#bc they haven't been around long enough to see much like this happen before

[acerikus]

Why are there still people who KNOW it was confirmed a fan project still trying to hype up the UZ Inu stuff as genuine and acting like their hidden 'hints' are real lore 😭 I wanna go over some points as to why the arguments I've seen don't really hold up at this point.

Trying to get people excited about 'real' content despite it confirmed as not so isn't... A great idea. Yes, the undertale support email that got back and said it was fanmade wasn't Toby himself, but y'all realise he has people from fangamer who playtest his games, right? Plus they know him better than any of us could - they're gonna know when a giant dump of enough music to make up an entire chapter doesn't feel like it's truly his (or if they've heard any of his REAL tracks that world prove these aren't real, such as the genuine themes for Tenna or Toriel).

Yeah, there's lots of toby-ish parts about them but... Some of y'all really need to listen to more utdr fangame osts and fan music/fan music edits in general. People are VERY good at this. Y'all can explain to me why Jockington's theme would make canon sense to contain Ghost Fight though, looking forward to that explanation.

U.Z. Inu being an actual psuedonym he's used in the past proves nothing either - have y'all never heard of the countless fake Toby Fox accounts across a ton of different social media? They just chose a more vague one - most likely bc this is SoundCloud and they'd rather not mislead people THAT badly since Toby himself shares his stuff there and they don't wanna get in trouble or make things difficult for him.

The other argument I've seen is that 'He probably just really wants to share his music! He's been waiting so long!' this man has the patience of a saint. He hid every scrap of deltarune from us for YEARS - and besides, he showed us new music on the ut anniversary and the sweepstakes anyway - more than I expected tbh! He'd have no reason to 'leak' that much music, and ESPECIALLY not to toss out random lore hints with it. Again, that's what the sweepstakes were for. I'd say the closest thing to this he really did was the deltarune website in 2017 - but that was a single page with one sentence and no music. Again, this U.Z. Inu situation isn't his style.

Tldr; it's clearly a fan project, and that's okay! Nothing wrong with appreciating fan works for what they are - that's what fandom is about after all. Whoever's behind this deserves some appreciation for their work (bc it all sounds rad as hell!), and I hope they drop their social media for us to go check out once they've finished playing their little game.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I like your attitude and resilience (I'm a weak man, and every toxic anti-buddie/anti-buddie-shippers/pro bucktommy idea just hits me straight in the heart).

I don't understand how people can suddenly start hating Buddie because of "crazy fans", but still be smitten by bucktommy despite of how crazy some of their fans are.

And I really hate that they have this ammunition (their ship still going, Eddie happening to be hetero) to bully us with (haven't Buddie shippers been through enough of hate these past six years? And who knows how much more of it we'll have to yet to go through...)

Ah, sorry for the rant😅

The long ass message anon from lenaboskow's asks xD

🏝️

awwwww, thank you anon 😭 <3

if i’m being honest, the public resilience comes from years of being bullied and ridiculed, so at this point hate (especially anonymous hate) just rolls off my back bc atp it’s just par for the course with these people.

i definitely understand the toxicity hitting you right in the feels though. i have mentioned before but i have really bad anxiety and depression, and there are times when if i haven’t taken my meds i will start to spiral over the smallest things (just ask @lenaboskow who has been present for a lot of this unmedicated spiraling)… so i definitely understand that some of the toxicity and hate can be hard. especially when the writers continued to give them ammunition after seeing what what was happening on twitter during the premiere period of season 7.

I’ve been a buddie shipper since s2. I have put up with seeing ridicule and disrespect from the fandom for shipping buddie for years (granted i only started getting actively involved in the fandom very recently, i still kept up with cast interviews, articles, etc. and could see plenty of it there) so i understand it can be hard seeing so many people that once were hardcore buddie shippers suddenly turning into violently hateful stan accounts for this new ship is jarring and disappointing… i have seen so many of my favorite fic writers turn into anti-buddie-eddie-bashing enthusiasts seemingly overnight and it’s hard to see.

that being said, i still have not lost hope. abc and tptb see what is happening— they see screeners being harassed for talking about buddie, they see buddie shippers getting doxxed and getting death threats, they see lou stirring the pot (though thankfully it seems something has been done about that)

these creators know that stoking this kind of fandom behavior is not okay- they know that it’s a bad idea to reward toxicity and hate. they have also been the ones actively laying the groundwork for buddie for six years. a lot of the writers actually care about buck AND eddie, rather than just buck (regardless of whatever is going on in kristen reidel’s cesspool of a creative mind), and we know that queer eddie has been discussed at length before to the point where the queer storyline of s7 was almost eddie’s. these writers see what we see, the actors see what we see, tim minear sees what we see.

i don’t know what they have in store for next season, but regardless of whether or not we get buddie canon, i am very optimistic that the pilot won’t be around much longer, especially after the drama and toxicity he has stirred up within the fandom, bc the last thing a network tv show wants is bad press, and that situation has the potential to boil over into something much worse if they didn’t put a stop to it immediately.

anyway, anon, never apologize for sending a long ask, i love to yap and i love being an outlet for people to vent if they need to <3 i believe in you, that you will be able to withstand this blip in the fandom; as someone who’s had to go through similar situations in other fandoms it will not matter a year from now once everyone has moved on. unfortunately we are caught upnin the novelty of it, but once it either peters out or becomes a sort of “new normal” (which i hope it is the former and not the latter) it will be so much easier to bear with.

i hope you have a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening, sweet anon 💕💕

[skitskatdacat63]

Tysm for the tags @fernando-jpg and @rubywritten !!!!

F1 Asks:

Who is your favorite driver?

Fernando and Seb! They come as a pair. Do not seperate :)

Do you have any other favorite drivers?

Yep! But mostly retired drivers </3 I love Mark and Jense! And then for current drivers, I like Oscar, and Max a bit as well(I can't help but feel loyal to him bcs he was my first fav)

Who is your least favorite driver?

I dislike being a hater on main but....#3 and #4. Also tbh I feel neutral to dislike about most current drivers, other than my 3 guys, so!

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

I'm mostly driver motivated, I think I'd follow Fernando anywhere, and probably Oscar too. I like and support teams as well but mostly just because my guy is there! It's like, I love Aston, right? They support Fernando, they're willing to do so much for him, they love him, the vibe is really good. But if he decided to blow up Aston tomorrow, I'd be like "I'm right there with you!!"

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?

+ HOWEVER! I am an RBR devotee. Like it's not even that much about the drivers, I like Max a lot, but I think I'll always keep my eye on RBR as long as I'm into F1. I just love the history of the team and their vibe. My fav team of all time will always be RBR 2009-2013, just so special to me 🥹 Not that I was actually around for it but, the way they evolved from a team that was mostly there to bring fun to the paddock to one of the most successful teams of all time, as well as being a fucking energy drink company in a sport full of car companies, is just so cool and inspiring to me. And I love the red bull golden boys so much(Seb and Max beloveds!!!) And I also have an addiction to red bull....But I got into them first so I have a special connection, even if I don't root for them all the time. Them and their aesthetic makes me happy :) they are F1 to me :)

How long have you been into F1

Probably over a year and half by now? I wish I could say I've been into it longer but unfortunately I am an American shjfkgkg

What got you into F1?

I've mentioned this several times before but. I read some oneshot in my prev fandom that was an F1 AU. And I was just like, enthralled. The first time I read it, I had to keep looking up stuff, and I kept going back to it. And then I went on the author's blog, and saw they talked about DTS and how to get into F1. So I tried watching DTS and it was alright I guess. But there happened to be an actual race that same weekend, so I tuned in, and was so into it!! Ah man there's nothing like that first race tbh. I knew only one driver, Max, and I rooted so hard for him and he won 🥹 it was just fun back then not knowing enough to be stressed and having pure focus on one guy. I'm happy where I'm at now, but that first race was cool :,)

Do you enjoy fanfic/rpf?

Yes of course >:) I think I probably looked at the ao3 page for F1 before even watching my first race actually, it's very habitual for me when joining a fandom. I draw rpf and write my own AU lore stuff, and meta and all that. And I think I check the ao3 page at least once a day 😭 its an essential part of my fandom experience

How do you view new fans?

Hmmmm sometimes I feel like an old person, even though I haven't even been here that long. I think F1 has such a learning curve and barrier to entry compared to most fandoms. Like you have to learn so much about racing and the drivers as well until you feel like you actually have a good grasp imo. So I guess it's weird for me to see new fans bcs im like, oh god was I like that back then 😭 I'm happy to see new fans ofc!! But it's also like, good luck on your learning journey 🫡

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?

I am not a good leader, I think we'd crash and burn if I took over a team 😭 they'd be like "Catie! What should we do???" and I'd have a nervous breakdown. Go back in time to be TP for McLaren and be like, be careful who you invite to your garage at the Miami gp LMFAO

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?

