#basically i want book seinfeld

[burstbubbbles]

why don't we have book sitcoms i would read the shit out of those

[notsocheezy]

A Messy Attempt at a Writeblr Intro

This is way overdue, but as my one-hundred-and-first post on the hellsite, I'll go ahead and tell you a little about me. Too much, perhaps. No matter - that's what I always do.

I'm Cassandra Erica, local girlish-shaped thing carrying she/they pronouns under each arm (despite how much more difficult it makes grocery shopping). I'm traumatized and so are mostly all of my characters, and they deserved it just as much as I did (none) but that's the cards they're dealt. By me. I swear, I tried to stop writing about childhood trauma, it just didn't work.

"So," you're wondering, "what have you written so far? What are you working on? Are you going to keep up this weird reflexive second-person perspective?" To answer back-to-front: no, many things, and not quite as many things. Here are some lists!

~~~

RELEASED ON NOTSOCHEEZY.COM!

The Real Me (2022, Short Story)

There's something a bit off about businessman Mr. Shirley Jones. What's he hiding?

Three Takes on Death (2022, Short Story)

What might happen when we die?

Pink Bow (2022, Novella)

Who knew trying on one dress at the mall could change a person's entire life? Chris - or, uh, Kris - certainly didn't. Was it just a dress inside that box with the pink bow, or was it something more?

Plus some other things, don't worry about it.

~~~

BRAIN CURDS

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Here are some of the greatest hits!

Three. Two. One. (#31)

The Characters V The Author (#28)

The Heart Wants What It Wants (#39)

The Frank Program (Series)

Frank hosts a podcast with high profile guests, and he's not afraid to tell you "what the media doesn't want you to know."

Passable. (Series)

Four trans besties live in the city and do things that are not strictly ethical... or smart. Basically gay Seinfeld.

Government Man (Series)

Government Man is from the government.

Dominic of the Darkness (Series)

The antichrist is about to celebrate his sweet 666th birthday by breaking hell - that is, going to live on Earth for a week.

~~~

WIP!

Anthill Theory (Short Film) Finished - Waiting for Soundtrack

An exploration of free will through a time loop that the protagonist doesn't know he's in.

Blue Rabbit (Short Story) Pre-Final

Sequel to A Covenant of Rust (see below). I keep telling myself I'm going to finally finish this one.

Passable. Episode One - The Virgin Fermenting

Revised from several Brain Curds, this is the pilot episode of sorts for my trans sitcom.

One Late Night Easter Morning (Short Story) First Draft

A chance encounter at a bar leads to late-night musings about humanity.

The Order of the Degenerati (Novel) Outlining

A secret society was formed after the tragedy of the holocaust to make sure it never happened again. Unfortunately, nowadays the most they can do is make YouTube videos go viral.

It Goes Up (Never Never NEVER NEVER NEVER) Complete

You will never read it.

Memories Retained (Novella?) Outlining

Ever had a dream where you were back in high school, before it all went to shit, and you decided to do something differently? Ever woke up and found out it really happened?

Seeing Other People (Novel?) Brain Curding

A story of love, polyamory, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and heartbreak. Gee, I wonder why I feel compelled to write this one?

And MORE! THERE IS ALWAYS MORE!

~~~

MY BOOK!(?)

Publishers don't seem super interested in collections of short stories, and I'm afraid a collection of short stories and novellas may make a literary agent's head explode, so expect to see Tales from Starved Childhoods as a self-published debut! It includes a fully rewritten new version of Everyone Has Their Price (2017); newly revised versions of Next Day Delivery (2017), The Real Me (2022), Three Takes on Death (2022) and Pink Bow (2022); and all-new stories such as:

A Covenant of Rust (2023, Novella)

A newlywed couple moves into a 1950s prefab home in early 2020, but finds more hidden beneath the surface than the floor plan could reveal. Will forgotten secrets and isolation bring them together, or tear them apart?

AND SOME OF THOSE WIPs UP THERE! THEY'RE WHY THIS ISN'T OUT YET!

