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#before anyone says I used the wrong thing for love
masonmontz · 1 day
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heeey, hope you like it:)
REMEMBER: english is not my first language
fluff 🥹 word count: 2,7k
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“What’s wrong, Y/n?” Jaz asked while the two of you were having afternoon coffee in a bakery in Manchester. “You've been quiet since we got here.”
“I'm all worked up, don't worry, it's nothing” your smile didn't reach your eyes and Jaz noticed, and even though you've only known each other for a short time, anyone would realize that there was something bothering you.
You and Mason had been officially dating for a little over two months, but you had met his family before that and you loved them all, it was really great spending the holidays with them in Greece.
“You can tell me, you know, don't you?” she held out her hand and you lightly squeezed her hand across the table, smiling once more and nodding. “Is it something with Mason?”
“Jaz, don’t worry, I’m fine” she rolled her eyes and you smiled, trying to push the thought that had been haunting you for a few weeks to the back of your mind, but it was inevitable.
“Okay, so let's go, I'm already missing my girls” she murmured and you smiled, remembering the photo Mason sent you minutes ago where Summer was putting makeup on him and Mila was trying to put bows in his hair. “Should we take a pie?”
“Please, lemon pie is the best ever” you almost groaned when you saw a lemon pie on the counter, so Jaz went over and asked to wrap it up. “Debbie wants us to stop by the grocery store to pick up something for dinner?”
“She texted me to say she was making lasagna. I've come to Manchester and I need to spend the day at the gym because all I do is eat.”
“She likes to spoil Mason.”
“This is ridiculous, she never makes food like this for me, only for her big baby” you couldn't help but laugh, because they were clearly jealous of the way Debbie treats Mason, and Mason loves being spoiled by them, even though the family is now full of children and he is a grown man.
“He takes advantage because he knows she does everything for him.”
“That little devil, was the same thing when he was a child.”
You and Jaz got along really well, the girls adored you too, and you were in love with Mason's nieces and nephew, but it was sad because Stacey lived far away.
You love Mason and his family so much that it hurts, especially because your family lives far away and you miss being welcomed by them, and you found comfort in your boyfriend. However, Mason never said he loved you.
Of course, everyone has their own time and maybe he isn't ready to take that step in such a new relationship, but you listen and notice how easily he says “I love you” to his family. You just wish he would tell you he loves you too.
“Hey, had fun with Jaz?” Mason asked when you arrived at his house, he hugged you and left a kiss on your lips. “I missed you, babe. My family is stealing you from me.”
“They just think I’m cooler than you” you murmured and Mason laughed. Summer ran to you and you walked away from Mason, walking behind her to the coffee table where she was coloring pictures.
“Do you want to color with me? Uncle Masey didn't want to, he said he was tired.”
“Tired, uh?” you asked and looked at Mason who just shrugged and laid down on the couch, because he hadn't done anything all day. “Summer, I'm going to take a shower and then I'll color with you, okay?”
You walked upstairs to take a shower in Mason's bedroom bathroom, and luckily you had some clothes at his place or you would have had to go to your apartment to get them. Mason walked into the room just as you entered the bathroom, you smiled as he followed you into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub, the same way you two do when you're talking in the bathroom.
“I just need some silence, I'll watch you take a shower” you rolled your eyes as you took off your clothes, ignoring Mason's gaze all over your body.
“Hey, the doctor texted me, I think I'm going to need to go to the hospital for a checkup tomorrow” you said, remembering the message the doctor sent you this morning. You were hospitalized for days a month ago because of severe headaches, and now you are being monitored by two doctors to see if everything is okay.
“But are you feeling any pain?” Mason asked worriedly and you quickly shook your head, watching him sigh in relief.
“They want to do new exams, I'm fine. You have training tomorrow, don't you?”
“Yes, but I'll go with you to do the exams and then I'll go to Carrington.”
“No need, Mason, I can go alone.”
“Okay, but call me and text me” you smiled at him, and Mason actually looked worried about you.
Again you thought he hadn't said “I love you” to you yet, and you looked down as you washed your hair and Mason hummed a song under his breath.
“Hey, I bought you something” Mason spoke and left the bathroom. He left the bathroom door open and you could see him walking past the bedroom with a gift box which he placed on the bed before heading back to the bathroom. “I think you'll like it.”
“What is it?”
“You will open it and see, be patient.”
Mason continued talking to you for ten minutes until you finished your shower, and he stayed there until you put on another set of clothes and organized the bathroom.
“Do you want me to dry your hair?” he asked and you looked at him through the reflection of the mirror, Mason was behind you and you smiled feeling love all over your chest. Mason stood up when you nodded, and he looked for the hairdryer he uses when he is really late.
You wanted to cry as you watched Mason drying your hair calmly, focused and sometimes smiling at you. Maybe he doesn't love you, but he definitely likes you, because no man would ever do that, right?
You looked at the floor, feeling your eyes fill with tears and blinked a few times to keep from crying. Mason noticed and turned off the dryer, turning you to face him.
“What’s wrong, babe? You've been quiet for a few days” you didn't want to tell him the real reason you were crying because you were ashamed of doubting his feelings.
“I’m a little bit worried” you said referring to the exam you will take tomorrow, and Mason hugged you and kissed your forehead.
“Nothing will happen, you’re fine and healthy and we will spend our lives together.”
“Really? Do you want to spend your life by my side?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I want to?” you shrugged and smiled, but it still wasn't the answer you needed. “C’mere, let's open your present and put a smile on that face.”
You wiped away some tears and smiled at Mason as he pulled you over to the bed where he had placed the gift. It was a pink package with hearts drawn on it and you felt bad about tearing it, but you still pulled the package open to see what was inside.
“It's heavy, it must have been expensive” you muttered and Mason rolled his eyes.
“You can't guess the price because of the weight” he said and laughed. “Open, open.”
You swear you had stopped crying, but you started crying again as soon as you saw the gift Mason bought for you. Big tears fell as you held the box and cried. Mason stood up worriedly, hugging you.
“What’s wrong? You didn't like it?” You hugged him tightly, crying into his chest and letting your emotions take over.
“It's the most beautiful gift I've ever received.”
You held the box to look at the book nook of a village in Greece, the same one you visited when you were there on vacation. Every detail caught your attention and you couldn't speak as you sobbed, hugging Mason once more.
“Did you like it? I thought of you when I saw it, and you can put it on your bookshelf.”
“I loved it. Thank you, Mase.”
“Stop crying, okay? I just want to see you happy.”
“They are tears of happiness.”
“I'd rather see a smile on your lips.”
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“Y/n, we're going to keep you under observation tonight, okay? Your exams are altered and we need to do new exams to check if everything is okay” Doctor Reid said as he entered the room, and you sighed sitting in the hospital hallway, because it would be another long night alone in that scary place.
“But am I okay?” your heart was racing and deep down you were scared. Since you were hospitalized for the first time this has been consuming you.
“No need to worry, we just need to be sure of the result to know which medicine you can take.”
“Okay” you murmured a little in relief, and a nurse arrived and took you to the room where you would spend the night. You hated the hospital, especially being alone there for a whole night with a needle in your arm.
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You sent Mason a message saying that everything was fine but he didn't reply to you, so you just talked to the nurses who were giving you medicine and making the bed where you would stay.
Half an hour later Mason appeared in the hospital room with your pink bag that he probably filled with things and a black one.
“Hey, no need for all this, it's just one night” you said seeing how many things he brought, so Mason left everything on the armchair and walked towards you.
“I'm worried, are you sure you're okay, love?” he asked and left a kiss on your forehead, then another on your lips. “One bag is mine.”
“Why? You don't have to stay here, you can stay with your family.”
“Only in your dreams will I leave you alone in the hospital, Y/N.”
“No, seriously, Doctor Reid said it's just for some tests, you can't leave your family alone there, they came to see you.”
“Hey, I'm going to stay here and I already told the coach that I'll be late tomorrow.”
You huffed, because there was nothing you could say to make Mason change his mind.
He just lay down next to you on the hospital bed, and kept you company for hours until he went to the hospital cafeteria to get something for you both to eat. He came back and stayed by your side the whole time, and when you fell asleep, Mason held you close to him and kissed your hair, snuggling into you and sleeping too, because where you are is where he feels good.
“Thank you for spending the night with me at the hospital” you said as soon as Mason dropped you off at your apartment, and he was already late for practice but didn't seem to care.
Luckily, the doctor said everything was fine and there was no reason to worry anymore, he just prescribed you some medicine to take when you have other headaches.
“You know I would stay by your side in the hospital for a month if necessary” he mumbled and you smiled, hugging him one last time before he ran off because he was late.
“I love you” you yelled, and Mason just blew you a kiss before closing the door.
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Mason has been traveling with the team and you are increasingly drowning in the thoughts that he doesn't love you. You cried a few times alone at home, watching a romantic movie or seeing someone post love quotes on the internet.
You're at rock bottom.
You were so lost in your own thoughts crying while watching The Longest Ride that you didn't notice Mason entering your apartment.
“Y/n? What’s wrong?” he asked and you got scared, trying to wipe away your tears so he wouldn't see, but it was too late.
“I'm just crying because of the movie” you pointed at the screen right at the moment Luke is picking up Sophia for a date, and there was no reason to cry.
“Hey, I know you, there's been something bothering you for days and you still haven't told me what it is. I'm getting worried and so is my mum, she said you've been quiet.”
Mason pulled you from the couch and you let more tears fall, you stood in front of him and looked him in the eyes.
“I don't want to look like a fool.”
“You know I’d never think that of you, love” he tucked your hair behind your ear.
“It's just that…” you stopped, unable to speak, but Mason encouraged you. “Do you love me?”
“What?” he asked, breathing a sigh of relief and laughing, but you cried when he didn't answer.
“You never said you loved me, and it's okay if you don't feel anything-” Mason put his hand over your mouth when you sobbed, and he stopped you from continuing to speak.
“Oh my God, I can't believe you're crying over this, baby” Mason held back his laughter. “Do you think I don't love you?”
You shrugged and looked at him with sad eyes.
“I said I love you several times” he murmured.
“No, you never said, actually.”
“I said yeah. I showed it. I showed you I love you when I introduced you to my whole family. I showed you I love you when I introduced you to my friends. I showed you I love you when I took you on a trip with my family because I know they would love you as much as I do.”
His heart was racing, and Mason continued speaking.
“I show you that I love you every day. I show you that I love you when I buy you books, when I take you out to dinner. I love you so much that I bought you a book nook from Greece for you to put among your books because it was our first trip together.”
“I showed you that I love you when I stayed by your side in the hospital for an entire night, and don't get me wrong, it wasn't to get something in return, I did it because I love you and I wouldn't leave you alone.”
“I- I” you sobbed as Mason hugged you. Now you look like a fool, because you were so focused on the words that you didn't pay attention to everything Mason does for you every day. “I’m sorry.”
“If you need to hear it, I'll say it. I love you. I love you so much Y/n that it hurts. I love you so much that I would spend a week eating your failed recipes just to make you happy. I would listen to Taylor Swift for the rest of my life just to show you that I love you. I love you.”
You were laughing and crying, and Mason was smiling too as he pulled you to sit next to him on the couch.
“I can tell you that I love you every day if you want, but I prefer to show you.”
“I'm such an idiot, my God. It's just that you say that you love your family all the time and you've never said it to me even the times I've said it.”
“Because they have the habit of saying I love you and that's why I do it, but I say I love you when I'm stuck to you all the time and don't want to let go.”
“I feel like a fool.”
“No, love, you know you don't.”
“I love you.”
“I love you. Sorry I didn't realize you wanted to hear it.”
“No, I want you to show me.”
“Ah, you don't even know what you want” he said and kissed you.
“I know exactly what I want. You. For the rest of my life.”
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nerdy-novelist017 · 9 hours
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Soaked (Benny Cross x Shy!Reader Reader pt 8)
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Hello, my lovelies! Sorry this took forever to write and post but I’ve been very busy with real life (ew) and I’m actually posting this while I’m on vacation. I wrote it on the plane and am posting in the car so please be kind if you see any mistakes hehe 😉
Benny x Bunny Masterlist
Word Count- 4.7k+
Summary- Benny’s never wanted anything as much as he wants to marry you, but with such different lives, you’re not so sure it will be as easy as he claims.
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You felt the wind surge around you as Benny accelerated down the main road, his motorcycle roaring beneath you both. The world blurred past in a whirlwind of colors, but all you could focus on was the way your heart lifted, how a thrill of excitement shot through you as you zoomed past the rest of the gang. He did it just because he knew it’d make you giggle. And you did, the sound escaping you in a way that felt so carefree, so full of joy especially as you shot past Johnny and the others, leaving them in your dirt.
The wind was relentless, blowing your hair out of its carefully manicured braid, but you didn’t find yourself caring much anymore. The days spent with Benny had a way of shifting everything you thought had mattered. The things that once held so much weight – social status, gossip, public appearances – no longer seemed as important anymore. With Benny, it was almost like discovering a whole new world. No, not a new world. The same streets passed beneath the tires, the same faces you once worried about still existed. The world was still the same, but it was how he viewed it that felt so different. He didn’t care what others thought about him, didn’t pay attention to their expectations. He lived in his own world, surrounded by others like him that didn’t conform to the societal molds – people that you wouldn’t have even approached just based on their appearance. You never considered yourself a very judgemental person, but because of Benny, you have met and befriended people you could have never imagined.
