#because he probs doesnt even care

[megane-sama]

Ogino: *goes into some edgy spiel about murder being a window to a person's soul*

Rei: Alright Sir Kills-a-lot. You go do that.

[radiotorn]

having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.

[kurogxrix]

Sully!family with your children HEADCANONS (1)

⇀ When The Time Comes AU!

-

Jake and Neytiri:

They would both be oh so happy to see their first grandchild for the first time.

Jake would feel himself getting a little old at the news of your bearing, but he would be happy nevertheless.

He can feel his forehead creases triple in amount each him he’s on babysitting duty. He’s had too many children to care for and it’s taking a toll on our poor man.

Neytiri’s the best grandma bye.

She will feed that baby until it gets a chubby lil stomach.

Jake wanted to murder mo’rata, your mate after hearing that you were pregnant.

Like he accepts that the both of you are adults and adults just can’t keep their hands off of each other but nuh uh not with his daughter.

Neytiri understands what it’s like to be a tired mom, so now that nearly all of her children have left her tent to their own, she offers to take care of your baby once in a while.

Jake carves new toys for them because their hand-down ones are lowkey crusty.

He WILL tell your children about the great Toruk Makto.

it feeds his pride as a parent to see your children so engrossed in his stories.

Your children loves Neytiri’s cooking, probably more than yours.

Lo’ak

Eywa, please fear leaving your child with him for even one day.

Your child probably thinks he’s the most fun out of all of their aunts and uncles.

Brings your kid out on adventures.

Probs tells your child to never listen to their father because he didn’t and look at how amazingly he turned out.

Most probably will get in deep shit with your mate afterwards😭

Your children love him so much it’s insane.

Doesn’t teach your kids to be reckless like him tho, that shit nearly killed him too many times.

Ngl he’ll probably have beef with children that your children have beef with. 

Like full on arguing in public and all.

Winds up your children so much like they’re fucking dogs with pent up energy💀.

When he brings them back at the end of the day, one of hanging halfway on his shoulder and the other has their body dangling off his arms.

You’re happy though because sleepy children=calm evening.

Would call you and Mo’rata rabbits if you have many children.

If you all move to Awa’atlu together, your kids are the ones to tease him and tsireya. She loves your children bye.

Your kids are probably lo’aks wingmen or wingwomen.

they all practiced this cool ass walk-in intro thing to do when tsireya walks in the room.

He tries to play the cool guy act by swinging your children each at the same time on his shoulders just to impress her.

It fails though because he underestimated how fast they grew and how heavy they are now.

They all fall face first in the sand but it’s ok because it entertained tsireya.

mission accomplished.

Kiri

She loves taking your child in the forest with her.

Don’t think she’s interested in having children of her own for now, but she’ll spoil and love the hell outta yours.

Shows your children her Pandora jesus powers and they’re lowkey so entranced.

She probably charms wild animals that won’t harm your children into playing with them. Like a yerik.

Now that Tuk is too big to appreciate spending time with her sister (angsty teenager era who?), she loves spending it with your children like she used to with Tuk.

Doesnt mean that they replaced her little sister’s place in her heart, never.

She teaches your kids about nature and that they need to respect it.

She always reassures them that it’s ok to have 5 fingers and a pair of eyebrows <3

Neteyam

Best uncle (in yours and mo’rata’s opinion)

Most reliable babysitter that’s always up to the job.

He’ll probably be mated too at this point, so him and his mate always have some entertainment in watching your children while you and your mate escape on a date.

He’ll be happy if you don’t have a whole football team of babies for him to babysit.

He had to take care of his 3 siblings (plus you even tho you were older) growing up, and he still has nightmares about it.

Your youngest child is a troublemaker like lo’ak, and it gives poor Neteyam ptsd.

Teaches your eldest how to wield a bow just so they can be a badass older sibling like him.

mo’rata would be so mad when he heard that Neteyam was the one that had taught his child how to shoot an arrow. That’s his job as a hunter and a father and he might as well go and murder your little brother.

Tuk

She’s not a kid anymore but she’s probably still young.

You refuse to give her any babysitting duties because you want her to live her youth without having to take care of little ones like you had to with your siblings.

She never grew up with little siblings given that she was the youngest. So she adores your children.

Will give them her old toys. Toys that have been carved for you at first, then passed down to neteyam, kiri, Lo’ak and then herself.

Tuk is sorta traumatized after everything that went on with quaritch so she relives the years that she’s closed off as a kid with her nieces and nephews.

Takes your children on her Ikran only for you to scold her when she comes back. She’s still your baby sister after all so you’re allowed

Mo’at

probs dead atp i’m not even gon’ lie to y’all.

-

[sebsbarnes]

Heyyyy. i have no idea if ur taking requests right now but i have one for when you are. could u do tan x reader where tangerine has an exceptional soft spot for reader and they get on like partner in crime and whenever they are on missions together they are just great buddies who take the piss out of each other the whole time and tangerine kinda just wants to be around her whenever shes around like at gatherings (especially at little parties cuz hes kinda antisocial and shes sort of the same and doesnt want to be by ladybug and marias side all night cuz they are kinda lovey dovey and she gets a little sick of them not confessing their love to each other. i ship ladybug x maria they are just cutie patooties to me) or if she goes out for some fresh air after mission briefings hes by her side and the dynamic is kinda how him and lemon get on if that makes sense. lemon is kinda just amused and shocked that his brother is so fond of her and kinda just loves watching them interact and lemon, ladybug and maria are like amused parents just gossiping about them. i hope u can do this and that it makes sense. love ur works and ur an amazing writer :)

the soft spot i have for tang having a soft spot for the reader ahh<3 so cutie. thank you for supporting me and i hope you enjoy this :) also has everyone been seeing the new aaron pics lately phew!!

tangerine has a soft spot for the reader

warnings: none, prob grammar mistakes! unedited

masterlist

ON THE JOB:

thought lem and tan worked like magic?... Nothing on you and tangerine

you two almost fought over how seamless you worked together bc it would get so annoying sometimes

"c'mon love, i had him!" tangerine would fake tsk after you cut in front of him to shoot the man you were both fighting

"i'm sorry! i got ahead of myself!!"

he'd roll his eyes and pretend to sulk and you would immediately interrupt him- "literally. don't ever make that face again that was horrifying."

"y'know what was horrifying? that shot." tangerine would jest

sometimes even the people you were fighting would stop in confusion because you two were always laughing on the job

"should we continue...or...? we can circle back to this if you'd like?" the enemy would ask, using his gun to gesture between him and the duo

you always ended up way too injured after missions?? to the point it didn't even make sense. your task could be just stand and observe the surroundings without fighting anyone and you somehow ended up with a limp and a bruised shoulder??? no sense.

tangerine would worry so much because truly how did you become battered and bruised???

"do i need'ta stay with you?" he'd ask, the concern in his voice blaringly obvious, "cuz if i have to i'll make lem take on the rest of this job?"

tangerine would be eye-level with you staring so deep into your eyes it felt like he was had burned holes through them

"i'm fine really tang," you'd always wave off when he asked if you were alright

"i'm serious."

