#basically I agree with a lot of your points wholeheartedly anon but I also think its a bit of a harsh read on Ted lol

[vveakfish]

do you have any thoughts about the core four whose gender(s) are basically just a trans fruit cocktail that you would like to talk about? because I would love to listen

oh boy DO I !!!

I have So Many thoughts about them Anon, so thank you for giving me an excuse to try and put it into words beyond “Damn, these bitches trans! Good for them.”

Honestly, there are so many different ways to explore these characters genders based on how you choose to interpret their life experiences, and their aesthetic changes, and their relationships with each other. I am of the belief that any of them could be trans in any direction

But, that said, I Do have particular gender headcanons for YJ that i am very fond of, so thats what I’ll be talking about today.

(Small disclaimer. I have not finished all of the comics referenced in this. I am using the information i have to inform these, but you know, i might come back to this post at some point in the future and look at it like “wow, i don’t agree with any of this anymore.” And i think thats okay.

I’m just here to have fun, and i thoroughly enjoy these little guys, and think abt them alot, so enjoy

(also if you dont want to read 4.1k words of blorbo gender analysis, or would like to avoid spoilers for Superboy (1993), Young Justice (1998) & (2019), and Red Robin (2009) in varying degrees of detail, or you just want to see what lables i assigned them, scroll down to the bottom <3))

lets get started.

Bart:

Bart's gender is the most complex, but his thought process about it is also the most simple. I think his view of gender would be very much influenced by the fact that he grew up in VR in the future like…

A body is just an avatar, do what ever the fuck you want with it.

That said, the lil guy has always given me transmasc vibes. These vibes, however, are by no means binary.

He understands that in the 21st century a lot of people do not have his sort of “throw things at the wall and see what sticks” approach to gender, so he’s okay with being put in the box of Boy™. But his gender is a lot more * hand waves vaguely *

Clothes don’t have gender in his eyes, they’re fabric you put on your body. Wear what ever you want forever!

Bart in skirts is something i have seen many people draw/talk about before, and its something i agree with wholeheartedly. He likes hair clips, and like, those loud (actually loud and visually loud) beaded bracelet type things that ravers wear. He like nail polish. He doesn’t grow facial hair, but he wouldn’t care if he did. He’s not on hormones, but he definitely considered it for the bit. “Gotta drink my boy juice” Kind of vibes.

For him gender has Nothing to do with performance, its all about comfort. About wearing what feels right, regardless of whether or not he’s adhering to expectations of masculinity.

Yes, he Will wear that god awful outfit out of the house, haters can die mad

Cassie:

Anon, I need you to understand how much i love early yj98 cass. She is everything to me — her process of coming to terms with herself, and being able to watch her start to feel at home in her own skin. It makes me absolutely feral.

lets see if i can explain why… succinctly

When we first meet her in yj98, her identity as “Wonder Girl” is this sort of amalgamation of What it Means To Be A Hero in her eyes. She has her party city blunt bob wig (Because Diana is who she looks up to), the gloves, leather jacket, goggles combo (that so clearly take inspiration from Kon).

At this point in her life Wonder Girl is not really her. Its very clearly a mask she’s putting on. which is what makes it the perfect avenue for her to explore gender expression without it having to actually be about her gender.

I think the part that specifically makes me feral though is her… we’ll call it admiration of Kon.

The girl is a self proclaimed Superboy stan + theres all the weird not-drama between Cassie and Cissie over wanting attention from Kon. (And i say Not Drama bc its like… Kon flirting with cissie (which like… have you met 90’s Kon?? he flirts with everything that moves) and Cassie being upset that he’s Not flirting with her. and cissie is just along for the ride. She’s not quite as much of a flirt as kon is, but she has her moments)

All of this to say i feel like its impossible to have a conversation about Cassie’s gender without also talking about her experiences with comphet and lesbianism.

At the beginning, Cassie sees Kon — this cocksure, conventionally attractive boy with powers that (at first glance) seem very similar to hers, and felt something about it. And, in the way of teen girls who have been told since grade school that they’re supposed to like boys, Cassie comes to the conclusion that what she feels for Kon must be romantic in nature, right?.

All of this, the jealousy over Kon and Cissie flirting, basing her costume off Superboy’s (intentionally or otherwise), the fact that she wont let her team see her without the wig and goggles at all for so much of yj98. To me it all reads as the tangled mix of undiscovered lesbianism and gender dysphoria that the poor girl simply doesn’t have the words to define yet.

So, then what IS cassie’s deal with gender???

i am so very glad you asked.

She, too, is a transmasc of the nonbinary variety.

I think her relationship to femininity is complex, and ever changing. She doesn’t feel comfortable performing femininity the way the world expects her to, but she is also part Amazon. And i think having a relationship with both Diana and Donna would greatly influence how she felt about femininity as a whole.

The Amazons are strong, their femininity isn’t about beauty, or being soft spoken — it isn’t about Men at all. On Themyscira, to be a Woman is about bravery, honor, skill, and in some ways, divinity. Getting closer with her Amazonian sisters would change her relationship to womanhood immensely.

But it still wouldn’t feel Right. She would be able to see that womanhood can be defined differently, but that wouldn’t change the connotations that womanhood had as she was growing up. She’d never be able to lean into it the way Diana or Donna do — they both grew up only having woman defined as strong and brave and confident. Their experiences are not analogous.

The baggage of growing up a girl under the patriarchy wouldn’t just… vanish because she sees that it Doesn’t have to be that way. In some ways, the knowledge that it didn’t have to be that way could make her dysphoria all that stronger (especially if she hasn’t quite deciphered that dysphoria is what she’s feeling).

but i think there would be a point where two things sharpen into focus for her.

fiirstly she has a big fat crush on cissie king-jones.

and second (which would only come AFTER realizing her feelings for cissie) is that what she feels for Kon is Not the same as what she feels for Ciss.

She didn’t want to be with Kon romantically, she just wanted his gender.

I could see her experimenting with wearing a binder, liking that she can get rid of her boobs if she isn’t feeling them that day.

She already has her short hair, and her leather jacket and jeans, and shes big and buff and strong (because she deserves to be butch!!! okay???).

I still think she would use she/her pronouns, but she wouldn’t be picky ab it (if she gets called sir while at the pizza place, she’s not going to correct them.)

But here’s the kicker — I think leaning hard into her masculinity would be EXACTLY what she needs in order to actually ENJOY expressing femininity again.

When putting on the mask that is ‘womanhood’ becomes something that she can Choose to do, rather than something that is being forced on her, it can be pleasant. Like playing dress up.

She has a new appreciation for it, especially since her friends respect her gender, and she knows at the end of the day, when she takes the makeup, the clothes, and the wig off, underneath it all she’s just her.

(Small addendum re: TT’03 Cassie’s fem phase. I have Many thoughts about this as well, and while they end up in roughly the same place, i exploring her experience with comphet and her decision to dress in a more traditionally feminine in that run is something id like to explore in another post (once i’ve actually read the run too.)

Cissie (bonus):

This one should be shorter than Cassies, mainly because my reasoning for it is much simpler.

YJ'98 (#11)

She lists all these names, all of them feminine except for Fucking Ralph. “One weird phase” she calls it.

To me, Cissie is a transgirl through and through. She has this huge list of femme names she tried on while she tried to find the one that fit best. She mentions ralph in this off handed way, as if its not important, and i think thats just her way of dismissing her deadname as something of little consequence.

(that said, i think there’s lots of fun to be had with transmasc cissie, or tried transing-her-gender and realized it wasn’t for her Cissie. But as a transfemme, tgirl cissie is So important to me <3)

Kon:

other people on here have made posts about Kon’s gender that are much more coherent than this will be, but i’m putting the words down anyway. bear with me.

Kon’s experience with identity (especially in his earlier years) is almost entirely about the external rather than the internal.

Kon has his whole life planned out for him from the moment he opens his eyes. It’s simple really — become Superman.

So you have this freshly hatched teenage boy, saving the world as Superman (not the Only one, but definitely the coolest one (Kon would argue)). All eyes on him, all the time. In some ways, performance is inseparable from who he is. From the very beginning, everything he does is on display.

He starts his life with a Name (Superman), a life path (…again, Superman), and all the confidence of a sixteen year old jock with nothing but wins under his belt. then it all gets taken away.

Turns out Clark ISNT dead, and the world doesn’t need its pint sized superman anymore now that its got the real thing.

enter Superboy

Kon’s entire identity, his whole purpose for being alive, was to step into the shoes of a dead man who is no longer dead. So where does that leave our genetically engineered test tube baby?

lost, and extremely confused.

But he’s good at using his charisma as a shield, and even better at keeping himself busy. His problems aren’t there if he doesn’t have the time to think about them, right?

and i think that’s true about his gender as well.

Similar to Cassie, his discovery and exploration of his gender feels incredibly tied to his sexuality (to me). If you’ve read sb93, you know Kon’s deal with women. He is cute & conventionally attractive & he's like superman with a fashion sense, so of course there are people fawning over him.

And he loves the attention. He likes that people want him, or that they are looking at him. The issue is he doesn’t have the life experience to realize that their reasons for paying attention to him are often very shallow, manipulative, or selfish.

He isn’t treated as a person very often. He’s a brand, a product, a tool, a weapon. He’s arm candy, he’s a photo op, he’s a headline, he’s a paycheck. And it takes him a long time to be able to tell the difference between someone Liking Him & someone Using Him.

For the longest Time, Superboy is all he is. He doesn’t have a name outside of that identity (except for the various pet names the women in his life give him (kid & pup, mainly)).

And even when Clark does give him his real name, Kon-El, its still Attatched to his identity as Superboy.

I dont think that he would really even be able to start dissecting how HE feels about his identity until he’s much older.

Part of this would come from the space to be someone else that gaining a civilian identity would give him. As Superboy, the goal has always been to stand out, to be seen, to shine like the sun.

As Conner Kent, he has to blend in. He doesnt want to draw attention to himself, or the Kents, or Clark. He has to fit in, which was never something he had to do as Kon. And i think it would kind of chafe at him — but he wouldn’t really know why.

I think he’d chalk it up to how different of an experience it is. Not being loud, having to be normal™. And so i think he’d just… continue to play the part. For a while anyway.

And like, part of being Normalest Boy Conner Kent would also involve actively un-queer coding himself for the sake of fitting into the ecosystem of Smallville High. and its like…

Young Justice, as a friend group, is SOOO queerplatonic. The lines between romantic and platonic intimacy are so blurred, and Prior to Kon’s YJ days he he was also like… living with these woman who he had complicated relationships with that also blurred the lines between platonic, romantic, and sexual (…looking at you, Knockout).