Tales from Starved Childhoods is set to be the physical manifestation of my early career as a writer, so stay tuned and look for it someplace books are sold!

~~~

If you'd like to be one of my readers or vice versa, don't hesitate to reach out! I'm shy but I'm friendly.

I'm always happy to have more eyes on what I'm making and I'm always happy to read something new. It helps with the burnout. I'm open to most any genre - I don't really think much about labels when coming up with ideas.

If you work for a publisher and you see something you like, send an email to publishing@notsocheezy.com with the subject line, "Business Factory."

[maudlin-scribbler]

An introduction I guess

" They might try to tell you how you can live your life/But don't forget it's your right/To do whatever you like " - Spotlight (Oh Nostalgia), Patrick Stump

Hey, I'm Corin(or Cory or Cor), or XO, or maudlin scribbler or madulin or scribbler. Honestly I like being called either of those names, or nicknames or variations of them. Also call me Cory too, perhaps.

17 years old, and will be so for some months still. Born in november.

Any pronouns.

Queer, kinda transgender, my gender is also eather fluid as well.

I am also on the aroace spectrum, somewhere there haha. And I guess I am pansexual as well.

School wise, I suppose I could say that I am sort of studying the social sciences. I love anthropology, archaeology and history, they are quite some of the major loves of my life, along with mythology and folklore.

I do love astronomy and space in general, but I am not very knowledgable in these sort of things. Frankly, I am so fucking bad at science.

romanian! With greek and ukrainian roots. I speak romanian, english (hopefully), a tad bit of french and I am trying to learn greek.

Hope you don't mind the obnoxious amount of dividers!

Also check out my friend @mintmacaroonn !!!! They're a pretty cool dude, I'd say.

Also the tag #corin's lore is basically my talking tag. I tag my art under the tag #my art.

Hobestly, I have a lot of interests, some of which I'll list here and all of them will be listed in the tags(eventually). Some of them I don't think of very much, while some are currently consuming my mind haha. Frankly the best way to find out if I know something though is to ask me!

I love gothic literature, such as the Invisible Man by H. G. Wells(bold and in colour 'cause I love it so much despite not talking about it for a while haha. Don't remember that much of it tho, wanna reread it again someday). I have read some other books too. Yeah, I've read PJO (and a little bit of HOO). And Frankenstein(and Jekyll & Hyde). I love sitcoms, I've wached The Nanny and FRIENDS and some other 90s & 2000s sitcoms, I think. I like Superstore, and I have indeed watched 1670 (netflix) and loved it, and Rise of Empirea: Ottoman. And Seinfeld, yeah. Kinda like lore rekindled too, ngl.

Of course, as I have said before, I love history!

Love Ride The Cyclone!

I like cookie run (I mostly have played kingdom though) and have played a bit of reverse 1999

Yes, I do like hetalia (but I'll only really talk about it on my side blog, @estbela , for the forseeable future.). I'm critical of it, I guess.

Despite my love for music, I struggle with checking out artists and stuff, but I do love the Crane Wives and Fall Out Boy(albeit I've only recently started really listening to them, I haven't really listened to all their stuff or anything but they're cool)! And I do love Patrick Stump's solo stuff too haha, soul punk is awesome. Which might be obvious because of me putting a quote from one of the songs at the top of this post. I also love other music too!!!! :]

Hobestly i love a lot of other things too.

[ I do want to mention that I am critical of my interests and stuff, and don't blindly love stuff. If one of my interests contains 'problematic' things, it doesn't mean I condone it and sometimes I might not even know about it. ].

AO3 -> I.

Twitter -> II.

Sometimes I might talk about myself or my life, vent a little I guess haha. I really like complaining about stuff, it seems. I struggle with my mental health, but I try not to talk about it too much.

Dunno if I have dyslexia, but I do have some similar struggles with people who do have it. Including my struggle with spelling, but I do try my best. I...probably have ADHD? Maybe some other couple things, who knows.

have a lot of ideas for original stuff. Will perhaps try to talk about those ideas...eventually. Sometimes I also think I am funny.

Feel free to ask me stuff also!!!

Thanks for reading this whole thing! :]

...Will probably edit this if I can think of other stuff to mention, or when I feel like it.

-dividers by @/saradika-graphics -> x.

-my old pinned post -> x.

A hug for you! :D

Also a cool blinkie thing <3

[thefreelanceangel]

Tagged! 9 People, Let's Go!

@madalyn-maeve tagged me (directly, by messaging me, because Tumblr was being a bitch) so I'm going to IMMEDIATELY do this.

Last Song Listened To:

"Let The Children Watch" by Tom Cardy (LOL I KNOW... I actually keep YouTube playing largely in the background when @tlbodine comes over for our biweekly coffee & chat, so the last ACTUAL song on the play history was "Hell is Forever" from Hazbin Hotel, but I fiddled around last night and Tom Cardy was the last thing I clicked on.) If you want the last non-hilarious song I listened to, it was "Footfalls" by Soken and the Primals. [Because of COURSE it was.]

Currently Watching:

"Seinfeld" is playing in the background as I type this because my ADHD can handle new books easy, but does Not Play Well with new shows/movies. (I have to be in the mindset to SIT and WATCH NEW.) Most of the time, I play the same few TV series in the background so I can glance up, watch for a few minutes, and then go back to what I'm doing. Which means in rotation, it may be: Seinfeld The Simpsons Hazbin Hotel Helluva Boss American Horror Story (Coven, Freak Show, Hotel are the most likely seasons to be watched, but I like Asylum and will rewatch Roanoke) Forged in Fire Mythbusters

Sweet/Savory/Spicy?:

I will take sweet over ANYTHING else. I am very much a hummingbird and prefer sweet flavors to anything except garlic. Savory is secondary, mainly in favor of sandwiches. And... no spicy. None. No. I am the Whitest of White Girls and just cannot even with spicy. I do not like to EAT PAIN for fun. {I still get mocked by my husband and my roommate for fussing about "this ketchup is too spicy" after a lot of black pepper got mixed into it. IT WAS SPICY, DAMN IT.}

Relationship Status:

Well, I did say above that I have a husband, so kinda outed myself on that one, huh? :D My hubs is @scarssdoesrp (and yes his Tumblr is basically nonexistent, much to my eternal frustration, and yes, at a glance, it hilariously reads like 'Scarss Does ERP' which is just so gd funny.) We met ... lemme think... I want to say back in 2010 when my then-boyfriend got me playing Neverwinter Nights and I joined a server that Scarss was modding. We stayed in touch, off and on, throughout the years, and then I ran into him on NWN again after splitting with my ex. He trundled over to GW2 and welp... Now we've been together nearly six years and married for two!

Current Obsession:

HAH. Books. Books, books, books, books, always books. Always books. ...yes, FFXIV, I'm logged in almost every day, I GPose during my work hours *cough* I GPOSE A LOT, and I genuinely enjoy the gameplay so I have fun trying to Git Gud. (But also books, seriously, like I LOVE books, if you want to talk about books, let's talk about books.)

Tagging:

I know this has been going around for a while, so I'm going to tag people from my notifications that I'm not familiar with! LET'S GET TO KNOW SOME FOLKS! @im-thinking-arson (Love that name btw LOL) and @wingedflame and @swishysword annnnnnnd @ithaerielbrenagh and @hazoret

@arinaxiv annnnnnnnd... @lizzy-calaxio and... @zeloinator and... @thefrostflower

(Let's try fixing the tags YET AGAIN...)

[lllecheesiestboiii]

Lore drop since the last time I spoke about these guys was back when I still used Amino 💀

The running joke with Arvo is that he’s never evolved out of his cringe phase, the evil ancient scroll (his old ref sheet) was gospel when I was reintroducing him into the Cheeseverse fr. This being said, yes. His story’s cringe has remained intact- preservation is important!

Rabbit - Arvo, Goose - Viktor, Cat - Kat (incredibly fitting, I know)

