#believe it or not orange is my least favourite colour. cant stand it

[obsob]

anywhere i go u go my dear!

[worstloki]

Part 1

--[official naming and legal rights ceremony for Morgan]--

Tony: you know what would be really funny? Pepper: Tony... Tony: THINK about it Pep- how can you say no to this once in a lifetime opportunity? Pepper: Rhodey and Steve. We already decided. Tony: ok fine. FINE! I'll just give up the chance for our daughter to have two literal powerhouses watching over her Pepper: one of them isn't even alive! Tony, signing the paperwork: he was the dodgy one anyways! Pepper: oh g*d tell me you didn't Tony: too late. our daughter's got 1 thunderer and 1 deceased trickster listed as her ~*godparents*~ and no punishment you come up with will ruin this moment for me Pepper: its fine, this is fine, it wont even be legally binding since you can't have two male godparents listed so its invalid anyways, haha this is fine, everything is fine,,, Tony: i actually heard from Thor that Loki could be female if they wanted... Pepper: ... Pepper: TONY!! -- [later] -- Rhodey: dude did you seriously put LOKI down as a legal guardian for your kid instead of me Tony: well I wanted Thor but he insisted that I put Loki down too... something about honouring Asgardian tradition...? Rhodey: tradition is fine but isn't he DEAD? Tony: sure Thor thought he was dead 5 years ago, then again 4 years ago, and then again 2 years ago... but if he was alive he would have already, statistically speaking, shown up by now Rhodey shaking his head fondly: okay i forgive you for replacing me with Thor and his deceased brother, but the next kid has my name on it. I've already called dibs with no takebacks, okay? Tony: one kid is already keeping me busy enough, honeybear... 

---[3 years later]---

Tony: And. I. Am. Iron Man... *snaps* Thanos' army: *disintegrates* Tony: *taking his last breathes* Pepper: you can rest now... Loki: *shoves Pepper aside and pulls the gauntlet off Tony* Pepper and Rhodey and Peter who were standing around tony: LOKI ?!? Dr Strange: no SToP you cant juST do THAT- Loki, taking out the time stone: why not Dr Strange: if you change anything now it'll ruin the timelines!!! Loki, reversing time on Tony and bringing him back to life: that's not how time works, Dr. Supreme Dr Strange: It’s Strange, and- Loki: Yes, I agree, it is strange that you decided to let Earth's best hero die when literally every infinity stone is rigHT HERE Dr Strange: but its wrong to misuse their pow- Loki: Then it’s a good thing I'm evil and don't care Dr Strange: buT- Loki: no need to worry, I'm only helping you heroes out this one time because apparently while I was stardust Tony chose to give me partial ownership over his child so now i am bound to care for it  Pepper, remembering that Loki is legally Morgan’s godparent: oh my g*d   Rhodey: well, I bet Tony didn't expect this Tony, speaking in his sleep: frickity frackity Loki, looking at Tony disapprovingly: I agree.  --[a week later]-- Tony: okay, so like, i don't want to seem ungrateful for you saving my life, but i only wrote your name down to get Thor - Loki, annoyed: Yes I figured as much Tony: -yes but if you've saved my life I was wondering exactly how bound you are to help and how far you're willing to go to watch over her Loki: does this have anything to do with the 18+ end-of-the-world-celebration party at the end of the week? Tony: maybe Loki: *stares at him* Tony: ...okay, yES… do you think you could make sure Morgan is alive and well and safe while I go? It’s clear you don't appreciate being forced to be her godparent so if you do it I'll even get your name off the legal documentation by the end of the week and you can leave after Loki: If you so much as try to remove my name when it is THOR that has been neglectful of his duty and has been ignoring the implications of having a child under their name then I will have no choice but to hit you over the head with stormbreaker Tony: oh. okay. no name removing then that's cool i guess just please don't smite me or i'll dob to thor that you're going to try touching his shiny axe and have are regressing on your journey to goodness  Loki, pulling stormbreaker out of his pocket dimension: I’m afraid you’re too late to warn him about the potential theft of his favourite beer opener. I will, however, watch Morgan over both days of the party, IF I also get put in charge of the spider child and Wakanda's princess Tony, doing his best to ignore the huge axe: how do you even know about them, weren't you snapped for the past 5 years?? Loki: I understand that they're not allowed to attend the party either and will not have any parents or guardians available to care for them at the time... Tony: you're not going to try any funny business right...? even if you wont hurt Morgan how do i know you wont lay a hand on the others?? I cant just trust you to watch over a bunch of kids no matter how much bruce and thor vouch for your sanity Loki: you can trust I wouldn't risk scarring Morgan like that if you don't trust i wouldn't intentionally attack a bunch of literal children Tony: hmm okay I guess I’ll just cross my fingers and hope you don't relapse into villainy  Loki: wonderful. inform the children that I will pick them up 2 hours before the time of the party. Tony: need me to get you a ride? Peter lives close but Shuri lives just a tad bit out of walking range Loki: no thanks I'll be fine

---[at the party]---

Pepper: YOU LEFT HIM ALONE TO CARE FOR MORGAN?! Tony: he’s been doing a fine job of it while we’re around, and besides, it’s not like I left her with him alone or anything! Pepper: No, of course not Tony, that would be too simple, no, you left LOKI in charge of not JUST our child but also Peter, and the PRINCESS of Wakanda too Pepper: do you have any idea how badly this could work out?! putting aside the political disaster that would occur if something happened to Shuri the ethical considerations alone make strangling you very tempting right now Rhodey: Pepper, Tony would never do anything to put Morgan or Peter or even Shuri in danger... he knows they're kids, right Tony? Tony: Peter can benchpress a mag-lev and Shuri can design one in 60 seconds flat. I’m not concerned because they'll be fine even if he does try to pull off anything even 2% evil! Pepper: *not impressed* Tony: some sort of Asgardian binding magic was involved so he literally cant try to inflict any harm on Morgan, and that includes emotional distress just for the record, believe me, i checked Rhodey: what do you mean 'i checked', what did you do man Tony: Morgan wanted ice pops the other day so i told her to ask Loki Pepper: TONY he's a WAR CRIMINAL Tony: so anyways Morgan went up to the ally we’re kindly hosting - who literally takes residence on whichever couch is closest to Morgan by the way and it’s super funny to watch him move between couches every time she leaves the room - and he's reading when she asks if he'll get an ice pop with her Tony: and I've tried talking to him when he's reading and it does NOT end well Pepper: and you sent MORGAN to do it anyways?? Tony: and he said no at first, which was predictable, right? but then Morgan got sad and a bit teary-eyed and she asked again and when he saw she was sad he literally jolted in pain and he put the book aside and got up so fast to immediately lead her to the freezer to get some  Rhodey: so, what? he physically cant say no to Morgan or some wacky voodoo thing compels him? Tony: That is the conclusion I have come to with my findings, yes. It seems he can’t intentionally do anything to hurt her in any way. So Morgan and her new friends are completely safe, sweetie. Pepper: I'm leaving to make sure she's doing okay... Tony: I also installed cameras just to make sure no one gets murdered without thorough evidence to convict him, if that helps? Pepper: If you can get the live feed to go to my phone I'll consider staying Tony: deal.

