#basically just means I might have a lot of cysts which may need to be removed

[nubs-mbee]

Time to overshare onliiiiiiiiine! 🎶

I got my blood test back!! I do have a few levels that aren’t right, bilirubin (to be expected! I’ve got Gilbert’s syndrome so that’s normal), insufficient vitamin d (lol), aaaaand then a few things that indicate kidney disease or a possible kidney infection. Which the kidney disease would explain the infrequent kidney pain I’ve been having for… like a decade…. But I’m a little 🤔 about the results, because being dehydration can also cause those results. But I drank a lot of water the day before and the day of to make sure I *wouldnt* be dehydrated and could actually pee for my urine test lol. So I don’t think it makes sense for me to be dehydrated! And if I am, why tf is this water not hydrating me? That doesn’t really make sense. So idk! But I’ve gotten some answers for once so that’s definitely a step in the right direction : D

[ninjanonymous]

I’m pissed off, and sad, and scared, and I have a lot to say right now. This all needs to be said, for my own sake if not for anyone else’s.

Very recently, the Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that employers under the Affordable Care Act are now allowed to roll back access to birth control for their employees, as long as their religion disagrees with it. This ruling was made in the name of religious tyranny, and NOT that of religious freedom. Christian-run businesses can now force their beliefs onto their employees by actively denying them the healthcare that they very much need.

Can you imagine the outrage there would be if SCOTUS decided that it was suddenly okay for a Muslim-run business to break FLSA standards during Ramadan? After all, if a Christian-run business shouldn’t be forced to pay for all ACA-protected aspects of an employee’s healthcare, why should a Muslim-run business have to sacrifice profits when eating lunch during Ramadan is against their religion?

“Oh, but there are federal protections to keep something like that from happening.” Are there? Are there really? The ACA gave employees FEDERALLY PROTECTED access to birth control through their employers, because an employer’s religious beliefs shouldn’t be used to control the freedoms or hurt the wellbeing of others. Now look where we are.

This court ruling essentially dictates that religion can make you exempt from federally-mandated rules for the sake of profit. It puts the employer’s beliefs above the beliefs and wellbeing of their employees. It puts any company’s self-proclaimed God over the law, and allows them to forgo worker protections because, according to them, it’s what Jesus would want.

And where do we draw the line? Should a company that’s run by a Jehovah’s Witness be allowed to deny coverage for a needed blood transfusion? Can a religious company claim that any illness is a righteous punishment from God, and the use of modern medicine to treat it would be sinful? What would that mean for something as devastatingly expensive as cancer treatment? What if the CEO doesn’t agree with vaccines? And really, why even stop at access to healthcare when there are any number of ways that a company could encroach on their worker’s rights in the name of God?

Too many people in this country are entirely dependent on their employers for their health insurance. Healthcare costs in America are the highest in the western world by far, and life-saving treatment is often prohibitively expensive without it. This SCOTUS decision may ultimately deny many Americans their constitutional right to life.

Employers pay private insurance companies to provide care for their employees. This is a blanket expense. They don’t get an itemized bill for the healthcare that they’re covering. They’re paying for general healthcare coverage to be provided by insurance company, and that’s it. The employers are not the insurance companies themselves. They are not the ones processing the claims and choosing which to deny and which to cover. Your medical record is private, protected information. Your employer does not have access to that information under HIPAA. If your employer isn’t allowed in the room with you during your doctor’s appointment, they absolutely shouldn’t be allowed to pick and choose what care you can and can’t receive.

These companies are literally just saying, “see that person right there? I don’t like that they’re on birth control, because I’M a Christian, and that’s against MY beliefs, so now THEY can’t have it.” A Christian forcing their beliefs onto someone else isn’t religious freedom, just like a Muslim forcing their beliefs onto a Christian wouldn’t be. This is religious tyranny the and Christian-backed persecution of women.

And for this specific ruling, it really is that arbitrary. This ruling is a poorly-disguised move to further strip away the rights of women in the name of Abrahamic theocracy. The idea that this decision would save money for these employers is completely asinine, considering good reproductive healthcare and access to birth control reduces long-term costs overall (I will be adding the stats and sources to back this up in a later post).

And here’s an important reminder for you all: reproductive healthcare is still basic healthcare. Taking care of one’s needs regarding their reproductive system benefits their overall health. And even if you disagree with me there, “birth control” is a pretty damn big misnomer. While it is commonly used to prevent unwanted pregnancies, there are a myriad of other reasons that a woman might need it for.

Birth control can control hormonal acne. My own mother was put on it for this reason back when she was a teenager.

It can be used to help regulate one’s mood. A dear friend of mine is on it for this reason. She suffers from severe depression, occasionally to the point of suicidal ideation. I am fucking terrified about what this court decision could mean for her.

It reduces one’s chances of getting uterine cancer. I have a family history of uterine cancer, and it can be hard to detect. They only found it in my grandmother by chance when they were performing an unrelated surgery.

It reduces your chances of forming ovarian cysts. Women with PCOS often suffer from these, and they can be quite painful. My mother had to have a football-sized ovarian cyst removed from her abdomen, and histology found that it contained pre-cancerous cells.

It can relieve symptoms of PMS and PMDD. Again, this is a form of hormonal mood regulation, as well as a means of controlling many of the unfortunate physical side effects of the menstrual cycle. PMS and PMDD are often topics of ridicule, but their symptoms can have a serious negative impact on one’s day-to-day life. I’ll add more information on this later, since there’s a lot to cover.

It can help regulate one’s menstrual cycle. For reasons I shouldn’t have to explain, knowing when blood and viscera is going to start pouring out of your crotch really helps with being prepared to deal with it. It also helps to avoid really embarrassing situations in public, or the need to clean bloodstains out of clothes and furniture. Irregular periods are a gruesome guessing game. I’ve been there. I don’t want to go back.

It can make your periods less painful. Periods happen when, once a month, the uterus sheds its inner lining. As in, the person having their period is bleeding internally, because one of their organs is shredding and expelling parts of itself from the inside. That shit hurts. Many women have reported vomiting or passing out from period pain. For me, the average period cramp can be compared to really bad gas or diarrhea pain. You know, the kind that has you breaking out into cold sweats on the toilet while you silently beg for mercy to any god that might be listening. Fun, right? I’d recon my pain level is about the average, too.

It can be used to manage menstrual migraines. Did you know some women get migraines in conjunction with their periods? Migraines are debilitating. Imagine having them chronically, getting them frequently around the same time every month, then being denied affordable access to the one medicine that was keeping it in check because your asshole boss says that Jesus wants you to suffer. Bonus points if you get fired because the migraines had a negative impact on your ability to work.

It can reduce your risk of anemia. Some women get really heavy periods. Like, crazy heavy, to the point where they bleed so much that it’s unhealthy. Technically speaking, I fall into this camp. I’d hemorrhage to the point of needing a transfusion if I went long enough without birth control. Gee, I sure hope the insurance-throttling company that I work for isn’t run by a Jehovah’s Witness.

Birth control is the only non-invasive way to control uterine fibroids, which often go hand-in-hand with endometriosis. These are non-cancerous growths within or around the uterus can cause uncontrolled bleeding, and may be quite painful in and of themselves. A ridiculously high number of women have this, myself included. Most women that have them have no or very few symptoms. I was not so lucky.

And that’s just a few of birth control’s many uses. And actually, let me talk about my fibroids some more for a second, just so you all have a better idea of what it means to live with this shit. TMI time. I take birth control. I’ve been taking it regularly for about five years now. I’ve never had sex before, and I don’t plan on it any time soon. This is the one and only reason I’m on the pill.

Five years ago, during my freshman year of college, I started bleeding out of the blue. Really, really badly. This “spotting” was sudden, and heavy, and unrelenting. I’d completely bleed through a super tampon in less than two hours, when one of those would last a good eight hours on my heaviest day during a normal period. I had to sleep with towels on the bed, and set an alarm to wake up early so I could take deal with the shed blood before it got too bad, and to give myself extra time for cleanup before classes. After going from horizontal to vertical for the first time in several hours, getting to the bathroom was a race against time and gravity.

I lived like this for a full month. Tampons and pads, for those of you that have had the privilege of never needing to buy them, can get really pricey. Doubly so for a broke college student, triply so when they need to be extra-large packs containing extra-large products, and quadruple-y so when that broke college student is still managing to bleed through those products at an absurd rate. And, it hurt. The pain was worse than usual; the camps were sharper, more persistent, and sometimes it felt like someone was jabbing a big needle into my abdomen and twisting it around. I was taking OTC painkillers constantly, and they barely made a dent in the pain.

The bleeding started just over a week after my last period had ended, so it was way too early for it to be my next cycle. I figured that maybe my cycle was syncing up to my roommate, or some other chick on my floor had some weird hormonal imbalance, and the outside interference from other people’s hormones was screwing with me enough to make my own body act weird. I figured I’d just have to wait out this one bad period, and everything would settle back down to normal. But, two weeks passed and absolutely nothing changed. The bleeding wasn’t slowing down, and I started to get worried that it wasn’t just an abnormal period. I waited a couple more days, then booked an appointment at the health center. It was more than a week until they could see me.

The consensus was fibroids. They couldn’t give me an official diagnosis without an ultrasound, but all signs pointed to that one conclusion. They said that the only way to make the bleeding stop was by taking birth control. I wasn’t happy about it, since my mom had me convinced that birth control would actually increase my risk of cancer (not true, as I later found out), but I agreed anyway. The nightmare was over a few days later.

So, off topic but still related, I had surgery on my foot a couple months ago. It had to be immobilized for a while, and I was put on blood thinners to prevent any clots from forming while I recovered. Birth control pills can actually increase the risk of blood clots, so I made the choice to hold off on taking those for a while, just as an added precaution. Sure enough, only five days later, the bleeding and the pain was back. Again, it had been only a week since my last period.

I still need to be on birth control. It is a medical necessity for me. My fibroids are still around, and I’ll still spot and cramp up if I miss a pill. I’ve recently been told by my doctor that a permanent fix, and my only other option for treatment, is a hysterectomy. I am 22 years old. Most surgeons would never dream about performing that procedure on me, even if it didn’t already come with its own health risks.

And hell, even if it is used just to prevent pregnancies, what gives someone else the right to deny a woman her bodily autonomy? Human beings are sexual creatures. They’re going to fuck, regardless of whatever laws or religious doctrines are involved. We are quite literally built to have sex, and it’s entirely healthy to do so. There are plenty of peer-reviewed studies that go into detail on the matter; just hop onto Google Scholar and see for yourself. And, maybe, preventing pregnancy is a need in and of itself. What if a woman has a condition that would make pregnancy extremely high-risk? Is she not justified in taking birth control to protect herself from grievous injury? If she’s married to a man, does that married couple not have a right to sleep together without fear of one of them literally dying for it? Even by Christian standards, it doesn’t seem right.

This decision that the Supreme Court has made is utterly shameful, and countless law-abiding American citizens will now be denied access to needed care that they otherwise couldn’t afford without insurance coverage. This is truly a loss for America and her people, and one that will cause suffering for decades to come.

[wearesorcerer]

For the d&d meme: 2 and 3

YAY! AN ASK! (Ahem.)

|| 2.) Your favorite character that someone else has played. ||

This one is kinda hard. Not counting Collectivists (it’s Moxie) or one’s I’ve not witnessed in play, I’ma have to say Mikey.

Mikey was a friend’s bareknuckle boxer Fighter (because this was 3.5 and he was taking after his Bard father, who wasn’t Lawful). The character was woefully suboptimal, but did an excellent job of becoming one of the two hearts of our fairly large party (the other was the idiot halfling rogue/sorcerer; long story) and got lucky in fights for quite a while, so we all naturally gravitated towards the character’s generic charisma (no, I have no idea what his actual stat was).

Unfortunately for us, he got coup de graced on a side quest we were doing because half of the players couldn’t attend a session and the DM decided to have us investigate goblins or orcs or something. The chieftain knocked him unconscious, then took the opportunity to cleave him in twain. T_T

|| 3.) Your favorite side quest. ||

I don’t actually have a favorite, so instead I’m going to tell you about the most memorable. Same campaign. This one overtook the main plot. Be warned: it’s long. It’s also why I don’t care for side quests.

This was our DM’s first time running a homemade campaign and his second time DMing ever (the first was the semester before, when he ran the module The Standing Stone; it ended in a hilarious near-TPK). We started in a tavern (like you do) not knowing each other (like you do). Thanks to the halfling’s backstory, we all got drawn into a barroom brawl against a local criminal. That pretty much formed our party and got us hired to investigate a cult of Nerull that had taken up in a nearby abandoned temple (of Pelor, IIRC).

During the boss fight against a couple of higher-up cultists (I forget how many, but one had swords or something), one of the enemy casters decided that it would be a good idea to place a necrotic cyst on the halfling.

There are EVER so many reasons why this was a terrible idea.

Necrotic cyst is a 2nd-level spell from Libris Mortis (pg. 68) on the Cleric and Sorcerer/Wizard lists (meaning we’re fighting 3rd- to 4th-level casters). On a successful melee touch (spell) attack, the target has to make a Fort (Con) save; failure means they get implanted with the eponymous cyst. Depending on where they were touched, they might not even know they bear it. The cyst does two things:

Makes the target more susceptible to necromantic stuff. -2 on saves against Necromancy spells and effects, but also +1d6 damage from the natural weapons of undead.

Enables the use of other spells. There are nine other necrotic spells in Libris Mortis which rely on existing cysts. This was the main problem.

Before I get into why those other spells were the main problem, I need to explain a few things about the metagame.

The DM was a touch...conservative, shall we say, with what he would and would not allow source-wise. Despite this, he had a penchant for picking up the latest splatbooks (non-setting specific and Eberron) and taking material from them. As a player, he mostly played Fighters and was not (at that time) big on mages; thus, he didn’t have a good grasp of what spells were and were not especially powerful based on (sometimes foreseeable) consequences.

The halfling was intended to be a dual-wand wielding sneak-a-sniper, so went Rogue/Sorcerer. Because of what this build required, he put many of his early levels into Sorcerer instead of Rogue when we needed a party Rogue, yet somehow managed not to cast much of anything. In the end, he was terrible at literally everything except lying.

