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#balance during the holidays
apocyan-blue · 3 months
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getting into taz amnesty in the year of our lord 2024
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zoueriemandzijnopmars · 9 months
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Goals for 2024
Reading goals
Track the movies I watch
I have tickets for de 3 biggetjes and for a festival, I’d like to go to at least one more time to a theatre, concert or festival
Take a holiday for 2 consecutive weeks (staying at home counts too, just take time off)
Spend some time abroad
Resolution: Only buy things online if I can’t get them in (or order them through) a physical shop near me
Sort and print my photos (Resolution: to take more photos)
See the sea!
Visit at least 2 Dutch museums
Visit a place in NL I haven’t been to
Resolution: Do more sports (probably gonna sign up for a dancing class in the first half of the year)
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luvwestwood · 6 months
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❝ DON'T WORRY 'BOUT IT DARLING! ❞ - Toji Fushiguro
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— (18+) YOUR CAR BREAKS DOWN DURING A SOLO TRIP, AND A KIND MR. FUSHIGURO OFFERS TO HELP.
₊˚༊*· warnings. nsfw (18+), slow burn, rough sex, hair pulling, p in v, rough sex, slight age gap (r is 22, t is 37), pet names, raw sex, backshots, pulling out/cumming on face/mouth, pussy eating, fingering, light faceslapping, toji lives in a cabin..
₊˚༊*· notes. I missed writing sm... also, this was one of those stories where i just got carried away writing.. also if your car breaks down in the middle of no where, please don't follow a random man back to his cabin. toji is not real.
7,035 words (25m read)
header art used - credits to @/yunonoai on twt!
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A holiday. The perfect thing you needed to ease your mind— work had been fucking you up lately, so you specifically had requested a few days off.
Realising you never spend time with yourself, and yourself only, had brought you to the idea of going on a solo trip. Although with budget cut short, you could only opt for a solo-road-trip; still well away from the city, and everyone.
So far, you thought it was perfect. Just you and your trusty volks beetle, cruising off for a few days to be surrounded by the county’s evergreen trees, and going down a spiral of constantly smelling wet bark here and there.
Crashing at the nearest motel just a few miles south, and digging into a typical, pancake breakfast at the closest diner the next morning. Quite basic, but you thought that it was unironically the calmest idea for a 'holiday' yet.
Pressing on the playback button, the car radio immediately sounded out the currently inserted tape that was halfway played through, your eyes rolling at the song choice.
“..I wake up in the morning I got murder on my min-“
The sound of the tape bypassing the opening filled with the car, along with silence and the engine running. “Oh for fucks sake, Yuji definitely put that in there.”
Balancing between keeping your eyes on the road, and your surroundings, you toss the DVD away to the passengers side; rummaging around the glove compartment for another disk.
But you found the peace as of now quite calming, resulting in you rolling your windows down by the slightest— taking in the natural noise of the environment.
Your cheeks turned cold to the touch as the breeze wafted throughout your entire car, your back pressing against the fabric seats, eyes only closing for a millisecond to take everything in.
Dressed in a tank top and shorts, my, it seemed like you were ready for.. who knows what. Hopefully no one takes you, accidentally, for a side-street hooker.
Bit silent, you suppose— seeing that there was no other car on this specific road too. It was eerie, but enjoyable at the same time. I mean, the road was in the middle of the woods so I doubt people would be passing in and out of here often.
Hand reaching back into the glove compartment, you grab a hold of a random disk, analyzing it as soon as you withdrew your hand back into your lap.
..The Cranberries, not too bad. Something to lighten up the mood a bit. Biting down on your bottom lip, you divert your attention away from the road for a millisecond— pushing the disk into the radio player with a swift movement.
The familiar intro of Linger began to play. Your two hands clutched onto the wheel tighter, letting out a squeal as a result of hearing one of your favorite songs.
What seemed like forever, you wondered if the road was going to look different anytime soon. It felt as if you haven't seen some sort of sign telling you there would be a bed and breakfast ten minutes up, but you simply brushed it off.
"..And I'm in so deeep, you know I'm such a fool for youuu.." Taking advantage of the empty roads, you notched the volume a bit higher, belting out your shower-learnt vocals with all your heart.
Concerning LEDs flashing on your dashboard suddenly caught your eye, your singing stopping right in the middle of the chorus.
Frantically looking down at the light, and at the road in front of you, the sensible decision to pull over came across your mind— your car quickly swerving to the side of the road, Linger still, playing as everything started to go downhill.
"W-what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" Your hands fall onto your lap, brows furrowed at one warning appearing after the other, a whimper slipping past your lips as worry grew.
Looking out the rear window, then to the front, you've realised you're all alone. No help nearby, not for another while. Groaning, you darted your eyes back to your dashboard, seeing about three more warnings show up.
"Fuck- not now, oh come on!" ...Can't even get peace on my day off, can I?
Pulling on the latch underneath, you popped the hood open. Killing the ignition, you grab your zip-up from the backseat, throwing it on before stepping out of the car; sizzling, and smoke coming from under the hood.
"I swear.. if this is a trap for a murder film, just take me already. My survival instincts are through the roof.."
Sighing, you lift the hood up, a big cloud of grey smoke slapping you in the face, like you could suffocate any moment now.
"The hell?!" Coughing, you fanned your face, taking a few, cautious steps back from the vehicle. As soon as the smoke had went away, you leaned back in; analysing each part of your engine.
A scoff escapes your mouth, silently laughing at yourself. "Literally what the fuck am I meant to be looking at." Knuckles resting atop your hips, you stood up straight, chipping away at your fingernails with your teeth.
"..Okay, maybe I'll try and start it... and if all goes wrong- call the insurance company."
Blowing out a relieving breath, you sit back into the driver's seat, twisting the key, trying to get your car to start.
Nothing but the sweet sound of failure. Two more tries, and still the same outcome.
"..Insurance company.. right."
Unable to locate your phone, you let out a confused noise- looking sideways and upside down your car for it. "..Where could it.. be..?"
Though.. something seemed, off. Your head slowly rose up from below the passengers seat, peeping just above the car door.
A man, walking- closer, and closer.. It seems. Your heart began to thump against your chest- begging to jump out. Breathing labored, your eyes widen, body freezing at the most inconvenient of times. Wait, is he holding an axe?
"M-my.. my phone?!" With haste in your movements, you rummage through everything like a mad man, making a total mess of your car- the same mysterious guy getting closer and closer, tauntingly walking out from the deep woods.
Sitting back against your seat, your mouth gapes open; eyes glued straight ahead. This is it, I manifested it. Now why on earth did I say that?! It's over for me, I'm cooked.
You let out a mewl, attempting to sob, solely squeezing your eyes shut. Too scared to look one last time to your side, you took a few deep breaths, chanting mini prayers to save the last bit of you.
A tap on the window came from your side, your one eye opening itself. Hesitant, you slowly turn your head; seeing a muscular torso at the window tapping the glass with the handle of his axe, before the man leans down to show his face.
Dressed in jeans and a flannel, with jagged, raven colored hair— and a face to perfectly compliment his jacked up body. I see. But now's not the time to play a dating game.
"..Ma'am?" His voice deep, and rusty, your face grew more concerned, mouth still gawking like a freak in fear.
"..God, p-please don't kill me.." A quiet peep comes from you, the man resting a hand on your roof, still bent down, and chuckling.
"Lady, I could see your car smokin' all the way from my cabin. I couldn't help but see what's the matter. You want me to check it out for you, or not?" His voice happened to be quite faint from behind the glass, though you could make out what he seemed to be saying.
"..Oh... I don't mind, I just have no clue what to do, I.." Words coming out in a blabber, you stumbled over what you wanted to say, confusion written all over the mans face.
"Slow down, will ya? Can't even comprehend half the words you're saying."
Shaking your head, you brushed it off. "You know what.. forget it.. just.. check what's happening under that hood, please?"
He nods, disappearing from your window to walk around to the front of the car. Deciding to step out too, you came to the conclusion that he seemed like an okay man to trust with your car. But you just had to make sure he wasn't gonna fit some sort of tracker underneath your engine..
Crossing your arms, you walked closer to the man, who seemed to know what he was doing. Observing from a few steps away, you watched him twist and turn at a few things, no fear in getting his hands dirty. He seemed bigger at this angle, a bit bigger than you, so if he were to murder you right now... it's over.
"..Do you always carry around that axe?" Referring to the same tool that was now on the ground, you noticed his lips curl into a smile, taking note of the fading scar on the side of his mouth also.
Letting out an amused chuckle, his eyes remained focused on the problem in front of him, but his voice was able to answer something else at the same time. "Living in the middle of the woods, I think you'd do the same."
You nod, accepting the answer with no further questions. Although a few more silly ones came out of you..
"Have you ever been chased by a bear.. while living out here?" Swaying back and forth on your tippy toes, your arms stay crossed, teeth chewing at your bottom lip as you anticipated a genuine answer.
He stops, torso still bent down but head looking up at you, facial expressions unimpressed. "Do pretty girls like you always ask all these stupid questions..?"
Blinking, you freeze, at the blunt compliment and sharp stab of his words. "..I was just curious. Also, I don't even know your name. You know, if you try to kidnap me, and I happen to escape, and-"
"Toji." Short and direct, he answers that question. "Now that you've told me your game plan, I could've easily lied about my name.
Your throat running dry, you clear it out with a grunt, Toji standing back up with an unhopeful look on his face. "..Yeah, your car is busted." He picks his axe back up, turning his body to you.
"..What? But- there's no reception here and.. I have no where to go..." Great. You've told him that you're helpless, and a young, vulnerable girl who's all alone on a solo trip.
"Wait- so you're telling me you're all alone, in the middle of these woods. Lady, do you not know that there's literally nothing here but dirt and trees?" His face scrunched up in disbelief, he genuinely wondered what a girl like you would be doing here.
"..I just wanted a holiday... on my own and.. I thought.. I could crash at some motel like in the movies and.. and.. pancakes.. oh the pancakes.." A sob chokes out of you, warm tears beginning to stain your cheeks at the thought of your vacation going downhill.
Toji, on the other hand looks more confused at this rate, his voice stammering, unsure of how to console you. A random girl, crying in front of him.. Great.
"Uh, don't cry- I didn't mean to.." Scratching at his nape, he waits until you stop crying your guts out, and successfully, you do. "Look, how about I'll fix your car for you, but first we get you a place to stay."
Sniffling, you look up at him, an ounce of hope springing back into you. "..R-really?"
Relieved, Toji was able to relax by the slightest after finally getting you to stop sobbing in front of him. Comforting wasn't his forte. "Yeah, don't worry 'bout it darling. But my cabin is the only thing I could offer right now. I told you, there's nothing in this place. No.. 'motel'..."
Looking back at your busted car, then returning to Toji, he shrugs his shoulders; mouthing, 'the choice is yours.' He wasn't pressuring you at all, but it was true that there was no other option. Outside the city wasn't all that, and you learnt the hard way.
"...Fine, just don't.. don't murder me.. I don't wanna die." Toying with the zip of your hoodie, you divert your gaze away from Toji, deciding to look at the ground instead.
He grunts, grabbing his head in frustration. "Would you quit with that murder bull-crap?! How many times do I have to say it. Should be me who's scared of a Michael Myers venturing 'round these woods." Toji shakes his head in disapproval. "Just grab your things and get movin' will you? Sun's about to set soon."
Unamused yourself, you shoot him a glare, walking over to the backseat door to grab your backpack full of everything. Slamming the door shut, you sensibly grab your keys, properly locking everything before Toji shuts the hood, resting his axe on his shoulder.
The man gestures you to follow him, hopefully not towards your death. Trailing behind his large figure, Toji occasionally glanced over his shoulder to make sure you were still there and didn't happen to run off; more than certain that you were shitting your pants right now.
Readjusting the heavy backpack on your shoulder, you struggled, mentally complaining, but too afraid to ask if you were there yet. Guess you'll take the blame for this one. Should've packed light I suppose..
"We're here, incase you were wondering." Toji stops in his tracks, turning his body back around to face you before making his way to the onto the porch.
Surprisingly, it was nice and big, and seemed homely. "Not gonna lie, I thought you lived in a run down shack in the middle of no where. With like, bugs and stuff?"
"Who do you take me for?" He scoffs, "Come in when you're ready. Also mind your step." Toji points out the mini stairs just below the porch, before disappearing off inside. He really made sure that you didn't feel pressured to do anything whatsoever. So he let you enter at your own will.
Taking note of your surroundings outside one last time, you let out a deep breath before stepping inside.
Warm air engulfed you, heat coming from a well built fire place. It actually was nice inside, and everything everywhere made sense. The architecture of the cabin really had Toji written all over it.
Nothing was run down. It felt like a home, just with a rustic style to it. The sofa actually had a throw draped over it, a flat screen tv mounted just above the fireplace. There was also a nice view of a body of water outside some large windows.
Toji paced around the sofas just after resting his axe safely in a corner, stretching his arms out; toned muscles flexing from the warm, yellowish light in the cabin.
"Make yourself at home, you take my room tonight. I'll crash on the sofa." He makes his way to the other side of the cabin, supposedly the entrance to his bedroom. Toji leaning against the door frame, he watched as you stood still in one spot, still observing your surroundings.
"Also has its own bathroom, so no need to worry about me walking in on you. There's locks too from the inside. And I don't care about you going through anything. I've got nothing to hide." Toji continues, he sure knows the questions you're about to ask. This man is always thinking ahead.
"..Thanks, Toji. That's really nice of you." Walking closer to the entrance of his room, you slide the backpack off your shoulder, holding onto the heavy load with two hands at this point. The backpack swings between your legs as you walk past him, Toji grunting before leaving you be.
He fucks off somewhere into the kitchen, meanwhile you lock the doors behind you immediately. You already smelled of bark and leaves, and not to mention, the stinky smoke from your car earlier.
Tossing your backpack onto an armchair nearby, eye glancing over a few frames with Toji in them. Some of him alone, with a fish in his hand, the other.. Possibly some old friends.
Curious, you looked around the dresser for some more things that could tell you a bit more about himself.
In the corner was a birthday card, which didn't evidently tell you his age, but you found out as soon as you opened it up to see what was written.
"Happy Birthday big guy, can't beleeve your old ass is 37! - Your pal, Gojo🖕"
Who the hell is Gojo? And, that's not old.. right? You scoffed more so at the fact that the word 'believe' was spelt wrong other than the badly drawn middle finger. Just a little habit of yours you can't control. Considering you were 22, Toji was kind of old enough to be your guardian, somehow.. but let's not get into that.
Attempting to place the card exactly where it had belonged, you were happy enough with your first try; still curious to find any hidden gems, but you were unsuccessful.
Letting out a hum, you took another look around your surroundings, nodding gently in approval at the view that he also had just outside of his bedroom. Seems like he knew how to build this place the way he wanted to.
Halfway pacing around his room, you realised that he probably thinks you've been silent for too long. Deciding to step into his bathroom, notice a shaver and some cream on the sink. Allowing the shower to run, you hoped the noise would calm his nerves to let him know you're still here, and alive.
Oh, being a curious cat you open his mirror cabinet just to take a tiny peek before your shower. Says he's got nothing to hide, so..
After-shave, lotion, pain-killers and a box.. An unopened box of extra large condoms.
You gulp before blinking rapidly, closing the mirror cabinet without a second to waste. You weren't sure if you should be mortified or impressed and relieved that they were unopened. Wait, as if it matters?
Locking the bathroom door just to be cautious, you quickly did so before stripping your clothes completely to the ground, kicking off your converse and socks before hopping into the warm shower.
The droplets trickled down your body, feeling more calm now that you've had a shower. Allowing the water to run over your hair, you scrubbed your scalp with your fingertips, completely soaking your body. You looked over to the shower caddy hanging on the wall before grabbing a familiar brand of shampoo.
Massaging that into your hair, you hurried on with your shower, making sure that you didn't hog all the hot water. You assumed that he had to start up a big ass generator minutes away just to get a drop of it, forgetting the fact that it was '24, and there was some such thing as a boiler.
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The shower ended up being just fine, and Toji didn't bother you at all. He didn't force the door open, don't worry; and everything was just the way it was left in the room.
You didn't have anything else left to wear than the matching tank and shorts set you bought at TJ-Maxx solely for this solo trip. You didn't have to worry about your feet being cold, as the hardwood floors were surprisingly heated.
Quickly drying your hair with one of his towels, you figured that he didn't have a hairdryer, so you had no choice but to leave it to air dry.
Finally unlocking the bedroom door, you opened it to see Toji busy behind the kitchen island. Assuming he was cooking, you made your way closer, sitting on a bar stool nearby.
Toji had a tea towel draped over his shoulder, and the smell of cooked meat entered your nostrils.
"If you're a vegan, it's your unlucky day." He says, clearly knowing you were seated behind him.
You laugh, resting your elbows on the counter, watching him like a hawk . "I eat everything, don't worry."
"Good." He says before turning back towards you with a plate of steak, potatoes and asparagus. Unlike earlier, this time a pleasant cloud of steam hit you in the face, the smell making your tummy grumble.
Toji has a plate of his own, leaning against the counter behind him as he watches your every move, waiting for you to take a bite. He pokes at a potato, tossing it into his mouth before saying something.
"Wake up early tomorrow, I'll teach you what to do in case something like this happens again. I don't expect you to follow a man again back to his cabin in the middle of no where.." Prodding at a few more pieces of steak, he notices you were busy digging into your own plate.
You just let out a hum of approval, Toji slowly sliding a glass of water towards you before you could choke anytime soon.
Setting your cutlery down, you look up at Toji standing, busy eating his own dinner. Here comes the wave of questions.. "Hmm, do you ever get lonely out here?"
Unphased by the question, Toji continues eating, but answers your curiosity. "Nah, I like being alone. I'm used to it anyways. Friends do come visit, but not always." He shrugs, unable to make eye contact with you.
"..I see.." Nodding, your mind jumps back to the unopened box of condoms back in Toji's bathroom, your inner voice mentally cursing at yourself for being too curious.
Letting famish get the best of you, you devoured everything on the plate in record breaking time, politely pairing the cutlery together on the dish. "Uhm, Toji? I can clean up. It's the least I could do."
The man just finishing his own plate, he sets it on the counter beside him, looking at you, impressed. "Seriously? 'right then."
Hopping off the stool, you make your way past him, feeling Toji's gaze burn into the back of your head, before you reached around him for his plate, and your own on the island. Bringing the two to the sink, you began to wash them with the sponge, occasionally looking out the kitchen window.
It had gone dark quickly. Who knows if Toji never had come across you.
"You got a boyfriend or what?" A first time question from the man, and it was one you didn't expect. He remained leaning against the counter, watching your every move from behind you.
Suppressing a panicked turn of your head, you kept your vision down at the dishes, gliding your hand over the dishes and under the water, you gulped before answering.
"No, not anymore. I broke up with him cause I found out he was cheating on me with some girl on the majorette team in college." Your insides burned at the memory of you walking in on them at a party bathroom, but you didn't let it get to you, not now.
Toji didn't let out a hum of approval, and instead stayed quiet. All he did was place your empty glass beside the sink that you seemed to have forgotten all about. Taking that too, you scrubbed it with the sponge before rinsing it off and placing it on the drying rack.
"All done," you dried your hands on the fabric of your shorts behind you, turning back around to Toji who was in the same position, but this time, his hands held onto the counter's edge on either side of him.
Peering at the drying rack around you, he pouted in approval, "Done a fairly good job I suppose,"
You scoff, "It was just washing dishes. Nothing hard."
"I'll be right back. No tomfoolery, and don't open that door." Toji glances to the front door, before disappearing off into his bedroom, the door closing. You thought nothing of it, walking over to the L-shaped sofa to see what was on TV. Some stupid deer documentary was on, typical, but you changed it to something more entertaining like a soap.
You assumed that he had no Netflix on it, and you were right. You can't really imagine Toji watching an episode of The Office.
Propping the side of your head onto your knuckles, your eyes bored at the screen, barely paying attention to what was on the TV. Glancing over to the clock on the wall, you read the time to be almost 9 o'clock, which shocked you.
Letting out your fifth sigh of the day, you flickered back and forth through the channels before hearing a door open behind you, Toji stepping out of his room, and this time, dressed in grey sweats and a t-shirt. His hair was slightly damp, as you noticed him sitting just after your feet, ensuring a distance between you two.
"What's this crap you're watching?" Toji rests his elbows on his knees before relaxing back onto the sofa, legs spreading as he made himself comfortable.
Tossing the remote over to his side, you roll your eyes. "Knew you would say that."
The man attempted to focus on the shit show in front of him, brows furrowing, but eventually he seemed interested.
Sitting up, you cross your legs, groaning. "There's nothing good on TV. I'm going to bed."
Toji looked to his side, watching as you stood up and left, and he had to admit— he did get a look at your behind. But no one could beat that out of him. "Alright, suit yourself. Sweet dreams. Remember, up early tomorrow."
You glanced behind your shoulder before stepping into his room, not shutting the door fully but leaving a slight gap between the frame and the door itself.
After scavenging through the side pocket of your backpack, you returned back into Toji's bathroom with your toothbrush this time. Stealing a pea of his own toothpaste, you stared at yourself in his mirror as you brushed away.
You could still hear his TV coming from outside, and it sounded like the channel didn't change. He was probably fixated on the show by now. After spitting out, you rinsed off your toothbrush, before heading back out to place it back into your backpack.
Before hopping into bed, you neatly folded your things away, ensuring you cleaned up after yourself as you hated leaving a mess behind, especially if you weren't in a space of your own.
Letting out a sigh, you crawled into his bed, surprisingly filled with two fluffy pillows, and not just one flat ass cushion. Toji's bed strongly smelled like aftershave, supposedly the one in his bathroom mirror. It was comforting though, and wasn't an unpleasant scent.
Covering your upper half with the duvet, you laid flat on your back, eyes staring up at the ceiling before your lids slowly grew heavy and soon enough, closing shut.
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You managed to sleep halfway through the night, until, it had began to thunder, and rain heavily. The drops pattered against the glass window, waking you from your slumber inconveniently.
Sitting up in bed, you look around, noticing everything was still the same. The door remained slightly open, and you could see that the TV has still been on until now, but sounded different.
Looking out the window, you couldn't see much from the heavy rain blinding the environment. It was lashing outside, and unfortunately, you were unable to fall back into sleep.
Pursing your lips together, you climbed out of bed, making your way to the door before opening it by a bit.
You treaded lightly, seeing Toji's head behind the sofa. Unable to tell if he was asleep or not, noticing that the TV was on, you approached him closer. Your head peeked over the sofa slightly, voice calling out his name.
"..Toji? ....Toji." You let out a loud whisper, the man grunting and turning his head around. It seems that he was fast asleep, but... sitting up. How scary.
