#bc I feel like we’ve all maybe been in that moment of despair where you’re at rock bottom

[bonesblubs]

I’ll never get over that it took just one strangers small moment of kindness to change Xie Lians path. All of the suffering he went through, all of the despair, the disillusionment, all not forgotten or even forgiven, but reconciled. All because one person, not Hua Cheng, not family, not his ex friends, not his people, reached back to him when he’d been starting to lower his own hand in defeat. It’s possibly my favorite and most meaningful part of TGCF for me, because for me it stops being about these two guys who were meant for each other and were impossibly lucky enough to have found each other, and becomes a story about a person who had lost his way in his world so thoroughly that he lost himself, only to be found and put back on his feet by that same world that he mourned so terribly. His world stops being a concept of scale of numbers, black and white, good and bad, and becomes about the individual. What he can do to help individuals, the connections he can make with them. Their histories, their names, their faces. Inside each person is it’s own world. He’d been knocked off his pedestal, and the fall hurt to the point of breaking. But now that he’s risen to his feet, he’s able to look all these people in the eye, and they’re so much taller than he’d seen before.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

So I did the random word generator, and I got paper. And that made me think of paper airplanes. So, how about reader making a paper airplane and throwing it through the SDR2 Boys window, and inside the paper airplane is a love letter confessing reader’s feelings toward them.

T h a n k you for this bc I gotta practice writing the bois. I absolutely love writing these types of scenarios owo

..........

Teruteru

“Oh? What could this be~?” The chef noticed the paper airplane that appeared on the floor of his cottage, picking it up. 

It was only then he noticed his partially opened window and chuckled. For him, it was easy to put two-and-two together.

“Ah, how cliche. Do I have a secret admirer on this island? Perhaps they wanna share all their secrets with me~?” The thoughts running through his mind almost made his nose bleed, though he managed to control himself as he unfolded the plane to read its contents.

And it turned out to be a simple love letter from you--short, sweet, and innocent. You even marked it with a heart at the bottom of the page.

Teruteru’s face became tomato-red as he clutched the letter to his chest, before hurrying out of his cottage and to the hotel restaurant, unable to contain his excitement any longer.

“I’m on my way, my new beloved~!!” He trilled, knowing you’d be waiting for him there.

...............

Gundham

“Huh..so this is what the mighty winds have carried into my domain.” Gundham mused as he looked at the paper airplane that somehow landed on his bed. He looked outside for a moment, wondering who could have sent it--but there was no one.

“A mysterious messenger, hm..what do you think, Cham-P?” He glanced at the large golden hamster on his shoulder, seeing his nod of approval. “Fuhaha! Then it’s decided! Now..let us see what this message entails.”

With a hum, he unfolded the note and read it thoroughly, gawking about halfway through it. 

“...wh-what...this...is this...a-a proclamation of love?!” He tugged his scarf over his blushing face. “But..who could love such a....ah..” Then he reached the bottom of the note and saw it was none other than-

“[Y/n], but of course. There’s...a certain aura to them that..I can’t help but feel enchanted by,” he muttered to himself. “But I shall harden my heart until I know this proclamation is true, lest I turn out to be a blind fool..”

With that declaration, he got up and summoned the Dark Devas to his side, before venturing out of his cottage, clutching the note tightly.

............

Kazuichi

“AH!! I’VE BEEN AMBUSHED!!”

The scream made you stop in your tracks as you looked back, seeing the door fly open and a certain mechanic come rushing out. 

“[Y/n]! Thank god you’re here!” His hands flew onto your shoulders. “I got hit by an object!! I-I think someone was tryna kill me!!”

‘Oh boy..’ You thought, realizing that your plan didn’t go accordingly. “Well, did you see what the object was?”

“N-No...but...what does it matter?!!”

“.....wouldn’t it help to find out what it was if you’re convinced it was attempted murder?”

“..that’s true. C’mon. I don’t wanna go back alone.” Kazuichi dragged you into his cottage, making sure he locked the door once inside. “It came through that window, hitting me in the back of the head....damn it. I just wanted fresh air and I can’t even get that!” Then he shut the window with a huff.

“Was it this?”

Looking back, he saw the paper airplane in your hand. “Yeah-!! Wait...a paper airplane? Seriously? That’s what attacked me?”

“I sent this.”

“...so YOU attacked me?!”

“I didn’t mean to!” You snapped, causing him to fall silent, before you unfolded it and handed it to him. “It’s a letter...for you. It’s got nothing to do with murder, I promise.”

He cautiously took the paper and read it, mumbling to himself. By the time he was done, his face became red. “[Y/n]...is this true?” He looked up at you with a toothy grin and stars in his eyes. “You like me??!!”

“Yeah..” You smiled back. “Though I was hesitant to send it since, y’know....you had eyes on Sonia-”

“Oh! Don’t worry, I only admire Miss Sonia from afar!” He explained. “As the princess she is, I only wanna respect and defend her. Nothing more! I-I’ve honestly...liked you for a while too. My bad for not reading this sooner.”

“It’s okay,” you chuckled. “At least I have my answer.” 

...............

Fuyuhiko

“Sheesh, try not to poke my other eye out next time, okay?”

“Wh-Wha..” You spun around to see the Ultimate Yakuza, realizing he was clutching the note--that was once a paper airplane--in his hand. “Sorry, Fuyu..I had no idea where it would land so I uh...booked it. Kinda. How did you know-?”

“Saw you taking off before this even got into my room,” he explained. “I still got one good eye to keep a lookout for things.”

“..ah, I see..” You rubbed your neck awkwardly. “So um...you must’ve read it.”

“It’s laughably cliche, but...I...uh...d-do feel the same way as you..” Fuyuhiko mumbled the last part, but you could hear his confession clear as day, and your eyes lit up.

“R-Really? I mean...I...I wasn’t sure, since I know you’re still trying to move on from-”

“It’s okay.” He sighed, looking back at you. “It..hasn’t been easy, but..you were the first to forgive me after that trial. Even though...I acted like a total shithead to you when we first got here. Still feel kinda bad about it..”

Your racing heart eventually calmed itself, as you smiled gently and approached him. “It’s okay. If..you wanna make up for it, maybe we can..uh..hang out at the movie theater sometime today?”

“Tch, like a first date?” He chuckled. “Alright. I’m in.”

............

Nekomaru

“[Y/N]!!”

The booming voice made you nearly slam the mailbox door on your hand. You had a habit of checking it mornings and nights.

You whirled around to see Nekomaru rush over to you, a wide grin on his face as he clutched a certain note in his large hand. “I have received your confession letter and accept it wholeheartedly!!”

“R-Really?” You gawked. “Just like that..?”

“Of course!” He laughed. “Your method of delivery is unique! Very old-school. And clearly you’ve put all of your heart and soul into this letter. If I were to ever reject that hard work, my name wouldn’t be-!!”

“Nekomaru Nidai?” You chuckled, feeling calmer now that he was serious.

“See? You already know me better than I know myself!” The Ultimate Team Manager grinned as he hugged you to his chest. “Can you hear that? My heart is beating with great spirit and love!!”

“Yeah, I definitely hear it loud and clear.” Smiling, you hugged him back, happier than ever.

...............

Twogami

When Byakuya found a paper airplane on his desk, he didn’t know what to think at first.

This was childish at best--sneakily throwing it through the window and then taking off? If one of the others wanted to talk to him about something, then they should’ve just rang the doorbell. 

Surely he wasn’t that intimidating of a leader...even if some didn’t like it.

But curiosity eventually won over everything else, and so he took the paper, realizing there was a message on it. “Hmm, very strange..” He hummed, opening it to read what it said.

And he swore his heart stopped, realizing this was a confession and the sender was....you?

Did you really think of him that way? Even though..he hasn’t fully told you the truth about his Ultimate?

And if he did, would you still send him something like this?

.............

Hajime

Hajime didn’t know why he woke up earlier before the morning announcement--until he noticed something right next to his face. “Huh..? What’s this?”

Sitting upright, he picked up the object. “Oh, a paper airplane. Haven’t seen one of these in forever.”

With a small chuckle, he unfolded it, having noticed letters on the inside of it--and also a red heart, oddly enough. He read the message written and...his heart began racing as he realized this was a love letter.

Even though he had his suspicions, he couldn’t believe someone on this island would love a talent-less person like himself.

Why?

As he read the sender’s name, Hajime jumped as he heard a knock on his door. He quickly stuffed the note under his pillow before going to answer it--seeing you on the other side.

“A-Ah..[y/n]..hi. Thank you for knocking..” He tried to play it cool, tugging on his shirt collar awkwardly, though you just smiled.

“I take it you read it already?”

“What? Oh! Uh..yeah..” The poor boy’s face grew redder by the second.

“I thought the paper airplane idea was too childish, so...I figured I’d come here and confess myself. But...seems I’m a little too late for that.” You chuckled nervously. “So....?”

“I-I don’t know what to say..” He admitted. “Why me? I’m the most ordinary out of everyone here.”

“Oh. Hajime.” With a small laugh, you took his hand into yours. “Because it’s you that I feel happiest around..all those times we’ve spent together..meant a lot. I had fun and I’d like to do more of them with you.”

“A-As..your boyfriend you mean?” Hajime gulped, smiling as he tried retaining his composure. “Sure. I’d..love to do that.”

............

Nagito

“Heh..I never would’ve guessed a nobody like me was at the center of someone’s heart..”

“Uh, I’m right here, Nagito.”

“Oh I know.” The white-haired male chuckled as he spun around on his heel, facing you. He looked down at the love letter you had cleverly disguised as a paper airplane. “But..come to think of it..Mikan’s words had me a bit...crushed..”

You tilted your head, remembering the third trial. “You mean, when she said-?”

“That I had nobody who loved me? Well, it seems she was wrong about that.” His smile seemed to stretch wider as he put the letter in his pocket. “I guess I can’t call myself a stepping stone anymore..now that I have a new purpose--one that fills me with a much greater hope!” He wheezed out a small laugh.

While his laughter usually unnerved the other students, you could only smile and feel your heart grow warmer whenever you heard it.

“Yes, yes..perhaps this was the love she was talking about.” Nagito put a hand to his chest. “But this love wasn’t born from despair.”

“Nah, that’s just a twisted sense of love.” You reached out to take his other hand into yours, bringing him slightly closer to you. “This is real, genuine love.” 

His face became a bit flushed, though it wasn’t from the despair disease, but from the simple realization that..

He was lucky enough to be loved.

..........

Izuru

“So, instead of talking to me, you sent this.”

“Oh!” You turned around to see the “Ultimate Hope” standing before. There was an open note in his hand that you tried to deliver to his room in the form of a paper airplane.

The keyword is “tried”, as he was quick to call out to you before you had the chance to run away. So you felt embarrassed, especially as he skimmed over your letter.

After a long and awkward silence, Izuru finally looked up at you. His face remained blank, though you could tell he was curious about your message.

“Yep, that’s my uh..confession.” With a sigh, you approached him calmly. “I know..love is something foreign to you, but...I figured I’d take my chances. Even if the world’s gone to shit, I had to at least get this off my chest. And before you ask...no, it’s not because of your talents.”

“....I see.” He muttered, his gaze returning to the letter. “You understand what I am and what I’ve done, and yet...huh...?” Then he put a hand to his chest, stunned for a moment as he felt his heartbeat slightly quicken.

Wait..

His heart?

What was happening to him? 

What is this?

“Huh, they might’ve suppressed your old feelings. But..not all of them, it seems.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that exactly.

