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pepperonibread · 4 months

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My Little Darlin’ Knows My Nature

“Such a mysterious business, motherhood. How brave a woman must be to embark on it.” ― M. L. Stedman, 'A Light Between Oceans' READ ON AO3 or below the line break Title inspired by this song Vibes

A/N: OKAY, so I have a lot of feelings about this. I've been listening to a lot of different music lately, and been thinking about things in my head, and I have so much going on in my life right now. But I got an idea in my head at work the other day, and those that know my ADHD brain well knew the second I got on lunch I was on my phone ignoring the middle aged people I work with and WRITING. So I wrote until like 3am last night, dehydrated and crying internally. But here's the thing that makes this different (if it holds any significance at all, which it probably doesn't), I wrote this for me. Not with the intention of sharing it not with the idea of creating something for others to read, or bothering to care what people thing of it. I think a lot of the time we get so wrapped up in peoples opinions of writing and what others think, that we don't realize it could negatively effect our writing or our creativity. It's a hard realization, especially with imposter syndrome. Taking a break from actively writing for this fandom (and not jazzing up things I never posted) may have been a good decision for my creativity? I was able to focus on my original work, and really decide who I wanted to be as a writer, which is just someone who tells stories regardless of what people think of them. Also, I found you the illness I have could be passed down to any children I have, so maybe me being kind of bummed out about that may have been a little bit of inspiration for this. If you enjoy my work, please feel free to let me know. Also don't @ me, I don't know how horses work. As always, I suck at editing.

Kiran's mind wandered as she brushed her horse, Twister. She couldn't help but wonder how long horses typically lived, and if Twister was considered old for a horse. She hoped that he would outlive her, but she couldn't shake the nagging worry in the back of her mind.

She had asked Cooper about it before, curious if she could still ride him despite his age. How many years did horses usually live for anyway? What was their natural lifestyle like before humans domesticated them? And why was she thinking about this so much lately?

The more she dwelled on these thoughts, the heavier her heart felt. But then she remembered the advice of an old rancher: "You still see me walkin' around don't ya? No matter how ya feel, sometimes you just have to do yer job. Twister understands that. Trust me."

Cooper had been the one to gift her Twister, back when he wasn't as old, and the nickname "old man" came from his temper more so than his age. Cooper had also mentioned that the horse was just as stubborn as she was.

Despite this, she still took the time to talk to him and bring her young daughters to see him whenever they asked. She would lift up Beatrice or Adeline, depending on who needed it at the time; so they could reach out and touch the horse's nose or neck.

Evangeline was different. She didn't need help reaching out to Twister, for he would bow his head down to her. From a young age, the girl had an uncanny affinity for the horse. It was as if they shared an unspoken understanding, an invisible thread of connection that echoed the natural bond between girl and beast. But maybe Kiran had looked too much into it.

Despite his hot temper and stubborn nature, Twister always calmed down when Kiran's children were around. It was a pleasant sight for her, reminiscent of visits to her Uncle in Portia as a child. Her father used to lift her up so she could stand on the edge of the stable where Cloud, a mare, resided. She was tiny back then, but for a long time, all she could think about was how big she was compared to the animals; like her life had meant so little compared to theirs.

"Horses are great at keeping secrets," her father always said. And as a young child, she believed him. She was small and innocent, and no one ever suspected that she could be a reliable confidant. But they underestimated the horses, for they heard everything, even if they couldn't speak. The only secrets she had at five were her own. Even then, she wasn't sure if the horse understood or not when she whispered her hopes for the future: "I wish to be strong, brave, and smart like my Pop!" Of course, Kiran never learned how to keep her voice down back then, so her father heard every word from his spot right beside her. He chuckled at her words, a rich and hearty sound that echoed within the confines of the stable.

"Ah, Kiran," he'd said, placing a hand on her small head, his touch as familiar as the rhythm of a lullaby. "You’ll be stronger, braver, and smarter than your old Pop. You just wait."

Kiran let out a deep breath, placing her hand on the soft material of the saddle horn. As the desert sun slowly dipped below the horizon, its warm orange glow enveloped everything around her. She couldn't help but feel grateful for its beauty. If she could go back in time and tell her childhood self one thing, it would be that this color - this stunning sunset color - would become her favorite.

The passage of time often changed a lot of things, but the true beauty of the desert would never become irrelevant, even as the sandstorms proved to be an occasional annoyance. She urged Twister, who had decided to stop again for seemingly no reason.

Something's not right with this guy, she thought, perhaps a bit uncharitably, but nobody else could hear her inner monologue. And he was just a horse after all.

Maybe he was simply tired of it all. Perhaps he could sense Kiran's mounting frustration with her husband, which drove her to spend all day riding and trying to clear her mind. She knew deep down that Logan's stubbornness was a part of his core identity, and she found some comfort in that. He would never be able to change completely, no matter what they went through. This was his world, and they were just living in it. Just like Twister who, despite the wear and tear of his old bones and the passing seasons, seemed to exist in his own world. A world where he was king, reigning over the vast expanse of dry desert and arid grassland with an iron fist (or rather, hoof). He moved when he wanted to, snacked when he pleased, and didn't give a damn about what anyone else thought. In a way, Kiran found herself envying him.

She missed the simplicity of life that Twister seemed to enjoy. The freedom from family turmoil and husbandly disagreements. The ability to find solace in solitude and strength in stillness.

Andy, now almost a young man, surprised Kiran by expressing his desire to join the Civil Corps. She couldn't help but smile at his words as he explained that watching her work had inspired him to want to be someone people could rely on. Logan, who had been studying a map of the Northern Eufaula range at the table, suddenly looked up with interest.

"What did you say, son?" he asked curiously; even though he had clearly heard what was said. Andy had repeated his plan.

"Well, that's quite an ambitious goal," Logan commented in a calm manner. While Kiran tried to keep her face neutral, she couldn't help but feel proud as the corners of her mouth twitched into a smile.

Logan leaned over his map, deliberately drawing attention to himself. "Who's been filling your head with these ideas, kid?" He looked at her pointedly.

Andy blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the situation as he glanced back and forth between them. Finally, he slowly inched towards the door. "Er, Pa, it's not what you think. We've just been doing a lot around here lately and I..."

