#basically i hadnt seen in her in a long time like years and i was really excited to see her again at first

[caruliaa]

.

[yaostars]

𝖫𝖮𝖲𝖳 𝖱𝖤𝖢𝖮𝖱𝖣𝖲 ౨ৎ : vlog one

about: lost records of the past and even past friendships lie between small little films from a certain camera. 2006 was a year of laughs, smiles and even more that turned most of them over. who knew going back into the past would help cause a bit of deja vu but also some memories that shouldn't of been shown. note: this is taken during 2006 where everyone gets ptsd lolz!!! but the point of you is basically yk watching the film. reader pronouns are she/her and is a female reader!! the readers personality maybe a little different to yours (sorry) i wrote this all in one go so tell me if theres any spelling mistakes

"nobara we shouldnt be doing this..!!" the pink head nervously fidgeted infront of the tv. "its fine its not like anyone will know if we put it back in the same spot!" she claimed smiling.

opening the small box of tapes with names on the side such as 'beach day ♡' or 'vlog with toru' and other ones with colourful dried out gel pen writing. itadori grabbed one from the box with the name 'vlog one yay ★'.

a certain sea urchin haired walked in with a towel around his neck pausing seeing the familiar pinkish box gojo kept in his wardrobe. "why are you looking through that?" he walked over seeing all the little nick nacks laid out. megumi hadnt seen any of it ever since he was younger when she was around. crouching down and grabbing the tape out of itadoris hands while placing it into the dvd player.

all three of them sat in front of the tv waiting for the tape to work. little speckles were on the screen before showing gojo in the distant talking to someone. they could hear laughter and it was like deja vu all over again for a certain one.

"stop tryna flirt with n/n shes not gonna answer" a tall guy stood next to the white haired one. the camera then turned to a 180 degree angle focusing on a h/c girl with her knees tucked to her chest smiling at the guys away from them. the breeze gently waving there way through her hair with a little smile adoring her plumped lips. she looked to the camera smiling and waving. "do i need to say anything to this vlog?" she rested her head on the top of her knees staring. "just say your name, age, and whatever you want" from the camera person who was oodly familiar.

"uhm! well my name is y/n, im 15 turning 16 in a few days and well i want to help people" smiling at the camera before turning her head to the guys after hearing them quiet down. the camera turned to where she was staring seeing the albino haired man stare back at her before turning away. the other male had bursted out laughing at him before jogging to the camera. "oi geto do an intro to the camera" the camera person claimed at the male who looked confused but grabbed the camera so it was facing him.

"the names geto suguru, im 16 and i love watching gojo fail at confessing and also i really like kfc so if you have it hit me up babygirl" he chuckled before flipping the camera to the two girl showing a brown haired girl. "now you shoko" he claimed while hearing a bunch of footsteps in the background.

"shoko leri, 16 and i hate everyone here except n/n" she smirked before lighting her ciggarette while you could see y/n scrunch up her nose before turning away from the puff of smoke. "bleh" she exclaimed while resting her head on the albino who randomly sat next to her. "well satoru its time for you to do an intro to the camera" geto had placed the camera in his hands before sitting in front of all three of them.

"UHM what do i say n/n?" he turned to her who she was already looking at the camera with curiosity. "just say your name, age and idk a comment..?" she sweat-dropped at the question before grabbing a few daises from the ground making a bracelet.

"well so my name is gojo satoru and im 16 and uh and uh really hate kfc and thats directed at someone here" he looked around for an answer to pop up. it had taken him that long to think until feeling a small amount of weight on top of his head. softly tapping his white locks feeling flowers realising y/n had made a flower crown which could be seen on the camera while she had one of her own. "you like?" she rested her head back on his shoulder staring at the camera dozing off. "of course i do if its from you" he wiggled his eyebrows at her while geto was choking from laughing.

"okay thats enough of flirting on this vlog so say bye" shoko exclaimed grabbing the camera back facing it towards the two males and girl. they looked to the camera and waved.

"geto is a bum-"

the tape had finished and pop out from the dvd player. a cough rang out the dorm seeing the albino male standing there with a small smile leaning against the door frame. "we are so sorry sensei we didnt mean to go through your stuff!! we were just confused why you have a pink flowery box!!" itadori kept bowing up and down praying.

megumi looked away showing small amount of guilt but completely out of it. he missed the sound of one of the girls voice and seeing her again.

nobara just sat still staring at her sensei before getting up while grabbing the box to give back. "were sorry .. it was my idea i was just curious" she bowed while having the box in the air infront of the male.

gojo only chuckled at them before standing back while sighing. "its fine tell me when you watch the second one.. i havent had the time to watch them" he rubbed the back of his neck while keeping eyes on the sea urchin.

"who was the woman that you sat next to gojo?" itadori asked the taller one without a filter. "her name was y/n and she went here" megumi said before gojo knowing he would blurt something out.

"she was so pretty can we meet her one day" nobara and itadori asked gojo with imaginary tails like little golden retrievers. gojo smiled and turned around keeping his back away from them. "yeah i'll take you sometime soon" he walked off making the first years confused.

[castawavy]

November Save MEGA summary (part 8)

before / next

here it is... the penultimate chapter of november save, its been a long journey guys and im glad you all joined me on it. this was definetly my fave family and one that was really important to me because I made steve and june during a time in my life where things were very uncertain & I was going through a lot of changes, so they were pretty much my one contsant for awhile, anyways here are the photos!

so steve and june are still on their little fitness journey together, its a thing that steve has always been into but june wanted to join him cuz she got super into yoga

then as usual they couldnt keep it in their pants

june also got promoted to judge finally, she basically switched career branches after she left Landgraab Industries, but I didnt have any pics of her leaving... but now she works at the local court, and doesnt have to commute to the city anymore which she prefers

then it was Winterfest 🎁 and I decked the halls

lucky elijah got gifted a telescope but I don't remember what we got adelaide

adelaide spent new years with her childhood friend peter (luke's step son) in san myshuno I think she graduated from highschool by now but again, ive lost the photos from her prom... idk what happened to those

the bheeda girls were there too of course, theyre kind of like cousins to adie since shes very close with them even though theyre not even related AHAHAHA

she also met a mysterious stranger named jolene who she later kissed at a house party, she kind of stopped seeing landon because the two of them would always fight, and I think she just had enough

steve and moose cuteness

and a makeover for elijah in prepartion for his YA life stage (he sometimes wears contact lenses now)

THEN a major event in steve's life, but he spoke with june and she persuaded him to finally reconnect with his younger sister, Claire, who he has kind of been no contact with since he was a teenager (mostly because he cut off contact with his parents)

later in spring, the weather started to get nice, so steve and june threw a BBQ / get together with all their friends in the yard

sita and elijah also reconnected as they hadnt really seen eachother since they were toddlers and sita quite liked him :eyes:

then when everyone was gone, steve & june enjoyed some quality time together in the new pool...

meanwhile elijah and sita got cozy and 'watched' a movie teehee

ALSO big news from Raj FINALLY he couldnt make it to the BBQ cuz he and julia just had TWINS

adelaide also worked her final shift at the country club and she and her coworkers played some foosball behind their manager's back

before / next

[bridgyrose]

Story idea: instead of Jaune being the one who ate the fruit and went back in time, it was Ruby, a Ruby who never met up with the others in the Ever After beforehand. (Basically what if Ruby was the rusted knight instead)

(I hope you're not disappointed with the start of this)

Ruby sighed as she trekked through the Ever After, parts of her outfit replaced with armor and one of Penny’s green swords at her hip while she continued to look for Crescent Rose. She had lost track of how long she had been wandering through the Ever After, but all she wanted to do was find her friends. She was sure Blake and Yang ended up here as well, but no matter how long she searched, she still couldnt find them. She brushed her bangs out of her face and sat down at the beach, looking up at the night sky as a couple of shooting stars streaked across the sky. 

Days passed until she heard a couple of voices coming from further down the beach. She slowly stood up and looked at the rusting red and green armor along her shoulders, arms and chest, letting out a sigh when she wasnt sure when she let things get so bad. Still, there wasnt anything she could do as the voice drew closer. 

“Everything will be alright, Lewis. We’ll wake up from this dream and get our way home.” 

“What if this isnt a dream? What if we’re stuck here?” 

“You worry too much!” 

“I just want to make sure we get home, Alyx.” 

Ruby paused for a moment when she heard the name Alyx, recognizing it from a story she hadnt heard of in what felt like a lifetime. Still, she made her way towards the voice, putting up a smile as the two children came into view. “I was hoping the next couple humans I’d run into were my friends.” 