"and so am i tangerine, don't be ridiculous."

and even though you'd deliver the sentence with a smile tangerine felt a pang in his chest. he didn't think he was being ridiculous. he was genuinely concerned for your wellbeing.

you would dismiss your injuries and the aches and pains but tangerine would never

AT EVENTS:

tangerine isn't one for big work events... not even in the slightest. he'd rather take on 15 men at once with his bare knuckles then stand around and pretend to be jovial with people he could not care about

but with a work event that means one thing.... you were also be there! and boy did this make the night enjoyable

tangerine would get gloomy though because you were talking to people that you had previous jobs with

if he found himself extremely bored and you were chatting away with someone he would wander over to you and gently grab you wrist giving it a slight pull

you'd get the hint and excuse yourself before vanishing away with tangerine

and you didn't mind, you didn't prefer talking with many people. if you never worked with them on a mission you wouldn't even look their way or try and start a conversation. you were pleased with the small group of acquaintances you had, but ultimately you liked being alone

"thank fuck you pulled me from that conversation, i could see the gears turning in william's head that he'd ask about the kyoto job."

"and what would that old prick have to say, huh?" tangerine rolled his eyes

there was a lot of...criticism of how the job went down

"probably how the brief case went missing in the first place," you shrug

"well that was lemon's fault."

"welllll," your voice rang out in a high-pitched tone

tangerine's eyebrows pulled together, "now what's that all about? lemon was too busy playin' with his fuckin' stickers."

"you could've checked," you countered

"so it's my fault?"

"it's both of your faults."

"i'm about to get a fuckin' headache," he gruffed

you two would be hanging by yourselves observing the people scattered about before your eyes landed on ladybug and maria

"they should really confess their feeling to each other," you'd say nonchalantly and tangerine would follow your eyes over to the pair

"they like each other???"

you would just shoot tangerine a look like really? you can't tell

"ladybug is always talking about how he feels nervous around her and is at a loss for words. the man who never likes anyone calling or texting him because 'it will ruin his state of peacefulness' literally told me he waits at his phone for her to call and when she doesn't all day he gets upset."

tangerine slowly nodded his and he felt his cheeks warm up.

he was getting red because... he felt that way when you were around or when you didn't text him back

never in tangerine's life did he think he'd be able to relate to ladybug

"hey... what's going on with them?" maria asked lemon who had now walked up

lemon laughed a bit looking over to you and tangerine, both of you observing his phone intently

"y'know... i'm not quite sure. i can't tell if he's in love or if it's just friendly. and that asshole would never tell me anyways," lemon would shrug

EVERY DAY LIFE:

you didn't live with the twins but you did live next door

it was much like those sitcoms where the neighbor would just burst through the front door without warning and the owner didn't care

you were tough, don't doubt that, but sometimes you felt scared being in the walls of your apartment alone, even if tangerine and lemon were only separated by a hallway

you didn't admit your fears for awhile but one day after a mission as you stepped outside the building you felt the need to confess

the breeze had been a bit chilly as the sun was setting, you were leaned on the railing with closed eyes when you heard the door open and tangerine's familiar footsteps

"are you ever scared?" you asked him that day

you heard his lighter flick, "at times, yeah. i try not to dwell though."

"i'm terrified in my apartment," you said with a glance to him, the cigarette dangling from his bottom lip

"move in with us," he had said with such quickness

"i spend enough time there being a burden, i could never do that."

"you're never a burden in my eyes."

so while you spent countless hours in their apartment you would clean or cook for them as a form of thank you which they hated.

lemon wacked the cleaning solution out of your hand, "seriously, i'm going to have to start paying you. stop cleaning."

"but-"

"NO!" lemon would laugh, "just sit down and watch tv. you're stressing me out."

there of course were times they were pleased such as when you found yourself hunched over the stove cooking them dinner after a long mission

they'd mutter how good it smells as they approached the kitchen, their suit jackets thrown to the side and watches being unclipped

"this looks so good," tangerine said his body now next to yours

"how was work?" you asked, grabbing plates to set up the food

tangerine's arms cut you off, his arms sliding around your waist, his head coming to rest against yours. you felt his body relax around you and the weight of him leaning against you. he smelt of cigarettes, blood, and the faintest bit of cologne

"fine, now that i'm home," he muttered into your hair, he hoped you didn't notice the way his arms squeezed tighter when he said 'home'

lemon leaned against the wall of the kitchen, a knowing smile on his face as he observed his brother

[justcallmesakira]

hihihihi AUGH i love ur work sm?!! omg if u can fyodor with a younger sister (she has the same level of intelligence of him and works in the doa and his organaization) who is dating dazai? :) I know there are some but i need crack and suggestive!!1

ty and er bye good luck take ur time!

"Fyodor with a sister dating Dazai''

Sypnosis: Your rat brother is anything but happy about the fact that you are dating his only enemy on earth! Good luck on surviving!!!

Genre: crack, suggestive at the end

Warnings: bombing, terrorizz, , mentions of maniupulative behaviour, mentions of verlaine, roblox radgoll, loads of simping words, me being down bad, making out (lol), your mom

A/N: my reqs are currently closed but ehhhh who cares lol also THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE HONESTLY- pls enjoy and reblog i tried my best--- *dies of mental ilness*

How bro-

JUST HOW DID U DO THAT W/O HIM BLASTING DAZAIS INTERNAL ORGANS? 🤯🤯🤯

No bcs fyodor did not even plan to let u meet dazai but ofcourse bcs of the dead apple tower and stuff and since then he had completly fallen inlove with you whether you are dostoevskys sister or not

He prob asked u to do a waltz with him in the mukokukokurokito or whatver the phuck that towers name was when you entered the castle with your brother

Fyodor WAS NOT happy because he saw the flirty glint in dazais eyes when u came

If looks cold kill-.. (KILL ME, RUSSIAN ZADD😍😍---)

And all you went was giggles and flirting back

Fyodor is prob gonna get his own medicine bcs they two are so like each other??? but he still couldnt believe how you with such high intelligence could fall for him???

(fyodor take your anemic medication first)

Dazai obv had some skeptics after you but like the manwhore he is and prob slept with the entierty of yokohama! ofc hes gonna court you as if you might not just use him!!!

Very (not) normal behaviour indeed!!

HELP YOU KNOW THAT ONE INDIAN RIZZLER VS. UWU CAT??? HES LITERLY THAT BUT

Dazai: "I fucked your sister she be screaming high pitch😈" fyodor: "What did you say, you little child i will crush your skull 😡😡😡should have known when i smile, I also play cello, i can be anything Уву"

that was UWU in russian btw-

But in all serious he will try maniupultaing you or gaslighting you into leaving dazai, he cant leave his only family to a man he does not trust! fyodor doesnt even trust himself-

fyodors gonna act a bit more colder then usual bcs of the fact HIS sister is dating someone and that someone is his enemy

Honeslty you go up to say chuuya whos like "why do i get deja vu-" *flashback to verlaine* you: "First time?"

But ofc since you are also extremely smart you somehow convinced him (after playing roblox radgoll with him for 8 hours) to let you atleast join date with dazai

I bet you rizzed up dazai by "He said his favourite colour was blue, so i blew him up😍💣"

*insert proud brother noises*

He speaks in russian or any slavic language whenever you three are in a gathering to mostly embarress dazai

I have seen some hcs on dazai being a collarbone biter so if you were off shoulder shirts and fyodor sees them by chance hes going to glare at you as if you are covered in mud :33

"Sister,,,what. is. that." *nasty side eye to the love bite on your neck*

Dazai 100% one time randomly pulled you into the alley and started aggresively making out with you with his hands literly sprawling all over your body like hes daddy long legs or sth-

Bcs HE KNEW that fyodor had cctv set in that part of the city and fyodor would be raging at the fact that the sluttiest man is touching his precious sister like that

bros gonna forgot abt human rights- oh wait hes russian

IF HE EVER CATCHES YOU TWO THO--

Like making out on some bed or sth hes actually no LIKE ACTUALLY GOING TO throw a whole ass cabinet at dazai with a face full of nothing but malice-

"How dare, an inhuman animal like you touch my very sister" "BRO CHILL I AM YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW--"

And your just trying to stop your brother from commiting murder even though that his hobby ^^

fyodor finally forgot he had anemia bcs now all his focus was to give dazai the most painful death know to the medieval period\

Good luck on stoping your brother from poking a fork in your lovers eye in family dinners!!