Context- There’s this weird ass demon mafia thing and the members wear animal masks (because an edgy 12 year old made this). Membership is incredibly limited and regular ass humans are only able to join through contracts- that often involve bartering with souls (cause demons). Full-fledged human members can basically earn ‘real big boy demon mafia’ status by shedding ownership o’ that lil soul and gaining immortality, as well as powers (intended to increase their ‘work’ performance (They can be enslaved/banished or killed, but it’s very difficult to do this). Enter Arvo- one of these guys. Arvo ranks very high in the system’s hierarchy and has been there for a long ass time- this also serves as his foil. Being such a long standing member, his initiation took place during an incredibly awkward transitional period where the system began to become more modernised (switching from like. Medieval looking demons to demons in suits n crap who look like they’d be named ‘Bob from accounting’). Certain rules hadn’t been established during this time- one rule standing out in particular. The human age requirement for full initiation- causing Arvo to be fourteen for the rest of eternity (poor thang). In the early years, Arvo was like any other new recruit- eager af to do spooky demon mafia shiz but, understandably, he’s become. Somewhat. Jaded over the years. Bro might LOOK like an edgy little teenager, but in reality all he wants to do is retire and spend the rest of his days smoking cigs and watching Seinfeld vacantly in a comfy ass armchair- this can’t happen, however. Bro is immortal AND tied into a contract- which also happens to be immortal. He treats his job (with, btw is killin people n other edgy demon shiz) like a dead end office job that he can't stand (which, for him, is kind of what it is 💀) Arvo is basically a miserable, pissed off manager and everyone is lowkey scared of him cause he’s high ranking, senior staff.

Other two guys. 1. Viktor. Bro is the one exception to the ‘everyone is scared of Arvo’ rule. Being fairly new, he’s been assigned to Arvo to be trained/monitored, and he’s always trying to fuck around and joke (which is a big ol’ no no in Arvo’s book). Viktor is basically a sleazy ass rat-bastard from the 1950’s and Arvo DESPISES him. Man’s also got a huge ass ego and, even though by industry standards, he’s a tiny little baby, bro thinks he's the shiz fr. Arvo, despite being immortal, feels like he has aged. Many years. Since he met Viktor.

2. Kat. Kat is fucking insane. Don't know what else to say. She’s at that point where she doesn’t hate existence yet, and is just living the dream fr. Arvo hates her too. But that’s kind of a running theme with him. Who doesn’t he hate at this point?

Also. this story is designed to be imagined in a workplace comedy/mockumentary style- think shows like The Office/The Thick of It

Cursed og murder gang gang lore

[cishetamine]

recently a friend asked me to come over to drop off my annotated copy of a book, and then we planned to kinda just hang out and check out the local bookstore and maybe get dinner or something.

this is a friend i like spending time with, and while we’ve only really hung out once before in person, our time together made a very positive impression on me!

anyway so after a couple times of planning to get together and then failing to do so, i finally make it over to their apartment and drop off the book. so far so good!

and we’re talking and it’s all very fun like before. we have a lot in common, & specifically they like to play Philosophy Debate with me, which is a game that i don’t usually play that much bc most people—including many ppl i consider otherwise very good friends!—tend to find it annoying.

so then we head over to the bookstore. and at first it’s all great—we start browsing, not really looking for anything in particular. But gradually i start feeling like i’m carrying more and more of the conversation, until eventually i start to get the sense that they don’t want to talk to me anymore.

we each find a book—fittingly, mine is a stray from the philosophy section, even though i basically only ever read fiction books these days.

(it’s weird, most of the short-form stuff i read is nonfiction—essays, articles, etc—but most of the long stuff i read is fiction. like i’m honestly not sure if i’ve read a nonfiction book all the way through since college?! which hasn’t been all that long, but still!)

anyway so my friend also gets a book, i forget what, i think it was mao? or they were just looking for mao. Anyway we check out and leave and then as we’re walking back to their apartment they tell me that while they were in the bookstore they got an email.

me : !??

anyway basically this email means that they need to be alone for a while. and so we can’t get dinner or anything that day, and i have no idea when (if ever) i’ll even see them again.

i kinda tried to politely ask them what the email was about, but they said they’d rather not say, so i used their bathroom, got on the bus, and left.

and i felt really bad for them, bc what the fuck kind of email could that even be?!! did their parent or sibling die?? did they not get into the grad program they really wanted? i wanted to give them a hug; i don’t remember if i actually did or not.

i hope they’re okay.

but now i’m left wondering: If i just wanted to get someone to give me their book and then leave, wouldn’t that be kinda the perfect setup?

Pretend everything is normal and then as soon as you’ve gotten what you wanted out of the situation, come up with an excuse to leave?

i don’t want to assume the worst, and i’m honestly not even sure if they’re capable of that level of guile.

But i know i am! like that’s a seinfeld/curb episode plot right there if i’ve ever heard of one. and it’s something i could do, though i don’t imagine i’d relish it—albeit mostly bc i’d be scared of getting caught rather than bc i think it’s inherently wrong.

anyway..if you’ve read this far:

What, if anything, should i do?

like i guess i should assume they’re telling the truth and that there really was an email and i should feel sad about their secret dead sister or whatever.

but if there wasn’t an email at all…well then damn, that would suck too but in a much dumber and pettier way!

[ericleo108]

CosmicLuve.com August 2023 - Orange

Necessary prerequisite posts:

Cosmic Luve August 2023 - Orange

108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness (book)

Sentientism 2022

Cosmic Love 2021 - Selena Gomez

Cosmic Love April 2022: Cary Charlotte or Mary

Cosmic Luve July 2023 - The Main Thing

Intro

This entry is coming on the heels of a pivotal post. To oversimplify, my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness” is a nonfiction autobiographical short story and philosophical breakdown of the evidence and reasoning as to why I think some planets and stars are conscious. I break down how the earth could be communicating in this blog on the Sentientism post(s) which is more about the belief and speculation about how Gaia could be communicating.

The basic theory is Gaia/Earth uses environmental semantics with telepathic randonauting and points of realization to highlight cognition to affect behavior. It’s my experience that Gaia does this through friends, good people, and especially romantic prospects to reach individuals internally with the feeling of love. This series catalogs the semantics I think Gaia is using by having entities/cosmic luves reflect my work and artistry. My main cosmic luves are Emma Watson, Taylor Swift, Hailee Seinfeld, and the main one we’ll talk about in this post is Selena Gomez.

As you can see from reading the past entries, I don’t make these up, the coincidences just come to me. I basically see semantic tropes and try to catalog and interpret them. With this one more than most, it’s obvious it’s external. I’m not making this stuff up, how could I?  The only question is, is this just all coincidence or is it the best form of communication to the planetary entity we have right now?

Where we left off

Expanding upon last months July 2023 - The Main Thing post (and tweet with pictures). It’s worth mentioning that I was wrong about the otters thing. I’m sure somewhere I made a comment about how I like otters. Basically, I always think Gaia is using Emma Watson as a vessel strategically because the reflection to my life is so stark but would normally come by referencing things the public wouldn’t know about, hence it couldn’t be human and intentional. This time if Emma did a little search on my profile she could of intentionally picked horses and otters to “love me without possession” and reflect my sun poem, in her orange poem, which the color orange also highlights today’s theme.

The only real reflection that Emma would have to know me personally for, for her to be purposefully reflecting me would be kayaking. I didn’t say anything online about getting on the River. Otherwise, everything else you could probably find about me somewhere online. So hi Emma, if you’re here, I would love to know your perspective on this and take you on a date. But a better example of how I think Gaia uses semantics through vessels to communicate is Selena in this months cosmic luve because it involves multiple characters over a couple weeks.

Also leaving off from last post and the whole Jesus is based on the myth of the sun thing is I basically want Christians to realize is they worship the sun. I do too, i just think they do it wrong. First of all, I took a poll on X asking if people would straight up worship the sun and they voted they find it stupid. 

But my point is Jesus is based on the myth of the sun, so like a lot of people worship the sun and don’t realize it. But it’s my experience and reasoning with Sentientism that the sun would want you to worship him in action developed through training your mind and intellect to better yourself and others. It’s like what JFK said, on earth, God’s work is truly our own. 

“With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's work must truly be our own.” - JFK

So a quick recap. Although you think it’s stupid, you still worship the sun in a roundabout way. And to be clear, you think it’s good to worship Jesus and the sun is stupid to regard as a god whereas I think it’s stupid to worship Jesus and worship the sun (and Gaia) through action/behavior whic I think are like gods.