--meanwhile, in Tony's house--

[Peter Shuri Morgan and Loki are wrapped up in blankets and watching The Hobbit. Loki is doing some paperwork and Morgan is drinking orange juice while Peter and Shuri share some popcorn] Peter: so are we going to talk about how we're watching a movie with the person who attacked New York with an alien army a few years ago or not Shuri: he was not acting of his own volition so i thought we were excusing that Loki, looking up: you are literally the first person to have mentioned that Peter: but Mr. Stark said that-- Shuri: footage of the 2012 attack conclusively showed that his eye colour changed before and after he had been subdued the final time, which was a phenomenon associated only with being under the influence of the sceptre containing the mind stone  Peter: he does magic though! it could be a trick or the cameras could've been too grainy to tell Shuri: They weren't. But the changes in his behaviour and speech patterns also indicate that he was being controlled or at least coerced to some extent. He's also sitting next to us doing paperwork and watching Bilbo sneak around a dragon. Loki: Congratulations, you are officially the only person from this planet for whom I can confidently vouch is not a- *covers Morgan’s ears* -complete imbecile. Shuri: Thank you. Peter: well, she is a genius Shuri: Yes I am, in fact I'm a genius that has the approval of Loki, which is even better, because I'm assuming he'll have some neat ideas on how to make a fool of T'Challa in my lab on camera more often Loki: I may have some experience in the making-a-fool-out-of-my-brother department Shuri: wonderful! we can brainstorm after the movie :) Peter: I don't have a brother to prank :( Loki: I can fix that Peter: ...what Shuri: yeah, what?? Loki: oh I meant that if you wanted I could legally become your godparent and then you'd have Harley and Morgan as prankable siblings Peter: you know what? I'm actually considering it Shuri: how angry do you think T'challa would be if I made Loki an official Wakandan by saying he's my godfather because I think that would get a hilarious reaction out of him Loki, nodding: According to Asgardian tradition claiming a godchild forms an irrevocable bond and he would have to accept that his sister has someone who pulls off legendary pranks keeping her safe from any attempts at his retaliation Peter: that’s so cool and i'm definitely accepting your offer Shuri: and I'm joining in because i have a folder filled with evidence that Loki was mostly innocent of the New York attack but some videos of us together pulling off harmless pranks would make fine contributions to it Loki: wonderful! Loki, holding out documents and a pen: just sign here, there, and there, Peter: wait you've been sitting next to us filling out godchild adoption forms this whole time??? Loki: well actually I started out filling out the godparent-removal forms because Thor is an irresponsible buffoon and i refuse to share custody with him Peter: do you think i could get ~*Thor*~ to adopt me- Loki: Nopity nope. Too late. You've already signed the forms so you're stuck with me, and I refuse to share any of my friends with him Peter: aww you called us your friends Loki: you have no proof i said that Shuri, pointing to the camera in the corner of the room: but that hackable camera does >:) [peter jumps over the sofa and is going to retrieve the camera for shuri to get the blackmail material when he gets hit by a pillow. shuri says 'hey that was not nice' as she hits loki with her pillow. peter throws the pillow he has at loki. morgan yells 'PILLOW FIGHT!!' before joining in, and by the time they settle down again all of them have missed the ending of the film and have to rewatch the last 20 minutes before drifting off to sleep together on the floor in a patchwork of all their blankets]

---[later at the party]---

Tony: sorry pal, I'm a certified genius and even I don't know how she managed to carry around and slip Morgan’s papers to you when that dress has no pockets and her purse is barely large enough to fit a small-to-medium-sized wrench Rhodey: it was probably the same way she switched your drink for Thor's godchild renouncement forms when you weren't looking Tony, whispering: I think she has CEO paperwork powers Rhodey whispering back: you're only noticing now?

[pepper and tony get home the next day]

Pepper: i still cant believe you left Loki near the kids Tony: and i still cant believe you didn't know how to check the live feed and decided to ignore me the entire night instead of bothering to ask. clearly deep down you trusted my judgement and the decision to leave the kids in Loki's capable, mischiefy, slightly-insane but apparently reformed hands.

[yelling is heard from the living room and Tony and Pepper run in to find Loki Peter Shuri and Morgan sitting around wrapped in blankets and playing Mario Kart and exclaiming their thoughts very vocally. when they are noticed all the kids freeze and stare at Tony. Loki mumbles something about telling Tony he lost the bet since he did in fact manage to keep everyone alive and at that point even Pepper is staring (glaring) at Tony.]

Tony, realising the kids have bonded™: oh no. what have i done.

[whatdyk]

Saviour (Pero Tovar x Fem!Reader) | Modern AU.

Part Two.

Warnings: Swearing, flash-backs.

Word-count: 1.9k

Chapter 2:

To your delight, the next week passes without fault. Though, it could be argued that your recent spell of good luck was a direct result of you not leaving your home.

At all.

For a week.

Since the incident, you had called your boss to inform her that you'd be working from home for a while, and thankfully, after explaining your circumstances, she couldn't have been more understanding. It wasn't that you were afraid of going back outside, it was just that you needed some time to regain your confidence. In the aftermath, you found that you'd had been sleeping poorly and were often forgetting to take care of yourself. However, as the days passed by, you could feel your old self begin to return.

Slowly, you resume your old routine of waking up early and getting in a good breakfast; taking pleasure in cooking once more. You also find that you can now relax enough to read and draw, and you soon realize that you're more than eager to get back outside and enjoy the changing seasons. To your relief, the city is on the precipice of Autumn and you're desperate to see the changing colours for yourself.

So here you are, standing in front of your apartment door, willing it to open. You may have only been away for a short period of time, but you find that you've actually missed the city. The cold weather, the sounds of traffic and your favorite cafe. However, as you ready yourself to leave, you hadn't expected this level of anxiety to come biting at your heels.

Taking a deep breath, your heart thumps against your chest and your knees feel weak as you step forward to unlock the door. Unlatching the chain and screwing your eyes shut, you twist the knob with an almost white-knuckle grip.

"Señorita?"

You jump back slightly as the first thing you're met with is big, brown eyes. So familiar and yet so foreign at the same time. The man that you have come to recognise is stood just a foot away from your door as it opens, his fist raised as if he was about to knock. As you look at him, your eyes must have been wide with shock as he begins to apologize. You watch on as his mouth opens and closes, but you struggle to take in any of the words as the room begins to spin around you.

All you can remember is that night. You can feel the phantom hands on your body, the cold against your skin as your clothes are torn from you-

"Are you alright?" He calls out to you again, "you look-"

You can't help it as a small whimper escapes your lips, tears beginning to line your eyes. Your grip loosens on your door and you take a step back, trying to shake your head of the haunting memories. What had you been thinking? You aren't ready for this.

"I'm- I'm sorry" you eventually rasp out, your throat suddenly dry, "I just, - I wasn't expecting anyone"

He remains quiet as he observes you, obviously unsure as to what to do in this situation. Though after a moment, you are able to look at him again despite the burning feeling of your embarrassment.

You clear your throat as you begin to speak, "Is there something I can help you with?" You ask hesitantly, unsure as to how you should continue. After a brief pause, he looks down towards his hands. You notice that he's holding a bag, and he's raising his arms to hold it out to you.

"I wanted to return this." He states rather plainly. It takes a few moments for you to recognise it, but he's holding out the bag that had been lost on the night of your attack. The black leather is sodden from spending a few nights in the rain and the handles have been snapped, but it's yours nonetheless.

"How did-" you begin, your mind lost in the memories, "where did you...find it?" you eventually question, taking the item from his hands.

As you reach out, you find that your fingers meet his; the feeling of his skin against yours bringing a warmth that causes your eyes to instantly snap up. For the first time, you can see his features in the broad light of day, no shadows or dim lighting disguising his face. He has dark, curled hair peeking around his ears and covering his forehead in organized chaos. In the light of your apartment, you can just about make out the fine grey hairs that are beginning to mix in with his chocolate-colored locks. Though, his eyes are exactly as you remember them, dark and deep; soulful as if they've seen far too much.