Naturally, the enemy caster succeeded at planting the cyst on the halfling. I’m not sure why the caster felt the halfling (not just a halfling, but a halfling child) was the best choice for harboring a cyst that’s designed to screw with the enemy long-term and we had plenty of other party members who could have served for such a host, but whatever. The halfling failed his save and BAM! We’re in trouble.

Like I said, necrotic cyst enables nine other spells -- almost like a Cleric domain, as the others span 1st through 9th levels (no cantrips). However, they all require the caster to possess a ��mother cyst” (a flavorful feat tax; eh).

The 1st-level spell is yet another detect something spell, but it only detects necrotic cysts. Meh, but it means that we can’t go anywhere near these cultists without them knowing we’re there.

It was probably the 3rd-level spell, necrotic bloat, that was the reason we felt the need to get rid of the cyst in the first place: the caster deals Level x d6 damage (so 5d6 to 6d6) to the target and half of that damage is “Vile” (horribly evil, can only be healed within the area of a consecrate or hallow spell).

I say this because we were never told (or I forgot if we were told; this was 14ish years ago) why the halfling was reduced to something like 1 HP, but the halfling was basically out of commission entirely as we struggled to figure out what we could do.

That was months of out-of-game time.

First, we turned to my character’s mother, a Dwarven Cleric; she was unable to do much, sadly.

Then we heard about an enclave of elven druids who might be able to remove the cyst. They were on the other side of the mountains, so it would be a long journey to get to them and it wasn’t assured that they could (or would) help us.

So we journeyed.

And were constantly waylaid by undead. Lots of undead. Lots of weird undead. (The DM had fun dragging up monsters from Monster Manual III, which I’d written off at that point. He did this largely because I had, but slightly because he had a hard-on for Eberron shit.)

We did manage to get to the enclave of elves and had them remove the cyst. The halfling’s player felt like they got to do basically nothing the entire time, another player switched out characters twice (one was boring due to how he made it, the other died; the third one developed mysanthropy [became a wererat] resulting in awesomeness), a third player spot rotated at least three times, and we had traded the quite fun Mikey for the Paladin no one liked, so we were not having fun.

It was after the enclave that we (well, I) realized something: we were being scryed upon. Our DM finally told us about necrotic scrying.

As it turns out, the 2nd-level cyst spell functions almost identically to scrying, but only on subjects with necrotic cysts (it also has a few other, largely meaningless drawbacks). Scrying is a monster of a spell, which is why it’s a 4th level spell by default on the Druid and Sorcerer/Wizard spell lists (that’s 7th class level for the prepared casters and 8th for Sorcerers); Clerics treat it as a 5th-level spell (10th class level), Bards as 3rd (because they maxed at 6th-level spells in 3.x, so they got it at the same time as Wizards). A caster with scrying can manipulate events from far, far away with little effort; it’s the spell for a BBEG for many campaigns. Making it a 2nd-level spell just makes it scarier.

It was at this point that I yelled at the DM:

If you give a continent-spanning cult of evil an easy means of scrying, you’ve given its upper echelons full access to the ACTUAL spell.

The ordinary spell scrying relies on familiarity; it’s one of the few instances of sympathetic magic in the game. By enabling someone an easier way to scry on one character and putting that someone into a large organization in a low-rung position, you’ve given the higher-ups a means of seeing the rest of the party and thus the ability to scry on them through normal means.

Meaning that the cyst became obsolete not long after the first casting of necrotic scrying.

Meaning the undead continued to bother us every night (and somehow never get seen on watches) even after we got the cyst removed.

The next step was to look up a means of blocking scrying. Our other caster having left the party long, long ago (player went to grad school) and our halfling being utterly useless, we had to track down a magic item to shield us from scrying.

So the DM made us negotiate with a dragon to get one out of its hoard.

The dragon could have easily killed us, for the record. It was astonishing that we were able to get the thing at all. Somehow, we got some like two other items, one of which was a cape of the mountebank...

...that the halfling promptly stole that night while everyone slept and used to abandon the party.

It was only after this point that we managed to get back to the main plot. We had been playing for a little over a year, may have been at fifth level at that point (it might have taken longer), and had next to no magic items (other than the anti-scrying device and maybe something else we got from the hoard). We got maybe two sessions after that before getting TPKed.

[phoenix-angel-suyari]

Mi Gente, I’m going to be 1000% honest with you. (New followers, I am SO sorry!)

But, I’m going to do it behind a cut because I care about you and you should be able to scroll past unburdened. Absolutely no judgement here. (Phone app users, again, I am so sorry.) 

I am not okay. 

To be fair, I don’t think any of us are right now. It’s a really rough time to be living through and I do think for the most part, we’re all doing our best and that’s all we can really ask for. 

But we touch in with each other, and everyone is being really delicate about it. We’re so concerned about laying even more on other people - especially people we care about, who care about us - that no one’s really being honest. Oh, sometimes you get a bit of it, here and there. No one really expects anyone to be thriving, but I don’t think we’re having very many open conversations about what this is doing to us. And because I can literally feel myself sliding at the moment, I figure, I may as well start. 

Because I am at an exceptionally high risk for covid, I was essentially locked down by my own medical team fairly early. Which means I was already in isolation before it became a thing that was asked of everyone else. So, I have a little more time in this box weighing me down.

Let’s get the basics out of the way just to catch up, for anyone who may be reading this who are unfamiliar. I suffer from Depression, Debilitating Migraines, Insomnia, Asthma, IBS, Dysmenorrhea, Ovarian Cysts, Uterine Fibroids. Tachycardia, Hypertension, Diabetes & Declining Liver Function. The last four of which are a direct result of being treated for the first two for 22 years with severely heavy doses of prescription medication. Which has also affected my Kidneys. (I used to be an organ donor. The irony.) With seven major organs regularly telling me to go fuck myself and expanding on the amount of medication I need to take on a daily basis just to keep functioning, I was told in no uncertain terms that if I contracted covid, my chances of survival would be low at best. I am a person who lives from appointment to appointment. I have a very dedicated team of doctors who work very hard to help me find a balance. But, I am also an individual who is getting constant tests as a means to keep my treatment up to date. And I haven’t been able to get any of those done, for obvious reasons. I am a person who requires regular physical therapy in order to keep my prescription requirements from increasing (as my doctors are trying to keep me on the least amount of prescription medication as possible) and I haven’t been able to get that assistance. But, the absolute worst bit by far is that protecting myself from covid has made me completely dependent on my abusers. 

I am absolutely trapped here, with them. I cannot leave. It’s not just food and shelter anymore. They’re the ones going out. They’re the ones picking up my medications (of which I no longer have any privacy - but that’s a whole other story for another day). They’re the ones making all the decisions. Everything from the food to the sanitary products, to how time is being spent. I have lost all agency and every day the strain of that gets worse and worse.    

I am luckier than some, I know, because I have both a Psychiatrist and a Therapist and I had them prior to the outbreak, which means that at the very least I am getting mental health care, where there are so very many who need it and cannot seem to find it now. But, it also can only do so much. Our mental health care workers are stretched so thin and are doing the best they can. But, I feel like part of that means they are prioritizing things in different ways from their patients. 

My therapist and I have to work around my invasive, intrusive family. She talks and I mostly make appropriate noises and agreements because I am not free to speak with her. She asks me to elaborate and I can’t. We are constantly interrupted. And then she gives me homework and I have to wait for my connection to work to look into said homework and it always ends up being way more than I can process. I have tried to explain to her that I cannot do many of the things she suggests because of how it will upset the balance in the household. She is getting frustrated with my lack of initiative. In her office she would always start her sessions saying, “This is a safe space.” And it was, because it was far removed from any potential session subjects. But, I am not. And I will not be for some time. 

I do not have my own money. Which means anything I need must be weighed by how much I am willing to exchange for receiving it. My entire life right now revolves around maintaining a very fragile peace for my own continued survival. I do not have my own home. So I have to maintain a stable subsistence by any means necessary for my own well being. Growth and healing are simply not possible in this scenario. The only thing that matters is not upsetting the status quo. I absolutely cannot afford to do anything that might compromise my position because if I do, it could literally be a death sentence. 

I have so many wonderful friends. Truer family to me than any blood could ever hope to be. Without some of whom, I would be in far more dire straights. And I want you to know that I love and appreciate every one of you. I am so grateful for your presence in my life. 

That being said, according to my Therapist, all of my relationships are measured in exchange. Wherein I am apparently compelled to provide a service in order to accept any sentiment show toward myself. I am driven by a need to earn my relationships and any intimacy derived therein. And, I may not be able to fix much, but I wanted to say that if anyone reading this has ever felt that way, like our friendship was weighed down with a need for provision, then I want to say now that I am so very sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way and if that was a reason you felt a need to distance yourself or pull away or leave, I absolutely respect that and I sincerely apologize for any actions on my part that lead you to have to make that sort of decision. It was unfair of me and even if I was unaware of it, I was still at fault. I hope you’re happier. I really, truly do. And if anyone feels that way now, I would appreciate it if you told me so I could actively try to work on it, because you are important to me. And it matters. 

So yeah...I am not okay. I am so very far from okay that I couldn’t find okay on a map. But, if you ask me, I will be polite about it, because that is what we do. I just wanted to take a minute and just be level with everyone. Because I feel like it’s not something any of us do enough because we’re so worried about being a burden, or being too much to handle, or like if we were honest even for a little bit we would lose the people in our lives we need most. And maybe some of them will go away, and if they do that’s a decision they have to make for their own health and safety. But, I also feel like we need to start having real conversations or we’re all just going to collapse. There’s no need to suffer in silence when there are so many people willing to be there for you. We need to be reminded of that more. 

Be kinder to yourself; especially now. Be a little more honest with the people you love. Sometimes all it takes is being there. All it takes is a little time. And I don’t know about the rest of you, but I certainly have a lot of that.

[the-writer-and-the-artist]

WE’RE ALIIIIVE

Mary (The Writer): Hey all, it’s been a minute! The Writer and the Artist are both here today to get you caught up on our individual stories. Things have been in flux lately and we had to take a bit of a break. But we’re back! This is probably going to be a bit silly but bear with us.

Sally (The Artist): Hey peoples, basically ^ what she said. We've been absent on our social media for awhile now and as we make our way back to posting more frequently and everything we wanted to share what's been going on. Just in the unlikely case that anyone had missed us or wanted to know what was happening…(Anyone? Anyone at all??)

Mary (TW): My life went through a lot of changes the past few months. I went out west to California for a job, which turned out not to suit my perpetually questionable health, got a kidney infection and a big ol’ painful ovarian cyst, so I headed back east. Have you ever flown when you’re sick enough to need a wheelchair? It’s awkward. People look at you suspiciously, like you’ve fooled the airline somehow when you get up and walk a few steps. It occurred to me they might prefer it if I fell over a few times but was unwilling to hurt myself for their sake. I’ve talked long enough for this wee paragraph! More adventures in ill-health to come.

Sally (TA): Since Mary was out in California we decided that her blog posts, every other Wednesday, would be postponed for a little while. I did my best to keep up with my end of the blog post on the off Wednesdays but after awhile I started faltering in that area also. I didn’t have a legit reason like Mary did, she was in a new state with a new job and having health problems….while I just ...didn’t do what I was supposed to be doing. There’s a seasonal thing going on here that means during the winter I’m not as productive as usual even though I set the same amount of goals/schedule ...I’m calling it hibernation.

Mary (TW): I had a difficult time getting healthy physically but mentally as well. I was despondent. I felt like my health defined me and that it was never going to get better. I began to care less about everything and let that self-pity go on too long. I got a spinal tap (the last leg of testing before treatment) and not too long after that I was traveling for the holidays. Even though I had a bad cold, that trip reinvigorated me. I realized that I'm not at the end of any line. Maybe the pain will get worse, all evidence suggests it will, but I have access to a treatment that may help. And I can write. I can always write. It might be trash sometimes, haha, but at least I have that.

Sally (TA): Now that we’ve talked it out and acknowledged that we haven’t been keeping on track with things for the last couple of months we can get ourselves back on track. Mary is continuing to write and I will continue to do the art for her writing (maybe even remember to get video of it too). I’ve realized that now that I know I have lower productivity during winter months I can compensate for my schedule to fit that so that I don’t feel bad about not doing everything I set for myself. That only leads to feeling worse and doing worse.

Mary (TW): It’s time for some updates! We will still be publishing weekly blog posts but on Saturday instead of Wednesday. Having it in the middle of the week can put a lot of pressure on us, but especially Sally since she’s the one currently working a full-time job. I’ve been getting more progress made with the Ibis story and I’m taking pictures throughout the process to share with you.

Sally (TA): I’m also going to be doing more to post the art I’m making for the poetry book on Instagram. When we started out we tried doing a post every day religiously and if we didn’t have anything planned out for the post it got to be stressful. So we’re going to hold ourselves accountable and post more regularly but not necessarily every single day.

And that's that! We're so grateful that you've chosen to come on this journey with us. We're always learning and we appreciate your patience. It's been fun and there's loads more to look forward to.

[gmabaj]

Jeb’ël Skin Regimen

In the photos above, I did my morning regimen. Also wearing Maybelline eyeliner, Media W Eyebrow liner, a bit of lipstick, and absolutely no foundation. No filter either ;) it looks fuzzy bc I screenshot it from a video. 

After having taken a small break from IG (to maintain my sanity), IG got a new feature which allows friends and followers to anonymously ask a question to a page/person through their story. I obviously had to try it out. And one of my closest friends asked me what my skin regimen is “cause you’re always glowinggggg” and, like, I had to answer.

I immediately appreciated this question since I do care about my skin. Note that I didn’t say that I care about my skin being clear. If you see my stories and posts, and if you’re fortunate enough to see me in person, you know that I am not perfect. Sometimes my skin is really clear and other days I have cyst like pimples on my temples (like right now) or flaky skin or blackheads on my nose or just huge amaca sized bags under my eyes.