“You’re a human too?” The boy named Lewis, she assumed, asked. “We’ve run into a few other creatures-” 

“Dont talk to her,” Alyx interrupted Lewis, getting between him and Ruby. “We dont know if we can trust her.” 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Ruby said as she raised her hands slightly. “I’ve been waiting for my friends to come around, but you both look like you could use a friendly face. Where are you two from?” 

“Remnant-” 

“Dont talk to her.” Alyx frowned. “We dont know if we can trust her.” 

Ruby smiled a bit as she heard the name Remnant, relaxing. “I’m from Remnant too. I know that all we need to do is get to the tree and we can find our way home. But first, we’ll need to find the Curious Cat.” 

Alyx glared at Ruby, still keeping between her and Lewis. “And how do we know we can trust you?” 

“You cant, but…” Ruby sighed, gently reaching for the sword at her hip as her words lingered. “All I want to do is get home. And the sooner I can find a way home, the better I’ll fear.”

“And how does this… Curious Cat fit into this?” 

Ruby smiled a bit and looked towards the tree at the center of the Ever After. “They’ll be able to get us to the tree.” 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruby sighed as she continued to travel alone through the Ever After, long having given up searching for Alyx and Lewis. It had been years since she was poisoned, years since they left with the Curious Cat, years since she had seen another human, ready to give up trying to find anyone that she knew. She wasnt sure anymore that Blake and Yang ended up in the same place as her, and after years of searching for a way out, she no longer believed the tree was that, instead just a place to go to die. 

“They’re not coming, you know.” 

Ruby sighed as she watched the Curious Cat appear beside her out of the corner of her eye. “They’ll show. I dont know how long it’ll take, but I know they’ll come.” 

“And how long have you waited?” the Curious Cat asked as they walked in front of Ruby. “Lewis and Alyx managed to make their way home to Remnant, leaving you behind. I’m sure if your friends made it here, they would’ve left-” 

“They wouldnt leave me!” Ruby growled at the Cat. “When they come, I’ll find them and then we’ll all get to go home to Remnant.” 

The Cat grinned for a moment as it walked out of Ruby’s way. “Are you sure they wouldnt leave you? The Ever After is a vast world after all, and I’m sure that they’d find a way back to Remnant before finding you.” 

Ruby started to walk again, trying to leave the Curious Cat behind. Though, she had to admit, the thought of her friends getting here and leaving without her was on her mind. She hadnt exactly been sitting in one place, and she hadnt exactly heard about anyone like her walking through any of the other acres. “They’d… they’d find me before leaving. I know they would.” 

“And how can you be sure of that?” 

“Because I know them!” 

“Then you might be interested to know that there’s four others walking around without you,” the Curious Cat said as they walked by Ruby’s side. “And last I heard, they were making their way through the King’s Acre” 

Ruby paused in her step for a moment. “What do they look like?” 

“A boy and girl with blonde hair, a girl with white hair, and a girl with cat ears.” 

Jaune, Yang, Weiss, and Blake. Ruby took a few breaths to try to calm herself, squeezing the hilt of the blade on her hip. She knew Blake and Yang had fallen, but Weiss and Jaune… if they had fallen and Penny wasnt with them, then that meant-

Ruby shook her head and started to walk, trying to push the thought of her mind. “I need to get to them.” 

“I could take you-” 

“I dont need your help!” 

The Curious Cat started to walk with Ruby again, grinning as his front half started to move ahead of her. “And you think you can get to the King’s Acre all on your own? Well, you might be able to eventually, but then they’ll be gone and you’ll have to try to find them again.” 

Ruby sighed and put on her helmet as she continued to walk forward. “Fine. Help me get to them and then you leave us alone.” 

The Curious Cat smiled at her just as they started to disappear. “Then we better get you to them.” 

[coconutredbulllover]

Eri so are we at a consensus that literally nobody knows what they’re talking about or am I behind on slang repertoire

im assuming you mean like people on tumblr dont know what theyre talking abt? if im wrong lmk so i can fix my yap below LOL

its kind of hard to type it to explain but ill try

well the way id put it is many people do know what theyre talking abt its just not everyone who reads what they write knows the backstory or whats Fact vs Assumed so like a person whos been in the loop longer could say something and a newcomer could see it and take it as a fact because it was said by someones whos not as new then maybe start their own blog with like half baked info that they dont completely know abt but think they do.

to find the difference between those two types of blogs id recommend either trying to politely ask or just scrolling to see how long the blogs been established for. idk some ppl r trying to keep closer wraps on their blogs so it’s definitely harder now to just scroll down.

to say nobody knows ‘what they’re talking about’ is a little vague because there are certain situations where even tho they havent came out and explicitly said it themselves and put it on blast like that people who look close enough know the truth for example like which players have a bf or gf but are ‘private but not a secret’ those relationships arent js an educated speculated guess there really are members on the team who are locked in but just keep it on the dl and dont openly post abt their partners 😭 (can u guys see how hard it it to explain that w/o name dropping? LMFAO i feel like certain ones i could bc theyre more open but i never know how safe to be 🥲)

so yeah there are stuff that arent ‘confirmed’ but are fact but theres also some stuff that people speculated and somehow alot of ppl began accepting as the truth which is where it becomes fuzzy

so like for example once upon a time on a blog many months ago there was an anon on a blog who claimed to be a uconn student and would talk about the wbb team (i also think i remember that the person who ran the blog said they had seen proof from the anon in private messages but never publically shared it for privacy reason so to all other readers youd never know for sure). theres a few takeaways from this 1. its a random person (again, other from maybe the blog owner no one got any proof this person went to uconn) 2. even with proof this person was a uconn student how woudl you fact check any thing they claim to know/see?

so basically (this is not the full story for the sake of the example this is a rundown) the uconn anon claimed paige had a hoe phase in her freshman year and even though many people had the foresight to not trust random info it did get brought up in a bunch of blogs as like ‘well if its true this is where it COULD fit into the timeline’ but like i mentioned before new fans or people who hadnt seen the original post dont have the full context so when blog owners joke about or try to just consider it as a hypothetical event people dont know its a joke or that it’s hypothetical yfm??

so to put it shortly yes the majority of people on here (at the very least the popular blogs)(i say the popular ones bc one of the reasons they have bigger fanbases is from having been an established blog for longer) know what theyre talking abt BUT if you were not there when the info came out take everything you hear about an event that happened in the past with a grain of salt because u are more likely to be missing part of the story than to not be.

[vespersbelladonnakiss]

Asking about Vesper

HOLY SHIT OKAY OKAY WE’VE BEEN PREPARING FOR THIS MOMENT GUYS

idk what you wanna know exactly but general thing, they’re a stupid little thief who annoys a lot of people. they were born on a day. their parents were cringe but they had a sister named vee who they basically raised. when they were 16 they ran away to build a life away from their shitty parenrs for them and vee. they came back for vee and she died :((( this is very sad because she is actually a blorbo of time. (technically vesper never found the body but years past and they could never find her so they assumed dead) anywyad flash forward to 20 year old vesper. they recieve a job offer from yhis powerful rich magic lady. she wants them, and four others, to investigate some murders of magic users and this is where the campaign began (they are from a d&d game i realise i neglected to mention this)

this shithead went from silly goofy fucker to traumatised as shit real fucken fast, and this does not include backstory stuff, though it was a tad influenced by that. after causing the death of the dm’s npc he sent to make sure we dont fuck up because they wanted to (reads notes scrawled on the palm of my hand) impress the party who had seen them as only this thief bastard who can never do anything tood becayse they’re a thief, they continued an almosy forgotten hobby of theirs where they blame themself for everythint bad that happens around them. and some times, its even justified!

they proceeded to find the hilt of the long dead goddess of justice and began hearing her voice in their head. she was nice and tyen she started asking vesper to do stuff for her, which they thought they would be able to do on their own because they qanted to impress her. but unfortunately, they could not figure oit what the fuck she meant because shes a cryptic bitch and i hadnt yet started taking notes so she was like “vesper, tell these other buffoons what i just told u” and they were like “nonono gimme a sec i can figure this out” and then she 1d10 psychic damage. after freeing her from her prison within the god of murder’s sword and watching her kill said god, the rest of the group decided to. betray her. with amazing timing, as you can see. vesper, however, did not, and spied on the party for her.

not only did this sneaky little rat bastard spy though, they also caused (sparkles) general discord (sparkles) and may have convinced the party that one of its members was going insane. which they later found out was true. vesper, despite their continued alegance to evil justice girlboss- i mean very nice lady, tried to convince another party member, who had been communicating with the dead murder god, to not go down the same path they did, and did go to. lengths. to try to stop this.

