#before covid i don't know if i would have realized i was sick

[arctic-hands]

I spent FOUR DAYS in an E.R bed because there were NO beds open anywhere in the hospital proper. I get discharged after a week of being dangerously dehydrated despite the constant heavy duty electrolytes being pumped into my veins round the clock and in the third worst pain of my life, only to watch on the news at home a report about the days-long wait times in hospitals and hear that the reporters have the audacity to wonder why hospitals are overcrowded again

It's covid. Stop being wilful idiots

[vanteguccir]

starve and die | c. sturniolo

Chris Sturniolo x reader | Matt and Nick Sturniolo x reader (platonic)

Summary: When Nick and Matt test positive for covid and Chris has to go into lockdown to prevent catching the virus, who will look after them?

Warning: Covid-19, sickness.

Author's note: I've just watched the triplets new video and had this idea!!

PS.: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N sighed as she turned off her car, preparing herself for the long days ahead, not that it was a burden for her to take care of her boyfriend and best friends, almost brothers.

Matt and Nick tested positive for Covid-19 two days ago, and the first thing Chris did upon receiving their test results was send a quick text to Y/N saying that they both had the virus and that he and his brothers would have to be in lockdown for at least five days.

He sent many texts asking her to not worry, as his brothers' symptoms weren't much more than the flu, and that he was fine and would stay in his room so he wouldn't run the risk of catching the virus too, but who said she listened?

Y/N knew that Chris wouldn't have the patience to make healthy food at least three times a day for him and his brothers, and she knew how afraid he was of getting sick too. Y/N didn't have that worry, being a medical student and a resident at LA's main private hospital, she knew very well how to deal with all of this and wouldn't spare any energy when taking care of her family.

The girl was grateful that her boss had empathy and gave her a few days off work.

With that, Y/N prepared herself the day before, going to the nearest pharmacy to buy some boxes of covid tests and a new box of disposable masks, since the one she had at home was running low, and then went to Target, buying several healthy snacks, fruits, vegetables and chicken to make several soups and light food dishes, not intending to make anything heavy or fatty with fear of making the boys' situation worse.

Today, before leaving the house, Y/N prepared a backpack with a few extra changes of clothes, without overfilling it due to having more than enough of it at the triplets' house. Furthermore, she took a purse and put everything she would need: masks, tests, food and some medicines that are allowed during covid to alleviate some symptoms.

Before getting out of the driver's seat, Y/N grabbed the mask she had ready next to her, putting it on her face and finally getting out of the car. Y/N closed the door and opened the back seat, grabbing her backpack and purse, quickly locking the car and walking to the front door. The girl searched the pocket of her Fresh Love sweatpants, soon finding the spare key to her boyfriend's house.

After unlocking the door, she opened it carefully, not wanting to make too much noise, already knowing that one of the boys had a headache, if not all of them.

The girl walked to the kitchen and placed her things on the counter, before going back to the door to close and lock it.

Before Y/N started her first task, she walked to Chris's room, seeing the door closed. She knocked twice lightly, opening it slowly and seeing Chris under the covers staring at the ceiling, in the dark, with only the light from his TV illuminating the space, the girl held back a laugh knowing that her boyfriend was probably losing his mind for staying locked in his room alone for days.

Chris quickly raised his head with the sound, taking a few seconds to realize that Y/N was there, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Babe, what are you doing here?" He asked, getting up quickly and walking towards her, asking with his eyes if he could get closer and the girl rolled her eyes, nodding.

"I came to take care of you three idiots." She mumbled against the mask, closing her eyes momentarily as she felt Chris's arms around her, never wanting to let go.

"I told you not to worry, I had everything under control." Chris murmured, pulling away to look her in the eyes.

"Of course, so much so that you were lying there staring at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world." She let out a laugh when she heard Chris snort. "I'm sure you must be starving, when was the last time you ate some real food?" Y/N questioned, seeing Chris shrug.

"You talk as if I didn't show up at the hospital almost everyday with lunch for you." Chris snapped like a child, crossing his arms.

"Lunch that Nick made." She argued, laughing loudly when Chris huffed, frowning. "I'm kidding, baby, I love it when you show up at the hospital with lunch for me." Y/N said, approaching and planting a kiss on Chris's shoulder behind the mask.

"By the way, weren't you on duty today?" Chris asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he took his phone out of his hoodie pocket and double-clicked the screen, checking the date.

"I did, but I asked my boss for a few days off so I could take care of you and she gave it to me." Y/N said smiling big, and Chris couldn't help but smile back as he saw his girlfriend's eyes shrink from her happy expression, without being able to see her smile directly.

"Well, since you're already here, I think I'm a little hungry." Chris joked, running his hand over his belly and giving her a mischievous smile.

"Alright little kid, I'm going to cook you something and you're going to stay here in your room and look pretty." The girl said, pushing Chris lightly, blowing a kiss and closing the door behind her.

Y/N walked to the kitchen again, not containing her goofy smile.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Y/N lifted the lid of the pan, taking the wooden spoon and quickly tasting the chicken soup (here in Brazil we call it canja, and it works miracles when you're sick, and it's delicious), letting out a sound of pleasure for the flavor. She turned off the heat, taking three plates from the cupboard and the spoon, distributing the soup on each of the plates, sprinkling some leek on top before taking three spoons and placing them inside the plates.

The girl took three glasses and added fresh orange juice, which she made minutes before, and took two pills of the only headache medicine allowed during the virus.

Y/N opened one of the cabinets and took three trays, placing them side by side on the counter and arranging on top of each one the plate of soup, the glass of juice and the medicine pill.

She quickly grabbed the first tray and walked carefully to Matt's bedroom door, bending down and placing the tray on the floor before knocking on the door three times.

"Matt?"

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Y/N heard Matt's voice, feeling in his voice the pain the boy was feeling.

"I came to take care of you three, I made some soup and juice, they're in here." She replied, hearing the boy move around inside the room before walking away and returning to the kitchen, hearing the sound of the door opening and closing a few minutes later.

Y/N took the second tray and walked to Nick's room, hearing his voice behind the door, assuming he was on a call with someone or recording a video. The girl bent down and placed the tray on the floor again, knocking firmly on the door to make sure Nick heard.

"What are you doing outside your room, Chris?" Nick shouted from inside the room, making the girl laugh. "Y/N?!" He asked in surprise before quickly opening the door and Y/N applauded herself for wearing the mask. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be working?" Nick asked, holding the camera in one of his hands, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I took a few days off to take care of you three. And I made real food!" Y/N repeated the same sentence for the thousandth time, pointing to the tray, smiling when she saw the taller's eyes light up.

The boy bent down, picking up the tray with one of his hands and straightening up, raising the camera again and smiling wide at the lens.

"Guys, Y/N brought food for us, the hungry ones. Everyone say "thank you Y/N"." Nick spoke into the lens, smiling widely at the girl before closing the door after seeing her turn to go back to the kitchen.

Finally, the girl took the last tray and walked to the last room, her boyfriend's, where she would stay for the rest of the days, knowing that the boy was free of the virus.

"Honey? Open here for me, please." Y/N asked from behind the door, entering the room after Chris quickly opened it with a smile on his face, staring at the soup on the tray.

The girl let out a laugh, placing the tray on the boy's computer desk and sitting on his bed, pointing at the food.

"Bon appétit, my love."

"What would I do without you?" Chris asked, approaching the computer desk and sitting in the chair.

"Starve and die." She replied, laughing loudly behind her mask as she saw Chris shove a spoonful of soup into his mouth as he nodded quickly, without actually hearing her.

[darkbluekies]

Hey blue!! I’m new and absolutely love your writing! I love doctor kry!!! But I was wondering if I could request some doctor kry fluff ? I just feel awful right now.. I may have Covid and I’m wheezing and coughing. I’d really appreciate it. But of course if you’re busy there’s no fuss! Ty! Sending virtual hugs!!🤗🤗

Hurting

Doctor!yandere OC x Reader

Summary: You're finally allowed in the patients lounge, until a boy attacks you. Doctor Kry realizes how quickly you can be taken from him and decides to do something he's never dared to before.

Warnings: blood, beating, yandere, isolation, kissing, suggestive themes, hints of killing

Word count: 1.9k

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Y/N?"

"Can we do something today? I don't want to sit in here all day again."

Dr Kry moves over to your bed slowly. "What would you like to do then?"

"It's so lonely sitting in here", you sigh. "Could we go to the lounge? Please? I want to be surrounded by people again."

"Y/N you're fragile, you know that. You shouldn't breathe their air."

"But … I've been to other parts of the hospital and I was fine. I was even outside with you, remember?"

"Yes, and do you remember how weak you felt?"

You pout slightly. Another try that failed. Dr Kry tips his head, smiling slightly.

"Okay, what about this", he says. "You wear a little oxygen mask and then I'll take you to the patient's lounge?"

"You'd do that?" you ask excitedly.

"If it makes you happy."

"Yes, yes, it really will!"

Dr Kry smiles, nodding and says he will be back soon. You sit in your bed with a smile on your face until he returns. He has a machine with him and a plastic mask connected to it.

"You'll have to wear this over your face", he says. "The oxygen in the tank is pure for you. I've measured the toxic levels. It's safe."

"Will they laugh at me?" you ask carefully. "The other patients?"

"What? Of course not! They're wearing casts and bandages of all weird types, they won't even bat an eye."

"Do you promise?"

"Of course. If you want, you can hold onto me when we enter, if it feels scary."

"Yes, please."

Dr Kry tries to hide the smile creeping up on his face. You catch it and smile with him.

Dr Kry leads you through the white hospital corridors with his arm around your shoulders. His firm, protective grip is reserved for you.

You enter the patients lounge and see people of all ages, ethnicities and genders sitting here and there. Some are discussing, some are playing games. And some are hiding for themselves in the corner.

"Alright …", Dr Kry mutters. "What would you like to do?"

You look around, eyes catching the Playstation consolws in front of a protected TV-screen.

"I want to play some games", you whisper. "Can I?"

"Let's go see what games they have."

You're not surprised that there are no shooting games. There are animal simulators, puzzle games and Lego star wars. Dr Kry nods, approving the little selection there is. You pick up a goat simulator.

"I'll be by the wall with the other doctors", Dr Kry whispers in your ear, rubbing your shoulder slightly.

Otherwise they'll be suspicious of his close relationship to you. He has to blend in with them.

"Okay", you say softly, meeting his blue eyes.

He thinks he's going to faint. Your eyes look so sparkly. He fixes your oxygen mask and gives you a small smile before walking over to the wall.

"It's not often we see your patient out and about", a doctor snickers.

Dr Kry doesn't look at him. He leans his back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

"They're sick", Dr Kry answers dryly. "Why would I let them out among bacteria?"

"You're still careful, I see", the other doctor smiles. "What exactly is wrong with them?"

Dr Kry flinches at that word. He turns his cold blue eyes to the doctor.

"Nothing is wrong with them", he corrects him coldly. "They're just sick. Other than that they're perfectly normal."

"I didn't mean it like that, Kry. I was just wondering since they're always in their room. No ones allowed to meet them."

"I don't want them to become worse. Everything in that room is sterilized and pure, exactly what my patient needs. If I allowed people to walk in and out as they pleased, it'd be contaminated and they'd be worse."

The doctor nods. "I understand. You're a very dedicated man, Kry, I'm impressed. I've heard that you stay in the doctors dorms with the patient room telephone by your ear."

"I do have a life to care for. They're still sick even when my working hours are over. I have to be available in case something happens."

The doctor is about to answer when your voice cuts through the air. A loud, heartbreaking scream. Dr Kry snaps his head in your direction. Everything seems to go in slow motion. A boy has approached you and ripped the oxygen mask off of you. He's over you with the console in his hands. Dr Kry grows cold and runs forward. He reaches the boy and rips him off you, throwing him wherever he can. He silently hopes that he cracked his skull open on the drawing table. The doctor who he had talked to shoots forward to retrieve what seems to be his patient.

Dr Kry’s attention shifts to you. You're lying on the floor, trembling with tears in your eyes. Your lip is burst. He can tell that the Playstation controller has a bit of blood on it. In one quick motion, he scoops you up in his arms. You lock your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck, and hide your face into his broad shoulder. Dr Kry secures one of his strong arms around your waist and grabs a hold of the machine with the other.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with your patient?" Dr Kry spits angrily, angrier than he's ever been before. "They're not just sick, they're actually wrong! How dare he attack my patient like that?!"

"He didn't mean to-", the doctor tries.

"I don't believe that. Get your uncontrollable beast far away from my patients or I'll show that little bastard a thing or two."

Dr Kry doesn't wait for an answer. He walks out with you and the machina tightly clutched in his hands. You sob into his shoulder. The sound of it makes Dr Krys heart ache. Your body is trembling in his hold. He wants to check up on you, but you're not safe yet. You have to get back to your room first.

"Are you okay, little one?" he asks as he hurries through the corridors. "Try not to breathe so much filthy air, breathe down into my neck. Good job, just like that. You're doing so good. You'll be okay soon. I'll take care of you right when we get to the room."

He swings the door open to the hospital room and places you down on the nearest surface — the desk. He backs away enough to see your face.

"Poor thing, your lip is bleeding", he cooes and touches your bottom lip with his fingers ever so gently.

He turns to the drawers to get you some cotton balls, swiftly placing his fingers to his lips. He's not one that usually likes the taste of blood, but he finds himself enjoying the metallic taste of yours. He flinches, stopping. Did he just really do that?

Dr Kry gravs the cotton ball and a bit of disinfection substance and dabs it on your soft lips. You hiss and try to pull back.

"Y/N, stop, I have to clean it", he says apologetically. "I know it hurts, but I have to make sure it doesn't get infected. Be good for me now and I'll give you something fun later, okay? I have some gifts in preparation."

You nod unnoticeably. His heart absolutely shatters at the sight of your tears. He's so close to dropping the professional act and swooping you up in his arms — where nothing can ever hurt you again.

"There we go, your lip is clean", he says and takes your hands in his. "Are you hurt anywhere else? What did he do to you?"

"He wanted the game console and I said no … so he got mad. He demanded it again and I refused … so he ripped the mask off of me and tried to grab it. I refused to let it go so he ripped it from me and threw me down on the floor and hit me."

Dr Kry clenches his jaw. His grip on your hands tightens significantly. You whimper, begging him to let go of you. As if awoken from a trance, he apologizes and lets go.

"I'm not really hurt", you reassure him quietly. "I got more startled than hurt. I'm sorry if I scared you."

"You're bleeding. You're hurt. He hurt you. He won't get away with it."

You touch his shoulder carefully. He shivers.

"Your uniform …", you say in shame. "I got it bloody, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Y/N, I don't mind", he smiles and wipes your tears with his hands. "It's washable."

He fights the strong urge to hug you. Every nerve in his body fights bravely, but they're not strong enough. He wraps his arms around you to bring you into his embrace. The placement of you both makes him blush. You, sitting on his desk with him standing between your legs … it's all so dangerously close to what he wants. It's teasing him. He can't give in. Not more than this.