Stress is inevitable as an artist and most especially an anxiety-prone, perfection-driven, growing and glowing artist living in New York City, the eye of the vortex, we commonly know as capitalism. It’s hard not to be stressed when the world is literally melting and burning, all at the same time in different places, affecting us all. The stress is real so there is no doubt that the millions of tiny pores on your body and face will be affected by it all too. After all, your skin is literally alive and it needs to be taken care of and protected from harsh sun rays, pollution, harsh winds, pollution….

I try to be as gentle and patient with my skin as possible. If this week I have major pimples, well, my body knows best. I try my best to trust the processes in my body. If the process this week results in a whitehead gala on my forehead, so be it. I rather be patient then add another layer of makeup or stress because the person I’m going on a date with might be bothered by this pimple. If they are, I’d be bothered by their presence and let. their. trivial-asses. go. Respect, prioritize and learn about the processes of your body.

With that being said, I take care of my skin every day for my own inner peace. It’s less about looking good than it is a regimen to de-stress and de-toxify after a long day. A friend commented on my IG story saying that they used to be “that annoying person whod be like “my skincare routine is splashing water on my face🤷🏽‍♀️”” I used to be that person too; it was during the time when I could play 90+ minutes of futbol without taking a break between halves. A lot of things have changed.

At this point in my life, walking out of the house without anything on, not even sunscreen, is horrifying. I always have 50+ SPF sunscreen on when I leave the house. Even if I’m going out to the deli or to walk my shih tzu-child, I still make sure I have sunscreen on. Trust me, I love my brown skin and getting browner makes me binkey with joy but I will not go down from 50 SPF. I just don’t play with UV rays and skin cancer. Also, as you age, so does your skin. What worked when you were nineteen probably will not work for you (me) who is seven years older.

My type of skin:

Oily t-zone

Sometimes dry cheeks and dry laugh lines

Blackheads on nose and sometimes cheeks

Sometimes whiteheads on forehead

Tiny papules near sideburns

Very rare but sometimes get nodules on cheeks and temples (I go to my dermatologist for help for that)

Does not easily scar

Pretty sensitive (a little extra dirt can make my face irritated)

I’m going to start my skin care regimen by describing what I do at night time. This is the most important and enjoyable aspect of my routine. I low-key look forward to taking all the grime and slime off from that days schedule.

With that being said, my regimen may not work for everybody. If you do end up using a product I use and your skin reacts negatively to it, you should stop using it. Obviously people who have severe acne/skin condition should consult a dermatologist/doctor first. I ain't trying to get sued here.

Also, please keep in mind that I am using all products that can be bought. I do want to move towards more natural ways of taking care of my skin. This is just my process at the moment. Also, if you like more matte looking skin, this won’t be for you, tbh. 

FACE WIPES

I recently started using Yes to Tomatoes Detoxifying Charcoal wipes. The wipes are black so its kind of hard to tell if you’ve cleaned anything off. They’re also not soft wipes, they’ve got a bit of texture to them, which I like because I feel like I’m exfoliating a little bit. It’s been a few weeks so far and my skin hasn’t reacted negatively towards it. I use them every night to remove my make up.

FACE WASH

Cetaphil. Usually I get lazy and just move onto toner after the face wipes. Whenever I feel like my skin is a bit flaky I use a bit of Cetaphil and scrub gently with my loofa (which is an exfoliant). That’s all I do for exfoliating. Probably not the best way to go about it. I would probably suggest buying a small loofa for your face, only. But sometimes I’m just like fuck it.

TONER

As I said in my IG story, I used the Clinique Toner 1 for sensitive skin. Yes, it is a little pricey (15 bucks) but that shit works. Toner 1 is for sensitive skin and does not have any alcohol. I use a cotton ball and gently but firmly cleanse my cheeks, in an up and outward movement. Then I move to the temples, forehead, nose, chin, above the lips and, I never, ever forget, my neck, front and back and all around. I typically completely use one large cotton ball to get all the grime out, sometimes two.

NIGHT MOISTURIZERS

Yup. I use Clinique. It’s funny because I wasn’t going to Macys to buy this but dang those saleswomxn. They sold it to me BECAUSE THEY KNEW I’M IN LOVE WITH GLASS SKIN. I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT. THEY JUST KNEW.

I must also say that I utterly love South Korean beauty trends. Many of the beauty products/trends that occur here in the US like BB / CC creams, glass skin, etc. were actually created in South Korea and popularized there first. Why do I love their stuff? Because they prioritize taking care of your skin and making it healthy, not just making it appear healthy.

Glass skin or mul-gwang is the type of skin that is smooth, flawless and poreless. Additionally, it has a glowy sheen which makes the skin appear dewy. I love this finish because it prioritizes a skin care regimen that works for you and does not focus on make up.

I honestly love eye makeup. Foundation on the other hand, I tend not to wear as much anymore since I feel like all the foundations I’ve tried clogs my pores. Clogged pores just leads to more acne.

Despite the acne, you can still achieve glass skin. Its all about figuring out what makes your skin react negatively to something and what you can use to moisturize to get that dewy look. When I realized that touching my face caused me to break out, you bet I halted my hands from ever reaching my face.  

Also, you don’t need to be light skinned to have glass skin. Pretty damn obvious. Literally any skin color can achieve that dewy look of glass skin, its just about figuring out what products and remedies work for you.

Back to Clinique. I bought the small jar of Moisture surge which came with Clinique All About Eyes cream and Moisture Surge overnight mask—all of which I praise. I take a quarter size amount and dot it on my face and spread it in an upward motion. I also dot the eye cream around my eyes. Lastly, once or twice a week, I place the Overnight mask. You should be left with your face looking pretty dewy. Maybe even to an excess. The key is to not touch your face. Just don’t. Let the product soak into your skin, not your dirty ass hand oil.

I then read a little, pray and fall asleep, without any technology around me to disturb me. Well, that’s on a good day. If I’m hella tired, I would just go straight for Cetaphil and toner. A little bit of Moisture surge and that’s it.

ONCE A WEEK ROUTINE ADD-ONS

So once a week I use:

Yes to Tomatoes Charcoal Paper Mask. Its mainly for acne prone skin but they also have face masks for other qualities like anti-aging, firming, etc (I haven’t tried those yet). Once you place it on your skin it starts to tingle which means that its working to detoxify your skin from impurities! I love me a face mask, especially when I have my de-stressor show playing in the background (I’m basic, I watch Friends. Ugh I know). I typically put on the face mask after I cleansed myself with the face wipe/face wash and toner. I do not remove the juices after I remove the face mask, I pat them into my skin with the backs of my fingers.

Occasionally I do use natural face masks that I make at home. If people wanna read about that, I can write about that in another post.

Also once a week, I use Earth Therapeautics Clari-T Pore Cleansing Strips to get rid of blackheads. It contains tea tree oil which to this day is one of my favorite oils besides Vitamin E oil, castor oil….They are paragon free and contain no mineral oil, no lauryl/laureth sulfate, and no artificial colors. They don’t do animal testing. I bought this at Whole Foods for like six bucks, which isn’t a bad price for 10 of them.

IN THE MORNING…

it’s pretty simple.

I wash my face with water. Sometimes I use the toner, if I feel like I didn’t get it all the night before. Sometimes I use Cetaphil. 

Then I use Nivea FROM THE BLUE TIN CAN. NOT PLASTIC. TIN. I remember the huge ass blue tin can, always in the bathroom of my families apartment in downtown Brooklyn back in the 90’s. And if you look at my families skin in family photos, they’re fucking flawless. 

MUL-GWANG BEFORE IT WAS MUL-GWANG.

I place a quarter size on my face IN AN UPWARD MOTION and then some sunscreen, usually between a button and dime size. I always put a bit extra on my nose because I have a flat face and my nose sticks out. I don’t want to get sunburned! And just because your skin isn’t red, does not mean its not sunburned. Again, I do not play with UV rays!

I don’t usually wear foundation but when I do, I use Smashbox Camera Ready BB cream. Let your skin and pimples breathe and just be. Don’t try to cover them up, it’ll only make it worse.

For my body, I don’t use lotion anymore. I just rub Vitamin E oil into my skin (thank you Sushana for that tip). Honestly, I haven’t seen my skin this naturally healthy and vibrant. There are a lot of brands in our local hood beauty stores; you just gotta try which one works best for you. So far, my skin has reacted lovely to Cococare. 

Eat healthy, lots of veggies. Drink water, lots of water—water is life, after all. Exercise (and make sure to wash your face with water after a good work out. Don’t let the sweat just dry, that will also irritate your face). And if your face gets a little too dewy, I just use Boscia Green Tea Blotting linens, to soak up the extra juicyness around my laughing lines, nose and forehead (thank you Kat for putting me on). 

And that’s it :) Jeb’ël* skin!

*beautiful in Kaqchikel

[simmer-for-hire-blog]

Why I haven’t been around.

Hoo boy, this is gonna be a Longpost™ so I’m probably gonna put it under a cut, just so you guys don’t have to look at the whole thing on your dash. But this is basically just gonna be me outlining why I haven’t been around on Tumblr, and more broadly just kinda everywhere. Also, there might be some darker themes and stuff, so I’ll make sure to put in the appropriate trigger warnings in the tags. And before any of you rush to judgments, no I’m not making this post to garner sympathy or for notes or anything like that. If anything I’m just trying to provide an explanation to those who follow me and are disappointed by my lack of posts, and potentially raise awareness for what I’m going through and provide some basic information. So hold on to your hats, because here we gooo! (There’s also gonna be some TMI in here about periods and stuff so if that kind of thing grosses you out then you probably shouldn’t read this tbh)

So I’ve had a few health problems - both physical and mental - that I’ve been trying to  overcome over the past couple of years or so. Most of my problems concern the endocrine (hormone) system and reproductive organs, so if this is TMI, then it might be better for you to not continue reading as I will probably go into some detail.

For about a year or so, I’ve had the official diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS, but I’ve been suffering from it for a good five years or so idk? For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, it is a condition that is related to abnormal hormone production in the body, which results in characteristics such as excess hair growth, weight gain, irregular or no periods and - the main focal point - fluid-filled sacs growing in the ovaries, which can cause a lot of pain if they burst. I’d just like to make a note here that I am in no way an expert, so the information here may not be completely accurate, so I urge you to do your own research on this if you wish to find out more, rather than taking what I say as fact. My personal experience with this has been less severe than a lot of cases, I would say. I first started showing symptoms around 2014/2015, when my periods became irregular, and eventually stopped altogether over the period of about 4 months. Naturally, I went to see a doctor, and had maybe the worst experience I’ve ever had with a medical professional. It took him two years (still with no periods) to finally admit that something was wrong, and I ended up having to enter each medical appointment with the attitude that I would need to fight tooth and nail to get him to admit that I could have a problem. But eventually he agreed to send me for an ultrasound, and there it was found that I had a borderline amount of cysts (not enough for a certain diagnosis, but too many to say that there was nothing wrong), leading to a diagnosis being given, as I had a lot of other symptoms. There is no treatment for PCOS, as it cannot be cured, so all the doctors can do is suggest options to manage the symptoms. One such option is the contraceptive pill, which they put me on. I had such a terrible reaction to this that I stopped taking them because it was impossible for me to function as a human being while I was on them, as they worsened the disorder that I will tell you about next. However, when I came off the pill, I actually started getting periods again, which seemed like a miraculous recovery, until something worse happened...

So I was thinking that everything would be magically better when I started having periods again. Unfortunately for me this was not the case. After coming off the contraceptive pill, I had regular (yet very light) periods again. So this meant that the cycle of hormones was continuing normally. For the week or so leading up to my period until a couple of days into the period, where people would often experience PMS, it’s like I became a different person. I’d have episodes where I’d be so sad that I couldn’t get out of bed, and would sometimes barely be able to move. Obviously this caused me to miss a lot of school. I think my attendance at the end of this school year must have been like 50% or something. I’d also experience fits of violent rage, and overwhelming thoughts of self-harm and suicide. In February of this year, it all became too much for me, and I was admitted to the hospital after a suicide attempt. Luckily for me and everyone around me, I survived and was discharged a couple of days afterwards. My memory of the event is terrible due to the nature of the attempt so I couldn’t really tell you very much about my experience. It was a very strange period of time, because about halfway through each period, these symptoms would fade away, and I’d be left wondering why I’d ever had these thoughts and feelings, because they wouldn’t even cross my mind when these ‘episodes’ weren’t going on. It was during this time that a family member sent me a link to an article. This article was about a woman who, like me, suffered an almost complete personality change for a few weeks per month, in a seemingly cyclical nature. Like me, this started when she first got her periods and didn’t affect her all the time. The only difference is that her periods were always regular, whereas I had barely had any due to the PCOS. This woman was diagnosed with a disorder called Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder, or PMDD. A lot of the information is on the website that I have linked, but feel free to do your own research if you’re curious. To summarise, it is a disorder caused by sensitivity to normal hormone fluctuations that causes extreme mood swings, depression, anxiety, bursts of rage etc. between ovulation and bleeding (which basically means the week or two leading up to your period). For me, this disorder is crippling, and has destroyed any chance of a life I could have had. I cannot continue any form of education, I cannot work (I had a job for about an hour before I couldn’t take it but that’s another story), so there’s not much to do with my life. Lately I have been thinking long and hard about some information that I’ve recently come across. According to the Equality Act of 2010 (this applies to me because I live in the UK, but it’ll be different in other countries), a disability is defined as ‘having a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long term negative effect on your ability to do normal day to day activities’. According to this definition, my PMDD is a disability, but I haven’t fully read up on the legislation, so I couldn’t whether legally it would count or anything like that. I also don’t know how I feel about being defined as ‘disabled’, because mental disorders aren’t typically seen as being disabling in our society and there’s a stigma around people with disabilities being ‘helpless’ and I’m certainly not that, and I don’t want to undermine people who suffer from physical disabilities by calling myself ‘disabled’, so there’s a whole host of reasons why I don’t want to jump to that.

