#being hurt

[skyfulloffakestars]

[unwelcome-ozian]

[inlovewithquotes]

Oh, he won't sneak around behind my back with one of my exes planning to shorten my life again? Very noble of him.

- Magnus Bane

[midnight-coffee94]

No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly

[akashicrecord]

no offense but if your friend is trying out a new hobby be fucking nice to them

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

imagine getting twenty four hours of a fraction of a taste of what marginalized bloggers on this fucking site have been told "doesn't break TOS" for the past 15 years and deciding to openly threaten to just nuke the entire website lmfao

[chernozemm]

want runs deep in you, heavy and thick, and the dam is creaking under its weight.

want is like dust, thousands of years worth of dust on your heavy shoulders and you dare not move. if you stay very still and keep to yourself maybe no one will notice.

want is like grief, love left unclaimed. want is like hunger and you are famished.

wanting is dangerous, so you smother it.

[nedlittle]

genuinely i think it's important for adults, especially in the plague times, to play pretend in our day-to-day lives. when i rub my back down with tiger balm so i can sleep without pain, i imagine i am a valiant knight tending to an old injury i received from a dragon. when i go to the store to pick up eggs and milk, i am a lone cowboy riding into town on a mission. when i turn my collar up against the wind i am a femme fatale who's killed 4 husbands and is scoping out a 5th. when i stomp around in the snow i am a doomed polar explorer. if being a little bit silly about my walk to the pharmacy helps me remember that life can be full of joy and whimsy, then so be it.

[mental-health-advice]

im sorry to bother you. all my friendships ended up in flames with everyone hating and putting all the blame on me for one thing or another. i try and try and try but i feel like maybe im not capable of changing, or growing, and maybe i wasn't meant to be around people if i just end up hurting everyone. i dont want to be hurt again either. im too scared to try opening up again, even though i know thats not healthy. i just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Hey there,

It can be so hard when all of your friendships have gone badly for whatever the reasoning behind it. Whilst I completely get and can sympathise with what you have been through, you are right in that it’s not healthy to shut yourself off from the world around you and from people in general.

I want you to know though that sometimes in life, friendships will go badly and especially as people move on, grow and meet other people. And so do you think it’s possible that maybe the reasoning behind all your friends being so cruel and putting the blame on you for things, perhaps this was because they no longer wanted to be friends with you for whatever reason and so they went the wrong way around letting you go. If this was the case (and I am not saying it was or wasn’t) then it is so important to know that what happened, has nothing at all to do with you. Some people just go about things the wrong way and feel it’s easier to be mean and blame others for things not working out!

I guess what I am trying to say is that we may never know why what happened with your past friendships, but the reality is that it probably has nothing to do with you at all and you have done nothing wrong. I know this can be hard to see though so please do try to be kind to yourself at this difficult time.

I know how scary it can to put yourself out there again in fear you may get hurt once more and these fears are completely valid. But to deny yourself the chance to have some great people in your life isn’t quite right either. And so maybe you can start small in making new friends and slowly grow in numbers of your friendship group from there?

So start with one person. Get to know them. Start to feel comfortable around them. Talk to them about things, even if it’s just about life in general (you never have to confide in anyone anything you do not feel comfortable with) and when you are ready, try to expand on people you meet and go from there. Just an idea!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[captainkirkk]

I want to see characters being taken care of in an explicit and worshipful way. Home-cooked meals. Hair brushed and braided by gentle hands. Little gifts just because.

I want to read about characters who are not used to kindness being bombarded by acts of service. This trope works romantically and platonically. Give me found family and acts of service - all the ways a character is wrapped up in wordless, explicit care after years of cruelty and having no idea how to handle. I need it.

[animatedtext]

[obsob]

love is stored in the parallel play

[inlovewithquotes]

It hurts not being accepted for you are.

-Lucifer Morningstar

[r-18g]

REBLOG if you're IN PAIN or you want to suck on a FAT PAIR OF TITS.

[hanmegumi]

LMAO

edit: turning off reblogs because some of the people that are reblogging are extremely fucking moronic. holy shit