#bc ive literal been trying and failing my whole fucking life

[change-the-rules]

welp looks like after a decade of resistance and trying to do his own thing my sisters bf has decided to follow his family's footsteps and join the nypd

.........

so I guess I really do need to fix my stupid mental fucking health to fully support myself+ bc she wants kids and like fuck am I going to leave my future nibblings without a place to escape which now torpedoes my life fallback plan of live in sister's basement half my life problems stem from being raised by a fucking nypd cop

[moonybemine]

WHO WANNA BE BESTIES‼️ i need someone to giggle over hp with. you HAVE to be a jkr hater tho bc i hate terfs and am agender(im just vibin tho all gendered terms i use by vibe alone)

MINORS DNI

i have some Opinions on a lot of things about hp and i have some fluctuating emotions on certain characters. i genuinely treat every hp character like barbies that i play with and put into Shenanigans and Situations.

i will reading bashing fics especially albus ones i hate the things he did but i on occasion have been known to enjoy a good albus fic including ones where he's less "we have to kill voldy!!" and more "you (platonically or romantically)Love someone, dont you Tom?" like that spongebob meme. i do not like sirius or remus bashing, it's always overly harsh and vilifies a man locked away in the harshest prison who's mental faculties have been horribly abused, and while The Prank was an incredibly stupid attempt of a prank due to the danger it put severus in and also remus i ultimately believe it would've never happened in the first place if albus and minerva properly chastised the marauders earlier for their treatment of snape. we also don't know when this happened in the timeline of the marauders, was it before or after snape and lily's falling out. in remus' case he's a man who's been treated as a monster his whole life who was allowed into hogwarts by albus who then used this BOY'S gratitude to make him go into enemy territory and spy on and try to recruit people to the other side of the war. not to mention that albus groomed them all to fight the boy he FAILED(ive got so many opinions on tom and albus) and then when remus who support network was either dead or imprisoned he was told he couldn't raise harry and was told to not contact him. albus did all he fucking could to make harry miserable and pliable so that he'd sacrifice himself to end a war like a pig to slaughter. ur telling me Great Albus Dumbledore defeater of grindelwald couldnt find a solution to the horcrux besides having him walk to his death not to mention that he could've probably figured out horcruxes decades earlier and tried collecting them and probably would've succeeded! also i hate that the whole marauders generation is completely wiped out jkr u nasty bitch!

my ultimate fav ships are nottpott and wolfstar. ive BEEN a wolfstar lover since i was literally a child. nottpott entered my life last year and proceeded to ruin me on drarry(and pretty much every other ship involving harry and someone else or theo and someone else) i used to hate dramione bc i was apart of a toxic forum back in the day but i have grown to enjoy it bc it usually goes hand in hand with nottpott. i am forever a fremione and a pansmione gurlie tho. i love a lot of marauders ships as well jegulus/jily/jegulily/wolfstar/marylily/dorlene/pandalily/rosekiller/etc

i will mention i have dipped my toe into tomarry. i have enjoyed quite a few fics with this pairing and while i have enjoyed mostly ones where they are both teens, i do not like or support ones where its oldie voldie and literal child harry. its a grey area with somethings with them because of a multitude of factors and it shifts from a fic to fic basis. im not one to judge overly harsh over liking ships but i will judge in cases of straight up pedophilia but it will mostly result in a block because im not a child that starts fights on the internet anymore. i also do not support bestiality or incest and i'm specifying these things in particular due to a intimate relationship with the harry potter ao3 tag i know what freaks and weirdos exist there. literally the only fuckin fandom thats got a UNIQUE BESTIALITY tag

anyways msg me if ur interested <3

[effervescentdragon]

Re your interviewers not even sure what to ask anymore ask, that’s me but with the fandom lol. I’m literally this close to just starting to translate all of Toto’s German interviews just to feel like there is Any reason for me to still be here doing Stuff in this fandom, like what am I doing, exactly? Make predictable guesses as to who’s gonna win, only get surprised by DNFs and engine failures and battling in the mid-field, have my grandpa tell me ‘the races have really been going downhill’ and log off??

i posted sth about jude bellinghams dick game on insta on main yday and og bff asked me what im compensating for w footie posting and should he be worried abt my mental state and i said f1, because im just not incentivised to watch it anymore at the moment? im hoping it changes when races stop being so early - i am sad i missed nico's commentary the most tbh. i guess fandoms come and go and things get more and less interesting but the thing for me is - if im not enjoying it, i won't make myself watch/read/do it just because i've made it my Thing. i can have many Things. we all can. i think, when something doesn't bring joy, its good to step back. give yourself time. f1 will be there. 🫂

i also think there is this insidious thing that you have to be "productive" in a fandom, that you have to do, be doing something to justify your presence in it. i know i've felt off because im not churning out 10 ficlets a day anymore, but the fact is - you don't have to DO anything to BE in the fandom (this feels like some metaphor for life but i only took one sip of coffee today so far). fandom is about enjoyment, yohr enjoyment and sharing that enjoyment with people who also love a certain piece of media or whatever. this capitalist bullshit of treating a fandom space like it's a job (what am i contributing? have i met my quota of posting about my blorbo today? how many followers do i have?) like... who the fuck cares. i still count myself into the silm fandom and i havent posted about it in ages. doctor who, star trek, hell, fucking x men and cap america and hannibal and so many things. i am still a fan of so many things that bring me enjoyment. thats why im a fan in a fandom.

i guess what i'm teying to say is that its really hard sometimes, when you lose interest or get disheartened by someting thats brought you joy before. when you feel like you're "failing" at liking something. but i try to remember - im a person, i have interests, interests change. a thing i loved isnt that anymore. okay. not okay, but it's fine. you may find joy again, you may surorise yourself, or you may just drift to something else. you're no less you, and no less a fan, if your intensity isn't the same now as it was yesterday or a decade ago. and with f1... its changing so much that its honestly pretty understandable to feel that way. bff stopped watching during the seb era, came back when it looked like seb might win w ferrari, then skipped the whole lewis era. og bff skipped merc domination era completely. my cousins husband stopped watching the moment alonso won. ive had friends stop watching the moment max won. it happens.

what im saying, too fucking long and winded bcs apparently im in a mood today - dont force yourself into something that doesnt bring you joy. theres so much joy to be found in this world deapite everything, and you're no less you for losing an interest in a fandom.

[khodorkovskaya]

my most autistic moment yet (church drama) embarrassing storytime

27.08.23

so okay. i sing in the church choir right. i explained a bit like on how i started here. but basically after easter i came up to the choir director and asked if i could join. and she said "yes, welcome to our choir!". and thats how it all began.

the thing is i didn't grow up religious religious. i feel super out of place at church, idk what to do or how to act. so this whole time ive just been trying to pick up on social queues and do my best to not stick out like a sore thumb. so every time everyone does the cross thing, i do the cross thing, when people bow, i bow, when everyone gets on their knees, so do i. and it all feels pretty awkward i have to say. idk what the fuck im doing or why.

another thing is, im neurodivergent as fuck. i never feel like i belong anywhere. almost every social interaction feels like some kind of test that im failing at. i always feel like the person left out in a group. like my whole life ive just got used to the feeling of being an outsider. it feels like there are these rules everyone follows that i had not been informed of. everyone knows what to do and how to act. and all i do is imitate.

so in this sense church didn't feel too different. people look at me weird, i don''t feel included and everyone's following rules im oblivious too. seems like literally any other social setting, right?

and you may be wondering, why i decided to go to church in the first place if im not religious. well, singing there makes me euphoric and it really scratches an itch idk how to exlain it. the sensory stimulation part of the whole church thing like incense and the hymns that we sing and the aesthetics of it all, like it's very satisfying to me.

but back to the people there. so everyone there is always on edge. people are always shoving and pushing each other. and im always excluded. whenever music sheets are distributed im always skipped, so i often have to look over the shoulder of someone there to see what to sing. but often people dont even want to share with me. and everyone is in their little groups. theyre always whispering to each other and never talk to me. and no one says hello to me either.

so me with my little neurodivergent brain like i didn't think much of it at all. because, like i said, i never feel included anyway. im always the odd one out, like i have chronic imposter syndrome everywhere i go. and plus, i hope i don't get cancelled for racism, but i thought that everyone was mean and cold because they're russian... 💀 like forgive me pls, but like i just thought russians were unfriendly bc like eastern european resting bitch face stereotype. and i didn't want to impose myself and smile and wave if it's not a part of people's culture, right?

so anyway. ive been going to church literally every single sunday after easter without fail. ive been literally the most consistent person there, i show up every time. a lot of people only come like maybe every two weeks. and they don't stay until the end either. or they show up late. but im always there!

so yeah today i was there as usual. and the choir director comes up to me and says "you can't sing with us". and i was like what. and she was like "if you don't come to rehearsals and never show up you can't sing with us". and i was like shit, there are rehearsals??? and she looked at me like "yeahh 🙄 are you not in the groupchat?". THERE WAS A GROUPCHAT ALL THIS TIME????????

LIKE THAT'S WHY I WAS NEVER HANDED THE MUSIC SHEETS AND THAT'S WHY NOBODY SPOKE TO ME. LIKEEE

I WAS NOT OFFICIALLY PART OF THE CHOIR THIS WHOLE TIME AND DIDN'T NOTICE IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭

like it makes sense now. they all have an official groupchat and they all know each other and they have rehearsals and they sing multiple times a week for like other church events.

so yeah.... i literally was an outsider and imposter this whole time... and my neurodivergent ass didn't realise

but okay, conclusion to the story, it gets kinda worse actually.

so the choir director added me to the groupchat. but it's on telegram. and i only use telegram with my close friends. everything else that's like normal/professional i use whatsapp. so on whatsapp i have a normal profile picture and everything. meanwhile on telegram my profile picture is this...

it says "christ has risen" in the corner.

like

when she added me to the groupchat and i realised... i wanted to kms.

like imagine this like super religious woman. going through her contacts. checking if she has the right phone number. clicking on my profile picture to make sure. and seeing. this.

fucking christ has risen akjssjkdhkhd i want to die

i think my church choir phase is officially over.

[onlyjaeyun]

hi my love!! i haven’t spoken in almost a week but i’ve been busy w uni + work + assignments 😭😭 but i have been keeping up w your page and ive been loving every update (and the timely updates w the written chaps!!)

hope you’re doing okay!! you staying up two night even when you’re tired and have stuff to do is so .. inspirational to be honest i truly love your dedication but i also want you to know it’s completely fine to step back and take breaks!! just want a happy and healthy zadie <3

ALSO RAW?? LIKE SUNGHOON HAS RHE PRIVILEGE NOW?? OH MY GODDDD i can’t wait to read the whole chapter tonight

i love u zadie baby, sleep well tonight <3

- 🍇

(also i find it so interesting that you can speak german and i live for it even tho i can’t understand.. LOL like we learn smth new everyday)

hello my sweetest angel 🥺 im so glad you found time to check in, and am sorry life's been so busy for you, hoping you'll get some rest soon and pls make sure to take care of yourself!!! youre trying your best and youre doing fucking amazing, im so proud of you!🥺💗

thank you so, so much for your kind words urgh you guys will never fail to make me go 💗🩷💕🩷💗 bc of how sweet and genuine you are 🥺💗

im glad you enjoyed the last chap and hope you'll enjoy the future ones too, sending you the biggest kiss rn 🥺💗🫧

(bdkdndld thank you baby!!!! german's literally part of my personality atp so im super excited to know you find it interesting 🥺💗)

[bluemoonperegrine]

Wolf Be Upon Yeet: Part IV

The origin of this series' title is revealed FINALLY.

For anyone who's unfamiliar with this insanity, @vicarious-rebel and I chatted via DM about the Werewolf By Night and Moon Knight crews in her headcanon which includes Elsa’s pet eldritch horror Stony, which had been the Bloodstone but is now literally a monster. Here are part I, part II, and part III. See the very end of this post for links to Stonyverse fics.

On with the show, which gets positively absurd!

Vi’s text is black. bluemoonperegrine’s text is blue. When I can't remember who wrote what, the text is purple.

We previously established that Jack's favorite snack is salmon paste, which is literally pureed salmon. Healthy and delicious! 😂

I can see Marc just trying to cook salmon for himself and werewolf Jack is prowling nearby. He has to constantly shoo him away or distract him while trying not to overcook/burn the food.

Marc grills salmon when he thinks Jack is off running errands or something. Then suddenly, hungry werewolf.

Marc: dammit throws 1/3 of the steak at the wolf, who catches it in midair and swallows it whole

Jack comes back from grocery shopping and immediately smells salmon, sides up to Marc and does the puppy eyes thing Marc: Jack, no Jack: pls? Marc: no Jack: (puppy eyes intensifies) Marc: fuck… fine!

omg, Jack workin' those green puppy dog eyes. Resistance is futile.

He'd bat his lashes. Totally.

His eyes are his greatest weapon and he knows it. Closely followed by his smile.

What if Steven is immune to Jack's puppy eyes bc he himself has puppy eyes energy?

They have puppy-dog-eye-offs IDK who wins really

Now I'm imagining Marc going to great lengths to keep his salmon to himself. After checking Jack's schedule, he checks weather conditions. Takes the grill downwind from the manor.

Doesn't matter. Jack will sniff out the salmon.

