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#because theres More detail and explaining
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ive been working on just one ref for like 2 days now but am having fun
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puppyeared · 3 months
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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m0e-ru · 1 year
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she had leftover paint from the last show, one minute, and a dream
#cw alcohol abuse#cw blood#// ??? not really but the imagery might be present#// ok got newsflashed this is how they do blood in dngrpa okay. sorry.  i didnt mean it.#arttag#boot.tingting#ゲッー#saki konishi#p4#// believer that the thoughts in the shopping district at that time were just yosuke's#// mayumi's tv studio was quiet since she was already dead and sakis dead and yosuke's shadow was manifesting at the time so#// i cna explain this all in detail but right now im TIRED#// anyway heres vague mad hatter saki idea i had for a while now#// all because it was called 'twisted shopping district' adn i was like okay ...thats pretty swag#// i also have 100000 reasons and ideas ot this but yeah.not today sorry put it in the inbox so i remember i guess#// ohhh gas station's zero assed post of all time sorry guys i'll keep talking but it wont be substantial information#// ANYWYA her tv show would be like this alcohol review. whatever. tea party but it's just local liquor or something#// 'ahh and heres our guest for tonight!(the only night)' and camera pans to saki#// since theres no IT or physical audience. they make saki insecure with people watching through a camera or somehting#// the fog's cleared at this point so shadows would be more agitated and the whole process of going berserk even without people around#// and the fact sakis shadow could actually find her#// since theres literally nothing to chew off of what her deal could be um. im sorry saki im sorry sakiheads im doing this to your girl#// anyway her 'reality' is that um . yeah shes stuck at the hatter's tea party im sorry girl everyone hates you probably youre doing your#// best GOD worst articulation of ideas ive had to date GOODNIGHT OKYAKUSAN
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beegswaz · 1 year
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I MISSED BUG. BEING CORRECT ABOUT WHEATLEY..???? WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL.
#HES NOT SHY!!!!! AWKWARDNESS DOES NOT EQUAL SHYNESS!!!!!!!!#BITCH NEVER SHUTS UP HE JUST DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO CARRY HIMSELF IN CONVERSATIONS AND JUST OVER EXPLAINS SHIT#I AM SO SICK OF SHY LITTLE GUY WHEATLEY HES A MILDLY NERVOUS SHITHEAD WHO GETS CAUGHT ON THESE STUPID ASS LITTLE DETAILS#AND WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM UNTIL HES DOES TALKING OR SOMEONE TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP!#can i Also just say i Hate like. stupidly Tall skin And bones blonde White guy Wheatley#just For a moment.#its A shit design i dont. Why does it. ugh#also Proud wheatley isnt The intelligence dampening Sphere fan#ok. ok ill Be normal now.#but Yeah not only has he Shown the capacity to Come up with Actually decent ideas but Also glados is The smartest thing in Aperture.#and she is So disconnected from the Attributes that can make Someone human (empathy Curiosity Morality etc etc) because Of not only the#events of Portal 1 but Also because of The chassis chamber (glados vs PotatOS. shes Still snarky but is Actually more willing to Be#reasonable blah Blah blah) that when Faced with an Entity that DOES have those Traits#she immediately Deems them as less Intelligent regardless of How smart they Actually are#now this is NOT to Say she cannot feel those emotions#but After losing the Cores attached to Her shes become very Disconnected from Those emotions and Appears uncaring And cold because of it#she Appears more like A machine than A person#and Theres a lot of Character quirks in Wheatley that make him Much more human-like Than machine (even in Chassis!!)#i Could also go On a rant about Why chassiswheatley Becoming suddenly Evil actually Makes sense according to A scientific study but#i Dont think you guys wanna hear That#nor Do you wanna hear my Machiavellian Bach analysis and How its so thematically Correct with the Story while still being true To wheatley#SORRY ILL BE.SANE NOW.
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allamericansbitch · 8 months
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that line in Paris isn't even that cringe because the whole song is just kinda silly and funny so it makes sense
i dont agree lol
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possumteeths · 10 months
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when i was in middle school i was just obsessed with having white skin. i googled a thousand things, went to the asian beauty store to get skin bleaching products. I took weird fkn lemon baths and stuff. And like i guess I never realized how fucked up that was?
Every time I come across the term porcelain skin I want to throw something. Bodily descriptions in books these days are much much better than they were when I was twelve but fanfic is still very much in the past. Obviously i’m not inserting myself in everything I read, I like to be like fifteen steps away from the story but someone exceptionally beautiful is always described with such white centric terms and often the stupid term porcelain skin. Its annoying and stupid and can we stop saying this dang phrase lol.
#even the whitest goddang person isnt porcelain#im pale as hell compared to the rest of my ppl and its just kinda weird to think back and remember that I was once so ashamed and#embarrassed of my skin color id cover every inch of my body and had long ass hair to hide my face#and everyone was like lol ur goth but like nah! its much worse#i also understand this might just be a me problem but like i think there is something to be said that something beautiful or lovably fragile#is always goddamned described with white ass terms#Also u need to be conscious of the way u describe side characters when ur main character is ~porcelain~ and white#If ur mc is so cool and badass sexy u need to be so conscious of the way they speak and the terms they use and the terms you use to describe#their thoughts and actions#U need to be conscious of how u describe side characters as well its just important to understand the indirect ways that your privelege has#affected you#Yknow also its important to understand the way the world has shaped your thoughts and your person esp when ur a white person writing a poc#I dont rlly feel like idk explaining this in detail but I guess im saying that people need to be more conscious of the way they indirectly#come across and the way that certain terms are outdated and just about harmfull#if ur describing a corpse sure use porcelain skin lol but dont have every instance of bodily description circle around their whiteness#and especially dont have poc characters described in any less affection#if ur white mc is porcelain and beautiful and ur supporting poc character is described rough and u talk abt their scars and etc its weird#cause like CLEARLY everyone on this earth doesnt have perfect perfect skin#its much more interesting to describe ur characters skin and the minor imperfections they have because it tells me about them#it builds something yknow? if ur character is porcelain then theres nothing that tells me abt the character other than that you as an author#find this to be fitting as a descriptor and it says a lot#and like this goes for poc also like poc can write just as harmful things as white ppl#Anyways I read a mass effect fic that described sooo many things soooo bad
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doveyeellie · 2 years
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wait the way you guys described dream talking about dsmp season 2 made it seem like he talked about it in detail for at least half of the podcast but he just said he was very excited and I dont even think he talked about it for more than 3 minutes💀💀
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oflgtfol · 2 years
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my writing has become so dry and stilted now after like the longest time of doing nothing but writing lab reports and science research papers its like whenever i have to do ANY form of writing for my internship whether thats just writing an email to the volunteers or whatever i feel like i sound so strange
#i just like. default to writing in a passive voice#or when i use a pronoun i use 'we' referring to me and my supervisor but im also definitely using it in the Lab Report We#anyway imwriting up a. fucking 15 page document as a guideline for another pantry nearby to get started up#granted theres a ton of pictures so its not like 15 pages entirely written#BUT STILL i feel like its less of a casual hey heres what we do maybe take note of that and adapt it to your own needs#and more of a like. instruction manual because of the way im WRITING i sound like im writing a formal MANUAL#but i cant NOT write like this??#especially bc i have no idea who the people heading this new pantry are#i know their names but only over email like idk if theyre old or not#so im describing basic computer functions bc i have no idea their computer literacy#like if theyre old then i feel like yeah they need it.#but if theyre in their 20s or 30s then i feel bad for describing like. click this button to drag this element to a new position in the queu#but like i know the OLD pantry i worked at off campus was run by like. old people !!!#so im just picturing them at this new pantry and well. i know the old admins i volunteered for would definitely need a pointer like that#LMAO.#so im basically just being as precise as possible and explaining everything in depth even if it should be self explanatory#which makes this turn into. syntax resembling an instruction manual rather than a friendly outline of our procedures. LMAO#but whatever.#maybe even if they arent old they'll still enjoy that im being precise and detailed about everything#brot posts
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rin-and-jade · 4 months
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Are You? What about You? Them? : A Post about Differentiating Types of Parts.
We all know that spiderman meme where they pointed to each other because they share similar qualities that confuses their selves;
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Like this. Right?
