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traintrainingmontage · 7 months ago

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I saw some posts recently about "just let them be friends/mentor & mentee! They don't always have to be family units!!" That is absolutely true. However, the reason why I feel compelled to emphasize the found-family/sworn brotherhood of the Skarloey Railway is because their dynamic runs deeper than friendship and mentorship a lot of the time, in ways that I think are best expressed in a brotherhood-in-arms/sworn family kind of way.

First of all, the obvious example: Sir Handel and Peter Sam calling Duke "Granpuff." It's clearly a term of familial attachment, meant to be analogous to "Grandfather," or more likely, "Grandpa." The fact that three of the engines who come to make up the Skarloey Railway already have this sort of sworn family bond is quite notable; it indicates their interest and willingness to have those sorts of bonds and hierarchies in the first place. Duke isn't their friend, or even really their mentor; he's family. And more importantly, beloved family, as evidenced not just by the moniker but by Peter Sam's reaction throughout the story Duck and Dukes (Very Old Engines).

However, let's move beyond that to the more subtle examples. Skarloey and Rheneas are listed as brothers in the RWS ("[Edward] remembered Skarloey and his brother Rheneas, because..." [Four Little Engines]). That said, given the loose definitions of familial "biological" relationships that we've seen, they're more like cousins, in that they are from the same workshop and have the same designer/builder but are of two distinctly different builds (and neither are an iteration or variation of the other). Thus, the fact that Edward thinks of them as brothers means that someone, very likely the engines themselves, told him so, meaning they're also brothers by choice, a closer relationship than the term "cousins" implies. Now, while the two never specifically call each other "brother" in the RWS, there's a few moments where they're talked about in the context of friends: "But Rheneas was happiest of all in his own place that night, next to his friend Skarloey (Gallant Old Engine)." "We'd learned sense, and we've been firm friends ever since (Very Old Engines)." What's significant about this is that many siblings/relatives of similar ages don't get along as well as these two do, and in fact, they had a whole character growth arc about it. They are brothers, and take great pride in that, but are also friends, and equally proud of that fact, if not a little more so. Anybody with siblings knows that it can be difficult to consider yourselves friends in any meaningful way for a number of reasons, and the fact that these two do means that both their friendship and their brotherhood are choices that they consciously made about how they define their relationship. Brotherhood and friendship are not mutually exclusive, and often enrich each other when both are present.

So, let's move on to Sir Handel. After Skarloey pulls his train and gets the coaches in order, Sir Handel "is longing for Skarloey to come back. He thinks Skarloey is the best engine in the world" (Four Little Engines). High praise from an engine who'd called Skarloey "rubbish" earlier in the same story! But while this sort of interaction would normally lend itself to a mentor/mentee relationship--and I do think that relationship IS present--I think that Sir Handel and Skarloey's relationship is also best defined by something more brotherly. This is because mentor/mentee relationships imply a certain sense of distance backed by experience-based authority, in a similar vein to teacher/student relationships. Mentors and mentees, if that's the only defining relationship, very rarely allows for a peer relationship to develop later because the mentor/mentee divide is so foundational. No matter how accomplished Character X becomes, they tend to always think of their mentor, Character Y, as their mentor, even if they become peers on a social level. The relationship still feels very subordinate. The addition of something brotherly, however, allows a certain closeness to seep in, one that helps bridge that stark distance. Skarloey actually pranks Sir Handel twice, once with George and once with Culdee's story. (Not to mention that Rheneas gives him some passive-aggressive ribbing that causes him some embarrassment.) In both cases, it's for the purpose of checking his ego, but that's not really something widely associated with "mentor" behavior.

Besides that, though, the reason why I think a sworn brotherly bond feels appropriate is because Skarloey actually watches Sir Handel grow up and mature, and helps guide him as he does so. That's very "older brother" behavior to me; Skarloey is invested in Sir Handel's growth as a person, in a way that feels closer than friendship or mentorship necessarily imply, and is integral to that growth happening. When mentorship comes to an end, what will they be? Peers? Somewhat. Friends? Certainly. But sworn brothers, found family, feels more correct for how they act around each other: there's a certain informality and comfortableness that accompanies the respect that speaks more toward a family of choice dynamic--with mentorship, the respect tends to win out. With friendship, the informality often wins out. But a brotherly dynamic allows for both, in a way that feels natural.

Duncan and Skarloey have a vibe like this too. Skarloey actually calls Duncan "my engine" in Gallant Old Engine, which at worst, is analogous to "my friend". The fact that Duncan is anything that warrants a "my", the way one would say "my dear" or "my dude" or another such endearment, speaks to those bonds already being formed. (And yes, we sometimes use turns of phrase like "My ___" for people we don't know/don't know well to indicate strong disbelief or disagreement, but I don't get that vibe from Skarloey's words here. He's talking to Duncan from a place of care, and they're far from being strangers at this point in time.) I'm sure that Skarloey thinks Duncan's a piece of work at times, and he is, but Skarloey's also seen him apologize to Rusty and those two get along. Duncan's stubborn and has been known to be argumentative for the sake of it, but generally has a reason behind the things he does and the way he feels, and isn't too proud to change his opinion or apologize. Skarloey knows that, hence why he uses the story of Rheneas to illustrate his point, and lo and behold, Duncan does, in fact, admit that he was wrong. Again, mentor/mentee relationships bolstered by and that transition into found family dynamics are just what's needed to bring Duncan into the fold, such that by the time we get to the Chris Awdry stories, Duncan has mellowed out CONSIDERABLY.

(Small shout out to Peter Sam loving Skarloey's stories and asking to hear them. That's rather family-coded too.)

This isn't even to mention the fact that they all sleep in the same sheds, wake up together, and spend large amounts of time together in general, unlike most of the NWR engines. There are no branch lines. All (eventual) nine of them are always there, all together, all sharing the same house.

Even though a lot of my focus has been on Skarloey and his relationships with the younger engines, I do feel that many of the friendships between the younger engines has that found family dynamic at its base. There's no bad blood between any of them, not really. They tease each other, but once Duncan and Rusty make up, there's very little evidence that any of them have serious interpersonal issues that need to be addressed. And with the evidence that some of them have already decided to lean into those sworn family bonds, I think it makes sense that after a time, they all do.

It's true that family bonds are not always appropriate for all relationships in all scenarios, but in the case of the Skarloey Railway, the sworn/found family just hits right, at least to me.

Suddenly in the mood to talk about my Skarloey Railway relationship headcanons, so here they are! (This ties into my previous post on engine relationships, so please read that if anything seems confusing!)

-Skarloey is the Eldest. Rheneas and Duke are his brothers (Rheneas being his brother, Duke being his sworn brother/brother-in-arms, but to engines, the difference is often negligable). The other six engines, collectively, are his younger brothers, with Ivo Hugh and Fred being the youngest. Thus, he feels a lot of responsibility towards all of them. "Eldest" is often used as a title of respect/great endearment.

-Skarloey takes a lot of care in teaching Sir Handel the ropes. Sir Handel is the eldest of the younger brothers, meaning that he'll take over when Skarloey, Rheneas, and Duke finally run out of puff. Unlike Duke, who tends to coddle Sir Handel and Peter Sam somewhat, Skarloey and Sir Handel have a firm older brother/younger brother bond, and Sir Handel has never lost his respect for Skarloey. In fact, when he has a problem, he's more likely to go to Skarloey than Duke--he still cares about his granpuff very much, but he's not a glossy-painted new build anymore and Duke still treats him like that sometimes because he missed out on how much Sir Handel has matured over the years.

-Interestingly, Skarloey and Rheneas tend to go to Duke with problems or issues that they can't talk about with each other. Some of these things involve moments during the war, some involve hidden regrets... While the two brothers love each other dearly, there's certain things that are impossible to express, such as Rheneas feeling like he owes Skarloey a debt that he can never repay and Skarloey feeling like he has failed Rheneas in certain ways. Duke respects both of his new brothers-in-arms very much and appreciates the level of trust that they put in him. He also has to admit that it's kind of nice to be taken care of; the SR is run remarkably well, and they care for his well-being as more than a tool. He doesn't have to deal with a poorly-managed railway and trying to protect his granchuffs and all of that. He can lay his own burdens aside, and both Skarloey and Rheneas are more than happy to lend him a listening ear in turn.

-Much like Sir Handel, Duncan tends to get along best with Skarloey from an older/younger brother standpoint. He respects Skarloey a lot, and appreciates his "teaching style" over Rheneas, who tends to give lectures.

-Also interestingly, Rusty finds that they get along particularly well with Rheneas. Their personalities tend to be rather complementary, and Rusty can see just how much Rheneas cares for all of them and the railway as a whole beneath his sometimes-stern-yet-often-cheerful exterior. Rheneas shows Rusty all of the most beautiful, hidden-away spots on the line, and Rusty relishes in it.

-Peter Sam is close with all three of the older engines. He's started forming a mentor/mentee relationship with Ivo Hugh, who seems eager to learn.

-Sir Handel and Duncan have a rivals to friends relationship. They often bicker and clash, but over the years, the edges have smoothed out, and they have a friendly rivalry going. They push each other to do and be better, all while trading good-natured jabs.

-Sir Handel and Peter Sam are partners, as are Rusty and Duncan. Peter Sam and Rusty are very good at being the grounding and comforting presences that their partners need, although they aren't above telling them off if they're being ridiculous. The older engines love to see it and get a good laugh out of the younger engines' antics.

#ttte #ttte analysis #te talks trains #ttte skarloey #ttte rheneas #ttte sir handel #ttte peter sam #ttte rusty #ttte duncan #ttte duke

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onceupona-chaos · 4 years ago

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SJM setting up a forbidden romance

(And why I think ACOSF was written to set up Elriel)

This is my interpretation and obviously an Elriel post. So if that's not your cup of tea, be warned.

I made this post to basically organize my thoughts and then I decided to post it (lol). Here I talk why I think Elriel will be endgame based on my perspective that SJM already set up a lot of things that point to Elriel and a forbidden romance.

ACOSF is the first book of a new trilogy, which means SJM wrote it with an overarching plot in mind that we began to know in ACOSF. So whatever happens in ACOTAR5 is a direct consequence of the events in ACOSF.

For example, SJM won't kill Koschei and write another plot. She made her decisions when she was writing ACOSF and the overarching plot already started to be established.

I already made a post talking about the plot. I think Elain is the only character that can move the plot forward, because she's Made, therefore she can find the fourth trove and she has a connection with Koschei, which combined with how little we know about her and her powers makes her the perfect main character. But here I want to talk a little about how Sarah wrote ACOSF preparing Elain's character in terms of romance and how she set up a future forbidden romance.

At this point, it is canon that Elain is Azriel's secret, I'm not going to talk too much about, because you can check this amazing post here.

SJM structured the first book of the new trilogy around the ideia that something is deeply tormenting Azriel to the point he can't sleep and then we find out he has a secret. The bonus chapter made it canon: his secret is Elain, so there's no going back from that.

Just from the book, we know that there's something wrong with Elain and, whatever it is, she is hiding it.

Elain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie’s garden. Cassian didn’t exactly know why he suspected this wasn’t true. There had been some tightness in Elain’s face as she’d said it.

Alright, so the regular reader knows something is up with these two characters. (That alone is already a reason for the next book be about them, but moving on)

But when ACOSF is read with the perspective of a future forbidden romance in mind, we understand precisely why SJM needed us to know some very specific information.

Azriel's personality traits

SJM highlighted specific personality traits of our bat boy:

Az had a vicious competitive streak. It wasn’t boastful and arrogant, the way Cassian knew he himself was prone to be, or possessive and terrifying like Amren’s. No, it was quiet and cruel and utterly lethal. Cassian had lost track of how many games they’d played over the centuries, with one of them certain of a win, only for Az to reveal some master strategy. Or how many games had been reduced to only Rhys and Az left standing, battling it out over cards or chess until the middle of the night, when Cassian and Mor had given up and started drinking.

Sarah made a show to tell the reader the fact that Azriel is competitive, so she needs us to remember that.

That whole scene had one job: to emphasize that Azriel is competitive and strategist.

Now, if Azriel is giving up on Elain and moving on to another character, why bother to let the reader know he doesn't give up easily? If he is going to just give up on the only female that is making him get over his five hundred years passion, why bother to write a scene where he spares with Cassian only to tell the reader that?

Mostly important, why tell the reader that in countless times, Azriel seemed to be loosing, but he turned things around and won?

He's a strategist. Don't forget he planned his strategy for the snowball fight for a year.

“It seems you’ve forgotten how much of spying is waiting for the right moment. People don’t engage in their evil deeds when it’s convenient to you.”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “I stopped spying because it bored me to death. I don’t know how you put up with this all the time.”

“It suits me.” Azriel didn’t halt his sharpening, though shadows gathered around his feet.

When I read this for the first time, I honestly hadn't understood the meaning of the shadows gathering around his feet and it clearly had a deeper meaning.

But reading again, SJM used Cassian's character to emphasize that Azriel waits for the right moment all the time. Not only when he is spying. Being patient, calculating, persistent are arguably Azriel's strongest personality traits, at least the ones that are highlighted in ACOSF. Sarah is letting us know Azriel plays the long game and doesn't give up.

Every information SJM is giving us regarding Azriel (and Elain, more on her later) is essencial for a forbidden romance story. If you know what's going on with these characters, all pieces of information just... click together.

Elain's personality traits

This is a bit more complicated, mostly because Elain is passing through an inner change, which means being prepared for her arc.

However, SJM compared Elain to Azriel in ACOSF:

“Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row.” She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”

We already know from ACOMAF that Elain is good at secret-keeping. But here SJM not only reminded us that, but she compared Elain to Azriel in secret-keeping, emphasizing both of them are probably the best in secrecy among the IC.

Remember: these two characters are clearly hiding something in ACSF. It's not a coincidence that SJM compared them in this case.

She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friend.

SJM compared Elain's abilities to Azriel's (and his spies) not once, but twice. And if you take into consideration the previous books, it's not the first time she compares these two characters.

Both of them showed defiant behavior

Defiant: refusing to obey authority

Elain:

“What happened.”

When Rhys spoke like that, it was more of a command than a question.

Elain waved a hand in dismissal before flinging open the veranda doors and striding into the open air.

And of course, he have that fight with Nesta. Nesta isn't exactly authority, but she was described as "Elain's guardian", which means their relationship was at least a little hierarchical.

Azriel:

“No,” Feyre and Rhys said at the same time, in the same breath.

Azriel’s eyes shuttered. “I wasn’t asking for permission.”

“We take no risks,” Feyre said, voice flat with command. “Pull all your spies out.”

“Like hell I will.”

Honestly, is this the guy people are thinking that's going to give up on Elain because of Rhy???????

SJM deliberately let us know about them getting over their previous LI

I've seen a lot o people arguing that "they can't be endgame, because the first couple never is".

But... are we forgetting that they were in love with two different people before?

When Elain met Azriel she was deeply in love with Graysen, and he was still into Mor. The readers didn't even know about Mor sexuality then.

Until ACOFAS, we can see that both of them are not entirely over their LI yet.

Elain:

“I don’t want a mate. I don’t want a male.”

She wanted a human man.

Azriel:

Azriel choked on what I could have sworn was a laugh, his normally shadowed face lighting up as Mor bustled in.

Az, to his credit, gave Mor a smile of thanks, a blush creeping over his cheeks, his hazel eyes fixed on her. I looked away at the heat, the yearning that filled them.

However, we get to see that they are slowly getting closer. Azriel shows he's uncomfortable in spying on Lucien, Elain's throat bobbs at the sight of him, he seeks her out to wish happy Solstice, she gives him a present, they stay up past three in the morning talking and on and on.

Months go by. We already knew they are getting closer and then we have this:

Elain:

She knew Elain had given her maidenhead to Graysen a month before they’d been turned Fae. Elain had been glowing the next morning.

Elain cocked her head. Didn’t dissolve into the crying mess she usually became when Graysen came up.

Elain was glowing: she was in love, happy. She loved Graysen. And now she is getting over him. Not only that: SJM made sure to tell us she has had sex before (and enjoyed very much lol). Elain is clearly being prepared for her arc in terms of character development, plot and romance.

And Azriel:

Mor no longer sat beside Cassian, draped herself over him, and Azriel … those longing glances toward her had become few and far between. As if he’d given up. After five hundred years, he’d somehow given up.

Few and far between. It's a process for both of them to move on. At first they were friendly and then it became something more.

Azriel didn't wake up one day, realized that his brothers were mated to Elain's sisters and went: WAIT A MINUTE I WANT ONE. I would argue he showed interest in Elain since their first meet, just like Cassian showed interest in Nesta. However, Nesta and Cassian weren't in love for anyone else, differently from Elain and Azriel.

Also, Elain and Azriel are very much quieter in comparison, so... it makes sense that they needed more time to get closer and be romantic interested in each other.

But again: why bother to tell us both of them are moving on from their previous LI? Why tell us Azriel doesn't give up easily? Why tell us they are both good at keeping secrets and are hiding something?

SJM knew exactly what she was doing.

#pro elain #elriel #pro elriel

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daily-rayless · 3 years ago

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Horizon AU Part 1

Horizon AU Part 4

Anise

Anise has always known how to survive.

Sacred Songs is a large werak, just west of snowbound Ban-Ur, known for training shamans. Both of her parents are shamans – but minor, far too unimportant ever to convene in Malmstrom. Despite a nominal chieftain, the true leader of their werak is an influential shaman named Mohs, who has struggled all his life to feel the serenity of the Blue Light. The Derangement has made him feel inadequate, paranoid, and as more Banuk leave the faith, he holds on to his subordinate shamans with a rigid grip. In the case of Anise's parents, they remain so desperate to keep his approval that he commands almost every aspect of their lives.

Wanting to bolster his support, Mohs began insisting the children of the werak train as shamans, far earlier than they would be expected to. Anise's parents wanted her to freely choose, but they also feared angering Mohs, and for months they faltered, not wanting to pressure Anise, not wanting to leave Mohs' protection. Feeling herself being drawn into Mohs’ control, doubting the truth of the Blue Light, helpless to save her parents while she remained in the werak, Anise escaped south, down through the Cut. She knows little of the southlands, but she hopes that she first can find a place where she and her family can live peacefully – and then that she can somehow convince her parents to escape too. She knows for the first goal, she may need a good amount of capital and influence – and for the second, she might just need a miracle.

In Pitchcliff, she runs into the Nora Luke and the Oseram Guy. Luke's story of deliberately exiling himself from his homeland strikes a chord with her, but when she hears he's the nephew of a Carja lord, her focus sharpens. She may have heard little of the Carja, and none of it good, but they're said to be filthy rich. She's not exactly sure how to gain some of that wealth, and she doesn't know in her own heart how underhanded she's willing to be to get it, but she knows that attaching herself to Luke's group is the best place to start.

Luke's wounds have healed and he’s ready to continue his search for his twin brother. Guy, growing fonder of him, decides he might as well link up with some of the many Oseram in Meridian. As for Anise, another fighter on a journey is always a big help. They welcome her along.

You have to admit, Anise makes a really cute Banuk. She also prevails like no one's business, and that is the Banuk way.

Someone riding an enormous stuffed animal into battle doesn't fly in the Horizon-verse, but I thought using Anise's costume would be a good way to incorporate Tokunaga's design. She has sort of animal ears made from machine components (loosely based on the “bunny ears” you see on some Banuk npcs like Laulai). For a weapon, she's packing a miniaturized stormslinger, which gives her Horizon's equivalent of attack magic, though she's also willing to get close to an enemy and punch them. I did go back and forth some on her color scheme, which in Abyss is pink and white, but the Banuk emphasize blues so much. In the end, I gave her some pink patches on her coat, the overall effect being a little 1991 ski jacket, but I think it works. Anise hasn't truly begun shaman training, so she doesn't have any blue cables embedded into her skin. (But Mohs does. Mohs has a lot, I'm betting. He has a big tall furry hat, and he's one of those shamans who goes around without a shirt. No, I haven't drawn it. I doubt it could compare to whatever you’re imagining.)

Anise's name might work in Horizon with a bit of adjustment. We've yet to meet any tribes that use herb names, but phonetically it's such a simple name that you could easily imagine a character named Anis or Annis or something like that in any number of cultures. Banuk women tend to have names that end in a vowel, so I'd probably edit it further to Anisai or Anisa.

#anise tatlin #tales #tales of the abyss #horizon zero dawn #horizon au

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theravenclawrevolutionary · 4 years ago

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i'm not a frev expert. and you seem to be approchable enough and to have read enough. i had a question, or kind of a question. i just. i think that if robespierre wasn't against all the deaths by guillotine, he wouldn't have written that quote about virtue and terror. maybe i'm getting you wrong, or i'm not understanding the sense of that quote. could you explain?

Oh dang. I'm kinda surprised that people think I have any real authority on the subject of the Frev since I'm not an actual historian or anything and I'm surprised people find me approachable but of course I'll try my best for you Anon! And if anyone else has a better interpretation or anything else to add please, go ahead. I'll also try my best to keep it in as simple language as I can. But I digress.

⚠ This post is quite long so be prepared for that ⚠

First of all, Robespierre has more than one quote talking about terror and virtue. I'm assuming that you're thinking of the one that goes, "Terror is only justice: prompt, severe and inflexible; it is then an emanation of virtue; it is less a distinct principle than a natural consequence of the general principle of democracy, applied to the most pressing wants of the country." since that is the most common one. However, if you're talking about the one that goes "Terror is only justice: prompt, severe and inflexible; it is then an emanation of virtue; it is less a distinct principle than a natural consequence of the general principle of democracy, applied to the most pressing wants of the country." Let me know and I'll write about that one. The former is definitely a quote that, in my experience studying the Frev, gets misinterpreted from what it was originally meant to say fairly often.

To start with, it's very important to know what connotation and definition the words 'virtue' and 'terror' had in revolution-era France. Modern-day definitions may not be the same ones that were used in the past. According to my research, which of course isn't infallible, virtue was used to refer to someone's disposition and the way it would lead them to choose good over evil whereas where terror was seen simply as great fear. At the time there was no connotation of our modern-day terrorism to associate with the word. Nowadays we associate terror with terrorism which brings to mind murder, mindless destruction, oppression, and unchecked authority in which someone's ideals are forced upon large groups of people. Because of this many people assume that this is what Robespierre had in mind when he referenced terror when really he meant to describe the use of intimidation tactics to seize power from those who oppressed the lower class people and the general fear that was felt by the commoners.

Essentially the Reign of Terror meant 'a time period where everyone felt a sh*t load of Fear over all the bad stuff happening at once while the regular people try to overthrow the oppressive ruling class with intimidation tactics.' It does not mean 'a time period where loads of people were purposely committing widespread acts of terrorism to push their agendas'. And really, it was the only way to give everyone the chance to get rid of the old government, the monarchy, and allow a fair democracy that would be beneficial to the future of France to be built.

Next, it's important to know the context in which this quote was originally said. The speech where Robespierre said it took place on Feb 5th (?) of 1794. By this point, the revolution has been well underway for several long years and, as I said, a lot of sucky things are happening at the same time. The republic was in a war with a massive part of Europe and they're kinda getting curb-stomped. The country is in a state of civil war between the people that still supported the monarchy and all the different groups that had different views of how the country should be run. France's economy was complete sh*t too, so all this really radicalized the people and made the whole revolution situation so much worse than it already was.

At the time there were two factions, so to say, in the National Convention that were hella pissed at each other and really at odds. the Hébertists (who, to make things easy, wanted to escalate the Terror, go on the offensive with the military, and the overthrow and replace some of the existing government structures at the time) and the Dantonists (who wanted to sorta get rid of the revolutionary government, negotiate for peace in the war, and chill out on the whole Terror thing). And remember that these groups of people were very loose and like people in today's politic didn't agree with every stance their 'faction' took.

By the time Max made this speech, which was addressing these two groups, the situation between them was escalated big time. The Hébertists, with their views of 'more terror all over! That'll help us win everything,' or 'terror without virtue,' were pushing for a system that would quickly prove fatal. By contrast, the Dantonists with their, 'we just need to kinda chill and things will work out,' way of thinking or 'virtue without terror', would only lead to them (and the rest of the country) getting walked over by everyone else.

Throughout the entire speech, a speech I haven't recently read all the way through, Max comes back to the idea of terror and virtue, stressing that both are necessary. What I think he meant to do was talk about how the revolution couldn't survive without both terror (fear and the aggression that causes it) and virtue (the choice of good over evil) being applied. He's trying to explain to both groups that a little bit of both ideals is the most beneficial way to go about things. In reality, it has nothing to do with whether he personally believed in or advocated the death penalty/ the use of the guillotine. Instead, Robespierre is emphasizing that at that particular moment in time doing what is right and good (virtue) will most likely end up causing some bad things that will make people afraid for a while (terror).