Jack can be a formidable persistence hunter when it comes to his fave treats

It's a tie obviously, they both puppy eyes

Jack: "I can do this all day" puppy dog eyes

God help anyone who gets puppy eyes treatment from both of them at once. Insta kill

I can imagine Layla or Elsa "deploying" them both. "Boys, go get 'em."

Have you seen the clip from Mozart in the Jungle where they riff on Gael's eyes? Never fails to crack me up. Rodrigo is such a drama queen.

"WhY aRe YoU sO dRaMaTiC???" he says and falls to the ground sobbing dramatically. Self-awareness: -100

I'm working on my Stony fic now. Doing my damnedest to not let it turn into something… long. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LONG, DAMMIT. channeling Rodrigo: "Why why WHY does everything have to be LOOOOONG?"

because the characters are greedy YES it's their fault 😂

Jack is just an enthusiastic cook and wants to feed all his friends. Prime mom friend behaviour.

Yep, and providing for his pack. He's psyched to learn new dishes because he's 237 years old and hadn't been to Ethiopia before.

He has a long list of dishes he can make and he just wants to make it Longer

He's the kind of cook who can just whip stuff up based on what's on hand. If he's totally new to something he'll look at recipes. After that he's just throwing stuff in a pot and it all works out 99% of the time.Jack is intuitive AF in my mind

It's def heightened by his werewolf senses but even without them he's still pretty good at guessing things/reading people

I think he and Jake have that in common bc Jake has certainly had to learn how to gauge people but maybe he's much more suspicious than Jack.

Jake assumes the worst in people. Jack doesn't. He's not naive, but gives people a chance.

Jack wants to give people the benefit of the doubt, whereas Jake is in full-blown Protective mode all the time

Yes. That was Jake's job for most of the system's life

Jake is the mother hen whether he likes it or not. He'll never admit it.

Jack, on the other hand, is pretty open about being a mom friend. He's spent so much time alone that he looooves having a pack to take care of and be with

Jake: fuck all of y'all (one of them bumps their toe or something) Jake: (internally screaming, cue the kill bill sirens)

Jack and found family ❤️

Can you imagine the mother-henning from Jack if one of the MK/WBN crew got sick? Like the flu? omg In my headcanon Jack never gets sick, but still has allergies that make him sneeze a lot.

If Jack so much as hears someone sneeze or cough One Time, that's it. "here's a blanket, drink this tea, get some rest, eat this soup" it's almost overbearing but he does it out of genuine love and concern so it's not like anyone can hold it against him

After he tucks them into bed, he's in the kitchen making chicken soup from scratch and whatever Mexican equivalents are

Plus Marc is most in need of mother henning in those times bc he's gonna be adamant that he's fine and Jack's just not having it.

He needs it and wants it but hates that and tries to deny himself that. Jack just bulldozes through all of that and takes care of him and Marc secretly is all ❤️

Elsa is similar in my headcanon, but not as extreme

Marc: (through clenched teeth) I'm fine (meanwhile he's had a migraine for three days, his nose is stuffy and he just started coughing) Jack: no, you're not (mother hen mode activated)

I'd say Elsa would be similar but in her case it's out of pride (I'm a Bloodstone, I will not be defeated by a mere cold) Jack: Elsa, please Elsa: oh, fine but only because it's my favourite tea

In my Elsa headcanon it's about needing to be invulnerable, not needing any support. (although she does)

She does strike me as a bit hyperindividualistic

[I'm omitting an emotional scene from one of my fics here.]

Jack doesn't understand some of Elsa's behavior, but accepts it. Sets boundaries as needed. And Elsa is totally baffled by him, but grateful.

Mostly she wants to go beat something up.

Elsa: I don't talk about my feelings, I go beat someone or something up about them

Elsa: AND IT'S WORKED PERFECTLY FOR 40 YEARS THANKYOUVERYMUCH

Jack just pouts and shakes his head, "but it's not healthy" Elsa: grumbles

time passes Elsa: Talk later, okay? I'm gonna work the body bag for a bit. Jack: smiles

Jack accidentally catches Stony's eye and freezes Marc: (sigh) Elsa please get Stony, he's scaring Jack again

Elsa quickly trains Stony to not enter the wing of the manor with the kitchen. It's a total no-go zone so Jack doesn't lose his mind.

Idea for a crack fic: Since Jack freezes when Stony stares at him, the gang figures that's one of his powers. So they go on a mission and try to use it.

It doesn't work. The monsters don't care that Stony is staring. The battle doesn't go very well, but the gang wins in the end.

Jake: You're telling me that ONLY JACK freezes from Stony? It's all in his head???

Jack: retorts in agitated Spanish, including something about people living in glass houses throwing stones

Elsa and Layla have to calm everyone down

Yep, with Jack freezing up every time it's understandable if they think it's an ability and not just the resident werewolf tapping into prey instincts he didn't know he had

Jack: Puta madre! I'M AN APEX PREDATOR!

Everyone else: laughs

Steven: actually, you're TWO apex predators

Jack: Right?!?

Jake: snickers

Marc: you'll be the first apex predator to freeze up out of fear Jack: you watch your mouth Marc: careful or you won't get salmon

Comment on a GREAT wbn fic on AO3: "Jack is such a brave cinnamon roll I just want to hug him ❤️ "

I want that on a bumper sticker.

I'm trying to imagine what they'd binge watch on TV

Universal monster movies and Jack's just riffing on them "that's not accurate" "That's what everyone thinks, but actually…" "Dracula is not that cool, come on! Bela Lugosi is hot tho" "dracula has a mean left hook" "cReAtUrE FrOm ThE bLaCk LaGoOn"

In my MK s2 the gang watched Ancient Aliens on the History Channel and had a ball jeering it. Steven got a little incensed at the inaccurate Egyptian stuff, though. But he got over it quickly

MK/WBN crew watching dracula Marc: oh hey that reminds me (calls up Dracula) You still owe me money, bitch

Steven: WITH INTEREST Jack, rubbing his hands: you know, if you want help with him I could chip in

Jack, under his breath: I hate that guy it's personal for him 😂

Marc and Jack hating on Dracula be like You know that whole time travel thing about going back in time to kill hitler? Jack would totally do it to off Dracula

Jack: you can't curse my family if you're Dead

Elsa: practical to an extreme Jack: head-in-the-clouds poet You know, it's kind of like Spike being a vampire. It was genius to make William a soft, sappy poet

it's even better because Jack gets all poetic in life-or-death situations like the whole crypt scene, he talks about family and then he drops the "We could die here" oh so casually

his whole hand-wavy thing describing family being an atmosphere gotta love how he talks with his hands like that

What was it he said? "It's an option. Not my choice, but an option."

WTF, man. 😂

Definitely said like someone who's lived a long, long time

"we could definitely die here but eh, it could be worse I guess"

There are things worse than death. Monsters have seen it 😬

We need a lot more Ted, and definitely them working with MK and Layla!

Jack would so not be phased by Khonshu and Taweret he's be mildly surprised, maybe. Then be impressed by their costumes

another crack fic idea: Jack, having seen way too much in his long life: ok so the thing that gives me hell every month is governed by a mummified pidgeon-headed skeleton, whatever

"cool suit tho"

for reasons, the WBN and MK crew encourage Jack to write poetry. Some of it's good, some not so much. It takes practice.

Jack gets writer's block and gives up.

His friends arrange for Stony to scare the crap out of him. Writer's block goes poof

also "I didn't think the moon would be so petulant"

within a year of Stony hanging around Jack's gray has gone all white 😂

Jack: my salt and pepper hair is losing the pepper

He thought he'd been long-suffering before. Enter Stony 🤣

His friends assure him that he looks great all white. jack still pouts sometimes. Glares at Stony

Jack being all dramatic abt things he's been through and then he sees Stony and goes "I'd still go through it again in place of dealing with That"

In my WIP there's an alternate universe for a little while--I won't get into why--and Jack remembers original him. He soon discovers that alternate him dyes his hair. He's like "Seriously? That's lame" (paraphrasing)

"That's some weak game, me"

fun headcanon time: Elsa once gave Jack a few pairs of her old leather pants bc she couldn't fit in them anymore and to everyone's surprise they fit Jack perfectly

Elsa: I can't squeeze into them anymore but I like them so I don't wanna just throw them away and you're skinny af so here

"Jack, where's my black [something]! You keep stealing it!"

Jack: I'm not skinny. I have a swimmer's physique. (OK, he wouldn't say that. IIRC Niles said that in an ep of Frasier and it was hilarious.)

Elsa: give me back my jacket Jack: no, it's comfy and you can't even close it anyway Elsa: I don't care, it's a fashion statement, now hand it over Marc: Jack, are you wearing Elsa's clothes? Jack: purses lips Jack: it's not what it looks like, I swear Jake: it looks like you're wearing Elsa's jacket and those leather pants are more her style than yours, amigo

Steven: And you both look fantastic in it! 😁

Steven wants to take everyone clothes shopping. Marc and Elsa would rather fight horrible, nasty creatures than do that

Marc and Elsa, the stubborn not-this-mundane-shit duo we didn't know we needed

before long Steven and maybe Jack would be clothes shopping for Elsa. They find really cool stuff actually

Elsa likes it but doesn't want to admit it Layla helps them out bc she and Elsa are the same size and that's how Elsa and Layla end up with lots of matching clothes

It's like an extended cast version of Three's Company (sitcom from around 1980 if you're not familiar), but without the homophobia

Sometimes something just looks So Good on Layla and she likes it so she buys one for herself and one for Elsa

Layla: Jack, I know that's Elsa's because I have the same shirt.

Jack: 👀

Out of convenience and wanting to travel light, the three expect to borrow each other's clothes… too much. So they run out of stuff to wear on a mission.

OK, this is getting really silly now

and to come full circle, Jack rarely steals something of Marc's and that's usually by accident bc Marc gave it to him post full moon shenanigans so he's not naked/cold

Jack would not admit it but he likes Marc's white hoodie the most bc it's very soft

and it smells like his friend

he makes "sweater paws" with it yes the familiar smell is def a comfort

[Omitted because I can't find it 😢 : an image of a small and fluffy white dog whose hair is sticking straight out in all directions due to static electricity.]

Jack after being shrunk by a witch's spell (it'll wear off eventually) and being scared by Stony for the 1000th time

his hair will never be the same again imagine Elsa putting tiny Jack in a terrarium or one of those giant doll-houses

tiny Jack growls ferociously and adorably.

He's an ankle-biter and Kenough ankle-nibbler I'm laughing and crying over here

his tiny jaws aren't even strong enough to leave a lasting mark his struggles are adorable to watch tho

I hated the dollhouse my mom tried to get me into when I was a little girl. She tried her best and had good intentions, but we're very different people. She enjoyed putting together these splintery bits of wood to make tiny furniture, then sand them.

I wanted to get back to putting Barbie's black boots on Chewbacca to make him super tall and beating up Darth Vader and Barbie.

it wouldn't take Jack too long to give up and curl into an adorable ball of sulkiness.

Ted would scoop him up, scold Elsa, and take him away until the spell wore off. He wouldn't let Stony near. he can't have his BFF having a total breakdown. ❤️

oh yeah Ted is definitely not risking Stony getting near tiny Jack

Seriously, I have vivid memories of playing with those OG Star Wars figures.

I lost Luke's lightsaber pretty quickly and was sad. He and his dad had to take turns with dad's.

he could actually get eaten like that

I think at this point Stony wouldn't eat him, but best to play it safe

Stony can still be a lil shit tbh, he'd try it just for sport

omg, tiny Jack with a huge salmon steak bad Stony! Bad! No pukwudgies for you!

Jack just slamming his face in the jar of salmon paste

Marc: I thought it was bad enough when you were regular sized but this is something else

I once volunteered at a ferret rescue.

You haven't lived until you've seen eight baby ferrets with unopened eyes placed around a paper plate with some sort of meat-based soft food. They were fuzzy little worms of nomming eating their way to the center.

Just like tiny Jack would be.

Jack wonders "What did I do to deserve this? And why have things gotten so weird all of the sudden?"

That's what you get for being soft and lovable, my guy and now pocket-sized

Also your ferret mention now got me thinking of Jack tipping over into the jar of salmon paste and just goes "oh well" and starts munching into it Looney Tunes style

Someone later finds the empty jar with a sleepy Jack in it

He's being responsible. Cleaning up after himself until the food coma hits

Elsa tries to make him a purse dog and fails because Jack is a miniature whirling dervish of nails and teeth.

Elsa went from monster hunter to monster gatherer

collect them all! I'd say this is going full circle, but it's mostly spiraling into higher levels of absurdity

How else would we reach "pocket werewolf" territory? I just imagine Jake yeeting pocket werewolf Jack at someone "wolf be upon ye"

He so would! but "wolf be upon ye" (upon yeet?) in Spanish

Tiny jack running in circles around everyone's feet because he wants to go on the mission and help his pack

careful, you'll get squashed

everyone is very careful not to step on tiny wolf jack

Jack: I wanna help Marc: (takes him and puts him in his shirt pocket) there, keep watch Jack: takes his watch duty very seriously (and adorably) just imagine his tiny howl of alarm everyone is momentarily distracted by how cute it is and then they see the danger everyone: Aww!

