#and I promise you that fandom boundaries will make your life better

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

I've been drifting away from both Tumblr and MCYT for a while now. This was the nail in the coffin.

I have another blog for art, and a third for other fandoms, but I doubt I will use either as often as I used LNLU. There's never been a community I've connected with quite so deeply as this one. Your creativity, passion, and kindness carried me through awful times far more than any individual creator could. It was not all rainbows and unicorns. It ripped open some old wounds, and left some new ones as well. But I want to carry forward the good things. I'm in touch with most of my friends on other platforms. If I've missed you, feel free to message and ask for my Discord.

A few final words, though.

We can never fully know what these creators are like when they're off-screen. What we see is a carefully curated picture of who they are, with flaws either scrubbed away or humorously exaggerated to the point of dismissal. Being aware of this does not mean assuming the worst. It means being realistic. When the people who truly know them become vulnerable by sharing the truth, believe them.

Be cautious of stereotypes. Anyone can be a victim or a perpetrator. If abusers could all be easily recognized at a cursory glance, if the signs were only a simple checklist of traits and deeds, if they were all so obviously monstrous that only a fool could have ever admired them - then far fewer of these people would get away with doing what they do.

They might be charming, attractive, thoughtful, intelligent, or funny.

They might only commit "minor" abuses, the kind that by themselves seem not to count but when taken together will wear you down.

They might blame you for what they do, claiming that you gave them no choice, or using your own symptoms and mistakes against you.

They might not realize that their behavior is abusive, or they might attribute it to other issues they may deal with.

They might apologize profusely and promise to be the sweetest person in the world for you, never to genuinely change.

They might degrade themselves, saying it's "just the type of person they are," and expect you - the one they hurt - to relieve them of their guilt.

They might be victims of something or someone else, too. They might truly be suffering.

But none of that makes your suffering acceptable.

If someone belittles, insults, pressures, screams at, willfully crosses boundaries, lies to, guilt-trips, or mentally, physically, or sexually harms you or someone you care about, there is never any obligation to accept that treatment. No matter what real or imagined position over you they might have, no matter what's going on in their life or in their brain, no one has the right to abuse their power like that. They are wrong.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong, too.

And to other survivors of abuse: it wasn't your fault, you deserve better, you are stronger than you know, your worth never depended on them, and you will heal with time.

Goodbye from LNLU. I love you all.

[vex91]

Ahn Yujin - The best one

Pairing: Ahn Yujin x Female Reader

Fandom: IZ*ONE / IVE

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: Request: G!p Ahn Yujin with virgin reader

Summary: You never told your girlfriend that you were a virgin so when she found out, she decided to make your first time the best one.

Warning(s): Smut, 18+ content, G!P Yujin

A/N: I am weak for this idea🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ Thanks for requesting <3

3rd's POV

You couldn't be more lucky right? You had a family who loved and supported you, friends who accepted you, a career, lovely fans and of course an amazing girlfriend who always respected you, loved you and tried to make your everyday better. You were lucky to have Ahn Yujin as your girlfriend.

You met her through the leader of your own group, Chaewon. Knowing how big of a fan you were of Yujin, Chaewon decided to have you tag along when she was meeting Yena and of course Yujin. At first you were shy in front of your favorite idol but her fun and easy personality soon made you relax and enjoyed the meeting. At the end of the night you both exchanged numbers and promised to call each other when you got to your respective dorms.

Your friendship soon turned into a serious relationship that both your groups were happy about, especially Chaewon who always reminded everyone that if it wasn't for her then you wouldn't get together (She's still very happy for you and Yujin and supports you two the most). Despite being together for 2 years you never got intimate with her, of course you wanted it since you were sure that Yujin was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with but there was one problem that scared you.

You never had sex before.

Your inexperience made you fear getting intimate with Yujin because you were scared that you would mess up or that you wouldn't pleasure her enough. Yujin would understand and you knew it but you still had your fears, that's why you tried to stall it as much as you could until you decided that it was time to stop being afraid of it.

After your promotions ended you invited Yujin to your dorm to spend the night since all your members were out. She accepted it and showed up at your dorm with some snacks that she knew you loved. You let her in and just as you were closing the door you felt her arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you into her chest. You smiled turning around and hugging her back. You stood there just enjoying each other's presence until Yujin pulled away a little and looked down smiling widely at you, soon her eyes moved down to your lips and before you knew it, she connected them in a sweet kiss.

The longer your lips moved together, the messier the kiss became and soon you felt Yujin's hands going underneath your shirt. Panic rushed through you as you quickly pulled away "W-Wait-" Yujin looked at you surprised but still pulled away from you fully to show you that she didn't wanted to cross your boundaries "What is it? Did I go to fast? Because if you want we can just watch a movie" You looked down thinking if you should just tell her your worries. Sensing your nervousness Yujin slowly took your hand and gently rubbed it with her thumb.

Feeling more at peace thanks to this small gesture, you took a deep breath and looked back at Yujin. Her eyes were full of worry and you felt a little guilty for making her feel like that "No, I want it, I really do but... I've never done this before" Embarrassed you looked away from her while Yujin processed your words "So it's your first time?" You nodded. Yujin smiled and gently pulled you into her "It's alright, if you really want it then I can help you with everything. I'll make this time the best one you could've ever have. Is that alright?" Smiling you nodded.

Yujin connected your lips in another kiss as her hands went back under your shirt. Every kiss with Yujin was special because everytime you kissed you could feel her feelings through it but this one felt even more special. The feeling of her hands rubbing lightly against your skin made you crave more and more as you started lightly pulling on Yujin's jacket. Smiling against your lips your girlfriend let you take her jacket off before tugging at your own shirt that was actually one of the many you stole from her.

You let Yujin take it off along with your bra and for a few seconds she just admired your chest. Her eyes were dark, full of lust but you could also see love in them and it made you even more sure about it. You wanted Yujin to be your first and second and your last. She looked in your eyes looking for even a little bit of doubt but when she found none she immediately started sucking on your boobs, leaving marks everywhere her lips landed on. Soft whimpers left your mouth as you lightly tugged on her hair making her moan in your chest. Soon she came back up and kissed you again.

She lightly pushed you backwards until you fell on your couch. Her kisses lowered as she started sucking and marking your neck as well, consequences of it be damned, how could she not mark you when your moans were so sweet? Her kisses once again went lower and lower until she got between your legs. She pulled your pants down in one swift motion along with your panties and started circling your clit, immediately feeling how wet you were "So wet already? We didn't do much though" Her teasing made you whine as she chuckled at your reaction. Going back to your clit she gave it a long lick, the new sensation caused you to throw your head back with a moan.

Yujin continued sucking on your clit at first slowly but soon her movements became faster. Your moans encouraged her to continue so she did but just before you could come, she stopped. You whined as Yujin came back up and kissed you before her hand came back to your clit. She gave it a few rubs before pulling away from you and pulling her pants down along with her boxers. Her dick came out slapping against her shirt that she still had on and you were shocked. You've never seen a dick in real life before so you didn't had any knowledge about sizes but that was definitely not a small one. Not only it was pretty long but also thick.

Noticing that you were staring at it Yujin smirked "You want to touch it?" You nodded wordlessly as Yujin took your hand and placed it on her dick, you wrapped your whole hand around it, earning a small grunt from Yujin as she slightly closed her eyes at the feeling. Feeling a little bolder you got on your knees and putted the tip of her dick in your mouth, your tongue started licking it in circle motion. The feeling made Yujin moan as her hand found its place on your head, helping you get more of her dick in your mouth. Soon you started bopping your head on it, Yujin praised you the whole time and it gave you a confidence to take her fully, lightly gagging on it and erupting the biggest grunt you've heard that day from Yujin.

Before she could come though you pulled away. Shocked from the abrupt stop Yujin looked down at you just to see you smirking at her "You didn't let me come then I just repay the favor" Before you knew it, you were pushed on the couch again as Yujin hovered above you, her tip grazing your clit a few times earning whimpers from you. Without much thought she spit on her dick to lubricate it more before entering you slowly. She got half of her length in before stopping and looking at you for your reaction. Your eyes were shut as you tried to ignore the pain you felt. You nodded giving Yujin a sign to put in more, so she did. She started entering you again until her whole length was in you. She stopped to let you get used to it before starting to move slowly.

You moaned because of the pleasure and pain you felt at the same time but the more she kept going, the more pleasure you felt. Seeing that, Yujin sped up her thrusts, watching as her whole length disappeared inside you. Your walls clenched on her so well that she didn't wanted to stop. Feeling that you were close Yujin sped up even more and soon she felt you clenching on her dick as your juices started leaking out of you and down her dick. You moaned loudly as you reached your climax, tugging at Yujin's hair a little.

Feeling her own orgams coming Yujin pulled out and started jerking off quickly before cumming on your stomach, grunting as she watched you get covered with her cum. Seeing something so dirty made her feel aroused again and her dick to go hard again. Smirking she looked back at you "Wanna go for a round 2 immediately? A movie night can wait" Smiling you nodded and accepted her kiss as she hovered above you again.

You didn't regret a thing because Yujin was right, this was the best first time you could've ever have.

[fluentmoviequoter]

It's Your Life, But Let Me In

Requested Here!

Pairing: Jim Street x fem!reader

Summary: You overhear Chris and Molly giving Street a hard time and ignoring his boundaries. When you encourage him to make his own decisions and remind him that you are with him, he realizes how different you are.

Warnings: spoilers for and dialogue from S.W.A.T. 4x7 "Under Fire", angst to fluff, Chris and Molly, love confession, kissing

Word Count: 3.8k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist Directory | Jim Street Masterlist | Request Info\Fandom List

“Luca needs to get back from Germany,” you bemoan. “I’m starving.”

“There’s this crazy new thing called cooking for yourself. You should try it sometime,” Hondo replies with a smile.

“I have tried and it’s not the same.”

Hondo rolls his eyes and pats your shoulder as Lieutenant Lynch enters S.W.A.T. HQ.

“What are you doing here so early?” she asks you.

“Nothing better to do.”

“Wow. Thanks for that,” Hondo interjects. “I’m not going to let you visit Street anymore if you’re going to treat me like this.”

“You should blame yourself for sending Luca away. I’m irritable because I’m hungry.”

 ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Across town, Street is facing a similar problem of being hungry in Luca’s absence. He’s taken a different approach: less complaining and more cooking for himself and Molly.