Logan held up a hand to cut him off. "That's enough," he said with a stern expression.

Andy crumpled like a wilted plant without sunlight. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing at all." Logan rolled up his map, displaying an unreadable look in his eyes. Kiran watched him and couldn't help but be impressed by how easily such a simple gesture could evoke fear in others. From his posture alone, it was clear that he didn't want to admit his own opinions about Andy not following in his footsteps as a monster hunter. "Anything you want to do, Andy, you go ahead and do it. I'll have your back the whole way through, son."

Logan's tone carried an undertone that Kiran couldn't quite decipher. It could have been concern or fear, but she couldn't blame her husband for feeling that way. She knew it wasn't the work itself that was too difficult or hazardous.

As Andy stared at her with a pleading look, Kiran smiled and nodded, giving him a small smile in return. "Me too, kiddo."

Once Andy had left, Kiran let out a sigh loud enough for her husband to hear. She wanted him to know she caught on to the hint of disappointment in his voice. "Do you want to talk about it, hotshot?"

"What are you talkin' about?" He responded nonchalantly.

She dryly remarked, "I can sense that you're slightly unhappy about Andy's decision to join the Civil Corps."

"What gave it away?"

"Oh, just your body language." She pointed out. He snorted and leaned against the chair he was in, crossing his arms defensively.

"Kiran, you're being a little melodramatic," he grumbled.

"Am I?" She didn't miss a beat as she responded. He nodded.

"Fine then." She stood up. "What was I supposed to say? Tell him no? Because if you were serious about what you told him -"

"Kiran, I didn't mean -"

"That he can do whatever he wants and we'll support him." Her eyes narrowed as she noticed his slight shift in emotions, betraying his attempts to hide his true feelings. "Unless you were lying about that."

His face contorted and he shook his head. "I wasn't, alright? I really wasn't."

A small sigh escaped her lips and her body tensed. "But you didn't tell him the truth about what you were thinking. You just told him what he wanted to hear, without even acknowledging your own thoughts. He's probably not even sure if you're being honest with him." Kiran placed her hand on her face, staring at her husband with frustration. "Is it really so bad that he doesn't want to follow in your footsteps? Who are you to make that decision for him?"

He scowled at her, running his hands through his hair and giving her a disapproving look. "Kiran, I didn't say no to him. What are you on about? I'm allowed to have an opinion, you know. But I would never stop the kid from pursuing his dreams - even if it seems crazy to want to join the Civil Corps." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hardly," she snapped, pointing at him. "It's hardly an opinion when you make assumptions like that. Did you want to tell him no but then change your mind because you were afraid of hurting him or something?"

"What?"

Kiran knew that was the reason, she knew her husband well enough. "You did! You always do that. You have this complex where you pretend not to care so much, but you do it all the time." She spat out the words angrily. "You always find a way to twist things and try to save face with a stupid 'dad joke' or whatever it is you do."

"And you're doing that thing right now, twisting my words to fit your own narrative of me." He rubbed the back of his neck again, another scowl forming on his face - one that was almost endearing, but not the point.

"I don't care," she had mumbled, shrugging.

Kiran let out another frustrated sigh in the dry desert air as she kicked Twister with her heel. She knew she should head back to the house before it got dark and check on everyone, but right now she couldn't bring herself to worry about anyone else.

It was just her and her horse out here. That is, until a snake slithered into view, startling both Kiran and Twister. The snake lunged at them, causing Twister to rear up in defense. Kiran quickly tried to calm her horse down, but before she could even react, she was thrown off and hit the sand with thud. As she fell, she instinctively tried to protect herself from the impact, but there was no stopping it. It wasn't even Twister's fault.

"Ah, fuck." Her words could barely form, but her exclamation was clear nonetheless.

The snake slithered away, along with Twister.

"You fuckhead!" Kiran shouted at the horse, trying to catch her breath as she struggled to stand up. She brushed sand off her face and attempted to regain her balance on the uneven desert ground, feeling a sharp pain in her ankle. "This is just great!"

The sun disappeared from view, leaving the desert shrouded in almost complete darkness. The faint light barely revealed Twister's light brown fur, making it difficult for her to keep track of him. To make matters worse, he was gradually moving further away from her.

Shit. No no no!

Even if Twister did come back, she had no means of getting back onto the saddle, let alone ride the damn animal back home.

"Just hold on, old man," she whispered, pushing away the overwhelming urge to crawl over to some nearby rocks and give in to her fate. In the distance, the horse simply stared at her before nudging the ground with its hoof and trotting off in no particular direction, but still moving away from her.

"Shiiiiit."

Tears gathered in her eyes, but Kiran scolded herself. If she had been paying attention then maybe she would've caught herself.

Maybe she could make the trip back home on foot?

No, there was no way, especially since it was getting darker.

"Ah fuck!" Kiran cursed under her breath, looking around the vast expanse of desert sand around her. The wind started to pick up as she made a sudden decision, heading off in the direction she'd last seen Twister. "Hey, boy! C'mon!" Nothing. Just a slow gait away from her, always maintaining the same pace and keeping distance.

"Twis-ter." She sung quietly, hoping to catch his attention but also cursing him for still being able to pull away and basically run like that. Some old men could really put on a show.

"Why are you like this?" She hissed, watching as he went further and further away. "Fuck you, then." her voice cracked, tears spilling over now, threatening to blind her in the midst of trying to follow him. "I hate you! Fuuuuuuuuck yoooooou."

As she scanned her surroundings; noticed a cluster of rocks not too far away. If she walked towards them, she could find shelter from any strong winds that may blow in the night. Fire was what she needed now, even though it wouldn't completely protect her from the elements or ease the throbbing pain in her ankle. In her stubbornness, she hadn't thought about the consequences of walking such a distance, but she would just have to bear through it. And so she did, taking a deep breath before lowering herself to the ground and searching for sticks under the faint light of the moon. Building a fire was her only hope, and Kiran couldn't help but feel grateful to her late father for teaching her the basics of survival. It was a skill she rarely had to use, but one that was coming in handy now.