Yes! My brother was into F1 before me(what a bastard for not getting me into it earlier.) Which is hilarious though because I pay for the F1TV account that he leeches off of. Like, damn who's the real F1 fan 🥱 I got my dad into it last season, and it was a very gradual process. He's a huge Fernando fan though, which is really fun, and sometimes he's much more positive abt the sport than me hahaha. He likes Fernando bcs they're both old men, and getting to see Fernando succeed last year is what pulled him into the sport. Some of my irl friends know of F1 but I don't think they watch all the races.

Are you open to talking to other fans/friends?

Of course!!!!! I am always desperate to talk to new people, feel free to hit me up always :D I will talk about anything F1, Fernando, Seb, Vettonso, etc related whenever :) I remember I got an ask a while ago last yr that's like "are you open to being friends/mutuals w strangers." It's like, um, yeah??? Its a lot of fun to be on here, I love making connections

Hmmmm ive seen a lot of people do this already so don't mind if I tag you and you've done it already aahh. But I will tag @suzuki-ecstar @sansebastinae @boisinnot @astronomical-light @thatdemonbish

[icechippies]

My first SPG fanfic! Like all first fanfics, bear with me! I wrote this on my phone which I'm not great at typing on, if people like this I might crosspost an edited version on Ao3.

Characters: mostly Zer0, Rabbit, and The Spine with a little bit of The Jon and mentions of Hatchworth and Upgrade.

Cw: war flashbacks ptsd, panic attack, minor mentions of blood and gore.

Hurt/comfort and angst, no ships just sibling love.

*Rabbit is referred to ONCE very briefly as a brother bc of canon timeline stuff. All other times she is she!

Upgrade is not on the front lines, she is helping out at a military hospital.

It's A Scary Scary World

Zer0 was different than his older siblings, not only in his hydraulic systems but in his life experience. He had never fought in any human war.

Sure he fought Becile's army way back in 1897 but he had only been a prototype and so many things had happened since then that it was only an unpleasant blip in the back of his hard drive.

He just couldn't grasp why The Spine occasionally woke from stasis begging some invisible force not to hurt his brothers*, why Upgrade didn't want to ever be in the same room as a needle and a spool of thread, why Hatchworth got nervous whenever a Walter Worker started coughing, or why The Jon would run and hide under anyone else's bed at the first crack of thunder and not come out until the storm was long gone, oil still on his face.

He did his best to help when he could, if he was the first one to hear The Spine he would bring him some water, if Upgrade was visiting he would make sure nothing was around that would upset her, there wasn't much he could do about Walter Workers coughing but he could tell Hatchworth that they were probably fine, and he had gotten quite good at finding The Jon and sit next to the bed until he was ready to come out.

Rabbit was the only one he didn't need to worry about. Rabbit was plucky and stubborn, she bounced back up after everything and so Zer0, without any evidence otherwise, assumed that she had managed to escape without the same mental wounds as the others.

It wasn't until early one morning, before the sun had even breached the horizon when Zer0 awoke from stasis thinking he heard something. He looked around his dark room, waiting to see if he would hear it again. Sure enough, a noise came through the wifi. It sounded almost like a wimper and was followed not too long after by very small sounding words.

"Spine? H-H-Hatchy? Jon? Commander? Anyone? Is anyone still here?"

Rabbit. That was definitely her. Zer0 quickly got up and went to her room, still dressed in his pajamas.

When he got there he found the door left ajar and The Spine already there standing vigil next to Rabbit's bed where she lay in a fitful stasis, brows furrowed and limbs twitching.

"She's having a nightmare." The Spine said simply, not looking at Zer0 as he walked in, "Nothing to worry about."

Rabbit screamed.

"What's going on?" The Jon entered the room, hair still mussed from stasis.

"She's having a nightmare." Zer0 copied.

"Where is she?"

Zer0 didn't understand the question, she was right there obviously. Even The Jon should be able to tell that.

"I'm not sure exactly, I haven't checked yet. If I had to guess I'd say somewhere in World War One."

The Jon nodded, uncharacteristicly solemn.

"Why don't you take Zer0 and go get some ice cream ready for when she wakes up?"

The Jon grabbed Zer0's arm and made to turn around but Zer0 stood his ground.

"I want to help."

"Zer0, this is a very personal thing and I don't think Rabbit would want you to see this."

"You can't answer that for her! And besides, if this happens again and you aren't home then what?"

The Spine thought for a moment before sighing, steam venting through his cheeks and rising to the ceiling.

"Jon, go get the ice cream."

"Does that mean yes?" Zer0 asked, his voice getting higher.

"It means get over here before I change my mind."

Zer0 excitedly took his place next to The Spine.

"Look at Rabbit, Zer0, she's scared, and she has every reason to be. Trust me, I know, I was there. So was Jon and Hatchy. Upgrade too. Whatever is going on in her head isn't pretty but you have to promise me that whatever you see you don't bring it up with her later. You can talk to me, ask me any question you want in private, but don't talk about this with Rabbit unless she brings it up first. Do you understand me?"

Zer0 nodded quickly, rather frightened of The Spine's serious tone.

He seemed satisfied with that response.

"Alright. Have you visited a dream through the wifi before?"

Zero nodded again.

________________

The first thing Zer0 noticed when he opened his eyes was how beautiful the sun looked filtering through the yellow-green fog in the pink early morning light.

Then he saw the trees. Dead burnt husks somehow still standing branchless from ground that had little more stability than peanut butter. Deep trenches cut through the landscape, some with branches or a single wooden board at the bottom and some with nothing more than mud and standing water.

Away from the trees and trenches was a clearing littered with craters and barbed wire. It was hard to smell anything under the sharp chemical smell of the fog that was still blowing in from the other side of the clearing but somehow the smell of gunpowder and rot prevailed.

"Spine? Rabbit?"

____________

Rabbit was wandering. She had been sent on a search and rescue mission after a nearby unit stopped responding to radio calls. The morning dew had the chlorine gas condensing on any exposed metal causing the acid to corrode the gears in her hands a little and making her neck tick. It didn't feel great to say the least but she was faring better than a human would.

She was on her way back from the search and rescue. The company she was sent to help was doing suprisingly well despite their radio silence which turned out to only be caused by water damage to the transmission equipment. There were casualties, definitely, but nobody alive was wounded to the point of needing evacuation. There were even enough gas masks to go around so the commander was simply having the soldiers wait it out.

Well that made her job a hell of a lot easier. Body retrieval was not her problem so she began the not too far walk back to the other side of the trenches. It should have been a simple one and a half miles. Barely over 30 minutes for a fairly quick robot that didn't need to take breaks.

She first noticed something was wrong about a mile down the road. She was walking into the wind but the gas persisted. She felt her gears turn nervously as she picked up speed, boiler running hotter and hydraulic pressure increasing as she realized she didn't hear anything but distant shells and gunshots, nothing close enough to be in the encampment. Panic started to rise in her chest.

Trenches all looked similar but these were definitely where her unit had been not three hours prior. Where her brothers had been.

"Spine? H-H-Hatchy? Jon? Commander? Anyone? Is anyone still here?"

She scoured the trenches, finding only bodies and footprints. She recognized some of the men, having made an effort to talk to them about anything and everything. She had a way of joking around that seemed to distract people from their worries, if not only for a little while.

Maybe they had been too distracted.

Above the trenches were tread marks in the mud. Tanks had traversed the no-man's-land and broken the line.

They bugged out. They bugged out without her. She was alone. Maybe behind enemy lines. They left her here. They just up and left her here. Here with the corpses and the mines and the barbed wire and the mud and the gas.

"SPINE!" she screamed into the yellow air. Only the wind and distant gunfire responded, "HATCHY" oil started to flow from her eyes as the panic well and truly set in, "J-J-JON?" she stumbled, shoes weighed down with mud and whatever gore was mixed in. "PLEASE SOMEONE, ANYONE, I D-D-DO-DO-DO-D-D-D-" her neck twitched as she tried to reboot her vocal system.

"Rabbit I'm right here."

"S-S-Spine?"

"Yes, and I'm right here on the other side of the trench. I'm so sorry, Rabbit, we didn't mean to leave you here, the tanks came so quickly we didn't have time."

"Where are you, I c-c-can't see you?"

"I'm about 20 steps to your left on the other side of the trench."

Finally she spotted him. Ignoring the creaking of her joints she ran and jumped the trench, careening into The Spine with the muffled clunk sound of metal hitting cloth hitting metal.

"It's ok, we're all ok." He hugged her close, wracked with guilt about what happened.

"How could you leave without me?" she sobbed, "How! Could! You! Leave! With! Out! Me!" she hammered her fists against The Spine's shoulders, only succeeding in bending the copper plates of her hands.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Rabbit." after some struggling he managed to catch her wrists. She immediately tried to escape, pulling down with her body weight rather than her strength. The Spine gently lowered her to the ground before letting go.

She clenched her eyes shut and looked away from him before opening them wide as dinner plates.

________

Zer0 had been trailing behind The Spine in their search for Rabbit. The Spine had found him soon after they arrived in the nightmare and they decided it would be best for Zer0 to just watch so that he would know what to do if this happened while The Spine wasn't around. Zer0 had agreed to this, he was rather frightened of the mist and was happy to let The Spine lead the way. Which he did with precise footsteps, like he had been here before.

