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drdemonprince · 3 months

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It wasn't the main topic of your most recent post on substack, so I'm sending this here. In passing you talk about left-leaning neurodivergent people on social media, and the guilt and fatigue that comes from the constant avalanche of causes and events being shared.

One thing that stands out to me is how much of what I see is people borrowing grief from the future. This is probably partially due to people wanting to show that they care about it. However I feel it's more than that, because underneath that there's something else. It feels very similar to the catastrophizing autistic people in particular can be prone to. You know, where you get so lost obsessing over a hypothetical possible outcome that you complete lose sight of all the things that have to happen for it to come to pass. Things that are often unlikely to begin with on their own, but combined even more so. And then this gets shared and fractally further catastrophized upon. All pulling grief from the future for things that may not even happen.

Seeing all that is so exhausting, as there's often little to no distinction between what's actually urgent in the here and now, and what's an emotional resonance cascade about what *might* happen (and any actual information to be able to judge it has been lost due to the game of Internet telephone, or was never there (ie. a twitter screengrab.) Sometimes disentangling that mess is possible, but it takes a lot of stress and energy, on top of the stress and energy seeing people upset about it in the first place.

My question is two-fold:

How do you (gently) tell people that what they're doing is counterproductive when just sharing anything without checking whether it's actually urgent, not misleading, not just spreading panic and needlessly borrowing grief from the future? Because with the exception of people you know *well* and even then, that feels like a fool's errand, even if you can avoid the toxic positivity vibes that people might get from you if you try.

Decide if social media is at all worth it. I personally don't follow "big" accounts, but even outside that it's all just so... the enjoyable and interesting parts where people talk about their stuff or share what they do or made feel like they're being snowed over by all the rest. I could quit it all, but that doesn't feel right. It's a tricky question because I feel the specter of the toxic positivity crowd sweeping anything difficult under the rug or disengaging to ~protect their mental~ looming over me. (Not to mention that all the IRL social events around me go through a dizzying array of social media sites, so complete disengagement isn't possible anyway.)

(Yes, I appreciate the irony of asking this on social media.) I'd appreciate any thoughts you might have on this.

Thanks for this all-too-relatable question, Anon! My thoughts:

My answer is that you really don't. You can't convince someone to see the world your way or alter their behavior with your words. What you can do is take care of yourself and set an example with your behavior. By spending less time online digesting this bullshit, not involving yourself in petty,dissolve-on-your-tongue internet fights, not reacting when people send some dumb fuckshit to you, and surrounding yourself with more enriching sources of information and ways to connect, other people's online bullshit will bother you less, you'll see it less, and by virtue of contributing to it all less, you may slowly serve as a model for others who are looking to detach from it, too.

You can tell your close friends that you are spending less time online and trying to avoid alarmist bullshit, but not much good usually comes from engaging about it with anyone else. In fact, even posting a bad infographic in order to argue with it/disprove it only gives it more exposure, and some research on attitude change and persuasion finds that setting out to disprove a myth only leads to more people believing in it anyway. I did some laboratory studies on that back in the day. So I'd say it's usually better to just ignore/block/not read the BS.

2. (How do you) Decide if social media is at all worth it. I personally don't follow "big" accounts, but even outside that it's all just so… the enjoyable and interesting parts where people talk about their stuff or share what they do or made feel like they're being snowed over by all the rest. I could quit it all, but that doesn't feel right. It's a tricky question because I feel the specter of the toxic positivity crowd sweeping anything difficult under the rug or disengaging to ~protect their mental~ looming over me. (Not to mention that all the IRL social events around me go through a dizzying array of social media sites, so complete disengagement isn't possible anyway.)

I think my previous answer kind of alludes to the answer to this one. I find that I use social media less and less these days, because it does not help me professionally, socially, or emotionally very much at all. On the professional level, more social media usage does not translate to more readers or more interesting creative/collaborative opportunities. What does seem to pay off is speaking from true sincerity and passion, however often I am so moved, and then not engaging with bullshit in the aftermath of sharing it. So I post and ghost whenever I feel that I have something to say, never checking notifications/reactions/comments/etc for the most part.

Socially, social media use lately has been dismal for me. Seeing everyone's hot takes, bids for attention, trauma spirals, and petty fights makes me actively like humanity far less. And that's something I have already struggled with generally. I do not need to absorb every random person I've ever met's every random fleeting thought. It makes me socially anxious, far too worried about how people perceive me, and viciously judgement and hopeless myself. What social media IS useful for, socially, is finding events, as you've alluded to. So I do hop onto Instagram to check out my favorite party organizers, drag performers, mutual aid groups, trans beach day organizers, bars, etc to see what is going on. I don't do much beyond that these days.

Emotionally/psychologically, social media is stressful, alarmist, distracting, and occasionally informative and fun for me. Again your mileage may vary. My way of coping right now is to spend as little time on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook etc as possible, because very little of intellectual consequence happens there, and to selectively visit the specific tumblrs who put out posts that I like. I don't even scroll the feed. I have also replaced scrolling social media with reading Substacks and Medium articles and that has helped me a TON. I still get exposure to a wide array of humanity, including a lot of takes that I disagree with or find silly, but everything's a bit more measured and intentional and there's less fighting.

I do not know what will work for you, Anon, and I think for many of us this is an ongoing negotiation between competing needs. I consider saying fuck it and deleting everything pretty often. well, everything other than tumblr. I'm here to stay.

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herejusttosufferalong · 1 month

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I'm starting to believe the blackmail theory. The last couple of days have shown so many coincidences that it feels like something is/ has been going on behind the scenes for a while. It's been a miserable summer. All of L's posts that include A are dark, black-and-white images. (Where we know that she was there events, pools) N disappeared from social media, only posting behind-the-scenes pictures and boyfriend-coded posts. L has just returned to social media last week, posting Bridgerton-related content (the bloopers- N and him are laughing, feeling happy). We all know the blooper clip came from Twitter, and N has claimed HERSELF, she hasn’t been on Twitter since she left the platform. I would also like to add her RING (showcased in all of her posts), which always reassures/ed me that -no matter what- they are in a good place.

Then there are the game pics (which are quite telling), the supportive friend pics of someone saving her from the paparazzi, and the ‘drink your milk’ T-shirt (which you can see has already been worn)—all in one week. Now, bless the telephone (I am very much in love with you ❤️). Something happened between Brazil and Toronto. In Brazil, L was confident, cheeky, and manspreading A LOT—seriously, calm down, man. But in Toronto, he reverted to his tight, anxious sitting posture. I know it’s just sitting, but this man is an open book. He looked overwhelmed and stressed out, but one thing hadn't changed: the way he looked at N (with love and admiration).

I can’t accept that A was doing all of this by herself. Her mom or R was definitely involved in this story. Even if there wasn’t any blackmail, something specific happened that relates to A. (adding papgate here that was planned without a doubt, and not from L). (If) L and N are together, their relationship didn’t just start this week or last week—it’s been ongoing for a while now, for sure. N isn't going to jump into a relationship with him just because he has time for her now.

So let's chat about my theory until we get the next clue. (Acceptable the disagreement) She is the Queen, and the stars are FINALLY aligned.

PS: Thanks to Suffer the blog for making this place toxic-free. I've always come here as it's the one place we can talk about them without doing something shady. I just found it recently, but I'm so grateful for it. 💜

Anyway obviously the song about JD, EF but most likely LT. (Love that ngl). Don't question it.

i'm a sucker for delulu 💜🥃

#this is all opinion #merely speculating #feeding my delulu daily #i will die in my delulu #theories

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dilfsonic · 4 months

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I posted this on Twitter but I’ll do it here too, unpopular opinion time that will get me cooked: Jet the hawk does NOT hate Sonic, and he hasn’t resented him since the beginning of the first Riders game. When it comes to the games, Jet EXPLICITLY respects Sonic and enjoys his rivalry with him by the end of everything, and their dynamic evolved over Zero Gravity into a relationship where they viewed each other as true equals.

Like. This idea that Jet is a petty hater who cant do anything and resents Sonic’s existence is very purely based off the gross mischaracterization in the comics and could not be further from how they interact in the Riders games 😭 I’m sorry, I cannot pretend to enjoy even SLIGHTLY the idea that Jet is a dumbass and a slob who can’t hold his own in a fight and would look down on Sonic for asking for his help during the Metal virus arc, because none of those traits add up from what was already firmly established about him??