They all sounded so similar that we neither knew which is which at first glance..
And so, at the end of this post you will be confident in pointing out who is who, just like a spiderman who can tell apart from its own multiverse friends, that is. So let's get pointing to the smaller details!
How it works..
We know what it's like to be conscious, yeah? What if i were to tell you that yes, there are varying degrees of consciousness, and that we all can fluctuate on those levels too?
The levels of consciousness can vary from only being aware of its physical surroundings and react instinctually (lesser level), to being able to self-introspect and understand what they like and dislike (higher level). This is all dependent on many different factors and i want to clarify that it takes more than just 'awareness' to tell a fragment apart from an alter for example. But, still important to know what level its at.
This explains why shards, and fragments are less flexible when facing an issue, as they're more limited or not as equipped as an alter in terms of reasoning or level of logic/knowledge. So why is that? It can be from the intensity of dissociation, and other things like how much implicit and explicit memories it retains, this includes experiences.
How to tell them apart..
Sure, theres a spectrum to this too, as every type of part can be a bit different though still can categorized loosely, not meaning it has to fit perfectly to the box :
1. No sense of identity and, or tangible form/shape outside of performing a specific task, or hold a single memory/mood. (Shard)
2. Small sense of identity (a trait that is distinctive/distinguishable), possibly have a less blurry appearance than level 1 and still performs specific tasks, have little to no memories/range of emotions. (Shard)  
3. Mish mash of small qualities, but not enough to encapsulate an identity/personality, may have a sense of existing, and can emotionally react to environment/situation. Usually have a defined innerworld form, and may retain some memories but depends on origin, still fixed on role. (Fragment)
4. Has a developed dominant facet, which can be seen more lively and autonomous compared from level 1-3,, but still a bit rigid and have a narrow/limited view in general. Can distinguish and identify feelings, and have goals/hobbies/interests, self curiosity/exploration to function outside role. (Fragment, leaning to alter)  
5. Has a multifaceted personality in which it cannot defined by one word, fully knows its likes and dislikes, long term goals, morals, and a complex view on life. May have developed purpose outside role job, pursuing self-fulfillment. (Alter)
So in conclusion, shards are not wholly self aware and rely on current implicit memories, from my own system experience shards feels so blank, lifeless, somewhat robotic. Fragments have a partial sense of autonomy, it can rationalize and react to its own accord, reason, and learn/explore,, though had not fully know who they are. Alters are like any other usual people, where it has accumulated knowledge and experience that had shaped then throughout existing, reinforcing a faceted sense of self and purpose.
Growth to perfection..
Are you also wondering if shards and fragments can grow to an alter? The answer is, yes! Though some can be stuck in a certain stage, which is nothing to be ashamed about, and doesn't need changing.
Though, this takes a really long time and process, i note my own fragments will reach to a stage where it barely matches the loose category of an alter in 6 months, and to be a fully developed alter, it might need a whole year (okay this is my own calculations, other people will have it slower or faster).
To grow a shard towards a fragment category, my theory is that you have to interact with, and let them immerse/exprience the real world by supervision (outside of its role task) to develop more environmental, and self awareness. They will be very limited in terms of knowledge and names so this is a good time to start introducing these, and they may not even realize they exists themselves before sometimes,, try nudging them activities to experiment, and foods to taste, examine emotion wheel.. theres a lot to start from.
To grow a fragment to an alter, start introducing other views and complex topics, the goal here is to create a more developed understanding of life. From my experience, all my fragments have a dominant facet, e.g. angry dog vibes; and slowly let them learn how to be soft, or act more polite,, it will slowly solidify as a new facet, now capable of being kind and not always behaving threatening/i-will-still-bite-you attitude to every situation, as it now can be more flexible which facet it should use depending on situation.
Last words..
So, you are now an educated spiderman who can not only point out, but understand the basics of why,, and how to grow a part to have a better sense of awareness!
Let me know in the comments, i would like to hear why the part you had specifically picked/chose is possibly a shard/fragment/alter from your own reasoning and interactive mini discussion with me,, lets finally put them into real practice yeah?
Also, Happy Valentines, *offers you a free heart chocolate*
- j, your educational fiancée
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syscardinal · 3 months
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hihi!! i love your art sm !!
im curious on how you draw your chibis? they are so squishy and theyre like mochis and blueberry muffins (in the best way o m gee) !!
like hows the anatomy/posing work for you? tips would be super super helpful wow
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Hi! First of all, thank you! This is a hard one cuz I dont usually draw chibis ehe, but I will try to aid you with the few knowlegment I got. As you can see, I have a lot of styles when it comes to draw cheebs but I think i can resume it in one word: SIMPLIFY
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For example, here's a drawing of Gaming I did. Let's dig into it!!
First I tried to replicate the same pose Gaming has in his official art, notice that this not have to follow exactly the same guidelines. "Why?" Well because when drawing a chibi, theres some limitations since the body shrunkens, there is a variety on how cheeb anatomy works but I'll get to that point later-
Forget about detailing too much, like putting in the cheeb every wrinkle of the clothes, every strand of hair or every little costure. With this I am not saying that you have to get rid of ,for example, Furina's decorations in her hat, instead you can simplify them!! If you consider that detail important enough just draw it! (See the image for a example on how I do it)
Negative Space oh man my art teacher used to talk about this a lot and in chibis this is SUPER relevant. A good negative space always leads to clarity, and since cheebs are a really little thing,what we want is exactly that, clarity. Try to make a clear silloutte of what you are trying to convey in the chibi, this will make it look 10 times better for starters.
Lastly, dont forget that cheebs follow the same rules as a normal drawing(like line of action, perspective, etc) In case of cheebs though is usual for the heads, eyes and mouth to be bigger, I'll explain in more detail this below!
Here's the speedpaint for more detail:
Lets go now with Anatomy and Proportions, as I was saying above, there is a lot of variety in cheebs anatomy. I dont think there is a wrong or correct way to draw a chibi here, there is just a lot of ways to draw them altough usually it follows these points:
Chibis are no more than 3 heads in height, after that it just stops feeling like a chibi drawing.
Eyes tends to be bigger, generaly eyes occupies 1/3 of the head. In my case I like to make the ears also just as big as the eyes with the shape of a bean or simply a circle. Moving to the mouth, I draw a simple shape of a triangle, just including the teeths when they smile.
Depending on the proportions you choose, it will give you different results, here you have to choose what you want for your chibi, for example: A proportion of the size of 2 heads + It gives you the liberty of draw more details and complex poses. On the other side a proportion of 1 head or less makes the chibi simpler but at the same time more cute to look at(see my examples at the end of this post!)
Last but not least, use this chart just as a reference, you can draw the bodies roundier, taller, tinier. Its up to your liking!!
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Hope that this was not too overwhelming haha, I am not an expert on drawing cheebs but they are fun to try! I tried to summarize my own knowledge and mixed it with some google search(ehe)
Please dont hesitate to try as much as you want, there is a lot of ways to draw the tiny ones and none of them is incorrect. Hope this helps you and thanks for reading!!!
Here are the examples I mentioned above!!
