#because i was weirded out when my teacher came to me and ripped out my worries and it was funny to me because he was right

[yoonyia]

accidently instilled a god complex into someone

woopsies

my therapy is failing

[kavehater]

GUYS WTH DOES A MID ATLANTIC ACCENT SOUND LIKE ?!?!!

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

random percy headcanons:

wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.

literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck

his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)

he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it

will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs

the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.

he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it

percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao

back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone

has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on

weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like

shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao

bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺

can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao

gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.

movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(

percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake

he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it

has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks

grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic

has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.

he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao

he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence

called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week

the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured

has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him

he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.

he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class

currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!

its his birthday<3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for lieing to my mom for 6 years about a guy I dated?

🤐🇮🇪 <- so I notice me. This sounds bad but all things considered, i think I'm justified at least.

Tw for domestic abuse, physical abuse, fighting and non-explicit mentions of many other forms of abuse.

So in 7th grade grade I (12/13f at the time) was dating a guy named Jay(13/14m at the time)(not his real name and we were in the same grade) for about three months. I had a crush on him for years before we dated so I was ecstatic when he finally asked me out. Looking back now at 22, I can see he pitied me as i was very unpopular and no one wanted to be around me due to the fact I was very nerdy and very autisitc(I have a mental disability). He used me for sexual things and it wasn't super healthy but I was just happy to be getting attention as neither my school nor home life was safe from abuse/bullying.

Towards the end of those three months, an incident occured. Me and Jay were working on a mutural computer lab project that should of only tooken a week but the day we were set to start, jay had iss (in-school suspension. I don't know why). I needed his choice for a song because the project couldn't start without choosing it and he wasn't texting me and was being petty and whiny about it. Finally he picked some pop 2010s song and I got started. He was in the suspension for half the week so I was the one who did a majority of the project.

When he finally came back, he was being demanding and a jerk and I said fine, I'll do my own project and you can do yours, I wanted to do firework by katy perry anyway. He then demanded my part of the project since I wasn't doing that song anymore and I told him no and when he demanded it again, I deleted it infornt of him. Typical preteen arguments right? Well he slapped me. In front of all of his laughing friends. He'd never done that before and even though I had previous experience with physical abuse(a few instances with my dad but my mom didn't see it till much later after this incident. This is important.), never from a partner.

I don't remember too much as I saw red and reacted before I could think but I do remember ripping him out of his chair, throwing him on the floor and punching him in the chest and face a few times while his friends cheered me on in surprise. I was an average height but underweight and he was both taller than me and almost 300 lbs but it felt so easy. Once I was done I got up, told the teacher I was doing it on my own, aced the project while he failed and none of my bullies ever tried to physically fight me again. I went from nerdy shy weird pushover girl to scary strong weird girl and I'm ok with that. He hit first.

Even though we eventually broke up, we made up and it was something we joked about together as i didn't realize how serious that was at the time. But my mom did realize how serious it was and tried to explain to me how bad that was, that I should never let a partner hit me and she never wanted to see me talking to him again. She was being responsible but I was 13 and riding off the excitement of showing a guy I liked what for that we dated again not a month after we broke up. Except this time I wasn't dating Jay Lastname, I was dating "Sean mcduffin" or at least that's what i called him around family and because my mom never saw or met jay, she didnt recognize sean.

Our second time around only lasted another three months before we broke up and we're friends all through the rest of our school years, never more, but my mom still called him Sean because we'll.. I told her that was Sean and I couldn't back out now. I'm gonna shift gears for a second so stick with me.

I had gone through two extremely abusive relationships back to back from one in sophomore year (sexual and emotional abuse) and one in senior year (sexual, physical, religious and emotional abuse) and my mom didn't learn until a year later after I graduated. After my mom learned about it and the extent of the abuse with my father, she helped me heal and eventually started asking questions about the relationships and my dad and I answered her as were the closest weve ever been. She off handedly compared the one in senior year to the incident with Jay and then said how happy i seemed with Sean right after made her relax and hope i wouldnt be in another abusive relationship and it hadn't hurt me too badly.

I then realized I had never explicitly told her Jay and Sean were the same person and I had lied to her when I said they weren't (she had suspicions but never proof and trusted me). So I told her they were the same person and she got this very defeated look on her face. I apologized as I realized that was kinda shitty of me because my mom was just trying to protect me but I can also see why a 13 yr old who grew up in parental abuse wouldn't nessesarily take domestic abuse seriously. She just signed and said she wishes I was honest and I shouldn't of lied about it because it was serious. I explained my side but we eventually just moved on to talk further into our initial topic and she's not brought it up since.

I can see where I was the little 13 yr old asshole but I can also see why I wouldn't of taken the lie as seriously as I should due to my history. He never hit or hurt me again and I never heard of him doing it again so I guess i desuaded him from a life of abuse. Idk. Was I the asshole? Me and him don't talk anymore and since getting therapy, I've realized what a shitty person he was to me before, during and after our small relationship.

(small context: we were school friends only, he never really came over to my house or met my family more than once the second time we dated and I didn't talk about him as much after the second break up due to my focus on friends shifting from school friends to my girl scout troop. We were inseparable in school but outside of it, we rarely spoke.)

What are these acronyms?

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’m thinking I might do a Taskmaster rewatch. It’s now about 3 months before I go off the UK for two weeks, which still doesn’t feel like a real thing that’s going to actually happen. But I’ve been thinking about how weird it is that I’m flying across an entire ocean because I happened to come across something on YouTube four years ago.

That’s how it started. Not because of the pandemic. It was early March 2020 when I was at my grandparents’ house out East, upstairs in their guest bedroom at about 9 PM, clicking through YouTube, and came across Taskmaster s01e01. I thought, that’s interesting. I like British comedy, by which I mean the old shows my dad had on DVD boxsets so I watched them over and over as a kid (Yes Minister, Flying Circus, Ripping Yarns, Blackadder, Mr. Bean, Fawlty Towers, a few others), the greatest TV show in the entire world called The Thick of It, a few tapes and CDs that my dad used to play in the car a lot (Billy Connolly, Beyond the Fringe, The Good Show), all of Douglas Adams’ books, a few other scattered TV shows I’d watched over the years because my dad said they were good (Peep Show, The Inbetweeners), and a whole bunch of Radio 4 programs. But I didn’t recognize this. This one of those TV panel shows they have there. Like QI, the show I hate because it took Sandi Toksvig away from The News Quiz. But surely that doesn’t mean all TV panel shows are bad. I wonder what this one is?

I clicked on it, and it had a man I vaguely recognized as the teacher in The Inbetweeners, and six other people I did not recognize at all. They were doing things I did not understand. I couldn’t tell how serious they were about anything whatsoever. I couldn’t figure out why it was funny. What are they doing? Why have they brought in items? Who are these people? I was intrigued.

And then Romesh Ranganathan threw a watermelon on the ground and my life hasn’t been the same since. That’s what it was. That’s the moment it clicked for me, and I instantly understood everything about why Taskmaster is funny. I had to call an apology to where my mother and grandparents were sitting downstairs, because sound travels easily in that house and I could not stop laughing. I couldn’t stifle the sound, I couldn’t get my breath. Romesh Ranganathan throwing a watermelon on the ground was the funniest thing I’d ever seen. I needed to see all of it. I needed to see every episode of this and also every other thing that any of these people have ever done. It’s a total coincidence that the world happened to end about a week later so I had time to actually do that.

The world ended, the tournaments I was supposed to get home to coach got canceled, so my trip out East got extended, I watched the rest of Taskmaster. Every episode that had aired as of then, which was up to the end of season 9. I got to the end and couldn’t just be done with all those people, so I Googled my favourites to see what else they’d done. Made a list of what shows came up the most often. Then spent about a year watching every episode of every show on that list, because the world had ended and I had nothing else to do. Would I Lie to You, 8 Out of 10 Cats, Catsdown, Mock the Week, Big Fat Quizzes, QI, The Last Leg. Never Mind the Buzzcocks, though I did start that one from the beginning of the Simon Amstell era, didn’t watch it from the beginning. But I watched every single episode (that had been released as of then) of the others. As I went along, I found new favourite people, and looked up things they’d done, and added those things to my list. Watched/read/listened to those things too. Shorter panel shows, sitcoms, books. The Mash Report and New World Order, of course. I watched every episode of UK Roast Battle and I'm pretty ashamed of it but probably still not as ashamed as I should be. Had a big WILTY phase during which I also re-watched Peep Show, watched everything else Mitchell and Webb have ever done for good measure, watched every episode of Not Going Out and that sketch show Lee Mack did before it, read both Lee Mack and David Mitchell's autobiographies. I watched every single episode of Russell Howard’s Good News and The Russell Howard Hour. There were so many of them. Why did I do that?

Realized it was weird that I loved The Thick of It and Veep and In the Loop so much but had never sought out other Armando Iannucci things (besides that Death of Stalin movie that I saw in the cinema when it came out). Fixed that, went chronologically through all Iannucci's stuff starting with On The Hour/The Day Today. While I was at it, re-watched The Thick of It, also re-watched all those other Britcom shows I'd loved as a kid. Re-watched The Inbetweeners.

Had a phase of being obsessed with Noel Fielding when I watched Buzzcocks. Also watched The IT Crowd, Nathan Barley, Garth Marenghi, The Mighty Boosh, even Luxury Comedy. Learned some more stuff about Noel Fielding, and now regret that phase. But I still think Nathan Barley and Garth Marenghi are masterpieces (the latter didn't even feature Noel Fielding, it just got rolled in with the others due to other crossover people).

At first I excitedly told my friends all about this, but they did not care, and my best friend started getting actively annoyed about it, so I went looking for a place where I could put my Britcom-related thoughts and still have friends when this is all over. I created a Tumblr account in August 2020. It asked me what I wanted my name to be. I thought of a joke Sean Lock made on 8 Out of 10 Cats once, about how people should tell the meerkats that everything’s fine. I went with that.