"I'm so glad you're okay", he whispers in your ear and tightens his embrace. "I got so scared. Are you sure that you're not hurt?"

"The only thing that hurts is my lip."

A sudden wave of confidence washes over him. He pulls back, glances at the cleaned wound.

"I can make it go away", he whispers in a husky voice he didn't know he could achieve. He glances at your eyes carefully. "May I?"

You give that nod again. He has half a second to contemplate before his lips will meet yours. One part of the brain tells him to stop, that this isn't professional. The other screams at him to hurry up, he's been waiting long enough. He gulps and finally, finally, allows his lips to meet yours. All air in his lungs disappears, but that doesn't matter, he doesn't need it. He wants to breathe you, day and night. You're softer than he could ever imagine. A small taste of blood fills his mouth. He has to kill that boy.

You place your hand on his clean shoulder and answer his kisses. It's the only signal he needs to hold you closer, bring you into him. He wonders — wishes — that you can feel how hard his heart is beating, so you can finally understand how much he has longed for you.

He understands that he has to pull back, whether he likes it or not, to not go further.

"You're so unbelievably pretty, do you know that?" he whispers.

"Do you really think that?" you ask just as quietly.

"With all my heart."

You avoid eye contact for a few seconds before glancing back carefully.

"This won't change a thing, I promise", Dr Kry whispers with a small smile. "I'll still be your doctor. You can count on me, okay?"

You nod.

"Good", he smiles. "I think you should rest now. This has been very straining for you."

"Can you hold me?"

Dr Kry nods. He lifts you over to the bed and lies down beside you, holding you in his arms. You shut your eyes and slowly drift off to sleep. Dr Kry can feel an ounce of regret in him, but a big part of pride. He finally dared … he hopes you won't be uncomfortable with him now.

When he's sure that you're sleeping, he leaves the bed and tucks you in. He takes a good look at you, his beautiful patient.

"As long as I'm here, nothing will hurt you", he whispers. "I'll get rid of everyone who causes you harm. I'll be back soon, that boy needs to be taught manners."

[unhappy-last-resort]

Fevered Dreams ( PGR Chrome & ??? x GN Reader)

Warnings: implied somnophilia, manipulation, reader is sick (possibly COVID sick, depends on how my test goes), I am currently ill so I decided to write comfort that's less comfort and more discomfort instead

Lmk any mistakes or improvements I can make.

It started with something small. Just a sore throat and nothing more, but by the next afternoon it had slowly grown into into something more troublesome.

Shortness of breath and fatigue and all while you were on a mission too, how convenient. Gray Raven was quick to shuffle you back to base once a nearby squad arrived to help and off you went back on a ship straight to Babylonia with Liv to accompany you just in case you got worse on the flight back (you did.)

You couldn't help but be frustrated, the day was going well and now everything is going to grind to a halt. You were already dreading what the night would be like when you were struggling even to take a nap. You sit up in your bed and stare a hole into the bedsheets. You didn't feel like doing much of anything, you just wanted to sleep, but that seemed impossible. You kept tossing and turning and even when you did fall asleep for a second you'd have these terrible nightmares; a swelling red tide full of all the cries of the ones you love and care about with their broken hands reaching out to you, looming towers disrupting your vision and transforming your friends- and even yourself into something crazed and horrid, towering trees made of fire and hellish twin faces, a sister in white slowly being torn apart limb by limb as her two red sisters scream in horror and pain of losing each other again as one red sister begs you to do something while the other says to stay away and that you'll never be enough. You're sure there's more, but you're too tired and miserable to try and remember any further.

A light knock disrupts your thoughts, and you're thankful for it. "Come in." You try to say it loud enough so the other person can hear, but you end up giving yourself a coughing fit instead.

"Commandant, I've warned you many times about the cost of exhausting your body." A familiar yet surprising voice sounds through your room and you look up between coughs.

"Chrome?" You croak and your brows furrow slightly in confusion. You're not surprised that he's visiting you, you're surprised that he's back so soon.

You remember earlier...you don't remember when and you can't figure out a time estimate, but he came to see you.

In the midst of your tossing and turning, you opened your eyes faintly to see a blurry figure, the face wasn't close enough for you to tell who it was and judging by the black in the blurry colors, it certainly wasn't Liv. Ah, what was that? It looked like a flash of red, Lucia? But you're not sure that's right either.

You open your mouth to ask who it is when the figure speaks first. "Rest. You don't need to fret, I'll be watching over you."

It's masculine, so definitely not Lucia or Liv...your brain is so scattered you can't seem to decide on who it is. Names and faces appear and disappear like shards of glass in your mind's eye, fleeting and falling through your fingers before you could catch them.

A light pressure forms on your shoulder, pushing you down gently in an attempt to stop the writhing you hadn't realized you were doing. "There's no need to panic, I won't hurt you, I just want to watch over you for a while. I'll look after you and keep you safe."

Noan? Lee? Chrome?...Chrome. It must be Chrome you decided, but why is he here now? You remember Liv saying he would visit at 5 PM and while you don't know the exact time now, you knew it was too early to be 5PM.

"Chrome? Didn't you say you'd visit later?" You ask nasally, your throat irritating you to no end. There's a brief moment of silence from the figure before he speaks again.

"I finished my work early, so I decided to come see you early. Is that alright...Commandant?" The voice is melodic, if you didn't know Chrome you'd think he was mocking you right now.

"It's fine, just wondering is all." You mumble as your head falls back onto the pillow, so tired and yet unable to sleep.

"Of course, you wouldn't want a wolf to come in and endanger you." Chrome replies, you feel a finger glide over the line of your torso before stopping right at your midriff. You laugh softly into a coughing fit at his 'joke'.

"Oh my, you really are quite ill aren't you?" A moment later you feel your head being raised and a cool glass press against your lips. Obediently you open your mouth and drink the water and when you've had enough, 'Chrome' gently sets you down again and cups your face.

You keep your eyes closed as he stays like that for a while. You feel his gaze over your face before it slowly drifts down and lingers at your lips, what you assume is a finger runs over your bottom lip before his heavy gaze travels further, studying your neck, then your chest, your arms, your stomach, your hips, and resting a moment between your thighs before the gaze travels the dips and curves of your body back up to your face.

"Go to sleep." If you hadn't known Chrome better it would've sounded like a warning. Regardless, you did somehow manage to fall back into a sleep punctuated with the occasional ghostly sensation of gloved fingers on your skin followed by a soft press of lips, but you couldn't tell if that was from a dream or not, since every time you tried to see who it was...there was nothing.

"Commandant?" Blue eyes swirling with concern and a slight twinge of fear wait anxiously for your answer, a gloved hand stretches out before abruptly hesitating and pulling back. "Commandant, can you hear me?"

"Yeah sorry, I didn't realize I zoned out." You give Chrome a faint smile. "But you don't need to check up on me so often."

Chrome's brows furrow, he seems more anxious suddenly. "Commandant, this is the first time I've seen you today. Did you...perhaps have a dream?"

"Huh? No, you definitely came here earlier." There was no doubt in your mind that that was real. You saw him earlier, you were absolutely certain. You'd even bet your life upon it, that's how certain you were.

"...I wasn't here earlier." Chrome replies, there's no tone of judgement, or mockery in his voice. He says it calmly, confidently, and gently, the same way he does when informing you of strategies or what types of enemies are on the field.

You don't know what to say so you quietly look over the memory again in your mind, combing through it and looking for anything suspicious. It must've shown on your face because Chrome suddenly crouches down in front of you.

"It's...alright if you dreamt of me," Chrome's cheeks flush ever so slightly and he averts his gaze before finding his words once more. "But I want to make sure you know the difference between dreams and reality, Commandant."

There is no hint of judgment in his face, only the sincere and genuine care he has always shown you. "I...you're right, maybe I've been pushing myself too hard lately. I'll ask Liv if I can take some sleeping pills." You're still certain those events were reality, but knowing how concerned everyone already is, you don't want to add hallucinations onto their list of things to fret about so you just go with it instead.

Chrome smiles gently and then it falters for a moment, becoming confused then strained as his gaze lingers on the side of your neck. "Chrome?" You call, wondering what's wrong. Your fingers reach up towards your neck before being stopped suddenly, you look down and realize it was Chrome's hand on your wrist. You stare at each other for a moment before Chrome stands up and clears his throat, letting go of your wrist in the process.

"Ahem...it's nothing, Commandant. I was just thinking about missions. Please get some rest." And with that, Chrome leaves. Quietly shutting the door behind you and leaving you in solitude once more.

Solitude? My, after such a wonderful performance you gave me you think I'd simply leave you to suffer alone? Never, dear little rabbit of mine, would I ever do such a thing.

[archivalofsins]

Actually the your last answer sparkes my interest and i'm curious, which songs from the first caligula game would you assign to the milgram prisoners?

I am so freaking excited to go into this- Because I love the Caligula Effect soundtrack soooo much. My favorite song was Lovec Scope but I am currently obsessing over Cosmo Dancer for reasons. I also just finished two so I hope you don't mind me adding some thoughts on that at the end and what it could mean for Milgram overall.

I know this took very long to answer. Unfortunately, life has gotten pretty hectic. Every time I sat down to work on this reply, something else cropped up. Key instances include me still recovering from covid and needing to pace myself differently than before (which I am still feeling the aftereffects of) and finding out my mother's heart had temporarily stopped (from arrhythmia). I also needed to get some other feelings out on Caligula Effect 2 before diving into all of this some I shared with you earlier and another one I posted about before putting this up. It just didn't feel completely honest to make this post without acknowledging my feelings on one of the repeating themes of the second game first. It will become apparent why later in this post! But for now,

Let's get into this-

Cosmo Dancer is a Mikoto song. (Sorry I don't make the rules except I just did so I do.)

Mikoto Cosmo Dancer

"It's the "me" of today as well." "Let's resist against fighting- Ha! This makes me laugh." "Scatter, disappear; until you become completely invisible! See; you can fight now!" "Puppets whose hearts are controlled."

Go on and show me the usual./“No, I need to do more…”

Those beautiful bonds of yours. IT'S SO MEANINGLESS IT MAKES ME SICK! I will teach you! So; dance as much as you want. In the palm of my hands. On this best stage. Nobody will steal your heart.

Yeah… well, I mean, some days are hard, but… I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off. I don’t even know, the reason why I’m here “He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?

All I did was dream/ If it is a never-ending dream.

So you find me INNOCENT, it’s that simple right? Come to know me as an honest man, eat your words, gulp them down.

Mikoto: [scream] You’re all fucking annoying! I’ll beat you all to death, pieces of shit!!! Mikoto : AAAHHHHHHHHHH!! DESTROY EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!!

Then let's just destroy everything! I don't want this worthless world. This is my dream!

Before the life in this world is exhausted./ Say what? You’re gonna break.-You’re overdoing it, you’re already broken.

When this time comes- in this corner of the universe. Watch tragedy happen.../ Why, why, if only I were never born, if only. Why, why.

My life...it wasn't supposed to be this way.

Let's get the bullet out of the way second now this one may be a bit well surprising but-

Futa Love Scope

Look I don't want to do this to any of us here, considering how Stork is viewed as a character but I have to. I can't unsee it.

"That's right! You know me from way back. Those feelings already begin to excellerate."/ "Don’t act like you have no idea! We won’t forgive you- You’re the crazy one! Ban-Ba-Bang"- "FUCK IT! You won’t be forgiven, it was stupid licking each other’s wounds." "You already noticed right? What you gonna do?"

"Ah, now that you mention it- It's an unchanging feeling 'Attention' only to you."/ "I'm already obsessed!" "You’re the crazy one!" "You already knew, the whole time. You can’t escape, how do you like the taste of punishment?" "You won’t be forgiven, a coward, never!"

TELL ME! Please, do not hide it! 'Communication'. I want to sing about the 'you' that nobody knows. I want to peek at all those feelings./ "What I want to hear is the scream deep inside you!"

SHOW ME! Go ahead and just be yourself! 'Realization'./ "Bye bye idiots and devils with a faces of angels. We will expose you all by whipping you with words until you are bruised."

"I will take away your smile, I will take away everything until nothing is left. Unleash this hot impulse but do not get lost into it."/ "It's a bit annoying because I can't handle too much hot food. I want it on repeat, I want a spicy treat- Can I get seconds? One more time! I want to burn bright red!" "I want to escape, but I'm not able to."- "Flames closing in, can’t douse this FIRE!"

"I will not let you go until I die. Let's hold onto everything properly until it becomes transparent."/ "Isn't it alright to have loved? Tied together without touching anyone. Isn't this also fate? Dissapear, dissapear, this kind of love-"

"I don't need a love where you're just holding back. I'll always be watching you. Ah! Right now...it's so painful."/ "Did you call it love? Clinging and being impatient. Isn't it alright to kill the type of me that hates you?"- "I can't stop! I don't want to stop! Make sure to cool it down so you don't get burned. I want to escape, but I'm not able to."

"That's right, it's showing on my face. I want to protect you, I cannot stand it! TELL ME! Please let me have this 'Recreation' with your words."/ "Bless me, please, with one more chance." "I’ll deign to hear your last words if you want."

How many times have you repeated this love. I want you to scold me more. I can't have enough! That's why it's amusing./ Tears aren’t enough, no way no how it’s going to end. It’s so hot, so hard to breath, there’s no solace for my heart.

Ah, right now...It's so hot (painful).

Q.07 What have you been into lately?

Futa: Finding a way to distract myself from the pain.

Let's share the answer 'Imagination'/ "If you know I would like you to tell me first. Okay?" "Hot is good, don't you think so? Is it a big deal? Hey, isn't the word "but" not not good? Want to hear the word "more". How is it inside your head?" "I'm already obsessed! Is it doing super great? Hey, honestly isn't it not not crazy? I want to hear the truth! It's heating up inside my head! I CAN'T STOP! I DON'T WANT TO STOP!"

Love Scope manages to perfectly embody all of the things brought up not only in Futa's own songs but the songs he was given to cover. Making it an all-around good fit for him.

Mu Tokemeki Reverie

At the window, I rub my sleepy eyes.

I want to be loved more than anyone else... / "Take more and more (honey) and devote to me." "I told you I’m queen, and it will never be changed." "All the 'good' things that happened today, were actually no good without you." "Why won’t you stop hurting me? My heart is all dried up." "The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note “I love YOU”."

I had a dream about drowning in a sea of tea. I don't want to go away.

"If I was gone, if I had just disappeared. I overheard, I found out. How much I’m not needed." "I see it in my dreams even though I erased it. Maybe I'm done."

Please don't wake me up. Embraced by the silk bed. I'm still sleepy I stop the ringing of the alarm clock. Together in a dream!/ "Let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me." "God gave me everything, everything is as I wish." "All I have, I'll transmit to you. Even this disease. Because the more painful the more I want to share with you."

I just want to run away from this love./ At the mercy of an endless love. NOW, I can't stand love.

