#because then I would question myself too much if it‘s good enough to post

[silentiumdelirium]

Part 1 | Part 2

***

It‘s Dustin. Of course it is. This kid has been cockblocking him since he met him. Although Dustin hadn‘t really cockedblocked him right now had he? I mean Steve didn‘t want to go any further with Eddie, the kiss was just an experiment right? And well the feeling he just had was proof to his theorey, that it doesn‘t matter who‘s gender it is, kissing is kissing. And Steve likes kissing so of course it also felt good with Eddie. He apparently also likes when someone grabs his ass which he hadn‘t know until yet. No girl has ever done that. Also if Dustins knocking hadn‘t interrupted him he would‘ve kept kissing Eddie. But that doesn‘t mean anything it just proofs that Eddie is a good kisser and his mouth is like any mouth right? Oh god why has Steve done this? He feels like he hadn‘t proofed anything to Robin but maybe she has to him?

‚Steve?‘ He lifts his head from his hand and looks up to see Dustin‘s excited face. ‚Oh my god you guys keep hanging out without me! I told you you have to invite me next time‘ Dustin screams and Steve rolls his eyes. He has been a bit clingy since the whole upside down thing happenend again which is probably fair because Eddie almost died in his arms.

‚Nightmare 3 is finally out on video so we‘re gonna make a horror movie night! And i‘m just here to invite Eddie and oh Steve can we use your house? You‘re obviously also invited!‘

‚Oh thank you what an honor to be invited to a movie night which also happens at my house. I guess I also have to provide the movies since I work at the video store?‘

‚Yes exactly thank you‘ Dustins grins ignoring Steve‘s sarcastic tone.

Eddie grins as well. ‚well thank you for inviting me kid! I would be honored to join.‘

Steve rolls his eyes and puts his hand to his hips in the typical babysitter (or mum like Max always says) way.

‚But I‘m not gonna give them to you if they‘re too dark okay? You lot already have enough stuff to fill your nightmares with we don‘t have to add more!‘

Dustin groans and says: ,Relax Steve it‘s not that dark it‘s funny and we‘re sixteen now so we are legally allowed to watch it!‘

Right Steve forgot that they are already fucking sixteen now! Soon they‘re gonna go to party, drink, smoke weed…wait maybe they already doing that? Oh my god what if Eddie and the whole hellfire club is bad influence? I mean Eddie sells drugs so what if he also solds to Dustin and the others? He had to ask Eddie as soon as they were alone again. But as long as they are doing stuff at Steve‘s house he could at least watch them not do anything too stupid.

‚Alright alright you can do your stupid horrormovie night at my house but you have to provide the snacks and everything, I will only provide the videos.‘

‚Yes!‘ Dustins screams triumphant and high fives Eddie. ‚Can you also drive me to Mike now Steve? I mean you have to drive to work anyway right?‘ Dustin asks and Steve looks at his watch. Right work he had to go now so he wouldn‘t be late. He sighs ‚Jesus alright but hurry up don‘t want to be late again!‘ Dustin is already half out the door when Steve looks to Eddie who is standing at the kitchen counter again. Right where they were kissing just minutes ago. ‚Right so I see you tomorrow?‘ Steve asks suddenly very uncomfortable with the whole sitaution. Eddie smiles nervously and avoids looking at him. ‚Sure man see ya.‘ Steve grabs his jackets and moves to the door with one final glance to Eddie who is fidgeting with his rings. Steve tries not to think about how those hands with the rings had felt on his ass and quickly leaves out the door. He definitely has to discuss what just happenend with Robin!

***

Yay managed to write a next part so now you know who‘s at the door @stevesbipanic also you‘re username fits very well here because Steve Bi panic is incoming!!!

[musette22]

hey minnie! I hope this is not too out of topic but I was curious why you decided to do a side-blog and if you‘d recommend it.

I’m new to tumblr and a bit clueless but I’ve been reading your blog and saw you always give amazing answers.

I have many interests but my blog is only really devoted to one because I’m scared people will get annoyed if I reblog or post about other stuff.

just now tho, I’ve seen a post from someone I always like stuff from talking about how it’s pretty rude to not reblog and just like because of the „I like it but it‘s not good enough for my followers to see“ implication. And because tumblr is supposed to be a community and reblogging is the biggest feature.

I know your main blog is also just devoted to evanstan/stucky so I thought you might understand and have some thoughts. So I guess I’m asking what were your reasons to make a side blog and is it better to have several where I might only post very sporadically or should I just say fuck it and put it all in one but risk diminishing my chances at having mutuals? Or just continue liking and not reblogging? I don‘t know tumblr etiquette but you seem very well versed in it and if I’ll listen to someone it‘s definitely gonna be you!

I hope you have a great day and I’m a big fan

Hello sweetheart! ❤️ Thank you for your ask, this is a very interesting question, actually! And I totally understand why you'd be a bit lost here and unsure how to go about this, so I'll do my best to help.

I'll put the rest of my reply under the cut, because it got kind of long (is anyone surprised, really)

First of all, I truly truly think that being on tumblr and blogging should be something that's primarily for your own enjoyment, and I think that you can literally do whatever you like! There may be a bit of etiquette, sure, but there are no real rules (apart from not being an asshole to other people, but that goes without saying). Go wild and have fun, that's the main rule of tumblr imo! <3

Having said that though, I do understand your concerns, specifically with regard to wanting to make mutuals and friends! But also, the liking but not reblogging issue *is* kind of a problem Tumblr has been facing for a while now. I always figured it was mostly due to the influence of Instagram, which it probably is, but it's interesting to get this new perspective. I don't think I'd ever really considered that there are users on this site who *only* like certain things not because they don't like the content enough to reblog it, but because the post doesn't fit their blog's theme and they don't want to spam their followers and mutuals with things they didn't sign up for. That's interesting, and a valid consideration! And also, I really like what you said about Tumblr being a community and reblogging being its biggest feature - you get it!! <3 So I understand your dilemma, and I think making a side blog would definitely solve a lot of it, to be honest.

I personally have a few different reasons for making a side blog for my other fandom instead of just reblogging everything on my main. One of those reasons is that I myself like to curate my dash quite carefully and tailor it to my interests as much as possible. I do that by following blogs that post the kind of stuff I'm interested in of course, but also by filtering pretty much everything I have no interest in. That does mean I get a LOT of filtered posts on my dash, but after a while you kind of learn to tune them out. So because that's how I like to tailor my own dash, the idea of putting lots of stuff my mutuals and followers don't care about on their dashes just doesn't feel right to me. That's not to say I blame anyone else for using their main for all of their interests, because it's their blog, and if that's how they want to do it then good for them! I'll filter out the stuff I don't want to see and then it's all good. But it's just not how I personally wanted to do it, I'm a bit too neurotic for that. Also, because my main has a lot of followers, I'd feel extra bad for spamming so many people with other stuff, you know? 😅

On a related side note, I'll admit that I have unfollowed people whose main blog theme shifted over time from our mutual interest to something I didn't know or care about, but a few posts here and there is not going to be reason for me to unfollow. It really only happens when people completely jump ship, you know? And then there are also people I have become so close with that even that didn't affect our friendship, and I am still mutuals with them just because I like them as people and I enjoy their presence on my dash, even if I don't know what they're talking about half the time 😅 By which I'm trying to say that if you make the right friends, it won't really matter what you post and where!

Another reason for making a side blog is that I liked the freedom a new blog brought to just be as unhinged as I wanted about my other ship and interests without having to keep reiterating on my main that having a "new" interest didn't mean I was giving up my other interests, you know? I like being able to post as much as I like on my sideblog without feeling like I have to hold back for whatever reason. And maybe part of it was also that a side blog allowed me to show a different side to myself there that I don't show on my main a lot? On my side blog, no one knew me or had any expectations of how I talked or what I posted, and it's just good to just do whatever!

I'm not sure if any of that is helpful to you though, if you're still quite new on Tumblr, but maybe it provides a bit of context that might be useful. While I can't tell you for sure what the right way to go about it would be for you, because it differs from person to person, I do think making a side blog (or maybe even more than one) could be a good way to separate your interests, and not having to feel like you're annoying people either by spamming them or by not reblogging their posts. I don't think it necessarily matters if you only post on your sideblogs sporadically, by the way. You can still interact with people in those fandoms and make friends and mutuals even if you don't post constantly! I've made a few new friends in the Milex/AM fandom that only pop in every now and then, and I don't like them any less for it.

It took me a hot minute to get used to having a side blog I used frequently (I have a couple more for Bangs and such, but I don't use them often) and I did accidentally post to the wrong blog quite a bit in the beginning, but it's definitely gotten easier with time! So don't be deterred by that. I'd say, give the side blog(s) a go, and if it doesn't work for you, you can just stop using them and try a different approach! I hope that whatever you settle on will help you have a more enjoyable fandom experience, in any case 💗 Hope this very long winded reply helped a little, lovely! Sending hugs xxx

[jeonjk0504]

Hi! I admire your open minded responses and ethics. You have said in some posts that you believe Taehyung and Jungkook are mutually attracted to each other but that they haven't confessed or consummated. (Please correct me if I got it wrong!) I was wondering why, in your opinion, Taehyung and Jungkook wouldn't just take the leap and be together after being on a journey of so many years? Is it your opinion that homophobic society is holding them back? Is it the risks to the band? They seem like two rich, empowered men to me. Taehyung seems like a very honest and authentic person. And Jungkook tweeted a drawing he made of a famous line from Love Simon. These guys would know that being in a committed same sex relationship is an option, right? I am not saying they could necessarily be open about it but I find the idea of them wanting it but not acting on it challenging.

It is a sentiment that I see in a lot of cis het female dominated spaces that revolve around queer men, or the idea of queer men. It's love, it's attraction, it's everything but the relationship. And the sex. It strikes me as a heteronormative overlay on what queer men can and can't do, as if the relationship is allowed to be sexual and romantic only in y'all's minds. It looks like shipping but it also looks like erasure.

Personally, I do not think that Taekook are together but I could be wrong. Anything is possible. I admire the way you stand up for what is right and role model that it is never ok to be a bully. What people consider 'harmless' is relative. I don't buy any 'ships' in BTS as purely aesthetic relationships. I am a gay person and can't take away my identity while seeing this content. Hovering between the space of 'they are real' and 'I just want them to be real' is a safe space for bloggers to be. But it isn't a great representation of genuine LGBTQ+people. A 25 yr old and a 23 year old aren't nuns.

You don't have to answer this question if you prefer not to, of course. I didn't mean to try to make you defend your interests. Your points of view are as valid as mine.

Hey anon!

Thanks a lot for your interesting questions! :)

My personal feeling of them being mutually attracted to one another but not being in a relationship, stems from the dynamic they have. But i got to say, i‘m never 100% sure. I don‘t think you can tell at the tip of their noses if people are in a relationship, because it‘s mostly based on „what would i say/do/act like in a relationship?“ and that can never be copied onto people, even less if you don‘t know them personally.

What makes me say that though is a mixture of reasons. The biggest of them is simple: their friendship. My personal impression is often, that they feel drawn to each other but they also have a good eye on their responsibilities and possibilities. This is less of something i can „prove“, it‘s simply a feeling i get based on various situations and how i see them act, none in specific. I also imagine to cross the line of friendship, might be a lot harder in a conservative country while being in this wide reaching spotlight in contrast to other spaces. And all the other things you took as an example, can add to that they don‘t have to though (the popularity, the band, the family, …).

Also when i say i get the impression it‘s unspoken, i refer to them talking about that attraction or establishing a mature understanding, i have never said they haven‘t acted on it. Their body language feels like they have, actually. To me at least.

I know they both support LGBTQIA Artists and Art. But supporting it and identifying with it are two different pair of shoes.

And while Taehyung seems very, let‘s say adventurous to me, he has always had a strong affinity to a self-image based on his father. Which might mean you can indulge in something for fun (same sex intimacy) but when it get’s serious (same sex relationships) it‘s better to follow conservative ideals, like a lot of oppressed or erased homosexuals in Homophobic countries do.

This is just a connection i keep thinking about though, not a fact. It‘s only a fact that he views his dad as a role-model, visually and also in the role that he performs. His strong wish for children supports that as well. And i‘m not saying it‘s impossible for same sex couples to start a family with children (at least not where i come from) but in SK it‘s sadly not an option as of now. They‘re neither allowed to marry, nor have a legal partnership which will definitely have an impact on how you approach relationships in any case.

And i keep questioning myself: would you share such a sensitive wish like having kids, knowing fully well that it‘s not an option while being in a serious same sex relationship? Or would you share it in the belief that laws will change in the future or you will („somehow“) end up with a woman to make it happen? It may be nitpicky of me to question that, but i see it as a possible indicator of Taehyung not being in a serious same sex relationship as of now, because i feel like his desire to have children in some way, has always been noticeably strong and if he shares his wishes in such a carefree way, maybe his wish is in no danger.

Btw i know a lot of TKer i talk to disagree with me on this and they don‘t think it has to mean anything! 😌 and to be fair: we have the same amount of possible indicators that speak in favor of a relationship. I feel like i‘m talking a lot about why i think they‘re not, rather in what way they could actually be… (very ironic, looking at my blog)

Jungkook on the other hand is a little romantic to me, but he seems very careful too not like someone who just takes the leap (i‘m not saying shy, pretty sure he got over that a few years ago for the most part..).

There is a lot more, but it would take up too much space to elaborate so i hope it‘s okay i only gave a small reason for now.

Concerning your criticism on cishet spaces, they are of course valid and it‘s important to keep an eye on that and call out people who hurt the community. I don‘t feel comfortable with you associating me in that space though, because i doubt you actually know from what perspective i am sharing my opinions. I also use BTS neither for hetero nor LGBTQIA representation because i don‘t know what they identify as. It goes both ways. You might see it as hovering in a safe space, but for me that safe space is mostly there out of respect, not because i don‘t feel brave enough to take a stance.

I thank you for your respectful questions! :) it was interesting to reflect on why i view them the way i do. Please always feel free to share your opinions with me 🥰 have a nice day!!

[ryanberga]

tbh i’d love to see ur paragraphs abt ryan & i’m sure other people would too,,,,,,post it?👀

ok *deep breath*

we all always joke about ryan being this dumb himbo jock archetype to shane’s academically-inclined strange man archetype which is funny as hell those jokes are funny and all in good fun but!! let’s not forget that ryan is actually not dumb at all!

let’s talk about ryan & shane’s dynamic and the whole boogara vs. shaniac thing. there’s a decent amount of people who see ryan saying “i believe in ghosts & demons & the supernatural & funny little conspiracy theories,” and then they see shane saying “all that is bullshit, i’m a skeptic & i believe in science,” and they jump to the conclusion that therefore, shane is smart and ryan is dumb, or shane is smarter than ryan, and that’s simply not true!! ryan’s belief system is inherently different from shane’s, but that does not mean he is stupid for it! shane is very outwardly and vocally interested in things like history and science, and i think that’s another reason people tend to fall into the belief that shane is smart and ryan is dumb, but, again: simply not true! just because ryan isn’t as interested in typical academic pursuits doesn’t mean he’s dumb, and i think it’s actually a very problematic mindset to equate someone’s intelligence with like the core subjects you learn in school.

ok, now let’s talk about bfu. let’s talk about how bfu was entirely ryan’s brain baby and how groundbreaking the format of it was. let’s talk about how no other supernatural or true crime shows presented its information the way that bfu does. let’s talk about how when bfu started, ryan did 100% of the work for it. he did the research, the writing, the editing, etc etc all on his own. let’s talk about how much work he put into it and how passionate he was about it. let’s talk about how the format is so smartly done & unique & original. let’s also talk about how no matter how much evidence shane presents that directly contrasts ryan’s theories, ryan stays true to himself and believes in what he believes in and refuses to be swayed. let’s talk about how even when shane blatantly dismisses ryan’s beliefs or insults him or teases him for his beliefs, ryan doesn’t budge. i also think it’s so impressive that ryan remains genuinely curious about these things and continues to believe in these things even when someone (who he cares about & respects!) is consistently telling him his beliefs are bullshit.

ok, now let’s talk about watcher. i’m not going to talk about how much courage it must have taken to leave buzzfeed to create a completely original company because that goes without saying, and it’s been talked about enough before. instead, i’m going to talk about spooky small talk specifically for a second. the fact that both steven and shane have said that spooky small talk is the biggest undertaking that any of them pursued for any of their shows is! pretty impressive! the amount of work that had to have gone into that show is really mindblowing to think about, to have to deal with the scare actors and all the noises and getting through the maze while asking questions and staying engaged with the interviewee. it’s a lot to deal with, and ryan does it fantastically, and he makes it look so effortless, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to create.

and then there’s here’s what you do, which i think is a good example of ryan showing that he’s very smart when it comes to emotions and self-care. very often in hwyd, he talks about emotions and self-care in ways that surprise me with how succinctly he’s able to put sort of complex thoughts into words. personally, i also think he gives some of the best and most thoughtful answers (when they’re actually giving serious answers and not talking about piss & shit, that is).

and just a couple more things about ryan i want to point out before i finish this off: no matter what ryan does, in everything he pursues, he seems to me to remain completely genuine to who he was at the start of this all, way back when he was still making videos with brent. he never changes his belief system, no matter what shane or anyone else says to him. he remains compassionate and unashamedly himself in all his pursuits. everything he does is imbued with so much fun. he wants to have fun, and he wants his audience to have fun along with him, and i think it‘s very evident that this is the case.

also, if you listen to ryan speak, like, in watcher weeklys or hwyd or whatever? it seems to me like he says everything with intention, and it seems like most things he says are pretty well thought out (again, when he’s not being purposefully silly). also! he has a great vocabulary! as an english major myself, i am often surprised by some of the words he throws out very casually in conversation!

and one last point, bringing it back to my first paragraph: just because he’s not as into things like history and science, he is still very well-versed in a lot of other things that speak to an inherent intelligence. first of all, it’s been established that he knows tons about true crime and conspiracies and supernatural stuff. he’s also very well-versed in pop culture, and more than just movies & tv shows! he’s spoken lots about books, and music, and podcasts, and video games! (and also don’t forget that he’s mentioned multiple times how he maintained i believe a 3.9 gpa throughout all of high school & college while also involving himself in sports & extracurriculars & a fraternity! gpa is bullshit, but that’s still pretty impressive if you ask me!) 

(edit: also!! the fact that both shane and steven said ryan was the one who was the most prepared in terms of banging out content should something like a pandemic occur before covid was even a thing!! let’s not sleep on that fact, wow!)

((edit pt. 2: also! my total bad for not appreciating his sense of humor! he’s such a funny guy! and so quick-witted! i think his sense of humor on its own is enough to demonstrate how very obviously Not Dumb he is!))

tl;dr: does ryan lean into the dumb jock archetype? sometimes, yes, i think he does. i think he thinks it’s funny to play dumb (and it is!). but is ryan actually dumb? no fuckin way! ryan is smart & talented & very hard-working & passionate & just an all-around great guy. put some respect on his name

[kwonhoshi0]

It‘s good that so many people find comfort in different fictional characters. I do too, but i just can‘t stop thinking that they are not real and i‘m just so alone. And will be forever. That i‘m so pathetic that i can‘t even do the things i want to change for me and that i‘m worthless. I know that you’re going to tell me i‘m not and so on, but in the end it just doesn’t matter, right? You’re som stranger and i am for you too. Thousands of people could tell me otherwise but i would still be alone and boring. Why am i like this? And i can‘t even change that. I don‘t even know why i‘m crying like this. The only thing i can feel right now, is my heart that hurts so much that the pain makes its way to my fingertips. Not only that but the tears that flow down my faces and burn like hell, because my cheeks feel so hot. The embarrassment i feel all the time, the loneliness that makes me feel like dying and that one question that keeps pounding in my head. It hurts so much but i can‘t stop thinking about it and eats me up inside like a worm inside an apple. I just want an answer to that one question. Why am i doing this to myself? Why do i let this happen to me? Why am i not doing anything about it? So many different question but they all have the same meaning. It hurts and i could change it, but i why am i not doing it then?

How is this? Do i have talent in writing or is this shit? Be honest, you don‘t even know who i am so i guess its okay. Tell me what you like or what i should change. I kinda want to start a posting writings too. Just want to know what i could do better. Also drink enough water and eat enough!! Stayyyy healthyyy!

i think writing is something that you can feel on a deeper scale then what words are, you feel so much when writing because it comes from you and your experiences and if someone’s writing and own work can make you feel so much that doesn’t make anyone pathetic, it makes us so strong, we’re creating People in our minds, they may not be real but are we even real? nothings real not really so why aren’t they?. they’re alive in our minds which make them alive right now.

that made me feel so much because i relate with all of it and that’s what makes you an amazing writer, you made me feel something. personally it takes so much to make me feel happiness or sadness because i feel weak when i feel anything other than nothing, if that makes sense and you made me me feel so much with your writing even if it was just a paragraph i almost started sobbing because of how much i resonated with it :3

[comicteaparty]

April 15th-April 21st, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from April 15th, 2020 to April 21st, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

If all webcomics everywhere suddenly costed money to read, how much would you be willing to pay to read them?

carcarchu

i've currently spent about 10 dollars reading paid webcomics and got about 60 chapters with that much. i'll be buying more webcomics in the future but if it's too pricy i'll be less inclined to buy

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I buy the print volumes of my favourite webcomics, which is about £10-15 for around 100-200 pages? Depends on the comic. But I do get a book to leaf through, so dunno if that counts.

carcarchu

as an added note the app i use to buy webcomics has an interesting feature where u can purchase "food" to donate to the author directly without / in addition to buying the chapters themsevles(edited)

oh now that chalcara mentioned it i also buy the physical copies of webcomics as well and i've probably spent close to 100ish on that

also also that same app gives u daily login coins and u can also watch up to 5 video ads per day to gain extra coins which u can use to buy more chapters or donate directly to the author

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I DID try a monthly subscription to a rather specific comic content webpage, but I don‘t like that comittment. Vastly prefer buy-once-keep-something-forever; even if it‘s just pdf.

Yeah, have bought pdf‘s of comics before because of shipping expenses.

So yeah, buy once, get something, yay! Subscription, boo.

carcarchu

i had to buy a monthly subscription thing for a webcomic once too but it was a completed comic and the app has a download button so i just downloaded all the chapters of it all at once. i could see the monthly payment being annoying if u had to keep paying it in perpetuity though

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've paid for comics before

I'd probably pay to keep reading the comics I love

but I'd be reluctant to invest money to read a new comic i don't know is good or not

i'd need a good friend, person I follow, or well written review's recomendation first(edited)

Feather J. Fern

I will buy physical copies most of the time. I do like having the print in my hands. If it was like a site sub though, like you can put your comics on a site and everyone gets paid a share, then I wouldn't mind because you get options.

But if it is just one comic though, I would be worried,

For example, if people were paid to upload onto Webtoons, but you have to pay like 5 dollars for reading for 1 month, I wouldn't mind because I still can choose what to read

But if for example, my comic is five dollars to read monthly by itself, I don't htink people want it

Especially new readers

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah i think that I wouldnt want to have to spend money to try a comic. Im really very picky and I wouldnt want to risk basically just losing money because I dont like a comic. To continue reading the ones I like I think I'd spend money, but honestly I'd probably only do that once they're complete, too. A monthly payment/subscription for a service with many comics, though, I could see myself paying for

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Depends. I’m fine with paying it at once to read it in one go, but not necessarily per month

Also would pay if I got to see a preview first

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

As a reader, I also prefer to know what the comic is about first, before committing to pay to read it, like going in blind. I prefer the subscription option to read any comic but not per comic chapter. I like to support the authors if the story appeals to me or purchase their ebooks(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I would likely pay to keep reading the ones I'm already into. But I would be very reluctant to check out new ones if I had to pay to even check them out. The first few pages aren't enough in most cases. I also wouldn't be averse to the subscription idea, assuming the platform isn't like, catering to a genre that I'm not interested in. Physical volumes actually don't interest me in most cases. Storage is a huuuuuge issue for me.

DanitheCarutor

Depends on digital vs. physical, the amount of content and quality. Usually I prefer a physical copy since I like collecting indie comics and am willing to pay 10USD - 30USD, I'll even pay high price for hardcover collector editions if I really, really like the creator's work. Like, I actually have a section of my bookshelf dedicated to printed webcomics, which isn't very full yet but I plan on practically overcumbering it someday. Digital copies and subscriptions, I'm oddly a little more stingy about. I tend to forget about stuff like that very easily, so to save myself from wasting money I would have to be almost a mindless fanatic about the webcomic to buy it digitally or keep up with a weekly/monthly pay subscription. As far as price, if it's a subscription I can't afford a whole lot since I'll probably be trying to take on multiple comics, a digital copy I may pay around the same amount as with a physical book.

I'm not too picky about what I would buy, if it looks really good or interesting I'll maybe subscribe to give it a look through, or buy a chapter/volume if I can afford it. Worst that would happen is I didn't like it after all but supported an indie creator trying to get their work off the ground. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I actually have in fact read many pay-to-read webcomics, and my experience has been somewhere in the middle. I think the most important thing is that the webcomic in question has the first few chapters as free-to-read so that new readers can get a feel for the story, because I wouldn't pay for something I didn't know I would like. The other things is for comics to be affordable. I'm not very wealthy, so the price of a comic chapter needs to be pretty cheap for me to invest. $1 per chapter is the absolute highest limit, and the chapter has to be at least 10+ pages. I'm way more willing to spend more money on print comics because it is something physical that I can put on my shelf, and because I know printing costs can be expensive.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

No way I'd pay to read a comic without having at least the first chapter free. Even if people are recommending it to me, I still want to see it for myself first. But even then... I don't know if I would spend money on an online subscription - I'd probably wait to see what people are saying about it, save my money, and shell out a bit extra for a print edition (if that's in the cards for the comic). If a comic is free online, I feel even more like supporting it with a physical purchase. If a webcomic is locked behind a paywall... I get it, but it certainly discourages me as a reader.

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Same here really. I much prefer giving money to a Patreon or buying merch for something I love than pay to take a chance on something I might not like

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I agree. I don't mind subscription if it's someone's work I enjoyed but I'm more inclined to buy physical copies or get my own digital pdf of the same thing tbh

Feather J. Fern

I wouldn't mind an idea of like, you get 1 page free a month (Slow I know) but you can buy the full thing now as an Ebook or something. That system would help the author get money (for people who want to support and love their comic from the slow post rate) and great for people who can't afford comic, and read them free at the library becuase they can't even afford computers at home.

I like the print comics too for libraries, gives comics more free access

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ah imagine if we could check out print webcomics at the library now

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

there is a few libaries that are doin that

Feather J. Fern

Yes! Actually, a few librarians went to Vancaf as long as it has an ISBN it makes it easier (Well we hope there is a copy catalogue somewhere lol) And I know in the US there are a lot more librarians grabbing comics for their shelves

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yesss which makes it super good

makes me wish I could go to my local libary but like everything else here, it's currently closed orz

Feather J. Fern

Hell, from a podcast I know there is a large interest in comics for libraries, and I know recently they are using comics to try to bring more literacy to people who don't want to read.

This might be off topic I will move it somewhere else

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Maybe when I get mine printed I'll go see if the local library would like a few

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

that is why I'm going to be a teacher. Get more people use comics for education lol

GuildmasterPhill

The tricky thing would be finding new comics to get into... how would you get exposed to them? And there are so many, how would you know which ones are worth whatever pricetag goes with them? It would certainly change the whole landscape of webcomics, to be sure.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It would probably increase the demand for webcomic reviews.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

yeah

And again, the first few chapters being available as a sample would be really important.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Put in requests for webcomic print collections at your local library! They probably won't get bought during the lockdown, but at least your interest will be on record when the librarians get back.

Mine stocks some, although it's skewed toward really well-known ones -- Homestuck, Digger, Nimona, Cucumber Quest, Skin Horse, Penny Arcade, Gunnerkrigg Court (there's more, I just can't remember them off the top of my head).(edited)

Capitania do Azar

If I have to pay before I can know if I'll like the contents? I'd probably pass, unless there was some other big incentive for me to read it (like a friend's recommendation). Paywalls can be a big turnoff if you don't know what you're paying for, that's what I'm saying. However, if there were previews or free chapters, and then I had to pay to read the rest? I'd probably invest those €€€.

kayotics

I read Stand Still Stay Silent at the library, actually. That’s how I managed to actually get into it, I felt like it was a better experience. As for paying: I will sometimes buy a physical book of a comic I want to read but haven’t yet, just because reading on paper is easier on my eyes. So, sometimes I’ll pay money if I’m really interested in it. But it usually takes me a while to get to that point. If every webcomic went to a paid platform, I’d probably be less likely to read Webcomics.

Feather J. Fern

A thought occurred to me, if all webcomics are paid to read, how would the newbies, or highschoolers, get an audience at all if no one would buy to read their comic?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The under 18 creators does pose an interesting question -- are they allowed to make money at all? Would they have to get their parents to sign a thing for them?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I believe so

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

As for small creators with no existing fans, I imagine they'd have to rely on subscription platforms where readers don't have to pay for their comic specifically.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yeah, or just make no money like now

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

well, it would just also mean no readers because in this world, there isn't even an option to make no money in this world, the webcomic emperor has decreed that all webcomics must cost money to read, and you shall be thrown into The Pit if you make yours free

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Exactly

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

actually i guess you could kinda get around it by making your comic cost a penny

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

But yeah, you'd also not have readers and be unable to build a following

Basically the barrier to entry shifts and becomes more like traditional print publishing

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Slightly different from trad publishing since anybody CAN still post up their comic -- even if no one would read it X'D

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

TRUE

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

actually you know what it would kinda be like? steam like basically any game devs from the smallest indie devs to the massive corporations publish their PC games through steam. and to my knowledge, all games on steam cost at least some money so indie creators' only option to get eyes on their comic would be the same as indie devs getting eyes on their game. find someone popular willing to review it, and hope for some word of mouth.

Feather J. Fern

Odd take, hold a seminar or not really that but a group gathering where people pay like, 2 dollars, because money still needs to happen, so a bunch of newbie comic artists and pitch their first chapter or something

Oh wait I know what my brain was thinking

like comixlogy

If you can have like a section like "New comics starting out, you can read the whole first chapter for just 0.99" then I might scroll through and be like "You know what, I wouldn't mind some entertaiment"

I think also defintely reviews are really important with this situation

If someoene was like "This art is good, plot is good, grammar is good" I woudl be like "Yeah I would read the first three chapters"(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Steam sounds about accurate

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I definitely think that in this case, good reviews would be like gold

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Even Print comics do freebies to rustle up new audience. And steam has a pretty lenient „don‘t like this game? Get your money back“ policy.

RebelVampire

For me the answer here depends on a lot of factors. If it's a one time "bulk" purchase, I'd probably go from $5-$10 depending on amount of pages, time to read, and just overall quality. I'd of course have to be interested as well, but that's an aside point for me in terms of what I'd be willing to pay. Anything past $10 is just kind of too rich for my blood sort of thing, unless it's like a super volume or something. As a subscription, this would heavily depend on the service. How are they curating content? Do they add more content regularly? How much content do they have? How are they innovating to improve my experience as a reader and to be able to find content? How is the industry as a whole? Are there a few competitors making it an affordable option, or is it becoming like tv cable because everyone wants their slice of the pie? With this many questions, it's hard to put a price on a subscription service. Definitely no more than I pay for Hulu or Netflix. But honestly, with the state of the industry right now, I don't think the price would be justified if they made it even like $10/month. Cause as it stands none of the hosts really do anything to improve my experience as a reader and only make things harder for everyone.

Feather J. Fern

This topic makes me love webcomics more, people are giving it to us for free, and It is amazing the internet can give someone an outlet to do so. Thank you internet

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

If you can have like a section like "New comics starting out, you can read the whole first chapter for just 0.99" then I might scroll through and be like "You know what, I wouldn't mind some entertaiment"

@Feather J. Fern dang I would sign up so fast if there was a good subscription service like this. And same time it helps give something back to New creators!

Feather J. Fern

To be honest, if I had the money, and the power, and the programing skills I would. I would love to support creators like this. Becuase it also gives people confidence too.

[parkapetrs]

in the middle 01 | college!peter parker x reader

summary: in which you and a shy awkward boy named peter parker waltz in the gray area between friends and lovers

word count: 1k+

PARTS: 01 02 03 04 05

01: sandwiched

You didn’t know what a grilled cheese sandwich was supposed to taste like until today. A row behind you, Ned Leeds rambles on to one of his friends as he has been for most of the lecture. “The bread should be just between crisp levels 3 and 4! And the cheese? Only medium rare. Obviously.” You don’t understand the fuss. It’s just a sandwich. Still, you listen on because between the laws of thermodynamics going on at the front of the room and Ned’s own little discussion at the back, the latter seems the lesser of two boring evils.  

The lecture ends and everyone races outside the room. MJ is waiting for you by the door, scrolling mindlessly on her phone. She looks more tired than usual with puffy eyes and hair wildly sticking every which way like she just rolled out of bed.

“I hope you took down notes ‘cause I slept through the whole thing,” she says.

Ah.

The two of you walk out of the class and you start to talk about Ned and the sandwich and the existence of medium rare cheeses and different crisp levels. MJ nods in agreement. “Such a cultured man, that Leeds.”

“Hey MJ!”

Ned is walking towards you—MJ, to be more accurate—with a number of books cradled in his arms, threatening to topple over. Still, he manages to wave. Trailing behind him is his best friend, Peter Parker, who is completely on the opposite end of the spectrum. Where Ned Leeds was loud and chatty, Peter Parker was shy and only really talked when asked a question.

“What’s up?” MJ leans on the gray lockers lining the hallway. You busy yourself with yours, replacing and taking textbooks that you and MJ planned to read over the weekend.

“Are you going to Liz’s tonight?”

“Sorry, Ned. Y/N and I are studying. Midterms are next week.” She looks at you for a moment and adds, “But tell Liz I said hey.”

“That’s next week!” Ned whines. “Hey, you know what? You should bring Y/N, actually.”

Ned’s mention of your name was your cue to join in on their conversation. “Who’s Liz?”

“We went to high school with her. She’s taking up business—I think—in Green?” MJ looks to Ned for confirmation. He nods. Green is a much larger university than yours and is a 20 minute ride away. “Today’s her birthday.”

“Then you should definitely go! I’ll be fine, MJ. Really.”

“Only if you’re coming with me!”

You shake your head and laugh. “Seriously? I don’t even know the girl! Besides, I’ve already conditioned myself for a night of Netflix.”

“Fine.” MJ sighs and you and Ned share the feeling of pride people get only when they win against the Michelle Jones. For the first time since the two boys arrived, she finally acknowledges Peter Parker… with a sly wink. “He’ll need me to wingman, anyway.”

“Oh shut up, MJ.” Peter turns a shade of red. Ned lets out a laugh and waves you both a goodbye, dragging Peter along with him.

As you walk to your shared apartment, MJ tells you an unsolicited overview on Liz Toomes. From what you gather, this Liz was captain of the decathlon team who had to leave high school suddenly after an incident. “Tragic, really. I think she and Peter would have gotten somewhere if things turned out differently.”

“Peter Parker?” It was hard to imagine the socially-awkward boy having close relationships with anyone other than Ned, let alone a girl who MJ described as ‘your typical popular bitch, except she was smart and not really a bitch’.

“Yeah,” she continues. “Had a crush on her all of high school.”

oOoOo

You decide to retire for the night after finishing season 3 of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. After texting MJ to be quiet when she gets back, you do your nightly ritual of scrolling through all your social media accounts. On Instagram, Ned has a photoset up. Your curiosity about Liz has you swiping through the pictures: two selfies of Ned holding up a red solo cup; a group photo of MJ, Ned, and a tall brunette who you’re assuming is Liz; and a photo of Peter Parker laughing and holding up two bottles of Grey Goose in each hand.

What?

Peter Parker never struck you as the type to get wild at parties, or wild at all. Then again, you’ve never talked to him enough to get a solid impression. You lock your phone, dive deep into your sheets, and wait for sleep to come.

It‘s around two-thirty in the morning when you hear it. The sound of heavy feet dragging across the wooden floorboards of the living room. The doorknob shakes loudly and your bedroom door flies open.

“…MJ?”

“Oh—! Um, h-hi, Y/N. Sorry if I woke you… erm… This isn’t MJ’s room, is it?”

Peter Parker is standing in your doorway.

The boy just keeps surprising you today.

You flick on your bedside lamp. In the dimness of the room, you see MJ has an arm around Peter and is limply hanging onto him like a ragged doll.

“What happened?” you ask, walking past him and over to MJ’s room. “Follow me, her room’s over here.”

“She’s uh… really, really w-wasted—sorry—yeah, you knew that already…,” he laughs weakly. “Well, put simply, I saw her slumped near a lamp post.” Peter drags MJ to the bed and gently drops her. She lets out a noise you can’t comprehend and burrows herself in the covers.

“Jesus. That is just sad, even for her,” you say, rummaging around for an Advil and a water bottle, which you place on her bedside table. “Thanks for taking her, Parker. Sorry you had to leave the party.”

“N-Not at all! I left hours ago… I was on my way home and just happened to see her.”

“So you were just casually ‘out’ at two in the morning…?” you tease, an effort to lighten the air. Peter’s eyes widen as he stammers, struggling to form words. Immediately, you feel conscious about asking. You aren’t even friends so he shouldn’t have to explain anything to you. In the end, the atmosphere is dripping heavily with awkwardness. “Um, never mind. Do you want anything to drink before you go?”

“I-I’m good… thanks, Y/N.” You can tell he’s uncomfortable, looking everywhere in the room but at you. “Should I go now?—I mean—I should go now.”

You hold the door open for him and he scurries out. The last thing you see are his ears, which are burning red. Shutting the door behind you, you giggle as you recall the events that just transpired. In addition to, he was wearing a blue Midtown High sweater which–based on Ned’s photo–you knew he wore to Liz’s house party, too. Awkward and dorky as he is, Peter Parker is almost adorable.

On your way back to your room, you walk past the television which right now is a black mirror reflecting your own image back at you.

Your jaw drops.

Peter looking uncomfortable the entire time. Peter seemingly afraid to look at you. Peter‘s ears.

To think that just a moment ago, you were studying his outfit closely but hadn’t even bothered to think of what you were wearing: a loose white shirt and a pair of black lace underwear.

[dhominis]

Life updates! Rambling, happy. CW for disordered eating and Bad Family Dynamics. (Happy despite this.)

I’ve been in my new apartment for a while; it‘s amazing and I love having a place that is mine. A few days after I moved in, I stayed over at my girlfriend’s house because I didn’t really want to put the effort into going all the way back to my apartment and I had this thought: I want to go home.

This is not something I’ve experienced before. Home always has been my parents’ house, and home’s always been a place for caution, for guardedness. It has not historically been a place I wanted to stay. It’s been a place that’s better than the alternatives, but never somewhere that was itself comforting.

...And now going home means I get to go into my room (and it’s mine, I would be entirely justified in being angry if someone went into it and looked through my things and took things and questioned me about what they found). And then I can reorganize my room if I want (I can move furniture around! I can buy furniture! I can throw broken things away if I want to!), I can cook something, take a shower without having to justify why I’m taking a shower, I can clean up the side yard if I’m restless, I can clean the apartment. I can be in my room on my phone talking to my girlfriend, and probably nobody is listening in, and if somebody is listening in that’s still not dangerous. I can go on a walk, I can go over to a friend’s place, I can meet people somewhere, and I don’t have to explain this.

I don’t have to be on guard.

Been doing social things – poly community and, uh, adjacent less-SFW communities. Socializing is... easier now. (A lot of things are easier!) I am still extremely awkward but not in an intractable way; I expect this to dissipate with practice. People like me. They’ll like me more when I have better social skills and this is achievable.

...I asked a cute girl what her favorite pathogen/parasite was (this was relevant to the conversation!) and she said she really liked botflies and just. I can’t. I have always had to be the one who brings up botflies! Talking about botflies historically has worked out really well for me – it’s a great filter? – and I am so incredibly enthused about this. (We’re getting coffee tomorrow. I really need evo-bio disease-bio friends, and she is smart and nice and extroverted and gives great hugs. Things like “asking cool people to get coffee with me” also are easier. And “sending an email” and “answering the phone” and a lot of things along those lines. There has been a strangely global reduction in inhibition and anxiety.)

I got a job. Not the call center one I mentioned, instead entry-level healthcare. It’s pretty much ideal! Learning skills, interacting with people, IIRC they’ll do some tuition reimbursement if I go into healthcare (that’ll help until I hit the FAFSA independent student age cutoff). Fast-paced work, twelve-hour shifts and free time on my days off. Not having to self-motivate. I think I need that right now. The person who suggested I apply for this job can model my brain surprisingly well.

(In some contexts better than I can. I hadn’t generated this as a career option, hadn’t thought it would be even sort of good until he explained how it might fit. A post a while ago: "...he understands, I think, the need to be active and moving, doing a lot of different things, short feedback cycles. For me – probably for him as well – high-intensity stressful periods of limited duration are regulating or calming, not harmful. I keep fantasizing about getting the job, just going nonstop at maximum intensity for those twelve-hour shifts, and then coming home and… not doing that. Being able to use the time for other things, hopefully having burned off some of the excess energy so I’m not pacing around organizing things really fast for twelve hours at home.”)

And they’re giving me health insurance after a few months.

It’s... I really need enrichment. I need to be busy. Right now I am not in a high-stress environment and I am waiting for things to happen, there is not much I can get done right now (lots of cooking, going on walks, occasional bodyweight exercise, self-teaching reading ECG strips, but I am not yet good at self-motivation). I am the human equivalent of a pretty competent border collie that will, if left without adequate stimulation, herd every squirrel in the neighborhood into your kitchen.

But I start work Monday, and after that things will be easier.

Almost everything has, in fact, been easy. I can feel many of the anxieties falling away, many of the maladaptive behaviors. I am investing effort in this, but not enough to merit the improvement.

I have been realizing that living with my parents took up so much mental bandwidth. The personality and cognitive and life-skills improvements that I’ve seen in the few brief periods I’ve been away from them... I should’ve left earlier, of course. I would have been okay. I didn’t know that before recently, but it would’ve have been better.

So the cognitive changes are substantial. Behavioral too. I have for a while had great difficulty in eating adequate food – I mean, often going a few days without eating, going months with inadequate caloric intake, rapid enough unintentional weight loss that doctors have been loudly concerned. (There is a physical thing that I have been blaming completely for this, but honestly it’s not just that, there’s an irrational aversion to eating. Caloric deprivation always makes me want to eat less – want to hoard food, conserve it for when I really need it. I go into a famine mindset very easily; when hungry, I find it difficult to alieve that food is available. And the physical problems are worsened by not wanting to eat. I tolerate food worse when I don’t make myself eat regularly.)

It’s not effortless; minor inconveniences tend to make me want to stop eating and I don’t ever really want food. (Cooking and baking my own food helps. It is easier to want to eat when eating is part of a skill-building process.) But now, and not before: I need adequate nutrition and when I don’t want to eat I can just tell myself no, you need food, you want to feed yourself, you don’t want to lose muscle mass, you don’t want to lose fat, you don’t have to conserve food because there will always be enough. And I miss meals sometimes, still... but when that happens, I can make myself eat when I notice. Peanut butter interspersed with enough water doesn’t really feel like food and I can pretty much always do that.

And sleeping. And physical activity. And social interaction. It is getting easier to give myself the things I need. Sometimes when you do not have any realistic chance of global comfort, when your life will despite your best efforts be almost unbearably unpleasant, choosing your own mode of suffering makes it easier to tolerate. Adjusting to a situation in which I do not need to expect suffering is... strange.

So – I got a job and an apartment and I’m finding a friend group and I am doing okay with finances, and long-term things will be okay, and my brain has so many things wrong with it but I am fixing myself.

This all has been startlingly easy so far and I am waiting for something to go wrong. This is prudent – something will go wrong eventually, I’ll be able to handle it but it will happen – and also just really neurotic. Still I’m less neurotic than at any other point in my life.

And I have health insurance! I probably can get an ADHD evaluation and treatment, therapy if I decide that’s a good idea, whatever. (Potential issue with ADHD treatment: I’d have to go to the pharmacy like every month, it would suck so much, I have never done this successfully. Thankfully there is a pharmacy in my workplace. I am so lucky.) And I have social supports, I have a community. My roommates are great. I have my partner; she’s unbelievably amazing.

Leaving has gone better than the realistic best-case scenarios I’d generated. It’s been like a month and there is definitely time for things to go badly but I also think things going badly will be less bad than I had expected it to be, if that makes sense.

I’m happy. I expect to stay that way.

[ladyhavilliard]

Since Before We Met

Part 1

--> Next Part

My Masterlist

Summary: Feyre Archeron is moving to Velaris to study art at Velaris University. Not only can her dream of becoming an artist come true, but she’s finally meeting her best friend- Rhysand, a boy she met through Tumblr three years ago.

Pairing: Feyre Archeron x Rhysand 

If you want to be tagged in this fic or any of my works, send me an ask. 

This is the first multichapter I’ve ever written and even though I’ve already posted it on my old blog, I’m still excited to show it to you again. For everyone who’s reading it for the first time, or if by any chance some of you decide to read it again - Thank you. I really hope you like how this turned out. There are 8 parts in total. I’ll upload twice a week.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, inhaling the sweet scent of overpriced coffee and butter croissants. The sound of people dragging their suitcases, the loud talking and the flight announcements could be heard from everywhere around, making the airport too noisy for anyone‘s liking. But there was something else, something new, but somehow familiar, that made this place so very wonderful.

Velaris. I had finally made it to Velaris, the city where dreams came true.

The city where he lived.

And just when I thought about him, my phone buzzed from inside my pocket. I smiled, already knowing what I would see.

1 unread message from Rhys

I clicked on the notification, then bit my lip to hide the ever-growing smile.

Hello, darling. Welcome to Velaris.

I rolled my eyes at the name he always called me, but couldn‘t stop the heat that crept its way to my cheeks.

Is that it? I asked. I expected a welcome party. Or at least a wonderful present. Where‘s the fic you promised you‘d write me?

I didn‘t expect him to do anything, if I was being honest. Though I wasn‘t lying for the fanfiction- he promised to write me one months ago. I couldn‘t blaim him, I still hadn‘t shown him the fanart I did for him, either.

It was partly how we met, though I don‘t know if „met“ was the right word. We have never seen each other.

Three years ago, he found my blog on Tumblr. I had made it after I read the „Throne of Glass“ book series and started painting characters and scenes I liked. Rhys had a fandom blog too, but instead of painting, he loved writing. One day he saw my art and was inspired to write a multichapter, which I turned out to be obsessed with. At first, we talked about the books we loved. Later, this thing between us grew into a real friendship, we texted each other every single day ever since and had often talked trough video chat. He helped me trough the worst time of my life and became my closest person. Not even my sisters knew me so well.

And after three years, I was finally going to meet him in person.

Isn‘t seeing me a present good enough? Rhys typed back.

Prick.

Always for you, darling.

Then the three dots, announcing he was writing something, appeared. They stayed for a minute, too long for the few words he ended up sending me.

I‘m sorry I can‘t meet you at the airport.

I rolled my eyes. He had told me the night before, that it was his cousin‘s birthday and he had promised to give her a ride.

It‘s fine, Rhys. I‘m not a damsel in distress and you don‘t need to pretend to be the prince in shiny armor. I‘m perfectly capable of going to the university myself.

I know that. And you have to admit black suits are much more handsome than shiny armor, so I may not be a prince, but you still won‘t be able to take your eyes off of me.

You are impossible, I replied, trying- and obviously failing- not to smile.

It isn’t a bad thing, you know? Because I won’t be able to look at something that’s not you, too.

I blushed once more, happy that he wasn‘t there to see it.

I‘ll see you soon, was the only thing I texted before shoving my phone back into my pocket.

 The ride to the college was a fast one. I took a cab from the airport and after around 20 minutes, I was standing in front of Velaris University of Arts.

For years, I dreamt to go here. Even before I knew Rhys or the fact he was living here.

Finding my dorm room was difficult. The building was much bigger than I thought and I got lost in the same corridors at least four times. But at the end, I made it.

I was to share a room with two more girls and it looked like they were already here.

There were three beds next to each other, a window over the one in the middle, a door to what I assumed was the bathroom next to the one on the right. A girl with short black hair and unnatural silver eyes was laying on the bed on the left side, a book in hands.

„You‘re Feyre, I assume,“ she said when I walked trough the door. No one told me my roommates’ names, so how she knew mine, I had no idea. „I‘m Amren. Mor is in the bathroom. The middle bed is yours“

The girl didn‘t even look at me as I started unpacking my things.

Then, a girl stormed out from the bathroom, almost jumping on the bed to take the phone she had left there. Her blond hair was tied in a braid that fell beautifully down her back. Just when I thought she hadn‘t noticed me, she looked at me and before I knew it, she pulled me into a bone-crashing hug.

„Why didn‘t you say you were here! I‘m Morrigan, but you can call me Mor.“ She told me. “I‘d love to get to know you, but I‘m in a hurry, because my stupid cousin was late again“she almost shouted the last words. Confused, I raised an eyebrow in a silent question, but it was answered when I heard a male voice speak from inside the bathroom.

„If you hadn‘t insist I braid your hair, it wouldn‘t have mattered“

I knew that voice. There was something so familiar about it, but Mor interrupted my thoughts before I could figure out what, screaming at the man again.

„Since you were so late anyway, you could‘ve at least brought your girlfriend“

„She‘s not my girlfriend“, he answered.

Mor shook her head, as if to say Sure, I believe you.

I heard steps moving closer, than the bathroom door closing.

„Anyway, what‘s your name?“ Mor turned her attention to me once more.

I opened my mouth to answer, but the man was faster than me.

„Feyre?“ he whispered unbelievingly.

I snapped my head to the direction the voice was coming from. My gaze landed on the most beautiful man I‘ve ever seen.

I wasn‘t prepared for it.

For a second, I didn‘t move. My eyes couldn‘t leave his. Suddenly, without even realizing it, I was moving towards him, then I was wrapping my arms around him, breathing him in.

„Looks like I got to see your pretty face, after all“, he laughed.

My lips twitched into a wide smile, but I didn‘t say anything. Instead, I buried my nose in his chest. He smelled of jasmine and ocean breeze.

I barely heard the sound of Mor��s phone when she snapped a picture of us. I barely registered Amren‘s quiet murmurs, indicating she had left her book. There was only Rhys in the whole room, the whole world. And I was finally seeing him, finally able to touch him.

„If you don‘t let me go now, I‘m afraid you‘ll never be able to stay away from me“, he teased, though I knew he didn‘t want me to pull away.

„As charming and flattering as always“, I laughed again, then made a step backwards. Somehow, I managed to let go of him, not touching him anymore, though there still wasn’t much space between us.

“Feyre darling”, he whispered, his soft gaze focused on mine. There was a happy light in his eyes and that little smile on his face… I could look at him for hours.

Ever since I saw a picture of him, a month or two after we talked for the first time, I knew he was the most gorgeous person I’ve laid my eyes on. But seeing him with my own eyes, black tattoos swirling underneath his shirt, unbuttoned on the top, midnight dark hair glowing in the sunlight coming from the window, when he looked at me as if there was no one else in the room… It felt as though he came from some other world. Perhaps a world I also belonged to.

Mor cleared her throat behind me and I realized we had been silently staring at each other for over a minute.

Rhys’s eyes left mine and he blinked once, twice, remembering where he was. When we both looked at his cousin, she crossed her arms, a golden eyebrow raised.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you, but it is my birthday and we are already late for our reservation.”

“She’s eager to go, because Andromache is waiting for her. I want us to leave, because if we don’t, Cassian is probably going to burst into this room and I won’t bear the thought of any of you, horrible creatures, being near my books and jewels” said Amren. Now, when she was standing, I realized how much shorter she was. But somehow, she made me feel as though I was the smaller one. She looked young and ancient at the same time and I knew she wasn’t one to mess with. Even so, her eyes were almost soft, making it clear, that she did mean well. For now, at least.

“Your birthday. Right.” Murmured Rhys under his nose. “Do you want to come with us?” he asked me.

Go to a party, get to know my new roommates, meet new people? Get a drink or two?

Spend the whole night with my best friend, who I had never hung out with?

A part of me screamed to agree, to go with them, to have fun. To be with him. From the look the birthday girl gave me, I knew she wouldn’t mind.

“I probably shouldn’t”, my voice felt as if it belonged to someone else. “I have to unpack my things and get ready for my first classes tomorrow. Perhaps being late and falling asleep on the chair on my first day wouldn’t make the best impression.”

“Maybe you are right”, Rhys answered. Still, I could see the disappointment written on his face as clear as day.

When you come, I’ll show you Velaris. I’ll take you stargazing. And when you have savored every detail of the beautiful night sky, you’ll paint it, capturing all the lights and colors on the canvas while I watch you, pouring your love and soul into the painting.

That’s what he had told me the night I said him that I was accepted into Velaris University. That we were not only going to meet, but live in the same town. It had been a promise, one I would make sure he’d keep. Maybe it wouldn’t happen on my first day in town, but I’ve already waited three years. I could wait a few days more, if it meant having this perfect night.

So I just put a light smile on my face, looking at Mor. “Happy Birthday”, I congratulated her, then moved my gaze to Rhys again.

“Will I see you later?”

“I still haven’t left and you already can’t wait to see me. I’ll take you really like what you’re looking at”, his lips formed his legendary grin and I felt the urge to roll my eyes for what felt like the thousandth time today. At last, I decided to go with the usual “Prick”

“Can I come tomorrow? Text you to know when you’re free?” he asked.

I nodded.

I was already looking forward to it.

@hellas-himself @alexisnm95 @rhysand-darling @dreams-of-feysand @official-mort @urbisie @crimson-dusk (sorry, for some reason the tags don’t work for you..)

[demon-animatronic]

He’s a Monster...Does it Matter? Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Another Case, Another Encounter

Quick question, if anyone has a idea that I can do for filler please let me know. I want to try and do at least 10 chapters of them not knowing their secret but I could use some idea! Thanks!

A week later, it was becoming clear that the whole thing with Crowley was making me agitated. While I haven’t been seeing him at the most random of times, he has been texting me.

Of course nothing bad comes from the texts. It’s usually just a simple ‘how are you’ or ‘what are you up to’ stuff like that.

But it doesn’t change how I keep going from thinking he’s stalking me and possibly a monster trying to get into my head or a genuine good guy that actually pays attention to me.

“Urg….” I groaned from the love seat in the living room, where I was laying down at. “The one guy that actually seems to like me and I’m not sure if I can trust him or not.” I then put my hands on my face.

“Still thinking of him? Has he done anything recently?” Faith asked, coming in and sitting by Kevin on the couch.

“Other than some basic texts about my day and stuff, no. I haven‘t seen him and have only talked to him via text messaging.“ I replied.

“Well, what does your mind say about him?“ She questioned.

“That I shouldn’t immediately trust him and to think things through, playing as smart as I can.“ I said.

“…And your heart?“ She added.

“It‘s complicated.“ I removed my hands and looked at her. “Having crushes and being unsure of wanting a relationship isn‘t fun.”

“I know. But I’m sure your mind and heart will work things out.” She said.

“I hope.” I said, before getting up. “I’m going to go look for a new case. Anything to get my mind off him.”

“Okay.” Faith nodded.

Grabbing my phone from the coffee table, I headed towards my room and got my laptop out.

After about 20 or so minutes, I did come across something that seemed unusual and suspicious.

“Hey, Faith!” I called. “Come here!”

I listened for her footsteps and motioned her over when she appeared in my doorway.

“Look at this.” I said, moving my laptop towards her.

“People mauled by large dogs” She read. “Only no one saw any dogs.”

“That sounds like something for us to do.” I said as she read the article.

“Yeah. Sounds like Hellhounds.” Faith replied.

“It’s a good thing we got angel blades and those Hellhounds glasses from Sam and Dean.” I said, fortunate that the boys had given us a few of each in case we ever needed them. “Question is, how many people sold their souls in this small town?”

“Apparently a lot.” Faith said. “Well, I guess we better get packing before those Hellhounds leave.”

As she left, I got up and started packing a bag. Once I was packed, I started searching for any articles that could give a hint as to who the next victim could be.

“Aha.” I muttered, finding something from 10 years ago.

“Teenager, Maggie Lee, wins Beauty Pageant after stumbling in the second to last round.”  

“Did you sell your soul, Maggie?” I asked myself as I wrote down her name and the date from when it was posted, which was getting close to being 10 years ago.

Afterwards, I turned off my laptop and packed it with the rest of my stuff before bringing it to the front door.

-------- Later on ---------

Eventually we reached the small town. On the way, I checked all over the internet and couldn’t find anything on where Maggie Lee could be at. So we decided to stop at town hall and the library.

Or Faith did at least. She’s better at that type of stuff than I am. While she was doing that, I was in the motel room, trying to find anyone else that could be another victim.

My phone then started to vibrate beside me. Unconsciously, I picked it up and answered without checking who it was.

“Hey Faith.” I said without thinking.

“Not Faith but hello to you too.” Crowley’s voice came through.

“Oh sorry, C-Crowley.” I said, suddenly feeling nervous.

“What are you up to?” He asked.

“Nothing.” I replied. “Just…laying around...”

“Ah well, I can’t help but notice you aren’t home right now. Yes?”

“Yeah…Faith and I got up earlier and went on another short trip. She’s elsewhere doing something else right now.” I replied.

“You truly love traveling about.” Crowley said. “Yep.” I said. “I sure do.”

“Well, let me know when you’re home so we can go do something, or who knows, maybe you’ll see me there.” Crowley said as I raised a eyebrow.

“So we’ll be back to see each other in the most random places at the most random times?” I questioned.

“Pretty much. Nothing wrong with a surprise meeting, is there?”

“No. I guess not.” I replied as Faith walked in. “Listen, I got to go…”

“I suppose I do too. See yah soon, darling.” Crowley said and hung up.

“Let me guess…that was Crowley?” Faith asked and I nodded.

“Apparently we might run into each other here at some point.” I lowered my phone and she gave a puzzled look.

“Okay that’s creepy.” Faith said. “Do you think he’s stalking you?”

“I did but I’m not sure anymore. I mean, he hasn’t actually done anything other than show up wherever we are.” I replied as she sat down at the table.

“Maybe you’re right….” Faith trailed off.

“I’m right about what?” I asked, now confused.

“Maybe he is a monster and that’s how he’s able to get to wherever we are so fast.” Faith replied.

“He could be but I haven’t seen him here yet. If he was a monster, what exactly would he be waiting for?” I asked.

“I don’t know…maybe he wants to wait until you’re vulnerable.”

“Well, he’ll have another thing coming. After all, we are hunters with just about any weapon that can kill mostly anything.” I replied, laying back in my bed. “Anyway, find out anything?” “I got a address of that Maggie Lee and already spoke with her. Apparently she did sell her soul to win that Pageant 10 years ago.” Faith responded.

“And…?” I trailed off.

“I gave her a angel blade since a hellhound could come for her any day now.” She replied.

“That’s good.” I nodded. “I haven’t been able to find any more possible victims. Those that I did find are already dead. Why don’t we go back to that girl and keep her safe?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Faith said as we both got up.

----- Later Because I don’t feel like adding the Hellhound death -----

“Well, we did it.” Faith said as we sat down at a booth inside of a diner for dinner.

“Thank God. But I wonder if anymore Hellhounds will come after her?” I asked. “I mean, we did leave her a pair of glasses and a angel blade just in case but you never know.”

“We can only hope there won’t be anymore.” Faith replied before picking up a menu.

“Anyway, I’m starving. Let’s enjoy this peaceful dinner. And to make things better, no sign of Crowley. Haven’t even had him on my mind the last few hours.” I smiled.

“That’s good.” Faith said. “Maybe you won’t have to worry about him anymore. He was probably joking about being here.”

“Yeah. Probably.” I giggled.

Soon enough, the waitress came and took our orders. Once she did, Faith stepped outside to call Kevin. As I got my phone out to keep myself busy, I sensed someone sitting down in front of me, without even looking up to see them sit down. “Ahem.” A specific British voice got my attention.

“Thought you were lying about being here.” I smiled, turning off my phone, and looking up to him.

“I’ve been busy.” Crowley said sounding irritated, and not even looking at me but out the window.

“Everything alright? You sounded fine earlier. But you sound irritated now.”

“I suppose I am.” Crowley huffed.

“….Wanna talk about it?” I asked after a moment.

“Look, no offensive but you wouldn’t understand. Let’s just say something has been taken from me and I’m about ready to make it personal with whoever did it.” Crowley looked from the window to me.

“Fair enough. I guess I’ll be the same way, depending on what was taken from me.” I replied. “Thing is, is it something replaceable?”

“Yes and no.” Crowley said after thinking about that for a moment. “It’s still something I loved and now I might lose another. Understand?” I nodded.

“Well, I hope it all works out.” I replied, unsure of what to say.

“Thank you, Lexi.” Crowley said, sounding sincere.

“You’re welcome.” I reply. “Sorry I don’t really know what to do about your problem.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing that you need to worry about.” Crowley replied. “If you don’t mind me asking, why here?”

“What?” I tilted my head, confused.

“Why this place? Surely you could’ve afforded something more….better. Or do you travel too much for nicer restaurants?” Crowley asked.

“Yeah I guess you can say we travel too much for anything better. Plus we didn’t want something too big.” I replied and he nodded, understandingly.

“How long will you be here?” He asked.

“Till tomorrow.” I replied and glanced over at the door behind him to see Faith walking back in.

Turning, Crowley noticed the same thing and got up.

“I’ll see you around darling.” He winked and was about to walk away as Faith came up to us, before he stopped and looked back to me. “Before I forget, Lexipup, please do continue that crush you clearly still have on me. I quite enjoy it.”

With that, Crowley walked away, leaving the building and leaving me almost screaming. Once Faith sat down, she saw I was so nervous that I was practically shaking.

“Well, that was something.” Faith said. “You okay?”

“I think so...” I replied, quietly. Looking out the window, I couldn’t see him anywhere. “…I think he enjoys tormenting me like that.”

“Seems like it.” Faith agreed. “But…do you think he has a crush on you too? Could be why he likes being playful about your crush on him.”

“I….I guess…maybe….” I stammered. “Please can our food get here soon?” I suddenly changed the subject, looking away from the window.

Meanwhile, Crowley had disappeared the moment he knew I wasn’t looking at him. He quite liked my company since I didn’t talk about his flaws or deem him as a enemy over one…two…okay, a lot of things.

It was also plainly obvious that I liked him back since I keep getting flustered around him. Especially when he brings up my crush on him.

One day he’ll like to talk for more than a short time but right now he has other things he has to worry about. Standing outside of a house, he knew this is where his hellhounds were dropping like flies at and planned on getting back at the one killing them all. They couldn’t keep their soul forever.

“Hello, darling.” Crowley said, appearing behind Maggie Lee.

“Ahhh!” She screamed. “Who are you!?”

“Name’s Crowley. King of Hell. And if I’m right, you are the one that has been killing my puppies.” Crowley growled.

“What? N-No.” Maggie backed away from him only to hear growls coming from behind her.

Turning around, she didn’t see anything but once she put on the Hellhound glasses…

“P-Please.” Maggie begged.

“You sold your soul. It’s been 10 years. Now you pay the price.” Crowley stated before whistling. “Get ‘er, pups.” He commanded.

By that point, Maggie was in tears. She raised the angel blade that she had grabbed from the table only for Crowley to throw it out of her hand.

“No, no. You aren’t killing them too.” Crowley said as Maggie was tackled to the floor.

As he watched his hellhounds kill her, he couldn’t help but notice the glasses that has since fallen from her face.

Walking over to them, he picked them up and noticed that they were very similar to the ones the Winchesters owned.

Growling to himself, he knew he had to deal with them.

“Moose, Squirrel.” Crowley said, angrily as he appeared in the bunker in the main area. “We need to talk….”