#because i always kinda edit as i go and. idk. my first draft is always my final draft except for a few minor corrections

[zenithpng]

hi. writer/language arts moots. i need help :))

how on earth do you write a second draft.

[vivi-snow]

PLEASE LET ME GO

Gojo Satoru x f! reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧••Summary: You had enough of Satoru’s teasing antics. He didn’t realize that you were actually hurting.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧••Reminders: teasing, high school setting, popular student! Gojo,

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧••a/n: this is a complete draft. No edits, no proofing. Sorry in advance for the mistakes and for the terrible English since it’s not my first language. Also, this is my first time writing emotionally so idk if it’s good.

Word count: 1.5k

╚⏤⏤⏤╗🌺╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗🌺╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗🌺╔⏤⏤⏤╝

It has always been like this. Whenever yours and Satoru’s paths cross, he would seize the opportunity to make fun of everything you have.

Over time, your insecurities become more severe. Every outfit you wear, every book you read, every activity you do, he always has something negative to say about it. Every time you report his behaviors to the teachers, he would act all innocent and insist it was a joke.

     “hey!” his voice pierced through your ears the moment you heard it. You paid no attention as you read your book on the basketball court trying not to retaliate.

“Hey!!!” his voice sounded closer than it was before. His footsteps echoed throughout the court, even though your whole class was there, he just had to pick you to annoy.

“Watcha’ readin’?” he yanked the book from you and decided to look at it. He’s not even reading the book. He’s just flipping through the pages as he’s trying to get a reaction from you.

You rolled your eyes in irritation and took the book from him. You gathered up your belongings and prepared to leave the court when he gripped your wrist tightly, stopping you from your tracks and almost making you fall from imbalance.

“What’s the rush? I’m just trying to communicate with you.” He lowered his sunglasses a bit and anticipated your reaction.

You noticed your whole class has been staring at the both of you- some even whispering. If there’s one thing you hate the most, it’s gossip and rumors spreading. You can’t even defend yourself with it because people see it as an excuse, and this very situation you’re in, is a perfect breeding ground for it.

You tried pulling your hand, you tried shaking it, you even tried loosening his grip by using your other hand. He won’t budge, and he is still looking at you with those eyes.

Those damn blue eyes.

He started walking towards the exit door, his hand still gripping your wrist, you were forced to follow him since you had no escape.

     “Satoru!!!” a voice called. “Where are you going?” Suguru asked from a distance.

“On a date!” Satoru answered with a mischievous smile.

Suguru replied with the same smile and continued his dribbling. It seemed he couldn’t care less about the situation.

     Satoru walked outside the court and into the hallways of the school, his hand still gripping your wrist. The whispers of your class slowly faded as you went farther from the court. As you both were walking around the empty halls of the school, he found an empty classroom and you both entered there. He placed you on one of the chairs and he closed both doors, ensuring that no one is able to hear from the outside.

As you were stuck in the room with the most annoying person in the class, he was walking in circles around you, his hands in his pockets, his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his inner garment.

You didn’t look up at him, you already knew he was grinning at you as he walked around, so why bother?

He was laughing the whole time. He wanted to know how long you could put up with your silent treatment.

     “I’m surprised you made it this long princess.” He stated. “It kinda hurts me if I don’t get to hear your sweet voice.”

he heard you sobbing after that and decided to provoke you even more.

“You cryin’?” he teased.

You shook your head in response. Annoyance was expected, but an unwelcome emotion- fear, was added to the turmoil of emotions within you.

You were crying, you just didn’t wanna show him. But that sob earlier gave him a clue.

You spoke something to him that he didn’t quite understand.

     “Huh? What was that?” He cupped his hand behind his ear. “Speak clearly princess.” He ordered.

     “What” you paused. “Did I do to deserve this?”

You stood up and wiped your tears with your forearm, looking up at him as the tears didn’t seem to stop rolling down your face.

 ‘Stop crying… please…’ you reminded yourself.

Your shaking breaths are loud enough for him to hear. You pushed him away as you wiped your tears again.

     “Please Gojo… Stop this…” “Please let me go…” “I’ve had enough…” “It hurts… so much…”

This is when he realized it’s actually a serious matter.

     “You… didn’t like it?” He asked, genuinely this time.

You shook your head in response as you turned around, avoiding eye contact with him.

     “I’m…sorry” He responded.

It was too late of an apology now, he had already ruined your self-image. You can hear his footsteps walking toward you.

A wave of dizziness washed over you, everything seemed to spin. You gasped for air as your lungs were strained from the invisible weight that pressed down on your chest. Your legs were wobbling like jelly, unstable and unreliable. The whole room was like a ship deck rolling on a strong current.

     “Hey, are you okay?” he asked.

 You tried to balance yourself by holding on to a table, you felt suffocated. And then, you collapsed. You fell to a somewhat hard surface, and even hear a sound that resembles a heartbeat. Everything was pitch-black. All you can hear is a faint sound of him panicking, a voice whose words aren’t clear enough for you.

     After what seemed like an eternity of catching your breath, you were finally able to open your eyes and breathe in a stable way.

The first thing you notice is that the room is surrounded by curtains. You flickered your eyes to see clearly, and you weren’t dreaming, you ended up in one of the clinic beds. You got up, and there he was.

Satoru Gojo, resting by the edge of your bed facing down with his forearm below his forehead.

He seemed to be sleeping, and you tried not to disturb him as you tried to find out how much time had passed since, but he felt your feet move and immediately grabbed your ankle.

He raised his head and turned towards you, eyes flickering as he cleared his vision.

“Oh… you’re awake,” he stated, his hand still gripping your ankle.

You gently shook your ankle to remind him to let go, to which he did.

     “How long has it been?” you asked him.

     “Hmmmmm,” he checked his phone. “Four hours since you were taken here.” He replied. “Class ended twelve minutes ago.”

“Oh, What’s it about? The class I mean,”

“I didn’t take it. Someone had to watch you.”

“Oh. I’m… sorry,”

Satoru chuckled at your response.

“I had Suguru record the lecture. I’ll send it to you later.”

You smiled in response.

It was the first time he saw you smile. His face was warm and red as if he was inflated with blood.

After you had recovered, he took you home. As your parents waited outside to see you, they noticed a car stopping at your house.

After they confirmed it was you stepping out, they quickly ran towards you and gave you a big, warm hug.

They bombarded you with questions. “Are you okay now?” “Do you need some water?” “Do you need to rest?”

     They notice Satoru standing outside the car. Your parents went towards him and bowed down in gratitude.

     “Thank you, child,” They spoke in unison.

     “Oh, it was nothing Ma’am, Sir,” He responded.

You went to see him again to thank him.

“Thanks for the ride,” you smiled. “Get home safe,”

He waved goodbye to you and went on his way.

Ever since that encounter, he never teased you again.

     At a school party, everyone tried to get close to the duo. You can see from a distance just how much their presence alone made the room filled with fun noises.

You were enjoying your alone time when screaming noises slowly filled the area you were in. A hand grabbed your book, but it didn’t yank it out of you.

  “Hey,” a voice spoke.

It was Satoru, and behind him were the other students looking at you.

You looked at the students, then you looked at him. understanding the message, he turned around to look at the students. He then grabbed your hands and intertwined them with his.

The students saw this and immediately backed away. He laughed in response.

He then glanced at you with a sweet smile, not letting go of your hand.

     “Come with me to the school park,” he stated.

Suguru noticed the both of you holding hands and heading outside.

“Hey, Satoru!!!” He yelled. “Where are you guys goin’?” He asked.

“On a date!” Satoru yelled back.

He took you to one of the parks with high tables that you can’t even sit on.

He noticed your struggle and placed his hands on your waist as he lifted you to the table to sit on.

He looked up at you with puppy eyes, anticipating a reaction.

Your face was red as his hands were still gripping your waist. You ruffled his hair as you smiled at him.

“Hey,” He called.

“Hmmm?”

“I kinda like you,” He confessed.

You didn’t expect this at all. Your heart starts to beat faster as you try to make sure you hear those words right.

You cupped your hands on his face and slowly lowered your head. You kissed his forehead in response.