“Maybe not as tasty as Luca’s special breakfast burritos, but, uh, as long as he’s in Germany, it’s gonna have to do.” He sees the time and adds, “I’m running late. Would you mind plating these? I’ll be right back.”

“Plating?” Molly repeats. “Think maybe we need to stop binging those cooking shows.”

As she moves the food from the pan onto the prepared plates, three plates she notices but doesn’t stop to wonder why, Jim’s phone begins vibrating on the table.

“Babe, your phone!” Molly calls. When she doesn’t receive a reply, she looks at the caller ID: State Prison Lancaster. “I think it’s your mom!” she adds.

After two more vibrations, she answers and says, “Jim Street’s phone.”

“This is a collect call from state prison inmate Karen Street. Will you accept the charges?” an automated voice asks.

“Yes.” When the line connects, Molly begins, “Mrs. Street, my name is Molly. I’m Jim’s girlfriend.”

While Molly answers his phone, Street gathers his things and thinks of you. You’re supposed to stop by the station this morning to visit, and he’s planning to take you some food because he knows you miss Luca’s incredible meals as much as he does. Upon returning from the bedroom, he sees Molly on the phone and asks, “Is that my phone?”

“Yes,” Molly answers, covering the microphone. “Just a sec, Mrs. Street. Here’s Jim.”

Street takes the phone and ends the call before sliding it into his pocket. He returns to the kitchen and shakes his head at his mom’s antics.

“Jim, what are you doing?” Molly asks. “That was your mom.”

“Yeah, I know. Why would you answer that?” Street replies.

“What if it was an emergency? Which it was. She’s really sick. Says they’ve got her at the prison infirmary.”

“She’s fine.”

“She didn’t sound fine.”

“I promise you it’s just another one of her scams to suck me back into her life.”

“If you’d talked to her, we’d know for sure, wouldn’t we?”

“There’s a reason that I never mention my mother to you. I’m done with her. She’s out of my life. I don’t want her anywhere near me, and I definitely don’t want you anywhere near her. Believe me, it’s for your own good.”

Molly stands in her place, unable to see where Street is coming from. She doesn’t understand why he is so comfortable leaving his mother alone, especially when she calls to tell him she’s not doing well.

“You know,” Molly says after a moment, “I’m going to be late. I’ll grab breakfast at work.”

“Molly,” Street calls after her. “Just wait a second, Molly.”

He sighs as the door closes behind her and sets the empty pan to the side. Street has never been great at relationships, but after Molly ignores his reasons and wishes, he’s not sure she is the woman worth fighting for, anyway.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

“Good morning,” Deacon says as he looks over your shoulder.

You turn quickly and smile when you see Street walking toward you. He extends a covered bowl of food, and you gasp excitedly before thanking him. His close-lipped smile immediately clues you into the fact that something is wrong.

“Are you okay?” you ask softly.

“Yeah, I’m good. Enjoy the food.”

You nod and thank him again before he walks away with his team. After their morning meeting, you hope to spend a few more minutes with Street and get to the bottom of whatever bothers him. Years of friendship have brought you incredibly close to him, and you want him to know that you support him, no matter what he is going through. However, you also know that he is with Molly, so you respect that boundary, too. While you want to hug him, hold him tight, and promise that everything will be okay, that isn’t your place. Until he invites you in, you are happy being an onlooker in Street’s life.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

“You made breakfast,” Chris muses as she shakes her head. “Guess that means Molly stayed over.”

“How’s that going?” Deacon asks. “You planning to settle down sometime soon?”

Street inhales before he shrugs. “I guess we’ll see how it works out.”

“Hey,” Hondo calls as he gestures for Street to hang back and talk to him. Once the rest of the team is out of earshot, Hondo says, “I haven’t heard much about your personal life recently. Your mom’s not still giving you trouble, is she?”

While you look for Street to thank him for the delicious breakfast, you accidentally stumble upon him talking to Hondo about his mom. You stop in a nearby hallway, and prepare to turn around to let Street finish his conversation privately. He tells you a lot about his life, and though you don’t know how big that is for him, you think you probably already know what he’s going to say: he has everything under control, even if he doesn’t, because he has trouble asking for help.

“I got it all handled," Street answers as expected.

“That’s not an answer. Talk to me,” Hondo replies.

“She tried to call me this morning from prison. Molly answered, she didn’t know any better.”

On that note, you do turn and walk away. Molly is not your friend, Street is, so now that the conversation has shifted, you feel wrong about eavesdropping further.

“That doesn’t sound handled. Your mom still locked up?”

“Yeah. Violating parole should’ve been just a year, max, but she’s still there, so it can only mean she’s still screwing up.”

“You don’t talk to her?”

“No. I mean, I did, early on a couple times. But it’s always the same old BS with her… How she’s a victim, how the C.O.s or the other prisoners aren’t treating her right. Nothing’s ever her fault.”

“She’s still blaming you for being there?”

“Probably. She was never exactly the forgiving type.”

“All right, look, kid. I’ve always tried to have your back where your mom’s concerned. Now, we banged heads over it early on, but when it comes down to it, you got to do what’s in your heart.”

Street nods, but lately, what his heart wants goes against what everyone around him thinks is right.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

“C’mon,” Chris says, “I have to do the boring part of the job and I could use some company.”

You nod and follow her into the kitchen and dining area of S.W.A.T. HQ. Technically, you were supposed to leave a while ago, but you’re still worried about Street and want to stay close in case he needs a friend. Yes, his teammates are also his friends, but since you don’t work with him daily, it is easier for him to open up to you. Or, at least, that’s the reason as you see it.

Chris gives you a few directions so you can help her and make the project go twice as fast. You work side-by-side and talk about your plans for the weekend. Even though you aren’t on the team, Street’s teammates always make you feel like part of the family when you stop by.

“So, any big weekend plans to tell Street how you actually feel?” Chris asks.

Luckily, the door opens before you can reply.

“Oh, hey,” Street says when he enters. 

He smiles and asks what you’re still doing here, but you don’t get to answer before Molly walks in.

“Molly, what’s up?” Street asks.

You return your attention to your task, and you and Chris speed up to get out of the room as quickly as possible.

“I know you’re busy, but I called the prison to check on your mom.”

Once you hear that Molly crossed such a clear boundary, you freeze momentarily before growing desperate to escape this conversation.

“You did what?” Street demands.

“She wasn’t lying, Jim. I talked to a doctor, it’s something with her liver. They’re transferring her to a hospital for tests. It’s bad.”

“I told you, I want nothing to do with her. You know our history. Her- her drug abuse, alcohol, violence.”

“Every one of those things is consistent with her being abused,” Molly argues.

“Do not go making her a victim.”

You finish what you’re working on and look at Chris. She picks everything up and points hurriedly at the door. A tiny part of you wants to hear where this is going, but you and Street are too close to throw away your relationship over something he will tell you when he’s ready.

“Well, that was…” you begin as you walk into the hallway.

“It’s going to be a long day,” Chris sighs.

“Not what I was thinking,” you murmur.

You look back over your shoulder at the door and wish you could go in and encourage him to do whatever he wants, whatever he thinks is right. But Molly is in there, and you trust Street will always do the right thing no matter what she says.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Street watches you leave and wants to follow you, but Molly continues arguing.

“Babe, your mom is a victim. I deal with women like your mother all the time, their lives destroyed by the trauma of being abused and never getting help. Twenty years ago, she needed treatment, and all she’s had is a life of black eyes and incarceration.”

“This is my fault for having her locked up again?” Street questions.

“No. But, Jim, this is the woman who gave birth to you.”

“And dragged me through hell every day since. She betrayed me, she lied to me, she stole from me, she almost cost me my career at S.W.A.T. I can’t believe you’re taking her side on this.”

“I’m not taking sides.”

“Don’t you think maybe you should be? You know what? I can’t do this right now. I’m at work, okay? I just…” Street turns and walks toward the door as he finishes, “Can’t do this.”

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You leave the station soon after Street returns from his conversation with Molly. You plan to visit again when he gets off and remind him that you’re here for him, but he is at work and has more important things to focus on than his mom, girlfriend, or you. There’s a brief moment where you consider calling Luca and asking him to talk to Street. You decide against it because Jim probably doesn’t need anyone else in his business right now.

When you arrive at the station, Deacon sees you in the parking lot and insists you go inside. He noticed Street’s off attitude, too, and thinks you're the cure.

“Are you sure?” you ask quietly.

“He needs a friend. That’s you.”

You nod and walk into HQ. Street isn’t around, so you sit beside the locker room and are soon unintentionally eavesdropping for the third time today.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

At the end of the shift, after a long day of saving firefighters and finding a shooter, Chris and Street are in the locker room and preparing to leave. Street wants to go home, maybe call you, and then enjoy some alone time without anyone asking him what he is going to do, or worse, tell him what he should do.

“You figured out how you’re gonna make it right to Molly yet?” Chris asks.

“How I’m gonna make it right? I’m not the one who needs to apologize," Street replies.

“We got out of there as fast as we could, but I heard enough to know, you… You’ve got some fences to mend.”

“You also heard how she totally went behind my back with my mom.”

“Her motive being, what? Compassion? Giving a crap about women who’ve had a messed-up life?”

You pull your phone from your pocket and press Street’s number. He doesn’t answer, and you frown before standing. You don’t want to hear more than you have to, so you walk to the parking lot and wait beside Street’s bike. He exits the building alone and is clearly in no mood to talk, but you must ensure he knows that Molly and Chris are wrong. They have no say in his personal life and are never willing to be there for him.

“Hi,” you greet. “I know you’ve had a crazy day and you’re ready to get home, but I need to say something first.”

“Let me guess,” he begins defensively. “You’re going to tell me that I should go see my mom or apologize to Molly. Why not make it better and say both?”

You fight down a smile at his response. At least he hasn’t lost his personality in the day he’s had.

“Actually,” you reply, “I was going to tell you that Chris and Molly overstepped. None of these decisions are theirs, and, in the end, it’s your choice. Because your life is the one being most affected. I just thought you could use a reminder that no one gets to make these calls for you. It’s your life, Street. I, for one, am with you no matter what you decide to do.”

“What if I make the wrong decision?” he whispers. Every trace of defensiveness is gone in his clear doubt about the choices he faces.

“Then you’ll find a way to learn from it. I don’t think there is a wrong decision here; unless, of course, it’s not yours.”

“I really don’t want to talk to my mom.”

“Then don’t. You know you and you know her, so you know what is best for you and your relationship with her. If that’s no relationship, that’s your choice.”

“I don’t know.”

“But you will,” you promise. “You’ll make the best decision for the right reasons. You choose for you, not for anyone else, okay?”

Street nods slowly, and you wish him goodnight before you turn toward your car. Suddenly, you remember he is facing one more decision and spin to face him.

“One more thing, Street. You didn’t do anything wrong, you just stood up for yourself, so don’t apologize unless you think you need to. Don’t let anyone that’s not in your relationship into your relationship.”

“Thank you,” he calls after you.

You don’t see Street’s smile return as you enter your car, but your statements help him more than you thought they would.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

When Street texts Molly and asks her to come over, he fully expects her to say no, so when she knocks on the door a few minutes later, he’s surprised.

“Thanks for coming,” he says as he invites her in. “I wasn’t sure you would after today.”

“I’m here, so…” Molly begins. She trails off and waits for Jim to do something.

There’s an apology somewhere inside Street, where he says he was a jerk and makes excuses for his actions. However, your words are fresh in his mind, and he decides not to apologize. As he looks at Molly and compares what she said and did today to your words and actions, Street realizes something.

Whenever he thinks of taking the next step with Molly or one of the guys asks where he sees the relationship going, he can’t get past this point. Hondo joked that it was his inner playboy, but Street sees now that the issue was never him or a fear of commitment. It was Molly the whole time. 

Since the beginning, Street knew that Molly wasn’t the right one, but he’s finally ready to admit it. Molly was never really there for him, never listened to him – still doesn’t, Street thinks – and she has never been respectful or careful of his boundaries. 

“You may be expecting an apology,” Street says, “but I don’t think I need to give you one. I asked you to leave it alone, and you didn’t. I know you mean well, Molly, but I can’t keep doing this if you’re just going to go behind my back and ignore everything I say.”

“She’s your mother!” Molly argues. “You still have time to fix things with her.”

“That’s just it, though. I’m- I’m not sure I want to. Listen, Molly, I know that you lost your mother, and how devastating that was for you, but it’s not the same situation for me.”

Street’s mind drifts to you. He remembers what you said earlier and realizes it has always been you. You are the only person in his life who has always been with him, listened to him, supported him, and respected his feelings. You respect him and his boundaries no matter what. Unlike Chris and Molly, you’ve never tried to decide for him or make him see your reasoning, but you’ve been there to talk or listen when he needs it.

“Molly, look. I love you; I do. But not in the way that you deserve to be loved, or that I need to love whoever I spend my life with,” Street explains. “You will always be special to me, but I have to make my own choices.”

Molly wipes a tear as she asks, “Like what?”

“When to go get the girl,” Street answers quietly.

Molly nods and rushes out of Street’s house. He sighs before he follows her.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

A loud knock pulls your attention from the book in your lap, and you set it to the side before you slowly walk to the door.

“It’s me,” Street says from the other side.

You release a breath and open the door. It’s late, and you’re confused about why Street is knocking on your door when he’s supposed to be with Molly, but you let him in anyway. When he stops beside your table and stares at the book you left on it, completely silent, you grow less confused and more concerned.

“Street,” you say. You lay your hand on his arm and ask, “You’ve been different today. What’s bothering you?”

“You,” he whispers. 

After you pull your hand away, shocked and heartbroken at his answer, he rushes to explain himself.

“No, listen,” he begs. “What you said earlier changed everything. You told me that it was my decision and that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to, all that. But, when I was talking to Molly about how she doesn’t respect my decisions or my boundaries and tries to force her opinions about what I should do without knowing my reasons, I remembered you.”

You furrow your brows, and Street raises his hands to hold your shoulders.

“I appreciate you, so much. Not just for telling me what I deserve but for being that and so much more. You are the only person in my life that just lets me do what I need to do, and you’re by my side through all of it. Everything that you said I needed, I have in you. Thank you.”

“Of course. It’s your life, Street,” you reply. “But that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.”

“You-“ Street begins again before trailing off. He doesn’t know how to express his feelings because he’s slowly realizing what he feels for you.

“Spit it out, Street,” you say with a smile. “I’m here to listen.”

Street shakes his head but lowers his voice to do as you say. “I loved Molly, but- but Molly didn’t just love me back. She tried to tell me how to love. And Chris- I don’t even know what Chris’s problem is; some days she wants to love and others she just wants to be loved, but never at the same time. It’s exhausting to deal with, but then she argues about what love looks like even though she can’t possibly know.”

You nod along, not sure what Street needs or wants to hear. Staying silent seems like the best option while he works through these thoughts. He’s saying the word love a lot, but never in the present tense or as an active feeling, you notice.

“But you… with you everything is shared. You love without expecting love in return, and you listen and remember. There has never been a moment with you where I felt pressured or ignored, and I love that about you.”

You smile and open your mouth to tell Street you’ll always be here for him, but he cuts you off.

“I love that about you,” he repeats. “I love you because you are everything I don’t deserve, but you make me feel deserved.”

After your eyes widen, you make a noise that sounds like a sob and a laugh. Street waits for you to say something, but you can’t beat the speech he just gave, so you raise your hands to his cheeks and nod. His eyes widen to match yours when a tear slides over the bump of your cheek as your smile returns.

“You said it’s my life, but I don’t have to do it alone, right?” Street murmurs as you step closer to him.

“Right.”

“Then, I think that I’d like to make you a bigger part of my life.”

You don’t hesitate to kiss him, and as he meets you in the middle, you think about how long you have wanted to be part of his life. Being near him was beautiful, but being by his side through everything will be an entirely new and perfect experience. You love Jim Street, and now that he loves you, too, you feel like a part of his life, not an accessory to it.

“I love you,” you say against his lips.

Street’s arms tighten around your waist, and he tilts his chin to kiss your forehead before standing.

“Did you break up with Molly before you came over here?” you whisper.

Street nods, and you bite your bottom lip before saying, “So, you’re giving me her position?”

“No,” Street promises with a laugh. “I’m giving you the position I should have given you a long time ago.”

You kiss Street quickly and laugh when he tries to follow you for more. “I promise to fill my position well, and to always listen to you, respect your boundaries…”

Street ducks his head, and his nose brushes against yours as he replies, “Maybe we could remove a few of our boundaries.”

He kisses you again, and you find that you like your new position in Jim Street’s life more than you ever anticipated.

[blues824]

Brothers and royals react to mc who’s a power ranger/Kamen rider back at their world and keep their hero identity under wraps

I had no motivation today, and I apologize for making this so short.

Lucifer 

For once, can he get a normal exchange student? Anyways, he already knows about your hero identity because of your student profile. Also, your extraterrestrial parentage was there as well. You kept up a good mask, but he kept a better one. He thought it would be better if you didn’t know that he knew your secret.

Honestly, it’s amusing to him the lengths you would go to protect your identity. However, he kind of understands because if the villains you went up against found out, they would go after your family and friends just to hurt you in the end.

Mammon

He’s kinda dumb, so you had no problem with concealing your identity. However, he knew that you were much different than any typical human. He couldn’t tell you what it was, but he just got a different vibe from you.

When you do tell him, he acts like he totally knew from the beginning. However, he is definitely shocked. He’s worse than Xibalba in the Book of Life when Manolo won the bull fight on the inside. With how he was stuttering, you were able to tell.

Leviathan

He was definitely able to tell because he has seen a show like this. It was a show about aliens that came together to defend earth against a bunch of villains, and he was a huge fan of the multiple different series revolving around the fandom.

When you reveal your secret identity, he just thinks you’re so freaking cool. Also, he feels honored that you would tell him this valuable information. It means that you both got to a point in your relationship where you trusted him. Also, there’s no need to worry about him: he’s the commander of Hell’s Navy, after all.

Satan

He also went over your student profile, just so he wouldn’t be left in the dark about anything. However, he made no effort in concealing the fact that he knew exactly who you were. No, but he did promise to not tell anyone else… and he would take it to your grave.

This little secret of yours brings the two of you even closer than before. He’s glad that you trust him to keep his promise. In return, he’ll tell you some of his deepest secrets so that you’re not the only one who feels exposed. 

Asmodeus

He suspected a few things, but all of them led to dead ends. He didn’t really do a thorough investigation, so he just let it go. Everyone was weird in their own ways after all, and he’s not one to judge (he is, but we don’t need to talk about that).

When you tell him, he’s kind of offended that you didn’t tell him in the first place. He has spilled out his heart to you and you couldn’t bear to do the same. However, he is glad that he was the first you told because he would have been even more upset if he wasn’t.

Beelzebub

He suspected absolutely nothing because he’s respectful like that. He loves you for you, even if you do act like you’re hiding something. Of course, he doesn’t know what you could be hiding, but he knows that it’s there. He just figures that you will tell him when you want to.

When you do tell him, he’s happy that you don’t feel the need to keep it from him. This boundary that was established between the two of you was now cleared out of the way, and he feels so much closer to you. He promises to keep your secret, don’t worry.

Belphegor

He also suspected a few different things, but never made an effort to investigate his theories… mainly because he was too tired to do so. However, that doesn’t mean that he isn’t still wary around you. He guesses that he just doesn’t know you that well.

When you reveal your true identity, it’s most likely when he attacked you in Lesson 16. You had powers and your alien form was revealed. He wasn’t shocked, but rather angrier that you were putting up a fight instead of just accepting your fate.

Diavolo

He also knew about your powers and parentage because of your student profile. He isn’t going to walk into something like this blindly since it’s a huge step in uniting the three realms. Aliens existed in the Human Realm, so he thought it would be beneficial to have you as an exchange student.

He will tell you in private that he, Barbatos, Lucifer, and Satan are all aware of your secret, and will help you come up with a plan to hide it from the others so you don’t jeopardize their safety. As the Prince of the Devildom, he is strong enough to look after himself… so don’t worry about him!

Barbatos

He helped in the process of selecting an exchange student, and he was the one who informed Diavolo that it would be beneficial to have an extraterrestrial being as an exchange student in the hopes of uniting humans, angels, demons, and aliens.

He vows to keep your identity under wraps for as long as you desire. He doesn’t blame you for wanting to protect the ones you care about. He is happy to hear that you trust him to do this for you, and will make sure to honor this trust you put within him.

Solomon

He knew that you weren’t human. Sure, he acts pretty shady himself, but you acted completely different than any other human he’s ever communed with (or married, since he’s had 1000 spouses biblically). He just doesn’t know what you are.