Despite her better judgment, she began to gather whatever scraps of wood she could find. Tossing them onto the pile, she struck them together with increasing force and frustration until they were beyond salvageable. A loud hissing sound filled the air, mirroring the anger building inside of her. Swirling emotions churned in her stomach like a ball of fire, coming in quick bursts before dissipating into a hollow feeling. It was a sensation she couldn't quite explain; almost like being deprived of all sensory input. But then, a single spark caught among the dusty ground and dry twigs, causing the desert to light up in a warm orange glow as the flame spread across the pile beneath her hands.

Kiran gazed into the flickering flames, her hand burning from the heat that radiated off them. She pulled back, but couldn't tear her eyes away from the mesmerizing fire. It was her only source of warmth in this vast desert where she knew no one would come to look for her.

No, she couldn't doubt it. Logan wasn't foolish enough to believe she was simply out for a ride. One of her daughters would stumble in, most likely Adeline, complaining about Evangeline once again stirring up trouble because, at ten years old, Evangeline always had to have the last word. And then Logan would ask "Where's your mother?" and they would all realize, oh, her horse is missing too...

They would surely figure out that she had gone on an angry solo ride. And Logan would definitely know to search for her. He wasn't as skilled at handling their daughters' arguments without Kiran there to mediate. He often chose sides based on what he thought was fair or funny--which the girls weren't interested in hearing; they wanted their mother's comfort. They needed their mother. And their mother was somewhere alone and vulnerable in the darkness. Because she had made a habit of neglecting herself and believing that she didn't matter. Sometimes...

She only hoped there was some type of argument to prompt this search in the first place.

The children were all well-behaved and kind. Occasionally they would bicker and tattle on each other, but at their core, they were good kids. However, when watching Evangeline interact with her younger sisters, one could never have predicted the outcome of their relationship. She was not only intelligent, but she also knew how to manipulate the system. Adeline was known for pestering her father, but he only had himself to blame for being overprotective due to her anemia. Beatrice was still young at five years old, so her personality was still developing. But she enjoyed spending time outside, often wandering off to a nearby tree or playing with the chickens in the backyard. As for Andy, he had a strong sense of family and treated his sisters as if they were his own blood. He taught them valuable skills like bug-catching, reading, and using a slingshot accurately - never once complaining about being the only boy in the household.

"Where are you, Yakboy?" She huffed. She knew she was alone, a good few miles from town. And it was getting pretty fucking cold. Cursing her own forgetfulness, Kiran adjusted the coat tighter around her, staring out to the vast expanse of sands before her.

It wasn't cold enough yet for her to completely freeze. Most would assume it wouldn't ever get to that point in the desert, and honestly she could barely remember if there had been a time, but she knew cold. Her fingers ached, as she rubbed them to keep them warm against the fire.

"I fucked up. As usual." She muttered, though, an almost proud sort of sound danced across her lips in a light-hearted chuckle that erupted in her. She looked out across the desert before her, and for a second the flames almost seemed to change in height, but the rest of the desert was eerily still.

She gazed up at the night sky, filled with twinkling stars and a crescent moon. Perhaps Logan would tell their children a bedtime story tonight, one of his many wild tales from his real-life adventures. The girls adored his stories; they never had to fear monsters under their beds because their father was the bravest man in the world. Always able to vanquish any foe.

"Alright, alright," he would say with a grin, raising his hands in mock surrender before plopping down on the floor and lifting up the comforter to peak underneath for any supposed monsters. "Aha, there he is," he'd declare with a smirk.

"Daddy, did you get him?" Little Beatrice would ask eagerly.

He'd snort and widen his grin, "oh yeah, I got him good. He won't be coming back anytime soon. One look at me and he scurried back through the vents."

With an exaggerated expression of triumph or accomplishment, he would entertain them and make them believe that he could conquer any enemy with just a glance. Maybe they didn't fully understand what an enemy was like their father did, but that was okay. They wouldn't have to.

Sometimes Kiran would look at her children and wonder if they were too young, too pure and kind to understand the darkness her and Logan had faced. They would grow up without truly comprehending the trauma their parents endured and how it shaped their lives. But she never voiced these thoughts to Logan; she had shared her fears of spiders and scorpions with him. But his fears never stopped him. And she knew they never would.

But each of the girls had their own struggles and challenges to face, and Kiran acknowledged that there were ups and downs to being a mother. But ultimately, she believed it was worth it to be able to give her children something Logan never had: a loving mother. A mama who truly cared for them.

She let out a deep sigh, leaning her body against the cold rock. Despite feeling exhausted and freezing, she knew she had to tough it out. If she gave up now, death was a very real possibility. The sound of something skittering by caught her attention, but she didn't bother investigating.

Her mind wandered to her regrets and her own shortcomings. She despised how much of a burden she used to be, and even now still felt like one. Logan had been similar to Twister in some ways - kind yet stubborn as hell. He never let anything get past him.

But she loved him for his kindness and thoughtfulness, always putting others before himself without outwardly showing it. It was almost ironic how different they were as a couple, yet also oddly similar. They both had the hearts of heroes, despite their differences.

She drifted off like that - the fire crackling and glowing slightly, but the noise not disrupting her. If anything, it comforted her, knowing it was slowly heating her skin and warming her bones and body.

She pictured those icy blue eyes. How passionate he was about everything he believed in - that was so admirable.

However, there were moments when he could be an irritating jerk, laughing at something that was actually just immature. But she would have to tolerate it - even though it annoyed her - because deep down, he truly was a caring and loving person. After all, he was her husband, her partner in mischief, and the father of her kids. She couldn't deny how much she loved him, despite his occasional flaws. The carbon copies of him were constantly around as well, the mischievous little fuckers who knew exactly how to push both their buttons. But she would not trade it for the world.

She jolted awake, maybe hours later, to the fire dwindling and a damp sensation on her forehead. Twister sniffed at her and nudged her gently with his nose. Kiran sat up quickly, almost pushing away her horse before realizing who it was.

"Twister!" She exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes as she leaned against the rock, brushing her blue hair out of her face with a sigh of relief. Then came a soft thud as Logan dismounted from the saddle. Twister seemed unphased, but Logan approached with a look of concern etched into his features.

