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[petitemistletoe]

Mamma Mia

Pairing: James Potter x Reader, Sirius Black x Reader, Remus Lupin x Reader

Warnings: smut!

Word Count: 4.2K+

A/N: Basically Marauders Mamma Mia

Massachusetts

“I’m going to find myself,” you said, examining the items in your trunk before nodding and slamming it shut.

“That’s not a proper response to the question ‘where are you going?’” Your cousin, Lily, was lying on her stomach on your bed, thumbing through the latest edition of a British newspaper. 

“Yeah,” Mary said with a shrug of her shoulders, popping another piece of your maple candy in her mouth.

“Don’t eat all the sweets!” Marlene said with an indignant huff, handing you her remember-ball. 

“Thanks Marls,” you said, popping open your trunk again and wrapping the ball in one of your sweaters. 

“What kind of sweet is this again?” Lily asked, leaning over and grabbing a piece of maple candy from the box in Mary’s arms. 

“It’s maple candy. They make it up in Vermont.” You said with a shrug. Your trio of British friends always appreciated your American candies. Lily had introduced you all during a summer excursion and the girls had decided to move to America to attend a post-graduate certification program at your alma mater, Ilvermorny alongside you. You had finished a year ahead of the other girls since you were able to combine your NEWTs with introductory courses to the program. You had been living in an apartment, you insisted to the girls that it was an apartment not a flat, with the girls for over a year. You thought about entering the workforce after graduating, but you decided that you wanted to take a three month long trip to ‘find yourself’. 

“Are we close to Vermont?” Mary asked. 

“Yeah, it’s right above us.” You nodded, drumming your fingers on your chin. 

“What are you thinking about?” Marlene looked up at you. 

“Do you think I’ll be able to find a place in the train station to exchange my dragots for gallons?” You hummed. 

“Galleons, love, and no. You’ll have to go to Diagon Alley. It’s in London, not too far from the station. I’ll draw you a map.” Lily said, summoning a piece of parchment. 

“No Lily,” you held your hand up, “that defeats the whole purpose of what I’m doing. I’m going to travel across a few countries in Europe and find my way myself.” You shut your trunk again and nodded. 

“Is it time?” Mary asked, setting down the candies. 

“Okay,” you said with a sad smile, “no tears! It’s only three months! I’ll be back at the end of the summer.” The girls are wrapped their arms around you, hugging you tightly and placing kisses on the top of your head. 

“Good luck, darling.” Lily smiled. 

“Be safe!” Marlene called. 

“Have lots of hot sex!” Mary laughed. You laughed and gave a small wave before taking a deep breath and apparating to the center of London. 

London

It was the middle of June in London. You had packed dresses, and skirts, and shorts, and tank tops, and tops that barely covered your midriff. But it was the middle of June in London, so it was pouring rain and it was very chilly. Within a few minutes of you being outside, you were soaking wet. You were wiping the rain from your eyes and scanning for somewhere to duck into when you saw a sign that said: The Leaky Cauldron. Somewhere, in the deep recesses of your mind, you could vaguely remember Mary mentioning something about having a pasty and a pint at the Leaky Cauldron. You never could remember what the hell a pasty was, but you figured any magical place with beer was a good place to start.

You ran into the bar and seemed to attract the attention of everyone inside. You sent everyone a small smile before taking a few wet, sopping footsteps to the bar and pulling yourself onto a barstool, your trunk at your feet. 

“What can I get ya, love?” The bartender asked, quirking an eyebrow at your appearance.

“I know I must look kinda crazy,” you said, raking a hand through your wet hair, “this is my first time in London. I wasn’t prepared for rain.”

“Happens to the best of us,” the bartender shrugged, “fancy a pint to warm up?”

“Sounds good. I’ve heard Guinness is popular here.”

“It is. A pint of that then?”

“Yes thank you! Oh, I heard that you might be able to change my American money.” You said, digging around in your wallet. 

“Sure. You have one of those green dollar bills?” The bartender asked. You placed a dragot on the table. 

“Can you change that for a galleon?” You asked. The bartender released a huff of respect. 

“An American witch? Welcome to Diagon Alley.” He winked and you suddenly became far more aware of the other witches, wizards, and magical folk in the bar. “We have rooms upstairs. Fancy to stay a night or two? We can send your bags up and you can warm up by the fire with a nice glass of firewhiskey.” 

“Thanks. I’ll meet you over by the hearth then.” You said with a wink, taking a moment to wave your wand and dry yourself before snuggling into a chair with a thick blanket. The bartender floated over your drink and you held it up to him in thanks before taking a large sip. You thumbed through a volume of Quidditch through the Ages that had been lying on an empty table. Quidditch had always fascinated you. It wasn’t very common in the states, Quadpot being the more popular sport. 

“You are reading my absolute favorite book in the world.” A man said, sitting on the plush seat in front of you. 

“Oh is it?” You asked, setting your book down and taking in the sight of the man in front of you. Although Mary had been a little crass, you had every intention of riding around Europe…and you weren’t only talking about the trains. Your first candidate was an incredibly promising one to boot, he was tall, with messy dark hair, warm brown eyes, and a pair of round glasses. 

“You really have no idea who I am, do you?” The boy gestured to the bartender for another firewhiskey. 

“Am I supposed to?” You asked with an easy chuckle. The boy leaned in close and flashed you a smile. 

“I’m kind of a big deal.”

“What makes you such a big deal?” 

“I’m the chaser for the Ballycastle Bats.” The boy looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to swoon. But you didn’t. 

“Oh!” It hit you, “Oh! That’s a quidditch position! Right?” You thumbed through your book until you found the page that described all the positions. 

“You really don’t know anything about quidditch?” The boy quirked an eyebrow. 

“I’m American,” you shrugged, “I’m more of a quadpot girl.”

“Well, Miss America,” the boy leaned in closer so his nose was practically touching yours, “I’m James, consider me your guide to Diagon Alley for the foreseeable future.”

“James, I have a question for you.” You said, tucking one of James’s unruly dark locks behind his ear. 

“Anything love,” James’s voice sounded breathy.

“Do quidditch players fuck better than quadpot players?” You said with a grin. James nodded and matched your smile. 

“Why don’t we find out.”

You realized at some point later that James had never paid for his drink but you really didn’t care because James had taken you up to your hotel room and was deep inside you while rubbing your clit. You were on your back, his face close to yours as your right hand rested on his sharp jawline and your left hand was gripping his bicep. You didn’t cast a silencing spell and you were sure the other patrons of the Leaky Cauldron were cursing your name because you were screaming so loud. The firewhiskey was a warm blanket across your skin and your cheeks were hot as James pounded into mercilessly. 

“Godric, you’re so fucking hot.” James said, his glasses foggy and his hair sticking to his forehead. 

“Keep rubbing my clit,” you moaned as you jacked your leg higher and James was able to hit a deeper angle inside you. James connected his lips with yours and you moaned loudly into his mouth as you came. You squeezed tightly around him and James came a little after, burying his head in the crook of your neck and whimpering as he came, hot white ribbons inside you. 

The two of you talked for hours after, he tried to explain the rules of Quidditch to you and you would just laugh. James made good on his promise, too, he gave you a tour of Diagon Alley and wizard London before you apparated up to Scotland. 

The Scottish Highlands

The girls told you all about the quaint village next to their school in the highlands. You spent your days traveling the highlands, sitting in sweet cafes with a scone and a mug of milky tea, reading on a boat on Loch Ness, and visiting all the historic and gorgeous castles. You were going to spend your final day in Hogsmeade before making your way to your next destination. You spent the day wandering Hogsmeade, dipping in and out of sweet shops, joke shops, and little book stores. You settled yourself in a pub called the Three Broomsticks and sipped on a hot butterbeer while reading a book that you had found at Tomes and Scrolls: The New Edition of the Patronus Spellbook. 

“That’s a great book you’re reading,” a voice said, disrupting you from your thoughts. You rolled your eyes. Did all British wizards use the same pick up lines?

“Oh really?” You were sort of tired after all the days of apparating around Scotland and wanted a quiet night in the corner of the pub. 

“Yes. It’s one of my favorites.” The stranger said, sitting next to you. You looked up at him finally and took him in. He was tall, skinny, with thin light scars on his face and hands. He was wearing a knitted sweater and a very worn in pair of trousers. 

“Why’s that?” You asked, still uninterested. 

“I wrote the forward.” He said with an easy shrug, “Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you.” 

“Oh wow,” you were interested now, “it’s a pleasure.”

“I didn’t mean to disturb your reading, I was just a bit excited. The new edition came out yesterday, I was just nipping to the shops to purchase a copy for myself and have a drink to celebrate.” 

“So Remus, do you do other things besides writing forewords?” You asked, asking for another drink from the barkeep for Remus.

“Ah thank you,” Remus accepted the pint and took a long sip, “I am a professor at Hogwarts, I teach Defense Against the Dark Arts.”

“Oh, so you’re Professor Lupin then, aren’t you?” You said, leaning in. Remus looked down at you and gave you a wolffish grin. 

“That I am.” 

You had many, many more drinks with Remus as he told you all about his first few years of working as a professor and the various difficulties that came with it. He talked all about his new patronus research until patronus didn’t sound like a real word anymore. 

“I have a confession for you, Professor.” You said, a goofy smile on your face.

“Anything love.” Remus rested his hand on your thigh. 

“I have a fantasy,” you said, leaning in so your nose was practically touching his, “about fucking a professor in his office.”

You and Remus stumbled back on the path that lead from the village to the school. It was a gorgeous, gargantuan castle that was unlike anything you had ever seen before. You made a mental note to tease your cousin about her downplaying her school. He had a gorgeous office, with high ceilings, books and bars of chocolate strewn about various tables. There was a large wardrobe and about three cups of discarded tea resting on a nearby trunk.

“This is a gorgeous office,” you said, sitting on the corner of one of the large trunks. Your fingers ran over a long skeleton candle that rested on his desk. 

“Thank you,” Remus said, setting his book down and standing so his body was between your legs, “can I get you a cup of tea?”

“You could get me something else,” you pulled Remus down by the collar of his sweater until his face was level with yours and you kissed him hard. He kissed you back, pulling at the hem of your shirt until it was up and over your head. You stood and had to extend your neck all the way to account for the distance between you and him. His large hands went down to cup your breasts, gently. You realized that his hands were shaking. You pulled back and gave Remus a small smile. 

“We don’t have to,” you said, softly, “if you don’t want to.”

“No,” Remus said with a light shake of his head, “I do want to. I’m just a bit nervous. You’re so beautiful.”

“Oh Professor Lupin,” you said, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips, “you are quite a charmer.”

Remus lifted your head with his finger and kissed you again. You helped him out of his sweater this time and saw the long, thin pale scars that traced around his chest like the ones on his face. You kissed along Remus’s jawline and down his neck to his chest. Remus threw his head back and exhaled a soft moan. 

You kissed down Remus’s chest until your nose bumped against his belt buckle. He looked down and you and gave you a small nod. You unbuckled his belt and kissed up and down his length. Remus released a strangled moan and you placed a bit of pressure on his balls. 

“You can be loud for me,” you said before taking a deep breath and taking as much of him as you could into your mouth. 

“Oh fuck,” Remus gasped, gripping the edge of his desk. You continued blowing him until Remus’s breathing picked up and you pulled off. Remus whimpered softly and looked at you as you stood and slipped out of your own pants. You moved Remus so he was standing over you while you had your back to the desk and you hoisted yourself on, spreading your legs wide and dropping your panties to the floor. 

“Come on Professor Lupin,” you said with a smile, “dive right in.” 

Remus grabbed you by the waist and spun you around, pushing your front into the desk harshly. You felt him rubbing the head of his cock against your folds before pushing in deeply. You moaned and grasped for purchase on the desk. Remus’s fingers dug into your hips as he snapped his hips against you, again and again and again. 

His lips attached themselves to your neck and one of his large hands left your hip to grasp harshly at your tit. 

“Rub your clit,” he rasped. You started rubbing your clit rapidly, your moans jumping off the cavernous walls. Remus came and you came after moaning and sweating. Remus stayed inside you, resting his head against your shoulder. 

Remus left for a moment to nip to the toilets and you tried to apparate out of his office and back to your room in Hogsmeade but couldn’t. You didn’t feel that drunk, why couldn’t you apparate?

“You can’t apparate inside Hogwarts, so stop trying. You look like you’re going to pop a blood vessel.” Remus said, walking back in and holding a bar of chocolate out to you. 

“Thanks,” you took a bite from the chocolate and smiled at Remus. He walked you back to Hogsmeade and left you standing in front of your tavern with a lingering kiss and a bar of chocolate. 

Paris 

Everyone had always talked about dirty Paris was and you had honestly considered cutting it from your program altogether. Sitting on Rue Victor Hugo at a cafe with a croissant and the deepest, creamiest hot chocolate you had ever tasted as you took in the sights and sounds of the French capital, you were very happy that you decided to keep Paris on your list. You were even happier to watch the various European men make their way to and from work and pass by the cafe in their tailored suits, finely pressed trousers, smart sweaters, and loafers. You looked around you for a moment before snapping your fingers to light your joint. You waved your hand a second time to disguise your joint as a cigarette-a trick you had learned from one of your friends at Ilvermorny.  Lily would have had a cow had she known that you were smoking weed in public, but she what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

“Une autre chocolat chaud s’il vous plait,” another hot chocolate please you gestured at the waitress. She came around with a fresh cup and you set your sights on a very attractive man who looked a bit out of place. He had rode up on a motorcycle and took his helmet off, securing it to the bike. His ran a slender, ring covered hand through his long dark and shook his head as he got off the bike. He was wearing an expensive looking leather jacket with a thin dark t-shirt underneath, a pair of distressed looking jeans, and a pair of Doc Martens. He took his jacket off to reveal thin, winding tattoos on his arms and chest. You hoped he would cross the street and take one of the seats at the cafe. He was digging around in his jean pockets for a cigarette when another boy turned the corner onto the street of the cafe. The other boy looked quite a bit like the motorcycle boy but…cleaner. He was wearing a tailored pair of trousers, a crisp white button down, and a smart jacket. His dark curls were nicely styled and his thin, long fingers gestured down quickly so the cigarette between the motorcycle boy’s fingers fell to the ground. One of the second boy’s crisp loafers stamped on the cigarette and he pursed his lips. 

“Sirius, what are you doing?” The second boy shook his head.

“Shove off Reg,” motorcycle boy, Sirius, said, raking a hand through his hair. 

“Don’t call me that. My name is Regulus, you know that. You can’t keep running, Sirius. It isn’t sustainable.” Regulus looked at Sirius with an expression of pity.

“I just…I don’t care about it, Reg. I don’t care about any of it. You’re better at this anyway. You can deal with all that family stuff better than I can. Just let me grab a coffee and a cigarette and I’ll see you later.” Sirius did not wait for Regulus to respond. He marched across the street to the cafe you were at and you had to force yourself to pretend you were very interested in your menu. Regulus sighed and threw his hands in the air before coming back the way he came. 

“Madame, un cafe. Merci.” Ma’am, a coffee. Thanks. Sirius barked at the waitress. 

“Oui Monsieur.” Yes sir. The waitress responded, rolling her eyes. 

“Do you always eavesdrop?” Sirius asked, taking a seat at the table next to yours. 

“Sorry,” you shrugged, “you and that other guy put on quite a show.”

“Oh my brother Regulus? Yes we’re quite the pair.” Sirius rolled his eyes as the waitress set down his coffee. He took a sip and then paused. 

“Something wrong with your coffee?” You asked.

“You’re smoking weed.” He said, sniffing in your direction. 

“How do you know that?” You asked. 

“You’re a witch, aren’t you.” Sirius grinned at you.

“So you must be a wizard then.” You laughed. 

“You have to teach me that trick,” Sirius moved his chair so it was close to yours. You ran your tongue the bottoms of your front teeth.

“I bet I could teach you a lot.” 

Turns out that Sirius got off on pissing off his family so in hindsight it wasn’t all that surprising that he took you back to his family’s chateau in the middle of the afternoon. They were gone, out, at some event but Sirius pulled you to the middle of the drawing room in front of a roaring fireplace. You sat down on the rug and took in the warmth and glow of the fire. 

“So you’re a rich boy, then?” You said teasingly as Sirius pulled off his shirt and laid down in front of the fireplace with you. 

“Filthy rich,” Sirius responded, pulling you close to him and connecting his lips with yours. You did not break apart as he laid you down in front of the fire, pulling off your clothes with an animalistic intensity. Sirius was devouring you, his teeth and tongue all over your face, neck, and tits. He barely prepared you at all, just pushing in without warning. Your nails pressed into his shoulder blades as you looked at him, ready to snap about his hasty action when his thumb began rubbing hard on your clit. You had your legs wrapped around him as you were biting his collarbone to keep from moaning. 

Sirius pulled out of you and flipped you over so you were on top and he turned you so you were facing away from him. 

“Get loud baby. Use me,” he said, his hands planted firmly on your hips as you sunk down on him. You were moaning intensely as you moved up and down, the new position providing a new angle for you. You came hard, your fingers searching for purchase on the rug as Sirius fucked you through your orgasm. 

“Are you close?” You turned back to look at Sirius. He looked gorgeous, his sweaty curls plastered in his forehead and his hands heavy on your waist, a look of concentration in his eyes. 

“Uh, not yet.” He barked out, a vein popping in his forehead. 

“Spread your legs a little further,” You said, pushing at Sirius’s ankles. He did what you said and you sucked on your finger for a moment before pushing it between his cheeks and into his asshole. Sirius was moaning loudly now. It sounded like a name or something, he was moaning “Moony” over and over again. He was so loud that you didn’t hear the door open and notice people entering the house until Sirius was cumming intensely inside you as Regulus and a woman who could have only been Sirius’s mother were glaring down at you. You gathered your clothes quickly and apparated out before Sirius had finished lighting his cigarette. 

Massachusetts 

You were exhausted and thoroughly ready to sleep in your own bed by the time you arrived back home. You threw your trunk by the front door and called out, 

“I’m back witches!” 

Lily, Marlene, and Mary swarmed you, peppering you with hugs and kisses and beginning to hear all about your travels and see the souvenirs you brought back for them. You filled them in and by the time you were talking about your escapades with the athlete, the professor, and the heir, you were even more ready for bed. 

“Well have a good night darling. Also I’m so sorry but I used the last tampon a few hours ago, I’m going to nip to the shops in the morning,” Mary said. 

“Leave it to Mary to use the last period product in this house knowing full well that we’ve all been synced for the past few years.” Marlene playfully tossed a pillow at Mary. 

“Wait,” something dropped in your stomach, “you’re all on your period? Right now?” 

“Yeah, started two days ago. Why? You haven’t started yours?” Lily asked. 

“No. No I haven’t.” You started chewing your lip, “Anyone have a pregnancy test?”

“In the last drawer of the bathroom,” Mary pointed out as you shot up out of your seat to take the test. Your leg bounced anxiously as you waited to see the results of the test.

“Okay love, I’m sure your period is just all messy from traveling and-oh my…” Lily’s jaw dropped as she looked at your positive test,

“Who’s the father?” Marlene asked. 

“I…uh…I have no idea.” You said as you thought back to the athlete, the professor, and the heir.

[dragontamer05]

Look Below for pictures (and slight description for those unfamiliar)

You can vote/pick one based on what ever criteria you want. Which one you like best/ think you'd like, Which one you know, anything.

The Poll isn't for anything in particular beyond fun and just in general wonder what people think of these.

Though feel free to say where you are from in the tags / or comments if you reblog.

Poutine

A classic. Fries smothered in Gravy with cheese curds. Total comfort food.

Nanimo Bars

Delicious three layer sweet treat- Wafer, nut and coconut crumb base, custard icing in the middle with a chocolaty top layer. So sweet but so good

Butter Tarts

As the name suggests a very buttery pastry. Butter Sugar Syrup and Egg filling (frequently made with raisins or pecans)

All Dressed Chips

A wild combination of flavours that sounds kinda gross (imo) but honestly tastes pretty good. ketchup, barbecue sauce, sour cream and onion, and salt & vinegar. (Seriously I don't know how but it works and they balance each other out)

Beaver Tails

Long/ stretched out pieces of Fried Dough that well look like Beaver Tails. Basically topped with anything sweet. Basically and elongated version of the similar fried dough treat Elephant Ears

Jos Louis

Delicious Chocolaty snack that are NOT the same as Moon Pies. These are very soft kinda cake like in texture - compared to a Moon Pies more like cookie sorta thing.

Smarties

No they aren't just "M&Ms" For one Smarties Came first- technically started in the UK but they're a pretty strong staple of Canadian Snacks so it gets a pass.

Maple Syrup on a Stick / Maple Taffy

Exactly as advertised, hot liquid maple syrup poured on a stick over clean snow (or just directly into spots made in the snow) once cooled and hardened you eat.

[sycamorelibrary754]

Guardian Angel

Chapter 6: Compound Living

Summary: Your recovery continues in the Avengers Compound. You open up to Wanda about your past and have a heart-to-heart that may lead to something more for the both of you. 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: Sorry for the delay! The next chapter of Guardian Angel will most likely be posted after the holidays. I hope you enjoy!

Guardian Angel Masterlist

You might scream if you had to stare at another Jello cup. After being stuck in the Med Bay for two weeks, you craved something sweet from the shop. You were surprised that the food wasn't better, given that Stark could have brought up filet mignon if he wanted to. You were extremely grateful that you were finally leaving the Med Bay today, even though you weren't going far.

Wanda will be here shortly to help you move into her old room in the compound. The redhead had been coming to visit you almost every day when she wasn’t at home with the boys. It was the highlight of your day when she walked through your door and brought some much-needed color and personality to your plain old Med Bay room. 

With every moment spent with Wanda, you learn something new. Her childhood and the happy memories she had of Pietro, despite their struggles growing up in war-torn Sokovia. She waxed poetically about her parents and how her father would bring home American sitcoms she fell in love with while simultaneously learning English. The Chicken Paprakish her mother lovingly prepared.

Despite all the information you had learned about her and everything she knew about you, you still felt like you were holding back. You couldn’t miss the look she gave you when Dr. Cho said she couldn’t reach your parents, but you were too scared to mention the kiss you had shared when you first woke up after the accident. You feared that Wanda would dismiss it as a mistake caused by your shared vulnerability. However, you knew you couldn't avoid it forever.

Dr. Cho and Banner walked into your room, pulling you out of your reverie. "You're good to go," remarked Dr. Cho, passing over your discharge papers and aftercare instructions. "Don't forget, your first follow-up appointment is on Friday."

“Thank you both from the bottom of my heart. I'm incredibly grateful," you said, your voice catching with emotion.

“Who's ready to bust out of this place?” Wanda exclaimed as she rolled a wheelchair into your room.

Oh, great. My driver is here," you joked, wiping your eyes before Wanda could see. "Will you ever stop treating me like a baby? I've made significant progress in my recovery thanks to the cradle.”

"Definitely not," she declared as she helped you make the move from the bed to the wheelchair.

*^~^*

"Steve, Bucky, and Sam are at your apartment grabbing your things, and Natasha should have an update from Harper at the Candy Bar any minute," Wanda said as she rolled you down the hall and into the elevator. "You just can't rest and let yourself heal, can you? You have to be a workaholic," she mumbled.

"I have never missed a day of work, not even when I had a fever of 102," you proudly declared.

Wanda sighed and remarked, "I don't think that's the badge of honor you think it is.”

"Good afternoon, Ms. Maximoff," greeted FRIDAY.

“Oh, my God!” You exclaimed. “Who is that?” If you could jump up from the wheelchair, you would have.

"Hey, take it easy, it's FRIDAY," Wanda said with a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Tony's AI interface is seamlessly integrated into every aspect of the compound and can assist you with anything you need.”

“I notice that you have a guest, Ms. Maximoff.” FRIDAY continued.

“Yes, FRIDAY. This is Y/F/N Y/L/N. She will stay with us for a bit in my old room.”

“Welcome Ms. Y/L/N. Please let me know if you need assistance,” the AI insisted.

"Hey, Friday, it's nice to meet you, too," you said hesitantly.

"She'll be your new best friend," Wanda joked.

“Wow, Stark really can do anything,” you mused.

As the elevator stopped, FRIDAY announced your arrival in the living quarters. The doors opened, unveiling a breathtaking common area that left you momentarily speechless. It was undeniably more luxurious and inviting than your apartment.

"This is the lounge and kitchen," Wanda beckoned with a smile, guiding you through the space. "We always have some tempting late-night snacks in the fridge, and if you're craving something sweet, I can guide you to Clint's secret chocolate stash," she said playfully.

"Wow, this place is incredible," you exclaim, unable to tear your eyes away from the surroundings.

“What did you expect?” Wanda asked.

“I don’t know. You hear rumors about the Avengers Compound, but you don’t know if it’s true. Oh my god! Look at that plasma screen TV! A PS5!” Squealing like a little kid. 

“Yes,” the redhead confirmed. “When they're not working, you'll find the boys and some of the younger ones gathered around that ridiculous thing.”

“I want to play!” You declared.  

As Wanda pushed your wheelchair along, she reminded you, "Y/N, with only one good arm, we need to take it easy."

"Come on, I still want to play! I can tell them what moves to make," you urged while the redhead rolled her eyes.

Stark’s lab is down that corridor to the left, you can't miss it. He’s usually in there tinkering away at all hours of the night until Pepper comes and gets him. You can hear the clinking of metal and the occasional burst of flame coming from under the door." Wanda continues to roll you down a separate hallway, "Team bedrooms are this way.”

You passed a few doors before coming to a stop. “This is my room,” gently opening the door and pushing you inside. 

"Wow, Wanda, your bedroom is amazing," you exclaimed, taking in the awesome décor.

If you walked in a forest at first light, if you let the awakening green hues into your soul, that would be the sense that was her bedroom. There was a calmness, a serenity, a feeling of optimism. The same feelings you felt whenever she was in your presence. 

“Thank you. It’s not as fancy as some of my teammates' rooms, but I loved it,” helping you out of the wheelchair and onto the bed. “I did my best to make it my safe space. So no matter what was going on outside, no matter what happened during a mission , I could come home and find my peace of mind again.” 

“That’s beautiful, Wanda,” you said.

Natasha called out, "Knock knock" from the doorway.

“Reporting back from the Candy Bar, boss,” Nat said walking toward you.

You said, "Oh God, I'm almost afraid to ask," as you placed your hand over your eyes.

“Hey, everything is under control," Natasha reassured you as she sat on the bed. "That Harper girl has the shop running like a well-oiled machine.

"Phew, thank goodness," you exclaimed with a sigh of relief. "Do we need anything? I could place an order from here," you offered, eagerly reaching for your phone.

Wanda interrupted, saying, “Y/N, you shouldn't be working. Your number one priority should be your recovery.”

Grumbling at her response, you turned away and refocused your attention on the Black Widow.

"I gave Harper a heads-up that you were on your way. Any chance she didn't fangirl when you showed up?" You inquired.

Natasha commented, 'If remaining calm while accidentally knocking over a jar of jelly beans and spilling a kid's ice cream on the floor is being composed, then yes, she was incredibly composed.'

You ran a hand down your face, imagining your best friend's clumsiness. You said, "Thank you, Natasha. I owe you one. I have been going crazy not being there. It was a relief to have someone in there to keep an eye on the place.

"No problem, Y/N," she said, patting your leg with a comforting smile. "Oh, and one more thing," she continued, bringing her other hand out from behind your back. "I brought you back a little something." As she spoke, she held up a bag from your shop, the colorful logo catching the light. "Harper told me what you liked. The first rule of compound living is to guard your snacks, or they will be eaten by one of the boys," she chuckled, handing you the bag while sharing a knowing look.

"You're amazing! I've been craving some treats from the shop," you said, eagerly taking the bag.

I know," Natasha smirked. "The second rule of compound living is that I know everything.

Wanda confirmed, “It's true.”

"Sam burst into the room with a triumphant shout of "Delivery!" He was followed by Steve and Bucky, each balancing a stack of boxes. 

"Whoa, did you manage to pack up the whole place?" Nat teased.

“We wanted to be prepared for every eventuality,” Bucky explained. “We weren’t sure what Y/N would need.”

"Wow, I can't thank you enough, everyone," you exclaimed.

Steve eagerly declared, "Once we're done with our meeting with Maria, we'll gladly help you unpack," setting down the boxes with a reassuring smile.

Count me in," Nat declared. "We’ll see you in a bit, Y/N.”

“Bye,” you waved. 

Wanda fluffed the pillow behind your back before sitting on the bed beside you.

“Comfortable?” 

“Yes, very much so.”

“Is there anything I can get you?” 

"I'm good for now," you say with a slight yawn slipping out.

"Time for you to get some well-deserved rest," she gently said as she stood up from the bed.

"Wanda, wait," you said, gently touching her arm. 

Her gaze turned back to you, a look of curiosity on her face.

“I have something important to tell you,” you began nervously. “I'm recovering from this accident away from my family because my relationship with my parents has become strained. We've been estranged for a long time,” your eyes focused on the comforter.

Wanda's expression transformed from one of guarded reservation to one of gentle understanding as she listened to the admission. 

“My parents founded Onyx Petroleum in California in 1978. They're not exactly Tony Stark rich, but they're pretty close. Growing up, I always felt resentful towards them - they were never the kindest people in the world, and their wealth and status worsened it. But everything changed once I started researching climate change and the impact of fossil fuels. Seeing the sheer amount of pollution that Onyx Petroleum was responsible for was disgusting. And yet, despite all of this, they still don't seem to care even an iota. It's just not right.”

Wanda's reassuring touch on your thigh brings you back to the present moment, prompting you to take a deep, calming breath.

“Throughout my childhood, my parents never failed to remind me that one day, I would inherit and run the family business. When I turned 18, they presented me with a legal document that would bind me to join the company in an executive position after I finished college. The mere thought of it was enough to make me feel physically ill,” you look down at your lap as you recount the painful memory. "I remember the day I told them that I would rather live on the street than work for them," you said softly. "I had always dreamt of doing something aligned with my values and passions, and I knew working for them would compromise that. But they didn't take it well. The very next day, they cut me off and kicked me out of their lives. It was as if I had never existed to them." Your voice cracks a little as you finish your sentence and take a deep breath to steady yourself.

"Oh Y/N," she said, gently placing a hand under your chin and tilting your head up. Your eyes glistened with tears that threatened to spill over.

“I moved in with Harper,” wiping at your eyes. “I funded my college education using the savings I had accumulated over the years and pursued a degree in entrepreneurship. Upon graduation, I took a leap of faith and established the Candy Bar with Harper. It has been the saving grace of my life," you breathed out, feeling a sense of release from the burden that had been weighing you down.

Wanda didn't respond immediately. As you looked up, you saw tears shining in her eyes. "I am grateful that you trusted me enough to share all of this with me. I am so sorry that this was your reality."

“It was a long time ago. I’ve built a life and a business that I love, and I don’t think about it for the most part. But, when I heard Helen say that she couldn’t get a hold of my parents after the accident… I don’t know,” you trailed off.

I know the accident must have stirred up some painful memories for you. I understand how much courage it takes to confront such buried trauma," she said, gently placing her hands on top of yours. "You're an incredible woman, and it's truly a shame that your parents aren't here to see the amazing person you've become.

You nodded silently, then locked eyes with the captivating redhead once more. Those mesmerizing green eyes drew you in, leaving you momentarily lost in their depths.

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to about this. Or, if you're open to it, I can speak with Bucky about connecting you with Dr. Raynor. She's a fantastic therapist.

“Thank you, Wanda. Truly,” you said.

You thought the conversation was finished, but as you looked at her, you could tell she was deep in thought. “What's on your mind?”

I'm fine, really,” she insisted. “It's just that I've been feeling so guilty about what happened between us in the Med Bay. I can't shake this feeling that I took advantage of you when we were both so vulnerable at that moment.”

Thank goodness you spoke up!" you cried out, relief washing over you. “I've been wanting to talk about this for ages, but I was afraid you might think it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing and dismiss it," you rambled on. "And then I started to worry that maybe you didn't bring it up because you regretted it, and I didn't know what to think...”

Wanda silenced you with a finger to your lips. "Shhh.

You were unaware of the fact that you had run out of breath.

"Y/N, I have to tell you something. I've never felt this way about anyone since Vision, and it's both exhilarating and terrifying. From the second I laid eyes on you in that cafe, you've been on my mind constantly. And then, when I saw you in that car..." Her voice trailed off as she struggled to hold back tears.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either," you reassured her. "When I woke up in the Med Bay and saw you there," reaching up to gently stroke Wanda's cheek, "I knew everything was going to be okay.

Wanda gazed deeply into your eyes as she leaned into the warmth of your palm.

“It wasn’t a mistake, Wanda.”

“No, it wasn’t.” 

As she leaned forward, you could feel your heart racing with anticipation. Suddenly, her lips met yours again for the second time. It was a soft and tender kiss at first, but then you felt Wanda's hands gently cup your face, pulling you closer to her. You could sense a deepening urgency in her touch as her lips moved against yours with a newfound passion. In that moment, you forgot about everything else - your worries, fears, past, and future. All that mattered was the intimate moment you were sharing with Wanda. When you finally broke the kiss, your eyes met, and you both knew that you had found something special in each other.

*^~^*

After their meeting, Steve, Bucky, and Sam kept their promise and returned to help you unpack. When Steve knocked on your door, there was no answer. Upon slowly opening the door, he discovered you were asleep on the bed. Your good arm was wrapped around Wanda, who was peacefully dozing while snuggling up against your chest.

Sam hesitated momentarily, asking, 'Do you think we should wake them?'

"No, let them sleep. We can start unpacking the boxes," Steve proposed.

You awaken a few hours later, the warm afternoon sun casting a gentle glow on your face. Beside you, Wanda begins to rouse from her slumber.

"Hey there," you whispered, the weariness evident in your voice.

"Hi," Wanda said while stretching and looking up at you.

"I think we must have dozed off," you murmured.

"It's already lunchtime and you need to eat something. Let me grab you some food," she said as she glanced at her watch.

"I'm coming with you. I've had enough of being stuck inside all the time," you declared.

As the two of you sat up in bed, your eyes widened in surprise as you took in the state of the room around you. You couldn't help but notice that all your belongings had been carefully unpacked and placed in their proper places, giving the space a neat and organized feel. The room was adorned with delicate fairy lights that cast a warm, inviting glow around the space, while a beautiful bouquet of flowers sat proudly on the coffee table, adding a touch of elegance and charm to the overall decor. It was evident that someone had taken great care and effort in decorating the room, and you couldn't help but feel grateful and touched by the thoughtful gesture.

“Um, can FRIDAY unpack boxes?” you asked

Wanda smirked and said, "I don't think she can." Then she added, "In case it isn't obvious, I think the team likes you too, Y/N."

You found yourself completely astounded, uttering, "Wow."

[yikesitskennawrites]

The highlights of my year edition: 2023 to July 17th 2024

January 8th, 2023: I met my first boyfriend at my workplace. He was a customer and I was making his sandwich. We went out on a date two days later.

March 2023: I switched from night shift to opening and became assistant manager. I personally don't act like one because I never got a pay raise 🙃

June 5th, 2023: I moved out of my parents house and into a studio apartment with my boyfriend.

June 16th to the 24th 2023: I went to my friends university graduation before flying over to Las Vegas, Nevada to celebrate. It was my first time in a airplane and I loved it. I kept telling my friends that the airplane was gonna crash and the kid in front of me had a wide eyed look. I knew it wasn't but I loved joking about it.