What Robespierre is not saying is that terror, and by extension the violence that is causing the terror is virtuous. There are several easy-to-find sources that prove his personal disapproval of the death penalty from a moral standpoint. As a young lawyer in his hometown in Arras, he became physically ill at the idea of having one of his clients sentenced to death, even though he was found guilty of the crime he was on trial for. He made a speech agreeing with the abolition of the death penalty on May 30th of 1791 (?) arguing that there is no place for the death penalty in a civilized society because the law needs to be a model of what is good. He attempted to save the lives of Georges Danton and Camille Desmoulins, two friends/coworkers that he is commonly charged with sending to their deaths when the opposite is actually true. Additionally, he did the same with other more controversial people including the king's sister of all people, Madame Elisabeth. Even when voting for the death of the king he reiterates his own opinion on the death penalty saying, "For myself, I abhor the penalty of death that your law so liberally imposes, and I have neither love nor hatred for the King; it is only the crimes that I hate…. It is with regret that I utter this baneful truth…Louis must die in order that our country may live." Though it conflicts with his personal views, Robespierre makes the decision based on the needs of France as a country, something that many politicians need to relearn how to do today.

Long story short, he was not supporting the use of the guillotine with that quote, but rather trying to get two opposing factions to realize that both intimidation/fear and making sound, beneficial decisions would keep France on the right track to building a successful democracy for the people. Hopefully this helped and I explained it in a way that was easy for you to understand. If you ever have any more Frev related questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer or I'll send you in the direction of someone else more knowledgeable if I don't know.

Also, can someone tell me if I did a good job of explaining this? I can never tell if things I write about the Frev make sense to me because I actually know exactly what I mean to say so everyone else kinda goes along with it or if I actually say helpful things of substance. Thanks guys! And if anyone else knows more about the subject or if I've made a mistake please help me out.

~Dara

#french revolution #robespierre #frev #maximilien robespierre #history #history facts #historical quotes #politics #my idiot explanations #idk if i worded this right #or if i even explained it right #i hope i helped though

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jungleslang · 4 years ago

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I'm sorry, but I cannot understand people who say that Elriel shippers hate Lucien and want to cause him pain or are advocating for him to experience pain and ultimately be unhappy. I understand that the mating bond is a huge deal in fae culture, and that it's more difficult to deal with for the male than for the female. But shipping Elain with Azriel despite this does NOT mean that I hate him. The opposite is actually true. It literally makes zero sense.

I've seen this argument too many times throughout the years, and I saw it again today, so I've decided to address it. I'm going to discuss why Elriel doesn't equal Lucien being unhappy, as well as some Elriel and Vucien foreshadowing, and why this could lead to Lucien's happiness. Be aware that I'm obviously biased, and this is in no way meant to hate on Elucien or Elucien shippers. I'm just addressing this specific argument. All ships are valid, and we don't ship shame in this house. This is just my personal opinion, and I know that what I ship might not be endgame.

Also this is gonna be pretty long, don't say I didn't warn you.

I want to start off by saying that a big reason why I don't ship Elucien is honestly BECAUSE I love Lucien. Elain has consistently shown not even an ounce of interest in him for the past three books. Lucien himself also says that Elain was "thrown at him," while Jesminda, his past love, chose him. Elain has never used or shown her appreciation for any of the gifts Lucien gave her (which is her right). She has clearly stated that she does not want a mate. She also currently has feelings for Azriel, and it's been said that Elain "shrinks" in Lucien's presence, her newfound boldness suddenly gone. I'm sorry, but why would I want this for Lucien?? Why would I want Lucien to be with a woman who does not love him and currently has feelings for another male? A woman who literally shrivels up when he is near her? Lucien deserves to love and be loved wholeheartedly. And of course, Elain does, too.

Additionally, Lucien's words about Jesminda highlight that having a choice and being truly chosen are things that matter to him. And who are the people that Lucien has actively chosen to be with? Jurian and Vassa. Lucien is a centuries old fae male, with experience in multiple courts, and he's chosen to shack up with two humans in the human lands. That means something, and it shows that Vassa and Jurian are the people he feels comfortable with, the people he trusts, and most importantly, the people who make him feel wanted. Wanted enough to literally live with them after all of his trauma, after being barred from his home in the Spring Court by Tamlin, a person he loved cherished more than anyone else. And Jurian and Vassa have also chosen him.

As someone who absolutely loves Lucien, THIS is what I want for him. For him to be with people he chose and who in turn chose him. I want what's best for him, and so far, the text has indicated that Jurian and Vassa are what's best for him. I mean come on, the three of them literally created a name for themselves, the Band Of Exiles. The one time we saw Lucien actually laugh in ACOWAR was when he was with Vassa at the end. He blushes at the mention of her and has a "spark" in his eyes when he talks about her. Let's also not forget about this part in ACOFAS:

Lucien says that he's not living with them, the manor belongs to all of them. And even Feyre remarks how he's more comfortable around them, two humans, than people of his own race. I feel like this part is so overlooked. To me, it really demonstrates that Lucien has indeed found a home with these people, a home that belongs to all of them, and that he feels he truly does belong with them.

Additionally, it bothers me when people imply that rejecting the mating bond automatically equals unhappiness while accepting it guarantees love and happiness. Elain and Lucien rejecting their mating bond does not mean that Lucien is doomed to be unhappy and in pain for the rest of his life. And accepting it does not mean they'll be happy, either. We literally have proof of this in the books, and it comes in the form of Rhysand's parents. Rhys says that his parents were wrong for each other, and that his mother eventually came to hate his father, only staying with him because she was grateful to him for saving her wings. That is not a happy relationship.

Also, something that is one of the biggest hints toward Elriel for me, is the fact that every single mated couple we see in the books that actually ended up together had feelings for each other BEFORE the mating bond snapped into place. Rhys had feelings for Feyre while they were under the mountain, and Feyre fell in love with Rhys before she knew they were mates. Nessian's mating bond also didn't snap into place until after they already loved each other. And we also have Kallias and Viviane, who were in love before they discovered they were mates. These relationships all had solid foundations before the mate bond came came into play. Romantic feelings were established before the bond. For Elucien, this was not the case. Their mate bond snapped into the place the day they met each other, which directly mirrors Rhys' parents, whose mate bond snapped into place the moment they met and who also weren't right for each other. (Coincidence? I think not.)

We also have to remember that we have never been inside Lucien's head, with the exception of that one scene where Feyre infiltrates his mind while he's talking to Elain. That one glimpse alone mainly deals with the feelings he has for Elain due to his instincts because of the mate bond. It's also where he says Elain had been thrown at him. We don't actually know the extent of what he feels or doesn't feel for Elain. We don't know if he has romantic feelings for her outside of his instincts because of the bond, which we know is important based on what we discussed above. Yes, Lucien gives her gifts and clearly wants to get to know her, but we don't know whether he's just doing this out of obligation because the bond is so important in fae culture. Which might also be the reason Elain hasn't formally rejected him yet.

I think that there is a decent chance that this is the case based on what we've seen in the books. I also get the feeling that Lucien might be pursuing Elain out of obligation because Elain hasn't given him the time of day, and they've had no meaningful moments/conversations up until now. He doesn't really know her. How can you have feelings for someone you don't know and haven't spent any real time with? There are also these scenes from ACOFAS and ACOSF:

In ACOFAS, Feyre says that Lucien doesn't seem to have a real interest in bridging gap between him and Elain. In ACOSF, Cassian says the words "my mate" drip with discomfort when Lucien says them. This indicates that he's not so comfortable with calling Elain his mate / having her as his mate.

I also think this part is important because the level of comfort the characters have with each other is a distinguishing factor of the ships. Lucien is more comfortable around Vassa than Elain, while Elain is more comfortable around Azriel than Lucien.

As I stated before, this is the only time we see Lucien laughing in ACOWAR. Additionally, his shoulders are loose, indicating that he is not only comfortable but also relaxed, which is a rare thing for Lucien in the recent books with all the shit he has going on. In contrast, there's always a tension underlying his and Elain's interactions. Based on the fact that Vassa is chatting with him "animatedly," I would say she's likely comfortable around him, too.

There are also these two passages from ACOMAF, which I'm sure every Elriel shipper already knows lol.

We can also see that Elain has been at least somewhat comfortable around Azriel from the start, even when she was afraid of the fae and engaged to a fae-hating man. She even engaged him in a genuine conversation about flying. These two excerpts also show that Elain is somewhat attuned to Azriel as well. She notes his body language and uses it to gauge the situation. This also indicates a certain level of trust in him. And this has only increased as the story progressed. He's content to just sit beside her in the garden, she tells him about her plans for the garden, and they stay up late talking to each other. Their interactions signify how at ease they are with each other, which I think is big thing for Azriel, who's always described as cold and filled with an icy rage. Rhys says it took Mor centuries to get Az to loosen up, but he eased up around Elain in a remarkably short amount of time for someone usually so closed-off.

So, the conclusion here is that Elucien is not the only ship that guarantees all characters' happiness as some people say. Lucien is completely capable of being happy and finding a home without Elain accepting the bond, and the evidence is in the books. The fact that Lucien actively chooses to live together with Jurian and Vassa, and that Elain has constantly chosen to be around Az while showing no interest in Lucien is the reason while I will always stan Vucien and Elriel over Elucien. It's all about choice for me, which is something that's also emphasized in the books and seems to be important for both Elain's and Lucien's arcs.

And all Elriel shippers absolutely don't hate Lucien. If I'm being honest, I actually like Lucien as a character more than Azriel. While I am a diehard Elriel stan and I adore Az, Lucien is a more interesting character to me. He was raised in the Autumn Court, lived in the Spring Court, and ended up becoming part of the Night Court, as well. Then we find out he's the heir to the Day Court, and now he lives in the human lands with Jurian and Vassa. He has connections to so many places, and yet struggles to belong. He was lost, and found a home with two other lost people. The Lost Queen Vassa, and a human who was resurrected in a world that moved on without him.

This is also why, in my opinion, Vucien / The Band of Exiles has so much more potential than Elucien. I don't want another story about mates ending up with each other. Give me the found family trope that is the Band of Exiles.

If you've made it through this whole thing, thank you. As always, I'd love to hear your opinions!

#elriel #vucien #lucien vanserra #azriel #vassa #jurian #elain x azriel #lucien x vassa #acosf #acomaf #acowar #acofas #anti elucien

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lucemferto · 4 years ago

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT TECHNOBLADE (or A Narrative Analysis of the Dream SMP Doomsday Event) - Script

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! I am planning on doing a big dumb, way too long analysis video on the Dream SMP which will – at my current pace – come out in five years. I am already way too late on this one.

Spoiler Alert for the Doomsday Event that took place on the 6th of January in the Dream SMP. Surely the worst thing to take place on the 6th of January 2021 … I’m sorry, what’s this about the Capitol?

In case you don’t watch the SMP and need context: The Dream SMP is a Minecraft Multiplayer Server, that, throughout the last year, has transformed from a normal Let’s Play to an ongoing new-media series streamed by multiple high-profile streamers such as Dream, TommyInnit or Technoblade. It comes complete with script – by which I mean loose bullet points – and story events. It has attracted a large fanbase specifically invested in the story and less so in the actual gameplay content. Like I said before, I will probably do a big video on the Dream SMP at some point in the future.

The storyline is long and complicated and trying to explain it all would take up the majority of the video and there are other channels who have already done a much better job than I could ever hope to do, so give them a watch. I’ll try to summarize all that is pertinent to what I will talk about in this video.

Okay, let’s speedrun this summary. Cue the music!

Major Players here are TommyInnit, a founder of the independent nation of L’Manburg, Technoblade, an anarchist who was deep in conflict with L’Manburg, Tubbo, Tommy’s best friend and current president of L’Manburg, and Dream, the ruler of the Kingdom of the Dream SMP (even though he is not the king, but we’re not going to get into that right now). Tommy had in the past been exiled by Tubbo for endangering L’Manburg’s shaky peace with the Dream SMP. Tommy had then teamed up with Technoblade, who was hellbent on destroying L’Manberg after some prior altercations – more on that later.

Tommy and Tubbo came into conflict during a festival set-up to celebrate the friendship between L’Manburg and the Dream SMP. After punching out their feelings, Tommy came to the realization that his friendship with Tubbo was more important than his vendetta against Dream and those who exiled him. Techno took that change of heart badly and teamed up with Dream to destroy L’Manburg … and that’s exactly what happened.

Techno and Dream, with little to no opposition, obliterated L’Manburg with no hope for recovery leaving its inhabitants stranded hopeless and alone.

… And that’s what you missed on Dream SMP!

Okay. So, usually I just put whatever thought slime drips out of my mouth hole into your subscription box. But then I asked myself: “Am I not taking this a largely improvised nonsense story from a bunch of 16–24-year-olds a little too seriously?”. And then I remembered. I’m a pretentious bitch. I made an 18-minute video explaining why the popular commentary YouTuber memeulous is secretly the time travelling Anti-Christ, REASON HAS NO SWAY OVER ME!

So, like the English Major drop-out that I am, I will present you with two theses, which I will then combine into one … supratheses! That word doesn’t exist, I just coined it, it’s mine! I am very smart!

[I know words, I have the best words!]

Thesis #1: The Fandom focuses too much on Character Analysis in Favour of Narrative Analysis

The Dream SMP is truly something special. It is uniquely singular in how it tells a story of this scope through its chosen medium. While there is an overarching script that lays out the plot points of the future, each of the 30+ streamers on the SMP are their own cameraman, director, writer and actor. You cannot watch “the Dream SMP” – if you attempted that, you would be 80 by the time you caught up to the Doomsday Event. You have to choose whom to watch. You have to choose your focal point character.

Because by the way the story is told and consumed – aka in such a compartmentalized fashion; you watch one streamer and get one character’s perspective – it has sort-of unintentionally conditioned fans to look at the SMP and its characters less as one coherent story with messages and themes and more as sports teams they can root for. You’re Team Techno or Team Tubbo or Team Tommy or Team JackManifoldTV (formerly known as Thunder1408) and every other side is in the wrong! It’s like Twilight for a decade old children’s game about virtual Lego!

Okay, I’m exaggerating, but the amount of discourse perpetuated by and revolving around so-called “apologists” – a terrible term that unfortunately has caught on – is really not something that I think is good for how we interact with the story of the Dream SMP.

The Dream SMP is discussed a lot on character-based level, which is, like I said before, hugely advantaged by the way the story is consumed by its audience. With traditional, visual media such as film for example, the audience can be made more aware of what messages the narrative might try to communicate on a narrative level without the need for an explicit narrator to tell you the moral.

As an example, in a movie you could have a smash-cut from the Butcher Army’s discussions about neutralizing the danger Technoblade poses to Techno being nice around villagers or taking care of animals. This would communicate on an extradiegetic level, that the Butcher Army is in the wrong with their assumptions. Alternatively, you could contrast Techno’s declarations that power corrupts and that Tubbo’s administration is cruel with Tubbo choosing not to punish Ranboo for his association with Techno – thus the narrative would communicate that Techno’s view of Tubbo and by extension the government is one-sided and not true to reality.

Stuff like that helps the viewer understanding a story holistically and manages to communicate stuff like themes and morals without having to solely rely on in-character logic and argumentation, which, as Ghostbur put it so eloquently, is comprised of a bunch of unreliable narrators.

Character analysis is great if we want dive deep, if we really want to give a character flavour and understand their motivations. It helps make the universe feel like it is alive, like it’s real. But – and this might be a shocker for you – it’s not real. It’s written. It is construction – and as such, in its construction, it has messages and themes and morals, intentionally or unintentionally.

By being so focused on specific characters and their individual journeys, viewpoints and motivation we really run the risk of not looking at the bigger picture and fail to see what the overarching narrative is actually communicating. And we may also fail to understand how characters might or might not fit into the overarching narrative.

Speaking of which …

Thesis #2: Technoblade experiences very little Meaningfultm Thematic Conflict

Okay, let’s talk about Technoblade. I’m sure I’m not going to get any hate for this one.

I want to preface by saying that I don’t watch Technoblade’s streams; I catch up though clip channels and summaries. I’m mainly watching Tommy, Tubbo and Quackity – which is honestly already more than I can handle – but I want to be clear that while I’ll try to be as even-handed as possible – like I explained previously – the way I consumed the storylines will undoubtedly leave me with some bias.

Also, needless to say, I’m talking about the character Technoblade, not the actual content creator, unless I specifically say so. That should be obvious.

Now, I’m not doing a Technoblade character analysis, because that would be hypocritical of me – seeing how I just bitched about the overwhelming amounts of character analyses in the fandom – but I’ll try my best to summarize what is necessary.

Technoblade’s interesting in that he is a very static character – at least inwardly – he doesn’t change much. He is very steadfast in his beliefs and ideals and has very little introspection. He doesn’t question himself; he doesn’t waver, he is never in a bind about whether what he’s doing is right or wrong. He is very much a parallel to early TommyInnit – who, of course, famously said “I’m always in the right”.

And I want to emphasize that I mean this in no way as a critique of Techno’s character. A static character provides a nice contrast to more dynamic characters and can balance them out. It can also be utilised by the writing as a character flaw – which is what I hope content creator Techno is going for.

Like Techno doesn’t have a lot of empathy in the sense that he is particularly skilled at or interested in trying to see the viewpoints of others. There is never an attempt to reconcile, for example, the goal of the Pogtopians to reclaim L’Manberg and install another administration with his desire for an anarchist society. This is also compounded with his overreliance on violence as the only tactic for conflict resolution – Techno has a whole thesis statement about violence being the only universal language. I’m sure you’ve heard the quote.

And lastly, what really drives this all over the edge, is his all-or-nothing approach when dealing with the enemy – he is not so much eye for an eye as he is – to use another biblical example – you make fun of me for being bald and I’ll sic two bears on you that maul and kill you and 41 other children.

There’s also the open and completely unacknowledged hypocrisy of a self-described anarchist working together with a man that installs and dethrones Kings with his every whim – someone who – and I cannot stress this enough – hits about every box when it comes to the definition of tyrant.

So, what I’m saying is that Technoblade is the Dream SMP equivalent of Dick Chenney. C’mon you know it’s true! He will bomb that freedom into your country whether you want him to or not. That’s some cogent political commentary in the year 2021.

Okay, so now that I’ve outlined his character, what kind of conflicts does Technoblade face. Well, it’s mostly physical or external. He fights a lot whether it’s against Quackity or Sapnap or bodying Karl Jacobs five times in a row. And – with the exception of maybe Sapnap – none of it is challenging. Technoblade is the best PvP-Player on the server – there really isn’t much tension to be had from a purely physical fight.

So, how are these fights supplemented emotionally. Well, internally there is not a lot going on. As I said before, Technoblade isn’t really an introspective character. Even during his shouting match with Tommy there’s not a sense that Technoblade is wavering or unsure of himself in the way that Tommy is. He exposits that one of the reasons, he acts like he does is that he feels dehumanized; that people only use him like a weapon and then discard or even try to neutralize him once he’s no longer useful.

But that is not something that Technoblade has to grapple with – it’s not conflict for him, it’s more conflict for Tommy. Technoblade is self-assured in that he’s a person and not a weapon – it’s almost like there was a character arc there, where Technoblade self-actualizes and breaks away from the people that want to use him. But we didn’t see any of it. Technoblade unleashes the withers; then he goes into retirement because he wants to be, I suppose, and then he returns to violence as a reaction to the Butcher Army. There is a story of vengeance here, but not any conflict about being used. There is never a point where we see Technoblade come to this realization or comes to assert himself.

In season 1 there’s never a push from Pogtopia where the narrative frames them as exploiting Technoblade. He fights with them of his own volition, he gives them weapons and armour of his own volition. Nobody pressured Techno into procuring their inventory for the fight. And in Season 2, he’s the one to approach Tommy about their potential partnership – he is in the position of power here, explicitly not Tommy.

Like, I’m sorry, if this ruffles some feathers, but I really don’t see this arc where Technoblade is being used. There’s a story of misunderstanding and maybe co-dependency – but not of dehumanization. This entire line of thought seems to solely reference that moment, where Tommy says to Sapnap “I have the blade” during one of their wars – which, to base an entire emotional arc around that without any further set-up, is, and I’m sorry to say that, incredibly flimsy.

Okay, so we covered physical and emotional conflict? But what about conflict on the narrative level? Well, that leads me to my suprathesis …

Suprathesis: The Narrative is Unclear on how it treats Technoblade … and that’s Not Good.

Here’s a Hot Take: The narrative of Season 1 treats Technoblade way less sympathetically than that of season 2.

Let me explain. The narrative of Season 1 revolves mostly around Wilbur and Tommy. The emotional fulcrum of the overall narrative is Wilbur’s rise and fall from Grace – and Tommy succeeding him as symbol of L’Manberg’s “special”-ness. Now I will talk about all that more in detail, when I talk about Season 1 of the Dream SMP. So, you’ll just have to go with me on this one for now.

Technoblade, by contrast, doesn’t really have much going on thematically in Season 1. He mostly exists as a sort-of utilitarian character – he is an accessory to make story beats happen. Like him executing Tubbo doesn’t open up any sort of thematic conflict involving him – on a character level it sets up antipathy between him and Tommy and it grants us some insight into how he operates with his violence speech – but on a larger-scale narrative level it really just shows how far Wilbur and Tommy have drifted apart in how they react to the event.

His biggest contribution is during the Season 1 finale, but even there he plays second fiddle to Wilbur. Not just because Wilbur does way more destruction with his explosion than Techno does with his Withers, but also because Wilbur had an emotional and thematic climax to his arc and by extension the entire storyline. Like Techno’s is a cool moment and very epic visual but in terms of thematic relevance, his Theseus-speech is really more set-up for Season 2.

And Season 1 is very unambiguous about L’Manberg being good and Tommy’s ideals ultimately being morally justified – I mean, they have a whole speech about it in the end and it was built-up throughout the entire Season – Techno is cast in a … less than sympathetic light. He is, if not a villain, then definitely an antagonist.

But with Season 2 the narrative is either uninterested in or not very clear on exploring Technoblade’s flaws.

Like ask yourselves: is Technoblade’s character ever consciously challenged by the narrative? Are his actions ultimately shown to not be in the right? Are his beliefs about government and power ever called into question? Are the negative consequences that his actions cause ever shown to be larger than the “good” he does?

I think what exemplifies this the most is how the Butcher Army event played out on December 16th. Now, during that event, the Butcher Army, which was comprised of Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy and Ranboo, managed to apprehend Technoblade, who at that point was living the quiet retirement life, and tried to have him publicly executed – without trial.

Now, smarter people than me have pointed out that the Butcher Army had a bevy of in-character reasons that can justify or explain their actions. And that’s definitely interesting, but as I said before, I want to get away from that and look into how the Butcher Army is treated on a narrative level. Because this is one of the few instances where the otherwise grey-loving Season 2 has some very clear narrative intent when it comes to morality.

The Butcher Army is very deliberately framed as almost cartoonishly corrupt and violent. They very forcefully investigate Philza, mock him and then put him under house arrest – and there’s just no remorse in the script even from normally sympathetic characters like Tubbo.

Compare and contrast with the Tommy-exile scene, which is also an act of moral ambiguity and is treated as such. And things get even worse once the Army arrives at Technoblade’s abode and attack him after he softly tells them that he has left that live behind him. They then proceed to take his horse hostage, mock him and execute him without fair trial – and I haven’t seen it but from live commentary I gathered that Techno really played up the whole softie-schtick before the Butcher Army arrived. I mean, before the big Technoblade vs Quackity fight, Quackity had whole villain monologue for Christ’s sake.

And even afterwards, the Butcher Army really plays up the corrupt angle with Tubbo proposing a festival as a guise to publicly execute someone. And again, I know that on an intradiegetic there’s nuances and it’s not really comparable to the Red Festival, but in combination with what the audience has seen up until that point and with how much it feeds into the already established themes of history repeating itself and becoming like your predecessors, it really does not paint a pretty picture of the Tubbo administration.

You can feel the heavy hand of the script on your shoulder, which is a feat seeing how – as discussed before – that’s not something that can be easily accomplished in this medium.

And that is what I mean when I say that Technoblade is not really challenged by the script and is in this case even emboldened by it. Because after this whole ordeal the thought of Technoblade taking revenge by destroying L’Manberg doesn’t seem like such an extreme response to the viewer – even though in my opinion, it is.

As of right now it is too early to say how the narrative will judge Technoblade’s actions in the future. Will they be framed as extreme but ultimately justified or perpetuating a cycle of ever-escalating vengeance? Will we ever see a government that’s not just at best misguided and at worst completely awful?

Ultimately, I believe and hope that Technoblade will be challenged by the narrative, mostly because a character that cannot, believably, be physically challenged, who doesn’t have any meaningful internal conflict about what he’s doing; and who does come out on the other side having everything he always believed in be proven completely in the right by the narrative, would be incredibly boring. Not just to watch but also to play as.

As it stands now, if the destruction Techno, Phil and Dream inflicted upon L’Manburg is framed as ultimately in the right, I would find it personally a distasteful message to send. I would ultimately say that the “correct” way to counter corruption in government is to completely obliterate the entire country. Like we’re not talking simply disbanding the government – that’s not what Doomsday was – we’re talking complete and utter annihilation. And that would be cynical and depressing. Like, call me a big softie, but even bothsidesing this argument would be bad.

Like, I’m not calling for Technoblade to be transformed into or treated a monster like Dream. But I personally feel like the narrative needs to acknowledge that the Doomsday was something that was taken way too far and that it ultimately brought more harm than good. And Technoblade needs to held accountable by someone who is not a cartoonishly corrupt government-official or who is in conflict with him anyway, like Tommy.

I thought Philza or Ranboo could do that but seeing how their storylines are progressing I don’t believe that will be the case. But who knows, maybe Captain Puffy will come through for us. We stan a Queen.