Someone tries to pick Marc's pockets and get a surprise bite from Jack

The thief yanks his hand back and Marc punches him in the face. Then he holds up still-snarling Jack. "My li'l buddy here's a werewolf, so see ya at the next full moon, pal."

Thief: wets himself

(but it's okay because Jack can't infect others with lycanthropy in my headcanon) The thief doesn't know that tho, so he's freaking out The thief chains himself up for the full moon and is like WTF when nothing happens

but relieved and pissed at Marc and Jack

That sounds like a backstory for a new MK villain It's like MK crossed with Venture Brothers. "I'm gonna find that tiny werewolf if it's the last thing I do!"

Joke's on him, the werewolf is no longer tiny.

The guy's going to monster bars asking about tiny werewolves and getting weird looks. He's thrown out on his ear.

The gang is in there. Maybe Marc is elsewhere at the moment.

-------------------------

Stay tuned for part V next week. There's more Tiny Jack Adventures to come!

Stonyverse short fics

“Of blood and stone” by Vi

 “Something Awful This Way Comes” (ao3 link) by me

"In which the Bloodstone is a little shit" by Vi

"The Only One Left" by Vi (no silliness in this one)

[omegawolverine]

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

[hmslusitania]

I see we're going ape over buddie and Choices tonight so

Yknow in 2.07, when Shannon comes back and her and Eddie have their first scene together? The argument at the end, after Eddie says it wouldn't be a good idea for her to see Christopher bc she left them, she says she needed him, she needed a husband and a co-parent - and "I needed someone to have my back!"

To which EDDIE says, "I always had your back"

*insert Incredibles "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*

(Also side note, I do like that the show doesn't try to sugarcoat what Shannon did being messed up, and that Eddie's own actions weren't really the right thing either[thinking about his conversation with Buck where he says he got to pretend he left for a noble cause even tho he was running], and that it was just a sticky situation that neither of them were equipped to handle in any way, and snowballed. I do kind of wish we could've gotten post-divorce Shannon and Eddie and Christopher interactions, figuring out how they fit together, if at all, bc I like those intricate and messy situations but I could see how that might get too close to retreading old ground re: Michael and Athena's divorce. But I do hate how ive seen the fandom like. Seem to oversimplify things with Shannon sometimes? And make her the ultimate villain, and Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, Ever)

Hi Anon!

The decision to have Buck and Eddie's first bonding moment end with "You can have my back any day" and "or, y'know, you could have mine" only to then six episodes later find out that at least a contributing factor to Eddie's marriage dissolving was that he "didn't have her back" is like. Such a galaxy brain chaos move for them to take, honestly. Like?? They could've had the phrasing be literally anything in 2x07 but instead they had it directly echo Buck and Eddie in 2x01. What was the reason? Why did they do this?

As for the rest of your ask:

(gosh this got long and, uh, opinionated. It is Not Pretty below the cut)

One of the things I really liked about Eddie Begins is that we did get to see him at the beginning of his journey in being Chris's dad because it gives us an opportunity to appreciate how amazingly he's grown as a father. Like, he didn't start out as a perfect dad and he was definitely kind of lost in the woods at the beginning there when it came to the whole "how do I parent" thing. And before Eddie Begins, we'd only ever seen the end result of the growth he's gone through, where he really is a fantastic dad whose son is basically his entire reason for being. Before Eddie Begins, we get to hear him say things like "I left first" and "I've failed that kid more times than I can count but I love him enough to never stop trying" but we kinda have to take that on faith? Because we hadn't actually seen him be anything besides a good dad until we saw his Begins episode. (And even then in his begins it's like "area man in his early 20s unsure how to care for small child while also coping with PTSD and a toxic support system" which like. yeah. no shit. there's one hell of a learning curve there)

The thing about Eddie and Shannon as a couple and as parents that always gets to me is that they were so fucking young. We don't know exactly how old Eddie is in the show, but we can guesstimate pretty safely that he's around the same age as Ryan which would make him between 23 and 24 when Chris was born, and it seems reasonable to believe Shannon was around the same age. It's also a pretty common reading in the fandom -- although I'm not sure how much canon support there is for it because we really, really don't know anything about their relationship pre-Christopher unless I'm forgetting something -- that they got married because Shannon got pregnant and that was the Done Thing. And when you're 23-24, baby on the way, freshly married, that is just like. So much. It sure as hell ruined my parents' relationship when they did that exact thing, and then they disliked each other until they were 27 and then they got divorced, and no one was happier than me about it, I have to tell you.

Back to the show, I can only give you my impressions, obviously, but the impression I have always gotten from the whole "I left too" conversation and the context that goes into it and the different behaviours we see exhibited by the characters is that Eddie "left" first and it comes across to me that he was basically an early twenty-something kid running scared from the abstract concept of being a father in general, and then when he was forced home by an honourable discharge, and was confronted with the reality of Christopher, he managed to step the fuck up and become Christopher's dad. It's there in 2x02, right? "Oh, you've got a kid? I love kids!" "I love this one." Eddie doesn't strike me as a Swiss Army Knife all-purpose Dad(tm) the way Bobby is. Eddie is Christopher's dad. (and like, of course, he's obviously moved by kids when he's on a call, we've seen that enough times to know that if there's a child who can even glancingly remind him of Christopher, Eddie's sense of self-preservation goes out the window, and I love that about him as heart-stopping as it can be in practice)

Shannon, on the other hand, didn't run from the idea of being a mother -- at first. When she left, it wasn't from the abstract. She left Chris (and "gave up" on Eddie, thanks Helena). She was not running from a concept, she was running from a reality. I think Shannon is a fascinating character to include in a television show as a side character, because she really isn't a one note character. Like, she was unarguably a bad mother, and from what we saw, she was a questionable romantic partner to have (but as you said, anon, Eddie was also not 100% the best romantic partner when he was with Shannon either; their entire relationship so far as I can tell was built on sexual chemistry which, uh, super does not sustain a relationship), but she also seems to have been a devoted daughter? I mean, yeah, it's entirely possible that her mom being sick was a convenient excuse to bail -- and obviously she didn't come back after her mom died, and didn't, y'know, contact her son or husband in the interim, so yes, I can see that being a valid way to read the situation. I don't think she's the Ultimate Evil, because she strikes me as a very human character in all the ways that people are more often than not really fucking flawed.

But then we get back to the actual break-up scene. The first time I watched it (and second, and third; then the fourth time the person I was watching with was like "I mean, sure, but it could also be read in this light") her "I'm just learning how to be someone's mother" speech really bothered me? Partly because it was the abstraction of it, right? Eddie doesn't like kids, he likes Christopher, and Shannon sort of had the inverse journey there, I guess, where it went from she didn't know how to be Christopher's mother, to she didn't know how to be a mother. And that speech bothered me because it always sounded to me like she was bailing again. She begged Eddie to let her back into Christopher's life (guilt? I guess?) and like, straight up bribed him with sex which was sure a choice, and then decides -- for a second time -- that she's out. It sounded, to me, she was handing Eddie papers and maybe, in a few years, possibly, once she'd had "time" to "figure out how to be someone's mother" she would try again. Just like she had in the interim between leaving when Christopher was little and the time of season 2.

And like, that could totally be a misunderstanding of the scene and what she was saying. It's what I took away from it, but that could very well be influenced by the fact I was raised by divorced parents and my dad had custody and if you count up all the time I spent with either parent when I was a minor, I was predominantly raised by my father and have had an especially tempestuous relationship with my mother that is mostly (sometimes) repaired now that I'm in my late twenties and have not lived with her since I was sixteen.

Back to the show, and to your comment that the fandom tends to treat Shannon like the Ultimate Evil and act like Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, I mean. Yeah. Fandom as a rule tends to shirk nuance. We're all fools here on the internet sitting in our blue industrial waste container crying about a wee woo show. I personally believe a more nuanced take on that might be that Eddie has shown a great capacity to learn from his mistakes (sometimes to make fun, shiny, new ones, but for the most part, just like ends up doing better the next time) and Shannon did not show that capacity in the time we knew her.

I think, depending on what they did with it, there was potential for an interesting storyline if they'd played through the divorce. I don't think it would've been rehashing ground covered by Michael and Athena's divorce because I can't see Eddie and Shannon having reached a point of amicability and friendship. The only thing we know they had in common was Christopher, and frankly, when you boil it down, the ways they engaged with Christopher as a person were so disparate that -- to me -- it really didn't seem like they had Christopher in common when you get right down to it. But I wouldn't have wanted to see Christopher and Eddie dragged through an ugly divorce process. They deserve better than that.

There's also a conversation to be had about Shannon's blatant ableism towards her own son, but that is extremely not my lane since I am not disabled myself. But even from an outside perspective, basically their entire parking lot conversation in Haunted, uh, haunts me with it's repugnance and the fact that instead of calling her on any of it, Eddie "Chronically touch starved" Diaz's response was to kiss her? Gosh golly do I wish that was one of the mistakes he learned from properly instead of finding a new, shiny version.

ANYWAY this got long, tl;dr (although if you clicked on the read more, you probably read it) version is No, Shannon is not the Ultimate Evil, she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress; and No, Eddie is not a flawless human who's never done wrong in his life but holy fuck is he trying and he'd be the first person to tell you he's made mistakes (and often has been); and no, sorry, I don't want to see the divorce storyline play out because we probably would've had to see either Eddie Bashing, Shannon Redemption, or Shannon turning up again like a cardboard cut out of a cartoon villain the way Eva did and I want to be witness to exactly zero of those things.

[kaonite]

Can we hear about your Misraaks headcanons pls?

hahahaaha ahah okay so this turned more into picking him apart rather than headcanons but i mixed them in there ::3 (im so sorry, i cannot be coherent at all and gushed profusely. i promise my writing is way different than the way i type this out.)

for some reason it wont let me add tags??? so i hope no one is upset by that!

-misraaks doesnt know how to be 'normal' per say, barring the fact he IS an alien(this goes with my super personal headcanon that the wolves just breed some ODD eliksni. 110% there’s something SUPER up with the wolves (or gentle weavers) as a whole. there's something in the ether turning the wolves into human simps) and is just a weird guy? Who 'turns their back' on their own without being a little fucking odd? i mean if i saw a almost 7ft tall lady and she dragged me away from my attempted suicide (thats some baggage already) and offered peace in a my cultures way id rethink my ideals too (theres more to it i know but humor me!) Also unlearning ALL you've been taught was rough and trying but he was a young mind and to be honest... that's probably for the best (no doubt sjur did use him against the wolves but i really feel their friendship was genuine, full of a lot of love and respect after he stopped being an angsty vandal with unresolved mommy issues)

-he puts on this show of being strong and unyielding but if he trusts you he just crumbles and is bare to the bone about everything. misraaks isn't afraid of being honest per say, he may come off brash but he's just telling it like it is... no sense in beating around the bush. he's not an asshole but being raised the way he was uh... some tact had be learned. 

-no no no it's not bc his mother may have been strict and terrifying to some degree so he has to be the strongest  or he feels he'll fail everyone he knows. so when someone breaks down his walls he's just a soft, sappy individual who just wants everyone to have a peaceful life together while trying to be strong for everyone else at his own mental expense. hes so passionate, charismatic and driven even with all the odds stacked against him, the fucking STRENGTH in that. (DREG STRENGTH GO! even tho he's not a dreg u get my meaning, everyone so far has deemed him as such) what a king! ❤ (praksis u call him foolish again i'll break every one of the generators in your lab)

-brings me to my next headcanon that the nightmare in the moon, horkis? Is his mother and all the teachings that she and others brought upon him as a child up until meeting sjur concentrated into one being. that if he doesn't bleed for the cause, die for the cause, then he has failed his people.  OOPS! IT'S ALL DEEP SEATED TRAUMA! 

-also headcanon she was the one to dock him? to make it extra good when he thinks back on her in the misraaks lore tab 

(I normally don't slander moms bc damn if anyone slandered my mom id throw hands but bungie gave me the scraps and im working with them and misraaks seemed like he had a pretty standard, though super strict, upbringing ::) )

-he appears haughty, self-assured and a bit cold though that's just how he projects himself... he's not actually that way? I mean, hes pretty calm and collected. he expresses a deep  loyalty and love for Sjur and cares for his fireteam immensely. He trusted his fireteam enough to take them to her resting place, how is that not vulnerability we otherwise don't really see? 

He'd throw down for his friends and loved ones because that's just how Eliksni ARE. kin is everything, even friends. he just has a different way of showing it. 

-misraaks... okay i have to say he's into poetry, or talking poetically. the way he speaks is almost... romantic (not in a bad or spicy way!) i just know that boy really SPEAKS in such an eloquent, thoughtful sense. there's a lot of meaning and love in his words. he doesn't just SAY things to fill the silence. every word has a meaning, a purpose. i love that about him. 

