#because that fucking party scene lives in my head rent free

[izzy-b-hands]

"Ed, enough!"

He bites his lip. There's that tingle again.

In his distraction, he forgets to stop doing what he'd been at, solely to make Stede shout at him in that specific deep, commanding, delicious way-

"Ed! What is this; I said stop!"

This time, he's taking his sweet time tying up the struggling and wiggling French hostage in his arms. Not a life ending thing to do slowly, so that Stede notices and frowns and fusses, but follows it up with a smile and a kiss and a reassurance he's just being a grump (not that Ed would hold it against him in any case, since he's been the one initiating these moments since the first genuine one at the party)-

"Edward!" Stede snaps, his voice sharp and crisp over the sound of the looting and killing crew. "Either tie them up, or toss them to me to take care of! Now!"

He's hard. Really fucking hard. He's never pushed it this far before; usually he complies with Stede's second shout.

The hostage has noticed and gives him a curious look.

"Not because of you," Ed sneers. "Though, you're fine, I mean. Not my taste personally."

The French officer nods, then resumes their fighting against him. Their ass pushes extra hard against his cock now and again, and he finds himself absentmindedly wondering what defenses one could develop for this attack, aside from not being hard mid-raid of course-

"Edward!" Stede's over to him in a beat, hand on his arm. "Did you hear me? What is going on?!"

He moans. Completely unintended, when he had meant to open his mouth to say something cute and bratty in response.

Stede blinks, his eyes drift to Ed's trousers, then back up to Ed's gaze.

He smirks, and tries to yank the officer from Ed's grasp.

"That is my hostage!" Ed leans into it, fighting off a giggle. He doesn't want to break this impromptu scene, not when he's so fucking close.

"Then capture them properly or kill them!" Stede shouts. "I'm your co-captain; I won't have insubordination!"

He slams the officer hard into the mast behind them. "I'm fucking Blackbeard; I'll be as insubordinate as I want!"

"Edward! Stand down now!"

He tosses the officer to the ground as he comes, then pulls Stede close by the loose black cravat he's wearing.

He's aware he's essentially grinding against Stede like he's lost his mind, that Stede is moaning into his mouth in between sloppy kisses, and that the crew has stopped all they had been doing and gone silent.

"Sorry about that argument," Stede says as Ed pauses to look to the watching crew. "We couldn't decide what to do with this hostage!"

Ed nods, but he can see their eyes. That lie was never gonna survive or be taken remotely seriously.

"Maybe you two should continue that discussion back on the ship," Olu suggests. "We'll be a little bit yet, but then you have plenty of time to...argue."

He smiles and grabs Stede's hand and leads him towards one of their dinghies, while Stede laughs and calls out a few last minute instructions to the crew.

"It does that much for you, hm?" Stede asks as Ed rows them back towards the Revenge. "You know I wasn't serious after the second shout, right? I could tell you were playing around or something, and-"

"I know," Ed interrupts gently. "I did have him though."

"Did you?" Stede's brow arches. "Argumentative again, are we?"

Ed grins and giggles. He's a mess yet from the hostage situation, but his cock twitches in his trousers even so.

"I did, and I am!"

"Edward," Stede draws it out in a playfully warning tone. "I won't have that from my co-captain."

"Make me stop then," Ed purrs. He'd fuck Stede right now if it wouldn't potentially tip the boat. But if he can't have that, he wants however close they can get.

"Pull the oars up," Stede commands softly.

Ed tosses water into the boat in his rush to pull the oars in.

"Good boy," Stede murmurs. "Are you going to listen now?"

Ed shakes his head with a smirk.

Stede giggles, but resumes the bit not a second later. "Then you'll have to wait for me to do everything I want to you, and keep rowing."

Ed pulls the oars back out and rows.

"I didn't even have to ask," Stede smiles. "That's not enough to get you out of this though."

One of his hands lingers on Ed's thigh, warm and moving slowly in random teasing patterns. Ed desperately wants it on his bare skin rather than the leather of his trousers.

"No coming until I say," Stede continues. "No matter where my hands go or how they touch you."

He's already aching, feels like being a horny teenager again.

"Don't you dare," Stede hisses. "Relax."

Then, he snickers. "Oh I can't. It would be too mean."

"What?" Ed asks.

"I know what to say to make you fail," Stede giggles. "I'm almost positive it'll set you off."

Ed whines. He doesn't even try to stop it.

"Shall I try it and we'll see?" Stede asks. "It won't be held against you at all, of course. It's one thing for you to come before I say, but another for me to purposefully-"

"I love you too," Ed interrupts as he yanks the oars back in. "Please. We can rile each other up again once we're back onboard."

Stede's lids flutter and he leans in to kiss Ed, his hand creeping up Ed's thigh to rest on the outline of his hard cock.

"Please," Ed whines.

Stede's other hand holds the side of the dinghy to keep himself steady. "Please what?"

"Say it," Ed replies. "What you think will make me-"

"That's not how you say it," Stede scolds him softly.

"You're fucking killing me," Ed groans, willing Stede's hand on his cock to move at least.

Stede's eyes light up. "Finally."

Stede's hand barely moves over him as he mutters the demand in Ed's ear. "Stand down, Ed."

"Fuck," in a soft whimper is all Ed can manage as his cock pulses.

"Looks like I was right," Stede chuckles. "Shall I finish rowing us back?"

"Mhm," Ed nods.

"Okay. You alright to rest until we get there?"

He nods again. Any other words are beyond him for the moment.

"Then we'll get you a bath and get comfortable and rest," Stede continues as he grabs the oars and settles back on his seat.

"And I'll suck you off until you come down my throat," Ed adds with a shaky voice. "At least once."

Stede swallows hard.

"To make up for being so argumentative and insubordinate," Ed teases. "Can you focus enough to row?"

The answer, as it turns out, is kind of. Though Ed can admit he makes it take longer each time he mentions to Stede how he really just wanted his mouth full, hence his being so mouthy before. Surely Stede has something he could keep in there?

The oars get tossed into the sea the second they're close enough to climb the ladder on the Revenge, and Ed almost breaks the scene to ask Stede if he isn't sure they might need those.

Then he hears the soft sound of silk being pulled off and tossed aside, and nothing else matters but Stede.

[whump-on-a-string]

Dallan and silly vampire boy had been living rent free in my head; mainly in all kinds of scenes where vampire boy accidentally hurts Dallan because of utter stupidity

One of my favorite character types is "oblivious fucking idiot" and it shows. I've had this OC for like 2 drawings and they've already devolved into an intensely silly little guy. Poor bastard needs a name.

After a very tense dinner party when Dallan leaves out the front door to go home he'd probably run into the local werewolf bounty hunter.

He starts using the back door after that.

[contritecactite]

Radio Omens time!! Strap in for my subjective personal opinions made by one person about the full-cast radio adaptation of Good Omens.

We're gonna begin with: I am blowing kisses to the scripting/editing/production team. This thing is an impeccable adaptation. Im-pecc-a-ble. The voice talent is fantastic, the energy is stellar, the pacing is excellent, and the sheer amount of atmospheric info they managed to translate into radio-friendly format? Mwah mwah mwah. I think it's the kind of listening format that's not for everyone, but it is SO for me.

Time for some specific highlights! It was a long day so we're a little extra silly this time. It's also long and not in a reasonable order.

(Ok good my page cut is working this time.)

- Good GOD I forgot the primary voices were Like That. I shrieked (happily) as soon as Aziraphale's mouth opened. This is why I travel alone /hj

-- (Incidentally, I said "oh fuck holy shit I can't do this" when Crowley started talking, but I did it anyway *sighs in bisexual*)

- Hheeeennghsh the opening scene in Eden is. The way it's written successfully sets up who Aziraphale and Crowley are, who they're supposed to be to each other, and a hint at who they're going to be to each other later because they are SO delightfully snippy at one another in this scene. Aziraphale's "oh, it's you" and Crowley's "mmhm, yeah, well done on keeping demons away. Bravo" (heavily paraphrased) will be living rent-free in my head until I have time to write a fic about it.

- So, having Aziraphale do the early narration is an excellent way of setting the tone. What I need you to do, if you've only done tv omens (which is so so valid and I think really is another excellent adaptation), is remember Aziraphale's magician persona. And then imagine him being that for the entire story. The pitch, the rate of speech, the slightly frantic energy, the drama: it's all just part of his overarching character in radio omens, and it's SO good for storytelling.

- Radio Crowley knows what's in all of Aziraphale's infamous Bibles so well that he can quote them. I love this detail, I love it as a means of establishing their relationship during their "let's be godfathers" scene, and I love how hard he's ribbing poor Aziraphale about the extra verses in Genesis.

- Radio Crowley is SO like... tender? I mean, all Crowleys are to some extent Soft but something about this one has just a little extra something. I love the way he talks about his temptations and shenanigans. He's so proud. It eases what could feel like needless exposition because he really seems to like explaining his process.

- That's a bit of the same of what I mean about Aziraphale's personality. Since he's very obviously inclined to dramatize a story, exposition just fades neatly into his character rather than grating on the nerves.

- They reference The Arrangement a lot and usually with a great deal of affection. There's one particular time when they even acknowledge something about wanting to protect each other.

- I adore the way Anathema and her ties to Agnes are introduced. It's so concise but meaningful, and it's just the right amount of setup for her character appearing later.

- The baby swap scene in other iterations relies so much on descriptive narrative or visual language, but you know what? The heavily trimmed down version also works surprisingly well.

- Crowley knows about the hellhound way beforehand (and, of course, he tells Aziraphale. They plan their roles for the party years in advance, which is an extremely efficient way of communicating about that scene to the listener).

- At Warlock's party in the book, Crowley gets all suspicious about a gerbil being gifted to him. In the radio drama, Aziraphale wonders aloud if the gerbil might be suspicious and Crowley tells him not to be stupid. Just struck me as a funny thing to shuffle around.

- Adult radio Anathema is everything to me actually.

- Poor Newt's childhood gets skipped over (unless I missed it, which is possible), but I liked his adult introduction as well; it brings in the whole Witchfinder-adjacent cast at once and makes it super clear how they all know each other without lingering.

- Shadwell. Just. The actor's voicework is so evocative of someone who is very gesturally expressive. There's no way he wasn't swinging his hands around in the recording space.

- The Them are all 100% perfect. Shout-out to Adam for that mind-rending scream that I was not expecting to go on for so long. Interestingly, in chapter credits, the Them are not grouped with the humans! This makes sense, but it also made my brain go !!!

- The horsepeople (both original and extra) were also so good, and that chunk of the cast gave the impression of good chemistry, so the scenes were really fun.

- Crowley says Aziraphale's name a lot. A lot a lot. Actually, most people do; probably for simplicity's sake, there's no "Mr. Fell," or "Nanny Ashtoreth," just "Mr. Aziraphale" and "Mr. Crowley."

- Well, Shadwell does say "Mr. A," and there is a Brother Francis.

- One of Nanny's rules for Warlock is "don't talk to the creepy gardener" rkahjdjs Crowley what is wrong with you

- I did in fact let out another sound when the Nanny voice happened. We're not talking about it.

- When applying for the jobs, Aziraphale just straight up calls dibs on gardener and Crowley complains and says something like "can you see me in a skirt?" and Aziraphale just pulls a date at random on which he'd seen Crowley in a skirt. This was probably also in the book, but I noticed it here and didn't there.

- Crowley's idea of something calming to listen to was a radio gardening talk show ;~; and he likes listening to televangelists for the lulz (I have never used that phrase before in my life but I'm keeping it)

- Having him hear Aziraphale possessing the televangelist was absolute genius for keeping the plot cohesive.

- Seance scene continues to be painful ahahaha...

- Hell's emissaries know that Aziraphale was discorporated and they're mean to Crowley about it in a way that implies Hell has long been aware that they're working together. Intriguing...

- There's mention at some point about how no homes in Tadfield have PlayStations or Xboxes, and I think that's a cool bit of writing to establish the time period (along with Newt bricking smartphones, which I think was said at least in breadcrumbs).

- Almost forgot, but Mr. Gaiman and Sir Terry Pratchett being the policemen trying to book Crowley for speeding in the beginning is so cute.

- When Satan is about to show up, Aziraphale worrying about everyone else and Crowley going "and me!" like hello, I am also in danger, that's my boss?? if u even care?? was SO funny in this version to me.

- Look, there were a lot more things, but it's already been several hours since it ended, so I'm sure I'm forgetting many.

- Oh! Pepper's backstory being transformed into her speech to Adam was SO good on so many levels. It really drove home that Adam does love his friends, it deepened their lore gradually, it made Adam's role and decisions very clear, and it also struck me as "Pepper says trans rights" even if that wasn't the intention, so hell yeah.

- The gag reel leads me to believe that Peter Serafinowicz is A) probably the funniest person alive to work with and B) extremely relatable due to the amount of time spent on the struggle bus. Also whoever put the breaking glass sound over all the accidental swears, I love you forever.

[n30nwrites]

Bring Me To Life (Prologue)

Summary: Against all odds, you've survived. Having graduated high school and moved out of your Parent's place, your sibling decides to join you for the summer, and your first stop is Santa Cruz in California, you had always wanted to live there anyways so why not now that you're experiencing freedom? One problem: This doesn't look like the 21st century, instead it looks like a scene from your favorite movie, in fact it looks exactly like your favorite movie.

How are you meant to survive in the murder capital of the world? With vampires of all things, and your sibling hates this movie.

a/n: prologue for this fanfic, this will also be on AO3 and wattpad. Preface for this, fuck Max :}

Reader: Male Reader, uses Y/N, third person.

Oc uses they/she pronouns. Will be using both, Y/n refers to them as both sibling and sister, which is okay

Fandom: The Lost Boys

Pairing(s): Michael Emerson x Reader, Paul x Reader, Dwayne x Reader, Marko x Reader, David x Reader, Sam Emerson x Nonbinary! Oc, Edgar Frog x Nonbinary! Oc, Alan Frog x Nonbinary! Oc,

It was one thing moving the United States to California by yourself, it was another thing bringing your 15-year-old sibling with you, not to live with you, but to stay just until summer was over and school was starting again, your parents believed it would help with their 'rebellious streak'. That streak being that they just don't care enough to do class work and keep staying up all night playing video games, therefore they fall asleep in class.

Nik had a firm belief in changing the radio whenever any song that they didn't like came on, and you had a firm belief that your sibling needed to shut up because you liked your music and if you had to drive without some good tunes you would probably turn into the next psycho on the news.

You two did listen to similar music, but for this trip it was specifically 80s and 90s songs that you shouted loudly, windows were rolled down because the air conditioner in your car didn't work. It was small and shitty and cost a year of pay, thankfully your parents were there to let you live rent free. One of the few things you could be thankful for.

"Do you know how to be quiet?" Your sibling groaned, their jacket wrapped around their body despite how hot it was, "Put on Hozier, or Doja, hell I'll even take Taylor Swift over this... What is this shit?"

'Cry little sister'

"I know damn well you aren't talking to me about my music taste-"

'Thou shall not fall'

"What's wrong with mine?"

Come, come to your brother

"It's literally only tiktok songs, half of them aren't even good."

'Thou shall not die'

"At least I don't say 'They sung this on Glee'"

'Unchain me, sister'

"Every hot, mentally ill, gay person went through a Glee faze."

Thou shall not fear

"I didn't"

'Love is with your brother'

"That's why I said hot."

'Thou shall not kill'

You quickly stuck your tongue out in a childish way, before looking back into the road, ignoring your sibling who mumbled and repeated your words. "Theres a reason we're heading to Santa Cruz. Found a nice place right near the beach so we can-"

"Sleep all day, and party all night. I know, you've said it hundreds of times." Nik had heard the phrase from you so many times, you had tried to show them your favorite movie, even almost tricked them into it, but they were quick to leave the room. They simply hated it because you loved it, something you were forced to accept about them.

The car ride became silent as you got closer, to fill it, Nik had turned up the radio as it switched to a different song.

"Finally some MJ." The beat of Billie Jean came in, causing you to start tapping your hands to it as your merged.

"She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene" The two of you belted the lyrics, switching over the 80s playlist to one consistently of Michael Jackson. "I said don't mind, but what do you mean, I am the one" you shook your head, "Who will dance" you turned to your sibling and sung the words to them before turning back, repeating it each time you sung, "on the floor" again "in the round?" and then turned back, "She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round"

The house that you bought with a loan wasn't the biggest, at least not compared to your parents house. Two bedrooms, One master and One guest, and 1 in a half bathrooms. The half bathroom was connected to the master bedroom, which Nik tried to get but was quickly locked out. They would be staying in the guest room, while you set it up they would help. They were also supposed to attempt to find a job this summer, as their parents wanted Nik to learn some responsibility. 

"Okay, change outfits, shower if you need to! We are going to the beach!" You were excited, thrumming almost. You felt as if you belonged.

"I'm tired."

"Party all night!" You yelled, grabbing a suit case filled with your clothes. The two of you didn't have a lot. A few suitcases filled with clothes, and then a few boxes for the rooms. You didn't even have mattresses yet.

"Let's just sleep a bit." A nap did sound good, you didn't have the best sleep due to the anxiety about the drive.

"Fine, a nap! I'm setting an alarm." Nik went into your room, both of you grabbing the blankets and laying them on the floor, setting up some pillows and collapsing as soon as you could.

Instead of waking up to your alarm, you woke up to Nik shaking your shoulder, harsh rain hitting the window and the house was shaking.

"The doors are opening."

You stood up quick, running out of the bedroom to the backdoor refusing to close. You pushed against it but it quickly fell open, so you held the door. "Grab the heavy boxes." Nik followed through, pushing against the doors as lightning flashed. "It wasn't supposed to storm."

"Don't they get Hurricanes here." A siren went off, "Well-"

"Not another tornado." You groaned. You had your fair shair of them, being where your from. "We need to grab our shit, head to the basement."

The house shook again, you two grabbed your phones and chargers, rushing down into the basement that still had cobwebs. Nik almost ran upstairs at the sight of them, claiming they would rather take their chance with the tornado. You had to basically pulled them down as you two sat in the basement, the house shook as you two fell to the ground, hitting your heads.

Your eyes rolled back, your vision turns black as your body hits the ground. Your siblings hand lays against yours as their body falls onto you, and in that moment, you had gone through the impossible.

[postal-ech]

Alright no, I need to go into detail on this shit cause I swear to god, it lives rent free in my head. I'll split the post off here cause there's gonna be some spoilers for Lisa the Undone as well as a few other Lisa Fan Games that are on my mind

I'm also giving a CW here, cause Lisa covers some dark topics, and I want to unload it a bit here, especially given what I've seen out of Lisa the Undone.

Buckle up, it's gonna be a long, very autistically hyperfixated post.

So

I initially never really got into Lisa when it first came out. I was a shitlord that saw the fan content first, especially this project known as Interlopers - essentially, a Lisa-Undertale crossover featuring Buddy Armstrong and Chara Dreemur.

It piqued my interest a bit, but I never realized how one sided it was in exploring this stuff, especially given it was this crossover AU. It focused mainly on the Undertale fandom and some of the things that were popular at the time. It WAS going to explore its own version of Olathe on a sequel series but that was canceled later on, and the idea has become dormant since.

Later on, my curiosity grew and I looked into the Lisa side of things more. I discovered Lisa the Pointless, Lisa the Hopeful, and then I started looking into other fan projects here too.

Why this pretext? Because that was the gateway into Lisa proper.

I only got Lisa the Painful and Lisa the Joyful after its definitive edition released. At this point, I was pretty well versed in Brad's story - his trauma and pain, the struggles he faces after, the Joy abuse to numb the pain - so when I saw the campfire scenes between Brad and the other party members, especially with members like Terry or Queen Rodger, Bo and Olan, it sparked something there that's for fucking sure.

And then I got to the secret boss.

I'm a dude thar enjoys reading into shit, looking deep at the meaning of written projects be it games, movies, books, etc - Lore is my god damn drug, to put it in a TL:DR.

Seeing this huge call back to Lisa the First, Seeing the symbolism of joy spiders worshipping a Blue Eclipse above Brad's childhood home, fighting the manifestation of Marty Armstrong and reading the deeper, personal stuff that's said afterwards

That song, too, towards the very end of the sequence, with the music that's reminiscent of s church choir singing as Brad's childhood self descends into the darkness

That's what truly sold me on Lisa.

I know everyone has mixed feelings on Lisa the Joyful of course, especially in the way it handled Buddy - Some people were fine with it, and others didn't like the way she became this bloodthirsty girl out to murder shit indiscriminately

I say fair enough honestly, Joyful was a bit of a slog to get through compared to Painful

HOWEVER

There were two things I still enjoyed about it:

One, Dustin. Dustin was and still is the goddest boy despite his own flaws, and I was upset it wasn't explored more before his untimely death. Buddy actually starting to care about him before it all went downhill was tragic in its own right

Two, the DE content. Again, a lot of people were still mixed on it, but personally I saw it as a better expansion into Buddy healing from her trauma, understanding that- while Brad certainly was in the wrong in the way he raised her, he still tried his best in a world that definitely wanted to exploit her in the most horrific ways imaginable.

I'm fine with her even mentioning Lisa cause let's all be real here, she's definitely at least heard of her through Brad in some way, shape or form, and the ending bit where he explains the dead flower to her only reinforces that for me.

The more supernatural side of things feel interesting too, cause maybe it's just me, but reading into things, The Flash always had this sort of supernatural spin to it - how Olathe got so fucked up, how time doesn't seem to be entirely right in some areas or how everything got all mountainous and the likes. Probably just headcanon stuff but fuck it, I enjoy the speculation.

AND NOW, THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR: LISA THE UNDONE.

So, with that context out of the way, I'll get into my proper thoughts with Lisa: The Undone.

Firstly, again I know not everyone will really agree with the ideas the Definitive Edition put out, especially in the case of Joyful with its Lisa the First callback and Buddy just slamming on Buzzo the way she does. That being said, I love the way Lisa the Undone tackles these ideas Joyful initially set our and explores them more.

The idea of Buddy being less hateful at first, just wanting to genuinely explore the weird and wacky world of Olathe despite its darkness is very welcome. With Dustin especially, this is only amplified.

A lot of the headcanoned and original stuff feel like they can fit right into the base Lisa games too honestly, and that's another thing I really appreciate about this fan gams

But the most important thing to me is the found family relationship between Dustin and Buddy, as well as the two other companions you can recruit.

Dustin is by no means perfect. This is undeniable enough given his actions in Painful and Joyful - He wants to do good, but it becomes a bit of a messiah complex especially for Buddy - who mind you, is only a pubescent kid during all of this shit. This is still translated well in this fan game, just less of a prominent character point - He still wants Buddy to have a good life and to be safe, but there's a clear struggle with seeing her as the Future of Olathe

And seeing her as just Buddy. Just Her.

And the fact that over the time, throughout the chapters, you see Dustin refer to her less as this important figure for the world and more as like a sibling, or just straight up family, that right there is what sells me on this.

Especially towards the end, where depending on your choices in the game, Buddy does eventually admit she can't help but care about people like Dustin.

That hits. That hits a good fucking bit.

And that's what I love to see in this. Sure, it may end with one of the two dying in part 2 of Undone, or depending on your actions it may end with tragedy for either of them

But the fact it works this found family dynamic so God damn well here, with how Buddy and Dustin care for each other AS that family despite Brad's own fuck-ups between the both of them.

Fuck man. It's good, and I hope this fandom explores it more here - especially with DE putting things into an interesting context too.

On a side note, God I also hope it explores DE's Warlord skills mechanics in the future, it's some god damn martial arts shit I love. Sure it may be Mega Man-esque bur god dammit the idea of Buddy learning and incorporating some ideas given from how each Warlord fights is SUCH a good idea and if there's ever a fan game that had Buddy exploring the greater world of Olathe, meeting the likes of Alex Churchland or Beltboy and shit like that, I wanna see her develop her own form of martial arts with or without the katana she's grown accustomed with god dammit.

God, I love Lisa. I love these games as much ad Undertale and Deltarune, and I need to write out some more shit for this series.

Thanks Austin Jorgensen you god damn mad man, and thanks to the Fandom for putting out such genuine bangers.

[nyoomfruits]

heyyy for already home, i was wondering if you’d be down to answer #9: “Were there any alternate versions of this fic?”

i just love that fic so so so much!! it lives rent free in my head and so when i saw that repost of urs, i was just wondering.

EXCELLENT QUESTION mostly because there IS an alternate version!!!! when i started writing it there was this idea to add a friends with benefits plot in as well, traces of which can actually still be found in the scene that happens right after oscar’s office party!!!

Oscar hums, seems deep in thought. The cold winter air is turning his nose and cheeks all pink and Lando has to suppress the urge to grab his face and kiss his nose until it’s warm again. “You could, you know,” Oscar says, then, and for an insane moment Lando thinks he’s talking about kissing his nose.

“What?” He stutters out, nearly stumbling over his own feet.

“I mean, if you wanted to, with someone. Daniel was flirting with you, so clearly he wanted… I’m just saying. I know we’re married, but if you have needs…” Oscar’s flush seems to get even darker, even though Lando is pretty sure it isn’t from the heat this time.

“Needs? Oscar, Jesus fuck, what are you talking about,” Lando says, incredulous. “Are you insinuating I should have sex with Daniel?” He feels a little hysterical and he probably sounds it too. Mostly because the idea is so incredibly absurd to him, he doesn’t even really know what to do with it.

Oscar flounders a little. “Well, I mean, maybe not Daniel, but I’m just saying, I know we’re married, but that’s just like, a platonic thing, so if you wanted to-“

“No,” Lando says, mostly because the idea of sleeping with someone else, someone who is not Oscar makes his skin crawl. He ignores the way his heart pangs at Oscar’s use of the word ‘platonic’. “No, Oscar, Jesus, I’m not cheating on you.”

“But it wouldn’t be cheating,” Oscar says. “Right?”

basically, in the alternate version, lando would suggest after this that since neither of them want to sleep with anyone else since they dont want to be accused of cheating (and also. you know. because they’re actively in love with each other) they should just sleep with _each other_. which they then, well. do.

ultimately didn’t feel confident enough in my smut writing skills to pull it off but yeah. there you have it. the fwb plot that never was 💔

[highfiveheroes]

fic ask!! for passage commentary, this bit from "now I breathe flames every time I talk" chapter one (though the entirety of ch1 lives rent free in my mind at all times):

The thing is, she knows them too well. They all follow her to the bathroom—Oisin is with his great something grandmother tonight and Buddy doesn’t stay on weekends, so it’s Ruben, Ivy, and Mary Ann that stand at the end of the hall, watching to see what nefarious plan she’s got under her sleeve.

She uses her own toothpaste and her own toothbrush, doesn’t touch anyone else’s, and steps out into the hall. Three heads whip behind a corner; she pretends not to notice. There’s four guest rooms; on nights when everyone is staying, either someone pulls an all-nighter or someone ends up napping at their desk. It’s usually Kipperlilly that sacrifices the room. But again, Oisin isn’t here, and they agreed early in sophomore year that they wouldn’t mind letting her borrow his unofficial room when she needed it. It’s been a while, but she thinks the offer still stands. So into his room she goes, and there’s lots of papers regarding bank dealings and Adaine Abernant, but she ignores all of it and shuts the door so she can change.

Shadows pass in front of the door a few times as she gets ready, letting her hair down, avoiding looking in the mirror. When the light goes out, the movement stops, and she can picture them all on the other side. Let them wonder, she thinks. Let them stalk her. They don’t care about her and they never did, so—

She tries to sleep. Honestly, she does. But fifteen minutes later the door creaks open, letting light spill into the room. Kipperlilly doesn’t move. She’s not doing anything wrong, goddamn it, she’s just trying to fucking sleep.

OH I LOVED THIS SECTION <3

no because i'm sort of obsessed with the non rogues of the party trying to tail the actual rogue, especially when she's...not actually doing anything for once? like i wanted it to read like a brooklyn 99 scene for this whole sequence, where ruben&co think they're in the heist of the century trying to figure out what kipperlilly is doing...meanwhile kipperlilly is literally being the most normal she's ever been.

also confession time...i have the line in here about adaine and bank documents which in hindsight is so funny to me that people read it as oisin being the reason adaine is poor, because i actually meant for it to be "oh, oisin has something to do with the KVX bank turning blue, and as a separate fun fact he's been stalking adaine and trying to learn more about her. but i actually prefer the take that he's got something to do with adaine not getting money, because it makes him offering her components and gems and gold so much more sinister in context hahaha

but i also wanted to throw in the oisin and kipperlilly dynamic, because they're so fascinating to me. arguably they're the smartest in the crew—at the very least, they're the two most likely to be involved in the main plot, as shown by the buddy/last stand moment and the scene during rock the vote. (this is also coming into play in ch2 LOL so i'm glad i left the crumbs in ch1)

and then. and then!! kipperlilly just...sweet girl, she wouldn't even recognize if she saw herself in the mirror after the mask has dropped. it's the way she has completely detached herself from any of her actions and who she's become now, and she can't face it, so she just keeps plowing forward instead. like a sunk cost fallacy of "i've come this far, no use in reflecting on how i got here or where i came from or who i used to be" sort of thing. she tries so hard to pretend things are fine, it's just that...they're not. y'know?

thank you!!! for letting me get to analyze this, i fucking love it hehehe

[catgirlsp0ck]

Okay,

So Halsin, Karlach, Wyll, and Gale.

I oh have the concept that this would take place with out a Tav. Halsin and Wyll are the first to meet and I think that Wyll helps the Tiefling refugees settle in, with the assistance of the chill members of the grove and Halsin. I think Wyll heard reports about Karalach and left before Halsin did.

After the crash: I my runs I encountered Gale, Wyll, and Karlach in that order. So I have serval scenes during the goblin fight, Wyll showing around the party, (Aastorin, Laez’el, Shadowheart, and Gale for now and I am ignoring party limit because it’s stupid.)

They get to know the refugees and spend a day/two days searching around the grove and the ship crash. I have a small scene where Gale helps Arabella with practicing a cw trip (Wyll thinks it’s cute as hell)

In that time I think the first night I adore the concept that Gale and Wyll chat about their respective cities. With Wyll having spend the past seven years on the sword coast and they chat about books, food and wine. I have admit Wyll misses the yawning portals buttermilk biscuits they live in his head rent free) and how Gale befriend the Lady Alustriel Silverhand and she taught him the recipe and her offers to make some for Wyll.

On their second day Gale admits to Wyll about his condition and Wyll gives Gale minor magic item. Gale lasted that night makes the biscuits and we get to meet Tara in all of her glory. I think that she and Wyll get along well.

Third Day we meet Karlach: speed run the miscommunication by their respective Demons who are ruining their lives and they become allies. The party deals with the Blighted Village and the surrounding area it. They find an infernal iron, explore more of the area, until they return back to the grove for camp.

Karlach meets the Refugees and we get the first infernal iron repair. I like the idea while they are waiting for Damon to shape the metal Karlach and Wyll do some training with the kids. At the long rest we deal with Mizora (fuck Mizora) Wyll pays the price for saving Karlach. I have Wyll and Karlach have a more longer conversation about how is he doing and how to take care of his horns. Also he checks in with Karlach because it’s been very emotional roll coaster of a day for her.

At a totally diegetic moment Gale talks with them. (At the party’s request the biscuits have become a stable at dinner and considering the Hell of a day both Wyll and Karlach have had he’s sneaking them two extra baskets.) Gale apologizes that they are colder and Karlach offers to warm them up.

Tara and Karlach meet and also hit it off.

I’ll be back with part two!

i meet them in that order too lol,, and you're right about the halsin and wyll part, i think they definitely met before halsin left for the goblin camp. anyway, this is all so cool,, thanks for sharing :))

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe

5/5. Releases 1/24/2023.

For when you're vibing with... Enemies to lovers, duke in the streets/freak in the sheets, Sagittarius-coded heroines, rough sex, and lines so romantic they'll make your heart grow three sizes.

Once upon a time, there was a romance series, and it was a great romance series (one of my favorites, easily). And in the first book, The Heiress Hunt, you got the rare legitimately compelling friends to lovers moment--but who stood between the friends (who became lovers)? The hot, perfectly coiffed, gentlemanly Duke of Lockwood (Fuckwood). Rather conspicuously during this novel, the heroine's best friend, bon vivant girl about town Nellie, was all, "You should not marry the Duke of Lockwood!!! He's the worst!!! Why? I shall not elaborate!!!"

And so, for the next book, The Lady Gets Lucky, Lockwood romanced another heroine in the hope of getting dollar princess dollars. But lo, he was cucked. Again. In the third book he didn't even try, but he still sort of got cucked, because why not? That's hilarious. But throughout the series, you get these little hints and asides that suggest that while Lockwood and Nellie hate each other, they really hate how much they want to absolutely rail the fuck out of each other.

Thus, we get The Duke Gets Even.

Truly, I don't know that I've ever been as excited about a romance release as I am about The Duke Gets Even. I was practically campaigning for an ARC of this book. And I have no regrets, even though I don't think that campaigning mattered much, because I have read this book several times since I got the ARC, and it is glorious.

There's something about a great historical romance series--wherein all the books do stand alone, but when read in sequence, you get these great tidbits of how a happy couple is doing, or who might come next. The Fifth Avenue Rebels has been great in this sense, giving us several parallel stories that all spin off of the same wild Newport house party (and building a core group of friends that I love). But undoubtedly, the couple that Joanna Shupe has been teasing the entire time is Nellie and Lockwood--a spitfire rich girl with a keen sense towards reproductive justice, and a seemingly uptight duke who needs to marry an American heiress in order to secure his estate's future. Reading previous books (which again, isn't necessary but is fun, not least of all because they're just good books) you know that Nellie has actively campaigned against this man getting with any of her friends. Now we see why. And we also get a love story that is less about his worries over her reputation, regardless of what the setup may make you think... and more about Nellie's fears of emotional intimacy and what an uncertain future with Lockwood (government name Andrew, I'll add) could hold. Trust and believe: the man is all in with her quite early in the book--while Nellie's journey really imitates a traditional historical romance hero's journey. God, Joanna Shupe's brain.

Quick Takes:

--Yes, this book is hot as fuck. Yes, he's a bit of a freak. To get it out of the way: Lockwood likes rough sex. Fortunately, Nellie also likes rough sex! He's into biting her and leaving bruises, she's into scratching him and drawing blood. There's a wonderful moment when he promises to ~stick to the outside~ because of previous exertions that lives rent free in my head. While I would say the sex in this book is very intimate and vulnerable and oftentimes emotional, I wouldn't say that it's like... "He parted my tender petals" sex. Which, like--is why Joanna Shupe, in my opinion, writes some of the best sex scenes in historical romance. Easily. The sex Nellie and Lockwood have feels authentic to who they are and their relationship.

--So much water in this book! I love a motif. Nellie and Lockwood meet in the water; swimming is an important part of life for him; they bond over her dad letting him use the indoor pool (Cornelius Young, my brother in CHRIST, setting these two up for naked pool shenanigans... He said "If my daughter's gonna have wild sex in inappropriate locations, I'd rather it be with a gentleman who adores her"). Lockwood's always like "Nellie is a beautiful winsome mermaid, I find that so annoying".

--I love that much of the emotional crux of this book does surround Nellie's love of women and her desire for a maternal figure. She does have one, but the loss of her mother is still acute, and that felt very emotionally authentic to me. Also: there is an amazing undercurrent of being the last single woman in your group of beloved female friends, and how lonely that can be, and oof--I've never read that in a historical in a manner that isn't about the woman wanting to get married, but the woman feeling isolated from her friends, and stunted somehow. Hit me real hard.

--I feel like it's important to say that this book is obviously very timely. Nellie does crusade for women's rights, and she has had an abortion in the past and has zero regrets about it. She distributes birth control to women who really fucking need it (that is: women who don't have the money to get it through illicit channels like Nellie and her friends do). It's very well done, and while I anticipated Nellie's activities putting her into conflict with Lockwood... They really don't? Not in the way you're thinking, at least.

--There is a lot of interesting "here's what a duke actually was in society by this point" shit, which I found hilarious and a great takedown of the "all powerful duke" in historical romance. In many ways, Lockwood is very alpha and take charge and everything you want from a historical romance hero. But also, the conceit of his entire plot since day one has been that he is BROKE. And he's in America! He's basically a fun little party guest! With no money! He came to the States with his title, his massive cock, and a dream.

--The dirty talk in this novel? The amount of times he'd just call her "darling" after instructing her to do a sex thing? "I'm going to cover you in bite marks, darling"???? There's such a fun back and forth in the dialogue between these characters. You definitely get filled in on the time that's passed over the previous three books, and how Nellie and Lockwood have been dealing with their shenanigans in the background of the other love stories. It leaves you with two people who aren't friends but do know each other quite well, and can't resist the urge to dig at one another.

--I love Nellie so much. Easily a top heroine for me. (Who does in fact get on top.) But I will say that Lockwood's inner monologue was just... fabulous. The amount of times this man would just be like "WELP. ONCE AGAIN THE WORLD IS HERE TO SHIT ON ME" when he wasn't just rhapsodizing over Nellie? Honestly, a relatable king.

--There is a thing in this book that did yield a moment and a love confession in which I did tear up, and I'm kind of impressed by how Shupe to chose to leave it. Like, I know how I'm interpreting shit, but--especially considering a recent discussion on romance Twitter--I found it intriguing.

This is just what I wanted it to be--a good dose of enemies to lovers, a man who's butt crazy in love, and a woman who can't deal with it. Also, the kinds of ridiculously hot sex scenes that only Joanna Shupe can deliver. God bless. I couldn't recommend it more.

Thank you to Netgalley and Avon for giving me a free copy of this book exchange for an honest review.

[phantomknights]

u dont have to answer all of these. forgive me. but having a small but captive audience for my story is keeping me going man. oblivion + 5, 6, 9; old man yaoi + 9, 10, 14, 15; the party and beetle + 6 and 7. also obviously some of them are phrased as if its not an ongoing story that u can kinda influence so yk. interpret as needed

WOO PUTTING THIS UNDER A CUT BECAUSE ITS GNNA GET CHUNKY im just gonna do the first couple sets hope thats ok

5)...the scene from it that lives in my head rent free.

Tassos Casts Heat Metal and also valor explosion and also also beetle tassos collaboration and also also also beetle introduction and also also also also the gang waking from their magic induced dream bubble thingies and tassos being Pissed Off

6)...which is my favorite platonic or familial relationship in this world.

i feel like its gotta be the main party just by factor of them being the protagonists and thus getting more time in the spotlight to get attached to them. sorry for being boring

9)...which characters I think should have interacted more in canon.

legally can i say beetle and the others for this even though theyre going to interact more later anyway .

OLD MAN YAOI QUESTIONS:

9)...what my ideal endgame for them is.

i think once they get together it would probably take a good while for them to decide to get like properly Married but i imagine fen would get custody of beetle and they all move in together :) maybe fen loses a limb too so he can match /JOKING

10)...rate the level of stupid they reach in their pining.

on ash's side absolutely 100% stupid rating. he is (no pun intended) SO oblivious. on the other hand fen is absolutely aware and has a constant internal struggle about when to bring it up with him

14)...which tropes I think describe them the best.

you better fucking believe this BURN is SLOW and they are PINING MUTUALLY

15)...how I wish their story would go/would have gone.

this is a real tough one i dont think i have a good answer for it.. but this did just spark something in my brain of like. beetle being equally as fucked up about iris as ash is andgetting upset that he got a new boyfriend and going @ fen like "you're not my REAL dad >:("

[stuckasmain]

Trick or treat- songs meaning and possible over analyzing

Another thing I love about the movie is it’s kick ass soundtrack and that all the songs go along with whatever is happening on screen. For example “get tough” plays while Eddie confronts the bullies during the first revenge act or “Tear down the walls” while he literally tears all the posters off of his walls in a fit of teenage angst. It’s just a fun element that movies just don’t do- mainly because everyone gets popular songs instead of making a score and soundtrack but that’s a whole other conversation for another time.

Now I’ve made it no secret that Sammi lives rent free in my head after watching this movie and I’m making it everyone else’s problem. For a horror movie antagonist, he actually does get quite a lot of character especially with what few lines he actually gets. However, like always , I tend to dig way to deep into what we have to do character study and I think his pivotal song actually gives a LOT about him away.

Shocking Halloween performance-

Ok so hopefully we’re all in agreement that the song fucking rules but besides that… I think the song reveals the things the movie forgot to touch on after introducing them fairly over on. That beating Faust and that he “believes his own hype”

Maybe you'll see

Someone's put a spell on me

These lyrics repeat multiple times in the song and I think it’s basically a call for help without being a call for help. A clear “I’m not entirely in control of my actions here”, as later in the number when he starts firing lightning in the crowd it’s not started intentionally. It is going to hard on a solo, losing control. Lost in the music ™️ only after does there start to be intent. However Sammi seems much more intent on having a captive audience than a crispy one.

This is where I bring up Faust as it’s literally the first fucking few lines on the movie. Are directly ripped from a poem or production then it’s never once brought up again? And it is not referring to Sammi and Eddie as Ed 100% has free will here. The moment things turn deadly he drops the friendship and fights against him. Sammi on the other hand… oh dies in a random hotel fire and kid has satanic ritual related dreams? Oh yeah. Everything we learn through the TV special and Nuke points to Sammi being a wild child, publicity and fan obsessed rocker. I can see and he likely did Cut a deal with at least something - to be able to play and be popular forever. At the cost of his soul.

Rock and roll

Rockin' on a midnight

Take control

Sammi isn’t personally interested in souls at all. From every other scene the only people he kills are assholes or anyone against him. He’s a revenge kill kinda guy not a bunch of randos at a party guy- ESPECIALLY loyal fans. I think the party scene was probably on the demonic side , using him to fill a quota. As getting out of owing his soul by Eddie bringing him back means something, someone is die to take his place. He wants control. He wants fans- practically a army. He wants the stage! Hocus Pocus so got the captive crowd inspo from this Lmao.

His motivations are to spread his last album so he can’t be destroyed, to get revenge, and to play forever. I’m by no means saying he’s a “good” guy or that he wouldn’t kill if he had a choice… as we see him get several personal kills in/people who are in his way. Just that, there’s something else at play besides him during this scene particularly/he doesn’t kill without reason(flimsy reason but reason).

Final chase-

Firstly After midnight is basically “hee hee hoo hoo I’m gonna get you” but a song. It’s kinda hysterical. As fastway’s music is Sammi’s in universe so imagine efnodehioefhdeioheduhdjoi just singing as he goes after you. I can’t.

Gonna hunt you through the night, yeah

You got it

I want it

Pretty soon he's gonna change his tune now

Something about “he’s gonna come back to my side. I know he’s gonna. He has to.” Man give it up - Eddie’s not.

“Hee hee hoo hoo I’m going to get you and shock you” he’s a massive dork actually.

Conclusion-

I just think it’s much more interesting because he has personal motives and a lust for power but it’s at a pass with him owing his soul and the interest of the higher power he owes it to. How he’s forced to act outside of his own wants. Infinite power and a plan and he’s forced to do work instead of what he wants- which is at conflict with his anti man image etc. Like how he wants an audience, fans, praise etc and Hell wants a replacement for his dodging. I’m hoping this makes sense

[dashielldeveron]

Whew, okay this is a little embarrassing the length of this and commenting in the first place(I prefer being a silent appreciator of writing) but I'll get over myself for like 10 minutes.

Okay where do I start? Omg there's so much to talk about. But first off can I say I love the soulmate trope so so so so much. Like it activates the full on feral can I have some more sir part of my brain.(yes that exact meme) I came across this purely by accident digging into the aizawa x reader tag. Fav pairing with this man btw. But once I got acquainted with the overall story and the plot.

I blew through the entire first part of the story in an about an hour and a half. I may be a little late to the party but your writing is *chef kiss*. Ugh yes! The entire plot is amazing and the idea of a villan with a soulmate type quirk along with the later introduction of a villan with a sex pollen quirk for some drama. Like I was tearing into this hand over fist, giggling at the slow burn of it all. It's not over done and the pacing was perfect. When I was read the part about the reader choking up a flower. My eyes got so big, I even said out loud this fic has hanahaki too? Heck yeah! I'll admit I was touch disappointed when it wasn't an actual thing but I understood how Aizawa jumped to the conclusions about from soulmates to hanahaki being a real thing. Lol I got duped right along with him.

(Definitely sounds feasible in this soulmate AU and would love to see how you'd explore it, should it be something that you'd consider in the future)

The club scene? Oh my god. Someone get me a wheelchair because that moment with him being tipsy and let-me-teach-you. And just playing into being a dom and calling reader a brat. Crying.

And the paperwork mix up lol. Suprise! We've been married for 8 months now. That was so sweet when he admitted he already had the ring at home.

And what slow burn 38k fic is good without some spice? It was amazing. Better words are failing me at the moment. But I haven't seen anything better written in years.

All in all, I wanted to say thank you so much for writing this. Am I going back to read the other soulmate pairings, because I need more in my life? Yes, yes I am.

I'm sprinting not walking to read the rest lol.

But seriously if I could pop a little confetti cone through the screen, I would. Because you did that, you ate it all up and left no crumbs. And I am eternally grateful and excited to see more of your works. No matter what they may be. This will be my new brainrot for the weeks to come and will forever live in my head absolutely rent free.

oh my god. oh my god i need a minute. i just need a minute

*snatches up each piece of confetti to eat it* how are such kind people like you walking about on this bitch of an earth?????? your pointing out of details and being so generous made my heart fucken stop.

yeah idk if i'm gonna use hanahaki for real later? i am vaguely entertaining it for a character not committed to a route yet. here, i just wanted aizawa to freak the fuck out. fun fact: that hanahaki scene was the OG ending before i decided that aizawa and reader needed to suffer more :) and him teaching reader sexy things after teaching her school things????? i thought that would kill him :)

you are NOT late to the party; the fic isn't even done yet!!! there are at least three more routes (shinsou, dabi, and shigaraki) and a writer with a terrible uploading schedule!!!

thaaaaaaaank you so much for reading!!!!! xx.

[nataliekabra]

okay but the scene where leah asks nick why he's so tired and he goes "because i party hard, all night. every night" and then leah's like "if by 'party' you mean your calculus homework, sure" and nick's just. "WHATEVER LEAH." that fucking scene has lived rent free in my head for the past four years because it is the most relatable thing i've ever read in a book. and now i want to reread the simonverse just for my fav comfort ridiculous gay friend group

[eti-mun]

Soooo, how you feeling about Helluva Boss season 2 episode 1?

Personally, for most of the episode I was just "BABY STOLAS BABY BLITZ BABY FIZZ AAAAA-" but when it got to the confrontation between Stolas and Stella at the end and I was like "KING SHIT"

GOD the Not Divorced party really just kinda summed up the fact that Stella has Always been an abusive shit to Stolas, which was something I was already pretty certain of. And the fact that this man tried to make it work for the entirety of Octavia's life and THEN some just so his daughter could have a normal growing up life? God, I hope everyone who still sympathises with Stella are having a rude awakening (And also I wish everyone who's been accusing Vivzi of misogamy a very go fuck yourself) because we NEEDED this type of representation. Men can be abused too! And ofc Stolas was in the wrong for cheating on her but fuck, read the goddamn room That confrontation scene lives in my head rent free I fucking love stolas

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Starry-eyed Looking like a movie, every night’s a new scene I’m still stuck in hell

Say goodbye When they go home together, whispering forever I’ll go touch myself

I’ll still be alone when I’m done

All my friends are falling in love And I can’t even make out with him without wanting your touch Hell, I can’t even stomach a drink without hitting you up Know it’s too late But there’s still a part of me that’s hoping maybe one day It could be us Yeah, I’m still falling out of it and all my friends are falling in love

Every night I lay awake at his place, thinking ‘bout you always Dying, can’t you tell? Say I’m fine Faking like I’m happy, hope he doesn’t ask me If there’s someone else

But I’ll still be alone when he’s done

All my friends are falling in love And I can’t even make out with him without wanting your touch Hell, I can’t even stomach a drink without hitting you up Know it’s too late But there’s still a part of me that’s hoping maybe one day It could be us Yeah, I’m still falling out of it and all my friends are falling in love

I can barely breathe Yeah, I still miss you Do you think of me when she’s with you, falling in love?

All my friends are falling in love And I can’t even make out with him without wanting your touch And no, I can’t even stomach a drink without hitting you up Know it’s too late But there’s still a part of me that’s hoping maybe one day It could be us Yeah, I’m still falling out of it and all my friends are falling in love

***

@karatecaulfield WHAT UP WOULD YOU LIKE SOME YASMOON ANGST ON THIS FINE MORNING

Happy February! For the first day of Romance Month, have some angsty Yasmine content about experiencing the acute agony of realizing your love just a little too late! :D

...so I got really addicted to this song and had it playing on repeat, right?

And then at about the 50th listen, I had the epiphany that oh my god, this perfectly describes the situation of the sad, piney S3 Yasmine who lives rent-free in my mind, yearning for Moon and trying to fill the void by making out with Demetri :O

Gonna put my ramble about this and about S3 Yasmine under a cut because OH LORD did it get long ^^;

So the basic story here goes along with my headcanon that Moon and Yas were secretly, uh...experimenting in S1 (i.e. hooking up in secret). Moon started longing for more than a clandestine relationship behind closed doors, and wanted to tell people they were together. She figured they were the queen bees of the school, after all--no one would have the guts to give the girls at the top of the food chain a hard time for being queer. Besides, this was ever-progressive Los Angeles, wasn’t it? They’d probably become the school’s next big power couple, not losers worthy of ridicule.

Yasmine still refused, terrified of her own sexuality and the reactions of her homophobic family if they ever caught wind. All throughout their sophomore year, she told herself her feelings for Moon were just a dumb phase she’d eventually outgrow.

Naturally, they stopped messing around after the beach party fallout and Moon getting together with Hawk. When Yasmine spent the summer in France, she hoped the distance would help her to forget Moon and move on--maybe even become normal, as it were.

When the school year starts, Yasmine is in for quite a shock. Not only is Moon dating another girl--one Yasmine doesn’t even know, at that--but she’s doing so openly. They told half the grade at Moon’s end-of-summer party, with no shame or discretion whatsoever. Yasmine shoves down any jealousy that surfaces, feeling like an idiot.

It’s too fucking late. She had her chance with Moon, and she lost it. Absolutely torpedoed it on the infinitesimal chance that people wouldn’t accept her. Accept them.

What’s worse, Sam and Miguel seem to have rekindled their relationship...and are being utterly sickening about it. If Yasmine has to hear them giggling all through lunch one more time, she swears she’ll bang her head against their cafeteria table.

Yasmine, meanwhile, has commenced operation “Become A Normal Straight Girl” in hopes of finally shrugging off the unwelcome feelings that have started to bubble up again. After The Wedgie Incident, Yasmine doesn’t have as many romantic prospects as she once did, but...Demetri seems harmless enough, annoying though he is.

She hopes more than anything that their make-out sessions will awaken something in her. That swapping spit with him will make her feel like...well, however the typical teenage girl should when doing such activities.

But he’s not Moon. His body isn’t as soft, as curvy. His fingers on her skin aren’t as delicate. His laugh isn’t as warm.

Nonetheless. Every time she kisses him, she closes her eyes and pretends anyways.

Yasmine takes to crashing at Demetri’s house--sometimes even on weeknights. There’s a certain comfort in it, walking into school with her hair tactfully disheveled and projecting an image of shameless, brazen harlotry. Sometimes she even walks with a slight manufactured limp--to really drive home that she’s no prude virgin.

No one gives her a second glance. She hides in teenage normalcy so well that her classmates look right past the strangeness just underneath. The one thing after a brutal front wedgie that could make her even more of a pariah--if the knowledge fell into the wrong hands, anyways.

In truth, Yasmine and Demetri only try once to go all the way. They abandon the venture halfway. Yasmine knows on some level that they’re both just going through the motions--trying to do what’s expected. Neither of them really want this.

She still spends many a night on Demetri’s bedroom floor, staring at the ceiling. He lends her an old inflatable air mattress that smells vaguely of piss. Usually she’d throw more of a fuss, but to hell with it--it’s just the cherry on top of the shit sundae that is her life now. And Demetri, well...blemishes and all, he might well be the only way to keep up appearances. Keep eyes off her, keep the sneers away.

Because, as much as she hates to admit it, he’s the popular one now. Being on his arm is the perfect camouflage.

And so she puts on a happy face. Tells Moon and Sam and everyone else that she’s doing great. That thank god, she finally found a non-douchey genuinely nice guy to be crazy about.

Demetri takes her to parties sometimes. Surprisingly rowdy ones with his new karate friends, one of whom always manages to provide a keg.

The upside is that after a cup of beer, a make-out session or two with Demetri in the back of Sam’s yard doesn’t seem so taxing. The downside is that whenever she’s not lip-locked with her alleged boyfriend, she inevitably fumbles for her phone and is sending Moon a whole slew of drunk texts before she can think better.

The typo-riddled “I LPVEEEE YOIUUUUU”s don’t do much to raise Moon’s concern. Apparently she just dismisses them as “silly drunk girl-best-friend” texts with no deeper layers, because she rarely brings them up later. Or not as more than a light joke or a bit of teasing, anyways.

Thankfully, Yasmine at least has the self-control to stop herself from saying anything too damning. Anything a little too close to the truth. Anything just a bit more vulnerable and real than what she wants her best friend to see.

Anything that raises questions about why she’s showering Moon with drunken affection rather than her own boyfriend.

She senses Demetri’s suspicion sometimes, drifting down from his bed in a heavy fog. Surrounding them in the hallway as their tongues entangle, showing off to the school how very in love they are. Emanating from slightly-raised eyebrows when she leans a little too hard into a seductive hallway whisper, swinging her hips with a heavily-practiced motion that only looks stiff and forced if you look closely.

Every time she sees him, the question seems to be just on the tip of his tongue. The same tongue she is now far too familiar with for her tastes.

Is something on your mind? Is someone on your mind?

Nonetheless, the question never quite makes it out. Yasmine thinks she knows why.

This dance, this little tango they’re doing...she suspects Demetri's intentions aren’t wholly sincere, either. She sees how he looks at Hawk. How distant and distracted he becomes the second Yasmine spots red or purple approaching. How Demetri’s jerky, unnatural movements and stilted, hollow dirty talk mirror her own.

Demetri is ducking for cover just as much as her, hiding behind having the hottest girlfriend in school so no one will see what he really is. And on some level, they both know it.

Yasmine realizes. It’s only a matter of time before Demetri does too, and then...

Eventually, the pretty blonde alibi won’t be worth the exhausting facade. Eventually he’ll be done, and when he leaves, he’ll take her only cover with him.

She’ll be back at square one, alone at the lunch table as Sam and Miguel and Moon and Piper crawl all over each other.

She can only imagine how much harder it will be to hide the truth then--that her thoughts are constantly swimming with Moon, Moon, Moon. The only person to ever really make her feel anything, and Yasmine let the most beautiful and genuine thing in her life slip away.

And Moon...

She’s moved on. Happy with someone else. Confident and secure in herself and her sexuality and finally with someone who loves her loudly and openly.

And how can Yasmine blame Piper? Moon is so beautiful and kind and warm and loving her is as easy as breathing. Piper would have to be unfathomably stupid not to fall for her.

And Moon wouldn’t be with someone unfathomably stupid. Sans a certain red-haired asshole, perhaps.

Yasmine knows she has no right to be jealous. She missed her chance. She’s told herself that a thousand times. But even so...

She wonders if Moon ever thought of her when Piper was with her. Falling in love, like anyone would. And no matter what Yasmine does, she can’t shut off the tiny, insistent, ever-so-selfish voice in her, whispering that one minuscule possibility that comes to mind whenever she looks at the girl she fell in love with a little too late. The new hand weaved into Moon’s, the new arm around her shoulders.

Maybe one day, that could be us.

***

I didn’t mean to write a mini-fanfiction, but oop. I guess I got a little carried away ^^;

Admittedly I’ve always wanted to delve more into Yasmine’s whole closet lesbian shtick, because like. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, but that’s the only way I can make any sense of her drastic behavior change from S3 to S4. Like she was not at all acting like the same person??? The whole being-uncontrollably-obsessed-with-and-horny-for-Demetri thing from S4 was so out of left field that it felt like it had to be inauthentic. Her supposed “interest” in him was also just...bizarrely stiff and wooden in a way that like...even Moon’s interest in Hawk wasn’t??? (And y’all know I hate that ship with the burning passion of a thousand suns lmao) Like Moon liking Hawk didn’t feel fake so much as just super shallow. But with Yasmine and Demetri, it’s not even surface-level, it just...all feels like an act O____o

Tbh it’s weird as fuck and there’s not really any way to explain it (while still treating Yasmine like an actual character) without assuming she’s being disingenuous for some reason. But why??? What reason would Yasmine have for getting into a straight relationship purely for show (seemingly) when she was perfectly happy being single all through S1? She’s clearly not one of those girls who feels like they always have to be in a relationship, so...why does the first one we see for Yasmine, someone canonically very attractive and popular (at least formerly popular), feel so fake???

Well. The only thing that makes any sense is that Yasmine felt some kind of outside pressure to get into a relationship (specifically with a boy, I’d guess) and chose Demetri because he’s relatively good-natured and harmless, and probably won’t cause a lot of problems as far as for-show-only boyfriends go lol (actually tagged Yas in a meme about this exact phenomenon a while back!). After The Wedgie Incident, we know Yasmine’s popularity tanked, so my guess is she felt the need to get an arm candy boyfriend (which Demetri technically counts as, since he got popular as of S3!!!) either because her classmates were starting to gossip about her “perpetual singleness” and using that as just another reason she was an uncool freak, OR her parents started prying about why someone as high on the social food chain as her (relatively speaking) didn’t have a boyfriend yet.

So the only explanation I can think of for Yasmine being so absolutely boyfriendless in S1 and so absolutely unbothered by it is that she’s either a) a lesbian or b) on the acearo spectrum and felt obligated to date out of social pressure. A lot of her ice walls really come down around Moon AND she vibes a lot with another character who’s very definitely a closet gay (Demetri obvs), so I’m betting lesbian. Definitely some flavor of queer, in any case--partly bc of the lack of any interest in boys at ALL in S1 AND because she’s so close with Moon. Moon is canonically queer, and queers often end up being drawn to each other, even before they’re out!!!

Also worth noting that sans Kyler, Yasmine seems to prefer the company of girls to boys. We rarely ever see Yas hang out with guys outside of school--the joyride with Sam and Moon, the weed-smoking date hangout with Moon, even her cafeteria table is all girls. The boys visit sometimes, but not every day! Pretty different from Moon, btw, who is more than happy to hang out with Hawk, Demetri, and Miguel during the first half of S2! Meanwhile Demetri seems to deadass be the ONLY dude Yasmine interacts with at ALL prior to S5 (again, with the exception of Kyler), when she and Eli seem to be friends. The whole thing is just kind of a wacky setup that doesn’t lend itself to me believing Yasmine was ever even attracted to boys. And like I’m sorry but, especially considering how absolutely lifeless their relationship is, I don’t buy for a second that Demetri Fucking Alexopoulos was the first guy Yasmine ever liked/dated in high school like??? She was the queen bee, ffs!!! If she really wanted boyfriends, she would have had many more!!! Or at least alluded to dating boys at all prior to 3 seasons into the show!!!

Yes, yes, I KNOW the honest reason Yasmine does a 180 between S3 and S4 is crappy, inconsistent writing, but that’s no fun so I gotta rise to the challenge of attempting to thread together what little we get of her to make her character make any kind of sense akjshnfiasbpi

BY GOD IF I CAN MAKE A BETTER AND MORE LOGICALLY-TRACKING YASMINE THAN THE SHOWRUNNERS CAN, WHILE USING NOTHING BUT THEIR OWN CRAPPY WRITING FOR HER AND A FEW WELL-BACKED EXTRAPOLATIONS, THEN I WILL

Anyways TL;DR Demetri is Yasmine’s beard and I’m pretty sure Yasmine knew this from the jump. Either that, or she was trying to become “normal” through dating him. I feel like Yas has a lot more internalized homophobia than someone like Moon, who as of S2 became pretty confident and sure of herself and is just generally less concerned with keeping up appearances and is more willing to just openly be herself than Yas. This is the main reason why I don’t think Yasmine would be at the point where she could just. Go out and date a girl like Moon did. We’ve seen that Yasmine cares a lot about her rep, and is probably less likely to risk doing something that might damage it than Moon is. This is probably also why Moon stuck her neck out for the “losers” and abandoned her more well-respected “mean rich girl” ways long before Yasmine did.

OKAY, ENOUGH OF THAT! I’m tired, and a full-blown “Why Yasmine is queer” analysis is a post for another day ^^;

I remember when I was making this moodboard, I was so bummed that this song doesn’t have fancy lyrics aesthetic pics (Fellow Swifties, we gotta remember how fucking BLESSED we are to have people who make Pretty Little Pictures with the lyrics, I stg), and then I realized...wait, my moodboard program has a text feature??? I can just make my own??? And so, for better or for worse, I did!!! This thing is probably WAY too excessive, but...I’m pretty pleased with the end result, so I can’t complain ^^; Apologies in advance that there’s probably WAY too much going on to everyone’s eyes but mine XD

Included a flower guitar pic because Moon canonically plays guitar, lest we forget!!! Multitalented queen!!! VERY glad I got around to fitting in that sparkly pink champagne glass pic and that glowing pink heart pic into a YasMoon moodboard, because I’ve been wanting to use them for quite a while now <3 ALSO when I stumbled across the middle right outfit, I was literally FLOORED by how perfect it is for Moon??? Like please let her wear those exact garments in S6, I will pay if I need to O______O

I can’t pay MUCH, like $20 at most, but I’ll still pay asihpfyg

And yes, I definitely maintain that Yasmine would in fact drunk-text Moon asking her what type of detergent she uses and then proceed to have absolutely 0 filter when gushing she was gonna start using that same detergent. So she can smell like Moon. Because that’s a very normal thing to say XD

Moodboard pic credits available upon request, as always! Lots of YasMoon coming this month :3

[pynkhues]

Top 5 Stewy scenes :)

Y E S, anon. I mean, there's not a Stewy scene I don't love, but my absolute faves are probably:

5. "You have tons of time, seconds, whole minutes. I'm just saying they've got tons of time. (beat) What the fuck?" / "Sandy is the angriest fucking vegetable." – 3.05

Okay, okay, okay, basically I mean every one of his scenes in 3.05, but I shall never recover from his facial expressions in these two beats, haha.

4. Stewy cutting Kendall off from coke in 1.10

Sure, it's a pivotal step on the road to Kendall committing vehicular manslaughter, but I loved the way you could see Stewy weigh up the moment, of trying to read Kendall in the minute and maybe for once misreading. For trying to offer support in the only way he could earlier in the episode (I mean, god, standing between Kendall and Logan, trying to give Kendall a bit of a release with alcohol and drugs before Kendall tried to use it as an escape), and thinking maybe this was where Kendall's night got to end. Annoyed and hurting but passed out in his room, not peeling himself out of a car at the bottom of a lake.

I don't know, I always read an underscoring of love in that act, and it blowing up in both their faces is just the best sort of pain.

3. IT. DOES. NOT. WORK. FOR. US. SIR. in 2.10

Nobody ever tells Logan no, and just the fact that one of the only character's who's ever had the satisfaction of doing it on this show is the childhood best friend of his abused and damaged son - - it's basically narrative perfection. Even on the outs with Kendall, you know Stewy took a very particular pleasure in it. Taking over was what they fantasised about as kids, and Kendall might not have the grit for it, but Stewy sure as hell does.

2. Prague. Just. The entire episode.

God, where do I even start? Completely usurping Tom's bachelor party just so he can see Kendall? Trying to get Kendall to take the money and get out of a business he's not made for? Having such a standing investment in artsy sex parties he can invite other people to it? (The Roy Boys?? Who wants any of them at an artsy sex party??? I choose to believe he had to lie to his girlfriend and say it was Shiv's hen's night not Tom's buck's night because otherwise it simply makes no sense). Also, perhaps most importantly, the LOOK in the ELEVATOR!!

Just y e s. A fave episode all round to be honest, and Stewy's presence is a big part of that.

1. The Confrontation in 2.01

I could almost quote this whole scene back at you, but the raw, heartbroken intensity with which Arian Moayed delivers the line "How did he get at you?" will live rent free in my head forever.

Send me things to rank!