That’s one of the things you loved about Benny. He wasn’t like anyone you had ever met before. He was different. And you were beginning to love that too.
He pulled off the main road, stopping in his signature spot in front of the club house. The roar of the rest of the gang pulling up sounded in the distance as Benny helped you off the bike. He held his grip on your hand, lacing his own fingers through yours as he pulled you gently into the bar. You followed him inside where the Vandals’ laughter and chatter soon filled the air. A familiar buzz of camaraderie enveloped the place, and before long, you found yourself seated around the table with a few of the core members. Benny was close – as always – with his arm draped over your shoulder.
“Hey, Bunny,” Cockroach’s voice cut through the sea of noise as he leaned forward and used his beer bottle to point at you. “When are you finally gonna say yes to our boy Benny, here?”
You stiffened slightly, the weight of the question hanging in the air and drawing the attention of the others at the table.
“Oh yeah,” Corky piped up, one eyebrow playfully cocked in a challenge. “He’s been asking, what, 100 times now? What’s the holdup? He’s not getting any younger, ya know?”
Heat filled your face at their teasing. Though Corky’s words were a bit of an exaggeration, they weren’t technically wrong. Since your kiss behind the clubhouse, Benny has asked you to marry him almost every day, sometimes more than once in a day. It had started by him mentioning married life in casual conversation, and you jokingly pointed out that he hadn’t actually proposed to begin with – not traditionally. And you were shocked to see him abandon everything he was doing in the moment to ask you to marry him. You giggled and rolled your eyes at his dramatics, but something deeper inside you caused your heart to flutter nervously. Since then, he’s asked several times, some in passing, a casual remark slipped into the conversation. Other times, he’d pause what he was doing, drop to one knee and grin up at you as if he were waiting for you to give in. But each time you’d laugh it off, brush it aside as him being unserious.
“Maybe I’m just waiting for the right moment?” you replied as you timidly played with the chain of your necklace, trying to reflect the attention.
“The right moment?” Cockroach parroted in disbelief. “He’s been proposin’ left and right for a week. Hell, I’d have said yes after the first time if it were me!”
The group laughed, and you tensed under Benny’s arm, wanting to melt into the floor from embarrassment. Benny squeezed your hand reassuringly, and he leaned, his voice dropping to a low murmur that was only meant for you, “They don’t mean nothin’ by that, you know that.”
You nodded, not trusting your own voice. He was right, you knew that. They didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but the constant razzing – especially with this particular subject – was start to weigh on you.
“Yeah, c’mon, Bunny,” Cal chimed in from across the way, “What’s it gonna take? Benny’s a catch! He’s got the bike, the looks, the . . . mommy’s issues. If you don’t say yes soon, you might lose your chance.”
That playful jab was too much for Benny who stiffened next to you. You expected him to get angry, to blow up like you had seen your father do when he was upset. But instead, Benny leaned forward, eyes narrowing with a playful glint that you had come to adore. The table was buzzing with laughter, but he wasn’t about to let the spotlight stay on you for too long. Without missing a beat, he flashed a grin at Corky, his hand raised as he said, “Alright, alright. But let’s not pretend you all ain’t desperate for a distraction since none of you can keep a bike upright without fallin’ on your asses.”
The table roared with laughter and Corky’s mouth fell open in mock offense. “That was one time! And I had an oil slick!”
“Johnny immediately jumped in, “Yeah Corky, an oil slick you created when your bike was leakin’ everywhere.”
Laughter erupted again and you shot Benny a grateful look as the guys started ribbing Corky about his infamous fall. Benny’s eyes met yours briefly, his thumb brushing your hand under the table in a silent message: I’ve got you. Most of the group knew you were shy and did not appreciate being the center of attention in a crowd, and they respected that. However, there were a few class clowns (as Benny called them) who loved to tease you, knowing it could get a reaction without fail. But Benny never let it go on for long, always shutting them down when he recognized your discomfort.
They’ve never teased you about marriage though. You had to wonder if Benny had voiced his irritation to them at some point or if they had picked up on your hesitation organically. Either way, it left you feeling bad. Excusing yourself, you wiggled out of Benny’s grasp as you stood and made your way for the restroom, needing a moment to breathe, to clear your head. But just as you reached the back of the bar, a voice stopped you.
“You ain’t gotta worry about what they say to you,” Funny Sonny stood leaning casually against the bar top as he sipped a glass of whiskey. “That just means they like you, accept you.”
You paused, glancing over your shoulder at the table of rowdy bikers. “I’m just not . . . used to it. All the teasin’.”
Sonny nodded, his disheveled hair falling into his eyes as he grinned. “You’ll get used to it. Won’t be long till you’re the one throwing out the first jabs.”
He said it so nonchalantly, as if it were the most obvious course of action, as if you weren’t from completely different worlds. You furrowed your brows, eyes casting downwards as you admitted, “I’m not so sure about that. I’m not at all like you guys.”
“You don’t gotta be like us to be with us. We’re family here and family means lookin’ out for each other, even the ones who came from different backgrounds,” he said, his voice lowering a register to a bit more of a serious tone.
His words settled over you like a warm blanket, the concept so foreign yet so familiar. Family. You knew what that was, you had one, you were loved by one. But for some reason, it felt like it meant something different with the Vandals. They chose their family, stood by them despite no blood relation. Your parents loved you, you knew that. They showed it in their own ways every day. But by default, they had to love you. With the Vandals, they chose to care for each other, chose to look out for each other. In a way, it almost seemed more powerful, more profound.
Being Benny’s girl didn’t just mean he alone had your best interest at heart. It also meant having the rest of the Vandals on your side too, all of them looking out for you. You weren’t sure if you’ve ever experienced such an intense loyalty before, even from blood relatives. And it left you with a warm feeling in your chest.
When you returned to the table, Benny was already standing as if he were waiting for you. His eyes met yours with a slight unease, almost like he thought you wouldn’t come back, like he thought you were so upset that you’d sneak out the backdoor.
“Wanna go for a night ride?” he asked, his voice soft as his hand extended out for you.
Your heart squeezed at his thoughtfulness. He knew how much you were growing to enjoy the feeling of blazing down the empty streets under a star-filled sky with him. A smile tugged at your lips, and you took his hand without hesitation, nodding.
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips as your hand slid into his own. You were vaguely aware of the groans and exaggerated protests from the table about the night being still young, but you didn’t hesitate to follow Benny as he led you to the door. He pulled you along to his Harley, the cool and fresh air a welcome change.
The tension from earlier still lingered as Benny’s hand touched your leg, helping you onto the back of the bike. You wrapped your arms around his torso, pressing your face into his back, finding solace in the familiar scent from his jacket.
He drove you around the city, stars and stop lights shining above, engine roaring below. He eventually pulled off the main drag, heading down a quieter road that led out of town. The blacktop blurred beneath you as he slowed the speed to more of a lazy joyride. He took a familiar turn, stopping at the small pull off area before a bridge. The sound of the engine faded as he brought the bike to a stop, the air filling with crickets’ song. The night’s air was breezy, but a welcome change from the hot, loud atmosphere of the clubhouse.
Benny dismounted first, reaching out to help you down. His touch – lingering longer than necessary – against your arm felt electric, sending a jolt of butterflies to your stomach, his eyes searching your face as if he was trying to read your thoughts. The two of you walked over the concrete bridge, pausing once in the middle. You leaned over the railing, getting lost in the gentle swirl of the water below. But Benny was lost in the sight of you.
“You alright?” he asked, his voice low, the usual playful teasing replaced by something softer and reserved only for you.
With your heart beating hard at his gentle tone, you nodded. “I’m fine.”
He frowned, reaching out to brush a loose strand of hair from your face. “I know the guys can be a bit much. I don’t like when they tease you like that. I didn’t mean for them to make you uncomfortable.”
You couldn’t help but smile a bit at his words, knowing that wanting to protect you was something he took very seriously, even if it meant from his own friends, his own family.
“I know,” you responded softly, leaning your chin on your hand over the railing.
“I’ll talk to them, make sure they won’t raz you like that anymore,” he promised, his expression serious.
“It’s not that. It’s just . . . I don’t know. It’s a lot to get used to,” you admitted gently. Before Benny, you’d never even been in a bar before, never ridden a motorcycle, never stayed out past curfew. He was a completely different experience than you were accustomed to. And now he wanted you to marry, after only knowing him for a few weeks. He wanted to be your husband, your partner for life. Your life felt like a bit of a whirlwind ever since you met him, but you wanted to be certain it wasn’t just fun because it was new.
He didn’t say anything for a moment, just stood there, his eyes tracing your features, his hand resting over your own. You could practically see the gears turning in his brain, something in him conflicted. Finally, he released a soft sigh, putting an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in close. “You don’t have to answer them, you know. Hell, you don’t have to answer me. Not till you’re ready.”
Your heart skipped a beat as you breathed in his scent – leather, smoke and something uniquely Benny. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I . . . ”
Benny pulled back slightly, his fingers tilting your chin up to meet his gaze, his thumb gently brushing your cheek. “Hey, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, not even me. You’ll say yes when you’re ready. And when that time comes, I’ll be here. I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
A smirk tugged at the corner of your lips as it was your turn to kid. “How do you know I’ll say yes?”
Benny’s smile was gentle but still roguishly confident. His hand lingered on your cheek, his fingers tracing down the curve of your jaw as if he were mapping every detail of you. “I just know. When you feel it – when it’s real – you just know.”
He said it so simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, as if love were the most uncomplicated concept. You didn’t understand that, couldn’t see it that way. You’d seen the love your parents shared and that was beautiful and kind but it was also messy and cruel more often than not. And you understood that your parents were not the only representation of what love and marriage was supposed to be, but it was a constant presence in your life. They didn’t have perfect love, not like what you’d see in the movies or read in books. And you wondered if maybe you were giving too high of expectations for what love was supposed to be, but what you felt when you were around Benny . . . well, it felt exactly like the books described.
The way he looked at you, as if you were the most important thing in the world, made you feel so seen. The way he listened to you as if you were the most entertaining show, made you feel so heard. And the truth was undeniable: you were falling for Benny faster than you thought possible. It was terrifying. Benny was all fire and freedom, a rebel who didn’t play by the rules, who followed his own path with reckless abandon. And you admired that about him, but the thought of stepping into his world permanently felt like stepping off a ledge into the unknown.
“What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?” he asked, pulling you back into the present.
You pulled back slightly, biting your lip in contemplation before speaking your mind, “Don’t you wonder if there are other girls out there that you haven’t even met yet? Girls who are more suited for you?”
He shook his head, his voice light as he said, “Nah, I know you’re the only one for me, kid.”
“But marriage is serious. It’s forever.”
His hand slid down to your hip, turning you to face him fully, his expression solemn. “I never . . . I never thought marriage was real. The way I saw my mom and old man together . . . what they had wasn’t love. And I realized that at an early age. I didn’t think it was something that was real, just a bunch of fairytale bullshit you tell little kids. The girls I’ve been with, girls that may have been more suited for me, have never made me feel what I feel with you, Bunny. This is serious to me too because it proves everything I’ve never believed in.”
Emotion caught in the back of your throat as you pictured the man standing before you as just a boy living in a toxic household, an unloving home. It made you want to hold him tight, to shield him from the rest of the world. The man who held you so gently, who took you for night rides just to cheer you up. The man who came to your bake sale when nobody else did. The man who promised to drive slow so as not to scare you. The man who said he’d follow you all the way to California so that you didn’t have to go by yourself. The man who taught you about his hobbies with eagerness, and listened to yours with attentiveness.
He deserved to be loved in the same way he loved. But the tragic thing was that he didn’t see that, couldn’t comprehend someone loving him like that. He was damaged by his childhood, and you realized that he didn’t think he was worthy of repair. But you’d show him that he was, that he was worthy of everything he never had.
Slowly, you lifted your hands to gently cup his face, and his breath hitched in his throat. There was a shift in his expression – his usual teasing and bravado now replaced with some raw and unguarded as though he was offering you a glimpse into a deeper part of him, one rarely ever shown to anyone.
He pressed his forehead to yours, his voice dropping to a soft murmur. “You’re not just some girl to me, Bunny. You know that, right?”
The words sent a shiver down your spine. He wasn’t playing around now, not hiding behind his usual flirty quips. His sincerity was almost overwhelming. You swallowed thickly. “But what if I mess this up? What if I’m the one who can’t do this?”
Benny’s brows furrowed and he lifted a hand to brush across your cheek, his touch gentle but grounding. “You won’t. You couldn’t, even if you tried.”
“You’re making it sound so easy,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, as if you didn’t quite believe him.
Benny could feel your tremble, the shaky laugh betraying your nerves you were trying so hard to hide. He could sense your heart racing, and he wanted so desperately to be the one to soothe it, to take away the hesitation in your eyes. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip, the soft curve of it making his heart ache in his chest. He loved how your lips quivered just slightly under his touch. He loved making you blush, loved teasing you until you looked at him like you were annoyed or completely at his mercy. But this . . . this was different. His touch lingered on your lip, slow and almost reverent as he savored the way you responded to him. It wasn’t about teasing anymore – it was about showing you what you meant to him.