When you did tell him, he’s not at all surprised. Sure, it was definitely unexpected, but he was waiting to hear that you weren’t human. Otherwise, he would've thought he lost his own mind. He feels grateful that you can trust him.

Simeon

He was probably aware that you were a Power Ranger, but also alien because the Celestial Realm keeps tabs on all beings alive within the Human Realm. And guess what? Space is within the Human Realm. 

Your desire to protect the ones you love was honorable, and flattering… mainly because you were panicking when he had informed you that he knew your secret. You don’t need to worry about him though, since he is an archangel and therefore can look out for himself. Although, it doesn’t hurt to have his beloved so worried about him~

[everythingelseisspokenfor]

See, I am never going to defend Prapai for what he did the first night he met Sky. He was being a cheeky bastard but he should have asked for more explicit consent.

Buuuuut. These past few episodes seeing people pounce on Pai like he's a predator just felt wrong to me, and I didn't want to comment until I was sure about what exactly it was that I could see that the others couldn't or vice versa.

I feel like the answer is very simple and something many people in the LITA fandom also kinda addressed. Pai doesn't really know anything about Sky or his past or his demons. Pai has a crush and his life so far, silver spoon and all, has taught him that he will eventually get what he wants.

Also, Pai is sooo much more adept than people give him credit for. After he properly starts pursuing (hate that word) Sky, he starts testing boundaries. He looks for reactions. He understands that Sky's words seldom match his actual feelings. I even think he took that first night into account as well with the "take whatever you want". Pai is not dumb.

This is especially clear with episode 10 out now, because one, Pai now understands that Sky is more than just 'playing hard to get'. He sees that Sky is scared, maybe he's not sure of what exactly but Pai knows. And you see him more careful than ever with what boundaries he crosses.

After their date, he grabs a chair, sits close to him- waits. Moves in a little bit closer- waits. And then tentatively places his head on Sky's shoulder- and waits again. The kiss on the shoulder and then the comment coz a playboy's gotta playboy.

(Side note: as an architecture student i can confirm that we all do use out stuff as more than just a model making material😂. You go Sky! Represent ❤️)

And sky I feel like needs someone who understands more than just his words. Again, don't get me wrong. Verbal consent is EVERYTHING. Your no is a no. But with sky it's not a no that he says. He says (don't mind me paraphrasing) if all you want is sex look somewhere else. It doesn't matter how long you pursue I won't be interested. He doesn't say no don't flirt with me. And though he's not ready to maybe start leaning on Pai fully yet, he is starting to more or less appreciate his presence. The small ways in which it is comforting. He maybe even likes it now (if any of those smiles mean anything).

Pai is sooo careful of the lines that sky draws. He sees those lines and he wants to see how much of it he's allowed to test. He sees those lines and he respects them. No, a promise to a friend('s boyfriend) is not the best reason to not kiss somone unconscious, you just need to be a decent human. But i will go back to saying that the day(s?) He spent taking care of Sky, he understands the reasons for those lines better and he understands why him being a playboy might be a trigger.

In conclusion, is this just me being whipped for fort and hence trying to project a positive light on Pai- maaaybbeee. But do I still think I'm right. Also yes. Very long rant over. Byeeee

[aprilsadviceaskblog]

tw, just talking about obsession with fp, mention of past grooming (not in any detail)

I'm looking for advice and maybe some opinions on the situation

I need help with detaching from my fp. And I'm not sure where to start, and I'm scared to let go.

For context, I'll write the important parts of my story with this person.

He's a mutual friend, we've never been close. The moment I've met him I thought it would just be a crush but i was so damn wrong. He's the first cis guy who I feel never treated me any differently because I'm a trans man. I helped him kick out a groomer from his band after we found out his intentions, I was later groomed by said guy and my fp offered to help me report him which I unfortunately declined (and also lied to his face that I wasn't being groomed because I so embarrassed about it). That simple act of kindness just made my attachment worse.

He found out I "liked" him later, and politely declined me because he's straight. He was so nice about it which didn't help stop my obsessive tendencies and soon enough he realized it was more than a little crush. He quietly cut me off but we still hung around the same people and he was never rude to me.

I started realizing I went too far and I talked with him at one social gathering back in December last year. I apologized for everything, said I was aware I've crossed his boundaries, that he didn't deserve it and that i didn't expect forgiveness but I was letting him know I was aware of how far I went amd the guilt was eating me alive (I knew names of his family members, had pics of him saved, drew him a lot and he found out after somebody told him). He listened quietly, then slightly smiled and said that it's okay, we all fuck up sometimes and that everything is okay in between us. He was much more mature about everything than I was, I don't think I even deserved to be forgiven so easily. I thanked him and that was it. We had more pleasant interactions after that and things seem to be better.

But I know my obsession hasn't gone away, I still haven't deleted pictures of him I have, I still draw him, I still make harmless jokes about him but they just prove I still think about him all the time. I feel really bad because I promised I won't make him uncomfortable anymore. In a few days marks one year since I've met him and my life changed because he introduced me to so many new people from our friendgroup. I don't think he realized how much of an impact he had on me.

I just want to see him as a normal mutual friend. He's a very sweet person and tolerated me way more than he had to. I'm sick of my whole life and emotions relying on a person I barely even talk to.

Please help.

I wrote a post on having healthy relationships (platonic or romantic) with a FP, and I think some of it may be helpful. It's here.

In case you don't want to read that, I will share the most relevant points here.

"One of the first things is that even though it may be uncomfortable, diversify your relationships! Have different people that you have different similarities with. For example, maybe you really love a certain show, well making friends in the fandom might be a way to have someone to talk to about that interest.

Focus on your own hobbies. It's important to try and find a way to be happy on your own.

Practice your DBT skills. There are so many different skills useful for different situations. Here is a page I am working on of definitions of different skills. If one skill doesn't work for you, please don't give up on DBT skills. I've tried a lot of different skills, and a lot of them don't work for me but some work really well."

I might also treat the obsession to draw and stuff like that kind of like an urge? When you get the urge to do it, maybe try practicing your urge surfing?

Radical Acceptance might also be useful.

If anyone else has any advice, please feel free to share it. I feel a bit stuck on advice here!

[blogforwritinggenshin]

Hey hate to bother you but would you consider doing an aether x male reader where the reader is setting a boundary (preferably that there not comfortable with kissing) and aether telling him that its fine if he’s not comfortable with that and comforting him? If not that’s fine thank you for your time!!^^ i love your writing have a good rest of your day/night <3

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Characters: Aether

Pairings: Aether x male!Reader

Warnings: none :)

Word count: 370

Synopsis: Your name and request are making me think you might like Aether. But that's just a hunch. /j

Also it’s no bother at all! This is such a cute ask! Hehe thank you so much! I hope you have a good day/night too ^-^

You were over the moon when Aether and you got together. You were so ecstatic that you forgot all about telling him anything else. So when he leaned in to give you a kiss you yelped and jumped away. Your blood pressure instantly went up, and you anxiously looked at him. He looked so confused and hurt making the guilt inside of you worse. 

“I– I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He looked at you with concerned eyes. His hand instinctively raises, wanting to reach out, but keeping its distance. 

Your heart pounds as you try to think of a way to explain your actions. You’re overwhelmed by the situation. You ruined the moment. Aether must think you’re a mess. He probably doesn’t even want you as his boyfriend now. Not if you’re going to be pathetically freaked out by a simple kiss! 

You feel like curling up in a ball and hiding. 

“Hey,” his calm voice reaches your ears, “it’s okay. I should have asked first. It’s okay if we don’t kiss right now. Let’s just take things slow.” He gives you a gentle smile, and your heart clenches. You don’t deserve this man. He’s so caring and sweet. Even from the beginning when you two met and you were so anxious and wary of him. He gave you room to breathe, to think, to grow and trust him. 

You nod slowly. 

“Thank you. I… I’m sorry. I’m not ready for some things just yet. B-but! I promise, I want to be with you!” You’re quick to somehow prove you’re not trying to back out of this relationship. You want– no. You need him in your life. Your heart would break if you two couldn’t be together. 

“Of course. I don’t want you to be stressed or uncomfortable. I love you,” the way he says that has you swooning. You smile instantly. 

“I love you too,” you say happily. Aether always seems to know what to say to help you feel better. 

“Do you want to hold hands and go for a walk? Just the two of us?”

He looks hopeful again. You love the way he smiles. You nod quickly and grasp his hand. 

“Of course. I’d love to.”

[laffy-taffy-creations]

Dayyyyy 3!

This fic was cross-posted on AO3 here

Language of Protection

Journal | Solitary Confinement | "Make it stop!"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Words: 551

Warnings: human experimentation, quirk experimentation, all of it is unethical experimentation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

White. Walls and Walls of nothing but white.

The tiles on the floor way too clean, you could tell there were frequent accidents.

“C’mon MEQAT3, you do this,” I whispered to myself. Running through the entirety of the lab in less than 5 minutes was incredibly taxing; but if I was gonna escape here, I had to be able to run and fast.

I heard someone screaming. “Make it stop, make it stop!”

Shit.

I forgot they were beginning another genetic experiment today.

I ended up making a quirk U-turn and sprinted towards the sound.

I tried to open the door. The doorhandle refused to move. It was locked. It was locked.

I banged on the door. Over and over. “WHICHEVER SCIENTIST IS IN THERE, I’M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS AS SOON AS I GET IN THERE!” I threatened.

I heard a faint chuckling on the other side. It infuriated me.

A few steps back, a small sprint and one foot aimed directly at the door, it was sent flying off the hinges.

I immediately rushed to the side of the new experiment.

“Well, I guess now’s a better time than any to introduce you two,” the doctor said.

I looked up at them, memorizing their face instantly so they wouldn’t be able to get away even if they tried. “What. Do. You. Mean.”

“MEQAT3, meet the new member of your series, MEQAT5,” they said nonchalantly.

I looked at the guy currently hiding in my arms. MEQAT5… just how many of us are they going to make…

“Hey, hey do you understand me?” I asked. He looked up at me in confusion. I realized when I heard him screaming it hadn’t been Japanese, but Chinese.

I took a deep breath. I did my best to remember what I’d learned. “现在你明白我在说什么了吗?”

He looked like he had just met whichever of the gods he worshipped. “是的是的！你是谁?”

“MEQAT3.”

I didnt give him time to respond before pulling him up to his feet, and pushing him through a portal. “For safety.”