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forecast0ctopus · 3 months
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Any advice on drawing McCoy? I’m not used to drawing ancient wrinkley bastards (affectionate) and it’s surprisingly tough v-v
FOR SURE lmao i made. a diagram. just a warning that i am going to be irritating and long winded because u just hit a topic i really like sorry lmao
so first off i did some traces just to show whats there vs redraws to show my interpretation
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ive said this on other asks but again jsyk, tracing isnt bad!! its a tool. theres some stuff with intellectual property and whatnot but using tracing to study shapes and forms is a really valuable practice.
also just taking some time to learn facial structures and anatomy is super useful, reading what bones and muscles are where and how they interact with one another. taking this info and staring in the mirror and moving your face around and thinking about it. just really furthers understanding of how the face works. trying to sound normal about this but i love anatomy and motion and physics and whatever
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anyways im going to go through all the numbered points so there's no confusion. 1. forehead lines - self explanatory. more prominent when brows are raised 2. crows feet - at the outer corners of the eyes, more prominent when smiling or squinting 3. nasolabial folds - the folds that go from the corners of the nose to the corners of the mouth. more prominent when the mouth is wide, like smiling 4. brow furrow - self explanatory, most prominent when brows are furrowed. mccoy tends to have two right next to his eyebrows, kirk has one in the middle. everyones face works different lmao 5. chin crease - caused by how the chin and lower lip interact. 6. nasojugal groove - start from the inner corners of the eye and can extent over the cheeks. everyone has these and idk why people dont like them i think theyre really cool!!!! but Society. i guess. :/ 7. eye bags - caused by the skin sagging beneath the eyes. mccoy isnt even that old in tos i think hes meant to be mid 40s by the end of the 5 year mission, hes just got really prominent eye bags lmao 8. idk what the name is for these, but when the mouth is wide and pushes the skin to the sides, these folds sometimes form outside of the nasolabial folds 9. philtrum - the groove above the upper lip. i dont usually draw this but mccoy's struck me as prominent enough that i usually draw it on him 10. masseter - the muscle that moves the jaw up and down. its a pretty rugged muscle and while i wouldnt say mccoy's is especially prominent, it kind of extends that nasojugal groove from certain angles/positions 11. orbicularis oris - mouth muscle, usually easier to see when lips are pursed or frowns are pulled. mccoy's is pretty prominent from 3/4ths or side, his mouth tends to protrude in profile 12. this isnt a muscle but more of a line defining the planes of the face, but since i drew it i felt i should explain lmao
a few points:
im an animator i tend to exaggerate and emphasize certain things so i usually make him more square.
i like to combine eyebags and crows feet for brevity/flow, same with nasojugal grooves, eyebags, and masseter lines. my approach is always subject to change based on pose, expression, reference image, etc.
i take out details that i deem redundant or cluttering and keep what details i need to make things feel Right
all this info is applicable to any character of any age, its just in how you apply it and facial proportions that willl change how old a character is perceived to be
there's a lot more with drawing a Character rather than an Actor, just because the features are there doesnt necessarily mean things will feel correct? its very much in the mannerisms and poses and expressions
i only went over my approach to his likeness but not really body type or posing or anything idk if u want that i could always try to answer that later haha
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anyways all that info kind of exists nebulously in my brain while i draw its not like im sitting there thinking Must Draw. Nasolabial Fold...... i jsut do what feels right with the visual info i have. also i love specificity in faces.... i dont like to be a hater but when every character is drawn the same it pisses me off a little lmao. so
also dont take my word as The Only Way to do anything i just draw how i like to draw and no one should feel like these are things that Must be done to be a good artist or anything do whatever the hell u wanna do
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m0llygunn · 11 months
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Apologies and Promises (eddie munson x fem!reader)
Part 3 to Same Old Song and Dance 01 / 02 Summary: Hurt feelings hidden under the shallow guise of anger and indifference, in an inebriated state there’s no choice but to face the layers of truth.
Tropes: enemies to lovers (kind of), mean stubborn idiots in love, honestly idk at this point. Warnings: 18+! mature language, ‘bullying’, forcible wrist holding, pet names (princess, sweetheart, angel, baby), mentions of oral (m receiving), angst, alcohol consumption, vomit mention. Author’s note: I am resisting the urge to over explain why theres no smut and this chapter was needed to progress feelings (i know smut is a selling point IM SORRY... but soon i swear it'll be back). wc: 7.2k+
tags: @needylilgal022 @tlclick73 @ropickle @suethh @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @emma77645 @yujyujj
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You didn’t wait around for him to show but you also didn’t expect to have to wait around for him to show.
You’re not disappointed. Why should you be? You didn’t want him to pick you up anyways. 
If anything, you’re pissed. 
He relentlessly badgered you last night about it. Wouldn’t leave until you agreed to let him drive you to school. He was so insistent, that he nearly slept on your floor using that stupid notebook as a pillow.
You’re not disappointed. 
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“Want me to knock him out?” Steve offers and you can’t help but laugh. 
Steve was dropping off his coworker-turned-best friend, Robin, when you were walking into school. He’s a close family friend— and Nancy’s on-again-off-again boyfriend, so you happily stopped for a chat. 
“Steve. I hate to break it to you but Munson’s a veteran school fighter. He might not win every fight but he’s definitely been in more fights than you.” You say, patting Steve on the cheek as he comically deflates before you.
“Hey! I won the last fight I was in and I’ve been working on my biceps, can’t you tell?” He says, flexing his arms. 
“Yeah, yeah.” You smile, watching Steve flex his unnoticeably larger arms until he rounds up his antics and leans back against his car. “Your dad at that work conference thing too?” You ask, curiously wondering if it really is a work trip your dad’s on right now. 
“Absolutely. Any chance to get away, right?” Steve says with a somber laugh. 
“I know the feeling...any chance.” You reply, nodding your head in agreement.
“Yeah, well.” Steve shrugs. “Might throw a party, might not.” He says indifferently. You perk up at the idea of a party. It’s always the same crowds that show, you know the list of attendees like the back of your hand.
“You should, I can get Nance to come along, maybe you can rekindle.” You say, hitting Steve’s arm. This could be to his benefit too, Nancy has been bringing him up again recently and that’s always the catalyst to the ‘on again’ portion of their relationship.
“You got some kind of insight?” Steve replies, eyes studying you.
You purse your lips, choosing your words wisely. “Can't say. Bad enough I already told you my business, can’t tell you her business too, Stevie.” 
Steve smiles, shaking his head, accepting your answer because he knows that’s as close as he’ll get to you spilling Nancy's secrets. 
He knows all about your rivalry with Munson, and as much as he doesn’t like the guy, he was actually the first one who suggested sleeping with him quite some time ago. It was a joke of course… yet here you are. You figured he deserved to know that he was some sort of prophet, so you filled him in. Not in as much detail as you did with Nancy, but you told him the gist of it. 
Your conversation with Steve simmers to a lull, both of you watching over the crowd of students funnelling from the parking lot into the school. You’re not explicitly looking for it, but you can’t help but notice the lack of a certain obnoxiously loud van. 
“You’re good, right?” Steve asks, shoulder bumping your own.
“Yeah.” You sigh.
“You sure?” He asks again, turning towards you enough to gauge your reaction. You shrug your shoulders.
“Maybe a little embarrassed.” You say, shifting back and forth on your feet, eyes still flickering over the bustling parking lot. 
“Don’t be. Fuck him.” He says making you snort a laugh.
“Fuck him?” You question, smirk playing on your lips.
“No! I mean, unless you want to. But he did stand you up so…” Steve says trailing off. You try to laugh it off but it sounds more like a scoff. 
“Yup. Eddie Munson stood me up.” You say, words rolling off your tongue in a confusing cross between regret and hurt even when you meant for it to be a joke. A laughable comment between two friends who know how you and Eddie interact, who know he’s nothing more than a nuisance to you, nothing more than an incessant house fly that just won’t quit circling you. 
You never thought you’d be saying that in this lifetime. You never thought he’d have the opportunity to stand you up. 
You tell yourself you’re not disappointed, but the words sure do taste like it. 
You shrug your shoulders, shaking off your thoughts. “I should go, bell’s about to ring.”
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It was during your second period math quiz. A timid, curly headed freshman knocked on the door interrupting the silence of the room. 
Mrs. Rotman stood from her desk, crossing the room, engaging in a whispered conversation with the boy. She turned to look around the room, eyes flitting over the students before landing on you. She turned back to the boy, whispered something to him and sent him on his way. 
You tried to pretend you were busy doing your quiz but it was hard with her eyes focused on you as she walked in your direction.
“Honey, your fathers in the office for you. Something about a family emergency. Don’t worry about the quiz, sweetie.” She whispered, leaning down to your level with sullen eyes that made your heart rate pick up.
“Family emergency?” You questioned anxiously. 
“Yes dear, go on and head down to the office.” She said, patting your back. 
Leaving behind your quiz that you barely had a chance to start on, you quietly let yourself out of the class. 
Speed walking down the hall, opening the door to the stairwell with enough force for the sound to echo against the cement walls and linoleum floors, you hurry to descend the stairs. With your mind busy, rifling through what potential family emergency would bring your father back to town, you didn’t even notice him standing by the stairwell exit until you stepped down onto the landing. 
There’s a moment before he looks at you. A moment where your heart beats faster. A moment where you’re flooded with scary feelings. A moment were you remember last night. And a moment were you remember this morning.