“It is,” he murmured, his voice a little rougher than he intended “It’s easy because it’s you.”
The air between you felt electric as his hand slid down the curve of your neck, his fingers lingering there, feeling the steady thrum of your heartbeat that seemed to match his own wild one. He ducked his head slightly as he whispered, “You’re scared. But you don’t need to be.”
He meant it, more than he meant anything in his life. He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes again, searching for any sign of doubt, any sign that you didn’t feel the same way he did. Your eyes – wide and uncertain – met his, and Benny felt the weight of his words over them both.
“How can you be so sure?” you asked, your soft voice almost disappearing in the night.
And how could he explain it, especially since he’s never been good at explaining his feelings? How could he put into words what was so abundantly clear to him? That you made everything – even the most outrageous things – seem possible. That with you, he didn’t feel like just some fuck-up waiting for the next diaster. With you he felt grounded, like he belonged somewhere. Like you saw him for more than just the wild, reckless kid everyone else saw.
“Because you make me sure,” he responded with a gentle, encouraging smile as his hands moved to tilt your chin upwards to him. “You make my life feel like it’s supposed to.”
His gaze moved down to your mouth once more as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, and he simply couldn’t resist anymore. He closed the gap, brushing his lips so softly against your own. The kiss was gentle, tender, but as you responded to his touch, the need that had been simmering inside him for so long flared to life. His hands dropped down to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer, smiling into the kiss when he heard your slight gasp.
His heart pounded in his chest as the world seemed to fade away briefly until it was just you and him, just this. He never wanted to stop, never wanted to let you go.
But you did eventually pull away, the need to breathe becoming all consuming. Breathlessly, he pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes remaining closed as he focused on slowing his pulse. His hands remained on your waist, holding you like you might slip away if he let go.
“You see?” he whispered as his lips brushing against your forehead softly. “It’s easy being with you.”
You giggled and his heart soared at the melody. It took everything in him not to pull you back into another kiss, not to hold onto you like you were the only thing that kept him grounded.
His lips still tingled from the kiss, and he could taste the faint sweetness of your breath, the softness of your lips. It wasn’t enough. It never felt like enough for Benny. He wanted more of you. He’d never wanted anything like he wanted you, never craved anyone like he craved you. It was almost unbearable, like every second where he wasn’t touching you was a second wasted.
And yet, he knew you were scared. He could see it in the way you looked down at your shoes, could hear it in the timidity of your voice. It only made him want to protect you more, to make you see that being with him would never be something you had to fear. But he didn’t know how to say that without sounding like he was pushing, without making you feel like you were being rushed into a decision that was as much about you as it was him.
But damn if he didn’t want to make you his.
He opened his eyes and pulled back enough to look at you face again, to really take you in. And my god, the way you were looking up at him with those wide, innocent eyes made his chest tighten. And you didn’t even realize how much power you had over him. One look, one smile, and he was a goner.
Before either of you could speak, thunder cracked off in the distance, bringing you both back to the present, back to the rest of the world. You glanced up at the dark clouds that blew in to cover the stars, wondering how long you had stood on this bridge with Benny.
“Guess we should get back,” you said sheepishly.
“Guess so,” Benny replied with a lazy grin as though the storm could come crashing down and he’d still be perfectly content standing here with you.
“Do you think it’s going to rain?” you asked as you walked to his bike, glancing up at the thick, dark clouds blowing in from the west.
“Nah,” he said as he swung a leg over the bike with that signature confidence that made your heart race. “We’ll be fine.”
Famous last words.
******
By the time Benny pulled up to your house, rain was pouring from the sky like a waterfall, fat and heavy droplets splattering onto the sidewalk. Despite wearing Benny’s Vandals jacket, the rain had completely soaked you. Your hair, which had been meticulously pinned up just hours ago, was plastered to your face, and your dress clung to your body like a second skin.
You didn’t wait for him to shut off the bike before you hopped off and tugged on his sleeve.
“C’mon!” You laughed, tugging on Benny’s sleeve as you ran for the safety of your porch overhang. Your heels splashed through the water pooling on the blacktop, and he followed quickly behind, his warm hands finding your waist to steady you from falling as you both stumbled beneath the overhang.
Breathless and grinning like an idiot, you turned to face him, and you were momentarily stunned by the sight. Rainwater rolled down from his usually swept up hair, sliding down the curve of his cheekbones and falling off his jawline. He only wore a whote t shirt, the wet fabric turning almost transparent as it clung to every ridge, every toned muscle and you blinked before your gaze shot back up to his face. Even as wet as a drowned rat, he still managed to look so effortlessly sexy.
He was grinning at you with that boyish expression, and heat filled your face at the realization that you were just as soaked as he was but definitely not as pretty a sight. You probably looked like a mess — makeup smeared, hair ruined — but he was staring at you like you were the only thing that mattered in the world.
“Not gonna rain, huh?” you teased, quirking an eyebrow at the heavy rainfall just off your porch.
“Just a light sprinkle,” he returned easily, but you noticed he had to bite his bottom lip to keep from laughing.
“Do you wanna come in?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. “To dry off?”
He sobered instantly, his gaze raking over your form before moving to your front door. He’d never been inside your house, never seen where you call home, where you lay down at night and replay your memories of him. There was never really an option for him to be inside your house. He’d never met your parents — despite asking multiple times to meet them, but you couldn’t bring yourself to put neither your parents nor Benny though that. Deep down, you knew your father would never approve of Benny, never give him his blessing. It was a disaster waiting to happen when he found out that you were dating a biker. You begged your mother to keep it a secret to which she obliged, but you knew it wouldn’t be long till he found out.
Benny took a full step back from you, hesitation obvious in his face, his voice low and almost regretful he said. “I—I better not, Bun.”
Normally, you wouldn’t ask again after being denied, wouldn’t be so bold. But you weren’t the same girl you were a few weeks ago before you met Benny. Emboldened by the perfect opportunity to have him inside your home, to share a piece of yourself with him, you stepped forward.
You took a step forward, your voice soft but sure. “My parents aren’t home. C’mon, just to dry off and wait till the rain lets up a little. You can’t drive in that anyway. It’s not safe and I won’t let you.”
Benny released a breath that sounded a lot like a laugh as he shook his head, clearly conflicted by your invitation. And for a moment, you thought he might shake his head and turn away. You thought he might face the rainstorm and leave you behind.
But instead, he nodded and your heart soared at the small gesture. Filled with hopeful energy, you shot him a smile, moving to open the front door and invite him inside your home, inside your world.
-Tag List-
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pedroshotwifey · 18 hours
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what about a drabble about a first date with logan who's trying so so hard to have manners and be a gentleman but he's nervous and keeps messing up and its so adorable and cute????? of course reader tells him to chill out and be his normal fucking self because that's who she likes. I felt so bad for him in a clip that's circulating on tiktok where someone says to him that he's not the kind of guy they'd take home bc that's only for good guys
Okay so I loved this so much and then I got excited ab writing Logan and it turned into more of a fic than a drabble, but here it is 😭
First time writing him so I hope it sounds alright! I did use a little something from the recent movie to add a bit of oomph to the ending. Again, thank you much for this request, it's so cute 🥰
Just realized I made it an f!reader insert, but if you want to message me, I can easily switch some things around and repost if you want a diff reader!
The Right Guy
Pairing: f!reader x Logan/Wolverine
W/C: 1.1k
Fluff/diet angst, Just a few F bombs here, nothing bad (they told me absolutely no coke)
******
You scold yourself as you check the small watch on your wrist for the tenth time in ten minutes. In your defense, the time is absolutely crawling by. Logan should be here for your first date in about five minutes, and you’re nervous as hell.
You’ve been crushing on him since you were hired at the mansion a few months ago, so since he asked you out a week ago, your stomach has been constantly swarmed by butterflies. He’s sweet, funny, carefree, but mature—and not to mention sexy as hell. You really don’t want to mess this up. 
Lucky for you, it seems that he feels the same. He tends to be a little more nervous around you, his blush more prominent when you tease him. It both comforts you and gives you confidence. He seems to genuinely like you for who you are. 
Because of that, you decided to wear your favorite dress for your date. He told you he’d be taking you to a restaurant, but didn’t get specific, so it was honestly the safest choice anyway. It’s one of those that could be casual just as easily as it could be fancy. A few well-selected pieces of jewelry can make a world of difference, after all. 
You glance in the mirror, and then back at your watch. It’s right as the long hand makes a round to signify that it’s two before seven that you hear a sharp knock at your door. You jump up from your seat, slightly startled. If anyone had been in the room with you, you'd probably be embarrassed. 
Thankfully, since you’re home alone, you ignore the scare and head for your front door. You take one more deep breath and pull on the knob to reveal your handsome date. You look Logan up and down, expecting his usual outfit—blue jeans, a white shirt, and either his leather or jean jacket. What you get instead, is a suit. You have to make a physical effort to not show your confusion. Okay, maybe you expected a nicer shirt or something—ironed jeans if he really wanted to go crazy—but a suit? 
“Oh, hey!” Unfortunately, it’s a bit harder to keep the confusion out of your voice. Don’t get it wrong, it’s nice of him to try to dress up for you, and he does look very nice, but he doesn’t look like Logan. Your eyes catch on his hair—the usual tufts you love so much look to be somewhat flattened by a gel. 
It’s while you’re distracted by this that he reveals a hidden hand holding a bouquet of flowers—your favorite, actually. So why do you feel almost…disappointed? No, that can’t be it. It’s so cute that he’s putting all this effort in for you, but you really just want the normal Logan.
“Oh, wow,” you say, trying to shake off whatever this strange feeling is. “Thank you, Logan.” 
You carefully accept the flowers and step aside to let him inside while you put them in water. It’s strange that he hasn’t said anything else yet. Wait, should you say something? No, he usually says something. There’s usually a joke cracked by now. It’s weird that he’s not, right? Ugh, maybe it’s you being weird? The awkward tension between the two of you is suffocating.
You’re almost disoriented with your overthinking as you move about your kitchen, pulling down a vase to fill with tap water. Logan, of course, notices. 
He softly clears his throat. “Everything alright?”
You set the vase down on your island and look at him, lips pursed. Should you say something? Well shit, he probably sees something wrong by now—you’re staring at him like you want to say something. Damn it. 
You open your mouth and close it again. How do you even say what you want to say though? 
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” you lie. Right to his face. 
You smile and walk back to him, trying your best to ignore the expression on his face. Great, now you’re being weird, too. Why the fuck is this weird? 
You breathe out as you close and lock your door, mentally prepping yourself for what you’re really hoping will be a good date. Logan’s waiting for you next to his—
Car? 
Where the fuck is his bike? 
Whatever—it doesn’t matter, it’s fine. Everything’s fine. It’s probably just in the shop or something. 
You give him a tight-lipped smile as you walk to the vehicle, and he opens the passenger door for you. You slide into the seat and wait for him to shut the door before exhaling again. This is all very sweet, but you’ve got to say something. 
You stare at him as he gets into the driver’s seat. Again, he notices. There’s a thick, momentary silence.
“Look, bub, whatever it is, I—”
“You’re not acting like you,” you blurt. 
He stares at you for a second, but you’re pretty sure he knows exactly what you’re saying. You’re pretty sure that’s exactly what he’s trying to do. 
“Logan, you don’t have to put on this show for me,” you say as gently as you can, though it comes out maybe a tad aggravated.
He lets out a slow exhale through his nose and closes his eyes for a blink. You feel bad pointing it out, but there’s no way you can go through a whole date with this stiff act. He opens his eyes back and you offer him a sympathetic smile, your hand reaching out to cup his jaw. He leans into your touch, his own hand coming to envelop yours. 
“I want to go on a date with the Logan I already know, with his bike, and his blue jeans—you move your hand to his hair, messing it up enough to loosen the gel hold—and his crazy ass looking hair.” 
He huffs a laugh, looking at you with tired eyes. You understand how much he must have stressed over all the little details he put in for you. 
“It was very sweet of you to do all this, but you don’t need to perform for me, Lo.” 
He nods slowly, taking a moment to think over everything. “It’s been a long time since I took a chance with somebody,” he confesses, his gruff voice holding an emotion that makes your heart ache for him. “I wanted to be the right guy for you.” 
Your stomach flips. “Logan, you are the right guy for me. You’re always the right guy.” 
Before he can say anything else, you lean forward and plant a kiss on his lips. Surprise halts him for a second, but he’s quick after to reciprocate, his lips moving slowly but passionately with yours. One of his large hands snakes behind you to cup the back of your neck, the other gently tilting your chin. 
You kiss until you’re out of breath, and when you pull away, you let out an airy laugh. Despite the suit, he looks like your Logan again. Wild hair, wild eyes, pink in his cheeks. 
“C’mon, Romeo,” you tease. “Let’s get that damn jacket off and order a pizza and beer.” 
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frodo-with-glasses · 3 days
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Where have you been?
Uhhh, France?
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(That’s a Hamilton reference, btw. I have never been to France.)
So! Another Hobbit Day is upon us. On this day last year, I’d promised you all that we would take another trek through LotR, with all new drawings and poems and fanfics. I fully expected to be finished with Book One by now, at least halfway through FotR. What actually happened is that the blog struggled through the first five and a half chapters of the book before suddenly going radio silent.
So what happened?
Well, as you might expect, real life happened. I won't go into the details here—since it has nothing to do with LotR—but I can explain in DMs if anyone is interested.
Basically, a change in my family led to a reexamination of what I thought I knew about my family, which led to a reexamination of what I thought I knew about myself, which kicked off an intense period of self-improvement.
Over the course of this past year, I began to unpack my family's abuse; I learned about boundaries; I started to unlearn my old people-pleasing tendencies; I reconnected relationships that were broken, reevaluated ones that were in the wrong place, and cut off ones that weren't good for me. I discovered there was a little kid in my head who's been waiting years and years for an adult to love her, and to take her needs seriously, and I finally have the chance to be that adult. And I'm happy to say that I've come to a place where I feel safer in my own head than I have ever been.
Probably very little of that is going to show through on this blog. It's all inward stuff; foundational stuff. But one thing that might affect you guys is that I left my (dreadfully overstimulating and stressful) part-time job, and I'm now working full time somewhere else. As much as I love what I do for a living now, working 40 hours a week does mean that I am become Boring Adult who does not have as much time for interneting. With my current schedule, there is no way I'd be able to sustain the intense schedule of "must post one drawing a day" that I had in the early days of this blog; and I don't expect myself to.
But! I would like to—slowly—get this train rolling again.
I find it hilariously apropos that the last piece of art I posted on this blog was of Frodo suddenly disappearing. From Merry's perspective, he completely vanished without explanation or warning. From your perspective, so did I.
But I find myself here again, on another September 22nd, and once again I'm beginning to feel that pull; that pull to read, and draw, and create, and share, and laugh with all of you. Life has calmed down enough for me that I once again have the mental space to think about pursuing my hobbies. There are so many things I want to do—so much to do with the time that is given to me. And I want this blog to be on that list.
My current goal is to post some new book art every other day. If that's too much, I'll adjust it. But if I find my groove and really get into it, who knows? We might return to your regularly scheduled Daily Dose of Frodo-With-Glasses. We shall have to see.
Anyway. If you've read this far, thank you! If you've stuck with this blog since the early days, thank you. And if you are one of that lovely core Fellowship that has had my back and prayed for me all along, I cannot thank you enough.
This past year has been an absolute ride. Not as difficult as a trek to Mordor, maybe, but not easy either. But no matter where I walked, I knew I didn't have to take the journey alone.
Anyway! Enough sappiness. Happy Hobbit Day! I'm excited to see what the next year has in store for us. 💚
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boy-kings-court · 3 days
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just started s6 with my friend, and it's been bringing back a lot of old emotions so allow me to hopefully say something new or newish about this iconic shot.
first of all, jared does a fantastic job right off the bat with showing something is off with sam, but going back to this season for the umpteenth time I started thinking of something devastating
yes, sam doesn't have a soul. anyone who has watched this season before knows that. we know sam later admits to dean he can't feel the emotions or guilt or fear that he's expecting to and it's been this way for a while.
but think about sam before this reunion.
he comes back with no answers, trauma from the cage before his body was pulled out, but most importantly everything the old sam had sans soul, including sam's sharp mind and all of his memories.
sam's memories of the way he USED to feel, the emotions he used to have, especially about/around dean.
before their reunion he's been nonstop hunting, not sleeping, with the knowledge that something is fundamentally WRONG deep inside. but because he has the old sam's memories, and because he knows how much that sam loved his brother, he was sincere in not wanting to pull dean back into hunting until it was necessary
but then I think about how excited this sam must have been, even if he didn't want to do this to dean. because he's probably thinking 'this is it. this is what I've been missing. this is what could help me. maybe dean is the one person who can make me feel those things I used to'
and at the end of 6x01, he tells dean "I wish you were coming with me," and I used to interpret this as wanting dean to go with him to be his conscience as he hunts (I was like 14 go easy on me) but now I know it's much much MUCH more than that
sam is hoping this reunion will finally set things right within him. he's hoping he'll feel the things the old sam did
in short, this subtle, "off," not-sam-at-all smile from soulless sam tells me one thing: 'dean will help me become sam again'
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and then I want to die
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rainybyday · 2 days
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This is mostly based on these three ideas I had circling in my little head please send help. 
Warring States Period - First Idea
Kaguya won in this timeline and only Team Seven survived, both past and present (Sakura, Naruto, Sai, Sasuke, Tenzo, Kakashi, and Obito (all in a total of seven :D)), and so they went into a new timeline as they used their last bit of Chakra to destroy their timeline so Kaguya will never escape and take over other dimensions 
Relationships 
ObKk because I somehow am in a toxic yaoi shipper cycle, god help
Sasuke and Sakura will stay together because I have a massive pin collection with amazing pins of these two so it made me biased
Naruto and Sai are without any partners since their timeline got fucked
Pray
Ok so let me go over some little details I like to have
Uchihas love so fucken deeply its not even funny so when their loved ones are threatened, all hell breaks loose,
Hatakes are a feral clan and while they are seen as “domestic” in modern times not so much in the Warring States, there are two reactions. One (stupid) people will try to fight them to scare them off (ha) or are scared to high heaven and back away from them
Hatakes have fangs and have habits like touching and calling their close ones pack and mate and pup if considered pack 
Yes all of his students are his pups and Tenzo is affectionately called a sapling once he realizes that is a THING for Senju’s to say to their young
Tenzo secretly loves it
But before he never said it out loud since, you know, trauma
Hatakes are territorial of their pack so if anyone messes with their pack when they can’t handle it you are going to wake up with your throat being ripped apart from Hatake teeth
Having a Hatake and Uchiha couple might be a pair made in shinobi heaven if I think in that sense
Fear them
Kakashi gives head pats like it is free candy
Everyone decided to have the Hatake clan symbol on them to place a barrier between them and other warring clans because no one likes to mess with Hatakes (only dumb people do, aka, the political greedy people)
Oh wait I found my plot!
Sakura is still considered a civilian during this time, with no family name or any of that sort since, back then, a civilian was too poor to have a last name, so she, alongside Sai, are now Hatake. 
Since Hatake’s have a pack mentality they do have the occasion of adopting outside their clan and giving their last name, however, there have been very few cases in which a clan outsider is adopted into the Hatake. Usually, this is issued to the clan head of that clan and things will get sorted out. But, because Sasuke, Naruto, and Tenzo are time travelers, no one knows of them nor are they official in the clan registry they don’t do that. 
 Bastard children if you will, and while it's possible for both Naruto and Tenzo that is going to be difficult to tell with Sasuke and Obito
So they decided not to use their last names in such situations unless officially asked if they were of [instert clan here] and just said they are by blood
After all, last names are a claim so they are careful to say they are a Uchiha, Uzumaki, or Senju
Do they claim them?
I mean no?????
Let's say no
They are blood-related but do not claim name, claim blood, not name. If named they are shipped to the clan’s compound and goodbye pack member. 
NOT ON KAKASHI’S WATCH
Ok so, timeline!
I’m gonna make it about maybe a year or more before the death of Inzuma
Just because I can and because tension is still there
But not THE tension if you know what I mean
I want Tobirama to feel like something is wrong with the Chakra signatures floating around but I want Hashirama to know first what the actual problem is with the forest warning him about a pack he should not cross
Why the forest?
Because they feel another person with the forest within them
Aka Tenzo
Case and point
They find Sasuke first by accident
It was a patrol of Senju who found him and immediately didn’t know what to do but they had to capture the thing because obviously it was a Uchiha
They corner him and they are about to catch him when the trees start to move
At first, they think it's their clan head who came to trap him 
But no
The branches are capturing THEM and leaving the Uchiha alone
So now they are confused
Confused they see a man with short chestnut hair come out from nowhere, take the Uchiha into his arms, and warns them that they shouldn't mess with a Hatake cub
And
Disappears
They promptly freak the fuck out
I'll add more later and edit more of my other two ideas cus I can. Nice to do a break on the dcxdp fandom not gonna lie.
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Astrology Lesson of the Week: The 8th House
Welcome back to the Astrology Lesson of the Week here on my blog. I have been going backwards through the houses, week by week, to explore each of them in-depth and help you understand them better.
This week, we are tackling the 8th House!
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The 8th House is kind of like the 12th in a few ways. One of those ways is the notorious reputation it has. It is seen as the “spooky” house where all things traumatic and dark and death-related roam. I should just say one thing about that. Any astrologer who tries to predict your death or talk about you dying in any way by analyzing your 8th House is unethical. Yes, those kinds of astrologers do exist but they tend to be very “doom and gloom” to begin with. You actually can often assess the circumstances of someone’s death through the sign and/or planets in the 8th. People can pass away when there is a major transit in their 8th. But, it is not up to anyone to declare that in a reading.
Don’t get freaked out about that because it may not be your death. It could be someone else’s passing, which is not necessarily easier. Yet, no one may actually die when you have a transit through the 8th. The “death” here can be metaphorical. So, you may experience a loss in resources or status or go through intense situations that result in a personal death and rebirth of sorts. This can be jarring to those who maybe have an empty 8th House. Empty houses still affect you, especially when transits are passing through them. A strong transit through your 8th can intensify circumstances in your life and cause you to endure trials or tribulations that leave you forever changed.
However, this is business as usual for most people with planets in their 8th House. With my Venus and Lilith here, I have gone through so many cycles of transformation. The crises or confrontations that serve as a catalyst for this transformation can seem terrifying, as scary as death itself. Death has a few different meanings, as I have said, and we all have some sort of subconscious understanding of that. So, anything that is uncomfortable on an emotional level can feel like it is going to “kill” us. And people use that kind of language a lot in a metaphorical way. But, death (the literal and metaphorical kind) is really just transformation. It is all a matter of how you perceive that kind of change and how much you are capable of letting go or surrendering to face it. Pluto, the natural ruler of this house, can decimate whatever is in its path but also make way for something new to thrive.
8th House people make for survivors and resilient powerhouses. Most individuals with this chart influence know this from experience, from life throwing them into the deep end and forcing them to sink or swim. Some of them may spend much of their lives unscathed until a particularly traumatic event or time period really shakes them up. This is not the most pleasant stuff, to put it lightly. For starters, a lot of 8th House individuals have major childhood trauma and pain. I am not saying all of them. But, it is very common. Various forms of abuse or the early loss of a loved one or living in tough conditions can instill a profound inner wound. Yet, those with an occupied 8th House have the chance to become supreme healers. This healing power is shaman-like, as shamans have to endure incredible pain as an initiation before they acquire their healing abilities. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that you deserved to have bad things happen to you. What I am saying is that you have the special ability to take those painful things and alchemize them into emotional gold: deep wisdom, insight, strength, empowerment, empathy for others, and the power to be an example of surviving the darkness.
However, there are some 8th House people who don’t answer this call. They may allow themselves to repeat the cycle that was passed down to them or ignore their emotional pain because it is too scary and overwhelming. This is when you see these people turn into the “monster” they once feared at an early age or just psychologically shut down altogether. The type of 8th House person unwilling to deeply investigate and work on themselves is going to live an empty and frustrating existence. They may not even be able to articulate what they feel so defeated by or what they are running from. But, it’s like when a child (or even adult) doesn’t want to clean their room so they keep throwing their dirty clothes in the closet. And the closet is eventually so stuffed with clothes that they don’t want to open it because it will just make a huge mess.
I always say that if you don’t deal with your issues, eventually, they will deal with you. And this is true of anyone, whether you just have a sign on your 8th House cusp or planets here. This is where we deal with our psychological issues. Well, some people do. Some people go to great lengths to avoid them. Going to therapy or doing some heavy-duty journaling is 8th House territory, as well as shadow work, in general. Whatever is in your 8th House is something that has been scarred and needs to have its pain tended to. No one goes through life totally unscathed. Even if you have a generally happy childhood, adulthood can still be full of horrors like toxic/abusive relationships or personal betrayals or grief over loved ones. As unpleasant as it is, this is the underbelly of life that we can’t ignore, even if you have the impulse to stay in denial or run away.
So, because of how intense and unnerving this house is, I have often seen people try to say that sex isn’t the domain of the 8th House and that it is truly the pleasure-filled 5th House that rules sex. Well, the truth is that they are both concerned with sex. And I feel like anyone who tries to deny the sexual element of the 8th must not have planets here. While the 5th House is simply the fun side of sex, the act is emotionally charged and complex in the 8th. This is where people “make love” instead of just screwing. It is about intimacy, not just physically getting off. No matter what their sexual lifestyle or relationship status is, 8th House individuals tend to prefer deep connection when they’re having sex. They may go through periods of casual sex but there is nothing like that true intimacy for them. Even while being more casual, they could easily get “hooked” on certain people if the connection is electric.
When there is a spiritual dimension to this, there can be an intense soul merge between the two people or even a transcendence to another plane of consciousness. Yeah, it’s that intense. There can also be deep sexual healing that takes place, either because they’re with the right person or because they are the right one for someone. Unfortunately, a lot of 8th House people have sexual trauma, too. There can be a scary and dark side to sex, as well. Being a survivor of sexual abuse or sexual assault is sadly common among those with 8th House planets. Also, it may have been a matter of being sexualized too early. 8th House people, when growing up, too often experience sexual harassment or objectification from adults or may have even been sexually involved with someone much older. Ultimately, it can all leave a scar that makes it tricky for the person to navigate and express their sexuality.
Even with an empty 8th House, this is something you could have dealt with. Sex is something that is abused or used against people, especially more vulnerable individuals, far too often in the world. In addition to that, there is also a great deal of sex-negativity in the world: judgment and shame and fear when it comes to something so natural. So, this area of the chart is also where we can learn sex-positivity and how to fully embrace our sexual side without fear or guilt. This can be the house of sexual repression or sexual liberation. People can be slut-shamed here or even feel compelled to hide any non-hetero desires. And it is also a place where we may have been taught to fear our sexual self because it was targeted or abused or activated too early. The journey of healing that shame is deeply personal and may take time. And healing never truly ends. But, in the 8th, you have the opportunity to gradually see your sexual nature as a form of power to be appreciated and embraced, not hidden away or denied.
Extended Portion of Astrology Lesson of the Week (8th House) (how this house represents our inner power and inner shadow, our relation to magic/the occult and connection to the afterlife)
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how feral are max & charles, give me your most feral opinion please and thank you
OKAY I have 20 minutes to answer asks before I force myself offline because i have to be up in....5 hours.
DISCUSSIONS OF D/s relationships, bdsm, kink, etc under the cut
Max and Charles are wildly feral about each other. I could go into like insane detail but I think it would just be like PARAGRAPHS on PARAGRAPHS
It does depend on the verse. The current verse i'm actively writing (ncitw) is a little more tame, per se, than the Vampire!Max verse.
See in Vampire!Max verse i'm literally writing an entire CNC fic that is Max chasing Charles through a forest, to capture him and take him absolutely APART, but also absolutely meanly, and he kinda has the (PRE-NEGOTIATED!!!!) free reign to do what he wants to Charles. It's great. I love it. Arguably it is the most feral I'll probably write Charles and Max.
As for NCITW verse
Free use (goes both ways, Charles or Max wants it, they can take it. This is including but not limited to semi-public settings such as drivers rooms, anywhere they can catch a quiet enough moment away from the press etc)
Mild voyeurism (but like the risk of other people hearing them/accidentally seeing them)
Edging/Orgasm play (but unless Charles is really bratty, denial's not really a thing either of them are into)
Mild feminization (Max to Charles, and it depends on the mood tbh)
Praise kinks (both of them, but Max has a thing for praising Charles and making him acknowledge all the nice things Max says about him and seeing where it goes from there)
Degradation (Max to Charles, but it can't be anything actually mean, just telling him how needy etc he is)
Cockwarming.....(Charles' favourite way to unwind)
And then like idk I guess the general par for the course stuff which isn't totally feral, but bondage, impact play, Charles likes Max to have to fight for control a little, sometimes.
Spit kink, come marking kink, just general marking and possessiveness
Wrong him and you die (okay not DIE but you get it)
There's like a SMIDGEN of a breeding kink somewhere in there
INCREDIBLY light pet play (less of pretending to be an animal, instead more about the intimacy of being kept and safe and cozy, and not having to think about the big, stressful, important things in life...big thing for Charles)
A LIIIIIIITTLE bit of lifestyle control but like...subtle.
ANYHOW HERE HAVE A LIST OF THE FERAL BITS OF MAX AND CHARLES
they're also insufferable to like...anyone on the grid who knows they're together.
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rabbits-sin-den · 2 days
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Gojo x Reader
Summary: Gojo disappears after you say I love you. So you punish him.
Minors: DNI
"Today's the day." I said to myself in the mirror.
It was our two-year anniversary. I'd been anticipating this one because today was going to be the day I said I love you. Neither of us have said it before which meant I would be the one diving into uncharted waters first. I was nervous on principal but based on the fact he's said everything but (mentioned a future together, asked about rings, got terminally jealous anytime someone else looked at me) I felt pretty confident he felt the same way.
I went to dinner and everything went swimmingly. We reminisced. We joked, laughed, and paid for our dinner. When he tried to invite himself into my apartment. I stopped him.
"I have work tomorrow and you don't know the meaning of moderation."
"Just quit already.” he whined.
"It's one more week. I might as well finish it out."
He whined some more and I teased him a bit before I finally took the plunge.
"I love you." I said. "I um....I wanted to make sure I said that."
Silence.
The longer it went on, the more nervous I felt. When I looked up, Satoru was looking away. When I was about to ask what was wrong he took a step back and disappeared. I blinked, dumbfounded. My heart pounded in my chest. As the shock wore off it seeped into anger and sadness. I went inside my house and closed the door, sinking to the ground.
He doesn't love me back.
The next few days were a blur. I was heartbroken. I even looked up new apartments to move into. I couldn't exactly keep him out of my house but I could move. Was it dramatic? Yes. Was I going to give myself the opportunity to just forget what happened and let myself be strung along? No. For the past two days the endless cuddles, kisses and passionate nights plagued me. I was almost happy I could work this week. At the end of Wednesday, my boss walked up to me with an oddly apprehensive expression on his face.
"You don't have to finish out the week." He said.
"Huh?"
"You don't have to finish out the week. Letting you off the hook early since you have two days of PTO accrued."
"Did I...mess up?"
"No. But you look like you need a break." He said.
I mean I guess the "eyes swollen from crying every night" look wasn't awesome to look at every day but he also didn’t care about things like that. So what’s happening?
He cleared his throat, looked meaningfully at my desk before walking away. There wasn’t any arguing it. I didn't want to sit at home and think but I didn't have the energy to go out either. I packed up my stuff and took the train home. When I entered the apartment. There Satoru was, looking relieved to see me. I glared at him.
"Get out."
He blinked in surprise.
"What happened?" He asked.
What happened?? Fuck you dude.
"I'm not interested in this game you're playing." I said while putting down my bag and taking off my jacket.
"What game?"
"The game where you pretend you didn't brush me off when I said I loved you." I seethed. "The game where I pretend that you didn't fucking hurt me."
My voice cracked at the end and I could feel the tears coming.
"I love you too." He said.
Bullshit.
"Too late."
"I...."
I peeked at him and he looked sheepish which wasn't like him. Guess he knew how badly he fucked up.
"I left like that because if I didn't I wasn't going to be able to let you go to work." He said.
I ignored him and looked into the fridge for some leftover comfort food.
"You got off work early for the week right?"
I paused.
"How did you know that?"
"I threatened and bribed your boss."
"...What."
Satoru walked over toward me.
"When you said I love you I...." He walked toward me and trapped me against the counter. "Even now, just thinking about it, I want to..." He got closer and I felt something hard pressing against me. "I want to ruin you for anyone else."
I finally braved a look at his eyes and even though I was pissed there was no mistaking that look. His eyes were dark with hunger and barely restrained possessiveness. There were a couple of nights when I got to see a glimpse of this look. Usually, after someone was a little too flirty with me or a random day where he snapped after not getting enough affection.
"You really hurt me." I said.
"I'm sorry." He said, leaning down and kissing me.
I could tell where this was going so I broke it off.
"How sorry are you?"
"Incredibly."
"Then make it up to me.” I said. “And I decide how you’ll do it.”
If I leave it up to him I’ll wake up with a brand new car and an apartment full of flowers. 
I sent him away while thinking of what could possibly make me forgive him for the past few days of hell he put me through. At first, nothing came to mind because nothing was enough. He seriously broke my heart. But it was also his first serious offense besides the cat thing. The apartment was filled with memories and evidence of his affection. The custom couch for he exclusively bought to cuddle more comfortably. The stolen kisses in the kitchen. The random gifts he’s given over the years.
But I don’t want to get played.
After a lot of deliberation I decided I can forgive this. Not before a little revenge though. I wanted him to suffer but not in a way that hurt him. An idea popped in my head and I smiled and pulled up the computer.
Friday morning when I was in the bath, he knocked on the door. When gave him permission he opened it. Satoru stood there in a maid outfit awaiting my orders. He looked confused but didn't dare complain. I stared at him for a bit before smiling at him. I sat up and turned my back to him.
"Wash my back and massage my shoulders while you're at it."
He walked forward and I held a hand up.
"What do servants say to their masters after an order."
"...Yes Ma'am."
"Good."
He came over and did as he was ordered. He was surprisingly good at what he does. I let myself make satisfied noises, enjoying the way he tensed up after each one.
"Thank you. That's enough. Start cleaning the kitchen and living room."
"Yes, Ma'am."
He left the bathroom and I contemplated what outfit would make this hardest on him. Probably me standing out there naked but I didn't have the guts for that. Plus it would be cold. I got out of the bath, draining it. After several minutes of deliberation, I decided staying in a towel might be best. He glanced at me, stiffened then resumed cleaning while avoiding me. I sat on the living room couch and turned on the TV.
"When you're done, come over here and kneel on the floor."
I didn't leave much for him to clean so within the hour he was in front of me kneeling. I got up and inspected the kitchen. He even got inside the fridge. Honestly, I wasn't entirely sure Satoru knew how to clean given his upbringing. I returned to the couch, sat down, and examined him. His skirt was slightly lifted from his half-hard erection.
"You did a good job in the kitchen. So you do have a little common sense."
I pressed my foot onto his cock and he jolted. His body trembled as I slowly put pressure up and down his shaft.
"So what were you thinking on our anniversary?"
"I wasn't." He replied.
"Exactly. You were thinking with this..." I pressed harder and he grunted. "Instead of thinking how that would affect who you're with."
"I'm sorry." He said breathlessly.
His hips started moving and I removed my foot.
"You're not off the hook yet." I said then I held out a vibrator that can be strapped to his dick. "Put this on."
I handed it to him and he glanced at me. He lifted the skirt up, putting it in his mouth, and revealed his unfairly pretty cock. I kept my face impassive as he slid the little ring over his shaft. He looked at me and I clicked the remote. His eyes widened and in his shock, he dropped the skirt, his body tensing up.
"You're going to do my laundry," I said. " And that's staying on till you finish. If you cum that's it." I said.
He nodded and got up. I clicked my teeth and he looked at me, eyes swimming with desire.
"What do you say?"
I could see a wild look building in his eyes.
"Yes master."
I waved him off ignoring how the change in title made me feel. I supervised him while he washed the clothes. It was the most out of control I'd ever seen him. In the middle of movements, I'd increase the intensity, causing his body to jerk. I'd lower it to the lowest volume then rapidly increase it while he was watching the washer. His breathing got heavier as time went on and while the thick tented fabric covered it, I knew he was slick with precum. His hands gripped onto whatever it could like a lifeline. After two hours he was done.
He looked at me, eyes silently begging me for some kind of release.
I picked up one of my underwear from the clean pile and walked over to him. I lifted up his skirt and sure enough, his heavy cock dripped with need. I used the underwear the clean up the mess and then threw it in the washer.
"You've got one more load to do." I said before sitting back where I was.
When the machine got going he walked over to me. I glanced up at him and he bowed his head. I flinched when he dropped to his knees and held my hand.
"I'm sorry for hurting you..." He said softly. "And I want to make it up to you."
He spread my legs slightly.
"May I?"
I was at my limit anyway.
"Sure. At my pace."
I laid down and the second his tongue pressed to my center I gasped. He immediately got to work, running his tongue over my clit and working his fingers in and out. Loud moans rained out of my mouth and I couldn't catch my breath from the onslaught. When I caught a glimpse of his face, the calculated sharpness in his eyes, I realized...I got played.
He got up, towering over me while shoving the vibrating ring further down his cock. He pressed the vibrating piece against my clit causing both of us to curse. His breath was shaky as he rubbed his dick up and down my slit.
"I wanna serve my master." He said with a shaky voice. "Please let me serve you."
You just wanna get off you bastard.
But fuck I wanted to get off too.
I nodded and he immediately inserted himself inside in one swoop. I turned my head to the side as I tried to adjust to the sudden fullness. He moved and I cried out as his cock brushed a spot that made my head spin. He increased the pace, wanton moans filling the air as he got some relief. Every thrust was a shot of pleasure. Loud slaps mixed with our moans as the pleasure started to build. Satoru leaned in, hitting a deeper angle. My back arched as I whined, clenching around him. His tip slammed into that wonderful spot over and over and over.
"Ah-!" I gasped as he slammed down a little harder.
I closed my eyes for a bit and Satoru picked up my hips making me match his pace. My whole body tingled. I was over the moon. I glanced between us and all I could see was a filthy mess. I was in love.
"No one else..." He said with a shaky breath. "I'll make sure of it..."
"Sa-..I-I'm-!"
"Come on my cock, master." He commanded in a guttural tone.
The tension snapped and I threw my head back as I came. My body twitched as he kept fucking me through my orgasm. He never let up, not for a second. His hips stuttered as he came inside me, thrusting deep inside with a victorious look. When he calmed down, he poorly feigned innocence.
"Oh no. I came without your permission." He said, using my finger to press down on the remote.
He was still inside me so both of us jumped from the vibrations. His body shivered as a blissed out look went over his face. He looked down, a sinister smile was on full display as he slowly started thrusting again.
"Looks like you'll have to punish me."
I shuddered and twitched every time the vibrator at the end of his cock brushed my clit. Even though it was too much, I couldn’t bring myself to push him off. Through the intense sensitivity the pleasure started to build again.
“You should’ve been turned into a snake.” I stuttered out.
He caressed my cheek.
“I love you too. I meant that.” He said softly.
”I’m not saying it back until I forgive you.” I pouted.
”I’m willing to put in the work.” He smiled.
The laundry machine beeped, making both of us jump. “Start by hanging up the underwear.” I said finally.
He kissed me on the cheek, looking at me fondly before getting up.
“Yes ma’am.”
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wayfayrr · 11 months
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The final raffle prize for my 200 followers event! This is for @peepthatbish with a reader learning and reading sign, I went though a few different Ideas before settling on this one to get the idea out, but wars sewing trouble and a soft wild won me over. What wild says through sign is the soft blue colour and the red is a mistranslation of what he's really saying. I hope you like it!! <3
[masterlist]
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I wish there were an easier way to talk to Wild rather than having to get Wars or Twilight to translate his signs for me, especially since he’s been wanting to spend more time alone with me recently. As much as I try there’s only so far that reading body language can get you and it’s not like I can read Hylian either which leaves me stuck. Maybe I should just ask one of them if they’d be willing to teach me, I doubt they’d say no.
“[Name]? You seem distracted, are you alright? I know you’re not used to travelling like the rest of us but if you’d like to talk about anything then. I’m more than willing to listen to you, if it’s got you up this early then it’s surely an issue.”
“Oh? Uh, thanks for your concern captain but I was just thinking about Wild actually. I’ll keep your offer in mind though, so thank you..”
“‘About wild’? What about him are you thinking of?”
Huh, I could’ve sworn there was a hint of jealousy in his voice, but why would he be jealous of the idea of me spending… more time alone with Wild? Well, I think I might've answered my own question there. Really though, what reason would he have to be jealous of that, it’s not like Wars is close enough with me to be so possessive of me? 
“Just about how he’s been wanting to spend more alone time with me and how I’d like to learn some Hylian signs so that I can be alone and hold a conversation with him. Not that I don’t appreciate you and Twilight translating of course.”
“It’s never a bother to translate for you though, you could wake me up at whatever time and I wouldn’t even bat an eye.”
He pauses for a moment after that, the look on his face the same as when he’s planning his next movements watching a monster camp. There’s never been another moment other than that where he’s been this focused. Is the idea of spending more time with me really that important to him? 
“If you really want me to I can give you some lessons though, it’ll take a while for you to learn but whenever we have any downtime we can sit off somewhere quiet away from the others and I’ll give you some tutoring.”
He’d really switch from being jealous of me spending more time with wild and not wanting to do this to wanting to teach me himself? I know he’s getting some extra time alone with me while I learn, but does that really make up me possibly spending less time with him when I’ve learned enough to be alone with wild? Seeing as he’s willing it’s better I don’t press him on it so he won’t change his mind even if he does I could always ask twilight. With how he’s looking at me that might not be the smartest thing to do.
“What would you like to start with then [name]?”
“You know what kind of things Wild says to me the most often, maybe we could start with those things?”
“That does sound like the best place to start, I think we have an hour or two until the others will wake up, so why not start now”
And we certainly did, the time seemed to pass quicker than usual with him, it was nice to be doing something seeing as there wasn’t really a chance of me being able to go back to sleep. Something feels off about the signs he’s teaching me though, they aren’t what wild usually uses when he’s saying similar things. Maybe it’s just a different way to say things like how you can say yes in hundreds of different ways. He was still teaching me when the others started to stir, with wild waking up to start preparing breakfast for us all. No time like the present to test out the new language. 
“Mornin’ Wild! Wars spent some of the morning teaching me some hyrulian sign, so we should be able to talk alone more often now!”
Hey [name]! That’s amazing to hear, I can’t wait to talk to you more!! What do you want [name]. Can’t you see I’m too busy to talk? Just leave me alone.
“There’s no reason to be like that, I was just telling you. I’m sorry that I bothered you.”
Bother me? No, I want to talk to you, don’t go. Please? Thank you. Stay out of my sight for a bit, please. You’re distracting.
“I - I’m going. You don’t need to tell me twice.”
It’s like wild can’t make up his mind between his signs and his actions, he’s telling me to leave him alone but the second I turn away he grabs my wrist? It’s not like he really wants me here unless - Wars could have taught me wrong on purpose. With how possessive he was it’s not impossible, but why do that rather than just not teach me? He knew you’d just go to Twillight if he didn’t, you left him out of options. Wild’s grip isn’t to be messed with though, it’ll bruise if it gets any tighter - if it isn’t already. The noise we’re making seems to have woken the others up, as Twi shocks the both of us by grabbing our shoulders. 
“Aight - what’s got you’s so riled up.”
[name] said wars told them sign and I don’t think he taught them right.
“Wars taught me some hylian sign, so I wanted to talk to wild and he was just … mean.”
“Ah. I think wars taught you very wrong darlin’, Wild could never be rude to you, he’s fallen too far for that.”
With a wink and a nudge from twi at that, well he’s certainly proved my earlier thoughts, as well as throwing a frew new ones into the mix. No wonder wars would be jealous of him trying to get closer to me. But.. Wild likes me? That - well it adds up but I really wish this wasn’t how I learned. His kicked puppy look is heart-wrenching; I don’t blame him of course if my crush was deliberately taught to misunderstand me and then told about my crush on them? I’d be just as upset. Where should I go from here though? There’s a couple of different options, with one making a lot more sense to me. 
“Would you be able to teach me properly then rancher? I really would like to get closer to Wild; this seems like the best way to do that.”
“If the champ wants me too, then I don’t see an issue cub.”
Only if I’m there to make sure they’re being taught right. 
“Course wild.”
That should clear up everything then and I’ll be able to do what I actually wanted too rather than the exact opposite, Wild sitting next to me a blushy mess only makes it better. Twi’s lessons feel a lot better from the ones Wars gave me from the get go, he’s more careful with explaining the meanings as well as more patient with me; Wild adding in occasionally with things he thinks are important to know. I know I’m not gonna pick up all that much today but it’s amazing to finally be able to really talk to wild, now I’ve got some of the basics like how to spell Wild’s planning to take over most of my lessons for me anyway. There’s one sign that Twi taught me that really stood out to me though, crossing both hands flat and pressed to his heart. Love. The very same sign that he’s been using in place of my name for a few weeks now. He’s been practically confessing right to my face and I never even knew. Even with all of that I can’t help but want to tease him a little, now that the issues earlier are all cleared.
“So then lover-boy, were you hoping that your mentor was going to translate your confession for you, or were you hoping that this would all happen sooner?”
Hoping that you wouldn’t catch on for a long while yet. 
“Awh, is the idea of me knowing and reciprocating all that bad to you?”
Reciprocating?
I didn’t mean to say that outloud. My face feels like it’s hot enough to cook with now, why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut! Wild seems to be glowing at that though, he’s not making a move to talk or anything, just staring at me with the sweetest love struck expression. I would love for him to look at me like that often, it’s so pure and loving that I can’t help but want more of it. 
Would you be against us being more serious then… if you really do love me too. I think I'd like to try. 
“...”
“I think I would like that, I’d like that a lot actually. To be able to call you mine? It sounds nice.”
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ovyy-pvcure · 4 months
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Ok well nobody asked but I'm bored so wild transmigration Naruro au borne of madness go.
So first things first Kishimoto made one gigantic mistake and that was making and naming a bit character that's easy to do the whole 'dead modern human pops into the body of a canon character' thing.
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^ That's Tobio who shows up exactly once in the entire series at the start to accidentally knock Naruto off balance and kick off literal decades of shipping. This convinent oc stand in blank canvas is the turning point of the au that means when he accidentally dies as a result of that one off-canon event the universe* steps in and sticks a random schmuck in place to keep things basically on plan. There's, like, prophesies to fullfill (and cosmic schemes going on). Which is why and how a late age teenager finds themselves stuck in a 12 year old's body ("it matches your emotional age") after an unfortuante accident with nothing but the basi s of chakra and history downloaded to their brain and no psrsonal memories of the new body to call on. Oh, and a cheery "good luck" before getting dropped into basicially the start of the plot just before team allocation. Where, as the top student in the "espionage and subterfuge" class he's assigned as the final member of team 7.
To give the basic skeleton of what's taken shape in my head already the first arc would follow tobio as he tries to wrangle the cats known to the public as Sasuke and Naruto without actually letting anyone know he has literally no memory of anything that's happened to him before a couple months ago. Oh and surviving the grueling change of lifestyle inherent in becoming a Child Soldier. He's doing Great this arc. Not stressed At All as he tries to juggle managing his teammates' egos with getting stronger because he has none allies or parents or connections to fall back on if he stumbles.
Well he thinks so anyway he's Kakshi's favorite adorable little student because he's the one who keeps pulling NaruSasu apart and making them actually, you know, cooperate. Naruto likes him because tobio treats him like a person and Sasuke at least appreciates that he doesn't have a fangirl in his squad and he's even focused on getting better so no deadweight. Also Mizuki's hovering around asking how he's progressing and if he feels ready which is odd since wasn't Mizuki beaten to an inch of life for all that treason he was up to? Well, not tobio's problem.
If you're curious how tobio died so is he! He can't remember; he was just told in the void of space time that he had an accident, died and now he's getting shipped off to 12 year old boot camp. What he does know is his own sarcastic rebellious wit has nothing on the universe's* considering it called him a quote "sarcastic bitch" as it did the whole transmigiration thing.
Blah blah blah team building, lunch at ichiraku's using future knowledge to climb trees early the usual oc stuff up until Wave. Things even go kind of normal up until the city is reached where kakshi's chakra lesson gets more than a little derailed by tobio already knowing how to do the whole shebang. Instead of being sent off to guard the bridge he suggests Naruto do so with clones since he's been thinking of a way to make use of his specialized training and making this mission truly worth Konoha's time.
A reoccurring element of the first arc is that the people around him not really knowing the OG Tobio that well is a boon his training in espionage is also guiding tobio to keeping his own secrets under wraps. tobio wants to infiltrate Gato's orginization and siphon money directly into The Leaf's coffers as recompense for making it impossible for the village to get properly paid from the outset. Besides Zabuza's gonna kill Gato so it's fine. Kakshi is against it but can't deny the logic and concedes but insists tobio's top priority is his contiuned survival.
Due to all the miscellaneous ne'er do wells romping about it's easy for a trained Ninja to slip in and start liberating ryo for Konoha (and maybe some for Wave while he's at it). Things contiune apace until The Bridge Showdown where in the confusion tobio once again slips into the waiting horde of Goons. Right next to Gato. Kyubi chakra comes with a weird feeling alongside the terrifying bloodlust from Naruto himself and tobio seizes the opportunity to take out Gato himself before the order to fire on Zabuza can be given.
In the temporary silence we have a dying Haku, a dead Gato and a disguised tobio skipping out of the goon squad cheerfully announcing Gato's plan to shoot everyone left on the bridge dead before his interference and daring anyone to contradict him. They can't mostly because the small child with blood dripping off their knives has scared them silent, and instead of fighting they flee with a furious Zabuza in pursuit. Haku doesn't survive but Z does to contiune his bloodly plans for revolution but now without his restraining bolt. This will cause problems for our heroes later. But for now Wave is a success and only one of the children has killed anyone in cold blood. Only Kakashi is worried about this. Oh and all the builders who are now wary around the killer kid who mocked and psychologically attacked his victims first. Victory all around!
Kakashi can not get the privacy needed to properly talk to his genin about the thing he did until they're back in Konoha where he overhears Mizuki grilling his student for details on the mission and dropping info he really shouldn't be re: the kyubi, and implying Tobio was meant to somehow harm Naruto. Which is the conversation that tips tobio off to the divigerence which is that oops Tobio was doing himself a Treason. Thankfully tobio is a fully trained fluent liar who reports to Mizuki that he never had a chance to harm Naruto and that, no, there was no hint of the Kyubi both of which are lies the eavesdropping Kakashi catches but isn't sure what to make of. tobio himself is basicially flying by the seat of his pants as he describes Sasuke's growth and personality even as he internally starts to panic as he realizes just how epically Screwed he is since he also doesn't know Kakashi is there, and now Mizuki and Tobio's treason is his problem. Crap.
A sweep of his apartment has tobio finding a journal of his days in the academy where one day Tobio reports Mizuki pulling him aside and pointing out he'll be lucky go get a proper jonin teacher and get out of the genin corps if he continues on the normal path but Mizuki has a solution since he feels so bad for another orphan of the Kyubei attack. His new plan is to join the E&S course the so called "kunoichi class" and with Mizuki's help-all helpfully noted down by Tobio and utterly obviously manipulative to tobio-he can ace that and get put on a star team with a good future. With Sasuke he means so someone can keep an eye on the Uchiha for Orochimaru. The journal also veers off into a hateful anti-Konoha rant at the revealation of Tobio's parents killer's continued existence and favortism from the Third via Naruto. However misguided a start by the time of graduation testing Tobio had been perfectly groomed into Mizuki's personal spy who had a sneering relief that he could leave Konoha and a dead Naruto behind after they secured the scroll for their actual master.
Well, to be forewarned is to be forearmed as they say, and no one else in the village has as much foreknowledge as tobio who thinks it's high time he got serious and picked put a proper name for himself: Otogiri Tobio sounds perfect.
Otogiri doesn't know Kakashi knows even half of this but luckily neither does anyone else yet. While the poor scarecrow man tries to figure out just what is happening without directly confronting a possible traitor in his own squad even as political pressure mounts to prove one of Konoha's founding clans has a strong future by putting Sasuke (and his squad they guess. Whatever.) into the chuunin exam. With an effective A rank under their belt and Otogiri's proliferation of funds Kakashi would need a pretty sound reason not to bend to the council's "suggestion" and he doesn't want to leave the boys alone with a possible traitor but he also doesn't want T&E descending on his student for maybe nothing. So in they go causing the domino effect that ends with the K9 (sans sakura plus Otogiri) all enrolled in the annual deathmatch.
Ignorant of all this back door politicking going on Otogiri's already gearing up for the Invasion. Chuunin exams? Sure he's signed up the squad's in. Whatever. He's got bigger problems including Mizuki dropping in and telling him to meet up and assist the incoming Sound kids. No one notices the dog watching this play out not that Mizuki's sloppy enough to say anything outright but Otogiri catches the subtext, but also sees a chance to start turning the tables on that creep. After all Orochimaru already wants Sasuke, and Naruto's becoming pretty strong himself maybe they should pull everyone in?
So on the prophesied day squad 7 is coincidentally in place to welcome and show around the teens from the newly founded village of Sound. Otogiri is a little concered but the thing about Naruto is that yes he's loud and arrogant and annoying and has to be physically wrestled into bathing regularly but he's charismatic enough for all that to be liked anyway. And Zaku? Is loud and arrogant and definitely had to be wrestled into a bath at least 5 times so he likes the kid, and their friendly little mole's hinting that he's not been treated great by the Leaf so why not get along and lead the kid astray? Could be fun.
Kin has a headache. She's met louder blonde Zaku and she wants to Die about it. She and Sasuke bond over it as they have to quiet the duo down.
Dosu is amused by Kin's discomfort and Zaku's weirdly instant attachment, but as long as they serve their duty he's fine with it. They're the best the Sound has to offer that could pass as genin. The mole worries him a little, he's a little too quick witted and sharp to feel like he's really their ally and he never says anything to give him a hint of where he lies beyond the veiled code phrase he introduced himself with to mark him as the Tobio they were supposed to meet. The blonde's infectious energy and loudness doesn't leave him exposing weaknesses in the village, and The Uchia clearly looks down on their little village. Well he'd change his mind about that once the rest of his squad turned on him or Dosu would have the personal pleasure of wiping the smug off his face.
Otogiri is not having a great time he has a little over a month to get Dosu to trust him so he can derail Orochimaru's chess style pawn sacrifice strategy for his own shogi inspired pawn theft strategy. Some people might claim using alternate universe future knowledge is cheating. Otogiri would claim that he's trying to outwit someone who even with his ages combined has 20 years minimum on him so really he needs every advantage he can get. Especially because Dosu is so damn distrusting that getting an in to try and make the older boy waver on his desire to gain glory is harder than making Sasunaru work together back in the first arc.
Blah blah blah chuunin exam stuff test speech forest of death. Where Otogiri realizes there was a fight with Rock Lee but no declaration of lust from him without Sakura. And he has no connection to Ino beyond her sort of hating him for stealing what she thinks should be her place. No it doesn't matter Sakura outranked her, Otogiri's on the wrong end of Ino's many grudges and eventually despite his best efforts he winds up with an unconscious chakra dampened Naruto and a freshly Cursed Sasuke. No allies forthcoming and probably 3 teens expecting an easy kill on their way. To be killed to make Sauske stronger.
Otogiri must once again consider that actually The Universe* is just screwing with him. With a bit of deception, luck, and just plain knowing more than he should Otogiri convinces the trio when they show up they're not really meant to try and kill Sasuke it's all a test of how wisely they can act on a mission. He bluffs that Mizuki told him what The Master could do and how he marked Sasuke betting on Dosu at least managing to link Curse Seals and their Effects on the mark on Sasuke.
Sound trio on side Naruto and then Sasuke wake up groggy and foggy as hell but hey safe! With their new cool allies! Naruto's devious nature surfaces and he makes a plan to net both teams all the scrolls they'll need with his prankster past . While he has the time Otogiri pulls Zaku aside and warns him to watch his tubing around the Aburame since their bugs follow and eat chakra which is a huge vulnerability for specifically him. Sorry Shino it just ain't your time-line.
Successful plan put into motion everyone moves onto The Tournament where things play out basicially as they do with the exception of Shino getting outplayed by Otogiri's timely warning. Naruto does a little better and wins less with a stroke of luck and more by being just enough better at chakra control the seal doesn't completely stop him. And of course Ino tries to vent when she gets paired up with her new Fated Rival (that random boy who was better in class than her and hasn't given her a second thought all story) but Otogiri is tired stressed and over it so he forces a grapple pins her hand with a kunai and presses his advantage until he knocks her out because Ino is Not A Quitter. By any sane metric Ino does fine but Otogiri's got his sights aimed way higher and has been training accordingly. Sorry, Ino just ain't your timeline either.
Seconds into the fight he gets even more stressed out as he realizes all at once the various things even a brief jaunt into his soul/mind would reveal. Making him fight way more aggressivly and mercilessly which the other K9 minus s7 don't like. Zaku and Kin do but boo on them.
Easy part over Otogiri has to rededicate himself to several things all at once: untangling the invasion's plans without drawing too much attention to himself. Keeping the sound trio alive and out of Orochimaru's hands to keep him from going full Necromancer on the Third. Keeping Naruto and Sasuke safe from the wretched hands moving on them. Again not drawing aggro himself from Danzo and ROOT. Or Jiraya. Noted spymaster. Old teammate of his new archnemesis. Naruto's newest teacher. Whooo.
Meanwhile in the mountains Kakashi is training Sasuke because he got paired up against a serial killer jinjuriki. Which is one more gray hair on his head along with all the other stuff including Otogiri seeking him out in private and explaining the attack, the seals and who he suspects was the attacker. Which. Kakashi is smart, he now probably knows who Mizuki sold Konoha out to and how and why Otogiri would know who he is but he still has no idea what angle the kid is working. Or if approaching him about it is smart. Kids are hard and Kakashi has been avoiding this for years. Obito please come back and help him you were always basicially a kid you'd know what was going on.
Otogiri has come to the conclusion it's officially time to call Gondor for aid and seeing as there's maybe 3 people who could be discrete enough to trail the trio and play off if they got caught. One was on a mountain one is him and one is...capable of self replication. Welp time to put a hand over Naruto's gross mouth and explain the bullet points.
A pinned Naruto with two hands over his mouth later gives more context to the Mizuki mysteries; he confirms it was Mizuki who told him of the special pass requirement and that he never showed that night. Iruka found him and he remembers an odd smell but has no memory beyond a very verbal lashing. Neither boy knows how Mizuki got away with it, but Otogiri spells out the "truth" to Naruto about Mizuki's plans to steal the scroll and leave Naruto to rot for it. In return for the tiny lie Otogiri tells Naruto he knows about the Kyubei and has decided that Naruto's too kind and simple to be a demon fox so he's cool with him.
Before even a single sappy sentiment can be shared Otogiri launches into his suspicions about how valuable Orochimaru finds their new "friends'" lives and Naruto is all about protecting them (believe it!). Together with a little "totally unknowing" help from a certain Toad Sage they figure out Kabuto's ninja info cards have summoning seals on them and before Dosu can go and get himself killed the new duo gush about how excited they are to see Zaku and Dosu kick butt in the stadium which is enough to mollify Dosu's increasing need to go out and prove himself. Barely.
Zaku's feeling right offended they were given "information cards" as if they needed the help to kick a bunch of kids' asses in a straight fight. Otogiri could kiss that lanky moron because he just handed him the answer and he makes a big show of agreeing and saying they should prove it by getting rid of those useless cards and giving them to him and Naruto who could use the help. Dosu's suspicion gauge raises another tick but the trio do and those cards find themselves in Jiraya's hands lightning quick.
Surprise surprise the cards have summoning sutras on them to send the holders to a preset location. Jiraya with the subtly of a trained deceiver who's lead a spy ring for decades pries a lot of information from Otogiri very skillfully and concludes what Otogiri already knew regarding the intentions of summoning cards the holders didn't know about. So, the sound trio receive a friendly visit from a friendly toad man who gleefully shows them the trap on the cards and notes whoever gave them these might not be as trustworthy as they thought. The trio say nothing, cutting contact with OtoNaru.
Come the tournament a lot of the usual beats play out; late Sauske, Naruto's still heated about Nehi being the ultimate Heel wrestler, Shikamaru proves he can make wise tactical decisions and before the oragnizers have to awkwardly side step there's one too many contestants Sauske dramatic entrances in and the fight begins. A fight Naruto Otogiri and Shikamaru miss because Dosu and company have given it some thought and are going to just full Bail but they know what's about to start and at least want the duo (and shikamaru they guess) to be awake and away when the fighting starts.
Naruto Talks at them and tries to fire them up agaisnt ol copperhead as everything Pops Off including a pall of mist that descends over the arena. Zabuza's found a fellow revolutionary it seems. Sasuke takes off after Gaara with Naruto hot on his heels with a shove from Otogiri seeing as their the "same".
Otogiri rounds on the trio and decides to use his own version of Talk pointing out that they owe one person one thing and that's revenge on Orochimaru. He tried to sacrifice them multiple times hasn't been in contact with them, and was gonna do who knows what with their bodies without consent. They can flee in the middle if they want but don't they want to pop him in the metaphorical face first? Zaku does. Kin does. Dosu doesn't anymore but his almost-friends (all 4 of them) aren't budging so he figures he might as well prove how non disposable they are by messing up snakey's plans.
Shikamaru is thoroughly disgruntled because Naruto dragged him along to the Gaara mess which is going basicially like canon. Shino's even here his bugs having devoured the genjutsu and wanting to back up his non insane classmate. An exhausted Shikamaru can barely hold back a desperate Temari until the timely ringing of bells saves him. Kin's strings may not have much shadow but they are a direct path to a disoriented Temari who has to watch her little brother actually struggle and bleed before she gets introduced to a tree the same way Kin was to a wall. Naruto summons a giant frog.
Meanwhile Kakashi is meeting back up with Zabuza, his ninken already have the swordsmaster's scent and this time they do need to settle the score. Zabuza's both mad at Kakashi for reasons he knows aren't sound and persuing his goal since Orochimaru will eventually tear down Wave and he says will leave it to Zabuza while he goes after the rest. He has to make Haku's sacrifice count so Leaf has to die on the vine just in case this time the promise is real. No points for guessing who wins in this confusing melee. Final tally: 3-0 kakashi:zabuza it was close though.
Meanwhile again Mizuki's poised to take some sweet justice against Iruka for, frankly, being a better instructor ninja and person than him wheb Otogiri shows up playing it like he wants the honor. No dice, Mizuki's wanted this for awhile and the kid's nowhere close enough to be subtle and he just has to drop the genjutsu on Mizuki to make him miss and engage his manipulator in a direct confrontation to end this whole twisted mess. Good thing Mizuki doesn't have that filler arc power up because Otogiri's fighting an uphill battle on this one.
But first Hayate Gekko's girlfriend the ANBU member Cat is engaging his canonical killer Baki the sand jonin her swordsmanship sharp enough to leave Baki's attempts to entangle her blade useless. And him open to said jonin's surprise strike taking out the sandman. Oh how the turntables. Is what someone who knows the alternate timeline would say since that confrontation didn't happen in this one since Dosu wasn't trailed and Hayate killed for Knowing Too Much.
Speaking of Dosu he and Zaku have run into Kabuto who's cover is very blown because Konoha's Spymaster got a peek at his Trap Cards and no one is happy with anyone here. Dosu and Zaku aren't exactly jonin level even combined but in a chaotic melee large windbursts and balance altering soundwaves make up for a lot when your speciality is up close precision scapel attacks. Kabuto would win ordinarily but he's a wanted man and there's an angry snake lady willing to take out her misplaced sense of displacement on a willing medical collabteour. Kabuto gets away in the end but Anko takes one look at the trio once everyone's round up in the end and asks "is anyone gonna claim these kids?" And not wait for an answer.
Back to Otogiri who lacks the element of surprise of numbers to overwhelm Mizuki and is going pretty even but for all the cheap kill shots he has to prevent from taking out a defenseless wounded Iruka who himself got taken down protecting the academy kids not named nepotism. Mizuki isn't his usual sneering jackass self here because he's pissed that the kid he'd been grooming slipped out of his control and had taken to playing him for a fool. Otogiri bullshits back that after seeing how Orochimaru treated his soldiers he made the choice to back out before he was sacrificed for a madman's goals stubbronly ignorning the Danzo in the room for now.
Injured, humiliated and generally unpleasant Mizuki lunges for Otogiri and gets his hands around the boy's throat. Any plan of escape is cut off by a torrent of rage and red as Otogiri loses it after all of Mizuki's crap and he simply rips the man's hands off him and before the former instructor can process the impossible thing he just witnessed he's driven into the side of the academy and has a kunai driven through his neck. Good thing Iruka passed out from his wounds and no impressionable children saw that. Oh hi Konohamaru don't wanna come out of hiding in that closet and say hi to Naruto nii chan's friend? No? Suit yourself he's gotta hurry Iruka to a healer anyway no time to stop and ask questions like "how" or "what the fuck?"
The final results of the invasion are far from pretty. Konoha's numbers are still pretty cut down as are Sand's who are still totally playing that "Orochimaru killed our kage and was giving orders so us invading you is totes not our fault" card they did in canon. It's accepted for the same reason as in canon: the sharks are already circling with blood in the water no need to churn the tide when a perfectly good excuse is offered up.
Third watch: without two other kages backing him in a restricted space and not enough time to restructure the plan to get Mandra in on the action sun wukong and The Professor taught a hard lesson in getting absolutely whomped. Orochimaru got away alive sans a working leg, but old man bodies aren't really still made for pitched life or death combat and his body's heavily protesting the return to combat. The can can be kicked a little further down the road safely but they need a qualified non Danzo candidate and soon.
Sound Trio: the corps aren't totally happy about it but they need manpower and they've got friends on the inside and a grudge against orochimaru so...probation working with Anko. She already adopted them they can't say no. And by adopted i do mean carted them away in a net to get lodgings and food. And a good medic to look at Zaku's arms.
Otogiri: in so much trouble you have no idea. His various schemes finally came out around someone without the good sense to lie about it so T&I would like a word with him. And Kakashi? Who is now claiming before anyone can even threaten pain or a jaunt through his head that they were in already working against the threat to Konoha since Wave. Kakashi?
His claim is the money stolen from Gato to insulate Wave and brought back to Konoha was in preparation for the coming storm. Obviously deep internal agents like Mizuki and Kabuto left Kakashi little choice but to keep Otogiri in deep cover to root out the problem without drawing suspicion by having contact with known figures like The Third. Kakashi had total control of the situation the whole time. Honest.
Otogiri's just kind of nodding along because he is just getting windmall slammed by haymaker after haymaker in a pretty short window of time. Ibuki is Not Buying This but the kid's actions prove his loyalty at the end of the day and if Hatake wants to take the lumps for his kid? Well, more power to him. Ibuki reminds Kakashi there are 'proper verified channels' for internal operations and he should remember to use them in the future. He expects a full concise report regarding everything from both of them and sends the teacher-student pair off with a glare.
This is where all that Kakashi stuff from earlier gets revealed to the audience as he goes over how and when he caught Otogiri mid treason and how close an eye he's actually been keeping on the boy. It is as terrifying as Kakashi's tone is light. Otogiri's just so incredibly thankful he declares his undying loyalty to his sensei for looking out for him and following his own principals so closely. Yes, Otogiri is crying at this point why do you ask?
This is the peaceful denouement of part 1 as Otogiri goes around catching up with who he can he is left to ponder why he has Kyubei chakra. How did Tobio even die anyway? And why is Jiraya here inviting him on a trip with Naruto? Does he wanna be a spymaster? Wasn't fixing Tobio's mistake the end of the story why is there more? Help!
Miscellaneous character notes on Otogiri:
-> is fairly meta and aware of transmigration novels and some of their rules. Is wrong about as often as he is right
-> has a fairly solid grasp on the character's motives but can't predict moments of wild humanity
-> has a hard time grasping his own mortality despite or rather because he has already died once. Will blank out at the idea of dying as bad as if not worse than Sakura when intent is aimed at him. Refuses to dwell on his first death or Tobio's
-> sarcastic and frequently argumentative. He likes to pick fights when he's feeling safe with someone.
-> was a bit of an edgelord in life and has a twisted sense of morality. His interference doesn't cost Shino his life but it could have and he ignores that for his own goals.
-> early on is mildly obssessed with finding the divervent point of import thinking if he can solve The Problem he'll fade into an epilogue or something. Is in Denial.
-> connecting events in his present with his past unlocks memories of both Tobio's life and his own. Facing his own death is the only way for him to Understand.
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deva-arts · 6 months
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☆ Nathaniel Wilson ☆
I Really Like Nathaniel because the guy embodies Hope and Positivity without forcing it down the gullets of everyone around him.
He looks like he'd be a pleasant individual to actually be around at 7 am. Even before his coffee. [ Sera should be too, she doesn't seem like an unbearable person to be around in La Matinée ( the Morning ) . But still, she is alot grumpier than her other half. ]
With that said. Insert Happy music here. Nujabes or Smth.
Submitted by @mettamorphoses!
Love the way you drew Nate here! such a clean style and serious face :> He's my favorite little quadfocal guy... friendly, polite, and a good conversationalist! You're absolutely right, he's one of the easiest people to get along with. It's almost like he knows exactly what to say to people.
Sera isn't grumpy so much as she is disinterested and dismissive. She heads to work without bothering to make small talk besides a basic "Hello." if she passes you by. Not the worst outcome, really, if silence doesn't bother you.
#submission#yeah. i'm in Tags too. wassup witchu#Aight but seriously i wonder how literally anyone would be like at 7 am.#Deva's tags start here =>#If he's home for the day he will always be a good conversationalist and offer breakfast or coffee on a morning#This is literally so cool#queued post#As for people at 7 am...#Sera is up by 4 AM unless Nate doesn't have work. By 7 she has already had breakfast and gotten ready to work on her projects.#If you catch her it is likely after she returns from a morning flight. She'll be civil but it can easily come off the wrong way. aw.#Nate takes a lot of long shifts that stretch into the night. Due to this he and Sera have very contrasting schedules.#If you see him in the morning it is usually only because of the weekend or whatever other days he takes off. He is a very tired guy#Vincent has a very erratic schedule and he is always out and about doing things that fancy him#He is also a HEAVY sleeper. Nothing can really wake him except for a very specific noise#Said sound makes him wake up in a horrendous mood. Most mornings are thankfully safe from this sort of temper.#It is hard to say what new bizarre thing he will get himself into next. Like doomcrying while hidden on the roof of a religious congregatio#Sonia is not up by 7 AM without a good reason to be. She is down at the kitchen in a bathrobe by 9 to eat some breakfast.#Which made her the unknowing first victim of Vincent's newly founded pyramid scheme#Amon is a late riser since he is still used to his old schedule from his time at the Ricciardi mafia. Sleeps late? wakes late!#If it's a weekday he will always be up at 6 AM regardless of the amount he slept to take Adra to school.#Eric tends to wake up early but often gets caught up in personal projects. He loves music and editing his tracks but it really eats his tim#So Eric will be going to sleep at 4 and see Sera making herself coffee whilst Nate is also coming home from work and crashing on the couch.#Not even Amon heads in that late. Maybe Vincent does though. If he's “Traversing the night.” Like he says he does.#Vince can't see very well at night anymore. And the sun is almost blinding now. But it's nothing to an immortal like him! ha! bow before hi
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lionblaze03-2 · 4 months
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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.
#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else#It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize#You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt#Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc#Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t#And it gives you a crisis at age 14#Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice#and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it#Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something#I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’#and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir#Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag#I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something#More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please#doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue#But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today#(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it#TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start#Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything#Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing#I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation#But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south#It certainly does not help and can be disheartening#Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious#lion’s lair
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sludgeguzzler · 1 year
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the yaoi is so palpable in this fandom and it fills me with grief everytime i notice it
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wintergrofyuri · 3 months
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"(blank) hates laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP
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shuro is just as awkward as laios and it is made So clear he considers him a friend and likes him. he defends him when the canaries start talking shit and actively readies himself to physically fight them so they dont get to him.
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namari also likes laios. she respects him as a leader and also defends him and readies to fight the canaries.
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ive not actually seen anyone claim izutsumi hates laios, but a lot of ppl Are weird abt them. izutsumi and laios' relationship was rocky at the beginning. he struggled to figure out how to interact with her. but by the end, she actively seeks him out to talk with during the lead up to the feast. she hides behind him when falin wakes up. she has already realized shecan do what she wants and does not need to stick around, yet she does. she sleeps near him on the windowsill, waiting with him and marcille for falin to wake up. she has accepted him as part of her life and wants to keep him in it.
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marcille does not hate laios. let me say this again.
Marcille Donato Does Not Hate Laios Touden.
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marcille Loves him. in a platonic, familial sense. laios returns this just as readily. she yells at him. she whacks him. she tells him whats on her mind. she uses healing magic to ease his pain during the parasite fiasco. she reattaches his leg when he loses it. she teaches him magic. she lays her head on his corpse and cries before reviving him. she launches herself at him two times, when the canaries interrogate them and when he talks her down in the tower. he is a comforting presence to her. she trusts him, she cares about him, she worries about him, she imagines him as a big fluffy dog that loves and protects her. laios is her rock when falin is taken from them time and time again. and she tries to be his as well. she whole-heartedly, unconditionally, loves and trusts laios.
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chilchuck does not hate laios. laios pays him his rates, no questions asked. laios trusts and respects chilchuck's job as a lockpick. laios does not see him as a child (at least, i cant think of an instance where he does so). chilchuck states, outright, he sees him as a friend and doesnt want to see him hurt. he actively worries about him as the falin situation gets worse. chilchuck respects laios. he shows almost 0 hesitation in helping get falin back, nor eating her by the end. he does not think of leaving him once, until he realizes he could lose him. chilchuck is cowardly with emotions and prefers to bottle things, so his first instinct was to bolt. he was angry because he was scared of watching someone he cares about destroy himself. laios is his Friend.
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and holy shit. holy Fucking shit. kabru DOES NOT hate laios. kabru has the rockiest start known to man with him, and he Still helps him by occupying the canaries. he warns him about them. he hides the black magic from them just as shuro does. his whole Thing is trusting laios despite himself. kabru has his own baggage regarding other people, just like laios, yet he tries so hard to believe and trust this man. he Wants to. kabru is not very hopeful, but laios makes him Want to be. he states like 3 times he wants to be close to him and sees him as a friend. he stays through the entire feast!! the man who hates monsters, whose biggest trigger is monsters, actively, consciously, Willingly stayed through the entire monster meat feast. all to help his friend get his sister back. he could've left!! the feast was like an entire week!! yet he was there for every single day. he was one of the closest people to the door when falin awoke!! after reuniting with her brother, her friends, the people who knew her the most (plus senshi and izutsumi), the first person she greets is kabru!! he wants to be close to laios, he likes laios, laios is his friend and he cares for him, he wants to meet his sister!!! kabru fucking stays on the island with him as one of his closest, most trusted advisors when he becomes king!!!!! he wants to help him succeed!!!! he wants him to be happy!!!! laios is his friend!!!!!!!!
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im just. people like laios!! laios is a nice guy! he is friendly and cares about people! he is weird, he doesn't understand most social cues, he oversteps boundaries, but they stay beside him, because they like him and he is their friend. he is their friend!!!!! friendship is not all sunshine and rainbows, relationships in general are not sunshine and rainbows. you will upset people, people will upset you, you will get into arguments, things will happen, but at the end of the day, the people close to you like you! they love you! they care for you! they want to work it out and get through it because they love you, but they will feel those emotions first! human relationships are complex and messy and life is complicated. even shows for toddlers know this.
if you truly believe any of these characters hate laios you are worse than a toddler. watch some fucking oobi or something. god. fuck.
take this
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thanks
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The Return Of Crazy Reality
THAT IS OKAY TO GROMM OTHER PEOPLE... THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME... MANY WANT TO BE GROMMED... THEY'RE THE OPPOSITE TO THE ONES THAT WANT TO GROMM... THIS IS ROMANTIC AND THEY LOVE EACHOTHER... WHY WOULD ANYONE HATE A GROMMRRRGRR...? THEY'RE NICE PEOPLE... THEY HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING... BESIDES... THEY BOTH WANTED EVERYTHING...
Red Woman: Finally Out!!
Pink Woman: Huh?!
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Black Woman: Stop Right There!!
Red Woman: That's The Judge That Tried To Kill Us!!
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Pink Woman Attacks Judge Woman With A Sword!!
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Red Woman: You're Going To Die Again Only.
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Judge Woman Attacks With Her Massive Hammer Only To Die By Red Woman's!!
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Judge Woman Explodes Into Little Pieces!!
Red Woman: I Hate Cops... I Hate Judges... LET ME ENJOY MY CUTE AND FUNNY IN PEACE YOU BASTARDS!! I'M HORNY!!
Judge Woman Is Dead!!
DID YOU KNOW THAT THAT IS OKAY TO DO ANYTHING YOU CAN AS LONG AS YOU'RE HORNY...? NOW YOU DO :)...
Pink Woman: Wow!! I'm Learning So Much From Being With You!! There's Nothing I Enjoy More!!
Red Woman: :)...
Pink Woman: 😇...
Blue Woman: I'm Going To Kill You...
White Woman: Why?
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White Woman: Aww Cutie... I Will Always Love You...
Blue Woman: Really...? Despite Our Huge Differences In Age... You Still... Love Me...?
White Woman: Yes... Always...
Blue Woman: Thank You 😭😭😭😭...
White Woman: You're Welcome.
WHITE WOMAN KISSES BLUE WOMAN... BEATIFULL... RELATIONSHIP...
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