It’s just like how people pray to god. If you read 108 you’ll see why I think the planet is telepathic. Given these circumstances, planet Earth, the god Gaia, would be able to hear your prayers. This goes even further with the thought that god works in mysterious ways… because she would have to. Gaia would hear your prayer and even if she would want to help (which is in question if she would) she would be limited by her physical capability. She has no arms or eyes, her power is magnetism. The way I describe in these posts how I think Gaia infiltrates people's minds to help bring about progress is how she would answer your prayers. Remember I think these individuals are being manipulated by the planet's telepathic abilities that I talk about in my book “108.”

New coincidences

It all started when I noticed a trope progressing. First, I heard about how Swiss Beats made fun of his wife Alicia Keys for ordering carrots in the club. Then, immediately after on Instagram, I saw a new Conor Price video where he was playfully using a carrot as a flute to promote one of his songs. Next, I saw Selena in an orange dress. I made a tweet about it.  Then I talked about it in my longform Youtube sunday update on August 13 2023. I was like “Selena is now my carrot.” Then on August 17 I open up instagram to find Selena in her orange dress on her profile picture and a post promoting her new song “Single soon.”

In the same way this developed, how Selena became my carrot, is how Emma and the semantic anchor to a cat developed that I talk about in my book “108,” but only Emma’s cat association was much more pervasive and consistent. Carrots are a root vegetable and basically live in Gaia’s blood/body/dirt

Then on August 18th I uploaded “Our Love” for distribution. This is a song I wrote for a competition to get the guitarist RJ Pasin, who made the beats sample, on the official feature. The competition must have ended early but I still wanted to release the song while the sample was hot. The song is not personal. I basically wrote the hook first and then did everything else and at a certain point I decided to make it about breaking up and getting back together with your ex.

This is interesting because both of our songs came out on the 25th and Selena’s song is about breaking up with her boyfriend. Just another coincidence right…. It goes even deeper because her song seemed impromptu and came out a month after I released my single “Vulnerable” which is a response to Selena’s song by the same name.

Then I saw a Taco Bell advertisement on the 27th about how you could get a free Doritos locos taco from Taco Bell on “taco Tuesdays” in August. It’s important to understand the story, I basically had a depressing birthday. I did nothing and could not afford to treat myself. I talk about it in my August 27 2023 Sunday update.

I thought the orange semantics ended with the carrot and the dress but follow me here. My birthday falls on Tuesday, August 22nd this month. I actually went searching for free stuff on my birthday because I’m so broke but I couldn’t find anything.  I didn’t know about the free taco that I could actually get on my birthday because of the promotion until after my birthday. Then, most coincidentally, I came to realize locos are orange. I went in and got a free one on the 29th.  I took a picture of it, but it looks way more orange in person. 

Like I said, I’ve been kind of depressed so it felt like a sad birthday. But then on the 26th I celebrated my birthday with my mom and she gave me a ps5 and I think it’s exactly what I need. She gave me a little spending money and made sure I had a good birthday.

I’ll be set on releases until 2024 in September. I should make music videos but they’re expensive. I’m still gonna try but honestly, I think what I need is time and to relax. Especially my Spotify is growing. I probably get about $50 from cdbaby every month which has been helping. The ryini beats team has been a good professional resource still.

It’s worth mentioning, I was also made aware of, through a tiktok this month, that the US quietly rejected the right to food at a UN vote recently. On November 9, 2021, nations in the UN voted on whether or not food is a human right. Over 180 countries participated in the vote, with an overwhelming majority voting in favor of food as a human right. America was the only country who voted “no.” (google search)

It’s almost as if Gaia brought it up to be in context. I feel like she’s really disappointed in the United States. If the voice in my head that claims to be Gaia has anything to say about it is “This is my land, this is my food, it belongs to me, it is me, and I decree it is for all life on this planet. And food is a right for all people.”

To further relate the coincidences Taco Bell’s solan is Live mas,  and Selena’s music video for “Single Soon” has the same feel as a sexy Taco Bell commercial. It’s almost as if Gaia was like, look over here in the orange, I got you a song, a taco, and something for your purpose, baby calm down, happy birthday. So basically I feel like Gaia got me a song and a taco for my birthday

Keeping with the last post’s side quests about how when one door closes, another opens. Music closed for me basically (until the end of the year at least), and opened up an avenue to just live more/mas instead of work through playing my PS5. I’m still waiting for the door to open that was closed from not being able to go to Western for my master's in sociology. I’m actually hoping that door will be finding representation from a sync music boutique for my music that I have been trying to find for a couple of weeks now.

[shkspr]

Hellooooo I started following you because of that really really popular post you did about people not caring about stuff and how that makes them bad friends actually and that was a big big relief because I get really down on myself for being a Burden for my Whatever(s) and you were like “That’s dumb?” and I was like :0 :,) so thank you!

And I wanted to send you a random ask blah blah etc. because I saw that post and so I will because it’s allowed. What are your favorite:

- colors?

- animals?

- books?

- songs?

- superheroes?

- [anything else you want to add!]

Thank you!! <3

ahh im glad that post resonated with you<33 and thank you for sending this!!

my favorite colors besides green are yellow and orange and purple and red. but like muted colors mostly not like firetruck red or magenta or anything like that. seinfeld voice not that theres anything wrong with that!

i talked about my favorite animal species on the last ask so now im going to tell you my favorite specific animals:

my cat

my mom’s cat who is basically my cat

my girlfriend’s cat

my aunt’s tiny chihuahua/lab mix who clings like a koala and snorts like a pig and is named after rey from star wars but her name is rae bc my uncle didnt know how to spell rey from star wars

all of my friends’ cats

all of my friends’ non-cat pets (sorry)

nibbler from futurama

my favorite books!!!!! are:

jane eyre

hamlet (is a play obviously but i own four or five copies and ive read it upwards of twenty times and it is a book)

the phantom tollbooth

the princess bride

good omens

wuthering heights

anything leonard cohen except for beautiful losers

my favorite songs is more complicated bc i dont have like a set List of Favorites like i do with other things bc there are just too many songs yk. but heres a selection of songs off the top of my (not entirely sober) head that are perennial favorites of mine:

a better son/daughter rilo kiley

bridge over troubled water

gucci gucci by kreayshawn

wasabi by little mix

literally every single mountain goats song but shoutout to autoclave my forever fave

also literally every single mika song but special shoutout to elle me dit and good guys and no place in heaven

and literally every single daisy the great song but special shoutout to glitter and persephone and time machine

piano man

fuck it. all too well

it’s alright and so down mother mother

my favorite superhero. is buffy the vampire slayer :^) thats not meant to be a Statement of any kind it is just the answer to that question

my favorite vegetable recipe is roasted or grilled onion mushroom and zucchini with a good helping of salt and pepper and the chewy brown edges, served over rice with your protein of choice (i prefer tofu or chicken) and you can use teriyaki sauce or lemon butter or anything you want !

AND my favorite flavor of ice cream is strawberry cheesecake :^)

[jessicafurseth]

Reading List, After All the Other edition.

"I need to walk down a sidewalk somewhere on a shady afternoon, find a table outside a cafe, sit down, order a drink, and I want to sit there with that drink and I want a fly to land on that table. Then, in the background, I want to hear somebody laugh. Then I want to see a woman walk by in a green dress. I want to see a dog walk by, a fat dog with short brown hair and with grinning eyes. I want to die sitting there. I want to die upright, my eyes still open. I want an airplane to fly overhead. I want a woman to walk by in a blue dress. Then I want that same fat dog with short brown hair and grinning eyes to come walking by again. That will be enough, after all the other, after everything else." [Charles Bukowski]