"I can't sleep.. the weather, it's really awful outside." Nipping at the fabric of your shorts, you sucked in a labored breath of air through your nostrils before initiating a question. "..Can you- sleep beside me?"
Toji seemed less asleep, and now, he was wide awake. He looked over to the clock before reaching for the remote to switch off the TV. It was halfway through one in the morning. "What are you, nine?" He laughs before getting up from the sofa, trailing behind the sofa to follow you back into the room.
He questioned no more, and agreed. He'd do anything to be back in his room anyways, in the comfort of his bed, but of course knowing Toji— he'd never admit that.
The two of you hurried back into the bedroom, Toji automatically walking over to his side, while you, crawl back into bed. Making yourself comfortable again, you drape the cover over yourself, feeling the weight of the bed shift beside you, Toji making himself comfortable also.
You turn to your side, back facing Toji, unable to have him stare at your face all night. The room grew silent, and only the sound of the rain tapping against the window could be heard. Though you could still feel his gaze burning into your back, which happened to go away soon enough.
"No stupid stuff." He suddenly blurts out, which you were unable to decipher. Was he talking about what you thought he meant?
You decided not to respond, and instead, shifted around. You could feel Toji's natural body warmth all over your back, and with one more shift, you realised that he was close to you, actually, way too close to you.
But it was too late to move back, as you were too scared of irritating him by shuffling around so much that he'd kick you out.
A large hand snakes onto the side of your waist, gently gripping at your stomach. "Quit movin' around so much, will you?" It was Toji's hand, and he firmly kept you in place. Preventing any further movement. The continuous friction of your shorts against him had aroused him of some sort, and it was uncontrollable.
Another hard bump rested on the behind of your shorts, your eyes flying wide open, unable to shut now. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know.. I'll stop."
"Sure, you didn't know what you were doing?" You couldn't see the expression on his face, and could only judge by the tone of his voice. Too bad you were facing away from him right now.
Giving in, your body aggressively shifts to face him, the natural moonlight peering through the windows leaving a bright enough glow on his face.
You gulp, Toji hesitantly using his finger to move away the fly-aways covering your face to get a better look at you. "..Don't know why that jerk cheated on you."
"..You don't know me, so.." You let out, Toji's brows furrowing as he studied your features harder.
Alternating between your eyes and lips, he let out a mixture of a grunt and a laugh. "Should go for a real man."
Your breath hitches at his remark, your mind trailing off to other translations of his sentence. He talking about the fucking, or dating aspect?
Silence grew between you, his thumb carefully swiping over your soft bottom lip. The air grew thicker and thicker, a sort of tension lingering throughout the room. You couldn't tell what initiated it, but the air felt suffocating, like it had its own hold of you.
Leaning in closer to his face, your warm breath fanned against his lips before he cupped your cheek with his hand, holding you close as your mouths latched onto each other. The tension between you two diminishing as your tongues intertwined.
Toji laid flat on his back as you straddled him under the sheets, the kiss turning sloppier, with a blend of spit coating your chins, the two of you moaning into each other.
You whimper, pulling away as you felt his teeth tug onto your bottom lip, a long, string of saliva creating a bridge between the two of you, both panting, chests heaving heavily.
Swiftly stripping your tank above your head, the sudden air had bit your skin, nipples growing hard to the touch, all perky and erect. Unable to see in the midst of the fabric covering your sights, you could feel both of Toji's large hands cupping your breasts, massaging them— thumbs toying teasingly at your nipples.
Palms pressing onto the flat of your back, Toji guides your hips with no rush in his movements, back and forth, groaning at the grinding sensation over his sweats, head heavily leaning against the pillow. Your top slides down onto the bedroom floor, breath irregular as you felt the thick tent in his pants dig into you.
You both swap positions, Toji flipping the two of you around with ease and no struggle in his demeanor, the man anchoring himself between your thighs.
Toji's lips latch onto your breasts, warm mouth wrapped around one, sucking away hungrily as he fondled with the other. A pop leaves his mouth as he lets go, using a finger to flicker your nipple gently, your warm, spit-covered nipples growing hard once again as soon as it meets the cold air.
You watch as Toji goes down on you, breath shaking as he peppered kisses down your stomach, disappearing underneath the sheets; leaving a few pecks dangerously close, and somewhere on your inner thigh.
Feeling his pointer and middle finger tug at the waistband of your shorts, you could tell that he was waiting; and so you raised your hips up slightly, allowing him to drag them down your legs.
His hands clasp around your two thighs, bringing you closer to his face, though you just couldn't see; Toji's tongue leaving behind a wet stripe against your clothed pussy, your body shuddering at the feeling.
Your mouth could only gape open, your eyes peering up at the same ceiling as you let out breathless moans here and there.
Toji's middle finger tugged your panties to the side, allowing your bare pussy to be on show to him completely, finally landing yet another stripe with his warm tongue. He eagerly sucks, sticking his same middle finger in, fucking your hole gently as he alternates between licking and fingering.
Letting out quiet moans, you fondle with your breasts, legs squirming as he inserted another digit, Toji using both hands to rip your underwear completely as he sucked on your clit
Your hand reaches for the pillow behind you, fingers clawing at the fabric.
Toji raised his own hips, practically on his knees to be able to palm at his own cock as played with you for your own pleasure, getting off to your moans as he continued to have you undone with his touch.
You could hear him grunt lowly, from time to time, but grunting in disapproval whenever you'd stamp your thighs on either side of his head, trapping him between your legs.
Your head leaning back, you gasped, eyes rolling as Toji curled his fingers up into you, eventually allowing his movements to come to a complete halt, your throat mewling in dissatisfaction.
"Not so fast, wanna feel you cum 'round something else," Toji appears in front of you, arising from under the sheets; stripping his own shirt off his body before tossing it somewhere across the room.
His body shifted around, and you assumed it was to get the condoms, where you already knew was located. Though you quickly took a hold of the strings on his waistband, pulling him back.
"No- I wanna feel you raw, Toji," Looking up at him as you said so, still laid on your back; the man could've sworn that his cock twitched at what you had just said.
Surprisingly, he nods, moving about to get his pants fully off him, struggling a bit, but managing in the end.
Toji uses a hand to jerk his thick length repeatedly, the other free playing with the flesh on your waist. "You sure about this?"
"I am." You replied, busy wondering how he was gonna fit inside of you. The condoms weren't lying.
Slightly and slowly pushing his tip into you, followed by the rest, the two of you groaned at the feeling, Toji grabbing onto both sides of your waist eventually; grip growing tighter as he stuffed you full. Your fingers clawed at his wrists, a moan escaping your mouth as you felt his girth stretching you out, Toji using his thumbs to caress your sides gently.
"All good?" He made sure, and you nod, letting him know that he could move, and you were perfectly fine.
Toji's hips began to rock back and forth, occasional groans coming from him, mentally thanking you for the fact that you let him do it raw.
"..F-faster," you let out, Toji now placing both of his hands on either side of your head, his hips bucking into you faster and deeper; the bed slightly creaking from his movements.
He continues to groan endlessly, head jerking back as he felt your gummy walls take him completely, cursing over and over again. Toji smashes his lips onto yours again, you moaning as a result, the man taking your head into his hands as he held you close; forehead leaning on yours as his cock bullied your insides relentlessly.
Pulling away, Toji grabs both of your legs, resting your ankle on each of his shoulders— allowing him to fuck into you deeper, and be impossibly closer, the man fucking you into a nasty mating press as the creaking intensifies; the headboard beginning to hit against the walls, the legs of the bed scratching all over the floorboards.
"S-shit, To-oji," Voice breaking up your words, you dig your fingertips deep into the muscle on his shoulder, Toji moaning closely against the shell of your ear.
He growls, resting his forehead on yours once again, maintaining eye contact with you, so intimately; "That's it doll, moan my name, come on," he coos, watching as your eyes squeeze shut; the man reaching his hand up to gently slap it against your cheek— telling you to keep your eyes on him.
You do so, and endlessly chant his name like a prayer; Toji grinning and leaving a peck on your lips before letting your legs go, allowing them to flop on either sides of his waist, effortlessly flipping you back around.
Pulling out rapidly, the flat of his palm presses against your spine. Hands kneading at your ass cheeks as he spreads them apart, leaving a long wet lick from your pussy past your asshole, he slides his cock back into your dripping hole— maintaining his previous pace as he holds onto the headboard, drilling into you with no mercy.
Beads of sweat glistened his body like that pane of glass, strands of his recently washed hair now sticking to his forehead.
"Atta girl," he moans, slapping your ass and leaving a red hand-print. "Fuck, take this cock," Your ass rippling against his pelvis, Toji grabs a handful of the soft of your cheeks, fucking you back onto his cock; a symphony of ass slapping, and balls hitting against your clit sounding throughout the room.
Your forehead falls heavy onto the pillow, voice muffled as you moaned helplessly into it; Toji fucking you in all the right spots, he meant it when he said you should find yourself a real man. He was showing you, what a real man was.
"C'mon baby, I wanna feel you cum all over me, p-please?" Toji pleads, his thrusts slowing in pace, but still rutting in deep as he fucks you passionately, guiding you by your waist back and forth on his cock to get those last few strokes.
Toji leans forward, pressing a tender kiss on your shoulder blade, feeling down your back as he left a few more, shivers going down your spine as he roamed his hands all over you,
A creamy ring forms at his shaft, thickening over time as he continued to fuck in and out of you; playfully pulling his thick cock out to heavily rest it against your ass, gliding it between your cheeks before sliding it back in. His tip red, and glossy, your eyes rolled as he slipped himself inside.
Toji picks up the pace once more, urging you to your orgasm; your fingers clawing behind you, trying to stop him from moving any more, your two legs shaking as they attempted to stay up, and support you in your arch.
He grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling you back towards him; fucking your mind as he finishes you off from behind. "I'm gonna c-cum, oh fuck," you squeal, eventually making a mess all over his cock, squirting— Toji still fucking into you as your orgasm had washed over your body.
A dark puddle forms on the bedsheets underneath you, and your slick soaks on the flat of his thighs, a squelching noise emitting from underneath as you lazily rubbed circles on your clit; eyes rolling from the several sensations hitting you all at once— Toji’s cock continuing to piston into you.
Toji grunts, feeling you clench and unclench round his cock; a firm slap stinging against your left cheek as he instantly pulls out. "Turn around," he commands, breathing heavily and you obey; a firm grip still in your hair— the man guiding his cock with his index and thumb towards your lips.
Slapping his heavy girth against your mouth, warm ropes of white decorate your face; Toji grunting as he watches your face be painted with white, smearing his artwork all over your face, pushing his tip gently into your mouth as you sucked, sticking your tongue out for visual confirmation of the white orb of cum resting on it.
"Fuck.." he whispers, "Swallow it baby," Toji smacks his tip against your cheek, soon enough letting go of your scalp as he jerked his cock with a last few strokes.
Upon letting go, he immediately cupped your face into his palms once again, rewarding you with a tender kiss on the lips, sneaking a quick fondle at your breast.
Toji glances out the window, returning his gaze back to you glowing under the moon's light. The loud storm had stopped long ago. "..Don't you think those backshots were louder than that thunder clapping out there?"
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⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⤳ © luvwestwood ‘24. all works are owned by me, and originally come from my own head. please do not re-post on a third party platform without my permission!
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⤳ as always, thank you for the love on each and every one of my posts! it means the world to me. ily all soo soo much!
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Text
Never Yours
Pairings: Azriel x Reader, Azriel x Elain, Lucien x Reader
Summary: Azriel never regretted his decisions so much like he does right now.
Warnings: Angst (like a lot), fluff (also a lot because we need a balance)
Words: 6.1k
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You were born in Day Court during the longest and the warmest day of the year: Summer Solstice. Even though it's not a custom to exchange gifts on that holiday, your parents always told you that you were their greatest gift and that the sun shined brighter that day like he knew that you would be entering this world very soon. 
Your father was Helion's best and longest friend, and he had a place in his Court as his second in command and advisor. Your mother was the lead healer of the Court. She was one of the most powerful and talented healers of Prythian, being a very close second to Madja. 
Due to your parents' jobs, you grew up in the Day Court Palace and close to Helion, who didn't just happen to be your High Lord but also your godfather. 
Your parents reconsider that maybe making Helion your godfather had been a mistake because of how much he spoiled you. On your 4th birthday, he gave you a black baby pegasus as a present, which you decided to name him Blackjack. When he discovered that you liked reading, he had a private library built in your room with all kinds of books. When you were seven and heard an old male saying that females should only wear dresses, you only wore pants for the next three months and of course, Helion made sure you had every type of pants at your disposal. 
When your parents tried to scold him, he just scoffed with his only response being, "She's my goddaughter. What else am I supposed to do?" with a big grin plastered in his face.
You weren't Helion's child, but he always treated you like one, and that never changed, especially after your parents' death. 
Your favorite thing about your parents was their mating bond. After you learned that mates are rare and a blessing, it made every single thing about your parents' love even more unique and pure.
You saw first hand what true love is really like. You saw how much they loved, cared, supported, and protected each other. You saw loyalty and honesty in their deepest forms. Seeing your parents' mating bond made you wish to the stars for a mate, and that one day, you would be blessed enough to find him. 
But you also saw how deep a mating bond could go. You saw it first hand, too.
You saw it when your mother died after getting infected by a rare disease while trying to help her patients. Her death destroyed your father. The pain and the grief of losing your mother, his mate, and the love of his life were so big that your father followed her into the next life a few days later, so they could start their next journey together.
Before he died, your father made Helion promise him that he would take care of you, which he agreed without hesitation. He became more protective of you. He couldn't stop thinking how unfair it was for you to lose your parents at such a young age, only eleven years old, when Helion had them for centuries.
Your godfather made sure to provide you with anything you needed from the best education to the best clothes and when your healing powers start manifesting and you decide to follow your mother's steps, Helion called in a favor to Thesan to see if he could teach you himself. The High Lord of Dawn was happy to accept, and so were you at the thought of having him as your teacher.
You moved to Dawn Court for a year where you learned everything about being a healer, not only with the High Lord himself but also with his best healers. 
You became one of the best: talented, powerful, gifted, and wise. Just like your mother.
Madja was looking for an apprentice at the time you returned to Day, and when she heard about your skills, she asked for you. Rhysand reached out to Helion with Madja's offer: you would be her apprentice, work in the clinic with her but you would also assist her if she ever needed to go to a patient's residence, and would learn everything she could teach you. 
It wasn't needed to convince you to agree. You had heard about Madja and her healing, after Thesan, she was the healer you wanted to work with the most, so of course you were more than happy to have a chance to have her as your mentor. Rhysand added that you would be welcome to stay in one of his personal residences, the House of Wind, during your time in Velaris.
You were only supposed to stay in the Night Court for a year, but that was before you met the Shadowsinger. 
However, despite wanting the apprenticeship more than anything, if you had known what would happen when you agreed to go to the Night Court, you would never have accepted the offer.
-
Azriel couldn't sleep.
No matter how much he tried, he couldn't. Not with tomorrow so close, not when he knew what was waiting for him in the morning. 
The past was haunting him tonight, his thoughts hadn't stopped since he had been informed earlier of tomorrow's meeting. So now, here he was, trying to keep his eyes open even though his body was protesting for him to do the opposite.
But he was fighting that need because every time he closed his eyes, you were all he saw. Your beautiful face with your sparkling eyes, your smooth hair, your pointy ears, your sweet voice, and your soft laughter. You were haunting his thoughts like a punishment for all those years ago. 
So all he could do now was to sit on the edge of his balcony with his legs hanging off while waiting for the sun to be born, and remember how things used to be before he destroyed everything.
 -
Everything was perfect in the beginning. Velaris was beautiful, the people were kind, and the pastries were absolutely delicious. 
The only thing you actually missed, besides Helion, was the warmth of the sun like no other Court had but the Day Court. But that was just the Day citizen in you talking.
Your apprenticeship was going amazing. You and Madja had instantly connected, and you were learning so much. Two weeks later, you were already attending your own patients without supervision. You really had a gift, and every time Madja complimented your powers, you gave all the credits to your genes, to your mom. It warmed your heart knowing that the Mother had blessed you with this part of her. In this way, it felt like she was always with you.
The House of Wind felt just like home, and you adjusted perfectly. The Inner Circle had welcomed you with open arms, and you got along with everyone. They thought you and Morrigan would be the closest of all, but they got a big surprise when it turned out to be you and Azriel.
The Shadowsinger was different from everyone you ever met. Everyone in Day was so loud, open, and extroverted. But not him. He was calm, reserved, and difficult to read, but with time, you ended up finding out that the two of you were more alike than you thought. You were able to go through the shell that Azriel had so perfectly built around him over the centuries. 
A friendship was born. Every day, Azriel would fly you to the clinic and then back to the House. You explored Velaris together and made your personal mission to try every single restaurant and bakery from the City of Starlight. 
You walked along the Sidra and even stopped once in a while to dance along the melodies that the musicians were playing. You would read together whether that was in the library, in your room, or in his. You even started training with him and sometimes, Cassian.
You became each other's person. When a day at the clinic was hard or you would lose a patient, he was there to hug and comfort you, and you found yourself doing the same for him about his missions. So you decided to take the next step and spoke about your parents' death, how much still affected you losing them.
And in that moment, Azriel realized how much trust you put in him, so he decided to return it and opened about his past, his family, and his hands. You listened to every word, cleaned every tear, and held him for as long as he needed.
You found yourself falling in love with him a little more day by day, and it only took you a few months to realize that you were completely in love.
The day the bond snapped was one of the happiest days of your life. It happened during the most beautiful celebration in the Night Court: Starfall.
Your hair was tied in a long braid that reached down to your waist, decorating the braid were small yellow daylilies. You were wearing a golden dress that fit perfectly against your sun-kissed skin. The dress had a slit on the left side that went up to the top of your thigh, a single strap held the dress on your right shoulder and when you turned around, whoever was behind you could have a perfect view of your naked back. Golden jewels rested on your ears and neck. 
You looked like a goddess, one blessed by the sun itself. You were shining just like a Day Court citizen should.
Azriel standed next to you in the balcony while gazing at the spirits passing. Both of your hands rested on the stone of the balcony, and when you went to adjust your hand, it brushed against Azriel's. At the new feeling, you looked up to find his eyes, only to see the Shadowsinger already looking at you. In that moment, with the touching of your hands and the meeting of your eyes, the world stopped.
Your hands start interviewing, and everything else just disappeared.
It was just the two of you and the sound of your heartbeats. And then, a golden thread appeared and started tying your hearts and souls.
Azriel held your free hand and pressed it against his own chest, right where his heart laid. You followed his action, freeing your intertwined hands and putting his hand on your chest, above your heart. 
With the final loop of the golden thread around your hearts, Azriel bent down and kissed you. 
That moment couldn't be more beautiful and magical even if you tried. You had finally found the mate that you had wished to the stars all those years ago. 
Everything was perfect. You had everything you wanted and more. You lived in a beautiful city that you learned to love and were starting to call it home. You had the job of your life, working alongside one of your idols. Amazing friends that made you feel welcomed and part of a little family. And finally, your mate, the male you were in love with, long before that beautiful and sacred golden thread. Everything was perfect.
But of course, nothing lasts forever. And all of that disappeared when Elain Archeron came into the picture.
-
Ten years. He couldn't believe that much time had passed. All those years without you.
It had been ten years since the last time he saw you. Ten years since he had heard something regarding you. Ten years since he had broken your heart. And ten years since he had made the biggest mistake of his entire existence.
You had moved back to Day Court after that day, after what happened and after what he did. 
The High Lord of Day had forbidden Azriel from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way. And months later, when the rumors of a certain Shadowsinger flying above the Palace in hopes to get a glimpse of you reached his ears, Helion banned him from his Court.
Helion had always been a very charismatic and loving person. He's kind, generous, and a very good friend. He gets along with almost everyone, always joking around and laughing.  Some people may say that he's the nicest and kindest High Lord that Prythian has ever seen. 
When problems arise, he always tries to find a solution to solve them or if a solution is not possible, a way to improve them. But not this time. Not when it comes to you and his son, Lucien.
Because your heart wasn't the only one to be shattered that day, no, Lucien's heart was a victim, too. So, from that moment, everything that Helion did was to protect you and Lucien, to make sure that you felt safe, that you had space and time to heal. You thought that was ironic, considering you were a healer yourself.
Azriel's banishment wasn't the only consequence from the events of that day.
That day also cost the alliance between the Day Court and the Night Court, and when the alliance fell apart, so did Helion and Rhysand's friendship.
But Azriel wasn't the only one to blame for all of this. Elain Archeron was guilty, too. She, too, was banished from the Day Court and forbidden to contact Lucien in any way.
But unlike Azriel, Elain's actions cause far more consequences than his. 
The Autumn Court followed the same decisions as the Day Court. The banishment of Azriel and Elain and the prohibition of any kind of contact with Lucien. Eris, now the new High Lord of the Autumn Court after Beron's death, didn't take lightly to what happened to his little brother. 
The two of them had reconnected after Eris became High Lord. They talked through everything that had happened in the last centuries, made peace with their past, and decided to move forward together. Now, the brothers were inseparable and had the kind of relationship they had always wanted since they were younger. So when Eris heard what had happened, he considered those actions as a personal attack. 
He went as far as to offer Lucien the opportunity to choose the Blood Duel, which his little brother refused, saying that all of this had already caused enough pain. Eris wasn't angry just because of Lucien. He was angry because of you, too. You were the first person to give him the benefit of the doubt, the first one to not judge him, unlike the others you tried to get to know him, to be his friend and he let you. 
You were the first one to know the real Eris, to know what he hid behind the mask. Therefore, you had a special place in his heart. Even if you didn't share the same blood, you were part of his family.
But that didn't stop with Day and Autumn.  Spring joined them, too. 
Despite everything that happened and the fact that they were still working on their friendship, Tamlin's loyalty remained with Lucien. Spring had been Lucien's home for decades, and with that came a brotherhood between the two of them. 
Needless to mention that Jurian and Vassa's loyalties also remained with Lucien.
To everyone outside the situation, all of this may seem overreacted and exaggerated. But to everyone involved, it's not.
After all, you and Lucien almost died. That's what happens when a mating bond is rejected.
-
Azriel couldn't believe things had turned out this way. He was so sure that the Cauldron was wrong, that he belonged with Elain. Three sisters for three brothers. How more poetic could it be?
There were signals everywhere: Feyre with Rhysand, Nesta with Cassian, and Elain with him. Elain wouldn't go close to Lucien or talk to him, but she would sit next to him whether during dinners or on the couch, she would talk to him, and requested his company when she went to the garden or to the city. Even his shadows disappeared every time he was with her.