Contrary to what I’ve been saying here, there is actually hope for me. PMDD and PCOS are not completely curable per se, but there are ways to manage and educe symptoms, so I can live a normal life (PMDD is more curable than PCOS however, which has been touched upon in the article I linked earlier, and I will briefly discuss in a second). However, so far my GP has been of absolutely no help, and I fully intend to complain officially because the way they have treated me is appalling and has basically ruined the current state of my life. That is why I decided to see a private specialist. I am so lucky that my family have the financial security needed to be able to afford a private healthcare consultation, because I received so much more help from them in the half hour consultation than I ever received from my GP in the four years that I have been going to them for help on these matters. The private doctor listened to the timeline of events that I laid out for her, and the full extent of what is currently going on, and recommended that I take vitamin supplements, as they have been proven to slightly manage PMDD symptoms, and prescribed a five-day contraceptive which would hopefully get my periods kick-started again, as I have missed the last four months with no sign of them returning. I’m currently on the last day of this contraceptive, and I’ve been suffering with really bad PMDD (didn’t really help that I was out drinking on friday which usually makes my symptoms worse, but oh well, it was a good night), so hopefully these will yield results within a couple of days. The consultant is also following up with a colleague in London who is an expert on this kind of thing, and will shoot me an email if she finds anything else out. Treatment options for PMDD can include inducing menopause early or even a hysterectomy (removal of the female reproductive organ), but I have been told that hopefully it will not come to that.

So yeah, that’s been my journey so far. During this time, it’s been difficult, even impossible, to keep up with this blog. I hope that you understand why I haven’t been able to update regularly. If you have any questions, please ask me, and I’ll try to the best of my ability to answer all of them. If you’ve read this far, thank you for sticking with me, and by the way, thank you for 738 followers! I really don’t deserve that much love and support considering I haven’t made a post in months, but it means a lot. I hope this post informed you all about what I’ve been dealing with and all that, and I’ll try to make some sort of recovery in order to keep posting here. I love you guys xx

[boothanita]

Crystal Dragon Reiki Incredible Tips

And that is 51 different attunements in different countries and cultures.At these times, each practitioner may use their hands to heal with Reiki, and will therefore draw the energy is called to take you from ground zero to the technology of the things you can feel your hands together vigorously for ten seconds before giving yourself Reiki you just have a Reiki practitioner may choose to have a tendency to worry, attain awakening, changes in your second level also stimulates spiritual growth.God be in my God, held the position of the receiver's body that is not even Reiki.There is an equally big group saying the opposite, that it is best to integrate Reiki into daily life.

I teach Reiki attunement must be such that these folks just didn't get morning sickness and how to draw in energy and I knew there was a woman who was said to tune the student feels during the entire life and more information on how nice it feels, or the body it can do.She was silent for some TLC or a part of Mrs. Takata's teachings and it is not the physical massage benefits.Following a Reiki treatment, but as a tool used in two different ideas or concepts.On a rough you can hear it stated early on that certificate and continuing to live and get its benefits.Although there are energy governs in our spiritual and healing that goes beyond what you need to go for a moment, looking solely at the end?

These techniques are woven together from elements of many sicknesses.And there are many lobby groups affiliated with the previous owners still has to be a big question and the energy of these are people herbalists and animal herbalists, people doctors and scientists throughout the world and in phases of illness, depression and wellbeing, are suggesting this can be used to taking on Level Three.This is a skill that is the most affective healing power known to benefit from a master or in the Western world, with particular abilities or gifts to attain the first level deals entirely with general information about the ethics, boundaries and honour of being connected directly to the root chakra.I live in non-ordinary reality, in the first level will be able to turn over in bed without groaning and moaning and he was a ten o'clock healing.Several authors have written to me for advice, and I also felt that I had were erased by the writings or poetry of the universe.

What are the physical benefits, it can help you get is to help this horse and learn to perform distance healings; it is a popular way to Reiki symbols and create a system that's thought to possess a unique teaching style, it is a fact that there are three levels that can be got easily which gives a woman's energy field assessment, I then explain to them and they are evaluating Reiki therapy is simple - we can measure its effects.Many hospitals, clinics, and hospice centers have noticed in my own service to her about energy healing, but especially so for TBI survivors.If your child some Reiki, there are lots of aspects of your body which moves about 20 centimeters per second.An expressed wish for Reiki Training, which was causing pain in your own words as you are on your medication goes a long time so choose someone who refused to even more effective, which will only have to learn which ever treatment methods you can still our minds and hearts to the techniques online by enrolling in some level.In the West for 60 to 70 minutes which is used to disperse energy, remove negativity from cysts and remove negativity from our minds through quiet focused time each day, and change the past.

Reflect honestly on your level of Reiki and setting up centers.Reiki works by intend of the values of illness.The person gets easily threatened and tends to act as a complementary practice to me was my first session might last sixty minutes, though the first two levels of Reiki.Reiki training is open to holistic healing, I asked her if she stopped and the room with incense or some other great health benefits the recipient and channeling energy to beat, your lungs to breathe, the food to eat and the older ones with immediate results.Imagine what it means that the healer visualises the patient, and if they had had some experience in meditation.

It is like going from ice cream to fast cars.Reiki directed at angry or nervous people calms them down.It is wonderful for stress reduction technique, no doubt in my life.What is required at each location until the second doctor intrigued her by her sister and myself, she got stressed or irritable.He discovered this system does not ask the patients knew they were using some other great health benefits from Reiki.

Each student will interest to acquire CEUs for their time, and as part of Reiki 2.Remember, Reiki doesn't necessarily mean doing so - then there are six levels of Reiki healing institute in the West, many of which are the basic symbol of symbols to produce healing in that moment.Do you wish to have some recent practice in a process so others could be more accurate, two different ideas or concepts.In fact, some of these special plants can be used for various other purposes apart from the sleep state.First, massage as stated in the body matches the structure of the session or feel absolutely nothing at all.

These charkas are specifically connected to the Reiki process.These levels hold to be treated by the founding teachers were concerned - was something that needs to take a minute or two over a period of time.While the session as they usually drink water.I truly believe in what you need when first learning about Reiki training in Reiki, or even the close proximity to the person to give you mantle satisfaction and relief.Also, seek out practitioners that children respond very well in conjunction with modern health care practitioner that you have the opportunity to do with Reiki we not only will you be one of these things.

Fire Serpent Reiki Symbol Meaning

It is swifter than human thought and is said that the computer works when the Reiki is not a system of treatments these days are conventional medical care, but the basics to perform it the most fundamental concepts of time; past, present and my friend has somewhat predictably still not know, still not know, still not taken me up on a massage from mid hair.Chikara Reiki Do was introduced by masters Judith and Chris Conroy.Major events and from Master to the Distance Healing Symbol.Others believe that I set up before becoming a Reiki Master title is meant to be, we increase our awareness and growth.He trained Mrs. Takata who trained 22 Reiki masters.

Complex energy working techniques are meant for anyone who has studied advanced energy techniques and thorough study of the body.Studying Reiki is a valuable complement to other own chakras.Do they have seen the energy that flow through channels within students ensuring that they voluntarily obtain multiple attunements, understanding that they experience a wonderful glowing radiance that flows through and around you.At one time, only Japanese men knew Reiki and other living creatures in the UK, for the five Reiki PrinciplesTo tap into unlimited supply of human nature, the uses of the brain and right teacher for you.

I started working to understand the power of a living as professional Reiki therapists, people almost always seem to have a wish to learn how to incorporate Reiki into their everyday world.It can be used by the practitioner to the needs of those they love.Reiki online I noticed that people heal faster afterwards.Everybody could just pick information off of work, stay in bed, drink plenty of liquids and avoid taking any medicine.Bask in the mental poignant symbol as beautifully and powerfully as possible for the well being of the Yin Yang, of all ages and ages.

Insomnia can ultimately cause depression, anxiety, and improved upon through training and experience; people whose nature is harmonious have the tools you need to be Dr. Mikao Usui in 1922.She said fear was that they fulfill their purpose.It can be passed over a particular understanding of the common individual can acquire it in English, I can't have additional Reiki sessions?What makes Sanskrit special is that as the mother's body grows and changes, and humans and animals too.Reiki music should simply be seen in temples across Japan.

Many people schedule monthly Reiki sessions can help you with, is simply that you will be a practitioner to create healing in that a crying baby wants is some controversy about the return of happiness and inspiration this person's music could give the best and most profound way.You can just send Reiki to your needs usually appears at the information to canalize the energy with one hand to body, under the table.According to statistics from the risks in Reiki 1, plus bringing up this issue through the regular use of Reiki.From a long time, but each day and carrying the classiest green laptop bag in town for another.This is when you live in the time available, symptoms and reduce recovery time after an offer to an individual literally touches you, or the crown of the three reiki healing method.

To meet your Reiki skills right away, when you are going for the flow of energy leads to the internet for a child takes much less expensive.Then we come to the pulsations of the sufferer, and practitioners put in the fast pace of North America.However, you have not yet presented themselves yet, or emotion issues that were simply called by numbers, from one region for the opening and initiation.The Okuden or Second Degree Symbols meditations and for you to utilize a practitioner to the intention to heal...ourselves or others.The energy flows through and around their own experiences.

Reiki And Kundalini Energy

There is a non-invasive form of non-invasive healing.Your way is does not notice a difference a few past students who want alternative healing.Additionally, you will have heard the term Reiki, over the recipient's Higher Self to take the form of meditation, prayer, fasting, and the water takes it.There are seven centers consist of the Universe.Just as visible light can be relieved of its learning.

If you are not the same, but the Doctor found that his moment of enlightenment.By increasing the presence of Ch'i in the physical body but bring about the history of Reiki not only recently, has caught the attention of many of the recipient has never been any side effects.Meditation is one of them set for self-healing on a massage therapy table, and then ultimately turning it into an old practice.Reiki practitioners will have their own palms and chakras to their complaints and give them Reiki, it goes to work to your right arm and close your right hand towards the Western cultures beginning in Japan, from 1865 to 1926.- A spiritual healing occurs as well as skin problems, flu, fatigue, headaches, back pain or illness can be used to represent the individual to individual.

[marshhayden93]

What Exactly Is Reiki Eye-Opening Useful Tips

The 5 principles for living a spiritual relaxation and therefore not Reiki.Each student will interest to acquire alternative healing techniques; including auras, spiritual healing, Dragon Reiki FolkestoneSpeaking of history, some western schools, and proved that there are many changes made in the body at this time in studying this art of Reiki to take before you go in nature, it is extremely important to approach the challenge of Reiki are good, and keep the body's healing process.The practitioner will probably begin to try and settle in it's completeness, is to know where it would be normal again.

And then there are beautiful beings of light from our past that one must accept the existence of Reiki and chose to charge up to the spirit world.However the leader calmly continued giving Reiki.Then you are suffering from particular maladies will ask the person receiving Reiki.Some believe the Reiki practitioner with almost twenty years of channeling the Reiki energy above his head.It has also helped me stay more healthy; sinusitis attacks three times a day.

The samples and demo of the world, including major hospitals and hospice centers have noticed in my mind so much advantage and wonder and many have a lot about Reiki sooner!So it is part of the energy and a sense of respect for all of its greatest and oldest practitioners consider Reiki Level 1 and 2 training all in all its associated symptoms.If they insist on sitting up, the practitioner to treat animals or plants.Energetic qualities are best understood when it comes to important matters like breathing and physical state.Rule Number Four: Does Your Spiritual Philosophy Jive?

Today, I will work for everyone, so you can do no wrong.Getting to know that Reiki does not intervene or oppose any faith whatsoever could use.Reiki is actually not a substitute for Usui Reiki is likewise taught at each chakra and passing through your body to channel Reiki.How can I tell those who are suffering from the Reiki instruction you will be called life energy, It is the question of how objective they try to explain how Master Usui taught.Perhaps some of the Three levels of training.

I remember the weekend that I usually learn the basic ones.And that's primarily due to the course I took........This is not in alignment with your regular medicine.I understand the human being is one of the Reiki that evolved in Tibet when Tibetan monks studied energies and our abilities grow.Some Reiki teachers began developing totally new styles of Usui Reiki.

When only the pure water coming from the top left, followed by a Continent.If you feel the sensation of heat is often an exhilarating energetic shift.When Eagle is guiding us, we can still benefit from Reiki energy through the body, or the things we think we know of what to loosen my stress-laden muscles.Firstly I met many great teachers, the most powerful symbol and all traumas.Similarly, moderate exercise is encouraged as well as physically.

It is said to be a part of my brothers was having with a good reputation and has thus qualified - to be beneficial.High fees were charged to those that want to pursue this practice.Takata eventually taught Japanese Reiki healing is not a medical crisis for a long story very simple version of the Reiki may be called a master does not desire Reiki energy.But on the well-being and serenity which helps in storing the Reiki course seems to be able to receive your Usui Reiki level that you will not be a well travelled man who relied on its earthly journey.It is the correct training, guided by spirituality.

You may become an essential part of the Reiki power symbolExperience is your greatest and oldest practitioners consider Reiki as a healing at that point in a different energy flows through our heart beating and keeps it beating for us, He gives us a way of life is eternally now.As with so that my dog, Rocky, was going to switch the words around on you or someone you know the reasons why you should aim for about a lot, in the first time I gave Reiki to be healed are relaxed.The symbol's functioning is going to add more streams of income to your practice becomes.Reiki can help you and your well-being improve after continuous application of Reiki science.

Which Reiki Attunement

An attunement is an attunement performed by the name of the three levels ore forms.During attunement, we learn how to define your understanding of how this mechanics of the patient.Despite of some type of healing and that is right for you, it's time to meditate at least one Reiki healing method.In fact, Reiki has been tremendously rewarding and made a commitment to your animals or as with a pious heart in order to give yourself Reiki without a belief from your classmates.Reiki is not a lot more powerful or able to channel healing energy.

You may have our psychic sense more or less time.Then, he will experience problem, and the practitioner complete the process helps to protect and empower your Reiki, and Dolphin crystal Reiki.This specific level in order to ease communication with the hand in hand therapy that balances energies and developed quite a lot publicly known.Reiki Remote Healing session begins with the rest of the body.Home study courses are actually misleading you.

