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mishapocalyse · 2 years

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Instill Inside Me-Hurt

Demon!Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Language, bit o’ blood and gore, mentions of self harm, abuse. Demon Dean is a huge dick at this time. But there is a hint of something behind those eyes of his.

Description: There is no remorse from the pain you have felt. It spreads from you to those who you love the most. However, you are not the only one with regrets, nor are you alone.

Reader discretion is advised. Enjoy.

Instills Inside Me-Fear

Instills Inside Me- Lonliness

Instills Inside Me-Comfort

You had seen him, Dean. He had tried to kill you, only to find that the Dean being held captive inside of his head thought otherwise. Which was why he had hugged you tightly against him.

Too tight. You thought he would squeeze the life from your eyes and the breath from your lungs. That was not all on your wandering mind, though. While peering into your mirror you could make out the dark bruises from where Dean's hands had been the night before.

Sam had entered the bunker just in time to tackle and restrain his brother, yet again. You winced when your fingers traced over what Dean had left. Entering your bathroom, where you had been running the hot shower, you slipped into its warm solitude. The water hitting your face, how relaxing it was.

Slipping the towel around your hair, you had stepped cautiously out of your bathroom. Peeking your head from your room, Sam was standing at the end of the hallway, a perplexed look on his face. When he had felt eyes on him, he turned to see you, the corners of his mouth upturning.

"You alright?" Giving him a curt nod, you had walked up to him, wrapping your arms around the younger Winchester.

Sam pulled you up into his arms, resting his head on your shoulder. Tightly clinging to you as you sobbed carelessly into his shoulder. You admitted you were terrified of what had almost happened last night with Dean Winchester, you felt the whole world falling apart in Sam Winchester's arms.

He gently ran his fingers through your hair, rocking slowly with you, trying his best to calm you. Although, he could have just walked with you to the kitchen, where he was heading before you had sadly ambushed him for comfort. He picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist, while he headed downstairs, through the aftermath of the library and into the kitchen. He placed you onto the counter, brushing stray pieces of your hair behind your ears.

"You hungry?" Sam offers to make you a sandwich, which you denied.

"But you never say no when I make food." He whines, making you laugh a bit. Which it made your ribs burn.

"There's the Y/N I know." Looking down when Sam had said that your fists balled, you hopped off the counter.

"You don't know me though." You suddenly found yourself hissing out.

Sam stood in awe, never ever seeing this side of you.

"All you know is the me who so happened to have fucked up one day, broken and a bleeding mess. Dean and you looked at me like I was a stray puppy you could put back together. That you could fix. You took pity on me while Dean despised me every single time, he looked at me." You wiped the angry streaks of tears that kept rolling down your cheeks.

"Dean knew what the fuck I was doing behind the door every night. He could hear me cry, and you could too. You both made it very clear when I come into the same room as either of you. Your brother is tied up in the fucking basement while you're up here tending to my problems. I don't need the pity, I don't. I want you to fix Dean, because the person I saw last night, besides the demon inside of him was not the brother of yours I know. Dean Winchester never fucking apologizes nor gives a fuck about me." You spat, holding your arms to you.

"I've tried everything in the books. Sanctified blood is only killing him, there's no point in exorcisms, he just sits there bored out of his mind, or he's laughing. I'm leaving it up to Castiel to find a solution, other than that we are on our own. I don't see you doing anything, to add to that, when do you do anything other than bitch about what I'm doing." You step back, away from Sam as he takes a step forward.

"What Castiel is doing, Bobby. Hell, maybe the thing inhabiting my brother is right. From what I heard him howling at night, it should have been you instead of Charlie." You had no idea what you were doing next when your hand collides with the side of Sam's face. The echo of the loud slam and the sting that erupted from your hand afterwards.

"Fuck you. Her death had nothing to fucking do with me. She was my friend too. You all fucking blame me for that because of what happened. I was trying to hold it together for this 'oh-so-great' team of ours, but I fucking fell apart, so what. I'm allowed to be human. I'm not a heartless bastard and I'm sure as hell not a fucking Winchester." You pushed through the kitchen door as left Sam, a harsh red handprint on his cheek.

Sam didn't say anything to you about leaving as he was heading out the door with his bag slung over his shoulder. Hearing his car screech out of the drive, you had found yourself pissed off and not thinking straight, your feet dragging you into the direction of the basement stairs where the older Winchester had been put back into place. You knew it was stupid.

However, you did not seem to care much, not anymore. Not after the conversation with Sam Winchester earlier. Now, you were opening the door, and stepping inside to see Dean, trapped in a Devil's Trap, a pair of blessed cuffs on his wrists. There were crosses everywhere, a puddle of holy water at his feet, and rosaries hanging from his chair.

The table had the normal scriptures that they would always read to exorcise demons, there was a plate of untouched food, that was starting to mold. You went to the overturned chair, picking it up and placing it a couple of inches on the outside of the Devil's Trap. Dean's head was low, tucked into his chest.

"You are going to sit there and listen to what I have to say. I don't care what you think. And I don't care about your opinion. I just want you to listen." You spoke, your voice echoing off the walls.

Dean's head snapped up, his eyes pooling black, a Chesire cat sneer visible off-putting.

"See things with Sam turned out great--"

"Shut the fuck up." He raised up, his smile fading when he didn't get the reaction he wanted.

"You are a fucked-up piece of shit. You know that? Bringing up the past like it didn't matter. You made me feel like I was worthless. You patched me up and went back to treating me like I was nothing. All of you...all of you treated me like I was the one who killed Charlie. I was the one who was trying to kill myself. I blamed myself because you all pointed fingers, made comments, made yourselves believe that it was me, because I hated myself. I hated the person I had become when I ran into you. The only one you all are lying about is Bobby. Bobby never made me feel that way, he was a father, a brother, a friend to me and made it known. " You started, shifting in your chair. Dean's eyes had gone back to the pearly green's.

"All I wanted was to be a part of the family. To fight by your guy's side and save people. It was what was keeping me going. Charlie was my friend too. None of you seem to realize that. What's crazier is that when you were trying to kill me last night and all of a sudden you hugged me? Said, "I'm sorry." Whatever fucking demon is inside of you, seems to not know who the fuck you are because I know Dean Winchester. Dean Winchester would never apologize, or hug someone, especially me. Dean Winchester fucking hates my guts. You would know that if you were actually in control." There were those tears again, stinging your eyes, as your voice grew much angrier.

"I-" You had interrupted him.

"There were times where I was close to killing myself, or having a bad day and you know what you would say to me? You would come up to me, that same look on your face every time. "Suck it up, princess. There's no pity party for you." or "Your problems are going to get us killed, either get over yourself or give up." maybe even the one time where after you found me, bleeding all over the fucking bathroom floor, you looked me dead in the eye and said, "You can't even give up." I thought the real monsters were the ones we were hunting. But I can see clearly that the true monsters were right alongside me all along." You hadn't realized you had knocked over the chair and were screaming into Dean's face. Or the fact you were in the trap with him.

You grabbed a fistful of Dean's black tee, shoving him back in the chair, as he laid there on the concrete, looking up at the other trap on the ceiling.

You stood over him. When he managed to look into your eyes and see the fury, the unbridled rage, the disappointment, he overlooked all those feelings behind your eyes.

The only true feeling he saw hurt. You were dying inside; he could sense it. Almost taste it. Nonetheless he laid there, waiting for you to say something, hit him again. Take every ounce of shit and pain that he caused you and throw it back onto him. He deserved it.

You surprised him when you collapsed onto the floor beside him, a fit of sobs escaping your lips, you head dangling into your palms. You were mumbling self-hatred, cursing Crowley and Chuck, whoever else that could be controlling this hellscape you were in.

Dean listened from where he was positioned on the ground, where his cuffed hands only inches away from you.

He took the chance. Not knowing what he was doing himself, creeping his fingers onto a belt loop of your blue jeans, and yanking you back with such a force, that you collided into his chest. He had hooked his cuffed hands over your torso and laid you on top of him while you wrestled to get out of his hold.

"You're wrong. I was quick to pull your trigger and got caught up in all of my ungodly amount of shit. That at the first chance I got, I threw it onto you. I was supposed to be the one who pieced you back together, make you strong so you would keep going. Instead, you were always quick to give up, and I saw that, and I was angry." He poured out to you.

" I was so angry with myself, that I did not want you to end up like I did. Hating yourself every fucking waking minute of the day. I admit I was a fucking menace in your life, but I never knew how much I was fucking hurting you. That is all I know how to do. Push people away, treat them like shit so they won't stick around too long." He paused to make sure you were still with him; to make sure this was all still real.

" With you, you tried. So, I had to try harder, push you to a limit I should have never strayed. When I looked into those eyes of yours, that moment when I found you. You changed. You changed so drastically that I knew for a fucking fact I couldn't keep up with you. I hated myself. I hated looking at you and getting reminded that I used to be in that same position as you. If I could take it all back. I would have. But you know how that goes, Y/N." He spoke with a tone of voice you were not used to hearing Dean use. It was soft, almost like a whisper. You refused to look at him while he talked to you in the awkward way the two of you were in. The shapes traced on the soft, fleshy part of your upper arm, lulling you into a calmer state of mind.

"I am a fucking idiot. Dean Winchester, the man whose seen Death's face a collective of 110 times. Who has been lost just about everyone he loves and is a stone-faced hunter at heart. Never letting one in; never letting anything out." He adds, as your head, craned to look at him.

You stared into his eyes, and for a second he swore he saw a flash of endearment in your eyes. Maybe he was right, seemingly enough as you inched closer to his face, his eyes immediately staring at the pout of your lips.

He strained his neck to meet you halfway, wanting to seal the space between the two of you. Your movement faltered, when you pulled away abruptly.

Slipping out from under his hold, you stood up, picking up the chair and setting it back from under the table. Dean swiveled around, picking himself back up, now upright again.

"Where are you going?" He whines, wriggling in his seat.

You didn't respond, while you went for the doorknob, twisting it open. Looking straight ahead into the hallway, as you walked through the door, the sound of Dean's whimpers made your heartstrings crunch together.

"Don't leave. I don't want to be alone again. Please don't leave me alone."

As you shut the door and moved as far away as you could, heading back to the safety of your room, you could hear the faint clattering, and smashing of items, as well as the guttural screams coming from the basement.

Your heart was heavier than ever, after the older Winchester's confession. One you didn't want but needed to hear anyway. You had sunk into the empty, cold, bed, yearning for an end to whatever you were feeling.

You would hug your pillow tighter than ever--anything to escape the hurt tearing its way through your system.

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Taglist:

@mayafatimakhan

@i-am-trash-with-respect

@super-lupus

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@siospins2

#jensen ackles #spn #supernatural #dean x reader #jensen ackled #spn supernatural #supernatural spn #dean winchester x reader #apparently I forgot tags #mishapoc #x reader #demon dean x reader #demon dean

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rigil-kentauris · 1 year

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thinking about the forbidden FEH man, are we? (´• ω •`)

*sighs* YES, THERES MORE THAN ONE CLOWN ON THE DASH TODAY

its HIS FAULT ^^^^^^^^^^ i wake up every day and look at my zsumzsum its a CONSTANT reminder of the BETTER PAST i once beheld... i cant bring my self to get rid of him because he took me forever to make. i really ought to, but cest la vie.

also i heard that laegjarn the undead is now canonically runnig things in muspell which, i am vulnerable to thinking about my modern AU, and you cant just tell me laegjarns not just back but BACK and that laevateinn has a chance to be a proper child again and NOT make me go hmm... you could make a narrative out of that. the younger generation (laevateinn, ylgr) getting back the siblings theyve lost to war, getting to step back from the resposibility for a nation (not a queen, not the only niflian princess carrying the legacy of her two dead older sisters and mother). the younger generations PERHAPS getting to bond and become friends and share their experiences as the heal from the shared trauma.

in fact its almost like. theres another child, who is a younger sister. with a dead sibling. and responsibility for a nation. and a crippling sense of isolationary lonliness who.

this could also apply to.

ANYWAY THEY HAD SOME AUDACITY. to make a whole book worth of narrative that said. no matter how hopeless it seems, you still have hope. your friends can help you. you may want to die, but death is not the answer. if that god troubles you we'll kill that god. and then. make death the answer and kill the HIM instead. i was hopelessly biased but i still think that was a shit thing to do to your narrative. especially when the meta of that narrative is Let's Collect Friends And Become Stronger

what a waste of a quote, too. i know i just said it but WHAT A MOMENT. ''you cant fight the gods'' ''NOT TRUE i can and will find and kill if that god is bothering you king'' and then you dont even give your MC a win? what a MISS. what a miss.

not a single person in the story for whom i think that story beat worked and i will never understand it.

but at least it freed me from feh. largely anyway. sometimes i see a post like ''what if my love for you changed the narrative'' and i think. sigh. we could have had anything but what we got. anything at all

#anonymous #redacted

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proudfreakmetarusonikku · 2 years

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I say this as someone that thought the finale was a 7/10 at best, like the confrontation was ok imo and made sense with the characters BUT i just rewatched so much lore and let me tell you there are so many times where c!dream encouraged c!tommy to cause chaos and destruction. Im not sure if he did this to get c!tommy in danger or not, but there are times early on when c!ponk c!tommy fight and c!dream encourages c!tommy to chase down c!ponk saying "carry on"

Theres a time where c!jack doesnt crouch back at c!tommy and c!dream syas "ok il kill him" another time where c!purpled scams c!tommy so c!dream wants to go and grief and steal from him and encourages c!tommy to do the same. Im not ruling out the idea that this was ooc and jsust mcuking around as ccs but i think it rlly makes sense in the lore too with c!dreams motivations. And perhaps the reason why he chose the revival book over c!tommy in pogtopia arc was 1-he saw c!tommys friendship offer as ingenuine and was annoyed with him he believed c!tommy would cross him. 2- ends justify the means, he striked later in exile. 3- it would mean c!dream woudl have to help pogtopia which he didnt want too (as now having the book). But the exchanges where he is nice to c!tommy and encourages him to be chaotic, a lot of them happen after this pogtopia war so he tries to build that bond again only to suddenly start burning eveyrthing and balmign c!tommy which then shows that he rlly did want everyone agaisnt c!tommy, enough to get him exiled. (We all know exile was what c!dream planned, the whispers of ":)" were all to provoke) Now, one could suggest that the bonding prior to exile was all some trick maybe out of revenge or for fun, but i think that it did stem from c!dreams lonliness and he rlly did see c!tommy as the key to unifying the server (whilst also seeing him as someone that destroyed it) somehow both these ideas allign in his mind.

I also feel like in prison arc when he said "We can be immortal together" C!dream did that to torment c!tommy but also did that out of geneuine interest, a big part of him wanted to study the revival book with him and be immortal with him. What do u think?

Yeah, c!Dream's feelings on c!Tommy are… erratic. I don’t think he ever hated him (because he needs c!Tommy to exist as the scapegoat in his worldview, and if he hated him that’d mean he'd have to confront it the second he got rid of him) but he views him as basically the cause for EVERYTHING on the server, good or ill. It’s part of him in general just seeing everything he wants to accomplish as one big thing- bringing peace to the server is the same as getting his friends back is the same as control over c!Tommy. This is also why he can insist he’s not thinking about c!Tommy while planning something that only matters bc of c!Tommy with being mad at c!Wilbur.

A lot of the reason c!Dream isolates c!Tommy, I think, is because of that power he’s assigned to him. Which, logically, c!Tommy completely lacks. He's basically a normal kid, and even if you count him as VP (a role he TRIED to step down from) that was more of a ceremonial title than anything. But because c!Tommy IS the server and IS not being alone, that means in c!Dream's head he's the most dangerous person on the server. And that power is something he wanted for himself.

With c!Dream being confirmed out of universe to have been wanting to make c!Tommy an ally, repeatedly threatening to make him immortal For him, and him offering to spare the lives of people who agreed to his plan that is most likely made up (and therefore, he was making that offer Only to c!clingy), I think it’s pretty much confirmed that he wanted c!Tommy involved in the immortality experiments, yeah. I think, in a fucked up way, he genuinely cares for c!Tommy. It’s just his view on friendship is that if you’re not unconditionally devoted to him and have your life 100% revolving around his, you’ve betrayed him. If exile went his way, he'd have made c!Tommy into basically his own definition of the perfect friend.

Personally, I don’t think I can give the finale a score out of ten it’s almost hilariously erratic in quality in my opinion.

#Dream smp #primeboys (derogatory)

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suzyqrara · 2 months

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Habakukka

-Reading the book and reflecting-

Hab is questioning GOD why his answer is violence. I think GOD is saying he will send over the army to his city and kill everyone. Hab is wondering why that is the answer? Hab fears what he will see and what he will experience. He is wondering why he would use bad people to correct his city. He wanted to know why he would give the bad people victory like this?

I am questioning the same way Hab is. Reading the old testimony does make me not look at GOD too well. I’m sorry GOD, for saying this. But it just seems like you are irrational with your consequences. Poor, innocent people have died, been used and never looked at again, and other things that I remember getting angry about as I was reading through the first few chapters of the new testimony. It made me angry to read that and wondering if you were wise. I know that if it hadn’t been for Jesus dying for my sins, you would strike me for having such doubt and questions. I am so sorry. But I don’t understand why you would allow bad people, the Babylon, to have victory. Reinforcing them by allowing them to scare, kill the people of Judah. That solution/answer is not fair. Isn’t there another way of resolving this that does not include such violence and pain. I mean there are good people in Judah and they will also experience the wrath?

-Reading more and watching a paster preach about this-

God responded to Tab that the Babylon army will have their moment of fear and chaos as result of attacking Judah. They will be judged for what they do to Judah and beyond. GOD is not forcing/making Babylons to attack Judah. Babylons already decided they will conquer Judah and GOD is simply allowing them to pursue their decision to hurt others. He is saying that he will not stop the babylon’s man-willed plan to conquer Judah because Judah has gotten morally terrible. He said he will make sure Karma will hit Babylon for planning to kill cities, because everyone will be judged for what they’ve done during their life and be punished accordingly, but he will not lift a "finger" to protect Judah because Judah needs a rude-awakening to chill a bit. This makes more sense. Rather than saying that GOD makes the babylons attack, then punishing them for following what GOD told them to do.

--Reflection and answer to my question--

God wants me to trust him because whatever is happening- wars, lonliness- God is having this happen for a good reason. A reason we will never know, but in the big gram of scenes, it will be a good reason. To trust him even when the world is falling apart and children are dying, I need to learn about his character now and it will help me to trust him when the choas abrupt. The only way I can think of learning about him is continue to read the Bible. One way to consistently do that is when I am feeling lonely or when the devil is in my ear, I need to meet with GOD and talk to him about my concerns. This happens like 7 times a day, so I am thinking I will be bible bond for the rest of life :( But either way, this will ease my heart and I can stop the negative thoughts. Another plus side to this is each time I talk to him aka read the bible, I will also learn about him each session.

Prayer* Thank you for this book and this pasters teaching. When I take the bible to begin reading, I start get frustrated because I don’t know what to read. Being in silence with you, I will eventually figure it out what to read. This happened yesterday when I decided to read the book of Habakkuk. This reading did answer my question, and I thank you for talking to me today.

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richardsondavis · 1 year

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First car: “I can’t take this kind of pressure. I must confess one more dusty road would be just a raod too long.” He’s the car of an old workingman who had a long life of service. The car was worn down from year after year after year of driving a long commute on a dusty road. The engine and air filters gave out one day when the road was way too long and hard. He represents the work exhausted, those who can't handle the pressures of work and life.

Second car: “I just can’t, I just can’t, I just can’t seem to get started. Don’t have the heart to live in the fast lane. All that is passed and gone.” I would assume that this was the car of a female in either college or high school. She wasn't driven much before she conked out while her new owner was driving on the freeway. Given how she mimicked a failed starting engine for her first line, chances are it was a serious problem with the electrical system. This car represents the depressed. Life speeds past these people, because they can't get started.

Third car: “I come from Kasi, Missouri. I got my kicks out on Route 66, every truck stop from Butte to MO. Motown to Old Alabama. From Texarkana and east of Savannah From Tampa to old Kokomo.” His owner was a definite drifter and rode all around the states, especially on every stop you can think of on Route 66. He was driven hard and fast until his axiles busted. He probably rode on a very rough patch of road and was structurally damaged. This car represents the drifters, who drift along without any point, never rooting down. But, he clearly has an appreciation and zest for life. As he is on the conveyor belt, he is seen turning his wheel in a vein attempt to get off of the belt. He can’t turn, because he is old and beat up.

Fourth Car: “I once ran the Indy 500. I must confess I'm impressed how I did and I wonder how close that I came. Now I get a sinking sensation. I was the top of the line, out of sight; out of mind so much for fortune and fame.” This oldie was a top of the line race car and genuine contender for the Indianapolis 500 during his last run. He likely lost control when his wheels failed (note his missing wheels on one side). He skid out of control. I'd say he managed to avoid crashing and killing the driver. The car was deemed a failure by whoever built him and he was mothballed. This car represents the has-beens who were once famous or important, but have been tossed aside.

Fifth and Sixth related. The fifth car says “Once took a Texan to a wedding, once took a Texan to a wedding. He kept forgetting, his loneliness letting his thoughts turn to home and we turned.” The sixth car said “I took a man to a graveyard. I beg your pardon, it's quite hard enough just living with the stuff I have learned.” After the fifth car is placed on the conveyor belt, the sixth car is placed on top of the fifth car and the two are crushed together. That was probably to represent the fact that the two drove the same man. The Texan probably died while driving the fifth car and the sixth car was likely a funeral hearse which drove the Texan’s dead body to the funeral.

Fifth Car: This limo was taking a Texan man to his best friends wedding wedding. The mention of lonliness gives me the impression that the Texan likely was not the groom. This guy was forgetting something due to feeling lonely. I get the vibe that he was showing up for a friend's wedding, and just couldn't take the feeling that he was still single and alone while his friend was happy with a new wife. He forgot about his obligation out of pain, and demanded to be turned around. This car represents the uncommitted, who are unable to commit to their relationships or love. Based on how dented the limo was, I would assume that the Texan died while riding in the limo. Which leads to...

Sixth Car: The last line of the fifth car felt unfinished. Regardless, the Hearse was there to take the Texan to his funeral, but got into his own accident on the way. It's hard to see but you can see serious dents and a busted headlight in his front. I think he might have gotten stuck in another accident on the way to the funeral, and he saw that the coffin he was carrying was filled with a dead man when it accidentally burst open. He learned that death touched humans too, and he couldn't live with this knowledge.

Seventh car: “Once drove a surfer to Sunset, there were bikinis and buns, there were weenies. Fellini just couldn't forget. Pico, let's go up to Zuma, Pico, let's go up to Zuma. From Zuma to Yuma the rumor was I had a hand in the lay of the land. Get up and go hit the highway.” This one was owned by a college male. This guy was very likely laid back dude who liked surfin and goofing around with his friend Pico. The car had dings and dents from a few fender benders, but her master treated her well and took her everywhere. He was likely a campus legend, but she remembers him as the master who shredded waves from Zuma Beach to kayaking on the Colorado at Yuma. Based on the clearly bitten surf board, I am guessing that the master was eaten by a shark. His mourning family scrapped the car with the surf board. This car represents the traumatized, people who suffer from mental illness or trauma and are unable to cope.

Eight car: “I worked on a reservation. Who would believe they would love me and leave On a bus back to old Santa Fe? Once in an Indian Nation. I took the kids on the skids where the Hopi was happy 'til I heard 'em say... The rest of the things in the junk yard say: "You're worthless."

This car worked on what was likely the Hopi and Tewa reservation as an impromptu bus for the community. He was likely used frequently by one family in particular, who used him to take their kids out of the place and for long haul goods carting. He grew to love that family, in particular the kids. He was a tough and reliable old truck with at least some more time in him left, but his heart broke when that family chose to ditch him and leave the reservation. He took them out to the skids, thinking he was just taking the kids out there to play like usual. They then got on a long bus to Santa Fe, and called the reservation and himself by extension worthless. He couldn't take this rejection and essentially refused to work out of depression. There was this one detail that is very easy to miss if you do not pay attention. I probably would not have noticed it if people on the internet had not pointed it out. As the magnet waves over this car, the truck drives off screan and is seen parked on the conveyor belt in the next scene. He was about to die, but chose to go out on his own terms, because the last thing that he would want to do is give the crane the satisfaction of knowing that he (the crane) is what sent him (the car) to his death. His musical number that he sings to achive a catharsis before his death is just as sad as that of the rest of the cars, but for a different reason. For the rest of the cars, they were sad, because they weren’t ready to die and they all tried in vein to resist it. This one was actually capable of resisting it, but he didn’t. His story was depressing in a “I am so sick of life” kind of way. This car represents the elderly, who were loved by their families, but age has made them worthless.

All of these cars represent a collective experience of the way depression affects the mind. Each one has a story and even achievements. Each one has a life: but despite any of it, they are 'worthless'. The crusher is a symbol for death and suicide. The conveyor belt a symbol of struggle. All vehicles (aside form the last) attempt to resist it. This means that each car represents different levels of depression, from mild to severe. And each is handicapt so that it cannot escape the crusher. This is what depression actually does to a healthy mind. The knowledge of being loved and having some sense of worth disappears, you become drained of energy, and you become blinded to the truth of your own value. You stop bathing, sometimes even 'getting started' on anything. Left untreated, and especially if the sufferer finds confirmation, the feeling of being worthless ends in suicide.

#for later

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dialovers-translations · 2 years

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Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Carla [VAMPIRE ENDING]

[Vampire] [Manservant] [Brute]

ー The scene starts with a black screen

Yui: ( I can’t take it anymore...! )

Shin: Che...Nii-san...

Carla: ...

Shin: Don’t tell me...This is the time...When you decide to hold back? ...Come on. Grab hold of your sword again.

Yui: Eh...!?

ー Yui opens her eyes again

Carla: ...Is that what it looks like to you?

Shin: Yeah, it does. I mean, ever since I was just a kid...

I’ve been keeping a close eye on you...

Come on...Here I come!!

*CLING*

Carla: Ugh...!

Shin: I can see through everything! Like whether or not you’re giving it your all!

I guess I’m being underestimated. Am I really that unworthy of an opponent?

*CLING*

Shin: You’re even ill on top of everything, yet you’re still looking down on me!?

I can’t forgive you...!!

*CLING*

Shin: Not ever!!

*CLING*

Yui: ( Oh no...At this rate, both of them will...! )

Just stop already!!

Carla: ...!!

Yui: It’s been enough, you two!!

Shin: What do you mean!? Enough, my ass!!

Yui: But at this rate, you’ll boーー

ー Somebody runs up to them

Yui: ( Eh...!? )

Richter: Hihihi...Too bad...right!?

Shin: ...!? You...!?

Carla: You are...!?

Richter: I am...not dead yet! I can’t die...!

You truly thought a single stab through the heart would let you get rid of me...!?

*Woosh*

Yui: ( Oh no...!! )

Richter: It’s only checkmate once you’ve chopped off the head...!!

Like this, see!?

ー He charges at Carla

Yui: Stoooooop...!!!

ー Yui jumps in the way

*STAB*

Yui: Uuu...!!

*Thud*

Yui: ( I-I was stabbed...in the chest... )

Carla: ...You bastard!!!

*STAB*

Richter: Guh...!!

Shin: ...W-Why would she shield Nii-san...?

*Cling*

Carla: ーー Ugh...! Oi, hang in there!! Oi!!

*Rustle*

Yui: Uu...

Carla: Good grief...How reckless of you. When you’re just a weak human...

Yui: I’m sorry. But...Now the two of you...

no longer have to fight to the deathーー

Carla: ...!?

Yui: Haah...I’m doomed to spend my whole life...always having someone trying to use me...unable to escape said fateーー

However, I didn’t want to acknowledge that...But now...I was able to use my life doing what I truly wanted myself...

Carla: Don’t be ridiculous...!

Yui: It’s fine...

Carla: Damnit...Don’t die...Oi, stay with me...!

Yui: Ugh...

Carla: Don’t die! This is an order!

Yui: An order...?

Carla: You are necessary. To me.

Yui: ...

Carla: Yes, exactly! You are vital! I need you...!

This is not weakness. Exactly, I love youーー

Yui: Love...?

Carla: Yes! Exactly. As much as I hate to admit it...

Yui: Aah...Carla-san...I alsoーー

ー Yui loses consciousness

Carla: Oi!!

Yui: ( Aah, that same prideful guy now needs me in his life... )

( And claims to love me. He might only be saying those things to please me but... )

( Still, I feel blessed...I’m so happy... )

*Rustle rustle*

Carla: Yui!!

Oi, you...! Open your eyes! Wake upーー!!

Shin: ...Jeezus.

Carla: ...What’s your problem, Shin?

Shin: ...I’m disappointed.

Carla: Run your mouth all you want.

Shin: But at the same time, I’m also relieved. Up until now, you had always been the ideal I could never reach.

While I felt proud and boastful of you...simultaneously, you were the person I loathed and envied the most.

Nii-san, I believe I can finally...face you as an equal.

Carla: What do you mean?

Shin: In the end, I think I was simply reflecting all of the ideals inside my head on you. That’s whyーー

When you had to bow your head for my sake back then, I couldn’t forgive you.

I couldn’t let my ideal Nii-san submit to some inferior species.

Carla: ...

Shin: But, you’ve ruined that image I had of my perfect older brother even further.

*Cling*

Carla: Shin...!

Shin: I don’t need to...kill you if you aren’t perfect.

Yui: ...

Carla: ...

Shin: Nii-san, what are you gonna do? She’s going to die...

Carla: ...As if I’d let that happen...

If this woman dies...it will mean the end of us Founders. Howeverーー It goes even beyond that.

Without her around, I can no...no longer smile.

Shin: ...Nii-san...

Carla: I had forgotten this whole time. No, I pretended I had forgotten about these feelings...

I was reminded thanks to her.

ーー Because of her, I remembered just how agonizingly painful the feeling of lonliness is...

I...love her.

Shin: Haah, you’ve become a total softie.

Carla: Shin, I cannot continue being the ideal man you thought me to be.

Shin: Yeah. That’s why I’ve been voicing my disappointment. ーー But.

I feel like...I don’t dislike this side of you either.

Carla: Heh, I see. ーー Then, follow me.

Your older brother has little time left but...Before I go...I will revive this woman.

Shin: How?

Carla: I will go bow my head...to the owner of the Castle up ahead.

( I am no longer scared. Of admitting inferiority... )

( What truly terrifies me... )

( Would be losing this woman, that’s all. )

Yui: ...

Carla: Yui.

I will save you right now. And then...

I will ensure...that you no longer have to live your life being manipulated by others.

*TIMESKIP*

Monlogue

ーー By the time I regained consciousness,

I had been put to sleep,

in one of the beds at the Founders’ castle.

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s room in Banmaden

Carla: How do you feel?

Yui: It still stings a little. However...I feel a lot better already.

Carla: I see.

Yui: ( Carla-san hasn’t changed one bit. ...I wonder if what happened back then was just a dream? )

...Excuse me?

Carla: Yes?

Yui: How did I get here?

Carla: ...

Yui: Carla-san?

Carla: You truly never fail to disappoint me.

Yui: I-I’m sorry.

Carla: ーー Back then, you were on the brink of death. Which is when I...

No, to be more specific, Karlheinz is the one who saved your life.

Yui: K-Karlheinz-san did!?

Carla: ...I bowed down and begged for him to save you.

Yui: Eh...?

Carla: Surprised?

Yui: W-Well...Yeah...

Carla: ...

Yui: I’m sorry. But...I just can’t imagine you’d lower your head...for someone like me...

Carla: You say the exact same thing Shin did.

Yui: Shin-kun...?

Carla: Yes. However, he told me that...as pathetic as I may have become, he does not despise me as a brother.

How do you...feel about me?

Yui: Ah, o-of course...! You know...

ーー I like you.

Carla: I see.

Yui: If anything, that feeling has only become much strongerーー

Carla: Back then...

Yui: Eh?

Carla: Before you left Banmaden. You told me that I can be a little more selfish.

Yui: Ah, yes.

Carla: Back then I failed to grasp the meaning behind those words. ...No, that would be a lie. I refused to understand.

Because prioritizing my own desires would go directly against everything I had ever been taught as a King.

Yui: ...

Carla: I was at a loss. Wondering whether such a thing would be allowed.

Yui: I can’t blame you, you felt like you needed to uphold your status as a King after all.

Carla: Yes. Hence, I should not create a weakness for myself by harboring personal feelings for youーー

That is how I thought. Which is why...I was going to put an end to my life myself, as a King...

But then you jumped to the scene...

In the end, by sacrificing your own life like that, those feelings I had been suppressing this whole time came gushing out...

Yui: Carla-san.

Carla: ーー Come here.

*Rustle*

Yui: C-Carla-san...?

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“Heh...I supppose I do not need to ask you why, as the answer is quite obvious already.”

“If your blood will heal the symptoms of Endzeit...Then I suppose I should say that I am being kept alive by the person I love?”

Carla: I no longer need to hold anything back. What should I call these feelings?

Yui: ーー Love...?

Carla: Exactly. I...like you. I love you.

Yui: Yes...

S-Speaking of which...Carla-san, um...

Carla: About my illness? Through some strange course of events...

Ever since I have begun to drink your blood, progression has been halted.

Yui: Eh!?

Carla: According to what Karlheinz told me, it must have something to do with your blood...

Yui: My blood?

Carla: Yes.

Yui: T-Then...You won’t...disappear anymore...?

Carla: While we do not know how effective your blood will be in the long-run, for now at least.

Yui: I’m so glad!!

*Thud*

Yui: ( I truly am relieved...! )

Carla: ...Are you happy?

Yui: Yes.

Carla: ...Tell me why.

Yui: Eh!? W-Well...I mean, you know...

Carla: ‘I know’...?

Yui: Because I like you a lot...I love you.

Carla: I see. In that case...

*Rustle*

Carla: I will never let you go again.

Yui: ...!!

Carla: Are you fine with this? I might just be sweet-talking you to use your body for my own personal gains, you know?

I might just be trying to abuse you like I always have...?

Yui: Fufu. You aren’t.

Carla: You seem to trust me quite a bit.

Yui: You said you love me earlier. Also...I feel the same wayーー

Carla: All it took was one phrase? You are rather easy.

Yui: But I think that is the ultimate proof...Besides...

Remember that you are the one who claimed to love this ‘cheap’ woman?

Carla: Heh...Fufufu...

Yui: ...!

Carla: Good grief, I am simply...no match for you.

*Smooch*

Yui: Nn...

Carla: I truly...never get tired of watching you..

Yui: ( I feel the same way, Carla-san... )

ー Somebody walks up to them

Shin: Ahー ...Ahem, ahem!!

Carla: Shin?

Yui: S-Shin-kun...?

Shin: You can be lovey-dovey all you want but Nii-san, don’t forget that there’s still heaps of work left to do!

Carla: ...You can handle that, can you not?

Shin: Wait! One second!! You better not start playing the role of negligent King the second you decide to turn a new page in life!

Carla: ...

Shin: Don’t pout at me! Hey, you should tell him as well!

Yui: Eh? I-I...

Shin: For starters, let’s say it’s a good thing we managed to come to a compromise with the Vampires...

But we have to think about preserving the peace between the other races as well and plan towards the future. Also, how we will arrange a heir for us Founders.

Carla: No need to worry about that. I have this woman.

Yui: Eh?

Carla: Become my wife.

Yui: ...!!

Carla: I do not need to hear your answer. I already know it after all.

Shin: ...Haah, good grief. I’ve heard enough! (1)

ー Shin leaves the room

Yui: W-Wait, Shin-kun. You’re leaving!?

Carla: Just leave him be. More importantly, you should keep your eyes only on me...

Yui: ...!

Carla: I shall make it so...I am the only thing on your mind...

Yui: ( Carla-san...! I feel as if he’s being more cheeky than ever before... )

( But...I think that side of him is lovely as well. )

( It was a long road, but we’re finally on the same page... )

( At first, I thought all of this was part of some kind of dark fate I had been cursed with... )

( But just by connecting our hearts, I was able to break through that fate. )

( No, I’m sure there never was any fate to speak of. )

( Carla-san, you are the one who helped me realize that. So allow me to say... )

( ーー Thank you. )

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Shin says ごちそうさまでした or ‘gochisousama deshita’ which is usually said at the end of the meal when one is full. I assume that in this case, it means that he’s done with seeing the two of them be all lovey-dovey with each other. xD

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #carla tsukinami #dark fate #diabolik lovers translation #dfcarlaending1

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raidenssblog · 2 years

Text

Love is red but so is blood

Part1, part2, part3 ← you're here, part4

Paring: Zenitsu X d!m!reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: depression, small mention of needles, attempted suicide, self harm (not eating) isolation from real world and feelings, grief, self indagerment (if that's a real word), fainting, hallucinations, violence, yelling and cursing.

Summary: Zenitsu finally came to the realisation that you were never coming back. He's tried everything. He's lashed out at the people he needed. So he will be with you. Or so he thought.

_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_

It's been 4 days. Zenitsu only had the energy to shower. He doesn't even eat or go on missions anymore.

No he didn't feel hungry, he just felt empty, sad and lonly. Even if Tanjiro and Inosuke visit him. Knocks come from the front door every morning and night.

The first time that happened Zenitsu ran down and swag the door open. Hoping it was you in the other side.

But no, it was Tanjiro and a bored looking Inosuke. His heart droped now knowing it won't be you.

Whenever Tanjiro comes around he doesn't even go to the door to answer him.

Today was no different. 10am. Zenitsu could her tanjiro walking towards the door. But there was no knock, but he heard the door open slowly.

Zenitsu got up and walked down the steps to be met with tanjiro. He sounded....upset.

"Zenitsu. Please listen. I'm so sorry about that night. I'm sorry I didn't do anything. I'm sorry sanemi took him away from you. I know the pain you going through and I want-" "no"

Tanjiro was cut off by Zenitsu. He voice sounded raw and sore. Most like from crying, screaming and lack of food.

"I'm sorry?" Tanjiro asked confused as to why the only thing his friend said was no.

"no. No you don't. You have NO idea about the pain I went though that night. Sure you found your family dead but I watch him get KILLED. That is different. At lease the last time you saw your family alive they were happy, right? He was scared, helpless and he knew he was going to die. The look in his eyes, it was horrible. I can NEVER GET THAT IMAGE OUT IF MY FUCKING HEAD."

He pause and took a long deep breath befor staring into tanjiro's eyes. "And it was your fault for not talking up. It was Inosukes fault for not letting me go. And it was Sanemi's fault for taking him away from me. The only person who I loved and loved me back just as much." Tears were now pouring out.

"you have no right to say that to me Zenitsu. My family were kill brutally while he was killed in one swing. Sure you watched him die but that doesn't mean he was in pain." Tears gained in Tanjiro's eyes at the memory of his family.

"BUT HE WAS. I COULD SEE AND HEAR IT! WHILE YOU MADE SURE NOT TO LET ME GO YOU ALL MISSED THE TEARS IN HIS EYES!"

Tanjiro was taken aback. This was the first time Zenitsu had yelled at him aiming for it to hurt.

"HE KNEW HOW MUCH THIS WOULD HURT ME! HE KNEW! BUT YOU DIDNT SO DONT YOU DARE SAY HE WENT PEACEFULLY!"

At this point Zenitsu was screaming at the boy Infront of him. No caring if it ever so slowly made tanjiro guilty. He should be. He should have said or done something. Anything.

"I AM SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME ZENITSU! I KNOW I HURT YOU, WE ALL DID BUT PLEASE FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! I beg of you." He whispered the last part not wanting to fight anymore.

"I don't care if you're here to say sorry. I don't give a fuck if you want to apologize. You just, you just don't want to feel guilty. Because you know you were of the reason as too why Im like this now" Zenitsu was calm compared to how he was before.

All that tanjiro could see was the tears running down his face and dripping off. He could smell the thick hatred and sadness Zenitsu let off.

Tears of Tanjiro's were now not about his family, but because he made his friend like this. If he could even call Zenitsu a friend anymore.

"I'm really am sorry" he said before he walked out the door. He could hear Zenitsu start to cry again but didn't go back. He couldn't, as much as he wanted to he could never.

Zenitsu droped to the floor. The feeling of hunger started to kick in but he didn't care. He knew his time would somehow come soon.

So he reread the letter which felt like the hundredth time. The handwriting was yours. That was for certain. But the words wait for me stuck in his mind for the rest of that night.

'Wait for me, what does that even mean' he thought while covering his head with the thick blanket. It had a very faint smell of you. It comforted him a little.

He knew he couldn't wait. It was getting to painful, to much. He felt to gone already. So he waited untill night fall.

He went out side for the first time in short of a week. The breeze was calm. Unlike his mind. Zenitsu blotted for the butterfly mansion.

He snuck into the mansion listening out for anybody as he enter a room. Specifically the medical room. He grabbed around 3 different pills and ran back to your cabin. He grabbed a glass of water and letter before he started to sob.

He cried harder as he walked through the thick bush. Towards one clearing. The place you two met. He sat down and opened the bottles.

Pouring them into his hand he sighed he put half of the pills in his mouth not caring what they'd do and drank water to wash them down.

They were hard to swallow due to how many they were. He than took the other half and did the same. Zenitsu chucked the last bit of water before chucking the glass someplace, he didn't care where. He was going to be with you. Than NOBODY can take you away. Never.

He picked up your letter and yet again reread it. Though he wasn't sad. He was happy. Relifed some would say.

His eye sight started to get blurry and his chest got tight. That's when he heard it. His name getting called. "Monichi?"

It was Inosuke. Well that doesn't matter anyway. He was going to be dead soon. Hopefully quicker than how it was going now.

He blacked out before he knew it. He heard footsteps running towards him. "Monichi! Wake up!" The voice that slowly grew on him now made him want to die faster.

Zenitsu felt hands picking him up and quickly, not very gently, running away from that spot.

'no no no. I was ment to die where we met. Go back. Please' Zenitsu thought but couldn't say. His heartbeat was slowly fading away and purely he felt like his body was numb.

Multiple voices called out but they were all muffled and he couldn't understand what they were saying. Than everyone just...stoped.

'am I...dead. no wheres m/n?' he didn't understand what happened. He took all the pills. Forced himself not to throw up. Reread the letter but, he's not dead.....

Four days passed. Tanjiro hasn't slept in three days. Shinobu gave him a anaesthetic that knocked him out for a few hours.

But he woke up and headed straight for Zenitsu recovery room.

Inosuke brought him in, he was blabbering about bottles and a letter. Saying how he watched him down a bunch of little things and read a letter while crying... happily.

Aoi ran in and said someone had taken some pills from the medical room. Tanjiros heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. He looked over to shinobu in a panick.

She knew what had happened as well. She wasn't smiling, instead she was breathing quickly and she let off a scent of worry.

She put him in a spare bed and by now most of the hashira have gather by the door. Mainly because of the girls screaming and Inosuke shouting random things.

Shinobu quickly made a thick purpley red liquid and put it in a needle before sticking it into his vein.

Zenitsu started to breath normally again and his pulse came back. Shinobu let out a shallow sigh. "He'll be fine, just make sure to keep and eye on his heart beat and if he does wake up. Please tell me or Aoi."

Tanjiro nodded and quickly wiped his tears away before setting himself down in the bed next to him.

He was now sitting in Zenitsu's bed looking at the sleeping boy. Tanjiros breathing started to quicken and his throat got tight. Tears skilled as he began to sob and talk.

"Im-im so sorry. I did this too you. I-I-I didn't mean to. I thought he was d-angerous. Like most of the other demons, I thought he was fakin-g his feelings just to kill you next. I'm s-sorry you had to think this was the only way you could see him ag-again"

He wiped his tears but they kept coming. The guilt was finally setting upon the red headed boy. He was the reason behind this. It would have been his fault that his friend killed themselves.

His fault

But he didn't kill you. Sanemi did. It was his fault for all of this. If he didn't kill none of this would have happened. None of it.

Zenitsu and you would still be happy. He would still go on missions, eat and go outside. He would still have meals with the group and put effort into his life. These thought wouldn't even dear to cross his mind.

"w-where *cough* am I?" Tanjiro snapped out of his daze and looked at the boy in shock. "Z-zenitsu! You're awake! Let me go get shinobu!" And with that he quickly ran to get the girl leaving the yellowed haired boy in a haze.

'why didn't it work? It should have worked. I was ment to see m/n. Please." He thought. Tears welled in his eyes. The clenching ache in his heart grew worse by the second.

He was chocking on his own breaths. He heard the door open but when he looked he only saw....you.

Zenitsu stoped crying for a second and just stared at you. He cried harder and louder. "M/N! YOU'RE BAC-K! I-I KNEW IT!"

But when you didn't respond he only lower his voice. "M/n please come over here?" You didn't answer, you only stared at him.

"m/n?" Zenitsu said quietly. This wasn't you. He knew it. For the time when you didn't hug him straight away.

Suddenly you head was cut off. A horrendous scene as you body crumbed to the floor. Zenitsu let out a loud scream. Tears poured harder than they did before.

The memory of your death now refreshed in his mind. Tanjiro and shinobu ran into the room. "Zenitsu please calm down. I need to give you you medicine to even out-"

She was cut off with Zenitsu running out of the room. He instantly regretted it as his vision went blurry and his head felt heavy.

He just wanted to get out of there. Away from them and away from everything.

#agnst #demon slayer #kny x you #kny zenitsu #reader insert #pt3 #zenitsu x male reader #demon reader #may be triggering

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heisenberg-simp257 · 2 years

Note

Hello! I hope your morning/day/evening/night is going well. Could i request #12 and #54 from the prompt list with Lord Heisenberg? (Sometimes all of us feel lonely and sad, yes?) Thank you!

Of course!💖 and yes, yes we do💖 Hope I do well with this, I was running out of ideas😂

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Loneliness

You weren't gone that long, but Heisenberg can't help how lonely he felt without you.

#12 “You aren’t alone. I’m always here with you.”

#54 “I’ve missed you so much.”

Surprise. Surprise. You guys got into a fight. It was one of those fights that started as stupid. Maybe you misplaced something, and he got angry. Something along those lines. Either way, it led to things getting personal.

“Fine! You wanna be alone, then enjoy being alone!” Was the last thing you shouted at him before storming out of the factory, and going to crash at Donna’s.

She was the one Lord that you felt like you could talk to in confidence. Plus, she didn’t mind you staying with her if things ever go sour between you and the metal Lord. So, that’s what you did for a couple days.

After cooling off, you felt the pull to go back and see Heisenberg. It was then that you realized the horrible things you said, and the horrible thing you did. Donna wished you luck, hoping you wouldn’t get killed. With that in mind, you were on guard when you entered the metal man’s domain.

“Karl...?” You called out when you walked onto the main floor. Out of the wind and snow, the silence was deafening. You were beginning to wonder if he was deeper in until you heard the sound of doors slamming open.

And then you saw him.

“I...” You started to say, but he looked at you with such intensity that you felt like you were choking.

“I...I’m sorry...” You choked out from either fear or guilt as he began to stalk towards you, his face unreadable. You couldn’t help but feel a bit afraid the closer you got.

But then he wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He whispered into your ear, holding you so tight as if you would disappear if he dare let you go. You didn’t hesitate in hugging him back just as tightly.

However, much to your surprise, you thought you heard him crying slightly.

“I’m so sorry...please don’t leave me alone again.” Heisenberg managed to say, still hugging you so you didn’t have to see him in such a vulnerable state.

It should’ve been no secret to you that his biggest fear was being alone again. After you came into his life, Heisenberg was terrified of being alone. Knowing how it feels to have someone by his side, he didn’t want to lose that feeling.

No wonder he appeared so broken.

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry...I never should’ve left.” You told him while rubbing his back. You felt like a mother comforting her child, but he was really hurt by this and you wanted to make things right.

After a while, he finally composed himself and released the hug.

“But I deserved it...I was acting like an ass.” Heisenberg said while looking at his feet, but you shook your head.

“Maybe...but I never should’ve just left. I know you hate being alone.” You said that last part more quietly when you saw him nod his head in agreement. This time you walked up and wrapped him in a hug.

“You aren’t alone. I’m always here with you.” You whispered while holding him tightly. Heisenberg couldn’t help but smile a bit at that as he hugged you back, taking in your scent that he missed so much.

He was happy to hear that. It made some of his stress and worry disappear because he knew that you meant it. However, he was going to control his temper from now on, so you didn’t run off again.

“Where did you go anyway?” He asked after you pulled away from the hug.

“Oh, I went to Donna’s and complained about you.” You said with a slight grin, causing him to chuckle a bit in disbelief.

“I guess I did deserve that one.”

#resident evil #resident evil imagines #resident evil village #resident evil village imagines #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg imagine

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chifuyusgangshirt · 2 years

Note

You know, in the french version of Tokyo Revengers, Izana says about Mikey that he will train him ("dresser" in french. It's generally used about training animals). It's like if he was seeing Mikey like a pet that he could shape like he wants. And that's what he did in Manila Timeline, taking advantage of Mikey's state after Emma's death. Mikey has a Shinichiro's look, he's broken, pushed to the point to kill his loved ones and can't really go against Izana (except when it's about Takemichi)

that's such an interesting detail?

Also a very good interpretation from the translator because, yes, Izana doesn't see Mikey as a human being.

Don't get me wrong, he knows that Mikey is only human and not some god in disguise, which is why he decided to go for Emma instead of Mikey himself - but seeing him as a equal being like he is, no.

This are just some thoughts I had on them together, no real theory or canon facts - simply my view on Izana's and mikey's mental state.

So first of all, we all know that Izana is pretty delusional. More than Kisaki might I say even.

So basically he doesn't seem to value a human life. Not his own, not the ones from his friends, not his siblings. The only expectations were kakucho and shin because they had a bond with him before he got off the rails so as long as his attachment is strong enough he probably thinks that they are better than other people, how much he really loved them or just needed to fill the lonliness is left open. I think he did love them. He even loved mikey but Izana doesn't have a healthy view on love, feelings and social relationships in general which is why he seems so distant. I don't think he can feel empathy. Or more like, he doesn't understand empathy, which is common for people who grew up without love/care or parents, because you can't really learn to understand feelings when you didn't experience them. This is basically why so many people growing up in a distant or non existent household often struggle with developing a sense for family/deep bonds, love and handling affection. Best example when he said that the S62 generation only followed him because they were afraid of him, which got proven to be wrong after his death. They all genuinely liked him.

anyhow.

Mikey, though not in the same kind, also grew up in a parentless household, no one who told him right from wrong or how to see another person and respect them.

But he had people who introduced him to feelings, love, people to trust which is like, the biggest difference between them.

While Izana never got in touch with love and care Mikey never got in touch with the moral codes of our society (yeah sorry grandpa sano you did a shit job) - I honestly think one of the issues with his dark impulses and how he says he doesn't know what black and white is when he's "in the zone' is that he didn't learn it in the first place. Of course his dark impulses are different but even without them he seems pretty aloof and desinterested in other peoples lines of comfort.

So he was the perfect target for Izana. It's pretty interesting that he wanted Mikey as the new shinichiro - honestly I thought the manga would go the route to takemichi being his target. It made way more sense to me because besides his looks Mikey has nothing in common with Shinichiro.

So I actually don't think it was important who it was, as long as they had a connection to shinichiro and could be a good replacement

#sorry for the rant #will add pictures later!#i just love talking about mikey and izana tbh #izana is sp underrated?!#tokyo revengers #tokyorev #mikey manjiro sano #izana kurokawa #shinichiro sano

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iceprincessviviane · 3 years

Text

Cruel truth

Pairing: c!Dream x Lightbringer!Healer!Female!Reader.

Type: Angst mixed with fluff. (It can change later.)

Parts: Chapter one. (Next chapter.)

Warnings: swearing, blood, injury, gore, prison, imprisonment, yelling, threats, death, revival, sugestive content, manipulation, panic, dark themes, other characters are there, silly jokes created by me.

Summary: Does everyone deserve a second chance? A opportunity to get a redemption? How hard is to stand on your beliefs and fulfill the obligation? Pandora's Vault was supposed to keep everyone safe from Dream, but it fails miserably in each way.

Author's note: This stuck for so long in my head, I finally decide to write it down and publish. I don't know yet, if it will be trilogy or more than 3 chapters. I hope you will like it anyway 💝. English isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes.

Words in read are Technoblade's voices.

My first c!Dream x reader fic.

It was cold outside, but it was the reason of living in tundra alone and away from of the rest. The closest was Technoblade's cottage for sure. Y/N has chosen to live here, because of her studies and peace, which living far away offered. She had recieved this land long time ago, when Eret was the king of the SMP and he even handed her official document, written down by him and Dream. What made her decided to live that far? Probably the events which had place on SMP, she arrived after Wilbur blown up L'Manburg, but with joy and happiness accepted Tubbo's offer to become citizen in New L'Manburg.

She liked it, she really did, but also it was hard. Tension and danger were wandering around commonly, however it wasn't too bad, to make friendships. Y/N made was with in good contact with Phil and Ranboo, even Tubbo, despite he was president and had to exile Tommy. From one side, she could understand him, it was for the good of the nation and Dream was powerful, but in second side, how could friend do that? Really there was no other way?

She could see the pain and lonliness in young, exiled boy's eyes. Of course she got to meet masked man, they actually met at very begining and it went well and smooth. He was nice and asked some polite questions, as every owner of land would do. He was interested in her powers of course, like everyone in first impression. All of this wasn't that bad, she was willing to help with everyone's injury and wounds, that was what she was training for after all.

}*{

Well things got hotter when Butcher Army invaded Phil's house, searching anything, that could help him to find Technoblade. Unfortunately Y/N was there, because she was taking care of Phil's wings and checked if it can be healed in any way. Idea of 'visiting' Technoblade was bad since very begin, she have known, that it will end bad for them. When Butcher Army left, gaining comapss, which lead way to tundra,Y/N helped Phil fix the house and cleaned the mess, they have created. Of course she knew Technoblade, actually they have met outside L'Manberg a couple of times. Phil excused himself and left in disguise, despite having home arrest, she wasn't curious at all, but when he arrvied back, was panting and immediately threw away his disguise.

Outside were some yelling and loud voices, so they went into balcony, view was unusual, because Technoblade was tied with chain and lead by Quackity and Tubbo. So Butcher Army succeed somehow. Piglin hybrid was lead to podium, where was speaker and cage, above it was anvil... it was execution. Then things happend quickly, Tubbo has spoken what Techno did, Punz interrupted whole scene, fight has started and Big Q pulled the lever. Anvil has fallen, but Technoblade survived, he never dies actually. Glowing light covered him and he got off the cage. In lasting chaos, he could escape, but Quackity got on his track. Unfortunately he underestimated piglin hybrid power and got killed, someone even said by pickaxe.

When everything cooled down, place has become empty and everyone went to their homes. Phil was still worried of his friend, even if he survived the anvil.

"I don't know if he is seriously wounded and I can't even check this, because of this stupid home arrest!" He yelled in irritation and kicked the nearest chest.

"I am sure, that he is all right, you were in worse troubles in the past, you have told me..." Y/N said to calm his nerves.

"Yes, I know, but if they hadn't found compass, it wouldn't happend at all... I blame myself..."

She put hand on his arm and smiled with compassion. Technoblade and Philza friendship was amazing and winged man had hard time dealing with his thoughts.

"But maybe... maybe you can check on him? None will suspect, if you leave L'Manburg..." He said looking at her with pleading eyes.

"I could, but... I don't know where is excatly cottage... and I am citizen here..."

"I believe you can be sneaky... please Y/N, I would not forgive myself, if he ends up injured badly..." Phil spoke with sad tone.

She sighed helplessly and nodded with agreement. Winged man instructed her how to get into tundra and Technoblade's home. Y/N gathered in backpack, everything that could be useful, including potions. Well, none was outside and after such intense events, it seemed, that everyone was resting. Sneaking out was easy, even through the gate. Then, things started to be complicated, she needed to cross lands, which belonged to someone else. She was peacefuly passing by, quiet as grave, but suddenly someone showed in her eyesight. Shining from enchantments, netherite armor and weapons sticking out of back and belt, shield in a hand, but mostly smiling mask, that was covering whole face.

"Y/N... what are you doing here that late?" He asked looking at her direction.

"You probably know what happend... I am heading to tundra. Phil asked me, if I can check on Technoblade." She answered honestly.

"And why should I let you pass?" He crossed his arms.

"And why you shouldn't?" Y/N responded.

Silence fell upon them, Dream moved closer and pulled out his axe, she looked at him with no fear in the eyes.

"Aren't you scared? You are alone in darkness with armed technically enemy."

"Don't worry, I saw so intense light, that I am not afraid of darkness, nor your netherite."

"Great go, but fast that I won't change my mind."

She grabbed her bacpack harder and almost ran away from masked man, only looking back twice, but there was none there. After a while, she reached tundra and went with Phil's advices, soon on horizon appeard cottage. It was quiet around, with a little hesitation she came upstairs and knocked to door. She heard quiet footsteps, then Technoblade opened, but with a dagger in hand. He frowned seeing Y/N and put weapon down.

"What are you doing here?"

"Phil asked me, to take care of you." She explained, little bit annoyed, because for her that was obvious.

Piglin hybrid rolled his eyes and let her in. "But please, be quiet Tommy is in the cellar..."

"What... how?" Y/N whispered with confusion.

"He escaped exile, don't even ask..." Techno sighed and lighted up torches.

Now she could see how he looked like after failed execution. He had some scars and wounds, probably after fight and confrontation with Quackity. She spotted long cut on his arm, untreated.

"I can help with this..."

Technoblade looked at his arm, then sighed slighty.

"Do it... it sting like hell... this fucking Quack has luck to reach me."

Y/N smiled secretly and nodded. She put bagpack on table and pulled out ingridiens and potions carefuly. Piglin hybrid sat on chair and rolled up sleeve, where cut were. He swallowed hiss. She came closer and looked at wound.

"Its long and middle deep..." then she looked at rest. "Only this one needs magic treat."

"It's good, if you will try to kill me, you know what." Technoblade rolled his eyes.

"If I would try to kill you, you would be piece of bacon." She took another chair and sat closer, then started to treat his wounds.

'She has good sence of humor.' 'Fight, fight, fight!' 'Let's see what she can do!'

Y/N was gently and quiet, from cellar didn't even come any noises, so she thought, that young boy was sleeping. When she ended put special cream on wounds and slices, the time has come to arm's cut. First she cleaned it with water and alcohol, Technoblade was taking it peacefuly, avoiding eye contact.

Sudden noises caused them to look at hall, where ladder to cellar was standing. First, were chain of sounds, that reminded of leaving cellar and ladder's creaks. Second, appeard blond hair and rest of Tommy's figure. He rubbed his eyes, yawned like in sleepwalk, then went stright to kitchen cabinet, passing them. They went immediately quiet as grave, when he was walking and following him by gaze.

"Don't you dare to move."

Exactly, when Tommy showed up, she was finishing cleaning the wound. Technoblade almost broke armrest, because gauze with alcohol was pressed to his wound. Young boy took cup with water, drank and went back to cellar still rubbing his eyes. When he disappeard, they sighed with relief.

"How he escaped?" Y/N whispered and frowned.

"Well, I just think he need to rest... Dream's influence... " Technoblade said slowly.

"I understand..."

When wound was clean, one thought was enough, skin on her fingers became warmer and delicate light appeard, which was actually feeling nice against his skin. Wound slowly started to close, process was slow, but precise. When it ended, Technoblade moved his arm and hand, to check of everything is all right.

"Thank you. I really appreciate that."

Y/N looked at it, then started to pack.

"I should go now, I really don't want rest to discover, that I am not home." She smiled awkwardly.

"Your kindness won't be forgotten Y/N." Technoblade whispered and nodded.

She left house quietly and headed fast back to L'Manberg. This time nothing has troubled her, but strange feeling after bumping to Dream was still there.

}*{

Technoblade's burning desire of revenge was unstoppable, TNT falling from the sky and Wirhers going around just proved this. L'Manberg was gone... All around was destruction and death, some of members couldn't even escape. Dream was standing high up on awful construction of obsidian and Tommy was facing him with Tubbo. Phil stood near piglin hybrid, they were fighting arm by arm, she couldn't blame them. A lot of bad stuff happend there, but still tears were stinging her eyes and heart sinked into stomach.

After Doomsday she moved into land, that Eret handed her long time ago, to live in peace, without any unwanted conflicts and visitors. She grew closer to Ranboo and Tubbo, because they were visiting her a lot and she was visiting them. Y/N felt, that teenagers needed some comfort and calm after such events.

But then Dream said his last word about the discs. He demand them to show up and make it done, so they did. So they have fought on top of the mountain and lose. Y/N was in the group, which Punz was leading through the Nether into Dream's bunker, to help Tommy and Tubbo, to end masked man's tyranny. It worked, they both survived, green man was locked in Pandora's Vault, prison under Sam managment and whole SMP could sigh with relief.

Not for too long, because red vines covered the world and Tommy visited Dream, to face his demons, to really make it done. Everyone deserved redemption in her opinion, so it was good move, to move on. In this time she met closer Foolish, Technoblade and Philza. Being neighbors helped it a lot and shark god was an interesting, peacefuly person, with whom she could talk about past, magic and events on SMP. He was also annoyed by Egg and red vines. They discussed how go resolve it, but nothing useful came to their minds. Even Techno got slighty irritated by this 'Eggpire'.

Then breaking point happend and it was all sad and painful. Tommy got locked in prison during his next visit, with Dream in main cell. It couldn't just end well. Also security problems was another mystery, who could set up tnt outside the prison? Young boy didn't even mention that he is coming there... Time has passed and Sam brought everyone sad and devastating message. Tommy has been beaten to death by Dream. That has shaken her to the core, but Ranboo and Tubbo were much more broken. It was time, when she was actually taking care of them and helping with Michael. Foolish built big mansion for platonic husbands and kid, but halls were so empty without Tommy's laugh and noise. Meanwhile Ranboo and Y/N joined Technoblade's Syndicate. They were trustworthy and valued freedom, also it was good to have someone around, which could help in any case. SMP were more tense than usual and he didn't want to risk anything.

}*{

Couple of days after tragic events, something even more shocking happend. It was the middle of the night, when through SMP went magic impulse, sucking the life energy from around. Her mind went foggy, but it was cleary that energy was sucking into prison. Then blast, all of this were used to undone something terrible, something, that shouldn't be touched. Y/N stumbling got up and went outside, there was blizzard like world was angry for what's happend. Nevertheless, she got ready to trip, she had to know, she had to be sure. Y/N went through the portal in her basement, in the Nether was simple connection to portal in main SMP part, which was close to prison.

When she came out of Nether, it was raining heavy, but she could tell, that lack of energy was bigger there. The closer she got, the more feeling was stronger. Finally, Y/N reached the area where prison was standing. In the middle of the night, there was none here, only cold walls and sounds of rain hitting the ground. But she has known now. Something has happend inside Pandora's Vault, question was, what exactly? For sure now, none could enter the prison, not in this hour and after Dream'a deed. She had terrible feeling, that something twisted and sick took place, but there was no point of waiting anf thinking in the middle of storm. Y/N got back to her home at frozen plain, thoughts only on today's happenings.

SMP didn't need to wait long, to discover what was that. Ranboo and Tubbo were working on their own hotel, which was near Tommy's hotel, which was now under Jack managment. It was warm day and Y/N was helping teenagers with supplies. They were chatting peacefuly and working, when Sam approached them, but what was more important at his side was Tommy. Wounded, stained, exhausted but alive. Ranboo and Tubbo were like frozen, Y/N covered mouth with her hand while staring at young, blonde boy. Sam explained what happend and how he found Tommy after few days. Poor kid was trying to say things, but only unoticable words went out.

Y/N took him to his home with Ranboo and Tubbo, which were more than shocked. He still was blabbering about Dream, prison, death and even Wilbur. They were just so confused and tried to calm down Tommy, but it didn't go well. She stayed with him for three days, when he finally started to talk.

"I have known, that I can't let him inside my head again, so I was rambling about everything I could, then I started to sing and... and..." boy's voice cracked terribly.

Y/N sighed and carefuly placed her hand on his shoulder, but he winced. After revival young boy was very sensitive to touch and any psychical contact.

"He said we can experiment... he said he will revive Wilbur... I have spent with him three months in limbo. We don't want to have him here, he changed...!" Tommy's eyes became glassy.

"Look at me. They are not going to harm you. I won't let them."

He looked straight into her eyes and nodded slowly while trembling like leaf on wind. Young boy hugged her tight and cried into shirt, while she hugged him back and sighed quietly.

}*{

Tommy has moved to Tubbo's and Ranboo's mansion, which Foolish has built. It was temporary, because they didn't want Tommy to be alone and somewhere, where everything reminds him of Dream. Y/N was visiting them usually, they both liked Michael and support platonic marriage. It was so hard to forget and relax, he had to always be busy or bothered. It brought Y/N some time to enjoy spending time with Benchtrio. But she was still concerned about happenings in prison. Such actions always had consequences and it seemed like neither Phil nor Foolish were interested in details of Tommy's revival. Technoblade was immortal and just didn't care so it was pointless to ask him. Y/N had to investigate it on her own. Tubbo and Ranboo let her has a room for own in their mansion, it was pointless to coming each day from cold plains to Snowchester. She organized it for her likings, had there enchanting table and alchemical set, Y/N and Tommy were going to do normal stuff like mining, discovering new places and talking. Tubbo was invested into creating farms and especially bee one. So usually Ranboo and Tommy were out, enderman hybrid was good warrior so nothing was too dangerous and they grew closer.

Y/N had chance to glance on prison a lot more during her walking through main SMP part. Well Pandora's Vault was closed due to Dream's actions, none could visit him... but somehow Quackity was there day by day, entering the prison, sometimes even the same time. Y/N frowned after 10th day of seeing Big Q in front of black building. Something was off and if she wanted to go inside too... she had to know what or at least expalin that in a good way. There was the day when even George showed up, well they didn't know each other good, but had nice, friendly chat. He missed his friend and old days... but honestly who didn't?

After a week Y/N had a list of things, which she had to asked Dream if Sam will allow her into prison. It was bare minimum, but in the same time most important things. She took the most necessary things and left a note for boys, that she will come home late. Sun greeted her outside, in the sky were no clouds and warmth spread across her skin. Hour was early, she hoped not to bump into Quackity, because for sure he wouldn't approve such idea and still his intension of entering the prison was unknown.

Y/N came to the Pandora's Vault area, none was there luckily. Portal wasn't open, but she spotted small button near it and pushed it. After few seconds portal lighted up and she entered, then appeard in small room and entered again. It was for security, after appering in right room, where were columns and different halls on sides. Sam was standing in the middle where reading desk was too.

"What are you doing here Y/N? Prison is closed, do you need any help?" He asked with friendly tone looking at her.

He had his best equipment, but sword was hanging from his belt together with some potions. On the other hand, she didn't even have armour.

"Yes... I need help, but it's connected to the prison." She said with small hesitation.

Sam frowned. "I don't understand..."

"I will explain..." Y/N came closer and took her notes. "I need to talk to Dream, you know that revival on Tommy had happend and green man just proved his point of book and power. I have studied magic and my duty is to meet the revival circumstances, effects that it had on surroundings, each involved person and possible consequences, that might have happen in future." She said on one breath.

Silence has laid upon them and Sam was just staring on her, he bit his lips slighty and straight his back.

"You know what Dream has done in first place. It's too dangerous, I can't let you meet him. For another hand he won't reveal anything which is connected to revival, it's thing that is keeping him alive and necessary." Sam said after few seconds.

"I don't care about actual process and how he is making it. I want to know if he had any informations about consequences... I don't know if you know, but this night, when he brought Tommy back to life I felt, that a lot energy was sucking throught SMP into prison during the process." Y/N said with serious tone.

Warden sighed loudly. "I am sorry Y/N but I can't... what if he will hold you hostage? Or even worse..."

"I can protect myself." She rose her chin slighty.

"I have made my decision."

Y/N crossed her arms and her eyesight pierced him. "So why is Quackity entering prison each day?" She said bitterly.

Sam's shoulders tensed and his fists clenched dreadful silence appeard and he looked at her up and down.

"He is my business partner. Since I have been on guard all the time, he is coming here and we are discussing everything in this room."

"Don't lie to me Sam. I don't know what are you doing here, I don't even want to, I just want to know what I have listed to you. I will just ask Dream and I will be gone after that. Maybe we will get some answers, maybe not. I don't have any conflicts with green man, so he shouldn't do anything to me. I promise, please let me in. It can be more important, than we think." Y/N said with desperate tone.

Something in warden's eyes cracked. Maybe terrible things which happend to Tommy or constant spending days here in empty halls only with Dream...

"Okay I will let you... but only for short period of time and... please be careful because if something happen I won't help." He said with bored, bit dark voice.

"I understand, as I said I can protect myself and I won't be hostile towards Dream."

Sam led her throught prison levels and security proceses. She left most of things in enderchest only bringing in a list of things and piece of pencile hidden in small pocket. Everything was complicated and well think. Probably most problematic would be lava to go through. Warden made them fire ressistance and breathing potions. They were quiet during going through. Y/N singed papers in room without even questioning them.

"I hope, that I won't have to chase you around SMP." Sam said looking her straight into eyes.

"I can't wait when Dream will dig through obsidian with pencile." She shrugged.

They reached room, which was leading to main cell. Heat was coming from lava's wall. She looked around, when Sam pulled the lever. Mechanism want into life, echoing through the hall. Y/N took deep breath and smiled to warden. She hoped that Dream won't do anything yes, she was scared, but standing in place was killing her. That's why she was here now, facing the most dangerous person in SMP.

Soon lava went down, revealing the cube of obsidian, hanging in the air above the pool filled the lava. Heat again hit her skin. Inside was quiet dark, buy she could spotted person sitting under the wall, chest and reading desk.

"Stand at this." Sam commented and pull her into block made of honey, connected to some redstone mechanism.

"It will come back, since you have reached the cell. I will send it, when you would want visit to end, of course if it will be safe."

"I understand." Y/N nodded.

"I will turn off blockade, so you will be able to enter inside the cell, but then please be careful."

Sam again pulled the lever and block started to move towards the cell, when she jumped on the obsidian floor, two lamps turned on, lighting the room better. Blockade sinked into the floor, Y/N took off her cape, because of hot air and entered the cell properly. Dream looked up at her, inside his eyes sparked slighty curiosity and joy, but his face told nothing.

"What are you doing here?" He asked harshly.

"I just want to ask you some questions..."

He snorted and Y/N bit her lip slighty. She looked and him more precisely... violet spot around his left eye... lip with dry blood, fresh wound on his temple and eyebrow.

"What is this?" She asked totally surprised moving closer to him.

Suddenly Dream stood up very fast, Y/N winced expecting some actions, but he was just leaning at the wall. Now she could see old and new wounds and scars on his body. His sweatshirt had red stains, hands started to trembl.

Y/N immediately forget about revival and her questions. Dream was seriously injured for no reason, in the middle of the highest secruity prison. She rose his arms to studied the wounds, but he reacted quickly by grabbing them strong and squeezed.

"What are you doing?" He asked towering above her.

"You are hurt. I am trying to help." Now she could see long and short cuts on his arms.

"Why are you even here?" Dream asked clenching his jaw and looking straight into her eyes.

"I have studied long ago magic... I was going to ask you come questions about revival consequences, but it seems now, that this doesn't matter at all." Y/N said truthfuly. "What happend to you?"

She was far more than surprised, even shocked about Dream's condition. He looked like going to answer, but he hissed and collapsed landing on the floor, taking her with him. Y/N managed to avoid crash at him and land on her knees, when he hit floor with his butt. Dream sighed and took deep breath.

"Quackity... Quackity is torturing me..." he was able to said through the pain.

"What? How? What about Sam?" Y/N asked and sat right on his side.

"He is allowing him... and giving stuff."

"But Quackity is coming here each day...! Why?"

Her eyes has opened widely, it clicked... Sam didn't want let anyone inside to hide what they are doing to Dream... She heard rumors, that Sam and Quackity are working on Las Nevadas together and warden wanted probably revenge on green man or was just balming him.

"Revival book. I am not going to give them this knowledge or anyone. That is why I am alive. They want to know and they will kill me and none is going to know." Dream explained while looking at lava.

"Sam let me in, because I wanted to know about consequences... he hoped that I am going to know anything, since they didn't achive. And if I wouldn't get it, there was a chance, that something between us happend." Y/N was thinking loudly.

"But it didn't." Dream smirked weakly. "Now I am too weak to even stand..."

"Those bastards..." she cursed.

"Now you got yourself in some serious troubles." Dream said little payfuly.

"Oh they will see, I will cause them troubles." She said darkly, then looked at blonde man. "But first of firsts I am going to treat your wounds and heal you."

"What?"

"If you don't remember I have studied magic and you allowed me to stay in SMP, because of my healing skills. Also it was me, who healed Technoblade after his failed execution." Y/N reminded him.

"But why?" He narrowed his eyes. "You are not getting anything from doing that."

"Listen Dream, you deserve to be here after what have you done to Tommy and Tubbo, also you terrorized a lot of people and after killing and reviving Tommy I should beat the fuck out of you, but you are in prison. There was no agreement of torturing you each day. It's not right and even none will know or believe if, that will come out of this halls. You won't get any help for this."

"We literally have nothing and even if you heal me, Quackity will come and do it again." Dream noticed with frown.

"Leave that to me. Now please cooperate." Y/N t with one strong pull, she shreded material of her cape into few long pieces.

Dream was observing her each move and step with caution. She stood up and looked around holding one piece, if there was something helpful. Unfortunately nope, so Y/N dipped it into water pool in the corner.

"I am going to clean wounds." She said after returning to him and sat down. "Do you have any other injures?" Y/N gently grabbed end of his sweatshirt.

"Wow, aren't you little too fast?" Dream caught her wirsts and asked playfuly with smirk.

Y/N could feel blush slowly crawling at her cheeks, but she shook her head and gently released herself from his grip.

"Since you can't stand straight I have doubts, that you have strength to do anything else." She rose her chin.

"Wanna check it by yourself?"

"Maybe another time."

"Sure." Dream laughed and slowly took off his shirt, biting his lips from pain. His skin became paler from lack of the sun, his torso marked cuts and hit spots, in his stomach was mark in shape of top from shoe. Y/N sighed badly after seeing this.

"Legs too?" She asked looking at him.

Dream nodded in silence, but wasn't going to take off pants. Most of his injuries were on upper part of the body. He received some kicks in thighs or knees, but that was not special.

"Okay let's clean you and see which of those need magic treatment." Y/N said quietly.

They sat near the pool, so she could dip material in water. First were wounds on his face, her touch was light as feather and careful. Sometimes Dream was hissing, but he clenched his jaw and leaned hands on the floor. After his face, were both arms and shoulders, which was so much easier. Y/N had to bandage his left biceps, because skin was dry and wound threatened to open any time.

"Why are you doing it?" Dream asked suddenly looking at her moves.

"It's my duty, but honestly I am worrying about you."

"Duty?"

"Yes. First I am healer, so I have to help someone who is hurt, second you are my vasal. You have given me land with Eret. In my old society you have to be loyal to your vasal. I know, that here it works different, but still I was taught this. Third, you haven't done anything wrong to me directly. Of course I am concerned about your unhealthy obssession towards Tommy and another actions like destroying L'Manberg, taking valued items from people and being really bad sometimes, but I can't let you rot here." Y/N said slowly. "I am not like that."

Dream nodded slowly and she continued to treating his wounds. Soon his arms were cleaned and bandaged, then she looked at purple mark on his stomach.

"That need better treatment... did you vomit after receiving this?"

"All I have here are raw potatoes, I am vomiting without reciving a kick to my guts."

"I will have to talk about it with Sam." Y/N frowned deeply. "It can tickle a little."

Dream rose his left eyebrow with surprise and she put hand on purple mark carefuly. White light radiated from her skin, really it was tickling. Injury started to look better, soon even unatural colour gave up and skin turned into slight pink. He sighed with relief even slighty closed eyes.

"For now it has to be enough." Y/N said frowning deeply.

"Thank you... I almost don't feel the pain at all..." Dream whispered.

She stood up fixing her clothes, he did the same but slower.

"Now rest if you can. Body has to heal by it's own."

He nodded and Y/N turned back to the platform where Sam was standing. She went over the barricade, which immediately rose up after she passed. Y/N sent prison warden dead gaze, when he sent platform to get her from cube.

#Dream smp #DSMP #Dream smp fandom #DSMP fandom #dsmp Dream #Dream #Dreamwastaken #Dream x reader #C!Dream #C!Dream x reader #dream smp x reader #dream smp x y/n #dream smp fanfiction

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husbandohunter · 4 years

Text

Boys over flowers [Genshin Impact/Various x Reader] Part 2

Not everything had to be about fighting. Ahem Childe.

Genre: fluff, angst(?)

Characters: Zhongli, Childe, Albedo, Xiao

{Zhongli}

Out of all the bountiful possessions in the land he carved with his very own hands, the glaze lily had always been his favourite.

This flower was a nostalgia stained with time. As much as he loved them, the love he felt was more of a bittersweet sadness if anything. The loss of a friend, his mentor, someone he cherished so deeply, all of it was held into a single glaze lily.

Once as Morax, now as ordinary Zhongli, in those 6000 years he had seen it all. Even his grief for Guizhong faded into a memory.

Sometimes Zhongli felt like he was reading from a story book. Detatched while staring through an omniscient standpoint. It seems that his infinite years brought both experience and lonliness along the way.

"Zhongli? What are you staring at?"

But not when he was with you.

The glaze lily went on many journeys when he met you

He remembers the first encounter on a sunset night just as the petals were about to bloom. You were there, crouched down, staring into his golden eyes.

“This is for you! Not many can be fully matured like this so make sure to take good care of it,” You held it out to him and he takes the stem out of your hold.

“A parting gift, I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” Zhongli sees it as a sign of a new contract, “It seems you possess a good eye when you were selecting them.”

He remembers the bouquet you presented during his birthday, the garland you placed on his head when he was reading, the vase by his desk always filled to the brim whenever you’d pay a visit to his parlour.

He remembers how the blue petals scattered across the floor the day you two married, everywhere he went so did this flower. Everytime he saw this flower, he thought of you.

Was it okay to feel like this? No one can ever replace Guizhong, was it okay to love again even when this being was much more perishable than she was? Zhongli was use to the experience of tragedy and loss as it was part of life.

Ah, so this must be what it feels like to live like a mortal.

To cherish every passing moment knowing that it won’t last forever. He will embrace it to the end.

Old memories that were once dust rose from the soil, now reborn into a new beginning. Your curious gaze leans closer to his profile, sitting side-by-side under the blankets of your shared bed, the corners of his lips lift into a small smile.

“I’m only reminiscing, my dear. You don’t need to worry for me.” He kisses your forehead and tucked you to bed. The candle now blown out as his arms wrapped around your waist while spooning from behind.

Zhongli closed his eyes, knowing if he dreamt of a garden full of glaze lilies, there will be no sadness behind it.

{Childe}

Mother fucker would try to turn this into a sparring session.

This is why you NEVER invite Childe. If the valley were the air nomads, Childe was the fire nation. He’d stomp his muddy shoes in front of you just to get your attention simply because he knows it will piss you off.

An angry s/o means a potential fight. Win win situation.

Thus, no one blamed you for giving him a cold shoulder after that.

“Aha, looks like I went a little too far, didn’t I? Alright alright, I’ll stop trampling on your flowers from now on, you have my word. So talk to me, okay? Please?”

Alas you spare him a glance, “Make that a pinky promise.”

He didn’t know you were so serious about gardening. The Feiyun commerce guild took greate pride in cultivating the finest silk flowers in all of Teyvat and you being from that guild held up that legacy. Even if Childe tries to buy back the ones he stepped on, nothing could match the quality of your work.

Needless to say, your little hobby became a normal thing, Childe was very chaotic in nature so something more calm was nice to mediate that attitude. You taught him how to water plants, place the fertilizer and knowing which ones to pick.

But let’s be real, florist Childe isn’t that far-fetched because he is 10/10 waifu material.

Then Teucer comes in and tags along. He wanted to take some silk flowers back to Tonia until Childe informed him they’ll wilt on their way to Snezhnaya.

“Aww, that’s too bad,” he would say while pouting, “Then I’ll give them to you big sister (Y/n)!”

“How sweet, you’ll be quite the charmer when you’re all grown up, Teucer. Maybe even better than your big brother.”

“Come on now, babe. You know that’s impossible.”

You twirled the silk flower right under your nose, the playful tone never leaving your voice, “Oh really? You and Teucer both share the same genes so yes, it is a possibility.”

An amusing glint dances in the ocean of his gaze as he gleefully remarks, “Well if you put it that way, I think Teucer would be at a very big disadvantage.”

“What do you-”

Before you could finish, Childe covers Teucer’s eyes and leans over to steal a sinful kiss, sliding his tongue inside. He purposely brushed his lips over yours after parting, completely satisfied by your flustered expression.

I love this bastard

{Xiao}

Hip hip hooray for having both Qiqi and Xiao in your party. Must be fun collecting their ascension materials.

“Adeptus Xiao!”

Your dumbass fell off the high cliff while obtaining the violet grass, Xiao yeets in from nowhere and caught you from death’s clutches.

Shall I mention that this had happened TWICE already?

Xiao carries you to safety and gently settles you down to your feet. He shot you the sharpest and most deadpan look he could muster because actions speak louder that words, he was trying to make a point.

You gave him a weary smile as the violetgrass batch limps in your hands along with the qingxins.

“I can hardly fathom how utterly stupid and moronic you can actually be. What did you think would happen when you tried to pull off that stunt? That you’d suddenly grow wings and be able to fly?”

His harsh words put you back into your place like a scolded child, “I’m sorry...I just wanted to help...”

Mah man does not watch what he says and always end up guilty. Your kicked puppy look is really going to be the death of him. He means well, just harsh when it comes to your well-being.

“Fine, give me those. I’ll take care of it.” He wouldn’t allow you to retort, he just took them from your hands and left without a word.

Let’s just say that Xiao isn’t the best when it comes to handling flowers as he would handle monesters, his touch isn’t the most delicate either and would prefer to get the job done fast.

Sometimes he’d pull the roots our along with it, dirt and mud dripping from the bottom of the stem. Or the opposite. He pulls too hard and the stem just SNAPS and you’re left with just the blossom.

“Does it matter? They’re only ingredients as you’ve said.”

That gave you a perfect excuse to teach him the ways of gardening and just be more delicate overall.

At first he didn’t understand why humans were so meticulous about these things but when he saw a man present a bouquet to his wife, Xiao began to reconsider his methods. He doesn’t undersand mortal traditions as much and sticks to something simple and classy.

Don’t be surprised when you find a bunch on your desk for your birthday <3

{Albedo}

The sheer cold of dragon spine could naturally kill any botanical organisms aside from mints. The only flowers Albedo usually sees are the ones he artificially makes.

But being the genius he was, Albedo knew every variety of flowers to exist in the book. In this case, HE was the expert.

To him, the flower was the symbol of life. Albedo only knew the scientific facts of plant life and their natural functions, you on the otherhand were more familiar with the flower languages in a deeper meaning.

Today was a rare day where Albedo figured he’d step out of that freezing lab and conduct his research somewhere warmer, specifically Windrise where it’s quiet and away from the city.

“Dandelions may not be flowers but thei’re the main specialty of Mondstadt carrying the meaning of ‘freedom’! That’s probably how the Acting Grandmaster got her title.”

“Freedom...” He ponders, “I guess you cold say that.”

Albedo can’t understand why people would choose to associate meaning with plants. Where do their ideas come from? And why? Frankly, he can’t see the point in any of it.

But at the same time, it made him happy to see you so enthusiastic about his research even if it wasn’t quite near the target. Albedo had always been so engrossed in his work and you’d just silently keep him company of the side, not many times where you both fot to nerd out on the same topic.

Emotions were still a mystery to him. It seems that even upon the most boring subjects, they don’t seem boring anymore when talking to his significant other. Soon enough, Albedo found himself putting his research aside and just listening to you talk.

“And the Rose expresses romance and love. It’s common for lovers to give it to another during Valentines day.”

He hums cheekily, “Are you telling me that just to hint me to give one to you?”

“W-Well, I didn’t say that.”

He got nothing done. Perhaps his research can wait for another day, right now, he was more curious on what other meanings can a flower hold.

#genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin albedo #albedo x reader #genshin childe #childe x reader #genshin zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #nya-writes

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stellocchia · 4 years

Text

Okay, time for another overly long analysis of our favourite green blob with a god complex and traumatized teen!

I will be discussing both the “Trapped in prison with Dream” stream and the “Am I dead?” stream as I think they should be analyzed together, so espect spoilers for those. It also goes without saying that, from here on out, unless stated otherwise, I’ll be talking about the characters and the roleplay only!

So here we go! More under the cut and be advised that this will be a long one!

First of all it’s essential to keep in mind that Dream’s view of his relationship with Tommy is extremely different from Tommy’s. I will be going more into details as the analysis proceeds, but it’s very clear by now that Dream is under the delusion that Tommy’s attachment to him is as strong as his for Tommy.

We have multiple examples of this, but the strongest one (until the revival stream at least) was back in the season 2 finale when he kept believing that Tommy wouldn’t kill him as he wouldn’t kill Tommy. We also have instances like him saying “exile wasn’t that bad, you had me” and his insistence on them having “so much fun together” that all point to the conclusion of Dream believing their game is played on both side.

Tommy, on the other hand, made it abundantly clear that he despises Dream entirely. He recognizes that Dream actively makes him a worse person when they’re together and he recognizes that he abused and manipulated him along with many others. Tommy doesn’t reciprocate Dream’s obsession in the slightest and actually seems extremely taken aback any time the green man proposes the idea of them being a theme.

On that last point it’s interesting to notice that the actual idea of them working together (Tommy and Dream vs the world style) is actually something new that Dream introduced with his stay in prison. Proposing they could “escape tigether” when they first ended up stuck there and even more in the two latest streams... Dream’s interpretation of their relationship seems to have shifted from “fated nemesis who have fun together” to “friends”. No, this is not a positive shift, and I’m not framing it as one. Dream’s idea of friendship is as twisted as can be and Tommy has zero say in the matter.

Now that the introduction is done, let’s get to the actual analysis!

Trapped in prison with Dream

So the stream starts with Tommy trying his best to annoy the Hell out of Dream. Then PussBoy is introduced...

One thing to point out is that Tommy seems to fear silence and lonliness over everything (as we’ll see proof of later on), so it’s honestly no surprise that he would not be able to bear the silence for too long.

“The cat is the best thing that’s happened to us” Dream is already sort of shifting from the “me” talk to the “us” talk, which is rather interesting. That also mirrors his “You being stuck here is the best thing that’s happened to me since I got to prison” statement.

Then there is the interaction with Sam where he decided to leave Tommy in there longer in order to solve the issue. We also get a very rare instance of Tommy showing a lot of his vulnerability, talking about exile (though it’s clear he doesn’t know Sam knows as much as he does about exile), which promptly gets ignored in favour of Sam continuing to work on the security issue.

A few seconds after Sam left Dream already burns the new clock. The reason he’s doing it is obviously to keep Tommy in a more vulnerable state of mind by continiously insuring he has no way to tell how much time has passed. All the while acting like it’s no big deal of course. Like his actions aren’t deliberate.

“What if we get out together?” “No, no! Because then you’ll break out with me, I don’t want you to break out with me” Dream already gave a similar proposition when they had just got stuck together and, again, the reason why this is so important, is because it seems to indicate a shift in Dream’s mind between the “me vs you” mentality to the “me and you vs the rest”.

There is then the whole debacle with PussBoy where he’s killed. There isn’t really much reaction from Dream for it (really, Tommy shows more panic about it then Dream does any emotion. Please people, re-watch that scene and stop using the damn cat as a motivator there). “Look Tommy, I’m gonna get out” is literally his only reaction. That and saying that Tommy is and always has been his motivator: “You motivated me, well, you motivate me all the time”. It really couldn’t be clearer here.

“I’ll get out and, when I do, I’ll get my revenge” (...) “On who” “On everyone who’s wronged me” “Oh on fucking everyone won’t you! You’ll go and you’ll kill fucking... you wouldn’t kill anyone would you? You wouldn’t, you wouldn’t kill someone (long pause)... of course you fucking would...” Now, why did I highlight this whole thing? Well, because there’s a lot to unpack here.

1) Dream is still fully of the idea that he was in the right, hence his desire to get revenge on “those who wronged him”. His mentality has not shifted at all so we can conclude, once and for all, that his “meek” act during most of the visit was indeed just that: an act.

2) Callback to Tommy saying he feels like his brain is “wired to be Dream’s friend”, despite having already been killed 2 times by Dream, Tubbo more recently almost dying to him and knowing what he is capable of in general, it still takes him quite a bit to remember that yes, Dream would kill someone, he would hurt people. Tommy still has a hard time admitting to what happened to him and the impact Dream has had on him and he’s not entirely out of Dream’s manipulation (once again, good representation, because you don’t heal from something like that in a month), he is however now better at recognizing it and correcting his own faulty thinking.

“I have a plan” I did not notice this on first watch, but was Dream’s plan to send Tommy to the afterlife from the start? Or, at least, to send someone there so he could study it? It could very well have been. He’s shown in the next stream that he wanted talk to Schlatt immediately asking Tommy about him once he was back. We can’t however ignore that he mentione that “someone who owes him a favour” may be a part of his escape plan, so that feels rather important for the future once he’ll have brought Willbur back to life.

So then there is more of fight that start. Dream is getting annoyed at Tommy’s “whining” and tries to make him see things from his perspective (aka “it’s not so bad because we have each other” again with the trying to establish their “friendship”).

“You don’t have ME, you never have ME, we don’t have each other, alright? I am me and you are this fucking looser who goes around manipulating people and lying to get what he wants” What this is is 2 things:

1) Tommy recognizing what Dream is trying to do, the subtext of what he’s saying and refuting his claims (hurray for the bit of healing he’s had!)

2) Tommy actually recognizing the possessive side of the claims Dream keeps making. I don’t see this talked about that much, but, to Dream, Tommy is most definitely his propriety, just like Tommy’s disks were Dream’s in his mind (remember that speach? He literally referred to them as “my disks”). I mean, he clearly acts like that’s the case, enphasizing time and time again how he has absolute power over Tommy (I’ll go a bit more into it towards the end of the analysis of the other stream, for now though, keep this in mind)

“Even when I’m in here I’m more powerful then you are when you are outside” back on the theme of Dream’s God Complex I see. He seems to like showing off as often as he can “how powerful he is and how powerless Tommy is” (in Dream’s words from the season 2 finale), though that’s most probably to keep enforcing the dynamic that he already established in exile, the whole thing with Tommy being entirely dependent on Dream. He seems to like that aspect of their dynamic as he has expressed multiple times his appreciation for that specific period of time.

“If I wanted to, right now, I could just kill you. And the only reason I’m NOT is because of my friends, for Tubbo, because WE need that fucking revive book, alright? That’s the only reason I’m not killing you” well, I mean, we’ve known this for quite a while. The only reason Dream got to keep his last life was because of Tommy’s attachment to his friends. I’ve seen a few people saying that it was specifically to revive Wilbur and, while that may have been an idea at first, by now he had already shown multiple times that that was not the case (even before spending time with him in the afterlife). When he went to “Wilbur’s revival” (the failed one) he showed that he was already incredibly uncertain about wanting Wilbur back (describing him as “not so poggers” in very Tommyinnit fashion). No, the actual reason why he wants the book is most likely because Tubbo is on his last life and we know he can’t live without his best friend.

“Tommy, I’m never, I am NEVER EVER going to use the revive book to help you or any of your stupid little friends, okay?” So now the question is: was this a lie or a twisted version of the truth?

I’m gonna say the latter and here is why: Dream DID, in fact, revive Tommy. We know this now, it’s canon. But he really didn’t do it FOR Tommy. One thing I want to make clear is this: while Dream may, in fact, consider himself and Tommy “friends” he doesn’t CARE for Tommy himself, not in a way that’s commonly considered as “caring” at the very least. He finds him fun, entertaining and he seems to be rather dependent on him, but NONE of this things equate to caring about HIM. So, now that that’s cleard up, the resons why he revived him in the first place should be rather obvious:

1) He wanted to see if he could and learn more about his power in general

2) As I said before, there is a degree of dependency Dream has on Tommy. It’s very obvious in the fact that, despite having let go of every other attachment, he doesn’t seem able of letting go of Tommy, not permanently anyway. He seems to actually need to have a degree of control over Tommy at all times

“I will never use the revive book. I will NEVER use it on you, I will never use it on any of your friends, I will never use it to save ANY of you” now THIS one is a straight up lie. What Dream was trying to do here was provoking Tommy enough to see if he’d actually kill Dream or not (which was a useful information for him for later). To see if Tommy could bring himself to do it (he can’t)

“I’ll get out eventually because, either you’ll let me out or... people will be dead” way to be ominous green man! We could assume by this point that his plan to escape may have been along the lines of “getting Techno to repay him by killing one of Tommy’s friends therefore forcing him to let Dream out to bring them back”, or something of the sort.

“This isn’t worse then exile (...) because in exile I thought you had all the power (...) here’s the thing Dream, here’s the thing I know: I don’t think the revive- I- how could I be so fucking...? The revive book Dream, it’s not real is it?” Here is where things start to actually go downhill fast. There is nothing Dream hates more then Tommy questioning his power, there is nothing that makes him angry faster (I’m sure the whole “I don’t give a fuck about Spirit” speach comes to everyone’s mind when I say this, as it should). Dream, as much as he presents himself to be a logical mastermind, is actually very emotional in the way that he is very easily overtaken by anger. He does irrational stuff every time he gets mad, that’s no secret. If he wasn’t already planning to kill Tommy to test his power, this push is what convinced him to do it. Also this is the exact reason why he likes Tommy (weirdly enough, their relationship is so very complicated) in the first place, because he’s the only one who’s constantly questioning him and challenging him.

As we know the fight escalated and Dream ended up killing Tommy telling him to ask “Schlatt” about the book. Though before that there are quite a few exchanges were Tommy expresses that he thinks Dream is powerless now and was lying about the book all along because that’s generally what he does and Dream keeps insisting that he’s not lying and that Tommy’s life is still in his hands, that he still has all the power (turns out he wasn’t so wrong...).

Also, last line to analyze from this: “I might as well be a God Tommy! You can’t kill me and I can kill you” pretty sure this is the first time Dream outwardly announces his God Complex and it’s interesting that his idea of power revolves entirely around having power over Tommy specifically. Because, even having power over Tommy’s life he’s still in prison, he stil has no real power of any kind. Everyone on the outside still hates him (aside from the anarchist duo), they still aren’t letting him out. Who comes to see him and what he can keep in his cell is still entirely dependent on Sam and not on him. But the fact that he has power over Tommy is enough to make him a God in Dream’s eyes.

Am I dead?

Fisrst things first, the afterlife part:

It seems that we may be seeing pieces of conversation had at different times. Let me explain myself:

Tommy opens up asking if he’s dead, then he has an interaction with Wilbur that sounds like it could be their first interaction after his Tommy’s death as Wilbur asks how he’s doing.

We know however that he’s been ther for at least 2 months, probably more considering he seems to have interacted with Schlatt, but Schlatt has been comatose for 3 months. We could then assume that what we see is a sort of very short montage of Tommy’s time in the afterlife.

The next scene we have Tommy asking “How long is left?” (we don’t know what he’s referring to, though it could be to his revival) and Wilbur responds saying that, to the end of the Universe it would be still 8 eons. Then Wilbur asks him to play competitive solitary and they randomly chat for a bit.

New change of topic (probably next scene again) we have Wilbur telling Tommy he’s happy Tommy is there (dead) with him as the tw of them were never good for the server and caused all the problems (which we know to be incorrect, but it was Wilbur’s mentality at the time of his death and it makes sense that he would have kept it). Tommy also has a very clear panic attack which Wilbur generally ignores. Wilbur also says that, if he’s brought back to life, he knows for a fact that the server will be in shambles because, in his words: “I know what I’m like, that’s the issue”.

Like it or not people Wilbur is most definitely implying that he knows he wasn’t a good person and that he won’t be different when he comes back. Simple as that. It’s also a further confirmation of his self-deprecating nature that brought him to self-destruct in the first place.

There is another pause that we could consider a cut scene and Wilbur is then talking about making a solitaire arena in a couple of months to an exasperated Tommy

Now for the revival itself:

First thing we notice once Tommy is back to life is that he’s most definitely experiencing a sensory overload. He’d gotten used to living in a colorless dimension with almost no sounds (aside from Wilbur’s and Mexican Dream’s voices I’m guessing) and no sense of touch aside from the constant pain that being back on the living plain may be quite ovewhelming for him.

“So what was it like?” Dream doesn’t loose a beat once Tommy is back before starting to ask him questions. He literally sounds like an eager kid who just got a new toy (and I gotta commend cc!Dream for the voice acting here!). The book worked and now he needs to find out exactly to what extent he can use it (the idea of immortality being on his mind as we’ll see later).

“Void, it was dark, it was all dark” “There was Schlatt, there was Mexican Dream” “There’s so many more drugs then just alcohol” “Mexican Dream, he was there, which was confusing, he was loud. And then there was Wilbur...” “(Continuation from below) and then I came out and I was in a long long hole, a tunnel of black and void, not even black just colorless” “When I was there it all felt so real, but so torn apart. It felt like I was in pieces, like I was stomped on” This is our best description of the Afterlife so far. A static void with no colors or viable sensations, with only 3 known residents now that Tommy is not there any longer. A weird reality with a seemingly entirely different set of rules to our own.

“Death felt like my body was taken apart and then put together and then taken apart and put together here. It felt stretched man” “It felt like I was shredded to dust” “No it didn’t feel goo- it felt like I was put through a shredder, but there was no blood, there was no flesh it was just essence, like a powder and I was put through (continues in previous section)” This is Tommy’s complete description of his experience with death and what it felt like. Having to stay for months with this constant sensation it’s really no surprise he would be so hypersensitive to touch.

“Honestly I was kind of scared it wouldn’t work” So, here we got another indication of the fact that, while Dream killed Tommy in rage, having him stay dead was never his intention (despite him claiming he would never use the book on Tommy a couple of days prior). He never intended to severe his last attachment (I’m honestly not sure he even CAN seeing as how dependent he actually seem on Tommy), he literally only killed him because he was mad Tommy would question him and wanted to prove a point, but to prove his point in the first place he needed Tommy back. It’s also probably why he revived him so fast, his weird need to have control over Tommy, which he couldn’t have while Tommy was dead.

Why did he care so much about Tommy not believing him on the book, you may ask? Was it to save his own skin? It’s possible and I think that’s part of it, others being convinced that the only reason they kept Dream alive was a lie could cause his death. The other reason is that he seems, as I said before, to want to shift his and Tommy’s dynamic to an “us vs the world” type of deal, which would require Tommy in particular to believe everything he says.

We can now add being hit at all by Dream to Tommy’s ever growing list of trauma triggers as he seems to have a very vivid recollection of his death by Dream’s hands... also we need to point out their body language in this: Dream is constantly trying to get close to Tommy as much as he’s constantly insisting on getting more information, while Tommy alternates between getting close to Dream and pushing him away (could be he’s both seeking some kind of comfort, but is also very overwhelmed).

“Tell me, one more time: what was it like when you died?” “Did it feel good?” Dream’s insistence and exitment about Tommy’s very obvious extreme distress is honestly concerning, but expected. By now we can safely assume that he doesn’t really have any empathy, I know, bold claim, but is there any evidence to refute it? Any evidence at all? Because, so far, he has shown a distinct lack of empathy in any and all situations...

Another interesting thing was Tommy’s reaction to Dream’s probing questions: while he seemed to get increasingly distressed by them, he kept answering Dream every time with little hesitation only at times adding on things like calling Dream a monster for the way he was treating him. I honestly think this may have been because he was in desperate need of comfort, and having someone to confide into is part of that. And Dream was the only “someone” he had there.

We then get the whole exchange about how time in the Afterlife is different then in the normal plain of existence. I’ve seen people equate 1 day to 1 month, however that’s incorrect. That was Dream’s wrong assumption but, from whet Tommy said, we can guess that it was much more then that. Frist of all, the first month and 18-20 days Schlatt was still awake and he was the one making them keep count. That said, we know Schlatt has been asleep for around 3 months (we don’t know exactly how much as they lost count). Which means that Tommy’s stay in the Afterlife was much more around 5 months then 2, meaning 1 day in the Real World should equate to roughly 2.5 months in the Afterlife give or take. That is, of course, assuming time there moves in a regular way and there is an actual correspondence between Real World time and Afterlife time, which is not a given.

Tommy keeps asking for the people he find reassurance in (at least we can assume so) which, in this case, are: Tubbo, Jack, Phil, Fundy an Sapnap. It’s a pretty weirdly matched group of people but, apparently, they are the ones Tommy seeks out when he’s distressed. It would be interesting to see an analysis of his relationship with each of them, but this one is not about that I’m afraid.

“Wait shut- shut up! Shut up! Sorry, I’m sorry” Tommy seems to have re-acquired some of his exile mannerism such as being overly apologetic and skittish, together with the lashing out more. None of this are good signs... he had just started healing as well...

“I... I’m a God! I can bring people back to life, I wasn’t even sure that I could, but I can!” Bringing Tommy back to life worsened Dream’s God Complex even further, because now he doesn’t only have power over Tommy, but everyone else as well. And, I mean... at this point he IS basically a God, he’s not even wrong on that.

“Dream, Dream, listen to me. The things I saw, the things he talked about, the things he said he will and the things he WILL do... do not- promise me, never EVER bring back Wilbur! Please, please, please” In case anyone was wondering this is the exact thing Tommy said on Wilbur. He didn’t say he’s worse then Dream here, but he IS bad news, at least if we trust Tommy on it. Wilbur wasn’t only self-destructive when alive, he was destructive in general. He was dangerous to others as much as he was to himself and he DID hurt people. And this side of him seems to only have been accentuated by death.

“Do NOT bring back Wilbur. Ever! Promise me you’ll never do that, alright? Dream, Dream, you are nothing, you’re nothing, you’re fine Dream! We can be friends if you don’t bring him back! You’re not even- all the tragedies you’ve done-” and here’s the part that I’m guessing people are interpreting as Tommy saying Wilbur is worst then Dream which is... a fair interpretation actually (considering that Tommy is not a reliable narrator). Now please don’t get me wrong, Alivebur as he was, wasn’t worse then Dream, but he had years in the afterlife to become even more radicalized in his beliefs. There is also the fact that Tommy doesn’t seem to put the harm done against him on the same level as that done against others: Dream has hurt Tommy worse then Wilbur ever did, but Wilbur’s potential harm against others might be greater in Tommy’s mind then Dream’s. That’s the reason why he’s offering something he knows Dream wants, which is his friendship, in order to keep Wilbur from coming back: because he truly doesn’t care about his own wellbeing as long as others are safe. Of course Dream’s response to this is: "It’s not up to you. It’s up to me because I- I have that control” which is very in character for the green blob with a God Complex

“What if, now that we know, we could send you back and you could figure out-” We can see that Dream has an utter fascination with this whole concept and, now that he knows revival works, he has no qualms with sending Tommy back (no matter how obviously traumatic it was for him) to get further information because, guess what? Death is not in any way an escape anymore. He can simply pull Tommy back as he pleases.

There is then the exchange about burning the book, but, as Dream has it memorized, they would need to kill Dream to get rid of the knowledge, but Tommy can’t bring himself to do it because he’s even more terrified of being stuck alone in the cell then he is of Dream bringing Wilbur back.

“I wanna know about death. We can study it! We can study it together! We can become immortal together!” Again, if there were any doubts on Dream’s constant need of having Tommy under his control, this should dissolve them. There is truly not much more he can do to show how obsessed he is then offering Tommy to be immortals together, especially because we know that the ideal for him would be to have Tommy be completely dependent on him again. To have his favourite puppet under his control for eternity apparently... “I want absolutely fucking nothing to do with you” of course, as we said many times, Tommy doesn’t view their relationship in the same way. Tommy actually hates Dream and truly doesn’t want anything to do with him.

“You owe me your life” “Owe you my life? You beat m-!” Who’d know that Dream had some similar arguments to his apologists huh? But this does show how warped his view of reality is. I mean, he’s fully aware that he beat Tommy to death, but he still think Tommy should be grateful to him for bringing him back.

“Now you can tell everyone that the book exists, that I'm not a liar!” Dream really went hard with the whole God Complex thing, even going as far as choosing his profet huh? Man’s just on a high horse and will never get down...

“Everyone... is my puppet” Welp, this is the culmination of his God Complex. The realisation that he has absolute power of life and death over everyone else. That he can play with them as he pleases. Also, may I add that, for basically this whole stream, he has used the “soft voice” he tends to do with Tommy whenever he’s trying to get him to comply? Like, I’m mentioining it now because it was particularly obvious in this last exchange, but it’s been there on and off the WHOLE time.

“You killed me to prove your own point. You could have just showed me! You could have just- this is so evil. This is- this is- this isn’t like before. This isn’t you’ve blown up and- you’ve put me through torture, through pain, to prove a point, that’s fucked! You can’t do that to me... to anyone!” It took almost half an hour but Tommy has finally come to the full realisation of what happened to him, of why it happened and he’s honestly very understandably distraught about it (though it is to be said that it's arguably quite good that he understands that it wasn't okay for him either to be put through that as he tends to downplay his own suffering greatly). He has been through something unimaginable for us because Dream was upset that he didn’t believe him about the book. That’s all there was to it, that’s all the reason for his suffering. Like, he’s not wrong at all when he describes Dream as a monster, that’s literally the only accurate description of him. No normal person would put someone else through this for such a petty reason.

“You’re soft Dream, you’re soft” Another valid point by Tommy. While Dream IS undoubtedly extremely powerful and extremely clever, he’s also petty, stubborn and childish. He throws violent temper tanrtums every time someone (especially Tommy) disagrees with him and mostly gets away with his bs because he has the power to back them up. That said he hardly ever lost, the only true loss he had was being locked in prison, and he managed to turn even that in his favour! But that’s the think: loosing makes you stronger, it often teaches you a lot and pushes you to get better. He (along with a couple of others) basically never had that. Tommy’s been through literal Hell and he survived that, he knows he can survive that. Dream? He may break at the first real hardship as far as we know!

“I’ll let you free, I’ll let you free alright? We’ll call for Sam, we’ll get him in here, he’ll let you out, but... I’m gonna bring back Wilbur and Wilbur- Wilbur is gonna help me escape” 2 things to unpack here (aside from the fact that he’s using the “soft voice” to say something extremely disturbing again):

1) Dream is, once again asserting his power over Tommy in two ways: by frasing it in a way that implies that it’s up to Dream wether Tommy leaves or not and by confirming again that Wilbur’s resurrection is entirely up to him and that Tommy’s opinion on the matter is utterly worthless

2) He fully intends to use Wilbur as a puppet as well because, as he says a bit later, if he brings him back then Wilbur will be indebted to him

And that’s how it’s concluded!

My closing thoughts on this are that, generally, Dream’s level of dependence on Tommy seems to worsen as fast as his God Complex. man went from telling him that their story “would never be over” to offering him immortality in the span of little over a month. Tommy is Not Doing Good, AT ALL, but I’m hoping he’ll ask for help this time from other people because he literally cannot deal with this on his own. Wilbur will not be good news, but what he’ll do is still entirely uncertain, it is to be pointed out however that, at the beginning, his frasing at a certain point sounded scarily similar to Dream’s idea of “us vs the world” when he said that him and Tommy specifically are the single cause of conflict. I hope I’m wrong there because the LAST thing Tommy needs is another obsessive God-like individual in his life!

@mysweatymakerstudentworld

#long post #I'm not jocking this gotta be the longest I've ever written!#tw abuse #tw death #prison arc #analysis #character analysis #dream smp #dreamwastaken #tommyinnit #c!dream negativity #don't know if that needs tagging #god this was exausting to write #I'm spent #utterly deceased #hope it helps those who were still confused though #/rp #my post

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