This was something he definitely couldn’t have predicted.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x18 “Despair”

WOW TODAY SURE IS A DAY, HUH

-

04:40pm

Y’ALL

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

I KNOW WHAT’S COMING

BUT AM I PREPARED?

my post leading up to this: https://almaasi.tumblr.com/post/634003656411381760/i-have-seen-the-spn-spoilers-okay-okay-okay

i found a faster torrent and there are 7 minutes until it’s done I’M GONNA GO WANDER AROUND FOR A BIT BRB

-

04:51pm

window is blacked out

i am as ready as i can be, i think

-

04:52

HERE WE GO

-

omg so much has happened irl i fully forgot what happened at the end of the last ep so THANK U RECAP

-

BILLIE JUST

BOMBED THE EMPTY

WITH JACK

:0

-

05:00

just as i was thinking “aaah billie’s probably lying, jack’s capital D Dead” THERE’S JACK

-

JACK’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

05:05pm

nice shot

-

05:07

CHARLIE’S PARTNER IS GORGEOUS AND THIS IS SO HAPPY

they better both make it to the end and out the other side or istg

-

OH NO WHERE DID BABE GO

-

babe is named stevie

BRIng STEVIE BACK

-

05:09

THIS PLACE IS CALLED KIM MANOR

-

we’re like 1/3 of the way into this episode?? damn

-

cas and jack hanging out on the hood of the impala like the brothers did all those years ago

good family talk spot

-

05:13

high quality face

-

05:15

cas: WE DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE USEFUL OR--

cas baby yesssssssssssssssssssssss

these are the words cas can say because he knows them for himself

-

05:19

THE DOTS ON SAM’S PHONE CHAT WITH EILEEN

DISAPPEARING

OH...................

-

05:26

DONNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh i wish we’d had more donna and jody :/

-

05:29

dean’s gonna lose cas and then it’s gonna be the sam+charlie+dean “i just lost my lover” club :c

-

05:34

just thinkin about the ending of the final episode

the only two endings i really want are:

everyone we love is somehow alive and they drive into the sunset

they all die but wake up in heaven and there’ll be peace when you are done

or some combination thereof

-

05:37

billie: i didn’t hurt your friends

yeah i thought not

-

bobby vanishes and my eyes flood with tears

that last look between him and sam........

-

wait when was donna from another universe??? or did she die at some point

WOW I’VE FORGOTTEN A LOT

-

05:42

dean: “what do we do, ca--- my heart”

.......

yep

i’m not ready for whatever’s about to happen

-

I’M SO !!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE THE FACT THEY JUST WON’T DIE

AND THEY ALWAYS COME BACK

IS THE SEMI-BOSS FIGHT

I’M LOVING THIS

EVEN THOUGH I HATE IT

-

05:46

this sure is a screenshot huh

-

05:49

/mutes discord bc this needs all of my attention

-

05:51

cas’ eyes are starting to tear up and he’s smiling as he starts to talk and ohhhhhhhhh here it comes

-

05:53

there’s.

literally.

a wall.

between them.

talk about SYMBOLISM

-

jensen’s pupils are so wide right now holy shit

-

“you are the most caring man on earth”

dean looking at these words like it’s news to him

;~;

cas

thank you for saying these things we’ve all been yelling at the screen for years

-

05:58

DEAN HAS CAS’ BLOODY HANDPRINT ON HIS JACKET

........i can’t let myself believe that was it

THERE WILL BE MORE

SURELY

like

in no conceivable world do the writers get this far, give us THAT, and have it never be mentioned again or properly resolved

hello yes i’m waiting for the magic ritual where cas’ bloody handprint plays a part

-

06:02

yeah i mean

if they saved the whole world multiple times over

everyone’s gotta go

-

oh dean................. oh no

-

GOD

THAT REALLY WAS SOMETHING HUH

i feel like my full reaction is reserved 

because this was half a story. this was one-sided and it was just cas’ monologue. dean has things to say

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT OVER

i know people (misha??) has said it’s a permadeath but i do not believe that, and i don’t believe anything anyone says about what’s coming tbh

i got an anon in my inbox a few weeks ago who correctly predicted this, saying they knew someone on set, but like......... the real ending would be top secret and anything that gets out would not end up in the inbox of some fic author along with a bad vibe. (i didn’t answer it, not wanting to stir up shit.)

that anon said cas isn’t in the last two episodes. except that can’t possibly be true because we, the audience, can see people in the empty, and cas still needs to yell at the empty, and death is in there too... and the empty just wants to sleep so we need to see that too, and cas would be there.

THERE’S MORE TO COME, KIDS

two episodes left

i’m wary of the next one because it’s the deadly duo writing, but they seem to be okayish these days so maybe it’ll be fine

but the finale..... fingers crossed <3

fingers also crossed for a blue georgia, north carolina, and pennsylvania <3

/goes back to cnn livestream because I WANNA WATCH WHEN GEORGIA FLIPS

also. back to spn for a sec. i’m a leeeeeeetle bit mad that the gay black woman disappears first. like i know everyone died but. haven’t we had enough of that??

10/10 even so BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN BETTER

eh. this show is what it is, and i just gotta accept that, BUT ALSO I THINK WE’RE GENUINELY GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH DEAN AND CAS HERE

but only so long as this actually has a conclusion

which it must do

because this is very much an emotional cliffhanger. cas just emotion-dumped and then fucked off so dEAN’S GOTTA PROCESS AND THEN CHASE HIM

OBVIOUSLY

BECAUSE THAT’S HOW LOVE STORIES WORK

we didn’t watch 15 years of this thing only to be given half of what we wanted in the closing moments, and then get left left high and dry. the writers/producers are clearly willing to give us canon love confessions, and they're not gonna get as far as this, with a finale as tense and dramatic as this, and be like lol dean's straight and only likes cas as a friend........... after he’s dead and died for the joy of their love........... that's beyond madness

and dean needs to SPEAK. there are so many things he’d never said. and he needs to say them to cas. he was basically silent in this conversation and you can’t just say that’s their ending. it’s not their ending.

AND LIKE

IF THIS SHOW AND THIS FINALE AND THIS SEASON HAS PROVED ANYTHING

IT’S THAT NOBODY STAYS DEAD

AND WHATEVER THE WRITER INTENDS, THE CHARACTERS HAVE THEIR OWN DESIRES AND DRIVES

AND FOR THAT REASON, GAY LOVE WILL PIERCE THROUGH THE VEIL OF DEATH AND SAVE THE DAY

[fairycosmos]

chloe what do you do when you feel really suicidal? but like not like before- but NOW that you are grieving such a painful loss? dont need to answer but i read your a. to the anon that felt trapped and like they couldnt leave now bc their sibling died too and like you and that anon i feel the same. im so so suicidal chloe. i cry every day and night and i feel despertate but my parents just lost their child so. how do you cope... as much as its possible. what do we do? fuck.

dude i am so sorry you're in the same position as me and you are going to hate me for saying it but there is no satisfactory answer 😔 it's a cruel joke. we're in the worst pain we've ever been in, and our instinct is to want to make that stop. but we can't because now we're obligated to stay alive, where all the hurt is, because we're one of the only ones left. and we dont want to cause more of this feeling by ending it all. it's like a contract you didn't agree to and are now trapped in for the foreseeable. grief is the absolute heaviest thing a person can carry, it's a fucking nightmare. it doesn't make any sense, it doesn't have a cure and it's disorienting as fuck. it's ok to be exhausted by it. reality has been irreparably  worsened and it's an absolute tragedy,  it's completely unfair. personally i'm more suicidal than i've ever been, but like you, i know i'm not going to do anything.  and in moments of great pain, where i want to act on those thoughts, i find myself coming back to that fact. i watch the idea of suicide run its course through my head and then i acknowledge the reality of things, that i can't leave. that it doesn't matter how sad i am and how tired i am, because i'm still here, and processing these emotions is a part of that. the urge to kill myself is there, but the actual act of suicide has never been less of an option than it is right now. so i can feel whatever i need to feel, but there's no point leaning into it or daydreaming about it. because it's not going to happen. sometimes i'm screaming and crying to myself in absolute agony while this is all going on, and sometimes i'm just sitting staring at my phone, numb. the desperation is very real, and i understand that. but it is not as urgent as it feels in the moment. no matter how many times i think i'm at my limit, i know that there's going to be tomorrow. and at the moment that sounds like a really bad thing. but i know that by waking up my parents aren't getting a call saying i'm dead, which for now is kind of the whole point. i am living to minimize their trauma, i am living for them, and an optimist would have hope that that could keep me alive long enough until i get to the point where i can eventually live for myself again. i could definitely see that for your future, even if you can't. the thing is you don't have to know what to do and you dont have to look for ways to fill the void that has been left behind by your sibling. you just have to learn to exist alongside it, and i do mean just exist. as awful as it is. waking up, putting one foot in front of the other, crying and crying and crying. that is good enough. i know it doesn't feel like much of a life, but. it's the short term answer, or so it seems to me. another thing i remind myself of is how it all comes in waves. waves are the nature of both grief, and strong suicidal urges. maybe they're always running in the background, but the moments of pure despair where you feel like you're bursting at the seams, they're so strong and harsh that they flare out faster than you realize. and they feel unbearable, and i know those moments are very frequent when you're in our position, but it's good to remember that the intensity of their nature makes them temporary.  especially if the grief is fresh, every little thing triggers an avalanche of hopelessness.  but some part of me believes these experiences will either a. become less persistent with time or b. become a part of us we learn how to navigate.  at the moment, the simple act of being completely broken by these episodes means you're surviving them. i think it's not a matter of knowing how to cope, but knowing that if you're here to ask these questions - what do i do, how do i go on, etc - then that is proof you have been coping. and it probably doesn't feel like you have been. i think there's a common misconception that coping is thriving, letting go, having positive memories. and sure that's a part of it. but there is a lot of darkness and absolute horror to work through before that. additionally,  there is no rule book on how exactly to work through it. theres just time, experience, learning what works for you and hanging on. i'm trying to hold my own hand through it, i'm trying to look at the present moment i'm in and just think about what i need at that very second.  not what i'm going to do tomorrow, not what i should've done yesterday, but what i have to do right now to make it through.  a lot of the time the answer is nothing, and i just sit and stare or cry, because like i said, ultimately nothing can fix it. theres no epiphany that can change what happened. 

as far as practical things you can to do combat suicidal thoughts goes, i have a few suggestions that i really hope you consider as viable choices: talk to your doctor/therapist - idk where you live or what your financial situation is like, but if it's at all an option i would really urge you to seek professional help. at least let your GP know what you're dealing with so maybe they can refer you to a therapist, or give you some mental health resources. grief counselling is also a step in the right direction. having someone to talk to and implementing positive coping mechanisms into your day to day life, even if it's the last thing on earth you want to do, can work wonders. understanding your own suicidal thoughts, why you react the way you do and what you can do about it, can really come in handy when you're breaking down. it's ok to reach out. it's ok to visit different counsellors until you find one that fits you. it's ok to treat your emotional turmoil as seriously as you'd treat any physical disease. there is always support and treatment options available in some form, and it is always worth looking into.

call a (grief or suicide) hotline - i've had the hotline number open in my browser for days. if you are in a moment of crisis, it can absolutely help to have someone talk you through your emotions, listen to your pain, and then give you some gentle recommendations as to what you should do next or where to go from here. you don't have to tell them your name, you don't have to say anything you don't want to say. you're in control of the call and they care about keeping you going. you're not alone. theres also online grief support groups - i'm in a sibling loss group on fb.  it's absolutely crazy how many people are in this position. 

talk to your parents/family/friends - i know saying 'this is a tough one' is a giant understatement.  idk if it's the same for you, but i've been isolating to cope and i don't want to tell anyone what i'm thinking because they're already having such a hard time grieving my sister. but if there's anyone you trust, i just want you to know it's alright to lean on them. it's up to you how much you open up, but the urge to keep to yourself leads nowhere. those around you can relate (to an extent) with your grief, and sharing it, talking about memories and crying together - it's fucking awful, god it's the worst thing ever, but it's necessary. and i don't want to say it helps, but a shared burden is always better than trying to shoulder it alone. you deserve to be listened to and supported. and if you think you're being an inconvenience to your loved ones, that's your inner self hatred talking. they would likely rather be there for you when you need it, than have you harm yourself because you kept it all pent up. it's a lot easier said than done, but it's important to keep in mind that it's an option.

try to create a safe space - try to remove things from your living space you could use to harm yourself with, and make the environment as comforting as possible. refer back to safe coping mechanisms/ distractions that have worked in the past - this can be as simple as going for a walk, watching stupid shit on your phone, meditation, having a crying session, writing to your sibling or just about how you feel in general. these are not suggestions that will solve anything or cure mental illness by any stretch of the imagination.  they just get you out of your head. that can really make a difference. 

create a crisis plan and learn what triggers you - this is a bit of a process but that's alright. being able to identify what sets you off, and being able to recognize your own toxic thinking patterns/behaviours, is the first step towards combatting them. another idea is, if you do end up talking to a loved one or a mental health professional, come up with a plan with them regarding what they should do when you're suicidal and your judgement is impaired. you can even start by just making one for yourself, like writing down a few suggestions as to what you should do when you're in a crisis, what your other options besides suicide are. 

i think that's all i've got right now. i'm sorry this got so long, especially when i know nothing truly helps. i just know what it's like having all this useless life in front of you that you're going to have to fight through without the one person who always should've been there. i keep thinking about what she'd say to me if she could see me, and i know she'd be livid if i threw my life away, but. that doesn't change the fact that she didn't get to live hers, and that i miss her so so much it aches. i keep coming back to the idea that our relationship will continue to grow beyond  death. i can still talk to her, reminisce  with her, understand her, love her. so much of this reality was shaped by her. it's not the same as when she was here, but it's not total absence  either.  anyway, i'm so so sorry for your loss and i hope you can just focus on taking care of yourself, love. because your life still has so much worth and you deserve to see your own future even if you cant stand the thought. moments of happiness and peace are still 100% possible. it's just never going to feel like it did before. and it's ok if you spend the rest of your life struggling to come to terms with that fact, because at least you got to live the rest of your life. i'm sending so much love to you and i'll be here if you need a friend. one day at a time.

*no pressure to read all this you can just refer back to it whenever you feel the need

[thepalatine]

Random thoughts about the Seven Soldiers in Stargirl

--ok, so is it just me or does Pat talk about the Seven Soldiers in a different way than the JSA?

I mean, with the JSA I always get this sense of distance between them and Pat. Not that he didn’t care about them--that’s not what I mean, rather, it’s like he’s got this idea of the JSA as a group of heroes that were much greater and more impressive than he was or is. Whereas with the Soldiers, I get the impression that Pat felt very much a part of that group.

With the JSA, he’s taking the picture, not being in it. there’s also that stuff with Sly telling him that he’s a sidekick, not a part of the JSA. The stuff with Sly could always have it’s roots with other things---i’m not denying that, but...it’s hard to argue the fact that he’s not even IN the picture with the JSA.

Contrast that with the pic of the Seven Soldiers. In that picture, Stripe is unquestionably a part of the group. Not only is he there, but he looks happy and relaxed. And as the incredible @joelsmchale pointed out--he’s standing next to Sylvester, very much an equal partner, whereas Wing and Speedy are kneeling beside their respective “senior” partners. 

And let’s be real, in the old Seven Soldiers comics there was no question that Stripe was an equal member. He was literally the other half to the Stars and Stripes theme. They were very much a package deal.

But back to the show...the way Pat talks about the Soldiers is interesting too. It’s always “we,” with the Soldiers. And there’s a certain degree of protectiveness in the way Pat talks about them. He makes a point to say that they saved a lot of lives, even the world, but that they’d never gotten the kind of fanfare or credit for it that the JSA did and when he says it, he doesn’t blame the JSA but there’s the slightest hint of something in his voice that’s different from the way Pat usually talks about them. Is it anger? Bitterness? Sadness? on behalf of his friends?

I’m not entirely sure, but it’s something to chew on.

Also, there’s the way he talks about them. He calls them good men, just doing their best and he acknowledges that they all had their struggles (and how would Pat know about their struggles if they weren’t more than a little close?). It’s a nice little moment because hasn’t that always been a big part of the appeal of the Seven Soldiers?

That they were just regular men who saw injustice and were trying, even in their own small way, to do something about it?

I know it was for me.

Finally, there’s the way Pat talks about missing them. He says they fell out of touch and he wishes he knew where they were, but he just sounds so damn sad!! And i loooove the way Luke Wilson played it because sometimes the viewer needs to remember that Pat spent his superheroic career in groups and now, he’s all alone and beyond the logistical difficulties of that, there’s also gottta be some really hard feelings that come along with it.

A recurring theme we’ve seen in Pat’s life is loss and the way he talked about the Seven Soldiers really drove that point home.

I don’t know y’all. Maybe i’m just imagining things bc I am a Seven Soldiers nut from way back in the day, but when Pat talks about them there’s a sense of warmth and familiarity that I don’t get when he talks about the JSA.

And i really loved it when he said that they were just good men doing their best because I feel like that was such a guiding sentiment of those heroes. One that was summed up best by Vigilante in El Diablo #12 when the eponymous hero was despairing of his ability to make a significant dent in villainous behavior:

"Whoa! I know what you're feeling, son. I've been down that trail, too. But listen to me ... you can't do enough good. You can't stop more than one out of ten thousand crimes that go on out there. There's only one thing you can do. Send a message. Make the bad-guys afraid. Make the plain folks a little bolder. Let 'em know that the ol' law still has some punch in it!"

anyway i been dying to talk about this since i saw the episode but it’s been a hellacious week at work so i’m just now getting around to it and it was a rough day at work so i am tired and probably not making any sense any more but....

some day soon i wanna word vomit about the ways class may have shaped and influenced Pat as a character but guess i oughta sleep or something now

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

I am in. love. with the way you write Valter. You somehow capture his eerie calmness in a way I’ve never seen before! ❤️ I’d die if you published any more content for the trash man (If you need specifics, maybe a dignified summoner giving him a serious compliment?) Anyways, I love your work!!

This comment means so much to me because (and I say this in the middle of writing this request) Valter is just… hard for me to capture bc as much as I like him its hard for me to write like… mean people? So I hope you like this, anon, its gonna get kinda long!  Oppsie how did this piece end up being 3000 words? What’s up with that? I hope you like it anon, I feel like I may have gotten a little too ooc but like… oh well!

Winter festivities may have been over, but the weather was still here to stay for some time. It was snowing in full swing, but still, the enemy came to you; the blizzard had caught everyone by surprise, and when you had been ordering your forces to retreat, you got cut off from most of them. You were alone and fearful. What if the enemy found you first? What if you simply died from exposure in this cold? What a way for the legendary Summoner to die. All the enemies you had managed to outwit prior would be laughing, hell the lot of them are likely laughing at your despair right this moment.

You hadn’t quite given up, but you were ready to scream out of frustration when in the surge of white and nothingness pushed up quickly around you. You cursed this new blanket of snow and covered your eyes as best you could, squinting against the blinding color to see what had happened. Would this be your demise or your savior? It finally cleared so you could see what was before you, a familiar, albeit, gruff, wyvern and it’s ruthless master. Upon seeing Valter, you couldn’t quite say if this would be the death of you or not. You couldn’t quite tell with him, but the contract bound him. Perhaps you would be safe with him. He was the closest thing to an ally around you right now, and your only hope.

“Where is everyone else?” You had to raise your voice in the shrill of the storm, moving closer to Valter so he could hear you. His wyvern was also big enough to provide a bit of cover from the storm. Its scales must have been thicker than you could tell because it didn’t seem to mind the cold at all. In fact, Valter didn’t seem to mind either. He had that same smirk on his face as usual, probably due to the circumstances you currently found yourself in. Probably took some sick pleasure in knowing he was your only hope, but no need to dwell on that.

“You’re the only one I’ve been able to find, Summoner. It seems we’ve been cut off from the main force.” He wasn’t meeting your gaze, not due to shyness or awkwardness, but to make sure you weren’t followed. His survey of the arena turned out short and he continued speaking. “You’re lucky, that cloak of yours lets you blend into the snow well.” He stepped closer to you and blocked even more cold from you. You didn’t want to admit how much you appreciated that, you were freezing, because you knew the gesture was meant to intimidate you. “But you are my prey, and no matter what, I shall find you.” You frowned and crossed your arms, looking up at him.

“That’s great, but can you take us back to our main force? I can’t stay out there like this much longer or I get hypothermia. I’m already starting to lose feeling in my hands.” Valter studied you a moment, from your slight shivering, how you were trying to stop your teeth from chattering, and how you still managed to look angry at him through you frozen bangs.

“The storm is getting too thick for me to search properly. However,” His lips curled into a bigger grin, one that would have made you frown more had you energy to do so. “I passed by a shelter not far from here, we should be able to make it there and wait out the brunt of this storm.” You rolled your eyes and sighed.

“Okay then, lead the way.” He jumped atop his wyvern, and without much of asking, pulled you atop in front of him as well.

“Be careful not to fall Summoner.” Valter’s chuckle rang through your ears as his arms circled either side of your waist to pick up the reins. With a quick snap, his wyvern was once more in the air, and you squealed in surprise. You wouldn’t fall off due to his arms on either side of you yet you still felt unsafe. Your fear kept you from speaking, and the blistering wind hitting your face kept your eyes closed. Your pressed close to Valter, just wishing this experience to be over.

It wasn’t long before you heard Valter laugh again. “There was no need to be so frighted, no harm would have befallen you.” You slowly open your eyes and saw Valter was already standing just outside a small cabin. The place even had a sizable barn nearby, with large enough doors for Valter’s wyvern to stay in.

“With you, I’m never certain,” You grumbled, trying to look for a way down without hurting yourself. You never understood how he seemed to just jump on and off this beast. Wordlessly, Valter offered you his hand. Slowly, you took it, and he helped you down. “Thank you…” Your words were quiet as if not meant for his ears. Valter heard them well enough, though. Seemed he had no intention to say your welcome, though. You turned away from him, and knocked on the door a few times, only for the door to push in by its self. You pushed in more and took a hesitant step inside the cold place. Valter wasn’t far behind and was quick to place a warning hand on your shoulder. You didn’t very well expect this to be a trap, but it was better to be wary in these situations you supposed. So, you let him take the lead to see what was inside this one room cabin.

It was dark but still spacious. If anything, it looked hastily abandoned. You could make out the vague shape of an overturned table, a bed moved away from the wall, and other clutter. “I think its clear…” Your voice was soft, sad. “The battle was so close to here… whoever lived here must have fled in fear.” Valter didn’t respond but replaced his weapon on his back, doing a once over of the place. “You should lead your wyvern to that barn, so it at least has cover from the elements. I’ll see if I can get a fire started in here.” You looked to him, and though he was frowning, left to do as you asked. You weren’t sure if he had much care in his heart for that wyvern, but at least he seemed to take care of it. More like a weapon than a companion, though.

It was hard for your eyes to adjust from the blinding white of snow to the darkness of the cabin you found yourself in. You stuck close to the wall, moving to the far end where a single, small window illuminated a fireplace. The place was a little messy, as you had said someone left in a hurry and left many things behind. When you could finally see better, you searched around for anything that might help you start this fire. Coals were in there, and it fact it was already made with tinder and smaller logs as if someone were planning on using it soon. Was there flint around here, or two rocks you could strike together? Hell, if you could find a fire tome you could make that work. You had very little practice with a tome (all in an effort to grow more useful to the Order of Heroes, though your practice mostly was “reading the same tome five times over to understand it”). With luck, you found some flint and a small steel dagger to strike it against. Crouching down, you neared the tinder pile, and struck the dagger, once, twice, it was only by the third time did you get a spark large enough to catch one of the dried leaves. You quickly backed your hands off and stood, dusting yourself off as you did so. Lucky for you, the flame took to the tinder and slowly the pieces of wood were catching flame as well. Soon, the cold and the dark would leave this cabin and you could think more clearly.

Valter chose that time to come back in then, closing and locking the door behind him. You were quiet, choosing instead to tidy up the place as the light slowly began to grow from behind you. The air was tense, but perhaps only for you. You knew Valter would be fine with just the two of you for an indefinite amount of time, but would you? How long would the storm outside rage, and your allies wonder what happened to you? You didn’t want to know how long. Surely after they retreated, there would be search parties.

“You’ve been staring for a few minutes now, Summoner. Are you sure you’re all there?” You blinked, clearing your foggy vision and focusing once more on Valter. You studied him a moment more,  seeing as he sat on a small couch near to the fire, and shook your head.

“Just lost in my thoughts is all.” now that it was getting warmer, you realized just how soaked you and your cloak were. Your cloak and boots at least could dry next to the fire thank, but you had nothing else to change into here. You sighed now, unsure what to do or really how to conduct yourself. Near the fire, on the side opposing where the couch sat were what looked to be cupboards. They were thrown open and some of the contents spilling to the counter below. By the light of the fire, you could tell it was… some sort of food. Some of it had been taken when the occupants fled, but you could see mason jars with preserves in there, both fruit and vegetables, dried meats left behind, and a barrel in the furthest corner half filled with water. Though, you supposed, if you really needed water you only need collect some snow and let it melt before the fire.

“It looks like whoever was here before us left enough preserves for us to stay here the next few days, though I don’t think its enough to last us a week. Hopefully, this storm will pass soon and we can meet up with our main force.” You really didn’t feel like eating, or drinking, or anything really. A sigh left you. Valter turned and peaked through the curtains behind him.

“The storm won’t be letting up any time soon, Summoner. Rest if you need to.” You frowned but moved to the bed near to the food storage. You pushed it back against the wall, only for extra blankets to appear folded where it once covered. You wanted them for yourself but… You very well didn’t want Valter to have an excuse to share this bed with you. So, you moved over to the opposite side of the couch, and placed it there. “… Make sure you get some rest as well, okay? It’s unlikely our enemy will find us here if they dare to brave that storm at all.” He nodded, acknowledging your words but still looking out at the storm. You were feeling fatigued anyway, so perhaps sleeping earlier would be best for you.

So you moved back to the bed, shaking out the blanket and wiping off the sheets just in case. You took one glace at Valter, then back to the bed. You would get under the covers, and then take off your wet clothing. It could dry overnight on the bed frame, and if you were lucky you would awaken before Valter and be able to put them, and your cloak, back on. When you were finished awkwardly wiggling out of your clothing (you were sure he noticed though he hadn’t turned your way once while you did so), you realized you could hardly keep your eyes open. Though still wary of Valter, you cuddled up into the blanket and allowed yourself to drift off. Hoping that soon, the storm would be over or clear enough that you could attempt to move through it.

Valter waited and watched. When your breathing slowed, and your eyes finally closed, he still waited and watched. It could have been an hour or more, it was hard to tell the time now, but he was sure it had been about half an hour since you laid down, surely you were sleeping. So he rose, and took your damp clothing closer to the fire to dry first of all, and added more wood to the fire next. Then he moved to where you claimed the food was and put it away properly. There was a turned over table near the bed, one he was sure you weren’t strong enough to have righted yourself, so he went ahead and fixed that as well. Through it all, he was telling himself that he may as well fix things if he were forced to be here for the next few days, but a small part of him he refused to let have voice knew you would appreciate the sentiment. He straightened a few more things before looking out the window again. Your position was likely safe but it never hurt to be cautious. When he had seemingly done all he could, Valter decided he may as well get some semblance of rest for the next. It would be a light rest though, and he would be sure to awaken at a sign of trouble.

~*~

You woke surprisingly well rested and warm, you could almost forget where you were. But these blankets were a little scratchy against your bare skin–

Your eyes shot open and you surveyed your surroundings. The first thing you noticed, your clothing was not hanging off the footboard of the bed where you left it, but instead neatly folded by your feet. And something smelt… really good, actually. Like warm food. Glancing over at the fire, you could see Valter awake before it, crouching down to stir whatever it was he had in a small cooking cauldron. You wondered, a moment if he actually knew how to cook…

But that could be pondered later, for now, you needed to dress again. And go reclaim your surely warm cloak that still hung by the fire. But how to dress without alerting Valter. You were sure if he knew you were awake he would take the utmost delight and watching you squirm under his gaze, struggling to put your clothing on as quick as possible… You shook your head and sighed. That sill didn’t explain how your clothing ended up folded at the end of the bed. You didn’t remember doing that, and the only other person who could have….

Your gaze shifted to Valter, who has just turned your direction was a passive look, only to crack a little smirk at seeing your eyes open. “Finally up?” You were wary at the tone of his voice, the slight teasing tone it took. “You can thank me later for drying your clothing.” He turned away from you and back to the food. “If you plan to leave that bed at all, put your clothing on quickly. The storm isn’t getting any better.” You sat up in the bed, making sure the blanket still covered your torso as you reached for your shirt. If Valter had any intention of watching he didn’t show it now, apparently too focused on the food before him. Shirt safely on, you reached for your pants now in hopes of shrugging those on as well. You didn’t want to start at him while you changed but you wanted to be sure he didn’t try and sneak a lot.

“With the way your gaze is fixed on me, you would think I was the one changing.” He turned your way just as you got your pants up to your hips and in place, and you sent him a frown but ultimately sighed.

“Thanks for drying my clothing, I suppose…” You looked away from him now, grabbing your socks so padding across the floor to your boots wouldn’t be total hell. “I don’t know why you’re doing this, and even if you see it as a personal gain for some twisted reason, you’re still helping me.” he was frowning at you now, gaze fixed into a look that was a mixture amusement and anger.

“You’re no good to me dead.” he huffed turning his back to you. You had only just noticed he wasn’t in his usual armor, just the casual clothing that sat under it. You kinda liked getting under his skin like this, though, maybe you should continue.

“Sure, sure.” you couldn’t help but laugh a little, standing on the cold floor to move to your boots and cloak. “It’s just interesting to see…” You hesitated to use the word in reference to Valter, but… “well, nice.” You stifled a laugh, seeing him freeze a moment in his tracts.

“Something funny Summoner?” he turned to you, arching a brow. By now you had everything on safely and were feeling toasty and warm.

“Oh nothing it’s just… interesting to see how you act now that we’re alone.” You hummed. He strode over and stood over you.

“Don’t forget our relationship– you are my prey, and I will break you.” This time when it came from his lips, it didn’t sound very convincing.

“And I suppose you hope to do that by being helpful?” You gave him a big smile, one he never thought you would ever direct at him. Damn the way it made his heart pound.

“What fun is there in breaking an already wounded animal?” He leaned down to your level, dangerously close to your face.

“We’ll see just what kind of ‘breaking’ you can do during our time here, Valter.” You were the first to step away, and he let you, watching as you moved back to the other side of the cabin. You weren’t sure what spurred that interaction them. You were certain Valter was a cruel and unusual man, though you wondered, why was it you that caused him to deviate from his norm? There was no placing it, you supposed, but perhaps if your entire stay went this smoothly things would be okay.

[jaeminlore]

The Adventure Continues // Na Jaemin

Pt 1

-

summary: prince!jaemin part two where jaemin and you meet again, only this time he is engaged to be married.

words: 6063

category: angst + fluff, prince au

author note: it was nice to return to this au (also it somehow turned into my second longest scenario ever so maybe i got a bit carried away but how can you not it’s jaEMIN). as usual i miss jaemin and wish he would just show himself to us bc i miss my bestest pal. i hope he’s safe and healthy and being loved by his family.

- destinee

honestly if sm doesn’t update us on this pure snickerdoodle i will swim over to south korea mYSELF WATCH ME

-

Jaemin found himself sitting on the stone edge of the right side turret of his family’s castle. With his feet weighted by heavy boots, he found that he couldn’t hardly swing his feet back and forth like he pleased.

Instead, he let them hang limp, perhaps to mirror the feeling of despair that had settled in his stomach. In just two years, schedules and duties had distracted him from any kind of adventure he had dreamed of, bit more than anything, it kept him from you.

Jaemin thought about you often, and he wondered how you were doing. Your grandfather visited the kingdom every once in awhile for routine smithing and repairs. The young prince had followed him around for the first few months, asking questions about how you were doing.

Apparently, your grandmother’s condition had only worsened into something much more serious than a cold. Your grandfather informed Jaemin that you had been giving all your time to take care of her, and you wouldn’t be visiting the castle any time soon.

Months went by, and you still hadn’t visited. Then your grandmother passed away, and Jaemin felt his heart breaking along with yours. He wished to visit you and comfort you. He wanted more than anything to gather you in his arms and assure you that he was there. He wouldn’t leave your side.

They would just be empty promises, he often had to remind himself. The truth was that he was a prince unable to ignore his duties just to comfort someone. His job was much bigger, unfortunately, and he had to tend to the needs of the kingdom before he could tend to the needs of you.

Although he wanted more than anything to just throw down his metaphorical crown and run back to you.

Worries haunted him day to day. What if you had forgotten about him? What if you thought he forgot about you? What if you thought he was deliberately ignoring you?

Unfortunately, his worries hadn’t lessened in the past two years. If anything, they only came back stronger. Especially since his parents had just announced that he would be betrothed to one of the ladies who lived in the kingdom.

All of this would explain the disheartened spirit of the prince as he sat on the turret.

He held a sword in his lap, one with badly whittled initials in the hilt. His nineteen-year-old hands were more worn than his seventeen-year-old hands. The pad of his thumb was rough against the smooth hilt of the sword.

Jaemin sighed and looked out at the view before him. Somewhere out there was your small cottage, playing as a shelter for you and your grandfather.

You didn’t know what had happened earlier that day. Jaemin wasn’t sure you would, until it was officially announced by the local newsboys. He wanted to tell you himself though, and ask what he was supposed to do about it. He wanted to ask how he could marry anyone when you were the only thing on his mind.

A guard appeared on the turret. “Your Highness? Her Majesty has requested that you come spend lunch with Lady Havergaud immediately.”

Jaemin turned slightly to assure the guard, “Coming!”

-

You pulled the wool blanket closer under your grandfather’s chin. “Don’t worry, alright? You’ll be fine.”

He coughed, and a jolt of fear ran up your spine as you thought of him perhaps having what your grandmother died of. He had been depressed since she died two years ago, and the stress weighed heavy on his shoulders as he still did smithing work for the kingdom.

“I have an order,” he said. “I have to deliver the swords to the castle.”

“I’ve got it,” you assured him. “You taught me everything, remember? This way I can take over while you’re recovering.”

“Are you sure you can handle it?”

“I’ve got it. Trust me.” You leaned down to kiss his cheek, “Now go to sleep, and when you wake up I will be back with a warm pot of soup waiting for you.”

“Thank you, Y/n.”

The past two years hadn’t really been kind to you either. You had taken over your grandmother’s work, along with daily deliveries and lessons from the forge. Your grandfather thought it was important for you to learn the trade that brought income into the house, so that if anything were to happen to him you could step up.

Unfortunately, that time came sooner than later, so you were stuck doing day-to-day work with little rest. Your smooth hands were replaced by the rough and calloused palms of a blacksmith. Your hair was cut short, to keep from getting caught in the metal and fire of the forge you worked in. Your skin was often covered in a layer of dirt by the end of the day.

Entering the forge, you picked up the many swords given to you by the castle guards only yesterday. It was important to work on the swords quickly, so you and your grandfather often lost sleep over the knight’s swords you had committed to cleaning.

You sheathed each of the swords and placed them in a large carpetbag. Then, swinging the bag over your shoulder, you began the long walk to the castle.

-

Upon your arrival, your heart beat rose at the thought of who lived behind the walls. You hadn’t forgotten about the prince, although you were sure he had forgotten about you.

Because of everything that had happened, you really hadn’t had any time to visit him, even though he invited you to. You were busy with more important things than following the prince around all day. No matter how fun the latter sounded, you owed it to your grandfather to help him in any way you could.

Once you showed him the bag of swords, the castle guard opened the gate and allowed you inside. You eyes widened in bewilderment as you gazed down the well-lit stone walls. The entire castle seemed bright and cheerful, despite being made of dark gray stone. It reminded you of Jaemin’s positive vibes, and for a fleeting moment you could hear his cheerful voice in your head, convincing the castle decorators to make the interior of the castle more bright and welcoming.

“Y/n?” You turned at the familiar voice, and the sword hilts against your back all clanged together at the sudden movement.

“Mark!” you said happily. “How are you? I haven’t seen you since you moved to the castle!”

“I’m great!” he answered. “I’ll be completing my knight’s training next year. How’s your grandfather?”

“Not good,” you sighed. “He’s gotten much weaker from all the stress of Grandmother being gone. He won’t admit it, but he needs to rest for awhile.”

“He hasn’t rested since the funeral, had he?” Mark guessed.

“Works distracts him,” you supposed. “It also adds more stress to him, which is why I want him to rest. I can work the forge while he’s gone.”

“Speaking of.” Mark grinned and reached up and pulled something out of your hair. “You’ve got some ashes in your hair.”

You shrugged. “That happens when you work in a forge. Now, do you know where I deliver these swords?”

“Oh, I’ll take them. I’m on my way to the practice ground right now.”

You transferred the carpet bag onto his back, the whole time looking around.

“How in the world did you carry these?” Mark groaned under the weight of the bag.

“Practice,” you mumbled, peering down the hall.

“He’s at lunch with his fiancée,” Mark answered your unasked question.

“Fiancée?” Your voice caught on the word, as if it pained you to actually say it.

Mark looked sheepish. “I forgot they hadn’t announced it yet. Jaemin’s betrothed to a Lady.”

“Oh. Well, wish him well for me.” You forced your lips to turn up in a smile, “I’ll be going now.”

-

You subconsciously played with the ring on your finger as you walked into your home. “Grandfather? I’m home!”

“How’d it go?” he yelled from his room, coughing the final word.

You entered his room. “How long have you been awake?”

“Only a few minutes,” he assured you. “Tell me, did you see Jaemin?”

You hated to disappoint him, seeing the twinkle in his watery eyes. “No. I only saw Mark. Jaemin’s engaged, you know.”

“Really?” Your grandfather tutted. “I never really understood rich people and their arranged marriages. How bad is it for the prince to marry the one he loves?”

“It’s been two years, Grandfather. We’ve both grown since then and I’m not quite sure he loves me in the same innocent, childish way he used to.”

“First love is always innocent and childish. True love is the most innocent love there is, Y/n. He asks about you all the time, so there must be some feelings still there.”

You smiled bitterly. “Thanks, Grandfather. I appreciate you trying to cheer me up. Now, let me make you some soup and then I’ll go back out to the market.”

“As you wish,” he replied. “Choose to stubbornly ignore my words.”

You laughed, “I can’t get my hopes up, Grandfather. I’ve got so much more to do now than pine after a prince.”

-

Jaemin stiffly bowed to the Lady Havergaud. Her first name was Gwen, but Jaemin wasn’t sure he was ready to call her by that just yet.

She was dressed like every other nobleman he knew. Bright and colorful clothes, powdered makeup, and hair done up extravagantly.

“Your Highness,” she spoke with a knowing lilt in her voice. “How marvelous to meet your acquaintance.”

“It’s just Jaemin,” the prince said awkwardly. He shifted from foot to foot as he waited for someone to rescue him from this awkward encounter. When no one intervened, he supposed he would have to save himself. “Well, let’s have some lunch. Mother is probably waiting for us.”

She accepted his arm, using her gloves hand to keep a firm grip on him. “You’re not very muscular,” she spoke honestly. “I thought princes went through training to become stronger.”

“I’m strong,” Jaemin retorted.

“Of course, Darling,” the way she said it was patronizing and condescending. “When we marry, I’ll put you under a special diet and training program that will surely make your more buff and fit.”

Jaemin bit his lip to keep from biting back a sharp remark. Why did he have to be buff to run a kingdom? And, he would have her know, he was already fit.

“Be sure to eat more, okay?” She said. “I want my husband to be the envy of all the land.”

Jaemin couldn’t believe his ears. “Does my royal title mean nothing to the ladies?”

Gwen laughed loudly and slapped his arm. “You’re cute. When we’re married, let me do the talking at social events, okay?”

Jaemin gritted his teeth and only nodded. But deep inside there was a pang of regret and despair, knowing this would be his future.

Couldn’t he just run away? Couldn’t he just stop being prince for one moment and go on another adventure?

Couldn’t he go see you one last time?

Instead, he was stuck with someone who obviously only liked him for his title, and was already planning on changing him. Wonderful.

-

“Grandfather, you need to drink some water. If you get dehydrated, the sickness could get worse.” You struggled to get him to drink anything.

For the past few days, his fever had worsened. Now he was both throwing up and convulsing. Fear struck your heart, since he was doing everything your grandmother had done before she passed away.

If you could afford the cure for your grandfather, you could avoid the heartache. He could get better and you wouldn’t have to go through the pain of losing someone again.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t afford it. The village healer made that clear during his visit. “If you go to the castle healer, you can request the cure. However, I can guarantee it’s going to be worth an arm and a leg. I’m sorry.”

“Do they take exchanges?” you asked. “My grandmother has a watch I could trade for it.”

He nodded slowly, “It might work. I would definitely try it.”

“I will. Thank you.”

-

Jaemin picked up a vial of medicine and sniffed it. “What’s this?”

Jeno, the castle healer and Jaemin’s long-time friend, answered from the other side of the shop. “It’s for indigestion.”

“Hm,” Jaemin commented. He waited for his friend to turn away before he tipped the vial back and drank it’s contents.

“Jaemin, I swear—” Jeno looked at the empty vial and then the guilty grin adorning the prince’s face. “You can’t try a new medicine every time you come in here. You’re lowering my stocks.”

“It’s all natural remedies,” Jaemin said. “I’m not hurting anything. Besides, I might have indigestion.”

Jeno stopped at stared at his friend, “Jaemin, what is indigestion?”

The prince averted his eyes to the side. “Okay, well I don’t have to know what it is to suffer from it, do I?”

The bell hanging above the front door rang, signaling the arrival of a customer. Jeno excused himself and went behind the curtain, where the front of office was located. “Hello! How can I help you?”

Jaemin stayed in the back, doing what he was supposed to be doing in the first place: avoiding his fiancée and helping Jeno label his remedies.

“Hi. My village’s healer said you had a cure for me? He said he talked to you about it.”

Jaemin stopped his actions, feeling a nostalgic memory hit him instantly.

Y/n. That was your voice. It had to be.

Jaemin bit his lip as he tried to concentrate on the unnamed label in front of him. Still, he couldn’t seem to think of anything, save you and what you were doing at the castle healer’s.

Were you hurt? Was your grandfather hurt? Jaemin wasn’t sure he could face either possibility.

Stealthily, he crept towards the curtain and peaked it open ever so slightly, so that he could catch a glimpse of you.

He felt his heartbeat quicken and his thoughts go to mush as he saw you. It had been so long, and yet he hadn’t forgotten your youthful smile. It was the same even now, yet Jaemin could see a smudge of worry behind your upturned lips.

Your skin was darker, perhaps from the sun. Your hair was much shorter, and Jaemin thought that the way your messy strands ended at you shoulder looked cool and attractive. You seemed older, more mature than before, but as was he.

Jaemin felt like bursting through the curtain to give you the biggest hug. Unfortunately, he still lacked courage, and that kept him rooted in his place.

“Ah, you’re Y/n,” Jeno’s voice returned. “I’ve kept the cure safe in my pocket all day. Have you got your money?”

“Actually,” your voice shook, “can I trade something for it? I have a watch…”

Jeno accepted the watch and turned it over, this way and that.

Jaemin studied your anxious face, and he wished Jeno would just let you take the remedy free of charge.

“I can’t accept this,” Jeno said. “It isn’t real gold, so it’s worth isn’t much.”

“Oh.” You looked down, disheartened. Then, your expression grew hopeful.

Jaemin followed your gaze to your hands, where he saw on your third finger a ruby ring. It was the same promise ring he had given you just two years prior. An oath made so that the two of you would never forget each other. Jaemin’s heart lifted. Did you still think about him, too?

“I have this ring,” you said, struggling to pull it off of your finger. “It’s a real ruby.”

Jeno took the ring from your hold and nodded. “That’s perfect. Are you sure you want to give it up?”

“I’m sure,” you answered quietly. “It’s not very important.”

If a heart was made of glass, Jaemin’s would be in pieces right now. Servants would be scrambling to sweep up the shards as they fell onto the cold, hard floor.

Wasn’t important? Jaemin understood completely why you had to sell the ring, but why did you have to say it wasn’t important?

Did that mean he wasn’t important? Did you not remember him? Or worse, you did remember, you just simply didn’t care.

Jaemin retreated from the curtain and went back to his labels. Now his work was quicker, albeit quiet and solemn.

When Jeno returned, he looked at Jaemin carefully, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Is indigestion a broken heart?” Jaemin asked his healer friend. “Because I think I have it.”

Jeno stood still for a moment. “Actually, it’s gas, but I suppose a broken heart probably feels the same.”

-

Your finger felt empty. Throughout the next month, you were constantly aware of the ring’s absence.

Still, it was worth it, since your grandfather was returning to health rather quickly. By now, he could even visit the forge for a few hours each day.

The wedding was approaching quickly, and there were only three weeks to prepare. The queen had ordered that special rings be forged for the couple. According to Mark, Jaemin had spent weeks trying to convince his mom to let your grandfather forge his rings. Apparently he was still Jaemin’s number one influencer.

Your grandfather spend as many hours as he could, molding and forging rings only to realize he wished for a different design and start all over.

“It doesn’t feel right,” he would always say to you. “Of all the things Jaemin has told me, I have no idea why he would go through with this marriage.”

You shrugged in the middle of shoveling more coals into the fire. “Perhaps he likes her.”

“Yeah, right,” your grandfather snorted. “Remember last week, when Jaemin invited me for tea?”

You bit your lip. Jaemin had somehow found out about your grandfather’s recovery, so to celebrate he asked him to come for tea with his fiancée. Your grandfather was never allowed in the castle, however, because Jaemin’s fiancée wouldn’t let him come in. She said he was too dirty, with his fingertips blackened and his shirt carrying the sweat of a hardworking old man.

You heard from Mark that when Jaemin found out, he was furious, and even tried to visit the forge and apologize. You also heard that he was stopped, once again, by his controlling fiancée.

Still, these accounts were coming from two people who wanted you and Jaemin together. For all you knew, they could be lying, and she could be the nicest person you’ve never had the chance of meeting.

Until today.

Your grandfather had just gone back to the house to clean up and sleep for the night, but you stayed up, busy carving flower designs into some recently discarded rings.

“Hello!” someone shouted.

“We’re closed!” you replied, not looking up from your work. “Please come back tomorrow morning!”

You turned to see a woman coming in anyway, a familiar object in her hand. “Actually,” she spoke with a sort of haughtiness about her. “I’m the future princess so I think I can come in.”

“No,” you replied respectfully. “I have to get to sleep soon. Please come back in the morning, Your-Future-Highness.”

You bowed slightly, signaling her to leave the forge. Instead of respectfully leaving, she came closer. “My husband’s sword needs to be fixed. He said this part was getting old and he wants a new handle.”

“Hilt,” you corrected, feeling peeved at the fact that she called Jaemin her husband. They weren’t married yet.

“Whatever. Just have it polished and ready by our wedding day. I don’t want to see those ugly marks on it, alright?” With this, she dropped a sack of gold onto the stool behind you.

“Okay,” you agreed, not really connecting the pieces quite yet.

Then, as soon as she left and you glimpsed down at the sword, it became clear. It was Jaemin’s sword that he had made when he lived here. The hilt was the same, carved with his initials and yours. More things had been carved through the past years, like a small rose in the corner, and something similar to a heart.

Your memory stirred as you looked at the sword. Your heart was both elated and discouraged.

Did Jaemin really wish to erase this part of his life?

You set the sword aside, not having the strength to do it that night.

-

“Hey, where were you last night?” Jaemin asked the next morning on his way to the practice field. He had some free time that he wanted to spend with Mark, who had been teaching him the latest knight techniques.

His fiancée usually visited him every night to complain about something or other, and although Jaemin couldn’t say he missed it, it did make him curious as to why she hadn’t visited him the night before.

“I took your sword to that forge you always talk about and asked the person there to fix the handle.”

“Hilt,” he corrected.

Gwen rolled her eyes, “They said that same thing and it’s quite annoying. I swear I’m going to get wrinkles from all the stress you cause me. Anyway, I thought you would appreciate having those horrid marks removed from the handle. It would make it prettier on our wedding day.”

“WHAT?” Jaemin shouted, “You asked her to remove them?! Those marks are my memories! They’re the best memories I have! Why would you do something like that without asking me?”

Gwen shrugged, “I didn’t think it matter. Now I see it does. Sorry.”

Her apology didn’t sound the least bit sincere, and it took every fiber of Jaemin’s being to keep from saying something he shouldn’t have. Instead, he used his anger to fuel him as he ran down to your village in the hopes of getting his sword back, completely intact.

-

You bit your thumb nail and stared at the sword as if it were going to move. How could you restructure a hilt when the past one had so many memories? Why would you want to?

Your grandfather was still in bed, since it was the early crack of dawn. The only reason you were up was because you couldn’t sleep, and the past night was filled with tossing and turning and thinking about the prince.

You needed to stop. It had been two years. He hadn’t come back. You hadn’t gone to visit. It was time to forget Jaemin once and for all.

You picked up the sword, ready to completely redo the hilt, until a loud banging on the door caught your attention.

“Wait!” the outside voice called, “Let me in!”

You hurried to open the door, wondering who could be so distraught at such an early hour. Your breath caught in your throat as you beheld the prince, in the flesh, standing in front of you.

Jaemin was flustered, leaning with his palms against his knees as he inhaled long intakes of breath. “My sword,” he wheezed. “Don’t ruin it.”

“Jaemin…” the sword dropped to the ground as you stared at him. He was taller, yet just as you remembered him before with that same mischievous glint in his eyes.

When he finally caught his breath and straightened up, you engulfed him in a tight hug.

“Woah!” he laughed before wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the ground momentarily. “I thought I wasn’t important.”

Although his voice was teasing, his eyes held a certain fear in them that you couldn’t place. You let go of his neck, allowing your hands to slid towards his chest as you looked into his eyes. “Who told you that?”

“You did!” he said, his grip on your waist slacking only slightly. “When you gave the ring to Jeno.”

You slapped the prince’s chest, “Of course it was unimportant at the time! I needed medicine. I never said you weren’t important, though. Why would you think that?”

“I’ve been a horrible friend,” Jaemin replied quickly, “I haven’t visisted you in two years. Even when your grandmother died, I did nothing. I could’ve visited you or sent some money or anything but I didn’t.”

You gave him a soft smile. Everything felt better suddenly, and you wondered how you and Jaemin could return to easy conversation after having not seen each other for two years. It felt as if it had only been a few days, and the wait was worth it. “I know you’ve been busy,” you comforted him. “You’ve got a lot of stuff to do at the castle.”

Jaemin sighed and pulled you close to him again, burying his head into the crook of your neck. “What do I do?” he mumbled, tickling your sensitive skin. “I don’t want to marry her.”

“Why not?” you asked sardonically. “She’s an absolute peach.”

Jaemin laughed against your neck, and you felt goosebumps hearing your favorite sound for the first time since he left. “Isn’t she?”

“Come in,” you said, letting go of him and leading him away from the forge. “Grandfather will be awake soon and I know he’d want to see you.”

The two of you walked towards the cottage, shoulders bumping occasionally.

“We should go on another adventure while I’m here,” Jaemin said. “Maybe we could go back to the cave and I can see those fish again?”

He hadn’t changed at all, and you felt comforted by that fact. For there you were, more quiet and subdued after all that had happened. After you had to take the title as head of the house. You wondered if that bothered Jaemin: him coming back to a different you.

“I’ll take you to the cave after breakfast,” you assured him, smiling when he pumped his fist victoriously.

Inside of the cottage, Jaemin entered the kitchen before you could close the door behind you.

“It’s the same!” he cheered. “Nothing has changed!”

You leaned against the doorway of the kitchen and chuckled at his childlike excitement. “Grandfather thought changing it would be an insult to Grandmother’s memory.”

Jaemin suddenly frowned. “I should’ve visited her.”

“She wouldn’t have wanted you to,” you spoke honestly. “She didn’t want the prince to see her in such a state. She wanted you to see her when she was still beautiful.”

Jaemin smiled bitterly, “She was always beautiful.”

You walked forward and hugged him from the back, pressing your forehead in between his shoulder blades. “Don’t think about it too much, Jaemin.”

“Alright,” he whispered, placing his hands over yours.

“Now let’s make breakfast before Grandfather wakes up,” you said, hoping to lighten the mood.

-

“My babies! I’ve come home!” Jaemin said, dropping his bag and dramatically running over to the dark lake.

You dropped your bag as well. The two of you decided it would be fun to go camping inside of the cave, mostly because Jaemin had a scary story he insisted could only be told during the witching hour. Apparently, no one in the castle had wanted to hear it, so you were his last hope.

Jaemin dipped his hand into the water, giggling to himself as the fish swam by and tickled his skin.

You found yourself staring at him, and your mind felt like a puddle of goo as you thought about how great he was. How much you wished he wasn’t getting married, so that to two of you could have adventures like this forever.

He made you feel young again: youthful and free to do nothing but play around with the hidden wonders of the world. You were quite sure you loved the boy.

Jaemin looked up at you, and your heart stopped for a moment as you wondered if you had spoke your thoughts aloud. “Y/n, come see them!”

Sighing in relief that your secret hadn’t been found out, you happily went to sit beside Jaemin and watch his precious fish swim around.

“I really like them,” Jaemin spoke into the silence of the cave. “Watching them swim around makes me feel like I did two years ago, when everything was okay.”

“Tell me about it,” you mumbled.

Jaemin smiled at you, “We sound like old adults.”

“I know,” you replied, “It’s tragic.”

Jaemin elbowed you lightly, “You’re tragic. I’m awesome.”

“Shut up.”

Jaemin leaned forward and placed his hand in the water again, and you caught the long white scare lining his palm. “It scarred.”

“What? Oh, yeah.” Jaemin pulled out his hand and held it towards you, palm facing upwards. “I was a bit careless back then, wasn’t I?”

“Like you aren’t now,” you countered. You traced the scar carefully with your finger.

Jaemin suddenly grabbed your hands, “They’re rougher than they used to be.”

You squirmed at his words, “Sorry they aren’t dainty enough for you.”

“No!” Jaemin said suddenly. “I was just observing. There’s nothing wrong with rough hands. It means you’ve worked hard.” Then he pulled your hand to his mouth and kissed your knuckles. “Y/n?”

“W-What?” you stuttered, feeling warm under his gaze.

“Can we hold hands like we used to?”

“I don’t think we ever held hands, Jaemin,” you replied quickly. In fact, you knew it. You and Jaemin hadn’t done anything of that sort when he came to live with you. Except maybe all those times he clung to you when he was bored. That didn’t count though, did it?

“Yeah, we did,” he argued. “When you helped me feed the rabbit.”

“That’s hardly hand holding.” You laughed at him. “You were afraid and I helped you feed the rabbit. We weren’t holding hands.”

Jaemin rolled his eyes dramatically, “Can I just hold your hand? Whether we did it in the past or not?”

“What about your fiancée?” you asked nervously.

Jaemin linked your fingers with his own and smiled at the finished product. “I don’t want to get married to her, so I won’t.”

“How are you gonna get out of it?”

“I have no idea.”

-

Jaemin looked at you with the scariest glare he could muster as he held a lit torch under his chin. In reality, he looked like a constipated dragon.

You tried to contain your giggles as Jaemin continued his story, “So she was never seen again and no one remembered her. The only one who did was that lone fisherman, who could still hear her cries throughout the dock.”

You slapped your hand over your mouth, yet you couldn’t stop the laughter from spilling out of your mouth. “That wasn’t scary at all!”

Jaemin pouted from above the flame, “Really? I worked hard on that one.”

“How hard did you work on it?” you giggled, falling onto your back as you couldn’t stop laughing.

Jaemin frowned and crawled over to you, peering down at your face. “I spent a whole three weeks coming up with that story.”

You smiled up at Jaemin from your spot on the floor, “You’re a dork.”

Jaemin returned your smile and plopped down, rolling over to lay beside you on the ground. “You love me.”

You stayed quiet. Then, perhaps because it was dark and you couldn’t see his face in case he rejected you, you answered, “Yeah. I do.”

Hesitantly, you turned your head to the side to see Jaemin already looking at you in the low light. His smile had grown, and he was quiet as he stared at you. “Really?”

“I mean of course,” you shrugged. “It’s not like we don’t love each other, right?”

Jaemin’s smile fell and he looked up at the cave ceiling. “If…” He exhaled softly and closed his eyes before continuing, “If I can’t get this engagement to end, please don’t think I don’t love you back. Please don’t think you haven’t been the first thing on my mind since I left. Please know that I love you so much and I would love nothing more than to go on a different adventure with you every day, even if that adventure was just delivering swords for your grandfather. If I can’t get this to end, please don’t think my feelings for you aren’t real.”

“I won’t. I promise,” you whispered, reaching for Jaemin’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

-

It was the night before the wedding. You knew, because the entire village was covered in flowers and festive wreaths for the prince. Funnily enough, none of them mentioned the future princess.

You felt numb the whole night, pondering what it would feel like when the newsboys would run down the road and announce that the prince was officially married. Your heart felt heavy as you continued with your chores.

Your grandfather left to go to the wedding, having to deliver the rings and wishing to visit Jaemin beforehand. He pushed you to come along with him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go. There was no way you could see him again, knowing he would be married the next day. There was no way you could watch Jaemin vow to love someone else for the rest of his life. There was no way you could watch the mischievous light in his eyes fade to misery at the distant future. There was no way you could watch him kiss someone else.

Instead, you stayed home and continued your work before washing up and heading to bed.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t sleep, so you wrapped a large blanket around your shoulders and climbed up to the roof.

It was silent, as the majority of your village had turned in for the night. Only the distant sounds of neighbors still up, chatting in low voices, could be heard.

You could see the castle from your perch, and you wondered if Jaemin was there now, sleeping the night away before his wedding. The night before his entire life would change, and yours with it.

You couldn’t hold it against him. It was his duty to get married to someone before he took over as a king. Still, it pulled on your heartstrings that he was marrying someone he didn’t love, and someone who didn’t love him in return. Sure, you were going to be lonely with out him, but he was going to live the rest of his life with someone he didn’t love. That had to be the worst fate of all.

You shivered at the cold wind and pulled your blanket closer to your body.

“I found you again!”

You jumped at the voice and turned around to see Jaemin climbing up to the roof, a cheeky grin on his face. “What are you doing?” you hissed. “Your wedding is tomorrow.”

Jaemin shook his head, “Only if she says yes.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused, until Jaemin threw a familiar velvet box at you. You caught it and opened it to reveal the ring you had recently traded. The ring you loved. The ring that symbolized your promise to never forget Jaemin.

“If you agree, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We can have our own adventures every day, and your grandfather can even move to the castle so we can be near him. I understand if you don’t want to become a princess, but unfortunately that’s the only life I can offer you.” Jaemin looked at you with pleading eyes, “Please say you’ll marry me.”

You pulled the ring out of the box and pushed it onto your finger. “Jaemin, what about your fiancée?”

“She was just as happy to end it as I was. Mother said I should’ve told her sooner that I was already in love with someone. She said I proved my sincerity to her, and any girl who helped me do that was deserving of the princess title.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment. “It wasn’t all me. You’ve always been sincere in your feelings.”

