#ugh. i only ever feel good nowadays when i imagine it all working out for us

[laikahh]

i wanna go to sleep so bad but my throat is sore as fuckk and its making me feel like shit

[celtic-crossbow]

Hello, its me again, the ‘’long ask anon’’ i should totally stop being na anon, i’m too chatty to only show up once in a while, but being the kind of insane anon that shows up from time to time just to ramble is my true calling.

First off i’d like to thank you for being so sweet, i’m glad you enjoyed my feedback to this degree and took time to answer my questions, i really enjoy knowing your thought process in the creation of this fic and what it might become in the future. Anyway, onto your answer.

I totally agree with you on the importance of wintertime for the group, i think its really a shame how they didn’t show us any of it, though its understandable why they didn’t show us its like, come on, winter is prime apocalypse time, even normal winter is tough as we see in the comics. But here’s the thing, Rick in the comics doesn’t really grapple with Lori’s pregnancy at all like we see Daryl do in this fic, and i think its brilliant, sure everyone else is getting it rough too but reader and Daryl are in a constant state of worry, which makes the joyful moments that much more intimate and special and its portrayed perfectly, i get the sense that in the beginning Daryl deals very well with the negative stuff, but really doesn’t know how to behave during the good times (Like Birdie’s first kick etc.) and yea, that’s the essence of Daryl, a great caretaker, kind of self sabotages tho. Poor guy.

And omg i had no idea babies were capable of that sort of stuff, like recognizing who is who even in the womb?! Kind of amazing, i can barely recognize people through phone calls nowadays lol, and the fact you based it on your own little thumper? Ugh i could die from the cuteness.

And Merle, oh well, i know he hasn’t done anything in the story and i have the sense that he will ( leave birdie alone!!!) but wherever he is i hope he’s getting his ass beat right this instant, excited for him to show up tho! He better not start messing up Daryl’s head!!! Or he’ll suffer the consequences!!! I know our reader would not let it slide. :).

And about Lori, i’m still obsessed with the Lori Reader duo, recently rewatched season 2 which has, so many Lori scenes, So many, and it only makes me like her even more in the BT universe, and you really hit the nail on the head with your interpretation of her, she truly is mainly motivated by fear but strongly adheres to her sense of right and wrong. I also love her offering Daryl advice, the fact that most of the interactions between these two in the show are hostile never sat right with me and i’m glad that she is a trustworthy figure to Daryl, enough for him to take her advice to make our reader feel better. It really is sad that the burden she carries is not the baby (ITS RICK!) and that she tries to seek in others what she can’t have is tragic, but very noble in my opinion.

Carol is our perfect angel, best cheerleader ever, she’s Always there for backup even while she is working through her pain, i imagine her pregnancy wasn’t easy on her (cause Ed) and she wouldn’t want to see any other woman struggle with it, the fact that even in the show she tries to learn from Hershel about medicine to help Lori, and sticks next to her Always, and when Hershel is out of comission starts training her C-section technique thinking of Lori, Carol has Always deserved the world honestly. And she is such a great friend in the fic as well, one thing about her is that she really has the reader’s back no matter what, so sweet.

About chapter 30

After Reading it over and over for like an hour i can say, I’M OBSESSED. Daryl??? So cute??? Omg the fluff had me rotating in my room like a rotisserie chicken , You’ve done it again, It really shows that at this time Daryl is aprehensive, but still so in love with Birdie from moment one, that the first thing he does after making sure everything is ok is to make himself presentable for his daughter,OMGGGG, that he doesn’t really want her to see all of him yet and has to trust that his little Bird will accept him as he is (and she Always will!!) is just peak fluff to me, but also sad that it makes me think that he’s Always been afraid of his father, so much so that he believed it would be the first thing she would feel towards him too. I’m enjoying the hell out of the scenes of them both just hanging out and being cute with her and seeing as Daryl gains more confidence as the chapter progresses, when he realizes Birdie loves him as well, when they both hold onto each other, maybe i’m wrong but in my interpretation that’s when Daryl gained the confidence he needed to think of a name for her (who knows, maybe i’m dead wrong, but that’s how i interpreted his silence) And Carol too, being emotional over Birdie makes me wanna scream, what a bittersweet moment it must have been for her, i just know she’ll be the best aunt ever.

This chapter has really entered a new territory of Daryl’s development in my eyes, now that he is so passionate about birdie, he’s already trying to show service for her and reader in a way, i just know that serving his Family and making sure they are happy will be so good for him in the long term, he’s got it all to be happy now. And i’m eating it up.

Anyway, a Thousand words again who would’ve though, no objective analysis this time, just rambling non-stop, being an overly-chatty anon is my true calling fr.

The fact that some random person out there in the world can write more than a Thousand words about your work must make any author proud tho, so i sincerely hope its the same for you, from what i’ve read through it seems you’ve been having a few Hard days, so i hope to make it even a little better with my feedback and appreciation, better days will come for all of us even if the world is an ugly place right now, we still have beautiful things to look foward to and to keep working towards.

About the fanart i cited in the last text, it does indeed exist. Now it does .      

                              https://imgur.com/a/t9VdHC4

Since my last ask i’ve challenged myself to have it more or less ready by the time the next chapter was here, and though its not anything impressive i took a little of my day to work on it every day, i hope you enjoy knowing that ( and since copying and pasting a link from any anon is not safe, i recomment pasting it to VirusTotal if you feel the need, and i don't really know if the anon mode just gets rid of them completely, if yes let me know and i'll find another way to get it to you after i get over my embarrassment)

Bye bye <3

Okay! As you saw, I got a little distracted from doing this. Also, if my post affected you negatively in any way, I'd like to apologize to you too. It was in poor taste regardless of my intentions. I am so sorry. I really wish we could have seen more about their survival. What we saw, they were always on foot and barely had food. Well, we will get to that soon. Daryl is scared shitless but there's just that bond that was formed while reader was pregnant. That's his baby girl. And he's already wrapped around that tiny finger. I absolutely cannot WAIT to bring Merle into the mix. It might be a little different as far as timeline but it will be at the prison. So we have a ways to go. But it will be interesting. Oh, the plans I have!

Lori will play a more pivotal role in the next couple of chapters. Daryl is going hunting. Reader is alone with Birdie. "HELP!" I feel like Lori would have gotten along with Daryl if she didn't have so much on her plate and could really see him. Yeah, he could be an asshole but he was hiding behind his walls, deflecting. She just had way too much going on, no time to offer that chance. Well, goddamnit, I'm giving her that chance. I want to delve into the problems with her and Rick a little more too, with reader involved. Daryl is going to be a helicopter parent, absolutely no doubt. I think he will be more in tune with her feelings and how to handle them because he didn't have that growing up. He'll know the cues of anger or sadness. And she's his daughter. -squeal- I can't wait to write more of daddy Daryl and little Birdie.

I'm not sure if you noticed but at first, it was always reader suggesting the names and he stayed quiet other than to say nah. But every time he had Birdie, she had her little bird blanket. However, he's going to give an explanation of her name in the next chapter. He was too damn sleepy in this one, lol. Carol is my warrior queen! Forever and always! There will be a bond there that is unlike any other. Not just because of losing Sophia but because Carol has found best friends in Daryl (well, it's a work in progress, lol ) and reader. So Birdie is a product of two of the most important people in her life. She will absolutely fight tooth and nail, savagely to protect her.

I need to be careful or I'm going to spoil so much! But I love getting the chance to talk about it like this! Just to explore the thought process and where it's headed without too much detail, I hope.

OKAY. THAT ART. OMFG. I screeched, even half asleep! When I woke up properly, I was just in awe. It is SO beautiful and I would love to add it to the series Masterlist and share if you are comfortable with that. I mean I realize the link is right up there but I want it to be seen every single time someone goes to see the chapters. I cannot say thank you enough for that. It is GORGEOUS. Perfect. And captures them so well. My three favorite things are reader with the vest and that belly, Daryl holding onto her leg, and Caryl hovering in the background! But I also LOVE that you included the truck! Everything about it is just perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect! My heart was just so full. Thank you so much. 🩵🩵🩵🩵

[hallelujahmeatgod]

"Do you want to talk about it?"

KEN "DRAKEN" RYUGUJI X READER

+word count: 1580

+warning/s: cursing

+genre: kinda fluff, kinda comedic

"He's in his room and he haven't left that damn room since he arrived"

"He didn't even spare a glance around like he'd usually do, he just went straight to his room. He'd usually help around first before disappearing in there"

You nodded in understanding, looking around the brothel which just opened a few minutes ago.

The people at the brothel called you out of concern for Draken, saying he's been moody and not his usual self. They asked you if you know as to why he's acting the way he is but you haven't got a clue yourself. Quite frankly, you haven't seen Draken yourself for a few days since you've been taking care of family matters.

They asked you to come by since you haven't been in the brothel for quite a while, also to talk to Draken since none of them wanted to deal with him.

"I honestly don't have a clue, but I'll try talking to him. I tried asking Mikey about it but that kid isn’t any help either" You replied, giving them a soft smile for reassurance.

You asked Mikey about Draken before you went to the brothel but that kid just gave you a petty answer, so you're convinced that they're not the bestest of friends right now.

"Honestly, what would we do without you? Anyway, go and talk to his moody ass cause he's getting a little annoying for our liking. Then when you guys are done come out here and let's catch up and eat the snacks you bought!"

You nodded and made your way to his room. Thankfully he didn't lock his door so you were able to just enter. You were expecting to see him splayed on his bed or be working out but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Ken" You called out softly. No reply.

You set your school bag on the ground and walked further into his room. Just when you're about to walk past the bathroom you hear water gently splashing a bit inside.

You slowly opened the door and there he was in the tub, head resting back on the tub facing the ceiling, with his eyes closed. You can tell he's not relaxed at all because of the tensed muscles on his arm and his furrowed brows.

"That tub looks relaxing yet there you are still looking like you're about to fight someone" You said to get his attention. You leaned on the door frame as his eyes shot open.

"Y-Y/n" He said, looking a bit surprised, sitting up straight from the tub.

"Ken" You gave him a small smile.

"What are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed here anymore?" You asked not too seriously.

"You are. You always are. It's just that you seem busy these days" He looked down at the water.

"I'm sorry for not being around, Ken" You gave him an apologetic look.

He shook his head lightly, still looking down at the water. "No need, I understand"

You stayed silent and just observed him. How he's looking intensely at the water, that you swear he could probably boil that water right now just by staring at it. How he's muscles are still nowhere near relaxed. How his breathing isn't steady. How his brows are still furrowed. And how his lips pout a little bit.

You pushed yourself from the door frame, walked up to him and crouched down beside the tub so that you're eye level with him.

"Ken, what's troubling you?" You asked, putting your hand on his nape and caressing it.

He slowly looked at you, looking vulnerable. A sight no one often gets to see, even you. It honestly pains you a little to see such a look from such a strong, stern man who's always got his composure.

He sighs, leaned over the tub and drops his head on your shoulder. "I-I... I'm just not that okay nowadays. I don’t even know anymore.” He admitted.

You hummed in understanding, caressing his nape all the way to his hair, pulling his hair tie to let his hair loose. You ran your hand through his hair, untangling some knots, and for the first time since you saw him he relaxed. You saw his shoulders drop slowly as he let out a breath.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's just so many things bugging my mind. Life here in the brothel, the gang, and other things. It's just one of those phases wherein everything dawns upon you" He sighs, lifting his head just to hide it on the crook of your neck.

"I texted Mikey before going here and he just gave me a petty reply. That also bothering you?" You asked, massaging water on his head to hopefully help him cool down.

"Yeah, we ended up arguing cause he’s not in a good mood and so am I. It's all just chaos in my head right now really" He groans, lifting his arms from the tub and wrapping them around you. You're a little soaked now but you didn't mind, all that matters is him.

He hugged you tighter and tighter until you guys were literally flushed against each other, soaking you more.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I badly wanted to just go to you, to seek refuge in you and just to lay and hold you like this, to calm my mind. But I knew you were dealing with family stuff and that it means a lot to you, so I just bottled it all in."

"It's okay" You pulled away just enough to see his face. You held his face in your hand and caressed his cheeks. "I'm sorry I wasn't around. But now I'm here, you don't have to go through such tough times on your own. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes, just take your time, I’ll wait for you'' You smiled, making him smile. You kissed the corner of his mouth making him roll his eyes. He pulled you on a proper kiss, sighing against your lips.

"Thank you" He said when you pulled away. "Thank you for always being by my side and showing me affection even though I tend to suck at it and sharing my feelings. Just how would I repay you"

"Repay me by relaxing properly, dropping the attitude towards other people, and reconciling with Mikey" He groaned at the last part which made you chuckle.

"What? You'd be doing the gang a favor if you take the initiative, Ken. We all know Mikey wouldn't dare do it, and the longer you guys aren't besties the more agonizing it'll be for the rest of the gang. Imagine the captain and the vice captain being petty, ugh, I already feel bad for all of them" You said humorously, making him pull away completely and sit back on the tub as he pouts.

"I'm always doing it." He pouted even more.

You chuckled, ruffling his hair. "You know Mikey can be an extreme kid when he's not beating up someone."

"Why do I always have to be the bigger person?" He said under his breath.

"I mean you are 6'1 and Mikey's only 5'3"

"You're lame" He immediately countered before laughing lightly, making you laugh too. If being lame means you'll get to hear this giant laugh, well maybe being lame isn’t too bad.

"IS THAT THE GIANT'S LAUGH THAT I HEAR?!" You heard someone say from the outside. Suddenly the door burst open revealing Remi.

Draken rolled his eyes, flipping her off and she flipped him off too.

"Now that the giant doesn't seem like an asshole anymore Y/n let's go and catch up!" She grinned, pulling you up and out of the bathroom, not giving you time to reply.

"Hey! You can't just take her away!" Draken protested, standing up from the tub quickly wrapping his towel around his waist.

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you, restricting Remi from pulling you away. He and Remi immediately looked at each other with daggers as they kept on pulling you. At this point they could definitely cut your body in half.

"Well I already am, what are you gonna do about it?" Remi spat.

"Umm….Pull her away from you? You midget" Draken spat back but more calmly, which is honestly annoying. It's always the most annoying when people talk back in a calm manner...or is that just me?

"At least I'm not as moody as you. You act way worse than a woman on her period or a pregnant lady!"

They went back and forth with you still in between them. For every comeback they kept on pulling you.

"OKAY! Kindly shut the fuck up you two?" You smiled sarcastically at both of them, pulling your arms from them. They both pouted and huffed like little kids, turning away from each other.

"I'll go with Remi now since it has been a while since I saw them." You said, making Remi light up and Draken give you an offended look.

"WHAT--" Draken was about to protest but Remi burst into laughter pulling you to the door. You shrugged at Draken as he gave you a narrowed look and mouthed "traitor"

"Oh-- and when you're done, change the bulb in the lounge room, jerk!" She stuck her tongue out.

"Seriously, when will I ever catch a break-- you know what? Just get out you two!" He groaned, making you and Remi laugh.

[bloodorangesoup]

Ice Cream and Bad TV | B.B.

Request: Late night thoughts : The only porn bucky watches are the ones that come on tv at like 2 or 3 in the mornings. Imagine cuddling up with him on his living room floor, aimlessly clicking around until you stumble upon the channel & he gets flustered & shy about it & you fuck him while porn plays in the background. Like I think it’s so romantic🥺🥺 riding him while the soft glow of the tv illuminates his face. His moans & grunting blending in with the actors 😫😫

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k (this was supposed to be a drabble but I cannot for the life of me control myself)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ | cuddle fucking, unprotected sex(pretend ur on birth control for a sec)(still wrap it b4 your tap it), flustered Bucky, porn talk, the tiniest bit of sub!Bucky for like half a second, fluffy smut, you get the gist

My Masterlist

Notes: I did this in one sitting so sorry if it’s repetitive or has any mistakes. I think I have a major soft sport for flustered Bucky. I also had to think of a realistic name for a TV porn channel so bear with me. This is my first time writing smut in non-headcanon form so let me know how I did! Happy reading!

It was 2am on a Thursday night when your phone rang with your boyfriend's caller I.D. This wasn't the first time that Bucky had called you for this instance, it became a routine for you to talk him down after a nightmare and you prepared to do so when you picked up. Usually the first thing you would hear was his heavy breaths, the anxious buzz in his body making him fumble his words as he tried to focus on talking to you, so you were surprised to be met with still breathing and his typical deep, steady voice.

"Doll? You there?"

"Yeah, Buck, I'm here," you replied with a yawn, trying to sound as awake as possible. Bucky could hear the airiness of your voice and let out a sigh.

"Sorry, baby, I woke you up."

"You say that every time, I don't mind waking up for you. Besides, I don't have work tomorrow so I don't exactly need my beauty rest."

There was a pause. You could still hear static from the other side of the call but Bucky didn't say a word.

"Buck? You okay?" As if you snapped him out of a daydream, his hurried words rushed through the phone.

"Yeah yeah, sorry. I'm kind of out of it right now, I had another bad dream."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You had expected his usual answer of yes, then you would listen to his thoughts and comfort him through the horrific reality that were his nightmares.

"You said you don't have work tomorrow? Do you think you could come over right now? Actually never mind, I don't know what I'm saying, it's 2am." You could practically see Bucky shaking his head as he took back his question.

"I'll be there in twenty, James. You better have some blankets and pillows ready for me because we're taking over your couch."

Bucky let out a breath over the line, "See you soon, y/n, love you."

"Love you more," you said quickly before hanging up, not letting him get in the last 'I love you.'

~

Forty minutes later you found yourself on Bucky's lap on his living room floor. You two had abandoned the idea of the couch and chose to make a small fort with the couch as your scaffolding. There was a surprising amount of pillows and blankets surrounding the two of you, you had no idea Bucky even owned them all.

He sat with his back against the couch, your legs laid over his and your arms were around his neck, bringing his head down to your chest. He talked about his nightmare, sparing you the gruesome details, and once he was done he closed his eyes and leaned further into your chest, breathing in your scent. You gave the crown of his head a kiss and rested your head atop his. Comfortable silence washed over the two of you before you spoke up.

“You know what always makes me feel better?” you asked, lifting your head just enough to look down at him.

“What?” he mumbled into your chest. A soft smile graced your face at his cuteness.

“Ice cream and bad TV!” you announced excitedly before wiggling out of his grasp.

You did a little jog to his kitchen and reached down into the freezer to grab a small pint of ice cream you knew Bucky always kept stashed for you whenever you came around. Picking up two spoons and turning off all the lights in the apartment on your way, you quickly made your way back into the living room, lifting Bucky’s arms to situate yourself back into your position on his lap. You popped the lid of the small tub and handed it to Bucky along with a spoon. With your hands now free, you felt around in the dark for the remote and turned on the TV.

Waiting for the TV to completely turn on, you ate a spoonful of ice cream. You hummed at the taste of the cold sweetness coating your tongue. You gasped as you opened your eyes, finding Bucky scooping out some ice cream and lowering it to your mouth.

“Oh wait, let me make this cuter!” you squealed with your eyes wide.

Copying Bucky’s actions, you took a spoonful and lifted it to his lips, the both of you opening wide and feeding each other. You giggled at the cliché moment and Bucky couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at how adorable you were.

You turned back to the TV, lifting the remote in your hands to change the channel to anything but the news that was already playing on the screen. As you flipped through sports recaps, music channels, infomercials, and movies that were already almost over, you sighed.

“Ugh, there’s nothing good on. Maybe if I start from the end of the list there’ll be better stuff,” you huffed.

Before Bucky could register what you said you had already typed in the biggest number you could enter and began flipping down through channels. Surfing through the empty screens, you landed on one called HotNet and suddenly the screen was completely taken over by a pair of boobs which then cut to a woman on her back and a man on top of her, rutting into her at a slow pace, while her moans echoed throughout the apartment. You quickly shuffled with the remote, trying to turn the volume down from it’s loud setting, spooked at the loud, obscene noise coming from the speaker.

“Oh my gosh, I wasn’t expecting that,” you laughed into Bucky’s chest, “God, I hope your neighbors didn’t hear that.”

Bucky stared at the screen with wide eyes, hoping you would change the channel before noticing that the channel was in the On Demand section. You gasped through your laugh, collecting yourself before turning back to the TV and shaking your head.

“Jeez, I didn’t even know they still had porn like this on public television.” You looked back down at the remote, clicking the Guide button. Bucky’s heart stopped as the description took over the screen, the video still playing in the top right corner. In bold letters the words On Demand titled the card. Even worse, the bottom of the screen displayed a small box containing the information,

$19.99

purchased with debit card xxxx-9758

You furrowed your brows in confusion, realization slowly softening them, before a mischievous smirk took over your face. You lifted your head to look at Bucky, his face looked down at your lap, refusing to meet your eyes. You tapped the bottom of his chin with the remote, lifting his head to meet your gaze.

“Did you order TV porn, Jamie?” He could hear the teasing tone in your voice, and you only ever used that nickname when joking around, yet Bucky still felt extremely embarrassed. He felt as if he just got walked in on while touching himself. It didn’t help that it was you that saw it, he wanted to crawl in a hole and never look back.

“Ah, you’re blushing,” you squealed as you took his cheeks in your hands, “oh come on, it’s not that embarrassing Bucky.”

“Ugh, can we please pretend you didn’t just see that,” Bucky groaned, closing his eyes to escape your stare. He set down the ice cream next to him and lifted his forearm over his eyes.

You let out a breathy laugh, grabbing his shoulders to stabilize yourself and pushing up to swing your leg under you to the other side of his lap, you straddled him.

“Hey, it’s really not that bad. I mean we’ve had sex before Buck, I think you’d rather have me find this than Sam or someone else.” He let out another groan and lowered his head to lean against your neck.

“Angel, please don’t talk about Sam while you’re on top of me and there’s porn playing on the TV.”

You laughed and ran your hands down his arms, letting one of your hands run up behind his neck and weaving your fingers into his hair. You gripped the back of his head and gently tugged him back up to face you.

“Why,” you sang, deciding to have some fun with him in his flustered state, “is this turning you on?” you whispered the last part.

Before he could respond you leaned down and kissed him. You didn’t bother to start off slow as you usually would, Bucky could taste the hunger from every parting of your lips. His hands gripped your waist, you rocked your weight forwards to rub against him. Bucky’s head clouded, his senses felt overloaded in the best way possible, your movements mixed with the sounds of the moaning coming from the TV were getting him hot. You pulled back before getting too carried away, a smile on your swollen lips.

“So, baby, tell me about it.” You said. It was Bucky’s turn to furrow his brows and he cocked his head to the side in question, mind still foggy from the feeling of you grinding on him.

“What kind of porn do you watch?” you clarified, looking at him like you just asked what his favorite color was.

“Uhm, you want to know about that stuff?” Bucky looked at you with caution, feeling out if he should listen to you or not.

“Well, yeah. I mean I don’t know how it was back then, but most people nowadays watch porn. It’s not super taboo to talk about it,” you explained. You weren’t going to force him to talk about it if he really didn’t want to, but your desire to hear what Bucky was into was strong.

He hesitated for a moment, looking in your eyes and seeing curiosity clouded with lust. He cleared his throat.

“Well, pretty much this stuff,” he gestured with his hand to the TV before putting it back on your waist, “there’s this girl on there, she kinda looks like you, so I buy the videos with her.” He closed his eyes and internally groaned at his words, he didn’t mean to come off so perverted. God, you had already found his porn, the last thing he needed was for you to be thinking he was a creep.

“Y’know that’s actually kinda sweet,” you giggled, “what do you like about those videos?”

Feeling a bit more comfortable knowing you weren’t grossed out, Bucky continued.

“I like the ones where it’s dark and slow. It’s usually quiet and there’s candles and stuff,” he explained shyly. Of all the surprises that came with dating Bucky, you had to admit finding out he was into romantic porn was one of the biggest ones.

Bucky cleared his throat again before questioning you, “Do you watch porn?” He felt almost wrong asking that. He knew that women in this age were more sexually liberated, but the words still felt sticky in his mouth.

“Oh, yeah, of course I do.” Bucky seemed surprised at how casually you answered. He raised his eyebrows, silently asking you to go on.

“Well specifically, I actually really like the videos that are like this,” you said, your head looking down at you straddling him, he followed your gaze, taking in how nice you felt on his lap. You leaned forward, bracing your hands on his chest. Your faces were so close your noses were almost touching. You could feel his rapid heart beat under your palm and the quick rise and fall of his chest. “Do you ever watch the ones that look like this, Bucky?” He looked up at you and nodded with wide eyes, his pupils were blown and his mouth was open like he was searching for the words to respond.

You grasped his jaw in your hand, your thumb on his chin, and looked him in the eyes. You wanted nothing more than to jump his bones, but with the newfound knowledge you had, you took your time with your actions. Within the last five minutes, Bucky had revealed to you not only that he liked soft, romantic porn, but that he also watched a specific actress because she looks like you. The one goal in your head was to fulfill his fantasy the best you could at the moment.

With his head still in your hand, you held your eye contact as you let your knees move out, grinding yourself against his growing erection. He let out an involuntary whimper. That was the last straw. You pulled his face to yours, joining him in a hard, yet loving kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pushing your chest against his, trying to get as close as possible.

Bucky’s dick was painfully hard. He couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of you on top of him. His body felt like it was on fire, he was insatiably horny and couldn’t control the way his hips bucked up to grind with you. He felt like a horny teenager the way his mind was filled only with images of you naked, imagining you like that on top of him like you were now.

You slipped your tongue past his lips, keeping your pace slow as you glided it across and bit at his lower lip. A moan made its way out of your mouth and into his as you felt him buck up against you.

You slid your hands down his chest, fumbling with the hem of his shirt before his arms raised, giving you access to peel it off him, throwing it up on the couch. Bucky kissed down your neck, licking over the shell of your ear, and sucking at the center of your throat. He reached down and slipped his hands under your shirt, sliding up and down your waist before gliding up and lifting your shirt over your head, discarding it with his.

Bucky wasted no time reaching around you and unclipping your bra and dragging it down your shoulders. He cupped your breasts, squeezing them with his large hands before bringing you into another tender kiss. Despite your frantic movements, there was a spark of passion cracking through the air, the both of you desperate to feel each other closer.

You broke the kiss, breathing heavily and resting your forehead against his.

“I wanna make love to you, y/n, please, let me make love to you,” he groaned with a slight whine in his voice. He sounded like he was about to crack.

“Please, Bucky.”

You leaned back on your hands and lifted your hips, giving Bucky the room to pull down your shorts and panties in a few swift tugs. He quickly got up on his knees and pulled down his sweats and boxers, sitting back down and tugging them off his legs. You reached your arms forward, Bucky grabbing a hold of your wrists and pulling you back to straddle him again. You gasped at the feeling of his cock under your bare pussy, your wetness from all the grinding and kissing making you slide over him.

You leaned forwards, capturing his lips between yours and raising yourself up on your knees. Reaching under yourself, you gripped his cock, wet with your arousal, and lined him up with your cunt. Bucky gripped your hips as you sank down on him, using every ounce of self control to stop himself from rutting up into you. You stayed like that for a second, adjusting to the way he filled you. Seeing the remote lying on the floor, you grabbed it and slightly turned up the volume, only enough so that you and Bucky could hear the actress in the video being ravished by her co-star.

Bracing your hands on his shoulders, you began to slowly move up and down over him, riding him just as you had told him you liked to watch. His hands moved up from your waist, squeezing your tits, pinching your nipples in between his fingers. You let out a hiss as he rolled them between his fore finger and his thumb, tugging on and rubbing his thumbs over them. He reached around to grab your ass, squeezing and rubbing your cheeks and you used him to pleasure yourself.

You were a moaning mess over him and he wasn’t much different. The room was filled with the sounds of the porn playing on the TV mixed with the sounds of your own cries of pleasure. If the neighbors hadn’t been woken up by the TV, they sure were by you two.

Bucky sat back on his knees, his hands slid down to your thighs, moving your legs from under them and wrapping your legs around his back. His arms worked their way back up to wrap around your waist, bringing you ever so close. The new angle pushed him even deeper up into you. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, giving you access to all the sweet, desperate sounds falling from his lips.

You were now pushing up with your feet behind him, rolling your hips over his. The new technique made your clit rub over his pelvis, the sensation making you throw your head back and let out a deep moan. He took the opportunity to continue kissing your neck, going lower with every lick and bite. He sucked at your collarbone, leaving a deep purple mark in its place.

Suddenly, he was using his arms to lift you up, not pulling out of you, and laying you down on the blanket-covered floor. You instinctively locked your ankles together, pulling him closer as he thrusted into you. Bucky had his metal arm holding himself up while his flesh one squeezed your breasts, feeling them move with his thrusts. He lowered his head to your chest and licked one of your nipples, grazing his teeth over it before taking it in between his lips and sucking. Your hands flew to the back of his head, singing praises as you wove your fingers into his hair. He continued to alternate between your breasts, leaving love bites around them and sucking on their sensitive peaks.

You could feel your body buzz with anticipation, you were so close. The moans escaping your mouth were lewd and uncontrolled. Bucky wrapped his flesh hand around your waist, lifting your chest flush against his.

You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling yourself up to kiss him. Nothing felt better than making love with Bucky felt. This was definitely not the first time you two had been intimate, but none of those previous times had ever been like this. You could feel the passion flowing through his body into yours. You looked up at his form over you, how beautiful he looked with the light of the TV screen glistening against the beads of sweat on his forehead. There was absolutely nothing in the world compared to having him, in all his beauty, to yourself like this.

Bucky’s heart was exploding in his chest. What had started out as an embarrassing, nightmare-fueled night had turned into the most intimate experience he ever had in his life. Love was already established in your relationship, but Bucky had never truly made love to you. He looked down in awe at your disheveled state, at the way your hair was sticking to your forehead, at the way the only light in the room gave you an angelic glow. He wanted nothing more than to give himself completely to you, to make you come all over him.

He leaned his forehead against yours, pushing his face forward once every few seconds to kiss you. He was close, and he wanted you to come with him. He leaned into you even more, his cheek pressed against yours, his lips next to your ear.

“I love you so much, y/n, God, you feel so good. I love you, I love you,” Bucky’s voice was deep and strained, his words being emphasized by each push into your wet pussy. You let out another loud moan.

“I love you, James,” you whined as he hit your sweet spot, “I love you so much.”

Bucky’s hand wedged itself in between the two of you, his fingers finding your clit and gently rubbing it. You were completely overwhelmed, this is what it felt like to make love to someone. Your body began to shake and your breathing became erratic. Bucky thrusted harder, working to push you over the edge.

“I want you to come in me, Bucky,” you gasped as his thrusts got faster and lost their rhythm.

Your mouth turned open in a silent scream as you came. Bucky felt your walls clench around him, squeezing the life out of him. He let out a shaky groan as he fell over the edge. His eyes shut tight and his body tensed as he spilled into you.

Wrapping his metal arm around your back and securing your body to his, he rolled on his flesh shoulder onto his back. You went limp against him, laying your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat slow down. He was still buried within you, connected to you. Letting your eyelids fall shut, you savored the feeling of being full of him and his love.

You lifted your head to kiss his jaw.

“I’m glad you called me, Bucky. I love you.”

“I am too, doll. I love you more.”

[mickey-henry]

𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: bucky’s been flirting with you, but hasn’t taken it further than that. frustrated, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: occasional swearing (but not much) and frustrating flirting (I’d be melting if it was happening to me). besides that, this fic is pure fluffy fun.

author’s note: hello there! this is my second fic; I’m very excited to post it! I found the header image here, and if you want to listen to the song I reference in this fic, you can listen here. bold text indicates singing, while italicized text refers to inner thoughts. likes, reblogs, messages, replies, and comments are cherished! I hope you like it! 💖

Bucky Barnes is an acquaintance at best. The two of you rarely work together, and with conflicting schedules, you see little of each other around the compound. On a random Friday in April, however, something changes in you. The moment is nothing out of the ordinary. You’re sitting on the couch in the main living space, re-reading one of your favorite books. Bucky has just returned from a mission; you glance up to see his exhausted expression. He catches your eye, winking with a smile, before walking to his room. Your heart flutters and your head freezes at the response. “Oh, no,” you think to yourself. “Maybe that was a one-time thing? I don’t actually like him, right?” Wrong. 

Ever since that night, the mere presence of Bucky Barnes drives you crazy: his stunning blue eyes that squint ever so slightly when he smiles, his adorable nose that crinkles when he laughs, his pillowy lips that you lose yourself in, his  fluffy hair you can’t help but imagine running your fingers through, his scruff speckled jawline that you wish would brush along your hands, cheeks, anywhere really. He occupies your dreams; you can’t escape this man even if you try. Today, he drives you crazier than usual. He stands in the compound's kitchen in a tight black t-shirt, one that leaves nothing to the imagination. This is the first time you’ve seen him in short sleeves, in anything other than tactical gear. You can’t help but stare as he prepares his lunch. The shirt hugs his frame tight, accentuating his biceps that had no right to be that big. “Gosh, he must spend hours in the gym to look like that.” You then notice the vein in his right arm protruding from his skin, tracing it with your eyes. You didn’t think he could become any more beautiful, but here he is before you, incredible as ever. 

You’re pulled from your reverie when Bucky calls your name. “Yeah?” you reply, barely masking the startled stutter in your voice.

“Pass me the salt?”

“Oh! Sure, of course,” you muster, taking a sip of water from the glass in front of you as you hand him the salt shaker. 

“Thanks, doll,” he flirts with a smile, the same one he gave you that night when he got back to the compound. You nearly choke. “Bucky Barnes called me a term of endearment?!? Holy shit.” Your heart swells and you look down at your glass in a desperate attempt to hide the blush creeping its way across your cheeks. “Goodness gracious, I respond this way from a simple word?” You couldn’t imagine how you’d feel if he touched you. 

It didn’t take long to find out. The following day, you stand in the kitchen prepping your lunch, singing softly along to the song playing from your phone. Bucky appears soon after. He stands close to you for a moment, closer than necessary, but of course you don’t mind. He has just showered; his cologne lingers in the air, intoxicating you. Somehow, you keep singing along, showing no sign that your mind is elsewhere. 

“Ugh, he smells amazing. This man has too much power over me; this is ridiculous! I don’t even remember what I was doing—”

“You have a beautiful voice,” he compliments.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you softly reply, your heart racing at his praise.

“Let me get by you real fast, doll,” he says, moving to walk behind you. 

“There he goes again with the pet name. My god, could this get any worse—” 

He places his hands gently on your hips as he moves beside you. Electricity travels through your whole body; you’re internally screaming at his touch. His hands feel better than you imagined. Even though the contact lasts only a moment, the effects of his touch linger after, leaving you speechless. 

You hear a musical chuckle from the man behind you. “Is he teasing me? It sure feels like it,” you wonder. There is no way that he can’t see the effect he has on you. Before you can even formulate another thought, he touches you again as he moves back to the other side of you. “That was definitely on purpose; certainly he wouldn’t do this by accident. Right?”

Your eyes linger as he finishes putting together his lunch. He catches your gaze and smiles. “See you later, sweetheart,” he says with a wink before leaving the room. “Okay, that answers my question; that was very intentional. What am I going to do with myself?”

You don’t know how much longer you can take his teasing. Throughout the week, he ups his antics, calling you pet names more than your own, stealing touches whenever he can get away with it, smiling whenever you make eye contact. The tension is insatiable; thoughts of Bucky follow you everywhere. You decide to take matters in your own hands; Bucky did not seem to be planning to make a move anytime soon. If he is going to tease the hell out of you, you might as well get some payback. 

───────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Tony’s announcement of Friday night karaoke gives you a wicked idea. However, for it to work, you need to recruit help. You know just who to ask. It doesn’t take long to find Sam and Steve; they spent a ton of their free time sparring in the gym. They seem to be at the end of their workout, their movements slow and sloppy, relying on witty retorts to throw off the other. They stop when they notice your arrival. 

“Hey!” Sam says with a smile, hugging you as you approach. You squeeze him tightly, even with his sticky sweat coating his arms. You greet Steve with a hug too.

“What brings you to our neck of the woods?” Steve asks as you let go.

“Can I ask you guys something? And you promise you two won’t laugh at me? Especially if I'm reading this wrong?”

“Of course,” answers Steve. 

“Yeah, for sure,” replies Sam. 

You hesitate for a second, taking a deep breath. “Does Bucky like me? I swear he does. He keeps teasing me, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I think I am practically in love with the guy at this point, he’s so beautiful and—”

You stop as the boys exchange glances and begin laughing. 

You cross your arms, hurt. “You said you wouldn’t laugh at me! I can’t control how I feel.”

“No! Wait! We aren’t laughing at you!” Steve says between giggles. 

You furrow your brows. “Then why are you laughing?”

“Bucky’s obsessed with you,” Steve answers after calming his laughter. 

“God, yes, you’re all he talks about nowadays,” Sam adds. 

“What?! He does? Why? Are you shitting me right now? Because that would be really freaking mean—“

“No! Of course not,” Steve insists. “Don’t you see the way he looks at you?”

“And the pet names he gives you?” Sam adds.

“And how he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself lately?” Steve finishes. 

Now you feel stupid for even asking. Of course you noticed all of those things. They were all you ever thought about. “Well, yeah, but maybe he does that with all the girls.”

“What girls?” Sam retorted. “The only women who are here often enough to cross paths with him are you, Natasha, and Wanda. Wanda’s with Vision, as weird as that is, but love is love. Natasha shoots daggers at anyone who looks at her with love in their eyes. That leaves you.”

“Why in the world would he like me? Of all people? He’s out of my league,” you sigh,

Sam’s scoff pulls you from your thoughts. “Bucky? Out of your league? He’s a crazy ex-assassin with emotional issues! If anything, he's out of your league.”

“You’re a catch, why wouldn’t he like you?” Steve assures.

Steve and Sam always know just what to say to make you feel better. “I guess you’re right,” you admit with a defeated grin. 

“So, you know how Bucky feels. What are you going to do about it?” Steve asks. 

“I have an idea, but I need your help.”

“We’re listening.”

You divulge your plan to them. They smile, hyping you up. 

“Dude, I’m so down!” Sam exclaims, clapping his hands in excitement. 

“You think this will work?”

“Definitely,” Steve assures. “This is going to be amazing!”

“Okay then, we’re doing this. Let’s go find Bucky. Time to initiate phase one.”

───────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Bucky is sitting on the common room couch, flipping through a book when he sees you, Sam, and Steve enter. He exchanges a glance with you, smiling as your eyes light up. The three of you sit down. You’re sitting next to Sam, closer than usual. There’s a brief moment of silence before you speak. “Sam, are you going to karaoke night?”

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss everyone’s drunk-ass singing for the world.”

“Will you be my duet partner?”

This catches Bucky’s attention. He looks up from his book. Why the hell were you asking Sam to sing with you? You normally ask the girls...

“Sure thing, baby. It’ll be a ton of fun!” Sam smiles. 

Baby?! What?! How dare he call you a pet name, his girl, right in front of him? Well, you may not be his girl yet, but Sam knows how he feels about you. What the hell is he thinking?

“Yay! This’ll be so fun!” You hug him, grabbing his hand before continuing, “Wanna practice with me in a bit?”

“Find me when you’re ready, sweetheart,” Sam answers, kissing your knuckle before letting go of your hand. 

Sweetheart?! What the fuck was going on? Did he miss his shot? Would Sam really do that to him? Bucky can barely handle his swirling thoughts. He storms out of the room without looking back. 

Steve can’t help but laugh once Bucky is out of earshot. “That worked a little too well, wouldn’t you say so?”

“That wasn’t too far, was it?” you ask with a worried expression on your face. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it. He’ll just come on even stronger now. He won’t give up on you that easily,” Sam assures you. 

───────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Bucky can barely contain his anger as you step on the stage with Sam, giggling and smiling at your karaoke partner. Jealousy engulfs him. He can barely listen to the start of the song, ignoring the catchy beat blasting through the speakers. He doesn’t recognize the song, but looks up from his drink when you sing, “Hey Bucky boy, what you doing tonight? I wanna see what you got in store."

He looks right at you. Did she just say Bucky?

Sam echoes, “Hey, hey Bucky!” Well, that answers his question.

“You're giving it your all when you're dancing on me. I want to see if you can give me some more,” you continue, twirling your fingers through your hair.

“Hey, hey Bucky!”

“You can be my man, I can be your girl, and we can pump this jam however you want,” you sing, swaying your hips to the cadence of the lyrics.

“Hey, hey Bucky!”

“Pump it from the side, pump it upside down, or we can pump it from the back and the front,” you wink as you finish the line. Bucky sits up suddenly, crossing his legs, his face turning beet red. You smile, knowing the plan was working. Steve laughs from beside him. He keeps his eyes glued on you as the two of you continue the song, utterly entranced. You look him right in the eye as you end the song, “I want you tonight.”

You saunter over to where he is sitting after high-fiving Sam, confidence filling your chest. “So, what did you think of my performance, Bucky?”

You yelp as he grabs your hips and pulls you down to sit on his lap. His voice deepens, “you’re such a tease, you know that right?”

You laugh. “I’m the tease? Really? You’re the one who just pulled me onto your lap and taunts me with flirtatious remarks and smiles all freaking day. My god Bucky, make a move already—”

He cuts you off, pulling you in for a kiss, his flesh arm grabbing the back of your neck. The team whoops and cheers. 

“Glad you finally made a move, Bucky,” you pant as your lips part from his.

“Best decision I ever made in my life, doll.” Before you can respond, he kisses you again, the karaoke bar fading in the background as you finally embrace the man of your dreams.

[nalu4emily]

The Unexpected Reward - Chapter 18

Summary: Natsu and Lucy go on a job together, but what they bring home is something neither anticipated. Forced to make a life changing decision, they have to adapt quickly, but that's never easy, especially given the circumstances. As they work together on their toughest adventure yet, they find themselves drawn to one another, in ways they never realised.

Rated mature for a reason. Although this chapter is all fluff.

With one last glance in the mirror, Lucy eyed herself closely in the reflection. Her eyes followed the movement of her manicured hand slowly drifting down the length of the lacy bodice, smoothing over a few creases in the skirt before finally resting under her bump. She studied the silk material carefully, appreciating the way it flowed off of her curvaceous body and delicately trailed along the floor behind.

It was beautiful, unlike the enormous meringue-like frock her friends had so graciously picked out for her. Gone were the days of wearing intricately designed, overly priced, princess dresses that left little room to move, let alone breathe. No, the one she'd picked out was much more flattering, less poofy, and delicately sat in just the right places. It clung to her every curve and emphasised all the parts Lucy liked about her body, whilst also accommodating her growing bump. Her silky blonde hair had been loosely pulled back and curled, decorated with small gem encrusted pins throughout. And her make up had been left minimal, giving her a simple but elegant finish—the look she favoured nowadays.

Her hand began rubbing small circles were it lay, a recent thing she found herself doing, a comfort to her racing heart as it pulsated through her body, echoing the erratic movements of her unborn baby.

She was anxious; who wouldn't be? But she knew that her guild mates would never allow such a day to go badly, they'd all put too much effort into planning it to allow for such folly.

As for Natsu… well, the boy didn't know what'd hit him once the guild found out. He had no idea what getting married really entailed, and figured, like she, it would happen much further into the future than it had. Their friends, however, had given them little choice in the matter, and within a month of the proposal, she was standing in her dream wedding dress about to make that lifelong commitment to the man just as clueless as she was.

In some ways, it all seemed rather convenient. If Lucy didn't know any better, she would've put her fateful coupling down to destiny, but those were the delusions of a small child who'd grown up alone in a big mansion, destined to marry some self important aristocrat and play housewife for his money.

A different life entirely.

Her meeting Natsu had changed all that; he'd opened her eyes to what life could really offer. She'd concluded, after many years as a member of Fairy Tail, that destiny really could be burned to ashes, that fate stood no chance against the likes of her friends, and that she was no different. It had been her choices that'd lead her down this path, and that she had always been in charge of her own future.

So getting married was no longer some massive event that held such great importance in her life, for she had found her true happiness. Married or not, her feelings towards the dragon slayer would never change, her heart belonged solely to him and had done for much longer than she'd ever admit to.

Instead, the wedding would be used a day of celebrating their long lasting friendship, their deep bond and most importantly, the love they'd shared so unconditionally for one another. They'd been through so much together; the pain and heart ache; the cheer and laughter and everything in between; every memory was precious and every moment from now on, even more so.

The longer she thought about it all, the more her eyes began to prickle with unshed tears, threatening to streak down her powdered skin, "Ugh… Stupid feelings..." She whispered, using her finger to wipe up the wetness.

"Aw, Lucy, you don't have to cry! Save it for the actual ceremony, you'll ruin your make up otherwise." Levy was quick to take out a clean tissue, dabbing away at her friends eyes whilst trying not to ruin her masterpiece. "Thank goodness for waterproof mascara, huh?"

"Sorry Levy, I don't know what came over me." She just couldn't understand it; where had all these emotions come from? "It must be my hormones…"

"Nope, I'm pretty sure it's because you're about to get married, Lucy. I imagine lot's of bride's get a little teary on their wedding day." Mira began, offering some words of encouragement. "And besides, Natsu will be just as emotional, I bet."

If memory served correctly, Natsu would be, no doubt, still in his boxers, piling food into his face alongside Happy and Haru, with not a care in the world. It was just a gut feeling, but somehow, Lucy was pretty sure their morning had gone very differently to hers. "Hmm… I don't know. Are we even talking about the same person here? I mean he's probably not even dressed yet."

Mira chuckled lightly, although Lucy saw right through it. She knew that if her words were true, the barmaid wouldn't hesitate to go full Satan-soul on the slayer's ass, ripping him a new one. But the woman said nothing more about it as she reached up to place the veil atop of Lucy's head, before standing back to marvel at the beautiful bride, "There. I have to say, Natsu's one lucky guy! You look good enough to eat, Lucy!"

"Um… thanks, Mira." Blushing, Lucy turned away embarrassed, knowing exactly what the take over mage was inferring, "How much longer until we're ready?"

"Twenty minutes. So we need to pick up the pace or we'll be late." Erza's thunderous tone came sharply from the doorway as she entered the room, her athletic body filling her own, full length dress out in ways Lucy felt slightly envious of. "And the bride shall not be late to her own wedding. We've all waited far too long for it to be ruined now."

Lucy chose to ignore that last bit, never one to dwell on what her guild mates inevitably spoke about behind her and Natsu's back. She quickly put her heeled shoes on and made her way to the door, "Is Anna here yet? She's supposed to be walking me down the aisle."

One of the few decisions Lucy had been allowed to make about her wedding day was who she wanted walking her down the aisle. In replacement of her mother and as someone who meant a lot to both her and Natsu, Anna had been the perfect choice that no one could really argue with.

"I'm here, Lucy!" Anna called, waving her hand as she entered the room, awestruck by how radiant the bride looked in her glistening gown, "Wow! Don't you look stunning! Then again, the Heartfilia gene has yet to fail us." She winked and smiled, "Let's hope this baby follows the same path, hmm?"

Chuckling, Lucy smiled for the first time that morning, feeling a sense of comfort and relief with Anna around. She shared the same kind disposition and caring nature her mother once had; maybe it was a Heartfilia thing? But if Lucy closed her eyes for just a moment, she could almost trick herself into believing Layla was standing right there with her. Maybe, in some weird way, she was, and that's all the young blonde could hope for.

"Time to go!" Erza bellowed, shooing them all out of the door, "We have a wedding to attend!"

On the other side of town, up on the hill where the small cottage stood, a very different story was unfolding, one of complete bedlam, and no one, not even Lucy, should've expected any different.

"Dammit! Why do I have to wear this ridiculous thing anyway?" Natsu grumbled, pulling at the tie around his neck, unhappy that he'd been forced to wear it instead of his beloved scarf. "It's tryin' to choke me, I swear!"

"I don't think it's alive, Natsu…" Happy uttered, having watched his friend battle the urge to destroy the thing for the past ten minutes.

"Yeah, but if it was, I'd totally beat it and burn it to the ground!" Fisting the air in triumph over his imaginary brawl with the inanimate object, the fire breather sniggered.

"You could just burn it now."

The fire mage's smirk turned into an all out evil grin as he went to summon his fire, reaching for the offending material dangling over his shirt.

"Although, I doubt a certain scary lady in armour would be too pleased… Not after everything she went through to get you to wear it in the first place."

And then it all came crashing down again, his need to set fire to it dissipating. He knew better than to go against something Erza had chosen and groaned obnoxiously, throwing his head back onto the pillows in a huff, causing hot smoke to seep from his mouth, "Stupid tie… Stupid Erza…"

Hearing a thump next to him, his eyes rolled to the side, his neck twisting in turn, only to find that Haru had slumped down onto his back as well.

His large blue eyes were fixed on his father's mouth and his lips were pursed slightly as he continued to stare. Then, with a look of determination, he blew with all his might, over and over again in the hopes of forming his own puff of smoke.

Unable to keep his amusement in, Natsu turned over to observe the baby closer, intrigue furrowing his brows and fascination lighting up his face when an untimely idea came to mind.

"Hey Happy, d'ya think Haru might be able to learn magic soon?" He contemplated the thought for a moment as he sat himself up, pulling the little one up with him.

Stopping to think about it, the exceed scrunched his nose up in disbelief, not entirely sure if now was really the time to be having such thoughts, "Really? But he's only just learnt to walk."

"I know, but look at him. He seems to want to." Natsu wasn't sure if he'd even be able to teach him how to breath fire, not without the use of dragon slayer magic and that was off the table. But then again, that wasn't the only thing he could show him. "It'd be kinda cool to see, don't ya think?"

"Uh… I'm not sure now is the time, Natsu… you don't wanna be late." Happy erred on the side of caution, but after one look of his friends scheming face, he was quick to give in, "Then again, it would be pretty cool to see what he does, I guess."

"That's the spirit! We got some time to kill before that Snowflake gets here anyway, so might as well have a little fun." Natsu grinned wickedly, ideas of how to go about it swirling around in his head. "Hey little guy, come 'ere! Daddy's got something to show you!" Igniting his palm, he watched excitedly for Haru's reaction to his magic.

The little boy, although startled at first, stared in wonder at the tiny flame so close to his face, and watched it flicker with the slight movements of his father's hand. It was captivating to be within reach of such burning hot fire, even if he'd seen it so many times before. Although the bright heat was something he so readily associated with Natsu, being this close to it was a first for him, and that made it all the more thrilling.

"Fire!" The child exclaimed, using the springs of the mattress to bob up and down in his excitement.

"Heck yeah, it is! And now that it's just us, we can be awesome fire dragons together, right Haru?" Natsu sniggered like the mischievous imp he was, and brought the kids hand up next to his ignited one.

But after taking one look between his and his father's hands, the little boy pulled away again, a sad expression adorning his sweet face as he stared into his empty palm, "No…" He mumbled, his bottom lip jutting out and his eyes filling with tears, "No!"

"I don't think he understands, Natsu." Happy interjected, not convinced the boy was anywhere near old enough to fully grasp how to handle magic.

"'Course not—not yet anyway. But he will one day, and it's gonna be the best!" The slayer kept his smile as he guided the little boy onto his lap, ruffling his thick hair affectionately to cheer him up again, "Chin up, kiddo! It takes a long time to learn how to wield magic. But with some practice, you'll be the toughest little dragon around, you'll see."

Listening to that calming tone, the child glanced up at his adoring parent, comforted by the big grin that always managed to reach his eyes, a gentle touch that embodied the very bond they shared. The mood was infectious and with a little coaxing, the small boy couldn't keep his lips from curving upwards, brightening the room around them once again.

With newfound courage, he reached his arm back out, placing it near to Natsu and waited expectantly, "Oh, so you do wanna be a dragon, huh? Alright then, but ya gotta give me your best roar first!" Natsu smirked, proud to have taught his son the 'non-magical' version of roaring (aka shouting really loudly) at the very least. And he did just that; at the top of his voice; no encouragement needed, "Whoa! That was super awesome, little guy! Now let's see how you handle this!"

"If you're about to do what I think you're gonna do, then I hope for your sake, Lucy never finds out." Happy warned, not wanting to take any responsibility for what was inevitably about to happen.

"Hey! I'm not stupid enough to burn down my own house. What do you take me for, an idiot?" The answer was yes, but Happy's restraint held strong, knowing he'd be heard even if he'd muttered it under his breath. Natsu, on the other hand, took no heed and brought both hands out this time, taking hold of the chubby little ones waiting for him, "Are ya ready?"

Igniting the flames once more, Haru watched the blazing magic slowly seep onto his fingers, a gentle warmth tingling his flesh, enough to make him flinch as it encased each tiny fist. After a few unsure moments, and the opening and closing of his palms, his blue eyes lit up with a wonderment only children seemed to possess, his very soul shining just as brightly as the flames he'd been gifted.

"Daddy! Daddy, fire!"

Natsu chuckled, as he leant back on the bed, using his now fireless hands to prop himself up, "Haha! I knew you had it in ya! Now you get to be just like a real fire dragon, and as long as you play with it on me, you can't burn anything, either." It was fool proof, he was certain of that. And with the look of sheer astonishment on that cute little face in front of him, Natsu could hardly contain himself.

"Yeah, right! Like you're one to talk…You're the first person to destroy things. It's why we never have any money." It was true and Natsu knew it, but that didn't stop the unimpressed glare he sent Happy's way.

"Why else do you think I put him in my lap?" The slayer tilted his head, his annoyance short lived, "He can't burn me so it's fine, and he's not really wielding fire, it's just pretend." He added, his infamous grin returning, and attention now fully diverted from the child he was supposed to be watching, "They'll go out before long."

"Sure, but, uh… I think Haru may have different ideas…" The exceed said, quietly gesturing to the boy in his lap.

"Huh? How so?" The fire mage asked, but by the time he'd turned around to see, it was already too late, "Haru!"

With one touch from the child's fingers, the fire caught on to the covers they were sitting on and spread like a fuse to a bomb.

"Get out of the way!" It lit up the entire bed in a flash, giving Natsu only seconds to get Haru off of it in time before they both landed in heaps on the floor.

It'd gone up so quickly; such was the destructive nature of those flames, and now his and Lucy's bed, the very bed they slept in every night, was a pile of smoking ash on the floor, the fire extinguished along with it.

Silence. All that could be heard was the silence…

"I… I-I'm dead… I'm so dead…" The dragon slayer's voice was barely a whisper, and his horrified expression said it all. The crushing weight of impending doom loomed over him and no amount of blinking was going to bring back their disintegrated bed, no matter how hard he tried.

What was he going to do? He'd been in control of the situation; he had a plan and it was fool proof. Not a few seconds he'd peeled his sights away from the child—just a few damn seconds and now...

And what about Lucy? She'd be furious, no… outraged by it all! He'd be seeing her in less than thirty minutes from now; how could he look her in the eyes, say their vows, then tell her she'd be sleeping on the couch?! That was a conversation that ended badly no matter what way he looked at it.

"You were saying?" Happy teased, covering his mouth with his paw, the rare look of mortification on his friend's face was priceless.

"Lucy's going to kill me!" His gaping sockets could barely keep his eyeballs from falling out, and his mouth hung low enough he could almost lick the ash off the ground.

"Daddy fire! Daddy fire!" Haru cheered, clapping his hands together while laughing, unaware of the chaos he'd unleashed, seemingly impressed with himself.

"Y-Yeah..." The young man slumped back against the dressing table, the feeling of dread taking over him the more he played out in his mind how he was going to tell his new, and very pregnant wife of the unfortunate news, giving him zero hope for survival, "You're gonna be the end of me, kid!"

"Like father, like son!" It was all too funny for the little exceed, who was attempting, but failing, to stop the flow of cackles escaping his mouth.

"Hey! Stop laughing would ya! It's not funny!" Natsu snapped, the sound of Happy busting his guts slowly grinding away at him.

"But it is! You should've seen your face! Shame Reedus wasn't here to draw the picture!" Happy continued to shriek with laughter, infecting little Haru as well.

"Not you, too!" Natsu complained, but his voice held no real consequence. After all, it was his idea to let the one year old play with fire, and it would be his sorry ass to own up and take responsibility.

"What the hell is going on in here?!" Startled by the unexpected but familiar voice, the trio of boys twisted their heads to see an out of breath Gray standing in the bedroom doorway.

"Oh, it's you… Don't you know how to knock?" Natsu dead-panned, apparently more annoyed by Gray's intrusion than the burnt bed.

"Never mind about that, I ran all the way here 'cause your house is smoking! What did you do this time, fire breath?" Glad to see everyone was fine, the ice mage sighed in relief that it appeared to be nothing serious.

"Hey! Why do people always assume it's me? Maybe it was Happy?"

"But it was you, Natsu."

"Shh! I'm trying to make a point here!"

"It was obviously you, idiot! You're the only pyro here!" Gray shook his head, hardly believing that this was the guy about to get married. "Anyway, we need to get going, or Erza will have our heads."

"But… but what about the bed?" Natsu whimpered like a child, pointing to where it once stood.

"Wait… You burnt down your own bed?! What is wrong with you, Dragneel?! Of all the days to be a bigger idiot than normal, you pick today?" Gray smacked his palm over his face exasperatedly. He hadn't even noticed that it was the bed that'd been burnt, but now it was clear to see where all the smoke was coming from.

"Come on, numbskull! We don't have time for this!" Grabbing hold of the still-in-shock Natsu by the collar, he used his ice magic to freeze all of the ash lain bare on the floor, effectively halting the smoke and yanked his rival out of the house, determined to get to the cathedral on time, "We'll deal with your stupidity later, but right now, you gotta get married and I'm prepared to drag you all the way there if I have to."

Lucy could feel the blood pulsing in her ears, her hand clutched at her belly as the sickness she'd been suppressing all morning finally reared its ugly head. She felt sticky and clammy from the extra adrenaline coursing its way through her body—and was now an appropriate time to say she needed to pee… again!?

"Take a deep breath and try to relax yourself." She heard Anna whisper into her ear as they both stared at the large cathedral doors. "When you walk down that aisle, remember its only you and Natsu that matters, no one else, okay?"

Giving a shy nod, she inhaled deeply, as if that was going to be her last breath and tried to calm herself down.

"Are you ready?"

Bowing her head once more, Lucy could hear the guests grow silent behind the large doors, the loud creaking signifying they were opening. Planting one heeled foot over the threshold, the blonde looked up to everyone that was waiting for her entrance, and it was in that moment time seemed to stand still.

Among the gasps and gleaming faces; the decorated pews and hard stone floor; hazy, chocolate eyes scoured the ancient hall. There they all were; her friends; her family; every single person that held such importance in her heart. It made her happy, ecstatic even, that this joyous day could be celebrated with the people closest to her, the people that'd accepted her for who she was and nurtured her into the person she was today.

She hadn't even realised she'd stopped breathing until her lungs began to ache, forcing her to inhale a large breath of air as her legs began to slowly, and shakily, walk forwards.

Her dress glimmered in the dim light of the medieval building, capturing the eyes of the crowd, lighting up the very aisle as the long train behind her rippled with each step she took towards the altar.

But nobody, not even the keenest of dragon senses could see the pure beauty the way he did. With heat pooling in his belly, he watched the girl he loved make her way towards him, dazzling as brightly as the stars she wielded. His mouth ran dry, and his heart skipped many beats, making him question whether it was just his imagination. She appeared before him within a blink of an eye, and it was all to easy to just wash the others away.

"She's all yours, Natsu." Anna said, releasing her arm from Lucy's firm hold and winked at them both, gladly stepping back to let them take centre stage.

But neither mage heard her as their eyes connected for the first time, too enraptured by what stood before them, too absorbed in their own little world, and nothing could penetrate it.

"You… You look beautiful, Lucy." Natsu wasn't easy to fluster, but the pink tinge on his cheeks told her she'd succeeded. "Really… really beautiful…"

Her own bashfulness became evident too, her eyes soaking in his glorious form as if she'd been starved of him, "You're looking pretty good yourself, Natsu." She studied him up and down, her gaze becoming hungry for more. It wasn't very often she got to see his exceptionally toned body in something so formal, and she was totally going to make the most of it.

"T-Thanks..."

The playful wink and cute chuckle only served to make the pink on his cheeks grow darker, as if this was the first time she'd ever paid him a compliment.

‘Wasn't Lucy the one that usually reacted like this?’ He wondered, unsure why his face was suddenly feeling so hot.

“Although, I have to say, it’s still a little strange seeing you without your scarf on.” She admitted, unable to take her eyes away from his slender neck. Usually it didn’t come off until he was ready for bed… or other, less innocent things.

"You can thank Erza for that! She stole it from me and made me wear a damn tie instead." His petulant tone had the blonde sniggering into her hand, his instant annoyance enough to quash any tension left between them, "She even made Haru wear one."

Lucy glanced over to where Haru was sat in the crowd, who, although dressed in something entirely impractical for a toddler, was happily waving to his mother with the biggest grin on his face, "Poor guy…" She said, waving back, "He does look super cute in it though."

A loud cough from the front halted them in their tracks, finally breaking them out of their little bubble, "When you're quite finished." A loud voice echoed through the cathedral walls, making both mages stand to attention and face the front like naughty school children.

An older gentleman with a bald head and long beard stood before them, his bushy brows making it hard to see where his wrinkles stopped and his eyes began glared impatiently at the pair, tapping his fingers on the book he held in his hands, "Now, let's begin."

With an exaggerated sigh, his voice traipsed along the pages of his book, an aged tone that said he'd spoken these words all too many times before, had read those same lines, and joined countless lovers together in matrimony over the years. He was practised and poised, an elegant and poetic speaker, able to captivate his audience…

Unless they were Fairy Tail, of course, and more specifically a pink haired, impulsive dragon slayer, who's attention span rivalled that of a five year old. He'd zoned out the moment the old guy had started rambling, too interested in getting to the good bit—eating food and kissing Lucy, obviously.

It all sounded like drivel, mindless, unnecessary drivel, that seemed never ending, and the hall was so deafeningly quiet, which, was unnerving to say the least when trying to distract oneself.

Well, except for one faint noise, that was.

Thanks to his excellent hearing, he could hear little Haru babbling from the pews. He was being ever so quiet about it considering his lack of awareness for what was going on, and the sudden urge to turn around and take a peek at what he was doing seemed almost too much for the fire mage.

With the slightest quirk of his head, he glanced back to see the small boy playing with Happy's tail, minding his own business, perfectly content without him or Lucy there.

Satisfied to see the infant playing so calmly, Natsu went to turn back around again when a loud 'Daddy!' stopped him in his tracks. The small boy, who'd not been aware of his father's peeping only a moment ago, was now trying to scramble over the blue exceed to get to him.

"No Haru, you gotta stay there. Stay with Happy!" The desperate fire mage whispered, pointing to the cat as a sheepish grin took over at the chaos he'd caused. "Daddy will be over in a minute, kay?"

"You're making it worse, Natsu, turn around!" Lucy whispered rather loudly, never looking away from the old man still talking as she leaned in.

"Sorry Luce, but I could hear Haru talking to himself. I just wanted to see what he was doing." Natsu explained, rubbing the back of his head in habit, "Not my fault he caught me looking."

"You looked at him first, of course he was going to notice you." She said a little louder, enough that the people sat closest to them could hear.

And that was all he needed for the small smirk to creep its way onto his lips, "Oh, so you were watching, too?"

"N-No…" She stuttered, giving herself away, "I wasn't…"

"Liar."

"Okay, fine. But why do I have to listen to this and you don't? I'm just as bored as you are." She admitted, her whispers getting louder the more irate she became, "Do you know how many times I've had to keep myself from yawning? And I really need to pee, too!"

As important as she knew this part of the ceremony was, it didn't half drag. Couldn't they just say 'I do' and be done with it already? Who cared about some God when her feet were starting to hurt!?

"Well, aren't you full of surprises… Maybe you should've gone before." He sniggered, knowing exactly how to push her buttons, relishing in the glare that had imminent death written all over it.

“It’s not like I’m carrying your baby or anything…” She huffed, crossing her arms.

"Alright, if your that desperate, I could always make him go faster." His face lit up with the most mischievous grin, igniting a small flame on his pointer finger.

"Natsu! You can’t do that! You’ll get us kicked out!” She rolled her eyes, though she appreciated the sentiment.

"Aw, come on! Not even a little singe?" He pointed his fiery finger towards the man in front of them, edging it slowly closer on purpose, "His brows need taking back a bit, don't you think?"

Lucy chortled at the thought, highly amused by the man's enormous brows being set on fire and couldn't stop the giggles that followed, her restraint finally caving, "Maybe just a little bit!"

"Will you two pay attention and turn to face each other." The old man grumbled, none the wiser to their little inside jokes. "Present the rings."

The blonde continued to chuckle as she turned to face her partner in crime, her steady heart picking up pace a little now that they were staring right at each other.

His unwavering smile and silly behaviour was something she had always admired. His ability to lighten any situation, regardless of how grim it may seem, instantly had her smiling along, too.

"Now, Natsu, please say your vows."

Inhaling a deep breath, the young mage knew he'd never been good with words. Lucy had always been the speaker, the writer, the one able to talk her way out of most situations, and although the vows he'd prepared were not long like sappy love letters or poetic or book worthy, they came from the heart and that's all he could offer her.

"Luce… I gotta admit, I never saw this coming." He chuckled, his hand tangled into the hair at the back of his head, "And I know for sure you didn't either, but that's okay because no matter what happens, we'll always be Natsu and Lucy, and we'll always be partners."

Without looking away, he held her shaky hand and slipped the precious ring onto her finger with ease, her delicate skin soft against his loving warmth.

"I've always known you were special to me, it just took a while to realise how much, I guess… And apparently adopting a kid with your best friend isn't normal, so…" He shrugged nonchalantly, never giving it much thought, but earned a giggle from Lucy in return. "But I knew you'd put your all into being the best Mom you could, just like in everything you do. You're a super kind person with so much love to give, it's why you're so precious to me, and I wanna protect that with everything I've got. So, that's my promise to you, Lucy, I will protect your heart, so long as it continues to beat."

She gasped, feeling the air leave her lungs as if she'd been winded. It was short and to the point but those sweet sounding words of his, the very meaning behind them were enough to make her knees tremble. She stared, mouth agape at the man that stood before her, blown away by his promise, astounded that he'd once again found the perfect things to say.

A few unplanned tears escaped as she looked over to the little boy in the pews, then peered down to her rounded tummy, feeling the butterflies and the baby's movements fluttering around inside. So much had changed, and this would be a whole new chapter to add to their never ending adventure, an overwhelming thought that seemed all too much for her to get to grips with.

Feeling a warm hand cup her cheek she looked up to the sweet smile of her lover, the person that meant everything to her, and felt this fingers wipe away her tears. He always had a way of filling her with encouragement, even, it seemed, with just a single gesture.

"Thank you, Natsu. Now Lucy, you may begin." The old guy uttered, his gruff voice quieter than before.

Placing her free hand over the top of his, she brought them both to rest on her belly, her smile reaching her eyes as the small kicks poked at their skin, making them both chuckle.

"Natsu, there are so many things I could say that I admire about you; I could also find an equal amount of things that annoy me, too." His sudden pout made her giggle once again, along with the rest of the guild members, "But that doesn't matter, because that's the person I fell in love with. You're loyal, brave and strong; your silly, impulsive and like to fool about, but you also bring smiles to everyone around you, an ability that only you seem to possess.

I can't remember how many times you've shown me the light, lifted me up in my time of need and carried me until I could stand on my own two feet. Your presence and comfort has always been my safe place, somewhere I can call home. You're such a beautiful person, and I'm so lucky to be able to call you mine."

Tears began to fill her eyes again, and she was sure his had become a little watery too.

"So, in return for all that you do for me, and us as a family, I promise to play with your hair when your motion sick and rub your back when you eat too much." Natsu's cheeks lifted up to his eyes, scrunching them closed in amusement as she, too, grinned back at him.

"I promise to love you with all of my heart, to lift you up in your time of need and put a smile on your face when your feeling down. I promise to be loyal, brave, and strong for you, too; to fool about and make you laugh, and to always be there to stop you from going overboard.

I'll forever stand proudly at your side, and hold your hand through whatever life throws at us. You've shaped me into the person I am today, and if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have this wonderful life, such amazing friends, or a family to call my own." The tears that welled began to spill down her pink stained cheeks, but the smile that had been there all along never wavered from her lips, "You're my everything, Natsu, and you will be until the day I die."

A single tear drop slowly trickled down and dripped off of his chin as his breath hitched in his throat. As time once again stood still, it felt like he and Lucy were the only ones present; no longer able to see the guild watching their every move, or hear the grumpy old man scold them for not paying attention. Lucy was his sole focus and without waiting for the final lines to be read, the young groom impatiently pulled her in, and welded their lips together in a display of affection that had the crowd wooing and whistling for them in celebration.

"Congratulations to the happy couple!" Mira mewled, throwing confetti and flower petals over the two still very much consumed by one another.

"Can you believe it? After all these years, they're finally married!" Levy squealed in her excitement, deafening poor Gajeel in the process.

"Who'd have thought our boy, Natsu, would've ever settled down?" Wakaba stood from his seat, cigarette at the ready.

"Yep! It seems like only yesterday he was pulling pranks and starting fights with the other youngsters." Macao smirked, his arms crossed cockily over his chest.

"That's because it was yesterday, Dad! Natsu hasn't changed that much…" Romeo shook his head at the two old farts, but smiled when he looked back to his idol, "Then again, he does have a family now. I guess getting married just kinda made sense."

"Nothing they do makes sense, kid. You only have to look at 'em to see that." Laxus spoke from the pew behind, his thunder legion companions sat right along with him.

"Yes, but they have made their pairing work. As a team, they're like clockwork and as a couple, they're impenetrable." Erza's smile brightened her face as she glanced on at the two newly weds, proud of her friends and of how far they'd come.

"Alright guys, let's move this to the guild! I wanna get my booze on and the bar is waiting!" Cana yelled, drink bottle already in hand as she, along with most of the others filtered out of the cathedral, not wanting to spoil the couples moment.

Natsu and Lucy, however, were in a bubble all of their own; where soft, tinted lips met hot, firm ones in a passionate battle that neither wanted to lose. But the need for air was far stronger, forcing them to separate and stare into each others eyes as they caught their breaths.

"You know, you're supposed to wait for me to pronounce you husband and wife before embracing like that." The bushy browed man said from behind the altar, glowering at the couple he had no hope of controlling.

"Oh… uh, sorry about that… Kinda got swept up in the moment." Natsu grinned sheepishly, chuckling to ease the tension, while Lucy just hid herself behind him.

"Hmm… Well it doesn't matter now. What does is that you are legally bound. Good luck to you both."

"Thanks!"

They watched the man take his leave, only then noticing that the hall was empty, "Huh… Where'd everybody go?" The fire mage was sure the hall had been filled just a moment ago.

"So you guys finally came up for air, huh?" Gray walked over, he and Juvia, along with Happy and Haru the only ones left. "Everyone's gone back to the guild to wait instead of watch you both suck face. Seriously, how long can you hold your breath for?"

An oblivious Natsu only shrugged, but a blushing Lucy was quick to hide her face from Gray's knowing smirk, turning the opposite way to where Juvia was standing with the little baby in her arms, and the blonde's face lit up instantly, "Oh, look at him! Isn't he just the sweetest? And he didn't cry once throughout the whole thing! What a little sweetheart!"

"Yes, Juvia is quite surprised herself that he stayed quiet. Juvia can't say he does the same at night though." The water mage chuckled through her tiredness, a look Lucy was all too familiar with, "But Juvia doesn't mind, not when Gray is so willing to get up with him."

"Aww, Daddy Gray to the rescue, huh? And here I thought you were worried about the whole thing. Looks like you're doing just fine to me!" Lucy said, turning her attention to the ice mage standing there.

"Worried? Who said I was-?" And then it clicked, "Natsu! You told Lucy what I said? That was just between us!" Gray turned to the fire mage, who, had since recovered his own son from the pews, walking him back to where they were all standing.

"Yeah, I know. That's why I only told Lucy, duh!"

"Don't 'duh' me, you weren't supposed to tell anybody, and that includes Lucy!" If he could've smacked his head on a wall, he would've… Or better yet, smack Natsu's!

"But I tell Lucy everything…"

"Oh, you do, do you? That's funny, because I'm certain there's something you haven't told her yet, right?" The look of fear that flashed across Natsu's face was enough to make the ice mage drop his annoyance in favour of revenge.

"Not told me what? Did something happen?" Lucy cocked her head as she looked up from the cooing baby, her sights flickering between the squabbling duo scowling at each other.

"Should I tell her, Natsu?" Gray's smirk was almost sickening, his own pleasure outweighing the consequences.

"Don't you dare, Popsicle!" The fire mage bit out through gritted teeth, "Or I'll rearrange your face with my fist!" If looks could kill…

"Is anyone going to tell me what's going on?" The curious look on Lucy's face quickly turned to frustration the longer she was kept waiting, "Natsu?" Slowly she traipsed her way over, backing him against the rows of benches.

"Uh oh! Looks like hell is about to break loose..." Happy sniggered from his perch on the altar, high fiving Haru as he began to giggle, too.

"Oh dear… You may have started something there, Gray dear." Juvia said, passing the sleepy newborn over to his father.

"Nah! Natsu had this one coming." He sniggered, shushing the baby back to sleep.

A vein popping on her forehead, Lucy's irritation had just about reached breaking point, "Speak!"

Swallowing thickly, the young man looked up to his very new, very pregnant wife, just like he knew he'd have to and wished momentarily that the ground would swallow him whole, "Well… Uh… I-It's kind of… Um…" What was he supposed to say? "I-I was playing with Haru this morning and, u-uh, stuff happened and our bed is now… gone."

Raising a brow, the girl looked even more confused, "Gone? What do you mean, it's gone?"

"Gone… As in it was there… and now its not." He really wasn't doing himself any favours.

"Natsu..."

"Happy did it!" He panicked.

"Hey! No I didn't, you burnt it! You let Haru play with your fire, not me! I warned you it would end badly, but you wouldn't listen and now-"

"You did what?!" Her eyes were blood red as she glared at the suspecting dragon slayer, her hair reminiscent of a certain Satan soul mage. “You burnt down our bed?!”

It was in times like this he was glad that she couldn't out run him, especially not at the moment, as he pegged it for the exit.

"Natsu Dragneel! Just you wait 'til I get my hands on you!"

Her yelling from behind reminded him of all the times he'd found himself in this exact predicament, whether it be from destroying a building or their bed, it brought a smile to his lips at just how familiar it all felt. It seemed as their evolving relationship and family changed and grew, his vows rang true, they would always be Natsu and Lucy, and that would forever be the same.

With one solid push of the large cathedral doors, he opened them wide, allowing the natural afternoon light seep into the old walls. Readjusting the boy in his arms, and with Happy flying over head, he chanced a small glance back at his livid wife stalking her way over to him, and grinned mischievously, sealing his already doomed fate with his final words, "Come on then, Luce! But you'll have to catch me first!"

Thanks for reading! 

[twistedlymad]

Hello there I love your writing and read your headcannons for riddle with his child it was so sweet I wanted to ask if you could also do one for jade and floyd, only if you want to(:

Let me just say: Due to me experiencing Chapter 4, I have never ever been so happy to see the faces of Azul, Jade and Floyd. I’m just kidding, I already love them when their chapter debuted XD

Of course I’d write for Jade and Floyd!! Leech twins need all the love they can get! I do hope this headcanon is up to your expectations dear Anon! Thank you for requesting and have a lovely day!!

Also, once again, this features an aged up!Jade and Floyd. Side note, the baby is half human, half merfolk!

I hope I wrote their characters well, I may need more practice writing them OwO  (P.S IDK why I spent 5 hours on this.... I hope it was worth it QwQ)

Jade Leech

Jade would be the type of father that’s calm and collected at all times. So, when he finally caught wind of the news of his child, one can only see him having a closed-eye smile on his face. Do not fret though! In fact, internally, he was over the moon! 

He couldn’t believe it at first, he was having a BABY?! A SMALL CHILD?! A LITERAL LIVING CHILD?! So, shock could be found on his face as the realization slowly sunk it’s way into his head. Then, only came the closed-eye smile that I mentioned earlier.

He would go shopping for baby products as preparation for his young one. He would also do research on what would the baby normally eat, what signs would the baby normally show when they’re feeling a certain mood and so on, after all, he hasn’t seen a human/merfolk baby before, let alone take care of one! With the research he’s done, he could apply his newfound knowledge onto the products that he buys for his young one.

Literally, everything is perfect because he is perfect.

When his baby actually arrives, a tear slides down from his eye as he hears the crying sounds of a child, the crying sounds of HIS child. He has never heard anything so precious and cute in his entire life. Once he gets a good look at his young one, more tears start to come out as the nurse hands him his young one. He lets out a gentle smile and hugs his young one close to him, silently swearing to love his young one with all his heart only give the best of the best to his precious little gem.

All the baby products he bought beforehand actually came in handy. They definitely suited his young one well! From the type of food/nutrients his young one needs to eat to the size of their clothing, Jade would have calculated everything down to it’s very last detail. 

He would try to indulge his young one into his hobbies! He would set his young one in a high chair and make small little terrariums in front of them and his young one would just watch in awe. He would explain what he was doing, the type of plants used and his young one would respond either with a small little nod or just random words that they could say.

“And this mushroom is called the Agaricus bisporus. We’ll put some of these in here so your mother can cook something for us when it grows.” “Dada-A-Goo-Ga!!” “Yes, of course! We can’t forget to do that!” 

Jade would also tuck his little one in bed every night and plant a kiss on their head as he slowly exits the room.

Oh! Swimming lessons are a must as his child is also part-merfolk! He would want his child to be able to adapt to both water and land environments at an early age, that way, his young one is able to handle walking and swimming without any problems. He doesn’t want his precious little one to be like him when he first used his legs to walk.

Jade would also teach his young one proper manners and etiquette, or at least try to. He wouldn’t enforce the manners on his young one if they’re uncomfortable with it. But, he still would set a good example for his young one and hopefully his precious one will follow in his footsteps.

He would also take the young one mountain climbing every weekend! He would bring his precious one to go for a hike or just a little walk in a baby carrier. He wants his little one to love nature as much as he does and would look forward to many MANY outdoor activities with his precious one. He would also show his little one all the different types of fauna that could be found during the little trips they take.

As his precious little one continues to grow up, Jade decides to send them to human kindergarten instead of merfolk kindergarten. And since Jade doesn’t really know how human kindergarten worked, he would stick around the school for the first few days, just to observe his little one and what actually happens at the kindergarten.

He may or may not just went there to spy on his little one, making sure they aren’t bullied or whatsoever. Who knows am I right?

He’ll also be more cautious about their feelings. He wants to know that his child is safe and happy and that they aren’t bottling up their feelings whatsoever. At some point, Jade would’ve told his young one about his unique magic, so, lying is not an option at all. But, at the same time, Jade would usually initiate the conversation with his little one, just to let them be comfortable with telling him about either their day at school or just schoolwork in general.

If his young one is having a bad day, expect a lot of bonding time! And I mean A LOT of bonding time. Literally, Jade would either be seen having tea with his young one or just having a small nature walk with them. Anything to cheer his little one up. In the midst of ‘happy-cheeful-father-kid’ time, Jade would ask why they were down.

If the reason was because of schoolwork or just something else in general, he would do his best to help them and make them forget about their troubles by cheering them up.

However, if the reason was because of a person....

Huh? What? That child had to be transferred because they were exposed of their precious lies? Ugh, kids nowadays am I right?

Jade loves his little one with all his heart. Like I’ve said, he only wants the best for them and he would do anything and everything to make sure that his precious little one gets the ABSOLUTE best. He would ensure that his little one is happy and not stressed out at all. In fact, his child loves nature as much as he does and his little one always manages to surprise him with little terrariums of their own. Jade is glad that his precious one can find happiness in the things that he finds happiness in as well. He is very grateful to have this little precious child come into his life and he is very proud of his little one. 

His little one is absolutely glad to have such a perfect and understanding father and they love their father with all their heart as well. They know they could rely on him anytime and they do hope to be like him someday.

I’m sorry, this person is too perfect for me to actually write anything, so, just imagine the perfect father and BAM, you have Jade :’))

Floyd Leech

Okay, to put it in a simple way, everything that I had written for Jade, Floyd is the exact opposite.

I’m just kidding! I don’t wanna be squeezed by him :’)))

Or do I???

All jokes aside! Floyd would the type of father that is fun and carefree all the time! But! He’s also serious when needed. So, when he first heard news of his baby, he is sort of confused. And when someone explained the news to this wonderful goofball, his eyes literally lit up in excitement.

“Ahh? A little fish? I made a little fish?” .... I mean.... He’s not wrong.

In preparation for his little one’s arrival, he would rely on his brother for tips and resources. Don’t get me wrong, Floyd really tries his best to prepare for his little one as he wants to be able to welcome his little one without any problems, it’s just that he doesn’t know how. So, he usually brings Jade along with him as they go buy some baby products together.

Bless this lovely goofball for trying his best.

When the baby actually arrives, he feels a sense of pride as he knows that he managed to bring such a lovely and adorable little one to the world. A wide smile stuck itself on his face as he takes a good look and holds his little fish. He couldn’t BELIEVE that he was holding something so tiny and fragile. He was so shocked by the beauty of his little fish, he didn’t notice tears flowing out from his eyes. At that moment, he swore to love, cherish and protect his little fish and never let anything bad happen to them. 

However, he’s never really taken good care of kids before, so, he is actually kind of scared. He’s afraid that he’ll accidentally hurt his little one so he is EXTRA cautious with his actions whenever he’s handling his little fish. He literally does everything with extra care. For example, if he is feeding his young one, one can find him feeding his little one inside a pillow fort and on top of a big and fluffy pillow. 

Bless this goofball for trying his best x2.

But, as the weeks go by, he would get used to taking care of his little fish. Those fears he had slowly vanished and he’s more comfortable with his little one and he goes back to his carefree self. So, expect some crazy stuff happening when he has fun-time with his little fish. 

f-floYD, PUT THE CHILD DOWN!! DON’T FLING THE CHILD INTO THE AIR!!!

Floyd actually loves hearing his little fish laugh. He would do anything for that cute little giggle or squeal to bless his ears. Funny faces and tickling are his go-to actions to get his little one to smile and laugh in happiness. And when he hears that adorable giggle or laughter, he naturally smiles in response and continues his actions to make more giggles and laughter appear.

Hey, just because Floyd is carefree, that doesn’t mean he won’t discipline his little fish. Sure, his little one can have fun and be happy, but they have to be wary of actions which are okay and not okay. Floyd knows when and where to draw the line. 

If his little fish is tired for the day or absolutely worn out, Floyd would carry his little one to bed and tuck them in. He smiles at his little one’s sleeping form before exciting the room.

Swimming lessons are also a MUST for his little fish. They are half merfolk after all, if they know how to walk, they must know how to swim. Floyd would actually take it upon himself to teach his little fish on the basics of swimming. 

He.... At some point may or may not almost flung his little fish into the water whilst yelling: “Let the water guide you!”

Expect little dancing parties with Floyd and his little one. Whenever Floyd starts to dance, his little fish would end up trying to copy his moves. Floyd takes notice of this and starts to lead his little one to dance along with him. No matter the song and place, the father and child would always have the best time of their lives by dancing.

They also have another method of having absolute fun. Pranking. Literally. Floyd and his little fish would come up with all sorts of pranks to pull on either their families or Floyd’s friends at gatherings. Their pranks could go from just a small and harmless one to one that would flip the entire building upside down. Floyd and his little fish would be howling with laughter every time their pranks had succeeded. If they didn’t, then, good luck taking care of one moody Floyd and one moody child.

As his little fish grows up, Floyd would also send them to human kindergarten as well. Although Floyd would have wanted his little fish to go to merfolk kindergarten instead, he knows that his little fish would probably be uncomfortable there. So, he agrees to send them to human kindergarten. Well, as long as his little fish is happy, he is happy as well.

Floyd KNOWS when his little fish is having a bad day. Somehow, this goofball can sense whenever his little fish is feeling down. As soon as his little one comes home, Floyd is immediately hugging his little one and asking them what’s wrong.

If the problem was just because they were having a bad day in general. Remember all the fun activities I mentioned that Floyd would do to have fun? Yeah, everything happened. It was a day with fun filled to the brim.

However, if the problem was a person....

Looks like someone is getting squeezed soon.

For real, Floyd would have the face he has on his groovy SSR card as he accompanies his little fish to school the next day.

“So... Which one of you fishes made MY angelfish feel sad yesterday?”

May the lord have mercy on all the staff and other children of that kindergarten.

All in all, Floyd absolutely adores and loves his little angelfish for he has never seen anything as perfect as they are. He makes sure that his precious angelfish gets all the joy and fun in the world and knows that he loves them oh so much. His angelfish knows that they’re loved by their wonderful dad and loves him as much as he loves them. Floyd knows it and he is happy to know it.

Bless this goofball of a dad x3

~Little Bonus!~

With the benefit of being twins, both Jade and Floyd would trick their kids sometimes.

Usually, when they get together for play dates, their kids would be extra cautious on who was their father as Jade and Floyd would not even be separated.

“Oya? You thought I was your father? My dear one, your father is over there.” Jade said to Floyd’s child.

“Ehhhh? Me? Jade? No little angelfish, Jade’s over there~” Floyd said to Jade’s child.

Sometimes, they would deny being themselves! Like, Jade would deny being Jade and Floyd would deny being Floyd. 

They would literally say the exact same things that I’ve listed above to their own kids.

This confused the kids SO MUCH. 

I think both kids ended up crying one time.

Feel free to smack the duo for traumatizing their little ones though :)

[patt-writes-stuff]

Could I request a Shinso x reader fluff imagine? Maybe something along the lines of him and reader being in the hero course together and a year or two after graduating they see each other again and reader admits her affection for him even after that long away from each other? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Thank you so much for requesting!!! 💕 I had so much fun writing this that I wrote it all in one sitting. I’m pretty happy with the results and I hope you enjoy it!

Belated Confessions

Pairing: Shinsou x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Like one curse word?

Genre: Fluff

After three years of vigorous training and studying, you along with the rest of your classmates were finally graduating from U.A. High School.

You couldn’t be happier. Your time at high school had been anything but peaceful, what with constantly being targeted by villains and all, but it was all worth it. Soon, you and your friends would become real heroes who’d go out into the world and stop bad guys.

For now, you’d enjoy the graduation party Momo had been kind enough to host at her mansion house. The party doubled as a farewell party since some of your friends had chosen agencies in far away parts of Japan, or even other countries.

One of those people was your close friend and long term crush, Shinsou Hitoshi. The two of you had become fast friends after he joined the hero course in your second year. You bonded over your aspirations as heroes and love of all things cats.

Over the course of your friendship, you’d developed an almost embarrassingly large crush on the indigo haired boy. You planned to tell him as much tonight.

After much convincing from Mina and the other girls, you’d decided tonight would be the night in which you confessed your feelings to him. It could very well be your last chance to secure a future with him in it.

This is why, instead of being inside of Momo’s lavish house celebrating with the rest of your friends, you were outside in Momo’s garden walking through the gravel pathway with Shinsou at your side.

Mina had insisted it would be the perfect place for you to confess, saying the garden had a romantic aura to it. She wasn’t wrong, especially during the night time.

The full moon shone above you, casting a bluish light on the two of you. Stars were splattered over the night sky, twinkling faintly.

They were beautiful, yes, but not nearly as beautiful as the boy next to you.

Realizing you’d been quiet for too long, you took a deep breath, remembering all the pointers the girls had given you.

“So,” you started softly, “how do you feel about moving somewhere else? It must be nerve-wracking.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m a little nervous,” he said scratching the back of his neck, “I’m gonna miss a lot of things from here.”

“What are you going to miss the most?” You inquired, looking at him in the eye as if trying to tell you hoped he said ‘you’.

Instead, he said, “My friends. It’s gonna be hard to stay in touch with everyone. We’re all going our separate ways.”

You froze in your tracks. You hadn’t thought about that.

It was going to be hard to stay in contact with everyone, with everyone starting their new careers. You knew that. What you hadn’t accounted for was the distance. He was gonna be on the other side of the world. It would be difficult to maintain normal relationships, romantic ones would be near impossible.

What if you confessed and he rejected you because of it?

Even worse, what if you confessed to him and he returned your feelings, only to break up because of the distance? You knew what they said about long-distance relationships, they almost never worked out. You could break up and lose him entirely.

Were you willing to take that risk?

He slowed to a halt once he realized you had stopped walking. He looked at you, concern clear as day in his mesmerizing purple eyes.

No. You weren’t.

“Are you okay?” He asked, searching your face for any clues as to why you were suddenly so distressed.

“Yeah, everything’s totally fine,” you assured him, plastering a fake smile on your face, “I’m just a little cold. We should probably get back to the party.”

He seemed nowhere near convinced by your, admittedly, sloppy excuse but agreed nonetheless.

When you got back to the house, he was called over by Kaminari, who was debating with Sero whether or not he would get electrocuted if he stuck a fork into a socket.

Once he was out of earshot, Mina walked up to you. The huge, rather teasing, grin she wore melted away once she got a good look at the expression on your face.

“You didn’t tell him,” it was a statement, not a question but you nodded anyways, “Why?”

“Because he’s moving away and I don’t want to risk losing him as a friend,” you explained, shuffling one shoe a bit against the carpet.

“Ugh, That’s so stupid! You two were made for each other,” she whined, causing you to roll your eyes at your pink friend.

“If we’re ‘meant for each other’ then it’ll happen eventually,” you countered, patting your distressed friend’s back.

——-0——

Two years have passed since graduation. During that period of time, you’d created quite the name for yourself amongst the hero community. You were nowhere near the top ranks yet but you were rather proud of the progress you’d achieved in such a short time.

You loved your job more than anything. Sure, the paperwork sucked and the hours were crazy, but it was so worth it. You got to save people and make a difference in your community. It was truly fulfilling.

That being said, you were currently rethinking your life choices.

You’d been patrolling for what felt like forever. Today had felt especially busy, with villains causing trouble left and right. They were low-level thugs really, nothing life-threatening, but boy did they cause a hassle.

When you got back to the agency, you were tired and sore, not to mention hungry. You wanted nothing more than to go home, change into the comfiest clothes you owned, and get some food that wasn’t a quick convenience store snack in your system.

Only instead, you had piles of paperwork to fill out.

You finished well after 5 p.m. Once you did, you wholeheartedly refused to cook something, opting instead to visit the Cafe near the agency.

It had great food and the owners let their pet cats roam around the place. You and Shinsou would often frequent it back in high school to spend time with the cats on weekends.

Thinking of Shinsou, you couldn’t help but miss him terribly. You kept in contact as best as you could, with your busy schedules and conflicting time zones, but you’d drifted away. It was nobody's fault, really, circumstance was really just a bitch.

You’d tried to get over him by going out with other people but it never worked out. Sometimes they just couldn’t seem to handle your hectic career, other times they didn’t get your sense of humor. Most of the time they just weren’t enough like a certain someone.

You entered the cafe, a dinging noise announcing your presence. You went up to the counter, ordered your food, and then plopped into what used to be your usual booth back in the day.

Your favorite cat, Mochi, a tortoiseshell and white cat jumped up to the table, demanding your attention. You smiled tiredly, giving her the pats she so greatly desired.

“You have it easy Mochi,” you told her, “All you have to do all day is be adorable. I have to chase around smelly old villains.”

“That’s true,” a very not cat, very familiar voice said, “but somehow I can’t help but think that your life is much more interesting than hers.”

You whipped your head around only to be face to face with Shinsou. He hadn’t changed much after two years. His hair was crazy as ever, indigo locks shooting all over the place and he still had his trademark dark circles under his eyes. He definitely had more muscle though, showing that his time working outside the country had paid off.

“I don’t know about that, Mochi here sees a lot of people every day,” you joked, breaking out in a grin. You stood up, much to Mochi’s displeasure, to pull Shinsou into a bone-crushing hug. After probably a little more time than strictly necessary, you let go, looking up at him. He seemed taller than he had been last time…

“You didn’t tell me you were back in Japan!” You exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger his way. You sat back down, motioning for him to take a seat on the other side of the table.

“I wasn’t planning on telling anyone until I was settled into my new place. We both know Kaminari is gonna drag me into the nearest night club the moment I do,” he explained, sitting down and rubbing the cat's ears affectionately.

“You’re moving back to Japan? That’s amazing!” You were sure you were practically glowing right now, radiating pure, unadulterated happiness.

The two of you talked about everything and anything. From his life abroad to the new agency he’d be working at to how all your classmates were nowadays. There was never a lull in the conversation, both of you happy to be in each other’s presence after so long.

Eventually, the two of you had to leave, since the cafe was closing for the night. So, after petting all the cat's goodbye, both of you exited the building.

Your apartment was very close by but Shinsou insisted on walking you home. You agreed since neither of you was quite ready to say goodbye to one another quite yet.

“I gotta ask,” you started, “how come you came back? Did you not like it there?”

“It was fine. There was just something, someone, missing. It didn’t feel like home,” he sounded almost bashful and maybe it was a trick of the streetlights shining dimly above you, but you could’ve sworn he was blushing.

After that, the two of you walked in comfortable silence for a bit.

Something about the atmosphere reminded you so much of the night of the graduation party two years back. Maybe it was how you were once again walking side by side under the moon and stars or maybe it was because for the first time in two years you felt butterflies in your stomach.

“You know back in high school I had the biggest crush on you ever,” you blurted out once you stopped at your building’s entrance. You were mortified. Why would you just say that?

“Oh,” was all he said after a beat of silence.

“Yeah,” you said, “I was gonna tell you during the party. Ask you out and stuff. But then...I didn’t.”

You might as well tell him everything. Maybe now you could finally move on, try seeing other people without wondering about the ‘what if’s.

“I would’ve said yes. I- uh- I still would, actually,” if he wasn’t blushing back then, he was definitely blushing now. Then again, you probably looked much more flustered than he did right now.

With your heart beating a mile a minute, you asked, rather shyly, “Do you maybe wanna go out sometime?”

“I’d love to.”

You both stood there for a minute, looking at each other like lovesick fools, fully content.

“I should get going,” said, snapping out of his slight daze, “it’s getting pretty late. I’m sure you have work tomorrow.”

He moved to leave but before he could, you grabbed his wrist, pulling him back. He looked at you questioningly but you just smiled, getting a bit on your tippy-toes for a long-overdue kiss.

Somewhere else in Japan, Mina’s romance senses were tingling

Tags: @wesparklebitch

[justkeeptrekkin]

Hi M anon!! I’m so sorry this took me so long. I’ve played around with the idea a bit, hope you don’t mind. Tagging @a-shipping-life who requested something similar. Enjoy!!

***

“This is....”

Crowley’s voice trails off as he views his surroundings. When he’d imagined post-armageddon, he had always thought of fire and brimstone. Or, depending on how the war ended, sickening rounds of celestial harmonies, on repeat- listening to it all from behind bars in a pit. Instead, three years into the Third Testament, the New Era, the Age of Satan’s Spawn, and Crowley’s attending children’s birthday parties. Apparently.

The back garden of the Young family household is perfect for a party- according to Azirphale. A nice little closed off area, with some nice bunting and nice cake and a nice view of the Cotswolds rolling in the distance. Kids and family friends, together, having a nice time. All a bit too nice for Crowley’s taste, who’d preferred the bratty parties Warlock’d had, with nasty children and inappropriately dangerous presents (Nanny Ashtoreth had been the one to anonymously give Warlock a bow and arrow set).

Crowley takes his stand beside Aziraphale, wincing at the ensuing fourteenth birthday party. He needs a shot of insulin with how sweet this event is. He eventually manages: “This is. Ugh.”

“It is not ugh,” Aziraphale tuts, rolls his eyes. “Birthdays are nice.”

“Exactly. Nice is ugh.”

Aziraphale casts him a reprimanding glance, but a smile is pulling at the corners of his lips. He looks Crowley up and down judgmentally and passes him a plastic cup. “Here.”

“What’s this?”

“Punch.”

“I’m assuming not the alcoholic variety.”

“It’s a fourteenth birthday party, Crowley.”

“What? The Youngs could be more progressive than you think. What harm did a bit of vodka do a teenager. Do teenagers not drink nowadays? I find it hard to keep track.”

“Not till his sixteenth,” Aziraphale says. Eyes scanning the party with as much wariness as Crowley’s had. Adults eating cake from paper plates, teenagers sitting on the grass and sulking at how lame this is.

“I can- I can almost guarantee that lot will have had a cheeky WKD before sixteen,” Crowley mutters into the plastic cup of punch.

Their gazes find The Them, who are sat on the garden bench and on the grass, conspiring amongst themselves. And Crowley thinks that whilst a couple of them aren’t really that badly behaved, Adam has a mischievous streak about him, and the others follow suit. The Youngs are probably struggling to keep up with their teenage son. But then, better the little devil use his powers to make a fake ID to grab a six pack of Strongbow from the corner shop, than to destroy the world.

Just as he’s considering this, the four of them look up at Aziraphale and Crowley. As if they’ve been talking about them.

Crowley sighs, peering at them over the rim of his glasses. “Yep. That lot are trouble makers.”

“It- are they talking about us?”

“Looks like.”

Aziraphale pouts his lips. “Teenagers.”

For a moment, they simply stand at the periphery of the party and survey. Newt and Anathema are here, who they could probably hold some awkward conversation with (“So… world didn’t end then.” “Apparently.”), however, they’re currently occupied by some of the guests from the village. And there’s a lot of other people who’ve been invited by Mr and Mrs Young who seem to be here for their benefit rather than Adam’s.

“Why are we here again?” Crowley whines.

“Because we’re his godparents.”

Crowley wrinkles his nose, peers down at the red juice that’s calling itself punch and doesn’t have nearly enough rum in it. “Not officially.”

“You were the one who assigned us that term, remember?” Aziraphale prompts.

“Suppose.” Then, because he’s feeling brave. And he gets these bouts of bravery when he’s in Tadfield. “How’s about after this we find the nearest pub and pissed. You can crash at mine afterwards.”

There’s a moment when he looks like he’s going to argue, twisting his lips primly and casting fleeting glances at Crowley. All coy. Crowley loves every daft bit of him. “Yes. That does sound good.”

“We can wash down the niceness of this pa- uh-oh. Here they come.”

Aziraphale picks up the slice of cake that he’d laid on the table behind him. A forkful hovering just in front of his mouth. “Sorry?”

“Teenagers, twelve o’clock.”

Aziraphale reluctantly lowers the fork, puts it down on the paper plate and surveys The Approaching Them. Adam at the front. And then the others disperse- going inside to do something more interesting, Crowley supposes. Now, with just Adam, it feels less like they’re about to be ambushed. The boy looks at them with that quietly expectant look he has, and has had since he was eleven when they first met. Though he’s a few inches taller than he used to be.

Dog trots by Adam’s side, and looks up at Aziraphale, pleading silently. Aziraphale brings the plate of cake closer to his chest and narrows his eyes at Dog.

“Thanks for coming,” Adam says, though he doesn’t look massively excited.

“Are you having a nice time?” Aziraphale asks pleasantly.

Adam shrugs. “Not really. Mum and dad invited all their friends and none of mine. Apart from you two, and Anathema and Newt. And obviously Pepper and people. It would be a lot nicer if there weren’t all these annoying old people, too.”

Crowley nods in grim understanding, curls his lips in disregard for said old people.

“Oh,” is Aziraphale’s reply. Then, smile wavering, “Well, it’s nice to see at least that there are people here who care about you, no?”

“They don’t even really know me,” Adam shrugs. “They aren’t here for my birthday. They’re here for the free cake and to boast about their lovely little middle class lives. It’s the perfect opportunity for bourgeoisie posturing under the guise of a birthday party- it’s actually really shallow.”

So this is teenaged Adam. And no less, Adam as a teenager being influenced by Anathema. Aziraphale looks a bit lost for words, but Crowley’s grinning like a loon.

“Well said,” he drawls through his smirk. “Any good presents?”

“Got a Nintendo Switch.”

“Very good,” Crowley replies seriously.

“Anyway,” Adam sighs, “The others have gone inside to find lactose free snacks. I should go help.Brian’s lactose intolerant now.”

“Oh, what a shame,” Aziraphale says sincerely.

“See you later.”

Adam traipses inside, and Dog follows chirpily. Aziraphale and Crowley watch them disappear.

“He’s going to be…” Aziraphale shakes his head, exhales through pursed lips.

“Ball-buster, that one.”

“Yes.”

Some very nondescript music plays distantly. It looks as if Mr Young is attempting to hook up his phone to bluetooth speakers and is struggling, crouching on all fours to inspect the wiring. There isn’t any wiring, is the problem. It’s a wireless speaker system. But that doesn’t seem to have occurred to Mr Young- bum in the air and face buried in Apple technology.

