Tumgik
#back to the feeling bad thing. mghh its like
laikahh · 6 months
Text
i wanna go to sleep so bad but my throat is sore as fuckk and its making me feel like shit
#day summary umm. i felt bad ? also played the sims from morning til like 4 or 5 pm#woke up at 6 btw#dad made dinner. it was good cause of course it was hes a great cook#i wanna be as good as him someday#back to the feeling bad thing. mghh its like#im worried that hes (guy ive pissing and shitting my pants over for the past month or five) like. seeing my posts#cause like. man. ive been saying some really mean stuff about him lately havent i? and like. been making all of this about myself#when like. hes the guy whos moving away. hes the one thats in a super stressful situation rn#with the Everything i am not going to talk about cause he deserves some privacy. i dont have it nearly as bad#i dont have it bad at all !!! what the fuck am i even upset about. some fucking ''abandonment'' i Made Up#im not being abandoned what im going through is like. collateral damage. but like not even.#im just. worried that hes seeing all this. seeing me be like this. and that he doesnt like it#and now he doesnt know how to like. even approach talking to me again. or something like that i dont know !!!#what am i even upset about. he gave me some of the best memories ill ever have and made me feel like im alive#& now its over. oh well. it is what it is. my suffering isnt unique there are thousands of people like me. lets find community in that.#ugh. i only ever feel good nowadays when i imagine it all working out for us#i want to be with him and i want him to want me and i want him near me and i want it all to be easy. love shouldnt be this hard.#wooo yeah okay im done. i love it when the mood swings. the mood loves to swing it is its favourite activity in the world#voidcore.txt
0 notes
tadaxii-i · 6 months
Text
CONTRIBUTING TO THE CROP TOP JAMES FEST because HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE HIMBOOOO
I wrote this microfic and it's really horny and kind of Reg centric because I can't help it but! It still fits the demand.
Happy Birthday - 1,550 words - Starchaser, Wolfstar, Background Marylily, Suggestive.
@croptopjames
Regulus had woken James up this morning.
Which was highly unusual, seeing as James usually rose before the sun and Regulus had to mourn his getting up every morning, reaching helplessly around his empty bed.
Today, though, Regulus kissed him awake just a mere minutes before his alarm clock rang.
"Mon coeur," Murmured Regulus against his cheek, the incessant presses of affection slowly but surely pulling James out of his slumber. "Mon amour, please wake up."
"Mghh…" Grumbled James, and the incoherence must have been funny to Regulus, because he chuckled quietly against his skin. Unwillingly, it made James smile too.
"Good morning." Smiled Regulus as he climbed above James, his head hanging like chandelier a few inches from James'. He didn't think he'd ever get used to waking up to the most beautiful sight in the whole world every single morning, with its unruly hair and returning freckles.
"Good morning." He hummed back, and Regulus pressed a kiss to the bridge of his nose, right where it was permanently indented from his glasses.
"Happy birthday, Jamie."
Oh yeah, it was his birthday. James liked seeing Regulus first on his birthdays - spring was returning, so his pale skin tended to brown up incredibly quickly, a myriad of freckles settling on his cheeks and shoulders. His ears took on that constant pink flush that warmed James' heart.
He must have been staring, because Regulus tilted his head to the side, his hair falling into his eyes, but still smiling. Regulus always smiled on his birthdays. James liked to joke that it was always his best gift, but he was actually always serious.
"Come on, you're falling back asleep, I can feel it." Exposed. "Get up, get up! You're only getting older from now on."
"Okay, okay, I get it." Protested James, pushing himself up on his elbows and sitting up against the pillows. Regulus scooted backwards on his knees to give him space, scrunching his nose when James brushed his sleep-puffy eyes. Regulus handed him his glasses, and suddenly the world was clearer.
"I've got a gift for you." He perked up, pushing himself off the bed to reach out into their closet. James had a premium view of the tall expanse of his legs in his shorts from here, so he was more than happy to wait for a bit.
"Why did you wake up so early? We don't have anything until this afternoon, you could have slept a little bit more." James reached out for Regulus' waist as he slid back atop the covers, a thin box clutched in his pretty hands. He leaned into his lover's touch, straddling James' legs and making himself comfortable - which was a wonderful idea, if you asked James - pushing the package against his chest.
Regulus avoided his question, instead opting for: "Open up."
James raised his brow at that, but Regulus only stuck out his tongue, so James thought it was nothing bad. He still tugged at Regulus' tongue with his teeth, though.
At a closer inspection, the box was a flat, burgundy thing with a small carving, that James recognised as a gift box he'd used for Regulus' Yule present a few years ago - probably recycling, then.
Inside, there was a small heap of fabric, meticulously folded into a neat square, of the same dark red that James knew Regulus liked on him. James unfolded it under Regulus' watchful eyes.
It was a crop top, with an inscription on it.