"I went back" he suddenly interrupts your musings, "I found it the night that it happened- I just, wanted to give you some time before I returned it." As he speaks to you, you notice that he isn't meeting your gaze and that his brows are furrowed in a deep frown.

"Thank you" You mumble as you place the bag down next to your feet, "For everything, you really didn't have to do this."

"It's the least I could do" He replies almost too quickly, "if there's anything else I can do, just-" His hands move to his back pocket, fishing around until he reveals a small white card, "call me"

You take the paper from his hands and turn it over, reading the name and number that has been printed accross it - Pero Tovar.

"Pero?" You question with a small smile ghosting your lips, "I can't believe I never asked for your name before now. Spanish, yes?"

At that, the frown set across his features softens slightly, "Sí" he hums back, "Although with what happened- I couldn't blame you for not asking." At the mention of it, you cant help it as your smile begins to fade. Though thankfully, Pero is quick to change the subject.

"However, I could not say a word to you since I still don't know your name?" He questions with a hint of apprehension, a slight blush beginning to caress his cheeks.

You smirk as you tell him and enjoy how he repeats it back to you. His soothing accent and deep tone causing the syllables to effortlessly roll of his tongue, seemingly experimenting with how your name feels coming from his mouth. Surely your own blush is rising as you listen in, feeling the heat meet the tip of your ears.

"So," he clears his throat, catching your gaze, "I should get-"

"Would you like to grab a coffee with me?" You interrupt before he can even finish his sentence.

As you look at him, your heart is now thumping against your chest for an entirely new reason. You weren't quite sure where the invitation came from, but all you do know is that you aren't ready to say goodbye to him again just yet. Though, as the seconds pass by and you watch him hesitate, you curse your impulsive nature.

"It's just that.." you start to ramble on, "I want to repay you- I know it's not much,"

"I can't" he eventually responds, "I have work, and-"

Shit.

"It's alright," You interrupt as he continues, "You don't need to explain yourself to me. Thank you for coming back and returning my bag though." You watch on as his gaze lowers to the ruined item at your feet, lines appearing at his brow as his frown returns. You shouldn't feel this disappointed that he turned you down, should you?

An awkward silence passes between the two of you before he finally speaks again, "Another time, perhaps?" He suggests almost hopefully.

You smile at that, but it doesnt quite reach your eyes. You offer a small nod as he begins to take a step back.

"Perhaps" You almost whisper back.

As the word leaves your mouth, you feel a sharp pang in your gut as he turns away once more, reminiscing about the first night that he had left you at your door. Taking a deep breath, you eventually close out the outside world and return to the comfort of your home. You were no longer in the mood to venture into the city.

--------

The night played out in front of you as all the others had done so already. You're in your baggiest top and cosiet socks by the time the sun begins to set, and you're sat by the open window of your living room. The flowers that sit in the vase here are almost dead now, but you can't bring yourself to throw them away just yet. They're a mixture of your favourites, including orange roses, white hydrangeas and eucalytpus populus. Their fading colours mirror that of the dying leaves outside, their smell reminiscent of the impending winter. You should have replaced them today. Yet, it seems as if your courage had left in the form of tall man, grumpy; with deep brown eyes.

Reluctantly, you had found that your mind had been with him since he left. Your memory seemingly retracing the finer details of face, ingraining them into your mind as if you would forget. You smile to yourself as you re-call the half-hearted scowl that so often graces his features. Though, if you continue on this way, you're almost certain that you'll even begin to dream about him. Unfortunately for you, it was a complete mystery as to why he was plaguing your mind so much. But after today, you doubted that you'd get the opportunity to find out.

After another long moment, you turn from your seated position and reach out for your phone. You hadn't recieved any emails or calls from work today, but you almost gasp out loud as you realise the time. You had been left to your thoughts for far too long, and if you wanted to try adventuring again tomorrow, you'd need some rest.

You found that your night-time routine never deviated too much. As you had been called so often in your life, you found that you were most certainly a creature of habit. It not that you don't like change, or are afraid of it, it's more so that you appreciate the simplicity behind order. An order that you had been previously denied. It's not a subject that you enjoy to dwell on, but thoughts of your past often bubble up during this time of the day. You do your best to push them back down again.

And so, you wash your face and clean your teeth, brushing through the length of your hair soon after. The plush softness of your bedsheet welcome you like an old friend at the end of the day, and you relax into them with a warm smile on your face. For some odd reason, you already know that you'll feel well rested tomorrow, with no need to worry about nightmares or haunting memories. For the first time in days, you're able to drift off into a peaceful sleep, because you already know who will be awaiting you when you get there.

Tag List: 

@computeringturtle @lackofhonor​ 

[tungledotheckersanonymous]

For the ask meme: holding hands, the color orange, corn mazes, Black Friday, scarves, chilly air, falling leaves

Holding hands: hmm... thats a tough one. Honestly i think yes soulmates exist. Doesnt necessarily mean romantic ones but i know for a fact theres people you were meant to meet in your life, permanent or temporary they had a positive impact in your life same as you had or have for them that it was meant to happen. Maybe its just my romanticising of life but itd be a very dull world to believe nothing was "meant to be" yknow?

Colour orange: cannibal queen and we fell in love in october remind me of autumn. Cannibal queen by miniature tigers has the vibe of a good roadtrip or drive where red and yellowed trees pass you by quickly. Idk just a good feeling of contentness overall there. We fell in love in october by girl in red is pretty self explanitory, i really like how its written, very soft wlw love song uwu

Corn mazes: hmm secret talents/abilities, none come to mind tbh but i am really good at that radio game where u pretend to be a radio announcer talking about the song thats coming on and you stop right before the singing starts. Not really a talent but 🤷‍♂️

Black friday: yall already know its the sexy^tm orange blue green patterned Patagonia sweater. Id sell a kidney for it. Its got perfect forest lesbian cottagecore vibes <3 first paycheque babeyyyy

Scarves: okay okay so ive got an answer prepared for this; well two actually. First outfit: khakis, blackbelt, punk sk8r boi shirt tucked in, black sneakers and denim button up. Second outfit: white cozy flannel, red tanktop, jeans(cuffed ofc), brown belt and canvas converse.

Chilly air: least favourite weather: humid. Nasty cant stand it i want none of it plz get rid of it. Favourite weather: rain at night or fog in the morning 🤧💕 those r the delightful vibes uwu

Falling leaves: calculator, wallet and laptop obviously 🙄

[botanistlester]

Sweet Pea (7/?)

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath. Warnings: Abusive relationship, violence A/N: Amidst the horror of this story, here's something cute and sweet! The lyrics at the beginning are from a song called All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks by La Dispute! Thank you (as always) to @littlelionsloves and @snowbunnylester for being my lovely betas! I couldn't do this without you two! I’ve also started making audiofics, where you can find on my youtube, skeletonflowers! Previous | Masterlist

Read it on AO3 Read it on Wattpad

-

Chapter Seven

Tell me what your worst fears are. I bet they look a lot like mine. Tell me what you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night.

-

It had been a few weeks since Phil had started talking to Dan, and today was the day where he was going over to Dan’s place. He was practically vibrating with both nerves and excitement. While he could hardly wait to finally get to know Dan in person just as well as he knew him through text, he was also anxious about how it was going to go in the first place.

Dan was everything Phil had ever wanted in a friend. He was witty, funny, and sarcastic at all the right times, but he also knew how to console Phil whenever he needed it. It was just strange for Phil to think that he had befriended his most valued customer, someone who he’d known for a year, but who he’d never really, well, known.