He held back once they found Rabbit, keeping a fair ways behind The Spine so that he could see what was going on. Rabbit stuck out like a sore thumb against the Muddy terrain. Her pink sweat pants, green t shirt and bright purple hair made it very obvious that the Rabbit he knows is not who was on this battlefield in the first place.

He watched her run at Spine, he thought they were going to hug and everything would be ok, and it was for a second, but then she started to hit him.

That couldn't be good, did The Spine have it under control? Did he need help? He stepped forward a few steps, unsure of what to do.

He knew he messed up when Rabbit's eyes met his and went wide.

She buffered a moment as she processed before stumbling up at him. Zer0 flinched as she got closer, not wanting to be the receiving end of her anger like The Spine had been, but she stopped in front of him and grabbed him by the shoulders instead.

"Zer0 you can't be here! How did you get here? You need to go home NOW. We are b-b-behind enemy lines and more tanks and soldiers could be coming this way. Do you know where the u-u-u-un-unit is?" she was all but yelling in his face, Zer0 didn't know how to respond.

"Why aren't you in uniform?" she said a little quieter, "You d-d-don't have a uniform, do you?"

"we're here to bring you back, Rabbit." she nodded haltingly at that, hearing his words but generally confused. She looked back at The Spine only to get more confused.

"Why are you wearing fluffy dinosaur pajamas? You definitely should be in uniform."

"You aren't one to talk right now."

Rabbit looked down, "Well that's new." she put her hand to her head, expecting to feel a helmet but only feeling hair, "This isn't real, is it?"

"No, you're at home in bed. Zer0 and I are right next to you and Jon is downstairs getting ice cream."

"And Hatchy and Upgrade?"

"Out of town, but we can call them when you wake up."

Rabbit sighed and nodded, shutting her optical receptors as she returned from stasis mode.

_________________

Zer0 and The Spine were pulled upwards off the floor by an arm around each of their necks. Rabbit was awake.

She held them close and sobbed her eyes out, moreso out of relief and emotional exhaustion than anything else. Where would she be without her little brothers?

"Ahem." A noise like someone pronouncing the sound one makes when clearing their throat literally brought the three of their attentions to the brass bot sitting at the foot of the bed, "I brought ice cream." The Jon held out a large half eaten bowl of ice cream to Rabbit. She grabbed his wrist instead and pulled him into the group

"AAH my ice cream! I mean your ice cream!"

____________________

It took calling Hatchworth and Upgrade for Rabbit to calm down completely. She needed to hear their voices to convince herself they were ok.

While they talked on the phone, The Spine pulled Zer0 aside in the other room.

"We need to talk."

"I'm sorry The Spine. You were right, I probably shouldn't have been there."

"No. What? No that's not what I was getting at at all. You being there really helped, I have never seen her come to her senses that fast. Ever."

"Really?"

"Really. I was going to ask you if you would be willing to help next time this kind of thing happens."

"Next time?"

The Spine sighed, "I'm afraid they are getting more frequent again. I blame the wars and guns on the TV."

Zer0 nodded, that made sense.

"Can I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"That was a memory, right?"

"Yes, sometimes the files are corrupted but that one wasn't, that was almost exactly how it was back in 1917."

"Why was Rabbit alone on the battlefield?"

The Spine had well and truly hoped to avoid that question but Zer0 deserved to know the truth. He wasn't a new bot, he could handle it. He wrung his metal hands together and mentally prepared to tell the story.

"She went out early that morning to help a unit a few miles down the road who had gone completely radio silent. Very soon after she left Jon started to-to freak out, for lack of a better term. You know how he is, it's like he knows more than he should but not enough at the same time. Not long after that the gas started to flood the trenches, it makes the humans choke but it also kept us from seeing the tanks and the soldiers coming our way. Our commander told the troops to grab our gear and run."

The Spine looked distant, visual processors looking at nothing but memories in his own head.

"Not even I can stop a tank. I practically had to drag Jon away, he didn't want to leave without her. Hatchworth took the back, he managed to blow one up with that canon of his. I never told him that tanks have pilots inside. I still don't think he knows. They were shooting us in the back as we ran. At that point we were just shields, not very effective ones but still shields, bringing up the back of the unit." He shook his head, "After we reformed the line with new trenches about a mile back, I went with Jon to the unit Rabbit was supposed to be helping but they had been plowed through even worse than we had. They were slaughtered and Rabbit was nowhere to be found. It took us two days to find her but over a week for her to talk to me again."

Zer0 waited a moment to see if he would offer up any more details. He wasn't sure how to answer. This was a lot of information and he was still processing it. Instead he opted to simply give his big brother a hug.

"Thanks for letting me help."

[professorspork]

director's commentary sdau emerald scene

You know, I really should have seen this coming but I didn't.

Let's put it under a cut bc moderate spice and considerable length:

This scene went through more iterations and re-writes than the vast majority of its brethren.

I dug around in our chat history to find the exact moment we generated the idea, because this one wouldn't have happened without you. and you know what I learned?

it dates to mid-January 2023, which is literally before I started posting newsbees. this idea is OLD. it is some of the EARLIEST MATERIAL of sdau.

I told you I was reading this for fic research in the middle of an unrelated discussion about Emerald; you then joked that all you could think about was Emerald at the sex club giving vytal fic vibes, just bored out of her skull while people throw themselves at her, and I said I hadn't come up with a role for her yet.

you: emerald would try to go to the sex club after getting out of a toxic relationship the way blake did and then she'd be there for 15 minutes and nope the fuck out and run away me: which, actually-- she could be one of blake's one-off partners where after about 5 minutes blake's like "you are allowed to leave we really don't have to do this" and em's like OHTHANKGOD

I briefly considered a much crueler idea in which Blake witnessed Emerald and Cinder doing a scene together, but we quickly agreed that the original idea was the better one.

I haven't been able to find chat history about it, so I'm moderately certain that I didn't tell you about the fact that I'd decided to read poor Emerald for filth and give her the Mommy kink until I started showing you the scene in its original incarnation, in mid-July of 2023 (which has the benefit of showing just how long this project has taken me, lmao).

me: emerald. sweetheart. when you say mommy kink most people assume that means you wanna be coddled and not that you want to be negged. just. just saying me: emerald do you know what mothers are me: emerald

That first version of the scene differed in several keys ways from the final product, but the most crucial of those was that in the first go-around, Blake actually agreed to give Emerald her number. Em asked for it, and Blake said "Sure, I'd like that," and then the scene ended.

I sat on that for *checks time stamps* approximately 29 hours before I broke the news to you that, upon reflection, I didn't buy it; I just couldn't believe that Blake would be in a healthy enough place mentally to do that. the better and more accurate thing for the story would be for Blake to chicken out and then regret it, because she couldn't be for Em what Sun had been for her.

you: oh no why are you doing that it makes me sad me: because if blake is in a cool enough place to do that with em her actually exchanging numbers with yang doesn't hit as hard you: but now I'm so sad me: i mean it's still ME i'm sure i'll find a way for her to encounter em again before the end

(hmmm. Did I do that in the end? I SUPPOSE WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND FIND OUT, DEAR READERS.)

from there, once I'd figured out what the scene was truly for, it was still a lot of effort and tweaking before I got it to read how I wanted to: threading the simultaneous needles of being lowkey arousing but also inarguably unsettling from the jump, so that you're seeing those red flags but maybe, like Blake, thinking they can be overcome until it's very obvious they Can't. I struggled with how to frame it so that it came through that Blake was being... mmm, let's say reckless without crossing the line into Blake being irresponsible, and I wasn't happy with my first stabs at it. in the very first draft, after Em says says she doesn't want to discuss her burn scar and adds "There, that's a boundary, since you wanted one so bad," the prose goes 'There is absolutely no way they are fucking at this point, given Emerald's attitude, and… Blake doesn't know why she stays.'

Which: why would I tell the reader that? It's way too on the nose, and drains the scene of all tension! it also made the spanking moment read as overtly didactic in a way that I didn't like and hadn't intended, so. I tried to drill down into what I thought it was about.

adding the flashback moments to Blake's encounter with Trifa helped considerably; that wasn't in the first draft at all, though the fact that she'd had that encounter was already canon. taking a look at it again, I realized weaving those two together was an opportunity to show why Blake "lets" Emerald make this mistake and indulges her, because it's the same thing Blake went through and she understands it. massaging the tempo and timbre of my vocab took some doing so Blake wasn't in full-on panic attack mode and thus making it all seem WORSE than it already was.

and the final thing I changed was just... twisting that knife more and adding to their rapport. the original draft was brief; it went right from Emerald giving the Cinder backstory to Blake being like "congrats on past tense" and then it was the phone number ask. it was important to me to elaborate on why these two had chemistry, on how they were parallel, and on just how much they liked each other and vibed-- on just how much of an opportunity Blake was missing out on. so Blake laughing more at Em's jokes, and getting the Mercury context, that all came later.

in total, I think this scene had like five or six discrete iterations before reaching its final form.