one of the things they did however resulted in their stupid ass reviving evil murder god asshole. though they were commanded not to kill the party, edgy mc my chemical romance WAS permitted to torture the group. while they did this, they killed the bard’s mom and cut off embodied teenage angst (the one who was communicating with murder bitch)’s arm off. god of murder and child soldiers gave vesper some torture that was very enjoyable for me by: breaking their fingers, to stop them from stealing; cutting out their tongue, to stop them from lying; telling one of previously mentioned child soldiers to kill their GUESS WHAT alive sister, wowie who coulda guessed, and serve her head to vesper on a silver platter. greatest breaker of the geneva convention and hater of all also decided to mention to the group what vesper had done for american justice syst- i mean, very nice justice lady, causing three out of four party members to turn against them. vesper also recieved a message from the goddess of justice saying that they had FUCKED UP!!! and weren’t considered by her one of her followers anymore. BUT butbutbutbut she also said if vesper um remained loyal then she would reward them so obviously it’s worth it yeah :)

after being healed by the resident soundcloud rapper with cleric spells she somehow managed to get (i know how, but this isnt fucking about her is it), vesper was (more sparkles) fucked up mentally! sparkle sparkle end sparkle. we got sent by shadow in a girlboss’s body to go help out a vampire lady in overthrowing her mom, which is fine cuz we fucking hate her mom! vesper tried to drown their sorrows in alcohol (more sparkles) but was stopped by youtube cover artist, who insisted that learning an instrument would be better than alcoholism. also the party members who hate them like stole the alcohol and shit and wouldnt give any to vesper. so vesper decided to take her up on her offer

and that’s what’s happened so far. very shortened. and missing my character analysis essays. i realised i wasnt using any characters’ names at one point and just decided to roll with that i hope it’s still readsble

also funny vesper fact: i stole their name from a nonbinary name website BUT i think the othrr meanings apply just a little as a treat. first off!!! vesper comes from latin and means evening, which is perfect for this sneaky little rat. the other thing is the meaning of vesper that is evening prayers for catholics i think. they literally got religious trauma’d by a bitch goddess of justice and are like so fucked uoa bout it.

[half-doomed]

HELLVETICA DAY 1 - AUSTIN

- we got to the venue at 2ish and set up camp

- we were around the 21st in line (dont remember exact #s but it was low 20s because somebody else had started a numbering system)

- we met somebody who we played uno with but we didnt really talk to too many other people that day other than to give the people in front of us an umbrella

- we ended up at the barricade to the far left of the stage

- savannah conley was funny and has a great voice but i wasnt super into her music (I tried listening to her set beforehand but i didnt rly like the vibe)

- joywave was incredible live and daniel has a great stage presence. Their set was so high energy right from the start to the very end

- during tongues dan pointed the mic at somebody in the crowd who shouted the line and his face was priceless (pretty sure this is a fan inside joke but I'm not the expert on them)

- their visuals were also on point

- idkhow time!!!! Their visuals were also super cute and everyone looked like they were having a great time

- lights go down and heaven is a place on earth were not on the set ):

- BUT someone gave dallon a trans flag ((:

- during jw's set dan told us to cheer as loud as possible when dallon did his bit at the end about forgoing the crowd chanting for encore and playing peekaboo so when we heard the word peekaboo the crowd went insane. It was very funny and dallon thought so too

- dan did his own verse for nltob, it was very funny. I had avoided the videos of it til that point

- after the show, we met daniel who had seen my tour bingo card on twitter so he took the card and checked off everything that had happened on tour so far. He also signed the card and tour poster i made

- I almost argued with him about one of the things he checked off because i forgot that a letter is technically an unreleased idkhow song 🤦🏽‍♀️

- I asked him if clibbus could open for dallas and he called beef over who said he would for $3000 but unfortunately he has a job to do so the answer was no 😔

- I also forgot to get a picture with dan bc i blanked but he was wearing an HHM shirt

- then anthony came out and i gave him the gift i made him and he talked about some gross strawberry water he had earlier that day

- he also commented on how me and my friend had matching strawberry shirts but it actually wasnt planned lol

- Ryan had run off as soon as we had gotten to the buses and anthony said he hadnt seen him since he got off stage

- he had said he would get the other guys their gifts but then dallon came out so i asked if i could give him his and he jokingly was like "you dont trust me?"

- dallon was very sweet, he was on vocal rest so couldnt talk but i gave him his gift and his appreciation was very clear through what i could see from his face (he was masked) and body language

- I'm an idiot and didnt even take pics of the completed gifts but trust me they were cute and when he heard how long they took to make his eye went wide (this is bc i only decided to make gifts after tour started and i saw they were meeting fans lol)

- I asked him to write out a lyric for a tattoo and told him that i've been a fan since basically the brobecks days and he made a motion like when i was little which i thought was rly cute

- he also wanted me to wait and think on it for a year before i got the tattoo

- he was incredibly nice and i forgot to ask him for a pic with his gift bc i was frazzled but i did get him to also sign the bingo card/poster

HELLVETICA DAY 2 - SAN ANTONIO

- We got there around 2 again but this time we started talking to more people and made a few friends including some people i knew from the jw discord server and one of my twitter mutuals

- The time went by much quicker when we had started making friends

- We saw ryan and anthony walking across the street at some point and they waved. I'm pretty sure anthony recognized some of us

- I wore glitter dots for this show and then right before doors I got sweat, makeup, dirt, and who knows what else in my eye so i went to the bar next door to use their bathroom and had to rush out bc they started letting ppl in

- We ended up barricade again on the right side this time

- Savannah's outfit was cute, and her music had started to grow on me at this point

- Joywave usually has a car on stage with car wash outfit/uniforms but the stage was too small so they instead played some older stuff from content which was a really special set just for us <3

‐ They also had everyone tweet about them being the best punk show that had ever played the venue

- Also this venue does not have a physical barricade and so we were pressed right up against the stage to the point where my friend got dan's sweat on her

- Overall a very fun silly intimate vibe

- Dan said this was the smallest venue on the tour and we'd be able to reach out to touch dallon's toothpick legs and he ran out on stage to whisper in his ear

- !!! He was in the shorts !!!

- During sound check i asked val if he got his gift and he said it was above his bunker 😭💖 i almost asked him or eddie if they could give me a setlist but didnt wanna bother them while they were working. We also kept making awkward eye contact with beefus lol

- During idkhow's set anthony recognized us and gave us picks (:

- He was also wearing glitter! <3

- I'm pretty sure dallon heard us chanting die die die during choke bc he kept smiling in our direction

- When he said peekaboo a lot of us that were at the previous show cheered

- It was a very intimate show and not just bc dallon was showing off his legs lol

- Dallon was a lot more talkative and silly at this show!! He poked fun at guitar players and anthony's face was great

- Since lgd (and heaven is a place on earth btw) was back on the set he introduced it as they were playing an older song that was on the EP (he misremembered but none of us caught it til we were talking to him in dallas the next day) (more on this later)

- We also brought roses for both bands which will also be important later ! Some beautiful and iconic pictures came out of that, you can thank my roommate and i for getting dallon those flowers <3

- We didnt wait after the show to meet them bc we had a long drive the next day but we should have bc ryan was meeting people 😭

HELLVETICA DAY 3 - DALLAS

- We left late, then got stuck in rly bad traffic on the way in but dallon had a twitter q&a at that time so it made it just slightly more bearable

- We ended up getting there at like 5:30ish, about 30 mins til doors

- We actually still ended up 3rd row back from barriers and saw all our friends we made from the previous day (:

- Savannah's set was very enjoyable and her cousin and some other people were there

- Many ppl from the jw server were there so we went rly hard for their set and made plans to take a group photo with dan after the show

- I cant even remember much about jw's set bc i was going so hard but it was extremely fun. 3 nights in a row seeing them and i was still blown away each time

- We sat down in between sets bc we were all tired as hell and a lot of ppl joined us. I told them dallon would be very supportive of sitting in between sets. Everyone around us was very friendly <3

- Dallon was extremely silly during this show! The vibes were immaculate

- I'm actually gonna skip straight past the show bc i wanna talk about meeting them afterwards and I'm fighting for my life to stay awake rn

- We finally got to meet ryan!! I forgot to take a picture with him but my roomate got to talk with him and i got my cds and poster/card signed. I'm pretty sure he and paul got high after the show bc he completely misheard what i said when i asked if he got my cross stitching gift lol but we were both pretty out of it

- Like it literally took me 5 mins to realize dallon was standing near us bc i was busy talking to daniel

- I brought a the hoodies cd and he told dallon that that was his brobecks and that he would've hated them bc they were emo lol

- He signed my roommate's razzmatazz cd (lol) and i introduced him to my friend who shares his name

- I told him about how a lot of us from the server were there and he agreed to get a group pic with everyone

- Paul came out at some point completely zooted but i didnt get to talk to him bc i thought he was busy meeting other fans but he signed my roommate's hot dog bucket hat (we all had bought matching hats and dan was given one as well for the group photo)

- Dallon signed my pick that i got from anthony bc i didnt get a chance to talk to him again ):

- I did finally get a solo pic with dallon and he wasnt on vocal rest anymore so he stayed for a pretty long time to chat with everyone which was very sweet

- I did have a slightly personal question for him but i completely blanked and freaked out a tiny bit and he told me to wait a few minutes and it finally came back to me. I had wanted to ask him if he ever got my rose/gift card/letter in houston back in february. He said he didnt remember but that if he did it was probably in his house with the other letters he's gotten. He was very reassuring that he remembered faces and that having adhd made it hard to remember names but he always remembered faces. I said smth along the lines of it's great that he's learning more about himself since his diagnosis. Then he told me that he really appreciated the flowers (the ones from san antonio were in the tour bus) and that he enjoyed my presence and i didnt know what to say to that. I dont really know what happened immediately after that because that kind of a compliment coming from him completely scrambled my brain.