"What happened here?" He asked gruffly, a hint of seriousness underlying his rough voice.

Kiran pointed to her ankle, which was swelling up slightly, and he noticed her face had traces of tears. He knelt next to her, rolling up her jeans past her knee to survey the damage. "Shit."

He removed his hat and placed it gently beside him. She could see the disapproving look in his eyes, and she hated it. It was the same look he always gave her when she did something reckless or foolish. He reached out to touch her ankle, trying to assess the damage. "You should have known better, Kiran," he said sternly, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. Kiran couldn't help but wince as his hands moved over her injured ankle; it was probably a sprain, or maybe even something worse.

"Twister got spooked. I don't control how snakes work, dumbass."

A small chuckle escaped his throat, but it was clear that he never stopped worrying. That's just who he was. "Horses are instinctively flight animals," he said. "You were lucky the old man had the sense to find his way back home. Otherwise-"

"My family would have shrunk to just five members." Kiran interrupted, sitting up and causing Logan to sigh and adjust his position in the sand. "Sorry."

"I don't know what to say," he said, as usual, struggling for words. Instead of continuing, he simply closed his mouth monetarily. "Do you want some water?" Logan offered, pulling out his canteen.

Kiran made a face but then nodded her head. "I owe that old horse my life. He deserves retirement." She smiled, reaching for the canteen and unscrewing the cap.

"Sounds fair. Is your ankle going to give us any more trouble?" Logan examined her swollen ankle, gently moving it with his fingers. Kiran winced in pain.

"Yeah, it might. I don't think it's broken, but it still hurts." She took a long drink from the canteen.

"You had me really worried."

"Was it before or after you thought about being a single father?" Kiran teased with a smirk, taking another sip from the canteen before offering it to him. "But seriously, I appreciate you coming to get me."

"Couldn't exactly not come out here to get my damn wife," his voice sounded like he was offended but his grin showed a different story. "Got at least three daughters that'll be askin' where ya gone off too. And if anything, you know you're Twister's favorite. Let's get you up, darlin'." He stood, holding a hand out to her to help her up, but as soon as she attempted to put weight on her bad foot, she collapsed into him.

"Ow ow ow-" she clung to him, gripping his shirt tightly with closed fists. "Fuck..."

He exhaled a shaky breath and wrapped his arm around her, helping her to stand. Kiran leaned on a nearby rock for support, trying to relieve some of the weight from her injured ankle, though she still needed assistance. She shot Twister an angry glare, although she couldn't deny her affection for him.

"Stupid piece of horseshit - don't give me that look - ow, yes, it's your fault," she continued her rant, glancing to Logan to see him; a half-assed attempt to hide his amused grin. "Nothing funny about this. Asshole."

Logan tilted his head, his smile finally coming through. "Well, it wouldn't be the first time-"

"We agreed not to talk about the last time."

This caused Logan to laugh softly and shake his head. He came forward, putting his hands on her shoulders. "You're something else, you know that?"

Kiran gave him a look. "Yes, I'm amazing and strong, Logan. You only tell me that every fucking day." She paused, mocking his accent when she continued and quoted him, "You're somethin' else, woman."

His grin widened even further. "Heh," he let his thumbs roll in gentle circles against her shoulders. "You could kill a man with words if you ever tried." He tilted his head, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead, thumb brushing through her hair that was swept by the breeze.

She smiled at this, leaning into him, tilting her head up towards him. "Don't underestimate my creativity. I can do great things," she murmured, her words a gentle brush against his collarbone that rose goosebumps on his skin. His blue eyes nearly bored a hole into her from staring, she blushed harder under his gaze, eyes meeting for only a moment.

"Right," he acknowledged her, bringing his lips to graze hers gently. It was only moments. It was barely a connection. A light touch that felt like a spark of electricity hitting a wire.

To say their relationship was an electric storm would have been the most accurate. Their lives had been entangled and turned upside down by storms and violent waves, and their energies collided when they met.

She smiled, breathless, into the kiss. All the feelings of loss and desperation that had drawn her to that fire had seemed to just disappear, leaving them both wrapped up in one another and longing for something. A mutual yearning that ran so deep and true. They had found something beautiful - something perfect - in each other, and to separate from that would have left them empty and starving.

Logan smiled, slipping a finger under her chin and tilting her face up slightly so he could see her clearly. "What can I do to make sure this doesn't happen again?" he rasped gently, running his fingers under the hair and to the nape of her neck.

She loved the feeling of his fingers against her skin, trailing delicately and feather light. The intimacy, the feelings and the emotions that bubbled up when they touched was inexplicable, leaving her to want nothing else.

"You could tie me down," Kiran laughed hoarsely. "Put a leash on my ankle. Chain me. Hell, you could've probably - you know..." She couldn't help it. Even teasing had its merits. And doing anything to get his blood rushing and make him angry (or something else) always had it's perks.

Logan chuckled. "Really? You've been in the desert too long," he smirked, placing a hand on her waist. Kiran's smile nearly matched his. She watched him, enraptured in their dance.

"I hate to make you mad," She poked at his chest. Kiran adjusted herself, pulling her hips closer. "But you get mad too easily."

He was listening, turning his head slightly to show he was focused, as much as his eyes seemed glazed over when he was just watching her. Her words struck him deep, sometimes, or so she supposed. Either it was her words or his own worries that would do it. As much as he ignored her teasing, Logan had proved to have a protective side. Everyday it showed more and more.

"Good point," he relented, but Kiran didn't reply. His lips formed a thin, straight line before continuing, "its just that," his voice deepened, rough and scratchy, a voice she'd hear more than often - a voice she had always heard when they were alone like this - when he was calm, and confident. Like his heart was beating just for her.

"I couldn't stand it if I lost you," the words were smooth, sincere, slow-dripping and raw like an open wound, the color and life dying out; like it had only been a taste of how much he really feared that. The look on her face left no doubt about how hard it was for him to admit that.

"You won't," Kiran took his face in her hands, eyes boring deep into his. She was smiling at him, in a way.

Logan smirked, a calloused hand coming to rest on her upper back. "Can't exactly plan a rescue out here. So I'd like to reduce your chances of becoming snake bait," he pulled her closer.

"Let's get me home," Kiran said with a laugh, their breaths mingling in the air. They both moved closer to each other instinctively. Logan leaned in first, followed by Kiran as their lips met in an urgent and passionate kiss. She melted into him effortlessly, a smile forming on her lips. He chuckled softly, reminding her to be cautious, but it was quickly forgotten as she eagerly sought to taste him again.

Kiran felt his hands on her body, gentle yet powerful, a perfect contrast to the rest of his strong physique. She deepened the kiss, feeling her heart racing with excitement. And she could feel his heart beating just as fast against hers, their frantic rhythms matching perfectly. She let out a soft sigh and pulled at his shirt, craving more contact for her burning core. He complied eagerly, pulling her closer with his arm around her back.

She moaned softly, trying to keep quiet lest anyone hear them in this open desert space. It made her blush to think about it - there they were, pressed together intimately as husband and wife in the middle of nowhere. Her good leg was able to support her weight as their tongues explored each other passionately. It was almost too much to handle.

But Logan maintained some sense of control and took charge of the situation. However, that didn't stop Kiran from rocking her hips against his thigh and sliding her hand under his shirt to feel his muscles flex beneath her touch. She had him right where she wanted him - smitten and helpless against her trembling body as she struggled to contain both her desires and her breathless gasps.

Twister made a noise.

Kiran broke apart, Logan let his forehead fall to her shoulder and her hand had moved to his head, fingers running through his silver hair. Logan moved, his breath hot and heavy on her, a steady drum against her throat. Logan was hot, too, face flushed as he attempted to remember his composure, muttering swears like a mantra as his grip on her loosened, his gaze landing on the horse, who only snorted.

She knew what Twister was telling them. To get a move on.

"Dammit," Logan whispered, clearly frustrated. He leaned into her, his shoulders falling slightly, slowly trying to remove himself from her but Kiran tangled her fingers into his hair and refused to let him go, trying to savor what she could. She let out a quiet, teasing laugh at his own cursing, glancing to her horse in amusement and smiling when her mind wandered. She hoped that maybe, if her eyes screwed shut tight enough, he would give up, tell Twister to go screw himself and he would fuck her mercilessly. Unfortunately, the universe seemed against them. Or fate was cruel. Or perhaps Twister was simply a horse of impeccable timing.

Logan ran his fingers through his hair and placed his hat on his head with a heavy sigh. He glared at the horse. "Don't you have anythin' better to do?"

Twister snorted, almost as if he understood. But it was more likely that he was just tired and wanted to go back home.

"Damn horse," Logan grumbled, causing Kiran to laugh in a hoarse cough. She stumbled away from him, managing to stand for a brief moment before nearly falling again. He caught her quickly, concern etched onto his face.

"Shit," he sprang into action immediately. Twister was quiet, as if sensing something was wrong and moving closer to them.

"We gotta get you home, woman."

"No shit," she managed, her voice slightly hysterical as he hooked an arm under her legs and his other supported her back, lifting her up against his chest. The movement silenced her suddenly, and for a few seconds she listened to the sound of his footprints against the coarse sand. Twister was waiting patiently, bobbing his head lightly, watching them. He kept going until he stopped next to Twister.

"Am I too much for you to handle?" Kiran asked, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "I did have three kids, after all." Her admission caught him off guard, but he didn't let it show as he helped her onto the saddle.

"It's not polite for a man to comment on a woman's weight," Logan replied, trying to lighten the mood as he patted her knee reassuringly. "Just scoot forward a bit more, will ya?"

She followed his instructions, shifting as far forward as possible to give him room to climb onto the saddle behind her. "Okay, okay," she mumbled, gripping the reins tightly. The soft sound of leather rubbing against each other filled their ears as Logan settled into place behind her.

With a smirk, she said, "Just this once, I'll let you be in charge."

He chuckled softly and reached for the horse's reins. "Noted," he muttered before clicking his tongue.

Twister took a step forward, but only one.

Kiran wondered how Logan managed to get him back out here again. Perhaps it was Twister's instinctive knowledge of her whereabouts that saved her. But she didn't mention it - this situation was enough to deal with. It was a miracle that the old man even showed up, and both Kiran and Logan knew it.

She heard Logan huff behind her as he firmly grasped the reins and attempted once more to lead the steed home. Twister made a noise, almost as if he was annoyed.

"Listen to me," Logan's voice had an edge to it that startled Kiran. "You've done a lot for us today; you owe us just a little bit more, don't you, you old bastard?"

Twister seemed hesitant to move, even after Logan nudged him again. Kiran couldn't help but chuckle at the stubbornness of the beast, but she knew it wouldn't do any good.

"Come on, Twister," she urged, patting his neck gently. The old stallion finally obliged and began to move. A wave of relief and gratitude washed over Kiran, causing her body to relax.

Under his breath, Logan grumbled about the horse having an attitude, but Kiran simply smiled - the expression seemed permanently fixed on her face now. And as they continued their journey, that smile only grew wider and more intense.

"He's just mad two people are on him." She commented, looking down and watching the sand hit the horse's legs. "He's getting old, he's too picky with who rides him."

"He's always been picky, you're the only one he listens to anyway."

"I happen to have that effect on people," she heard his laugh and turned her head toward it.

"Sure." His response was cut short by the need to speak to Twister, asking the horse to hurry up just this once, as if the beast could understand them. Of course he did, in a way. But in Twisters world this meant taking his time. Eventually his hooves echoed on the railway bridge just before town.

"How long was I out there?" Kiran mumbled, noting that the lights were all off. The residents must have been in bed, or about to be, anyway. How long had she been gone? "What time is it?"

"Few hours," Logan muttered, exhaustion in his voice. Twister was obviously tired, his steps heavier, pausing every few feet to be sure where he was walking, his head bobbing. He must have been exhausted after carrying them. But soon they were at the gate, a familiar sight. This was where Twister could finally rest - so he halted and refused to take another step forward.

Logan looked over to their house, sighing and muttering about the horse. "At least we're not waitin' for him anymore. My ass hurts."

He reached out to pat Kiran and then dismounted from his horse, beckoning for her to come down as well. She appeared a bit bashful but still managed to smile, lowering herself into his waiting arms. He made sure to hold her securely as she alighted from the horse. She winced slightly, clearly in pain.

"Thank you both," she said, placing her hand on Logan's chest and staying close to him for support. She found her footing and pulled on Twister's reins with determination.

The horse shook his head, his ears pinned back in a sign of frustration. She affectionately ruffled his white forelock, noticing that he needed some grooming. His tail was tangled and his hooves were caked with dirt, but he seemed more interested in taking a rest at the moment.

Logan returned his attention to the horse, expressing his gratitude through gentle pets and pats on the neck. He then carefully picked up the woman, much to her disappointment as it meant no more freedom to move around. However, she was relieved to not have to hobble anymore. Once inside, Logan released a sigh of relief as he shut the front door behind them and gently placed her on the couch. Despite feeling uncomfortably warm, she smiled at him. He set his hat down on the nearby table and took a seat in the chair next to her. It looked like he collapsed into it more than anything else.

"My ankle," she reminded him.

"Right," he replied absentmindedly, looking exhausted and drained. But he had always been handsome to her. He tilted his head towards the stairs and called out for Andy. "Andy! Get down here!"

There was a mumble and shuffle from above before the silhouette of the young man appeared, rubbing his eyes sleepily in the dim light. "What is it, Pa?" The boy's voice was heavy with sleep, his hair tousled in a way that reminded Kiran of Twister's forelock.

"Ma hurt her ankle," Logan explained. His tone held an unquestionable authority yet a softness that only revealed itself when he spoke to family. Andy's gaze turned to her and widened slightly at the sight of her sitting there, obviously in pain but still managing to hold onto that ever-present smile.

"Oh fu - shoot, you okay Ma?" Kiran nodded, her smile calming Andy’s worry slightly. "Just twisted it a bit." she conceded. She glanced towards Logan, who was eyeing the stairs, no doubt thinking about finding their stash of bandages and painkillers hidden away upstairs. Andy, followed his gaze, nodded once before disappearing up the staircase.

"I talked to him, ya know." Logan admitted this like he was admitting to doing something he wasn't supposed to - something wrong. She looked at him, curious, and watched him try to hide his embarrassment in his hand when he rubbed his chin, clearly enjoying the reprieve for his poor knees that was being offered in his seat. "He made me talk it out," the slightest smile tugged at his mouth.

"You boys have been bonding?" She played it dumb, of course, knowing full well that the young man upstairs wanted, no, needed a father figure and a brother who didn't hide behind some film of not projecting emotions clearly.

"Naw, I mean, he just sat there. Told him I felt some way about him not taking after me." As he spoke, he got out of the chair, moving to where Kiran was on the couch and flopping down again. "Boots, woman. Take those damn things off." He pointed, but patted his thigh regardless. There was no question, he wanted her leg on him so he could check on her ankle.

She shook her head, mumbling that he was impatient as she shuffled her body on the old sofa until she got comfortable again. "And what did he say?" Kiran's ankle pulsed with an ache.

He grasped her boot gently, pulling at the laces and beginning to ease the article off of her leg. "He said he respects me, a lot. But," he laughed, "he's nothing like me. That if he has to be anyone he wants to be like you. I can't even be mad. He's a great kid, stubborn as hell, but-"

The sound of the boy's footsteps caught the attention of the two adults, who turned to see him returning downstairs. Andy carried an old, worn medical kit, with Evangeline and Adeline following closely behind him. The youngest child, Beatrice, remained upstairs as she was the deepest sleeper among them. With his brows furrowed in concern, Andy walked briskly towards them. His sisters trailed behind him, with Adeline appearing to be the most tired as she let out a big yawn and rubbed her eyes while leaning on Evangeline's shoulder for support.

As Logan continued to work on the boot, easing it past Kiran's swollen ankle, he shot a glance towards the gathering crowd of youngsters. The soft lamplight illuminated their concerned faces.

Andy took a seat on the armrest of the couch, opening up the worn kit with practiced ease.

Adeline rushed to her mother's side with concern, wrapping her in a tight embrace. "Mama, did you hurt your ankle? I was so worried!"

"I'm home now, Addie," Kiran replied, hugging her daughter back just as tightly. She found comfort in her child's presence, not wanting to let go even when Evangeline joined them in the hug.

"We're so glad you're safe, Mama," Evangeline chimed in, kissing her mother's cheek. Kiran couldn't help but smile at her daughters' affection.

"Yes, I'm okay. Even though I took a little tumble."

Evangeline's surprise was evident in her tone. "You fell?" she asked Kiran, who looked up at her husband's cracked grin.

"Yeah," Kiran admitted sheepishly. "Right off the saddle."

Adeline, always curious, had her mouth slightly open, ready to bombard Kiran with questions. Logan quickly intervened.

"It was quite a fall," he explained. He delicately held Kiran's injured ankle as if it were about to explode. Adeline leaned forward eagerly, wanting to hear all about her mother's accident. But Kiran was not amused; she knew her injury was not life-threatening.

"Thankfully, I survived thanks to my hero over here," Kiran said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Logan couldn't resist exaggerating his role in saving her.

"I had to carry her... on the back of Old Twister!" he exclaimed, emphasizing each word for effect. Kiran couldn't help but scoff and pout like an offended five-year-old - except hers was asleep upstairs.

"Well, thank you very much," she said dryly, knowing that even if Logan hadn't been there, she would have found a way back home - maybe?

Logan's smile transformed into a cocky smirk as he refocused on the injured ankle. His thumb assumed a gentle, circular motion, massaging the exact spot where the worst pain was located. "Ice, anybody?" he asked nonchalantly, his voice oozing with confidence.

She would have kicked him if she could, but her injured ankle prevented any sort of retaliation, and she fought the urge to curse from the pain.

Evangeline spoke up eagerly. "I'll go get it!" she declared, causing Adeline to gasp quietly as she watched her sprint out of the room.

"What's my job?" Adeline asked, rubbing her tired eyes. "I want to help."

Kiran lovingly ran her hand through her daughter's beautiful white hair, gazing at her admiringly. "Go get Daddy some water, I think he's pretty thirsty," she instructed. As Adeline obediently jumped off the couch and scurried to the kitchen, Kiran turned her attention back to Logan. She couldn't help but smirk at his cocky attitude.

"How do you manage them?" He asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Kiran countered, trying to stifle a laugh by biting her lip.

"Just-" He gestured with his hands, struggling to find the right words. "Handle them."

She couldn't contain her laughter any longer. He watched her with a slight chuckle, as if he had given up trying to understand.

"What's so difficult? They're just girls, not wild animals."

"Sometimes they don't seem all that different," he muttered, his brow furrowing again. "But then again, what if-"

"Comparing them to wild animals doesn't make me like you any more," her statement cut off his train of thought, which probably wasn't going anywhere useful.

Logan huffed and glanced towards the other room, where Evangeline now emerged.

"Here, Daddy," She handed him a bag of ice wrapped in cloth. "Be careful, it's melting," she warned.

"Thanks kiddo," Logan said, taking it carefully with one hand while keeping Kiran's ankle elevated and steadied with the other. His touch was gentle and comforting as he pressed the ice against her swollen ankle, causing her to let out a soft grunt.

"Thank you," she added sweetly, smiling gratefully at her daughter.

"I got the water!" Adeline chirped as she returned to the room. Kiran almost gasped at the sight of the tall glass filled nearly to the brim, with only a few drops spilling over the sides. The little girl her father without spilling a drop.

He played along and took it from her. "Trying to drown me?" He joked, but seeing Adeline's joyful expression and Kiran's disapproving frown, he didn't dare set the full glass down. Instead, he took a long drink from it, emptying some of the liquid. "There, now there's enough for me." He handed the water back to Adeline, who grinned and placed it on the table within his reach.

"Here Ma, take these." Andy handed her a pair of white pills from a small brown bottle, the light from the hanging lamp casting dancing shadows upon his face. The quietness of the room was shattered by the rattling sound when he put the cap back on the bottle.

"Light," Kiran said with a chuckle, "it's like a hospital ward in here."

"What?" Andy feigned innocence with an innocent shrug.

"I mean, what's next? You going to take my blood pressure?" she asked, taking the pills from his hand and washing them down with a sip of water Adeline offered her.

"Andy, see to Twister. Brush him off, he deserves it." Logan instructed.

Andy didn't care to object and nodded. The floorboards creaked under his weight as he walked towards the door, pulling on his boots. "Sure thing," he said, his voice filled with the carefree confidence of youth.

Logan looked up at Evangeline and spoke again, "I think it's time to call it a night, ladies. We've had enough accidents for one evening. I can't imagine sleepin' on the couch after all this excitement."

Evangeline's brow furrowed in confusion as she asked, "Are you going to move her?" Her face brightened with the thought of executing a daring rescue.

"Yeah, I'll take her to bed. She'll have a tough time tomorrow with that sprained ankle. We don't want her waking up in pain, do we?"

Adeline bounced on the sofa, watching her father closely. He met her gaze but held back from saying anything entertaining for her sake. However, before Logan could even consider playing along, Evangeline chimed in again.

"No, we definitely don't want that to happen, Daddy."

"Alright then," he rubbed his chin as he thought. He took a moment to stare at the floor, or maybe longer - too long for simply looking at an object without any significance. Kiran knew what he was doing; he was pretending to include their opinions so he wouldn't have to stand up right away.

She waited a moment before speaking up. "So, what's going through your minds?"

"Someone needs to help you move," Adeline chimed in, following her father's lead. She was just like him. Logan nodded, deep in thought as he rubbed his chin and tapped his finger against his lips in consideration.

"You are absolutely right," he looked up, his expression beaming. "Thank you, Addie, you think for the rest of us."

She giggled, bowing her head, rubbing her eyes and playing a proper little girl.

"Oh hush," Kiran muttered, offering him a hand. He smiled as he took it, pulling up on it gently - careful not to drag her with him as he stood.

"What're you on about?"

"She knows you're faking." Kiran claimed.

Adeline shook her head. "He only looks at the floor like that when he's thinking!"

Logan scoffed, as if this was a ridiculous notion, and shook his head. "Am I really that obvious?"

"No way," Adeline shook her head, looking to her sister for confirmation, who nodded and hummed quietly in agreement. It was their solidarity against him, and to his credit, he didn't seem all that offended. He wouldn't have had it any other way, really, even if the youngsters weren't aware of it.

He didn't continue the argument. Mostly because it was already losing his attention, and partly because his goal was to get Kiran to the bedroom - for the time being that was much more pressing than joking with the girls.

"I got you." He warned, though he wasn't cruel enough to do anything without her permission. Just having the option made her mouth twitch, annoyed, but she nodded and let him swoop in for the pick up. "No use fightin' it, honey, you're hurt."

She grumbled, frustrated with the current situation. She knew it was necessary, but still couldn't accept the fact that she had to endure it. Her husband's embrace did little to ease her discomfort from her injured leg and achy ankle. She concentrated on ignoring her children who were humming and giggling behind her, commenting on how ridiculous it all seemed. If she could block them out completely, maybe she could forget about the incident and enjoy the moment.

The journey up the stairs was quick. He gently placed her feet on the smooth hardwood floor and led her, one cautious step at a time, to the bed. She winced, wondering how she managed to get hurt again. As if she could ever forget the memory of falling from old Twister long enough to relax. She sat down slowly, his hands supporting her as she lowered herself onto the soft mattress.

"Careful, hun," Logan advised, just as he grabbed an extra pillow from the other side of the bed, fluffing it up briefly. "Think you can get your foot up here?" She obliged, placing her foot on the pillow. "Perfect."

"Glad it pleases you." She grumbled.

"How's it feel?" He asked, avoiding her ire, and took a seat at the end of the bed.

"It hurts, but I'll live." She gave the response as if nothing had happened. That was the intent, anyway.

"Had a feeling you'd say that." His hands moved to the sock she wore, which he began to roll off as gently as possible.

"No, it's okay. Leave it." She sighed.

Logan laughed and shook his head. "It's fine, Kiran." But he tried not to be rough about it as he tugged the material down the length of her foot. She bit her lip and sucked in a quiet breath through her teeth when he had it off.

"See, that wasn't so bad," he said, a note of triumph in his voice. Kiran simply rolled her eyes in response.

He examined her foot, studying the raised blue-purple bruise forming on her ankle. She watched as his face creased with worry. It was a look she knew all too well; Logan wore it often when he thought no one was looking, but she always noticed.

"Stop fretting," she murmured.

"It could have been worse," he mumbled, though she thought his words were a bit insensitive. She didn't often get hurt this badly. His hands gently traced over her swollen skin, his mouth twisting in sympathy. He reached up to hold her shoulders carefully. "Lie down. Let me know if you need to move, okay?"

She nodded obediently.

"Good girl." He couldn't resist the chance to tease her, his wink and faint laughter giving him away.

She rolled her eyes again. "Why don't you go check on the kids? You'll be back soon enough."

"Won't miss me while I'm gone?" he asked with a sly grin. She shook her head and turned over.

"Not a chance."

He snorted and gave her back a brief pat before leaving her alone in the room, lit only by the lamp on her bedside table.

The sound of shuffling footsteps echoed down the hallway, accompanied by occasional giggles. Logan was likely moments away from stepping in to settle things. Not that he minded the disturbance; some days, chaos was a welcome change. Other days, not so much. She could hear their incessant questions from the next room over as Logan expertly fielded them for the time being. She was so used to his voice that she could almost hear every word he said, even when he spoke softly.

"Well, Addie, that's a great question. Yeah, I think we should get him a carrot tomorrow." As Logan agreed with Adeline's request, Evangeline started to speak up, suggesting that Twister deserved two carrots instead. His response was hardly a disagreement with her opinion. "Alright, alright. He definitely deserves it after saving Mama. We'll get em for him bright and early tomorrow morning. Got it?"

Evangeline must have been satisfied with his answer because they didn't vocalize any further. A moment later, Logan entered the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind him. "Well, it's one o'clock in the morning."

"Well," Kiran smiled coyly, "That means it's technically not tomorrow yet. They could get him three carrots."

He chuckled and rubbed his eyes before speaking. "You'd think they would want to sleep in a little longer. Maybe they just enjoy being around you as much as I do."

Kiran returned his smile, tilting her head slightly. He perched on the edge of the bed. He didn't look as tired as she had expected. Most likely he was trying to appear strong for her sake, even now.

"Do you need help changing?" he asked, although his tone suggested that he knew she could handle it on her own. He was willing to risk her anger in order to take care of her.

She grunted in response and shifted, attempting to sit up. Logan leaned forward and caught her shoulder, stopping her movement. "What did I tell you?"

"You asked a question, I think I can handle a few seconds without you monitoring me," she retorted, pulling off her shirt - too exhausted to stand and not wanting him to see her from behind anyway.

"Yes, ma'am." Logan huffed, waiting until she removed the bra; tossing it aside while the loose gray sleeping tee replaced it. He glanced at her for permission before slowly helping her to the edge of the bed so he could pull down her jeans. His grin when she did was less than comforting.

"So this is how it ends, huh? With me stripping you?" He paused, pursing his lips in deep thought. "There is no right way to put this, is there?"

She pulled back and dropped the jeans into a heap. "I'd like to think that if this is the last time you take my clothes off, there'd be something more special in the air." She raised her eyebrow when she stared at him, waiting for his reply. It only got worse when she saw the color fill his cheeks.

"Oh yeah? You could have fooled me."

"Shut it." She warned, "What are you doing, trying to fight me?"

"Always," he teased, flashing another easy grin. She watched him close, trying to break down this look, searching for something from him. When he bent closer, trying for a kiss, she shoved him in the middle of his chest. She laughed heartily, using him for balance as she pushed. He grunted, eyes wide.

"Oh, you're just full of jokes tonight, ain't ya?" He gasped, touching his chest. "I should be offended, ya know," he crossed his arms, pouting. "My wife, shoving me away."

"You started it. If you want my kindness, you've gotta earn it." She replied quickly. "Can we go to bed, please?"

"Suppose we have no choice." He let the mock defeat slide through his voice, and even so she smiled.

"Careful," she mused. "You know. 'We.' Like we're old or something."

"Is there something wrong with 'we', Kiran?"

"Just calling it like I see it."

"Remind me to kick myself in the mornin', if that's what you'd like," he snickered. He didn't even wait to get permission to stretch out his aching body. Kiran was all the more amused, watching him move his weary limbs. She doubted he really could have denied her any request, even with as much work as he did - there was no way he would have turned her down.

"I hope it's better by the morning." She frowned at her ankle. The thought of bed-rest over several days was more daunting than she expected. Though, the more she turned it over in her mind, the more the feeling was giving way to guilt. Here she was complaining about something that wasn't as bad as it could be, which was her right, wasn't it?

He slid the window ajar - a cool evening breeze to help them sleep soundly. She leaned forward, fiddling with the light as he let the curtains flutter, though they soon settled back against the worn panes. Her eyes darted around the room as she tried to focus and turned the light off, plunging the room into a dull glow of the small night light near the door. He came back to her, a hand moving to brush through her hair.

"Get comfy," he instructed. "That way the swelling will go down some, and you'll have an easier time in the morning."

His words couldn't have meant more, all that he was not telling her was clear to him. He smiled, tender, for once not forcing his charm. She snuggled down into the sheets. When she was sufficiently distracted with getting comfortable, she shut her eyes; feeling the mattress dip beneath his weight. His warmth was a comfort to her. In a whisper, she muttered quietly, "thank you."

The response was an arm wrapping loosely around her waist, a gentle pull towards him. Their heads brushed against each other, and his grip tightened. It was a silent cry, she felt, for her to stay with him and him with her. No matter what he had been through in these strange lands, and no matter what he thought about it, she was proud of him.

She knew who the real heroes were. He was all hers. And she knew he thought the same about her.

"You're welcome."

Nothing needed to be discussed, nothing else mattered. When the time came to wake, that would be an entirely different matter.

#mtas #mtas fanfiction #mtas builder/logan #mtas logan #mtas builder

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