#bc i started it like 3 months ago
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based balls
(don’t mess with elbertson heavily inspired by an Otis Shepard design ✌︎('ω')✌︎)
#hi the second one is half assed and moustacheless#bc i started it like 3 months ago#the sketch at least. i just didnt wanna add the stache im a hater#also otis shepards designs for the cubs programs UGHHHH so good i highly recommend u look at em#jerma985#jerma#jerma fanart#tree art
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in which aziraphale reverts to old habits, crowley is outraged, and they still do not talk about it
#good omens#ineffable husbands#I need you guys to know I started this a month ago but couldn’t work on it bc of classes#and as soon as the quarter ended I inked colored and added an additional page in the span of like 5 days LMAO#aziraphale#crowley#also Crowley has only been made aware of real communication tm bc of nina and Maggie#I firmly believe aziraphale will not learn the art of saying what you mean until well into season 3#yay miscommunication#comic#2023 art
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[ID: a digital illustration of Luz and Hunter from the owl house. Luz sits on the right with her hand on hunter's shoulder. Hunter sits on the left facing Luz. They're both in their designs from the end of Thanks to Them. Hunter has his eyes closed and is crying with a pained expression, while Luz looks on with tears in her eyes. The background is dark and the scene is dimly lit. The second image is a variation on the first image where a spectral version of flapjack sits on hunter's shoulder and Manny's hand in on Luz's shoulder. End ID]
Felt like posting something devious today. Do you think they'll ever talk about what they've lost? Bond over it? Mourn??? Grieve????
#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#luz noceda#hunter noceda#flapjack toh#(BARELY i did not put the effort into that bird that i should've)#manny noceda#(also barely but I feel like it's more obvious here)#i sketched this out months ago when TTT first aired but the lines were giving me trouble and i shelved it#until now when i really just wanted to finish something but wasn't happy with any of my sketches#it was inspired by the interview dana did where she said grief would be a major theme of season 3#both bc it scared me and also bc it made me start thinking ''hm okay. which characters are grieving rn and how might they interact?''#my money's still on darius if hunter does get to talk through some of his grief in the next few eps#(just to tie a nice bow on their relationship and maybe dicuss the previous gg a bit more and flesh darius' motives out)#but like. luz is his sister. grief is sooo central to her arc as well it's like. even if they don't get time in canon#(which is understandable. they do not have a lot of time rn for extended fanfic-esque character exploration conversations)#but that doesn't mean i can't rotate the idea in my mind at terminal velocity until i get sick#i would apologize for not posting festive art at this time of year rn BUT YKNOW WHAT. I'VE HAD A ROUGH COUPLE OF HOLIDAY SEASONS#THIS COUNTS AS FESTIVE FOR ME!#it's getting better this year though. slowly#anyway this piece isn't perfect and there's a few bits I'm not happy w/ that i could've spent more time on#but to my own credit i pushed myself to use reference and do a (albeit simple) pose I don't normally do!#so props to me in that sense#anyway happy holidays! think abt these devastatingly sad children with me please!
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i just think @literatureisdying needs like an award or smth for never accidentally unfollowing me despite the fact that i am almost always sitting in their biggest fans list
#just dandy thoughts#incredible remarkable awe-inducing mutuals <3#atlas <3#no but seriously how#bc you’ve been following me for like what??? 6 months??? and your finger has never misclicked??? seems fake#omg flashback to me freaking out abt unfollowing you accidentally like a day after i started following you#september kinda seems like a fever dream tbh#bc half of the shit that happened seems like yesterday and half could’ve been a year ago#time is funny#woah i got sidetracked
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my mom found this super detailed online test that helps you find careers that you'd probably like according to your answers (ofc we know that it's just a test and it doesn't mean you have to study what they give you, but i just can't find anything that i like and i'm running out of time, so we were like, why not yk) so, i took the test and after 30 minutes of answering questions you know what i got? biotechnology. the same career that i chose last year and the one i dropped out of in january.