- He also talked about how he screwed up the lgd intro again in dallas and my friend mentioned that she thought he was introducing absinthe and that they should put it back on the setlist and he agreed. He talked about how lgd was supposed to be on the ep but they flipped a coin and got diatt i think instead

- He also told us that he was very excired about the idea for the new album and that it just needed to get recorded but he wouldnt give us any hints about the title or anything

- All my friends i had made at the previous show were there as well and we had a group pic taken with him. It was all so special and it was genuinely one of the best weekends of my life and I'm so sad that it's over 💔

And if you read this far thank you and I'm sorry

[fatphobiabusters]

hi id first just like to ask if you could please answer this anonymously as im uncomfortable with this being answering with my username/account attached. that being said something happened today that id really appreciate some advice on if you can give me any and also need to vent about. 

basically, im a fat 17 year old with PCOS (the most significant way its affected me (other than my weight) at least to my current knowledge is a very rare/delayed period which i have started taking medication for that has helped quite a bit although it does have side affects of affecting my mood and sleep but i only have to take them for a little over a week 3 or 4 times a year and apparently those side affects will diminish over time so its not a major issue for me) and today i had an appointment with a dietitian that my mother had set up for me (and was present for) in regards to my weight and my PCOS (although before hand i only thought was in regards to my weight) the dietitian told me that my PCOS was apparently caused by my weight (specifically saying something about how fat around my pancreas was affecting insulin production) (saying so when all she knew about me was my weight and that i had PCOS) which i was somewhat skeptical of in the moment even though i hadnt done much research on the causes of PCOS and weight and PCOS specifically i had done some if not a lot on PCOS in general and most of what i had seen described weight gain/high weight as a side affect instead of the cause (and i have does some research since i got home specifcally via the blog bigfatscience here on tumblr and based on a lot of what iv seen weight is not a cause for PCOS) but when i brought that up she just dismissed it and i didnt really feel comfortable enough to push it further at all so i didnt and in general the appointment was really really uncomfortable and embarrassing for me especially with my mother there and there was a lot of talk on my diet which i really didnt enjoy and made me very uncomfortable but in the end the dietitian told me that i should eat less high GI foods and more low GI foods instead as that would help with things like having a regular period, gave me a diagram of a plate that was half vegetables and the other half split between carbs and protein as a bases for what my diet should be, and told me that i should try to loose weight and gave me a sheet with info on weight loss. im not necessarily against the idea of trying to eat less high GI foods (although i dont know if that would be sustainable especially if it was eating a lot less high GI foods and the main reason i was give to do so other than weight loss is to help have a more regular period which i am already on medication for like a said earlier so i dont see much point in that regard but my mother said she wanted a "more permanent solution") and i am somewhat skeptical of the diagram that was given to me although i havent done much of my own research on that specifically, i have however done a lot of research on the adverse affects of dieting and deliberate weight loss, and how losing weight doesnt long term and you will just gain weight back again which is more harmful and how trying to loose weight has negative affects on physical and metal health so i really do not think i should try to loose wight but i was also told that i should try to weigh myself regularly to see if im loosing and have another appointment with the dietitian which i feel like my mother is defiantly going to try to hold me to and i know theres no point in trying to show her proof that dieting and trying to loose weight wont work because i know she wont believe it and instead will either get upset with or dismiss me in ways that will just be very hurtful for me (i have experience with this in regards to things like talking about the way she treats my autism, her homophobia, and the many hurtful ways shes treated me in the past so i know what her reaction will be and that there isnt a point in trying to reason with her) (1/2)

so essentially i will have to try to loose weight regardless (especially since my mother is very strict and has a lot of control in regards to things like this in my life) even though i know that it wont work and will just hurt me in the long run. on top of this despite doing a lot of research into things like HAES and fat activism i do still deal with a lot of internalized fatphobia especially in regards to eating and i do worry sometimes that im close to developing an eating disorder beucase i often feel guilty for eating and good about myself if i dont eat or am hungry for a while and i feel like this is really going to add to that and potentially lead to me developing more ED habits or more of an ED mindset and i do already feel like its been affecting me in that way a lot like i havent had anything to eat since the appointment even though its been a several hours and really dont want to even though i am hungry and i know this isnt healthy for me to feel and act this way but like i said i cant really avoid it that much, i know this is a really lot of information and i dont blame you if you dont have any advice for my situation but if you can give me any or even just some support i really really would appreciate it, thank you

mod squirrel: 

Well the first thing that stands out to me is that you are 17, so whatever you are being pushed into legally will end when you are 18. I know that abusive people will still try to force people to do things but that's a start. 

TBH I would demand to speak to a NUTRITIONIST over a dietician. They are the ones more likely to work on making sure you are not being starved of nutrients. Also legally at 18 she can be asked to leave the room so if she INSISTS you go to the dietician after you are 18 (say by threatening to kick you out or whatever) you can have he removed. Also it is incredibly stupid to say ANYTHING about someone's insulin without tests? if you are feeling particularly salty, report that as medical incompetence to the hospital. 

What I say next is based on the idea that you are fairly powerless and have to make the best of a bad situation: At least sticking to low glycemic foods isn't a terrible diet idea, because diabetics have to do it. You can have nutritionally balanced meals, when being pushed into a wall like this it’s critical you get enough nutrition.  

If your mom wants a more permanent solution to your PCOS she should advocate for getting your ovaries removed but given that your dietician is a moron (sarcastic surprised Pikachu face) its unlikely to be on the table. You’ll potentially see weight loss on your hormone pills, when I started mine I lost some weight. because the hormones treat the issue that is causing weight gain. Im at the point that if someone who knows what PCOS is and they still think that weight gain causes it I’m calling into question everything they know. 

You're right that it’s pointless and you are on medication that would actually effect your weight as it treats your PCOS but your moms a fucking idiot. 

Again, this is a shitty situation. Focus on your own work unlearning fatphobia. Your mom has failed you but you don’t have to fail yourself. It takes a lot of work and its a struggle and that's normal.

Im gonna be raw with you. I had a gyno appointment and she kept talking about my weight and I had the same reaction. I felt like shit and like I didn’t deserve to eat. You can be doing advocacy and know the truth inside and out and it can still punch you in the face. Then I got angry. Anger gives me energy over depression freezing me in a loop of self hate. I ate food because she’s a fucking CLOWN. btw i find it extremely irresponsible for any doctor other than my primary doctor to talk about my weight let alone ask I cut something from my diet. So called medical professionals need to learn to stay in their fucking lanes. So I can say if I'm not there with you, we are down the street from each other. If you need to I say, eat out spite. If thats what it takes to make sure you arent skipping meals. 

As far as weighing yourself goes, mention how each scale is different so its best to only be weighed at the doctors. maybe that’ll trick her into leaving that part out. 

In the end this is indeed a shitty ass situation and I would focus on nutrition. Your mom can think its for weight loss but there's no guarantee it will happen period. 

When you turn 18 things are going to be in flux so hang in there. I'm somewhat at a loss because as far as I can see its make the best of a bad situation. If other mods or followers have advice please share. 

[stealingbones]

can i just,, rant about south park? (spoiler warning obv)

I never thought id be into basic american adult tv buthere we are- I recently got into it, feb 19th i started watching and finished the whole 26 seasons and two games (sot and tfbw) in a month. Just finished tfbw game earlier today and almost lost my mind fr bc wth man.... anyway, theres your background for how mentally ill i am, now-

South park characters have so much detail in their characters, right down to the little things, like cartman having to finish singing sail away or kenny liking oragami, like??? i love the little character details that nobody thinks about hello??