[Image: Ellsworth Kelly's slippers]

*

Unquotable in the best way, this is quite the ride [Sophie Heawood]

Welcome to the chaos era of social media [Annalee Nevitz, The Atlantic]

"They presented an irreverent version of adulthood that I had never seen on TV or in life: a playful yet sophisticated world where grown-ups joked and laughed together and didn’t take themselves too seriously, even when everyone around them was being very serious indeed." On Seinfeld's relevancy, 25 years later [Maya Salam, The New York Times]

"Why on Earth would it be odd to eat alone, or go for a walk alone, or live alone, or do virtually anything alone? Everyone’s their own person, we live in a free country, what possible reason could you have not to do whatever it is you want to do, accompanied or not? Equally, must we really pretend that it is always fun and great and liberating to do all those things by yourself?" [Marie Le Conte, The New Statesman]

"In 1990, my parents decided to raise me in the United States, and we all had a chance to choose a new identity. They asked for my 3-year-old’s opinion: What would I like to be called in this new place? I answered, the story goes, with Connie, after that pretty “ayi,” or auntie, we watched on TV. That ayi was Constance Yu-Hwa Chung, or, as the world knows her, Connie Chung." All the little Chinese girls named Connie [Connie Wang, The New York Times]

Why so many autistic people still identify with the term "Asperger’s" [Zoe Corbyn, The Guardian]

"Let me grapple! Let me exist!" Less TikTok, More Screaming [Persinette}

My Taste Is Basic. So What? [Samantha Irby, Harper's Bazaar]

“Amazon doesn’t care about books … a book is just another thing in a warehouse,” [B&N CEO] Daunt says. “Whereas bookstores are places of discovery. They’re just really nice spaces.” How Barnes & Noble bounced back #BoycottAmazon [Lauren Aratani, The Guardian]

Why don’t we realise how screwed up the UK really is? [Jonn Elledge, The New Statesman]

Notes from Prince Harry’s Ghostwriter [JR Moehringer, The New Yorker]

"That we’re not the most beautiful is a frequent accusation, as if the only currency exchange for male power is perfect female beauty when, as Eve Babitz worked out and wrote down, an equal conversion for a woman is self-possession." [Emma Forrest, The Guardian]

Spiraling in San Francisco’s Doom Loop - Downtown San Francisco will survive this, but it will be a sad few years [Elizabeth Weil, Curbed]

No, Cities Aren’t Doomed Because of Remote Work - it's complicated [Alissa Walker, Curbed]

The Best Beer Gardens In London, mapped [Londonist]

13 truly great ads [George Mack on Twitter]

The colour of the city: The argument for red [Peter Ackroyd, Londonist]

[anna-neko]

ok @misterdadguy FOR NEXT TIME, LET US AIM TO READ ANOTHER QUARTER OF BOOK

this puts us almost halfway thru the story! You will know you in right place, as Mort will be in a TAVERN the line to stop - "Everyone had seen Mort run through it three times. He just hadn't opened it" get ready to watch ya boi learn the job a bit, mess up, meet some new cast members…. (a few things will seem like Good Omens references.... but this IS Pratchett we talkin about, so really, it's all comin from the same creative pool)

lets do some Sir pTerry notes so far! behind cut to save others timelines

DISNEY at one point had optioned Discworld, MORT specifically, for an animated movie

the deal eventually fell thru as Discworld came as more of a complete package than they wanted (don't know details of rights sales/ownership here. Gonna guess it was maybe similar to Jim Henson's MUPPETS being diff package to Henson Workshop creatures type thing?) a lovely pre-production concept art by Claire Keane. Keli to Ysabell contrast is really *chefs kiss*

Another lovely art: its not quite as book described, but maybe this is what Disney was already rewriting it to be? absolutely captures the PRESENCE of Ysabelle in Death's house tho

This is purely "pop culture has ruined me" but for the first day kept reading "Mort" as "Morty" each time its there, right. as In Rick and Morty almost kinda works in that hilarious awkward way, as for MOST of the book everyone keeps referring to him as "boy" and he corrects "Mort" Every. Single. Time. So did my brain kept forcefully correcting and rereading the name each time, to get it right ahhh Mortimer, we really in it this time

so basically Discworld summaries is literal shitposts. Perfectly accurate, but they all come off this way! like, u try a good summary that isn't spoilers: "if Meet Joe Black was B-story to Great Expectations" that is my summary for this book, make up your own when you ready!

*flipping thru notes* the scene with the thieves was fav funny bit: the dashes swears being so effortlessly pronounced! Also reannual plants!!! a throwaway joke that'll get reused like…10 books later

Geography notes: All the diff places have diff rulers here, all their own city-states. Sto Lat has a King, Ankh-Porpork has Patrician, Djelibeybi had pharaohs? ("sto lat" if the T is softened up & the "a" is sounded out like "eh" it very much sounds like "100 years" in russian. Make of that what you will) When they mention Klatchian and whatnot - The Seriphate of Klatch, desert country, across the sea. At this point of the books, a world-map hasn't been properly created (didn't bother until the late-90s) so don't worry about keeping some places straight. The important part is if a certain fiction VIBE is there, roll with it (it's probly another 2 pop-culture references holding up a pun)

A round of applause for Death naming his horse BINKY I like to headcanon that bebi~Ysabelle was allowed to name horses

Also, again a throwaway line, but SUCH A GOOD JOKE - Death commenting he gets his coins in pairs i read it, nodded, moved on… like an hour later the full meaning of the line smacked me upside the head

When they go to visit a certain dude ready for reincarnation - in real life, that name is a reference to a Tibetan monk … who turned out to be fake btw, buuuut he did published lots of books!

This book was written in the 80s, so i feel some stuff may have been more obvious to people closer to that pop~culture era Once we hit the mid-90s (later books duuh) …. u gonna be seeing it Every Line!! Like you know, if today I make a Seinfeld reference, half the room will give blank stares, and half will nod knowingly... LIKE THAT!

oh, and just a heads up goin ahead, as we will be meeting WIZARDS dog-Latin will happen! As in basically take a normal English phrase, and translate single words into latin, so it kinda forms a phrase? Not following any proper latin grammar rules.. but it looks fancy!

"I feel like there's opportunity to see how someone can lose themself in their work that it erases part of who they are" YES!!! you are a bit early on this point, but this is EXACTLY what will be happening to Mort, in a way….. don't wanna say too much, you will absolutely see it happening in the later part of the book

Ysabell is….. oh there's a reason she is the way she is, and there will be a fantastic scene which breaks it down. For the current moment, she is basically playing out The Great Expectation novel, what with being so stand-offish and constantly calling him "boy" Altho thats the entire b-plot in itself…. Sir Terry absolutely makes parts of all his books this way, and it never gets old!!

Princess Keli is …. ooooh boy is she a major plot point, not spoiling. The man does not write in anything needlessly, everything will come back in some way

YES YES YES 100 TIMES YES on certain puns needing a minute to…. "digest" or "sink in" as it were. There is ONE line in freakin Monstrous Regiment, that no joke, took me MONTHS! Like within the story it works a certain way [it works!! it makes perf in-fiction sense!], but then fast forward and us goin to see Beetlejuice musical and a song lyric suddenly snuck up and my brain went "hol…up… wait wait wait… motherfuck!!!" as the secondary meaning of the pun from the novel suddenly made too much sense! (which i then inflicted on a friend some weeks later, and his reaction was just as priceless)

This is the absolute wonder of Pratchett's writing - he will tell a great story, it will be very engaging! But on 2nd look… all these lil hidden puns and references and extra touches come thru, and it … just… SUDDENLY EVEN BETTER

[tasteofyourblood]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better!

tagged by @lovingpoet (hi bestie! 💕💕)

what book are you currently reading?

just finished On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by ocean vuong last week!! and kinda started albert camus' The Plague (and by kinda i mean like.. 2 pages)

what do you usually wear?

love me a good oversized jacket, high waist wide pants, and currently layers of turtleneck & sweaters y'know how it is but the keyword to my style is Loose

how tall are you?

5'6 i think, average female height which is HATE, god i wish i was tall

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event? 

aquarius & don't think so? (just googled, alicia keys that's interesting)

do you go by your name or a nickname?

nickname which started as like internet privacy thing but now it feels kinda weird even having irl ppl know my full name

