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softxsuki · 1 year

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Hey han, i have an urgent request if you don’t mind. May I request mikey, Shinichiro, and Mitsuya with a ballerina girlfriend who is struggling with anorexia? As a dancer myself not only am I constantly comparing myself to the other girls in my class but I’ve been told by my dance teacher on a couple of occasions that I needed to lose weight, despite already being underweight. I’ve been in ballet since I was very little, but my ED only started when I hit my early teens and had just kept with me :( and sometimes it gets hard to keep dancing because I feel so dizzy and exhausted, but I still love dancing and refuse to quit

Mikey, Shinichiro, and Mitsuya (Separate) with Anorexic Ballerina Girlfriend

PLEASE DON'T READ IF MENTIONS OF EATING DISORDERS WILL DO YOU MORE HARM THAN GOOD. PLEASE

Pairings: Manjiro x Fem!Reader, Shinichiro x Fem!Reader, Mitsuya x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of anorexia, starving yourself, being thin, food, people saying you need to be thinner, poor health

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: In which they find out about your eating disorder and comfort you about it

[A/N: Hello <3 I never mind an urgent request. But can I just say, I really admire your resilience to want to continue dancing despite what you're going through. That's amazing. Hopefully these headcanons are comforting for you and perhaps give you some options to use moving forward! ily, you're beautiful <3]

Mikey:

Just wanna start off by saying this man is obsessed with you; k thanks for coming for my ted talk–i needed to get that off my chest

He’s always noticed you’ve been pretty thin, but he’d brush it off as you just having a faster metabolism or just naturally being a little thin–after all it doesn’t matter to him whether you were thin or chubby, he’d love you regardless

However, little sirens do go off in his head as you continue to get thinner and thinner over time

What alarms him even more are the bruises that appear on your skin

He’s on full fight mode, thinking someone is hurting you behind his back and he’s ready to use full violence on someone

But eventually he notices how you avoid food whenever you’re with him and he offers you something, you try to naturally shrug it off, claiming you’re not hungry…but what were the chances you were never hungry when you were with him?

He just very blatantly asks you about it; Mikey has no filter, as soon as something comes to his head, he’s going to verbally express it

As a commander of Toman, he’s very good at picking up on lies as well, so please be honest, it’s not like he’d judge you for it anyway

Mikey is so supportive of you being a ballerina, he’d never be caught watching ballet recitals before meeting you, but now he’d never miss one of your shows, showing up front and center to support you (perhaps a little too loudly)

Anyway, when he finds out that you’ve been starving yourself because of comments from your dance instructor that you need to lose weight, along with knowing you’ve been comparing yourself to your fellow dance mates, he’s fuming

Dark impulses who? They’re definitely popping out here

Mikey’s hands are rated E for everyone, and that includes your dance instructor, so hold him back because he’d really be in that class making an example of her o,o

One you manage to calm him down enough, he’d bring you into his arms

“I don’t see why you’d compare yourself to those other dancers. Whenever I watch your recitals, my eyes are always glued to you and only you. You’re captivating on the stage, Y/N. Those other girls can’t even begin to compare to you, because they’re not you. And as for that instructor of yours, I don’t get this obsession they have with being thin. You’re already thin enough, and she dares to say you need to get even thinner? Is she trying to kill you? Ignore her and keep doing what you’re doing. There is no weight limit to being a ballerina. They come in all shapes and sizes and they’re all just as talented. Expect for you, you’re my favorite ballerina”

Just Mikey going on and on about how perfect you are

Knowing that you were struggling and putting your life and health at risk just to dance felt outrageous to him

He knows how much you love to dance, but if you continue to get thinner, he feels he’d have no choice but to pull you away from it until you have a healthy relationship with food again and can mentally feel confident in yourself to the point where other’s words won’t allow you to harm yourself again

He’s just worried and wants the best for you

Losing you and seeing you struggling like this destroys him, and he wants to see to the people who made you like this, suffer

Shinichiro:

You opened up to this cutie towards the beginning of your relationship about your eating disorder, so he already knew about it and was already doing his best to help you through it

Being a ballerina, Shin was your biggest fan

He’d bring the whole gang over to see your recital and the other people in the crowd are just frighteningly glancing in their direction lol, but shin made sure to tell everyone to behave as to not put you in a bad situation, potentially getting you kicked out

Though one day he came to see you practice in class and he overheard your instructor telling you, you needed to lose more weight to look the part of a ballerina, and he steps in immediately

“Exactly who needs to lose weight here? Y/N is a phenomenal ballerina just the way she is. She looks graceful and elegant on stage. Outshining any other ballerina in this room” he fumes, not meaning to throw the other girls down, they were all great as well, but his main focus was on building you up now since he knows how detrimental her words could be for you and your eating disorder

“I’d suggest you watch your words carefully. I won’t warn you again”

Let’s just say your instructor never mentioned your weight again

Of course he wouldn’t actually do anything to harm your teacher, but words were pretty powerful as well and he was glad they proved effective

“Now, I don’t want to see you looking down on yourself. I know you have a bad relationship with food. I don’t expect your habits to change overnight, but I’m not letting you leave for practice until you’ve at least had some fruit and toast or something. You won’t be able to practice properly, or go without fainting without nutrient in your body”

He doesn’t care if he sounds like a mother nagging at her daughter, he wants the best for you and he knows you won’t give up dancing, he’d never ask that of you anyway, so he’d do his best to make sure you were at least well enough to make it through practice

He brings you a light soup or salad for lunch, anything that would get any kind of food in your system

Step by step he’d help you through it, ready to defend you again if anyone has any unnecessary comments to make

Spends all his time throwing compliments at you, you’re his one and only pretty girl after all

Mitsuya:

Mitsuya was always your safe place, so you never held back when it came to opening up to him about your deepest secrets and darkest thoughts

You had just been speaking about your class, and you found yourself comparing yourself to the other girls in your class, being more negative towards yourself, while praising your fellow ballerina’s and Mitsuya has no choice but to stop you in your tracks

“Woah woah woah, darling. The other girls in your ballet class are all talented, like you say, but so are you. Why does it sound like you’re disregarding your own beautiful qualities?” He’s sad to hear you talk badly about yourself. How could you not see how wonderful you were in his eyes?

“I can see how much you love ballet by the way you perform. You put your everything into it and it shows. You’re beautiful, always the most beautiful woman in the room. I wouldn't be shocked if everyone in the room couldn’t take their eyes off of you, so why can’t you see that as well?”

He was right. Of course he was right. You were used to feeling bad about yourself, mostly from the comments others made about your body. On the scale you were already underweight, yet it still wasn’t enough for your instructor

So much pressure was always placed on you to be the perfect ballerina, even if it meant starving yourself

Mitsuya also knew about your eating disorder, it was one of the few things you never told him, but it was obvious enough for him to find out on his own eventually

He never told you he knew though, he wanted you to tell you himself, he didn't want to scare you off or make you feel like he was trying to take control of your life for you

So he’s shocked when you finally mention it to him, feeling exhausted of hearing the same words from your teacher and guilty from keeping it from him, you tell him everything

Mitsuya is adamant that you find a new ballet class; surely not all dance instructors were obsessed with the weight of their students to the point that they can’t see what a disservice they’re doing to their health

How can a woman make it through a physically draining dance practice with zero nutrients in her body to keep her energized?

That’s his solution–find a new class

Scared to start new somewhere else? You’ll always make new friends, but wouldn’t it be better to do it in a safe, comforting environment with a teacher who actually cares for the healthy and well being of her students?

He’ll even help you research other ballet classes if you decide to take his advice

As for your anorexia, he’d also help you with that

Whether you’d like to seek professional help, so you can talk it out with a counselor as well or not, is up to you

He’s not here to force you to do anything, but he does gently encourage you to eat little portions of something light everyday

Little by little until you can recover your relationship with food again without feeling like you’ll blow up

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 08/28/2023

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phoebepheebsphibs · 3 months

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Yet another Lou Jitsu's Kids ramble because uhhhhh y'know wut just cuz

I had initially wanted the AU to have absolutely nothing to do with magic or ninjas or anything cool like that. The Foot Clan didn't exist. Draxum wasn't really evil, just grumpy. The boys were not ninjas at all, and in fact they all had like their own things going on! Raph worked as a stunt double, but was generally interested in law enforcement and wanted to go to the police academy when he was old enough. Donnie had pretty much skipped high school and was taking advanced college classes and I think even taught a few coding and computer courses himself, also earning his own money on a sweet side gig for fixing laptops and stuff. Leo was an up-and-coming actor, starring in some tv shows and even a few movies! Mikey took professional ballet and gymnastics and did some work as a dancer in music videos and a few stunts in Lou Jitsu movies with his dad.

I changed my mind about the "no cool ninjas or foot clan stuff". There are definitely ninjas and foot clans. The boys (plus April and Cassandra who works as a double-agent) formed a vigilante group called "The Mad Dogs". They were known as the Blue Ninja, Red Ninja, Orange Ninja, and Purple Ninja. When April joined their fights, she went by Yellow Ninja. They mostly fought against the Foot Clan and sometimes got mixed up with Big Mama, but never actually met her or saw her, so they never knew that their surrogate mom was actually a crime boss. There was this one other mysterious vigilante that they kind of had beef with, and I think he was called "the Splinter Ninja", but nobody knows who that is ooooh what a mystery!

So there was this unimportant plot where the only thing I wrote down was that Leo got shot in the shoulder but that definitely doesn’t matter for later

So a while ago I mentioned this one storyline where Leo got word of a cool festival in the mountains was made to take Mikey with him. On the way there, the two had a fight and Leo wished that Mikey wasn't his little brother. Before either of them could say anything about it, they got run off the road by a truck, knocking Leo out cold and sending Mikey spiraling over the cliff railing. While unconcious, Leo had a dream that Mikey was never in their family and went on a mad search for him or any evidence that he existed. Leo eventually woke up and discovered that Mikey had fallen down the side of the cliff they were driving on and he called 911 and the two were taken to the hospital and Mikey was in a coma for three days and then woke up and he and Leo made amends.

Anyways so immediately after they make up, Mikey tells Leo that he saw the truck that almost killed them both, and it was a delivery truck for the Foot Shack. So the boys realize that they meant to do that, but not only that, they knew they would be on that road at that time. So they try to figure out why and how... Donnie notices Leo keeps scratching at the wound in his shoulder and he checks it out and lo and behold he finds a tiny tracker. He quickly takes it out but realizes that the Foot Clan will be arriving any second to finish the job.

So the Foot Clan start to secretly invade and search the floors of the hospital for the tracker. The boys manage to defeat them all and keep their identities hidden, but one lone foot soldier finds Mikey sleeping in his room and searches through his stuff and finds the orange mask and puts two and two together. Fortunately Cass subdues him before he can do anything, but now they have a problem.

The Mad Dogs take the foot soldier to a secret hideout and interrogate him, but discover quickly that they are at a stalemate. The Foot solider knows who they all are now, and just as bad, he knows that Cass is a double-agent. They can't let him go, but they can't keep him prisoner. With no other choice, they tell their dad about everything they've been doing and the mess that they're in. Which is when SUPRISE SUPRISE, Yoshi Hamato reveals that he was the Splinter Ninja?! WHAT WHO SAW THAT COMING??? And he is a part of the Hamato Clan and that the Foot don't just have gangs in NYC, they're all over the world and the Hamato clans have been sanctioned all over as well! He tells them they can send the foot prisoner to a Hamato group that will know what to do with him. So they contact one of their cousins which I was gonna make 2012 Karai lol because EASTER EGGS AND REFERENCES EHEHE

Anyways I think that's it

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt au #tmnt au #rottmnt human au #tmnt human au #Lou Jitsu's kids #Lou Jitsu's kids au #human au #rambles #story wips #plots

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tvb0y · 1 month

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HI THERR ^^ my name is Austin or Reaper and I have a couple of TMNT Hcs. Some are the Rise version, others are the 2012 version.

First, for both versions, I think the turtles are heavily co-dependent on each other. Like HEAVILY. Let ONE turtle not come back home one night, everyone is freaking the hell out. ESPECIALLY IF IT’S MIKEY.

Another both versions HC, yk that whistle in Black Widow? The turtles have a certain calling system, kind of when teachers clap and you clap back in school. But it’s whistles and chirps. And it’s like silent communication in a way. Also, Master Splinter is definitely usually confused when he hears the whistles and chirps but has decided against saying anything.

Now, for 2012 HCs!

Ralph has major anger issues. Like completely destroying his room, cracking fingers to calm down and accidentally broke one, punching walls in the holes kind of anger issues.

Donnie is somehow the type who has such an unhealthy eating disorder (eating a lot one day and then not eating at all while designing an app another day) and it’s a miracle on how somehow, it hasn’t stamped his fighting abilities.

Leo paces in circles when he’s bored or practicing a new technique with his sword. Perfect circles if he’s anxious about something.

Mikey has an acrobatic fighting style (this goes for Rise and 2012).

Donnie used to have a rubix cube hyperfixation and literally has over 26 rubix cubes in there, 3x3, 2x2, 100x100, you name it. It’s not has much of a bigger hyperfixation now but you can still occasionally catch him fiddling and messing with one just to solve it again.

Ralph gets easily overstimulated with noise, especially if it’s insults and has a tendency to lash out as a defense mechanism when things or people get too loud.

Ralph is an avid smoker and probably an addict.

Mikey has completely mastered all forms of pencil spinning, every trick in the book and Donnie still gets jealous over it.

Ralphael “You didn’t eat again.” and Donatello “And you didn’t sleep again.”

Leo knows such useless but somehow important information? Like while Donnie knows only the important stuff, Leo knows the unconventional stuff. Like he knows how dismember a body but does not know how to cook a body.

Leo likes true crime podcasts and books about detectives.

Ralph and Casey do not argue. They spar. And whoever wins has successfully proved their point in whatever the argument was about and loser has to do what they say to fix whatever they were arguing about.

Have you seen the fights between Natasha Romanoff and The Winter Soldier? That’s usually them.

NOW RISE HCS!

Leo is a pathological liar, and is trying to not lie as much. He also has a tendency to copy trauma responses he sees on the tv shows Splinter puts on to get Splinter’s attention.

Leo would absolutely be a theatre kid.

Ralph likes hot chocolate and only smokes when he’s stressed or angry.

And also refers to his brothers as “his boys”.

Mikey commonly does ballet and is an aerialist. It helps a ton with his fighting style — seeing as both ballet dancers and aerialist have to be A. On point, B. Discipline and able to handle being pushed beyond their physical limits and C. Controlled and deadly.

Again, Donnie has disordered eating. But mostly just consumes drinks instead of actual nutrition and even has forgotten to eat at some points.

Ralphael “You didn’t eat again.” and Donatello “And you didn’t sleep again.” because YES.

Leo is, how could I say this? The brat of the family. Regularly finds loopholes to punishments he gets.

Mikey starts bouncing up and down when he’s excited. Pizza? He’s bouncing. Patrol? He’s bouncing. Movie night? He’s BOUNCING. Ralph, Donnie and Leo essentially have a damn ball for a brother.

Ralph is actually great with kids, especially younger babies. Surprisingly, they don’t seem all that afraid of him. It’s Donnie they’re afraid of.

Ralph still has horrible anger issues, but in a way that his head starts to hurt when he’s angry. In a way that his own anger-filled thoughts terrify him, in a way where he’ll take it out on himself instead of others.

Donnie paces when he’s ranting and paces in perfect circles when he’s figuring something out.

Donnie is the “genius and madness” trope and nope. I don’t wanna hear any criticism.

Donnie does jigsaw puzzles. And has learned Japanese just so he could understand the sub version of anime.

Leo is a writer but NOBODY knows that.

And yeah, that’s about it :p

DUDE THIS IS INSANE /Pos

I love all these Hcs and I especially the overstimulated by noise one with Raph, which I think would apply to ROTTMNT Raph too

TYSM FOR SPENDING YOUR TIME ON THIS AND TELLING ME!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY, THIS IS IMPRESSIVE :0

#Tvb0y answers #Tmnt HCs #ROTTMNT #tmnt 2012 #tmnt

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shinycrybaby · 1 year

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Hi Mati! I have a request :)

Could you do a tokyo rev x reader(any of the guys is fine) related to ballet? My hc is that out of all the guys mikey or rindou can do ballet (just a random one since I think those 2 are pretty flexible) Maybe some fluff with them fooling around in the studio with y/n or angst related to the dark side of ballet (eating disorders, body image issues, injuries etc)

Thanks!

TR Boys who ballet

Characters: Manjiro Sano, Haitani Rindou, Imaushi Wakasa, Inui Seishu

Genre/Tags: Fluff, A bit angsty on Rindou, Established relationship, Kinda no-gangs AU

Warnings: There might be some typos since I wrote this when I was sleepy, implied or referenced bullying on Rindou's part, (let me know if I missed something!)

A/N: I didn't actually expect to receive a request 😭 what I had in mind was something like headcanons but ig this is fine too.

Also, dear anon, I hope you don't mind. Since I'm not really that knowledgeable with ballet, I kind of just went over the general things or from what I know. I can't write or come up with something angsty for your suggestion like the body image one ajdjfjsksbc I really do hope you don't mind 🥹 and I hope you enjoy reading too!

Sano Manjiro / Mikey

He’s absolutely giving me vibes that he enrolled to a ballet class just for shits and giggles back when he was young, because you and Keisuke would tease him about being so good at the dojo that maybe he should start looking for other things to do.

But then Mikey actually took interest in it. And he actually slayed it.

You, Keisuke and Haruchiyo, along with the Sano family would watch him when he’s got recitals or performances. (Baji would cheer as if he’s watching a fight or something).

When you eventually got into a relationship with Mikey. Oh lawd. He would use his flexibility to his advantage.

You know that one meme where the person would kabedon someone but with their legs. IT’S MIKEY 😭

Mans legit would trap you in a corner with his perfect split, you don’t even know if you’d die of embarrassment or feel butterflies from it.

But when it’s serious time, he’d actually reserve a dance room for at least a few hours. He’d invite you to watch him practice, or give you a private performance that actually makes you smile at him with pride.

If you’re both in the mood for it, he’d even teach you a thing or two. Inviting you to stretch with him and then he’d be all up your personal space trying to teach you.

When you get some basics down, he’d lead you to dance with him, guiding you and then whispering to be careful with your feet because he knows how much it would hurt especially if you’re not a ballet dancer.

If you are, then it just makes things easier. It’s dance after dance with him. It’s kind of like your thing with Mikey. There’s nothing more intimate for the two of you than dancing closely to each other. Feeling each other’s movements and soul to the sound playing on the speakers

Haitani Rindou

I actually think that Rin would be the kind to do both gymnastics and ballet. (Of course, he’d still be doing some martial arts.)

We already know how flexible he is. Back then his teachers would actually be surprised, thinking he’s a natural at what he does. (He is)

Among the Haitani brothers, Rin is actually much quieter, or rather, reserved.

He’s confident, of course, but definitely quiet about it.

And since he’s quiet about some things, it took you quite some time to figure out that something was bothering your boyfriend, Rindou.

You’d soon find out his insecurities about being a male ballet dancer. All of which stemmed from his classmates at school.

Rindou would of course have fought back, but he’d promised you then to not get into any trouble, because he knows how worried you will be for him, not knowing that the situation now has made you double your worries for him, along with some anger thrown at the guys who even dared of saying bad things to him.

Your priority however will always be Rin, so after finding out about his insecurities and the stigma that he was facing at school, time with him were either spent with you reassuring him, or validating his feelings, or giving your all to make him feel loved and appreciated.

Rindou would never find out, but you and Ran had plotted and tracked down the guys who’d called him names and even dared of speaking bad about him. They learned a thing or two about ballet too.

Rindou of course started to feel light about your constant reassurance, and he was even surprised when you took some classes with him. Now there’s more time spent together with him, and he’s very happy to teach you about ballet.

He'd even use that time to impress you more. But you're already impressed with him, and absolutely in love from the very start.

Imaushi Wakasa

Another flexible boy. (We’ve all seen how this man literally turns into a fidget spinner with his perfect splits and spinning kicks wigjsjdhsjgi)

Oh, he’s proud. He doesn’t flaunt, but you’ll see it in his eyes how proud he is to be a ballet dancer.

He’d take you shopping for shoes or tights when he needs to replace the worn-out ones.

This man will legit lecture you about the best kind of shoes to wear for ballet. If you have no idea about this kind of stuff, you just give your all to listen to him, because you might pick a thing or two when picking out a gift for him in the future.

When he’s being mocked for being a male ballerina, he won’t hesitate knocking the person down their high horse. If the person doesn’t stop, he might even kick them straight to the face (with grace) — if this happens, please stop him, because we don’t want him potentially going to jail.

Like Mikey and Rindou, Waka would teach you if you’re down to learning at least some basic. He absolutely loves being close to you, so even if you don’t want to learn, he doesn’t mind. He’d instead waltz with you, because again, he loves being close to you.

And on that note, when he has to practice, either for a performance or not, he’d ask you to help him with his stretching.

When he’s got shows, he reserves tickets for you and you don’t miss one of his performances. Of course, you love every second of it, just to watch him in his element. All grace and beauty, that pride wells in your heart whenever you see him on stage.

Inui Seishu

Another beauty and grace.

Please he’s so perfect. 😭 if he rocked and slayed those heels, he wears then he'd be slaying ballet as well. I just know it.

He doesn’t care about other’s opinion with regards to his choice of hobbies. In fact, he'd rub it in their face nonchalantly that he’d achieved more than they ever could.

You, alongside Koko, would also rub it in the haters faces that Inupi is so much more better than them. In the most derogatory way that had others looking down in shame because you guys are right.

Inupi, like Mikey, uses his skills to his advantage when it comes to you. Let’s not ignore the fact that Inupi can be very cheeky if he so pleases.

Those times definitely surface when it’s just you two.

When he’s practicing or just stretching and warming up, he’ll shamelessly look at you through the mirror while you’re on the other side of the room. He’ll give you “that” look that had you melting into a puddle, all the while he’d grin lazily while doing his splits.

If ever Inupi feels some kind of insecurity with himself, you’d quickly notice from how his dancing becomes different. It’s either stiff, or there’s a distant look on his face.

When this happens, you’d ask him to take a break from dancing, and just listen to him speak all about how he feels.

These slumps usually happen when he’s got a big performance ahead of him, so in times like these, you do nothing but be there for him, until he’s ready and he’s back to his old self. All grace and beauty and that hint of cheekiness he shows around you.

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers drabbles #sano manjiro x reader #haitani rindou x reader #imaushi wakasa x reader #inui seishu x reader #mikey x reader #rindou x reader #wakasa x reader #inupi x reader #mikey drabble #rindou drabble #wakasa drabble #inupi drabble #mikey imagines #rindou imagines #wakasa imagines #inupi imagines

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beaokkai · 11 months

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There needs to be more ballet dancer tot mikey

#rottmnt #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt fanart #michelangelo hamato #mikey tmnt #tmnt michelangelo #save rise of the tmnt #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt

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tangledinink · 1 year

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Chapter Nine of I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? is up!!! With Donnie's help, Mikey makes some progress in his Hamato Ghost mission... read it on ao3 or below the cut!

[ prev ]

"Daddy! Daddy, look!"

Mikey was aware, dimly, that this was a memory. He could see that this excited child, racing to throw himself into his father's waiting arms, was just a younger version of himself. And though that was him, tiny and still new in the world, he watched the scene from above as a passive observer, floating above it all. For some reason, it didn't bother him. It didn't even seem strange.

"Watch! Watch what I learned how to do in class today!" His child self happily demanded, backing up out of his father's embrace, throwing his bag down and to the side. Once he was a suitable enough distance back, he wrinkled his nose with concentration as he moved into third position, the sides of his feet carefully pressed together and his arms held gently to the side. Mikey smiled a tiny bit from up above. How old had he been here? Maybe five?

After a moment of wavering, he moved, hopping across the floor in order to shift into a leap, his legs kicking out high, nearly parallel to each other, before gravity brought him back down and he landed neatly on the ground. And maybe this was kind of conceited, somehow, because he was watching himself, but even Mikey had been a little bit impressed. It wasn't polished by any means, but that was really good for a little kid. He had been told his whole life, ever since he started lessons, just how talented of a dancer he was. How wonderful he was at ballet, what a natural he was, blah blah blah. He was realizing now that hearing things like that was a very different experience than actually observing from an outside perspective.

He felt a dash of pride. But it was a shadow compared to his father. He could see from here that he was just beaming.

"Wow, Orange! Very impressive!" He praised, and the child practically squealed in response, grinning so wide that even Mikey’s cheeks hurt just from watching. Radiating sunshine. Warm.

"It's a Grand Jetty!" He announced proudly, and Mikey laughed. That was most certainly not the correct pronunciation. "It's just like the kicking we learned at the dojo, Daddy! Right!? That's why I'm so good at it," he declared, almost smugly, puffing out his chest a bit. "Because you taught me how to do it first!"

"Ah, yes," his father hummed, stroking his chin dramatically. "It must be my incredible teaching that makes you so talented! Yes, this makes perfect sense. I will accept full credit," he teased, and his son huffed loudly.

"Daddy! That's only part of why," he protested, grabbing onto his arms to kind of shake him a little, hanging onto his sleeve. His dad laughed.

"Okay, okay. I suppose I might be able to share credit. How about fifty-fifty?"

"Daddddddyyyy!"

"Sixty-forty?"

Mikey laughed. Both of them. Past and present; the memory and the dream. Because that's what this was, right? He wished he could get closer. He wished he could move and join them. He wanted to hang off of his dad's arm, too, to be close and laugh with him, instead of just watching from above. But he could never move.

He was only an observer. Because this was a dream. Wasn't it?

Mikey woke up.

He was starting to get used to the physically jarring re-entries into reality, as he could only assume that he had been floating up until a few moments ago... again. This had become a pattern now.

It had been eight days since they had last seen their father. But every night, he dreamt of him. At first, they were just dreams, just hodgepodge mixtures of memories and thoughts and feelings, all stitched together in an odd fragmented quilt, the way dreams usually were. The way his dreams always were. Strange and not meant to be navigated, just experienced. But the more time passed, and the harder they all pushed, clawing desperately and continually forward to try to find a way to reunite their family, the more the dreams shifted.

Every time now, they were memories. Flashes of his past-- some fuzzy and far off, echoing, but others in shocking clarity, so real and bright that he swore he was actually there. Most of these things he hadn't even thought about in years. He hadn't remembered showing his dad his Grand Jeté before now, the memory long buried and lost in his subconscious beneath mountains of time, like a crocus under snow. But he remembered it now. God, how many other things had he forgotten?

In every single dream, he was watching from up above, his father trapped down below him, reliving the past. He saw himself show off his ballet moves. He watched Dad refereeing their first ever ‘Lair Games.’ He recalled his father teaching him how to make rice. More than anything else, over and over and over again, he remembered Dad teaching them all martial arts, him and all three of his brothers together. And in every dream, Mikey always wanted to move closer, to reach out and grab him, but he never could. He could never get to him. So he always just watched, and he would see things that he had never noticed before. Now, he could see the way Dad's eyes glowed with pride whenever he complimented them, because he always meant it. He noticed how his brows always crinkled in the middle to form a crease whenever he was worried, the same way Raph's did. He saw how his body would dip with satisfied exhaustion in quiet moments.

Mikey laid silently in his bed, flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. The glow-in-the-dark star stickers he had put up there when he was four stared back at him. Or rather, that his father had put there on his behalf. His throat felt tight. He wondered when he was going to get used to waking up like this. He wondered if the grief was ever going to get easier. Because every night when he woke up it hit him like a goddamn train all over again.

He lingered for a minute or so, fighting off tears, and then laid there for a few more minutes, sobbing softly, his pillow shoved up against his face. And once he got through the worst of it, he rolled out of bed, dragging himself up to his feet and slowly plodding into the hall, wiping leftover tears from his face as he went.

This wasn't really a common occurrence, especially now that he was older, but in the event that he woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream or a stomachache, he always took turns with which family member he would go find and climb into bed with. He could get something different from each of them. Dad would make him tea and lay with him until he fell asleep again. Leo would find some way to make him laugh and would play with the beads in his hair until he got drowsy. Donnie could always explain away anything that had scared him, always had tricks and solutions to offer. And from Raph, he could without fail find firm hugs and promises of protection that he knew he could count on.

He was heading in the direction of his oldest brother's room, his bare feet padding quietly against the hardwood, and was surprised to hear soft voices filtering from inside. He paused in his approach, leaning against the wall, focusing only on listening to the hushed conversation that just barely snuck through the cracked door.

"--trying." He only heard the tail end of whatever April was saying.

"I know they're tryin'. That's not the problem," Raph mumbled in reply, his voice sounding strained. "It's not like I blame them! I just. I just wish we had-- any kind of a lead. It feels like we're not gettin’ anywhere. All we're doing is finding more questions, and none of it’s helpin’ us find Dad! I mean, what am I supposed to do with this whole Hamato Destiny thing?"

"Hey, look. We'll figure it out, okay? It's not all up to you. Like, I know the whole... Hamato thing is, like... a lot, but... "

"It's not just that, April! I just. I don't know. I feel like it's… it’s dangerous. You heard some of the things that ghost guy was sayin'! I mean. Why else would Dad not tell us about any of it? It just... it just gives Raph a real bad feeling," Mikey could hear the hiss in his voice. He could almost see Raph's brow furrow into a crease. "I just. I dunno. I wish we never found the dumb thing," he laughed bitterly. "Isn't that crazy? I mean. Finding out you've got a magical destiny and powers or whatever the hell should be excitin', right? It should be cool."

"Maybe if you're in a book," April mumbled, and Mikey heard the bed creak, like her weight was shifting, like she was leaning into Raph, or wrapping her arms around him. "Look. Whatever happens, we're gonna figure it out, okay? But it's the middle of the night. You've gotta rest, dude! You're just as bad as Leo and Donnie. You guys have got to sleep."

"... I dunno..."

"We'll work on this more first thing tomorrow, okay? I'm sure we can figure something out. Right now, sleep. Big sister’s orders. Go the fuck to sleep."

There was more movement, more shifting, most likely April chasing Raph under the covers, but Mikey had kind of stopped listening. His chest felt kind of fluttery.

It probably wouldn't be very helpful if he walked in there now, huh? April was trying to get Raph to actually rest. He would just interrupt and worry Raph if he went barging in. And he was already, clearly, anxious enough on his own... And Leo and Donnie weren't sleeping very well either, were they? He already knew that. They all knew that. And they were all anxious.

So that probably wouldn't be a very good idea, either, would it? To go and wake them up and make them worry about him on top of everything else. To go and demand comfort from them when they probably needed it themselves.

And Dad wasn't home. So...

As quietly as he came, Mikey turned around, retreating back to his own room.

---

Leo used to be grateful every time he managed to fall asleep at night. But he was quickly becoming sick of it.

Move. Move. MOVE!--

And he must have, because he woke up with a start, his entire body jumping slightly. Same dream twice in a row? He wasn’t a huge fan, quite frankly, and he was really hoped this wasn’t the start of a pattern because it was pissing him the fuck off.

Leo groaned softly, his body feeling uncharacteristically sore as he rolled over onto his side. Please be in my own room. Please be in my own room. Please be in my own room--

“Leo?”

Nope.

Leo scrubbed at his face with his hands before slowly turning his head, glancing to the side. April and Raph were both staring at him as if he had just turned green. Leo thought quietly to himself that they could almost blend in with the eight-trillion stuffed animals Raph had piled up on his bed with how they were frozen, staring at him.

"Hey guys," he greeted as casually as possible, curling his lips back in a forced smile.

"Where the hell did you come from?!" Raph yelped, his eyes darting back and forth between his brother and the door, the door and his brother. "You just-- but we just-- I didn't see--"

"I don't know, okay!? I dunno!" Leo sighed loudly, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "I was asleep about five seconds ago, I have no idea how I got here. I thought maybe I was sleepwalking."

"Sleep ninja-ing, more like!" Raph gawked. "How did you get in here without us seein’ or hearin’ you? I mean. I didn't-- I didn't even see the door open, you just--"

"Okay, uhm," April bit her lower lip, rolling to flop down on her stomach on Raph's bed, propped up on her elbow. "Look, you guys know I hate to be the one to suggest magic Hamato powers, buutttt..."

"I really don't wanna talk about it," Leo grumbled, slowly sitting up and rolling his shoulders.

"Ooh, wait!" April gasped. "This is totally how you ended up in Mikey's room last night, isn't it?!"

"Well--"

"Ooh, and then you got on his ass about floating? He is gonna be pissed--"

"Do not tell him!"

"You sure you're alright?" Raph questioned, and Leo could just hear the worry in his voice. Ugh, this was so not his goal, and so not what he needed right now...

"I'm fine," Leo insisted. "Seriously. It's not a big deal. I'm not hurt. I didn't even leave the house! Sooooo, sorry for barging in, my bad, now, uh, I'm just gonna..."

"Leo," April said, and Leo whined a bit, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling in quiet despair 'cause she was using her big-sister-voice. "Quit pretending like you're not just gonna end up sleeping here tonight and just c'mere already."

Ugh. Dammit. He didn't want to. I mean. He did. But also... He didn't... But...

"Fine," Leo grumbled, turning to slink over to Raph's bed, crawling in to join the other two. Luckily, Raph's bed was big enough that there was space for himself, his brother, his sister, all of Raph's Build-A-Bears, and then some. One of the perks of having a huge older brother, he supposed.

He hoped this wasn't gonna turn into a habit.

---

Trust was essential for any cohesive unit to work properly. Without trust, there would be no success, no forward momentum, no unit to begin with. Casey knew this perfectly well. She had known it for most of her life. And truly, she did trust her leaders. Over the many years, she had never once questioned their wisdom or the reasoning behind their decisions. She had always been happy to blindly follow, to obey, to leap at their command without thinking or seeing because they said to, and to trust that they would not send her anywhere without the wellbeing of the clan's future in mind. Even when they weren't thinking of hers.

But Baron Draxum? Casey did not trust Baron Draxum.

And she hated that she didn't! She wanted so desperately to have faith in the Foot Clan's glorious leaders and their newest plan to recover the Dark Armor. They had never led them wrong before, (mostly,) and she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but...

Something was off.

She couldn't quite pin this guy down. They brushed elbows rarely, and when they did, it wasn't as though she disliked him. She could appreciate a guy who knew what he wanted and pushed towards their goal without compromise, and she definitely found coffee runs to be much more enjoyable after he had tagged along that first time. Truly, she had been doing it all wrong. But there was just... something...

And she didn't know what. That was the worst part about it. It wasn't as simple as suspecting the newest recruit. She didn't feel, per se, that he would betray the Clan, or that he had ulterior motives, though she was sure that he did, but every time he was around, something in the back of her brain just twitched and wriggled, incessant and annoying and horridly persistent.

But she trusted her senseis. The plan, on paper, was quite good. Baron Draxum was a powerful criminal and wielder of devastating mystics. Each day they seemed to grow stronger. He had an enemy in the Hamato Clan, and of course, so did they. It made perfect sense that they would work together to gather the Dark Armor and bring the Foot Clan's Master back to power. He was an irreplaceable ally to the Foot and an essential part of their plan. He assisted in retrieving the scattered pieces of the armor. They assisted in providing lab equipment and spell components to restore his mystic powers. And they assisted each other in plotting the destruction of the Hamato bloodline, once and for all, and soon, they would strike.

So why did her gut twist like this when she was around him? She ground her teeth in frustration, squaring her shoulders and resisting the urge to glare at him from across their lair as he conversed with the clan's leaders. Was it jealousy? She had, admittedly, been training under the Foot Clan since she was ten, and there was a slight sting to watching him rapidly rise through the ranks above her, despite his short stint within their organization. But that wasn't it, either. Or at least, not all of it. Her eyes climbed upwards to the altar where the unfinished Dark Armor was displayed. Already, they were nearly halfway complete. Cassandra had never dreamed that they could make such rapid progress, but with Baron Draxum's aid, things were going, quite frankly, swimmingly.

She should be thrilled.

So what was it that they were missing?

---

He knew that he needed to get up.

He was fully aware. He was so deeply, desperately, nearly violently aware that he needed to get up. It was the morning. He had already been laying here for over an hour. His kids would be awake soon. They would be hungry. They would want food and attention. No, rather, need food and attention. He thought bleakly to himself that all they had were canned beans and jars of baby food right now, anyway. Lots and lots of canned beans and jarred baby food, at least, but not exactly the variety of nutrition a parent might hope for. He wondered if Raphael was old enough to work a can-opener. And then he thought to himself that Raphael was hardly even three, by his best calculations, so probably not.

You have to get up, he bade, scolding himself. You cannot keep laying here until they come to get you or cry. They are counting on you. Come on. Get up, you lazy, stupid rat! It is not even difficult. All you need to do is get out of bed. Remember when you used to wake up before the sun to go on runs? Remember when you used to begin training before the crack of dawn? What happened to that Yoshi?

God, he wished he knew. But that Yoshi wasn't here now. He grunted softly, turning just enough to bury his face in his pillow. He must have slept on and off for at least ten hours, but the exhaustion clung to his bones regardless. His stupid little rat bones. He wondered if that was ever going to go away. He wondered if this was a side-effect of the mutation, or if it was just a personal failing on his own part. Perhaps turning into a rat would shorten his lifespan. Perhaps, any day now, he would pass away from old age. He certainly felt old. The thought might have given him some comfort if it weren't for the four toddlers relying on him in their entirety for survival, sleeping soundly just across the room. If you could call the space they occupied 'rooms' at all.

The wails of a child, which he immediately pinned as Mikey, split the thick, musty silence of the sewers, and Yoshi grit his teeth with frustration. He continued to lay in bed for another full minute before he got up to go and fetch him, and he resented himself for each and every one of those sixty seconds. What kind of person listens to a hungry child cry like that?

"I'm here. I am here, Orange," he did his best to soothe as he shuffled his way around the corner, scooping the youngest from the cardboard box they slept in each night, filled with fluffy towels and shredded paper to make a ‘bed.’ Mikey still whined, but quieted a bit, clinging to his fur with chubby three-fingered hands, yanking himself up into his father’s arms.

Yoshi could admit that they were odd-looking children, with their scaled green skin and shelled backs, little claws tipping each finger. But it wasn't as if he didn't look quite odd as well. And though he had at first not been so sure about what exactly they were, or what to call them, as time had passed he had grown quite confident that they were, in fact, children, regardless of how they might look, or any turtleish qualities or habits they may have. Sometimes he even thought that they looked a bit like him, or perhaps acted a bit like him. But maybe that was just wishful thinking.

He had never imagined himself as a father before. Sure, there had been that one pregnancy scare with Crystal Yistal, but then it had just turned out to be a stomach bug and he had been more than happy to abandon any previous thoughts of raising a child.

He had definitely not imagined it like this.

With Mikey still on his hip, he got Purple and Blue up next, coaxing them out of their shared box, and then Red as well. He noted dimly that his biggest was rapidly outgrowing his current sleeping place, and he would have to get him something new soon. He kept meaning to find them something proper to sleep in besides literal boxes, but he had yet to manage to do so... Just another item on an endless list of to-do's that he never seemed to be able to get out from under. When they were still so tiny, small enough to fit in the palms of his hands, boxes had felt reasonable! But now that they were more akin to toddlers than turtles, it felt less appropriate.

They were children. Surely he could figure out something better than this… one of these days.

He slowly herded the group to the 'kitchen,' as he referred to it in his head, busying himself with preparing breakfast for the four. The area they occupied was not very big, only consisting of a few tunnels. There were more, sure, but Yoshi made it a point not to allow his children into any space that he wasn't confident was safe. He knew that they were too cramped, and it was not enough room for four growing children, and really, he was meaning to address it. He had every intention of taking the time to clear more space of any potential hazards so they could have a bit more room to run around, perhaps find some sort of proper furniture if he could, some more toys or decorations of some kind, he just...

Hadn't gotten to it yet.

Maybe the next time we go out to find more food, he thought wearily, doling out meals to his children who were old enough to eat on their own, and feeding those who weren't, balancing Mikey on his lap. He wasn't especially hungry if he was being honest, and skipping meals meant what food he could procure lasted longer, so he figured it was basically a win-win. He had gotten better and better at obtaining resources for them as the months had gone by, but it was still difficult on a bad day. Things would wax and wane now. There were times when he would suddenly feel as if his energy had returned, his motivation and drive renewed, and he would get as much done as he possibly could-- fixing things that needed to be fixed, finding supplies that he knew they needed, looking over anything of concern that needed to be addressed as quickly as he possibly could to take full advantage. But they never seemed to last as long as they needed to.

Most days were like this.

He was dimly aware of his children babbling things to him, occasionally making comments or asking questions to him, and he responded to them on autopilot. Yoshi still sometimes had a hard time understanding what Leo was saying. He would just nod along in these cases, and it usually worked well enough. Raph would translate if he wasn't getting it. He was only a bit better with his words, but he spoke much slower than Blue did.

“Daddy,”

“Yes, Blue.”

“Daddy!”

“I am listening.”

“... Purple?”

“Yes, Purple is here too. I see him. He’s sitting right next to you, see?”

Leo turned slightly to look at his brother, who was far more interested in breakfast than him, smiling contently and giving an enthusiastic nod now that he had re-confirmed his twin’s continued existence.

“Yeah!”

“Yes, and Red and Orange as well.”

“He little.”

“Yes, your brother is still very little, isn’t he?” He sighed.

“No,” Mikey mumbled. That was about the only word he knew so far besides “Dada,” but it was by far his favorite thing to say. Besides just screaming. Oh, Orange loved to hear himself. Yoshi was quite convinced that he often did it just for the joy of creating noise.

“Yeah! You are,” Leo insisted.

“No,” Mikey yelled this time, and Yoshi sighed.

“Ah, yes, but he will grow and get big, just like you and Purple and Red, won’t he?” He hummed. God, he knew they would. Hadn’t it just been yesterday that he could carry them all in one arm? They had been so tiny, and they had gotten big so fast. Especially Raph-- he was like a damn weed with how quickly he was shooting up. He almost wished they were still that small… It had certainly been much easier to keep track of them back then. It was a nightmare any time he had to venture out of the tunnels now, trying to keep four little turtle tots in tow and making sure no one went tottering off on their own or started touching things they weren’t meant to.

“I’m big,” Leo confirmed with a firm little nod, looking satisfied with this, turning his attention back to his breakfast. The rest of the meal was quieter, allowing Yoshi the time to focus on making sure everyone ate and got their fair share. Leo sometimes got distracted talking and didn’t eat, which he had to keep an eye on… But for at least a few blissful moments, things were calm and peaceful, with all his little boys gathered around him, munching on their breakfast. It wouldn’t last, however, naturally, and once Leo was done with his food, he quickly had a new focus.

"Daddy," Leo chirped excitedly, grabbing onto his dad's arm and shaking it. Breakfast was apparently over. "Play?!"

Oh god. His entire body ached with exhaustion at the simple thought.

"How about we watch a movie?" He said. Each time he suggested this alternative, his sons’ enthusiasm seemed to lessen, but they still agreed to it each time. Thank god. They didn't have a lot, (especially since their last 'home' was flooded out about five months back, at which time they had lost most of their possessions,) but the family had to their name a small, blocky television, a VHS tape player, and a dozen or so different titles to choose from. Splinter had figured out quite some time ago how to mess with the few breaker boxes down here until they could access electricity in a select few locations, but they still currently only had one single outlet that actually supplied any power. More often than not, this one functional plug powered their little television.

He selected a VHS at random to put on, settling down in the lawn chair they had in front of it, gathering all four of his children up in his lap. Oh lord, Raph was getting too big for this. Or he was getting too small. He had long suspected he was shrinking.

Admittedly, he knew that "The Mantis at Midnight" was not exactly age appropriate. But he didn't get to pick and choose which VHS tapes he could scrounge up, and he could only watch the one Scooby-Doo tape that they owned so many times. He recognized it as selfish on his part, but he was quite certain his brain would melt.

Next time, he told himself. Next time they ask to play, we will play. We will do something. I will not just put on another movie.

But even now, he didn't believe himself.

He was always doing that, wasn't he? Saying he would take care of things or change, and then never following through.

He had hoped that he would be able to find some alternative option, some way out of his deal before the deadline came. But of course, he hadn't. And now here he was.

The leg of his opponent passed no more than an inch before his eyes, Yoshi ducking down and out of the line of fire in just the nick of time. He grit his teeth, dancing quickly to the side and away from the next strike that he knew was coming, trying to allow himself the distance to anticipate the coming attacks and dodge those, too. For the second time in a rather short period of time, he wished desperately that he had not let his fitness routine fall to the wayside all these years. There were so many cramps. So, so many cramps.

He wasn't able to dodge the next blow, much to his frustration, only to block it, his own arm flying up to catch his opponent's foot and deflect. He took no real damage, but it still hurt. He was layered with so many bruises and bumps and scrapes from the past week that he was beginning to feel like an impasto painting, with nothing having the time to heal properly before new work was piled on top of it. He was sure Big Mama was thrilled with the reaction his debut had earned. The Nexus was packed each and every day. This demand, of course, meant that his performance schedule was quite full.

The spotted feline yokai flitting before him surged forward, leading with her chest as she sliced through his defenses and into the close-combat zone that she was best suited for, the best-suited position for her to finish things-- this would have been very bad news indeed if Yoshi had not already anticipated this. His knee thrust sharply upward to catch her jaw just as she moved in for the kill, a sharp crunch sounding between them, her head lurching back at an absolutely sickening angle. Yoshi inwardly winced. Not just because it hurt his knee, but because he knew that if it hurt his knee, it had to be much worse for her.

She crumpled to the ground. He quickly jumped backward, looking to put some distance between the two of them. It had been a solid blow, he knew, one that could and had ended many fights in the past, but he was not foolish enough to simply trust that she would go down and leave himself exposed. Not here. He knew much better than that.

There was a beat of silence. It hung heavy in the air for one, two, three seconds, with every single soul in the stadium waiting to see if she would get back up.

The referee above waved a red flag, and the entire Battle Nexus erupted into deafening cheers. Oh, thank god. He had been... a bit worried about this one.

He may be the undefeated champion, but he was not as young as he used to be. This challenger, in particular, had put up a wicked fight. He privately hoped that she would recover, but not well enough that he would have to face her again, and then felt awful for thinking such things. But if he were being perfectly honest with himself, he hadn't been so sure he would be able to win this fight.

His entire body wept in protest as he stood his ground, his shoulders squared and his back straight, trying to give an air of confidence. He resisted the urge to bend, to rest his hands on his knees and wince and inspect the damage before the next fight. He knew Big Mama didn't appreciate such behavior. Something about ratings and appearances.

And he didn’t like it. But if his sons' safety depended on his career as the reigning Battle Nexus champion, well, then...

He threw up his arms, and the crowd screamed in response, the roaring of cheers reaching a wild crescendo.

"Who's next?!"

---

"Look. I already said I don't wanna talk about the Hamato Destiny anymore," Mikey sighed deeply. "I already listened to you talk for, like... so long about this." Not that any of it made any real sense. What the heck was a Twilight Realm? Or a Kuroi Yōroi...? He really was trying to pay attention, but it was all just so... jumbled and weird and, uh. Honestly a lot. "I wanna talk about finding my Dad. That was the deal. I listen to you, and then you help me."

Ghost-Sensei, as they had taken to calling them, seemed a bit annoyed at being cut off, which only frustrated Mikey more.

"We have already explained that we are not aware of Hamato Yoshi's current location--"

"I know! I know that. You told us that. Many times," Mikey sighed, resisting the urge to snap. He usually had so much more patience than this, and he was trying really hard to get it together, this was just... really, really frustrating. And also the fifth time he had tried to talk to these guys. "And that's... fine. But. I mean. You guys have got to know something that can help us. Like... don't you know him? Is there anyone who would want to hurt him, or... do you know where they might take him? And can we use any of these... mystic power things to get in contact with him or something?"

Ghost shook their head. "The Hamato Clan has many enemies," they reported. "And many members of the Clan have been hunted over our history. But without proper training in the Hamato ways and the art of ninpo, you will not be able to contact him... especially given that his own training was never completed, and his ninpo remains locked. It would be incredibly difficult to accomplish. Assuming, of course, that he is still alive to begin with."

Mikey's head jerked slightly, his face flushing ruddy and dark.

"Don't say that!" He snapped. "Unless you know that he's dead and you know where we can find his body, then don't you dare say that!!! We're gonna find him!!! Whether or not you help!"

He grit his teeth, hunching his shoulders slightly.

"Why won't you help? If there's a way to mystically contact him, why won't you just teach me that?"

"This is a very advanced technique... That alone would take many months of training to learn, and to jump straight to such lessons while neglecting the basics that come before--"

"We can do the basics later! I promise we'll do the basics later! We don't have time right now!" Mikey pleaded. "I swear I can learn. Just teach me, and I'll figure it out! I know I'm not as smart as Leo or Donnie are, but you could teach them instead if you want! And then we'll learn whatever else you want, and do all the destiny stuff--"

"Michelangelo," the spirit leaned in closer. Mikey hated how empty their eyes always looked. "You have great potential. You have more connection to the mystic energies of the universe than any of your brothers do, and you have every opportunity to be a truly remarkable warrior indeed... but this does not change the reality of the situation. To be a Hamato is to sacrifice. And it is a terrible burden for us to bear," they sighed deeply. "But it is all a part of the great honor and destiny we share, which ties us all together. You are not like other people, Michaelangelo. You and your brothers were not put on this earth to live an easy life. None of us were. We do not exist for ourselves. We exist for the survival of the world."

Mikey felt like he was going to throw up. His body felt all shaky and numb, even though he was holding himself steady.

"I'm not asking for an easy life," he whispered. "I'm just asking for our Dad back. He's part of the world, too."

Ghost-Sensei pulled away, sighing deeply. "I know that this can be a difficult thing to accept," they said gently, in such a kind, soft tone that it made Mikey's chest twist with resentment. "Perhaps you need time to come to terms with this."

And just like that, Mikey was alone in the room.

The tears trickling down his freckled face became proper sobs soon enough, bending down to rest his head against his knees, his chest pressed across his thighs as he wept for a short while. He was getting pretty tired of crying about this, but it caught him by surprise every time. He was upset in a million different ways. He knew that these people knew more than they were letting on, he just knew it... and they wouldn't even let him try to learn these 'Hamato techniques.' Every time he talked to them, he just walked away with more questions than before, and with this trembling, hollow feeling occupying his skeleton.

Was this how Dad grew up? Taught that his life was something on loan to him-- not truly his, just something to trade away to a world that, seemingly, wasn't even aware of their sacrifice to begin with?

Because that sucked. Like... so much. And now they didn't even seem to care about him anymore.

I could learn, if you just gave me a chance, he thought bitterly. You said I have potential. But you won't even let me try...

He sighed deeply through his nose. Not only that... he had more connection to the 'mystic energies of the world' than the rest of his brothers. For some reason, this made Mikey frown. Once upon a time, if someone had told him something like this, he would have beamed, flipped his hair, and agreed that of course he did. His intuition was obviously off the charts, his creative finesse was something to be envied, and his therapist had been calling him an 'empath' since back before it was a cringe thing to say...

But now it just made his stomach flip-flop. He knew he wasn't the only one, but lately, he was questioning... everything. Every time they uncovered something new, it was like there was this little voice in his head that was wailing. It was, like... God. What else didn't he know? What else was he missing?

Frowning to himself, he quietly shut the chest again, shoving it back under their Dad's bed before getting to his feet and wandering out into the hall. He wasn't exactly sure where his feet were taking him at first, but he made his way up one flight of stairs, and then another, and eventually, he was knocking on Donnie's door, cautiously peeking his head inside.

When Donnie turned from his computer to face him, he seemed annoyed at first, but his expression softened quickly at the sight of his little brother.

"Hey Mikey," he hummed, kind of gesturing for him to come in, which he did. "Any luck with the ghosts?"

"Not really," Mikey admitted, frowning as he shut the door behind him, wrapping his arms around himself in a sad imitation of a hug as he trudged over to the other, plopping down on his bed to sit. "They don't want to tell me anything. They just wanna talk about old stories about evil creatures and the Twilight Zone and a bunch of other stuff I don't understand. But every time I try to talk to them about Dad, they shut me out."

Donnie sighed loudly, wrinkling his nose. "Yes. Well. I suppose we can't expect it to be easy..." they muttered. "Unfortunately, I'm not having the best luck myself. Everything I'm finding so far just seems... incomplete. Like I'm missing something, some sort of component..." He frowned, leaning over his desk, his cheek squished up against his palm. "I have all this data, but I have no idea how to make any of it work for us. I'm sure that there's some piece I'm missing that would make all this make sense, I just... I have no idea where it is. Or where to find it," he growled.

Mikey sighed a little, flopping down on his side, drawing his legs up to his chest. "Yeah," he muttered. "... I know that we have, like... mystic powers, or whatever. But I don't have any idea how any of it works, and Ghost-Sensei won't teach me. He keeps saying we have to learn 'the basics' first. But we don't have time for the basics," he whined softly. "If they gave me a chance, I know I could figure it out, I just..."

Donnie smiled a tiny bit, glancing over at the other. "You have always had an uncanny knack for those guessing games," he teased gently.

"I'm serious, Dee!" Mikey protested, bristling a bit. "I think I could. I mean. I know I could. I know that this kind of stuff isn't your thing, and I don't expect it to-- I mean--"

He paused, his sentence caught in his throat for just a moment before he turned suddenly to meet his brother’s eyes.

"Donnie, do you see colors?"

Donatello's brows pinched with confusion, his mouth wrinkling slightly. "Uh. Yeah. Of course I see colors. What does that have to do with anything?"

"No, not like that! I mean-- I mean, do you see colors on people? Like. Do you see people's colors? Like. What do you think my colors are?"

Donnie raised a suspicious brow, looking his brother up and down. "... Your colors? I mean... you have brown skin. And your hair is mostly black, except you bleached the tips... your shirt is black..."

"No," Mikey said sharply. "No, Dee, I'm orange."

"Well, I mean, yeah, your bandana is orange, and your pants are orange..."

"I'm not talking about clothes, Dee," Mikey insisted with a sigh. "I'm talking about me. About all of me. Like-- Like, I'm orange. And you're purple. Even if you weren't wearing any purple at all, you'd still be purple. Every time I look at you, I see that you're purple," he pressed. "The same way Dad is white, and April is green, and Carol is yellow. Everyone is totally different! Like-- like your purple and Mrs. Evanway’s purples are different, it’s all totally unique and, and--"

Mikey could feel Donnie's eyes boring into him. He frowned, curling up a bit tighter.

"Look, I know I always talk about, like, our life colors and stuff. And when I was little, I always just thought that that was just something that everyone saw! Especially 'cause Dad has the nicknames, so I just thought... And then eventually I realized that maybe it wasn't, and it might just be me. But any time I ever mentioned it people would act like I was joking or just ‘being Mikey’ or whatever, so I never really... pushed it. I just thought it was this weird thing I did and it didn't mean anything, so I never really talked about it that much, but now I, I dunno, with all this crazy mystic stuff and energies and all that these ghosts are talking about, it feels like, like maybe it might be real? Like, actually for-real real, and I know it sounds weird, and I know it's not your thing, and I know it's not gonna help us, but--"

He finally dared to look back up at his brother, only to be surprised to find Donnie busying himself with opening up a spreadsheet on one of his many computer monitors, hunching over their keyboard to type furiously for a moment.

"Uh... Donnie?"

"Okay," Donnie said, whipping back around to face him, his glasses nearly falling off his nose. "What color was the guy who took Dad?"

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#sorrywhatnowau #sorrywhatnow fic #tmnt #tmnt human au #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt fic #fanfic #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt human au

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