-okay maybe i headcanon his fireteam being all around goofballs with him at times of respite, softening out his sharp edges. making him loosen up and enjoy the little things in life rather than worrying about the bigger picture. (bungie where's that getting drunk with his fireteam lore tab? i would like to see it. you have it with the yw and crow... it's the least you could do for the misraaks stans...) i just feel its hard for him to sit and do nothing, just to fool around, be a "normal person" due to the fact his whole life up to his moment of wanting to create house light has been death and war. He was MADE for war. it'd be hard for him to adjust to a 'happier' existence without a little prodding

-he doesn't care about glory, or is doing what he does for selfish gain. he genuinely just wants to help, to create peace. so if anyone approached him with the kell of kells title he'd promptly tell them to shove it (sorry misraaks... you're in the same boat with the young wolf... you can't escape your destiny)

-can we talk about how much misraaks unlearned from sjur then YEARS later is with dusk, meets the young wolf (that annoying bastard of a guardian! :) ), they spare him then it seems like something unlocks in him. like we were the final catalyst to his dreams being real. no longer did he want to be canon fodder, or use his crew as such, he wanted to lead... to be better, to do better for his people along the guardians. maybe he could be better than just another solider dying for a cause they didn't even know at that point. he could be everything his kind rallied against and be GREATER than he was taught to be , not stepping on those deemed less than him. his MIND 

-can i just shoehorn something in real quick. I don't believe he'd practice docking after everything. I just can't see it and i always see him having trauma around docking so why would he wish that on others as a treatment under his kellship? It took him A LONG ASS TIME to unlearn how fucked up it is and how their society as whole is (ie. he literally fantasized about his mother docking him. how is that not absolutely insane to hear?)  also it'd be useless at this point, he'd need people at their prime, not missing two arms for an old, unnecessary dark practice. he doesn’t want people to fear him, if your people fear you are you truly a leader?

*cuts this ask open with a knife and lets loose a character interpretation more than headcanons* OOPS

am i projecting? maybe but bungie gave me crumbs and i am going to use them

im holding back a bunch of thoughts bc most of them center around much more personal headcanons bc this is my emotional support eliksni :') plus ive written so much already im pretty sure you all think im insane.

If anyone has anything to add feel free! Id love to hear it, you may have some ideas/headcanons/interpretations i didn't list or i never though of! of course... most of this is projecting, who doesn't do that to their fave?

and honestly, i am so open to talking about him in depth, if you want to, shoot me a message! I'll get to it! :3

[bausbitch]

I'm sorry

Reid x reader

ANGST AHAHA

Req but @blankets-for-bees

Warnings: kidnapping, established relationship, gunshot, Spencer being an ass at first, also this IS NOT really funny as my other works //read: I'll try because I'm just such a naturally good comedian,,,or a mental asylum escapee,,// 🤩 OH and a happy ending

Spencer had been,,,,

Awfully cold to you

For the last 6 months

Yeah, it was beginning to get on your nerves

It felt like living with a whole ghost 👻

And it wasn't like it was his work

You two had the same job for fucks sake

You even shared a home

But lately

Spencer would ONLY talk to you at work

And only when it was life or death

So basically when hotch paired you two up

And omg

The team

They had no idea

So they insisted you two sleep in the same room on this case

Bc you two are their fav couple!!!!!

But they didn't know that for the last six months

You were practically single

Except you couldn't go anywhere

And you wouldn't go out to flirt with people

Because you were a good s/o

*cough* unlike Spencer *cough*

Ok so this usub

The universe said

Fuck you, yn yln 🤩🤪🤡

This particular unsub

Kidnapped failing couples

And threw them in a house

A giant doll house

And sedated them

And played with them like dolls

And made them kiss and stuff

Like

Idk how to explain it

Like when you were little

And you didn't know you really LIKED liked girls

But you were always making your Frankie and ghoulia monster high dolls kiss in the first grade????

Or like

I think it's like ep 12 season 5

My best friend and I watched that one

Sigh

I miss her

Anyways

When you finally moved rooms

You walked in

And it felt like the weight of the world was lifted

Off of your shoulders

Don't worry the world is still pretty heavy

Issok though the world doesn't have to be a skinny legend

WAIT

This is supposed to be an angst

Ok

AHEM

Angsty angst angst

So you were like

Hell yeah

I'm gonna go chill in the jacuzzi

Then I'm gonna come back

And I'm gonna have a level head

Key words: come back

See, I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man

Okokok

So you were vibing in the jacuzzi

Then you saw Spencer

And

Gasp!

A woman that didn't look like any of the girls on the team was going into his room!!

You knew

You were being irrational

But you were like

Son of a bitch >:(

Alexa play jealousy by Monsta x

Anny. W. Ays

You went into the room

Or at least you knocked

And gasp

She answered

Ok

She seemed,,,

Suspicious

Probably bc she's the unsub yn you dumb bitch

And you were like

"Hey is Spencer in there?"

Like you WEREN'T his h*cking gf

And she straight up

PUNCHES YOU

Ok more like

Knocks you out with a blow to the face

And draws you inside

Ok now Spencers pov bc you're getting too much attention and he needs an explanation for making me play jealousy

Spencer

Oh god that I don't believe in how do I explain him

He was having a tough time

Ok wbk he's smart as hell

But when I comes to people who are FINE

Such as yourself

He gets a lil

*Patrick star from Spongebob noises*

So

Even if you guys had literally been dating for like

Five? Six? Years

He was starting to get scared

Bc

Ok so you guys had said the L world

You said it all the time

But

Spencer

He

He wanted to propose to you

Like

On one knee

Ring and everything

But he was scared

He was really really scared

Bc he wouldn't know what to do if you said no

Which

Why would you

You two were practically already married

You literally had a drunken, unofficial ceremony at Rossi's place one time

But he felt like

You wouldn't be ready

So he was like

Ok gotta set up a back up plan

If they reject me

And I have to go to work and see them

How do I not see them

How do I live without them?

Ah

I ignore them

😌

Plan: set

Spencer : fucking idiot

SO HE

He acted like you weren't there

And he eventually thought you were mad at him

Bc you weren't reaching out any more

Dumb bitch they think YOU'RE mad at them

Okokokok

Back to kidnapping

When he woke up

He was,,,,

*drum roll*

In a house?

A really nice house

Or at least the bedroom was nice

Or the roof of it

And what he could see from his peripheral vision

He could see you though

He could feel you

You were laying on his chest

Your arms around him

And he could tell you were still asleep

His serotonin levels went up higher than they had in months

Over the last six months he hadn't said a word

And he'd let you sleep on the couch

Smh and I thought he was a genius

But he missed you

But he had to make sure he was ready

To be honest

He probably knew what he was doing was irrational and the definition of idiotic

He also knew that by doing this he was maximising his chances of you not wanting to marry him

But he just

"Y'all hear smth?" -Spencer Reid, about his problems

Annie Oakley

Anyways

While he was too busy making heart eyes at your sleeping figure

Ya boy forgot to check if he could move

Turns out,,,,

He couldn't

Bc,,,,

*puts hands together like cat in the hat does*

This unsub, like I said before

SEDATED YOU TWO

So he waited

Until

The woman he unwillingly let into his hotel room, all by the service of a gun and a threat to his life 😄

Came and did whatever the fuck she was gonna do

Play with you guys more than my 6th grade crush played with my heart

And she did😋🥳🤩!!!!

But don't fret

She wasn't gonna hurt you

You had actually concluded the deaths were accidental

Just like me

Okoko so

She was strong

Like really fucking strong

Because she hauled both you and Spence

Into a little dining room

And served and fed you breakfast

You were connected to iv tubes

But still

But everything

The creepiest detail

According to me at least 💁✨

Was how all the food and everything

Were wood

Like

Toys for kids

Or something karuna satori would use in an asmr video

-

You woke up in the middle of,,,

Watching a movie on the couch with Spencer????

It was still daytime

Or so you thought

Bc the unsub pulled up

WITH A GUN

You don't have many things in life rn, but here's a list if things you do have, to cheer you up 😋

A lovely hole in your arm! V v useful for holding very small, thin, cups!!!

A v sad Spencer Reid! Comes with his own tears and despair!!! How fun!

And last but not least!

A wonderful speech from our sponsor!! //read: the unsub//

"Why must everything bad always happen to me! You two are very bad dolls! No one is a good doll, you're all useless and now I have to kill you >:("

Lmfao why does she sound like my bratty baby cousin

Anyways

"The FBI is at the door! Which one of you called them? You whore! It was probably you!"

First of all,,, how dare she

You didn't even THINK about other men in the 6 months your boyFRIEND ghosted you

So

Jokes on her

Second of all

You were bleeding out and Spencer was wiggling behind you

Probably a victory dance smh 😤

But then

GASP!!!

she went upstairs 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

And you heard voices

Morgan!!! Hotch!!! *insert police's name*!!

Then you passed out bc

💥bloodloss💥

And when you woke up

Spencer was fine

Physically

But he was hunched over

"Yn I'm so sorry. I love you so much and I was so scared I'd lose you if I proposed too early, and now I'm probably going to lose you without even saying a word. Honey I love you, I love you so much-"

And you were like

Hold up

LET GO OF MY HAND MF YOU MAY BE SKINNY BUT YOUR STRONG WTF

Then

"Did you say purpose?"

And he was like

"Yes(?) "

And you kissed him for the first time in sixth months

"Yes I'll marry, now let go of my hand"

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Quirkless Erasure

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

In some worlds, Midoriya Izuku is the first quirkless hero. But not in this one, not by far.

Because his homeroom teacher is the hero he's always looked up to: UA's first quirkless Pro Hero.

----

Izuku isn't the only quirkless one, and Aizawa gets into the hero course via emotional devastation against his opponents.

anyway so: quirkless aizawa bc i need that

everyone thinks he has a quirk like emotional manipulation of something but no he's just fucking savage, he gets into the hero course bc he blasted the absolute shit out of mic

everything’s on youtube it’s one of the most viewed videos of all time

this aizawa's eyes are permanently gold bc i headcanon it's his quirk that makes his eyes black, not the colour they flash

"you yell because you have a constant fear no one is really listening to you. you play the class clown and don't try too hard so when you look back you think "i failed because i didn't try" not "i failed because i wasn't good enough""

"bro,,, bro what the fuck did i do to you"

aizawa isn’t even salty he’s quirkless tbh

"you're pushing this on me because it hurts, right? your loud, flashy but damaging quirk means the only thing people think you're useful for is heroics. did you want to do this, or is this the only way society will let you feel comfortable in the role it presses in on you"

"well being quirkless is rough but at least i cn be whatever i want to be"

mics just shell shocked mics not even using his quirk and everyone’s just uwu he’s erasing mics quirk

all aizawa does is walk is close and mutter "society thinks im worthless, which is rough. but you have to put your life on the line or you're nothing better than a villain to the people"

and just, lightly pushes him out of bounds

pls mics just in Love this guy tore him to fucking pieces but Damn

aizawa  helps him up off the floor

"so im probably not wrong but im a little sorry for saying it on live tv"

mic "youre amazing"

aizawa just goes bright red and starts sputtering

aizawa: the emotional devastation hero weakness: genuine compliments

consider 1A teacher aizawa just still made of emotional devastation, nezu made him promise not to use his powers of destruction on his children unless he was expelling them 

this is a quirkless izuku au too, mirio got ofa, allmight encouraged izuku to be a hero after the fight but had no quirk to give him and he manages to make his own way into the hero course

so izuku is a little analyst, gets mostly hero points but uses sharp rebar and poles to smash in the sensors of some robots, getting him a few non-rescue points either. Aizawa is watching like "oh interesting a non-combat quirk" and beside him allmight is vibrating with excitement

"he might actually do it!"

"who might do what"

allmight turns sheepishly to aizawa

"young midoriya on camera 6, he might just be the first quirkless student to pass the enterance exam to heroics straight up"

and aizawa can hardly watch anyone else for the rest of the exam, he adopts this kid on the fucking Spot

hes on the edge of his fucking seat, when nezu sends out the zero pointer. "this kid only needs 10 more points, just ten more" and izuku turns around to look at the 0 pointer and aizawa is like "fuck kid i hope you know what youre doing"

he manages to shove a piece of rebar into the treads, stoping it in its place. it tries to swat him like a bug but he just dives out of the way, picks up ochako and sprints and aizawa is like "holy shit holy shit these bastards better give this kid hero points for that"

like they are assigning final hero points and aizawa has to awkwardly put his hand up "i,,, should probably be excluded from giving midoriya hero points because i went from 0 to bias very very quickly"

allmight just nods sagely

"young midoriya be like that sometimes"

pls aizawa tries to act extra tough bc he can’t let anyone know he’s Adopted this child

for all izuku's brain hes useless w social stuff and thinks aizawa hates him but everyone else k n o w s

also izuku is the only person in 1A who knows ab aizawa's "quirk" and hes like, constantly vibrating w glee around the guy

aizawa walks in the first day, hears bakugo asking how this "quirkless bastard" got in, grabs bakugo w his scarf and yeets him into vlad’s room

"ok students, looks like we are a class of 19. any other comments before we start?"

and like everyone is so lost no one questions it

bakugo is screaming bloody murder until vlad "kindly" tells him ua has a strict no discrimination policy and aizawa would have been well within his rights to expel him

please nezu is like "uwu take one of 1B to make the classes even" and vlad is like "no ive already bonded tough cookies" vlad just adopts bakugo instantly

monoma and bakugou become bros, the baku-squad is 50% a thing, but its mostly 1B students but with pinning kiri. kendo and bakugo both keep monoma in line, monoma and kendo keep bakugo in line

during the sports festival shinsou is like "you must have a blessed quirk to get into the hero course"

and izuku just has this "really. this si what we're doing now" look on his face. hes just gesturing to shinso in exasperation, trying to make eye contact w aizawa hidden up in the commentary box

all you can hear from the box is aizawa quiet snickering as mic tries not to give the game away. he yeets shinso out of bonds and just hauls him back to his feet

"im quirkless you nonce"

"oh,,,"

"yeah, oh. what, gonna be embarrassed a quirkless kid kicked your ass?"

"nah i just feel bad for being a dick"

"ok you are the only valid person ive ever met, come meet my not-dad"

"wait what"

izuku fireman carries shinso into the announcers booth and just presents him to aizawa

you can just vaguely hear "no not kid" "but he'll be perfect" "kid this is live ask me after the festival" "but! hed be perfect! and you could train him to carry on your legacy of soul-crushing burns" "... hmmm"

"do i get a say in this?" "no" "nope"

mic just loudly saying "SO BEFORE WE WITNESS A CHILD CRY LIVE ON AIR AGAIN, AS ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THIS FESTIVAL, LETS START THE NEXT ROUND!"

there’s a counter “days since someone last cried: 0”

please its like "times cried durring all sports festivals" "average cry events" "number of times cried this festival"

aizawa being even more of a dad than canon, like hes a mess he sees on sad kid and he's like "wow that's my kid now"

he makes them soup when they get sick and leaves it outside their doors, refuses to admit its him doing it

soup cryptid

please mic is like 100% in love with him and had been for years but aizawa still has internal bias against the quirkless and thinks he's not good enough for mic so he cant make himself see the flirting for what it really is

“haha he’s just being friendlyL

“aizawa i literally want to marry u”

“awww ur so nice u mean as friends tho right?”

in this au ive decided that quirkless heroes are a thing, but pretty rare, in japan they are all underground bc villains go after them a l o t. there are some public ones in america but they tend to,,, die,,, pretty quickly

and bc there are some quirkless heroes everyone acts like discrimination isn't a thing anymore and quirkless people should shut up while quirkless people are still getting killed and committing suicide at like 500% the rate of people with quirks

also the suicide rate is,,,,, significantly higher in japan but no one ever talks abt it bc japan the “ideal place for people with quirks” so that surely means nothing could ever go wrong

izuku does the "its your power" speech in like 3 parts, before, during and after the sports festival bc he needs he bones w no quirk

stain asks izuku what his quirk is and izuku does the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy"

",,, where are your parents"

"one abandoned me straight up and the other is giving it a red hot go right now, try me coward"

izuku but everytime he roasts a villain he does it in vine quotes

tl;dr in the au inko is like,, not ok w izuku being a hero and she's trying to do the "leave the school or you can't live here any more" ultimatum and it's not working for her

bc izuku said "ok bye then" and now lives out of his backpack. no one knows. he just like,, sleeps on the train

and iida is like "owo could i come over to your house" and izuku is like

"aaaaa its on fire. yep. made of arsenic and always in flames, why dont we go to the park"

everyone in 1a is like betting on what his house is like. they harass katsuki in 1b but he refuses to talk

hes like "hell no i got thrown into another class for talking ab that nerd eat my left tit"

they only fucking work it out when aizawa and allmight go to izukus house to talk ab dorms and there is literally no one there

aizawa asks izuku ab it like "kid you need to update your forms with your current address" and hes like "oh worm, she moved? wack."

“u,,,,didn’t know,,,,”

“nah lmao i sleep on the bench in a park near here”

“my boy,,,,,l

"what, ochako lives alone!"

"yeah, in a fucking house, kid"

aizawas just: this is literal child abuse i’m ur guardian now

allmight "hes my kid too dont be greedy"

"fuck off all might you already have mirio" "and you already have shinsou!" nighteye, from around the corner "ill take him!" aizawa and allmight "NO"                                  

mic adopts him nezu just sitting in the distance "well, its my school. i get the kid" one whole school full of adult heroes "NO ITS MY SON,,," izukus like crying "wait,,, you guys aren't sick of me? wild" while sobbing

afo out of nowhere: i’ll take the child :))) everyone collectively: N O

for self-indulgence, izuku is the youngest in the class for this au so they all call him their little brother

consider: quirkless aizawa is very similar to normal aizawa but he does practise self-care, he just tries to make it look like he doesnt because hes like that

if i dont take care of myself ill never be able to stand up to the heroes w quirks but also do i deserve normal good human things

tl:dr: he can cook well and is trying to teach izuku that 2-minute noodles and apples arent hero fuel

inko is like: "uwu i wont change what i cook for you so you'll just have to make do owo" in like, a pathetic attempt to get him to stop training so izuku runs off protein bars, electrolyte drinks and raw vegetables

just like, his bento at school. its only raw mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes and 2 full carrots

the only time he gets like a kinda valid balanced meal for a hero in training is when he pops by bakugous place and mitsuki forces him to stay for lunch

izuku is like "oh hi bakugo i have ur book-" "HI ITS LUNCH GET IN PIPSQUEAK"

hes just thrown into a chair, bakugo isnt even confused. izuku is like ",,,, so vlad gave me your book bc your house is near mums." "fair enough. hope you like miso salmon"

izuku just looks stary eyed

"f i s h ??? warm food bakugo id kill for you"

"deku wtf"

"i had nothing but 3 scoops of protein powder and 2 tomatoes today"

“dEKU WHAT THE FUCK”

"i had to eat the protein podwer with plain water kacchan. protein sludge followed by two raw tomatoes. i would commit real actual murder for you"

mitsuki always packs an extra bento after that

so like when it’s dorm time izuku gets rly stressed out bc he doesn’t know how to cook for himself??? bakugous in the 1b dorms and even if he wasn’t he definitely wouldn’t cook for him

1a goes on a fucking shopping trip, chaperoned, obviously

and they’re lining up and aizawa sees that izukus cart is only filled with like??? instant noodles and like two (2) fruits and he’s losing his mind bc yes okay he’s a child but he’s also a young hero and he’s going to get a heart attack by 20 if he doesn’t fix his diet

aizawa is like "izuku, you cant eat that" and izuku just goes "oh ok" puts the noodles back and comes back with a tub of protein powder and like 11 vegetables and a bag of kale

okay this is an improvement kinda, how do u cook it

,,,,,c

cook?

izuku just has a totally blank face

"i was just gonna like,,, eat it"

"raw."

"uh, yeah, is that not how u eat vegetables?”

"thats a potato. and some leeks. thats a fucking onion"

"it wont kill me though"

"thats,,, that not how you pick food kid."

“but vegetable??? good????”

"kid do you even fucking like any of this"

"wait, im supposed to like?? my food???"

yagi in the fucking health food isle hearing this is 50% laughing but 50% crying

aizawa: “izuku ur supposed to eat a well balanced and tasty meal”

izuku: *surprized pikachu face*

please even todoroki is like ",,, at least fuyumi could c o o k"

oh god imagine having a worse diet than shouto todoroki from 1a who eats nothing but cold soba and drinks juice

also please aizawa is like "kid i thought you just happened to be thin but now im seeing thats not the case"

bakugo in the distance "like inko ever fed him enough anyway lmao"

aizawa "WAIT WHAT"

whys bakugou shopping with 1a? its actually all 40 of the first years just descending on this poor little store. it’s this little mom and pop grocery store and a billion hungry hero hopefuls just burst through the door like 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒏𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔

izuku is like "oh its too expensive" and aizawa is just holding a bag of rice, aizawa is like "its cheaper than the protein powder you have"

and izuku is like "yeah i mean its empty calories and im not paying that much for empty calories"

",,,"

"thats what you taught us sensei!"

"EMPTY CALORIES ARE ONLY A PROBLEM IF UR EATING TOO MUCH"

"and?"

"YOU HAVE 3 POTAOES FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS"

"i can put some back if you want?"

"THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DONT WANT"

[ladybugsfanfics]

(red flags look like normal flags when you’re wearing) rose-tinted glasses

pairing: Tom Hiddleston x platonic!reader

style: one shot

WC: 2.7k

summary: requested by anonymous on tumblr: “Reader is small and have an Danish Dog, thats actually an giant drool dog. While she's taking the dog to the park he start running with Bob while on the tab and he keeps pulling her until Tom saves her. Then Bobby start growling at her, and they think that is bcs he's jealous...”

warnings: angst, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, ABUSE, PHYSICAL ABUSE, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, ANIMAL ABUSE, please note the abuse, this fic contains it

A/N: this was really hard to write and i want it to be clear that ive never been in an abusive relationship so ive done my best to portray it and how hard it is to break out of it, but i dont have firsthand information. please let me know if something seems unrealistic or weird. i want you all to know that there are explicit abuse, but that it's not very violent but it still has an emotional impact. please don't read if you know it won't be good for you, and there is a happy ending even tho ive made the relationship between reader and tom platonic (that's more for realistic purposes).

The tall man startles as the bark sounds through the park. You widen your eyes at the sight of the little brown the male walks with. 

No, no, no , you think. 

Your dog, or actually your boyfriend’s dog, is rather big. The giant of a dog also barks whenever he sees brown dogs (as if the dog can be racist, honestly you have no idea how it works, but there are many things that can be the reason), and the dog that man walks with―  

You don’t want to think about it. 

Nor do you get the chance as your tight grip on the leash seems to be your downfall. The dog has almost leapt into the air as the barks rip through the quiet silence of the park. 

“Yoshi! Stop!” you yell, but to no avail. He keeps running, stronger than you even as you put your heels down on the ground and try to brake. 

The tall male has turned around. You send him a pleading look as your dog, almost literally, attacks his little one. In the sudden change of speed, where Yoshi goes from running and barking to hopping around and barking, you trip over your own feet and find yourself on your way to face planting with the ground below. 

A pair of strong arms around your hips keep you from falling and you’re put back up on your feet with your back pressed to a muscular chest. As you regain your balance, the arms fall away. They don’t go far, only to grip the leash of your dog in an attempt to help your arm not dislocate. 

“Thank you,” you say as you crouch down to keep Yoshi under control. He’s stopped barking, and with your soft strokes along his neck, he stops hopping, too. 

“You’re welcome,” replies your saviour. 

Standing up, you find a handsome male looking at you. Curly ginger hair, the most reassuring smile you have ever seen, and gentle blue-green eyes that makes you feel at ease. The way his eyes trace over you make you drag down the sleeve of your jacket slightly, and then you return his smile to the best of your abilities. 

“He can be a little unruly at times, I’m so sorry.” You press your lips together in a tight lipped smile, shaking your head to let your hair come back to the front and cover your neck where your scarf fails. “I think something might’ve happened when he was a puppy because he only reacts to brown dogs.”

The stranger’s smile crinkles his eyes and he lets out a slight chuckle. Your heart beats faster at the sound. You will it to shut up. “Don’t worry about it,” he says. “I’m Tom, by the way.”

“I’m Y/N.” You swallow the lump in your throat. Throat dry and heart steadily beating faster, the pounding like a drum inside your head. “I’m sorry, again. For the whole… thing. But I should get going now.” 

With a little tug of Yoshi’s leash you turn to continue down the path you were headed. A wait from Tom has you turn back around. He steps closer to you, tugging with him his own dog that so far seems rather docile and that you find super cute. 

“Could I possibly get your number?” he asks. 

If your heart hadn’t already lodged itself in your throat from talking to him, it definitely shot there now. With a steady breath (as steady as you can) you nod. “Yeah, sure.” And you take the phone Tom hands you. 

It takes no time typing in your number, but you nearly drop the phone when Tom’s dog starts barking at you. Big dog eyes that look at you, nose high in the air and the barking growing steadily louder as he continues.

Tom frowns at his dog as he accepts his phone. He shakes his head and tugs at the leash, telling ‘Bobby’ to quiet and that there’s nothing to bark about. “I’m sorry,” he says. “He’s probably a little jealous.”

You try for a smile and a soft laugh but it comes out more strained. “Yes, jealous. Makes sense, I guess.” With a deep sigh, you turn to look at Tom again. “Again, so sorry. I guess I’ll hear from you. Bye.”

And now you leave with Yoshi in tow before Tom can stop you. 

You wonder what he’ll do if he finds out you won’t answer his messages. Wonder if he’ll do the same as your boyfriend does whenever you forget to answer or don’t do something as he wants. 

After all, fear was the only reason you did give Tom your phone number. That reassuring smile fools no one, and those gentle eyes are the same gentle ones he uses in front of others. 

Sorry, Tom, but I won’t exchange him for someone worse . Even if I might deserve it . 

 ---

The door is unlocked when you get home. The shoe rack kicked over and the few sets of jackets that hung in the closet have found their way to the floor. Your heart stops beating as fear settles in your gut. 

This is never good, but neither is cleaning it up before he allows you to, so you kick off your own shoes and let your jacket fall to the floor instead of hanging it up. You unclasp Yoshi’s leash and let him pad into the living room and greet his owner. 

Clenching your eyes shut, you regret letting the dog go in before you. The whimper has tears forming in your eyes. You will them back. You can’t cry. Crying just leads to a worse… you don’t know exactly what to call it. 

“Babe?” you call as you take the steps in after the dog. 

Your boyfriend’s rage filled face meets you. He’s locked the dog in its too small cage, and he hits Yoshi on the snout rather hard as the dog lets out another whimper. 

“Babe, huh?” The retort has your gut churn, nervousness courses through your veins. “What the fuck took you so long?!”

