#because some things might creep you out and not be harmful!! and thats okay!! but that doesnt make them a bad person and you dont get | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

asce-of-hearts · 4 years ago

Note

hi sweetie! Can I request a tamaki x f!reader jealous,The reader is jealous of a nejiri because Tamaki takes a lot of time with her and helps her, it gets worse when he helps her in the beauty pageant and she wins! Tamaki didn't notice it until he saw the reader trying to harm herself (if it’s okay nsfw and long)👉🏼👈🏼 I hope you write it. I love your stories, and I hope you accept that, but if it makes you uncomfortable then ignore it please ,ily🐝💞💞

Hi darling! Of course I can do your request. Don’t worry, it doesn’t make me unconfortable, but if you want to check my limits before requesting here are my RULES

Jelousy 🎂 🍮 🧁

MASTERLIST

Word count: 3k

Contents: Yandere!Tamaki with a jelous fem!darling.

Warnings: Yandere themes, jelousy, self harm mentions, depictions of violence and death,stokoholm syndrome, nsfw.

Tamaki never tought jelousy could give him some kind of advantage over his love interest, he tought of it as a tactic only rats and people who had no human desency used to trap girls and make them theirs.

That is until you arrive, such a beautiful and pretty girl. He found himself having some... desires for you, the way your body moved and how your smile seemed to lit up every room you entered had him feeling in a special kind of way. He loved you and he was sure. He was so obsessed with you, he watched you sleep, he watched you eat, he watched you do everything you could imagine! He was just so allured by your presence, you were such a special person.

He became friends with you thanks to Mirio and Nejire, you were a heaven’s gift to have around. Kind, funny and beautiful, everything he wanted in a woman and everything he wanted for his woman. You were so perfect, everything about you had him wanting more and more. You drugged him up with your scent whenever you wore whatever perfume you wore, he inhaled deeper into your shirt. Soft linen with a small ribbon, such a perfect fit for you. He could just imagine how you looked, how your body looked in this outfit. Your curves surely looked divine, you always looked divine.

He had to interrupt his daily ritual of cherishing every object he took away from you because of a call, a call from Nejire. He answered in no time.

“Hello?”

“Ah, Tamaki! Can you help me with something! Its almost time for the beauty pageant and I want to prepare for it” the blue haired girl said cheerfully, he smiled.

“Of course”

He really wasn’t interested and Nejire, and she wasn’t in him either. She was just a friend, really close friend with him. Nothing wrong with that, I think. He was just helping her out choose some dresses for her to wear. he even wondered how some would look on you.

When he arrived at the place Nejire asked him to meet up he noticed you were there, chatting and showing her something on your phone.

“Tamaki!” you both greeted, Nejire rushed to give him a hug, just her usual affectionate self. He watched your face tinted in an unusual way, seemingly saddened and angry. Were you jelous?

That’s so cute.

“Hi, y/n” he smiled shyly towards you, a smile rapidly forming on your face.

“Hi, Tamaki” you smiled back at him, you both stared at each other for a moment, smiling dumbly and blushing, you were so close, he could just take a spet further and... Nejire took you both out of your toughts.

“Hey, love birds! You can eat your faces later, we have to pick some dresses!” he said mockingly, smiling at both of you. You bursted in laughter while Tamaki blushed and felt like he was about to faint.

“It’s not like that!” he said with a big blush covering his face, you just took his hand and approached Nejire, together, such an inocent touch was enough to make him take you into his arms forever, he was so in love with you.

After a while of Nejire looking over stores and stores and Tamaki and you feeling like your feet were burning you all decided to go your separate ways. Nejire leaving first since she had some other things to prepare for the pageant. You were together in the mall, just looking for something to eat. Was this a date? Oh man he didn’t really know.

The rest of the short time you shared at that place was nice, you went for an icecream and laughed a little.

“I should go” you said with a smile, taking your purse and getting up.

“Let me acompanny you, it’s dangerous to go alone” he said blushing, for some reason his usual shy self dissapeared a little around you, your presence was so relaxing!

You nodded, your hands were starting to sweat! The boy you’ve liked for so long was offering to accompany you home! You were so fortunate. And he felt fortunate as well, they girl he had desired for so long was letting him go to her house, well, acompany her to her house.

Lets go forward a couple of weeks. Tamaki and you had been interacting a bit too much since the time you spent alone together. And his obession definetely became stronger, you were so perfect! Made for him and only him. He now stalked you on a daily basis, dedicating hours of time on watching you sleep just so he could make sure you were safe and happy. You were so adorable, whenever you shake and cry in your sleep makes him want to cuddle and hug you so you’ll feel safe, but he can’t. What would you think if you saw him in your bed without him telling you, its too risky, he can’t have you hating him.

Sometimes he had to risk loosing you while you were sleeping by helping out Nejire, or just hear her cry and stress because of the pageant. He is a good friend so he listens to her and helps her. But he would rather have you in his arms than do whatever he is supposed to do to help Nejire.

And you on the other hand were jelous, feeling like all of Tamaki’s attention was going towards your blue haired friend. Oh how wrong you were, his mind was clouded with toughts of you every second of the day. Going back to you, since you didn’t know about Tamaki’s obsessive behaviour you were obviously jelous! Nejire was prettier, smarter and in general better than you. Or at least thats what you tought and tought that he tought.

Toughts, they filled your head, not good thoughts just bad ones, the ones about Tamaki liking Nejire and just... pushing you away from him so he could be with her. You wanted to puke because of that feeling, jelousy. It was a feeling you had to deal with all your life.

“Nejire...” you mumbled while looking at ceiling, not finding the mental peace you needed to drift into sleep “why can’t I be like her?” you said to yourself, feeling your eyes fill with tears. A blade next to your bed had Tamaki worrying, but decided to not think anything of it since you weren’t actually doing anything dangerous or harmfull towards yourself or others.

Unlike him, he had hurt people who tried to take him away from his side, take you away from him to be in their arms, people who tried to harm you or cause you any kind of pain. He had hurt and killed for you. He wasn’t proud, he wasn’t happy about doing it. But doesn’t love make it okay?

Didn’t love justify his disgusting actions towards others? He just wanted to protect you and love you like you deserved, none of those people can love you the way he does, they just can’t. They aren’t as obsessed, they aren’t a loving, caring, possesive. They aren’t him. He is the only one that can love you the way you deserve, the way you want, the way he wants you to desire.

The day of the pageant went great! Nejire had won unsurprisingly, and he looked at her with such adoration it seemed like he was looking at a sunset for the first time. Your heart broke, your heart ached and seemed like it was getting crushed by a hammer, stepped on by the boy you liked so much. He looked at her with such delight, wich such love, he wouldn’t ever look at you that way.

Dear, you were so far away from the truth.

Did you really not notice how he stared at you, you made him mad in the best possible way. Didn’t you notice how obessed he was with you? Were you really so stupid to think he could ever want anyone else but you?

His gaze towards her friend might seem romantic at first, but is far away from that. He is just proud, friends are proud of their friends. She was happy and looked cute so he was happy she looked cute enough to win. You were cuter anyways.

Still, did you really think the way she looked at Nejire was special? Have you not noticed how he looks at you. I mean, sure, you are asleep or completely unaware he is watching you but still, in his eyes there’s a special glow, like he is staring into the face of God, he just gets so hypnotized about everything you have. It’s no surprise, he loves you so much.

What was a surprise was seeing your arms covered in blood.

And also the fact he had broke into your house to stop you.

Ah well, he was going to take you away soon anyways.

“T-Tamaki?” your voice was merely a whisper, not wanting to attract attention to the room. You froze on the spot, not moving a muscle just waiting for his reaction, explanation or both.

“Please don’t scream” his eyes pierced yours, a shiver ran down your spine as well as a feeling of safety. Curious how a stalking situation evolves into an act of care and tenderness, really, really curious.

You kept quiet as he looked for the first aid kit or something remotely similars. He found a pack of bandages and alcohol, good enough. You sobbed heavily, not wanting to cry from the shock of him finding you doing this. It had become a habit to harm yourself whenever you felt the disgusting feeling of jelousy creep into your mind. He would find you disgusting too, right?

“Why?” he asked cleaning the fresh cuts, you hissed from the sting the alcohol brought to your arms “Why did you do it?” he said without looking at you, focusing on the wounds you had. And the scars, decorating you like tiger striped. Beautiful, what a sight for sore eyes.

Really beautiful, he didn’t want you to suffer, but have you heard of offering god your pain and suffering? A divine sacrifice its what is called, and is often done by people who have to bare a pain so hard you just offer it to god. Its considered the most beautiful act someone can do before ascending to heaven, pain becomes beauty. Well, that’s how it felt like, at least for him. What could cause you so much suffering that you had to do this to yourself? He didn’t know.

Frustration was a feeling you both shared from this. When he finished cleaning the fresh cuts and stopped the bleeding he just bandaged you up, still waiting for your answer to the question he had asked before.

Your heart ached, that’s why you did it. Much like a divine sacrifice, but less beautiful, less ritual like and more painful. You wanted to overcome that state of pain and suffering from the heart ache you were suffering, from the jelousy and wishes to choke Nejire for being so perfect.

“Do you promise to not get mad?” you hiccuped, awaiting for the response.

“Why would I get mad at you?” he answered, it was a genuine question and the answer you needed at the same time.

“Okay” you muttered “It’s just that... I was jelous”

“Of who?”

“Nejire” you confesed, feeling the urge to cry again, he was going to reject your feelings after this stupid show you had put “I- I’ve always liked you, Tamaki. I like you a lot, like, a lot-lot” your eyes filled with tears again “It’s just that you look at her with so much love, you never looked at me that way” a sad smile creeped in your face as you looked to the side, not wanting to face him.

He finished curing your arms and he cupped your face.

“I- I like you too” he smiled shyly, you cried even harder this time, holding him in a tight hug as you cried and cried and cried.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry!” you said as loud as you could without shouting.

“There’s no need to be, love” he said, feeling guilt for what he was about to do “I’m the one who should apologize”

“For what?” you asked, naive and inocent like a small child, and unaware of what he was about to do

“For this, I’m so sorry, y/n” he said as he hit you with force in your temple, it would leave a bruise, but it was the easiest way to knock you out. Your body fell against his, he cried a little from what he had done. But he had to do it, he had to take you away.

He carried you into his arms towards your new home. The place you’ll feel safe and warm, where you’ll never feel the need to hurt yourself again.

You woke up in your new home, in the place you would be trapped for the rest of your life, not that you were aware of it.

When the first month passed you were aware, after your first escape attempt, after the first trimester, then semester. Then a year. You were dead to the world by now, you were sure.

But you were also sure that you loved Tamaki, maybe just as much as he loved you!

Tamaki wasn’t a lewd man, quite the opossite, sex terrified him, so many ways to screw up, such a vulnerable state, so may things about it that he didn’t like. But you weren’t touch starved, no no no. He loved cuddling, him hiding his face on the crook of your neck or your chest was lovely, holding you so close, breathing the same air, being melted into each others arms like there was no other day you would be able to do this. After all, the chance of that existed. Since he was a pro hero he had to to take advantage of everyday with you to the maximum, cherish every single second he spends in your glorious presence.

Beautiful, love is truly beautiful.

And lust comes with love, its just a natural reaction. You just had to give yourself to him on a silver platter, in a tidy and beautiful presentation. One that he would enjoy, one that he would love.

You were losing your mind waiting for him, the lingerie you were wearing making you nervous. Was this apropiate? Would he reject your advances? You hoped not, really really hoped not.

When he came into the room his heart raced, pumping blood right to his nether regions, juts the right amount to make the bulge in his pants noticeable. You blushed as you did something so disgustingly lewd. At least for both of you. Your legs opening as your fingers hooked on the side of your panties.

You smiled.

That smile could knock an army of men down.

Your folds revealed themselves to him, so pinkish and so perfect, delicious, beautiful. Truly beautiful.

It was like a blessing, he got closer to you by a sudden force that had possesed him in a way no man could ever imagine. He got closer to your panties, you got nervous, shaking in anticipation for his next movement, you bit your lip. He grabbed your sides in a grip so tight it would definetely leave marks, and then he forced your legs open, gaining a gasp from you. He chuckled and then pressed his nose against your covered folds. What the hell was he doing?

He inhaled your scent, drugging up on it. Better than any kind of narcotic he could bring himself to try. God, you smelled so god. His nose pressed against your soaking wet panties as he pumped his cock with force.

And he began eating you out like a wild animal goes on a piece of meat, his tongue fucking you as he humped the mattres, wanting friction on his rock hard cock. Moaning everytime you pulled his hair a bit to roughly, he wanted more, he needed more.

“y/n” he moaned on your wet cunt, the vibrations and his hot breath causing you to nearly orgasm in his face. You didn’t know how you managed to retain the uncoming wave of pleasure when he finally inserted his cock in your wetness “you look so pretty” he said, blushing and cutely moaning when your gummy walls welcomed him so tightly and so delightfully.

Your hips bucked forward when you felt the need to get even more pleasure from this experience, getting another cute moan from him “b-bunny” he groaned as his hips brutally smacked yours. So cute!

His pace was murderously hard and brutal. So fucking perfect. His moans and yours filling the room as the wet sounds of your cunt filled the room, disgustingly wet. Such a beautiful experience, such a perfect way of showing each other how much love you felt. Nice and beautiful, perfect and fulfilling.

“y/n, y-you feel so good” he moaned, drooling and doing a small cute ahegao. You cupped his face with the leaving strenght you had from how hard he was fucking you “I love you” you said, moaning and arching your back when you felt his cock kiss your cervix. Cumming on the spot.

Your walls clenched around him perfectly, so good and so delightfully, he didn’t think he could get even harder with his thrusts but he did, and it felt so good.

“Bunny! B-bunny! I’m gonna cum” he moaned as he thrusted as hard and deep as he could into you, filling you to the brim with his seed. It dripping from your small hole and staining the bed a little bit.

“I love you” he kissed you on the lips after saying this, dedicating you a lving smile.

“I will love you forever, y/n”

I hope you liked this, sugar!

If you have anyother requests please let me know.

Have a great day/night!

#yandere tamaki #tamaki #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere #yandere bnha #yandere mha #mha tamaki #yandere tamaki amajiki #yandere tamaki x reader #tamaki amakiji #tamaki x you #yandere tamaki smut #tamaki smut #mha smut

406 notes · View notes

cozytruecrimeaddict · 5 years ago

Text

I Think I Need Help (Hotch x OC) pt 3

Hey I’m back. (Also I wish the pages app would show me the word count on these because dang, this was like 5 pages of writing)

So this does not 100% follow season 2 episode 11 anymore.

However, my warnings still stand

WARNINGS: regular CM violence, rape, suicide, self harm, and light cheating

Nothing besides the light cheating goes into a lot of detail, just mentions and I want anyone who reads this to be prepared

I quickly rush to gather anything that is visible and bloody and stash it. I remember when I first got close with Aaron, I gave him a key to my place. In case anything happened, so someone had access to my stuff and whatever else might be needed. I’m surprised he didn’t use it this morning.

After that I showered as fast as I could, coming back into my room and changing. I threw everything I needed into my bag and ran into the kitchen, only to find Aaron sitting at my kitchen table.

“Did you speed here or something?” I smiled at him. Just pretend Sam. He won’t figure it out. He won’t try to profile you.

“I was worried. I don’t like being worried about you.”

“Well, you’re not my Dad, Aaron. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Morgans brought up that he’s worried too.”

“I’m fine.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that. You haven’t been acting like yourself.”

“I’m fine Aaron. I don’t know what I can do to prove it to you. I’m just stressed and tired. Lets get back to the office okay.”

Aaron stood up, brushing past me on the way to the door. I really hate lying to him. But, there’s no way in hell I’m telling him the truth. Just one more, before you go. I shake off the thought. I’m not addicted to this again. This isn’t my life. This won’t be my life. I’ll die before that happens.

“So, what did I miss this morning?” I ask, kinda annoyed I slept in on such an important case.

“No new suspects, yet. Another body was found, this one with word ‘failure’ carved into her abdomen. Gideon had just started his psych eval with Nathan before I left.”

Failure, did he emphasize that word on purpose? Is that all he thinks of you. Just the little kid charity case he has to babysit. He hates you. He doesn’t want you around.

“So, how likely is it that the kid did it?” I shake off my thoughts. Stop it Sam. Aaron is one of your best friends. He loves you and cares about you. No he doesn’t. Stop pretending.

“It’s hard to say, I don’t want to believe he did it, but it is still possible.”

I sighed, trying to calm my thoughts. How strange though, to be comforted by the thought of my blood running down my arm.

“Aaron…”

“Sam.”

“Please don’t worry about me. I promise, I’m fine. And if I wasn’t, I’d do whatever it takes to make sure I stayed alive for you and everyone else.”

“The do whatever it takes part is what worries me.” Aaron started, changing lanes and pulling into our parking lot. “Ever since you started with us, you’ve become one of my best friends. I really care about you and I know, I’m over protective.”

I can’t. I can’t have him caring. Theres only one way out of these thoughts. If 10 years wasn’t enough to end them completely, what would be?

“Let’s just get inside..” I got out of the car, and he followed.

The elevator ride took forever. I felt Aaron watching me, studying me. As we reached the floor the offices were on, I stepped forward.

“Don’t try to profile me, Aaron. You won’t like what you find.”

He came up along side of me and whispered something in my ear that made my heart sink.

“I know your neighbors aren’t in a band. I’ll figure out what’s going on eventually”

And he just walked away.

I sat down by Reid as Gideon had brought the kids mom into his office. From the looks of it, it wasn’t going too well.

The day passed by me in a blur of files, and trying to figure out how this all could have happened. How am I still here, why am I here. I’m not helping this investigation whatsoever and I’m really no use to the BAU at all. Especially if they all have to worry about me.

Thats when I noticed it, a damp spot on the left arm of my black top. I must have subconsciously started picking at the cuts. I get up and head to the bathroom, cleaning and drying them as quickly as possible. I got back to my desk, and Nathans mom was looking for him. He wasn’t back at home in his room and she had found some pretty disturbing edits to an edition of Hustler.

We all split up and made our way through the street searching for him. Until, another body was found.

This was…. wrong. Our unsubs profile was literally that he kills early in the morning. Not killing late at night, and to also have him dump this girl at the base of the Federal Building? It doesn’t make sense. Even if he was devolving, this takes risk. This takes prior knowledge of what’s happening around here.

Hotch says as much, but it still doesn’t mean Nathan didn’t just do this as he was passing the poor girl and kept running.

Reid follows a local cop who found the kid, and he brings him in.

Back at the offices, Aaron asks to speak to me in his.

“I think you should sit the rest of this one out, Sam.”

“Why, Aaron?”

“You’re not all here, and I don’t know what’s going on with you, but no one is going to think any less of you for taking a couple days to figure it out.”

“I don’t know what else I can do to prove to you that I am okay. Am I the same as I was? No. But who would be? I know what actually went through some of these girls minds.” My chest tightened, and for a second, just a second, I was back in his basement, my hands tied behind me as he pushed himself into me.

“Sam…” I heard Aarons voice, he sounded distant. 3 days, 17 hours, 22 minutes. I gave up. I was ready to die. They didn’t need me.

“Sam, I’m right here. You’re okay.” No, I’m not. I felt something gripping my wrist. No. I smelled the alcohol on his breath. I tried, I tried to break free.

“No…” I whispered.

“Sammi!” Aaron raised his voice just a little, and the scene around me went back to his office.

“I… Wha… Aaron?” I felt something wet fall from my eyes, I pressed my finger gently underneath, wiping away tears. Aaron guided me to sit down in front of his desk, he kept his hand on my left forearm. That must be why I felt pressure, he probably grabbed me to help steady me. He leaned on his desk.

“Want to explain what just happened?”

“If I knew, I promise you, I would.”

“Talk me through it.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Hang on a second, Sam.”

Gideon appeared, nodding at me.

“We found our guy, and we’re heading out to grab him now.”

“Alright, I’ll be down in a second.”

Gideon left, and Aaron came back to me.

“You’re sitting this arrest out, Sam. I want you to stay here and help Garcia. That’s an order.”

“I’m…”

“Don’t say you’re fine. We’ll talk about this later.”

I went off to help Penelope with whatever she needed,

She had everything under control and mostly we just talked.

“Okay, but Sammi my love, you need to give me the details!” She smiled at me.

“What details Pen?” Seriously, what did she want.

“About Hotch? He’s so private with everyone except you. Like who is he? Is he a good kisser? A girl needs to know these things.”

I laughed. She wants to know everything I can tell her about Hotch?

“Oh no, I am not crossing that line.”

“Oooooh which lines and how many have you guys crossed.”

“He’s just my best friend.”

“hey!”

“Okay, my best guy friend. I need my girls nights with you and JJ”

“So no after work make out sessions?”

“He has Haley.”

“If all men were loyal, crimes of passion wouldn’t exist sweetheart.”

“He’s loyal to her.” As far as I knew.

But, before I could have too much fun, something dark started creeping into my mind again.

She is just babysitting you. You were too much of a burden to be in the field, and you’re a burden on her. Why are you still even here? Why do you even bother waking up. Change that detail, and their lives would be better. You weren’t even good enough for the creep in his moms basement, or he wouldn’t have let you go back to them.

Garcia noticed me zoning out, but by then, the team was back and Reid was talking to Nathan again.

“Okay, that’s it. We’re going out tonight.”

“Oh no, I’m not in the mood.”

“I will drag you. You are coming.”

She pulled me to my feet and dragged me out of her office.

“Reid, come on. We’re going out.”

“I really wouldn’t be much company tonight.”

“You’re coming.” She insisted.

“Listen to her Reid, she’s dragging me along.”

He smiled at me, but gave in and got up.

As we got to Pennys car, Reids cell phone rang. Everything just happened so fast. I was starting to psych myself up for heading out with them, but it wasn’t okay.

“Drive, and hurry.” Reid said as we all climbed into Penelope’s car.

“What happened?”

“It’s Nathan…” Reid said.

Oh no….

We got to the motel room, and everything was just wrong. Nathan was across the bed, both wrists slashed.

I wasn’t in the motel anymore. I was 13 again. I was laying across my bedroom floor, begging for a reason. Any reason at all, to just stay. I couldn’t think of one. My own parents abandoned me because I was such a freak. I was too smart for my own good, yet not smart enough. I was graduating high school, and getting ready to start college at my age? The world was just beginning to open up, yet everything felt so small. Everyday everyone told me I was better off dead. Teachers ignored me. No foster parents cared enough to keep me around for more than a year. But that was all about to change. I wouldn’t be around long enough to care anymore.

I felt myself put pressure on Nathans left arm, at the same time Reid got to his right.

“Spencer…” I whispered, there was too much blood. Theres a chance that this kid was going to get what he wants. His answer to the pain.

Everything faded into the background, as a paramedic guided me and Reid off the kid.

I looked down, and my top was covered in blood, whether its my own or not, I don’t know.

Outside, the team was waiting by the ambulance for us.

Gideon guided Reid back towards his car, and Morgan took Penelope. But of course, I was alone. I started making the walk back to get to my apartment. I wasn’t even too far back to the main road when Hotch pulled up.

He got out of his car and hugged me to him.

“What happened? When Garcia said attempted suicide I thought…”

“I told you Aaron, I’d do whatever it takes to survive.”

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“I’m fine with walking, if you had an extra shirt or something though, that’d be much appreciated.”

“Sam, get in the car. I’m not playing this game tonight.”

So, I gave in. I became the charity case yet again. The little girl who always needs her friends to protect her, even when she doesn’t deserve it.

Hotch took the 20 minute drive back to my house. Instead of just dropping me off, and letting me head in to be with my thoughts, he followed me inside.

“I’m fine.”

“We discussed this earlier, I never have and never will believe those words.”

“You should be with your wife and son.”

“I’m staying here tonight. I’m not leaving you alone right now, until I know you’re okay.”

I sighed, putting my gun and badge in a drawer in my hallway and locking it.

“I’m not your charity case, Aaron. I don’t need your help.”

“Charity…. Sammi, is that really how you see yourself?”

“Ever since I was taken..” 3 days, 17 hours, 22 minutes. “You and everyone else have been acting like one wrong turn and I’m going to break.”

“I’m going to break one of our rules tonight Sam, and I hope you can forgive me.”

“Aaron, we only have one rule for our friendship to work, and that’s that we can’t profile each other…”

He guided me to sit down on the couch and look at him. I hated that he was about to do this, and I hate that I need him in my life. I hate that I can’t let go to make his life easier.

“Ever since you’ve been back, you jump at every sound. You empathize better with our female victims, especially those who have been assaulted, which leaves me to believe that while we were trying to find you, you were assaulted, or at least threatened with it. The way you’re trying to get away from me right now makes me almost positive of that fact. The way you got lost in the blood from this past case leaves me to believe you have some kind of issue involving blood from the past, possible childhood or early adolescence. Once again, your body language right now gives me reason to think I’m correct. The way you’ve been….”

“S…st.. stop. Aaron. Please.” I moved closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. I took a breath, trying to steady myself. “If I tell you what happened when I was taken, you will never stop seeing me as this victim. I will never stop feeling like a burden on the team. I will never be able to get back what I lost. You want the truth, Agent Hotchner, the truth is that I’m barely hanging on. However, I’m fighting like hell to keep my head above water. All I have to do that with is my job, and making sure I stop the next creep before they do what they did to me, to someone else. If I tell you what happened, or anything that I have going through my head, you won’t even like me anymore. You’ll transfer me off to some other department and I won’t have only lost my job, or my friends, but I’d have lost my family. I’d have lost the only person that I love.”

I didn’t realize it, but I had gotten so close to him. Our faces mere inches apart. I don’t know what’s happening. Why am I doing this. He’s married. He’s my best friend. But here I am, once again, messing things up. That was when I felt it. I saw his dark eyes staring into my blue ones. My heart literally skipped a beat, and in that second, Aaron had placed his hands under my chin and pulled me up to him. He kissed me softly, slowly. I moved just a little bit, wrapping my arms around his neck. Why was I doing this. Haley. Jack. I needed to stop. But, this felt right. As I pulled him to me, he leaned forward just a little bit more, causing us to fall backwards on my couch. I gasped, and I just stopped. I moved my hand to his chest, pushing back a little.

“We can’t..”

“I’m… I’m sorry. I…” He stuttered.

“I.. I can’t Aaron.”

“You said I didn’t like you.. you don’t even know how much…”

“Stop.” I felt my eyes burning. I liked Haley, she was kind enough to ask me to be Jacks godmother.

I moved Aaron off of me and got up.

“I need to shower, you… you can st..stay but I’m going to sh..shower and head to bed.”

As I stormed off down the hall, I looked back to see Aaron sitting there with his head in his hands. I know he must be upset, he just kissed me when he’s married to Haley. I won’t be the reason his marriage ends. I just won’t.

#aaron hotch #hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #Aaron hotch x oc #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine

38 notes · View notes

grotesquegabby · 5 years ago

Note

I know I may have asked this before so you can skip it and I can try to find the OG answer, but how would your elders feel about mine? I believe you only did three of yours which is okay, just wanted to see if you were willing to do it for others

I found the og post huehue~ So I can answer for the rest of them. uwu I am totally willing~ some of these guys are assholes so I apologize ahead of time

Seraph: (golden bitch)

Risus - Eh suppose you are fine as long as you dont cause trouble for me.

Trituna - Would try and stay out of Tritunas way not because they are scared but because even Seraph understands the balance of things shouldnt be fucked with.

Conllium - this may come as a surprise but Seraph would actually like Conllium but wont admit it. They like Conlliums realm and how just....the way everything is. They wont admit this to anyone though x3

Cundolili - Would mostly be curious about Cundolili

Trema/Astute - would be neutral towards

Decla - another they would be neutral towards

Nalia - Just wants to say they love Nalias outfit but wont say anything else x3

Sionis - booorrring.

Mecor - Another beautiful elder whom Seraph will be jealous of x3 but wont say anything about it.

Logium - wouldn’t really know too much about Logium so not too much of an opinion.

Zerneboh: (bastard mode activated)

Risus - a possible ally/friend/frenemy

Trituna - As one who destroys the balance of things they will hate each other.

Conllium - Wouldn’t like Conllium one bit.

Cundolili - Will be curious, as to who this is and why they will be replacing Conllium.

Trema/Astute - Would Tolerate more than Decla.

Decla - Would tolerate Decla but would not like them. Zerneboh loves absolute chaos and disaster~

Nalia - Wouldn’t like Nalia in the least but knowing Zerneboh he pretends to be friendly with almost anyone. Cause hes a bastard.

Sionis - would find them annoying.

Mecor - hmm~ Zerneboh might be a creep to her but there are those who wont let that happen so she will be fine. But what an interesting family~ he thinks to himself

Logium - No

Orfeo: (a little bitch)

Risus - would see a possible friend in Risus.

Trituna - Dont think He would like her. Balance....gonna fuck that shit up.

Conllium - Nope

Cundolili - uhhh

Trema/Astute - maaaybe?.....I...wait...no...

Decla - They deal with Risus they can handle Orfeo x3 so this is a Nope from him heheh

Nalia - Thinks they are beautiful will learn quickly not to be a creep to them

Sionis - ah fuck...

Mecor - beautiful~.... (dont even think about it Orfeo...)

Logium -well x3 I dont really need to say why these two wont get along lol

Pestilence:

Risus - What he feels about Risus is hard to say, Pestilence is a complicated guy.

Trituna - Pestilence is iffy again here. Hes not one to always deliberately piss someone off like Famine or accidentally like War. I imagine these two would be an on off kind of possible friendship or allyship wise.

Conllium - A chill tree, a lovely place to be. Definitely would see them as a friend indeed. His contribution to the decorations are masks to hang upon their branches~

Cundolili - Would be welcoming to Cundolili. Curious about them, but would never do them harm. Just as welcoming to them as they are to Mecor. uwu

Trema/Astute - Wouldnt mind Trema, though Trema might mind him. Pestilence can be annoying to some.

Decla - I feel the relationship here would be rocky considering Pestilence is Pestilence and they spread all kinds of sickness and destruction. But he is a chill guy who wouldnt mind chilling out if asked nicely. hes weird that way x3

Nalia - honestly seems like a really fun person. Pestilence would enjoy their company a lot uwu

Sionis - Doesn’t mind Sionis, chill, does a good job at their role. Even Pestilence loves Justice, especially when it happens to those who deserve it.

Mecor - Elder to be/New Elder, Pestilence would welcome her with open arms. He enjoys meeting new people. Would think shes a swell lady, lovely family.

Logium - Time is Time and Time is a friend to some and an enemy to others. But Pestilence has no issue with the Lord of Time in fact finds them quite entertaining and such uwu

War:

Risus - is a torn between hating and wanting to help them in whatever they do. War is a complicated person and War does as War does.

Trituna - I think these two would have a tough time getting along.

Conllium - I imagine she has tried to fight Conllium but failed to lift them cause she would try that. I imagine she would give up though and pass out next to them asleep x3

Cundolili - would want to know who this is as soon as possible. Could be a wrestle buddy you never know. x3

Trema/Astute - might find Trema kind of boring.

Decla - Wanna wrestle...at least? I think they would see Decla as a possible buddy. Something about Decla screams friend to War.

Nalia - I dont imagine these two would get along very well. War might not like how peppy Nalia is or seems. and Would try and void them.

Sionis - Wants to fight but in like a...friendly way. War isn’t so good at understanding friendship but she would Sionis as a possible ally and friend.

Mecor - Will ask if she wants to fight as a sort of welcome and to see how tough she is. You can turn her down its okay plus she will be told thats not how we welcome people into the council. Stop asking everyone to fight (its like that zodiac make up video where one of the zodiacs constantly is like wanna fight)

Logium - Gets the weirdest feeling they have to be super respectful. So shes gonna try.

Famine: ( the least liked of the horsemen)

Risus - eh...could get along actually. Famines is more leaning towards that side.

Trituna - Famine is the type fo fuck up balance. He and Trituna I dont believe would get along very well...

Conllium - He wouldn’t care for Conllium no reason specified why though

Cundolili - Wouldnt really have an opinion as of yet.

Trema/Astute - Wouldn’t have too much of an opinion but would tolerate Trema/perhaps even find some enjoyment in talking with them though Famines not much of a talker.

Decla - The things Famine does is in no way a sensible disaster...I imagine Decla would be trying to fix whatever damage Famine does. So they wouldnt get along either. Would find Decla annoying

Nalia - Would find Nalias outlook and attitude irritating. Too much positivity.

Sionis - For some reason I dont see these two getting along. I see Famine being kind of a dick to Sionis, it could be that Sionis is for justice/protection and such and Famine is...well Famine. So he would see Sionis as someone who would try and stop him from what hes doing.

Mecor - a newcomer who was fated to come. Hed share his piece about the Elders with Mecor and be on his way. Hes not very welcoming....so just ignore him the others will tell Mecor the same uwu

Logium - Mysterious being who Famine has honestly never seen. And hed be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad bit nervous to meet them. Something about this elder would send a slight shiver down his spine.

Hope:

Risus - Oh crumbling biscuits....not another one.

Trituna - You are the elder of Balance, she would consider it an honor to meet them. Hope loves many of the elders like Trituna. Would show them respect uwu

Conllium - definitely someone she would fall asleep next to them. She would also go and talk with them a lot. Conllium is such a wonderful elder. uwu

Cundolili - Would adore Cundolili (- uwu-) even if their presence means Conllium is no longer around which would sadden Hope. She would welcome Cundolili with open arms.

Trema/Astute - somewhat nervous around but would get used to them uwu Knows they are not a bad elder like Risus or Zerneboh

Decla - This is a being who works very hard and deals with a lot. They deal with Risus and who knows what else. Definitely deserves respect

Nalia - Would Love Nalia, absolutely love them. Would definitely want to spend time with Nalia the most.

Sionis - Sionis would make Hope a bit nervous but she knows they are just a serious person. She would trust them and find them quite reliable uwu look up to them even.

Mecor - Would love to meet her, cant wait to meet her. Shes heard nothing but good things!

Logium -A very wise and calm being, Who Hope would feel compltely safe around. uwu Definite trust from the start.

Space Grandpa:

Risus - Would absolutely dislike them

Trituna - is someone they would enjoy being around. Space Grandpa isnt always one for talk but Trituna is someone they would enjoy spending time with regardless if they talked or not.

Conllium - Is one who would visit Conllium, unfortunately would not be able to sit beside them and sleep. Too big. x3 but They would love to chat with them, spend time with them.

Cundolili - welcome with open.....tentacles? arms? claws? something x3 they will welcome them. Offer any assistance if they so wish for it.

Trema/Astute - would remind him of The Void,

Decla - would feel bad they have to deal with Risus so much. Would offer an ear to listen. Space Grandpas a good listener. Definitely would see Decla as a possible friend.

Nalia - Loves how Nalia is, loves their attitude and personality.

Sionis - Admire Sionis, Dependable, a good person. Sees them as an equal like other elders among them.

Mecor - Would be welcoming, more so than normal with others. Mecor is family after all.

Logium -equal footing. A good being and wise, mysterious

Void: (This is more of how void would describe them..as Void is neutral to everyone)

Risus - one who causes trouble

Trituna - Balance, you are very important to the multiverse.

Conllium - a peaceful being

Cundolili - a young one, welcome

Trema/Astute - perfect neutrality

Decla - hard worker

Nalia - peppy one, they were once that way. It is nice to see another

Sionis - a being who watches, reliable.

Mecor - fated to be.

Logium - Father time is a thing theyve heard humans say. But Time is Time

Hope this was good~ uwu sorry I know its a lot

2 notes · View notes

aurajitsu · 7 years ago

Text

The Sound of Your Voice

Part 11: Feel Free

Summary: The Avengers rescued you from one of the last HYDRA facilities. Discovering your abilities, The Avengers take you in. Why is it that you and Bucky share a dark past you are not willing to share…?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse, violence, human experimentation, language

A/N: you guys!…this is it! the end!…(epilogue to come) -thank you for reading!

Series Master List

Part 10

—

“Nothing matters more to me… than you.”

Bucky’s voice echoes in your mind. It was time you thought, time to face your demons. You hated what they had done to you. What they took, made you lose yourself and your identity. You only had one thing in mind now. A fire sparked to life within you, you couldn’t ignore this anymore.

You lost sight of Bucky, but that didn’t stop you. Mustering up the last of your energy you let out the strongest scream you could muster under the water. It was cold and damp, a rush of air warped the water around you. You could feel the vibrations in the air, amplifying and expanding underneath you. Glowing rings beneath your feet. Lifting you to the surface.

You hovered over the lake, a little shocked at first that you were able to pull this off with out going unconscious. You turned and looked for Bucky and Steve. You called out their names, no answer. You panicked a little when you saw nothing over the surface. You calmed your nerves, and sang a melody. Focusing the song to comb into the water, the sound waves catching disturbances underneath.

“Bucky!”

You walk over the water, rings of sound forming new platforms for you to step on. As you were searching above you hear Steve call out. Shouting so you can spot him, swimming toward you at the center of the lake. Dragging with him an unconscious Bucky.

“Steve! Bucky!”

You hollered at them. He didn’t seem surprised at how graceful you stood over the water, standing on glowing rings. You walked over them as if they were lilly pads of sound, keeping you afloat.

You gave Steve a hand as he gripped at the solid rings, pulling Bucky over to you first. You expand your platform as Steve pulls himself on it too. Steve is gasping for air, he’s tired but checks Bucky’s pulse.

“Bucky! I’m so sorry,” You kneel over him and see that he isn’t breathing. You grasp at his wet henley shirt. His locks stuck to his forehead, you scan his features.

“Oh no, please, Bucky!”

You see Steve begin resuscitation by placing his hands on Bucky and pushing in. He pumps several times.

“Wait!” Steve looks up to you and almost snaps at you when he says:

“He’s not breathing!”

“I know! Just—just…hold on!”

Steve can’t believe you stopped him from helping his friend. You place your hands on Bucky and begin to hum. Letting the warmth of your sound intensify and seep into Bucky. He watches as you close your eyes and somehow with your glowing hands draw him back to consciousness. He turned on his side and proceeded to cough out the water that he had swallowed. His voice gruff and weary. Steve pats his back and they look at one another, relieved.

“…Y/N…”

“Bucky, I’m so sorry…” She had tears come down and mixing with the water on her cheeks. “I wasn’t strong enough…I’m so sorry…”

He knew she didn’t mean the lake. Bucky pulled her closer, laying over the pulsing rings facing the sky. She drapes herself over him. He felt at peace but was well aware that they had just barely escaped drowning at the bottom of the lake.

He watched a single bird fly over them, soaring through the sky. He followed it as Y/N lay on his chest, quietly crying. Steve catching his breath, looking over them. The bird caught up with the rest of its flock, shaping a V in the sky. He watched the formation fly into the distance and finally spoke.

“It’s not your fault.”

He repeated himself, so you would never forget. Never blame yourself for what was out of your control.

Because we’re free, and no one, no one in this universe will ever take you away from me.

I love you Y/N.

————

You sat in that white room, your hand running over your large belly. It was quiet, a low hum of the air pushed through the vents above and rushed footsteps outside. The spooked doctor from before enters your room. You were relieving your memory but it was different this time.

“Sirena. Please stand up.”

A male voice asked. It was strange, no one in HYDRA ever asked you nicely. Who was this man? Your mind drawing a blank.

“Sirena.” He whispered harshly. “We have to go.”

You stood up with his help. Your belly heavy and protruding. You instinctively placed your hands on it as if it was enough to protect the child inside. The young man was the scientist from before. Somehow you knew this man meant to protect you and the baby. You knew he was up to something. You looked at him expectantly.

“Please, Sirena. Follow me. I’m going to get your baby out of here…”

You followed him out and into the long hallways. And outside the building through a back door. He hurried you into a van parked so close to the exit, you practically stepped into it. Other men and a woman waiting for you inside. They all wore white, scientists and doctors, you thought. You didn’t know why you were so comfortable with them, but you smiled at them anyway. They drove you to another place. It was strange how they seemed to have everything prepared. You willingly followed their instruction.

“It’s for your baby’s well being. Please trust us. The head scientist doesn’t know what we are doing…”

The young male told you. He wanted to reassure you, make sure you were comfortable during the delivery.

“We are going to induce labor. Sirena, please let us know if you feel too much pain. We’ll help you deliver your healthy baby boy...”

Everything felt rushed, but they guided you to a large room and a comfortable bed. They placed an IV on your arm and gave you pillow to lean back on. Once the contractions started you felt some pain, but it was distant. Lost in the chemicals they had injected you with.

When the time came, your sweat sticking your hair to your forehead. Your hands gripping the hand rails. Breathy cries as you pushed with all your might. The pains coming in waves, pressuring your hips to open and push. You felt a heat between your legs, burning as you gave one last push. You saw the doctor lift your newborn up.

“It’s a boy!”

Cleaning him and wrapping him up. You felt your head spin and held your breath until you they to handed him to you. It was then that he cried, a small raspy cry. It brought tears to your eyes. You only saw him, nothing else mattered at the moment. You wanted this moment to last forever, you didn’t know how much time you had with him. You held him tight against you. A thought creeping in that you wouldn’t see his little peaceful face if you let your guard down. Tears ran down as you glanced up to the room.

“Please, I need more time with him…” You begged at the scientist standing next to you. His arms open as if waiting for youth hand your newborn. A fear that he would run away with him as soon as you let your baby go.

“Sirena. You don’t have much time. Give me the child….I will make sure he will be raised right…He will be safe with me…”

“But HYDRA!—“

“HYDRA will not know. I promise you. I promise that he will be safe. Give him to me, I will tell your handlers that he was stillborn.”

You cried, pressing kisses all over his tiny face. Trying to memorize his little features, soundly asleep. Unaware of the terrors of the world. His scent, his incredibly soft skin. His tiny hands and even tinier nails. He momentarily opened his little eyes, and you saw they were a light grey. He will have his father’s eyes.

“How can I trust you?” You managed out in a wavering whisper.

He hesitated, “I know you don’t trust me, but please…you’ll see…he’s going to be safe with me…I will raise him myself…HYDRA will never get their hands on him…”

You shook your head, “Take me with you, please! He needs my breastmilk. He needs me. I can’t just give him to you!”

You held onto the warm bundle closer to your chest. He said nothing as he watched you try to feed your newborn. But he was asleep and did not take the nipple. You shook your head, and placed kisses all over his little hands and head. Whispering loving words at him.

“Your father would have been so proud…moya lyubov….moya kroshka…moy rebenok…’”

“I’m sorry Sirena… I promise you…no harm will ever come to him…”

The scientist whispered, nodding to the nurse on the other side of your bed. She injects your I.V. with a clear liquid. Instantly making you heavy, sleepy and you couldn’t react, or fight as he took your baby from your arms. His little voice crying for his mothers warmth. The sound filling your ears. A sound that would haunt you forever.

No, you thought. No.

———

Your eyes burst open, but you freeze. You took several breaths to calm your rapid heart beat. You search

The room around you. Your breathing is loud in the quiet and dark room. You sit up and look down, a strange feeling between your legs. Hot, slippery and a strong odor that makes your stomach hurt. You panic and pull the sheets back. You let out a panicked scream. Placing a hand over your mouth.

Bucky quickly shoots up from his place next to you. He places a hand on your back and rubs so gently.

“Y/N? What’s going on? Nightmares again?“

He looks down in your lap, following your gaze. You hair sticking to your sweaty skin, but your face had lost all color. You didn’t know what to make of the blood between your legs. It had stained your panties and onto the clean sheets. It brings bad memories and your eyes tear up.

“Shh, doll…Y/N, don’t worry Steve won’t fuss over this….It’s okay….”

Bucky began to stand and pull the sheets off the bed. And took your hands in his, he kneeled on the ground. His voice was nearly a whisper, gentle and low. He knew only you could hear it, thats all that mattered.

“Y/N. It’s okay, I’m here…. I’ll run a bath for you…We can talk about those nightmares later….yeah?”

You nodded and stood, feeling sticky, gross and filthy. You felt sick. Sick of everything. Bucky didn’t give up, after you both had almost drowned. You both decided to take things slow. Steve let both of you stay in his cabin, for as long as you needed. Bucky doting over you, caring for you. HIs gentleness never ceased to amaze you.

You slowly followed him to the restroom, striping of your stained clothing. Bucky running a bath, and gently guiding you into the tub. He then picked up the dirty clothes, took them along with the sheets and placed new ones. He had left the door open, watching his every move.

You sank your knees into the warm water, rubbing off the blood. You just couldn’t seem to clean it all off. You kept rubbing it, washing it off, adding soap and rubbing again. Your eyes closing up with tears, you couldn’t see your skin was irritated from rubbing so much.

You cried, like you have every day since you had that nightmare the first night a week ago. Deep down you knew that what Bucky had said had triggered something in you. You wondered how old he was now. If he was even alive, does he talk? What does his small voice sound like? What is his name? Where is he?

Why? Why wasn’t I strong enough to fight them off? I’m so sorry, baby….please forgive me….

You let the water run over you, as you cried silently, hoping Bucky wouldn’t see you. It had been almost a week. Everyday Steve would come by and check up on both of you. Today she didn’t know how to ask if he could bring her more clothing and feminine products. These thoughts helped her distract herself from the horrors. The nightmares that began to reveal more little by little every time.

“We have to find him…” you whisper to yourself. Letting the rings expand and dissipate into the air around you. You close your eyes. Tears running down as you sing your lullaby, what your baby would have heard every night if he was born under different circumstances.

Memories flicker in your mind of his tiny features. Little fingers in tightly closed fists. His little button nose, and small rounded ears. He scrunches his face at the smell of your skin. Your baby stirs in your arms, but nestles against you. He smells like love, the world around you melts away at the sight of him.

“Bucky!” You yell for him.

“Bucky!”

Your tears don’t stop when he runs in and pulls you into his arms. Embracing you, not caring if you splash his clothes. He shushes you, tries to calm you by brushing his hand over your hair. You cry, and gasp, the sounds resonating in the small bathroom.

“Bucky! We have to find him!”

————

1 Year Later

Steve and Sam stood outside. Overseeing the road leading up the compound.

“You think they will be okay?” Sam asked him, his arms crossed, contemplating what they were going to tell them. Steve shook his head, before he could answer he looked up at the sound of a motorcycle.

Bucky slowed as he saw them waiting for their arrival.

Y/N stepped off the bike followed by Bucky. They removed their helmets, her eyes looked tired. But she smiled at them and gave Sam a hug. She then embraced Steve and held on, “Hey.”

“Hey.” Steve said, letting her go and embracing Bucky. She watched them greet each other, they had been gone for several months chasing cold leads. Every time they came home, they looked exhausted. Their fallen faces letting them know that they came back empty handed.

Once inside, ushered by Steve to the common room, they sit on the soft sofas. Long after the warm welcomes for all of their friends. Steve gathered them along with Sam. Y/N leans into Bucky’s side, he wraps his arm around her. Their thoughts distant, they sigh almost in unison. You smile up at him sending him warming tingles. His vibranium arm pulls you closer, plates shifting as if to relax to her touch.

Steve and Sam sits across from you and Bucky. They had brought them coffee and cookies to welcome them back. Steve’s warm smile fades and begins. He rubs his hands together.

“I know you two have been through a lot…And I understand that your priority these past months is finding and bringing back your child home…”

Y/N looks away, not wanting to talk about him just yet. Bucky interrupts him sensing her discomfort. His shoulders drop, bringing his hands together and leaning over his knees.

“Steve. Every time we think we have a lead…It just leads to despair and disappointment…” He hesitates and holds her closer. Tears building up in both their eyes. As if all hope was lost.

“We haven’t rested since she had that nightmare that began the search….But we can’t keep breaking our hearts over and over….We’ve decided to stop looking for him…”

Steve looks at Sam and then at them before continuing. You shift in your seat watching them exchange looks. You were tired but not enough to notice their small smiles. Sam nodded to Steve.

“What are you too planning?”

“I don’t think one more lead would make a difference?”

“What do you mean?” Bucky perked up a bit, bringing the coffee to his lips. Breathing in the strong aroma. He could tell Steve couldn’t contain his excitement. He thought he would lecture them for giving up after a whole year.

“Buck, Y/N. We found something you might be interested in. This lead is solid, theres DNA evidence Tony was able to collect. Sam checked it out already—“

“Well?! Spit it out! What are you saying?!” Bucky almost shot up if he weren’t holding his coffee, he placed it on the table instead. Y/N also tensed up when Steve said ‘DNA.’ Your heart started to race at the thought that they had found something. Steve raised his hands in defense and lets out a chuckle.

“We found him.”

—————

----

I’m not crying You’re Crying! -*bows* thank you!

Tags List:

@blueswedebeatbox @connors-requiem

@waywardkilljoy23 @bucky-to-my-barnes @chaoticangellover96 @la-valeriaa @cutiepiemimi13 @dangerouslychaoticstranger @klmpun @wipplog @loislp @loveyourdifferences @always-kneel-to-loki @misunderstood-sinner @yafriendlyfangirl @compli-cate-ed @ladyalexandranna

#MCU #Marvel MCU #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barns imagine #bucky barnes x you #series #aurajitsu #fanfic #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #the winter solider fanfiction #the winter solider x reader #the winter solider imagine

43 notes · View notes

many-gay-magpies · 3 years ago

Note

jino insufferable history class vampire UR SO RIGHT okay but we assume that they Have been in the world for a good while and if the orphanage let them have newspapers (according to webnovel *gags a little* they did have ~classes~ of some sort) the guys Might have some knowledge of things just through current events and stuff. which would be hilarious. i’m also starting to get a fun sense of the dark moon moral compass with jaan at one far end and jino and shion on the other. one end being cautious and paranoid and the other being “🤣🤣 fuck it !” and you know what i see it and i vibe

NOT THE SPIDER-WALK. POOR STUDENT WOULDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT HIT THEM THEG PROBABLY WOULDNT EVEN RECOGNIZE IT AS JINO AND JUST TEAR OUTTA THERE LIKE A BAT OUTTA HELL. but hey at least it adds to the school urban legend of fuckin Monsters enforcing curfew?

GREAT WE’RE BOTH CRYING OVER NOA NOW GOOD TO KNOW

no yeah sooha would be a great foil to solon especially since being immortal/with your brothers for centuries is kind of . a static way to live. they probably have this mentality of “this is how we are and how we’ve always been and how we always will be” because of their immortality and experiences. sooha shows them they can still Change and they don’t have to stay static forever. being immortal doesn’t mean you can’t still grow along the way

- vrvr anon

honestly i Love the concept of immortals using their age/immortality to be like "smh yall are teaching it wrong believe me i was THERE" whether or not they ACTUALLY know the truth lmao. or just immortals using their immortality to fuck around in general.

NOT THE GAGGING HSFJGDJHFJ but yeah-- and now the thought of the orphanage giving them newspapers and such to keep up with current events and keep up the illusion of normalcy in the orphanage ALSO makes me think. well the vampires probably have a few possessions theyve collected over the years that are priceless antiques now just because of how old they are. like imagine they happen across an appraiser or a historian or something and they just LOSE IT because "holy shit that watch is worth hundreds of dollars i havent seen one like that in so long where did you get it?!?!" and jino just has to he like "HAHA I GOT IT FROM MY GRANDFATHER,,," even though he knows FULL WELL he bought and/or pickpocketed it from someone himself some time in the mid-eighteenth century.

also you know that thing with vampires going to museums and finding belongings of theres? imagine the guys going to a museum and seeing, like, an entire exhibit made out of the salvaged remains of one of their hideouts from the 1940s. they're all yelling at each other (telepathically, because revealing that you're immortal in a public setting where anyone can hear is probably not the best idea) "HEY WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS MY JOURNAL WHY DID Y- oh thank god it was burned in a fire when they found it" "your journal?!? bitch they have the fucking sKETCHES I DID OF THAT ONE RANDOM HOT GUY FROM THAT CAFE IN 1934, THEY CAUGHT ME BEING A CREEP IN 4K--" "is that my tOOTHBRUSH are you ACTUALLY kidding me--" "THATS where i left that necktie!" the possibilities are endless lmao.

yeah the moral compass-- jino and shion are definitely on the "🤣🤣 fuck it" side of the spectrum, while jaan, solon, and maybe jakah are more on the cautious/paranoid side. heli i feel like is kind of in the middle, where he's constantly some level of worried about them being found out and tracked by the orphanage, but he also likes to see his brothers have fun and doesn't see the harm in a few shenanigans here and there.

YEAH LMAO. and now im just picturing the decelis faculty watching all these reports of nightmare-inducing school cryptids roll in like "how much is too much,,,"

GOTTA LOVE SOME GOOD NOA-INDUCED TEARS.

okay but honestly speaking i have a Lot of feelings about how immortality changes the way people (or... NOT-people, as the case may be) exist and change and view themselves. living for that long, especially if you stay disconnected from the rest of humanity like the vampires evidently have been, probably makes you pretty detached from reality—it can create an "us" vs "them" mentality of sorts; the mortals, with their short, fleeting lives where everything goes so fast and they're constantly changing to keep up with it, and then us, the immortals, who have all the time in the world, so why shouldn't we take it? it seems like it would be easy for the vampires to become stagnant, like you said; convinced that their minds have been frozen in time along with their bodies. with no one to form connections with outside of each other, they just repeat what they've always done, forgetting that CHANGE is even possible for them. but sooha is mortal; even though she's like them, she's still growing and changing every day, and maybe being around her can teach them that they still can, too.

#asks #anon 📝#vrvr anon #dark moon universe #dark moon nonsense

1 note · View note

writings-andstuff · 8 years ago

Text

Coincidences Part II (Bucky x Reader)

You guys have waited way too long for this and for that I’m sorry. But here it is, so I won’t start it with my usual long-winded preamble.

Happy Reading!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Modern AU thingy)

Words: 5046 (yikes, that’s the longest fic I’ve ever written)

Warnings: The usual tiny bit of swearing

Excerpt: For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely.

Series Tags: @melanie451 @sebstanwassup @colagirl5 @winenighthoe @lovemarvelousfics @gotnotfeature @sebastianst-n @alwayshave-faith @hollycornish @iggytheboywonder

Tags: @langinator @fairchild21

Your name: submit What is this?

New Message from Mr. Catarcs

3:42 a.m u up?

You blink your eyes blearily and shift in bed. The sheet is wrapped around your legs like sweaty vines, constricting your movement. You growl angrily and throw them off, sitting up and relishing in the cool air of your apartment. Despite the frigid cold outside, you somehow still manage to wake up sweating. Maybe you’re a mutant.

Glancing over at your phone, it dings again to impatiently let you know that you still haven’t opened the text that woke you up. Usually your phone is switched to silent because of your job at the diner. There are always so many phones going off that it’s almost impossible to tell which is which. It’s just easier having your phone on silent because then you’re never worried about whether your phone is ringing or if it’s someone else’s. It saves you a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

But ever since last night’s conversation with James, you decided that you wanted to hear your phone ring with a text. It’s the first time in your life that you don’t want to miss a text.

You pick up the offending piece technology and swipe it open. Sure enough, the text is from James and you grin despite the fact that this message is the same one that woke you at—you squint at your alarm clock—3:49 a.m.

Deciding you are both thirsty and in need of some time in the open air of your apartment and not under the suffocating sheets, you get up and stretch. The floors are cold as you pad to the kitchen and fill a glass with water, shooting a text back to James.

3:51 a.m I am now

You wait for an answer while downing your glass of water and putting the empty glass in the sink again. Maybe he fell back asleep when you didn’t answer right away.

For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely.

You have no proof of this, and absolutely no reason to believe he isn’t a creep except for a gut feeling. You resolve to ask his age whenever he decides to answer you.

You think about that. He could lie to you and tell you that he’s 20 when he’s really a lot older than that. The only way you’d truly know is if you meet him in person.

Suddenly you’re a little dizzy. This is just way too much to worry about at four a.m. You decide to just talk to him. You genuinely like his personality, and you don’t have to worry about all that other stuff until you actually meet him. If you actually meet him. That’s a big, neon-colored, flashing sign in the middle of absolute nowhere if.

Your phone dings and you look over from where you’re clutching the counter. You don’t notice how hard you were gripping the counter until you pull your palms away and it stings, lines etching themselves across your palm.

4:03 a.m srry didnt mean to wake u

Before you can even formulate a response, he’s texting you again. A double text. Gasp.

4:04 a.m just couldnt sleep. i was wondring if u wanted to talk

You tilt your head at your screen. He’s up in the middle of the night, and the first thing he does is text you? Why? Does he not have other people he can talk to? A stupid part of you, the same part that wants to meet him in person, thinks that maybe it’s because he wants to talk to you.

Maybe he does. Probably not. It’s too much to hope for. All his other friends are probably asleep. Regardless, not answering is not an option. Well, it is, but it’s not one you’re likely to explore, not when your chest has those freaky bubbles in it and your stomach is doing that stupid flippy-thingy. Nope. This, you decide, feels like High School when a cute boy texted you first and the instinct to giggle shot up to level 12.

4:06 a.m alright. what about?

Capitals, Y/N. What the hell happened to capitals?

You take your phone and pad back into your room, perching yourself up against the headboard with your knees drawn up to your chest and your phone in your hands as you wait for a response. Worrying your bottom lip, your mind drifts to work. You’ll have to get up in about three hours to be at work on time. Man, you’re going to be tired.

It’s then that your phone dings. You decide then that talking to him makes it worth the fatigue.

4:11 a.m twenty questions?

4:11 a.m Fine, but since you woke me up you have to go first.

The three dots that mean he’s typing pop up three different times before the response finally comes through.

4:15 a.m whatd u go to school 4?

You laugh.

4:15 a.m getting down to the nitty gritty personal stuff I see

You think for a moment. Telling him what you do isn’t divulging too much about yourself, so you decide it’s okay.

4:16 a.m lol yup thats me. i want the deep personal stuff. might just ask what ur fav color is nxt

4:16 a.m 1. editing; 2. sorry, that’s sacred info

4:17 a.m 1 ah i understand y ur a grammar nazi now…2 obviously

Thinking for a moment, you decide that favorites are just too cliche. Any conversation anyone has with some new friend ends in questions that start with “What’s your favorite…” You really want to know how old he is, but you figure you need an ice breaker before you get to the actual nitty gritty.

First, though, you must take the bait to piss him off:

4:19 a.m What would you have done if I hadn’t gone to college?

With a yawn, you lie back down and curl on your side, sitting your phone on the nightstand in front of you with your eyes glued to it. Once you realize that staring at it isn’t going to make him type faster, you turn over.

You’re totally not too eager. There’s no—

Ding!

You flip over so fast that you rip the sheet from the other side of the bed and end up with half of it between your stomach and the bed. It pulls from the bottom corner of the bed and is slightly uncomfortable, but you don’t care.

4:22 a.m high school?

4:23 a.m I didn’t go to high school FOR anything

You’re not sure if the use of caps-lock is weird, but you send it off anyways, deciding that emphasis on that one word is crucial to your meaning. He replies within seconds.

4:23 a.m i mean dunno bout u but i went to learn

You laugh, probably louder than is necessary.

4:24 a.m Touche. What’d you go to school for?

4:26 a.m repeating questions isnt alowed

Frowning, you wonder if he actually didn’t go to college. Should you push it? Maybe you should just change the question. There’s a part of you, the curious part that wanted to be a reporter when you were young, that really wants to know.

There isn’t too much time for you to think all of that before he’s texting you again. Usually, you’re the one to mercilessly double-text. James, it would seem, has you beat in this department. Also, you didn’t want to double-text a complete stranger.

Before you even look at the text, it hits you again: this is a complete stranger. The thought of not answering enters your mind again, but you push it down. No harm in just talking if neither of you meet, right? Right?

Right.

4:27 a.m i joined the military right out of HS

It’s a real Oh moment, and you find yourself staring at your screen as if it’s a real person. The military? What are you supposed to say to that? What’s the protocol for a text that you’re not sure how to answer? Should you just leave it alone? No; if you leave it alone then he’ll think he freaked you out. He hasn’t. Your brain is just short-circuiting on an answer.

Should you think him for his service? No. Not yet. You don’t want to call too much attention to it in case he doesn’t want to talk about it or he’s had bad experiences, but you’re still not sure how to respond. Have you taken too long already?

You summon up some courage and type out a message.

4:31 a.m Oh wow. Well, what would you have studied if you had gone?

You cringe, totally not meaning for that to sound like you were completely skipping over the issue altogether. James doesn’t seem to mind though, if his response is any indication.

4:32 a.m hmm history i think. ive always liked ww2 4 some reason

4:33 a.m well you’ve got AP european history girl right here. 1 of only 11 in the whole senior class to take it.

4:34 a.m well, smartypants i get 2 q’s bc u asked 2

You feel that you handled that effectively, and you were already beginning to formulate a plan in your head while he thought about his questions.

See, you know next to nothing about the military or what it’s all about except that it is for valiant people who want to serve their country. You can respect that, but you want—nay, need—to learn more. Convincing yourself that it’s purely for research purposes and not for anything else.

Regardless, you need to know more. It’s probably better to get it from someone who has been through it rather than from some cold, impersonal online source. And besides, you just so happen to know someone who was in the military. Someone who, in fact, lost a limb in the line of duty: Bucky Barnes.

As far as you know, Bucky lost his left arm in the military. You’d asked him before how he lost it and he hadn’t answered you, opting instead to change the subject to Steve and his new (at the time) art studio. It had been suspicious, but you understand that it must not be easy to speak about something like that.

You’ll have to go talk to Steve tomorrow morning to get Bucky’s number, but you think that maybe you’ll treat him to lunch in exchange for him giving you some details about the whole military thing. At the company, you get an hour off for lunch, which is just enough time to go out, interrogate a friend (respectfully, of course), and head back before the hour is up.

The plan was formed and you had your head already set on it. By the time James’ reply comes in, you’ve tuckered yourself out thinking that whole plan out. It is really late—er, early—after all.

4:41 a.m 1 how was ur day 2 how r u likely to spend a friday night

4:43 a.m I feel like I’m taking a Buzzfeed quiz

You yawn again and type out your answers.

4:44 a.m my day’s just begun. it’s four a.m. And probably reading or something

You put your phone down, thinking that you’ll just leave it there and wait for his reply, but you end up turning over and falling asleep.

In the morning, you turn your phone on silent again while you get ready for work, playing some music while you apply some light make-up.

It turned out that James hadn’t answered you anyway, so you would have been up waiting for a text that wasn’t going to come. Good thing you passed out.

Glancing at the clock, you notice that it’s 7:02 a.m and that Steve should be up. You don’t have to be at work until 8 and it’s not a long bus ride to get to work so you figure you can spare half an hour to haggle your best friend into giving up Bucky’s phone number. You wonder why you haven’t thought to get it sooner, figuring that you just never needed it.

You and Bucky only ever hung out with Steve or the rest of the gang. He was a friend of yours, but the two of you had never been too close in the two years of knowing each other. That said, you had heard a lot about each other even before meeting from Steve, and Bucky had expressed in the past how annoying he found it when Steve was constantly mentioning you in casual conversation.

It was the same with Bucky for you. Steve had been talking about his best friend Bucky ever since you had met him. It was in that way that you and Bucky had gotten to know each other sort of inadvertently.

Heading out the door and across the hall, you knock on Steve’s door lightly a few times. He’s a light sleeper anyways, and you don’t want to wake the whole hall with loud knocking. You only opt for knocking this time in case he’s not decent or something. Otherwise, you would have used your key.

Sure enough, Steve answers the door within a few minutes, clad in flannel pajama pants, a white V-neck, and holding a steaming cup of coffee. It smells amazing, and you realize then that in your rush you’d forgotten to make yourself some.

“Got another one of those and half an hour?”

Steve raises an eyebrow but steps aside to let you in. He’s a morning person, so you were sure on your way over here that you wouldn’t receive any resistance.

“What do you need?” he asks you, pouring you a cup of coffee not unlike how he’d done it the night before. He pours in a generous amount of milk and some sugar before stirring it and handing it to you, just the way you like it.

Blow, sip—“Mm,” you hum. “I need Bucky’s phone number.” You say it as nonchalantly as you can manage so as not to raise any flags to Steve, but by his surprised expression you can tell that you’ve raised them all.

“Bucky? Why?”

You shrug like it’s no big deal. “He has some info that I need.” It sounds so covert and cheesy that you almost giggle, but you manage to keep your composure while sipping your coffee again.

Steve tilts his head to the side almost imperceptibly, leaning his back against the counter across from you as you sit at a stool by his island. Said island juts out from a wall to half-enclose the kitchen area like a wrap-around ‘J’ with the island as the tail.

After a few moments of silence, it becomes clear that Steve is waiting for you to elaborate, and when you don’t indulge, he sighs, setting his cup down and crossing his arms.

“Okay, but don’t call him now,” Steve says, already ruffling in a drawer for a pen and paper. “He—he has trouble sleeping, and he needs as much of it as he can get before he has to work. And he’s taking Friday off so he has to log in more hours to make up the difference.” Steve hands you a piece of paper with numbers scribbled on it.

“Got it,” you said, taking the paper and sticking it in your bag. “Thanks, Steve.”

“Yeah,” he smiles at you. “No problem.”

You stand and head to the door, plan in motion and feeling good about it. Then you remember something and turn as you’re walking toward the door.

“Steve?”

He lifts his head from where he’s still standing in the kitchen sipping his coffee. You realize you’ve left yours there, but decide that it’s okay. You’ll survive. Somehow.

“Yeah?”

“Mom is bringing over pasta around two, but I won’t be home,” you can already see his eyes lighting up. “I told her to make extra and that you should be back by then. Can you—”

“—keep it here until you get home?” He knows you so well, it’s scary. “Yeah, but don’t expect me not to try some of it first.”

You fix him with a warning finger. “I’ll be over at seven and I will expect there to be enough for dinner and lunch tomorrow.”

He holds his hands up. “Hey, we all know my metabolism requires a lot of calories per day, and two is just in time for a late lunch.”

“Steve,” you warn.

“Alright,” he laughs. “I’ll leave some of your mother’s pasta for you for dinner.”

“That’s all I ask.”

You walk back over, kiss his cheek, take one more sip of your coffee, and then leave.

You tap your foot on the ground impatiently as you wait at your desk for the clock to turn from 11:29 to 11:30 so you can head for a bathroom break to call Bucky and find out if he’s busy for lunch.

James hadn’t texted you all day, but you figure that’s okay. He doesn’t always have to text you. He has a life. You push him mostly out of your head, or you try to. You fail miserably.

He’s the reason you’re meeting with Bucky anyways. As much as you don’t want to admit it, that’s the truth. Of course, you can’t tell Bucky that. You’ll just sound stupid. And then Bucky will tell Steve and Steve will have some sort of “talking to strangers is bad” intervention with you. You definitely don’t want to endure that.

11:30 hits and it’s officially been half an hour since your actual bathroom break. You don’t want to call attention to yourself in the office that you share with a whole bunch of other people in too-tightly-packed cubicles. You grab the slip of paper Steve had given you and head to the elevator.

By the time you make it to the downstairs bathroom, you realize that you forgot your phone upstairs on your desk. Great. Now what are you going to do? If you go back up to get it, you’ll look suspicious. Of course, you shouldn’t really care what your coworkers think of you, but you do. Everybody says they don’t care about peer acceptance but most actually do.

It’s human nature.

You sigh angrily and look around. The lobby is all marble floors and a little shop where they sell overpriced snacks and drinks. There’s a desk to the left of the elevator bank with one woman sitting in a black wheelie chair making and taking phone calls.

Can you just ask her to borrow one of her phones? There’s an empty seat next to her. Maybe you can explain your situation and just ask this woman if you can borrow the phone.

The only thing is that you don’t know this woman. Your supers rented the office space with the endless rows of cubicles from the people who owned the building. This woman obviously works for the building management, and not for anyone you know.

You decide it’s better that she doesn’t know you. It’s less personal. You can call Bucky, discuss details, and be done with it.

You sidle over and lean on the high desk. Its polished marble top is so high that you have to lean over it a little to see the woman. She’s plump, with dark hair, blue eyes, and a squished face. She looks the opposite of friendly. She’s wearing a black headset that you realize is some sort of Bluetooth.

You wait until she is done speaking to talk to her.

“Um, hello?”

She doesn’t look at you for a moment, reaching up instinctively as if she thinks you’re in her headset before she realizes she’s speaking to a real person. She eyes you.

“What?”

You were right to guess she wasn’t very friendly.

“I was wondering if I could borrow your phone,” you say kindly. “I have to call someone and I accidentally left my phone upstairs.”

She looks bored and eyes you for another second before looking back at her computer screen. “Just go up and get it.”

“It’s urgent,” you lie. Man, this is going to be awkward after you make the call right in front of her and she finds out its personal.

She eyes you again. “You have five minutes.”

You smile at her. “I’ll only need three.”

You wait as she plops one of the black phones on top of the counter, and it’s so high that you have to go up on your tiptoes to see the number pad.

“Type extension 382 first, then the number.”

With that, she gets back to her work and you pull the phone from the receiver. You flatten the paper on the desk and do as she instructed.

You wonder if he’ll even pick up. This will be an unknown number to him, and you know that if it were you, you wouldn’t answer.

It rings three times before a familiar, gruff voice answers.

“Hello?”

“Bucky? It’s Y/N.”

He sounds surprised. “Y/N?” There’s a pause, a honking noise, and then he sounds as if he’s realized something. “Steve gave you my number.”

“Yeah,” you say. “I had to call you from a work phone, though.”

You catch the woman looking up at you briefly and can tell she’s annoyed that this is a personal call. You’re sure this call needs to be as short as you can possibly make it or else you’re afraid she’ll just cut it herself.

“Oh.”

“Listen, are you busy for lunch in, like, half an hour?”

Bucky thinks for a moment on the other line and the lady looks at you again, her gaze becoming more venomous. You’re pretty sure that once she looks at you a third time she’s going to end your call for you.

Just as you’re about to scold him for an answer, Bucky speaks up.

“Yeah, I’m—”

You feel bad, but you have to cut him off.

“Okay, great. Meet me at the Deli down the street from Steve’s studio at 12 sharp. My treat.”

Bucky chuckled on the other end. “Your treat? What do you need from me?”

You smile despite the situation. “Just your brain.”

“Sure you don’t want Banner or Stark for that one?”

“I’m sure,” the woman was giving you her last angry glare. You had to go. “See you then, Buck.”

“Looking forward to having my brain probed. Bye, Y/N.”

You hang up, thank the lady, and make your way back upstairs as fast as you can. 12:00 can’t come quick enough.

Bucky wonders what you want to talk to him about as he drives a company truck to the deli and parallel parks a couple blocks down. The flatbed of the truck is filled with mismatched pieces of junk, from broken computers to the plastic from the top of a printer. It’s all stuff that can be broken down and reprocessed at a plant.

The city is taking down an old building and putting a new office building up in its place. It’s Bucky’s job as the assistant to take all the not-so-useless junk and dispose of it somewhere where it can be reused.

He doesn’t have to be at the plant until two, and he finished loading everything up early, so he has about two hours or so to spare.

Walking into the Deli, he’s hit with a wave of merciful heat and he immediately pulls his coat off. The deli is small with few patrons a small line for take-out. One woman is sipping an iced coffee through a straw while she types madly on a computer. Two men are sitting at a table wearing yellow vests and eating huge subs. Bucky wonders if he would have ended up as one of them, working for the DPW if he hadn’t begun working with the demolition company.

It takes him barely a moment of looking around to find Y/N sitting in a corner flanked by two windows with an empty seat across from her. There’s a wrapped sandwich and a water sitting on the table in front of the other seat.

She’s smoothing out the wrapper of her own sandwich as if the creases in the paper wrapping are offending and should not be allowed to exist.

“Hey,” he says, walking over and taking a seat in front of her.

She looks up at him and smiles. “Hey,” she shoots back, and then nods to the sandwich. “Got you a BLT.”

Bucky’s suspicions are steadily growing. He pulls the paper from around the sandwich and lays it on the table as Y/N had done, though he couldn’t care less about the creases. He looks between the sandwich and the girl, eyeing both with the suspicion of someone who thinks he’s being played.

“What’s this about?” he asks.

She swallows and puts her sandwich down, looking like she’s about to ask him a ground-breaking, life-changing question. Her eyes quickly flick over to his arm and he’s suddenly very sure he knows what this is about.

But that’s strange. Yesterday—or really early this morning—he was talking to Y/M/N about him having been in the military. Now Y/N is eyeing his arm like she really wants to ask what happened but she doesn’t want to sound impolite.

Then there’s the fact that they’re both editors. That’s weird. And how Y/N reminds him of Y/M/N.

He’s an apopheniac, he has to be. He’s seeing coincidences where there really aren’t any. It’s his brain playing tricks on him. In truth, maybe he just wants this strange girl to be Y/N. Though, probably not. Then again, maybe this whole time he thought he was jealous of Y/N for being so close to Steve, he was really jealous of Steve for being so close to Y/N.

That thought derails him so fast that he doesn’t hear it when Y/N actually asks her question.

She lets out a breath as if it’s a load-off to finally ask him, and he’s struck with the realization that if he says he didn’t hear her, she probably won’t take it well. He waits for her to say something else, but when she doesn’t he takes a leap of faith based on her glance at his arm.

“You want to know how I lost my arm,” he says, rather than asks. If her expression of shock and discomfort is any indication, he’s screwed up.

Big time.

Shit.

“I mean,” she straightens in her chair. “I guess—it’s sorta part of it? Yeah.”

She sounds so lost and he feels so bad.

He still has no idea what her original question was though. ‘Part of it.’ His thoughts drift back to his earlier conversation with the girl he’s been talking to over text. The military. Could that be what Y/N wants to know about?

No, it’s just too weird. There’s no way. But he has to know.

“The military? You want to know about the military?”

She nods, looking slightly guilty. “Yeah,” he tries not to let his breath of relief show, “I—uh, fact-checking. I’m fact-checking an article.”

Bucky nods slowly, sandwich forgotten. She’s a terribly liar. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Sitting back as if she’s been punched in the gut, she blinks once, twice, three times—“I’m not lying.”

“Your body language gives you away.”

“Is that something you learned in the military?”

Bucky chuckles. “That’s something I learned from a whole lot of spy movies. Seriously, why do you want to know?”

She takes a bite of her sandwich and speaks around it. Altogether, not the most sexy, but that’s okay.

“Research,” she says slowly.

Bucky creases his eyebrows. “For?”

“For a project?”

“If you’re going to lie, at least lie with conviction,” Bucky says. “One of these days, I’m going to teach you how to lie the right way.”

Laughing, she pulls her chair in a little more and sits forward. The picture of seriousness, she says, “Alright, if I tell you, you need to promise me you won’t tell Steve.” She sounds reluctant to tell him at all. This must not have been her plan.

Bucky draws a cross over his heart with his index finger. “Cross my heart or hope to die.”

She shakes her head. “Gotta be stronger than that. You have to pinkie promise.”

He gasps dramatically. “Not a pinkie promise. This must really be serious.”

Reaching over, she swats his arm. “Buck, I’m serious.”

“Okay, okay,” he surrenders, holding up his pinkie. She links hers with his and he’s momentarily struck by how soft her skin is. Then it’s over. “Tell me.”

She steels herself, he can see it. Jeez, it must really be something serious or she wouldn’t be swearing him to secrecy using childish, yet efficient tactics. It strikes him that she tells Steve everything, same as him, so for her to say she doesn’t want him to know must mean it’s not necessarily something good.

He lets himself think for a moment that she might be about to confess that she’s the mystery girl he’s been texting. It’s much more likely, though, that she’s about to tell him she’s got feelings for Steve or something.

Steeling himself as well, he waits as she takes a deep breath.

“I may or may not—”

“You may,” he corrects. She glares at him.

“—have answered a text from a guy who was trying to text someone else—”

This is where Bucky stops listening and his internal monologue becomes one word:

Fuck.

111 notes · View notes

a-panda-reads-act-omega · 8 years ago

Text

ACT OMEGA PART 10

THE 26/10/16 UPDATE

WOOOOOOO DOUBLE FUCKIN DIGITS YO. This is fantastic. So last time we left off, Dirk and Jake were gay and dumb. Now we are getting into the most anticipated interaction yet, Rosejade. Listen you people, you have no. idea how much I ship Rosejade. It ship it a l o t . . . Oh man it’s really cute. BUT Um YEAH LETS READ IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jesus christ this is too cute. Jade is so fucking happy to see Rose aaaaa.

And Rose is just like “jesus jade dont knock me over”

ROSE: -Oof. JADE: nice to see you rose!!!

YES. YES it is.

Oh my god help its too cute. I love their droopy lil pajama sleeves, it really makes this so much better and im not sure why.

ROSE: (... Nice to see you too, Jade.) JADE: bark!

Goddammit. Ok its clear I have a problem here, Jade is too fucking cute.

Alright thank goodness, those cute detailed panels were a little too much for me. John’s creeping in the background, and Dave’s hanging out with Karkat. Jade doesn’t seem happy?

JADE: (oh my god im so sorry) JADE: (i cant believe i just did that!) JADE: (thats so embarrassing...)

Jade shut up it was cute.

ROSE: (No harm done.) ROSE: (It’s endearing, in a way.) ROSE: (Though perhaps the charm might simply be a patented Jade Harley trait.)

God, YES. Now Rose is complimenting her, and its probably in a platonic sense considering she has a girlfriend but JEEZ I ship it.

ok I hope my shipping of this doesn’t come off as annoying.

JADE: ..dawwww! :) ROSE: (But you might want to keep your voice down.) ROSE: (I’m not sure why it’s become so quiet, but I am perfectly willing to preserve this lull in activity.) ROSE: (Especially in order to sustain the pleasant conversation we’re currently having.)

Yes it is very pleasant. Very very.

JADE: oh ok! JADE: whoops JADE: (i mean) JADE: (ok) ROSE: (Now that our vocal chords have been successfully wrangled, we can get right into the thick of it.) ROSE: (It seemed like you had something to ask me when you approached.) JADE: (oh um yes i did!) JADE: (but im kind of unsure how to ask...) ROSE: (In moments like these, I think the best advice I can give is to say “fuck it”.) ROSE: (And do it anyway.) JADE: :o

great advice Rose. NOW Jade, what did you have to ask? It’s probably gonna be something extremely platonic and irrelevant to my ships, but you know what I can dream.

JADE: (well geez when you put it that way!) JADE: (heh...) ROSE: (Well?) JADE: (oh right yeah) JADE: (soooooo)

hrnK help

Oh. Right, it’s the Earth. So what did you need to ask then? What would Rose know about the Earth?

JADE: (i was wondering what you thought we should do about the earth!) JADE: (john said that taking care of it is supposed to be my responsibility) JADE: (and looking at it right now... isnt it a bit more uh) JADE: (watery, than it should be?)

Yeah, it is quite watery. this is the post-scratch earth I believe, so that would make sense. I think, at least. I never know with all this time shit.

ROSE: (It certainly looks that way. It's just another unfortunate consequence of the scratch.) ROSE: (Though I think it might be a slight improvement over the barren ball of basalt our earth became after that cataclysmic meteor shower.) ROSE: (We’ll just have to make do.) JADE: (so thats it then?) JADE: (we just) JADE: (give earth an orbit around a new star or something) JADE: (and find an island to live on?) ROSE: (That does seem a suitable course of action.) ROSE: (We might want to do something about all that ocean, though.) ROSE: (At the very least to make the planet somewhat more aesthetically pleasing. Sprinkle a few continents here and there, you know.) ROSE: (No offense, but one measly island will doubtless get boring after a while.) ROSE: (Let alone be capable of housing what will hopefully one day be a thriving multi-species civilization.)

Oh yeah, there’s gonna have to be a lot more land for all that LIFE. Do they have a way of making more land though? It’s probably not gonna be a problem, it’ll just be interesting to see how they do it I guess.

JADE: (hehehe!) JADE: (i guess youre right about that!) JADE: (although...) JADE: (i kind of wonder about all of our planets here in the medium) ROSE: (What about them?) JADE: (i went through all that trouble to bring them here, and now were just gonna leave them behind?) JADE: (why dont we bring them along?) JADE: (personally im a little attached! :P) ROSE: (Personally, I would rather not.) JADE: (aw) JADE: (well why?)

But Rooose, your land is so pretty! How would you just give that up?

ROSE: (They’re essentially just an overly grandiose and complicated puzzle designed for preteens, presented as personalized celestial bodies.) ROSE: (Some of them even have giant snakes inside them. Ew.) JADE: (pfffft)

pfffft. Those snakes were awesome. And even if they are just a puzzle, that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate what they are aesthetically! I mean, come on Rose. You gotta stop resenting things for what they’re supposed to be!

JADE: (wow rose i sure did miss you a whole lot)

JADE: (you always have such a smart and funny way of putting things!) JADE: (but will the denizens really still be there if we take them with us?) ROSE: (It was a joke, Jade. One of the many that I dole out on a regular basis, as the shrewd yet whimsical person you say I am.) ROSE: (They’ll likely vanish once we exit the game for good, whether we bring them through to the new universe or not.) ROSE: (They’re game constructs. I can’t see them serving much purpose past the end credits, so to speak.)

Wellll, I don’t know about that! I mean, yeah, they are game constructs and all. But like all the consorts, I think it’s safe to say they’re sentient as well! Sooo... Hm. Why would Jade’s Denizen have wanted her to take them all in the first place? I mean, to save them from Jack I suppose, but what’s the point if they would die from the big “your winner” screen at the end anyways?

JADE: (oh... well that makes me wonder) JADE: (what about the sprites? theyre game constructs too right?) ROSE: (That is a decent point.)

That IS a decent point. I dont wanna lose Jasprose or Davepeta.

Also. Has anybody wondered if there could be a Jasprovepeta^3? Because THAT, would be pretty great.

ROSE: (The kernels, at the very least, are absolutely nothing more than game constructs. They are a core mechanic of the game in their relationship with the maturity of the battlefield and the power of the black and white monarchs, and they don’t even have consciousness.) ROSE: (The sprites, however... well.) ROSE: (I’m not sure.) ROSE: (It’s highly likely they’ll be able to continue existing indefinitely, all things considered.) ROSE: (Though ultimately, it’s up to them whether they’d like to take a stab at life beyond Sburb.)

Well I dont see why they wouldn’t! Aside from maybe Erisol.

Pfft

ROSE: (Hopefully at least ONE of them will remain here.) ROSE: (Far, far away.) ROSE: (Never to be seen again.) ROSE: (Or be mourned.) ROSE: (At all.) ROSE: (Ever.) JADE: (um???) ROSE: (Nevermind that.)

NO dammit, Jasprose cannot stay behind. She needs to continue to exist and be part of this story because she’s greAT! Though she did say she was no longer interested...

JADE: (okay well) JADE: (im still kind of unsure about all this...) ROSE: (We’ll figure it out, Jade. There’s really not much to worry over.) JADE: (well... what about uh) JADE: (repopulation?) ROSE: (Like I said. We’ll figure it out.) ROSE: (Some ectobiology will likely be involved.) ROSE: (Which we will all be able to discuss as a group when the time comes.) ROSE: (Rather than right this second.)

Something wrong Rose? You’re kinda seeming a little impatient.

JADE: (um...) JADE: (rose, im sorry, i dont mean to make you mad)

Oh, Jade noticed too

ROSE: (I’m not mad.) JADE: (you seem a little mad!) ROSE: (*sigh*)

Out with it, Rose. Tell us what’s going on in that brain of yours.

JADE: (i just really want make sure i do my job right) JADE: (im supposed to make sure we all have a proper place to live!!) ROSE: (You’ll do just fine, Jade. You’ve always done your best at every task you’ve tackled, and what small miracles you can accomplish with hardly any effort are a reflection of how truly capable you are. We all have faith in you.)

Oh jeez.. Is it just me, or is Rose kinda seeming resentful towards Jade’s achievements. I hope that’s not the case.

JADE: (thanks, but...) JADE: (is everything okay?) JADE: (you dont sound all that enthusiastic) JADE: (did i do something wrong?) ROSE: (No, no.) ROSE: (This is all me.)

Come on rooose, tell us

ROSE: (I missed you Jade, I really did. But seeing you again now brings back unpleasant memories.) JADE: (oh) JADE: (you mean like your mom...?) ROSE: (Less the incident itself and more the horrifically immature child I behaved like back then.) ROSE: (Never was my childishness more apparent than with how I treated you.) JADE: (what! what do you mean?)

Hmm... thinking back at it, Rose sort of did treat Jade as just this object of mystery. Dave was always suspicious of her too, but Rose was seemingly always trying to point out when Jade said something that didn’t add up.

ROSE: (I was never a very good friend to you, Jade.) ROSE: (There were, and perhaps still are, some things about you that made me feel...) ROSE: (Insecure.)

Hmmm again.. I could understand insecurities in the past, but now Rose is practically on the same level as Jade. Is it a personality thing? because that doesn’t seem likely.

ROSE: (And, well. I was very petty, and allowed myself to wallow in jealousy while shoehorning you into another of my many imagined rivalries.)

Oh, damn. I guess I should have suspected something like that, considering how competitive Rose really can be when it comes to just about anything.

JADE: (you were jealous?) JADE: (of me???) ROSE: (You were bubbly and cheerful. Genuinely likeable, unlike me. Legitimately smart, where I more often than not felt the need to pad my intellect with random facts I learned on the internet. You had a multitude of talents and seemed to be able to do almost anything with hardly any effort.) ROSE: (Not to mention, I was under the impression you could see the future.)

DammIT, this is a large part of the reason I wanted them to interact. there was so much misunderstanding between them before, and once Rose finally knew how Jade did the things she did, it just went.. unmentioned.

JADE: (oh yeah... ugh, i thought i was soooo smart :\) JADE: (just thinking about all those dumb vague hints i used to drop makes me cringe!!)

I mean, it’s not like you didn’t always do what was best for your friends. Come on! You gotta feel a little smug when you understand all of the complicated bullshit about sburb. Even though you didn’t, in the end. you still thought you did. Plus you were 13. Nowhere near as mature as you are now. Which I suppose can be said for everybody, really.

JADE: (i totally get it, rose. im really sorry!) ROSE: (Please, don’t be.) ROSE: (Without the haze of envy blotting my vision I can see you for the charming, likeable, caring girl you really are and always have been.)

AGh, dammit this is putting me back into shipping mode nO!

ROSE: (I’d like to think I’ve done at least SOME maturing over the last three years.) ROSE: (Now I’m the smug one with clairvoyance. My, how the tables have turned.) JADE: (welllll...) JADE: (you were always a LITTLE bit smug :P) ROSE: (Oh, only a little?) ROSE: (You flatterer.)

fuCKINg. KISS.

Ah, shit. thats the end of their interaction. NEXT UP, we goooot... Calliope and Jane! Sweet. And as it seems to be the pattern we are following, we get a sneak peek at their conversation in this update.

JANE: (Pssst!) JANE: (Callie!)

And that’s it. ALRiGHT, sNEAK PEEK OVER.

This was a really fun Rosejade conversation though. We got to learn more about how they felt about eachother in the past, and how those feelings have changed since. And not to mention, some plot details on the plans for the new Earth.

And since I still suck at ending these things, ten parts in, ill seeya next time. might be today again, whon knows. maybe ill go for 5 updates in one day.

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #ROSEJADE #ROSEJADE IS LIFE #HELP #act omega #HEELLP #ACT OMEGA Liveblog #aAAAA #hs act omega #DSAKkjdsan #hs act omega liveblog

1 note · View note

bethanigoodrum · 8 years ago

Text

If you were to ask me how I have been recently I honestly don't think I would know how to answer that.

Before I went to Pittsburgh I knew that my eating disorder was not exactly level 10 on the recovery scale but I thought I was doing alright. Sure, there were some days when I couldn't even handle looking in the mirror because a glimpse of my image sent my brain into self harm mode, and yeah sure, the thoughts of my thighs and stomach were not positive, but other than that I was fine, right? But then Pittsburgh happened and I was forced into seeing my eating disorder in all the raw reality that it is and I was forced to truly see my struggle as it is. Eating a full plate of breakfast was challenging. Eating a bag of microwave popcorn at 11pm when I had supplemented my meal plan for liquid calories the entire day was a challenge. Eating one noodle during thanksgiving dinner resulted in tears being shed. Eating meals at times my body wasn't used to proved to be almost impossible. And eating new foods sent my body into an instant panic attack. Everything about food threw me back to the panic and struggle of pretreatment meals. During the 4 months between treatment and thanksgiving I had given up on challenging myself, eating around others, and eating my full meal plan. So when pushed to eat the necessary calories my body went down screaming and kicking and refusing.

But I know now. I know that I have to put in more work in order to make up for setbacks. And since Pittsburgh I’ve made sure to eat, and to eat fully. I’ve challenged myself to eating my biggest fear food twice in one week. I had two desserts in the same day. And I made food a priority on days when I worked through the lunch hour instead of just skipping it when I had a free second to spare. So in that sense I’ve been doing really well. And I’m so incredibly proud of myself for my accomplishments this week in that area. I’ve also noticed that I’ve been feeling hungrier for food this week and a large part of me feels that I have been overeating (probably not though) and whenever I do feel hungry now my first thoughts are always how I can make the hunger stop and go away and how eating is dangerous when I am hungry, because again, what if I eat more than the minimum required?? But I’ve still been able to push those thoughts towards the back of my mind and eat. I’ll take that as an accomplishment.

So to answer the question that started this post- I’m okay. I’m making progress in recovery. Everything is going as well as to be hoped for.

But then there is the depression. It’s been getting progressively bad lately. I’ve been trying to not put a lot of thought into it because it scares me, but its getting to the point where it is demanding to be felt and given attention to. So here you go depression, this is your proof of acknowledgment. I feel you. For the past couple of days it has crept up as soon as the sun has set and has stayed with me through the night letting me know how pointless everything is. I’ve been doing my best to distract myself from the emptiness that embodies me and I have been able to thought challenge the haunting whispers of the futility of recovery and life in general. And in this sense this is a huge improvement from last year. Last year when I felt the emptiness creep in I gave myself fully to it. I let the thoughts run wild. Suicide? yep, lets go for it. Self harm? already got the tool ready to go lets do this. But now I’ve been pretty successful at stopping the thoughts and containing control on the emptiness. Most days I’ve even been able to feel it, and then expel it after a few hours. So much progress!!! I know how to put in the effort to have a relatively stable mood. But the thing is, that requires tremendously true effort. I have to be actively pushing away the longing to give up and give in to the depression every day. Last night I was awake until 1am just laying in bed filled with thoughts of to self harm or not to self harm. For hours I went back and forth almost teasing my self destructive brain before I was able to put a stop to it. A lot of the time it all just feels too much. Recovery is hard. My life feels almost listless. I just want to say fuck it all. I haven't really been able to talk to people about this when I feel this way though. I just don't know how to reach out because I worry that they will worry that I am on a spiral like how I was last year. If I tell someone I’m thinking about giving up they might ask me if they need to call the cops on me. I’m not like last year. I’m not actively wanting to die. But it’s still difficult to breathe through these moments of struggle and its even harder feeling like I can't allow myself to talk to people about it. I feel like I can only reach out if I’m actively in a crisis because thats all I was last year. I know I can trust my friends to react appropriately and supportively to the situation, but I just can't help worrying about their worry.

Another component that is contributing to the depression and all of these feelings is my job. I just really fucking hate it. I feel that one of the hardest things is that I spend 40 hours a week just standing and watching another person perform. It’s just so much time in my own head with little accomplishment of my own. I just got out of college, I want to see what I can do, I want to have something to perform at, but instead I just problem solve and observe. I also feel that it is an incredibly lonely job. I’m an introvert but at heart I love social interaction. But this job just doesn't allow what I crave. When I’m with Connie it is total silence and limited communication that is restricted to me pointing at the room we need to clean or showing her a hair she left in the tub. My other clients are also very limited with conversation due to cognitive impairments. I feel like I’m missing out on joking and having adult level conversations with others and it’s impacting me. I just don't have fulfilling social connections at work and when I go home its just me, myself, and I some more. And I think that when that is your life it is all just a bit emotionally draining and intense. I think I just need to be able to spend my time doing something exciting and fulfilling with the ability to interact with people who have the ability to interact with me. It’s an easy fix. I just need to get a new job. I just have to realize that loyalty is not healthy for me in this circumstance.

So with all of that said, am I doing alright? I’m eating, I’m fighting off the depression. But god do I fear for the worst (it’s all good though no worries)

0 notes

dajoezenone · 8 years ago

Text

REVIEW of The Devil Is A Part Timer! Vol 5 (novel)

I feel like I just posted my review of Vol 4 but I flew through this one I couldn’t put it down. Its hands down my favorite of all five volumes so far. Let me tell you why it is so good.

First off, its funny. The writing in this book makes fun of so much stuff. From cell phones to the death of TV in favor of the internet, to Pokemon, to anything else. The series always satirizes the life of the average Japanese person, but for whatever reason, this book does it in a way thats funnier than I think its ever done before, and its always relevant to the story and mixed in with humor making fun of the characters as well. Its perfect.

Second, I think this might be the most balanced book in terms of which characters get represented the most. Granted, the character that does get the MOST coverage is my favorite character, so of course I’d say that, but nobody feels extraneous or left out in this book. Other than Emeralda and Albert, of course. Eme shows up in a single conversation as always to drop some exposition and then never shows up again.

ANYWAYS though, without getting spoiler heavy (yet), there’s a lot more plot in this novel than usual. This book really gets back to the way the first book had a threat slowly creeping up throughout the duration of the story, not just for five minutes at the end. The climax is really long too. These books are always split into thirds, but the third act of this book seriously takes up about half of the pages. And those pages are filled too. There’s like 3 different twists and reveals that happen, plus multiple epic fight scenes. Its GRAND.

Overall, the writing is better. Smarter. More emotional. The illustrations are better. The epilogue is followed by bonus goodies again. Read it.

Okay SPOILER ALERT BEYOND THIS POINT.

The story picks up roughly where the last book left off, with the Devil and his cohorts moving back into Villa Rosa Sasazuka apartment 201.They discover that in addition to fixing the gaping hole Gabriel left in the wall back in Book 3, their landlord had an HDTV hookup installed. So now they can get TV channels. If they had a TV of course. Maou convinces Ashiya that they have room in the budget, and Suzuno decides to go with them and get one of their own. Ashiya invites Rika Suzuki, as he had previously asked her for help in the task of purchasing himself a cell phone (and to give her a souvenir he got her in Choshi during the previous book).

As the book progresses, they slowly discover a plot by Gabriel (returning after his unsuccessful attempt to take Alas Ramus and the Better Half from our heroes in book 3) and a less powerful, but higher ranking Angel whos name I cant remember for the life of me, to find the rogue Angel Lailah (Emi’s mother, also implied to be the angel who inadvertently started Maou on his quest, as well as gifted him with the Yesod fragment that eventually grew into Alas Ramus) so they can punish her for crimes against Heaven. In the process, they end up hurting Chiho, which of course provokes the ire of the Devil, the Hero, and their underpaid comrades in arms.

The first half of the book focuses a LOT on Alciel, which as I said in my last review, was something greatly needed, expected, and totally as good as I hoped it would be. He doesn’t exactly get much of a character arc, as he largely just goes from being totally unwilling to buy a TV, to getting one for as cheap as possible. But he gets development in other ways. In Vol 3, he seemed largely oblivious to Rika’s clear attraction to him, and his interactions with her seemed to largely just be because of his overly-polite personality. But, as their totally-not-a-date goes on, his politeness is revealed to have a bit of mutual feeling behind it, and he even tells her he may sometime tell her the truth about him and the others, something she doesn’t really question, as she never totally believed the story given to her anyways. Sadly, once the danger raises its head, she’s rushed out of harm’s way, and Ashiya stays largely quiet from that point on.

Maou, as always, is in the forefront, but at the same time kept mysterious. He mentions early on that a TV could be helpful in knowing what is going on in the world, and being able to predict and fight any Heavenly (or Demonic) things that come to threaten the Earth. And after the threat is resolved, mentions that its not like they’ll try the same thing again, so the TV is less useful now than it was. So, did he know they’d try to use the TVs in some way? Probably not, but its not beyond reason. As always, then, he treads the line between being a silly character, and being the most serious, as he can flippantly ask Rika if she likes Ashiya to her face, and can very earnestly out-debate Suzuno (who, reminder, is the closest thing Ente Isla has to a lawyer) when the two discuss whether or not Rika ought to be made aware of who and what they all really are.

She isn’t, by the way. I suppose we must wait for another book for that.

Emi and Suzuno, seemingly unaware that their fates were bound in with that of the Devil King a long long time ago, have learned, through Emeralda, that Ente Isla is now engulfed in a Civil War, which was seemingly instigated by Heaven, Olba, and the Demons that seek the Better Half at his suggestion. They decide that, at all costs, Maou must not be allowed to join in this war, as he would likely reuite the Demons, and crush the un-unified countries of Ente Isla, particularly because Emi is unable to join, as siding with any part of humanity over another wouldn’t be proper as the Hero. Hence, Suzuno continues her surveilance of the demons, now with the renewed purpose of making sure no Demons come with the intention of pulling their King into their war. Emi, assured that Eme and Suzuno are capable of the tasks before them, goes looking for her mother, unaware of the two Angels out doing the same thing...

Emi’s story is an emotional one, as it often is. Everything she knows is slowly crumbling around her, and as her mother is unable (or unwilling) to reveal herself and speak to her directly, and the other main characters all either preoccupied or still enemies in her mind, she is left only with Alas Ramus by her side to help her to understand what she must do and where she must go. I dont want to spoil specifics of Emi’s story in this book, but its very good. I didn’t cry as much as she did, maybe, but I at least teared up a bit.

Crestia Bell, meanwhile, has a lot more time in the limelight after last book forcing her to make sandcastles and do little else. She has slowly grown to be one of my favorite characters in the series. She’s far more multilayered than anyone else, with her background so steeped in religion and politics, combined with a fascination with Japanese culture, particularly the old pre-WW2 stuff, from when Japan was still traditional and religious itself. Plus, she really likes Udon for reasons nobody really understands. She’s funny, quirky, serious, and strong. And she gets a lot of time to show off all sides of herself in this book, and she manages to be awesome at every aspect of it, all with the calm serenity of a person of her religious station. There’s a reason she’s on the cover of this book. Heck, she’s more of the book’s standout character than Ashiya, I just was more happy about him getting focus so thats who I talked about more at first.

Hanzo Urushihara, after a surprising amount of character development in the previous novel, returns to heaven on earth (the inside of apartment 201 of Villa Rosa Sasazuka) with great enthusiasm. He too wants a TV, but obviously he isn’t going to go outside the apartment to get it, nor is he at all going to be helping pay for it, so he doesn’t help Maou convince Ashiya of its usefulness as that would not help the case. He instead stays home through much of the book. Gabriel stops by about halfway through, and they have a great interaction, where we get an inside look on exactly how Urushihara thinks, and how he justifies his existence to himself. While he seems unaware of it, he really has evolved as a character; He does a lot to help during the climax, and at one point expresses great pride in the work he was able to do at the Beach House in Choshi. Overall, he’s written much better now than he was prior to book 4 as well, as he still feels like a fusion or extension of the disparate parts of himself that seemed kinda incongruous in the first books. In fact, he’s more bad*ss now, humming “Amazing Grace” as he shoos one of the series’ primary villains out of his personal space, than he did menacingly levitating Chiho above Hatagaya in the first book.

I guess I should also talk about Gabriel, because he comes back, and he’s better now than he was. A nice effort is made to make him and the other Angel distinct characters, rather than Gabe feeling like a tamer, but more powerful version of Sariel like he did when he first showed up. He’s still not as good as Olba, or even Lucifer were as villains, but he’s still cool, and the threats he’s a part of feel really legitimate this time around, which is a really nice change of pace from both the previous books.

Finally, Chiho. At first, I was kind of dissappointed that her injury was basically keeping her from actually helping with the plot at all, despite being its whole inciting incident.

Without spoiling it, lets just say that uh, dont count Chiho out because she has a bigger role here than, like ever. I mean, she’s been damsel in distress, she’s inspired the others, and convinced Gabriel to delay his attack in Book 3. In this book, she basically saves the day.

How does it make any sense when she’s just a normal girl? Um read the book ya dummy.

#Devil #The Devil is a Part Timer!#anime #review #novel #book #goodreads

3 notes · View notes

oceangl1tter · 6 years ago

Text

hide in a clavicle

Past.

water://

Okay talking honestly without bullshit even though shit’s really cheesy and I’m writing this in the car as we drive to San Diego.

Going to the beach with / was a lot of fun. A lot of fun that I haven’t had in a long time. Actually, I think it’s the most fun I’ve had at the beach. We sit on this ledge peering out and I’m worrying about her mom somehow also being at the beach. I’m a bit paranoid. I sneak a quick kiss. It feels nice even though I got bit on the face by some bug and she got away scott-free (somehow). We go down to the beach and the waves and I chase her in the sand playing tag like we’re 5. She makes me laugh : _). Even though she’s running very hard she doesn’t go anywhere at all! Hahahaha. It’s the first time I’ve seen her express herself with her body and the space she occupies. I splosh mud on her feet and she does the same to me >:PP. We also pitch our shack/hut real estate to this random Asian lady with a nice hat on. She stares at it for a good minute or two and we’r ejust like ?? She then tells us for our real estate company that we need a name/business card people can identify us as. I can’t really tell if she’s actually serious or playing along with our joke. / also draws a maze with me!! She also spins in a circle with a stick with me. She rolls up her pants and gets in the water! It splashes her. It’s really cold! We race across the side of the waves. I wonder if other people can see us like this. What they think. How could anyone hate this? She listens to me rant about speech and debate. She tells me about high school. I lay on her lap. I forget about thinking about what others can see/can think. Now I’m a bit self-conscious being so close to her..but she pats my hair.

ears wet://

that day we sat

with nothing and everything to say i felt

the breaking begin to break

firsts://

a stone visitor

propped up with all its might

, toppled

by kids that still have

their eyes

intact

off the floor

i am careful to fill

the vase i placed in your heart

being imperfect together://

some research

-you like because and you love despite

-attraction is based on what you see, infatuation is based on what you feel, but real love is based on what you know.

eclipse, i didn’t lose it://

today i got really sad because i think i lost the white sparkly clip /// bought for me at jtown :( i also can't find my wallet :( i just lose so many fucking things i know she would flip if she found out and she already knows i have a tendency to be careless

dreams:// ———- There's a projection on the screen and my family is surrounding it showing a video of me standing on the edge of a pier walkway (the wooden ones that lead into a murky lake). There is a gap and then another plank of wood slightly off screen. I chant in a quirky sing-song voice: "I'm standing on the edge, I'm standing on the edge, I'm standing on the edge before I jump and do a sort of Ophelia pose into the water while singing and I fall into the lake. As we watch this video, my mom and sisters begin laughing. I'm laughing as well and I say that I could pee from the laughter.

---.

There are strange messages on napkins that only a child is able to decipher. The child is outside watching in on the party. An old man with a knife steals the child away. He comes in the room full of people and tries to stab my eye. I am short, small, maybe, and I push through people but no one seems to notice or stop him. I try to lose him through the crowd but he ends up catching me. I try to twist the wrist holding the knife but I'm scared of harming his wrist and breaking it. He scrapes my cheek with the knife and then

E and I uber home (in a linear fashion, I'm guessing from the party), another car is next to us. I tell them we could have just shared one to save money. I tell E to hurry up because the streets of Davis are getting more dangerous. I hurry into my house. My sister and aunt's car are here meaning they are home. The door is unlocked so I go in. My sister comes out of the room in the dining room as if half-asleep. I am upset and ask why she didn't lock the door. I get a text from ___ saying that M has a funny accent. I wonder how she knows what M sounds like. I figure it might be from the rap I linked her. I tell M and D and others that someone tried to stab at my eye. They say it doesn't even look like I was stabbed. They're right. I appear to have no bodily injuries. Someone tries to unlock the backdoor but they are strugggling. It feels as if the house is tipping over. Friends rush behind the couch. I tell them it must be my dad but I notice that his phone is home and is ringing. I try to lock the midsection door sectioning off the kitchen room and the living room we're in. It does not lock. I go back in my room to get my phone that I left after texting ___ and I hide behind the couch. I figured jumping this person with multiple people would be better than hiding and locking my room by myself.

I wake up and my right wrist is sore.

---.

In this one someone shoots an arrow and hits a baby I know is me. I feel like I trespassed some dream rule because I didn’t wake up before contact.

secret://

To be honest, I feel fundamentally unloved. When I'm next to you, I feel unloved. I feel the most unloved I've ever been. In the middle of the night, when you are asleep, small twitches touch my skin. I creep my hand into yours. I think you are asleep but you take it anyways. I think to myself, I think: Someone actually (...)

and shelter becomes a blister://

It's christmas and peak sad gorl hours. Where does the hurt go? I feel that this may be what loss feels like. I guess I have been feeling at a loss for a long period of time. I have nothing eloquent to say anymore. I feel hopeless yea feel like my eyes are really dry and my face is all droopy just feel down just feel sad real sad i comfort myself & hug myself & love myself i wihs ic ould hug /// but the separation might be too strong @ this point that maybe its not possible anymore she told me what i needed to hear anyway i didnt believe i really didnt until that call and my heart is tired of beating itself up and im tired of feeling like a slouch ev enthough its all very heavy i am trying my very best to be good and positive but i know it takes time to mend this for myself and i would have fought for it thorugh the ugliness but i am doing it alone now and i wont stop the fight but i wish she could have come along idk just feel kidn of bad im alone but thats ok bc im not rly alone even though i may feel like it there r many ppl that care for me i need to care for me too so that i feel cared for by the person that amtters the most which is myself! !! myself! me!! me!! mysefl!! care for me too ! i care for me ok time to sleep

#mystuff

0 notes