Jet already eagerly helped Sonic save the world twice and took part in the fighting, like…he didn’t even question that he would help Sonic. Jet isn’t a coward, nor is he incapable, and acting all coy about saving the planet is just a confusing thing for him to do.

But more importantly than that is his rivalry with Sonic was just, made explicitly clear at the end of ZG. They ENJOY each other’s challenge, and often become blind to other people and issues when it comes to the other. Sonic runs off with him rather frequently actually LMAO. Like…I dunno. I never thought of Jet as like, this petty loser when I was outside of the fandom just based on the games growing up. I always thought he was so cool but never saw anyone talk about or even acknowledge him back in the 2000s. Now people talk about him more, but it feels like the fandom picked 1 fan’s unflattering portrayal of him and played telephone for years and now that portrayal has been picked up by IDW 😬 The thing I will say though is the more recent issues with him have been so much better, FINALLY acknowledging the cool Babylonian lore and the backstory of the Rogues, but it’s taken way too long to address the true nature of the Rogues and I feel like irreparable damage was done to Jet’s character 😭

Anyway yeah I’m being dramatic bc Jet is one of my favorites and my view of him had developed entirely independent of the fandom, so the popular fanon interpretation of him is just…odd to me, a lot of the time.

#don’t take this post too seriously I’m aware that 98% of fans don’t care enough aboht Jet to analyze the riders games the way I do LOL #just my onions #Jet the hawk #sonic the hedgehog #my post

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lemonlover1110 · 1 year

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝟑𝟖𝟏

Toji Fushiguro

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[Chapter 4] The Telephone Game

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

“Fushiguro!” You knock on the door when Megumi and Toji aren’t out the door around the time that you usually depart. You understand that it’s a Friday, and Toji might not have to work, but he never told you anything beforehand, so you assume that they just slept in.

A shirtless Toji opens the door, he just wears his briefs which makes your wandering eyes embarrass you. Toji wonders why you’re at his door but then he realizes, a quick apology leaving his lips, “I forgot to tell you… Megumi is staying with some family for the weekend.”

“Oh! That’s nice to know.” You respond before you turn around, and begin to walk away. There’s no point to really say more, if you don’t leave now, you might be late. Today you have to walk, which is something that you didn’t expect. You hear your name and it makes you come to a stop.

“I can take you! Just give me a minute to put on some clothes.” Toji yells, running back inside to find his sweatpants and a shirt to throw over himself as you patiently wait outside. You wonder why he wants to take you but you’ve slowly become closer, especially after the beach day that was two weeks ago. “I’m ready.”

You two quietly walk to his car, and when you get to it, he opens the door for you. You mutter a thank you before getting into the passenger seat. Usually Toji has to put Megumi in the backseat, but now since Megumi isn’t here, he opens the door for you which you didn’t expect. Once he closes the door, he walks to the driver’s side and gets in.

“Excited for the weekend?” Toji asks, and you hum in response. It’s nice to know that you won’t be babysitting for the weekend– As much as you adore little Megumi. “Any plans?”

“Probably just rot away in my room, something like that. I don’t feel like doing anything. How about you?” You respond.

“Probably nothing too. First time in a while I have him off my hands for the weekend.” He shares, and you wonder why he isn’t going out to have fun since the occurrence is not common. He begins to drive to the place, and you’re both awkwardly silent. It seems like he tried to begin a conversation, and you’re not really returning that energy. You almost feel bad for it, and without noticing, for the rest of the ride you wonder what you’ll say. You don’t even realize that you’re there until Toji announces, “We’re here.”

“Oh– Thank you.” You respond and you open the car door. You’re about to exit the car but you stop yourself and then you look at him, “Do you want to go out for a drink tonight? Since you’re kid free and all.”

“A date?” Toji asks, genuinely curious. Maybe he sounds a little too hopeful, but he hopes he didn’t in your ears, it’d be embarrassing.

“No. Just us going out as neighbors.” You answer, a weak smile coming to your lips. He returns the same energy, and you wave at him before you exit the car and you walk into your job.

At around nine at night, Toji knocks on your door. You open the door, a genuine smile on your lips, having to go out to have a drink. You wear a black corset top, jeans and a jacket; Toji wears something similar outfit and a white tee in substitution for the corset top. “Ready?”

“Yes.” You say before walking out of the door. You make sure to lock it, this time leaving the key under the doormat because you don’t trust your tipsy/drunk-self since you always manage to lose everything. “I was looking up bars, and I found this one that’s maybe like ten minutes away. It has great reviews.”

“Really? Let’s go there then.” Toji says, and when you’re on the first floor, he begins to walk to his car.

“Toji, we’re walking there. It’s a ten minute walk, not drive.” You share, and he furrows his eyebrows, a bit confused about the place you’re talking about. He thinks of all the places that are nearby, and doesn’t recall a bar being so close. It’s probably a new place that he hasn’t come across yet. “We’re both going to be drinking, it’d be pretty dumb for you to drive.”

“I’m not planning to get drunk.” He replies while he walks over toward you. You wonder if that statement will remain true throughout the night, you doubt it, but then again, you don’t really know Toji. You know he has a son who is way too adorable, but that’s about all you know. “But fine. Tonight’s weather is really nice, and I’m strong enough to carry you back if you have a little too much to drink.”

You both begin to walk, and he follows your lead. You have somewhat of an idea on where the place is, so you don’t bother looking it up. Neither of you talk much while you walk since you have the rest of the night to talk about whatever your heart desires. Plus, Toji wants to stay aware of the surroundings because even though you’re not in a bad part of town, staying aware is always helpful.

You get to the place in around twelve minutes, and you grab two beers for you and Toji, while he sits. He looks around the place, and he swears bars had a different atmosphere before. It’s been a long time since the last time he stepped into one of these places. He looks around the place until he hears the light thump of the glass of beer being placed on the table. You take a seat across from him and sigh,

“Today was so tiring.” You share, and Toji hums in agreement. You both take a sip of your drinks before you ask, “How was work for you?”

“It would’ve been fine if I didn’t have to deal with a couple of pesky people. Some people just manage to ruin your day.” Toji answers and you nod as you listen. “How about you? Did you have a lot of snotty kids in class today?”

“Too many.” You chuckle. You take a sip of your drink, looking around as you think of what to say next. Then you think of Megumi, “Have you talked to Megumi? I missed spending some time with the little bugger today.”

“I did. He’s having the time of his life with his grandparents. They were taking him to the movie theater tonight.” Toji says, and you smile as you think of the toddler. “I do miss him so much. He’s always by my side. The most time we’ve spent apart is the time he’s in daycare.”

“Yeah… But it’s nice to hear that your parents can spend some time with their grandson.” You tell him. Toji clears his throat before he responds,

“They’re not my parents, they’re my late wife’s. I don’t talk to my parents.” He confesses and suddenly you have so many questions to ask but you know better than to ask him right away. You’ll have something more to drink before you ask those types of questions. You know that they’ll end up with him asking questions that you’ll answer when you’re tipsy at the bare minimum because otherwise you’ll end up in tears. “My parents don’t even know that I have a kid.”

“They don’t? Why– You don’t have to answer that.” You quickly catch your mistake. You doubt Toji would want to open up about why he doesn’t talk to his parents because it seems like a rather sensitive topic to bring up, especially since you don’t know each other all that much. Maybe it’s a way for you to get to know each other. He gulps most of his drink before speaking up.

“It’s fine. Let’s just say them and that whole family is… Horrible.” Toji answers. He wants to change the topic though, so before you can say anything else, he gulps down the rest of the beer and stands up, walking away to get another one. He comes back and attempts to smile before he changes the topic, “Why did you invite me out? I would’ve thought you had some plans with some other friends.”

“Toji, I told you last time that I don’t have friends.” You have to remind him, and he shakes his head disapprovingly before he mutters an apology. “I would think that you would’ve had plans since you’re childfree for the weekend.”

“Well this pretty girl asked me out for drinks…” He responds, and you feel your face get warm, fighting back a foolish smile because Toji called you a pretty girl. “But I had to turn her down because I made plans with you already.”

You roll your eyes at him and he ends up chuckling in response. “I’m joking. You’re the pretty girl I made plans with.”

“I knew you were joking. I doubt many pretty girls ask you out anyway.” You reply and Toji tries to act offended, but he ends up laughing.

“What? You don’t think women fawn over me?” He asks in response and you shake your head. “Hmm… By the end of the night one of these women will be on their knees for me, wanna bet?”

“I don’t want to bet on that, because you’d have to prove it some way and I’m not a fan of watching videos.” You answer, and he squints his eyes as he looks at you. You furrow your eyebrows before asking, “What?”

“You don’t want to bet because you know I’m right.” He responds, and you roll your eyes once again. You stand up to get another drink, and he just watches you walk away, biting his lip while his eyes focus on a part that maybe he shouldn’t be focusing on. He has to tear his eyes away and he focuses on finishing his drink.

“Alright since women fawn over you, you should try to hit on the bartender.” You approach the table with your new drink, and he crosses his arms while his tongue licks his teeth. He takes a moment to think about it before he stands up and walks to the bar.

You watch him as he begins to flirt with her, how she giggles at whatever he says. It’s pretty entertaining at first, until you get bored and you regret sending Toji over there because you have no one to talk to. Maybe you should approach someone else to entertain yourself, but no one around catches your eye.

Toji is still up there maybe thirty minutes later, and you entertain yourself by drinking and by looking at your phone. By ten you can’t stand up from the table to get yourself more to drink because you had too much in such a small time. You’re not drunk, you just need to sit down and wait for a bit.

You’d leave but you don’t want to just disappear without a word. You wouldn’t want him to think that you’re jealous of him flirting with someone else. That’s the last thing you want him to think. Plus you aren’t jealous, you’re just bored and he was your only source of entertainment, and now you dared him to flirt with someone else.

While you’re thinking of grabbing your purse and leaving, Toji comes back with a small piece of paper and a phone number written on it. He slams it down on the table as if it were some sort of trophy. You slowly clap before responding, “Congrats. It only took you almost an hour.”

“What? Like you can do better?” He responds and you take it to heart. You rise from your chair and look around the bar, your eyes landing on the oldest man that you can find. Toji watches you walk away, and approach a much older man. He furrows his eyebrows, feeling as if you cheated, which you somewhat did. You succeed, not even five minutes later going back to the table with the old man’s phone number. You flaunt it, and he grabs it, squinting his eyes as he reads it. He puts it down on the table before clicking his tongue and saying, “Next time try to hit on someone that has progressed past flip phones.”

“Aw, are you mad that I could get a phone number much faster than you can?” Your tone is mocking, and it irritates Toji. He looks around before he spots a pair of guys that are much younger than the guy you were hitting on. Toji tilts his head their way before he dares you,

“Get one of their numbers. No, no, no. Get both of their numbers.”

“If that’s what you want.” You answer before getting up and approaching the table with the men. You don’t have to do much. You just bite your eyelashes, put on a sweet voice, flirt a bit, show a bit of cleavage. What confuses Toji the most is the fact that you’re pointing back at him. But when you come back, you have both of the numbers. “Here. I win.”

“Why were you pointing back at me?” He questions and you shrug. You debate on telling him before you decide that you’re just having some fun, so you might as well share. It’ll be a funny story.

“One of them is gay and I was asking if they liked my dear friend Fushiguro.” You laugh, and his eyes slowly widen. Maybe he should’ve guessed something similar, but he genuinely didn’t expect that.

“So that means we’re tied because the phone number was for me.” Toji says as he makes two different piles of phone numbers. The two for him and the two for you. You shake your head and you grab the phone number that was intended for him,

“Since when is this a game? Also, I got the number so we’re not tied.” You answer, and he takes the phone number once again, and places it in his pile.

“It’s a game since you came to this table and claimed that you won.” He argues, and you chuckle before you get an amazing idea.

“Since this is a game, let’s see who can get more phone numbers by the end of the night… Or are you scared that you’ll lose?” You suggest, and Toji purses his lips together before he stands up and looks for the next person that he’ll be flirting with. You do the same.

By the end of the night, which is around an hour later, you’re both slumping on the chairs, too tired to interact with anyone else other than each other. Luckily, so many people bought you drinks, which is also unlucky for you. You’ve had way too much to drink. Not so much that you have forgotten your little game, but enough that you’re not able to walk in a straight line.

“How many phone numbers do you have?” Toji asks, pulling out all the little papers/napkins with phone numbers that were handed to him. He begins to count his, and you also reach into your pocket to do the same. You’re quiet for a moment as you two try to count to the correct number. After a minute of complete and utter silence, and counting and recounting, Toji finally announces, “Eight.”

“Twelve.” You respond not too shortly after him. He snatches the napkins from your hands and begins to count the amount while also checking that the numbers don’t repeat. And when he verifies that the number you shared is correct, he sticks out his bottom lip and begins to look away. You grab one of the numbers, the one that was intended for him, and put it in his pile. “Here so you’re not such a sore loser.”

“The game isn’t fair anyway. There’s more men here than women.” He points out, making you roll your eyes.

“The game is based on getting phone numbers. You don’t have to actually like anyone. If you flirted with some men for a change, you could’ve won.” You claim, and he crosses his arms. “They could’ve bought you some drinks too. You won’t believe the amount of alcohol I’ve had in the past hour.”

“Lucky you.” He unenthusiastically responds. He stands up and goes to the bar to get another drink, and unluckily for him he has to chat with the bartender that he was flirting with over an hour ago. It seems like she didn’t notice Toji going up to so many women, flirting with them as well. Toji has to talk to her for a bit more than he’d like before he goes back to you.

“So… what do I get as a prize?” You ask him when he takes a seat again. He shrugs in response, clearly annoyed at the fact that he lost the little game that you made.

“You get the satisfaction of knowing that you won. I think that’s enough.” He answers, making you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. You shake your head in disappointment before you say,

“You’re just mad that you lost~” You drag out the last word, which makes him sigh in annoyance. He focuses on finishing the drink to get out of the place since he isn’t in the mood to stay longer. He really is a sore loser.

“I’m gonna go.” He announces when he finishes his drink, and you stand up to go with him. He furrows his eyebrows and says, “You can say. It’s fine.”

“I’ll be so awkward without you. Plus, I’ve had enough to drink.” You answer and he ends up slowly nodding in response. He watches as you begin to walk away, and he can tell that you’ve definitely had a little too much to drink. At least you don’t seem drunk.

He catches up to you, grabbing your arm and putting it around his shoulder, while one hand goes to your waist. He makes sure you’re not as unstable as you walk, and he has to admit how awkward everything is. When you’re out of the bar and two minutes into the walk, Toji says, “Not taking the car was a very dumb idea.”

“I didn’t know that you weren’t going to drink a lot. Plus, it’s a beautiful night out.” You point out, and Toji looks up to look at the stars, but instead of seeing the tiny dots in the sky, he’s met with clouds. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that rain would begin to pour soon. There’s no sign that the rain will begin soon, so he doesn’t worry about it. “The weather is nice, plus walking is good for you.”

“Yeah… If we’re going out drinking again, I’m taking the car. It’s not like I get drunk anyway.” He shares, which is something that he should’ve shared before you began your night. You don’t think about it though. However, you do come to a stop and Toji raises a brow asking, “What’s wrong? Why did you stop?”

“I want my prize for winning.” You say, and Toji slowly blinks, trying to think of another way to tell you that you aren’t getting anything. You point back at an ice cream truck that you two walked past, a van that he hadn’t noticed but of course it didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Ok, I’ll get you a cone then we won’t ever talk about this little game of yours again.” He responds and you both begin to walk to the ice cream truck. He finds it weird that it’s open so late, but he doesn’t care, as long as he can get the ice cream and pay the prize.

You’re clearly unlucky though because when you begin to walk toward the truck, a couple appears and they get in front of you to order. It’s just ice cream though, so it shouldn’t take too long. Meanwhile, Toji pulls out his wallet and asks, “What flavor do you want?”

“I think–” You begin and you feel a raindrop fall right on the tip of your nose. You aren’t sure if it was an actual raindrop or if your mind is playing tricks on you. But another raindrop falls on your face, and you look at Toji.

“Do you think you can run all the way home?” Toji asks and you shake your head. He knows that the rain will get heavier soon, and he isn’t sure that you’ll make it home dry. He picks you off the ground and throws you over his shoulder before he says, “I’ll get you your prize tomorrow.”

“Toji…” You say but he begins to run to the apartment complex. You’re surprised at the fact that he can do this. It’s an awkward position for you, but you don’t have to walk home which is a bonus, somewhat. You hear the wind brushing against your ears. You also hear how the raindrops begin to hit the ground, and Toji is trying his best to outrun the rain, but he isn’t successful.

The rain catches up to him, even when he runs his fastest toward the apartment complex. But he gets lost. He has no idea where he’s going because he wasn’t paying attention when you lead him to the bar, and you say, “We’re lost, aren’t we?”

“A bit.” He responds with a chuckle. He’s out of breath. He’s tired but he doesn’t stop until you’re both under a shop’s roof, and he puts you down. You watch the water that drips down from his hair and your eyes pan down to his frame. The wet clothes emphasize his figure and you feel your face get warm, “We can wait for the rain to die down a bit.”

“We should.” You nod. You smile at him and your eyes search for something to focus on that's not him. So your eyes easily wander to the rain that strikes the asphalt road. It feels like it’ll take forever for the rain to pass, so you try to think of a topic of conversation. You look back at him and sheepishly smile. “I didn’t actually get all those phone numbers. I just straight up told some of them that I was playing a little game with you.”

“Really? So I won?” He asks and you bite down your bottom lip as you try to think about how many people you told about the game. You end up shaking your head,

“Let’s just say it’s a tie.” You respond. Toji can’t help but laugh. He’ll just take it as his win.

“Megumi called.” Toji shares, sitting down on the ground because his legs are tired and he needs a moment to rest. “He’s having fun at his grandparents house. So much fun.”

“Really?” You reply as you take a seat beside him. “That’s nice to hear.”

“Can I share something with you?” He begins and you hum in response. His eyes stare at the rain as he allows himself to be somewhat vulnerable around you. You look at him while you wait for his response. “I don’t feel like I’m a good enough parent for Megumi… When my late wife died, I thought it was best to give him up to his grandparents. But I couldn’t do that to him.”

“Toji, you’re literally one of the best parents I know. Trust me, I would know since I deal with a lot of parents.” You reassure him. He turns his head to look at you. “The best decision you’ve ever made was keeping him with you.”

“You think so? I’m not fucking up too bad, right?” He asks and you wrap your arms around him, unexpectedly hugging him. He needs that comfort, at least that’s what you feel like.

“You’re doing a great job, Toji.” You assure him. You hug him for a minute or so, and he hugs you back. He doesn’t remember the last time he was hugged by an actual adult. He doesn’t remember the last time he was comforted like this, and he wants to seize the opportunity. He doesn’t say it too loud, and he hopes that the sound of the rain drops will fade out the sound.

It’s faint but you hear his,

“Thank you.”

🏷️ @Instantgalaxysheep @happidiluc @Konekobby @bbqyuyuworld @slut4madara @keithslonelyreadingcorner @Tarajaxx @galactict3a @cloudsinthecosmos @uhremmi @sillyalo @klonisx @sakurasimppp @sunflwrsugar @tojianddabisslut @hiraeth117 @charismaya @megumuro @lilith412426 @violet-19999 @otakusan90s @jumpinjaxx @whatdudtheysay @jjmsg @songbirdgardensworld @t4naiis @waitcries @imvivian @miraes-world @pinksilk @apparentlycursed @spookitapes @sakuralikestars @wiserebelpartypie @elegantpotato617 @lem-hhn @missyasma @dont-ask-me-pls @hnysmut @ryomenswife @spookydaddy01 @iitangerine @Matchamidoriya @sukunababe @faahsung

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #anime #jujutsu kaisen x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #daddy toji #toji zenin #jujutsu toji #toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x y/n #fushiguro toji #toji x you #dilf toji #toji fic

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ponett · 11 months

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i have to remind myself not to look at random inane sonic discourse on twitter because it takes like five seconds to stumble into shit like this on the replies to random tweets. sonic fans will just say shit like this that is not even remotely true to talk shit on contributors they don't like, and when you try to dig for a source what you find is that some person on a forum said something that's kinda halfway similar (in this case: a claim that ian was supposed to write the script forces but didn't) and then it got mutated into a completely different claim via the big game of telephone that is the sonic fandom

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greenfinchwriter · 1 month

Text

The same loud,toxic,ignorant show-only fandom minority fraction complaining about new fans coming to the fandom from Netflix,and doing their usual bully and gatekeep routine,is amusing to me.

It's not the Netflix folks that are the issue, it's them.

First they invaded TVC fandom spaces,and now they are once again the aggressors (against windmills).

Oh you're afraid some people won't be respectful, or interact with show and fandom correctly? I'm sorry but that part of the show-only fandom doesn't get to whine and fuss about other people's possible/imagined lack of media literacy and fandom etiquette when they are the epitome of both.

The VC fandom was never idyllic,no fandom is, but for the most part everyone was fairly tolerant, and mostly lived by the cardinal rules of fandom: Ship and let ship, don't like don't read, and so forth. It was nice, having a minimum amount of fandom purity culture, and a high media literacy rate. Again, to be clear there are severe anti,and negativity issues in the TVC fandom on its own without toxic show only elements coming in recently. But that is a different post for a different time. And those toxic TVC internal people certainly don't mind being validated by those equally toxic newcomers who agree with them. Imho they would usually be the people to gatekeep anyone from the source material but their takes being validated, and parrotted supersedes even that.

Internal antis have been around for a long time but they have never dominated fanspaces as they do now. Worse though, external antis posing as internal ones who are using popular media for their own agendas are given a stronger voice under the guise of "social justice", and people go along with it because it's en vogue,and they are afraid of being stamped as "not ideologically pure enough".

To be clear it's not the entire show only fandom by far but unfortunately a significant vocal part of it has been incredibly rude and toxic towards the original TVC fandom, and the books themselves.

And the ongoing disrespect for the source material is as infuriating as it is heartbreaking.

The source material is just fine when it can, somehow,be twisted,cherrypicked or esoterically "interpreted" to support or "give credence to" some sort of projecting,nonsense headcanon people decided is real canon especially when it pertains to Marius,Armand, and Lestat. Or to try to "predict" what will happen in the show in future seasons. But apart from that? Nope. Even when those show only "fans" deign to pick up the books, they are incapable of separating the version of the show they made up in their heads and read them the same way they read the classics - with 21st century Twitter approved faux social activism glasses,and disdain because, shocker, the genre and books isn't for them,and not exactly the sanitized fantasy they had in their heads.

Only reading the Devil's Minion chapter, cherrypicked passages on social media,and the game of telephone of "what some person's cousin's step-mutual on Twitter or on here claimed happens", isn't the same as having read,loved,and analyzed the novels for up to *decades*.

The Vampire Chronicles,and its fandom deserves better than that.

The TVC fandom aren't the ones who monopolize characters they don't (want to) understand. That part of the show fandom spams tags that aren't theirs - including but not limited to posting anti rhetoric in character tags.

There can't be any more even worse takes by the Netflix folks than there already are thanks to that part of the show only fandom. We've already hit rock bottom there,so deep breaths, it will be just fine. At worst a large chunk of them won't get the show and don't know or respect the books either - they are just alike! No need to be afraid of a mirror. At best some folks coming from there will genuinely love and engage with the show in fun, and intellectual ways. Maybe we'll even get some more "book lovers who don't despise the show and enjoy it for what it is", or people who enjoy and understand the show enough to seek out the books,and read them without prejudice, or for pure desire of fandom cred.

So frankly,their performative sulking is pretty damn funny.

I will take them seriously as soon as they start showing respect to,and understanding of the source material, or admit that they don't have a clue,and either are willing to learn,or leave because they can finally admit that the genre, and stories just aren't for them. Or as soon as they can learn the cardinal fandom rules,and be respectful of and to the old guard TVC fandom.

If someone wants to only enjoy the show,perfectly fine, but then don't talk about the books at all, and treat the characters as original characters that only happen to share names with the book characters but are entirely separate.

Have to keep insisting that:

- Marius is a one-note cartoon villain pedo and rapist,and every breath he takes is an affront to the G-ds,and he's solely to blame for aaaallll of Armand's trauma,and every ill in the world since before the dawn of man, and every time the wifi messes up and Armand can't play Minecraft

- Lestat is somehow are devious master of puppets and also a sadistic abuser with zero other qualities

- Armand is an pure,innocent,sad uwu babe in arms who has ever only been a poor,perfect victim seeking love and is so very swowwy for all of the bad things he did,and totally traumatized by them.

- Devil's Minion is a wholesome,quirky,pure love story,and all the "bad" parts are Marius's,Lestat's, Louis's,and Daniel's faults somehow.

And so forth.

Then,hell, give them their own names, here let me help you:

Fake Marius is now Maurizio

Fake Lestat is Jean-Paul

Fake Louis is Jerry

Fake Armand is Alain

Fake Daniel is Doug

You're welcome.

In short: Don't be afraid of the Netflix crowd. The worst takes are already alive and thriving, and no one has perished (except the sane parts of the tvc and show fandoms,of course). Only the show and that particular faction of its fans via their takes can make it worse, and it doesn't matter how or where they watch from.

Being a decades long,obsessive book fan,and someone who does love the show for what it is, I'm already disillusioned.

People have already come in and shit on some of my most beloved characters from the books - Marius,Lestat,and yes Armand,because those specific show only Armand apologists don't actually love or understand the real,canon,book Armand. Or, frankly,the one in the show either. They love a sanitized,infantilized simulacrum of him they created in their heads, and now furiously try to make that canon.

#vent post #amc iwtv #the vampire chronicles #tvc #vampire chronicles #text post #txt post #amc iwtv on netflix #fandom life #fandom meta #media literacy #fandom etiquette #reading comprehension #fandom purity culture #amc iwtv meta #not the entire fandom but a large part of it #anti censorship #anti anti

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redux-iterum · 23 days

Note

To my recollection, it was also that time when a lot of tumblr and internet fandom in general was ready to harass people online at the drop of a hat for literally nothing. Everything had to be “the right” representation, absolutely perfectly, always, and if anyone ever dared make something that wasn’t (according to a mass of ever shifting mob decided guidelines) they were on a personal mission to ruin pride.

I saw a lot of authors and artists get mobbed for just, writing and drawing what they had been doing the whole time, you know? But suddenly it was “evil” and the callout game of telephone made sure enough people knew they were “bad people” (regardless of actual fact)

So to the first anon who originally asked why the redux got any hate at all, honestly at the time it didn’t matter who did do any thing or not, there were a lot of people who just wanted excuses to send hate mail, and they got an excuse for this blog. It’s not fair.

Be kind to others, online and off.

God, that era was awful. Someone I follow had to quit a fanfic (and then eventually returned to it in recent times like myself) because people were harassing her to the point of invading her Discord servers and sending constant, extremely cruel hate messages for the crime of writing a sad story that set out to be troubling. I can't tell you how relieved I was when the Twitter exodus happened and Tumblr suddenly became peaceful. Funny note how as soon as we weren't allowed to look at porn on this site, the mightiest of righteous crusaders for purity and justice suddenly disappeared to burn Twitter down into the hellhole it is now. Makes one think.

#ask #anonymous #redux drama #i speak #queue

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glaciertea · 5 months

Text

Masterlist here

Tales the Songs Weave

Ch.11<< >>Ch.13

Notes: Miguel shows you a very important person that was in his life.

CW: Grieving/mourning

Artwork done by @/Melteyyo on Twitter

Chapter 12: Just Let My Love Adorn You

Word count: 6.3K

For the past couple of weeks, you and Miguel have been essentially inseparable. Every other night, he would sneak you into the HQ or cut his days shorter and shorter to hang out at your place or job.

Occasionally spending an hour at the botanical garden if given the chance.

Miguel's excuses started to become more noticeable and rampant as to why he couldn't be around for certain assignments or missions.

A game of telephone began when a few spiders gossiped and took bets about where their commander vanishes to; however, it escalated quite rampantly when Miguel's attitude seemed slightly less perturbed.

He would still retain those explosive moments, then promptly inhale and exhale, following it up with an actual conversation. It didn't fully waver his palpable tantrums and hostility.

He just came off as less grumpy, and that was enough to get the snowball tumbling towards the steep. Betting pools were established by the braver ones, but they were quickly shut down when Jess caught wind of that.

She finds herself at the forefront exceedingly often now, and it's been grating on her. With her new underling, keeping track of the anomalies, piles of paperwork, and basically dealing with his tasks and her pregnancy.

Needless to say, Jess wasn't in the best of moods. She interrogated Miguel at any chance she was allowed, probing on about these codes and asking about the gizmos and goobers he keeps accumulating over time.

“This project must really be something big if you need all this junk. That's what? The sixth time that you went out to get these items in the span of two weeks, and I've yet to see you actually touch them.”

Jess dryly stated, picking up some busted chips and tossing them back into the cardboard box.

“I told you, Jess, several hundred times. It takes time. I'm going to use them; now let it go all the way. I'm tired of hearing about it.” Miguel typed away, a clear indication of displeasure.

“Oh, you're tired? That's so funny, because I don't think I'm tired of asking.” She crossed her arms over her protuberant stomach.

“Jess, will you just leave it?!” He jeered at her, but she refused to back down.

“And what about that code? Gwen asked me the other day about it. When exactly will you fix the portal's jerky momentum? I would've thought there would have been some prototypes or something.”

Jess knew she was poking the beast, but at this point, all care was thrown out the window.

“And those reports. You've been falling back again after that night when I told you to help. You were doing them for three days, but then you fell right back off!”

The sounds of metal echoed in the air as Miguel scraped his desk, incarcerating the explosion that was sneaking its way out.

A young spider in a gold and green one-piece turtleneck spandex leotard, covered in webs, froze at the ear-piercing noise.

Jess and Miguel faced the spider, who apprehensively shuffled backwards.

“I think I'm distributing something; I-I'll just ask later.”

They shot out a web, swinging as fast as their webs could carry them.

“Right. Miguel, I'm tired. I AM tired. After that first day, you came back two hours late. I said that would be the only time. But I kept letting it slide, trying to give you the benefit of the doubt!”

Jess threw her hands up, marching back and forth. “Now look at where that has gotten me! I'm the fool in your circus!”

He used his breathing techniques, cursing under his breath. He's done this by himself many times. He never got a break; he barely had any. He wanted to scoff at Jess as silence pricked the cold air.

He didn't need this.

“Jeez Miguel, did you have to send us on a mission like that? I nearly busted my back in that fight!”

He didn't need this.

“Peter, we did most of the fighting. You were too busy trying to get a hold of Mayday.”

“I don't know why I let her wear that web shooter today; that was an accident.”

An elated shrill, followed by clapping, sprang from below.

He didn't need this.

“Oi, are you going to acknowledge us? I know you don't like using manners, but at least pretend to show some.”

He REALLY didn't need this.

“Hey Jess, are you talking to Miguel about the portal thing?” Gwen greeted her mentor as the older woman just turned towards Miguel, whose back was the only thing for show.

“He hasn't made any progress.”

“What about portals, Gwendy?”

“Are you finally getting around to fixing it? Now that thing is janky for your back! I told you this before, Miggy!” Peter flung himself up on the high rise.

Miguel really tried using those breathing methods that you'd taught him, but so far, his nerves were winning. May, as usual, fled from her carrier and swung herself all over the room, screeching with full glee.

“Hey, where did you want us to store the anomaly? Peter here forgot to bring the light cages, though I still find that method of holding them in confinement as if they were animals indecent.”

“Look, I just happened to misplace them; it happens! Hey, are you doing alright there, buddy? Seems as if you’re about to blow a fuse.”

Peter scooted closer to the irritated man, as Miguel did everything in his power to not have an outburst. His muscles strained, his eyes drawn shut, mumbling to himself in Spanish.

Jess apathetically stared, and a hand was planted on her hip. Hobie and Gwen side-eyed each other, curious about how this was going to pan out.

“What were you guys actually discussing, Jess?” Hobie leaned on a nearby steel wall, messing with one of his guitar picks.

Jess was taunting Miguel at this point, unapologetic about this whole situation.

“He was just about to explain the mass of reports and what we were going to do about them. Isn’t that right, Miguel?”

He knew the game she was playing, and he wasn’t trying to join in. Peter approached even closer and bent over to take a look at his friend. “Hey, you’re good. Just say what you have to say.”

“So, are those portals not getting fixed?” Gwen swayed as Miguel’s anger tempted to jump out when he opened his mouth.

Then the lightbulb switched on.

“Gwen!” Miguel accidentally yelled at the young teen.

“Jeez, dude, you don’t have to do all that, but what’s up?”

“How good are you at filling out reports?”

Jess raised an eyebrow, wondering exactly where he was going with this.

“Uh, they’re pretty easy. Just like a high school essay, you’re bullshi-” Miguel narrowed his gaze at the ghost spider before she quickly caught herself. “Summarizing events by making them sound smart and sophisticated. I can do about, let’s see, fifteen in under an hour if the time permits.”

“You’re free from missions for the rest of the week to help Jess catch up on reports. I will also help out if I’m able to. If that's okay with you, Jess?” Miguel eyeballed her, derisiveness in that question.

Jess tongue was in her cheek as she could only roll her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Also, I do have code written up for the device. It’s just in my unique language, so taking notes will be a hassle for Spider-Byte to understand; however, I can make a simple guide for the ones that she is comfortable with. So tell her she can begin with that.”

Jess clicked her tongue and inclined her head. “Alright. I’ll get to her about that. Let’s go, Gwen, and I’ll supply you with a light cage, Hobie. Have a nice day, Peter. Miguel.”

Gwen shrugged her shoulders at the Brit, who nonchalantly joined in with her, as the three made their way out.

May, who was crawling on the desk, was picked up by Peter, stunned by that display, as Miguel’s eyes darted from the PCs to the flabbergasted man, making him sweat.

“Will you stop looking at me that way?!”

“I have never seen you so calmly handle yourself like that before!” Peter joyfully slapped the dented desk a few times.

“So?”

“So? You’re learning how to control your temper! That’s really good for you. Have you been watching meditation videos? I do enjoy those zen ones, especially where you’re in a jungle. Hearing those aggressive caws and shrieks from whatever banshee that is really puts Mayday and I to sleep. Isn’t that right? That’s right, Mayday!”

Mayday cooed as Peter bounced her. Miguel just squinted and shook his head.

“No, none of that weird background noise. Just advice someone gave me to just get help from others.”

Peter scoffed and twisted his face at the background comment, then immediately perked up with a glint in his eye. “It’s that girl, isn’t it? It is! Look at you! How have you two been? Wait, you never told me about that date you went on with her; how did it go?”

Miguel stone-faced Peter, but his enthusiasm was oddly contagious. Miguel thought about the days you two have spent together and how you have given nothing but balance and care. He adores being by your side and wouldn’t have it any other way.

“You’re smiling!” Peter pointed at Miguel’s lips.

“N-no! I’m not smiling.” He replaced whatever crept on him with a disgruntled one.

“No, no, you can’t hide it from me." Peter teased him a bit more before patting his back. "I’m happy for you, bud. You deserve this and many more. I’m glad she can give something that many of us can't.”

Miguel bowed his head in thanks and for the recognition in general.

“Going to see her again?”

“Yes, tonight. Don’t tell anyone. And if something were to happen, I’m directing all calls to Lyla, so I’m letting you know in advance.”

“Yes, sir, captain vampire, sir.” Peter stood tall and saluted.

“Don’t ever say that again unless you want to keep that hand.”

“Right, duly noted. Oh! Time to head on off. Mary is making her famous tacos tonight, and I cannot miss that. See you later, Miguel. Don’t have too much fun now. Yes, they are bundles of joy, but I miss my sleep at times.”

“Peter!”

“Have a good rest of the day! Say bye-bye to Miguel, Mayday!” A gurgled attempt rang from the redhead as Peter ventured down the corridor, his babbling baby talk and May’s squeals dying down.

Miguel groaned out and waited until the only sounds he could hear were the machines and nothing more. He pulled out his phone and immediately began to text you.

‘We’re still on for tonight, mi Luna? Also, tell Ronnie to stop slipping her digital business cards in the boxes. I’m not passing them out at the HQ.’

Several seconds went by when a message from you popped up.

‘Yes, mi Estrella. My place or yours? And I told her. She immediately went into a tirade about how you’re being a bad business wing-partner? How it's profession 101, and you’re a “crappy” employee.’

‘Mines, I want to show you something. AND, tell her to stop saying that I'm working for her!’

An instant reply. ‘Got it. And show me something? What is it? Oh, and Ronnie says, and I quote: “You keep denying your work ethics, and I will have to write you up again, lackey.” You’re on thin ice with her, haha.’

‘It’s something that’s… very special to me. And name one time I’m not. I already passed her two-count warning, yet I still managed to garner more.’

‘Ooh, something special. Well, I’m very honored to see it. And she holds this soft spot for you, which she doesn’t give to many. So consider yourself lucky. I think?’

He imagined you giggling over that.

‘Ay, don’t know if I would, but I don’t want her beating me with that bat, so I guess I’ll just have to accept it. But I’ll come get you later on tonight. I’ll see you then, mi corazón.’

‘You won’t get the weapon. I’ll make sure to put a stop to that! But I'll see you tonight, Miggy. I can’t wait to see you.’

Miguel had a slanted grin and settled the phone next to him. Peeking in the corner, a certain video replayed over and over. He dragged the recording to the middle of the screen, zooming it out.

He bleakly glazed over it, remembering that day so well. A harsh waft dragged from between his lips as his eyes tirelessly drooped as she smiled brighter than any star in the sky.

“Hola, Gabi. No pasa un día sin que te extrañe... I–do you remember that person I was telling you about before? The one where I didn’t know how they would react to all that I'd done? Well, they–they accepted that part of me, and it made me feel so warm. Si, mi osita, just like your favorite polka-dotted, fuzzy socks.”

He gave a weak chuckle before continuing.

“Well, I want you to meet them tonight. I know it’s scary meeting new people; I understand, but don’t worry; this person is very kind and sweet. Si, sweeter than jamoncillo and sticky toffee pudding combined. Si, osita, I know they will like you, maybe even more than me. I promise you two will be—”

Miguel’s words got caught in his throat.

“Would've been the best of friends.”

Rapidly blinking his eyes, he concealed the video in plain sight and went straight to work, trying to occupy his mind.

He found himself getting more frustrated as his own mind constricted him. The last few hours were rough on him, somehow worse than previous times, but when that alarm went off, signifying that it was time to get you, that burden parted halfway but was still attached to him.

Miguel dashed around the HQ, hiding in corners or clawing up the ceilings, sneaking into the giant ventilation systems whenever others passed by.

Rounding the exit he needed, he used his inhuman speed, taking a straight shot to the secret back entrance and portal over to your apartments.

Unbeknownst to him, the spider from earlier swung their way back into Miguel's dreary office, anxiously squeaking his name.

“Mr. Miguel? You in here? I have a very serious question regarding my future love life in this establishment!”

They poked their head through, swishing it back and forth.

“Mr. Miguel? Bleh bleh bleh?”

Stepping further in, they were met with an empty space, with Lyla lazily paying attention to the monitors.

“How does he do this all day? It's only been five minutes, and I'm so bored.”

She flicked around some display footage before scrolling over some social media websites.

“Are you kidding, he isn't here? I just need this simple question answered! They told me he's usually here! What the heck gives?” The spider grumbled and impatiently webbed away.

Lyla jumped at the voice before teleporting around, trying to locate who that exactly was as it faded away.

“Uh, I hope that wasn't important.” Lyla shrugged, returning her partial surveillance to the multiverse before immediately going back to scrolling around the internet.

The spider went around, questioning if anyone had seen Jess. After running back and forth for what seemed like ages, they finally tracked her down near the front lobby.

“Jessica! Mrs. Jessica!” The spider called out and flipped their way to the woman.

Jess dropped her arm from her face and blurred at the person wanting them. “Oh, you're that spider from earlier. Um, you're uh-”

“Spider-Tune. I'm from E-75309, but most people call me Jeni.”

“Right, one of the newer recruits. What's up?” Jess rested her back on the drywall.

Not wanting to delay or build up anticipation, Jeni clapped their hands together. “I was just curious about the dating rules and regulations here at the establishment.”

“You want to… date?” Jess raised an eyebrow.

“Mhm! I want to start dating someone.”

Jess gaped, her eyes casting from side to side, slightly perplexed. “Well, I mean, you can date anyone where you're from. No one is really preventing you.”

She waves a hand over her stomach.

“You know you'll just have to go through the training cou-”

“No, I mean, can I date another spider here in the headquarters? I'm aware I can in my world, but I've been talking to this really, really cute Peter, and I won't lie, I want in on that. So is that allowed, or do I have to jump through some hoops?”

Jess barely batted an eye. This wasn't the first time that question had been evoked. It only informs who carefully studied the guidelines versus who skimmed through them.

“Well, establishing a relationship with another spider is possible only within this dimension, but it's highly unacceptable.”

Jeni cocked their head. “So is that a yes?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Yes.”

Jeni deadpanned as they tried to make sense out of it, making Jess heave out an exasperated sigh.

“If you are striving to date another spider, you may only do it on the grounds in this dimension. Sure, you may visit each other with the watches, but you'll eventually have to cut your losses as different people from different universes cannot intermingle. No merging. I am sure you are aware of that.”

Jeni whined and stamped their feet a few times. Jess wearily observed the spider's mini-tantrum and raised her hands.

“I'm sorry, but we have to enforce these rules to keep us all safe.”

“It’s just–it's so unfair how he gets to do it, but we can't. He gets to leave his job whenever, and he gets to date a spider-person? How typical.”

That caught Jess's ear, a probing look etched on her face. “What spiders are seeing each other? Do you know their names or earth numbers? I just want to make sure they know what they're getting themselves into.”

Jeni bobbed their head furiously. “Uh-huh! It's the big man himself. Just because he's the leader, he thinks he gets to go around and bring a Spider-woman from another dimension to his place, but we can't even do that in our own worlds? Such a double standard!”

Jess went dead silent. Her expression is grim. Then her eyebrows knitted together before morphing into a scornful, incredulous one.

“Oh, you have got to be—did you see him with this Spider-woman? Do you know who she is?”

Jeni yelped at the sudden steely, lividness. “Oh, well no, I haven't personally seen it. But one of my new friends said he sees Miguel with her. I wonder if she's a fresh hire as well.”

“Which friend?” Jess sent a chill down their spine.

“Pri- Pete- uh, E-77793 Peter. He only just tells me he sees them but doesn't go into detail because he's scared he'll get in trouble.”

Jess bit her tongue, both hands now firmly placed on her hips, her eyes leering in a specific direction.

“Alright. Alright. This heffa here really thinks he's... You're dismissed. Thank you for that, and have a good rest of your night.”

Jess turned and began to tread off back into the main hub of the building.

Jeni slack-jawed, their brain baffled at what just unfolded. “Think I got the big boss in trouble. Whoops. Well, don't make the rules if you can't follow them.” They mumbled and strolled off in a different direction.

“Lyla!” Jess stormed towards the elevators, a heated drive in her face.

“What's up? What's the rush?” The A.I. popped up next to her shoulder.

“I need access to the security cameras for all sectors near Miguel's apartment. Now.”

Lyla sucked in her teeth and picked the non-existent lint off her coat. “Ooh, no can do, Jess.”

Jess screeched her steps. “What do you mean you can't? I'm allowed access to all footage when he isn't here, and as far as that spider told me, he's not here. Lyla, I'm not in the mood to be playing these games.”

“No, no, I understand. But that's the thing. He's here; that's why I can't give them to you.”

Jess held back her own exploding temper. “Where is he? I need to speak with him.”

“No point in trying to have a pleasant conversation over tea. He barred himself up in the room. Something about working on an invention or something other.” She stretched her arms before crossing them.

“You can go, Lyla.” Her voice contained nothing but strain and sourness.

“Alright. See ya, Jess.” And with that, she was gone.

Jess rubbed her face and groaned furiously. “I'll have to gather evidence the old-fashioned way.”

She tapped her watch a few times, her eyes deeply fixed on trying to search for a certain spider.

“Alright. I hope you have a lot to say.” Jess rotated her body away from the elevators and out towards the front entrance.

• • •

“You did? Look at you!” You merrily jabbed at his arm.

You and Miguel were snuggling on his mattress, munching down on beef and chicken-flavored empanadas Miguel snagged from the canteen.

“It’s not much of a thing to be excited or proud about. I just wanted you to know I took your advice and it worked out.”

You puffed your cheeks and pouted your lips. “Hey, hey, no. It most definitely is. You’re trying to do more for yourself. You are taking into account what you feel as though you want or need to work on and applying it to situations. So yes, it is something to be proud of and excited about!”

Miguel snorted a bit and shook his head. “Ay dios mío, you sound like Peter.”

"Well, clearly, Peter and I have an eye for an eye. We can see something that you’ll see one day. But for now, we are just… transcending on a different quantum level!”

Miguel choked on his empanada, coughing loudly as spurts of laughter would burst out.

“I-is tha-that what you ca-call it?” He regained his breath and wiped away some tears.

You giggled alongside him, patting his back. “I honestly wasn't expecting that to get you.”

“I wasn't expecting it to get me either.”

He placed his empty container on the floor and scooted until his back hit the wall, wiping his hands on his pajama pants.

You followed suit, tossing your half-eaten fried treat in the take-out box. You both sit in comfortable silence, peace flowing in the air as you face ahead, nearly shoulder to shoulder.

You debated if you should ask about that special thing he wanted to show you, but decided to have him present it whenever he was ready. You were highly curious about it but didn’t want to come off as rude and pry too much. Miguel suddenly flopped his head backward.

“You’re allowed to ask, mi corazón. Even though it’s coming from me, you don’t need to feel as though you have to defer or walk around eggshells.”

“How did you know I was thinking of that? And I’m aware; I just don’t want you fraught or to trouble you.”

“Ay, mi Luna, you are the last person to make me go through those things.” He pulled out a tablet shoved underneath the mattress and handed it to you. “And let’s say it was a hunch on how I knew.”

Your eyes peered down at the dark screen, as the only thing casting was a reflection of you and Miguel. You continued gazing upon him, seeing how his expression dropped solemnly.

“I–there is someone I want you to meet. Someone who was... very dear and close to my heart.”

You figured out who might be, but kept your mouth shut and let him continue.

“I talked about her when we went to the botanical garden that first time, and I think now–now would be the best time for you to get to know her.”

You only nodded, allowing him to take over. As you understood, this must have been difficult for him to do. He inputted a password, and there was a single file on the device. He hesitated for a moment before a choking sob nearly escaped him.

He clicked on the image, and the video began to play. It was of a young girl wearing a football uniform who bore a striking resemblance to Miguel. They were both laughing, her on his shoulders with a cupcake in her hand.

“Hola, mi osita, te extraño muchísimo. Do you remember the person I was telling you about? This is her. Mi Luna, this is Gabriella.”

Even though the room was despondent, you managed to display an enthusiastic wave. “Hi Gabriella, it's so nice to meet you!”

Watching the screen together, you both soberly laugh when she gets icing on his cheek.

“How was she in football?”

“Oh, a beast. She was agile and calculating, always a step ahead of her opponent.”

You darted your eyes up at him before going back to the video.

“She did have moments of playing rough. It wouldn't be a game without her getting at least one penalty, but she would make up for lost time tenfold.”

You grinned. “She sounds like she was the brightest ray of sunshine.”

“It was never a dull day with her, I can tell you that.”

You both continued watching when the video ended and clicked off as you noticed teardrops on the tablet screen. You looked up at Miguel, wiping his eyes and trying to cover them with his hands. You blinked a few times, wanting to hold back your own, but refused and allowed them to fall along with him.

“She was beautiful, Miguel. Is. You–you said she was someone very deep and close to your heart, but I believe she still is. And she will always be as long as she remains in your heart, soul, and mind.”

Miguel tilted his head down and was met with that emphatic smile. You were so compassionate and gentle. Your patience never falters, no matter what. More hot tears splashed down his nose, jaw, and cheeks, and right onto his pants and sheets.

You fully handed him the tablet. When it was in his hands, he hugged it.

He hugged it like it would disappear from his grasp. It would be gone just like that. He trembled as he unclenched his jaw and opened his mouth.

A strangled sob escaped. It was painful, as it took a few heaves, but it eventually flowed out. You rubbed his arm and shoulder, silently weeping with him.

You knew you may never fully understand the pain he's going through, but you knew right now that all he needed was a shoulder to cry on. That you would give him the water he wants and needs to have him grow into that flower that will bring its bloom back.

And Miguel would allow you to give him every drop.

Two strings lie stranded.

Miguel spooned you as you both observed the city and night.

After crying both of your tear ducts dry and cradling each other and the tablet, you two pacified your minds, spending the next hour quiet, cuddling and massaging each other's backs, arms, and shoulders.

“Mi Luna?”

You hummed, nestling more into his warming hold.

“How do you feel about kids? Would you ever have any?”

Your eyes jutted open, and you repositioned yourself so you were looking into his crimson-brown eyes.

“Oh, well. I enjoy being around them. I would like to have some, as they bring joy and all…”

You trailed off, as did your eyes. You felt wrong about this, especially after what he has been and is going through. You didn't think it was the most appropriate thing to delve into.

Miguel noticed your dispirited expression as he cupped your face, rubbing his retracted claw over your soft cheek.

“Corazón, it's okay. I'm asking you. I want to talk about this with you. I know you believe this isn't right, but I'm telling you everything we discuss right now will not hurt me. It'll sting, but I will manage."

Even him speaking those words shocked him.

“Are you sure? I don't want you to feel as if you're required to chat about this.”

“Oye. Ay, te preocupas mucho por mí. Go ahead and finish your answer.”

He knocked his forehead on yours, making you huff and chuckle.

“Okay, okay. I would like to have a pretty big family, but as of now, I think I'll start with one or two. Help me understand the grounding of how it'll go.”

“It makes sense when you lay it out like that.”

You nodded your head as the air suddenly tensed up. Miguel released a spent sigh.

“Ask, mi corazón. I'm not going to get upset or go into a downcast state. I had these thoughts myself if I'm asking you for your opinions and views.”

Squeezing his broad shoulders, you briefly nodded. “Okay, if you say it's okay, it's okay! Well, I know how you feel about kids, but if given the possibility... to have more, how many would you have?”

Miguel looked up at the ceiling, pretending to be deep in thought, before gazing back down. “Like you, I would've wanted a big family. I would want them to be endlessly spawned.”

You beamed at that. “I'm not surprised you would want so many.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” He tickled your sides, making you squeal and fidget.

“Hey! Hey!” You laughed, gently slapping before alluding for him to keep going.

“Let's see, how would you raise your kids? What would you like them to be like?”

"Well, like I said before, kids require a lot of patience, so I'll show them kindness and care. I may have stern moments, but I will want them to understand at their own pace as well. Maybe show more than tell certain actions.”

You rested your head on his chest. “And how would I want them to be? I mean, I have moments where I imagine them to be a certain way, but I know that at the end of the day, they are still their own people. I can introduce activities and hobbies, but it's up to them if they'll like to continue.”

Your eyes wandered. “Maybe we can do things that will become a tradition. Family cooking on certain days, maybe a big trip once or twice a year. Things like that.”

Miguel stroked your back and smiled. “You put a lot of thought into this.”

Squeezing your eyes shut, you could only gleam. “Your turn, mister.”

“Si, si.” He tittered out. “Let's see, I would want them to be able to venture out and face things for themselves. I will still show them the ropes and love, but I'm sure I can push them to the wolves. They'll be fine. It'll be fun.”

You crumpled your face, causing him to crack up. “Joking! Estoy bromeando, lo prometo. But I would want them to strive and work hard towards the goals and aspirations they will have. With a little bit of being thrown into the den.”

“Miggy!” You nudged him with your chin.

“I'm joking! Joking. Yeah. Let's go with that.” He kisses your forehead.

“What's one thing you would want them to inherit from you?” You perked your head in between his pecs.

“Mentally or physically?”

“Both.”

“Well, my intelligence. As you said, I have that big boy brain for science and math.” You both grinned at that. “And physically? I…”

You watched as Miguel slightly dissociated before faintly blinking back. “I–nothing. I'm too much of a… of a–”

“A strong man with beautiful features and incredible powers?”

“Whose body is horribly genetically altered into this giant freak? That has to deal with these abnormalities to keep this body going.”

A boiling force emerged from you. Pressing your forehead into his, that blazing passion you held for him burned through.

“Stop that! You have to take extra stuff to help your body keep flowing, but guess what? Some may need more accommodations than others, but that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less important or valuable. So, one nice thing! One!”

Miguel was taken aback by your firmness and robust determination. But yet, it was oddly nice to have someone have that drive for him.

“I would like for them to have… my enhanced hearing or sight, or my speeds.”

“Ooh, sight. You do have beautiful eyes. But don't talk down on yourself, or else I’ll kiss you until you conform.”

“It sounds more like a reward than a punishment.” He brushed your hair with his palm.

“It can be a mixture.” You snickered, “But know that you are allowed to show yourself a bit of compassion. I would lie and say I don’t struggle with showing it to myself, but I don’t want to expose myself too much.” You stuck your tongue out.

“You will be a good mom.” Miguel caressed your cheek, making you flustered.

“Uh, uh, your turn.”

“You still have to answer the physical and mental question." A smirk creased the left side of his face.

“My knowledge of random trivia and, um, whatever looks good on me!” You swatted him, wanting to change the subject.

“Your smile.”

Your breath hitched as you tried to hold back that squeal. “Yo-your turn!” You croaked out.

His smirk got even wider.

“Alright, what about baptism?”

“Baptism? I'll be fine with it, but any particular reason?”

“I just don't want my mama crawling out of her grave and beating me with her own casket if I don't. And I'm Irish as well, so I also don't want my ancestors pummeling me with their headstones either.”

A giggle slipped. “That's perfectly understandable.”

“And it's just the baptism part, not so much the ‘pray to the pope,’ Catholic ordeal. Well, only if they want to pray to that old man.”

“I like to think I'm spiritual, but I think I would've weirdly compromised with the religion.”

“Spiritual? Oh wow, I never would've guessed. Nope, none at all.”

You gently nudged his chest a few times and blew a raspberry.

“¡Oye! You're the one who told me you don't mind a good sarcastic remark.” He entrapped his arms around you, bringing you closer to his chest.

You two begin to playfully wrestle, tussling back and forth for a minute, laughter ricocheting off the bedroom walls, until Miguel allows you to pin him down. Sucking in a good amount of air, you both become entranced by one another's gaze.

“How are you feeling?” You glide your hand down the outline of his jawline, feeling the scratchiness from his stubble.

“Now, or in general?” Miguel lulled at your touch.

“Both.”

“Now? I feel content, a sentiment I'm rarely allowed. In general? I don't know. I always think I know what's going on, whether it's inside or all around. That I have everything under control. But now... now I can't say what direction to face.”

“One thing I learned about life is that it can lead you down many paths. You may never know where it can take you. The one you may trail could suddenly take a left, then a sharp right.”

You pecked his cheek and yawned out, nuzzling the top of your head in the crook of his neck. “Life is a funny thing. Some see it as set in stone, but I believe it's not. You can't really put a timestamp on it. Maybe you can change your outcomes, and that itself can lead you down other routes you didn't even think were possible. You can always plan for it, but that doesn't mean it will always fall through.”

There was a hitch in his breath. A sullen uneasiness rushed him internally as his mind jumbled, screeching to him about what he witnessed and about the canon.

But he decided to ignore it.

One day, he would talk to you about the canon and how the timelines work. Yet for now, he was engaging in this itch. The longing and desire for your presence.

The time will unveil itself in all of its glory. But it can wait.

“Mi Estrella?” Your words slurred a bit as you fought to stay awake.

“Oh, sorry, mi Luna, I'm taking in the wisdom you've imparted onto me. I wish I had that type of smarts.”

“Shush. With that enormous brain, you probably have a bazillion amounts of sagacity running through that you may never even know of.”

An exhale of a chortle puffed out from his mouth and nose. “There are so many I'm unaware of. I should probably start looking into that.”

“You definitely should.”

Tranquility befallen them. He loves this. This serenity.

“I just realized something.”

“And what's that, mi Luna?”

“At the botanical garden, you said daisies represent new beginnings.”

“Mhm?”

“And that the moon is also the start of something new. Miguel, did you do that on purpose? Are you saying I'm a new beginning to something?”

Miguel leaned his head down and kissed the crown of your hair.

“Eres el nuevo paso hacia algo que hace mucho que no puedo dar. Gracias, mi Luna. Gracias por todo.”

You couldn't decipher the first half but were able to translate the last.

Thank you. Thank you for everything.

You didn't fully understand why he was thanking you, but you didn't stall on it much longer than you felt like you needed to.

“I... I love you, mi Estrella.” You snuggled up even more somehow, dozing off on his chest, your soft snores flowing in his ears.

Miguel's heart nearly exploded out of his chest.

Did you mean to say that? Surely you didn't as it was probably the drowsiness that crept up talking for you.

Surely you couldn't love him.

So why did he trust and believe those three simple words?

“Mi Luna, mi corazón. Mi tierra, mi cielo, mi universo. Thank you.”

The flames continue to inflame the singular candlestick in the dusky space.

His head is able to slightly raise. Something he wasn't able to do. There, he gets a glimpse. A glimpse of something peculiar; however, it's still shrouded in the bleak void.

What is the flame wanting to show?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@prozacgooble @ella-janehaven @sanguwuxyoonbummy

#miguel o'hara #miguel x fem!reader #tales the songs weave #miguel x reader #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #atsv miguel #miguel fanfic #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel spiderman #atsv #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n

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