[covenantofthedeep]

can i call you tonight? ☆

feat. | scaramouche for chiyo bc u asked, just 10 years later summary | seeing scara after a long time :) set in a coffee shop and modern a/n | tfw u havent written in like three months so u forgot ur formatting and also why do u shitpost sm ✨ and also ur formatting is ugly af time to change it but ur too lazy what the fuck sunny. also ps im sorry if this is ooc

scaramouche |

you haven't heard from scaramouche for ages--probably weeks? probably months? honestly, you're trying to forget, you swear, but you really can't. it takes everything in you to not check who it is when the cafe door opens, every single time. 

maybe this time... maybe this time it'll be him, you tell yourself when the bell jingles above the door.

 you used to go to the cafe to work, because at home, it was too loud, crowded with your family. you have your own place now; there's no reason why you stay at the cafe besides the fact that you met him there the very first time.

he had rushed in from the rain, dripping wet, and painfully short, and your heart had jumped. you'd seen him around town, buying various things (he'd taken a clear hankering to unagi chazuke) and walking. you'd watched him as he'd plodded to the cash register, ordering a coffee (black). you hadn't been able to take your eyes off of him as he'd sat down beside you. 

you had scooted your stuff away, which had prompted him to gruffly ask, "is this seat taken?"

"no," you'd replied, closing your laptop and folding your arms over it. "scaramouche, right?"

that had kindled a friendship--and dare you say, even more?--but then one night, he'd left. not a word, not a letter, not anything. just up and left. it had torn a hole in your heart that you tried to fill with too-sweet coffee and running mile after mile, covering stretches of land in the hopes that you'd glimpse his face.

you loathed how you thought about him, how you dreamt up scenarios where he'd walk into the cafe, apologizing for his absence (usually, something had happened to the tsaritsa and he'd had to leave) and sitting down beside you. sometimes, when you hated yourself, you'd imagine him walking in with someone else on his arm.

you lose yourself in your daydream, sipping slowly at your intensely sweet coffee of the day, when someone pulls up a chair across from you. you ignore them and turn up your music, hoping they'll get the hint. can't they tell?? you're lost in your daydream.

three songs play before the other person apparently decides they've had enough and clears their throat. you glance up and a flush washes over your body, background sounds disappearing. your hands tremble a little bit (fucking hell, you want to laugh at yourself) and you can feel a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. you stifle a little laugh. 

you set your tea down, trying to calm your racing heart down, to no avail. he can probably tell how much you'd missed him right on your face. probably it's written right across your forehead: I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I THOUGHT UP AT LEAST 100 SCENARIOS ABOUT YOU COMING BACK.

this is so stupid, you tell yourself, slowly taking off your headphones. "no way," you mutter, "no way you're back."

he spreads his arms out wide, leaning back in his chair, just as he always did. "what can i say? i missed you."

you scoff, but  this time, you can't stop the smile spreading across your face. "i'm mad, just so you know," you tell him, but pull your chair closer to his. "and i have work to do."

"oh," he says. is it just you, or is he a little bit disappointed? huh. maybe he did miss you after all.

"can i call you tonight?" you ask, packing your things up. "i mean--i will. i will call you tonight."

"yes," you hear him call out as you shut the cafe door behind you.

you walk away with a little pep in your step, beaming so wide it hurts your cheeks.

[tealfling]

Little Headcanon Scenes

I imagine happen in my Amaranth playthrough that I don't have stories to go with.

- Amaranth flits around camp, ever the busybody, checking on the other companions and helping them with their chores. Asking if they need anything. Ever since she allowed him to drink from her, Astarion has been acutely aware of presence. Always a ping on the compass in his mind. But she'll do things that'll catch him off guard. Like sneak up behind him (hard to do) while he's reading. She'll grab him by the chin and tilt it up to her as she leans in to study his face. At first he's startled by the touch, but will relax when he sees it's her. He'll try to collect himself and not melt into the devastating warmth of her hands. Like always, he'll reflexively throw a seductive line at her, while asking what he can do for her, but she'll stroke her thumbs from the dark circles under his eyes down his cheeks. It's so gentle, caring. Astarion won't know how to react. Suddenly there's nothing to focus on but the sprinkle of white freckles across her purple cheeks, like a starry night, or the way her long silver hair has fallen around his face like a protective curtain. or the way her crystal clear eyes read him intently, almost concerned. He can almost feel himself blush from her heat. Her voice is be soft when she says "Just checking." Astarion's brows will crease confused. "On what?" It's a defensive snap, and harsher than he means. "On you. You look like you haven't fed well in a while, would you like a little midnight snack?" Amaranth's voice is low enough so only he hears, but her tone is playful and her cute little nose crinkles. Astarion couldn't help the small smile when he said, "How very altruistic of you. But if you're offering Darling, how could I say no?" He meant it to sound much more suave, but her smile grew. "Alright, I'll see you later then." For the briefest second, he thought she might say something else. Maybe it was the glance she gave his lips like she might press hers to his, but she just popped up, sauntering away, and Astarion wished she had.

- The first couple of days of their journey would have been hard for Amaranth to deal with only having one pair of pants. The pair she had on while abducted. Eventually she'd try to fashion her own out of some looted pair she finds. It's hard to get the right fit with a tail to consider. Why not get some at the Grove, from the tiefling refugees? Because, they're refugees!! Hasn't enough been taken from them?! And now you want her to take their pants? Absolutely not. Obviously she can make do with what she can find. She's a pretty good quilter after all, but not really good at tailoring. She's already removed all those bullshit sleeves from her shirts, how hard can it be? Those skills aren't as transferable as she thought, however. What, like, you've never had a meltdown over a seam ripper before? Astarion will swoop in to fix it bc how is he supposed to act when he finds she's crying with half her vast ass hanging out of some pillaged pants? Dry those tears and put away that pouty lip, it's.... making him feel bad. He'll take care of it for her, he's used to fixing his own clothes. It's the least he could do with everything she's given him. He'll also be stealing something better for her to wear as soon as he can. It'll be a nice little gift, something to repay her with.

- As soon as Karlach is touchable, Amaranth showers her bestie with all the hugs she can handle. Literally, hanging off her bigger friend half the time. [At least until she overheats, Amaranth still hates being sweaty, as much as she loves her friend.] Piggy back rides are a frequent occurrence. Occasionally, with Karlach on the receiving side, Amaranth is surprisingly strong, but Karlach actually prefers her little purple backpack, it’s a comfort thing. Being finally held by another. It’s around this time that the others in the party were starting to suspect something might be going on between Amaranth and Astarion. Lately they've been visibly inseparable, constantly whispering secrets and inside jokes. It's also been noted that when one seemingly disappears the other is also coincidently missing. So it’s kind of strange that Amaranth's suddenly very touchy with Karlach, even more so than Amaranth's normal chumminess with them. Astarion is never far behind the two tieflings, still seemingly at the purple one's beck and call, but the others can’t get a read on what’s going on there. Gale and Wyll are constantly exchanging glances. Who’s going to say something first? Wyll cracks first, not one to forgo the opportunity to poke at the vampire. He looks at Amaranth wrapped behind Karlach, then elbows the pale elf, “So, Astarion, you and Amaranth seem pretty close. How come we never see you carrying her on your back?” The other man never gets the chance to reply. Somehow Karlach beats him to a punchline, “Because she can ride me longer obviously.” Amaranth grabs the red tiefling from behind by the horns and shakes her head. “Karlach!” She exclaims with a nervous laugh while Karlach cackles. The elf clicks his tongue and crosses his arms, turning his head, clearly pouting. "Oh I assure you, I'm the best ride any of you could ever get," he bites. Amaranth tugs back on Karlach's horns so they can look at each other from the side, "Well, none of my rides have made me 'see stars' or taken me 'to the FeyWild and back,' so I guess we all have room for improvement." Karlach groans shamefully as the three men look at them. Gale and Wyll exchange confused glances, and Wyll mutters about being sorry he said anything.

[rev3rb]

Hey again. Just read the latest chapter, and umm idk how to feel. It was nice to get some more insight into Ferid and see how even as a teen he was always just ~ like that™️. But, I’m a bit taken aback by the implication that Crowley might be Ferid’s reincarnated brother?? Bc to me it read like that was either the 440th person he killed or 440th time he killed his big bro. And knowing Ferid, 440 does not seem like a high enough body count. But idk maybe the brother flashback isn’t related to Crowley at all and is just used to establish a pattern? Regardless, rip to Crowley, Chess, and Horn.

Plot relevant things aside young prince Ferid with his classic ponytail bow was adorable, still unhinged, but also pretty adorable.

I get that. Personally I'm kinda angry about it.