After the first year, I figured I had a good grounding in long-running TV shows, and could expand my repertoire a bit. I downloaded all 125 hours of the old Russell Howard and Jon Richardson BBC 6 Music radio show, listened to those, confronted some stuff about how shortly before the pandemic I’d had to move out from living with a friend because my OCD-like tendencies (I can’t technically say “my OCD” because I was diagnosed with OCD as a child but then told as a teenager that it was probably a misdiagnosis and those were actually autism symptoms, but it comes to the same thing, it’s just semantics and doesn’t matter) made me so bad at sharing space with other people, watched that documentary he made, drank a bunch of whiskey and had one or two emotions. It was fine. I did Hypothetical next to bring the mood back up. Made a few incoherently furious Tumblr posts when Russell Howard brought on Jordan Peterson and ruined my ability to enjoy any of his work anymore (Russell Howard's work, that is, I didn't enjoy Peterson's work to begin with).

In 2022, the world started to exist again, and I had to do some in-person work placements (as opposed to the last two years, which I’d spent doing my very easy work-from-home editing job that left lots of time for panel shows), and I realized that audio comedy is a lot easier to take with me on a commute than TV comedy. I listened to all 217 hours of the original run of The Bugle. Then took a break for a few months before listening to the reboot, because getting to the end of the original run made me so genuinely sad that I needed some time to get used to the idea that it would become a different thing, before I could actually enjoy that other thing. Which I now enjoy very much. Listened to all of Zaltzman and Oliver's other things, of course. Got into Chris Addison's old Radio 4 stuff off the back of The Department. Found a bunch of other people's Radio 4 stuff in the same spot.

Saw Nish Kumar live twice within a few months, traveling to New York City and then Montreal for it. One time he looked at me and laughed at my reaction to a joke and asked me a question, and I briefly knew how it must have felt to be those people who fainted at Beatles concerts back in the day, due to being overwhelmed by proximity to their hero (though it's not exactly the same situation, hopefully Nish Kumar has beaten fewer women than John Lennon).

Got into Kitson in mid-2022. Bought all his stuff on Bandcamp and Vimeo, wanted more, scoured the internet because I was promised that bootlegs existed, couldn’t find them, messaged a guy on a comedy forum to see what he had, got much, much more than I could possibly have hoped for (including, incredibly, a spare room where I’m staying in London this summer). Bought all David O’Doherty’s stuff off Bandcamp. Got a NextUp subscription. Got so into stand-up that panel shows started to seem over-edited and less enjoyable by comparison. Watched all of Stewart Lee’s TV shows and stand-up DVDs within a couple of weeks. Got really really into Josie Long. Spent a fair bit of 2023 meticulously going through a hodge-podge collection of old Kitson recordings, carbon dating them from the tiniest detail so I could accurately record their date and venue on my spreadsheet and in the file name. Developed a deep obsession with a thing called the Chocolate Milk Gang. Got into a Beautiful Mind-style need to unravel all the mysteries of this one video featuring the Chocolate Milk Gang and a cow from Edinburgh 2003. Decided that Stuart Goldsmith is the best interviewer I’ve ever heard. Once accidentally ended up in a brief email correspondence with Stuart Goldsmith and had to take about six months off from listening to his podcast because I was so embarrassed about it. Listened to all Mark Watson's old radio shows and then did all of No More Jockeys, decided Mark Watson is probably the best person in the world, learned a few more things about him, decided he's maybe actually not. Memorized all the Perrier Award winners since 1999, because that seemed worth doing. Saw Grace Petrie live and managed to not cry until the final song. Went to coach the national championships in 2023, felt sad about how disconnected I'd become from the sport that was my whole life for years, ended up spending much of the weekend sitting in an empty hallway listening to Gavin Osborn songs. Accosted Josie Long in the streets of Montreal and made her sign a poster from 2011.

Went back and watched/listened to some earlier stuff. Rounded out my previous journey through the TV shows/movie of Alan Partridge with the specials and audiobooks and podcast. Did all of Lee and Herring in about two weeks. Listened to Do The Right Thing mostly in an empty classroom on breaks at my new autism therapy job, fell briefly in love with Danielle Ward.

Then 2024 arrived and that was mostly John Robins for a few months. Became an XFM/Radio X retro one-r, accidentally got a video of John Robins taken off YouTube and immediately wanted to hide under my bed forever. Booked a trip to London and Edinburgh for summer 2024.

All of this happened because I happened to click on s01e01 of Taskmaster in early March 2020. I’m flying across an ocean. And what I really wanted, to begin with, was more context for Taskmaster. I thought it was the funniest thing I’d ever seen, and I think everything is better in context, so I wanted to see these people do other things, get as much context as I possibly could so I could get all the little in-jokes on Taskmaster.

When I first watched Taskmaster, only nine seasons were out. Across those nine seasons that I watched in the first go, I only saw six people I recognized. Greg Davies, and later, Joe Thomas, from The Inbetweeners. Sally Phillips, from Veep. Jo Brand, whom I knew from some of my dad's old British stand-up comedy tapes. Hugh Dennis, as I’d been listening to The Now Show for years. And Nish Kumar, as I’d been listening to The News Quiz for years. I’d never actually seen Nish before getting to Taskmaster season 5, and was shocked the first time I watched s05e01, because based on hearing him on the radio all those times, I’d assumed Nish Kumar was about 55 years old. Since then I’ve realized that a few of the people I saw in those first nine Taskmaster seasons were actually people I’d heard before on The News Quiz, but I didn’t make those connections at the time. Nish was the only one I’d heard enough times on The News Quiz to immediately realize that this was the same person as the one on the radio. I was shocked by how young he was. And then I was shocked by how very bad at everything he was.

Also, I didn't realize until way too long after I'd finished my initial Taskmaster watch that Sara Pascoe was the radio employee in the Richard Bacon episode of The Thick of It.

Anyway, I have more context now. Quite a bit more context. Arguably too much context. Maybe more context than any one person could ever need. But I'm thinking, before I actually go to the UK on this trip that I still can't believe is going to be real, I might go through Taskmaster again, with context this time.

I've re-watched it before, of course. In those first nine seasons, I've seen every episode at least four times. I re-watched them all along with the podcast when that first came out. I re-watched the first 13 seasons with my then-girlfriend, back when we first got together, in late 2021/early 2022. But I haven't watched them all properly since then. I've re-watched sporadic episodes, but not all of them in order.

I'm thinking I'll do all of them order. With all the context. With too much context. Not on YouTube this time. I can watch it on my laptop's own video player, from the folder in the 5TB hard drive I bought specifically to house my comedy folder (currently about 2TB). That'll be a good use of my limited time on this Earth.

Here, have a video I made in the fall of 2020, putting moments from the nine seasons of Taskmaster that were out at the time to a song that I listened to a lot during early lockdown days.

[sluttyenha]

—Sir Sunghoon!

Pairing: sunghoon x reader

Warnings: Yandere , non-con , threats

Note! Here's i think my first sunghoon work?😭 Not my best work but it's something.

You could see him. You could clearly see him and his evil face , smirking. He's the reason you dreaded coming to the training center. He was your teacher. Ice skating teacher.

From the first day of his arrival , he had always had a weird vibe , he always made you uncomfortable. That is until he started doing the wrong deeds. Like talking to you inappropriately which was only the first step. He always used to talk to you like you were his friend , more of as a fwb. Like wishper in your ear about how good your body shape is , which is very creepy considering that he's your teacher and he has no rights talking about you or your body but did he care? He would always come closer to you to tell you how you should straighten your posture while putting his hand behind your back.

All started when you missed school a day and he told you to stay over so he could teach you what you missed. You stayed back with a thought of learning everything you missed .but only if you knew. You'd never stay back if you even had a hint.

He came to you with his usual cocky expression, smirking like am evil man. “come on let's first go to the land and see if you'll learn things there and then we'll proceed on ice” he said and you guys went towards the land area beside the couch. He started teaching you how to do the spins. You were trying your best when he suddenly came up behind you and held your hips making you gasp. “s-sir” gosh whenever you said that it always made him hard. “im going to jupm with you so be prepared okay?” he said pulling you closer towards his body and tightening his hold on your hips. He jumped at the count of three and woah , did it feel amazing to do the trick. But after that he didn't leave you or move back . Instead his hands started creeping towards your waist and his mouth came near your ear where he wishpered “did you enjoy trying on sexy lingeries?” which made you shook because that's what you did yesterday but you didn't tell anyone about it “excuse me? What are you talking about? And leave me” you said but he didn't budge , his hands started roaming all over your body which made you sqirm and wanting to get away asap. “i saw how hot you looked in every lingerie baby , ahh how I wish you'd wear those with me” he said making you shocked. He started putting his hand below your top and ripped it off making you scream. His hands went towards your bra and he said “scream or make noise and I'll leak pictures of you trying on those lingeries” he was definitely a perv and a psycho. But you had no choice other than obeying him. “please what did I ever do to you? Please let me go , i won't tell anyone about this , please”

He laughed at what you said. “hahaha what you ever did was tease me all along. You wear this tight clothes to impress me and i know it , but I don't like other guys staring at what's mine and definitely not in those clothes. I'm going to mark you today and show you who you belong to”

Saying that he pushed you on the couch , unclasped your bra and turns you around. Then he proceedes to take off your shorts and panties making you all naked for him. “ahh such a beautiful sight to see , you exceeded my expectations, you look even more gorgeous than i thought” He started getting out of his clothing too.at this point you started crying but you couldn't push him away because of his threat . You felt helpless whereas he felt on top of the world. He finally had you after months of stalking you and now he could do whatever he wanted to do.

His hard cock was on your entrance and it was like he was giving you a teaser. He started rubbing his tip on your core making you whimper. His lips were now on yours when he suddenly put him inside of you. It started hurting a bit but sunghoon only looked for his pleasure so he now started thrusting in you while his mouth was on your breasts. He was fucking you hard while marking you too. You moaned out a bit when he started sucking on your sweet spot making him smirk. “i knew it would make you feel good baby” but tahts not it. You were hating this and the moan came out because of the lack of control of your reactions. Your body started reacting to him too like clenching around him . But then again it wasn't your fault.