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?  

HAH! i wanted to be a fashion designer so No but i am finally exploring clothesmaking as a hobby!!!!!!!!

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

good - languages & memorization. bad - planning aka impulsion (basically all the necessary precaution stuff for sewing & making clothes i Don't do and then suffer the consequences)

if you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? 

did a lot of glitter edits this year gkdfnfn and the first one i made for saw 2004 is still my fav 👌 exquisite (oh! also knit a cardigan, first even knit project! and started a dress project just last month)

dogs or cats?

cats, smth about cat content just Hits more than dog content for me.. Oh also!! my black cat Bean and the 4 stray cats that constantly visit my door now

what's something you would like to create content for?

i really really really wanna write a merlin fic someday, it's been on my mind for years but 1. i hate writing and 2. haven't had an idea that Sticks yet (ALSO WANNA MAKE A BEAUTIFUL BIG RED KNIGHT OF CAMELOT CAPE WITH THE DRAGON SIGIL AND ALL SOMEDAY)

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

not obsessed but just spent the last 2 months slowly binging seinfeld and just finished the finale this morning so (tis good 👍)

what's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

social event at work that turned out to be really awkward for me BUT! the 2nd one I went to ended up being a lot better :D

what’s a hidden talent of yours? 

words? idk i love long words so all that memorization during sat & gre studying i still remember And the word floccinaucinihilipilification that I learned from a child genius competition show probably back in 2014 or smth

what's something you wish to have at this moment? 

beautiful natural fiber fabric (preferably wool & linen AND LACE!) and all the knowledge of clothesmaking in all of history, PLEASE

tagging @inkmaze @mlentertainment @safodebuenosaires @eyeldritch @katealot @human-sweater-vest @lilmoonlad @meat-wentz and every other little molecule on this plane of existence 🪷🤙

[prcphesieslie]

“ family isn ’t about whose blood you carry . It ’s about who you love and who loves you back . ”

~ unknown

Look who just woke up- is that HAILEE SEINFELD? No, I must have been mistaken, that’s ANNALISE O'BRIEN from THE BASTARD SON AND THE DEVIL HIMSELF. I heard she is 20 and stuck here just like everyone else. Even in the 20’s, they still give off a FEARING ONES OWN POWERS BECAUSE IT IS NOT WHAT IS EXPECTED FROM THEIR KIND, STUBBORNLY RUSHING HEAD FIRST INTO DANGER FOR THE ONES WHO MATTER MOST, AGGRESSIVE SARCASM AND DRAMATIC EYEROLLING, FERAL CAT ENERGY impression. They’re known to be quite PROTECTIVE, but have a tendency to be STUBBORN on their bad days.

Gender/Pronouns ::

cis female ; she/her

How long have they been in Sydney ?

two weeks

Job ::

college student // tbd

barista // tbd

Which suburb do they live in ?

tbd

Memories of their real life ::

annalise is not from the book series !! she is from the netflix original tv show and the tv show only. that being said, she remembers through the end up the tv show. basic info :: annalise is a Fairborn Witch the power of decimation, which is very unusual for a Fairborn Witch as it's considered a 'dark power' that is most commonly found in blood witches. if you want more information, you can find it here !!

What was their fake life like ?

tbd looking for :: siblings parents friends coworkers fellow students

[seashellsoldier]

“The Nineties” by Chuck Klosterman (2022)

Klosterman has been around for a while, and you might best remember him from the fresh, but now-defunct Grantland website. For some reason I thought he worked for Rolling Stone, but it looks like Esquire and GQ were more his thing. Anyway, I read a “Briefly Noted” bit about this book in The New Yorker and bought the book because I’m solidly a Gen X-er, for whatever that means, and thought this would be a nice addition to my bookshelves. As his main strength, Klosterman does highlight the trivialities of pigeonholing any group of people under generational branding, and his sense of humor is quite nice, letting us know decades don’t magically transform on 01 JAN, which the Y2K chimera illustrates perfectly. He also reinforces how memories get twisted over time and accurately reconstructing the past isn’t as whimsical as one might want two decades after the experiences, and halcyon glasses are always greasy. Semantic memory and emotional memory are physiologically connected. History is important however. I would even say it’s crucial to learn and connect the dots on how we’ve gotten to where we have, as women’s autonomy, basic human rights, and the ability to make choices are rolled back to the 19th Century by Christo-fascist hypocrites. Look out, LGBTQ+ folks, you’ll be next in their crosshairs.

The Nineties is better as an eBook. It’s more of an encyclopedia of events with some personal insights tossed in. Wikipedia is good enough for most of these topics. Some subjects get more time spent on them while others are simple blips. Clear beverages (Zima and its ilk) have more pages than the US’s influence on Yeltsin’s 1996 reelection. I skipped over subjects I didn���t care about back then, and still don’t, such as baseball and football and pop music. Klosterman doesn’t dig into the Grunge Gold Rush, which was singularly propelled by MTV, but he does show how the music industry switched gears and “alternative” music was the dominant “pop” within two-to-three years. There were only a handful of bands that actually qualified as grunge-sounding, but capitalism is what it is. The physical analog world was limiting, but he offers acumen that is nostalgically cool: “Browsing through one’s album collection was a low-level Rorschach test. Limitations and scarcity made subjective distinctions meaningful” (p. 186). Then Napster came along and the music industry was forced to change. Now only the pop stars rake in huge profits through streaming, while everyone else makes peanuts.

The rise of the Internet is of course a fascinating topic and it’s easy to remember its beginning (for the most of us) as a simple, exploratory, innocent space, not the completely commodified and surveillance-filled cesspool that it is now. The dynamic changes to TV watching during the 90s, and how “the news” morphed poisonously, is also very important to analyze. I honestly miss the days when a show was on when it was on, or you programmed your VCR to record it; if you missed it, you got over it because there were other things in life far more important. Was Seinfeld really that important back then? (And, I never watched a single episode of f-ing Friends.) Now we’re addicted to screens everywhere, anything is almost always a few clicks away, and the tech manufacturers and media outlets and content-creators and governments know this intimately. While Blockbuster Video brought new horizons to every small town in the early 90s, streaming services and media outlets have now bastardized that dynamic into nothingness. Bathe in the glow of your palantír and enjoy.

Klosterman doesn’t mention Bosnia or Rwanda for whatever reasons. Metal music is and always will be outsider art, but at least Body Count gets a few pages for Copkiller, back when Neo-Cons still tried to ban music (now they’re just focused on books, how history is taught, and public libraries). Columbine and the 2000 election have a trove of books written about them, but Klosterman’s summaries offer a nice springboard to a deeper dive, if one is inclined to take the plunge. (Yes, us Ralph Nader voters—in Florida—might have lead to Bush II, but the politicized Supreme Court drove the last nail in, and that should be the focus of our ire.)

Memory is a terribly faulty thing. No group of people will share the same experiences from the same perspectives. An accurate retelling of events can help more people lock onto facts and hopefully break their cognitive dissonance, willful ignorance, and  confirmation biases that are consistently force-fed by disinformation and propaganda machines. When Klosterman briefly mentions Art Bell’s late-night AM radio show for wingnuts, we know now the almighty Internet has allowed that show to be everywhere, always, spreading like the disease it is. In a way, such things started in the 90s, and most all of us were completely unaware. No one can get away claiming ignorance any more.

And, as the Fates would have it, The New Republic (https://newrepublic.com/article/166758/america-1989-2001-foreign-policy-lost-weekend) shares reflections on how the 1990s were squandered in so many ways.

[televinita]

It’s time to play...

The fandom survey that dollsome-does-tumblr so courteously brings over from LJ! a.k.a. the true reason I posted that list of shows and also fave movies earlier. I’ve wussed out on most of the most interesting questions (#11 specifically), but still had a blast writing an unwieldy pile of words.

1. Favorite fictional characters this year

Danny, Lexi, Father Chuck and Aiden Shaw (Blood & Treasure)

Literally the entire original cast of Abbott Elementary, although Jacob is on thin fucking ice with that undercut in season 2, with a special shout-out to the delightful bonkers-ness that is Principal Ava

Both versions of Mark (Severance)