A/N: guys ik i am doing the valentines req pls be patient i am trying my best!! i have a relly bad mental health rn so yeahhh-

Divider crds!: @cafekitsune

tags! @silverbladexyz @biscuits-lovely-corner @riiwrites @heartsfourdazai @tojifile @atsquie @atlasnessie @chuuyasboner @yosanosboner @ruanais @darling--angst

[kyleeissilly]

𝒋𝒐𝒉𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒕 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕

𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒍 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒚

sorry if this is shit i was high while writing this ngl..

༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨*:·.༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨*:·.༻¨:·..·:¨༺

A- Aftercare

(what their like after sex)

Johnnies definitely tired after but will run u two a warm shower/bath and help you clean yourself up if your too tired.

wants to make sure u feel loved and cared for !!!

B-Body Parts

(Their favorite body part of their partners and of their own)

i feel like his fav body part of yours is your waist just because he can hold it and he can use it to pull you closer to him,

his fav body part of his is probably like his hands just because of how many photos he takes with his hands infront of his face

C-Cum

(anything to do with cum)

would rather finish inside of you but also rlly likes finishing on your stomach.

D-Dirty Secret

(self explanatory)

honestly is a little bit of a sub sometimes,

E-Experience

(how experienced are they?)

he rlly knows how to use his tongue and loves to eat you out. he knows hes good at it to..

F-Favorite position

(very self explanatory)

Definitely spooning. man loves cuddling in general so whats better than cuddling and sex?

G-Goofy

(Are they more goofy or serious during the act?)

will prob make lil jokes when its appropriate but other than that hes more serious.

H-Hair

(how well groomed? does the carpet match the drapes?)

he usually trims it a little just to make it look neat. and the carpet does not match the drapes since hes a natural blonde.

I-Intimacy

(how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

hes a little awkward the first time you guys did it but now hes definitely a romantic.

J-Jack off

(masturbation headcannon)

jerks off 2-4 times a week because he gets wayyy to nervous to ask and is afraid hes gonna make u uncomfy

K-Kink

(one or more of their kinks)

LOVESSSS to overstimulate you until ur begging him to stop,

neck kissing.... self explanatory..

L-Location

(where he likes to do it)

honestly doesnt like doing it in even semi-public places just because of the risk factor but rlly likes in the bedroom or kitchen sex..

M-Motivation

(what turns them on)

neck kissesss !!!! he LOVESSS them. you give even a SMALL peck on his neck and hes all over you.

N-No

(something he wont do)

degrading. like hes fine with the tame shit but he doesnt want to say something rlly rude to you or hurtful even if you want him to. it makes him feel like a douche.

Oral

(preference in giving or recieving, skill, etc)

hes mastered the art of eating you out. you dont even gotta say nun and hes already got ur legs over his shoulders. he wont deny a blowjob tho,

P-Pace

(how fast or slow they go during)

he will start off gentle to let you adjust to him but once hes about to finish hes definitely speeding up

Q-Quickie

(their opinion on quickies)

Not a big fan of it at all but wont say no. he wants to make sure you feel loved and you know that hes not just using u as a hookup.

R-Risk

(are they down to experiment and try new things? do they take risks when their horny?)

would be down to try new things with you depending on how extreme. he thinks trying new things with you creates a stronger relationship and helps figure out what the other person likes.

S-Stamina

(how many rounds can they go? how long do they last?)

he can go around 2-3 rounds before getting tired but either way he will always make sure you finish.

T-Toys

(do they own them? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

owns a fleshlight but thats it. If you wanted him to use toys on you he would definitely be willing to explore that interest with you.

U-Unfair

(do they tease? if so, how much?)

he doesnt tease you that much but if he wants to then he will.

V-Volume

(how loud are they? what sound do they make)

its mostly muffles grunts or whimpers but when hes close he gets louder.

W-Wild Card

(random headcannon)

loves going shopping with you and watching you try on clothes. also adores when you see something and immediately say smth like "youd look so good in this," to him.

X- X-Ray

(whats going on under their clothes?)

6.7 inches, neat, and slightly curved

Y-Yearning

(how high is their sex drive?)

2-3 times a week but will definitely do it more if you wanted it.

Z-Zzz

(how long does it take for them to fall asleep after?)

hes exhausted afterwards but needs to make sure your alright and comfortable before falling asleep with his arms wrapped around ur waist.

[dracodazaii]

ok ive just had another thought from bingewatching ppls reactions to hotd to get a quick recap

ive heard TB stans blame aemond for losing control of vhagar in a way like “he cant control her cos of his weakened blood” and “his connection to dragons is sullied by hightower blood” but i literally just rewatched that scene and arrax literally sets vhagars face on fire like no wonder granny vhagar gets pissed and eats them 😭

ik luces dragon is a baby and its is kinda understandable that it doesnt completely follow his command but using TB’s explanation for aemond, then luces blood is “sullied” by his strong blood making his dragon-bond weak

every team is so obsessed w blood when that’s honestly not that important in connection the dragons (like dany has prob like 10% targ blood and its only a problem whens its miniscule amounts like w quentyn martell)

my full interpretation of this is now believing that arrax was just a baby reacting to getting chased by a literal HUMONGOUS dragon and vhagar was valid to react that way because she got fired sprayed in her face so ofc shes gonna fight back. tbh i don’t believe the connection to dragons (in regard to the riders) is that important in what happened because theyre just beings that reacted naturally to what was occuring and they have no knowledge westerosi belief in laws and taboos, so why would vhagar even care that shes killed her riders nephew and a baby dragon

[rosequartzdildo]

What i think the sexy visual novel men smell like

Tate frost- Ahh big sexy butcher man cheap cologne cigarettes and sweat A very "manly" smell probably showers with old spice showers like 3 times a week he prob gets a little sweaty most of the time but not like dripping Randall- DOESNT SHOWER he often doesnt feel like it but its not his fault poor lil guy :(

John doe- Doesnt shower probably an incel only will shower if someones with him you'd prob have to bathe him yourself to get him clean

Lawrence- He definitely has a fresh earthy smell showers with native sometimes doesn't shower when he has depressive episodes cries in the shower because of how lonely he is takes a lot of walks makes him smell like outside his plants make him happy tho Ren- Showers with dove zesty ass smells rose and peony type shit uses cologne from some expensive store takes baths with bath bombs maybe even bubbles he doesn't use anything that isn't cruelty free Vincent- Also is kind of like Tate Showers twice a week sweaty i don't think he smells like cigarettes but he has kind of an edgy smell I think that Farz smells like him most of the time Cain- Bathes with rose petals bubble bath and bath salts always smells good uses rare expensive cologne rose, lavender bathes every day because it helps him relax i think he takes good care of his body lotions and stuff like that possibly has a skincare routine Sano- Showers a healthy amount cold showers since its better for you smells fresh and clean showers with dove pays attention to what he puts on his body to keep his skin healthy possibility of a skincare routine but skips it sometimes cuz he has to study or experiment on someone Strade- He needs to shower more oh wait hes dead so doesn't shower smells like rotten flesh covered and filled with maggots Rire- Same as Cain expensive colognes not rose petals but definitely bubble baths and bath salts he smells good most of the time also takes care of himself well has a short skincare routine

[mikalame]

Hey, I love the way you writing for Tom, can you make Tom x gn reader smut alphabet if it's fine? If it's not, you can make fluff ☺️

taglist: @oppopotamus @violentnewmarley @saumspam

in this hc your gonna be dating him

TOM KAULITZ SMUT ALPHABET

After care

If it was close very comfort sex then i think he would run a bath with bubbles and you two would just embrace each other giggling at shit, but if it was hard core he would make sure your comfy then grab a nice lil towel and clean you up tucking you two in with blankets and watching a movie or just going to sleep if your tired enough (you probs are tho)

Body part (fav part on you and him)

On you its got to be your hips he like how he can grab them and pull you back when hes thrusting into you and he likes to to the little red spots from where he was holding

On him ether his hands or his cock (bro cant decide) he likes his hands because thats how he plays gutair and because he can make you cum from them butt likes his cock because well its his cock finds it very satisfying when you get overstimulated from it.