You're right in that it was nice to get some insight into Ferid, but I don't know if that was worth the trade off of what we got. What the HELL do you mean that named characters that were prominent at one point (even if it wasn't THAT prominent) got killed OFF SCREEN with no indication that this was the case up until now. I would probably be fine about it if we'd had ANY foreshadowing about it, but no. Instead they disappeared without explanation and then are just declared dead. Their disappearance didn't even ring as that weird since Ferid, and therefore Crowley since he's following him around, are up to things that aren't popular with the majority of the vampire population. I remember mentioning that they hadn't shown up in a long time semi recently in one of these, but the reason I hadn't harped on it as much as someone like Narumi is bc they disappeared at a natural point instead of in the middle of the arc. I'm getting side tracked though. Ultimately, this felt INCREDIBLY dumb and a bit like Kagami just wanted to kill them off since he had no further purpose for them. If you're going to do that, at least HINT that the fact that they haven't shown up in a bit is weird. I just. oooough. I'm talking in circles. But yeah. Imagine if this happened to Rene and Lacus too :) (likely won't since Lacus has that whole thing with Yoichi).

I also find it annoying that Crowley was killed with so little fanfare. I get that it's because of the whole vampires have no feelings thing, but still. It's just insane to kill a character who has been around for so much of the story like that. It really makes Crowley come off as a plot device for Ferid's story rather than anything of real importance outside of that. Without the added context from the Mikaela light novel spin off (which reminder, still hasn't been finished) he feels like there's just so little going on with him other than his relationship with Ferid. Don't get me wrong. I think Crowley is a fun character, which is why I think this is just doing him so dirty. Was I asking for some drawn out fight between him and Ferid before he was killed? No, not really. I just find the situation of Ferid killing him off at all kinda dumb. idk. I have no suggestions about what I'd like to see. It just... wasn't that. Maybe I'll feel better about it later if his death is revealed to be more plot relevant.

ANYWAYS! I better move on before I'm here all night. ...Okay but last thing. YET A FUCKING GAIN we're jumping from one subject to another JUST to draw out some reveals and give us more questions. I'm going to pull my hair out lol. I really shouldn't be surprised that the second Shinoa starts diving into The First's memories we flip to this scene. I have a bit of a feeling that it's because she's going to learn what the audience already knows, but I just don't get why that wasn't lumped into the previous chapter. Would have felt much better if we'd just started this chapter with Ferid and Crowley. I guess page count could have factored in but... just feels like maybe you could have cut down some of the last chapter to make space for this. Ah... but maybe I'm just being a hater at this point. Anywho...

I too was wondering if that was the implication, but yeah, the number tripped me up. That DOES seem too frequent to be his brother, so I'm also wondering if that's the number of people he's killed. Yes, it seems a little low, but maybe that's people he's killed with a specific purpose in mind. Ones that tie into that rebirth mentality he has going on here. I'm sure we'll find out eventually. It does seem like we need more context to figure out what it is exactly Ferid is doing. Maybe he IS just killing people because he feels like it's time for them to go, but you'd think that he wouldn't bother to count them. Who knows.

Okay, maybe I'm just imagining it but I SWEAR we'd seen a younger Ferid design before at SOME point, but for the life of me, I can't remember where. Something about him talking about how he was a Mikaela candidate too or something like that? I bring it up to say that I swear we've seen a Ferid design somewhat similar to this before, but regardless, you're right. It is nice to see that design and that he really doesn't seem to have changed much over the years. Vampirisim apparently didn't change him.

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

Whump Intro

Hi, hello! 

Um, I’ve been avoiding this intro bc I am a shy awkward hermit that usually just lurks and likes stuff, but that doesn’t really work on Tumblr so here I am! Plus I wanted to use Whumptober to force myself into sharing my writing and figured it might be useful to introduce myself first.

You can call me starlit, or anna, or hey you, I don’t really care lol. She/her pronouns. I love reading fantasy & fantasy romance, writing, and playing RPG video games when I have the time (usually fantasy based-are we sensing a theme here? 😂)

Before we get to more about me nonsense-

Acknowledgements!

Shout out to @i-can-even-burn-salad

For beta reading for me and then being brave enough to share her stories with me. And for sucking me into Tumbler lol. And for talking to me all the time and making me laugh. And for being such a great person. <3

I love her writing and stories so much. Please, please, check her writing out. It's worth it, I promise! Bring tissues though!!

Best internet friend ever trophy, where is it? I need to send it… oh, there it is. Here you go, Elli! 🏆🎉💜

I haven't had the opportunity to check out many other blogs yet, bc someone has such an extensive back catalog 👀 😂 but tagged below is the one I have read. I devoured Traces in one day because it was so good. Highly recommend!

Traces by @whumping-in-the-wings - Thanks for writing such a great story! Can't wait to see what happens next :)

(Obligatory disclaimer: heed the warnings. They are well-tagged.)

I've got my eye on several other blogs once I have a little more time. Hope ya'll like spam likes/reblogs/comments, bc I'm a bit enthusiastic 😂

Ok, back to me, I suppose. Under the cut 🤣

I tend to use emojis excessively, but don’t expect me to know the meaning of them beyond face-value expressions. I shamelessly claim elder millennial status as an excuse (which means I’m 18+, obviously).

I’m audhd (combo autistic/adhd), but I didn’t find that out until earlier this year, so I’m still very used to tiptoeing around people and holding myself back out of self-preservation. Working on that though, bc I’m tired of that shit. 

Erm, also… fuck is my favorite word. If you don’t like foul language, I might not be a great fit for you. 

I joined Tumblr about a month ago, so I am still learning and ask for your patience. (I will probably be learning for quite some time, tbh) If I’m doing something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it.

Asks are welcome, although not sure what you would ask me lol. With asks, keep in mind that I’m literal as fuck and context is everything :D

As is fairly common from what I’ve seen in this community, I’ve daydreamed whump for as long as I can remember, and it’s nice to:

1. know what to call it 🥲

2. find someplace where I don’t feel weird about getting it out of my head and putting it on digital paper. Well, not quite as weird haha.

I’m super nervous to post on here, but that’s what I’m here for, so… deep breaths 😶

Likes: 

*Fantasy whump 

Magic w/ consequences

Captivity

Torture/punishments 

Restraints

Dub/non-con 

Emotional whump/angst 

Defiant whumpee

Breaking whumpee to the point of hopeless despair before building them back up again

Revenge against whumper 

Creepy/intimate whumper 

Named characters 

Recovery arcs, bonus points for romance <3

Eventual Happy endings after copious amounts of suffering

I write what I like, btw. I have written explicit romance previously, but I’m not sure if I will here.

I will try to be diligent with my warnings, but as those are new for me as well, I may miss some. Please let me know if I do and I will fix it! (within reason, don't ask me to tag something like sadness. that's a typical emotion. extremes like depression, yes. sadness, no.)

* Disclaimer: I will only ever write fantasy. I prefer to read fantasy as well, but I have made exceptions when I get the tropes I want :D 

Squicks: 

I’m willing to try most anything once. 

In general though, I tend to avoid cannibalism, major character death, hard-core conditioning, whumper redemptions, bad caretakers 

I’m excited to join the community here and looking forward to participating in Whumptober! I have no idea how well I’ll keep up since I only decided to write for it 3 days before the event, but I’m willing to try 😅

Even if I can’t keep up during October's events, I do plan to finish the storyline and there will be a happy end :D  

Fuck, this got long. Sorry!!!

See you all around! 💜

[rooftopwreck]

ooh ooh, 58 for the Spotify wrapped fic idea thing!

Hello, Hello TJ! I have two ideas for this!

The First one is a sequel to the angsty Modern AU Dreamuse Break Up I came up with for @ghostboyjules where in this one there's reconciliation, healing and a hopeful ending. Oh, just thinking about it makes me 🥺

The second one is set in 1989 where Hob thinks he got stood up. It's more of an introspective look on how Hob's feeling, starting to get a little drunk and melancholy as the day stretches into night as he waits in The White Horse.

I'll dive into the first scenario instead bc I have an actual idea for it than the second which is mostly just Hob having some sad lonely drunken musings before his night gets worse (he doesn't know about the pub shutting down yet rip)

My mind is complicated Find it hard to rearrange it But I'll have to find a way somehow Overreacting lately Find it hard to say I'm sorry But I'll make it up to you somehow

Years after their mutual break up, Dream and Calliope happen to run into one another (haven't decided should it be a quiet balcony at a Gala or something more mundane). They have polite (albeit stiff) conversation, making nice and catching up. After that they can't seem to stop happening across one another, it's almost as though it's fate.

They continue to make polite conversation each time. Once, Dream makes a dry remark, it makes Calliope laugh. Dream is simultaneously delighted by her joy and overcome with a sense of grief. He takes his leave shortly after but not before Calliope suggests it would be nice to keep in contact again.

Dream struggles with the love he had for Calliope, their falling out, his own failures in their relationship, how they seem to get along better than ever despite their interactions are tainted by shadows of their past and how it feels the same but also very different. She feels different but also the same. He wonders if he's changed at all and if the man he is now is worth her time despite everything that's happened.

Seeing her again brought back old grievances, not against her but himself. He considers making amends if he wants them to start again as friends. He has missed her dearly.

Did I miscalculate this? Let's just go back to basics Forget about what's come and gone 'Cause I hate to see us like this Breaking up on nights just like this We should be shooting for them stars of gold

It is good to see him again, Calliope thinks. It might have been good to hom too, she thinks. That is until he suddenly froze up and backpaddled out of the conversation at the speed of light, but never in an undignified way, just as he used to. After so many years, she thought she had a good enough read on him, that he did not hate her as she initially thought, that he was comfortable with her. Perhaps she is mistaken, perhaps she is too hasty in her desire to have Dream warm up again, perhaps he was reminded of their past and remembered he would rather not reconnect.

Calliope wishes they could put aside their past and work towards something new. They've both changed a lot, they're not the same as they once were. Their relationship will not be that of the past. It can be something new if Dream comes around to the idea.

So tell me you want it A thousand miles away from the day that we started But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth I guess we lost our focus And it's killing me that we could go to war like this But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Well I'm still in love with you

They make tentative steps together, navigating this new friendship. Sometimes, they make more mistakes than they do progress. Sometimes, they make leaps and bounds, bonding in a way they haven't before. It is good, they are good. Things are alright, they're more than alright.

Dream has not smiled quite so much in a long time. Calliope's eyes twinkle brightly as she teases him. Her smile soothes something inside him, it settles him. It is not to say she has lost her spark, but it is a warm, almost banked fire, instead of one that rages wildly. He feels at ease, like he belongs.

He freezes. He had not intended this to happen, but between their conversations and not-dates since they first reconnected, he's in love with her. He had been, but it's different but still the same. He should leave. He needs to go, he cannot burden her with this. This was not what Calliope had desired when she suggested they keep in touch. He's fucked this up again. He needs to go.

Calliope's hand settles on his and pulls him back. She calmly asks him not to panic and run, to please talk to her if there is something wrong, to be honest.

So, he does. He's still in love with her, new and different. He's fucked up their friendship by carrying this torch, if he hasn't already, then he will. He doesn't know what will happen next, he's terrified of losing her again after just having her back in his life.

Oh, we'll be alright Oh, it'll be alright Oh, we'll be alright Oh, it'll be alright

Calliope cups her hand around his and gently says she loves him too. Whatever comes next, they'll figure it out together. This time, they'll be alright.

[cousticks]

silly little headcanon that got way too long and detailed as i typed it out alert:

basically pre-being picked up by mori, dazai, who was bored and lonely, got into the habit of reading every single dystopia/post-apocalypse book he could get his hands on, no matter the actual quality, and strategize his way through thinking how he'd survive that wasteland and/or overthrow that government in the unlikely event it happened and he didn't kill himself immediately (he accidentally invented several methods that would go straight onto the geneva convention if he told anyone about it... he was just being a little silly <3). once he got into the pm and even afterward, one of his primary Bonding Methods was just randomly throwing out the question, "if you were living in an apocalypse with an environment like x and a government like y and you had z amount of supplies, how would you survive them?". he and mori got really into this (mori was extremely kind of sad when chuuya came into the picture and dazai became more invested in playing this game with him). no abilities allowed because that makes it too easy.

anyway. very silly. dazai was pathologically unable to stop himself from laughing at chuuya's face whenever he debunked one of his ideas. he even did this with akutagawa for reasons that remain unknown, though he never failed to use this as a 'learning opportunity' and ruthlessly criticize aku's lack of strategic thinking.

to dazai's eternal resentment ango is actually one of the best people to play it with, and oda was... not that good. he's a himbo, your honor, he doesn't get this stuff.

ANYWAY. in the ada he uses it to teach the kiddos tactics and also have fun/be nostalgic. fyodor is vaguely offended dazai never offered to play with HIM. kunikida and ranpo love it but kuni will never admit it (he's kind of bitter that he can't use doppo poet to cheat code his way through everything). fukuzawa got weirdly invested the one time he played it. yosano doesn't really like it because the idea of treating injuries in such unsanitary conditions gives her hives, but naomi is actually pretty good at it! etc etc

hey did you dig into my childhood inner psyche bc planning what i'd do in apocalypse scenarios was one of my hobbies as a child. except mine usually ended in leading a biker gang so they were rather fantastical.

anyway. i really really like this hc and your takes on how good the other characters are at dazai's game. he was exactly the right type of weird little kid for this. dazai 100% would have played this with hirotsu while they were walking into suribachi. I think gramps would have been pretty good at it, too. he's survived many mafia bosses now, i think an apocalypse goes with his morning tea.

i agree with ango being really good at it too, and oda... not as much. the man is meant to exist around other people whether he likes it or not.

funnily enough i think ranpo would be painfully bad at it. he can read other people, but as far as actual survival skills? someone help him. please.

little thought games like this kind of go in line with Dazai being based off the No Longer Human novel, as well. one of the things that stuck with me the most from that novel are some of the word games Yozo played with his acquaintances, namely the game of opposites. (If you haven't read it-essentially, it was a debate over what the true 'opposite' of a concept was. ex. what is the opposite of a flower? you could say rock, but that's still an element of nature, where metal is something man-made, and is not so delicate, so the opposite of a flower could be a metal block, etc. i've played it with friends before, its quite fun). i could see Dazai (character) himself playing that as well. Weird kid inclined towards thought experiment games. I like this a lot

[aces-and-angels]

i understand this would take a lot of time so this is not a request and rather just a query, but would you consider doing character analysis for the relationships but with all 3 routes (blood/merge/shadow) ? 🙂

Thanks for the message anon! To answer your question: I have and haven't done what you're asking lmaoo- lemmie explain (adding a read more bc tis long and I am incapable of simple saying yes or no, I gotta get into it lol)

---

My methodology when developing my 'final thoughts' posts is fairly simple:

Use my main route save as a reference

Use Rowan's greatest desire seen in the Power realm to determine their ending (blood/mixed/shadow)

See where that takes me lol

I have the ability to see how each route (blood/mixed/shadow) can end with each of the characters. In fact, I have played through each of them with Abel, Amalia, and Matthias. Looking at the other variants was mainly a tool for me to help strengthen my talking points for my canon endings (and to see what could happen, obviously lol) For example: I used MC losing all their nerve if they chose to merge with their Power-half to add to my discussion on why they ultimately become human in Amalia's route.

For Matthias- I responded to a very sweet message (which may or may not be you as well 👀) which you can read here; it goes into Ro's shadow ending with him if they split the Power between themselves aka the 'Power Couple' ending. Highly encourage peeps to stick around till the end of that post bc there's a bonus question that I'd like answered ♥

Since I have seen every variation for his end routes I'll fulfill your request for Matty right here, right now ☺

As for a mixed!route with him- to the best of my knowledge- there isn't a way for your MC to stay with Matthias without merging with the Power. If there is, it really puts a damper on my whole Matthias is only loyal to the Power rhetoric I've been harping on about lol. I think my statement here pretty much covers my thoughts across the endings he can have w/ Ro: humanity and Matthias do not mix. Period. If MC is rocking with Matthias in any way, it points to a very deep character flaw (or slay if you wanna think of it that way lol). They mirror Matthias' insecurities, ambitions, and drive. They both believe that as they are before the conclusion of the series, they are not enough. Utterly desperate and ruthless in their quest to make their desires a reality.

Ro's choice to side w/ Matthias and then betray him as well is a very good twist on a similar thought I had with Abel x MC mixed ending. With the end of their route, I see Abel and MC as a couple proving their words ("But if we truly love each other, we won’t hold each other back.”) with the progression of their relationship post-finale. Whatever transpires between them, it happens with the intent of seeing each other achieve their greatest potential. The double-cross ending is the ultimate I am choosing ME story. Ro chooses themselves over Matthias. Over their 'true purpose' made by Loha. Over the bonds they may have formed between the members of the ILW crew. All of that is cast aside in favor of possessing an unimaginable amount of power. To someone who believes they've never been granted the opportunity to forge their own path, receiving this level of autonomy is gratifying. Absolutely nothing holds Ro back from getting what they want. And nothing ever will again.

---

Luckily for me, I was able to unlock all three endings (blood/shadow/mixed) amongst all the LIs with my main saves.

Abel: mixed

Amalia, Lincoln, Matthias: blood

Jocelyn: shadow

The plan I have right now is to write out my full thoughts on Jocelyn's route first because I have yet to analyze a shadow ending that doesn't end with Rowan and Matty burning the world to the ground lol.

My approach with Lincoln will be slightly different.

By the time I get to writing his post, I will have shared thoughts on all of the possible endings at least once. My main save with Linc allows Ro to successfully achieve each end without losing too much nerve that they need to be revived/killed. Because of this, I decided that I will choose the ending, and not solely base my choice on what is seen in the Power dimension.

---

So after a very lengthy how-to, where does that leave this anon's query? I think I will have a better understanding on what I want to say about each of the routes (blood/mixed/shadow) in regards to each character when I've completed going through all my save files. For now, here are my initial thoughts on alt. routes for the LIs. I will make additional posts if I come up with anything substantial worth mentioning in regards to a specific LI ♥

A mixed ending with Joss as an LI has the highest probability of lasting out of the mixed endings with the other LIs. Disclaimer: I have yet to see Jocelyn's route, but I do know that she is the only one who chooses to stay and help hunt horrors. The others express their desire to leave those days in the past.

The shadow route just hurts- I can understand why it's difficult for players to want to end their journey like that and why it's slipping in the polls LMAO fr tho yall need to give shadow route more dang love its achingly wonderful

But seriously, it's altruism to the extreme. This is a stark contrast to Rowan's reasoning to claim the Power as their sole form in Matthias' route; Them severing all ties to their humanity for the sake of saving the rest of the world is the ultimate sacrifice. What's even more heartbreaking is that the majority of the world will never know of it.

The ones that do (the LIs) hold the heavy burden of trying to honor that sacrifice by enjoying the healed world around them while simultaneously grieving the loss of what they considered to be their world: Rowan. It's a love story that transcends realms- expressed not with soft caresses- but in the soft breeze in the air, the gentle warmth from the sun that hits their skin, the stars that shine brightly in the sky. A physical representation of the peace that was restored by paying the ultimate price.

Blood route: As of 3-9-23, this route is leading the polls as players chosen ending. I've said before that I connect most with a mixed ending. So it is a bit more difficult for me to frame Ro as solely human by the end of the series. If I'm strictly just answering the question of 'will they last?' the Blood route offers the highest potential of achieving a long lasting, established relationship for Ro x their LI simply because the majority of the LIs are ready to move on from their involvement with the Power. Makes sense. They are, in fact, human lmaoo. The drawback with this route is Rowan's guilt for leaving the Power behind. A somewhat selfish, albeit less extreme version of the double-crossing option, choice to put themselves over others in order to achieve their version of happiness.

Overall, each of the LIs will help Ro through this grief. Their approach may differ slightly, but the goal is the same. My main talking point that I think is worth mentioning is how Ro's guilt will manifest post-finale/the consequences of that.

The end scene right before credits roll is Rowan suffering from another nightmare- an indicator of their survivor's guilt. Their ability to move past that guilt is determinant on a player's interpretation

My take: To be connected to the Power for that long, to have it be an integral part of your identity- I cannot see Rowan not getting back into the fold in all things Power-related. Maybe it's my personal bias of wanting a mixed route, but I truly feel that Ro pushing themselves towards 'normalcy' by going full domestic isn't the answer to them overcoming their guilt (except maybe in Amalia's story, since I played the ultimate bff to lovers story) This might not be the case with other MCs. If you played as someone who yearned for that lifestyle, I think your MC will have an easier time coming to terms with their life as a human. How I view MC in the majority of my routes however, makes me think otherwise.

I'll refer to this line from Devon to Rowan to frame my stance:

Devon: Think we can count on you to help us out with that? Rowan: Me? But I'm just a full human now. Devon: So? Most people are just regular humans. I might not be anymore, I guess, but all of our other friends are. Rowan: I... I'll think about it.

This moment alone gives enough opportunity to speculate the POSSIBILITY of Rowan turning back to the life of the Power. To what degree? I can't say, but I play Rowan as someone who has deep ties to their connection to the Power, even if by the end of the Blood route, they have no physical ties to it.

Whew. That was a lot. If you made it this far- CONGRATS! Here's another secret poll so I can see how many people made it to the end 😊

[alfryco]

I could get revenge and ask what headcanons you have for soapghost, but if you don’t do headcanons, give us some fic recs? (/pos bc I love writing headcanons and it’s made my day to get your asks.

Oh man how the turns have tabled!! I've only been into this ship/fandom for like a month or so now?? But I think I can pull off some headcanons :3 I've been reading too much to NOT have any (also you know I'm totally gonna ask you for some fic recs because your taste is 👌👌👌)

So I guess here's some soapghost headcanons that I've accumulated over the little time i've been here :D (put under read more because this is a bit on the long side)

Those two get matching tattoos after they retire from the service, like at least two sets of different tattoos (one on their hearts and another set on their ring fingers), and tbh I think they get one set while they're still on service. That particular one, I think, would be the tattoo idea where they have each other's names on the other's ring finger. Just something small and simple, nothing too big to draw other people's attention but enough to remind them of each other when they're not together (like being split up or on a separate mission).

Idk if this is canon in the reboot but Johnny loves drawing and loves to sketch out some sort of scene from the places they've been around the world. Whether it's just the sketch of a flower he saw or some moment he saw in one of the towns they've passed through. But his favorite thing.. that man's favorite thing to draw unfortunately just happens to be his lieutenant's eyes. And this is before they're an established thing or have even talked about their feelings with each other. So he’s sneaking glances, and honestly, can you blame him? It's the only way Soap's got any idea of what's going on in Ghost's head is by looking at his eyes. I mean he's s looking at them quite a bit when they're talking so can u blame him? (this is also because I think it would be really fun to draw Ghost's eyes and I just haven't had the chance too) I also think Ghost's eyes look like how umikochan on Twitter draws them. All dark but with the pretty white lashes :3

Simon's nervous when Johnny first invites him to meet his family. The two of them have been together for a few months, and it probably happens over Christmas. And Simon isn't really used to a traditional family setting? Lord knows he didn't have one when he was a kid, but being around the family dynamic of the 141 has helped him a bit with that. So when he does meet the Mactavish family, he's just this mass of well-concealed nerves and probably would unravel if it weren't for Johnny's hand in his. But meeting them goes so much better than Simon could hope, and by the end of the night when the pair are leaving, he's leaving as an honorary Mactavish. Johnny's mom explained it was the least she could do after seeing how much he cares for (and has cared for) Johnny. And they want him back for the next family gathering!

They both have nightmares, but they usually deal with them in different ways. Ghost will wake up suddenly, but not loudly. He tends to tense up and just breathe through whatever nightmare he just had (because thats what hes traoned himself to do over the years). While Soap is more the one who sits up fully in bed and has his feet on the floor in an instant just to keep him grounded from whatever nightmare just hit him. Of course, when the two start sleeping in the same bed, they stop having to deal with it on their own. Like magic, even if he's dead asleep, if Ghost has a nightmare and does his whole tense bit, then Soap is right there rolling over and cocooning Ghost in arms and legs. It makes Ghost feel safe and confined, like how his mask makes him feel when he wears it. If Soaps awake though or is woken up by Ghost then he'll usually ask if Ghost wants to talk about it and if he does then they do and if he doesn't then they go back to bed, but Soap won't fall asleep before he knows Ghost has fallen back to sleep. And with Soap, even if Ghost has become a little more of a heavy sleeper now that he sleeps with someone he trusts, Ghost is usually soon to follow with a warm hand, the man's a fuckin space heater, on Soap's shoulder and is pulling the man back down after they've talked, if Soap wants to obvi, and just has Soap lay against his chest. The rhythm of his heartbeat can usually lull Soap back into sleep. Unless it's a particularly bad one, then Ghost is up making tea for the both of them and talking about whatever they feel, like from soccer to even weird, not so scary dreams they've had in the past.

I feel like Ghost really likes reading. It's something he can do that's quiet, and it can take his mind off of things (if the book is good enough, which it usually is). Sometimes Johnny will try and read with him, but he's usually doing something with his hands, like drawing or tinkering with something mechanical or playing some kind of video game. I feel like Soap would be into action/adventure type games like Uncharted or Jak and Daxter. (soapghost treasure hunter au anyone 👀👀??)

This one is entirely self indulgent, but I would think that once Soap and Ghost are out of the service and living together they find a house with a big bathtub, big enough for the two of them. And on particularly cold days when their joints are aching from age and overuse or just when they feel like it, the two will take a long, hot bath together and just enjoy the comfort of being with each other in a basin of hot water. There's definitely back washing and hair washing and soft, intimate (aka very cute and lovey dovey) kisses. And they're just domestic and happy 🥺🥹

Another cute headcanon I have is that Soap is a master thief when it comes to nabbing Ghost clothes to wear as his own. A few hoodies and a pair of sweatpants never make it back to Ghost because Johnny has just adopted them as his own, but most of the time Soap hands them back to him because they've lost their "smell" and just takes whatever unfortunate article of clothing is laying around the house as his next victim until that one loses its Simon scent.

And because I'm a sucker for this, I feel like the two of them would realize their feelings for each other after a close call on a mission. One bullet hitting too close to be safe lands one of them in the hospital, and there's a bedside vigil for whoever wasn't as badly injured. And man if close calls don't make you realize just how close you came to losing the person you now deeply love then I don't know what does.

Also like to think that both Soap and Ghost can be a bit possessive over the other, but only in the hot "this one's mine" type way and not in the creepy "you can't hang out or talk to anyone but me" way, ya kno?

Same goes for protectiveness. Of course, they can't protect each other as much as they want, they're in the service for crying out loud, but that won't stop them from doing their best. Also, when it comes to new recruits that may want to try their luck against the infamous "Ghost" or not respect Soap like the damn man should be respected. Of course the whole 141 task force is there watching over the two of them through all of it because they're family and that's what family's DO. It's a two-way street for watching out for each other and the rest of the group.

[sinecosinewheel]

@galaxirin @bornetoblood

😭 i rly am the amelia guy huh (nm about it!)

- How I feel about this character

to start, she is my funny guy. in-game i think she's an awesome depiction of the healing church's state, the last vicar is powerless to do anything but pray, alone, clutching the medallion of her predecessor who all but set her up to fail. she's both a tragic figure, and the highest remaining member of the organization who doomed the town. in my hcs she is all of that, and she regularly mulches and beheads people, and she likes bugs. she is my funny guy!

- All the people I ship romantically with this character

hmmm. melia x early retirement. jshdj fr I don't have any specific characters? maybeeee henriett? ok wait i like to think she's henryk's great grand niece or smth and theyre really on the nose w/ the names. ok divergence, my henriette hc is that she was rejected from the church hunters and inherited her old mans Old Hunter style duds nd started vigilante mushing beasts w/ her kirkhammer pro bono. so tool of the institution x bitter rogueish vigilante. plus u summon henriett for melias fight so putting down an old flame .... i have successfully talked myself around to this ship let's get it 🎉

- My non-romantic OTP for this character

she really could've used some guidance other than laurence in her life, so i like to think she would've found a mentor in maria, had maria lived long enough to meet her. rlly tho most people were scared shitless of her and/or intimidated by her status so she had no non-killing, non-laurence social outlets. i haven't arbitrarily picked and made up a backstory wholecloth for an npc hunter to be her dead friend yet but also them lmao 😭

- My unpopular opinion about this character

slamming my fists on the ground beating my head on the wall SHE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE, I QUOTE, 'THE SEXY DOG FROM OLIVER AND COMPANY'!!!!!!

ok that's a personal grievance but i stand by it. umm i wish she showed up again? not sure if that's unpopular but i don't think many people think of it. like maybe she could've showed up in the hunters nightmare...even as a gorpse.....or had more item descriptions ab her!! i want the bell ringing woman set!!!

- One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

hrmm i wish we could have gotten to see more of her in general!! the fight intro cutscene is fucking iconic but maybe she could've been an npc u can talk to... and then u have to fight her when u progress the night farther... n u could start her fight early like the dancer in ds3 by attacking her and get an alt intro cutscene....basically just any content of how the church worked, or what her role was before everything exploded i think

- My OTP

apparently amelia x henriett! news to me. real enemiesish to lovers opposing forces attract type shit here

- My crossover ship

ourgh. hmm maybe millicent elden ring or emerald herald ds2? maybe the ds2 miracles lady lmao melia would in her head b like my dads a much better grifter than her...shes silly i like her :) n the miracles lady is into muscles maybe. idk lmao it could be unhealthy, it could lead to melia unlearning some toxic shit bc the miracles lady is like a cartoonishly over exaggerated version of the people she was raised with, i don't even remember her name though x.x

- A headcanon fact

i stg this entire post has been a headcanon fact lol 💀 uhm uh oh lol we are ending on a sad one heehee. so u know how vicar amelia boss form is covered in bandages? after the school of mensis began kidnapping blood saints the healing blood of the healing church began to run dry, leading yharnam citizens to seek it from other sources, like certain prostitutes with special blood. seeing no other course and to uphold the legitimacy of the church's special blood, the vicar underwent the mysterious process of becoming a blood saint herself and all but bled herself dry to make up for the demand

[rinhaler]

The anon who just found out u were fuwushiguro here!!

Yes I absolutely understand the frustration from not performing as well with follower count to likes ratio - as an artist who used to be quite popular and likes went from thousands to only like seventy. At some point you feel like you’re not doing it for you, but actually for others. I’m happy you realised the happiness can come from writing and not only hate.

The friend who left you I can also relate to a bit, my ex best friend of 6 years also left me quite recently and it was like there was an empty hole in me because even if you’re not friends anymore, your brain can’t quite handle the change. I’m so sorry that happened to you, but the greatest challenge is to not only hold yourself to one person but to be open and try new possibilities, and that’s what you’ve seemed to done! You have new friends, new mental attitude, and a brand new beautiful blog (that I love the theme of btw!!!) You’re doing great and will continue to do so, because if there are 100 rinhaler fans I’m one of them, if there are 10 rinhaler fans I’m one of them and if there are none, I’m dead.

Also to the question you had, idk it’s just the way you describe certain things..? It’s hard to explain, I have about 50 fanfic blogs that I really love the writing of and fuwushiguro was one of them. Your world building, character description as well as development, SO GOOD!! And your wusyaname series was amazing, I used to check your blog religiously for any updates, and I’m happy you’re reuploading them here bc now I’m gonna reread them every week!

Also the way you wrote yuuji in the aita!sukuna fic was extremely similar to the first few chapters in wusyaname before he goes on that trip (if I remember right)

Have a great day/night :D

omg ARTIST AAAAAA im obsessed I'd love to see your stuff if you ever feel comfortable sharing with me sometime but no pressure ofc! I know it's very personal! ive been trying to get more into art but im finding it hard to balance practicing art stuff and writing. I also have massive art insecurity bc I don't think I'm good enough (same with my writing) so I totally understand if u wanna keep it all to yourself but go you for being a talented babe <3

interactions on tumblr suck and I'm starting to be able to tell myself it's purely luck what performs well and what doesn't, so I'm finding it a lot easier to write things I actually want to write now rather than what I think my followers will like.

Also yeah in regard to my friend, we were online friends and we'd only known each other for around two years but god i adored her and i still do tbh. I think about her and our memories all of the time we were so so close so her decision to just randomly cut me off really hurt. I'd love to talk to her again but I know I have to respect her decision and I wish her the best!

It's been a good opportunity to get back into writing so at least something nice has come from something so sad. And I love this little space so much! I'm glad you like my theme! It was greenish at first n i was like nope this aint the one i am a pink girl through and through!

ALSO AAAA THE WAY IM BLUSHING ABT AITA YUUJI BEING LIKE WUSYANAME YUUJI UR SO RIGHT 😩 definitely not intentional but god maybe i missed him more than i thought! I'm so excited to be reposting it though it's going to be like living through the magic of it all again and hearing what everyone thinks and stuff! I haven't read it in so long so I feel like I'm right there with you all hehehe

anyway thank you for supporting me always ur literally the best i adore u pls take care of urself mwah mwah mwah

[bisekcual]

Rue ends up being someone a lot of people seek out when they're looking to drop their glamour, or even by people who feel the need to defend using their glamour. They explain how they aren't against glamours, just against them being forced onto people, being used to reshape people against who they are.

rue's seen another form of glamorwork before! namely, the glamor crafters of the court of hoof and claw understand glamor in a much healthier way. we see this in wuvvy. i'm gonna defer to what conrad @obeetlebeetle said about this before, because oh my god his mind:

rue selecting a glamor that is thin, elfen, and beautiful: i thought it would get them to accept me. the goblins creating hob: i thought it would help me last a little longer. both rue and kp living for millennia in bodies that were designed by them (knowingly or not) to better suit and serve their court’s interests. whereas wuvvy IS a shapeshifter, slipping between forms to suit her needs because that’s a gift her body offers her; thinking abt how fun she finds glamours, how her different forms can overlap (satyr eyes in her feral face), how the only time she is asked by someone else to shift (the white hind) she puts strict conditions on it – wuvvy loves her changing shape bc she dictates the changes and she doesn’t pin her identity on any one form.

glamor and shifting of shape as something joyful and life-affirming is something that many fey in the wilds have actually a firm grasp on. the difference is that for the fey in the court of wonder, there's such a strict understanding of what is allowed to be exist and be seen, that glamorwork as a craft has been warped far beyond what it might have once been for the wonder fey that practice it. i touch on this briefly in just before devotion, too:

the difference between rue and wuvvy is that wuvvy's using her little satyr form as a tool in the court of wonder, the same way she views all her other forms as a tool. they all have their uses, and they're all her, and she's never been made to feel like any one of them is inferior to the other. her satyr form is useful because it's quick-footed and tiny, which means it's agile, perfect for the fast work of bloom-tending. but she loves her feral form equally as much, because she feels strong when she wears it, protective and powerful. we only saw one of her actual glamors over the course of the canon show, but she engages with it gleefully. that elven woman is her, too, and it's no more or less her, no better or worse, than her other forms.

that's an extremely healthy relationship to have with shape-shifting and glamorwork, and it's because she's from a court that is formed specifically around that kind of magic. it's unlikely that anyone in the court of wonder remembers how to view glamor this way. ideally, they would have a lot to learn from their kin in the court of hoof and claw; but the court of wonder has been shown to be too proud for that. not for nothing, their obsession with glamor itself comes from a desire to be presentable in front of other courts (and even in front of each other in the court of wonder - people in that court likely haven't actually trusted each other in eons). to defer to anyone else's expertise in matters of magic would go directly against the cultivated air of omnimastery that their flawed understanding of glamor has been used to create.

it would likely be only after the changes enacted by the pack of pixies that some fey in the court of wonder would feel bold enough to seek out other philosophies of magic, and it would probably take changes even more radical than what have already happened for the arch fey in the court of wonder to start to acknowledge that something's gone wrong, been wrong for a long, long time.