Its so hard to take them seriously with that stupid artstyle (the artstyle has grown on me and i love it sm but still, theyre hella goofy) but seriously some parts cut deep- especially the whole fucking covid thing, never in my life did i think id cry at fUCKING SOUTH PARK ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I see a lot of angst and it actually makes sense??? And just,, a lot of stan's stuff is really depressing, i hate the episode(s) 'youre getting older' holy fuck. The fact that stan knows how to drive at 8 years old most likely because his dad is an alcoholic who drives drunk too is graaAAA,, I feel so bad for butters too, the innocent child who gets all the trauma dumped on him 💀 none of the kids in south park are safe from trauma, not even 'new kid' (they fr made you choose a parent, dude.....) one of my favorite serious moments though actually is when kenny tries to get them to remember his deaths, the like "TRY AND FUCKING REMEMBER." is so dramatic and im fbedhunfinjecnijef

also cartman being the only one to remember kenny's deaths waa,, Cartmanland he says 'what kenny? he dies all the time' and when kenny tries to make the others remember,, cartman isnt there so á, then cartman isnt shocked when kenny escapes wherever tf cthuhlu sent everyone. cartman did drink kenny's ashes so that could be the reason he remembers epic

also also, i didnt even think about it before until i seen just kenny and kyle at the bus stop, but stan and cartman moving away and just having two of the main four left at the iconic bus stop scene is so upsetting,, I enjoy the older seasons best 💔 Like season 10 and earlier man,, their early seson voices too omg <3 When they started doing season long stories was kind of annoying (edit bc new episode dropped, they put cartman back lmao,, still missing stan though man...)

Switching topics- No wonder style is more popular than stendy, it has more content than stendy even though theyre cannon dating 💀i think cartman and wendy interaction more actually. Wendy's kind of cool and i wish theyd make an effort to show her and stan together more often (even small things like they do with creek) and a few times its even shown how little stan cares, like with the texting thing or the time they broke up for a bit stan had said he hadnt talked to her for weeks... Stan doesnt deserve wendy tbh, i also always forget she killed someone for stan lol, they really dialed her crazy back,,

I probably have more random thoughts but these are the main ones,, the little guys have been doing laps around my brain for a month straight and i feel like im going to explode

[heart-aflame]

growing pain

So this was actually a story concept that came out of an idea that popped in my head. This would be a Toonjuice story, instead of musical like I usually have done.

The basic idea was that the Neitherworld is... like that, because Lydia as a living person, and also a 12 year old, has a certain amount of sway in how it looks. She doesnt understand death all that much, so she assumes it acts like the living world except everyone is dead. Things look weird but theres still a lot of fun chances for adventure because of her. The Neitherworld, and its magic, likes her.

It never changes fully though, not really, so while she's growing older everything there, including the people and how they interact, stays the same. The dead cant change and grow like a living girl can.

The story actually is about when she is 16 or 17, and she's forgotten that the neitherworld was a real thing, since she went less and less as school and the living world got more busy for her. To the point she believes its an imaginary place, and doesnt remember Toonjuice's name at all beyond being bug related.

It was an imaginary world, with her imaginary friend, and no one else ever brought it up or talked about it with her, so thats what she believed, and thought she had outgrown it.

Until graduation, when her mother asks about Betty and shows her a photo of who she'd believed wasnt real, and she sees someone she hadnt seen in the mirror for a long time, who she had made herself believe shed made up to help with the loneliness of moving to a new home.

Obviously itd be a bit of a sad fic, especially because shes still older and busy with things, and beej himself hasnt changed much in terms of the stuff he does, so it isnt like theyd get back to doing what they used to do when she was younger, so theyd have to adjust now that Lydia sees the imaginary place she had abandoned, and her friends, were actually real.

Thats why its called Growing Pain

[minilpark]

Is this the third time requesting you in the same day? Yes. Do i regret it? No.

I have 2 requests

1- when they met. Im gonna give you total creative wisdom here because i honestly dont know what i want. If you want you can rewrite another meet cute you wrote for another character and kinda modify it to coyote.

2- in this story, coyote was raised by his grandparents and had a sister 3 years older than him. You met 10 years ago, became a couple 7 years ago and finally got married 5 years ago. neither of you wanted an actual wedding so the “wedding” was something private only the 2 of you, you hadnt met his grandparents because they lived across the vountfy from the base both of you worked at. Finally got a chance to fly and go meet them.

(Also his sister {Lets call her Salma} and you already met and her as the proud sister she is, tried everything in her power to embarrase javy by showing you baby pictures of him and stuff)

Thank you for helping me on my JAVY COYOTE MACHADO WORLD DOMINATION!!!

hey, im glad you trust me enough with your coyote requests! i'm gonna work on the first one, taking it as a bit of civilian!reader stance this time, but for the second one, imma direct you to this post for a bit of my hcs about the family dynamics you have with his family instead! i think you should give that second request to someone who is more experienced in writing an actual story than me lmao-

javy was finally able to catch some r&r for a while so he decided to visit home

its been a long while since he's seen his family so he figured it was time for a visit

so he left the base in virginia and headed home

home for him was high point, nc

a somewhat big town with a good amount of things to do

once he was all settled again he decided to take his dog, jagger, to the local park to get some quality time with his boy

little did he know he'd meet you at the park that day as well

you were laying on a picnic blanket under one of the trees to hide from the sun while reading a book recommended to you by a friend

half way through the chapter, you felt something hit your leg

and when you sat up to look down at the object, you realised it was a foam football and a cute lil pit was running towards you for it

so you sat the book down while the pup ran/basically fell into your lap trying to get the ball

and were promptly attacked with kisses from this random dog

until you heard a man calling out a name, which you presumed to be the pit's, while running up to your blanket

"oh my god i am so sorry about jagger-"

you just take a second to scratch behind the cute pup's ear and shake your head

"aw don't worry about it, he's such a cute lil guy anyways-"

after giving him a bit of love you stood up, dusted yourself off and held out a hand

"my name's y/n. what's yours, stranger?"

he just smiles and firmly shakes your hand back

"i'm javy, it's nice to meet you"

you nod your head meaning likewise and offer the man to sit with you to which he gratefully accepts

i mean how could he not, a person who got along with his dog immediately, and was as attractive as you were? he had to know more

and so that led to you both getting to know each other, basically playing a game of 20(+) questions

you learned he was here to visit his family and that he was a naval aviator which seemed really cool from all the dumb stories he told you (all of course he was allowed to share), you also learned he liked jazz and rnb, he appreciated movies a bit more than books, and his favourite number was 7 among other things you talked about

he learned that you moved to the area not long after he left for the navy, you adored music, and that you had a passion for (insert your hobbies here)

long story short, you two talked until the sun started to set

and that's when you decided you'd like to see more of javy, so you gave him your number, gave his dog a few ear scratches before packing your stuff away in your car to drive home

he didn't leave that long after

and he didn't wait to text you that long either

which led to yall hanging out frequently over the course of his visit home

it really was a relationship in the making-

[mcl38]

why did i think u were british this whole time. i just now noticed the romanian and i have been following u for an embarrassingly long time. omg i'm so sorry.

i was going to ask u if the UK is really this puritanical bc like. i was raised by some right-wingers who taught me that if i even danced with someone i was not married to, i would spend eternity burning in hell, and i still couldn't rlly bring myself to care abt a guy in his mid-20s making sex jokes enough to be offended abt it. but i mean u are not british so that doesn't matter now.

this also begs the question why are ppl getting moral/life advice from multimillionaires. like if lando gets a STD, he just goes and gets treatment. if an american gets a STD, they go bankrupt. u rlly have to put how promiscuous u can be in perspective of ur circumstances unless u want gangrenous genitals from chlamydia. also like if ur george russell or lance stroll or max verstappen or— and u physically harm someone, all u have to do is issue an apology. if ur quite literally a normal person, ur going to jail for that shit like u cannot behave like a multimillionaire under any circumstances unless u are also a multimillionaire bc one of three things will happen: 1) jail, 2) bankruptcy, 3) the end.

sorry for making u read my incoherent thoughts again but i know u appreciate a good landogate. i just don't really get this one. like wow local man in his twenties cracks nsfw jokes w his friends and experiences horniness. did these people never become traumatized by omegle. bc this isn't abnormal behavior for a man in his 20s spotted in the wild online. it's actually quite tame.