He suddenly got an idea . He put his hand around your neck , choking you a bit and came closer towards your face while telling you about his evil plan. “ahh I'm just imagining how cute you'd look with my babies inside of you hmm? You'd be a great mother and if I do breed you , you won't be able to go back home and tell your mom-dad about it . You'll have to stay with me so i help you take care of the baby because me and you both know that you don't have the heart to abort the baby , as it hasn't even done anything to you.” you knew it. You then realised how screwed and doomed you were.

[bucketspammer4life]

random punch out headcanons for the soul because eughhhhhh

i need me some inspo, INSPO!!!

- bald bull actually makes those bull sounds unintentionally, it kinda runs in his family and has been with him since his childhood

- super macho man pretends to be suprised by people telling him he looks old (even though hes dilfbaiting) and acts offended by it when he actually sees it as a good thing

- Glass Joe used to work as a receptionist in a hospital before his boxing career, And by that i mean the kind that just chews gum and wouldnt give a shit if you came in bleeding to death, minus the long nails and dangly earings

- whenever aran sees a Hippo or anything Hippo-themed he just goes "OH MY GOD KING HIPPO İS HERE!" And its become an ongoing joke within the wvba

- von kaiser prefers cold food to warm food, he just kinda likes how it tastes

- Disco kid's voice cracks a lot thanks to him going to concerts often & screaming his soul out, my man changes between 4 pitches while trying to talk to anyone

- mr sandman sometimes casually rips off his locker door when hes pissed, not "im going to murder someone" kind of pissed but "i need to throw something" kind of pissed, his locker door just turns to dust whenever someone breathes too hard on it now

- soda popinski used to make "potions" during his childhood like 99% of us, the only difference is he actually drank those

- Doc Louis once accidentally dated Mac's biology teacher, when Mac found out he lost his shit (in the meaning that hes both mad & finds it funny) but it didnt work out and now biology class for Mac is way more awkward now

- don flamenco once ate a entire pack of strawberry flavored melatonin gummies without realizing it, slept for 1 day and a half

- gabby jay has a basement full of weird stuff, going from vintage record players to an organ with 3 Disco balls for some reason

- heike sends positive good morning messages in any groupchat hes in, with the sparkly effects & flowers and stuff

- hoy quarlow can actually play the piano, he uses it to his advantage to scare people during halloween, imagine this: some sweet old man looking like a fossil is just casually approaching a piano before unleashing so much talent that every composer in their graves start crying

[garebearandnan]

LITG: The good ole days when girl chats were really good!

Season 2 | Day 1 | Part 3 | Scene 1 | Dressing Room (DR)

Note: Part 3, has over 6 scene changes: DR, lawn, kitchen, fire pit/new bombshell Priya, 3 scene choices next (includes multiple scene options; Lottie's moon celebration with the girls, pranking the boys, or spending time with LI), and the night ends with a really sweet scene with partner on the daybeds. There are a few other mini scenes if you choose to not greet Priya or another sweet scene by the pool when Gary when he talks about missing home if you choose pranking or moon celebration. Day 1 FB was already off to a great start with branching.

Scene 1- Dressing Room

In the dressing room, the girls are getting ready for the first night party. 

Hope: I think it will be really nice to have another girl in the villa.

Hope: More girls, more power, right?

Lottie rolls her eyes. 

Lottie: Oh, please.

Lottie: If the situation was different, sure. But in here? 

Lottie: You know, if a girl comes in now, she'll be the hottest person any of us have ever seen, and she'll be out to get what she wants. 

Lottie: And what if she wants Noah? 

Hope’s face falls.

Hannah: Hearing you say that makes me nervous.

Hannah: I just want everyone to meet their perfect match. But what if her perfect match is the same as mine?

MC (thinking): Should we be worried about another girl coming in? 

CHOICES: a.) I’d like another girl | b.) We need to get use to it | c.) I’m going to freeze her out

a.) MC: I’d like another girl

MC: I don’t think we should be worried. The more the merrier.

MC: She’ll probably be really nice.

b) MC: We need to get use to it

MC: It's all a part of the game. Let’s just make sure we're the best at playing it.

Marisol: I agree.

c) MC: I’m going to freeze her out.

MC: I don’t want another girl to come in here.

MC: If you're coming in now, it’s to only break up one of our couples.

MC: Why would I want to be friends with someone like that?

Lottie: You’re so right.

(end choice)

Hope: It could be a guy, you know.

Hope: Maybe your perfect man is going to walk through the door, Hannah.

Hope: He’ll have glasses, and a cardigan, and a moustache, and…

Hope: What else do you like?

Hannah: Horses!

Hope: And he’s going to ride in on a horse! 

Marisol stood to spray herself with body mist. 

Marisol: I’m imagining him riding shirtless. If that happens, you won’t be the only one falling at his feet. 

Hope: You like a guy that rides horses?

Marisol: I like a guy that’s shirtless.

Lottie: My ex back in Australia was always shirtless. He was so ripped, so I didn’t complain too much, but it was a little weird.

Lottie: One time he came to pick me up for a date and he didn’t have his shirt on.

Grace: What did you say when you first saw him? 

Lottie: Nothing. I just looked at his abs and took him inside. 

Lottie: We never made our reservation.

Hannah: If he was so hot, why did you break up?

Lottie: Oh gosh, he was as thick as a brick. 

Lottie: I didn’t see it at first because I was blinded by the fanny flutters…

Hannah: The what?

Lottie: Um… it’s an Aussie thing, I guess?

Lottie: Anyway, one time we talked about going on holiday and he asked me, ‘What country is France in?’

Lottie: That’s when I knew things were going south.

MC (thinking): Lottie’s ex sounds really stupid…

CHOICES: a) I would have done the same | b) I don’t think that’s fair c) What country is France in?

a) MC: I would have done the same

MC: That’s a special level of stupid.

Lottie: I think that was when I knew we had to break up. 

Lottie: I couldn’t imagine going on a holiday with him complaining every time he couldn’t get Vegemite.

b) MC: I don’t think that’s fair

MC: Why didn’t you try to be understanding? Not everyone is good at geography.

Lottie: I don’t think that’s my responsibility, babe. I’d rather ditch someone than play teacher to them.

Lottie: The roleplay stuff gets really boring, after the first couple of times.

c) MC: What country is France in?

Lottie: Are you serious?

Hope: Watch our Grace. Lottie’s going to break up with you as well!

(end choice)

Lottie: We had to break up twice in the end.

Hannah: What do you mean?

Lottie: He was watching the footie when I said, ‘I think we should take time apart’...

Hannah: I’ve heard that one before.

Lottie: And then two days later he showed up at my house like nothing had happened.

Lottie: Turns out he wasn’t even paying attention to me the first time I broke up with him!

Hannah: What did you do?

Lottie: I had to break up with him again. Louder.

Lottie: Although, I almost thought about taking him back, he was that fit.

Marisol: To be honest… 

Marsol: Sounds like it ended for a good reason, to be honest.

Marisol: I could never take someone back. Could you?

MC (thinking): Have I ever taken an ex back?

CHOICES: a)No, I only give people one chance | b)No, but I wish I could | c)Yeah, I have

a) MC: No, I only give people once chance. 

Lottie: Look at you with that attitude!

Lottie: I do not want to get on the wrong side of you.

b) MC: No, but I wish I could

Marisol: That sounds like a sad story. The one that got away?

MC: Yeah. I always wished we hadn’t broken up at all.

Hope: Well I can’t think of a better way to get over someone then being in here!

c) MC: Yeah, I have.

Hannah: And it still didn't work out?

MC: I’m single and on Love Island, so…

(end choice)

Hannah: I’m worried about what it will be like here. I can’t imagine how hard breaking up will be.

Marisol: You’ll have to see them every day. That’s a lot of difficult emotions to process.

Lottie: And you have to watch them get off with someone else. That would be the hardest thing for me.

MC (thinking): How would I feel about another girl in here kissing my ex?

CHOICES:  a) I’d be raging | b)We broke up for a reason | c)Depends on the situation

a) MC: I’d be raging

MC: I don’t think I could handle seeing any of you kissing someone after I’d kissed him first.

MC: I wish I could say I was more about group happiness, but I know it would feel like a betrayal to me.

Lottie: I get you.

b) MC: We broke up for a reason

MC: I don’t own a guy just because we kissed once.

MC: If one of you would be happier with him than I would, you should go ahead.

Hannah: That’s so wise.

c) MC: Depends on the situation.

MC: If we’ve just been coupled up for a day or something, I guess it’s fine. 

MC: If you steal him after we’ve been together for weeks and been to that hideaway… 

(end choice)

Lottie: I can just feel that it’s going to happen to me.

Lottie: I trust my instincts and I know one of you will end up kissing a guy I like.

Hannah: Do you think that would happen with Rocco?

Lottie: Depends how you all feel about him, I guess. I still don’t know how we’re all feeling.

Marisol: I honestly don’t know myself.

Hope: Don’t worry about it hun. 

Hope: It’s only the first day, after all. No-one’s attached yet.

Hope: Well, apart from me.

Marisol: Yeah, you and Noah seemed to have clicked straight away.

Hannah: What about you, Grace? Where’s your head at?

MC (thinking): How do I feel about my situation right now?

CHOICES: a) I’m really into Gary | b) I want to get to know someone else | c) I haven’t clicked with anyone yet

b) MC: I want to get to know someone else

** Marisol: You don’t think Gary is a good match? (not 100% sure about this response?)

c) MC: I haven’t clicked with anyone yet

** Marisol: You don’t think Gary is a good match? (not 100% sure about this response?)

a) MC: I’m really into Gary.

Marisol: Interesting… 

Marisol: I’ve been trying to keep an eye on all the boys and see if I can feel out what they’re like. 

Marisol: I think Gary’s type is someone who’s pretty chill and laid back. 

Marisol: You might be a bit much for him.

Marisol: Also, I’m pretty sure he wants someone who puts the group first.

Marisol: Does that sound like you?

MC (thinking): Am I that kind of girl?