So now that Phil was finally going to his apartment? He didn’t know what to expect. He was walking into a mystery head first. What kind of flat would someone who wore grandma sweaters and who liked memes more than themselves have? Would he have framed photos of Doge hanging up on the wall? Would he have a list of his favourite memes on the fridge?

As Phil soon found out, only the latter was true.

Dan had just greeted him at the door with an overly excited hug and an exclamation of, “Phil!” that sounded just a bit more like ‘Phiw’ than anything else. He had then blabbered on for two minutes about how he was nervous to finally be showing Phil around, and Phil had only been able to quiet him with a large smile and an agreement that he was also very nervous. That seemed to be enough to compel Dan to give him a flat tour, waving his hands excitedly as he gestured to his favourite belongings.

It wasn’t what Phil had expected, really. Dan was such a colourful person, in both language and wear, that it took him completely off guard when he came to the realisation that Dan’s flat was decorated with monochrome colours, whites and blacks and grays. Phil pointed this out to Dan, who shook his head.

“Now that’s not true!” he exclaimed, grabbing Phil by the elbow and dragging him towards the kitchen. Phil didn’t know what he was supposed to be looking at until Dan pointed at the refrigerator, which was decorated with a million post-it notes and a few pokemon magnets. He had trouble keeping his snort in. “A source of colour amidst the dreary scenery, your majesty. You’re welcome.”

This time, Phil did snort, shaking his head and smiling widely at Dan. “You’re such a nerd,” he told him, and Dan just shrugged as if he’d already known that. Phil turned back to the fridge, looking over all of the notes, wondering what Dan could possibly need that many reminders for. And right there, smack dab in the middle of the fridge on an orange note, read ‘FAVOURITE MEMES’ in large block letters. Phil groaned. “Of course you’d have a list of memes on your fridge. You’re my least favourite person.”

Dan made a face and grabbed a pen and a stack of bright pink sticky notes from the counter. “If I’m your least favourite because I’m fun then I’d hate to see the dull fuck who has garnered all of your attention.” Phil watched with mild curiosity as he scribbled something unknown on the note before tearing it off and sticking it right to Phil’s forehead. “There. I think that accurately portrays you as a person.”

Unable to stop himself, Phil reached up and took it off, reading over the note. He almost couldn’t read it honestly, because Dan’s scrawl was like hieroglyphics, but after probably a hundred years had passed, he finally figured out what it said.

“Boring old man?” Phil read in a flat tone. He glanced up and met Dan’s gaze with his own unimpressed expression. “And here I thought it was you who was the old person. Considering you have your very own grandma sweatshirt.”

“Hey, I wore that to be ironic!”

“Right. Which is why you’re wearing a shirt right now that says World’s Best Daddy.”

Dan gasped, covering the words on his shirt like he was trying to shield himself. “I am a man who appreciates good humour, thank you very much.” He put his nose in the air, looking down at Phil in an attempt to make it seem like he had a mightier-than-thou attitude. “Not like someone such as yourself would understand something as complex and three-dimensional as humour. You disgust me.”

With a mock-offended scoff, Phil snatched the stack of post-its and the pen from Dan’s hands. In his haste, he almost dropped them, but luckily his butterfingers didn’t betray him for once. He hid the note from Dan as he wrote his payback on it before tearing it off and sticking it to Dan’s arm.

“There,” he said simply. “Now we’re even.”

Phil could tell that Dan tried to hide his smile, but it failed miserably when he read the note. The corners of his lips turned up and his eyes considerably brightened. “Meme-loving fuck,” he read, shaking his head and meeting Phil’s eyes. His face turned serious. “Is this supposed to be an insult? Feels a bit more like a medal of honour.”

With a snort, Phil shook his head and took the note away from Dan. He stuck both his and Dan’s on the fridge, near the center because they were obviously more important than anything else. “There. Now you’ll never forget about the boring old man who called you a meme-loving fuck.”

“You say that as if I could forget about you,” Dan murmured softly, and he shot Phil a smile that was somewhat sheepish. In all honesty, Phil found it endearing. He couldn’t believe how lucky he had been to call Dan his friend. All of his earlier worries seemed to have just flown out of the window as soon as he walked through the threshold. “Now enough of this sappy shit. I’m going to beat your ass at Mario Kart.”

“You’re on.”

Playing games with Dan was fun, but that wasn’t at all surprising to Phil. He’d long since realised that he enjoyed Dan’s company, so teasing and yelling at each other as they tried to destroy each other in Mario Kart was easy. Through this, he ended up getting to know more about Dan as well.

He found out that Dan liked to yell. A lot. If there was any chance that his victory would be jeopardised, then his voice would get so high pitched that it nearly shattered Phil’s eardrums. He cussed more than usual, the F-bomb dropping every two seconds as he slammed his shoulder into Phil’s. He was competitive, which could turn anybody away from wanting to play with him, but Phil couldn’t help but laugh at how upset he got every time it didn’t go his way. It was just endearing, and Phil found himself having the time of his life.

After they got bored of Mario Kart, Dan switched to Crash Bandicoot. Even though it was only a one person game, they made it into something they could both have fun with by passing the controller to the other person whenever they died.

Dan was the one playing when Phil got a text message, and he looked down at his phone to see that Nico had texted him. A grimace played on his lips, not because he wasn’t happy to hear from him, but because he hadn’t exactly told him that he was going over to Dan’s today.

Nico x - 8:46pm

Hey sweet pea xx

Nico x - 8:47pm

What r u up to?

Phil Lester - 8:50pm

not much. Chilling at home.

The lie came out before Phil could even think about what he was typing. He bit his lip so harshly that his lip tore slightly, blood pooling onto his tongue. He glanced over at Dan, who was sitting beside him playing Crash Bandicoot and swearing loudly at the television.

Why had he lied? There was literally no reason to. It’s not like there was anything going between Phil and Dan in the slightest. They were just hanging out. Phil had no reason to lie.

Except he couldn't stop thinking about how Nico would probably be mad if he was hanging out with Dan. It’s not like Dan and Nico had gotten along very well at the party, even though Nico had been drunk. Phil feared that Nico wouldn’t approve of his sudden friendship with the guy who pretty much told Nico he was a bad boyfriend.

His phone chimed again, breaking his fretful thoughts.

Nico x - 8:56pm

Can i come keep you company?

Panic filled Phil for a split second before he took a few deep breaths. That’s fine. He could just… lie again. No biggie.

Phil Lester - 8:57pm

Im actually trying to get some hw done tonight. Hang tomorrow? xx

Nico x - 8:57pm

Cant i just come hang out while youre working on it? I miss you :-(

Phil cursed under his breath, causing Dan to pause the game and look over at him with a concerned expression.

“You okay?” Dan asked carefully, seeming slightly uncertain like he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. It was nice of him, in Phil’s opinion, because they didn’t really know each other well quite yet and yet he still cared enough to notice that something was wrong.

“I’m fine,” he promised, and gave Dan a tight-lipped smile. He met his eyes for good measure, holding his gaze for a few seconds until Dan sighed and accepted his reassurance.

“Alright,” Dan said, smiling back at him, his eyes crinkling. He turned back to his game, picking up the controller. “But let me know if I can do anything for you.”

Phil didn’t nod, just picked up his phone and sent a text to Nico, spewing yet another lie. He didn’t know what was wrong with him or how he could possibly treat his own boyfriend like this. In all of his relationships, he was always really cautious to be honest with them no matter what. But suddenly, all of his values were crashing down around him.

He didn’t deserve Nico.

Phil Lester - 9:01pm

I miss you too :( but I really need to get this paper finished. Ive been procrastinating. See you tomorrow?

It was disgusting. He was disgusting. Phil would make this up to Nico, even though he didn’t know anything about what was going on at the moment.

Nico x - 9:01pm

Alright sweet pea. See you tomorrow, I love you.

Phil texted him that he loved him too before Dan was shoving the controller in his face.

“I died already. I call hacks,” Dan muttered, but he was smiling despite his frustration, his face so warm that Phil couldn’t help but relax slightly, the tension in his shoulder dispelling into the couch.

“Get ready, ‘cause you’re about to see the wrath of the Philinator,” Phil proclaimed loudly, taking the remote. At least he could try to hide his guilt by beating Dan at everything he did.

“The Philinator? Really?”

Needless to say, Phil didn’t end up beating Dan. But that didn’t matter because his cheeks hurt from laughing so hard and his chest felt so light it was as if he was flying. It was strange, how being with Dan could make him feel as if he had known the guy for ten years, almost like they were platonic soulmates. Even Chandler, who Phil proudly claimed as his best friend for years, didn’t have the same chemistry with him as he had with Dan.

It was nice and Phil didn’t even think about checking his phone until he left a few hours later. But even then, the fifteen concerned text messages didn’t dare destroy his high.

-

Phil Lester - 3:38pm

Saw an old lady get bitten on her butt by a corgi just now. Made me think of you

Dan Howell - 3:45pm

Was it her thicc ass that made you think of me? ;)

Phil Lester - 3:47pm

You wish. It was actually her impressive amount of wrinkles that made me text you.

Dan Howell 3:48pm

Ha. ur soooo funny. U should be a comedian

Phil Lester - 3:48pm

That’s the plan!

Dan Howell - 3:51pm

I’ll be the first to throw the tomatoes

Phil Lester - 3:52pm

That’s fine, I’ll just catch them in my mouth! See you at the show :*

-

Since they had hung out together, Dan and Phil continued to become closer with each passing day. The only person Phil used to really text was Nico, but now he found his eyes glued to the phone every minute of the day, awaiting the next text message from both of his favourite people. Now what he really wanted was for Nico, Dan, and Phil all to hang out together, and then his life would be complete.

That wouldn’t be so difficult if, one, Nico didn’t hate Dan, two, Dan didn’t hate Nico, and three, Phil had told Nico that he was friends with Dan.

Yep. He was in deep shit, that was for sure.

And Phil… Phil was the worst boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. On top of keeping the information of his newfound friendship with Dan to himself, he also found himself lying all the time when it came to he and Dan hanging out. He came up with all sorts of excuses when he planned a day with Dan.

Sorry, I have to work on homework.

I can’t hang out today, I told Chandler I’d study with her.

I have work.

So when Dan had asked Phil if he wanted to spend the weekend at his house just for the heck of it because ‘they are actually teenage girls who need to have a sleepover ASAP’, Phil had a moment of panic. How was he going to explain to Nico that he was going to be away for the whole weekend because he wanted to spend his weekend with another guy? Especially a guy that Nico didn’t like?

His perfect excuse came in the form of a well thought-out lie.

“I’m going to my parents’ house,” he said before he could blurt out anything stupid and give Nico any wrong ideas. He wasn’t spending the night with Dan because he liked him romantically. He was doing it because he wanted to, because Dan was a close friend now, because the only person Phil had bothered to hang out with lately was Nico himself.

He needed other friends, damn it.

Nico didn’t even bat an eyelash and just shrugged, giving Phil a sweet kiss on the forehead. “I’ll be here awaiting your return,” he promised, making guilt flood through Phil’s body, the knowledge that he was horrible stabbing through his brain.

He was off the hook for now, able to spend the weekend with Dan, playing dumb video games and finally being able to learn more about each other. Phil was excited, ecstatic even. Finally, finally he had a friend who he could play dumb games with and joke around with like there wasn’t a care in the world. It was refreshing, to say the least.

Most of the times they hung out, it was just that - playing video games and watching movies. Phil found out quickly what types of movies Dan liked, ranging from Baby Driver to Deathgasm. He was one of the most complicated people Phil had ever met, his personality and hobbies all over the place with no set pattern. One day, he’d show up to class in stupid ironic daddy shirts and the next, he’d be wearing the most fashionable sense of style Phil had ever laid his eyes on. He had designer clothing, which Dan blamed on his Theatre classmates.

“I’ve never bought a single piece of designer clothing in my life,” Dan told him after Phil teased him about the godawful potato sack jumper which had apparently been made by Kanye himself.

Phil didn’t really believe him, but he let the matter go. Who was he to tell Dan not to be himself? Besides, Dan rocked his style and he knew it.

Now, they were laying in Dan’s room in the dark. They were both on the floor because Phil felt weird about sleeping in Dan’s bed. and Dan felt weird about letting Phil sleep on the floor. So they compromised and were both sleeping on the floor. There was a bowl of half-eaten popcorn between them and Phil’s face was lit up by his phone screen because Nico was texting him and asking how his mum was doing. Phil told him she was doing okay and it wasn’t exactly a lie because Dan was wearing a shirt that said ‘Sewing Mum’ which made him just as good as Phil’s mother.

“This is the part of the sleepover where we talk about our deepest darkest secrets with each other,” Dan whispered after about twenty minutes of silence. He set his phone down, locking the screen, and turned over so he was facing Phil. The room was dark so Phil couldn’t see his face, but he was sure Dan was looking straight at him. “Tell me your secrets, Phil.”

Phil snorted and sent his good night message to Nico, putting his phone on do not disturb. “What exactly am I supposed to tell you? Who my first kiss was? If I’ve ever gone past third base?”

“I mean, those are great places to start. I’d like to hear about little awkward Philly fumbling through his first times. Sounds mortifying.”

Phil hummed and turned on his back, settling his hands on his belly. He closed his eyes, finding it much easier to remember when he didn’t have to worry about looking at another person. “My first kiss was Miranda Carsen. I was fourteen and we were at a birthday party. We played spin the bottle and she pretty much shoved her tongue down my throat.” Phil chuckled at the memory, smiling. “For a while, I thought I didn’t like kissing before I realised she was just a bad kisser.”

“Just as horrifying as I imagined,” Dan sighed dreamily. “I dig it.”

“Well what about you then? When was your first kiss?”

Dan grew quiet for a second, and then he let out the loudest groan he could muster. Phil raised his eyebrows but stayed quiet so he could explain. “Bryce Harper when I was sixteen.” Phil’s mouth immediately dropped open and he emitted a noise of surprise. Dan was gay? Or bi? Since when? And why the Hell had Phil never known this? “Bryce was my bully for a few years and would always tease me for being a faggot, even though I was positive I wasn’t gay back then. Once, he said some really hurtful things and I got really upset and started crying and ran away. He chased me down and, long story short, he ended up kissing me. I kind of liked it, which is how I found out I liked boys much more than I liked girls. But I was freaked out because my bully was kissing me, and I pushed him away. He never bothered me again after that, and that was that.”

Phil couldn’t speak for a moment. There was a lot of information that Dan had entrusted in Phil in only a short monologue. First of all, the knowledge that Dan was LGBT+ was making his head spin. Suddenly, he remembered all of those moments where Phil hadn’t been quite sure if he was flirting or not. Now, it made him wonder if Dan had been flirting. But knowing his personality, that could also be the way Dan just was. Secondly, Dan was bullied. Bullying was something Phil had sadly dealt with all throughout high school as well, so this was something that made them alike as well. And lastly, Dan’s bully had actually kissed him. And Dan had liked it.

That knowledge was almost too much for Phil to handle, so he ended up letting out a breathy laugh instead.

“That must have been so confusing for you,” Phil told him, turning on his side to face Dan. He tried to squint his eyes to see what Dan’s expression was, but he couldn’t make it out. “One moment, this guy is chronically bullying you and calling you names, and the next he’s trying to kiss you and be nice to you. I can’t imagine how confusing that’d be.”

Dan hummed. “Pretty confusing,” he said softly, in a voice that made Phil want to reach out and grab his hand. Not because he wanted to do anything weird, but because he wanted to offer his support. He didn’t though, because he had a boyfriend and holding other men’s hands was disrespectful. “That was a pretty rough time in my life,” Dan admitted after a moment of thought. “I had been in denial over my sexuality because I was being bullied about it, only to have everything come crashing down over me when I realised I liked it when my own bully kissed me. I thought I was sick, a masochist. Who the fuck likes it when the person who’s been torturing them for years suddenly shows some affection?”

Phil stayed silent during Dan’s rant, but he spoke up when Dan’s breathing turned heavy and he stopped talking. “You’re not sick, Dan,” he promised him. “You were just confused. That had to have been a hard thing to go through, and it’s not your fault.”

“I know that now,” Dan replied, and then there was a hand on Phil’s, one that was so gentle that Phil barely felt it at first. He was sure he should pull away, but Dan didn’t entwine their fingers, didn’t show that he was trying to come onto Phil in the slightest. He was just holding onto his hand as if he were seeking comfort, and Phil decided he could make an exception just this once. “I had some friends to help me through it and my mum was wonderful. I think the experience helped me be the person that I am today, so I don’t regret it anymore.”

The admittance made Phil’s heart constrict. He couldn’t imagine how strong Dan must have to be to get through something like that, to be able to look at himself in the past and be proud of what he’d accomplished instead of wallowing in shame. Phil squeezed his hand lightly. “I like who you are today,” Phil told him earnestly.

Even though it was dark, Phil could tell Dan was grinning when he said, “I do too.” And then a smaller, more quiet, “I like you too.”

They fell asleep a few hours later, after Phil’s throat had gone sore from laughing so hard. He hadn’t had a friend like this in a very long time, where they complimented each other so well to the point where they were giggling about absolutely nothing for thirty minutes straight. They could go from serious discussion one moment, to completely joking the next, and yet it flowed together easily.

Phil knew that he was the luckiest person in the world to have Dan as a friend.

Chapter Eight

[buttercup-bard]

Thank you very much for tagging me Allie @alipiee! <3 <3

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

Tagging: @totheverybestoftimesjohn, @morgendaemmerung89, @bakerstreet-irregular, @missmuffin221, @mademoiselle-lani, @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @lost-in-fandom and @ila-221b (Only if you want to of course! <3)

So I’ll put a cut before the actual questions because this really is quite long. :’D Here goes loads of way too specific and personal information you probably didn’t want to know. ;)

LAST…

Drink: Coke.

Phone call: My mum.

Text message: A friend of mine.

Song you listened to: Je veux (ZAZ)

Time you cried: Properly? About two weeks ago.

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: No.

Kissed someone and regretted it: No.

Been cheated on: Nope.

Lost someone special: Depends on what is meant by "lost", but yes.

Been depressed: As in sad, yes obviously. As in mental illness, no. (I hope I'm phrasing this right.)

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope, I don't drink (I just don't like the taste). Lots of fun at parties back in school let me tell you, I used to be the only sober one and watched everyone else get drunk and throw up.

Made new friends: Yes, of course. Back when I started Uni and also here on Tumblr.

Fallen out of love: I guess? I don't know if I ever really was in love with that person though.

Laughed until you cried: Yes. It's rare but it happens.

Found out someone was talking about you: Yeeeeah... Back in school. Like, a lot.

Met someone who changed you: Yes, quite recently. Like not huge changes, but it’s there.

Found out who your friends are: From time to time I'm reminded of it, yes.

Kissed someone from your facebook list: My ex?

Kissed a stranger: Nope.

Drank hard liquor: Well not so much drank as forced it down? #NeverAgain

Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nooo I take good care of them.

Turned someone down: Sort of? Kinda? A little? Probably? I have a terrible tendency to get scared and stupid and indecisive when things threaten to get serious and managed to chase someone away with that, so that’s something.

Sex on the first date: I've never been in a position where that was an option, but I guess I would not not.

Broken someone’s heart: I... don't know? I don't think so.

Had your heart broken: Not really, at least not by someone else's fault.

Been arrested: God no. :’)

Cried when someone died: Yes.

Fallen for a friend: Kind of, yes.

Kissed on the first date: I have never really been on a "first date" as such, but yes I probably would.

GENERAL

List three favourite colours: Orange, Green, Turquoise

How many facebook friends do you know in real life: Well what is "knowing" even? I've met/seen all of them except for maybe two or three.

Do you have any pets: Not anymore (used to have a budgie).

Do you want to change your name: Nah I'm good.

What time did you wake up: 6 am

What were you watching at midnight last night: I was asleep? :'D

Name something you cant wait for: I don't have anything I'm waiting for rn.

When was the last time you saw your mum: Sunday.

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Right now? I sort of wish I could take back/change some things I said and did recently? But other than that nothing specific.

What are you listening to right now: Cars driving by and birds singing.

Have you ever talked to a person called Tom: (This is so delightfully random omg. :'D) Yes, I used to know several Toms actually.

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: My inability to concentrate/lack of focus?

Most visited site: Tumblr I guess?

Mole: Yeah lots, for example next to my left ear.

Mark/s: I have some scars from stupid stuff I used to do as a child (mostly in the face/head area).

Childhood dream: I wanted to be a doctor actually. Little Me did not yet know that I can barely stand the sight of blood, let alone handle needles or knives. :’D

Do you have a crush on someone: Well yes sort of.

What do you like about yourself: Not much really? Physically probably my eyes? Character wise, maybe that I always try to be kind and helpful? And when I say try I mean it doesn’t always work.

Piercings: Nope.

Blood type: I honestly don’t know? I need to find out?

Nickname: Don’t have one. (Apart from maybe @missmuffin221 calling me her Hobbit. :’D)

Relationship status: Forever Single (Because I’m an idiot and a coward and prone to ruining all the good things in my life. Gosh, someone’s bitter.)

Zodiac: Libra

Pronouns: She/Her

Favourite tv show(s): Used to be BBC Sherlock, but that turned out to be shit, so. Dr Who, Shadowhunters, Lucifer, HTGAWM, Glee, Star Trek TOS, Granada Holmes, ...

Tattoo: Nope. I’d love one but I’m afraid of needles.

Right or left handed: Right

Surgery: I got my wisdom teeth removed (and some other spare teeth that were just chillin’ in my jaw).

Hair dyed a different colour: Nope. I tried to get it a bit lighter once or twice but it didn’t really work. Also I’m a coward and scared it wouldn’t suit me. (I'd love dark brown or red.)

Sport: I used to do ballett and fencing, also I love swimming but I haven’t been in ages.

Vacation: Paris? London? Frankly I'm fine rn.

Current and all-time best friend name: I don’t have one?

Eye colour: Dark brown.

Favourite movie: A few weeks ago I would have said Beauty and The Beast (2017) without hesitating, I guess it's still true though. I love almost all Disney and Marvel movies, also The Hobbit Trilogy and Harry Potter.

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: Both? Both is good? But hugs I guess if I have to choose.

Lips or eyes: Eyes omg eyes, eyes are beautiful.

Shorter or taller: Taller (since I’m tiny myself).

Nice arms or stomach: Stomach?

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.

Hook up or relationship: Depends on who it is with really?

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: Haa I wish... :’)

Miracles: I’d like to but no, not really.

Love at first sight: No. Attraction at first sight yes, love no.

Santa Claus: Nope, never did actually.

[acorpseontheground-blog]

hi let me answer 400 fucking questions

1. Name: Jace 2. Nickname(s): i dont have any 3. Birthday: June 1 4. That makes you (age): im almost 15 5. Where were you born (city): Vancouver 6. Location right now (planet ): in my house 7. Shoe size: uh like 8 womens 8. How many piercings?: two, almost pierced my septum 9. Tattoos?: no 10. When you wake up you're: tired and sad 11. When you're about to sleep you're: tired and sad 12. Zodiac sign: gemini 13. Chinese sign: monkey i think 14. Righty or Lefty: righty 15. Innie or Outie: innie 16. School: no Section Two: Looks 17. Nationality: im really white 18. Hair colour: like dirty blonde 20. Weight: idk like 140lbs 21. Height: 5′10 i think 22. Braces? no 23. Glasses? no Section Three: Private Life 24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: yeah 25. If so, who?: uh someone who was not interested in me at all for 7 months  26. If not, do you have a crush on someone?: i mean 27. Who has a crush on you?: i mean  28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf?: no that shit is disgusting dont talk to me if you do that  29. Who was your first kiss: someone that i no longer talk to. dont regret it being them though 30. Who was your last kiss: my bf  31. Are you a virgin?: uh  32. Ever had a threesome before?: no  33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?: no whattheufkc 34. Have you ever been in love?: yes  35. Broken any hearts?: most likely  36. Got your heart broken?: well i broke up with someone idk if that counts as having my heart broken but i was devastated but i had to do it sooo idk   37. Ever liked a friend? yes ive only really liked 2 people and theyve been my friends because i cant trust people 38. What happened? they have liked me back at some point Section Four: Past Relationships 39. How many relationships have you been in?: two 40. How many were serious enough to count: two? 41. Who were those serious ones: first kiss, my bf 42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: uhhhhh ig first kiss 43. What made them different: i really liked their personality and the way they presented/ i was head over heels for them for like idk 3 years 44. What happened: i wasnt mature enough to handle myself 45. Best boy/girlfriend: my fucking GIRLS taylor and claire 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: someone i recently cut off contact with  47. Ever been kissed: yes 48. Who do you want back: uhgdjgkjdfhgkjd goodbye 49. Who do you regret: no one, i think all experiences are good and if i regret someone i would hace never gotten those Experience Points 50. Why?: n/a Section Five: Favourites 51. Song: shit uhhhh like or like like by miniature tigers?? or falling for you by mxmtoom and peachy?? or cherub rock by the smashing pumpkins idk my taste is wack 52. Movie: as you are but i shared it with the person i recently cut off contact with so uh 53. Food: bro. pickles. i even drink the pickle juice when im done with the pickles. 54. Drink: orange crush man 55. Store: shopping stresses me out 56. Television show: uh black mirror? 57. Holiday: hallo fucking ween 58. Book: words on bathroom walls i think 59. Ice cream: cookie dough 60. Sweets: m&m’s 61. Crisps:  wjat 62. Type of music: i listen to a lot? i listen to electronic, indie, alternative, rock, those sad boy hour songs really whatever i have like three different playlists for my tastes 63. Artist: really into teen suicide rn 64. Word: uh 65. Time of day: 1 am outside watching the stars 66. Dressing: like. salad dressing or clothes 67. Alcoholic drink:  i dont drink anymore tryna stay away from that so i dont revert 68. Colour(s): i love blue 69. Piece of clothing: my fidlar hoodie that concert was wild i got punched in the head 70. Character: DELSIN ROWE  71. Smell: campfire 72. Shampoo: idk i use whatever is in the shower 73. Soap: i use whatever 74. Smiley:  idk 75. Board game: definitely monopoly i live out the fantasy of being rich 76. Sport: i dont care 77. Number: i still dont care 78. Quote: idk  79. Animal: still a wolf shut up meanies >::((((( 80. Actor: idc 82. Vegetable: broccoli ofc 83. Fruit: oranges  84. Place to be: on the hill 85. Thing in your room: my guitar and my ukulele my fuckibng babies dont touch them 86. Gum: uh 87. Shape: uh> 88. Country: uh? 89. Mall: i hate malls 90. Car: idc wow im boring 91. Boy's name: br idk  92. Girl's name: idk 93. Family member: my sister sh 94. Restaurant: pepper lunch is kind of the shit 95. Movie place: we literally only have one movie theatre 96. Person to go to the movies with: my friends 97. Noise: idk 98. Brand of shoe: vans theyre comfy 99. Brand of clothing: idk 100. Body part of a chicken: the gobble part the fuck is that called 101. Swear word: uh? fuck? 102. Month: october 103. Possession: ukulele and guitar again 104. Team: ? 105. Season: winter it’s cold and people can’t bully me for being pale 106. Radio station: who listens to the radio 107. Magazine: who reads magazines 108. Favourite grade: none they were all stressful 109. Least favourite grade: grade 1 110. Teacher: mme martin 111. Least favourite teacher: mme leclerc 112. Subject: band 113. Subject to talk about: music Section Six: Family 114. Who's your mum?: my mom 115. Who's your dad?: my dad 116. Any step-parents?: no 117. Any brothers?: yes 118. Any Sisters?: yes 120. Coolest: brother/sister 121. Loudest: my parents fuck 122. Best relative: uh 123. Worse relative: someone who hit on my sister 124. Do you get along with your parents? sometimes 125. With your siblings? yes 126. Does anyone understand you? lmao ugh no one understands me;((((( 127. Do you have any pets?:  yes 128. If so, what kind and name? dog, cat, rosie, thea 129. If not, what do you want as a pet?: i want a snake so bad Section Seven: School 131. Are you still in school? yes 132. Did you drop out?: yes 133. Your current GPA: idk what that is 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: both, sometimes we cant afford anything so like i just dont eat 135. ABC's?: what 136. Favorite class: band 137. Play any sports at school?: no 138. Are you popular? HAHA no 139. Favourite memory: uh when i failed three classes i loved that :) 140. Most humiliating moment: idk 141. Most funniest moment: bro idk 142. Most scared moment: when i thought my school was gonna be shot up lmfao Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear 145. Chicken: bacawk 146. Dog: bark 147. Christina Aguilera: oUOouIA 148. Ricky Martin: who 149. 50 cent: bottle full of bub 150. Poop: uh 151. Beach: woosh 152. Desert: the sound of sand? 153. Water: woosh 154. Osama: oh  155. Love: the sound of when you are holding your breath and then you exhale because they left but you didnt realize you were holding your breath 156. Your little brother: i  157. Butt: what 158. Clowns: get that shit away 159. Wonder: wahtr 16o. Brown: brrpoqn 161. Banana: peeling noise 162. Sex: moaning?? 163. Parents: yelling 164. Homosexuals: what 165. God: nothing Section Nine: Do you believe in 166. God: idk not really 167. Heaven: idk 168. Devil: idk 169. Hell: idk 170: Boogy man: no 171. Closet Monsters: no but im always paranoid someone is in my closet 172. Fortune tellings: no 173. Magic:  idk 174. Love at first sight: idk 175. Ghosts: yes 176. Voo-doo dolls: no? 177. Reincarnation: maybe 178. Yourself: no Section Ten: Do you 179. Smoke: not cigs, i’ll vape but i dont have one of my own, and if you got weed and want me to smoke it with you sure 180. Do drugs: weed? 181. Drink alcohol: not anymore 182. Cuss: yeah 183. Sing in the shower: yeah 184. Like school: no 185. Want to get married: yeah 186. Type with all of your fingers: on the computer not really only my middle and index finger 187. Think you're attractive: not really 188. Drink and drive: no ive had some horrible experiences 189. Snore: i dont think so 190. Sleep walk: used to 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: yes omg  Section Eleven: Have you ever 192. Flashed someone: no 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: haha yeah 194. Told that person how you felt: yeah 195. Been arrested: n o 196. Gone to jail or juve: no 197. Skateboarded: yes im so fucking bad at it though 198. Skinny dipped: no 199. Rock climbed: yes 200. Killed someone: no 201. Watched porn: yes 202. Gone on a road trip: yes 203. Went out of the country: yes 204. Talked back to an adult: yes 205. Broken a law: yes 206. Got pulled over: no i cant drive 208: Cried to get out of trouble: no 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: yeah  210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: no 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: no 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: yeah 213. Moon someone: no 214. Shop-lifted: no 215. Worked at McDonald's: no 216. Eaten a dog: no 217. Give money to a homeless person: yeah 218. Glued your hand to yourself:  no 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: yeah 220. Had a one night stand: no 221. Smoked: not cigs 222. Done drugs: weed 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: i dont think so? 224. Slap someone for being stupid: lightly 225. Had cyber sex: no 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: at one point in my life i wanted to die because of it 227. Caught someone doing something: yeah 228. Played a game that removes clothing: no 229. Cried during a movie: yeah 230. Cried over someone: yeah 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: no 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: no 233. Ran away from home: yeah 234. Cheated on a test: yeah Section Twelve: Would you 235. Bungee jump: yes pls 236. Sky dive: yes 237. Swim with dolphins: yes 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: no 239. Try to be the opposite sex: oh 240. Lie to the police: no 241. Run from the police: idk depends on the situation probably not 242. Lie to your parents:yeah 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: no ew 244. Be an exotic dancer: no 245. NQ- Kill the president: dont have a president Section Thirteen: Are you 246. Shy: not shy 247. Loud: no 248. Nice: i think? im also kind of an asshole 249: Outgoing: not outgoing 250: Quiet: kind of 251. Mean: sometimes 252. Emotional: yeah? 253. Sensitive: no 254. Gay: no 255. Strong: uh idk 256. Weak: not physically 257. Caring: yes 258. Dangerous: no 259. Crazy: no 260. Spontaneous: no? 261. Funny: ive been told 262. Sweet: idk 263. Sharing: yeah 264. Responsible: yeah 265. Trustworthy: yeah 266. Open-minded: yeah 267. Creative: i guess 268. Cute: uh no 269. Slick: idk 270. Smart: no 271. Dumb: no 272. Evil: no 273. Ghetto: no 274. Classy:  no 275. Photogenic: sometimes 276. Dependable: yeah ive made some mistakes though 277. Greedy: no 278. Ugly: no? 279. Messy: kinda 280. Neat: kinda 281. Perverted: uh well im not asexual 282. Silly: what 283. A B****: sure 284. A Good Listener: yeah 285. A Fighter: yeah 286. A Party Animal: no 287. A Game Freak: i like games 288. A Computer Freak: no Section Fourteen: Future 289. Dream job: musician 290. Dream house: fuck idk 291. Husband/Wife: someone i love 292. Kids: like 2 293. Names: , 294. Pets: doberman pls 295. Car: idk 296. Age you would want to get married: like 30 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: idk 298. Honeymoon: idk Section Fifteen: Your friends 299. Best friends: taylor, claire 300. Known the longest: taylor 301. Craziest: taylor 302. Loudest: claire 303. Shyest: taylor 304. Best hair: i love them all 305. Best eyes: taylor has like multicoloured eyes 306. Best body: bro no 307. Most Athletic: claire 308. Hot-Tempered: both 309. Most impatient: idk 310. Shortest: taylor 311. Tallest: claire 312. Skinniest: uh skinnier is taylor shes smaller in general 313. Best singer: idk neither of them sing 314. Funniest: both 315. Can always make you laugh: both 316. Wish you talked to more: i have like 3 friends so keira 317. Wish you saw more: keira 318. Who drives you insane after a while: claire 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: taylor 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': no 321. Whose always been there when you need them: taylor and claire 322. Who is like your family: taylor and claire 323. How many friends do you have?: 4 324. How many are really close? 2 Section Sixteen: The last 325. Thing you ate: burger 326. Thing you drank: water 327. Thing you wore: im in shorts and a hoodie right now? 328. Thing you did:  dog walk 329. Place you went: dog park 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: my ears 331. Person you saw: my mom 332. Person you hugged: my mom  333. Person you kissed: my bf 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: idk but id like to beat some people to a juicy pulp 335. Person you talked to online: this bitch thunder that is annoying we dont talk anymore shut the fuck up bro 336. Person you talked to on the phone: my call log says my mom 337. Song you heard: beach walk by whitewoods 338. Show you saw: like concert? fidlar 339. Time you fought with your parents: idk like today 340. Time you fought with a friend: idk 341. Words you said: “yeah”  Section Seventeen: Now 343. What are you eating: burger 344. What are you drinking: water 345. What are you thinking: miss 346. What are you wearing: shorts and a hoodie 347. What are you doing: writing this 349. Hair: messy? im sick 350. Mood: gross 351. Listening to:  nothing 352. Talking to anyone: no 353. Watching anything: mr nightmare Section Eighteen: Yes or No 354. Are you a vegetarian: no 355. Are you a carnivore: no 356. Are you heterosexual: no 357. Do you like penguins: yes 358. Do you write poetry: sometimes? i dont share it 359. Do you see stupid people: yes 360. You + Me: uh 361. Do you like the Osbournes: never really watched it 362. Can you see flying pigs: egrhf 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: no 364. Are you from Afghanistan: no 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: no  366. Are you a zombie: no 367. Am i annoying you: yes 368. Do you bite your nails: yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: no 371. Have you touched someone's private part: yes why would you word it like private part Section Nineteen: This or That 372. Winter or Summer: winter 373. Spring or Autumn: autumn im quirky hahahahahahha 374. Shakira or Britney: neither 375. MTV or VH1: neither 376. Black or White: mix of both is good 377. Yellow or Pink: pink 378. Football or Basketball: basketball 379. Mobile Phone or Pager: mobile phone 380. Pen or Pencil: pencil i feel safer 381. Cold or Hot: cold it’s easier to warm up than to cool down 382. Tattoos or Piercings: piercings but i want a small tattoo 383. Inside or Outside: uh both 384. Weed or Alcohol: weed 385. Coke or Pepsi: coke 386. Tape or Glue: tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: mcdonalds Section Twenty: Opinions 388. What do you think about classical music: love it! 389. About boy bands: sure! 390. About suicide: i dont think people understand that someone who is suicidal, their perception is collapsed. even though they subconsciously know they have other options, they believe with every bit of them that is their one and only choice.  391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: choke  392. About teen pregnancy: make sure you can handle the child and have support. if not, get an abortion or put it up for adoption. seriously. only keep it if it’s something you want, not because you were being shamed. 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: on hastings shooting up heroin idk  394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: taylor 395. About gay men: love yall Section Twenty-One: 396. Do you have a website: no 397. Current weather right now: uh cloudy 398. Current time:  8:15 pm 399. Any shout outs: no one follows me 400. Last thoughts: fuck,