hi anon! so like first off ur not entirely wrong abt the british thing - i am romanian but ive been living in the uk for like 4 years now, u mightve seen a reference to that and assumed i was english. but bc ive been living there for a while i can quite confidently say that no, english people are not generally puritanical at all, much less than in america anyways. maybe theres more value put on decorum and politeness but i generally associate religiously-fuelled prudishness with american protestantism lmao. anyways

my thing is ive just come back from a vacation where i had no roaming so i genuinely have no idea whether ive missed smth major lmao. from what i could tell the thing ur talking abt is lando making dirty jokes on stream and ppl allegedly getting upset at that (??) which unless thats all been happening on twitter and i just havent seen it bc i deleted the app (god bless) (likely), the whole 'drama' seems to stem from one clickbait article by a clickbait sports news publication that seems to b based in india rather than the uk. was this abt the way landos (british) friends responded to him on stream? bc from what i could tell they were also participating in the moaning and calling themselves daddy activities. otherwise like what predominantly british public did u see upset? its quite odd as a thing to happen

not saying this isnt a pattern w lando tho - back in 2020 idk if u were around but if u were, u should rmbr how dire the situation was. basically anyone who'd make a sex joke around lando was essentially corrupting god's most darlingest little baby boy, how dare they. theres a certain amount of infantilisation around lando that thank god isnt happening as much anymore but maybe its reared its ugly head again. or, if ppl r getting mad at him for Corrupting His Audience (if theyre getting mad at all - again ive only seen ppl saying it was totally fine and funny), then this just represents his full flip into the whore part of the madonna whore dichotomy. the same reason miley cyrus twerking at the 2013 vmas wouldve been so much more scandalous than another female singer that hadnt previously had a child-friendly teen star image.

i dont rly know how to address the whole life advice paragraph - i rly dont think lando talking abt a girl character in fortnite shooting cream out of her palms or propellers or smth is exactly life advice. lando specifically has quite a complicated relationship w his position as a role model and he often worries abt the 'advice' he gives ppl - smth thats also like, true, hes a v sheltered 23 year old who lacks a lot of normal life experiences bc his professional career basically started around age 7. idrk what to say abt the whole std thing bc like not only have i not heard lando talk actual details abt his potential promiscuity beyond a couple vague jokes, but also bc ive never had to think abt going into debt over chlamydia doamne pazeste. also like idk if i push someone nothing happens but if max verstappen does it on an international broadcast he has to do community service for it so 🤷🏻‍♀️ u win some u lose some. not rly sure of the point u wanted to make if im totally frank lol

tldr like yeah f1 drivers r mainly irresponsible athletes in an extreme sport and u shouldnt model ur life after them. but also op ur life sounds terrifying like 'jail / bankrupcy / the end' sounds like either the way US capitalism works (big up the prison industrial complex) or oscar wilde's new years resolutions in january 1895 lmao

[hauntedotherworld]

i think i can say now.

today was crazy.. so i went in a church with my mum to show her the inside (not a service) and when we were in there, it was just us and it was so silent. there was some candles and a sign that said light one andmake a prayer, so my mum did that. after that i felt really weird for some reason and i wanted to go, so we were about o but my mum was still looking at the statues and then i heard giggling that was closeby. i thought some kids r here i guess.. or possibly a ghost, no probably kids, so as we went out the door to leave right there, in the doorway were 3 girls. then my mum loojed at them and they looked and we stopped and my mum said oh wow what are you doing here? so i was confused, because i didnt recognize the faces, i wo dered if they were her friends daughters from church or something.. then i see their faces and then i realize as i stare at them who they were. THE 'evil' girl and her sister (and the other girl must've been a friend) i was SHOCKED. i didnt recognize them for a while as i hadnt seen them since 2016. i was just shocked.. all i could do is stare at the one who was looking right atme for a long 5 seconds before tyrnung and just walking off to leave as they pushed eachother down the hill and laughed i just was fkng shocked. shes the girl i spent my entire childhood with and i hated every second because shed make me do any thing she said, she whispered in my ear every word i had to respond to anyone with, i was basically her puppet who did exactly what she wanted me to do for her and she tortured me multiple times aswell. (along with her cats and little children..) i hid how i felt to her of course but i had panic attacks on the way to her house then id have to pretend to be her friend and happy to see her.. anyway i havent seen her in YEARS because i finally wasnt young enough to be forced physically by my mum to be with her,

since then i have not seen them at all and i avoid them at all costs. so today that crazy thing that they were RIGHT there and saw eachother after all this time. it was so wejrd seeing them as young qdults not the kids we were anymore,, my body just froze i said nothing at all. they didnt either tbf i think we were all surprised.. i hated that.. it was so uncomfortable and borderline creepy

and i got so upset because of the fact evwn SHE has a 'normal' life. friends, loads of layghter and hapiness.. i have none of that. everyones moved on and living normal happy lives EXCEPT ME. it fkng sucks!! i feel frozen as a child/preteen, i am still not living any normal life and i just stay in my room all week, except the weekends, i have NO friends whatsoever anymore because they all abandoned me (they even still talk to eachother..) for some reason. maybe cyz they never truly cared and i was too unstable for them. it makes me so upset. the memories and just seeing everyone from my past, gone and livinv a happy life while i suffer and breakdown almost every single day. i feel like i am dead and an alien because i am just so different from them im miserable and i have not moved on and live a normal life. i wsnt to die it hurts me so much to see her having a good life now

[evil-wakes-in-vengeance]

Don't reply to this. I told you I'm rebuilding my life. I've got every confidence in myself, but thank you nonetheless. The thing that stings about it all is that you have nothing to say after months of not talking. Not that you have to say anything, that's your prerogative, I'm just genuinely surprised by it. It's good to know I was just a temporary filler for your loneliness at the time. Don't repeat the same mistake. I definitely won't be.

right this is the last time I am fucking replying to you and I'm going to break it down as simple as possible, I let you , ash , into my life, when I wasn't even ready but i decided to give it all a chance again after 4 years of toxicity with will. it started horrible and I should have seen the flags , one example would be the day you said you loved me and you decided to make me feel bad for not returning the notion, which guilt tripped the shit out of me, the next thing I knew you where slowly moving your stuff in doing in slowly almost as though I wouldnt notice, and I very clearly wasnt ready for that step I allowed it on the false pretention you would get a job , which you never did, to which I then got a second job , because I could not afford you myself and luna off of part time cleaning. Which i required you to watch my child for , which was met with me being some sort of "hoe" at work because I wanted to fuck everyoe or everyone me , and that was the same everywhere i went I couldnt even go in a shop without you sulking about a guy i had apperntly looked at, it was absurd , i couldn't do the one thing I enjoyed which was my motorbike meets because you made it fucking hell in regaurds to of course men, I was made to feel unloyal trapped and quiet frankly like i didnt exist because all you ever spoke about was yourself, i basically became your therapist even though you where slowly chocking the shit out of me, and my daughter of which you found hilariouse to bully and put down, calling her names as a joke the same as you did me and even calling her drawings bad just being outright horrible for your own entertainment , you wanted sex on demaned regaurdless off how i felt and if i said no i would yet again be met with a guilt trip to where i was left feeling misreable but as long you got what you wanted it didn't matter, you ironically would sit in my bed scrolling threw nudes off woman and even commenting on photos thinking i wasnt aware and you even messaged some girl attempting to meet , but I was the one being accused off god knows what even though id never looked anywhere else or anything of the sort. you just toke from me ash, you free loaded off my food my internet my tobocco everything, sat on your xbox most nights until fuck knows when and slept all day and would expect a pat on the back when you did something nice, yeh we went for some cycle rides we had some nice memories together but all of the nice shit with sobotaged by all of the above, the last straw was when I spoke to that black guy at central bar and I was accused of wanting BBD ect to the point the guy walked us back as he was concerned about me with your behaviour to which ended up with me finally fighting back and loosing my shit with you which resulted in you loobing my furniture across the room. so i kicked you out off my house and called the police, and from months on from there you sent me thousand and thousands of messages , you even sent me pictures of girls naked telling how much better they where than me, as if you hadnt already done a number on my confidence with comments i cant even put on the internet because theyre so disguisting like that one becky wanted to punch you in the face for (my god i wish she had!) , then at some point you broke into my fucking house , it toke the police months to catch your arse and theyre still processing all the evidence now and it still has to go to court, yet here the fuck you are with a restraining order against you messaging me , you currently have two fake accounts to stalk my instagram and fuck knows what else you stalk it seems my tumblr also of course! your obsessed , with what i dont even know because to be quiet fucking brutally honest with you i totally fucking hate you. you made me feel more alone than actually being alone has ever ever made me feel, and thanks to you im now absoloutly fucking terrified to let anyone near not just me but my child ! because i never want some cunt to treat her like you did ! you..are..vile.

[idiotwhotalkstoomuch]

I never expected you guys to like demon Senjuro so much lol I’m really happy to see that like it was such a random impulse thought but the au has a lot of room for growth

In this post Im gonna establish a few things about what happened to Senjuro and Kyojuro in the events between Senjuro’s “death” and the pillar meeting. I will only cover their relationship and a little bit of Senjuro’s relationship with Tanjiro. The others can come at a different post cause this post is gonna be long lol so I put it under cut cause no one really wants a post to flood their dash

TW: Mentions of death (some are children), mentions of cannibalism (If you’ve seen even the first episode of demon slayer and had no problem, you’re fine with this post. This post is slightly not anime only friendly as I make references to an upper moon and I show a manga only panel as of posting this) Shnjuro gets really depressed but luckily there is no attempted suicide

Senjuro Rengoku

- His class was at the bottom floor and they were cleaning the school (I heard thats a thing in Japan if someone has a better idea on what they’re doing feel free to shoot an ask) when they got attacked

- In canon we dont know his age but I’m gonna guess like 12-14 but in the au he is 13 so he was 12 when he became a demon. A rogue demon attacked Senjuro’s class and Senjuro ran to get help and was fatally injured but still managed run to get help as he was given a nichirin sword and even if it didnt change color he must have known breathing techniques at the very least on a basic level and the demon was too preoccupied with some of the teachers and others trying to kill the demon, of course unaware of what it was except for Senjuro

- Upper moon 4 was sneaking around when he saw the all but dead body of Senjuro and demons really dont have standards for turning people into demons so when he noticed he was alive, turned him into a demon mostly so that if he did find any “evil people” (demon slayers) he could use him as his meat shield alongside his personalities

- When Senjuro woke up as a demon (cause even if he was a breath user he was very inexperienced so Hantengu had no problem making him a demon), he had no memory of his life as a human and looked around trying to find a human to satiate his hunger and saw a human in the distance with someone and began to run to them to satiate his hunger when he felt himself being held back. 

- The spirit of Ruka Rengoku gently held her son back and instructed him to not eat humans as that’s not something he should do and even if Senjuro couldn’t recognize the woman holding him back, he found himself obeying her and running to go to a place to hide from the sun

- From that moment on for a few day he would hop from place to place whether underneath homes, in caves or any place he could find to avoid being seen and to be shielded from the sun and found himself growing sleepy so in the cave he hid in, far away from the place he was last in, he closed his eyes and fell asleep for a year

- When he woke up, he had unwittingly burnt away Muzan’s control of him and was unsure on what to do when Ruka’s spirit appeared again telling him that he needs to find his way home. Senjuro wasn’t actually listening to a lot of what she said except one thing stuck to him. 

- “Senjuro”, he didn’t know what his name was as a demon but the name seem to stick to him and he figured this must be his name (he would of course be correct)

- When he found himself staying with the Kamaboko squad, having been spared despite being a demon due to him not having any form of aggression to them (something they all noticed due to his general demeanor and their enhanced sense) and Tanjiro could smell he hadnt eaten one human and he invited him to join them. He joined Nezuko in her box (she can grow really really tiny if she wants or is tired)

Reference: 

Kny chapter 85

- He joined for two reasons: One, he was really scared of people and demon slayers especially so when Tanjiro offered him the chance to be able to be safe and hide he took it. Secondly, he wasn’t sure but the smile Tanjiro gave and his warm reassurance reminded of him of someone, when he thought hard he only saw blurry shadows and got a headache so didn’t try to push it

- Tanjiro did ask him in the wisteria house while Zenitsu was chatting with Nezuko and Inosuke was off being Inosuke about his past and Senjuro told him about his brief meetings with a woman with black hair and asks if they’ve met before as he feels familiar

- This is where he gets the idea that the woman with black hair (Ruka) is his mother and Tanjiro guesses that the person that he thinks is Tanjiro must be his father (right on the first part Tanjiro but wrong on the second lol, you tried)

- He wears a cyan yukata with a new hakama pants as the clothes he was previously wearing was the same bloodstained clothes he wore after turning into a demon and Tanjiro didnt want to leave him in that. Tanjiro thought to get him a gag but the idea made Senjuro uncomfortable so Tanjiro made him swear to never eat a single human

- In Mount Nagatumo, he was too scared to jump out to protect Tanjiro like Nezuko but when she gets sliced up he leaves the box to watch her while Tanjiro fights Rui, unfortunately he is caught in Rui’s webs like Nezuko and was saved from it by Nezuko flames (though it did burn him a fair bit, Nezuko would apologize to him for this later)

- Giyuu doesn’t kill Senjuro cause his resemblance to Kyojuro despite the different clothes and demon eyes is clear to anyone who can see and Shinobu also finds herself hesitating but shakes those feelings off as Kyojuro deserves better than to see his little brother as a demon. Luckily Giyuu stops him and Senjuro runs with Nezuko and Tanjiro but is later taken back to the demon slyer corps by a Kakushi who put him and Nezuko back in their box

- When Sanemi stabbed the box, he moved to try and protect Nezuko but the box was too cramped and they both got stabbed despite his efforts. Later when he tries to bait him with his marechi blood, he’s too focused on resisting the blood and on Nezuko who he had grown to see as a sister to care about the wide eyed looks the pillars were giving him.

Kyojuro Rengoku (I am so sorry in advance Kyojuro simps I put this man THROUGH IT)

- He had just finished a mission and was going to get another mission when a crow he hadn’t seen work in years came flying to him, obviously panicked telling him how Senjuro’s school was attacked and how no one can find Senjuro among the bodies. The crow was Shinjuro’s

- When he hears that, all the kakushi and other demon slayers present would say they had never seen the flame pillar run so frantically, he only stopped to apologize briefly if he bumped into someone while running but the only thing racing in his mind was his little brother who had no weapon to defend himself with. He forced the image of his brother being nothing but a corpse away only thinking about saving Senjuro

- When he reached the school, he forced himself to calm down. Panicking isn’t going to magically bring Senjuro to him so he needs to keep himself in check because with so many people dead, he’s not the only one concerned over the kids

- There were no survivors on the area that was attacked, the police were there investigating the deaths of the many children and teachers, Kyojuro had to spend time convincing the police he was with them and to be allowed to investigate as well

- With no survivors, he heard from the police that there was a blood trail when they got there and he went to find the trail, when he reached the end of it where there were no traces of Senjuro but since the people there were untrained civilians, Senjuro was the only possible person to have been there

- He spent multiple days searching, Mitsuri was at one point sent to check on him and it was clear he was pushing himself, as days passed by, his composure and bright demeanor were crumbling and he started latching onto any lead to at the very least find the body of Senjuro to take back home but it was becoming clear that he would never find it and a kakushi had to be the one to tell him that his body was likely eaten to the bone or eaten and discarded to either rot away or eaten by someone else

- Kyojuro took a week off, not just because of the grief he felt at that moment but because he needed to check on his father and make sure he would be okay, the man didn’t even face Kyojuro when he came in to visit, he forced himself to not cry in front of his father as he tried to talk to the man who couldn’t even say a word and just drank away even as his eldest son tried to talk to him

- Servants were hired to monitor Shinjuro by Kyojuro as he was concerned about his health both physically and mentally but he did notice how Shinjuro never resisted to being taken care of by the people he hired. They reported to him he could be heard muttering Senjuro’s name and even stares at his room for extended periods of time

- When he made his return, he apologized to the pillars for his behavior the past two weeks (even though no one blamed the man, some even said it was okay if he needed more time, they wouldn’t judge) but whenever he was told that he said he had to be strong to protect the weak so he could be someone that could stop families from ending up like his own

- He was far more determined in killing demons, demon attacks had become personal to him now, whenever he saw a demon eating people he found himself wondering what they must’ve thought in the afterlife as the demon desecrated their bodies

- In the pillar meeting, when he was informed of a swordsman who travelled with not one but two demons, he felt disgust as who knows how many humans they could eat. On the way to the meeting, he couldn’t help but notice Shinobu deliberately avoiding him a bit, Giyuu was doing the same but the man never really talked with them much to begin with

- When he saw Senjuro go out of the box with Nezuko, he felt the smile on his face drop and his heart practically sunk to the core of the earth as he saw the unmistakable hair of a Rengoku and the face was so clearly Senjuro’s despite his eyes having a black sclera and his iris and pupil becoming cat like, the pillars had all turned to see if the flame pillar was alright and he could hear Himejima mutter prayers and Mitsuri was on the verge of tears seeing Senjuro alive but as a demon

- He found himself going into denial until Tanjiro, who had been freed as Obanai left to comfort the distressed love pillar, ran and yelled Senjuro’s name and told him to resist his hunger

- “My sister and the other demon with us are different! They would never eat a human!”

- Senjuro was a good kid, he was innocent, kind and a bit on the timid side. He had helped raise him, he knew Senjuro would never want to harrm a fellow human even when threatened. 

[shoutoismybaby]

Omega Shame Part 1

Summary: After spending most of your life on suppressants and ignoring your second gender, you finally decide to embrace who you are with your alphas support. But what happens when your alpha Bakugou walks in on you nesting and sparks memories of your past trauma?

warnings: ABO, Nesting, ANGST ending with fluff,

***

Nesting. This was something you hadn't even attempted since you were but a small pup. Both suppressants and fear had kept any desire for this activity far away from you, until a couple months ago. That was when you got a courting proposal, your first ever.