There goes the level voice. You keep from closing your eyes, embracing for impact. He likes it more when you face him head on, as if it’s some kind of challenge. Pressing your lips closed, you let your eyes wander over his face. 

You note the down-tug of his lips, the anger boiling like a hot fire in his eyes, and the flare of his nose as his form towers over you. “Bitch, I asked you a fucking question! What the fuck took you so long?!”

“Yo-Yoshi saw a… a dog. I-I couldn’t hold him back and we-we went on a detour.” God, you sound weak. I am weak , you think, too weak . 

“Couldn’t hold him back, my ass.” He takes a step closer to you. Your body moves on its own when it takes a step back. It continues until your back collides with the wall and he locks you in. “Give me your phone!”

You fish your phone out of your pocket and pray to God Tom hasn’t texted you. You haven’t gotten the chance to block his number yet and if he has texted you, well, life for the next three days will be even worse than usual. You’d deserve it, too, probably.

Fear the only thing holding your body up, you hold your breath as he checks. First when he throws it away with a silent grunt and it lands on the couch, and he doesn’t yell, do you let yourself breathe again. 

“Fucking good for you there was nothing there.” His voice is a rough whisper, hoarse and with an underlying tone of want. He doesn’t say more before he presses his lips to yours, pinning your arms to the wall and pressing your head against it. 

When one of his hands falls to your hip, pressing you close to him, pressing you close to the growing bulge in his pants, you know it’ll bruise. Just like you know the grip on your wrist will bruise and that you won’t be able to walk in the next twenty four to thirty six hours. 

You know because that’s how it always is. 

How it always has been. 

 ---

[07.47] Unknown number Hi, this is Tom. I didn’t have time to send a text yesterday, but I still wanted to tell you that I would like to meet you again. Hope that’s possible. - Tom

[08.29] Unknown number I know you haven’t replied yet, and it’s probably because you have yet to wake up, but when you do, would you be up for a cup of coffee? Either lunch or breakfast, whatever sounds best for you? - Tom

[11.32] you Hi, Tom. This is Y/N. Very sorry, but I can’t meet with you. I have plans all week and the next months. Work is taking my time, so is having a boyfriend and friends. Very sorry about my dog, again, but thank you for saving me from the ground. Have a lovely life.

🛇 Blocked

To move this conversation out of Archived and get messages again, unblock xxxxx-xxxxx 

 Unblock

---

You’re unsure what it is that has you think the thought. It pops up from nowhere, really, but it still sounds… reasonable. 

With aching moves, you pack your things. A suitcase is more than enough for everything you own (your boyfriend keeping your hobbies to a fair minimum), and everything for Yoshi.

As you pack the bare essentials, your body shakes. Every few pieces of clothing thrown into the suitcase lands outside on the floor and your heart hammers in your chest. In the bathroom, finding your toothbrush, you hear a noise from the hallway and your heart shoots into your chest. Rushing out and to the living room, you only find Yoshi with one of his toys. 

Tears prick at the back of your eyes. Fear an ever lurking presence. Putting the leash on Yoshi, you hope he isn’t close. You fumble with the clasp and use far longer than you would have liked to put it on, but thankfully, the dog’s big eyes and somewhat smile and the wagging of his tail, helps put you at ease. 

His work day still has three more hours, meaning he won’t be here for another four. That should be enough time, right? More than enough time…

You leave the door unlocked, having left the key to the apartment on the kitchen counter. If anyone robs it… you fear the repercussions, but by the time he comes home, he shouldn’t be able to find you. 

Even as you walk with Yoshi and the suitcase down the street, finding a taxi and asking him to take you to the police station, you don’t know what has settled in you. You don’t know where this is coming from. This… courage.

You’re unsure whether it was the show you saw last night where the relationship between the two romantic leads, even when they were alone, never had any hitting or bruising or anger in the same way he shows. Or if it was Tom, and the way his face still sits at the back of your mind. How you’d compared his gentle eyes and reassuring smile to his fake mask in front of others. 

Has it really taken you so long to see the difference? To see that Tom’s, despite how instilled with fear you were, actually showed genuine compassion and care, and his is always with an extra layer that it takes a lot of study to see (but what else do you use your time on when you can’t look at others when you’re out?). 

You pay the cab driver as he drops you off and you find your way into the police station. It takes a long half hour before you walk out again and sit down on the curb. It takes another three hours to stop crying and shaking. In those three hours, Yoshi lies his head in your lap and lets the weight of him being close reassure you. A man who tries to help and ask what’s wrong is quickly barked away by the dog guarding you. 

It warms your heart.  

A police officer on her way home asks you what’s wrong, and, as you don’t tell, she tells you to contact someone. She also leads you into the waiting room and tells you to sit there until you find help, even if help doesn’t come from the police. In the hour you sit there, you delete the find my phone app and you block him and everyone associated with him on everything you can remember you share. You wish you’d done it sooner. 

In your phone, you’re left with few options. 

The unblock button is easy to press. The text is everything but easy to send. Your fingers shake as you type, and there are countless spelling mistakes. Finding them all takes a few minutes, and even after telling yourself you’ll send it, your finger hovers over the send button. 

Exactly seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds later (you counted), your finger falls down and you press the send button. Watching it turn blue has your heart beat faster and faster, and you press back the tears pricking at your eyes. Swallowing hurts as your throat is unbearably dry. 

The reply comes a lot faster than you would expect, and it helps ease some of the fear lodged in your body. The tears that fall now are a mixture of relief and fear, and Yoshi lying his head down in your lap again helps you regain your composure. 

Tom picks you and Yoshi up at the police station half an hour later. He offers up his guest bedroom, but you refuse, saying you’ll stay at a hotel until you can find something. You don’t refuse his offer of going somewhere to talk over a cup of coffee.

He helps you find a hotel that allows dogs, helps you check in (unlisted) and joins you for a walk with Yoshi before you find a quiet cafe to sit down at. You sit outside, Yoshi quiet by your feet, but regarding everyone who passes by with a steady look. Being a big dog, you see more than one person a little frightened. It warms your heart.

And the coffee in front of you warms your hands. 

“Thank you, Tom,” you say, after the silence becomes too much. “I haven’t told you anything about why but you’re still willing to help. Thank you.”

Tom smiles. One of his hands leaves his cup and when it comes close to yours, you instinctively flinch―though you don’t move it (that has never gone over well in the past). Tom’s hand hovers over yours and his eyes study you as his brows crease into a frown. Your heart pounds in your chest. “I won’t ask, but I hope I can help. However you need.”

Taking a deep breath, you bite your lower lip and look down at your hands. Both now clench around your coffee cup. The steam rises in the cool air and the smell stirs something in your gut, something that has tears prick at the back of your eyes. You let your hearts incessant pounding die down before you look up Tom. 

“I could use a friend,” you say, eventually. The smile you try to show is crooked and unsure, and you know the fright is visible through it. 

Tom still smiles. His eyes are gentle and reassuring, and it warms you that there actually does exist someone who doesn’t raise his voice at weakness and vulnerability. Someone who wants to help, and who doesn’t demand answers. 

You could use a friend. A friend who lets you find your own way and lets you take your time. 

“Anything you need, Y/N,” replies Tom. “Time, space, money, a hug, a friend . Anything.”

This time, when you smile, it crinkles by your eyes. It’s still crooked and unsure, but most of the fright is gone. 

You’ve finally taken off the rose-tinted glasses.

A/N: you’ve reached the end so please let me know that you’re alright, i care!

permanent tags:  @devilbat @adefectivedetective @gamillian @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @heartislubbingdubbing @wiczer @chillcan @geeksareunique @fandom-imagines1 @murdermornings

tom tags:  @inlovewith3 @bookgirlunicorn​ @mindlesschicca​ @justawriterinprogress​ @wolfsmom1 @loser-alert​ @satanskatze​ @timetravelingsociopathicwalker

[for-ests]

Always Enough- Peter Parker x Reader

Okay so this imagine was an anon request that I had previously posted, but I accidentally deleted. I didn't mean to, so here’s a re-upload. Happy finals & sorry my dumbass clicked the wrong button on tumblr mobile because im stupid

Summary (bc the request deleted w/ the post): The reader realizes she had been neglecting Peter because she was stressed over school. Peter thinks there might be another reason because she has become distant. Confrontation and angst follows!

Word count: 2, 360

✭♡✭♡✭♡✭

Finals were a killer, especially for a nursing major like yourself. The stress of it all made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Cry for hours until you couldn't cry no more. 

But that wasn't an option. What you dreamed of becoming, something simple, yet incredibly difficult, was growing out of reach. Your hours of studying had led you nowhere, only to barely tangible grades. Grades that were barely above average. You were disappointed, discouraged, and running out of options.

What else would you do with your life? Becoming a nurse was the only thing you had ever wanted to be, it was all you knew. Ever since aliens rained in the sky, your only motive was to help the ones who couldn't help themselves. But how could you ever hope to do that when you couldn't pass biochem?

What didn't help your anxious mind was the house you had to stress over, and your minimum wage restaurant job that didn't add to your required expertise. Tears welled in your eyes as you remembered you had to lay a payment down on your ever-increasing student loans. Maybe college wasn't for you. Perhaps it was never meant to be. Your summer money was running out and fast.

Just breathe. You repeated. I don't have time to cry.

You could cry after you studied. And right now, you had barely glanced at your flashcards for more than ten minutes. It seemed like you were paralyzed, sitting in bed with your flashcards scattered around you, all of them laid out and waiting for involvement.

Just as you were about to pick up the first card, your phone buzzed beside you. Instinctively, you glanced at it, your heart dropping when you saw Peter's name flash across the screen.

Date. You had a date night, and you forgot.

"Fuck!" You cursed out loud, the tears you had tried so hard to control seeming to burst over your eyelids. How could you forget?

Peter: I'll be there in 15 minutes :D

You replied immediately, glancing at yourself in the phone's reflection. You looked terrible and distraught beyond compare.

Y/N: Peter…im so sorry I forgot, i'm not ready

Peter: oh

Y/N: i have a huge exam soon, maybe its for the best that we rain check? i'm sorry I know ive done this before but im really stressed about it

Peter: we havent talked for days, y/n, i think theres more going on than what youre telling me

Y/N: what? of course not wtf

Peter: im coming over anyways, ill be there soon

Y/N: why?

Peter: we have to talk.

Your heart dropped down to your stomach. Those words were what you had been dreading, and all focus you had managed to gather vanished into thin air. You knew you had been neglecting Peter's affections. Even if every fiber in your being wanted to make him the single most important thing in your life.

It had been almost a week since you'd seen him, and honestly, it was painful in the most innocent way.

But Peter didn't have to worry like you did. He was gifted and already had his entire life ahead of him, set in the middle of Stark industries. But you never asked for a handout, you never asked for help. Even though you knew he was the smartest young man around. You were proud to be his, and the thought of that disappearing was more detrimental to you that failing your upcoming exam.

Y/N: ok, front door is open

Tears were rolling down your cheeks at this point. You had been with Peter for over a year and had gone without seeing him for longer, but he was right. This time was different. This was the third date you had canceled without wanting to, but sometimes apologizing wasn't enough. Peter deserved a lengthy explanation of what you were really going through.

You were so used to holding back your emotions, that times like this were an occasional reoccurrence. You had always been so afraid of unloading your burdens onto others that you still sometimes forgot that having a boyfriend came with that perk. He was still going to love and cherish you if you asked for help and advice. Hell, you needed to realize that he wanted to.

That was a factor of why you were so in love with Peter. He always listened, and sometimes, even push the truth out of you when he could tell you needed it.

"You're already crying, huh." A sad smile was on Peter's face as he opened the door. His sudden appearance startled you, and you managed to chuckle despite the circumstances.

"You know me." You sniffled, immediately embarrassed by the state he had caught you in. Instinctively, you brushed your hair to the side and dabbed the tears from under your eyes. You could feel the remnants of Make-up drying to your skin.

"I didn't mean to ruin your study-"

"But we need to talk." You finished, shoving your school supplies to the edge of the bed. You made enough room, so he was able to sit comfortably.

Slightly embarrassed, you kept your gaze averted as best as you could. Just Peter's presence made your heart flutter, and a part of you was trying to prepare for the worst. You might really lose him this time. And for what? Yes, school was incredibly important, so, so important. But so was Peter, and you needed to find a balance.

Your silence was enough to beckon Peter's thoughts into the open.

"I just need to make sure you're still serious… about us." His voice was soft as if it was struggling to stay neutral.

Finally, gaining the courage to look at him, you locked eyes. Peter's gaze was heavy and forthcoming, and it took all of your willpower to swallow the knot in your throat.

"Of course, I am." The conviction was entirely evident in your tone. So much so, that Peter fell silent. His accusations seemed to die in his throat, but he knew that if he didn't get them out now, they would creep back to him later.

"It's hard to tell sometimes," Peter muttered, unable to gaze at your confused expression. You looked so hurt.

Your silence beckoned him to continue.

"I haven't properly talked with you in a week. You've canceled our last three dates… it seems like you never want to hang out with me anymore."

Peter winced. He was a grown man, and he sounded like a child. Yet, he had let so many things slide, hoping you would come around, hoping you would make it up to him. Perhaps he had been selfish to only think of himself in the relationship. He failed to realize that maybe in attempts to please him, you were putting your own future on the line. 

"I know you're going through a lot, but you can't even seem to talk about it." Peter's shoulders felt tense, his eyebrows knitting together in an agitated expression. His leg was bouncing up and down uncontrollably. He looked like he was about to burst.

"I'm sorry." You said, trying to swallow the knot in your throat. Pausing, you tried to gather your thoughts into cohesive sentences that would soothe his anxious mind.

"There's nobody else, right?" He suddenly blurted, actually turning his head to look at you. Insecurity was glazed in his eyes for the first time.

"Why would you even think that?" You said, startled. The question felt as if he had shoved your head underwater and held it there just long enough for you to choke on the liquid.

His expression was blank for the first time. Vulnerability at its finest. "My life isn't perfect, you know. I overthink just like you. I need reassurance."

Peter was so calm, so calm that it worried you. Though you were already afraid of how this conversation would go, it hurt you to realize that this conversation was the result of your actions. You failed to make Peter feel special like you had promised. Like he had promised you. Relationships go both ways, and for the last couple of weeks, it had only gone one.

"No, Peter. There will never be anyone else."

He sighed, relaxing slightly. "You've been acting weird. I don't really know what to think."

"I told you a billion times, I'm studying. After work, that's literally all I do. And I need to focus."

"I feel like there's more. It feels weird to not see a text from you when I wake up. It feels weird to not hear your voice. I don't… I don't like it, Y/N. Even if that's selfish."

And selfish it was. Peter expected you to be transparent while he was hiding possibly the biggest secret in the world. Maybe that was why he was so worried about how much you loved him. Peter wanted to be honest with you. He wanted you to know he was spider-man, but right now, he still couldn't bring himself to. Perhaps he was looking for a reason.

"I'm sorry." Your hands were clenched in your lap. "I've never had to deal with this before. Everything is so new, even if we've been together for a year. I've never cared about anyone like this, and I can't manage my time."

Peter paused as if every word in this conversation pained him to no end. His eyes were glossy, his mind unclear. He was desperately trying to understand why you were isolating himself. "You can't make any time for me?"

"That's the thing, I can't focus on anything else when I'm with you." Your lip quivered. "And that's a problem."

"It's not for me." He said quickly. "I make time for you, and you don't for me. And you need to tell me why."

You glanced away, embarrassed. No matter what you said, the reason wouldn't be good enough. You were just a bad girlfriend.

Peter reached his hand out and pulled you to him. You rested your chin upon his shoulder, soothed to feel his warmth once again. "You need to tell me, Y/N. We've made it work for this long, and all of a sudden, it stopped."

Your body started to shake. Trying to muffle your sob, you brought your hand to your mouth. It was all too much.

"-You have your whole life together, Peter. I have nothing, I still have to work for it. I'm not as smart as you, I'm-"and that's when the tears started to flow. It was a literal flood, tear after tear poured over your eyelids until they were bloodshot, until pressure pounded through your head.

Before you could finish, your face was pressed against Peter's chest. He held you tightly, his sweatshirt dabbing up your tears of sorrow. You gripped tightly to him, releasing the stress that had been building up inside of you for the last two weeks.

He did not know what else to do. Showing you that he loved you seemed like the most viable option. Sometimes all you had to do was listen, and that was enough.

"I got a bad grade on my midterm exam, one that I didn't study for because I spent my time with you—I thought-"

"Shh." He stroked your hair, understanding what you meant without a complete explanation.

"I work so hard, and it's never enough-"

"It's always enough, Y/N."

"I got so caught up in it that I neglected you in the process. So much so that you thought I was cheating on you" you inhaled sharply, whimpering against him, so many different emotions swirling through your mind. "You're the best thing in my life, and I put you second…"

"Look at me, Y/N." He cupped your cheeks in a swift movement, forcing you to look at him through tear-filled eyes. "You are enough for me. That's why I bothered to have this conversation with you. That's why I care." He pressed his lips against your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Peter." You tilted your head up to kiss him wholly on the lips. You were a mess, but Peter had always told you that you looked beautiful when you cried.

"Rosy cheeks." He whispered, patting down your hair, inhaling your scent, and appreciating the beauty you constantly radiated.

You chuckled, sniffling loudly. Peter always said that after you had a successful mental break down, your cheeks brandished a rosy shade.

"Shut up." You whispered, tightening your grip around his torso. His back fell against your bed, and you shifted to lay completely on top of him. The firmness of his chest underneath you caused instant relaxation, instant relief. Maybe, just maybe, being in his presence was enough to get rid of the stress from everyday life.

The corners of your eyes were raw and red, yet it complimented your shade. Peter vowed from the moment he had met you, that he would never let any harm come to you. The last thing Peter had ever expected was that he might be the reason, instead of the world.

At least, for now, he had the power to fix it. You were the love of his life, and he had never felt so gratified to be in anyone else's presence.

Peter's fingers traced light, small circles on your back. He could hear your heartbeat slow. The softness of your finger against his was enough to help him close his eyes.

He was at peace, real peace for the first time in weeks.

"We need to remind ourselves to talk about shit more." You mumbled sleepy, almost inaudible. "So this doesn't happen again, because I hate it."

"Me too, babe." He whispered, content with watching you rise and fall in sync with his breathing.

"I couldn't bear to lose you."

[mrmallardsmobileposts]

How I Think The Star Wars Sequels Should Have Happened: Another MrMallard Nerd Moment

(MAJOR SPOILERS)

The Force Awakens:

fine jumping on point. Not perfect, but honestly a return to form in regards to making Star Wars movies fun again. Keep TFA as-is, warts and all - the trick is paying this movie off by the end.

The Last Jedi:

Less faux-Guardians of the Galaxy humor. That's not to say "no humor", I honestly thought Luke Skywalker had the best jokes of the movie, but less "your mother" and less "Finn wakes up from a coma and drips IV fluid everywhere, Wakka Wakka!". The former is corny, the latter is undignified and actively cheapens character development from the prior movie.

Cut the stampeding race-beasts, because it reeks of Disney's "fuck you we're Disney" money, but keep Canto Bight as a whole. The alien designs are charming - it's a nice moment of fanservice, along with the Jizz music. It also serves as a nice character-building exercise for Rose and Finn.

Ultimately, I think it might have been a better idea to kill off Leia in this movie considering Carrie Fisher's passing. I don't dislike her in this movie, and I honestly enjoyed the scene of her in space - my first thought was "holy fuck she can use the force!!" - but I think it would have been better for her to pass on in this movie, both logistically and for her character. That, or they should have scaled back her cobbled together Frankenstein-performance of CGI, cut lines and recontextualised footage in TRoS. Either/or.

Keep the mutiny plot with Poe, but something has to be done with how they treat the secret plan. The resolution to the mutiny plot was the thing that bothered me the most with TLJ, but it's pretty much the only thing for Poe to do in the movie and it adds conflict to the main story I guess. Making the Holdo/Poe seem a little less personal might help? idk. honestly a lot of this storyline felt forced.

Don't try and resolve Rey's backstory in this movie. Keep it as a running mystery. I understand that they were trying to go for a clever subversion in this movie, but it just added another stupid thing that TRoS bad to address and it honestly kinda ruins the trilogy.

Honestly, either cut Crait entirely and make it the beginning of the next movie - bc the movie's already two hours long and it feels like the final battle stretches the movie out beyond its natural ending point - or shorten it a bit and make it a bit more functional. It looks cool, but at that point it's like tacking an extra mile onto a marathon.

Also, don't shoehorn a failed heroic sacrifice with Finn imo. That, or give him more screentime and character development to build up to that moment. Post-TFA, he's really half-baked, and I honestly think he should have been more of a focal character next to Rey. The heroic sacrifice felt like it came out of nowhere, and by thwarting it and adding the Rose Tico scene, it felt like a waste of time even having it in there. It comes and goes with no fanfare.

Honestly, I would have preferred if Luke stayed alive at the end of the movie. I think his death was a movie too soon. Saying that, I think they nailed his death in this movie - if they were gonna kill him off, I think they did it right. Also, don't kill off Snoke. It's a cool scene, but it fucks up the next movie.

Re: Rose Tico - she's not my favorite part of the movie, but I don't actively hate her and I think the response to her character that Kelly Marie Tran had to face was absolutely disgusting. I think her plotline with Finn was a little underbaked, and that scene at the end where she prevents his heroic sacrifice just kinda sidelines them both. I think making her a navigator would have helped her character in TLJ and TRoS.

In short: trim a few excessive CGI scenes, cut a few cornball jokes out, play around with the characterisation and tone of the mutiny plot, dignify Finn's character instead of reducing him to a rehashed coward, comedic relief character and pointless failed Rebel martyr, and maybe keep Luke Skywalker alive at the end. Bring the movie in at around 2 hours max.

Keep Luke Skywalker as-is, bc his character is a highlight of TLJ.

The Rise of Skywalker:

Kill off Luke Skywalker in this movie. Seriously, just cut and paste his death at the end of TLJ into this movie. Work him into a reduced role when Rey junks her ship, like the force projection messed him up and he doesn't have much longer to live, and have him help her when she returns to his island planet instead of adding a phoned-in Force Ghost appearance. Maybe have her there when he passes?

Reduce Leia's role in this movie instead of stitching together a Frankenstein's Monster of a performance. Not to be morbid by that reference - it's just that everything she says feels so stilted and wrong, like you can definitely tell they've thrown all the scraps they have left into her character in this movie. It doesn't feel natural or respectful for her character to spit out non-sequiters for the characters to respond to in an equally unnatural sort of way.

Honestly? Canonise Fey/Rinn, however you want to portmanteau Rey and Finn's ship name. If you give Finn more of a character arc in TLJ instead of side-lining him, and establish that he and Rey are particularly close - which they are IMO - and then pay off that "I have something to tell you" beat with a confession of love. This isn't a stab against Reylo, though I've certainly had words to say about Reylo, I just think Finn/Rey is a more wholesome ship and I prefer this dynamic to the fuckin dark side/light side paradigm of Reylo. I Just don't care for it. Kylo Ren's conflicted nature doesn't have to resolve in romance. Gimme Rey/Finn.

Snoke gets offed by Palpatine. There's no breeding vat for Snokes, but if the movie wants to suggest that he's still just a puppet or a creation, that's fine. That, or build Snoke up as the bad guy, and either follow through on that or have Palpatine be a twist halfway through the movie.

Maybe make Palpatine a Sith Ghost? They do exist to some degree. Or have him stuck in some other limbo that requires him to hijack Rey. Anything is better than that "if I do this you do this, but then I'll do this so you would have to do this, but really I'm going to do this so either way my entire plan was completely unnecessary lmao" clusterfuck where he's a living corpse impaled on a robot arm.

Cut out the macguffins, or make them feel less inconsequential. Okay, so the dagger storyline involves rebooting C3PO. It has stakes and gravitas to a degree. Cool - keep that. What the fuck is up with the wayfinders though? Why are there only two? Why do they need to be so convoluted?

Maybe have Maz Kanata talk about Luke's lightsaber, and/or have her involved in finding a way to Palpatine. It would pay off her appearance in TFA and explain her importance to Luke.

By making Rose Tico a great navigator in TLJ, her role on the team can be expanded in TRoS and she can do like star charts and stuff for all the different worlds they're going to - she can come along instead of being fucked over by JJ Abrams in this movie. She can even help with Maz Kanata's wayfinding plan. In short - make her a part of the team.

Honestly, fuck the Knights of Ren right off. They're a waste of time. That, or set them up in TLJ - hell, have one of them on Canto Bight and another one on Snoke's ship. Maybe even retcon Phasma into being a Knight of Ren. Anything but bringing them back as a mook squad in this movie, with no weight or character.

Honestly? Show Palpatine surviving the Death Star crash. The retcon is all the more painful for being completely and utterly unexplained. Doesn't matter if you have to touch the source material to do it, CG in a force shield as Palpatine falls through fire and have him hobble to a life support pod that takes him to where he is in TRoS. Literally anything is better than "Somehow, Palpatine returned".

Either cut the healing powers, or leave them in sans Reylo kiss.

In short: reduce Leia's role instead of using cut content and a CGI puppet to stitch together a performance, leave Luke alive until this movie, kill Snoke in this movie OR have him be the big bad, make Finn/Rey a thing over Reylo - again, no hate, I just prefer this pairing over Reylo - write more details about Palpatine's survival, either put some Knights of Ren into TLJ or don't have them at all, get rid of the Wayfinder macguffins and/or work Maz Kanata and "master navigator" Rose Tico into a plot to find Palpatine.

At the end of the day, there should have been a planning committee for the Star Wars story, not for the merchandise. You can see from how the sequel trilogy crammed out merchandise that Disney was clearly asking for marketable merch, but the story is a trainwreck - there was a Star Wars committee, just not where the property needed one.

The sequel trilogy was a worthwhile experiment imo - it didn't pay off, but it was worth doing just to see if it was possible. But even then, I would prefer three decent movies over a couple of experimental trainwrecks retroactively ruining one decent movie.

This post was mostly trying to work with what the movies already have, though by TRoS you really do have to start overhauling shit to make it work. In my eyes, the longest that these movies should run is two hours - any more than that is a slog, especially when the movie feels like it takes two hours. The Last Jedi felt like two and a half hours. The Rise of Skywalker felt like a two hour movie crammed into 80 minutes, despite the fact it was longer than 2 hours. The best way to make these movies more watchable is to make them shorter - cut out superfluous money shot scenes like the Canto Bight chase, have more efficient scenes to balance out the stylish scenes. The sequel trilogy is short on efficiency imo, and without a movie where it feels like progress is being made, the style doesn't work.

So tweak some things to make each movie more efficient.

[vacuousauto]

📃🎥🏳‍🌈

tysm for tha ask molli!! ill talk abt kny here bc its takin over my life rn qwq

spoilers ahead 4 tha whole series!!

📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc?

kny is a manga w an anime adaptation thats had 1 season so far n a movies bein made of my fav arc!! (also this plot desc may not b perfect bc i havent read it in like 4 months)

its abt a boy called tanjirou whos whole family got killed by a demon, n his sister nezuko got turned into a demon (which fun fact: in kimetsu theyre man-eatin creatures w different powers called blood demon arts!!)

hes sent by giyuu (a demon slayer!) 2 join tha demon slayer corps so hell become stronger n mayb get a little revenge. as a treat (and also mayb find a way 2 turn nezuko human?)

as he trains he learns how 2 do water breathing (a sword technique taught by him n giyuus mentor, urokodaki) n his final challenge is 2 cut a massive boulder in half w his sword

its real hard 4 him (as u can imagine) so 2 kids in fox masks named sabito n makomo come n help him, but after tanjirou cuts tha rock n tells urokodaki abt him its revealed theyre dead???

@ final selection (basically a demon slayer entrance exam where u win by surviving on a demon-infested mountain 4 seven days) he learns from a real fucked up demon that hes exclusively been targetin urokodakis students n that not even sabito could slice its neck open?? (thats how him n makomo died)

after tanjirou kills tha demon n basically puts all tha water breath students’ souls @ peace he passes tha exam!! its been 7 days n now he gets his nichirin blade (the only kinda sword that can kill a demon, tha only 2 ways they can die is thru a slice 2 tha neck from a nichirin blade n sunlight)

turns out nezuko was turned by the strongest demon of all, michael jackson muzan kibutsuji, n so he sets out 2 hunt him down n try 2 kill him

but he aint so strong @ first so he needs 2 try 2 take down tha twelve kizuki first (the 12 strongest demons besides muzan)

another reason he needs 2 kill tha kizuki is 2 gather their blood for a demon named tamayo n her assistant yushirou!! tamayo can make a cure if tanjirou can gather blood samples 4 her (the stronger tha demon tha more of muzans blood they have so hes gonna have 2 aim high)

he meets a bunch more slayers along tha way, includin zenitsu (a scaredy cat thunder breath user who basically simps 4 nezuko n becomes a badass when hes asleep) n inosuke (a rowdy beast breath user who wears a boar mask n lived in tha mountains)

after lower moon 5 gets killed by giyuu, nezuko unlocks her blood demon art (exploding blood!) n tanjirou remembers how 2 use tha hinokami kagura, him n nezuko get captured by a slayer called shinobu qwq

turns out she n giyuu are 2 of the nine hashira, the strongest of all tha demon slayers!! but theyre all havin a debate over whether they should kill tanjirou n nezuko 4 goin against corps rules n travelin w a demon

eventually oyakata-sama (tha leader of tha slayer corps) comes in n tells em its ok, urokodaki sent a letter explainin that nezukos never hurt anyone n if she does, tanjirou giyuu n urokodaki all have 2 die basically

oyakata-sama also tells em that tanjirous met kibutsuji, at which everyone goes feral at (and understandably, none of em had ever even seen him before hes that elusive)

so they get 2 live bc theyre like. tha best hope the slayers have @ findin kibutsuji

the rest of the hashira are kyoujurou (flame), muichirou (mist), mitsuri (love), obanai (serpent), gyoumei (stone), tengen (sound) n sanemi (wind)

theres also kanao (shinobus pupil, flower breathing) n genya (sanemis brother, eats demons 2 gain power n basically become a demon temporarily, also He Has A Gun)

ive gone on a lot here so ill try 2 keep it brief now but i HAVE 2 explain infinity train or ill die (slight suicide tw but no one actually does that outside of dreams)

BASICALLY the lower 6 moons have a meetin @ kibutsujis infinity castle, muzan decides 2 dismantle tha lower moons bc they keep fuckign dying

all of em get their shit wrecked except enmu, who avoided death by usin muzans “dont tell me what 2 do” rule against him n beggin 4 death basically

so he gets a metric fuckton o blood n goes off 2 kill tanjirou

turns out he keeps killin people on his train n kyos gone 2 investigate!! the main gang (the kamaboko gang as the fandom calls it) are there too bc tanjirou needs 2 investigate what hinokami kagura really is (turns out its sun breathing, the og form and ones that only folks w the same mark on his forehead can use) n if anyone knows abt the alleged “fire breathing” as they know it rn its the fire hashira!!

so they get on tha train (inosukes lovin tha experience bc hes Literally Never Seen A Train Before) n kyo basically adopts the whole group

they take some tickets n promptly fall asleep HERES WHERE ENMUS DEMON ART COMES INTO PLAY!!! DREAM MANIPULATION BABEYYY

BASICALLY he can make people fall asleep in a buncha ways (the mouths on his hands, his weird eye thingies, the tickets) n once thats happened he n his henchmen can access said dreams (he can even control em!!) n if they find tha “spiritual core” they can destroy it n essentially leave em as an empty shell thatll never wake up!! yaaaaaay /s

he fails bc tanjirou realises a way out n its by cuttin his own head off in his dream, eventually everyones awake again n tanjirou finds enmu on tha roof(?) of tha train

after a while he does manage 2 decapitate him but surprise!!! hes not dead

turns out he literally FUSED WITH THA TRAIN n is plannin on eatin everyone inside, includin kyo n the gang

but he doesnt bc Main Protags Cant Die(tm) n dies while complainin that he wants a redo (sorry enmu, ily but u cant turn back time unless ur yoshikage kira)

also sidenote enmus tha only kizuki w/o a canon backstory as far as i can remember and????? H??

ANYWHO after that whole debacle basketball akaza (UPPER moon 3) shows himself!!! FUCK

n after all that struggle against the 8th strongest demon of all time now they gotta deal w tha 4th strongest????? damn,

so yeah it goes how youd imagine, its a tough fuckin battle n its Not Fun but it turns out kyoujurou fucking dies n i genuinely didnt realise until he said “kamado my boy, lets have one final chat” bc i was so in denial n lets face it i still am now

long story short idk how im gonna manage 2 get thru the movie w/o breakin down @ the end

anyway after that horrible horrible time tanjirou goes n meets senjurou, kyos little bro, who gives him kyos sword guard thing (its shaped like a flame!!) n i havent read it in a while so i cant FULLY remember but i think this is where he learns abt sun breathing??

after that they end up goin on a mission in tha red light district w tengen, his 3 wives are there 2 serve as spies (theyre kunoichi, which i think are ninjas of some kind??) n the boys have 2 find em

they do manage 2 find em but not after runnin into upper moon 6, who are 2 twins called daki n gyuutarou

after that fight tengen has 2 retire bc he got fucked up p bad from that fight n he wants 2 make sure tha girls are ok above all

so after that arc tanjirou n nezuko go down 2 tha swordsmith village (bc the guy who usually makes his swords is fuckin tired of repairin it) n run into mitsuri!! she tells tan that theres smth in tha forest thatll make him stronger

ngl this is tha arc i remember tha least abt so this desc is prolly SO inaccurate despite havin 2 o my favs in it)

but muichirou shows himself too n hes mean 2 tanjirou >:/ (he does get nicer eventually but 2 him specifically)

a 10 y/o kid named kotetsu shows tan this 6 armed trainin robot called yoriichi type 0 (based on tha first slayer 2 use sun breathin) n tanjirou breaks it by accident qwq

but he keeps trainin thanks 2 kotetsu but tha kids a harsh fuckin trainer ill tell u that

anyway so we have a whole buncha demons 2 deal w here except most of em are 1 demon split into different parts

hantengu n gyokko, upper moons 4 n 5 respectively!! mui deals w gyokko while mitsuri genya nezuko n tanjirou deal w hantengu

in these fights mitsuri n mui get their demon slayer marks!! these are marks that they get when they surpass the limits of tha human body n they look like tha marks demons have (muis looks like clouds on his cheeks n mitsuris is 2 hearts on her collarbone)

next up is tha hashira trainin arc!! everyone gets trained by each of tha hashira 2 try n unlock their slayer marks

each have a dif trainin style that focuses on dif stuff (for example gyoumei focuses a lot on physical strength n stuff like that, obanai is more abt accuracy) n this is where giyuus backstory gets revealed bc he doesnt think hes worthy o bein a hashira :((

basically him n sabito were absolute besties!! they both trained together n sabito basically told him not 2 die ever

but it all goes wrong @ final selection- sabito manages 2 take down every demon on tha mountain but one of em, that bein the hand demon that exclusively targets water breathers (theyre easy 2 distinguish bc of their blue haoris n custom made fox masks)

he manages 2 save giyuu n everyone else from tha selection except 4 himself (this is why giyuus haori is like that- its made from his sister n sabitos haoris)

giyuu blames himself 4 both of their deaths bc he failed 2 protect em n says that he doesnt deserve 2 have passed tha selection let alone b a hashira,, but tanjirou convinces him otherwise!! ^^

then one day while giyuus trainin w sanemi disaster hits- oyakata-sama, his wife n two of their kids just died

the 2nd to last arc- the infinity castle!! thingsre gettin real n muzans revealed himself

in tha infinity castle EVERYONES there but can u really blame em theyve been workin up 2 this 4 millenia

shinobu runs into upper moon 2- douma, aka the bastard that killed her sister as well as inosukes mum

she is. justifiably pissed. n she gives it her all but he kills her :(( douma ily but also FUCK YOU.

so perfect timing!!! heres her adopted sister!! as well as inosuke!!!! revenge battle time >:0

in the end shinobus poison is what kills him- her whole body is filled w wisteria poison thats deadly 2 a demon so he basically consumed her whole body weight in poison rip

but ofc word gets out via messenger crow that shes dead n its just a real sad moment tbh :( but theres no time 4 that bc giyuu n tanjirou just ran into akaza >:((

so tanjirous pissed as hell now n w their combined efforts they take down tha basketball lookin bastard (bastardball??)

meanwhile obanai n mitsuri (n yushirou iirc?? he uses his own art 2 control her @ some point tho i cant remember when) deal w tha new upper moon 4 (nakime, whos also shiftin tha rooms around w her blood art n makin tha fight super fuckign annoyin tbh) n muichirou genya sanemi n gyoumei deal w kokushibou (upper moon 1, also tha original sun breathers twin brother so he gets moon breathin >:3)

mitsuri n obanai fake their deaths w help from yushirou n muzan falls 4 it, which comes in handy later ;3

zenitsu also deals w his former bully, upper moon 6 aka kaigaku aka dickhead supreme who if zenitsu didnt kill i would personally kill w my bare hands

so after everyones taken down all thats left is muzan >:( muzan kills tamayo real early on n everyones goin all out on him

we also learn that he has multiple brains n hearts in his body eww

also the hashira have their marks now!! but all but sanemi n giyuu get killed n giyuu loses his arm :((((

genya also gets killed noo

eventually ofc the battle is won thanks 2 everyones relief, it took for fuckin ever bc the only way muzan can die is tha sun so they had 2 kill time n keep him out in tha sun 4 a long time

also nezukos been cured!! shes a human!! n shes comin 2 help!!

but OH GOD OH FUCK MUZAN TURNED TANJIROU INTO A DEMON N GIYUUS CRYIN N INOSUKES CRYIN THRU HIS MASK N ITS GOIN SO FUCKING WRONG but he gets tha will 2 turn back bc Fuck You Muzan, The Power Of Friendship Defeats All

the 2nd to last chapter is tha happy endin, the kamaboko gang visit tanjirou n nezukos house, giyuu cuts his hair n SMILES n tha hashira have their final meetin w oyakata-samas son kiriya

i cried readin it ngl their sufferin is finally over...... it cost a lot but now theres no more demons,,,

chapter 205 is set in tha modern day! kanao n tanjirous descendants are shown, as well as zenitsu n nezukos

everyone who died/never had kids get reincarnated (for example gyoumei is now a daycare worker, kyos reincarnation toujurou is besties w one o tans descendants n giyuu (giichi) is friends w sabito again!! makomos their friend too!!

ALSO KIRIYA IS STILL ALIVE hes the oldest man in japan!! this is huge bc the ubayashiki family dont usually live past 30 bc of a curse that was put on em when they had muzan

yushirou is still alive too but thats bc hes a demon n he paints tamayo for a living qwq

it just made me cry so hard bc waaah,,, everyone gets 2 live a demon-free life now,,, anyway typin this took me like an hour im sorry mint (as well as anyone else who read this)

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

tha infinity train arc as a whole tbh??? its basically enmu n kyoujurous big moment and. i care them sm. i cant wait 4 tha movie qwq except 4 their deaths ofc

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

i have a lotta headcanons really!! outta my f/os favs tho i hc:

giyuu is trans bi n autistic

kyo is gay n has adhd

muichirou is nb n pan

mitsuri is pan

douma is gay

enmu is nb pan n autistic