Weren't those signals clear enough? They were meant to be. The Cauldron was wrong. 
So Azriel did what he thought was right. He rejected the mating bond with you, and Elain did the same with Lucien. 
He never thought that the rejection of the bond would've almost cost your life.
That memory still gave him nightmares to this day. How pale you turned, how you sank to your knees with your hand pressed against your chest, tears running free down your cheeks and muffled screams leaving your lips. How much pain you had suffered and how he had been the cause of it. How once, not that long ago, he had been the reason for your smiles, laughs, and giggles.
But that memory wasn't his. It was Rhysand's. Rhys, who had to go through your mind shields, and knock you unconscious so the pain would stop and that memory led him to another memory. 
The memory of that day and the things that had followed after he shattered your heart.
-
Azriel wasn't there the moment it happened. No, he was too busy kissing Elain after admitting how much they craved each other. 
And while he kissed Elain, he felt that golden thread tying the two of you breaking and start slowly to disappear.
Nothing could have prepared him for that last memory of you when he and Elain were summoned to the River House a few hours later.
Rhys had shown him not as a courtesy but as a lesson of how much his actions can affect others. But you weren't just some other. You were his mate. Former mate. Ex-mate.
Azriel made a move to go find you. He needed to explain it to you, and he needed you to understand, but you were already gone.
Rhys told him that after you regained consciousness, Lucien took you with him back to Day Court. 
Lucien. Who you had become instantly friends with since the male's arrival in Velaris. You had treated him just like you were when you moved to the Night Court. You showed him the city, the good restaurants and the best pastries, and also told him about Helion, now that he knew the High Lord was his father and he was his Heir. You wanted him to feel like home, just like you did. 
When Azriel made his intentions clear to go to Day and find you, Rhys showed him the letter Helion had sent. The one that forbidden him from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way. The one that also had the same indications to Elain regarding Lucien. And that if any of them tried to disobey his orders, there would be consequences.
Azriel knew of protective the male was of you and that he would do anything to protect his family, so for a split second, Azriel found himself fearing the High Lord. 
Rhysand also ordered them to stay away from the two of you, stating that they had already created enough problems and the Night Court could not afford a war with Day. 
After they left his office, Rhys sat down on his chair, trying to think how he was gonna solve this. His mind kept going back to you and Lucien. 
He was there when Lucien came for you, the red headed male was also pale and every few minutes, his hand would press to his chest in pain, his eyes were still red, probably from the tears he had shed.
Rhys knew that Helion's letter wouldn't be the only one he would receive that day. And like he was right, three more letters arrived during it. First from Autumn, then Spring and the last one from the Band of Exiles. 
Rhys passed a hand through his black hair and released a long sigh, Azriel and Elain actions had just cost four allies to the Night Court.
-
When you and Lucien arrived in Day, Helion almost fell to his knees at your sight.
You were in Lucien's arms, your eyes half open with tears still following down your cheeks. One of your hands was against your chest, rubbing small circles in a way of trying to get rid of the pain. Lucien wasn't much better.
Helion headed towards you and started examining you for injuries, but he found nothing, and when confusion made his way to his features, Lucien told him everything.
The confusion was replaced by anger, but the anger wasn't just directed towards the Shadowsinger and the middle Archeron sister. Some of it was towards himself. 
Towards himself, because seeing you like that, Helion felt that he had broken the promise he made to your dad and that this was his fault.
Without giving time for any more thoughts to fill his mind, Helion led Lucien to your room, where the Heir laid you on the bed. You had fallen asleep in his arms with your cheeks still stained. 
Lucien sat on the chair by your desk that was placed in front of your bed and said to Helion that he would stay with you. Helion gave him a firm nod, remembering that Lucien didn't have a room yet in his Palace, but he was about to fix that.
Helion didn't waste any time after making sure that the two of you were okay for now. 
He called two of his servants to prepare a room for the young Heir and went straight to his office where he wrote the letter and sent it to Rhysand.
The next week's were a complicated ones but showed that time was the best healer. 
You no longer spend the days locked in your room alone. You started to eat properly again and went back to work. Day by day, you were smiling more and sometimes making jokes.
Lucien improved as well. He decided to live in the Day Court for the time being and took his place as Helion's second in command. His relationship with Helion was also getting stronger over time. They were making up for the lost time.
But that wasn't the only thing that changed. Your relationship with Lucien also changed.
You got closer than ever, due to the fact you were the only ones who knew what the other was going through.
You found comfort in each other's presence and started spending more time together to the point where you became each other's favorite person. 
Little by little, you start helping each other heal. You started putting back together the pieces that had been broken, and the pain started slowly fading until the day that it didn't hurt anymore.
You two mended your hearts and souls, and for the first time, in a long time, you were full again.
Your friendship grew, and so did your feelings for each other.
-
Azriel couldn't believe how wrong he had been. Because the Cauldron wasn't wrong, it had never been wrong. 
He was the one who was wrong. Right from the beginning.
He and Elain had tried a relationship after yours and Lucien's departure. It worked for six months until it didn't.
Azriel questioned himself why the relationship was starting to fail and why being with Elain was starting to feel wrong.
It didn't take him too long to understand the reason. It was because she wasn't you. He found out that the reason his shadows disappear every time he was with Elain wasn't because they were destined but because they were with you. 
His shadows would leave him and Elain to go find you, like they were stating that they wouldn't betray you, that they chose you. On the day he broke up with Elain, he found his shadows in your old room, which once was filled with colors, books, paintings, and light, and now was empty, dusty, and dark. The shadows were swimming around your Starfall dress, the one you wore on the day your bond had snapped. The sight of the dress was painful, and he understood why it had been left behind.
Azriel had tried to apologize, he flew to Day Court and around the Palace trying to find you but he never did and the next day Helion sent a letter with his and Elain's banishment, making Autumn and Spring to have the same decision. 
He understood why, they were trying to protect you and Lucien, and even though he didn't have the right, he just wanted to know if you were okay. Ironic, considering he was the reason you were suffering. 
He asked Rhys several times if he knew something about you, and Rhys revealed to him that you weren't talking to him or the other members of the Inner Circle either. You had stated that it was too early and still very painful. 
So they respected your decision and kept their distance. 
That had caused Azriel's guilt to grow even more. How he wished for Nesta to still have her powers so he could go back in time and repair all of this.
The light of the sun broke his thoughts. The sun was finally making its appearance in the orange and yellow sky. 
Azriel released a long breath and looked at the clock perched on his bedroom wall. 
The morning was here, and he was only two hours away from seeing you.
-
The Inner Circle stood at the entrance of the Day Court Palace. 
Helion had lifted the banishment for this meeting with yours and Lucien consent.
Both of you said that it had been a long time and that the past should stay in the past, but that didn't mean you would be accepting any apologies today.
Koschei was on the rise again, and Prythian needed to come together once more. Right now, your past didn't matter.
The doors swung open, and the Inner Circle made their way inside. A servant led them to the conference room located in the same hallway as Helion's office on the first floor of the Palace.
They sat at the marble table while the servant informed them, "The High Lord will be here in a few minutes." Receiving a nod and a 'Thank you' from Rhysand, the servant left.
Rhys started, "Y/N and Lucien will also be in this meeting. Now, Helion was nice enough to allow the two of you back here, so do not ruin this." He finished while looking at Azriel and Elain, making them both nod their heads.
Helion entered the room, and the Inner Circle raised from their seats. The High Lord of the Day Court made his way to the head of the table. He turned to the side where Rhys, Feyre, and his Inner Circle stood at his left before offering his hand to Rhys to shake it.
Taken by surprise, Rhys needed a few seconds to process what was happening before accepting his hand. Once they had shaken hands, everyone returned to their seats, but not before Helion sent a disapproving look in Azriel's and Elain's direction.
A few minutes into the meeting, the door to the conference room opened again. And there you were. 
You were dressed in Day attire, a beautiful white dress that hugged your body, with your hair loosen and golden jewelry adorned your neck and ears. Lucien was by your side also wearing Day attire, one that matched Helion's, with your hand in his.
The Inner Circle held their breaths at your sight. It had been ten years, but all the memories came flashing back to them. 
You looked the same, but when you two approached the table, that's when they saw it and shock spread all over their faces.
Azriel couldn't believe what he was seeing. He didn't know what he was expecting to see at this meeting, but it wasn't this.
It wasn't the golden ring that you and Lucien had matching on your left hands informing him that you were married that shocked him.
It was the small and round belly that your free hand was resting on and the sweet vanilla scent that was filling the air. The scent of yours and Lucien's baby. 
"Apologies for our delay," Lucien started, then looking in your direction with a smile continued "Someone had a big appetite this morning." He ended with a laugh.
You looked at his gaze, a genuine smile on your lips. "Shut up." You whispered.
Lucien grabs the back of your chair, pulling it to give you enough space to sit. "Thank you, my love." You said while watching him taking the seat at your right, making you stay seated between him and Helion.
For the first time since you entered the room, you looked at the people in front of you. "Night Court," you greeted with a small smile. 
Feyre was the first to say "Congratulations Y/N. And Lucien." 
Lucien spoke this time. "Thank you, Feyre." He rested his hand on your belly.
"How far long are you?" Rhysand's voice reached your ears.
Looking in his direction, you answered, "23 weeks. Lucien thinks it's a girl, but I think it's a boy," you added. That made Rhys smile.
"I always took you for a boy mom." Amren's voice surprised you and couldn't help but smile at her words. "Congratulations to you two, the Mother knows you deserve it." She finished with a genuine smile.
Lucien looked at Azriel and Elain before directing his eyes to the ancient one "Yes we do. Thank you, Amren." Lucien paused for a second before turning in Helion's direction and continuing. “Let's not keep holding on to the meeting. Please go on, dad." 
Helion proceeded with the meeting, but Azriel didn't listen to a word that was said. He couldn't tear his eyes from you and Lucien. 
There was no doubt of the love you two shared, not when it was written in both of your eyes. He didn't miss Lucien caresing your belly, and pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, passing his thumb over your jaw and kissing your cheek after.
Or how you rested your right hand on top of his on your belly while your left passed through his long red hair before resting around his shoulders and your smile while doing it.
What bigger proof did he need of your love if not for the baby you were carrying? Lucien's baby, he kept telling himself. Not his. Lucien's.
Jealousy invaded his body, but there was nothing he could do. He made his decision ten years ago, and now he had to live with it.
Lost in his thoughts, he only realized the meeting was over when everyone started standing. Rhys and Helion were finishing talking, and when the doors opened one more time, Eris Vanserra walked in with a little ginger boy in his arms. He couldn't be more than five years old.
He looked exactly like Lucien, except for his eyes. Those were yours. 
Azriel's heart sank, and it sank even more a few seconds later, when the little boy spotted you and Lucien. You already had a baby and you were about to have your second.
With a big smile appearing on his sweet face, the little boy almost shouted, "Mommy! Daddy!" The boy jumped from his uncle's arms and ran to you.
You bend down and gather the happy boy in your arms before standing again and passing a hand through his ginger curls and saying, "Hi baby." You peppered his face with kisses making him laugh even more "I thought you were having fun with your uncle." You said looking at your brother in law.
Your son pouted “Uncle Eris doesn't know how to play. He onlys wants to do the boring stuff mommy.”
Everyone in the room chuckled, Eris gasped with fake hurt “Excuse me?”
“Elijah.” Lucien chuckled and said to your son after joining your side “Don't be rude to your uncle.” 
“But it’s the truth, daddy.” Elijah hid his face on your neck. 
Eris approached the little family with a smile directed to his nephew. "Sorry. I tried to keep him entertained, but he just kept asking about you two." 
Lucien noticed his older brother had paint and glitter on his white shirt and laughed at the thought of his son giving him a hard time before exclaiming, "It's alright, brother. We were about to leave anyway." 
The little boy settled in your arms and rested his head against yours, Lucien started rubbing his back when the little boy caught the sight of his grandfather and asked before anyone could stop him "Grandpa, how was the meeting with the idiots from the Night Court?" 
The room went quiet, and a few gasps escaped. At your son's words, you turned to look at Helion, now on mom's mood. "Helion! How many times do we have to tell you not to speak like that in front of him?" 
The room erupted in laughter at your statement.  The air became lighter, and Helion put his hands in surrender, promising you that it wouldn't happen again. 
You gave him an incredulous look, saying that you didn't believe him. Your son wrapped his tiny arms around your neck and rested his head on your shoulder with a yawn leaving his lips. 
You rubbed your son's back while speaking to him. "Cmon Elijah, let's leave before your grandpa comes up with a new bad word for you to learn." 
“Bad grandpa” your son agreed with you while earning new chuckles from the Night Court. 
Even though he was trying to hold his smile, Azriel failed, your son was too adorable.
You turned your gaze to the Inner Circle and gave them a smile. "It was good to see you all." 
"You too, Y/N. I missed you." Cassian replied.
Your smile stretched before telling him, "I missed you too, Cass." 
The nickname made his heart ache. Maybe there's still a chance for you to reconnect.
You turned to look behind you, meeting your husband's eyes "You're coming Lu?" 
A pink blush made its way to Lucien's cheeks "Of course, my love" The Heir looked at his father "We'll see you at dinner, dad. Night Court." He said giving the Inner Circle a small nod before joining you and wrapping his arm around your waist and giving a kiss to your now sleeping son.
Amren spoke again “See I told you were a boy mom.” A smile never leaving her face.
“You're right. If this baby happens to be a boy as well, I'm gonna be in trouble.” You replied with a arm holding your son and while the other made it's way to your belly.
“No your not, you're gonna be great.” Nesta spoke, a genuine smile on her lips “We already can see you are.” She gestured to the little boy sleeping in your arms. 
“Thank you, Nes.” You were grateful for her words.
On your way out, you met Azriel's eyes but you couldn't find the words so you simply gave him a nod with a small smile and Azriel returned the gesture.
When the door closed, Amren was the first to break the silence "Well, the Mother has a sense of humor." 
Everyone turned to look at her but she focused her gaze on Azriel and Elain "You rejected them because you believed you belonged with one another only for your relationship to fail six months later. And now," she released a laugh "your former mates found their way towards each other. Fell in love, got married, had a son and have another baby on the way. Ironic isn't it?" She said with the feline smile returning to her lips. 
It was Helion who spoke next, amusement all over his face "Indeed. I guess karma is a bitch." He sent a disapproving look one more time in the direction of the two people who almost cost him his family before exiting the room.
Amren's and Helion's words stung but Azriel knew it was nothing but the truth. He realized in that moment, that despite your life now and how things turned out, you would never forgive him.
He had lost you forever and now he had to live with regret for the rest of his life.
After all, you were no longer his. 
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A/n: Thank you for reading! I'm thinking in making a general taglist so if you wish to be added let me know.
the beautiful dividers belong to @cafekitsune
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upsidedownmvnson · 1 year
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eddie's little somethings
aka some of the ways eddie shows you he loves you
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he is your personal driver: even when you don't ask, he shows up after your shift to drive you home whenever he can, brings you to and from school, and never wants to let you drive. he just loves how you look in the passenger seat, window open, hair flying everywhere. he can put his hand on your thigh. his perfect little passenger princess <3
he wants you around 24/7, just sitting beside him, even if you're doing your own thing. especially when he's dm'img at hellfire, sometimes you'd just read a book beside him, if you weren't involved in that particular campaign
he's actually a big fan of pda, he loves causing a scene, and he loves showing everyone that you're all his. so what better way than making out with you against a locker, or keeping his arm around you for the entire lunch period. if you share a class, he'll sit beside you and have his hand on your thigh the whole time. more comforting than sexual.
one of the rare occurrences that eddie cancelled hellfire was because you had a terrible day, and you just wanted to go home instead of hangout with the party, so he cancelled it and took you home, even when you insisted he could just come over after.
eddie kisses every inch of you like he's looking for a secret. he makes sure you know he thinks every inch of you is perfect. from love bites on your thigh, to kisses behind your ear, up and down arms and legs, all over your back while he gives you a massage omfg (i'm writing smut based off of this, stay tuned)
one time he asked you if you would be comfortable with him looking at porn "not because i want to right now, but like, don't wanna cause an issue later, yaknow babe?" and you thought that was very mature
when he's meant to give you gift (birthdays/holidays etc) he prefers to make something. one time he recorded two cassettes of himself playing all your favourite songs, one slow, instrumental & acoustic for studying, and one how they were meant to be sang for jamming. he's also made a popsicle stick diorama of your childhood tree fort that was torn down, and a DnD campaign on your birthday based on your favourite fantasy movie (wrote a follow up to this point: here)
he likes to bring you a little treat. when hes on his way over he'll often stop to grab a cookie, or a smoothie. just something nice for him to give you. he likes to do anything to make you smile
he makes a huge effort to partake in your interests and hobbies, and makes sure not to accidentally dominate your shared time with his band, and his club. he wanted to make sure the attention was split between you, a healthy balance for a healthy relationship <3
he dedicates a song to you at every single gig, as if it's not the same crowd every time. but he doesn't care, he's just happy you're still excited to see his shows
eddie always asks for your opinion on everything, and while it's not always what he wants, he always takes yours into account, and if it's something you two have to decide together, he wouldn't stop trying to figure out a perfect compromise.
he loves to feel skin on skin contact. when you guys are just hanging out, he always finds some way to get his hand on your skin, whether it's your thigh, or rubbing your back, or just holding your hand. he likes the comfort of you nearby. but in bed, he likes to press his chest into yours during missionary, wrapping up your legs together and coddling your head in his arms, laying as flushed against you as he possibly could
eddie also just straight up says "i love you" like a million times a day
i am going to write 1000000 more eddie headcanons so feel free to request
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gi4hao · 6 months
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🗓️ ᡣ𐭩ྀི ˎˊ- anniversary dates with seventeenྀི
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hyung line version! (scoups -> woozi)
had a really sunny weekend so please enjoy these sunshine-fueled scenarios!
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— seungcheol
turns out your anniversary took place during a vacation together, a week-long holiday near the beach. on the d-day, he refuses to say anything about his plans, no matter how many times you ask, to the point where you end up blindfolded as he leads you to his surprise. when you take the blindfold off, the only thing you can see is a white boat awaiting on the shore. at first you’re scared he might have actually bought the boat, but he ‘only’ rented it for a private dinner. the sun has just started to set and you’re glad to have picked one of your cutest outfits because you just know he’s going to be taking as many pictures of you as he can. you might be admiring the sunset, but he'll be admiring you the whole time.
— jeonghan
he truly racked his brain to find the per-fect date idea. on the day, he keeps you guessing with more than vague hints (like “we talked about doing that one day” as if you didn’t talk about literally doing everything together). but he’s confident in his surprise and rightfully so: at first you think it’s just a regular picnic, which would have been fine on its own, but as more people start to gather around you, you realize that a lantern festival is actually taking place here tonight. together, you scribble your wishes and dreams for the future on your lantern. and you love how he’s not even trying to hide what he’s writing: one thing about jeonghan, he’ll never try to conceal anything about his feelings for you.
— joshua
this one has a proud smirk plastered on his face the entire morning, hinting at a surprise. you get in his car around 9am and drive for about twenty minutes until he stops in front of a fancy looking building. “you know how we always talk about moving to a bigger apartment yet never actually visit anything? well i figured today would be the day…”, he tells you excitedly. and it’s only when the realtor meets you on the street that you realize joshua has actually booked a visit. more than one, in fact: throughout the day, you visit four apartments, walking from one to the other hand in hand, already fantasizing about what life is going to look like for the two of you.
— jun
both having a busy schedule, you recently told jun you missed having a proper dinner together and it’s given him the best idea for your anniversary: a nice dinner together without the practical difficulties of going to a fancy restaurant. when you come back home that evening, you find your place tastefully decorated with various candles, flowers and fairy lights. as for jun, he’s done his hair the way you like it best, dressed in an outfit you love, wearing the same perfume from when you first started dating. with a sheepish smile, he guides you to the balcony where the table is set, revealing the stunning city view from your apartment.
— hoshi
his plan for today is to make you feel as loved as ever, and that requires day-long dedication, starting with mandatory prince.ss treatment all morning. around 11, he tells you it’s “time to go” although you still have no idea what he’s talking about. but a 45 minutes drive later, you can make out the blueish color of the sea in the horizon. with him by your side, you know it won’t be just any beach day: picnic on the sand, a long walk along the shore spent saying “look, it’s us!” when you see two relatively close rocks, and most of all, soaking up the sun together in the water, all while being that clingy couple who cannot stop swooning over each other.
— wonwoo
this morning, wonwoo wakes up particularly early to cook breakfast for the both of you. you’re already awake by the time he’s done, but he looks so adorable trying to balance the tray while opening the door with his foot that you pretend like you’re still asleep. later, he surprises you with a gift which looks… a bit odd. you didn’t really expect a QR code. but you scan it anyways, and then everything starts to make sense: the QR code brings you to a website, a shelter website more specifically. “are we…”, you start, a huge smile already on your lips. “going on a shelter date to get a cat? absolutely”, he replies, glad you’re enjoying his surprise as much as he hoped.
— woozi
to him, this is the perfect day to show how much your relationship means to him, because he fears you might not know it well enough (you do). so he’s got a little something prepared… the first part of his plan is to fake an apology: “i’m really sorry, i completely forgot…”. second part is to say he’ll take you to movies another day, which you accept, still half-upset. and finally, last part is to welcome you home on the d-day, takeout ready on the table but most importantly, with a homemade outdoor cinema right in your backyard. thick mattresses, fluffy pillows and a large white screen facing a brand-new projector, he went all out to make sure you feel as cherished as he always does.
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REQUESTS ARE OPEN!
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lasabarcassims · 7 months
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LasAbarcas Base Game Save File 1.0
My Base Game Save File is complete!!! Download it here!
UPDATED VERSION AS OF 3/18:
OLD VERSION:
My goal with this save was to make the base game feel super ALIVE and full of personality - basically what we all wanted the base game to be originally. This save is full of lore: each household has a story (some inspired by iconic Sims lore, others original), each Sim has relationships outside their home, each world has a description and each neighborhood within each world is built with a very specific vibe that draws particular Sims to live there, all community lots (and some residential lots) have descriptions, and even the graves (and ghosts) at the Willow Creek church graveyard tell a story. There are TONS of community lots in this save that all feel different from one another and are designed with different kinds of Sims (personalities, career types, ages, etc.) in mind to give everyone multiple things to do outside the house.
All lots were built using only the base game (disclaimer: occasionally my game adds pack-specific items, like a kind of food, during playtesting, so it might say there is a pack-specific item on a lot but it's not meant to be there!), but many lots were built with other packs in mind. For example, the save has restaurants, a boba shop/thrift story, a cafe/retail space, a community garden, a high school, and so on that are base game only. So, if you only have the base game or limited packs, it should feel like you have more to do than the base game provides and open up your gameplay with a little imagination.
If you do have more packs, the lots should easily convert to their intended lot type to allow more functionality. You should also find things that come in other packs available in the save. For example, many Sims have university degrees, all Sims have cold/hot weather clothes, there are loads of clubs for Sims to be in (each with a description - MORE LORE hah!), and the calendar is filled with holidays/events.
Here's a little tour of the Save:
WILLOW CREEK:
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Most families in Willow Creek have lived here for generations. These families strongly value their roots and create such a strong sense of Willow Creek identity that the transplant families have taken on this identity as well, leaving the town full of people who proudly work to preserve and celebrate the town’s vibrant history and traditions. Families in Willow Creek tend to have a more traditional approach to family life/dynamics and care about the family’s image/status within Willow Creek.
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OASIS SPRINGS:
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Oasis Springs had its heyday several decades ago when its space exploration industry was booming, but when the industry fizzled out, the town lost a lot of business, wealth, and residents. However, those that remain take pride in their retro desert town and clearly see what remains: a beautiful, unique, special place to call home. Families in Oasis Springs tend to be a bit quirkier, care little about what other people think about them, and focus more everyday happiness than career success.
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NEWCREST:
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Newcrest is a very family-friendly neighborhood filled with fun for all ages. Families here tend to be a bit more laidback – they are willing to go with the flow and enjoy the messiness that comes with growing up. The Newcrest residents are a supportive bunch of people who enjoy each other’s company and have a healthy balance between careers/school, hobbies, and spending time with family and friends.
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I will also be releasing a Limited Packs Save with version one containing updates to Copperdale and Strangerville coming soon, as well as a No Limits Save down the line.
I hope you all download and enjoy!! Please let me know what you think and if you notice anything that needs updating.
Thanks!
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megalony · 6 months
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She's Not Here
This is a new Evan Buckley imagine which will have a follow up. I had a few different ideas about this theme and suddenly got inspired. I hope you will all like it, let me know what you think.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @gillybear17 @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18
Evan Buckley Masterlist
Summary: While Evan is on a long weekend at work, (Y/n) takes their girls out with their family. Things don't go to plan when something happens to one of their daughters.
Enjoy.
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Evan wasn't looking forward to this weekend.
With Hen off on holiday with her family, two new probie's transferred to a different station house that needed them and the local weather warnings going crazy, Evan was hauled in for the weekend. Once he arrived at work today, he would be staying at the station all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday without coming home and he didn't even know what time he was due to finish on Sunday night.
The whole weekend would be spent living at the station with the team and getting what sleep he could in the bunker room. And only God knew how many callouts Evan was going to see this weekend.
Evan wasn't ready for such a long stretch of shifts without coming home. The longest shift he had done was two full days away from home and a while back he did five days in a row, but he had come home to sleep during the night so he at least saw his family; somewhat.
Evan didn't want the balance to shift the wrong way where he lived at the station and visited his home.
He wanted to stay right where he was, laid in bed with his wife in his arms and his daughters close by in their rooms.
A smile wormed its way onto Evan's face when he felt (Y/n) murmur something softly into his chest. He shuffled closer and buried his lips against the top of her head in her hair. His fingers ran up and down her back like feathers tickling over her skin and he felt the way it made her shiver.
He could feel (Y/n)'s lips pressing into his chest, silently letting him know that she was awake too. His body clock had woken him a little while before his alarm and (Y/n) always woke up whenever she felt Evan awake beside her. She didn't sleep well without him which was another reason Evan wasn't too happy about being away from home for two nights and three days.
He would come home to a sleep-deprived wife.
Her fingertips tickled along his back but it was her lips that caught Evan's attention and livened him up. Wet, hollow kisses pressed up his sternum in a slow trail as she tilted her head back until her chin pressed into his chest and she could shimmy up the bed a little. They usually woke up with (Y/n) halfway down the bed and Evan with his head bashing the headboard. He was over six foot so moving an inch down the bed caused his feet to dangle out the bed, something he hated.
The feel of (Y/n)'s lips pressing to his neck made him take in a deep breath but when she grazed her teeth along his skin, he growled into her hair.
This was a better morning wake up than he had a few days ago. He wondered why he dreamt he had been drowning until he realised he had been laid on his back with (Y/n) sprawled out on his chest, making it hard to breathe.
Evan liked mornings like these the best when they woke up before the alarm went off and had time together. He used to be a morning person before he got married. Having (Y/n) in the bed changed his ideals and made it hard to get up now.
And when there was no kids in the bed with them, mornings like this got even better.
"Do you have to go soon?" (Y/n) muttered the words quietly against his neck, her voice laced with sleep but her actions proved she was wide awake.
"Hm, I've got time."
(Y/n)'s eyes shot open and a gasp tumbled past her lips when the arm around her waist tightened and his palm pressed flat against her lower back so he could flip them over. He rolled her onto her back, muffling her quiet laugh as he moved to kneel between her legs. Evan's hands planted down on the pillow either side of her head, caging her in beneath him like she was his prey and his teeth flashed in a sharp grin that looked animalistic.
She brought her hands up to cup his face, smoothing her thumbs over his cheekbones as he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips.
"This has to go," Evan muttered the words quietly against her lips, drinking in the taste of them until he was positively drunk and (Y/n) was gasping against his mouth. His hands moved down to her sides as his weight shifted to rest on his knees so he could scrunch up the bottom of her shirt that clung to her curves like a second skin that left very little to the imagination.
He didn't have to say anything for (Y/n) to lean up so he could slowly peel it off and her grin made his heart jump.
He threw the small, flimsy material down on the floor and gave the cover a nudge until it fell off his back and crumpled to the bottom of the bed. He was starting to burn up already, they didn't need any extra layers covering them.
While he took a moment to admire the view in front of him, (Y/n) took her chance to scrape her nails agonisingly slow over his skin, starting from his abdomen and she worked her way up until her hands were curved around his neck. Her fingers tickled the small hairs at the back of his neck and she sat up to meet him in the middle, moulding her chest against his before she pulled his lips down to hers.
(Y/n) could feel the fever behind his kiss and the way his fingertips dug bruisingly into her hips when she pushed her chest up against him just to irritate him and goad him further.
When she pulled back, (Y/n) sucked his lower lip between her teeth and gave a small tug until she could feel the growl deep within his chest, rumbling through into her own.
"Baby," Evan's groan was deep and the word was a warning.
He didn't have a lot of time before the alarm was going to go off and he didn't like being teased.
Her fingertips slid away from the back of his neck and trailed their way back down the middle of his chest, covering every square inch that she could. Her plump lips left Evan's and moved towards his razor sharp jaw and when she could feel him starting to quiver beneath her, she started to kiss down his neck.
The moment her teeth grazed against the junction between his neck and shoulder, about to leave a mark, Evan suddenly clenched her wrists in a tight grip and leaned his weight onto her again. He pushed her down on the bed and fell forward until his chest slammed into hers and her hands were pinned down on the mattress. Evan tried to keep some of his weight pushed back on his legs and his elbows so he didn't crush his wife beneath him, but he could still feel every crevace of her moulded up against him.
"Hmm, my turn." There was something demanding and authorative in his voice that was not to be messed with and all (Y/n) could do was turn to jelly beneath his touch.
She barely had chance to gasp before Evan smothered her mouth with his and let his tongue explore past her lips.
Wet, panting kisses were peppered along her neck and down the middle of her throat so every time she gasped or swallowed, Evan could feel each movement. He let go of her hands and moved his fingertips across her sides and down the dips and curves to that special area just above her hips where (Y/n) was ticklish. He loved the way her stomach would pull in and she would jump against his touch when all he had to do was lightly trace the pad of his finger along her skin and it had her gasping and laughing beneath him.
"We won't be needing these any more." He hooked his fingers into the top of her underwear and shuffled back on his knees to remove them when (Y/n) lifted her legs.
(Y/n) grinned up at him as he threw the dark red lace to the floor, adding it to the growing pile of clothes. But she let her eyes fall down to watch him roll his boxers past his knees so he could kick them onto the floor. When they were off, (Y/n) sat up and looped her arms back round his neck, desperate to be as close as possible.
"Do you have to leave us for three whole days, Evan?" She knew exactly what kind of reaction she got from using his name and as expected, something burned deeper and darker in his eyes.
She felt his hand move and his arm wrapped like an iron bar around her back just above her bum so he could reel her in and pull her closer. He held her so close and tight that he lifted her up from her bed and she had to shuffle her weight onto the back of her legs to stay tall against him like this. Her hands dug tightly into his shoulders to steady herself, but a silent gasp left her lips when his other hand dug lovingly into the underside of her thigh.
(Y/n) felt her back hit the headboard and her knees coiled up as Evan shifted forward so he was leaning on her chest and kneeled between her spread legs. He looked- and acted- like he always had always belonged there between her thighs, and he always would.
"It's not by choice, baby, I'd much rather stay right here," His voice was gruff and thick but he barely got the last word out before he crashed his lips against hers in a silent battle. He dug his nails tighter into her thigh and moved her leg to hook it around his hip so he could brace his hand on the wall behind the bed. The last thing he wanted was to put all of his weight onto (Y/n) or give her bruises down her spine from the wooden headboard.
"Your alarm," (Y/n) panted against his lips, barely feeling able to speak from how close Evan's lips were hovering over hers. Swallowing up her words and getting ready to attack her lips again. "If the girls hear it, they'll come in here."
(Y/n) knew three out of their four girls would barge into their bedroom if they heard Evan's alarm go off. Usually they would wait for one of their parents to wake them up, but if they happened to hear the alarm, they would know it was time to get up. And they would bustle their way in without knocking or caring at all.
"We've got ten minutes," He muttered back, dragging her lower lip between his teeth as something darkened in his eyes. "Think you can stay quiet, baby?"
Evan leaned down and buried his face in the crook of (Y/n)'s neck, panting against her skin as he flapped his left hand out to turn off his alarm that was now blaring out. His lips curved into a grin when he felt (Y/n) shudder against him as he parted his lips and sank his teeth down into the soft flesh.
"It's starting." (Y/n) mumbled, carding her fingers through Evan's hair as he paused to try and strain his ears.
Evie was crying. Footsteps were crashing about in the next room; Lois was awake. Two out of four of their girls were awake and if Evie was crying, then Minnie would certainly wake up. And if Lois was getting up, she would undoubtedly go into Ellie's room and wake her up too.
"I'll get the baby," (Y/n) cupped Evan's face in her hands so she could peck his lips again. But she didn't get to move far before Evan nudged her back against the bed an gave her thigh a squeeze.
"No, she's mine until I have to leave," With a lasting kiss to her lips and his teeth nipped at the corner of her mouth, Evan pulled away and clambered off the bed.
Evan wanted to help get the girls up and ready for school. He would eat breakfast with his family, take Lois and Ellie to school and then head to the station and wait for the chaos to ensue and the weekend to drag out into a year.
He snapped his pants back over his hips, stretched his arms above his head and left the room to head over into the nursery.
As expected, the one year old was sat up in her cot, tears traced down her face and her hair a mess of curls sticking up at all angles like she had been electrocuted.
"Hi," A grin curved onto Evan's lips and he flashed his teeth as he stretched his arms out to pick Evie up. "Morning baby girl. Come here, you can get ready with daddy, hm?"
Evan loved the way Evie snuggled into his bare chest and tucked her face into his neck. Her small hand curled up into a fist and settled over Evan's chest as her cries instantly ceased at having some contact. Evan swayed from side to side as he pressed his lips down on her temple, making kissing noises until Evie gurgled and squealed.
She couldn't speak yet, she had only just turned one last month. But she was forever making a round of strange noises, and high-pitch squeals was one of her new favourite things to do.
Evie let out a particularly loud squeal as Evan turned around to look across at the small bed on the other side of the room. He looked down at his youngest with raised brows and made a similar noise of excitement just to see his daughter grin.
He let his eyes drift over to the bed and he bent down beside it, reaching a hand out to card his fingers through Minnie's hair as she started to wake up.
"Mornin' little mouse, you gonna get up with me today?"
Her tired, toothy grin made Evan's heart leap in his chest and he smiled brightly when she sat up and held her arms out expectingly. Her head tilted back and she pursed her lips until Evan gave her a kiss and curled his free arm around her so he had one girl in each arm.
He lifted Minnie up, cuddled her for a few seconds, then gently set her down to her feet and let her hold his hand while he made sure Evie was settled on his hip.
Evan could feel the heartache gnawing away at his chest already. Leaving them this morning was going to be near impossible.
"Evan!"
He looked down and shared a look with Minnie as they wandered out the nursery and looked into the hall. Their eyes landed on (Y/n) and Evan bit his lip at the sight, unable to tear his gaze away. She was stood leaning against their bedroom door, one arm crossed over her chest and one knee bent forward, exposing her thighs to his prying gaze.
It was clear (Y/n) had grabbed the closest piece of clothing she could so she was somewhat decent in front of the girls. She was stood in one of Evan's shirt and it was clear to his perceptive gaze that she wasn't wearing a bra or any underwear. And he grinned triumphantly when he noticed her hair was skewed and stuck up at all angles, giving away their morning activity.
Moving her hand, (Y/n) shook her phone from side to side, silently beckoning Evan over to her so he could see what had her looking rather unimpressed and unsettled.
He walked over until he was stood in front of her and raked his eyes up and down her body a few more times until (Y/n) nudged him and held the phone out. Evan leaned down and narrowed his eyes, bouncing Evie on his hip while Minnie started to tug on his hand and slouch up against his leg.
*Hey, Just giving you and Buck a heads up. Mum and dad are coming into town this weekend and they want to spend time with us and the girls. Sorry in advance. XXX
A groan tumbled past Evan's lips and he tilted his head back as he closed his eyes and tried to take a normal breath.
Great. Their parents were coming into town, unannounced, or at least unannounced to Evan. They never told him when they were coming down in case he made plans or tried not to spend much time with them. He and (Y/n)were civil for the sake of the girls, but needless to say, his parents weren't in the girl's lives very much.
Not like Bobby and Athena. At least they were always there for Evan, their daughter, and all four girls. They made Evan glad every day that they were his in-laws and his kids had one set of decent, reliable and loving grandparents.
"You're going to work- for the whole weekend, I'm gonna be stuck with them, not you." (Y/n) bit her lip to hide her smile when Evan looked down at her with those puppy dog eyes.
She wanted to be annoyed with him. She wanted to be angry that he had wormed his way out of this without even having to try. He was working days and nights this weekend, he wasn't coming home until Sunday night so he would likely have one night with his parents before they left. (Y/n) could only presume they were down for the weekend, their trips didn't usually last very long.
(Y/n) and Maddie were going to be the ones entertaining Margaret and Phillip all weekend and being around them while Evan got out of it because of his job.
"I… I'll talk to Bobby, see if I can come back any earlier on Sunday. Baby I am sorry."
Bobby was understanding. He knew Evan's relationship with his parents was very strained and he knew (Y/n) didn't have the best relationship with them either. He might be obliged to let Evan come home Sunday afternoon, he was pulling a lot of overtime this weekend alone because they were short staffed.
(Y/n) folded her arms back over her chest but nodded all the same. She knew it wasn't Evan's fault and they couldn't do very much about it now.
"Morning dad."
Evan's eyes widened and he looked over his shoulder when Lois ran up from behind him and smacked her hand down on his bum before running past him. Her laughter could be heard down the hall as she bolted to the stairs and zoomed down so Evan couldn't get her back.
"Oi!"
"Morning daddy," He tilted his head down towards Ellie when she scurried up next to Minnie and wrapped around his leg. She looked up at him with those big doe eyes that all the girls inherited from (Y/n). Just one look from any of Evan's girls would turn his knees to jelly and make him cave in to just about anything.
"Hi baby. Your gran and grandad are coming down to see you this weekend." He couldn't get his hand free from Minnie's viper grip so Evan settled on leaning over to kiss Ellie's forehead.
"Nanny Nash?" Minnie asked with a wide grin that started to fade when Evan grimaced and shook his head.
Athena was the favourite. She was the grandparent all the girls clung to and wanted to look after them. Whenever Evan's parents came to town, his girls were never enthusiastic or best pleased, and he understood completely. He would choose Bobby and Athena over his own parents every time.
"Oh, grumpy gran?" Ellie murmured quietly with a deflated spirit even as her dad rolled his eyes and her mum laughed.
Evan dreaded to think what was going to happen while he worked away this weekend. What chaos was he going to come home to?
***
"Can we go in the book store?" Lois tilted her head to the right and leaned her cheek on (Y/n)'s arm, staying as close to her mum's side as she could manage.
"Sure, we can go on the way back."
(Y/n) glanced her eyes around their little group and when she looked to the left, she found Maddie smiling tiredly at her.
The weekend seemed to be dragging by as slow as they had ever known it, the minutes dragged into hours and the hours never seemed to pass into days. All day yesterday, Maddie and her parents had spent the day at (Y/n)'s home with the girls. Playing games, catching up and having takeaway for tea. The day had lasted longer than any of them expected.
Since it was Sunday and Maddie and (Y/n) both agreed they didn't want to be shut in the house, they came out. They had left Phillip to his own devices and he said he would probably pop by the station to see Evan and Chimney. While Margaret went with all the girls to the shopping centre for the morning.
It wasn't as bad as (Y/n) expected, Margaret was trying her best to get on with the girls and show an interest in them and that was all she was asking for.
It would have been nice if Athena wasn't working this weekend. She could of joined them and made it a bit more bearable, but (Y/n) had Maddie. The two had the same kind of bond that Maddie had with Evan, for all intents and purposes they were sisters and they stuck together when her parents were around.
"Do you like reading books too?" Margaret looked down at Ellie. The six year old was walking between her and (Y/n), keeping hold of the pram so she didn't get lost in the crowds.
Margaret had offered to hold her hand but Ellie politely declined. She would rather cling to the pram or walk slightly ahead of the group since she was the fast walker out of them all.
"I like when daddy reads to me, he does the funny voices." Ellie pushed her glasses further up her nose and leaned to look up at her mum when (Y/n) slowed down.
Reaching into the bag hanging beneath the pram, (Y/n) found a pre-mixed bottle and gave it a shake before she leaned forwards. She rested her arms on the pram handle and kept walking at a slow pace while she rolled up the blanket covering Evie. She set the bottle on top of the blanket so she didn't have to hold it to feed Evie.
It was an easy trick (Y/n) had learnt early on with the girls that saved a lot of time and effort. Evie was one, she was able enough to sit and take her bottle with it angled down to her and she was starting to hold it herself now too.
"I can feed her if you like."
"No, she's fine." (Y/n) hummed quietly, smiling down at her little girl before she looked around.
It was calming to have Maddie and Margaret with her, it meant (Y/n) didn't have to keep worrying and keeping hold of the girls and make sure they all weren't wandering off or hanging behind. Ellie was on her right near Margaret, Lois was on her left with Maddie on her other side and Minnie was holding Maddie's hand.
(Y/n) would have been a little more relaxed if they had the other pram with them that held both Evie and Minnie. She knew Minnie got tired easily and liked to be carried, the other pram was easier so she didn't grow tired or wander off or walk slow. But they couldn't fit it in the car with them today.
"Shall we go in here?" Maddie pointed to the clothes shop on her left and when they all nodded, the group steered through the crowd and into the store.
The shopping centre wasn't as busy today with it being a Sunday and it was good not to be caught in a crowd or around people pushing and shoving to get past. But this shop in particular looked to be lively and bustling with people hovering around and trying on different items.
Turning to her left, Lois tugged on Maddie's sleeve and leaned closer to her aunt before she pointed towards the escalator.
"Can we look at the Disney stuff?"
It was no secret that Lois and Maddie had a connection. She was the eldest of all Evan's daughters. Maddie had brought Evan up and she had been so thrilled when he had his first child. She was always round to take Lois out and spend some one to one time with her. Then as the other girls were born, she took them all out.
But Maddie and Lois usually ended up picking matching clothes from the stores, like the Disney shirts they always chose in the adult and children's section. Or the matching family pyjamas they came home with last time they went out.
"Of couse, we need some new tops, don't we?" Maddie grinned down at her and moved so Minnie could stand next to (Y/n) while she and Lois made a beeline for the escalator.
"What do you want to look at, baby?" (Y/n) darted her eyes between Ellie and Minnie. She knew Minnie didn't really care, she was just happy to be scouting round looking at all the pretty things whereas Ellie and Lois had preferences.
"Blankets?" Ellie whispered before she took the lead towards the right side of the shop on the ground floor.
They had homeware at the back of the store and Ellie loved collecting new fluffy blankets and pillows to snuggle into. She had more pillows on her bed to the point she could barely fit in her bed anymore.
"Come on- Minnie no this way,"
(Y/n)'s eyes switched between Ellie who was already disappearing out of sight, and Minnie who was aiming for the escalator. She wanted to follow Maddie and Lois. She had a nose for all the Disney items and Minnie Mouse was her favourite, obviously.
"I'll get her, we can find her something upstairs to match those little ears." With a hand on (Y/n)'s shoulder, Margaret smiled at her before she aimed after the three year old.
Since Evan found a pair of Minnie Mouse ears and a bright red bow sewn onto a headband, Minnie had scarcely taken them off. She wore them almost every day. She was so used to Evan calling her his 'little mouse' that if he said her name, she now thought she was in trouble. Evan barely called the girls by their names anymore, they each had their own petname with him and they all loved it.
Leaning forward, (Y/n) took the half-finished bottle from Evie and placed it back in the bag hanging beneath the pram. She was asleep.
For the past few weeks, whenever Evan did a night shift and came home, he and Evie would have a power nap after dinner. And Minnie usually fell asleep with them too.
After wandering around for a few minutes, Ellie found a dark grey teddy fleece blanket that felt like a cloud. She held it up towards (Y/n) and grinned. "Can we get this one?" She looped it around her shoulders as soon as (Y/n) nodded and wore it like a cape.
(Y/n) knew what would happen with that blanket. Ellie wouldn't let any of her sisters use it. She had a thing about blankets or pillows being washed, the fluffy ones always felt crimped and deflated after being washed. So Ellie would keep the blanket out of reach of others so it wouldn't have to be put in the washer.
"Let's go see what's upstairs."
Ellie led the way towards the back of the store and pushed the button for the lift, standing dutifully beside the pram while they waited.
"When's daddy coming home?"
"I'm not sure, sometime tonight I think, baby. He might be home for tea." She hadn't heard from Evan since last night when he rang to talk to the girls before they went to bed. (Y/n) knew her husband and dad had been busy this weekend and she knew Evan would be in need of some sleep when he finally came home. She didn't want to message him and bother him when he was busy, it would be better to just wait and be surprised when he finally came home.
When the lift opened, (Y/n) followed Ellie and let her lead the way between clothes racks and shelves stocked with various jumpers and shirts and bottoms. They passed the boys section and moved towards the other side where there was a large corner dedicated to Disney items.
They found Maddie and Lois easily. The two were stood with a few clothes draped over Maddie's arm and Lois's pigtails shook from side to side when she tilted her head left to right.
"What have you girls found?" (Y/n) folded her arms over the pram handle and leaned forward, clicking her spine into place. She smiled softly at them as Lois held out the shirt that she found which Maddie had got the matching adult one to. It was a pale grey short-sleeved shirt with the Disney castle painted on the front in baby blue and had Tinkerbell in the top left corner.
"We found you one too." Lois held a matching shirt out towards Ellie who brightened up and gingerly took the top.
She moved to stand closer to Maddie and looked along the rack with Lois to see what other designs they had. While (Y/n) looked around for her mother in law.
"Where's Minnie?"
Margaret was slowly approaching their group, her handbag slung down on her elbow instead of her shoulder. She had a tired smile on her face and a onesie in her hand that (Y/n) could only presume was meant for Evie. But she didn't have Minnie clinging to her arm or pulling her in the other direction or showing her around.
"She's- oh, she's wandered again." Looking to her right, Margaret's tired smile softened somewhat and she turned to backtrack the way she had just come from. She hadn't been holding Minnie's hand because the toddler was always pulling this way and that. It was easier to follow Minnie around or let her trail behind her than keep hold of her hand all the time.
"She was with mum a moment ago." Maddie smiled and did a quick scan of their surroundings. "I'm sure she's found something she wants."
There weren't many people up on this floor, the shop had been much busier downstairs in the adult section which was good for the girls. They could roam around up here without getting in the way or bumping into people.
(Y/n) nodded, but she could feel her smile fading when she watched Margaret walk back over to them, empty-handed and without a smile.
"She… she was just here."
A shudder tore through (Y/n)'s blood and she locked eyes with Maddie who started to bite down on her lip, all traces of a smile gone from her face. Minnie wasn't the kind of child to wander far. She was a nervous child by nature, she didn't like being far from her family, but she was likely to talk to strangers. The first time she went to the station to meet Evan's team, she talked to anyone and everyone and followed them around.
If people were friendly with her, she assumed they were nice and safe to be around.
Without saying anything, (Y/n) reached out and deadlocked her hand around Ellie's nimble fingers. She tugged the six year old into her side when she noticed Maddie take Lois's hand out of instinct and fright. She left the pram next to her sister in law and strode off, Ellie rushing at her side.
"Minnie? Minnie, baby come here."
"Minnie… Minnie?" Ellie raised her voice and sniffed, pushing her glasses further up her nose as she leaned to look for her sister. But she felt her mum pull her back to her side. She wasn't having any of the girls stray further than arms-length away from her until Minnie was back at her side.
They scoured around the shop, looking behind racks, peering through clothes on hangers to see if Minnie was weaving through the garments or trying to play hide and seek. But she never liked that game. She feared no one would find her if she found a good hiding spot.
They circled around the teddies, looked through the empty fitting room and looped past the escalator and back towards Maddie.
Maddie was stood with her arm around Lois and the pushchair in front of her, near the escalator. She had a store worker in front of her. This didn't look good.
"-She's three and she's wandered off."
"I can't find her up here, I'm checking downstairs." (Y/n) didn't believe for a second that Minnie would go down that escalator on her own, nor would she get into a lift without one of her sisters or her mum or auntie with her. But she wasn't up here, and (Y/n) couldn't do constant circles up here, praying her daughter would pop out of thin air.
She clenched Ellie's hand tighter and grabbed the pram with her other hand, steering towards the lift while Maddie and Lois went down the escalator together.
"Minnie?"
(Y/n) could feel tears burning in her eyes when she watched Maddie and Lois burn through the crowds and scatter around the shop. She watched Margaret go towards the entrance of the shop and grab the security guard and that only escalated (Y/n)'s panic.
Minnie wouldn't leave without them. She wouldn't walk out of here alone, but (Y/n) didn't know if her toddler would leave with anyone else. She wouldn't just leave them willingly, would she?
"Mum?" Fright flooded through Ellie's voice and she leaned her head on (Y/n)'s arm and stared up at her.
When (Y/n) noticed the tears falling behind Ellie's glasses, she gulped harshly and pulled on her hand. "Do not let go of me." She instructed before they set off into a sprint, looking anywhere and everywhere they could.
Ellie grabbed the pram with her free hand to steady herself as she stumbled beside her mum, trying to look for her little sister. Tears blurred her eyes and she sniffed. None of her sisters had ever gone missing before. They had never wandered or come close to being lost, ever.
By the time they looped back to the entrance after two rounds of scouting round the ground floor, (Y/n) could barely breathe.
They checked all the racks, all the shelves and units Minnie could hide in or behind. They stopped people to ask if they had seen a toddler matching Minnie's description, but no one had seen her. Some women trailed behind (Y/n), calling out Minnie's name and trying to help locate her, but it was becoming apparent that Minnie was no longer in this store.
The checkouts had ceased operation, all staff encouraging people to stop and group together in the middle of the store so Minnie couldn't hide behind people if she was still here. Workers scattered through the shop to look for her and security weren't letting people in or out of the shop without being talked to and checked first.
"She isn't here." Shallow, rumbling breaths passed through (Y/n)'s lips and she let a few tears trace down her face.
Evie was stirring in the pram from all the rushing about and the sudden commotion. Ellie was now whimpering into (Y/n)'s arm. Lois was crying and clutching Maddie like she thought she was going to become lost too. Maddie was fighting off tears of panic and Margaret was shaking, unable to talk at all.
"Come and stand out here, away from the commotion. My colleagues aren't allowing anyone in or out, if she's still in there they will find her soon." The security guard moved his hand to Maddie's shoulder and kindly motioned for them to follow him. They couldn't stand in the doorway and talk when panic was growing inside the shop and the bustle was getting louder.
(Y/n) could feel her stomach churning and she knew in a few minutes, if her daughter wasn't back in her arms, she was going to be sick.
Her legs turned to jelly as she shuffled away from the shop and out into the centre of the mall. Her eyes scanned around rapidly but she couldn't keep in focus. All she wanted was to look for her daughter. She just wanted to see Minnie wearing her headband, bounding her way, crying out for her or laughing.
(Y/n) couldn't make sense of the people passing by. Anyone with a pushchair, she tried to move closer to and check to make sure they hadn't strapped her daughter in them. She watched women walk past, holding tighter to their child's hands as if they could sense the looming panic.
"She's not here." It was the only thing that (Y/n) could process.
Her daughter wasn't here. She wasn't in the shop. She wasn't anywhere in their sights. She had disappeared and no one had noticed. No one had stopped her or anyone around her. They let her walk right past them. Where had she gone?
"Can you show me a recent picture and describe what she was wearing? We'll get an announcement out and put security on every exit, just to be safe."
"Um…" A look passed between (Y/n) and Maddie before Maddie got out her phone and scrolled through for a picture of Minnie. She had thousands of pictures of her nieces, it wouldn't be hard to find a recent one. "S-she's wearing a purple dress, with white flowers, and white tights. Red shoes,"
"Her headband," Lois looked from her aunt to her mum. They would spot Minnie from a mile away with her headband.
"Yes! It's a Minnie Mouse headband, big black ears and a pink bow in the centre, s-she wouldn't take that off."
"Does she have any nicknames she might respond to?"
"Um… her dad calls her little mouse…" (Y/n) couldn't think of any other nicknames they used for her. Evan had so many petnames for the girls, but that was the only one he seemed to use for Minnie, and (Y/n) either called her by her name or baby. She didn't use many other terms that Minnie would respond to.
"Shop's clear."
Those two words crackled through the security guard's radio pinned to his shoulder and it made (Y/n)'s blood go cold. She barely heard Margaret whimper that she was going to look round for her. She couldn't feel Ellie sobbing into her arm or Maddie gripping her elbow tightly.
All (Y/n) could feel was the way her ribs were aching with each breath she took like they had splintered and were puncturing into her lungs. Each thud of her heartbeat had her chest aching and make her skin prickle with heat and droplets of cold sweat. She could feel her head pounding and pulsing, her knees going weak and her throat closing up as her stomach did summersaults.
She wasn't in the store. She had gotten out into the shopping centre. She could be out of the centre already. She could be in somebody's car, walking down the street, getting into a taxi or on the bus. Minnie could be on her way out of their lives by now.
No one was helping fast enough.
"I'm calling 911, I'll get Josh on the line and get him to set up contact with Athena."
Maddie squeezed (Y/n)'s shoulder and took a few steps away towards the seating area in front of them. She sat Lois down beside her and curved her arm around her eldest niece, tucking her under her arm like a bird offering her protection beneath her wing. Even as she got her phone from her bag, Maddie could feel her sister in law staring at her. Checking Lois wasn't about to disappear too.
Clenching Ellie's hand tightly in hers, (Y/n) went numb as she walked over to Maddie. An air of calmness surrounded her as if she had left her body behind. She sat Ellie down next to Lois and moved the pram behind them before she turned and took a few steps away.
When the security guard reached out for her, she shook her head and pulled away. She didn't want touch or help or comfort. She wanted her daughter back in her arms.
She didn't feel or see herself moving until her phone was in her hand and the dialling tone was suddenly ringing in her ear.
Her body cringed and pulled inwards when a tanoid announcement roared through the air like shockwaves rippling through the sky. Minnie's description. Her age, her height, her clothes and hair and headband, all circulating through the speakers. Asking anyone to find her, approach her and take her to the nearest security or safety point.
"Hello?"
Bobby. She had called her dad. Of course she had. She didn't know whether Evan was out on a call or getting a shower or busy doing inventory. He might not have his phone to hand whereas her dad was more likely to answer.
"Dad, is Evan with you?" Her voice came out so quiet and meek that (Y/n) barely recognised it as her own. She could hear the wobble in her words and the way her voice cracked like it was glass heating up and fracturing into pieces.
"Yeah, we're just about to sit down for dinner. Why, what's wrong?"
"Oh God…"
She couldn't say it. She couldn't say what was wrong or what was running through her head. All she could do was lean forwards like she was going to be sick with one arm around her stomach and the other clenching her phone tight.
Tears streamed down her face, her vision blurred and her throat felt like it was swelling up as she gasped and wheezed down the line.
"(Y/n)… (Y/n) honey, calm down." His words did nothing to alleviate the panic in (Y/n)'s heart and she couldn't stop crying now she had started. "Buck, we've got a situation."
"Baby, it's me. What's going on?"
"Minnie's gone."
"What?"
What the Hell did that mean? Where had she gone? What were they doing- where were they? How had she gone, was she hurt, run off, taken, fallen down somewhere, stuck in a taxi or on the bus or somewhere away from them? What did that mean?
(Y/n) rattled her hand through her hair but she had to wind her arm back around her stomach again. The pressure felt good, it felt calming and grounding to have that touch and try to prevent herself from being sick.
"We- we're all in the shopping centre… she went with your mum and Maddie but she's disappeared. Evan we can't find her anywhere, security haven't seen her… M-Maddie's calling the police… I d- I don't know what to do."
She pulled the phone away from her ear so she could wipe her sleeve beneath her eyes and nose. She was suddenly glad that her back was turned to the girls, she didn't like them seeing her cry.
"Fuck! Oh shit… look, I'm gonna come down there now, okay? I- I'll get down to you, if you find her before I get there call me. You hear anything you call me. Try not to panic, sweetheart, she- she might have wandered off after someone, look what she was like at the Christmas party."
Evan felt like the world was crashing down around him.
His little girl wouldn't just wander off without anyone. She didn't follow after people or run away or stray far from whoever she was out with. And she was only three, she wouldn't do this on purpose to cause a scene or create panic or because she thought this was a funny game to play.
His free hand slammed down on the table so hard and fast everyone froze. Hen stopped serving up lunch, people began to put down their plates as slowly as they could manage, and all eyes landed on Evan.
He turned to look over at Bobby, and realising that he still had Bobby's phone, he handed it over with (Y/n) still on the line. "Call Athena."
His voice turned raspy and his blue eyes darkened as tears pooled on his lashes and his face began to turn a very worrying shade of red. He pushed his chair back and scrambled to turn around, even as Eddie reached out to stop him and Bobby rushed from the table. His daughter was crying on the phone and Evan was trying to leave. No one was telling him what was happening.
"Buck!"
He shrugged off Eddie's touch and bolted from the table, checking his pockets for his phone and his wallet. He needed to find his keys from his locker and leave. He had to get down there and get in that shopping centre. Evan needed to scout round every inch of that building. Every corner, every crevace, every hidden crook and cranny, he needed to look round them all.
He needed to watch and search every person who tried to leave and every car needed to be stopped and checked.
"Buck what's going on?"
"One of my daughters is missing."
409 notes · View notes
munsonluhvr · 7 months
Text
SWEETHEART SOIRÉE (DAY #2: LOVE LETTERS EVENT)
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content: Eddie Munson x virgin!innocent!reader explicit, 18+ content! Your parents are strict, not willing to let you go out and participate in the shenanigans that happen on Valentine's Day; Eddie helps you sneak out so you can go out with him. word count - 4.1k
notes: this was so extremely fun to write. I got so engrossed in writing this that by the end I felt like I just snuck out to spend a night with Eddie #Iwish.
love letter event masterlist
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The loud hum of conversation in Hawkins High cafeteria numbs your ears, the sound becoming unbearable. It’s Valentine’s day and all-around you people make plans for later tonight. Even at the table you sit at, your friends bounce back and forth to each other, making plans of their own. 
“I’m sorry your parents won’t let you out,” your friend Nancy Wheeler says to you with a frown. “Parents can be such a bummer.” 
You offer a smile, trying to play nonchalant. There’s nothing more pathetic then showcasing how truly bummed you are. Your parents are conservative, expecting you to behave like a lady all day, every day. Valentine’s day was a holiday your parents deemed too risky, the love circulating in the air making the perfect disease for you to catch and act promiscuous. They expected you home after school, in your room for the rest of the evening. For any of the previous years that would have been fine, you had never had a ‘valentine,’ but this year was different – Eddie Munson had made it clear he was your Valentine. However, he wasn’t aware of the lockdown your parents will have on you later in the evening. 
You and Eddie have been dating for only a few months, still in the early stages of being in a relationship. You were crazy about each other, spending any free time you had with each other. Normally he’d be sitting with you during lunch, or you with him and his Hellfire friends, but you glanced back at his normal table, his chair at the end of the table left empty.
Just then, a hand clasps around the back your back, leaning you back. Your skin sparks under the touch, your eyes flickering to see Eddie’s eyes gazing at you. Your stomach twists, your body becoming a puddle under his gaze. Eddie leans over, placing a kiss on your mouth. “Happy Valentine’s Day, love.” Eddie says, disconnecting his mouth from yours. He crouches down next to your chair, holding onto the back of it for balance. You’re still reeling from his kiss, the form of affection never growing old; every time it gives you butterflies, your skin igniting with goosebumps. “I wanted to ask what you wanted to do tonight?” 
“She can’t go out. Her parents have her on lockdown.” Nancy tosses at Eddie, noticing your loss of words. Eddie frowns glancing from you to Nancy and then back to you. “Is that true?” 
You nod, glancing at your hands that rest on your lap. “My parents think Valentine’s is a promiscuous holiday, that I’ll get pregnant or something if I go out.” 
Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “Parents,” Eddie says. “Such assholes for no reason. That’s all right, don’t worry about it. Maybe we could do something next weekend then?”
You nod. “Definitely.”
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Depressed is not a strong enough word to describe how you feel, sitting in your room on the evening of Valentine’s Day, all alone. Throughout the rest of the day at school, you were surrounded by the constant sounds of people making plans with their friends or significant others. You had heard about a couple of parties at various people’s houses, though you let it pass through your mind, knowing there was no possible chance you would be able to go. 
You’re bent over your desk, scribbling notes for your upcoming biology test. You sigh, the feeling of disappointment riddling your body. Though you’ve accepted your parents stance on going out on Valentine’s, still, your mind circulates around what everyone else is doing as you’re locked in your bedroom. 
Your door opens, your mother leaning into your room. “What are you doing?” she asks, her eyes landing on you at your desk. “Homework, I’m not allowed to do much else.” You reply with a huff. You glance at your mother who’s in her pajamas, a robe cloaking her body. She shakes her head, crossing her arms across her chest. “You’ll thank us later when you’re in college and not held back by a child.” 
You shake your head, turning back to your homework that is laid out in front of you. Your mother is impossible. You ignore her while she stands in your bedroom doorway, her eyes sweeping across your room. “Your father and I are going to bed, don’t even think about sneaking out.” She says, placing her hand on the doorknob. She begins to back into the hallway that leads to your room but leans back in before the door completely closes. “And pick up your clothes, this isn’t a pig pen.” Your bedroom door snaps shut. 
You roll your eyes, resting your elbow on the desktop, your hand cradling your head. You shrug the exchange off, not letting your mother’s attitude ruin your night further. You consume yourself with schoolwork until you hear a light knock on your bedroom, jolting you out of your mind. You turn in your chair, squinting to see what made the noise outside. Though it’s pitch dark outside, the sun setting hours ago, you see a figure outside your window. 
You get up from your spot, and as you get closer you notice that it’s only Eddie. Lifting from the bottom of the window, you push your window up, allowing the cold February air flow into your room. “Eddie? What are you doing?” 
Eddie sits atop your roof, holding onto the windowsill to maintain his balance on the roofs sloped structure. His cheeks are flushed pink, the cold numbing his body. “I’m sneaking you out, I was about to knock but your mom rolled into your room, so I waited until she left. You deserve to go out, you always go from school to home to back to school.” 
You lean outside, the smell of fresh air filling your nose, softening your tone to a light whisper in case either of your parents were near. “And you know what she told me when she came in? To not even think about sneaking out.” 
Eddie snorts. “They won’t even know that you went out, I’ll have you back in a little while. Come on, it’ll be fun.” 
Your eyes shift, the fear of your parents opening your door to check if you’re still in there scares you beyond belief. Your parents instilled their beliefs into you without your consent, ensuring that you were the perfect child. You never allowed yourself to cut loose, trying to meet their standards. You debated whether you believed life would allow you to have a little fun with no consequences. “I don’t know, Eddie… my parents really don’t want me going out tonight.” 
Eddie coos, leaning forward to let his fingers brush your cheek. His digits are cold, displaying he’d been outside for a little too long. “You’re such good girl, such a rule follower. Sometimes I feel like I’m corrupting you and feel guilty.” 
You frown. “Don’t feel guilty, I just don’t want to deal with my parents grounding me for months and never letting me see you again.” 
Eddie smiles, his fingers moving away from your cheek and down to your own fingers. His fingertips graze across your knuckles, his fingers beginning to lace into yours. “Trust me, I’ll have you back in just a little bit.” 
You look back into your room, glancing at the door. Your heart beats, nervousness stuck in your throat. You debate, the pros and cons laying themselves out in your mind. You bite your lip, glancing back at Eddie. Since you and Eddie started dating, your dates were limited to directly after school while your parents were still at work or at school sporting events when your parents would allow you to spend time at. Once or twice, you had managed to sneak to Eddie’s house but only for a short while. 
Before you give it too much thought, talking yourself out of it, you fold yourself small enough to crouch through the window. Eddie cheers quietly, his hands pumping in the air, while he wraps an arm around your waist. Together, you and Eddie guide yourself off the roof, and you thank the universe for making your house a short, squatty two-story home. Once you get to the lowest part of the roof, Eddie maneuvers himself down, holding his arms out for you to hold onto while you hop down to the frost covered ground. As you jog from your backyard to the street where Eddie’s large van in parked you say a short prayer, though unlike your parents you don’t have strong feelings for ‘higher power,’ you ask whoever is up there to allow you just one night of fun. 
Eddie’s hand grasps yours, pulling you with excitement. In your slipper covered feet, you make it to Eddie’s van in a short minute. Instantly, Eddie turns the van on, the warm air blowing into the body of the car to warm your chilled body. You cover your mouth, a squeal escaping. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m doing this!” 
Eddie chuckles. “Welcome to the dark side.” 
You smile, fastening your seatbelt. And off you and Eddie go. 
It’s only around 11 o’clock, car headlights flashing past as you and Eddie coast down the Hawkins streets.  As you blow by downtown Hawkins, groups of girls in dresses, flower bouquets in their hands, their boyfriends trailing behind them; you catch a glimpse of what life is like outside of your home and away from your parents. Storefronts and restaurants have pink, paper cutouts of hearts and cupids, the town square demonstrating an appreciation for love day. 
“Where are we going?” you say, glancing at Eddie. 
“The pond by my house; there’s something I want to show you.” Eddie says, glancing back at you. Eddie’s house is on the other side of Hawkins, and you don’t venture their often; your parents claiming it’s ‘the wrong side of the tracks.’ When you went to Eddie’s house, it was only the first and second time you had really been to that side of Hawkins. You live a very sheltered life. 
Eddie turns right onto a dirt path, his headlights lighting up the dark park that surrounds the car. Bare trees, stick branches sticking out in all directions, crowd around in patches, almost blocking the path in which the car drives on. “You aren’t going to kill me are you?” You ask, the dark park giving eerie feelings. 
Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “Now why would I do something like that?” 
You shrug, smiling at the sound of his laugh. Eddie pulls into an unmarked parking spot, the car pointed in the direction of a half-frozen pond. It’s a fairly small pond and you frown at the sight; what did Eddie want to show you here?
Eddie shrugs his jacket off, placing the article of clothing around your shoulders. “What are you doing?” you ask, beginning to slip his jean jacket on. Eddie opens the driver’s side door, letting the cold air rush in. “I told you there’s something I want to show you.” 
“But it’s dark out.” You say with a frown. “What if there are, like, moose out there?”
Eddie frowns, another laugh escaping his lips. “This is Indiana, y/n, I don’t think we have moose here. I’ll keep you safe, come on.” You sigh, opening your door and hoping out of Eddie’s vehicle. 
You follow Eddie, reaching for his hand. You hate the dark, especially in an ambiguous park you’ve never been to before. Eddie follows a path that walks around the length of the small pond, your body staying close to his. After a short walk, Eddie places you in front of him, his hands on your shoulder. He leans close, pointing towards the edge of the pond. “Look,” Eddie says, his cologne radiating off of him. You squint, looking in the direction Eddie points in. When you see what he’s pointing at, you gasp softly. 