idk if i want to laugh or cry tbh
#i mean it gives you more than one option but this was the one with more compatibility#and the other ones are also a big no for me so...#god idk what to do with my life#and atp i can't help but start thinking (again): did i drop out bc i didn't like the career or bc my mental health is SO bad#i think it's a combination of the the two bc yeah i probably would've enjoyed the few months i did at least a bit more if i wasn't depresse#but i REALLY didn't like it#tho then again i don't know what changed bc it WAS what i wanted and then i got there and i went NOPE almost immediately#and like i know your opinions can change and that is good that i dropped out if i realized that's not my thing#but i can't help but wonder if it is really not my thing or is my brain just not letting me enjoy the things i like?#bc every option i've been looking at to start next year is like... No#i can't find anything i think i might enjoy at least a little bit#i found this university that i gives you the possibility of doing the classes and exams online and everything#and that would be to study 'translation and interpretation' with english & french (& spanish ofc)#and since i'm already bilingual in english & i've a certificate in french (not bilingual but is smth) i would be able to skip some subjects#which is good i guess and i like languages but it's also like the opposite of what i've been doing my whole life bc i studied science in hs#and then again idk if i'll like it or not#and i know i won't know if i like it or not until i try it out and everyone is like 'well if it's not your thing then you drop out again'#which i mean is true i Can but god i don't want to go through all this again i need at least a bit of certainity or i'm gonna go insane#also i've been searching for so long w/o findinf anything that my parents are already saying#'well if you don't want to study you'll have to look for a job'#and if the thought of studying a carreer is already scary#if i have to look for a job rn (there are not many options here if you don't have a degree)......#the thought itself makes me sick :/#i just don't know what to do and i'm so fucking tired i just want to curl up in bed and not do anything for at least 2 months#(am i having another existential crisis after that panic attack 3 days ago or did the existential crisis not stop since january?)#(probably sooner)#(i guess we'll never know........)#venting#maca speaks
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this is getting ridiculous there's so much stuff i wanna draw i need to clone myself immediately
#what do you mean i can barely stand up??? no that was me an hour ago im completely fine now and also am capable of drawing 70 things rn#<- I WISH#genuinely just talking at myself here#okay!! plan time: homework is 7 pages +dialogue. i sketched the rough layouts out already and i my teacher gave me the okay to do it digita#i don't think she realized she gave me the okay tbh? but i asked her twice and she said yes so no takebacksies!!!#i have a timer that only does 55 minutes. in 55 minutes can i rough out at least 3 better pencils? ill find out!#i should start with the ending because that's 1 birds eye view like three times and a car that explodes and a bunch of close ups so ez pz#i just gotta figure out one car perspective im giving myself 55 minutes for the car#lineart is gonna be a pain but when isnt it :')#hey did you know there's an entire ship month prompt list??? im seething that's such a dumb idea i wanna do it so baaaaad#whatever#ill figure it out#that's part one of getting boring shit i need to do done!! part two should be easier bc its just hospitals and the draft is already p detai#ok ok ok i can do this#the essay is an essay and the essay is getting fucked i will do it at GUNPOINT#aaaaa#shut up maiora#p.s. edit: i did some of it and ended up doing a completely different plan. sigh sigh oh well im doing my best
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Hope it doesn't come off insensitive but its rlly comforting to me to see im not alone in being unable to start transition and feeling a lotta feelings about it. Shits really hard and its harder when ur alone yk... heres to hoping maybe its in the future i guess?
Yaaa the immediate tear starter that is "in 5 years i still wont be on T" has only gotten more devastating with every year that has passed since I was 11. Its hawrd! I dont know if I'll ever have it, hoping its in the near future of someone else though
#anonymous#skunk mail#nothing had me more in shambles than those ''did anyone else realize they were trans and then start transitioning 3 months later during#the pandemic lockdowns lol'' people like. i would have given anything.#id've given anything years ago id give anything nowww#except not apparently bc im lazy and i cant move my ass enough to find a career that will let me move out and do it.#recent events has me wondering if being a failure is an inescapable part of my dna.#i know being a cute boy isnt the point but i really wanted a few years of being a cute boy before i aged further.#i wont get to though
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im a lesbian nancy wheeler & les4les ronance truther
#ronance#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#robin x nancy#nancy x robin#robin and nancy#nancy and robin#stranger things#incorrect ronance#incorrect stranger things#incorrect ronance tweets#incorrect ronance quotes#incorrect stranger things quotes#ronance social media#// ronance are les4les bc i said so and im projecting#// as a lesbian myself who's also in a les4les relationship#// and has big comfort attachment on them#// so ronance are les4les and argue with a wall <3#// also i was scared to say i hc nancy as a lesbian couple months ago bc i didnt wanna get attacked dkjfskdjfskdjfsl#// then i saw edits & other ppl starting to hc her as a lesbian and im like am i safe?#// can i come out now (heh) with it???