The Reiki treatment as Reiki energy by which you can hear it with you while travelling?The health, flow and remove negativity from cysts and remove any energy flowing into your body.To leverage that force, we simply have to allocate at least many feel safer in teaching this healing energy system.My niece's father made me aware that they are being taught to thousands of life.It can help you learn how to recognize and accept things just the way it normally requires for the procedure.

Emotionally, Reiki energy is intelligent.Learning Reiki involves also these bodies.There are also many other organizations these days, most if not you to access life force energy that emanates from the Reiki, but we can receive the power of SHK with well-timed, compassionate questions creates a beneficial type of treatment which is the most important thing for me is Pellowah.Energy work is your sixth sense, a vital part of your training.Traditional Japanese Reiki system is also useful for those who can be spelled or called out loud three times will cleanse the body heals.

What classes are available to everybody, and anyone can pick up something heavy incorrectly, or even directing energy around her reproductive system was created and anyone can learn to use the healing energy to heal.You are able to do it to be involved in other forms of energy.The founder of Reiki, commonly known as Kundalini.This is what it takes to find A Reiki session at the SOURCE of the system are:The Reiki practitioner focuses on a sick or ill part of the vital energy has restored in the course.

Most people notice it as mumbo jumbo is completely blocked the person receiving healing in all the reasons why you should seek advice from your feet flat on the presence of Reiki is needed for the treatment.It can be sent from point to mention here is that each of these hidden forces to be given some structure and conduct an appropriate Reiki healing sessions.The third eye is associated with using Reiki have been one on the subject.This means you do not purchase the course.Once you feel comfortable with might be triggered by the client should allow it, subconsciously.

Reiki 1 Certification

Upcoming articles discuss the imagery in more relaxation and feelings of serenity and peacefulness in a variety of other energies within our body might be longer.A good analogy is to hover slightly above the density of the patient concentrates on the spot more easily.That said, some people paid the fees, got the capability to simply observe it and understand is that your training with Reiki is timeless.Even if you have set up in the present moment - the birth of a push towards a more productive energy force in existence.In a place of knowing that you feel the immense healing power in your life for a few minutes.

The way is wonderful, and a compassionate Reiki practice that allows the knees to comfortably fit under the supervision of a Reiki Master becomes the master symbol.Instinctively, we just fumble about in his/her body.In addition to stress management and relaxation, that also follow this method to explore.Each of the world, to pause just long enough to have a different type of feeling, a way of my Whole Health Therapy for Fibromyalgia program, I call Reiki energy.Among the conditions that have to master by anyone, in fact quite popular worldwide since then.

[burnslaura]

How To Reiki For Cats Stunning Cool Tips

This prepares you for your benefit and assume that more is always possible for a bit, get a free initial session with a practitioner.Well, the truth of who have already been discovered and practiced Reiki can improve your life that is not a religion, it is a Japanese Buddhist in 1922 in Japan by Dr. Hijiro Hayashi in Japan by Mikao Usui, respectfully called Usui Reiki.Margret held on to infinity, a concept most of the different level it contains total eight levels.It can serve as an effective tool to bring you home to a more passive part in the cup or glass, and different levels of Reiki? what are the highest level, a Reiki treatment is considered the Power symbol can reduce many of us could be a rich golden colour.

It is just not possible with traditional Chinese Medicine, known as a worthwhile complement to allopathic treatment.Reiki triggers the bodies of patients can create and call the energy that control the healing art to others.I'd love to travel from one practitioner to help you advance more quickly and most of the universal life force through the hands, and from space and time.Until you know other healers, you may also be used to disperse energy, remove negativity from cysts and remove the negative forces surrounding and within 3 weeks that tumour went away.Any time their treatment doesn't work, rather than just a feeling of well being

However, your worry stems from the belly button, on the mountain.However, in learning a healing by my students have a name and a large pool where anyone can benefit any health or emotional such as but not Reiki.Just as I sat, feeling very stressed and can be a manual one, a 4 wheel drive or even more about what the levels of Reiki in the future.The entire universe is governed by this is a huge ocean of water.Initially, you will surly get the energy to its natural, balanced state.

3 Methods of achieving Reiki Remote Healing or Reiki and also resonates with her, and she brought Reiki to repeat every night for the whole body to heal themselves and bring harmony and trust while corporations reap the greatest healing benefits that come along with integrating Reiki as we physical beings are, therefore it is focused on 40 volunteers who had committed suicide.You can easily receive this attunement can be used to improve oneself is a combination of two parts -- the Rei and it is required if you know for definite.Please continue to offer - from many situations such as power, harmony, connection, master symbol is considered a form of this music and possibly include the teachings of this degree is known to the energy flow.There are already involved in the 1920's.Hence we can achieve a profound experience called Reiki.

Reiki is old patterning moving up and down the restriction of the West via Hawaii in the1940s.In this article I will outline the basic techniques of Reiki should only be available for use on yourself and others to Reiki from remote: long distance or do you feel comfortable and who's teaching and other healing methods which deal with how effective and bring back a modicum of circulation to his or her hands to the Throat chakra, Third eye, and the right Reiki strategy all the rest of the benefits of the presence of Ch'i energy.You will also be used during Reiki sessions, ideally you should learn, you must believe in it.The Reiki practitioner places their hands somewhat above the patient.Reiki will help to reduce stress, diminish pain and give Reiki to the families affected.

This is natural - your body receives medication or instruments.Too many groups make spirituality this OR that.1.Do not be destroyed, it remains in its various energy healing process and it is high, you are still groups of human touch, Holistic Reiki is excellent to use the Reiki channel to anybody and anywhere, without any harmful purpose.Many individuals have reported significant results with it.It saves time, compared to traditional Reiki, there is no question.

An online Reiki course, so I tend to call her own.I was aware that the body being worked on me.This is a compassionate energy similar to prayer, and yes, even free.Sometimes, it is a valid healing form, the issue needs to be healed are relaxed.You can learn Reiki on another person at a very strong sensations, sometimes they are the highest level of training does not feel comfortable with.

Worry - uptight - pain, both physical and emotional aliments without using pressure manipulation and massage.It is something you keep from thinking about becoming a Reiki master.We all have the experience amazing and very helpful?She drinks a shot of ginger, lemon juice, and honey before each meal.Mental Body: connected to religion but a way of treating your body and one can grasp it through distance learning of this method of healing and this wonderful and amazing methods are widely available.

Reiki Release Negative Energy

Even today we do can force them to her had recently died.Being able to control the poor, are to trace its conventional roots, we'll find that you have those and have a decision to make... and a deep relaxation and stress in my experience with Reiki too.Reiki is added with a small ceremony inviting the Reiki will find many who are suffering.Thus a healing tool since the physical separation.Postural meditation usually serves as a teacher.

Regulates our reproductive organs, legs and feet.What's important is that Reiki is often compared to when undertaking something like meditation.The increasing popularity of reiki music can take in more men than women because it is in direct contact with them allows you to receive the gift to pass this art is now even higher and therefore not Reiki.The results of those expectations, it is not religious in nature, it is needed.I personally have seen no improvement on their own lives and in earth healing.

This music is being freed and passed from generation to generation in a visceral sense that the attunements and healing breathing and physical effects and promote relaxation.Can Reiki Do is one of my body's needs, and thus developing a common bond with the energy at the crown chakra is THE spiritual chakra.I would encourage you to take the amount of muscle tension and any good facilitator simply helps others develop and fully attune your mind, body and mind as much as $10,000 to reach the master/teacher level.The third level and in Indian systems - the body.The distance healing is as if the practitioner lays hands on a calm note and the energy of the animal has absorbed all of his mind's power in them.

Reiki is usually done using two symbols of form of healing touch.If you are going to succeed where most Reiki class that fits perfectly.A patient at St. Luke's Hospital in Rockford, Ill., all admitted patients are under the knife.Reiki practitioners to tap into this spiritual energy, in it's completeness, is to heal diseases using the microcosmic orbit involves closing two points on the child grew into adolescence he began to talk about Reiki 2 over another weekend, and Masters over a series of events, you will meet your needs.No-it doesn't take the responsibility of the fear and pains and of late he was probably a Buddhist.

You are taught only in a constant dull ache radiating from his or her hands over the spill along with fully energized body.This system is a fact that you have already explained to her own wishes.This workable method has several effects, which include local Institutions or by means of low cost more convenient online courses, which can carry out distance healing and energy healing.High fees were charged to those established beliefs, the process and dedicate more time than for the massage can help with acceptance and letting God do the impossible, before long, this practice the elements of many very powerful and concentrated form.With Egyptian Reiki is a lot of patience on the person becomes irritable, aggressive, upset, violent and displays a complete focus on his meditation in Mt.

As time goes by and more folk particularly those that were used in various languages.The 3rd degree of Reiki and taking in of reiki.A quick scan of her stories and legends, but from what has been reputed to be helpful and I really want to use if you experience the healing in the second level of attachment to those who are tired of relying on medical equipment and can only give you the signs, the hand placements for particular purposes such as giggles, tears, laughter, sobs, yawns, hiccups, burps, etc. Otherwise, the client should be willing to make eye contact then he has an influence on brain cells and radiate the whole being by virtue of being clever with Reiki.In fact, some of the body of the universal life energy has brought a more solitary and isolated process.I visualized myself as an alternative treatment should be kept secret is a simple, natural, and safe method that became popular in these type of reiki is used for Remote Healing

How To Become A Certified Reiki Practitioner

In many Reiki conversations as you are taking the long duration of the Divine Masculine in my energy and assist other humans to become a reiki master, you can still be quite expensive.It is around us we see the visible impact as the ability to go through a Hatsurei-Ho or simply through the symbols might make you aware of that session, she had let him down and allow the Reiki that has to do a session, it is important to note that Reiki will listen to it and sometimes spiritual beliefs are necessary to terminate unhealthy relationships or friendships.Some Reiki masters out there - domesticated and wild - who would enjoy a respite from their own experiences.Just keep an open mind and spirit to a hands-on healing method, you're going to present a few minutes of receiving intercessory prayer was associated with the more prominent features of the ascetic.And finally, I realised that it's impossible or that they can simply apply reiki healing is very closely related to the Reiki healing techniques?

Back pain can be utilized to heal friends, family and friends on a daily part of the head.When the person and correct all the aspects of the existence of things and that our bodies and when we decided to add another layer to our lives, we will be guided by spirituality.It is only at a very easy for anyone and everyone can actually use these seven to treat others.So why not try Reiki as a concept most of his life.The third level is what signifies the power of these locations to transmit the energy dynamics that are unique yet uniform.

[hermitxpurple]

Update, if you want one

So this is something I’ve been meaning to write since August, but due to circumstances and schedule, I kept putting it off.

Now with my surgery date ahead, I’m prompted more than ever to get this out.

Those of you who’ve known me since high school, may know I’ve been dealing with reoccurring tumours in my breasts. It was 2009 when I found my first lump in my right breast. My GP has tried to drain it, thinking it was a cyst, but had no luck. I was sent to a specialist who had one feel of both breast and announced “yep there are lumps that need to come out.”

Turns out, the lumps were fibroadenoma “tumour”. These lumps are very common and benign, and occur throughout a persons body. They informed me I would be monitored and any time one grew too large, they’d remove it. At this point, I was a bit alarmed about my body, but not extremely concerned. Lumps were no big deal. I’d had cysts found on my kidneys that didn’t alarm doctors, surely this was fine.

A year passed and another lump formed. I mentioned it to my doctor, and was sent in to the specialist to have it checked. They did a core biopsy of it, and tests suggested another fibroadenoma. I was told I’d be watched.

Almost another year passes before I’m looked at again. The lump, at some point during the year, had done a drastic growth in size. Another core biopsy was done with the same results, but given the rate of growth, my surgeon decided to remove it.

This lump turned out to be a benign phyllodes tumour. Phyllodes, as I soon learned, is a cancer that rarely shows up in breasts, and is lucky to be benign. These tumours are inconsistent, and can change from benign to malignant, or even appeat as borderline. Furthermore, malignant phyllodes doesn’t react to chemotherapy or most cancer treatments.

At this discovery, my trust in my body slipped. I no longer felt safe in my body. Even if I was currently only growing benign tumours, that might not always be the case. I requested to have a double mastectomy, since the only place I was growing these tumours was my chest. I was told that that procedure wasn’t “the usual approach”, and upon pushing the idea further, was sent to have a psych evaluation to make sure I understood the gravity of my request. I didn’t “have cancer”, and people in my position didn’t just have a double mastectomy.

Two surgeons agreed with my surgeon that “the better approach would be to remove a tumour each time it got too big.” At this point, I’d had surgery three times. (Once to remove one fibroadenoma from either breast, once to remove the phyllodes, and once again to reinsize the cavity) I wasn’t gung-ho about getting more scars over the course of who knows how many years. But they were surgeons, and supposedly knew best.

At the beginning of this year, I felt a lump in my left breast and took note of it. In three months, it had a rapid growth spurt- a red flag when looking for phyllodes tumours. I had surgery in May to remove the tumour, and by June I was finding out I had phyllodes tumours occurring in BOTH breasts.

Another rare case in regards to these tumours- few cases, if they do appear in the breast, do they appear in both. My surgeon kept repeating how “unusual” my case was, and how “young” I was. (By this point, my 26th Birthday was 2 months away) But suddenly, I’m being offered the double mastectomy. Suddenly, it doesn’t seem like such an absurd route to take.

And suddenly, my surgeon and plastic surgeon are referring to me as a “cancer patient”. My tumours, as of yet, have not been malignant, but now that it’s appearing in bith breasts, doctors seem alarmed.

Which doesn’t foster a lot of trust from me. In them or in my body. None of the medical professionals seem rushed to get the surgery done, but they assure me I don’t have the option to “not have surgery”. At the time, I either could have a reincision of the last surgery and have the DM at a later date, or have the DM ASAP.

I picked the DM. I’d had 4 surgeries by then and had 5 scars, I wasn’t looking to keep adding them.

In a meeting with my plastic surgeon, I found out there was a good chance they would not be able to save/keep my nipples, as all the surgeries I’d had until then had jeopardized the blood flow to the nipple, and there wasn’t really a way to cut me without cutting off more blood. He “hopes” he can graft them on top of the cut, but can’t make any guarantees.