I turned back to the scientist. They had been writing stuff on the clipboard. They were using this as a chance to study me.

Unluckily for them, I still had the upper hand of my quirks still active, and set up a quick invisible boundary to make sure it stayed that way.

One quick movement of void immobilised them. I walked forward and took the clipboard.

“I am not something for you to study.”

I made good on my promise and proceeded to cut deep into their skin, the void itself providing an effective clot to the wound.

Walking out, I finally took a deep breath. These 'doctors' were really getting on my nerves.

I returned my attention to the clipboard. It read through like a journal, telling the personal account of my outrage. Documenting all the anomalies with my quirks.

I put it back under my arm and made my way to the room I'd sent MEQAT5 to.

My speed tests had been long forgotten in favour of helping someone new assimilate into this new life.

Try as I might, even I knew it would be a long time before everyone would be able to escape.

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

Hi Sarah! THIS IS LONG I’M SO SORRY! I hope I can vent a little here—I feel like explaining this to anyone irl would take a ton of contextualizing (and honestly I feel…very silly for being upset about it?) I recently joined a Swiftie group (which I won't name, not trying to put anyone on blast) that I was super excited about, since I knew I’d have a lot of overlapping interests with the people there (cont.)

I was looking through some of the posts and found one where a lot of people where pretty upset about the recent lavender haze situation (I won’t go into detail since I know you’re avoiding spoilers, but I remember you indicated previously that you generally know what’s going on). To be clear, I am absolutely not opposed to being critical of Taylor. But it felt really weird seeing people voice criticisms I share right next to criticisms I am fundamentally not on board with. (cont.) It felt like some of my more negative opinions regarding Taylor were reinforced, but then taken WAY further than I’d take them. (e.g. do I sometimes have the thought of “babes, you have multiple mansions and a private jet and you do NOT need any more of our money?” Sure. I could say the same for literally any celebrity at her level. But do I think she’s being intentionally manipulative to her queer fans in a way that’s vaguely sinister? As a queer fan myself, no.) (cont.) I also find conspiracy-level speculation into her personal life very uncomfortable (e.g. you’ve immediately lost me the second you suggest that her current relationship is fake). I didn’t even post on this thread, I just read through it and suddenly felt and extreme sense of burnout and it…kind of ruined my day? And then I was like OH MY GOD am I in way too deep with this fandom that something like that COULD ruin my day? (cont. again I'M SO SORRY) (Last one I promise!!) I’m just upset because I have been so excited for Midnights and was having so much fun with the TSS relistening party, and today I haven’t even been able to listen to Red :( And also very disappointed because I had been looking forward to engaging with this group I joined, and I now have it muted. Anyways, being a fan of anything is supposed to be FUN and not draining, and I hope I can get back in that headspace by the time Midnights comes out! Hi Sarah! I just sent in rather a long vent—and wanted to close by thanking you for making the! Best! Corner! Of this fandom! This page has never once left me feeling drained, and that is all thanks to your efforts in setting boundaries and prioritizing critical kindness. If I’m gonna engage with any group during release week, it’s this one 💚

---

Here's the thing. I think we all know the age old lesson of "You can't control how other people feel about things, you can only control how you handle your feelings in reaction to other people" etc etc. But as with many many things in life - it's more nuanced and complicated than that, isn't it?

I think the point here is not that your day felt ruined by something and then you felt embarrassed(?) for feeling like something as silly (#lovingly) as the TS fandom could have that much power over your life so as to ruin your day. BUT WHAT WE SHOULD FOCUS ON is not the day ruining.

What we should focus on is you had the presence and awareness of self to actively make choices that would make your day and your life and your overall mental place better. You muted and stepped back from a mood that was killing your vibe. You got the weight out of your body and your mind by ranting to a friend. You're refocusing your energy to think about things that make you feel light and happy and do bring you joy. THAT IS WHAT YOU FOCUS ON!! Not that for one moment you felt drained or sad. But that you made the active choice and had the wherewithal enough to say, "I feel this way. But I know that I don't deserve to feel this way. I am choosing better things for myself."

And that is beautiful, friend. And you should feel really proud of you. 💚

With that, IT'S OFFICIALLY RELEASE WEEK BABY BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!! GET HYPED.

[twstedpometea]

Rules-Memo for this blog!

Considering the situation that happened with Crowstales, I’m going to be setting some ground rules. Including about messaging me. I will ask people to please read this post if you plan to interact with this blog! Blog Rules: 1. Please remember my posts (and their topics) are for just educating the fandom and not meant to be used as an excuse to harass someone!  

Yes, Ugi has traced stuff and done other stuff, but it is better to just protect ourselves from her. I can only suggest is that people don’t support her or Block her. By doing so we disable her range in the fandom space. We also need to alert people she’s traced from so they can handle stuff (as a lot of social media limits who can report about tracing.)

I do not want people Doxxing anyone within the Twst-Fandom! I do not support Doxxing. That is against the law!

You can also educate people if you want about the situation but please do not harass, message bomb or spread misinformation! There is a way to educate and make others aware of the tracing issue without annoying others.

You should also respect that people don’t want to deal with drama and that's fine. Everyone has their boundaries. This is why I also made tags so if people want they can blacklist stuff out. Block and move on if need be!

2. No Anon messages! Anon is disabled for this blog!

Again; I will not be supporting any Doxxing and as such if you want to share something your going to have to message or ask me normally.

Despite Anon being off though; I can promise if people do find any traced images and their sources I will keep all messages/asks private between myself and whoever sends the message if your so concerned about privacy.  

If people want me to answer their asks publicly, then please also let me know when you send a message to me.

3.This blog is only going to focus on tracing/plagiarism issues.

As an artist myself, this is where my main focus will be about all this.

All I would like to do is help source things to the original fan-artists/creators because they deserve credit for their artwork and because I don’t support blatant tracing/plagiarism.

Yes, there is a difference in tracing/copying/referencing. I will go over this in a later post to help educate people.

4.  4. Do not copy pasting and altering any of my posts

I do not appreciate anyone taking my posts and copy pasting them and altering anything from them to be used for whatever reason.

5. I will respond when I can!

I have a life outside this Twsty-dramaland. So just be patient. I might not reply quickly given apparently how many messages/people are currently pinging me so please bare with me.

6. Please be civil when interacting with this blog!

I am just a human myself and I have my boundaries as well. Keep that in mind! Thank you!

(Rules will be added if I see fit to edit stuff) -TwstedPomeTea

[2kitsuneao3]

funny little observation i’ve made, but whenever i post in/cest fanfic (whether it be not really in/cest in the case of adoption or not) there’s less comments on it then if it was a straight ship / mlm or wlw - sure this could be because those ships are more popular, but from my time around on the internet and in some larger fandoms sometimes those in/cest ships will be as popular / more popular then main ships so the only conclusion i can come to is ya’ll are just too scared to comment on those fics in the rare case of being caught / called out and like - 

why? 

no genuinely, why? 

because it’s taboo? listen, i implore you, for once if you’re going to navigate the internet in any such way you should 100% explore and interact with the fandoms / pairings that have been labelled as ‘taboo or wrong’ because i promise you it’ll open you up to a lot more conversations about morality and the difference between allowing something in fiction / not allowing it irl and knowing your own boundaries. 

like honestly, i write in/cest, i’ve written sam/xdean for gods sake, and nat/exsam, and wei wuxia/n x jiang cheng; but, on the other hand, do you think i support / could ever support that shit irl? hell no, no fucking way. and maybe it’s because i’ve been doing this shit since i was thirteen, no seriously, but sometimes interacting with fandoms / pairings that others have labelled as taboo and will say ‘you’re a bad person’ if you enjoy / post this, really helps you explore those kind of scenarios (or in this case, pairings) in a safe environment where you are in complete control, you can click out at any seconds, you have all the tags and information going in to know exactly what the story pertains, so that while you’re reading it you can decide whether it’s for you as a person or not - and at the end of it, you’ve still learnt something about yourself / your boundaries / the extent of your own morality etc. it’s the same as exploring those fics that have the tags ‘dead dove do not eat’ - you know exactly what that means, or you should, and you’ve got all the tags to know what it pertains, but if you choose to click on it you in that moment can control exactly how much of it you read, and further your own understanding of yourself in the process while still being completely safe. 

there’s this really cool post i keep finding unintentionally (but ofc i can’t find it now) about exploring the internet critically but also exploring it / into areas which others have labelled as inherently bad / taboo and i’ll see if i can find it / tag it because it explains this so much better than me but like - yeah. 

because it’s the same as like, liking a really fucked up character, right? I love Nir/agi (from AIB), love absolutely everything about him, to his character, his interactions with others, his looks, and i love doing character studies into what makes him the kinda person he is - but do you think i’d ever excuse / allow someone like that in my life irl? hell no! he’s a murderer, a straight up bad guy, and he’d k/ill me without a second thought if i was annoying him - however because of fandom and fanfic (i’m talking mostly about ao3 here with fanfic / spaces to enjoy fanfic) and having spaces on the internet where we can all pool our resources to let others have these experiences also exploring our own boundaries in a safe space, it’s easier than ever to let your own mind expand into areas that others will ostracize you for / call you a bad person for liking. 

just a little rant for 2am haaaah, let me know if any of this made sense. 

[catcatb0y]

I'm so far burnt out that I am literally just kicking fucking ashes right now. I'm short and hot tempered and it's gonna get worse from here lmfao. Life seems fully committed to digging it's heel into me, and I'm clawing at everything I can fucking reach.

I don't care to be the bigger person. I don't care about making friends. I would love to care about my interests, but those are a fucking bust, too.

Every term to describe myself as 'a person who likes Bakugou' has been fucked over by all of you, so I'm just going to say I hate the fucking kid and hope you all leave me the fuck alone.

To everyone joking about the manga spoilers, just fucking block me. Right now. Go the fuck away thank you. To all of the other antis, get some common sense.

Like, I've gotten this far and this bitter, because I want to like the series/ships/characters, but y'all literally just have the option of leaving. If seeing Bakugou or BakuDeku is somehow actively distressing, just- well leave for one, lol, you can't read the series and ignore how important Bakugou is too Midoriya, the kid never shuts up about him. At the very least, Bakugou will always have relevance because of his connection to Midoriya-

That being said, I don't want that shit. Get out.