“Oh for god's sake.” You groan, leaving that moment behind, churning everything into a genuine annoyance because you fell for such a stupid trick. 
“Princess, funny seeing you here. Daddy’s been waiting.” Eddie says, smirk plastered on his face, waiting with his back against the wall, trying to exude some sort of coolness that he doesn’t possess. 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” You spit, burning hot from the inside out. Eddie deflates in front of you, smirk dropping as he steps away from the wall towards you.
“No?” He says, almost like he’s asking you. 
“Why the fuck would you think this was okay?” You sneer, voice raising in volume. He shrinks further.
“Just wanted to see you.” He shrugs, eyes falling to the ground.
If he 'wanted to see you', he wouldn’t have stood you up. 
“You wanted to see me?” You scoff bewilderedly.
“Yeah, and apologize for this morning.” He says, eyes flickering up to you.
You spin on your heels, ready to explain the situation to Mrs. Rotman and go back to finishing your quiz. You don't want to hear an apology for that.
“Shit— Princess, come back!” He calls after you. You hear feet clambering, catching up to you just as you clear the first set of stairs. His grasp captures your wrist and you get the eeriest sense of deja vu.
“Princess, c’mon, let me apologize.” He says, voice pleading as you try to tug yourself free.
“No. You can apologize to Mrs. Rotman’s math class for interrupting everyone during the quiz.” You huff, using all your weight to try and free yourself. 
“No, let me apologize to you.” He insists. You feel your heart rate pick up and in an instant you spin, startling Eddie with your fast movement. 
“Do you think this is funny, Eddie?” You spit, brows furrowed, face flushing hot in anger.
With his mouth pulled in a flat line, he shrugs. 
You know he's hardly phased by your spitfire and you step closer to up the ante. 
“No, seriously? Are you having fun, Eddie? Answer the question.” You say, burning your gaze into his. 
He doesn't indulge you in an answer, he just looks at you with round eyes. He doesn't cower, he doesn’t spit heated words back, he just remains looking at you with his stupidly big eyes. You're not even sure if his disposition is meant to soothe you, but it does and you hate it. It irons out nearly every wrinkle of anger and you hate it. 
“I know none of this matters to you, Eddie, but it matters to me.” You say, mustering up every blazing emotion you have left in you but it comes out too gentle to be anger.
“What matters to you?” He asks quietly, his face softening, eyes getting impossibly rounder. His grip on your wrist loosens as he steps closer to you. 
You press your lips closed, breathing deeply to compose yourself. Your sentiment is ambiguous, you recognize that. Whether is was purposeful or not is a mystery to even you. You wouldn't admit this matters, whatever this is between you and Eddie, never. You couldn't.
Even if you didn't leave space for ambiguity, you know what he's asking right now. Does he matter to you, does this matter to you?
“School, idiot.” You say quietly. You cover ambiguity by shutting him down and embellishing it with an insult. It's a lie, you both know it. It’s an orchestrated move at this point; he steps right, you step left.
He moves in closer to you, toe to toe, his chest less than arm's length away. His grip on your wrist slides down, stopping just before your palm, inches away from being a hand hold.
“You're only upset because I took you away from your quiz?” He asks quietly, amusement hinting in his tone. His eyes flicker to your lips.
“Yes.” You reply flatly. You lick your lips instinctively and you mentally scold yourself.
“No, you're not.” He laughs softly, eyes only watching your lips now. “You're really that desperate to finish a math quiz?” He asks, amusement becoming forthright.
He does think this is funny and it makes your blood boil. 
“Stop doing that.” You sneer but it comes out weak.
“Stop doing what?” He asks, eyes still unmeeting of yours.
His overconfidence and arrogance buzzes around in your head, spurring on your anger. You feel cornered by him calling your bluff and nothing good has ever come from that, especially when your heart is beating so fast you can't hear your own thoughts.
“Assuming you know me, Eddie. You don’t.” You snap, hammering your words into him like nails in a coffin, punctuating your words with a tug of your wrist but his grasp hardens, not letting you go.
He finally looks up at you, eyes meeting your gaze and you can tell your words stung by the mirrored reflection of hurt. He looks taken aback. Whatever he thought was about to happen, you pulled it out from under him like a mean trick and hurt switches to anger.
“So you’re really only upset because you’re here?” He scoffs, brows pinching.
“I just fucking said that.” You spit back.
“And you’re not at all upset because I didn’t pick you up this morning?” And that's all he has to say to send you into a flighty panic. You won't look truth in the eye, you can't.
“Eddie. Let go.” You seethe, tugging your wrist harshly. You bring your other hand to his in an attempt to pry his fingers off. His grip isn’t enough to hurt you, it’s simply unrelenting, a desperate attempt to finish this conversation.
"Princess—" He starts but you interrupt him, not wanting to hear anymore, not wanting to give him another opportunity to throw your own feelings in your face.
"Let go." You say, your volume raising out of desperation.
“Fine. Just fucking relax for a minute, Jesus Christ.” He groans, when you start swatting at his forearm. His own annoyance rises and it pisses you off because what does he have to be annoyed about? He’s not the one that got stood up. 
“I am relaxed!” You shriek, squeezing your eyes shut and stamping your foot. 
Eyes still closed, you listen to your own voice echoing off the walls, forcing you to hear yourself. It sounds like a reverb of hurt between the two of you. Despite the meaningless message your words attempt to convey, it sounds like a slip of honesty, a slip of your true feelings and how he’s affected them. It sounds tears short of being an angered cry.
A beat passes before the echoes subside, leaving the two of you in silence.
“Princess.” Eddie whispers softly. His voice isn’t loud like yours, it doesn’t vibrate off the walls but it still echoes in your consciousness, occupying a space hugged tightly next to your heartbeat. 
You feel fingertips ghost over your cheeks, delicate in nature despite residing in the antagonistic warland that you and Eddie have fostered together. Your heart catches in your throat and you hate it. 
Your face pinches in its default anger. You ready yourself to scold him, but when you open your eyes and all you see is soft, warm brown staring back at you, it doesn’t come. You hate it. 
He closes his grasps on your face, both hands holding you gently by the jaw. Both hands.
Your wrist set free, you pull away, storming back down the stairs. He steps forward, you run away— another orchestrated move.
Hearing yourself is too much, you need air. You need somewhere where your own thoughts can't reverb like your words against cement and linoleum. You need something to get you thinking straight.
Scuffing sneakers echo behind you as you clear the staircase, cross the foyer, and push open the door to the parking lot. You expect a hand around your wrist again but it doesn’t come. 
You slow to a walk and so does he, his steps crunching on the pebble covered pavement as he trails behind you quietly.
You round the corner of the building before leaning against the wall, expectant hand held out towards Eddie.
He tentatively raises his arm, fingers grazing yours, palm just barely ghosting your own, before you smack him away.
“No you idiot, cigarette.” You say, exhaling deeply. 
He mumbles an embarrassed apology before digging through his pocket.
“Here.” He says quietly, passing over his carton of camels.
You pull one out, placing it between your lips, Eddie’s eyes watching your every move. Flickering the lighter that was tucked into the empty space of the box, you light it up, smoke pluming from the corners of your lips as you take your first drag. Eddie swallows harshly, lost in thought.
“Well?” You snap, his eyes fleeting back to yours. 
“R-right. I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up this morning, princess. I’m really really sorry.” He says softly, strumming the chords of your heart with his words. You hate it.
“Why should you be sorry about that, I didn’t want you to anyways.” You say, trying to sound indifferent. You don’t though. You hear your own voice just like you did in the stairwell and you sound like a little kid who hasn’t quite mastered the art of fibbing. It’s a jejune lie, not even a good one.
“I said I would though, and I didn’t. I’m sorry.” He says, round eyes set on you.
The sun glimmers against his hair making the wavy brown strands look golden, a perfect match to the gold in the eyes staring at you right now.
He’s genuinely sorry, you believe him, and you hate it.
Continuing on your juvenile streak, you pocket his lighter before handing back his carton. You know he sees you do it but he doesn’t say anything. 
“Whatever, Eddie.” You mumble, taking a drag from your cigarette. 
You let your head fall against the brick behind you, eyes scanning thoughtlessly over the surrounding thick tree line. Eddie takes a step, his shoulder hitting the wall as he leans against it, still facing you. 
“Don't you wanna know where I was?” He asks carefully, a testing tease lingering around his words.
“Not really, but I have a feeling you’re gonna tell me anyway.” You retort, folding your arms over your chest, your burning cigarette skillfully held out to not get ash on yourself. Eddie exhales a light laugh before leaning into you. 
“Well, princess.” He starts, leaning in even closer. “I accidentally slept in because I was too busy staying up all night thinking about this girl who gave me the best head of my life.”
“Gross.” You scoff, hiding your smile by taking another drag.
“Fuck yeah. It was certified sloppy toppy. I think I was reborn yesterday, died and got as close to heaven as I ever will.” He says, body twisting so his head knocks against the brick wall dramatically. 
“Now you're just sucking up.” You grimace, taking another drag.
He laughs softly before the both of you fall into a quiet lull. You partially expected him to make some kind of joke out of ‘sucking up’ but he doesn’t. Only the sound of trees blowing in the wind can be heard, along with scattered chirps of birds in the distance.
“Are you still mad at me?” He asks, breaking the silence. You let your eyes flicker to him before focusing back on your barely burnt cigarette. You drop it, stomping it out under your shoe. It was a waste of a cigarette, but Eddie doesn’t say anything.
“I wasn’t mad at you.” You reply, facing towards the tree line again. 
“Okay, princess.” He sings, clearly not believing you. “But everything aside… we’re good?” He asks, watching you carefully.
“Eddie.” You exhale. That’s a big thing for him to ask of you and he doesn’t even realize it. How can you say that everything between the two of you is good when… What even is there between the two of you? Are you even friends? It's another truth you're not willing to face.
“Princess, tell me we’re okay or else you’ll keep me up another night.” He says, slouching his shoulders. 
“You’re being dramatic.” You laugh. He steps closer to you, hand raising and grasping a piece of your hair. You watch in your periphery as he swirls it between his fingers.
“I’ll never get another wink of sleep, I’m begging you. Tell me we’re okay or tell me how to fix it.” He says, tiptoeing even closer to you.
“Eddie.” You laugh again, shaking your head. The hair between his fingers falls but he’s quick to reach for the strands that fell into your face, skillfully tucking it behind your ear.
“All I’m asking for is your forgiveness. What d’you say, angel?” He whispers. You turn your head, looking at him skeptically with raised brows. 
“Angel? I think that’s hardly a fitting name.” You scoff.
“Trust me, it’s fitting. After last night.” He says, hand retreating from you to grab his heart dramatically, throwing his body back against the brick wall in a swoon. 
“Suck up.” You say trying to hide your amusement. You watch him as he continues his antics, biting your lip to hide your smile. 
He turns to you, looking up through his lashes, feigning a faux innocence.
“So what d’ya say, princess?" He questions, quirking a brow at you. "Want me to kiss it better?” He asks with a deep grin, eyes amusedly awaiting your response. 
You pause, not necessarily thinking about his offer but more so distracted by the way the sun reflects off of his eyes making them glow golden again.
He takes your pause as a yes, stepping into you, hands grabbing behind your ears, cradling your neck. He presses sloppy kisses all over your cheeks and up to your forehead, all while you protest through giggles. It’s sickeningly sweet. Truly sickening. You hate it.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
“Why’d you ask my friends where I was yesterday, princess? Are you, like, obsessed with me?” Eddie mocks into your ear startling you.
“Oh no.” You groan to yourself, flashing Nancy a preemptive apologetic look. 
“Princess, d’ya happen to have a lighter? Mine seems to have gone missing.” He says, moving on from his original remark, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. 
“No, sorry. I don’t smoke, it’s a dirty habit.” You say flatly, keeping your focus on your lunch and Nancy sitting across from you.
“Oh, that’s crazy I could have sworn I saw you hanging out in the back of the school with some guy smoking earlier? I must have been mistaken.” He says, arm wrapping around your shoulder as he throws one leg over the cafeteria bench, straddling it. 
“We weren’t ‘hanging out’.” You scoff.
“Right, right. I was groveling, my bad, princess.” He laughs. 
You look up at Nancy and she’s shaking her head, lips pursed tightly, holding back her ‘I-told-you-so’ smile. Eddie doesn't typically bother you at lunch, so to Nancy, this very much looks like him 'getting worse'.
“Eddie, don't you have somewhere else to sit?” You say, shrugging his arm off your shoulder. 
“What? Can’t come have lunch with my girl?” He teases, scooting closer to you, his knee pushing against your thigh, your shoulder practically resting against his chest. 
“I just barely forgot about the stunt you pulled earlier, you’re pushing your luck, Munson.” You warn.
“Don’t call me that.” He says flatly.
“Munson? That’s your name, isn’t it?” You laugh.
“Nope, not to you it isn’t.” He replies flatly, grabbing a grape off your lunch tray before you can stop him. 
“Is there a reason you’re here?” You say, his arrogance pinching at your agitation.
“Lighter.” He sings, eyes sparkling with amusement meeting yours, stealing another grape in the process. Turning his head, he focuses on Nancy. “Wheeler, how’s it going?”
“Good.” She laughs, still shaking her head. 
“Heard you tattled on me to Princess.” He says, eyebrows raised, a smile playing on his face.
“Eddie, leave her alone.” You huff. You feel his hand raise up your back, settling slowly, before rubbing back and forth. He leans in closer to you, face brushing against your hair.
“Gotta share the attention sometimes, princess.” He whispers just loud enough for you to hear. His breath tickles the shell of your ear and you feel your heart rate pick up.
You sit up straighter, Eddie’s chin knocking into your shoulder as you reach into your front pants pocket.
“Lighter. There. Leave.” You say, finding his free hand to push it into his hold. 
“Good girl.” He teases, quickly pulling you closer to him with a hand on your waist, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 
You feel yourself burning hot and it takes everything in you not to hit him back with some sort of insult but you know if you do he’ll just stick around for longer. 
He gets up from the bench with a coy wave of his fingers and a polite nod to Nancy, disappearing into the crowd of the lunch room.
“Nancy, if you say ‘I told you so’, I swear to god.” You say, holding back your smile as you watch your friend’s eyes burst with amusement. 
“I wasn’t going to say I told you so!” She laughs. 
“I can see it in your eyes Nancy, I know you’re dying to say it.” You reply.
“I won’t say it… but I will say that you’re blushing pretty hard right now.”
“Out of embarrassment! That was embarrassing, Nancy.”
“People aren’t usually that smiley after being embarrassed.”
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Eddie kept his eyes on the prize all night. Not in a creepy way, just to make sure you were okay… and because he just liked looking at you. You were making it awfully hard though, the way you kept disappearing between the groups of people occupying Harrington’s infamous Saturday night party. 
His goal was to sell what he needed to sell, then he could have his fun. So when he sold his last eighth, his heart rate picked up as he bounded through the waves of people to find you. 
He would be lying if he said he didn’t get a pang of nerves when he finally found you, all alone in the kitchen, getting yourself a drink. 
Steve decided late Friday night that the party was on. He called you up and from there you called Nancy. It’s a practiced drill at this point, Steve calls a few people, who call a few more people, and the word gets around pretty quickly. Eddie got news that night, and it was a given he would sell. He always sells at Harrington parties, similar to how you’re always drinking at them. 
“All your friends scurry off on you, Princess?” An all too familiar voice says right into your ear.
“No.” You say flatly, turning to see Eddie at your side. 
“That’s funny, I only see you.” He says, eyes teasingly looking around you before settling back to meet your gaze.
“You should get your eyes checked, there’s like 20 other people in here.” You say, motioning to all the other bodies occupying the room. 
“You know what I mean.” Eddie says, hip bumping yours gently as you pour from a bottle of something highly alcoholic into your cup. 
“Do I?” You laugh before quickly shooting back your drink. 
“Look at her, she’s a professional.” Eddie teases as you scrunch your face through the burning sensation in your throat, some of the liquid spilling down the corners of your lips from your overzealous tilt of the cup. Without as much as a second though, Eddie’s hand raises to you, wiping your chin dry. 
“Why are you so nice now?” You ask, leaning closer to him so he can hear you over the music. 
“I’m not.” He smiles, eyes leaving yours to watch as you set the empty cup down on the counter. He knows he’s lying, you both do. 
“Is it because I sucked your dick?” You giggle.
You take another step closer to him where he leans against the counter. His eyes meet yours again with a mixture of amusement and shock looming on the surface of his gaze.
“You’re more drunk than you look, princess” He holds your gaze, amusement taking the reigns until his eyes lower to the short distance you’ve created between the two of you. 
“I’m not drunk.” You scoff, rolling your eyes. Eddie watches you, you can tell he’s smiling and you’re not even looking at him. 
“Where’s Wheeler gone? You were with her all night.” He asks, changing the subject. You turn your head, meeting his gaze, lifting your eyebrows as you decipher his question. 
“You were watching me all night?” You ask teasingly, a smile playing on your lips. 
“Princess.” He exhales, rolling his own eyes jokingly. The way his little nickname for you rolls off his tongue makes your already dizzy head spin. 
“She went upstairs with Steve.” You answer, letting your hand rest on the counter, pinky brushing the material of his jeans where he leans against the marble countertop. 
“I hope she’s not as drunk as you are.” He replies, eyes on your fingers as you continue to brush them against him. You shake your head. You could tell him that their rendezvous was premeditated, and a recurring pattern between the two, but you don’t want to talk about them. 
“Aren’t you just the sweetest? First you took care of me when I was sick, now you’re looking out for my friends. Such a sweet boy.” You coo, leaning into Eddie, removing your hand from the countertop and placing it flat on his chest to stabilize yourself. 
“Baby, I think you're too drunk, look at you being sweet.” He laughs and you dip your head, hiding the way his words affect you. You’re always ‘princess’, never ‘baby’. It makes your heart beat faster and your skin prickle.
You can’t help but notice how he doesn’t touch you though. He’s always poking and prodding at you in one way or another. Last time you saw him, he was all hands and kisses to your cheeks, but now, nothing.
“Did you make a lot of money tonight?” You ask, stepping in closer to him, your thigh pressing into his as you stand beside him.
“I did good enough.” He shrugs, arms staying closely to his sides and it almost makes you want to pout. He should be grabbing your hand or twirling your hair, doing what he always does. 
“You were busy all night.” You mumble, your head down, watching as you kick at his shoe before stepping over it with one foot. Still leaning against the counter, he shifts, arms moving at his side and you almost get excited before you realize he's just crossing them over his chest. You lower your hand, sitting it closer to his hip as you move to stand directly in front of him. 
“You were watching me all night?” He mocks, copying your same lilt.
“I set myself up for that one didn’t I?” You whisper, head down. He’s still not touching you.
“You did.” He replies, exhaling a laugh. You rest your other hand on his crossed arms, hoping he’ll get the hint but he doesn’t and you sigh, slouching into yourself. 
“What’s wrong, princess?” He asks, quietly.
“You.” You reply flatly. 
“Yeah, but you’re all pouty. You don’t pout. You scowl. Yell. Threaten violence.” He teases gently, dipping his face enough to meet your gaze. 
“You’re not touching me.” You mumble, words so quiet you can barely hear them yourself over the blaring music.
“What was that, sweetheart?” Eddie asks, leaning his ear closer to you. You step in closer to him, pushing your way between his legs.
“I said, you’re not touching me.” You grumble, annoyed that you have to repeat yourself. Even more annoyed when he hears you and still doesn’t touch you. You huff, pushing your body flat against his, but he stops you, hands on your shoulders holding you away from him.
“Princess, I can’t. You’re drunk.” He says firmly, serious eyes meeting yours. Your knee shakes as you try to stop yourself from stomping your foot. 
“You can. You just want to piss me off.” You say, funnelling all of your emotions and forcing them into a short lived anger. 
“Trust me, that’s not why.” He says softly, thumbs rubbing gentle circles on your shoulders. You happily focus on his simple caresses on your bare skin, but the feeling it gives you just leaves you wanting more.
“You're touching me right now, Eddie. Just keep doing that.” You whine, giving him your best pout paired with doe-eyes. His gaze soften, eyes fluttering over your features.
“You’re trouble, you know that?” He says, flashing you a small smile.
“You like it though, that’s why you keep coming back.” You whisper. Eddie’s mouth pulls in a flat line and you think you might have said something wrong. His grip on your shoulders falls and you’re sure you did.
You’re sure you did until you feel his hands meet your waist, pulling you towards him. Your hands slip up his chest and around his neck and you hug yourself to him tightly. You absorb every ounce of him you can, every inebriated sense of yours captivated and buzzing with feelings and flutters. Even through the thump of the bass vibrating throughout the kitchen, you swear you hear his heart, or maybe it’s yours, either way it doesn’t matter because Eddie Munson is holding you just like you wanted him to. 
“I was waiting for you to come find me.” You whisper into the skin peeking out of the collar of his shirt as you press your head to his shoulder.  
In the bustling of the party, you stand chest to chest, arms wrapped around each other like this was the only way things were meant to be. He responds to you through the movement of his hands, rubbing up and down your back, touching you, just like you asked. Soothing you like you didn’t know he could. 
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
“Eddie, you’re not doing it right, you’re supposed to just come in. I’m not supposed to have to ask you.” You whine. 
“Princess, I can’t.” He says, smiling as you try to tug him through the front door of your house. 
“You can, you did it before, remember?” You say, giving him your best pout.
“You were sick.” He says, amusement twinkling in his eyes as he stands firmly outside, your tugs not making him budge in the slightest. 
“I'm going to be sick right now, if you don’t come inside.” You whine, punctuating your words with little stomps of your feet.
You may have taken a few more shots after Eddie broke up your hug earlier. You knew you had him at that point so maybe you took them just to spite him. It made sense at the time and as the night progressed, you were right. He was by your side the whole time, never more than an arm's length away. And when it was time to go home, you didn’t even have to ask, he was already offering you a ride and guiding you to his van.
“Princess, you’re killing me.” He says exasperatedly through a smile before stepping into the doorway. 
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
“Jesus, just drink the water, princess.” Eddie laughs. 
“I’ll do it if you lay down with me.” You say stubbornly. He shakes his head and you drop yourself down onto your pillow. “Please, Eddie. Please.” You plead, your eyes catching the dizzy image of him in the lowlight of your room.
“Drink the water and I’ll think about it.” He says sternly.
“Lay down and I’ll think about it.” You mock, copying his tone.
“You are so…” He laughs, trailing off.
“Good at giving blowjobs?” You giggle, filling in his sentiment. His gaze drops to the floor as he sits on the edge of your bed, shaking his head in disbelief of the moment. 
“I was gonna say ‘impossible’.” He corrects with a laugh. 
You furrow your brows. In attempts to prove him wrong you sit up, taking the water from him and silently finish it small swallow by small swallow until your belly feels impossibly full of water. 
“Done.” You huff, falling back to your pillow dramatically. 
“Good.” He says, hand patting your calf that’s sprawled against the comforter next to him. 
“No. Good girl.” You say, correcting him through giggles. He squeezes your calf, before sitting up enough to put the glass down on your bedside table. 
“Good girl.” He says to appease you, smirk heavy in his features. 
“Was I good enough for you to lay down?” You ask, flashing him innocent eyes. He exhales deeply and even in your spinning state, you know he’s weighing his options. His eyes track the span of the bed before looking back at you, seriousness written across his features.
“No funny business.” He says firmly, making sure to make eye contact so you know he’s serious.
“No funny business.” You agree, nodding your head waiting for him to give in. 
“Only for a few minutes. Sober you wouldn’t want me here.” He says, removing his jacket and tossing it to the floor.
“Yes she would.” You mumble with a pout but quickly get excited when Eddie starts shuffling to lay down. You prop yourself up ready to cozy into him but he stops you.
“Nuh-uh. On your side of the bed, princess.” He says, motioning for you to lay back down. You throw yourself to the mattress with a whined cry. 
“You’re no fun.” You huff, whine building in your chest.
“I’m not here to have fun, princess. This is serious business.” He laughs. 
You continue pouting on your side of the bed, turning enough to watch as Eddie settles into your mattress. His hair sprawls over your pillow, just like before, his throat bobbing as he swallows before turning his head to you.
“Go to sleep.” He says and your jaw drops. His lips curl into a smile, eyes dancing in amusement. 
“You’re mean, you couldn’t even say goodnight? Just go to sleep?” You shrill, trying to focus your gaze on Eddie to get your glare across. 
“Go to sleep.” He repeats, smirking as he reaches his arm to your bedside table, switching the light off, leaving you both in the low glow of the moonlight that sweeps in through your half open curtains. 
“Eddie, I can’t unless you say it nicely.” You argue.
“Princess. Please go to sleep.” He says with teasing lilt.
“No.” You giggle.
“I said it nicely, c’mon princess.” He groans.
“Eddie.” You whine, hearing the annoyance in his voice.
“Princess.” He mocks.
You scan your eyes over him, the low light helping you find where his hand lays at his side. Quietly, you tiptoe your fingers across the mattress until you brush against his hand. Before you can close your grasp, he rips it away with a tut. 
“Eddie, I held your hand when you wanted me to.” You whine.
“That was different.” He replies.
“No it wasn’t! Just hold my hand.” You say, pushing yourself up to try and grab his hand where it lies on his stomach now.
“Lay back down.” He laughs pulling himself further away from you. You drop yourself to the bed, your bottom lip quivering. It’s not for dramatics though, you know Eddie wouldn’t be able to see it.
“No. I’m tired of doing this, I just want you to hold my hand.” You whisper back. Eddie says some kind of teasing response but you ignore it, feeling too lost in the spinning of your head. 
In your current state, you feel a lot of things. Most importantly, you’re confused. These nights usually end with Nancy and Steve. Eddie's existence would have never even crossed your mind, but now, all you want is to be close to him. It doesn’t help that he’s been making you practically beg for his attention all night. It might seem sudden, but it doesn’t come as a surprise to you when you feel your eyes grow wet. Your breathing starts to come out in harsh whines from your stomach that get caught in your throat.
When the first tear falls it feels catastrophic. It feels destructive, disastrous even. It feels like a break in your guard and you aren’t quick enough to catch it. There’s no snark left in the world that could patch this up right now. So you hide.
Pushing your face into your pillow, your tears free fall.
You feel shifting on the bed and you push your face further into the pillow.
“Are you crying?” Eddie asks softly, sounding closer to you now.
You don’t offer a response, your throat feels too tight to speak. You feel like you’re drowning in more than just tears.
“Princess, don’t cry.” He replies gently, all teasing gone from his voice. “I’ll hold your hand, here.” He finds your hand, taking it in his but it’s too late. The floodgates are open, set on their path of destruction, open to exposing damage.
His hand wraps around yours and you feel small. Not because of the size difference but because there’s a reason you don’t show these feelings. There’s a reason it’s easier for you to scowl and yell. This side feels too bare, too soft, too uncomfortable. It’s unfamiliar and scary. It feels like offering yourself up to impending disappointment. It feels like waiting for someone to pick you up and they don’t. 
He pulls your hair, you pull his back. He stands you up, what can you do besides pretend it didn’t hurt?
You should yell, you should scold, you should threaten violence. You should tear your hand away, kick him out.
But you don’t. You couldn’t, not anymore. Not right now.
You just want Eddie, all games aside. You want him in the silence of the night, not through the bass of the music where one of you has to move left while the other moves right. You don’t want to dance the line of whatever this is anymore. 
You pull his hand, willing him to come closer, a silent plea through your tears, and he does. He shifts closer until you're pressed to him, your intertwined hands hugged between your chests as his other hand wraps around you, resting against your back. He soothes you with quiet promises of everything being okay intermixed with his own apologies that only make you cry harder. 
Maybe you’re not the whole reason that you two have ended up here, but you’re half of it, and it takes two to play this game. If you tap out, you’re half of the way to it being over.
If you walk away and he follows, isn’t that just the game changing again? A game of cat and mouse?
Maybe all these metaphors are stupid. Maybe they’re all a figment of your imagination that blossomed as a child from the first time he pulled your hair. Maybe you’re too old for these playground antics. Maybe you’re too old to not say how you feel. 
“I was sad when you didn’t come to pick me up.” You whisper, your sob-filled secret sailing into the darkness of the room as if his chest wasn’t there to catch your secret. 
Your words are as much for you as they are for him, you couldn’t admit your hurt before, but now you do. 
Truth tastes soft in your mouth, not at all like the burn of alcohol you’ve drowned yourself in. It’s not sweet, it doesn’t fix everything, it just creates a storm in your belly. A fight between everything you know, everything you’ve done, and something new. It’s unnatural, it makes you feel sick. 
“I know, princess. I’m sorry.” He whispers in return, his hand rubbing against your back. You imagine with every pass of his hand on your back he’s helping you fight the furries of the storm rising inside of you, but with the storm rising, there is nowhere else for these feelings to go but up. 
“I don’t want you to say sorry, I just don’t want you to do it again.” You cry.
Your throat constricts as you feel bile rising. 
“I won’t. I promise, okay?” He says softly. His words would have eased every metaphorical storm inside you, but this storm has turned literal, you’re about to vomit.
“Eddie, I'm gonna be sick.”
It’s a rush of limbs and a dash down the hall. Everything pours from you, every uncried tear, every burn, every furry, every roar of the storm. Everything you know, everything you’ve done, it all leaves you. And in its wake all you have left is Eddie’s hand rubbing your back, telling you it’s okay. It’s soft and unnatural but you let it absorb you entirely. It burrows into you, finding a place you never knew existed, a place where softness thrives and doesn’t need to be hidden by the guise of anger and indifference.
Eddie brings you back to your bed and in the silence of the night, apologies and promises lay side by side, holding hands. 
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
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notedchampagne · 1 year
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hello. wtf is locked tomb and can you tell me all about it
the locked tomb series is a four part scifi/tragedy trilogy featuring necromancy! its a little hard to quantify because summarizing it depends ENTIRELY on the target audience but it does have broad and expansive themes on love and death and grief and most importantly, the horrors of love.
my bestie quinn summarized it quite nicely over here
if you like romance: the books explore different types of romance and how they will destroy and consume you in different ways. also theres lesbians if that helps
if you like tragedy: i have cried at the end of all three books. it is about how easily you can be consumed by your passions and obsessions
if you like worldbuilding: personally i think the difference between exhaustive worldbuilding and good worldbuilding is that they have the same amount of detail, but good worldbuilding is expressed through the eyes of the characters and not elaborated upon in the narrative. tlt does the latter: its a very fantastic universe that seems almost too confusing to behold at first but the bits and pieces the characters integrate into their dialogue say so much
if you like puzzles: this series made me make a fucking discord channel + use up multiple sticky notes to piece together the plot and stories happening throughout the books. im currently rereading the series in an attempt to make a wikipedia on all the characters from scratch
if you dont like puzzles: im on the dumber side of theory-solving but even if youre lost if you have patience the book does a great job of explaining it all in the end. im very serious. if you have questions they Will be answered you will not be left behind. all the extra background corkboard shit is optional for freaks that want more
if you like humor: i have never giggled so often
if you like milfs / insane older women: theres at LEAST three. get at em boys
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goldengroovy · 13 days
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I like the idea of MC being really quiet and barely speaking in response to Qiu and Tamarack until they truly grow comfortable- then soon becoming a complete chatterbox around the two after trust has been built!
They like talking it can just be tiring and overwhelming, especially around people they don't know...
I just kinda like to imagine how starstruck the two would be once hearing MC talk so much for once after barely giving responses that were three words at best for quite some time...
Tamarack and Qiu with a quiet MC, who slowly becomes a chatterbox
Author Notes at the end!
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STEP 1 !
QIU
-> He is absolutely ready to pounce on anyone who tells you that you should talk more, whether its one of his friends or some random adult on the street.
-> But of course, pouncing on people usually does not end well, so he settles on saying: “They don’t need to talk to you if they don’t want to.”
-> Afterwards, he shoots an apologetic smile at you, and would comfort you at the first sign that you’re uncomfortable from the interaction.
-> Sometimes, he hands you his notepad if it makes it easier for you to communicate.
-> He never lends it to anyone, but you’re special to him. So there’s zero hesitation.
-> Always compliments your handwriting, no matter what. Even if its a super small detail.
-> “I like how you doodle hearts on the dots of your ‘i’s!”
-> You always thought that he would throw away your notes when the day is over, because you could never find them the next day.
-> But he actually stores them in a cabinet full of the things he treasures. (The cabinet is mostly full of your things.)
-> If you like to doodle in his notepad when you guys aren’t conversing, he would make cut-outs of those doodles and stick it on his wall.
-> Always pays extra attention to you. He knows that your communication isn’t purely based on words alone, so he watches closely.
-> Somehow, he doesn’t need to hear you to know how you’re feeling.
“Qiu, you have something in your hair.” You said, quietly, trying to warn him that you were taking a leaf that got stuck to his head.
He was talking to a couple of your classmates, so he was facing away from you. But, the moment your words reached his ear, he immediately jumped to face you.
He was silent for a few seconds.
“Woah.” He said, seeming genuinely awestruck.
As the attention of the conversation suddenly turned to you, you shied away from all of the eyes watching you.
Soon, he realized his mistake, and immediately started talking about something that immediately turned the attention away from you.
Relieved, you let out a short breath. You decided to go to Tamarack, who was doodling something with her new markers.
A few minutes later, you guys were all walking home together. You and Qiu were waiting for Tamarack, who was taking her sweet time talking to Ms. Murray. You didn't mind.
“Hey, um.” Qiu said. Suddenly, he walked a little closer to you, leaning in as if he was about to say something important.
“Hm?” You were a little startled, but it's Qiu. You trusted him.
“Your voice is really nice.” He said, with that determined look.
You smiled. As soon as you did, his face had a fonder expression, like you being happy from his compliment was magic itself.
TAMARACK
-> This girl is the most understanding kid ever.
-> If you don’t want to talk to anyone, Tamarack will gladly talk for you!
-> Having a hard time asking the cashier for your change? She will ask for you! Wondering what an item on a menu is, but too shy to ask the waiter? She’ll have them explaining if full detail in just seconds!
-> If anyone is pressuring you to talk, she will protect you with no hesitation.
-> “That’s mean! You shouldn’t make them talk. They’re quiet, and theres nothing wrong with that!”
-> The times when you do talk, though, she absolutely gushes over your voice, and hits you with the most lovey-dovey eyes.
-> She can talk enough for the both of you! But, if talking gets a little too hard for you, she notices. She notices every time, and is fine with just being with you in silence.
-> When you have something to say but don't want people to hear it, you like to whisper to her ear sometimes, which makes her feel absolutely special.
-> Sometimes, when you whisper to her ear, her hair brushes your cheek. It is unbearably soft.
-> If there's anyone you obviously don't want to talk to, she stands in front of you and puts her arms out. Solid wall of fluff, after all.
You and Tamarack were walking home together. Qiu was a little busy with his other friends, but that's okay!
Your focus was more on Tamarack, anyways. Her hair seemed sparklier than usual.
Without intending to, you stopped walking for a moment. Tamarack, who was a little behind you, stumbled.
“What's wrong?” She asked.
Suddenly, you reached up, getting a feel for her hair. Her hair was soft.
She was a little shocked, but she didn't stop you.
“Tamarack, your hair is so pretty. I like the sparkles.” You said with a gentle smile on your face.
Tamarack, who was barely used to hearing you say three words in a row, was a little shocked. She always found the words she wanted to say, but somehow, you made her speechless.
She stood there for a second, red in the face, before coming back to her usual self.
“Thank you so much!” She said, with the biggest grin you've ever seen. “I like your hair too.”
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A/N: Hello! Author Rivs here! This was so much fun to write! My MC is based of off myself, which is why I was already familiar with the idea of a quiet MC.
I know this only tackles the "quiet" part of the MC, so I am making a sequel to this!
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tgcg · 18 days
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Ya got any tips for writing dialog for the sillies?
i wish i could come up w anything deeply helpful irt this but i just kinda "feel it" & it "happens", generally in a way i find hard 2 explain to people... i will give it a go though
i made a post abt the kind of mindset i have when i write karkat dialogue here https://www.tumblr.com/cgtg/739174575193112576/do-you-have-any-tips-on-writing-karkat-dialogue a while back though🙂
for dave i think id have an even harder time explaining it, but my dave is rly heavily influenced by post-irony & ytp. whenever i write dave i just kinda follow a stream of consciousness that is dubious about shit and loves to laugh i guess? i rlly don't know how to describe it. i tend to reread canon dialogue particlarly from act3-6 for inspo, sometimes i'm straight up using my own brain with some kind of dave-filter
when i write them together i like 2 live in the beautiful world where they both agreed to be earnest with each other, probably my best example of that is "candid detail". i don't do that all the time bc i also like to write em with their guards up e.g. "bad mouther hole master", theres a lot of points in their relationship that have rly fun dynamics 2 me.
i guess i also do them kinda silly. ive been told my dk is quite silly. i like 2 imagine they know how to make each other laugh. they also learn a lot from each others perspectives on things, like insecurities or bad experiences or even just what they like / what art is to them, stuff like that. in my interp they do rly end up having a lot of things in common ideologically bc they're both at their cores very soft people.
it's all abt big long sentences with an undertone of quiet empathy. it can also be about aggressively bumping shoulders w their own egos too because that's fun
fundamentally though, i write them 2 be genuinely interested in what the other has to say. like, curious about each other. it gives u rly fun back & forth that isn't too mean-spirited & is more playful/genuine... i think it's rlly easy to write them totally discrediting each other's viewpoints which i do sometimes too (again, FUN !) but if u do it in the wrong context it just comes off as needlessly sardonic & harshes the vibe. i mention that bc i have a hard time balancing their egos & genuity myself sometimes
also very important to know when to have them run their mouths & when to have them sit their asses down & LISTEN. i tend to have them run their mouths a lot in scripts i havent finished/posted, just bc i have so much fun doing it, but it makes the dialogue so long-winded that i can't turn it into a comic... yeah definitely part of it is remembering they both know how to be succinct when they need/wanna be and aren't ALWAYS flapping their mouths. sometimes i realise a script is going in a direction that could be a whole other convo & that's when i tend 2 nip it in the bud
i really dont kno if any of this is helpful but i hope it is a little 4 my kinda... process i guess 🙂
thank u 4 asking me abt it ! if i think of better ways 2 explain it i will share in da future i hope u r having a good day
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saintmeghanmarkle · 2 months
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Megan's pr plan gossip. by u/deedee50
Megan's pr plan+ gossip. We all know that Megan calls the paps to car parks etc and other exciting places where she can be photographed. After she was seen entering an eatery that Cameron Diaz and Benjamin McFadden were outside that was turned into a story about them dining along with Gwyneth who happened to be there at the same time. The reason Megan put out the story that they had had dinner together knowing it was completely false was to be able to then ring said celebrities in this case Gwyneth and Cameron, so she could apologise for the false press, and ask if they'd like to meet for a drink or a bite to eat somewhere more private and get to know each other. Also pulled this trick with Travolta (who quickly shut it down).Megan asked and got a list of WMEs clients who might be open to a mutually beneficial friendship contract, unfortunately apparently there were only 18 names all c-d list, real housewives/selling sunset types. Not 1 A.Lister. She has started drinking more than usual, crying to h, why does everyone hate me?? Etc. Also seems convinced and has convinced h that they will get back in the RF fold, using public pressure of constantly holding out olive branch's that are rejected, the atmosphere is very much "they owe us, after what they put poor meg through just like husbands mummy"The person who drops me this info is soon starting to seek out offers that the payout would more than cover being sue'd by the litigious harkles and keeps a detailed diary. The majority Of information is only gained because madam seems to have 2 levels of voice shout and shout louder when things don't go her way. I've told before how staff talk and laugh that even garden staff know whats going on it's that loud. plus theres caneras EVERYWHERE manned by security also privy to what's going on, he still wants her, she tolerates him, they fight a lot Doria is ref. This is all alleged, I've explained how I get the info, and why and it's up to you if you wish to think it's true, partly true or false. I'm saying this as I love this forum, the posters are intelligent ,witty and fun and it brings me relief from real life, so that's why I post, and my friend is aware I post here. post link: https://ift.tt/hQlVkdT author: deedee50 submitted: April 09, 2024 at 06:05PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.
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