We went to Tacobell Las Vegas. We saw this cute bird swoop in and land on the table.

Cereal Killerz, I had the oreo milkshake and it wasn't that great. By the way, my whole focus on this trip was to try out all oreo milkshakes I could because I love that specific flavor of shake.

We went to the Muesum of Death. I would add pictures but all the photos have flesh of donated bodies for science.

Omega Mart. It's like a interactive art museum.

The Rainforest Cafe, which was oof expensive. I got a $15.00 quesadilla because it was the cheapest on the menu.

Guy Feris Restaurant. I got trashcan nachos because it was cheap but I couldn't finish all of it due to how salty it tasted.

The Marvel Muesum. It was really just some marvel posters and statutes of the original six.

Dennys along the Strip. Second best oreo milkshake there tbh.

We went to this candy store that I don't remember the name of but it has a gummy bear chandler. I got this cotton-candy alcohol drink and it was amazing.

We also went to an ice bar, which sounds exactly like it is. I would add pictures but all of them contain my friends and I don't want to post them online.

We went to a Blair Witch escape room, no pictures of that; but, my friends did it as a little surprise because they knew I loved the Blair Witch movie. It's not the plot, but the acting that makes it great 😌

I spent my 23rd birthday in a airport to return home and the best milkshake I had was from Rubys in the airport. I have no intentions of returning to Las Vegas. It wasn't for me, I didn't like the heat or how expensive everything was. I didn't like the crowds, but what else would you expect for a popular tourists city?

July 16th, 2023:

I adopted a kitten. Her name is Pretzel and she has a bit of a bent tail and one of her pupils are bigger than the other. She loves to play with tootsies and she will yell at anyone she can.

July 22nd, 2023: I drove the seven hour drive from my small town up to Seattle, Washington for the first night of the Taylor Swift Eras Tour. It was hot and crowded and anxiety inducing because holy crap I've never been in a place with 65,000 people. I remember feeling the ground shake and it was because everyone was jumping and dancing along to her songs and it stimulated a earthquake.

September 18th, 2024: After being in pain and sick for a week, I ended up in the hospital because my gallbladder decided to expand to the size of a fist and it had to be removed. The doctors said if I came in a day later it would have imploded and I would be very sick or dead. They also said it was the biggest one they have ever seen and removed. I didn't want to go to the doctor because the American Healthcare system sucks. My hospital bill before insurance was just a little past $40,000. I only had to pay $3,000. Unfortunately, bad gallbladders run in the family it was just my time for mine. I wanted to keep it in a jar but they wouldn't let me 🙃

June 23rd, 2024: I celebrated my 24th birthday. All I wanted was Ruby's cake from the Nickelodeon show Max and Ruby.

July 17th, 2024

I'm doing alot better mentally. I'm thriving so much more than I was earlier this year. I feel like a Sunflower with the warmth of the sun beaming down on me

[sgiandubh]

The Couple Next Door - a very, very short overview and my 50 cents, in the process

With as little spoilers as possible. My first plan was to make a post per episode, but I quickly realized that would be useless (so much talking, already, plus a very plethoric press ) and risky (the more you write about it, the less able you are to avoid spoiling it and no, that is not this page's editorial line). You will have to do with this short review, instead.

This is the story of a botched swinger coupling experiment, somewhere in the middle of a non-descript, Truman Show-esque Midlands suburbia. Where nothing is what it seems to be and curtains always flutter for a reason. Adjacent storylines complement this sexy & risqué core, which I personally found more interesting than S puffing and panting on top of Tomlinson. Corruption, life crisis situations, lost late pregnancies, a hidden child, bigot parents looking not unlike Grant Wood's American Gothic odd couple (especially the mother, enough spoiling it), voyeurism and privacy violations - this is a LOT to take in. With a bit more tact when it comes to script writing (sometimes things are really in your face and almost didactic: never a good thing), it could have been BAFTA material. It is not, and no, Disgruntled Tumblrettes - not because of S, but because of numerous plot holes, useless plot devices that could have been gags but totally miss the mark (walking little old lady, anyone?) and an overall superficial approach. It's like trying to cram half a dressing into a carry on: burst at the seams it will or you will end up with odd bits and pieces that do not necessarily make sense.

So if you set your bar very high or are poised to watch it in contempt, this is not going to be fun at all. If you have no expectations and also no idea about the rest of the cast, you will find it interesting and enjoyable. I personally think Enoch is a perfect cast, as is the very intelligent Jessica de Gouw: she knows how it's done and she knows where and especially when to stop. Tomlinson, eh - not so much. I have zero idea about how she fared in Poldark, but here I found her inattentive, formulaic and totally cliché. She has some good intuitions, but she fails to deliver, especially at the end. So, that's a 4/10 for me.

Now for S, as I am sure you are all interested to know. After all, this is why I even bothered watching and getting a paid VPN for it. I will say only this: there is a before Episode 3 and an after Episode 3, by far superior. You'll get my point when you watch it. It's not OL, but thank Heavens, it's not Where the Starlight Ends, either. With all the indulgence in the world, I'd say 8,5/10 - not his fault, the script was brutal to Danny ('Take a good look' is a major, MAJOR eyeroll and it did make me spit my Coke). Also, that intergalactic arse makes it on screen for about 5 minutes, which is nothing- so long for Mordor's honest reviews. Last but not least: he tried, bless his heart, to help Eleanor, but to no avail. Sorry.

The most interesting secondary storyline is Alan's, by far. The press shite - meh, that was there just to give Enoch's character a job, I suppose. And the child - it left me completely hungry and there was definitely room for more.

Rewatch? Christ, no.

Overall? a solid 7/10.

Recommend? not to my mum, but to my best -offline shipper- friend, for sure. She'll watch for S and we'll cackle over the phone.

Potential springboard? I hope so, but he still needs a real, well written role. This is decently good, but still not good enough to showcase what I know he is perfectly able to deliver.

Home eye candy takeaway? Oh, come on, the one involving this item:

I mean, what is more sexy than a bear of a man carrying a washing machine like I would carry my purse?

[cherrycola27]

Star Spangled Seresin

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption. Political situations. Unrequited love, one night stand, military and political inaccuracies. Smut. 18+ Minors DNI. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

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Chapter 5: New Romantics

If you had asked Jacob Seresin what the best moment of his life was, you would probably expect him to say something about his Navy career, his family, or getting elected to the White House.

What you wouldn't expect him to say would was that the best moment of his life was right now, when his wonderful girlfriend, Jaycee, surprised him with tickets to the Eras Tour.

Jake was the second biggest Swiftie in the White House. You were the first. Just as Jaycee gave him his tickets, Bradley was giving you yours. Taylor was on her second North American leg of her tour and would be playing at FedEx Field.

It was a warm May morning, and you and Bradley were in a good place in your now, very real marriage. Jake and Jaycee had successfully been hiding their relationship for over a year now, with only a few "soft launch" photos on social media. Tonight, Jaycee and Jake planned to go public, and true to her journalism roots, Jaycee already had it planned out perfectly.

You had spent all day getting ready in your Miss Americana outfit before forcing helping Bradley with his Heartbreak Prince garb.

Jaycee had matching shirts for her, and Jake made. Hers read, "Karma is my boyfriend." While Jakes simply read, "Karma." He was so excited to put it on. His eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store.

The whole way to the stadium, the two of you talked non-stop about the set list and what you hoped the surprise songs would be. Bradley and Jaycee watched the two of you in adoration and slight horror. They were definitely not the die-hard Taylor fans like you and Jake were.

"So, Wise-woman, what are you hoping she does for a surprise song?" Jake asked you. "I would die if she did 'peace' it the only one of my favorite songs that isn't on the set list that she hasn't done. And I just know I'm going to cry when she does 'Wildest Dreams' and 'august'." You tell him. "What about you Jake?" You ask him.

"I will lose my mind if she does 'New Romantics.' It is hands down my most favorite song. I know she takes requests, and I tweeted her that we were going to be there, and I asked for it, so I mean, maybe she will?" Jake said hopefully.

Jaycee sat back in her chair and smirked. Little did Jake know, Jaycee had been planning this for weeks, and she'd already planted the seed with Taylor's creative team for "New Romantics" to be a surprise song. Sometimes, working in the White House had its perks.

To say that Jaycee was overwhelmed by the concert was an understatement. She couldn't believe the sheer number of people that were there or the number of friendship bracelets she'd been given. She also never would have imagined witnessing the vice president of the United States cry while scream-singing 'Enchanted' to her or seeing her best friend and the president slow dance to their wedding songs being performed live, but yet, here she was.

You and Jake were currently dancing to 'Shake It Off," while she and Bradley sat back and admired the two of you living your best lives.

"So he has no idea that she's going to sing it?" Bradley asked Jaycee as they sat back in their seats. "No clue." Jaycee smiled back at him.

Soon, the 1989 portion of the set had finished, and the stage was dark. Jake waited with baited breath as Jaycee came to stand next to him. They listened to Taylor talk about how she occasionally takes requests for this part of the set and how she had a very important request for tonight.

Jaycee couldn't hear anything else after that because of how loud Jake was screaming when the first few bars of "New Romantics" began to play. She quickly whipped out her phone and began filming him. She couldn't help but laugh when he sang the chorus and looked directly at her during the line, "The best people in life are free."

She couldn't help but smile, and it never left her face for the rest of the night. By the time the show ended, Jaycee had tons of photos and videos on her phone. On the limo ride back, she carefully selected a few group photos, one of you are her, one of you and Bradley, and one of her and Jake with their matching shirts on full display for an Instagram post. After selecting the pictures, she captioned them, "The best people in life (really) are free. #HardLaunch #J&J"

She made sure to tag the correct accounts before queuing the post to drop at exactly four in the morning before turning off her phone. She spent the night with Jake in his room in the White House. All night, he keeps telling her that she should just move in with him, but Jaycee likes the freedom of having her own apartment. It gives her a chance to still be independent. She knows that eventually she'll move in with Jake, but she just isn't ready to yet.

The next morning, when she and Jake turn on their phones, the news of their relationship is the first thing they see. Four media outlets have already reached out to both of them for an exclusive, but Jake and Jaycee have already promised an exclusive to one of her coworkers.

You and Bradley are abuzz now that the news has finally broken. You were sure that Bradley was going to slip up with every sligh comment he posted on their soft launch photos, but thankfully, he never did. You were, however, worried about Jaycee. She was very much like you in the fact that she didn't spend much time in the spotlight. She was used to reporting the news, not being in it.

You knew that there would be a learning curve. Thankfully, Jake was there to help her. Not that she needed much help. After years of working in the industry, Jaycee knew exactly what to say and how to say it. She just got a little freaked out when people wanted to take her photo or if paparazzi would show up.

The first few weeks were fine until one day, when she was out running some errands.

Jaycee had clocked the man in the dark jacket when he started following her a few blocks back, right after she'd gotten her morning coffee. She tried to brush it off, but every turn she made, he was there. She pulled her hat down further over her face and kept her large sunglasses on. When she made another turn, she could see that the man had a camera in his hands. She figured he was trying to a photo of her doing something scandalous for the tabloids.

Normally, photographers kept their distance, but this one didn't. And Jaycee couldn't shake the eerie feeling this guy gave her. So, she discreetly took out her phone and called Jake before ducking into a CVS on the corner.

"Jake." She breathed into her phone as she tried to hide from the man. "What's wrong, darlin?" He asked her, sensing the distress in her voice. "A paparazzo is following me. They have been for several blocks. He has a weird vibe, and I can't shake it. I'm at the CVS on the corner of 4th and West. Can you please come get me?" Jaycee asked him.

"Henry and I are on our way now." Jake replied. But before Jaycee could say anything else, she felt a hand clamp down on her shoulder and spin her around.

"Ms. Marchetti, how are you doing?" The man who'd been following her asked as he held his camera up to snap a photo of her. Jaycee panicked. "Get away from me! Don't touch me!" She yelled. Jake was still on the phone. He heard her trying to run away while the man chased after her, asking questions and snapping pictures.

"Henry, step on it!" Jake yelled as his head of security raced through the streets. Jaycee tore down the sidewalk like a mad woman, running into people and bumping into curbs. The photographer still followed her and was shouting at her.

"I just want to ask you a few questions!" He yelled, but Jaycee didn't want to be anywhere near that creep.

She turned a few corners and ran down an alley. She thought she was safe until he spotted her. Jaycee didn't have anywhere else to go. She was at a dead end. She was just about to scream when Jake's voice rang out as he yelled for the man to get away from her. He and Henry quickly stepped in between them, using their bodies to block her from his view.

"Listen, pal, I don't know where you get off on following my girl through downtown and putting your hands on her, but I swear to God if you ever do it again, it will be the last thing you ever do." Jake sneered at him.

"I wasn't meaning any harm, Mr. Seresin. I was just trying to get some stuff for the Sun Journal. Honest." He tells Jake.

Jake isn't satisfied with his response. "That doesn't give you the right to put your hands on her or follow her." He tells the paparazzo.

Henry looks over his shoulder at Jake, who nods to him. Henry then reaches forward and grabs the man's camera. He snaps the lens off before ejecting the memory card and snapping it in and throwing everything on the ground and stepping on it.

"Well, you and I both know that the Sun Journal isn't exactly top news. I didn't think she's agree to a sit down with me. But even though she didn't answer my questions, I got some great shots of her running through the people looking crazy. And a few in the pharmacy. I'll just cook something up." He chuckles.

"What photos?" Jake says as he stares the man down.

"You can't do that!" The man screeches.

"And you can't grab people without their permission. Now, if I were you, I'd get the hell out of here before Henry causes you to meet the same fate as your equipment." Jake states.

The photographer opens his mouth to argue but runs away before he does.

Jake immediately softens and turns to Jaycee. "Darlin, are you okay?" He asks as he wraps her in his arms.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm glad you got here when you did, Jakey. I don't know what I would have done." A few tears slip down her face.

"I'll always be here for you, Jay." Jake reassures her. "C'mon, let's get in the car, I'm taking you back with me." Jake tells her.

Once the two of them are in the car, Jake let's out a long sigh. "Jay, I know you like having your own space, but I think it might be best if you moved in with me." He tells her.

"Jake—I don't think that is really necessary. Today was just a one-time thing. It just caught me off guard. I'll be more careful next time." Jaycee tells him.

"Jaycee, it wasn't really a suggestion. You're moving in with me." Jake says firmly.

"Jake, you can't tell me what to do. I'm an adult who is capable of making her own decisions." Jaycee shoots back.

"Jay, I understand that, but I need to make sure you're safe. I can't do that if you aren't with me. If you live in the White House, I can make sure you have round the clock security so nothing like this ever happens again. I mean, what if Henry and I hadn't gotten there when we did? Something bad could have happened to you. Jaycee, I don't want to take away your independence, I just want to make sure you're safe. I love you, and I care about you, and I would lose my mind if something happened to you." Jake explains to her.

"Jake, I hear you, and I hear your concerns, but—I just—moving in together is a big step. And the White House? If I live there, I have to give up my job at The Post. My journalistic integrity goes out the door. I mean, I'm up for a Washington Women in Journalism Award for my piece on the treatment of the modern woman in the workforce. I knew dating you would come with sacrifices, but it's still hard. She tells him.

"I know. And it's not fair. We knew that there would be struggles going public. I just didn't expect them to happen so quickly. Jaycee, you know I'd never ask you to give up your life for me. I couldn't do that to you." Jake takes her hands in his. "Maybe I jumped the gun with the whole living together thing. Maybe we could—"

"You're right." Jaycee stops him with a long. "What?" Jake looks at her confused. "What you said about safety and privacy and protecting me. You're right. As much as i hare to admit it." She explains. Jake softens. "What if we did a trial run. A few weeks, maybe. Just to see how it goes. Can we compromise at that?" Jake asks her.

"No. I want to move in with you, Jake. I love you, and I know that you really do want what's best for us—for me." Jaycee smiled at him.

"Really? Are you sure?" Jake checks with her.

"Yeah, I'm sure Jakey. Y/N has been trying to convince me for months. She wants me to be the head of White House PR anyway." Jaycee laughes

Jake joins her and laces his fingers through hers. "So this is a big step." He sighs out.

"I know. But it's a good big step." Jaycee assures him.

The next few days are spent getting her belongings collected. You're over the moon that Jaycee is going to be living in the same space as you again. The day she officially calls the White House home, you pull Jake aside and remind him that even though he is the vice president, you'll kill him if he ever hurts your best friend He knows you aren't kidding.

Later that night, the two of them lay in bed, making small talk. And in that moment, both of them realize that any reservations they had are gone. This is it for them, and right now, they are exactly where they want to be.

Taglist: @daggerspare-standingby @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @hecate-steps-on-me @roosterscock @roosterbruiser @startrekfangirl2233 @soulmates8 @xoxabs88xox @avengersfan25 @blackwidownat2814 @loveforaugust @mak-32 @cottagecori @amysteryspot @heyimmadisonn @cassiemitchell @die-cunt @shipinabluebottle @malindacath @violyn20 @imawkwardlysoc @books-for-summer @blackroseboulevard @recordblues @desert-fern @luckyladycreator2 @katieshook02 @samhapner6 @sebsxphia @roosters-girl @diorrfairy @je-suis-prest-rachel @dakotakazansky @mizzzpink @a-linabean @amklibrary @jstarr86 @actuallyazriel @krismdavis @bradshawsbaby @wkndwlff @withahappyrefrain @gigisimsonmars @dempy @djs8891 @whatislovevavy @blckgrl-sunflower @mayhemmanaged

[fatteningmenstories]

At your service Part 4

It had now been nearly two months of staying in the suite and Alex had quickly gotten used to his new and much more convenient life, he would wake up every morning to the smell of a big hearty American breakfast being cooked just for him, in the bathroom all the tedious jobs of brushing his teeth and even washing himself was done by the robots happily. He could spend the entire day in his underwear and there was no one to protest- not that they would of course, Unit certainly didn’t complain as he strolled about in his underwear and silk robe. Each morning he looked forward to what Unit had had prepared for him, his favourite of course was the buttery pancakes drizzled in maple syrup and sided with a tray full of crunchy bacon. Unit had noted that this was his preferred meal ,so of course went the extra mile of doubling down on its size whenever it was served. Somedays Alexandro would start the day with nearly a dozen fat pancakes, and he loved it - he was finally being treated like the stud he was, sometimes he would hit the Gym for a couple hours pushing weights while being weighted on by Unit who would always refill his chocolatey protein shakes, he still attempt a bit of cardio here and there but breakfast always left him feeling so sluggish especially after weights so with that cardia was off and replaced with sauna time. As the weeks passed the games library would always be updated with Alex finding himself being glued to the screen with what ever next level game he was supplied with, and of course he could play vr, it was the most intense thing he did. While he gamed he would constantly be grazing on whatever the snack bar had on that day- somedays it would be cotton candy other nachos but there would always be chocolate to Alex’s delight. Lunch was Alex’s anchor in the day it split his two gaming session in halve and Unit always made sure it was worth it , Unit of course had followed suit of Alex’s requirements to get bigger and provided Alex with all the meat a jock like him needed to get bigger, somedays he would plough though nearly a dozen beefy overspilling burgers and of course the cheesiest fries imaginable others it would deep dish pizzas and hordes of overspilling tacos. The remaining part of the day would be spent dozing in and out of a food coma which Alex had called getting ready for dinner he needed time to probably digest his food before meeting up with Mr Gordo. The competitive natures of the two had really quickly turned dinner into a eating competition between the pair of them to see who could digest the most quickest, Mr Gordo of course won but Alex wasn’t always that far off, his competitive nature told told himself that it was just because Mr Gordo was a complete fatty with no control that allowed him to beat him. Desert was however was the polar opposite to dinner the two of them would savour the gourmet and brilliant deserts designed for them by Unit.2, here they would engage mostly in conversation about Alex’s athletic life, Alex would explain in absolute detail his play through as a quarterback and how winning was so easy with a body like his, while digging into Units chocolatey deserts. Then came the best part of the day , his treat for eating all his food, the most divine chocolate in the world pouring down his throat, and as the weeks passed Alex could take more and more of it until he almost lasted a complete minute before spluttering it all up, he hadn’t heeded Mr Gordo’s advise and how could he it was too good.

month 4

Burrrpppppppppp,

Alexandro let out the another burp as he finished another one of Unit’s shakes, ahhh it tasted so good and creamy he thought as he scratched his bloated stomach, it was almost dinner and he hadn’t left the sofa all day and why would he anything he could possible need was delivered straight to him by unit. He wondered to himself as unit delivered a dozen of fresh hot donuts straight to his mouth as he gamed what possible joy Unit could find like this serving his every need.

Little did he know how much Unit revelled in serving him, over the last couple of months had Unit able to learn so much about humans, about their likes and their needs, Alex was Unit’s little case study and it was learning some about him, storing all of his behaviours over the last couple of months in to its hard drive - what he liked to eat,at what time Alex liked to be woken and most importantly how much he had seemed to enjoy Unit’s mission of getting him ‘bigger’. Unit was able to scan Alex’s brain every time whenever it delivered a plate full of food to him and the endorphins were off the scale - Unit was definitely doing something right. Unit was learning so much and growing in its knowledge about what humans needed and Unit hadn’t been the only thing growing since had Alex moved in, Unit’s sensors eagerly picked up on Alex’s inflating size. As Alex laid on the couch mostly naked, Unit was easily able to detect the changes in Alex’s size. First it had been his abs, they quickly had lost their definition and were now slowly being coated in a layer of fat, according to Unit’s access to the web Alex’s abdomen could know actually be classified as a gut, and these changes were all over Unit eagerly noted how Alex pecs were swelling up day by day with more adipose the same changes were being seen in his ballooning butt - Unit made note to alter Alex’s clothes at night ( once it researched how alarming humans can find this experience). Notes were made on Alex’s thickening waistline which was outgrowing his first 29 inch measurement it was getting thicker and thicker which Unit believed was the human body’s adaption to support his growing midsection. Unit scanned Alex all over detecting his loss in muscle tissue and tone and his increase in body fat levels and compared it to the surface changes of how Alex’s arms and thighs were swelling up with all this extra fat, it connetced this to Alex’s changes in behaviour. Over the last couple of months Alex was noted to use the gym less and less and favoured more sedentary practices in and how despite his change in exersise levels he still carved more and more food - food which Unit was particular energy rich. Unit was having a marvellous time, scanning and learning about humans and Alex was their prefect guina pig

Completely oblivious to all these scans Alex reached for a donut than another plugged into to his Vr headset he had no idea how well noted his descent of gluttony was being. As his hand danced blindly around an empty donut box searching for any stragglers the loud sound of Mr Gordo knocking on the door for dinner broke him form his gluttonous ritual, the days sure went fast when halve of it was spent sleeping and the other halve gaming, he had spent almost another whole day entirety on the sofa eating whatever he could possibly have wanted and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Alex my boy, come on quickly before the food gets cold” Mr Gordo chuckled turning off of his VR set

Alex quickly stirred of the sofa, flicking of the crumbs of his stomach and licking the icing of his fingers

‘Umm dinner - what’s it tonight’

“Just you wait my boy’ chuckled Mr Gordo eyeing up Alex

Years of only spending his days with robots fixing them and winding them up, had made Mr Gordo enjoy having another play thing in his arms, when Alex had insulted him the over day he knew a funny little game he could play on the poor boy and as he sized by Alex he could see the boy was playing it very well.

