#being challenged in this aspect will make him so stressed

[iwonderwh0]

I think it's funny that Connor can adapt to work with pretty much any human team, but if you form a team exclusively of RK800 models, I imagine it to be kind of a mess. All of them would strive to be the leader and would see other Connors as competition and it'll stress the hell out of each of them. No, they'll accomplish anything they ought to accomplish, they'll work as a powerful team together if necessary, but man they'd be so dead serious and uptight about it, they will start overheating just from the stress of a pressure they put on themselves to be the best one.

[incognit0slut]

Sweet agony

After a tragic event, you believed you were unworthy of love. Spencer decided to prove you wrong.

warnings: (MINORS DNI!) fem reader, angst, explicit smut including fingering, unprotected sex

word count: around 3k

a/n: I did a poll the other day about writing angst with a sad or happy ending, most of you wanted a happy one. This is also written for @imagining-in-the-margins New Beginnings writing challenge.

"WHY CAN’T I LOVE YOU?"

The room held its breath as you met his gaze. You observed the glaze in his eyes, the tension in his muscles, and the subtle bobbing of his Adam's apple. The weight of unspoken truth hung heavy in the air, but instead of facing the question, you were surrendering to a different impulse.

Guilt and desire intertwined as you pushed him onto the mattress, letting the chaos in your mind take over. His body yielded to the unexpected force, and for a fleeting moment, you drowned out the unanswered question that lingered like a ghost.

Stress relief. Distraction. No strings attached.

That was what you agreed upon the first time you called him into your hotel room. What went on inside your head that night was a blur. But what stuck with you was the pain—not physical, but a lingering ache that your body still remembered from the way it bled tragically.

Working in law enforcement always came with risks, but being held captive and almost losing your life wasn't something you expected. The memories of the Unsub's touch on your skin, the scar he left behind, continued to churn bile in your throat even months after the tragedy. The repulsive was so strong you needed something else to distract you.

You needed someone else to distract you.

"Don't be gentle," was what you told him after you kissed him for the first time. The shock in his eyes was unmistakable—perhaps it was the rush of you making the move, or maybe it was the unspoken weight in your voice. Questions lingered in his gaze, a curiosity that always surfaced, but you knew how to silence him every time he opened his mouth.

Kiss his neck. Touch his skin. Grind your hips. Tell him how much you want to be ruined.

He hesitated initially, uncertainty clouding his expression, but eventually, he gave in because saying no to you seemed impossible. Despite convincing yourself that he was satisfied with this purely physical arrangement, you couldn't escape the undeniable truth. The hurtful look on his face lingered vividly in your mind after your first night together.

He had reached for you, and you backed away, flinching from his touch. It seemed cruel to deny him in one aspect while satisfying him in another, yet you craved the pain. And despite knowing that using sex as a coping mechanism wasn't the healthiest choice, or how denying his affection hurt him, he still came whenever you called.

He obliged to your needs without fail. He was at your mercy, caught in the complicated web of desire and restraint.

However, tonight was different. You told him to slip into your hotel room around midnight, the usual time you agreed to avoid any prying eyes. He came, as he always did, but there was something distinct in his posture. His eyes carried a deep pain, and when he spoke, you realized you could no longer avoid the inevitable.

"I can't keep doing this," he admitted, his voice breaking when you pulled him towards the bed.

Guilt swept through you but you couldn't stop yourself from throwing your arms around his neck. Instead of offering an explanation, you remained silent, your lips inches away from his.

"Why won't you let me in?"

He looked at you, eyes filled with a mix of longing and confusion, and the next question escaped his lips like a plea.

"Why can't I love you?"

His body yielded to the unexpected force as you pushed him onto the bed, crawling on top of him. The weight of the moment pressed upon your heart, a heavy ache that mirrored the confusion etched on his face. His eyes, wide and stained with tears, bore into yours. You couldn't escape the reflection of your own glistening eyes, tears threatening to betray the emotions you tried to suppress.

Shaking away the tears, you pressed your body against him and shut your eyes until you felt his soft lips against yours. The softest lips, with the most careful movements, had you moaning into the kiss. The softest lips that had you gripping his shirt in desperation. Those soft, soft lips melded seamlessly with your own, creating a sensation that electrified every nerve in your body.

You had never questioned your state of mind, but this feeling right now, as he wrapped his arms around your waist, was too much to handle. It was confusing and consuming your mind how agony could taste so terribly sweet.

As if sensing your internal struggle, he gently eased your body onto the bed next to him, taking it upon himself to undress you. You quietly watched as he slipped you off your clothes, noticing the way his breath quickened when you were completely bare before him, exposed, vulnerable. His eyes swept along your naked body as he settled back beside you.

The moment you felt his fingers brush your inner thigh, your senses went haywire. Every time he touched you, your body came alive with a burning hot desire. Every time his fingers brushed your skin, electricity surged through each limb.

A gasp fell out your lips when his fingers slipped down your slit and ever so slightly you rolled your hips, begging for more without words. He wasted no time, giving you exactly what you needed as his fingers moved up and down your folds, working you up further.

His fingers finally found your clit and you gripped the bedsheets, feeling his touch ease over your delicate areas with care. He started slowly, massaging small circles into your wet flesh and you gave in the pleasure, warmth bursting throughout your body without warning. Your head fell back, thighs clasping around his hand, and you rolled your hips—whimpering, moaning, so breathless all at once.

He then buried his face in your neck and you felt his warm breath against your skin. His lips trailed down to your shoulder, soft and slow, and when his stubbled cheek brushed against your pebbled nipple, you let out another moan. He tipped his head up, swiping his tongue against it before giving it a slick suck.

You couldn't help but bury your hand in his hair at the sensation. He grunted his approval, opening his mouth just a touch wider and drawing your breast into his mouth. He leaned back with a suck, gaze heavy on yours as his tongue swiped across your nipple at the same time two of his fingers slid into your wet cunt.

Your eyes rolled at the back of your head as your legs fell apart even further. This was why you seek him. He could make you forget everything. In his arms, you could forget the weight of your worries, the complexities of your emotions, and the tangled web of desires and regrets that plagued your mind.

You were sure he felt the same way too. Despite the weight of his previous questions, they seemed to fade into the background, his focus shifted entirely to showering you with pleasure. His fingers began to work faster, drawing out every filthy sound from your body. It didn't take long until you couldn't hold back any longer.

His fingers began working in and out of your tightening walls once again just as his tongue flicked over your nipple. Your eyes screw shut until you were seeing white dots behind your lids while he continued to thrusts his fingers inside you. You were uncontrollably shaking as you took one final, deep breath before the pleasure consumed your entire body.

His name hovered on the tip of your tongue. Calling him Spencer felt too intimate, but calling him Reid felt distant, like a stranger's name upon your lips. In the end, you opted for neither, allowing your pleasure to be voiced through the raw intensity of your moan.

His response was immediate. He pulled his fingers away from your drenched heat but continued to work against your clit. The intensity of the moment consumed you, leaving you breathless as he gave you exactly what you wanted, testing your limits until you could hardly take it anymore and pushed his hand away.

When he finally pulled away from your body, a wave of dizziness washed over you, leaving you reeling in the aftermath of your orgasm. His lips lingered on your breast one last time before he slowly sat up. He started to peel off his clothes, piece by piece, each motion deliberate and unhurried. Your eyes flickered at the way his muscles tensed and flexed with each movement.

His physique wasn't exactly muscular, but the hard outlines of his body still captivated you. Your eyes drank in the sight of him, lingering on the way his chest rose and fell with the quickening pace of his breath, before trailing down the soft expanse of his stomach, tracing the tantalizing trail of hair that led further south.

It was right at this moment you would've pushed him onto his back like you always did, reveling in the thrill of being the one in control. Or sometimes you preferred him taking you from behind so he could pull your hair as he fucked you senselessly.

But tonight you were so captivated by him that when he slipped himself between your thighs, you didn't resist. Instead, you welcomed his proximity, the heat of his body melding seamlessly with your own. You also didn't protest when he pushed his cock inside of your heat, stretching you out, because the sensation had you whimpering and you found yourself holding onto his shoulders.

His motions were slow and gentle. He was careful as if he was still scared of doing something wrong even though this wasn’t your first time with him, but he took his time to enjoy the feeling of your walls clenching around him. And suddenly you wanted to submit to him, you gave in to him completely, letting him take over you entirely as he rocked his hips into you over and over.

He then grabbed onto one of your legs and placed it over his shoulder. You gasped as he pushed deeper in this position. He pulled away as he focused on the way his cock slid out of your wet cunt, leaving just the tip around your swollen lips, before thrusting into you again. He exhaled the heaviest breath when you clenched around him so tight that he couldn't help but dig his nails into the soft flesh of your thigh.

Heat flooded every inch of you each time he thrust into you, the tension coiled tighter as you tossed your head back. His eyes trailed between your connected bodies, watching the way his length moved inside you effortlessly with the way your arousal coated him.

"Y-You're so wet," he couldn't help but groan, and you could hear the slick noise as he thrust his cock into your dripping walls over and over again. "God, you feel so good."

His words had you sitting up as you prompted your weight on your elbows, your eyes falling onto the way his cock disappeared inside you. You whimpered when he snapped his hips harshly, burying himself deeper and deeper from each of his thrusts before he picked up his pace. Surges of warmth began to course through you and you couldn't suppress your desperate moans.

And when you could barely stand the pleasure any more, he suddenly pulled your leg off his shoulder before wrapping it around his waist. His other hand found its way to the back of your head, holding you in place while he ruthlessly thrust in and out of you. Your mouth fell open as you were taken aback by his sudden pace, your eyes instinctively glancing over to meet his gaze.

His face hovered close to yours, the beads of sweat glistening against his skin. A furrow creased his brow, and despite the intensity of his movements, there was a raw vulnerability in those warm brown eyes that held you captive, drawing you in with their depth and intensity.

The pleasure and sensation washed over you like a tidal wave, threatening to engulf your senses as his gaze bore into yours. The more he looked at you, the more overwhelming the sensations became, until finally, in a moment of pure ecstasy, his name slipped past your lips for the first time.

"Spencer," you breathed, the sound barely more than a whisper, but he heard you clearly.

His gaze softened as he listened to you. He listened to your body, the way you tightened around his length, the way you moaned and huffed each time he thrust at the right spot. And because your gaze held an intensity he had never seen before, he couldn't help but utter the three words he had been keeping to himself all along.

"I love you," he whispered, the words escaping his lips in a breathless rush.

Warmth spread in your chest and you finally snapped. Your back arched off the bed, nails digging into his arm, and your legs wrapped tight around his waist, taking every long, deep thrust of his cock until a final gasp spilled from your lips.

As the pleasure bubbled and erupted between your legs, surging throughout your entire, trembling body, he quickly began thrusting himself wildly into you. With his fingers gripping the back of your neck, he held you close to him, resting his forehead on yours as he fucked you through the explosion of bliss.

The warmth swelled to reach every limb before your body was coming down from the high, so beyond sensitive you couldn't even form words. He continued to thrust himself into your dripping, spasming walls with wild force before he finally lost control. He huffed out a groan, his brow creasing and his eyes screwing shut. He rocked into your body so deep for the last time, surrounded by your warmth squeezing him as he finally released inside of you.

He gently loosened his grip on you, allowing your body to fall against the bed seconds before he lowered himself beside you. Normally you would tell him to leave and he would quietly slip back into his clothes. But tonight was different.

Now, you both lay on the bed, side by side, watching each other in the dim light of the room. You could sense his desire to reach out and pull you close, but he held himself back, respecting the boundaries you had set. Yet, despite the distance, you could still feel the heat radiating from his body.

There was so much affection in his eyes, it would normally scare you, suffocate you even, but somehow you felt drawn to him. It was as if the barriers you had carefully constructed around your heart were slowly crumbling away, and you found yourself reaching out.

Your fingers traced his jaw, the rough stubble grazing your skin. His breath hitched for a moment as he watched you with a mixture of wonder and longing. Despite the hesitance in your touch, he welcomed your caress, allowing you to explore the contours of his face.

As your eyes met him, you saw a reflection of your own emotions mirrored back at you, and a wave of vulnerability washed over you. The tears welled up in your eyes, glistening with unspoken words and unshed emotions.

"I don't deserve you," you whispered, the words hanging in the air.

Spencer moved on instinct. He reached out to gently wipe away the tears that glistened in your eyes, his touch a soothing tenderness that stirred something deep within you.

"You deserve so much more than you give yourself credit for," he murmured, his voice gentle yet firm. "You deserve everything."

How was he so perfect? How was he able to see the goodness in you when all you could see were your flaws and shortcomings?

As you looked into his eyes, filled with unwavering love and acceptance, you couldn't help but wonder why he continued to stand by your side despite everything. Why was he still here, offering his unwavering support and affection, even when you pushed him away and blamed yourself for the scars that marred your soul?

"Why..." The question lingered on the tip of your tongue, begging to be voiced aloud, but you hesitated, the weight of the words too heavy to bear. "Why do you care about me?"

This time, he closed the distance between you, his arms enveloping you in a comforting embrace and you found yourself leaning into him. "I care about you because you matter to me," he replied. "Because you're worth caring about."

Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over as you struggled to contain the overwhelming emotions that threatened to consume you.