“Maybe,” Jaemin agreed, “but you help me express them. Now please answer my question.”

“Oh,” you grinned. “Of course I’ll marry you. I thought that was obvious.”

“Yay!” Jaemin tackled you in a hug, constricting you as you were still cocooned in your blanket. “We’re going to literally be best friends forever.”

You giggled, “I can’t wait.”

~the end~

[lostlegendaerie]

Using the Unusual; Metaphors and Similes in Creative Writing

while i was getting my bachelor’s in fiction writing, one of the most useful classes i ever took was a poetry class taught by a woman named Mary Leader because she really taught me to examine my prose. poetry, at least in her class, was an excellent way to fully capture the visuals, sounds, and setting of a particular moment in time, which is a skill (i believe) that prose writers can use as well.

but today I’m gonna focus on my particular favorite thing in writing, which is the Unexpected Metaphor or Simile.  (long post, and some really personal takes/analytical perspectives, but i hope this helps some people who want to get more creative with their analogies!)

The Anchor

A good metaphor or simile is one that is based on a single, clear idea. 

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief ” 

The above passage from Romeo and Juliet is an excellent example of this; Juliet is the sun, and the rest of the metaphor revolves (or orbits) around her, and the rest of the passage has that kind of space/heavenly body theme. Having a clear idea or a clear theme is an excellent starting point for good metaphors or similes, and it can be anything. It can even (and often should) build upon itself, such as the more modern example in the song One Week by Barenaked Ladies. 

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve I have a history of taking off my shirt

Here, the theme is that the narrator is inappropriately chipper or open at times, which each line building on the abstract idea of the other (even down to the last two lines being about wearing clothes, and I really hope that I’m the first person you’ve ever seen compare BNL to Shakespeare but damn it’s so good.)

Below, I’m going to try to logic this whole thing out in a way that makes sense and makes it easy for you to train your mind how to do this really cool thing as well.

How to Branch Out; A Step By Step Method

we have hundreds and hundreds of well-worn phrases like “as dark as night” “as cold as ice” and etc, and they’re popular bc they’re approachable. most people have seen a dark night or felt the temperature of ice, so it’s immediately understandable. but lets try to take one of these a step further.

1) The Second Thought

so, say you’re trying to trying to describe something that’s cold in temperature; don’t go for Ice, the obvious choice, or snow. Think about something else you’ve felt in your life that’s been cold. Maybe a operating table, or the glass in a window on a November morning. Sometimes the second (or third) thought it the best thought, and using a more selective experience can paint a more vivid picture. “as cold as an operating table” has a definite menacing, uneasy, vulnerable feel to it whereas “as cold as a windowpane in November” could have a feeling of more curiosity or domesticity to it.

2) The Alternate Definition

if you look up ‘cold’ in the dictionary, it will likely list both the definition of something physically lacking heat, or something morally devoid of ‘warmth’ or compassion. let’s once again return to the idea that you’re describing something that is physically cold; consider describing it as morally or emotionally cold instead. “as cold as murder” is one that carries a lot of threat and menace to it (and is probably a little heavy-handed) but you should get the idea.

3) The Dual Purpose

using both of the methods described above together can really give your simile or metaphor some weight. let’s say we have a chill winter day and we want to add a sense of foreboding, darkness or unease; “as cold as an executioner’s blade” works on two different levels for this goal. the first is playing off the Second Thought - ice is cold, yes, but so is metal and steel. the second aspect is drawing from the Alternate Definition, where cold means detached from compassion, and someone tasked with the ritualistic killing of another person is exactly that.

Keeping Your Momentum; Layering and Compounding Similes and Metaphors

when you want to really capitalize on one specific idea or image, such as “cold = death” it’s important for all of your metaphors, similes and even imagery to reflect that idea in some way or another. now, this doesn’t mean restating the same thing over and over again; it means building on a basic idea. 

let’s say you are describing a snowy evening where the protagonist is facing something they dread at the end of their route. reflecting their hesitation, their reluctance, and their sense of morbidity is important to set the tone of the piece. 

1) Sympathetic Setting

a good way to really make someone feel the weight or emotion in a piece is to have the setting mirror the emotions of the moment. classic examples of this is rain at a funeral, a sunset for a climax of a movie, etc, but nearly any setting can be influenced to fit your tone depending on how its framed in the narration. say that the protag in the above example is seeing other people around town go about their business; instead of just having people around them walking, maybe have them “shuffle uncertainly over the ice” to reflect the protag’s reluctance and fear. they are projecting their feelings on their surroundings, and having those sentiments returned.

2) Contrasting Setting

another good way to emphasize an emotion is to have the setting contrast the mood, or pit the world against the protag. kisses in the rain are a common example (a heated, joyful moment in a cold, wet, usually despair-inducing setting). to pull on the above example, the other people in the city could be described as “gliding in their heavy coats like low-flying crows” to contrast them to the protag (either as carefree like flying birds or as funeral omens). 

3) Layering and Repetition

If you’re wanting to really linger on one specific moment or idea, remixing your metaphor or simile and repeating it can be an excellent way of doing so. but with all of these, it’s important to keep in mind your anchoring idea. continuing with our current chilly despairing example, lets have the protagonist looking at the ground. “Above her head, the melting icicles pockmarked the snow below, like a hundred ghoulish faces all clustered beneath the overhang, crying out in pain.”

the first part, the ‘pockmarked snow’ is meant to describe dark holes in white snow. the ‘ghoulish faces’ is a reference to how skulls and ghosts are often stylized as black holes or spots in white, and now that we’ve established a connections between the snow and faces, we can build on this idea by having them cry. if we skipped the middle section, the image doesn’t make as much sense (which in poetry can sometimes be a good thing, because it’s that much more unusual)

Breaking It Down; Applying This Process to Pre-existing Work

i’m a huge sucker for a band called Dry the River. (not a coincidence that words intended to be spoken or sung have such a sense of compacted beauty and meaning to them, IMHO.) so lets analyze this piece below from their song History Book.

Beneath an angry Bible flood, Did you and I first learn to love. In my father's car we came to know. And shivered in our painted clothes and paired like every animal below.

So the first line is pretty clear to anyone familiar with classic Bible stories; the Flood here references Noah, so we can assume that it’s pouring down rain. The next two lines illustrate that these two characters are virgins and teenagers (his father’s car, not his own) and the next line not only tells us their clothes were wet (clinging to their skin as though they were painted on) and that they’re having sex (paired like every animal) but it also has an excellent callback to this kind of religious imagery (every animal below, as though told from God’s perspective.)

That’s probably a little too dense to craft a long narrative out of, but using these ideas to craft specific moments for dramatic tension can really do wonders for your story!

In Conclusion

To TL;DR you can take something as far as you want to go, so long as you start off with a very solid A = B comparison. And that can be something classic like cold = death or something more unusual, and you can even mix ideas (to a degree) as well! Well worn metaphors and cliches are a great starting point, but don’t be afraid to take it one (or more) steps further!

[jungee]

Missing Out Pt. 3

A/n: Tagging @wang-banana for the last and final part bc she requested for this :))) Pairing: Jimin x reader

Summary: This was the last time you and Jimin would meet up to repair as much you both could

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1465

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

“We can’t keep doing this.”

The words left your lips easily but they had meaning to them and Jimin couldn’t help but feel his stomach drop. He did this to himself and he knew it. What he couldn’t help but do was see you one last time to see if you’d forgive him. Although, the conversation had started this way, he would try to reconcile. Yes, he cheated with Yoongi and after all those times he went behind your back all he could do was feel guilt and remorse. He knew he didn’t deserve you and yet he still went to see you to see if you would forgive him.

When it came down to Yoongi, Jimin had thought that he loved the man but he was only confused because of the loneliness that dipped into his heart. Yoongi was there to fill his needs of despair when you couldn’t give him the time. That was an excuse and Jimin knew it. The night where Jimin had given you an untimely and unexpected visit was a ride that the both of you didn’t think you’d experience. The words you had blurted out earlier left Jimin in a stir. His heart beating fast, hands becoming sweaty as his tongue was tied with words he could barely make out all because he was nervous.

"I know… I’m sorry,” he hesitated as he drew in more air as if it’d help him stop feeling the trepidation that began to grow inside of him. “I just can’t stop thinking about you.”

Now it was your turn to have the words swirl in your head. Brows furrowed with seriousness as you opened your mouth to say a few things back only to have no voice come out. You were speechless not because of what he said but because you also thought about him a few times as well. You still had a soft spot for Jimin but there was no way in hell you’d tell him that. It would just give false hope that there was still a way to fix the relationship but you knew that it was irreparable. Your heart was shattered into millions and there was no way he’d be able to pick up all the pieces.

"Do you ever think of me?” He questioned with full seriousness as he looked into your eyes waiting for an answer.

You shuffled in your seat to show the uncomfortableness you were feeling but you knew that he wouldn’t stop with the questions until you answered them with full honesty. A sigh left your lips as your eyes averted to the dashboard and then back onto Jimin. His head tilted with curiosity as he waited for your reply. Licking your lips from the dryness you had felt as you began to give him the answer he wanted hear, “All the time.”

There were no words that could describe how Jimin felt. It was a mixture of many things and he couldn’t help but describe the sensation as different. Yes, he did feel happy that you still thought about him at times but at the same time he felt lost.

"But,” you interjected and he began to feel his heart drop. “We’ve been down this road before. Two years and all, we know where it leads.”

He knew what you were talking about but couldn’t accept the fact that it was time to move on. You were already on the point to go into the next stage of life whereas he wasn’t. It’s been a few weeks maybe even a month since the last time you had seen Jimin and it was when he wasn’t at his best. To have him actually meet up and talk about all the things that went wrong was something that never popped in your head. But you also didn’t want things to end the way they did.

"Jimin,” you called out his name as he replied with a small yes. “There was a time before me, there will be a time after me.” You tried to convince him that he had to move on. This was a stage in life everyone goes through. It wasn’t just about breaking up but also about making mends so that the two of you wouldn’t hate and misunderstand each other for the mistakes you’ve both done.

"You’re so strong, I don’t know how you do it.” He truly didn’t know how you could keep up such a strong front. If he were you, he’d be in tears. But your willfulness was what had made him fall for you and he couldn’t help but remember those times before everything had turned into chaos.

"Others have taught me how. Maybe it’s my turn to teach you. So, tell me,” you said as you held his hand into yours, intertwining fingers to help him find some sort of comfort.

"Tell you what?” He inquired.

You shrugged your shoulders, “Anything. Everything.”

"I was at the club not too long ago,” He admitted.

"So, who was she?” You asked as if you already knew his situation. “Tell me about her.”

He was hesitant toward your reaction wondering if he should even talk about this mysterious girl he had his eyes on earlier. “It was as if our seats were intentional. Like we were supposed have the perfect line of sight to steal glances at each other. And her eyes, they reminded me of— ugh, nevermind. I shouldn’t even be telling you this,” he went on about her and when he was about to say something about her that had reminded himself of you, he stopped. It didn’t feel right to talk about another girl in front of you even though you insisted on listening to him. You gave his hand a conscious squeeze to let him know that it was okay to chat about this unknown girl. “Her eyes were beautiful! They reminded me of yours.”

And this was where you gave out a satirical chuckle, “How ironic. You hated the way I used them. Remember? You said I had a negative view of the world.”

"I loved your enthusiasm.” He confessed.

"But, you hated my stubbornness,” you added.

"Your passions…” Jimin included as he was about to talk about all the things he loved about you.

"My sarcasm.” You continued to state all the reasons why the both of you weren’t together anymore. “And don’t forget all the reasons why we broke up and why I won’t answer your texts and calls.”

Jimin gave out a sigh as he let go of his hold from your hand and faced you, “I wish we never ended the way we did.” He truly wished that things weren’t how they were now and he regrets all the things he’s done that ruined the relationship but now he can learn from his mistakes and won’t let it happen again. He’s better than that and he knows it because you believe that he can do better as well. “I just wanted you to know—”

"I know, Jimin.” You interrupted his blabbering. You know he means well but it was time for a change and you couldn’t go back to him. “We’re in the stage where we’re learning about who we want as our partner. I was part of that process and you were a part of mine. You don’t have to feel guilty anymore.”