“Is that another way of teasing?” you asked.

He smirked at you in response. He quickly kissed your cheek.

“Maybe.”

[latentspaceofficial]

ok more singing

fuck it. i was singing in the previous post and i really like singing! i come from a vocalist background but i've had issues feeling comfortable with my tenor/alto range. i'm transfem (hi i'm the transgender tag) and was afraid of submitting to a competition bc a "real girl isn't singing". i literally moved out of texas because of the state of things there. so i shelved it in 2023, didn't submit to multiverse vistas, and very cautiously picked it up in 2024. so when i revisited everything all at once, i comm'd moon jelly. while i could maybe hit the notes with a bit of straining, her voice is more comfortably in the range of herta's voice. but i wanted to share an older version of eaao where i'm singing. aeonsim26/27 feels more intimate and i had always wanted to publish this song with my voice. but i think moon jelly still did a great job at helping the song shape up as far as cadence (i gave it a very odd cadence on purpose but i didn't fit as well in later versions) and giving body to the lyrics. i didn't like her version at first but genuinely her work added so much in the late drafting phase that i changed the key last minute and just went to town having fun with the instrumental. but yeah here's a few from the many revisions as i won't be able to look at them too closely in the video i'm making.

the original, the classic with me. yes, there was a cut drop! the original motif was started out of the piano after the drop.

taking that motif, this is part of the rework/revisit from 2024. i absolutely adore this version. you can see the song starting to shape up and it's probably my favorite. it feels very pretty patterns influenced towards the end. i was listening to a lot of pretty patterns at the time and he's a general influence on my work, so that would make sense. awesome artist, who also submitted to the competition with "70047" and got (third place user vote?). it was kinda crazy hearing he was submitting an entry when i was in my last week of work on this. go check out the entry!

second? key change from the original. this one has me singing again. didn't spend a ton of time with tuning because i was going for a very loose feel and had to hurry and believe it or not i wrote the majority of the lyrics on my phone in 20 min before bed after agreeing with mj on a comm price. i don't get how my brain works!

first presentable demo with moon jelly as the featured vocalist. this is just a bit after i started laying out her takes. i unfortunately ran out of time on the competition and wasn't able to rework her takes into something more clean with less distortion. so the vocals are basically an mp3! there was some miscommunication and life stuff and i still feel really bad about that! but i think she couldn't care less in the end. idk. i'm awkward and particular about my artistic vision. qwq

the final key change before the competition version. i think i'd call this a bit of a radio edit. i forgot to unmute the metronome track ugg. i love how mellow it is, but i ultimately wanted to go for a higher energy for the competition.

but yeah it was a lot of fun working on this and i hope to make other cool story projects and especially ones where i sing! i may revisit this song at another point to make some additional versions, but other than my video breaking down the prod, i will try and not make this song the only thing i talk about. final song link for anyone who may have come from the tags instead of my following.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Kiko I hope you had a great first day at your new job!!!! And I hope the shit weather we're getting in Louisiana isn't hitting your part of your state cuz boy am I not having fun anymore lol. I have 2 things to bug you with on this Tuesday morning- I do have a teeny tiny lil Goinko ask: I am so curious to hear Gojo's inner dialogue when he's watching Rinko fight. Like the genuine sorta oh shit she's tough, oh shit she aint weak, Jesus what a badass... I'm gonna fuck her xD The second- I have been toying with the idea of writing my own fanfic with my own OC and um... I can't seem to start. I have a decent idea of the general plot, no clue how it will end, but I open up Word, type two words, and then close the program. Idk if I need advice or encouragement lol but I look up to you a lot as a writer so I decided to make it your problem too 😅

RAI, HELLO! 💕

I did have a great first day! It was long and exhausting, but in a good way! 😊

The weather has just been kinda cold and foggy. Like, my drive home today was very foggy. Could barely see at all. But other than that, it. hasn't been too bad!!

YOU ARE NOT BUGGING ME BUT I WILL PLAY ALONG 😂

My answers are below the cut!!

Gojo's inner monologue when he sees Rinko fighting? 🤔🤔

In a few situations, he's super smug that she's doing so well because he knows she doesn't even realize or acknowledge how strong she actually is. So when she's just destroying something, he's all cocky and proud of her. It reminds him how much he loves her because she can take care of herself. One of the things he's always appreciated about her is that she doesn't let her insecurities or pride get her into situations that are too much for her to take. She's not arrogant. She doesn't show off. She's just there to get the job done. But that's what makes it so sexy to him.

So when he sees Rinko fighting, he's literally just like, 'That's my girl. So sexy and strong. I love her so much. Ass looks incredible, too. And she needs to hurry because as soon as she wraps this up, she's mine. Wonder how pissed she'll be if I just take her here-' because he's a horny boi who always wants to be inside her 😂😂

Advice for how to start with your fic?

Don't try to start from the beginning. Start somewhere in the middle, and work from there. The ending doesn't have to be established right away, either. That can develop as you figure out the story! But as for how and where to start, anywhere. Have a random bit of dialogue? Start with that. It doesn't have to stay in the end, but having something there will really help you. Write nonsense. Write ideas. Concepts. Anything to get those juices flowing. Because nothing is more daunting than a blank page.

Two things I saw recently made me realize that I already did these things most of the time:

Writing choppy, maybe cheesy or dumb dialogue. You can fill in the rest later, or not at all. You can change it up or edit it, but cutting and editing, or even re-writing, is easier than getting yourself to write the initial draft.

"You look like shit." "Sure know how to charm a girl, huh?" "You'd be more pissed if I lied to you." "True." "Still look awful, though." "Fuck off."

You don't have to put markers or indicators because it's a first draft. First draft and final draft are rarely going to match, and that's okay. Preferred most of the time, actually. But yeah, just toss that dialogue down to help you get started and then go from there!

Start with notes or random shit about what you want to happen. Some people put it in brackets to describe the setting, scene, or character's actions so that they can continue writing without being bogged down by the pressure to figure out the rest perfectly.

I'll provide an example or two from a WIP of the lockout key idea dump I posted a while ago. (I make no promises that I'll ever finish or post this, but it's the best example I could find that doesn't spoil a bunch of stuff for the other stories)

[he comes to ask for a key even though he's already maxed out his number of lockout keys. he ends up trying to lean in closer and she shoves a cookie in his mouth instead] - this one is a general idea and one thing I definitely want to happen in that scene/snippet

[fire drill in the middle of the night forcing everyone outside until the alarm stops going off. he forgets his key because he had to rush out while he was half-asleep.] - this one is describing the primary setting for the scene/snippet: they're outside, he's very sleepy, and he forgot his key.

All in all, don't be afraid of being random and choppy for your first draft!

I hope this advice helped, Rai! I'm afraid I might have babbled a bit... 🙃

IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU. I HOPE YOU'RE WELL!! 💕💕💕💕

[carmenized-onions]

Oh my onions ,

This chapter was the first thing I saw when I opened my phone this morning and I immediately started reading cause when I tell u I have been waiting for it like crazy. I took a break and kept reading after my statistics class (master’s thesis kicking my ass thank u). 

It was such a relief of the tension in the previous chapters, some honest moments between Carm and Tony and also the reality and craziness of their family and faks being around. 

I am so curious to see how the DD and kids dynamic will unfold cause in season 3 I bawled my eyes out in the ice chips episode and I was so happy Sug is taking those baby steps towards redefining her relationship with her mom now that she herself is one. It would be nice to see some cathartic moments here too(obviously given the complexity of the relationships cause lord knows it’s fucked to the core). 

HELL YOU ARE MAKING ME MISS CHRISTMAS NOW I KINDA WISH WE HAD LIKE A WEEK TILL CHRISTMAS IRL CAUSE I HATE THE SUMMER. 

cuteness baby Michaela and Tony (hohoho make her and Carmy babysit pls pls) 

RICHIE THE MAN THAT U ARE. he totally is an old fashioned in my brain so I get the whiskey and peaches thought Tony u are right. 

Also …. Sydney baby I can sense the tension…. I see u getting off the floor … I SEE U NOT SAYING IT BACK SO …. 

Also side note I always listen to music while reading this to set the cinematic vibe yk yk and today I happened to listen to father John Misty’s “I love u honey bear” and “everything is free” and COINCIDENTALLY they match the vibe quite perfectly make sure to check them out if that’s your vibe, I feel the lyrics to these 2 songs were kinda fitting to this chapter (are they my personal soundtrack that played in this episode ?! Yes they are !) 

Can’t wait for next one u never fail! Can’t wait for the Christmas special if u will. ALSO 14 K I know u said for both our sanities it’s getting shorter but I’m so glad I saw a double digit no pressure my love Heheheheheh !!!! I gotta stop yapping stay safe till next one :)))))

AHHH I hope the next one isn't shit, we're dropping in like idk whenever I finish answering these last couple asks that i've let sit in my inbox for DECADES (a couple weeks). If I failed this time, no one tell me. Let's all let onion live in ignorance okay. a handful of times i was like "what if I simply restarted" at like 8k in.

But I've finished my final draft edits and I think it's fine. I think it's a very necessary chapter. It's like how I felt about Doing Too Much back in the day, but now that one's like, one of my faves in terms of how much it actually establishes--- ANYWAYS WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT let's talk about your talkings

I hope your thesis went/is going well!! It's been so fucking long where is everyone on their life projects. Me personally I'm applying to OTHER FUCKING JOBS. Who wants to pay me to write CK full time? I'm so fr.

Chapter 14 will always be that girl when it comes to tension breaking. Like christ. Two Steps Back is my favourite chapter to reread because I love Mikey and Chip and I also think I am the most in my bag when I'm writing sad shit but Chapter 14 is always nice when I'm havin a ROUGH DAYY

I hope. When I do eventually cover DD. Which is tragically for me, quite soon, that I do it fucking any justice. I'm very thankful for the compliments comparing me to canon but MAN if anything is a test of my ability to understand these characters, Donna is my final fucking exam. I am so bad. At writing moms. Just in general. Ice Chips was truly like my favourite episode of the season too, so I hope I can do all the fucking insane dynamics of adulthood blended with motherhood justice. I can barely do them justice in my own life, YKNOW??? man.

Me and my roommates take christmas so fucking seriously. As we have for the past... 3 years. And now that this is our first christmas living together again, I truly start gift planning now. did someone say psychotic? NO. i just PUT THE DATES OF EVERY SALE OF EVERY IMPORTANT RELEVANT RETAILER IN MY PERSONAL CALENDAR. I'M NORMAL. FUCK YOU I'M NORMAL!! what i'm trying to say is, it's christmas whenever you decide it's christmas.

Ohhhh Michaela Blurb. Someone request it someone request it. I so hope in S4 they let that man be a good Uncle. I know he avoids family like the plague but come on man. its a BABY!!!!!

I hope everyone loves the drink menu I have planned, or I mean--- Sorry, the drink menu chip has planned. Jerimovich you whiskey peach bitch da MAN YOU ARE!!!

It's s o hard to not write like a little bit of tension with Syd. Like I can't not. It's so in my brain I cannot get squidink out of there someone call the police dont actually

i love. when an indie bitch enters my domain. i love father john misty!! I can so see those songs. There's a lot of songs I adored for this chapter. I think my most probably unagreed with would be I Like It, by DeBarge--- Listen, I know it's so cheery-- But that's exactly it. That is so Song That's Playing At The Wedding Outside The Bathroom While We Full Breakdown In Here. HEAR ME OUT OKAY

We are,,, at 15k for this chap. Chap 14 was 14k,,,, I feel like Chap 16 is not going to be 16k (but rather, horrifically, more), but it'd be cute to continue the pattern. I'll attempt to reduce myself.

Also:

I WISH THEY MADE A CHICAGO JOKE IN CANON, esp with Carmen's drive by about Musicals in ep2? Come on man. Chicago's (the city) like. top 3 of american cities for theatre. what the fuck. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ARTS???

i love chicago (the musical) (maybe also the city idk), so I had to give a little credit. And frankly, while writing that bit, I watched the moment back--- He did KIND OF RUN INTO IT, LIKE I HONESTLY THINK THAT WAS KIND OF AN ACCIDENT

anyways i'm gonna shut the fuck up now chapter out soon love you bye gotta answer more asks!!

[malusmagpie]

Hey Crow, do you have any writing tips.

I’m really good at writing for my English exams, I get top grades, but I struggle to write my own fanfiction, yk? I think one thing I struggle with is only focusing on dialogue. Writers in books will include the space, air, environment, the colour of the walls but idk how to write about the side stuff.

HIIII POOKIEEEE!!

my most honest answer is daydreaming. immerse yourself into your story, make it feel like yours. i’ve always had a vivid imagination and i can almost always hear, see, and almost smell my environment when i’m writing about it. take your time! sometimes writing comes in bursts, sometimes it comes in little waves. don’t rush it, build the world in your head and don’t ignore anything. it’s kind of like meditation in a way, you build this world in your head and kinda try your best tune deeply into it. it’s honestly helped me become more aware in real life and that in turn makes for even better writing cuz there is no inspo that is better than real life inspiration.

dialogue is harder to do though. read it in your head when you write it. can you imagine the conversation flowing the way you’ve written it between the two characters? think of their characteristics, how they’d respond to things is ALWAYS going to vary from character to character. this one’s a little bit like method acting, you have to kinda become them in your head. take on their personality for a moment. best way to do this is consuming any media that involves them or reminds you of them because you get a good feel for their actions and reactions. the one thing i find that ruins dialogue is when out of nowhere they have a completely uncharacteristic response to something. for example, ROTS anakin wouldn’t blush and stutter if he met you and you struck him as beautiful. he’d turn on the charm, toss you lopsided smile and ask you questions about yourself. AOTC anakin? he’d be a murmuring mess, just stumbling over himself and saying stupid shit without thinking.

once you get a feel for who you’re writing, it kinda sticks with you. it becomes like a second nature kinda thing.

LASTLY try not to over think it!!!!!!! over thinking dialogue will ruin a scene immediately, let it flow, make slight adjustments until it feels right. knowing when to stop tweaking something is important bc the first draft is almost always the most true to character thing you’ll write, it’s based off gut feelings and like straight vibes. tweaking it too much might kill the characteristics that make the character. (this one’s kinda circumstantial, you’ll know when you’ve over edited if you take a break and come back to proofread.)

all in all i think your writing is wonderful, what i get in my inbox from you is always a treat! it’s an art form, practice makes perfect.

granted, my entire high school life was about performing arts as i went to art school, so this kinda stuff was pretty much planted into my brain. it’s not easy and it takes a while for some people. don’t beat yourself up if you’re having trouble. take a breath and try again in a few hours. eat something, drink some water, maybe even take a nap. you need to be fuelled and replenished in order to use that noggin to write good stuff.

LOVE YALL SORRY THIS WAS A BIT OF A RAMBLE!

[fearowkenya]

Winds of Change

Chapter 4: Stemming the Tide

It’s hard to hold onto hope when panic and fear take root and start to spread, climbing the notches of his spine and weaving back and forth between his ribs. But Ryo knows now, that hope and fear can both exist at once—he’s seen it for himself.

The group witnesses something that looks a lot like a miracle, but it's still not enough to chase away everybody's fears. Ryo and Shuuji each find themselves with separate demons to battle as they resist the pull of despair.

ao3 link in source, extended end-of-chapter author's note below!

editing this chapter took WAY longer than usual. I do two proofreads per chapter before i post, and if i edit more than a couple of sentences at any point, i start the entire proofread over. needless to say, i did a LOT of editing and rereading before finally making it to my posting checklist. ultimately though im pretty happy with it. mostly im just so glad to have finally posted the scene that was jokingly titled "labramon the egg wizard" so i could talk about how much I enjoy the title "labramon the egg wizard". jokes that are for me

anyway, "labramon the egg wizard" is one of the first parts of this fic that i wrote! there's a skeletal outline of the events in that section in my replay notes, though a lot about that scene has changed since then. it was always going to be labramon who was gonna help out though! why labramon..? … … well she's a dog , and it made me go 'heheh' to think of her doing pointer behaviors. no other reason (:

i know we get renamon egg in moral, but i don't actually remember much of what that looked like because it lasted like 2 seconds. thats absolutely NOT what i wanted for shuuji - i wanted it to be a scene that completely bodies him, where hes got this unexpected second chance hovering just beyond his reach, but he has to confront exactly what he's done in order to get it. i dont remember a lot of 02, but that one episode where ken goes looking for wormmons egg has this very specific vibe where its like, "here's some hope for you when youre at your lowest but never forget that you seriously fucked it up". it was brutal but beautiful and then i cried a bunch i think. idk it was a long time ago. maybe im completely misremembering that scene, who can say. thats how it lives in my memories tho

in any case, i definitely wanted it to be from ryo's perspective for the same reason that the aftermath of wendimon was from his pov. he's so much more observant than shuuji, who would not take notice of what the others are doing and saying while he's in the middle of getting pingponged between hope and gut-wrenching remorse.

the middle section, titled in the draft as "mcfreakin losin it", was a lot of fun too! the Plan(tm) at the beginning was something i edited in pretty late in proofreading. having an itemized list like that might feel more like a "shuuji thing" than a "ryo thing", but i think ryo's active effort to take responsibility and try to help kunemon with what hes stressed about would lend to him trying to come up with something a little more concrete. unfortunately for ryo, he has no backup plan for when the first one is turned upside down, and we all know what happens when something catches him off guard lmao. it was actually really interesting to write ryo in a position where he's witnessing more or less what he himself is like when he shuts down. being the one who has to snap shuuji out of this state has ryo realizing that this is what takuma and kunemon have to deal with when he's the one freaking out. i think that's kinda fun.

the last section has what feels to me like the most editing. it really wasn't a section that i spent a lot of time fiddling with until now because the bulk of it was quoting or paraphrasing existing dialogue from the start of part 6 for context, then diverging into what that scene looks like in a world where lopmon isn't around to be unable to explain what happened. like i said on ao3, as i was reading over the canon dialogue in truthful for reference, i realized i really just…didn't like it much. the argument escalates and de-escalates several times but never to a degree that feels all that extreme, and ends up feeling like it's just dragging out for no reason. people make their points at times that feel WEIRD, particularly ryo. lemme see if i can explain this.

so ryo doesnt say this til the latter half of this argument, and i HATED THAT because it's like… after everything he's been through with kunemon, it doesn't feel right that he's having those doubts. but i thought about it and i actually think it makes sense for him to have a momentary lapse where he slips back into old habits - letting fear take over and pushing away anything and anyone that has even the slightest chance of hurting him. he spent a LOT of time in that mindset, and even though he's working on reversing it, it's not gonna happen in a day. that said… the placement of ryo's doubts in the canon dialogue still feels super weird. i think it makes a lot more sense for him to panic at the very beginning of this argument, and then calm down as he remembers how solid his bond with kunemon is before sticking up for the digimon a little more aggressively. it just feels so passive in-canon when i think he would have taken a much more active role in defending falcomon and the others once 1) he remembers the context surrounding what happened in the waterway, and 2) he's reminded of how kunemon has helped him change.

i know some of the weird pacing of this dialogue is because the player needs to have input at some point, but i think takuma could've been much more powerless during this argument - the game has no problem taking away agency, since saving ryo is the only thing that will save shuuji, no matter what the player does. maybe im nitpicking, idk.

regardless, minoru's dialogue makes the most sense, but i still think it could have been condensed into a much sharper and more sudden escalation. it keeps being like "(minoru voice) IM MAD IM MAD" "(takuma voice) chill" "(minoru voice) oops sorry. … … … IM MAD IM MAD IM MAD" "(takuma voice) calm down" "(minoru voice) oops. … … … IM MAD IM MAD" etc etc etc. it just made the argument feel weak and drawn-out instead of intense and explosive.

i did keep some of it though! i thought that minoru's paranoia and sudden fear of trusting his partner was pretty compelling, which is why i kept those doubts in and quoted the lines about him wanting falcomon to prove his loyalty.

i chose those lines specifically because they say a LOT about minoru once you connect this argument with what i think is the root of his insecurities - his parents' divorce.

it's funny because as far as im aware, The Divorce doesn't even come up unless you choose an INCORRECT ANSWER in an OPTIONAL affinity event with minoru. im not 100% sure thats the only mention though! im currently at pt8 of my replay where the goal is to see every bit of truthful route dialogue possible. if it comes up in other routes, i managed to miss it lmao. anyway, because of that, for the longest time i thought The Divorce was just a popular headcanon, and didn't actually see that dialogue until recently. but as soon as i did i started looking at the stuff he does and says through the lens of somebody who was affected extremely poorly by his parents divorce, and it contextualized A LOT for me. suddenly the way he reacts in pt 6 makes so much sense, because imo falcomon turning around and killing him isn't his only concern: he's also terrified that he was vulnerable in front of someone who doesn't actually care.

pre-game minoru lacks a support system, and is afraid to rely on a new one. im not going to go on about it for too long because we'd be here all day, but im pretty sure that his parents divorce was MESSY, and he witnessed all of it. that same event where he mentions to takuma that his parents are divorced is also when he says that he doesn't think his mom has noticed that he's missing, even though at this point the kids believe that they've been gone for several days. he doesn't see his mother as support because she's too busy working, and since he doesn't even know where his father currently lives, clearly he doesnt get much if any support from his dad. the difficulty minoru has in shedding the goofy exterior and being genuine and vulnerable in front of people makes me think that he never found a support system to replace the one that he watched crumble in realtime when his parents split.

prior to part 6, we can assume that minoru started to see falcomon as someone that he could allow to see his insecurities. i also believe that minoru understood that shuuji and lopmon's relationship was supposed to look a lot like his and falcomon's, or like anybody else and their partner's. minoru could see lopmon trying to be supportive, so the dysfunction only seemed like it was on shuuji's end. so when lopmon flies off the handle and tries to murder shuuji, one of the things that minoru gets from it is that, no, actually, the trust and support that the digimon have for their partners is NOT unconditional. i think that watching this happen looks exactly like how it felt when the support system he'd had in his parents completely fell apart, except the lopmon situation comes with a fun extra "I'm going to kill you" sort of vibe that tells minoru that his relationship with falcomon is just not safe.

or worse, maybe that support system was never real in the first place. what if there was something darker beneath the surface that he just couldn't see?

anyway.

now, as dracmon says, all we gotta do is hurry up and wait. well. you do. i dont, im gonna be editing chapter 5 til the cows come home. im getting the distinct impression that it's gonna require even more reworking than this chapter did.

but that's neither here nor there - id love to hear your Gamer Theories about what im cooking up. there are a few things that are still going unaddressed after four chapters, and i wonder how much of it can be puzzled out based on what i've said so far. obviously im not able to see the story from a reader's perspective, so im not really able to gauge if the stuff that's being foreshadowed or otherwise implied is starting to become clearer. so please consider leaving a comment with what you think, or your favorite part or anything else that stood out to you! I'd much appreciate it. thank you for reading, and see you… mm… nnnnext…week…? ideally.

[abbysbasement]

wip list! longpost with a poll!

(divider - animatedglittergraphics-n-more)

currently have 20 reqs, trying to fill older ones first, but it mostly depends on which ones interest me the most at a certain time! Working on shorter ones tonight, but there are some longer ones I want to explore deeper! Here's a peek at some oneshots/requests that I plan on releasing, as well as some longer fics I have planned! And because I like to have fun here, you can choose which one you want released first!

not specially ordered or anything ;w;'

ONESHOTS/LONGFIC

(will be around the length of Morale Adjustment at minimum, or longer)

ABBY ANDERSON

THE Bespoke Abby Breeding Fic - TITLE: TOP DOG. Yes, the one I swore I would post like a week ago. It's super long and initially didn't have an intro so I've been working on it on and off. Partially in bulleted format, transitions to standard OS format after. 3k+ words. breeding, rough sex, blowjob/titjob, unprotected sex, creampies (lol), abby kinda babytraps reader. source universe, abby is slightly older than in canon (23-24ish), reader is younger (19-21?) and the wlf has actual ranks (translated: I looked up military rankings on google and started bullshitting) I wrote this on my period (translate: I'm a gross whore) abby is kind of mean but it's hot, get slutty about it. 90% completion. Has three (much shorter and more experimental) parts.

'You wanted to be wanted this way. To be desired and used completely, to be owned.'

The Bespoke Pornstar!Abby Fic - TITLE: XXX/RED LIGHT. The reader is a new rising star in the world of lesbian porn. One night, before your first anxiety-ridden scene, your costar arrives at your trailer to calm your nerves. Abby is the industry's top adult performer, practically the girl-on-girl bible famous for her rough, bad girl persona on stage, and her soft interior. You're given the persona of sex kitten; innocent, naive, and ready for the plucking, and in your first scene, her job is to break you in. Perhaps multiple parts, 3k+ words. Ellie is going to make an appearance as a 'rival' AV Performer, (but off camera her and Abs are good friends) who you'll have a later BD/SM scene with. Extremely rough draft, so no content tags yet.

"I'll do all of the work, baby. Just look straight in the camera and give your fans a pretty face to get off to."

The Bespoke Prisoner!Abby Fic - TITLE: DOIN' TIME (or something corny like that, we'll see.) When you're new in prison, they always tell you, go up to the biggest guy in the room and punch him in the face. Terrible advice, by the way. But when you're locked up on a misdemeanor and sent to a women's correctional facility, the rules are a bit different. So you find the biggest girl in the room, and you fuck her. Obviously. Extremely rough, no content tags. 3k+ words.

'Abby offered a deal; she gave you what you wanted, and you gave her what she wanted.'

The Bespoke and Formerly Scrapped College!Abby Fic - TITLE: PAPI BONES. Your roommate Dina drags you to a college frat party, and you hate it, all crowds and sweat and people. You wish you were home, but in a cruel twist of fate, a drunken game of spin the bottle turns into you, face to face in a dark closet with the captain of the rugby team and her head between your legs. studious!reader, jock/loverboy!abby, assplay, cunnilingus (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), primal!adjacent? i wrote in my editing notes, 'almost corruption, but pure?' so let that set the tone for you. potential part 2. Actually 90% complete, I just started beating myself up about it for no reason ;w;

"“s’okay baby, tell me how you want me. i’m yours.” and you thought that declaration would destroy you, ‘i’m yours.’  and it felt very, very real."

MINIFICS/DRABBLES (No poll for these because they'll all make it to the blog at some point)

ABBY

Bimbo!Reader x Abby Anderson (Mechanic!Abby? idk. She makes good money and reader is spoiled asl though.) dumbification, rough sex, there's a scene where reader sucks abby's strap while she's chewing bubblegum and licks the splattered gum off so there's that, spanking, face slapping, abby calls reader her fleshlight. partial HC/blurb format?

Semipublic sex with abby in her bedroom window

A/B/O WW Abby, breeding, half wolf!reader. she mounts and rawfucks you with her massive monster cock while you're in heat. primal, marking, too big cock/stretching pussy, mindbreak, impregnation. 2-2.5k.

ELLABS

Abby and Ellie are members of a rock band, you're a groupie and you'll do anything to get on the tour bus...

Abby and Ellie are both bad cops when it comes to training you, and they help the other keep you in line.

"Didn't she tell you to fucking behave?"

ELLIE

bully!ellie, dubcon/CNC esque? ellie steps on readers cunt with her boot. pussyslaps, knifeplay, degradation, she is not a nice young lady. 1.5-2k words.

dealer!ellie headcannons

ellie blasphemy kink oneshot

DINA/DINELLIE

Roommate dina corrupting innocent!reader. Somno, caring dom!dina, dina has a hairy pussy because I said so, dina takes reader's virginity with a dildo, sloppy makeouts, flashback of dina 💦 to the sounds of reader masturbating while thinking dina is asleep, Dina has big boobs and playfully does a cute boob comparison and plays w readers titties. this one might actually get pushed up because I'm thinking nasty ***** thoughts. you bump coochies with dina, that's the fic.

Your friend Dina takes you over to her sneaky link, and the campus dealer, Ellie's house. Unbeknownst to you, they invited you over to score in another way, too. dom!ellie, soft dom! dina, sub!ellie. drug use, strap on penetration, voyeurism, cunnilingus, cum swapping, mutual strap sucking, mutual masturbation.

yeah... that's all i got for you babies. enjoy.

[toburnup]

okay i LOVED learning those most recent tidbits about your writing process, especially approx how long it can take you to write/edit! makes me feel so much better about my own wips lmao. especially with something as complex as iylo. i think it’s the easy-going kinda flow or vibe of your writing (though dgmw, you know how to make every line pack a serious punch) that made me assume you tend to bang this shit out hella quick… when in reality it sounds like it takes a pretty reasonable (“reasonable”) amt of time.

on this note i am so curious about your drafting process. like, how do you not get caught up fleshing out all the details in the moment? am i just terrible at writing outlines? feels like i’m always setting a hard goal to write short standalones but they always get out of hand

hahahah oh good, i'm glad it was interesting!!! i'd say my writing style on here is very casual, so. i like that that's the vibe i give off 😌

!! the drafting process! it's messy but it usually goes something like this (long post ahead!)

i start by writing dialogue or a specific moment from the scene i'm most excited to get to. i don't force myself to start at the beginning because who even knows where the beginning is.

dialogue can be a good place to start because it can lay out a whole dynamic in just a few exchanges (the best example i can think of this is when i wrote thirty days, because the first part i wrote was the "you should probably leave" - "why?" - "'cause i'm going to jerk off" - "i don't want to go" - "fine. stay." exchange which set up the whooole fic)

....and then i keep writing until i run out of steam lol. if i'm writing a scene and need to jump ahead because of an idea or whatnot, i just type // so i know i need to come back there (easy to search the doc for a symbol of some kind when it comes to editing). can't think of a specific word? i just pop a // in there as a placeholder.

once i've written out the meatier bit (ugh), i go back to the scene i started with, and then write backwards from there until i find a spot that feels like it could be the beginning (i mean i say that, but this is usually a lot of jumping around).

and that's the first draft!

i don't outline ahead of time, or write out plot points or anything. mostly because a) i have no idea what's gonna happen and b) i like character-driven stories and i find those motivations by writing them

that's the big reason i write dialogue without an end goal in mind - sometimes writing the lines or hearing them in my head takes the conversation in a different direction than i would've originally planned, and that can lead to some Good Moments

i’m always setting a hard goal to write short standalones but they always get out of hand

this happens to me too, for sure. i've found it's helpful to move away from the setup portions of a fic. and also being okay with things not being 100% clear (in terms of motivation, characters feelings, all that) and leaving some gaps for the reader to fill. and also being okay with your writing being misinterpreted.

idk if this is helpful at all!! my main thing is don't stop yourself from fleshing out the details. if there's a big scene you want to get to, don't force yourself to slog through the parts you don't want to write just to get there. i find it's almost easier to do it that way, because then you get to write the earlier parts with the question of: "what choices do they make to become the people in that scene?"

don't deprive yourself!! if you want to delve right into the details, do it.

[sydneyshipsstuff]

answering both of the recent tag games in one since im lazy (so scroll for the questions below the bingo)

tagged by @professional-benaddict (sorry for responding so late lol) and because i dont have too many mutuals, tagging anyone who sees it & wants to do it!

I chose my baby Spider-Man/Peter Parkee, with a focus on the starker fandom!

1. How did you discover your fave?

spider-man movies -> video edits on insta/tiktok -> irondad fanfics on wattpad -> ao3 -> looking at starker in disgust -> becoming a part of the fandom

2. How long have you been a fan of your fave?

since homecoming! when it first came out but it took me a while to start interacting with the fandom

3. Do you write for your fave? (E.g. AU's, Drabbles, Fan Fics.)

sorta! i don't actively write, just kinda drabble sometimes and i mostly dont post that, plus helping others write, i do have drafts that have been in my docs for years though

4. Do you like what is canon about your fave?

i do but i feel bad for him! poor guy has nobody :((, but before endgame i was in love with canon.

5. Tell some of your headcanons of your fave.

•his spider abilities on top of the originals like purring, cant have peppermint, hibernates, etc

•his love of animals, always stopping on patrols to say hi to them or trying to keep the strays he finss

•being worthy of mjolnir and picking it up without knowing the significance

•that he worms his way into the hearts of everyone he meets

6. Do you draw for your fave? (E.g. Fan Art)

no i dont, but i love seeing others fan art obviously!

7. If your fave/s are portrayed by several actors, who are your fave portrayers?

basic, ik, but tommy.

8. Are you more into Books/ Comics/Films when it comes to your fave?

mostly the fanfics then anything, but the movies and comics are so entertaining.

9. Quote anything about what your fave has said.

this ones weird but when i went to new york i went out of my way to go to moma because of him mentioning it to tony

10. Quote your favourite line of your fave!

basic but the "When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you." because even though its sad/semi unhealthy to put that pressure on yourself, i relate to it in a way and uphold myself to helping whenever i can.

11. Ever made a edit for/of your fave?

i dont think so? maybe photos but that would have been a while ago

12. Songs you associate with your fave?

anything to do w new york really

13. If your fave was real, do you think they'd like you?

i think so, if we meant in a natural way lolol, i try to be social and i think id be able to joke with him

14. Amongst your fave/s who do you think are you? (E.g. You have 5 faves, amongst the 5 of them you think of yourself as fave no.3)

skipping because i only am answering for the one

15. Do you know your fave origin story?

yes i doo, radioactive spider bite, yada yada, parents dead, yada yada, uncle shot, rip, grew up in queens & stayed there

16. In 1 word describe your fave’s aesthetic.

akward

17. Is/Are your fave/s famous on A03?

yes very much, but mostly for irondad

18. Ships that you like with your fave?

i do like irondad if thats even considered a ship, peter w tony, harley, steve, stephen, and bucky, either seperate or at the same time, and im open to other pairings too

19. Is/Are your fave/s well known?

yes very well

20. If your fave/s have a fandom, what do you think about the fandom?

i like them, idk if theyd like me now that ive gone to the dark side lol

21. Describe yourself using something your faves have said

oops kinda did this already for another question but, "I am Responsible. I…Oh crap. My backpack’s gone." I try to be responsible but i am very clumsy and forgetful lol, and i do a lot of stupid shit

22. If you would feed your fave/s something, what would it be?

as big of a meal as i could possibly make, very carby, probably pasta, get some meat on those bones and feed the super apetite

23. How do you see yourself in any of your fave/s?

i see the optimism/ akwardness in myseld as well, we are semi-close in age so i think that contributes to it

24. Ever taken a break from your fave/s?

sorta, it was very short and it was mostly in between going from irondad to starker as well as small breaks i took from everything lol

25. If your fave/s were to have a crossover, who and which character would they have a crossover with?

well they did have one with stephen and the other spidermen but i think it would be cool to see him really interacting w the women of marvel, aka kate, yelena or natasha (also rip), pepper, captain marvel, america chavez, etc.

[drippingmoon]

This or That Writer Edition

Done this before, but y'know, you're completely right @sleepy-night-child. I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to ramble some more because I really feel like it. Thanks so much, nightfriend❤ this really is therapeutic

And for that matter, anyone can join me. Open tag<3 the questions will be, uh, behind the cut.

1. historical or futuristic

I kinda love reading about history hahaha, and it was mostly fantasy in medieval settings that got me into writing, so this is a no-brainer. (Even my sci-fi shortie will have some dated technology🤣 for plot reasons, of course)

2. the opening or closing chapter

Mmm idk what it is about them, but endings always come to me naturally🥰 surprisingly with 'quiv it was both, but it was also meant to be a short story before it spun out of control🤷‍♀️ and though I kinda know where I wanna start Icy, fun fact! I have the endings for all three books down and detailed😇 I guess it's always the ending that draws me to writing a story🥺

3. light + fluffy or dark + gritty

how do you even separate them. Okay, when I first started writing I was all for the latter, but that changed quickly. 'Quiv has me loving it as much as I do especially because at its core it was a warmer, gentler story full of hope🥰

4. animal companion or found family

Before 'quiv, my casts used to be fully animal or >50% comprised of animal characters. Even now angel mannerisms are more bird-like in nature than human🤣 animals have always owned my entire heart❤ you've never known true love until you've had it curl in your lap🥺 Also, I'm all for the 'two people against the world' which doesn't really fit found families

5. horror or romance

Just saying, the Turning🤷‍♀️ and some of you might know I'm all about platonic love, soooo. Oh, and my sci-fi shortie will also be horror🤔 though I guess Icy breaks the mold and is a romantic comedy...

6. hard or soft magic system

Can't really have dances and song as time and emotion magic feature as a hard system. And I like to surprise myself when writing too🤣 so no systems. Would make me anxious and 100% like all my plans I would *not* follow them lol

7. standalone or series

...not gonna lie, I'm really drawn to series🤣 but that's also how I got burnt out, and since 'quiv is my love, I'll go with standalones. They're a much different writing experience🤔 feel a lot more compact. There's no "later", and that hit differently and in a good way😳

8. one project at a time or always juggling 2+

I did try juggling. I really did. I said, if I get in the mood to start something else, then that's what I'm gonna do. But apparently only one wip can devour my entire mind at a time, and though I can brainstorm for the others, after a few hours I just yearn to go back to 'quiv, you know? It's complete brainrot🥰🥰

9. one award winner or one bestseller

One finished book, I digress lmao

10. fantasy or sci-fi

^same as the historical/futuristic one. I guess fantasy doesn't have aliens🤔 and it's been growing on me lately with all y'all wips🥺🥰 but fantasy will always be my beloved

11. character or setting description

Character descriptions run the risk of turning into lists😬 I mean, settings also should. But for some reason they've also come more naturally to me, and I enjoy them loads more🥰 and lately I've started describing characters like settings, ie 'as beautiful as rain' 🤣🤣 but that's cheating. Also also. Let me just say. Star descriptions🥺 idk how angels in space came to me as an idea, but it was by far the best I've ever had. I have so much fun writing the setting💞

12. first or final draft

If final drafts are anything like, second, third, fourth drafts, then first drafts oh my god

13. Literary or commercial genre

I don't believe in these genres lol

14. love triangle in everything or no romance arcs

Never seen the appeal about love triangles, but then again I'm not a romance person. Just give me two people loving each other deeply and it'll turn into 'quiv I'll be satisfied🥰🥰 and no, for the record, it doesn't have to be carnal for it to be love or soulmates to me

15. constant sandstorm or rainstorm

How can you not love rain?? For plot-related reasons or not, once it gets to the rainy season I really feel like it's restored some life to me🥰🥰 and rainy settings are godsends for scenes. That, and I've never been fond of desert settings

[pizzee]

What are some of your favorite behind the scenes details, parallels, themes, or processes that went into creating sudden unexpected guitar solo that you want to talk about/point out?

Ok strap in because this is gonna be a longy cause I love talking ab my writing and I feel like I went a little off my rocker writing this one. I’m gonna work backward from how u asked because I feel like it’ll work better that way idk.

Processes: i always start a fic with one scene, then build the rest of the story around it. This fic though, was very very different. Id originally started writing a megalong, CYOA fic (yea I know crazy right) that I got like 20k words into then dropped. It was shit, and boring. But I didn’t want to waste the material. So I ditched the old idea and went back to my original concept: Jake character study. And from there, I built.

I had a tooooon of leftover scenes I wanted to use so I kept those and made a little outline. Just general story beats I wanted to hit on. Then I went looking for inspo, which came from the usual sources. Kendrick Lamar, particularly the song ‘Mirror’, second main inspo was from an unreleased Kanye song. I went back to these lines a lot for the vibe I wanted, which was kinda lightly melancholy, a little angry, a little hopeful.

Here’s a bit of the planning process

Then, then I started writing. Well, a little before that I picked out the bits of scraps I wanted to include and put them in some sort of order that made sense, choose a story structure that would make sense (this was the hardest part. I was originally going to do completely linear but it was not working, so I went with linear intercut with extensive flashbacks which I don’t think I’ve ever done but i like experimenting with structure anyway so it worked out alright), then I started writing. First scene I fully wrote out was the last one of chapter one, the scene with Layla. That’s actually the least changed scene too. Then from there, I wrote in order. Some scenes like Gena’s diner I wrote all the dialogue first then went back and added on. Others like the trip to Chicago was just all flow time baby. I edited some of the scrap scenes to fit the context of the story, did a few changes, then was pretty much on my way to finishing.

Oh and the title. That was actual the very first thing I wrote for this. I always write titles first cause I’m a madman, and I had this one sitting in my drafts for the longest time. I know it’s kind of the opposite vibe of the fic but I really like it and I think it kinda works. Chapter titles were also fun. I got the Jakob’s Ladder one while reading the Wikipedia page on the historial Jacob and found the themes fitting. The great Chicago fire one I remembered from a project I did in like 9th grade.

Themes: ok another way this story was super different: I actually wrote out the themes. Wooow I know I’m so organized. Main thing I wanted to hit on was that there would be no grand conclusion. No big confessions, no huge reveals, none of that. Even though the fic is long, I didn’t want it to feel big. In terms of scale of story but also how the themes are handled. Plus, it’s a Jake fic. So themes of personhood, self worth, belonging come with the cab driver.

That’s not to say there aren’t kind of major moments. I try to keep most of those in the past. The Passover flashback (and god damn were wendy’s lines hard to write), the whole military etc flashback. I think there’s only two moments of palpable anger in the present day sections: when Jake is half angry at Steven in Gena’s diner, and when he’s half angry at Marc in the headspace gym. I wanted to reserve the present for quieter parts. Some of that good healing in the present from past traumas thematic through lines, ya know?

Little domestic moments are my faves to write, mostly because Im allergic to actual intricate plots, also because I like contrasting the somber tone of the flashback scenes with the more gentle present. (Ah but I’ll save that for the parallels section, and speaking of…)

Parallels: most clear one is between the past and present. There’s a permeating sadness ab their childhood in a lot of fics I read I really wanted to capture, and I wanted it to be kind of… settling in? In the flashbacks versus easing up in the present. I really love making loops in stories, like linking the ending themes to the beginning, but this fic is more of a spiral outward. Things start in one place and circle around but don’t ever really end. Ok other parallels.

His name! The Jacob name story. That section was a segment of one of the Jake routes from that CYOA scrapped project that focused briefly on his name. I’ve lightly mentioned Jake’s Hebrew name in previous fics, or what I headcanon it to be, and when I was researching Hebrew names and their significance, I came upon the name Jacob. Then searched up the significance and thought that’s be a cool thing to weave throughout the story. Something something, the significance of names in defining our personhood and the power of having one and knowing someone’s name. And I like characters figuring out their names. Steven gives him Jakob (Steven with a v, Marc with a c, Jakob with a k), Marlene gives him Jake, he gives himself Lockley, then Jake gives Frenchie his full name, exchanges his name with Gena. And doesn’t give Elias anything. I liked that.

This is a bit of a smaller parallel, but the Jake Reveal and the final scene. I purposefully kept the Jake Reveal vague and short because again, no big reveals or anything was my rule, but I wanted the vibe to kind of parallel the vibe of the final scene. It’s Marc and Steven talking over Jake, picking him apart trying to understand him vs them talking around and with him, just naturally going with him. Them asking his name vs them saying it again and again. That was fun to write.

Oh and the parallel between the locket, the box, and the gloves. Keeping things safe, protected in a locket close to his chest vs a ground box in a city he hasn’t been to in decades that has all of their worst moments stored vs the chosen, physical barrier of the gloves. It’s just protection in different fonts.

Details: can we talk about the box? I wanna talk about the box let’s talk about the box. It actually came to me from this cigar box my mom gave me that I was trying to make into a jewelry box. I saw it and was like, “hm putting things of sentimental value in a box, compartmentalizing taken literally?” I think that one was one of the more obvious metaphors.

But my fave one was the locket. That was a thing I’ve had in my scraps forever and was actually inspired by the lock and key metaphor thing I’ve read in a lot of other fics for Jake’s last name. I loved the idea and had it spinning in my mind when I was writing but I didn’t want to use it like that because something something originality so I was like “Lockley… lock… locket.” and ran with that. And honestly? I really like it :) oh and the poem inside, I’d never read it before this fic but it fit the themes and vibes pretty good. Oh shit and

Boxer Marlene! So I really love the whole Marc is a boxer thing from the comics.I also really don’t like Marlene. Which yea not a hot take but I wanted to like her without like girlbossifying her. So I wrote her as a boxer because a) I needed a way to incorporate her into the story without fucking up the timeline and b) I think that’s cool as fuck. Thus, Marlene Arlaune became a woman from New York who’s attending the university of Chicago and really likes boxing. And she’s real fucking good at it too (which was inspired by comics Marlene learning some martial arts).

The happy endings line came from a tumblr post I think. I don’t remember which one exactly but I read it and immediately jotted it down because it was really fucking good. Anyway, I just wanted to write Layla again, because I adore her, so I wrote that little scene between them. Which is one of my faves.

Speaking of fave scenes, the Passover scene and Elias scene are up there. The Passover scene was pretty easy to write, minus Wendy an Jake’s exchange because I had to make sure my Spanish wasn’t completely grammatically incorrect. That section was inspired by the Lemire run, cause I really like the idea of them running away. And the Elias scene. I really really love it. Idk I feel like that’s the most Jake Jake I’ve ever written. It works ta me. Khonshu was also going to be a bigger part of the story and link up with the themes surrounding Elias and their parents but there was already so much going on shoving him in there would’ve been overstuffed.

Extra things:

- Sudden unexpected guitar solo was inspired by the Fooly Cooly ending song and the music battle in Doctor Strange in MoM. Really love those guitars.

- This was going to be part 2 of a three part series, all with obnoxiously long music related names and focusing on Steven, Jake, and Marc each. I was gonna call the series interior crocodile alligator. No I’m not kidding

- The gym I had in mind while writing that Jake vs Marc scene was the one from daredevil. I love my dumpster diving disaster diva daredevil

- The big tree in the headspace field was originally going to be a massive astrolabe, cause space. I changed it last minute.

- The dialogue between Marlene and Jake in their first flashback sequence was leftovers from a Jane/Valkyrie fic I started before going to see Th4r then dropped after watching it💀

- There’s a little section in the Chicago visit scene that I just ripped from an irondad fic i abandoned. the part ab trying ice cream for the first time

- Crawley was supposed to make an appearance. I might’ve forgotten ab that

- I had the last scene written for months. It was one of the first things I wrote. The last thing I wrote was the final flashback with Marlene. I added it last minute to tie things up a little neater.

- Repetition is my best friend, my soulmate, I couldn’t live without repetition

- LET STEVEN SAY FUCK!!! I think I got that from a fic where Marc was more hesitant to su duck than Steven. I really liked that

- My fave scene: the Elias talk and immediate aftermath in the backyard. It was originally going to be a grand confrontation where Jake gave a whole spiel and proudly proclaimed his name but… him asking for more sugar instead seemed more fitting

- Fave line: "Did you just say the f-word?" Sometimes, very rarely, I make myself exhale sharply through my nose in a mimicry of a laugh

- Fave moment: the “you’re not dodging” bit in the headspace. Kinda broke my own heart there ngl

- Yea there’s a reference to another one of my Jake fics, “quizás, quizás, quizás” in there.

- Yea there’s a Dane Whitman cameo

- Yea this was an extremely elaborate way for me to promote my Jake lockley has a sweet tooth agenda

[fortisfilia]

Hiii! This is @riddlesia if you don't remember, it's totally understandable. I sometimes forget my food in the middle of making it, and the only reason i would remember it is because my mom would yell at me for leaving a half made sandwich on the counter

First off, you are sort of a teacher to me. You know that one English teacher you'll never forget? Yeah, you're kinda like that to me

And second, if you don't mind fo course, could you give tips on writing multi chaptered long fics??