As Alex off course had been very musclier before and with such an impressive build the changes were harder to see but they were there, Mr Gordo of course noticed that the jock had significantly widened in the waist, the boys abs could only faintly be seen as his stomach had rounded out and muffin topped over his tight jockstrap, and that the beginning of a double chin was slowly forming around the studs face paired with his cheeks losing their tight definition

Dinner had of course grown in size to accommodate Alex’s increase in appetite, he was drinking nearly 5l of shakes ever day all of which riddled with appetite enhances so now after 4 month he was plowing through dinner with Mr Gordo. Only a month ago Alex would have called it quits but when Mr Gordo signalled for Unit to bring out the 3rd helping of turkey - it was like his competitive nature went into overdrive, as he reached for helping after helping mimic Mr Gordo’s piggish appetite.

“Alex, its nice to see you throughly making use of all the ai in your suite”, let out Mr Gordo after the plates of food between the two had been licked clean

“Of course I have Mr Gordo” Alex let out in-between burps

“Might I add, Alex that unit has told him your instructions of getting big, would you like myself to install a fitness regime into the gym ai”

“Nah don’t sweat it, all this extra stuffing is simply just fuel for my bulk, I gotta get big first and then imma hit the treadmill to burn off any side effects’

“Well, I’m sure a jock like you knows what’s best, and let me just add your’re certainly looking more beefier than when you first came’

“Yeah, its all about the process of course, gotta get big first to get some massive gains when I leave”

“ Certainly my dear boy now if you don’t mind , I think its time for dessert, If I dare say so myself”

The simple mention of desert made Alex’s eyes lit up , like always Unit.2 had completely outdone themselves producing gourmet chocolatey eclairs each pumped to the brim with delicious cream, the moment they entered Alex’s eyesight he was fixed on stuffing each one down his throat, it wasn’t long till he was covered in chocolate and his stomach was fully bloated after another day of ploughing through his food - this was the good life Alex thought to himself as he licked up the remains chocolate form his lips

Dropping Alex of at his suite, Mr Gordo made a quick stop before hitting his bed,

‘Unit boot up’

With his voice Unit woke itself up immediately from its charging spot and awaited Mr Gordo’s command

“Unit under my instructions I want you to increase you protocols on making master Alexandro bigger, this means doing what ever you can to following his demands and taking it to 300%”

“Yes master Gordo, anything else”

“Now that you have mentioned it, the gym equipment inside masters Alexandro suite is to be in a permanent state of renovations” Mr Gordo continued “None of this is to be mentioned to the my little Guinea pig master Alexandro instead carry like on normal”

“Yes master”

[urfavoritedcwhore]

Hii sso I was thinking if you could do a comforting/fluffy fic with Boris where he comforts reader bc she has some painful period cramps? I just thought it would be a cute idea:>>>

hello! yes i think this would be so so cute!!

comforting her//borisxreader!fluff!

warnings: just some swearing:)

not proof read

lowercase intended

you try your absolute best to be nice to boris all the time. you know his dad can be a dick, and you like being his safe space. however, when your on the second day of your period, you tend to turn into what boris calls, “the y/n potwór”.

it was about eight pm when you finally sat in bed, you had been so overwhelmed with school work that you had been sitting at your desk ever since you got home from class. you laid on your bed, curling into the fetal position as your stomach cramped tightly. it was the second day of your period and your body was not letting you forget that. you shut your eyes tight and clenched every muscle in your body as you felt the sharp pain in your lower stomach. you considering getting up to get a midol, but you decided against it when your stomach hit you with another sharp pain. you sprang out of the pain for a quick moment when you heard the front door open down stairs. “moms out of town”, you thought to yourself as you wondered who it could be. there were three possibilities: 1) your dad has finally appeared for the first time in your life and is waiting eagerly for you downstairs. not likely. you ruled options one out. you moved on,: 2) theo came by to scrounge through your fridge, which he commonly did. but theo was supposed to be out to dinner with xandra and his father tonight. or option: 3) boris is came over and is planning on staying the night tonight. option three was quickly ruled the winner when the lanky boy opened your door smiling holding a small bad in his hand. “y/n?”, he asked when he saw you hunched over laying on the bed. “mmmm”, you groaned back at him, his very presence annoying you for some reason. he walked over and sat on the bed beside you. he looked at you with a small sympathetic smile, “am i talking to y/n right now or the y/n potwór?”, he asked brushing a piece of hair out of your face with his fingers. “the second one.”, you said responding to his question. he chuckled lightly, “i think i help.”, he said in his broken English. you knew what he was suggesting, “boris, fucking only helps sometimes, i hurt too bad to even move right now.”, you said to him annoyed. “nie nie, i wasn’t suggesting sex, i suggesting this.”, he said holding up the small bad he had with him. you looked over and straightened yourself out, groaning at the pain, and propping yourself onto your elbows. “what is it?”, you asked rubbing your left temple, almost certain a period migraine was on the way. he smiled at you and began pulling out things from the bag. first he pulled out a dvd of the first season of “the office”. he loved this show. he laughed at the parts that weren’t even funny and did the worst michael scott impersonation, always using his best American accent. you looked at him annoyed, any other day you’d be thrilled to watch this show with him, but right now you couldn’t stand the thought of hearing his loud laughter every thirty seconds. still, it was sweet that he thought bringing over one of your favorite shows would help. he noticed the look on your face a reached back into the bag, “what about this,eh?”, he asked pulling out a king sized KitKat out of the bag. you gave him a small smile. honestly, even though it’s cliche, chocolate is just want you always craved on your period. he smiled back at you before putting the candy bar in front of you, “but wait there’s more!”, he said in his best american accent. you were sure he had gotten this little saying from an infomercial or something. he reached into the bag and pulled out a very small heating pad as well as a bottle of Advil. you looked back up at his as he grinned down at you, “where did you get all this?”, you asked suspiciously. “i go to drugstore and buy there.”, he said to you as he poured two capsules from the advil bottle into his hand and handed them to you. you took them and raised your eyebrows, “you bought this stuff?”, you ask taking the pills, not even bothering to grab the water on your desk. he shrugged, “buy, steal, is same.”, he said getting up and plugging the heating pad into the outlet by your bed. he walked back over to your bed and flipped you on to your back carefully, but swiftly.he laid the heating pad on your lower stomach and crawled in bed beside you, knocking the empty bag onto the ground.

you were definitely far less annoyed by him now. you smiled at him, “thank you bor.”, you said putting your head on his shoulder. he leaned down and kissed your head before grabbing the KitKat beside you, and opening it up. he handed it to you and watched as you took a bite, closing your eyes and practically moaning at how much it satisfied your craving. you opened your eyes and sat up. removing your head from his shoulder when you saw him with the remote to your tv in his hand. “whatcha doin?”, you asked with a mouthful of chocolate. he sighed before turning his head back to you, “only because i love you very much.”, he said before looking back at the tv and fidgeting with the remote buttons. confused, you looked back at the tv and saw he was on netflix typing something into the search bar. you watched the letters he pressed in until he had the full word typed out. you looked at him excitedly, “YOUR GONNA WATCH CHICAGO WITH ME??”, you said smiling at him as he pressed the play button on the screen. “is only because you don’t feel good and because i love you very much.”, he said again pointing at you. you kissed him on the cheek, “thank you baby.”, you said wholeheartedly. he smiled, “so that is all it takes to make you feel better, eh?”, he asked with a smirk, “i remember that next time.”. you giggled at this and laid your head on his chest. “i would feel even better if you gave me one of your cigarettes.”, you said tilting your head up to look at him. he chuckled pulling the pack out of his jean pockets and sliding a cigarette out of it. he lit it, took a few puffs, and held it to you’re mouth for you to drag. “go crazy.”, he said placing a kiss onto your head and laughed.

a/n: hope this is what you were looking for:)) thank you for the request<33

[generic-whumperz]

Vinny (Character Sheet)

Picrew

Playlist | Masterlist | Character Info

Playing opposing roles as Wyatt's partner in crime and Waylon's inside man, Vinny skillfully navigates the tumultuous dynamics between his older cousins, guided by genuine love and loyalty.

After The Aid's shocking murder attempt on Wyatt, Vinny took it upon himself to assume a greater role as The Aid's keeper, a move that revealed his pragmatic understanding of the asset's value to the Sullivans' empire and his surprising knack for diplomacy. When not attempting to broker moments of harmony between Wyatt and The Aid or covering supply runs for the family business Waylon mans, Vinny fuels his own destructive habits with Wyatt—recklessly hitting casinos and bars before scoring a bag to split for the night. Vinny is fiercely driven by his desire to help maintain family power and status in Apocamerica's supply chain, quelling both brothers by serving Waylon by day and partying with Wyatt by night. Despite his twisted, one-sided “friendship” with The Aid, his unwavering kinsmanship with Wyatt outweighs all as they both share a hunger for twisted delights–and Wyatt knows just how to fan the flames of his wild side.

Full name: Vincent Warren Sullivan (Vinny)

Role: secondary antagonist, Whumper/part-time Carewhumper

Date of Birth & sign: June 1, 1985 (47), Gemini (story takes place in the year 2032)

Gender: cis-male

Sexuality: pansexual

Height: 6'2"

Weight/body type/build: 180lbs-ish. Wiry, long-limbed, a bit pigeon-chested.

Hometown: Newark, New Jersey

Family Members: Sullivan family tree. He bounces around a lot because of work but basically lives with Wyatt. Very close with Wyatt and Waylon, basically their brother.

Left/right handed: right

Fav genre of music & anthem: 90s & early 2000s rap (claims East Coast is superior, yet his anthem is a West Coast classic), How I Could Just Kill A Man by Cypress Hill

Occupation: "Independent contractor." Jack of all trades and Waylon's right hand: fixer, security, transportation guard, caporegime (capo), hitman, former Army medic, torturer and snuff film cameraman. Somehow knows a little something about everything and always "knows a guy." He didn't get his HS diploma or GED; instead, he joined the Army soon after he got out of Juvie.

Ethnicity (+ American): Italian, French, Greek, English, Romanian, Bulgarian, Turkish, Serbian, Armenian

Hair color & length: dark brown/brown-black wavy mid-length grown-out hair. Usually combed and slicked back to make it look straighter than it is, shaved down on the sides with an undercut. Some chest hair, but not super hairy. He is usually clean-shaven around his signature petite goatee.

Hygiene: looks like he smells like an ashtray and liquor, and usually does. Not the best hygiene, also not the worst, somewhere in the middle, but is more up-kept when on the job. He uses minimal products and will just dose himself with cologne to mask the cigarette and vodka smell. But he takes good care of his teeth and has a collection of grillz, usually sportin' gold tooth caps on both canine teeth + inlay, and gold trip gap filler between front teeth (pictures below).

Eye color: pale, steely blue, almond-shaped, and hooded eyes.

Skin tone: olive with cool undertones. He can get a lot darker if he gets a tan, but he is usually inside or hiding under shade if outside, so he's rather pale.

Facial features: long, inverted triangle-shaped head. Thin, boxy upper lip mouth. Long, downturned, Roman nose. Straight eyebrows with little to no arch. Narrow ears. Narrow jaw, long chin. Long, thick eyelashes that make him look like he's wearing eyeliner. He usually has bags under his eyes because he's running on nothing but 3 hours of sleep, caffeine, and coke.

Mannerisms: clicks tongue or runs tongue over his gold teeth, sniffs/wrinkles nose, clears throat, and purses lips frequently. Lots of face twitching. If he's not smoking, he's smacking on some gum or snacking on gummy candy. Fidgety, has a hard time sitting still, therefore he’s either pacing or bouncing a knee. Bit of a jabber jaw, sings or hums tunes (someone thought they had a rap career as a youngin). Gets bored easily. Obsessively cleans his guns and knives. Resting bitch face looks like he's unamused or irritated. He snorts and laughs a lot, always cracking jokes. Files his nails daily. Cracks knuckles, neck, and back. Shuffles a deck of cards he has on hand. Checks his tackle-box drug stash he carries around like a lunch pail.

Nervous ticks: it takes a lot to make him nervous since he's spent a lifetime rubbing shoulders with gang members, spent time in juvie, in the trenches of war zones, and as a professional hit man, and has killed countless anthrophages without hesitation. He's good at maintaining a level head in stressful situations, but even he has his limits. When he's actually nervous, he'll rub his chin with his index finger, comb his fingers through hair and scratch his head, yell and punch things, may shoot off bullets into the air or throw knives at something, and in an effort to collect himself, he'll swallow hard and count backward from 5 or 10 to try to ground and calm himself. Rolls his shoulders and shakes his head as if trying to shake off the tension.

Posture: relaxed, cocky and confident. Go-to stance is the power pose with his hands on his hips or clasped in front of him (and perhaps fingers wrapped around a gun). He often leans against things with one shoulder. Uses a swagger walk with a lot of sway in his shoulders. When sitting, he's usually laid back with his legs spread or hunched over, fiddling with something in his hands. Moves a lot and shifts from side to side if he's sitting or standing—rather douchey body language.

Style: in a pressed, solid black Giorgio Armani suit with black Italian leather loafers (when working), in a dingy tracksuit with a white tank underneath, or jeans with a T-shirt or button-up and a leather jacket with motorcycle boots. Wears chains around his neck, rings, and small hoop earrings. Always strapped and always blinged out.

Guns he always has within reach—Colt 1911 Government, 45 ACP, 7 + 1, Cathedral, All 24K Gold, and GLOCK 20 Gen 4 Semi-Auto Pistol (pics).

Health: for as many drugs he does, the amount of cigarettes he smokes, and the volume of alcohol he drinks, he's surprisingly healthy—or as healthy as he can be. He works out a few times a week and gets in his cardio with jogging and boxing. Agile and can fight. He doesn't have the best diet but thinks eating a salad every other day, chugging protein shakes, and eating trail mix is the secret to his health success. Enjoys a good smoothie creation with The Aid, and it doubles as a small, weird thing they bond over.

Piercings/tattoos: ears pierced and wears small rings, bunch of tattoos—like too many for me to go into detail right now. Here are some tat ideas I swiped off Pinterest (I didn't make any of these) to give an idea, a tat mood board, if you will.

Birthmarks/scars: scar around his neck from when a gang of kids tried to strangle him to death with a wire in juvie. He has a lot of scars from fighting and his time in the Army, but covered them up with tats.

Language(s): English. Thinks he knows Italian, doesn’t.

Personality: dependable. Loyal. Sycophant to rivals. Cleaver. Resourceful. Quick-witted. Surprisingly competent and knowledgeable. The embodiment of controlled chaos. Voyeuristic. Talkative. Spontaneous. Fidgety. Protective. Restless. Sarcastic. Tough. Cocky. Dangerous. Rowdy. Violent. Noisy. Impulsive. Vulgar. Aggressive. Pragmatic. Inquisitive. Can be cruel and debaucherous. Teasing. Eager. Can take on a mediator role between Waylon and Wyatt, or Wyatt and The Aid. Oddly, he reserves a gentler soft side (as gentle and soft as he can get, that is) for The Aid. Low-key psychotic and dominant (as are all Sullivans).

Vices: benzos (Xanax), cigs, coke (lines or rubs it on his gums, but refuses to smoke it because that's "crackwhore behavior"), shots of hard liquor (preferably Cîroc or Gray Goose vodka). Shooting things. Breaking shit. Throwing knives or darts. Going on a ride on his motorcycle. Dismembering anthrophages or cutting up an already dead cow at the slaughterhouse.

Voice: raucous, sarcastic, and neurotic. Has a thick New Jersey accent. Kinda raspy. Sounds animated and expressive with a wide range of tones, pitches, and speeds.

Smells like: burnt rubber and oil from doing donuts on his bike. Cigs, alcohol, leather, and too much cologne, probably something like Gucci Guilty, or GIORGIO ARMANI Acqua Di Gio.

Face claim(s): Adrian Brody.

Character inspiration: put all these guys in a blender, add ice, and shake it up, and you have yourself a Vinny smoothie—Vincent Vega (Pulp Fiction), Edward Blake/ The Comedian (Watchmen), Todd Alquist (Breaking Bad & El Camino), Mickey Milkovich (Shameless).

Other: Admittedly, my second favorite Sullivan.

Moodboard

[maaabs]

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[sistahscifi]

Sistah Scifi is the first Black-owned bookstore focused on Science Fiction🪐 and Fantasy🧬 in the United States validated by the American Booksellers Association. Our vision is to double the number of Science Fiction & Fantasy titles by Black and Indigenous authors on the New York Times Best Sellers list by launching a national network of book vending machines. This would make the discovery of Afrofuturism & Indigenous Futurism books as easy as buying a candy bar. Our first three locations will be @oaklandiacafexbakery, @mixedcoffeeshop, and @blackcoffeenw Want to support our mission & vision? Check out the link in our bio: @sistahscifi | www.sistahscifi.com | https://ifundwomen.com/projects/sistah-scifi-black-owned-bookstore-future We would be remiss if we did not acknowledge the support of @ifundwomen and @caress. Remember, claim our magic; create our future. And we all say ashe.🖤 #SistahScifi #caress #supportblackowned #supportblackfemalebusinessowners #Afrofuturism #wisdomoftheuniverse #bookvendingmachines #sciencefictionbookstore #blackownedbookstore #blackownedsciencefictionbookstore #ifundwomen #ifw #promovideo #sistahscifisiblings #bookreadersunite #blackreaders #blerds (at Oaklandia Cafe) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnzZVjZLRKq/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[autisticsupervillain]

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to Stats Equalized!

This Month's Fighters...

Judge Doom vs Judge Holden!

Conditions:

No other restrictions.

Scenario:

Judge Holden decides to assist Judge Doom in wiping out Toon Town for the fuck of it, helping to murder Eddie Valiant to ensure no kne discovers the atrocity until it's too late. With all of Toon Kind wiped away, Doom decides to murder Holden, realizing that he has no loyalty to him and can't be trusted to not simply kill him for laughs later.

Analysis: Judge Holden

The Old West. A time that lives on the myths and legends still told today. A time of nameless heroes, dastardly outlaws, and adventure everywhere you looked. Where every sheriff and outlaw honored the law of the sundown quickdraw. But, for all the Arthur Morgans and Good, Bad, and Uglies we fantasize about in this golden age of adventure, the real Old West was far less glamorous and far more vile.

The era of the cowboy was a dark and brutal one in reality. One where minorities were oppressed, to many people had guns, and people died of preventable disease. History runs in cycles. Yet, for all the ways that bloody days of Manifest Destiny may resemble the horrors of our modern day, we can rest easy that our era has never produced outlaws as heinous as the ones who lived back then. No man... no thing who lived back then or now has every matched the depravity of Judge Holden.

One day, there was a man. A tall, imposing man with a strange design. He was eloquent, intelligent, and acted broadly polite in the moment, certainly, but you'd be thrown by his appearance nonetheless. A tale, deathly pale man who moreso resembled a giant stone golem than a human. His skin bleached white, his smile stretched a bit too wide, and his skin completely bereft of hair. No eyebrows, no sunspots, no face fuzz. Nothing. One day, he walked into a town he'd never been to before, pointed at a preacher he'd never met, and announced with the certainty of God that that man was a pedophile and a predator, unworthy and incapable of reading the bible in his hands. The man watched with that same pastor get dragged out before the church and lynched. The man joined in the celebrations afterwards, passing drinks around the bar. And, when asked about how he knew that preacher was a monster, the man cheerfully announced he'd never met the preacher before in his life. Said man could only ever be Judge Holden.

With that story in mind, you shouldn't show any suprise that the Judge wound up traveling with the Glanton Gang, a band of scalp hunters and outlaws. Nor should you show any suprise that Holden was the most wicked and wretched among them. Suprise would imply a precedent that the Judge would do anything other than the most wrteched thing he could and I will not insult your intelligence by implying such a precedence. Just rest assured that Holden's atrocities, even those committed wuth just the Glanton Gang, are innumerable even next to your current imagination.

If you are in any way off put by themes of rape, slaughter, bloodshed, and war, then you'd best turn back now. Now four words could ever better describe Holden.

Holden saw wanton slaughter and the full depths of human evil as the heart of the American Dream. Nay, moreso than that, he saw war as God. It is with full awareness of his enemy's humanity, intelligence, and virtue that he pillaged that tribes of indigenous people. It is with full awareness of his barbarity that he raped one so hard he accidentally snapped his neck. The Judge acknowledges the worth of his victims, for it's what makes them worth killing. Holden and his gang, for it had been his ever since he set foot in it, committed countless atrocities in their march across the West. They would start a bar fight that killed a dozen people. They would lure away little children to never be seen again with candy, just as the Judge taught them too. And they would bathe in the bloodshed they caused as if it was God, just as the Judge preached.

But beyond his ability to turn an unextraordinary gang of cutthroats into demons in human skin, Holden seemed to posses a number of inhuman qualities himself. The Judge could smash a horse's skull in with a single blow, snapping the legs on which it stood in the process. He could create gunpowder out besalt and piss, can seemingly be in more than one place at a time, and can, be it through some trick of the campfire light or his own raw strength, throw a coin all the way around the world and catch it in his other hand. For the limits of man are like an unbound coin. Limitless when hurled into the dark. If there are any human explanations for the Judge's strange achievements, his Gang never found them.

Though, as with all evil men, the Judge would eventually move on from his current playground. When it became convenient, The Judge would slaughter them all, until only a young, foolish Kid remained. The Judge would hunt him for years. Watch as the Kid become the Man and appear before him years later unchanged. The Judge was not any older or kinder or wiser. Men like the Judge, if he be a man at all, don't change. They dance to the tune of the song in their heads into the music of the bloodshed stops.

And dance the Judge does with the grace of a naked cherub. He sings a song of slaughter, he dances to seduce Death. It is an artform dedicated to atrocity and as long as he dances he shall never die. Hear him call for mankind to join the dance here in this rotten old west. For as long as he dances, he shall never die. You cannot kill the Devil with the sin of murder after all.

Analysis: Judge Doom

Cartoons. Good old fashioned toons. The slapstick masterpieces that immortalized the earliest days of animation. For as much as names like Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny might be associated with childhood whimsy these days, their old shows could be shockingly dark by today's standards. And in a world full of sentient, living toons, no toon was more heinous and vile than Judge Dredd.

Judge Doom's real name has been lost to the ages (there's a comic that explains it, but the continuity is dubious on that so sush). With a suit of rubber skin, some fake eyeballs, and a fake name, he lives among humans, hunting down his own kind with a toon killing substance called The Dip. To break the metaphor down a bit, he's the member of a minority who does his best to imitate the dominant group, reap the rewards of his own groups oppression in a twisted sense of "fuck you, got mine". The real Ben Shapiro of the Looney Toons world.

To this end, Doom wanted to wipe out all of Toon Town. Not just literally erase the people who lived there, but erase any trace that they'd ever been there, replace the rubble of their homes with lines and lines of shops and businesses to line his own pockets until Toon Town may as well have never been there. Complete deletion. Fuck you, got mine. And who can even stop him?

Outside the Dip itself, Judge Doom is nigh invincible. Before the Dip was created, Toons were thought to be completely indestructible to the people of 1947. Given the first nukes were dropped in 1945, you could argue as far as them being able to take even early nuclear bombs, but that's an argument that relies on the assumption that WW2 occured the same in Who Framed Roger Rabbit as it did in our world. Popeye for his part did infamous fight a lot of WW2 racist stereotypes, so it's not impossible. Beyond that, any damage that a Toon takes will comically bounce offas the toon is crush flat, burnt to ash, or turned into a ghost before coming back like nothing happened. Judge Doom himself uses this to shapeshift his body in all kinds of horrifying ways, from literally glaring daggers to turning his arms into buzzsaws.

That being said, they aren't completely unstoppable. Toons are limited to what they find hilarious. If there's an opportunity for a gag, the Toon must go along with it, even if it is to their own detriment. Luckily, Doom thinks bloody murder is hilarious. And for all the effort Doom puts into looking human and hunting Toons, there are cracks in his fascade. He never blinks, his skin is made of rubber, and his movements are unnaturally stiff and even puppet like.

Ultimately, Judge Doom would put his everything into pinning one of his crimes into Rodger Rabbit to cover up his larger plan. This gets Detective Eddie Valient involved in the case, leading to Doom's plot being uncovered and his own dip being turned against him, melting him into golden sludge. A horrific end for a horrific and monsterous toon.

Throwdown Breakdown:

...I'm gonna be honest, I'm not sure I can call this one. I'm not entirely sure what they can really do to each other.

Any conversation involving a fight with Judge Holden is going to turn philosophical and literary. It's inevitable. He's a very philosophical, metaphorical character. He's the ultimate embodiment of his era of colonialism. He's Manifest Destiny with the mask off. And to that end... Judge Doom is just a more modern incarnation of that same evil.

Colonialism and gentrification are built off the same foundation and have the same end goal. "I want the stuff that is here and I want the people already here gone. I want all evidence that the people who are in my way were here wiped from this Earth so I can build shops and brothels and gold mines over it and make my money. I know what I do is wrong beneath all that I justify and I do not care. Blood and gold for the sake of blood and gold." In that sense, Doom cannot kill Holden because Holden is Doom. One judge just doesn't wear the mask.

But, by that same metric, Holden can't kill Doom either. Because Doom is a Toon. Without Dip, Holden cannot kill Doom, nor would he understand how Doom works in order to exploit his Toon nature, as Holden is from a different time period all together. I do think Holden is smarter and could likely manipulate Doom long term. Doom is every bit as self righteous and self justifying as those Holden has corrupted before, after all. And there's every possibility Holden could take advantage by doing something so horrifyingly evil even Doom can't find it funny. Doom is as bloodthirsty a monster as the Disney censors will allow, but Judge Holden is... Judge Holden. Even then, that remains circumstantial and given the fights set up, I find it unlikely for Doom to have let Holden get his hands on any dip up to now anyways.

Ultimately, what is capitalist displacement and gentrification if not an evolution of colonialism? It's the same way of destroying not just a people, but their very identity, jist modernized. Doom and Holden worship the same god, for to them war is God and God is hatred and greed and death and blood that washes down the American Soil ever since Columbus found it.

This Battle is a Draw!

[darkened-storm]

Truth Or Dare

Written as part of my prep for Mayblade, a team bonding scene prior to the Bladebreakers match with the Demolition Boys

— — —

In the hours after they returned from the lake and after they’d all thawed out from the cold, the Bladebreakers gathered in their hotel room with snacks Kai had fetched them from the closest convenience store.

“Take all my rupees,” Tyson had declared. “I offer it all in the name of snacks.”

Tyson’s cash had been enough for two whole boxes of snacks, including popcorn, American candy and an assortment of Russian delicacies that Steph had never seen before, but she quickly recognised the picture of a peppermint leaf on a chocolate bar and snatched it up.

Becky found a bowl and popped the popcorn in the microwave. “Let’s play truth or dare,” she suggested.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Steph said hesitantly. “We need to concentrate on being a team tonight, not almost killing each other.”

“Aww, don’t be a buzzkill,” Tyson jeered, nudging her in the ribs gently to assure her he was only teasing. “Daring your friends to do reckless stuff is how some of the best friendships are made.”

“He has a point,” Ray agreed with a shrug. “But maybe we should agree now that no one gets dared to steal anything.”

“Fair point,” Max agreed, “can’t beat the Demolition Boys from prison.”

“Unless they end up in prison too,” Becky added. “Oooh, that’s an idea…”

“No,” Kai said, in his most serious, no nonsense voice. “No one is going to jail. But otherwise Truth of Dare is a good idea.”

Steph scowled at him. “I warned you,” she said.

It wasn’t as terrible as she thought it would be. They learned the truth about Ray’s fear of werewolves, dared Tyson to eat his popcorn out of his hat and Max was forced to stuff as many Oreos in his mouth as he could at once. After almost choking down the last one, he rounded on Steph.

“Steph’s up,” he declared, far too cheerfully for the Italian beyblader’s liking. “Truth or dare?”

Steph hesitated, then as she caught sight of Becky, looking far too happy as she munched on a handful of popcorn, a wicked idea occurred to her. “Truth,” she said and grinned. “Becky’s not a real blonde.”

Tyson, Max and Ray gasped and the room fell silent as Becky looked up, her hand buried into the popcorn bucket. She met Steph’s gaze, and for a fleeting moment, Steph wondered if she might have gone a step too far. Then all of a sudden, Becky raised her popcorn filled hand and launched the popped kernals in her cousin’s direction and chaos ensued.

“Blasphemy!” Becky roared as popcorn went everywhere and Steph ducked behind Tyson, using his body as a shield.

“Why am I getting dragged into this?” Tyson yelped helplessly.

“I call foul play!” Becky went on, this time upending the entire bucket of popcorn on top of them both. “The truth is supposed to be about you!” She whirled around, empty popcorn bucket in hand causing both Max and Ray to duck for cover as she turned to their captain for reason. “Referee, a decision please?”

Kai took a moment to deliberate then, with a wicked grin, declared, “I’ll allow it.”

“TRAITOR!” Becky bellowed, and launched the popcorn bucket at her captain.

“Oho,” Ray winced sympathetically as Kai swore, ducking behind the couch as Becky descended on him, taking up a cushion as her new weapon. “He’s caused a mutiny.”

“Guess that means we have a decision to make,” Max decduced, as he too took up a pillow. Then he grinned at his teammates. “Well, are we a team or not?”

Tyson, Ray and Steph exchanged glances, then in silent agreement they nodded and armed themselves with pillows and blankets (and even a bag of skittles in Steph’s case.

“MUTINY!” Tyson bellowed as he led the charge, Becky cheering madly.

Kai realised his mistake all too late as he covered his head with his arms as the onslaught began. “Guys, wait - let’s talk about this!” he wailed helplessly.

But it was no use, he realised dismally. After the incident at the lake, the Bladebreakers were indeed a team, and a force to be reckoned with. As Kai was pelted with pillow after pillow and skittles rained from the ceiling, he knew for certain that whatever the Demolition Boys threw at them tomorrow, they would face it as a tea

[beasiannow]

A month later, Betty Smith, back home in Chicago as her original 35-year-old self, finds that her time as 22-year-old Biju is still having an effect on her, at least a little bit, such as in the way she dresses, the food she likes, and the music she listens to. But that's all.

Then, while getting a candy bar out of an American vending machine, she has a mental flashback, and something starts to happen that was not supposed to happen.

And with a slight quantum quiver (because even the best science can't really, really control it completely), she finds that she has transformed into a combination of her two selves, becoming 35-year-old Japanese-American Betty Jane Satō!

"Now what?" wonders Betty aloud with a pronounced Tokyo accent.

Then, a month after that, another quiver overtakes Betty, and she finds she has become a 22-year-old all-American girl of Japanese ancestry who can't speak a word of Japanese. "Okay, so now I'm Biju Jiu Smith?" she says, her mid-western twang returned.

It turns out that after that, on the New Moon, she goes from being 35-year-old American Betty to 22-year-old Japanese Biju, then 35-year-old Japanese-American Betty, followed by All-American 22-year-old Biju.

"I'd go back to Tokyo and look for that company," she thinks. "But getting a passport would be a bit hard now!"

[leonsliga]

Could you pls post your favourite tiktoks from leon? 💖 I cant find too much content from him 🥺

I thought you’d never ask, anon 💖 it’s truly a tragedy he doesn’t have a tiktok of his own; it definitely makes finding content a little bit harder. Nevertheless, I definitely have quite a few favorites, and I’ll link them by category below the cut:

*this is gonna be an insanely long post…you’ve been warned*

Leon Whoretzka worship

That iconic Hulkretzka moment (brought to you by Bayern herself)

I’m gonna be honest; I’m only looking at your titties right now… (warning: there’s probs gonna be a lot of leongoretzkamalewife on here 😂)

Sexiest transformation in the world? Definitely.

Leon flexing (in more ways than one)

Me? Obsessed with you? Yes.

Still the greatest fit of all time. Completely unrivaled.

Don’t get in strangers’ cars, but when it’s Leon, exceptions must be made…

His titties + this past season’s home kits = heaven 🤤

Because even Leon has to give his biceps the smooches they deserve

He might need his shirt back, but I ain’t giving it to him 🤭

Who doesn’t love a lil striptease?

Leon sweetheart-retzka

What we all mean when we say “Leon Goretzka is our comfort person”

I’m not kidding, if Leon ever looked at me like this it’d be over for me

Remember to dream big kids

“Ohne euch würde die ganze geschichte nicht funktionieren.” 🥹

Bochumer Junge 🥰

Leon takes on the Bundesliga tiktok challenge (in English)

My comfort tiktok

“Die goldene henne.” (Proud papa Leon)

The handoff of the number 8

Leon with a child

Leon Jaha-retzka 😑

Bombastic side eye

“Ich bin halt clever.”

Quarantine brought out the worst in all of us… (someone please give the man his zaubertrank)

Leon’s verdict: biceps not up to par

Everyone’s favorite Scrooge 🥰

It’s hard being an introvert in a world full of extroverts

The enthusiasm radiates off the page truly

Getting up close and personal

He may be riding alone but his heart will go on

“DAS IST DER SIEBEN!!!!”

I want him to scream in my face

Jaha

Cutie pie Leon Adorabl-etzka

Die maus for a reason

Is your smile unparalleled Leon? Ja 📈📉

Soft boi baby

Those eyes…

Dressed to impress, and to make us obsess

On again, off again, love you like oxygen

So you trust him?

God knows he’s the only way to heal now

“Geil alter!”

So much more than a footballer 🥰

Easily in my top 3 Leon soft boi edits

The reason I hold on…

When he renewed with us 🥹

It’s never a cruel summer when he’s around

Just a reminder :)

Can you feeeeeellllll feeeeeeellll my love?

Süße maus

The only time I feel safe…

What do you think got me this far?

Can a person feel like home?

Ja 🕺

Where’d all the time go?

Photocrop challenge 🤪

Leon Lol-retzka

Part-time drill sergeant, part-time proud papa

We love a multitasking king

Money shot babyyyy 🤑

Leon kickstarting his reporting career

“MEISTER SAMMA!!!!”

What did I just watch 😂

He promised us a smile…false advertising

He was sucking on candy the whole time 🤦‍♀️

“Nein” 😵

The crickets are never louder than when someone dares to breathe the word “Holland” in his presence

Best Benji impersonator

He’s an old soul, really…

He’s fucking crazy, but he’s free

You know you’re touch-starved when you start spooning the training materials

Prepare to have your brain chemistry altered…

His road rage is stewing just below the surface

He’s so normal I swear

Rhythm is a dancer 🕺

He was there in spirit

“Brotha from anotha motha” (American accent on point)

Leon just never misses…they don’t call him Leon Scoretzka for nothin’

Goddamn, now I want a Leon Goretzka movie 😩

Prepping for future rap battles by spitting unnecessary bars

Have you learned your alphabet?

Ho ho ho? More like hoe hoe hoe 🎄

The problem child

A wise man once said…

This was groundbreaking 🤯

🎶We’re going to Ibizaaa🎶 🔙 to the island 🏝️

To cuddle or to soullessly pummel: that is the question

I trust you’ll pick the right one 😎

Preparing for his UFC debut

*maniacal laughter intensifies*

Whoever decided to stick Thomas and Leon in the same room is my favorite person…please give them an immediate pay raise thx xoxo

“Bin auch Händler.”

“Auf gar keinen fall.”

🐮

“Das ist doch sicher ein Dorf.”

“Komm let’s go.”

Danke 😑

“Das ist auf gar keinen Fall richtig!!” 😡

I’m ashamed to say I’ve replayed this video an unhealthy amount of times but what am I supposed to do when it legit sounds like he’s moaning

Lockdown brought out a different side of all of us

This was a life or death situation