#because my dad is both of those things also hehe

[wendichester]

hello!! i hope you're good and having a great day 🤍 i was wondering if you could write about how might possibly would dean and sam would react coming back to the bunker and being greeted by their senior dog (because senior dogs are awesome and i think they deserve more acknowledgement)? and the dog being the king/queen of the house or bunker in this case 👑 (maybe this dog was the only thing they could physically keep from their dad, idk just an idea) if it is okay for you and if you like the idea ofc 🫶🏻

also is it too obvious i am a dog person? hehe

་༘࿐ bunker's guardian,

summary. sam and dean come home to their trusty four legged bestie

pairing. sam winchester + dean winchester + senior doggo

wordcount. 445

notes. ma'am i love dogs and this was a pleasure to write 🐾

The bunker door creaks open, and Dean steps inside first, his boots heavy on the concrete floor. Sam follows, his arms full of grocery bags, and they’re both exhausted—another long hunt, another close call. But the moment they cross the threshold, the air shifts.

A soft thud echoes down the hallway, followed by the slow, deliberate click of nails on the floor. Dean freezes, his hand instinctively reaching for the knife at his side, but Sam just smiles.

“Relax,” Sam says, setting the bags down. “It’s just the queen of the castle.”

And then she appears—Roxy, their senior German Shepherd, her muzzle gray and her steps a little slower than they used to be. But her tail wags with the same enthusiasm as the day they found her, all those years ago, a scrappy little pup John Winchester had brought home after a hunt. She was supposed to be a guard dog, but she’d quickly become so much more.

“Hey, old girl,” Dean says, his voice softening as he crouches down. Roxy hobbles over to him, her tail wagging so hard her whole body sways, and Dean scratches behind her ears like he’s done a thousand times before.

“Missed us, huh?” Dean murmurs, and Roxy responds by licking his face, her breath warm and a little stinky, but Dean doesn’t care. He laughs, a real, genuine laugh, and it’s a sound Sam hasn’t heard in weeks.

Sam kneels beside them, running a hand over Roxy’s back. Her fur is thinner now, her frame a little bonier, but she’s still the same dog who used to sleep at the foot of his bed, who’d bark at nothing in the middle of the night. She’s the last living piece of their dad they have left, and she’s more than just a dog. She’s family.

“You been holding down the fort, Roxy?” Sam asks, and she turns to him, her brown eyes bright and full of love. She nudges his hand with her nose, demanding more pets, and Sam obliges, his smile widening.

Dean stands, brushing off his jeans, and Roxy follows him, her tail still wagging. She’s slower now, but she keeps up, her eyes never leaving him as he walks to the kitchen.

“You spoil her,” Sam says, watching as Dean pulls a treat from the cabinet and tosses it to her. Roxy catches it mid-air, and Dean grins.

“Damn right I do,” Dean says. “She’s earned it.”

And she has. Roxy’s been through it all with them—the hunts, the losses, the late nights and early mornings. She’s been their constant, their comfort, their reminder that some things, no matter how broken, can still be good.

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[circeyoru]

Cuddles of Another Kind = Requested

[Lucifer x Reader x Alastor] - Headcanons

The Request

Lucifer and Alastor doesn’t see eye to eye. Full stop. Just look at their rival when they were bantering on who’s the better dad for Charlie

Now, you. Are you the luckiest sinner in Hell or the unluckies. It’s up in the air

You blame it on your weak heart to fall for such charismatic demons. Both of them make you smile and laugh like no tomorrow and they live for your smile and laughter. Both of them also make you feel comfortable and safe, something they hold in high regard and with pride

It was somewhat established that you were the apple in Lucifer’s eye and the muse to Alastor’s broadcast, with such big figures, no one fought for your attention or affection. When it came to choosing who, you couldn’t and surprisingly Lucifer and Alastor compromised

(It was after them losing track of you in the middle of their argument and competition, then you were kidnapped by some mafia that wanted to have the King of Hell and Radio Demon begging on their knees to their boss. They saw that the other wanted you safe and happy, so when it came to you, they’ll bend a little)

You are a physical touch type of romantic, you love touching your significant other some way (not suggestively). Whether it was handing hands, or leaning against them, or playing with their hair

You also knew Alastor loves his personal space and his aversion to physical touch initiated by others, so you would turn to Lucifer for such clinginess (Surely you should have also know Alastor wouldn’t mind you touching him!!!)

Alastor: Darling, where are you going? You: Oh, to find Lucifer, wanna cling to them all of a sudden, you know. Those urges to just hug or touch someone. No worries, I won't overstep your boundaries! Lucifer: My beautiful temptress, come to me!

It’s those times where some playful rivalry would appear

Charlie: The TV’s not working… Angel: Mister Smiley is not in the mood. Can’t ya heard the static? Vaggie: What happened this time? Husk: No “my beloved doe” to hug him, plus [Reader]’s with your dad Charlie: Oh…… Well, maybe we can cheer— Alastor: (even more static, they should have been quiet)

Alastor had to tell to your face that he was find with your touches and physical affection. Though it was more like showing you and whispering into your ear. “My dearest darling doe, why do you deprive me of my affections from your delicate hands. Now you need to double what you gave to that short king to me. Your time and your touches.”

After that it was cuddle times together. You even got a bigger bed from the two of them. So you three can lie there without pushing one another off the bed

Make room for Lucifer’s wings! It’s bigger than all three of you! But so fluffy! His wings act as the big spoon to cocoon you all

To make things fair, you sleep in the middle (obviously) and the boys sleep on either sides. Alastor’s head is laying on top of yours and hugs your sides while Lucifer sleeps on your chest to hear your heart beat, his legs crossing yours

Honestly, you don’t need your blanket cause it will get thrown over the bed’s edge by the time you’re awake. So Lucifer compromises with his wings to cover you mostly, the tips maybe covering Alastor

Overall, you can expect your cuddles to lull you to sleep because it was that comfortable and safe, even in Hell and with the most dangerous two demons so close to you. But you know they will never harm you

These cuddles are a privilege to you and you alone

Note: Hehe, headcanons are fun, short and quick~ Thanks for the request!

Circe Y.

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[yeonniesblog]

Kuroo x reader x oikawa

Synopsis : After years spent by a certain setter along with a small toddler mending you heart, your life was a just like a blissful movie with a happy ending. But little did you know the person who gave you not only the worst years of your life but also the small ball of sunshine, decided to suddenly make a appearance in your fairytale when fate played a wild

reader's note : this is the last chapter, make sure to read it in order! Sorry for the angst hehe.

Part 1 : meeting you again | Part 2 : wouldn't you | Part 3 : broken promises | Part 4 : where it all went wrong | Part 5 : enough for now (current one)

“she is a fucking psycopath” kenma sighs, putting the car in reverse as he pulls up in his driveway, eyes fixated on the rear view as kuroo watches the irriated expression on his face.

“dude, chill I know you hate kizumi, but I might marry her” kuroo sips his coffee as he lets out a shallow grunt in annoyance too, what was he doing in life.

“no, just think about it, she specifically asked for the ring you bought to propose to y/n, when she knows you could afford to give her much expensive one right now, but, again I repeat. she asked specifically for that ring, only”

the black hair man groans at the explanation, he knows his friend has a point, but he is trying to gaslight himself into believing whatever kizumi explained to him. “i think she just likes it, she was the one who chose it too, all those years ago—” and before kuroo could finish his sentence, the half blonde cuts him off, swiftly taking out his phone from his pocket and muttering something to it “siri, how do you block people in real life”

“yeah, okay, this is a kuroo hate club, I get it” the man sighs, propping his head back on the headrest, closing his eyes. “honestly I know her behavior is weird, but I’m in a tight spot, my only left family is nagging me to marry her, and you know I could care less about marriage” he pauses taking a deep breath. “dad is legit emotionally blackmailing me, sitting at his stupid hospital bed probably faking his disease”

“they want you to marry, doesn't necessarily have to be her” kenma suggests, opening the seatbelt around him. “i cannot marry a stranger, kizumi is a better option, we have been dating on and off for one year” the rooster haired man replies, honestly he really wants to jump off a cliff, but he will suppress the impulsive urges.

“as a rebutal to that, one thing you said was right” kenma sighs finally looking at his friend, kuroo looks tired, or is aged that appropriate word. “her behavior is weird, it's like she has more attachment to y/n than you, she is insecure as fuck of her. you, me and her, we all know she won't ever level up to the place y/n has in your heart, so she trying to become her, its giving me chills” kenma shudders at that thought, physically gagging.

“do you think it's too late for me to get a therapist?” with that kuroo tetsuro groans one more time.

kuroo sits quietly, hands clasped, looking up with hesitant eyes as he watches you put your purse on the table, stoice face, yet so pretty.

he really meant it when he said you got more gorgeous over the years, there were few lines now adorning your face, mature and elegant glow.

even if he sometimes wonders if it would have been better if you both never met at all, if it would have been better if neither of you had to go through the heartbreak, but he knows,

if there was a spell to go back in time, to where he met you, he would do the same thing. he would make a silly chemistry joke and wait for you to laugh at it, not because it was funny, no it was because it was so bad you laughed at it, it was his fault wasn’t it?

to loose the most precious thing in his life, did you feel worse than him, it wasn't a question, nor a comparison, he wanted to know because he will never forget or forgive himself to give you so much pain over the year.

what did you name the kid? did oikawa tooru’ see how your son took the first steps, was he the one who got called father first, what's his favorite food, does he have a birth mark, does he like volleyball? is your son’ tastes similar to what is his? Just like how he saw the little kid adorning your homely baked goods, similar to what he himself used to do.

it pains him, physically pains him to know he wasn't there for anything, he wasn't there to make you food, hold your hair while you threw up during you morning sickness, not hold your hand while you went into labour, he wasn't part of any of it, six years sometimes means nothing and yet to him, now, it means everything, it means every important thing he lost.

“you don't know how much draining this is for me, to be talking to you, or as a matter of fact to talk about what happened, cause honestly you deserve nothing, not the explanation, not to meet me or ruko” you break the silence first, firmly sitting at your place.

and kuroo wishes he could repent on all the thing you said but the only thought in his mind is what you named your son “his name is ruko?”

“his name is oikawa saruko” you firmly state, a small smile tugging at you lips, you were proud your kid had a father like oikawa, cause you can't imagine anyone else being a better father than him.

tetsuro has never wanted to be in someone else's place as much as he wants to be oikawa now, he sighs at your words. “why didn't you tell me, I would get it if you wanted to get away from me, but don't you think I deserved to know the kid was mine?” his voice quivering as he asks you the question, a weird pang in his chest.

“i tried, I tried so many times” your voice quivers slightly “why do you think I asked for your opinion to have a kid?” that silents the man infront of you, his pupil dilated as he realizes how he explained it, and how it sounded like a definite ‘no” from his side.

“not to mention, even after that I was going to tell you, with my parents kuroo and you didn't show up” he relishes at how defeated he feels when you don't even call him by his first name, so the announcement when you called him was with your parents? his legs tenses up and he stops shaking them.

“i know I don't have any excuse but you know there was a storm that night—”

“yet you left me all alone in that storm, tetsuro” his heart breaks into million pieces, do you even know how much he just wants to pull you close and cry, stain your shirt with his tears of sorrow that he made a mistake and couldn't be in your presence and of joy because after years he was able to see you.

“i—y/n” he tries to put his hands over yours but you are swift to pull away, he knows a million reasons of why your reflex action was right, yet he can't help but feel his throat becoming dry “i’m sorry, I assumed you were with your parents, I had no idea, my phone was dead”

“how can you still lie to me?” your voice croaks, finally looking straight into his eyes, you really don't want to care for whatever his action was or what he did but you can't help but feel wronged.

“what do you mean lie?”

“so your phone was dead enough to not respond to my texts but it was working when you reposted on social media with your now girlfriend, her friends commenting how cute you both looked” you scoff pausing in disbelief “or should I say fiance”

“whatever are you sayi-” then it clicks, it suddenly clicks how kizumi’s friend has always shipped him with her, despite knowing he has a girlfriend, despite him saying he doesn't appreciate it, that it straight up makes him uncomfortable.

how kizumi knew, that your birthdate was his password to Instagram, he remembers her saying it was so cute, its laughable to think how dumb he has been, how could he not notice her intention. but he wishes you told him, he wishes he could have cleared off the last misunderstanding and if he could take it all back he would.

hell, he would never breath the same air as kizumi if he could go back in time and fix things. but he cannot, all he has is regret and all he can do his atone for his mistake, he was hoping you'd be kind enough to let him see his son, he hasn't been a great partner but he sure as heck wants to have some influence in your son’s life—

after all, it was a part of you and him, back then if he actually heard you were pregnant he'd probably be scared as shit, but he would still fight every odds to raise the kid you made, how could he ever resent a mini you, kuroo knows he has no right to feel wronged but all those years without the little guy or even acknowledgment of his existence makes feel burnt.

his lips shaky and he doesn't know if a explanation would even help at this point, nothing would change and even if kizumi was in wrong– so was he though. his mouth ran before he could know.

he looks up at her. “I know you don’t owe me anything, but there’s something you need to hear" your eyes held anger and he was scared of that, he wanted to scream please forgive me, over and over again in a chant but he knew he didn't deserve your forgiveness.

you crossed your arms, wary but patient. you had no idea how you still held on. but they say but they say old habits die hard, and even after six year you had the same patience for him, you wanted to laugh at yourself “Go on.”

“It was Kizumi,” he begins, voice low but firm. “She… she’s the reason things fell apart. She was jealous of you, of what we had. She deleted your texts that night—the ones you sent me about the announcement. She posted on my social media to make it look like I was with her. And she—”

"You didn't know?" your eyes widened and you had no idea how to feel after hearing that, conflicted feeling filled your lungs and the wall of resolve you have solidified getting cracks of doubt in them, but you remained firm.

“No,” Kuroo says quickly, his voice thick with regret. “I was blind, stupid, and I didn’t see what was happening. I let her control too much. I thought I could trust her. But I swear, if I’d known—” He stops, realizing that no matter what he says, it won’t erase the past.

you stare at him, your face unreadable, but there was turmoil behind your eyes “So, you’re saying it was all her fault?”

“No. No..no.” Kuroo says firmly, shaking his head. “It was my fault too. I let her into my life, I didn’t listen to you, and I didn’t fight for you when it mattered. That’s on me. I just… I need you to know that I didn’t abandon you on purpose.”

you exhale slowly, looking down at you cup, a closure huh? but what does that change ? you know oikawa is much more important to you now, nothing could change that, nothing could make you ever abandon the perfect family you have right now. “I believe you, Tetsuro. But that doesn’t change what happened. You weren’t there when I needed you, and I had to pick up the pieces alone. Oikawa was there. He’s been there for me and for Ruko.”

even if there is a shaky heartbeat you feel around your past lover you know it was not meant to be. there are so many things unsaid and there will be so many things which will be, you are a mom now and you could never be an careless one. and as much as tears were welling up in your eyes for what could have been, you won't risk anything for what it is now.

Kuroo swallows the lump in his throat. “I know. And I’m glad he’s been good to you both. I just… I missed so much, Y/N. I want to know him. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to try.”

bonus scene

Kuroo sits on a bench, watching from a distance as you and Oikawa playing with your son, Ruko. The boy—his son, biologically—has Oikawa’s mannerisms but your smile. Kuroo’s chest tightens as he watches the little boy stumble, only for Oikawa to sweep him up, spinning him around while you laugh.

They look like a family. They are a family

Kuroo thinks to himself, maybe this could have been you both if he wasn't consumed by the thought that you both would also be horrible parents much like your families.

you notice him then, your gaze meeting his. There’s no anger in your eyes anymore, just a quiet understanding. you approach him cautiously, arms crossed. “You’re here,” you speak, trying to keep your tone neutral.

“I just wanted to see him,” Kuroo admits. “I won’t interfere much. I just… needed to see him.”

You sit beside him, keeping a respectful distance. “He’s happy, you know. Oikawa’s a good father. He loves Ruko like he’s his own.” and that breaks kuroo's heart, as much as he tries to look positively at this. He can't help but feel his heart become empty, can't help but wish to be where oikawa is right now in your life.

Kuroo nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I can see that. He’s a lucky kid.” you glance at him, your expression softening. “I know the truth now, about Kizumi. About what happened. I’m… sorry you were caught in that.”

“I’m sorry too,” Kuroo says, his voice breaking. He knows it's not enough but all he can do is regret it over and over again. “For everything. For not being there, for letting you down. I should’ve fought harder for us.” you look away, your gaze fixed on Oikawa and Ruko. “Maybe. But it’s too late now, Tetsuro. We’ve both moved on.” and he feels a bit happy, you used his first name, God he is so pathetic

“I know,” he whispers, his heart breaking all over again. “But I’ll never stop wishing I could go back and do it right.” and before you are able to say anything you notice a small figure approaching you, you feel at ease when you notice it's your son, oikawa stood a bit away, he felt protective over you both but he doesn't want to snatch away the closure you deserve, and he can't snatch away ruko from his biological dad. so he stays silent cause he knows ruko would pick him for sure, he loves the little guy to death after all.

“Ruko, this is… this is Tetsuro,” you say gently, getting up from the bench only to kneel beside your son.

The boy looks up, curious but cautious. “Hi,” he says softly, clutching his toy dinosaur.

Kuroo crouches down, his heart aching as he gets his first close look at his son. Ruko has Y/N’s eyes and his messy black hair. He smiles faintly. “Hey, buddy. That’s a cool dinosaur you’ve got there. What’s his name?”

“Cupcake,” Ruko replies, holding it up proudly.For a moment, Kuroo wants to giggle, pondering why a dinosaur would be named Cupcake, but he holds back, his lips twitching into a soft smile. “Cupcake, huh? That’s a pretty unique name. Why’d you pick it?”

Ruko beams, his small chest puffing up with excitement. “Well—it’s not weird, okay? It’s ’cause I love dinosaurs and I love Mom’s handmade cupcakes, so I mixed two favorite things at once!”

Kuroo freezes for a moment, his breath catching in his throat. Cupcakes. His gaze flickers briefly to you, you who look away, your expression unreadable. He remembers countless nights when he’d come over to your place, exhausted from work or practice, and the smell of your freshly baked cupcakes would make him feel like he was home. They were his favorite—a sweet, simple treat that reminded him of your warmth.

And now, their son shares that same love.“That’s… that’s actually genius,” Kuroo finally says, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Cupcake is the perfect name for a dinosaur. You’ve got great taste.”

Ruko grins proudly, going on to describe Cupcake’s many adventures and how he takes the toy everywhere. Kuroo listens intently, his heart clenching. There’s an ache beneath his chest—a mix of pride, love, and regret. He and Ruko have so much in common, and yet, this is the first time he’s learning it.

The realization stings, and he resents you a bit for that but it also fills him with a bittersweet joy. Ruko is bright, imaginative, and full of life. He’s a part of you and him—a reminder of what you both once had. And kuroo decides he can live with that. That's enough for now isn't it?

Finally ending this series, I get embarrassed whenever I reread it but it was my first series and it has been in my drafts for years. But here I ending, thank you for everyone who waited for this.

Here is the taglist (it's based on people who were waiting for it) : @reikashe @mikaela26sstuff @chita318 @mxrice @freddiemylovelg @glxar @amarinthe @rinsangel @captainchrisstan @gamacha @cheeseriz @pluviophilefangirl @bnha-bakusquad @asaitashi @lordmomourmomoness @missyasmim @macky-attoh @belle643 @on-crows-wings

[binsito]

Kitty, what're your thots on pervy stepbro!skz? Cause just thinking about it has me going woozi (hehe)

AHHHHHHHHH (those are my thots)

cw: stepcest!!!!!!! dni if uncomfortable, i warned you. proceed with caution,

slight voyeurism/exhibitionism (or mentions of it), mentions of drinking, masturbation, dirty fantasies involving the reader, sex and oral sex (or suggestive scenarios involving it), slightttt noncon situations due to pervertedness, mentions of assplay, cum, all characters are adults who's parents got married later on in their lives (thought i'd clarify just in case). i think i hit the major ones, pls lmk if i missed anything super important

okay bye

bangchan: he is soo sweet. he's incredibly helpful around the house, always offering to clean the dishes after dinner. your mom absolutely loves him. he's perfect, minus his one dirty little habit of asking you to help with the chores. it's not like he needs the help, he just gets a little excited when he sees you bend down to pick something up or go through the laundry because he gets a peek of your pretty thong.

'two of us get things done quicker' he usually says, and of course you don't mind helping him, he's fun to talk to and you also have to carry some of your own weight if you're going to keep living with your mom while attending college.

'i'll treat you for helpin' out' but what he really wants to say is he'll fuck you up against the laundry room's door. couldn't you get the hint? his cock was always rock hard around you, it was painfully obvious. couldn't you hear him through the walls fisting himself while you were both home alone? he didn't care to be quiet at all and he knew you were just choosing to be oblivious.

he was so good! why couldn't you just reward him? he mows the lawn, cooks if he has to, throws out the trash. the least you could do was give your sweet stepbrother your mouth to use around his cock after a long day of hardwork around the house!

and he hates the way you're licking the ice cream he got you for helping. hates the way you look at him and giggle because he knows you know what you're doing to him.

minho: he was bored out of his mind at the wedding reception for your parents. at least his dad was happy for once.

he glanced over and watched you order a drink from the bar, sipping it as you looked towards him. he quickly looked away and chuckled to himself, hoping you didn't notice how his eyes trailed down as he checked you out in your pretty dress. would it be disrespectful to put moves on his new stepsister?

he could ask you to dance, right?

he made his way over to you and leaned against the bar, smiling towards you.

"could i have the pleasure of dancing with you?"

you giggled at him and waved him off, explaining to him that you were to shy to dance.

"well then let's go somewhere private where no one can see us?"

the implications of his words made you flustered. this was your step brother now. did he mean his words in that sense or were you reading into it too much?

(he definitely meant his words suggestively.)

his eyes basically undressing you as you swallowed thickly. he could take you to the family restroom and no one would even know the two of you were missing.

he could easily slip past the huge blend of both families and fuck you outside behind all the cars.

he could make you hold his cum the whole night until your parents went their separate way to their honeymoon together. you could have the whole house to yourselves, fuck on every surface imaginable and no one would ever have a clue.

changbin: he's normally shy, very respectful. very gym oriented - going as far as setting up all his equipment in the garage with your dad's permission. you were interested in his work out routine, asking him if you could join him one day.

he didn't know why that made him so flustered, sputtering while he talked to you and letting you know it was perfectly fine that you used his stuff and joined him. you were surprised how disciplined he was, how heavy he could lift. he was trying hard to keep his composure, trying hard to push down the thoughts he was having of you spotting him.

the idea of you basically straddling his head while he benched was making him see stars. or what if he had you bench press? what if he was the one straddling your head, having you look up at him and see how his cock protruded from his gym shorts, the obvious outline giving away how hard he was.

what if he had you do russian deadlifts, coming up behind you to help with your form, cock brushing up against your ass while he tried explaining how to position yourself properly.

all changbin wanted to do was hold you open over him while he laid on the bench, licking at your cunt eagerly. all he wanted was to take you from behind while you tried to finish doing cable tricep pushdowns.

keyword on tried because he wanted to make sure he'd leave you dumb enough to even forget what number set you were even on.

hyunjin: hyunjin started to catch feelings well after your parents got married, you two just clicked, friendship quickly burning into something so much more.

but he knew you probably wouldn't feel the same, would probably be grossed out by him if he told you he loved you. he didn't want to ruin the family dynamic so he kept his feelings harbored deep within himself.

but his heart absolutely shattered when you brought another boy home, begging him to not tell your mom because you weren't sure if she'd approve of him.

all his hope of maybe one day confessing to you was thrown out the window. did he read you wrong? he could've sworn that maybe there was something there..

and he couldn't sleep that night, tossing and turning as he heard you through the walls, giggling with that other guy and hushing him. warning him that although your parents weren't home - hyunjin was.

but the hushes and scolding did nothing because hyunjin could still hear everything clearly. how you kissed him sloppily, how the bed shifted when he climbed on top of you, how you gasped out when he pressed his cock inside of you.

hyunjin closed his eyes tightly and to save himself from his misery, he pretended it was him between your legs, his hand reaching down to touch himself as he listened in on the both of you. he pretended it was his name that you were chanting. he took note of the pitches of your moans, how they got higher when you were about to cum, how breathy and incoherent you became.

he would do anything to see how your face twisted with pleasure.

at least he could pretend to be the one to bring you to your peak whenever he heard you through the walls.

jisung: living with jisung was definitely something to get used to. unfortunately with the sudden growth of your new family, there was not enough space for both of you to get your own room. you'd be sharing a space until your parents found an adequate place.

jisung didn't mind but you clearly did. having to share the en suite bathroom in the mornings was a challenge.

why did he have to take so long in the damn bathroom?

"jisung! c'mon i'm gonna be late, can't you please hurry up!?"

he always managed to beat you to the bathroon, always waking up early to start his day.

what you didn't know is he was taking care of his aching cock in the shower, fisting himself to the image of you sleeping soundly. he had gotten bold lately, picking the sheets carefully off your body to get a peek at your body, tugging your sleeping shorts to the side to reveal your panties, moving them aside to finally be met with your cunt.

how was it so wet?

could he give it a lick?

he didn't want to be caught.

rubbing himself through his shorts until he couldn't take it anymore, rushing to the bathroom to chase his release.

felix: he knew he shouldn't but he just couldn't help it.

watching you from his bedroom window inconspicuously as you tanned by the pool in your backyard. you looked so pretty, so unaware that he was jerking himself to the sight of you in a skimpy bathing suit. that dumb bikini top leaving little to the imagination, it wasn't your fault you didn't want annoying tan lines. he watched intently as you turned face down in the lounge chair, reaching behind you to untie the straps of your bikini top so they wouldn't leave a pesky mark. you were basically naked, your tits were basically on display for him, couldn't you just sit up and show him? flash him really quickly so he could finish in his hand?

it was torture - having to watch you from afar when he wanted to be down there with you. would you quickly cover up if he were to go join you? or would you barely acknowledge him and continue to enjoy the sun? would you ask him to reapply sunscreen on you? would you let his hands wander, trailing down to your ass to massage them? would you protest if he pulled your thong down or would you let him play with your ass a little?

he wanted you bad.

spurting cum all over himself and making a mess as he let out a loud groan, it must've been loud enough for you to hear and look up from your spot, making eye contact with him through his blinds.

goddammit.

seungmin: your mom wouldn't let you go out to that dumb frat party unless seungmin tagged along and drove you there.

you agreed because you didn't want to lose the opportunity to go talk to that football player you had the hots for.

seungmin thought it was funny, watching you fix your makeup one last time in his car's mirror. there was nothing to fix, you looked perfect in his humble opinion.

he knew you wanted to go to this party because of that guy, he wasn't fond of him at all. you were too good for him and in all honesty, seungmin wanted you for himself.

he wanted you to be his but it was complicated given the fact that your mom was married to his dad.

his advances didn't go unnoticed when he laid his hand on your inner thigh as he drove. impulse thoughts racing through his mind - what if he just turned around right now and took you in his backseat? he wanted to make you forget about that stupid jock.

"minnie?" snapping him out of his thoughts at a red light.

"you're quiet." you choose to say instead of bringing attention to the obvious hand on your thigh

"sorry, just thinking about the one hundred ways i could fuck you and how it would be so much better than that guy you're pining after." he speaks up, driving towards a turn lane to make a u-turn.

jeongin: he always thought you were pretty.

he had seen you around campus but was always too shy to approach you. how would he even start a conversation with you. when his mom told him she had found someone new, he was excited for her but the last thing he ever expected was for the 'someone' to be your father.

you, the girl he so helplessly daydreamed of was soon to be part of his family.

he didn't know if this was a blessing or a curse.

could he push down all the thoughts he's had of you or would he fail miserably. how was he ever supposed to tell you he liked you now?

when your families decided to spend the holidays together, he knew he was going to struggle. cock hard in his slacks as he watched you reapply some lip gloss that had gotten wiped as you drank wine and talked to people.

he felt hopeless.

he decided that socializing would be too much for him in this state of mind so he snuck upstairs, finding his way into your room.

there was a picture of you on your vanity, a pretty bow adorning your hair as you smiled widely. jeongin wanted to make you smile like that, wanted to tell you how gorgeous he thought you were but soon his thoughts became dirty, imagining how he wanted you to smear your lip gloss all over his shaft, peppering his cock with delicate kisses.

he shoved a hand into his pants and pulled his cock out, stroking it gently as he grabbed the photo with his free hand.

fuck, you were perfect to him.. the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

his brain became foggy, only thinking about you and you only as he pumped himself-

"jeongin?" you stood at your door, he nearly jumps out of skin, pathetically cumming all over your photo, face burning hot as he looks over at you.

oh fuck, how was he ever going to live this down? how would he even explain this predicament?

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

[clancycatears]

∂яαgση яι∂єя нєα∂¢αησηѕ — WITH TASK FORCE 141

AUTHOR'S NOTE: hi. i rewatched the original how to train your dragon, and recently saw the new live-action film adaption. just went on a whim and thought of what the boys' dragons would be if they were dragon riders in the series! gonna stick to four each, because there's like... 150-ish different species of dragons out there. this is all coming from a loyal school of dragons player, so i hope i deliver! do i make a bonus post with everyone else? perhaps…

Dragons with the color orange are what I believe to be the character's primary companion! All links are to the dragon's page on the How to Train Your Dragon Wiki if you're interested! [1.2k words]

JOHN PRICE

John definitely specializes in dragons that display great stoicism and leadership! He and his dragon could make the perfect authoritative pair, while also being soft and collected when they want to be! So yes, I gave him both Hiccup's mom and dad's dragons. Like c'mon, they suit him! You can't tell me he isn't giving Stoic, can you??? Both the leader of Task Force 141, and the island of Berk! But I can also see him blacksmithing with Johnny and dabbling in armoring! Taking inspiration from one of the dragons here definitely gets the gears turning for him.

CRIMSON GOREGUTTER. That thing is BEEFY. Like comparable to John’s strength. The two would make a crazy, powerful, bulky duo. And those horns (antlers)? Clear show of authority and a perfect bulletproof shield for its handler.

RAZORWHIP. Not only a bulletproof shield, but a living, breathing, double-edged sword. Weapons and hazards literally ricochet off of this thing’s scales. John studies the Razorwhip especially for that reason! Wants to keep his boys safe and make them armor that resembles it!

RUMBLEHORN. Stoic’s dragon. Enough said there, but this thing’s rough and tough like John, too! Not quite as defensive and reliable as the Crimson Goregutter, but just imagine getting stepped on or rammed by this thing??? And those HORNS? Better keep your distance, or you’re going straight to the infirmary.

STORMCUTTER. Valka’s dragon, and my personal favorite species of all time! It’s as beautiful as it is dangerous. Like, c’mon, can’t say no to those eyes! Just as satisfying as a sight as John’s silly little bear smile. But be careful. The thing’s saliva is flammable, like John’s sharp tongue. The perfect pair for sure.

SIMON RILEY

I think all of these options speak for themselves. Dangerous, deadly, and most are a legend among Berk in the series! They display power and strength equal to that of their handler, and undying loyalty to match Simon's! So no, not all of these are because they have "bone" or "death" in their names, but because they're powerful and perseverant. (But the names were definitely an inspiration. LMAO.) Totally the type of guy to be a nurse towards the dragons! Caring for them when they're injured or sick, further strengthening his bond with his (not-so-little) friends.

BONEKNAPPER. This thing’s made the bones of the dragons they’ve killed into its own armor, while Simon’s dug himself out from the grave. They’re meant for each other because of that alone. And they have matching skulls! Cute. Hehe.

NIGHT FURY. “[…] Never shows itself. Never misses.” DIRECT MOVIE QUOTE. DIRECT. QUOTE. That thing is literally a living sniper, fits The Ghost™ perfectly. Dark, foreboding, yet agile when it fights. I imagine Simon sporting a full black set of armor to blend into the night with it, too.

SILVER PHANTOM. One of the fastest dragons alive. Like borderline comparable to the Night Fury—maybe even swift cartridges. Perfect to camouflage through white or gray groups of clouds because of its colors, too! Perfect high ground for Simon to take advantage of (since he uses a bow and arrow for sure). And c’mon, does that thing not also look like a ghost?

WHISPERING DEATH. Do you see that thing? I think if I were to ever face a Whispering Death, I’d faint and probably die. That thing looks SCARY. But in all honesty, they’d be the softest out of the bunch. Like some would watch Simon give the thing chin scratches with their jaws on the floor.

JOHN MACTAVISH

Johnny definitely handles the more chaotic dragons out of the bunch. Like I swear, if I were doing two-headed (or more) dragons, he'd absolutely pair up with Kyle on a Hideous Zippleback or with Simon on a Snaptrapper, but we're sticking to individuals right now. Like personally, Johnny is LITERALLY the embodiment of Snotlout, so that's why the dude's very own dragon is in this list! Out of the group, he'd be the blacksmith. I imagine he makes the crazy big axes and maces for the lot. (He personally uses a huuuge battle axe.)

MONSTROUS NIGHTMARE. Pairing Johnny up with a dragon that can light itself on fire is a dangerous combo. Lethal duo indeed. And John, being the overprotective father figure that he is, will be making his boy a fireproof set of armor to keep him safe! Johnny and his dragon would definitely fuck around with fire 24/7, too.

SCAULDRON. Quite the opposite compared to the Monstrous Nightmare. The thing shoots boiling hot water from its maw, it can fly, and it can swim. This is why we should fear the ocean, and Johnny, because he and his Scauldron absolutely dominate a fight from the water. And I just think the two of them look silly together. LMAO.

SKRILL. Okay, I guess I have a thing with Johnny handling dragons that control nature's elements. The Skrill doesn't breathe fire or boil water in its mouth, it spits fucking lightning. And it literally rides on thunderstorms to accelerate? Are you kidding? Johnny would have a ball with this one. But in all seriousness, he and Simon are using the darkness of storm clouds to their advantage.

THORNRIDGE. Much like Johnny, the Thornridge has the most stamina out of the other dragons on this list, and lots of endurance! Sure, its abilities are a bit basic (straying from using the elements to its advantage), but it's a very reliable species. Able to fly great distances and handle excessive damage without breaking a sweat. The two would make a great match!

KYLE GARRICK

Kyle "Pretty Boy" Garrick™ handles the beautiful, majestic, graceful dragons 100%. If I liked the Light Fury just a little more, she'd be on this list, but I didn't want to get too basic on dragons from the main franchise, considering the handful I have here already. Kyle would definitely be the saddlemaker of the bunch! Making pretty saddles for every one of his teammates, while putting extra care into the ones he makes for his dragons to display his skills in the art of matching colors and shapes into his handiwork. Biggest fashion icon in Berk.

DEADLY NADDER. Kyle is literally an Astrid encarnate (diva status and fashion statements and all), so of course I had to include her dragon here! Sporting all sorts of pretty colors and deadly tactics (projectile tail spikes? hello?), Kyle would definitely put its abilities to good use!

DEATH SONG. Okay, besides the Stormcutter, the Death Song is like—my second favorite species in the franchise (and my go-to dragon when I played School of Dragons, lmao), so I had to give it to Kyle! Literally a siren in dragon form, with the ability to shoot an amber-like substance to trap opponents in place. Perfect for luring the baddies in without a tussle. (And it's just a pretty species. Like. Look at it.)

SAND WRAITH. Probably the least known species out of every single one I've covered here (it's in School of Dragons more than the actual franchise). Yes, I picked it because it's pretty, but also because of its use of camouflage! Similar build to the Night Fury, too, so it's incredibly agile and steadfast in battle.

TIMBERJACK. This thing literally cuts down trees with a single swipe of its wings, so you definitely do not want to go up against one in battle. While its wings look fragile, they're actually quite the opposite! They're huge and make the perfect shield when used for it. I can imagine Kyle dolling it up with more protective gear, though, just to be sure.

[bbokicidal]

Slashers - OT8 [SKZ]

Disclaimers : Just a small post I thought would be fun to make. Also - this is all just for GOOD FUN for the month of October and spooky season. These killers are nasty and awful and we all know that - I am in no way saying the Stray Kids members are represented by these slashers (who are fictional characters remember) and I do not mean to say 'they're exactly like these awful people.' because that's just dumb. Don't go thinking that now. C'mon. Common sense.

Warnings : None really, just horror movie slashers included

If you want a part two of the members as other horror movie characters (maybe finals girls/guys or more recent characters?) lmk!

Bangchan : Michael Myers [Halloween]

Honestly mostly just picked this because of his physique and the way I am so wildly attracted to both of them. But I also just think Chan's got that Lowkey scary dad stance down. Also the way he stands back to watch others. Yes, I know it's lovey dovey towards the group but imagine him as Michael just stalking the others?????? (Why's it kinda hot,,,)

He'd spent months planning his first attack. Hours standing, staring, figuring out the habits and movements of his younger friends until he had all of their mannerisms in his head - memorized like the veins in the back of his hand. He knew who was the weakest link. Who he shouldn't target. Who would be easy to mark off the list. Jisung just had back luck being the first name he put down on his notepad.

Chan as Michael Myers, my beloved.

Lee Know : Billy 'Ghostface' Loomis [Scream]

The actually scary one who's full of determination and purpose. The one who actually gets the job done. The one who does it and does it well. Also, wildly sexy. So. I think Minho fits Billy Loomis best because he can be cunning, secretive, but also charming and wild at the same time. We love him.

Minho wasn't stupid - not like his accomplice. He let Jisung distract people - be the life of the party while he himself lured Felix out to the garage to get a beer or two. He dismissed himself, saying he forgot something in the house, before coming back only to find Felix frightened at first sight and scrambling to escape the outer part of the home. And he felt little remorse as he watched Felix try to squirm out through the doggy door - his thumb clicking the switch to make the garage door slowly raise.

Minho as Billy Loomis, hehe.

Changbin : Pyramid Head [Silent Hill]

Not a 'classic slasher' because he's not the main villain of the story but EASILY the best pic for Changbin because WHEWIE those arms. Also?? Changbin dragging around a giant knife and just picking people up by their necks? Good GAWD. Pyramid Head Binnie (shirtless,, Binnie,,,,,) is a need for me.

He was just there - existing. Wandering. Dragging his knife around until the ground cracked and broke under the weight as he walked. He was just... there. Until someone appeared - a pretty boy with long brunette hair that fought for his life in this hellhole of a place. Someone for him to wander after. Someone for him to target.

Changbin as Pyramid Head <3

Hyunjin : Chucky [Chucky]

Honestly mainly just picked this one because 1) Hyunjin as a doll would be wild lol, and 2) Hyunjin who looks so cute and precious and like a normal man at first but ends up being a wild fucking mass murderer?? That would be,, actually so fitting because he's such a cutie at first and then gets on stage and it's like WHOHOAH--

Finding his soul trapped in the body of a doll was the last thing he wanted to happen after his death - but Hyunjin found that this doll was a lot more flexible than he expected. He could curl his fingers, move his eyes, talk even. It was just like his body before - only harder to break, and a lot... smaller.

Anyway, Hyunjin as Chucky. Also red hair Hyunjin supremacy, I said what I said.

Han : Stu "Ghostface" Macher [Scream]

The silly one that keeps messing up. The one who works hard but still somehow fumbles it. The one that needs help. The one who really got roped into it just because he's massively gay for his best friend.

After botching another murder and making a pact with his friend to frame the girl for their killings, Jisung dug the blade into his friend before Minho did the same. He clutched his stomach and fell to the counter, only moving to grip the phone as it rang just beside his head. He sobbed out another gasp that his parents would be so disappointed in him - another babble from Jisung that Minho didn't have time to deal with.

Jisung as Stu Macher, aka the gay icon of the scream series, everyone.

Felix : Tiffany Valentine [Chucky]

Definitely did not pick this bc of his hair. (oops) Anyway. Just there for the shits n giggles, does it for the person he loves and adores so dearly. Didn't even initially mean to be a part of it but got pulled into it somehow anyway lol. Also an absolute baddie.

How'd he get here? He wasn't too sure. What he did know was that he was glued to his best friend for the rest of his life now, trapped in the small but definitely not fragile bodies of dolls for eternity. He was happy to be there, if he was honest, just enjoying being everlasting with someone he adored. Even if he was put into the body of a ... woman? Well. Doll-Woman.

Felix as Tiffany Valentine. ~

Seungmin : Jason Voorhees [Friday The 13th]

Seungmin as a reoccurring character who experienced nothing but tragedy in his past and now comes back to his place of 'death' every year to haunt people who get so much as a fucking mile from him. LOOOOVE this idea. Love the image of Seungmin just hovering around a Summer Camp and lurking like a little creeper. Also Seungmin with a machete is too much for me, cannot. I gotta go.

Seungmin enjoyed lurking around the camp if he was honest. He found himself feeling joy in watching the camp-goers wander around so clueless as to the tragedy that occurred in the waters they swam in, playing and having too much for his liking. No - He didn't feel joy in watching them have fun. He felt joy in hearing their screams the following night when he made them aware of his presence; when he showed them the truth that lay in the grounds of that poor Summer Camp.

Seungmin as Jason Voorhees. ;))

I.N : Pennywise [IT]

Not a classic slasher yet again BUT one of the best in my personal opinion. (It's one of my fav horror movies so.) I think Jeongin fits Pennywise because of his teasing nature, the way he finds it funny when he irks his hyungs, etc. I also think he has a relatively short -- temper? Temper might not be the right word. Maybe patience is right. He's impatient and if he doesn't get what he wants, he'll snap. Also the idea of shapeshifter Jeongin?? Torturing people by showing up as their literal living nightmares? Yum yum yum.

Jeongin was hungry. Starved, even. Twenty seven years after falling into a slumber, he'd awoke under a quaint town that offered up so many delicious meal options - which included a very pretty man more muscular than the others - who, conveniently, was a bit of a scaredy cat.

Jeongin as Pennywise !!

-

Taglist : @dwaekkicidal @jabmastersurpriseee @possum-playground @thatonedarkskinnedsiren

[wayward-dreamer]

Hi, I was wondering if you could write a story where soilder boy is dating Y/n, and they start talking, and he asks her if she thinks he would be a good dad. Which leads to them talking about starting a family together. And then one of them says something along the lines of "Why don't we try now?" Then it turns into smut. If not it's okay, thanks!

Father Material

Pairing: Soldier Boy x F!Reader

Word count: 1,468

Summary: Curiosity from the public and media has Ben expressing his dream to be a father. Y/N wants to make his dream a reality.

Warnings: Swearing, some angst, mentions of SB's nefarious actions, smut: dirty talk, rough sex, breeding kink.

A/N: This request has been in my inbox forever, so I apologise for long it took! I hope you like it Layla! Happy reading! :) Thanks to my besties/betas @hintsofhoney and @makeadealwithdean for looking over this. Sorry not sorry for killing you hehe

also there's plenty more Soldier Boy content on the way because apparently I've become an SB smut dealer lmaooo

“Do you think I’d make a good father?”

That was the question that sparked the sex marathon they had been in for hours now. Given that he was a supe, Soldier Boy had the stamina for withstanding just about anything, and if he had it his way he could probably last well into the night. She on the other hand was flagging quickly, the downside of being 100% human, but she really couldn’t bring herself to tell him to stop. Not when he always knew just how to make her toes curl and her body quake with euphoric bliss. He may have known what buttons to push to get her going, but that didn’t mean their encounters were predictable. They were far from it, and that day was no exception.

The day started out like any other. He had meetings with hero management, followed by filming a commercial for Cracker Jack, which then led to interviews with different channels. She finally stepped out of their penthouse that night to join him on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, draped in an emerald green dress to match his suit, complete with gold accessories. Usually interviews weren’t really her favorite thing to do, but being America’s golden couple meant that they needed to be seen in public in order to keep that status. So they did what they always did. They laughed and joked with quick-witted Carson, charmed the audience and made the nation fall deeper for them with each caress of a hand or sweet kiss. Some may have thought it was just for the cameras, those cynical spectators that didn’t have any business commenting on what goes on behind closed doors, but they both knew the truth about their relationship.

They were in love. They had been since the moment he propositioned her in the elevator of the Vought American building, leading to one of the wildest nights she had ever had. Most would call it lust, but when you understood someone on a deeper level like they both did, it was most definitely love. A warped, messed up kind of love, but nonetheless, that’s what it was. She wasn’t stupid; she knew the kind of man he was, what he had to do during the war, and in Vought’s name since he joined their roster. She knew there were some off the books black ops missions he had gone on, even if she didn’t know the details. She heard the rumors about Dealey Plaza, too. She knew that he was fucked up despite his God fearing, all-American persona for the public, but she didn’t care.

In order to love someone like that, she had to be a little fucked up too. Well, more than a little.

Despite distracting everyone with their incredible charisma, questions of settling down and starting a family came up, and she knew she had to think of an answer fast when she saw Ben’s face go blank. With her biggest grin, she turned to Carson and said “Well, if anything happens Johnny, you’ll be the first to know!” They covered it up with hearty laughs as the audience joined in, along with the host, before he thanked them for their time to raucous applause.

The drive back to the Vought building was quiet, her concern growing for him until his words: “Do you think I’d make a good father?” broke the silence.

“Why do you ask?” she questioned in return, softly as to not scare him from broaching the subject.

“That fucking Carson,” he muttered, staring out the window at the bright lights. “I just… I guess he got me thinkin’, that’s all. Forget it.”

She wasn’t going to. She knew there was something he wanted to tell her, something he wanted of her, and she needed to know what it was.

“Thinking about what?”

“Thinkin’ about… about how I’d do it better than my father ever did,” he confessed. “We’d make some perfect fucking kids, that’s for damn sure.”

She smiled softly, her hand curling over his as she slid across the backseat and pressed herself against his side. She nuzzled her nose along his jaw, leaving small kisses along his stubble as she reached his ear, her breath fanning against the shell as she whispered her own desire to do the same.

“Then let’s start right now.”

And that was how they found themselves in their bedroom twenty minutes later, with her holding herself up on her quivering hands and knees as he pounded into her from behind, his fingers digging into her skin with a bruising hold as his pelvis smacked against the curve of her ass. He had contorted her into every position possible since then for the last couple of hours, with barely a few minutes to breathe between each romp in the sheets. She had lost track of how many positions, and she was about to lose count of how many times he had spilled inside her, both of them getting closer to that release once more.

“Oh god, oh god!” she moaned wantonly, her forehead pressed against the mattress as her hands fisted the sheets. She was completely unbothered about how loud she was and the fact that people had probably heard them by now.

“No need to bring him into this, doll,” he chuckled, the sound broken up by his groans of pleasure. “Just me and you here…”

“You’re so fucking cheesy,” she mumbled, a guttural whimper escaping her at a particularly angled thrust against her g-spot.

“You fucking love it,” he countered, smirking as he suddenly pulled out of her.

Ignoring her whine of protest, Soldier Boy flipped her over onto her back and grabbed her legs, bending her in half as her calves rested on his shoulders, sliding back into her tight heat with a quick, hard thrust. The sounds that left them were nothing short of pornographic, as he began to pick up the pace with each push of his hips against her. He squeezed his eyes shut as her walls clenched around his throbbing cock, both of them balancing on the edge of their blissful climax, ready to go over at any minute.

“So fucking good, so fucking perfect, Y/N,” he growled, their faces close as he leaned over her. “You love the way I fuck you, don’t ya?”

“Yes!” she cried out, nodding frantically as she stared up into his green orbs. “Love the way you fuck me… you fuck me so good, Ben. So deep, and hard, wanna feel it for days.”

“Oh you will, sugar,” he groaned, between rough kisses against her lips. “Gonna fill you up, make you feel so full, make you full and round with my babies. You want that?”

“Yeah,” she breathed.

“Fuck, yeah you do,” he husked. “Tell me, tell me you want it.”

“I want it, I want it so bad, Ben,” she whimpered, the sound practically a sob with how desperate she was to finally let go. “I want you to fill me up, give it to me.”

“Cum for me, doll, soak my cock,” he said, looking deep into her eyes.

Y/N finally felt the dam breaking as a loud, shrieking moan escaped her, her walls contracting around his shaft as her arousal spread over him. He grunted loudly, his hips snapping harder against her, as he tried to hold himself back. His eyes fluttered, about to close, but her hands on his face stopped him, making him pay attention to her as their gazes locked. As she had with each time he had reached his peak that night, she stroked her thumbs along his jaw, slowly nodding her encouragement and desire to feel his seed deep inside her.

“S-Say it,” he stuttered, his neck straining as he held on just a little longer. “Fuckkk, s-say it-”

She bit her lip, knowing how it drove him crazy, before she parted them and uttered the words that sent him over the edge at the end of round that night.

“You’re gonna be a great dad… better than your own.”

Soldier Boy threw his head back, the veins in his neck pressing against his skin as he let out a guttural moan, his cock pulsing deep inside her tight canal. She moaned softly as she felt the warm spurts of his cum coat her walls, filling her up as he had done several times that night already. They both breathed heavily, trying to calm their racing hearts, neither of them wanting to move away from the other. He buried his face in her neck, planting soft pecks along her pulse point, bringing a smile to her face as they basked in the afterglow.

Both of them hoped that it wouldn’t be too much longer before their dream became a reality.

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEREAD: WAKFU, THE GREAT WAVE [TOME 2, Chapters 1-6]

Wow it sure has been a while and a mental health episode and a cancellation and a blocking 20 people and a failed attempt at translating a book (I WILL! I PROMISE! AFTER I WRITE MY COURSE PAPER) since my last post huh.

...Oh well. It's a good thing I waited because we got some nice info I can share here.

And yes, I skipped chapters 1 and 2 of this tome. I am here mostly for julith and crepinjurgens, not Tot's wild ride.

All I can say about chapter 3 is that I think Julith's ressurection was probably not a perfect one. I think she might just be a mindless puppet. It doesn't feel... normal, that she should stop like this; while my commentary on chapter 4 stops at my surprise for the new nickname for 'Salar. It's nice to finally have an official one, hehe.

Now to the meat and potatoes of this blog.

The fucking gasp I gusped reading this. Sorry I mean sorry I mean sorry I mean. "my little salesman" hes so... It's unbearable how he is. It's genuinely so hard. I wish I had commentary on what exactly this makes me feel, but you needed to be inside my head all those months ago to fully get it. He's calling the 600yo guy that pretends to be his dad his little salesman. If I was joris i'd just take us both out...

I'm still waiting for the long awaited long predicted Joris Jurgen crashout, chat. btw I love how the translators didn't even bother with any onamatopoeia or quirky text. Like Sure. Everyone in the world knows what bonfll and hé mean.

Joris... kill them. and be reincarnated as a lotus flower.

I will be the first to say that it'll be sad if Tot forgot the ecaflip reincarnation lore of his own franchise. but for now im choosing to read this as just cute banter.

Cutie patootie...

For a while I hoped that maybe we'd finally see and example of a k0--mortal character we knew reincarnating and ngl, I really hope this is like... some sort of a next life for Lilotte? All that reincarnation lore just not to implement it for angst purposes feels like a waste.

It's probably not lilotte even in spirit, but a man can dream jdlgdlg.

Honestly.... im mostly screenshotting this here bc I feel like this is a nice screenshot to ref from. sjgdkljfg

I wish I had more to say but they're so nice... And also, I wonder if they saw this ouginak. Shouldn't they be freaking tf out too? Unless, as always Tot Forgot. Oh well.

Big fan of Joris being haunted

Also a big fan of Kerubim being haunted

Inside me are two wolves. One of them thinks using orphan mistreatment as a plot point is extremely cliche. Another wolf thinks Joris's love might turn all these orphans into post-waven's military supersolders which would make my jokes about him being "training and conscripting orphans" level of evil literally real.

It would be so awesome. It would be so cool.

To my knowledge, this is the first time Joris's surname is dropped in Wakfu.

I feel a bit bad for thinking this, but Joris saving the orphans is still a bit cliche. I hope it goes somewhere more interesting later. Like him imparting some insane beliefs onto those kids.

IVE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS THAT joris wouldn't want to be called master outside of work. I think he prefers just "Joris" when it comes to kids and housekeepers.

I love his impulsive idealism. Genuinely. he WOULD pick up random orphans and be like "you live with me now".

This also confirms to me that crepinjurgens are rich as hell. Though we already kinda knew that.

SHE LOOKS SO SMUG hjghskjdghsdg... While Joris is still the cutest ever.

I love to see happiness vaporate from his eyes.

also ATCHAM AND KERUBIM ATCHAM AND KERUBIM worried worried atcham and kerubim. <33 HEART.

...

Sorry I didn't have any in-depth commentary. I'm not sorry for my absence of translation struggles though sgjfgd. I've been very unhappy in this fandom, and had a very unhealthy relationship with it, so I've been working to change that. I wish I could say more about what I meaan exactly, but it's quite boring honestly. Then there's the fact that modern Krosmoz kinda sucks ass (yet all the people who concentrate on it sucking ass are mostly unbearable and annoying despite being objectively right).

If you're still here, and consider me a friend or a mutual, thank you for sticking around. Even if just for this blog! You don't have to follow my personal accounts to be my friend or mutual.

[yamball]

Hi! I noticed a few wondering about some of the Kraken Lore and I have spent far too much time in my life gathering narratives. So here is my gift to those tuning in! Please help me unload what’s gathered in my brain.

And friends, we absolutely need to start with a left wing, first round draft pick, sensitive starry-eyed boy who is haunted by the narratives and his shy demeanor.

Jared McCann

(📸)

A note about sources: originally, I stated this information was google-able because I was just spilling out knowledge…this kinda took off a little SO!

Jan 2024: I’ve since compiled my sources and added more links. If you don’t see a link, it’s because the quote or information comes from from these interviews, and his portion of Beneath the Surface, beginning around 8:30. All three cover multiple time periods and are more longform, so I did not link them in particular. If there’s anything you’d like a source for specifically, feel free to DM or reply, and I’ll find it to the best of my abilities!

And a note about this info: this is not exhaustive. It is curated to craft the narratives. And oh babey are there a lot.

Childhood & Juniors (📸)

Born on May 31, 1996 in Stratford, Ontario, the youngest of four siblings. His parents adopted his older brother and the other siblings were very surprising, as his mom has had complications from MS for a long time (she also can’t watch his games because the stress triggers painful flare-ups for her)

Jared grew up on a farm, which included a pond that would freeze over in the winter, allowing him somewhere to skate for free. He spent summers working with his dad in their construction business, not going to all those fancy hockey skills camps.

He still has the same group of friends from childhood.

Grew up cheering mostly for the Los Angeles Kings (he liked the purple uniforms) (precious boy) (and NOT the hometown Leafs hehe!). He noted his favorite player was Jeff Carter…remember this.

Had posters of both Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby in his childhood bedroom. Huge Sid guy

In 2012, he’s selected fourth overall in the OHL Priority Selection to play with the Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds. He is drafted, of course, by their GM Kyle Dubas. (This is important. Trust me)

He’s very good. However, in his first year of OHL playoffs, in Game 1, he’s checked so hard that he’s taken out of the game by an ambulance. He can’t rejoin his team and they lose the series.

Vancouver Canucks (📸)

Jared McCann is selected in the first round, 24th overall in the 2014 NHL Draft by the Vancouver Canucks.

In his first interview following the selection, he admits he hadn’t expected the Canucks and “it is what it is.” He is nervous and he word vomits as a teenager. That’s all.

This will haunt him.

Immediately after he makes the team for the 2015-16 season, he seems to disconnect from the team. He will later say that he felt so shy and nervous about others that he just didn’t say anything.

His exact quote about the locker room: “Being that age — I was scared. I was terrified to talk to them, to ask them questions.”

But the team will take this quiet nature and his unfortunate interview answer to mean he thinks he’s better than all of them. A teammate will say he acts like “a lonely star” and a mother of another teammate will note that she likes everyone “except for that little 19-year-old.” (X)

Despite all of this happening behind the scenes, he enters the NHL.

He scores his first as a Canuck in a Young Stars Classic game, in the pre-season. And he hugs the referee.

He stays up for nine games and then it’s time to test if he (and a fellow rookie, J*ke Virtanen 🤢) are going to stay up or head back to Juniors. The coach rips into both of them in front of the team, detailing video moments where they’ve messed up and need to improve. He leaves the room. Then Jared’s new teammates (who he was scared of, remember) continue to rip into the kids, saying things like “if you’re gonna be on my line…” etc.

Then they all start laughing and say “welcome to the team!” How cool and funny :) how awesome :) Per Jared, shocked, “I was just sitting there about to start crying.”

There’s video evidence still up for this too btw lmao

He does play but he doesn’t do too well. At one point he’s hit so hard by an opponent that the opponent was given a game misconduct. That opponent? Adam Larsson hehe

Anyway, Jared’s still sent down really shortly after this, not able to live up to expectations. He describes this time later as “a dark place.”

They send him to the AHL and let him try and get his footing under him. All the while, Vancouver media sours on him more and more.

Then, as the final cherry on top: they trade him after his rookie year. GMs years later will note that they knew he was fair game after reading that the Vancouver media didn’t like him.

Per his dad, “His mother and I spent time trying to help him. He was only 19, and that’s hard. He was like ‘Why didn’t they like me? What did I do wrong?’”

Jared will later say he feels Vancouver “gave up on him” too early. He will also later say, “I think I put too much trust into people I shouldn’t have. And I learned from it.”

Florida Panthers (📸)

He goes to the Florida Panthers.

Vancouver media seems divided on if it’s the right call, but seems comfortable in owing the trade due to “character issue” concerns.

But Florida’s a pretty good place for him. He does okay there! He plays for the 2016-17 and 2017-18 season there in full, with some injuries along the way. He plays a LOT in the AHL during these early seasons, up in Massachusetts, which was less than ideal for him, but he’s talked about learning to love it.

He will say later that he was still incredibly shy in Florida, in some part to his starry eyes around Jaromir Jagr who was there at that point. He’s still a quiet boy.

But in February 2019, the Panthers decide to trade McCann and the more veteran Nick Bjugstad to the Penguins.

The only thing is, because Jared McCann was born to Suffer…Panthers management forgot to tell McCann.

He was settling in for a game day nap when Bjugstad called him and offered to get his stuff from the practice facility.

McCann expressed confusion and that’s when they realized that management hadn’t told Jared he was being traded.

Management finally calls him to tell him the news. During that call, he learns a crucial detail because even an already stressful trade needs to be even more stressful for Jared McCann: he is expected to play with his new team that night.

Pittsburgh Penguins (📸)

McCann and Bjugstad barely make the game, but they do make it. Jared McCann suits up with one of his childhood idols for the first time of many.

He does ridiculously well in Pittsburgh. While he had been targeted to bolster their bottom six, he is getting reps with Sid on the top line pretty consistently.

There’s also like half a season in here where Jared McCann, Brandon Tanev, Jamie Oleksiak, Justin Schultz, and Brian Dumoulin are all playing together as Penguins. So there’s that lol

He’s a playoff newbie in 2019 Pittsburgh, which means he gets a crash course in Not-Speak. Here’s a great article about it, which takes care to describe Jared as always-smiling, as well as “easy prey for story-seeking members of the media.” (My heart) (He learns his cliches fast) (no more it is what it is)

He’s well-liked; he’s a part of things. Sid invites him to his camp in Vail, CO, which Jared still talks about as one of his favorite memories. (He’s still a huge dork about Sidney Crosby btw) (but look at him!! He’s getting along with the boys!! He’s thriving in Pittsburgh!!)

One of the key parts of Jared finding comfort and fitting in is Jeff Carter. Yes, that one! Jared’s favorite player from his youth! Jeff completely takes him under his wing, makes sure Jared’s comfortable and adjusting. Jared will reflect later that if he’s in a similar position with a young player, he wants to act exactly like Jeff Carter acted with him.

In September of 2020, Jared McCann signs a two-year contract to stay with the Penguins. Everyone’s so thrilled.

But then, in the summer of 2021, teams are allowed to protect only a few of their players against the upcoming Seattle Kraken Expansion Draft. And the Penguins have too many precious players. (Including his linemate Jeff Carter, who gets protected)

Kraken Bait

But it’s not that Jared McCann was simply exposed in the Expansion Draft. That’s too easy. And the universe has already decided he has to suffer idk

Instead, what happens is that the Penguins know that the Kraken want McCann. They know that.

You know who else knows that? Kyle Dubas, who is now the GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs, and doesn’t want to lose any of his players.

The Penguins trade Jared McCann to the Leafs to get a player back that they’d traded before (that’s a whole other thing). The Leafs get Jared McCann to dangle in front of other players they want more.

Dubas calls Jared. Jared thinks it’s a normal welcome phone call from the same GM who selected him and developed him as a teenager.

Per Jared, on that phone call: “I was relieved. I was like, oh, they’re gonna protect me.”

Instead, Dubas tells him that Jared’s there to be lost.

The Seattle Kraken (📸)

The Seattle Kraken selects Jared McCann from the Toronto Maple Leafs. This will make the Kraken his fourth (technically fifth if you count a few days) NHL team in seven years.

He shows up to the Kraken with a gigantic chip on his shoulder and determination that far exceeds the team’s inaugural record.

He gets better and better and better.

There are a few signs that he hasn’t fully healed from all that he’s been through (reasonably, I might add). When the Penguins come to Seattle, Brandon Tanev (the Kraken’s choice from the Pens in the expansion draft) kind of shrugs it off and states he’s excited to play them.

Jared also states the usual it’s a business reply but not before he says in his press availability, “They didn’t want me,” with clear emotion in his voice.

But you know who did want him? The Kraken.

Ron Francis proudly announces in spring 2022 that Jared McCann will be the first Kraken to sign an extension. He is wanted. The organization invests in him. And he thrives.

It’s hard to fully describe accurately the spirit of this contract. Helens did an excellent job capturing the emotions of it this in a reply to the primer here! This primer is centered around a lot of Jared’s own words but remembering the impact of Jared McCann’s whole-hearted embrace of this city and team, particularly a team that that was not chosen but foisted on other players…it’s important.

Jared emphasizes that this contract means home. He shared that he had been looking mainly for some contract term, “to be able to stay in one place for a while.” He noted that the organization had been completely accommodating…can you imagine that? After being tossed around every which way for years? To have someone actually listen and want you for a long time?

Jared has a career year in 2022-23, and he finishes as the top goal-scorer on the team. This is thanks in part to his chemistry with linemate Jordan Eberle, with whom he connects on many of those goals, and vice versa.

They also support their center, Matty Beniers, who will finish his rookie year by winning the Calder Trophy for his performance. Because what a surprise—a rookie with support does well.

Along the way, the Kraken make history as the very first team to ever sweep a 7+ game road trip.

As they make history with a huge win against Chicago, Jared gets his first hat trick!

Of course, this is Jared McCann, so pain swiftly follows: he’s dealt a concussion in the Kraken’s very first franchise playoff series (yeah you’ve heard this story before) (and no That Player never apologized, per Jared. And no, he didn’t answer when Jared wanted to settle it on the ice this season.) (x)

Jared is immediately avenged by Jordan Eberle who wins that game in overtime. FUCK YES.

But Jared sits out for the rest, watching them win from afar. He’s able to join them in time to lose the second round in seven games.

The camera shows that he begins to cry as soon as the final whistle blows. (X)

2023-2024

As of the original time of this primer, November 2023, the story of Jared McCann this season is still being written. He’s being shuffled (like many of the players) around the lines as some major injuries plague the team.

But he’s still looking good! We LOVE THE DUDE.

Vancouver is still doubling down on the character issue stuff after Canner has a career-best four point game against them! Instead of praising him, the reporter called Canner “a hotshot, full-of-bravado rookie” that couldn’t stay.

FUCK IT.

The Kiss (tm) occurs early in this season, in which Jared kisses Jordan Eberle’s helmet after a dramatic OT win.

This is instantly iconic from an aesthetic standpoint. But from a narrative standpoint…oh BABY.

This is the first OT Win since Canner was concussed and Ebs won against the Avs in playoffs. That kiss was so deeply earned.

Canner and Ebs have been intertwined since the beginning, deeply enjoying playing together. Their line was split up early in the season due to various injuries but they were able to connect for that iconic moment and thank God they did.

The ‘23-‘24 season was overall challenging for the Kraken.

A bright spot, of course, is Jared McCann. He’s consistent when the rest of the team is inconsistent. He’s totally beloved by the fanbase.

But because it’s a challenging season, playoff teams start sniffing around our players. Particularly those with expiring contracts. Particularly those who have never won a Cup but are hugely respected veterans in the League.

Jordan Eberle. I’m talking about Jordan Eberle.

It’s a stressful time in February, wondering about who we’ll keep. Who’ll be lost.

We lose Wennberg to the Rangers. We wonder about Ebs.

But then—Ebs decides to stay. He decides to sign on for two more years with the Kraken. Meaningfully, he signs on to play his 1,000th game with the Kraken.

We had already known that McCann and Ebs were close but this milestone put it on full display.

“Everyone calls him my therapist,” Jared says of Ebs. “He’s just a guy I can go and not worry about outside noise or any other stuff. He’s a guy who’s been through a lot in this league, somebody I respect. You know, he’s in my wedding for a reason. He’s been there for me since day one.”

McCann is included alongside the alternate captains as someone to present gifts to Ebs and his family during the 1000th game ceremony.

Jared shares he was stressed over the trade deadline, stating, “You can't—you can't replace a guy like him.”

Good thing we didn’t.

2024-2025

The previous season ends, and Ebs is indeed in Jared’s wedding over the summer, which was well attended by many Kraken players.

As a fanbase, we are promised a captain before the start of the season.

As an org, the Kraken make us wait until the very moment the season opens to announce…

Jordan Eberle has been named the second captain of Kraken franchise history.

Just hold that thought, since this is a Jared McCann primer.

Jared McCann scores his 100th goal as a Kraken early this season, and notes in his reflection that it’s especially meaningful considering his first year in the NHL. His horrible rookie year is still on his mind. It shows in so many ways.

Canner takes on even more of a mentorship role, though he is not in the named leadership core.

We see him with an arm around Jagger Firkus in preseason.

He notes he wants to loosen Ryker Evans and Shane Wright up, thoughtfully agreeing that he’s similar to those quiet types but not wanting them to remain in shyness.

I’ve said it in another post but this is all so important for two reasons:

Jared McCann is becoming the mentor he needed, fulfilling his promise to himself that he would mentor young kids when he had the chance.

And Jared McCann is comfortable, supported by deep love and friendship.

This is epitomized by our social media admin including Canner in an Eberle family picture during the skills showcase walk-ins.

But hockey is brutal.

We know hockey is brutal.

And so on November 14, when Jordan Eberle crashed into the boards during a play, we all held our breath.

It was a while until we heard news but then we hear:

Ebs needed surgery on his pelvis; it’ll be six weeks until he can even attempt to walk again. It’ll be months until he can even be considered to get on the ice again.

So Jared will once again be without a major source of support on the ice.

This time, though, he isn’t alone. He has friends and he cares about the kids and he’s wanted.

So even as the universe continues to pummel Canner with the sads, we’ll keep pummeling him with love.

Sound good? GREAT.

Miscellaneous Fun Facts

Jared invited multiple Kraken teammates (Larsson, Donato, Schultz and their partners) along for the vacation where he proposed to his fiancée. He loves his team man

He and his fiancée have a corgi named Cheddar and Jared likes to bring Cheddar to any family events where other players bring their kids.

When asked what he loves about Seattle, one of the first things he said is that there are “a lot of corgis.” And he liked that.

He looks like a baby seal. This may seem like an opinion but trust me, it’s a fact.

He seems to keep a catalogue of everyone who’s ever hit him (relatable and so real)

Marvel nerd. Fucking dork. I love him.

He is a self-proclaimed “high-strung guy.” God bless.

Aughhh there’s so many more. I wanna know your favorite Jared tidbits!!!!

[silvergyus]

GIRL DAD YEONJUN IS A BIG YES LIKE OML I STALKED THROUGH YOUR HEADCANONS LIKE AN ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN i do not regret it its 7am and im melting from the fluffiness of it all

but what about the other members 👀

how would they be as a girldad and as a boydad? i’d love to see your take on it!

omg omg thank you so much anon🩷 we must be on opposite sides of the world lol

hehe I feel like I have differing opinions than the rest of moablr but please headcanon what you like!

txt as dads

⋆｡°✩ Yeonjun:

I obviously believe in girl dad!yeonjun supremacy (read more here and here) but I feel like he could also have an extremely cool son- think adult-size sunglasses too big for his lil face. a taste for fashion when his friends are wearing those horrendous neon Nike shorts. but yeonjun's daughter would be such a daddy's girl and he would be a girl dad first and foremost. yeonjun isn't as into video games as some of the other members so I feel like his son (or daughter) wouldn't be as into them as the kids of the other members either

rest of the members under the cut

⋆｡°✩ Soobin:

I believe in girl dad!soobin because 1.) it's the most adorable thing ever and 2.) I think it would be so funny

hear me out, we obviously saw him with the twins but he said he was super nervous going into that since he is only used to hanging out with his nephew. imagine soobin with two daughters having his first son and he thinks it's gonna be a breeze since "boys are easier" but boy, was he wrong. his cutie son is a lot to handle and it turns out raising a boy from birth is a *lot* different than being a leader

like every other moa, I can see soob having the most kids. he just seems like the type of guy to have kids hanging off of him. plays video games with his kids but is also very strict about them washing their face/brushing their teeth. reads to them a lot and gets sucked into the storybooks they read together even when it's something silly like the day the crayons quit (a favorite of mine when I was a student librarian hehe)

⋆｡°✩ Beomgyu:

BOY DAD!!! I know girl dad!beomgyu is so popular but I just feel in my heart that he is a boy dad!! picture him and his son in matching sunglasses and tshirts. those silly ones with like "the original" on his and "the remix" on his son's. would call the baby "beomgyu junior" the whole pregnancy but once the baby was born he would have a million lil nicknames for that kid.

I can specifically picture beomgyu getting one of the other members to both go out with their babies in carriers on their chests and they just wave to everyone they see with the babies' hands. like, use the babies' hands to wave instead of theirs

boy dad beomgyu who builds the best pillowforts and is the best at play fighting and buys the coolest nerf guns and foam swords. boy dad beomgyu who had a special relationship with his dad and carries those traditions on with his kids. boy dad beomgyu who plays guitar for his kids and they think he's the coolest dad ever

if he has a daughter, she totally roughhouses with the boys but she gets princess treatment when she sits on daddy's lap while he plays guitar, her tiny fingers resting on the wood so she can feel the vibrations of the music. her big eyes filled with such deep appreciation for the music.

⋆｡°✩ Taehyun:

hmmm, honestly I also feel boy dad but he has a science son :) his wide-eyed son with glow in the dark stars on his ceiling and an ant farm and he exclusively wears dinosaur tshirts. taehyun and him nerd out together all the time. his son loves the planetarium and the library and also is in all the school plays. plays minecraft with beomgyu's son and soobin's oldest daughter

however, I can also see tyun's kids playing a lot of soccer (I can see him with two boys, close in age). they both would be on the soccer team that he assistant coaches (thank you @https-yeonjun for that headcanon<3). they are both into soccer- just like their daddy- and the one is into a bunch of other sports so he's always off to practice somewhere with his grass-stained knees and toothy grin. the three of them would spend match days glued to the tv to watch their favorite team. he'd buy them all matching jerseys for their favorite team too, with each of their favorite players names on the back

also taehyun would absolutely get a cat for his kids and they would have a chore wheel for days on who feeds it/ cleans the litterbox

if tyun had a daughter she would have the highest standards as a grown-up like. not quite spoiled like yeonjun's daughter, but omg the absolute most princess treatment of all time. that girl would have all her oranges peeled and her juice poured in her favorite cup and her hair brushed and she would never walk because she'd want to be carried everywhere and her daddy is strong so he carries her. she totally wears the matching soccer jerseys with her brothers and daddy too like, c'mon. soccer jersey and tutu and she absolutely crushes the other team when she's on the field

⋆｡°✩ Hyuka:

I feel like hyuka girl dad??? I also feel like he has the second most kids behind soobin. his daughter is just like him, effortlessly good at playing musical instruments. she plays like 4 and the house is always full of music. he's really calm as a dad and he isn't super shook when his kids act up. really good at gentle parenting and loves to teach his kids through their shared interests.

his daughter's bed is absolutely full of plushies. she def collects them and names them and they have a special order they have to go in on her bed. she sleeps with them all every night and gives each one a kiss before she goes to sleep. he takes her to the store and is the biggest enabler of her collection. he says he isn't spoiling her, just gifting her as a fellow collector, but we know she's spoiled

you know how hyuka is a copy-and-paste of his dad? if he has a son it's 100% gonna be a carbon copy of him. like, that boy is a HUENING and everyone can tell. tallest kid in his grade and has the exact same laugh and nose and eye crinkles.

any hueningkids would absolutely LOVE pokemon though, just like their dad. and they would totally get a dog and name it eevee

[homunculus-argument]

Your post a couple days ago about reading things you acknowledge as silly nonsense and not the Height Of Intellectual Literature, and letting yourself enjoy it anyway, unearthed a memory for me that I just. I'm sorry, I just need to share this.

So, there was a phase I had, years ago now, where I for some reason ended up somewhat regularly reading James Bond books whenever I was in the mood for something light and kinda dumb but entertaining to read (I was reading Outlander and A Song of Ice and Fire at the time as well, never finished either of those series tho, so I kinda ended up reading lighter stuff in between those long books to relax and let my brain take a breather if that makes sense). I honestly couldn't tell you which books I read, and it wasn't in any particular order, it was sort of like, starting with whatever my dad had in the shelf and then continuing with whatever the library happened to have. Some of what I read were the original ones written by Ian Fleming, some were by later authors. Idk, point is, it was light spy-adventure nonsense I read when I didn't have the energy to think too deep about what I was reading.

Sorry about how long I took to get to the point, but, anyway. There was this one James Bond book I picked up mostly because hehe suomi mainittu. Not by Fleming, one of the later authors, I remember neither the author name nor the book name and can't be assed to google it rn. Anyway, a fair amount of the plot of that book took place in Finland. I could not say for the life of me what the actual plot of it was, just that part of it was set here. I remember like exactly two details about it, and both of those I only remember because I thought they were funny back when I was reading it.

One of those details was that there was a bit of Bond's internal monologue at some point that was just him basically being a whiny bitch about the fact that he thought the sort of thick winter clothes you need for Finnish winters didn't make him look sexy

The other is that there was a scene where the baddies tried to kill him by ??? crushing his car (while he was driving on some little road somewhere in the middle of nowhere) between two lumiauras??? like i just. that seems like a highly impractical way to attempt to kill anyone, but sure (ja sori siitä et mä en ny suoraan muista et mikä helvetti lumiaura on englanniks, mut sä ny puhut suomee kuiteski)

Idk you talking about silly stuff in books just unearthed this memory for me, no idea why, and i just needed to share it with someone

It's a snow plough. The english word for lumiaura is snow plough. Also that mental image is hilarious.

[leondickrider]

relationship headcanons | leon s kennedy x gn!reader

💭 . . . hiii, so i moved to this account from my old account @movedoopsie so this an updated version of both of my old relationship headcanons posts and nsfw post (with some new bonus headcanons hehe) (‘. • ᵕ •. `)

before reading: fluff, suggestive, nsfw marked, some are sad bc i love making leon suffer ₍ᐡ｡っ ̫-｡ᐡ₎ not proofread | warnings: cursing, substance abuse mentioned | wc 2.1k

love with him kinda gives me and your mama by childish gambino but very much guns and roses by lana del rey 🎀

ONE THING I FORGOT TO MENTION IN MY ORIGINAL POSTS: television heaven by lana del rey is so re2make leon coded !!!! and maybe perhaps starry eyed... just maybe...

it's canon that he listens to rock (refer to re2r opening) but I'm sure he would listen to alternative and hip hop

btw, to the spotify playlist makers, he would never listen to mother mother he is quite literally born in the 70s

also i doubt he would actually listen to lana del rey, but if he did he would listen to ultraviolence ₍ᐢ.”⚇.”ᐢ₎

when he's frustrated, he'll mutter curses under his breath like it's so sexy and hot and pussy soddening or dick hardening (I don't have a dick idk how it works)

he loves when you wear long, flowy dresses or shirts, especially if they are in white. if you get it you get it

he would like white clothes on you since white typically represents like purity and cleanliness. and with all the stuff he's been through and it's just comforting

his favorite colors are blue and green tho

he's a good kisser 10/10

leon definitely replies with the driest things ever over text. like you could say "hey baby I love you <3 be careful at work" and he'll say "Ok love you." and he uses the period too

also replies with 👍, 👎, 😀 and 😍

when you are both going to sleep at the same time, he will scratch your back out of habit, even if he falls asleep you will feel his hand making circular motions on your back

he's the lightest sleeper ever. he wakes up if you shift in bed too fast, if you make any unusual sound, literally wakes up so easily and this leads to him being very sleepy :(

he would want 2 kids so they aren't lonely. he wouldn't ever want his kids to feel the loneliness he felt as an orphan

he's a girl dad but if he had a son then you already know that kid is going to be a carbon copy of his dad

sometimes he comes home really drunk and he leans all over you, kissing you all over and saying how much he loves you and stuff and then he cries and then falls asleep

when he goes fishing or hunting or camping he always drags you along for it even if you complain

he looks like he goes camping like every season as the vacation he so desperately asks for 24/7

he doesn't understand text abbreviations. he's like a victorian child. he says "LOL" and doesn't even know what it means. "leon I'm feeling really sick, bring me some soup please" "Ok LOL."

he also replies really slowly to texts sometimes, it's not even on purpose he is just has no clue how to iphone

during missions, he has those cute lil kitten sneezes (like in re4r) but at home this man forces them to be obnoxiously loud because it always makes you giggle

and his hearts melts a little every time you giggle. your laughter is like his favorite sound in the whole wide world

he gets home at unholy hours of the night usually, so he usually just goes to the bedroom, gives you a kiss on your forehead or cheek while you're asleep and takes a quick shower before sleeping

however on nights where you wait for him to get home he is taken by surprise when you fling yourself into his arms when he enters

when be walks in he'll be like "sono a casa..." really quietly

yeah he learned a little italian bc he's like a mafioso son basically so he decided "why not just learn italian and make my girlfriend swoon over it?" il mio king

he's incredibly insecure in relationships. he thinks you deserve better than him, somebody who can be there for you without fail and isn't heavily traumatized

when you're sick he will literally do everything for you, he doesn't let you do anything until you're better

even when you aren't sick he does everything, he justa bit more lenient

hero complex ofc, he loves being there to 'save you' even if it's just helping you get something off the top shelf or helping you zip up a dress or a shirt

always puts his bed by you in minecraft even tho he has no idea how to play :3

also, loves bear hugging you. but he also does those hugs where he lifts you up completely and spins you around a little

if you where in raccoon city with him he would do the spinning hug the second you were finally safe

when he's feeling really affectionate (usually when he's a lil tipsy) he'll tell you things like "sei tutto il mio mondo" and "sei la metà della mia mela" (this is so cute if you also love apples)

he's a heavyweight this man can handle his alcohol, so if you get drunk easy like me, then yea he's def got you covered

doesn't let anybody he doesn't trust near you when you're drunk

also, even when he's drunk he's very protective. he's actually more protective

he is really good at comforting you when you need it but often pushes you away when you need it :(

sometime he will disappear for long periods of times. and he cuts off all contact. but eventually you will get a call from somebody like chris, claire, etc. that leon was drinking and they were bringing him home

he goes through cycles of highs where he stops drinking and lows where he drinks excessively (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

sometimes he'll send you random selfies when he gets service or random texts like "Hi." and tbh it scared the shit out of you to just get a random Hi when he's in the middle of like the desert a few times

he isn't really good with physical affection, he'll give you awkward hugs and hold your hands but he's just very awkward in general so...

but if we're talking cute re2make leon then omfg hugs 24/7 he will not keep his hands off you

he isn't really into pda bc he's shy about it, he will hold your hand and maybe give you an awkward side hug but that's really it unless it's one of those special occasions lmfao

this is kind of random but when he's alone he likes to look at old pictures of you both and just reminisce on the past ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

re2make leon the typa guy to play just dance with you

maybe re4make if he's in love enough (he is)

his style is actually really good so he ALWAYS looks so good next to you (refer to casual leon model) 🐩

he sings in the shower sometimes

he likes to take showers with you since it's relaxing when you wash his hair since you have like soft hands and not his big thick meaty manly leather beefy hands

falls asleep with light piano music and rain audios in the background 😭

his instagram is basically a fanpage for you. always appreciating you!! "My s/o took this." "Date night night with s/o." "Imagine not having the prettiest bestest amazingest s/o ever."

he and ada are mutuals, this is his revenge for ghosting him lol

takes you on picnic dates a lot

for people with periods, he is like so good with helping you woth getting tampons/pads, getting medicine, etc etc

his ideal house with you would be one of those stereotypical white american family suburb houses (he's so american i'll never let him live down calling luis 'lewis' 😭)

he pledge allegiance to the flag he is a PATRIOT🇺🇸

he spoils the hell out of you !!!! you look at a dress twice? magically in your closet the next day. you look at a pretty necklace that costs more than a car? he already got it

government paycheck

when he was 21 he dreamed of having a really normal life with you. a normal house, normal cars, 2 kids, a dog, all these other totally normal things

he does not get the normal life lol

nsfw

he is very territorial, he definitely marks you up in spots that are very visible and harder to hide

he isn't really picky about what lingerie you wear but if you wear white sets with little blue or pink ribbons then you got your work cut out for you

he's very romantic during sex. on anniversaries he'll even get rose petals and candles in you're into that kinda stuff lol

had to buy a whole different phone just for videos/photos of you both because his phone has a ton of work things and he didn't want to risk accidentally sending the wrong picture to the wrong person

when he gets back from missions that were very stressful and got him pent up then sex is way rougher than usual

he is definitely into worshipping your body. he'll tell you how beautiful you are and kiss every inch if your skin that he can

sometime he'll also say some italian things to you while you do the deed like "sei molto bella"

when he's horny he'll tell you "mi ecciti così tanto"

although, italian bedroom talk is kinda cringe sometimes so he usually sticks to english

he is definitely very experienced, he's been with several women, usually one night stands. but we do also know he had a girlfriend before resi 2 so there's that

he would prefer sex stays in the bedroom, or the house at least

he probably gets pleasure from making you get pleasure. like just from eating you out he will... yea

as i said before, territorial 😊

one of his sexual fantasies is fucking you while he's on a mission but he probably wouldn't want to take that risk bc like zombies

it's not rare to have quickies in the mornings

he's big like maybe 6 or 7 inches? he may not have a könig bulge but he's absolutely packing

dirty talk. says things like "y'like that princess?" "that feel good?" "i know you like it baby" "you feel so girl pretty girl" "look at me lovie" when you close ur eyes

man is a freak (refer to THAT clip from death island)

however, sex with him is usually really vanilla simply because he is too tired from all these missions to be doing all that

when it's not vanilla he's a switch simply bc I know it. he'll let you take the reins from time to time, but he is always the one in control if we're being fr

also i'm pretty sure he's top leaning because like... the shit he's been through?? he'd want a little control over something and having control in bed makes him feel really powerful

he still likes to bottom tho lol

he also calls u mommy or daddy or master or mistress if u a freaky freak lol

loves brat taming!!!!!

he likes to hold your hand while having sex

enjoys morning sex lots, especially the morning after he returns from a mission. he's too exhausted the night of returning, so he wakes up early and fucks you

love love loves missionary bc he gets to look at your face and he can just look down to see him yk thrusting (goodbye i hate this word)

i will say tho sometimes he will say the most outlandish things like "i wanna pump so many babies into you that we repopulate raccoon city" but it's ok bc it's leon

loves white sets on you (refer to 8)

sooo good with after care!!! if you need something he will do it or get it. want a snack? he's grabbing it. want a nice warm bubble bath? he's running the water and grabbing the soap for bubbles

spoils you with aftercare tbh.... after him you really cannot ever get better aftercare

very vocal, lots of whimpers and whines coming from him

really good with his hands, I mean look at the way he handles guns. i'm sure his hands come in handy in more ways than just flipping a gun around

amazing with his tongue and mouth as well 🎀

he love love loves when u sit on his face !!!

when you give him head he likes to rub your scalp and he makes the most attractive noises ever

he owns a couple toys. he def owns a vibrator and a pair of handcuffs

he probably has no preference to if you're shaved or not when he's older

but when he's younger he prefers it shaved or trimmed cuz he lives between your legs and it gets a bit annoying getting hair in his mouth 😭

(i'm sorry if all the nsfw seems aimed towards afab people, I literally have no idea how to write for amab but i'm trying to spoil everybody...)

౨ৎ translations "sono a casa" i'm home; "il mio [re]" my king; "sei tutto il mio mondo" you are my whole world; "sei la metà della mia mela" you are half of my apple; "sei molto bella" you're very beautiful; "mi eciti così tanto" you're turning me on | please correct me if any of this is wrong since i rarely speak to my italian friends and family and i don't say these things to them. i had to research :)

reblogs and replies appreciated always <3

leon kennedy masterlist

[zuureleena]

thank u @quazies for making my already intense crush on scout so much more insane 🫶 [edit: OH NO I FORGOT POOTIS' TAIL 😭]

i js wanna say how much i genuinely love this series 🥲💕 it was legitamately the catalyst that led me to fully wanting to be a part of the tf2 fandom!! aughhgghg it's js such an awe-inspiring fan series that js clutches mine and many other's hearts :D

[also i've been posting on my computer and have only now realised how much the quality dies when i zoom in on my phone 💀 guys plz u'll get the full scrumptious meal in high quality on ur laptop]

textureless ver, original screencap, and some rambling abt how genius the differences between blu and red scout are imo below!!

i've seen another comment mention this but i think it's so neat how (technically) the same person can turn out so differently depending on who and how they were raised (which is like basic developmental psychology 101 and generally just common sense, but like WHATEVER ASGHDJHAS), and seeing those massive differences between blu and red scout's behaviours is so interesting!!!

like i LOVE how blu scout isn't nearly as caring as red scout, and the fact he smokes because he was influenced by blu spy since he mostly raised him is soooo cool. he's sm more like his dad, whereas red scout is a lot more like his ma, which makes sense cuz in the same fashion as blu scout, he was mostly raised by her.

i've always been a fan of this kind of stuff. also, i think its so funny that one of the same things that they both share r the trashy magazines they read 😭😭😭 AND I LAUGHED SO HARD WHEN I REALISED WHAT BLU SCOUT WAS READING BAHAHHA (i was gonna doodle it rn and post it here but i wanted to get this done insteaddd,, maybe another time hehe)

[eodiablo]

good evening fellas may I drop yet another AU

A good friend and I were having some sort of... THING yesterday and we made an Western AU

that's it.

RAMBLING BEHIND THIS LINE OOO

A quick explanation on the doodles, Friend said that Wilson would be a "sawbone" (in their words). A doctor of the times. He has a little facade for when he's selling remedies to the townspeople but outside of it, he's the usual Wilson. Tho if you ask me, he's closer to his DS version at the beginning of this AU, a more cynical, sarcastic individual.

His dressing isn't too far from the OG Wilson with the difference that his waistcoat is a bit different, he doesn't has his gloves/black sleeves and he has that STUPID HAT THAT I HATE, HE LOOKS BALD.

He also is seen more often without said waistcoat and more with his apron. Yknow, medical stuff.

We already gave most of the characters a "role", but for now I only drew the kids bc they're my children. I love em.

Here Wendy is Wilson's apprentice. They met in a complicated situation, where a band of outlaws attacked the town where she lived and fatally wounded both her father and Abigail. Wendy looked for Wilson, sadly, to no use, since it was already too late. Since she has no one else (or so she thinks) he has taken her under his care and WOO FOUND FAMILY LETS GO.

Walter is a very big fan of Woodie, the sheriff (hehe) and he's basically his assistant of sorts. Since he's not the sheriff yet (not even closer, no, he's still too young and Woodie is very much alive), he has a little bottle cap as a fake insignia.

And then Webs, my sweet sweet boy. He also has an ugly background: his father tried to sell him and he ran away (not without basically physical fighting with his dad). Was alone for a time, made friends with a pack of dogs who now protect him, but essentially had to survive on his own before he met Willow (an outlaw on the run), and yes, they became a duo too because, again, one yearns for the found family.

His dessing is my fav out of the three because love how my friend describes him as a fashion icon that wears whatever feels like. He has a skirt over a pair of pants and those leather thingys (whose name I don't know?) because the skirt really complements everything, trust him.

ALSOO I love it cuz I got to experiment with his features. He has a "weird" smile that resembles his in-game appearance, with little fangs, and moles under his eyes which refer to his spider eyes. I also used the hair depicted on his solo skin with a little additional detail that some tufts of hair rise in the way that his spider legs stick out.

most importantly my buddy approved and they're THE main Webber in my life.

ARGGGRGR Theres too much details and things for it to be in one big post so (also I have to draw more) so for now, have this.

[kurapikasgfff]

can you pleaseeee make more husband nanami fluff? maybe he and reader have kids and they're all girls (kento is obviously such a good dad to them). basically just domesticity and all that. i literally love how you write omg you're such a talented writer!!

hehe ofcourse and tysm ily 🥹🥹 (fluff, may be spelling mistakes? enjoyy!)

currently, you are positioned at the door, rummaging through your purse navigating your keys, you’re so glad that work is finally over, all you want to do is see your husband, nanami and your toddler grace, they are literally the only people that brighten your day. you finally find your keys and you open the door, you kick of your shoes gently and make your way into the living room. “hey guys, i’m homeee!”

“hi, mama!” you hear grace saying in the distance. you arrive to the living room and your heart feels a mix of warmth and laughter, as you look at the sight before you, you can feel your laugh traveling up your throat, “what is going on here?” you say to nanami and grace. nanami is styling her hair, it kind of looks like french braids but it’s so messed up that you can’t even tell.

“hey honey, how was work? i’m just styling graces hair, I was thinking we should go with this style tomorrow for school, isn’t it great?” nanami says holding up her two pigtails, looking at the finished product like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen.

you burst out in laughter, you’re so happy that nanami is trying to help out with her hair, but you think it’s clear he needs more practice, “just.. leave the hair to me, baby” you say to kento, still laughing.

“it doesn’t look the best does it?” nanami says now laughing along with you.

“hey, i think it’s nice, papa!” grace says looking up from her ipad, smiling bright and wide.

“thank you so much, my dear”nanami says, kissing grace on the cheek.

“it looks extra cute because it’s on you, gracie!” you say as grace giggles and looks back down at her ipad.

“and you did it with love so that’s all that matters!” you say cheering up nanami.

“thanks, love. you’re right.” nanami says, undoing the clips in grace’s hair.

nanami is now undoing grace’s hair as you take a shower and get dressed, you come downstairs 15 minutes later, making your way to return to them in the living room, only to find nanami and grace both slouched on the sofa, laying on top of each other asleep, the hairbrush is still in nanami’s hand as well as grace’s ipad still on and playing.

“gosh, what am I gonna do with those two?” you laugh to yourself, caressing both of their cheeks.

sorry guys I feel like that was lowk bad, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything, but don’t worry I’m back in my writing era💔💔

also if someone knows how to can u tell me how to make links out off ppls requests so I can just put “req” instead of the full thing plz

[ssahotchnerr]

i’m in italy atm and all i can think about is going on holiday with aaron (with an age gap obvs), and him being full holiday mode😭

and wearing the HOTTEST outfits, like the tight polos, khaki shorts, button ups omg

but also being so caring and fun, and finally letting himself relax, your honour i love him🩷💖💞

omg i'm so jealous of you and PLEASE aaron in vacation mode is one of my all time favorite things 🤭 not me having a pinterest board with this aesthetic 🫣

no because no one needs a vacation more than him 😣 SO when you first mentioned it, he was a bit hesitant - like can he make it work due to his schedule, will he be able to take time off, etc - but he has more than enough vacation time piled up, and he wants needs to spend undivided time with you, so before you know it the two of you are booking a hotel and those buying plane tickets <3333

and the lead up too!!!!! the days up until you leave, he's sending you texts throughout the work day, things like "these consults driving me insane, can't wait until it's just you and me" "so excited to get away with you sweetheart" or he's texting you links of things to do while you the two of you are there - tourist places, maybe a wine tour, boat tours, maybe a beach or two. he's just so excited for that much needed break he's too stubborn to give himself, and most importantly he's excited to just be with you <3 🥰

and buying aaron clothes for him to wear 🤭 like of course you know what he looks the sexiest in, and of course he wants to please you hehe 🤭 so he doesn't argue against those tight polos showing off that strong torso of his, a tight button-up and almost looks like it's going to pop - again just exhibiting that hot dad bod and showing off his muscles in alllllll the right places <333333 🤤🤤🤤 and the shorts!!!!!!! the man has a hot pair of calves that he doesn't nearly show off enough thanks to the dress slacks he always wears - so those need to come out to play too

anddd he definitely does shopping of his own for you too 🤭 things for you to wear out and in the bedroom hehe 🥰😵‍💫

and it takes the two of you foreverrrrr to get ready in the morning, or to get ready for dinner, to go out, because either one of you just pounces the other because of how good they look 😵‍💫 the second aaron put on one of those sexy polos, you were a goner. you put on such a pretty dress, and within moments aaron already has it on the floor hehe <3333

but UGH just throughout the days the two of you are there - his eye bags nearly disappear, the tension in his shoulders are long gone, he's smiling and laughing more 🥹 he's just sooo carefree and even a bit giddy <3 walking around your vacation spot, both your hands are joined and he's swinging them back an forth lightly, bringing your hand to his lips, and simply kissing you no matter where with no hesitation 🥹

going on a boat tour with him 🩷💓💞💞🩷 he's standing behind you as you're taking in all the sights, his arms are wrapped around your waist, and he keeps presses kisses to your neck and UGH he's so happy to be in such a beautiful place with someone who's even more beautiful <3333

and lounging on a beach together, just 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 shirtless aaron and the dilf sunglasses <333333 and aaron insists on putting multiple layers of sunscreen on you - he says it's due to the sun, but he just wants an excuse to touch you lmao <3333 and of course if he's putting more on you, you'll gladly return the favor 🤭 aaron still manages to get a lil burnt, which he is a bit grumpy over that night as the two of you get ready for dinner, but in your eyes he just looks so soooo pretty sunkissed, and then it develops into a tan 😮‍💨🤤 <333333333

and every day, you end it watching by the sunset together 💕💓🥰 accompanied with sooo many kisses and sweet words <333 like aaron thanking you for getting him away, and how much he loves you <3333