CHOICES: a) I think so | b) I don’t think so | c)I’m not sure yet

** c) MC: I’m not sure yet ** b) MC: I don’t think so (not 100% sure about this response? don't have screenshot)

Marisol: Maybe you should chat to someone else.

a) MC: I think so.

Marisol: Maybe it will work out for you guys, then.

(end choice)

Marisol: To be fair, we’ve only just met each other. All this could change.

Lottie: It's good to know, though. I'm still not sure what I want.

Lottie: Rocco seems like a cool guy, but I'm not set on him.

Lottie: We've both given each other the look, if you know what I mean…

Lottie: But I have a feeling we're gonna clash if we spend too much time together. 

Lottie: And I noticed he might be looking elsewhere.

MC (thinking): Who is she talking about? 

Marisol: I’m not sure about Ibrahim, either.

Marisol: He’s gorgeous, but what if that means he’s never had to work for it?

Marisol: I don’t want to find out later he’s totally self-centred.

Hannah: I get the feeling there's hidden depths behind those beautiful eyes.

Hannah: It worries me that we might never get to find out more about these boys.

Hannah: If it’s a girl that comes in, we’ll have to fight for our place here.

MC (thinking): Do we need to fight for our place?

CHOICES: a) We’re a team now | b) It’s every girl for herself | c)It’s not a competition

a) MC: We’re a team now.

Lottie: Good on you, Grace.

b) MC: It’s every girl for herself.

Lottie: I don’t want to be like that. 

c) MC: It’s not a competition

Lottie: It’s literally a competition.

(end choice)

Lottie: None of us want to get screwed over by some rando that walks through the door. 

Lottie: Especially since we already know there’s going to be a recoupling.

Hannah: I’m with you on that.

Hope: I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s not make a clique.

Hope: We should be focusing on looking our best instead.

Hope: Let’s go out there looking amazing, and then all the boys will want us.

MC (thinking): Hope is right. I’ve got to get my look right if I’m going to stay in the competition.

*OUTFIT CHANGE

Lottie: You look amazing, Grace!

Lottie: If it's a new girl, she's not gonna have a chance.

Day 1 Fashion Board:

[henchy5824]

19 for ask game meme?

Ohoho! *rubs grubby paws*

This might be a little bit of an odd one, but bear with me.

So my background is in IT, and during my schooling we unsurprisingly had to write essays about various topics. Those topics were, unsurprisingly, sometimes only loosely connected to what would count as "IT". Among which was telecommunications. The essays I had to write on that were long, contrived, technical in ways I don't even want to think about anymore (or maybe I do but that's because I'm a masochistic degnereate, lol) and most of all: I was in absolute agony researching them. It were those kinds of essays that had to meet a certain word count and hit certain key points.... you know... The most unimaginable shit any teacher could possibly come up with.

But ob boy, did it make me AWARE of what radio waves are and how much shit actually works via those... which is 100%... the answer is 100% of all our modern technology runs off of that shit.

I think you can guess where I'm going with this...

Did you know that the most modern types of frequency bands we have managed to harness for our convenience are ALSO very short? At least for home applications.. So if you buy a router that boasts 60 GHz tech, it's going to work within about 10ft (3m) of unobstructed space and then the signal just farts out of existence because the wavelenght is SO SHORT. This is also the reason why 5G technology is such a big fucking deal and it has been one of the biggest innovations in that field since at least the early 2000s (if not earlier) because it is true fast broadband that is affordable for the average consumer.

The nature of how all of this stuff works is inherently fascinating.

And even though when I had to write those essays back in the day, my partner had to actively stop me from trying to chew my fingers into bloody nubs, I nevertheless had some fun recently revisiting those previously written words for reasons I will elaborate upon shortly:

Which brings me neatly to our favourite strawberry pimp! Alastor.

Seriously, NOBODY is talking about how this guy should be frequency manipulation GOD. Probably because this is kinda very niche and technical and I wouldn't expect anyone to actually sink that much though into a fictional OC character back in 2005-2010 (I only thought about that stuff because I was forced to, after all, lol).

Injecting this very real and technical mumbo jumbo with some hellish magic and you have the perfect vehicle for a whole range of cool things that could be achieved.

Including, but not limited to:

-Control computers and any device that allows inputs via radio waves. Imitating yourself as a human interface device (bluetooth/2.4GHz/5GHz wifi/etc.) so you could type and use the mouse cursor with your mind? Yes. Flipping channels on a tv without a remote like that one kid in the X-Men movie? Yes, that. Sending and recieving text and/or voice messages on your phone without having to hold it in your hands? VERY Yes. Also: VERY on brand for this magnificent bastard.

-Attack people with the various ways our squishy and inadequate nervous system runs off of electrical impulses. For example: You can make people's hearts beat unevenly if you attack the (roughly) 10 Hz range. You can also give people something akin to barotrauma using something similar only attacking certain parts of the lungs...

So when people on social media go: Oh Alastor is sooo evil and Charlie is being manipulated because she doesn't see it.... Nononono, bitches. YOU don't understand. The man is actively shying away from all the really hideous and sadistic shit. Almost all of which would be 100% invisible to Charlie. Imagine the loan sharks instead of getting ripped appart by eldritch tentacles and a giant monster man, they just....dropped because their hearts had stopped beating. Or they lost all sense of self and wandered off because they forgot what they came here for. Charlie would go: "Huh. Weird, but ok. Conflict avoided."

Of course, Alastor could probably also do something like liquify someone's eyeballs by spiking a high frequency pulse towards that and then laugh at them until they grow new ones... but that would be telling.

So whenever someone tries to pull bullshit on you like that: you pull out the frequency manipulation and how Alastor is decidedly not doing all that.

You can basically win stupid prizes by playing stupid games. Hooray!

[a-wilson-collector]

I LIVED BITCH

(cw: noncon/rape, guns, disregard for gun safety, family abuse, forced isolation, medical neglect)

wanted to save this post for until i got to a safe place, but now that i am, i can give y'all a reason why i didn't post much if at all.

its mostly because of my family.

on a scale from 1-10 (10 being the worst, 1 being the best) my mom and dad are 10, most of my dad's side of the family is like, 9.5 outside of grandma n pa. they are like an 8 or 7 depending on how pissy/petty i feel about them. my brother is like, 4. and my sister is the only one whose normal about everything so she's a 1.

the reason my mom n dad are so highly rated is because my mom would lowkey ghost me for the entire summer when school stopped, and my dad is, well, according to mom- "he never takes no as an answer."

makes me think about why i always gravitated towards noncon fanfics for wilson/maxwell. Im still working on that.

grandma n pa are 8 because my grandma defends my dad (and pretty much any violent male member of the family) and my grandpa WAVED A FUCKING LOADED GUN IN MY FACE on the day of the move. if his hand was NOT on the trigger, he could've shot me in any part of my body including my head

my brother is a 4 because he hasn't apologized for beating the shit out of me almost every day until i was 16, but he's gotten a lot better at controlling his anger.

my sister was the only one who realized that the only way she was going to stay in my life was being cautious, but also realizing why i wanted out so bad, since she went through most of this herself.

outside of that, i hid most of my art from my family because i could NOT handle the disappointment that my family would show if that their "adorable daughter" drew a guy ripping his face off, or drawing porn (tho that wasnt until years later, obviously.) thats why most of my art is violent or violent in nature. its what i grew up in. constant fights all the time. cps was called a few times but they didnt do anything outside of adding to the trauma pile

im tired and finally in a safe environment where i wont be threatened to be shipped off my dad's place, which, if that was to happen... I'd lose all of my support network, including doctors and psychiatrists. I'd be completely shut off from the outside world, including my boyfriend and friends on discord. in his mind, the internet is the reason i have such high needs, instead of, y'know, THE 'TISM.

as for my past, i have gone by "noonfish" or some variation of that on tumblr, but that was while i was stuck somewhere in the alt-right rabbit hole on yt since most of my family loves trump, which is why i nuked all of them. I am deeply ashamed of my past and i'm still working on it, i know i can be better tomorrow than i was today. If i had a nickel for every time my grandma defended a rapist, I'd have three nickels, which isnt a lot but its weird it happened with three people.

i understand if people also stop following for my previous "ties" to the alt right (i was pretty surface level, mainly memes), however i was like, what, 16? and extremely isolated to boot. Thank fuck i got anti-psychotics. i was losing my mind for YEARS due to undiagnosed schizo-affective disorder, which was in play since i was 8. I still remember the time i missed my bus going home from school in elementary school, and when my mom had me in the car, she drove into a parking space and proceeded to yell at me to stop telling the teachers because "i was scaring them" because i kept seeing shadow people in the hallways. all the doctors just assumed I was being racist or something? im not sure about that but the only thing that came out of that was me getting glasses (which, tbh i did in fact, need)

after that, it went lowkey until middle/high school, where it resurfaced again and will continue until i fucking die, so thats fun. if I didn't have schizo-affective disorder, i probably still would've fallen for the alt-right pipeline on yt when i was a child (because of unsupervised access to the internet), but at least i'd be able to make a coherent statement about it. i still hate all those people that helped make my mental illness worse to the point i thought only ohio existed for like, 6 months. shit was awful.

so yeah, thats why i've been so on n off. hope to get some art soon since its about time i should do a full render. maybe it will be two girls kissing.

[estcsy]

things about robaire in my dr .^◡^.

(LONG OVERDUE I KNOW PLS FORGIVE ME 🙏🏼)

- when all of us are taking, he gets our attention like a kindergarten teacher like he just claps twice really loud

- he is really dedicated to taking good pictures for everyone like he’s the type of person that if you ask him to take pics for you he’ll like get on the floor and everything

- he has a lot of socks with dogs on them, and smiley faces

- I watched him break a punching back once that was crazy

- he’s the best driver out of all of us, most of the time we have a driver that takes us everywhere (shout out to jeff we love you) but if he’s not there then it’s robaire that’s driving

- when he’s driving on the freeway, he SCREAMS (which is completely valid la freeways are wild)

- his favorite animal is elephants :D

- he favorite color is black

- he is a very wise young man?? dude makes me wanna be the bigger person sometimes

- out of all the members I think he is the best at giving advice

- he can juggle? like really well?

- he watches a lot of true crime documentaries

- he was really used to it being cold in the winter since he’s from canada but when he came to california and it didn’t snow he was having a mental break down

- he is a very big fan of the hungry games

- he posts a lot of videos of him singing song covers

- he paints his nails sometimes (t or me normally do it for him)

- very responsible young man, I can count on him for anything

- he said that if he had a sister he’d only let me and taeyoung meet her

- his love language is physical touch and words of affirmation if I were to guess

- he has a very nice voice I like it a lot

- jesse is the one who gave him his eyebrow slit, when he found out he was gonna debut he got a little rush in assuming and he asked jesse to do it for him (his logic was that jesse does art and he has really study hands so he’s less likely to mess up)

- he likes peach flavored things

- dude LOVES 2pac (his favorite 2pac song is how do u want it)

- his favorite song from intoxicated is ‘dimple’ and right ‘here’ (AND I WROTE BOTH OF THOSE HA)

- he did write ‘wonder’ tho :D

- he prefers going to the beach then the pool

- after the puppy from our puppy interview with buzzfeed ripped his shirt apart he just walked around like that for the rest of the day, he didn’t even change

- he wants to have a family one day

- he got really happy when he took a “what 4town member are you?” quiz and got himself

- him and jesse are like in love they cuddle and everything

- mad robaire is scarier then hell itself

- I appreciate that when the paparazzi for whatever reason get really heavy on me he’ll pull me out and stand in front of me robaire you’re a real one 🫂 (he does this with all of us)

- when he was asked what it was like being the leader of 4town he said “it’s like taking care of four kids, and one baby”

- I saw his baby pictures and let me tell you bro had HAIR

- his mom is such a nice lady she makes jewelry and she gives us some every time we see her

- he has a clear phone case and in the back of it he has a polaroid of us at our debut showcase

- his wallpaper is a picture of him and his parents

- he has a “fake call” app so when he wants to get out of situations he’ll use that

- he is a very clean and organized person and when he’s stressed he cleans

- homie loves a good blt and finds it weird that I don’t like bacon

- he takes pictures of EVERYTHING he finds pretty or interesting.. he’s like a mom

- it actually became a meme of how happy he is when he takes pictures

- he absolutely destroys the food that taeyoung makes (we all do tho so I’m not judging)

- you see jesse doesn’t do very well with spicy food, and that white boy lives with one mexican, one korean, and one that’s mixed with mexican AND vietnamese so yk we really enjoy the spice but when jesse is in tears ripping his hair out because his moth is burning, robaire will be like “guys it’s not funny” (because yk we normally laugh at him) and then robaire will get a glass of milk for him and then laugh at him behind his back

- him and jesse are going on ‘hot ones’ soon so god save jesse, I think robaire will be fine tho

[lostbizkits]

I will never get over the fact that the person who I considered one of my greatest friends actually Did Not In Fact Like Me for at least 4 years and during those 4 years deliberately tried excluding me from every conversation with others about my interests.

If a new anime came out and she wanted to talk about it she would specifically only talk about it when I wasn’t around.

When I started talking about said anime she would immediately lose interest and the cycle would continue

It happened like… 5 times 😭😭 like MHA, AOT, Undertale, Yuri on Ice, Tokyo Ghoul, DRAWING IN GENERAL it’s really funny now that I think about it.

I just straight up did not notice the entire time too my ass was so clueless I couldn’t fathom that she was doing this. I only found out because someone else told me 2 years after it started happening.

I will also never forget about how 3 of my highschool friends, 2 of them I knew for 13 years, got into relationships, didn’t tell me for a whole year, and laughed at me when I got confused when they were talking about how they’d all been “going strong” for a year.

I will never forget being considered weird and strange and childish for my interests esp since I was interested in them for way longer than my peers. That I was weird for liking things like anime and donghua even though I grew up watching anime and donghua (I could never beat the Asian poser allegations even though I was the only Asian ) but then 2017 hit and liking anime was cool all of a sudden and multiple people suddenly forgot they called me abnormal for liking ugly cartoons at my big age and were asking me for recommendations

I remember saying things to people and they would laugh but I’d never understand why it’s funny, to this day I don’t get it. I am very good at this now tho with my college friends so my SHS was probably just full of dry people.

The shit that keeps me up at night is also that all my teachers would tell my parents that I was highly distracted and always fidgeting or daydreaming, and that if I just worked on discipline and motivation I’d be a better student even though I wasn’t doing bad by any means from class 1 to fucking 6th form and no one clocked that I had ADHD is WILD

My mom, who majored in child psychology didn’t clock that I had ADHD for 19 entire years and called me drug seeking when I got my diagnosis and started treatment, because I was nothing like the ADHD kids that she worked with who were all 4.

Also the fact that my childhood was lowkey a giant fluorescent sign of it all and no one clocked it is hilarious. I pulled the straps of my shoes so tight they’d rip because I don’t like the feeling of shoes having air in them, I have dents from it like my feet would not get proper circulation because my shoes were so tight. I cut along the seems of all my school socks because if the seem touched my toe pads I would cry. My favourite thing to do second to playing Mario kart and watching 3 movies on rotation (ponyo, cindarella, Monster High: 13 Wishes) was to stack my collection of kid encyclopedias ( 14 at its peak), read them then put them into another stack. I had more kid encyclopedias but I didn’t like them because they had a different publisher so none of the stuff was in the same layout 0/10

The call was coming from inside the house but everyone had the phone on silent

[facefartdreams]

Tyler Posey lifted a cheek from the hot cement basketball court next to all his best guy friends. In typical Posey style the guys winced as they braced for another Posey fart. The fart shot out in three beats, airy and muffled. "pffffsshhp, pphhrrmmpph, phrmpph!" The heat from the cement heightened the smell and his friends pulled their shirts over their noses. “Damn Pose! Another one?!?!” Greg was used to this behavior. Tyler was a 5 year old when it came to gas humor, and it seemed you couldn’t hang out with him without getting at least one fart from him. John took his shirt down and sniffed the air “Ugh! It’s still bad!” Tyler Hoechlin knew his friend’s fart was gonna linger, and sat with his shirt over his face, rolling his eyes at Posey. Posey began to waft the rest of his gas to all three of his friends.

Tyler Posey didn’t do this to be mean, or teasing. Tyler in fact wanted his friends to retaliate. and one day he knew they would. Posey had a fart fetish. When he was younger, he would fart on his pillows before bedtime and take deep whiffs. That got him searching for fart stuff online which led him to some fetish websites. Overtime he learned how to masturbate and from then on he got off on the intense imaginary smells of gas from hot guys in photos or even real farts on Youtube. Tyler sat in class with Greg & John as a new kid walked into the room. Dylan just transferred from a tech school into a University and was sort of a dweeb, so Tyler thought. Dylan took the lone empty seat next to Tyler and waited for class to begin. Posey took this empty moment to rip a fart in the class full of guys, bring chuckles and moans throughout the class. Dylan looked at Tyler with eyes of fear and shock. Tyler smiled at the dweeb and leaned back in his seat to relax. Class began. The teacher was young, just a year or two older than the average senior. So when talking about solids, liquids, and gases, the guys in the class all had some good chuckles about the gas substance. "Posey's got a lotta gas teach!" Tyler laughed and looked over to Dylan who stared shyly at the man. Tyler gave him a smile… fuck he was kind of weird… That afternoon Posey walked to Hoechlin's dorm to chill and play some video games. "Hey Ty, have you met Dylan? He's my new dorm neighbor!" Posey gave the same look of awkward shock Dylan gave him at school. "How many more times am I gonna have to see this kid?" Dylan smiled and acknowledged that they had met. As the games progressed Hoechlin left the room to use the bathroom. Posey sat with Dylan in awkward silence until Dylan tried to spark a conversation. "So… what do you do for fun?" Tyler continued staring at the game and ignored Dylan as a person in the room until he responded with "huh… this…" Dylan stared at the video game Posey had his eyes glued on. Posey sat with a stare and with a hint of remorse tried to spark up some conversation with the weird newbie in return. "So… huh… what's your last name?" Tyler asked. "O'Brien, you gonna add me to Facebook? I have one!" Dylan lit up. "What? No! Just trying to be nice and talk…" Tyler went back to his game. Then out of thin air Dylan shot back with something that sent chills down Tyler's spine. "That was some fart in class today…" Dylan smiled at his comment and Tyler's eyes lit up in shock. His eyes moved from side to side as Dylan stumbled upon the one thing Tyler really wanted to talk about. "It was okay… I… guess…" Tyler tried focusing on his game when the other Tyler reentered the room. You could cut the tension with a knife. Posey was silent. O'Brien smiled and watched the now failing Tyler continue at his video game. Tyler sat in chemistry class groggy and miserable. He didn't sleep a wink and mostly because he sat in bed thinking about Dylan and the way his eyes lit up in awe when he brought up Tyler's fart yesterday. Did he like them too? He couldn't! Some straight laced guy with a happy go lucky grin couldn't possibly like something so foul. Greg and John entered the room and sat near Tyler. "Dude! You look like shit" Greg laughed at his own comment and John spoke up. "You and Hoechlin must have gotten wasted last night?" Posey made some underhanded comment about how Hoechlin's new buddy Dylan doesn't drink and the guys cracked up. "He just sat around and talked, no booze, no girls, no fun, worst free time of my life!" "Dude! You should just fart on him today, aim em' all at him. Be merciless!" John's idea sparked a smile within Tyler. Dylan was gonna get served. As Dylan walked into class he looked well rested and pulled his water bottle out of his backpack… "he must still use the same one from high school. What a loser, just carry the one book, you just have one class today dumb ass!" Tyler thought. At that moment Tyler tapped Greg on the shoulder and Greg turned around as Tyler shifted his eyes towards Dylan, still facing Greg. Tyler lifted his rump

slightly from his chair and a small squeaker of a fart blasted from his seat. Dylan looked shocked and stared at the two guys and laughed. Greg laughed back… primarily at Dylan rather than with him, and turned around to prepare for the lesson. Dylan looked a Tyler to comment "Yesterday's was better…" Tyler said nothing and prepared for the lesson. His butt lifted from the seat again and a faint hiss left his shorts. A faint whiff of ass hit his nose and Dylan's. That's when the strange part occurred. It was 15 minutes into class and the four guys in the back were hit by a stronger smell. Rotten eggs, foul skunk, and sweaty ripe ass filled the air as Greg and John began to choke. "Teacher! I think Posey needs to be excused!!!" John sounded worried. The professor made no reaction, these guys break wind in class everyday, it was just another day for them. Posey made no comment but to laugh and claim the attack with a grin. John and Greg turned back around to the lesson when Tyler looked at Dylan… Dylan winked an eye at the once champion farter and smiled. Knowing he just bested the champion. Tyler lifted a leg and ripped  a rather audible blast at Dylan and the class erupted in anger at the 20 year old stud. Dylan secretly lifted a cheek and although silent, the smell was unbearably worse. Tyler blushed red as John and Greg turned around to egg Tyler on. "Dude, we said be merciless, but this is too much! Give the poor guy a break and take some beano" John was in near tears. Greg was on the verge of dry heaving. "Dylan, buddy! You're not even flinching! You're a beast to put up with this!" Greg was impressed by Dylan's composure. What John and Greg didn't know was that Dylan had just let loose another series of gas attacks into the room. Tyler let out a bigger fart, which, accidentally timed made it seem like the smell came from his loud blast rather than Dylan's SBD. Within 40 more minutes of class the guys were now all well equipped to handle a chemical war.

Class was over and the guys walked out. John and Greg were applauding their newfound hero Dylan for taking Posey's gas like a champ. Neither guy knew that the smell was Dylan's brew. Posey sat back and watched as the weird kid got high fives and back pats for his stamina. "We're now a group of five bros man, you're in!" John said as Dylan got bright eyed. He just wanted to fit in. Posey felt even sicker… what if Dylan wanted to fart more?

The party was a huge hit. Posey and the gang threw a huge bash at his dorm. There was beer, chips, salsa, bean dip, and more "Everclear" than you'd know what to do with. "Do we really have to invite him? I still think he's a dweeb!" Tyler asked John. "Dude! You're just upset that you can't throw him off with your stink. That guy is more of a man than you! haha!" Tyler focused on that conversation between him and John for the duration of the party as Dylan sat right next to Posey with some bean dip and broccoli. "Hey Tyler!" Dylan tried to be nice. Tyler sipped his beer and scoldingly told Dylan "How come you don't drink?" Dylan looked at him sheepishly; "I'll drink, if you'll be nice to me." Tyler obliged and Dylan took a swig of Everclear with his juice. Tyler laughed at Dylan's facial expressions each shot and asked him to try it again. 5 shots later Dylan said "This doesn't have a taste? *hiccup*" Tyler took a shot himself and wrapped his arm around Dylan. "Come here kid, I'll show you some beer…" Tyler brought out a Guinness for them both. "This is only for special occasions, that cheap PBR is nothing…" Dylan LOVED it! And drank happily with Tyler the rest of the night. They laughed and got to know each other better. Tyler even calling Dylan "cool" in his book. Dylan smiled… but began to look sick from the alcohol. Greg was scoring big with the ladies as Hoechlin and John left with no one. "Man, Dylan's pretty fucked up tonight. What did you do Pose?" Tyler Hoechlin looked worried. "He's fine, he can crash here tonight. I don't want his dorm leader finding him drunk when you take him home." The guys left for the night and Posey and O'Brien stayed. Tyler wrapped him in a blanket on the couch and headed to his bed to go to sleep.

Tyler laid awake in his bed to thoughts of men from his porn library ripping ass in his dorm room. As he stroked his cock he imagined the smells and sounds they produced just for him. He threw one of them on the bed in his imagination and began to eat his ass out. He imagined the smooth run fleshy ass against his tongue ripping fart after fart and soon he was furiously stroking his meat in an intense sweat that was absorbed by the bed. The man in his dreams ripped a fart that went on for ages, his cum shot out onto the sheets and the guy's face became more prevalent in his mind… it was Dylan! Posey gasped for air and rose up from his bed panting in fear. "What the fuck was that?!?" Tyler thought. He got up and walked back into his livingroom. Dylan was curled up on the couch and sleeping like a baby. "Fucking dweeb" Tyler mumbled under his breath. He got a glass of water from the kitchen and began to head back to bed, but something came over him. He walked over to Dylan on the couch… "Don't do it" Tyler tried stopping himself. He took a sniff of the air, a loud sniff. Nothing. He would regret this next move… he moved in closer. Posey got within inches of Dylan's ass and although it was snuggly fit under the covers the smell was amazing. The dweeb had an ass odor, and Tyler was getting hooked. Posey went to bed in shame of his secret sniffing adventure. But his mind raced with the thoughts of Dylan's gas in the classroom that afternoon. Could he be… falling for the dweeb? Tyler's dreams were tame, except for one. Dylan was snuggled in bed with him and he was dutch opening him as a prank. He woke up and headed to the kitchen for some breakfast. Dylan was up and at it. "What? No hangover?!?!" Tyler pointed out. "That? Oh, last night was nothing. I drank twice as much at home. Dylan was acting rather alpha male this morning; Tyler was confused. Talk of the weather and classes grew old between the two and Posey tried coming up with other conversations. Dylan had other ideas. "Man, I bet I had some GAS last night. Dylan winked at Tyler and Tyler felt uncomfortable again as Dylan aimed a fart into Tyler's direction. The smell wafted to Tyler who winced and coughed on the smell. Tyler had to retaliate and ripped one of his own. It stunk, but Dylan's was stronger. Just like the classroom experience Dylan was besting the gassy fetishist. "So you can retaliate?" Dylan ripped a longer blast. The smell intensified and Tyler's dick grew in his shorts. "I thought I'd freshen the room a bit with my brew." Dylan smiled and then smoldered his stare at Tyler.was he flirting? Tyler turned red and tried to get up and do his book report. "Have you read your book yet?" Dylan asked. Tyler played it off and said yes, but Dylan's next quote sent chills down his spine. "Was your book against my ass last night? Because you had your nose there for part of the night. Did it smell good?" Dylan was going in for the kill. Tyler was sweating and told Dylan to get out. The fear was all over his face. "Get out? I think I have something you want Posey Wosey. Dylan sat on Tyler's lap and Tyler tried bucking him off. The fart was loud. It was warm. not just warm, it burned! Fuck it burned! Tyler winced from the smell, but it was the most magical moment of heaven he ever experienced! Dylan wrapped his arm around Tyler's shoulder and Tyler wrapped his around Dylan's back. Dylan let out another fart after lifting a cheek and aiming it at Tyler's stomach. "I see you've stopped competing. is someone out of gas? Dylan cooed at Tyler. "You're the king." Tyler moaned over and over. "The king?!?" Dylan smiled. "Well, that's pretty impressive. Am I more kingly than that farter you have saved on your computer?" Tyler was taken aback by Dylan's remark. Dylan looked at his Internet history last night! But it didn't matter. In fact it felt safer. Dylan was doing this willingly.Yes Dilly! OH YES!!! FUCK MORE!!!" Dylan smacked Tyler in the back of the head and ripped an angry fart in his lap. But you told me to get out. so I guess this is goodbye.

Dylan sat up and walked out the door farting almost each step of the way. Tyler's legs had lost circulation but that didn't stop him from crawling to the door in hopes of getting Dylan back. Tyler laid in a fetal position alone in his apartment dorm breathing in the smells of Dylan's crop-dust. He was so sexually frustrated he was in tears. What if Dylan told the guys? What if he told the school? Class on Monday had Posey freaking out. He sat at his typical desk when Dylan walked in… he sat right in front of Tyler. John and Greg noticed this and took seats next to Dylan instead of you. "Man, I see Dylan is learning from Friday's mistakes. Can't sit next to the gas bomb for too long!" John chuckled at Tyler's expense and Tyler stared at Greg. pointing to the empty seat next to him. "Man Posey, I don't think anyone is gonna sit their after you nuked it last week!" Posey tried to laugh it off.deep down he was hurt, lonely, and feeling left out. His new view was kind of worth it though… Dylan's round butt spread right in front of his view. Dylan pulled his jeans down and Tyler sprung a boner when he noticed… he wasn't wearing any underwear in class. His jacket covered his front view. To the teacher and the rest of the class it looked like Dylan was fully clothed. The smell hit Tyler like a ton of bricks. He focused more on Dylan's ass, the hole opened up and the smell magnified. Every minute Tyler was hit by a wave of stink from Dylan's butt in class. Tyler had a show of Dylan's ass right in front of him. As class ended Posey's notes were blank. Dylan pulled up his jeans and got out of his seat. Greg and John walked out with him with Posey trailing behind. "Yo Dylan! We still on for tomorrow?" Greg asked. "Yeah, see you then! I'm bring Hoechlin!" Dylan smiled as Tyler spoke up, "Wait? What's going on?" Posey looked confused. "Oh, we're hanging out Tuesday… you can come right Dylan?" Greg looked at Dylan as though Dylan was in charge of the group. "Yeah, come on!" John and Greg headed to their next class as Dylan was pushed against a wall by Tyler. "What the fuck was that!?" Tyler was furious with the mind games. "Chill buddy, you getting' jealous of me taking over? Afraid of my power?" Dylan bit his lip and chuckled at Tyler's grip as it lightened. Dylan smiled and ripped a fart and laughed harder. Tyler asked Dylan to hang out after his classes, his voice cracked from the question. "Well, what would we do together?" Dylan smiled more, it was a shit eating grin that made Tyler feel two inches small. "Well… we could… study…" Tyler sulked. "Oh, because you didn't record any notes today and need mine?" Dylan laughed and tickled Posey's nipple. Posey flinched and responded. "We… we… can do the thing…" "Oh! The thing… yeah… well, I knew I'd hook you soon. Tell you what, I'll give you my notes, but at a price…" Dylan looked powerful. Tyler was scared. "All the notes you can ever need… but you'll be my personal fart sniffer… for life." Dylan massaged Tyler's shoulder after the proposal. Tyler struggled to speak as Dylan's other hand moved down to Tyler's member… "I think your little friend has chosen for you". Dylan walked right into Tyler's apartment. "Man, you still got any of that bean dip?" I'm hungry. Tyler pulled the dip from the fridge with some broccoli and handed it to Dylan. Dylan had wrapped a blanket around his body and pointed to a hole. "In." Dylan commanded. Tyler stuck his head into the covers right against Dylan's ass. He was wrapped tight against Dylan's hole. The first sniff was incredible. Dylan's ass smelled just like the gas Tyler was subjected to in class. That's when the first fart hit. Tyler's nose burned as he carefully sniffed Dylan's ass and stroked his cock. Tyler woke up with his face trapped in a bed sheet. Dylan was gone. It was 3am. He read a note on his bedroom door: "You couldn't even last 5 minutes down there. You're pathetic. If you don't do better next time I'm gonna twist your nuts until they pop off. Love you sweetie! -Dilly" Posey was scared, but his hard on still grew.

He threw himself on his bed, face to pillow, when a foul smell hit him… Dylan farted on his pillows before leaving… he sniffed until he passed out drunk on Dylan's gas. Tuesday night Posey was dressed to the nine's. The guys went to a club and were sitting at a booth. Dylan was leading the conversation and John, Greg and Hoechlin were eating it up. Greg drew everyone's attention to a girl. Dylan glared at Tyler and pointed to the restroom with a wink. "He wants me to do this now?!?" Tyler thought. The two guys passed the bathroom and Dylan led them to an area behind the building. Dylan guided Tyler so that his back was against a brick wall, and with no words Dylan began to fart onto Posey's thigh. Tyler was mesmerized by the showing. Dylan was blowing out gas like a champ. Most were inaudible, but the breeze, and the foul smell was a dead giveaway. For 5 minutes Dylan let rip constant streams of gas, but at minute 6 Posey tried bucking him off. "Dude! That's enough, you're proving your point you're a fucking GOD! Now get off me!" Posey felt a little nauseous from the performance. "No Pose! I got GAS! I need you to sniff it. Come to think of it, my shorts are probably filtering the stink. It may travel back to the other guys." Tyler was listening to Dylan speak and he felt lightheaded with excitement and fear. "Can you pull my shorts down… with your teeth?" Dylan gave Tyler the sweetest puppy dog eyes he could muster. Tyler dropped to his knees and praised the bubblebutt before his eyes. Dylan backed his ass up into Tyler's mouth as Tyler opened wide and bit down on the back elastic of Dylan's shorts. As Tyler pulled down on the shorts his nose rubbed against Dylan's open crack. Tyler could smell the scent of trapped gas between the cheeks flood his senses. A quick sharp toot filled the air and Tyler's oxygen was tainted further with the gas of his new fart king. "Air my shorts out and keep your face in my ass. I got a lot more" Dylan was talking as though this was the most normal behavior in the world. Tyler began to moan. How did Dylan never run out of gas!?!? "You're doing a lot better than Monday night. Just don't pass out" On the word pass out Dylan let out a fart that could singe nose hairs of anyone in the parking lot on the other side of the building. Tyler tried to escape but his head was trapped against the brick wall. He was in Dylan's fart trap. "We better go back… I still have a lot of gas but you'll just have to claim whatever I have to release in the bar." Tyler stared at Dylan. He was embarrassed to fart. Dylan was embarrassed about farting in front of the other guys. But around him he was a gas bomb. If that didn't say love, what did? A few months later the guys were hanging out at John and Greg's house. Dylan was sitting on a bean bag and munching on some taco bell when a fart erupted from his ass. This fart scared the living daylights out of the guys and they stared at Dylan. Dylan was about to cry when Posey spoke up. "Sorry guys, hahahaha! That was me." John looked back at Dylan on the other side of the room. "Uhh… bro… that noise came from Dylan!" The smell hit the guys with force. "UGH! Wait y'all, ever since Dylan came into the picture, Tyler's farts have stunk SO much worse!" Hoechlin looked confused. "Guys! Seriously, I can throw my farts! See?" Tyler leaned and motioned to Dylan to rip a fart from his seat. Dylan let out another loud monster and looked scared and cried "STOP!" They guys busted out laughing as Tyler waved a hand behind his ass to waft the magnify smell from his ass. Dylan lived to see another embarrassment free night. Posey was sure to be rewarded for that save tonight… when the taco bell finally reached Dylan's gut. Dylan was sure to make Posey suffocate and cum his dick off that night.

[nukenai]

Well it’s 1am but I absolutely have to finally write one of these posts, don’t read if you don’t wanna be teleported to a sad 1am post of mine from 5 years ago or be consumed by gigacringe (this post is not sad but cw for some as-expected negative mental health stuff/actions I’ll be mentioning, from my past.)

I really don’t think I can even begin to articulate how important Super Mario RPG is to me. When I was a kid - like I’m talking 2006-ish - my Thing(tm) was Earthbound. We didn’t say “fandom” back then. Besides Pokemon and Zelda, it became my THING and I fell so in love with it. A weird part of internet Earthbound culture back then was that you were mad at Super Mario RPG for making Earthbound sell poorly. I know, it’s insane, I was 15 cut me a fucking break.

So yeah that was all intrinsically linked with Smash, obviously. I was online during the pre-release of Brawl days, browsing places like /v/, and there was all this talk of this guy Geno. I didn’t know who Geno was! One time I did a Deviantart Journal “quiz” thing, and one question was, “Who is a video game character you hate?” My response was “I dunno, that Geno guy”. A friend of mine at the time was like “??? Like SMRPG Geno? How could you hate him?” and me being a teenager, I was like well, I’m annoyed that everyone talks about him.

Stuff got weird pretty quickly. An artist I had a goofy little crush on drew Geno. And I went, huh. Okay.

Then Brawl came out. I won’t even get into all of that because this is about SMRPG, but people ripped data off the disks and found unused stuff. Like unused music. I was mad about the unused Earthbound music, and the Ballad of the Wind Fish. Boo!

But then someone made a fun little album, called “Brawl - The Lost Tracks”. They got together “as official as possible” versions of the songs that had gone unused and only existed as text files on the disk. This included Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms (I’ve made angry posts before about how wrong the Cutting Room Floor page is about this track NOT being BTFM - ask me about it sometime and I’ll start screaming)

So one day I downloaded this little album. And I remember exactly where I was sitting, I listened to a couple of the EB songs like yeah, alright. Then there was a nice remix of the ballad of the wind fish. Then I saw beware the forest’s mushrooms and I thought, well. Why not. It’s a song. I like music.

It was the official arrange from the arrangement album. Until Memoria it was 100% the most beautiful rendition of the song to ever exist. And I lost my goddamn mind. I had never heard a song so gorgeous and I was instantly so upset with myself for being such a stubborn dork about SMRPG for so long (imagine that, me, stubborn!!)

So it all kinda hit me like a truck. I remember the day I first saved a piece of Geno fanart, like a day after I heard the song, and I was GOT. I thought oh, maybe he’s kinda cute, and it all just spiraled into hell. When I was a kid I was all into people drawing him as a Cool Anime Bishounen, but now I’m extremely cool and am like “Doll only, please!” unless it’s the goofy cute human design I have for him. But really I prefer doll. ANYWAYS.

During my high school years my life was... uh, rough. I was dealing with domestic violence in my home and we were more than once kicked out of our house and had to scramble to find a place to stay temporarily. While I was still just going to classes. I wound up failing my 11th grade English class because I often didn’t have access to a computer with internet or a printer and couldn’t do my assignments. My teacher didn’t ask why I was suddenly not finishing assignments, she just failed me. I went to summer school and it wound up being one of the best experiences of my life though. So, you know.

Throughout all this bullshit I like, had Geno. I had a reason to look up at the starry sky and make wishes and track meteor showers. It was something to like, keep my going again. Unsurprisingly I was DEEPLY struggling with my mental health. I was self-harming, and was just in general doing Very Fucking Not Great and felt like I had nowhere to turn. To this day my family like, doesn’t let me talk about this situation, and I received no help or support from any of them during this. Things are better now, but holy fuck, man. It was just my mom and I dealing with domestic violence and homelessness and no one was helping us.

But I had him. I had the “will he be in Smash someday?” shit. I had the Smash speculation community. I had SMRPG fans who were all like-minded cool people who loved how much I loved Geno, because they loved him too! He was like a fucking life raft for me in one of the worst periods of my whole existence and always felt like an anchor when things were spiraling out of control.

And it feels so corny to talk about it, because oh Nuke, you’re always dramatic about characters. But damn, did it fucking hurt when “friends” were just straight up fucking mean to me about Smash stuff for years on end. Damn did it hurt when I tried to express how important this shit was to me, and it was written off as me being ridiculous about a Video Game, you know? Would therapy have been good? Maybe. I tried it as an adult after being pressured into it by my ex and it was an actual nightmare because the only therapist in my area with hours compatible with my job who took my insurance was like 24 years old and told me straight to my face she didn’t want to talk about things I liked because she didn’t understand them. So maybe not! But I had this something, something so important to me, and it felt like everyone around me was so fucking Tired of me caring so much about something. It felt like everyone was tired of ME. And I was tiring of myself too, and it fucking sucked! It really did.

A couple years ago I finally let go of all the rage and sorrow in my heart and I’ve been doing so, so well. I found myself so suddenly surrounded by people who fucking care about me, and who are like “Oh, I don’t know that character, tell me about them! You love them so much!”, and people who invite me over to their house to just sit and watch Transformers or build model kits. People tell me to my face “I don’t think you’re annoying” when I compare myself to Rodimus, and I get actively invited to things. Wow! It’s been so fucking NICE. It sucks to have such nightmares in my past to compare this all to, but man, the difference is insane.

So it’s like. I wanted this to happen years ago. I wanted them to announce a SMRPG remake, or something, a few years ago when I was at my worst, when people were treating me like shit, when friends of my SO were being huge assholes to me only for my SO to say “hmm I think you’re making that up because you’re dramatic”.

But it didn’t. And I got through everything with my own strength. And now I’m at my absolute best, and I get this now. I get it once I’ve moved past all those miserable negative people who treated me like garbage. I don’t have to rub it in their faces and be like “Look, I got this far, I’ve made it and I won over all the SHIT”. Because none of them are here anymore and they don’t matter to me.

I got so many messages across all my social medias, even from people who I haven’t actually spoken to in some time (but still exist in internet circles with, you know how online friendships are), so many people saying oh my god, Nuke, I’m so happy for you, holy shit congratulations, this is amazing I can’t believe it.

I love you all so fucking much, I love Super Mario RPG so fucking much, all of you and this game are so important to me I don’t even know if 4k more words of rambling nonsense can express it. I am at such a good place in my life now, I want to spread that positivity and do my best to be good to people and to the world that has been so good to me these past few years. Despite how this year started, it hasn’t felt like a negative shroud over me. Just another challenge to overcome, and I’ve overcome literally everything put in front of me so far. Nothing is phasing me anymore and I’m doing so GREAT.

I’m so happy the remake is happening at a time when I’m at my best. I didn’t need anyone to save me before, and now this will just lift me higher. And I can truly enjoy it, as a joyful gift, as opposed to hoping it will be a life raft getting me out of a flood. I can truly enjoy it for what it is and what it’s meant to be.

A beautiful, delightful, very funny little video game, about Mario and all his weird little friends.

I don’t think I’ll even mind having to say goodbye to Geno at the end, again. Because I know now, there’s nothing stopping him from coming back.

And hey, SMRPG’s not a very long game. I can always replay it. And Geno will always be there.

Always.

[ushalin]

Female Socialisation & Beauty: The Highs & Lows of Being a High School Girl

Or, if you’re a geeky, intelligent, “weird”, non-makeup wearing, non-shaving, openly-radfem, openly-separatist, openly-lesbian high school girl, it’s really just the lows. 

First post on RadBlr. Was on RadTwt as Alora/@missypilled (rip). Misogyny in school is possibly driving me insane. 

I have very long hair (I’d like to cut it but am not allowed to). I don’t style it. I always wear it in a ponytail for convenience, otherwise it’s irritating and gets in the way (which, of course, is an issue boys never deal with). I’ve been harassed—genuine harassment—by girls so many times over the years for never doing anything with my hair, or never having it down. I am treated SO much better by girls if I have it down; this has been consistent over the years, from Year 3 to Year 10. I look prettier with my hair down, and of course more feminine. I don’t care; it’s goddamn inconvenient. I’m here to function properly, not look attractive. 

A few days ago, I tested out this theory once again by having my hair down during class. Girls who usually only talk to me when they want to make fun of me for being a feminist were suddenly friendly and chatty. They stopped giving me sideway glances in class. Something so seemingly insignificant as hair style (or lack thereof) plays such a large part in treatment. They spend hours on their hair, I clearly don’t; I wash and brush it, that’s it. I don’t care about it like they do and it angers them. They distance themselves from me. Exactly how they’re trained to react. 

No surprise this experience applies to my zero-makeup face (the ones who treat me worse are the ones who wear the most makeup; I hold a metaphorical mirror up to them and make them ask themselves, “Why DO I wear all this?” and they hate it, they can’t bear to face the reality) and my hairy body. I have never worn makeup or shaved to see if it makes a difference and I never will, but we all know they would treat me much better if I did (the boys also mock my hairy body, far worse—even sexually harassing me for it [I beat up the boy who sexually harassed me by making inappropriate comments about my pubic hair lmao]). Obviously, this treatment has worsened since I came out as lesbian. 

I don’t care about approval or acceptance, thankfully. But I do think about this a lot. And I feel sad. Not for myself, but for these girls. Because they’ve been brainwashed. Because female socialisation has taught them to attack and mock any girl who doesn't conform to expectations of us (the things I’ve heard girls say in the changing rooms about some random girl who doesn’t shave her “vagina” [vulva...], dear God... wish I could find out who she was though, I want to be friends), any girl who escapes our hellish socialisation; you're a lesbian? You're a feminist (a radfem no less)? You're a separatist? You're beauty-free? Say goodbye to 90% of female friendships in school (ESPECIALLY high school, especially in the later part of school). Oh, are you a geek as well?* A nerd? Intelligent? Know your place, female! Partially writing this because I got laughed at, stared at and whispered about for a solid three minutes today for putting my hand up and giving the teacher a high-level analysis on the quote 'O, I am fortune's fool!'—this all came mostly from girls. One started choking with laughter??? Never seen any geeky or nerdy boys treated like that. Never witnessed them scathingly talked about for answering a question well. I wouldn't even call myself a nerd, I never put my hand up, I only do if no one else knows the answer. I didn’t even sound nerdy lmao? 

*Thinking about the treatment of the gay boy who’s into planes and NASA vs the treatment of the lesbian girl who’s into Doctor Who is 🥴 it’s really something. 

Female socialisation is evil. Truly evil. It teaches girls to keep away from those who don’t conform, to only interact when harassing us and attempting to coerce us into conforming to expectations of womyn—which of course keeps them from developing female solidarity with us (because we are dangerous; we are the deviants who could influence them, who could free them from their shackles), and it tries to keep us from developing solidarity with them because we wouldn’t want to be friends with cruel people. 

Society tells us female friendships are fake and insincere, that we’ll never have the depth male friendships have. That girls are bitchy and catty and love causing drama, but boys are so simple and peaceful. It’s drilled into us from our first year at school. 

Obviously, this is bullshit. I don’t need to explain how moids are incapable of having true bonds. Female friendship is a beautiful thing.All these things which girls apparently are? They’re socialised into being that if they are. Of course, we can’t acknowledge patriarchy is the cause of this, no, girls are just naturally evil bitches and a plethora of other misogynistic slurs, and, hey, you should focus on male relationships instead of female friendships, put your boyfriend over your friends! 

But as these girls who avoid this one aspect of socialisation are ostracised and disliked, they’re pushed into another section of female socialisation: they believe these lies about girls and female friendships. They’re treated like this because girls are catty and spiteful and snakes. It’s not because of any deeper reasons, it’s just because this is the way girls are. I’ve never come to this conclusion, but I can’t tell you the amount of (female :/) adults who have offered me this explanation when I come to them about my troubles. 

If I talk about all the other shit I’ve experienced at school for being lesbian and for being a radfem, this post would be a mile long. I’m sure as hell going to write something about that later though. But Jesus. I can tell you now the only time I’ve seen female solidarity at school is when OSA girls have come together to harass a lesbian. 

And if you girls find me here, like you did my Twitter, where you harassed me and revealed my personal information... like I said before: you won’t stop me from fighting for female liberation. Nothing you do gets to me. All I feel for you—all I will ever feel for you—is pity. You’re so young, I still hope there’s time for you to develop class consciousness. 

Schools are breeding grounds for misogyny. It’s hell where boys’ sexual harassment is rife and unrelenting, and female socialisation is shoved at you constantly and if for a single second you resist it, they will come for you and they will never stop. 

Fuck this world. Screw this world for making girls suffer. We’re children. We’re goddamn children and we have to go through this. Fuck moids and fuck moid-lovers. The horrors girls, especially teenage girls, go through would be considered morally illegal in any fair, womyn-loving world. But we’re in this world, where male supremacy has reigned for millennia and will continue to do so for a very long time. I hate it. No one thinks of the girl children. No one cares about us, not even each other. I’ve seen what my female peers have done to become numb to it. It is horrifying and heart-breaking. We deserve so much better.

[syxnewt]

I had such a wild dream

It started off at a school, I think? That part wasn't clear. I was given a gun - a Valorant ghost, though those don't exist- and didn't really question why. While a substitute teacher was leaving, I managed to throw it from one end of the school to another and broke it. I told my teacher friends I would turn it on, presumably to fix it. There was this sort of long desk thing and freaking ProZd was working one end of it. He seemed super grumpy so I figured that's how he must be at his "regular job". I rounded the corner to the other side and there was an even grumpier woman who refused to listen to why I had a gun. When I tried to explain I had broken in by throwing it at a teacher when he left (????) she said something like "That's a worse offense than anything you've already said" then screeched for the staff. Luckily my teacher friends were there and they painted me a picture of a duck to reassure me or something.

Somehow I ended up no longer a teacher and with Phineas and Ferb and Candace and some random scuba divers all ready to search for some rumored perfect city. We swam in the ocean and eventually found it. It had like no gun violence and a bunch of other liberal things (for Americans) and one of the diver guys said, in Dan Povenmire's voice "Wow I wonder who's idea this whole city was this is pretty crazy I wonder who thought of it" For some reason we ended up on the top of this pyramid thing in the center of the city and it turned into deltarune characters but I didn't notice that yet. Then the part we were standing on broke and we fell into the ocean. At that point I was Kris and Noelle was right in front of me. We were in cages in the ocean because it was a trap of some sort? We were underwater but totally fine except for being trapped. Kris managed to get out somehow, and it kinda looked like a 3-D video game from my pov. Then Kris was immediately eaten by some sort of sea plant and their soul was spat out. It looked like if someone had seen a realistic human heart before and wasn't really sure what all the arteries and stuff were. The soul swam over to Noelle to possess her Different-Snowgrave style but she was not having it. She tried fist fighting the soul before realizing it wasn't helping and then they merged. Kris also had like a stupid deep voice for some reason. They came to an agreement that things would go back to normal once everyone was saved (how, considering Kris was dead, I have no idea). And then they began ripping the cages. The people I perceived as Noelle's mother and sister were weird, since one could stretch like elastical and they were both human. Somehow everyone switched to like anime characters that don't exist. When they reached the surface, people wanted their autograph, and "Noelle"'s other sisters were looking for her. The soul and "Noelle" looked pretty different that regular "Noelle" for some reason. I didn't write the dream I have no idea. Eventually the sisters realized the mysterious savior was "Noelle" and they were forced into an awkward conversation. Then I woke up.