Brad (as played by Danny Pudi) on Mythic Quest

Ghosts Hetty & Pete (CBS Ghosts)

Al & Lizzie (United States of Al)

Alex (and her flippin’ adorable 3-year-old) in Maid

Anyone else listed in question 2

2. Favorite ships this year

DANNY/LEXI (Blood & Treasure)

CLAIRE/OWEN (Jurassic World)

Alan/Ellie (Jurassic World)

Robert/Giselle (Enchanted)

Janine/Gregory (Abbott Elememtary)

Mark/Helly (Severance)

Erik/Helen (Sweet Magnolias)

Jay/Daisy ("Barefoot")

Fell down the rabbit hole of revisiting Daniel/Irene and Johnny/Joyce during the Siberia rewatch

And Densi always, in the background (NCIS: LA)

3. Favorite TV shows to watch this year

Blood & Treasure!, The Amazing Race, The Chase, Maid, Ghosts, Abbott Elementary, The Exes, and an apparently infinite ability to rewatch random eps of Community & Seinfeld

4. Favorite books read this year

(not necessarily in this order)

5. Favorite song, album, or artist to listen to this year

Taylor Swift ended up my most-played artist on Spotify due to me scheduling 3 of her albums for me-release (a.k.a. I hear them for the first time as if they are new releases: the Taylor’s Versions and folklore).

Tied with Josh Groban, whose music basically comprised all of my listening from April through June, most of which was not via Spotify.

6. Favorite movies of the year

Done :)

7. Favorite TV show episodes of the year

See, this is the kind of thing that’s easier to answer when you watch shows as they air...ugh! All right. I can try this, at least w/ shows that aired this year.

Blood & Treasure: 2x04, 2x06 and 2x08 (Into the Forbidden Zone; Mystery at Poison Island; The Lost City of Sana)

The Amazing Race: season 33 finale

Abbot Elementary: 1x11 (Desking); 2x06 (Candy Zombies); 2x10 (Holiday Hookah), probably more tbh

8. First fandom of the year

It’s a tie between “holy crap I love The Amazing Race” and revisiting Blood & Treasure season 1, which occurred near simultaneously with my random love for the original video game series Uncharted.

(Honestly, watching husband play Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End for most of January, while I sat next to him alternating between reading and paying attention, was one of the coziest times in my life.)

9. Best new fandom discovery of the year

Oh, for sure Abbott; it is not often that a comedy can make me care about the characters and think about them beyond the weekly episode.

Unless we count the fact that this is the first time I actually dove into the fandom aspect of Jurassic World, in which case: that by a mile.

10. Biggest fandom disappointment of the year

A) I honestly can’t think of any bummers except the Blood & Treasure S2 DVD being expensive as hell and having no extras beyond a 2-minute gag reel (that they released online anyway). Which, considering it was locked up on a streaming service while airing, I AM grateful it’s on DVD at all + I do love a gag reel, but...season 1 had deleted scenes on every episode and I really wanted more of those, ideally plus some BTS stuff about filming since this is one of the few shows where I care about every little aspect of the production.

A-2) If I’m being really picky, I am disappointed that the one shippy thing I didn’t get in season 2 was any sort of pillow talk or other snuggling in bed. I got everything else under the sun I could possibly want, sure, but not my favorite.

B) and I am of course generally disappointed in HBO Max for being a little bitch and disappearing so much of its content. None of it was relevant to me and this is the last streaming service I would ever pay for, but that sets a scary precedent.

C) I just learned that DCC: Making the Team has officially been canceled after 16 seasons, the last one covering the 2021 season. Aww. Guess I only have 1.5 left unseen. (supposedly the organization is “in the process of negotiating a new partnership and [looks] forward to continuing to feature the DCC on a new platform,” whatever that means, but that was in April.)

11. Biggest squee moments of the year

I should honestly make a new post about this, because my brain is mostly a  blur of ideas re: --

* The nine thousand seven hundred and forty-four squee-worthy Claire/Owen and general found-family bits in Dominion

* every episode of Blood & Treasure S2 (I really do need to make a new post to count all the shippy bits up -- kisses and I-thought-you-were-dead moments and two other near-death experiences and reunion hugs and, and, !!!)

* THE KISS (Severance)

* Valor giving me exactly what I came for in terms of intense makeout sessions and two gunshot wounds

* too many family and/or shippy bits to count (still) in Disenchanted -- here are some of them -- and also a very unexpected yet soul-fulfilling “I used to be good at things :( “

(sidebar, I am still a MESS OF FEELINGS about the lyric I thought I’d found a place where I could makes things better / but all I did was change where I would fail. GISELLE!!)

* post-danger bed snuggles (NCIS: LA) and adoption joy!

...huh, that is actually more squee than I remember, good to know.

12. Favorite main character of the year (see #1) 13. Favorite villain of the year

"The Great Khan” on Blood & Treasure :)

14. Favorite m/f ship of the year

Danny/Lexi. Not even Claire & Owen took me to the stars like them.

15. Favorite f/f ship of the year

Normally I got nothin’ here but I would endorse the idea of Violet / Lexi in their younger days

16. Favorite m/m ship of the year

I got nothin’. The Klaine Stands Alone.

17. Your fictional true love of the year

Guess. (although, honestly, there were some fantastic dudes in books who could compete in this category too. In fact, here are my four favorites --

A. Joshua Avery (Before I Called You Mine) B. Everett St. James (Very Sincerely Yours) C. Adam Bradford (Lake Season) D. Jack forgot-his-last-name (Lease on Love)

18. Fandom that you never expected to get into

Honestly I’m still pretty stunned I found anything to enjoy about Severance and Mythic Quest at all.

Also, Hit the Floor is definitely not something I’d have been able to stand before I fell in love w/ the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders show. The fact that it is continuing to hold my interest despite having zero ships to root for and a maximum of two arguably handsome men is truly something.

19. Fandom that made an unexpected comeback

SIBERIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (plz watch it) (it’s on Tubi plz plz watch it)

20. Last fandom of the year

Valor or Hit the Floor

21. Overall favorite fandoms of the year (see #22) 22. Your main fandoms throughout the year

2022 will forever be the year of The Amazing Race, Jurassic World and Blood & Treasure* (*part II)

23. The most missed of your old fandoms

I do miss when there was an official @nbcsiberia​ Tumblr that interacted with us all

24. Fandom resolutions for next year

Find/watch more shows with shippy kicks! Finally watch the shows on my watchlist* instead of whatever low-emotional-impact nonsense I can find on a streaming service! #MyGoalsAreVerySpecific.

(*maybe this should also be its own post; I really need to make A Plan)

On a serious note, maybe finish posting my semi-to-entirely complete fics over on AO3. I thought finally making an account was the only obstacle to my inertia and everything would be fine once I posted my first fic, but nope! Still a monumental effort to convince myself to put anything out in the world.

25. Fandom predictions for next year

????????????

(I’ve been thinking for a week but I have nothing)

[marlowe1-blog]

The Stories of John Cheever: Introduction

Is this where I write the post? I guess it is. Been awhile since I’ve been on Tumblr. I would just put this on my dreamwidth, but I’ve been feeling tumblr lately for weird projects like this one. 

The original intention was to actually use Tumblr to finish reading Les Miserables. It was the book that I couldn’t finish reading in high school because Victor Hugo couldn’t be bothered to get to the plot. Most people who read that book just read the abridged version which is something that i recommend. Mostly because when the plot gets going, it’s amazing, and the “hey would you like to hear about the battle of Waterloo for 70 pages” is extraneous. 

Only I’m older now. I’ve read Moby Dick. I’ve read War & Peace AND Anna Karenina (I even enjoyed the farming scenes). I read Tom Jones. I’m not reading Pamela unless somehow I get more patrons for this Les Miserables thing and they want me to keep going. 

But before I tackle Les MIserables and basically place my freely chosen pocket book choice on hold for months, I have to finish reading the book that I’m reading now. 

WHich is the Stories of John Cheever. KNown to be a drunk, the guy who wrote that story about the dude swimming, inspiration for Mad Men, the lover of George’s girlfriend’s father in that Seinfeld episode. 

So here’s the preamble. I don’t just read dead white guys but in Tumblr it looks like I am. Feel free to go over to https://marlowe1.dreamwidth.org/ for my yearly breakdown and reviews of books that I’ve read. 

Also patreon.com/timlieder to give me money. 

[dameronology]

can i request from your agnst song lyrics list 1) "i had all of you, most of you, some and now none of you" - the night we met, lord huron? maybe from nat’s perspective bc she lost reader please? 🥺