At the edge of the pond, almost hidden by the cattails, is a pair of swans, their pure white bodies reflecting the moonlight off them; they almost glow. Their bodies stick out against the dark water, the outlines of the revealed by the bright moonlight. They stay close to each other in the low temperatures, just as you and Eddie stand on the path, their long, thin necks bent around each other. The two swans nuzzle into each other, their black beaks lovingly pecking at each other. 
“I-I’ve never seen swans before,” you say, stepping closer to the edge of the pond to look. Suddenly, you’re no longer afraid of the dark, willing to stand in the dark of the night for hours just to watch the swans love each other.  
“This is where I come to do, uh, business and I noticed them last time I was here. They’re new, they weren’t here before.” Eddie says, watching you become entranced by the large birds. You can’t help but roll your eyes at Eddie mentioning his drug dealing business, but you feel special that Eddie thought to bring you here to see them. 
The pair of swans begin to drift away from the edge, one trailing behind the other, as they glide across the pond. You watch with curiosity, watching as the birds pause directly in front of you and Eddie in the middle of the pond. The front swan turns, angling itself towards the swan that was trailing behind. They stretch their necks, bending until their small heads are pressed against each other, their chests touching, making the outline of a heart with their bodies. “Eddie, look,” you say, your breath getting caught in your throat. 
Eddie pulls your back against his chest, his arm securing itself around your upper body. He leans into you, placing a kiss on your cheek. “Come on,” Eddie whispers, placing a second kiss on the edge of your jaw, a third under your ear on your neck. Eddie gently pulls you in the direction of the car, your eyes trained on the birds. As Eddie tugs your away, you watch as the two birds break apart, the heart broken, and they continue to the other side of the pond, one swan in front of the other. It was almost as if the swans did the display just for you and Eddie. 
Back at the car, Eddie opens the two back doors of the van, gesturing for you to get inside. You frown as you climb in, seating yourself in the bare backseat of Eddie’s car. You shrug Eddie’s jacket off, the warm heat still filling the car. As Eddie follows you into the backseat, he closes the van doors behind him. As he turns to you, Eddie crosses his arms across his body, lifting his Hellfire t-shirt up and off his torso. “Eddie, what are you doing? You’re going to catch a cold-“ you say, as Eddie maneuvers his body to hover over where you sit. Eddie pushes your upper body down with one hand, his other hand parting your legs. All at once you knew where this was going. 
You settle against the car floor, your mouth attaching to Eddie’s, your lips moving in harmony with each other. Your cold hands find their way to Eddie’s chest, your fingertips leaving cool trails across his warm skin. While Eddie presses his lips into yours, he uses his free hand to push your pajama pants down, revealing your naked bottom half underneath. Eddie groans against your mouth, feeling your bare cunt brush across his fingertips. 
You gasp, your mouth parting from Eddie’s. You had never been touched in that part of your body, except for your own hands and fingers, and the feeling was so much better then you could have imagined. Your hand fumbles at Eddie’s waist, attempting to unbuckle his belt. After an unsuccessful attempt, Eddie helps, his lips nipping at yours during the processes. Finally, his belt comes free, Eddie working quickly to unzip his jeans and shrug them off. At the same time, you lift your shirt up and off your body, the cold air that seeps into the car attacking your bare breasts. When Eddie looks back up at you after pulling his pants and boxers off, his eyes go wide like saucers looking at your bare chest. This was the first time Eddie has ever seen you naked, few opportunities throughout the few months you and Eddie have been dating allowed for such an activity. 
With eagerness, Eddie places himself over you, your bare hips meeting his. “Do you want to do this?” Eddie asks, his fingers brushing across your cheek bone. “We don’t have to.” 
You nod, cupping the side of his face with your hand. “I want to. It’s just my, uh, first time is all.” 
Eddie nods, his brows knitting together. “Just tell me if you want to stop; you promise you’ll say if you want to stop?” 
You nod, spreading your legs so Eddie can settle himself between you. “Will you walk me through it?” Eddie nods, his tender touches ensuring he’ll protect you the entire time. 
“Are you ready? I’ll push myself in now; it might sting a little bit, but I’ll go slow.” Eddie holds himself in his hand, leaning on his arm. Eddie is surpised to find that your body is already slick with arousal for him, the discovery turning him on beyond belief. 
You lean your head back against the floor, your eyes watching Eddie’s movement. “I’m ready.” You inhale, exhale, and Eddie pushes himself into you with ease. You gasp, your body working to adjust to Eddie’s large size. Your eyes flutter shut, the pleasurable pain coursing through you. “Are you all right?” Eddie asks, his hand cradling your head against his arm that he props himself up on. 
“You can move, I’m okay.” You say, your arms wrapping around his body. Eddie leans over you, placing a kiss on your jaw again. “You’re so beautiful, I feel like I don’t tell you often enough.” Eddie says, his eyes grazing across your face. 
You laugh. “You tell me every day.” 
Eddie shakes his head, his fingertips brushing across the outline of your lips. “That’s not often enough.” You blush, your mind blank. Eddie refocuses, rocking his hips against yours. Underneath him you groan, the pain starting to turn into pleasure. You wrap your legs around Eddie’s waist, feeling a need to be as close as possible to him. Though the car is cold, you and Eddie’s bodies become slick with a light layer of sweat, your core burning at the bottom of your stomach. 
Eddie buries his face into the crook of your neck, mumbling mindlessly as he becomes lost in the intertwining of your bodies. “You feel so good,” Eddie says clearly, his warm breath fanning against your skin. You whine, the feeling of Eddie rocking against you building pressure in your lower half. You aren’t coherent enough to form words, everything coming out in a mumble, as you begin to unravel under Eddie, your mind and body in a complete trance from Eddie’s touch. 
Eddie ducks his head away from your neck, leaving a few kisses in his wake as he trails down to your breasts. Swiftly, he cups one of your breasts into his large, rough hand, placing his mouth around your nipple. Your back arches in response, your hand leaving his back to entangle itself into his hair. You mewl, words beginning to form on your tongue. 
“Oh, Eddie.” You whisper, your fingers closing with locks of his hair in your hand. Unlatching his mouth from your nipple, Eddie trails kisses back up your chest, up the front of your throat. You lean your head back, silently asking Eddie to not stop. 
Every touch Eddie lays on your skin brings you further to the edge, his strokes slowing down and speeding up in the perfect rhythm. You don’t care if your parents know you’ve snuck out of the house, you don’t care if Hawkins police is cruising around  the streets looking for you, you know you’ve met heaven where you lay underneath Eddie, your legs parted just for him. 
The muscles of your cunt clench around Eddie, the pressure bringing Eddie closer with each stroke. Eddie buries his head in your neck again, your fingers still intertwined in his hair. You whine underneath him, mumbling mindlessly, turning Eddie on further and further. Eddie’s head fills with dirty ideas, with ways he wants to fold you, different places he wants to fuck you, but he knows there will be plenty of times in the future to explore his thoughts. 
With a few strokes, Eddie curls against you, a low grunt leaving his mouth as he releases into the depth of your cunt, your body arching as you finish too, the feeling of his body pressed against yours bringing to the brink. 
Eddie pulls himself from you, instantly cradling you in his arms. Placing a kiss on your temple, Eddie nudges into you. “Are you okay? Anything hurt?” 
You shake your head, the warmth of his body against yours feeling nice.  “It felt great.” Is all you can manage to say between breaths. Eddie laughs, his fingertips trailing across your skin. “You’re telling me.” 
The ride back to your house was fast, too fast for your liking, and you stand in your backyard underneath your bedroom window. All the lights in your house were dark, your parents’ bedroom at the front of the house dark, no movement behind their shut curtains. You and Eddie really pulled it off. 
Eddie kneels in the wet grass, making himself a stepping tool. You hold onto his shoulder, using his thigh as a steppingstone to your low roof. With a little upper body strength, you ease your way onto your roof, Eddie standing up from the kneeling position to help guide your legs. After, Eddie maneuvers his way on to the roof with ease. He ushers you up, lifting your cracked window open enough for you to sneak into. You climb into your room as quietly as possible, your eyes looking towards your bedside table, your small analog clock reading “2:50 AM.” 
You turn to the window, Eddie crouching down just as he had when he appeared in your window earlier that night. “See? Just like you never left.” 
You smile. “I had a great time, thank you.” You lean out the window, placing a kiss on Eddie’s cheek. “Go before you catch a cold.” Eddie nods, his eyes lingering on you. 
“Oh, wait.” Eddie whispers, reaching his hand behind his back. “I almost forgot to give you this.” Eddie places a single red rose on your windowsill, a light blush tinting his cheeks. You pick the flower up, lifting it to smell it’s fragrant petals. Your heart swells, the kind gesture making you feel warm. 
“I feel bad, I didn’t get you anything for Valentine’s.” 
Eddie shrugs. “You are already the greatest gift.” Eddie leans forward again, catching your lips against his. Then, swiftly, Eddie maneuvers across your roof, waving goodbye as he dodges across your backyard.  
You linger by the window, wondering if you’re in a dream, the night too perfect for words. After a minute, you tuck yourself under your bedsheets, the warmth warning your tingling limbs. As you lay, the rose placed on your bedside table, you hear footsteps coming towards your room. You let your eyes flutter shut, relaxing your body as if you were asleep. 
You hear the doorknob turn, the door cracking open. “See,” you hear your father say, the floor creaking under his weight. The door opens wider, your dad allowing your mother to peer into your room. “She’s still in here, not acting like a hooligan in the dark of the night.” 
You hear your mother hum, the sound of her bracelets clinking as she crosses her arm. “I swear I just heard two voices talking.”
Your father scoffs and you can imagine him shaking his head. You hear their footsteps moving towards the hallway and out of your room. You hear your bedroom door begin to close. “You need to start trusting her more, she’s not the type to be inclined to sneak out in the middle of the night…” you hear your dad say, the rest of his sentence muffled by your closed bedroom door.
You can’t help but smile against your sheets, the memories of Eddie’s mouth planted on yours, his fingertips dragging across your bare skin, the image of the two swans making a heart out of their bodies against the dark of the night. Perhaps it was a good thing you parents didn’t know what you were capable of doing.  
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arabellaawrites · 4 months
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infrunami | cl16
[ drabble ]
by which, she loved him too early, he loved her too late
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
warnings: none
a/n: hello everyone! this is my first fic ever and I'm so happy with how this turned out! I hope it was an enjoyable experience and I hope there wasn't any element that was unpleasant or unenjoyable for yall! I'm aware that it lacks dialogue and everything is past paced and doesn't have much room for detail! I swear I'm working on that and once I've perfected that art, I hope my writing will be more enchanted etc! alright enough yapping. enjoy the fic!
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back then, you and arthur hated watching charles kart. the idea that you both needed to sit under the scorching monegasque sun for afew hours was never exciting but at least you get to watch arthur’s older brother, charles, kart. you’ve always fancied charles ever since arthur introduced you to him at the playground.
he was 3 years older then you and was the exact opposite of arthur, he was matured, well mannered and wasn't childish like you both were. that's what you love so much about him.
until he started going around europe to join racing series, when Arthur broke the news to you, you acted like it wasn't a big deal. you'll still get to see him on the television or during family holidays, right?. but that also means you'll be seeing him once a week or every few months, eventually a week turned into a month, a month turned into a year until suddenly you wont be seeing him at all which broke heart.
soon it was arthur who left you to follow in charles footsteps, racing across europe, joining f4 and achieving great things. unlike Charles, Arthur still kept in contact with you, constantly inviting you to his races and you both still enjoyed each others company, f4 soon turned into f3 and nothing has changed you still admired Charles from afar and Arthur would constantly ask "do you still have a crush on Charles?" or the occasional "y/n you have to let go" but you never did, Charles was your first love and you wanted him and only him.
every night you sleep in bed, tossing and turning, with arthurs voice continuously replaying in your head, but he was right you do have to let go.
when Charles first debuted for formula 1 for haas was when he first reached out to you in years with no contact. inviting you to join the paddock, to see him race in the pinnacle of motorsport, you were above and beyond the moon. strutting down the paddock next to Pascale and Arthur towards the hospitaly while also trying not to pay focus on the ever lasting sounds of camera shutters and kept your composure.
it has been years since then now Charles was in his 6 years in formula 1 and you have never been prouder, seeing him through his ups and down, supporting him through out all the hardships that this sport had caused him.
you often found yourself in and out of college trying to balance study with the constant travel to different races to support your best boys, Arthur and Charles. which alway lead you to end up in his, Charles, driver room before a race reassuring that he'll be fine and his team wont let him down again.
"your the best, y/n" he smiles before suiting up, making you stunned in place with a subtle blush spread across your face as you took his compliment.
barcelona 2023, and you just arrived at the Ferrari hospitality per usual, greeting the staff and Ferrari mechanics as your make your way inside until you bumped into someone making you tumble back as the mysterious man reaches for your waist, holding you steady, you smiled at him and apologized which made him smile back and that's where thing took off.
ever since that day you took has been seeing each other non stop and with that it ruined you and Charles relationship, plans were often cancelled, phone calls were usually ignored and text messages were left unopened. this took a toll on Charles, he's new profound feelings for you was too strong and by the time he realized that he has fallen, it was too late.
"mate please!"
Charles begged to Arthur over the phone, trying to figure out what his feelings were and was trying to piece in the clues in himself. he was frustrated, angry and confused he loved you but it was too late.
while you were living your best life, you had a partner in bed, your home always had that comfortable warm presence of your new boyfriend everything felt perfect, he was everything you ever wanted.
he was also everything Charles ever wanted to be, your man.
until one rainy Tuesday afternoon where everything went downhill, you just came home from them store and was welcome home by the repetitive sound of feminine moans that rang threw out the house. your groceries dropped to the floor followed by the sound of glass in your bag smashing which made the moans stop and your boyfriend ran out to where you were standing. "please I can explain this-" he frantically said while holding on to you as you tried to push him away, "I-ive heard enough! just leave and get your stuff while your at it!" tears swell your eyes as you tried to swallow the horrid sensation in your throat and pushed him away before running back into the rain and in your car. you broke down in heavy tears, your heart ache with hurt and sorrow as you try to make way to Charles place.
"y/n- who did this to you..?"
Charles said as he watches you stand in the rain, mascara running down your face and your clothes all soaking wet, without hesitation he pulled you inside and wrapped a towel around you,
" he cheated on me! how could he-"
you sobs onto him, "he was my-" hiccups "he was my everything and he just!"
you weeped into his chest as he held you tight and tried to calm you down. eventually you stopped crying and lifted your head from his chest
"cha.." you called out to him as he stroked your head and then looking down on you.
"know that I've-" you were cut off "yes I've known...I was an idiot, y/n...I realized too late. I really did love you...I was.." he sighed and looked down at her, "give me another chance, y/n.."
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bakuhatsufallinlove · 3 months
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Message from Horikoshi-sensei, released in Shonen JUMP's announcement video for the conclusion of My Hero Academia.
"My apologies for the two-week break!
All sorts of scheduling conflicts piled up at once, it ended up being like a mille-feuille!**
The series will conclude in five chapters.
'There's still five more!?' you might be thinking, or ''There's only five more!?' I'm sure reactions will differ, but I hope that no matter which one it is, you can still look forward to the conclusion.
I'll do my best for five chapters! Deku and the whole gang will, too!
There were bumps along the way, but somehow I was able to draw Deku and everyone for nearly ten years, all because everyone kept reading.
It was like a dream.
Thank you so much!
Now then! Let's meet again in JUMP!"
**This is a reference to how mille-feuille has numerous layers (its name meaning "thousand sheets") and often looks precariously balanced, as you can see here.
My Hero Academia will end with the combined 36th and 37th issues of Weekly Shonen Jump. Digital release on Sunday, August 4th, 2024, with a street-date of Monday, August 5th, 2024.
This issue is special every year. It comes out right before the Obon holiday, during which the magazine takes a break, hence its combined nature. It often includes special color pages and spreads, and the cover always has a huge, JUMP-wide cast picture of characters from all the different series.
Thank you for everything, Horikoshi-sensei. I'm looking forward to seeing your wonderful finale. <3
最高のフィナーレを刻んでみてよ!
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suashii · 3 months
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— 𝓂𝒾𝒹𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓈𝓃𝒶𝒸𝓀 ౨ৎ
miya atsumu x reader. 0.8k wc. ノ sfw ノ fluff ノ papa!atsumu ノ repost!
a/n: another drabble for father's day — atsumu's turn! here's kuroo's version if u wanna give it a read :3
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in the dead of night, something is making noise.
at the muffled racket, atsumu shoots up with a start. he’d blame it on his years of being a father, but during moments like these, atsumu is glad that he’s become a light sleeper. he turns to his right to see if you too had heard the noise, but you’re still sound asleep. after spending nearly an entire day with the kids, he can’t say he’s surprised to see that you’re out like a light.
tossing the comforter aside, atsumu stands up. his eyes begin to adjust to the darkness as he makes his way to the bedroom door. slowly—quietly—his hand takes a hold of the knob, pulling it towards him. the first thing he notices is that the door across from yours is open. he definitely closed it on his way out after putting the kids to bed. panic floods his chest at the thought of an intruder in his children’s bedroom, but the feeling quickly subsides once the strange noise returns. because it isn’t a strange noise, it’s a small voice—two small voices.
“help me!”
“shh! you gotta be quiet.”
atsumu steps out of the room, quietly padding down the hallway. he stops just before the kitchen and right out of their sightline to get a look at the show. the two have dragged a chair from the table and positioned it in front of the counter. as her brother holds the chair steady for her, the little girl climbs up on the piece of furniture. it makes atsumu anxious to see them so comfortable with the lousy set-up, but he’s more than ready to jump into action if it even looks as though she’s losing her balance.
“i can’t reach,” she pouts. her eyes find their way to the counter as if she is considering climbing on it.
“move, i got it.”
“no, i want to.”
“just move,” the boy tugs at the girl’s pajama shirt.
“no!”
atsumu’s first instinct is to chuckle at how quickly they turn from partners in crime to adversaries (it reminds him of another set of twins), but it’s better that he puts an end to their bickering before the two get into it further and someone ends up hurt. atsumu clears his throat to gain their attention.
their heads whip in his direction, two pairs of wide eyes identical to his own staring back at him.
“what are you rascals up to?”
“nothing,” they say in unison.
“really?” atsumu uncrosses his arms and makes his way over to the twins. “because it looks like you’re trying to get into the snack cabinet.”
he holds his arms out to his daughter. with a sigh, she grabs onto him so he can safely lower her down from the chair. the kids stand beside each other—obviously not too happy that they were caught. he wonders if this was the sight his mother was met with when he and osamu got into any sort of trouble.
“so, were you?” he questions. of course, he already knows the answer.
“maybe,” the boy confesses.
“only ‘cause we didn’t get one after dinner,” his sister quickly adds.
after telling you and atsumu how excited they both were to have received holiday treats in school, you both decided that they could go without their regular after-dinner snack for a night. he wonders just when the two of them started formulating this little plan of theirs. the smart little things even knew to wait until they thought you and atsumu were asleep.
“well, you already brushed your teeth for the night and it’s late, so you can’t have any sweets now.” both of the faces before him are painted with dejected frowns. he’s never liked seeing their lips turned downwards, but he has to be firm with this. though, that doesn’t mean he can’t strike a negotiation.
“but if you go back to bed now and don’t cause any trouble tomorrow, you both can pick out two snacks after you eat dinner.”
their eyes light up with joy at the thought of extra sweets. they don’t need long to think about accepting the deal. they turn on their heels, ready to return to their beds, but atsumu grabs both their hands before they can run off too soon. “one more thing.”
they stop in their tracks, seemingly exasperated that he isn’t allowing them to hold up their end of the deal. atsumu squats down to their level, each of his hands resting on top of their heads. 
“promise dad you won’t go climbing chairs on your own anymore. it’s not safe.”
the kids turn to look at each other before nodding their heads. “we promise.”
“good.” he scoops them both into his arms. they’re getting so big but atsumu won’t let that stop him from carrying them around like they’re still tiny, like they’re still the little babies he brought home from the hospital all those years ago. he plants a kiss on each of their cheeks. “now let’s get you gremlins back to bed.”
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thanks for reading! reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!
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radiantcircle-if · 3 months
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The Radiant Circle
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The Radiant Circle is a work-in-progress contemporary fantasy interactive novel with elemental magic, a heavy hand of romance, and a salt-sprinkle of mystery. The story is rated 18+ and may contain triggering content for some.
↪ introduction (updated 7/22/24) ⟢ demo (upcoming fall/winter)
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You were born without any magic into a long lineage of sorcerers who serve the Night Circle—a division of the Radiant Circle, the central governing body that maintains order among sorcerers. Even now when you live outside of the magical community, you’re still required to report to the local leadership about the magic you still don’t have.
Of course, only after having accepted a life without magic, you awaken a latent magical power too great to be yours. Myths speak of such a sorcerer, a Resonant Soul capable of mastering all four elements, reincarnated throughout history to bring balance to the magic community. So little is truly known, but that can’t be you.
But what if it is?
Thankfully, as an investigative journalist, what you do best is hunt for the truth. To unravel the secrets of your soul, you’re forced back into the world of sorcery to navigate ancient rivalries and contend with those who may fear your newfound power and seek to bury it for good. 
Because while most didn't believe the myths to be true, others have been preparing for your return. Most of all? You four souls bonded to yours for eternity.
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Play as the main character ⟢
Choose your name, appearance, gender, and sexuality.
Develop your personality as a harmonizer or disruptor—will you bring unity or will you bring destruction?
Gain mastery over elemental magic as the Resonant Soul—how much mastery in each element is up to you.
Travel the world while earning or losing influence through your decisions—will your reputation precede you or will you remain unknown?
Five romance options ⟢
Two pansexual men, one lesbian, and two gender-selectable romance options... and a hidden sixth romance option... with the potential for more to unlock later.
Four soulmates who will be revealed over the course of the story—your bonds, whether platonic or romantic, are yours to develop.
And if you don’t like romance, you can improve your friendships instead.
Or if you’re a misanthrope, deteriorate all your relationships to your liking.
Good endings? Check. Bad endings? Also check.
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You ✦ 26-year-old journalist from Seattle, USA (ℹ) Rejected by the magical community because your magic never awakened, you once sought to understand why before later turning to a career of journalism to attempt to uncover truths that don’t have to do with magic. Your dissertation was titled “Unveiling the Hidden: A Comparative Study of Secret Societies and Their Influence on Modern Media." After landing your dream job as an investigative journalist, you're returning home to Seattle for your assignment.
⟡ tropes include main character (surprise! you're the main character), insider/outsider, the most wanted (because you are a…), person of mass destruction, (possible) living legend, (possible) lust object, (seemingly) cosmic plaything…
Arseau Nassiet ⟡ High Justicar 31-year-old water sorcerer (he/him) from Seattle, USA (ℹ) A talented water sorcerer, your older brother Arseau is well loved within the Night Circle's upper echelons, but he'd never brag about it. He has been away from home for over a decade, raising ranks within the circle alongside his best friend. He coordinates his visit home with yours during the holidays so he can see his favorite younger sibling (never mind that he has only one sibling—you).
