#between the hot weather we're having here lately

[chumpovodir]

the temptation to get a buzzcut again.....

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

stay by my side

↖ navigation: nct masterlist || main masterlist

pairing: bf! jeno x fem! reader

↬ tags: jeno refers to you as baby, ft! 00z because when will they not cause chaos, jeno and reader shares a home/ apartment!, reader is also 00z's friend!!, brief mention of period (and jeno having a period tracker for you)

summary: nothing went to plan, but jeno wasn't gonna complain

word count: 1.3k words

jeno dons on his outer coat, checking himself in the mirror before exiting the bathroom. a little worried that you hadn't gotten out of bed despite the sun being sky high already, he strides over to you.

"baby, i'm about to go out. are you up?"

he wasn't going to leave the house until he knew you were awake. the sheets rustled and he pulls back the cover by a bit, "rise and shine my sleepy baby." he sits by the edge of your shared bed, head cocked to the side as he observed each and every of your moves.

you made a noise at the back of your throat—a protest to having been woken by him—and opened your eyes to meet jeno's twinkling (and more awake) ones, "hey..."

jeno immediately frowned at the scratchy tone of your voice, "you don't sound good. you feeling alright?"

“’m just tired. are you leaving now?” you cleared your throat as if attempting to get rid of the sleep in your system. “yeah. i’m out with the boys for a bowling session."

he brushes the stray strands of hair away from your face and catches you leaning into his hold. gently, he pressed his palm directly against forehead.

good, no temperature. he tucks the covers comfortably around your chest, patting you as he did. you wiggled a bit to lie down on your side, eyes half-opened as you stared back at him.

"will you be alright?" he repeats again, fingers intertwined with yours.

you yawned, “i should be. just really tired.” jeno cups your face in his hands and pressed multiple kisses all over your face, causing you to briefly smile at the affectionate action. "i'll be back as soon as i can."

"i will miss you."

that few words seemed to pierce his heart and it throbbed uncomfortably against his ribs.

as he stands up, he was torn between hanging out with his friends and also to just be there for you. you sensed his hesitance, squeezing his arm, "jeno, i'll be okay. our friends are gonna make a fuss if you don't show your handsome face in a few."

"anything you're on my hot dial, alright? just ring me." he emphasized, making sure you acknowledge his request before he leaves the room. he glances through the whole house, making sure that windows were shut, the hot water had just been boiled and everything was placed away neatly—just the way you liked it.

momentary worry gave way to anticipation when he sees the message from jaemin, telling them they were waiting downstairs. he slips on his sneakers and locks the door with a soft click, dashing down the steps 2 at a time towards the apartment's carpark.

"yo! you're here!" jaemin greets from behind the steering wheel as the window winds down. "hurry up or we're going to be late!" haechan—who was in the shotgun seat—hollered at him.

jeno makes his way over, but stopped when the image of you pitifully (you claimed you were fine...but were you really?) lying in bed surfaced in his mind. did he imagine it or were you looking a little paler too, with a slight hint of pain lacing your voice earlier?

"i...don't think i'm gonna go with you guys."

"look at him. it's definitely a lover's quarrel." haechan teased, arm slightly leaning out of the window frame. renjun cranes his neck from the back seats, "if you're grounded or something, then we're just gonna go ahead."

jaemin makes a show of inching the car forward by a few centimetres, causing all three of them to laugh.

"the kind of friends i have." jeno dramatically shakes his head. "one, i'm not having a lover's quarrel. two, i'm not grounded. the thing is, my lover is just feeling under the weather and i don't feel assured leaving her alone."

"jeno being a sappy lover is difficult for my mind to wrap around. he didn't even visit me when i broke my arm." jaemin joked to break the tension and everyone laughed again.

"i'm sorry guys. i know we've planned this for a while now."

haechan waved him off, "we get it, loverboy. now go before i start gagging!" renjun smacks the back of haechan's head, earning him a pained "ow!", before looking back jeno, "jeno-ah, just go up. we'll get going first."

jeno spun around, "i'll treat y'all to something next time. i promise."

----

as jeno makes his way back up, he receives a notification from the period tracker app and everything clicks into place. the way you were subtly hunched over yesterday, mentioning about how your back hurt and even the resurgence of your chocolate cravings all made sense now.

jeno slots the key into the lock and swings open the door. as expected, you were in deep sleep considering the fact that everything was still in place. toeing off his shoes by the door, he closed it shut behind him and hurriedly made his way over to the room.

"baby..." he greets and you groggily gazed at him. "didn't you just leave...? why did you come back?" despite your words sounding like you wanted him to go, your opened arms begged him to stay. and stay he would, as he comes up to you, "i'm worried for you, so i came back."

the face you made was worth it because you tugged him even closer, till his entire body was up on the bed and toppled over you. with his arms bracketing your body, you were effectively caged in his warm embrace.

"you didn't have to..." he chuckles when you hid your warm face in the juncture of his neck, his body relaxing knowing that it was the right thing to have chosen to stay by your side.

"i know that. i wanted to. the guys were chill with it." he pushed himself up on his elbows, a hair's breadth away from your blushing face. "so...how does netflix and chill sound?"

"i would love that. hopefully our friends don't get too mad that we're spending time again this week."

----

much to your surprise, the other 3 made their appearance by the door, armed with takeout and other goodies mid movie.

"what are you doing here?" jeno stands with his arms on his hips, bewildered. the movie was playing in the background and you peeked out your head from amidst the soft blankets, "haechan? jaemin and renjun?"

"because these two were bickering about how not fun it would be without you or actually either of you two. and then when we reached the alley, the booking got cancelled because we were actually really late. so we decided to crash your pity party." renjun summarized, not forgetting to point to the two troublemakers.

haechan being haechan, shuffles into the dim apartment which was set up for the movie, "i think this is better than the bowling alley. there were too many kids there anyways." jaemin huffs, "you're the real problem here haech. anyways where is my bestie!"

jaemin pushes past jeno, sheds off his coat and makes himself comfortable beside you. he gave you a once over before wagging his fingers, "girl, you look like you need some of these food. eat up and don't even try to feed your self-sufficient boyfriend."

you burst out laughing at the whole situation: an appalled jeno staring at the three of them making themselves in you two's shared home (you did say they were welcomed anytime they wanted to), haechan already starting to eat the takeout, renjun raiding your kitchen for utensils and cups, jaemin who was outright haggling you in front of your boyfriend.

jeno clambers onto the sofa, manhandling you out of jaemin's grasp. jaemin huffs, but immediately got distracted by the food haechan held out to him, renjun automatically rewinding the movie to the start so that they could watch it.

"a stay at home kinda day huh?"

"wouldn't change it for the world."

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[cobaltcarbonpotassium420]

lemon sorbet - gojo satoru

content: 1.4k words, gn!reader, can be read as platonic or romantic, wrote this with teenage gojo in mind, gojo is an annoying little shit

author's note: it has been so long!! uni has kept me dead, and the summer weather has continued to keep me dead :/ anyway out of annoyance at the heat and my burning desire for lemon sorbet, i figured i'd write this. also i somehow have a cold... in july... and the boredom is turning my brain to mush so apols for a slightly shite fic, i just needed something to do :p

"is it possible to sweat from the bottom of your feet?" "how would i know? i don't know shit about biology."

the summer heat had never felt so stifling before. in fact, even this wasn't an appropriate way to explain the weather. the heat was suffocating. not a single breeze passed through the town, fans and air conditioning were rendered useless, and even going down to the river in the shade of the trees did nothing since the stones by the riverside had absorbed all of the heat from the summer sun and were probably hot enough to grill food on. as the saying goes though, all clouds have a silver lining. in this case, the silver lining wasn't cute summery outfits, or beach days with friends, or whatever else typical july days offered. instead, the oppressive heat finally gave you an excuse to hang out with the ordinarily (and at times inappropriately) adventurous and spontaneous gojo satoru while doing nothing.

"freezing cubes of tea so the tea doesn't get diluted when the ice melts? that's genius! where did you learn about this?" "uh, the internet? it's kind of an open secret."

on any average day, gojo would have dragged you out to a cafe on the other side of town but even he had no energy left after the heat made it all evaporate from his body. as such, he had no choice but to lay on the cold wooden floor in your room so he could have at least some company. your laptop was in front of you, open to the last page of the dozen tabs you had been scrolling through in your boredom before giving up and deciding to just press your face to the floor in a futile effort to cool down a little more. just next to you gojo was aimlessly flicking through a pile of books, manga, and magazines which he had grabbed from various places around your room. currently, he was skimming the pages of a week-old local newspaper that was on the pile of mail you needed to bin.

"strips in a club, five letters? dollar doesn't fit… maybe paper?"

his questions had started to become a little annoying, but it beat staring under the furniture and wondering how long it had been since you'd moved it out of the way and mopped the floor under it.

"it's bacon. the clue means 'club' as in a 'club sandwich'. they've used that clue before, editor must be getting lazy. maybe they've recycled the whole crossword." "you really think so? okay then, what about poker term, or a mount when read backwards? four letters." "ante. yeah they definitely did this one a while back, sometime late last year i think. i remember solving that clue and thinking how nice it would be to go to italy. maybe try some authentic gelato."

gojo immediately perked up. his previous position had made you wonder for a second if it was possible for a person to melt, but now all of his energy had seemed to be restored in merely the blink of an eye.

"oh that sounds like a good idea! we could go do that now!" "do what, go to italy? for starters, i absolutely don't have the money for a plane ticket. and anyway, if it's so scorching hot here then just imagine how hot italy would be. we're barely hanging on by a thread here, i think we might actually die if we go to italy." gojo's energy was normally infectious, but somewhere between the temperature and humidity it got misdirected and just couldn't reach you.

"nonono, although if you really want to go i'll just pay for the flight." "absolutely not." "fine. but italy wasn't what i meant. i meant we could go get some ice cream from the train station! you know that's where the best ice cream is." "that's a lovely idea and all, but how are we meant to get there? not like we have a car, there's no buses in that direction, and getting a taxi just to the train station seems a little excessive. and they're shit expensive." "we have legs!"

upon hearing those three words, your body finally granted you enough energy to lift yourself up, even if just to support yourself on your elbows for long enough so you could stare gojo right in the eyes before giving him a definitive "fuck no." and slumping back down on the floor.

gojo wasn't one to give up on an idea so quickly though, and upon seeing him sit up and drag himself closer to you so he could try to annoy you into giving in, you simply prayed that there was a benevolent deity which would take pity on you in this state and let this whole ordeal blow over quickly. unfortunately, even the gods were tired from the heat today, and so the discussion had to be dragged out for much longer than you wanted it to.

"please?" "no." "pretty please?" "no." "pretty pretty please?" "no." "pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?" "like the cherry on top of an ice cream sundae?" "yes!" "still no!" "argh! you never want to do anything fun!"

gojo threw himself on top of you, and from his voice you could hear his pout, both actions which you were sure were worthy of an acting accolade, but by this point the heat had exhausted you completely and your eyes were closed which was the only surefire defence against gojo's theatricality.

a few moments passed with neither of you making a move. nothing was said, but you knew gojo's actions were childishly telling you that unless you agreed to his stupid plan then there was no way he was moving.

"if we go then it's my treat, y'know, since i dragged you all the way there."

no response. gojo started drumming his fingers on the floor, thinking up his next course of action, and then his phone screen lit up with a text from geto and presented him with the perfect plan.

"they have lemon sorbet today! i know you love that." he dragged out the word "love" for far too long. he could never understand why that flavour was among your favourites, and ever since he found out he teased you for it constantly. out of all of the delicious, mouthwatering flavours that you could choose from, you chose the most vile, sour flavour nine times out of ten.

"they have lemon sorbet every day." "yeah, but geto just texted me. he said that it's just flying out of the shop today, and they're down to their last two containers."

now this had the potential to change your mind. your interest was piqued, and gojo could see how your facial expression subtly changed from where he was sat.

"you know, they only get deliveries twice a week, and today was their delivery day. that means you'll have to wait at least three whole days until the next time you can savour the taste of their refreshing lemon sorbet." gojo spoke slowly, even more so on those last three words. the gentle lilt of his voice was starting to sound nice, almost as nice as the sorbet he was talking about.

"three whole days?" "yeah, or maybe even longer. you know lemon sorbet is gonna be flying off the shelves right now, and i doubt a tiny ice cream place in the middle of nowhere will be at the top of the suppliers list."

at some point during gojo's very convincing speech, you had sat up without realising it. the gravity of the situation suddenly fell upon you. lemon sorbet was indeed very popular, and the supplier's priority would probably be larger cities with lots of customers.

"you might be right… and the sorbet they sell at the store isn't that good…"

a twinkle appeared in gojo's eyes. he knew he was close. he could practically taste the chocolate chip cookie ice cream he'd get.

"if you want, we can take a tub as well, and ask for a few scoops to take home too."

a moment passed. and then another. gojo scrutinised your facial expression. he watched the way you stared ahead at the wall, and the way your eyebrows slightly furrowed together. you licked your lips ever so slightly, and then took a deep breath.

"fine. we can go." "oh hell yeah!" "you're paying though." "you know what, i'm not feeling it anymore."

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

chapter 8.

Note: as I needed a break from writing the Dead Man fic yesterday and today, I was in need of my silly little fighter!Sihtric, because his story isn't over yet. Other Fighter chapters are in my masterlist.

Warnings: fluff, suggestive, little bit of angst. mention of alcohol/getting drunk, Sihtric's breeding kink.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: Sihtric became a whole different man after his retirement, and not in a way you had expected.

wordcount: 4,1k

Masterlist

'I think I need to remind you who I am.'

'Gods,' Sihtric groaned.

You looked up from your book, annoyed, having read the same page five times already, as your man kept distracting you. Sihtric leaned with both hands against the glass window of your hotel room, shirtless while wearing black swimming trunks, overlooking Bondi beach. Him being constantly shirtless has been the only pleasant thing so far, ever since you arrived at the hotel room yesterday morning, which you had only left for breakfast, lunch and dinner… in the hotel itself.

'It's so fucking hot,' he whined.

'What did you expect?' you glared at your husband from the bed, 'it's Australia.' 

You rolled your eyes just before Sihtric turned to face you.

'Yeah, well, I thought everyone always exaggerated,' Sihtric huffed.

It was only two in the afternoon, and Sihtric had been getting on your nerves for hours already. You loved your husband, more than anything, but ever since he retired from his fighting career about a month ago, he had changed. Sihtric clearly always used his job as a way to channel his bloodlust, so to speak, but since he had given it up for you, not even punching a bag or a sparring partner anymore, he had been incredibly hard to be around. He was constantly complaining about everything and he was even more hot headed than ever before. Sihtric was also much hornier than ever before, which you didn't even know was possible and hadn't been a problem back home, but it is a problem now. He had been so determined to go to Australia with you, where the heat was unbearable this time of year, so it was even too hot to have sex. And when your already short fused husband couldn't get it on with you, because the weather made you both feel slow and lightheaded, he became even more insufferable to be around, you found out.

'Look,' you said, taking a deep breath as you closed your book, 'you were so pushy about going here, and now we're here. Will you at least pretend to enjoy it?'

Sihtric stared at you, with dark eyes and his jaw clenched, which told you he felt provoked by you. Which also meant he was getting turned on, while you started to lose your patience with him and his behaviour.

'I didn't even want to go here,' you sighed, 'I'm here for you, Siht, okay? If we're going to sit on our fucking asses all day in a hotel room, because it's so fucking hot,' you mocked Sihtric's voice, 'then what the hell are we doing here in the first place?! Such a waste of money,' you muttered.

'You're mocking me?' Sihtric asked, his voice low and calm, but the fire in his eyes burned heavily as his mismatched pair were still locked on you.

'God!' you yelled and jumped up, 'you're absolutely unbelievable lately! You keep complaining about the heat, in fucking Australia! So, yeah, maybe I am mocking you!' you hissed.

You walked into the hallway of your hotel suite and grabbed your flip flops, as well as your bag, wanting to leave the room before you'd climb the walls, or worse; hear another dumb complaint coming out of your man's mouth. But Sihtric was quick to corner you, like he had done that very first time you ever met, during his intake at your office. His chest heaved up and down steadily, with big breaths, and he stared down at you with his silly intimidation tactic.

'You raise your voice at me?' Sihtric breathed as you rolled your eyes.

His eyes darted between your lips and your eyes, before he eyed you up and down completely. He liked that little summer dress you had on. And he had definitely loved the sight of you bending over in it to pick a pen up from the floor, which he deliberately dropped before he had leaned back on the bed about an hour ago, waiting for you to notice the seemingly innocent pen, that had probably rolled off the desk. Unaware of Sihtric's trick, you had picked up the pen before you went to read your book, not long after he set his plan in motion, and he had been horny ever since, but even the airco didn't cool off your room, he thought, which left him frustrated.

'Hm?' Sihtric hummed and took your chin, firm but gentle, forcing you to look up at him, 'you mock me and raise your voice at me?'

'And?' you shrugged, feeling a cheeky grin tug at your lips.

'And?' Sihtric repeated, 'do I need to remind you who I am?' he cockily held his chin up high as he looked down at you, and he licked his lips.

You provoked him on purpose by rolling your eyes once more. Sihtric may be behaving incredibly boyish as of late, but you still enjoyed riling him up, as you thought he was so hot and sexy when he felt he had to be dominant towards you. And riling him up also meant he wouldn't complain for at least a few minutes.

'Yeah, I think I do,' he said, then hummed again, 'I think I need to remind you who I am,' he kept holding your chin as his free hand moved up your thigh, sliding underneath your short, floral dress.

Your breath hitched as his hand moved up towards your bare buttocks, and he squeezed your ass hard.

'I already thought you weren't wearing any panties,' Sihtric chuckled mischievously and bit down on his lip for a moment, 'yeah, you definitely need to be reminded who you belong to, and who you are talking to with that little attitude of yours.'

'Let us not speak about attitudes in this room, Sihtric Kjartansson,' you taunted.

'So you do know who you're talking to?' Sihtric husked, rubbing his big, warm hand over your ass before he bruisingly squeezed the skin again, making you squirm slightly as he still had you backed into a corner. 'You need to be taught a lesson about the way you speak to your husband, little miss,' he smirked, knowing you were getting aroused too.

'Sure,' you feigned a yawn.

'You're asking for a good spanking,' Sihtric murmured.

'Am I?' you asked innocently.

'Mhm,' he hummed and rolled his hips against yours, his hard cock pleasantly putting pressure onto your wet folds, 'you need a hard lesson, it seems. But don't worry,' your husband chuckled, 'I will teach you some manners.'

Sihtric moved his hand from your chin down to your throat, wrapping around you with the exact amount of intensity you enjoy, while he started to tease your core with his fingertips.

'When I'm using that tight pussy of yours,' his voice raspy, 'you will say "yes, sir", "no, sir", and "sorry, sir",' Sihtric hummed at the arousing thought, 'you will say "more, sir", "harder, sir", and most of all,' he smiled, 'you will say "please, sir, fuck me a little deeper, sir".'

'You think I will?'

'Oh, you will, baby girl,' he whispered.

'Well, I think you need a cold shower,' you shrugged.

'I think we both do,' Sihtric smiled, 'I think you need to rid me of some anger,' he said, then threw you over his shoulder and carried you into the large bathroom.

After you had dinner in the hotel, you struggled to walk down the stairs of the main entrance, while Sihtric held you close, his hand placed on your lower back. Your husband had a lot of built up anger in him lately, and by the time he was done with you in that shower, you were sore and numb at the same time. Sihtric seemed fine, albeit a little on edge and still complaining, but at least less horny and rather satisfied, for now.

Since Bondi beach was packed with tourists, you both agreed to take a cab to Maroubra beach, which was rather empty when you arrived, about an hour before sunset. Sihtric held your hand as he walked you up to the sandy beach, where he picked you up in his strong arms to carry you closer to the water, then onto a large rock that gave you the perfect view of the setting sun. You spread out the towel you had packed and before you could even blink, Sihtric pulled you down with him and held you in his arms, lovingly pecking your cheek and neck.

'I love you, bunny,' he whispered.

'I love you too, tiger,' you smiled.

God, you thought, how handsome Sihtric looked right now. His hair braided and tied back into a short ponytail, the setting sun casting an orange glow on his beautifully scarred face, while his big eyes looked at you in awe. His white, thin sleeveless shirt showed off his biceps while his swimming trunks showed off his muscular legs, and a part of his deadly thighs.

'You think you're pregnant already?' he suddenly asked.

'Sihtric,' you snorted, 'stop being so obsessed with getting me pregnant.'

'Well, how many more times do we need to try?'

'Babe, I don't know,' you sighed softly, 'but… I guess if it doesn't happen soon we should go to a doctor,' you said softly.

'What do you mean?'

'Maybe, you know,' you said hesitantly, 'maybe I can't get pregnant the usual way… I mean, it's not like we're not trying, but,' you sighed again, 'no luck so far.'

You looked down at your feet while Sihtric studied your frown.

'Hey,' he whispered, then kissed your cheek, 'we'll keep trying, okay? It will be fine. And if you want to go see a doctor in a few weeks or months, then we will. We'll find a way.'

'But… what if I… what if I can't get pregnant?' you whispered.

'We will find a way, bunny,' Sihtric kissed your lips softly as he held your chin, 'I promise we'll find a way. Don't worry about that, my love. No need to stress about any of that.'

Sihtric held you as you sat in silence for a while, gazing at the view.

'You know,' he said after a while, 'I always thought Australia had more… mountains. You know, that scenery from those movies you like so much. Lord of the… Kings?'

'Do you mean Lord of the Rings?' you frowned, offended.

'Yeah, yeah,' Sihtric smiled, proud he almost got the title right despite him falling asleep before Frodo even showed up.

'Honey, that's New Zealand. Not Australia.'

'Oh.'

The next day kind of went the same as the day before. It was too hot, Sihtric was constantly complaining about literally everything, and when you had enough and wanted to go for a walk, Sihtric got you in the bathroom again. After another hour of sex in the shower, you went for dinner again and back to the same beach as yesterday, as it was a quiet and beautiful place. At least, it was until your loving husband opened his mouth again.

'The food here could've been a little better,' Sihtric complained, remembering dinner.

'You seemed to like that steak just fine.'

'It was okay,' he shrugged and looked around, 'why don't they have lounge chairs here?'

'Sihtric, please-'

'Or a bar or something. I'm hungry,' he mumbled, 'if that restaurant wasn't so slow with their service I would've ordered a dessert.'

'Siht,' you sighed.

'Of course,' your husband hissed as he slapped a bug which had landed on his leg, 'fucking bugs here. The fuck is with this place?'

'I can't believe I'm saying this,' you finally snapped, 'but will you please, please pick up boxing again. I am begging you.'

'What?' Sihtric looked surprised and confused.

'You're driving me nuts, babe,' you groaned, 'please.'

'What are you talking about?' Sihtric frowned.

'Honey, you're constantly whining. You get annoyed at every little thing possible, you have absolutely zero patience and you're constantly horny,' you said, 'you really need to find something to keep yourself busy. Nitpicking is not a hobby.'

'I don't nitpick-'

'Sihtric.'

'I don't!'

'It's too hot,' you mocked him, 'the food is too bland. I don't like this beach. Where are the mountains? There are too many bugs. The bed is too soft, the pillow is too hard, and the shower is too small. I'm hungry, I had too much to eat. I'm tired. Baby, I can't sleep. Sweetie, will you rub my back? Please don't rub my back, honeybun, I got a sunburn. I also have a headache. Bunny, I'm horny, but it's too hot to have sex. Bunny, I'm so hard right now, but-'

'Okay, okay,' Sihtric snarled, 'fine. I see what you mean,' he sighed, 'but I just don't understand what me being horny has to do with all this.'

'Because you have all this build up anger and tension inside, you're getting rough, Sihtric.'

'I… I thought you liked that,' he said, suddenly clearly upset.

'I do, but not to the point where I can barely walk afterwards,' you chuckled lightly, 'like today.'

Sihtric looked down at his feet, and you could tell he was fighting to keep his bottom lip from trembling as he clenched his jaw.

'I'm sorry,' he barely whispered, avoiding eye contact.

'You don't have to say sorry, even though I appreciate it,' you said, 'sure, a little rough is fine, as we used to do. But you need to understand that I am so small in your arms, which I love, don't get me wrong,' you smiled softly, 'but earlier today it really seemed like you forgot how strong you are.'

'I'm sorry,' Sihtric whispered again, and tried to get up on his feet, but you stopped him.

'No, honey,' you said and held his hand, 'don't try to leave now. We have to talk about this right now. I'm not mad, I'm not rejecting you, you didn't hurt me, not the way you think at least. We're good, I promise.'

Sihtric looked a little insecure but sat back next to you again, keeping his head down. Like a puppy who got told off, while it was nothing like that.

'Like I said, sweetheart,' you cupped his cheeks, 'you have to find something you can put your energy in. Something that will take your mind off the little things that get you so worked up. I mean, we never really discussed it much, but do you even have a plan? For the future I mean?'

Sihtric shrugged lightly, trying to regain his confidence again.

'I just want a family with you,' he said softly, still looking down.

'And I want a family with you,' you squeezed his hands, 'but even if I were to get pregnant soon, it will still take a while before I'd give birth,' you chuckled, 'I mean what future plan do you have for yourself?'

'I don't know,' Sihtric said, and finally looked into your eyes again, 'I also notice I'm not myself lately. And I miss the fights, of course I do. But I know you don't want me to fight again, so I didn't mention it.'

'Yes, but you can still keep up with boxing or kickboxing, whatever, without participating in professional fights. Have you thought about that?'

'But that's not fun for me, you know that. It's too easy,' he said, 'but… I guess I've been thinking of either opening a new gym or moving locations to a bigger building.'

You smiled at Sihtric, relieved that he actually had been thinking about picking up some kind of work again, instead of constantly coming to you for his entertainment or complaining.

'That's really good,' you said, 'you want to expand then?'

'I guess,' he said, 'maybe get into coaching or just be a sparring partner. In between my own workouts of course. And,' he smiled shyly, 'I was also thinking that… maybe you could work at the gym too. Since I retired I don't need much physio anymore. And I know you won't say it, but I can tell you really want to get back to work too.'

'I do,' you agreed, 'I'm not made to go on holiday all the time and do nothing.'

'I know, baby,' Sihtric chuckled and traced his fingertips over your hand.

'But… you mean you'd become like my boss then?' you furrowed your brow, 'because I'm not sure if I like that idea. That usually goes wrong…'

'Oh, no, no,' Sihtric said, 'no, bunny. I don't want some strange power play like that. I don't want to be your boss. At least, not at work,' his cheeky grin appeared again, 'I just thought maybe you could rent a space in the building I'd buy. You'd be your own boss, you'd just pay me a fair rent and that's it. You'll still have me as your client too whenever I need it.'

You looked at Sihtric, thoughtful. You liked his idea. You never thought about an option like this, but it would be perfect for both of you. He could still go around and punch bags, and sometimes people, while you could go back to helping other people with physio exercises.

'A fair rent, huh?' you gave him a suspicious look.

'Yeah,' Sihtric said, 'we'd have to look into a property and determine a decent price. And if you're a little short on rent sometimes, you know, I'm sure we could fix that,' he winked.

'You mean like a blowjob could fix that?' 

You rolled your eyes when Sihtric feigned innocence, and then you both laughed. You wrapped your arms around Sihtric and pulled him in for a kiss.

'See,' you smiled, 'all good. Sometimes we just have to have conversations that aren't always pleasant. But that's life too.'

'I know,' Sihtric said, stealing another kiss, 'I just didn't know I've been such a bother to you lately. I never wanted that.'

'I know, sweetheart,' you kissed his cheek, 'I know everything's been rough for you too. And I hoped this trip would give you some peace of mind, to find yourself back again. But it only seemed to get worse. I couldn't bite my tongue anymore just now. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out.'

'I don't want you to bite your tongue around me, bunny, that's not right,' Sihtric cupped your cheeks, 'you know you can talk to me.'

'I know, but I didn't want to upset you either,' you sighed, 'but, okay, this is dealt with. I told you my issues, you told me your issues. Let's solve them together and move on now.'

'I like that idea,' Sihtric smiled and nuzzled your nose.

'Speaking about ideas,' you perked up, 'I know we're both not the biggest party people, but there's a beach party tomorrow evening at Bondi. I thought, why the hell should we not go? Have a few drinks, have some fun. People seem to not recognise you much here so far, or they just leave you alone. We should try it.'

'Hm, I don't know, bunny,' Sihtric said, a little unsure.

'Come on, honey,' you pouted, 'remember how much fun we had at that bar in Hawaii?'

Sihtric smiled at the fond memory, but his smile faded when he remembered what had happened afterwards, and you knew what went through his head.

'Don't think about what happened at the hotel,' you said and took his hands again, 'I just want to dance with you again, love. I miss seeing you smile like that. We'll have fun, I promise. And you can safely drink some alcohol again now that you're not taking any medication anymore.'

'Yeah, I guess that's true,' Sihtric said, 'but I'll probably be drunk in no time,' he grimaced.

Sihtric wasn't wrong. You had been at the beach party for only an hour and half, and Sihtric was completely wasted after two cocktails already. He was handsy, clingy and most of all; horny. He was slurring his words heavily, his mismatched eyes glossy and droopy, cheeks flushed red and he had a satisfied smile on his face. His hands kept grabbing your hips, pulling your ass against his crotch as he wanted to dance with you. You couldn't even call it dancing, Sihtric wasn't even aware of the music anymore, he was basically just dry humping you at this point. Luckily, there was a lot of that going on at that event, so no one even batted an eye at you and Sihtric. But you were too sober and felt a little ashamed, because you were in public.

'Siht,' you chuckled, blushing heavily at his cheeky behaviour while your back was pressed against his chest, 'calm down, love.'

'I am… calm,' Sihtric slurred, his hands moving under your thin skirt. He nuzzled your neck and giggled drunkenly in your ear. 

'Gods, I want to fuck my wife,' he breathed, and suddenly spun your around.

Sihtric cupped your cheek and brought his other hand to your waist, pulling you flush against his body again.

'You're so f-fucking b… beautiful,' he smiled with heavy eyes, 'I want to make babies,' he hummed, then stumbled a step back over his own feet as he lost his balance, pulling you with him.

'Sihtric!' you giggled, desperately keeping the beast of man up on his feet, 'you're too drunk, we should get back to the hotel.'

'No, no,' he shook his head, 'I'm fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine,' he laughed and took your face in his warm hands again, 'let's m-make babies on the,' he took a deep breath, 'the sand… that's near the- the water,' he frowned, 'or is the, the water near the ssssand?' he hiccuped and got distracted when someone walked by, offering shots.

'Honey, you had enough to…' you stopped talking when Sihtric downed the shot and quickly grabbed another, but not before he accidentally knocked over five full glasses.

'Oh,' he chuckled, 'oops. Why are these little things so little?' he asked, looking at the shot glass.

You apologised to the employee and they tried to explain it was okay, but Sihtric interrupted.

'Hey…hhhey,' Sihtric smiled at the stranger, 'I… this is my w-w-wife,' he said and gave the employee a mean look, but quickly giggled again, 'I'm going to get h-her pergnan… pren… pregan… I… I'm going to b-breed her,' he eventually nodded proudly.

'Oh my god,' you said with wide eyes, 'I'm so sorry,' you told the employee who smiled awkwardly at you, 'he's… he's clearly drunk. I'm taking him to the hotel now. Sorry for this mess.'

'Not a problem, miss,' the employee said and snorted, 'it's not every day you hear a retired boxing champion say he wants to breed his wife. Have a good night.'

'Thanks,' you said, embarrassed, and you pulled Sihtric with you over the beach, who was quick to grab another fruity cocktail with a little pink straw before he left the party.

'Heeeeey,' your husband slurred and he wrapped his arms around you, causing you to trip over his feet, and you fell onto the darkened side of the beach, 'where are you going? Oh- Oh… baby,' he murmured when he realised you had fallen down, and he crouched down next to you, spilling half of his drink over your dress.

'Honey where did you get that drink?' you scoffed, 'did you pay for that?'

 'No,' Sihtric confessed, 'mmmmmmaybe. N… no, I s-s-stole it,' he gasped, 'am I… am I going to jail again?'

'We,' you huffed, 'are going to sober you up at the hotel.'

You tried to get back up on your feet, but Sihtric was all over you, leaving sloppy open-mouthed kisses wherever he could while his hand squeezed your flesh with lust.

'Sihtric,' you chuckled, 'come on, not here,' you said and tried to escape his strong arms.

'Why not,' he hummed, 'w-wifey,' Sihtric smiled, then laid back on the sand, keeping you in his arms while he refused to let go of his drink. 'I want to… fffuck,' he sighed.

'Honey,' you clicked your tongue, 'I'm sure you do, but you can't even keep your eyes open. Come on now,' you managed to stand up while he held your hand.

'Hm, baby, it's not fair,' he whined, tugging your hand like a spoiled brat, 'I want youuuu…'

'When you sober up,' you said, 'let's go now, love.'

'No!' Sihtric pouted and crossed his arms.

'God, you're such a child,' you muttered, but had to admit you thought he was still adorable, 'okay, well, fine. You stay here, darling. I'll see you back at the hotel I guess,' you said and turned to walk away.

'No, no!' Sihtric yelled, hoarsely, 'baby… I…' he suddenly groaned, and you froze at the sound of his trembling voice, 'I- I don't feel… well,' he said.

You turned back to Sihtric and ran up to him.

'Honey?' you asked, worried, 'are you okay?'

'I feel… feel dizzy,' he struggled to speak and grabbed your arm.

Fuck,' you hissed, terrified he had a sudden episode that was the aftermath of his concussion somehow.

But then Sihtric suddenly pushed you away as he leaned in, closer to the ground, and he threw up; the aftermath of getting drunk so suddenly. You grimaced and took another step back, giving him his space to be sick without him vomiting over your feet. After about a minute, Sihtric wiped his mouth and sat back.

'I… I'm never drinking a-a-again,' he mumbled, and then gulped down the half spilled cocktail he had managed to keep safe during this entire adventure.

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[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Do you find it odd at all that the series has very few chronological markers? In 54, we find out the series took place over roughly three years. But in 54 books, it is never Christmas, Halloween, Fourth of July, Easter, etc. They make very few references even to summer vacation. The only Animorph to ever have a birthday (to my recollection, anyway) is Tobias in 23 with the whole thing about Aria and his dad's will.

So my ask here is really three parts.

1. Why do you think they avoided specific time-of-year references in a series that all the same assumes a natural passage of time between books?

2. If you could pick a specific time of year to be Animorph-mission relevant what would it be? Kids going trick-or-treating in costume? Using the cacophony and distraction of Independence Day fireworks to do [something]? A giant community egg hunt organized by the Sharing?

3. Totally random, but if you could pick dates (or at least Zodiac signs) for the human Animorphs, what would they be? Bonus for trying to translate Ax's Andalite date of birth in another star system to the conventions of our terrestrial calendar.

Answer 1: I assume the lack of specific time markers is primarily a way to give the series more flexibility. There are a ton of drawbacks and fewer benefits to tying books down to exact seasons. If K.A.A. et al. write a book set in late October with a whole motif around Halloween, then any little change to the publication timing — adding Ax to the narrator rotation, delaying the release of this month's book for a different promotion, Scholastic switching the release order for a Megamorphs — will make the book look weird and out of place, and might force it to be edited or even cancelled last-minute. This happens occasionally with Hollywood movies, like when Iron Man 3 had a whole motif about Christmas but got released in May, and it's never a great look.

Not only that, but not getting too specific about what weather occurs when outside of "we got hot" or "the air felt cold" also allows the setting to be more flexible. A bunch of us fandalites have talked about how much fun it was to imagine the Animorphs fighting the yeerks in the next town over, whatever the next town over happened to be for the kid reading. I used to imagine the books taking place on the Jersey Shore, and other people have mentioned Kansas City, Portland, central Florida... If there's specific information about "it's October, so the snow is coming soon" or "we're tanning on the beach in February" then that narrows the location too much too fast.

Answer 2: I love the idea of the Sharing going all-in on the ultra-capitalist Seasons we have in the U.S.: Halloween Season, Christmas Season, 4th of July Season. I don't know if the Animorphs would be hypersensitive to fireworks or not — they're a trigger for most veterans specifically because they're explosions and sound like gunshots — but I also don't think that the Animorphs would particularly like Memorial Day or Independence Day as a result.

Other than that, I've headcanoned that the thing with Jake and his parents being out of town in #37 is because it's Rosh Hashanah — if some of Jake's grandparents are very traditional, that could explain Jake feeling he has to travel that weekend. While we're at it, I imagine #5 taking place near Day of the Dead, because Marco mentions Eva's presence being felt so intensely by both him and his dad throughout those few weeks.

Answer 3: I think Marco would totally be that guy who would troll about the Zodiac. Like, if anyone asks what his sign is, he'd say "Guess!" and whatever the person comes out with, say "How'd you know?" If caught out in the lie, he'd switch to saying he's an Andromeda, and then a Sextans, and then a Camelopardalis...

Rachel would of course get in on the fun, and announce her Zodiac is Ursa Major. And anyone who disagrees gets to meet her inner Ursus arctos horribilis.

[wrenreid]

Just Acting

i thought this gif was funny💀

Chapter Nineteen

You've been back home for a couple days now. It's been nice to be able to relax and be away from the LA noise. Sure, Philly's pretty big, but it's different from the angel city's chaos. And of course you love filming the show, but it feels good to have a break.

Basically all you've done since you got to PA is watch movies with your family, try to cook with your mom, text with Jess, and sleep.

You miss your little routine of talking to Jess almost every morning while you get your coffee, but being home with the cold weather and your family and the fireplace in the living room is comforting. LA weather in the winter is strange; it's either chilly or still hot. It wouldn't feel much like Christmas if you were still there.

Your phone rings as you get ready to go shopping with your sister. "Hello-"

"Just friends huh?" A deep voice says in your ear.

"What?"

"Just friends. That's what you think we are?" Matthew asks and you can practically see his obnoxiously attractive head tilt.

"You watched the interview,” you say, pointing out the obvious.

"Yeah."

"What was I supposed to say, Matthew? That we're friends with benefits or some shit? Look, it was cool while it lasted, but I can't do this anymore. I'd rather have a real relationship with someone who actually cares for me than whatever the hell we're doing here."

"Y/n-"

"Be mad at me all you want, but we're not twenty. This was doomed from the start anyway." You hang up, setting your phone on the bed not so gently. You sigh audibly, dropping your body to the bed too.

"Y/n, hurry up!" Lola says from the bathroom in between both of your bedrooms.

You get up reluctantly and finish putting on your sweater. You're wearing an off-white sweater that's perfect for the cold weather, black jeans, and cute boots. You leave your hair down and natural and put on a smallish amount of makeup.

After you're done getting ready, you meet Lola downstairs and grab your mom's car keys. "I'm driving, I don't trust you downtown."

"Rude. I've been driving for 2 years."

"Yeah um compared to my 18, I think I'm good driving.”

The two of you go to the mall downtown to get Christmas gifts. You both get gifts for your parents and other people. You decide to get everyone on the cast small presents and you plan to make cookies for the crew members when you get back to Los Angeles. Lola and you split up to shop for each other.

You're not entirely sure what you get your sister since you haven't been around much lately to know what she's into.

You go to a few places before finally finding something she may like. You got her a new pair of airpods and a digital picture frame for her college dorm. When you get home, you plan to put pictures of you and Lola, her and her friends, and your family in there. It'll be good for her to not have to bring frames to college. Hopefully Lola will appreciate it.

You don't plan on telling her about what just happened on the phone with Matthew. You're not even completely sure what happened. Why was he upset that you said you guys were just friends? Sure you slept together a few times, but you weren't like a couple. Not at all. He's a childish, mood-changing actor who just wanted you for sex. Maybe that's all that you wanted him for too. It's over now, so it doesn’t matter.

Whatever type of stupid childish thing the two of you had going is gone. You're not getting any younger, and maybe you aren't ready to settle down, but you sure as hell aren't going to continue a friends with benefits relationship, and with your coworker at that. It was a childish decision that neither of you should've made.

Why does it feel like I lost a friend?

Could you really consider him a friend? You guys fought and butted heads all the time. But recently, you’ve had a strange understanding with him.

You shake the thoughts of Matthew out of your head and get back into the car with your sister and the things you bought.

At home, you both hide the presents in your rooms and head downstairs to watch another Christmas movie with your parents. Your mom is forcing you guys to watch a Hallmark movie. You've never liked the corny unrealisticness of every single Hallmark movie. Especially the Christmas ones.

You sit through it though for your mom's sake. Lola pops some popcorn and you share a bowl while curled up on the couch with a blanket.

A part of you wishes you could stay home forever. See your sister every day and be with your parents. But Lola's going off to college this fall and your dad won't stay quiet about his opinions for long. And you're working on the biggest and best project you've ever done and may ever do in your life.

When the movie's over, you head up to your room and lay in bed. You stay awake for a bit, staring at the ceiling of your childhood bedroom.

You wake up to the sound of distant talking coming from downstairs. You get up and head down to the kitchen. The smell of syrup and bacon hits your nose, causing your stomach to growl a bit. You see your dad putting cooked bacon on plates that are already full with pancakes and eggs. Your mom is at the other counter, pouring a mug of coffee.

"Merry Christmas... Eve."

You smile at your mother, and Dad hands you two plates of food to set at yours and Lola's spots at the dining table. Lola comes down soon after and pours herself a cup of coffee, still half asleep.

It was always a tradition for you guys to eat breakfast together on Christmas and Christmas Eve. Normally, you and Dad would cook it and your mom would decorate cookies with Lola to hand to neighbors and friends. But traditions change as time passes.

You sit down with your iced coffee and take a bite of your breakfast. You've always been more of a waffle person, but pancakes are good too. Your family doesn't talk much at breakfast since you literally just saw each other before you went to sleep.

It's Christmas Eve which means the agenda for today consists of hanging the last two ornaments on the tree (you and Lola get new ornaments every year from your parents) and preparing for tomorrow. You'll also be watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas (a tradition you started at the ripe age of 12) and going downtown to see the decorations.

After eating, your mom hands you and Lola little bags. "Okay go ahead and open them."

Your ornament is a miniature clapperboard. You smile. “Awh I love it! Thank you."

Lola's is the mascot of the university she is going to next year. Both of you hang them up, and then you all lounge around the house for a while.

Lola and your dad go grocery shopping so Mom can cook Christmas Dinner tomorrow. You always have a honey roasted ham, potatoes, vegetables, and some type of dessert.

"Merry Christmas guys!!" AJ texts on the cast group chat. A chain of Merry Christmases come from everyone.

When Lola gets back home, you and her hang out in her bedroom. She talked about this girl she met a few weeks ago and how she has a crush on her but is scared to make a move. Oh teenage problems. You sort of missed those.

"You've always been so bold, it's weird to see you unsure of yourself," you say.

"It's just that... well my gaydar definitely goes off with her, but what if I'm wrong?"

"Just talk to her. The worst that can happen is you lose a friend, and if that does, she wasn't worth it anyway,” you tell her honestly.

She nods. "You're right. When I see her next, I'll tell her how I feel."

A part of you always knew your sister wasn't straight, but you wanted to let her come out on her own terms. She told you she was bi before she told anyone else, five months before she even told your parents. Both of you weren't sure how they would take it, but their reaction wasn't bad. They know she's the same kid she's always been, and she's their daughter so they need to support her. It took a bit for them to accept it fully, but they came around.

You were happy that your baby sister got to be herself around your family, at least the three of you.

"So how's your love life? Still dry as hell?"

"Damn that hurt. Well other than what I told you, pretty much... accept that one guy I dated for like a month if that. He was just so... I don't know."

"Boring?"

"Yeah pretty much,” you nod.

“What about Matthew?”

You swallow. “I’m not getting into details of sex, because ew, and that’s all it was.”

As soon as the sun started to set, you all got ready to go downtown. You throw on a pair of black leggings, boots, and an oversized hoodie to beat the cold.

The decorations downtown were always super extra and pretty. Christmas lights were displayed in different designs and on different buildings throughout the area. You guys also always loved to see the rich peoples' decorations in their front yards. It's crazy what people spend their money on, but it makes for a good sight.

"Y/n?" You turn around to see your old friend from high school.

"Conner! Hey!" You give him a small hug.

"Wow, it's been years. How are you?"

"Doing pretty good. How about yourself, what have you been up to?” You ask.

"Me too. I just moved back here last summer to run Dad's business,” he says.

"Oh really? That's cool."

"Yeah. I heard you're a big LA star now, huh?" He bumped your shoulder.

You chuckle, blushing. “Something like that. Man, it’s been so long.”

"Yeah it has,” he nods. “Hey, do you want to catch up later, if you get the chance before you leave?"

"Yeah I'd like that," you smile. He gives you his new number and says goodbye. You catch up with your family again.

"Ooh new love interest alert," Lola said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Oh shut up, we're just old friends catching up."

"Sure, sure."

At around 8:40pm, you and your family head home to get into your pajamas and watch the annual movie. You eat dinner on the couch while Dad pulls up How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Jim Carey’s version of course, on Netflix. This movie was one of your favorites as a kid and you still love it to this day.

You curl up with your sister on the couch, occasionally fighting over who gets more of the blanket.

chapter twenty

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @danis-stuff-is-here @kylakins88 @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @inlovewithcharmers @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @matthew-gray-gubler-lover <3

[bekolxeram]

Oh look, our national holiday is approaching!

I whine about my hometown all the time, but I can't deny that this city has world class infrastructure. We're also blessed by geography, every major tropical cyclone generated in the Pacific Ocean has to pass through the narrow strait between Luzon and Taiwan in order to reach us. As a result, tropical storms are rarely disastrous for us.

Some may see it as an inconvenience, you know, stores close up, office workers go home to "take shelter", it stands in the way of profit. Yet for most, a typhoon approaching is something worth celebrating. I was not at all popular at school, I was always that weird awkward kid, but every time a tropical cyclone neared, my classmates started bombarding me with questions about it. At the end of the day, their most pressing concern was whether we had to go to school the next day. People even place bets on that.

Every time a typhoon hits, the whole city starts yelling "number 8" like watching a horse race. (Warning signal number 8 or higher means no work/school.) I've already seen a bunch of folks complaining about the weather services issuing warning number 8 too late, so that they missed out on an extra day off, as usual.

The most interesting aspect of our typhoon culture is the food. Some prefers to go the nostalgic route, back when the fresh produce supply chain would be disrupted for up to a week after a major storm, people relied on canned food and instant noodles. Even now, we might break out the can of spam and some ramen for old time's sake, not just out of necessity.

If you prefer stocking up on fresh food in advance, you'd better hurry. Veggies are a popular choice, but according to my own observation, the first thing to run out is usually not rice, water or toilet paper, oh, it's the lobster, or abalone. People are so busy and overworked here that they barely have time to sit down and enjoy a full meal, so a typhoon hitting is the perfect occasion to sit around a nice hot pot and have a good time with your family.

If you don't have any food at home, well, you don't have to worry either, because most of the McDonald's are still opened.

It may sound cruel and heartless to you, a super typhoon like this one can destroy surrounding rural areas, but I guess it's just the sickness brought on by urban life. We're too tired to care about anyone else, we just want a break. Whenever the wind starts swirling in the sky, we celebrate, it's just a strange part of our culture.

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

Today's The Day Ok, A Day. Today is "A" Day.

Dear Future Husband,

I haven't discussed this at all, but my cousin is getting married today. He's Reform. And she's... well, she thinks she's Jewish....

They met on a Jewish dating app (which I was shocked to hear because I didn't think religion really meant anything to him at all ever) before she converted. So... as a non-Jew... she was on a Jewish dating app. I didn't realize that was an option.

She grew up kind of in the middle of nowhere with no Jews around and yet something inside of her said she needed to be Jewish, so she set off on her own path to Judaism and although she was like a year away from actually converting, she was seeking a Jewish guy to marry.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Well, sof sof, they dated, they fell in love, she converted reform (which seems relatively meaningless to me, but ok), they got legally married a while ago and moved in together, but the party and "religious" wedding is today.

Unfortunately, he's technically a cohen, so even if she did convert properly, he still wouldn't be allowed to marry her. But I don't think any of that matters to either of them, so... yeah.

It's fun when you try so hard to do things right and follow the Torah and life keeps smacking you down, all the while, those who couldn't care less are out there living happy lives.

Half my family (I'm talking about the religious ones here) are pissed and up in arms about us supporting an intermarriage, the other half is just kind of like 'you can't live anyone's lives for them, nothing we say will make a difference, we're going for shalom bayis with the family, just leave it at that.'

I'm somewhere in between.

But it's my mom's family and she hates dealing with her family because she's always been the odd man out amongst them all and she feels like they're constantly critical of her life. None of that is untrue, but when she's stressed out, everything goes to hell.

As if I didn't already have enough problems with her, she's been amping herself up about this wedding and it's driving me to drink. Well, if I could drink.

Someone texted her last week "pictures are at 4" or whatever and although we all had a discussion that we wouldn't be there until later because BigSis has to work, MotherLivelyHeart refused to respond with that information. So all of Shabbos she was stressing herself and us out with "they're always so mad when I'm late and now we're going to be late" and I was like "if you had told them a week ago when they messaged about it, you wouldn't have to stress about tomorrow because they'd already know it was a pre-set thing and not that we're just running late or trying to avoid pictures."

But of course she couldn't hear it. Because she's her. And it's just exhausting.

I still have no idea what I'm wearing, so I should probably figure that out...

What does one wear to a religious ceremony of an irreligious family? Most of my wardrobe looks like it walked out of the 2004 winter collection for Haute Topic, if that were a thing. I have a few florals, but most of them are white and apparently that's a huge no-no for most weddings, even though the florals are quite prominent and the white is just a background, but whatever.

I also dread being in pictures, so this is going to be fun.

I have these first two and then a lace dress similar to the third that's kind of a brighter teal shade:

So, those are options. But it's supposed to be like 100 degrees and all three need skirts underneath as well as shells, so that's a lot of layers for hot weather. I also have to make sure the shell that matches the dresses is clean...

I probably should have done this a week+ ago, but I kept hoping I'd get sick or something and just wouldn't have to go.

I also have to deal with my hair (which I absolutely hate) and my makeup, which I'm just not in the mood for. And then the wedding location is like two hours away, so it's like half a day of driving and prep for a wedding that probably won't even have any kosher food for us and I doubt we'll be there for more than just the ceremony.

Isn't family just so fun!?

On a brighter note, the a/c was finally replaced on Friday. I meant to do an update last week but got sidetracked and that draft is now moot. But anywho, they came on Monday and the replacement part for the replacement part didn't work either because apparently the unit had some kind of short in it and it was causing all the compressors to fail. So they told us on Thursday that they'd be here Friday with a whole new unit. And chasdei Hashem, so far it's working!

On the downside, this of course means that MotherLivelyHeart and BigSis have it set really low and the entire apartment is now an icebox, because I have no say in how much it's run despite me being the one who pays the electric bill. Because even when things go right they suck.

Anywho, I'm off to raid my own closet and see what's actually summer appropriate and wearable to this sham of a religious wedding that I have no choice but to attend for shalom bayis. Fun.

-LivelyHeart

-----------

Update:

I can't find my layering skirt for the first two dresses. The only ones I can find are black or bright white. Yikes. And I found another floral dress that's all pretty and roses but I don't have a shell the right color to go with it, which is probably why I have yet to wear it anywhere....

Undone by my own lack of proper planning. Is anyone really that surprised? It's also 8am and I haven't gone to sleep yet, so.... yeah, today's gonna' suck.

Update 2, after the wedding:

I ended up going with the first dress. It was technically long enough to wear without a layering skirt but I still wore a black pencil skirt underneath, just in case my knees were visible when I sat. Although the only sitting was during the ceremony and the chairs were so close together my knees wouldn't have been visible to anyone anyway. But, better safe than sorry! I sat in the little bit of shade that existed in the seating, so I hit homeostasis pretty quickly and despite wearing so many layers, I didn't sweat all that much in the almost 100° F weather, chasdei Hashem.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things

Seeing as I've been at this for ten years and I haven't done one for a little while...

I am so enjoying pinging back and forth with the lovely @mihrsuri on in-universe historical nerdery in her Tudors OT3-'verse! This sort of meta self-referentiality brings me so much joy and I'm so enjoying playing! <3333333

I have the week after next off work for my birthday and oh I cannot wait. Work hasn't been nearly as draining since I got myself onto HRT, but I'm still tired and in need of a break.

What else OH YEAH WE HAVE A NEW CAR :D :D :D the little Vauxhall failed his MOT for the first time in 12 years in early January and we'd already had to have quite a bit of work done on him, and then the missus' friend was selling an Audi TT for a very sensible price and I've always fancied a TT, and after a certain amount of identity-crisising because I have always been very economical and couldn't quite get my head round the idea of being allowed to do something frivolous, well...I now own an Audi TT. XD It's the nicest car, although it's five years older than the Vauxhall it's in fantastic condition and so much nicer and omg I love it. And the little fella has gone to my friend who had been without a car for 18 months and borrowing and hiring because second-hand prices in London where she lives had gone through the roof because of the ULEZ scrappage scheme, so...win win win all round. :D

The @bi-widower-dads February fic recs are out (here and here) and some kind soul recommended love remains - thank you SO MUCH! <3333333 I've been feeling a bit discouraged lately but between that and some lovely comments on my fics and a lovely message from @seagull-energy and collaborating with @mihrsuri I am feeling rather better :)

There are hundreds of pink blossoms on one of my peach trees (the other one only has buds on it but this one is in full bloom - bit weird, they usually flower at the same time, but the slow one is more shaded than the other so who knows) and it is absolutely gladdening to see.

I have discovered that John Lewis stocks Lumene so I have been ordering myself some lovely Finnish skincare - Lumene stopped shipping to the UK for a while (thank you so much Brexiters ugh) but they seem to have started up again now; but JL has been having some good offers lately so I've been taking full and shameless advantage. Also now apparently I am middle-aged and middle-class enough to have a John Lewis account XDDDDDD

We are in the throes of having a new boiler fitted (the guys are here right this minute), after ours finally gave up the ghost at the end of January. We've been getting by on the immersion heater for hot water and electric heaters for warmth and mostly the weather has been fairly mild so it hasn't been too bad, but omg I am so looking forward to having a working (and more economical) boiler you guys. Also our plumber is hopefully going to sort the bathrooms out for us later in the year and omg I've wanted that for YEARS (it sounds grander than it is, we have a tiny house, just we have a bathroom, an en-suite with a shower in it, and a downstairs loo), they're such shoddy quality thank you developers who built our house and so hard to clean because they're all hard-to-reach corners and dust-gathering ledges and ridges, definitely designed by someone who'd never done a day's cleaning in his life...so we're going to redesign them and hopefully get a bit more space and stuff that's easy to clean and clean around, I cannot WAIT.

I've been doing 'five good things' for just over ten years, I can't quite believe it. It hasn't caught on yet, but there's still time!

[ittybluebell]

Itty Bitty Brains - iZombie g/t fanfic (ao3) | Chapter 2

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The beans that worked here were fucking weird.

It'd been a day since Atom had moved in. He'd gotten good borrowings in the night - food, building supplies, etc - and alternated between working and sleeping during the day. He was constructing a lean-to out of cardboard and a Tupperware lid when the sounds of conversation had him pausing to listen in.

"... brain's made... into some kind of astrology nut... There's just... constantly in my head... understand the world better, but at the same time, it's the greatest mystery that I can't wait to solve."

"Right, well," said another voice, one Atom hadn't heard before, "why don't you focus on solving our mystery? You know, the murdered woman whose brain you turned into a hot pocket."

"It's called a calzone, Clive. And yeah, I got it - no pondering the meaning of life as we know it and how everything is somehow connected but not at the same time and- yes, I'm completely focused. I promise."

"Good," said 'Clive.' "Because we're going to interview the widow again. She gave us what she could, but her wife was just murdered - she was barely coherent. I'm hoping that today we can get some information about the break-in. Come on - let's go."

And they were gone, leaving Atom utterly flabbergasted with his jaw hanging and his eyes bulging. She ate... no. No way. Mm-mm. Atom was not living with cannibals. That human bean did not eat-

Oh, he was going to be sick. Just thinking about- nope. Nuh-uh. He was gonna puke. No more thinking about it. Just ignore it and move on. They were not talking about eating brains because that was- that was disgusting. Nobody did that. Nobody ate people and just casually brought it up like the weather. Atom remembered the sound of food being prepared and thrown in the toaster oven. He remembered the tantalizing smell when it came out, how it made his mouth water and his stomach growl something fierce. If that was brains-

Oh, good lord.

Atom made it a few paces away from his campsite before he emptied his guts onto the floor. He heaved and coughed, shuddering as saliva and the taste of bile filled his mouth. He spat and wiped his mouth, hoping that was the end of it, when his mind flashed back to the scent of bread and cheese and fle-

"HRGH."

Oh, yeah. That was gonna fuck him up for a few days.

Night came. Atom found himself several unopened packages of needles in a drawer that was cracked open enough for him to slip inside. He broke one out of its packaging and hefted its weight. It was perfect. The bright green end fit into his palm like it belonged there. He slid the metal into a loop on his pants and the needle sat on his hip like a knight's sword. There was a hop to his stride for the rest of the night, his pride and excitement leading him to nearly skip across the linoleum. He collected other bits and baubles, but nothing compared to the needle. The weight on his hip solidified his place there, giving him some sense of belonging. The dry pasta and staples came close, but they didn't have the same oomph. He had a sword; a symbol of his independence and self-sufficiency. How could he know fear when he wielded such a weapon?

The lights flicked on.

Evidently, Atom still knew fear.

He threw himself under the desk. The pasta shell he'd been carrying clattered to the floor. He swore under his breath, trying to catch a glimpse of the intruding human bean. Pasta didn't belong in an office. If he could just scooch a liiiittle closer...

Footsteps. A sigh from a man. The examiner? 'Clive'? Someone else? Who came into a morgue this late? Wasn't there bad juju around morgues? Fear of bodies coming to life? Ghosts? Just leave! Only the dead and things that go bump in the night belong in a morgue at this hour.

Massive legs swept into Atom's vision. Oh, of course the bean was coming into the office. Of course. Why not? Go make yourself a cup of tea, while you're at it! The human stomped closer. Atom shrunk in on himself, swallowing harshly. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. The shoes stopped dead in front of him. Atom felt like breaking into tears.

Two giant fingers pinched the pasta shell and picked it up. There was another sigh from above. Atom held his breath. Something cold and paralyzing settled in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't move, could barely breathe.

"Liv," the bean said, annoyed. He rounded the desk and settled in the chair. The single piece of conchiglie made several bouncing clacks as it landed on the wood above. Atom slowly and shakily exhaled into his hand. He turned around, coming face-to-face with a pair of shoes crossed at the ankle and a chair wheel.

"Holy shit," Atom said, closer to a gust of air than words.

The bean muttered to himself as he typed on his keyboard and flipped through pages. The sounds of pen scratching paper and clothes rustling were too loud in Atom's ears, challenged only by the thud of his own heartbeat. Atom had to remind himself that no, the human bean could not possibly hear it.

Atom began to rise, only to freeze when the bean shifted. The shoes swapped places, crossing again at the ankle. Atom pushed himself the rest of the way up. He eyed the doorway. Should he risk it or stay here? The bean was doing paperwork. But he might notice something small moving in his peripherals. Beans were hunters, after all. Atom had a greater chance of going unseen if he stayed put, out of the way. Right under the giant man's nose.

"Cause of death," he heard the human bean mutter, "stab... wound... to left lung."

That gave Atom pause. Of course he was going over Jenny's medical report. There were no other recent bodies.

"Wife found her in the morning," the man said. "Window was jimmied open, money and phone were missing. Robbery gone murderous. Knife was a weapon of opportunity. Unfortunately, there were no cameras to capture the break-in. Which means it's going to be almost impossible to track the killer down without Liv's visions."

Visions? Did she have superpowers? From eat- nope, not going there.

But they were looking for the killer? Atom frowned. He remembered that evening very clearly. He could recall every detail as if watching it play out again. He'd peeked out from behind the painting, and then it happened. And he was horrified. He couldn't remain in that house, not after what he'd seen. He was near suffocating in its atmosphere. Leaving was the best option, which he still stood by. Kind of. Okay, so maybe not - the cannibalism and 'visions' bullshit was really making him regret that decision.

"But if the robber was wearing a mask, which they were unless they're an idiot..." The bean groaned and scrubbed his face. "We're back to square one."

Goddammit. Something inside of Atom ached. Something righteous that screamed 'You know! You can help!' and urged him to tell someone. He knew what happened. He saw the whole thing. But what could he do? He was a borrower. He couldn't reveal himself - purge the very idea! Could he leave a clue? But then they would wonder who and go looking for him. He couldn't help. He wouldn't risk his people, his family, his life for one measly bean and some 'righteous feeling.' He was frustrated, not suicidal.

"Get over yourself," Atom growled, combing through his hair and catching knots. He pulled at them, untangling untameable curls. He'd done it since he was a child and was unable to cull the habit. His mother discouraged it, so he learned not to do it in front of her. It was calming, in a way. It helped in the same way that playing with his sleeves or a tool cleared his head.

Atom sat. He would wait for the bean to finish up. There was no reason to put himself at unnecessary risk. He leaned against the metal leg and closed his eyes, listening to the mumbled ramblings of the human. He mostly spoke of the mystery around Jenny's death, but he did mention cures (for what?) and rats.

That gave Atom a start. There were rats here? Of course there were. Because there wasn't enough for Atom to worry about already - the universe just had to add rats.

Rats were borrowers' number one enemy. Rats killed indiscriminately, destroyed homes - families - and encouraged humans to hire exterminators. Then came the traps and poison and cages that forced borrowers to flee their homes or risk death, or worse, discovery. Atom had to move. Again. Any day now, the pest control van would roll in and they'd start spewing fumes and setting up their bone-breaking traps.

"Oh, shit, I forgot to feed you guys tonight," the bean said.

Atom watched the skyscraper of a man go off to the back room. And then he heard eager squeaking. Realization dawned on him. They're pet rats. Lab rats. Relief flooded his body. Well, that changed everything. He didn't have to move.

Atom's head shot up. I need to move. Now! While the bean was occupied. Atom scrambled to his feet and wasted no time sprinting out of the office. He craned his neck to see into the back room. The medical examiner wasn't visible, but the popping of a plastic lid was plenty enough to place him there.

Atom made it back to the safety of the walls without further issue. He melted into his sleeping bag, deflating with a massive sigh and an adrenaline-fueled laugh. That's enough excitement for tonight, he thought.

In the morning, Atom stood atop the very desk that saved his hide last night. Every instinct in his being told him this was a horrible idea and what was he thinking? But he couldn't take it. His own guilt, knowing he could help out but just stood by and did nothing, was overpowering. There was a thrill in being out in the open during the day. His nerves were shot and his hands trembled so badly that he missed his hook throw the first two times, but he couldn't deny the exhilaration that he felt. The forbidden nature gave him a rush like no other.

Atom struggled to hold the pen upright. He wrapped his arms around it in a tight embrace and used his whole body to guide the ink, dragging the pen across the page as he walked. Finished, he rolled the pen back to its original spot. He gave a satisfied nod and proceeded to climb down to the floor, but not before grabbing a paperclip and sticky note. With a sharp yank of his shoulder, the hook came loose and fell into his waiting hand. The sharp point was a hair shy of slicing open his arm. It was a serious risk, injuring yourself with your own hook - you had to know which angles were safe to catch it and which ones were best to just let it hit the floor, even at the risk of making noise. Atom didn't like to risk it, but today felt different. He felt different.

Atom wound up the rope as he jogged back to the kitchen. It was a quick in-and-out errand - go, leave the message, come back. He was riding a high, but he didn't expect it to last long. And his luck wasn't something to be tested. Not like this. He got away with too much lately - his luck was bound to come crashing down around him. And he didn't want to be out in the open when it did.

"Liv! I got the... coffees. Right, then. I'll just leave yours here! For when you get back."

Fuck.

Atom's heart dropped to his stomach. The doctor was here. Atom knew he shouldn't be out in the daytime and he went and did it anyway! What the hell did he do now? He was gonna be seen and captured and dissected and-

Hide! I need to hide. Atom whipped around, searching. Shit shit shit shit. He was stuck in the middle of the floor. But the fridge was right there. Would he make it?

He had to try.

Atom made a break for it. His breath came in great, terrified puffs. His heart pounded louder than the bean's footsteps, beating so much faster than own footfalls. His jaw clenched. Hard. Hard enough to make his teeth ache. His neck prickled furiously, instincts yelling at him to find cover. There were eyes looking for him. A human was too close. He wasn't safe.

Just a bit closer. He was almost there!

"What-" started the doctor's voice.

Atom dropped like a hot stone. He slid across the linoleum, leaving a trail in the dust under the fridge. His chest heaved, sweat damp on his face and back. He laid on his back for a few more moments, basking in the cool air that felt so good on his burning hot skin.

The bean didn't see him. He was alright. Everything was alright.

The bean was in his office. He got the note, if the phone call in the other room was any indication. Atom got away with it. But that was too close. He'd only been here for two days and already had two close encounters with the one human bean. He had to be far more careful from now on; a third save was asking too much. He needed tunnels and a proper home. With all the staples and thumbtacks and pins he'd collected, he felt confident in his ability to make a ladder to the ceiling.

After his heart stopped beating out of his chest, though. A couple more minutes here. 'Here' was nice and cool. Yeah. A nap couldn't hurt, either.

Hours later, Atom had himself a functional stairway up to the ceiling. It was precarious and he'd feel more comfortable with an elevator, but he didn't have those kinds of materials yet. There was an upstairs to this place that he wanted to explore. It was a police station, right? Who knew what sorts of goodies they kept up there. Rulers and snacks and tape and pencils... oh, it would be glorious, he could already tell. His only greater wish was for a craft store next door.

The beans knew about his note. The medical examiner told his friends about the tip that was mysteriously left in his office by someone "With just awful penmanship. I mean, it's like a six-year-old broke into my office and scribbled on my work."

Yeah, screw you, too, buddy. You try writing with a pen bigger than your body.

Liv and Clive were following up on Atom's tip. It probably wouldn't lead to anything without proof, but at least he tried. It satisfied his desire to share his knowledge and that's all that mattered. Not solving the actual murder. Why would he care about what happened to beans? He'd only lived in Jenny and Sara's home for... seven years.

Shit. Maybe he did care.

No. Humans were tyrants with no regard for others. They would kill or torture or sell borrowers if they got their giant hands on one. He couldn't be sympathetic. He couldn't afford sympathy for beans. Just like he couldn't afford sympathy for a rat or raccoon. No, he didn't care about Jenny or Sara. What a ridiculous notion. Atom shook his head as he pulled himself onto the final thumbtack, curly hair flopping around him. He climbed over a wood beam and examined the dark, dusty space that laid above the ceiling. There were cobwebs everywhere - all of them vacant and perfect for sewing and building. Atom rubbed his hands together. Yes, this would do nicely. He just needed that elevator and construction could begin.

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[lifeofkaze]

Before the Spark

CHAPTER 1: CAPPUCINO BAR

Find the masterpost here, the previous chapter here, and the next one here.

General Warning: This story is part of the HPHM Rockstar AU. As such, there is a general warning of the possible occurrence of NSFW / mature topics. These can include sexual depictions or references, inappropriate language, (ab)use of alcohol, drug abuse, and smoking. Specific warnings for each particular chapter will be given in advance.

A/N: Samantha O'Connell was kindly lent to me by @samshogwarts. Warning: mild language, references to smoking and drug abuse (weed).

Well everyone was inside talkin'

In the cappuccino bar

Had to get outside rockin'

Playin’ on the old guitar

~Jonathan Richman - Cappuccino Bar ~

Steam rose into the air with a loud hissing noise, fogging the gleaming chrome of the expensive espresso machine. Orion moved his head out of the way, waiting until the cloud had dissipated, before removing the cup with the pitch-black espresso from underneath the tap. He poured it into the portable cup sitting next to the machine, added whipped cream and a shot of vanilla syrup with practised movements, and screwed the lid back on. He smiled as he handed the turquoise-coloured cup with white polka dots and cat whiskers back to its waiting owner.

"A decaf iced caramel frappuccino with an extra vanilla shot for Samantha. Here you go."

"Thank you," the girl on the other side of the counter smiled at him. Her green eyes were friendly as she glanced up from the book she had been reading whilst waiting for her coffee. "You have no idea how much I needed that. You're a lifesaver."

Orion inclined his head, reciprocating her smile. "There's nothing like a hot drink and a friendly smile to warm the soul. That's what we're here for."

"And thank God you are," the girl laughed as she picked up her coffee and put her headphones - adorned with cat ears as well - back on. "Have a nice day."

"You too," Orion smiled before turning to his next order. Wiping off the remnants of ground espresso beans on his apron, he let his eyes wander through the small café on the campus of Manchester Metropolitan University. The room with the wooden tables and wicker chairs was relatively empty, but it was a busy day nonetheless. The sun had been showing its face a lot lately; the students of MMU were flocking outside, socialising, studying for their upcoming exams, or simply enjoying the weather, and all of them in dire need of caffeine.

With a sigh, Orion thought about the philosophy books sitting in his bag in the changing room. His exam in Greek philosophy was in less than a week, but between his job at the café, working at the small yoga studio he occasionally gave classes at and his music, there just hadn't been much time to catch up on the ideas of Plutarch, Aristotle and the lot. The situation wasn't ideal, but it couldn't be helped. After all, even the great thinkers of old had needed to eat. 

As he waited for a double espresso shot to run through, he looked through the big glass front and to the terrace outside. It was set up with the same tables and chairs as inside, each decorated with small, colourful pots of plants, but where the interior of the café was empty, every single table on the terrace was occupied.

At one of the tables, a group of students was sitting, a book and a cup in front of each of them. Orion recognised them; they often came to the café to eat and study. He didn't remember them ordering anything, though, so they had probably arrived before his shift had started.

His eyes fell on one of the girls, who was just leaning back into her chair. She seemed to be arguing with her friend sitting next to her, a stocky girl with freckles and noticeable brown hair, the ends of which were dyed a bright blue. The other girl was shaking her head, her long, light brown ponytail swishing from side to side as she did so. One of their other friends must have said something funny because she began to laugh, the sound carrying into the café through the widely opened door. 

Orion had seen her before. She came here almost daily, always accompanied by a variety of friends. They would sit in the café or on the terrace or get their drinks and lounge on a blanket in the shade of the big trees. No matter who she was coming in with, though, the girl with the ponytail always seemed to be the centre of the group, somehow shining a little brighter than the rest of them. 

Unlike most other guests, she had chosen a seat in the direct sun. The light was shimmering on her hair, turning it to an almost dark blonde shade, and the tanned skin on her bare arms was accentuated nicely by the simple white top she was wearing. She rested her chin on her hand as she watched one of her friends say something with an amused expression on her face and took a large sip of her coffee. Orion couldn't help but think that she looked pretty. Really fucking pretty.

He continued watching the girl and her friends from time to time as he worked. He didn't know why, but there was something about her he found oddly intriguing. She was radiating a captivating energy Orion could feel even from across the other side of the tall windows. Whenever he looked over, she was moving, even if only slightly. She was never wholly still; either her fingers were tapping or her foot bouncing up and down, but it didn't look like she was nervous or agitated. If any, it seemed to be something unconscious, a natural part of her instead of an expression of her emotional state. 

There were some other things Orion knew about her as well. Aside from her being obviously very popular with her peers, every coffee he had ever seen her order had been obnoxiously sweet, with an amount of sugar and additives that would have made most people sick. There was one thing she was ordering more than anything else, however, and that was their café's summer special - homemade cherry-flavoured iced tea - the sight of which never failed to make her smile.

The thought of the girl with the ponytail lingered with Orion even after she and her friends had long gone as he continued working until, eventually, she was driven from his mind.

It was almost a week until Orion saw her next. The weather had taken a turn for the worse, and it had been raining for two days straight. What with the exams being on their doorstep, most people had resorted to continuing their studies indoors. 

Orion's shift at the café had been quiet so far, bordering on the edge of being boring. For the past hour or so, he had busied himself with taking stocks of their supplies when the soft chiming of the bells above the door told him that a new customer had arrived. Without looking up from his list of items, he nodded to one of the other people he was sharing his shift with.

"Can you go and take care of them? I'm not quite done here yet."

"Whatever," Merula Snyde said with a roll of her violet-coloured eyes, hopping down from the counter she had been sitting on. She wasn't supposed to do that, but - like she had done since their shared childhood at the orphanage - Merula couldn't have cared less about what or what not she was supposed to do. 

"Hi, what can I do for you?" Orion heard Merula's bored drawl a moment later. His wry smile turned into an astounded expression when he heard the voice of Merula's customer, prompting him to look up from his clipboard.

The girl with the ponytail was standing on the other side of the counter. She was wearing workout gear underneath a light jacket with the MMU crest over her heart. She must have come from the gym; her hair was too wet for it to come from the rain outside, and she had a big gym bag slung over her shoulder. She was tapping her finger against its strap, but this time she looked more tense than usual. But it was exams week; everyone was more tense than usual. 

"So," Merula said again, making the girl snap out of whatever thoughts she'd been having, "what do you want?"

"I'll have a cherry iced tea, please," she replied, giving Merula a small smile that wasn't returned.

"Cherry iced tea is off the menu."

The girl's eyes widened. "Oh, what a shame! Why's that?"

"Do I look like I know?" Merula shrugged. "We just don't have it anymore. Pick something else."

The girl studied the menu on the chalkboard above their heads with an undecided look. When she hadn't decided on an alternative after almost a minute, Merula made an impatient noise.

"Are you quite done now? I've got other things to do."

Orion winced at Merula's tone. She'd been trying to quit smoking for a week now and was even more prickly than usual because of it. Still, she shouldn't speak to their customers like that.

The girl decided on a hazelnut latte with a tight-lipped expression on her face. As Merula walked past Orion toward the coffee machine, he fished something out of the cardboard box he'd been going through. Having checked that the girl behind the checkout wouldn't be able to see it, he held it out to Merula.

"Take that."

Merula arched an eyebrow, casting a sceptical look between the bottle of cherry syrup and Orion's face. "What do you want me to do with that?"

"Make some cherry iced tea."

Merula's eyebrow rose even higher. "I thought you bought the last one for yourself. Wasn't that fucking expensive?"

Even with their employee discount, it had been. When they had to turn each penny to pay for tuition, rent, and other base necessities, even a few pounds spent on a bottle of syrup hurt. But Orion had grown curious about the cherry iced tea he had seen the girl with the ponytail order over and over again, so he had tried it for himself. He'd had to admit, the taste was actually quite addictive.

"It doesn't matter, you won't use the whole bottle anyway. Oh, and Merula," Orion added as Merula took the bottle from his hands, "don't charge her for it."

Merula made a dismissive sound Orion took as a sign that she had understood. "Do you want me to tell her it's from you?"

He shook his head. "Making our customers smile is reward enough for me."

"Whatever you and your strange Dutch friend have been brewing up lately, you need to stop smoking that shit," Merula muttered but turned to go and put some ice into a clear plastic cup anyway. 

When she handed the girl her iced tea, a look of surprise crossed her face and the tension vanished from her body. She said something to Merula, who shook her head. For just a moment, the girl with the ponytail looked over to where Orion was working, a questioning look in her blue eyes. Orion bent deeper over his lists, suddenly very intent on making sure the number of coffee packs he had been counting definitely was the correct one. When the girl had left, Merula returned to Orion, carrying several coins in her hand. 

"Want to know what she said to me when I told her the drink's on the house?"

"I'm confident you're about to enlighten me."

"She gave me this and said there's no price for making her day better," Merula snorted. "No wonder you're gawking at her like that. She's just as mental as you are. I hope you didn't expect me to share that with you," she added, ignoring the joined tip jar and stuffing the coins into the pocket of her jeans before returning back to her perch on the counter. 

Orion let her, watching as the girl with the ponytail left the cafe with her cherry iced tea. Her friend with the blue hair was waiting for her outside, saying something that made her laugh. As they turned to leave, the girl took the first sip of her iced tea, and there it was again - the happy, carefree smile that was making the day outside just a little less gloomy - and Orion found himself confirmed.

Sometimes, a smile really was reward enough. 

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y'know, van lifer family vloggers are a scourge on society already. but i've got a new one lately: boat life family vloggers. so over the last week on facebook watch/video, i've started to get a young aussie couple, say in their early 30s, trying to convince people that living on a catamaran, sailing around the world is the peak of living sustainably and "beating the housing crisis" and "living the life they want" etc etc etc, all the usual mantras of van lifer family vloggers.

i don't really know how old most of the videos in my feed are, but in a couple of the latest ones that i've watched, they have a toddler (say about 2 years old) and a 6 month old or something. I've been thinking, along side of a parody series of van lifer family videos that I watch on YT shorts, about how incredibly cramped this life is. just how much control these parents want over their kids. how lonely and isolating it will be for those kids once they're older, and need actual kids their age- not just their sibling (or siblings if these people want more kids that the two they've got)- to interact with outside of and away from their parents (and their brother rn- or sister/s if they have more kids). at one stage, right after they have their second kid, they're straight back on the boat like a week after the kid is born.

in one of the videos, they show you around a new boat that's about $1.5 million to buy. they show you all the rooms in it: the galley, the two bedrooms, the kitchen etc and the navigation deck. but in what i suppose is meant to be the master bedroom (it's a queen bed stuffed between 2 walls and a door, with two small overhead fans when it's hot)..... and there's a funny thing down the end of the bed for storage. the woman of the couple, who shows the viewers the room, goes "oh i could probs fit in here!!! *feet stick out as she tries to squeeze herself into a STORAGE UNIT* oh wait. no i can't fit in it. it really is storage. or y'know. you could fit a child in there, i suppose." like. kelsey or whatever your name is. why the fuck would you put a kid in there??? other than maybe you're nursing them and want them close. but still. it's A FUCKING STORAGE UNIT?????

but i digress. you're being "environmentally conscious". you're living off of solar power and "teaching our kids about the r E a L w O r L d!!!!! giving them a real education!!! letting them live a life that they'd NEVER have on the mainland of australia!!! look! we've sailed to the bahamas to meet another youtube travel couple!! look! our boat broke down in bali so now kelsey has a much needed break from the kids on the mainland of indonesia bc we've invited our family over to the conutry bc it's closer (and cheaper) than Hawaii, where we were a month ago!!!"

like. have you considered that maybe this isn't really healthy for your kids??? like you have the tiniest fucking shower "or if the weather's good, our shower is mother nature :).... using the crystal clear waters of barbados to wash ourselves!!!! isn't that just awesome and cool and unique!!!???" and "oh our boat batteries have died so now we HAVE to shack up at a marina to charge :(! this sucks, bc it's so much better to be right next to dolphins in the atlantic oceans for our little boys!!!! we hate being on any mainland really bc we're not being self-sufficient!!! but half the time we have to moor and go to the mainland of anywhere, to make sure we stock up on locally sourced, grass fed farmer's market stock and also long life food!!!"

anyway. you get my point. i don't think this channel is good for starters, considering that what if you have a massive fight, in which you need time to cool off AWAY from your partner??? even more esp when you have the two kids now??? you really have NO private space on this catamaran, even though they sell it as if they do. again, obvs they're not filming EVERYTHING so you don't know what goes on when the camera isn't on. but still. i think this lifestyle is all fun and games..... until you get kids in the picture.

i dont think it matters if your son atlas (the 2 year old) and your son ashwaganda (the baby) really see dolphins up close in the atlantic ocean vs an aqaurium or on a doplhin cruise back in australia. they do NOT need "real world living" at goddamned 2 YEARS OLD AND 6 MONTHS OLD!!!! they are CHILDREN. they need other kids to be around.... and in their immediate family back in australia...... not just with their parents..... and random kids that they might meet in whatever country you've sailed to.... for like a week. before you claim "it's been too long since we've had our sea legs and we're so restless to get back on the water to BE FREE and away from the hustle and bustle of *insert city here*.... even if it WAS a welcoming break for mummy and daddy. since daddy had the boys over in bali and mummy shoved you off on grandma while we had a retreat in bali."

it's just beyond me that they're selling themselves as an aspirational couple and how "to break free of the mainland of your country and trust your gut for family!!! be self-sufficient today and live the free-roaming, real world, carefree catamaran adventurer/vagabond life today with your kids in tow!!!!" NO!!! i can just imagine how much your kids will hate you if you continue to live this life when they're older than 2 years old and 6 months old.

[fantasticcloudcreation]

I'm high so I'm just gonna ramble for a second

I bought an 8th on the way to the last festival and I still haven't finished it, I'm amazed. Went through 2 packs of gummies in the time between so that counts but I'm just amazed this bud is still hanging in there! One more bowl I think and then I'll restock on gummies before I leave and then decide if I want bud when I get to Texas, but we're in a hotel and I won't have my usual work buddies with me so maybe gummies will be enough, otherwise there's like a million people at work who can point me towards the local sources haha

Went for a walk today, my knees were hurting which either means I haven't been walking enough lately (yes) or it was colder today so that sometimes has an impact, or bad shoes, or of course my brain was like "what if I have some secret illness that causes problems with connective tissue" or something but realistically I just haven't been moving enough since I've been here. It was nice out though, windy and cloudy and kinda chilly, felt like fall, I'm glad I got to have one day of fall weather while I'm here before I head south for the next couple months :) it's gonna be hot af in TX but I'm trying not to think about it

Stepmom + stepsisters made dinner and cake today, it was delicious but stepmom was cutting ginormous slices of cake, I was like "can I request a smaller piece" and she was like "no" and gave me a big slice lmfao so I was like ok im not gonna be weird about it, took me longer than everyone else to finish it but I did eventually eat it all

The one stepsister that I was talking about being super skinny and going to the gym and everything and I was feeling all insecure about myself because of it, I noticed that she doesn't have a thïgh gäp and felt better about myself (can you believe I'm really out here judging myself/her against each other like bitch shes 23 relax lol) but at the same time I'm glad my gäp is securely Back like it's been around but now it's like, i love sitting down with my knees together lmfao why am i like this. I also looked at pics from my LW today and honestly my body doesn't look much different right now??? Which is weird bc I still have at least 10 pounds til I get there based on my last scale reading but maybe the muscle gain really makes that much of a difference?? I'll take pics when I stop by my brother's house again on the way to TX. Also looked at pics from my HW and it's so great to see that I've never been back to that since I lost it the first time, like I've been gaining+ losing the same 10-20 pounds since then but never gained back the full 30... Also grateful that I started all this before it got too high, like kinda crazy to think I've been in and out of disordered eating/"dieting" since I was 14 but at the same time looking at my before pics I never want to be that big again... in the grand scheme of things ("average american" and all that) it wasn't even that bad but for me I kinda would pick a lifetime of intermittent diet phases...? Also grateful that my "disordered " behaviors never get too out of control and I kinda just phase in and out of them over the years ... Idk life is weird!! Funny to think I'm comparing my current 28 year old body against pictures of my 17 year old body, funny that most people want to get back to their high school bodies and for me it's my HW/before pics. Funny to think about how I took those pics a couple months before junior prom bc I was going to get skinny for it (I didn't) funny how I didn't actually hit my LW til my fourth year in college /21 years old, funny how I'm still here comparing myself to pictures of my younger self at various ages.

I was also thinking about thïgh gäps and how I have a fucked up tailbone bc I fell on ice while snowboarding when I was younger and maybe that influences the thïgh gäp like maybe it caused my pelvis to tilt farther or something ?? Bc I have the narrowest hips lmao I had to buy a new pack for a backpacking trip a couple years ago bc my old pack couldn't tighten enough and the sales guy at the camping store was like "you have the narrowest hips I've ever seen" lol idk I feel like just based on my body structure there's no reason I'm in the club of girls with natural thïgh gäps but I'm glad it's working out that way??

Anyway. Besides the giant slice of cake, today was a good day :) sad I have to leave tomorrow but the next chapter is starting and it's gonna be great!!!

[coffeeeinbed]

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

date: 24th july, 2024 time: 4PM

coffee chat #6 ☕️

hello everyoneeee it's been a while since i've posted. i'd love to tell you i've been busy...but i really have not. i've been staying indoors for the most part, purely because it's so hot out where i live. but i'm having a hard time justifying that. it's summer and i feel like i should be spending my time outside. something i've been thinking about, though, is that modern culture has conditioned us to think that we have to be going out to be productive all the time.

between get ready with me's, what i eat in a day's, vlogging, fit checks, etc. social media is consumed by influencers who are always doing something or going somewhere. rarely ever will you see an influencers who is not going out or "being productive".

and i put that in quotations because productivity has frequently changed meanings, and even carries different meanings for each individual, but in the social media sense, i think productivity is defined by filling your day up. i'm a very active person and a busy body, so i feel really bad about myself if my day isn't filled up with activities. lately, though, i've been so burnt out and craving rest.

i think the non-stop schoolwork since january has probably lead to this, and as of last thursday, this is the first time for an extended period that i haven't been in an academic setting and simultaneously don't have obligations to fulfill. it's really stressful having to fill up all of my time with activities, and this is partly due to the lack of third spaces.

i have a lottt of money/spending anxiety, and i have to justify a purchase before i make it (we're working on it because it does inhibit me from participating in a lot of social activities). with trying to schedule my days off, i've realized that all there is to do here is spend money. coffee shops, going to the beach, going out for dinner, going to the bookstore, picking fruit, escape rooms, etc. are all ideas i came up with for my free time, but they all require paying some sort of fee.

i'd be able to go out more if there were places by which i didn't feel obligated to spend money to enjoy that space. obviously a bookkeeper isn't gonna force me to buy a book, but 1. it's not fun if you don't lol and 2. i feel sort of guilty, especially because my local bookshop is a small business.

anyways, this is just a long winded way of saying that money anxiety sucks, and we deserve more spaces that aren't home or work/school where we can get out of the house. being home can kind of inhibit the level of productivity i achieve since i'm very comfy in my apartment, so i just gravitate to the couch and my bed and just relax all day.

and this is more for me personally, but i cannot stand the girl rot trend. there's nothing wrong with it, and i believe girls are free to rot as they please, but for me personally, i hate the terminology, and it makes me feel like i'm wasting away. it's also made it really hard for me to justify resting because of the stigma surrounding it, and staying home in general.

so now i'm stuck in this cycle of not justifying rotting and not justifying spending money. so i'm kind of at a standstill with what i spend the rest of my summer doing.

and for once, i don't have a conclusion, this is just an ongoing dilemma. i guess the reason i'm putting this out there, then, is to let others know that they aren't alone in feeling this way. i'm honestly just waiting for the weather to cool so that i can start going on midday walks and sit in the park without feeling like im melting.

[purplesurveys]

1886

Do you like meatball subs? I've never had one, but I also don't like meatballs so I'm not feeling too good about what I'll probably think of it in a sandwich.

Are you severely sleep deprived? I wouldn't say severely. I still get a decent amount of sleep; I just have a terrible habit of pushing my limits and turning in between the hours of 2-4 AM.

What music are you listening to? I don't have music on at the moment but I do have a Weverse live in the background. It's the maknaes + Namjoon's live a few days before they simultaneously enlisted.

What is your favorite smell on earth? The fishy, salty-ish smell of fresh seafood. That, and the room scent of my favorite hotel.

What are you doing tomorrow morning? I have no idea. My first free weekend in a month! I'm so excited. I'll definitely check on our stray kitty rescue first thing in the morning; I'll play with him and feed him and take him for a quick walk and such. My sister also asked me to be her driver for her date, but I don't know what time we'll need to leave but that's part of the plans for sure.

What are you supposed to be doing right now? Nothing, so I'm taking this and might also play my game after.

Have you ever killed your elbows on an inflatable obstacle course? It wasn't an obstacle course; just this giant inflatable slide – but yes, I have. It was very hot that day and my elbow just happened to graze the inflatable at the worst time and with the worst angle, so I got a bit of a burn from that.

Are you aware that all these questions are being made up at 3:54 am? No, but thanks for sharing. It's been pretty good so far!

Ever gone a whole day without eating? Welcome to what was my life from September to December 2020.

Do you feel that you need to improve your spiritual life? I don't, because I don't believe in having one.

Can you curse fluently in Spanish? I probably don't know all of the curses, but colonization has taught us a cuss word or two that we use to this day.

If you go to school (HS or college) does your school have a rival? I wouldn't say we have a direct rival the way other universities here do - like how Ateneo's counterpart has always been DLSU. But we are part of the Big 4 so in that aspect we kind of view the other three as rivals, and vice versa.

The closest rival we have is probably UST, but tbh I don't feel the rivalry all that much and it's definitely not as established the way ADMU-DLSU has always been.

What’s your school’s mascot? Oble. it's a statue of a naked man with his arms outstretched and his chest slightly pushed outward, which is meant to symbolize selfless offering of oneself to the nation. We're the national university, so it checks out.

Do the numbers 44 and 53 mean anything to you? Not really.

Ever had banana pudding flavored ice cream? Nope.

If you have a sib, do you call him/her “brother” or “sister” sometimes? I call my sister "sis" or "siz" which where I'm from has been a trendy way to address literally anyone haha. Like I can call a straight guy "siz" and no one will bat an eye; I just happen to use it with my sister too.

Has the weather been odd lately where you live? It's the usual headache of humidity.

Remember “Kenan and Kel”? I have the vaguest memory of it, but ultimately I was too young to ever be its core audience during its heyday.

Does the mere mention of that show make you crave orange soda? No.

Are you *this* close to falling asleep? No, and I have no plans of sleeping any time soon. Don't wanna waste the weekend.

Do you own a Wii? We used to.

If not, do you want one? I would actually love to have one again since I had lots of fun with ours. I spent hours playing Mario Kart Wii even when I already finished the game.

Did you ever collect stickers? Yeah and I was the kid that stuck them all around the house... bless my elders, they never gave me shit for it now that I think about it.

Isn’t Hello Kitty just the cutest thing ever? Not into Sanrio.

Are there any songs you could just listen to over and over and over? Easily. These days it's Heaven, Come Back To Me, and Nuts by RM.

Do you have a favorite basketball team (NBA or college?) No.

Ever had chicken curry and basmati rice? Of course. Love them :)

Do you have a weird obsession with numbers? No.

Does your job (if you have one) involve sitting at a computer for hours? It does. It's like 80% work-from-home, but we also have days where we need to meet clients at their HQ, have events, do media rounds and visit the offices of different publications, etc. It's a good mix.

Do you get major shoulder/upper back pain from that? Or think you would? It's my shoulders and lower back that have the hardest time. It's the reason why I always keep a stock of Katinko now.

Do you have someone who will give you a massage when you need one? My grandmas :)

Ever seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? I haven't.

Do you own any diamond jewelry? Nopes.

Is this survey random enough for you? Sure!

Do you have an American-made car? No, it's Japanese.

Have you been baptized in any religious tradition? I was baptized Roman Catholic, yes.

Do you drink alcohol at all? Sure! Mostly socially, but I will sometimes have a drink on my own.

If not, do you like the smell? Depends. There are some that I think smell like poison, lol.

Are you in a chair, on a couch, in bed, on the floor, what? I'm on a sleeping bag.

Can you eat just one potato chip? That's definitely possible, like if I try a new kind and don't like it.

If your best male friend got a mohawk, would he look good or ridiculous? Probably ridiculous.

Do you love the smell of sunblock? Not particularly but it does evoke some positive emotions here and there. Like how it reminds me of the beach.

Does the computer you’re on have Vista, XP, or something else? Mac OS.

Internet Explorer or Firefox: which do you prefer? I don't use either. I've been on Google Chrome ever since I learned how to use the internet.

What are you going to do now? I feel like looking for a new one to take, so I *might* do that then spend the next few hours on Rhythm Hive haha.

[jsbsam]

Landed on our feet!

Tuesday 14th November

Still grumbling about the change of our flights we arrived at La Paz airport at 4.15am for our 5.50am flight to Cochabamba, wherever that is. On arrival at the airport I checked and our booked 10.50am flight was still due to happen, so we were just dumped probably due to the operator overbooking the flight. I have to say that finding that out didn't improve my mood at all and MM was giving me a wide berth, with good reason. The flight was absolutely full but took off on time and we landed at Cochabamba bang on schedule. Here we transferred to our 2nd flight to Sucre, the other capital of Bolivia. This flight took off late and we arrived at Sucre International airport at 8.20am. It was quite strange coming in to land between the mountains with no obvious habitation to be seen, nothing, just scrubland and hills. It transpired that the airport is 30km from Sucre and it takes nearly an hour to drive.

Once I'd located a taxi driver and negotiated a price of 60 boliviano's (£7.12) we were on our way. Within half a mile it became obvious that we'd hired the Bolivian version of Colin McRae the rally driver. The Bolivians are currently constructing a new dual carriageway from the airport to Sucre but in the meantime it's just a dirt road with no speed limits and all the taxi drivers behaving as though they're in Whacky Races - madness. Surprisingly, senor McRae got us to our hotel without hitting anything or sliding over the edge of a mountain. I paid him his 60 boliviano's and genorously added a 20 boliviano's (£2.27) tip!

Fortunately, this was one of the locations I'd decided that we would push the boat out a bit and our hotel, The Parador Santa Maria La Real, did not disappoint. It's a lovely old colonial building with numerous internal courtyards, nice restaurant, spacious rooms and a roof top bar. Certainly a cut above the usual hostel type places we've stayed at to date. Even MM raised an approving eyebrow - high praise indeed.

Because we were so early we couldn't check in so we left our back packs in reception and headed into the centre of town (a couple of blocks away) to find a coffee and some breakfast. What a lovely place, much more what I expected to find in South America. Colonial buildings, avenues, green squares, etc rather than the tight, scruffy streets we've seen so far. The European influence is clear to see and tomorrow we'll find out more as we do a city tour with our own private guide - should be interesting.

It also helps that the weather has been glorious. Apparently, it's only 23 degrees but it feels so much hotter. Maybe it's the thin air (Sucre is still at 2,790m) or maybe it's because we're much nearer the sun. I've no idea but the UV is high and it feels very hot. The locals are still in fleeces and sweaters though, so it must get hotter.

I like it here, it feels more relaxed and familiar.