Climax (how quick are they to cum)

Not very quick if you two had been teasing each other for a while or just grinding in general he would cum a bit quicker but nothing out of the ordinary or him, could probs go 5-6 round be fore he starts to shoot blanks.

Dirty sectret

Probs be a threesome with another girl (lets be honest tom isnt going to be having sex if another guy is involved) just he might think you would get jealous but its always been in the back of his mind.

Eye contact

likes eye contact in the moment before you or him are about to cum he thinks there is something so special about seeing all the emotions he is putting you through in just a few second.

Fav postion

Doggy or missionary he likes doggy because he can smack your butt and all that good stuff, he like kissing down your back and shoulder blades and feels really happy when your legs or arms give out on you. Likes missionary because he can see how you feel in the moment, can see all your emotions and cause he can give you hella hickeys

Goofy (how silly is he)

Isn't to silly but isnt dead serious likes to crack a few jokes when coming down from his high or when you come down from yours

Hair (downstairs)

Trimmed i dont think it would be to long, just wouldnt like the feeling of it would do clean shave if you brought it up.

Intimacy (how are they in the moment)

very close and loves holding your hand even when it rough he wants you to know that hes there and hes not that mean, loves when your cumming and your hand tightens then after your finished your hand goes limp

Jacking off

All. The. Time. come on it tom if hes not jacking off hes thinking of it he cant help himself, would pull up photos of you two having sex and jack of to it where ever, when ever he does not care

Kinks

Breeding. Would lovee to see it drip out but he knows it better to wrap it up but sometimes when all both are kinda drunk and have sex he will forget feels super guilty in the morning but in the moment loves it so much

Location

Every where he doesnt care and as long as you dont he doesnt care where you do it, i dont think he would do anthing sexual infront or close to parents like in the same room or anything but would do some over the clothes stuff like under a blanket and stuff

Motivation

You. Just you, everything you do gets him hard and horny like if yall are sleeping and you keep grinding on him would get him hard i dont think he would wake you up for sex but mabey if you were okay with it

No

Rape/ scat play like thats just gross anything of the sorts is on his no list forever

Oral

more of a receiver than giver but will give you head if you ask nicely enough and would go down on you like a starved man but when hes giving head he would most definitely face fuck you, hold you hair in a pony tail and just goes to town

Pace (how fast/long)

Could be anything you want it to be, but i think his default is fast i don think he would be to hard but would be harder if you asked (begged) him to

Quickies

All the time when you two cant get enough time with each other for proper sex hell pull you into a bathroom or whatever and well yk

Risk

Yeah hes pretty risky i mean he got caught jacking it on the train by his mum soooo if your down hes down

Stamina

pretty good like i said before can go 5-6 before blanks but even then hes going strong before he cums

Toys

he wouldnt by any for himself but if you bought him a cock ring or something he would wear it but he would buy you anything and every thing from vibrators to dildos he likes to see how over stimulated you can get

Unfair (tease)

Major tease makes you beg for every thing even just to take his boxers of you have to beg him to allow you to take them off he just likes the frustrated look in your eye when he say beg harder

Volume (how loud is he)

Moans and grunts quietly but when hes close he'll get louder with the moaning i dont think he would ever whimper tho just doesn't seem like the type of person to

Wild card (random hc)

Use your vibrator on his cock once and felt real guilty when he came on it now when he uses it on you he doesnt thrust when using it scared it would make him cum quick like hes got some sort of weakness from it

X-ray( How much they packin)

bro said hes 2nd biggest in the group and packin 24 iches you do the maths bro HUNG

Yearning (how much he wants you while he or you are away)

He want you all the time weather it be for sex or not he wants to just be around you so when hes on tour hes constantly thinking about you

Zz (how quick does he fall asleep)

After you fall asleep cause he likes to just hold you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear and lull you to sleep, really love holding you close after sex tho

Hope you like anonn some of the words in this made me cringe but yeah lol

[hawksinacup]

Why do I feel like Fanon Hawks would take care of you whole-heartedly while you are on your period, but Canon Hawks is too busy to be there and just sends you a basket of menstrual care products.

Like Fanon would bring you chocolates, a heating blanket or use his wings as one, and buy you pads,tampons, a fucking mentrual cup, and even some meds because he doesnt want to see you in pain. He gives you your space when you need it, or is by your side the whole time.

Canon? Pfft naw, mans too busy, he will probs give a call to check in on you, while sending a sidekick to give you the basket then dip.

[txtistheloml]

sub!yeonjun + dom!yeonjun drabble - (nsfw) (written separately !!)

word count: 955..!!

note: might have gotten a lil carried away w the dom part its very obviously longer than the sub part but what can i say \( v )/ its my nature hehe~ also if its shit quality mb it was literally 1-2am when i wrote this..!!

sub!yeonjun :

no one can change my mind i just know yeonjun isnt much of a groaner like maybe whiny moans and whimpers GODD it doesnt matter whether hes subbing or domming its the samee @.@ im just thinking ab when you are sucking him off because he deserves it right? (or not thats up to you..!!)

when you suck yeonjun off, he just gets so so whiny, hips bucking up into your mouth once every while, saying cant help it, feels so good.. whenever you fixate your attention on his tip, kitten-licking it and swirling your tongue around his head, he’s in literal heaven. he could prob get off with just you sucking and licking his tip tbh.

as much as you like seeing him get all fucked out when he cums, sometimes you just cant help being a lil mean and edge him. your hand wrapped around his dick so prettily, moving up and down so so quickly it has him releasing the whiniest, prettiest moans ever, breath hitching and with shaky breaths, hes prompting you to not stop bc he feels so so good. dont stop please? when you bring him so dangerously close to his orgasm, you cease the movement of your hand immediately, causing him to buck his hips up into the air as hes brimming up with tears, so so sensitive and pretty boy just wants to cum :(

when you edge him multiple times on end, his cheeks are dusted pink, tip all swollen with precum collecting at the top, begging to be touched. of course you give in at the end and when hes cumming, hes letting out broken wails and loud shameless moans but when you dont stop he gets so overstimulated, tears staining his pretty face as you simply coo at him, good boys take what theyre given hm? you wanted to cum and now im letting you. so take it like the good slut you are, all for me yea?

dom!yeonjun :

yeonjun who always tells you to go to him if you have any problems at all, even if its ab the tiniest things - he dont care, just go to him if you ever need someone to rant to or someone to comfort you. well other than that he has his other ways..!!

one day he sees you coming back from work/school looking like you have a thunderstorm cloud over your head, hes whipping up your fav foods (or takeout lmao) and asking you if youre okie and if you need help. even after you rant (more like bitching but) to him, he could still feel you didnt quite feel better yet so he pulls out his master plan. let me help you feel better sweetheart? he would coo into your ear, oh so sweetly, as he cups your face.

it would start of with kisses that turn messy and sloppy as he leaves feather light touches under your shirt, on your waist and back. i can see him stripping you completely and tying your hands up above your head with a pretty satin ribbon. ill do all the work yea, princess? just relax for me~ , whispering into your skin as he leaves hickies on your sweet spots that he has memorised at the back of his head, trailing down to your wet pussy. he cant help but look at you like that, the view from between your thighs showing him his pretty girl all sprawled out for him, anticipating his touch.

he starts his abuse on your pretty pussy, licking and lapping at your arousal, sucking so harshly on your clit it has your brain going into meltdown already. sticking his tongue into your hole as he thrusts it in and out quickly, nose rubbing against your clit as hes eager to make you cum, relieve you of your stress. definitely makes you cum multiple times on his tongue and fingers before giving you dick.

yeonjun would go hard and rough from the very start !! slamming into you like no tomorrow. boy is so invested in making you cum, his thrusts being so hard the sound of skin slapping skin is radiating off the walls. he literally has you sobbing on his dick, broken wails coming from you as you keep cumming over and over again.

his long and girthy dick making you feel so so good, you can feel the veins of his dick moving in and out of your walls. hes always so big - sometimes too big even. it felt like he was splitting you into half, his dick already stuffing you full to start with, and his cum was just being forced out as he releases load after load into you to make space for his dick in your cute lil hole. youve lost count of how many times hes made you cum this night tbh, too many to count. bro has insane stamina, keeps going despite your protests for him to stop, feeling too overstimulated from everything.

shh, i know you can take it, take it like the good girl you are sweetheart. hes not stopping until you are completely - when i say completely mark my words - fucked out, babbling nonsense and tears staining your cute cheeks, cum dribbling out of your hole, folds and clit all puffy and sensitive, and of course, forgetting why you were having a bad day in the first place.

he loves being able to help you out, railing you and absolutely blowing your back out because surely fucking away a bad day is the best solution right? you letting yourself all loose, leaving yourself vunerably in his arms, knowing he will take good care of you even though you may end up not being able to walk properly for the next week or so <3

taglist!: @huckleberrykai , send me an ask if you want to be added into my perm taglist and make sure to specify if you want to be added into sfw or nsfw..!!

feedback along with likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated !!

[proshiprodent]

Yandere! SCP 049 Headcanons

woah im actually getting to this anyways sorry for the long wait but im here! the reader is apart of the scientific department ^^ also reader is afab but uses they/them

SFW

God does he love you.

Though you guys were both unaware at first

He thought it was just a feeling of friendliness and care

Until he couldn't keep you out of his head. Through all of his research, the thought of you lingered in his head

He then started to feel something different in him.

He felt an urge to protect you from everyone and to never let you go. He only wanted you to look at him, talk to him and for you to only be by him.

For you though, as an ScD, you saw him react differently everytime he saw you.

He would stare at you, like he was in a trance. He would treat you differently from the rest of the scientists.

The way you two began to grow closer was when you interviewed him.

You guys sat there for hours under close watch by the foundation. Talking on and on about eachothers lives and personal things.

You know it was odd to be closer than friends with an SCP, especially as foundation personnel but you felt something for him. Love.

He could tell you felt this by how he analyzed you everytime you guys would talk. He felt ecstatic, absolute joy in your reciprocation.

Sometimes when the foundation had put you in for tests, you two would talk to eachother in his cell. Enjoying eachothers company as you guys talked. He would even show off some of his progress or belongings that he somehow had.

You looked at him as he explained his studies, deep in thought and showing interest to it. "See, the pestilence does not reside in other mammals similar to humans, They've given me orangutans to test on but it's just not the same.." You nodded in agreement as he continued, "Though someday I hope to test on a human with the pestilence. Or any human."

"Would I be on your list of potential tests?" you questioned

"God no! Your beauty must be protected, I must not ruin a person like you..."

NSFW

ohgod-

He tries to be gentle at first. Keyword: tries.

He has a knife kink no fucking doubt and loves to carve hearts into you

What does his penis look like? oh honey you asked the wrong person

So I think its kinda lanky. Definitely sensative. His skin has a greyish tint to it so I think his penis definitely is grey with a bit of red at the top. The red is probably something like #DDCDC9 with the rest of his penis being #DDDDDD and his balls being a little darker at #C4C4C4. I'd say the length is 7.12 inches soft maybe, 8.01in hard (wow im generous). His penis may not be that thick but it makes up in length. Girth is probs 3.10in wide. His semen production is kinda alot. He definitely has a curve about like 4-5 degrees towards him.

He'd tie you up and call you a 'gift from the heavens'

049 writes down your reactions and actions and i will die on this hill.

He loves when you suck him off but refuses to say.

SIZE KINK SIZE KINK if your small he will love you forever

Theres no way he doesnt have a dacryphilia kink

Fucks you for hours and says its for research LMAOO

HE WILL MAKE YOU BEG I WILL DIE HERE

sorry i dont have much im so tired rn 💀

He looked at you as you layed under him, naked and flustered. "Beg for it, love." you looked at him and wimpered "P-Please fuck me 049, please cum inside of me..~" He chuckled at your words and thrusted into you,

"Finally I have you all to me.."

Yes i fucking wrote that paragraph. why? because i can. I apologize (not

[ma3mae]

Don't be so annoyed, love!

Summary: He's so annoying sometimes but it's ok because you love him 😭 (HC w/ Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo)

Genre: Crack, fluff, lowkey suggestive themes

Warnings: 🗿 we ignoring the red flags bc we can. also mentions of farting bc dazai 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿

A/N: u cant tell me that they wouldnt do any of these things ok 💀also kunikida's got a small drabble out of nowhere but im always wildin when it comes to him 😭😭😭😭😭

Dazai Osamu

u cant tell me that as soon as hes rly comfortable in ur relationship that he WOULD NOT be ashamed of just farting outta nowhere honestly 💀

Like yall r just chilling on the couch, watching smth and he just lets it all out bc why should he hold himself back 🗿

Hes at home 🗿

But bro's lucky he doesnt smell but 🗿🗿🗿🗿 wheres the warning from him

u give him the side eye and hes like "What? Are you perhaps ashamed of human nature, bella?" like ok we'll leave him alone but he ruined the emotional moment of the movie yall were watching 😭😭😭

Is also the type to prob leave his socks and clothes lying around

It got better over time but he still sometimes does it bc old habits die hard i guess 🧍

once got so bad you just collected all of his clothes and put them infront of the door so he'd have no choice but to pick all of that up and do it himself 💀

would try to talk his way out of it in the beginning but also felt kinda bad after the relationship got more and more serious

So now hes a good bf/ husband and does it himself 🤩 (with the occasional sock under the couch 💀)

drinking habits would take a bit longer to be fully gone, he'd learn to regulate it over time

He's learned to warn you tho when he thinks that a rly shitty day might hit him bc work and more

sometimes you take the day off and do something together to take his mind off of it

Sometimes you're at work and a "im home" text without hearts will come and you know whats wrong

would feel more comfortable over time letting you take care of him

will definitely show you his appreciation for you the next days in one way or the other 🤩💅

talking about living together, yall would often have to sit down to talk about his spendings bc our man cant save for ANYTHING

Used to often come home with little things like "Look, this reminded me of you!" and it's a plushie of a cat or something

Started off cute and small but got dramatic like him really fast

ngl he came home with a expensive necklace u liked when the both of u went shopping but u didnt buy it bc.. she expensive...

like he was charming as always with his "Tada! Guess what I've got you?~ 😋" ".... Not the necklace...? 😧" "🤩 How did you guess that right, bella??" "😨😨"

THIS man right here wouldnt even hesitate to just right out fking steal shit for you if u want it bc thats how much Power u got over him he'd never admit that tho sksks... OK maybe in bed...

he'd def either blackmail or bribe chuuya into helping him with stealing

probably even has access to his bank account and you'd only realize that when he'd stand infront of your door, asking where that "f*cking b*stard" is

you'd legit have to mediate their convo or else the whole building you live in would be gone immediately skks 💀

Chuuya likes u so he wouldnt make yall pay for it bc he knows that dazai's nearly broke 24/7 and u dont deserve to pay for his fault 💅

it would be enough to destroy his pride to make him obey chuuya for like 2 weeks or sum cue evil cackling from said red head

queen of Gaslightining nr. 1 😭 sometimes its for the dumbest arguments tho like why its okay to smack your lips while eating 😭

"I don't know it's just really noisy and kinda annoying for me?" "But Bella, that shows just how tasty your food is or are going to deny that fact and say that I should not show my appreciation for it? What if for me personally it's a sign of a good meal?" "Yeah but doesnt need to be that for me. Also you can show your appreciation for it in other ways like just simply saying its delicious?"

"But actions speak louder than words, my love." "YEAH, well then what do you want then???"

Its just a whole shit show and would (lmao it WILL) end in him giving you just shameless bedroom eyes and well you know whats gonna be after dinner lmaooo 🤡😭

Also also i do believe that hes not the best cook at first but hes a real fast learner so it prob would only take him a week of consuming cooking videos and reading books and BOOM

"Samu, is this a 3 course meal you're cooking because that's a LOT of ingredients in the kitchen." "Sssh just sit down, wash yourself up and enjoy the evening, my love! I'll call you when I'm done 💕"

Manages to somehow still give you some snacks and drinks in between the cooking 😭 with some sneaked in kisses on your shoulder or lips 😏

If you go and hug him from behind, he'll be MELTING

Like nuzzling your face into his back while wrapping your arms around his torso, you feel the slight rumble in his chest as he chuckles at your cute action 😭

"If you want to eat something then you should take a break from being so cute, you know? Don't want the food to go bad from maybe getting a bit distracted if you stay here for a bit longer." "Ew, are you implying you'd start something infront of our food??"

"... Well, I can just have a whole meal by myself but you'd be left hungry so it's your choice 😋"

🗿 the way he doesnt need long to be turned on is alwaya amazing to u but thats just how whipped he is and bro is a whole snack himself so WHOS complaining 😋💅

food's is guaranteed to taste heavenly but if he knows youve got time, then he'd make excuses to taste your cooking like

"Samu, it's been a while since I've gotten to taste your cooking." "Aww, was it that delicious for you? Hmm but I actually prefer your cooking!"

Time for some cooking and baking lessons together, eoow 💅 with the occasional make out session because the sauce found it's way on your lips and he just had to clean it up with his 😭😋

honestly despite all of some of the difficulties, dazai would never fail in making you feel loved in his own way even tho u gotta peel back some layers 🗿

At the end of the day, his bear hugs and many kisses are smth u love to come back home to after work

also doesnt say it but would def be a house husband for u 🤩 with the occasional "whoops gotta go and do smth quick" text and he comes home at like midnight skks bc the agency needs his cute ass 😋 but dw dinner's ready and house chores have been done so enjoy ur evening after work, zurlie 💅

dont kill me for this but id give him a 7.5/10 😭

Obsessed with him and i love him but it would prob be really really exhausting to get him to FULLY trust you and its honestly understandable

Also he kinda makes me feel like i'd have to walk on eggshells around him because you often dont really know what hes thinking 😭😭

could smile at u while thinking "why u so ugly" 😭😭

also bro is so smooth, its scary like he'd prob make us forget immediately that hes trying to find out everything about us(why he sounding like a stalker 😨😨 wouldnt want him to be MY stalker 😨😨 or would I?? 🤩) MY DELULU BRAIN 👹

Doppo Kunikida

😨 Cleaning maniac

personification of the verse "I can COOk, i can CLEAN" (i know its "dont" instead of can but we all know hes like perfect house husband material... maybe a bit too perfect 💀💀💀👹)

If u forgot a cup on the dinner table, he'd legit take the cup, put it in ur hand and be like "why did u leave it there if u r not using it"

WILL def rant about why u shouldnt do it

Honestly huge nagging mom vibes 💀💀

At the beginning of moving in together, he'd just clean everything without a word whatsoever

Like you wanna help around the house too? NUH UH, he already finished everything up.

Vaccuming the house? Done

Swiping? Lmao be sure to not arrive at home after work around that time bc u gotta stand at the door and WAIT until the floor is dried 💀😭

Dishes have been done like at 5 in the fucking morning 💀👹

Bro thankfully doesn't wash clothes that often (gotta be careful of the water bill 😭) but there r days where he legit throws his clothes nearly everyday bc the worse the mission the more blood yk 🗿🗿

U had to legit drag his ass to the couch to talk to him bc he gonn be deep clean the house if someone doesnt stop him

"Kuni, you literally don't need to do EVERYTHING by yourself! I'm also here to help and frankly, it feels like you're my maid sometimes 😞" " Don't worry. Everything fits perfectly in my time plan and since you sometimes work overtime, it's better if I do a bit more of it."

... "🗿 You are legit saving this city from being destroyed so often and I just sit in the office, bro 🤡" "I understand your argument but I have seen the way you look tired so often so let me take a bit of your burden"

He knows how to make us go "🥺"

The argument prob went on for an hour until yall settled on making a plan on who does what on which days and if someone's gotta work overtime or sum then the other takes a bit of it over and so on

So in the end its alrighty 🎉

Groceries and so on are never a problem except it sometiems turns out like going shopping with your mom because...

"Omg Kuni, look!!" *holds up cute decoration* "We could put this on our dinner table! Isn't it cute 🥺??"

Bro just takes it from you and looks at the price. Legit gives you the 🤨 look

"That's 937,32 Yen (around 6€) 🤨🤨. For a tiny statue of a dog? We could find it somewhere way cheaper." "🥺 But it's a limited edition and it reminds me of you bc its got the same fur color 🥺. It's even got ur glasses on 🥺"

Bro will say no but the day after you spot the dog on the table 🤡

Yall lying in bed together and cuddle so give him a peck on the lips while killing him with your cute ass smile (U MURDERER 🗿🗿)

"What was that for?" "Hmmm, well I just noticed that said statue magically appeared on our table. You think it was a cute long haired fairy with glasses and a grumpy look 😋? "

He tries really hard to deadpan at you but the corner of his lips still tug upwards as he pinches your nose

"Well, sometimes its not so bad to buy a little extra, I guess."

If theres a market nearby with some really good deals then you'd either be dragged together with him or he'd come home after work with tons of bags

Always surprises you in how good he is at negotiating about the price

Sometimes you gotta stop him from arguing with some of the shop keepers because some decided to sell some items way too overpriced 🗿🗿🗿

you once found him stay up all night researching about reasonable prices for veggies... 😨

and cue to yall standing in the morning infront of said shop keeper getting absolutely destroyed in an argument by your man.. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Well guess who even got some extra free stufd because kuni terrified the shit out of him 😋

"Thank you for your hard work in harvesting and selling us these delicious vegetables. My wife is quite a fan of them." Your husband said as he put the money into the shop keepers shaky hands, face red in embarassement as he squeezed out a "It's nothing." between his teeth. His face paled at the words "We'll see each other next Monday. Until then have a great week." leaving your man's mouth as he gave him a friendly smile before taking your hand and going to the next stall,only for you to sheepishly wave goodbye to the shop keeper before going with your husband.

"Well, you gave him quite the scare back there." You said as you felt him squeeze your hand a bit tighter, the bustling of the array of people only increasing by minutes. "Someone had to correct his ways. It would help his sales but only if he's willing to take that advice seriously." he simply answered as he looked at the contents of the bag, counting the ingredients left to purchase.

"Well atleast we got ourselves more than we needed so we can go home and call it a day." "Who are you?" Chuckling at your surprised face out of the corner of his eyes, he continued to make his way towards the end of the market, to finally reach your car.

"I thought over your words and I do believe it would be nice to" laze around together "for once in a while. Everything in the house has already been done, so maybe we could try out that one series you've been talking about. The reviews seem to be quite positive about it."

He just lets a breathy laugh escape his lips at your squeal while you begin to rant on why its gonna be so good watching it and

UUUUGGHHGH 😭😭😭😭 GIVE ME KUNIKIDAAAAAAAGHHHHHH 😭😭😭🤡🤡👹👹👹

honestly there are like no real red flags like his red flags are disguised green flags and yall can legit work through it easily

The only thing would be his tendency to overwork himself and it could lead to an argument but never a real fight because hes pretty easy to reason with

Like even when hes stubborn, he'll STILL listen to your words because the many good things about him that he'd always make sure to take your words seriously 🗿🗿

which sometimes makes it tempting to tease him bc we can lowkey understand why dazai easily tells him the most outrageous shit and your man just casually writes it down in his notebook 😭

"That damn idiot managed to fool me again by telling me that aliens have been among us (AMOGUS 👹) and that the goverment has been hiding it from us for decades." "I thought you already knew about that tho?"

"What" "What?"

"Wait so they're real?"

Cue to him showing him a video (that dazai sent to you a week ago just for this moment 😭)

Lmao dont tease him too much tho but dw, he cant stay mad at you at all lmao 😋💅

Honestly a 8.5/10 bc his nagging scares me 💀😭

Edogawa Ranpo

"Greatest Detective" more like "Queen of Gaslightining" 👹👹

Everyone knows hes way too obsessed with sweets but how the hell is his teeth actually still existing 🗿🗿

ngl i believe fukuzawa would prob sometimes just randomly ask him if he brushed his teeth bc he lowkey lowkey raised him ok 🤡

Ranpo is all nice like "yup, i did." but when u ask him, hes a whole b*tch about it

"Hah??? Why would you ask me that?? Do you really believe that I'd be so dumb to forget about brushing my teeth? If i can solve the most difficult cases then why would you assume that brushing my teeth might something that I'd forget, huuuhh??"

His gaslightining used to work at the beginning of ur relationship but sooner or later its not hard to notice his patterns 🗿

Like yas ok, he could just put up a whole ass strategy in how to not get u to notice that he didnt brush em at all but bro

Hes too lazy

And hes a sucker for attention 😩 like he might be "annoyed" if u nag at him bc of smth but he absolutely loves it bc its just one of his many ways to get ur attention without him having to actively get up and get it for himself 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Hes a huge clown but i love him 😭

Dazai tends to forget his socks or smth lying on the floor but THIS mf right here just doesnt rly care 😭

Like that was the first thing u noticed when u entered his apartment 🤡

Its not right out messy on a disgusting degree, its more like theres tons of trinkets n shit from cases or just random candy wrap hidden under the couch 💀💀💀

The epitome of "I can do it tomorrow" bc bro doesnt forget, he just IGNORES that he has to do it 😭

might take a while to actually get him to yk do smth around the house

used to prob only sleep and shower at his apartment and thats it💀

But when hes whipped then hes whipped and hed actually try his best to help around the house

Key word "try" 🤡

Like its often tbh accompanied by "okay, ill do it but only if i get smth"

A MANCHILD, I SAY 👹👹👹👹

But there are days when he legit deep cleans everything by himself bc either you had a bad day or yall had a fight 👹👹

still would whip out the "now gimme something, please 😋" if yall cuddle after a fight and he cleaned and tidied everything up for his love 🤩

doesnt always have to be candy yk HEUEHEUEHEUUE 👹👹👹👹👹

also its not a surprise but dont let him near the kitchen

HE COULD

HE RLY COULD COOK SO WELL

Like he had only cooked for ONE time and it was like a fever dream

Bc u legit had a fever and he cooked chicken soup but uhm 🗿

he cooked it so good??? Like veggies n meat cut and cooked up nicely?

Broth kicking in real hard?

Like? "What the hell? I thought you couldn't cook??"

Bro is about to put that spoon fr away 💀

"I'm not so heartless to let you starve and I definitely wont be giving you some cheap soup either. I just looked it up on the internet and followed the instructions so you gotta get well soon because I miss your cooking 🤩🤩"

Are we flattered?? Gurl, maybe but he'd def know if we tried to make ourselves be sick to taste his cooking again

Bro only offers to help when it comes to baking 😪😮‍💨😮‍💨

His only help is licking the dough or chocolate outta the bowl or smth 😀

would sneak in many kisses tho bc he likes u and sweet stuff is just sugar overload for him and he loves it 🤩

I think one of the important factors for him in a relationship is that fukuzawa approves of you? Since he does value his opinion over his own intellect

Like bro trusted him when it came to Fukichi and other ppl 💀

fukuzawa could legit go "aliens r evil" and ranpo would be like "ok everyone, aliens are evil!!!!" 🗿🗿🗿

honesrly i dont think why there would be a reason for fukuzawa not to accept you (if there is one then time to take 100 steps back and reflect on urself 💀)

He'd prob be impressed on how u even fell in love with him bc.. its ranpo💀

petty, clingy, can be manipulative ( but never with ill intentions), would legit prank ur ass bc he can, impatient and quickly bored af

But hes attentive, kind, can be patient when it comes down to it, empathetic (depends sksks) (also thank u fukuzawa for kinda ramming that into his head 🤩), affectionate in his own way (a sucker for physical touch but would NEVER right out admit it 🗿) and so much more honestly

there arent any real red flags tbh (might come as a surprise for some ppl)

Maybe maybe he'd obviously have a bit of difficulty fully opening up and i do believe there might be times where he once or twice legit deducted what ur feelings r for him bc hes used to being careful around people and especially bc in case someonw could randomly target the agency

Or is some kinda criminal in general

But honestly when hes learned to trust you then you know youve got yourself someone loyal 💅 and i mean FR loyal

personal favorite hc and honestly prob canon since we've already seen it : he'd not be ashamed to throw hands at someone when he thinks you're being insulted or harassed

And with hands i mean exposing them to 100% until they are pissing their pants and begging him to leave them alone 🤩🤩🤩

Also also, gives me off a similar vibe to dazai with the "maybe having to walk on eggshells" around them but ranpo doesnt make you feel as watched tbh as dazai which would kinda make it easier to talk to

but bro isnt as smooth as him so whOOP 💀💀

Overall iconic and a solid 8/10 🤩🤩🤩💕💕💕

The random ratings i gave them LMAO 💀💀💀 hope u like em 🗿

[shoezuki]

I dunno why but I feel like Gepard can handle liquor. Like Sampo has the gift of bein smart knowin his limits and what to drink and when, so he gives off the vibe of being able to handle a lot but he's not that heavyweight. He's jus big brain conman XD. Get enough in him n he'll go down like the rest.