Conclusion

So, yeah, I made this entire video just to air out my grievances with how one-sided the mode of analysis is in the fandom, because no person actually involved with the production of Dream SMP will ever see this.

But after everything I am cautiously optimistic, that content creator Technoblade knows what he’s doing. He has talked in the past about how his character is a bad guy and he loves his Greek myths. After all what’s more Greek myth than hybris being rewarded with punishment? [Technoblade never dies] That bodes well for him.

Also, this isn’t the video I promised at the end of the last one!

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imjustwritingg · 4 years ago

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you can hear it in the silence

This takes place after Jay gets shot and the hospital scene in season 7, loosely based on the song “You Are In Love” by Taylor Swift. I’ve had this stored away half-finished for quite a while and put a crazy spin on it after seeing a prompt on Twitter. It also seems pretty fitting that I finished this specific one on the same day that JLS’s interview came out where he politely disregarded Linstead and said Upstead rights. Enjoy and let me know what you think. 💜

Also here: AO3 & FanFic.Net

cause you can hear in the silence

you can feel it on the way home

you can see it with the lights out

you are in love, true love

you're in love

XXX

“I can’t figure him out. He’s the first one through the door, a war vet, and he’d rather take a bullet than get the flu shot.”

“It’s hard because you love him.”

“When you were in surgery, no one knew what was going to happen and it made me realize I wanted to tell you something.”

“What were you gonna say?”

Hailey has replayed those moments from the hospital every day in her head since they first happened. Vanessa had straight up called the blonde out on her feelings, that it wasn’t just about her partner, Jay Halstead, but everything else he had become over the last few years of he and Hailey working together. A trusted confidant. Her best friend. Someone she could depend on endlessly. The man she had fallen for without even realizing she was falling in the first place.

When Jay had been given the all-clear to go home Hailey had somehow found the courage to finally tell him about her feelings for him. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if something else were to happen and she never got the chance to tell him the truth about how she really felt towards him. Her heart always seemed to ache in that way where she could barely breathe around him and she wanted nothing more than to admit her feelings and hope for the best.

The words had been there right on the tip of her tongue, but with one ring of his undercover phone she was pulled back to reality. The walls shot up around her heart again, made her second guess everything up to that point, and she retreated back into herself as if it were some twisted sign from the universe screaming at her, “no, don’t do it!”

Could she really tell him the truth? And should she? Or would it ruin their friendship and the partnership they’d nearly perfected over the time spent working together? She just wasn’t sure. All of these questions plagued her mind since that day, but she knew she couldn’t voice them out loud. Not now. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

XXX

Jay had returned to work a week after his release from the hospital, but he remained on strict desk duty. He was itching to get back out into the field, but Voight had made it clear that, that wasn’t happening until the sling was off his shoulder and he got explicit written permission from his doctor. So, he stayed in the bullpen, pushing paperwork and helping to find leads for his team however he could.

When he saw his partner and Burgess at Platt’s desk that night after his first shift back, he couldn’t help the pride he felt inside of him knowing what Hailey had done to capture the perp.

“I heard you made a nice disarm,” he says while looking at Hailey.

Her face immediately breaks out into a shy smile. “Oh man. You want details?”

“Yeah, I’m losing my mind,” he tells her.

“After six days?” Kim teases.

“After six minutes,” Jay emphasizes with a slight shake of his head.

Before the three of them can make a quick escape from the district, Platt calls out to Kim making her hang back. She says a quick goodbye to the duo, leaving Hailey and Jay to themselves. Hailey looks at her partner and nods to the door, and the pair make their way down the stairs towards the exit.

The bitter winds of Chicago’s winter season meet them eagerly as the pair exit the district. Hailey isn’t sure how it happens, but they end up nearly shoulder to shoulder as they walk down the sidewalk towards the parking lot. Each time they almost brush against one another she feels a rush of heat move through her body from the proximity alone. Trying to ignore her feelings was proving to be more and more difficult with each moment that passed between her and the man at her side.

“Beer and story-time at my place?” Jay suggests as they near the lot.

“Give me about an hour?” Hailey counters. She just needs a little bit of time to herself to try and clear her head.

“Sure. I’ll order food from that Greek place you like,” Jay says.

She smiles at him. “Sounds good. I’ll see ya in a bit.”

Jay gives her one of his grins, one that Hailey has come to realize is only ever used with her and one that should be considered illegal, and then the two go their separate ways.

XXX

Hailey’s nothing if not punctual. If she says an hour, she means an hour. So when there’s a light knock on Jay’s door thirty minutes after leaving his partner at the district, he’s a bit perplexed. He’s got a pep in his step though as he walks to the door, a grin plastered on his face, and ready to spend his night with Hailey.

“You said an hour. Food’s not here ye-,” his teasing tone fades out as he pulls open the door and he stands silent as he looks at the woman in front of him who most definitely is not his current partner.

“Hi Jay.”

“Erin.”

Every emotion a person could ever possibly feel is felt by Jay within seconds of each other as he stands in front of Erin Lindsay for the first time in almost four years. Her dark hair falls down past her shoulders in waves and she’s not dressed in some fancy pantsuit, but there’s still something about the way she stands with her hands clasped together in front of her that seems like she’s got things all figured out now.

All he can do is stare at the woman in front of him, as if he’s just seen a ghost. And maybe he has, as memories of their days spent together, both professionally and privately, overload his brain. It causes him to grip the door handle so tight his knuckles turn white.

“What are you doing here?” He finally gets out.

She shrugs her shoulders. “I’m here for work. Heard you went and got yourself shot again.”

Jay rolls his eyes. “Hank tell ya that?”

Erin raises her eyebrows at him then and finds herself smirking at him. “First name basis with him now, eh?”

“You’re a little late. It’s been a few weeks since the shooting,” he says, ignoring her comment. His voice is strong and curt, the complete opposite of what it’d been mere moments before when he thought it was Hailey at his door.

“I was deep in a case. I didn’t know until about an hour ago when I talked to Hank on the phone,” she explains.

He just shakes his head at her. “Doesn’t answer my question. What are you doing here, Erin?”

“He told me how bad it was. I was in town and I wanted to know that you were okay. Can I come in? Please?”

Jay stares at her for a moment, wanting to say no, but something inside of him doesn’t let him get the word out despite the whisper of a voice in the back of his head telling him it was a mistake. He lets out a long sigh and steps aside instead, opens the door fully, and allows her to enter. He closes the door behind her after she steps inside and the two of them stand across from each other in his living room. Jay leans back onto the top of his couch, his arm still in the sling and his other hand shoved into the pocket of his jeans while Erin stands off to the side with her hands in her jacket now.

“What could you possibly have to say to me after all this time that a phone call couldn’t do?”

“I know how I left things Jay. I know I hurt you and I know I’m probably an idiot for showing up like this after everything we’ve been through. I just wanted to see you and make sure you were okay.”

Jay scoffs at her, shaking his head. “After everything that happened? You mean when you left without saying a word to me or to anyone besides Hank? Or do you mean when I texted and called and left a dozen messages, and you didn’t have the decency to respond to a single one to let me know you were at least okay?”

The combination of the last few years of keeping it all locked up inside of him, then unloading it during therapy, and now seeing her in front of him like nothing ever happened pushes him over the edge. She really showed up, expecting years of anger and hurt and pain to be swept under the rug as if her leaving hadn’t destroyed him for a period of time.

Erin just stares back at him and doesn’t speak. Hearing the anger in his voice and seeing the pain of what she’d left behind in his eyes wasn’t something she had prepared herself for on her way over to his apartment. She takes in the lingering stain of almost healed bruises on his skin, the sling in which his arm rests. She’s beginning to think this was nothing, but a mistake. That the look in his eyes now is going to be another memory that haunts her.

Erin pulls her hands out of her pockets and takes a step forward. She doesn’t touch him, she won’t, but she needs to be closer to him, needs him to hear her words and look him directly in the eyes when she says them.

“I’m sorry, Jay.”

His eyes immediately close as he hears the words come out of her mouth. He hadn’t realized all this time that he was waiting for something from her. An explanation. An apology. Some sort of something that would make him feel some sort of relief or closure. Anything.

He opens his eyes a moment later when there’s another knock at his door and he thanks the heavens or the universe or whatever it is for the interruption.

He lets out a deep sigh as he walks to the door and when he pulls it open, he feels both relieved and panicked when he sees Hailey standing in front of him. It takes all of two seconds for her eyes to meet his and for a grin to appear on her face when she sees him. And then another two seconds later, her eyes find Erin standing behind him and her smile is gone. She glances between them, noticing the obvious tension that hangs in the air around them all now.

“Erin,” Hailey breathes out.

Erin offers a smile and a small wave. “Hey Hailey. Long time no see.”

“Yeah, it‘s been a minute. How ya been?” Hailey asks. It’s a poor attempt to be polite and make small talk, but she’s not dumb. She knows what she’s just walked in on and all she wants to do now is to turn around and leave and return home.

Erin shrugs. “Busy. Work has been crazy.”

Hailey nods then, not saying anything else and not wanting to continue the conversation. She knows exactly who Erin had been to Jay at one point, and seeing the woman who caused him so much pain and heartache causes Hailey to immediately be defensive and cautious.

“So um, rain check then? We’ll catch up another time,” Hailey says a second later, looking at Jay.

That was the last thing Jay wanted, but he nods anyway. He can tell she’s uncomfortable and he can’t exactly blame her. He’s not so comfortable himself.

“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he tells her.

Erin watches the two, a small knowing smile appearing on her face. She watches Jay as he watches Hailey, his eyes following the blonde as she walks away from him and down the hallway. The look on his face tells Erin everything she needs to know.

Jay only closes his apartment door when he hears the elevator doors chime open and sees Hailey step inside the elevator car. He turns back to Erin, running his free hand over the back of his head, while she leans against the back of his couch now with her arms crossed in front of her.

“How long has that been going on?”

He quirks an eyebrow at her. “How long has what been going on?"

Erin nods to the door, a smirk on her face now. “You and Hailey.”

“There’s nothing going on there. We’re just partners,” Jay tells her.

Erin nods, but the smirk doesn’t leave her face and despite everything, Jay still knows her well enough to know she isn’t gonna let it go. “You and I were just partners at one point too, ya know? We may not be in each other’s lives anymore, but I can still tell when you’re lying.”

“How long you in town for?” He asks her, ignoring her words.

She’s still smirking, but lets him deflect. “I head back to New York tomorrow afternoon.”

“You should go and see Voight before you leave. I’m sure he’d like to see you,” he tells her.

Erin nods, but doesn’t move. “You’re good, right? You’re okay?”

He knows she’s not only asking about the shooting, but everything else. His PTSD, his past, his life.

“I’m good Erin. I’m really good,” he assures her with a smile.

Erin nods again, looking down at the floor. When she raises her eyes back to his again he sees the tears and a look of realization in them.

“We won’t ever be friends again, will we?” Erin asks even though she already knows the answer.

“I don’t think we were ever really friends, Erin. Not really. You never let me in. I mean, really let me in. And I know I didn’t do the same with you either. Especially near the end. We both said and did things back then. We just didn’t work,” he says.

There is a sense of relief that overwhelms his senses as he says the words out loud, like he’s been needing to say them to her. And they sting like a slap to the face, but Erin gets it. She can’t hold any of it against him because he’s right. Things had been messy between them, to put it lightly. They both had their issues, together and apart, and they’d never quite learned how to deal with things. She knows he isn’t being vicious. He’s just being honest. He’s just being Jay.

“I wish things had been different for us. If I could go back and do it again, I would do it right,” Erin tells him, her voice sincere as she stands up straight and takes a step toward him.

“Can I at least hug you goodbye? We didn’t get that the last time I left,” she says quietly.

Jay nods and reaches for her with his good arm, wrapping it around her shoulders while Erin’s snake around his waist, careful of his sling. He gives her a squeeze and she does the same before the two separate, and Erin makes her way to the door. She pulls it open, but then turns around to face him one last time.

“If she doesn’t already know, you should tell Hailey how you feel,” Erin tells him.

He doesn’t try to play it off this time. He knows he’s been found out and he doesn’t have the energy to try and lie about it anymore, so he just shrugs.

“Not sure getting involved with another partner is the smartest idea. Didn’t work out so well last time,” Jay says. He makes a bad joke, a jab at them, and it’s a lame attempt to downplay his feelings and the conversation at hand, and Erin just rolls her eyes at him.

“Look, you can lie to me all you want, but don’t lie to yourself. You should tell her Jay. I can see she feels the same.”

She gives him one last smile and then she’s gone. And he’s left with the closure he never got from her before, but also with more questions than ever plaguing his mind now.

Jay makes his way to his sofa, plops down, and leans his head back against the cushions. There’s another knock on his door and he curses as he stands. It’s the delivery guy with the food he had ordered earlier. He pays the delivery guy and closes his door, looking down at the bag in his hand for barely a moment before a smile appears on his face. He’s exhausted and his shoulder is throbbing in discomfort, but he realizes right then there’s only one place else he’d rather be.

XXX

Hailey’s head is reeling by the time she gets back to her place. She kicks her shoes off as soon as she walks through her front door and then goes straight to the kitchen to grab a bottle of whiskey and a glass. She’s still in disbelief and shock that Erin had shown up out of the blue. A part of her feeling angry, annoyed, but mostly she’s just confused and curious.

Why had she come back? And why now, years later? Did she want Jay back? Did he want her back? Too many questions were clouding her head and she needed them to disappear immediately.

She pours herself a glass of whiskey and knocks it back quickly, enjoying the momentary burn as it slips down her throat.

She’s not sure how much time passes between knocking back her first drink and now sipping on her third, when a loud knock sounds at her door. She groans out, slightly annoyed, thinking it must be Vanessa. Her roommate was quick as a whip and damn good police, but the younger officer had a bad habit of forgetting her keys.

Hailey makes her way to the door, shuffling her socked feet against the hardwood floors and pulls the door open hastily. She doesn’t expect to see her partner standing on the other side and takes a small step back in surprise.

“Hi,” Jay says to her with a shy smile on his face.

“Hi,” Hailey breathes out.

Jay doesn’t miss the way her voice seems to crack with just one word. Her eyes are glassy, but he can’t tell if she’s been crying or drinking, or both. He nods down to the bag of take out and beer in his good hand.

“Too soon for that rain check?” He asks her with a smirk now.

Hailey offers him a small smile and pulls the door open further, taking another step back so Jay can step inside. She closes the door behind him and leads him through the kitchen. He clocks the bottle of amber liquid on the counter as he follows Hailey to the living room, and then the two sit down on the couch.

“Whiskey huh?” He asks, pointing a thumb over his shoulder towards the kitchen with a slight smirk on his face.

“Yeah, I was thirsty,” Hailey claps back with a smirk of her own.

Jay shakes his head at her before reaching for the bag of food. He pulls out several containers, handing Hailey’s food over to her, and the two dig in.

They eat in silence, stealing glances from the other every so often. Jay can tell something is off with his partner and he’s certain it has to do with the fact that she’d seen Erin in his apartment not even an hour ago. He can also tell she’s keeping her distance from him. Had it been any other time they’d be sat together knee to knee, eating their food, knocking back beers, and griping over some sporting event playing on television. Instead, Hailey sits with her legs crossed like a pretzel, keeping space between them, as she stays as close to the end of her couch as she can.

What he can’t gather is why she’s so distant with him. And then he remembers Erin’s words from earlier.

“I can see she feels the same...”

Did Hailey feel something for him? Something more than normal partners should feel for one another? She couldn’t think anything happened with Erin, did she? Not after all this time. Not after everything the two of them had been through together.

Jay knew this was new territory for them. They’d never crossed this line before. The line of professionalism and friendship. But looking at her now, Jay was sure there was never a time before tonight that he’d felt so awkward around Hailey. That he couldn’t get a solid read on her and it was killing him.

“You okay?” He finally asks after they finish eating. He turns his head to look at her and leans against her couch with his arms spread out over the back.

“I’m fine. Guess I just didn’t think I’d see you again tonight,” Hailey tells him as she takes a pull from her beer.

“How come?” Jay presses.

Hailey raises an eyebrow at him, silently asking if he was serious, and he just shrugs making her laugh. The sound alone makes him smile. Despite whatever was or wasn’t happening between them, he could at least still make her laugh.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that to happen. I thought it was you knocking on my door,” Jay says, reaching for his own beer.

“What did she want?” Hailey asks, unable to help herself.

“See how I was doing. Apologize. She’s here for work and Voight mentioned the shooting. I don’t know. Guilty conscience, I guess.”

“And how do you feel about that? Her being back, I mean.”

He takes a deep breath, letting out a long sigh.

“She’s not back. She’s leaving tomorrow.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Hailey pushes.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jay counters.

Hailey shrugs. “Lot of history there.”

“I feel like there’s too much history, but there’s also nothing left between me and Erin. There are no feelings there whatsoever. I’ve moved on,” Jay tells her.

Hailey nods slowly, taking another sip of her beer and taking in his words as she looks down into her lap. She starts fiddling with the label on her beer bottle, needing to busy herself with anything other than looking in his eyes. A part of her is nervous at what she might find in those green eyes she had come to enjoy looking into so much. Maybe lies, or worse, truth.

“Hailey.”

How was it possible to both love and hate the way his voice sounded saying her name?

She takes a quick breath and looks up, meeting his eyes. Green. Smiling. Honest.

“Yeah,” she breathes out.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just tired,” she says as she runs her free hand through her hair.

Jay shakes his head at her. “Tell me what’s really going on in that head of yours.”

He needs her to tell him. He’s practically begging her with his eyes, but Hailey just shakes her own head at him then and stands from the couch.

“I really am tired. Maybe we should call it a night. It’s been a long day for both of us. Thanks for stopping by and for dinner, but I just wanna go to bed.”

He realizes she isn’t exactly asking for him to leave, but rather telling him as she carries her beer and grabs their empty food containers, and then makes her way to the kitchen. He lets out a deep sigh before he gets up from the couch and follows her. Her back is facing him as she puts her glass from earlier in the sink and stores the whiskey away in a cabinet.

Before he realizes what he’s doing, Jay walks up behind her and reaches a hand towards her. He feels her body go rigid the second his hand lands on her waist, and then he hears the deep breath she takes.

It’s the first time they’ve touched one another in such an intimate way that wasn’t case related or him comforting her or shielding them from flying bullets in a surveillance van. It was just them.

He pulls at her side, forcing her to turn around and his heart aches at the sight of her blue eyes. Erin was right. Hailey does feel something for him. It’s splayed out all over her face and the tears in the corners of her eyes.

“Do you really want me to leave?” He asks. His voice is so quiet he’s not sure she even hears him.

He watches as she sucks in another breath and then shakes her head slowly, almost hesitantly. He feels his fingers twitch at her waist and he takes another small step closer towards her so they’re nearly chest to chest. His arm is around her now, his hand on her lower back.

“Can I stay?”

All she can do is nod her head. And then she reaches around her back for his hand and leads him up the stairs to her bedroom. They don’t say another word to each other. When they reach her room, Hailey releases his hand and grabs a pair of pajama shorts and a t-shirt from her dresser, then disappears into the bathroom. Jay slips the sling from his shoulder to remove his sweatshirt before carefully sliding the contraption back on over his t-shirt. He kicks off his jeans then as Hailey enters the bedroom again.

Her eyes linger on him for a moment as he stands in the middle of her bedroom in just a t-shirt and boxers. She gives him a shy smile and then nods to the bed. She takes the left side; he takes the right. And it feels so natural, like it’s not at all the first time they’re about to share a bed together.

They lay next to one another, ample space between them under the covers because he is still a gentleman and doesn’t want to overstep with her. He hears her blow out a deep breath next to him, and he turns his head slightly to look at her. There’s just enough light steaming in through her bedroom windows from the streetlights outside that he can make out the profile of her face, the angle of her jawline, and how she’s got her bottom lip pulled between her teeth.

The awkward tension from earlier still somewhat lingers, but there’s a strange sense of comfortability around them now too. Because no matter what happens they’re still just Hailey and Jay. They’re still them. And before he can think twice he’s reaching his hand out under the covers to find hers. The sudden contact of his skin and the squeeze of his fingers against hers makes her jump and she turns her head to seek out his eyes in the slight darkness.

There’s a strange look on his face, one that she has seen before, but has tried to ignore. The look that tells her he feels it between them too, even though neither have admitted it or said anything out loud yet.

“You’re my best friend. You know that right?” He asks her then. His voice is deep and quiet, and he squeezes her hand again.

Hailey nods, realizing she’s been staring at him in silence this whole time before she says, “you’re my best friend, too.”

Jay squeezes her fingers once more and it’s quiet again as they lay side by side in her bed. He can feel it in the silence though. He can feel it in the slow brush of her thumb moving back and forth over the top of his hand. He can feel it in the way her eyes stare back at him.

There’s something palpable between them. Undeniable. It’s in everything they do and don’t do, everything they say and don’t say. They both know it, but say nothing else as they drift closer together in Hailey’s bed, not letting go of one another’s hand.

They don’t need to say anything because they know it’s just a matter of time before things change again for them. Until they finally break from their stubbornness and trepidation and insecurities that have stemmed from their broken pasts. They know this thing between them is inevitable.

#chicago pd #upstead #upstead fic #hailey upton #jay halstead #jay x hailey

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lokeanwelcomingcommittee · 4 years ago

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Hi! Um, I'm looking for a lullaby/song where Loki is thinking about his children- some say the lullaby refers specifically to Fenrir- but I only found a translated version and the person who wrote it told me that only the words exist now and not the tune. The English translation goes somewhat like "when meadow blossoms glint in spring morning dew" and I think it's called "until we meet again"- not sure, though. Have you ever heard of this lullaby? If so, could you perhaps direct me to some resources so I can read a bit about the original untranslated version?

My BS meter immediately went off, and sure enough, through the magic of Google, I found the link on Wattpad.

The writer’s explanation in the comments is...not accurate, to put it kindly.

It’s true that there are trickster figures in many Indo-European cultures, and many other cultures around the world. It’s true that stories about them may have originally sprung from the same source a very long time ago, and through comparative mythology, we can kind of get an idea of instances in which this may have happened. But only kind of. What we have of the Proto-Indo-European language and religion is entirely reconstructed based on modern best guesses.

It’s true that there was pretty much certainly some cross-pollination with Sami folklore and Irish folklore with Norse folklore much later down the road due to geographical proximity.

But--and I cannot emphasize this enough--Loki is not Lugh. (He is also not Llue, who is Welsh.) By the time we get to the point where these myths are actually getting written down, Lugh and Loki are completely different figures with pretty much no other parallels besides being clever bastards (complimentary) at times. Nor do the most commonly accepted etymologies of their names have them as deriving from the same place. Notably, neither Lugh nor Llue have a son who is a giant wolf, and while I know there’s a lot of different texts and regional variation in the stories here, I’ve never heard of poems where either of them mourn a son.

And no, there’s no earlier surviving ur-text that fills in the gaps and unites them all, because again, once we go further back than Lugh and Loki as we know them, we’re at the point before these cultures had written language. We can speculate that they might have stemmed from a single Indo-European trickster figure, and we can incorporate that idea into our religious practice if we choose, but we have absolutely no hard proof of this, let alone the remnants of a specific folk song.

This “translation” is the equivalent of me taking some random passages from the bible, some random passages from Ugaritic texts, and random passages from the Egyptian Book of the Dead, claiming they must be intended to form a single cohesive narrative just because “Eh, they’re all Ancient Near East, right?” and then writing a poem in my own words loosely based on that narrative I made up, because, again, that narrative was never there to begin with in the original texts.

Also...consider this. If the melody doesn’t survive and the lyrics supposedly exist only in bits and pieces, how the hell does this “translation” have specific syllable counts for the humming? If it’s as old as it’s claimed to be, why is the humming even written out like that?

It’s a piece of devotional creative writing. Perhaps one written while attempting to channel Loki, perhaps not. And there’s nothing wrong with that! But it's not a translation of an attested work and should not have been implied to be a translation of an attested work.

- Mod E

#Anonymous

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peculiarwem · 3 years ago

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All the graphic novels I read while I was gone...

I forgot to put the intro to this post. Whoops. These are all the graphic novels I read between May and December I think. Including content warnings.

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Ngygen

This was a beautiful story. The art is fantastic, the way the colors emphasized the story. I read this a really long time ago and it still is just so beautiful and I definitely cried. The myths woven throughout the story is so nice. I'm crying right now and I don't remember that much about it. 50/5 stars

CW: Cannibalism (told in fairy tale), death, religious figure brought in to discourage LGBT youth, shame over sexual identity

Nubia: Real One by LL McKinney and Robyn Smith

PI do not like the DC Graphic Novel line. I think realistically they will be more detrimental than not, but Nubia was a really good introduction. After its release, DC did retcon Nubia's origin, but I loved this story all the same. I think it was cute and I couldn't ask for more. 5/5

CW: police brutality, racism, sexual harassment and gun violence

Poison Ivy: Thorns by Kody Keplinger and Sara Kiplin

This is the book that really started turning me against DC Graphic Novels. While the story isn't the worst, Pamela is treated weirdly by the story. Usually she becomes Poison Ivy in a lab, but here her father creates Poison Ivy. In the end there's no real resolution and also the romance only exists for this book. Pamela, to me, isn't represented in Poison Ivy: Thorns, which is a fault I find with most of DC's Graphic Novels. I wish they were true to the character. I gave it 4/5 originally but honestly I would give it a 3/5 now.

CW: bullying, sexual assault/harassment, abuse,

Fangs by Sarah Andersen

This was so cute. It's just a bunch of illustrations of a vampire and her werewolf boyfriend. It's so simple but so nice. 5/5

CW: blood, murder

Wonder Woman: Warbringer by Louise Simonson and Leigh Bardugo

This is my least favorite of the DC graphic novels. It's based off of the book by the same name which I will probably never read because I did not like this graphic novel that much. The original story came out a year after Diana was stated to be canonically bi, but this story goes out of its way to avoid naming Diana as bi but names everyone else queer. The romance is dumb, it didn't have to be there, it would have been fine if the betrayal just came from a friend but also in general, the story is impossible in any of Diana's main continuities. If you think you're getting a good jumping on point from this story, you're wrong. Also the best character in this book, Alia, will probably never see a comic and that's sad. She's great. If you wanted to read this book, do it for her. I gave it a 3/5 stars.

CW: betrayal, bombing, death, plane crash, possession, shipwreck, shootings, and sickness.

House of El: The Shadow Threat by Claudia Gray and Eric Zawadski

I think the best DC Graphic Novels are about characters you don't know, but also you won't know. The Shadow Threat follows two krytonian citizens who are working against Krypton because Krypton sucks. You'll probably never see these characters in the comics and that's a saving grace. You meet Superman's parents but they aren't front and center enough to ruin the story. It was just a fun time with no rage. 5/5

No CWs

Under the Moon: A Catwoman Tale by Lauren Myracle and Issac Goodhart

Again, when you know these characters, these graphic novels suck. This one was represented Selina and Bruce fairly well but the way the story was built around them wasn't good. Selina starts calling herself Catgirl, not as a secret identity, but as her name and it's very cringy, but in general the story feels unfinished. There are a lot of loose threads that just don't go anywhere or where they do go is another new beginning instead of an ending. It's just disappointing. 3/5

CW: child abuse, homelessness, animal abuse, cutting, homophobia, suicidal ideation, and violence. Also, there's a little vague cult stuff.

Squad by Maggie Tokuda-Hall and Lisa Sterle

I really liked Squad. It was a little too short for me. I definitely could've read more but just in regards to the main couple. I think overall the plot was really well paced. It was a fun read. I gave it 5/5.

CWs: murder, eating disorders, general gore, cannibalism, sexual assault, alcohol, racism, sexism, fatphobia, homophobia, toxic friendships, toxic relationships, vomit

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luna-eclipse2000 · 4 years ago

Text

How I met your mother Armin x reader, modern AU

*Based off an episode of Criminal Minds where Spencer Reid has to have a normal conversation with someone, causing him to meet a girl in a park

——————————————————————————

Armin POV

“Daddy!” I hear my children call out to me as they run into my office. I put my pen down and swivel in my seat onto have two blond heads of hair jump up, and sit on my lap. “Ok, ok!” I say with a laugh. “Did you make mommy mad?”

“No.” (s/n) says with a shake of his head, causing his hair to move across his forehead. He looks exactly like me from when I was a child, and (s/n) has her mother’s (e/c) eyes. “But we wanna know how you met her!” (d/n) tells me. “You want to know how we met?” I ask surprised. “You won’t find it yucky?”

“Nuh-uh!” They respond in unison. “Alright, but I’m holding your word to it.” I tells them.

~~~

“Armin,” My best friend, Eren, says my name from my doorway. “Do you want to come to the lakeshore with Mikasa and I?

“I have to study for my European geography test.” I answer him from my desk, slumped over my review sheets. “Yeesh, dude. There’s so many mugs in this room, we might get a weather network coming to take a reading soon.” Eren says as he looks around my room.

I have sticky notes of various colours and sizes absolutely everywhere, text books piled high, and over five mugs of coffee- some hot, some cold, and some finished. Mikasa, Eren and I are roommates for college, deciding that renting an apartment would be better for us than on-campus residence.

“Alright, buddy.” Eren says as I hear him enter my room. “C’mon, let’s go.” I feel him start to wheel my chair out of my room. “You need to get out of this room for more than coffee and a piss.”

“Eren! This test is important!” I inform him as we head down the hall. “If I fail, I could lose my chance at being a geography professor!”

“You’ll ace this test just like every other one you’ve ever had in your life. Don’t stress yourself out.” Eren tells me as we stop in the living room. I sigh in defeat, knowing that that fact is correct. “Armin, get changed.” Mikasa orders. “You look horrible.”

“Fine. I’ll be right back.” I say and head back to my room. “If you’re not out in five minutes, I’m coming to get you!” Eren calls after me. I get out my blue sweater, jeans, white button up and socks. I then head into the washroom and cringe at my unhygienic look. “When was the last time I brushed my hair? My teeth?” I ask myself as I apply toothpaste to my toothbrush and start to scrub.

I then brush out my messy hair, and clean my glasses. I then head back to the living room to put my shoes on so we can leave.

~~~

We’ve been out for about an hour and I’m already itching to get back home. “Are we almost ready to go?” I ask my friends. “For the last time, Armin, no.” Mikasa deadpans. “You need to let loose, man.” Eren says. “Maybe you need to... you know...”

He moves his hands to try and emphasize what he’s saying but I don’t understand at all. “Become a mime?” I ask slowly. “No! A girlfriend!” Eren finally spits it out. “Eren, no way!” I disagree. “I’m way too socially awkward to even talk to a girl! Besides, must I remind you about my last date? Grade 11, Marley’s Diner, Annie Leonhart?”

“Oh, right, she threw that milkshake on you and called you a mop-headed idiot.” Eren remembers. “But that was four years ago, Armin.” Mikasa reminds me. “You don’t have any friends outside of me and Eren, so you stay inside and study to deal with your crippling loneliness.”

“I would’ve probably gone softer but, yeah.” Eren agrees and I pout. “So, here’s what’s gonna happen.” Eren starts. “You’re going to stay outside for six hours, I’ll have a timer going, and you’re going to try and have a conversation with a stranger. Have it in the Starbucks line as you wait for your drink, go to a bookstore and talk to someone about how good the one they picked up is, I don’t really care. Just have a conversation.”

“And if you don’t, I’m going to beat your ass.” Mikasa promises. I nod in acceptance because I know she’ll drop me like a hot potato. You don’t become a self-defence instructor for nothing. “Great! See you at 5!” Eren says and walks away with Mikasa as he puts his phone in his back pocket after setting the timer. I just stand there awkwardly for a few seconds before walking towards the street.

“There’s a good bookstore down the street. I’ll just go hang out there for a bit.” I say to myself as I start to walk towards it. “Oh, damnit all!” I hear someone shout. The tone of the voice causes me to search it out and I see a young woman with (h/l) (h/c) hair walk into the sidewalk. “Of course it decided to break down. Can’t have one nice day, can I?”

I feel bad for her so I decide to see if I can help. “Uh... is everything alright?”

She looks at me with the brightest (e/c) eyes and prettiest face I’ve ever seen. “Oh, no.” She dismisses kindly with frustration lacing her voice. “My car decided to break down and I don’t live signing walking distance. Thank you, though.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I apologize. “It’s not your fault, this old fucker was about ready to expire for the past year or so. I just don’t want to pay the towing fee.” She says. “I’m absolutely drowning in student loans.”

I see hear start to tear up a bit as she starts to get a bit overwhelmed. “Hey, hey, hey. Look at me.” I tell the girl softly and she does. “Take some deep breaths, just like me. Watch me.”

I take a deep breath in and then slowly release it. She copies what I do. “There we go. How about you go do something relaxing to get your mind off this for a while?” I suggest. She nods. “Did you want to join me?” She asks me in such a cute voice that I can’t respond. “If you’re not doing anything, of course! You just... seemed to be by yourself, too.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. My friends ditched me because they want me to get out and meet people because I’ve got crippling loneliness’.” I say the last part dramatically. She giggles at me. “Then let’s be lonely together! I’m (y/n).”

“Armin. It’s nice to meet you.” I say and then we start to walk away from the car. “So, where did you want to go?”

“Well, I’m a bit hungry. There’s a nice bistro down the street next to a cute little bookstore. Wanna have some lunch?” (Y/n) asks me. I nod my head, so we head towards the bistro in a comfortable silence. Once we get a table, I decide to ask her something. “You mentioned student loans, so you’re in college, right? What for?”

“Oh, I’m in for (dream job). I go to Paradis College.” She informs me. “No way! That’s where I go to school! (“Really? That’s so cool! What for?”) Geography. I want to be a professor for it at a private school my parents taught at. I was going to go into history, since I love it, but then I decided on geography because I love it more. I originally wanted to be a history director at a museum on the Titan Era.” I tell her. “Oh, wow! I could never pay attention to that unit I’m high school, I was too scared.” She admits with an embarrassed blush. “Cute.”

“At first, I was the same. It was such a nerve wracking time for humanity. But then I remembered that there were people who swallowed their fear and actually faced the titans.” I say. “True, yeah. Isn’t it funny?” (F/n) asks me rhetorically. “We’ve only known each other an hour at this point, yet we’re talking like old friends.”

I give an airy laugh and nod at her true statement.

~~~

We end up hanging out for the whole six hours that I was bound to the outside world. But I didn’t want to let her go yet, not meaning to sound creepy. “Guess I better call for a tow truck now.” She says as we make it back to her car. I nod and watch her pull out her phone. “Alright, Armin, think! Use that high IQ of yours and think of a way to see her again!... Just ask for her number, idiot!” I come up with my plan as she hangs up her phone. “Goddamnit. (“What’s wrong?”) They say that I can’t ride with them to the auto shop.” She tells me as she runs a hand through her hair. “Well, I can drive you home once they get here.” I offer. “You’re so sweet, Armin. Thank you.” She thanks me. “It’s no problem. I like hanging out with you.” I admit shyly. “So, uh, can I have your number? So we can talk more?”

“Of course! Here.” She hands over her phone to me. “You put yours in mine and I’ll put mine in yours.”

I take her phone and then unlock mine before handing it over to her. “There we go.” I say to myself as I save it and hand hers back. Right as we finish, the truck comes and tows (y/n) car away. “Thank you!” She calls after them. It’s then that I remember that I don’t have a car. “Oh, shit. I, uh... I just remembered that I don’t have a car with me...”

(Y/n) starts to laugh at the situation, and I find myself doing the same. “I’ll call us a cab.” I say through fits of laughter. She nods and wipes tears away from her eyes.

~~~

We get into the cab and make it to her house rather quickly. “Well, I’ll see you some other time, Armin.” (Y/n) says. “Let me get the door for you.” I offer as I leave my side and open her door. “You’re such a gentleman.” (Y/n) says as she exits the car. I take a breath as I come up with a last second effort to get to stay with her longer. “Then would you consider joining me for dinner tonight? I’ll have my car so there won’t be won’t be a cab pulling up.” I ask. She gives me that beautiful smile of here that I’ve melted over every time she’s done it. “What time will you be here and what should I wear?”

On the outside, I’m slightly giddy with excitement, but on the inside I’m celebrating the hell out of this moment. “Does 6:30 work? (“Mhm.”) Want to go to Braus’ Kitchen? The owner’s an old friend of mine, but my roommates see her fairly often.” I suggest. “Then I’ll see you at 6:30, Armin.” (Y/n) tells me and then kisses my cheek before heading into her apartment building.

~~~

“And that’s how I met your mother.” I finish telling them the story. They look in awe at it which causes me to giggle. “Armin! Baby!” I hear (y/n) call from the living room. “Yes, sweetie?” I respond. “No! The baby!” (Y/n) restates. “The baby?” I ask quietly before realizing. “THE BABY! OOOOH KAY! Ok!”

I take the kids off my lap. “I’m gonna call Uncle Mikasa and Aunt Eren- I mean, Uncle Eren and Aunt Mikasa to watch you as I take mommy to go have your new baby sister, ok?” I tell them and then bolt out of my office to get the hospital bag from the master bathroom while calling Eren to watch the kids.

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airgetlamhh · 5 years ago

Text

Thoughts on Lostbelt 3

So, Lostbelt 3.

Just came out, and this time I played it in good time. Hopefully that’ll continue! Spoilers ahead for Lostbelt 3, and also for Qin Shi Huang’s interlude which has yet to come to NA. I’ll mark that section specifically so people can skip over it.

You might remember that I did one of these for Lostbelt 2, and if you haven’t seen that you can find it here. These are freeform and have no real set structure, they’re just one big post for me to gather and explain all my thoughts about the story. I’ll talk about characters, themes, pacing, etc. as they occur to me, and so expect this to be fairly chonky.

Now, once again, I’m going to lay out the thesis statement ahead of time, so people can feel free to skip over or read as they please. I expect this will be somewhat more controversial than my opinion about Gotterdammerung.

Lostbelt 3, the Synchronized Intelligence Nation, is bad.

I had wondered how to start this, but over time my thoughts kept coming back to the pacing. There are sixteen chapters in the Lostbelt, and almost nothing of any consequence whatsoever happens for the first eight. We fight Akuta, she runs, we fight Akuta, she runs, we spent like eight battles fighting the beasts Koyanskaya let loose and they amount to nothing and have no plot relevance whatsoever, we fight Xiang Yu and then he runs, and then we fight Xiang Yu and Lanling and then we’re forced into a truce and then nothing happens until Spartacus leads the people of the Lostbelt to rebellion and Qin drops the meteor and the march to Xiangyang begins.

Nothing happens.

Obviously that’s an exaggeration, there some events. Qin examines the Shadow Border, we meet some of the characters, but that’s all, really. A solid half of the Lostbelt is almost entirely useless faffing about, and then it rams the accelerator so absolutely nothing has any time to land and we speedrun our way through it. To put it in perspective, it’s one chapter shorter than Gotterdammerung, which was already five chapters shorter than Anastasia, and it feels significantly shorter than Gotterdammerung too. I complained in my write-up of that that it felt like things just happened for no reason, but at least things happened. In comparison, half of Lostbelt 3 feels bereft of content, the only important events of which could be condensed into about three chapters tops.

It feels like it’s a mid-year 1 Singularity. We have detours to kill random beasts unrelated to the actual plot, we get interrupted by fights as we try to talk, we faff about for ages and then speedrun our way to the actual climax. By the end of the Lostbelt, I was left with a lingering sense of “Wait, is that it?”

Moving on from the pacing, I think I should probably address the characters next. This is likely to be the largest section, since so much of the issues in the Lostbelt come from the characters and it’s only by talking about the characters that I can really engage with the themes. I’ll start from the least relevant and work my way up, meaning that I’ll be addressing basically the entire conglomerate of characters that aren’t Qin, Yu, Xiang Yu, Spartacus, Liangyu or of course Jing Ke.

Red Hare and Chen Gong, they’re comedy, make no mistake. They’re there to add a bit of humor to scenes and it’s fine, they’re funny. It’s a mistake, in my opinion, to follow such a powerful scene as Spartacus saving the villagers and it inspiring them so much that the Lostbelt reconnects with the Throne of Heroes by having it result in nothing but comic relief, but they’re inoffensive.

Koyanskaya, she’s Koyanskaya. There’s a bit more hinting about her true nature here, but besides that she’s exactly the same. Nothing much happens besides that truly gratuitous torture scene that made me glad FGO’s story isn’t voiced, because it really was just deeply uncomfortable. I think that after two chapters and a prologue full of her being untouchable and smug and constantly ahead of everyone she did need to stumble a bit, but having her get punked by Shuwen and then gruesomely and gratuitously tortured while she screams and begs for help was completely unnecessary.

Han Xin and Li Shuwen, they’re fine. I’m not much of a fan of the whole stuff about Li Shuwen being so powerful as to stand up to four Servants, three of whom are meant to be insane powerhouses in their own right, but we’ll get to that in a bit. Han Xin when he’s allowed to just go apeshit at the end is one of the very few genuine delights about the Lostbelt, I really enjoyed him.

Lanling is a disappointment not because he’s badly written, but because he’s barely written. We start the Lostbelt to a flashback of his death and it sets us up to expect a bunch from him, but all that we really get is that he’s loyal to Yu. His only purpose in the story is to function as a connection for her outside of Xiang Yu, and boy howdy does this whole thing fail, we’ll get to that too. If he’d had more time, I expect he’d be quite good, but as it is he’s barely in the story and his only major character moment outside of Yu is when he tries assassinating Guda and admits he’s not really built for it.

Mordred and Nezha are there respectively to bounce off Spartacus and to reveal that Xiang Yu is based on her body respectively. That’s it. They vanish from the story for a good few chapters and I didn’t notice because Nezha becomes irrelevant as soon as you meet Xiang Yu and Mordred becomes irrelevant as soon as Spartacus died. You could remove both and the story would change not at all, and while I do think that Mordred’s role in giving Spartacus someone to bounce off of was nice and I enjoyed their interactions, introducing a whole character just to bounce off another means that when the other character is gone, the one you’ve introduced is just there. It’s insanely noticeable with Mordred.

Gordolf is a genuine delight. I think my honest favorite scene besides Spartacus’s in the chapter is when he and Guda have to decide who gets the only dose of antidote. Guda flat out telling them what hand they’d throw was perfectly in character but I genuinely adored Gordolf completely throwing the match and faking that it was an accident and that Guda got the antidote fair and square, after having it pointed out that he never once tried to lord it over Guda that he saved their life from the poison. When Guda forces him to drink it, Gordolf’s complete dedication to getting them the antidote and refusing to let Guda die because he’s the director and he is personally responsible for all their safety, that’s good stuff. I love Gordolf very very much, and I think that this Lostbelt really gives him some shining moments that emphasize why he’s so wonderful.

I think that is basically all the minor characters barring the village boy, who I will get to in a bit, but if you’re noticing a trend it’s that they’re mostly fine, inoffensive. Nothing stands out as truly genuinely very bad, but for the most part they’re all wasted potential. They exist to fulfil exactly one role, and then hang around long past their welcome in most cases, with Han Xin, Li Shuwen, and Lanling managing to avoid that, albeit in the first two more due to their overall lack of presence until the very end.

Now, Liangyu. Here’s where things start to break down a bit.

In this Lostbelt, Qin Liangyu is a warrior who distinguished herself enough to be frozen in Mt. Li, where Qin keeps their heroes to be used when necessary. Alongside Han Xin, she’s defrosted to handle the Chaldea threat. Her major point of focus in the chapter is engaging with the “Confucianism” that Chaldea represents. She’s the one who hears the poem first, she’s who reports it to Qin, she’s who steals the Shadow Border and who ends up confronting Chaldea first when they get to Xiangyang. When we finally get to hear her conviction, why she is so willing to fight for her home...

It’s revealed that Qin destroyed her village, her family. They had been inspired, not to rebel, but to simply seek to govern themselves and live as a nation outside of Qin’s domain. Qin’s response was to fire a meteor at their village. When the instigator escaped, he tried to do it again, and that was why Liangyu fights. To avoid the needless death and suffering that is guaranteed by opposing Qin.

No one is horrified by this. No one reacts to her blaming the victims for wanting a better life. No one points out that her loyalty comes entirely from a place of fear and loss, that Qin took away everything she held dear and then threatened to do it again and again and again. She fights because Qin would otherwise wipe out everyone, and this is heralded as splendid loyalty and honest devotion, despite the fact that it’s effectively the same logic as why someone might not resist their abusive partner. That is all Liangyu is meant to do, show us some kind of loyalty and validity to Qin’s path, and they even have Mashu lost for words when she is confronted. All to show us that true loyalty is submission, and that it’s a valid and good reason to fight, to be too scared of the tyrant above you wiping out everything if you don’t. Not something to oppose Qin for, but something to commend them for inspiring.

That reading, despite being a clearly obvious one, isn’t ever once entertained by the story. No one points out Qin’s tyranny as the starting point for Liangyu’s suffering, even though it clearly is. It’s not that it’s refuted, it just never once comes up, because the characters acknowledging it or challenging it would hurt the clumsy point it really wants to make.

As a digression, this Lostbelt is a step back for Mashu. Her climatic character moment in Part 1 is rejecting a world without suffering and having the purest conviction necessary to block Ars Almodel Salomonis, but now she’s shaken and starts thinking that maybe that was a mistake all because it was only a possible future she rejected with Goetia, instead of the actual people in front of her? I can’t see that as anything but a regression, considering it was a point that her conviction was able to overcome the most powerful attack in the series even as it destroyed her body to protect those behind her. It’s done almost entirely to make us question whether or not Qin has a point, and given that the answer to that is a resounding and obvious “no” all it ends up doing is taking a hammer to Mashu’s solidly built up character every time she responds to an obviously flawed argument with “...” to give it unearned validity.

Spartacus next. He is an honest to goodness genuine joy. There are a few bright spots in this Lostbelt and Spartacus is one of them. He is very well written, allowed to think and philosophize about the nature of rebellion and whether it’s needed, and his musings on why he rebelled and whether or not it was justified to rebel against Qin when their people smiled so innocently like he’d always hoped for was unironically fantastic character work. His sacrifice reigniting the will to ask for more inside the people to the point of connecting to the Throne once more is absolutely fantastic, and his interactions with Mordred are great too. I absolutely do not have a single bad thing to say about him, he’s just wonderful.

Jing Ke. She’s a delight. She is a constant denier of everything that Qin suggests, and she functions as a beacon of good sense in the chapter. Where others are falling prey to some nonsense writing that makes them wonder if they’re doing the right thing, Jing is constantly pointing out the horrible, horrible tyranny going on, and constantly reminding people that Qin is in fact, a monster. Her final moments, getting to trick Qin into downloading a virus, arguing against them on philosophical grounds and then mocking them when they’re surprised that she would use that as a chance to kill them, and the argument itself of humanity’s virtues being in its ability to communicate and progress even if they don’t have a certainty of peace ahead of them, all of it was great. I’m sad she died and never got a chance to see Guda again in the Lostbelt, but all in all, she was well written.

Xiang Yu and Yu Meiren. This is where things get really, truly, genuinely disappointing. As concepts, they’re really cool. Xiang Yu as a machine built from the body of a god with the ability to calculate and compute the future giving him an inhuman mindset is a really neat idea, as is Meiren being effectively a True Ancestor. Them finding love as two non-humans who understood each other where no one else did is good in theory.

In practice, Xiang Yu and Yu Meiren’s romance, the emotional core of the chapter, is without question the worst romance written in the Lostbelts thus far, and probably the worst romance in the game. It isn’t until chapter 13 of this 16 chapter game that we get any exploration of it at all beyond Meiren being devoted to Xiang Yu to the point that she completely cripples her own agency as an interesting and individual character to work entirely for Qin when they threaten Xiang Yu’s life, and the exploration we do get is just...explaining how Xiang Yu is a robot and how he lived in Panhuman History. No examination of their mutual feelings, just Meiren describing how her Xiang Yu lived.

This Lostbelt is not a reuniting of lovers long past. This is Meiren finding a man who shared an origin with her lover and devoting herself entirely to him, even though they aren’t the same person at all. This could have been an incredible hook!

Imagine if this Lostbelt looked at Meiren’s two thousand years of stagnation in mourning for Xiang Yu and her sole desire being to be reunited with him and then it gave her her wish. She betrayed her own history for the Lostbelt’s, because it gave her a chance to see her beloved again, but this Xiang Yu is not her Xiang Yu. He doesn’t even answer to the same name, doesn’t recognise her at all. Having thrown away everything that connected her to Panhuman History just to see her beloved again, she is now trapped in a world she doesn’t recognise with a man who isn’t her Xiang Yu, her sole connection being...Gao Changgong, a regular human from Panhuman History. The greatest of ironies, her only meaningful connection being one of the humans she hates, because she sacrificed everything for a man who doesn’t even know her name.

Lostbelt 3 is a story about stagnation and the dangers of easy ignorance, but Meiren’s story doesn’t engage with that central theme whatsoever. Hers is a story entirely about how she merely existed just to exist before she met Xiang Yu and after he died, and her only experience being happy was with him. A few short years in literal millennia of existence are all that she cares about, and indeed she doesn’t change even slightly over all those years. And despite this stagnation leading her to consign her own history to death, the history that her Xiang Yu is from and fought for, the story never once engages with that. She is, in fact, rewarded in the end by becoming a Heroic Spirit and getting reunited with her Xiang Yu.

And really, that’s what gets me. They have a perfect setup to tie into the theme of the Lostbelt, how an uncertain future of progression is sincerely better than a stagnant peace born of ignorance, and they don’t tie their Crypter into it nearly as well as LB1 or even LB2. Kadoc is obsessed with conflict and overcoming Guda to prove his own strength in a reflection of how Lostbelt 1 is a hellscape where might makes right, and Ophelia is stuck doing nothing but following her role without a choice in a reflection of Surtr existing only to fulfill his role, being capable only of destruction and incapable of changing that. In contrast...Meiren doesn’t engage with SIN’s theme of the worthiness of peace at the cost of stagnation at all, really.

I’m talking a lot about what she could be instead of what she is, because what she is is obsessed with Xiang Yu. Her sole concern in every single appearance besides her single moment of independent characterization with Gao on his deathbed is Xiang Yu. She sacrifices her initial independence to obey Qin for Xiang Yu’s sake, she fights for nothing more than Xiang Yu’s sake, she wants nothing more than to be with Xiang Yu forever, even if it’s not her Xiang Yu, even if it’s sacrificing the world her Xiang Yu fought for. She chooses the peace of stagnation and is never once punished or even questioned for it. She tells Lostbelt Xiang Yu about his history in her world, and then he tells her that he understands why her Xiang Yu loves her, and then decides on the spot that he loves her too. That’s it.

Every other existing romance that they play back into in Fate is one that they put effort into selling. I mean, just think about Sigurd and Bryn! Imagine if, instead of all the little touches and bits in the chapter where they go in hard on selling that Sigurd and Bryn are madly in love with each other, they just didn’t have that. Imagine if Kadoc and Anastasia barely interacted except for Kadoc telling Anastasia how her past went. It really feels like Urobuchi looked at Meiren and Xiang Yu’s existing famous romance and decided that he just didn’t need to sell it, even though it literally wasn’t the same people involved.

And to be clear, I understand the intention. Xiang Yu has an alien mindset because of his calculation of the future, and this alien mindset means that he does things that are hard to understand for us. But at the end of the day, Lostbelt Xiang Yu hears a single story about himself in Panhuman History and decides that it makes sense that, given everything he and Meiren experienced there, that they would fall in love. And then he chooses to fall in love too, in the span of a single conversation. That isn’t believable, but more to the point it isn’t satisfying. This isn’t a great reuniting of lovers, it’s Meiren telling a stranger how a hypothetical alternate timeline version of him lived and him deciding he loves her because of that one single story.

And the way this love is represented is...it’s kinda typical Urobuchi. Meiren’s tragedy is undersold and given second billing to talking about how tragic Xiang Yu’s life was and how bad it made her feel and how she wished she could have done something, while LB Xiang Yu ignores her plea to stay and to not fight anymore by declaring that he must fight for the Lostbelt because of his programming, not for her, and then after he’s defeated and Guda beats Qin he declares that he’s actually madly in love with Meiren and will ignore her stated wishes again to fight until he dies, whereupon he promptly talks about dying with regret for leaving Meiren behind and quotes the poem and everyone claps. This great romance begins by Meiren telling Xiang Yu about how sad his life was in her history, is defined solely by Xiang Yu doing anything he wants at any time while Meiren feels sad about it, and ends with Xiang Yu ignoring Meiren’s wishes to sacrifice himself for absolutely nothing and to have it later revealed he knew exactly how she would react to this and did it anyway.

It’s not that I don’t buy the romance, it’s that I can’t buy it. It’s every terrible romance you’ve seen in fiction before where there’s no chemistry to sell it but the author keeps telling you how perfect they are for each other, only in this case the author tells you how perfect Meiren and Panhistory Xiang Yu are for each other and then shrugs and decides that Lostbelt Xiang Yu is basically the same anyway so it works. And it really, really does not.

The Xiang Yu of Panhistory is somewhat interesting from what we hear in the chapter, but Lostbelt Xiang Yu is very bland and Yu Meiren is just a tragically wasted character. Instead of a story of being shaken out of stagnation and learning to grow and move forward, we get a story of stagnation being the good and right choice for her. Instead of a story of trying to make the past happen again instead of acknowledging that they are two different people who cannot simply pretend everything is as it was, we get a story where Lostbelt Xiang Yu decides it makes sense that an alternate universe version of himself would fall in love with Meiren, and then skips all the actual development to decide he’s madly in love with her too. Instead of a story of Meiren realizing that her closest connection for the longest time was a living human and that she can live for more than just the memory of a man long dead, we get Meiren’s character being solely, completely about Xiang Yu from beginning to end, and even later in Chaldea where she exists for nothing more than “haha married couple” jokes.

There is, to be clear, an attempt at relating this to the other theme of the chapter, humanity. Meiren and Xiang Yu are both discriminated against for their inhumanity, and it’s pointed out that they’re so fitting for each other because they, as non-humans, understood each other. I think this could have worked if it was given more emphasis, but as it stands it just kinda...isn’t. It, and they, take a backseat to Qin’s emphasis on this theme, so all this theme does for them is another justification as to why they are totally in love and why Urobuchi doesn’t have to write them actually being in love.

And then Xiang Yu dies, and Meiren goes crazy because her entire world and every facet of her character revolves around one man, and we have to kill her because he ignored her pleas and then died knowing he would die and knowing she would go crazy when he died. This, after spending the entire chapter from the first time we meet her being completely ineffective and failing at every turn, only becoming a threat once she devours her own Servant and even then only for a few minutes before she ceases to be relevant. Thanks, Urobuchi. Love it when you write women.

It’s a genuine disappointment, because you could do so much with Meiren and Lostbelt Xiang Yu bonding as themselves, not as Meiren from 2000 years ago and Xiang Yu from Panhistory, and with Meiren being able to honour her love without letting it chain her down to stagnation like it did in practice. But they don’t do any of that. They tell us that this great romance exists without putting in any of the work, and then expect it to work. And for me? It didn’t, at all. It is again, without a doubt the worst romance in this arc, and probably the worst romance in FGO.

Finally, Qin.

I think Qin is a fantastic villain. They are completely, utterly loathsome in every way, and the early chapters with Spartacus and Jing Ke around really highlight it. Spartacus’s musings about rebellion culminate in a reassurance that it is in fact right and just to rebel against the oppressor that is Qin despite the peace they offer, and Jing Ke consistently and constantly responds to all their justifications by pointing out what absolute drivel they are. It is a sincerely excellent setup for a Lostbelt King that isn’t a tragic case of someone trying to save what they can after a horrible accident, but one who in their arrogance created a hellscape that was pruned solely due to their own tyranny. Qin is the perfect balance of hypocritical and arrogant and cruel while being utterly convinced of their own perfection to make a fantastic villain to break out of the “tragic king after apocalypse” type we’d had for the first two Lostbelts, and has the perfect ingredients to a tie-in back to Goetia and how Goetia earned the title of “King of Humans” in their final moments.

But, unfortunately, the chapter starts softening up on them as it goes on. Where before, we had people calling them out for tyranny and obvious wrongdoing, by the end we have Holmes praising them for shouldering the difficult responsibility of humanity all by themselves and being the one we get on our Lostbelt CE, a spot reserved before for the inhabitants of the Lostbelt that we befriend. Because, ultimately, the Lostbelt doesn’t want to condemn Qin.

What Qin does is monstrous in the extreme, but by the end of the Lostbelt it feels like the game has forgotten that. Instead of pointing out the obvious problem in Liangyu’s loyalty being based on the certainty that Qin would murder everyone if she didn’t do it for them, Mashu and Guda have to just accept that it’s valid. Instead of reminding themselves of Spartacus and Jing Ke’s rejection of Qin as a tyrant, they praise them for taking over the responsibility of humanity. Instead of having the Lostbelt represented by the boy who dared to look up and dream of something more, it’s instead represented by Qin descending to live among humanity in their final days. Even Qin’s final act for Meiren has them claim without irony that they guide their people by the light of reason, when the entire chapter has been about how Qin uses threats of incredible violence to control everyone and how they had to conquer the world by force to enact this horrible regime, and no one points out the shocking hypocrisy in Qin claiming that they guide through reason instead of, you know. Giant meteors.

I didn’t name that boy, because the story doesn’t name that boy. In a story that is ostensibly about the horror of humanity being stripped of everything that makes them an individual and showing us that the spark and drive to be different and to learn and grow and change still exists even after over two thousand years of Qin trying to stamp it out, they don’t name the boy. This isn’t because names don’t exist in Qin’s empire, because explicitly the heroes are all named, and implicitly such a massive divergence would need to be highlighted in some way, so it’s not an intentional dehumanization which would actually fit.

Instead, despite this child being the first citizen who dares to enjoy a poem and who dares to step outside the boundaries of his village, despite him being proof positive that Qin’s tireless attempts at stamping out the human spirit are doomed to failure even after ruling the entire world for hundreds of years, despite him being inspired by Spartacus’s cry of rebellion against the tyranny of the world he was born in...he doesn’t have a name. And that really hurts the Lostbelt, I feel, because it just doesn’t take the time to even name our Lostbelt friend. He is, ultimately, not important. The symbol of the Lostbelt is Qin as the ultimate human, despite the entire point of the Lostbelt being that it’s a rejection of this concept, that Qin’s choice of becoming the one and only human is wrong and that the individuality of Panhistory is superior. Instead of enshrining the boy who dared to be different in the CE, pride of place is given to Qin.

That’s my biggest issue with Qin, really. We are given a perfect setup for Qin as a villain and indeed do reject their whole worldview and ideals and everything as being completely wrong, to the point that Holmes even rejects the idea that they are a human. In the final parts of the chapter, Holmes declares that the defense Qin dedicated themselves to is the domain of a god, and that despite their insistence that they did so as the only human and that they rejected becoming a god, ultimately they were deluding themselves, having simply taken on the role of a god while declaring themselves a human. This is the harshest condemnation that Qin ever gets and the final culmination of theme of humanity and what it really is that’s there throughout the Lostbelt, a complete and total rejection of the idea that one can do what Qin did and still claim to be human.

But instead of engaging with this, the story softens up on Qin by the end because it wants you to roll for them. It’s exactly what happened with Skadi, a solid character and path built up from the beginning and then swerving towards the end to make them more likeable. That Qin is the one on our Lostbelt CE and that it’s all about how Qin did their best to “shoulder the responsibility” for mankind instead of highlighting their tyranny is just kinda emblematic of how the story treats it once Jing Ke is gone, because when she’s not in the party people stop pointing out the obvious tyranny going on, and when she’s dead everyone starts acting like Qin is almost reasonable and that their path was a valid one that wasn’t so wrong, even though theirs was more right. It even completely ignores Koyanskaya pointing out that Qin loves humanity like an owner loves its pets, not as actual individuals, but this love is treated as completely valid thereafter instead of being a huge problem.

Big Big Spoilers For Qin’s Interlude Now, Skip Ahead To The Next Bolded Section If You Don’t Want To See Them

One of the reasons I’m so harsh on them for what could, in context, be seen as relatively minor softening up on Qin compared to the actual defeat we deal them is because of this Interlude. As a brief overview, Qin completely ignores the ending of their Lostbelt, which lasts for three months despite every other Lostbelt lasting a day at most before it vanishes and the implication of the final chapter being that it’s ending soon, returns to Epang Palace despite it having been destroyed and corrupted with a virus and despite having promised to live as a human on the ground with the rest of the world until the end, and then uses the data on the Shadow Border that somehow survived the virus and destruction of the palace to somehow construct a machine that allows them to create Singularities.

They then use this to create a bunch of Singularities related to “what-ifs” where they were a cruel king who ruled over Xiangyang and murdered all their subjects so they can piggyback on the Human Order instead of being destroyed with their Lostbelt and everyone in it, and then keeps the Singularities around as time bombs to destroy Panhistory like Goetia did if they ever feel like Guda might lose. When this is figured out, no one in the know bothers to tell Guda to protect their feelings, and no one intervenes in any way or challenges Qin in any regard besides telling them to believe in Guda.

This interlude turned Qin into the most loathsome character in the game for me. They declared they would put it all on the line challenging Guda and then lost and stepped aside, even helping to destroy the Tree of Fantasy, and even having Da Vinci praise their grace in stepping aside when it was clear that they had lost. But that didn’t happen.

Instead, Qin lied. Qin pulled the trigger on everyone in their entire world and then decided that they didn’t actually want to uphold their end of the bargain, so they abandoned the people they swore to live alongside until the end and constructed a scenario where they have the sole authority to destroy all of human history forever if they feel like it, something made possible only because author fiat dictated that they still had the data and the capacity to use it after the twofold destruction of the Epang Palace and only because author fiat dictated that their Lostbelt lasted for months after the Tree was destroyed when every other Lostbelt disappears after hours. And all this happens because fundamentally, they don’t want Qin to be wrong, and they don’t think Qin was wrong. They pay lip service to the idea, but the end result is that Qin is always meant to have a point, and that despite having people point out their obvious hypocrisy at ther start like Jing Ke, by the end of the Lostbelt and beyond you are meant to take them at face value as a Hard Enby Making Hard Decisions doing their best to save the entire world.

SPOILERS FOR THE INTERLUDE OVER, YOU’RE SAFE NOW

To begin the summary for Qin as a character, I’d like to point out Fate’s relationship with Great Man theory. This theory is, in brief, a suggestion that the course of history is largely influenced by exceptional individuals and leaders that exert their will on the world as a result of their own superb capabilities, such as being more intelligent, charismatic, powerful etc. than all other men around them. This is obviously a theory with a bunch of holes, but what’s interesting is that Fate has always engaged with this idea and has always refuted it conclusively.

In Fate, if you are a single human trying to save the world, you will fail. Kiritsugu’s chasing of the Grail and his ultimate failure because of his own flaws making it physically impossible for him to consider a path to salvation that didn’t involve killing is a rejection of Great Man theory. Shirou understanding that one single person cannot possibly save everyone in the world is a rejection of Great Man theory. Amakusa’s inability to save the world in any way besides erasing free will is a rejection of Great Man theory. Goetia’s decision to erase history and start again to make something better and his ultimate defeat is a massive rejection of Great Man theory. Zelretch, for all his insane power, is literally paralyzed by that selfsame power into not being able to do anything, while someone like Aoko who doesn’t think of anything but what’s right in front of her is actually able to accomplish things because she doesn’t try transcending the limits of what a human is capable of. It is one of the Nasuverse’s most consistent themes, that it is fundamentally wrong and doomed to fail if you ever attempt to impress your will on the entire world in a misguided attempt to save it.

And yet Qin simply doesn’t engage with that. Qin is Great Man theory distilled into a character, and by the end of the Lostbelt and beyond the game gives up on challenging that. They declare themselves as the ultimate human with the sole responsibility to administrate mankind and despite losing, the game respects them and their path and refuses to condemn them the same way that it condemned Ivan for doing all he could to save his people, even if it meant inflicting his own ideas on the entire human race. And that’s a consistent problem with the last two Lostbelts, but it sticks out more for Qin because Qin didn’t face an apocalypse. Qin brought the world to an end with their own two hands, but the game simply cannot keep up the condemnation as much as it should, because it wants you to like them and wants you to roll them and spend money to do so. And that’s where Qin falters for me. They’re a fantastic villain, but the game doesn’t let them be a villain, regardless of how much it clashes not just with FGO’s themes, but with one of the overarching ideas behind a lot of stuff in the Nasuverse as a whole.

I’ve basically talked about the thematics and the characters together in the last section, so this is just me talking about its construction as a story here as a short(er) final roundup.

It’s badly written, really. Like I mentioned earlier, basically nothing happens for about half the chapter and then the latter half puts the pedal to the metal and speedruns its way through everything. Nothing is given the time or dedication it needs besides Spartacus’s sacrifice in the chapter, I feel, and that works to its extreme detriment.

In terms of things that happen, it strained my sense of disbelief as bad or worse than Lostbelt 2 did. I knew it was going to be rough when Mordred, one of the Knights of the Round Table who was easily able to go toe-to-toe with Siegfried and stomp most people she fought in previous appearances, ends up firing her Noble Phantasm at Xiang Yu and doing no damage whatsoever despite being a direct hit, and then Xiang Yu ends up defeating a group of four Servants including powerhouses like Mordred and Spartacus without breaking a sweat and explicitly while holding back.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, that I’m starting to sound like some BLer who cares for nothing besides calculations and VS debates and whatnot, but that’s not what I’m about. I don’t care to argue whether my favorite Servant could beat Goku or not, partially because the answer is an obvious yes because they’re my favorite, but mostly because that’s just not really relevant for a story.

What is relevant, however, is the idea of suspension of disbelief. In telling a story, you don’t need to be realistic, but you need to be consistent. Having internal consistency is a vital part of selling your work to the audience, because if they start thinking that anything can happen at any time because the author wants it to happen, they can get pulled out of the story real quick. If you introduce someone as being Double God and being able to wipe the floor with every single one of the protagonists without breaking a sweat, you have to make sure that when or if they are defeated, their defeat is internally consistent. Either they lose their strength somehow, or the protagonists find some way to power up or change their tactics or do something different to defeat them next time they fight. When you pull a victory or defeat out of your ass without some kind of internal consistency, you had better make sure that you’ve got your themes on point, because if you’ve failed in making something internally consistent and you can’t justify the event happening because it fits perfectly with the themes of the work, then it takes people out real quick.

That’s where this Lostbelt falls down really hard in terms of story construction outside of its characters, because it has neither. Xiang Yu is introduced as an unstoppable murdermachine that we can only hold off temporarily or wait for him to retreat, even when that means devaluing our own Servants’ capabilities and making Mordred who is a Knight of the Round table look like a chump. But then later, Spartacus vaporizes a meteor with nothing but his Noble Phantasm, except Xiang Yu was just straight up too much for him, even though Xiang Yu is pretty much the greatest symbol of Qin’s oppression and its source, the incredible violence that they are willing and able to visit upon anyone at any time if they feel like it. Spartacus loses horribly to one symbol and then annihilates the other and it feels weird.

Later, we’re also introduced to Meiren being a True Ancestor with infinite mana who curses us so badly that we only survive with Koyanskaya’s aid. Even Koyanskaya is urging us to run and there’s explicitly nothing we can do to her. That’s fine! It’s a good setup for a really tough boss! But what it means is that now we have two people set up as completely unbeatable even with all the help we have, including Red Hare and Chen Gong. That’s an awkward setup that really needs a solid resolution, especially when the final battle with them is fighting both, together, while both are completely fresh and Chaldea has just fought their way through Xiangyang, defeating Liangyu, Han Xin and the royal guards, and Li Shuwen.

And the game doesn’t engage with it. We beat them both despite them both individually being able to wipe us out earlier in the chapter, and despite nothing having changed for us. If anything, they should have the advantage of conviction, or at least Xiang Yu should. But we beat them and Nezha gives some nonsense about how Xiang Yu lost because he never had any rivals to fight against, despite him having been used to conquer the world, and despite him having fought alongside the great heroes enshrined in Mt. Li during these conquests. Meiren isn’t even acknowledged, which isn’t much of a surprise, but it is disappointing. Despite her being held up as an insurmountable threat at first, she’s not even considered worth mentioning in favor of talking about Xiang Yu.

That problem continues along with Qin, who comes at us with a Grand class Saint Graph and whom we end up defeating all by ourselves, not as a battle of wills but flat out defeating them, even though we only have Mashu, Red Hare, Nezha, and Mordred who have all been exhausted fighting through all of Xiangyang. People are hyped up as insanely dangerous and then lose not because of the thematics and not because the story has constructed things so that their loss makes sense, but just because the author says it happens. All the battles are handled with in-game battles, which the game grew out of a long, long time ago. The difference between the climactic battles with Ivan and Surtr and the climactic battle with Qin in terms of actual writing is night and day, and the sole saving grace, that it is explicitly characterized as a conflict between the two philosophies and a battle of which one comes out on top, just isn’t enough to overcome the insane hype of being on par with a Grand that Qin gets for absolutely no reason. It devalues Grands and it made the victory against them feel unearned even with the idea that it’s a conflict of philosophies, which I usually eat up. To compare it to the great example of that in Fate, it feels like Shirou VS Archer, except instead of the point being that Archer cannot bring himself to fully deny Shirou’s ideals and is defeated by Shirou reminding him of their beauty even though he wields the power to crush Shirou instantly if he wanted, it’s like Shirou proved his point about ideals by beating Archer up fair and square. It just isn’t nearly as well written.

It isn’t all bad. Like I mentioned, Spartacus, Jing Ke, Gordolf, they were all genuine delights that I loved. The meteor, the assassination, those were both excellent scenes. But overall, the Lostbelt was half nothing happening and then the latter half made up of one or two cool moments with a hell of a lot of bad shit connecting them. Its theme of stagnation is indecisive and muddled because of Qin and Meiren, its theme of humanity has its conclusion ignored and conflicts with the overall idea of Great Men in the Nasuverse, its treatment of its female characters barring Jing is uncomfortable at best, and it tries to sell us a romance without putting in any of the actual legwork to make it believable.

I wish Lostbelt 3 had been better. I can see easy routes to make it better. But more than anything I wish that Meiren had been done better. She’s an immortal True Ancestor who has lived for thousands of years and seen the birth of modern humanity, living through so much of our history, and instead of having a story of learning how to break free of her stagnation she’s just obsessed with a male character who isn’t remotely as focused on her to the extent that every choice and decision she makes in the chapter is focused entirely around him. It’s just...uncomfortable.

For all the hooks she had as a character, Meiren is reduced to an accessory for her man, and I think that’s a crying shame.

#FGO #Fate/Grand Order #Fate Grand Order #cosmos in the lostbelt #Synchronized Intelligence Nation #SIN #lostbelt #FGO spoilers #Lostbelt 3 #Shi Huang Di #Qin Shi Huang #Xiang Yu

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skekheck · 5 years ago

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All About the Seven Clans: the Stonewood

THIS POST CONTAINS EVERYTHING I COULD FIND ABOUT THE STONEWOOD. SOME INFORMATION WRITTEN HERE ARE FROM OLDER MATERIAL AND MAY EITHER CONTRADICT STATEMENTS OR IS NO LONGER RELEVANT. I WILL DO MY BEST TO STRING IT ALL TOGETHER AS COHERENTLY AS POSSIBLE. IF THERE IS INFORMATION THAT I AM MISSING, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I’LL ADD IT!

Clan Index: Dousan Drenchen Grottan Sifa Spriton Stonewood Vapra

The Stonewood, once known as the Woodland Folk in ancient times, lived in the Endless Forest (or in other versions called the Dark Wood). Made strong and resilient from their environment, they were the perfect soldiers and constituted the majority of the skeksis army. While they were a warrior clan, the Stonewood were peaceful who valued gelfling culture and songs. Their hometown, Stone-in-the-Wood, was the site of major historical events throughout Thra’s history.

The Stonewood totem animal was the Fizzgig and their core elements were fire, the hearth, and keeping of the song and essence of gelfling culture. Their clan color was red, their sigil was beige and green with earthy tones, and their pennant color was red with green and yellow detail.

Characteristics

The Stonewood were some of the strongest and hardiest of all gelfling. They had an olive complexion with green or greenish-blue tinting. Like gelfling from other clans, Stonewood tints were visible on the face but were restricted to the forehead, temples, and around the the eyes. Hair was black, brown, or a mix of both with highlighted sections of blue and/or green. Styling was very minimal with some braiding and styled up in ribbons or clips, but were mostly kept loose. Eye color tended to be blue or various shades of brown. In the J.M. Lee book series, Stonewood wings came in a variety of colors. Shoni, Rian’s mother, had brown and red wings with two large black eyespots accented by other dapples of orange, gold, tan. Maudra Fara in this version had dark burgundy and gold wings.

Stonewood clothing was described to have browns and other natural foresty shades like greens and grays. They preferred to wear leathered armor over regular civilian clothes regardless of their profession. They were also known to carry light weapons on them at all times.

Lifestyle

Strength, courage, and hardiness were traits the Stonewood valued and emphasized, especially towards other clans. The Stonewood way was to remain put and endure so they grew strong and prospered. All of these values made them perfect warriors. But despite this, the Stonewood were very peaceful. Much like the Fizzgig, their totem animal, they only fought to defend themselves. There was a heavier focus on the community as well as culture and song.

The Stonewood had great respect for nature, but were also aware that they lived in one of the most dangerous regions on Thra. They understood that no gelfling was on top of the food chain and had to adapt to an eat or be eaten world. They favored a hunter-defender archetype: to understand the cycle of life and have the knowledge to protect oneself as well as their loved ones. But they chose to abide by the laws of nature and frowned upon things like hunting for sport.

The Stonewood Clan had the second largest population of all seven clans, only succeeded by the Vapra. Thanks to an abundance of resources provided by the forest as well as by other clans and the skeksis, their population flourished during the Age of Division. There were smaller Stonewood villages spread out all over the forest to compensate for the clan’s size. This process was difficult for them to accept as it went against some of their traditional values. The Stonewood were known to be slightly more advanced than other gelfling clans as they had sophisticated weaponry and armament to protect their homes with.

Daily Routine

A Stonewood’s day started off with the sound of clangs of blacksmith hammers early in the morning. The maudra and her elder council assigned daily tasks to all adult gelfling. Those whose jobs took them outside of the village said their good byes and departed early. The others that stayed met with their groups to discuss the day’s plan. Work continued until sunset when the clan’s hearth is lit for the communal supper with the accompaniment of a song or two. Lanterns full of firebugs were kept alighted for gelfling working nightshifts.

Aside from nightly songtelling, the Stonewood had other pastimes. The most notable of them were sports and competitions. Regardless of whoever won, all Stonewood showed great sportsmanship and encouraged one another. A popular pastime among childlings were Ipsy battles. During mating seasons, the otherwise peaceful male Ipsy would fight other males for the affection of the female. Childlings would collect Ipsy males and staged battles between them. When the battles concluded the childlings would return the unscathed Ipsy males back to the forest.

As a large industrious community, the Stonewood Clan had a variety of jobs. There were blacksmiths, woodcrafters, stoneworkers, firekeepers, gardeners, hunters, and a dozen other specialists. Unlike in most clans, songtellers were seen as integral to the Stonewood as other occupations. The clan had unique professions as well. One were wayfinders: they were responsible for helping travelers on their journey and kept them from getting lost within the Endless Forest. Sometimes, a wayfinder would spend days aiding a gelfling. Another was staba-senta or “wood watchers”. They were more keenly aware of the balance of creatures within the wood and were charged with maintaining and upholding it.

Stone-and-Wood Crafting

Inspired by their environment’s requirements for resilience, the Stonewood turned the trade of stone-and-wood crafting into an art. It was a highly sought out skill for its high difficulty and importance in fortifying the village. Stone-and-wood crafters were able to weave wood, trees, and stone together to create many homes for the clan. It took many trine to learn the skills and even more to execute them. A woodcrafter would spend their entire life growing wood into specific shapes. For stone cravers it took generations to shape a single rock.

Although some Stonewood used metal swords and the like, hunters and trappers preferred stone tipped spears and finely crafted stone daggers. Stonewood spears, their preferred weapon, were renowned for their durability and perfect balance.

Stone-in-the-Wood’s Famous Instrument Makers

Among Stonewood’s crafters lived one family who were famous for their instruments. They were often away from the village collecting materials from all over Thra. They built their instruments from ordinary materials like wood and stone, but also mixed unusual ones. Some items included melted crystal sand, Sifan driftwood, fine shards of bone, and hollow feathers. It was said that the materials used in these instruments invoked the voice of Thra itself. Among their instruments, their lyres were the most popular. Even the All-Maudra’s musicians sought them out for their unique sound. Despite being busy, the family took up apprentices so they too could create unique instruments.

Stonewood Legends: Jarra-Jen

Songtelling and folklore were an important part of Stonewood culture and they had plenty of songs about famous characters and legends to tell every night around the hearth. One of these popular characters was Jarra-Jen the Lightning Born who came from Stone-in-the-Wood. As his epitaph suggested, his birth was heralded by lightning. He was characterized as fearless, charming, and curious with an intensity only rivaled by the forces of nature. Whenever he returned home, he��d always brought treasure and mouth-full of stories from his adventures. Many of his stories were told around campfires and memorialized on the stone slabs found on top of Bolentor’s rise.

Some songs were created to explain the origins of things such as him being the one to plant all seven Great Trees. Others were meant to entertain or teach lessons, whether they were true or not. One favorite epic was called Jarra-Jen and the Horn of Thunder. After passing a series of tasks, Jarra-Jen defeated the tyrant Creghel and freed the gelfling he enslaved. Another song, which was more popular with younglings, was called Jarra-Jen and the Fizzgig King. It taught younglings from digging and accidentally disturbing hibernating fizzgigs during the colder seasons. Jarra-Jen accidentally steps on the Fizzgig King’s tail and was swallowed hole. In order to free himself, the hero tickled the inside of the king’s throat which expelled him. The sound effect of the king’s flatulence was left up to the songtellers to put their own unique signature on the song.

While Jarra-Jen was a Stonewood legendary figure, his tales were told and celebrated by other clans and regarded as a hero of Thra.

Stonewood Legends: The Hunter

For every hero there was also a villain and no Stonewood villain was as popular as the Hunter. He went by other names like Bone-Mask and Four-Arms, but many agreed that he was a bloodthirsty one-of-a-kind monster who loved hunting for sport and ate his prey whole. Stories about the Hunter were told to older childlings to keep them from wondering the forest at night, like the short song “Beware the Hunter”. Legends of the Hunter were found all over the Endless Forest and surrounding regions, even finding their way in Spriton and Podling stories. “The Hunter’s Knife” was a notable non-Stonewood myth sourcing the Mystic Valley as the Hunter’s birth place and the noises that came from it was his heart (which he carved out to continue his evil deed unrestrained) who desired to return to his body. Some songtellers, like Kylan, told stories featuring the Hunter and Jarra-Jen together.

Not many Gelfling believed the Hunter existed, but the legends were based on skekMal the Hunter. He was an outcast skeksis whose main hunting grounds were the Endless Forest and its surrounding regions. He was as bloodthristy and fearsome as the songs described him. So skilled was he in his profession that he remained undetected by most Gelfling, with the exception being the Dousan who guided him through the Crystal Desert. SkekMal’s prey didn’t usually include Gelfling unless under certain conditions as he, in his own words, considered weak and preferred stronger creatures. This was different in the book series as he hunted indiscriminately. He bathed in gelfling essence to mask his scent which made it easier for him to catch prey. He also prevented podlings from expanding outside of the forest and Spriton plains as he hunted them down and delivered some as slaves for the other Skeksis. Regardless, skekMal was always a terrifying force and feared by many even by his own kind.

SkekMal’s reign of terror finally ended at the Second Battle of Stone-in-the-Wood which was his (at least seemingly) first and last public appearance. Before killing Rian, his latest target, his other half urVa the Archer sacrificed his life in order to stop him. As the two were spiritually connected, skekMal died as well.

Diet

A Stonewood diet was varied which included meats from game caught by hunters and the many fruits, vegetables, and other edible plants growing in the dense forest. They would also purchase foods that couldn’t be grown or produced in the Endless Forest. Stonewood dishes were prepared near the clan’s hearth and were commonly roasted, baked, and seared. Food was served in groups and were noted to be jolly, hearty, and unforgettable.

Peachberries were one of the well known native fruits found in the Endless Forest. It had a sweet and sour flavor that was easy to pick. More dangerous to obtain fruits were that of the bluemouth. The bluemouth was a carnivorous plant that lures prey in with its sweet smelling nectar and were dangerous to Gelfling. The fruit of the Bluemouth Tree was considered a delicacy for that reason. The fruit of the arara (or screaming) tree was less dangerous. As a defense mechanism, it produced poison by screaming. It was deadly to smaller animals, but for Gelfling, it put them in a dreamlike daze. Other foods included merkeeps, a delicious tuber found in traditional Stonewood foods.

Stonewoods usually washed down their foods with a cup of cold water from the Black River. Other noteworthy beverages was the Stonewood Brew, a type of alcohol that trickled down from trees into a giant trough called the Brew Trough. Both natives and outsiders alike served themselves or each other with the cups stacked near by.

Stonewood Apothecary and Recreational Poisons

The Endless Forest had the most diverse flora and fauna, including ones that were venomous and poisonous. Stonewood apothecaries had an important role of supplying treatments and antidotes for a variety of inflictions gelfling received. And on the flip side, they found ways to use harmful substances for more benign ones. Even usually fatal poisons could be altered (through fire, water, or soil) and distilled into potable liquids. Plenty of these recreational poisons were traded among themselves and other clans.

One of the more involved distilling methods were from the poisons created by the arara tree. When produced in smaller quantities, it had a relaxing effect. Apothecaries got the help of experienced harvesters who stealthily picked the fruits off the tree before it had time to produce its signature scream. When given to the apothecaries, the berries were placed into bowls of water and the apothecary would scream in the perfect tone of the screaming tree. The berries would react and produced its slime which dissipated. It was later reduced into a measurable substance and bottled.

Stone-in-the-Wood, Hometown of the Stonewood

Stone-in-the-Wood was the main village of the Stonewood Clan. Like their namesake, they lived in shell and stone homes interwoven into trees. It was surrounded by mounds of rock and a lake that sat next to the Black River. It had sections for tourists and traders as well as private ones exclusive to Stonewoods only. The Crucible, the clan’s hearth, lied at its center with the Stonewood Great Hall beyond it.

The Great Hall was the home of the Stonewood Maudra. It had a large chamber where they held court. When a gelfling, or sometimes podling, misbehaved guards would send them into the Rascal Hole. It was a small jail held down beneath the floor of the Stonewood Great Hall and not too far from the maudra’s throne.

The village was the second largest gelfling settlement. It became a popular tourist and trading site as the village was a necessary stop to go anywhere in the Skarith region. Beyond that, Stone-in-the-Wood was believed to be the original home of the gelfling, making it one of the oldest gelfling civilizations. It was also the location of important historical events in Thra’s history.

The Historic Battles of Stone-in-the-Wood

Two historical battles took place in Stone-in-the-Wood. The first battle was also the conclusion of the Arathim Wars. When the Arathim were kicked out of their ancestral home by the skeksis for refusing to join the Alliance of the Crystal, they rebelled. The rebellion was a series of attacks throughout the Age of Division until thirty trine before where Age of Resistance series began. The First Battle of Stone-in-the-Wood began while Ordon and Fara searched for the dual glaive which was rumored to help end the war. The village was evacuated when the Arathim arrived with Maudra Vala and her warriors there to defend it. At first the Arathim had the upper hand, decimating the gelfling forces and inflicting a fatal wound against the maudra. She survived long enough to see Ordon arriving with the dual glaive. After killing several Arathim, he plunged his sword into an Ascendancy of Silk Spitters and drained them of its essence. Ordon promised to let the Arathim live if they stopped their assault on the gelfling. The weakened Ascendancy gave in and retreated from the village but promised this wasn’t the end. This event officially ended the Arathim Wars.

The Second Battle of Stone-in-the-Wood was the first major battle of the Gelfling Resistance. Stone-in-the-Wood previously had a failed assault on the skeksis in both the TV and book series where the Stonewood were thwarted by the skeksis or the Arathim. The survivors of that failed assault returned to join Rian and his small rebellion ready to fight the skeksis. There were casualties on both sides, including three skeksis and Maudra Fara who sacrificed her life protecting All-Maudra Seladon. But it also brought the return of Mother Aughra and unity of all inhabitants of Thra when the other six gelfling clans and their former enemies the Arathim proclaimed their support of the resistance. This was the gelfling’s first major victory fighting the skeksis.

Bolentor, the Pride of Stone-in-the-Wood

Also known as the Stone Tower, it was a large mount of rocks weaved together by vines, roots, and trees. The stone’s rise was where Stone-in-the-Wood was positioned. Its top was covered in talking stones featuring the dream-etched legends and folklore of the Stonewood Clan. It told of Jarra-Jen’s adventures, stories of Gyr the Songteller, and Aughra’s teachings. Strangely, many of the rocks that constructed the mound originated from other regions of of Thra like the Claw and Grottan Mountains. Speculation were all over the place from a giant moving the rocks there to being petrified droppings of an enormous bird.

A favorite theory came from the song called Maudra Melyff the Rock Singer. Though the gelfling in the tale was actually unnamed, many agreed that she fit the description. According to the song, the maudra was so lonely that when she sang the mountains were moved and offered their boulders to keep her company. A different version of this tale was found in the book series and the maudra was named Maudra Ynid the Tree Singer. Similarly alone, she wept at the heart of the Endless Forest and with the Cradle Tree’s blessing, stones multipled from the Earth and became Stone-in-the-Wood. She was also said to be the sister of Mesabi-Nara, one of the Drenchen’s first maudras.

The Stonewood had a name-day tradition that revolved around Bolentor and was considered a rite of passage. Younglings whose sixth name-day anniversary landed within the same season were sent to climb Bolentor without the guidance of adults with a chisel in hand. Once they reached the top, they found a stone and carved a sigil into it. That sigil became the sign of their name which was memorialized among hundreds of others before them.

The Crucible

At the center of Stone-in-the-Wood was the Crucible, both a monument and hearth. Like other gelfling hearths, it was the gathering place of the Stonewood during important occasions. It was where the maudra made her announcements and conducted ceremonies. Traders from other regions would come to the Crucible to be welcomed by the village.

Within the Crucible were dozens of swords and other weapons. It tied with a Stonewood tradition: whenever the clan returned from a battle, their warriors placed their weapons within the Crucible to be melted until there’s nothing left. It was the Stonewood’s way of leaving their aggressive acts and memories behind and go back to their normal lives. In some cases, the melted remains were used as other symbols. After Maudra Vala died, her sword was melted and forged into a crown. Her daughter and successor Fara wore it as a reminder of the battles that were fought, the cost of peace, and to never forget those who lost their lives.

It was one of many examples of the Stonewood’s relationship with their patron element fire. Gelfling from this clan were described to have “fire in their hearts and whose embers never died”. It’s no wonder that the Stonewood gelfling Rian was the one who lit the fires of resistance and sent out his message of rebellion through the Crucible.

The Wall of Destiny

The Wall of Destiny was a giant prophecy that foretold the end of skeksis rule. It was discovered by Jen and Kira when they stumbled upon ruins of a gelfling settlement. At least in the book series, its location resided within Stone-in-the-Wood. In that book’s version of the Second Battle, the gelfling defeated the skeksis through song and their combined singing formed the creation of the Wall of Destiny.

Another version of its creation happened when both Gelfling and Podling were taken as slaves by the skeksis. Dismayed, they looked into the fires of prophecy. Seven circles of seven Gelfling, (which totaled 49 Gelfling), laid on the hilltops at night. With magic their dreams were made into stone and the Wall of Destiny was created.

It told the Gelfling their quest: to find the lost Shard and heal the Crystal by the next Great Conjunction. However, the skeksis saw the prophecy too and feared the Gelfling would succeed. To stop them, the skeksis sent their Garthim and Crystal Bats to find and kill all gelfling. However, at least two survived: Jen of the Stonewood and Kira of the Vapra. Jen ultimately became the Gelfling foretold in prophecy that reunited the shard with the Crystal and ended skeksis rule.

Olyeka-Staba the Cradle Tree

The Cradle Tree was the Stonewood’s patron tree. It towered over all the others within the Endless Forest whose trunk was as wide as the Black River. It was the originator of all other trees and what the forest felt and heard was also heard and felt by the Cradle Tree. It was only a short distance from Stone-in-the-Wood and many gelfling visited it often. Stonewoods sat underneath the tree and hoped to hear its wisdom while others came to inspect it for illness as it determined the health of the entire forest. When one lied beneath it, they would experience a soothing sensation described as being cradled by one’s mother. “The Cradle Tree’s Lullaby” was a popular song sun by Stonewood mothers while rocking their childlings to sleep.

Like the other Great Trees, the Cradle Tree struggled to keep the darkening at bay. In the book series, the Cradle Tree was so sick with it that it displayed vivid hallucinations which preyed on the fears of the individual. Both Naia and Kylan went through this ordeal with Naia being haunted by apparitions of her brother and Tavra. It also attacked her with vines and roots until she was helped by Kylan. Naia was able to dreamfast with it and healed it of the darkening.

Relationship With the Skeksis And Other Clans

The Stonewood benefited from the influx of traders and visitors, but it reinforced clan-first mentalities. To preserve a sense of safety, stability, and culture, the Stonewood created public and private sections of the village. The clan was kind and friendly to any outsiders but would treat them coldly if they trespassed on private property, on accident or not. Besides that, they seemed the most susceptible to clan stereotypes, seeing how some were highly suspicious of the Dousan and ignorant of the Grottan. While the Stonewood believed they were tougher and sturdier than other gelfling, outsiders viewed them as aggressive and arrogant.

Being geographically the closest to the skeksis, the Stonewood were frequently called upon to be guards at the castle of the Crystal. In fact, they made up the majority of the skeksis’ army up until the late Age of Division. Plenty of Stonewood were elated to get their recruitment letters as it was seen as one of the biggest honors a gelfling received. Because of this, the Stonewood believed they had a more intimate relationship with the skeksis than other clans.

That ultimately created some resentment towards the Vapra. Many Stonewoods believed the skeksis were in error by choosing the Vapra as the ambassadors and leaders of the gelfling clans. It wasn’t a secret either as the Stonewood had passionate conversations about the topic. Even Stonewood Maudras would make mention of it while in the presence of Vapran representatives. These vents never went too far as they knew disagreeing with the Vapra was also a disagreement towards the skeksis. Such comments risked their reputation as well as access to resources and valuable supplies. Despite it being a well-known secret, the Stonewoods kept it to themselves.

Of all the clan relationships, none were more well known than the rivalry between the Stonewood and the Spriton. The severity of the rivalry were different between the TV and book series. In the timeline established by the Age of Resistance, the rivalry was seen more in childlings and didn’t go as far as name-calling and rumormongering. With a mix of the skeksis’ meddling and Stonewood’s overall competitiveness kept this rivalry alive. In contrast to the book series, however, was more serious. The Spriton were a warrior clan in this version and fought over territory with the Stonewood over the trine.

Legacy of Stonewood: Jen

Although most gelfling were wiped out during the Garthim Wars, their legacies were kept alive by their survivors. Jen was the son of at least one Stonewood parent and seemingly the only surviving member of his clan. He was rescued by urSu the Master who took him to the Valley of the Mystics and raised him in safety. On his death bed, urSu cryptically explained to Jen about his destiny. He was able to succeed in his quest with the help of Kira.

Jen seemed to know some small things about his heritage. He wore the Stonewood sigil on his clothing and was taught how to play the firca. urMaj the Cook attempted to make him gelfling food, but Jen noted it never tasted right It was possible that what Jen learned he passed it onto future gelfling civilizations and preserved what was left of gelfling culture.

Notable Stonewood Members

Rian: Son of Ordon and Shoni who lived during the late Age of Division. He was a castle guard who witnessed his girlfriend Mira be drained by the skeksis. Taking the only proof of the skeksis’ betrayal, he was marked as a traitor and wanted by the lords to keep their secret hidden. Rian started as well became the unofficial leader of the Gelfling Resistance. Like his father, Rian ended up wielding the Dual Glaive.

Ordon: A veteran of the Arathim Wars and the first wielder of the Dual Glaive. He was promoted to be a captain of the castle guards after his victory in the First Battle of Stone-in-the-Wood. Not knowing that the skeksis were the true perpetrators, Ordon personally requested to seek out Rian in the hopes of curing the supposed sickness that caused his “treachery”.

Maudra Fara the Rock Singer: The Stonewood Maudra who succeeded her mother Vala during the late Age of Division. She believed in strength and loyalty and did whatever she believed was necessary for her clan. She played a big part in the Arathim Wars as well as being the first maudra who challenged the skeksis when she learned about the truth.

Shoni: Rian’s mother and husband of Ordon who lived during the late Age of Division.

Jen: The seemingly last surviving member of the Stonewood Clan nearing the end of the Age of Division. Saved by urSu the Master, Jen was raised by the mystics so that he would fulfill his destiny of ending skeksis rule and save Thra.

Maudra Vala: A Stonewood maudra and mother of Fara. She lived during the late Age of Division and took part in the First Battle in Stone-in-the-Wood where she was fatally wounded.

Thriya: A songteller who lived during an unknown time in the Age of Division. She spent her entire life traveling all over Thra to learn about the cultures and songs of each gelfling clan.

Mythra: A book series exclusive character. She was the younger sister of Rian who supported him while he was branded as a traitor. She also took part in and survived the Second Battle of Stone-in-the-Wood.

Timtri: Rian’s younger brother who only exists in the book series.

Maudra Melyff the Rock Singer: Believed to be one of Stonewood’s first maudras. She was credited with the creation of Bolentor which would become the home place of the Stonewood. In some iterations she’s known as Maudra Ynid the Tree Singer and was sisters with the Drenchen’s first maudra.

Old Ari: An old songteller who lived during an unknown time within the Age of Division.

[Sources: Song of the Seven Gelfling Clans, the official Dark Crystal website, Shadows of the Dark Crystal, Song of the Dark Crystal, Flames of the Dark Crystal, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, the Dark Crystal Film, The Dark Crystal Age of Resistance: An Epic Return To Thra, The Quest for the Dual Glaive, Creation Myths, Author Quest: The Gelfling Gathering, Heroes of the Resistance, the Dark Crystal Bestiary]

#the dark crystal #stonewood #gelfling #all about the seven clans #my posts

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anika-ann · 5 years ago

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Ground Rules (for Love and War) - Pt.1

Of War and Peace

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 3860

Type: Two-shot, reader insert

Summary: Steve Rogers always has been a bit of a mystery – always polite, with a little bit of foot-in-mouth syndrome, unbelievingly kind and definitely good-looking – but a mystery anyway. He treated you differently from his friends. Why?

You would never expect the ongoing prank war between Bucky and Sam to shed light on the matter.Of course, Tony Stark is also to blame. Whenever he isn’t? You are his assistant – you would know.

Warnings: silly pranks, blackout, attempt at humour, swearing… fluff and way too shy Steve

A/N: Loosely based on a request from AO3 from Call_Me_Mrs_Rogers: awkward flirtatious Steve and Tony’s-Assistant!Reader, Sam-Bucky prank war and a power-cut. Whole request in the notes under the first chapter.

Sam Wilson was a brave man, you thought.

An undoubtedly handsome, considerably capable, loyal to a fault, but first of all, an incredibly brave man.

That was the only logical explanation of him declaring a prank war to James Buchannan Barnes; and it started by the Falcon himself reminding everyone who followed his Twitter that Bucky’s middle name was indeed Buchannan and he loved to be called that.

The truth was that calling Bucky that name was bordering with dangerous. Pulling out a stunt like Sam had, now that was like singing up his own death sentence.

“Wilsoooon!” Bucky howled through the corridors and you jumped in your seat before smirking into your second cup of coffee that day.

You wondered what Sam had done this time. Ever since the first Twitter event, both Sam and Bucky were stepping up their game.

Social media pranks. Sugar-salt switching. Soaped door handles. Hair dye in shampoo. Itching powder. Glue on a mug. You name it.

They were like infants. Worse even. As if the Tower needed more men-children in it. As if Tony wasn’t enough.

Now, Tony Stark was a brilliant man; distracted, sarcastic, a maniacal scientist and a hero, whom you were honoured to call your boss. Except Pepper Potts was the one in charge, pulling the strings and hiring you after she had become the CEO of Stark Industries, because she could no longer be his assistant.

Because Tony Stark was a genius of a man-child who needed constant supervision. He needed a girl Friday and F.R.I.D.A.Y. sometimes wasn’t enough. Enter you. A glorious secretary with an engineering degree and enough patience to deal with him. Hand-picked by Virginia Potts herself, sometimes being chosen to go to a meeting with her to represent Tony’s intentions rather than him, since you were less likely to piss people off, being able to keep cockiness in check.

But damn, weren’t you proud.

Your train of thought was cut short as the former Winter Soldier strode into the communal kitchen with a stormy look on his face and sneezed on its way; four times. Loudly.

Your face twisted in sympathy.

“Haven’t seen him,” you answered before Bucky could collect himself enough to ask.

Another wall-shaking sneeze was his response.

Now that one was just cruel; as far as you knew, supersoldiers couldn’t get sick. So it was just the sneezing itself, whatever it was caused by. Still, you guessed it must have been horrible to go through that after so many years of blissful germ-freedom. Honestly, if you sneezed like after seven decades, you’d lose your shit. Why did it feel like your lungs were about to leave your body through your nose at the mere thought of it? Scary shit, alright.

Bucky growled and stalked away. Not before he nodded in thanks.

He left the room with another sneeze.

“Bless you,” you muttered under your breath and eyed your tablet.

Tony was asleep as he had stayed awake until two a.m. working on the newest upgrade for the security of the Tower, so technically, you had time to enjoy your coffee in relative peace.

Naturally, peace was a short supply in the Tower, the home to the Avengers.

When Pepper had first offered you to simply move in since you spent the most of your time there, you had been reluctant. It had only been a week in and while you met some of the team members, finding out they were far less intimidating than they presented themselves to the press, it sounded… overwhelming to stay there 24/7. However, you had been quickly persuaded after you nearly passed out, because your sleep schedule was a mess, consisting of either passing out on the couch in the Tower or making it home only to fall asleep before your head hit the pillow, and being woken up by an urgent call from the Ironman himself two hours later.

Living in the Tower had its downsides and its upsides.

Downside was that it rarely got quiet and it was the perfect target for any supervillain as it had all of the Earth’s mightiest heroes in one place. Constant supervision from an artificial intelligence was as reassuring as concerning.

As for the upsides… you hadn’t expected to actually… befriend the Avengers. You certainly wouldn’t guess that once Natasha Romanoff warmed up to you, she was a great friend, a female element alongside Pepper that the Tower and the team sorely needed. The times you bonded over the aforementioned men-children were one of the best in your life.

Clint was a lot of fun, though you had soon adopted the habit of making a pot of coffee just for him, since you were usually the one to get up from bed before him and talking to him pre-coffee was the risk equivalent to touching Sam’s snacks.

Bruce… kept for himself a lot. But when he came out of his shell, either liberated by alcohol or when discussing science with Tony, he would radiate an aura anyone would be happy to bask in.

Sam was the ray of sunshine, gentle with a lot of fun stacked behind the chocolate eyes of his, but once he got into the same room and Bucky… oh boy.

The silently charming grumpy supersoldier added to the team in a way you wouldn’t see coming – perfectly. Except that he and Sam were always in each other’s hair. Always bickering; one that sometimes resulted in a war. Occasionally funny; other times utterly annoying. Rright now, you felt like it was something in between.

“Good morning,” sounded pleasantly from the door, where the last member of the peculiar household stood, seemingly hesitant.

Oh. Steve Rogers. That was right. Your biggest guilty pleasure. That man was a pure eye-candy, a body perfected by the serum only to protect the great man hiding in it. You didn’t have many opportunities to truly know him; but whenever you saw him, he had an air around him, greatness and kindness, yet somehow fogged by modesty.

At times, he appeared sheepish almost, but always polite. To you anyway. His friends were a different story; it saddened you occasionally, that he didn’t consider you a friend, not really giving you a chance, treating you differently. You suspected it was because you weren’t a fighter; while assisting Tony nearly 24/7, it was obvious that the billionaire tried his best to keep you away from the danger zone as much as possible.

The arms-long distance Steve Rogers kept you at was causing you a heart-ache at times, yet you had a feeling he didn’t have any particular dislike for you; only that he treated you differently. Always polite. Always a pleasant interaction.

You couldn’t help but smile at him, his usual running outfit and tousled hair giving away he was coming back from his everyday morning routine of what was probably like thirty miles or something.

“Good morning, Steve. Had a nice run?”

Looking himself up, slightly guiltily, he scratched the back of his neck. It occurred to you that he was embarrassed at not being the most cleaned-up version of himself in front of you – a woman –, which you found adorable. His forties-man was showing.

“Yeah. Yes. Thank you. Did you… sleep well?” he queried, shifting by the door.

“Yes, actually… are you going to stand there all day?” you teased him lightly and the corners of his lips twitched as his gaze fell to the floor, his shoulder finally bouncing off the door-frame.

“I just didn’t want to disturb your moment of peace…”

Your chest felt warmer at such admission. What a sweet thought.

“That is very kind of you,” you praised him as he gestured to the coffee pot, checking with you if it was for everyone’s use. You nodded and chuckled at the tinniest flaw in his thoughtfulness. “Except you were beaten about a minute and half by a much grumpier and louder supersoldier.”

Steve groaned and leaned onto the counter. “Let me guess: Sam proceeded with another prank.”

You made a finger gun at him, grinning. “Exactly. I don’t know how he did it, but I don’t think I ever heard a person sneeze that loud. And that often. Poor Bucky.”

“Bucky brought this upon himself. He deserves it,” Steve grumbled, sipping at the coffee, his eyelids sliding shut blissfully. You were pretty sure that something resembling a moan resonated in his chest, which… didn’t do a thing to you. Didn’t bring thoughts that were not about caffeinated beverages, but something slightly dirtier. Nope. Nothing. Like… at all.

You stood up from you stool and gathered your stuff, ignoring the way your heart suddenly sped up.

“Well, I just hope we can all keep sane before this particular battle of their war is over,” you hummed, every word honest and hopeful. “These two might bring the Tower down. As if Tony wasn’t enough…”

“Very true. I’ll try and keep an eye on them… try,” he emphasized when your nose scrunched with a bit of doubt and you made a so-so motion with your free hand.

“Bold move. I hope you don’t get caught in the middle. Though I’m sure you could pull the blue-hair look unlike Bucky…”

Why did I just say that?

Smiling softly into his cup despite his eyes going wide in horror, he took a deep breath and looked you straight in the eye. The brightness of his irises had your breath caught in your chest.

“So am I. You… uhm, you look beautiful today, by the way,” he complimented you sweetly, his gaze swiftly glancing over your outfit and casual hairstyle. And for a good reason; having to assist Pepper on a meeting today, you had been chosen to wear a pink ladies suit and a white shirt. You had expected to look like a ridiculous copy of cotton candy – you had not anticipated to… actually look presentable. Feminine even. You.

Your cheeks matched the colours of your jacket at the praise; Steve’s shoulders straightened.

“I meant… not that you usually don’t. I was… uhm, I like the… the look on you. The one you have today,” he stumbled over his words and suddenly your whole body felt warm, pleasantly and yet embarrassingly.

“Thank… thank you. Have a nice day, Steve,” you nearly squeaked, threw a quick smile over your shoulder and rushed from the kitchen.

Oh yeah.

Steve… he would often utter a compliment, like a proper gentleman he was, treating women right. Except you never heard him say such thing to Natasha, who was far easier on the eyes. Or to Pepper. He would open the door for you, reached the top shelves when you needed it, always offering a helping hand, shy and gentle smiles, so… diverse to how he was when with the Avengers.

No, Steve Rogers didn’t treat you like his friend.

And god knew that the day you figured out if that was a good thing or a bad thing would be the day of solving the biggest enigma of the new millennium.

Unknown to you, Steve melted into the counter, putting down his cup of coffee and groaned at his utter inability to flirt.

“I swear, man, before you manage to give her a normal compliment without putting your foot in your mouth, someone else will snatch her,” Sam commented, having just sneaked into the kitchen to grab a three protein bars, cautiously scanning his surroundings.

Steve shot him a glare. “Thank you, Sam, you’re being very helpful. Has Bucky found you yet?”

“Shh! Don’t say his name! Do that two more times and he will app-“

“Wilson! You- ACHOO- fhakhin’ bird- ACHOOO-brain!” Bucky’s voice thundered through the whole floor and Steve smirked with satisfaction.

Sam’s body turned to stone, his eyes horrified and yet endlessly amused.

“Sorry, Cap, gotta go! But for God’s sake, just ask her out before we all go insane here…”

“Says the guy who cursed a supersoldier with sniffles!” Steve called after the disappearing figure exasperatedly, only to hear Sam’s laughter in the distance.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻❁༺༻༺༻༺༻༺

“Silly circuit! What’s wrong with you? Do you have no decency? Just work…” you mumbled under your breath, eyes glued to the interface from a way too short distance, but you didn’t care for your health at this point. You just wanted to fix this.

“Is it talking back?” a hesitant and yet teasing voice asked, making you nearly jump out of your skin. Your head snapped up in surprise.

“Steve. Hey,” you welcomed him briefly, shocked at the vision of the supersoldier in the workshop. “What brings you to our dungeon?”

“Coffee break,” he wiggled two coffee cups in his hands pointedly and beckoned towards the clock that… read ten in the evening. Oh. You didn’t realize you had been down here for so long. “Something tells me you didn’t have one in a while. Am I… overstepping?”

Your cheeks flushed similarly to his as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, reluctant to cross the distance between you.

Coffee honestly sounded heavenly now. And with delivery and perhaps some company? Not bad, not bad at all…

“Oh. No! No, that’s just… I’m surprised,” you admitted. “I mean, you’re always nice to me, of course, but… eh, sorry, my people skills are lacking at this time of day. Remind me how to tell-- gosh, I can’t even word, I mean speak-- you really do have a point about that coffee break.”

You chuckled, a palm over your forehead, fighting the urge to run it down your face in embarrassment at you babbling.

Steve, ever the gentleman, tried to hush his laughter at least partly, the sound coming out subtle and cute. He held out one of the cups for you and you instantly sipped at it reverently with your eyelids fluttering close, barely registering his soft: “Well, here you go.”

“Thank you, Steve.”

“You’re welcome. What are you working on?”

Surprised once more by his query, you took another vehement sip of coffee before placing the cup in safe distance and answering.

“Eh, just some glitch in Natasha’s Bites. I think she fried it, using the electromotive units too much during the last mission and now the interface is misbehaving and we would rather avoid her accidently electrocuting people, god forbid, herself.”

“…that we would,” Steve agreed, blinking at you, seemingly a bit dumbstruck, but a twinkle of mischief reflected in his irises. “Looks like the coffee is kicking in pretty quick. You have no problem with wording now.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle self-depreciatingly. He wasn’t wrong.

What threw you off balance was that he was… having a conversation with you, a playful one, so atypical of him – at least as far as it was concerning you – and… it felt truly nice. It did things to your stomach, a pleasant fluttery sensation and you quickly downed the rest of your cup, wondering if it was the shot of caffeine. You were about 97% sure that it wasn’t the cause.

“Har, har, Captain Rogers. I’ll have you know that it’s only my human skills that gets progressively pathetic with my caffeine levels running low, not my ability to say big words. Anyway, what’s got into you tonight? There’s something different about you… not that I’m complaining!”

Once more, his reaction took you aback. He flashed you a quick smile before lowering his gaze, holding up both of his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Guilty as charged. Sam might have found me making coffee for two and decided to give me a pep talk. He told me, and I quote, to suck it up and just spit it out. … And then made me take a sip from Thor’s flask.”

Your heart started beating its way out of your chest, a mixture of panic and excitement at his admission.

“Sounds like he’s a good friend then. Is there something on your mind? That you need to… spit out?”

“Yeah,” he confessed, peeking at your from under his rich eyelashes, shy but determined gaze settling on you as he leant onto the counter behind him. “I feel like… things I want to say tend to come out wrong. I… I’d like to know you better. If that would be alright with you.”

You felt endlessly grateful that moment, that the words ‘my jaw went slack’ were only a figure of speech, because otherwise you would have looked very comical and very much stupid. Still, your lips parted, the flutter in your stomach growing in intensity.

“…oh,” you breathed out intelligently, only to realize he had actually asked a question. Kinda. And he was waiting for you to answer. “Uhm… yes. Yes, I’d love to do the same. I… I admit I thought that maybe you just weren’t interested in further interaction, because I’m not on the team-“

“No! That’s not it at all, I swear,” he rushed to reassure you, sending a tiny pleased smile at your approval. “It’s just… like I said. I’m always tripping over myself around you, putting my foot in my mouth and- and things I want to say sound less awkward in my head.”

Tripping over himself around me? That sounded… nope, that couldn’t be it. Right? Except your heart was now hammering against your ribcage in excitement at the possibility, turning more real every second he was looking at you and dammit, do not give into the silly hope that Steve Rogers might actually like like you.

“Steve, you’re literally the nicest guy I’ve ever met. I like to think about you as sweet, not awkward.” Now wow, really, sweet? That was way too much, dummy. Except he smiled shyly, his eyes lightening up at the compliment and your fingertips tingled at the sweet display of delight. He relaxed further, settling more comfortably against the counter. “Now, what do you want to know?”

“Anything,” he shrugged, the corners of his lips still up in invitation, an encouragement to share with him anything you were willing to.

“Well, you clearly already know how I take my coffee…”

Hint of darker pink coloured his cheeks, much to your glee.

“How did you end up working for Tony?”

“First of all, we all know I’m working for Pepper…”

He laughed at that, but listened patiently after, watching you work as you told him about your mum always being away on business trips and your father taking you to his workshop to keep your child’s mind occupied, teaching you stuff that was way too complicated for a little girl, but fascinating at the same time, showing you direction when you turned the age of making the big career decisions.

“Applying for this insane position wasn’t a spur of the moment. Pepper sent out e-mails to candidates she picked – I didn’t even know about the position opening, she simply used some of Tony’s searching tools and wrote people of whom she thought might handle the job. It was a little scary, to be honest. First, I thought there was no way for me to sign up for that; it would mean basically no personal life and I never wanted to be like my mum, never home…. But then it occurred to me how proud she would be of me, much like dad is and… I thought that it doesn’t have to be forever, you know. I can work here now and switch to something else when I decide to be a mum. Of course, I can see now, unlike when I was a kid and teenager, that she tried, but… I realized lots of that stuff only after she died and it’s just… I’m sorry she wasn’t there and that I didn’t try harder to appreciate her.”

You couldn’t fathom when you started pouring your heart to him or when your eyes started burning, but suddenly his hand was there, gently squeezing yours, his wide shoulders as if shielding you from the rest of the world simply by standing by your side and your eyes closed of their own account, your body strangely comfortable in Steve’s huge presence.

“I’m sure she knew,” he whispered warmly.

You smiled at him through the tears you had failed to keep at bay. “Sorry. Now whose mouth is loose. I bet you didn’t expect me oversharing when you said you wanted to know me better.”

“No, I didn’t,” he confirmed, observing your face with a mixture of laughter at your joke and compassion at your outburst. “I appreciate that you’re willing to share something so big with me. Thank you.”

“It’s that eyes of yours. They made me spill my guts.”

He didn’t point out that your focus was on the device on the table and not his eyes, pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket instead. He gave it to you, never letting go of your other hand.

“Oh wow,” you only commented, no more words needed. Who the hell still carried-

Steve groaned silently. “Please don’t make any old man jokes.”

“I was about to compliment your chivalry.”

“Sure you were,” he grumbled, but his mouth was curled up in a grin, so you assumed he wasn’t too offended by your reaction.

Staring at the dazzling display of perfect teeth, you missed another person coming in; until their shocked voice snapped you from your trance.

“Whoa, what’s happening?” Bucky blurted out, bewildered at the scene in front of him.

You jumped away from Steve as if you got burned, your hand slipping from his. To be fair, so did he.

When had you got to standing in such intimate proximity anyway? Christ, something must have got into the air vents. You’d blame the Barnes-Wilson war for that… not that you complained. Having Steve standing so close, offering comfort without a single word of complaint after listening to you pouring your heart to him… you weren’t entirely joking when saying you were about to commend his chivalry.

Steve cleared his throat, his voice hoarse as if he had been the one crying. “Bucky? What can I do for you?”

Bucky frowned first at his best friend and then at you, his gaze flickering between the two of you before settling on you, a worried wrinkle appearing on his forehead.

“You alright, dollface? Do I need to punch Captain Foot-in-the-Mouth in his face?” he beckoned his chin towards Steve and you instantly shook your head, still too caught off guard to find your voice.

“Buck, please…”

“It’s a relevant question, Steve. And I’d do it if she asked.”

A surprised chuckle escaped your lips and you offered Bucky a grateful smile, only to grin up at Steve before wiping the rest of your tears.

“You seem to have very supportive friends, Steve,” you remarked.

“You have no idea. What did you need?”

“Nothing from you, punk,” Bucky smirked and shifted his attention fully to you. “FRIDAY told me you needed me in here? Something about an upgrade for my arm? Which I don’t need-”

“… which is why I’m not working on such thing,” you said, baffled. Should you be working on Bucky’s arm?

The former Winter Soldier had an utter confusion written all over his face.

“Huh? Then why-?”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence.

The workshop was suddenly swallowed by darkness, stunning him into silence.

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Part 2 ༻༺༻༺༻༺༻❁༺༻༺༻༺༻༺

Tags: @mermaidxatxheart @cxptain @smilexcaptainx

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Original request: Basically, the reader is Tony's assistant and she's in and around the tower 24/7. Steve really likes her and in the rare times that she's able to get away from her work, she really likes him. They're always flirting with each other in the slightly awkward old-man way Steve has but they never actually get together. Bucky and Sam decide to get creative and start a prank war. The only problem is that they cause a power-cut and because of Tony's high-tech stuff, Y/N, Steve and Bucky are trapped in a room together with a bit of food, a board game (monopoly?) and some candles. Maybe Y/N just finished training and was in her small, tight outfits and Steve couldn't keep his eyes off her. Could the whole thing be full of sexual innuendos but NO SMUT PLEASE! Anyway, Bucky does something (maybe he sticks his foot out and Y/N trips over it into Steve's arms? Idk, I'm not good at this...) and they end up kissing or whatever?

Sorry for not completely following the script requested, I focused more on what my keyboard dictated O:-) I did say I was terrible with given scenarios. Hopefully you’ll enjoy at least a bit anyway. I can’t see myself filling any other request in my life, but I did have fun with this ;)

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Thank you for reading!

#marvel #fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers imagine #captain america #captain america imagine #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfic #captain america fanfic #steve rogers x you #captain america x you #mcu #avengers #prank war #ground rules for love and war #anika ann

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dayseternal-blog · 5 years ago

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A summer job at the Dole pineapple cannery, graveyard shift 10 PM to 6 AM. A long bus ride into and out of town. Two teens, shy beside each other.

Written for NaruHina 2020 August - Cultures/Around the World

Rated G

Inspired by “Torch Song” by @mmmbuttery (emmykay)

Here we go, a story I've worked on since November of last year. Despite the months of creation, this story is simply boy meets girl. This one is close to my heart, and I've second-guessed posting it.

It's loosely based on my parents' high school stories and how they met, and the experiences from many recorded accounts of people from that generation, the 1970s. I wrote this mostly with the intention of diving into and imagining their time period.

Finally completed, of course it’s late for August, in true spirit, I stay on island time. This story is titled after “About You” by Cecilio & Kapono, a 1975 Hawaiian pop classic.

One Shot - About You

The bus bumps and lurches on the potholes.

She notes when they pass by a friend’s house, lit only by the dim orange street lamps over dark driveways. There are so few cars out on the road that every time the bus pulls over and the door opens, she can hear the high-pitched hum of crickets in the grass. It’s all a familiar rhythm that might have put her to sleep on any other night. But she already took a long nap, readying her internal clock for the new schedule.

She’ll be taking this route for the rest of the summer, heading from the bus stop next to the local library straight to the cannery.

It feels alright, better than she was expecting. She was worried it would feel lonely--her friends are all working the cannery, too, but in the daytime. She wanted the extra nickel the night shift earns, bringing her up to $1.40 per hour.

She’s always thinking ahead--the more money she manages to save now for business college, the less she will need to work later.

The bus slows down to a stop, picking up probably the last passenger before it gets on the freeway straight to town.

She relaxes into her seat, settling in for the drive out of the suburbs.

“Hinata?”

That’s weird that someone would know her at this hour.

She turns her face away from the window and sees him standing in the aisle, as if he was about to sit down in the row in front of her. “N-Naruto?” She regrets her stutter. She just wasn’t expecting to see him. At all.

“Hey! Howzit?” He looks genuinely surprised to see her, too.

“Good...” She returns his bright grin with a shy smile of her own. She tucks a lock of loose hair behind her ear. “I’m heading to the cannery.”

“You working cannery, too?”

“Yeah...are you?”

“Yup. Gotta make dat extra nickel, yeah?” He smiles disarmingly as she nods, and he takes a seat.

She wants to relax. But she can’t.

Because it’s him.

All 5 feet 9 inches of beautiful boy sitting in front of her on a relatively empty bus. He’s taller than the average local Japanese, due to his hapa blood. And as if height wasn’t enough to make him attractive to all the girls, he’s funny. And clever. Athletic and nice. A little rascal, but that only increases his charm. She has so much adrenaline pumping through her from that one tiny conversation, she knows she’ll be exhausted before they even get to Honolulu Harbor.

The forewoman, a middle-aged Portuguese lady, takes her and another girl named Tenten to the lockers. “Wear dis.” She passes them a white apron and hairnet. “You girls get gloves?”

They both nod, pulling out their plastic gloves, required in the job description.

The lady glances at the gloves, bored expression unchanging. “Follow.”

Hinata tucks all of her hair up into the net, and she knows she probably looks like an enoki mushroom, dressed now all in white.

They follow the forewoman to the assembly floor.

“Here.” She hands them knives with the same carelessness of someone who’s been doing this for ages. “Take all da extra skin off cuz da machine no get ‘m all, look, but gotta do ‘m fas’ kine ah. No let da pines go down widdout cleaning ‘m,” she explains, pointing and waving at the conveyor belt.

Hinata nods. Four girls stand silently before a machine that’s spitting out bright yellow, skinned pineapples. They grab at them quickly, and then with practiced flicks of their wrist, they nick off the remaining bits into slots for the rubbish. They put the pineapples back down on the belt, where the fruit runs along to another set of girls, who give them another checkover. Further down, the fruit runs into a machine with circling blades that chop them into slices.

Rows and rows of young women dressed in white aprons with mushroom-netted heads stand around conveyors and machines.

Young men cross over the upper ladders and walkways carrying pineapples to dump into the machines and sticks to poke at the fruit in the chutes to prevent jamming.

The smell of pineapples is pervasive, sickly in its sweetness.

Not too much later, a bell shrills throughout the warehouse, and she’s taking over for a girl who’s now off-duty. She grabs at the pineapples, turning the weighty fruit over in her palm and cutting brown spots of skin off with the knife as quickly as she can. Droplets of pineapple juice stick to her gloves, and soon enough, the juice is dripping down the latex.

She’s not thankful for the gloves for long.

The juice runs down, and every stretch of her arm to grab at the fruit or place it back down feels sticky in the crook of her elbow.

Minutes turn into hours of watching pineapples.

She has no idea how the world eats so many pineapples.

How is it possible that people love pineapples this much? That the machinery is rarely turned off? That all of the state’s teenagers are employed every summer to work the fields and machines practically 24/7?

As unfathomable as it is, she finds a strange awe for the tropical fruit that she never had before. To pass the time as she trims the skin, she imagines where these pineapples are going. Who’s going to buy these pineapples. What country they’ll end up in and what language the people speak there. And whether they have ever seen a whole pineapple before.

But then again, maybe they’re all just going to the Mainland. Women who look like the movie stars with perfectly curled, blonde hair will open the cans for their families.

The bell rings, the machines stop.

They have 30 minutes.

The more veteran workers zip off to the lunchroom, not waiting for anyone.

Hinata smiles tiredly at Tenten.

“Whew,” the Chinese girl sighs.

Hinata nods in agreement. “I never seen so many pineapples before, I think.”

“Yeah, me, neither.” Her brows raise to emphasize the point.

By the time they get off at 6 in the morning, dawn is breaking, traffic is slowly building along Nimitz Highway, and she knows she must absolutely stink of pineapples.

But Naruto waves and stands beside her as they wait for the bus, as if he doesn’t care. Maybe he can’t smell her, desensitized now after so long in the warehouse. “Morning, Hinata,” he laughs, and the joke is not lost on her.

She smiles weakly, only his good attitude motivating her. “Good morning,” she manages to reply. She’s too exhausted to feel shy about standing beside her crush. After all, she was standing for the last several hours. All she wants is to sit down.

“How wuz it?” he asks conversationally.

She pinches her lips into a tight frown. “I had to trim the pines at the ginaca.” She gestures halfheartedly with her hands, showing him the flick of an imaginary knife she used. All night. She’s almost certain that she’s the machine now. “What did you do?”

“Oh, wuz pretty neat! I jus’ had to keep da cans moving on da belt an’ stick da lids inside da kine, machine, and then the cans pop out. I did da tops.”

She blinks at him. Forces a weak smile out that she barely feels in her heart. Sounds easy… But that’s to be expected, after all, women usually handle food anyway.

“No can wait fo’ sit down, yeah!” he laughs. He doesn’t sound tired, but it occurs to her that maybe he never does. His natural excitement is what makes him popular in the first place.

She nods.

When the bus pulls up to the curb, Naruto lets her get on in front of him.

The bus driver pulls a face as she pays.

She frowns, a hot blush spreading over her cheeks. She tried to clean up as best she could after her shift, but apparently, it really was all for naught.

“Go in da back!” the driver directs, none too friendly.

She does so, even though the front seats aren’t full.

Naruto laughs outright as he pays, unashamed at his own stink. “What, uncle, wen try fo’ wash off, still stay pilau?”

“Eesh,” the driver utters in response to the teen’s cheekiness.

She doesn’t know how he’s not embarrassed, nor how he’s able to talk back to strangers like it’s nothing. It’s just another case in point of her admiration and curiosity of him. She picks an aisle-facing seat, and, to her surprise, Naruto sits right next to her, his knees spreading open.

She’s not as tired as she thought.

Nerves race up her legs. She stares at her hands, which she carefully places on her knees, which are closely pressed together as ladylike as possible. Not a single part of her touches him. She thinks she might die if their legs touch.

And that’s how she doesn’t doze off on the long ride back home.

He meant to brag to his friends about working graveyard shift when he saw them that first weekend. Sure, the hours are junk, but, Ho, should see da chicks!

Particularly the one he rides the bus with. Hinata Hyuuga. A small, Japanese girl. Brains and looks. Not to mention her unusual, light eyes, making you question her race. But, nah, no real question about it, she’s Japanese through and through with her shy, quiet manner. She’s someone he imagines could win the Cherry Blossom Festival pageant with her smooth skin and round eyes. He and the guys always steal a poster of the new year’s contestants from the supermarket window. Pictures of pretty Japanese girls’ profiles all lined up, free to admire. She could definitely win. If she ever tried. But she’s not very personable.

Not that that ever stopped him from talking to whoever he wants to talk to.

Yet he ended up not mentioning anything about Hinata to his friends. Not the next week, either.

Somehow, she just comes off as out-of-his-league. At least, he’s certain that’s what his friends would say. Just mentioning her would probably earn him jokes. He’s pretty sure she’s in all the high, smart classes. But he doesn’t know much about that--and she’s a year younger than him. He only knows her because his social club had a gathering with hers last year, invited by Sakura. There’re lots of pretty girls in that social club, and, unusually, it has girls over two grade levels. Just the younger girls didn’t catch his attention last year.

Needless to say, he’s thinking about her now.

Not much else to think about while he drops lids into the machine. It’s monotonous work, but he knows now that his job is way, way better than Hinata’s.

-Two weeks ago-

His jaw dropped when he saw her on the bus the second night.

She had covered her arms self-consciously with her hands when he got on.

Of course, that action was what drew his attention.

Bright. Red. Streaks and bumps. A rash. Mottling her fair skin in the crook of her elbows to the middle of her forearms. Both sides.

“From da pines?” he asked incredulously.

She nodded, her eyes turning down, as if somehow the rash was a personal fault.

He looked away, realizing his staring was only making her feel worse. “You have da kine..sensitive skin?” He wondered belatedly if talking about it would only make her feel worse worse.

“Umm...yeah…” Her voice sounded even quieter than her usual.

He frowned awkwardly, though she didn’t see it. He sat down beside her, still looking away. “Jeez. Das real junk.” He swallowed back his strange feeling of guilt. Her pain wasn’t his fault. Her job placement wasn’t his fault. So why did he feel like he was partially responsible...? “Uh, dere anyting fo’ do about it?” He suddenly felt like cringing at the sound of his own pidgin. His heavy speech just further emphasized his upbringing compared to hers. Someone classy like her shouldn’t be doing a job like that, right? “‘Cuz like, can only get worse, yeah? You get medicine fo’ put on or someting?” He couldn’t help jabbering on and on. When he starts feeling uncomfortable, that’s just what happens.

Thankfully, she continued the conversation. “Mhm. I saw yesterday some of th’ other workers wuz wearing two gloves.” She opened her purse and pulled out a pair. The hands were cut off. “Like this, see?” She pulled the glove on over her elbow like a sleeve, then pulled another, uncut one on so that they overlapped on her forearm.

“Ho, neat idea, yeah?” He nodded in approval.

She smiled in response. “The juice no can get inside, I think, yeah?”

“Yeah!” he emphasized.

She smiled a little more, obviously not embarrassed anymore by her arms.

And he felt proud of himself for getting them out of that uncomfortable start to the bus ride. Felt oddly self-satisfied that he got her to smile. Decided right then and there that he was pretty interested in her.

But he hasn’t really made a move, yet. The thought that she might turn him down is there. He’s been turned down enough times that rejection isn’t really what’s bugging him. It’s that she never seems to be in a good mood after their shift is done. That, and he doesn’t want it to be uncomfortable for the rest of the summer in case she does reject him. He would still have to catch the bus with her every night and morning. Too bad his dad doesn’t let him take the car to work. He gets it, though. His dad needs the car to go to work.

Well, he’ll figure it out later.

The bell screams, signaling the start of their lunch break.

He joins a group of Farrington guys he befriended over the course of the two weeks. There’re a lot of them working at the cannery, being that the high school is only a neighborhood away from the warehouse district.

“Eh, Naruto, you surf?” Omoi, a dark-skinned Filipino boy with sun-bleached ehu hair, asks.

“Yeah,” he answers, excitement bubbling. But only on the weekends with Shikamaru and Choji. He lives central, not at all close to the ocean, making beach trips longer than ideal. “Why, whatchu thinking?”

A guy they call “C,” Naruto has no idea what it’s short for, leans forward. “We go dawn patrol, Kewalo’s.”

Right after their shift, at the surf break at Kewalo Basin. Sounds solid. “Eh, shoots, we go! Tomorrow den?”

“Yeah,” Omoi affirms. “Prolly gon wash da pine stink off, yeah?”

C’s eyes widen at Omoi’s shoes, shaking his head. “Eh, brah, I no tink so, you dripping pines ova hea, bet yo feet kill, phew!”

“You faka, you no can talk, da flies stay all buzzin’ ‘round you!” Omoi shoots back.

Naruto frowns, considering that Hinata has the same job as Omoi, one of the few guys assigned to a woman’s job. Over the course of the job, Omoi’s shoes had soaked in pineapple juice that dripped from the cutting. This didn’t seem to be as big a problem for Hinata, who, for some girly reason, wore sandals despite the long hours of standing. “How come you no jus’ wea rubbah slippahs?”

Omoi shook his head with a serious expression. “No can fo’ do dat brah. I only get one good pair! Already wen ruin deez shoes, no sense ruin my slippahs too.”

“Dis broke faka ova hea, he no get money fo’ buy one noddah pair from Long’s das why!” C laughs.

Naruto shakes his head, laughing out loud. “No way you dat broke!”

Omoi turns to C, faux annoyance twisting his face. “Eh dis haole ri’ hea like get lickins?”

Instead of looking threatened, C just humorously shoots back, “You like go, we go!”

“Go den, shoots we go,” Omoi answers, squaring up.

“Yeah den go cuz, shoots,” C threatens back.

But neither of them stand.

Naruto rolls his eyes at their idiotic banter. Rarely is he the voice of reasoning, but he supposes it would be a different story if his school friends were here. “Eh we go Kewalo’s shoots.”

They turn back to him, huge grins on. “Yeah, we go!” Omoi says enthusiastically.

“Bring your board yeah?” C reminds him as the bell rings again.

“Yeah!”

He tells Hinata that he can’t go back with her the next day, and she just nods and smiles. Tells him to have fun.

And it’s a slight relief to not worry about the ride back home with her. He’s starting to feel like maybe she’s expecting him to ask her out since they spend so much time together. Well, really, he’s expecting that of himself, but he just can’t right now.

She’s just not any other girl at school in these current circumstances.

Hinata never meant to be one of those girls.

One of those girls, picked up on a stretcher and taken to the medical room to recuperate.

But on the first day of her period, she was exactly one of those girls.

She was feeling so tired. Legs like jelly. Sore up her thighs. Aches digging around her lower back. A weighty twisting in her core. A heavy day. It made her feel lightheaded.

The pineapples, one after another, going by, making her feel a little dizzy, like maybe she needed to close her eyes.

Shutting her eyes for a second didn’t help.

A breath, two breaths, intentional breaths.

She felt like maybe she was going to make herself start hyperventilating, the opposite of what she wanted. She wanted to breathe normally.

Focus on the pineapple.

It felt too heavy in her hand.

Her focus sliding off the pineapple, to the sticky yellow glint of the knife. Back to the pineapple.

She looked up, dazed, her eyes taking too long to adjust to a point on the far wall.

“Hinata, you alright?” Tenten asked.

She tried to refocus on the girl on the opposite side of her. She nodded, blinking, trying to concentrate on their job.

“You don’t look alright.” Her voice was too loud, like everything else going on.

Too loud, pounding.

She closed her eyes, heat searing her temples.

“-nata? Hinata?”

She slowly gains consciousness, to find Naruto looking down at her.

“You okay? You wen faint dey said.”

“Oh,” she manages to utter, trying to get her bearings as the room and bed take shape in her mind, blinking away the dazed vestiges of sleep. “W-what time is it?”

“Our shift only pau now.”

“Oh.”

“You feeling okay?”

She slowly sits up, nodding. “Yeah.” She must not have been out for that long. She really thought she would make it to the end of the night. “Were you waiting for me?” she asks, suddenly panicked at the realization that he is here with her.

“Ah, nah, nah. I come in jus’ now.” He gestures at the door. “You weren’ out dere, so I jus’ wen ask somebahdy. Dey said you wuz in hea.”

“Oh.” That’s good that he wasn’t waiting for her to wake up, but, still, she never expected him to do something like this. “You didn’t have to.”

He shrugs. “No problem. Ready fo’ go? Can walk or..?”

She nods, scooching off the bed-like table.

And he walks with her to check-out with one of the heads, and then back to the bus stop. Waits with her there. And when it’s obvious that he’s going back with her despite the longboard he’s been holding this whole time, she haltingly brings it up. “You not...going surfing?”

He shakes his head carelessly. “Nah, I go tomorrow.”

She ducks her head, biting her lips. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, nah, waves not hitting today, so.” He shrugs, looking past her for the bus.

Obviously an outright lie, but she accepts it over drawing out such an uncomfortable situation.

“You no feel good today?” He sounds honestly concerned.

“Um, I felt fine earlier.” Well, in truth, she felt okay. The normal period cramps. As okay as a heavy day can be.

“You not sick?”

She shakes her head. She wants to sit down. The bench has the older workers sitting down, so she never gets to sit until the bus comes. She shifts her weight from foot to foot, trying to relieve the weight from her hips and pelvis.

It’s such a relief when the bus comes. She ignores the bus driver’s daily grimace and makes for the back row as quickly as she can.

He watches her sit down, audibly sigh, and her whole body kind of just melts into the stiff chair. It’s obvious that out of all the days so far, she’s the most tired today.

Or has she been like this? He just didn’t know because he’s been avoiding her in the mornings?

Ten minutes into the long ride, he’s thinking that it’s a good thing he’s going home with her today because…he thinks she’s falling asleep. Her head keeps jerking in his peripheral vision, so he decides to stop being considerate and turn to look straight at her.

Her eyes are drooping heavily, she’s blinking really hard...she is falling asleep. Or, trying really hard not to.

“Hinata.”

“Huh?” Her eyes fly wide open, obviously forcing herself.

“Sleep, I go wake you up later.”

Her cheeks redden. “Oh, no, I’m fine.”

She doesn’t trust him, or…what? She’s embarrassed?

“You sure?”

She nods. “Yeah.” Her voice sounds too breathy to be fine, but if she says so...

It’s no surprise to him when her body starts slumping over, her head weighing the rest of her body down and toward the seats in front of them.

She’d be even more embarrassed about this position, right? So he reaches over to grab both her shoulders and kind of push her back upright.

Well, that’s what he meant to do.

Her eyes open as if spooked, and she straightens out of his hands. “Sorry!” she gasps. Expression all pinched, she looks like she feels really ashamed.

About what, though? If anything, he feels bad about how tired she is. “No,” he reassures. “No worry ‘bout me.” He’s trying his best to sound comforting… “Should get some rest, s’okay, I go wake you up befo’ my stop. Trus’ me.”

Her eyes squint, like she’s straining to focus. “...maybe. But I don’t like sleep..on da bus.”

He can’t help a laugh. “Ha, you look like you goin’ give yourself da kine whiplash back-an-for'-li’ dat, jus’ relax.”

“Mm…” A noncommittal answer, but one that doesn’t argue, so he can’t push the issue any further, either.

They settle back into the sound of the engine roaring along the highway, and pretty soon, her body’s starting to lean over again. He refrains from helping her, even though she looks uncomfortable.

She looks like she’s going to wake up with a sore neck. Her blood’s probably rushing to her head in that position. That’s not good, right? She literally just had a fainting spell not too long ago. So having her head lean against the rattling window pane wouldn’t be ideal, either. Since they’re sitting at the back, she might really conk her head hard if the bus has to stop.

With more care than the first time, he tries to guide her to lean against him.

For a moment, her eyelids and brows wiggle and bunch up, but swiftly return to their placid state.

It’s nice.

She’s nice.

He should ask her out. She doesn’t ignore him or outwardly show any disinterest, so…sometime he’ll do it. Just of course not today.

When he sees that he’s getting close to his stop, he calls her name, “Hinata. Hinata.”

“Mm.” She sits up and blinks, a hand hurriedly wiping her mouth.

Drool? He’s trying not to smile like a goofball, but kind of failing at hiding his selfish amusement. “I gotta get off now. You gon’ be okay?”

She nods, making eye contact for a second, only for her gaze to immediately skitter away to some unknown point on the bus floor.

“‘Kay, you take care, yeah?”

She nods again, still refusing to look at him, her hands busy everywhere touching her face and then her hair, fixing who-knows-what. She murmurs something.

“Huh?” he asks in a knee-jerk reaction before his brain pieces together that it sounded like an apology. “Oh, no need say dat.” He reaches over to pull the cord for his stop and grins. “Maybe I see you tomorrow, yeah?”

She nods, glances up at him for a second, and looks down once more.

He gets off the bus feeling pretty good about himself in the bright morning sun.

Only to realize--

Maybe he should have made sure she got home all the way.

Maybe he should have gotten off at her stop with her.

The library isn’t really that far a walk back to his own home.

…

She’s probably fine, right?

She wouldn’t have fallen asleep again, right?

Why did she faint anyway?

Should he have asked more?

His consciousness won’t let up. He could call, but if he calls, then he really probably will need to ask her out eventually. Well, he plans on it anyway, but if he calls, then that would really solidify things, and she’d expect something from him by, like, tomorrow.

Well, that’s all hypothetical. If he can even find her name in the phonebook...

...He finds it.

“Who you calling?” his mom asks, teasing him, as she pops up beside him in the kitchen. “Noddah one of your girlfriends?”

“...No…”

“Ohh, you asking a girl out? Why you no jus’ call her? She goin’ turn you down, ah!” she laughs, all by herself. “Who like go out wit you, ah?” Her laughter rings throughout the house.

He wishes he could yell at her to shut up, but then she’d go get the slipper and give him some serious dirty lickins.

So he keeps his eyes on the phonebook, and with his mom’s derision motivating him, picks up the receiver and hooks his finger into the first digit, gaining self-confidence with each pull, release, and spin of the dial.

If it’s the parents, then that’s fine. He’ll make a good impression. Maybe. He doesn’t need to talk to Hinata, he just wants the family to know that she fainted. He gets the feeling Hinata’s not the type to talk about things like that to her family.

But then...maybe the cannery already called them about it.

The dial tone ends.

He takes a readying breath. “...Hello?”

“Hello?” It’s a young girl’s voice.

“Is this Hinata’s house?” he continues, desperately trying to imitate a school valedictorian or maybe a teacher...

“...Yeah...Who’s this?”

“This is Naruto...I, uh, work same place, at da cannery.”

“...She’s not home, yet. And she’s not supposed to talk to boys.”

What? I tought she in dat social club? “Well, I no need talk to her. I jus’ like you guys know that, uh, she wen fainted at work, yeah.”

“...”

“...So, she should be home soon, I get off da bus a little befo’ her, I jus’ like try check she gets home okay..yeah..”

“...Okay.” In the background, he hears a faint voice talking before the girl on the line continues, “It’s a boy.”

“Huh?”

“He’s saying Hinata fainted at work. And that she should be home soon.”

He realizes she’s talking to someone else, so he awkwardly waits.

“Okay, ...uhhmm...” Her voice trails out for a solid second.

She talking to me now? “Oh, yeah?”

“Thank you, I’m gonna go meet her. Bye.”

“Oh-” The line cuts, his own goodbye stuck in his throat. He places the receiver back down, uncertain what to make of that whole exchange, wondering what about it left him dissatisfied. He did what he meant to do, after all... That must have been a younger sister.

“Hinata? You neva talk about her befo’,” his mom observes as she gathers her things for work. “You met her at da cannery?”

“No, she one year youngah dan me at sku’.”

“She wen faint? Why you neva walk her back home, ah?!”

“I no tink dat until aftah!” he defends. “Das why I wen call!”

“You no can get one decent girlfriend acting li’dat, ah!, dis stupid son of mine, ahh, ah, if you jus’ focus on sku’ mo’, get bettah grades, get mo’ smartah, ah,” his mom tuts and laments off on a tangent, and he ignores her.

He sees her off for work at the door, his mind turning back to whether he needs to ask Hinata out tomorrow. Especially since, “She’s not supposed to talk to boys.” What’s that about?

He never does find out. There’s no way he could ask such a question, and the summer passes too fast for him to face her plainly. He’s not sure why, but whenever he imagines her turning him down, the idea hurts a lot more than it should.

Logically, he knows itʻs just a yes or no answer. He’s been turned down here and there. He’s gone on numerous dates, danced with girls, and played silly social games with the opposite sex at parties. And concerning Hinata, she’s a year younger than him, so the chances of seeing her on campus are a lot smaller, so he wouldn’t have to face her that often if she does turn him down.

So why can’t he just ask her out?

She held out hope.

She thanked him profusely the day after, and he was extremely nice to her. He went back on the bus with her for that entire following week's shifts, making sure she was okay, before he determined that she was safe enough without him.

He went back to surfing in the mornings.

The day of their last shift, she held out so much hope.

He didn’t ask her out.

So she tries to shrug it off.

The disappointment.

The deep, far too deep, disappointment. She’s probably just not his type.

But to her surprise, that’s not the last time she sees him before school starts.

Their social clubs host a joint car wash to raise money.

She pushes down her shy feelings, knowing that if he has absolutely no interest in dating her, then there’s really no reason for her to act strangely around him. It would simply be rude of her to ignore him after spending all summer the way they did on the bus together. Gathering her courage, she walks up to him and calls out his name, “Naruto! Hi!” She smiles, hoping to appear as cheerful as possible.

“Oh!” He turns from his friends, already knowing whose voice it was, but still caught off-guard.

She’s dressed really casually--in shorts, a shirt, and rubber slippers, obviously appropriate for the day’s work, but still strange to see on her. He somehow thought maybe she didn’t own casual clothes like that.

“Hinata! Hi!” he responds, a little belatedly. He feels really stupid, somehow his grin feels unnatural, too tense. He watches her smile again and then turn back to her friends.

Something gnaws at his consciousness, like he missed out on saying or doing something he should have done in that moment. Ask her how she’s been in the past week? He just saw her not too long ago, so that would be dumb to ask.

“Whose dat again?”

He blinks out of his stare and turns to Sasuke.

“Hinata. Hinata Hyuuga. We bo’ worked night shift at da cannery.”

“You ask her out?”

“...No, nah yet…” he admits, nerves crawling around, making him feel guilty out of nowhere.

Sasuke raises a brow. “You like her?”

He shrugs his shoulders, frowning, trying to play off the intrusive question as nothing to him. “...Yeah…”

Now both of Sasuke’s brows are raised.

Naruto shifts uncomfortably. Every single second here is making him realize he should’ve gotten the deed done and over with already. Now she’s around all of his fellow club members. Any one of the other guys could ask her out by the end of the day.

She could take a liking to one of his friends. He realizes that his chances were so much higher when it was just the two of them.

She and Sakura walk around helping to pass out sponges and buckets. They introduce themselves to several boys, all of them very friendly.

Hinata herself feels very friendly. After her act of courage in facing Naruto, after getting that difficult exchange done with, she feels pretty bold.

She’s in this social club to have fun! She won’t let a little one-sided crush damper her day!

True that none of the other guys are as naturally magnetic as Naruto, but she knows that first impressions aren’t everything. All of these guys in his social club seem perfectly nice, helping to fill and carry the heavy buckets of water for the girls.

She sets to work on a car, excitedly engaging in discussions about the new school year with whoever works beside her. And with an observant eye, she manages to not work on the same side of a car as Naruto.

Two hours pass in laughter and good spirits, even with how the noonday sun beats down, pouring heat over the asphalt lot.

The once cool water comes out hot from the hose, and the buckets are just puddles of liquid sun she has to dunk her hand and sponge into as infrequently as possible.

The constant bending is nothing to her, though. After a whole summer of cannery work on her feet, she’s pretty sure she’s more fit than last year. She’s not even sweating as much as she thought she would.

Until she gets up too fast.

Her head sears hot, her vision darkening into pinpoints of bright light.

She tries to squint, to see through the sudden tunnels of black, but her eyes burn, and just as quickly, she feels off-balance, her head too heavy to hold up.

She crouches down, face in her hands, confused and pained.

“Hinata, you okay?” Sakura, most likely.

“I can’t see.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t see,” she repeats, trying to stay calm despite the painful splotches of color beneath her eye lids. “It hurts.” And she feels like she’s going to pass out, but she refuses to embarrass herself like that in front of everyone.

“Oh my gosh… Water. Water!” Sakura says louder.

“Wut’s wrong!” Another voice.

Oh no, not that voice.

“She’s dehydrated I think!”

“Oh shit,” he curses.

Hinata sits as still as possible, focusing on not tipping over into a ball and fainting right there on the dirty, poky ground. Not again.

“Here, water,” Sakura says, her voice stressed and concerned. “Can you raise your head?”

“Mm.” She slowly lifts her face and opens her mouth.

A plastic water bottle is placed at her lips, lukewarm liquid flowing onto her tongue. She drinks it dutifully, the pain in her head clearing rather quickly.

She eventually pushes the water bottle away and wipes her lips on the back of her hand. “Thank you,” she breathes out, relieved that her head’s weight is starting to feel normal again. But she keeps her eyes closed, too afraid to strain her vision. Or to see if she attracted everyone’s attention...or to find out if Naruto is still there.

“Do you feel better?” Sakura asks, still sounding way more worried than necessary.

“Yeah, thank you, Sakura.”

“Can you see?”

“I don’t know…” She doesn’t want to test herself too soon, but she cracks her eyes open, if only to assure Sakura that she’s okay.

The world is a bright fog through the slight cracks of her eyelids.

But it doesn’t hurt.

“I’ll be able to see fine in a minute, I think.”

Sakura sighs in relief. “Good.”

A random boy whose deep voice she doesn’t recognize asks what happened.

“She dehydrated,” Naruto answers.

Hinata doesn’t know whether to feel flattered or dreadfully embarrassed that he’s still there.

“Oh, das not good,” the other boy assesses.

“Yeah…” Naruto agrees.

“I’ll be fine in a moment!” Hinata pipes up, her personality automatically choosing to feel embarrassed.

The unknown guy makes a sound of uncertainty.

“Yeah, Hinata,” Sakura adds on. “I don’t think you should help out right away. You could’ve gotten heatstroke.”

“Heatstroke?” she asks.

“Dere’s no shade ‘round hea,” Naruto comments.

Hinata slowly forces her eyes to adjust, hoping to prove them all wrong. “I can see. I’m fine.” She starts to get up carefully.

More sounds of uncertainty resound behind her, and she hates how all three of them are treating her like she could collapse at any moment.

Like, even if she could collapse at any moment, even if that is what just happened, she doesn’t want this to be how everyone sees her from now on. Like some weak, stupid girl who forgets to drink water on a hot day.

Even if that is what she is.

“I can take her home.” Naruto’s invitation has her finally turning around to face her audience.

To her relief, it’s just the three of them, Sakura, Naruto, and a pretty, black-haired Japanese boy she’s seen him hanging out with.

“Yeah, take her home,” the pretty boy says. He claps Naruto’s arm.

Naruto gives some kind of smile that’s really cute, and Hinata has to force herself to try not to examine anything he’s said or done in the past five minutes.

He made her over-examine his behavior all summer, only for it to amount to nothing. He’s just really nice and treats her like a good friend. That’s all.

Sakura helps her walk to his car.

And all too soon, she’s sitting right next to him.

Naruto starts up the engine, blasting the AC so that cool air roars onto their heated faces.

“I’m sorry.” She gulps down a knot of discomfort in her throat, already regretting so much.

“Nah, no need say dat.” His stomach feels sore, his legs antsy. He was trying to nonchalantly work on the cars by her, but somehow, he wonders if she was avoiding him.

She’s too nice to do that, right? She never tried to avoid him at their summer job…

He needs to gauge her interest in him. So after he backs out of the parking space and safely makes it into traffic, he ventures conversation. “How you feeling now?”

She nods. “I feel better. I could’ve stayed, I think…”

“...Oh…” He’s already on Moanalua Home Road, and turning around now would be humbug. “Are you sure?”

“Mm…” She’s not sure. She just doesn’t want to seem so frail.

“‘S'okay, ya know? Already get plenny help, das why, no need chance 'm.”

“Mm...okay… Thank you...I’m sorry…”

With conversation finding its natural, quick end, he finds himself wracking his brain for ideas. He has about five more minutes with her before they get to her house. I should ask her out...I should just ask her...just ask her…

“Oh, I like this song.”

“Hm?” He turns the radio up, glad to focus on something outside of his brain. “Oh, yeah!”

It’s a newish one by Cecilio and Kapono, one he imagines will be really popular at social club dances, the slow tempo is perfect.

Not knowing what else to do to fill the silence, she starts singing softly. She can tell he’s glancing at her, but she keeps her eyes fixed determinedly forward, her gut turning to jelly as the romantic meaning registers in her mind. “...Our small moment that we shared, Is only yours and mine, No one else is really going to know, That I care about you…”

His cheeks flush. This song really is perfect for a social club dance. He never paid that much attention to the lyrics, but with her soft voice singing them, the words are suddenly resonating, hitting a little too close-to-home.

“And all the questions that I asked myself about you…”

He's made up his mind. He’s going to ask her out.

“Won’t you come and be with me…”

Right after this song.

“That if you come and stay you’re going to see, That I care about you.”

He relaxes into his seat, his grasp, unintentionally tight on the wheel, relaxes, too. If she's comfortable enough to sing in his presence, then there's nothing stopping him from feeling comfortable, too. It's actually really nice to know that she's willing to do something like this with him. He's stressed out for nothing. He's hesitating for nothing. And maybe, if things work out, this feeling...this moment...would be normal...

She peeks at him, and...he’s smiling. He’s not teasing, laughing, or grimacing at her. So she continues singing, relieved.

When the song finishes, he lowers the volume, reassured, readier than ever. “Hinata…”

She blinks, realizing they’re really close to her house, and Naruto doesn't know where to go. “Oh! You turn left at the intersection after this light.”

Jarred to the present, he suddenly notices his heart racing, despite how calm he felt not even ten seconds ago. The words get lost on his tongue, and he simply follows her instructions, the opportune moment evaporating into nothing.

“It’s that house,” she points, and he slows, pulling over against the curb.

She turns to him to give her appreciation properly.

But he’s facing directly toward her, his usually cheerful expression one of uncharacteristic focus.

Her heart leaps into her throat.

“Hinata," he repeats. "You like, go movies with me, sometime?”

She nods, speechless, because yes, yes, yes.

And he visibly relaxes. He can breathe again. Her agreement was so much easier than he thought it would be. “I go check da listings den, okay? And I’ll call you?”

She nods, eyes growing wide as everything starts to sink in.

He nods, too, an embarrassed smile working at his mouth. “Talk to you later den, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she breathes, a smile forming in reaction. In a fog of happiness, she steps out of the car, nearly forgetting. “Oh, thank you for taking me home!”

He nods, thinking that this won't be the last time he makes sure she gets home. He notices how her happy smile lights up her eyes like earlier at the carwash, but now, it’s directed at him, him only. And once she disappears into her house, more than anything, he feels incredible relief.

And excitement.

He gets the feeling…

She gets the feeling…

This is going to last.

#naruhina2020 #naruhina fanfic #naruhina fanfiction #1970s au #dialect fic #code switching #race changes au #high school au #thank you for reading!

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