"Boytoy?" Scoffed James, his eyebrows shooting to his hairline. "You're so rude to me! On my birthday!"
But Regulus only leaned forward, whispering against his lips.
"It's true, though."
And it was, yes. So.
Regulus kissed him, so James would do anything he asked of him. It was clockwork, at this point.
"Wear it today?" His baby murmured in between kisses, desperately fighting against the smile threatening to cut James' face in half.
"I thought it was my day." James' hand locked into Regulus' curls.
"It is. Don't act like you don't like it. I've seen your butchered band tees."
"They're not butchered!"
"Okay, 'Fleetwood' fan. No 'Mac' in sight."
"Bitch."
"Sure."
And Regulus' body against his was so very warm.
-
"PRONGS!" Sirius basically ripped his ears off as he jumped into his arms, and James caught him just before he smashed his head against the hardwood floors. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
"Indoors voice, Pads." Reminded Remus, but Sirius ignored him to pepper James' face with sloppy kisses.
"Thank you, Padfoot!" James pressed Sirius against him, practically crushing his smaller frame into his arms. He knew it was the way Sirius liked hugs anyway.
James had definitely mellowed out after settling down with Regulus - his fiancé, thank you very much - but he was sometimes reminded of the way he used to be whenever he saw Sirius jumping around like an overexcited puppy. He envied the way Sirius hadn't changed a bit since high school.
Behind them, Remus and Regulus exchanged a nod and a smile, sighing at their mutual disasters. The both of them weren't much better, but they hid it better, the little shits.
James did a round of hugs and kisses for every guest, receiving 'happy birthday's and low whistles from those who dared look below his pectorals.
"Damn." Marlene slapped his ass on his way to greet Dorcas, her dimples digging into her cheeks. "You're out of control today!"
"It was Reggie's idea." He denounced, ignoring Regulus' dark stare.
"Of course it was." She winked, and he winked back.
The party wasn't really a surprise, because Sirius organised a surprise party every year at the same place, same time. James had stopped pretending to be surprised after a few years, but he still appreciated the sentiment.
Still, after so many years, everyone kept coming. There was not a birthday where someone was missing - Mary had gotten a gift for Evan, for fuck's sake! And they had nothing in common. They were their own little village, an ecosystem coexisting for more than seven years for some, and almost fifteen for the rest.
"Barty J!" James cried out, slamming his hand against Barty's and smashing their shoulders together.
"You look good!" Retorted Barty, those sly eyes wrinkling at the corners. One of the first conversations he'd had with Barty once he and Reg had started dating was some teasing, good intentioned sex advice - He and Regulus had almost been together once, actually - and a weird kind of shovel talk much too similar to Sirius'. knew he had a friend in him, whether or not anyone liked to admit it.
James let go of him and Regulus kissed both of his cheeks, smiling.
Then Evan, Pandora, and late comer Mary who - according to her words - had been snogging Lily in the bathroom, then Lily, who looked like she'd, in fact, been snogged in the bathroom.
And even as they all fell through their yearly routine of hugs, bad American movies and cake, Regulus' eyes were on him; on the expanse of skin on his stomach, on the lingering hands he grazed as he circulated, on the kiss he pressed there as he got settled on the couch with a drink in his hand.
-
James didn't even get to get a glimpse of the inside of their flat before Regulus pressed him against the entrance hall's wall.
In a matter of seconds, hungry lips were on his, and James could only reciprocate, sighing and breathing against the warm, warm, hot pressure. Hands in hair, hands on arms, hands on shoulder blades, hands on bare waists, and it might just as well been Regulus' birthday from he indulged himself. James thought he was no one to stop him, really.
"Baby," James sighed against his hair as Regulus began trailing down his throat. Regulus hummed against his throat, scraping his teeth against his Adam's apple. "Baby, please."
"What do you want?" Regulus caught his lips again - James felt like he was being stringed at the tune of Regulus' violin, something to be played with and discovered.
He didn't know what he wanted, truly. Nothing, everything, just for Regulus to touch him, for fuck's sake. It was never enough, never enough, and James wanted more more more too much.
Regulus dropped on his knees, a beautiful sight with bright blue eyes - Regulus said they were grey but he didn't believe him one second - and rosy red cheeks. He was a bit tipsy from the liquor, that peach delight Dorcas kept pouring into his glass all throughout the night and he just accepted. His lips trailed the crease of James' belly button, peering up through his lashes.
James' breath caught in his chest.
It was easy to predict that Regulus would bite. It still brought James to tears when he did, sinking his sharp canines into the flesh of his flanks, willing the blood to the surface in tiny pools. Regulus' fingers trailed where his tense muscles rippled in shock, looking every bit the blood-sucking demon James knew he was.
"I just want you, my love." James whispered, never ever willing the shame the shake in his voice if it meant Regulus would grin at him like that.
"Your wish is my command."
Tumblr media
51 notes · View notes