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omegalomania · 8 months

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i kept forgetting to do this, but i finally remembered we got permission to upload the full pieces done for the SEASONS ZINE! they're not quite as good without @deathchic's gorgeous prose accompanying them, but they were really exciting to put together.

full breakdowns of the symbolism and unobstructed views of each card can be found beneath the cut, fully transcribed. as a warning, they are LONG.

my category was "fall," which encompassed the folie and save rock and roll eras, including the welcome to the new administration mixtape and pax am days ep. seeing as i've a great deal of love for all four of those works and fall out boy has four members, i decided to highlight each work by creating a tarot-inspired card, each featuring a member of the band.

Welcome to the New Administration: Pete Wentz

Pete was the primary organizer behind the viral campaign for CitizensFOB, making him the ideal pick for this card. His card prominently features his bass guitar with the iconic Clandestine logo.

Repeating Number 4: 4 stars above the eagle's head, 4 markings across the cube at the center, 4 members of the band

The tri-colored drapes behind Pete were suspended behind the band on the mixtape cover. The curtains parting over a black background signifies the oncoming hiatus.

The cube-like geometric shape in front of the eagle represents the single promotional art done for "America's Suitehearts," which was one of the tracks demoed in the mixtape and one of the singles that connected most prominently with the themes of the mixtape.

The shield Pete carries and the eagle mounted behind him are both symbols that were used to promote the CitizensFOB viral campaign, featuring the catchphrase: "For Our Betterment, There Is More Mayhem."

Pete's apparel is what he was wearing for the Believers Never Die Part Deux tour, in which there was a lot of direct satirization of Wall Street and American politics. All the band members were wearing suits and looking visibly battered, and Pete had a nosebleed. Patrick also has a nosebleed on his own card; both Pete and Patrick's cards are pre-hiatus projects.

The symbols at the four corners of the card are indicative of the imagery surrounding the campaign. The pointing hand comes from the cover for the mixtape; the airplane is a reference to the "Mailbaick Vaintey and Pidetaerson Firm" videos and accounts that were used in the viral campaign; the wolf head is for the "Alpha Dog" demo, which made its debut on the CitizensFOB mixtape and namedropped "Welcome to the New Administration" title in its demo form; the boomerang is for the "Lake Effect Kid" demo, which also made its debut on the CitizensFOB mixtape.

"The Citizen" is an obvious reference to the "Citizens For Our Betterment" campaign name.

The card features 12 colors, all colorpicked from the Welcome to the New Administration mixtape cover. This represents the 12 artists who contributed the mixtape musically (not merely speaking roles): The Academy Is..., Butch Watcher, The Cab, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Four Year Strong, Gym Class Heroes, Hey Monday, The Hush Sound, Panic! At The Disco, A Rocket to the Moon, and Tyga.

The background elements are indicative of the state of the band prior to the hiatus: the leaves are in tatters and shreds. The sunflower is a native Chicago variant, Helianthus occidentalis, late-blooming sunflower that lasts well into early fall. Sunflowers obviously have a strong association with the sun, but they also stand for adoration, loyalty, good fortune, vitality, longevity, and prosperity. The bright yellow color also associates them with intelligence, happiness, and friendship. Van Gogh had a famous Sunflower series, leading to the obvious connection to Infinity on High, the album preceding the Folie era. This made it a good pick for the pre-hiatus cards, since it was loyalty and friendship that led to the hiatus and ultimately to the band's longevity and vitality. Both Folie à Deux and the Welcome to the New Administration mixtape had more yellow tones than their post-hiatus counterparts as well, thus the pick of a yellow flower.

Folie à Deux: Patrick Stump

Patrick has stated that Folie à Deux is the most "him" out of Fall Out Boy's discography, making him ideal for this card.

Repeating Number 4: 4 electric bursts from the microphone, 4-sided symbol mounted on the microphone, 4 ruffles on Dr. Benzedrine's front

The card features 13 colors to represent the 13 tracks on the album itself (excluding bonus tracks). All colors were colorpicked directly from the album cover.

The anchor is a reference to the lyrics of "27," with a crown symbol on it in reference to "Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet."

There are 9 stripes on the upper side of the background, as a reference to "West Coast Smoker" - the suicidal cats have 9 lives.

The microphone represents Patrick's role as vocalist. It is also a reference to "(Coffee's for Closers)," as the microphone stand is electrified.

Patrick's right half is modeled after his costume in the "America's Suitehearts" video, "Dr. Benzedrine." He has a nosebleed in reference to the lyrics of the song that is his namesake, "20 Dollar Nose Bleed." Both he and Pete represent pre-hiatus projects, and both have bleeding noses.

Patrick's left half is modeled after his costume in the "What A Catch, Donnie" video. He has 20 stripes on his shirt - half black and half white, keeping with themes of duality. The 20 total stripes also references "20 Dollar Nose Bleed."

The background on the bottom half is shattered into 15 visible fragments, indicating the 15 tracks of the full album (when including bonus tracks such as "Pavlove" and "Lullabye"). There are also 27 fragments scattered between the two halves of Patrick, representing "27" and the 27 club.

The symbols at the four corners have dual meanings, in keeping with the theme of duality. The bee is both a lyrical reference to "Lullabye" and a nod to the intro of "Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes"; the storm cloud is both a nod to the lyrics of "She's My Winona" and a reference to the "Mr. Sandman" character in the "America's Suitehearts" video; the horseshoe crab is both a reference to the lyrics on "The (Shipped) Gold Standard" and to the character of "H. Shoe Crab" in the "America's Suitehearts" video; the sunflower acknowledges the lyrics in "27" about shooting the sunshine into one's veins and nods to the flower on the hat of the "Donnie the Catcher" character in the "America's Suitehearts" video.

"The Mirror" references the theming of duality on the album, as well as the fact that the vinyl required a mirror for one to read the tracklisting since the text was printed backwards.

The card features heavy themes of duality to suit the theme of a "madness shared by two." The image is bisected in several respects: Patrick is fractured in two, both halves wearing different costumes and expressions; the shadow in the center is split down the middle; the broken heart in the upper half is also two faces; the image is divided both horizontally and vertically; and a dichotomy of fire (the electrified microphone stand) and water (the anchor).

Save Rock and Roll: Joe Trohman

Joe took a much more active writing role post-hiatus and on this album in particular, making him a good pick to represent Save Rock and Roll.

Repeating Number 4: 4 symbols, 4-pointed symbol holding up the others

The card features 11 colors, representing 11 tracks on the album. All colors were color-picked directly from the album cover, with an emphasis on reds, to suit the "red palette" imagery surrounding the album.

This card is saturated with imagery from the 11-part video series the band released in conjunction with the album, "The Youngblood Chronicles." Joe is wearing the costume he had for the majority of the video series prior to his death.

The card features heavy fire imagery due to this being a motif on the album and on the associated video series, with smoke rising up in the background. This is indicative of the band "rising from the ashes" post-hiatus, and also symbolizes the resurrection of Joe's character at the end of "The Youngblood Chronicles."

The guitar-axe weapon is from the "Death Valley" video and would have been his weapon if he weren't dead at this point in time. The card prominently features Joe's guitar, albeit turned into a weapon, as befitting the theming.

The four symbols mounted behind Joe are also from "The Youngblood Chronicles" - the symbol representing the "Silence the Noise" group; the symbol associated with the gang of child bikers; the symbol the Prince of Darkness tattoos on Joe's hand; and the crown-and-volcano symbol associated with the band post-hiatus. The symbol upon which these four icons are mounted is found on the floor in Heaven in the "Save Rock and Roll" video.

Joe is the only one who does not face the audience directly, and is turned in profile. Given the fictional nature of the narrative of "The Youngblood Chronicles," he has the most distance from the fourth wall.