But Geppie. Man's sippin vodka from the bottle and not even slurrin his words. When he was a trainee the older guards decided to prank him with a glass of absinthe n called it a weak alcohol only for him to get halfway and not even bat an eye, only stopped cuz it tasted like ass. Dude takes the path of preservation seriously. Even his liver is beyond destruction XD.

Which is why I find two situations very freakin funny, which I'd love your opinion on:

1) Sampo starts up a drinking competition with him. It's on one of his guardian mandated holidays, so Gepard doesn't have to be responsible, and Dove 3 in 1 won't leave him alone anyway, so he agrees. Partway thru Sampo realises he's losin but Gep insists on gettin the drinks so he can't even cheat his way to victory. Cue Gep having to drag a very drunk, incredibly flirty Sampo back to Natasha but he keeps running off. Even being drunk doesn't stop him from havin smoke bombs up the wazoo.

2) Sampo manages to cheat, scheme, girlboss his way to victory. He comes out on top but now has the problem of an incredibly drunk, dangerously curious Silvermane Captain who won't stop flooding him with the oddest of questions. "Why are your eyes so green? Is your hair natural? What happened to the rest of your shirt? Do you really enjoy crime or is it jus something you fell into?" Whi- okay that one was oddly specific and he doesn't have the capacity, as tispy as he is, to answer.

He really needs to get him back home, before he asks the wrong person the wrong question, but isn't cognitive enough to face being questioned by Bronya and would sooner die than face Serval. So he opts into takin him to one of his more obvious hideouts which poses 10 million problems in and of itself when he keeps freakin touching everything!

ANON YOURE RIGHT YOURE A FUCKING. GENIUS. I been thinkin bout this A LOT ACTUALLY prob cuz for some reason fandom seems to lean towards gepard bein a horrific lightweight (i mean i know Why the lightweight trope is very much seen as 'cute' and childlike n whatever but i digress). But tbhtbhtbh i agree w u 100% like.

Gepard is a Tank of a Man. Homie can handle anything. Mfer the living embodiment of preservation like dude could be like 'serval this drink sucks' and hes gulping down perfume, unaffected. Dudes prob ate weird shit out on the front lines n questionable rations. The stuff in his fridge is expired n hes jus shrugging and eating it anyways.

I think w sampo its like. He SEEMS like he can handle his liquor. And hes not bad w it. But hes an Actor. Mfer could be plastered and you wouldnt know. Dude could convince a breathalyzer that hes only a Little Tipsy. But theres a threshold for him where he jus Caves at some points. Like u said tho man is Always competent w bombs. Like drunken boxing but w daggers dude could be blown over by a gentle breeze but still kicks ass.

I imagine that gepard doesnt Usually drink in that he jus. Doesnt care much. But absolutely his drink of choice is the hard shit. He jus has whiskey w ice or vodka w tonic water like a freak. Maybe a white russian if hes feelin zesty. When his guards convince him to go to the bar n challenge him to take shots he shrugs n jus packs them back no big deal.

But oh my god like. The 2nd scenario. I imagine it in order like first sampo realizing gepard has an Inhuman tolerance n making it his missiom to get the good ol captain fucked up. N it takes a while but like. Gepard jus gets more... blunt. But in a strange soft questioning way where he asks the things he wonders bout but never says aloud. The kinda soul reads like 'sampo youre a criminal not because you need to be but because you enjoy the thrill and attention right?' N sampo is just like holy fuck. But its like his inhibitions are gone and hes so Curious about everything and everything. He hangs onto sampos every word n it drives sampo crazy

[starfxkr]

I need you to speak more on Trap jjs girl and John b… I need to know the freaky shit they be up too

it starts off with jj just not caring if john b is there when he’s feeling her up or even fuckin her because in his mind thats just john b hes not gonna do anything because thats his brother and prob the only person he loves more than you so the lines are already blurred, john b flirts with you and jj likes to joke he’s gonna let him have a turn and it never quite feels like a joke completely…because they share everything but every drunken kiss between you and john b gets brushed off bc you were in jjs lap when it happened so it cant mean anything right? because jj likes to tease that you have a crush on john b but he doesnt seem upset by it, like he’s waiting for something to happen.

and whenever jayj gets arrested john b is the first one to make sure youre good, he’s bringing you over to the chateau so he can keep an eye on you and keep you company and you’re so used to a nice good natured kiss between friends now you’re doin it when jjs not there but you feel bad so you ignore it but you’re fuckin horny so when jjs booked n you can finally go see him but those conjugals arent enough and jj knows its not enough so he starts scheming with john b to get you to fuck him and unsurprisingly it succeeds.

when jjs out youre fuckin ecstatic because you miss him but you find yourself surprisingly missing john b and jjs not one to deny you anything at all, and while hes glad he made good on his promise to let john b have a turn that doesnt mean hes happy he was left out so…thats how you end up dp’ed on the couch a couple days after jj gets home

[poisonedprose]

₊˚✧ valentines day!

chishiya, arisu, tatta, kuina, last boss x gn!reader headcanons

warnings: pre borderlands, lower case intended, typo, incomplete sentences, curse word (kuina) , nsfw implications (last boss)

masterlist

chishiya ! ⋆ doesnt really celebrate and will only plan something if you want him too

⋆ thinks flowers are stupid so wont buy you them

⋆ "Y/N, im not buying you flowers, they are just going to die in a week"

⋆ but buys you whatever else you want (hes got that doctor money)

⋆ more of a stay in and chill kinda guy

⋆ but if you really wanna go to a restaurant and eat some overpriced medicore meal he'll endure it

⋆ overall youre in charge and whatever you say goes (except for flowers)

arisu ! ⋆ absolutely loves valentines day with you

⋆ from the moment you wake up he is bombarding your face with kisses

⋆ tries to make dinner but almost sets the house on fire

⋆ so you just end up ordering from your favorite delivery place

⋆ definitely asks you to play video games with him

⋆ if you say yes he lets you win

⋆ overall he loves valentines day and if he had his way, valentines day would be every month

tatta ! ⋆ i see him as the kinda guy to forget its valentines day

⋆ like hes just working and gets a text from you asking what you guys are doing tonight

⋆ and he just totally freaks about because he didnt plan anything yet

⋆ texts back saying its a surprise and then calls everyone he knows for help

⋆ he ends up making it a really special night tho

⋆ plans a nice picnic under the stars (and steals food from work)

⋆ overall even tho he forgot you never found out and you had a blast so win-win

kuina ! ⋆ this bitch spends MONTHS planning, every little detail is thought out

⋆ from what shes gonna wear to what you guys will talk abt

⋆ she def starts out by taking you shopping (with her employee discount)

⋆ and then a nice walk through the park as the sun sets

⋆ she might even lend you her jacket as it gets cold ;)

⋆ ends the night with a cute little firework show and lots and lots of kisses

⋆ overall she puts a lot of effort in because youre worth it

last boss ! ⋆ genuinely could not care less

⋆ "Valentine's day is just some capitalistic scam Y/N."

⋆ he buys you chocolate tho bc he does love seeing your smile

⋆ will deny he bought it for valentines day and claims he just saw it and bought it

⋆ and then refuses to talk to you for like 10 minutes before you're back in his arms

⋆ he will 100% try to use the fact that its valentines day to get some with no shame

⋆ overall hit or miss with him but its you so probs hit (if ykwim)