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HAIIII DANDY I LOVE SEEING UR ART ON MY DASH SO MUCH UR ART STYLE IS SO COOL AND UR SHIP WITH GUZMA IS ADORABLE WAAA
SOBS THANK YOU NICK WAUHHHH this is so kind ( ╥ω╥ )♡ i really appreciate it WAUGH !!!
also you caught me at a good time :3 I had my sketchbook out when u sent this and was just trying to figure out what to draw, and I remembered you saying how u wish u had more pics of Aiden so ,,, I did a lil doodling of ur guys (۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶—̳͟͞͞♡
here's an Aiden and a Kylar for you !!! i hope these are okay !!! ^^;;
i appreciate u sm and u are always a delight to see on the dash !!
#hopefully this is a nice lil surprise for u in the morning !!!#ALSO I PUT KYLAR IN HIS BATTLE JACKET BC THAT WAS SO COOL TO SEE A FEW MONTHS AGO#AND THEN I REALIZED IDK WHAT THE FRONT LOOKS LIKE SO I JUST SCRATCHED SOME VAGUE PATCHES ON THERE SBDJSKSL HOPEFULLY ITS OKAY LOL#AWAUUHHH i hope i did alright w these fbdkl i get nervous abt drawing other ppls OCs and other beloveds sbdjskl#but i want to start doing it for ppl so here was the perfect timing and opportunity to do so >:3#ANYWAYS NICK UR SO COOL UR GUYS ARE SO COOL I LOVE UR ART SM !!! YELLS AND FLAILS !!!#asked and answered#dandy.cmd#doodlebug.png#I DUNNO WHAT TO TAG THIS ALL WITH FHDKDL#others self ships#hmmm yes I think that works ! I'll fix it in the morning if i decide to tag it differently djdksl
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getting better at drawing when you’re not trying for realism is kinda funny bc it’s like wow now my art looks even MORE like the exact midpoint between old-school disney and late 2010s anime. i didn’t think it was possible and yet i’ve done it again. inspiring
#and soon? even More.#there’s also the additional layer of not being able to explain what about my art is better than it used to be#like idk what to tell u it’s just better now. all my old stuff is crap compared to this. leaps and bounds#source: dude trust me#tbh i think my artistic abilities probably seem much more consistent from an outside pov#bc i never want to draw anything i can’t draw#like if i TRIED to draw that cuteguy stoplight drawing a few months ago it would have looked terrible#but i wouldn’t have tried bc i wouldn’t have wanted to bc i couldn’t you see#that’s the thing about art it never feels any easier#if you start out frustrated by your skill falling short of your vision guess what#your vision will continue to improve as you gain skill and that frustration never goes away#but it also never feels any harder#my first experience with drawing was being pleasantly surprised to find my skill slightly exceeded my aspirations#(i was 3 and my aspirations were draw a duck)#and you know what. to this day the pleasant surprise remains#what i’m saying is dream small stay in your comfort zone and do not strive for great things#cannot recommend complacency enough#this isn’t sports you don’t get gains through effort you get gains and then the effort happens on accident#don’t listen to me i probably don’t know what i’m talking about#but i AM having more fun drawing than you so maybe i’m onto something#impossible to say#i’m certainly not smart enough to figure that out i’m an idiot have you seen the kind of advice i give#mumbling
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to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?
#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened#i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close#and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way#i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao#now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest#and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell#i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop#but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again#i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier#it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men#and i find myself unable to connect with anyone…#i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed#i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it#i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly.#i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad#i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so#i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized…#when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was#like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u#i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function.#plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized#how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone…#i went thru all that for nothing…#and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why#brain vomit
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nia and i mashed our brains together on this one to bring you ava gardner + tnba/dcau ivy
#i started this like 3 months ago 😔#this pain this has caused me…#i’m just ready to be done with it <3#i tried to do a mix of hairstyles bc a.) the curls are so fun to draw and b.) the structure of the cartoony tnba hairstyle is confusing lol#most of the references for this are from the killers (1946) btw#i wish i had more interesting notes about it but i really don’t have much to say#dc#poison ivy#pamela isley#my art
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i need 2 stop drawing static stuff . white bg . front facing pose. <will do it again