"You deserve all the love in the world, you’re the most deserving person I know," he continued, murmuring against your hair. "I know you’re scared, but you’re not alone in this. You don’t have to be alone.”

A choked sob finally escaped you, the weight of his words hitting you with a force you couldn't grasp. You pushed yourself closer to him, seeking solace in the safety of his arms, letting him pull you even closer as his own voice trembled with raw emotion.

"So let me love you," he whispered, the words a plea and a promise rolled into one. “Please.”

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you finally allowed yourself to release the pent-up emotions that had been building inside you for so long. You cried for the lost time. You cried for him, for the way you had hurt his heart every time he showered you with affection he offered so freely and yet you had struggled to accept.

But most importantly, you cried for yourself, too—for the person you had been before the pain, for the scars that still lingered beneath the surface, and for the glimmer of hope that still burned within you despite everything you had been through.

With a silent nod against his chest, you finally surrendered as you allowed yourself to believe, if only for a moment, that maybe, just maybe, you were worthy of love after all.

.

The prompts I used are along the line of Character learns to navigate their everyday life after a traumatic event, and “You aren't alone in this. None of us are.” They’re kind of altered in this story but I think they have the same depth :)

[momoswifee]

Peaches and a Broken Car

Pairing: Mina x reader

Synopsis: Mina decides to take some time off and when she goes to her parents' house, her car suddenly breaks down leading her to meet Yn.

Warnings: The reader has abandonment issues and tbh I think that's it for now.

w/c: 5558

a/n: I've been working on this for a while now, I'm planning on making this a mini-series? I'm really excited to finally put this out and for you guys to read it! Again, I really appreciate criticism so that I can do better next time, so if you have any, please let me know :) Also big thanks to @cry4mina for their amazing brain that helped me figure out what to do with this story :)

Pt1- Pt2 -

Mina had always loved the art of performing. She found the idea of immersing herself so much in a character that she could be able to portray characters and tell their stories just by using her body language and facial expressions in a certain way fascinating. 

She loved the way she could tell stories of people for thousands of people to see, it was something she was very proud of. However, the fame that came with it was something that she wished was not part of this ordeal. Fame was something that many always wanted to achieve, the idea of being adored by many and of being an idol to others was for some their life dreams. However, Mina never wanted a loud and busy life, she had always preferred the quiet aspect of it. 

After finally finishing filming an adaptation of “All the Lovers in the Night”, which she considered to have been one of her most challenging works, she was on her very much-deserved holiday, which she planned to spend with her parents, who had recently moved to a quiet little town just an hour or so away from the city. 

“...turn left in 300 meters” 

Finally, Mina thought to herself, after hearing the GPS’s directions, showing how close she was to arriving at her parents. 

Suddenly, she hears a clicking sound before the car starts jolting.

What the hell?

Suddenly, the car comes to a halt, letting out a whooshing sound as a small cloud of smoke come out from its hood. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she mutters as she gets out of the car after trying to park it as much to the right as possible. After a minute of silence, she tries to restart the car, in hopes it wakes up.

A glimmer of hope forms inside her as she hears the car slowly start before the familiar clicking starts again, making her turn it off, knowing she wouldn't go anywhere with that car soon.

Fuck

After the failed attempt at restarting the car, she decided to get out and see if she could call for car support so that she could get over this as quickly as possible. As soon as she’s out of the car, she's trying to call for support but soon notices that her battery is running out, making her dial the number as quickly as possible. 

“No no no no no” she mumbles as she watches her phone die. “You have got to be kidding me” she almost screams in exasperation. 

I cannot believe this is happening right when I decide to go on holiday, she thinks to herself sighing. 

After a while of sitting on the hood of her car, taking breaks from trying to restart her car long enough to connect her phone so that it could charge a little bit more to call for assistance, she sees a ball of white fur bark and run towards her. 

“Hi buddy!” she exclaims when the dog adorably walks up to her, pushing his head closer to her tight as if to ask for pets, making her laugh and crouch down giving him her full attention, slightly compensating for all that had happened until that moment. 

“Otis!” Mina hears from the direction the dog had come, assuming the voice as being the owner’s. “You can’t just run off like that.” says the voice, slightly off-breath as it approaches them. 

“It’s fine really!” Mina says, trying to sound reassuring, “He seems like a good boy…” she trails off as she looks up, meeting your gaze. As she looks at you, she feels her shoulders instantly drop, as if every ounce of stress accumulating in her throughout the day had vanished.  

“I’m sorry, he really just ran off as soon as he saw the car here.Is that your car?” you ask her as you leave Otis in her grasp to check it out.

“Uh yeah, I guess it had some engine problems? It never had any problems before, I was not expecting it at all” she answers, still upset at her car breaking down so near her parent's place. 

“If I could, I would totally help you out, but I’m not that good with my hands when it comes to cars,” You tell her sheepishly, “I do have the contact of a mechanic in town who could probably figure this out with no trouble” you add for Mina’s great relief. 

“Really? And do you think they could come today?” she asks with a hopeful tone. 

“Hold on, I’ll give them a call,” You tell her as you take out your phone to quickly call the mechanic. After the short call, you walk back to deliver the news. “It shouldn’t be long before they get here, they said they would come in maybe 20 minutes since it’s not that far.” You explain, making Mina feel like a big weight had been lifted off her shoulders. 

“I don’t even know how to thank you…” Mina says, smiling softly at you, making you laugh. 

“It’s fine, Your car will be in good hands too, don’t worry,” You say, shrugging. “You know…I really wouldn’t feel good with myself leaving you here alone though… would you like to come to the farm while we wait? It’s totally fine if you don’t want to!” you say, quickly adding the last bit, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. 

“I’d really appreciate it.” Mina says, smiling at you relieved, knowing that she’s going home soon.  

As you both walk to your house, you attempt to make small talk to avoid the awkward tension, learning that Mina is going to be spending her holiday time with her parents, in search of peace and quiet. 

After arriving at your place, Mina notices that you live on something alike to a farm, but a little smaller. As you wait by the porch, playing with your dog, Mina has the opportunity to check your little farm out, taking notice of the various fruit trees you had. 

She learns that you had once been a Hockey player in the city but due to a knee injury, you had retired and decided to come back to your hometown to help your parents with their business, eventually leaving it to you. 

After a while, the mechanic finally shows up at your house, with the car already towed, honking to call for your attention, making you smile instantly. 

“Hey pretty!” You say, getting up quickly to greet the person driving the car. Said person getting out quickly as well in time to greet you properly with a hug. “Mina, this is my friend Jeongyeon, she will be taking your car to the shop and give you a ride to your parents since it’s probably on the way.” You explain, detaching yourself from your friend, who gives Mina a small wave to greet her. 

“Well, I hope you have a good rest.” You say, guiding her to the car with Otis on your tail trying to get more pets from his new friend. 

“I’m sure I will.” She says, leaning down to pet Otis for the last time before she leaves.“Thank you for letting me stay here while I waited for the tow.” 

“Of course, it was really nice having you here.” You say, smiling shyly at Mina. 

Honk 

“Hey, love birds! It’s getting dark, we should really get going, so I can drop Mina off and close the shop in time!” Jeongyeon calls from the truck, making you both blush at her nickname. 

As she gets in the truck, she sees you waving goodbye and then remembers she had forgotten to ask you for your number. Before she can get out to ask, the truck is already getting out of your house. 

After a short-ish and quiet drive, she’s finally home. When she opens the door, her parents come rushing to hug her, worried because of the calls that went unanswered by her. After letting them know what had happened, she just went straight to bed, too tired to keep them company for much longer. 

As days go by, Mina has finally begun to feel more and more at ease, more in contact with herself. One day, as she’s preparing lunch, she hears someone knock at the door. 

“Mina, please get the door!” she hears her mom call from outside. 

When she opens the door, she sees a surprising face on the other side. There you stand, carrying a crate with a mix of fruits and vegetables, wearing your hat backward, sporting a small smile on your face. 

“Hi”

“Hi”

“Please come in” Mina hurriedly says, not wanting you to carry such a heavy-looking crate for too long. 

“I didn’t know you were the Myoui’s daughter.” you say as you enter the house and put the crate by the table. 

“Yeah…” she answers, still a bit surprised to see you there 

“I come here once a week to deliver fruit to them since the crate is usually a bit too heavy for your mom to carry” you explain, not wanting to seem like you just like to pop up to people's houses. 

“Thank you for that,” she says, touched by your consideration. “She told me that this week we’d be getting the fruit delivered, but I guess I forgot what day it was coming.”

After an awkward silence from both parts, you finally ask her how her time there has been, if she had her car fixed.  “Oh yeah, thank you! They already have the car ready to get picked up. I’m going this afternoon.” she answers, grateful for the break from the awkwardness. 

You only nod at that and give her a small smile, and you two get awkward again and stay silent for a bit, not knowing what to say. 

“Yn honey hi! Thank you so much for bringing the produce!” The older woman says, going to hug you. 

“Of course, I’m always happy to help!” You tell her with one of the brightest smiles Mina had ever seen, making her instinctively smile as well. 

After exchanging pleasantries, you decide to go back to work. As you’re almost out the door, Mina follows you, not wanting to let you go without asking you for your number.

“Yn! Wait up!” Mina says, following as you’re almost inside your truck. 

“Yeah?” You say, peaking your head out of the car, almost hitting it as you rushed to see what it was that Mina wanted. 

“I uh, I wanted to know if I could get your number?” Mina asks, suddenly shy. 

“Yes! I mean, yeah, sure, of course.” You say, trying to act nonchalant as you quickly hand her your phone.

“Let’s keep in touch, yeah?” Mina says as she hands you the phone, giving you a big gummy smile, making your insides melt. You’re only able to give her a nod, unable to answer her verbally. 

❂

“Did you just giggle?” JIhyo says, barking out a laugh as she sees you staring at your phone after receiving a message from Mina. 

“What are you talking about?” you ask, rolling your eyes. “Did a puck hit you too hard on the head?” you joke, trying to avoid talking about your shameful giggle at a text from a girl you had just met. 

“Hardy har har” she says, rounding the corner and following you as you move through the furniture looking for the renovated table Jihyo had ordered. “You can’t just lie to me, I know you like the palm of my hand! Jeongyeon back me up??” Jihyo says, turning to her friend for support. 

“Hm? Sorry, I was not paying attention at all. Can we speed this along, though? I have a job.” The older one says, putting her phone away as she moves to meet the other girls in the middle of the furniture maze. 

“Who were you texting though” Jihyo insists as she picks up the end of the table to carry it out.

“Oooh was it the girl I picked up from your place?” Jeongyeon joins in, teasingly wiggling her eyebrows at you. 

“A girl?” JIhyo says, almost dropping the table. “Why am I the last one to know about this?”

“There is nothing to know about.” You tell them as you slowly put the table down, ready to put it on Jihyo’s car, ready for her to stop pestering you. “She had trouble with her car a while ago, so she stayed at my place while she waited for Jeongie to pick her up to take the car to the shop. Since she’s staying here for a while, we decided to keep in touch-” you try saying, but are cut off by teasing “ooohs” and whistles from both girls. “Just as friends!” you quickly add, rolling your eyes. 

“You know it would do you some good to get out of the house,” Jeongyeon says, bringing you closer when she sees you trying to get away from their teasing by going back to the shop. 

“I do get out.” You say almost indignantly, making both of them snicker. 

“You getting out of the house to go to work or to go to the farmers market does not count. You don’t even visit some of us in the city as frequently.” Jihyo says, already getting inside the car. “You don’t giggle at texts, you’re a loser, but I’ve never seen you like this. If this girl does that to you, you should give it a try, even if you’ve only known her for a short while. Get to know her.”

You only mumble in agreement, not wanting to commit to something yet. After Jihyo leaves, you try sneaking off into the store, knowing Jeongyeon will still try to talk about what had just happened. 

“Nope, come here.” She says when she sees you slowly backing away, pulling you by the hand to sit on the bench outside your store. “I know this is scary, you don’t like getting close to new people-”

“I do like it-” you start 

“Let me finish,” she says, cutting you off. “It’s good for you. We get together often, but since you came back you’ve been pulling out of social interactions. Mina seems like a sweet girl.” She continues, holding your hand gently. “I’m not saying you have to make a move, you’ve only known the girl for what? Two weeks?” she asks, getting an inconclusive hum from you. “Just get to know her, she told me she’s staying here for vacation when I drove her to her parents. You can make a new friend.” she says, ending her little encouragement speech. 

“You sound like my mom.” You grumble. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment, I love your mom.” She says, patting your head as she gets up. “I'll call you later, ok?” She says, already walking away. 

It’s not that you didn’t want to get to know Mina better, you’d like nothing more. Even after days of texting back and forth, sharing jokes and facts about you, you were still hesitant about letting someone else in. 

You sighed and looked at your phone, still open on the messages app with Mina’s text waiting for your response. 

Do you want to meet tomorrow? I can’t wait to see you again :) 

You smile down at it before finally answering. 

I’d love to. I can’t wait to see you too :)

❂

“This one almost fell off!” Mina says excitedly as she puts the peach inside her basket. 

“Yeah, they’re good to go right now, I’ll probably take them to the market this weekend.” You say, chuckling at her enthusiasm. “You should be careful though, if you pick them out with too much force, some parts that will get spoiled more easily.” 

After your friend's visit, you decided to invite Mina to your house to create a more intimate environment so that you could get to know her better without any stress from people being around. 

"Oh, look at this one! It’s you!" she says laughing, holding one out for you to see. 

You move closer to her, trying to see what she means as she points at the fruit. 

"You know, cuz you're a peach." she says, maybe in an unusual attempt at flirting. After a moment of silence, she turns away from you and goes to another tree to get away from what had just happened. You only stare at her with a dumb smile on your face, completely infatuated by her. 

“Are you flirting with me?” You ask, moving closer with a cheeky smile on your face. 

“Me flirt- flirting? Why would I- No of course not” Mina says, stumbling over her words as she moves further away. 

“Why did you call me a peach, then?” You ask chuckling, finally able to be close to her again. 

“Well because you look like one.” She says shrugging, looking away, not wanting to make eye contact. 

“Yeah, cuz we share oh so many similarities.” You say, tilting your head, trying to look at her. 

“Yeah, both round and red.” she says, shrugging, making you bark out a laugh. 

“You’re saying I’m round and red?” 

“You’re insufferable” she huffs and turning away again, only making you laugh more. 

“You can’t say I’m insufferable, we’ve only known each other for two weeks or so” You exclaim, still laughing. 

“Would it be bad if I was?” Mina finally stops, turning to you, and looking into your eyes. As you look at her, you find yourself unable to form any words, this seeming to be becoming a recurring occurrence now.  

You only shake your head no and move closer to her. You see her tense up as if she had stopped breathing, and unconsciously do the same. As you get closer to her, you’re now able to check ever single detail on her face, every single line, every single mole. 

“It would not be bad at all” You say, almost whispering with your voice shaking, as you adjust the straw hat on her head as it was slowly falling forward. 

“Yn!” you two suddenly hear, making you both hastily make some distance between each other. 

“Mom?” You call out, having recognized the voice, moving towards the sound, taking Mina’s hand in yours to follow you not noticing her almost freezing up at the contact. 

“Hi baby” she enthusiastically says, with open arms ready to engulf you in her arms. She, however, stops mid-way when she sees you holding hands with an unknown girl. “Who is this?” she asks, with a mischievous smile forming on her face. 

As soon as you realize what she’s talking about, you feel your face heat up, realizing that you were holding hands with Mina. Quickly, you let go of her hand, not wanting to make her feel comfortable, too embarrassed to notice the slight look of disappointment that had crossed her face as you did so. “This is Mina, she’s the Myoui’s daughter.” You explain, weekly gesturing to the girl beside you. 

“Well, it’s really nice to meet you!” your mom says, going to hug Mina, surprising her. 

“She’s always like this” you mouth to her when she looks at you for help. 

“Don’t run from me!” You hear as you see Otis speed away from your father, who’s chasing him. 

“Dad, stop pestering Otis.” You say, sighing, going in the direction your dog had run. 

“It’s not pestering, he loves it!” The older man says, before spotting Mina. “And who is this?” he says with a curious gaze and a little smile playing on his lips.

“This is the Myoui’s kid.” Your mom says, introducing her, and instead of a warm hug, he instead offers a warm smile, one too similar to yours. After a bit of short talk, and your parents wanting to start sharing stories about how you were as a child, you volunteered to walk Mina home. 

“They seem fun” Mina says as she walks by your side. 

“They’re pests.” You say fondly, not being able to contain your smile. 

“I’m glad we could do this today…” Mina says, sneaking glances at you, catching you doing the same from time to time. 

“It was really fun, yeah.” You say with a smile. Out of nowhere, a gust of wind hits you both and sends Mina’s hat into the field. “I’ll pick it up don’t worry.” You assure her, trying to chase it. 

“You don’t have to!” She calls after you, going after you. 

“I want to, stay there, I’ll be back in a minute.” 

After no longer than 5 minutes, she hears a thud and a groan, making her look your way, only to see you holding her hat looking quite disheveled, with furrowed eyebrows grumbling. 

“What happened?” she asks worried, seeing small tears on your pants.  

“I didn’t see the roots” You mumble, dusting yourself off with your free hand, before offering her a beaming smile. “I got your hat though! Here, let me put it on,” you say, dusting it off of any dust it might have before adjusting it on Mina’s hair again. “There.” You say, smiling, finding yourself in the same position you both had been in before your parents had come home. 

“Thanks” Mina mumbles, looking away, not attempting to make eye contact. 

As you both continued your walk, you could feel your fingers brush hers, making your face erupt in flames. You decided to look at her, sneakily and found yourself breath taken. It wasn’t just her shy smile that had your knees trembling, but also the light coming between the trees and how they hit her skin, how her eyes gained a new shine as she watched the birds chirping above you. You would never admit this out loud, at least not to her, but even though you had only known her for such a short period of time, you were absolutely smitten. 

“We should do this again,” Mina says as she steps on her parent’s porch. “I had fun.”

“Yeah.” You manage to get out, fiddling your fingers. “I’ll text you?” you ask, receiving a nod. “Yeah, I’d like that.” she says, getting closer to you. Before you can process it, Mina kissed your cheek and was already inside the house. 

❂

“We've actually been hanging out a lot, even if she's working too. Last Tuesday she took me to the lake, we spent the whole day there. But now she won't even answer my texts” Mina sighs, not knowing what to do.

“Well you've already tried talking to her, I'm honestly not sure what else you can do.” Sana, her friend, says through the phone. 

“Well, yes, but I actually thought things were going well.” The girl continues, pacing around. 

She knew that she couldn’t expect anything romantic out of this relationship, at least not at that moment, but she did think that your relationship was progressing in that direction, and she was happy about it, there didn’t seem to be any problems until you suddenly stopped answering her texts and only came by her parents place when she wasn’t there. 

“I’m not sure what to tell you, honey, I wish I could offer you more words of comfort, but it seems like this all came out of the blue so…” The older girl says. 

After a long talk, Mina decides to come down, only to see a very familiar crate full of veggies and fruit sitting at the table. She realizes then that Yn had come over to deliver the produce as usual, managing to avoid her again. 

“Mina hi! What can I do for you?” Jeongyeon says as she gets out from under the car she had been fixing, oil stains all over her. “Is your car giving you trouble?”

“Not the car, no.” Mina answers with a dry chuckle, looking around.

“What happened?” Jeongyeon asks, cleaning her hands, and guiding Mina to her office so that they could talk more freely. 

“I just…” she started, frustration settling in. “Is Yn alright? Has anything happened? Was it something I did?” Mina ends up asking, rapidly. 

“Hey no what?” Jeongyeon says, holding her arms, trying to calm her down. “It’s not you, ok? You did nothing wrong.” She says, trying to reassure her. “Yn has a complicated relationship with people. Has she told you about her retirement?” She asks getting up, getting a cup of water, and giving it to Mina, but only getting a negative nod as a response to her question. 

“I’m not sure whether it’s my place to tell you about all the details, that’s something Yn should tell you if she thinks she wants to. She had it pretty rough with her team after her injury, it hit her pretty hard.” Jeongyeon says, sighing after remembering how everything had impacted her friend. “After her injury, some people on the team started blaming her, people that were supposed to have her back, people that Yn trusted a lot. After that, she got too much in her head and started self-isolating. Those people leaving her, blaming her, made her start to think that others would do that too.” She ends, frustration lacing itself into her tone. 

“I didn’t know…” Mina says, almost in a whisper. “That must have been tough.” 

“It was, she has been trying to get out more and get better, but you know how these things are…” Jeongyeon says, searching for understanding in Mina’s eyes. “I know it doesn’t excuse her keeping you in the dark, but I hope it at least explains it.” 

“It does, but I still want to try and talk to her.” Mina says, getting up, ready to see if you were at your shop. 

“Yeah, but if you want to try today, you won’t have any luck. She went to the city, she’s hanging out with a friend.” Jeongyeon says, guiding Mina out, almost apologetic. 

“I’ll see if I can catch her at the market then.” Mina decides, gaining a nod from Yn’s friend. 

As Mina walks home with this new information she starts to understand why you had done what you did, however, she can’t help that she felt hurt by those actions. She decided that she had to confront you, to ease her mind and also in turn ease yours.

A couple of days later, her mom had decided to go to the market so Mina took that opportunity to go see you. When they arrive, they see you at your stand with your dad and waste no time to go over there. 

“...yes, Yn only started producing this type of tomato this year, but I really like them, especially in salads, they really bring out the taste…” says your father, engrossed in his tomato talk with a possible customer. “Mina! Hi!” He suddenly exclaims as he notices her presence. “I haven’t seen you in a while, have you been enjoying your time off?” He asks, after making sure the other customer did leave with the tomatoes he was so enthusiastic about. 

“It’s been great yeah!” Mina answers him with a tight smile, more focused on Yn and how she’s suddenly checking every single peach on the stand for defects. 

“she’s really been able to relax more, she works too hard”

“Do you come here often?” comes out of Mina’s mouth before she can stop herself, feeling silly since she is literally at her stand. There is a small victory since a small smile shapes itself on your lips unintentionally. 

“Yeah…” you say, not wanting to prolong this conversation, too scared of where this might go. 

“How have you been?” Mina tries again, not feeling deterred. 

“Eh I’ve been alright.” You say, offering her a small smile, but looking away almost instantly. 

“Are you not going to ask how I’ve been?” Mina says, trying to meet your eyes, finding them guilt-ridden. “Well, I haven’t been that great. My friend, or at least someone I thought was my friend, stopped talking to me and has been avoiding me. I’m not sure if she’s doing it because of anything I did, but she won’t even answer my texts so I can’t really know.” Mina finally lets out, unthinkingly letting out her frustrations on the situation as well. 

“No! No. I- It was not you, it was all me. I get too inside my head and end up pushing people away. This is no excuse, especially since I’m not even explaining it well, but I am still sorry Mina.” You quickly say as you fiddle with your fingers. 

“You know, I wouldn’t have left.” She says, after a silent moment. “I texted a lot, I would think that that was an indicator right?” she says chuckling trying to lighten the mood, making you smile slightly relieved. “You do have to make it up to me…”

“I’ll do my very best,” you tell her, now smiling more openly. 

❂

As time progresses, you two end up making up, and you start visiting the city more because of Mina since she had returned to work. 

Knock Knock Knock

“Coming!” Mina yells from the kitchen, hurriedly going to the door, not knowing who could be at such a late hour. Once she opens the door, she is pleasantly surprised to see you there holding a bag of takeout with one of your big smiles on your face. 

“Hi” you say, already going inside, not wanting to stay out in the cold. “I brought take out from that place down the road.” You explain, already going to the kitchen with a familiarity Mina hadn’t noticed until now, but still a welcome one. As you both ate, Mina started realizing that the silly infatuation she had felt over the summer had evolved into a full-grown crush, and suddenly she didn’t know how to act. 

“Do you want to watch a movie after?” You ask her with a mouthful, which was honestly disgusting, but for Mina, who found herself realizing that she was unbelievably down bad for you, it was somewhat endearing. 

“You’re so gross.” She says, with no sentiment behind it,  a love-sick grin starting to spread on her face. “You choose, I’m cleaning up the dishes.” She says, getting up quickly not wanting you to see her smile like that. 

Once she returns to the living room, she finds you already sprawled comfortably on the couch with Spider-Man on the screen waiting for her to press play. Once you were both comfortably watching the movie play, you decided to explain to her little details that could help her better understand the plot and the reasons behind some behaviours of certain characters, and even though she had tried so hard to pay attention to those details, the only things she could focus on were how your eyes lit up, how you knew all about this fictional universe and how invested you were in it. 

“...and that’s why-What?” You ask, finally noticing her unnerving stare. 

“You’re such a nerd,” she says softly, her voice filled with adoration, making you flush under her gaze. “Tell me more about it.”

“Do you actually want to know?” You ask her, laughing, knowing she was probably not paying any attention to your side information. 

“I like listening to you talk.” She shrugs. “It’s cute. I might have to try and get a Marvel contract, maybe then you’ll talk about as me as passionately as you talk about Peter Parker.” She says, inching closer to you, with a teasing smile, and at that moment you thank everything divine for not being too close to her, or else she would’ve felt the heat emanating from you, from how flushed you were starting to get because of this banter of hers. 

“Do you think I’d make a good spider woman? Hm?” Mina says, feeling more confident after looking at your state, already so close, she could see your chest rising rapidly. “I’d let you try out the iconic upside-down kiss…” she finalizes, feeling a surge of confidence she normally didn’t feel, as she gently turned your face towards hers, getting closer and closer, already being able to feel your ragged breath mixing with hers. 

“Mina…” You breathlessly whisper, following her lead, your mouth opening slightly, not being able to stop your eyes from following her every move.

She only hums in response, tilting her head slightly to kiss you gently on the cheek, lips so soft you could’ve missed them. Instead of stopping there, she starts to slowly trail little kisses in your mouth’s direction. As she’s almost there, her eyes find yours as if asking for permission. You don’t even try and answer verbally, knowing full well you would not be able to do so, instead, you just let your hand go to her nape and gently bring her closer to you, letting your lips finally meet in a soft kiss. As you try to deepen the kiss, you feel her smile against your lips, making it impossible to do so. 

“What are you smiling about?” You ask, still impossibly closer, lips almost touching, not even wanting to think about putting some distance in between both of you. 

“Nothing” she simply says, pulling you in for another kiss, sharing the same thought of not wanting to be apart from you a minute longer. 

[helen-with-an-a]

Anxiety pt 2

Hiiiii. So I've had a few requests for a 2nd part to Anxiety. I'm not quite sure I like the end but I think I like it overall, if that makes sense. I'm slowly working my way through my inbox, so if you have any requests, please send them through. This is inspired by the video from the Everton match where Jonas may or may not have pushed Viv (I think we all know the video).

Thank you for all the support from everyone. It's been lovely to see it <3

AWFC x Reader ; Viv Miedema x Reader (platonic)

Description: Jonas gets into it with R

TW: Jonas; Discussions of anxiety

Word Count: 2.4k

Since you had begun to open up to Viv about your struggles, life was... easier? You think it was easier. It was definitely easier not to have to pretend you were fine all the time. Allowing yourself to lean on people, even just a little bit, lifted a significant weight off your shoulders. However, the prospect of embracing open and honest conversations was a daunting challenge. You had never relied on anyone before and making that shift required a significant adjustment.

Before Viv, you had mastered the art of hiding. You had become adept at concealing your trembling hands when a comment struck you the wrong way. You had learned to regulate your breathing in isolation whenever you faced a question that made your heart race. These coping mechanisms had become so ingrained in your identity that letting them go felt like losing a part of yourself. Your silent panic had been a defining aspect of who you were, and now … without it … you found yourself questioning your very identity.

Despite the unease, everything seemed better now that Viv had been deemed fit to return to training. Her steady gaze and quiet encouragement had become a source of comfort. Under her guidance, you were slowly becoming more open. The walls you had built around yourself were beginning to crumble, brick by brick. You still shied away from the larger personalities within the squad – Kyra and Katie were particularly intimidating for you. Their boldness and confidence seemed to highlight your own insecurities. However, you were finding comfort in smaller, one-on-one interactions. Gentle conversations with Kim provided a safe space for you to turn. Standing next to Lotte offered a level of protection, she happily took the conversation away from you, yet let you speak whenever you felt brave enough. Viv never pushed too hard, understanding that your journey was a delicate one. You found yourself being bolder whenever she was around, even going so far as to joke around with Leah and Beth.

There were still moments of struggle, of course. There were times when the old habits of hiding, and self-reliance reasserted themselves. But now, there was a difference. Now, you had someone to turn to, someone who understood.

Everything was going well. You were more confident in your play – stepping onto the pitch didn't make you feel like you were suffering a heart attack, although you still felt sick at the thought of starting. Your training was improving, too; you no longer panicked at every interaction or overthought a small comment made by a teammate. The tension was a constant presence, affecting everyone's performance and morale.

It was an open secret that Jonas was… temperamental at best. It was something you grew to learn incredibly quickly. One moment, he was speaking normally, and the next, you were being shouted at in front of your work colleagues and friends – often leaving you with whiplash if you weren't on the receiving end and shaking in your boots if you were. His unpredictable nature added a layer of anxiety to an already stressful environment. The fear of his sudden outbursts kept you on edge, making it difficult to fully relax and enjoy the ball at your feet. You knew Viv was growing more concerned. With every flinch or wary look, she threw daggers at Jonas, even going so far as to say something to him. It wasn't without consequence either; if someone spoke to him, in public or private, they would often find themselves out of the Starting XI or not utilised as a sub the next game.

It was the Everton match where things came to a head. Tensions had been high for weeks now, especially since Viv's return to matchday fitness. You had been promised some game time. It was supposed to be an easy win, and you had been assured more than your usual 15 minutes. As the match approached, the anticipation and anxiety built up. You could feel the familiar weight on your chest. In, two, three … out, two three. Nice and slow.

"Ademen, lieverd." Viv's hand came to rest on your shoulder. You nodded, your hand reaching out to find hers. Her touch was comforting, a steady anchor that helped calm your racing heart. She squeezed your hand gently, nodding and smiling her reassurance, her eyes conveying her belief in you.

The locker room was a flurry of activity, teammates bustling about, lacing up boots, adjusting shin guards, and sharing last-minute strategies. The noise level rose and fell in waves, punctuated by bursts of nervous laughter and snippets of conversation. Amidst this controlled chaos, Viv's presence was like a lighthouse in the storm. Her quiet confidence was infectious as she drew you in for a final hug.

As the team filed out onto the pitch, the roar of the crowd hit you like a wall of sound. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. The energy of the stadium was palpable, the anticipation almost tangible. You and Viv made your way to the bench, settling in and preparing to watch the game unfold.

From the sidelines, you could see the intensity of the match from the very start. Everton was playing with unexpected energy, turning what was supposed to be an easy win into struggle for the full 3 points. The tension was so thick you could almost taste it, and Jonas's voice cut through the air with sharp commands and criticisms. His temperamental nature added to the pressure, and you could sense the unease among your teammates. Despite the mounting anxiety, you tried to focus on the game. Viv's steady presence beside you was a constant source of comfort, but it was a struggle to keep your nerves in check. As the match wore on, you knew your moment was approaching. You glanced at the clock, your heart rate quickening with each passing minute, the sound of it pounding in your ears.

Finally, the call came. You stood up, shaking out your limbs and taking a few deep breaths. Viv gave you a reassuring nod, her eyes full of support. "You've got this," she whispered. You nodded and stepped out to start your warmup. The repetitive movements are a familiar source of comfort. You were waiting by the 4th Official, completing your final pre-match rituals, shaking your arms and taking a few deep breaths. Jonas was next to you. You weren't entirely comfortable with how close he was or the hand resting lightly on your shoulder, but you would be moving soon enough.

You waited.

… And waited.

You looked to the 4th Official; two chances for you to step onto the pitch had passed. Had she forgotten about you?

"Umm…" you piped out, blinking as she dismissed you slightly. You turned to Jonas. "Uhh," you repeated.

"Sit down." He all but shouted at you. You stepped back, stumbling into the 4th Official.

"Sorry, sorry," you whispered.

The sting of Jonas's dismissal hit hard, your confidence wavering. You glanced at Viv, who was watching with a worried expression. The familiar weight of anxiety began to press down on you again, but you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. Viv's eyes remained on you, a silent source of encouragement. You couldn't move. Your muscles had locked, and your mind raced. What did he mean 'sit down'? Were you not supposed to be subbing on?

"Did you hear me? Sit. Down!" He was definitely shouting now. You clearly weren't moving quickly enough for him, as the hand on your shoulder roughly pushed you towards the bench.

You didn't really see much of what happened next. But you saw it later when the video got released on Twitter.

The camera had been trained on you, clearly anticipating your substitution. You looked absolutely terrified, but that was a normal expression for you to have during a game. In the video, you can see you look up to the official standing next to you before you turn to Jonas for answers. Thankfully, they were too far away to pick up the audio, but you could distinctly see your step back, Jonas’s angry face and the rough shove.

Viv was next to you in a flash. One arm pulled you into her side, and her other hand flailed wildly. Her lips moved too fast to see the actual words, but it was clear she was furious.

The events following that moment were a blur. You remembered Jonas's face contorting with rage, his voice rising above the din of the stadium. Teammates turning to look, confusion and concern etched on their faces. You could see the girls on the bench exchanging glances, their brows furrowed. You were shaking, confused about what was happening around you while trying to get back to the bench. Viv stood firm, though, her anger matching his, not backing down. You felt her hand grip the top of your arm slightly, grounding you, giving you a focal point amidst the chaos. Her other hand gestured animatedly as she argued with Jonas, her voice cutting through the noise. You couldn't make out her words, but her tone was unmistakable.

Jonas finally stormed off, his arms flinging in the air as he moved past you both, leaving you feeling raw and exposed. You could feel the weight of everyone's eyes on you, the unspoken questions hanging in the air. Viv stayed close, her presence a comforting barrier against the outside world. She guided you back to the bench, her arm still wrapped around your shoulders.

As you sat down, the adrenaline began to wear off, leaving you feeling drained and shaky. Viv sat beside you, her hand still on your shoulder. She didn't say anything, just stayed with you, her fingers rubbing soft circles into your skin. The game continued, but your mind was elsewhere. The roar of the crowd, the calls of the players, and the commentary from the coaches all blended into a distant hum. You focused on your breathing, trying to regain some form of calm. In, two, three... out, two, three. Nice and slow. Viv's hand on your shoulder rose and fell with your breaths, a comforting rhythm. In, two, three... out, two, three. You could breathe better, but every exhale was jumpy, the exhale coming out short and staccato

You didn't really notice the full-time whistle or Viv disappearing from your side. You didn't register Lotte, guiding you back to the lockers. It wasn't until you were placed in the cubby, a too-big jumper being tugged over your head, that you became aware of your surroundings. You blinked slowly, looking up at Lotte.

"Hey, you back with us?" She asked gently.

"Sorry," you looked away, ashamed of your previous panic.

"No, no, no. Do not apologise, especially not for anxiety." You nodded, not believing what she was saying. You always felt like you needed to apologise for your nervousness, particularly when you were helped through it by someone else – something about relying on them to guide you always sat a little funny. You should be able to do this yourself. You shouldn't have to rely on someone to do it for you.

"What happened anyway?" Lotte asked gently. She had been on the pitch at the time, but she had seen the commotion from where she was standing.

"I don't know," you answered honestly. "He told me to go warm up, so I did. And then I was standing by the Official, ready to go on, but nothing was happening. I … I just asked what was going on. I promise I didn't do anything." You began to panic again. Was it your fault? You didn't really know. One moment, everything was fine, and the next, you were being shouted at and pushed away. "I'm sorry, it didn't do anything. I promise." You were crying now, your body shaking as you rushed out your apologies.

"Oh, honey," she said, pushing her arms around you in an awkward hug.

When you didn't calm down after a few minutes, like Lotte and the girls around you expected, they also began to panic a little. Your usual support system, Kim and Viv, weren't back yet. Lotte looked around helplessly, hoping someone would know what to do. The other girls exchanged worried glances, unsure of how to help you.

"It's okay, just breathe," Lotte whispered, trying to soothe you. She rubbed your back in slow circles, but you were still shaking, tears streaming down your face.

Finally, Katie stepped forward, her voice firm but kind. "Hey, listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong, okay? This is on him. Not you."

You looked up at her, eyes red and puffy. "But I… I just—"

"No buts," Katie interrupted gently. "We've all been there. It's tough, but it's not on you. We're a team; we look out for each other."

Lotte nodded in agreement, tightening her hug. "Exactly. You don't have to go through this alone. We're here for you, always."

Slowly, their words began to sink in. You took a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself. The panic was still there, but it was a little less overwhelming with their support.

The door to the changing room crashed open; Kim and Viv appeared, concerned expressions on their faces. Viv was the first to spot you in the centre of the little huddle of players.

"What happened?" Kim asked, her voice urgent.

Lotte quickly filled them in as Viv knelt down beside you, her presence immediately calming. "Hey, it's going to be okay," she said softly. "You're safe." She reached out, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, her touch gentle but reassuring. "You're strong, lieverd, remember that. And you've got us. We'll speak to people back home; he won't do anything like that again."

Kim nodded in agreement; her eyes filled with determination. "Absolutely. We won't let anyone treat you like that. You're a part of this team, and we protect our own. We're family."

Their unwavering support began to ease the tightness in your chest. You took another deep breath, feeling a bit more grounded. The shaking in your hands lessened, and the tears slowed to a stop. You leaned heavily into Viv, your head dropping to her shoulder.

"Do - do you think we could get ice cream, when we're back at the hotel?" you asked, hopefully, smiling gently at the laughter that filled the changing rooms.

I hope you enjoyed it <3<3<3

[slytherinshua]

CHERRY BOWS

genre. fluff. cheol as a dad. warnings. toddler/parent stuff. cheol gets jelly. pairing. husband!scoups x wife!reader. wc. 1k. request. request by @blue-jisungs: you asked for soft hours n i shall give!! it’s been in my mind for a hot while actually but i’m too busy rn to do it myself… and you’re the perfect person bc U MADE ME THINK IF TJAT 🫵🫵 jealous dad seungcheol :( ofc he loves u n ur kid but give him some attention too smh >:T and requested by anon: i love your svt as dads!! they’re all so cute and i’d like to request one for cheol! a/n. i love love love dad cheol omg :( my second dad fic for him hehe <3 hes so girl dad coded and SOOOOO ADORABLE SKDJKS I LOVE HIM!!!!

“You ate without me…?” Cheol’s sleepy mumble was the first thing you heard from him. He had tiredly trudged downstairs when he had woken up and you weren’t next to him in the bed. It was already a bad start to the day when that happened, and he was frowning and pouting and generally sulking about it by the time he found you.

He wrapped his arms around you from the back, trapping you in the middle of the living room so you couldn’t continue without giving him the attention he needed. You smiled at his clinginess and deep raspy morning voice, but scoffed at how baby-like he was in the morning. Sometimes he acted even more like a child than your actual child. 

Eunha was your now 2 year old daughter. She was adored by everyone and constantly doted on. She could be a handful at times, but only because she had started to take after your bossiness and knew exactly how to appeal to Seungcheol. If she ever wanted something, all she had to do was look at them with those big boba eyes that she got from him, and he’d be folding.

He loved her more than anything. Probably even more than you, but you were okay with it. It warmed your heart how much he cared for his daughter. He’d die for her in a heartbeat without a second of hesitation. You were learning more and more every day the love a father could hold for his children. You had expected this attitude when you married him, of course. Because you knew him and you knew how caring he was. He was so filled with love for people and the world, and you were so lucky to have him.

Starting a family had always been a dream for both of you, and Eunha’s birth had been your biggest blessing. It was challenging to take care of a toddler, but you and Cheol always did your best.

Eunha was happily playing with her toy dolls after eating breakfast— the entire living room spread with her mess. It was always a constant of cleaning her toys in the evening just for her to make a new mess the next day, but you didn’t mind. It was worth it to see her so happy, and though it could be stressful to have a messy space sometimes, her happy giggles made up for it.

“Were you playing dolls with her without me as well?” Cheol asked, the pout he was wearing somehow finding its way into his tone. You giggled and he squeezed you tighter out of jealousy. He didn’t want to admit that he missed your attention being only on him, but it was true. 

You were getting up earlier to feed Eunha and play with her in the morning. The sleepy morning cuddles that Cheol looked forward to every time he fell asleep next to you were becoming rarer and rarer and he felt bitter about the change. It just wasn’t the same with Eunha. It wasn’t worse, it was definitely better in most aspects, but the free time that he had enjoyed before was being sucked away by the little child.

“She wanted me to be the doctor.” You told him, explaining the dynamics of Eunha’s favourite game. She would be the mother to her little baby doll, and either Cheol or you would usually be the doctor.

“The bed was so cold without you…” He murmured, pushing his cheek against your neck. His skin was warm against yours and you leaned into him more, savouring the feeling.

“I’m sorry. You know that Eunha likes to get up early…” You whispered.

“She should’ve woken me up instead of you. Aren’t you tired?” 

“A bit. Eating breakfast with her was nice, though. She insisted on having strawberries with her yogurt since she had seen me eat it like that once.” You smiled. Seungcheol pouted.

“I thought I was her favourite…” He was mostly joking, of course, but slightly hurt. He had always been susceptible to jealousy. Maybe he was a little too greedy— he loved watching you and Eunha spend time together, but he also hated being left out.

Your little moment of warm embrace was interrupted after 2 minutes, a giggly Eunha running up and clinging to her father’s leg. She babbled something about her doll and wanting to get ice cream later today, which you were sure Seungcheol would indulge her in. He spoiled her too much.

You were happy to see your husband’s pout lift up into the sweetest of grins. He picked up Eunha, holding her so that she was resting on his hip. He kept one arm around you; almost if you would run away and leave him if he didn’t. Which was probably partially true since you hadn’t cleaned up from breakfast yet.

“Give daddy a kiss?” Cheol asked Eunha, giggles ensuing amongst both of them. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek cutely and you smiled. Now that Seungcheol was awake as well, the two would be inseparable for the rest of the day— especially since Cheol didn’t have any work to get to.

The morning happily proceeded with a small second breakfast and playtime. Now that your husband was being included in every activity, he was all smiles and giggles. He liked being the centre of attention; you had discovered that fact throughout the years. He was the happiest man in the world when he knew he was making his daughter happy.

Her happiness always came first, even when it relied on Seungcheol’s hair being tied up in pigtails with little cherry-coloured bows because Eunha wanted to play hairdresser. You were almost envious of how cute he looked in them. It was impossible not to love everything that Cheol did.

Along with the bows came matching sweaters with a cherry pattern for father and daughter. One look at the two and you could easily declare them the two cutest human beings in the entire world.

↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-redhair,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast,, @shuabby1994,, @icyminghao,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @edensgardenn,, @wonwooz1,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cienlvrs,, @amara-mars

[heejayy]

Soft Life!

Warning: none

Pairing: Gojo x black reader

A/n: this was highly influenced by the influx of soft black girl aesthetic. There’s a little rant at the end, don’t mind me.

Some may label you a gold digger, claiming you're with him for his money, and others may claim you've played life smart, but one thing is certain: being Gojo's wife was the easiest thing you've ever done; this man asks for nothing and gives you anything you want.

You met Gojo as a college student working a part-time job. Going to school and juggling job was challenging, but you made do with what you had. He liked your dedication and hard work, and he found your independence attractive. But if you were to stay with him, no woman would spend her life working when he could easily provide and care for her.

Gojo is a man that doesn’t ask you for a thing he’s just a giver. He makes you feel secure in every aspect of life, but if you decide you want to do something on your own, he’s ten toes behind you.

In your free time you love staying home and looking online for new treats to make your husband when he’s away at work. You’ve had so much free time you started making videos for your social media accounts and they blew up overnight.

People love watching your get ready with me’s, you going shopping, cooking, working out, couple's trips, makeup routines, anything you post they love.

Besides your social media activities not having to work every day really opened your schedule, instead of being too tired to do anything after coming home you have time for all your favorite hobbies plus more. Reading, yoga, gardening, painting, knitting, hell sometimes all you do is lounge around and take bubble baths. (Gojo loves coming home to a happy and well rested wife.)

But with the positive comes the negative, the ones who don’t like you or is very jealous of your lifestyle love to call you a pretty dumb housewife who has nothing better to do. Someone who’s thrown her life and career away to cater to a man but in reality, that same man caters to you. Do people think you’d take care of a man who does nothing for you?

In your opinion you love who you’ve become as a woman and a wife, you’ve never been happier even Gojo sees it.

©heejayy 2024 — any reposts or translations of my works are strictly prohibited unless granted permission.

Side note this is a little bit on the serious side: Although this is for my black girlies, all the girlies can read 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm not sure if it's just me, but I've grown tired of the 'Strong Black Woman' trend. Now, don't get me wrong, I like strong independent women because that's how I was taught, but being perceived as overly independent makes black women appear as if we don't need anyone and can do everything on our own, which is how people treat us. Like babes…we are human with emotions. They will go help and praise a non-woman of color before helping us. It's quite harmful; they already treat and compare us to men. And when a black girl tries to break out from that image, she is dragged back down, which is disgusting.

You don’t have to be rich to be in your soft era! Put yourself first, be kind to yourself, don’t let anyone tear you down, you are worthy of love, the things you can’t control don’t let it stress you out, pray and read the Bible more (if you’re religious), let go of negative people, ITS OKAY TO ACCEPT HELP, it’s okay to be quiet or confident which ever one fits you, prioritize peace, just be you don’t change or try to fit in.

[inbarfink]

In general, I feel like Zim’s panic and paranoia are very important aspects of his character that sadly often get overlooked and underutilized in the fandom. I feel like some folks just kinda go ‘oh, well, Zim thinks he is the greatest and most fearsome Invader in the universe so obviously he is certain that he can beat every obstacle’ when… I mean, sometimes he is like this - but some of Zim’s most iconic moments are powered by his fear and anxieties about failure.

So many of Zim’s schemes are motivated by an assumption that Humans are a lot smarter and more observant than they actually are. 

Or even just scarier and more dangerous.

He probably would have conquered the planet in a day if he just directly pulled all of the technology he had at his disposal and marched his way publicly to President Land. But he is just so obsessed with the idea that the Enemy is basically constantly one second away from uncovering him that he just wastes his time on pointless ‘infiltration’ and ludicrously overcomplicated ideas of how to ‘subtly’ take over or weaken the Earth’s defenses via fast-food or the Skool Student Council or Dookie. 

I mean, that is basically Duty!GIR’s big complaint about Zim in ‘GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff’. His progress has been stupid, because he’s been far too Stupidly Subtle about information gathering and world conquest and information gathering for the purpose of world conquest. When literally just heading to the public library and sucking out people’s brains is actually incredibly effective and has no real consequences. 

‘Walk for Your Lives’ is another excellent example of how Zim’s extreme ego and extreme anxiety go together. Zim is driven entirely by a totally made-up arbitrary ticking clock revolving around the idea that the Tallests WILL call again soon and so he MUST get rid of the Time Explosion NOW.

But he’s overconfident in the sense that he is certain that the solution he comes up with is Actually Good and won’t just make everything worse even as literally everyone around tells him it would. 

Enter the Florpus’ plot kicks off with a very similar scenario. Zim just comes up with a Made-Up Deadline and a Made-Up Consequence for ‘forgetting Phase 2’ and just starts… stressing himself up with it. 

On one level I think this is like… also a weird result of his Ego. You know, the logic being that if any potential challenge is not 100% effortless for him, Irk’s most amazing and powerful Invader, then it must be a horrible and fearsome threat. If Zim actually fully admitted that Earth is the stupidest, easiest-to-conquer planet in the universe - he would have to admit that failing to conquer this planet of all planets makes him a huge-ass loser. So instead, Zim salvages his own pride by constantly overestimating the humans.

But I also think in general Zim has a lot of anxiety and nervous energy. Maybe just from all the insecurities and failures he’s trying to deny and ignore all the time? And he’s just channeling them into the only channels he can consciously acknowledge - worrying about his enemies. 

[acosmicventure]

Scars of Your Survival Instinct in Birth Chart

SURVIVAL INSTINCT MEANS...

Survival instinct is a natural response to imminent danger, where your body responds by triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response to keep you safe.

The fight response involves confronting the threat head-on, the flight response involves escaping or avoiding the threat, and the freeze response involves hoping that the threat will pass.

However, being in this state for prolonged periods due to trauma can have damaging effects on our physical and mental health.

HOW STRUGGLES OF CHILDHOOD MANIFEST HERE

When faced with difficult upbringing and authority figures, a child often learns to build a wall to protect him/herself from the world.

This protection mechanism acts as a behaviour of emotional unavailability, anger issues, passive aggression and depression.

Slowly, your body starts keeping count of your trauma which leads to major health issues like high blood pressure, heart illness, diabetes and more.

IN MEN

It can lead to a highly complex ego where you seek external validation through superficial status, short-lived relationships and a running away mentality. Also, an extremist mentality.

IN WOMEN

It can lead to a high inferiority complex where you people please or are hyper-independent, focus too much on external beauty and couldn't assert yourself. Also, a victimhood mentality.

IN YOUR NATAL BLUEPRINT

Your ancestors survived many calamities so that you can break the patterns of the sufferings you are carrying within. These patterns can manifest as...

HOUSE OF ARIES AND MARS

Whichever house Aries and Mars are located in, that house shapes the way you survive the most challenging battles and bullying.

HOUSE OF SCORPIO AND PLUTO

This house shapes the way you transform yourself after going through ego death. Shadow work here brings immense healing to your ancestry.

HOUSE OF CAPRICORN AND SATURN

Whichever house Cap and Saturn are located in, that house shapes the way you learn karmic lessons and channel ancestral gifts to achieve legacy.

SUN-SATURN ASPECT, SUN IN LIBRA/ AQUA

This aspect makes you learn lessons about your identity, soul and heal inner criticism.

MARS-SATURN ASPECT, SAT IN ARIES

This aspect makes you learn lessons about your assertiveness and how you show up. A prominent survival instinct that needs nurturing and stability.

MOON IN SCORPIO, VIRGO, CAP, AQUARIUS

This aspect makes you close your heart space due to difficult childhood. Your healing begins when you prioritise self-care and emotional consciousness.

MOON-SATURN ASPECT, SAT IN 4TH HOUSE

This aspect makes you learn lessons about your emotional boundaries, home life and ancestry. Here, you heal by redefining what home/ family is.

PLUTO-MARS ASPECT, MARS IN 8TH HOUSE

This aspect makes you hyper-aware of the energies around you. Trusting your intuition is needed here.

VENUS-SATURN ASPECT, SAT IN 7TH HOUSE

This aspect makes you isolated from partnerships (business or love). This is also an indication to not repeat parental patterns within your relationship.

VENUS-PLUTO ASPECT, VENUS IN 8TH HOUSE

This aspect asks you to heal patterns around power struggles, abuse, finance, ancestry and intimacy.

VENUS-NEPTUNE ASPECT, VEN IN 12TH HOUSE

This aspect makes you learn about the importance of boundaries and not justifying destructive habits, especially within partnerships.

HOW YOU THRIVE INSTEAD OF SURVIVE

Practice cognitive reframing by challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive and realistic ones. Set realistic goals.

Engage in activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction. This can include deep breathing exercises, therapy or mindfulness techniques.

Be gentle with yourself throughout the healing process. Understand that it takes time to recover from a prolonged state of survival instinct

© A COSMIC VENTURE

[pocketjoong]

this is actually so hard for me because do i want san or do i want woo but guess what i will go with the wooyo 🥰🥰

sOOOO i really need some floof with wooyoung, maybe some college bf woo cause he sounds very slay 🔥 take your time with it my dear and good luck 🥰

Thank you so much for requesting Chip! I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it! (P.S. Requests are open until 11:59 p.m. PST today!) @nebulousbrainsoup I'M SORRY I FORGOT TO TAG YOU FOR BETA-ING THIS. THANK YOU. ILY.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (SYNOPSIS): Fluffy college!bf wooyo headcanons!

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (PAIRING) non-idol!Wooyoung x gn!Reader

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WARNINGS) Lots of FLUFF. Mentions of eating. Mentions of uni being stressful. lmk if I am missing something.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WORD COUNT) 775

☆ You and Wooyoung first met during your freshman year at college. No one would’ve expected your path to cross, especially considering that you were a STEM major while Wooyoung was a dance major. But, on the first day of a general education class, you found yourselves seated next to each other, and a casual conversation soon turned into animated discussions about the creative aspects of your respective fields.

☆ Wooyoung’s infectious laughter and humor quickly won you over, and you couldn’t help but admire his passionate approach to dance and art. Likewise, he was captivated by your intelligence and curiosity, and the way you treated everyone with kindness.

☆ As the semester progressed, you and Wooyoung became study partners, helping each other with your assignments and offering different perspectives on the course material. And even after the semester finished, the two of you remained friends, hanging out with each other whenever you had the time to.

☆ One evening, as you were working on a particularly challenging project for your class, Wooyoung decided to surprise you with a homemade dinner. He knew how stressed you were and wanted to lighten the mood. The dinner in your dorm room marked the beginning of your relationship.

☆ One thing that has remained consistent throughout your relationship is Wooyoung waking up a little earlier than you, tiptoeing into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for both of you, often playing soft music in the background. It’s usually something simple but made with love, like a heart-shaped pancake with a dollop of your favorite jam, or a sweet note by your coffee, expressing his love and wishing you a great day.

☆ Wooyoung also loves to randomly drag you into impromptu dance sessions, even if it's in the middle of your living room or the kitchen. Even if you don’t know how to dance, he patiently teaches you basic dance moves, guiding your steps until you get the hang of the moves. Sometimes, he dances goofily and encourages you to do the same, both of you dancing to the music while your laughter fills the room.

☆ He knows when you’re stressed about your classes, and motivates you to keep pushing forward. He sometimes leaves little encouraging notes in your textbooks or sends you sweet texts during the day.

☆ On tough days, he knows exactly when you need cuddles and comforting words. He wraps you in his arms, holding you close as he reassures you that everything will be okay. He tells you how proud he is of your hard work and dedication, and how much he loves you.

☆ You love attending his dance showcases and performances, and you often invite your friends to join. You sit in the front row, cheering the loudest, and your eyes are glued to him as he moves gracefully across the stage. He never fails to spot you in the crowd, and it fills him with happiness and energy.

☆ Occasionally, you find yourselves studying together. Though your fields of study are vastly different, you both enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes, you end up in the studio where Wooyoung practices dance routines and settle down in the corner, reviewing your notes or working on assignments while he practices nearby. You’re always there to help each other through the challenging parts, and it makes the study sessions much more enjoyable.

☆ Dating Wooyoung also means spontaneous date nights. They can be as simple as a midnight stroll through campus, a movie night at either of your dorms with all your favorite films and snacks, or a surprise outing to a new restaurant you’ve both been wanting to try.

☆ On the days leading up to Halloween, you spend weekends watching your favorite spooky movies in your matching Halloween-themed pajamas. A few days before Halloween, instead of watching movies, you visit a local pumpkin patch and pick out the perfect pumpkins to carve out. And on D-day, you usually go to the local haunted house or Halloween attractions.

☆ For Chritsmas, you decorate your dorm before leaving for the holidays. You both spend a day adorning the space with twinkling lights, ornaments, and a mini Christmas tree. And you make it a point to visit each other’s families for Christmas, exchanging gifts and spending time with loved ones.

☆ Wooyoung doesn't wait for special occasions to express his love. He often leaves small notes hidden around your home with sweet messages, surprises you with your favorite flowers, or simply tells you how much he loves you when you least expect it. His love is a constant presence in your life, and it warms your heart that you found such a precious person to share your life with.

[eunkitarot]

Eunki can u make a post on how enhypen would react to their s/o crying because of them? Like how they would react and what they would do if they made their s/o cry?

So using tarot I would be telling yall what might happen and also fyi its not au😬 so im not gg to sugar coat it. I will read the reaction as it is.

DISCLAIMER : its tarot 💥energy shifts💥.

So with,

Heeseung

Ace Of Pentacles reversed

Right of the bat when he sees is SO crying because of him he would be worried. I can see him feeling bad but unsure how to approach his SO. He would be hesitant to make any more moves. He worries he would make it worse. He would show signs of stress or anxiety, such as a furrowed brow or tense posture. So I am seeing him standing there stuck and just thinking " What have I done? Have i gone too far? Why did I say that?" A million questions running through his mind. Because of this he may not even try to calm you down because he himself is having this inner crisis of trying to process what he just did.

Jay

Nine of Cups

Okay so with Jay, we need to see the reason you cry. Is it of happiness or sadness. Why did he make you cry? So if happiness he would give you a hug. Asking why are you crying? For eg he bought you a ring and you cry cause you are touched. He would be proud of how he makes you feel. He is happy to see you happy. Now if its sadness, Jay is someone that would instantly realise and approach you to apologise. He would calmly handle the situation with compassion trying to understand why are you crying. Overall, he would have this calm demeanor as if setting his foot down. Physically, he would put his shoulders around yours gently.

Jake

King Of Cups reversed

Ok for Jake he would panic. He would appear unsettled or inconsistent, reflecting his inner emotional turmoil. He would be restless or feel discomfort seeing you cry because of him. I can see him being shifty. Very dramatic, not calm at all. Its like the world ended when you cry. Massive amount of guilt crashing down on him. I can see him pacing back and forth. So usually i dont link to astrology but Jake is a scorpio venus and this card reversed is link to scorpio placements.

Astrologically, the King of Cups reversed as a person represents someone who is dealing with the challenging aspects of Scorpio or Pisces, like emotional hypersensitivity. These astrological influences may exacerbate their tendencies towards emotional extremes and difficulty in handling their deep emotional sensitivity.

Jake may feel its difficult to find a balance in his emotional life and developing healthier ways to express and manage his feelings. So yes, if he sees you cry he would panic to no end and he wont know how to handle how he feels , so he definitely can't handle yours.

Sunghoon

Eight of wands

Okay, for Sunghoon, he would react fast upon seeing you cry. So he would approach you and be like, " wait what happened? What did I say that made you cry?". So for eg, you're sitting and he is standing and then he sees you start crying, he would suddenly rush to your side asking " hey what's wrong? is it something that I said?" Grab a box of tissue asap and hug you. I think he is very straightforward. He would react accordingly. Quick decisions and rapid responds is what I am getting. And he would want to communicate with you right there and then to quickly clear the air. So yeah he would ask you as you cry. So that the situation wont get worst. He would want you to let it all out, even if you are angry at him.

Sunoo

Ace Of Swords

Okay so seeing you cry Sunoo would approach the situation clear-minded still. So even if youre crying, he wont be emotionally swayed by it but instead he would look at the situation as it is while comforting you. He would silently sit next to you as you cry giving you time to collect yourself. " let it all out and then tell me what happened" if he hurt you he needs to know why. So that he won't do it again. With this card , this is someone that goes straight to the heart of the matter. He wants a clear communication. Physically, he would sit beside you, and have this focused penetrating gaze on you. This whole demeanor could also reflect a bit of his guilt.

Jungwon

Four of cups reversed

Jungwon would reasses what he did. Seeing you cry he would come towards you with a gaze that become more focused and present. He would reach out for your hands looking into your eyes as if searching for answers as what did he say or do that makes you cry. A bit confused but he would be willing to figure it out. He would be open to whatever you want to say. Whether you want to scold him or reprimand him for what he did. Jungwon would be open to that because he is aware he hurt you. He would just accept it.

Ni-Ki

The magician reversed

Ok last but not least our maknae Ni-ki, alright right of the bat seeing you cry makes him feel insecure. Insecure of himself not being a great SO to you because he hurt you. He would start to doubt himself and question if he deserves you. Something about him not showing his true reaction to seeing you cry. So maybe in his head is its full blown chaos but outside he looks aloof. Like he don't care. Niki struggles to show how he really feels about the situation. So he would just stare at you and is just stuck.

💗Honest takes; take it with a grain of salt: tbh i like the way sunoo handle it. Something about being able to be present even if youre not being affectionate is so important to me. So yeah i like his approach the most.

I hope you like my read. Again its tarot, dont take it as an ultimatum. Enha boys are humans, and they constantly grow over time. Emotional maturity constantly evolve. And that people should realise your idols are not perfect and they too have red flags :)

[kilobaxis-blog]

Why I think Donnie 2012 has BPD too

.

.

BEFORE I START THIS . I'm aware donnie has OCD CANNONICALLY but the OCD and BPD comorbidity, although not studied often, occurs often. About 15–44% (NIH Joshi, Gagan).

1.Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

I feel like this is the most dominant criterion for BPD. Donnie displays this by formulating elaborate plans to prevent april from not hanging out with him and saving her father after he got mutated --which I am aware is mostly because he's a good person and wants to save another human being-- but also it's pretty obvious he thinks this will bring her back to him.

RSD ( rejection sensitive dysphoria) is also VERY prominent in people with bpd. This is shown in episode 10 Fungus Humungous. Not just the rejection of April but of people all together seeing that april in the first few seasons is represented more of a concept to him rather than somebody he actually loves.

2.A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

I think it's safe to say the relationship april and donnie has is unstable. Mostly on donnie's end. He is shown to idealize her often but also has snapped on her once in the show when she didn't act/respond the way he wanted her to in season 1 episode 9. All of this is mostly in Donnie's head because the feelings aren't reciprocated, but the relationship for him at least is very intense and he has intense feelings about it.

3. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Donnie has A LOT of mood swings throughout the series. More than any of his other siblings and not saying a lot because of raph. It's mostly just anxiety and irritability that only lasts a few moments in the episode.

4. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I think Donnie displays paranoid ideation wich is characterized by persistent thoughts of distrust or suspicion. This is usually targeted at casey (the love rival) but sometimes it's inappropriate when casey and april are just standing next to one another.

5.Impulsive behavior in 2 areas that are potentially self-damaging.

Donnie is a teenage boy so this is a strech but I've seen him be impulsive with driving and making rash decisions in the heat of the moment. This is not to be confused with this compulses wich is diffrent from impulsive behavior.

6.Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

This one was kind of hard and maybe also a bit of a stretch because I do feel like Donnie does have a sense of self but when it's challenged he has an identity crisis and it sends him spiraling. When he can't fix something right away the one thing he thinks he's really good

at he begins to doubt his self immediately. This often occurs with people with BPD because we might lach on to one aspect of ourselves to have some sense of identity but when it's disturbed we get very discouraged/ depressed.

[dufferpuffer]

What do you think lupin needs in a romantic partner to have a functioning/healthy relationship (as healthy as this man can manage atleast)? What qualities would this person have to have to be able to deal with all the more challenging aspects of being in a relationship with him? But also what does he want in a partner? And what would he absolutely not want?

Me. I am perfect. Remus Lupin hmu

Remus Romantic Partner pt1: Remus is needy Link to pt2: Remus is good Link to pt3: Shipping, I guess (aint done)

In short: Remus Lupin needs an ANCHOR POINT to harbor his ship. 1. Someone interesting he can pour his attention into. 2. Generally up-beat/optimistic, so he has warmth to lean on. 3. Bold enough to be themselves - even if they're different. 4. Kind and accepting of other people 5. A little 'cute'. 'Quirky'. Small 'issues' support. (just a bonus, really) 6. Independent. Can live without him just fine but still want him. 7. Emotionally strong. Immense maturity and stability. 8. Doesn't have much temper, doesn't start drama or fights. Of course he doesn't need ALL of these boxes ticked - but the highlighted ones are the closest to a MUST for the relationship to even have a chance at being healthy. In long: Explanations (and example characters who I think fit) are below. B^)

Remus is an introverted man. He isn't shy (he can take charge of a room, he can speak publicly, he is good at getting people to like him) but when he isn't the focus he is a wall-flower. He doesn't talk much unless he has something to say. He is deeply, irreparably self-conscious. He has trauma of unintentionally hurting those he loves, so he keeps his distance.

((His parents became sick with the stress of having to move house every few months, find new work every few months, keeping their bank account drained... socially isolated with a son they had to lock away every Full Moon - lest he killed them. They loved him but that was a difficult thing for Remus to grow up witnessing, knowing he was the cause. Knowing him leaving for Hogwarts was the best thing to happen for their health since he was bitten... Of course he pushes people away. He can't help being sick - but he can help them not suffer... if he stays away.))

He is always thinking inwardly. He is always anxious. He wonders how he can make himself smaller, friendlier, less scary… Trying to plan how he wants others to relate to him. He tries to control how others think of him, to steer them away from the bad things... He is a wolf in wizards clothing. If he treats everyone as dolls to manipulate, and if they never know the real him... it will hurt everyone less when he leaves.

1. He needs someone who can bust him out of that toxic mindset. Someone that grabs his attention and pulls it away from himself. Someone interesting, skilled, passionate - living a life he can't achieve. Someone with knowledge or stories he can listen to at length and live a little through them... or they can even include him. More of a talker so he can be a listener, so he can focus on someone else's world - but they're also eager to hear whatever he has to say without prying. They aren't arrogant or loud: they can listen, too. Remus needs good, witty conversation over a cup of tea.

2. They need to be generally up-beat, but not in a way that'll crush his down-beat. They invite him to join in if he wants - or else lean on them like they're a heater for his troubled soul while he feels down. Sometimes he will feel bad, or flat, or tired - and they can't fix it.

I don't think he has any visual preferences. What he notices first about people are their mannerisms. He is always shaping himself to fit the room, so I think he admires people who act authentically: Boldness. Bravery. Honesty. Earnestness. Brashness. So... 3. He would be more attracted to people of subcultures and/or strong interests - or are simply out-of-the-expected-norm. I think he would be fascinated about these little nooks of belonging - alternate 'normal's' when the Wizarding world can be so rigid. (Do I think he has a preference for LGBTQIA+? Yeah. General androgyny too.)

4. Kind. Accepting. They need to be kind to others in general. Because he can't always be kind to others. He puts himself first and sometimes that hurts because he WANTS to be more kind. A partner who can pick up the slack? Who he can trust to always be kind and accepting of him - because they are such a way with everyone...? That's just a requirement, really.

5. A small thing I think he likes in particular: A cute factor. A little clumsy, A little slow, Enthusiastic, Awkward, Weak, A bit short/tall... something that isn't an issue but will pop up every now and then, distract him and make him go '...cute. That was cute.' Something he can effortlessly support. Something he can be thoughtful about, thinking of their needs rather than his own. - They struggle to read quickly? He can read out loud for them. - They tend to act impulsively? He can hold them back just enough to let them to give it a second thought. - They struggle in social situations? So he can talk on their behalf. - They keep fumbling and tripping over? He can keep them steady. It's nice to feel useful and kind in a simple, effortless way. Something so obvious to proves he isn't bad at heart - even when he feels awful.

6. They need to be Independent. What he CAN'T have is someone who NEEDS him. Oh god, the pressure… He cant be trapped. He requires a high level of independence... because he WILL FAIL. He WILL leave and break their heart over nothing. He WILL make promises he doesn't intend to keep - because he intends to run away and never look back. If they NEED him, just to stay afloat…? It will break him. He can't be the bread-winner, even if he could have a stable job. He can't be a long-term emotional support, only short-term. He needs to know that WHEN he breaks down and fucks off not 'if' - even if it's FOREVER… that they will be okay without him. 'Not being ok without him' won't make him stay. He will not 'shape up under a bit of pressure'. It will only injure him.

7. He needs someone strong enough to be forgiving. Not a self-harming, forcing yourself to forgive-and-forget either. That is a very real danger with Remus: If he got with someone who was as much a people-pleasing self-depreciator as him…? He will tear them to shreds. He is a toxic man and he requires tough gloves to handle:- Genuinely emotionally strong. Someone he can lean on, far more than they lean on him. - Wise enough to see through his bullshit manipulations and lies - with enough tact to navigate them, understanding he struggles without judgement but holding him gently accountable. - Empathetic enough to understand him even when he can't explain himself properly. - Mature enough to hold him accountable. Can help him understand how he can do better. He is filled with shame - sometimes for very good reasons that need addressing.

He will go through periods of being unable to be contacted, periods of self-endangerment… He needs somewhere, someone, he can crawl back to in shame. Who WILL talk with him seriously about things… but is willing to just let him sleep quietly for the night in their arms, for now. (Am I saying he needs to date a therapist? Yeah, basically. Dating Remus isn't easy.)

8. Doesn't start fights. Doesn't lash out. Doesn't live off of drama. Remus fits himself into situations passively - he doesn't need someone making situations more difficult to feel comfortable in. If they get angry and yell at him - he will yell one hurtful thing back and leave. He has a very limited ability withstand tension. He tries to keep a level head and a level room - he needs a partner who will support those efforts, or at least not sabotage them.

Partners I think have good chemistry, for examples:

NYMPHADORA TONKS. It is annoying how perfectly she has been made to fit Remus' needs, as she is so underutilized. I wouldn't find her as frustrating if she got more fleshing out in ways that weren't the specific things suited to being with Remus… ugh. - She is a skilled Auror, especially for her age. - She lightens the mood of any room by being playful. - She is unapologetic in being herself, accepting people with ease. - She is a bit clumsy - but capable and hugely independent. - Her ability to roll with the punches is insane: every time Remus is hot-and-cold she has both the ability to hold him responsible for how much it hurts and the strength to still stand there for him. - She is firey and doesn't back down, but she isn't trying to start fights. She's just stubborn and confident in what she has to say. To make claims like 'Remus only likes her because she can shapeshift' or whatever is just... no, its because she is perfect for him.

LUNA LOVEGOOD. Surprising, I know. Perhaps in different circumstances they could have hit it off. - Strong interests, a subculture at the edge of Wizarding society yet she is always 'uniquely' and brazenly herself. - Optimistic and up-beat... a little dreamy, air-headed, focus could use some steering sometimes. - Helpful and kind to all, even those that have been mean to her. - Very used to being alone. Independent in body and soul. Quite comfortable being alone - but friends are nice, too. - Emotional strength is a specialty of hers. Even in the worst situations she keeps her head on her shoulders and, despite how aloof she appears, is intelligent, sharp and serious. - Can make demands when she needs to - not a pushover. Bonus: An interest in magical creatures, too. :)

Close, but I think have a large flaw (that might makes them spicy):

SEVERUS SNAPE - Potions Master. Dark Arts specialist. Veteran teacher. All the steady employment and deep, fascinating interests Remus wishes he could have - along with ALSO having been a Spy... and being misunderstood. They have more in common than they don't. - He isn't optimistic, but he is a problem solver, dedicated to making things better than they are. He faces problems head on while Remus would rather curl away. - He understands feeling quiet and low. He might not be warm, but he is a softer place to rest than you'd expect. - He has never changed himself for anyone. He is stubbornly himself, even when it makes him seem like an outcast weirdo. - He has little patience. He isn't gentle or nice. But he cares enough to be kind, even to those he hates... and he is loyal. It isn't ideal for Remus but it gives him a place to fit himself: If Severus is cold, he is warm. If Severus has the quirk of being a snarky, prickly bastard - Remus is skilled at the opposite. - Independent. Accustomed to being alone. Expects to be alone. Being with someone who understands him... a little daunting, really. The main place I think Severus fails here is emotional strength. He is quick to anger and lashes out. He holds grudges. He starts shit and Remus can't handle shit. Severus needs someone who can temper those anger flares, or at least weather them - and Remus can do neither. But perhaps that is the place they can meet in the middle...?

LILY EVANS - Everyone liked her. Talented, bright and strong-willed, She was a popular girl. I think Remus liked her too, but... James and Severus. - She seems a bit cheeky, quick witted - she brightens a room when she walks in. - She was best friends with Severus for years. Maybe she had other friends in her dorm - but if they were as close to her as Severus was, they would have been HIS friends, too. She was willing to be with the outcast, even when popular. - I know it's a movie quote, but I think it still fits from Remus' POV when he says Lily was an 'uncommonly kind woman' and 'had a way of seeing the beauty in others when that person cannot see it themselves.' I think she accepted him fast and firmly. - She didn't need anyone else. She stood up to James by herself. She knew what she was worth. - She seems to prefer ending fights rather than starting them. She hates a bully. Lily doesn't have the 'grit' (for lack of a better word) to take toxicity. She hated James' bullying. She dropped Severus. She has patience and an 'I can help fix him' desire - but they need to put in the effort, too. James cleaned up his act somewhat and she liked that. Remus isn't going to fully succeed at 'fixing' himself. Not just by 'putting some effort in'. It is going to take so long, and be so slow... Severus would be far easier to 'I can help fix him' - and she couldn't handle him. !!!This isn't saying Lily is weak or something. It is incredibly HEALTHY to not being able to put up with toxic shit, to have the strength to say 'enough is enough'. That is a GOOD thing.!!!

A popular partner I DON'T think works out so easily:

SIRIUS BLACK Sirius Black is a dog. He needs people. He needs constant companionship - especially after Azkaban. He is a mess who needs support, company, loyalty... and Remus can't provide any of that with regularity! Waking up in an empty bed, in a cold room, after Remus timidly promised to 'always be there' for him but was lying... it would shatter Sirius. He doesn't have the strength or stability to lose anyone else. Sirius is honest and sticks to his guns even when times get tough. He would rather DIE than turn his back on a loved one. Remus lies unprovoked and runs away with his tail between his legs at the slightest sign of trouble. Sirius, as a traumatized man, is not going to be able to understand why Remus can just throw away everything he has to run off. How he could just leave him alone again...? Doesn't he love him?! At his worst: he is more likely to try and emotionally trap Remus with him, force him to stay - and that just isn't going to work. Remus is a Wolf. He can't be locked in. I don't even think Sirius at his best, pre-Azkaban, would fit well: - He is upbeat, but in a way that tries to break others out of their funks. It's abrasive for him to hang out with someone sad. ((I'm sure he could learn to do it but his instinct is to help.)) - He is kind - but he has a limit. When that limit is passed, his care is snapped. He holds grudges and he makes judgements. - He is not and has never been independent. He is strong-willed and confident about himself, yes - but he thrives when he is at another's side. He has always been like this Azkaban just made it worse. - He doesn't have what it takes to weather Remus' bullshit. That's not a bad thing either, he know how to cut toxic people from his life when they are too heavy - but post-Azkaban he is even more scared of losing people, which makes him vulnerable. - He starts shit. He jumps into arguments, he escalates, he enjoys the thrill and the drama of it. Remus wouldn't join in, even if he agrees with Sirius, and thus would leave him unsupported. We see this very thing happen in OotP

[animehideout]

Your MBTI, Your Relationship With JJK Characters Final Part 8

ENTJ / ESTJ

you can find all parts here

a/n: Omg can't believe this is the last part of MBTI series, I'm glad that you enjoyed it and thank y'all for your requests 🫶🏻❤️. Thank you @deluluforcarlos55 for requesting ENTJ, also thank you @suchasecretiveninja for reading and being interested in all parts.

ENTJ

Ryomen Sukuna = Desires you

Your smart, ambitious and creative nature is a big turn on for Sukuna. He wants to use your qualities and strengths for his own advantage that's why he strongly desires to have and own you. ENTJs have a gift in achieving their goals easily without too much effort or stress. They are strong-willed with strategic thinking that makes them always a step ahead from others, that's exactly what's Sukuna needs. He likes challenges, so when his desire to control you is faced with your strong resistance, he would definitely turn it into a playful game of tag. He enjoys the thrill of hunting you down on his journey of making you his. ENTJs are known for their high sense of autonomy, so the more you resist Sukuna, the more he would get obsessed with you.

Geto Suguru = Husband.

A powerful couple respected and feared by everyone. Both driven by your desire for achievements and success. Despite being married you're still each other's best partners in business, working together to reach mutual goals. You heavily rely on each other in mostly everything. You're assertiveness compliment Suguru's smart planning. ENTJs has a high standard in men and Geto definitely met your expectations. You rarely have arguments in your relationship since both of you are good at problem solving without inserting too much feelings. Even though you too find it hard or rather afraid to open up you still try to be more open and show your weaknesses since you have protective sense towards each other. When you get extremely comfortable and in a goofy mood, you would act really extra but in a classy way.

Yuuji Itadori= A good friend

A source of motivation that's what you are to Yuuji. There's something in ENTJ that observes people, sees the potential in them and literally push them forward to master those skills. It's a big ick for them to see a wasted potential. ENTJs are fast learners with high intellect so they have no patience for slow and inefficient people, luckily Yuuji is a good match. His will to learn and better himself and his skills brought you together. You respect that kind of people; those workaholic who don't give up easily. Your different personality aspects moderate your relationship; he teaches you how to be more empathetic, grounded and you teach him how to be logical, prudent and sharp.

ESTJ

Toji Fushiguro= Boyfriend

A harmonious blend of extraversion and introversion but with mutual values. ESTJ enjoys being the center of attention, too focused on social status; something that Toji finds extremely attractive. You contribute to an organized relationship since ESTJs tend to be excellent organizers.Toji's rationality allows him to suit your personality, both of you are highly thinking individuals with judgmental sides. Two peas in a pot that's what you are. Both of you know exactly what you want from the relationship, also are brutally honest, luckily your self-confidence protects you from being offended. Toji is into the bratty type, so ESTJ would definitely be his type with your bossy and stubborn demeanor.

Megumi Fushiguro = Friend

You rely on each other, Megumi literally would trust you with his life. ESTJs are gifted with a natural sense of leadership that makes everyone around count on them. You bring structure and order to the group, that's something similar in Megumi's persona. Both of you have a difficulty to vocalize your emotions and feelings but your actions speak volumes making your friendship even stronger. Your friendship is balanced; Megumi is an introverted person with a calm demeanor so handling some complicated social situations might be hard for him so having an ESTJ friend would make it way easier for him. With your outgoing nature, you'd would take charge of those social energy draining settings. Overall you have a trustworthy, stable bond

Mahito = Enemy

ESTJs thrive in organize and structured environment, guided by strict rules, so having someone who tends to violate this harmony and chooses to be rebellious and inclines from following certain guidelines is considered a threat for the well established order that you set. To ESTJ, Mahito is a troublemaker, an individual that would only cause chaos and anarchy. Mahito's personality clashes with ESTJ authoritarian and controlling nature; creating and enmity and tension between you. Mahito's weapon is to try to spoil your plans and to-do list ,this would be faced with a negative and brutal reaction from you.

[glitterpensupremacy]

In a lot of rewrites I’ve looked at tend to water down the romance aspect of Miraculous by either not making Adrien and Marinette like each other, removing secret identities, or otherwise not really focusing on the love angle. And that can be a good thing, (especially if you actually fill the space with more focus on the different interpersonal relationships of the show). At the same time, I… kinda feel like it’s missing the appeal of ML in the first place? It’s an action romance show (a act-rom? Rom-act? Idk) which is actually pretty rare in the general media (usually it’s either mostly romance with a bit of action or vice versa with a shoehorned love interest), not to mention that the love square focuses on one of the core ideas of the show (relationships and they affect both your perception and trust).

So yeah, not only are we keeping the love square, but we’ve actually planned out how it progresses through the show (which I think is the main challenge with the concept: creating proper pacing). Therefore, I (finally) give you…

MTS Love Square:

To start, Adrien and Marinette will behave very differently with their crushes than in the original.

- Chat Noir is a lot more hesitant about being open with his feelings initially (due to various events before and in the first season) and prefers to hide behind ironic declarations. When he eventually does confess and is rejected, he is a bit disappointed but takes it well (if anything he’s more worried about LB not wanting to be his friend anymore). It’s actually because of CN that the secret identities are a factor in MTS (the identities are never a concrete rule, but he doesn’t trust himself enough to learn who LB actually is, and LB wants to wait until he is ready before she learns who CN is).

- Marinette gets more time to know Adrien before falling in love with him (and becomes aware of how over-the-top antics from admirers make Adrien uncomfortable due to his celebrity status), therefore, she tries to be a lot more subtle with any approaches she makes. Marinette still might stammer (as she does in most stressful situations) around Adrien when getting used to her crush on him, but doesn’t really make complex plans or usually swap words around. When she confesses to Adrien and is rejected, she also handles things fairly well despite her disappointment.

As for the general timeline for the square, we have:

- S1 (first half): Adrinette meets each other and becomes casual friends. Marinette initially just thinks Adrien is okayish (not super interested in supermodels), which actually makes Adrien more determined to be her friend (as she’s one of the few people who treats him like a normal person). Ladynoir meet and DO NOT GET ALONG, both due to representing opposite concepts, and then reminding each other of certain people in their lives who they have issues with (and Tikki and Plagg egging on their rivalry). They prefer to handle things on their own.

- S1 (second half): Adrienette become even closer as they have a few silly interactions (chiefly in Befana, Stormy Weather, and Guitar Villain). Ladynoir learn to work together and start seeing the other person for who they truly are (Timetagger, Puppeteer). They develop a strong bond due to their mutually stressful situation (Copycat also happens, which increases their concern for each other and CN’s fear of hurting LB). In Glaciator, the ACTUAL love square begins (Marinette falls in love with Adrien, Chat Noir falls in love with Ladybug). We get a handful of Marichat interactions (briefly in Timetagger, Befana, Puppeteer, and especially Weredad). Ladrien makes a minor appearance in Style Queen.

- S2 (first half): Both CN and Marinette work up the courage to confess their feelings to their counterparts. CN doesn’t want to become obsessive and harm LB with his feelings, while Marinette worries about potentially losing one of the few friends she has. Various romance related occurrences happen in their class that affect how they think about their crushes (Stoneheart, Evillustrator, Dark Cupid). When they finally do admit their feelings, a mutual friendzoning occurs (whether they have no romantic interest in their other selves or simply do not know how to process having a second crush is up to interpretation) and they try to figure out how to interact with each other post rejection. (Oh yeah, and we get a bit of Marichat in Evillustrator.)

- S2 (second half): Kind of a continuation of the last plot thread for S2’s first half. Adrien and Marinette navigate their friendship after Marinette is rejected, and Ladybug and Chat Noir try to ensure that their bond remains unshakable as ever. However, extreme circumstances (especially on the hero side) keeps them from fully processing their feelings.

- S3: Pretty light on love square content. Lots of interactions between sides (Even some Marichat with Gamer and some Ladrien with Gorizilla), but they’re trying to move on from each other. Adrien and Kagami (who was introduced in S2) fall in love, as do Marinette and Luka (also introduced in S2). We get the occasional hint that there is still some lingering feelings between the protagonists, but not much aside from that.

- S4: Lukanette and Adrigami play out over the course of S4 (and eventually break up near the end of the season). While there are other reasons why the couples don’t end up working together, the fact that Marinette never 100% moved on from Adrien, and vice versa with the hero identities, may be a factor in why they weren’t able to make things work with the alt ships.

- S5 (first half): Marinette and Adrien process and recover from their break ups. Eventually they discover their feelings for each other (Marinette learns that Adrien is in love with Ladybug and CN learns that LB is in love with Adrien). This leads to Ladrien dating (controversial, I know) but issues continuously crop up in their relationship.

- S5 (second half): The various issues with Ladrien are explored (mutual guilt over feeling like they’re lying to the other one by dating them after being friendzoned in another identity, trying to hide why they know so much about each other despite barely interacting as Ladrien, Ladybug worries about endangering the civilian Adrien, Adrien worries about not being able to help Ladybug as CN because she’s trying to protect him as Adrien). They manage to (indirectly) share some other problems as Marichat, but then they begin to realize that they’ve also developed crushes on each other as Marichat, which causes EVEN more problems! Things seem to be getting better when CN is finally ready to learn who LB is (after confronting a nightmare of a LB who thinks he’s a monster in Sandboy), and reveals himself as Adrien, inviting LB to do the same. Unfortunately, this shakes LB pretty badly (as she had a Sandboy nightmare of Ephemeral, a potential Adrien Akuma), and she isn’t ready for her half of the reveal yet.

- S5 (finale): When LB is able to put the pieces together on who HM is, she attempts to fight him on her own (due to knowing CN is Adrien and not wanting him to deal with that), unfortunately, this does not go well for her when (big spoiler I probably shouldn’t reveal yet), causing (even bigger spoiler I DEFINITELY shouldn’t reveal yet). When they two reunite (and Adrien finds out who LB is), they need some time to deal with everything, but finally get together completely at the end of the show.

Conclusion

For anyone disappointed about not getting post reveal dating, I don’t blame you (we have vagueeee plans for a sequel show where there is post reveal dating, but the plans are a lot hazier so I can’t say as much about it).

So yeah, that’s the brief rundown of the MTS love square. If you want more information about a specific side, feel free to send me an ask!

After this I’ll probably write my character notes on Felix MTS, but we’ll see.

[bandsandwristbands]

it’s me ur bbgrill tell me yuor 1-4 headcanons rn

gettin grilled by the bbgrill

Level 1!

hhhh i mean canon does not give much to work with imo

Firstly Lee and Gaara are massive shit talkers.

Lee got that chronic pain, dawg, like regular shooting pains and nerve issues but he doesn't say anything cuz he doesn't want anyone to worry or feel bad(👀Gaara *cough*)

Gaara ups his tai jutsu training (I think this is canon in filler lol) but Lee helps him out by sending over reference material all the time. The homies tell Lee that he's overdoing it but Gaara keeps and studies everything Lee sends.

Speaking of studying I think Gaara had to study hard for the bureaucratical aspects of the Kazekage spot. (Probably mostly shadowed Baki for a long time) Like strength is a given but he was totally on his own when it came to education and diplomatic stuff because he was pushed through the academy purely through fear and nepotism. Not to say he isn't smart, once he starts in on something he's similar to Lee in that he goes all in, it becomes a whole aspect of his personality.

Level 2 💥

Sorry but Gaara still has mood swings and struggles to regulate his emotions. He masks real well, king of compartmentalize and dissociate lol but mans lashes out sometimes. Especially before shukaku is extracted like he canonically is not allowed to sleep his neural pathways are fried. He does try to not let it on to anyone because it Freaks People Out for obvious reasons. (The gaalee here is that Lee doesn't gaf about moodswings because he is also TooMuch sometimes, just a very accepting guy so he's someone Gaara can be less under tight emotional control with and he tries to offer healthy outlets hiii gay thoughts and mushy feelings)

Also he cries way easily, sometimes he just chillin and he's like aw fuck not again, cuz the fatigue and stress manifests or just feeling generally overwhelmed(*references 1(one) scene in shippuden*)

Level 3 !

Gaara is a brat, a little shit, a bit of an instigator even. Lee is one of the only people who can really challenge him on his attitude when he's being a menace. Temari and Kankuro too but Gaara knows how to push their buttons too well loll

I mean the guy definitely misuse his authority sometimes (usually for the greater good but sometimes just to be sneaky)

Lee is spiteful and has a greedy streak in the sense that if he wants to go for something, he doesn't gaf if he 'deserves it' he'll earn that shit for himself and then rub it in your face but somehow be polite about it. Utilizes malicious compliance often.

Gaara is a picky eater, certain textures bother him and specific foods he just won't eat, he later explains to Lee that he's been poisoned a few times and even the smell of certain foods makes him feel violently ill as a result. It tasted fine when he ate it at first but his body remembers the pain and fear quite vividly. Lee goes out of his way to be courteous of this. Alternatively Lee will eat anything on principle of not being wasteful.

Level 4!! (The ones im slow cookin at all times)

HELLO RELIGION/CULTURE HCS Gaara gets into reviving old Suna traditions and sponsors more regular celebrations to rebuild a sense of community outside of the military state previous Kazekages had been building. (This wins over a lot of Old Head civilians because they remember when practicing and appreciating their religious figures was commonplace) In general Suna becomes a lot more colorful and lively especially in the years post war. Art and clothing and jewelry actually becomes a pretty decent trade asset. The regular big celebrations encourage more tourism, helps the economy and helps with their perceptions as this harsh, conservative village.

Also his Mom was from the aboriginal tribes of Suna and so getting connected with that part of himself feels like getting closer to her.

Lee Officially Courts Gaara following Sunan tradition (w/ lots of help from Tem, Kank, team Gai) in front of the whole village, my guy is a romantic and audacious af and really it sweeps Gaara right up off his feet.

Established relationship, Gaara is seriously outrageous with PDA, very much likes to flex his Lee because he didn't think he'd ever have anything close to a loving partner and Lee eats it up(blushing profusely). They're so gross and in love that whoever invites them anywhere will receive a formal warning about their behavior.

The sand sibs have a punk band together for funsies. It's mostly Kanks hobby, but post chuunin Baki shares a couple old man cd's with them and they just start banging out songs here and there to spend more time together and process their feelings in an abstract way.

(I project my gender onto Gaara a lil too; uses he/him cuz that's what everyone is used to but doesn't necessarily think of himself as anything specific genderwise, he was just a monster for twelve years afterall. Dabbles with feminity sometimes but doesn't think too hard about it.)

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

RIGHT @littlemisscactus I CONQUERED microsoft paint. Go me. I'm only... 27 lmao.

Anyway... here's 'My Ship in 5 Minutes' for Steelweave Tav and Rolan! Excuse the atrocious fills. I started that way, realised there was a better way, and decided to proceed with the mess anyway lol. I think from this I'm seeing that I like to write characters who are both very intense about each other…

My personal opinion on Rolan and PDA (since it comes up a lot in this, and in Sharp Teeth!) is that he gets embarrassed about it in front of his siblings, but although he cares about maintaining a smart and competent Archmage image generally, he also doesn't really give a fuck about random people he doesn't know. They're a bit beneath his notice... so it's not his problem if they see Tav has her arm round him. (Ok, well, he might blush a bit if she kisses him romantically, but he adores her so who cares?). And for horny PDA... they're both so horny they basically forget anyone else exists.

Honestly, they're both quite similar people - determined, protective of each other, confident.... but Tav is more flexible and Rolan is more single-minded; Tav is more inclined to happiness and Rolan to stress. Tav's a bit better at picking up on when Rolan's dealing with something than vice versa, but she can't always tell exactly what the problem is!

And then needs structure/needs freedom: I think Tav discovers that she's better outside of the army, encountering lots of new challenges and making her own decisions. Meanwhile, Rolan does best once he's settled into the Tower and its routine.

Day-to-day, Rolan talks more - mostly about magic - and Tav listens and appreciates him. She does share herself, but she's less prone to long trains of thought and tends to the practical. (Did I mention she adores him too? And definitely listening to him talk about magic!) The one exception to this is in conflict/emotional difficulty, where Tav will usually be the first to express herself and open up a subject.

As for jealousy - well, I think they both know the other is their everything. But given Tav's the more gregarious and well-liked one, Rolan might have more cause to be jealous... but really, it just doesn't factor in for either of them.

I put them both tending a smidge towards co-dependent just because although on a practical level they can both function well, they're very dependent on each other for working through emotional stuff. Whilst Rolan loves Cal and Lia very much, he hates taking advice from them and generally, because of being their older brother, has avoided burdening them with his inner struggles. Similarly, Tav's closest friends scatter to the four winds post-game, so he is always her closest confidant. But they're happy like that.

OK, I think that's it! This was fun and got me thinking about a few different aspects of their relationship!