The symbols at the four corners of the card also draw from imagery from "The Youngblood Chronicles." The disco ball is from the "Where Did the Party Go" video, in which Joe's character dies. The briefcase is a consistent object throughout the entire series, and serves to incite the entire narrative. Patrick's hook hand, also seen throughout, is significant due to Patrick's unwitting role as Joe's murderer. The snake, seen in "Young Volcanoes" and "Just One Yesterday," is representative of the group's collective trauma.

"The Defender" is a reference to the names of the characters of Fall Out Boy in "The Youngblood Chronicles," as they are referred to as "The Defenders of the Faith" in the longform video's opening credits. This title is in and of itself a reference to the title track on Save Rock and Roll.

Pax Am Days: Andy Hurley

The Pax Am Days EP is closest to the band's hardcore roots in terms of sonics and composition, and Andy is the most active in hardcore circles today, which makes him an ideal pick for this card.

Repeating 4: 4 holes in the American flag, 4 supports visible on the toms and bass drum, 4 tears on the left side of the wall

The card features 9 colors, all color-picked from the EP cover, per the 9 tracks on the EP (counting the bonus "New Dreams" Naked Rayguns cover).

There are also 9 tears on the right side of the wall, also befitting the 9 tracks on the EP.

The black-and-white checkered background represents the Pax Am studio where the EP was recorded and after which it was named.

Andy is the only one whose card features him looking directly at the audience, to signify the more intimate recording sessions behind the EP, in which studio chatter and laughter can be heard between every track. Being the drummer of the band, Andy's drumkit is naturally featured very prominently.

The crown-volcano symbol that's become synonymous with the band post-hiatus is (barely) visible mounted on Andy's bass drum. This is a similarity Andy's card shares with Joe's, as they both represent post-hiatus projects.

The American flag was also present in the studio for recording. The flag being torn and shredded on the card relates to tracks on the EP that discuss disillusionment with the American dream ("American Made"). It is also indicative of the eras preceding and following the Pax Am EP (Folie à Deux and the Welcome to the New Administration mixtape, and then American Beauty / American Psycho).

The four symbols at the corners of the card all represent lyrics present on the EP: the crown comes from "We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead)"; the lion comes from "Demigods"; the black widow comes from "Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside"; the skull comes from "Love, Sex, Death."

"The Believer" is a reference to the final compilation prior to the band's four-year hiatus, "Believers Never Die." With the band returning seemingly from the dead, it seems that believers truly never die. This is paired with Andy reportedly being the only member of the band who always believed they would get back together, even if none of the others did.

The background elements for the post-hiatus cards feature leaves with much more reddish tones. The color red has a great deal of symbolic meanings, including high energy, vitality, strength, and prosperity. Additionally, the fallen leaves are rich and whole, to contrast the shredded-looking leaves in the background for the pre-hiatus cards. After the hiatus, the band's overall health and mentality was much healthier.

The flower in the background is a Madame Julia Correvon clematis, a wine-red Chicago variant of clematis that blooms in the summer and fall. Clematis flowers are associated with mental acuity, wisdom, travel, aspiration, and mischief. Red clematis in particular is associated with passion, energy, good luck, prosperity, security, physical vitality, and courage. This, along with the red color scheme, made it a good flower to represent the cards for the post-hiatus projects.

#fall out boy #fob #seasons zine #*mine #*art #ids in the alt text #i overthought so much of this symbolism lol #and the flowers arent 100% accurate to what theyre supposed to look like...#alas! it was fun regardless

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miss-tc-nova · 7 months

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Hunted - Leona Kingscholar & "Yuu"

My piece for the Twst Horror Zine. I had a lot of fun thinking of the possible terror and re-watching one of my favorite horror movies.

Premise: Backpacking around Twisted Wonderland goes bad

Words: 2,962

Trigger Warnings: implied death, stalking, isolation

Art done by the incredibly gifted HoKeki on Twitter!

~~~~~

October 23, 20XX

I’m not sure how to start this, so here goes.

Welcome to my journal! Over the next several months, my friends and I will be backpacking across Twisted Wonderland, taking in the sights and cultures across the world. This is going to be my first excursion and I thought it would be fun to document it.

As anyone who knows me might guess, I’m bringing Ace and Deuce along, though I’m not sure how they came to agree on it when they never seem to agree on anything. Even right now, Ace is badgering Deuce about all the stuff he’s bringing. I agree Deuce might’ve overpacked a bit, but I don’t know how Ace thinks he’s going to be fine with just two sets of clothes and his pajamas. At least I don’t have to wear them. So I’ll be spending a lot more time with these dummies, but I’m excited it’s my best friends I get to share this adventure with.

Our first stop is going to be Sunrise City in the Sunset Savanna. From there, we’ll probably go east to the Shaftlands and then maybe up into the Kingdom of Heroes. The great thing is that we get to decide as we go. I was pretty adamant about starting in Sunrise City though. I’ve always wanted to visit since I learned about its culture and how intermingled it is with the wildlife. Also, being directly south of the Queendom of Roses made it an easy choice to start with.

Tomorrow can’t come soon enough. It’ll be a struggle to keep my excitement in check enough to get even an hour of sleep. Though I should probably finish packing first. Thank goodness Riddle isn’t here or I’d never hear the end of my unpreparedness. But that’s part of the fun, right? The spontaneity and not knowing what adventure the next day will bring. It’s the surprises on the horizon that I want to experience. Even the mishaps—because you know that’s gonna happen with the three of us.

I better cut it here. Ace is about to get punched in the face and I still gotta pack.

Peace!

~~~~~

October 24, 20XX

We finally made it! It took so long the sun is already starting to sink in the sky, but we’re here! Our plane was surprisingly small. In fact, the port here is more rural than I was expecting. It feels a lot more wild—like a safari.

Still, it’s absolutely breathtaking. Clear skies shine bright and the plains ripple like liquid gold in the breeze. Only the captivating local culture could stop me from staring at it for hours. The people are really kind. Most were obviously trying to make money off us, but even they were nice. And it all looked so amazing we had to drag Ace away from a shop selling “Bone Cookies.” This is literally our first day and the temptation to spend money is strong.

Right now, we’re in a cozy guest cabin. Some government officials questioned us about the purpose of our visit, where we’re going, all that stuff. When we told them we planned on taking the scenic route to the capital, the radio chatter started. They insisted we find another route, but the golden plains are one of the “Must See” views of the Sunset Savanna. Plus, we don’t have the money for fancy transportation. I’m sure we’ll be fine with a three-day walk, especially when there are rest stops that have some of the best hospitality.

In the end, our names, details, and contact information were taken. They even took pictures of us from different angles. It’s as if they’re expecting something to happen.