It was a necklace, and not just your typical alphas 'just learned how to make jewelry with string'. No. This necklace required welding, a skill you had no idea about, but that just made sense for your alpha to poses. The chain was a simple silver, leading down to a locket with intricate holes on its top layer, creating an almost explosive like design. The cloth that sat inside was a ruby red color that matched the alphas eyes, and the scent it held was strong of caramel and ash.

Of course if Bakugou was to make a courting gift, his was going to be the best you had ever seen.

You had wasted no time in placing the necklace around your neck, relaxing as his scent filled your nose. It was from this point that you knew Bakugou would make an amazing alpha for you. After all, if he put so much effort into the courting gift, you could only imagine the effort he would put into courting you. Even then in typical Bakugou fashion, he passed all expectations.

It started with the way he would make you lunches, walk you to wherever you needed to go, and made sure to give you a thorough scenting only after he got permission. He always showed concern for your physical and mental wellbeing, stopping you from pushing yourself too hard in training and even scolding you for your self deprecating jokes.

“No one gets to talk down about my omega. Especially not my omega.” He had growled at you once. Again Bakugou did something unexpected, making your omega purr at a growl.

It felt so nice to have someone who cared about you. Someone who encouraged you to stop hiding your second gender from everyone but those in your own class. Not that you had even let your class discover on purpose, but the stressful situations class A had gotten in over the years did wonders for wearing off suppressants and scent blockers. 

He, along with your other classmates, had been building up your confidence in your secondary sex for years now. Bringing you to the realization that being an omega didn't mean that you were weak or any less than betas or alphas. Momo and Ochako were omegas after all, and they were some of the strongest people you knew. So once you had gotten an alpha your omega was basically begging to be set free, and you didn't feel like you had to deny it anymore.

So here you were, after 3 months of being off of the medications your hormones and instincts were finally leveling back to normal. It was something you had never experienced before, but you had Bakugou to help support you along the way. That's why you needed his scent in your nest. No matter how nauseous you felt walking into the young alphas room while you knew he was training, your omega refused to continue the day without at least one peice of his clothing. More than that and you were sure you would be sent into a panic attack. You had no idea how he would react to you doing this. Would he be disgusted? Angry?

Ironically the only thing calming your thoughts was to continue building the nest. Pillows upon pillows methodically shoved between various stuffed animals and blankets became nest shaped as the time passed. Soon enough you were left with just one item left, one of his favorite skull shirts. You had wanted to take something he would miss less, but they weren’t drowned in his scent like this one was. You sat back into the middle of your nest to take a thorough look around. You didn’t want to take too long to decide a place for it by now as you were getting tired. Not to mention you were going to go out on a movie date with Bakugou so you also needed to get ready for that. You would have checked the time if you weren’t so fixated on your task, and that would turn out to be a huge mistake.

You had finally found the perfect place for his shirt when you heard your door open from behind you. In the middle of slipping the clothing item over your pillow you froze as your heart began to race. Your omega knew it was an alpha before you knew who it was and she let out a chirp before you could stop it.

All you could remember was the first time this had happened, an Alpha walking in on your nest. You were seven, not old enough to even present as an omega but tendencies could show early in childhood. You were excited and happily humming as you arranged your blankets, stuffed animals, and your parents best smelling clothes into small yet sturdy walls in the shape of an oval on your bed. You couldn’t help but feel safe, like you would no longer fall off your bed in the middle of the night, or that monsters or other intruders would quickly avoid hurting you once they got just a single sniff of your parents alpha scents. You were proud when you were finished and immediately snuggled into it for a nap, only to wake up to the scent of rotting eggs. A clear indicator your father was both near and very angry. All the yelling and trashing of your hard work that happened next was just a blur. But you could remember how you felt the entire time so vividly. The way your lungs seemed incapable of taking in air, the trembling of your hands and especially the weakness in your knees. Most of all, you remembered the absolute terror as your safe space was invaded. Adrenaline pumped through your veins as fast as your heart would allow it, and you could only sit back and watch.

It was that day that you first became aware that there was something wrong with you. Something gross, weak, and worth hating.

That’s why even when the scent of Bakugou filled your nose, your heart still didn’t slow down. In fact, it only sped up when you finally turned around to look at him, all of the hope you had gotten by convincing yourself he would be happy you were embracing yourself quickly diminishing. His brows furrowed more than normal and his mouth was set in a deep scowl, slightly open just enough that his naturally large canines poked out.

He was angry.

“Do you not know how to answer your fucking phone?! You were so eager to force me to agree to this date and then you don't even respond when I-” Your thoughts were racing far too fast to actually hear what he was saying. Your omega could only think of one thing, your alpha was angry with you. You messed up and now he was angry with you. It was just like your parents, you should have listened to them when they told you it was stupid to nest.

But you had worked so hard on it, and it made you feel so good. You didn’t want your nest to be torn apart again. The smell of smoke wafted from the alphas' palms as you were too caught up in your memories to really hear him. Hear how he was angry with you for forgetting about your date, angry that you had stood him up and too busy being upset to even notice that you were sitting in a nest. The smell of smoke invoked just another event in your mind, one that happened when you had first presented as an omega at 13. Something that caused the damn behind your eyes to finally break.

“PLEASE DON’T DESTROY MY NEST” You Omega sobbed, distressed chips flooding from your chest like air. “Please, please!”

Your outburst startled the Alpha into silence. He could only stand there and watch as his omegas scent was filled with fear as she wiped at her eyes aggressively. A first he was confused, letting his body pump out comfort pheromones instinctually as he let himself observe the situation. You were dressed only in your school uniform, clearly having been building the nest that surrounded you from the time you entered the dorm room to when he had burst into your room, now far past dark. You were trembling too, body curled up in on itself as you hiccupped and begged.

“Please, I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorryyy! Just please dont destroy my nest.” Your voice cracked and it resonated painfully in his ear and his heart dropped. Why did you think he would destroy your nest? Sure he wasn't the best alpha but he wasn’t a monster. Did you really think he would destroy the one place where you felt safest? A weight grew in his chest that left as a deep growl,

“Here.” He growled, “Probably best if we just end this bullshit.”

This was all your fault. If you hadnt built this stupid nest in the first place, or even started crying like a fucking baby then this wouldnt have happened. But you were a weak omega, and just like your parents said, no one can love someone so weak. Especially not someone as powerful as Katsuki. You shouldn’t have let yourself believe that they were wrong for even a second. You had thought that Bakugou would be the one who would love you for who you truly were. But that was naive. No one could love such a burden. No one could love you.

The drop of the crafted bracelet to the ground seconds before your door slammed, leaving you alone once more in your room, proof enough of that.

Your parents were right.

A flame of anger lit in your chest. Why were you so unloveable just the way you were? Why couldn’t you just be different? Why couldn’t you be an alpha like your parents had wanted?

You could feel your nails extend into claws as the hair on your body raised. You glared at the soft material weaved together around you as hot tears built up behind your eyes. This time instead of being fueled by fear they were fueled by rage and resentment.

You were so angry. So angry at youself, at your weak omega, and especially at your stupid nest. You couldn't help but let a couple tears fall as you let your anger get the best of you, and you didn't stop it until you were heaving in the middle of your disaster of a room. Surrounded by torn pieces of fabric and the other contents of your room scattered by your tantrum, you finally let yourself breath. 

You turned around to see the item you had been avoiding, your pillow with bakugou's shirt. With a deep breath you grabbed a hold of the object, digging your claws into its plush softness. The caramel ash smell that permeated the air only helped to break down the remaining bits of your anger. And you didn’t want to be left alone with your despair just yet.

With the release of your breath a ripping sound could be heard. The shirt split and cotton popped out from the opening like popcorn. Once you had successfully dissected what had been a comfort item you threw it somewhere away from you and took another deep breath.

Now you were finally alone. Just you and your reality. You could really feel how much pain your omega was in as your hair began to lower and your normal nails returned. You had heard about this pain before. A deep one in your chest, heartbreak. Your omega seemed to curl around that feeling. Of rejection. Self hatred. That no one would ever need you, let alone want you. You could feel yourself start to slip into the limbo of numbness and searing pain.

An Omega Depression.

You remembered learning about it back when you were in middle school, most people were beginning to present as their second sex. Your teachers had emphasized how important it was to get medical attention at the first signs, you knew how dangerous it was, but all you wanted to do was lay there on the floor. You were tired, and what was the point? No one cared about you, not your parents… not Bakugou. Your throat strained painfully at that thought. Bakugou didn’t want you, and it was your fault.