So learning where the line is when it comes to how he can acceptably interact with his civilian friends (particularly the boys) would Really open his eyes to just how close he is with Bart and Tim, and how similar his feelings for them are to his feelings for… lets say, Simon Valentine.

But i dont think That is what would actually tip the scale. I think realizing that these feelings for his friends aren’t considered ‘normal’ would make him shove them down deeper. As ‘Conner’ anyway.

from here it could go two ways, right?

Either we get Teen Titans ‘03 t-shirt Kon, who sheds his GNC 90s swag in exchange for adhering closer to traditional (read; boring) masculine gender roles.

or we get a Kon who leans Harder into his punk roots, but its a conscious choice now.

(this isn’t even digging into how he would feel once Jon comes into the picture, because while Kon cares for that boy Deeply, his feelings abt the new kiddo in the family could also be very complicated. But that’s a post for another time.)

Personally i prefer the second one.

Kon has always been a curious kid, i love the way he makes pop culture references, and how he bases his behavior off of 90’s teen tropes that he Most Definitely learned from TV. In his early days this wasn’t done in a research way necessarily, but he Did want to learn what it was like to Be a Teen™, and TV was the easiest way to figure that out.

(and, playing in the space of Kon adaptations, his love of media/pop culture, and just over all thirst for knowledge, are present both in the Reign of the Supermen Movie, and in his iteration during the n52 (which is one of the few things i personally have internalized from reading n52 Superboy/Teen Titans)).

But post gay awakening, i feel liked he’d be interested not just in behaviors, but also the context of them. Digging into punk as a subculture rather than as an aesthetic. Learning about its connections to queerness, and community, and self expression. And i think this would be extremely freeing for him. (especially if this were around the time of Jon becoming Superboy v.3, but again, not the point of this post.)

this all culminates in Kon being like yk? gender just… isnt for me. Like, it takes im a long time to get to this point, but realizing that the path that was set out for him is just one of the potential paths he can take, and while he might not know where this new path will take him, its his, that that matters.

And also like, Because his friends are who they are, he’s seen different versions of queerness, and transness, but i think it would take him a bit to see himself as someone who Isn’t Cis bc like… he doesnt have dysphoria in the traditional sense.

He’s still the beefcake he’s always been, but i think he’d start playing with makeup when he realizes it makes him feel good (he shows up the the cave one day with smudgy eye liner and Cissie is immediately like a) you look so good and b) can i Please do your makeup? (and then she does it, and he looks so pretty, and he gets these weird giddy feelings that he doesn’t realize is gender euphoria until his friends start talking abt gender euphoria)

His uniform starts to get more personalized too, like the designs where he has knee patches, and all his little belts, and stuff. maybe he starts experimenting with showing skin. bc he deserves it

(’its for maximum sun exposure!!!’ is the what he tells clark… he’s not sure if clark bought it or not)

And hey, exploring gender presentation more as Superboy might help him do the same as Conner. Cassie will take him thrifting, he’ll try of a flowy skirt or a sun dress or something and then its Over. Gender euphoria part two, electric boogagloo.

In the end, its about realizing that adhering gender roles (and truthfully, any socially imposed ‘rule’ about self expression) is something he can simply Choose not to do. And i think this freedom would be something that benefits him in his civilian life as well.

His gender is: literally what ever, man.

Tim:

Ok, here’s the thing about Tim and gender, right? I think he’s kind of just comfortable as he is. He’s good at playing the roles he needs to in what ever situation hes thrown into. ‘Robin’ and ‘Tim Drake’ (and even ‘Tim Drake-Wayne’ if you want to split hairs) might be masks he wears, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less him. if that makes sense. like…

Lets look at the differences between Bruce (or Brucie) and Batman for a second. They really are different people. Batman is who bruce is at his core, ‘bruce’ is this sort of liminal space between the cowl and his public persona, and then theres Brucie™, and well, you know how he is. These are personas that Bruce puts on.

With Tim its like he just highlights different aspects of himself when a situation requires it. (oh no, the autistic!Tim head canons are being loud today.) But like, he’s Always been masking. And i think this is something he would look at as like… getting a good grade in adapting. or something. He’s comfortable, all the roles he plays are ones he’s familiar with, and he doesn’t really question who he is outside of who he needs to be.

That is, until Caroline Hill makes an appearance.

I feel that the decision to go undercover as a woman was a wholly practical decision in the moment. It’s what the mission required, and therefore tim stepped up. Its just another mask, right? Surely this wont awaken anything in him…right?

But this is an entirely new mask. And i think it might like… shift the way he looks at/thinks about the other masks he puts on. He was able to step into a role that was very foreign to him, and it Worked. (and he felt pretty, which like… woah, thats a new feeling. and he kinda liked it? file that under ‘thoughts he doesn’t have the bandwidth to process right now.’ Bruce needs him back at the cave! its time to debreif! and he has a biology test tmrw! no time for gender scaries!!!).

I think it would take a while for him to be able to admit it to himself though. Because like… hes Not uncomfortable with his body, but he also keeps thinking about how good he felt dressed up femininely, and how he felt powerful, in a way. That putting on that mask felt just as good as putting on his domino.

Personally, i think itd be funny if instead of coming out right away, Tim doing undercover missions essentially in drag becomes a recurring thing. And i imagine some people give him a hard time. (not in a transphobic way or anything, i just mean like, teasing him fondly or what ever.) (Also, i like to imagine that when cissie Did kons makeup, bart and Tim jumped in there too bc like hey why not, and hoooooo boy, if Tims egg hadn’t cracked before then, it sure would have cracked after.)

The thing about him is, i’m not sure if he’d come to the realization himself. You know, that he would like to present femme sometimes, in a situation that has Nothing to do with a mission.

I could see Tim convincing himself that its a pointless or frivolous desire, which is Why he relegates his time presenting femme to when he can prove that it’s useful.

but i have this image in my mind, right? Of him, taking his makeup and wig off, and hes chatting with whoever is in the room with him (literally anyone else mentioned above… or Dick). And Tim’s just talking about how he wishes he could present this way in situations other than missions.

and the other person in the room is just like… i mean, you literally can.

and hes just like…. shit you’re right. i Can :0

I could probably go further into depth abt this, but i think this just frees him to start playing with gender more as Tim. and start to recognize when he’s feeling more masculine, more feminine, or somewhere in between.

His gender isn’t consistent, its this thing he’s constantly listening to, and trying to understand. but in the mean time, he can paint his face, and wear pretty clothes, or dress like just Some Guy, or be a hedgehog dressed in traffic light colors, or what ever his heart desires.

As far as like… how He describes his gender, i think he’d say something corny like bi^2 (bi of both the sexual and the gendered varieties). Or shrug, handwave, generally give a non-helpful vague description. Or tell who evers asking to buzz off.

(small addendum wrt Kon and Cassie in TT’03. I haven’t read this run yet, so i didn’t really include it in this post. But i Do have thoughts about what might cause the two of them (my gnc besties from my comics books) to lean sooooo hard into traditional gender roles after being So Queercoded in their other appearences. Before i talk abt that though, i want to read the comic. So, that will have to be a post for another time)

ANYWAY, heres that TL;DR i promised.

Bart: NB Transmasc Cassie: NB Lesbian (of the transmasc variety) Kon: Agender Tim: Fluid (bi-gender) + Cissie: Transgirl

Thank you soooooo much for giving me the opporrtunity to ramble abt the silles and how Not Cis i think they are. Love you forever.

[fabbyf1]

I think it’s inevitable with RPF that characterizations are going to be similar. We all rely on the same basic facts and we build what we consider to be canon together, so I’d honestly be worried if characterizations were vastly different—it’s still fanfic, we’re not building brand new characters each time. People get into RPF by reading RPF, so while there’s some variation we all share a vaguely similar idea of what these characters are like and we form those ideas together whether we know it or not, and that in turn gives us a sandbox we can all kind of mess around in together. Obviously lifting whole bits of dialogue or common phrases is very different, though. I think ‘thinking with [character]’s dick’ is a common one but the other two you mentioned seem pretty specific. Again sorry, literally stumbled in off the street and am only distantly aware of what’s happening—I hope this doesn’t come off as rude

Hello, anon.

I appreciate your non-biased and objective opinion on this matter. Really, I do. You make a lot of great points that I wholeheartedly agree with. RPF is a beast. Every story is going to have "similar" characteristics if we're following canon timelines and making our characters as realistic as possible.

I also agree that, as a fandom, we tend to... make up a lot of common personality traits and use them over and over again until it’s hard to remember that they aren’t necessarily real. And they’re not based on facts. But we all continue to use them in our fics, and it helps them to be cohesive and easy to follow along from fic to fic. It helps us writers not have to character build as much as we would in an original fiction. 

A quick example of this is Max referring to Charles as "schatje". I think that's a very commonly used nickname in F1 RPF, even though Max himself has never publicly called anybody that. We have just decided, as a fandom, that that’s the dutch endearment he would use. It’s also easy to take commonly repeated phrases from Max The Person and shove them into our dialogue to make it easier for our characters to have a voice. For example, the phrase “of course” is used a lot in Max's dialogue because Max Verstappen (the person) says it a lot. 

But I think it's important for this instance, for the plagiarism that I'm speaking about, that you know the full context and don't just "stumble in off the street". You openly admitted that you're not fully aware of the situation, and that's totally okay. It's actually kind of refreshing to know not everyone is as concerned about this and that not everyone sees the copycat works as much as often as I do. 

If you’re a casual reader of F1 RPF, you probably don’t know it’s happening. 

But it’s not just me it’s happening to. Lots of other prolific authors are being taken advantage of and having their works stolen from them on an every day basis, and it really needs to stop. We all create this content for free, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have ownership over it. And the only logical reason I can see for people to steal our work is that they are attention-seeking and looking for clout. They want to be known as one of the great RPF authors. They want love and admiration. 

And it’s fine to want that. 

But you shouldn’t want it so badly that you’re willing to steal other people’s work to get it. 

That’s... disgusting. 

This is not the first time I’ve had my work stolen, and it won’t be the last. It’s not the first time somebody has been too heavily inspired by my work, and it won’t be the last. I know that is the risk I take with every fic I publish. It’s just a shame that it’s gotten so out of hand. 

I would like to correct you on one thing, though.  

You said: “I think ‘thinking with [character]’s dick’ is a common one but the other two you mentioned seem pretty specific.” but that’s not what I said. If you’ll go back and read my original post, my direct quote was, “but maybe that was [insert characters]'s dick talking," which is a very different phrase. If you’ve ever read my work, you will see that my characters often go on and on (and on) for a paragraph or two, lusting after the other character, sometimes spiraling further and further until it no longer makes sense and will end with “... but maybe that was [their] dick talking.” 

Again, I will say that I do not own that phrase, but I wouldn’t say that was a commonly used phrase in Formula 1 RPF until I started using it. 

I would know because I’ve been reading F1 RPF since it first started getting posted on AO3. 

I have read a good majority of the (completed) F1 fics posted to AO3. 

I know what existed before I started writing and what has appeared afterward. 

And again, let me clearly say I am not claiming to own that phrase or any other combination of words. But when that phrase, along with other commonly used phrases from my fic, all appear one after another in someone’s work? It’s too much of a coincidence to say it wasn’t intentional. 

But I do not expect you to know that since, as you said, you stumbled in off the street. 

I hope that makes sense. 

I hope we can all stop stealing from each other, or this fandom will be over before you know it. 

[youremyheaven]

i'm a different anon but girl, i'm so sorry that happened to you. i had the same first time experience as you and i wholeheartedly agree w/ your advice. don't sleep w someone just to not be a virgin bc being one isn't even a bad thing & it's infinitely better than having to heal from such an intimate form of assault especially when it's the only sexual experience you know. personally i'm still healing from it & it seems like it will just last forever. if you don't mind me asking since i know it's a sensitive topic, is there anything in particular that has helped you heal? i'm sending you a lot of warmth & love ❤️🫂

hi love<3

thank you, i appreciate it <3 and im sending u the same love and healing✨

in some ways i am still healing from that experience even though it was almost a decade ago. more than the memory of it, its the physical and emotional repercussions it had on me that were challenging to navigate, for a long time after that i thought i was asexual, lost my libido, lost touch with my femininity and compounded by many other abusive experiences made me avoid the mirror entirely.

for me what truly changed my whole life was yoga and meditation. specifically yin yoga, women carry a lot of tension in their hips and practicing yin yoga (there are many yin yoga, hip release flow type guided videos on YT if you search for them!!) helped my body feel so loose and fluid and relaxed?? i didnt know how stressed my muscles were until i realized what true relaxation felt like. i remember those initial days of practice, i felt such a profound emotional release as well, like a weight was leaving my chest. relearning sensuality, feeling comfortable in embodying it and reframing sex and my perspective towards it has been a slow journey and some of it is easier than others. but i am doing sooo much better than i was before. meditation also really helped me feel more safe and comfortable in my body and not feel like i had to always be on the lookout for danger or assess other people's intentions. keep in mind, these are not things you can expect overnight changes from. you have to be patient and disciplined and just do it without any expectation. eventually it gets easier. also it keeps you more in tune with your body and intuition and helps with knowing what situations or people to avoid.

i have also been practicing tantric meditation and it has also helped me immensely but i think you should approach tantra after you've reached a point of healing and peace bc tantra can awaken some powerful energies and it can be a lot to handle.

taking care of myself has also helped me. its so funny how when i was struggling with my ed, body dysmorphia and numerous other issues, i did nothing to make myself feel good bc i didnt think i deserved it but by doing things (it can be as simple as applying lotion after a shower, whatever self care habits that make you feel good about yourself!!) that make me feel good, i feel good??? its like those people who say 'omg im so lazy i cant do the dishes' but the truth is you feel lazy bc you havent done the dishes so if you do the dishes you wont feel lazy. i hope this weird analogy makes sense lol. basically do things that feel good and you will feel good, it sounds really basic and almost stupid but i feel like most people wait until they've "earned" it or are "worthy" but the truth is doing it is what will make you feel like you deserve it, if u catch my drift.

anywaaayyys thats all, <333

[erwinsvow]

like i honestly don’t know why people refuse to accept the fact that he can just be complex that way. i may sound a bit delusional but i wholeheartedly believe that season one/two rafe is more than capable of balancing his shitty unhinged asshole persona and his sweet persona when it comes to his girl. that’s what dark romance is all (trust me i’ve read an entire book series about it)

he’s also very fun to write that way. like excuse me if I’m wrong but isn’t that what writing a multi-dimensional character all about? layers, having personality/character traits that contradict each other, etc. that’s what fun about being a writer. you get to find your niche for you specific characters and do what you want with them. it’s fun and it’s apart of the thing that makes writing your own stories so amazing and fun to do as well. your basically bringing your fantasy to life!

sorry i got serious and a bit off topic but yeah! sister-wives unite! can’t wait for your next work!

i completely agree with you!!! it’s also so key that you pointed out it’s fiction !! it’s bringing your fantasy to life which is (duh!!!) a mean boy only being nice to you!! i just don’t get the backlash over something soo simple as that but also who cares bc i know im gonna always write rafe that way and clearly other people want to read it !! i also think like yeahhh i write about shy reader and ktr seeing the best in rafe but those personalities aren’t made up like that’s also all of me and a lot of my followers who see themselves in those readers who see the best in people and so yeah on this blog we’re gonna be seen lol. you’re so right because it is the best part of writing n my favorite part about writing for rafe which is imagining how different he would be if he had a sweet girlfriend in the whole context of the show

sister wife anon thank u for sharing ur thoughts ur always welcome to vent here 🤎 i loved hearing ur views hope ur having a great night (its night for me so im just assuming)

[daycourtofficial]

in honour of disputing the finance bro accusations - here’s the lads and the vibes/majors/jobs i think they’d have.

eris - yes academic!! i really want him to do lit because i do but i agree that history makes more sense for him! he also gives me lawyer vibes (i have several hcs for this pls ask me to elaborate lol)

lucien - communications major, of course. does a lot of ~media~ stuff but i see him doing a bit of whatever he wants. gets really into sculpting at one point. actor, ambassador, art gallery guy?

tamlin - living out his band/bard dreams, got into julliard but wasn’t allowed to go, poster child for gifted kid burnout (was an olympian at one point) (i can’t stop picturing kurt cobain)

cassian - sports science? business? undercover cop?

rhysand - business major. did psychology for a semester. has been known to throw around the name “old sport” unironically. is a finance bro. self made billionaire ceo of his father’s company.

azriel - criminology? brooding art student? *gasp* a spy??

tarquin - did marine biology and philosophy, started some sustainable green technology company with his friends, it’s going great except rhysand really wants to merge.

helion - big producer. a lot of his philanthropic work includes solar panels and energy solutions. wants to “uncleave the wealth divide,” rhysand wants in on what he thinks is an embezzlement scheme.

thesan - is basically who. might cure cancer. wanted to be an ornithologist.

beron - has a hand in every money making cooking jar. judge? senator? rob kardashian of defence lawyers? walt disney??

kallias - greta thunberg who? was a prodigal figure skater turned hockey player. has been protesting the polar ice caps melting from the affected sites for ages. twitter trolls like to tell him that global warming isn’t why his career died.

in retrospect i have no idea what this is but i hope it brings you some amusement lol

Bestie darling this is what ask boxes are FOR. I hollered at Thesan wanting to be an ornithologist. I see lawyer vibes for Eris but PLEASE elaborate more. He just has such academic vibes but maybe I’m biased bc he’d look so hot in a sweater vest. I could see Eris being super into literature.

Rhysand is a finance bro it’s an unfortunate reality but it’s the truth. I DIED at ‘self made billionaire of father’s company’ anon you are so shady and I love you for that. That sentence ALONE told me your stance on the Kardashians and I wholeheartedly agree.

I feel like Az would have multiple random ass degrees - but I definitely think it’d be foreign affairs/criminology/computer science based.

Cassian is definitely a professional athlete who got a degree in Spanish. He retires and becomes a commentator who is very popular.

Tamlin would be living his dream just playing the fiddle

Kallias being a retired figure skater is perfect no notes

Tbh this was perfect please send more or feel free to elaborate

[lunar-years]

I am in 100% agreement on your "unpopular opinion" about Ted and Jamie. The panic attacks made it seem like there is some connection between Ted Witnessing Bad Fathering from James and it making him feel shit about his own dad and also about how he parents Henry, but none of that extends to Ted and Jamie actually having a father/son dynamic or Ted even seeming to like Jamie any more than anyone else. It also doesn't extend to Ted helping Jamie with his father in any way. The best thing Ted did for Jamie was force Roy to connect with him and then he's basically left them to it, handed Jamie off to Roy. There is very little to imply that Ted and Jamie are close. Maybe people WANT them to be closer, want them to hug and spend time together and talk about big things, but the fact is, that isn't actually how they are. Jamie barely feels comfortable speaking to Ted in general let alone Ted being his go-to person. They have no real relationship to speak of beyond the very general coaching one and sometimes the stuff I see people say is... wild to me. Ted has never even hugged Jamie - Ted in fact never hugs any of the players, only the other coaches. I'm told this may be a Midwestern thing, that it's not appropriate for coaches to touch players in the USA, but that's not how it is in English football.

With the Jamie/Jamie paper, I think that Ted and Beard were trying to compliment Jamie. Reward him for being right about Zava or something. Like hey, you're our star, you took all that with good grace. Little treat for you, Jamie. We wanna make you feel a bit special. But even in doing that, what they think is nice, it's a complete and fundamental misread of who he is. They don't see him. And he shouldn't have had to MAKE them see him, with that tactic at the end of 3.07. That was not his job. They should have known the correct way to use their best player in this tactic. But they either thought he wouldn't want to do it, or didn't think he could do it? All of it leads to the coaches still not really getting Jamie.

I mean, I do think there are interesting threads between Jamie & Ted (that I would like to see resolved in s3, the panic attack connection being one of them), and I would argue that Ted did play an imperative role in shifting Jamie's perspectives in s1 and that he later had a massive impact by allowing him to come back to Richmond when Jamie really needed someone to believe that he could be better. So I do think Jamie values & respects Ted and vis versa, I just don't think they have a father/son relationship or really anything beyond coach/player (as you say, I think Ted is far from Jamie's go-to person, and that's perfectly okay!)

I feel a lot of fans are passionate about assigning Jamie a pseudo-father because they know his own dad is such an utter shit, when in my opinion there's not actually a character on the show who fits that role for Jamie. Also...it's not even a role Jamie needs or necessarily even wants filled at this stage in his life? He has a lot of people who care about him and a big and important found family; he doesn't need a father-figure to be a complete or healed person, and I actually think that's a fundamental part of his arc.

Also, my hot take is that the relationship a lot of people want Jamie to have with Ted is the one Nate actually did have with him. It's just that less people care about Nate, so.

All that said, it's also fandom and if people want Ted & Jamie to have a father/son relationship (and clearly a lot of people do) I'm not faulting them for it. Like go & run free with your popular head-canons! (I personally just don't think there's any basis for it in canon.)

As for the Jamie/Jamie paper...I think the most generous read is that the coaches wanted Jamie to look at himself differently and play around with it on his own, with the expectation that he would come to conclusions similar to what he actually did on the show; while the least generous read is that none of the coaches understand who he is in the slightest or how far he's come and just thought he was gonna throw a huge fit if they didn't keep him up front. Probably the reality is something in between (I mean, I assume Roy contributed to coming up with the pairings, and I do think Roy gets Jamie. But I also agree there is a big gap in understanding in how Beard & Ted view him, and they aren't really seeing him right now in a lot of ways.)

I am gonna give Ted a pass on the hugging thing because yeah, I think that can be chalked up to different coaching styles and differing American versus English sports culture. You can take the man out of Kansas but--

[winchester-reload]

Hi! I've been a huge supernatural and destiel fan for many years and also identify as bi and lately I've been wondering why did so many lgbti+ people loved spn and destiel when the show had very little representation and basically did queerbatting. I would love to read your thoughts on that

Anon, I can literally see thousands of posts from over the years, flash by my eyes as you ask me this. All of them, answered by people way more qualified than I. It is, absolutely, the all-consuming question for the ages, and it certainly hasn’t subsided with the conclusion of the show.

My answer? Subtext. And before you get all up-in-arms about subtext not being part of "canon”, I challenge you to name a good story that hasn’t relied on it. I challenge you to name a story that doesn’t have it at all. I actually challenge you to take a moment from your own life that doesn’t require subtext to properly understand.

Subtext is the story that happens in between the words. It is, at its core, a necessary component to any story, but especially a story whose narrator is unreliable: IE: Dean Winchester.

Now, there are gonna be people who jump on this post and point out to be that Sam was the main character of Supernatural, and I’ll tip my hat, and refill my whiskey, and remind them that that was only true for the first few seasons. Dean was quick to take over as the main narrator from there, and I won't get into why because I don’t know for sure. I can only venture a guess. 

But I do know how a story works.

And in Supernatural, the story includes monsters and demons. Angels and wars, but mostly, there is love. Love, and the difficulties associated with it: Both familial and romantic.

This love, it wreaks havoc for Sam.

It wreaks havoc for Dean...

Oh, shit, look at this, it wreaks a helluva lot of havoc for Castiel. So much havoc, in fact, that he ends up fundamentally changing as a character, canonically falling in love with Dean, and saving the entire world because of it. 

Dean, himself, is so utterly consumed by his own love for Cas that they can’t even show Castiel’s character on screen again without outing him.

 “Now, Jackie,” you might say (condescendingly). “Your twisted desiel mind is extrapolating.” 

Maybe, but I just don’t think so. Because, the truth is, Cas cannot be changed as much as he is without Dean being changed too. The reality is, love is built. It does not exist in a vacuum. In order for Cas to get where he is at the point of 15x18 when he sacrificed himself to the knowledge that he’s in love with Dean, it necessarily had to be built off of the give and take he’d experienced from Dean himself. Whatever Cas had, it became stronger with what Dean gave him, and vice versa. Strong enough, that together they were able to save everyone, even if Cas could not, in the end, save himself. 

And you could make the argument that unrequited love exists, and I’ll agree with you wholeheartedly, but Dean and Castiel are a poor example of this. 

The love between them is very much requited throughout the show, illustrated through: Dean’s consuming alcoholism when Cas is dead, carrying the coat around from car to car, the mixtape ffs, I could seriously go on. The argument that it’s not requited is a straw man. If you have any ability to read narrative at all, you can see that they love each other. If what you need for confirmation is akin to an Apple User Agreement, then I’m sorry, you’ve just got a pair of intentional blinders strapped to your face and I have no interest in humoring you.

Just because Dean was never able to voice his truth in the same was Cas was, doesn’t mean it’s not still there in the rune work. If I, anon, identify as bi, am I not still bi even if the people to whom I speak do not know? Do they need to be told in order for it to be true? Or does the truth have intrinsic value?

If not, then I’ll certainly throw down the argument that it’s confirmed through the intentional textual scrubbing of 15x20 and ultimate death of Dean written in lieu of self actualization and catharsis. 

So, I guess my answer would be, it drew lgbtq+ people because it was about lgbtq+ people, even if the showrunners refused to accept it.* 

* Though there’s plenty of evidence that at least some of them were not only aware but also actively pushing for it.

[apocalypticgargoyle]

𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝙍𝙄𝘾𝙆 | 𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙡 𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗𝙨 (18+)

edit by 🐓 anon. im still screaming over this.

∘ request: [insert the 14 asking for more Sapnap humor in a pt. 1.5 of Meet the Jacobses]

∘ pairings: edgy!Karl Jacobs x fm!reader

∘ warnings: smut (18+), nsfw, language, drinking, mentions of Todd the frat boy, lots of dialogue, biting, asphyxiation

∘ links: 𐐪 ao3 𐑂 𐐪 previous part 𐑂 𐐪 submit an edgy!karl edit 𐑂

∘ a/n: this one goes out to the babes in the gc. ily.

i stole the Brick idea from the Jesse McCartney movie, Keith. I'm sorry. [tw for that link - sad & jesse mccartney not talking about beautiful souls]

also thank you everyone for your support on this series. when my friends and I conjured this up, I never thought I would be at the point where I get to share peoples art/paylists/etc. I'm so thankful for all of you.

okay I'll stop crying. happy reading and have a great week! :)

The sun beat down against your skin, your mind drifting to whether or not you should apply more sunscreen. Karl jumped into the light blue water in front of you, the water splashing out to almost completely soak you. You frowned at him as he came up for air, blowing you a kiss mockingly.

Sapnap’s cousins started tackling Karl, the chorus of laughter echoing around the pool. You stretched your legs out beneath the table, leaning into the shade of the umbrella as you watched them roughhouse.

Sapnap came out from the pool house, opening a beer bottle for you before taking the seat beside you. He sighed, buttoning the top of his shirt as he watched the boys. “Did you have a good time at the party yesterday? I dipped after an hour,” he asked, pushing his sunglasses to rest on top of his head.

You shrugged slightly, taking a sip of your drink. You couldn’t wait to tell your roommate how lavishly you’d been living. The fact that you were lounging by a heated pool, drinking beer from Copenhagen with the sons of millionaires was nearly mind-boggling to you.

You wet your lips, squinting your eyes as you looked at him. “I honestly have no idea. I was kind of just there as a Karl accessory,” you joked, making him chuckle softly.

“Yeah, I get that,” he flipped off one of the cousins as they threatened to throw water at him. “It’s always the Karl show around here,” he added. You raised your eyebrows at him and he backtracked. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. He’s a good guy; everyone’s just obsessed with him.”

You nodded slightly. “Yeah, he’s definitely the star baby,” you joked, making him laugh. “I need to ask you…” You bit your lip voice trailing off as you searched for the night words.

He sent you a closed-mouth smile. “About my mom and Karl?” He asked, biting back a blithe expression. It shocked you how calm he was about the situation.

You chuckled nervously. “I swear I won’t bring it up again, I’m just,” you cut yourself off, unable to describe the question marks pulsing through your thoughts.

He snorted, taking a sip of his drink. “I know right,” he reassured. “When I found out, I almost broke Karl’s nose,” he chided. “Not that I was like… angry it was my mom but out of how weird it was.”

“Yeah it is really fucking weird,” you agreed, laughing slightly.

He gestured as if to thank you for understanding. “I mean, Karl’s a great guy. He was my best friend for a long time but…” He made a face suggesting his discomfort and you snicked. “That’s my mom, man.” You giggled wholeheartedly at this, making him laugh too.

“What are you guys talking about?” Karl asked, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, dripping wet from his pool time adventures.

“Speak of the Devil and he shall appear,” you joked, making Sapnap wink at you. “Tacitus’ Annals,” you answered, making Sapnap nod at you.

He chewed on his lip, with a calm expression as he supported your lie. “I was telling your girlfriend how much I enjoyed his love of Nero,” he continued, you bit back a smile.

Karl ruffled his hair out in a towel. “Come on now,” he grumbled, calling the two of you on your bullshit.

Sapnap squinted as he looked up at him. “Karl supremacy. As always,” he answered with a touch of quiet sarcasm, making Karl roll his eyes playfully as he took to the other seat beside you.

Karl ran his fingers into his hair. “You wanna get matching tattoos together, Sapnap?” He quipped; Sapnap sending him a smug expression.

“Why? What were you thinking?” He asked, knowing he was walking into whatever Karl was setting up.

Karl pulled the leg of his swim trunks off his leg a bit, furrowing his brows. “I wanna get your mom’s name on the top of my thigh,” he teased, biting his lip. You rolled your eyes playfully.

Sapnap let out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh my God, that’s so funny. I totally didn’t see that coming.”

Karl took a sip of your beer and you spoke up. “I think you’d look good with a tattoo, Sapnap. All jokes aside, you’ve got a great body,” you mused, sending him a wink. Sapnap bit back a smile looking at Karl, who you could already tell was glaring back at him. “Side note, I was meaning to ask you. There’s a guy that’s in Karl’s frat,” you paused, trying to remember what Karl had said Todd’s real name was when you were pinning his auction number on him.

Sapnap raised his eyebrows. “Oh, Mark?”

You pointed at him. “Yes, the fake Romney.”

Sapnap snorted. “He did that on campus too?” Karl nodded, a look of disappointment spreading across their faces.

“Speaking of Todd Mark, the king of the Brick” Karl kicked his feet beneath your chair before continuing, “I heard there’s a bonfire tonight,” he probed, making Sapnap slowly shake his head in disapproval.

You raised an eyebrow at the two. “What’s the Brick?”

Sapnap seemed to have already made up his mind on the situation. “A fucking cesspool,” Sapnap grumbled, sipping from his bottle as Karl tsked. Sapnap tilted his head. “You really wanna take her to the Brick? People get together and smoke crack over there. The fact that,” he paused to furrow his brows at you slightly, “Todd Mark? is the benefactor should say something,” he stated, lips curling into an uneasy expression.

You peered over your shoulder at Karl as if to ask if he were crazy. Karl swatted off your gesture. “They don’t smoke crack this time of year. All the locals are back visiting for break.”

Sapnap shook his head again in unease. You chewed your lip, leaning back in your chair. “I don’t know… Sapnap, do you wanna have a movie night instead?” You joked, making Karl sigh behind you.

Sapnap mimicked your mock severity. “Yeah, a stay in and cuddle?”

“Of course,” you repeated.

Karl wheezed. “No, we’re going.”

Without missing a beat, Sapnap chimed back. “Maybe you can take my mom instead?” Karl’s expression flattened at his words and you nodded, high fiving Sapnap in mock victory.

Despite Sapnap’s hesitation, you all went to what they referred to as The Brick. In reality, it was a spot on the edge of a lake. They only called it the Brick because of Todd’s dad, a racecar driver who claimed the post back when he was in high school and later bought it. A large bonfire burned in the center of the space, various people around your age and a bit younger were either dancing to the music coming from one of the souped-up sports cars or shotgunning beers. You pushed away the thought of your stingy fire marshall back home who―more than once―had reported you and your family for “overactive cookouts.”

“Overactive,” meaning your dad and Clay were failing at not catching hotdogs on fire when the two would get lost in a chat about a mutual videogame when the families would cross the fence line in the summer.

As soon as you had stepped foot on the gravel, Karl was welcomed back like some kind of celebrity, so you stayed close to Sapnap. He would lean towards your height, pointing people out that Karl had mentioned in the past or those worth noting. You nodded along, soaking in what he had to tell you and laughing at his jokes.

A random guy strolled past the two of you, making Sapnap purse his lips. “Hey, Sapnap. How’s your mom?” One of the countless jokes thrown at him since you’d arrived.

He tilted his head with a mock look of questioning. “Didn’t your parents just get divorced, Jeff?” He deflected. Jeff’s face dropped slightly as he moved on. You always found yourself struggling not to laugh at how well Sapnap was at counteracting the jabs at his mom and Karl. Most of you felt guilty for how long he had dealt with it.

Karl watched you carefully as you sat down beside Sapnap on one of the vast benches; hands shoved in his pockets as the group around him caught up. You were glad to have someone around like Sapnap, despite the fact that you often went to parties. In the past, it was more of a bi-annual thing, but since being with Karl, you found yourself shoulder to shoulder with nameless people in a line doing shots every other Thursday.

You laughed as Sapnap joked about avoiding the drinks at the Brick because of the mites in the water and the STDs in the beer. “So, I never asked how you met Karl?” He queried, sticking his hands into the pocket of his Baja hoodie.

You smiled slightly. “Uh…” Shameless thoughts of you on your knees in a random building when you barely knew his name paced through your head like a quickfire of serotonin. “We had a lecture together and he liked my handwriting.” Sapnap smirked, chuckling slightly at your words.

Karl’s eyes were trained on the two of you, demeanor shifting each time one of you leaned towards the other to hear over the music or the two of you bumping each other’s arms to grab your attention. You knew he wasn’t jealous, but his look of curiosity was almost hilarious to you. Sapnap stuck by your side while Karl introduced you to his friends. He was basically your encyclopedia on the newer people as Karl would go off on a tangent with them.

The fact that Karl was so close to all of them and was so popular made your heart swell with pride. You were used to Karl’s deadpanned glares at most of his frat brothers and his snide comments, but now he was welcomed back like he was some kind of hero returning from the war.

After saying goodbye to Sapnap for the day, you threaded your fingers with Karl’s, enjoying the time where it was just the two of you. He brought the back of your hand to his lips, smoothing a kiss against your skin. “So… Sapnap’s mom…” you began, making him chew the inside of his cheek. “Where… did it happen?”

He looked down at you with a perked eyebrow before raising his sights forward, pulling you off the street where the two of you were walking. You followed him as the pair of you snuck through between the houses and across the backyards until the two of you were at Sapnap’s house again. Through the front windows, you could see him talking to his sibling in the kitchen.

Karl grabbed your hand, leading you along the side of the estate and toward the pool house. You wanted to groan at the thought before he pulled you through the door with him. “Are you serious?” You hissed, looking around at the dark place. Karl fought not to smirk as he peered out through one of the windows, watching the lights in Sapnap’s house turn out.

The moonlight streamed through one of the slender windows, illuminating his face and washing his features clean. Your gaze trailed along his arms; his tattoos peeking out from beneath his hoodie as he reached up to lock the door.

He turned back to face you, walking closer to you. “Did you have fun today?” He asked, plopping down on one of the couches and pulling you into his lap. He moved your arms to rest around his neck, pressing his lips to your skin. “I feel like I didn’t see you at all. Sapnap’s a bogart,” he muttered jokingly, settling his hands on your hips.

You scoffed before leaning toward him, pressing your lips against his. “Make it up to me,” you murmured, raking your fingers into his hair. “I think I selfishly need you to ruin me here; you know. Like a cleansing of you and Ms. Scarlet,” you chided.

He bit his lip, eyes pulsing with lust as he fought not to grin. You pressed your lips against his, turning to lay back on the couch and yank him on top of you. He chuckled into your kiss, as your hands moved to curl into his hair. His lust was a taste you could get drunk off if given the chance as his hands traveled the length of your body, moaning as you ground your hips against his, gripping into his clothes.

He leaned off of you momentarily to pull his shirt over his head as you slipped out of yours, you wrapped a leg around him, pushing him onto the couch instead and pinning him between your thighs as you straddled him, running your hands up his tattooed chest and connecting your lips again.

One of his large hands covered your breast as you began to grind your hips against his. His teeth grazed against your skin as he caressed your body while you moved against him, trying to create as much friction as you could against his jeans. He ran his fingers along the hem of your underwear, his lips curling into a smirk as he moved slightly to get a better look. "These are nice. Did you plan this?" He leered, snapping the elastic against your hip playfully. You rolled your eyes, pulling his chin towards you and pressing your lips against his. Every movement of his body seemed to lick at the fire deep within you.

You smirked breathlessly as his lips settled against your collarbones. “These are my church clothes. I had no other motive,” you jousted. His hand reached up to rest against your collarbone, his fingers lightly curling around your neck.

“Of course, how could I not realize,” he jabbed, pressing his lips and tongue against your neck. You moaned, tugging at his zipper before wrapping your hand around his cock, pumping him into harder arousal. He groaned against your neck, bucking into your hand lightly. His head tilted back against the couch beneath you, cheeks flushed at the attention. His teeth nipped at your skin as you ground yourself against his thigh, basking in his noises of pleasure.

His cock pulsed in your hand, making him grab your wrist and pull you beneath him. He gripped one of your legs, resting it in the crook of his elbow as he pushed himself into you, connecting your lips to swallow your moans. The feeling of him inside of you sent a wave of pleasure through your body. His voice was low in your ear, murmuring your name as if it were a curse. You moaned as he took one of your hands, lacing your fingers together beside your head as he kissed you again, tongue slipping into your mouth.

His thrusts became more rhythmless, his hold on you driving him deeper as the pool house filled with the noises of your whimpering moans. Karl’s breath was warm on your neck as he took advantage of your submissive state. He moved his hand from around your leg, wrapping his fingers around your neck again. Your body shivered, waiting for the pressure of his hand as his hips rocked against yours.

He chuckled darkly, teeth grazing against your shoulder before his lips hovered beside your ear. “Beg for it,” he commented, voice strained as he thrusted into you.

You swallowed, fingers digging into his back. “Choke me,” you groaned, “please.” His hand tightened around your neck, breath hitching in your throat as his thrusts became rougher. He bit back a smug grin at the way you reacted to his antics, relishing in your body beginning for more.

He relaxed his hand, pressing his lips to yours as you struggled to inhale. Heat ran through your body as your leg curled around his waist, nails raking down his back.

You leaned away from his lips, voice coming out unevenly as you moaned his name. His movements became sloppier as you groaned in bliss, tugging the flesh of his bottom lip between your teeth. You tipped your head back slightly as you reached your climax, riding out your pleasure and sending him over the edge as he pulled you closer to him, his hands digging into your hips as he encouraged you to continue grinding against him. You exhaled deeply, pressing your lips against his neck and his cheek before kissing him breathlessly as your movements slowed.

You pulled on your shirt, Karl’s hands moving to rest on your hips as he pressed a kiss to your neck. “Should we leave a note for Ms. Scarlet?” You joked, making him chuckle as his arms wrapped further around your waist, cheek pressing against your shoulder.

“Who?” He teased.

Tag List: (to be added, follow this link :))

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[codeform]

I just saw your posts about gender for that Clu person, and based on their responses, I think this is someone who is dealing with a lot of uncertainty and they were hoping for a certain answer for their question. Maybe not a permanent one, but a springboard or starting point. They are probably looking for a starting point that's a little more specific than 'whatever u want' because I think they might've said (or suggested) they aren't sure what they want.

Your answers are correct, of course, but speaking from personal experience on other topics, it can be frustrating asking for a simple yet specific answer (in this case, that would be an answer like 'cis male' or 'transfem') and getting only broad generalities. Might I suggest supplying them with some terms that seem to be a pretty close fit to what they described? You wouldn't be labeling them, you'd just be giving them some things to Google so they can see if it fits them. A place to start their gender identity journey from (because some people do feel more secure when they have that 'label' and this person might be one of those. And that's completely okay if they need that.)

Hope this helps you and them!

i Absolutely agree w u anon! but (and i am speaking as sm1 whose early exploration was almost entirely based off of discussions w highschool friends— all 2nd hand information. which is its own can of worms hsdfjkjs) i do think its important to like. do that initial footwork yourself?

bc (n im glad u agree!) there is just no neat answer!! esp not w nonbinary genders!! I (a man who has a very weird gender itself) am still constantly learning!! and i did edit one of my rbs but idk if Hal saw, but i think a very good place to start is less "what is upsetting me abt my gender" but rather "what is making me happy" — this is just generally a less painful jumping-off point too, bc its usually easier to work through when you're confused (its a lot to unpack upset/pain/confusion at the SAME TIME!!! not fun)

i will stick by honestly wikipedia as a genuinely useful surface level resource. install shinigami eyes so u dont wind up on transphobic sites and it has a solid rundown of both your "basic" terms and the history of the community, especially bc it is very hard if impossible to get an answer when youre asking sm1 else "heres what i feel now what am i." skhsdhf

and no hate!!! genuinely!!! thats a very easy place to wind up in, where u just WANT a clear-cut answer from sm1 else, but like i said b4: nobody knows you better than YOU!! i think theres like. this idea that we all just Knew and the truth is no, i promise we did not. we have all googled "nonbinary definition" "demigender definition" "neopronouns definition" i went thru 2 whole entire genders b4 i settled on Man and MORE AFTER THAT before settling on Man But Weird

AND ALSO. i am open to questions!!!!!!! but i am A WEIRD DUDE W AUTISM AND I AM NOT BUILT FOR MAKING SENSE!!!!! i promise i AM trying!!! and will continue to try!!! but it is abt to be June and pride is this month and wholeheartedly go to your local pride events if you are confused!!!!!! take to queer ppl who are both prepared to answer questions AND can provide much more relevant, local(!!!) resources — and talk to queer elders!!!! meet the coolest people in the world forever!!!!

but yea to circle back 2 th point i was like. Trying to make. doing that initial footwork yrself is the easiest i think bc you know you. i promise even tho it seems daunting it WILL ultimately be less confusing than trying 2 play 2nd hand telephone even if yr playing w friends (like i did. not ideal — wasnt safe for me to research myself but still Not Ideal)

[lit-in-thy-heart]

The way Taylor Swift’s “enchanted” really brings out the in the beginning Merwaine feels

This is me praying that this was the very first page/Not where the story line ends/My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again/These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon/I was enchanted to meet you/Please don't be in love with someone else

Like???? Merlin wanting Gwaine to STAY in Camelot, praying that this isn’t going to be goodbye for them, how only a few months later he tracks down Gwaine, and like. Yes it was to help Arthur but. If Merlin truly forgot Gwaine during these months, he wouldn’t have even considered him, especially since there was a time limit, given the evil magical bracelet, and Merlin must have been worried, but no he decided, I miss Gwaine this is perfect opportunity. And he knew him enough to know the direction he was going- Gwaine said Mercia but he also said he was kidding, so did Merlin write letters to Gwaine? How did he know? I know he went through various taverns to find him, and that in itself is huge.

And Gwaine! He was leaving Camelot, and not out of choice- his thoughts have also echoed Merlin’s name- enough to recognize him in the midst of a brawl at a tavern, to be thrilled, that oh! It’s Merlin!!!

Basically. The Taylor Swift/Merwaine parallels are very strong. Nearly every song has me sobbing. I’m not ready to think of a “Back to December” post-Camlann au where Gwaine survived, and Merlin finally realized the “I hope you find what you’re looking for” was Gwaine’s “I love you.” And realizing he didn’t respond, didn’t give Gwaine the answer he was hoping for. And trying to fix it, because you know Gwaine thinks he’s been rejected or worse- it just never crossed Merlin’s mind bc he doesn’t matter in that way to Merlin, never has- and so wouldn’t confess again

anon first off i am so sorry this has been in my inbox for...months i just haven't had much time to scream about merwaine but

whilst 'enchanted' usually screams mercelot for me i cannot deny that you make some very compelling points...

these are the words i held back

yes because gwaine rarely reveals his feelings, rarely reveals just how much people mean to him, and never explicitly and to their faces because that is one sure way to get abandoned and he will save himself a world of pain by having the slightly smaller pain of never saying his true feelings.

and the tragic part is that merlin is in love with lancelot and even if the three of them end up together there will always be a part of gwaine who doesn't feel like he can ever measure up to lance especially once lance is dead but we are not going down that whole spiral tonight

it's also the fact that gwaine was so trusted by merlin in the eye of the phoenix. perhaps not about the magic but i wonder if it would have taken just as long to track down lancelot (who we know merlin must have been in contact with, given the s3 finale) and merlin made a conscious choice there to enlist gwaine's help. maybe it was because gwaine wouldn't ask lots of questions, or maybe it was because merlin missed him (it was absolutely because merlin missed him i agree wholeheartedly with you anon)

HIS THOUGHTS HAVE ALSO ECHOED MERLIN'S NAME ANON I'M YELLING

honestly i love that scene so much it is just the unbridled joy in both of their faces and yes merlin darting to that many taverns and i wonder how many people he mistook for gwaine in his desperate hope and then when he does finally see him...

i know @donttouchtheneednoggle has a post where they assign songs from folklore to merwaine and i haven't been able to find it but you will sob over it if i do because taylor swift fits merwaine and their tragedy so well

and 'back to december' works so well for a post-camlann au (also because the s5 finale aired in december) and i will forever be screaming over gwaine's 'i hope you find what you're looking for' and i have spiralled over that in my gif thoughts series but that outcome links back to their first episode and how gwaine didn't put himself out there and the thing he feared actually happened however many years later and--

yes gwaine would rather die than say that again (or be dying, not that i'm talking about one of my own fics at all there) and the most likely outcome is that the opportunity is missed and they both end up absolutely miserable (:

great work anon, you've made me sad <3

in all seriousness though, it is really interesting to look at the parallels between merlin and gwaine; merlin is forced to stay in camelot because of destiny and arthur and is told that is his duty. gwaine is forced to leave camelot because of uther and neither of them really have a say in their own lives yet they find each other again -- not just once, but twice -- and it's heartbreaking that when they both finally get what they want (to be in the same place as each other) they slip further and further out of the other's reach.

they may have been enchanted to meet each other but, in the end, the spell is broken.

[llendrinall]

Anons asking about drarry kids but what about Percy/Oliver kids 🥺 THEY WOULD BE GREAT DADS

We have seen some glimpses of them as Dads here and here although that was a very specific scenario.

I will just skip the details on how they become parents. I don’t think there would be much difference whether it’s adoption or some magical device. (For them. Molly would be something else).

The wizarding world seems to put a lot of pressure in guaranteeing the continuity of line and producing babies as soon as possible, even in liberal families. Weird, considering the live long lives, but that’s my impression. In this context, I imagine Percy and Oliver become parents relatively late. Well in their thirties at the very least, which isn’t that old, but it is a full decade later for what seems to be the norm in wizarding society. It would also be when they are both secure in their professional careers and in their relationship.

They wouldn’t have many kids because Percy is well aware of the effects of having a big family. Sure, he loves all of his siblings, loves his family, there is something special in never being alone in the house and always having someone around… but look at him. And look at Ron. Do they seem well adjusted to you? No. And if they seem well adjusted, you are not looking closely enough. Percy has trauma, all right? And he won’t have any of his kids suffer the experience of being the lost middle child. He will have one, two at most. Oliver is an only child so he defers all sibling relations to Percy.

The kid would go to a primary muggle school, because Oliver went to one and Oliver got an O in Arithmancy even though he never worked on the subject for more than 20 minutes. (“It’s just basic logic relations and proportions, Perce.” “No, it’s not. It’s the one subject everyone struggles with. Bill had to pay a tutor.”) If Harry also has children I imagine Percy would latch on the idea of not sending them to Hogwarts, to everybody’s surprise except Oliver’s.

The things is, Percy didn’t like going to Hogwarts. He liked Oliver, he liked that he could eat as many eggs and meat as he wanted, but he didn’t enjoy the experience. He had the pressure of being a Weasley (with the expectations it carried regarding grades) and of being poor and people noticing he was poor (Malfoy wasn’t the only prat pointing and laughing. This is England we are talking about). Doing well in school isn’t synonymous with liking school. Percy excelled in it, but he didn’t like it. It’s not that in retrospect Percy realizes those weren’t happy years, it’s that he didn’t like it back then. He took whatever little joy he could in earning academic achievements and that was it.

Besides, Percy is pretty sure that with summer school and some spell work at home, his child will be able to pass the OWLs without attending Hogwarts. Oliver is not so sure, which is rich because he passed all of his OWLS and Percy never saw him open a book.

“That’s not true! You saw me study. And you got much better grades than me.”

“I saw you asking me what the chapter was about in between Quidditch sessions. You did not study and you passed all subjects, you infuriating loon.”

Percy is right, of course. Muggle schools are just better. Even the bad ones are better. In muggle schools you are taught how to succeed in school and how to learn. There is no reason to stop at eleven.

(And indeed, their kid is freakily good in Arithmancy and Ancient Runes).

Other than that, Oliver is the strict parent. Percy is the academic oriented parent. There is no chill parent because parents are supposed to give you structure and offer safety. They are not your friends.

They are both equally good with domestic tasks because Percy was involved in raising his younger siblings and Oliver is an un-spoiled only child which means being quite independent. Oliver wants the child to practice sports. Percy wants them to learn a language. They settle with taking music lessons, because that’s what the kid wants.

The child grow up normal (which is such a gift in itself). They are happy and they are allowed to become whatever they want. Not a copy of their parents but their own selves. At the NEWT levels, they get the highest recorded grade in Arithmancy and then pick up a career that has little to nothing to do with it. You don’t have to do something just because you are good at it.

(Harry wholeheartedly agrees).

[thahiree]

I think that if Tony hadn’t died in EG, he would have definitely been relegated to a mentorship/supporting role. Similar to how he is to a lot of new heroes in the comics (Riri, Kamala, Miles, etc but also with Peter and any new hero would be adopted lol) and would rarely, if ever, fight again and would also at least attempt to stay out of the limelight. He’d probably step in to throw his weight around politically/PR wise if anything happened to the kid heroes, but his days of being the centre of the superhero world would have been over (lol as if MCU would let him but as a character yes he was “complete”/at peace).

And I totally agree that the turning point for the MCU Tony is having a kid. I think basically the retirement point for any active combat Tonys would be when he has a kid/kids. I also think most Tonys want kids more then anything deep down. I ALSO think most Tonys will never let themselves have kids because 1. he’s worried he’d hurt them like he was hurt as a kid 2. Their safety with his enemies and 3. He doesn’t feel like he deserves to be happy so why should he get the thing he wants most???

But MCU Tony imho kinda took CW as a sign to spitefully move on and be happy, if that makes sense? Even before The Snap he was realizing he wanted kids. He’s the Tony the said fuck it, I want to be happy and I love that for him. (and paradoxically the team not backing him kinda gives him freedom to not feel the need to sacrifice his happiness for them anymore either, plus it gives him the space to bond with Peter and I think that was key to him figuring out he wanted kids)

Relegating Tony to a mentorship role??? Not on my watch!!

Afsgfgshsh no I totally get you, anon!! I agree with you that he would've stepped down AND I believe he would've done so gladly? (unlike Steve whose choice to step down I NEVER bought but.....let's not go there😶). But yeah, I wholeheartedly believe Tony would've been happy stepping back and being a dad more than anything else! Like I'm not sure he would stop for a romantic partner (see destroying the suits for Pepper, only then to continue with it anyway) but he sure as hell would for Morgan and everyone else he deems his child lol

(and paradoxically the team not backing him kinda gives him freedom to not feel the need to sacrifice his happiness for them anymore either -> I LOVE this, agreed 100%

also, yes to your comment about all Tonys wanting kids more than anything and being terrified of it!!! 😭

Is it just me or is Tony a DAD, like that's just who he is?? Like I don't necessarily see him as a long term boyfriend/husband to anyone, but I DO see him as a father??? 😂

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hi Ralph! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Harry, and the way he interacts with the world. There was the guardian interview and his weird statement about dilution (which I agree with your thoughts on so I won’t harp on about here). In the vein of weird interview comments Harry has made in interviews, one I also think about a lot came out in 2017-ish after Miley Cyrus came out. I can’t remember the exact quote, but I do remember the interviewer asked him, basically, what he thought of Miley’s coming out, and if he felt like he as a person in the public eye had any duty to publicly declare his sexuality too, knowing what it would mean to a lot of his fans who are struggling with their own sexualities, and Harry said “I think that’s a weird thing to expect of someone else, and everyone should just be who they want to be.” I don’t necessarily disagree with the content of his comment - you don’t owe anything to anybody when it comes to your sexuality - but I feel a little weird about the message behind the comment which I took to be “just let me sing and make music and stop asking me for anything else.” I think a large part of the reason I extrapolated that from his comment (and I do realize I was reading into it) has been his general reluctance over the years to get involved with any sort of political movement. The only two real exception I can think of are (1) LGBTQ rights kind of, although to be honest some of this seems performative to me, and (2) his weird and sort of short lived foray into BLM with the march he joined and his Instagram post. That, combined with his decision to move forward with his tour and the general outrage and feeling that Harry is “disconnected” from his fans, that he is “money hungry” that he is “using his fans” etc. has had me thinking. I disagree with the discourse vilifying Harry for his tour decision, and I think a lot of it is that people are angry and scared and frustrated (for valid reasons) but they are equating their rightful feelings of frustration with the situation to mean Harry failed them on a personal level, which I don’t think is true or fair. But I do think Harry is a celebrity who seems generally out of touch with what the rest of the world goes through, and worse he doesn’t actually seem to care. I feel like he withdrew so much after 1D days, and in general I do applaud that decision - I imagine he was dealing with a lot of trauma, and a retreat to as much of a private life as he could manage was probably well called for to protect his mental health. But his withdrawal has continued, and we only really see him when he has something to promote. We don’t get anything at all from him expect his music and now his movies. I don’t want this to come across as me yelling “Harry tell me about your personal life!!!” Because it’s not. I believe he should have complete privacy in that realm, if that’s what he wants. But to me, Harry cutting so much of himself off from the world has made him feel incredibly shallow and disconnected from his fan base, except when he has something to sell. And I do wholeheartedly think when you’re in the position of massive privilege that Harry is, you have a duty to be a well educated, well informed, active participant in your communities, and to throw your weight around for good. On the one hand, I do want to give him the benefit of the doubt. He came into this life he has now at 16, after leading a childhood that seemed to be fairly untouched by any real hardships. He has lived a life that is largely insulated from the way the rest of the world lives. On the other hand, he has the ability to educate himself, and not having those lived experiences personally doesn’t, I think, excuse him from learning about them and working to help who and where he can. I don’t think I really have a question here, I guess I’m just interested in your thoughts. I value your input, and your answers always push me to think about things in ways I hadn’t before. This has been taking up a lot of my mental space, and I’m curious if you’ve thought about it any.

Oh anon - there's a lot here and I'll try to untangle some of my reactions.

First of all - leaving outside the politics of all of this - I think there is part of Harry, both artistically and how he presents himself as a celebrity, which is very good at suggesting things, and leaving space for possibilities. And I think, at least at this stage, there isn't necessarily a solid core in there if you push. And that's OK, it has a lot of value artistically - blank space is pretty core to any design. But by the same token, it's OK if you want more. If you're dissatisfied with Harry you don't need to be fair for him - you can just think 'I want something you're not offering at the moment'.

But obviously I'm me so I can't leave the politics aside for long. I want to start with the interview - because context is important - that interview was Dan Wotton and the fucking Sun. Here is what was printed, which I think is a little different from what you remembered:

I ask Harry about sexuality in pop, a topic in the headlines after MILEY CYRUS spoke openly about her pansexuality. What’s his take?

He says: “Being in a creative field, it’s important to be ­progressive. People doing stuff like that is great.

“It’s weird for me — everyone should just be who they want to be. It’s tough to justify somebody having to answer to someone else about stuff like that.”

So has Harry personally labelled his sexuality?

He replies: “No, I’ve never felt the need to really. No.”

Would he like to elaborate? “I don’t feel like it’s something I’ve ever felt like I have to explain about myself.”

I want to be clear that everything Dan Wotton was doing here was wrong, from existing to obviously trying to push Harry out. And while Harry was also wrong to be doing an interview with the Sun, he did a really good job of not saying anything he didn't want to say in difficult circumstances.

I want to make it absolutely clear that I'm with Harry. It is tough to justify somebody having to answer to other people about their sexuality. I mean particularly when that person is Dan Wotton working for the fucking Sun.

But in general I don't think there's anything wrong with Harry saying implicitly and explicitly 'Just let me sing and don't ask me for anything else'. More than that I reject the whole premise. In the questions you imagined Dan Wotton asking, you set up the idea that the only way a queer artists could speak to queer fans is by coming out. And I think it's important to push back at that at every opportunity. I've said it before, but that I identify more with Louis reciting the women he's pretending to be attracted to by rote, much more than I ever have with anyone waving a rainbow flag. I reject every part of the premise of 'you coming out would mean a lot to people and somehow that is your problem'.

Throughout what you've written me, you emphasise a belief that celebrities should be active politically - and I really want to push back and ask why? What good does that expectation do you or the world? I think the last thing this world needs is more commentary from people with large microphones and without knowledge or a perspective. The world isn't made better if celebrities feel oblige to talk about politics. And your experience

You seem to think of politics like charity - as something you do for other people out of a sense of obligation. I would argue that very little useful politics has ever been done under that model. Instead I would argue a model of politics based on solidarity: 'If you have come here to help me you are wasting your time, but if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.' (Aboriginal Activist, 1970s).

I think this is what makes the English football team so powerful. Marcus Rashford is fighting for school lunches, because he knows what it's like to be hungry. They're taking the knee, because they have experienced racism, or are expressing solidarity with teammates who have experienced racism. I think Jordan Henderson believes that his world and life would be better if queer fans could be themselves at a football match.

Harry has said in so many ways that he hasn't figured out to relate politically, and he doesn't have anything more to say. That might change, but in the meantime, believe him.

Last off I want to point that you seem to be drawing a parallel between him being disconnected with his fans and not interacting politically and I don't think there is any connection at all. You said:

But to me, Harry cutting so much of himself off from the world has made him feel incredibly shallow and disconnected from his fan base, except when he has something to sell. And I do wholeheartedly think when you’re in the position of massive privilege that Harry is, you have a duty to be a well educated, well informed, active participant in your communities, and to throw your weight around for good.

There is no connection between these two points - none. I also don't think there's anything wrong with being cut off from your fan base, or silent on politics. But they're also independent (I mean look at Shawn Mendes at the period of his career when he wouldn't turn anyone down a selfie. He wasn't at all active in politics then).

I don't think there's anything wrong with valuing an artist being out, politically active, or connected with their fan base. But there are plenty of artists who are out (Lil Nas X, Olly Alexander, and I'll give a shout out to Grace Petrie) and there are plenty of artists who are politically active (Jade Thirwell, Dua Lipa, Stormzy). I'm sure there are also lots of artists who connect with their fan base (although I don't track that personally). If that's what you want, find artists that meet those needs. Rather than choosing an artists who offers something else entirely and having expectations they will never meet.

[rayofsunas]

ADDING ONTO THAT ANON WHO WAS TALKING ABT YOUR BALLET FRIEND,,, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE THAT YOU SHOULD IMPLEMENT YOUR FRIEND IN A STORY!!! and i just was just thinking abt your friend’s battle suit since we talked abt her battle play style! i was stalking her acc (i’m sorry if that sounds creepy but she’s so funny 😂miiiwaa if you see this ily)

and her cheerful personality reminds me of kasumi from the game persona 5 and i’m taking inspo from that since that other anon was talking abt dual wielding swords and it just reminded me of kasumi since she’s a rhythmic gymnast! they’re both two different sports but i do know that you need dancing experience for being a rhythmic gymnast! you can also look up kasumi’s outfit and it’s basically a black leotard and she wears this super cool petticoat which i thought would fit the fontaine theme since it sounds so FANCY!! and the thigh high boots kasumi wears have these heels that look like pointe shoes! I’M ALSO SO INVESTED IN THIS,, I HAVE MORE OUTFIT IDEAS AND I HOPE IT’S OKAY TO SEND SO MORE!! (it also just occurred to me that if miiiwaa is a ballerina... she must be SUPER FLEXIBLE😱 imagine the cool battles she’ll have if she’s dancing while using a sword and flipping around everywhere)

IM SUPER LATE WOAH. BUT YES I LOVE HER SM, SHES SO TALENTED. she’s so badass, I admire her a lot for a lot of different reasons, but one, ballet sounds difficult! and she’s really doing that!! AND THOSE BALLET SHOES!?! WAHHH STEP ON ME KAYLA. she’d have super cool and unique battle moves I know it for sure.

[kilibaggins]

I like Murven because they balance each other out. Raven brings purpose, stability and respect to Murphy. Murphy brings humor, support and faith to Raven. Across the board for Murphy ships, I think Murven is the most positively developed. They had an entire arc dedicated to Murphy making amends, which Raven wholeheartedly accepted, and since then they haven’t had any backtracking. They’ve had minor arguments in times of stress that are quickly resolved. To use some popular Murphy ships as an example: Memori, Murphamy or Clurphy I can’t say the same about. I feel like they have all had times where they’ve treated Murphy with little to no respect in the later seasons. Either belittling him or just treating him like a child. Raven was basically the only one to talk to him with respect about the Minddrives thing in S6. Then you have how often Murphy makes Raven smile, and believes in her, and puts his life on the line for her. You can say that it could be platonic, and that’s totally valid. I just think why wouldn’t you want to date the person who treats you the best? I do think that they naturally have amazing chemistry and I could see it at many moments in the show, especially S5.

They just have a ying and yang that I really enjoy. Unlike what S7 likes to say, they’ve both been very morally grey people. When Raven didn’t want to give the medicine to Adria in S4, Murphy was there to steer her back to humanity and see where she was wrong. When Murphy wanted to use the Minddrive to get immortality, Raven was there to comfort him and give him tough love. They just understand each other so well, and know when the other needs help.

I also just don’t think it’s fair so many people have to discredit it all the time. It’s not canon and there are hardly any shippers. We aren’t hurting anyone. If you can look at a ship like Clurphy or Remori and think of it as romantic, why not Murven?

I’m sorry for the long ask /gen

No no because all of this makes SO much sense?

(random but this ask did make me squeal because that's so cute)

You have such a HUGE point?? It does make a lot of sense.

They've went through so much development without really... Turning back.

Murphamy had development, but then it went sour again in s6, memori had development but had a few sour patches, etc.

Murven pretty much stayed stable after the scene in beccas lab.

DANG IT ANON MAKING NE SHIP MURVEN IS NOT OKAY /lh

my friends will be upset about this /hj

season 5 WAS a great season for them. I feel like season 7 pushed the "siblings" aspect more and that's why some people think of it that way, especially with the whole "so did you" scene and stuff. I feel like that was very much written in a "they're siblings!" Type of way

but we ignore the rest of season 7 most of the time let's ignore that too /gen

Also yeah, s7 was really weird with the morals stuff. raven has been morally grey when she felt the need to be before.

I totally agree that people are way too negative about it. I've always been confused on why people get so ANGRY over the very idea of it...?

Also yeah, that's a good point too. I ship things with WAY less substance (literally minor ships that have characters that never interacted!!) Why not murven too?

Anon making me a Murven Shipper how DARE you /lh

It's okay! I'm sorry for my always long replies to your asks KAHSKSHAK

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

Your posts are always interesting, this could sound weird but, what do you think about the sexual orientations in 19 days? I know it is shonen ai but in this kind of comic is usually characters are just in love with someone but no anyone else. But with zhanyi it has being shown at least that Zhan had problems thinking about it, what do you think about tianshan's as well? I am not into Lgbt knowledge, so i'm lost about it

Good afternoon, dear anon-san! <(_ _)>

I’m sorry it took me a couple of days to get to your question. Thank you for your patience!

I’ve talked about my takes on the sexual orientations a couple of times by now:

Why didn’t HT want MGS to like him more and more?

Homophobia in 19 Days

Could HT be bisexual?

Could ZZX be quoiromantic?

Was ZZX a heterosexual prior to JY’s confession?

Zhanyi and emotional manipulation?

Was MGS HT’s first kiss?

My Tianshan “timeline”

I suggest you check out those previous answers to get a better sense of where I’m coming from. I’m probably going to repeat some of the things in this answer but not as comprehensively.

Also, before I get further into this, I realize this is a rather controversial topic in the fandom. However, I want people reading this to know that I am most certainly not against discussing how readers interpret the characters from this perspective. I know some people just genuinely don’t care one way or another - which is perfectly fine - but to me, it sometimes feels like “who cares” is used to shut people up. I don’t see why the aspect of sexual orientations can’t be discussed just like any other part of the story. Especially since I feel like it’s one of the major themes of 19 Days. And sexual orientations in fiction can be important peaks of representation and connection to many readers, so I do understand why people might want to talk about them.

In all fairness, though, I also understand why people might be annoyed by this discussion. Other’s interpretations can feel forceful to us, especially if they greatly differ from ours. Or it might irritate us if we feel like people are focusing on trivial things. I get it. I’m sometimes “guilty” of those feelings, too - I’m not trying to make it sound like I’m somehow above that. However, I don’t think the solution should be to make others feel shitty but rather to try and give room for all kinds of points of view.

Anyway. End of my usual rant when it comes to these things. (^_^ ‘‘)

“what do you think about the sexual orientations in 19 days?”

When it comes to sexual orientations in 19 Days, I feel like the most accurate answer I can give is “I don’t know”. I don’t think it’s possible to tell one way or another for sure, and anyone’s interpretation is as good as mine. The things I’ve said in previous answers - and what I will continue to say in this one, too - are merely based on the vibes I’ve personally gotten. I am not trying to make it sound like I have some kind of solid, concrete “evidence”. I want everyone to keep all of that in mind when reading this.

He Tian and Mo Guan Shan

I’m going to be fairly brief with HT because I’ve already talked about him in this sense a few times. In short, I tend to read HT as a budding bisexual. Partly because of the vibes I’ve gotten and partly because of my own bias as a bisexual. It’s a pet interpretation of sorts that I like to toy with.

There aren’t any solid extracts of the comic for me to base this on, either. Merely little details that had caught my eye and made me wonder (ch. 160, 190, 226. 307):

If someone says that none of those panels make HT a bisexual, I would wholeheartedly agree. But to me, as a reader, those little details muddy the waters. Reading magazines with half-naked women in suggestive poses on the cover doesn’t make anyone straight, bi, or anything, but it seems HT doesn’t at least mind that kind of content - perhaps he’s even interested in it since he’s supposedly spent money on them. Of course, it’s too hasty to judge a book by its cover so to speak but I’ve always been interested in that detail.

However, what has made me think HT might be bisexual more than that is the whole “I don’t want you to like me more and more” thing. I have somewhat mixed feelings about the note but regardless of that, HT felt the need to lie to MGS. Again, there could be many reasons for it - but I think one possible reason could be that he was conflicted. Initially, HT didn’t get interested in MGS for romantic reasons, but somewhere along the way his feelings shifted and developed. Was HT confused about his own feelings and that’s why he lied to MGS? Was it his first time discovering such feelings for another guy? Again, it’s impossible to tell for sure but I don’t see why that couldn’t be a possible way to interpret it.

In addition to all of that, we don’t really know enough about HT’s past relationships to tell one way or another. He’s only 15, so I doubt he’s had much experience whether it’s with girls or guys. How being a part of his family has affected him as a person is also something that should be taken into consideration when wondering about HT’s potential romantic past.

I haven’t really talked about how I see MGS’s orientation before. I think that MGS’s character was set out as straight, but it’s always been more like a like “default setting” rather than what he might actually be. I would say he sees himself as a heterosexual but I think that’s more about him just going with what’s considered “normal” without bothering to give it much thought (ch. 222):

That little conversation has always reminded me of the movie 40 Year Old Virgin. Like, if Buzzcut had asked MGS “what kind of boobs do you like?” and MGS had been like “yes” or “as long as she has them”. He doesn’t really seem to have preferences or a type when it comes to girls, and I think one reason for that is because he’s never really been that concerned about the matter. If someone asks, he’s into girls but that kind of conversation is over rather quickly with him.

One reason for MGS’s seeming indifference is probably how he’s been rejected by his peers, ultimately leading him to isolate himself and push others away by becoming even harder to approach. Girls wouldn’t be interested in someone like him, so why should he waste time thinking about them? I might be projecting too much but it seems to be like he’s basically rejecting that part of being a teenager. It’s easier to ignore it until you’ve become indifferent than feeling like you’re missing out on something. 

In addition to that, it seems MGS is easily irritated and disgusted by the idea of another guy making a pass at him and aggressively guards both his body and image in that sense (ch. 160, 170, 249, 250, 285):

I’m sure a lot of that has to do with his history of being involved in gangs and being a delinquent. To survive in that world you need to exhibit rather aggressive and masculine behavior. In other words, to be the top dog. In those circles, being gay is easily associated with being the bottom as in submissive and easily overpowered. So, in addition to MGS not being keen on talking about girls and romance, he’s also had to keep up a certain image.

Do I think HT has discovered MGS’s “true” sexuality? I wouldn’t really put it like that. I would rather say HT’s persistent influence has “unlocked” the world of love and affection for MGS. He can experience that part of life with HT instead of rejecting it. I suppose the million-dollar question is does that make MGS straight or homosexual. And to be honest, I don’t have an answer. Personally, I read him more as a heterosexual than homosexual. I can’t really him being in a relationship with other guys than HT.

Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi

I’ve also talked about these two quite a lot, so I don’t know how much I have left to say. Generally speaking, I think JY is someone who might actually identify as a homosexual in the future. It doesn’t look like he’s ever been interested in girls. More importantly, though, it seems that as he’s fallen in love with ZZX he’s also discovered himself in a broader sense (ch. 143, 158, 164, 187):

I think the theme of coming of age when it comes to sexuality is the strongest in JY’s character. ZZX might be the only guy he has a crush on, but JY seems to be thinking about being in love with a guy also as something that might defy him. He feels confused about being different and scared of how others could react to him being in a relationship with ZZX despite how open he also is about his feelings. He might happily want to hold hands with ZZX or kiss him in public but he’s not always that confident. JY is surprisingly good at hiding behind a happy-go-lucky smile and carry the hurt and insecurity caused by prejudice in his heart. Those deeper feelings occasionally burst out when his guard lowers.

Again, this is just an overall vibe I’ve gotten from JY’s character. But I’ve always felt like he’s processing the whole thing of being in love with someone of the same sex on a deeper level than the others. I feel like his feelings for ZZX are connected to his identity more explicitly and him coming to discover himself sexually in the same way that real-life people would.

Compared to the three other boys, I think ZZX has always been a solid straight to me. I think before JY’s confession he identified as a heterosexual. He just was the kind of teenage boy who found girls and crushes too troublesome and annoying (ch. 51, 52, 102):

I doubt the idea of being in a relationship with another guy had really popped into his mind as an option. JY’s confession and feelings for him as a guy came as a big shock to him. Their first kiss seemed to tumble everything down in ZZX’s head and force him to figure everything - JY, himself, and his relationship with JY - from the beginning (ch. 151, 152, 165):

I believe a lot of it was rebuilt the same way but there were definitely changes and also room for future changes. A lot of the feelings ZZX already had for JY - protectiveness, affection, deep sense of bond - could also be applied to a romantic relationship. I believe they’re also the building blocks that ZZX as a character would want to cherish in his romantic relationship. All ZZX needed to do was to shift his point of view a little when it came to JY and see how he felt about it.

As big of a mental turmoil as I’m sure ZZX went through, I think it’s safe for us to assume what his resolve was. I might be too generous with my interpretation but this moment made Zhanyi canon in my head (ch. 209):

ZZX didn’t exactly return JY’s feelings in the same sense but he accepted them. He might not be ready to give all the things JY wants yet but he made a promise that JY will have a future with him. JY won’t have to feel insecure because ZZX will always be beside him. He just needs more time, and JY has to be patient.

But I suppose that once again the question of ZZX’s current orientation remains. And I don’t have a solid answer this time, either. I still read him mostly as a heterosexual, though. Just like MGS, I can’t really see ZZX in a relationship with another guy besides JY. However, I think that ZZX is also the type of character who puts more emphasis on the bond of the relationship rather than his partner’s gender. But...still, I imagine it would be quite a hump for him to discover that he could have feelings for guys in general, too.

“in this kind of comic is usually characters are just in love with someone but no anyone else”

This is very true and also partly why saying anything one way or another is quite difficult. In the story, the characters are in love with one other person, but you can’t make assumptions or conclusions based on just that. Just because you’re in a same-sex relationship doesn’t mean you’re a homosexual. Whenever I wonder about the orientations in 19 Days, I try to keep this in mind but I also feel like the vagueness allows readers to make multiple interpretations. I get certain vibes that point me in certain directions but I completely understand if others end up with other kinds of readings.

However, this kind of “he’s only gay for him” is also something I’ve seen BL been criticized for. It makes it look like men being attracted to other men isn’t a real thing but rather something that happens under special circumstances. Personally, I don’t have a major problem with that - it is what it is, I suppose - but I can see why that would bother people in BL. Do I wish some characters (for example, JY) would come out as LGBT at some point in the story (if you don’t think he already has)? Sure, I’d be interested in seeing that. And I think it would be a natural development for his character. Do I think that’s going to happen? I’m somehow doubtful, not at least in so many words. But that doesn’t really mean the comic can’t tell a story about discovering oneself, as we’ve already come to see.

Thank you for your question, dear anon-san! <(_ _)>