No one deserves to be told or to be proven or to THINK that they only have worth because of someone else- much less someone they're in a relationship with. (Canon or not) that's a really toxic dynamic (and what led to their friendship getting fucked up in the first place)- it's INCREDIBLY shitty to BOTH sides, and it's not stable or sustainable.

Unlike the rest of the fandom, I care about Bakugou first and foremost. This kid has fought tooth and nail to achieve his one dream of becoming a Hero. He's strong, smart, dedicated, and deserves good things. His character has grown leaps and bounds, and, if no one is going to acknowledge and boost that up... I don't want it.

He deserves to be seen for all of the things that he's done. The only person who made him better was himself. In the past, I would talk about Midoriya's influence, but genuinely that only goes so far. Bakugou's drive and dedication is his own. No one else's. He doesn't deserve to be stuck in a ship that sidelines him and constantly puts him on a place where he compares himself to someone else- and if that's your idea of a perfect BakuDeku, you need to step back and think about the way that you view this ship, because that's exactly what antis have been gagging for this entire time. It's not somehow better just because it's gay in the end.

Other than that, I love to hear nuanced takes and have constructive arguments! Despite not liking or enjoying several aspects of fandom, I am very pro ao3 and I am against any censorship of it. Ao3 was founded due to the fandom purges of the past, and, even if the youth of today think they want that, I promise you guys: You Don't.

As much as I talk about being an asshole, I tend to match the energy of the people around me, so whatever you give me is what I give you- to a point, obviously. I will admit that I'm even shorter tempered than usual given the fact that my life is a fucking hellhole and I have spent the past- three fucking months now- unfollowing and blocking eighty percent of the people on my fucking dash because suddenly everyone is fucking rancid.

I don't come here to put up with that shit. As much as the gods and the shitty assholes in my head want to fight it, I do deserve to be fucking happy.

And let it be known that I don't want any part of a BakuDeku that only benefits Midoriya. I don't. If you're excited about Midoriya shining or saving the day, congratulations, but I don't fucking care, nor do I want to hear it. I've blacklisted his character tag, and I'm damn near close to going full Midoriya anti. Keep it away from me- that's been my one goddamned boundary for three fucking months and still not a single person has consistently upheld it.

I had hope for the series, for the ship, and for the characters, so I didn't want to cut everything out; but clearly that's the only way to not feel like absolute and utter shit, so congrats. I've blacklisted the BakuDeku and Midoriya tags.

Anyone with Bakugou-centric rarepairs that don't highlight this kid's suffering or force him to feel inferior to others- you're welcome to hit me up! Ship wise, I've had a bit of a rocky past with Kirishima, but their dynamic is cute and I still enjoy them. I headcanon Todoroki as ace (and a majority of the smut I've read is horribly ooc, so I don't usually go for it anyways), but I enjoy their friendship a lot, too. Sero and Kaminari are also very nice! I don't really see Ashido that way, but I'm open to it. Uraraka... I tend to ship more with Toga, but I'm flexible.

If anyone wants to talk crackship with me, I'm more than here for that XD bring on the cringe. Canon is dead and I'm a mourning widow who's "oh so devastated, truly," taking the prized jewels (Bakugou, ofc) and running.

[lilyoffandoms]

I am done with fandoms. What am I going to do?

I'll stay away from them from now on and try to forget the ones that I was interested in before. If I like a book, tv show or movie then I'll read or watch it again at some point. No need to write fic, get art, or even interact with other fans anymore.

I feel guilty for finding joy in something and thinking I would find others to share that with. I put the art away in folder which I'm considering deleting. Just makes me feel sad. Did I start to write some things? That was a waste of time too.

The fandom police are ruthless. The nasty horrible people outweigh the good. Let them have it. The content can't be good if so many bad people like it that much.

No thanks, I'm done.

I am sorry you feel that way and I get it. I’ve been there but I refuse to let the ones that want to kill fandom win. Not while I can try and do something about it. But, yeah, I get it. Oh do I get it!

But I have found there are ways to avoid the things you don’t enjoy and way to avoid (or at least discourage) the people that would bring you down. And my experience with fandom has been the better for setting boundaries and no longer listening to those that would tell me blocking or ignoring is wrong. They are wrong.

Do those that despise me still talk about me? Maybe. I’ve no idea if they do and no way of finding out and that makes fandom a better place for me. Do I care what the anon said to me today out of hate? Yeah I care. It hurts but it feels oh so could to block that ask and delete it without responding to it. Let them stew in their little corner hating me. I don’t have the time or inclination to deal with them.

Curate your space. It’s amazing how much better it becomes when you do. Take breaks from fandom. Unplug entirely or just only check in with those blogs you know will make you happy. It’s so refreshing a thing to do. Create for you. I know it’s cliche and it’s sucks at times when you only get five notes but hey, I’m with ya, I have plenty of fics that have five notes and only one reblog among them (thanks to my constant supporter!) Create for you and the one person that freaks out about your creations. It’s a happier place when you narrow your circle to those that actually care.

So yeah allllll that said, at the end of the day you need to do what you need to do for you and your well being. And I’m sorry fandom has made you feel hopeless. I wish I could make it magically better and I hope, that some day, you feel the desire to reach out to those that want to make fandom a beautiful place and share your creations with them. You are welcome to start with me.

I for one will always happily accept tags on creations and will comment and reblog them. Always (unless tumblrs stupid and I don’t get the tag). It may take me a day or two or a week to get to it, depending upon n the season of life I’m in, but I will. I promise.

Hugs (if you are that kinda person) or a smile and pat on the back from a distance if that’s more your speed. I hope you find something beautiful about fandom. It’s not all bad despite what some would have you believe. 💕

[fourth-quartet]

Ahem, ahem. You asked for fic questions?

15, 17, 18 (you pick), 23, 27 (you pick), 33, 35, 43, 44, 50 (talk about whatever you want babe)

Thank you darling~

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

restless constructions (don't leave me) - I mean. It's barely an AU in that it's just giving that good Yohan/Isaac content, but. It's absolutely my favorite.

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

A long, long time ago I had started a regency-esque fae gahan AU.

18. If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

heaven's letters to ourselves - the aroace Yohan chapter. If I wrote a sequel, it would be a great deal of Yohan learning to communicate the boundaries he needs to set, while Gaon unknowingly tramples all over them because Yohan doesn't communicate.

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

A scifi setting.

27. How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process.

voices stolen and people borrowed - if I remember correctly, it didn't take very long at all. I had the snippets from other stories already from the last few times I'd written writer AUs or abandoned original projects of my own. I think I wrote the fic over the course of a week, give or take. The hardest part was deciding where to end.

33. If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read?

I've actually been working on making my chapters longer and planning them better. I'm actually pretty good with any chapter length, as long as the pacing is right.

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life?

If any of my characters seem mentally stable, then that.

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

I used to take prompts waaaay back in like 2017-2018 on an old blog. I'm always open to taking prompts!

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts?

I'm down for either, but it comes really as more of a, like, what the person prompting wants to see. I'm the sort of person who will twist a dialogue prompt if I'm not given parameters.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

I've noticed, since switching the emphasis of my fandom writing, how much my writing changes between fandoms. I miss how I used to write for Vincenzo fics. There was something so visceral about Haseok's perspective. Blunt but flowery. I miss it. I think I've gotten closer in recent times, with some things. Examples below:

“Jang Hanseok,” he says, and oh— his name from Vincenzo’s mouth, with that curl of his lips, sharp and cruel. Hanseok doesn’t know love, but he thinks he understands it, here, now. There’s derision, disdain, scorn, ice, in his name. He knows.

(from illuminations of mirrors from the deep)

Kingsley can’t escape the lingering spirits, the creaks of the wooden flooring of his mind, the way the neighbors look at him like they expect to see the ghosts themselves possessing him. Even as they promise they don’t seek the ghosts, even as time passes and he fills in the empty space where once stood people, fully-fledged lives with patchwork personality, the whispers of familiarity tug at the frayed edges of what once was.

(from WIP titled "the body is a haunted house")

It just feels distant. I miss how close Hanseok was.

Send Me Asks! | Questions for Fic Writers

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hi Ralph! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Harry, and the way he interacts with the world. There was the guardian interview and his weird statement about dilution (which I agree with your thoughts on so I won’t harp on about here). In the vein of weird interview comments Harry has made in interviews, one I also think about a lot came out in 2017-ish after Miley Cyrus came out. I can’t remember the exact quote, but I do remember the interviewer asked him, basically, what he thought of Miley’s coming out, and if he felt like he as a person in the public eye had any duty to publicly declare his sexuality too, knowing what it would mean to a lot of his fans who are struggling with their own sexualities, and Harry said “I think that’s a weird thing to expect of someone else, and everyone should just be who they want to be.” I don’t necessarily disagree with the content of his comment - you don’t owe anything to anybody when it comes to your sexuality - but I feel a little weird about the message behind the comment which I took to be “just let me sing and make music and stop asking me for anything else.” I think a large part of the reason I extrapolated that from his comment (and I do realize I was reading into it) has been his general reluctance over the years to get involved with any sort of political movement. The only two real exception I can think of are (1) LGBTQ rights kind of, although to be honest some of this seems performative to me, and (2) his weird and sort of short lived foray into BLM with the march he joined and his Instagram post. That, combined with his decision to move forward with his tour and the general outrage and feeling that Harry is “disconnected” from his fans, that he is “money hungry” that he is “using his fans” etc. has had me thinking. I disagree with the discourse vilifying Harry for his tour decision, and I think a lot of it is that people are angry and scared and frustrated (for valid reasons) but they are equating their rightful feelings of frustration with the situation to mean Harry failed them on a personal level, which I don’t think is true or fair. But I do think Harry is a celebrity who seems generally out of touch with what the rest of the world goes through, and worse he doesn’t actually seem to care. I feel like he withdrew so much after 1D days, and in general I do applaud that decision - I imagine he was dealing with a lot of trauma, and a retreat to as much of a private life as he could manage was probably well called for to protect his mental health. But his withdrawal has continued, and we only really see him when he has something to promote. We don’t get anything at all from him expect his music and now his movies. I don’t want this to come across as me yelling “Harry tell me about your personal life!!!” Because it’s not. I believe he should have complete privacy in that realm, if that’s what he wants. But to me, Harry cutting so much of himself off from the world has made him feel incredibly shallow and disconnected from his fan base, except when he has something to sell. And I do wholeheartedly think when you’re in the position of massive privilege that Harry is, you have a duty to be a well educated, well informed, active participant in your communities, and to throw your weight around for good. On the one hand, I do want to give him the benefit of the doubt. He came into this life he has now at 16, after leading a childhood that seemed to be fairly untouched by any real hardships. He has lived a life that is largely insulated from the way the rest of the world lives. On the other hand, he has the ability to educate himself, and not having those lived experiences personally doesn’t, I think, excuse him from learning about them and working to help who and where he can. I don’t think I really have a question here, I guess I’m just interested in your thoughts. I value your input, and your answers always push me to think about things in ways I hadn’t before. This has been taking up a lot of my mental space, and I’m curious if you’ve thought about it any.