I am yet to brainstorm it properly, but my main problem is getting started. Like... How do you begin???

hellooOOoo yes ofc i remember you :)

lmao omg me, a teacher.. that’s so sweet, bc i also have an english teacher i’ll never forget, except that he really was one!

okay so i usually plan my multi chapter fics in advance but not very thoroughly. most of the time there’s just one line, trope, scenario or even just a ~vibe~ i have in mind that inspires a whole series. and at first i only know where it starts and where it’ll end. nothing in between lol, that’s the hard part.

i then start word vomiting inside a google doc and just type my thoughts and where everything could lead. i type this very rough first draft exactly as i would say it eg “so first they meet, idk where yet and then theres this guy. his name could be josh. no, maybe jake. anyway, they’re by this tree that can talk (lmao) and then….” and so on. i found this helps me to keep going the most. just stupid rambling.

once the word vomit is out (that’s a very very rough draft of the whole story, could only be one page), i start drafting chapters - also roughly but less word-vomity. just so i get a sense of how many chapters it’ll be in total.

and then i draft the first and second chapter more precisely. i always do the one i’m writing rn and the one after, so i know where to lead everything. and then i just 🙄🙏🏼 finally write something. if i’m lucky!

when i get stuck even though i have ideas and theoretically know where the story should go, i set a timer for like 20 or 30 minutes and just write, no distractions, researching, spell checking, just try and write as many words as i possibly can and edit it afterwards.

hope this helps xx

[eddie-scarpa-lived]

idk how in-character this feels but i'm imagining eddie confronting henry over the drug dealing and initially saying something like "where's the money?"–something where henry's pretty sure what he's talking about, but that doesn't outright mention the drugs so he can't be 100% certain–and henry tries to play it off, asks him what he means (if there's even a slight chance he's wrong, he isn't about the reveal himself) and eddie just smacks the shit out of him without warning. that, or...he seems relatively under control at first, but when he says something about breaking the rules, henry brings up that carlo's doing the same thing, and that's when eddie hits him. it's a far cry from his usual "get really pissed for a few seconds and then calm down" routine and that scares the shit out of henry (in fact i think i have a drafted scene of the latter option, somewhere). bonus if eddie is stone cold sober for once. idk i just love the drama of eddie just going after him out of nowhere without really blowing up the way henry himself tends to, just...icy cold anger.

oh i am totally with you on this one! I think this is actually the first time Eddie actually shows Henry how scary he can be - because I assume he was kinda "ok" with the failed hit on Galante (somehow; maybe he naturally tried to believe into the "Galante at least left the city so that's a win"), but now, everything comes crashing down at Eddie and he's really stressed and worried - maybe Carlo's being more paranoid, also Eddie had to deal with the shit after Vito's house burnt down (remember how Vito says "There was even some trouble with the cop, but Eddie took care of that" at the beginning of chapter 12?), and like generally things are not looking that great.

Also, I think it's important to mention that - at least according to the Frankie Potts files - Eddie was not that keen on doing the drug business with Carlo either.

so naturally, when he learns about Henry doing the business (plus he probably connects it with the shootout at the Sea Gift Co.?), he gets angry not only because Henry is breaking the rules, but also because he's doing something what he himself is kinda opposed to, and also he probably has a lot of other shit to deal with. Plus of course Henry already failed the hit on Galante (and Eddie knows about it, judging by Vito's words - "Even though Henry failed to deliver on the contract, Eddie still brought him in when he heard Leo had skipped town")

so Eddie knows that this former Clemente guy who fucked up one big task already and was given a second chance by him personally (I doubt Carlo knows), has started doing what he is opposed to with Carlo (but with Carlo, Eddie quietly accepts the drug business since he's the boss and also because of their personal relationship). with Henry, he just feels betrayed.

i'm pushing into this also my own agenda of "Henry and Eddie growing closer during the two months between chapters 11 and 12"", where maybe Eddie for once feels like he has a true friend - and I'm thinking maybe he even somehow let a couple of information slip (about the drug business Carlo is involved in) - and now he feels like the moment of weakness and vulnerability backfired and Henry fucked him over

so I wouldn't be surprised if he really lashes out and threatens to kill Henry (although Carlo only sent him to collect the money; but Eddie is a bit drunk and also lets his personal feelings take over for a moment)

but, after all, he blames himself more than Henry actually. so in the end, he would shake his head and say something like. "how could I ever trust you?" and just snatches the money from Henry.

edit: maybe he is not drunk at all but looks a little bit like his usual “drunk” self, but it’s all just because he’s disheveled and it’s the passion and hatred and madness of the moment, and maybe Henry says “Eddie, you’re drunk” and it makes Eddie completely fly off the handle and be like “Don’t you dare” - because he was always berated by Carlo for “being drunk” whenever he tried to talk about some stuff or do some stuff

[stillgeekingout]

writing tip that I did not come up with but that has been working very well for me since I started doing it:

everyone always says "write a shitty first draft" which is TRUE but I had always underestimated just *how* shitty to write it. Literally write your first draft of a scene the way it pops into your brain with no regard for grammar or content or anything except putting it down.

For example:

Jane is looking really stressed so sally walks over to her and she's like hey jane what's up and then jane is like ughhh I lost my cat and sally's like oh no bad!!! "yeah ikr" and sally is kinda in her head like ugh jane I wanna help you but I rly don't have time for this rn... but she decides to help bc she cares about jane. So they both go looking for the cat *yada yada conversation while they're looking* and then when they find the cat it's like up a tree, so then sally is like oh shit idk how to climb trees!

Etc etc you get it.

And then once I have the whole scene written out like that, I go back through and start writing it more real. Even on the second pass, if I start getting stuck on a certain sentence or bit, I put something like "Sally wondered if it was the right moment to [something something she cares about jane but she's busy]. 'Okay, sure, I'll help,' she said after a moment." With the parts of the sentence that I still don't know about or don't like in brackets. Sometimes I leave a full paragraph of my "shitty version" in brackets and skip past it.

More often than not, I'm able to get through scenes SO MUCH FASTER this way than my old way where I would let myself get stuck deliberating on how to word things or what should happen next, even in my "bad first draft". Then once I have the whole scene, it still might be bad, but it's there and now I have something to work with! And unless I think of something right away, I don't come back and agonize over the bracketed bits until way later when I return to edit that scene.

I don't know if this is a common problem but I just wanted to share an example because it was a lightbulb moment for me when I realized "bad first draft" could mean "absolute nonsense, but it lays out the scene for you more than an outline would".

[cinnamon-bunni]

1, 22, 29, 30, and 72!

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike? I definitely do a lot of day dreaming beforehand. I like to Think about a plot for a while before I start writing. Sometimes I'll even write a few notes! But just because i day dream doesn't mean i remember anything lol Like I said, i sometimes write notes, but most of the time i don't, and so after day dreaming all the perfect little scenes, i forget them ^^; oh well

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles? It's usually after I finish writing the fic. I usually forget about needing a title until i post it onto ao3 lol Unless it's something I've already planned (like idk a fic based on a song), I usually have no clue on how to title it. Most of the time,the title references something that happens in the fic. My titles are very bad and i wish i was better about them lol

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of? I like to think I do dialogue well enough. I usually go back to my obey me fics, and I think I wrote their dialogue well enough. I think it was pretty in character, and maybe even a little comedic. I think I'm also kinda good at writing inner dialogues as well, and writing them in-character of how they talk and think (ex: writing Damien from monster prom's dialogue with too many commas and extremely long because that's how he talks in-game)

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft? I can't remember if I've ever talked about this, but I never make more than one draft. I always edit while I write, whether it be working on once sentence until its perfect or going back to fix mistakes I find. It's probably why my fics are riddled with errors lmao Even when I dislike the draft, I just completely get rid of it and start over. idk if that counts as a second draft or not, but its rare for me to do that. I've always got by in school on first drafts and rarely editing my things, so it's just something i've gotten used to doing lol Probably not the best practice of editing a fic, but oh well

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten? Ough....idk actually lol I don't think I've really recieved compliments People have said that they liked how I wrote characters interacting with each other (Satan & Asmo, Belphie & Lucifer), so I'd have to go with that. I'll have to look through past comments though, but those are the ones that come to mind. Which is good, because i love writing characters interacting with one another <3