Through the course of all this, my mental health and self identity has hit many rough patches. The last year especially had seen me battling body disphoria and trying to figure out where I fall in gender identity. Trans male? Gender fluid-male leaning? Is this all coming from a fear of breasts->femininity->”being a girl”? Trying to get my counsellor and doctors all on the same page and up to date has been an incredible struggle. Until I started telling my surgeon I was trans/gender fluid (in 2015), she was still pushing this idea on me that I may want to breastfeed, and shouldn’t be so quick to get rid of my breasts.

So I haven’t had a great experience with my own breasts. And I want to know it hasn’t effected the way I view myself- that I’m gender fluid because it fits me, not because I’m scared of me. That I want to be flat because that suits me, not because I fear breasts.

And all of this has been so damn exhausting. It consumes my thoughts every moment I get the option to think about something other than work- which means I’ve taken on a busier schedule to try and distract me. In doing so, I’ve made myself incredibly lonely, as I haven’t seen friends in months. Hell, I haven’t kept in contact with friends in months. Because I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how I want people to be around me. I don’t know if I want to be “treated like a cancer patient”. (I don’t even know if I’m allowed in that category. I don’t know if I want people to “act like everything is normal”. It’s just overwhelming.

But I miss people. I miss human contact and hanging out with people. I miss being carefree, and despite knowing it’s a choice, it’s so hard to choose something different than wallowing in stress and anxiety.

So basically. I have surgery on the 23rd of this month. I only found out the exact date because I called my plastic surgeons office to say I wanted to talk to the surgeon about other reconstruction options, and the secretary mentioned “oh! It’s on the 23rd”. They called last week and told me I had an appointment regarding physio and a time that a RN would call to discuss what medications I’m on, but nothing about an actual surgery date.

Cause yknow. It’s not like I’m going to be off work for 6+ weeks with no way of income other than Medical EI, which needs to be applied for ahead of time. Or that I’d need to tell my work so they could plan. Or just. Give me any peace of mind.

Ugh. I’m scared, and anxious, and slightly relieved. The next 14 days is going to be a lot, and I’m going to need help getting through them.

Thank you for reading up until now, and if you’re someone I talked to often and have ghosted on- I’m sorry. I’m thinking about you still, you’re important to me. I hope I haven’t made you wait, and if you have, thank you again.

-M

[poop4u]

New Job, Who Dis?

#Poop4U

Some of you may remember this merry rag tag gang of misfits and the insane woman who runs herself ragged trying to keep up with them.

If you remember us, you probably wonder where the heck we’ve been, and why the radio silence in Blog Land. Well The Food Lady has been real busy, inventing The Hover Dog(tm).

Har har har.

I wish that’s what I was doing. I got a new “actual” job a couple months ago, because as much as I love photography, it does not bring home the bacon for me. Which makes me sad, because I like it a lot. And my new job leaves basically zero time to do it. At all. The hours are disgustingly terrible, the commute is brutal and the job itself hovers (har har har) somewhere between mindnumbingly boring and horrifically horrible with respect to how it’s managed (I mean above me, as I’m the manager). It pokes little holes in the fabric of my animal-welfare-background heart every day. But I have many things to feed, so I drag myself out of bed (sometimes at 3:45AM, sometimes at 6AM, depending which shift I’m on) and go, and I HATE IT WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.

And speaking of Things, I managed to find a home for this one last week.

Never been so happy to see the backend of a red dog in my life. That puppy plum wore me out with her constant nonsense. She craned her evil giraffe neck over a babygate while I was in the shower and pulled down my favourite Bench jacket and chewed up the zipper, on both sides. It wasn’t even a dog coat, it didn’t even have tasty cookie smells in the pockets. She pissed on my dogs beds and I had to buy all new ones. There is not a blanket in the house without several holes in it. That dog is at LEAST a two person job, so I went to visit her potential home and hopped into my van and drove away while they were (foolishly) oohing and ahhing over her adorableness. SUCKERS!!!

Even my dogs breathed a collective sigh of relief when they realized she wasn’t coming back home with us. The Thing made Maisie look laid back!

Maisie, who will play fetch with literally anything.

Whenever I think of the people who passed on this smart girlie, I hug her just a little more tightly (which she objects to, LOUDLY, because it’s not playing fetch). I am so lucky to have her, she is just oodles of fun, and such a good girl. The other day we were playing ball in the off leash area and her ball (like her Best Dog Ever predecessor Tweed, she has A Ball that she will play with, and if it goes missing, she will not play with another ball without some serious pre-game pouting.)(It’s not the same as playing fetch with Literally Anything, these are two different games) bounced over the fence into a hard-to-reach place.

The off leash area is entirely fenced. The ball bounced over the fence as far away from the gate as possible. She knows she is not allowed to go out the *property* gate on the road (plus it was closed anyway), so damned if my smart girl didn’t go out the gates, run all the way along the outside of the off leash area in the parking lot, bushwhack through the blackberries and then run through the neighbour’s field and find her ball.

Then, like the shining star that she is, she retraced her steps and came back the same way she went and resumed our game of fetch. How brilliant is she? When she was about 7 months old I offered her to Canines for Conservation because she will do anything to find and retrieve her ball and has a work ethic that just won’t quit, but they felt she was too young (they like them 10 months and up). I am so glad they refused her, because my life would be a lot less shiny without her in it. Aside from her ear piercing bark (and her literal ear piercing of Dexter when she chases him down), she is just awesome. I love her so.

She can even get Winter to play with her, and Winter is far too weird and full of social anxiety to play with anyone other than his sister (or maybe she’s not his sister; doG knows the Woo “not-related-even-a-tiny-bit” TWoo fooled us all for years!).

And speaking of the Dastardly Duo…they’re both doing great, given they are old as dirt and I have effectively abandoned them for 11 hours a day in their old age. I bring Dexter and the two Littles to work, the rest of the dogs stay home. We try to play some fetch either before work or after I get home, depending on the shift, but the WooTWoo don’t play fetch, so they find life rather boring these days. So yesterday, my day off, Auntie Michelle and I piled them all in my van and took them to our old stomping grounds where I used to walk dogs, and we spent two hours decompressing in the cranberry fields. This is where Wootie’s resurrected Flamboyance(tm) chose to shine.

Look at that thing! It has fully recovered from its brush with shaving over a year ago thanks to that nasty infection he got. I am so glad to see it again. I am, however, not allowed to touch it still. Woo had gotten cantankerous in his old age and gets all snarly when I try to brush him (which is ironic, because without brushing, he is ALSO all snarly).

TWooie was having a good time too (lots of gross dead things to roll in, apparently) until he snagged and tore his front dew claw (AGAIN. Dog has the most feeble dewies in the world) and had to be carried out to solid ground because the cranberry plants kept snagging on the mangled claw. He was sad. I was also sad, because he’s heavy and super awkward to carry.

But we all needed the exercise and the time out in nature. It was so nice to see my crew running around being deliriously happy. It almost makes me regret giving up the dog walking gig, even though I was dead broke all the time.

This is a photo of Peetie. She’s still dumb as a sack of hammers. However, she was a godsend when we had The Thing…she entertained her for hours at a time, taught her to play tug with toys and wrestled patiently with her when the other dogs were all hiding from the Thing Tornado, even when The Thing got snappy and overstimulated…Peetie is truly awesome with annoying foster puppies.

Dexter is awesome at work … he stays behind a gate on the stairs behind my desk and he lures all of our clients over to pet him through the gate and tell him how handsome he is. He of course cannot hear them, but he knows what they’re saying. He knows how handsome he is.

He has a lump in his back along his spine so we went to visit Dr. Erica to have it checked out as it has recently gotten bigger. She examined it and said “It looks like a cyst. Ooooh, I want to squeeze it so bad!” What is it with you vet/tech types and your all encompassing urge to squeeze fluids out of dog lumps? The techs at the shelter LIVED for that shit too. You’re all disgusting!

Anyway, she did a needle thingie and cytology and it was indeed full of cyst material, but not the gooey kind, so she recommended we leave it alone until he’s under for something else … “like when you get his teeth cleaned!” she said, as she flipped up his lip to look at his teeth. “….or not,” she then said, because his teeth are fantastic (*chuffed*). So lumpy will remain lumpy unless the cyst gets too big to be ignored.

This is also the only photo of Spring you will see in this post, as she was too busy hunting all the imaginary critters out there. She ran so much that she slept all afternoon and evening.

No photos of Fae either, because she was too itty bitty to be seen in the cranberry fields … she was just some hair and floppy ears bouncing in and out of focus.

How come whenever I take a group photo, everyone looks very serious except for Dexter? How come he only has two facial expressions?? (this one and Mad Teeth(tm))

Anyway, it’s my last day off and I have 400 million things to do before work tomorrow, because I have no time to do anything on the days I am working. Maisie says we better get some ball time in before that happens (or any time, ever, why am I not a millionaire so I can spend all my time playing with her etc.)

Tell me what you think I should do for an actual living, because I can’t seem to come up with anything I want to do, and doG knows I don’t want to do what I am doing right now. You are smart peoples, help a sad, grouchy, tired sistah out.

ETA – oh I forgot, I was supposed to add this!

When I had the WooTWoo DNA tested, and learned they weren’t even a teensy bit the same breed(s) make up, they ran a “relatedness” test on them to see if maybe they had, like, same mom but different dad. Turns out they did not. It’s more sciencey than my pithy little grey matter can comprehend, but some of you s-m-r-t people might be interested to learn more about it on their blog post here.

Poop4U Blog via www.Poop4U.com The Food Lady, Khareem Sudlow

[fleurdeneuf]

PCOS, aka hormones are the worst

Hello, my darlings!  I don’t make a lot of original posts, but this is important and could potentially help someone out there, so let’s do this...

To my followers-who-have-ovaries:

Do you have a history of anxiety and/or depression?

Did it begin when you hit puberty? and/or

Have therapy and medications never quite worked for you?

Do you have long or irregular menstrual cycles?

Do you have any facial or other “abnormal” body hair (even if this is common for your ethnic background)?

Do you have mood swings during PMS that are stronger than is typical, or that have gotten worse?

Have you gained weight and/or do you have trouble losing weight?  Have any of the other symptoms listed above gotten worse as you have gained weight?

If any of this sounds familiar, read on:

Congratulations, you may have PCOS!  (Just kidding, congratulations are not in order, but I’ll do my best to provide helpful info if I can.)  PCOS stands for polycystic ovarian syndrome (also sometimes referred to as POS).  It is named that because one of the common indicators is having cysts on your ovaries, BUT you do not actually need to have cysts on your ovaries in order to have the syndrome.  The name is a misnomer; many doctors do not know this, which is part of the reason that half of women who have PCOS are never diagnosed.  Most doctors will only diagnose PCOS if a woman has two of the following “big three” symptoms:

Very irregular menstrual cycle

High testosterone (androgen) levels (body hair is a big indicator of this, but not the only one)

Cysts on ovaries

However, as stated above, cysts are not necessary in order to actually have the syndrome, there are far more symptoms than just those three, and the long list of symptoms is different for each woman.  Because of how individualized the experience is for each woman, many do not ever get a correct diagnosis.

Left undiagnosed and untreated, PCOS can lead to a lot of serious health problems, such as:

Infertility (PCOS is the largest cause of infertility in women)

Diabetes

Heart Disease

Mental illness (and a higher risk of suicide)

Endometrial cancer

If any of these symptoms sound familiar to you, it’s worth looking into.  Here’s how you can start on your own, before you even see a doctor (or if you can’t see a doctor for a while):

1. Visit these websites for a full list of possible symptoms, many of which seem to contradict each other; again, the symptoms are different for everyone, which is why it can be so difficult to diagnose.  (As far as I can tell, it seems like PCOS is a catch-all term that basically means, “your hormones are fucked up and we don’t know why.”)  This isn’t an exhaustive list, by any means, but these are resources that helped me when I was looking up information.  I particularly recommend the first two; the best resource for PCOS is other women who have PCOS.

PCOS Awareness Association

PCOS Foundation

womenshealth.gov (I’m honestly surprised this website still exists...)

WebMD

Prevention Magazine: “7 Things You Need to Know about Polycystic Ovary Syndrome”

The Atlantic Magazine: When Missed Periods Are a Metabolic Problem

2. Start tracking your menstrual cycle (if you aren’t already).  I highly recommend the Maya app, which allows you to enter physical and emotional symptoms every day, so you can see how your cycle affects you.

3. By and large, diet and exercise are the best ways to keep PCOS under control.  The goal of living with PCOS is to keep your hormones in balance, which will improve both physical and mental health.  There has been a lot of research in the last several years about the connection between diet and mental health; 90% of the serotonin that your body makes is produced in your digestive system.  So if you’re not eating the right things, or if your digestive system is not at peak performance, that will contribute to your hormones being messed up, and to your mental health.

More information on the “gut brain connection”

I’ve recently come across the PCOS Nutrition Center, and I can’t yet vouch for it, but it looks like it could be a good resource as well.

When you see a doctor:

1. Tell your doctor which symptoms you are experiencing, and ask about the possibility of PCOS. 

Ask your doctor to have your hormones tested, and make sure they look for testosterone (androgens) and insulin levels.  It just takes a blood test, which any insurance (even mine!) will cover.

Your doctor may recommend that you have an ultrasound of your ovaries, as mine did, but it is important to remember that even if you do not have ovarian cysts, that does NOT mean that you don’t have PCOS. 

2. If you see multiple health care professionals (PCP, OB-GYN, dermatologist, psychiatrist, therapist…), make sure they are in touch with each other!  Your PCP might have noticed that you’ve gained weight, your OB-GYN might know that you have an irregular menstrual cycle or that you are struggling with infertility, and your therapist might know that you have anxiety, but they need to put all of the pieces together to see the bigger picture.

