#because i have a draft but I won't have as much time for the rewrite as i'd like (sadness)

[tracybirds]

I know I said this yesterday but it's beginning to feel like Christmas for real with my Sydney family having arrived! I was SO happy to see them last night and we're hanging out all day today and I haven't seen them since before covid so this is the most special thing!! Thank you to @gumnut-logic for reading through the first part of it, although I must admit to running wild this morning with the last part so any weirdness there you can blame squarely on me haha <3

[Day 1] | [Day 2] | [Day 3 - you are here]

Five Days Where Christmas Didn't Seem To Go As Planned

Day Three

Gordon shoved Alan’s shoulder roughly as he walked past, causing Alan to yelp as he overbalanced, nearly falling out of the chair.

“Gordon, play nicely,” said Virgil, frowning.

Typically, Gordon ignored him, tapping his brother’s cheek.

Alan groaned. It had been a long night, called out in the early evening only to return home as the sun peeked over the horizon once more.

“It’s comfy here,” he muttered, turning to nestle his cheek into the curved edge of the chair.

“Yeah, sure bud,” said Gordon, rolling his eyes. “Come on, let’s go Al, those showers have our names on ‘em.”

Virgil yawned.

“I can carry you if you like,” he offered, perfectly earnest.

Alan’s eyes flew open. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” he grumbled. “Kayo laughed at me for a week the last time, don’t you dare pick me up.”

He dragged himself across the cockpit, staring blankly into thin air in a daze. Preoccupied with the thought of a hot shower and a morning nap with the sea breeze flowing through with windows, he hardly noticed the figure waiting for them impatiently as the hydraulic lift lowered them into the hangar.

“Scott?” asked Virgil, and Alan snapped back to attention. He’d expected Scott to vanish long before Two made it back to Tracy Island, with no issues that arose during the mission and debrief scheduled for later that day.

Freshly focused, Alan could tell that something wasn’t right, enough that Scott had waited for them and was now speaking urgently to them all. Alan blinked, trying to shape the sounds into words, and it was only when he yawned widely and his ear popped that things fell into place.

“I just needed to head you off before you head upstairs,” said Scott, looking mildly disgusted. “I got out of the elevator and had to come straight back down, it was only luck that she didn’t spot me.”

“Well, we’re all experts in hiding from Grandma and her baking now,” said Gordon, grinning. “Hey Virg, let’s go crash in Brains’ rooms, he’s been wanting to marathon those old school scifi-horrors.” He wriggled his fingers at Virgil. “Oooh, I’m a space alien here to take over your mind. Go forth, do my laundry for a week.”

“He’ll uninvite you if you’re going to be annoying about it,” said Virgil, with a long-suffering sigh. “Thanks for the warning, Scott. We’ll stay low for a few hours.”

Alan, meanwhile, was thinking hard.

He swayed a little, fighting the temptation to close his eyes, searching every scrap of memory, because something about what Scott was describing sounded uncomfortably close to home.

“Grandma’s been baking?”

Scott and Virgil exchanged a glance.

“Keep up, Al,” said Gordon impatiently.

Only Alan had one piece of information that his brothers didn’t.

When the siren had gone off and they’d gathered in the living room, Alan had been baking cookies for Christmas. He’d meant for it to be a surprise.

And he’d turned the oven off, he was sure of it, even through a distorted haze of exhaustion, he could remember the temperature dial spinning under his fingers before he raced upstairs, but maybe it hadn’t gone all the way and even as they’d flown out, his cookies were slowly starting to brown, then blacken into a crisp.

He could have burnt the house down.

He sat down suddenly, right there on the floor.

“Alan!” cried three voices, and he batted them away.

“You’ve gone white as a sheet,” said Virgil, frowning as he crouched next to him. He reached out a hand, feeling for his forehead and Alan rolled his eyes.

“Get off me, I’m just tired,” he said, feeling slightly sick. He couldn’t let them find out, he needed to get out of here.

“Look, Grandma won’t ambush me like this, she’ll just want me in bed. Which is where I want to be too, so if you guys want to hide away instead, be my guest.”

He wasn’t even lying, and he rubbed at the grit forming in his eyes, allowing a yawn to take over his entire body.

“I’ll take you,” said Scott reluctantly, and Alan felt a twinge of irritation twitching below his eye.

“You don’t need to escort me,” he snapped, getting back to his feet. “I can manage it.”

He scowled at each of them, putting as much fierceness into the glare as he could.

For a second, he thought Scott and Virgil would continue to argue, but Gordon leapt in before they had the chance.

“You guys promised you’d treat him like an adult when he’s wearing the uniform,” he reminded them. “Are either of you going to start volunteering to be supervised in the shower and tucked in tight? I’ll do it, I don’t care.”

 Alan shot Gordon a grateful look.

“I’m going to bed then,” said Alan, and he spun on his heel and walked slowly and calmly towards the elevator door.

That is to say, he bolted.

When the doors next opened, Alan found Scott hadn’t been kidding about the smell, the smoke still evident despite the air being cleared.

He ran down the steps two at a time, holding his breath as he skidded into the kitchen.

Kayo looked up from the magazine she’d been reading and put it aside.

“So,” she said. “These are yours. I’m assuming they’re not chocolate.”

She swung around a plate of dark brown cookies, burnt black where the butter had melted onto the tray while baking.

Alan collapsed onto the barstool next to her.

“Is it bad?”

Kayo shrugged. “They’re just burnt. Nothing major.” She grinned, her eyes sharp and mischievous. “I saw Scott making his escape earlier. Did he come down to warn you all away?”

Alan could only nod miserably.

“Do you think it’s genetic?” he asked. “I just wanted to do something nice.”

“The only thing you did wrong was not pull the tray from the oven when you turned it off,” Kayo said cheerfully. She chose one of the cookies and neatly broke it in half. “See? They’re not burnt burnt, they’re just a tad overdone. I spotted them when Grandma was preheating the oven earlier and rescued them for you.”

Alan lifted his head, hope stirring in his chest. “So, the smoke?”

“Oh, that was all Grandma.” She bit into the end of the cookie and pulled a face. “These aren’t that great either, if I’m being honest.”

“Well, thanks,” said Alan, feeling stung. He yawned. “I suppose we should just chuck them then.”

“We can probably save them for something,” said Kayo. “Make them into ornaments or something.”

She jostled his shoulder. “What’s up though, Al? You didn’t come racing up here because of bad biscuits.”

“I kinda did,” said Alan. “I dunno, I thought maybe a fire had started. Like if something went wrong here, it’d be all my fault.” He yawned again. “I guess that seems silly.”

Kayo slung an arm around him, pulling him into a hug.

“We can handle your mistakes, Alan. Best part of being one of the youngest is everyone else has already made them and they’ll help you out. It’s not all on you.”

“Does that mean the others have all nearly burnt the house down?”

She grinned down at him. “Oh, the stories I could tell if I weren’t sworn to secrecy.”

Alan grinned back, a spark of mischief shaking off the bleariness momentarily. “I can keep a secret. Was it Virgil? John?”

“You’re getting nothing out of me,” said Kayo with a laugh. “Go to bed, Alan. We’ll fix these when you can sit in that chair without falling onto your face.”

He slipped down from the stool and stumbled, the sway of exhaustion rushing up to meet him once more.

“I might need a little help,” he admitted. “Promise you won’t tell Scott?”

Kayo mimed locking her lips and smiled at him, fond and warm.

“I promise.”

[changbunnies]

Reverie, (18+)

♡ Pairing: Prince!Hyujin x Lord's Daughter!Reader

♡ Genre: royal au, historical au, love at first sight, fairy tale elements, angst, fluff, eventual smut

♡ Word Count: 18.9k

♡ Summary: Staring out from your window everyday where you live confined, Hyunjin sees you- melancholic, lonely, beautiful; love at first sight. He wants to know you, to take you away from where you remain, doomed to be solitary. Spending your every moment daydreaming about the perfect life, meeting Hyunjin sparks a hope that you'd long since given up on- that your reverie can become your reality.

♡ Warnings: reader has an evil step-mother and step-sisters, involuntary confinement, themes of loneliness, isolation, and emotional + verbal abuse, reader is very touch starved and has low self-esteem from her mistreatment, past + referenced parental death (none are described) as well as having a parent who is sick, outdated marriage traditions, chan is featured and goes by chris, incredibly unrealistic because of the fairy tale romance inspo lol but it's a fun read, i hope!

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): virgin reader + virgin hyunjin, petnames (darling), loss of virginity, nipple play, oral (f + m rec), unprotected piv, creampie

♡ Notes: hey yall sorry its been a over month since my last post :') i was going thru a lot in my personal life that made it hard to write, as well as i HATED my first draft of this fic so i decided to entirely rewrite it gfsdhsdg but it's finally here after a lot of grief !! I honestly still don't like it all that much but I didn't want it to sit in my drafts any longer or rewrite for a third time so :') anyways i took a inspo for this one from rapunzel and cinderella, as well as a bit from sweeney todd (if you’ve seen the movie pls tell me you see the vision of hyunjin as jamie campbell bower’s character…) + a smidge of romeo and juliet.

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Sighing as he watches the scenery slowly pass him by through the carriage window, a deep frown adorns Hyunjin's face. He's no stranger to traveling, and normally he quite enjoys the break from the typical royal monotony, but this time around he can't bring himself to enjoy the sights that pass him by. The abundant flower fields, the surrounding lush forest on the edges, the perfectly blue sky.. none of them prevent the melancholy from setting in; because waiting for him at today's destination, in a manor just a fair few miles outside the castle city's walls, is yet another girl hoping to be his bride.

He's tired, to put it plainly; tired of meeting girl after girl who cares not for who he is as a person, but what his lineage offers them- and he expects today to go no differently. Why would he after the countless disappointments he's faced, after the myriad of times he's expected a night to end badly, and been proved right? And perhaps it is unfair of him to judge how the afternoon will go well before he's even met her, but his expectations have long since been set.

Hyunjin's royal attendant, who accompanies him to all his meetings and currently sits beside him within the carriage, does his best not to show how the prince's constant sighing grates on his nerves. Royal attendants should always be calm and patient in the face of frustration, and that is what Christopher strives to be; so he speaks to the prince as kindly as his dwindling patience will allow him. "Must you look so miserable? I imagine the girls won't take kindly to the prince looking at them with such disdain."

"Girls? Plural?" Hyunjin asks, groaning audibly when his attendant nods. Great. As if a blind setup with just one girl wasn't enough.. Still, he doesn't need to be reminded to mind his manners. He'll hold himself to the utmost royal standard when the time comes, as he always does- and he tells Chris as such. "I certainly hope so," Christopher responds with practiced ease, "There aren't many demoiselles left to meet, and your father will be disappointed if we return with more outright denials."

"I'm aware," Hyunjin replies simply, frustration still clear in his voice, though he tries his best to temper it. He knows his attendant is not wrong, and is simply trying to look out for him while also keeping Hyunjin's royal duty in mind. It's imperative that Hyunjin marry before his father's illness progresses to the point that he must concede the throne, and it's Christopher's job to ensure that Hyunjin doesn't forget that.

But still.. despite the circumstances begging for urgency, this is not a matter that Hyunjin is willing to bend on. He values true love, romance, genuine connection above all else; and so when he marries, he'll do it for real love, and real love only- even if it means the throne passes him by and goes instead to his uncle. Hyunjin doesn't understand, nor does he care, why the law requires him to marry to take the throne. He imagines it's related to ensuring that the noble line continues- something he ultimately pays no mind to and refuses to take seriously, though he knows he should.

Hyunjin is considered by most of the royal family to be stubborn by nature, a trait his father has told him countless times he gets from his late mother, but Hyunjin himself likes to believe he is reasonable. While he's not entirely malleable, he does act with the country's best interest in heart, and he swallows down all frustration and gracefully does whatever he feels he must in favor of doing what is best for the citizens.

It just so happens that marriage is the one thing on which he will not compromise; and stubborn or not, Hyunjin thinks he should be allowed this one thing. All he wants is genuine love with someone who places the same amount of value in that love as he does, and he never expected that such a wish would be too much to ask for. But either way, all he can do for now is straighten his posture, put on his best smile, and hope that against his expectations, today will bring him the love he’s been searching for.

Similarly, you too stare from your window; though not from a horse-drawn carriage, but from where your bedroom lies on the second floor of your late father's manor. According to your step-mother, a very important suitor is coming to meet your step-sisters today, and she has taken every necessary precaution in ensuring you would be out of the way for the evening. You were used to such treatment by now, and being locked away in your room and ignored for hours on end was no longer something that brought you the intense grief it once had.

Sad to say, it'd become a simple fact of life since your father passed; you were used to the loneliness and the sadness and the grief of having a family that did not love you as you loved them. Truly, you loved your step-mother and sisters, and back then you never would've guessed they secretly abhorred your existence. But your father passed, and with his passing came the truth- that she never loved your father, or you- just what he had; and she was raising her daughters to be just the same.

Against his wife's knowledge or wishes however, your father's will had stipulations she must follow if she wanted to inherit his estate- the most important of which being that she care for you, his precious, only biological daughter, as one of her own until the day you are wed and depart from the manor to be with your new family. Thanks to this clause, your step-mother provides for you; and though it is only the bare minimum amount necessary, it could certainly be worse. You still have your childhood bedroom, all your precious belongings, 3 hot meals a day, and the maids who helped your father raise you still checking in on you.

The maids are forbidden from interacting with you more than is necessary, as your step-mother makes it her mission to make you as miserable as possible within the limitations your father's will provides, but they do what they can. The small talk they provide while filling your bath with hot water, and the snuck in messages written on scraps of paper hidden beneath your dinner tray are often the highlights of your day. You are lonely, but not alone, and that keeps you going on the particularly hard days.

Days like today, where the padlock your step-mother installed outside your bedroom door is ordered to remain locked no matter what, ensuring that you are unable to leave and ruin her evening, or her plans. She intends to find her daughters wealthy, prestigious husbands- men that cannot be given the chance to look upon you, lest they decide they like you more than her biological daughters.

You wouldn't misbehave regardless of whether or not the lock was in place. You're so used to being locked away in your room that even were the lock to no longer exist, you don't think you'd even notice; because you wouldn't ever try to leave in the first place. And compounding on that, you don't think yourself particularly special or beautiful enough to "threaten" your sister's marriage prospects; all you'd do is needlessly subject yourself to reminders that you're lesser than when they inevitably gloss over you.

You simply.. exist. But in your step-mother's eyes, that's your greatest sin. She hates you, and your existence alone causes her great grief. The simple fact that you exist prevented her from truly obtaining what she wanted most; your father's wealth hinged on you being taken care of to obtain. And thus, she couldn't just throw you out and leave you to your fate as she originally intended; so she begrudgingly provides for you, the depth of her loathing coming out in passive-aggressive words, meals resentfully delivered, and a locked bedroom door where she can leave you for a time and pretend her greatest wish is true- that you don't exist.

Staring out your window is how you've come to spend most of your days. Daydreaming, listening to birds sing, watching deer graze and rabbits sprint across the fields and between the trees. You reread your books to the point you could recite them with ease, you fantasize about love and companionship and freedom, and you wonder if there will ever come a day where such joy can be yours. You suspect not; when you do marry, it'll likely be to some terrible man your step-mother chooses on the basis that they continue your misery.

But in the sanctity of your bedroom, inside your imagination and idle daydreams, you can pretend that true love and happiness waits for you. Where you are valued and cherished and adored, where you are wanted and craved, where a life without you in it cannot even be imagined, for it would be too painful for your lover to even consider.

Lost in thought as you are, you almost miss it when the carriage your step-mother and sisters are expecting comes into sight. And normally you would pull yourself away from the window, make sure you're out of sight from whomever exits the carriage, lest whoever your step-mother is having over recognize you. But this carriage is so different from the ones that typically arrive at the manor that it makes you curious.

It's fancy- easily the most extravagant and ornate carriage you've ever seen; not that you've seen many, but the point stands. It's clear that whomever your family is meeting today is no ordinary suitor. There’s a crest beholden on the door, one that seems vaguely familiar, and you wish you could place it as it would assuredly be a hint to who is arriving, but the memory of what family it comes from eludes you.

It’s been so long since you’ve been out to the city, or communicated with families your father was close with, that it's hard to recall the family crests you once so easily recognized. But whatever family it belongs to, one thing is clear- they are surely wealthy and prestigious to afford a carriage this grand. No wonder your step-mother wants you out of the way today; if a wealthy suitor somehow chooses you over her real daughters, that would be her worst nightmare. 

You watch with bated breath as a man steps out from the left side of the carriage, a man you can tell from dress alone is some sort of attendant. He works his way around to the right of the carriage to open the door for whoever remains inside- the wealthy suitor being an obvious guess. And really, you should look away and mind your own business lest you risk angering your step-mother, but you can't help yourself. This is the closest thing to fresh entertainment you’ve had (and are going to have), and so you can’t bring yourself to tear your eyes away.

And oh, the man who steps out when the door is opened for him is breathtaking. Even at a distance, he’s positively ethereal- easily the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. And you are certain that, even with your lack of worldly experience, he is utterly without comparison. He’s pretty, impossibly pretty, with long black hair, half of which is tied back by a ribbon, rings adorning his fingers, ornate yet dainty bracelets that seem to perfectly match the necklaces he wears, and beautiful, pure white and dangly earrings that remind you of a teardrop in shape, all of which match his equally embellished doublet.

He looks so very grand, elegant, to the point that you feel absolutely unworthy to even be looking at someone so strikingly gorgeous and well dressed. God, if he chooses one of your step-sisters to marry, someone so clearly wealthy and beautiful and important.. you just know your step-mother will lord it over you as her greatest proof that they are better than you.

The bitter, hurt part of you half wished the man your sisters were meeting today would be boorish and unimpressive, but of course that’s not the case.. And it saddens you, strangely. You like to think yourself above pettiness, and you’d rather experience the world through a lens of kindness despite what you’ve suffered, but seeing someone so utterly perfect going to meet your sisters, and knowing how they will mock you and laugh in your face should he fall for one of them..

Maybe, somewhere deep down, you’re jealous. Jealous, and angry, and hurt, as you’ve always been, but tried not to acknowledge. And it’s not the perceived wealth you’re jealous of, or the possibility of a beautiful husband, but the chance for connection they have that you don’t. That they can meet someone like him and be given the chance to fall in love, while you are forced into isolation and monotony. It isn’t fair, and it never has been, but today of all days is where you feel that injustice most strongly.

You choke on the melancholy, your eyes well with tears that you try to blink away as your hands ball into fists in your lap. You shouldn’t have watched the window today or let your curiosity and boredom get the best of you- all you’ve done is make yourself impossibly sad. You begin to stand from your seat by the window, ready yourself to close the curtains and wallow in your bed for the rest of the evening, when suddenly, you freeze. Your hand unmoving on the curtain, eyes widening with the realization that your sister’s suitor is looking at you. And it's not as simple as a passing glance- no, he is staring at you.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened when he first saw you in the window, at first just passively looking over the manor and taking in the sight as he readied himself to enter, before his eyes fell upon you. And upon seeing you, he became completely and utterly enraptured by your beauty, in a way he’s never experienced with anyone he’s ever met before.

He can’t help but stare, can’t manage to tear his eyes away from your visage even when Chris calls his name. And when you stand to close the curtains, and your eyes travel to him and meet his gaze, his breath catches in his throat, his heart skips a beat before it races, and his face flushes to an impossibly bright pink.

How and why does he have this feeling? How is that you enchant him with just a glance, when others have failed to with much more? You’ve not yet truly met, nor spoken a single word, and yet he feels it firmly- a desire hereto unmatched, that does not follow preconceived notions of what is logical, the kind you would only read about in the great romantic works of playwrights and novelists. A feeling he never expected to be based in truth, but here he is now, feeling it for himself- love at first sight.

And if love at first sight is real and it is true, then he cannot wait to meet you. To learn your name and hear your voice and speak with you until your throats run dry. He’ll devote himself to learning everything about you, to carving your every word and thought into his memory. He wants to learn what it is about your soft, melancholic expression that he finds so entrancing, to discover what it is that causes his heart to stir in ways entirely foreign to him.

“Your Majesty, Your Highness, Prince Hyunjin, Hyunjin-” Christopher tries every way possible to get the prince’s attention, letting out an exasperated sigh when Hyunjin finally turns back to him. He doesn’t even know what caught his attention- when he tried to follow the prince’s gaze, all he was met with was a window with its curtains pulled shut. “My apologies. I just-” Hyunjin starts, taking one last glance at the now empty window before turning back to his attendant. “Nevermind. Let’s just go inside.”