of course!! i hope u enjoy <3 this came out in a weird format but ?? we move

natasha romanoff + ""i had all of you, most of you, some and now none of you"

Natasha could count the five occasions on her right hand during which she knew she was going to lose you. As each one passed, she could tell that you were slipping away bit by bit; at first, it was just a little. A tiny bit of distance, but something you could bounce back from. Then it became a deeper and deeper divide, until she'd passed the point of no return and lost you completely. The worst part was that she knew it was happening. She was fully aware that you were slipping through her fingers and she had done nothing to stop. There was only one person to blame, and Nat knew who it was.

The first time she knew was when she'd missed an important dinner date - a cliche, really. It had happened to everyone at some point or another but this one? It had been a particularly important one. A big PR night for the Avengers, where she'd promised to be by your side and help put on a united front. You'd set a reminder on her phone, written it on the calendar in her office, and even sent her a final text on the big day. Then her meeting had overran, and she had a conference call, and four hours later, the realisation hit her like a truck. She'd forgotten. She'd taken on too much work and let you down.

"I am so sorry!" Nat burst in the room, fiery hair all over the place. She had quickly come in a rush, and her less than subtle entrance only brought more embarrassment to the warmth on your cheeks. "I was working, and I lost track of time-"

"- you had one job, Natasha," you hissed. Standing up from the dinner table, you awkwardly moved over to her and shoved a glass of champagne in her hands. "You said you had booked the day off weeks ago."

"There isn't a day off when you're an Avenger," she softly reminded you. But, the presence of Bucky, Steve, Tony, Peter and literally every other fucking super-hero in New York told you other-wise.

"Yeah, I know," you murmured. "C'mon, let's just sit down."

"I really am sorry, honey," Nat pushed.

"I know," you repeated. "Just...be on your best behaviour for the rest of the evening."

You'd written it off as a blip; so what if Natasha had made a mistake? Despite all her prior accomplishments, she was a human being. Work was important to her and you totally got that. It was important to you as well, and you had always supported each other.

More than anything, you were just grateful it had been a work related incident than anything. The first few months of your relationship had been plagued with Nat pushing you away and consistently shutting you out - it had taken a long time for her to open up to you, and even longer for her to trust you. You were glad whatever argument had come her mess-up hadn't been her doing the same all over again.

Or so you'd hoped - because the second time she felt you slipping away? It was a little more serious.

"Natasha," you sighed, "you need to tell me these things."

"It's nothing, I promise," she murmured.

"A gunshot wound isn't nothing!" you countered. "The worst part is that I found out about it from Bucky's Snapchat story."

She frowned. "Bucky has Snapchat?"

"Yeah, he meant to to send it to Steve, but accidentally posted it publicly instead," you gave a derivative snort. "But that aside, you can't keep things like that from me. I thought we didn't have secrets. Nat."

"We don't, sweetheart," Nat replied. "I just didn't want to scare you."

"You scared me more by not telling me," you shot back. "Just...please tell me next time? Don't keep me out the loop."

She forced a smile. "I won't."

But she did.

So much so, in fact, that you found yourself almost losing Natasha completely. She would no longer tell you about where she was going on missions, or when she would be back - it was all just a giant question mark. And not that dissimilar from how it had been at the beginning of your relationship. She'd been secretive, then; keeping you out the loop and not opening up when she clearly experienced something traumatic.

You'd always been there for her, but you didn't want to force it either. You were just hyperaware that you were the only person you spoke too, and if she stopped talking to you? That meant she was bottling it all up. That was never healthy.

"Steve said there were deaths," you called after Natasha, helplessly following her through your shared apartment. "Five men down, Nat, and you don't even want to talk about it a little?"

"I'm not good at talking," Nat muttered. She stalked through to the bedroom, throwing her go-bag into the back of the wardrobe. "Don't force me."

You stopped in your tracks. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just...I don't want you to bottle it up, y'know? That's not good for you. I guess I'm just letting you know that the offer is there."

"Thank you," Nat forced a smile. Again. "I appreciate it."

"I also don't want you to shut me out," you continued. "I've been through that with you before and I don't want to do it again. It almost killed both of us."

"Hey, I'm sorry," her face fell, and she softly reached out, pulling you into a hug. "I won't shut you out. I promise."

Natasha managed to break both of her promises; the one about keeping you in the loop, the one about not shutting you out.

It came naturally to her, you see. She was a solitary person; raised by design to be self-sufficient and to not let anyone in. At the Red Room, finding support in others had been a sign of weakness and try as she might, Natasha couldn't shake the habits that were engrained into her brain. She wanted to - for you, she really did - but it was hard.

It didn't take long for things to come to a head. You weren't an idiot; you knew when Natasha was icing you out. It had hurt too much the first time round and there was no guarantee that you'd have it in you to see it through a second time. You figured that space might be good - not a break up, but just some time apart.

"Natasha, we need to talk."

She hated the words as soon as they left your mouth - so did you. There was never a good conversation that started with we need to talk. It was always either a separation or an ultimatum, and you were too tired for the latter. Proposing a break seemed like the best thing for you both.

Nat frowned. "What's up?"

"I won't beat around the bush," you began. "I think we should take some time apart."

You could see Natasha's face fall instantly, but she couldn't deny it that it hadn't come as a shock. Something - a trial separation, a break-up, an argument - had been brewing for a while. She was just good at dancing around it.

"Really?"

"Yeah," you admitted. "We're both tired and it feels like we're slipping back towards how things used to be."

"You're right," she agreed. "I'm sorry. You know I love you, right?"

You smiled. "I know - I figured you could use the time to work out what you want. See if you wanna talk to someone professionally, or if you just want to...y'know."

"Know what?"

"If you want to break-up permanently," you finished the sentence with a wobble in your voice. "Ball's in your court, Nat."

The ball was in her court - and she basically let it deflate.

Because for Natasha, emotions were scary. You'd left the apartment with a promise between you that she would be the one to make the final call.

A month and I'll call you, is she what she had said.

A month and I'll call you, is she what she had promised.

It was a slow month. You didn't hear from Natasha at all; when you went to collect your mail from the apartment, she was out. She barely showed her face at the office these days and her presence on social media was gone. Her name no longer popped up on the viewers list for your Instagram or Snapchat story. There were no more good morning texts.

Then that slow month turned in a slow five weeks. Then six. Then seven. Then two months had passed, and you hadn't heard a single thing.

Not until a cold Monday evening, when you were holed up in your new apartment watching an old episode of Seinfeld. The presence of your friends, paired with old sitcoms, was the only thing getting you through the Natasha-induced drought. A knock on the door only made it worst.

"One second!" you called.

Throwing your blanket aside, you put down your soup and shuffled over to the front door. Out of habit (one that Nat had taught you), you peered through the peephole - your heart practically stopped when you saw a head of red hair and green eyes. It was unmistakably your Natasha.

"Nat," you greeted her with a cold tone as you opened the door. "Fancy you making an appearance."

"I am so sorry," she began. "I just needed time. I needed time to think-"

"- I gave you a month!" you cut her off. "And I would have given you more if...if you had just asked. If you had just spoken to me, or communicated with me."

"I know," she murmured.

"No, Nat," you firmly said. "I don't think you do. I don't think you know at all - about what you're doing or how you're making me feel."

"I..." she trailed off. "I love you."

"You don't fucking act like it," you snorted. "I could deal with at first - all the miscommunications and random disappearances, but I'm done now."

"I just want one more chance - please?"

"No," you snapped. "You've made your bed. Now lie in it."

And she would; she would lie in it alone.