He could feel tears threaten to leave his eyes. “I could be better if I had another chance,” he tried to refute in hopes that you would give him another chance.

You shook your head in reply, “I’ve given you one before and that only proved me wrong. I know you mean well but you can be better for someone new. Don’t waste all the pain we’ve already endured and trying to mend the past. Use this experience to learn and grow for the future, even if I’m not part of it.”

"Y/n,” he said your name in desperate need. He wanted you to still be in a part of his life but you obviously had different views from him. His eyes looking into yours as the silence between the two of you was deafening. He could feel the seriousness that had flown through the air. If you were able to let go then he could too.

You inched your head closer to his as your lips were just centimeters away and when he closed his eyes was when he felt the warmth of yours lock onto his. Just a few pecks more and you retracted from the touch.

"Goodbye, Jimin.”

"Bye, y/n.”

The moment you left was the moment he brought his fingers up to graze his lips. The kiss tasted bittersweet, just like the memories you had left him with.

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 4x22: “Lucifer Rising”

Beginning like we always do, with “Carry On Wayward Son”.

St. Mary’s Convent. Ilchester, Maryland. 1972.

So this is Azazel...

I feel so bad for these nuns who have no idea what’s going on, and they are terrified.

RIP nuns. That is so awful.

Hello, Sam.

Now Sam can see Dean’s side.

G o d, this breaks my heart.

It’s so sad that even if there were an “after” (which there wouldn’t have been if everything went 100% according to plan) Sam still would have distanced himself from Dean, because he thought he’d never be forgiven and it would’ve been the “best” for Dean. (He could not be any more wrong.)

Sam and Dean appearing on screen the same way.

Hello, Dean.

“I’m not calling him.”

“Don’t make me get my gun, boy.”

I love Bobby.

I believe Bobby’s gonna go on his outburst soon.

:(

Dean losing the will to save Sam.

Let the outburst begin:

“You sound like a whiny brat. No, you sound like your dad. Well, let me tell you something. Your dad was a coward.”

“My dad was a lot of things, Bobby, but a coward?”

“He’d rather push Sam away than reach out to him. Well, that don’t strike me as brave. You are a better man than your daddy ever was. So you do us both a favor. Don’t be him.”

IIIII FUCKING LOOOOVVVEEE BOBBY SINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And here we go. Dean’s in the Green Room

Hello, Cas!

(Who looks like he doesn’t want to be there...)

HOW DID NO ONE NOTICE THIS NURSE taking the baby to somewhere besides where it was supposed to be???

Dean’s favorite food and beer.

“The suite life of Zach and Cas.” lmao, Dean.

(Those paintings are beautiful.)

“We want you...focused, relaxed.”

“Well, I’m about to be pissed and leaving, so start talking Chuckles.” (That’s a great line! How come i never noticed that before?)

Cas is just internally screaming at this point. Hell, he’s been internally screaming non-stop since “the Rapture”.

Sammy, our new hot shot interrogator.

I am still so UPSET that Sam never got to hear the REAL voicemail. Fucking Zachariah was behind it, I’m sure. (After episode thought: apparently, Eric Kripke refused to reveal if it was Zachariah OR RUBY WHO MANIPULATED THE VOICEMAIL??? Holy shit, that would explain the smirk she gives when Sam finally listens to it, r i g h t before they enter the Convent. It did seem like convenient timing...)

“Hey, it’s me. Uh...Look, I’ll get right to it. I’m still pissed...and I owe you a serious beatdown, but I shouldn’t have said what I said. You know, I’m not Dad. We’re brothers. You know, we’re family. And uh, no matter how bad it gets, that doesn’t change. Sammy, I’m sorry.” 

(Should’ve done that earlierrrrr.)

The one thing I got in common with Lilith’s head chef is that we both think Ruby’s a bitch.

“Can’t trust anyone these days.” Especially yoouuuuu.

Well damn. That is such a dirty card to play.

Poor Sam. I bet nothing scared him more/allowed him to see how extremely fucked up the whole situation was than that moment.

Back to 1972.

Lucifer possessing a nun. Nothing creeps me out more.

The very origin of...everything.

Nice “surprised” reaction, Ruby.

My stomach is in an actual knots knowing that they drained an innocent woman of her blood just because Sam needed all of it to defeat Lilith.

(Also, why couldn’t Sam just overrule Ruby and kill the demon anyway, forcing her to find another one? God, Sam, you’re in it so deep.)

Dean, you child.

The fucking intensity between Dean and Cas...

It’s kinda...striking how Ruby seemed to almost slip into the role of Dean sometimes, with the ill-timed jokes she’s been making. And Sam’s responses to her remind me of how it used to be between them in S3 when he flat out hated her and resented needing her help, as opposed to when he began to trust her and earnestly defended her against everyone. He snaps at her, and is done with her. Hell, what did Sam even plan to do with Ruby once they “stopped” Lilith?

“I’m starting to think...maybe Dean was right.” HE IISSSS SAM. 

(And Ruby is internally screaming at the fact that she’s ALMOST THERE and the one person she needs to accomplish this has one foot out the door.)

I can’t wait for Dean to kill Zachariah.

Half the truth tumbles out. They’re going to allow Lilith to break the final seal.

That shot of Zachariah is so freaking cool.

G O D I love how the lighting changes as the (half) truth comes out. From the beautiful, glowing light to “fluorescent lighting in your old high school that makes you look like you aged 20 years.” It’s ugly, just like the (half) truth being revealed.

Even the paintings change!

(So at this point, was the Apocalypse AU about to go to shit?)

“Sam...has a part to play. A very important part. He may need a little nudging in the right direction, but I’ll make sure he plays it.” FUCK YOU, YOU BALDING BITCH.

“pertinent details” my ASS.

“You’re going to stop Lucifer.” One of the few times Zachariah is right, whether I like it or not.

“One day we’ll look back on this and laugh.” ...I guess now we can.

“God? God has left the building.” There’s such an emptiness in Zachariah's eyes when he says that. 

Completely irrelevant, but Lilith’s dress is really pretty.

This is one of my all time favorite Dean/Cas scenes, and one of the most important scenes in the entire series, you can fight me about it.

“He’s gonna do it to himself.” Cas is unfortunately correct

“We’ve been through much together, you and I, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry it ended like this.”

lmao, RIP Dean’s hand.

“What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You’ll be at peace. Even with Sam.” god Cassss.

The way Dean gets Cas to look at him. Fuck me up.

(x)

OOOHHH THAT GRAB.

Cas fighting his internal battle.

“If there is anything worth dying for...this is it.”

DEAN PLS, HE JUST DOESN’T WANT TO END UP THE NEXT LUCIFER BC HE’S BEEN TOLD ALL HIS LIFE THAT THINKING INDEPENDENTLY IS BAD AND LEADS TO FALLING WHICH IS THE WORST THING AN ANGEL CAN DO 

P L E A S E.

OH GOD NOOOO, NOT THE MANIPULATED VOICE MAIL.

“Listen to me, you blood sucking freak. Dad always said I’d either have to save you or kill you. Well, I”m giving you fair warning. I’m done trying to save you. You’re a monster Sam, a vampire. You’re not you anymore. And there’s no going back.”

So Ruby heard that?? Because she’s smirking like she did, and she’s damn pleased with that final little strand finally being cut.

RIP Cindy the nurse.

OOHHH MY OTHER FAVORITE DEAN/CAS SCENE IN THE EPISODE/OF THE SERIES.

Dean almost committed a Persephone move there.

Oh shit wait, CAS had the knife??? I thought Dean would’ve picked it up after the fight with Sam...unless he did, and when the angels took him to the Green Room, they took the knife from him...but why not take the phone? Fuck, I’m overthinking.

THAT SILENT CONVERSATION THOOOOOO. 

THAT SLIGHT TOUCH WHEN CAS GIVES DEAN THE KNIFE BAACCCKK

“Lilith is the final seal. She dies, the end begins.” THE FULL TRUTH COMES OUT, THANK YOU CAS.

Hello, Chuck.

“This isn’t supposed to happen.” DEAN AND CAS TEARING UP THE SCRIPT PART 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO, BITCHES

RIP those demons.

THEM HEART EYES.

(x)

Lmao, I love how Chuck is more annoyed at the archangels coming than scared.

“It’s the Archangel! I’ll hold him off, I’ll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!” Cas’ final words. #1

I don’t care what canon says, Cas is Chuck’s favorite angel.

Cas couldn’t have zapped Dean directly in the room???

Dean HAD TO STOP to give Ruby the stink eye?????

I know what’s about to happen, and I’m still hoping that it’s not going to happen like it’s my first time watching.

Sam goes to scary af killer to lost, confused little boy once he hears Dean.

“You turned yourself into a freak. A monster. And now you’re not gonna bite? I’m sorry, but that is honestly adorable.” Lilith’s last words. Making sure Sam broke the final seal.

Sam let’s his emotions get the best of him, an unfortunate conclusion.

RIP Lilith.

“And it is written that the first demon shall be the last seal.”

G O D that moment when Sam realizes what he just did. It’s so despairing.

“You don’t even know how hard this was! All those demons our for my head. No one knew. I was the best of those sons of bitches! The most loyal! Not even Alastair knew! Only Lilith! Yeah, I’m sure you’re a little angry right now, but I mean, come on, Sam! Even you have to admit, I’m- I’m awesome!”

I fucking hate Ruby with all that I have...but she is one of the best antagonists this show ever had. She kept quiet about her plans the entire time and waited until they were complete to brag about it in one of the best villain speeches I’ve ever heard. She is awesome, in her own twisted fucked up way, and for that...I kinda love her.

Well damn it, Sam.

AND SHE’S STILL CALLING HIM SAMMY.

Ruby earnestly fell in love with Sam. Like, I’m sure she was already planning their future together, where Sam is possessed by Lucifer and she got to be his right hand...woman. Demon. But she like, LOVED him in a disgusting toxic way, stroking his face and assuring him that he was gonna be ok. I think she was seconds away from telling him that they’d be “happy together.”

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, at least when Cas was lying to Dean about how everything was going to be okay, even if the Apocalypse was going to be allowed, he told Dean that it’d be him and Sam. Ruby completely cuts off Dean from her little “it’s going to be alright” speech.

Dean finally breaks in. 

“You’re too late.” Ruby’s final words.

She is completely  feeling herself in this moment, confidently strolling up to Dean like that. Was she going to kill him? Did she not see her own knife in his hands?

I love everything about how Ruby dies: the fact that Sam, who is desperate to do at least one thing right, grabs her to make sure she doesn’t escape. The look of confusion on Ruby’s face, because she genuinely can’t believe that Sam is doing this to her, after everything they’ve done together. And while she’s trying to get a hold on the situation, Dean not only stabs her WITH HER OWN KNIFE but also TWISTS IT. I believe there is a moment where Ruby seems to realize that she is dying and Dean Winchester is the one who kills her, while her “lover” is holding her down, and she’s worked so hard to free Lucifer...and she won’t even be around to claim her prize. It’s so wonderful; I can’t really think of a way to make it better.

RIP Ruby. Ding dong, the bitch is dead.

Y’know, when I did my SPN Rewatch last year, I made note of all the time Cas and Ruby paralleled each other (because I considered them to be different sides to the same coin) and one parallel I’m noticing just now is that both of them achieved something they’ve been working hard at (Ruby: freeing Lucifer, Cas: telling Dean the truth/getting Dean to Sam) and they both died as soon as it was achieved.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sammy, let’s go.”

“Dean...he’s coming.”

SUCH A PHENOMENAL ENDING. I remember screaming “NOOOOO” at the laptop, then immediately hitting “Play next episode” when I first saw this. 

This is still one of the best season finales of the entire show. Top 3, for sure.