“Oh- oh bother. Why am I like this?”

Crowley turns to see Aziraphale has dropped cake down his waistcoat. He’s holding out the offending plate of cake and frowning at the mess- multi-coloured frosting and sprinkles everywhere. Dog is absolutely delighted, eating the scraps by Aziraphale’s feet.

Aziraphale gives Crowley his sad, cherub eyes. Crowley looks back, pouts his bottom lip. Oh, diddums.

“Would you…?” Aziraphale asks. Looking at him through his lashes.

He gives it a long moment- gives Aziraphale a few seconds to enjoy himself, gives Aziraphale the impression that he needs to work to convince Crowley. He doesn’t.

Crowley snaps his fingers, cake gone. More than that, he turns to fetch him another slice.

And he makes that little flustered smile. The one that makes Crowley putty in his stupid angelic hands. “Oh, thank you.”

“Alright, alright,” Crowley waves a dismissive hand over his shoulder as he goes to get more cake.

There’s the cake- half of it left, at least eight slices. There’s the stack of paper plates. He looks up- no one around. He takes a slice as quickly as he can, not wanting to be cornered by any of the horrifically boring guests.

Then:

“Can I ask you a question?”

Crowley spins round to find Adam. Oh, that’s fine. Adam’s not a boring octogenarian. “Questions? Love questions. Shoot.”

“None of the others believe me,” Adam starts, hands in his pockets, expression as cool and collected as ever. “I’m pretty convinced, but it seems rude to tell them I know when I haven’t even asked.”

“Asked what?”

He’s busying himself with cutting a slice of cake, paying attention but not feeling the need to give Adam his undivided attention. That is until:

“You two are married. Aren’t you?”

A perfect slice of cake had been balanced on the knife in Crowley’s hand. And then Adam had said that. So now, he’s got a perfect slice of cake splattered all over the table. And Adam’s got a speechless demon, steaming from the ears. Literally, steaming from the ears.

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-”

“So,” Adam’s eyes widen a little, and he nods slowly. “You’re… not. Married.”

“I’m- you’re- what? Who- why’re- listen,” he says, pointing a paper plate at the son of Satan, “You have no- what did- did he? Where did-”

This could take forever, and they both know it. Crowley’s mouth is a broken record. His brain has disconnected itself entirely from the rest of his body. For a demon who can speak multiple languages, who can speak tongues, he can’t for the life of him speak any of them well. Thus, Adam makes the executive decision of saving him from this never-ending, hellish loop of inarticulacy.

“Sorry for making it weird,” he says, not looking that sorry, “The two of you are just so obviously in love, I figured you guys were married. And gay marriage was only legalised recently, cause, like, homophobia and stuff. So I figured that you didn’t have rings because- are you OK? There’s smoke.”

“What?”

“There’s smoke. Coming from your head.”

Right, so he’s progressed straight from steaming from the ears to smoking. Fantastic, perfect, excellent. It’s probably from the speed that his thoughts are spinning; his brain going so fast, so out of control that it’s generated enough mental friction to cause a fire. Thoughts like-

-me and Aziraphale married a wedding what would we wear where would we live would we live together perhaps we’d have a garden and I could cook for him and he could knit me socks like the socks he gave me for Christmas two years ago and oh holy fuck is it that obvious that I love him does he realise does Aziraphale know does he love me back he loves me he loves me not he loves me he loves me not he loves me-

-OK, he can smell the smoke now. Just wonderful.

Then, from across the garden, Crowley hears Aziraphale exclaim: “Married?”

Pepper is staring at him like he’s an idiot. Aziraphale’s staring back at her like he’s gone catatonic. Holding an empty paper plate. Mouth hanging open. Eyes widening slowly, like the THX theme music should be playing in the background.

And then Aziraphale’s head snaps round to look at Crowley. Looking, as far as he can tell, absolutely mortified.

Crowley stares back.

Adam stares.

Pepper stares.

Crowley puts down the cake knife and takes a deep, nerve-steadying breath. Because whilst the world hadn’t really ended three years ago, it feels a bit like it has now.

Time to face the music, he thinks.

***

Part two possibly will be written if people want one...

[mytastessuck]

Ween: Quebec

LAh, Quebec. Hated upon its release, nowadays considered Ween's best album. Listening to this album, modern-day listeners may wonder why this album received such a chilly reception when it came out. Well, in between Gener's divorce, Claude's near-fatal car accident and just a general shitty time to be members of the band, the mood of this album felt drearier and noticeably more cynical than their other records. In some respects, this album is heavier than The Oneness and sloggier than The Pod. But its rawness works to its advantage in that this is one of the realest examples of art I've ever listened to and the fact that Ween could get this out while going through the wringer says a lot about their talent, determination and how blessed they are by the Boognish.

Let's get started.

1. It's Gonna Be A Long Night

As far as Motorhead tributes go, this is most likely the best. Try to find a better parody of Lemmy's voice. Don't try. You'll be embarrassing us both. This track goes hard as fuck while still being something you blast out your window while you pick your niece up from school. Bonus points for the scream at the end.

1975/10

2. Zoloft

Best tribute to a drug I've ever heard. Only pussies sing about cocaine and heroin. Real musicians give tributes to behavioral-modifying over-the-counter pills that let you deal with jackasses all day. Ween knows their drugs and they know who the real hero is.

25/10

3. Transdermal Celebration

Ladies and Gentleman, my second favorite song of all time.

When I heard this song for the first time, I broke down in tears. The guitar work (thanks to Carlos Santana's stolen guitar, oddly enough), the beautifully sung lyrics, the sheer mental imagery...I can't put it into words which makes me a really shitty reviewer now that I think of it but that's what you guys came for. I have three different versions of this song on my playlist and really, nothing makes me feel closer to understanding what it's all about besides this song and another one. This song...is universe.

ℵ0/10

4. Among His Tribe

A peaceful song about a day in the life of a man in a tribe. Pretty chill fare. Very cool to mellow out to while imagining how people from you might leave. Always a nice venture.

10/10

5. So Many People In The Neighborhood

A nice paranoid ditty about your neighbors. Bizarre instrumentation but it asks an important question about your neighbors: are they good people?

...

...They aren't.

9/10

6. Tried And True

A nice song to sing along with when you're around other people. If some brave soul asks where the song's from, say it's from the 60s. Hell, tell them it was by Harry Nilsson. That'll put an old dog toy in their craw.

11/10

7. Happy Colored Marbles

Here we get to the meat of the album, where one side of a man wonders about people's mental state why the other side just thinks about playing with marbles. Well, we don't have to pay any attention to the first part. It's not like it foreshadows anything about where the tone is going with the son---WOAH, THAT'S FUCKING LOUD! Jesus, is this what they play to get the guys on Twitch to scream like that?

2500/10

8. Hey There Fancypants

Ah, finally after all that horrid nonsense, we finally get to listen to proper music! Yes, this is a delightful tune that one can play in front of beloved Queen Victoria before we are taken into the Royal Loo in order to perform the Sacred Cunnlingus, as one is wont to do. Yes, if those Ween folks focused more on making music like this instead of all that other dreck, we might actually be able to do something about this Indian problem once and for all!

10/10

9. Captain

A song to be played at night while you're sailing back to shore as you see a storm gathering overhead. No other situation is appropriate.

9/10

10. Chocolate Town

Time to head down to Chocolate Town where all the folks look at you like you don't belong there, whether you were born and raised there or not. That's the vibe I get from this song or not. Seriously though, nice of Ween to creep a bit of darkness into such a pleasant sounding song. Always a sucker for that shit.

10/10

11. I Don't Want It

Love how this song manages to capture the feeling of how it feels to watch a relationship crumble before your eyes without being able to stop it. The divorce really shows it swinging dick in the latter half of the album and its super apparent on this track. I don't want to wish this situation on any of you but for those that have experience this...remember to hold onto the memories.

11/10

12. The Fucked Jam

Ugh, this song always makes me uncomfortable. I don't know if it's the voices or the instrumentation or chiptune-like mumbling but...yeah, this song just weirds me out in the wrong way. Nothing offensive here though.

5/10

13. Alcan Road

Ah, finally back on solid ground. Nice tune to trip out to while imagining yourself levitating up a mountain. Nice shit and a real step up.

9/10

14. The Argus

One of Ween's more downcast songs and it earns its tune by being one of their darker works. May the Argus cast his compassion upon us indeed.

10/10

15. If You Could Save Yourself (You'd Save Us All)

Gene really airs it all out on this track and fuck, it's some of the rawest shit I've heard in music. He lets out all of the frustration he had about the marriage in one song and he kills it in a way that Taylor Swift, Eminem, or Carly fucking Simon could only aspire to. Great way to vent about divorce and great way to end an album.

11/10

Album Score: ℵ0+4605/10

Next time, we review White Pepper, probably Ween's second most underrated album. See you then.

[purplesurveys]

1278

Social Media Survey

[joybucket]

What is your favorite social media site?  Either Twitter or YouTube, though I never use YouTube as a social media site per se so I guess this round goes to Twitter.

Do you use...

facebook? myspace? twitter? snapchat? instagram? youtube? pinterest? bzoink? another site with message boards? tumblr? deviantart? xanga?

Facebook

Do you get on Facebook every day?  Yeah pretty much all throughout the day. I used to never use it, like never ever; but back in college all announcements were coursed through Facebook so I was technically required to be on it regularly, and it was from there that I began to see memes and start to be more active. I’m a shitposter more than anything though and I rarely ever post stuff of my own. How many FB friends do you have?  I have 679 at the moment but I want to get rid of like 500 of them; it’s just such a long list to go through so I never get to proceed with my unfriending spree lol.

Have you ever been on a deleting spree?  HAHA I just mentioned that. I’ve always wanted to, but like I said 679 is already such an exhaustive list for me, and that’s considering I only started touching my Facebook in like 2019. I can’t imagine people who started Facebook in like 2009 and have 4000 friends aka most people I know.

Have you blocked a lot of haters?  I don’t have haters; at least I’m not aware of any that I have. Not that it’s something I care about at this point.

Do you get bullied online a lot?  No, but that’s also because I don’t really open the channels for people to send in hate. I don’t have Q&A handles like Curious Cat and I never pick out that option in Instagram where people can send in questions.

What's your favorite Facebook app?  Oh I never use Facebook for their apps. Are those still even a thing...? Anyway, I mainly go there to be on the hunt for stupid memes I can reshare or to watch videos that are either funny or informative.

Are you a fan of selfies?  I don’t mind if other people do it, but I think I’m honestly bad at selfies so I almost never take them. I’ve never figured out my angles or what filters look ok on me.

Has anyone ever called the police on you because they didn't like your status?  No but I have had my posts reported because they were deemed ‘offensive.’ Which is weird because my posts that have been taken down are those that speak out against disgusting men, which says a lot about Facebook runs their shit more than anything else.

Are you in any facebook groups?  I’m in nearly a hundred groups, both private i.e. for school purposes, and public.

Are you the admin of any groups?  Nah. Too much time and effort needed out of me.

Do you report abuse to group admins whenever you see it?  Yes. I report the post then leave the group.

What could make Facebook better?  They could put more effort into detecting and banning troll farms.

What year did you start using Facebook?  I made an account in 2012 because of a high school class that required us to upload this specific video-format homework onto Facebook (which in hindsight is such an insensitive homework considering that was nearly a decade ago when the Philippines was still severely behind in internet connection speeds?? Ugh). But I didn’t start actively using my account until around two years ago.

What is your current profile picture of?  Myself, posing in front of the sunflowers in school during the recent graduation season.

Did you like the old Myspace better than Facebook?  I was never a regular user of Myspace, so...

Pinterest

What are some of your favorite boards?  I’ve never had a clue what the purpose of Pinterest was. I mean I have an account...but I’ve also never gotten the hang of it?? so I never touch it hahaha.

Have you ever done a craft you saw on Pinterest?  Well no, because I’m terrible at arts and crafts anyway.

Do you have a Dream Wedding board? If so, what's on it?  No.

If you have a Dream House board, what does your dream house look like?  Ok fine this one I did start hahahah but I don’t even remember what I added on there anymore. I’m sure it was filled with modern-style houses with minimalist interior design.

Do you wish they'd bring the "like" button back?  I’m not even aware of this option.

Do you have a Bucket List board?  Not aware of this either.

Which do you like better: Just Girly Things or And That's Who I Am? The second one sounds less childish. < Same, and it sounds like it covers more.

Do you have a board for tattoos you like? If so, what are some of your faves?  No. The only one I ever made was the house one, then Pinterest quickly became boring from there when I realized there wasn’t much else I could do besides making mood boards.

Do you have a "Random" or "Miscellaneous" board?  No.

Have you ever reached the maximum number of boards?  No.

Do you have any secret boards?  No.

Have you ever had a Pin deleted because of copyright laws?  No.

Do you have a Color board? No.

Do you have an About Me board? If so, what's on it? No.

YouTube

Do you have a YouTube channel? If so, what is it?  Technically I do but I only have it so I can tailor video suggestions to my interests and so that I can like videos and subscribe to channels I like.

What kind of things do you post on YouTube?  I’ve never posted any video on there, not even private ones. I’m also not the type to comment.

What do you like to watch on YouTube?  These days YouTube serves as a stress reliever for me, which is to say I would typically go for humorous BTS-related compilations because there are sooooo many hilarious channels that make these great videos haha. Occasionally I’d go back to channels or series that I used to frequent, like Good Mythical Morning, Buzzfeed’s Worth It and Unsolved, Try Guys, Watcher, etc. 

Are you subscribed to any channels?  To so many.

Do you watch any vlogs? If so, what ones are your favorite?  Hm probably Jiwoo’s, though her channel is called Mejiwoo. I find her content calming and conversational and basically fun to binge-watch when I’m not looking for anything super super particular to watch.

If you have a channel, how many subscribers do you have?  0. I’m just a lurker.

Will you subscribe to my channel? (msg me if you want a link!)  Only if it’s really fit to my interests, I guess.

Do you watch music videos?  Rarely; not a fan of MVs in particular. I only really ever put an exception for BTS.

Have you ever watched a TV show on youtube?  Well no since their copyright team works hard and works fast lol. I do watch entire video game walkthroughs from time to time.

Have you ever worked out to exercise videos on youtube?  No, I can’t care less about working out tbh.

Have you watched Amanda Todd's famous video?  No. I’m scared that it might be too upsetting or triggering for me.

Have you ever looked up how to do something on YouTube?  Not really, I prefer looking up articles that can teach me step by step in words.

Do you get a lot of hate comments on youtube?  No, I’ve never posted anything on there.

How long have you been a youtuber?  Never been.

Instagram

Do you post on Instagram a lot?  I do 1-3 Instagram stories in a week, I would say. As for posts, I only have 4 in total and I don’t really feel the pressure to add more. I just post when I feel the want to.

Have you ever posted a poll on instagram?  Nah, I’m not too sure if anyone would participate so I’ve never tried. If you don't have an iPhone, do you wish you could use Instagram?  I’m pretty sure other operating systems can also use Instagram...

Do you have any followers?  Around 50, I think.

Do you like Instagram filters? I’ll use them sometimes to make my stories appear prettier.

Twitter

Do you think twitter is stupid? Hehe show me at least one person who doesn’t think so. < Coming from someone who regularly uses Twitter, agree. It is crazy stupid but stupid is what I’m there for. Which is honestly not always such a bad thing to me - I like that people are more themselves, more stripped-down, vulnerable on Twitter. People always seem to want to show off their best selves on Facebook and Instagram, so I’m actually kind of grateful that there is at least one social media out there where people can just be their clumsy, goofy selves.

How often do you tweet?  Probably a maximum of five a day. Nowadays I’m on there mostly to just scroll through my timelines.

Do you get on twitter every day?  Yes, both on my personal and fan account.

Bzoink

Do you make a lot of surveys?  I never make them but I try to take them as often as I can.

Do you take a lot of surveys?  Haha sorry, was one step ahead of you. Yeah, I do.

Do you post in the message boards?  Nah. I dunno if I’m even permitted to check the message boards on Bzoink considering I don’t have an account.

What types of surveys are your favorite?  Categorized surveys like this one or countdown ones can be fun, but at the end of the day I like sticking to the classic random survey.

Do you have friends on here?  Not on Bzoink, but here on Tumblr yes! There’s a number of people here I like keeping up with :)

Do you post all your secrets on here?  Again, not on Bzoink; but yep I share pretty much everything here.

What type of survey do you think I should make next?  Anything but basic/about me-themed ones that will ask for my name and eye color and weight.

Do you read peoples' answers to your surveys?  I’ve never made a survey.

Do you think you are good at making surveys? 

Do you try to make unique surveys?

What type of surveys do you want to see more of?

Random

This or That

Scattergories

Have You Ever

Are you like me?

About You

Personal, Deep Questions

Girly

Music shuffle

Would You Rather

Do you have this in your bedroom?

Long

Short

All About Your Crush

Fashion

Make-up

School

Music

Your health

Your friends

Confessions

Girl Confessions - how different is this from just confessions? Hahaha

R-Rated

Controversial topics

Myspace

Did you have a myspace when you were in high school?  I started an account in like 4th grade when Myspace was ~big, but I didn’t find it fun and everyone my age was on Friendster anyway, so I was largely inactive.

Do you use myspace now?  No. Is it still even around? I have no clue.

Do you miss bulletins? I didn’t get to join in on the fun so there’s nothing to miss.

Did you like customizing your profile with the old myspace?  Not attributed to Myspace but I did have a lot of fun customizing my Multiply and Tumblr accounts back in the day. That was a period where I really got to learn and play around with HTML :)

Did you have music on your profile?  Not on Myspace again but I did on Multiply! I had a cute little playlist that played the songs immediately as soon as you landed on my page hahaha.

Did you learn HTML when you used Myspace?  Tumblr, yeah. I believe the skills are still there but I’ll definitely be a bit rusty.

Did you have a customized cursor?  Oh, no. Wasn’t a fan of those as I found them a bit tacky.

Did you use glitter graphics?  Also found those tacky haha no, I never used those.

Do you remember posting glitter graphics on friends' pages?  Nope.

Did you make "dolls"?  I don’t recall ever making those.

Did you use photo captions?  Not sure what this is referring to so let’s just say no.

Did you have a photo slideshow on your profile?  Hmmm nope, I don’t think so.

Xanga

Did you have a Xanga account back in the day?  No. It wasn’t big here so I had never heard of it until I started taking surveys on here and heard people mentioning Xanga, actually.

Do you have a xanga account now?  No.

Did you post photos and quotes on your xanga page?  I never had any.

Snapchat

Do you use snapchat?  I did; I was superrrrr active on there for a time. It kind of just got old at one point, though, and my feed got more and more dead until I too just left my account dormant altogether.

What is your favorite filter?  There were a lot of cute ones on there that helped me be more confident with taking selfies but my favorites have to be the dog and flower crown ones.

Tumblr

Do you understand Tumblr?  I had a better handle of it when I ran a fan account that required me to be more active; but now that I really just go on here to take surveys I just use the basic functions and nothing more. But yeah, I understand just enough to get by.

Do you use Tumblr?  Yeah. Even on the days I don’t post surveys, I regularly go on here to keep up with friends I like keeping up with like Elisabeth, Lane, Steph, Lina, Julie :)

Other

What forum sites did you use to love that aren't around anymore?  There was one message board I frequented for this girly/tween magazine I used to collect, but I won’t share the name.

Are there any other great social media sites that you recommend?  I think this survey was able to cover all the main ones I use.

Do you use a photo editing site? If so, what?  I use apps instead of sites to edit my photos.

Do you ever use BeFunky.com?  Nope.

Do you use a video editing site? If so, what?  Nah, I rarely have to edit videos in a super intricate, detailed way. Apple’s video editing features suffice for me.

Have you ever downloaded fonts?  Very occasionally since it’s never necessary.

Have you ever used photobucket to upload an image?  No but I remember going on there back in the day to look for images. I never uploaded any, though.

Do you use iTunes?  Not anymore. I have an account on Spotify now.

Do you listen to music on Pandora?  No, never used it.

[imdefyinggravity]

If you were to put Tin and Can in the BBC Merlin universe, what do you think they would be

Ugh, interesting. Hm lets start with Tin, that one is easier. So, hes obviously at least a nobel. Maybe even second born prince of some other kingdom. Not sure where to place him, since I would make him brother to Mithian, but we do know she doesnt have a sibling and concerning the middle ages, Tin would have been crownprince, so theres that. So I will go with some noble family in camelot, since I want him to be connected to Arthur in a way. They would go along splendidly, since their “I’m better than you” is only a mask in some way and I can see them having some fun on boring feasts and stuff like that. Arthur complaining about his idiotic manservant, while Tin wonders why on earth Arthur is even putting up with such an incompetent servant.

Can on the contrary is like I said before in my mind the knight in shining armour and I would love for him to actually be that chaotic knight, who all others shake their heads about, a bit similar to Gwaine in that way, always a bit messy, searching for something to eat etc. Then again Can is a commoner, and I cant imagine him as some noble, so no knight in shining armour, at least until Arthur gets crowned king and doesnt care about status and stuff anymore. Before that, where to put Can? Okay, I decided, his mother is a seamstress in camelot, working mostly for the servants of the castle. Therefore Can is often instructed to bring the repaired or newly sewn clothes to the castle. And since he’s friendly and very interested in all the gossip of the royal family, he likes to hang out there, sneaking into the kitchen, because the cook is very fond of the boy with the big smile and though she’s always complaining, kicking him out of her kitchen, shes still fetching him some snacks, which Can accepts with the brightest smile on earth. Afterwards he hangs out in the castle, gossiping with the maids and servants. He’s quite fond of Gwen, because they get along fine and Gwen always knows the best stories about that idiotic prince of camelot.

Nowadays she tells him, about that new manservant who had the guts and nerve to challenge the crownprince on his first day in camelot and Can is in awe, because damn, thats a level of idiotic, not even he does manage. So he hears all those stories of Merlin mouthing off to the crownprince, being sassy, throwing the future kings stuff in some random corners instead of actually cleaning the room, that he really really wants to meet that guy. Because he cant decide if Merlin is the toughest guy ever or one with some deathwish and one braincell only.

Its months later when they actually met, because Gwen is away with Morgana on some girly trip or whatever girls do, when they travel and therefore its actually Merlin whos around when Can delivers the new clothes. And Merlin actually doenst have a deathwish and more than one braincell and Can really likes that guy. Turns out Merlin can tell even better stories and Can listens to all the shit he says about his master. Can has a bit of a herocrush on Merlin, while Merlin is obviously very oblivious. They met a few times and since Merlin is a nice guy, he actually greets Can when they pass in the courtyard, sometimes stopping to have a short chat. And Can beams and Arthur does notice this. And we all know how Arthur reacts when someone pays attention to his Merlin, so he actually shouts at Merlin, while Merlin just rolls his eyes and keeps on talking, until theres a loud “MERlin” blasting through the citadel. Merlin giggles and Can does wonder how such a nice guy can work for such an arse.

One day Can passes the training field and stops for a moment to admire the swords and the fights going on, because wouldnt it be cool to be a knight? He’s still watching when starting to walk, clashing right into someone and they go down in a twirl of limbs and shouts. Well the other one shouts, because Can is way to cool for that, thank you very much. And okay, he wasnt looking, but thats no reason to curse at him and being that fucking rude. He takes it back, he doesnt want to be a knight, because nobles are fucking assholes. Can being Can, he’s not going down without a fight, so he actually punches the guy after the third insult. And he remembers to late, that this is no good idea, punching a noble does have consequences esp. when everyone can see you. And oh fuck, is that the crownprince coming their way?

Thankfully Merlin is not far away, actually being the first to be there and trying to calm down that noble bastard, trying to save Can from punishment, now arguing with the crownprince himself. And Can is once again awestruck. The nerve of that guy. And its actually going well, until bastard guy looks at Can watching Merlin and says “What? He’s your boyfriend or why are you protecting him?” And Merlin laughs but doesnt see how Arthurs whole attitude changes and now he looks at Can and Can can feel the hair at his back rising. He’s so fucked. He tries to look as innocent as he can, but Arthur has murder written in his eyes and what on earth is going on.

So Can goes in fightmode and shouts again at bastard guy, while Arthur is fuming and Merlin is really done. What has he ever done to deserve this life? So yeah, end of the song, Merlin does have his way to calm down his future king, pointing out how those two blow off while being around each other and he may has an idea, because he’s way smarter than most people give him credit for, especially his idiot of a master and he sees the way Tin reacts completly out of character concerning Can and thinks: hm, interesting. So he actually gets the punishment for punshing a noble down to Can running errands for Tin for the next days while he’s here and Can changes his mind. Merlin is no hero, and not someone to be in awe off, he’s actually a horrible person, betraying him like that.

And okay maybe Tin is not that bad when you get closer to him, but he’s still an arse but Can can handle idiots and they actually get along quite well, when Tin is not a snob, which Can gets never tired of pointing out. 

And its years later when Arthur decides knights do not need to be a noble, only need to be brave and have a pure heart and being loyal and its actually not Merlin pointing out, but Tin, that Can is all of that. And huh when exactly did those two get so cozy with each other? He needs to ask Merlin later about that, because for some reason, Merlin does always know whats going on in this kingdom. But yeah he’s right, so when the time comes, Can gets knighted and Tin is beaming with pride and yeah, NO ONE BLOODY DIES IN MY CAMELOT. Thank you very much. The End

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #336

"get back, you’re never gonna leave him  /  get back, you’re always gonna please him”

What were your favorite things to draw when you were a lil kid? When I was a very little kid, idk. But once I got into meerkats... I drew them like crazy. Do you think there is something with or around you, like a spirit, angel, ghost or something else? How does this make you feel? No. Imagine you’re a stranger looking at yourself. What things would immediately catch your eye? Ugh, let's not. When did you feel the most confident in your life? Probably my senior year of high school. I was happy with Jason with plans for the future together, I was doing excellently in school... I thought I was really going to go somewhere. Do you think love is needed to have good sex? For some people, no. For me, loving one another is an absolute must. Do you think, or want to, die in the city you currently live in? Fuuuuuuuck no, I hate it here. What is the strangest thing you have ever encountered? Probably when I was otw home from my doctor appointment and we passed a random guy in drag walking on the side of the street... That guy is an icon. Favourite soft drink? It's really strawberry Sunkist, but I love it to a degree I don't even allow myself to drink it, because I will fucking destroy that shit so quick. So I tend to just say Mountain Dew Voltage is my fave. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy, period. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No, but it sounds fun. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhhh idk. Who depends on you the most? My snake. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Yes; William Clark and Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth, idr which. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Mom. She only has one kidney, so, y'know. She kinda needs at least one. I wouldn't even hesitate. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Unconditional love. What three things do you think of most of each day? My weight is #1. Every second of every day, it, as well as Jason, are somewhere towards the front of my mind. The final is financial and job-oriented stuff. Does/did your high school have pop machines? It did. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yeah. How often do you use Flickr? I pretty much abandoned my account; nowadays I only occasional check my friend's profile who works at the Kalahari Meerkat Project because she uploads wonderful pictures of the 'kats as well as gives interesting info about them! Who is the last child that you took a photo with? Mom took a picture of me holding my youngest niece Emerson because it surprised everyone; I NEVER hold babies. She crawled over to me and reached up though, so of course I was going to pick her up. How often do you wear hats? Never. Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Sure! Idk what, but I'm rather sure I'll get at leaast one. Is anyone in your family sick at the moment? No. Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? My older sister is a mammographer, and my younger sis is a social worker. Where is your favorite place to buy groceries? Wal-Mart, I guess. Who do you generally talk to the most? My mom. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname? Mom is "Mama Bear," and then my siblings are "Little Sister" and "Big Sister." Whose birthday is coming up? My lil sister has her birthday in April. Have you ever ordered from an informercial? No. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? I needed to get blood drawn for some testing. It was drawn from my inner elbow, obviously at the doctor. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? I never have, but it'd be fun. I enjoy puzzles. How many followers do you have on Instagram? I don't feel like checking. What’s the most recent music video you watched? Thoughts? "Mutter" by Rammstein. I picked a screenshot from it to draw, so I rewatched it to select one. It's a beautiful video, but also strange, which Rammstein is great at. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. What makeup products are your go-tos? If I wear makeup, the bare minimum is black eyeliner. Are you going to school this year? No. I gave college as many shots as I could handle both sanity-wise and with finances in mind. I do NOT want to even ATTEMPT to imagine the debt I have after going to three different colleges and dropping out each time. What is your favorite water activity? I enjoy just kinda swimming around aimlessly, relaxing. What are your favorite video games? Okay, I talk about SH2 and SotC enough on questions like this, so I'll mention some others I really enjoy as well: the Silent Hill franchise in general, Spyro games, The Last Guardian, both The Evil Withins, The Last of Us, some Resident Evil games (the 4th in particular), etc. etc. I just love video games. Do you like jello? I enjoy the flavor, but the texture makes me squirm. When was the last time you gave someone "the finger?" Probably while riding in the car with Mom when a dumb motherfucker swerved into our lane. Or something like that, idr the exact occasion. Have you ever held a snake? Yesssss, I want to hold all the snakes. ;_; Most unique place you’ve ever been to? Uh. I guess maybe the Whirligig Park/"Acid Park" nearby us? It's just this large expanse of unique architecture that are mostly, as you guessed it, extravagant whirligigs. You've got to see it if you come to the town. I have some pictures on my deviantART if you wanna see a few pieces. If you were a superhero, what color would your cape be? NO CAPES! Have you ever slept out on your porch all night? Oh fuck no. I'd feel way, way too unsafe. Do you like horror movies? Yeah! What’s your favorite Coke product? Just normal Coke. Watergun or water-balloon war? Watergun. I don't like being hit with stuff. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? I kind of am. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? I have three plushies from Jason, Tyler, and Girt. My Marilyn Manson poster is also from Juan. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don't know; I was never a big fan, so I don't know any of them as people well at all. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? I've never been drunk, but no, I've never texted an ex because I was drinking. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? I don't have one. The only instance where I had to do that was with Girt. Tall motherfucker. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? Yes. Those are the best. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Girt once tried to make out with me and I noped the fuck outta that situation. It was so fucking awkward. Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before? My nightmares definitely can. Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way? I definitely believe my mental illnesses forced me to mature faster and also instilled a great sense of empathy in me. And don't forget emotional endurance. What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line? It's dangerous and can be very blinding. An outsider could say I put Mark on a pedestal, but I've always been very aware that he's not perfect and really just another human, I just happen to love him a lot for the human he is, haha. As time's passed, my vision of him has become healthier though (not to say it ever reached the "unhealthy" threshold); it's gotten easier for me to judge him and stuff like that. I think an obsession crosses the line when you put on rose-tinted glasses to look upon someone and entirely ignore their flaws, or if you try to invade their personal lives, ex. being one of those creeps that loiter outside their houses and stuff. If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph? Ah, livin' the dream. If I had to choice and would be paid well regardless of focus, I would absolutely travel and photograph the local nature/wildlife. Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others? Shirts, 100%. Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited? When it comes to OCs, yes, given that things have been stolen from me before. Photography doesn't worry me much because I don't think I'm good enough for someone to possibly want to steal it (and besides, I use a watermark), and I do the same for drawings. It's the unique characters I make I worry about being stolen if I share them. When is the last time you did something sexual? A few years back. Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone? I haven't showered with someone since I was a little kid and my younger sister and I would to conserve water. What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road? It really makes me genuinely sad, and I always wonder if it could have been avoided if the driver was more alert, slower, and thinking about more than the damage it could cause to their car... I enjoy photographing roadkill, brutal as it may be, out of respect for them and the desire to make their individual stories known and just kind of like, raise awareness of it. Too many people are just annoyed by hitting an animal versus more concerned. "Stupid deer," stuff like that. I sometimes worry that doing so can be interpreted as disrespect, to photograph and publish pictures of their corpses online, but I sure hope not. It's the least of my intentions. I just want people to see and care. Have you ever had an ex that just didn’t understand that it was over? Biiiitch I was that ex, 120%. But besides my situation with Jason, this was how Tyler was. I had to tell him about five thousand times to stop texting me. Are your fingernails currently short or long? They're always pretty short. Would you rather have big or small dogs? I like medium-sized dogs most. I'd have to pick large dogs between the two, though. What is your favorite sports drink? I'm not a fan of sports drinks. What was the last compliment you gave a guy? Yesterday, a guy in PHP shared two poems he wrote while hospitalized, and they were wonderful, so full of passion and emotion. I sure as hell told him they were amazing. He's going for his Master's for poetry, so he knows what he's doing for real. Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It's popped on very, very few occasions. Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids “the talk”? I don't want kids, so no, I've never thought of this. I certainly wouldn't wait for sex ed in school, though. I feel like it's a bit late. I feel children need to know what it's about at a younger age with how disgusting some people are... I want them to be informed on what consent and molestation are so they know to let Mama know so I can punch someone's face into a whole new galaxy if they're ever violated. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something? Oh, always. Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did as a kid, sure. Not so much now. If you were married, and your spouse’s parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? If they were truly sick enough to need assistance but not actual hospitalization, yes. I'd want my spouse to do the same for me. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yyyyep. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Did you actually have a cookie jar? We have a Santa one, though I don't even know if we ever used it versus just having it as a decoration. What’s worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? Bottom lip. Do you think that knowing when and how you’re going to die would ruin your life? "Ruin" it seems a bit extreme, but I definitely wouldn't like it. Do you have a favorite bromance? From TV or a movie. Not really, if we're only talking those two options. Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? Yeah, you really can find the coolest shit for great prices. What color is your wallet? Mostly red and white; it's a Harley Quinn design. Have you ever been somebody's photography subject? No. Nicki Minaj fan? I believe she's a very talented rapper, but I don't enjoy her actual music. I just don't like rap. Have you ever seen the Niagara Falls? No, I wish tho.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Untouchable 9- Surprises and Good News [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your feedback my loves, please keep it coming! <3

The previous chapters are on my masterlist<3

Pleasure has a price Bucky Barnes can’t afford. What happens when he falls in love with someone he shouldn’t have?

Summary: “Are you happy?”                   “More than you can imagine, darling.” 

Characters: Reader x Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers

Word Count: 2259

Warnings: Mentions of sex work, explicit language, 1940s.

You walked around in the room humming a song, holding onto two dresses still trying to make up your mind. It was such a strange feeling for you, normally you would be sure that your clients would love the way you looked whatever you wore, seeing that everything in your wardrobe was designed and bought for their own pleasure and gaze, but now, since you would be meeting Bucky, you had managed to find a flaw in each and every dress in your wardrobe. You took a look at the mirror to make sure you hair still looked good, then laid the dresses on your bed and tilted your head, putting your hands on your hips.

The last time you had worn a green dress and Bucky had complimented you but you didn’t want him to think that was all you wore after all-

Red?

You pursed your lips, narrowing your eyes at the dresses as if they personally offended you but someone cleared their throat from the door, making you startle and turn your head.

“Hey Shirl.”

“Hey there,” she smiled slightly, looked around and stepped inside, then closed the door behind her, “You have a date?”

“Shh,” you said, “Which one of these look better on me?”

“It depends,” she clicked her tongue, “Do you want him to faint or get on his knees when he sees you?”

“Faint.”

“The red one.”

“Good thinking.” You said, but before you could reach out to the dress, Shirley shook her head,

“Not yet,” she said, “Linda wants to see everyone in her office.”

You grimaced, “Ugh Shirley, I was having such a nice day!”

“I know, I know…” she heaved a dramatic sigh, “I hate it there too, let’s go.”

You grabbed your silk dressing gown and tied the belt around your waist, then followed her downstairs to Linda’s office, where a lot of the girls were waiting. Nancy looked over her shoulder then rolled her eyes at you, as if making fun of the situation and you shrugged slightly, then took your seat next to Shirley.

“Hello girls,” Linda said after clearing her throat, “I have an announcement to make.”

You pulled your brows together, keeping your eyes on her.

“I’m afraid my sister is very sick, I just got a phone call from her husband,” she nodded at the phone on her desk, “And the way he phrased it….” She stopped talking for a moment, then leaned back on her seat, “Well, it’s times like these that family has to be there for each other.”

Shirley stole a look at you silently, as if trying to see your reaction.

“I got the train ticket for Nevada for tomorrow, but I think I will be away for almost a week,” Linda said, “Now I know you will keep me in your prayers.”

I will pray for you to die, you bitch.

“And I know you’re wondering what will happen to you meanwhile.” She continued, “It’s not that I don’t trust you girls, but I think we can all agree that things work better when I’m here to keep an eye on you.” She sat up straighter, “So, no one will be taking any clients while I’m gone. We don’t want a mistake to happen, after all.”

You tried to stop the smile threatening to pull at your lips as a chatter burst through the room, until Linda spoke again.

“A friend of mine will keep an eye on you from time to time, while I’m gone,” she said, “I expect you all to be very kind to her. But other than that, no clients. I’m sure they will have missed you by the time I come back, no?”

You and Shirley exchanged looks, and you arched a brow while Shirley bit at her lip excitedly.

You both knew what this meant.

An excitement shot through you, but you managed to keep your expression still.

“Thank you, you’re dismissed,” she said with a small wave, but as soon as you stood up, she spoke again,

“Y/N, a word.”

You took a deep breath in annoyance, but watched the other girls leave the room and Nancy closed the door behind her as you approached to the seat across from Linda’s desk, then sat down. You found your steel cigarette case and your lighter in the pocket of your dressing gown, then lit a cigarette as she took her seat behind the desk.

“Now obviously, your situation is a bit different than the rest,” she said, as you exhaled the smoke, “But the General understands-“

“How?” you cut her off and she raised her brows.

“What?”

“How do you know he understands?”

“I already talked to him.”

“You just got the news of your sister being very sick, and you called the General?” you asked her, “Wow. Very cold, but okay.”

“It’s business, I don’t expect you to understand,” she said with a sneer, “There’s a reason you sit there and I sit here.”

You smiled innocently, then nodded.

“How much money does the General have?” you wondered aloud, “Do you think he’d buy this brothel for me if I wanted him to? He does want to keep me happy, you know?”

“This brothel is not for sale.”

“I didn’t say you’d have to be willing.” You said calmly and her eyes narrowed.

“You’re letting it get to your head, Y/N,” she said slowly, “I wouldn’t do that.”

“It was just a hypothetical question,” you stated, then took a drag of your cigarette, “I was merely curious.”

There was nothing but hostility in her gaze,

“Well, the General was very upset to hear that, but he said he was already going to be very busy for the whole week, so it’s not as if we somehow sabotaged his plans with you.”

“How do you not want to-“ you stopped talking for a moment and an amused smile pulled at your lips, “Oh. I see.”

“What?”

“You think I’d run away with him,” you said, “The General. And you’d lose your investment, along with most of your income. That’s why you’re shutting down the whole brothel for a week. It’s not about the clients, it’s about me.”

As if. As if you’d ever be willing to be even near the General but-

She didn’t need to know that.

“I’m just taking precautions, just in case,” she said, “And throughout this week, you’d do well to think about your behavior lately. It’s not attractive, and it’s not polite.”

“That’s not what the General thinks,” you attacked with the only leverage you had in your hand, “He thinks I’m attractive no matter what. I’m sure you remember how it feels like, right? Even if now you….” you tilted your head, “Your….other qualities are more prominent, so to speak.”

If she wanted to see you as a pretty doll to be sold for her own benefit, that’s what you’d use against her after all.

She gritted her teeth, “You can leave.”

“Of course. I hope your sister feels better,” you said airily as you stood up, “After all, family really is the only thing you can depend on nowadays. Others tend to stab you in the back when they get the chance.”

With that, you walked out of the office and closed the door behind you, smirking to yourself as you made your way upstairs.

Yeah. Red dress it is.

                                                           ***

You knocked on the door to Bucky’s house, barely containing the giggle at your throat and bit down on your lip, then knocked again.

“Jesus Steve, I’m coming, what are you dying-?” his voice reached you and the door swung open to reveal Bucky.

You raised your brows at the sight of him, trying to ignore the way your stomach made a pleasant flip. There was some shaving cream left on his cheek and judging by the fact that he was holding a razor, he was not done with it yet. His dog-tags were hanging over his white undershirt- maybe he had the same problem as you, picking what to wear, or he wanted to keep any shaving cream off of his shirt- but his blue trousers seemed to be carefully ironed, so at least he had half an idea of what to wear.

“This is how you answer the door, Sarge?” you asked him with a smile as he pulled the small towel off his neck, staring at you, “What would people think?”

“Y/N, hi,” he said breathlessly, then checked his watch, “Am I late? I thought-“

“I thought I could surprise you,” you shot him a mischievous look, “But I can go if you-“

“Don’t you dare,” he pulled you by the hand into the house, then closed the door and backed you into the door. You giggled, looking up at him,

“My makeup is too nice to get any shaving cream on it,” you said with an air of pretense and he grinned,

“Is that right?”

“Yes, I spent half an hour on it,”

“Wow, a whole half an hour?”

“That’s right.” You let out a giggle when he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, making you scrunch up your face.

“Bucky!”

“What, you don’t have makeup on your nose.”

You grabbed his face, and kissed his already shaved cheek, letting your lipstick stamp his cheek, a perfect red imprint of your lips.

“I’m hungry, go shave,”

“Yes ma’am,” he said and walked to the bathroom as you stepped into the living room, looking around. You walked past the radio and made your way to the record player, taking a look at the records and your jaw dropped.

“You love Ella Fitzgerald too?” you called out, then placed the record on the player and put the needle on it.

“Let’s build a stairway to the stars….” You sang along, as you pulled your gloves and put them beside the record player, slightly swaying with the music. You reached out to grab the records, not caring at all if you were being nosy but a shadow by the door made you gasp and almost drop the records in your arms. You put them back to their place, then pressed a hand over your chest,

“You scared me,” you said, and he smiled softly, still watching you with his arms crossed, his face free of any shaving cream.

“You’re happy.”

“Can’t I be?” you asked back playfully and his smile widened, then he approached you to take your hand, then twirled you, making you let out a small squeal.

“Warn a girl first, Sarge,” you told him, as you laced your fingers through his, and he pressed you closer to his body as you both swayed with the music almost lazily, just enjoying each other’s presence.

“To what do I owe this surprise?” he asked softly, and you arched a brow,

“Maybe I wanted to see if you had any gals in here.”

His gaze was almost chiding, “Darling…”

You felt yourself almost melt at that, but managed to keep your façade,

“What? You’re too good to be true Sarge, you have to have a secret.”

“Mm, I do have a secret,” he nodded and you giggled,

“See? What is it then?”

“Be patient and you’ll find out,” his voice was almost teasing you and you thought for a moment,

“Patience is not my strongest suit, Sergeant,” you stated nonchalantly, still smiling and he tilted his head,

“We’ll see about that, won’t we?” he asked you before he leaned in to kiss you, making your eyes flutter close. You cupped his soft cheek, still not completely dry due to shaving and stood on your tiptoes, your body almost molding into his. You whined softly when he pulled back and looked up at him, as his fingers caressed over your hair.

“God, you’re gorgeous….” He whispered in awe and you stole a kiss from his lips before you could even stop yourself.

“I have a surprise for you,” you said, “We have the whole week for ourselves, starting with tomorrow.”

He pulled his brows together, “What?”

“My….my madam, she’s going away for a week and we’re shut down for business. No boss, no clients, nothing. I doubt anyone would notice me being gone even at night if I wanted to, and I- I figured,” you hesitated for a moment, you really hadn’t thought this through, “Maybe we could spend it together.”

He stared at you as if he didn’t believe you, almost holding his breath and you pressed your lips together, still looking up at him in anticipation.

“Would you want that?” you asked slowly, scared of ruining the moment and he blinked a couple of times.

“I get to have you all to myself then?”

“If you want to,” you said before he leaned in to capture your lips in a kiss. You smiled slightly, then dragged your fingernails over the nape of his neck as he rested his forehead on yours.

“Are you happy?” your voice was a mere whisper, “I really, really want you to be.”  

He nodded, his thumb running over your cheekbone, “More than you can imagine, darling.”

A giggle escaped from your lips and you stole another kiss from his lips as the song came to an end and both of you just stood there in each other’s embrace, until you pulled back.

“Come on then Sarge,” you managed to say, and shot him a mischievous look, “Let’s go on a date, because I won’t want to leave here for the rest of the week.”

                                                       ***

   @rhabakoli​​​ @rmwest94​​ @finnickfoxes​​  @theskytraveler​​ @asongofmarvelanddc​​  @fictionwillneverdie​​   @superwolfchild-fan​​  @marauderskeeper​​ @propertyofpoeandbucky @alwaysadreamingoptimist @lettersofwrittencollective @i-am-always-famished  @small-round-and-angry @captstefanbrandt @flowers-in-your-hayr @writeyourmindaway @geekandbooknerd @mamaraptor  @j-finco @the-omni-princess @supercarricat @anxietysucks @fortisfiliae​ @jimmysstewart​ @nea90sweetie​ @inforapound​ @theladybiers​ @aikeji​ @littledarlinhavefaithinme​ @marvelgirl7​ @to-the-road​ @starkrobb​​ @noisyinfluencerstrawberry​​   @paramorefold​ @alytavzla​  @youclickedthislink​​ @lexlikestoread​

[vincent-g-writer]

The Silver Screen Savant, pt 2- the Meh, the Bad and The yikes.

Hello Writers!

Last time here on Starry Starry Write, I talked a little about Autism in the media and my personal experiences therein. Today, I’d like to go a little broader, and tackle the topic from a macro perspective.

In recent times, you’ve probably heard “Representation Matters” oft repeated. Especially in prominent talking spaces like social media. But what does that mean, exactly?

Why “Representation Matters,” and how.

The short answer:

Diverse representation in media tells us that everyone has a place in the world. That everyone’s story matters.

The long answer:

It’s no secret that we begin engaging with media at a young age. When I was growing up in the 90’s and 00’s, TV and video games were often the babysitters of my peers. I was one of the few kids in my neighborhood whose parents weren’t divorced. The kids I knew? Not so much. Most of them were raised by single parents, grandparents and of course-the boob tube. I personally prefered books, when my mom wasn’t yelling “it’s too nice out to be holed up in that dark bedroom!”

Now, don’t mistake my preference for some kind of intellectual superiority. I watched plenty of TV too. Besides, books aren’t magically out of the equation. Printed material is our oldest form of media. And- often just as problematic. Though I will say- I saw a much broader range of people on covers adoring library shelves than I ever did titles on a TV roster. But, I digress. The point is: for many of us, consuming media begins at an early time of our life. And that’s where the problem starts. Even in my childhood, where The Magic School Bus, Hey Arnold, and Sesame Street showed people of all kinds, I can point to many that did not. Especially not people like me. Which did me a grave disservice. I didn’t know I was on the spectrum for a long time, and when I finally found out, I was horrified, thanks to what I had seen on TV.

Because media is not only a wonderful way to learn about people that don’t look, act or sound like us. It also informs our ideas of who we are, and what we can be. Whether we like it or not: it shapes how we understand the world. And it doesn’t stop with Childhood.

Time Changes Much, but not all.

Things are better now. Well, a little bit, anyway.

As an adult, I see more people like me on the screen nowadays. Which is nice.

Ish.

Why “ish?” Well…

Frequently, these “noticeably different” characters (read: Autistically coded) are branded “NOT AUTISTIC!” You heard it here first, folks! That one character (insert your favorite) is Totally Not Autistic. Despite being written in a way that gives every indication otherwise.

*Facepalm*

Now for some examples, which we’ll call the “Meh,” “The Bad” and the “Yikes.” For “fun,” we’ll also go into the off-air perceptions of the characters.

The “Meh.”

First on the list is Dr. Spencer Reid, from CBS’s “Criminal Minds.”

Dr. Reid is the youngest member of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, having joined at the age of 22. He holds three B.A degrees in Sociology, Psychology and Philosophy, as well as three Ph.D’s in Engineering, Chemistry, and Mathematics.

He also has the social skills of a limp dishrag. Wait, what’s that? High Intelligence + Low Social Awareness? Hmmm…Then there’s his restrictive behavioral patterns, obsessive interests, and general “quirkiness!” that we could talk about. But let’s hear a quote from the actor who plays him, Matthew Gray Gubler:

“..an eccentric genius, with hints of schizophrenia and minor autism, Asperger’s Syndrome. Reid is 24, 25 years old with three PH.D.s and one can’t usually achieve that without some form of autism.”

Hoooo-boy. I could go into all the things wrong with this, including why the term “Asperger’s” is both horrific (TW: Eugenics,Ableism, N*zis) and harmful. However, today we’ll simply leave it with the fact that this term is no longer applicable, having been reclassified in 2013 as part of Autism Spectrum disorder.

The “Bad.”

Next up, we have Will Graham, from NBC’s Hannibal.

Like our first example, Will works for the FBI. He’s a gifted criminal profiler with “special” abilities, namely hyper empathy, which allows him to reconstruct the actions and fantasies of the killers he hunts. He’s intellectually gifted, hates eye contact, socializing, and prefers to spend…most of his time…alone.

Oh dear. Haven’t we been here before? But, I mean, he doesn’t have Autism! The show runner says so!

For Will Graham, there’s a line in the pilot about him being on the spectrum of autism or Asperger’s, and he’s neither of those things. He actually has an empathy disorder where he feels way too much and that’s relatable in some way. There’s something about people who connect more to animals than they do to other people because it’s too intense for whatever reason.

You can’t see me right now, but I’m cringing. A lot. This is just…ugh. I mean, for starters, I know a handful of autistic people who struggle with hyper empathy, which can make social situations overwhelming and hard to navigate. In fact, I happen to be one of them. Plus, there’s a cool little thing about how, frequently, people on the spectrum more readily identify with animals. But, y’know. Who am I to say? I’m just someone, one of many, who’s dealt with this my whole life.

Now, onto the “Yikes.”

*sigh*

And finally, we have BBC’s Sherlock, a modern adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s renowned “consulting” detective, and probably the most famous fictional character of all time.

Now, I’ll start by saying that the BBC incarnation is not the first to be Spectrum labeled. In fact, Sherlock was my childhood hero, and the first “person” I saw referred to this way. My aunt, an avid reader herself, casually remarked to a friend “I’ve always wondered if Holmes is Autistic,” after I came yammering on about how fantastic the books were. Had I not been champing at the bit to get back to my reading, I might have asked her what that meant.

I also believe this fandom driven speculation is why many detective type characters (see above) are often coded as Autistic, intentionally or otherwise.

In this New York Times article, Lisa Sanders, M.D. describes Holmes traits:

He appears oblivious to the rhythms and courtesies of normal social intercourse — he doesn’t converse so much as lecture. His interests and knowledge are deep but narrow. He is strangely “coldblooded,” and perhaps as a consequence, he is also alone in the world.

Now, before we go any father, let me take a moment to defend his creator. During the time Sir Arthur Conan Doyle first created his most famous work, Autism was not known. That isn’t to say it didn’t exist. We’ve always existed. In fact, it’s now believed that the Changeling Myth, a common European folk story, was a way to explain Autism. In one telling (there are a few) children displaying “intelligence beyond their years” and “uncanny knowledge” were imposters, traded out by Fae creatures for offspring of their own. Children believed to be “Changlings,” regretfully, often came to a bad end. A chilling reminder that the stories we tell impact our real lives.

So while Autism was at least somewhat recognized, it did not become its own official diagnosis until 1943.

Meanwhile, Sherlock Holmes was first published in 1892. Now, as a writer who often draws from my personal reality, I imagine Doyle probably “wrote what he knew,” which is to say, acquainted with one or more Autistic people, he used them as inspiration.

On the other hand…

BBC’s Sherlock first aired in 2010. And while one might argue that the writers simply capitalized on the Autistic fan-theory, or took already available traits and exaggerated them for their version… they left a lot to be desired. Autism aside, this new Sherlock is…well…an asshole. Narcissistic, abusive and egocentric (to name a few) he sweeps his caustic behavior under the rug of “high functioning sociopath,” and blytly ignores the consequences.

Which is a major problem. Because while doing this, he’s still “obviously” (at least in the Hollywood sense) Autistic. In my previous post, where I said some characters are “too smart™, and logical© to ever have feelings, friends or empathy,” this is what I meant.

This is bad. We’re looping right back to Representation Matters. Bad representation, and the navigating of such, is just as important for writers to think about as good representation. Maybe even moreso. Because bad representation paints real people into cardboard, stereotyped people-shaped things. It otherizes. And it’s harmful. You would not believe the people I’ve met assume I’m not Autistic because I’m not an egotistical jerk. Why? Because they watched, you guessed it, BBC Sherlock.

Confession time:

Now here’s my little secret:

I love all of these characters. They are some of my favorite on tv. Why? Because for good or ill, I recognize myself in them. Finally, I can turn on the TV, and see myself. Or, somewhat, anyway.

My favorite character out of this list? Loath though I am to admit it… Is Sherlock. See, what those well meaning folks didn’t know (the ones who say I’m I’m “too nice,” to be Autistic) is… well, if we’re being honest, I wasn’t always nice. A few years ago, I was that guy. I was a jerk because I thought I was the smartest person in the room. Which is really not a good look. In fact, sitting down and watching the first season of sherlock, (around three or four years after it came out) made me realize how much of a jerk I actually was.

There are other things there too. Things that tie me to all these characters, that I didn’t list. But that’s for another today.

For now, I’d like to add a caveat or two:

1) I’ve watched all the shows listed above, and adore them. As I mentioned, Sherlock is my favorite. He’s also the one I’ve watched the most (Repeatedly, in fact. Whoops.) and I recognize it’s not all bad. In the end, he learned to treat people better (somewhat) and certainly became more human over time. And, there are other deeply problematic elements of the show I’d like to tackle, eventually.

*cough* Queerbating! *cough*

2) I’m well aware that the above cases are all thin, white, able bodied, “straight” males. But I chose these characters for a couple of reasons. One, they’re the most prominent type on TV. Again, we loop back around to representation, and why we need more positive, diverse examples of it.

And finally-

3) In my last post, I mentioned I’d give some “good” instances of Hollywood Autism trope. But I didn’t exactly do that. Partially, because half way through, I thought…perhaps…I’m not the best to judge what might be a good Autistic character. I mean, I’m sure someone will read this and think my current aforementioned characters are fine. Heck! They might even argue my perception here, and say the characters are just fine. I accept that. In my life, both on and off the page, I recognize that I cannot, should not (and don’t want to) speak for an entire community.

Because of this, I cannot tell you how to write a “good” Autistic character, or what media is “acceptable.” I can’t even really tell you what a bad character is. Sure, I have a lot of opinions about it. But- if you’re on the spectrum and like and identify with the above? That’s fine. I mean, even with all the problems I noted (and some I didn’t) I certainly do.

On the other hand, if you’re a writer, and you want to write a character from this (or any, for that matter) community you aren’t part of, I caution you.

Do your research. Preferably from multiple credible sources.

Talk to people on the spectrum about what it’s really like. (Though try to steer clear of asking for emotional labor.You could, say, hop on reddit and ask the community there, for instance, which is a no pressure way to obtain potentially decent info.)

Finally, whatever you do, remember this-

Autistic people can look like anyone. We can act, and think and be different, like anyone. We are real, living, breathing people. Not robots, not sob stories, not tropes. People. So if you write about us, write us like people. And your work will be all the better for it.

-Your Loving Vincent

[bluealmondpie]

haikyuu!boyfriends!

ho ho ho me and my love for side characters has struck again~ the coaches are all so underrated and it is not fair so here is some love for our wonderful swan coach

bf!akira (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

* the picture of reliability

* this man knows. he is observant to details

* totally can tell when you're angry or upset or excited. he pays a lot of attention.

* i imagine he would be nervous on the first date, and it might b a lil over the top? a nice restaurant and an uncomfortably dressed (see: formal) akira with flowers. it's adorable (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

* he is easy to tease. cute reactions. he usually will gently rebuff after being surprised or shocked, but he doesn't mind on the inside. actually it's q obvious he doesn't mind so you can keep teasing him if u want he will tease you back, and it's an enjoyable sort of push and pull

* nowadays dates are more chill, usually hanging around his apartment (you've practically moved in at this point) cooking, watching movies or reading together

* akira is p laid back. a little short of happy go lucky, he goes with the flow most days. his easy going nature makes your relationship really comfortable. it's such a cute little relationship filled with domestic scenes and just so... simple and sweet ugh.

* imagine: he's late home because of volleyball practice. he comes back to see you asleep on the couch with lukewarm pudding on the table, and just softly smiles. the tiredness melts away. he puts the pudding in the fridge and gently lifts you up to move you to the bedroom. akira? you mumble, your eyes fluttering open. mm i'm back, he says softly. rest, i'll join you in a bit. you pull him closer and he kisses your forehead to seal the promise as he places you under the covers. he washes up quietly and slips in next to you, and you curl into his chest. he wraps his arms around you and closes his eyes. you both drift off to sleep.

* i imagine he likes plants but he's not v good at taking care of them. you've set up the reminders on his phone to water the different succulents he has (just two, because he's killed enough to make him sad. you bought the first one for him when you were out grocery shopping and you noticed him staring at the little baby succulents. when it passed away he admitted he wasn't good at taking care of plants and you replaced it, setting up watering alarms for him. the other was a gift from a student.) he's feeling a lot more successful about this recently. the succulents are on his phone lock screen. you are the home screen.

* when you're sick he will take you to the doctor's. he will bring you warm porridge and feed you. he will sit beside you while you sleep and read or watch game tapes on headphones. one of his hands will be holding yours.

* when you're angry he will get flustered. he will send flowers and cards and balloons. he doesn't want you to be angry, and he's usually p observant so it's probably pretty rare for you to be angry at him.

* if you're angry about work or something he will rub circles on your back while listening to you rant. will totally buy you bubble tea (or your choice of favourite drink) so u feel better. he thinks you're cute when you're ranting

* the shiratorizawa kids don't know he is dating. tendou has an inkling, but he hasn't said anything cos he cannot confirm. washijou sensei doesn't know either, but anabara knows. maybe anabara introduced you two, bc he thinks that saitou needs more female friends. he probably didn't think you two would hit it off so well. in hindsight he thinks he should have seen it coming.

* i've said he is easygoing, but he isn't a pushover either. the emotional support pillar of shiratorizawa, he is the teacher they look up to because he is fun and so relatable. washijou obviously knows this and leaves the rapport up to akira. you think it's cute how he stays up late to reply to tendou's strange and silly life questions or giving comments on the latest shounen jump, or teaching goshiki calming down strategies. sometimes you think he puts in too much effort since he gets really tired staying up late, but he is happy doing that so you hold back your criticism and just make sure he gets more rest on his off days.

* i imagine the team finds out one fine day after they've all graduated. tendou is especially excited to know more about your relationship. akira will be flustered, but it will be okay. you've heard enough about them that you know who is who before they introduce themselves. the boys will find it heartwarming to know that their coach loves them enough to talk about them with you. you secretly want to adopt all of them. akira will oppose they have families! we can't tear them away /ahhh but you want to, don't you, you tease him.

* domestic dates! imagine 2: it's sunday evening and you're both hungry and decide to cook dinner. there's no food in the apartment as usual (he usually goes out or gets takeout) so you both head to the nearby super. you argue lightly about how to tell fresh produce apart and which is the cheapest/most value for money deals. the cashier mistakes you for a newly wedded couple. akira laughs, blushing slightly. neither of you correct the cashier. the walk back to his apartment is filled with quiet expectation. akira wonders what kind of rings you like, and what kind would look good on you. he glances at your interlaced fingers and smiles. he can't think of any better than a wedding band.

*******

i know haikyuu is one of those mangas with a huge huge cast and even tho people consider hinata/kageyama to be the main mcs and to a certain extent karasuno as main also and therefore all the other teams are side characters, but this makes our coaches truly the most sideline characters ever. but still they are all quite well written support characters and so ive always wanted to give them a little more fleshed out stories. also domestic akira is so cute they r also so underrated. the young hq coaches all deserve our love! ukai obv but so is our coach saitou here and let's not forget mizoguchi and naoi. anabara is a lil older than them i would think~ (i'm a little annoyed at those people saying that they like older men but they only talk about keishin like oooook sure idk maybe but have u considered that u just like bad boys with a soft heart and not older men??)

requests are open, rules are here ♪( ´▽｀)

masterlist here (♡-♡)

next hq!bf post will only have the same team tagged, cos there's so many to link now (;-;) please click on masterlist~