Oh anon - there's a lot here and I'll try to untangle some of my reactions.

First of all - leaving outside the politics of all of this - I think there is part of Harry, both artistically and how he presents himself as a celebrity, which is very good at suggesting things, and leaving space for possibilities. And I think, at least at this stage, there isn't necessarily a solid core in there if you push. And that's OK, it has a lot of value artistically - blank space is pretty core to any design. But by the same token, it's OK if you want more. If you're dissatisfied with Harry you don't need to be fair for him - you can just think 'I want something you're not offering at the moment'.

But obviously I'm me so I can't leave the politics aside for long. I want to start with the interview - because context is important - that interview was Dan Wotton and the fucking Sun. Here is what was printed, which I think is a little different from what you remembered:

I ask Harry about sexuality in pop, a topic in the headlines after MILEY CYRUS spoke openly about her pansexuality. What’s his take?

He says: “Being in a creative field, it’s important to be ­progressive. People doing stuff like that is great.

“It’s weird for me — everyone should just be who they want to be. It’s tough to justify somebody having to answer to someone else about stuff like that.”

So has Harry personally labelled his sexuality?

He replies: “No, I’ve never felt the need to really. No.”

Would he like to elaborate? “I don’t feel like it’s something I’ve ever felt like I have to explain about myself.”

I want to be clear that everything Dan Wotton was doing here was wrong, from existing to obviously trying to push Harry out. And while Harry was also wrong to be doing an interview with the Sun, he did a really good job of not saying anything he didn't want to say in difficult circumstances.

I want to make it absolutely clear that I'm with Harry. It is tough to justify somebody having to answer to other people about their sexuality. I mean particularly when that person is Dan Wotton working for the fucking Sun.

But in general I don't think there's anything wrong with Harry saying implicitly and explicitly 'Just let me sing and don't ask me for anything else'. More than that I reject the whole premise. In the questions you imagined Dan Wotton asking, you set up the idea that the only way a queer artists could speak to queer fans is by coming out. And I think it's important to push back at that at every opportunity. I've said it before, but that I identify more with Louis reciting the women he's pretending to be attracted to by rote, much more than I ever have with anyone waving a rainbow flag. I reject every part of the premise of 'you coming out would mean a lot to people and somehow that is your problem'.

Throughout what you've written me, you emphasise a belief that celebrities should be active politically - and I really want to push back and ask why? What good does that expectation do you or the world? I think the last thing this world needs is more commentary from people with large microphones and without knowledge or a perspective. The world isn't made better if celebrities feel oblige to talk about politics. And your experience

You seem to think of politics like charity - as something you do for other people out of a sense of obligation. I would argue that very little useful politics has ever been done under that model. Instead I would argue a model of politics based on solidarity: 'If you have come here to help me you are wasting your time, but if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.' (Aboriginal Activist, 1970s).

I think this is what makes the English football team so powerful. Marcus Rashford is fighting for school lunches, because he knows what it's like to be hungry. They're taking the knee, because they have experienced racism, or are expressing solidarity with teammates who have experienced racism. I think Jordan Henderson believes that his world and life would be better if queer fans could be themselves at a football match.

Harry has said in so many ways that he hasn't figured out to relate politically, and he doesn't have anything more to say. That might change, but in the meantime, believe him.

Last off I want to point that you seem to be drawing a parallel between him being disconnected with his fans and not interacting politically and I don't think there is any connection at all. You said:

But to me, Harry cutting so much of himself off from the world has made him feel incredibly shallow and disconnected from his fan base, except when he has something to sell. And I do wholeheartedly think when you’re in the position of massive privilege that Harry is, you have a duty to be a well educated, well informed, active participant in your communities, and to throw your weight around for good.

There is no connection between these two points - none. I also don't think there's anything wrong with being cut off from your fan base, or silent on politics. But they're also independent (I mean look at Shawn Mendes at the period of his career when he wouldn't turn anyone down a selfie. He wasn't at all active in politics then).

I don't think there's anything wrong with valuing an artist being out, politically active, or connected with their fan base. But there are plenty of artists who are out (Lil Nas X, Olly Alexander, and I'll give a shout out to Grace Petrie) and there are plenty of artists who are politically active (Jade Thirwell, Dua Lipa, Stormzy). I'm sure there are also lots of artists who connect with their fan base (although I don't track that personally). If that's what you want, find artists that meet those needs. Rather than choosing an artists who offers something else entirely and having expectations they will never meet.

[scuttling]

Crush

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 3,349 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Crushes, Fluff and smut, Rough sex, Unprotected sex, Manhandling Summary: Hotch has had a crush on the new member of his team for as long as he can remember. He keeps his distance, but he knows everything about her—her favorite snacks, how she takes her coffee. They share a room on a case, and at first, he's nervous, but being around her is comfortable, and he longs for more. Is it possible she feels the same way about him? *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below!

Aaron has a crush on the newest member of his team. There’s no use denying it, or trying to compartmentalize it and pretend it doesn’t exist; it’s inappropriate, irresponsible, and just plain stupid, but he can’t talk himself out of it no matter how hard he tries. He is completely infatuated with her, whether he likes it or not.

And he does like it, sometimes. Sometimes, she will catch his eye on the jet, or in the office, shoot him a soft smile, and his heart beats fast, his chest feels warm. He thinks, I might never get to be with her, but she does think of me, and that’s something, at least.

Sometimes, he hates it, especially times like these, when they’re all on the jet and Morgan is using every ounce of his charm and charisma, the easy smile he doesn’t think twice about flashing, to try to get her to go out on a date with him. She hasn’t accepted the offer yet, and he’s been trying for about five months, almost the entirety of her career at the BAU, but that doesn’t make Aaron feel any better.

He knows Morgan very well. He’ll convince her eventually, and even if it doesn’t go anywhere, he’ll think about the two of them together all the time and never be able to stop. It will take his (mostly) innocent crush to a darker place, a place of anger and jealousy he’s not proud of, but has no control over.

“I would take you on the most incredible date of your life, mama. Dinner, dancing, a moonlit stroll; we go out for a couple of drinks, maybe I'll try to steal a kiss...”

“Maybe I’ll punch you in the face...” she says with a smirk, but he knows flirting when he hears it, and her threat carries no weight. Morgan shrugs, grins.

“Maybe, but I can take a punch. You need a man, and I am fully prepared to be that man; one little love tap won’t stop me.” She raises her eyebrows, looks over at him with narrowed eyes.

“Okay, first thing’s first: I don't do love taps, I do right hooks, so don't tempt me. Second, I don’t need a man, I want a man, and not just any man will do. When I want something, I want something specific. If I want dessert—”

Cherry cheesecake, Aaron thinks. He’s seen her order it three times, is slightly obsessed with the sound she makes when she takes the first bite.

“—I want cherry cheesecake or nothing. Not chocolate, not strawberry. If I want a glass of wine—”

Pinot Grigio if she wants white, Merlot if she wants red—she almost never wants red.

“—I want Pinot Grigio or nothing. If I have to have red, I’ll order Merlot, but I won’t be happy about it. When we’re on a case and I can’t sleep, and I come out to stare at the vending machine for a midnight snack—”

She either gets peanut butter crackers, or barbeque chips. That’s an easy one. Morgan has to know that.

“—I’ll get barbeque chips, or peanut butter crackers, or nothing. I am uncompromising when it comes to the things I want. So, Derek Morgan,” she says with a smirk, and a bit of attitude; it only makes Morgan smile brighter, and Aaron refrains from rolling his eyes, “when I want a man, I want a specific type of man, and I won’t be worn down no matter how many times you ask me out.”

“And what specific type of man do you want?” he asks, crossing his arms. Everyone is paying attention to their conversation, even Aaron, though he tries to pretend he isn’t.

“Well for starters, a man. You’re acting like a guy right now, and I’m not interested in guys.” JJ says ooh, burn, and everyone laughs. “I want a man who knows who he is, even if who he is isn’t pleasing to everyone. I want a man who isn’t afraid to feel vulnerable, who can be tender, who doesn’t run from a situation just because it makes him emotional. I want a man who pays attention to me when it counts, not just when he wants something. I want a man who will respect my boundaries,” she says, a little pointed, “who will help me grow but not try to change me. Most importantly, I want a man who can handle me, and I don’t think you can handle me.”

Aaron blinks hard at that. He’s pretty certain he could handle her, absolutely wants to.

“Alright, I can’t argue with a woman who knows what she wants, and it’s obvious you know what you want,” Morgan says, palms up in surrender. “Let me know when you find the lucky guy—man—so I can warn him about you.”

“Baby, I am the warning,” she says with a wink, and Aaron shifts in his seat.

It’s going to be a long flight to California. When they get to the hotel, JJ hands out the room assignments as usual, and he’s very surprised when she hands her a key out of the envelope marked 313, and then does the same for him. JJ shrugs.

“They didn’t have any singles, I guess. We’re all doubled up.” The other woman adjusts her bag on her shoulder, looks up at him.

“Is that a problem? I promise I won’t disturb you,” she says with a smile, and he shakes his head and, hopefully, his nervousness.

“No, of course it’s not a problem. Thanks, JJ. Looks like we’re this way,” he says, guiding her down the hall.

Their room is a little cramped, but clean, and he takes the bed closest to the door, sets his bag on it. She walks past him, throws her bag on the other bed and puts her hands on her hips, stares down at the ground. It takes him a moment to understand why.

“We could probably move your nightstand against the wall, share the one in the middle.” She looks up, confused, and he rubs the back of his neck. “You need room to lay down your yoga blanket, right? I know you’ve mentioned before that it helps put you to sleep when we’re traveling.” A brilliant smile curves across her face.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I was trying to figure out. Thanks.” He moves to help her, but she lifts the table easily, tucks it in the corner between the desk and the lamp. She rolls out her blanket, pulls an outfit out of her bag. “I’m just going to get changed, and then the bathroom is all yours; I’ll be out of your hair.”