⟡ tropes include protective older brother, brainless beauty (yeah, he's a himbo), the caregiver/caretaker, the confidant (if you want), the informant, nice guy (someone has to keep the peace between the Pico brothers), the reliable one...
César Pico (RO) ⟡ Archumbricar 31-year-old earth sorcerer (he/him) from Tijuana, MX (ℹ) One of the highest ranking earth sorcerers in the world, César is seen as the unofficial heir of the current Night Luminary—and he takes the role seriously. As your brother's best friend, he has been a permanent fixture in your life as far as you remember—another persistent reminder of the magic that has remained inaccessible to you and the community that left you behind. He's at least an attractive reminder, even if it's unfortunate that his rare smirk proves that he knows it.
⟡ tropes include the hero, the cold & brooding heir, older brother's best friend/forbidden love, age gap, opposites attract, danger deadpan, glory hound, tall dark & handsome (obviously) ⟡ solo-route (with a possible rivalry with his brother), borderline enemies to lovers, (possible first love), forced proximity, maybe the slowest burn
Rafa Pico (RO) ⟡ High Justicar 27-year-old fire sorcerer (he/him) from Tijuana, MX (ℹ) The younger brother of César....and also his left hand man even though he doesn't take his position within the Night Circle very seriously. He doesn't take anything very seriously except his freedom. Especially his freedom to flirt his way into anyone's good graces.
⟡ tropes include the explorer, the charming playboy, childhood/long time friend, (his) unrequited crush (on you), the (horny) bard, speed demon, hell seeker, elegant classical musician... ⟡ solo-route (with a possible rivalry with his brother), friends to lovers but he never really saw you as a friend, forced proximity, slow burn
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Gazi Gharib (RO) ⟡ Photojournalist 28-year-old (she/her or he/him) from New York City, USA (ℹ) Your roommate and best friend ever since you moved to NYC, they're always ready to help you investigate something new and dangerous.
⟡ tropes include the innocent, the best friend, the encouraging charmer, the serial romeo, the casanova, agent mulder (the believer), empathetic communicator, spirited competitor, the klutz ⟡ solo-route or poly-route with Deniz, besties to lovers (and you can start at the lover bit if you'd like cause this one is a...), faaaaaast burn
Deniz Yılmaz (RO) ⟡ Private Investigator 26-year-old (he/him or she/her) from Istanbul, TR (ℹ) Your next-door-neighbor and childhood best friend. You haven't kept in close contact, but they're the first person you think of seeing when you visit home.
⟡ tropes include the jester, agent scully (the skeptic), street-smart investigator, hardboiled detective, erudite stoner, literal-minded/snark knight combo, childhood friends, loyal supporter, gadgeteer genius ⟡ solo-route or poly-route with Gazi, childhood friends (or was it more?) to lovers, (possible second chance romance...), somewhere between slow and fast burn
Dr. Noel Sung (RO) ⟡ Journalist 41-year-old (she/her) from London, UK (ℹ) Your graduate school mentor who you credit for preparing you to land a job at The New York Times as prestigious as it is. She's now your direct supervisor, and she has quite the assignment for you.
⟡ tropes include the magician, high-powered career woman, absent-minded professor(/former forbidden love?), age gap, charismatic intellectual, intuitive leader, pragmatic idealist, deadpan snarker, determinator, shrinking violet, (your possible unrequited crush on her goes here)… ⟡ solo-route, workplace romance (technically; she's your boss now), slow burn
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An ancient, hidden society of sorcerers ⟢
The Radiant Circle is the central governing body that maintains harmony and order among sorcerers, as well as keep their community secret. It was originally formed and led by the Resonant Soul (called the High Guardian—this is you) and the most powerful elemental sorcerers of the time (called the Founding Guardians—these are the four souls bonded to you) as an alliance of sorcerers from across the New Kingdom of Egypt.
After its formation, the magical community grew, and eventually, the Radiant Circle was divided into four smaller regional circles called the Ephemeral Circles: the Night Circle (you know the most about this one), the Dawn Circle, the Day Circle, and the Dusk Circle. These four circles, also called luminariates, are the main governing bodies of the current world of sorcery. Every known family of sorcerers lives under the eye of the Radiant Circle and one of the four Ephemeral Circles.
Only the Resonant Soul can be the High Guardian of the Radiant Circle. Only the four souls bonded with Resonant Soul can be the Founding Guardians. During periods where the Resonant Soul or the Guardians aren’t alive, these positions are left vacant and the Ephemeral Circles meet as the Radiant Council annually instead. Unfortunately, it's been so long since there has been a Resonant Soul that there aren't many people left who remember who sits at the top of the hierarchy.
You live as a Threshold—an uninitiated sorcerer, typically a child who can't use magic yet—within the luminariate called the Night Circle. You sit at the bottom of the hierarchy, but every other sorcerer you know? César is an Archumbricar, the right hand of the Night Luminary and leader of the Night Circle. Arseau and Rafa are César's High Justicars, his right and left hands. Your dads even play a role, advising the Luminary from their position in the Night Weave.
A single soul that can control all four elements, reincarnated once again—you ⟢
Before you became the Resonant Soul, you were a child born without magic to two prominent sorcerers sometime before recorded human history begins. Back then, it was common to put the child of every sorcerer through a resonance ritual, even children of sorcerers born without magic who always died in the process. But where there's a will, there's a way, and someone really wanted you to live and created circumstances that bound your souls together—one into endless reincarnation and the other into endless immortality.
You meet the four original Guardians over the course of hundreds of years. Your bonds are unique and have chained the fate of their souls with yours so that they are reincarnated in an endless cycle by your side. Even so, you've lived more lives without them than with them, lived more lives without magic than with it. Almost as if you're fighting a losing battle against knowing your true soul.
Only the Resonant Soul can resonate with all four types of elemental magic, but your magic remains locked away until you regain your memories (how're you supposed to regain memories you don't remember you need to regain? then again, how safe would it be to give you all that power and no recollection of all the mistakes you've made?). The Guardians are known for their extraordinary abilities in one element; their magic isn't sealed away, only their memories (which still isn't convenient—how are you supposed to know who they are if they don't know who they are?).
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⟢ retweets & asks are welcome! there is no better writing motivation ♡
〉 Sections: Profiles, Editorials, Articles, Ask Me, Answers, Quotes
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the-monkeies-girl · 3 months
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Flame Kissed Skin. ( Caesar x Human!Reader, Planet of the Apes Oneshot. )
and then i said oh my god
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Title: Flame Kissed Skin. Fandom: ( Dawn of the ) Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( Implications of mating, sexual themes. ) Pairing: HEAVILY! Implied Caesar x Human!Reader. Words: 3.2K+ Summary: AU where Cornelia died after giving birth to Blue Eyes. What would the Ape King's reaction be to seeing you wearing a dress for the first time? CAESAR MASTERLIST. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・
You scanned the Colony that was flickering with ambient lighting basing from the sweeping bonfire that was in front of you, the speckled torches that spotted along the inside of the Colony border that reminded you of how twinkling Holiday lights would be displayed during the Season. Blaze drenched all across the delicate but harshly torn nature of the wicker baskets that cased around the sides and down the minor cliffside, greeting with happiness at the celebration that took hold for such a successful Hunt. 
Captivating shadows along the fur of many Apes who were taking in their communal aspect of meals, greatly enjoyed and deeply imbued with a sense of respect they had to spend time together. You had not seen anything like it since arriving at the Colony; it was not done after every Hunt but done often enough, you gathered, to keep the spirits up and to keep everyone engaged in building and maintaining the lifestyle that they had enabled since the wiping of Humanity due to the Flu. 
Elk and smaller Game as usual that were freshly roasted and cooked coated the inside of the wicker bowls, free for grazing along with nuts, berries and roots that had been foraged that day by the Female Apes who did not participate in the hunting with their mates or the ones they were destined to be with. You smiled bashfully at Lake and Blue Eyes who were sitting next to you, knowing the truth of the unspoken that rested there and admired with a softened gaze how enthralled in conversation they had been before it turned more sarcastic and fun when Ash and River finally joined. 
You chattered with them, your hand signing rudimentary but you were still grateful that they were able to understand the small funny quips you were alluding to about their endeavors of the day. Sliding your boot-clad feet against the slick rock below your perched seat, you were suddenly flushed with a wall of anxiousness. 
Caesar had not made himself known to your wondering stare. You had lingered a few moments too long on Rocket who was speaking with Luca off a few meters to your left, grinning gratefully at them before turning to the right and seeing nothing of interest except for Koba who’s half a gawk always rode a chill up your spine, enough to cause you to legitimately feel cold despite the flames that were toasting the bare skin that was exposed to the ocean air brought in by the breeze.
Bringing your hand up, you slid the cap of your inch-wide sleeve upwards to the case around your shoulder and lingered your fingers there as you repositioned the strap to stop it from sliding down your arm. You were not one for dresses; they had no purpose in a world that was so harsh and cruel but… Tilting your head to the side, you ran your fingers downwards to play against your kneecaps. You wanted something different; something celebratory for yourself as you were unable to fully appreciate the Hunt that provided the Colony with such pride and abundant food. 
‘Father.’ Blue Eyes signed, flicking his gaze from his core group of friends who he had been raised with, to you for a brief moment and then beyond your smaller shoulder towards the Ape King himself who casted a minor and dancing shadow against the back of your body.
You stiffened, feeling the rounding of his large frame coming to grips next to yours, your ample eyes watching in acute fascination how his thigh muscles shifted, how his feet were able to dexterously hit the ground below to keep his balance as he returned a greeting gesture to Blue Eyes and then to the group of Apes. None of which seemed affected by his sudden appearance, none of them saw Caesar as anything more than their leader; strong and powerful, rightfully so you thought and tried to trail your peering irises towards something else as the Chimp came to sit next to you, slowly. 
Too slowly, you felt like screaming the moment that his fur capsized against the bare skin of your upper arm and you were suddenly cursing inside of your mind for not wearing actual functioning clothing. A dress, stupid decision you muttered, popping your mouth and looking at the fire.
It was red; the deeper shade that resembled more of a blood soak, captivated around the fibers were yellow and pink flowers that reminded you of the ones that grew in the meadow near the Colony. You wondered… Giving some attention to Caesar as he was engaged now with Blue Eyes about the Hunt. You had to wonder if Caesar would notice a detail like that, the small hairs that lined your body rising in anticipation as if you were seeking his validation in the first place.
You could have sworn between the gestures that Father and Son were sharing that Caesar did spot you a few glances. Sweeping his gold and green encrusted eyes against the bare nature of your legs, your feet shuffling inwards a bit out of embarrassment for not having proper shoes but you felt you’d slip and fall on rocks if you tried anything other than your worn-with-time boots.
The way your breathing picked up was noticed by Caesar, the rising and falling of the fabric against your chest pushing the small detailed and faux wooden buttons against the curve of your breasts so immaculately, like they would burst if he stared at them too intently, that he found it difficult to focus momentarily. 
There was a silent goodbye between them all, something you had not noticed in your crazed fit to ignore the way that your mind was racing with thoughts about the Ape next to you. Blue Eyes, Lake, River and Ash left you, your eyes watching their forms before you glanced over, trying to push down the lingering notion that you needed to say goodbye as well and trail to your grounded nest for the night as well. 
“Have not…” The tips of your ears pricked at the sound of a deeply rich and catapulting baritone and you twisted your body minutely, appreciating now the coldness of the rock you were sitting on against the heat on the back of your thighs. “Seen Human… Clothes… Like that… Long time.”
“Yeah, well.” You chuckled nervously and rolled your shoulders as soon as you felt Caesar’s ogle on them, the falling and shifting as your body subconsciously drifted towards his own, leaning inwards to get his utmost attention. It was like your own actions weren’t yours, there was nothing stopping you from gravitating towards Caesar as heat ran against your cheeks, against the bottoms of your eye sockets and ran all the way to the very tip of your ears.
“Wanted to wear something nice. Fo-For the Celebration! I’ve never seen the other Apes so… Celebratory.” That was stupid, why did I just say that? You looked at him from the corner of your eye and could see the huff of his broad chest. Was he… laughing? Swallowing hard, you drew your mouth into a jerked grin and muttered, “We don’t really get the weather here for these sorts of clothes, you know? I-I don’t have fur like you guys do so I stay pretty bundled up…---” Your voice tapered into nothingness as Caesar shifted once more beside you, bringing his form in the few inches it took until his bicep was kissing against yours fully, smothering at your softer skin was coarse fur that made you want to roll your eyes back in ecstasy. Yeah… You had to admit and leered down at the contact that was made. Yeah… You wanted his attention. The dress. Everything about it, you wanted to crawl into Caesar’s lap and let him feel your bare thighs around his muscular and thinner waist, holding onto him for dear life with your entire body.
“It is…” There was a moment of pause as he trudged through his limited dictionary that seemed to expand day in and day out the more time he spent with you. “Nice to see… Something different.”
A tiny shudder that was not caused by cold ran down your body and rested itself between your legs, and with the motion you made to bring your knees together to subdue that, Caesar was blessed with a shocking state of your scent. There was no mistaking it, the Ape King thought to himself and brought his eyes down to look at your face from his peripheral vision.
Downwards, dripping like slow moving honey against the bark of a tree, he was able to see the trudges of your sternum as your shoulders were brought together out of innate nerves from being so near to Caesar, there was no denying the waft of arousal that sat itself between you, coating the very tips of his fur that was caressing you in spots. Stiffening at the notion that he could see your bare breasts if he tried hard enough, Caesar drew his glance forward once more. 
“T-Thanks.” You muttered under your breath and drew air into your lungs that stayed stagnant for a split second as if you wanted to suffocate yourself. With the exaltation, the strap that refused to sit in its position against your shoulder fell down once more, reflex kicking in and you went to push it back upwards. Not before Caesar managed, his reaction time being much greater than that of a meager Human.
Hot… Your mouth parted as you looked down. Slow motion, Caesar drew your thin strap up, two thick fingers dancing lightly against the top of your willing skin. The curve of your shoulder cap was paid attention to as Caesar made the action his own, finally setting the strap down in its allotted position before his entire palm skimmed at your shoulder and held on in a ghosting whisper. There was the evident nature that his skin was calloused, but you wanted to hold every part of your body until your nerve endings were fried and you were able to feel nothing else. 
“Thank you…” That did not sound like your voice. It was wistful around the edges, almost desperate in the center. You hated it, eyes hooded as you tried to keep yourself in slacked control but there was nothing keeping you grounded anymore. Nothing anymore as you turned your head fully and felt your cheek brush against the knuckles of the Ape King, tickling at your pores were the less thick bristles of his fur that played along the flatter pieces on the outside of his fingers.
Quickened inhales paired with sharper exhales puffed air onto Caesar’s face, the fur that rode against his collarbones rose at the closeness that he never allowed himself in the first place after Cornelia passed. Something about this though, his eyes meeting yours in a moment of flurried and frenzied attraction, felt… right.
Maybe Caesar was drunk from the celebration; not from sustenance or substances, but from happiness that he never allowed himself to feel at the forefront of his pragmatic mind. Maybe it was the fact that his fellow Apes were indeed prospering beyond what he imagined was possible all those years ago, sitting in front of a rounded window and watching teenagers act as such. Maybe…--- 
Caesar looked down at your neck as you swallowed hard, the enthralling nature of which your jugular shifted all too intoxicating for the Ape King who brought the palm of his hand down to pet along your bicep, maybe he wanted to be those teenagers. Maybe, he wanted to just take you into his nest without reserve and make you his. Over and over and over. Lust was such a Human element in all of this, Caesar was never one to admit that. Caesar never really cared to admit that as he flickered his glance downwards to your thighs and how they bristled at the hem of the dress.
“You have… many… of these?” He gestured with his free hand to your entire shape and how it was filling out the fabric. In most situations, you’d have torn yourself away from the attention, away from the notions that you needed this interaction. But Caesar… Was nothing more than unwavering in how he assured you in your Human aspects that you wanted to cling to when living with other Apes. The Chimp next to you kept motivation strong that you did not lose yourself, that you remained as Human as you could because deep down… 
Drawing your bottom lip in, you shook your head and let a rattling breath escape your lips. Deep, deep down… Caesar liked everything about it. The wash of your hair in the flames, how it bounced the outline, the casts of playful silhouettes against the actual garment of the crimson dress, your fingers calling themselves in and out on your lap, relaxing into a palm before crimping into a fist; racking with nerves and fears that were not known consciously but always lingered in the back of your mind whenever the Ape King allotted himself the privilege of being so near to you.
“Thi---... This was the only one I was able to find after the Flu hit. At least, the only one that fits me.”
“Fits well.” The chortle that came from the depths of your throat was nothing more than a nightmare as you nodded, flushing your entire body with heat that rivaled even the Sun blisters. It took nearly all your will power to remind yourself that Caesar was like that; blunt and brash, oftentimes to the point of obliviousness at how his words would come across. 
But this, you came to a slow stopped giggle and allowed the delectation of staring at him once more, his side profile was just as stern and intimidating as it was the first time you admired it, but there was a softening around his browline that you figured was due to the light of the fire in front of you, why else would Caesar give you such a vulnerable look at him? You tried to argue but found fascination in it otherwise as your pointer fingers twitched out of desire to touch his brows to see if they would soften further. 
The drooling of the lightened brown that rode against the fur that lined the outside of his hardened features, the minute detailing of graying fur that was spotting through. The rise and fall of his flatter nose, calm and collected… You saw nothing that indicated that he meant the words as anything less than a compliment. Try to twist it as you may, Caesar’s stance said as he finally withdrew the hand that was near your bicep and replaced the contact with undiluted eye contact, his full face now painted in clear vision for you, I meant what I said with all the intentions it implies. 
Shuddering a bit, Caesar took note of that and muttered the smallest, “Not much… Fabric to keep you… shielded.” “Yeah… I uhm… I forgot to bring my… jacket…” You uttered in response, absolutely lost in the way that he was gawking into your stare. Dominant were his green irises, submissive were the golden flecks that were resting within that danced along with the oranges and yellows that cased against his glazed orbs from the fire. 
Stop, you wanted to say and parted your mouth, Caesar drinking up the taste of your air for you were no more than a few centimeters away from a forehead brisk, stop looking at me like that, Caesar… But your body had its change of heart, telling the truer intentions of your choice of apparel as you scooted inwards a bit more to captivate your senses against the heat of his body, Caesar relenting whatever self-control he had as he brought a hand up to rest against your bare shoulder once more. 
A near moan escaped your parted lips as he dragged his heated palm down and trenched the strap he had situated for you right along with it as you swallowed hard, to no avail and there was no lump resting in the back of your esophagus. “Cae-” “Can… Walk you back to… nest if you would… Like.  Get… warm there?”
There were heavy implications in his words that were now pairing with his actions as you nodded only wordlessly, watching with bated desire as Caesar stood in front of you, your eyes carding themselves down his frame and stiffening at the pure stance of power he had once he laid his entire weight on his proportionally shorter legs. Large hand out, you stared at it and let the other sleeve of your dress fall, beckoning to the Ape King your answer without having to say anything as you were now exposing the full scape of your collarbones for him, imagination running rampant at the prospect of laying bare bite marks against the delicate skin and snapping at the bones below. 
There was an answer to the flittering question that had yet to be asked as you dived your hand into his, feeling a shock down your fingers into your wrist as Caesar picked you up carefully, his own gaze falling down at your feet to make sure you were not going to slip. 
“W-Wish I had fur sometimes.” You joked and felt fleeting like a leaf as Caesar began helping you trail towards your smaller home, nestled on the ground rather than high up in suspended air as was the preferred way of the Apes of the Colony. Glancing over your shoulder, you were thankful it appeared that they all had returned to their own homes, the bonfire now being left to die as the night trailed into pitch blackness. 
How would you explain to any of them… That Caesar was whisking you away, his hand pressing against your hip as you hopped down a small step, nearly crunching yourself against his chest as a result. How would you explain this to anyone? Gasping quietly, you felt the bunching of your dress around your waist as Caesar grasped you even tighter and pulled you nearly flushed against his barrel chest.
“Alright? Humans… so unbalanced.” 
That was a joke, you recognized with an ample look of amusement swirling now with the future ideas of how Caesar was going to keep you warm once you arrived at your hut if you were feeling so bold to invite him in. But, the idea was already planted, it was Caesar who suggested to get you warm out of courtesy of your Humanness. You got cold, he knew that. You got cold, you tried to ignore that as you were quick to rationalize the attraction that was suddenly present but had been there since you first met. “I-I’m okay…” You swallowed hard, looking at his pectorals and lining the trace of his scar. Tucking your fingers into his furred forearms, you moved them inwards as if to give the silent permission that he was allowed to touch you, that the dress that laid against you as a second skin of sorts was nothing more than an obstacle at this point. “Y-You don’t need to walk me all the way back to my hut, you know. I-I’m pretty good seeing in the d---”
Caesar chuffed at that, the sound as encompassing as ever as you also felt it against your chest coming from deep inside of his diaphragm and the familiar wash of arousal cased between your legs and drenched Caesar's entire self, eyes dilating as he muttered, almost flirtatious around the edges as you had never heard before.
“Never said… I was taking you back… to your nest.”
236 notes · View notes
reiding-writing · 10 months
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mistletoe [ s.r ]
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Summary:
Spencer accidentally slips to the team that he doesn’t like Christmas, and you take it upon yourself to try and change his mind during one of your bi-weekly movie nights.
WARNINGS: mentions of schizophrenic episodes, mentions of divorce, slight miscommunication
pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader
genre: 99% fluff, tiny bit of angst, two oblivious idiots in love
wc: 4.6k
masterlist!!
a/n: watch someone who doesn’t like christmas, write about a reader who does like christmas 😭 thanks to ml @flowersfromautumn for beta reading this for me 🫶🫶
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Spencer Reid was not a Christmas person.
The rest of the team found it a little ironic, especially considering his overwhelming love for halloween, but he wasn’t going to tell them that the reason he hated the holiday season was because his mother’s paranoia spiked during them. He wasn’t going to tell them that the last time he’d tried to do something with his family for the holidays it ended with his mother locking herself in her bedroom for three straight days and Spencer finding a copy of divorce papers half-hidden under his father’s work files.
He wasn’t going to tell the team that the whole month of December felt like a massive dissociation for him every single year to the point where - despite his eidetic memory - he couldn’t remember most of the Christmases of his childhood.
