#based on an incorrect sterek quote

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

“I need to talk to you and not as your friend.”

Stiles and Derek are engaged, but Cora has something to talk to Stiles about first, and not as his friend. [AO3]

Cora, Derek and Stiles sat in the living room, Cora and Stiles at opposite ends of the couch with Derek wedge between them.

They’d made it a tradition that they spent Sundays together, unless - of course - there was an emergency. Most Sundays they’d go for a walk through the reserve, watch movies together, or play the world’s most competitive games of Mario Kart.

Today, they were playing a few multiplayer games get Stiles had found for them.

In between games, Derek set his controller down.

“I’m going to get a drink,” he announced as he stood up. “Anyone want anything?”

“Don’t say ‘that cake’,” Cora growled at Stiles who was openly ogling his fiancé’s ass.

Stiles smirked, chuckling slightly. “Dr Pepper for me please.”

Derek turned to Cora, arching a brow and waiting for her request.

“Same,” Cora added. “Thanks.”

“Two Dr Peppers coming up,” Derek said as he skirted around the coffee table in the middle of the living room and out the door.

Once she was sure her brother was out of earshot, Cora scooted across the couch towards Stiles. She turned towards him and - rather abruptly - said, “I need to talk to you and not as your friend.” Stiles’ eyes widened with excitement. A small - joking - gasp escaped his lips. “We're friends?”

“Yes,” Cora replied, regretting it as she said it, “but if you tell anyone, I will deny it.”

Stiles nodded, expecting as much. “Okay. Will we still be friends after this conversation?”

“Yes, but I'm starting to reconsider my options.” Cora narrowed her eyes at him, a look of exasperation settling in to the shadows and creases of her face. “That’s beside the point! What I have to say now, I say as Derek's sister, not as your friend.”

“Okay...” Stiles replied, hesitantly.

Cora drew in a deep breath, calming herself.

“You two are getting married, and I'm happy for both of you,” she started, but her voice quickly took a dark turn, deepening to a threatening tone as her eyes pierced him, “but if you ever hurt my brother, if you ever break his heart or make him cry, I will hunt you down and kill you, got it?”

Stiles swallowed hard and nodded. “Got it.”

Cora’s glare softened as she sat back, relaxed. “Okay.”

“Are you back to talking to me as a friend again?” Stiles asked.

Cora fought the urge to roll her eyes. “Yeah.”

A spark of mischief lit Stiles’ eyes. “Dude, you won't believe what Derek's sister just said to me!”

Cora tried - and failed - not to laugh, letting out a short snort as she dipped her head to hide the smirk that turned up the corners of her lips.

[noyzinerd]

Derek: Okay, I got you your frappuccino with extra foam, creamer, and espresso shots. They were out of all the lactose-free, non-dairy options, so I hope you brought your Lactaid pills.

Stiles, practically a zombie after working a case for 48 hours: No pills. Ran out. Don't care. Caffeine. Need. NOW.

Derek: Stiles, no. It'll make you sick. There should be some extra Lactaid in the Jeep. If you can just hold out for like 5 minutes, I can go down and get it.

Stiles: I'm not a child, Derek. I have self-control.

Derek: Stiles.

Stiles: Okay! I'll wait! Jeez.

Derek: Thank you. Now, I'll be right back. Do. Not. Move. *leaves*

Stiles:

Stiles:

Stiles: Fuck it. Looks like we're destroying ourselves tonight *frantically chugs frappuccino*

[Literally 5 minutes later]

Derek: *sigh* Stiles. Seriously?

Stiles, throwing up violently in the toilet: DEREK HaLP! mY bELLy Is FuLL oF DEMONS AnD REgrET

[rockabye-billy]

In which you can pinpoint the exact moment Billy knew Jonathan is the one.

[corvu-ss]

Jackson, backing away: You know I support women’s rights!

Erica, approaching with her claws out: Yeah? Well I also support women’s wrongs!

[tails89]

Based off this incorrect sterek quote

“Hey.” Derek wanders back into the bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed to tug on his sneakers. “I’ve got to go to work, can you do me a favor?”

Stiles rolls over, curling into the warmth of Derek’s back.

“I would literally cover up a murder you committed,” he murmurs sleepily, “plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it if you asked to.”

A smile tugs at Derek’s lips and he stands, ignoring Stiles little noise of complaint as he moves away from the bed.

“Can you do the dishes?”

Stiles blinks up at him from the sheets. “No.”

“So what,” Derek asks, arms folded. “You’ll commit murder for me but you won’t wash a plate?”

Shrugging, Stiles reaches to pull the covers back over himself. “Gotta draw the line somewhere, Der. And murder sounds infinitely more fun than washing the dishes.”

[ao3feed-sterek]

Sterek One Shot #1

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3iu18IL

by Im_Tytastic

Based on this quote I found on Tumblr (incorrect sterek quotes) : Stiles: Have I ever told you how much I love you? Derek: ... We aren't getting Burger King. Stiles: what even is the point of this relationship?

Words: 1041, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Sterek One Shots

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski

Relationships: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale

Additional Tags: sterek, One Shot, Sterek one shot, POV Stiles Stilinski, Scott's potato stew, based on a quote

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3iu18IL

[ao3-sterek]

Sterek One Shot #2

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2DYd7Q7

by Im_Tytastic

Based on this quote I found on Tumblr (incorrect sterek quotes) : Scott (it was actually Boyd, but I changed it to Scott): explain to me how you two got into an accident. Stiles: Well, we were driving, and there was a deer on the road, and Derek didn’t notice it so I said “der, deer!” Scott: …and? stiles: Tell him what you said. Derek: *sighs* Derek: “yes, honey?”

Words: 312, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Sterek One Shots

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf)

Relationships: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale

Additional Tags: One Shot, Funny, sterek, based on a quote

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2DYd7Q7

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

Derek: Yesterday, I heard Isaac ask “Are you sure this a good idea?” And Stiles said “Trust me”.

Derek: I have never moved from one room to another so quickly.

[noyzinerd]

Stiles: I miss the KFC Double Down.

Derek:...You're like if a Florida man was trapped in the body of a highschool boy.

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

Derek addressing his pack: Hello, fives? A ten is speaking.

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

Derek: I really don't want to do this, but I know one way we can raise some money.

Stiles: You'd make a good stripper.

Derek: (offended) I'd make a great stripper! The best stripper!

[ao3feed-sterek]

Sterek One Shot #2

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2DYd7Q7

by Im_Tytastic

Based on this quote I found on Tumblr (incorrect sterek quotes) : Scott (it was actually Boyd, but I changed it to Scott): explain to me how you two got into an accident. Stiles: Well, we were driving, and there was a deer on the road, and Derek didn’t notice it so I said “der, deer!” Scott: …and? stiles: Tell him what you said. Derek: *sighs* Derek: “yes, honey?”

Words: 312, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Sterek One Shots

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf)

Relationships: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale

Additional Tags: One Shot, Funny, sterek, based on a quote

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2DYd7Q7

[ao3-sterek]

Sterek One Shot #1

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3iu18IL

by Im_Tytastic

Based on this quote I found on Tumblr (incorrect sterek quotes) : Stiles: Have I ever told you how much I love you? Derek: ... We aren't getting Burger King. Stiles: what even is the point of this relationship?

Words: 1041, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Sterek One Shots

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski

Relationships: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale

Additional Tags: sterek, One Shot, Sterek one shot, POV Stiles Stilinski, Scott's potato stew, based on a quote

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3iu18IL

[ao3-sterek]

Significant Annoyance

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2ATBysM

by Inhuman_Shadow

Based off an incorrect Teen Wolf quote I found online. The Reader is Derek's baby brother, who's dating Isaac and the four of them are just hanging out.

Words: 427, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Male Reader, You

Relationships: sterek - Relationship, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey/ Male Reader

Additional Tags: Fluff

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2ATBysM