“It’s no trouble,” he says, and he means it; she just nods and smiles again, ducks into the bathroom to change her clothes.

Her outfit is… it’s tight, for lack of a better description, a strappy sports bra and patterned leggings; she does a lot of bending, and stretching, and balancing, her body strong and sleek. He tries to go about his business, but he can’t stop looking.

Once he’s finally able to convince himself to look away, lest she get suspicious of his inactivity, he changes his clothes, takes off his watch and sets it beside his gun, badge, and phone on his side of the nightstand. He pulls out his tablet to get caught up on the news, and it’s actually kind of comforting, the soft hum of her breathing the only sound in the otherwise quiet room.

He doesn’t realize she’s finished until she walks around between the beds, grabs her badge off the nightstand and slides her credit card out from behind her photo ID. “Heading to the vending machine; need anything?” she asks, and he shakes his head—he already brushed his teeth—earning one of her soft smiles.

She grabs her key, slips out the door, and returns a few minutes later with a pack of peanut butter crackers and a bag of peanut M&Ms—his guilty pleasure. She tosses them onto the bed beside him, and her lips twitch, and she strolls into the bathroom and turns on the shower.

He eats his M&Ms and does not imagine what she looks like wet.

Ultimately, he’s happy she was so thoughtful to bring him a snack, but that does mean he needs to brush his teeth again. The bathroom door is open, steam wafting out, so he figures it’s safe to enter while she finishes getting ready for bed. She’s standing at one of the double sinks, wrapped up in a fluffy white towel, brushing her teeth, and he steps up beside her and prepares to do the same.

It’s pleasant, companionable, the familiar sounds of scrape-scrub-spit, and then she washes her face with some foamy, herbal scented concoction he couldn’t begin to identify. He washes his with soap and a little hot water, and she cringes; he frowns.

“What is it?” he asks, toweling off. She hesitates a moment, then flicks open a blue bottle, squeezes a bit of cream into her hands, and lifts them toward his face, pausing with a question in her eyes. He swallows, but leans in closer, and she rubs it over his cheeks, his chin, his forehead.

“Soap like that isn’t good for your skin, not even for guys, and I figured you don’t moisturize. This stuff is unisex, and it will keep you looking young and fresh and handsome; you can have this one, I’ve got more.” She pulls back, washes her hands, and he’s left kind of dazed, longs for the feel of her hands on his face again. That was an unexpected, but very welcome, thing. The next morning, he’s up early, so he showers and gets dressed and then heads down to the lobby for some coffee and a paper. He grabs two cups, stacks them in his hand when he goes to unlock the door to their room; she is awake when he returns, freshly dressed, hair pulled back, and she takes the coffees from his hand before he spills them everywhere.

“Thanks. The one on the left is for you; two sugars,” he says offhand, grabbing his cup and setting it down on the nightstand, flipping open the paper. He sits down on the edge of the bed closest to the nightstand, doesn’t notice her smile, but she settles on her bed across from him, sips her coffee, and reaches up to pull the sports section out from between his fingers. He maybe cracks a smile of his own. That evening, they get back to the room a little cranky, another late night full of dead end leads, and she skips yoga and heads straight for the shower. The blissfully hot water feels good against her skin, and she thinks about touching herself, but it wouldn’t be appropriate, not with Hotch just outside the door.

The thought only makes her hotter, but still, she refrains.

When she’s wrapped up in her towel, she pushes open the door like the night before, starts brushing her teeth, and it’s not long before Hotch fills the space beside her, copying her actions. She washes her face, and he washes his with soap again—so, so wrong—but at least he uses the moisturizer she gave him afterward. Baby steps.

He leaves the room, and she follows him out to grab her pajamas, sees a bottle of water and a bag of barbeque chips laying on her bed.

Enough is enough, she thinks. She wasn’t sure, until they shared this room, but now she’s 100% certain that Hotch has a thing for her, and she’s harboring her own thing, which is stupid. If she wants him (she really, really does) and he wants her, why aren’t they naked already?

Thankfully, that’s easily remedied. She drops her towel, and Hotch looks up from his tablet, drops his jaw.

“I’ve been thinking about last night; how shy you were about our sharing a room. It made me wonder if you’re shy about other things, too.” She walks around her bed, stands between them, presses her fingers to his tablet to push it down, out of his hands. “Are you shy, Hotch?”

“No,” he says roughly, making no effort to conceal the way his eyes sweep over her naked body. She’d blush, but she’s not the blushing type.

“No?” She climbs up, settles in his lap—he’s tenting his boxers already and it makes her feel awesome—and his hands fall to her thighs, spread around him, squeezing roughly. She moans, rolls her hips slowly. “Do you think you can handle me, Hotch? I’m kind of a lot.”

He answers with his hands, grabs her face and pulls her down for a long, dirty, messy kiss. Her chest is heaving by the end of it, and she’s definitely leaving a wet patch on his underwear, she’s so fucking horny. He tips her back, so she’s laying against the sheets, tugs off his shirt, and drapes himself on top of her, tilts her head to the side so he can get his mouth on her neck.

“Oh my god, mmm,” she sighs as he sucks on her throat, grinding his clothed dick against her, and she moves her hands down to sweep them over his body, but he grabs them, pins them up by her head instead. “Fuck, Hotch.” It leaves her mouth as a trembling gasp, and he looks up at her, his eyes dark and hard; he growls out a command for her to stay—she’s sure as shit not going for a damn stroll any time soon—and leans up, pushes his boxers down, and flips her body over.

She’s laying a little sideways, kind of lined up with the bottom corner of the bed—it always makes her feel like a complete whore to fuck anywhere but right up against the pillows, so this alone is enough to get her super hot. He gets both broad palms on her ass, squeezes her hard enough to hurt (and damn if that doesn’t make her pussy drip) and then slowly slides his fingers over her slit, making her toss her head back and groan.

“Oh, yeah. So, so good,” she sighs as he rubs her, spreads her wetness between her lips, over her clit and her mound so she’s sticky and soaked and begging for more, and then he plants his hands on either side of her and thrusts in so hard she has to dig her fingers into the sheets or she’ll go skidding off the bed. “Holy fuck,” she gasps, clutching for dear life as he slams inside roughly and deeply, but so slow it’s almost torture.

“So how am I handling you?” he asks, low into her ear, leaning in to press his chest heavily against her back, rolling his hips and grinding where he’s seated deep. He pulls out almost all of the way and then slams back in so quickly her whole body stutters forward, and her head’s empty, no thoughts but my boss is fucking me and my boss is fucking me good.

She just pants in reply, and he repeats that motion over and over, fast, nearly withdrawing just to fill her until his balls slap against her; she feels filthy, and amazing, and a little pissed it took them this long to do this, and she comes screaming his name, yanking so hard at the bedding that she pulls the fitted sheet right off the mattress.

He keeps pumping inside her, and she clenches around him, moans. He grunts, leans in to nibble her ear. “That’s my girl. Can you handle me?”

“My god, yeah.” She wants to, at least; she’s never been fucked this good in her life, so she’s honestly not sure how much she can handle. It’s always the quiet ones, she really should have known.

“Trust me on this,” he whispers, and she does because she does; he puts his hands on her arms, pries them off of the bed and moves her forward, guides her hands to the floor to support her so she’s half off the bed, her ass up. She’s strong, and he knows she’s strong, but she’s not sure she’s strong enough for this because he just fucking destroyed her and her legs are still shaking. “Trust me,” he coos again, and he shifts up, gets one foot on the ground, holds tightly to her hips, and pounds into her fast and hard, short thrusts that have her moaning and groaning and coming a second time before he even comes once.

He does come, though, just after, and she’s glad she’s got an IUD because if not she’d be leaving here fucking pregnant, no doubt about that.

“Hotch,” she gasps, daring to reach an arm back to touch him, and he pulls her up, lays her back, and kisses her, smoothing his hands all over her body. “Jesus. That was incredible.” She cards her fingers through his hair—he’s breathing heavy too, looks as dopey and pleased as she feels, which makes her smile. “I’ve kind of had a crush on you for the last few months. Thought you didn’t notice me much,” she says softly, and he laughs, incredulous.

“Didn’t notice you? All I do is look at you,” he murmurs, brushing his fingers over her cheek. She grins.

“Yeah, no, I got that. I figured that out; sorry it took me so long.” He leans in for a kiss, softer and slower, and she gets a little horny again, isn’t sure how that’s possible. “Why’d you stay away so much, if you liked me?” She’d done what she could to get his attention, smiling at him, brushing up against him when she could make it look innocent enough, but he’s always been the picture of propriety, maybe even a little distant.

“Morgan,” he says, making a face like he realizes how silly that was. “He’s been trying to ask you out and I figured you’d say yes eventually; he’s confident in ways I’m not. He’s a lot of things I’m not.”

“Yeah, that’s true, and I like you both for the ways you’re different, but his pursuing me has always been a game. A joke. He’s like a brother to me and he knows it. All in fun,” she says, and then he looks like he feels really silly. She leans up for a kiss. “All's well that ends well though, right?”

“Has this ended well?” he asks, a question in his eyes, and she runs her hands over his arms, his sides.

“If it’s up to me, I’d say this doesn’t have to end at all.” He puts a hand in her hair, kisses her deeply, passionately, and brings a few fingers to rub against her clit. She inhales sharply, licks her lips, and sinks back against the bed. “Oh my god, Hotch.”

“That’s right, baby. I’m your man,” he breathes into her ear, and she groans. Yes, he fucking is. The next morning, she goes to the lobby to pour their coffee, grab a paper to share. She passes Morgan—not a morning person—who grumbles a greeting and then does a double take.

“Whatcha got on your neck there, sweetheart?” he asks, and she grins privately, then schools her expression and turns to face him.

“What? Oh, that,” she says, poking at the purple hickey from the night before. “I’ll cover it with makeup later; needed my coffee first.” He blinks a couple times like he's missing something, frowns.

“Did you go out last night after we got here?”

“Nope, jumped in the shower and went straight to bed,” she replies, which is actually the truth. It just wasn’t her bed. She didn’t say anything about sleeping.

“Then who…?” It’s then that Hotch brushes by them, reaches out a hand for his cup.

“One sugar, one cream,” she says as she passes it over, and they both smile. Morgan knocks his cup over and spills coffee all over the floor.

Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal