knew that, but she couldn’t tell you why. You knew everything about him besides, well - everything. 

Robin wished she didn’t have to know, either. She wanted to tell you that you should be grateful you couldn’t see the shackles on his ankles. You got to know him before - and Robin would give anything for that. 

But she couldn’t change a thing. 

Instead, all she could do was wait. 

And lie. 

And pretend. 

“He’s still loud,” she said, uncomfortable as all get out. 

As if he heard her words, Steve busted out in a stomach hurting kind of laughter at one of Dustin’s stories. 

“See what I mean?” 

Your destination was in sight now. Steve turned around - letting Dustin steal his hat back - walking backwards, and reached a hand out to you. 

“You coming?” 

Your pace turned into a skipping sort of jog to catch up with him. When you were close enough he grabbed your hand and didn’t let go. He’d been doing that often. 

The kids and Robin broke away, heading for the tiny park that was up on your right. To your left, Steve tugged you to a tiny convenience store.

“Place your orders!” he called. 

Dustin and Erica shouted at the same time. Steve mumbled something about not being able to understand them, so you relayed their messages. 

“You’re getting two things! No more than that!” he shouted back. “Robin?”

“7-Up.”

“What else?” 

“Surprise me!” 

You hung onto his arm as you walked into the store, and you weren’t even sure why. He never pulled away when you got that close, so you kept going back. 

You went for the drink coolers first. He reached for the apple juice. 

“She likes orange juice the best, now,” you said. 

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” 

“You better be right - if she’s mad at me over this, I’ll be mad at you.” 

You rounded up all the snacks everyone wanted, following Steve’s only two items rule. You laughed when he chose plain potato chips as Robin’s surprise - the blandest possible choice. And while he checked out at the counter, you wandered off into the aisles. 

He acted like he didn’t want you to go, pulling you back and asking a quiet, “where’re you going?” 

“To look around.” 

It was straight to the candy aisle for a Blow Pop for Erica, Pop Rocks for Dustin, and sour gummy worms to share. You liked spoiling them - it helped to get on their good side. 

You made a stop at the candy bars to grab a Snickers bar before going back to the counter, and Steve immediately shook his head when he saw you. 

“What are you doing? What’s all that?” 

“It’s all for me.” You dropped it all for the clerk to scan. 

“All of it?” 

“Yeah.”

“Even though you said you didn’t want anything?” 

“I changed my mind!” 

He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, and you watched his hand move to his back pocket. 

“Don’t you dare.” 

His wallet was half way out of his pocket as he laughed. “What?” 

“You’re not paying. Stop.” You tried to sound mad, and felt you were doing a good job, but he kept giggling at you. 

“Oh, are you my boss now?” 

“Yes, Steve,” and you bumped into him, trying to push him away. “Don’t make me say your full name.” 

“Just let me -” 

“Take their things to them! Go!” 

You were shocked when he listened, but he only made it as far as the door. He stood against the glass with his arms crossed, staring at you until you finally followed him. 

“What are you looking at?” 

He pushed his back into the door to open it. “Trying to figure it out.” He reached for your hand, and you swatted it away, only for him to catch you, anyway. And you let him hold your hand, all the way across the street to the park. 

Your friends sat at a picnic table waiting patiently. It was actually two tables pushed together, doubling the normal length; Erica and Dustin sat opposite each other on one end, and Robin sat in the middle, crisscrossed on top of the table. 

Steve divvied snacks to grabby hands, and you snuck their surprise treats in to the sound of thank yous. 

You took your seat on the other end of the table across from Steve. When you sat down, he put a bottle of Coke between you. 

“Are you going to share?” you asked. 

“Only if you’ve got something to give me in return.” 

The Snickers bar made a thud on the wooden table. Steve hummed. “I guess that’s good enough.” 

You were almost happy with the trade until you realized, “No bottle opener?” 

His eyes doubled their size. “Shit.” Then, he grabbed the bottle. “No, it's a twist off.” The noise he made as he tried taking off the cap was something like a squeak, and everyone at the table laughed. 

“Just walk back to the store!” 

“Dustin - Dustin! Do you -” 

The boy slid a large key ring down the table. It was a wad of keys, keychains, and gadgets. 

“It’s on there somewhere.” 

There was a mini flashlight, a laser pointer, a plastic Q*bert charm, a pocket knife, keys and keys and keys, a kubaton, and, “Yes!” a bottle opener. 

“This is why I keep you around, Henderson.” 

“I’m the one keeping you guys around, first of all.” 

You grabbed the Coke and guzzled a couple drinks worth in one go, and when you put it back down, Steve had already eaten half the candy bar in one bite. 

“Steve!” 

His mouth was full when he said, “What?” 

“Why can’t you share? Why didn’t anyone ever teach you about sharing?” His laugh was sweeter than the chocolate he was shoving into your face. “Stop, I don’t wanna eat after you.” 

“We’ve got the same germs,” he said, and he was feeding you the Snickers before you could make another argument. 

The snacks were all gone much quicker than it took to walk and get them, because none of you would ever learn to savor the destination. Regardless, next Sunday, you’d all be sitting in the same spot - give or take a few others, creating a good day for yourselves. 

And, if you were lucky, Steve would be holding your hand the whole time. 

...

It didn’t matter who you were cheering for on the court, you hated high school basketball games. 

Going to Lucas’s game brought back far too many memories than you’d care to recollect. But even though you hated it, you were still filled with pride watching the boy play the game so well. 

And Steve hadn’t shut up about it all night. He spoke about Lucas shooting the buzzer beating winning basket like he was recounting a grand story - something from a movie or a comic book. Like you weren’t sitting beside him the entire time. 

You stood with him in his kitchen, and the excitement had finally started to settle. You and Steve had spent far too long talking about how weird it was to be back in the high school gym, and both of you agreed that you didn’t miss it at all. 

“Is Robin excited for spring break?” 

Steve rolled his eyes. “She said she’s spending the entire week here so she can be as lazy as she wants, so - I guess she is.” 

You threw a weak fist into his shoulder and he caught it. “What’s wrong with that?” 

“She’s gonna steal all my time!” His grin was contagious as he slotted his fingers into yours. “And that means I can’t steal all of yours.” 

“Does that mean I’m finally getting a break from you?” You laughed, but he didn’t. 

It was weird, the way his entire demeanor changed in a snap. Before you could even take back the joke you made he was shifting his eyes and dropping his grin. 

He had always worn his heart on his sleeve, even if he tried hiding it. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Yeah.” It was a hand through his hair that said the opposite, but you’d never call out his tells. “I just - that reminded me there was actually something I wanted to talk to you about.” He dropped your hand to cross his arms, and it had you feeling nervous.

“What about? …Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, honey.” You weren’t sure when that nickname came around, or when it started to stick, but it had a fairy fluttering its wings in your chest. He started to reach for you again, you could see it, but he stopped himself. “You could never do anything wrong.” 

You laughed quiet. “Neither could you.” 

You moved to stand next to him, mirroring the way his back leaned against the counter. Your arm pressed to his. He was looking at the floor; you were looking at him. 

“Are you sure?” It started as a whisper but jumped into a shake, a crack in his voice that said more than he wanted to. And he looked at you, to see if you caught it, and you swore his eyes were shining. He didn’t show them to you for longer than a moment. 

“Steve?”

“I just - I don’t want to fuck this up again.” 

“How would that even happen?” 

He looked at you like he knew something you didn’t. “I don’t know.” 

You nudged his arm with your elbow, again and again, until his crossed arms dropped. Your pointer finger snaked around his, and the touch brought enough bravery out of him to link his fingers with yours. 

“What do you know?”

He scoffed into a smile, one big enough to reach his eyes, and it brought him out of his funk. “I don’t know,” he said, moving closer to you as he made the joke. 

“That’s what I thought,” you replied. “Not a thought going on in your head.” 

Making him laugh was the key to his heart - you knew that, and it worked this time as well as it always had. 

He had his head turned, cheek to shoulder, staring down at you; you were so close, you could watch his eyes move across your face and know where he was looking. They wandered, but when his gaze lingered on your lips - you noticed. 

“I know one thing for sure,” he said.

When you took a loud breath, you’re sure he heard. He gave you eye contact again, and maybe you were seeing things, but you swore you saw question marks swimming in the green. 

He didn’t breathe. You didn’t blink. You moved forward just a hair, and he looked back down, so you pressed on. You wanted to be closer, as close as you could get - it was curiosity or desperation, you didn’t know. 

When he tilted his chin toward you, it was hardly noticeable. But you saw it, and it was enough. Your nose was just about to touch his - you watched his eyes close, right before yours did. There was nothing to do but move closer, closer, closer. 

And then, when you felt just the softest graze of his skin on yours - 

BAM! BAM! BAM!

You jumped back from each other like same-side magnets, gasping and jumping at the sound of loud knocks on the front door. 

He moved fast, like he was looking for a way out, leaving you alone in the kitchen. “Shit.”

Steve had a good idea of who he’d see when he opened the door. The knob was jingling when he unlocked it, then pulled it open. 

Sure enough, Robin. Wearing a flannel that was his, with wild bedhead that he couldn’t help laughing at. 

“Did you walk here?” 

“Yeah,” she croaked. “Let me in.” 

It was written all over her face why she was there, and Steve felt bad. 

Even though she asked to come in, she didn’t move. Her features were all scrunched up, her shoulders were hunched into her crossed arms. 

“Robin -” 

“I fucking hate this.” Loud, echoing into the night and through his door. “I hate it, Steve, and I swear - I swear it’s not over.” Her eyes wet her cheeks; she looked at him through tears. “It’s going to happen again. I can feel it. And I’m scared.” 

He had to pull her inside, because he knew she’d stand in the same spot all night if he didn’t. She pushed into him, shoving her face into his shoulder, wiping her tears on his shirt. 

“You just need to rest,” he told her.

She spoke something pitiful, not caring that her words were muffled. “The gate’s really closed, right? For sure?” 

“It’s over, Robin, it was just a nightmare - you just need some good sleep, alright?” 

She nodded, wiped her runny nose into her sleeve, and tried pulling her tears back in. 

“I wish I could sleep anywhere else.” 

“I know.” It wasn’t any sort of jab - it was just the truth. The only time she was truly afraid was when she slept alone. 

She hit a fist into his chest, something playful that made things feel a little more okay, and then took herself to the stairs. 

“I’ll be up in a minute to stand guard,” he joked. She barely laughed but it was enough, and he watched her until he couldn’t see her anymore. 

And he hoped you hadn’t heard anything, because he wouldn’t be able to answer any questions you had. When he found you in the kitchen you looked nothing but concerned. 

“Is she okay?” 

All you knew was that she had nightmares about the mall fire. It was a realistic excuse, in comparison to the unbelievable truth. 

“Yeah. You know how she is.” 

You nodded. Steve wasn’t sure how to go back to the talk you were having before, so he avoided it. 

You spoke first. “I hope she’s alright.”

“I should probably go be with her,” he said. 

You were perfectly okay with it, understanding as always. “Yeah. She needs you.” 

He walked you to the door, and it was too brief for his taste. But when you were there, he spoke up. 

“I’m sorry. Can we finish this tomorrow, maybe? I promise - I… I really did want to talk.” 

“Of course,” you said, and it was shy. “Don’t be sorry, Steve, she’s more important right now. We can talk any time.” 

His arms wrapped around your shoulders for a crushing hug. “I’ll call you in the morning, okay? Before work. We can make plans then.” 

And that was it - he watched you make your walk home until you walked into your front door, and that was it. 

The moment was ruined, and he might not be able to make it happen again. 

… 

Steve didn’t call you the next morning. 

-

-

-

part two!!!!

[wheatnoodle]

most things are the same in s4 except steve has a daughter that was dropped on his doorstep before he got his scoops job.

so instead of eddie having to listen to dustin, mike, and lucas (and max if she’s around) going on and on about steve, they’re blabbing about steve and rosie.

eddie has no fuckin idea who rosie is and she’s apparently coming to pick up the kids, but dustin is clearly excited.

“dude, rosie’s coming today. do you know how hard it is to get him to bring her? he always leaves her with robin!” which, okay, since when does robin buckley hang out with steve harrington?

and mike and dustin are arguing over who gets rosie while lucas just hopes this means he get shotgun.

eddie tries to ask his friends, his og friends, who this “rosie” might be. jeff hoesntly couldn’t care less, gareth thinks it’s a new girlfriend, and grant has some big idea about her being an undercover spy disguised as a supermodel. that’s the only time jeff will chime in with a “she’s probably just a friend”.

and then it’s 7pm and a maroon beamer is pulling into the parking lot. steve gets out of the car and like always, he goes inside to collect his boys.

but this time there’s a baby on his hip.

chubby cheeks and rolls galore and a huge toothless smile. brown curls and big brown eyes. dude, eddie’s shocked enough already. but then dustin runs over, shouting her name.

“rosieeeee!!!!” and he grabs her under the armpits, steals her from steve and spins her around. lucas goes to say hi to his babysitter, mike waits for his turn to hold the baby.

eddie is left to stand there and pick his jaw up off the floor before he starts collecting flies because why the fuck does steve harrington have a baby? and why does it make him hotter?