#i looked thru my media tab 2day .horrific#WHERES THA PURPOSEEEE E#there doesnt have 2 be any . of coursies .#but thats smt i want to work on rly hard T_T 2024!!!!!!!!!#smth smth reflection but i am happy with what ive done in 2023#definitely havent finished as many things as id hoped but thats okay.kind of touched on it w that one trgn comp a few months ago#but i tried 2 be more confident in areas i wasnt so sure abt before and it paid off in a way that im happy with T__T❤️#like despite all my gloom & burnout and artblock . i had a lot of fun . and im rly fortunate that ive been able to meet the nicest ppl#through it T__T#idk what jm talking abt anymore but j think . i am happy w the direction im headed in and i just need to work harder now on variability#and concept and composition. not rly sure where to start but i think compiling some of my favs in a single place#and studying them will help. :3.. AND NOT GIVING UP A SKETCH IF ITS FRUSTRATING ATM😭😭😭😭#some of them ..that one w meryl and vash . i ould not for the life of me figure out and i was like soo done w it#but then i was likeno OK just do it who cares . and then i found a workflow that worked and it WAS SOO MUCH FUNNN AND I STILL RLY LOVE HOW#IT TURNED OUTTT ..#and the one w knives . the beautiful universe one . i rmbr being so annoyed by a similar attempt that inwas lkke fuck it im just gna use the#biggest brush ever and play arnd with stuff bc its not gna see the light of day and fhen j agonized abt sharing it and everyone WAS SOOO#NICE TO ME !!&2&2 LIKEEE it was one of my earliest trgn pieces so kind of new 2 da scene and lkke . idk man it helped me enjoy my art from#an outside perspective after struggling w the doubt and its now one of my favorites ever too …#ORRR .. the vash and wolfwood one w the silly blue sky bg .. the textures were so mindless and fun#or the elendira . SOOO MANY FUN ELENDIRAS.. the perspective nail gun one is still a fav bc i shy away from perspective bc its hard as shit#but it worked out and i luv it tew .#sory anyways . very happy. and thankful^__^ ik when j post stuff like URRG MY ART!!!it mostly jst comes from .like GAAH want 2 push myself#harder bc i know itll be fun once i get 2 where im going T_T#anyways if u got 2 this point u r lkterally angel my angelll~ hamtaro pic#tys
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I have to be so honest and vulnerable with you for a second. I keep thinking of getting another complete works of Shakespeare
#tales from diana#my riverside 1973 is still my beloved baby but she's really worse for the wear these days#i didn't start thinking about it till i got one for my friend like 6 months ago for his bday#and i kept looking at it and being like oh wow. his doesn't have all the scratches and rips mine does#mine is still BETTER obviously bc it's MINE. it's in worse condition objectively but it's MINE#making it the best copy in existence. to me#and it was my aunt's textbook at boston college. my grandmother let me have it. i think of it as a family heirloom#and the coating on the front cover side of the spine has been slowly tearing off :(#like there's one long vulnerable rip almost all the way down. idk how to prevent it from breaking further#other than just by not using it. and idk how to fix it wo making it potentially worse#i didn't know how to take care of old gigantic books when i got it at 19. i never considered it#i hadn't had one before. but now im more experienced#and im also just curious about what's inside other editions. especially newer ones#i only have 6 plays and at least 3 of them i plan to read in a copy other than the riverside#like my 23 plays and sonnets (1953) edited by t. m. parrot has 2 and another play im gonna borrow from library lending#and id definitely wanna get rid of a lottttt of books i have right now before getting a new one#im already planning on which books to donate when i declutter#and i need to declutter my books DESPERATELY. so so desperately#it'd just be nice to have another complete works in my collection. for a number of reasons.#that way i also suppose ill have two big books of shakespeare for auntie diana to pass down someday#i don't plan on getting one soon im just in the contemplative phase. but boy am i tempted
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OH dungeon meshi has less than a 100 chapters???
#im going to get through reading it SO fast once i start. which will be Soon bc theres only 2 hours of my downtime to do things#ok i know it took me 3 months to read berserk up to 138 and im not planning on continuing it soon (i will eventually) but thats bc i needed#several several week long breaks from reading it#its so good but also. certain parts are just straight up bad. and its v heavy reading#anyways enough about that#ill probably catch up on it in like a month if i read it semi-actively?#bc when i reread a certain old manga some years ago i got to ch 300 rlly quick but i was actively reading it multiple times a day#leevi talks
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that was thee biggest disappointment i’ve had in a minute :/ it’s okay though i guess it wasnt for me
#i rlly do think what annoys me was just the shitty communication like i interviewed for that a month ago they literally said the position#would start mid to late april it’s literally mid to late april rn and they’re only just not sending me a rejection letter#and this is after i’d sent both a thank you email the day after i interviewed (in MARCH btw)#and a follow up email on tuesday bc that was my exact 3 week mark#like ugh idk that’s what rlly gets me abt this not so much the rejection itself#got me all anxious n shit
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