Some of the locals acted odd too, after we told them we were heading through the plains. Some gave us extra food, one gave us a discount, and one strangely gave us a compass—all with the same weird look. Still, I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Anyway, it was an exciting start but I can’t wait to get trekking. I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

~~~~~

October 25, 20XX

Waking up to Ace and Deuce arguing is going to get old real fast, but I should probably get used to it. They are “best friends” after all.

After the commotion, we prepared to head out. The locals again reminded us not to get distracted. Explicit instructions told us that there were to be no detours and no delays. Honestly, it started to kill the excitement. However, it’s going to take three days to reach the capital—one day to get to the first camp, one to get to the second, and one to get to the city—so it’s probably just proper precaution.

A single step into the gold plains was all it took for the grass to dwarf us. Elephant grass is notoriously tall, but I couldn’t have prepared for just how small we were. It felt like being thrown into a maze; yellow grass, the dirt under our feet, and the blue sky above were all that could be seen. It became intimidating along with its wonder and beauty. Fortunately, there’s only one path.

Not long after we began, Ace started talking tales of some banished prince. He heard the story from a shop owner he bought cookies from after being kicked from the cabin earlier. The reason I hadn’t heard anything was because of how recent it had been. Supposedly, just days ago, he tried to overthrow the king and murder the heir. People called for his execution, but the king didn’t have the heart to kill his own brother. Instead, he was exiled. But while being transported out of the country, he was set free by his followers—his jailers’ bodies were found maimed beyond recognition. Now the rumors say he’s hiding out to the east in the Shadowlands.

I didn’t want to hear any more, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell Ace to stop. Instead, he just kept talking, probably trying to scare us. And yet I think he also scared himself. It didn’t help that we could hear things rustling in the grass. I thought I saw something once, but couldn’t say for sure. Even though the locals said most wildlife would ignore us, it’s unnerving not to see what we can hear.

Despite the spooky stories, we made good time. The rest stop was within reach well before the sun started to set. Camp guards ushered us inside the fence, demanding our names, birthdays, reasons for travel—the same information we provided at the outpost. It must’ve been to check that we were on the list of expected visitors, which is a little strange considering I noticed ours were the only names on it.

It’s a small campsite. There are a few cabins around the clearing. A massive ring circles the whole place, dotted with devices that appear newly installed. Deuce says they’re for magic defense. Nobody can use magic in the camp and magic can’t get in. For all the security, that’s probably why we were instructed to arrive before sundown.

Well, I better get some sleep. Another long day of walking awaits tomorrow.

~~~~~

October 26, 20XX

A member of the camp staff woke us early this morning—the sun hadn’t even broken the horizon. All color had forsaken his face as he rushed us to dress and pack. No answers were offered to our question, only echoes that we leave immediately.

And again, as we stepped foot into the wilderness, we were warned to stay on the path and stop for nothing.

On our way out, the ruckus could be heard. They found something unusual at one of the barrier projectors. It would make sense to get us out of the way so they could focus on repairs. Yet I can’t help wondering if the hole being dug on the outskirts of the campsite had something to do with it. What was it for? What happened last night while we were all asleep? Did something get in? Where was it now?

That must be my imagination talking. It was early so it would be easy to misunderstand the whole thing. Besides, we needed to leave earlier since today’s trek was longer than yesterday. The sun would be long gone before we reached the next camp otherwise.

If only the boys could’ve kept their mouths shut. They argued the whole way. Ace sulked about not getting to sleep in and Deuce’s phone was missing. He demanded that Ace give it back, but Ace denied having it. The accusations probably come from last night’s teasing over Deuce messaging his mom, but I think he misplaced it in a different pocket. Hopefully he finds it soon or he’ll have to spend some of that souvenir money on a replacement.

Their fighting slowed us down, delaying our arrival at the second camp until just after sundown. Our reception by the staff was rough. After being jerked inside and held under duress, the interrogation went on until they could confirm we were the names on the list of travelers. So much for the hospitality.

There were no apologies as they put us in a cabin for the night. That’s where everything in Ace’s pack got dumped out and it still wasn’t enough to convince Deuce about his phone. So the arguing continued, even as I left to get a break from it all.

This second rest stop is much like the first. Cabins and staff equipment are scattered around. Though people are quiet at night, I could hear animals beyond the barrier. I think I even saw one. It was big, maybe the size of an antelope. It’s crazy how comfortable the wildlife is so close to settlements like this.

Well, I’m tucked in now and Deuce and Ace are pouting in their own beds. We’ll set out again in the morning and, by sunset tomorrow, we’ll be in Sunrise City.

~~~~~

October 27, 20XX

We messed up.

Ace really didn’t have Deuce’s phone. But neither did Deuce.

Like the day before, we were woken up early and sent on our way. Camp staff barely gave us time to pack before shoving us out. There was no time to question the hasty behavior and it left a sour taste in everyone’s mouth. Still, we went on our way as planned.

After noon, Deuce made us stop, yelling at us to be quiet. I thought he was crazy, but then I heard it too.

It was his mom’s ringtone.

Coming from the elephant grass.

We couldn’t stop him. He just took off. It was a blind run as Ace and I tried to keep up. We never would’ve caught up if he hadn’t stopped. In his hand was his phone, still ringing yet entirely useless. The screen was shattered and the frame bent. It was a miracle it could still even ring. How it got there and how it got destroyed is a mystery—one made worse by the fact that we couldn’t find the path again.

No one could say for sure which way we ran and the grass gave us nothing to find our bearings. Our phones were just handy clocks with no service in the middle of nowhere. Only the compass gave us any consolation. Surely heading south will get us out of here.

To make matters worse, night fell sooner than we anticipated. Making camp was the only sensible solution, no matter how badly we want to get out of here.

Now here I sit, in our little tent, listening to things creeping all around us. I have this nagging feeling that, whatever they are, they’ve been following us and I don’t know if it makes me feel better or worse that I can’t see them.

It’s probably just my paranoia. If we keep going south, we’ll make it out of here tomorrow. By now the savanna guides must realize we’re missing and be looking for us. We’ll be laughing about this whole thing in Sunrise City by lunch, except Deuce who will have to buy a new phone. Because of course this is the kind of trouble we would get ourselves into.

Everything will be fine.

~~~~~

October 28, 20XX

Maybe my paranoia last night wasn’t just paranoia.

None of us got any sleep at all. Whatever was sneaking through the grass lingered all night, getting louder and louder with their cackling and snarling. When we finally ventured out of the tent this morning, we were greeted with the destruction of our supplies. Everything was scattered, either destroyed or altogether missing. Here and there were pieces of the map, unsalvageable, and the compass was gone. Our bags were placed right outside the tent because keeping food inside is frowned upon for this reason, but now we have no food, no directions, and maybe half our belongings.

There was nothing to do but pick up what we could and continue walking.

Ace’s pessimism didn’t help. He’s convinced it was the banished prince at our camp, but all we could tell from the flattened grass was that they were large creatures. Still, the constant talk of our doom began to bother me and Deuce. I just hope whatever they are, they realize we don’t have anything else and leave us alone.

I don’t know how, but we must’ve gotten turned around somewhere. We tried to follow the sun, but each step was just more and more grass, hiding the unknown, letting us hope that the end is just one more step. Now the sky is black and we’re still here. We’re exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. So we set up camp to spend another night in this place.

~~~~~

October 29, 20XX

I’m getting really scared now.

Our tent was shaken by a fight just outside last night, but we were all too scared to make a sound. In the morning, not a word was said as we walked. Only this time, we knew the noises in the grass were them. They are following us. No, stalking is more accurate. I can hear them snicker and growl. I’m sure if I reached into the grass, I would touch one.

But they have nothing on the banished prince.

I’m not sure how, but I always knew it wasn’t him stalking us but his hyena henchmen. They’re destructive and menacing, but he’s a monster hiding in the shadows. He’s behind this.

I don’t remember when I spotted him, but I could feel his gaze on me, different from the other beasts. His growl shot through my heart and it felt like I had his claws at my throat. Barely veiled by grass, he wanted me to see him. Fangs eager to tear gleamed in that grin. Behind his gaze was nothing but malice, highlighted by the ink dripping across his skin. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t even breathe. I was so certain that those bloodthirsty green eyes would be the last thing I ever saw.

And then he was gone. He wasn’t really gone, only gone from sight. There’s no doubt that he and his pack are watching us even now. We’ve been sentenced to death and they’re just toying with us.

We’re never getting out of here. Even if it weren’t for the monsters hunting us, we have no food and no more water. I don’t know if we can survive another night out here. I regret everything. I never should’ve suggested this trip. Because of me, we’re going to die out here. I’m sorry. I’m sorry to Ace and Deuce. I’m sorry to Deuce’s mom and Ace’s family. I’m so sorry I got your boys into this mess. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

I wish this nightmare would just end.

~~~~~

October 30, 20XX

We lost Ace today.

Tension was high. We’re being hunted. We know we’re going to die. The fear of what’s in store for us is sickening. Unlike yesterday, Ace and Deuce couldn’t stop arguing. A fight was inevitable. When Ace knocked Deuce to the ground, he took off. We tried to find him—spent hours calling his name. But we never found him.

Long after the sun had gone, the grass finally parted. At first, we were excited. I think I cried. Then I realized where we were.

Rocky, barren land laid before us. Towers of stone loomed above, colder and less forgiving than the grass we escaped. An eerie fog hovered, concealing both new and old monsters. It was bad. We found the Shadowlands. Sunrise City was meant to be south of the port we started at. Those beasts managed to manipulate our path away from our destination and far to the east. He led us here to be slaughtered.

This is where we found Ace’s magic pen.

Nothing else.

We considered our options. The grass gave us no visibility and muddled our sense of direction. On the other hand, the Shadowlands were the prince’s territory. Both were bad choices, but we chose not to go back. At least in the Shadowlands, we had a chance. We knew where we were and how to get to where we needed to. Maybe Deuce and I could still find our way to Sunrise City. Maybe we could send a search party back for Ace.

Maybe this terrible journey will be over soon.

~~~~~

October 31, 20XX

We were wrong! We should’ve gone back!

If anyone finds this, stay out of the Shadowlands!

They took Deuce! They dragged him out of the tent! I can’t hear him scream anymore!

If you see this RUN!

GET OUT OF HERE!

GET OUT BEFORE LEONA KINGSCHOLAR FIN

~~~~~

#twisted wonderland zine #zine feat nova #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #ace trappola #deuce spade #gender neutral reader #yes reposted because i jumped the gun

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lostcauses-noregrets · 5 months

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Lostcauses Fic: 2023 Wrap Up

I thought I hadn't written very much this year, but I didn't do too badly and I also posted my 100th Eruri fic! Enormous thanks to everyone who has read, commented, recced and made the Eruri fandom such a creative and joyful space. Happy New Year to you all! ♡

Taller

Anon asked: Do you have any headcanons for that one time Levi wished he was taller?

Just Like It Always Is

"The man sat motionless for a few moments, dark hair falling forward, obscuring his face, slender hands hovering over the keyboard. Erwin held his breath, then he laid his hands on the keys and a soft chord blossomed, warm like a breath of wind on summer’s day."

Erwin is entranced by a strangely familiar man playing the piano in a railway station.

No Regrets

Written in response to the devastating shot of Levi in the Final episode trailer. I thought I was prepared for the emotional damage. I was wrong.

Orbital

"Levi leafed through the newspaper as he waited in line at the bus stop. The front page was dominated by a large photograph of three men in military uniform, the headline blaring “The Best of the Bravest”. Beneath, in swaggering prose, the story read, “Paradis Space Program has selected its first astronauts from over 100 prospective candidates from all branches of the military, aviation and naval forces. Following a rigorous testing and selection process, Commander Nile Dok, Commander Erwin Smith and Lieutenant Commander Mike Zacharias have achieved the highest honour of being chosen as Scout Project astronauts. One of these brave men will be the first Eldian to orbit the earth in a manned space capsule…”

A space exploration period piece featuring Erwin as a pioneering astronaut and Levi as his CAPCOM.

The Tale of Erwin and Levi - The Song of Parting

With profuse apologies to Beren Erchamion and J.R.R. Tolkien. This is a shameless rip off of Beren's Song of Parting from The Lay of Leithian.

That And So Much More

"They toil together through all weather; clearing the ground, preparing the soil, digging the pits, planting the precious saplings, nurturing their fragile hope for a better world."

A side story of sorts to The Permanence of the Young Men, inspired by the release of the cover of volume 35.

Buenos Aires Hora Cero

"Erwin had never considered himself to be a sentimental man but something about the tango stirred a melancholy buried deep in his soul; romantic sorrow tinged with bitter regret, yearning for fleeting intimacy, nostalgia for a love he had never known."

Erwin finds himself alone in Buenos Aires seeking solace from a broken heart. My collaboration with @seitsen-sarvi for the Paradise Zine.

A Good Man

"Turning to the centre pages of The Eldian Herald, Falco finds a double page spread titled “Heroes of the Eldian Nation: Commander Erwin Smith, 13th Commander of the Survey Corps.” At the head of the page is an imposing picture of a handsome grim-faced man mounted astride a rearing white horse, holding his sword aloft as if poised in mid charge. The caption beneath reads: “Dedicate your Hearts! Erwin Smith, the last great commander of the Survey Corps”. Curiosity piqued, Falco sits down to read."

Intrigued by an article he reads in a newspaper, Falco questions Levi about what the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps was really like.

#Happy New Year!#lostcauses fic #eruri #snk #levi ackerman #erwin smith

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elluia · 5 months

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My 2023 fanfic recs [1/5]

This is a multi-part series, with a countdown to the New Year!

Navigation

The best of Ike x Soren fanfics YOU ARE HERE

The best of Fire Emblem fanfics (Genealogy, Three Houses, Engage, Heroes)

The best of misc. series (Omori, Long Live The Queen, Stardew Valley)

The Spicy™ best-of (bonk)

My 2023 works recap (Fódlan and Tellius)

Let’s start with the best of Ike x Soren fanfics! To everyone’s surprise, FE blessed us with a lot of Soren content this year (an alt in January in Heroes, a DLC Emblem in Engage, and we finally won CYL!), and I am SO PROUD of the fandom for all the beautiful fanworks and projects I’ve seen come of it 💙 (I’ve finally received my copy of The Devoted zine 🥰)

A long list below the cut (with links!), and that's far from everything ✨ My eternal respect and gratitude to all the creators who made my year 💖

📚 Fanfics

Daylight by Traincat

This is peak shipping. Their entire journey, told through meals as they grow closer. 10/10, would cry again.

Prince of Shadowed Winds by Theia_Eos

An absolutely incredible Prince of Daein!Soren AU. Amazing use of the lore, perfect understanding of the characters, and still very close and respectful of canon. I can’t wait for the retelling of Radiant Dawn! (I’ll admit, I can’t bring myself to read the last two chapters and “end” for now T_T)

Radiance in Elyos by Azure_Aeraki

Incredible plot and storytelling from Emblem Soren’s perspective, and his hope to meet the Emblem Ike of the world he suddenly found himself in. And incredibly engaging story, get it?

Birdhouse in Your Soul by Aisene

The first fanfic I read in this fandom was from Aisene, is it really a surprise that I love her latest work? In this story, Bird!Yune follows Soren instead of Micaiah, and their bond is both hilarious and heartwarming at once.

Flowers Fall by Measured

Happy ending Hanahaki disease in 2023? Yes, please!

My life for yours by emblem_oracle

Also one of my long-time favourite writers for this ship. Soren takes what could have been a mortal blow for Ike, and this leads to… read it and find out?

Lonely Nightmare by SuperDuperStarry

Add Ranulf for the most wholesome of relationships? Don’t let the title fool you, it ends up really sweet!

And the story's all over you by Toothpaste_Fresh

Last but not least, a short angsty fic, and I won’t spoil it for you.

🎬 Video

I had to. It's perfection.

youtube

📝 My contributions

I’ll count them here rather than the FE part of this recap, because the ship is very much implied, they’re just not together yet 😉

A Cutting Truth

In the long summer spent in Begnion, the newly formed Crimea Liberation Army hones its skill before marching on Daein. Among them, the staff officer of the Greil Mercenaries makes a baffling choice. To be promoted as sage, Soren picks up a knife.

A look into Soren’s psyche through the second half of Path of Radiance.

The Strong Survive

A (canon-compliant) retelling of PoR’s Endgame, where Mad King Ashnard touches the medallion, and recognizes Soren. And what better way to make up for lost time than a duel to the death? After all… Only one Daein royal may survive.

Stay tuned for the FE fic recs tomorrow!

#fe9/10 #fire emblem #fic rec #fanfic rec #tellius #ike x soren #ikesoren #elluia writes #FE9 #FE10 #path of radiance #radiant dawn #Youtube #soren #ike

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ckret2 · 1 year

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Who wants some Really Really Bad Ace/Aro Representation?

So—I have a longtime fondness for corny villains from kids' shows. The kind that are usually purple, black, and red, oftentimes look like ghosts, skeletons, or robots, and—depending on the complexity of the show they're from—usually have motives ranging from "conquer the world/universe" to "destroy friendship and rainbows." Guys that look like this:

I love guys like that.

But once you age out of media for 7-year-olds and start hitting teenage media, when writers give their over-the-top wicked villains motives, they start saying things like "incapable of feeling love." From time to time crime fiction describes some twisted murderer as "asexual" to justify their motives. Etc.

(The villains above mostly skip this treatment, being from kids' shows; but they're cut from the same cloth, the baby versions of more adult media's "loveless" villains.)

On the one hand: stop using ace & aro coding as a shorthand for villainy, yadda yadda listen I'm assuming I'm preaching to the choir here and we already agree.

On the other hand: like I said, I'm fond of these guys. It's the old "unfortunately, queer-coded villains are incredibly cool." Like, I know 100% that if No Heart was from any series but Care Bears he'd be trying to "destroy love" instead of "destroy caring". C'mon, his name is No Heart. But also, I would enthusiastically invite No Heart into the ace/aro fold, no hesitation, no questions asked. (Never mind that you could toss an ace flag on any of these guys without even noticing. Aro flag wouldn't look half bad either.)

So here's the point of this post:

A few years ago I got to write a short story for a zine on asexuality. I decided to write a satire/conflicted love letter for cheesy cartoony villains and the fact that, for the longest time, "too evil to comprehend good, kindness, and love" is the only approximation of the aro & ace experience a kid might see.

I wrote a showdown between a cruel, heartless villain who wants to destroy the world and all that's good in it—Lord Loveless—and a hero—the Arrow Ace—who's been searching for someone else like herself... and is furious that all she's found is him.

Since the end of the zine, I've been sitting on this story for a couple years, trying to decide what to do with it now; and I think releasing it during Pride Month is fitting. Consider it a one-week-late offering for Aromantic Visibility Day. I'll be posting it later on today, ideally, if I can get some art done quick—I really wanna draw Lord Loveless—but I wanted to make a post about why I wrote it first.

I hope when y'all read it, you'll see bits of yourself in both the villain and the hero, and bits of beloved villains past that should have done better.

#aromanticism #asexuality #about my writing

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mysticfoxdesigns · 10 months

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✨Welcome to my Blog✨

⚠️Warning⚠️: This blog is rated PG-16, this is your only warning

🌆Table of Contents🌆

💜Introduction💜

💖Links💖

📚Fanfic List📚

🌛Side Blogs🌜

☄️Art Status☄️

🪻Repost Info🪻

🌠Projects🌠

🌟Tags🌟

🌌Asks Rules🌌

🎧Spotify Playlists🎧

💟Reminders💟

This blog is a safe space for queer, POC, disabled, and anyone who doesn't fit into social norms. I WILL NOT TOLERATE BIGOTRY AND FASCISM ON THIS BLOG. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY!!!

🇵🇸This blog supports Palestine🇵🇸

💜Introduction💜

Get to know me a bit better!

Name: Mystic/Kate

Pronouns: she/they

Sexuality: Aromantic Lesbian

Age: 20

Favorite Colors: purple (duh), green, black

Favorite Animals: foxes, siphonophores, sharks, frogs

Special Interests: marine biology, WW2, Transformers, Octonauts, Riot Grrrl movement

Contact: [email protected]

My CAARD

💖Links💖

Links to all accounts I own, aka anything else is pretending to be me

Instagram

Twitch

AO3

Quotev

Redbubble

Inprnt

Kofi

Youtube

Artfol

Spotify

Tiktok

Bluesky (will be added soon)

Twitter (rarely use)

📚Fanfic Links📚

All of my fanfics that I have posted to AO3. Some have been cross posted to my old Wattpad account, but I rarely use that anymore. You do need an AO3 account to view all of my works unfortunately. Due to the AI bs, I have locked all of my fanfics.

Visiting Home (Octonauts)

My Hero ANGST-ademia (BNHA)

The Black Ring Promise (BNHA)

This Was a Mistake (BNHA)

The Window is Frosted Over: Until it Breaks (BNHA)

The Color Court Returns (MLB)

Cyberaligned Continuity (Transformers)

🌛Side Blogs🌜

All of my sideblogs here on Tumblr

@thearomanticautistic (personal blog)

@tf-cyberaligned (fan continuity blog

@turbofox-zines (my zine account)

@mythofthemountainscomic (my original comic, blog is still a wip)

☄️Art Status☄️

What I have open or closed artwise

Commissions: OPEN (PFP commissions)

Art Trades: Mutuals Only

Art Requests: CLOSED (refer to Asks Rules for rules on requests)

🪻Repost Info🪻

My rules on reposts

ALWAYS ask for permission from me before you repost my artwork!

If you get permission, follow these rules

• DO NOT EDIT OUT MY WATERMARK

• Tag me in the post, no matter what platform you post it to

• Do not use my art to sell products!

• Do not edit my art in any way, shape, or form

If you DO NOT have my permission to repost my art

DON'T REPOST IT

🌠Projects🌠

Past and present creative projects I am working on

Myth of the Mountains (present, on hold)

BNHA Whump Bang 2023 (finished)

TF Cyberaligned (present, WIP)

TFRB and RBA Zine (finished)

The Color Court Returns (present, on hold)

TFP x Octonauts (present, WIP)

🌟Tags🌟

All of the tags I use to organize stuff

#mystic chaos

#mysticfox rambles

What I use for posts where I am just rambling about ideas and things in my brain

#mysticfox wips

Any kind of work in progresses I have going on

#tccr updates

Updates about The Color Court Returns

#cyberaligned continuity

#cyberaligned lore

#cyberaligned designs

Anything dealing with my TF continuity Cyberaligned

#octonauts

All octonauts related posts

#reblog from side blog

Reblogs from any of my side blogs

🌌Ask Rules🌌

My rules for asks. They are pretty always open!

Keep it PG-14. Minors follow my account, and while some suggestive stuff is allowed, don't be too graphic about it.

No hate speech, bigotry, or fascism. You'll just be blocked

Don't come in here demanding I update a fic, that will just make me NOT want to write for it anymore.

Art requests MUST BE SFW!! I will not do NSFW art requests.

Questions about any of my projects are always welcomed!

🎧Spotify Playlists🎧

All of the Spotify playlists I have made (and am proud of)

The long playlist my friends hate seeing

My friends told me to make a shorter playlist so here we are

I am one step away from anarchy so have a playlist

Tenya Iida Kinning Hours

CyberAligned Background

Robot Regicide vibes

💟Reminders💟

Some things to keep in mind.

I am disabled. I am an autistic person, so sometimes I won't always get what you mean when sending messages. If it feels like the tone can be confusing, please use tone tags. Also don't be afraid to be direct with me, it's the only way I will get what you are trying to say.

I have many other mental disorders as well that I will not go into. Joking about them is one of the ways I cope, so be warned that dark humor is my kind of humor. This is why my blog is rated PG-16, I am not going to shy away from what I deal with on a day to day basis. Torturing my favorite characters is another way I cope, sorry my blue boys, and many of my posts may be more mature cause of this.

#Spotify #mysticfox rambles #mystic chaos #blog intro #artist intro #artists on tumblr #queer artist #queer writers #disabled artist #disabled writer #actually autistic #autistic adult #autistic artist #autistic writer #ao3 author #mysticfox art

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justicesocietyzine · 26 days

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Wajjs (they/them) is our Social Media Mod! Find them @wajjs

#better heroes zine #better heroes mods #mod: wajjs

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billie-cardboard · 3 months

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Now that Knave 2e is almost out, I feel compelled to revisit my old idea for a hack.

Short version: An early 20th century explorers society on Earth has access to a vehicle capable of interplanar travel, and uses it to visit [insert OSR-compatible setting book of your choice]. There'd also be a few weird mini-settings included, and/or tables for generating your own.

Potentially, there'd be rival societies with looser morals and less scruples that arrived before yours and have been causing havoc for the local settlements and the ecosystem.

I'd want to make lots of thematically appropriate random tables for generating societies, mad scientists, earthling hirelings for the expedition teams, weird pulp gadgets, etc.

Where Knave uses spellbooks, this could use mad science gadgets to capture and recreate magical effects. Like pokeballs for spells.

Bringing magic items and spells back to Earth for study could grant boons to your society. Maybe you'd be able to afford better tech for your next expedition, hire more crew, or upgrade your planar transport.

The main thing that's held me back from committing to writing this dream zine in the past, though, is the feeling I can't quite shake that it'll end up guiding parties toward being awful colonialist conquerors and raiders. I don't want that. I want the vibes of goofy pulp heroes getting isekai'd into zany D&D worlds for long trips, getting to go home after their adventure, and then deciding to come back again; but it's hard to reconcile that with the context seemingly required to create it.

Maybe I'll figure it out one day. Maybe not.

#indie rpg #ttrpg design #tabletop #roleplaying #fantasy #worldbuilding #osr #dnd #pulp adventure #I just really really liked the aesthetics of Atlantis The Lost Empire as a kid #blathering

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bentosandbox · 1 year

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better late than never amirite

i think i haven't posted july (cause I thought global would have released TBC by now...) or october (commission) on here/twitter hopefully i remember to sometime this year

bonus chen edition because well i guess she is my cringefail girlboss blorbo

bonus chenswire edition

bonus bonus extremely boring stuff

films i watched in 2022 (tragedy of macbeth out of picture because it was on the next row)

top 10 (in watched order not a 1-10 ranking)

Marketa Lazarova (1967) Friend was streaming it, liked the script so much I asked my friend for the srt file after Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) Rocks Petite Maman (2021) Personal Attack Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000) :) My Life as a Zucchini (2016) Celine Sciamma truly don't miss Saturday Fiction (2019) It's not a 5/5 movie but...the soul... the period noir... Nope (2022) The Spectacle dot jpg Hands Over The City (1963) yes i watched this just before il siracusano Decision To Leave (2022) yuriyaoi straight romance can't elaborate Puss In Boots (2022) i'm so glad i didn't watch this as a kid i would have nightmares, but as an adult i got to see my traumas on the big screen yippee!!!

missed a local screening of My Broken Mariko because it only happened for ONE DAY fucking insane (I recommend reading the original manga it's so good)

Speaking of books hmm

Swordspoint yuriyaoi... Invisible Ink reread. and I think I need to reread again Fire & Blood read it after watching hotd ep 1 pretty good series btw dare i say even ...the best on-screen yaoiyuri of the year... Eagle Shooting/Condor Heroes Book 1 Not bad Water Margin Didn't I write a angry rant on this. rite of passage i guess...... How to Keep House While Drowning its funny because i WILL do chores......still good though What My Bones Know - insane how trauma can be so isolating yet universal lol A Wizard of Earthsea if only i read this instead of harry potter back then lmao wow

you can now basically psychoanalyse my issues from the last three books I think

Uhhhhhhh what else am I missing - oh yeah I did 3 gamejams this year (Art/Design and a liiiiiitle bit of trying to do the UI in Unity myself instead of giving the pngs to my friends)

my abysmal steam stats told me i only played 5 games this year so I need to get back my gamer license, backlog is like 75% VNs though what's up with that (there's only 4 games but. well)

had a really long blogpost (basically a 'look at all the things you did this year you didnt waste it' thing thus the above lists) but i think i'll just keep it to my notion notes lest this post becomes a traumadumping ground ecks dee tl;dr failed a Very Important (to me) Thing early 2022 that kind of shattered any crumb of self-esteem i had and made me question everything i did onwards (especially in regards to doujin stuff) and then basically physical health issues affecting mental health and vice versa which is fun but fuck it we ball.....(try)

don't really have any solid 'resolutions' (that i would remember to do) other than to 'live' more than just 'survive' as edgy as that sounds 🥴oh wait oc zine yea yea and go into illustration full time h-haha........... should really get around to making a patreon/fanbox but i really hate the idea of paywalling

also signed up for a AK doujin event in Nagoya in March so I now have a very heavy motivation to finish the second half of my LGD doujin and hopefully I get to table at AX too dot dot dot

#bentotexto

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kumeko · 3 months

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A/N: For the Moments of Solitude zine! I wanted to try something a little different with my style for this fic. I also really like bullying Paimon XD.

…

The world almost ended in a torrent of rain. From the rooftops of Liyue, Xingqiu wiped the water from his eyes as he watched adepti and humans alike fight Osial before it could destroy the city—maybe even the entire country. Swords clashed, sending sparks in the distance, and even over the storm he could hear the din of battle.

And, at the heart of it all, a woman stood resolutely against the waves of enemies. In the gloom, Xingqiu could just make out Lumine’s familiar profile, her confident stance as she raised her weapon again and again. Like a hero of old, she kept fighting no matter what evil was thrown at her.

Even as he fought the monsters below, his eyes were drawn to her again and again.

Lumine’s hands were small, for a world-saver. She had fought Harbingers, abyssal lords, and ancient monsters; every deed added to her name made her feel larger than life. Yet, she was shorter than him, and her hands were small. Xingqiu’s hand covered hers entirely as they both reached for the same book in a second-hand shop. Her skin was rough from battle. A sharp contrast to his own, softer palms.

He smiled automatically as he peered down at a familiar mop of messy blonde hair. “I did not expect to see you here.”

Lumine looked up at the same time, her honey-coloured eyes meeting his. Her lips parted in surprise, though she didn’t retract her hand, her grip on the book firm. It was a funny sense of stubbornness and possessiveness. “Oh.”

“What, did you find it—” Paimon poked her head around the bookshelf. Noticing Xingqiu, she cut herself off and squeaked, “It’s the bookworm!”

Lumine shot her a tired look. Her tone was icy. “Paimon.”

“Oops.” Paimon covered her mouth and giggled sheepishly. She wore all her emotions on her sleeve, the complete opposite of her taciturn companion. Hovering at eye level, she rubbed her neck as she apologized. “Sorry?”

“Are you?” Lumine questioned, her free hand on her hip.

“It is fine.” Xingqiu chuckled, lowering his hand as he ceded the book. It was hard to feel insulted in the face of such guileless honesty. “It is nice to see you two again. Especially after everything that happened last week.”

“Did you see it?” Recovering from her faux pas, Paimon floated up and boxed the air. Her smile was as broad as the sea as she puffed her chest proudly. “Lumine was so strong! And cool!”

“You were there too?” Lumine asked, ignoring Paimon entirely. She pulled out the book as she spoke, a volume of Inazuma’s travel guide. He didn’t miss the slight upturn of her lips at the acquisition of her target.

“Yes, mostly to help protect the town and clean up any smaller skirmishes. Nothing compared to what you did.” Even now, he could remember how the sun shone on her on the docks as she stared at the calming seas, her body weary from the battle. A noble profile. Xingqiu smiled at Paimon. “You are right, she did look cool and powerful.”

Paimon chortled. “Of course I’m right!”

Lumine flushed lightly, the back of her neck reddening at the unexpected praise. Despite that, she didn’t deny his words. “It was a hard fight.”

Hard. Xingqiu snickered. Most people wouldn’t use such a simple word to describe a fight with a sea god, let alone one that saved an entire city. Then again, he’d long heard of Lumine’s exploits before he’d met her; maybe this was all in a day’s work for a woman who’d faced a dragon and lived to tell the tale. When Lumine looked at him curiously, he cleared his throat and changed the topic. “That book—are you travelling to Inazuma next?”

“I was thinking of it.” Lumine tapped the book cover lightly, her expression wistful. It was easy to guess who she was thinking of. The posters of her missing brother were plastered on every board. “I’m not sure which place is better to go to.”

Xingqiu laced his hands behind his back. It would be a long time before he could leave Liyue, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought of it. He read every travel book, every piece of news, anything that kept him abreast of the world. And all of that had told him one thing: Liyue and Mondstadt weren’t the only places facing a crisis.

Their world could use a hero.

Fortunately, there was one right here. Xingqiu glanced at the book. “Inazuma’s a good choice as any.”

“It is?” Lumine cocked her head slightly, her eyes beckoning him to continue.

“I trust him,” Paimon chimed in confidently, her hands on her hips. “He’s a nerd! He knows everything!”

“I’m not sure if I should let that slide…” Xingqiu frowned, glancing at the hovering sidekick. At least, he assumed she was a sidekick. Considering he had never seen nor heard of anything like Paimon, for all he knew she really was a pet or emergency food at this point.

“Pretend she doesn’t exist,” Lumine replied evenly, talking over Paimon’s horrified gasp. “It’s easier that way.”

Indignant, Paimon stomped her feet in the air and shouted, “What do you mean it’s easier?”

Lumine didn’t even flinch. “Anyways…”

“Anyways!?” Paimon screeched.

Clearing his throat, Xingqiu followed Lumine’s lead. “The other countries are more or less equidistant from here. Inazuma’s a closed-off country, but from what little news escapes its borders, the Electro Archon is keeping her people in a tight grip. In a contract of eternity.”

Liyue had been like that, in a sense. However, it had been a contract that both god and humans alike wanted, one where they had chosen to stay still. And now the contract was broken and Liyue was forced to step forward. Alone. To find its own way, with or without the gods.

It was a strange thought.

Xingqiu forced himself to continue. “I hear the people there could use a hero like you. They require your help.”

Of all the reactions he expected, a frown was not one of them. Lumine shook her head. “I’m not a hero. I’m not interested. I’m only trying to find my brother.”

Something coiled in him at the answer. “I am not suggesting abandoning your brother, only that you can help them like you helped us. All while searching for him. It is no different than your current actions to date.”

“It wasn’t like I planned any of that…” Lumine tapped the book again, her expression thoughtful. “It just happened. I’d rather not get dragged into another mess again. It takes up too much time.”

The coil wound tighter. Mess. The potential destruction of Liyue, and she saw it as a bother, a mess. A time-waster.

Heroes didn’t talk like that.

Lumine gnawed her lip, not noticing his silence. “If it’s closed off…if Aether’s there, of course no one’s heard of him…” She nodded. “Thanks, I think I’ll go there after all.”

It was a usual thing: Chongyun came to find Xingqiu once a week like clockwork, his expression hopeful as he asked for leads for an exorcism. Or rather, a ghost strong enough to last until Chongyun could actually exorcise instead of just relying on his ridiculous aura.

“Found anything?” Chongyun asked, his eyes bright and hopeful.

“I…” And this was the part where Xingqiu normally laid out the groundwork for his next prank, his next stress relief. This was the part where he got Chongyun in trouble yet again and then bailed him out when it got over his friend’s head.

I’m not interested in helping.

His breath hitched. The memory stung.

“There’s a village filled with ghosts,” Xingqiu replied instead, discarding plans he’d made months in advance. “I’ll lead you there.”

“You’re sure it’s here?” Chongyun asked, scratching his head as he glanced around the mountainside. The forest was thick, making it hard to see anything but the small dirt path leading forward. “We’ve been walking for hours now and I haven’t even seen any villagers.”

“The villagers are all ghosts, of course you won’t see them yet.” Xingqiu exhaled softly. His chest still felt heavy, his body wound up. Maybe he was coming down with something. Maybe he should just abandon this all and go back to his original plan.

“I can back that up,” Hu Tao chirped cheerfully as she slung an arm over Xingqiu’s shoulder and effectively blocked any chances of escape. Sometimes, he wondered if she was a mind reader. “Ghost stories are my speciality, of course!”

Chongyun’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, his frown growing deeper as he regarded them. “Somehow, that makes me more suspicious.”

“Huhhh?” Hu Tao drawled in mock shock and horror. She clutched her chest with her free hand. “Why? We’re only trying to help, right?”

It was easy to slip into old patterns, old taunts. Xingqiu didn’t have to think as he buried his face in his hand and sighed. He slumped his shoulders slightly. “I had spent so much time and effort researching cases for you. However, if you do not wish to delve into—”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Chongyun interrupted, his expression turning apologetic. He rubbed the back of his neck and bowed slightly. “Sorry for doubting you, thank you for the effort, and I won’t let you down.”

Xingqiu suppressed the urge to laugh. Their acting was atrocious, sure, but it didn’t take much to convince Chongyun. Even though by now, after all of their pranks, he should have been ready for it. Yet, despite that, their friend fell for the traps every time. How’d that saying go? Fool me twice, shame on me?

“Ohh, confidence. The village is just up ahead.” Hu Tao grinned like a Cheshire cat as she withdrew, her arm slipping back to her side once more. She cocked her head and taunted, “You need any help? They’re peaceful enough but there’s a lot of them.”

Her voice dropped eerily but Chongyun didn’t so much as flinch as he spun on his heel. His shoulders squared, he marched forward. “I’ll be fine! This problem’ll be solved in no time.”

“Will he?” Hu Tao wondered idly, stroking her chin as they lagged behind. “They’re a stubborn group. I think they’ve been here for centuries.”

“If he could do it in the first place, we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Xingqiu replied, watching as Chongyun started to call out for the ghosts.

“Boo, if we’re both on the same side, we can’t bet on it.” Hu Tao sighed, her cheeks puffing as she pouted. Her disappointment lasted a whole minute before she glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, her expression sharp. “So, what’s up?”

It took him a moment to realize she was asking him seriously. Xingqiu raised a brow. “What do you mean?”

“Well, this is an actual ghost.” Hu Tao clasped her hands behind her back and stretched her arms. The entire time, she kept her eyes on him, studying his reaction. “I only came because you said you’d set up a prank, but this is actual help.”

“It can be both,” Xingqiu replied evenly, averting his gaze. Hu Tao had always been observant in the worst ways. “And I’ve always helped him.”

Hu Tao snorted. “Not with actual exorcising.”

“Even with actual exorcising,” Xingqiu refuted, stubbornly repeating his point.

“And I’m a terrible salesman. You had him actually try to exorcise the last Yaksha last time,” she scoffed, shooting him a disbelieving look.

“The rumours sounded like a ghost story,” he defended, biting his cheek at the memory. “Besides, I helped sort out the situation after.”

“Uh-huh. And that time you sent him to Xiangling’s kitchen?” Hu Tao crossed her arms as she stepped in front of him, forcing him to stop. Despite her short stature, her presence was overwhelming. “So, what really happened?”

There was no point in hiding it from her; she’d only get more annoying and persistent. And Xingqiu had seen the lengths she’d gone through for a sale. He exhaled softly. “The battle last week.”

“Ah, the big one,” she said, as though there was any other one to talk about. Hu Tao shrugged carelessly. “I mean, it was great for business, don’t get me wrong, but…it was a little too close for comfort.”

Even now, Xingqiu could feel the cold sea water pelting down on him, see the choppy waves from Osial’s rage, hear the low din of a fight. He bit his lip. Close was an understatement. “Yes, it was.”

“So?” Hu Tao rested a hand on her hip and leaned closer. Her eyes were flecked with gold. He was certain she’d never heard nor understood the concept of ‘personal space.’ “It’s not like that’s the first time you’ve almost died.”

For some reason, that made him think of Lumine and he felt a sharp twist in his chest. “It wasn’t that.”

“Then what was it?” Hu Tao poked his chest, annoyed. “Get to the point.”

He rubbed the spot she’d hit. “Lumine…I met with her after.”

“Our great hero?” She chuckled gleefully, rubbing her hands together. “Now, she’s good for business and safety. Even without buying a single policy from me, she’s already helped me with some clients. Pro bono!”

“Did she now?” It sounded exactly like Lumine. It sounded so much like her and that was the part that bothered him the most. “For all she claimed she did not want to help others, she does.”

Her laughter faded and Hu Tao regarded him quietly. She reached down and squeezed his hand. “You’re disappointed?”

“Maybe.” He didn’t know what to call the heavy feeling in him, the one that refused to leave no matter how deeply he breathed. “I do not know.”

“You’re disappointed,” Hu Tao repeated, more confidently. She laced her fingers above her and stretched her arms. “Why?”

Xingqiu bit his cheek. “She does not behave like a hero, she does not desire to be one either, and yet…”

“She is one?” Hu Tao guessed, finishing his sentence when he fell silent. “She doesn’t sound like a hero from a story, does she?”

He flinched. “When you put it like that, it sounds childish.”

“It is,” she agreed amiably, though there was nothing scornful about her words. “Lumine didn’t really want to help me either; I kinda forced her to. And she does commissions for money.”

“Anything else?” Xingqiu asked dryly, scowling.

“But, you know, even though she complained, she still helped. And not just me.” Hu Tao smiled brightly, her eyes glowing. “That sounds like one of your stories, right? A reluctant hero?”

“That…” He pursed his lips. Perhaps that was the difference between reading and living through it; stories with heroes like that were more exciting from a distance, where you could clearly see the characters’ thoughts. With a real person, you never knew what they were thinking, why they were acting, where they would end up. The final page was still unwritten.

Hu Tao added, “Besides, we’re at the start of her journey, who knows what she’ll be like by the end.”

Xingqiu stared at her. What a stupidly simple concept. He should have thought of it earlier. He shouldn’t have forgotten something so instrumental to any hero’s journey. With a sigh, he raked a hand through his hair and shook himself out of his stupor. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am!” Hu Tao laughed cockily, jabbing a thumb to her chest. “Who do you think I am?”

“Right, right.” Xingqiu glanced ahead of the path. Chongyun was long gone by now and the forest was eerily silent. “Should we go look for him?”

“Uh…” Hu Tao scratched her cheek before reluctantly nodding. “Yeah, he’s been quiet for too long and that village…he might have bitten off more than he can chew.”

“You said they weren’t dangerous.”

“Mostly?” Hu Tao elbowed him as they hurried forward. “Maybe you can be the hero this time.”

Months later, Xingqiu read about the fall of Baal, the changes in Inazuma, and the blonde stranger who’d instigated it all.

He laughed.

He shouldn’t have doubted in the first place: for all her words, Lumine was a hero.

#genshin impact #xingqiu #lumine #chongyun #hu tao #paimon #fanfic

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nuclearjacks · 1 month

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13, 15, 23 for ask game 👀

13. A character or ship you haven’t drawn/written for yet but would like to someday?

MegaRod 100%. They're one of my favorite ships in the TF fandom but god I can't believe I've never made content for them ;-;

I have one spicy wip that's been laying around in my folders since 2022, and was going to make a comic for a zine I had to drop out of with hints of MegaRod but it's all stuff I never got around to or never finished. I need to fix that in the future >:)

They are my beloveds who are such beautiful mirrors of one another, on top of I relate so heavily with their characters for one reason or another so they mean a lot to me <3

15. Have you noticed your style change over time?

Absolutely! It's much easier to notice the changes over a larger amount of time like my art now vs my 2021 art. You can see the drastic change in my lineart and especially with my shape work and how saturated my colors are now pictured below vvv

But there's definitely still some changes I've been noticing here and there in the past year, much more subtle and much more gradual. I've been improving on my speed and simplification of designs into my style, especially with Transformers. And I've also been getting a lot better with backgrounds/actually adding backgrounds in now bdavbdkvb not to mention, experimenting with lighting and learning about things like sub-surface scattering, reflective lighting, ambient lighting and a whole bunch of pretty overwhelming concepts tbh sdbksdbv

This year so far has mostly been a lot of experimenting and much more experimenting to come and I'm excited to see what my style evolves into next : )

23. Has your favourite character/ship changed over time?

Probably more my understanding of my favorite characters and ships.

I still ADORE MegOp and the mix of tragedy, pining and fluff it is but my understanding and interpretation of their characters has changed drastically from when I first entered this fandom at 18, now 23.

There were definitely influences from my anime fandom days where I thought "Orion is so baby and is a precious cinnamon roll who couldn't hurt a fly, lookit how smol he is with his big beefy warrior boyfriend who protecs him" to "Orion is a capable character who, while naive about the world, could be just as smart as Megatronus and in doing so created a whole other faction that inadvertently worked alongside a corrupt political system that Megatronus was trying to deconsruct" (Also not hating on anyone who still likes character interpretations like the first, it's just not my thing that much anymore personally kjbdvksbv)

I still like the concept of big beefy warrior boyfriend protecting his small librarian (cause c'mon that's just fun ksdbvksdb), but I merge it with my larger understanding of the classism themes, alongside the inherent religious themes of Optimus becoming a Prime that I'm such a bitch for kdbsdkjbv

Same goes for Rodimus in MTMTE. He went from "Haha he's just like me fr, lookit this ADHD baby who can't focus for a second haha he always forgets paperwork and has never done wrong I don't see how someone can hate him" to "Rodimus has done so much wrong and that's what makes him an insanely relatable character. People hate him because he's genuinely fucked up so bad and placed blame on everyone but himself because he wants so badly to be the hero of the story instead of the person everyone sees as the 'fuck up'. The fact he keeps trying to live up to a title that's bullshit and to a person (Optimus) who doubts himself every second of the day and doesn't see how fucked his own lineage actually is because the person he looks up to most is hiding things just like him and has fucked up just like he has, as has every other prime before him. But damn it, he's going to try and do better this time, he has to. Also he's so ADHD-coded it's not even funny."

Tldr: I merge the simpler concepts I loved when I was younger with the more complex concepts I love now that I'm older to create a nuanced narrative of the characters and their relationships while being a self indulgent fangirl skbgsbbihuft

#long post #fandom ask game #transformers #maccadams

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