His younger years were enjoyable, at least, he thinks so; Filled with festivities and family-bonding. But as his growth was overshadowed by his mother's battle with schizophrenia, the jingling bells and festive lights brought memories of unpredictable episodes, turning what should have been joyful celebrations into overwhelming anxiety and stress.
The only Christmas he had a clear memory of was the one in 1990, the day he found out that his family was no longer a family at all. That’s a lot for a nine year old to handle, even if his mind preceded his age twice over.
“Spencer?” You knock - kick - at the front door of Spencer’s apartment, right on time for your bi-weekly movie session. “Spencer Reid? Hellooo?”
It takes a minute for Spencer to open the door, adjusting his thick-rimmed glasses as he does so. “Sorry I was just-“
Spencer cuts himself off as his eyes meet the large cardboard box in your hand, noting how you’re leaning it on top of your thigh with your leg balanced in the air so you don’t drop it. “What’s that for?”
“You’ll see,” You give him a half-smug smile as you push your way past him into his apartment, dumping the box on his coffee table and shaking out your arms to relive them of the ache of carrying its weight for the last several minutes.
Spencer follows soon after you, pushing the door closed and tilting his head at the box like a puppy who’d just been presented with a ball for the first time.
Its oddly endearing, and you find yourself getting distracted from the box as you take in the way the warm lighting of his apartment cascades over the side of his face, leaving a soft shadow that accentuates his jawline in the most perfect way to make your stomach do a flip in your torso and stir a kaleidoscope of butterflies awry in its wake.
You’re thrust back into reality by Spencer speaking your name, his tone so sweet you’re sure it could give you cavities. “What’s in the box?”
“Oh- right, right yeah uh-“ You peel the tape off of one side of the box, peeling it open to let the two flaps at the top of the box loose. “Okay don’t be mad at me-“
You slowly open the box up to let Spencer look inside it properly. It was completely filled to the brim with a collection of miscellaneous decorations fit for the Christmas season, all neatly packed into smaller boxes and plastic containers, separated with labels on each.
Spencer says your name again as his eyes scan the contents of the box, this time with much less sweetness and much more apprehension.
“Why did you—“
Reid cuts himself off for a second time in the last five minutes as he reads the labels on the smaller boxes, getting caught on one lining the main box’s long side. “You brought a tree?”
It’s a small one,”
Spencer looks at you like you’ve just released a mischief of rats into his apartment.
He was expecting to be sat on his couch with you at his side, devouring cheap take-away pizza whilst indulging in multiple hours of re-runs of Doctor Who. Instead, you’d dumped a box of Christmas decorations on his coffee table which he can only assume you’ll hound him into putting up.
He’d been ambushed.
“You know I’m not really fond of the whole Christmas thing,” Spencer says, running a hand through the fluffy mess of brown hair that you would gladly spend hours with your fingers in if he’d let you.
“I know you aren’t Spencer, but this is the time of year where people are supposed to spend time with the people they care about, I’m not going to let you spend it hauled up in an undecorated apartment by yourself,” You begin to unload the boxes onto his coffee table with a soft sigh.
“It’s just another day,” Spencer’s voice is soft, appreciative of you going out of your way to do something like this for him but also not entirely sure of the point of it. “Besides, don’t you have plans with your family?”
“They’re on the other side of the country Spence, and as much as I love them i’m not taking that trip down, just in case something comes up with the team,” You unbox the artificial tree first, pulling it out of its box and tugging the flattened branches outwards to make it look more tree-like. “So i’m saddled up here for the holidays,”
You move the tree over to a side table next to one of the walls of Spencer’s apartment, the dark green complimenting the olive of his walls.
“Do we really have to do this?” Spencer’s voice is non-confrontational, not wanting to fight with you.
“It’ll be fun I promise,” You blink up at him with those eyes of yours and there’s no way in hell he’s going to be able to say no to you.
Spencer sighs softly, dragging his fingers over his closed eyelids under his glasses before reluctantly opening a plastic container labelled ‘lights’, beginning to untangle one of the strings of lights from the others. “I don’t think I’ve put up a tree since I was around eight or nine,”
“You don’t think?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you continue to adjust the faux branches of the tabletop tree.
“I- don’t actually remember most of my Christmases…” Spencer’s pursed smile fills you with an overwhelming amount of upset sympathy that he can immediately read all over your face. “I was never exactly ‘enraptured’ with it anyway,”
That was a total lie.
Spencer tries to shrug off your concern as he successfully manages to untangle the lights. “Did you know that the first ever rendition of ‘Christmas’ as we know it happened roughly 5000 years ago?”
And there goes Spencer’s distraction technique. He’d always manage to turn the attention away from himself and towards something academic when he was becoming uncomfortable with his own vulnerability.
“It was originally actually celebrated on December 21st as a celebration of the mid-winter solstice, and the Neolithics, or new stone age people, would gather around Stonehenge to have feasts and exchange gifts with each other, even playing music associated with the holiday on bone flutes from the cattle used for the feast.”
A part of you wants to stop Spencer’s tangent, to bring the topic back to why Christmas was such a bad time of the year for him as a child that it caused gaps in his memory despite him remembering the rest of his life down to the most minor of details. But another part of you knows that if it’s that bad, maybe it’s best to leave it be. He’ll tell you when he’s ready to.
“So-“ Spencer rummages around for a few seconds in one of his drawers to pull out some batteries for the lights, then turning a warm yellow once they’re powered, twinkling on and off intermittently. “How do we know what goes where?”
He begins to carefully wrap the lights around the length of the tree down in a spiral, leaving the battery box in the small fake pot underneath the tree. He at least knows where to put the lights.
“We vibe it,” You shrug your shoulders softly at his question as you go back over to the coffee table to retrieve your box of baubles, a mix of red and off white, with a few of them covered in glitter.
“We- Vibe it?” Spencer furrows his expression slightly as he watches you arbitrarily place one of the baubles on the tree.
That was one of the things he remembered about decorating with his parents when he was younger. The tree was organised. And he remembers the arguments that spanned from what should have been a family-bonding activity.
The end result always looked more like one of those display Christmas trees in department stores than a Christmas tree put together by a loving family. But he supposes it makes sense considering the dynamic of his parents.
“Yep, we vibe it,” You pick up a second bauble to hang from the tree. “Just try not to put too many of the same colour in one area otherwise it can look a little dodgy,”
“Right- Okay…” It doesn’t take long for him to get a feel for where the baubles should be going, and he follows your lead in hanging them on the branches.
He’s a lot less stressed than the fragmented memories of his show him he should be as he decorates the small tree with you, and he’s sure it’s because the soft smile adorning your features as you pass him baubles of different colours and sizes houses some sort of black magic that just erases all semblance of negativity from his mind.
After a few minutes, Spencer takes a step back from the tree to look over his work, feeling pretty satisfied with himself, a small smile gracing his features that the warm light of the fairy lights only accentuates, casting a soft glow over his face. “Not bad,”
“Ah-” You hold up a hand as you rifle through the box, pulling out a very obviously handmade tree topper in the vague appearance of a fairy. “One more thing,”
“A fairy?” Spencer takes the topper from your hand carefully, as if he’s afraid of breaking it if he were to hold onto it too tightly. “Who made this?”
“I did-“ An almost unnoticeable flush covers your cheeks as you watch him examine the cone of white card with a painted styrofoam head and yarn for hair, wings cut out of translucent iridescent lining and haphazardly folded into shape over jeweller’s wire. “When i was a kid-“
“It’s adorable,” Spencer’s voice proves his genuinity. He feels somewhat touched by the fact that you still had it. “You’ve been holding on to this for years?”
“Yeah- I usually put it on top of my tree at home but I figured that you’d benefit more from it this year than I would-“ Spencer almost melts at your thoughtfulness. It’s honestly one of the sweetest things he thinks anyone has ever done for him. It obviously meant a lot to you, and yet here you were, surrendering it into Spencer’s care to try and make his holiday season more festive.
“That’s- really sweet of you…” He smiles fondly, gently placing the topper on top of the tree, rotating it slightly so it faces into the main portion of his living room. "It looks like you,"
You laugh softly at the statement, “Vaguely,”
The fairy-topped tree now radiates a cozy warmth in Spencer's living room. The soft glow from the lights and the sentimental touch of the handmade topper seem to transform the atmosphere, creating a space that feels more like a home than just a place to reside.
As you both step back to admire the decorated tree, a sense of accomplishment fills the room. Spencer's eyes linger on the fairy topper, appreciating the connection it holds to your childhood and the kindness behind your gesture.
"We’re not done yet,” You grasp both of his shoulders in your hands for a second, giving them a soft squeeze before heading back over to the box to continue decorating around his apartment.
He smiles at the sight of your enthusiasm. “You’re getting carried away,” Spencer’s tone borders a laugh as you start to scatter decorations around his living room.
You hang a line of gold tinsel along the mantle of his faux fireplace, drape a string of fairy lights over his bookshelf, and hand him small festive table toppers for him to scatter into spaces on his home office, and slowly but surely, his apartment radiates that festive energy associated with the Christmas season.
“You can never have too many decorations,” You shake your head softly at Spencer as he glances over the decorations you’d shoved into his hands.
“But do I really need any decorations?” Spencer sighs softly, slowly putting down the decorations flooding his arms down on his dining table, trying not to sound unappreciative of your efforts.
A little part of him wants to tell you that all of these decorations weren’t really making him feel any better about the holiday season; But he wants to see you happy, even if he has no desire to decorate the place himself.
“It’s just me here,” he adds softly.
“That doesn’t matter,” you tilt your head at him slightly as you retreat back to the cardboard box to retrieve more decorations. “Besides,”
Your eyes catch on a small sprig of mistletoe, and you adjust the wiring to flatten it out properly as you pull it out of the box. “You never know,”
“You expect me to bring someone over here?” Spencer laughs in a mix of astonishment and embarrassment. “Who would I even bring over?”
You respond only with a shrug of your shoulders as you pick up one of Spencer’s dining chairs, carrying it over to the front door so that you can stand on it to comfortably reach the door frame.
“This is way too extra,” he says, looking at the mistletoe that’s now being fastened above his front door as he stands at your side, one hand braced on the back of the dining chair to make sure that you don’t accidentally tip yourself over. “What if I bring someone back and it’s all awkward?”
“You just have an excuse to kiss anyone you think is attractive when they walk into your apartment, sounds like a win win to me,” You hop off of the dining chair once you’re finished, bringing it back to its rightful place under his dining table.
Spencer flushes slightly. “You do realize what you’re saying, right?” he asks. “Like you’re insinuating me going out of my apartment, bringing a random person in here, and kissing them immediately upon entry.”
You give him a pointed look that silently tells him that he’s reading too much into it as you pack up the rest of the box, satisfied with your work. “It’s about time you got some lovin’ Spence,”
It’s not like he doesn’t agree with your sentiment, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not extremely flustered.
“I’m not sure anyone is interested,” He says that like he hadn’t almost had a fling with a hollywood actress a few years ago, like he didn’t constantly have women fawning over him during cases, like you weren’t completely head over heels for him to the point where you’d gone out of your way to spend your saturday night decorating his apartment for Christmas to try and make his holiday season a little more enjoyable.
This man had to be the most oblivious profiler in the FBI; And it made you want to cup those beautiful cheeks in your hands and kiss those beautiful pink lips until his beautiful brain understood just how wrong he was.
Spencer clears his throat at his own awkwardness as he tries to move the topic of conversation away from his love life, his eyes flickering around the main room of his apartment. “I uh, you did a good job with the decor,”
“Thank you, thank you,” You oblige to his change of subject with a dramatic bow, fearing you’ll implode if you think about how obliviously attractive Spencer is any longer.
“Now we can watch a movie,” You move the, now thankfully much lighter, box off of the coffee table to give a clear view of the television from Spencer’s couch. “A Christmas movie.”
Spencer’s eyes widen a little bit as you mention watching a Christmas movie. “Is that something I can opt out of?”
“No?” You give him a look of mock offense as you push him over to the couch to sit down, and he reluctantly obliges with a sigh. “It’s a movie night, and it’s the middle of December, we have to watch a Christmas movie, it’s a rite of passage,”
He’s never been a fan of any of the cliche christmas movies, even if they’re supposed to be cheesy and fun.
He’s willing to compromise, though. For your sake.
“Can it at least be a good Christmas movie and not something that has a plot that was clearly written by the Hallmark Channel?”
“We’re watching the Grinch duh,” You furrow your expression as if the movie choice is obvious, handing him the remote as you grab your satchel bag and hurry off into the kitchen.
“I will be back in like two minutes, don’t even think of trying to escape from this,”
“I’m not going anywhere don’t worry,” Spencer sighs with a soft smile as he watches you disappear around the corner. Even if the Grinch movie doesn’t sound like his cup of tea, he’d do just about anything for you.
He scours through Netflix as you busy yourself in his kitchen, and you waltz back out a few minutes later with a small tray housing two steaming mugs and two plastic wrapped candy canes, placing it on the coffee table in front of him. “Et voila,”
Spencer doesn’t have to ask to know what the mugs hold, he can smell the chocolate from his seat. “Alrighty then, christmas movie time it is,”
Spencer watches as you make yourself comfortable next to him, crossing your legs and draping a throw blanket from the arm of the couch over your legs, and it’s hard not to look at you and think about how comfortable it would be for him to lie with his head in his lap with your hands running through his hair. The idea makes him all flustered, and he hides his flush behind his mug as he takes a sip of his drink.
“You’re sure that we can’t just watch Doctor Who like we were supposed to?”
All it takes is a small slump of your shoulders at his question and Spencer’s resolve quickly melts like snow in the sun.
“Alright, you win,” he sighs. “I’ll watch the Grinch.”
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to Spence,” You concede defeat at Spencer’s disinterest in watching the film. You’d already forced him into decorating and you were starting to feel guilty for forcing all of this onto him.
“No, no, it’s fine,” Spencer shakes his head softly at you. You’re sharing something that you enjoy with him, who is he to shut you down? Especially considering how many times he’d over shared about his own interests. “It’s only two hours,”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
“Why did the Grinch’s heart grow three sizes?” Spencer asks, his eyebrow raised as the credits play. “I don’t get it.”
“it’s a metaphor Spence, it doesn’t actually grow three sizes,”
“I know it’s not literally growing,” Spencer dead-pans. “I’m just wondering if there’s a reason why they put three specifically.” He seems to be looking for some deeper meaning in watching this movie, even if he’s not really engaged with it.
“Like is the Grinch’s heart growing meant to be a sign of him becoming a better person?”
“Yeah, because at the beginning it was two sizes too small, so if it grows three sizes, now he has a ‘big heart’ that’s full of love and empathy and all that stuff,”
Spencer’s gaze burns into you as you explain the metaphor to him. It’s not an ‘i’m trying to really understand this‘ gaze, but rather a ‘I’m engaging in something you enjoy and trying to understand and you’re so perfect when you talk’ gaze.
“Like, he’s realising ‘hey Christmas isn’t so bad when you have people who love and care about you to spend it with’,”
“Is that what Christmas is to you?” Spencer asks, his tone genuinely intrigued. “A way of spending time with the people you love?”
“Yeah-“ You give him a small nod, joined with a yawn as you stretch your arms up above your head. “That’s the whole point of Christmas,”
Spencer smiles warmly at you, although he’s not entirely sure whether it’s because of how you describe what Christmas means to you, or because when you stretch you scrunch up your nose like a cat would. “What now?”
“I should probably head home and stop bothering you with my overwhelming desire for christmas to just happen,” You let your arms fall back to your sides with a satisfied sigh, glancing at the grandfather clock Spencer has against his wall. 12:25. Looks like you spent longer decorating than you thought.
“It’s pretty late,”
“Yeah, it is,” Spencer follows your eyes over to the clock, hiding his subconscious disappointment over your inevitable departure as you retreat to his front door to put your shoes on.
“Let me escort you to your car,” he says quietly, following after you. “It’s dark outside.”
You chuckle softly at his offer, leaning your shoulder against his apartment door and lifting up your legs one at a time to tie your shoelaces. “You really don’t have to Spence it’s alright,”
“I want to,” His tone is soft, and you can’t help but notice that he cuts off his sentence abnormally quickly as if his words got stuck in his throat, and as you drop your left leg back down to the floor and turn your head to him, you notice he’s not looking at you, but above you.
Your eyes follow his up to what he’s looking at, catching on the mix of white and green fauna directly above your head.
Oh-
You’d royally screwed yourself over. God damn it. The night was going so well.
As you follow Spencer’s gaze, he immediately becomes distracted by the way your eyes are looking up at the mistletoe above you, glistening softly under the warm lighting in his apartment, and he almost implodes because god damn is your face gorgeous when you’re all flustered.
“Did you know that mistletoe was originally used by ancient celtic druids as a symbol of good luck to protect against evil spirits?”
There’s that distraction technique again. Although, his tangent is much more of a ramble as his eyes examine the mistletoe above the door as if it’s an exhibit in a museum.
“The Greeks also used mistletoe as a medicine for almost every ailment you can think of, from cramping to epilepsy and even poisonings. The custom of kissing underneath mistletoe wasn’t developed until the 1700s when victorians-“
“Spencer stop.”
He does ask you ask immediately, blinking at you as his eyes snap downwards towards your face, his expression a mix of hurt and embarrassment. “Oh- I- I’m sorry I didn’t-“
“Just-“ You put your hand up in front you effectively halting his attempt at an apology. “Stop speaking,”
“Right… I’m sorry…” Spencer purses his lips together, biting the inside of his cheek so hard he’s sure it’ll bleed.
He didn’t want to make the situation uncomfortable. That was quite literally the last thing he wanted to do. God, what was he thinking? Why did he let you hang that god damn plant above his door?
“I’ll- you-“ He takes a sharp breath in, closing his eyes for a second. “I’ll see you on Monda-“
He doesn’t have time to finish his sentence as you again stop him from speaking, but not with a raised hand or a verbal signal.
No. Instead, his words are ripped of the chance to be spoken by a tug on the collar of his t-shirt and a gentle pressure against his lips.
Spencer can’t help the widening of his eyes as your lips press against his, nor can he stop the gasp that escapes his mouth as you effectively swallow his apology with your lips.
Those soft, perfect lips that Spencer had been dreaming about for god knows how long.
No, he knows exactly how long. 1,472 days, 6 hours and 15 minutes.
The sharp tick of the grandfather clock cuts through the soft silence between you.
1,472 days, 6 hours and sixteen minutes.
He effectively melts in your affection, the feeling of your hands sliding into his hair at his temples, the subtle taste of mint on your lips from the candy cane you’d been eating whilst watching the movie.
And the heat, oh, the heat.
He never knew one person could be this hot, this warm.
Spencer’s hands go to your waist as he gently pulls you further against him, his eyelashes fluttering softly as they fall closed.
You're kissing the man of your dreams. And enjoying every second of it.
And the best part? He's enjoying it just as much.
“Merry Christmas Spencer…” Your words are little more than a whisper as you mumble them against his lips, your thumbs tracing slow lines in front of his ears.
Spencer can’t help but gasp softly at the weight of your words, and this time not because you’d caught him by surprise, but because he's completely lost in you.
He’s starting to understand the Grinch metaphor you were explaining to him earlier, although his heart doesn’t feel like it’s growing three times over. It feels as though it’s growing ten times over. A hundred times over. That it might burst out of his chest with just how much he was feeling in this moment.
"Merry Christmas..."
He whispers your name softly, barely able to get it out over the slight quiver in his breathing.
This was the best Christmas present he’d ever gotten.
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writingwithcolor · 2 years
Text
Thanksgiving/Day of Mourning
Last year, I made a very quick, basic post about thanksgiving: Indigenous Day of Mourning aka Thanksgiving. if you want the sources for what I’m about to say, check there.
This post will be about why you cannot just go “fuck the pilgrims, we deserve a harvest festival no matter the origin” or anything else that tries to sanitize the holiday.
You Are Still On Stolen Land
As a result, you are still actively profiting off the genocide the pilgrims committed.
I don’t care how educated about racial issues you profess you are. I don’t care how you behave the other 364 days of the year. If you try to distance yourself from the origins of Thanksgiving simply because it makes you uncomfortable to see the blood under the tablecloth, you’re not practised in sitting with actually being anti-racist. You know what to say, but you don’t practice what you preach.
You Are Eating Our Food
Pumpkins/squash, beans, turkey, cranberries, potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, pecans, maple syrup?
Those are all Native American foods that we taught you how to grow and harvest.
You wouldn’t have any of your traditional Thanksgiving foods without us. The ideal meal of Thanksgiving is ripped right from Indigenous practices and cannot be separated from it.
The fact that these foods have been taken out of Indigenous hands and appropriated by colonizers as the bounties they somehow deserve for landing here is a tragedy, and people need to remember where their food comes from and who had been growing it for thousands of years.
You Had So Much Because Of Massacre
Thanksgiving became an annual tradition after 700 Pequot men, women, children, and elders were killed, freeing up acres of land that colonizers promptly took over. The sheer amount of extra acreage that colonizers had because of their genocide contributed to the excess of food experienced during Thanksgiving. That land had been structured to support more people originally.
Colonizers had never, ever, deserved that much food. They were taking more than they needed, not leaving much behind for the animals that depended on a balance to be held with humans. They took far more than was needed, throwing the balance off in nature.
Maybe I’m reaching. But I think that if you suddenly had 700 less people in the area, after all of the growing and planting for the total population had been done, you’d have excess food? Or even before the growing, you’d have land set up to support 700, that I’d assume you’d still use, when you were a much smaller population?
Sit With Your Own Grief
If this makes you feel bad and that you shouldn’t celebrate Thanksgiving? Sit with that.
I’m not telling you that you have to give up Thanksgiving traditions. I’m telling you that you cannot divorce them from Indigenous people.
You are giving thanks for our massacre. You are giving thanks for stealing so much from us that you had this excess.
Yes, you can need a break; yes, you can need time with family and friends. None of this is inherently bad.
It’s not even bad to eat local food from Turtle Island! Part of having a sustainable diet is eating locally, in time with the seasons.
But remember, it is Indigenous people who first gave this to you—and then you stole far more than you ever needed from us, killing us to get what you felt you deserved.
Do not divorce Thanksgiving from Indigenous people for your own comfort.
We are still here. We must live with the aftermath of colonizers stealing from us every single day.
If you feel this way hearing about our history, imagine what we feel like living it.
Donate to a local org/Indigenous person this Thanksgiving
I (again) don’t have the spoons to compile a list of vetted charities, but look for local tribe language revival programs, COVID relief funds, and activism around the Indian Child Welfare Act currently in front of the Supreme Court.
Pay reparations for what you have taken, and remember. It is also Indigenous Day of Mourning.
Indigenous people, drop your links below.
~Lesya
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