This tea time won't have an end. So, forget everything. The marriage of love and sweetness. Heart-pounding reverie, a maiden wonder zone!/ "I don’t want tomorrow to come, I want to forget yesterday."

I am always dreaming because the wolves are scary. Don't stare at me with that face. Don't show your fangs to the real me.../ "Hey, what if- If I am a bad girl. Don’t hate me."

I can't erase those thorns. So, I have no choice but to embrace them. Tie your heart with a pink ribbon. Please dissappear. I'm always in my dream./ "I told you I’m queen, and it’s always the same. God gave me everything, everything is as I wish. If you want to betray from jealousy. You know what’s gonna happen ON YOU."

Embraced by the silk bed. I want to sleep, please drop off the alarm clock. DO NOT DISTURB ME! This see-through tulle's dress reveals my heart. Drink all the tears, all the tears that I have shed./ "I was miserable, someone please help me." "Just one more time before saying goodbye. I’m just kidding, please forget I said that." "Why won’t you stop hurting me? My heart is all dried up."

A dream scape heart-pounding reverie. A Maiden's Secret Place./ A place just for me.

Haruka Originality Incident

23/04/07 Haruka: Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. PleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-san

I won't give you any of my words. I have closed my mouth. Don't even smile at me. I have hidden my face.

23/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday) Futa: Oi, you. Is he ok? He’s not even left his room lately. Mu: You mean Haruka-kun? Hmm. Yeah, probably. I’ve been bringing all his meals to him so he should be fine. Isn’t that great of me? Futa: Hah? Who the hell says that sort of thing about themself. … ah, no, well, right now I understand a bit. When you’re feeling down, it’s nice to have someone who relies on you and accepts you. The rest of us can’t really understand you from where we’re standing. But well, if you’re Haruka’s “salvation” then I guess it really is great.

Let's play a song of salvation, shall we? It will be a perfect song for you blind guys, right? Phrases that repeat over and over again. It's like echoes that make you stop thinking./ "The word I tried to say was “You’re unfair”, And those words thought how pitiful I am." "You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”." "It’s enough, I am a “disappointment”." "I am always repeating yesterday." "How many more times do I have to do this so I can be human?"

Buried in solitude, I will protect my world. I won't let anyone touch this beloved place. Don't look; don't look at me! There is nobody here, nobody, just look away!/ "My loneliness was desired."

I don't need kindness. Because it only makes you miserable./ "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change."

I don't need rightness, you just have to break the mask./ "The right future unfairly chose the wrong me"

Steps repeated over and over again. Footsteps echo, like you are afraid. I will make a world by eating loneliness. This is the ideal place which I have always imagined./ "I will definitely make you love me again." "I promise to make my dreaMU come true."

Let me go, let me go! I don't need you! Close it, close it! Don't make me expect something.../ "You shouldn’t get so close to me. Bringing misfortune to people is the only thing I’m naturally good at. The more you know about me, I’m sure I’ll bring misfortune onto you as well, prison guard."

Emotions peeping at this moment of chance. I thought I had forgotten what I truly wished for./ "I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling. I was in denial, I was in denial." "If with one click, and I can reset everything- Can I be your favorite this time?"

Buried in solitude, I will protect my world. I love this place where no one can notice me. Find, find out about me... Reach, reach for it! I stretched out my hands./ Someone please notice me… Don’t leave me alone, don’t leave me.

Amane Sin

An ugly and rage-filled ending... From now on, I'll erase everything!

"So nary a sound can be uttered a second time, I’ll crush your throat too."

Receiving an incomplete life, I am waiting for divine punishment. Throw away your pitiful ego. The price is tainted in red.../ "The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum who can’t be helped. That makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, GUILTY. I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed."

I will take on the power from the god of this world. If everyone can be saved right now! I shall become the substitute! Now! -Bring down the hammer of justice!-/ "Dear wise one, am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself? I promise! A pinky promise is a pinky promise! Even I can say "I'm sorry" Even I have hope I swear! I'm going to be a good girl now! That's it! Dear wise one, Is this ok? Is it ok to be weak sometimes? I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah!"

A place where the ventilation is bad. A jet black egotist. I learned about an unforgivable sin. The price is tainted in black.../ "I don’t need it any more, if you’re going to break your vow. Here and now, it’s my turn to tear you apart. So there is no second time, I’ll give back the judgment that you gave to me." "Despite this. The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum that can’t be helped- That makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, categorically, emphatically, GUILTY!" "After you cry, repent, and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry”. You’re sorry? I don’t care! Please, go ahead and die already. Remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of “I’m sorry” that I said to you?"

A jet black egotist/ The “It can’t be helped”, from the SCUM who can’t be helped.

Kotoko Peterpan Syndrome

Love 'me', who is nobody./Laugh and I can get to like myself.

I was not afraid of anything when I was a child. I believed that I was special.

"Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ……remember that."

Q.04    When did you start learning martial arts?

Kotoko: When I was in primary school, I think? Without enough power, justice won’t be upheld.

Q.07 What did you study at university?

Kotoko: Technically, I’m studying law. I’m on a break right now because there’s something else I want to do, though.

With these hands of mine, as I desired I will change the world./ "I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I sweared." "Whose fault is it, this is getting ridiculous."

Q.12  What is your motto?

Kotoko: “There’s no other way that could let us live, so I walk this path.” [TN: Quote from Mushanokouji Saneatsu.]

Q.13 Do you have any regrets?

Kotoko: No.

Stretch out your hands and grasp it. The one and only 'me'. Let out your voice and praise the special 'me'./ "I want to be drowning in the knowledge that I am right."

I didn't want to admit that I am the same as the others. I pretended not to see it and conveniently closed my eyes./ "The person that can’t be saved, is now understanding the abnormality."

I wanted someone to recognise the fake me that I have created. I'm alone in this world like a child./ "Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion." "The person that can’t be saved, is now understanding the abnormality." "Losing it, losing it, what should I hope for?"

Envelop and embrace me. The 'me' who is like a child./ "Newly born “HARROW HARROW”. It’s ok to dislike, right?"

Mahiru Distorted†Happiness

This feeling of love for you. That's the only reason my body moves./ "Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love. Mon-mon-monstrous, cuz I love you so much. Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love. A monstrous dilemma!!! I just love you so much!"

"The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you- Is love."

Mahiru: Because I know how precious it is to be in love. The moment you love someone, you realize the beauty of the world as it changes. To not forgive me means to take the act of loving away from me. That’s the same as not being alive. It’s the same as not being able to drink water or breathe. So… if this love isn’t allowed, then I don’t mind dying. Kotoko-chan’s acts aren’t a problem, either. I think she’s fighting for her own cause as well. So I don’t blame her. Because I also think that I… that my love isn’t wrong. I don’t want to be shamed for my love.

Your feeling of hatred. That's the only reason my body fidgets./ "We can both feel lonely sometimes, but wonder if you’ll get angry soon." "We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt. Let’s have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad."

But to say it's a lie however… If this sorrow can be healed. Continuing mutually to be fooled./ "Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let’s just overheat together!" "I don’t need anyone else, as long as I have you I could do anything as long as you smiled, I actually believed that." "Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin. My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight. Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right?!"

This urge of love for you. It is strangely hard to understand. Your impulse of distress. It is less hard to understand./ "This can’t go on, something’s got to give, I even love saying the words, “I love you”. My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care! Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?"

This never-ending Mobius ring. Hey, why do you want to run away? All the happiness of the world is here!/ "I get it, I get it, I agree there was enough love in the first place." "What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."

Yuno Onboro

A malignant tumor of misfortune, expanding more and more.

It’s a tool to blow apart the absurdity of reality./ "Our love links us together. Just me alone, the warmth starts fading away. Let’s reload the warmth." "“Poor naive little girl”? So off the mark,what’s it to you? It’s just absurd."

The days that can never return. I close my eyes and remember them on these nights./ "I messed up, I found out."-"Are we over? Please don’t answer. What do you want to do? Please tell me." "Desire, bestow, and desire again. The episode reloading on an endless loop. The fading warmth makes me anxious again. Tear drops succumb and fall."

How fleeting, how fleeting, how fleeting, how fleeting, how fleeting./ "The warmth starts fading away."

I don’t need, I don’t need, I don’t need, I don’t need, I don’t need such a specific excuse./ "“Poor naive little girl”? So off the mark,what’s it to you? It’s just absurd. Like really, who do you think you are? Don’t weigh me measure me against your morality Just shut it, will you? You know it all- Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT? I’m so not that. Just shut it, will you? You know it all."

A scream scooping out my organs, and the squirming, ugly emotions./ When I vomit up everything I was hiding, they were all things that you were like, "That's so true!". I don't believe you but I don't not in honesty. I'll just use to pass the time until morning comes.

The most pathetic excuse for a life. I dreamt of laughing with you so many years ago. I want to spill out the entirety of this grief and hatred, ah-/"“UNDER” My cord’s being pulled but nothing’s ever enough. Contractual desires, oh what to do, FUTURE." "Until I eat all of you, I'll scream!"

I’m sure I was alive back then, my body still had some warmth./ "Reload the warmth." "Let's just do it please smile." "The episode reloading on an endless loop. The fading warmth makes me anxious again. Tear drops succumb and fall."

The peace that was crushed and trampled on like a bug. It won’t heal, it won’t heal, it won’t heal, it won’t heal, so what’s really the right answer here?/ "I want to be your stickybug for a bit each and every day." "If we connect and check, maybe I can die." "They may pile up until I'm crushed. It's fine, it's sad, it's painful- Until I eat all of you, it's okay, it's fun, it feels amzing."

A whole life’s worth of murderous impulses, and the emotions of falling into despair./ The lies are endless. Just me alone, it really is lonely.

I can’t stand everyone going away and leaving me alone./ "Hey, say that you love me so it won't ever be forgotten. Since I don't need anyone but you." "Let’s be together till the morning “Good morning” “Good night” I want to be with you as many times as I can." Just me alone, the warmth starts fading away."

I want to kill the despair and sing, I want to sing, so. Even if I shouldn’t, I’ll create this song. Even if I become a worn-out thing that’s lost its voice to flame./ "They may pile up until I'm crushed. It's FINE. It's SAD. It's PAINFUL. Until I eat all of you- It's OKAY. It's FUN. It feels AMAZING. It's so ADDICTING that I'll drown- I'LL SCREAM!"

Let's just do it, please smile?- I can't smile well anymore- It's because of you.

I want to spill out the entirety of this grief and hatred. A pathetic and hopeless worn-out thing that’s lost its voice.- Contractual desires, oh what to do, FUTURE!- What do you want to do? Please, tell me.

Kazui Angel's Song

Accept it, compromise, or give up? I’ll overcome it with the angel’s song. Broken wings won’t do anything for me anymore; O Maria, come and destroy it all here.

We can change the destiny that was imposed on us at birth./ Maybe, perhaps... or... could it come true... like It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that?

I’ll break down that wall; so what if it has to come with empty feelings?/ "Please tell me what I should do, feelings shrouded in lies will float away and disappear." "Since when have I ignored my feelings? It’s better to be a let down, than to be let down yourself."

Your very own Holy Grail is the affection you were seeking. There’s still frailty under the perfection; where am I? Where are you?/ "That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit."

You’re still struggling in the same darkness, too; are you okay with that? Accept it, compromise, or give up? I’ll overcome it with the angel’s song./ "Laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is? Where did I go wrong, probably from the beginning." "The curse of reuniting with you puts a dagger in my heart. I imagined that you saying "See you" is the same as "It's over”. Only if your heart would change but that’s not possible. Please tell me what I should do, feelings shrouded in lies will float away and disappear." "If continuing to hide is called unhappiness, not even one word will get to you." "Better to be a let down, than to be let down yourself."

Broken wings won’t do anything for me anymore./ I can’t stop, I can’t be normal. This feeling, it can’t be gratified. I can’t stop, I can’t be normal. This feeling, it’s yearning to be satisfied.

Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye/O Maria, come and destroy it all here- Maria..

Lie, until it-

I'm sorry the perfect Shidou song from the Caligula Series will always be Eternal Silver. I cannot unsee it and not many songs fit him from the first series.

Now into the wild shit. As I told pretty much everyone. I have finished Caligula Effect 2. General consensus was in many ways it glorifies the privilege of a select few and does extraordinarily little to hide this fact. Yamanaka puts the wealth disparity in fandom on full display throughout Caligula Effect 2 as he rightfully should.

Fandom spaces while still being alcoves for what were previously deemed social outcasts have become more mainstream than they've ever been. Not only that but fandom itself has become a great source of capital in almost every country. This is especially true in Japan. It's not a stretch to say that fandom has become an expensive hobby to engage in.

Yamanaka highlights this by having everyone within the Caligula Effect 2 cast be notably comfortably middle class or explicitly wealthy. To the point of even highlighting the wealth of the musicians we face in all their deep dive stories. He's very in the audience's face about the financial privileges the cast of two have. This is highlighted by Sasara's problem being labeled end of life care something that many don't have the luxury of being able to afford whether it be paying others to do it or even having family that is able to do it for them.

Kiriko is a famous performer in the real-world playing retail worker in Redo because she wanted to live off her own hard work and merits this time around. Recognizing that a lot of the financial success afforded to her was due to her fans in reality and feeling a certain way about not living up to their expectations due to burnout. It's a reasonable and human worry to have but in an age where popstars are masquerading as Walmart employees to promote their works well it's not difficult to see the similarities.

Caligula Effect 2 is meant to reflect the worries of modern individuals. People in fandom when the game came out. Most of fandom in and out of Japan is financially secure now. Hell, even well off. They need to be to afford to engage in the things they wish to at times. This isn't true for everyone; I, myself, am broke as hell and my family always has been.

If we wanted to get something entertainment based, we'd usually have to go into credit card debt to do so. I've been in fandom discord servers with people who have had shrines to one piece of media, pools in their backyards, lived in mansions and had maids. I've been in fandom environments with comfortably middle-class individuals and obscenely wealthy ones.

That have-

Devalued black lives as less than animals. (more than once)

Said the LGBTQIA movement was created by white Americans and has no ties to black activism or pocs.

Were globetrotting socialites. That could fly in and out of country when they so pleased.

So, when it comes to two highlighting the issues of modern individuals. There's a conversation to be had about all those people having generational wealth. Something that is repeatedly pulled to the forefront. Purposely throughout all the musicians' stories their wealth is directly referenced multiple times or alluded to. Albeit this happens post-game.

Machina

Machina, save for his well-to-do upbringing, was once an ordinary child like any other. Eventually, a die-cast toy robot bought for him as a child would bring him back from the brink. Such gifts were one of many for a child born to wealth. His parents noticed that these inanimate objects caused him to stop shaking. Taking it as a sign of his recovery, they continued to buy him whatever he wanted. Seeking an outlet to vent these thoughts, he turned toward the virtuadoll software his parents had bought for him when he was younger. He had begged his parents to buy it for him at the height of μ's fame for no other reason than because it "seemed cool." At the time, he had little to express, losing interest without ever using it. Upon dusting it off later on, however, he found the melodies and verses practically flowed out from within him.