Chris quietly huffs his agreement, quickly offering the manor’s maids who were waiting on them his apologies in Hyunjins stead, as he is used to. He’s accustomed to not understanding what goes on inside the prince’s head, but at least he seems prepared now.. Almost happy, Chris would think if he didn’t know better. Regardless of its origin and whether or not he understands where it came from, he will welcome it- because it really is vital that Hyunjin choose a bride with haste.

The start of the evening goes as predictably as anticipated from that point on- the maids lead them to the great room, offering tea and freshly baked sweets while they wait. Hyunjin politely turns them down while Chris stands a comfortable distance away, there simply to keep an eye on the prince and observe how the arranged meeting proceeds. The lady of the manor enters the room after some time passes, bowing politely and apologizing for the delay before ushering her daughters into the room.

They’re dressed extravagantly, as expected, with expensive jewelry, perfectly laid hair, and tasteful makeup. They introduce themselves politely, though they erupt into quiet giggles afterwards, likely excited that one of them will potentially be chosen to marry the prince. Their mother shoots them a look, and it makes them clear their throats and cease their elated giggling, returning to proper posture with their hands folded in front of them, both smiling at him sweetly. But something’s wrong..

Hyunjin looks between the girls, their mother, and back to the girls, head tilting and brows furrowing in confusion; he doesn’t see the one from the window anywhere.. Shouldn’t she be here? “Isn’t there another?” he asks, and the dame’s eyes widen for a moment, a complex flash of emotions that Hyunjin doesn’t have enough time to fully decipher within them, before she reverts back to her previous calm, inviting demeanor. 

“I believe I wrote in my proposal to the royal family that I have two, and only two, daughters. Perhaps there was a miscommunication between you and your men?” She suggests, and though it’s spoken kindly, Hyunjin gets the distinct impression that she wants to shut down any talk of a third daughter here and now. Christopher too is confused, but he apologizes to the dame, insisting the mistake is his fault, though it certainly isn’t.

The dame accepts the apology and swiftly moves on, though the tension still lingers. Even as she begins to talk at great length about how wonderful her daughters are and how lucky everyone involved would be should Hyunjin choose one of them to be his princess, there’s an edge beneath the kindly spoken words that hint towards how bothered his mistake made her. Her daughters too seem tense when he first questions if there is another, though by the time they are allowed to speak themselves all tension in them seems to melt away, instead focusing on singing their own praises and expressing their desire to see the royal castle.

It’s so jarring, tense, awkward, that it completely prevents Hyunjin from being able to focus on a single word the girls say. Ordinarily, he would not bat an eye at someone correcting a mistake in his speech or for having come to an incorrect conclusion, as it is imperative that a prince goes about his dealings with as correct as information as possible. But that being said, the dame’s reaction rubs him the wrong way, especially when paired with the nervous flash in her daughter’s eyes as their bodies tensed..

If he was simply mistaken, it would be natural and correct for her to clear up any misgivings he has about her family and estate kindly- there’d be no reason to address him with such underlying hostility or be on the defensive, as if he’d brought up a point that needs to be fiercely fought against. The emotion that flickered in their eyes, the terse words filled with faux-niceties, the shift in body language.. They suggest to Hyunjin only one thing- that a third daughter is in fact here; and for some strange reason, the lady of the house doesn’t want him to meet her.

But why would that be? The ideas that cross his mind make him woefully unable to focus on anything spoken to him. Maybe you’re already promised to someone else, maybe you’ve been married before and are now widowed, living in your old family home while stricken with grief.. Maybe you’re a cousin simply having a visit that by pure chance coincides with the prince arriving too, or maybe he imagined you somehow. But could that really be? You were so real, that doesn’t seem possible..

“But what do you think? .. Prince Hyunjin..?” One of the girls asks, and when he doesn’t reply, Chris clears his throat and steps forward to subtly nudge the prince, breaking him from his thoughts. “Allow me to apologize. The prince is.. tired these days. He’s got a lot on his plate, as I’m sure you understand,” Chris says, shooting Hyunjin a look that begs him to take the lead and finish cleaning the mess he’s made.

“Yes, I’m sorry. Uhm- perhaps you could allow me a small break? And then I promise you’ll both have my undivided attention,” Hyunjin suggests, being sure to offer them his most charismatic smile in the hopes they’ll look past how inattentive he’s been thus far. They agree easily, giggling and lightly blushing, assuring him a break is good for everyone (which he knows isn’t true, but it’s polite of them, at least.)

This time, he accepts the tea when it’s offered to him, chugging it down in a display that goes completely against the manners that have been drilled into him. He asks to be led to the nearest restroom, splashes water on his face and wills himself to focus on the task at hand. And though it comes with great difficulty, he forces himself to pay strict attention to every word spoken to him from that point onward, though your image continues to exist in the back of his mind the entire time.

Hyunjin steps out of the manor with a sigh, finding himself entirely drained after his meeting with the two sisters and their incredibly duplicitous mother. Originally, he’d planned to leave before nightfall, but they somehow managed to rope him into having dinner with them, and to say it was exhausting would be an understatement. Now he stands in the light of the moon, deep frown returning as he waits for preparations to leave to be made- because he absolutely refuses to stay here until morning.

As expected, once he broke himself out of his fog and started paying attention to what they were saying, they were incredibly vain and equally daft, and the more he spoke to them, the clearer it became that they weren’t fit to someday sit on a throne. It was extremely obvious that they were vying for increased fortune and pride- and at the behest of their mother specifically. To old herself to marry into the royal family, it seemed she was content to allow her daughters to do the social climbing on her behalf.

Not that her daughter’s are completely ignorant of this plot- he’s sure they’re well aware of the benefits if one of them becomes a princess, and are well instructed and prepped on how best to appeal themselves to a noble’s proclivities. Unfortunately for them, Hyunjin is unlike most nobles, and he takes the task of one day rearing his country very seriously- much too seriously to marry someone selfish, and without grace or tact, nor whom he fails to have a genuine connection with. Beauty alone won’t be enough to win him over.

Saying that however.. He can’t seem to stop thinking about the strikingly gorgeous girl he saw from the window. He feels himself a hypocrite, saying it takes more than good looks to win his heart, and yet still finding himself hung up on the mysterious beauty in the window. He looks up to that window, and sees nothing- the curtains are drawn, the room pitch dark, and there’s a part of him that considers the dame’s words true. There is no third girl, and what he saw was perhaps a phantom, a trick of the light, a mysterious cousin, or..

Well, he doesn’t know what, but he can’t allow himself to continue to linger on a girl that may not even be real, or obtainable if she does exist. "What's going on with you tonight? You never have a good time at these things, but you've been more off than is.. typical of you," Chris suddenly speaks up after Hyunjin sighs once more, and the prince frowns as he looks to his attendant.

A lot weighs on his mind; more than he feels he can even begin to explain. The way Hyunjin's thoughts swim in his head like a whirlpool- can he even begin to express himself in a way that is coherent and understandable to his most trusted attendant? Regardless, he has to start somewhere, and so he tries. “I’m afraid that I’ll never find what I’m looking for. Those girls were.. vapid to say the least. I’ve no interest in marrying a social climber, but.. I am beginning to think that perhaps I have no choice.” 

Chris' expression softens as he offers Hyunjin a gentle, reassuring pat on the shoulder. There is little he can do to make the prince feel better about his circumstance, he knows; he often has to remind Hyunjin to keep his royal duty in mind, and though it doesn't always show, he does feel bad that the prince is forced into such a situation.

It can't be easy bearing such a burden, and Chris certainly doesn't envy the struggle to find a bride under such constraints, or the responsibilities that will come to Hyunjin once he is wed. “Well, don’t fret too hard about that just yet. We still have a few more interested parties we’ve yet to meet. And maybe the universe wants to show you the wrong first, so that when you meet who is right.. you’ll know,” Chris says earnestly, trying his best to show the prince support.

"Mm, maybe," Hyunjin mumbles, desperately hoping his attendant is right. He hoped you would be that right person, but if fate deems it right to show him heartache and to put him through trials before happiness can come to him then he will just have to accept that. Chris frowns, but knows there is not much else he can offer to ease the prince's worries; so he instead turns his attention to the carriage to check on the progress for departure.

 “Looks like we’re ready to depart,” Chris says after the coachman finishes adorning the carriage with lanterns suitable for the night ride back to the castle, "Maybe you'll feel better after some rest. And if you'd like, we can talk some more about this tomorrow." Hyunjin simply nods, following his attendant to the carriage with an immense weight still on his shoulders.

Despite what he logically knows, he can't shake his sadness over the fact that his burden wasn't lifted this evening, the irrational sorrow that comes from his hopes being dashed- that the beautiful girl he saw in the window could not be met.. But he tries to think that maybe it’s for the best that there wasn’t a third daughter for him to meet after all. Given the influence of their mother, she’d likely have been just as bad as her sisters, and that would’ve surely broken his heart beyond the ache he feels now. 

Chris approaches the left-side door first, opening it swiftly and then standing to the side, motioning for Hyunjin to enter first, as is customary. Hyunjin places a hand on the doorframe and a foot on the iron step, ready to step inside in the carriage, but takes one last glance at the manor before he does. And there, a glimmer of hope- the image of you, just barely there peeking through the curtains, the faint light of a candle flickering in your hand.

Though a considerable distance away, he can see your eyes widen when you realize he sees you yet again, gasping and quickly moving away from the window, the light of your candle disappearing with your image. “She’s there!” Hyunjin exclaims, instantly separating himself from the carriage, and taking an unconscious step back towards the manor. “Who’s there?” Chris questions as he follows Hyunjin’s gaze to the window, confused to, again, find absolutely no one and nothing of note.

"I.. don't know who exactly, but she was there, I saw her," Hyunjin continues, and while Chris is still utterly baffled, he does see that the curtains are slightly swaying despite the window being closed- meaning someone was there, and caused them to shift by either touching them, or walking past them. He looks back to Chris, sees the hesitant, puzzled expression, and tries to explain himself in the briefest, but most concise way possible.

“I saw her in the window when we first arrived too! I asked the dame about her, thinking she may have had another daughter, but you heard how she reacted- she brushed me off so coldly.” "Well.. maybe she was telling the truth? It's possible she's simply a maid," Chris suggests, but Hyunjin quickly shakes his head. "She isn't. I assure you, after seeing their maids I wouldn't confuse her for one.. She's entirely unlike any of them."

"Okay.. So she's not a maid. But there could still be a reasonable explanation for everything," Chris says, and oh no, he can instantly tell where Hyunjin's mind is going. "Exactly! So I'm going to meet her, and find out what that reason is," Hyunjin says, wasting no time in walking back up to the manor. “What? How exactly do you plan on doing that when the dame clearly didn’t want you to meet her?” Chris quietly exclaims as he follows Hyunjin towards the direction of your window.

“There’s a trellis near her window, and I intend to climb it,” Hyunjin smiles, as if it’s a perfectly reasonable plan and not at all insane for him to do. “Go back to the carriage, and instruct the coachman to drive it down the road and out of sight. I don’t want the ladies of the house to know I’m still here if they happen to look out from their windows,” Hyunjin instructs, and again, Chris is absolutely floored by the prince. “Your Highness, you- you can’t be serious,” he quietly exclaims again, though he can tell Hyunjin is entirely serious about all of this.

"Just do this for me, please? I need to do this- for my peace of mind if nothing else," Hyunjin tells him, and though Chris still doesn't understand why the prince is so adamant about meeting you, he can see the sincerity and the drive in his eyes, and so he concedes. “Fine, just.. try to be discreet and don’t take too long, okay? And don’t make her uncomfortable!” Chris warns and Hyunjin thanks his attendant warmly before turning his attention back to your window.

He approaches the manor carefully, tiptoeing up to the trellis that will act as his ladder to your window. He places a foot into one of the slots and carefully adds his weight, making sure it’ll hold before he begins to climb it in earnest. He’s never done anything like this, but he knows he’d regret it if he didn’t at least try to meet the woman who so easily captured his heart with just a glance, while desperately, and maybe vainly, hoping he has a chance with you.

Hyunjin knocks softly on the window once he reaches it, doing his best to make it loud enough for you to hear, but not so loud that he would alarm anyone who may be nearby. Though your room is dark, the moon offers just enough illumination through the curtains that he can make you out. And while unlit, you are still holding the candle in one hand, while the other is nervously placed over your heart.

You can't believe this happening- the devastatingly handsome man meant to be wooed by one of your sisters saw you again, and is now at your window? Your heart is racing out of control, you don't know what to do or what to think seeing him there, waiting for you to approach the window, approach him.

You didn't even expect to see him again when you stepped to your window and peeked out; you simply saw lantern light from your window whilst preparing for bed, and it piqued your interest. You wanted to know what was going on, of course you did, so you looked, fully expecting the answer to be guards doing an uncharacteristically late sweep of the grounds, or maids sneaking out to meet the secret lovers you knew them to have.

But what you saw instead was the beautiful man from earlier in the process of stepping inside his grand carriage- and as if sensing you were watching, he turned to the manor, his eyes instantly falling on you. Just as you had this evening, you gasped and quickly shuffled away from the window, blowing out your candle as your heart pounded in your chest. Several seconds passed, and with trembling steps, you stepped back to the window and took one more cautious glance outside, only to see him approaching the manor, clearly intending to seek you out.

You gasped again, moving away from the window once more, mind reeling and pulse quickening. And now he’s here, having clearly climbed the trellis up to your window, hope in his eyes as he looks at you and waits. Swallowing, you carefully set the candle down on your nearby nightstand before you take cautious steps back towards the window, opening it ever so slightly. “May I come in?” he asks quietly, likely recognizing that speaking at full volume would be unwise, “I wish to speak with you.”

His voice is as silky and pretty as you imagined, and it positively jolts you. Everything about him seems impossibly perfect- part of you thinks that you've must've already fallen asleep, that you're tucked in bed and having a vivid dream based on the events of the day. But no, you've never dreamed as vividly as this, and you'd certainly remember if you'd crawled into bed after checking the lantern light from the window.

And that leaves you with a dilemma; the man, as gorgeous as he is, is still a stranger- and certainly you can't just let a strange man enter your room through your window.. That goes against everything your father ever taught you about safety. So you hesitate, observing him carefully for a moment.

And maybe it's just the fact that he's beautiful, or your yearning for connection that makes you want to trust him, even if it makes no logical sense to do so. You can't help but think he looks genuine and sincere, and well.. you can't ignore how desperately you desire to talk to someone, anyone, for more than the brief amount you're allowed to with your maids. Still, even if you crave connection with someone, you should be careful who you speak to shouldn't you?

He notices the hesitancy, recognizes what kind of situation he's imposing on you, and so he speaks up again, "Or I can stay here and we just talk through the window? If that's okay with you." Hyunjin knows he's being unreasonable and getting way too ahead of himself in his desire to speak with you, and it's crucial that he does his utmost to show you that he has no intention of making you uncomfortable.

Really, you should turn him down; but logic has left you, and truth be told you don't entirely trust that he can stand at the top of the trellis and support his own weight for much longer. So, you open your window further, granting him permission to step inside in your bedroom. He crawls in through your window as quietly as he can manage, smiling at you when he's fully inside. His smile is timid, and a bit awkward- this is easily the most nervous he’s ever felt, and he knows he’s going about meeting you completely backwards, but what other choice did he have? 

Your mother, aunt, or whoever she is to you- he doubts she would’ve allowed him the chance to meet you. Her words and body language were much too passive aggressive to lead him to believe she’d meet the request to speak with you kindly, nor does he think she'd take kindly to being insinuated a liar. Additionally, it was highly unlikely that she’d willingly and truthfully divulge information about you or answer his questions. And so it led him to this- his fateful first meeting with the girl of his dreams happening within her moonlit bedroom.

He's completely out of his depth and unsure of himself or anything he's doing, but he holds out his palm, offering for you to place your hand in his. You blink, look up and down between his hand and his patient expression, and then you remember- oh, right, proper introductions. The setting is unorthodox, but it seems he still has it in mind to be polite and correct; as much as is possible, anyways.

You hesitate a moment, but ultimately place your hand in his, and he bows to you, lifting your hand to his mouth and placing a chaste kiss just above the knuckle. It's a simple, proper greeting, one that most people your age are entirely accustomed to, but it's been so long since you experienced it that it makes your skin erupt in goosebumps and heart thump erratically in your chest.

And there's the fact that he's jaw droppingly gorgeous- that certainly doesn't help.

You do your best to collect yourself when he straightens back up and looks at you once more. "I'm Hyunjin," he tells you in case you don't know, voice still as soft as it was at your window, a near whisper, "would you tell me your name, please?" This whole thing is entirely out of order and backwards, but you politely curtsey after offering him your name, though it feels silly to do so in your night chemise. And something about the way he looks at you makes your face burn hotter than it ever has.

All he’s heard is you speak your name, but he already considers your voice to be just as pretty as you are- he hopes he’ll get to hear it far beyond this single night. "If I may, I want to ask.. Do you know who I am? Or why I came here today?" He asks, looking directly into your eyes as he awaits your answer. You swallow, the eye contact making your heart skip a beat and pulse climb, but you steady yourself the best you can to answer. "You're.. a suitor who came to meet my sisters. But I didn't know your name until you told me it." 

Hyunjin's eyes flicker with unfamiliar emotion as he takes in your answer- he knew it! You're no ordinary girl, nor a housemaid with an unusually lavish room. And what strikes him, apart from the confirmation that you're related to the girls he met downstairs, is what you said about him. You didn't know his name, don't know who he is apart from a potential suitor to your sisters.

He still doesn't understand why you weren't allowed to meet him, but it gives him hope- that if you are unwed, your love can be genuine. You won't marry him for title or wealth or power, but for who he is as a person. In the 4 corners of your bedroom, his name holds no weight, and that's all he's ever wanted.

But he should ask now, before he gets too ahead of himself and breaks his own heart, or lets a leap in logic carry him far beyond where rationality can reach him- ask if you are already promised to another. "Are you betrothed?" Hyunjin asks, and you quickly shake your head, surprised by the way he smiles in a mix of joy and relief to know you are unwed. Is that.. a good thing?

You're not even sure why you shook your head so vehemently when he first asked, as if you wanted there to be no mistake. Why would it matter to him if you are going to be married to someone or not? But something about his smile tells you it matters to him very much, though it is impossible for you to fathom why that could be. "Why do you ask..?" you question hesitantly, unsure of what you even hope to hear in response.

"Since I first saw you in the window, I've wanted to know you," he tells you earnestly, and your heart once again skips a beat. You knew he saw you, and you knew that were he perceptive enough to tell you aren't a maid he'd likely have questions about you or lingering curiosity. But it still surprises you that he shows this much interest- that it's more to him than just a passing question he'd be content to forget about in a day's time.

“Why didn’t you ask my mother then?” you ask him, though you suspect you know the answer. It’s not that he’s trying to solve a mystery or investigate why a seemingly innocuous girl is tucked away out of sight from visitors- and while you’re sure he’d welcome the answers to such questions, it’s more than that. For some strange reason, it’s just you- you as a person that he wants to know.

And you don’t know what to do with that. Your existence is so often ignored and trivialized, you can’t begin to understand why a glance of you in the window is enough to drive him to seek you out. You can’t understand what it is about you that is worth this, worth the curiosity and the climb to your window. Why would anyone want to speak to you so badly? You’re not special enough to warrant this.

“I did ask, and I didn’t like the answer,” Hyunjin says, and you blink in surprise. You can easily imagine that your step-mother would dismiss your existence when asked about you, or say something along the lines of “she doesn’t matter,” or “don’t worry about her, she’s nobody,”- so it’s not that that surprises you. What surprises you is that he heard an answer and not only didn’t accept it, but said he didn’t like it. Why?

Try as you might, you can't understand his motivations. Even if he could tell there was more that your step-mother wasn't telling him, why does he care so much about who you are? All visitors before Hyunjin who have stolen a glance at you either never asked about you, or have accepted her answers at face value, and it made sense that they did- because what reason did they have to push for the truth, or meet you regardless of her wishes?

“I’m interested in you, and I didn’t believe what I was told. I want to know you,” he continues, reiterates his sentiment, and you feel utterly frozen. All you can manage to do is blink up at him, your breath and words caught in your throat. And you realize your hand still rests in his, and you’re sure he can feel the way it trembles- from confusion, from nerves, from the simple act of even being held by someone for the first time since you were a child. But he doesn’t let go, and you don’t take it away- because he’s interested in you, and you want to know what that means, want to cling to the possibility that you can have the companionship that has eluded you for years.

“But.. why?” you finally ask, mind reeling from the possibilities. Regardless of what your step-mother may have told him, there’s one thing that she’s never wrong about- that you’re nobody, nothing, that your existence is a hindrance and you’re better off shoved aside where you can’t impose on her. You used to challenge that thought, but you’ve long since lost the will to fight against it, often finding yourself believing it to be true. And since you’re not special, or important, or particularly pretty, why is he so interested in you? You just don’t get it. 

"If you'll forgive me for being forward.. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. And I know it's presumptuous of me, and perhaps shallow, to want to meet you so badly for that alone but.. I couldn't let the image of you go. I had to take the chance to find out who you are," Hyunjin spills his thoughts freely, making his desires and motivations clear.

And just as before, it leaves you completely stunned. What he's saying.. that can't be right. You? The most beautiful he's ever seen? That feels like something you should be saying to him- Hyunjin is easily the most radiant and ethereal person you've ever seen, but he's saying all this about you?

You're rendered speechless, face burning impossibly hot as the words repeat themself in your mind on a loop. "I've got to go," he continues, slowly letting go of your hand as he prepares to return to the window, "but I want- I hope you’ll allow me to see you again." I hope you'll give me a chance to win your heart, he wants to add, but he's already been much more forward than he'd ever imagined himself to be, and he doesn't want to jeopardize anything that might be budding.

He steps back to the window and you follow, watching as he readies himself to climb back down the trellis he used to reach you. "We'll meet again?" he asks after settling his weight on the trellis, looking back at you with hopeful eyes. It feels foolish, and a bit naive to wish so hard that you'll desire to see him again; all he can do now is hope the impression he made is enough to allow you defy your sense of logic, just as you've done to him simply by looking his way.

You smile softly, the first smile you've shown him, the first you've done in God knows how long- and you nod as you promise him you will. You don't know how it will work or where it will lead, if anywhere, but you think you'd regret it if you didn't at least try. You miss companionship, you miss having someone to talk to, you miss smiling and the feeling of comfort and joy that comes from being close with someone who understands and knows you. You don't want to let this opportunity to have someone in your life slip you by.

Hyunjin's heart jumped when you smiled at him, and he returned the smile brightly as he said his goodbyes, heart still thumping and smile still plastered on his face as he descended the trellis. He looks back to the window, waving to you when he sees you watching from between the curtains, a giddy feeling building in his stomach when you wave back. Following the dirt road away from the manor, he meets back up with Chris at the carriage, happily relaying everything that happened to him on their way back to the castle.

You retired to your bed once Hyunjin was out of sight, but found it hard to sleep following your interactions. Curled up under the blankets, eyes closed and heavy, ready to sleep, but mind racing and replaying the night's events. There's a chance that this is a mistake, but you don't think you'll regret having taken the chance- because the hope and joy you feel now is the most delightful feeling you've experienced since you were a girl, and that feeling alone is worth whatever trouble it may bring your way.

It's hard to explain in words the emotions that come from having Hyunjin close to you. From having just a few short months ago gone from spending your nights restless from loneliness, to now lying awake in bed wondering if tonight will be one of the nights you hear his tap on your window. Going from hardly ever speaking a word, to now talking so much that your throat aches. To never feeling the warmth of another, to lingering touches and reluctant parting of held hands heating your skin.

You suppose what you can say is that it feels like the hole in your heart is being mended; a void wrenched open by loss and sadness slowly repaired with each clandestine meeting you share. It's bittersweet, sometimes; your melancholy was easier to ignore when you didn't have someone to share your thoughts and feelings with. It’s strange, how gaining what you were missing makes the bad in your life hurt much worse. It awakens a new fear within you- that one day, Hyunjin will tire of you, and you'll be alone once more.

As if knowing your fears, irrational or not, Hyunjin makes it no secret how he feels about you, or what he hopes the two of you may become. Besides, the very reason he first came to the manor was to answer a marriage proposal- so of course he makes it clear how much he likes you. And though you're aware of his feelings, you don't feel any sort of pressure or expectation from him, nor does he ever make you uncomfortable. You get the distinct impression that should you ever reject him, Hyunjin would move on gracefully, even if it weighed heavily on his heart.

All that being said, he hasn't blatantly asked you to be his bride yet, though it is obvious he wishes to. And putting aside what is rational, proper, or logical, you don't think you'd turn him down were he to ask you now. Hyunjin has become the highlight of your days, the hope that keeps you going when loneliness and sadness acutely strike you. He's radiant and intelligent and effortlessly witty; and you can still remember the way his eyes lit up the first time he made you laugh.

You had to clamp your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing too loudly, and Hyunjin's eyes crinkled as his smile beamed. He told you it was the prettiest sound he'd ever heard, that happiness suited you much more than sadness, that he hoped you'd smile and laugh more than you'd frown. And you think as long as you're with him, that'll be an easy promise to keep.

You've confided in him much of your life, your thoughts, and your feelings. He's an attentive listener, as well as empathetic and compassionate. And while you're sure to most it's the bare minimum, it felt nice to be listened to for once; to cry openly without being ignored, or mocked on the off chance you were acknowledged. It was nice to be held and gently consoled as you let out years worth of pent up tears flow out, though by the end you were always greatly embarrassed by your red eyes and puffy face.

Hyunjin, who wasn't fond of your step-mother from the start, liked her even less after you'd explained what you'd gone through following the loss of your father. It was interesting, as well as vindicating, hearing in detail his first impression of her, and how accurately he pin-pointed her personality and motivations. He told you he was used to dealing with people such as her, and his ability to nail her down was proof enough of that.

That's why he likes you, he said; likes that you're nothing like your step-mother, or step-sisters, or the countless other people he's met that hold the same motivations and values as them. There was no denying that his attraction to you started with your appearance, he admitted so himself right from the start, but you believe him when he says he's not superficial enough to marry for looks alone.

Whether you're as pretty as he says you are is still a matter of contention within yourself, but you try not to reject the compliments; especially not when he speaks them so earnestly. You don't find yourself special, but maybe it's enough that he does. And you recognize that everything about your relationship with Hyunjin is unconventional, but you don't dwell much on it.

You never would've had the chance to meet someone normally, and you welcome the solace and joy he brings you just by being near. When you think further upon how close the two of you have become, you wonder if words like "friend" or "companion" are enough. You wonder if this is what it means to be in love, if longing and desire and joy are really as hand in hand as they were always portrayed in your novels.

His tap on your window comes earlier than you expect it to today, elation spreading through your veins instantly as you rush to the window to open it for him. Normally, Hyunjin doesn't come to you until the sun has long since fallen, but tonight he arrives while the last specs of sunset still linger on the horizon. "You're early," you comment simply, a small smile spreading on your lips as he steps his way inside to your bedroom.

"Couldn't wait anymore," he replies, meeting you with a soft smile of his own. Summer brought with it longer days, which meant longer waits for Hyunjin to arrive at your window, and less time spent together before he had to rush back to his home. He pulls you into an embrace, gentle and warm, and you squeeze him tight for a small moment before you allow yourself to melt in his arms.

His hands rest comfortably on your back, lingering even as you pull slightly away to look up at him. "Your hair has gotten longer," you muse, taking a soft strand into your hand and admiring it between your fingers. "Has it?" he asks, having not noticed himself; it's hard to notice subtle changes considering he sees it everyday. "Do you like it?" he follows up, ever so slightly tilting his head as he awaits your answer. 

"I do," you reply as you let it fall from your fingertips, now letting your hand fall to his shoulder, "it's pretty." He hums in response, smile turning bashful. Since becoming more comfortable in his presence, you speak your mind more openly, which also means he receives more compliments from you. There's a shyness that lingers, a blush often overtaking your cheeks after an admittance of finding him pretty, or handsome, or beautiful, but it never stops you from saying what you truly think.

Hyunjin is used to receiving compliments; and it's not meant to sound vain, but that's the reality of being the prince. And because he is used to them, he is normally unaffected by such words; but with you it's different. He isn't blind, of course, he knows he's conventionally attractive- but it's the intent of the words that matter. Unlike others he's met, you are genuine and sincere. You don't speak with ulterior motives, you don't say things unless you earnestly mean them.

So, when you say he's pretty, he takes great pride in it; because you aren't saying it out of a sense of obligation or gain. You just like him, and he likes you- that's all there is to your interactions. The affection you share is the realest thing he's ever felt, refreshing and authentic.

You know he's the prince, though he hasn't yet told you himself; you overheard your sisters speaking about it to each other just a few days after their arranged meeting. They were by your door, loud voices carrying and infiltrating your space. You think you were meant to hear it- vain and confident in themselves as they are, you suspect they wanted to rub it in that one of them would marry the prince.

Not that you cared- unbeknownst to them, you already met him yourself, and you’re the one the prince really shows interest in. And his identity shocked you at first, but as you thought about it more, it made sense; his impressive carriage, his elegant attire, the way he carried himself and spoke, why you thought you recognized his family crest- it all clicked.

Given all you've learned about him, what he thinks about the world and what he values, it makes sense that he wouldn't tell you right away, and you don't hold it against him. Going your whole life questioning the motives of others, and perceptively picking up on their dishonesty.. it must be hard. You can't even imagine it.

In turn, Hyunjin can't imagine how hard your own sufferings have been, his heart aching terribly for you whenever you put your sadness to words. There's a strange sort of comfort that comes from it however; your lived experiences being so entirely different, but aligning in just a way that leads you to understand one another.

Still, there were many times that Hyunjin wished the solutions to your problems were easy- that he could just use his authority as prince of the realm to give you your life back. Unfortunately, he thinks his interference would only make things worse for you; wish as he may that he could simply order your step-mother to be kinder to you, there's no way he can do so without great risk to your well-being.

It's frustrating and saddening to realize how little his power can do to help the one he cares most deeply for. There were equally times he wishes he could just take you away from all that hurts you; but until you either agree to wed him, or he becomes king after marrying another, he has no authority over who may or may not reside in the castle.

His greatest hope, of course, is that you'll wish to marry him. He doesn't even want to think about the devastation that will be wrought upon him should you reject him. You like each other, that much is true and plainly obvious, but marriage, especially to someone destined to rule, may not be something you want. And besides that, he's always wanted his marriage to have real affection tied to it- and until he knows definitively where your heart lies, he will be patient.

Though they sound like complaints, Hyunjin actually loves the progression of your relationship. Yes, it saddens him that as things stand now he can't remove you from the source of your pain or change things, but there is an equal amount of good that has come from his experiences climbing to your window.

His heart beats fast and erratic whenever you look at him and smile, your soft, small giggles and sweet laughs make his ears and face burn pleasantly. It doesn't always show, given his natural charisma and learned manners, but you fluster him more than you realize. His brain stutters when you compliment him, his body crawls with goosebumps when you initiate a hug or hold his hand, he unconsciously holds his breath when your face ever comes slightly too close to his own.

Though his father still urges him to bring home a bride sooner rather than later, he has managed to quell his father's worries by describing his affection for you. It's also what allows him to regularly leave the castle to meet you, with Chris himself also attesting to how genuine the prince's infatuation for you is.

And it's moments like this, when you're in his arms and looking up at him with your soft doe eyes and sweet smile that he feels the urge to kiss you the most. Before he can think about it much longer, you're separating from his hold, grabbing his hand and leading him to your bed with a softly spoken, "Shall we?"

It's your routine when he visits to sit or lie in your bed together, talking endlessly until the time comes that he has to depart. Sometimes you fall asleep, in which case he just indulges in the feeling of holding you close, stroking your head until the chirp of birds begins with the start of the sunrise, alerting him it's time to go.

Sometimes talking is too hard, and all you want is to feel him close and let your negative feelings wash away in his hold, and let them be replaced by his warmth. Sometimes you run out of things to say and simply enjoy each other's company in comfortable silence. Oftentimes, Hyunjin just being in your space with you is all you need to be happy. 

There's an unspoken hope there that you share- that someday soon you'll be able to fall asleep together, to wake together, to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, for every moment to be spent with the person that rouses your once dormant heart. There’s still part of you that questions if you can really be loved by someone as good as him, but it’s what you hope for more than you’ve ever hoped for anything.

"Wait-" Hyunjin calls softly as you begin to step towards the bed, and you stop, turning back to look at him with a curious tilt of the head and questioning eyes. He swallows, beginning to lose his nerve as you stare at him. He wants to tell you how badly he wants to kiss you, to ask if it's something you'll allow him, if you crave it as much as he does.

"What is it?" you ask, squeezing his hand when you feel the slight anxious tremble. His face reddens, and he internally curses himself for having such difficulty. He once felt it was entirely unlike him to be reduced to such shyness, but you bring it out of him with just a look. "I just.. uh, well-" he starts, but before he can get much further, you hear a sound from the hallway that makes you jump.

"Shit-" you mutter in a harsh whisper, the sound of a metal object clinking just outside your door. Hyunjin doesn't realize what it is just yet, but the sound is one you can instantly recognize- it's the sound of your step-mother taking the padlock into her hands. You scramble to push Hyunjin in the direction of your bathroom as you hear the lock begin to turn, afterwards standing near your open window as calmly and naturally as you can manage.

Hyunjin doesn't have any time to think about what's happening, or to dwell on the sound he heard outside your door before he hears it start to swing open. All he can do is hide himself behind your bathroom door, and pray that whoever is entering your bedroom has no reason to step inside your bathroom.

Your step-mother enters your room with suspicion clear on her face, looking around the room with narrow eyes and scrunched brows. You take a quick, cautious glance towards your bathroom, relieved to notice that Hyunjin isn't in immediate sight. Thank God, you think; you don't know how she'd react to seeing the prince inside your bedroom, and you don't want to find out.

"Who are you talking to?" she asks, taking a stern step closer to you. You swallow down your nerves the best you can as you prepare yourself to answer- you can't give her any reason to suspect you're lying. "I was talking to the birds," you answer, pointing to where a nest of them rests on the tree nearest to your window.

The family of birds are settling in for sleep now that the sun has sunk, and you hope your step-mother finds it believable enough that you'd talk to them as they ready themselves for bed. Her eyes follow where you point, easily spotting the birds beginning to tuck their heads down, and she scoffs. She could've sworn she heard another voice replying to you but.. that'd be impossible, wouldn't it? Who would even be here talking to you?

Yes, though she hates to admit when she's wrong, she was likely just mistaken. The other voice she thought she heard was likely just you supplementing a conversation you wish you could be having with another person. There were never two people- just you, and the lonely life she inflicts upon you. So she smiles, condescending as ever as she speaks, "Yes, well. I suppose that's all you can do."

Your step-mother takes one more cursory glance around your room before she decides she's satisfied and turns to exit your bedroom. You breathe a sigh of relief when she finally steps out the door, and Hyunjin steps out from your bathroom just as the sound of the lock on your bedroom door clicks shut. He recognizes what it is more clearly after hearing the sound of the lock a second time, and his heart sinks at the realization of what that sound means.

"Hyunjin?" you whisper in question as he walks right past you, heading straight for your closed bedroom door. He takes the doorknob in his hand, twists it and pushes the door- and what he feared to be true is immediately confirmed. The door doesn't open, harshly stopped as the lock clanks against the door from the motion of it trying to be opened- you're locked in. Why are you locked in?

When he turns back to you, you say nothing; just look at him with those deeply saddened eyes that twists his heart into knots. "You're.. are you always locked in your room?" he asks, though he dreads the answer- and he suspects he already knows. You feel as if you'll sob if you speak, so you don't- you just nod.

His heart sinks to the pit of his stomach, a complex mix of sadness and rage on your behalf beginning to boil in his veins. He knew your step-mother to be vindictive, vain, materialistic, mean, but this.. It was a cruelty positively unheard of, and he couldn't fathom why anyone would have so much hatred in their heart as to resort to this.

He clenches his fists, takes a breath, tries to quell the intensity of his anger before he steps back to you. Your eyes have fallen to the floor, head hung low, hands balled into fists. Hyunjin softly calls your name once he's returned to your side, and you look up at him, eyes glassy as you blink away the tears that try to form. He wraps his arms around you, pulls you to his chest and hugs you tight.

Your reaction is delayed, the complex whir of emotions dulling your senses, but you eventually return the hug. You hold him the tightest you ever have, your hands gripping and bunching the fabric of his linen shirt. Carefully, Hyunjin leads you to your bed, where he knows you find the most comfort. You crawl into bed as soon as he pulls back the blankets, practically curling into a ball as soon as your head hits the pillow.

Hyunjin lies next to you, pulls the blankets up to your chests once he's settled, holding you once more after you move in closer. You press yourself close to him, curling your limbs around his, clinging to him in a desperate need to stay as close as possible. Head pressed into his chest, he softly strokes your head, whispering comforts to you until he feels your body begin to lose its built tension.

Now more than ever, Hyunjin is firm in his belief that he can't let things stay this way- there has to be some way he can use his power to help you. He doesn't want to walk away after knowing the true depth of all that you suffer, he wouldn't forgive himself if he did. Again, he calls to you softly, and when you look up at him he asks, "Do you want to leave? Get away from here?"

You blink, processing the question and wondering how you should answer. Unfortunately, the answer isn't an entirely simple yes or no. The truth is, you wish you didn't have to; this is your father’s manor, the house you grew up in, and though you've suffered greatly since his passing, you find it hard to let go of the happy memories that came before the tragedy.

Despite that, even if he were still here now, it is true that you'd have to leave eventually; you'd marry someday, and married women always leave their childhood homes behind when they wed. Still, when you think of never seeing the manor again, of never returning to your childhood bedroom or talking again with the maids who helped raise you, you feel impossibly sad.

You wish you didn't feel so tied to your home, but it's hard to let go, even when you know it is what's best for you. Additionally, when you did let your mind wander and think about what sort of life you'd lead if you ran away, you realized you were impossibly scared of the world. You've been locked away for so long that you don't remember the way to the places you once recognized, all your connections have been severed, and getting to the castle city, even if you did remember the way, would take days on foot.

Add the fact that you'd have no money, and no way to prepare food for the trip without getting caught, you never let yourself entertain the thought of running away past the occasional frivolous daydream. Sure, you could climb from your window and leave without getting caught, but you could never convince yourself that it was worth trying.

But now you have someone, don't you? Someone who cares about you, who would help you find your way in the vast world you've been kept away from, someone who doesn't want to sit idly by and let you suffer any longer. All you've done since meeting Hyunjin is hope- and the more you look at him and see how vividly he cares, you think that maybe your hope isn’t misplaced. That maybe the life you’ve always wished for is actually obtainable if only you just try.

"If I leave.. where would I go?" you can't help but ask now that you are entertaining the thought of fleeing from the source of your suffering. Realistically, you know there is no way you can do this without Hyunjin's help, and you're sure he knows this too, but you don't want to ask too much of him. You're thankful to have him to rely on, but you don't want to impose- so it's imperative to you that he offers first, so that you don't feel as if you're burdening him.

"Stay with me," he offers without any hint of hesitation, "even if we never wed, even if you never desire me the way I desire you, stay with me." Hyunjin takes your hands in his, squeezes them in his as he continues, "I promise, you’ll never have to suffer again as long as you are in the castle. Please, leave this place with me.”

Your heart skips and stutters, emotion crawls back up your spine and pricks your skin, hitching your breath. And shit, Hyunjin realizes what he just said- he got ahead of himself, and brought up that he lives in the castle. He wanted to admit the truth of his identity carefully, but now.. well, he supposes if you agreed to leave with him, it would've come out tonight regardless.

Still, he stutters as he tries to explain himself- how it was never intended to be a lie he kept from you. How he doesn't often have the chance to meet people who don't already know his status so when you didn't recognize him, it made him happy. How he enjoyed that you could talk to him without pretense, how refreshing it was to him and how it was exactly what he needed, what he'd been looking for.

You smile, even giggle a bit once he gets really deep into his spiraling ramble of explanations. He stops then, nervously giggling back when you squeeze his hands and tell him to slow down, that you understand him completely. "I knew," you tell him after a moment, "well, not the whole time- I didn't find out until later. But I didn't bring up that I knew because it didn't change anything for me. I never cared that you're the prince. To me, you're just Hyunjin."

God, the relief that spreads through his body at your words- a massive weight has lifted from his shoulders. And the confusion you felt about why someone like him could ever fancy you so much- you feel like you understand more now why he likes you, and it helps ease the burden of your self-doubt. You sit up from the bed, looking down at Hyunjin with a timid, yet eager smile.

"Let's go," you tell him, and he quickly sits up with you, a bright smile of his own plastered on his face. "Right now? You're sure?" he asks, trying (and failing) to hide the excitement in his voice. You nod, and he positively beams, ready to help you with everything you need. You don't have many bags, much less ones suited for travel- so you settle for choosing the largest of them all.

Hyunjin helps you back the things you can't bear to part with; old gifts from your father, sentimental pieces you can't bear to part with, the blanket your mother knitted for you when you were still growing inside- you stuff your bag to the brim with your most precious belongings. It's heavy by the time you're done, and Hyunjin takes it and slings it around his shoulders, promising to treat it with care until it's delivered safely to the carriage. "Are you ready?" he asks after you both approach the window, and you pause, turning around to take one last look at your bedroom.

Once you leave, you'll never be back, and with that comes strange, new and complex feelings. But you think it's more than past time you left this place behind, and made a new place your home- a place where you are free to be happy and to exist without guilt. "I'm ready," you affirm as you turn back to the window, and Hyunjin smiles and nods, giving your hand one last reassuring squeeze before he lets it go to climb out of your window.

Hyunjin steadies his weight on the trellis, and you lean out of your window to check how far down the ground is- and shit, you might be afraid of heights if the way your stomach drops is any indicator. "I'll wait for you at the bottom," he tells you after noticing the apprehensive look in your eyes, and you nod with an anxious swallow. Hyunjin has done this a million times at this point- you can do it too! No problem!

Of course, Hyunjin makes the climb look effortless, but you suspect you won't have nearly as easy of a time climbing down. Once he's finished his climb, he takes a few steps back to see you clearly when he looks up, smiling at you encouragingly. You take a breath to steel your nerves before you take a cautious step out of your window, carefully finding your footing on the trellis before adding your weight- the same way you saw him do it.

You descend much, much slower than Hyunjin did, impossibly terrified of losing your footing and falling to the dirt below. When you finally reach the bottom, you let out a massive sigh of relief, and Hyunjin pulls you into a hug, beaming as he squeezes you- he's proud of you, you think.

His joy adds to your own, so much so that you can't help but show it. Leaning closer, standing on the tips of your toes, you kiss his cheek- a way to tell him thank you, to show him how much you like him, and to convey how happy you are with him. He blushes ever so slightly as his smile grows, a giddy feeling once again building in his stomach.

"When all this is behind us, and you're safe at the castle with me.. Can I kiss you?" he finds the courage to ask, your face flushing as you smile and nod. "I'll look forward to it," you tell him, and you raise your pinky to him, intending for it to be a promise. With a soft chuckle, he interlocks his pinky with yours, happily solidifying the promise.

"This way," he tells you shortly after, separating your pinkies to take your hand in his, and lead you to where the carriage awaits him down the dirt road, and away from the manor. You take a final glance back at it as you walk with him, whisper goodbyes to all the things you'll miss, to your father most of all.

As the carriage comes into sight, it really sets in how real all of this is- how with this night, your life will become completely different. You wonder how everyone will react when your maids enter your room in the morning and find that you aren't there- part of you is sad you can't bid them goodbye personally, but you hope they'll be happy for you and wish you well.

You hear the coachman call to Hyunjin's attendant as you step closer, informing him with surprise in his voice that he is back earlier than expected- and with you. His attendant, who you know as Chris, and have heard many stories about, steps out of the carriage with an almost bewildered expression. He certainly wasn't expecting this to happen tonight.

Hand in hand, Hyunjin continues to lead you up to the now open door of the carriage, with Chris standing next to it. "Are you..?" he asks tentatively as he looks between you both. Together, romantically, you infer him to mean. "We'll discuss it later," Hyunjin says, turning to offer you his usual warm, reassuring smile before he looks back to his attendant, "for now, I'd like you to formally meet the future princess."

Living in the royal castle is something you never would've believed would ever happen to you, and it became your reality in the strangest of ways. To think that a beautiful man came to your window in the night, that said beautiful man wanted to marry you, and was the prince of the realm of all things.. It was confounding how you ended up here.

There's part of you, that even having known the truth for months, still can't seem to wrap your head around Hyunjin being the prince. You suppose it comes down to knowing something and seeing something being entirely different- because though you knew, you never, until now, saw him in his element, so to speak.

Watching him interact with the world behind your small scope was as enlightening as it was affirming; you saw a new side of him, but it was a side that was still firmly Hyunjin. He was eloquent but opinionated in royal discussions, he was kind and grateful to his workers, he was stern when something needed done, but never cruel or overly demanding- again, all you could think was that he’s perfect.

Was Hyunjin getting ahead of himself when he introduced you to his attendant as the future princess? Maybe. But though you haven't said it aloud, you think you fell for him harder since coming to the castle; and being the princess, while a stressful endeavor that requires you to intensively study politics and speech, will be worth it to stay by his side.

The parts of Hyunjin you've come to love the most are the parts you realized are reserved only for very few to see- the part that is wittier than political discussions will allow, who is secretly a bit dramatic when things don’t go his way, a hopeless romantic who clings to the ideals of literature.

And further beyond even that, are the parts of Hyunjin that are for you, and you alone; where natural charisma melts away into bashful sincerity. Whose soft, affectionately spoken words are said with an equal mix of earnesty and boyish timidity. Whose graceful confidence is intermixed with the subtle complexities of shyness and the seeking of your approval. 

All these aspects combined are what make him so special to you, and you will be forever grateful that after all the suffering you’ve endured, you are allowed to love someone as good as him, and are loved by him in return. And thanks to his help, not only do you live a life you could have only ever dreamed of, but are adjusting quite well to that new life.

Some things are the same, such as having kind maids who helped you settle and attended to your needs, but then there were things that were entirely different from the life you lived before. You have your own attendant now- a sweet boy that Christopher vouched for named Felix, who Hyunjin affirmed you would be able to trust with your life, as he does with his own attendant. And truly, Felix did quickly become someone you felt like you could rely on and trust; oftentimes, he feels more like a best friend than a royal attendant.

Though he makes sure you stay on top of your studies, and fulfill all tasks you need to have done, you can also easily spend hours giggling away about various things- like how Chris is so serious but also a secret softie underneath, about your relationship with Hyunjin, about Felix’s secret crush that he hopes to confess to after preparations for your wedding to Hyunjin are concluded.

It’ll still be some time before that day comes, as apparently the king is sparing no effort in making it an extravagant event to remember- his only son is being wed, after all; it’s worth the kingdom celebrating to the fullest extent possible. You try not to think about the life you left behind, but you often wonder if your step-mother and sisters have connected the dots between your disappearance from the manor, and the announcement of the prince’s wedding.

If not, she’s certain to realize once the day has arrived; because all reputable families of the kingdom are invited, and she never turns down a royal invitation. The offer to rescind their invitations came up, of course, but you declined- because there’s a part of you that sincerely wants this to strike your step-mother in the core of who she is, and make her reflect on herself. And if it doesn’t, well.. You’ll find some satisfaction in seeing her appalled and infuriated that you’re thriving despite her meddling in your life. 

Currently, you and Hyunjin still reside in separate rooms because unwed couples sharing a bed before marriage is deemed inappropriate- not that either of you care; it doesn't stop Hyunjin from sneaking to your room at night, in much the same way he did when you lived back in your father's manor. Sneaking across balconies, quietly climbing over each and every banister until he reaches your room- it's a far cry from the "proper" way a prince is expected to behave, but when it comes to the whims of his heart, he pays no mind to such expectations.

What was once a knock at your window is now a careful tap to the glass of your balcony door, where Hyunjin stands and waits with a shy grin for you to greet him. You never lock the doors, as you're sure he knows- but regardless, he always waits for you to come and let him in yourself. It's just the same tonight- he softly knocks and waits, smiling when he sees you rise from your bed to come to the doors.

"My darling," he greets you sweetly when you open the door, taking your hand and kissing just above the knuckle as he bows to you. You've experienced the greeting what feels like a hundred times over at this point, but it never fails to raise goosebumps on your skin; especially when he looks up at you and smiles before he straightens his back and stands tall once more.

Instead of inviting him inside, you step past the door to stand on the balcony with him, the cool breeze refreshing after having dealt with the heat of the late summer sun prior. He wraps you in his arms, wasting no time in tilting his head down to capture your lips in a soft kiss. His lips on your always fill you with just as many butterflies as the first time, his hands finding their way to your waist causing you to shiver.

"I've missed you," he breathes against your lips before he kisses you again, and you hum as you return the kiss, wordlessly agreeing with the sentiment. Preparing for the wedding makes you both incredibly busy these days, from dress fittings to studying in your case, and readying to ascend the throne in Hyunjin's.

With hardly any free time to yourselves, this is how Hyunjin ensures he gets the chance to spend at least some time with you. Sneaking over to your room, no matter how exhausted the day has made him, because now that you're in the castle with him, he can't go a single night without seeing you, feeling you, at least just once.

And normally, he would follow such a kiss with conversation- ask about your day, what you did and how you're feeling, what preparations for the wedding were done today, etcetera. But for whatever reason, right now he just wants to keep kissing you, over and over again, for as long as you'll allow him.

Maybe it’s because the last few nights he hardly got to see you for more than a few moments, leading to greater longing. Maybe it’s because the wedding looming closer makes the reality that you’re together feel so much more real- you’re his, and he’s yours, and there’s so much beauty in being in love, in promising that you’ll remain together no matter the years that pass or challenges that come.

Your arms wrap around his neck, your body pressing closer into his, and it’s almost criminal how much that simple of an action makes his head spin. You’re a clingy lover- not that Hyunjin minds by any means; he loves it, in fact. He loves feeling wanted and desired by you, and the way you crave and seek out his touch; the problem, so to speak, is the way his body reacts to your close proximity. It’s.. an indecent reaction- one that he has to do his best to contain, lest he do something improper and act gracelessly.

Still, you tempt him- with doe-eyed looks, pouting lips and gentle caresses to bare skin. He desires you, wants to lay your bare and look upon every inch of your body, to feel you naked beneath his fingertips- but he can’t, not yet. And so instead, he has to make a conscious effort to not linger on such thoughts, to swallow them down until the time is right. But the more time he spends with you, the more difficult a task it becomes; and now, after having gone a handful of days not being able to see him for more than a few passing moments, you cling to him more than usual, making the need inside him impossible to ignore. 

You drive him utterly crazy with a simple touch- and he wonders how much of it is a conscious decision, and how much is executed simply by instinct. Do you realize just how deeply you affect him, or do you act purely on what feels good and right to you? Maybe it’s an equal mix of both- enjoying the effect you have on him, but also thriving in the euphoria that touching him makes you feel.

You haven’t gone much further past passionate kissing and idle, yet purposeful, groping of each other’s bodies, as Hyunjin tries his best to be proper and “follow the rules”- in which having intimate relations whilst unwed is wildly improper, and against everything he’s ever been taught. But when the wind blows your robe partly open, and he sees nothing underneath but your soft white lingerie, he can’t help but recall that such rules have always been pointless to him.

Hyunjin has always followed his heart before considering consequences and what is "right." So, if you're in love, if you want each other more than words, if you know you're going to be wed soon anyways, why should he hold off from following what his heart desires? Nothing about your relationship with one another has ever been conventionally proper, nor followed pre-established rules and notions, so why hold himself to such things now?

Do you think and feel the same as him? He suspects you do, but tonight he intends to find out for sure instead of wasting any further time questioning the depth of your intent, and considering conventional rules above his feelings. His hands squeeze your waist as he turns you both around, pressing your backside against the sturdy balcony banister, the sound of surprise that leaves you muffled by his lips that have still yet to part from yours.

"I want you," he says after pulling away from your lips, though still close enough for you to feel his breath directly on your skin, "more than I fear is allowed." There’s a fear there- that the depth of his longing is entirely one-sided, that the way in which he craves you goes unrequited, that the longing you feel doesn’t go past its current boundary.

Hyunjin rests his forehead against yours, eyes staring straight into yours in a way that makes you feel equal parts vulnerable and warm. "Do you want me too?" he asks carefully, setting aside his nerves and uncertainty, his hands trailing over where the wind tousled your robe and exposed your shoulder.

"Say no, and I'll stop right now. We'll move on as if this never happened until you're ready to discuss it," he continues, hand pausing where the strap of your bra lies, uncovered thanks to your partially fallen robe, "but I need to know- if I am allowed to want you as badly as I do, and if you return these feelings." He watches your reaction attentively, unconsciously holding your breath as he waits for a hopefully favorable response.

You swallow, heart nearly beating out of your chest as you open your mouth to speak, and you're certain that Hyunjin can feel the goosebumps rising on your skin- goosebumps that exist solely because of him, and not at all from the late night chill. "I want you too," you respond, and you can see the way relief and excitement wash over him. A million promises and "thank you"'s linger on his lips, but instead of speaking them aloud, he pours them into his kiss, letting his body do the talking for him.

His hand travels away from your shoulder, down towards your waist, where your robe is held together with a loosely tied ribbon. The anticipation makes you shiver, and when you feel the knot come undone, you pull away to allow him the chance to look at you. It's utterly nerve wracking being this exposed, and you don't feel the least bit confident in yourself- but at the same time, you know how much Hyunjin reveres you, and so you want him to look.

While it's still a struggle to believe all that he sees in you, you know this is something he'll sincerely love. From the very moment your touches started to become more intimate he has craved this sight of you, and you grant him the opportunity to stare as much as he wishes to. You leave him breathless for a moment, and for quite possibly the first time, you watch in real time as something shifts inside of him.

The look in his eyes changes, first from awe as he unconsciously sucked in a breath, to utmost, almost overwhelming desire. He takes you in his arms and lifts you up, and you instinctively cling to him with a surprised squeak. His hands hold you up from under your thighs, and you wrap your legs around him while tightly holding his arms. He places you on the thick banister, and you shiver when the cold iron makes contact with your skin through the thin material of the robe you’re wearing.

He kisses you with fervor, his tongue sliding past your now parted lips. Comfortable with your position and Hyunjin’s strong hold on you, you move your hands from his arms to his face, holding it as you invite his tongue further inside your mouth. One of his hands continues to support you and hold you close to his body, while the other slips your robe further down, until it falls down your arms and pools at your elbows.

Another breeze rolls by, and you shiver once more, this time fully feeling the chill. Your thin, almost sheer lingerie does nothing to hide how hard your nipples have gotten, allowing Hyunjin to see them clearly when he pulls away from your kiss and glances down. He licks his lips as he stares at them, lets his free hand move away from your legs and up to your chest, palming one of your breasts over the thin fabric of your bra.

You gasp when his fingers brush your nipple over the fabric, and Hyunjin drinks in the way your body reacts to the near overwhelming sensation his fingers grant you. Your hands fall back to his shoulders, gripping them tightly as your body squirms. "Does it feel good?" he asks, this time watching your face as he rolls your nipples between his fingers, attentively watching the way your face changes.

Biting your lip and closing your eyes as you nod, your legs instinctively try to close together but are unable to due to his place between them. The soft, near whiny gasps you let out are intoxicatingly sweet, a sound Hyunjin could easily imagine himself becoming addicted to. He kisses you again, lingering on your lips and briefly muffling your whines before he trails down your jaw and to your neck, where he places wet, open mouthed kisses.

His touch makes you hot- so much so that the cool breeze no longer affects you the way it had moments prior, your shuddering coming solely from the way he's making you feel. He slips a hand inside your bra, touching your nipple directly now, the pad of his thumb rubbing over it in rhythmic strokes. He can feel your thighs tremble and squeeze him, still desperately trying to close together, driven by the innate need to seek friction.

You don’t outright say you need more, but your body does more than enough to tell him- and so Hyunjin dips his hand further down, slowly traveling between your bodies, over your stomach until it reaches its destination between your legs. He doesn’t know what to do, really- but he’s nothing if not a romantic at heart, and he lets that guide him onward. Following the romantic fantasies that often played in his head, he brings his lips back to yours, sensually kissing you as he rubs your heat over your panties.

It's so wet- much more than he ever could've anticipated. The fabric, that was already so thin and nearly sheer to begin with, has become almost entirely see through and now sticks to you uncomfortably (though Hyunjin’s hand is proving to be a perfect distraction from the discomfort.) His own fingers become slick even without direct contact, and it excites him as much as it drives his curiosity. What do you taste like? Is it okay for him to find out, or is that too far?

He wants to know, desperately wants to know- “Can I taste you, please?” he asks in a soft, pleading tone; it’s okay if you say no, he’d never question your limits, but fuck, he really wants it. You let out a breathy, eager “yes,” to which he responds with the most breathtaking smile. You watch with bated breath as he begins to trail kisses down your torso, leaving a few lingering touches to your nipples and stomach on his way down.

Hyunjin helps you slide off the banister, hands securely on your hips and guiding you forward, closer to him. He completely kneels down in front of you, presses soft kisses to your inner thighs as he guides one of your legs to rest over his shoulder. You lean back against the banister, your hands holding it for support while his hands rub over the back of your thighs and to your ass. He holds you there, occasionally squeezing, and you can feel him smile against the meat of your thighs when it causes you to squirm in his hold.

You watch his tongue dart out from between his lips, wetting them before he finally brings his face closer to your center, giving you a curious kitten lick over your panties. That alone is enough to make you jolt, and he squeezes you a bit tighter in response, trying to help you stay still while he explores the newly accessible parts of your body.

He can’t think of a single thing he could compare your taste to, but he loves it, an involuntary noise of pleasure rising from his throat. He quickly grows dissatisfied with small, careful licks- he needs more of you on his tongue, needs to taste you directly. But rather than separating from you and wasting precious time getting your panties off you, he decides it's a better idea to simply pull them to the side.

Your balance falters for a moment when he moves his hand away from your behind to shift your panties out of his way, but he’s quick to bring it back and continue to hold you once his tongue has once again met your core. Your grip on the railing tightens, head falling back and eyes fluttering closed as you let out a low moan. You never expected to be experiencing your first time with something like this outside, on your new balcony of all places, but you can't deny that it excites you.

It's fun, exhilarating, almost freeing- something that would've forever eluded you had you not met Hyunjin, and fallen in love with him. And oh, you’ve never felt anything as good as his tongue between your folds. You divert your gaze back down, mesmerized by the sight of him between your quivering thighs, and he too is mesmerized- by your taste, by the way you drip on his tongue, by the way you gasp and cry out when his tongue finds your clit.

He alternates between swirling his tongue around it, and giving you long, flat licks, both of which drive you crazy with need for more. You try your best to not let your noises get past a certain volume, teeth digging into your bottom lip almost painfully, hands desperately clutching at the banister as your body involuntarily trembles. It doesn't take long for Hyunjin to find the pattern you like, what motions cause you to cry the loudest despite your desperate attempts to contain yourself.

Your stomach rapidly tenses and contracts, your moans quickly turning into high-pitched whines as you’re driven closer and closer to release. You’re dizzy, mind practically floating with immense pleasure, your hips unconsciously rolling into his face as you seek sweet, blinding relief. Hyunjin’s cock throbs painfully in his trousers, straining against the fabric that has now grown tight around him, but he ignores it, completely focused on you.

He looks up at you from between your legs, watches the rapid rise and fall of your chest as you take desperate, panting breaths, sweating clinging to you in an ethereal sheen. You take one of your hands off the banister, instead burying your fingers into Hyunjin’s long hair. He groans against you, unexpectedly enjoying the way you slightly tug on the loose strands.

The feeling in the pit of your stomach grows in intensity, your eyes rolling back as he flattens his tongue and lets you grind against it as you please. You let go of his hair when you feel your orgasm start to peak to clamp your hand over your mouth, wanting to avoid waking the entirety of the castle with your moans if you can help it.

He squeezes you once more, does his best to hold you upright as you lose yourself to the feeling. It feels so good you almost can’t breathe, the tingling that starts in your spine spreading throughout your entire body, as mind numbingly euphoric as it is overwhelming. He doesn’t separate from you until he feels your thighs relax and legs go limp, carefully removing your leg from its perch on his shoulder, holding you steady as he rises back up to his feet.

It takes you a moment to return your senses, only just barely registering Hyunjin talking to you as you blink away the fog of pleasure muddling your brain. He’s asking things like if you’re okay and if it felt good, grinning when you nod and answer him with meek affirmations. When he kisses you, you can taste yourself on him, and it somehow adds to just how amazing you feel.

It’s in that moment, where he’s stroking your cheek while kissing you, tongue exploring your mouth and sharing the taste of your release with you, that you decide you want to return the favor. Mirroring what he’s done to you, you let your hands wander his body until they meet the waistband of his trousers, where you slowly undo the buttons. His breath hitches when you sink to your knees, anticipation rising in tandem with his nerves.

Will you like what you see? It’s not something he’s ever worried about before, but now he finds himself awaiting your reaction anxiously. Wanting to spare him the late night chill, you don’t pull his trousers and underwear all the way down, instead just pulling down enough for his cock to spring free of its confines. And, wow- it’s much longer than you expected, as well as mouth-wateringly pretty, the vein running along the length utterly entrancing to you.

Pre-cum leaks steadily from the tip, and you curiously stick out your tongue to taste it as you wrap your hand around the base of his cock. He hisses and softly gasps, twitching and throbbing in your hand that is so much softer than his own. You quickly move on from small, careful and curious licks to swirling your tongue around the tip, sometimes stopping the movement of your tongue to press wet kisses to it.

His pre-cum smears over the tip and all over your lips thanks to your kisses, and it’s easily the most erotic thing he’s ever had the pleasure of seeing. And God, when you look up at him through your lashes as you kiss him, your pretty lips wet and glistening because of his release- he has to make conscious effort to not let out a visceral groan.

After a few more soft, wet kiss, you open your mouth and flatten your tongue, leaning forward on your knees, using your hand to guide his cock into your eager mouth. His body shudders as he groans, the more you take of him into your mouth, the more he struggles to restrain himself. Hyunjin leans forward, grabs the banister for support while he watches you try to work him in past your limits- taking him in until you gag, retreating just long enough to recover before resuming, trying to take him further than last time with each attempt. 

Tears prick the corners of your mouth, threatening to fall with each additional inch taken down your throat, but you refuse to concede. He brought you such unimaginable bliss- and you’ll do anything to make him feel the same. Just as Hyunjin had done, you proceed purely on instinct, staring up at him as you finally succeed in taking his entire length into your mouth. And fuck, the sight of you- how is he supposed to retain composure after seeing you like this? 

Grip on the railing tightening, his eyes roll back when you start bobbing your head along his length, the sound of his cock sliding back and forth in your mouth creating impossibly salacious wet sounds. Saliva drips from the corners of your mouth, down to your chest and thighs, but you continue on, paying no mind to the mess you're making on yourself.

For the first time, you hear Hyunjin speak with an utter loss of composure- no smooth charisma, no eloquently crafted line of dialogue; just pure, pleasured rambling. "Darling, I can't- feels so good, I-" he cuts himself off with a curse, biting his lip as he feels you caress his throbbing vein with your tongue. He’s never felt so good before, and he’s so close- but what is he supposed to do? Release in your mouth? Is that even okay?

He intends to ask, opening his eyes to look at you as he does, but oh- the sight of you instantly causes the words to die in his throat, the sight of you paired with pleasure he feels is just too much for him. He cums with a moan, loud and pretty, his cum gagging you as it shoots straight down your throat. You pull away seconds later, releasing him from your mouth with a pop, swallowing the cum that lingers on the back of your tongue as you wipe your lips clean with the back of your hand. You look up at him next, taking in the sight of your normally elegant lover looking so debauched. He’s breathless and utterly disheveled, but still so impossibly perfect.

Hyunjin helps you to your feet after he’s collected himself, pulling you into an emotionally charged, sensual kiss; lips parted, tongue seeking yours. He lifts you up once more, deciding that both of you have spent more than enough time on the balcony, continuing to kiss you even as he carries you inside your bedroom. It makes the walk more precarious, but neither of you care, absorbed in one another as you are. And maybe you should feel some amount of shame for having pleasured one another in such an open space, but it’s the furthest thing from your minds. 

All that matters is Hyunjin; how he makes you feel, and how you make him feel. Lying you on your bed as gently as he can manage, he finds his place between your legs as you fall to your back. His hands find the waistband of your panties, and you lift your hips to help him slide them off your body. Your robe is the next thing to be removed in your flurry of impassioned kisses, followed by your bra, and all of Hyunjin’s clothes. 

“Love you so much, my darling,” he breathes against your skin between his kisses to your lips, hands roaming your body, “want to be inside you.” You pull away enough to see him clearly, your eyes finding his even in the dark of your room. “I want it to,” you admit softly, heat rising to your face, “I love you, Hyunjin.” He smiles, brief and timid, before he kisses you again, slipping one of his hands between your thighs to feel your heat with his fingers.

He rubs his fingers between your folds, and you let out a shuddering breath, body trembling with anticipation. You’re still so wet, and Hyunjin can’t help but involuntarily groan when he imagines what you’ll feel like wrapped around his cock. He takes his cock in his hand, smears your essence along it to get it wet, glancing up at you after he aligns himself with your hole. You look apprehensive, and he’s immediately worried you’ve changed your mind and want him to stop- 

But when he offers, you quickly shake your head. You’re nervous, that much is true, but you want this- everything you experience with Hyunjin is new and beautiful, and you’re certain this will be too. And every time you’ve been hesitant, or scared, or anxious, he was there for you; he held you and listened to you and helped you find not only the courage to be where you are now, but your self-worth too. You love him, you trust him- and what better way to show him the depth of your love and trust, than to offer yourself to him, body and soul. 

With one last affectionate kiss, a softly spoken promise to always take care of you, he begins to slowly push inside you. You both gasp, sensitive from your prior orgasms, the effect profound even before he’s all the way inside. There’s a slight discomfort at first that quickly gives way to tingly pleasure across your body, the sensation effectively stealing the breath from your lungs. Hyunjin clenches his jaw, breath growing more labored, his cock twitching and throbbing inside you even when his body is completely still.

He leans back down to you once your hips are flush together, wraps his arms around you, pressing your body against his. You wrap your arms around his neck, while he holds you under your shoulders, kissing you as he experimentally rolls his hips into yours. Each roll of his hips is slow and purposeful, as is each kiss you share. You understand now, why sex is often referred to as making love- because there can truly be no other way to describe the moment you share, and the feelings that come with it.

When he pulls away and looks down at you, his heart races even faster; you’re so pretty, beautiful- with your hair fanned out around you, the moon shining through your balcony doors highlighting the sheen of sweat in the most ethereal way. All he can think about is how much he loves you, how lucky he is to have you, how good you are to him. You’re perfect, utterly perfect in every conceivable way- and he knows you’d say just the same about him, would still find new ways to compliment him once you ran out of words.

Despite the languid pace, it doesn’t take long for Hyunjin to feel close again- he’s already cum once, and the sensitivity he feels from it in combination with the way your walls squeeze him is impossibly overwhelming. He squeezes you closer, his chest pressed against yours, his face burying its way into your neck. You can tell how close he is, from the way he twitches and throbs inside you, to the way he gasps and moans close to your ear. 

Wanting to cum again with him, you move your dominant hand between your bodies, finding your clit with your fingers. When Hyunjin feels what you’re doing, he separates from you enough to watch, looking between your bodies to watch the way your fingers move. Your walls start to squeeze him tighter as you work yourself close to your release, and he can’t help but groan, hips picking up speed as he chases his orgasm with you. 

Your noises grow louder once he picks up his pace, and you’re sure the guards outside your room have realized what’s happening- but neither of you can bring yourselves to care about containing yourselves anymore. You cum in tandem with one another- Hyunjin first, a strained groan of your name passing his lips as his cum shoots deep inside you, the feeling of it sending you over the edge with him. 

Both of you are breathless and hot, with hearts thumping the hardest they ever have, but he kisses you regardless, paying no mind to his desperate need to catch his breath. He brings one of his hands to your face, caresses it as he kisses you, and still after he pulls away. He looks at you with such pure affection, soft admissions of love and tender care softly spoken for only you to hear. 

Even after he carefully pulls out, he sticks close to your side, holding you close in his arms, refusing to leave you to go back to his own room. This is his place now- with you, listening to your soft breaths and stroking your head as sleep begins to take you. His own eyes quickly grow heavy, your warmth inviting, and he knows he’ll soon fall asleep with you. He whispers his affections, his love for you and how happy he is, knowing that this night is just one of many perfect nights you’ll continue to share in the future. 

network tags: @skzstarnet @ksmutsociety

[infamous-if]

Dec ✮ 12 ✮ 2024 – update

Part of me hates doing these mostly because it's a whole lotta nothing and me just repeating everything I said the last update (lol) but I do like doing it because I like keeping people updated, even if it's a non-update. I may sound like a broken record (pun not intended) but I know a lot of people don't catch my updates every time so it's nice to just keep people informed yk yk

✮ — Part 2 + rewrite

Fun fact: I had written an entire essay about my excitement for the rewrite and chapter 3 and beyond but it got too long!

It boiled down to me wondering why I'm so excited for this rewrite and realizing it's because I feel comfortable enough to approach it with complete creative freedom. I wrote the first iteration of the demo with the constant worries swimming in my head like "I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here" and "I hope this situation is being read the way I intended for it to be read." And I think I sort of had those thoughts tenfold while writing Part 2. If you paid attention, you can probably see where I was trying to shut down certain discussions in the narrative lmao

Recently I had a tiny epiphany and reminded myself that it's not always about what I intend to write, but what is being understood by each reader. And yes this is basic writing 101 but let me have this moment of clarity okay. Embracing that means I can proceed with Infamous without holding back and sticking to my guns in regards to what I want for this story aka I'm just going to write what I write and like....not worry about the rest you feel (while of course integrating the common critiques and suggestions and improving on the things Infamous falls short in—I am not Shakespeare lmao)

ANYWAY my point is that I'm excited to fix up the demo !!! and just go back to it with complete confidence in myself and write whatever the heck feels right to me (and write the rest of the story lolol) and return with a better story than I have now for everyone!!

✮ — December will be for

planning what I'm going to improve and squeezing that in a reworked outline so it can flow much better narratively.

Outlining Chapter 3 and hopefully have the bare bones first draft drafted up which is mostly just be writing blocks of descriptions

I'm not sure I'll have anything substantial to justify looking for beta testers so soon yet but maybe!

work on my spice writing babey writing/reading spice makes me actually physically recoil but im determined to get better! which reminds me to finish the 6k follower gifts!

And also take a small breather because I am moving!

✮ — Patreon

I've already mentioned this on Patreon and a few times on here, but I do want to reiterate that Patreon content is coming out in bulk this month, in case anyone was wondering why I'm not posting as frequently. The content is still the same in terms of the quantity, it just won't be released every few days! thank you guys for being understanding of that <3

✮ —

My activity has is decreasing little by little due to my move but I do read every question and try to at least answer one question a day. I get quite a few mentions lately so I have to sort through those since I do get tagged in things, but I miss them due to my notifications. Usually I hope for the best and hope tracking the tag puts it on my dashboard <3 im not ignoring anyone!

That's all for now! Hope everyone has a happy December and Happy Holidays!

[anotherobeymeblog]

Which of the characters are the loudest in bed? 👀

I had to rewrite some of these parts three times because tumblr kept not saving the draft when I clicked "save draft" so forgive me if some of them sound a little clipped, I'm pretty annoyed about it lol

Loud

Mammon: Yeah, Mammon has absolutely no concept of volume control. Naturally, he's wildly embarrassed by this and will try to deny how loud he is even in between moans. It's pretty fun to tease him about this. It almost makes it worth all the times someone will bang on the door demanding you keep it down. Almost.

Diavolo: Idk what you expected. He sees no reason to try to hide what you're doing, so he doesn't bother keeping his voice down. And, tbh, I'm not convinced he could be quiet if he tried. This man has a big, booming voice and even his dirty talk sounds more like shouting. Barbatos isn't paid enough for this shit.

Solomon: Whore 💖 He's absolutely shameless, so you better hope no one else is in the same building as you when you fuck. Of course, if you ask him to try to be quiet, he'll happily make even more obnoxiously obscene noises just to annoy you.

Moderate

Leviathan: Levi will bite his lip raw to try to stifle his noises if you don't stop him. He's actually pretty quiet as far as like... decibels go, but his tone is so shrill, his voice carries much farther than it would otherwise. He sounds absolutely pathetic, and if you call him out for this, he will cry, but he will also cum on the spot.

Asmodeus: Okay, I know this is a hot take, but considering his vast uh. Experience, there's no way Asmo doesn't know how to adjust his volume for the situation. Much like everything else related to sex with Asmo, YMMV because he will try to shape himself into your ideal partner. However, if you do manage to get him to loosen up and stop trying to impress you, he naturally makes these clipped, high-pitched whines that are super cute, but not that loud.

Belphegor: So sex with Belphie can really be divided into two categories. Sometimes, it's slow, lazy sex where he's still half asleep and adorably clingy. In these cases, he's almost silent, with the only noises he's making being little sighs and incoherent mumbling that you think might be your name. But on the other hand, when he's in a particularly bratty mood and wants you to wreck his shit, it's a totally different story, and he will be spitting taunts at you even as the words keep getting cut off by choked moans.

Simeon: Simeon is prone to crying during sex and everyone else can fight me. He tries to maintain some semblance of dignity at first, but it never takes long before he falls apart and starts crying out freely.

Quiet

Lucifer: Yeah, the most you're getting from him is the occasional tremor in his voice. He's bad at showing vulnerability at the best of times, so you just have to get used to picking up on the way his mouth twists or his brow furrows, because you won't be getting any more obvious reactions than that. (Unless he's drunk, but that's another story altogether.)

Satan: Depending on his mood, the sounds he makes range from low growls to soft, breathy moans. Either way, it's gonna be pretty quiet, and you'd need to be within a couple feet of him to be able to hear them at all.

Beelzebub: If you're doing something particularly intense, you may be treated to some choked grunts, but otherwise, the only noises he really makes are his breath getting heavier and whispered praises that grow increasingly incoherent as he approaches his orgasm, at which point he seems to stop breathing altogether.

Barbatos: Barbatos makes these drawn-out, airy noises that are very cute, but almost inaudible if your faces aren't right up against each other. If you make it known that you want to hear him better, he won't get any louder, but instead will lean towards you to moan right in your ear.

[arachne4]

Okey, imagine Wesker is trying to learn about reader (stalking them) and one day reader is pair up with a coworker (any character if you like) and they have a conversation and it goes deep and it tells how sad reader life was and Wesker is just listening and he tries to treat them better or just straight up takes them away. Your choice!

yan!wesker x bsaa!reader

Wesker decides that the world doesn't deserve you

Tw: stalking, from weskers perspective/slightly unreliable narrator, creep Wesker, toxic mentality/behaviors

He lingered behind you, in shadows and corners, just lurking. And today was really no different, sitting in and listening in to your conversation.

"I'm not sure I can do it anymore, Chris."

"huh? What're you talking about?"

Wesker loathed how you talked to chris, how you were so comfortable telling him every little thing about you. It was sickening to him to say the least. That should've been him there! He should've been the one comforting you.

"I can't keep living like this Chris. Every single day I work my ass off to make bioterrorism come to an end. But it never does. When will I finally, finally be done, Chris?" You look over at Chris, eyes watery and glistening.

And while normally, Wesker would love to see you cry, here is not the place nor time for that. Instead he merely sits quietly, cursing to himself everytime Chris talks.

"I don't know.." Chris closes his eyes, head hanging down low. "I'm not sure that in our lifetime, it'll ever end." He looks back over at you, his face distraught.

Wesker sighed and rolled his eyes, was that the best Chris could do to comfort you? If he was over there, he'd hug you and tell you everything was okay, that you don't need to worry. But instead, Chris just has to make all about himself.

"But, just because it won't end for us, doesn't mean it won't end. What about future generations? It's our job to do as much as we can for them."

"Yeah... I guess you're right..."

Wesker stared, appalled at the scene before him. There's no way you could actually believe what Chris was saying? If He wasn't in the middle of bsaa headquarters, he would've snatched you up that instant. You deserve to know true comfort, not whatever bullshit Chris was spewing.

Begrudgingly, Wesker slunk away, a few ideas brewing in his brain

So basically um I had to rewrite this two times, because Tumblr drafts r lame... sorry if the ending isn't that great, by the second rewrite I was losing it.

If you like what you see, send a request in :3

[gothicprep]

so, apparently marvel is in disarray. ahead of the marvels coming out this weekend, variety dropped a bomb on the studio's somewhat dire state of affairs, as the franchise has hit its first real rough patch since the release of iron man 15 years ago. among the issues: jonathan majors, whose domestic violence arrest continues to hang over marvel's plans to make his character the thanos-like heavy for the next sequence of movies, the weak box office projections for the marvels (which some have said is tracking lower than recent bombs like the flash), the unending flood of hashtag content on disney plus which is overwhelming audiences who are finding it harder to keep up with the interlocking stories that have served marvel so well over the years, shoddy visual effects, spiraling budgets such as the reported $25mil an episode for she-hulk, a show that looked terrible because of the shoddy effects work aforementioned, behind the scenes chaos as kevin feige works to slash budgets and kill projects that aren't coming together. one movie at risk is the forthcoming blade reboot with mahershala ali, which has gone through rewrite after rewrite including reportedly one draft in which blade was the fourth lead in, quote, "a narrative led by women and filled with life lessons".

that last line has provided a lot of laughs for people like jay gothicprep, and critics who insist that marvel's efforts to diversify the lineup have led to much of this disaster, indicative of disney's overall failure with things like indiana jones and the dial of destiny or animated projects like strange world or lightyear. while this is potentially true (i guess, it's possible) it doesn't seem true because this certainly wasn't the case when black panther and captain marvel were both cracking the billion dollar mark a few years ago. rather it just seems, more simply, that marvel has run its course. marvel was hit by a double-whammy of endings. the thanos storyline that'd dominated the first ten or so years of the project came to an end. at the same time, the pandemic began and disney plus started flooding the zone with content, creating a natural break point for audiences that had no desire to watch hours of tv to understand 1.5 plot points in whatever the next movie that's coming out is.

this preamble is getting kind of long, and i have a lot more to say, so i'm going to continue to thought dump about this under a cut.

first of all, i'm still laughing like a week later at the women led life lessons description. no one has disputed that it happened. that description is the funniest thing i've ever read in a trade industry report possibly ever. what in the hell, my friends. did a writer even talk to a producer about what blade was? it's a movie about a guy with a sword who kills vampires! it's pretty straighforward! that sounds like something i want to see! there were three of them already, and two of them were pretty good!

anyway, i think you can take that incredibly ridiculous description of a draft that maybe wasn't the main draft – this movie has been through tons of writers and directors – and see some of the real problems with marvel's creative direction, which is that they've stopped making movies that highlight the core concepts of their characters. there are other problems as well, but when's the last time they put out a movie that was like, "iron man. he's a guy in a metal suit and he fights a bad guy." or "spider man. it's a guy in a spider suit with spider powers. he's got girlfriend problems and he fights crime around manhattan and maybe there's dr octopus." they don't do that. their recent stretch of movies have all been these impenetrable multiverse stuff with ties to tv series that you haven't seen and maybe won't ever see. there was a whole 25 minute section in black panther 2 that was setting up armor wars and ironheart. and like. who needs that sequence, which was boring and looked like total garbage? and now armor wars is being redeveloped lol. they've just departed from a lot of the core concepts that powered their earlier films.

they have some other problems. they've leaned into a slate of characters that is not all that well-known or inherently super popular, even for marvel being able to deliver on making billion dollar films out of guardians of the galaxy and such. maybe with the exception of spider man, which they don't get a full cut from because sony owns the actual movie rights. then there's the fact that the streaming series, by all accounts, aren't great but you *feel* like you need to have seen them. they're all real big problems. marvel needs to go back to making movies that are named after a character who's a superhero with a clear concept. guy with spider powers fights crime in his neighborhood. even though those movies got kind of repetitive, they did well enough because they didn't stray too far from the character concept.

i think, too, as a viewer, when you have a studio churning out so much stuff that's not good, you get the impression that the superhero industry feels entitled to your time and entitled to your money while not delivering.

this summer also represents an interesting counterpoint to what's happened with marvel and dc. the sheer amount of stuff that you devote every waking minute to keeping track of the damn things got exhausting and made movies stop feeling like events. this summer we've had barbenheimer and the eras tour, and those have been both big events and felt exciting. barbie was a chance to be campy, oppenheimer was a chance to see something serious and cinematic, the eras tour was exciting for fans of taylor swift who couldn't afford to spend $3k on taylor swift. and they felt this way because they were all unlike anything you'd seen at the movies in recent years. they had a high standard of quality, and going, it genuinely felt like people were there because they wanted to be, not because they were being force marched by a cultural behemoth to be there. you can't summon that same kind of energy for a marvel movie when it both feels obligatory and you expect it to be bad.

it also feels like there's a certain contempt for the audience where it concerns quality problems. i mean, i don't think that this is the intention. marvel isn't saying "we can deliver this stuff that's garbage and people will see it anyway". but one of the things i thought was the most damning about that variety story was the fact that, on some of the marvel tv shows, the final effects were inserted after the shows were released. so if you watched the show on opening night, you probably didn't see the final effects work. the arrogance involved in that is insane. it speaks to a total vanished pride in putting out a good product.

even some of marvel's better regarded films were heavily edited and heavily worked on right until the end, in part because kevin feige would come in and fix things, so stuff would have to get reworked. that's why effects deadlines were super tight and people were always crunching at the very end of this. there was that incredible quote from sam raimi from a couple months before the second doctor strange came out where he was like, "i think it's done but i'm not sure. marvel, they work on their movies until the very end." the director didn't even know if his own movie was locked or not because he clearly wasn't the one making the decisions about what the final print would look like.

that can work if you're making two movies a year and have a supervisor that comes in during the process and says, "i need you to redo this, in this way". but when you stretch that out to three movies a year, plus god knows how many episodes of television, there's no way to do that and make it a high quality product.

an instructive lesson comes from the book "disneywar", which chronicles michael eisner's time at disney. and one of the things in this book was the development and deployment of "who wants to be a millionaire" in america. bob iger is head of abc at this time. the guys making this show do it for a week. audiences love it. it's putting up huge numbers. everybody is excited. it's crushing it in the ratings. and the people who made it wanted to keep doing special week or two week long engagements that people would show up for. and iger was like, "no. i want this every week, three times a week, forever." and audiences got burnt out on it quickly, because it was something that only really worked as a special that ran for a week and disappeared for a few months. that's what the disney plus strategy feels like with marvel.

[seangelfish]

hi!! can i request romantic fluff of kaoru with a reader who likes to draw but is really shy about it? like they always hide their sketchbook when he goes up to them, but its bc they really likes to draw him when he isn't looking. tysm!! take your time and have a good day <3

Aww, this is actually a cute request because I absolutely love Kaoru and I could relate to the reader here too (as an artist myself)! I had to rewrite this twice because I didn't like my first draft lol but this version is definitely a lot better, so I hope you enjoy reading! ♡

Her sketchbook

Kaoru Hakaze x artist! Reader ♡ Genre/s: Fluff, mutual crush ♡ Word count: 1,423 ♡ Plot/summary: Kaoru always wonders what's inside that sketchbook of yours that you just won't show him. However, you vowed to never show this sketchbook to anybody especially Kaoru who you like so much.

During break, you would head off to the Yumenosaki Academy Garden where you would draw to your heart's desire. You usually drew the pretty flowers therce or the insects that visited them. Sometimes you'd draw the birds that would land on the table you were working on, also feeding them bits of your lunch. By time, that sketchbook of yours was covered in beautiful, colourful drawings of nature.

Kaoru, who had taken a liking to you, would always ask what you were up to. He'd always find you in the gardens smiling happily to yourself when you've finished a drawing. He liked seeing you like this when you're content and at peace.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” called out a voice.

You knew it was Kaoru, so you looked up at him and smiled. He's been visiting you a lot lately, and you always enjoyed his presence.

“Haha, you’re drawing again?” he asked happily. “Can I see?”

As you glanced down at the drawing you were working on, you gasped. This made him look down too, but you had already slammed your sketchbook shut.

But despite you liking him so much, you could never show him your sketchbook. EVER.

"(Y/N)?"

"It's not that good!" you cried. "I don't want you seeing it!"

"Huh? But–"

And in a blink of an eye, you were gone, leaving Kaoru stranded all alone in the gardens.

This same situation has happened countless of other times too. Whenever you'd see Kaoru appear from the hedges, you'd immediately hide your sketchbook on your lap. When you weren't in the gardens, but on the school's rooftop, and Kaoru was there helping out with the school's laundry, you'd hide your sketchbook behind your back. Even when he would visit you in the art department with Rei, your sketchbook was just no where to be found!

"She just doesn't want you looking," said Koga after Kaoru had finished telling the rest of UNDEAD his observation. "I wouldn't want you looking either."

Adonis agreed. "It's her personal sketchbook. She probably has stuff she just doesn't want to show you."

"I suppose..." Kaoru sighed. "But I would like to know what she's drawing..."

It wasn't as if you didn't show any of your drawings to Kaoru. You were happy to show him the pieces you were working on in class. Not only did he think you were beautiful, but the things you drew were beautiful too.

However, the way you presented yourself in class and the way you presented yourself outside in the gardens were completely different. He noticed how confident and poised you were whenever you're painting in class. You were focused, the brush between your fingers as you painted the canvas with delicacy. You were graceful with your strokes, careful with your movements. He loved watching you like this, and he loved it even more when you'd catch his eye from outside your classroom as you smiled at him.

But as he watched you smiling to yourself in the gardens, scribbling into your sketchbook with your face resting on your palm, he couldn't help but love you even more. You were truly content, giggling to yourself as you scribbled away. There was no need for you to act poised here, so you were able to be yourself, draw the things that you wanted to draw. Kaoru could see that clearly. He could see how the gardens' colours complimented your warmness, so he always wondered what things you were drawing that made you so happy like that.

The next day, he found you in the gardens again, as he always would. He could tell you had taken a break from drawing because you were now lost in thought, your hands cupping your cheeks as you stared at the sky.

“Haha, cute,” he muttered to himself.

He approached you slowly so he wouldn’t make a noise. You really were deep in thought because you hadn’t noticed him until he cupped his hands over your eyes.

“Guess who!”

You screamed, but once you knew it was Kaoru, you started to laugh.

"Oh, it's Rei, right?" you joked.

Kaoru chuckled, but a part of him didn't like your response. Was he jealous over you guessing wrong? You weren't even guessing properly and he knew of it, but it still annoyed him.

"Of course, it's you, Kaoru," you said as if you were reading his mind.

He had let you go at this point. You looked up at him with the brightest smile that he has ever seen you pull, but as he was looking down at you, he caught a glimpse at your opened sketchbook. You noticed this too, but this time, he was quicker than you.

He snatched your sketchbook from the table and began flipping through it.

“Kaoru, no!!!” you pleaded, gripping his blazer in order to stop him.

He wouldn't stop though. Eyes glued on the pages, he flipped through every single page of your sketchbook that you swore to yourself not to show anybody ESPECIALLY Kaoru.

The first few pages of your sketchbook were what he expected: drawings and sketches of the gardens. As usual, he thought they were beautiful. He could tell how much you loved this garden, and the feelings you have put into your drawings.

However, as he continued to flip the pages, his eyes widened.

"(Y/N), I..." he began, but trailed off.

Because what he was seeing in the next pages were no longer sketches of still life, but sketches of him. There were so many of them, ones of which were of him smiling and laughing, others of him looking confused or into the distance. There were even sketches of where he was preforming in his UNDEAD uniform.

When did you have time to draw these? He was with you most of the time, wasn't he? Does that mean that when he wasn't looking, you'd quickly sketch him?

By the time he reached the last page, his face was a deep shade of red.

"I didn't... expect that," he finally said.

You covered your eyes with your hands, head down on the table in complete embarrassment. All you wanted to do right now was to disappear off the planet. On the other hand, Kaoru couldn't stop smiling. He had to cup his hand over his mouth to stop himself.

“(Y/N), I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” he said shyly.

He always thought that his crush was one-sided, that you were just treating him like a friend. So now that he knew that the things you were drawing in the gardens that made you so happy were him, he couldn't contain his happiness.

He bent down a bit and clasped your shoulder, stroking it reassuringly. "(Y/N), please look at me." He spoke with such gentleness to you that you couldn't refuse his plea.

You lifted your head off the table and slowly looked at him. Your face was hot, cheeks glazed with tears.

"(Y/N)?! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry!" he exclaimed, feeling regretful of his actions.

"It's just... so embarrassing..." you sniffled. "I didn't want you finding out like this...!"

"Hey, hey," he said soothingly. "Please don't cry... it's okay... I love your drawings. You drew me so beautifully. I'm... actually really happy about it."

You could tell. Even when your vision was blurry due to the tears, you could tell how happy he was due to his big, radiant smile he had on his face. It made you want to cry even more.

You really did like him.

"I always wondered what you were drawing that you didn't want to show me," he began. "But to find out that it was me, I... I just can't help but love you even more than I ever have. (Y/N), you don't understand how much I adore you."

As he poured out his feelings for you, you couldn't help but cry even more. He wiped away your tears, bringing you into his embrace. You hesitated, but hugged him back, finding comfort in his big body.

Once you've calmed down, you looked at him again with a smile. He cupped your cheek which made you chuckle.

"I like you so much, Kaoru," you stated. "But I'm sure you already know that now. Am I... still allowed to draw you?"

"I will let you draw me as much as you like, just... don't run away from me, okay?" he replied with a soft laugh.

You nodded, taking his hand in yours.

"I promise not to do that anymore~"

Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules

[farfromstrange]

Update

Okay, now that I've got your attention. Listen up.

Just kidding. (Not really.) I have some actual updates that you might want to read.

Good news for all of my fellow Michael Kinsella lovers: I finished rewriting and editing the next chapter of Chaos Theory! It has been a while since I watched the show, so I need a bit more time to reread it once more and check how it sounds. I don't want to disappoint. If all goes well, I can post it later tonight. Thank you for being so patient with me!

Also good news for all of my Foreigner's God readers: I have scrapped the first draft of chapter 55, which is a very good thing because that means I have finally identified why I hated it so much in the first place, and I'm currently in the process of writing it again. It's already flowing so much better, so I think I might be able to finish it by the end of tomorrow or, at the latest, Saturday!

Not so good news for my Total Eclipse Of The Heart readers: I have not come around to writing for that series, and I'm still trying to find a way to reign the plot back in before it can run away from me. I'm also trying everything to get some vampire inspiration, so that might take another week, but I promise, I'm rereading and I'm trying to give you what you've been waiting for. This series has turned out to be quite a beast, so I need to figure stuff out a bit more before I can put new chapters out for this one. But I promise, it won't be too long.

And to everyone else following me and my writing, I also have some news: There is an announcement for something I've been working on also coming later tonight! (Hint: It's a Matt Murdock fic). Plus, I have finally managed to agree on a vague idea for a Spencer Reid fic, but that will still take some time to plan. But I do have a plot and I do have a backstory, so that is also (kind of) good news for those of you who are curious about my jump back into Criminal Minds.

For those of you who have sent in requests back when they were still open: I'm trying to finish them. I'm so sorry for the long wait, but life tends to get in the way.

I have also gotten requests long after I closed them, and to those who have sent in requests anyway, I will still try to work through them, but you will have to wait until those who have requested while my inbox was still open have got their fics. It's only fair. I hope you understand.

Anyway, that was all (I think). I love you guys, and take care.

Thanks for reading this. You can scramble now. Bye!

[sawrinwrites]

March Content Plans (Long Update)

As it is now the 25th here in frosty England, it has officially been 2 months since I published my first piece of fan fiction. In that time, I've released:

A one-shot containing my first ever attempt at both monster smut and an explicit F/F sex scene (which is currently my most popular work????)

A low angst (I know, I can't believe it either) romantic one-shot from the POV of a golden retriever

4 chapters of an emotionally intense story that is so far from my usual writing style I have to re-read earlier chapters to remind myself how to write it (a deliberate stylistic choice but boy, am I paying for it)

3 chapters of what was meant to be a fun side project and is quickly turning into something deep and dark and wonderful in its own right

All in all, that's 4 bodies of work spanning 57.7k words released over a period of 9 weeks (not including the 15-20k which got rewritten / replaced / outright cut). Which is, for me, insane. It's also a pace that I won't be able to maintain going forward, so for the sake of setting expectations (my own, more than anyone else's), here's the current plan for March:

The Monsters At My Side And In My Shadow Ch 1-3 update Given that this has gone from "werewolf smut hiding in a multi-chapter fic" to "multi-fic exploration of abuse with a healthy dollop of smut", I want to revise what's already been released to better align with what I have going forward. There won't be any plot / event changes, scenes that get altered will be getting either an expansion or a rewrite, depending on the work needed (which will include adding more smut-adjacent content because it's currently lacking and I want it to be better).

Untitled - An Ember POV Story to Celebrate 1yr Since The Bees Kissed (March 25th) @reeves3 put the idea in my head and now I have a collection of outlines covering various points in Yang and Blake's relationship all told from the perspective of the Best Girl. They won't come out in chronological order as I'm looking to line them up with various events, but the current plan is that March 25th will cover the introduction of a new member into the Xiao Long-Belladonna pack.

Additionally, I'd like to release the following chapters but I am forcing myself to accept that these will likely get bumped to April:

The Monsters At My Side And In My Shadow Ch 4

Shattered Divinity Ch 5

There's a few reasons for the (temporary) slowdown in content:

I am supposed to draft 1 - 3 OC novels this year (the mistake of mixing alcohol with an empty resolutions boards and the word "bet") and I need to dedicate more time than I have done to those projects to have any hope of doing that.

Rather than wait for the fan fic writer's curse to hit, I've gone and done it to myself by buying my first house. The offer got accepted yesterday, so now I have to deal with the joys of legal and financial paperwork. And start prepping for a move. And every other stressful time consuming thing that comes from this period. Don't get me wrong, I am fucking ecstatic, not least because it means me having an actual bedroom for the first time in almost 4 years, but the next steps are going to take a chunk out of my usual writing time.

@kaelidascope is about to drop a veritable feast of content. Look, I'm not subtle about how much I enjoy her work. She's my favourite fan fic writer. She's probably one of my favourite writers period on account of the emotional damage and veritable joy Mightnight Menagerie has brought me. And I'm not just saying this because she's been exceptionally complimentary of my own work (which, by the way, I am still freaking out over). She is one of the main reasons I started writing fan fiction. If it wasn't for the original Beestfic, I'd never have written The Hunt. Which means I'd never have had the concept ideas that initially led to starting The Monsters At My Side And In My Shadow, and without that fic, I wouldn't have had the 3 experimental scenes between Yang and her grimm which ended up inspiring the idea to write Best Laid Plans from Ember's POV. So I will be setting aside some time (translation: every waking moment I have during release weekend) to thoroughly immerse myself in the relaunch. Also there's two Menagerie chapters due and the previews are already threatening my analytics brain and unfortunately it takes time to launch that kind of assault on AO3's comment section.

So yeah. A few things going on in March. I'm gonna try and do this as a rolling monthly thing going forward in lieu of trying to have a timed release schedule. Hopefully the April one will be a bit lot shorter.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Oh this is such a fun question, no one's ever asked me this before! Okay ummm... in no particular order because these are special to me in different ways ー

A Fangirl's Dream (still in-progress, I'm just slow TAT)

Ivy has it rough. She's no anime fan or FMA fan. But when she somehow crosses the gate, she finds herself in the worst possible position: a protagonist of an Another World fic trope. And between the alchemy, automail, lack of plot knowledge, and struggling with her attraction to a pretty blonde mechanic, Ivy reluctantly teams up with the main characters in her journey to get home.

This is a fic years in the making and I'm not talking about how the little hiatus it is in. This was a fic I started working on in about middle school as a pair of sister stories that I deleted on an old FFN account. It was going to be some sister stories about two friends that end up in FMA at different times before their stories coincided with one another and they crossed paths in their separate adventures in Amestris.

One friend was an established fan of FMA and the other wasn't an anime fan at all. AFD covers the journey of the friend who isn't a fan of anime in general, having only watched a handful (NANA, Naruto, DBZ). FMA, is not one of them.

In middle school these fics were going to be EdOC for AFD and for Swept Away (SwAy) it was going to be LingOC because at the time, those were the characters I was most obsessed with.

A handful of years back I decided 'you know what, I'm going to rewrite AFD and SwAy and finish them no matter how long it freaking takes!!!!' And in the process, new ships evolved and different journeys for the OCs, Ivy (AFD) and Akasha (SwAy) were developed. Ivy and Winry had such good chemistry, imo, that I decided to shift the story to be about them whereas I had more of a darker descent planned for Akasha who couldn't distinguish that while these were characters she knew and loved, they are real living people in front of that won't act according to the scripts she's crafted in fanfiction's passed.

I'm hoping to get back to writing some chapters for this soon so I can finish AFD and finally starting working on SwAy and make past me proud to have finished them.

The Different Rules of Summer

‘Okay so you think ghosts are fake but totally think that bigfoot and mothman are real?’ Lance scribbled furiously on the piece of paper in total disbelief. ‘Ghosts are total BS, man’ Keith look disinterested. ‘This is why you’re single' Lance didn’t expect that his summer vacation would be spent at a library arguing with his deaf co-worker about why cryptids totally aren’t real. Keith volunteers at a library to keep himself out of trouble while his brother works. The worst part of his day? Explaining to some moron why Mothman is definitely a real entity and why the first moon landing was fake. Funny enough, this is the highlight of both of their summers.

This was such a fever dream of a time to write but in the best way possible. VLD was still ongoing and thing going on in my mind was that I wanted to write a multi-chaptered fic and finish it. So I decided to make a personal challenge for myself that I was going to write a fic with 40 chapters for 40 days.

1 chapter everyday, it didn't matter how long each chapter was as long as I wrote one.

Beginning, middle, end. And I did it. Some days I was cutting it close and it felt like a chore to push the chapter out but I did it. I wrote 40 chapters in 40 days, 1 chapter a day and I'm really proud of myself for doing that. I honestly lwk recommend other people try out this sort of challenge themselves if they're ever up to it and have the time!

So I drafted up 40 chapters to write in the draft, some dumb but memorable titles for said chapters and got to writing and wow did this story unexpected blow up? I was not expecting this story to become as popular as it did but it was so fun to write and talk to the people reading it. Especially the Deafies who found the fic and thought I was accurately portraying Keith's experience as being Deaf.

It's not perfect, there's a lot of mistakes and clumsy writing but I fucking did that and no one can take this away from me.

Man is the Breast, Heaven is the Playground + A Blazing Star Sought Refuge in my Chest

(csm manga spoilers ahead)

You might be the only one in your division not utterly smitten with your partner, Makima. Call it disinterest, call it being observant that her smiles never reach her eyes. Either way, you have no interest in bridging the gap between you both. But one day, an attempt is made, and it isn’t by you. + Your contract was simpleー the Control Devil would not use her powers on you, you just needed to stay with her forever.

My beloved Makima duology that someone on twt deadass tried stealing and passing off as theirs. That shit aside though, wow did I love writing these.

At the time, I was really frustrated by the state of the Makima x Reader tag. Because it was usually just Dom Makima smut. Which, there's nothing wrong with that but because what I wanted to read was something that explored the depth of Makima's character, the goals that motivated her terrible actions in the manga and the loneliness that wracked her sense of self..... I decided that I wanted to read that story, I would have to write it myself.

So I did. And because people loved HBHP so much, I felt inspired to write a sequel that included Nayuta.

A lot of love and care when into writing these stories and it makes me happy when I still see people reading them if they find them in the tag. I didn't expect to like writing for Makima as much as I did, I honestly want to write more concerning her if I'm being honest. I do have a WIP on that right now, it's just taking forever to get my vision just right...

The Summer Moon Was Born to be Loved pt 1 + The Summer Moon Was Born to be Loved pt 2

You got pregnant and the ghost of university days past finds out five years later.

Months in the making as there was a lengthy hiatus between both chapters but this was something I had a lot of fun writing. I wanted to write my own spin on a trope I've seen established and simply wanted to write it well. I had been talking with a friend of mine about it and we discussed how we thought the events would go with different characters from Mitsuya and Hanma from TokRev to Nanami and Gojou from JJK. I thought as far JJK went, Gojou had the potential for most mess and decided to write a story involving him.

And in that, I ended up including a lot of one of my favorite things in the world: the ocean. Utilizing oceanography terminology to showcase the emotional states of the characters, the events happening between chapters, I had a lot of fun doing that.

And I think that I had a pretty clear and concise ending as well. So yes, another personal favorite for sure!

Lost Girl (in progress)

Believing your father’s concerns as the last black family living in the secluded mountains of Wall Maria to be simple paranoia, a you naively set out on YOUR own to discover the world and what it truly holds. Yet after encountering another family secluded in the mountains, the Ackermans, you realize that maybe his concerns weren’t so unfounded in the terrifying yet beautiful reality you live in. Befriending their daughter, a fellow survivor in what it means to be the last of their kind, you find your path leading to the horrors of the Fall of Maria and the 103rd Cadet Corps.

Not my most popular series but one I'm updating slowly nonetheless.

This story has had multiple incarnations. UtSD ver 1 was an OC fic before I turned it into a reader-insert. But version 3 came as LG, another reader-insert but one I think is more polished.

My inspiration for making this was simple. I wanted more Mikasa fic content out there and I wanted to read a fanfiction story where the OC/reader in question were black like me. It's something that's permeated through my brain since high school back when we knew little of where SNK was heading as a story.

What would it be like if you were living in the Walls and black? How would your treatment fair, the beliefs bloomed about you and your kind? Especially if you're decidedly the last of your kind within the Walls. And the comfort that may possibly come from having some sort of like you except not quite.

I don't care if people who aren't black also read this story and partake in the adventure. All I care about is writing something everyone can enjoy, especially if they're someone like me or if they want to read something different.

I hope to one day see more unapologetically POC OC and reader-inserts scattered about the tags alongside ethnically ambiguous ones. I personally usually write ethnically ambiguous characters so everyone can enjoy my fics by not specifying hair texture, saying that your cheeks warmed instead of blushing and things like that. But sometimes, I wanna write something that's really just for me.

Se réjouir, se réjouir

The sun; Neuvillette is the sun. And Furina? She’s not fit to even be the moon. There is a surprising loneliness to freedom.

Wrote this some days after after the 4.2 patch update and finishing the Fontaine AQ. This was a ship I fell quite head over heels with and I had a lot of thoughts in my head about them that I decided to get out of my head by writing something up for them.

I talked about the dynamics that I liked between Neuvillette and Furina already and all the coinciding NeuviFuri material Mihoyoverse was shilling out with their commissions wasn't helping my brainrot either.

For something I pretty much shot out not too long after the update when live, I think I did a pretty damn good job. I had fun with the dynamics and trying to dig into the brain of the characters.

A Little Pain (still in progress even more slowly than AFD)

At the age of 7, there were a few things Hinata Hyuga was sure of. One, her father, Hiashi Hyuga, was the strongest shinobi she knew. Second, just the thought of her having to one day make decisions for her entire clan terrified her beyond belief. Third, her younger sister Hanabi, at the age of 2, was very easy to impress. Hinata Hyuga never wanted to lead her Clan and when she is stripped of her title and essentially an outcast in her home, she finds solace in the brief comforts of a pink-haired girl named Sakura. Though little did Hinata know that losing her heiress title would send her life spiraling down a path of self discovery, bravery, and the realization that changing yourself is a possibility is the most powerful jutsu of all. But... perhaps stopping yourself from fainting whenever you happen to be around your crush is a start. And convincing the entirety of Konoha that it's first all-kunoichi team won't be a complete and total failure should be prioritized before any of that.

Another one of my 'I started this in high school' stories that has been through a rewrite and I'm trying to finish little by little. SakuHina is one of my favorite Naruto ships, has been for years and as someone who has been reading over a decade of Naruto fanfic tropes, I've seen my fair share of 'what if A was on Team 7' fics.

(Here's a post I have on that lmao from my old blog before it got accidentally axed)

So I decided to write my own version of that but the new team in question is Konoha's very first all-kunoichi team. Also, Hinata has a crush on Sakura this time around instead of Naruto. And boy do I have a lot planned for this story, I'm excited every time I get back to my google docs and get to typing little by little.

[bluegalaxygirl]

is it okay if you write about zolu with an reader (fem implied) that love to write like that al she ever does and love books as well?? tyyy remember to drink water

First off love the images, i love cats so much and they are sooooo cute. Thank you for the love and i'm happy to do this but reader is probably gonna act more like me than anyone else so sorry in advance.

Zoro X Luffy X reader, established relationship, poly relationship, Reader is GN.

Warning: Honestly kinda sad even though i didn't mean for it to be and Fluff.

^ You write a lot about your adventures with the straw hats so no one ever takes too much notice when you would write but what they didn't know is the romance you would write as well. Your very embarrassed about anyone else knowing and often hide them or close the book your writing in when some on comes over. You've been writing this stuff before even joining the straw hats and its something you love to do.

^ Even though you love reading books and love writing romance your not a big fan of romance books, some of them feel too unrealistic or have complicated relationships. You like passion and trust in a relationship along with fun adventures. When your not writing you always have a book in your hand unless Luffy or Zoro take it out your hands to get your attention.

^ When Luffy couldn't sleep at night you would read too him, and he'd always want one of your adventure books, he says it's because he loved the way you write and describe things but some times you think he just likes either hearing your voice or thinking back to old times and places. It was rare when Luffy would have trouble sleeping but you knew why, the poor captain would some times have nightmares about losing the crew or reliving Ace's death, you'll do anything to help, cuddles, kisses or even a midnight snack much to Sanji's dismay.

^ Zoro would some times ask about your adventure books but mainly because if you were describing a fight that involved him he wanted to proofread it. Well thats what he told you but in actual face he just wants to see how you write about him, the way he fights and looks while fighting. He's taken notice of how you describe him and Luffy in more detail than others, some times making the swordsman blush, but he loves it.

^ Luffy has found you writing romance before, but he's not that good at reading so couldn't make out much, he just thought you were writing about an adventure and the times you, him and Zoro have together and to an extent he's right but you do add a lot more kissing and loving hugs or words of love than in real life. He's the only one you don't automatically close the book on mainly because your confident that he won't read too much, he prefers to listen to you read to him.

^ Zoro has noticed for a while that you would hide certain books in your draws, he's not a nosy person but your normally so open about things, so he often wonders what's so different about those books. His first thought is that they are diaries of some sort, but then he would see you going back and editing your work or rewrite something. He noticed you had one book that would be your draft work and the other would be the finished product.

^ They both have asked you about them but you just tell them its little facts or historical stuff your working on. Luffy was quick to believe you but Zoro not so much, he could tell you were lying and really embarrassed about it. The swordsman's curiosity got the best of him one night while alone in your shared room, rummaging through the draws he found one of your book and sat on the bed reading it.

^ Once he started he couldn't stop, he honestly loved it but was also very embarrassed when he realized that the two male characters you made up where actually him and Luffy. You described them so well, but they had different names and some times acted way out of character, but he liked it. It's way more passionate than your own relationship and it got him wondering if thats what you wanted so started acting a little more like the books.

^ You noticed the change right away and it made you blush all the time, Zoro would hold you close when ever he could and give you long passionate kisses. He would start sleeping next to you when you write no matter where it is, laying his head in your lap, when he'd wake up his hand would rub your cheek as he looks up at you telling you how pretty you are and how good you smell, It made your heart flutter.

^ Luffy noticed the change too but absolutely loved it, seeing you blush more often made him so happy and the loving kisses off Zoro at random moments made the captain almost cling to the swordsman wanting more. Luffy did ask why the change, but he didn't complain, he just hoped Zoro was ok. The answer was simple, Zoro just said he loved you two so much.

^ The swordsman would read your hidden books when ever he knew you would be away, sitting on your shared bed transfixed by your writing, but he knew he would be caught sooner or later so wasn't surprised when you walked in with Luffy coming back early to find the swordsman reading your book.

---------------- Story

You froze standing in the door way of your shared room as Luffy holds you form behind resting his chin on your shoulder "y/n?" The captain asks confused as to why you suddenly just stopped. Zoro lies on the bed with a smile looking up at you and Luffy with your romance book in his hands. It hit you at that moment that this is why he's been acting different. How long has this been going on for? 2 weeks or maybe a month? "Hay babe's, your back early" The swordsman calls out after you don't move for a while. Luffy lets go of you and walks around poking your cheek slightly "Hay what's wrong?" You didn't answer just started walking over to the bed making the swordsman rise an eyebrow, you wanted to cry out of embarrassment and sadness but you managed to hold the tears back as you reach for your book. Zoro pulls the book away seeing your jaw clench "Y/n? I thought you didn't mind Ro reading your books?" Luffy asks walking over to you and wrapping his arms around you again. The captain was growing more and more concerned as your hand shook going to reach for the book again "Give it" You managed to get out only for Zoro to grab your hand "Babe, its fine... Just let me finished this chap-" The smile on his face was sweet and kind but in your head it was mocking you, like all your old friends who used to read and laugh about your writing. "Give it now Zoro" Your yelling cuts the man off making both boys jump in surprise, the shock gives you a chance to snatch the book off him and hold it close to your chest.

You go to walk away but Luffy doesn't let you holding you close to him "Hay wait... Its just a book right?" The captain asks still unsure of what is going on other than you being upset over a book. "Hay baby, i didn't mean to upset you... I really like it" Zoro stands and gets in front of you rubbing your arms only for your angry and teary face to look up at him "Is this why you've been acting different? How long have you been reading this?... This is for my eyes only" You yell as Luffy's arms loosen around you since your no long pulling away, the captain steps to your side and goes to take the book off you only for you to grip it tighter and shoot the man a glare "Ok i'm really confused what's going on?" Luffy asks looking at Zoro then back to you "Nothing" You try and say but Zoro butts in "Y/N writes romance books" Your heart stops in your chest as anger builds up "Don't tell him, its bad enough that you know." Luffy smiles wide and let's out a laugh catching you off guard "I thought you didn't like romance but I'll happily listen to what ever you write" Stepping back you look down at the floor "This stuff is for me and me only" The two boys look at each other sharing a sad look, they thought you would be happy that they liked it but it seemed to have the opposite affect.

"Y/n I'm sorry i went behind your back but i really like it and once i started reading i couldn't stop" Zoro steps closer trying to take your hand but you step back wiping away your tears "Stop it... Stop acting like you like it... just laugh in my face already" You look up expecting the man you love to do so, but he didn't. "I mean it, I love them." This was something so different, he just stood there with a small smile a genuine one. Luffy steps closer and places his hand on your hip getting you to look at him "No ones going to laugh at you. You know we love your writing, i love listening to you read to me no matter what it is." The support they both show for you is not something your used too but you know these two wouldn't lie to you about their feelings, if they wanted to they would laugh at you or mock you but instead their supporting you. Looking between the two, you try and wrap your head about what's happening "I'm really sorry for going behind your back but... can i at least finish the chapter" Zoro places his hand on your cheek "Y-Your not going to mock me? You really like it?" You ask earning a nod from the swordsman, a smile appears on your face as happiness fills you. Luffy suddenly hugs you relived that your no longer sad or mad "We love you Y/N" The captain holds you tight.You wrap your arms around Luffy burring your head in his shoulder "Thank you... i love you guys too" You manage to get out through happy tears. Zoro takes the book form you and places it on the bed before joining you two in a hug "I love you two"

After a while of hugging and words of love and reassurance the three of you sit on the bed Zoro laying in between Luffy's legs while reading the last of the chapter out loud. It was embarrassing but both boys seemed genuinely happy and enjoyed it, Luffy kept you close to his side while looking down at Zoro and the book in his hands. "Oh so thats why you've been acting different. Hay Y/N if you wanted that kind of attention then you should have just asked" Luffy turns to you with a smile once the Chapters over and Zoro closes the book, a bright blush appears on your face as you shake your head slightly placing your head on Luffy's shoulder "I love the affection you two show me and i'm happy with the normal you two... I've been writing romance for a long time and over time its developed to be more passionate" You try to explain the best you can as Zoro puts the book down and places a hand on your leg "So there's more?" The smile on his face makes you laugh "Yes but i don't have all of them with me" Luffy places a kiss on your head wrapping his arm around your waist a few times "I think its awesome, your so creative and i love how you put us in the story" You jump a little at his words, you didn't think he would notice "Also you shouldn't be shy about it" Luffy continues as you lift your head off his shoulder to look at him and Zoro.

Your mind debated weather to tell them or not, Zoro noticed your conflict and rubs your leg before giving it a squeeze "Why did you think we would laugh at you?" The question makes you sigh but take his hand in yours rubbing your thumb over his knuckles "Iv been writing since this stuff since i was 13, it was something i used to get away from reality. I showed my friends once, and they laughed and mocked me for it, after that i didn't show anyone. I wasn't really well liked in my town, the weird book girl. I just wanted some kind of love, someone who cared about me and most of the time id only feel that love form fictional characters that id writes... I didn't stop writing when i got a boyfriend and when he found out he...." You stop yourself feeling tears well up in your eyes, Luffy leans in and places a kiss on your cheek as Zoro sits up and runs his hand over your cheek "Did he hurt you?" The boys both ask fearing what might've happened due to your reaction "No, not physically... He just laughed and said a bunch of stuff" You wipe away a few tears that fall remembering the hurtful words he said, how no one will ever love you like that, how your lucky to have him and you don't need anyone else. You tried to tell him that its not a way of replacing him, you enjoy writing it and yes you want love like that but it doesn't mean you don't love him. "I stopped writing after that, but he would still talk about it... he'd take me out on nice dates only to mock me about the books. Asking me if the date was better than my books and when i said yes, he'd say i'm lying call me names."

Zoro and Luffy pull you into a hug which you gladly take, placing your head in between theirs as they hold you close "We would never do that to you... In fact, it made me think more about our relationship" You raise an eyebrow at Zoro's words as a pit forms in your stomach scared of what he's going to say "Me too... I want more kisses and cuddles and i want you to read to me more not just when i can't sleep" Luffy smiles pulling away to kiss around your face, you giggle as he does before placing a hand on his cheek to stop him so you can press your lips against his "What ever you want Captain" You smile placing your lips on his again as Zoro pulls away giving a loving look to the both of you. After pulling away you look up at Zoro who runs his hand over your cheek "And what do you want?" You ask feeling more confident that they won't mock you or laugh at you "I like sleeping on your lap when you write and i want to read more of your books.. especially the romance ones" With a smile and a nod you lean up and place your lips on Zoro's who kisses back running his hand up and down your back as he pulls Luffy in closer. After Zoro pulls away the Swordsman turns to Luffy leaning closer to the captain "And form you... i want you sit on my lap more and i like your hugs so.. Could i have more?" Zoro asks earning an enthusiastic nod form Luffy who crashes his lips onto the swordsman's while wrapping his arms around Zoro's neck.

You laugh at Zoro's surprised face and how he had to stop himself from falling over, but he soon kisses back pulling the captain into his lap. Luffy pulls away and grabs your hand pulling you in to join the cuddle, you don't complain or resist just snuggles into the two resting your head on Zoro's shoulder "I love you both so much" Luffy smiles pressing his forehead against Zoro's "I love you two more" You smile up at them getting them to look down at you with cheeky grins "No i love you more" They both say before looking at each other "No you" They both yell at each other making you laugh louder than normal "You guys are the best, i'm so sorry for how i acted before but i'm so happy to have you two" You worlds break the two of them up form their heated glares, the two turn to you before Luffy starts kissing around your face as Zoro kisses your neck.

[viaviv124]

Fanfiction Commissions OPEN!!

[UPDATE REGARDING SETTING COMMISSIONS]

Hi! So I've decided i'll try selling fanfictions because why not, worth a try!

Fandoms I'll do:

Undertale 

Cult of the Lamb

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

Danganronpa

Heaven Officials Blessing

Captain Laserhawk

Hamilton

Super Mario

Black Butler

Dear Evan Hansen 

Be More Chill

Heathers 

Stardew Valley

Anything else i'm familiar with, just ask! 

Content I'll do:

Shipping

Angst 

Fluff

Crackfic

Hurt/Comfort

Hurt/No Comfort

Lime

Anything that isn't in my don'ts list, really. 

Content I won't do:

Proships (Pedophilia, Incest) 

Romanticised Abuse

Real People (OCs are fine, i mean primarily stuff like celebraties, youtubers etc)

Anything that makes me uncomfortable (will be discussed when necessary) 

Content that's case by case/has requirements:

Dead Dove Do Not Eat: depends if the content makes me uncomfortable or not, but generally I'm up for anything. 

Smut/NSFW: i won't post it and please do not post it either. Keep it for private use. I also won't do Non-Con, Necrophilia and other kinks and fetishes that make me uncomfortable. 

Gore: bear in mind i'm not really good at it. I'll decline if it gets too extreme for me. Please keep it out of sex.

Please remember that I always have the right to say no, regardless what the lists say.

When the commission is done I'll always ask you first before I post it. It's something I wrote for you so you also decide what's done with it. (again, except NSFW.)

Payment:

SFW: 5€ per 500 words

NSFW: 10€+ per 500 words

NSFW fics can be self determined if you want to pay the initial prize or more.

Payment will occur before I'll send you the finished fic.

Please pay via Ko-fi

I will send you drafts per paragraph once I wrote it to see if you'd like anything changed. You can change stuff up to 3 times per paragraph, afterwards there's a 1€ fee for each change. Please be specific with your prompt and with what you want. If I completely misunderstood your request please tell me and I'll rewrite without additional fees. 

Fanfiction Examples: Ao3

I will be writing whenever I can but please bear in mind that I'm very busy throughout the week. 

Feel free to ask questions whenever you have them! You can always reach me here and on my Instagram!

If you cannot afford a fanfic but want to Support me regardless, that's totally fine! Reblog and spread the word! I appreciate that just as much!

[gggoldfinch]

Genuine questions I have about my dear Swedes, and I think you're the best with the headcanons about them.

• How were they recruited?

(I wondered about that.)

• What era are they from?

(They look old-fashioned for even the 60s, they seem to have come from a much older time considering the family photo and also the outfits and the "strangeness" they have with the 60s and America.)

MY FRIEND YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE for I am the keeper of the Elder Knowledge and the Mind-Vault of Fanon (aka I've been rotting about these guys since the ikea fam was live and kicking circa 2020 and haven't let go). I am TICKLED to finally be asked about them because they are My Guys and i love writing exorbitant amounts of information about them!!!! Especially their clothes!!! Needless to say I will not be brief, so strap in 😁

(PS Tumblr ate my first draft of this after hours of research and paragraphs of writing so I had to rewrite all of the content here from memory 🥲) (PPS I used this as an excuse to talk about their clothing for 3 hours. this is the most deranged I've been in ages ! )

First off: there is no canon information regarding either of your questions. So let's just put that out there. They are tragically underdeveloped for being potentially some of the most interesting characters on the show (or maybe i'm just biased because I prefer the Commission characters lol). Basically everything we know about them is based off inferences and vague canon implications, and everything aside from that is widely-accepted fanon that we discussed way back when + my own personal headcanons (which are basically canon to me). I might have to do some deep-diving into the tumblr archives of my old blog or my mutuals for the information I'll get into here, but all of it will be stuff I either came up with myself or bore witness to the research of & agree with.

1. How were they recruited?

Generally, the accepted theory is that the brothers were recruited young, likely after some sort of event which resulted in their first kill. From what I recall, several fandom authors (myself included) have incorporated this storyline into our own work, roughly following the same theme of capable woodsmen Axel & Otto protecting Oscar and killing someone as a result, hence inviting attention from Commission recruiters who trawl the timeline for skilled individuals.

Also, I believe it is fairly accepted within the fandom that the Commission seeks out and hires people who are down on their luck or in otherwise bad circumstances, then organizes them into employment statuses from there (office workers, hitmen, etc.). I tend to think Axel & Otto were recruited first, then Oscar was roped in later on, playing into my theory that they are triplets, just separated by large periods of time-travel.

2. What era are they from?

YIPPEEE you came to the right ! person ! because actually lowkey I kinda perpetuated the headcanon that the Swedes are Victorian-Edwardian back in the day (on a prev blog). I personally hc they were born ca. 1880-ish, with their “natural” timeline falling somewhere around 1901-1910 (Edwardian period), and picked things up from different decades along the way, as is the way of time-travel. However, I know others preferred the idea that they were from ca. 1930-1950, which is also fairy plausible.

Now, time for me to be insane:

I have a copious amount of proof that they are from the early 1900's ! based on their clothing + the photograph Axel carries. It’s also worth nothing that their clothing is visibly that of working class men, which makes it slightly more difficult to research (because the working class always gets the short end of the stick). I base most of my research & beliefs on cross-examining Edwardian photographs of workmen, as well as my own knowledge of historical fashion. I won't delve that much into their culture as Swedes and the fashion implications of that, since it honestly wasn't taken seriously enough in canon to be visible past Otto's haircut.

Proof in their regular clothing:

Trousers: Otto’s high-waisted trousers & suspenders are Edwardian, down to the very patterning. Oscar’s too, to a less obvious extent. It’s also worth noting that according to bts images, Axel also wears suspenders. His pants with the laces at the shins are baffling though...

Shirts: Oscar's turtleneck isn't not Edwardian; men have been wearing collared knit shirts like that as winter wear for a long time. Otto's green shirt, though it has those odd clasps, is somewhat reminiscent of arrow collar shirts worn in the Edwardian period. I have also found proof of three-button wool undershirts similar in style to Axel's henley, though these were more popular towards the 20's

Shoes: While Otto and Oscar's steel-toed boots weren't invented until the 1930's, Axel's boots are at least somewhat more reminiscent of those worn by workmen in the 10's. Though, the side zip and weird flap are… not.

Outerwear: Axel's blue vest is more akin to a double-breasted waistcoat, though it doesn't have lapels and the buttons are too large; it is... an outlier. Likewise, his canvas duster has a zipper and no lapels, and the pattern cut of it makes me think it's fairly modern, just like Oscar's canvas/corduroy jacket which is practically a Carhartt. Oscar's vest is baffling bc it looks different in every shot of it I analyze. Otto's trench coat is the oldest style. (Fun fact, the modern zipper was invented by a Swede in 1913)

Misc: The union suit was popularized in the 1860's (as women's wear, actually!), so Otto's wearing of it would be believable for the period. All their clothes are patched up, implying years of wear and tear.

Misc Pt 2; Weaponry: Though ofc I'm a gun girl, I have already spent 3 hours writing about clothes and cannot make myself research weird weapons. So if you're interested in their guns, PLEASE read this post by my old fandom pal!!! It's much a more intelligent and in-depth analysis than I can manage rn, and also discusses the context of weaponry within the Commission.

Proof in the photograph:

They're really a ragtag crew, which makes it hard to date any of their garments. Here's some things I've noted though:

Headwear: Newsboy caps (which are what Oscar and Axel are wearing) were at their peak around the late 1910s, especially with working class men. Otto's hat looks like it could be an oilskin fisherman's hat, which were popular in 1880s America, though his looks more like the later 1950's design of the hat. Additionally, workmen in the Edwardian period often wore neckerchiefs, not unlike what Oscar wears around his neck in the photo.

Shirts: Oscar appears to be wearing another knit sweater. Axel's blue shirt appears to me to have a band collar, which was a style popular in the 10's (from what I can tell one of Otto's shirts also has a band collar). Beneath that, his undershirt (likely linen) has a string closure, which was popular even earlier than the Victorian era

The Woman (mother? grandmother?): Historically, older women tended to wear headscarves/ head coverings. The style of her dress/smock/apron is hard to determine because of its concealment beneath her cardigan. She's got a sick rifle tho

Misc: Oscar's workman's gloves aren't inaccurate; leather gloves like that were worn in the Victorian era. So have leather belts. Like I said earlier, from what I can tell from my cursory search (after sifting thru dubious "Viking" hairstyles), Otto is sporting a fairly historically/culturally accurate he-man haircut from the Nordic area. Oscar's hair is the second-most historically relevant, as most men in the Victorian/Edwardian era had short, groomed hairstyles (though perhaps his is a little messier than usual). Axel is the outlier here with a modern slick-back.

ANYWAYYYYYYYYY

yeah. yeah. if you couldn't tell I am. fucking insane ? about them ?

since you're still here, you survived this long, have some bts stuff I dragged from the trenches:

[anulithots]

ok so i'm a bit curious

why does anuli hate faerself, and how does faer happiness cause harm to others? i've seen some posts about faer and fae is so interesting!!! if the reason is a spoiler for your wip i completely understand!!!! fae is my favorite <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASKKKKKKK! <3 <3

I think spoilers are better than trailers, shrugs SO YES I SHALL INFODUMP!! (Also most of this is backstory and I'll eventually get to the present day plot... aka: Anuli's insane shenanigans in an effort to rewrite faerself.)

("ANULI GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE GETTING FANART AND BEING A FAVORITE!!!"

... ignore faer reaction.)

Anuli is a houseplant, and given that fae's outside and permanently separated (fae doesn't remember how and I don't want to write it... it was in previous drafts, and I wasn't feeling it.), the elders of the Unseen deemed faer as condemned pretty much immediately, no whole 'evaluation period' like with other fairies (it's a whole process that's still pretty much inescapable when someone important suspects a fairy, but since the process is complicated the elders can use the excuse that they give the condemned/fallen fairies plenty of chances.)

So while all that happens in the background -Anuli's never that aware of the worldbuilding... or the world in general - Anuli's tethered to a 'fence' near Kamari's tree, (The elders wanted to condemn them both, so they placed Anuli near Kamari... meanwhile found family ensues). Anuli spends faer day daydreaming, telling stories, and hoping that Kamari stays forever and STOPS LEAVING.

Anuli gets both understimulated (can't get faer ideas out that much and this causes faer feelings to build up) and overstimulated (faer tether is really itchy to faer and without anyone around to distract faer from it, the tether bothers faer) when Kamari leaves, which causes faer to do everything under the sun to stay happy and pleasant. Anuli feels everything so strongly: happiness, distress, boredom, and fae often gets overwhelmed by them.

To deal with said emotions, fae makes stories to process them, and its happy endings fae clings to the most, and it's happy endings fae has a difficult time with.

All that's to say, one day Kamari leaves for a little longer than usual, and Anuli gets sooo upset at everything that fae tears off faer tether and goes to search for Kamari.

One whole arc I still have to write later, in which Kamari's entire life implodes, and the platonic ship implodes, and Anuli's safe place implodes, and Anuli is effectively a fallen fairy and...

Whenever Anuli is happy, fae makes some sort of mistake. Mistakes cause pain to others, ruin thier happy endings. Happy endings are what Anuli struggles with, so the story must not want faer to have one. What sort of character can't have a happy ending, what sort of character hurts others and deserves to suffer?

Villains, of course.

And because Anuli processes all faer thoughts and feelings through stories, fae puts faerself in this box, and justifies it because every. single. time. fae's happy fae makes some sort of mistake and spirals right afterwards. Every. single. time. fae's happy then Kamari suffers (fae isn't exactly wrong here...) and it's awful and there's so many icky emotions that Anuli cannot handle. Every. single. time. fae's happy Anuli re-realizes that everyone would be better off if fae wasn't.

So fae tries not to be. (fae wants it so bad)

Fae repeats the whole 'ripping off tether' situation, Kamari's distress afterwards, over and over and over again, constantly stews in that regret, over and over and over and over.

Fae deserves it. All that self-caused suffering and little self-destructive behaviors. It's a good thing, then not only will no one else have to suffer, but faer sensitive soul won't have to deal with the pain

TL;DR: it's a safety mechanism so faer past doesn't repeat itself (it always does).

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE ASKKK!!!!! KKFDSF I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY LITTLE BEAN

[skyscratch-wc]

The Skyfall AU Masterpost

This post will be an archive of sorts for the information posts for the Skyfall AU.

The goal of this AU is to hammer out a solid timeline for warrior cats, emphasize the downfall of Skyclan and the aftermath as key drivers in the plot, and better flesh out the characters and clan culture(s)! Additionally, I hope to address some of the more problematic elements of the canon text to make a narrative that is more satisfying and lives up to the potential the warriors world has. I also want to pin down a setting (at the moment I am leaning towards SW Scotland) for the books in order to make the names and environment consistent and accurate.

This AU will focus primarily on the the time frame from the fall of Skyclan to the end of OotS, since those are the books I read as a kid/teenager and are the books I have the best grasp of. I stopped reading the series consistently several years ago, but have re-read TPB recently. As such, I probably won't do much work on anything post-The Last Hope. Perhaps later, but certainly not anytime soon.

I hope to tackle DotC at some point, since I got about halfway through that arc before stopping reading the books.

This project is roughly broken into a few categories that are subject to change:

History of the Clans and Timeline Work:

Timeline from The Skyfall to Modern Day [DRAFT]

Clan Culture:

Skyclan's Cultural Evolution

Cats of the Gorge: A Full Summary

Clan Ranks and Structure

Ceremonies and Rituals

Shadowclan After Brokenstar

Naming Conventions in the Clans

Crafting

Collecting and Trade

Plot:

Skyclan's Downfall

Thunderclan Civil War (aka The Skyblood Conflict)

Disbanding of Skyclan

Characterization:

Goldenheart (SF Tigerheart)

Brokenstar

Tallstar

Peatstar (Onestar)

Geography and Ecosystems:

Flora and Fauna of SW Scotland

Allegiances:

Into the Wild: Thunderclan

This AU is inspired not only by the canonical warriors books that I read as a kid/teen but also by the work of @bonefall and @cryptidclaw, both blogs I absolutely love reading through because the ideas in their respective AUs/rewrites are superb and get the creative juices flowing. In particular, I plan on using the clanmew language system developed by bonefall and @troutfur and drawing from the clan culture bonefall has numerous posts about.

[seth-burroughs]

The Rain Code x Warriors au no one asked for nor will receive an explanation for

What's up I'm still doing bad and feel my last year's mystery stress sickness is coming back and none of my drafts are anywhere remotely close to getting finished anytime soon because of that how are you are you interested in cat

(picked the TPB timeline because it makes the most sense and has the most fitting characters, but I might cheat or bend it a little, we'll see)

Yuma Kokohead -> Rusty/Firestar

Main boy :) because of course he is. Yuma's now an orange cat. Firestar was the name of Number One, and Rusty (canonically Fire's old house cat name, I'm not calling them kittypets I'm sorry) was the name of the trainee he very politely borrowed his identity for.

Makoto Kagutsuchi -> Scourge

In wc canon, Scourge is also Firestar's half-brother (but they don't ever knooow) and they both kill each other + he's canonically stated to be VERY short like one of the smallest cats in the series. After the cloning, Makoscourge painted his fur completely black except for a one white paw (for the aesthetics. or maybe I'll just give Fire a white paw as well, kinda like Yuma's and Makoto's lil ahoges), started wearing the "OwO" mask, the dog tooth studded shrimp color collar, the fucking blood dyed amv bangs, the dog tooth reinforced claws........ The former CEO took him to hot topic for the first time in his life and he was fucking MESMERIZED none of them knew what they have brought upon themselves by this single act. He is a very silly man, lost in the whimsy. When his mask gets pulled off in the Mystery Labirynth, his face is just not dyed at all and it's just ginger with green eyes just like Rusty's/Firestar's/Yuma's/whatever.

Shinigami -> Spottedleaf

In canon, Spottedleaf does infamously end up haunting Firestar's dreams as a ghost to send him cryptic visions and furiously make out with him in front of his pregnant wife, he did have a crush on her before she died and I'm pretty sure she was retconned into reciprocating it was real bad and then they double killed her so Fire won't have to choose between her and his wife in heaven it was REAL bad uhh. I still like her though. I can get you out of the narrative girl just take my hand.... She can be the weirdgirl incarnate she was always meant to be. I wanted to say something else but then I realized holy shit I'm just tweaking her into Bonefall rewrite Spottedleaf am I... What can I say it IS peak Spottedleaf.

Yomi Hellsmile -> Tigerstar

Also extremely obvious. He is evil and has immaculate sexual tension between the protag whoops sorry I forgot literally only me and like 2 other people here ship Yuma and Yomi uhh anyway. While it does fit I'm a little dissapointed that Yomi/Tigerstar is gonna be losing so much of his cringe charm..... Like, say goodbye to deeply unserious insecure prettyboy toothpick Yaoi with silly little insults such as "umbrella sewing machine man operating hand hook car table" and how do I even describe all of this in less than 3 paragraphs. Say hello to broad-shouldered muscular extremely intimidating 100% serious and competent fascist built like a fucking brick shithouse with very broad-shoulders that doesn't need a henchman boytoy to handle all his numerous murders, have I mentioned his massive fucking broad shoulders, Firestar sure did do that a lot. It's like, where's the fun..... Whatever.... I guess...........😔😔😔

Martina Electro -> Leopardstar

Now for an assigned role I'm way more cool with >:)))) for an outrageously long while I had trouble with whether Martina should be Sasha or Goldenflower, fool I was, until I remembered Leopardstar fucking exists. She is literally perfect like I cannot state this enough. AND canonically she was later retconned to have feelings for Tigerstar but I hate to acknowledge it how dare you massacre Lep like that. She can still be his gf alongside vice director though, she's just engaging in acts of deceit whilst putting opioids in his food and trying her darndest to convince herself she's actually 100% in control of the situation before she's dragged to the cube dimension and has a brief "are we the baddies" moment. I don't think she still resigns from being a peacekeeper though Leopardstar 100% would take that fucking promotion the moment she's offered it and a year later when she' done feeling guilty regresses back into being a violent asshole she has learned NOTHING❤️

Fake/Hitman Zilch -> Darkstripe

So many dissapointments happening here sigh..... This one was obvious and honestly the only valid option for FZilch aside from maybe Nightwhisper or Blackfoot? Anyway, the downsides: one, Darkstripe will never be as cool as fake Zilch he thrives on being a cringe mistreated lickspittle. Two, he's definitely not one of Tigerstar's "closest advisors (🏳️‍🌈)" whilst Dark is pretty obsessed Tiger does not give a shit and considers him a looooooser boooo lameee fuck you *canonically swats him away with his tail that one scene*. But, I mean, at least the toxic yaoi became an entire new category of toxic.

Swank Catsonell -> Brokenstar

Pure vibes. It just fits. He employs small children and makes them fight to the death in his office for glory

Seth Burroughs -> Longtail

In canon, another one of Tigerstar's lackeys that didn't know about his crimes and when he found out he immediately left. I thought he was not evil enough to be Seth at first, but it kinda fits and he does make up for it in his cringe value and being noted to be a coward, though that may have been just Fire's opinion. Also, with all the bunny Seth Burrows jokes, I'd like to mention Longtail got his eyes clawed by a rabbit so hard he went blind so do with that what you will

Guillaume Hall -> Russetfur

Aaaand this is where I started having trouble with the remaining peacekeepers. Eventually I settled on Russetfur & Blackfoot/Blackstar for Guillaume and Dominic, because I like this danger duo I and some of the fandom completely made up about them. It's okay, the authors don't know you like we do...... While Blackstar did have a higher rank and Russet was his deputy, I do think she still had at least an equal amount of power as him, they're buddies pair bonded for life Blackstar is nodding respectfully to whatever incomprehensible wisdom she's sharing

Dominic Fulltank -> Blackfoot/star

In canon, started out as a murderous henchman of two major equally murderous evil dictators, before they both died and he finally got that boss promotion he always wanted, then he got ruined by the, you guessed it, retcons, but I don't like to be reminded of his atrocity of a novella. I always imagined Blackstar as like, unbelievably jacked holy shit the muscles on that cat, (and honestly most of the fandom does too so. lmao) and he does indeed canonically unflinchingly do the dirty work of all his bosses such as killing and maiming and destroying an

You get the point. He serious'd. Darkstripe wishes he could be him. And I'm pretty sure that was even canonically implied in the sixth book lmaooooooooo. Loser <3

Dr. Huesca -> um. Goosefeather?

The looks definitely fit, Dr. Huesca indeed bears striking resemblance to that tortured feline. However, while sometimes an asshole, Goose is definitely not evil... But he could be. He deserves to be. As a treat. Also: old man pride

Kurumi Wendy -> Cinderpaw/pelt

Easy, get Cinder'd idiot. They even have a pretty similiar energy too, I feel. This is where I got a bit tired, uhh...It's 11pm. Anyway I love Cinder and I love Kurumi say anything bad about them and I'll start scream crying on the floor

Halara Nightmare -> Yellowfang

Halara gets the old beam. They're now in their fucking 60s or something perhaps 70s. Yellowfang, on the other hand, gets the non-binary spec beam. She already gave off massive butch vibes in canon already, whatever. I don't think I can uhh in short terms explain Yellowfang's whole deal rn but the gist of it she's a very snarky grandma figure to Fire that gradually warmed up to him while she was- my cat vomited. While he was assigned to take care of her while she was taken prisoner into ThunderClan camp. Her personality's pretty funky. And she does seem cool enough in order to deserve to be Halara Nightmare.

Desuhiko Thunderbolt -> Graystripe

I think I'm taking a break and coming back to this tomorrow actually after all. Hello this is tomorrow Jasper. In canon, Graystripe is Fire's silly goofy boybestie when they're young, then he starts secretly dating Silverstream - hold on i can't fuvking take tjis im making myself hot cocoa again bye. Ok it's done let's see if that makes me feel something. As I was saying he's dating this cat and she's from a rival Clan so that's illegal forbidden love and then she dies during childbirth and he leaves his own Clan for a while to raise their babies there but then he gets exiled and goes back to his own and then his kids almost get publically executed for being half-clan so he and his buddies rescue them. And then he gets abducted by humans and meets this new gal called Millie and they start dating and then she gives birth to his new babies and then a tree falls on one of them. I'm pretty sure Fire was also pretty gay for that guy. Uh, anyway. I think he fits the bill because of his goofy charm but also it's pretty disturbing to imagine any iteration of Desuhiko actually getting bitches

Fubuki Clockford -> um. uh. Silverstream?

Silverstream, in canon, is the only daughter of Crookedstar, the leader of RiverClan, and is (implied to not having a problem with) getting various privileges because of this. Fits with Fubuki's rich timelord parents, plus light blue aesthetic, and a few other things which are hard to articulate. Only thing is that she's generally way more headstrong and impulsive than Fubuki showed to be, could "bend her father to her will with little effort", and disrespects the law if it's stupid to her which, queen shit. I think she'll play a lot of little pranks with her time powers, and devote her free time/time with YumaRusty when he's accused of terrorism crimes (but that's just unrestrained summer fun anyway) to absolutely decimate any peacekeepers they come across with some looney tunes shit

Vivia Twilight -> I'll be honest I have no fucking idea

Zero fucking idea. Literally NOBODY in this arc fits for the 5D chess of a character Vivia is. I'm not even sure if in any of the books. Help me. But also I don't really care because I don't even like Vivia at all anyway he freaks me out get him away from me.

Yakou Furio -> Bluestar?

Protag mentor figure except Bluestar is actually doing a good job at that until she loses her marbles after her mid-arc torment gauntlet and has a corruption arc until she drowns and gets healed of all her issues momentarily before fucking dying. She has a dead husband, dead mom, dead sister, dead baby, dead deputy, dead deputy #2, dead bestie, holy shit that's a lot of motives for suicidemurdering Huesgoose. Btw Goose was her weird voice of god hearing uncle in canon (and he was also dead) but I'm probably taking it out unless. Anyway she's kinda too good for Yakou but. They're also both blue like that is a blue cat

And for some side characters, keyword some:

Aiko -> Littlepaw/cloud

Aetheria's now not an all girls school anymore sorry I cannot do this guys. Littlecloud was Cinder's/Kurumi's good buddy and I like their friendship. Unfortunately, you know what that means.

Karen -> Swiftpaw

Originally was supposed to have Aiko's place before I remembered Little exists. In canon his most notable moment was dying brutally, which I mean also fits the Karen quota. Plus, while not an asshole per se he does have a more fiery/overall angry personality and he did try to impulsively take on a pack of dogs to prove himself and fucking died, if under enough pressure I'm pretty sure he could smash Aiko's/Littlepaw's head in with a brick too👍👍

Yoshiko, Waruna, Kurane -> Brackenpaw/fur, Thornpaw/claw, Brightpaw/heart?

Siblings in canon and two of them are guys so no murderous yuri I guess :(( But I mean I don't have to follow canon to a T anyway lmao so we'll see. In canon, basically the other three remaining apprentices along with Swiftpaw and the ashfern siblings, plus they do function as a trio via just being sibs. Plus some notes from the books: Cinder is the fourth sibling. Brightpaw follows Swiftpaw in his quest to slay the doggy and while he dies she survives but gets her eyeball and half of her entire face's fur torn off.

Real Zilch -> Redtail

He's very dead. Very, very dead. His most iconic moment was dying abruptly and tragically via murder rip in rest

Kei Colan -> Snowkit

He is a child. That's a little boy

Snowkit, signing furiously: MY MAMA GOT FRAMED AND IS GOING TO BE PUBLICALLY EXECUTED BY THE PEACEKEEPERS IF NOTHING IS DONE PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE. HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Yellowfang, signing back in swagful motions: and how much cash does your mama have on her currently

Jiei Colan -> Speckletail

Snowkit's very old mama. Looks like she could kill you but genuinely does not have a body count. Yet.

Ramen Stand Owner -> Ravenpaw

Ravenpaw in canon hit the bricks and ran away from the Clans due to being in danger there, and lived out the rest of his days on a farm with his cowboy boyfriend Barley mostly free of drama. I'd say that fits lmao. We can make his old name Rusty, not a problem.

Margulaw -> Pinestar

90 year old voice "yeah so uhh my fucking son grew up to be a dictator now. When he was a newborn ghosts were yelling at me to kill him because he'll grow up to be a bad man otherwise and of course like any sane kanaiwardian father I said "fuck that" and had to leave ma' family behind run away from the company so the demons would shut up. And y'know little buddy... Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I just can't help but. Y'know. Anyway. Sigh."

Do you get my vision did that sound comprehensible