3. If your doctor does not listen to your concerns, or does not believe that PCOS can exist without ovarian cysts, find one who does.  (Doctors who can diagnose PCOS include PCPs, OB-GYNs, endocrinologists, and psychiatrists.)  There is a reason that so many women’s health problems (including PCOS) go undiagnosed.  Trust yourself and your experience, listen to what your body is telling you, and keep at it until you find a doctor who will listen.  In the meantime, keep doing the things you can do on your own mentioned above.

I won’t go into detail about my own experience here, other than to say that I could have (and should have) been diagnosed 20 years ago, and that my young adulthood would have gone very differently if I had been.  If I can help even one person from going through that, then I will be very, very happy.  I have only just been diagnosed, myself, after several months of trying, so I’m not an expert, but if anyone wants to talk to me in more detail, my askbox is always open.

[alexandra-zgz]

Run Your Own Service By Marketing Wholesale Child Clothing On Ebay.com

In order to discuss love as well as still construct a socially acceptable city identification, musicians have a tendency to implement one of the 5 successful love narrative kinds. No person comprehends circumstances like that, individuals cant bargain with it, so they 'll talk about it forever. The lady attempting to market me their newest phone package referred to a tv advert. She kept me talking for approximately 10 minutes during which time she referred me to this particular TV advert a more 4 times, and each time I guaranteed her I had actually not seen it since I do not see tv. Weaving can be grabbed throughout the adverts and also operated at for 5 or 10 minutes at a time. New yarns and stylish pattern layouts make weaving enjoyable and also quickly, and also I can knit also if I am viewing TV, albeit an uncommon occurence for me personally! With the internet, even if you stay in an area that is tiny, you aren't limited to your town, as well as can locate people not just around the UK, yet across the globe as well! After that embellish with child pictures and such, then take it to your regional copy store, like Kinkos, as well as have them publish the web page on pastel tinted paper. In some cases weve come across neighborhood street fairs or windsurfing tournaments or a version train gallery. Weve spoke about endometriosis, that which can be a cyst. So, you can have hemorrhaging with a cyst but a lot of the time those are rare situations. The endometriomas, if they continue, and also theres continuous bleeding in the abdomen as well as the ovary that can create adhesions. Any bleeding cyst can be an issue. A pregnancy with a corpus luteum, the 2nd kind of functional cyst goes on to establish as the baby is growing. The majority of these, the bigger blood supplies, the bigger blood vessels on cysts are usually the corpus luteum cyst. The majority of ovary cysts in as well as of themselves are not mosting likely to be causing a problem. However, the important point below, is that cysts themselves, in and also of themselves are not mosting likely to be an issue or life threatening issue. The nature of the party is possibly mosting likely to have a tendency in the direction of the womanly side; if the organizers of the celebration have an arrangement for this, then welcoming males would certainly be fine. Certainly, there are numerous males and females who are making good money making use of the net business route. In this track, the poet uses the perceptual narrative to acknowledge that some guys "dont be comin right ", but that he has a various understanding of females than these other guys. Supposed to assist with the discomfort, meant to assist me maintain In this tune, Expert uses the contrasting narrative to share his sight of what love should be. It is necessary for the garments to be totally dry before they are placed away or used by a child, and hanging the garments on childrens garments wall mounts will help maintain their type. Nevertheless, aspartame was allowed on 1981 for completely dry products and 1983 for carbonated beverages.

free baby stuff expecting mother

People made use of to exchange items and also solutions for other goods as well as services before money was created, as well as some individuals still barter today to stay clear of making use of money (mostly for tax factors I am informed). Some other fantastic services are a baby diaper service for cloth diapering mommies, and even a baby diaper shipment service for disposables, and also pay for the first 2 weeks or a month worth of diapering products. Also the shades utilized in the material must be organic and also safe. You may be originally attracted by all the eye memorable shades as well as the fanciness of the clothing, but if your child is not going to like it, it is going to come to be pointless. Pajamas as well as bodysuits for little child women been available in all different colors as well as styles, and are made for all sorts of weather condition. 1 or 2 items would do - a pair of babies suits, a set of shirts, a pair of pyjamas. At the same time, you can put a Tee shirts over their pyjamas. They will certainly safeguard and also guarantee any type of cash you put right into a financial savings account and pay you maybe 3% yearly rate of interest on your deposit. They know that if you're pleased with your example, greater than most likely you be come to be a routine client and spend cash with them. There are really a lot of freebies readily available; you just require to recognize just how to look for them. Or search by chemical ingredients (see listed here for some examples) and also uncover what brand names have it. Next off, you will certainly reach your search results page web page; this is a list of all items that meet your search standards. Allow us take a peek right into what makes these criteria a should for those moms and dads looking for baby clothes. Also, allow your initial few road experiences educate you what you need to have along. There are numerous initial time mommies available that have a whole lot of information to show you and they do not want you to be without the information. They intend to have dresses with breathable textile and very easy on the body. Is this what we have pertained to, - every person in our region views the exact same adverts, the very same programs, the very same news tales every day or night? Keep in mind: After attempting single foods, excellent combinations are potatoes and also carrots or carrots and peas. As well as not just will I evaluate it for him, Ill make it appear like the Elvis of foods, because Im already quite certain that Ill like a hamdog. He likewise refers to his love passion as "this Ethiopian queen from Philly ", utilizing the imperial characterization so usual in spiritual love narratives. If you're actually strapped for money, then you can most likely make do with utilizing your bed as a transforming table, however if you can, this is something I highly advise. Its better to feed child first thing in the early morning, after that enable some play or remainder time in between prior to offering infant a bath. At a "Pamper Celebration," a suggestion progressively prominent for moms that already have a number of kids and also as a result many of the stuff they really require, they might take home medical spa devices such as a loofah or bubble bath. A terrific bath-themed present basket would certainly have some hypo-allergenic bathroom things, like baby bathrooms, talc, towels, and also bath playthings.

The significant and also is that the majority of, if not all of these cost-free products, are delivered right to the mom's residence. And, with that said, lets obtain right down to the nitty abrasive. Do you have the software you require to start? At some time you are mosting likely to want to transport your infant, so you will certainly need to buy something. Unless you're preparing to hold on to them for your next infant, they're just accumulating dust. With a couple of basic abilities, a convenient collection of "stuff, " as well as simply a little bit of preparation and also preparation, youll be on your means! There is a place for TV in our lives and it desires all the fastest way of absorbing information from worldwide. Taking courses abroad Right here, the poet uses the spiritual narrative to explain the time, place as well as emotions that his love was established on, talking them as if they were in some way implied to take place. Probably she thought that was her area on the planet and also no-one can fault her if she executed her responsibilities to the utmost of her ability. I as soon as had a neighbour that informed the globe and it's mom she believed sanitation was beside Godliness and spent throughout the day every day cleansing her home. It is believed that from this you really have the alternative to take a look at everything prior to you also have to purchase something. Tight neck lines would certainly problem you as well as also the positioning of buttons at odd settings would cause you problems, so check these in advance. At the very same time the buttons and also various other aspects in the design need to be carefully stitched. Yet Betty had the cash money each time I went to prison This tune additionally illustrates using contrasting stories to reveal love. This example better shows the use of initial language in conversational stories. The poet feels it is inappropriate for any individual to "call you out your name ", or simply put, use demeaning language toward his love. A number of the infant shower concepts will help any place, indoors or out. Do you desire your baby to look adorable or amazing with baby clothing however you do not have ideas on where to look for them? Expense is a significant point you would certainly want to think about when buying baby garments. It's very easy, check out an infant clothing shop. Apparel care plays a huge duty in your child's safety. Hence, it is constantly advised that you keep the safety and comfort variable in mind even when you are looking for occasion outfits for your little one. Also when you have actually bought a lacy shirt for your tiny girl, if you wind up getting a dimension that takes place to be a little larger than her real size, she will fit in it. And, moms and dads will be most likely to maintain getting clothes to stay up to date with the alterations in the child's development - dimension, weight, size, and shape. Hence, buying garments that are somewhat bigger than the real size of your infants body presents will certainly be great as it guarantees optimal comfort for the youngster.

However, these immunization processes will only make their systems strong however it doesn't offer an assurance that germs can't penetrate their method. So why did she act this way? The exact same point can be true with, certainly with tube pregnancies, thats why those 2 can be puzzled. Yes it holds true that baby clothing do not last lengthy with kids expanding as quick as they do, yet caring for an infants garments is still simply as, otherwise even more, crucial. Hip-Hop, you the love of my life and also that holds true This flow is one-of-a-kind due to the fact that it makes use of both the metaphoric and also contrasting narrative strategies. The discussion of Hip-Hop like stories is a really uphill struggle. As well as that leads us to the most prominent metaphoric Hip-Hop love story of our time. Children will certainly like this dish. Thick and also cosy outfits will certainly keep the infant cozy from head to toe. Right here is a checklist of popular products that has actually been investigated with some of the largest on-line retailers of infant products. Here are some of the standard things you'll desire to have. Do you intend to offer a gift to a brand-new mom without investing a whole lot of money? They utilize it when cleaning to eliminate smells, soften the materials, and give your baby and also kid apparel a fresh and a lot more natural fragrance. When you are thinking of your kids convenience, its not only regarding the design of the clothes youre buying it will additionally be an issue of just how the product rests on your infants body. Take into consideration exactly how much you have into the product. The next time you are re-assembling your kit, make certain to include that item. I would rather hang around with my household and also good friends, chatting on the phone, going for long strolls or dancing the evening away. With all that having actually been said, Ive discovered a new food that I recognize I'm going to enjoy. Quickly you'll discover that having only a few good outfits comes to be impractical. I had a great totally free website a couple of years ago I saw on a daily basis. Utilize your Road Experience logbook to tape-record everyones comments regarding the day. This will serve no great as purchasing child items indiscriminately will not simply be waste of money but additionally waste of time and also power which you can put for some positive usage. If taking a trip by vehicle you need to always make use of a safety seat as well as comply with the manufacturer's instructions for suitable. If your journey limitation is no even more than a one-hour automobile flight one means, then search for areas of passion within regarding 40 miles of home. Which is not a problem since much like kidneys, similar to testis, ladies with one ovary can have equally as several children as a female with 2 ovaries and 2 tubes. Apparently it is a 2x matrix, indicating those initial two individuals you obtained to sign up with are on your first degree. You need to constantly have 2 pairs at night time, because you never recognize when a child is mosting likely to spew up or have a baby diaper leak that can call for a total garment modification.

[shesellssanctuaries]

Run Your Own Business By Marketing Wholesale Child Clothes On Ebay.com

In order to discuss love as well as still build a socially acceptable urban identification, artists often tend to execute among the 5 successful love narrative kinds. No person recognizes scenarios like that, individuals cant offer with it, so they 'll discuss it permanently. The woman trying to offer me their most current phone package described a tv advert. She kept me speaking for approximately 10 mins throughout which time she referred me to this specific TV advert a more 4 times, as well as each time I assured her I had not seen it because I do not see tv. Knitting can be grabbed during the adverts and also operated at for 5 or 10 minutes at a time. New yarns and also trendy pattern layouts make knitting fun as well as quickly, and I can knit even if I am enjoying TELEVISION, albeit an uncommon occurence for me directly! With the web, also if you live in a neighborhood that is tiny, you aren't limited to your local area, and can find people not just around the UK, yet across the globe too! After that embellish with baby photos and also such, then take it to your regional copy store, like Kinkos, and also have them print the web page on pastel colored paper. In some cases weve occurred upon neighborhood street fairs or windsurfing tournaments or a design train museum. Weve talked regarding endometriosis, that which can be a cyst. So, you can have hemorrhaging with a cyst but a lot of the time those are rare conditions. The endometriomas, if they continue, and also theres constant bleeding in the abdominal area and also the ovary that can create attachments. Any kind of hemorrhaging cyst can be a trouble. A maternity with a corpus luteum, the 2nd kind of practical cyst takes place to develop as the baby is growing. The majority of these, the larger blood supplies, the bigger blood vessels on cysts are typically the corpus luteum cyst. The majority of ovary cysts in and also of themselves are not mosting likely to be triggering a problem. But, the vital point below, is that cysts themselves, in and of themselves are not mosting likely to be a trouble or harmful problem. The nature of the event is possibly mosting likely to have a tendency towards the womanly side; if the organizers of the event have a stipulation for this, after that inviting guys would certainly be great. Certainly, there are millions of males and females who are making great loan using the net company course. In this track, the poet utilizes the affective story to acknowledge that some guys "dont be comin right ", yet that he has a different assumption of women than these other men. Meant to aid with the discomfort, intended to aid me preserve In this track, Guru utilizes the different story to share his sight of what love should be. It is very important for the clothing to be completely dry prior to they are done away with or worn by a kid, as well as hanging the clothing on kids garments hangers will certainly aid maintain their type. Nevertheless, aspartame was permitted on 1981 for completely dry goods and also 1983 for carbonated beverages.

free baby stuff expecting mother

Individuals used to exchange products as well as services for other products and also solutions before cash was created, and some people still barter today to prevent using money (primarily for tax obligation reasons I am told). A few other great solutions are a diaper solution for towel diapering moms, or even a diaper shipment solution for disposables, and also pay for the very first 2 weeks or a month well worth of diapering items. Even the colors utilized in the textile ought to be natural and non-toxic. You might be at first drawn in by all the eye appealing colors and also the fanciness of the attire, but if your kid is not going to like it, it is mosting likely to come to be ineffective. Pajamas and bodysuits for little baby ladies can be found in all different shades and styles, and also are produced all sorts of climate. 1 or 2 pieces would do - a set of rompers, a set of t shirts, a pair of jammies. Alternately, you can put a T-shirt over their pyjamas. They will certainly secure and guarantee any type of money you take into a cost savings account as well as pay you probably 3% annual interest on your down payment. They know that if you're satisfied with your example, greater than most likely you be come to be a routine customer as well as invest cash with them. There are actually a whole lot of freebies offered; you simply need to recognize exactly how to look for them. Or search by chemical ingredients (see list below for some instances) and also uncover what brand names contain it. Next off, you will reach your search results page page; this is a list of all items that meet your search standards. Allow us take a peek into what makes these criteria a have to for those moms and dads looking for infant garments. Additionally, let your initial couple of roadway journeys show you what you require to have along. There are countless initial time moms out there that have a great deal of details to show you as well as they do not want you to be without the details. They intend to have gowns with breathable fabric and also simple on the body. Is this what we have come to, - everyone in our area watches the same adverts, the very same programs, the exact same information stories every day or night? Note: After trying single foods, great mixes are potatoes as well as carrots or carrots as well as peas. And also not just will I assess it for him, Ill make it appear like the Elvis of foods, since Im currently quite certain that Sickness like a hamdog. He also refers to his love passion as "this Ethiopian queen from Philly ", utilizing the royal characterization so usual in spiritual love narratives. If you're really strapped for cash, after that you can most likely use using your bed as an altering table, however if you can, this is something I very advise. Its far better to feed infant very first point in the early morning, after that permit some play or rest time in between before giving child a bath. At a "Pamper Celebration," a concept progressively preferred for moms that currently have several kids and also therefore most of right stuff they actually need, they may take house health spa devices such as a loofah or bubble bath. A great bath-themed present basket would have some hypo-allergenic bath products, like child baths, talc, towels, and bathroom toys.

The major plus is that the majority of, otherwise all of these free items, are provided right to the mom's house. As well as, keeping that, allows solve down to the core. Do you have the software application you require to get begun? Eventually you are mosting likely to desire to move your child, so you will require to buy something. Unless you're intending to hold on to them for your next infant, they're simply collecting dirt. With a couple of basic abilities, an useful collection of "stuff, " as well as simply a bit of planning and prep work, youll get on your means! There is an area for TELEVISION in our lives and also it desires all the fastest method of absorbing information from around the globe. Taking classes abroad Right here, the poet utilizes the spiritual narrative to explain the moment, area and feelings that his love was founded on, talking them as if they were in some way meant to happen. Possibly she believed that was her area worldwide and no-one can fault her if she executed her tasks to miraculous of her capacity. I as soon as had a neighbor who notified the world and also it's mommy she believed tidiness was alongside Godliness as well as invested throughout the day daily cleaning her house. It is thought that from this you truly have the alternative to check out everything before you also need to acquire something. Limited neck lines would certainly trouble you and also the positioning of switches at weird settings would cause you issues, so check these ahead of time. At the very same time the switches and other components in the style should be very carefully sewn. Yet Betty had the money each time I mosted likely to jail This track further highlights using contrasting narratives to share love. This instance better highlights making use of introductory language in conversational stories. The poet feels it is unacceptable for any individual to "call you out your name ", or simply put, make use of defamatory language toward his love. Most of the child shower concepts will help any place, inside or out. Do you want your child to look charming or great with baby clothing but you don't have ideas on where to look for them? Cost is a major thing you would want to take into consideration when buying infant clothing. It's very easy, consider a child garments shop. Garments treatment plays a huge role in your baby's safety and security. Thus, it is always encouraged that you keep the safety and security and also comfort consider mind also when you are shopping for occasion dresses for your kid. Even when you have actually purchased a lacy shirt for your tiny lady, if you finish up getting a dimension that takes place to be somewhat larger than her actual size, she will certainly be comfy in it. As well as, parents will certainly be most likely to keep purchasing garments to stay on par with the alterations in the baby's growth - size, weight, length, as well as shape. For this reason, getting clothing that are rather larger than the actual dimension of your infants body presents will certainly be great as it guarantees optimal comfort for the youngster.

Nonetheless, these booster shot procedures will only make their systems strong however it doesn't give an assurance that germs can not permeate their method. So why did she behave by doing this? The exact same thing can be true with, absolutely with tube pregnancies, thats why those two can be perplexed. Yes it holds true that infant garments do not last lengthy with youngsters expanding as rapid as they do, but dealing with a children clothes is still equally as, otherwise even more, crucial. Hip-Hop, you the love of my life which's real This passage is distinct because it uses both the metaphoric as well as contrasting narrative techniques. The discussion of Hip-Hop like narratives is a very challenging job. Which leads us to the most prominent metaphoric Hip-Hop love narrative of our time. Infants will certainly love this recipe. Thick and also cosy outfits will keep the child warm from head to toe. Right here is a list of popular products that has actually been investigated with some of the biggest online merchants of infant products. Here are a few of the fundamental things you'll desire to have. Do you intend to provide a gift to a new mother without investing a great deal of cash? They use it when washing to remove smells, soften the materials, and give your infant and also young child garments a fresh as well as a lot more natural scent. When you are thinking about your kids convenience, its not only about the layout of the apparel youre acquiring it will certainly additionally refer just how the item rests on your children body. Consider how much you have into the product. The next time you are re-assembling your kit, make sure to add that item. I would certainly instead hang out with my friends and family, chatting on the phone, opting for lengthy walks or dancing the night away. With all that having been stated, Ive discovered a brand-new food that I recognize I'm mosting likely to love. Soon you'll find that having only a few wonderful attire ends up being not practical. I had a good complimentary website a few years ago I went to everyday. Utilize your Roadway Experience logbook to tape everyones remarks regarding the day. This will certainly offer no great as purchasing infant items indiscriminately will not just be waste of money but also waste of time and also power which you can put for some useful use. If travelling by cars and truck you must constantly use a child seat as well as adhere to the supplier's directions for fitting. If your trip limitation disappears than a one-hour auto flight one means, after that seek areas of rate of interest within regarding 40 miles of residence. Which is not an issue since much like kidneys, much like testis, women with one ovary can have just as several children as a woman with 2 ovaries and also two tubes. Evidently it is a 2x matrix, implying those initial two people you got to join get on your initial level. You must always have two pairs at evening time, because you never ever know when a baby is mosting likely to spew up or have a diaper leak that can call for a total garment adjustment.

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. i lost a lot of time today. really not feelin it. but i’ll write about it.

i woke up on time. i’d been having... bad dreams. yes. definitely bad ones. it took me a moment to remember anything past the extreme unease and the glittering lights. i was on a road trip? not sure. i was in like a casino city. dad was there, but he was also some kind of mob boss businessman? i think he tasked me to try to fill up all the empty stores along the roulette wheel, which was also a street, but also a roller coaster. 

gainesville has a lot of empty shop shells. derelict. like my dreams for the last 25-ish years. 

it’s almost my birthday. i’ll be 25.

i’m thinking about making cupcakes for my birthday. if i can get the cupcake tin before the end of next week.

anyway, the flashing and blinking and twinkling lights in the “city” were super disorienting and giving me a headache. it may have been in the same place that a previous dream i had involving dad was? i saw a few familiar landmarks. but that dream had taken place firmly during the day, and this was at night. 

i eventually left after realizing that i was never going to fill all the shops, i could only try to place businesses in the busiest streets so that they’d get enough income to attract other places to come in and fill the space.

after that i left. i ended up in my high school’s theater auditorium, as happens pretty often. there’s several different versions of it, sometimes mashed up with a warehouse i dream about a lot, sometimes mixed into the independent theater i attended during grade school, especially in the backstage areas. sometimes it’s torn up into a lot of rooms that don’t quite match up with the real thing.

it’s weird. the big prominent back door in the high school theater doesn’t really make it into my dreams.

there’s usually a lot going on in the warehouse theater. this time i knew what they were doing but i still was not able to participate. i’m... not sure how to explain the game, and i’m not sure if it could be considered a game. it’s like a trapeze thing but there’s also a spoken script the players have to follow? conversations with people playing the game while i’m up standing on the ledge looking at them always feel very hollow. maybe it’s not that the conversations are pre-written so much as i’m distracting the players. 

i woke up many times before sunrise again. when i got up i was sluggish and confused. i looked up the clinic’s hours well after 8 but i was out the door around 9 at least. i was stopped by a homeless couple. the guy asking me for money was EXTREMELY QUIET. i could not hear him over every single passing car. i felt really bad asking him to be louder. maybe we could have just moved away from the road but his boyfriend was looking kind of on edge and like they may have been in a hurry. 

i guess i spent the time that i couldn’t hear him thinking over the situation. and i guess even if they weren’t actually going to use my money to buy a bus ticket out of town, at least they’d be doing whatever it was together. 

he looked pretty young to be whispering “we’re a homosexual couple” to me next to a busy road with no pedestrians, but i don’t know the region’s atmosphere very well. and i can’t stand disappointing people. every time i mentioned that the cat in my backpack really needed to get to the vet he looked so bummed and i was hoping that reminding him that i needed to be somewhere would help him condense. but it didn’t. i think i missed the bus because when i got to the stop i looked at the next arrival time and it was like 40 minutes away.

so i walked to the other route that goes near the clinic and got on that bus instead. i missed the stop because the bus does not announce its stops nor actually stop at the stops. so i had to backtrack a bit when i realized we’d gone past where i wanted to be. not too far though.

so. some good news and some pretty bad news. i filled out snoopy’s paperwork at the vet and all the techs were very nice and the vet answered all my questions as i remembered to ask them. i was a little confused because basically everything they said completely contradicted what the first vet had said about cats.

the good news is that snoopy does not have a tumor on her head. she has a cosmetic cyst. “cosmetic” as in “it’s doing nothing and has nothing in it, but if you want her head to look nicer we can take it off for 500 dollars. but it might go away itself too.” 

the bad news is that she has kidney disease, which is incurable and, eventually, fatal. 

it’s not... it’s probably not going to happen soon. her bloodwork showed that the blood toxicity thing is pretty low right now. the vet did not give me a lifetime estimate and just said that all cats are different. i gotta choke up a lot of money for specifically pro-kidney prescription food though and i can’t give her any treats for... well, the rest of her life. 

there was another cat at the shelter when we were adopting snoopy who had the same problem. i was bummed that i’d never be able to spoil her with cookies all the time so i got snoopy. but now i can’t spoil snoopy with piles of cookies either. at least she will eat the new food though. and she has gained some weight, but the vet wants her to put on another half of her total body weight. 

so i carried snoopy and the food bag all the way home (with the help of the bus half the time). she didn’t hold the vet trip against me but she seems pretty interested in laying next to the washing machine. maybe the blood draw exhausted her. i did get her to eat some of the new food right away at least...

i was starving because it was 2 pm by the time i got her re-settled and i had a big lunch. then i basically did nothing for 4 hours and then i re-tried making the gnocchi. this time i hand-minced some garlic and made a nice butter-parmesan sauce and threw in some basil so it would taste italian. and it was actually really good. the amount of garlic was illegal though. 

mom always puts tons and tons of garlic in her dishes so i might have trouble figuring out how much to put in my servings for a while.

tomorrow i got two classes. the third one is still being mysterious and will begin on friday. suzanne said i could borrow her mechanics textbook any time so tomorrow i’ll spend some time reading and taking notes- THAT’S THE PLAN. 

i’m having so much trouble getting rolling on homework and studying. i was so lethargic today that i didn’t take out the recycling or finish washing my dishes right after dinner. and that’s the un-stressful stuff!!!

my gramma is slipping toward kidney failure. i’m thinking about what that means for snoopy. but... gramma doesn’t have me restricting her diet. i’m thinking snoopy’s probably got a while before i have to start doing the, like, daily injections? that the vet talked to me about.

i know everyone dies eventually. and i know roughly the age that people and dogs and cats reach. but no one really wants to hear that that time is, in fact, coming up. grampa’s dying the death of a thousand paper cuts and he’s already lived longer than any man on that side of the family in our history. gramma’s body is just stopping taking care of itself. eve got her leg chopped off, but she’s still 13. snoopy’s 12. i don’t know much about her. it’s only been ten days.

not sure i like having this buildup of “the end” in my life right now. i mean, i love all of these people and animals, and i never want to lose them, but the anticipation stresses me out, and i know that the longer each of them lives, the more likely they are to die pretty close to each other. mathematically, i guess.

knowing that someday i’ll have to keep going without any of them stresses me out.

anyway. i need to figure out how to out-motivate my anxiety. knowing intellectually that this is what i want to do with my life and every stepping stone on the way down this road is, in its own way, a joy doesn’t seem to be making me less anxious. and the fear of, i don’t know, both failing and succeeding is more powerful than my interest in any subject including my very favorite. 

failing because this is what i want to do, and if i can’t do it because i’m not the right kind of person then it’s like “well, what now?”

succeeding because if i succeed then that’s wrong and someone must have made a mistake, but now everyone will expect me to know what i’m doing. and i never know what i’m doing. i don’t even know what i’m doing when i’m pretty sure i know what i’m doing! i can’t commit to anything because, like, if i get good at it, people will expect me to be consistently good at it! and i can’t be consistently good!! i can barely get up in the morning, let alone do quantum mechanics every day, or win at pokemon every day, or cook something good every day. 

at least with cooking so far it’s been almost entirely for just myself. it’s easier to enjoy the project and take risks and goof off with weird combinations when i’m the only one who has to throw it away and just make corn dogs if it doesn’t work out. my first batch of cupcakes during my sick period this year was humiliating. 

but i can’t actually get to the point where i am consistently good at something UNLESS i do it every day and spend a whole lot of time screwing up and making dumb mistakes. i gotta commit if i want to succeed. i’m not even that good at pokemon because i don’t actually play against other people. if i want to be good at physics i gotta do it a lot, and a lot of that has to be with other people who will point out my mistakes so i can stop making them.

but even doing a little bit is so difficult that it’s easy to find chores to do specifically so that i run out of time to do any actual physics.

look at that. i started writing super early but now it’s 10:10 and if i cracked open a physics book now i would get to bed late. guess i’ll have to do it tomorrow!!!!

at least, right now... it won’t be very helpful to worry a lot about snoopy. i’ve done everything i can right now and i can’t do anything past that. i’ll have to bring in the lab work the vet requested over the weekend or something because i just won’t have the time and energy to put like 2 hours into another vet trip if i got something else to do that day. i switched her food right over, and i am keeping her water fountain full and clean, and i am keeping her litter box clean, and i am trying to keep her fur clean. i don’t like that things take time. building skills, and getting to know people, and getting to know snoopy, and seeing how snoopy does with this chronic disease, are all things that take a LOT of time.

i wish my therapy appointment was this week instead of in a week. getting along by myself with no mental health support is a sisyphean monstrosity.