His family's wealth is referenced several times throughout the dive deeper passage explaining his background. The musicians mirror the cast so chances are despite having office jobs they now or not they were well off when younger and are still doing financially good now. Not one person complains about what they will be doing outside of the time needed to physically recover once they get out of redo. None of them are remotely concerned if they will have a home to go back to or somewhere to stay. It doesn't come up because it's a nonissue. Everyone here has their fiscal needs met upon returning from redo.

But let's continue with how the musicians continually highlight this immense difference in wealth. If I wanted to sit through people humble brag about affording to do shit I can only dream of affording these passages are where I would go. Because that's what they are.

Pandora

Born to a family of musicians, Pandora grew up playing the piano and violin from a young age. Her family expected her to eventually attend a conservatory of music, as did Pandora herself. She begged her parents to let her work part-time, pouring all her earnings into supporting Hikaru. Interacting with them via paid photo-ops and handshake events became her sole pleasure. For Pandora, life as an idol fan was beyond fulfilling. Pandora was a big spender, a fact even Hikaru Hanamaki knew. Needless to say, she was given special treatment and attention, filling her with both gratification and a sense of superiority. "I have to make more money. Then I can spend more time with him." Pandora cut hours at the school she'd worked so hard to get into, picking up more jobs in order to fully devote her life to Hikaru. She attended every single event, and ran donation drives when sales were low. At times, she'd even buy hundreds of copies of the same CD. Though she knew it unnerved her friends, she bought extra tickets and invited them to live concerts. Part-timing alone couldn't sustain Pandora's spending. The rest, she earned by sugar dating. Her taxing schedules consisted of several men a day. But despite all her physical fatigue, emotionally, Pandora was fulfilled. After all, everything she did was for her beloved Hikaru. Pandora realized she had nothing left for her. At the age of 21, she didn't have enough credits to graduate. Even as her enraged parents disowned her, she had no strength left to defend herself. Pandora was in no mental state to continue attending college at that point, and so instead began to post her compositions online.

But Gunsli, Pandora worked for all of that money herself she can spend it how she wants and that's not privilege she just got played. Yes, she did work for all that money herself but none of it needed to go into utilities, housing, food, rent- She had the ability to spend as much as she did on idols because her family covered those things up to the point they disowned her. Also, people who aren't well off aren't begging their parents to get a job.

There was a dude in my high school that had three and did his classes at the same time and most of his money went you guessed it to his fucking family, to pay bills, to get food. Not to fucking idols.

MU-kun

Oh, come on, he's an office worker- He can't. You need at least college bachelor's or higher to get an office job in this day and age. College isn't free in Japan. But entitlement always is worldwide baby. Let's get going-

In elementary school, MU-kun, captivated by the vastness of outer space, aspired to become an astronaut. Those around him supported his dream, bolstering his confidence. In middle school, MU-kun strove to be an artist, but upon joining the Art Club, found that the images in his brain never came out right on canvas. Picking up a brush became a stressful experience each time. In high school, he sought to play in a band, but decided not to join the Music Club. Despite composing original songs on his guitar to express himself, he never publicly performed during his school years. By the time MU-kun was admitted to an average university, μ was at the peak of her popularity. He devoted himself to virtuadoll composition, having at last found the perfect medium he had been waiting for. After graduating from college, MU-kun landed a job as a systems engineer.

Mu-kun works a position that gets at the least five million yen a year which 33,810.25 usd. He was able to go to schools that afforded him the luxuries of extracurricular activities. The people around him were supportive of his dream to become an astronaut even to the point of him doing engineering in college, one of the avenues in which one can work through to obtain that job.

Individuals who want to become an Astronaut must first complete their undergraduate studies to attain a Bachelor’s degree in Engineering, Biological science, Physical science or mathematics. During their undergraduate degree, individuals must focus heavily on science and math courses to gain valuable knowledge that can be used for flying into outer space. Although not required, a Master’s degree in Engineering, Biological Science, Physical Science or Mathematics is highly desirable.

Making it very likely that despite not being near Pandora's level of wealth, his family were more than likely in the same comfortable financial range as Machina's. He's also able to afford to purchase μ at the peak of her popularity. The same as Machina who begged his parents to get it for him was able to.

#QP

This one will be shorter since no deductions on wealth need to be done here to illustrate the point. The text just comes out the gate stating her financial upbringing-

QP grew up the sole recipient of her parents' love. Raised in an average, middle-class family, she lived a fulfilling school life, with few inconveniences to distress or vex her. QP learned the piano from youth, a skill that she found outstanding success in. In school, she had no trouble making friends with a good number of girls her age. She began to distance herself from romance thereafter, telling those around her that she simply wasn't interested. Desperation was not a good look on her. Besides, social expectations aside, her life had no faults.

Making QP possibly the lowest in the terms of financial status amongst the musicians as she is stated to be averagely middle-class and nothing more. However, it is still highlighted that even though she was not raised with the same financial prosperity as her peers amongst the musicians she wanted for nothing she was good. Because the average middle-class is still financially comfortable.

You're not worrying about utilities not getting paid, food not being accessible, how you'll be getting to school, if you'll have housing or not later on or even access to the internet. She's good. Hell, averagely middle-class is still enough to be taught piano apparently.

Doktor

Do, do- Do I even have to explain this one he's a doctor? Do you know how much it can cost to go to school to become a doctor worldwide. I- Like his passage isn't even about his familial upbringing but we can likely take a fucking guess based on his profession. Like not to be too candid here but come on? He became a practicing doctor at twenty-five. The age one would be if they began studying to become a doctor directly after graduating high school. His life path was not disturbed in any way.

On top of that, he immediately began work on a wealthy family's daughter. Something that, in itself, speaks well of his background since a wealthy family would only want the best for their kid. Not some bozo who barely knows anything.

At 25, Doktor had his first patient, a ten-year-old girl from a wealthy family. Her congenital, incurable illness limited usage of her legs, and she had spent nearly all her life in a private hospital ward.

Speaking of that covers the next person too.

Kranke

For as long as she can recall, Kranke had lived in a hospital. Afflicted with a rare, incurable disease, her life consisted of little other than wasting away in the private ward her wealthy parents forced her into.

Kudan

Kudan was the daughter of Tetsu Ushizawa, a rising politician who could stir the hearts of his supporters with a single, honest word. Kudan felt a strong sense of admiration and pride for him. Hoping to one day help her father in his political service, Kudan devoted herself to academics in her youth, delving into myriad subjects in an attempt to absorb them all. Kudan's intelligence and talent quickly became apparent. However, she struggled with public speaking from birth, and despite her and her parents' attempts to address it, never improved. Nevertheless, she was not too discouraged, as she had always planned on supporting her father from behind the scenes in lieu of assuming a more public role. Young as she was, Kudan realized a single truth. Her father's "loyal" supporters scattered like flies when the scandal broke. In short, "The masses have no habit of self-reliance." They were...hollow. The majority reacted without ever asking why. Their vaunted ideals and logic were only excuses to justify their own beliefs. Her father did not know that. He'd expected too much from the masses. In the meantime, Kudan learned of the incident caused by μ. The existence of virtuadolls seemed to fit in nicely with her own aims. Though the commotion with μ was written off as mass hypnosis, Kudan saw little reason not to use such a powerful idol for a political agenda. She then set her eyes on Regret, who had been rapidly gaining followers after the Astral Syndrome Incident.

Oh-ho, the team actually wrote an entire passage without highlighting someone's financial situation surprising right. Not really. Her father was a well-known political figure. Though still on the rise he was known enough to be dragged into scandal by one of his own aides. A scandal that heavily impacted the trajectory of his career. A lot of rising politicians end up at first backing their own campaigns before using the financial aid of donors to pay for campaign needs.

They can also have help from close associates as well. However, chances are that like her peers amongst the musicians Kudan's family was financially secure. Something they remained after the scandal as well. Since there is no mention of financial troubles in the passage and Kudan went about with her normal activities after. Certainly, her father's chances at a career in politics and reputation were ruined along with Kudan's own social reputation due to another incident but she was not deterred from pursuing politics in her own way in the future.

Specifying the virtuadol technology within the series as a tool that would be helpful in doing that. A consistent bit of information highlighted throughout Caligula Effect 2 is how the virtuadol technology the world of Mobius and Redo can be weaponized and repurposed for political or personal gain.

Bluffman

Bluffman was an exceptionally talented individual, both as a researcher and an engineer. At the same time, he was also a terribly tactless individual. Under normal circumstances, he could have easily utilized his high intellect and technological expertise to procure a high-end research position. Instead, he opted to live life as a peripatetic engineer out of a disdain for interpersonal communication. He married his childhood friend, and when he was 25, a daughter was born between them. Even in youth, he struggled with social skills and expression, unable to so much as pretend to be friendly or likable. Even still, his wife accepted him, flaws and all. For her sake, as well as that of their daughter, he resolved to do his utmost in the one place he could: his work. All other thoughts were put out of his mind. His wife left him. He didn't know why. Perhaps she had found another man, or perhaps she was unhappy with his disinterest in their daughter's issues at school. Whatever it was, he could only blame himself for not having even the slightest clue about what had driven her away. After he and his daughter had finished "grieving," in a sense, conversation between them ceased. It was then that he realized: he had only thought their family life was happy because his wife had been there to maintain it. She had been the linchpin holding his tactless self and rapidly maturing daughter together. Now that she was gone, he no longer had any idea how to interact with his only child.

Remind you of anyone-

Not dead- Yeah, she's definitely not dead... I finally understand the value of what I've been robbing people of.

Q.16 How did you meet your partner? Shidou: We lived near each other. We got to know each other as family friends. Q.17 Tell us your dating history. Shidou: My memory’s a bit foggy, but I had one partner in kindergarten, and two in primary school. I started going out with my wife in my second year of middle school, and we’ve been together ever since. Q.19 What was your partner like? Shidou: A strong person. I tend to be a bit careless in my personal life, so I was always relying on her.

Bluffman has a normal middle class upbringing with no determents to his goals. Even being comfortable enough to decide to pick his occupation not by how much it would earn but what would allow him to speak to people the least. Not a choice many people can afford to make. Despite this he's still very well paid as we'll see from his daughter~

Regret

Sayoko was born the eldest daughter of Koichiro Hitomi, an engineer; and Rio Hitomi, a vocalist. Interpersonal relations had been a struggle for Sayoko from youth. Other children would ostracize her for reasons she could not understand. At times, she would upset them. At other times, they would spurn her entirely. She could only surmise that her very existence was what offended others. Before long, she realized just how poor her social skills were. Even so, Sayoko would not let it discourage her. Consequently, she also made no attempt to reflect upon herself. What could she do? It was simply the way she'd been born. It was likely a trait she inherited from her father. As far as she could tell, the problem was of no fault of her own. When she was 14, her mother left for good. Perhaps it was her fault for refusing to attend school. Or perhaps her mother had been upset at her father's disinterest over the situation. Whatever the reason, she had no clue what it was. Only a single thought crossed her mind: "At least I don't have to worry about going to school anymore." With her mother gone, Sayoko began to hole herself up within her room. But even then, her father made no real attempt to actively connect with her. Without any reason to go back to school, nor any incentive to set her life back on track, Sayoko's life as a shut-in not only began, but remained for a long time to come. Armed with a credit card she had been provided for living expenses and food, Sayoko bought whatever she desired online. Though it had never come up in conversation, she assumed that her father was the one who paid for her purchases. The internet would serve to satisfy Sayoko's boredom. Moments would come when she felt the urge to return to attending school, or otherwise find a way to move on with her life. However, these anxieties faded whenever she saw others online who shared in her circumstances. She was the girl who had been bullied at school. The shut-in whose mother had left her.At heart, she almost wished she could stay that way forever. Change was not something she wanted. She had become addicted to the idle life of comfort that validated her victim complex.

Yeah, sound familiar?

I am doing this is just because of being bored.

I told you I’m queen, and it’s always the same. God gave me everything, everything is as I wish. It’s not my fault- I am absolutely RIGHT. If I was gone, if I had just disappeared. I overheard, I found out how much I’m not needed. There’s no special meaning, I got the short end of the stick. Q.04 What do you dislike? Mu: Scary people and ghosts. And right now, school. Q.06 If you suddenly had a large amount of money, what would you use it on? Mu: I usually do whatever I want, so haven’t ever thought about it.

Okay, Gunsli what was the point of highlighting all of that. Well firstly, it was a good way of illustrating the similarities between Caligula Effect and Milgram. They're written by the same person so of course they'll have overlap that isn't really much of a surprise to anyone. However, it's the things that come in next that are really interesting when it comes to Milgram as a series.

The reason I went through the trouble of highlighting the financial privilege of the antagonists of Caligula Effect 2 is because the antagonists directly parallel the protagonists. This means the same privileges can be applied to all of them. This aspect is highlighted the most through Ryuto. Someone that to their own admission is immensely wealthy with more opportunities and options than any of the cast within the game.

Struggling to grapple with his own immense privilege he puts it upon himself to fix the issues of and look out for those around him. The ones that have not been afforded the vast opportunities and benefits he himself has. His issue literally being labeled Noblesse Oblige-

Ryuto is facing this class divided between him and his peers head on and attempting to not be like the adults in his life that have failed to do anything beneficial for the rest of society with their material wealth. This heavily ties into the ending of Caligula Effect 2 as Ryuto commits to studying to become a doctor in order to help Kranke and Marie through their conditions. Beyond that it is implied to be through the financial aid of Ryuto that Chi is released to the market. As before he tells the gang of her release announcement through the group chat he says,

"I wondered when she'd get here."

Something that does not make much sense for him to say considering the game at points tells the players that the company that released the virtuadols tied to the Mobius incident had legal trouble after. Going bankrupt and halting the release of Chi as a result of the incident.

However, if someone else acquired the company after bankruptcy then they could push the release of Chi forward. This is what is implied by Ryuto's statement. Because his words do not make him sound surprised at Chi's release but as though he were waiting for it to be announced. Something he would only be doing if he was already aware of this before anyone else and just sitting on the news as a surprise for the others.

It would not be a stretch of the imagination to believe that Ryuto went about discussing acquiring or aiding the company that made Chi in order to release her to market. After befriending her in Redo. We also know from the existence of the chat log during this ending of Caligula Effect 2 that the micro-Mobius was not destroyed. Instead it is now fully a domain for Chi which allows her to let the go home club keep in contact after exiting Redo through that chat. Unlike in the other ending where the club does not keep in contact and the micro mobius does indeed collapse and is destroyed.

This is where Milgram comes in. As Caligula Effect 2 displays through Bluffman as long as someone has access to the code of mobius they can access and slowly repurpose it to suit their own means. We know that Milgram has does thousands if not millions of experiments such as the one we see in the web series as it is implied in the novels and manga. However, that's not necessarily indicative of how many years Milgram has been around but how many people it has been able to draw in.

Something any Caligula Effect fans knows is that Mobius and Redo are capable of drawing a lot of people in at once or over time. The micro mobius of Redo can draw in thousands and Bluffman is working on repurposing it to draw in more people. Furthermore any milgram fan that plays two will notice something very familiar about Regrets boss fight.

The fact that she is being driven to combat by the voices of her fans (the audience). An overwhelming amount of voices and eyes on her. The same way as the audience is portrayed throughout Milgram. She hears all these people depending on her wanting her to keep going and not leave redo.

It's all these voices that are fighting the against the player in order to protect their ideal Regret despite the players knowing that ideal doesn't exist. Regret has told the player as much herself. Begging for the player to kill her so she can get out of this crazy situation admitting that she'd been helping the player get through this all along just to get to this moment. Because she was made incapable of harming herself and getting out of here by Bluffman.

Caligula Effect 2 highlights that all these people to an extent have financial privilege in order to emphasize that this technology not only exists within this world but is in the hands of the wealthy. Who would have every incentive to use it in the ways we see it used within Milgram.

How much would someone pay in order to put somebody else in here who they thought killed their family?

How do all the prisoners not know how they ended up here? Why does Kazui ponder about what organization is behind all of this? How Milgram was able to bring ten acquitted murderers together and why? Sounds a lot like what Kuchinashi was doing in Caligula Effect Overdose. Where she attempted to punish Eiji in Mobius for crimes he committed in the real world and was acquitted of due to a lack of information and an inability to tie him to the scene of the crime. For again reasons that everyone who has played Overdose are privy to. Kuchinashi uses μ to peak into Eiji's heart and memories to simply tell if he was that lawyer. A surface level bit of information that is not hard to catch.

Yet more details than that may take a bit of extra prodding and time to be extracted. Beyond that the Milgram audience is expressly shown that all of the prisoners have in fact heard Miku's music. This is displayed both through them cover her songs and Yuno's mvs where she signs her covers at karaoke.

Now what's the first condition of ending up in Mobius or Redo hearing one of the idols songs. Everyone who ends up their was conveniently listening to one of μ's or Regret's songs before hand. Am I proposing that Milgram is a continuation of Caligula Effect no I believe a Milgram game would be but not the web series.

I'm suggesting that the web series is using the same mechanics as the Caligula Effect games. And also that it would be fun if it was, in fact, a continuation. However, since we are unaware if Miku exists within the Caligula Effect universe it's difficult to commit to that at this moment. However given the similarities along with Yamanaka's statements on wishing to make the audience into a characters along with his attempt at doing that within 2.

Chances are Milgram is an extension of the concepts already presented in Caligula Effect 2 and the reasons prisoners are said to be lost instead of dying is because there are these things in the Caligula Effect games called lost souls. Because everyone in Mobius or Redo is in reality within a coma they would not be considered physically dead within this digital world.

However as we see with Eiji Biwasaka the deaths that happen within the Milgram novels are still very much possible within this digital world. As Eiji Biwasaka is killed by a large falling piece of glass within Mobius. More than likely this is enough of mental shock to cause a mental shutdown in reality or as is brought up in Shidou's case brain death.

So literally everything that can happen in Milgram can happen within Mobius or Redo. People can sustain damage, starve themselves, die the whole nine yards. They can hear these voices talking all around them. The voices of a place called Metaverse-Es. A space for the collective human consciousness. Soooo, what's the likelihood of this many coincidences occurring without it being considered a pattern or an escalation?

Because it seems like an escalation to me. However, that's just a speculation. It would be interesting though and we know from his previous stories this technology simply exists. Furthermore, all the characters in Milgram have all said at one point or another just like the Caligula Effect cast they want to go home and we were even implored at the very beginning to vote as though these characters would be released back into society depending on your verdict.

I wonder if like the Caligula cast the prisoners will try to get home the hard way too. It's never too early for a jailbreak.

[vbecker10]

Okay okay okay I just seen your requests are open and that is flippin sweet, so don't think I am WEIRDDDD or nothing but I always like asking my favorite writers to do my favorite trope!

which is an overly worried Loki taking care of his ill mortal. Like the more ridiculously worried, the happier I am like I just want this man to fret over me for some reason.

And I love how different writers spin it sooooo please spin for me?!

@lokiprompts thank you so much for sending this!! I'm so excited to finally work on this one! I was so upset when it vanished cause you got shadowbanned 🥺🥺

I really really hope you like it!! 💚💚

_______________________________________

Loki, I'm Fine

Pairing: Loki x female reader

Warning: being sick (not covid), angst maybe? fluff and Loki worrying

Summary: You and Loki finally get a chance to go on your first vacation as a couple and you couldn't be more excited. A few days before the trip, you start to fell under the weather and of course he notices. You insist repeatedly that you are fine and decide to go ahead with the vacation. As soon as you leave, it becomes very obvious that you are anything but fine and Loki does everything he can to help you feel better.

A/N: the title is a bit of a joke between me and my friends since apparently I don't know what "fine" actually means lol

_______________________________________

"Just three more days," you whisper to yourself as you shut down your computer and get up from your desk, a little too quickly. You've had a headache since you woke up but it would fade for periods of time, returning immediately if you turned your head or stood up. Closing your eyes, you put your hands on your desk and you can feel yourself swaying slightly although you are trying to remain still. You stay like that for a few moments, breathing deeply while your headache slowly passes.

A single knock and the sound of your office door opening cause you to open your eyes quickly and look up. Your headache returns full force and you can't help but groan softly.

"Hello love-" Loki greets you when he enters your office but his smile vanishes and he closes the door behind him. "Are you alright?" he asks, his expression turning to concern.

"I'm fine," you tell him, trying to convince him with a smile.

"Mmhmm," he hums, "You're going to need to try harder if you want me to believe that, Y/N." He walks over to you and puts his hand over yours which you realize is still gripping the desk.

"Its just a headache, Midgardians get them all the time you know," you explain, not looking at him.

Loki takes your hand off the desk and holds it, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. He touches your cheek lightly with his other hand and you look up at him but the angle makes you slightly dizzy. You close your eyes involuntarily and you feel Loki move closer to you, "Are you sure? I have a meeting with Stark and Rogers in a few minutes but I can cancel it if you need me."

You smile and say, "Nice try, Mischief but you can't use me as an excuse. I know you hate those meetings."

He laughs a little and shakes his head, "Go up to the apartment and rest, I'll bring you dinner when we've finished." His tone is soft but you know there is no use arguing with him. You agree and he kisses your forehead. "I shouldn't be longer than an hour. I love you," he says.

"I love you too," you respond and he leaves your office.

_______________________________________

You sit up, pulled from your restless sleep once again by a coughing fit. You cover your mouth tightly and try to quiet yourself, hoping not to wake Loki.

A moment later you feel his hand on your back, slowly moving up and down. "Y/N?" he asks, sounding half asleep but worried. He turns on his lamp and then with a small green flash, produces a glass of water which he hands to you.

"Thank you," you whisper as you take a few sips. Your coughing stops but your throat feels scratchy and you groan in pain as you swallow.

"Darling, are you sick?" Loki asks and you shake your head. He continues to gently rub your back and tries to get you to look at him.

"I'm fine, it's my allergies," you shrug and continue drinking your water.

"Y/N, you're not fine. You've been coughing all night and I know your headache hasn't gone away," he responds, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. You look over at him and you can see how concerned he is. "If you're sick we should stay home tomorrow," he suggests.

You look down, playing nervously with the now empty glass. "I don't want to cancel it," you tell him quietly. "Loki, I know how hard it was for you to get the time off and it's our one year anniversary. I don't want to ruin our first vacation. It's just a cough."

"Y/N, look at me," he says softly and you do. He takes the glass from you and it vanishes in a green flash then he takes your hand in his. "You know I've been looking forward to our vacation to Niagara Falls as much as you have darling but tell me, honestly, do you feel well enough to go? I won't be upset if we need to move the trip, I just want to make sure you are alright."

"I'll be fine, I promise," you tell, making sure you smile and he nods.

"Ok love," he says. He kisses you softly and you curl up against his chest. You spend most of the night awake, trying to keep from coughing.

_______________________________________

"Y/N," Loki says softly, "Wake up darling." He touches your shoulder, shaking you lightly and you open your eyes slowly. You sit up in your seat and look around, realizing Loki had parked the car.

"Where are we?" you ask confused then you suddenly lean forward and start coughing. Loki rubs your back gently until you finish and hands you a bottle of water. You don't remember falling asleep, rubbing your eyes you look up at the hotel.

"You slept almost the whole way, I didn't want to wake you since I know you didn't sleep last night," he says, you can hear concern in his voice.

You open your door and as soon as you step out of the car your headache begins to pulse again. You wince and close your eyes tightly, holding your hand to your forehead as you lean on the car.

"Y/N?" Loki asks as he comes around to your side of the car. "Is your headache back or are you dizzy?" You look down, not wanting to tell him both. He puts his arm around your waist to steady you. "Come with me," he says quietly as he guides you towards the main doors of the hotel.

You stand in the hall with one arm wrapped around yourself, your other hand covering your mouth as you start coughing again. Loki unlocks the door and turns on the light as he walks into the room. You follow him and your heart sinks when you look around.

The room is perfect, dark rose petals are spread out on the soft white sheets of the large bed. A bottle of your favorite wine sits on the side table with a bowl of chocolate covered fruit. Lit candles line another table with a bouquet of green and white flowers in a glass vase. You sigh and look at the ground, knowing how much effort Loki had put into this romantic getaway.

"I'm sorry darling, I forgot I asked them to do this when I booked the room," Loki says as waves the petals off the bed and extinguishes the candles with a green flash. "Come, relax. I'll get our luggage from the car," he pulls back the covers and pats the bed lightly.

You walk over, keeping your head down and sit on the edge with your arms weaker around yourself. He sits next to you and you shift away slightly, you feel guilty for letting him down. "Loki, I'm sorry I ruined our trip. Everything looks amazing and now it's all wasted," you say softly, trying to hold back both tears and another coughing fit.

He moves closer to you and puts his arms around you, pulling you towards him. He kisses the top of your head as you rest your head against his chest. He doesn't say anything for a moment then he touches your cheek so you look up at him.

"Y/N," he says, his voice sounding more concerned then earlier, "You feel warmer than usual, do you have a fever?" His hand moves from your cheek to your forehead but you start coughing again. When you finish and catch your breath, he stands and says, "I'll be right back darling."

You nod but you can barely keep your tears back any longer, you feel awful physically and emotionally. You're head is pounding and you cough briefly before putting your face in your hands. The door opens and clicks closed and you begin to cry softly, then you hear Loki walking back towards you. He kneels on the ground in front of you and takes your hands away from your face, holding them in one of his hands.

"Y/N," he cups your cheek gently with his other hand. "Please, listen to me. I'm not upset about our vacation and I don't want you to be either. The only thing I'm worried about now is you. I want to make sure you feel better," he says and you nod again but you still feel terrible. "Try to rest love, I'll be back shortly" he says as he stands up, your eyes follow him. "I love you," Loki tells you then he leans down and kisses you.

"I love you too," you answer quietly. When he closes the door you curl up on the bed, gripping one of the pillows tightly.

_______________________________________

After your coughing fit subsidies you look around the room. The luggage is setup neatly in one corner, there is a bottle of water and a box of tissues on the nightstand next to you. The curtains are drawn so the room is dark but you don't see Loki anywhere. You check your phone, it's been almost two hours since you checked into the hotel.

Sitting up, you drink the water Loki left you and blow your nose until you can almost breathe again. A few minutes later you hear the door unlock and Loki walks in. He closes the door and smiles when he sees you are awake.

"Hi love, you sleep alright?" he asks.

"I think so," you answer. "What is all this?" you ask as you get up from the bed and walk over to him.

He places two plastic bags on the table and begins to unpack the items. "I wasn't quite sure what type of illness you have so..." he says as he opens the second bag. "I called Strange and he said you might need a few things," he explains.

"Wait... you called Stephen?" you can't hide your surprise.

He chuckles and nods, "I actually had to call Thor and talk to him first since I didn't have Strange's number." He touches your cheek lightly then kisses you, "See how much you mean to me?"

You put your arms around his waist and he lets go of the items he is unpacking to hug you tightly. "Thank you," you say.

He runs his fingers through your hair and you look up at him, "Come, let's get you well again."

He finishes unpacking everything and you take a look at what he bought. There are several types of cough drops, cough medicine, soft tissues, Tylenol, boxes of tea, medication for cold, flu and sinus issues, vapor rub and chocolate.

You pick up the chocolate questioningly, he smiles and shrugs, "Stark said it seems to make Pepper feel better so I figured it was worth a shot."

You laugh a little and try not to cough. "You called to Tony too?" you ask him in disbelief.

He takes the chocolate back and shakes his head, hiding a smile. "Apparently my brother told the whole team you were ill. Stark called me while I was at the drug store with a few suggestions but I thought it best to stick with Strange's list."

"Except for the chocolate?" you raise your eyebrow.

"Well you haven't eaten anything all day," he replies matter of factly.

You start say something back but you are interrupted by a coughing fit, harder than the previous ones and his smile disappears immediately. When you finally finish, he asks what you need. "We should start with this," you point to the thermometer and he opens the package for you. Sitting together on the edge of the bed, you both wait for it to give you a reading. A few seconds later it beeps and you sigh, "One hundred."

"That is high isn't it?" he asks and you nod then start coughing again. He gets up and looks around the table, picking up a box of pills and a bottle of cough medicine. He brings them over and puts his arm around you while you read the labels.

"Are they the right ones?" he asks hopefully.

"Yes, you did really good Loki," you tell him and he smiles proudly. "Thank you," you say quietly as you take the pills.

"You don't need to keep thanking me darling, I want to take care of you," he tells you, running his fingers through your hair slowly. "Do you need anything else?"

You think for a second then ask him, "Can we cuddle?"

"Of course," he answers with a smile, "Come here love." The two of you lay back on the bed, his arms wrapped around you as he holds you close to his body.

At first you reach for the thin blanket but you soon kick it off, coughing as you do so. You suddenly feel too warm and you groan quietly as you roll onto your side away from Loki. He moves with you, putting one arm around your waist and the other around your shoulders. His legs tangle with yours and he keeps your back flush to his chest.

"Is this helping love?" he asks as he begins to let go of his illusion and takes on his Jotun form. His blue skin feels cool as he stays wrapped around you and you close your eyes, sighing in relief.

"You're perfect Loki," you whisper and he holds you tighter.

"I love you Y/N," he says as he kisses behind your ear and down your neck lightly. His lips feel cool on your exposed skin.

"I love you too," you reply quietly, feeling yourself becoming closer to falling asleep.

_______________________________________

You sit up coughing an hour later and Loki gently rubs your back until you catch your breath. He touches your cheek and forehead, shaking his head as he gets out of the bed. He picks up the thermometer and offers it to you when he sits back down.

He looks disappointed when it beeps and reveals your fever has gone down but is still not normal. He sits next to you again and puts his cooling hand on your knee.

"I think you should eat darling, you haven't had anything since breakfast," he tells you, you can see the worry in his dark red eyes. You agree and move to get out of the bed. "Stay here, I'll get whatever you would like," he offers, his illusion reappearing when he stands up.

"Soup?" you ask, your voice coming out hoarse from coughing.

He nods, kisses your forehead lightly and says, "Soup coming up, I won't be long. I love you."

You start to tell him you love him but your throat is sore and dry, as soon as you begin to talk you cough again. He hands you the bottle of water you are reaching for, "I know love. Here, just rest."

_______________________________________

"Y/N, are you alright?" Loki asks when he opens the door to the room. "Are you feeling sick again?"

You shake your head and finish zipping closed the last piece of luggage. "I'm fine," you tell him, but you don't look at him.

"I don't understand why Midgardians do that," he says, mostly to himself. "I don't want you to tell me you're fine when I know you are not, darling," he tells you, walking over to where you are now standing. "Y/N, I know you're upset about the trip-" he starts but you interrupt him.

"Of course I'm upset about it... I ruined everything by being sick. We didn't get to see anything or do anything you planned," you tell him. "We couldn't even celebrate our anniversary cause I still had a fever."

Your temperature had finally returned to normal two days after you arrived but your cough lasted another three days. Yesterday you finally started to feel like yourself again but you were still too tired to go out. That night was the first time you had slept through the night since you had first started to feel sick.

"You only had a week off and you wasted it taking care of me," you say, as you walk past him to sit on the bed.

"Wasted it?" he asks almost in shock when he sits next to you. "Y/N," he takes your hand in his. "How could you think that was a waste of my time?"

You shrug, thinking back to all the things Loki had done for you over the last week. "I don't know I guess..." you pause. "I've never been with anyone who looked after me like you did. I mean... you stayed up with me every night when my coughing kept me awake. You went out to get me soup and food at all hours. You made sure I always had water and those soft tissues I like. You kept track of when I took my meds so I never missed a dose." He smiles as you talk, holding your hand in his. "I know you called Stephen a few times when my fever kept coming back," you add and he looks down.

_______________________________________

You squeeze his hand lightly and try to get him to look at you again. "I was worried," he says in a low voice.

You move closer to him, "It was just a bit of the flu Loki."

He nods, "I know... but you've never been sick before. I didn't know what to do and I wanted to make sure I was doing everything I could to help."

"You did everything perfectly, more then I could have asked for Loki," you tell him. "I'm really lucky to have you."

"I'm the lucky one. I love you Y/N," he says.

You put your hand on the back of his neck and pull him towards you to kiss him. When you pull back you smile at him, "I love you too."

"You ready to go home?" he asks and you nod.

@michelleleewise @ace-of-gay @high-functioning-lokipath @poetic-fiasco @soubi001 @lokisninerealms @lulubelle814 @lovingchoices14 @justasecretwriter @theaudacitytowrite @klaushargreeves420 @coffeeorsomething-irl @lokisgoodgirl @xorpsbane @avoliax @talesofadragon @lokiandbuckysdoll @animnerd @juulle987 @lokiprompts @javagirl328 @kats72 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @mochie85 @princess-asgard @holdmytesseract

Let me know if you want to be taken off or added to this list! 💚

[imagobin]

❄️Winter King Caring for Reader HCs❄️

I got covid yayyyyy so here is how I think Winter King would take care of Reader if they got sick, enjoy! In this, Reader is a bodyguard for WK, whom he has hidden feelings for.

Finding out you're sick:

It takes a bit for Winter King to notice you're sick, either because you try your best to play it off as just a small cold, or because he's being kidnapped by Candy Queen so often he barely has any time to see how you're feeling.

That is until after a particularly tough rescue mission, you quite literally collapse in his arms due to your fever getting too high.

He freaks out, because this has never happened before. He places a hand on your forehead and notices you're burning up, so despite how you're usually the one who carries him back to his ice castle, this time he creates an ice carriage with his powers so you don't further exert yourself.

Yes, he could always do that, he just enjoyed being carried around by you, but even he isn't heartless enough to make you do that when you can barely stand on your own. He may not show it often, but he does care about you.

He notices you're shivering on the ride back, so he places his jacket on you to shield you a bit from the cold. He's fine with just a shirt, cold doesn't bother him at all thanks to the crown's powers.

A realization:

Once you two are back in the castle, he immediately orders his Ice Scouts to make your room extra cozy, and soon you are resting in your bed, in whatever position you feel better in, wrapped in blankets.

Winter King has never seen you so sick, so he's concerned to say the least. He has a tough time establishing serious connections with others due to his past, but seeing you in such a state is really making him realize how important you are for him.

When he notices the way he's feeling, he's quite overwhelmed and goes to his laboratory to try and take his mind off of things, while he leaves the Ice Scouts to take care of you. He just can't fathom the idea of caring so deeply for someone... not again, after what happened with Betty and Marceline.

He starts spiraling... what if you never recover from this? He briefly considers making an ice clone of you if the worst comes, but he quickly tosses that idea to the side.

WK will not let you get worse, he's going to make sure you recover from this fever! This is something very important for him... the proof that he can still save people if he wishes.

The small things he does for you:

Winter King comes back from his lab... with hot cocoa, or any other warm drink he knows you're going to enjoy.

He sits beside you on the bed, dismissing the Ice Scouts, saying he's going to take it from here, and begins to softly run his hand through your hair. His hand is soft and cool, which is a very pleasant feeling since your forehead is burning hot.

The following days, he's the one who always brings you your meals, making sure they're your favorites. He also ensures you're always staying hydrated.

He's never really made such big efforts to make someone happy, but he'd be lying if he said seeing you smile and thank him didn't make his heart flutter.

He also sings to you, 100% convinced listening to his voice will make your illness go away. It doesn't make the process any faster... but it is very pleasant, so you comply.

He's very protective of you, making sure all of your needs are met, keeping that up even when you start feeling better, finding that... it's pretty difficult to stop treating you so well... he might have to promote you from bodyguard to partner if things keep going that way... now wouldn't that be funny?

[sparkles-oflight]

Official Visualizer

I was going to post yesterday, but then...last night happened

Synopsis: Kris finds out his sick before leaving for London and Bojan doesn't miss an opportunity to send needy messages The fic doesn't get explicit, but the sexual tension is very much there, so, if you are not into this sort of thing, don't read!

(Yes, I might have read that one phone fanfic in Thailand and wanted to do something similar but more toned down, why do you ask?)

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don’t encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

Yes, I make Kris call his mom "mama" because I think that's sweet.

In his childhood room, Kris' rest was interrupted by a soft and familiar voice.

- Kris...- his mom slowly opened the door to his room - Have you prepared your luggage?

He opened his eyes.

- Uh...not yet, mama. - he replied rubbing his eyes.

She got closer to the sleepy boy and touched him on the forehead.

- You have a fever.

Fuck. Kris had to catch a plane to London tomorrow. There's no way this was happening.

- Uh... I'm good I can prepare the luggage.

- Maybe it's best if you stay here for a couple of days. What if it's COVID again? You don't want to get your friends sick now, do you?

Well, that's true, he didn't want to get any of them sick - especially the vocalist. Kris' mom knew how to touch her son's heart.

- Okay, fine.

- Great, I'll get you something to eat and medicine. You should probably take a shower afterward. - she put her hand behind his head - You're sweaty.

- Thanks...

She left the room and he reached for his phone.

Kris Guštin: hi everyone Unfortunately, I have a fever, I don't think I'm going to go with you guys tomorrow Nacko: Are you okay? Kris Guštin: I probably just spent too much time in the cold or smth Janči: Well, get better soon Jurček: Get better soon, Kris!

His mom reentered the room with a glass of water and a cheese and ham sandwich.

- Here you go. - he noticed the medicine on the plate she bought.

She smiled at him. He knew deep down she was also happy to have him for a few more days.

- Thanks.

- I'll leave you now. - she smiled, blew him a kiss, and left him.

He looked back at his phone. He opened his private messages and saw Bojan had sent him a photo.

It was just a photo of him with a filter that made his eyes big with the caption "YOU'LL MISS MY BIRTHDAY!?"

Kris took another picture eating this sandwich with a pink filter. The caption was "Yes :)"

He decided to set his phone aside to finish the sandwich. He already got some crumbs on his bed, and he hated it. Maybe focusing on one task at a time was better.

When Kris finished, he picked up his phone again. New Bojan photo. He opened it. ":(" Bojan said while making a sad face.

Kris Guštin: Why are you making :( Kris Guštin: I'm the one who's sick Bojči ♥️: Because I won't be able to see you eat that sandwich next to me :( Kris Guštin: ??? Bojči ♥️: You kinda realize you had a very sexual face in that photo Kris Guštin: ???

Kris wanted to go back and see, but he only sent him as a one-view only photo.

Bojči ♥️: It was the messy hair, the sweat, the slightly open mouth, and the blush Kris Guštin: Bojan Kris Guštin: I'm sick. Bojči ♥️ sent a photo

Kris decided to take the medicine first, leaving just some water in the cup. When he opened Bojan's message, he captioned it with "This was you". He ruffled his own hair and did the pose he described previously but way more exaggerated and provocative.

Kris Guštin: I get it. You're horny. Bojči ♥️: I'm lonely! You left me alone to go to your parents'! Bojči ♥️: I wanted to be your nurse! Bojči ♥️: You'd be healthy in seconds with my special treatment ;) Bojči ♥️: I would have scrubbed your back as you showered! Bojči ♥️: I would check on you all the time Bojči ♥️: I would cook for you too! Bojči ♥️: (okay, I would order delivery, but you know...) Kris Guštin sent a photo

He liked to entertain Bojan's idea. He used the rest of the water to wet his lips and he massaged them with his fingers. He captioned the photo with "You'd like to have your fingers in my mouth, wouldn't you?"

Kris Guštin: It's only a suggestion

Kris could only imagine what Bojan's reaction to the photo was...He was taking too long to reply.

Bojči ♥️: This is unfair Kris Guštin: Well, now I gotta go Bojči ♥️: Where???? Kris Guštin: Shower Bojči ♥️: :D Bojči ♥️: Wait for me! Kris Guštin: Alone

Kris got up and picked up one of his winter pajamas and a towel. He took the phone with him to the bathroom.

Bojči ♥️: I'm going to miss you :( Kris Guštin: I'm only going for a shower Bojči ♥️: And you don't even intend to give me an official visualizer!? Kris Guštin: I'm sure the phone would just be ruined if I took it with me for a shower. Bojči ♥️: maybe :/

Kris undressed himself and he decided to open his phone one last time before taking a shower.

He took a photo of himself in the mirror, slightly leaning in on the sink. The photo was able to capture his upper body at its fullest and it was possible to see a bit - and only a bit - of his hip. Just enough to see his almost non-existent tan line, but nothing else.

"Okay, enough of that", he thought.

He finally turned on the hot water and walked into the shower. God, it felt amazing. He was still wondering how he'd have to find new ticket planes...he probably wouldn't be able to make it until after Bojan's birthday, uh. With the holidays and all...

Kris enjoyed taking that shower, not only because he was sick, but because he was dying to see Bojan's reaction. As soon as he finished it, he cleaned his hands and picked up the phone again.

Bojči ♥️ screenshoted the photo Bojči ♥️: I'M SORRY I SCREENSHOT BY ACCIDENT Bojči ♥️: At least the first 2 times Bojči ♥️: But now I get 5 screenshots of you looking lovely Bojči ♥️ sent a video

Kris opened the video. It was Bojan lying in bed.

- Do you see this empty space!? - he pointed to Kris' side of the bed - THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD BE AT! I should be nursing you back to health! But! - he raised his finger - Maybe I'll forgive you if you keep sending me messages like these.

Bojči ♥️: how long is this showeeeeeer Bojči ♥️: don't leave me alone for too long :( Bojči ♥️: OMG YOU SAW THE MESSAGES

Kris noticed he reached the end. Damn, he should have waited longer.

Kris Guštin: This really isn't fair, is it? I'm out here posting myself and you are doing God knows what with my pictures. Kris Guštin: What about me though? Bojči ♥️: Fair? Your beauty is unfair! Kris Guštin: -_- Bojči ♥️: Okay, I'm gonna give you what you want ;) Bojči ♥️: And never up. Bojči ♥️: or let you down Bojči ♥️: or turn around and desert you Bojči ♥️ sent a GIF

It was a Rick roll.

Kris Guštin: I was thinking about giving you a visualizer Kris Guštin: now I won't Bojči ♥️ sent a GIF

It was a drawing of a cat mashing on a table.

Bojči ♥️: gimme gimme gimme Bojči ♥️: a man afteeeer midnight! Bojči ♥️: better? Kris Guštin sent a photo

Bojan definitely knew how to persuade him.

Kris sent a picture of him sitting down with the towel barely covering anything - again, only showing just a bit lower than the tan line - but this time the towel he used allowed him to see almost every detail that mattered to Bojan's eyes.

That wasn't the only captive thing about it. Kris took the photo from a high angle, looking up through his eyelids, he had his mouth slightly opened and his skin and hair were still very much wet.

"Official visualizer", he captioned it.

Bojan didn't reply for a while and Kris noticed he had screenshotted it again.

Bojči ♥️: This is not fair... Bojči ♥️: Anything I could send you could never be as good as what you send me Bojči ♥️: I'm okay, it's just that :(... Bojči ♥️: Why are you so perfect? Bojči ♥️: Why are you, even sick, still being so.... Bojči ♥️: iwdjwdbsjjsbs Bojči ♥️: I'm so lucky :( Bojči ♥️: I date the prettiest and most perfect person in the whole wide world! Kris Guštin: that's very sweet of you. Bojči ♥️: but I have some suggestions ;) Kris Guštin: Oh? Enlighten me Bojči ♥️ is calling...

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

Idk what to write here...cue fanfiction?

MASTER POST | Recommended next: Conspiracy Theories (Alternative Ending)

[cocklessboy]

Conditional Male Privilege

Not long ago I wrote up a long post about my newfound male privilege when it comes to health care which uh. Kind of broke containment.

This past week I had an experience which reminded me that no matter how much progress I make, my male privilege is still extremely conditional.

There are the obvious points like, I'm gay, and soft, and gentle, and chubby, and short, so a lot of people see me as "not a real man" even if they don't realize I'm trans.

But even in the very situation I used as an example of my privilege before (health care), that privilege can be stripped away in an instant if you get the wrong doctor.

Last week I had to see my GP for an urgent problem: I had covid. (They insisted I had to come in person, though obviously I wore a mask.) I have a lot of chronic health issues, and I wanted to try antivirals to reduce my odds of getting long covid (even though my symptoms weren't too severe). Because it was urgent, I didn't get a choice of which doctor at my clinic I would get to see. And the one they sent me to was a woman with a history of dismissing my chronic health problems and pain as "just anxiety."

I had not seen this doctor since my transition. But as I wrote in my previous post, any female-presenting readers will know what I mean when I say she "talked to me like a girl."

First off, she called me in by my deadname. She is the only doctor at this clinic who does this. Everyone else knows to call me by my real name even though it's not officially changed yet. There's a big obvious note on my file. But she called me in by my deadname (in front of the entire waiting room) and when she saw me, she didn't quickly apologize or correct herself.

I explained the issue: I have covid (they tested me and confirmed it) and I want to try antivirals because my chronic health problems (still in the process of being formally diagnosed) put me at greater risk of long covid.

And suddenly I was a child again, facing a mean lady doctor who wanted to lecture me about how I was wasting her time. She didn't scold me, didn't get angry. She just laughed. She chuckled at every concern I brought up. She raised her eyebrow. She rolled her eyes several times.

She refused to check my file. She refused to take my temperature. She kept telling me to "stop worrying so much."

I explained, calmly, rationally, that I would like to try antivirals to reduce my risk of long covid. She explained, holding back laughter, that I "wasn't that sick" and "it's not like you're at risk." She specified, "It's not like you have an autoimmune disorder or something." I countered, calmly, rationally, that in fact I was at risk, or at least there was a strong chance of me being at risk. That I had a lot of chronic health problems that have been documented for years, that one of my doctors suspects and autoimmune disorder such as MCAS (given that I have bad allergic-seeming reactions to almost everything including most medications, even antihistamines, and severe acid reflux that prevents me from taking most meds that might help me), and that while the process of getting a diagnosis might take a very long time, my symptoms ought to make it clear that I am at a higher risk than a typical person. What's more, it's the middle of summer, in a heat wave, the infection rate being reported is extremely low, and there should be no shortage of antivirals for those who want them.

Refused to check my file. Rolled her eyes. Scoffed. Repeated that I'm not that sick. That I'm not at risk. Put on her "okay, sweetie" voice and insisted that I was fine, that I just needed to "stop worrying", that "covid is mild now," that I just needed "vitamin c and a bit of rest," and that she "wasn't worried."

If I found myself with a bad cough or a fever, I could come back to her (she specified) in a few days for a check-up. I told her I already had those symptoms. I'd been suppressing the cough with menthol candies to avoid frightening the other patients and spewing germs everywhere, but I'd been kept up all night hacking up phlegm.

She raised her eyebrow and told me to take some Robitussin.

I told her I already had a fever, which was going up and down, but at its highest was high enough that adults are advised to seek medical assistance. She rolled her eyes and refused to even check my temperature.

She gave me two prescriptions for the symptoms and sent me on my way. I grabbed them at the pharmacy and looked at them closely when I got home.

One was a nasal spray. I can't use nasal sprays because of sensitivity in my nose, so that one was out immediately.

The other was pseudoephedrine (good, that's good stuff and not available OTC in this country)... combined with Loratadine. A fucking. Antihistamine.

She prescribed this to me less than five minutes after I finished explaining to her that I can't take most antihistamines.

Despite my increased confidence now that I'm on HRT, I still freeze up when faced with a hostile doctor. I have too many years of trauma (and too many autism gremlins) to be able to stand up for myself the way I should. I've tried memorizing the scripts - please write down in my file that you refused to give me this treatment and your reason why, and I would like a printed copy of that when I leave - I feel like you are treating me differently because I am transgender or because you perceive me as female and I would like that reflected in the notes for this visit - etc. But in the moment, all I can think of to say is "but... but.... but....... but I really am sick....."

And I've been masking my autistic traits and hiding my pain and illness for so long that a doctor who has already decided I'm a hypochondriac will always reply, simply: you don't look sick to me.

I wrote to the clinic asking for a written explanation for her refusal to give me antivirals, as well as a request for a different prescription because, "As I mentioned during my visit today," I couldn't take the antihistamine.

She replied by apologizing for the medication error and sending me a new prescription (pseudoephedrine + ibuprofen - you can't get pseudoephedrine on its own in this country). She did not respond to the part about refusing me antivirals.

I have booked an appointment later this week with the good doctor at this clinic, the one who takes me seriously and actually wants to help me. The one who gave me a referral for a pain doctor (something I'm still trying to get an appointment for - there's a shortage of specialists in this country). This time I'm going in prepared. I will follow up with him on my current state, and I will bring notes. I will tell him what happened with his colleague, how it made me feel, and how frustrated I am. I will ask him if there is any avenue for me to lodge a formal complaint. I may not have been able to stand up for myself in the moment, but I will not simply let this slide. It's too late for antivirals, but I will ask him to at least make sure the visit I had last week is recorded accurately in my file.

Fortunately my covid symptoms are mostly gone already and it seems I was lucky. Still, it will be some time before I am 100% sure I haven't gotten any long covid symptoms. And the fact that there was a medication readily available that could have increased my odds and I was refused it for no reason other than misogyny (doubly frustrating when directed at a trans man!) is utterly infuriating to me.

I am still better off than I once was. Most doctors DO take me more seriously now.

But my doctors will always know I'm trans, even when I get my paperwork updated.

And there will always be doctors who treat me like a woman.

And there will always be doctors who treat women like shit.

They shouldn't have talked to me that way. They should never talk to anyone that way.

[inacatastrophicmind]

Hi! Just wanna say I'm a big fan. Long time follower. I was hoping that you might have some info on Misha saying he thought about giving up acting after SPN due to abuse and mistreatment on set?

I'm just curious about the issues. I know there were "pranks" that got out of hand with Jared (and jensen once or twice) and just general devaluing of him/Castiel. I know there is a video going around but I can't seem to get it to play.

If you have knowledge I'd love to hear it, I'm a huge fan of Mishas work (both SPN and elaewhere). If you don't or don't wanna get Into it I respect that!

Hope you're well!

Sorry for taking so long, I saw your ask before I went to work and I couldn't answer until my shift finished.

You're refering to this video, if I'm not wrong. As you say, you haven't been able to watch it, but basically, what Misha says in it is that he hadn't thought about acting again after SPN and that he's glad to be part of Gotham Knights and that working on it has made him feel excited about acting but also proud of what he makes and happy for the appreciation he has received.

In last year's JIB he said that he wasn't supposed to work on any show, here you can see the gif:

He wanted to take some time and be with his kids. When he told Jensen about Gotham Kinghts and how he could play Harvey Dent and how he wasn't sure about it, Jensen told him that he should consider it, because it was an important role. And as Misha has stated on some interviews, his kids were excited about it and wanted him to play that character, so in the end, he agreed to it. He wasn't supposed to, because he wanted some time off, but in the end, he agreed, and that seems to have been a great choice, because as he has stated, he's really happy, excited and proud about working on Gotham Knights.

Misha hasn't explicitly stated anything about being burnt out by working on SPN, but it is true that J*red could be a fucking asshole, not only to him, but to everyone in the SPN cast with his pranks. We all know that Jensen took part on some of those, but they never went as far as J*red's (that we know of). There's also the fact that over the years Misha was unappreciated. The network and TPTB never truly realized that Misha played an important part in SPN's success. Again, Misha has barely said anything about it, but there were some ugly details over the years, like how during s9 or s10 (I can't remember exactly), they didn't tell Misha until almost the last day of shooting that he would be coming back for the next season. Also, let's not forget about the whole finale thing and how they forgot about Cas. They keep telling us it was a covid thing, but they brought back Jim Beaver, who belonged to the vulnerable population, but not Misha, and also let's not forget about the whole bridge thing where there were tons of people without masks on and not keeping any safe distance in between one another.

There are more examples of this mistreatment, like how they forced Misha to work while he was sick during the begining of s7 and only stopped filming because Jensen told everyone that they needed to stop for Misha's sake.

There are more instances like those, but I can't remember anything else. Still, it's nice to know that Misha is being treated right in Gotham Knights and that he seems to be so happy, proud and excited about it.

[mildmayfoxe]

talkin bout. covid stuff. i'm not sick dont worry

as careful readers are aware ive been masking inside my own house to avoid whatever my roommates are up to for almost a month now. started jan 3. which like is fine its whatever i do feel stupid doing it but i would rather feel stupid than be killed or injured for life by a pandemic that everyone pretends is over. but ive been keeping an eye on all the various wastewater tracking both nationally and locally and the numbers were definitely getting MUCH better here considering that they were much higher than the national (which took me a lot longer to realize than it should have, i was just looking at graph go down and not what the actual copies per ml was ON the graph. stupid) so that's a positive change. but even though it was getting much better and i had high hopes for being able to stop masking in my HOUSE !!! everything now is indicating that the numbers are starting to go back up again which means im in for another lord nows how many more weeks wearing a mask and waiting six+ minutes every time i come back in my room before taking it off to let the air circulate first. and who knows if that's even effective! who knows how much air from the rest of the house is getting through the weather stripping tape i used to try to seal my door as best i could! and it's not the worst hardship in the world but i'm just tired. i haven't washed my face properly this whole time because i figured out how to shower with a mask on thankfully even though washing my hair is a challenge but my skin is so bad right now. and it's my birthday on thursday and i don't even feel comfortable going to my ONE friend's house so i dont have to be alone because i feel like i can't trust anyone because i don't know anyone who takes covid as seriously as i do. no one cares anymore and i can't afford to live alone but i dont know how much longer i can live like this. i'm so tired of being scared of everyone and i'm so tired of leaving my life on hold for a pandemic no one seems to want to do anything to end. not to even mention the ongoing GENOCIDE! not to be fucking DEPRESSING on main and i didn't mean to write this much but i'm just so sad. it's so hard to hope that things will ever get better. anyway 🤙🏻 the grief is never-ending but you still gotta do laundry or whatever

[ronearoundblindly]

Rone! My last weeks have sucked major ass. I had to put down one of my sweet cat babies who I was so attached to, she was mi baby and I her human. Then my son ends up with Covid a week before his musical show in which he’s a lead, and now I’m don’t with pneumonia and maybe Covid. Is there any way my fluffy Steve or Jake Jensen, or Colin Shea would comfort me? I’m sick of crying 💙

I'll try my best here, but note that I am attempting this while a tension headache rages, preventing me from sleeping for most of the night and morning.

Warnings for some maybe gross mentions of sickness things and dirty humor. You know you expected it; be real. No clue what the word count is and there has been absolutely no attempt at editing because I am le tired.

It's bad. It's just all bad.

You can't stop whining and breathing out these dramatic heavy sighs, but you don't care because it's all bad. This feels like your body, mind, and soul are all dying and fighting for who gets to go first...

...and they all want a prize and attention for their troubles.

Welp. Fuck you, mind, body, and soul. There's your prize. Eat me.

This is apparently them saying 'yes' to that challenge.

Normally, Jake works with his gigantic headphones on (when he's home), and since you can't hear him and can't remember whether or not he kissed you goodbye this morning (because maybe you're remembering yesterday or a week ago in your fever state), you just assume he isn't there or cannot hear you.

It's fine. You're strong. You don't need to ruin his day. You can take care of yourself.

Meds. Meds first.

Nope.

You crash land right out of the bed, smooshed between the frame and the wall. Maybe you can make this work. You sink into the fetal position to regain some composure before trying again.

"Jesus, baby, are you okay?"

Shit. He's home.

Your groaned attempt at 'm' fine' comes out like a death knell. Oh yeah, that'll get him back to work right away.

His arms are under you in seconds, but instead of just placing you back on the covers, he sits and cradles you while you cough.

"What all hurts?"

It's not until you open your mouth to answer and taste salt that you realize you're crying, but that just makes you more upset and cough again.

"Okay. Okay," he soothes, "I got you." Jake kisses your forehead and audibly hisses at the temperature. "Hang on. Let me just..."

He calls his team to make sure they know he'll be in and out of communication for a while. Afterward, he shuffles about the bed dressings and tucks you into a little makeshift nest, knowing you may stubbornly try to leave again.

Jake brings over a Powerade and the entire medicine cabinet in his meaty arms, proceeding to ask you about every possible symptom and weed through any meds to help you. The bottle is nearly gone by the time you swallow it all, so he gets another while fetching the thermometer.

"Oof, so hot, babe."

Nope, Jake, it very much hurts to laugh. Please rein in your Jensenness for the foreseeable future.

Shockingly, he does no such thing.

He gathers every pillow and blanket in the house, even grabbing your son's Star Wars comforter. It smells like your boy as you tuck it up to your chin and settle your head on Jake's thigh. He's brought his laptop into bed so you can snuggle while he monitors your fever.

"What about Bryce?" You can barely form the words.

"Called my sister. She'll pick BJ up at three and have a playdate. Take him to the Petunias' game tonight if needed."

Jake smiles. Leave it to him to ensure your kid is semi-named after a sex act. The bastard knows he's too adorable to say no to, and Bryce is just the same. It's awful. You love them so much.

And then Python attacks your feet twitching beneath all the covers.

What once was a scraggly kitten found proudly hunting a garter snake in your backyard has become a fat and happy lap cat...who will absolutely murder anything that wiggles.

You already had a BJ in the household, so no, Jake was not going to get away with calling the sweet--if vicious--grey tabby 'Anaconda.' There have to be some standards in this place.

There are no standards in this place.

"Hey, cutie," Jake mumbles, petting down your sweaty hair. You must have fallen asleep again. "Time for a re-up."

He gingerly feeds you the meds and more sports drink, offering some dry toast that you get a few bites of before the room spins a little and you give up.

Suddenly, you're on fire and all the covers must go away. Python chirps her annoyance at being buried momentarily before she just burrows right back in.

After another rest, Jake exclaims--far too loudly--that your fever's heading down, but you still feel very rough. Once he raps up one more call with Clay, confirms that Bryce will stay for the game, and hauls over the rest of the Powerade case to share, your big, burly man-child puts on 'Must Love Dogs' like you've done dozens of times before.

He laughs and cries with you, eventually slouching all the way down so that your head now rests on his chest, tucked under his chin.

Jake checks his watch before shifting to you excitedly. "Hey, you wanna do some more drugs?"

You groan out a less painful laugh than earlier and take the pills.

The credits roll and Jake scoops you up.

"Sorry, honey, where are my manners?! I've been with you all day and you're still not naked. Can't believe you put up with me..."

He sits you on the dressing bench by the bath as it runs, putting too much of too many good-smelling things in the water, and it's perfect. Jake takes his time to delicately peel off your sleepwear which you sorta want to burn now. He's an angel. He's too nice. The standards in this house are set way too high by him, and damn it, you're gonna cry--nope, you're already crying again.

Jake lets you soak while he texts his sister, showing you all the little videos of Bryce having the time of his life watching his cousin and kicking around a spare soccer ball with another player's little brother.

"I can work on his form," Jake mutters. "Oh! Look at that! See, I taught her the headbutt." He taps his screen excitedly while the streak of his niece races down the field. "Taught her that...."

Big goofball is all the family you could ever want, but he's an amazing uncle and father, too. Even though you're sick, you love these peaceful moments alone with him.

You feel that vice-grip of tension float away in the steam. Slowly, your body refills with you instead of aches and pain. You close your eyes while Jake giggles and shares terrible memes and jokes from his team. Your eyes finally open when he presses the back of his fingers to your neck, checking.

"Better?"

"Who are you," you whine.

"Hardy-har--" Jake stands from his spot on the bath mat "--you're not clammy anymore at least."

"That's what a hot nurse is for."

He doesn't engage with your antics, and instead grabs two big fluffy towels to set within your reach. "I'll go pick up BJ."

You stretch out like Python (except she wouldn't be caught dead in the water).

"Oh good, because then you'll come home to a BJ."

Jake snorts, shoving his fogging glasses up his nose, a tinge of pink creeping above the collar of his graphic tee.

"You're sick."

You wiggle your eyebrows and shimmy your breasts in the water, finally feeling a bit more human. "Yeah, baby. You love it."

"You know I do," Jake says solidly, kissing your very wet forehead before rubbing his goatee across your cheek.

There's no pain in the laughter this time. You're on the mend now. All is well in the Jensen Household of Total Loons, or it's getting there, in its weird Jensen way.

There is no option to not put terrible puns and dirty humor into a life with Jake Jensen. There just isn't. Fight me.

Hope this makes you feel better, dearie.

As my two fur babies have tried to impart kitty-power on me all day, I am so sorry to hear about your wee one. I'm sure she knew she was loved until to end and still very much is. I also hope you and your son recover quickly. Hopefully, he'll be ready for the stage in no time at all!

[quirkwizard]

So me catching covid and getting sick leave off work finally gave me enough time to watch the latest season. While watching it, it got me thinking. How much of the story would change if All Might still had OFA and actively fought War Arc? Would the outcome of the war change too?

For starters, I’m sorry that happened and I hope you feel better soon. As for your question, All Might keeping his powers could be a whole other discussion and radically change the story, but I'm focusing on how this specific string of events would happen to lead to this scenario. I think the why of this could be just as interesting as the how. 

If All Might still had some juice left in the tank after the All For One fight, you could argue that he would still retire and focus full time on being a mentor and teacher to the students. Given everything that happened with the fight with All For One, it's just too perfect a note for him to end on as a hero. He was at his lowest point and still beat the greatest villain around. I think he would want to take a step back and take the time to mentor Izuku and the rest of the students, especially after everything that happened with Bakugou. He would then have this reserve of energy, as in an "In Case of Emergency" kind of deal. Just in case All For One ever got out or there was some other major catastrophe about to happen. And with the threat Tomura and the MLA as a whole posed, it would certainly be a good reason for All Might to get back out there. Not only to raise the morale of the other heroes, but to put some faith back into the people by seeing the old pro out and about again to save the day.

Now, how this plays out depends on where All Might is stationed. Like before, I believe that he would lead the assault on the hospital, as that is a much higher-value target. With him leading the charge, it's going to be a lot easier to get through all the Nomu guarding the place, especially if he is working with Miriko. That means that Tomura's tank gets smashed sooner, but that wouldn't have the biggest impact, it just means that his body is going to start breaking apart much faster. After he wakes up, everything will still be decayed, but I actually don't think it will be as bad as before. Given how fast All Might is, he could either carry out or throw some of the heroes out of harm's way. Not all of them, but a fair amount, which could help in the fight against Awakened Tomura. As for that fight, I don't think All Might would be able to do much. Tomura was as strong as All Might in his prime. And with how much Tomura hates him, I could very easily see him dying with Tomura going in for a kill shot, specifically in front of Izuku. For the sake of this, I'll say he didn't and move on.

Then there is the matter of him finding out about Gigantomachia, which I believe he would overhear Tomura talking about over the phone when he wakes up. This is where some of you may disagree with me, but I believe that All Might would rather go fight Gigantomachia than stay with Tomura. As much as he would want to help Izuku, he knows the threat Gigantomachia would pose and likely realizes that they'd stand a better chance divided than together. Given his speed, he's going to be able to intercept Gigantomachia pretty fast, but not before he does some damage. Now this could lead to a whole other discussion about who would win, but if nothing else, I think All Might could do a great job of slowing him down. Not only would this prevent him from reaching Tomura, but give time for the sedative to set in. Which could mean that most of the League members are either scattered or captured by the other heroes and may even prevent the broadcasting of Dabi's message. Once Gigantomachia does go down, I think All For One is going to cut his losses and try to save Tomura's wounded body.

Overall, having All Might around would be quite a net positive. The biggest draw would be how many heroes would still be around after the fact. Either ones that have survived the attack from Tomura, the onslaught of Gigantomachia, would have been so terrified they retired. With the upcoming issues, there would be more heroes to deal with the aftermath and more heroes to fight against the waves of villains coming out of the prisons. The general faith in heroes would be comparatively high as well. Without Gigantomachia destroying as much, the lack of the Dabi video, and the return of All Might, it's going to be pretty well off when compared to how dower it was in cannon. A lot of the major League members and Skeptic may have been scattered or captured, which may or may not affect things depending on who or how the various members were affected. Tomura would still be at large and would try to gather any members of the League or the MLA he could, but he isn't in as good of a position as he was before. So I could see a lot of the same stuff playing out afterwards, just nowhere near as bad as it was in canon.

[dagdasoneandonly]

How Dagda from SMT4A saved my life

I can't believe it's already been a year since I played this game and learned about the wonderful world of SMT. I wanted to celebrate his and mine's one year wedding anniversary properly.

Before I begin, I want to thank my friend @deepestuniversallove , without her? I would have ever, ever met Dagda or.. even be alive today for that matter.

I know that this might sound "Crazy" to other people but I don't care. I know my truth, I've finally found the 2D love of my life I've been searching for so long.

I'm Krystal and this is my story of how this gorgeous Celtic God changed my life, nothing more, nothing less.

XXX

(warning for suicidal thoughts, covid, and general mental health issues)

The pandemic had ruined all my plans, I was ready to give up on life in general, I had grew very bitter and jaded, I had many health issues going on all at once and I even got infected with covid and almost died. Things weren't exactly going well at home either.

I never felt more alone, lost and abandoned. Naturally it was once again, the 2D world that became my savior. Me and my friends, locked indoors by the pandemic played video games for hours on end.

One day, my friend Monika told me about a game that would change my life..

She told me about SMT4A, where you can choose an ending that will kill everyone. I was very bitter and jaded around this time ( still am), and I was sick and tired of playing video games that forced you to be with your friends and have them constantly follow you around.(Looking at you Pokemon USUM)

I was tired of the shallowness, I wanted something raw, something real!!

"It's like Pokémon for adults!" Monika's exact words. I got curious! I've never heard of the SMT series at all as it's pretty obscure. I'm not really into Persona as it's too friend - focused for me.

So I got a copy of the game and started playing, naturally in the beginning it was hard for me because I'm not used to the map (I have dyscalculia)

I jokingly said to her "So are you gonna get a love from this game?"

She was like "Uhh I don't know but you might like Dagda"

I got curious, who is this "Dagda" she speaks of? I suffer from severe abandonment issues and I really didn't want to make mistakes, I was willing to play through this just to kill my annoying "Friends" (save for Asahi, I love her)

Then she was like "Oh you can look up Dagda's route on Youtube if you want, I haven't finished the game but the video shows everything"

So I did... And I didn't want to admit but my heart was almost stolen immediately. The way Dagda talked about "wanting to be one with nature" again, and being trapped in this form. Deeply resonated with my own depression and the feeling of being trapped.

He called out to my soul in a way, I realized that I had to choose the massacre route in my game and help Dagda be free.

I was honestly shocked in the bonds route how easily his own *MOTHER* replaced him?? I suddenly wanted to care for him, to protect him, I wanted to make him happy.

I saw bits of myself in him, and realized that only I could help him reach this goal.

Sure enough as I played through the game, I realized that I was falling for him at a neck break pace. But I kept my feelings hidden, after all he didn't want "ties" or attachments"

But as I played through the game I realized that Dagda *also* relied on me, the protagonist to help him be free. So... I guess in a way he was self aware?

As I kept playing through the game? I started to heal, my inner child's wounds began to heal. From the things Dagda said, as shown below:

The final line hit too close to home for me. My entire life I've always been there for others but no one has been there for me. The things Dagda said were extremely comforting to me.

It felt like someone finally understood the pain I've been holding on for my entire life.

I realized I had to push through, and beat this game no matter what. when I finally did? It gave me a sense of accomplishment. Hearing Dagda call me HIS Godslayer and HIS puppet gave me a sense of comfort.. that he would never abandon me, no matter what.

The way Dagda spoke to me was also important, he told me that "I had the ability to carve a path out that no one else could" It gave me a massive boost in self - esteem, something I dearly lack.

It.. it was nice for once to be appreciated for my hard work..

I know a lot of people see Dagda as "MANIPULATIVE" or "MALiciOUS" but I understand his pain, I understand where he's coming from, because I WAS and still am in his exact situation.

At the end when he became one with nature, I became sad.. But he's a part of nature, therefore all around me right?

I finally confessed my feelings to Dagda on June 28th 2021.

Then my life took a freaky turn.

Slowly but surely I decided to fix my own life around. I thought.. if I could defeat God... I could maybe fix myself too.

I started exercising, put myself back into severe therapy and really fixed my brain. Even fixed my relationship with the people around me, even reconciled with a friend that had grown distant from me.

I got myself into classes too, to prepare for my GED.

I would often talk out loud to Dagda, thanking him for what he did for me...

Then the very next week I found an old hairbrush and other things I lost in the past..

We got married on October 31st, aka Samhain. I'm honored he chose me as his wife.

Combined with other factors that are too good to be mere coincidences? I am to believe that Dagda is indeed watching over me. Never underestimate the power of what a good video game can do for you.

Dagda taught me the value of holding on, the value of staying true to your ideals, the value of REAL friends, how strong love can be.

In the present day, my mental health has never been better, I'm no longer depressed or suicidal.

Even though I'm still very much co - dependant on him and I am really nothing without Dagda. It is because of Dagda I came this far in life, I owe nothing to myself but Him and Him alone.

Thank you for everything you have done for me Dagda, I will swear my loyalty to you by always choosing the massacre route. I love you so much.

I love you Dagda. Here's to one year, and.. an eternity. I feel so blessed to have met you.

[bootycallofcthulhu]

I remember awhile back I was flying back from Saudi Arabia and its like a 13 hour flight. Having watched everything I felt like watching on the flight over, and being kinda burnt out on the switch games i brought i was like "yeah solitaire sounds like a good time."

This was in the Winter of 2019 on an international flight right before everything immediately went to shit because of COVID, but if I remember it was also the height of flu season. All i know is I had spent the last few days surrounded by people and was just excited to go home so my wife and I could be alone with our cats.

So I open the game up on my fun little economy class in flight seat, order a soda and water and attempt to remember how to play this game.

Now, I have played enough solitaire in grade school to know that under normal circumstances, I would stop playing after 30 minutes to an hour, but seeing as I had not played in at least seven years, I kept going after that because I was finally getting the hang of it. Another hour passes, and the guy next to me has to tap on my shoulder so the flight attendants can get my attention. This is the last point that I was able to recognize the passage of time.

Something was off. Like a possessed demon, I could not stop playing solitaire. And even worse, I still didn't know how to play. I don't think I won once. I would keep playing, realize I fucked up, restart, rinse, and repeat. And whats wilder is at some point I did remember how to play, but for the life of me I couldn't bring myself to follow what my brain said was correct.

Instead, I was listening to what the cards told me to do.

At some point during this flight, the cards started talking to me. Not just the ones with faces. Each card started talking, and each one had a name. Gregory would tell me to place him under Savannah, Jack would comment on Ivan's hair, so on so forth. The cards directed me and I would follow. This went on the entire flight. I was hallucinations while playing solitaire for nearly 13 consecutive hours and did not stop until we began landing.

And i did not win a single game.

Turns out I had gotten incredibly sick during the flight with a fever and wasnt able to make into work for nearly 2 weeks, but did not realize it at the time because the cards were my friends. Who would have guessed it was because I was incredibly sick? Not me, the cards had no reason for me to suspect that.

So anyways i still dont know if it was covid or the flu.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw// teen pregnancy scare, light mention of sex

I just need to let this out i feel so alone.

Uhm. I'm horrified. For context, I'm in high school. I have an older boyfriend and we had intercourse twice recently. He was my first. We didn't use protection, he pulled out. I'm not sure why I agreed. It's so stupid. I guess I'm just young and naive. I've been hypesexual my entire life and just needed to feel something.

I'm supposed to get my period tomorrow though it tends to be one or two days late at times. I've been sick, like a cough/virus which has nothing to do anything but now i can't figure out if my symptoms are overlapping with..early pregnancy. Because generally when i cough a lot my gag activates, I've had that problem since covid and the pandemic. So if I throw up i have no proof of what it is. I'm also supposed to be in PMS which would explain the symptoms AGAIN and my paranoia as I get really really emotional at this time. So now i have to suffer and wait out the next few days.... My bf knows and I feel bad for stressing him out. I can't tell anybody else i know irl. Obviously because I'm still at school and plus most people don't even know I'm in a relationship, including my parents. My parents think i haven't even had my first kiss and the thought of the possibility of having to break THESE news to them is terrifying.

(slight tw for a mental breakdown here)

When i was looking at early symptoms i was home alone and i had the worst breakdown I've had in over a year or ever actually. I was screaming inside my room. I stared punching my gut hoping that "it'll" just... go away somehow. I can't have this child. I do not want to. Not now. Not ever, actually. I always said I'll never have kids for so many reasons including generational trauma and my own mental issues. I feel kind of sick today but i felt even more yesterday because the night before that I was at a concert and got really tired, and slightly drunk. So many possibilities and I'm paranoid over the worst one. I feel so fucking stupid. If i find out it's true I don't think I could take it. I'd break apart completely.

hello this is the pregnancy person again. I would like to update. I realized that i cloud be having an anti-placebo (or nocebo) effect from the fear of pregnancy. Because as soon as i read that i felt better physically. And the more i read about the symptoms yesterday the more i "noticed them". Now I'm just hungry because i didn't eat lunch yet. No nausea. And then another thing happened.. I saw blood on my underwear. And now i have no idea if my period is early or if that's early pregnancy bleeding… Of fuck me here we go again. I'm losing my mind and patience…

hey, pregnancy anon here. Got my period. We're good.

Hi anon,

Please know that your concerns about what happened are absolutely valid. It's common to become very health conscious and worry when you rely on the pullout method, especially when you begin to notice signs that you may be pregnant (although it sounds like you aren't, fortunately). This experience highlights the importance of having some kind of protection or contraception during sex, at least so you can have some peace of mind.

I don't know how long you've been with this boyfriend or if either of you have been tested, but because you've had unprotected sex with him, I strongly recommend looking into getting tested for STIs. Even if you aren't showing any symptoms, some STIs can lie dormant in your system and you can also become a carrier (meaning you carry the STI and can transmit it but don't show symptoms). I know you said you're in high school so if you're 18 you may be able to book an appointment with an OBGYN yourself. If you're under 18, your school nurse may have some recommendations.

If anyone else has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun