#bffs to lovers

[jessikahathaway]

“Besties for the Resties?” - JJK (M)

Hello everyone, I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been having a tough time recently, so please try to understand if I’m not always super active here. I want to be and hopefully I can be here but if I slink into the abyss for a bit I apologize. So, I wanted to post this story so you all have something from me.

Please enjoy! Hopefully I will see you soon <3

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Reader

Genre: BFFs to Lovers (I love a trope pls), Angst, Romance, Smut

Warnings: Reader is orphaned, jk is a lil boob in the beginning (he works on it don’t worry), a slap (deserved one), alcohol/getting drunk, fainting/passing out, Jks antics (they deserve a warning tbh), Yoongi and Hoseok sneaking in for some cameo time (also-Yeri!)-SMUT WARNINGS: Oral (F!receiving), explicit language, unprotected sex (she has an implant but I stg don’t do it-this is fiction), Reader likes jks nips (who doesn’t tho?), kinda mushy and emotional sex, creampie.

Words: 21.2k (Listen I am just as shocked as you-)

Summary: Jungkook had always been your friend since the day you two met as young kids. But what happens when your friendship is put to the test? Can you remain “besties for the resties?” Or will years of friendship be lost in the blink of an eye?

Wait, you’re best friends with the Jeon Jungkook?

Yes.

You mean the most eligible bachelor in the country?

That’s the one, yeah.

Oh my God! You should come to our party next weekend! Of course you’ll have to bring your friend!

He’s been busy recently, I’m sorry.

Can you at least give me his phone number?

This was how a majority of conversations at your college went. People usually found out either because of Twitter, Instagram, or whatever social media was hot right now.

Jungkook could always be found on these apps and usually, one way or another, you’d get roped into it as well.

Jeon Jungkook, 25 and heir to the Jeon billion dollar fashion mogul. But you’ve always known him as Kook, Kookie or Jungkook.

In your younger years, your mother had been a housekeeper and your dad ran a gym. It was an honest living and you were happy.

But when the Jeon’s put out an application for a new housekeeping position your mother couldn’t refuse. She’d applied and gotten the job. So you all moved and thus began your little friendship with the Jeon heir.

Mr. and Mrs. Jeon weren’t the typical ritzy asshole parents. They were welcoming, they were kind and they encouraged Jungkook to play with you, as someone who wasn’t a ‘spoiled brat’, as they liked to say.

Jungkook’s other friends tended to be a little more… well… over zealous.

Jimin was heir to a jewelry empire and Seokjin’s family were all celebrity chefs and Namjoon even had deep pockets due to his family being smart investors. Mainly in the Jeon brand but, it was good money.

They all were nice enough, never questioning Jungkook’s friendship with you-even building some of their own.

But at the end of the day, you and Jungkook were thick as thieves.

You weren’t as outgoing as they were, you liked staying home and reading or cleaning, maybe doing a little room decorating. But Jungkook loved to come over to your small apartment, he loved washing the dishes after you both cooked dinner. He liked doing the laundry and folding it nicely.

But as of recently, he hadn’t been able to come over nearly as much. With a new merger between The Jeon Label and some other foreign brand he’d been stuck at work for what felt like weeks.

He’d still text you and try to call if he could but, it still stung just a bit.

To be reminded of your place.

You were just hoping today he could make an exception.

You sat in your living room, trying not to cry as you looked at your phone.

Kook ❤️: still at work. Srry, I probs can’t make it tonight 😩

You: not at all?

Kook ❤️: it’s stupid busy here, even the interns are still here 🥲

You: bummer.

He’d really forgotten huh?

All these years and he’d forgotten the anniversary of your parents death. The one day out of the year you asked him to be with you.

All of his friends had messaged you their condolences, how they’re thinking of you.

But you only wanted one person here with you…

The one you cared about more than anything.

And he couldn’t make it…

You’d long understood that Jungkook was oblivious to your feelings. He saw you as the quiet friend, his sweet Y/N that he needs to protect. But, never as anything more.

It did sting when you’d see his Instagram flooded with influencers who were much prettier than you, who had more money, who could handle the stress of his job and title.

But you?

You set your phone down and sighed. Even a phone call would’ve been nice. But he’d forgotten, you tried not to be upset. But the ache in your chest made you mad.

Ring ring… ring ring…

You picked up the phone quickly. “Hello?”

“Hey Y/N,” a gruff voice sighed over the receiver.

“Oh… hey Yoongi,” you sighed.

Your history tutor made a small scoff. “Alright, don’t sound too disappointed,” he complained.

“No-I’m not! It’s just…”

“You were hoping for a call from Jeon huh?”

Were you that obvious?

“Maybe…”

“Has he not called you yet?” Yoongi wondered aloud.

“No, he’s stuck at the office apparently,” you sighed, biting your lip.

“He couldn’t even like… call you or some shit?” Yoongi asked, sounding irritated on your behalf.

“Well-there’s this big merger happening and-”

“Whoa whoa, no. Y/N, no. You never ask him for anything. You never get mad at him, you make excuses for him but not today man. Not today of all days. Did he forget?”

A small hiccup came from your mouth.

“I think so…”

“Oh Y/N…”

His voice was soft, something unusual for the typically gruff and aloof man.

It made the damn burst.

“I just wanted him here with me… I-Is that asking too much? On the day my world shattered? The day I lost everything? Yoongi even his parents called me this morning! Jimin, Namjoon and even Jin found time in their busy schedules to at least send me a sweet message! I-I’m so hurt…” you cried.

“Tell him that,” Yoongi offered.

“I don’t want to tell him… he should’ve remembered, he should know what today is…”

The day your parents were involved in a horrific car crash. Ripping them from this world and your arms so brutally.

“He should. It's not right that he forgot,” Yoongi sighed. “Listen, I gotta go but… I’m so sorry for your loss, and maybe we can go get coffee soon to make you feel better, hm?”

You sniffled and nodded, wiping your eyes.

“Sounds good Yoongi, thanks,” you sighed before hanging up.

You laid on the couch, curling up. You didn’t even bother to cover the dinner you’d made up.

You were too sick to eat it now.

—

Jungkook was furiously going over these numbers.

Nothing made any fucking sense at this point.

He’d been there since six that morning and it was nearing ten o’clock. He’d tried talking to you to get his mind off it, but you weren’t answering. Maybe you’d gone to bed early, you did mention there was a test coming up you were cramming for.

His eyes were tired.

His back hurt.

A knock came to his office door as his father stepped in, a gentle yet tired look on his face.

“Hey son,” he smiled, walking in.

Jungkook welcomed the distraction.

“Hey dad,” he beamed, standing up.

“I’m surprised you’re still here,” he said, looking at Jungkook’s mess of a desk. Jungkook blushed softly and rubbed his neck.

“Just got a few more things to go over,” he shrugged. “Then I’m going home to pass out.”

“Ah, so you must’ve already called Y/N then? Usually you two get together today,” he said, looking at a few papers Jungkook had on his desk.

“Um… no? Was I supposed to?” He asked, rubbing his eyes, exhaustion creeping over him.

Jungkook’s father looked shocked and worst of all-disappointed.

“Oh Jungkook, don’t tell me you forgot…”

Jungkook’s brows furrowed. “Forgot what? It’s… it’s not her birthday! It’s the dead of summer!”

“Jeon Jungkook, that girl is your best friend, and you forgot the anniversary of her parents passing?!”

Jungkook’s blood ran cold.

“N-No… I-It’s not until…” his eyes narrowed on the calendar on his desk. “Oh shit…”

“I taught you better…”

“But this merger and-and the company-”

“If this company didn’t exist… if our wealth was liquidated tomorrow half of your friends wouldn’t be there anymore son… but I know for sure one would always be there, no matter what,” Mr. Jeon sighed. “Go, apologize. She deserves that much. I’ll finish up here.”

Jungkook nodded, grabbing his jacket and keys and rushing down the steps.

Fuck!

Fuck!

How could I forget? He cried internally as he rushed to his car.

He tried to call you, but the call went right to voicemail.

His car wove through the streets. He stopped at some twenty-four hour grocery store and got some soft pink flowers that he hoped would at least ease your anger at him.

When he arrived at your small apartment his heart was hammering in his chest. He knocked, and waited. Knocked again. Still no answer.

“Y-Y/N?” He called.

No response.

“Please open the door?”

Still nothing.

He frowned and tried the door, to his surprise it was open. He walked in, looking around for you. But his stomach dropped when he saw a nice dinner laid out on the table. A few of his favorites and yours put together with care.

This must be why you’d wanted to make dinner plans with him… he’s so fucking stupid.

He walked into the living room and his heart stopped. You were on the couch, face puffy and swollen from crying.

He felt like an ass.

His best friend needed him… and he wasn’t here.

He made his way to the couch, noticing you were dressed nice. You’d done your nails, hair and he could see you’d done your makeup as well but it was mostly gone now.

“Oh Y/N…” he sat on his knees in front of you, running his fingers through your hair and trying not to cry. He didn’t deserve to cry now… you were the one he’d disappointed, you were the one hurting.

Slowly, your eyes flickered open and took in his appearance.

“Kook?”

Your head hurt from crying, you could feel the smeared mascara and eyeliner coating your eyes.

“Y/N, I’m so-”

You didn’t let him finish, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into your arms. Hiding your face in his neck like you had since you were little.

“You’re here…”

His hands ran up your back as he clung to you.

“I’m here bug, right here,” he said, using your childhood nickname that he only used when you were mad.

“I thought you’d forgotten…”

Jungkook swallowed hard. “I did forget, dad… dad reminded me and I rushed to get here. I’m so sorry, bug. I’ve been so stressed from work but you-you’re more important,” he said firmly.

“You’re here now… that’s all I care about,” you smiled into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve been here earlier… you made dinner and-and you dressed up so nice, I feel like such an ass Y/N,” he frowned, holding your head.

“You should,” you said, pulling back and wiping your tears. “But you came, you apologized, I accept those. So don’t feel guilty, you can make it up to me.”

Jungkook nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! Whatever you want, I’ll do it!”

You smiled. “Okay, redo then. Next week, there’s a cute little boba place opening and I want to go, they’re supposed to have good prices too!”

“That’s all you want? Cause I can get us anywhere Y/N, anything. Nothing is off the table,” he said.

“Then boba,” you smiled. “That’s what I want, Jungkook, boba and time with you.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but mirror your grin. He nodded, kissing your head and holding you close.

“Then we’ll do boba.”

—

The week passed by uneventfully. You had your tests and such, Yoongi was a little scolding when you told him you’d forgiven Jungkook so quickly.

“He needs to know he hurt you, Y/N, or he’s just going to keep doing it.”

You shook your head. “No Yoongi, he apologized and I know he felt awful-”

“He should’ve, what he did was wrong,” Yoongi pointed out.

The two of you were sitting in the cafe, drinking watered down cheap coffee, but you were happy.

Jungkook hadn’t mentioned the boba place since that night but you knew he was busy. It was alright, you’d texted him the address and time so you two could meet up there.

“Y/N, when are you going to tell him?” Yoongi asked, sipping on his decaf americano. Utter sin, decaffeinated coffee.

“T-Tell him what?”

Yoongi raised a brow. “You’re such a shit liar,” he sighed.

“I can’t tell him Yoongi, I’m just his childhood friend, he probably hasn’t even noticed I’ve grown boobs,” you sighed.

“He’d be dumb not to notice those cause damn-”

You swatted him, trying not to blush. “Stop that, don’t ogle me in public.

“Are you inviting me to ogle in private?” He teased.

“In your dreams,” you snickered.

Yoongi nodded. “Sometimes.”

“I can’t just tell him I love him Yoongi! The last girlfriend he had was so manipulative and only wanted him for his money, he’s been defensive about dating since… I-I don’t want him to feel pressured around me like that and I’m going to be the cliche. I don’t want to ruin what we have, what if he says no?” You frowned.

“Then he’s an idiot and I’ll swoop in and take you for myself,” Yoongi shrugged.

You narrowed your eyes at him, flicking his nose and watching him pout.

Yoongi had made it clear he was interested in you before. But when you’d confessed that you were in love with your best friend, he’d politely backed off. Although he still made it known he was attracted to you.

“There will be no swooping in, cause I’m not saying anything,” you frowned.

“You should tell him, Y/N, cause you keep thinking of the negatives. What if Jungkook is also in love with you? What if he says he loves you and wants to be with you as well? Isn’t that worth the risk?”

Your heart hammered in your chest.

I love you, Y/N…

God you wanted to hear those words so fucking bad…

A text came through your phone, a soft smile gracing your features.

“Ew, you got all heart eyes on me… is it him?” Yoongi asked.

Jungkook had sent you a picture of Bam, playing with the new toy you’d gotten him.

Kook ❤️: Bam loves his new toy 🥺

You: of course he does, mother knows best.

You and Jungkook had called you Bam’s mom since the second Jungkook brought him home.

Kook ❤️: he needs his mom, he’s being a brat today.

You: 🙄 Jungkook every time he acts up I can’t play bad cop.

Kook ❤️: why tho???? Save me… he’s bouncing off the fucking walls, and he’s not listening to meeeee.

You: make him listen???

Kook ❤️: our son misses his mom, come onnnn come see him

You: I stg

Kook ❤️: is that a yes?

You: I’ll be over in 15, tell Bam mommy’s coming.

Kook ❤️: yes dear!!

You rolled your eyes and sipped down the rest of your coffee.

Yoongi raised a brow at your conversation you’d left up on your phone.

“You two share custody of a mammoth dog?” He asked.

“No, Bam is Jungkook’s dog, he just likes to call me the mother of his dog,” you sighed.

Yoongi’s face contorted. “That’s… that’s a little intimate don’t you think?”

“It’s a dog not a baby,” you shrugged, standing up.

“Not yet,” he warned.

You scoffed and thanked him for the little coffee date before heading out and towards the subway.

Jungkook’s penthouse was rather far.

You approached his building calmly, they all knew you here. You came by frequently.

“Ah, Miss Y/N! Mr. Jeon said to expect you,” Minwoo the doorman said, smiling.

“Thanks Minwoo! I’ll be heading up,” you smiled back.

He nodded, calling the elevator for you.

You stepped in and held your breath. Elevators had always made you nervous. But thankfully this one was a generally quick ride.

You got up to Jungkook’s floor and walked in, Bam quickly running to you after you entered.

“Hi my baby!” You smiled, kissing his head as he wiggled his butt excitedly.

“Ah! Mommy’s home!” Jungkook said, coming to greet you.

“Yes yes, now why did I have to cut my outing short? Hmm? Bammy, have you been a bad boy for daddy?” You narrowed your eyes and Bam shrunk.

“He shit on the rug, tore up my brand new couch and got into the cupboard and ate all my instant ramen!” He complained.

“Well the last one is your fault, don’t put anything low unless you get a lock on the cupboard idiot,” you poked his cheek. “But the pooping and tearing stuff up isn’t okay Bam,” you said in your best firm tone.

Bam seemed to pout at being told off.

“Now, you need to be good for your daddy huh? Need to behave so daddy can do his work yeah? Otherwise mommy can’t bring you anymore toys,” you scolded.

Bam came closer and nudged his nose to your hand. You sighed and patted his head, scratching his ears and kissing his nose.

“Go play,” you said, patting his butt.

He did just that, finding your toy and throwing it around.

Jungkook sighed behind you, putting his hand on your shoulder.

“Magic, I swear to you. Every time I scold him he just nips at my fingers! Little brat,” he growled.

You shook your head.

“He’s a puppy, Kook, he’s going to get into trouble, but be firm and reward good behavior. Correct the bad, it’ll all work out. He’s got a great temperament and a good daddy,” you smiled.

“Aw, you’re so sweet to me,” he smiled.

“Well, I try,” you chuckled.

You two migrated to the couch, and you could see where Bam had chewed on it, earning the pup a sharp glare from you. Jungkook just covered it with a blanket and put on a TV show for you to watch.

You relaxed, being in Jungkook’s presence was always calming, had been since you were little.

He’d always been kind, soft with you and tender. But he also pushed you to get out of your comfort zone every once in a while and that was good too.

You made him feel human. Like he wasn’t this big name on a billboard, he was just Jungkook. Not Mr. Jeon, not the heir to a multibillion dollar company… just Jungkook.

And he loved that.

“God I’m tired,” you complained, rubbing your eyes.

Jungkook looked at the clock. It was late, you two had been chatting about random stuff most of the night.

“It’s almost eleven,” he frowned. “I’ve got to get up early…”

“Oh yeah? What for?”

“Marriage meeting,” he sighed.

You damn near choked.

“A-A what?” You squeaked.

“Marriage meeting, mom and dad want me to meet this girl from the states,” he frowned. “She’s supposed to be really nice and her dad is interested in running our brand in with his. He owns luxury department store and malls throughout North America and Europe, it’s a big deal and could be super good for the company.”

Your throat went dry.

“I-I thought your parents didn’t care who you marry?” You asked softly.

“Ah, they don’t really. But I’m getting older and if it’ll help the company I don’t see anything wrong with it… at least I know she won’t be in it for the money. She’s got plenty of her own,” he sighed.

Your stomach clenched painfully.

“I-I see,” you bit your lip.

“Her name is Elsie,” he said.

“Cool…”

He rubbed his eyes, blinking slowly. “I think I’m going to bed, you can stay if you want. Or call Naomi, she can take you home as well. Don’t take public transport now, it’s way too late,” he said, placing a gentle kiss to your head. “Night bug!”

You whispered what you thought was a good night but you weren’t sure.

Jungkook…

Married?

Oh God…

—

You hadn’t really spoken to Jungkook much in the days leading up to the boba outing.

But Yoongi was adamant you needed to tell him about your feelings. And soon.

“Yoongi, I don’t think it’s a good idea, especially with him meeting Elsie and… and everything with the company I don’t want to make him upset,” you frowned.

“But him hurting you is okay? Y/N, your feelings are just as important as his and he’s not seeing that. You need to say something! Or you’re really going to regret it,” he frowned.

You were getting ready for your little redo with Jungkook and Yoongi had come over for his notes and decided to stay and chat.

You put on a cute little white tennis skirt with white stockings and sneakers, you had your simple sky blue t-shirt on and were putting on your earrings.

“I’ll tell him eventually but-I can’t do it right now,” you reasoned. “It’s not the right time.”

“Then when is the right time, Y/N? If you keep making excuses and putting it off you’re only going to suffer more,” he sighed.

“I can wait a little longer,” you said.

“If you say so,” Yoongi said, done with arguing for now.

“How do I look?” You asked, turning and smoothing your skirt down.

Yoongi gave a soft smile. “You look great, do you want me to drop you off?”

“Sure!”

You'd shown up a little earlier than your agreed time but it didn’t matter, you smiled and waited, texting Jungkook that you were here.

An hour passed.

Then two.

Three…

No Jungkook.

You tried calling him.

You tried texting his friends, only Jin answered and he said he hadn’t spoken to him recently enough.

He asked if you were okay. You bluffed, telling him it wasn’t far from your house so if nothing else you’d get home quickly.

Why wasn’t he here…?

“Hey Jungkook…” you trailed off leaving your third voicemail. “Um… it's me again, the boba place closes in an hour and… and you’re still not here. I’m worried, are you okay? Call me please…”

Clouds rolled over the city, as the boba place closed.

Your heart was stomped into dust.

You'd waited six hours and he never showed, didn’t even text you.

He begged for a redo, a chance to make it up to you and… and he does this?

Your tears rolled down your face as the rain started. You couldn’t believe he’d stood you up.

How could he just forget about you like that?

“Fucking stupid… I’m so fucking stupid,” you cried.

You tried to call Yoongi but your phone died. With a sigh you started to walk. It was maybe two miles back to your apartment and the rain didn’t look like it was going to let up anytime soon.

You didn’t even have an umbrella to cover you up.

You shivered as you walked down the street, it was getting cold for a summer night.

As you walked your legs cramped from the chill and the soaked clothes clinging to you.

“Y/N?” A voice called from the road. You turned your head and saw Mr. Jeon getting out of his car and hurrying over to you.

“M-Mr. Jeon,” you stammered out.

“Oh sweetheart what happened?! Why are you out here in the rain?” He said, taking off his jacket and covering you.

You broke down in tears all over again. Mr. Jeon ushered you to the car, turning up the heat.

His driver was waiting patiently, giving you a smile.

“Tell me what happened, why are you soaked?”

“J-Jungkook and I were supposed to… to go to the new boba shop downtown and… and I waited for six hours and he never showed,” you cried, shivering in his seat.

Mr. Jeon’s face turned furious.

“He did what?”

“W-When he forgot my parents' anniversary… h-he wanted to make it up to me so… so I asked him to meet me there for the opening so we could… just hang out and… I tried to call him… text him… he didn’t answer,” you hiccuped.

Mr. Jeon growled in frustration.

“Edward, take us to my son’s apartment please, I’d like to have a word with him,” Mr. Jeon said coldly.

“No, Mr. Jeon please it’s not-”

“If my son is going to treat a woman like this, he is not ready to take over the company. He needs to learn a valuable lesson. And he needs to see what happens when he hurts people,” he stated firmly.

You were quiet for the rest of the car ride.

Mr. Jeon took you up the elevator, rubbing your shoulders to try and get you to warm up.

He didn’t even knock on the door, he barged in and hollered loudly. “Jeon Jungkook, you come here this instant!”

It was late, so Jungkook stumbled out of his room in his sweatpants.

He’d been sleeping?

“Dad? What are you-Y/N? Why are you wet?”

Mr. Jeon slammed his fist on the door to shut it behind you so hard it made you jump.

“Kitchen. Now.”

Jungkook swallowed in fear, but nodded, heading towards the kitchen as his father escorted you and sat you down. Jungkook looked at you in confusion.

“Jeon Jungkook tell me right now why I found Y/N walking through the streets alone and soaked!”

“I don’t know dad! I have no idea why she was out there!”

“You don’t remember?” You squeaked out. “Y-You forgot me? Again?”

Jungkook’s face turned frustrated for a moment. “Y/N, why were you out in the rain?”

“I was waiting…”

“Jungkook, do you remember what you asked for? Do you remember that you forgot her parents' anniversary?”

“I apologized and I asked…” recognition and horror crossed his face. “Oh fuck… the boba shop… I swore I put it on my calendar! I-It wasn’t today originally was it-”

“Jungkook! That doesn’t matter,” Mr. Jeon rubbed his face in frustration.

“Jungkook, she waited for you for six hours! Where were you!?”

“Elsie and I got lunch and then she came over for a while and… and then we um,” he rubbed his neck. And then you saw it. A dark purple mark on his neck.

They’d slept together.

You wanted to throw up.

“Jungkook, I raised you better than this! You know better than to treat the people you claim to care about this way! How dare you leave her soaked and waiting in the rain for you! Do you know how dangerous it could’ve been? She was walking home! In the fucking rain and that damn shop was nearly three miles away from her apartment!” He screamed.

You shrunk at the realization.

He didn’t care…

The second a pretty girl comes along, he forgets all about you. Are you that boring? That uninteresting?

Bam came over and set his head on your lap, whimpering at the loud noises.

“Dad I’m sor-”

“Don’t you dare apologize to me before you say sorry to her,” he snarled.

Jungkook frowned. “I’m sorry Y/N,” he said softly.

“Jungkook I-”

“I’m taking you off the merger,” Mr. Jeon declared.

Jungkook’s eyes widened in shock. “B-But dad I’ve worked so hard!”

“You’ve forgotten, Jungkook. You’ve forgotten about what really matters. All the money in the world couldn’t buy you love… it can’t buy you happiness. Money can’t fix what you’ve done wrong,” Mr. Jeon said.

“But I’ve worked so long to do this! You can’t just take me off of it! The board will think I’m incompetent!”

“And maybe you are!”

The room got quiet.

“I should’ve known you were too young to take over, you’re not ready yet. I’ve told you time and time again that at the end of the day the company isn’t what’s important. Your family, your friends Jungkook, that’s what’s important!” He yelled.

“I know that!”

“Clearly you don’t! Have you even checked your phone?”

Jungkook was about to argue when he saw your face, you couldn’t even look at him.

“No, I haven’t,” he said.

Mr. Jeon looked at you.

“I called you…” you whispered. “I thought something bad had happened, because I believed you couldn’t forget me… not again,” you sniffled.

“Bug…”

“Don’t…” you begged. “Please don’t.”

You really tried to tamp down the anger, the fury. There were so many good memories with Jungkook.

But recently, not only his behavior but the behavior of people who wanted something from you just because he was your friend.

You’d never felt so utterly used.

“Do I really not matter enough to you? All these years of being your best friend and… and this is how you treat me? I know you’re busy, I know work is hard. But school is hard too, people aren’t nice all the time and sometimes I wish I could call you, but I don’t want to bother you at work,” You cried harder.

“Y/N please-”

“I called everyone trying to find you! I texted you! I called you, I even called your office! I was so petrified, I didn’t want to interrupt but they told me you were out! Why, Jungkook? Why… why don’t I matter to you at all?”

“That’s not true!” He cried.

“Then how could you forget me?! Again!” You screamed.

Mr. Jeon looked down.

Jungkook was stunned.

You never screamed at him, you didn’t scream at anybody. You were always so soft, so gentle and tender. You were understanding.

But Jungkook hurt you.

More than once.

And you were tired of it.

“I’m so sick of the person I love more than anything, hurting me like this… if this is how you’re going to treat me then I don’t want to be your friend anymore,” you said, voice breaking.

“No, Y/N, please! Please don’t do this, I love you so much, bug, please!” He said, tears in his own eyes.

“I love you too, but it’s not enough, Jungkook… I’m never going to be enough for you, and I’m tired of trying. Good luck with Elsie, good luck with being a billionaire, and good luck with the company… it’s obviously important,” you said, standing on shaky legs. “Mr. Jeon, I’d like to go home now… will you please take me?”

“No! Let me take you, let’s talk about this bug, don’t do this!” Jungkook sobbed, standing up.

“I’ll take you home, Y/N, come along,” Mr. Jeon said.

“Goodbye, Jeon… hope it’s worth it,” you said, turning to leave.

Jungkook scrambled to grab you, to plead to beg, whatever it took for you not to walk out that door. His chest ached at the sight of your swollen eyes and soaked frame.

He fucked up. He knew that, but if he could just explain…

Just as he was about to grab your wrist you turned and slapped him.

Hard.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Please, Jungkook. Just let me go.”

Jungkook froze, his cheek stinging but he could hardly feel it over the agonizing pain that flared in his chest.

The door shut firmly, leaving Jungkook in his apartment.

He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face.

He was a fool…

And he’d lost you for good.

—

You called Yoongi a few days later.

“He forgot me,” you said softly.

“He what?”

“He never showed up that night… his dad found me walking home in the rain,” you explained.

“That motherfucker…” Yoongi growled.

“I told him I was done. I’m not going to see him anymore and I’m no longer his friend,” you said, your heart breaking with each word.

“Is that what you want?” Yoongi asked.

“Yes…?” You said it like it was a question.

“Well, it’s still fresh and it still hurts. Give yourself time to heal, maybe you can be friends again. He’s important to you,” Yoongi offered.

“But I’m not important to him,” you said, a few tears pricking your eyes.

“I wouldn’t say that either,” he sighed.

“Huh?”

“You two have been friends for over thirteen years Y/N, he cares about you. You can’t be friends with someone that long and not care about them,” he said.

“But he forgot-”

“I understand that, he was a shitty friend recently. And you gave him a chance and he didn’t follow through, but thirteen years is a long time. It’s hard to wipe the slate clean and walk away from that. I’m not saying you have to forgive him now, or ever. Forgiveness is mainly for you, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you more happy than when he’s around,” he said gently.

“I-I know…” you whispered.

“You never told him you love him, you should do that,” Yoongi stated.

“I can’t… not now,” you frowned.

“Maybe not now… maybe not even in a few months. But, if those feelings don’t go away? You need to say something to him,” he said firmly.

“Okay, I’ll… I’ll think about it,” you sighed.

“Hey, it’s your life and relationships, you do what you think is best but… that kind of love isn’t something you should ever-ever walk away from, no matter what,” he said.

“I’ll think about it, Yoongi, thank you,” you said.

You said goodbye and stared out your window.

Would you ever be able to forgive him?

—

Months passed and Jungkook stayed far away from you.

Just as you asked.

No texts.

No calls.

Nothing.

But even after four months apart, you still couldn’t delete his number from your phone.

You’d made a friend with a girl from your anthropology class. Yeri.

She’s super sweet and bubbly, kind and always down for some fun.

It was nice having a female friend. You were usually surrounded by men.

“Oooh, I like this one!” She said with a smile, holding up your emerald green cocktail dress Jungkook had gifted you on your 21st birthday.

Seeing it hurt your heart, but you knew you’d look good in it.

Jungkook had always had impeccable taste.

“Yeah, I like it,” you smiled.

You two were going to the club tonight, and you wanted to get smashed. News of Jungkook’s engagement to Elsie had been swarming the tabloids. Your heart ached at the thought of him being with someone else.

But you’d washed your hands clean of him.

Or so you thought...

Yeri and you arrived at the club a little after eleven.

The party was just getting started.

She went over and got you two some drinks, starting the night off with assessing your possible conquests. Yeri was bold and unashamed of her flirtatious nature. She’d never seen you go after any man! Even though you weren’t lacking attention from the opposite sex.

You just knew that you still weren’t over Jungkook. You missed him so much, your finger had hovered over his number so many times. His contact photo always made your chest ache. A cute selfie of him that he’d taken when he got you this phone for your birthday last year. It was nearing that time again. Fall was in full swing and winter was sure to follow.

Yeri pouted when you spaced out.

“Y/N? Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been kinda down today?”

You had been.

It was the first year you hadn’t spent Jungkook’s birthday with him since you’d been friends and you heard from Jimin that he hadn’t done the usual big bash. Just something small and lowkey. Not his style at all. Jin said he didn’t even really want to celebrate this year, he’d been working so much and he didn’t care if anyone remembered his birthday.

You almost broke that night.

You had been sleeping when your reminder pinged at 12:00 AM on September first.

JUNGKOOKIE’S 25TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!

You’d managed to fall back asleep after sobbing in your pillows, but the ache still remained. You even had his birthday present wrapped in your closet. You’d saved up some money to get him a nice silver bracelet.

You got a cute engraving on it and everything.

JK + Y/N BFFs <3

But, time changes. It’s ever flowing and it’s difficult to comprehend.

However, you hoped he was still having fun. Still able to smile brightly, to laugh with his whole chest, to enjoy food that makes him happy, to-

“Y/N? Hey!”

You startled, realizing you’d been day dreaming...

Again.

“I’ll just be your wingwoman okay?” You said.

Yeri frowned but nodded. “Alright babe, I’m thinking of talking to that guy over there,” she pointed to an attractive man on the dance floor. He was moving his hips to the beat in a tantalizing fashion and you knew immediately why Yeri would love to take him home.

“Alright, game on,” you said, downing your drink.

The night progressed and Yeri discovered this Hoseok guy was quite the charmer.

They danced and hit it off rather well, and you watched from the bar as you drank yourself stupid...

--

It was nearing two in the morning and you were wasted.

Yeri and Hoseok were heading out but she was insistent that she find a ride for you before she left.

“Yerrrriiiii~” you cooed, leaning against her heavily.

“God you’re so drunk,” Yeri whined, trying to keep you upright.

“Should we call her a cab?” Hoseok asked, worried.

“No… if I can’t ride with her then I’m worried she might get hurt… Y/N, sweetie, give me your phone okay?” She asked.

You didn’t object, handing it over to her.

She scrolled through and found your emergency contacts.

“Kook with a red heart emoji?” She wondered aloud.

“Probably her boyfriend or something, try it. If they don’t answer we can figure something else out,” Hoseok said, attempting to get you to drink some water.

“Right, yeah,” Yeri hit the call button.

It rang a few times before a tired voice answered.

“Hello?” It asked.

“Hi… um… is this Kook?” Yeri asked.

“Who’s calling?” His voice sounded annoyed.

“I’m sorry, my name is Yeri. I’m a friend of Y/N’s? She’s super drunk at a bar and I’m worried about her getting home safe,” she said.

“Y/N…?” The voice sounded weak, like he was ready to cry.

“I-Is this a bad time? I can just call her a cab, but-”

“No! No, I’ll come and get her, where are you?” He asked.

“Nightshade club, on Latner Street? Know the one?”

“I do, I’ll be there in five minutes,” he said before hanging up.

Yeri helped you to a chair, trying to keep you from falling over.

“Poor Y/N, I shouldn't have let you drink this much,” she frowned.

“Sss’otayyy, Yerrrriiii!” You slurred.

“Someone’s coming to get you okay? He’ll be here soon, alright?”

You nodded your head, mind spinning.

Shortly, a nice black car rolled up to the club.

A very handsome young man approached Yeri, who was still struggling to keep you from the bar.

“Y/N! Don’t climb up there!” She cried.

“Who are you?” Hoseok asked, moving to grab the young man in case he got too close to the two ladies.

“I’m Jungkook, I’m here for her,” he nodded at you, trying to climb the bar.

“Y/N! Stop!” Yeri yelled.

“Dunnn wannnaaaaa~”

Jungkook frowned, he’d rarely seen you this drunk. You must be upset...

Even on your 21st birthday you'd kept it pretty classy.

“Bug, it’s time to get down, you need to go home before you get hurt,” Jungkook said, softly.

Your head turned to see him. Your eyes sparkled when you realized he was there.

“Kook!” You cried, clambering down from the bar and stumbling over to him. “You’re here…” you trailed off, hands smoothing over his chest. Jungkook tried to keep himself from crying into your arms as he turned you to your friends. Or at the very least, the people who’d kept you alive for the night.

“Yes, I’m here. Say goodbye to your friends and thank them,” he said, holding your shoulder to steady you.

“Bye Yeri! Bye Hoseok! Thanks!” You said.

Jungkook sighed and was glad you weren’t slapping him five ways to Sunday.

“Come on bug, time to go home,” he said.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Carry me?” You asked, lips pouting.

Jungkook’s heart stammered in his chest. Being away from you for so long had made him weak. He’d usually tease you for being so clingy when drunk, but right now he couldn’t say no. He picked you up easily, covering you with his arms.

Yeri moved and placed her hand on his shoulder. Jungkook turned back and looked at her with confusion.

Her eyes were stern. “I shared her location with me earlier, you better take care of her. If she’s not home in twenty minutes I’m calling the cops,” she warned.

Jungkook moved to say something when you peeped up from his arms, looking over his shoulder happily.

“Issokay Yeri! Kook won’t hurt me, he loves me,” you smiled, obviously inebriated. Your cheek was squished against his shoulder as your eyes blinked slowly in your friend’s direction. Jungkook’s chest tightened at your statement.

God... if you only knew how true that was...

Yeri gave Jungkook a skeptical look before nodding.

“She’s been sad lately, I don’t think I’ve seen her this excited since I met her,” she said good naturedly. “You seem to make her happy, but please keep her safe.”

Jungkook nodded. “I won’t let anything happen to her,” he promised.

Not even myself...

He carried you to the car, getting you buckled in and getting himself situated before taking off.

You were pretty quiet throughout the whole ride. He’d even thought you’d fallen asleep at one point.

But when he pulled up to your apartment you were still awake, blinking at him as he undid your seatbelt.

“I missed you, Kook,” you sighed, trying to stand up but only succeeding in falling into his arms.

Jungkook quickly grabbed you, holding you upright. Your eyes were bright in the street light next to your apartment. God... He’d missed you so much, he’d missed your big eyes and how expressive you were.

But he knew he shouldn’t enjoy this...

You probably wouldn’t even remember he’d been there when you woke up.

“I missed you too, Y/N,” he said softly, lifting you into the air and carrying you to your apartment. “Keys? Bug? Where are your keys,” he asked, brushing your hair away from your face.

“Purse...” you mumbled, already getting sleepy on him.

He fiddled with your purse for just a second before grabbing the key ring. His heart stopped when he saw you still had the one he’d purchased for you. Cute little cherry blossoms in resin. He knew how much you loved the flowers, he’d even planned to take you to Japan the following year so you could see them like in all those animes the two of you watched.

But he’d fucked that up.

He’d fucked it up so, so badly and now you’d never go see the cherry blossoms with him... He’d never get to sleep on your couch with you again after a marvel marathon. He couldn’t text you when Bam was being a brat... Ever since that night in his apartment Bam had been a menace to Jungkook. Nipping at him and even growling sometimes.

And his dog missed you too.

Bam wouldn’t play with the toy you’d given him anymore, he just held it in his mouth and laid by the door sometimes. It broke Jungkook’s heart to see his dog missing you too. Because Jungkook wasn’t doing much better.

He’d sit in his office and stare at the picture of you two after you graduated highschool. He’d been so proud of you. And you were just happy to start your life...

And now?

Here you were, getting black out drunk because he’d been a shitty friend. He’d broken your heart and he’d never be able to forgive himself for that.

“Find it?” you asked, voice soft and breathy.

Jungkook jolted before nodding, quickly getting the door unlocked and you inside. He set your feet on the floor as he tried to shut the door behind him. But you were already making things difficult. “Kook? Hey~” you said, poking his cheek. “Why won’t you look at me?” you asked, pouting.

You got so clingy when you were drunk.

Jungkook used to make fun of you and your tipsy antics but right now? He was so starved for your touch he would do damn near anything to keep you in his arms just a moment longer.

Because now he’d have to let you go again.

And it was going to fucking suck.

“Just getting the door closed, Bug. Give me just a second,” he said, holding you up as he managed to get the damn thing to latch. You still hadn’t fixed it, even though Jungkook told you several times he could call someone to get it done.

‘Nah!’

You’d say with a bright smile.

‘Gives me a project to do later.’

Damn, he was about to cry over a damn door.

This was pathetic.

But so fucking true.

Karma was a bitch and now she was making him suffer. He’d been a shit to you, and not only you. He’d been an asshole to his other friends after you’d left as well. They managed to get him on the right track, but he wasn’t the same.

He wasn’t sure he ever would be.

Karma.

“Hey... Kook?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Yes bug?” he asked, attempting to get you to your bedroom so he could at least get your makeup and shoes off.

“Are you real? Is this a dream?” you asked.

He swallowed a sob.

Even in your drunken stupor, you remembered what he did. You remembered what happened and you knew that you weren’t friends anymore.

So what would be better?

A dream that you wouldn’t even remember when you woke up?

Or a reality that could upset you even more?

“It’s a dream, bug, go to sleep. You’ll wake up all nice and warm in your bed, nice coffee-”

You made a noise against his shoulder. Jungkook thought for a second you might throw up but that’s when he felt wetness seeping into his shirt.

You were crying.

“I knew it wouldn’t be true...” you hiccuped, resting your head on his shoulder. “I was hoping you were here... I was hoping you came to get me, that you didn’t delete my number and that you were still my friend.”

Jungkook’s eyes got watery too. Fuck... He wanted to tell you, he wanted to comfort you.

“I’m here now,” he said, lifting your head so he could wipe your eyes. Your mascara was everywhere and your lipstick was smeared from drinking and now crying into his shoulder. “Even if it’s a dream, I’m still here,” he said.

“But you won’t be when I wake up...”

Another sob swallowed.

“No... I won’t be, Bug,” he said, letting a few of his own tears fall. “But that’s okay, because Yeri will be. She’s a great friend to you, huh? She’s nice, tell me about her,” he tried.

“I never wanted anyone but you,” you cried.

He couldn’t do this... He absolutely could not do this. He couldn’t leave you again, he couldn’t just walk away when you were so sad. And he was too... He was weak.

Your hands on his cheeks startled him.

He was crying too. And he was crying hard.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I fucked up our friendship, I made you think you didn’t matter. I’m so so so sorry, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Please, believe me when I say it wasn’t intentional, I never wanted to lose you. If-If I could take it back, I would. I would meet you at that cute boba shop, I’d bring flowers because you love them, not because I fucked up. I-I love you, and I miss you. Always will. But, I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your friendship, I took you for granted and I lost you. That’s how it works.”

He cried as he pushed his forehead against yours, trying to will his apology into your inebriated mind. He knew it wouldn’t stick, he knew you wouldn’t remember. But here and now... He’d at least apologized, he’d at least given you something.

“I love you too, I miss you too,” you cried, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Please don’t leave, I don’t want to wake up and you not be there.”

“You’ve done it before, you’ll survive,” he promised.

“What if I don’t? What if I die because I wake up and you’re not there, huh?” you whimpered, hiding your face in his neck.

“Don’t say that bug,” he begged, rubbing your back. “Don’t say stuff like that, I’m not worth dying over.”

“You are to me...” you cried, clutching him tightly.

Jungkook’s head hurt from how much he was crying. But he pulled himself together. “Come on, you need to go to sleep. You’re tired and you’re not going to feel too good if you keep this up,” he sighed, lifting you into his arms again and carrying you to your room.

He sat you on the bed and managed to get your heels off. He set them nicely by your closet, even sticking some paper towel in them so they wouldn’t wrinkle. He noticed your dress and sighed. He’d bought it for you for your birthday and he just knew you’d look incredible in it. You always begged him not to get you designer stuff, even though he literally was the heir to a fashion mogul. So, he’d shopped on your favorite site and found one you’d look good in.

Even if it was on the pricery end of the website it didn’t even scratch the surface of the money he was prepared to dump on you for your birthday.

But you never wanted it.

You’d always asked for the same things.

A new book.

Some new pens.

New fuzzy socks.

More coffee pods.

A night in with him and some friends.

You didn’t want extravagant. You didn’t think people who did were snobby or high maintenance. You always said that just because a person liked nice things, didn’t mean they weren’t a nice person. If only he didn’t prove you wrong...

All you wanted was his time.

And he didn’t realize that until you didn’t want anything from him anymore.

“Jungkook...” you said, while he was taking off your makeup.

You didn’t sound as drunk anymore, but your glossy eyes told him you were on the verge of falling asleep.

“Yes bug, what’s up?” he said, trying to sound calm.

“Will you stay? Just until I’m asleep, will you stay with me until then?” you asked, eyes filling with tears all over again.

He didn’t have the heart to say no.

“Of course, bug. I’ll stay until you’re asleep.”

He managed to get your makeup off and you in bed, snuggled up nice and comfortable. He was sitting at the foot of your bed, ready to head home when your voice spoke up.

“I’m not asleep yet, you can’t leave...”

Jungkook turned to see you, eyes sparkling with tears as you fought sleep. He’d never seen you work so hard to not fall asleep before. You were always ready to pass out when you’d gotten done drinking. Honestly he was impressed you’d made it this far.

“Y/N, go to sleep. You need to rest, you’re tired,” he said, giving your hip a gentle pat.

“Then let me look at you,” you begged, reaching for him. “If it’s the last time I’m gonna see you then I want to remember you, I want to remember every inch of your face so I never forget. Please,” you cried. You were over tired at this point, Jungkook could tell from a mile away.

You were always so weepy and dramatic when you got too tired. But he knew the desperation you felt. He wanted the same, to look at you head to toe. Remember every inch of you, even if the memory would break his heart, at least he had it.

Jungkook let a few more tears fall down his cheeks. He wanted so badly to curl up with you in your bed, talk about your day, the newest anime you were watching. How you were handling school...

“You don’t want to remember me the way I am now, Y/N, I’m angry and sad and not nearly someone worthy of you remembering,” he said, wiping his eyes furiously.

“I think I should decide that,” you said, eyes drooping. You were almost out.

He took your hand in his, placing it on his face as he leaned forward enough so you wouldn’t have to stretch too far to touch him. You smoothed your fingers over his face, tracing the familiar features like you had when you were younger. You were the type of person who loved to run your fingers along all the sweaters in the store, the soft blankets in his apartment, your fuzzy socks as you pulled them up over your feet. And, his face. You’d always done it when he was upset. It gave him something to focus on. Your touch soothed him, made him relax and he felt so at ease when you were there.

There was no pretense, no expectations.

Just you and him.

Unfortunately, all too soon, your hand slowly fell from his cheek onto his shoulder. A soft snore echoing through the room.

Jungkook allowed himself to break then.

He cried, holding your hand against his cheek as he tried to calm down enough to at least drive home. But fuck...

Fuck it hurt so bad.

--

You woke up feeling like you’d gone to hell and back all in one evening.

And you didn’t remember a damn thing.

Well, you remember Yeri and Hoseok...

You remember wanting to dance on the bar, but... After that?

You winced as you sat up. A glass of water and medicine by your bed. You tilted your head and frowned for a second.

Yeri must’ve put it there for you.

You gave a soft smile before taking the medicine and getting up. Your head hurt and your face was super puffy like you’d been crying. Damn, you hoped you hadn’t made Yeri uncomfortable at all. You weren’t super close, but you’d like to be.

She was really kind and genuine so you were really hoping that your night of drunken stupor hadn’t frightened her off.

You’d been drunk around her before but not blackout.

Thankfully, Yeri called later so you could apologize.

“Yerrriii~” you whined, hiding your face in the couch. “I don’t want to hear about my drunken escapades. I’m embarrassed enough as it is!”

“Ah, sweetie,” she chuckled. “No need to be, I apologized to the bartender and he was cool about it. Hoseok wasn’t even phased, he said he had a friend who was wilder than you when drunk! Crazy huh?”

“Well at least you got to go home with a cute guy!” you smirked.

Yeri sounded confused as she spoke next. “You went home with someone too, your boyfriend right?”

“Huh?” you sat up. “What do you mean, Yeri? I thought you brought me home?”

“No, Hoseok and I couldn’t figure out how to get you home and then me home without getting one of those big Ubers that are stupid expensive and I didn’t want to leave you alone in a cab so we called and this super hot guy showed up! Calling you sweet little nicknames and you said he loves you so I just assumed-”

“What was his name? Yeri?” your voice was strained.

Did he come for you?

At two in the morning did he wake up and drive halfway across the town just for you?

“Um... someone named, uh-Kook? With a little red heart emoji?” she clarified.

Suddenly you felt sick, sicker than you had when you woke up.

Jungkook...

“Shit...” you said, eyes welling up with tears.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Should I not have called him? Did he hurt you!? Are you okay? I’ll kill him what-”

“No, Yeri... He’s a good guy, I’ve known him for years. We had a-uh... Falling out a few months ago, so,” you coughed awkwardly, trying to stave off the agony piling up in your throat.

“Well... He seemed pretty worried about you. Seems to care about you a lot, to come all that way to pick you up and take you home,” she said, trying to make you feel better.

But it only made you feel worse.

“Thanks, Yeri... I’m gonna be late for class if I don’t get moving. Sorry, I’ll chat later?”

“Sure, Y/N, take it easy!”

--

You’d never been good at reading your own body.

If you were sick, you were always the last one to pick up on it. Jungkook was always the one who seemed to notice you wheezing, your sore throat and coughing.

But even you were starting to think that maybe you should go see a doctor...

It’d been two weeks since Jungkook had picked you up from the bar, and he hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t texted, hadn’t called or even checked in on you through his friends you still spoke to.

Yoongi was the one to mention you looking unwell.

“You look like shit.”

He could’ve said it nicer but he got his point across.

“I’m fine,” you said, voice scratchy and head throbbing.

“If you’re fine then I’m fucking Hercules,” he snorted. “After class go get some tea and sleep, okay?”

You nodded.

But you were a big, fat liar.

It was reaching damn near ten o’clock and the library at your school was closing.

You’d been trying to finish this project all night and you hadn’t gotten an ounce of work done. The words were all jumbled, your mind was mush and you were so tired you were fighting to stay awake.

As you were walking up the steps to your apartment you could feel something was wrong. You weren’t okay, you really needed to see a doctor...

Your head was spinning, your chest felt heavy and you could tell you had a fever with how hard your hands were shaking as you tried to get into your apartment.

You grabbed your phone, desperately trying to call Yoongi or Yeri to come and help you.

Neither answered.

It was late... They probably wouldn’t even see you called until the morning...

Could you call him?

He came before...

In your delirious and frightened stupor you hit call, your knees were shaking and you were panting into the phone.

“Hello?”

His voice...

Oh fuck, his voice...

“Jungkook,” you whimpered, head foggy as you tried to stay on your feet.

“Y/N...? Why are you calling me-”

Your mind was blacking out. The edges of your vision going dark as you tried to keep yourself upright.

“Kook... help me...”

And everything went dark.

--

Work was hell.

It was so late and he just wanted to fucking go home and drink.

Ever since he took you home a few weeks back he’d been having a hard time sleeping. All he could see was your crying face as you begged him to be there when you woke up.

And his calendar was just fucking crammed.

Jungkook was struggling to keep up with everything. He had wedding planning to do, dinners to arrange, meetings to attend and-

Ring ring... Ring ring...

Who the fuck was calling right now!?

Jungkook didn’t even look at the phone as he answered it.

“Hello?” he asked into the receiver.

Soft panting came through the phone. “Jungkook...”

That was your voice.

His heart was beating a million miles a minute. What were you calling him for?

Were you drunk again?

“Y/N...? Why are you calling me-”

He didn’t even get to finish his statement before his stomach dropped to the floor.

In your weak, shaking voice you called for him.

“Kook... help me...” you pleaded before he heard a loud thud and the phone fall.

“Y/N?” he asked.

No response.

“Y/N, hey!” he called. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

Still no response.

He didn’t know where you were, he didn’t know what was going on.

But he was going to find you.

Thank God you didn’t block his number. He kept your call open as he tried to use location tracking on his phone.

“Bug? Can you hear me? What’s going on, where are you?” he asked, trying to see if you’d talk.

His phone pinged with the location.

Your apartment.

You were at home.

Without any second thoughts he burst out of his office and took off down the hall, grabbing his keys and wallet and bolting down the stairs to his car. He wasn’t waiting for a fucking elevator.

He stayed on the line the whole way to the parking structure, trying to talk to you. Trying to see what was going on. When he finally got to his car the call dropped.

He panicked and kept trying to call you back, but your phone must’ve died.

“Shit, shit!” he said, jumping into the front seat and driving erratically down the road.

He was shocked no one pulled him over with how recklessly he was driving. You’d scold him for it later, but right now he needed to know you were okay. Even if you slapped the shit out of him, beat him and told him to never come near you again.

He needed to know you’d be okay...

When he pulled up to your apartment building he flew up the steps and to your door. It wasn’t latched, so he pushed it open and found you laying on the floor.

“Y/N!” he cried, falling to his knees next to you. “Hey, hey are you okay? Y/N, sweetheart hey!” he called, trying to get you to wake up.

You were burning up and he came to the conclusion you were sick.

And you’d put it off like you always do.

Carefully he tried to sit you up when he noticed the blood on the floor. His heart stopped as he checked you over but found it had come from your nose. You must be really sick if you were like this. Usually you’d see a doctor if it got this bad but, apparently you didn’t catch it quick enough this time.

With strength he didn’t know he had, he hauled you into his arms and carried you to the car.

He just hoped you’d be okay.

What if I die because I wake up and you’re not there?

--

Everything ached.

Slowly, you opened your eyes and saw you were in a hospital bed.

There was an older woman checking a clipboard at the end of your bed who met your eyes and smiled gently. “Hello sweetheart,” she said.

“H-Hi...?” you asked, trying to sit up.

“Ah ah,” she stopped you, coming close to help you settle back in. “Try not to move a lot just yet. You’ve been out for a whole day,” she said.

You looked outside and noticed it was dark... But not from the night you passed out, it was the next night.

“Oh...” you said, biting your lip sheepishly.

“That boyfriend of yours is going to have a fit you woke up and he’s not here,” she chuckled.

“Boyfriend?” you asked.

“Oh, I don’t mean to assume. The one who brought you here. He carried you in here all panicked. We thought you were going into labor with how he was acting,” she chuckled, but it was good natured. “He was so worried about you, calling you bug and sweetheart, holding your hand when the doctors came in to check on you. We just assumed you two were together because... how in love he is with you,” she said softly.

Jungkook...?

In love with you...?

“Where is he?” you asked as she lifted a cup of water to your lips for you to drink.

“Ah, unfortunately his dad came and sent him home. He’d been at work all day when you’d called and then he stayed until just about an hour ago,” she said.

He was with you for almost twenty-four hours?

“He... he didn’t leave at all?” you asked.

“No, he got snippy with the nurses a few times though. But we knew he didn’t mean anything by it, he’s worried about you,” she said.

“I-Is his dad still here?” you asked.

“Yes, he is. Do you want me to get him?” she offered.

“Yes... Yes I’d like to speak with him please,” you said.

She nodded and disappeared out of the room and down the hall.

He came for you...

You called and he came for you.

He carried you into the hospital and was worried, he snipped at some nurses because he was worried...

We just assumed you two were together because... how in love he is with you...

Jungkook, loves you?

“Y/N?” Mr. Jeon’s voice echoed loud in your ears as you turned to look at the door.

He looked good for not having seen him in almost five months. You gave him a kind smile before he came over and squeezed your hand gently.

“You scared us,” he said, holding your hand carefully. “Jungkook called me in hysterics, saying you were dying in the hospital and I had to come see you and then he wasn’t making any sense-anyways,” he said, another squeeze to your hand.

If he wasn’t making any sense how did he drive home?

Was he okay?

Did he eat anything? Drink anything-

“Don’t worry, Y/N, I called Naomi and she came and got him. I told her to make sure he drank water and had something to eat before he went to bed, okay?” he said, reassuring you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, feeling tears fall down your cheeks.

Mr. Jeon shook his head, wrapping you up in his arms gently. “You have nothing to apologize for. Least of all to me, Jungkook’s the one who was about ready to have an aneurysm because of a fever.”

You sighed. “He’s always been melodramatic, why stop now?” you joked.

Mr. Jeon chuckled softly, giving a nod before stepping back. “He’s going to be devastated you woke up and he wasn’t here... He kept babbling about how you’d die if you woke up and he was gone.”

What if I die because I wake up and you’re not there?

Wait...

You’d said that.

It’s fuzzy, and makes your mouth taste sour but. You remember saying that to Jungkook.

Suddenly, you were thrown back into that night.

Asking him if he was a dream.

Asking him if he would stay.

“When will he be back?” You asked, your voice wobbling.

Mr. Jeon gave you a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Probably in a few hours, get some rest. I’ll stay until he comes back, okay?”

—

You could hear his voice in the sea of sleep, his warmth enveloping you and holding you close.

“Did she wake up at all?” You could hear Jungkook’s exhaustion, he likely wasn’t gone long enough to get a full night's rest.

“She did, but it wasn’t for long,” a nurse said.

“D-Did she ask for anything? Anyone?” He said, looking at you.

He was still bone tired, but he only let himself sleep for a few hours. What if you needed him? What if the hospital called and you-

“Kook…?” Your voice was scratchy you noticed, making you clear your throat before opening your eyes.

Jungkook stood frozen in the room. As if waiting for you to send him away, waiting for you to yell at him. But all you could do was reach, begging him to come closer.

He didn’t make you wait, moving forward quickly as he wrapped his arms around you. “Fuck, Y/N,” he said, voice strained with worry. “Never fucking do that again, I thought you’d died,” he croaked, kissing your head briefly, he winced when he pulled away because he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to do that... He just did it without thinking, oh God what if-

“I-I’m sorry,” you whispered, burying your face in his shoulder.

“Don’t apologize,” he said, moving back to look at your face. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I was a bad friend and got you into this mess,” he frowned.

“It’s not your fault I don’t know when I’m sick,” you said with a soft smile.

“Y/N…”

You shook your head, bringing him back in for another hug. Jungkook sighed, resting against you lightly, allowing himself to feel at ease for the first time in months.

Mr. Jeon walked in, knocking on the door before Yeri and Yoongi both walked in behind him.

“Y/N!!” Yeri cried, rushing forward. Jungkook stepped aside for a moment so she could squeeze you. “Jesus I saw your missed calls and when an older man answered your phone I got so worried,” she said. “But it turns out Mr. Jeon is pretty alright,” she said with a kind smile.

“Alright, move over Yeri,” Yoongi chuckled, giving you a gentle hug as well.

The two started chatting with you, asking about things that Jungkook didn’t know about.

Your new semester has started and he wasn’t privy to your schedule anymore. So he stood back, letting your friends speak and make you feel better. Even though he was desperate to do it himself.

Mr. Jeon watched as his son left the room, walking down the hall with his head hung low. He sighed, sending a quick glance your way. You were speaking to your friends but your eyes were still trying to find Jungkook after he’d left the room. Mr. Jeon gave you a nod before following him.

“Jungkook, son,” he called, jogging down the hallway to grab him.

“Her friends are here, she doesn’t need me anymore… Did we pay for the expenses? If not let me do it,” Jungkook said, grabbing his wallet out when his dad stopped him.

“Son, why are you running away from her?” He asked softly.

Jungkook tensed up, biting his lip as he struggled to keep his composure. “Because… her friends are there, the ones who always chose her. The ones who didn’t forget her, the ones who prioritized her… the ones who deserve her,” he whispered.

“Jungkook…” his father said, his tone gentle. “People make mistakes, people learn and they grow. You may not have been deserving of her friendship a few months ago… but now you might be able to ask her if maybe-maybe she’d like to try again,” he offered.

“What if she says no?” He whimpered. “I can’t keep letting her go, it hurts too much,” he said.

His dad brought him in for a tight hug, patting his back a few times to ease his cries. “Then you’ll respect her decision, but something tells me this time apart was just as hard on her as it was for you,” he stated.

Jungkook nodded, sniffling and wiping his eyes before he looked back towards your room. You were laughing with Yeri, Yoongi scowling but not in an angry way.

Yours and Jungkook’s dynamic had always been complex but it had never been hard.

He waited patiently in the hall until Yoongi and Yeri left. Not without looking at Jungkook. Yeri stopped and waved at him, Yoongi gave him a nod before leading her back down the hall.

Jungkook stood and walked back to your room. He waited by the door, standing there as he looked at you. “Hi…” he said, looking down at his feet for a moment.

You looked at him. He was clearly tired, his shoulders slumped forward.

“Hi,” you said softly. “You can come in Jungkook.”

He stood still, taking a few deep breaths before walking in and standing next to your bed.

He’d been crying…

“The doctor said that once your fever comes down they’ll send you home,” he said, voice quiet.

“Yeah? That’s good then, right? Yeri said she’d get notes for me for some of our classes at least,” you stated.

Jungkook nodded and the room went quiet. It was awkward how the silence hung between you two when it was usually nonexistent.

But Jungkook didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do to make things okay again. Where did he start?

“Kook…?” You asked, looking at his spaced out expression. His eyes snapped to yours as he seemed to be spiraling. “Hey, do you need a hug?” You asked, already reaching for him.

You didn’t even realize you were doing it. Your body knew his ques and tells so well at this point. He was fiddling with his sleeves, and he couldn’t hold your gaze too long.

He was nervous, almost scared.

But he was also weak. Weak for you and your affection. So he moved to accept your embrace, hugging you tightly. His head slotted where it always did, right in your neck. He sighed shakily, like this was almost painful for him.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay, Jungkook?” You asked, voice tender. You were talking like you always did.

The memory of your red eyes and raw throat once you yelled at him in his apartment haunted him. So to hear your normal voice, not one filled with tears or booze or anger… just you…

Jungkook choked on a sob, winding his arms around you tighter, leaning into your touch like he was used to. Finally allowing himself to feel your embrace.

Even if it would be the last time you’d let him.

“Jungkook…? Please talk to me, what’s wrong?” You asked, running your fingers over his brows, gently sweeping your thumb along his jawline.

Tracing his features like you always do.

“I fucking miss you,” he cried into your skin, holding you closer still.

He didn’t add any kind of grand gesture to his words, he didn’t try to coat them in flowers or barbs or whatever. It was just the plain and simple truth.

The painful truth.

He misses you, he misses showing up on your doorstep with your favorite takeout. He misses texting you cute pictures of Bam and receiving your classic, ‘he’s a mama’s boy!’ text. He misses the simplicity of your relationship, how easy it was to be just Jungkook and Y/N. You’d never asked him to be more or less.

You only ever asked him to be himself, to be genuine and authentic with you.

Your throat clenched at his broken voice, the way his body shook as he tried to pull you as close as the bed and equipment would allow.

You felt the warmth of his tears on your neck, making you tear up as well. You’d imagined it wouldn’t be easy for him. But Jungkook was always the more sensitive one, contrary to popular belief. He was very tender hearted and soft, he just wanted love.

And you were his person for years and years. His comfort, his rock, his support, his home.

And to suddenly be ripped away from you, especially when he knew it was his fault. It hurt all the worse. He’d beaten himself up over the last months, he’d been mean and judgmental towards himself and his work even.

His father had been so worried he’d almost called you a few times. Because he didn’t listen to anyone the way he listened to you.

“I miss you too.”

Your words hung in the air, causing Jungkook to freeze. He pulled back from you, eyes red and full of tears. “Y-You miss me? Even if I-”

“Kook,” you stopped him, wiping his tears away with your thumbs. “I called you, twice. I called you two times after not speaking to you for months and you came. Both times. You were there when I needed you, you made it up to me. This is me forgiving you,” you said, giving him your classic smile.

His heart ached.

He doesn't deserve it!

He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness… your friendship. Certainly not your love, no matter how badly he wants them.

He doesn’t deserve you.

“I-I can’t…” he whimpered, head dropping forward in shame.

“You can, kookie, you can,” you promised. “And I’ll be here to help you.”

—

It was your discharge day only a couple days later. You’d responded well to the fluids and medicine and were ready to go home!

“Bug! You almost ready?” Jungkook called, standing outside the bathroom. Yeri had run to your apartment to get you some clothes to get comfy in.

Jungkook had pitched a fit about you being alone while taking all this medicine. Even though it was only for a few more days.

So you were staying with him for the weekend.

Jungkook and you were good. Better than ever really. You both apologized, him a little more than he needed to but you understood. He was worried, he didn’t want to overstep or make you upset.

But, there was something he was hiding.

You could tell something was up.

He had that look on his face. The look of ‘this is my innocuous face nothing suspicious here promise’ written all over his features. But you couldn’t possibly figure out what was going on.

“So, the fiancé isn’t going to be mad that I’m staying with you?” You asked, already wanting to shove your foot in your mouth for asking such a stupid question.

You’d managed to ignore the incoming fiancé bomb for the most part but the thoughts were eating you alive so you just… damn.

“Ah… yeah, we’re not together anymore,” he sighed.

“B-But! You got engaged like two weeks ago?!”

Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head. “Ah, she had to pull out. Her girlfriend wanted to try again and she didn’t want to give up on her just yet,” he offered. “We’re still making a deal just not as intricate as before,” he said.

You swallowed thickly at this information.

Why did this information of his relationship status throw you for such a loop. You were ready to be disappointed.

But here you were.

Single.

And here Jungkook was.

Single.

For some reason it felt different than before. There was a period of time when Jungkook had girlfriends, one night stands and other exploratory things going on in his sex life-and that was fine. Normal and such.

But you’d been a late bloomer, only getting your first boyfriend at around twenty. He’d taken your virginity and then you’d both drifted apart as people do.

After that you’d not done much in regards to relationships outside your platonic ones.

Of course being hung up on your best friend did that.

So… what do you do now?

“Bug? Come on honey, let’s get you out of here. Bammie is going to be so excited to see his mommy!” He said with his adorable scrunched face.

“Yeah? Maybe we can stop so I can pick him out a new toy, huh?” You suggested, opening the door to the bathroom and handing him the gown to put in the bin across the room.

He did so without question, coming back to hand you your coat. “Can you walk or do you want to ride in a wheelchair?” He asked, brushing some of your hair out of your face.

Your heart stammered at his proximity.

Shit…

Being away from him for months had worn down those defenses you'd built so carefully growing up.

Jungkook was handsome. Physically painful to witness at times, chest twinges weren’t uncommon.

Lower twinges as well…

The thought made your cheeks burn and eyes turn slightly shifty as Jungkook watched your thoughts and feelings flit across your features like they always do.

“You're thinking about something, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” He asked.

You nodded quickly, giving him an easy smile. “Yes Kook, I’m good. But I want you to push me in the wheelchair, just don’t run me into the wall like you did after I got my wisdom teeth out,” you laughed.

He gave an indignant pout, eyes looking challenged. “Hey! You weren’t sitting still! You almost fell onto the floor,” he complained.

“I was high off of anesthesia! What did you think was gonna happen?” You laughed heartily.

Jungkook’s eyes got glossy again.

You’d noticed he’d look at you for a minute sometimes, almost getting lost in thought. When you’d treat him like you always did, his features relaxed. Almost in… relief?

It was the tone of your voice. The pitch of your laughter.

Jungkook couldn’t help it. Everything you did endeared him more and more.

He’d always known you were lovely. Soft, sweet and beautiful.

You were loving and gentle, and Jungkook appreciated you so very much. Most people knew him as the golden boy. His fathers pride and joy and a charmer that made his mother blush in joy. But you knew him as Jungkook, always as himself. His truest self.

There was no pretense.

Things between the two of you were easy, natural. Jungkook didn’t have to think around you, because even if he didn’t make sense you understood him enough to not be scared away by his awkwardness at times, or his obsession with things that weren’t the norm for guys his age.

(The banana milk, the marvel figurines and many more occupy your mind with a sweet hint of nostalgia for the man in front of you, unbeknownst to that very person).

“I promise I’ll drive carefully, if you promise to ride carefully, huh?” He offered.

You snorted before giving a nod as he brought the chair to you.

Jungkook held the handles as you gently lowered down into the chair. He’d done this for you several times over again in your life. Whether it was for your wisdom teeth or to remove that piece of glass from your foot.

He’d always been right behind you. Loving you and supporting you with his gentle warmth that could turn into a fire if left unattended by your watchful rationality.

Jungkook was your best friend.

He’d always been since the day you met.

“Alright, hold on tight!”

You smiled softly as he guided you out of the hospital, down the halls and onto the elevators.

He had all the nurses swooning with the way he was looking at you. They all watched with the same fond expression.

However you both remained oblivious to them, far too wrapped up in your teasing conversation.

Your normal.

Finally, you made it out front with Naomi giving you a tight squeeze.

“Ahh! You look skinny! You need to eat more, I’ll have to make you some kimchi jjigae huh?” She teased, giving your cheeks a good natured smoosh.

“Stob it!” You whined, cheeks squished making your words come out funny enough to make Jungkook’s heart throb.

“Sorry, sorry Princess,” she soothed, smoothing her hands over your hair and giving you another small hug before getting the door for Jungkook and yourself.

Jungkook helped you up as Naomi went to put the chair back.

You both got in the car and Naomi shut the partition.

You sighed in relief as you pulled away from the hospital. The buildings gave you horrible anxiety, and Jungkook knew this as his hand rubbed your thigh comfortingly.

“You okay, Y/N?” He asked.

“Just the usual, kook. Hospitals still freak me out, they probably always will in a way,” you sighed.

“I get it,” he promised, kissing your head and giving your shoulder a squeeze before his phone rang.

“Shit, it’s mom, hold on,” he said, answering it shortly after.

You nodded, looking out the window and watched the city pass by. You still felt Jungkook’s hand in yours though, warm and soft.

As always.

—

Jungkook was still sour as he sat on the couch as you cooed and guffawed at his dog. Who had, rather rudely in fact, blew right past him to land square at your feet with the sweetest eyes he’d had in months

“Tsk, damned traitor,” he growled, trying to fight the jealousy that his dog was right where he wanted to be.

Your lap.

Bam and him had been at war for the prized spot of your soft and supple thighs that were utterly perfect pillows.

Jungkook can’t remember how many times he’d fallen asleep on your legs, it’s been far far too many to count.

Although, his dog currently blocking him from increasing those stats was making him ridiculously jealous.

You could see it too, because you smirked when Bam started snoring. Jungkook hardly ever had the heart to wake the pup once he was out like this.

However, you weren’t sure it was applicable tonight.

“Bug…”

“Yes?” You asked, scratching Bams tummy softly. You’d just taken your medicine a while ago and you were getting a little sleepy.

“I think Bam has to go potty.”

“Jungkook, he's sleeping.”

He huffed, annoyed at your lack of attention. “H-He’ll need to go when he gets up, he’s had trouble with not peeing before I get up.”

“Alright, wake him up then,” you said, giving him a pointed look.

“I can’t Y/N-”

You rolled your eyes and patted Bam on the rear. He snorted and woke himself up with a jolt. A soft peel of laughter came from you at his goofy expression.

“Come on Bammie, we need to go potty then we need to go to bed,” Jungkook called softly, standing and walking towards the door.

“Gonna take him outside?” You asked, knowing he had space on his balcony that he could use but Bam often liked going for a little wander before his end of evening potty.

“Yeah, head to bed, I’ll be there soon,” he said.

Your heart thudded dangerously.

Fuck…

This whole day, this entire time since he’d picked you up at the bar your heart has been yearning for him.

This isn’t the soft crush you’d parted with…

It was turning into genuine love, and it certainly didn’t feel platonic.

Head to bed, I’ll be there soon…

“Is the guest room not ready?” You asked, voice light but there was a slight waver in your tone.

Jungkook turned with a confused expression. “No? I didn’t think we’d need it, my beds big enough yeah?”

Thump…

Thump…

“Okay, do you still-”

“Pink toothbrush, your toothpaste is still in the drawer with mine,” he said, pulling on his shoes.

You felt emotion clog your throat, making you nod as he walked out with Bam in tow. A few stray tears fell down your cheeks before you wiped them away.

He still has my toothpaste, he got me a new toothbrush…

All of these things were mundane, even expected in a sense. But, your chest fluttered all the same.

You hurried to his room, smiling at the fact he’d even gotten a few of your skincare products out. Your heart squeezed when you realized they were new, he’d remembered all of them.

Brushing your teeth and climbing into bed felt like a dream. The sheets were soft and smelt nice, like they always did.

And you fell asleep, only barely waking to a soft voice telling you to go back to bed.

“Sleep bug, I’m right here.”

—

Heat.

Sweltering heat.

That is how sleeping with Jungkook normally went. He was a fucking furnace, even if all he slept in was a pair of boxers!

But you woke to push some of the blankets off, shifting with some difficulty as Jungkook’s arms were like iron fucking bars around your waist.

His hands settled on your lower stomach. You swallowed hard as you tried to not think about it too much.

After winding down and managing to breathe without feeling like you're burning alive.

That’s when you felt it.

You shifted your hips slightly just to confirm your suspicions and to your utter disbelief you were correct.

Your best friend.

Your sweet Jungkook had a boner, a quite impressive one, and it was pressed firmly against your ass.

Death was imminent.

Your mind was running three thousand miles a minute. What do you do?!

You and Jungkook have slept together in the same bed multiple times, but usually Jungkook doesn’t cuddle much. And if he does you manage to wiggle out before this situation happens.

Also, you tended to sleep like the dead. Just another thing you and Jungkook shared. Although you were fairly certain that he was the heavier sleeper of the pair of you.

His hands tightened around your stomach as he pressed further into your body. His head fell into the crook of your shoulder and neck. He sighed softly, his breaths panting against your skin and causing goosebumps to run along your flesh.

“Y/N...” he drawled, clearly still asleep. His voice was deep and raspy, making your thighs clench unintentionally which caused your hips to rut backwards just a touch. But Jungkook made a soft pant in your ear that had wetness collecting in your panties to your shock.

Not that you hadn’t left this room in search of some extra underwear before...

Jungkook shifted towards you with a grunt, nestling into your neck and shoulder to the point he was damn near wrapped around you.

And that certainly didn’t help the morning wood that had found an apparently pleasing spot right on your ass cheeks. You didn’t want to embarrass him by waking him up...

But this was going to melt your brain if you continued any longer. “Kook,” you mumbled, tugging on his wrists. “Wake up.”

“Mmm,” he sighed, staying firmly in place.

“Jungkook, get up,” you said, pushing back with your hips.

A soft moan escaped him as you wriggled around. You felt him roll his hips forward in response, causing your breath to catch in your throat. Causing a stupid and loud spluttering cough to fall from your lips.

Jungkook startled awake at your jolting and loud hacking.

“Bug? Whas’ wrong?” he slurred, trying to sit up so you could breathe.

“Jungkook-bathroom,” you pointed.

He tilted his head in confusion, before he looked down and his face turned beet red.

“O-oh! Y/N, I-I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean to-uh... It’s kinda just a thing, but I can understand it’s uncomfortable-”

“Jungkook.”

“Yes.”

“It’s okay, I know how penises work. Just go cool off in the shower so I can get my blood pressure back to a normal level please?” you asked, keeping your head down.

Jungkook shuffled off the bed awkwardly and tried to hide himself best he could. You tried to steady your breathing as you felt your heart hammering far too quickly inside your chest.

Holy shit...

What is one supposed to do when you’re so turned on by your best friend you aren’t sure how to breathe?

You heard the shower turn on and you were snapped out of your horny stupor.

Jesus...

You weren’t normally so... feral about all of this. Had being away from him really done this to you? Your heart ached to be close, to hold him tightly and keep him with you... But, you just got back to being friends-

But, how long until you couldn’t bury the frustration and anger anymore? How long would you have to bottle up the scarily not platonic feelings swirling in your chest.

Why was your heart still racing so fast?

Your chest hurts.

Oh fuck-

That night burns hot in your mind. Him forgetting, you leaving.

It had been so hard to walk away. You were devestated for days. Yoongi had to come and force feed you. He’d threatened to call Jungkook if you didn’t delete his number. But you couldn’t…

The little picture you used as his icon made the deep agony in your heart ease for just a moment.

But the anger-

You slapped him.

Oh God, why do you want to burst into tears? What is this ache right in the base of your throat...? You want to cry, but you want to apologize more.

With a gentle cry you jumped out of the bed and scrambled like some stupid love-drunk idiot.

Jungkook may have been wrong first.

But you were wrong too.

You’d hurt him too.

By not staying, by not fighting for your friendship. By not at least giving him a chance to explain himself. To apologize. To try.

And... And for not being honest with not only him... But yourself.

Fuck... you’re so sorry-

“Kook!” you cried, falling through the bathroom door. Jungkook jumped as he stood there in his pajama pants and nothing else.

“Bug?! What’s wrong? Y/N, jesus fuck what-”

“Jungkook I’m so sorry I love you!”

Your throat ached with how much you were crying.

The dam of him being gone-had burst. The pain you’d felt being away from him.

You thought you could ignore the guilt that was eating you alive. You could just move on, you’d both learned and wanted to do better. So why dwell on that deep piercing ache in your stomach?

Because hurting the people you love hurts you just as much.

Because not acknowledging your wrongs and burying the guilt only makes it fester.

“I missed you so much! I love you so much and I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t try!” you wailed, holding onto him tightly as the rest of you trembled.

“Y/N, baby, shh, honey breathe,” Jungkook tried to soothe you. Your hands were ice cold on his upper back and shoulders and he was worried you’d worked yourself up into an anxiety attack. He pet the back of your head, gently kissing your temple as he rocked the two of you as you’d collapsed onto the floor.

“Koo, m’so sorry!” you mumbled against his shoulder.

You were shaking like a leaf, you could barely hold onto him.

“Y/N, princess,” he called softly. “Please look at me, baby, look at me, hey,” he said, moving you back by your head gently. He smoothed his thumbs over your puffy, tear stained cheeks and he tilted his head and gave you a soft smile. “What’s wrong huh?”

Your eyes welled up again and Jungkook shushed you, pressing his forehead on yours. Shrinking your world down to just you and him. His warmth and strong hands cradling your neck. “Easy. Y/N, I don’t know what’s got you so worked up but you need to calm down just a bit. You’re shaking honey.”

“I-I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you sniffled pathetically, holding his wrists tightly.

“You keep saying that, what do you have to be sorry for Bug? You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, voice soft and slow.

“I left you,” you cried. “I was so worried about my own feelings and how much I didn’t like that you had a fiance that-” you hiccuped and squeezed his shoulders, trying to ground yourself. “That was everything I’m not and... and when you supposedly forgot me because of her I lost it and I fucked up... I shouldn’t have blamed you for me not being honest.”

Jungkook blinked slowly, swallowing hard as he tried to understand what you were saying to him.

“Y/N...” he said softly, brushing your hair from your face. “What are you trying to tell me, huh?”

Your stomach almost fell into the floor and your heart clenched painfully at the idea of fessing up. But you’d basically said it at this point. You say it all the time...

I love you.

So simple in theory right?

But in many cultures, tone and phrasing are everything.

But, why is it so hard to make that simple flip?

“Jungkook...”

His eyes shone in the glittering light of the morning flooding in through the bathroom.

“Jungkook I...”

His hand tightened around your waist.

“I love y-”

You didn’t even get to finish your words before his lips were covering yours. His hands holding your face as he kissed you desperately. Like he’d been craving to do it for years.

“Me too,” he gasped, moving back to kiss you again.

“Koo-mh!” you were promptly cut off.

“Shut up for a second and let me kiss you-before I either get slapped again or I take you on this bathroom floor,” he growled as he pulled you in again.

You helplessly wrapped your arms around his neck, relaxing in his hold as best you could with your heart still struggling to catch up. You still had tears on your cheeks and your knees were wobbling and sore from the tile floor.

But you’d pass out before you let him go first.

Jungkook finally managed to pull away from you for a moment. “I didn’t get slapped,” he breathed against your lips harshly.

“No... You didn’t,” you said, resting against him.

“So... what does that mean Y/N? I don’t want to make this awkward or weird but... but I can’t kiss you like that and not want more...”

With hot cheeks you tugged him back to your lips. “Me either,” you whispered, cradling his neck.

“Y/N, I really do love you... I want you to be mine,” he said, holding you by the waist.

Your eyes got big as you looked into his. They were warm, like always. He wasn’t hiding anything, he was being vulnerable. He was being himself.

Because you made it so easy for him to do.

“As long as you’re mine too,” you sighed, resting against him in exhaustion. Your body was dropping from the adrenaline rush you’d had from your near panic attack and impromptu emotional breakthrough.

“Sleepy Bug,” he chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get you back to bed and when you get up later we can talk more. But, you’re mine, Bug... And I’m yours.”

Hearing those words you fell into slumber against his warm chest, only briefly feeling the bed underneath you once more before sleep swallowed you whole.

--

Dating Jungkook was surprisingly the easiest thing you’ve ever done.

He was kind, he was loving and he was honest. It’s been a great few months. His parents both were thrilled to hear the news and fully supported the both of you.

Life was good.

You’d never felt like this before, this amount of joy and happiness suffused through your being. You were happy being best friends, but this just felt like a natural progression. Being together was always easy, almost innate in a way.

And tonight, you wanted to be together in a different way...

You and Jungkook had kept it fairly PG-13 for the most part. You both wanted to get comfortable with the new part of your relationship first before you added any intimacy. There was no rush, you had time to come together like that.

You had Yeri over one night, and chaos was inevitable.

The two of you loved to drink wine and fool around and just make merry (ruckus).

Hoseok had even joined a few times, as Yeri’s potential boyfriend. They hadn’t made anything official yet, but they’d been out several times since your night at the bar.

Currently, Yeri was cooing over pictures of Bam in your phone.

“God that damn dog is so cute,” she sighed in disdain, bigger dogs sometimes frightened her but you had been coaxing her out of that mindset with adorable pictures of Bam.

“The next one is him in those pajamas. Jungkook wanted to burn them the second I laid eyes on them,” you snorted.

“Oh my God that’s-oh... That’s not a cute dog, however it is a very nice set of lingerie Y/N~” Yeri giggled, showing you the picture she’d stumbled upon.

You in the set you’d purchased after one of these very wine drunk evenings with Yeri.

It wasn’t anything crazy. Just a navy colored babydoll with matching panties. You’d taken a few pictures of yourself in the full length mirror in your room and had admired your body in the alluring fabric.

“Ah-sorry,” you flushed, taking your phone to find the actual picture you’d been talking about.

“No apology needed, I love that color on you! Such a nice set too! What did Jungkook think, hm?” she teased.

That’s when you felt your face heat up exponentially.

“You look constipated, what’s wrong? Are you gonna puke?” she stressed, moving to grab the garbage when you shook your head.

“No no, I’m good. It’s just... We haven’t had sex yet,” you said softly. “We wanted to figure out our dynamic first before we started becoming intimate. I have barely had sex, I’m practically a virgin, and he wants it to be meaningful.”

“It’ll be meaningful because it’s you two,” Yeri said with kind eyes. “I understand wanting to make it feel important, but... You don’t need crazy expensive or lavish things to have good intimacy, although it can be fun to incorporate,” she teased.

Your heart clenched at those words and you nodded with a small smile.

“You’re right Yeri,” you said. “I think it’s something I want to talk about more in our relationship, especially lately. I think we could take that step now. Of course I don’t want to rush him or anything-”

“Y/N,” Yeri sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “That man loves you so much I’m surprised you’ve managed to keep him away from you as long as you have. I bet you, you send him a single picture of you in lingerie and you will be trapped in either this room or that fancy penthouse for three business days.”

A choked noise of shock came from you as you scrambled to respond.

“H-He’s not an animal Yeri! He-”

“Because he hasn’t been given the green light to let out the inner beast,” she said with a mischievous grin.

“That’s never a good look to see on your face,” you sighed, now it was your turn to pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance.

“I bet you two drinks at the bar next time we go, that if you send a racy picture your man will be calling within fifteen minutes to confirm your dick appointment,” she said.

“Yeri!”

“Hell, if you send them I will definitely buy the first two rounds of drinks next time,” she said. “Cause you’re too chicken to send them.”

You blanched at her, unimpressed with her childish tactics to wind you up.

Your wine addled brain was sobering, your last glass having been over an hour ago.

It was almost midnight, and Hoseok would no doubt be by soon to grab Yeri bringing your social plans for the evening to a close.

Why not?

Why not send a sexy picture to your even sexier boyfriend?

“Fine! I’ll grab my favorite set and send him a picture,” you promise.

“Fifteen minutes, set a timer.”

--

Hoseok arrived roughly half an hour later and you gave Yeri a tight squeeze before she leaned against the taller man as he guided her safely to his car. With a kind smile and wave they drove off.

You felt your phone buzz in your pajama shorts pocket and you looked and smiled to see a picture of Bam curled up on the couch with your favorite blanket snoozing happily.

Kook ❤️: he misses his mommy 🥺🥺

Y/N: how can he miss me if he’s asleep??

Kook ❤️: happens to me all the time. Miss you in my sleep. Miss you when I wake up alone, miss you when I see my dog sleeping in your blanket.

Y/N: *our

Kook ❤️: can I send a driver for you? Come stay with me tonight.

You chuckled and then sent a quick glance to your underwear drawer.

Y/N: I’m already in my pajamas

Kook ❤️: perfect, you’ll be ready for immediate cuddles when you get here

Y/N: these are new pajamas

You got up and grabbed the only other set of lingerie you had. A soft black cotton robe with a nice set of bra and panties that were a rich wine color. It seemed oddly fitting.

Without much thought you pulled them on and looked at your frame in the mirror before you heard your phone buzzing again.

Kook ❤️: new? Is that a reason to not come over??

Kook ❤️: if you’re worried bam will ruin them I’ll put him in his kennel before you get here?

Kook ❤️: baby?? Pleaseeeee

Y/N: sorry, I had to pee

Kook ❤️: please come over 🥺🥺🥺

Y/N: do you want to see?

Why was your boyfriend such a simp?

He was making seducing him so difficult.

You adored the man more than you could put into words but goodness he was persistent when he wanted something.

Kook ❤️: see what??

You tugged the robe open just a touch and revealed the deep burgundy bra that had your cleavage revealed just enough to be tantalizing.

Without giving yourself enough time to panic you snapped the picture of you on your knees in front of the mirror.

Using your last ounce of wine courage you hit send.

Timer Set: 15:00 minutes

Y/N: jpeg.9102

Seen

Oh Jesus.

What if he doesn’t like it?

You were about to scramble to cover your ass when your phone started ringing. You were so nervous you damn near launched the thing across the room in shock when you managed to answer it, you heard panting like someone was running.

“Hello?”

“Where are you?”

Jungkook’s rough voice filled your ears.

“I’m at home you weirdo, why are you-”

“You need to tell me right now if this means what I think it does because if not I don’t want to seem like an idiot... I legit ran down to my car, because if you want me there I’m coming right now. And I’m not going to let you sleep,” he growled.

Your thighs clenched at the aggressive sound from him. “I-I sent it because I wanted you to see, I-I wanted to show you I was ready,” you said, voice weak but needy.

“Then you sit on your bed and wait for me, I will be there in ten minutes-”

“Jungkook, you live almost halfway across the city it’s almost one in the morning baby-”

“Ten minutes,” he promised before hanging up.

You looked at your phone and paused your timer.

Time Remaining: 9:39 minutes

You sent a quick text to Yeri.

Y/N: Please wait to hear from me in approximately three business days...

✨Yeri✨: be safe, get that dick 👀👀👀

You went to brush your teeth and comb your hair when you heard your front door open and shut. Just as you turned around Jungkook was dropping his jacket in your bedroom as he shouldered his way into your small bathroom and pulled you in for a searing kiss.

With a soft yelp of surprise you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him kiss you with as much passion as he wanted. You returned it in kind. Jungkook wound his arms around your waist, hands gripping your robe and cupping the base of your spine as he backed you up against the counter.

“Baby,” you whispered against his lips as he pulled back for a split second to change the position of his head.

“You can’t attack me like that, no sudden provocative photos, my heart and dick almost exploded,” he said, kissing you again, the last of his sentence spoken into your own mouth.

You chuckled at his eagerness as he held you in his arms.

“Up on the counter,” he breathed, grabbing your thighs and practically dead lifting you onto the vanity and capturing your lips before your squeal could wake the entire apartment complex.

Thankfully, your apartment was at the end of the hall, and your neighbor was known to rarely be home.

But really you couldn’t care less, your boyfriend’s tongue was wicked and hot and currently working its way into your mouth. Jungkook grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him as he kissed you like it was his sole purpose in this life. Tongue swiping along yours before he nipped at your already swollen and pouty lower lip.

“Fuck... fuck I’m so hard,” he panted, resting his forehead against yours as he breathed heavily. You smoothed your hands over his shoulders and watched as they rose and fell in quick succession in time with his labored breaths.

“Yeah?” you whispered, voice stolen by his kiss.

“Baby you really have no idea,” he said, locking eyes with you as he cradled your neck. “I’m literally ready to fuck you stupid, but... But I want it to be special and-”

“Anything I do with you is special, Kook,” you said, cupping his cheek and giving him a sweet grin. “I love you.”

His eyes melted into a softer expression. “I love you too,” he said, kissing you much gentler than before, leaving sweet and soft kisses along your cheeks and planting one last firm one on your lips. “So, you want to do this?”

You nodded quickly, feeling the slickness in your panties becoming uncomfortable fast. “Yes, I want you,” you said.

Jungkook nodded and connected your lips again. “Do you want to use condoms or not?”

“No, I have the implant and I trust you,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Give me everything, baby, I want all of you.”

He connected your mouths again in a desperate and messy kiss, pulling you in and helping you off the counter before he picked you up and had you wrap your legs around his small waist. You squeaked as he held you under your ass as he navigated the short jaunt back to your bed. You held his jaw as you kissed him more, threading your fingers into his thick hair at the base of his head.

With a happy sigh he sat down on your bed and you settled your knees on either side of his thighs. Your center was placed directly above his straining cock. Your hips jolted forwards just a touch at the sensation of his denim pants rubbing against your sensitive core.

“Ngh~ Jungkook,” you whimpered, kissing along his jaw and sucking tender marks into his skin. “Want to feel you, please,” you pouted.

With a smirk he fell back, laying flat against the bed and you fell over him, hands just above his shoulders as you crouched above his frame.

“Go ahead then, you can touch me wherever you want,” he said, a smug look on his face.

You bit your lip and looked at his shirt buttons. The top few were undone, no doubt from him lounging at home. With eager hands you planted your hips right on his lap causing him to huff in momentary bliss. You loosened the buttons and tugged the fabric from his pants and managed to toss the infernal thing onto your floor to be promptly forgotten.

You smoothed your hands over his stomach and chest, smiling before connecting your lips to his skin in tentative, wet kisses.

Jungkook sighed, bringing his hand to your cheek as goosebumps rose over his skin as you placed your lips along his stomach and up to his chest. You didn’t have a lot of experience, but you just wanted to appreciate him.

Your heart hammered against your chest as you brought your lips to his throat and neck. Your hand ran up his peck and you brushed your thumb across his nipple with heat settled in your face. Jungkook, however, was eager for any and all of your affection.

“Shit... such a good girl,” he breathed, heart thrumming in his chest rapidly.

Your thoughts wandered briefly at his reaction to your thumb on his nipple, you wondered if he’d ever be into clamps-

“Baby~” Jungkook whined softly at your lack of movement. “Don’t tease me, I can’t handle it right now,” he groaned.

“C-Can I suck on them?” you asked, thumb still caressing his tender and pebbled nub.

Jungkook swallowed hard as a pretty blush rose to his cheeks, the expression on his face as he nodded at you with a furrowed brow.

Slowly, you lathed your tongue across his pec before finding his nipple. Jungkook’s hips jolted at your soft and wet tongue swirling around his sensitive skin. And the growl he let out was pure sin, causing your thighs to clench instinctively.

“You have such a sweet little mouth,” he sighed, cradling your jaw as he tossed his head back in pleasure. You moved to the other nipple, sucking and nipping softly at his flushed flesh.

“Kook,” you purred against his skin, sucking a harsh love bite into his skin right after.

His hips kicked up again at the sharp pain of your teeth, but he moaned softly at your tender licks and kisses right after. Only to nip at him once more.

“Careful baby, you keep that up and I’m not gonna last,” he panted, blowing some of his hair out of his face.

“Feels good?” you asked, unintentionally rocking your hips as you sat up.

Jungkook gripped your waist, holding you still and you felt his cock throbbing through his fucking jeans. You weren’t sure if that was possible. Maybe it was your own needy core pulsing for him.

“S-Stop wriggling, if you grind on me one more time I’m gonna rip these stupid panties off and shove my cock in your pussy now,” he snarled, eyes shut tight.

His threatening tone made you clench hard. Your panties were ruined, probably beyond salvaging.

It was for a good cause.

“Want your cock in my pussy anyways,” you smirked, ready to roll your hips against his once more. Jungkook pressed his thumbs against your lower stomach as he grit his teeth.

“Baby, I’m trying really hard not to fuck you stupid on this bed right now. I’m ready to Edward in Twilight this bed I swear to fucking god-”

You snorted at his hilarity, before shifting your hips once more. Jungkook’s eyes snapped to you and he grinned. “Be that way.”

With a squeal you felt yourself being pitched backwards. You scrambled to grab onto Jungkook to avoid being literally yeeted off your own bed.

But, with the strength of some supernatural creature he managed to catch you and almost slam you underneath him.

His biceps were toned and strong above you, his scent fresh and calming in your nose. You looked up and saw his eyes boring into your own. They were just as bright as they always have been, but there was a depth you hadn’t seen before.

The longing that he held in his eyes was intense, causing your legs to squirm under him. Jungkook hooked his fingers into your panties and looked at you with the same intensity, but raised a brow.

Do you want to stop?

You shook your head and lifted your hips to help him ease the fabric off your legs.

Your bravado was slowly draining, the look in your boyfriend's eyes disabling you for a moment. He looked starving. You watched his expression simmer into barely constrained lust. His palms were smooth on your thighs, making your legs tremble in desire. His jaw clenched tightly, lip between his teeth as he tried to keep himself from shoving inside you without any prep.

But fuck...

Your pussy already had him weak.

Sweet lips that were puffy and eager, covered in your slick and Jungkook’s cock ached at the thought of getting to go in bare. He lowered himself down between your legs to place a sweet kiss on your core. You gasped softly at the sensation before looking at him with your pretty eyes.

“You okay, Y/N? Not too much?” he asked.

“N-No you’re okay I’ve just... I haven't done much,” you breathed. Jungkook nodded slowly, moving forward to connect your lips together.

“That’s okay, you tell me what feels good and we’ll go from there, yeah?” he asked, thumbs rubbing soft circles into your thighs.

You nodded with a smile, bringing him in for another hot kiss. Jungkook moaned against your lips as he cupped your sex. “So wet for me honey,” he cooed. You tugged your shirt and bra off in quick succession, almost getting tangled in them both but Jungkook was focused on an entirely different part of you.

With hungry eyes he moved in on your core once more. You gasped when his tongue met your wetness, and he moaned in bliss when he tasted your flavor flooding his mouth. “Fuck... fuck... Y/N, baby,” he sighed, licking firmly against your pulsing cunt.

“J-Jungkook,” you hiccuped in pleasure. “Please, more...”

His eyes connected with yours briefly before he grabbed your thighs and started to eat you out like a man possessed. You’d never felt pleasure this aching and desperate. Like everything he was doing was too much and yet not enough.

Jungkook was thoroughly fucked in almost every sense of the word. His heart hammered in his chest as he ate his best friend and beautiful girlfriend out. Everything about you had him practically hypnotized. He’d never felt so turned on.

The pair of you whined and groaned as he continued to pleasure you with his devilishly sweet lips.

He moved from your entrance to your clit and alternated his pressure, causing your mind to swirl in hypersensitive pleasure. But it was... so fucking good...

“K-Kook! B-Baby! M’gonna cum! Please... please let me cum,” you cried, gripping the sheets tightly in your fists as he plunged two fingers into your entrance.

A sharp whine fell from your lips as you clamped down on his fingers while he worked you up to your peak of bliss.

“Then cum for me honey... Let me see you cum for me, wanna make you cream my face,” he growled deep in his chest.

With a glance at his face you felt your stomach clench hard due to his eagerness. You were worried he’d not be interested in this part of sex, but you loved him so much you weren’t honestly concerned about not enjoying sex with him.

However, just like always, Jungkook surprised you.

He almost seemed to get off on your pleasure, it wasn’t a chore to work you up like you’d worried about. And with the way he was rutting against the mattress you were wondering who was enjoying it more to be honest.

Then, he hooked his fingers up, pushing against your sweet spot.

After being held on the edge for so long... you were thrown off the cliff into your orgasm.

“Fuck! Jungkook! Fuck, fuck!”

You could hardly think of words to express your pleasure, let alone anything coherent.

Jungkook was encouraging you softly as he eased you through your pleasure. “My good girl, give it to me baby,” he purred, cleaning your center softly as you came down from your peak.

“Holy shit,” you panted, quickly bringing him up from your center to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, mingling the flavor of you with his own distinct taste.

“You look so fucking pretty when you cum baby, I want to see you do it over and over again,” he groaned, cradling your face while you exchanged hot kisses.

After a while you started to run your hands down his stomach and to the waistband of his pants. He separated your kiss to look at you with a soft expression. “Want me?” he asked, his thumb running across your cheek with tender eyes.

You gave him a sweet smile and kissed him again. “Yes Jungkook,” you breathed against his lips. “I’m yours...”

He didn’t need any more encouragement from you, pulling his jeans off quickly and tossing them on the floor before you carefully put your hand inside his boxers. You could feel your hearts beating wildly inside your chests. Jungkook looked at you with hunger but love mixed in his eyes.

You felt yourself become more and more confident when you touched him, and also in being touched. It can be a hard thing to share your body with a person. But with Jungkook, everything has always been so natural and easy.

This was proving to be no different.

His hand fell over yours and gently guided you to squeeze and apply gentle pressure to his aching cock. His head tipped back as he let out soft puffs of air.

“F-Fuck, please Y/N, I’m aching baby, I need to put it in you,” he whined.

The sound of his pleading did something to you, causing more slick to leak from your core. To be wanting in such a deep way had your heart ready to fly away if your ribcage wasn’t there to stop it.

“Then put it in, want you,” you said, cheeks hot from all the intensity of your exchange.

Jungkook pushed his boxers off, revealing his cock to you and causing your eyes to widen. He wasn’t extremely massive. But he was definitely larger than the previous dick you’d experimented with. He led your hand to him, gently stroking his length with your soft hand and he sighed in pleasure.

“Feels so good baby, so hard for you,” he said, his eyebrow furrowed as he tried desperately to keep his composure.

You couldn’t believe you were here in this moment. With the person you loved more than anything, ready to share the last part of yourself with him. It made you emotional for a moment.

“Kiss me,” you pleaded.

Jungkook’s ears perked at your weaker tone, but when he saw the look in your eyes he knew you were just emotional. He gave you a small but sweet smile.

“Of course, Y/N, love kissing you,” he purred, placing little pecks around your shoulders and neck. Finally connecting your lips in a hot kiss.

His hand moved away from yours but you kept your hand on his cock and gave him a few tentative tugs. Jungkook bucked his hips forwards at the sensation rising up his spine and flooding his lower stomach. He’d been hard for so long he was worried he wasn’t going to last long. But something told him no matter the time, this was going to be special.

Just because it was you two.

“Okay, okay I’m ready baby,” you said.

Jungkook nodded, adjusting the two of you on the bed. He put a pillow behind your head and lifted your leg into the hook of one of his elbows.

He ran his cock against your slick folds to test your wetness, and to no surprise you were still soaked.

“Good baby, so wet for me... fuck,” he breathed. “Deep breath, relax for me Y/N, if it hurts just tell me, okay?”

You nodded, hand settling on his biceps. Jungkook gave you one more look for reassurance but you squeezed his arms in confirmation before he pushed in slowly.

A gasp ripped from your throat as he entered you. You breathed slowly and deeply as he carefully seated himself inside you. You gripped his shoulders and pulled him in for another kiss when he finally slid home.

He kissed you softly, giving tender nips and wet pecks to your neck and jaw.

“Good girl, fucking so hot and wet on my cock... fuck-fuck Y/N,” he moaned into your neck.

You didn’t even have words to describe how good he felt. It was as if this was always meant to happen, like you and him were always going to end up here at this moment.

“Kook~” you mewled, biting your lip as he gave you a moment to adjust.

“Does it hurt, baby?” he asked, smoothing his thumb over your cheek.

“N-No... just full!” you whined, the pleasure of him being inside of you finally settling in. “You can move baby, please fuck me...”

Jungkook didn’t need to be told twice, starting an easy rhythm that had the two of you sighing in bliss. With a deft movement Jungkook hooked both of your knees around the crook of his elbows as he started to build a steady pace that had your stomach clenching in pleasure.

“So good baby, so good,” he panted, rolling his hips against yours with purpose.

You moved your hands down to his lower stomach as he steadily quickened his thrusts inside of you. With needy whines you let him guide you through this experience. His eyes were locked on yours while he drove home inside you each time.

“Kook! Fuck,” you cried, head falling back against the pillow.

“Right here Y/N,” he called softly, his voice slightly breathless now that he’d been fucking you. “Fuck... you’re soaking my cock baby. Look so pretty letting me fuck you like this.”

He adjusted your legs so you were laying to one side, your legs pressed together as he held your hips to thrust into you faster.

“F-Fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer,” he grit his teeth.

The new position had you speechless.

He felt so thick inside you, pounding against your walls as more and more slick leaked from you. You could feel it on your legs. And the deep throbbing ache inside you was looming over your head as he continued to fuck you senseless.

“Me too!” you whined, reaching for his wrists as he kept his brutal pace on you.

“Gonna cum for me again? Please cum for me baby, need to see you,” he begged, panting harshly at the sheer need swirling in his stomach. “Gonna let me cum inside? Let me fill up your sweet cunt baby?”

You nodded, a bobble head effect to your features as you watched him with watery eyes. The pleasure was rushing up your neck and seemingly scrambling what was left of the brains he hadn’t fucked out of you yet.

“Inside, Jungkook! Need it!” you sobbed, pleasure suffusing every ounce of you as you felt yourself crash over the edge into another-intense-orgasm.

Jungkook wasn’t far behind you, the hot rush of euphoria flooding his spine as he came hard inside of you. He rutted a few more times while growling deep in his throat. You felt so good on his cock and he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have you this way.

Especially after everything you’d been through together.

But that’s what made it even better in his mind.

He wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here.

You both let your breaths even out until he was pulling from your core slowly, watching with lustful eyes as his cum slowly dribbled from your puffy pussy.

Jungkook kissed you then, surprisingly soft and tender as he felt his heart beat even out into the gentle flutter it usually was with you around. He smiled against your lips as you kissed him back.

“I love you so much, Y/N, more than anything...” he whispered.

“I love you too, Jungkook,” you said.

“You’re my best friend, and the best girlfriend, you make me so happy...” he trailed off.

Usually Jungkook was affectionate, but sometimes he got this emotional spurt where he just gushed about how lucky he was. And how much he loved you.

It was sweet and endearing, and you were similarly affected.

“You’re my best friend too. And the best boyfriend,” you said, a cheeky smile working its way onto your face.

Jungkook’s features lit up at your statement. He leaned down once more, pulling you close as the pair of you kissed again.

The night was dragging on, but inside your little apartment you knew that Jungkook would always choose you.

And you would choose him.

Always.

[autumn-breeze0]

Puhleasee the bffs to lovers trope is obviously done best by Marylene duh

[cjblthoughts]

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12 episodes, Thai, released in 2019

HIStory4: Close To You

[Side Pairing] two roommates, colleagues and long time friends fake date to gain the attention of a crush. CW: rape/sexual assault, main couple is step-sibling incest.

Watch on Viki

10 episodes, Taiwanese, released in 2021

Do you have any other recs? Or favorites from this list?

[notllorstel]

making the eldest trolls siblings interact

[harrywavycurly]

I just need the “oh fuck..” situation for when Harry realizes he’s in love with his bff

Hiii babes!! I love prompts like this because honestly it could be the tiniest thing that just makes him pause and go “that’s odd…why do I feel like this?” so I hope you enjoy this little blurby thingy!💖

Harry is distracted, he can’t seem to focus on anything other than the softness of your hand that’s currently in his as the two of you stand at the bar of one of your favorite restaurants. His mind becomes a revolving door of questions like has your hand always felt this nice in his or if it’s just a new hand cream you’re trying out that’s making him take notice of how soft it is? The most important question floating around in his head and the one he isn’t even sure how to answer is why does the simple act of holding your hand, something he’s done countless times before, have his heart racing and his mind all fuzzy?

He isn’t sure how long the two of you have been standing there but what he does know is about two seconds ago you started messing with the ring on his index finger, twirling it around with your thumb and he can’t help but take notice just how small your hand looks in his and he doesn’t know why that makes a smile creep onto his face. He looks down briefly and catches you already looking up at him and he has to look away before his cheeks get the chance to flush and you ask him what’s wrong because he’s not entirely sure he can form complete sentences at the moment if he’s being honest with himself.

You smile at the bartender as he slides your drink towards you and Harry is caught off guard at how much he doesn’t like the feeling of you letting go of his hand so you can pick your drink up. He feels the corners of his mouth droop into a frown as you take half a step away from him to grab a napkin to place around the glass so it’s not too cold in your hand and Harry feels extremely aware just how far away you are from him and he doesn’t like it at all. When you turn around so you’re facing him with a grin as your eyes find his that’s when he feels them, the butterflies in his tummy. It’s as if he’s seeing you for the first time but the only difference is this time he isn’t looking at you as a stranger that seems like someone he’d like to get to know more, this time he’s looking at you like you’re the one he’s secretly been writing all his love songs about and he’s not sure how he hasn’t realized it sooner. He’s in love with you.

[buckrecs]

i wanted to request hockey player!bucky au or like any kinda sport but preferably hockey or baseball because i’ve only read like 3 fics about that AU but im obsessed with it

Athlete!Bucky

masterlist | req masterlist

I didn’t put any boxer bucky fics btw ! thinking about making a list just for it..

ONESHOT

My Everyday by @pellucid-constellations

Bucky Barnes was aggressive, annoying, and—worst of all—a hockey player. Not your type. At all. But, unfortunately, your roommate.

Touchdown by @buckyseternal

you decide to reward your boyfriend after he scores the winning touchdown.

A Little Superstitious by @jadedvibes

The school's football team needs a win and a certain blue-eyed player could use a kiss for good luck to help make that happen.

hail mary by @barnesafterglow

when you start sneaking around with your brother's best friend, it's only a matter of time until you get caught

Don’t End Today by @subwaysurf45

The day that you happily upgraded you from tutor to girlfriend all because of a few nice words.

Flirting and Football by @lovelybarnes

Bucky barnes and a college au where reader is the only one who isn’t interested in him basically

Anger Issues by @hailhydra920

You’re the only one who can calm Bucky down.

fair catch by @endless-summer-soldier

Y/N joins the football team to prove a point and the last thing Bucky expected out of the season was to fall for the new kicker

SERIES

For the Love of the Game by @pellucid-constellations

Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it.

No Such Thing by @sanguineterrain

You’ve been assigned to write a column for your school paper on the team’s spectacular running back. You don’t care very much for your university’s football team; you just can’t understand the hype, okay? Turns out your distaste for football bigheads was exactly on point: James Barnes is insufferable.

Out Of Bounds by @foreverindreamlandd

The chaos fic that was supposed to be a one shot inspired by me binge-watching Ted Lasso and now there’s a masterlist lmao. Enjoy the ride!

ice ice baby by @endless-summer-soldier

Bucky is a college hockey player, Y/N is a figure skater without a partner. What's happens when these two opposites start sharing the ice...

Quarterback!Bucky x Assistant!Reader by @angrythingstarlight

ice ice baby by @endless-summer-soldier

Bucky is a college hockey player, Y/N is a figure skater without a partner. What's happens when these two opposites start sharing the ice...

[kryptonian-bat-thing]

platonic kisses will be the death of me lol

[ingravinoveritas]

Have you seen this? I head "Michael got excited about being connected through matching bracelets" and immediately thought that you're going to have some thoughts.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeQE7KSk/

Oh my god. No, I hadn't seen this video until now, but thank you SO much for sending it to me! I'll post a clip of the most pertinent part about what Michael said below, but I urge folks to check out the whole thing on Tiktok, as this is the woman who made the bracelets we saw David wearing at the Proud Nerd Con last weekend:

My first immediate reaction after seeing/hearing this was utter disbelief and delight, coupled with a complete lack of surprise because...Michael. If there is anyone who could channel "15-year-old girl during the last week of summer camp" energy, it is Michael. It's also terribly bittersweet and yet somehow fitting knowing that we're nearing the end of Michael's time in London--which I think we can now refer to as Shennant Summer, at least in Australia, though the last six months were technically the winter here.

(My second thought was that I feel like we're a hell of a lot closer than ever before to my imaginings of Michael and David getting complementing tattoos somehow manifesting into reality...)

But...my god. I don't think any of us could picture Michael and David not being connected in some way, even if/when they're not in the same city, and yet the thought of Michael wanting to have some tangible reminder of David with him always is doing things to my heart that may necessitate the use of defibrillators. I feel like this is some kind of reverse Parent Trap situation where Michael is going to "accidentally" pack one of the Tennant kids in his suitcase, which will mean David will have to go to Wales to collect his wayward offspring, and then the next thing you know they're on a yacht drinking Champagne while "I Love You (For Sentimental Reasons)" plays in the background.

I think what is so incredible to me is that we know how soft (in the best way possible) Michael is, but to know that he's specifically gotten that way over David--that he holds David in that deep heart space--is achingly beautiful. I know a lot of folks will say that this is giving all of the "friendship bracelet" and "besties" vibes, but I really don't think it's much of a stretch to think that it could be something more. Everything about this just feels so romantic at this point that, in my opinion, it would seem almost ludicrous to not consider it a possibility. Because right now, neither Michael nor David appear to be holding back, and I'm so here for it.

Thank you again so much for sending this my way. I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks, so please feel free to add your thoughts in the comments. Thanks for writing in! x

[fixated-dark-king]

Sooo, I had the amazing experience of attending a panel C.S. Pacat was part of during the Sydney Writers’ Festival on 25th May 2024. The panel was called “Creating a Monster” (with two other YA authors).

And finally a week later (because adult-ing is hard), I had time to actually go through my notes and write up some of the fascccccinating things Pacat had to say about: monsterous heroes, and villains, and enemies-to-lovers deliciousness, and queer identity!

I didn’t want to forget some of the interesting things said in this panel and thought others might be interested in hearing about them too? Please indulge the splurge. :)

(Please note that all bold headers are just my thematic summary of each section for people to jump to, not the actual question asked.)

WHAT APPEALS ABOUT ‘THE MONSTROUS’ TO PACAT:

From a technical writing standpoint, the ‘Monstrous’ is appealing because a villain will often do an act and the hero reacts to that. It gives unconscious clues to the reader that when the villain turns up, something exciting is going to happen. In that sense, villainous characters have a special sort of ever-present attention given to them (possibly because human nature is to always keep one eye on the dangerous thing that could harm you).

On a personal level: A) When queer characters are awesome but also ‘Monstrous’, Pacat says it can feel really ‘electric’ and empowering to reclaim/allow yourself to embrace the monster role that you’ve been told you fit into by society. Like in Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles where queer people are allowed to be beautiful/glittering & powerful & witty & have existential conversations about good and evil while fitting under the Monstrous label. Like heck yeh, that’s cool. And B) as an author, you can feel a ‘minority pressure’ to have characters be Good all the time and be the perfect ambassador for that minority, but sometimes you just want to be a vampire and take over the world, you know?

THE EXISTENCE OF ‘PROTAGONIST-CENTRED MORALITY’ WITHIN THE DARK RISE BOOKS:

When pondering whether it is hard as a writer to convince readers that a Monstrous protagonist is a likeable character, Pacat pointed out that the funny thing is that the question ‘How am I going to make readers like this monster?’ never really ends up being an issue because people actually really like monsters! The thing you might not expect is that the struggle is actually: ‘How am I going to make these readers who are barracking for the protagonist feel that this ‘monster’ is actually monstrous?’

Pacat explained that when a protagonist is also a monster, it brings into play something called ‘Protagonist-Centric Morality’ -- where you bond with that protagonist and want the best for them etc, so much that it can obscure when the protagonist is actually doing something bad. Pacat mentioned that he has found the Protag-Centric Morality fairly striking in the case of the Dark Rise books because people have said to him things like: ‘The Dark King Did Nothing Wrong Ever In His Whole Life’ and Pacat questioned whether the moral centre of the story was landing somewhere different than intended. He was curious whether the other authors had experienced that with their ‘monstrous’ protagonists too.

IF A HERO IS ALSO MONSTROUS, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DIFFERENTIATE THAT FROM THE VILLIAN? When pondering over the distinction between a Monstrous Hero and a Villain, Pacat shared some thoughts from his lived experience. He said the times when he has felt most threatened by the ‘Monstrous’ is when that person isn’t clearly identifiable to others around you; where there isn’t a shared understanding between everyone that ‘yes, that person is a monster’. Extending from that, the Truly Monstrous is when that person has some kind of control over you and control over the narrative as well; if the monster is the one telling the story but casting you as the monster. Essentially gaslighting via ‘narrative control’.

ENEMIES TO LOVERS TROPE:

This is Pacat’s absolute favourite romantic trope. And he elaborated that he doesn’t mean that in the sense of ‘these characters sort of don’t like each other’, but rather to the point where two characters really hate each other and for a very good reason. He likes when a path between two characters feels IMPOSSIBLE to overcome.

This trope was first explored in the Captive Prince trilogy and Pacat loved it so much he just had to use it again for the Dark Rise trilogy. The planning behind it for CaPri was brainstorming: ‘What is the worst thing I could think to use?’ (Answer: Killing a character’s brother, which lands the bereaved character into a set of hellish circumstances.) But that meant when Pacat decided to use it again for DR, he had to extend that to: ‘Now I need to think of something EVEN WORSE THAN THAT (CaPri)’ in order to separate the main characters. So Pacat had to spend ages thinking about what could be the absolute worst thing to use this time -- and he hopes that he came up with something that is ‘truly, truly way worse.’ Which essentially had everyone, including the moderator, laughing loudly in fear. XD

WILL KEMPEN: FOUND FAMILY & THE LONELINESS OF INAUTHENTICITY:

Pacat spent a lot of time trying to develop a really meaningful platonic friendship between Will and Violet. It meant a lot to see a friendship like that reflected on page for Pacat because some of the most important friendships of his life were across gender lines. The reception to Will and Violet has been so pleasantly surprising, so Pacat supposed he wasn’t the only one with a hunger for that kind of friendship within the romantasy genre.

Pacat also reflected on Will’s complex relationship with his Found Family -- that having the support of a Found Family can be so essential, but in Will’s case that lifeline is undermined by secrecy, turning that Found Family into a different kind of loneliness. Because the thing is: if something so immense happens to you that you feel you can’t talk about, or you feel some way about yourself but think you can’t share that with others, it means you can’t really be your authentic self. But if you’re not being you’re authentic self, who are your friends friends with? They can’t be friends with the true You; they can only be friends with a facade/with a performance. So as long as Will is scared to show his true self and remains hiding himself away from even his friends, he will be alone. It’s a hard step to take. (Note from me: so heavvvvy but poignant.)

NOT DR-RELATED, BUT PACAT’S FAV MONSTERS FROM POPULAR FICTION: Pacat was so excited to namedrop his favourite monsters from popular fiction, he volunteered to go first LOL. The answers: 'The Brat Prince' Lestat (Lestat has been on his mind a lot recently because the AMC TV portrayal captures Lestat so well & has completely rejuvenated Pacat’s 12 year-old love of vampires. Total mood); serial killers such as in the Ripley series; and simply: American Psycho.

Great panel, right? Now it’s Europe’s turn!

[x-salem-x]

mike and will in their ghostbusters outfits <33 i love them

[gurugirl]

Mixed Signals*

Summary: You and Harry are best friends and there's no way he'd ever like you as more. Right?

A/n: best friends to lovers & mutual pining goodness 9.5k words

Warning: Some angst, some fluff, and some smut

You’ve known one another since you were 12. Harry’s always been cute. Really cute. It was hard to ignore your crush some days but most of the time you had no problem teasing one another, making fun of the other, and both pretending to not like each other. It was complicated having feelings for your best friend.

Then as you got older you were convinced he liked you back, but he got a girlfriend during sophomore year of college and so that had to be wrong. He obviously wouldn't choose another girl to kiss and have sex with if he liked you. You were a built-in sure thing, yet he went with the other choice.

Today you and Harry had gone to the amusement park together. You split a funnel cake with powdery sugar, you rode a few rides together, held hands as you ran through the rain back to your car and now here you were, in your bedroom at your parent’s house. The storm was heavy and the rain was falling hard and fast. Your parents were asleep and so you and Harry decided he would stay the night. It felt a little awkward for him to stay over because he hadn’t since he started dating Birdie six months ago.

But he’d slept over and in your bed plenty of times before Birdie. Nothing ever really happened. Well, except for the one time.

6 months prior

You’d woken up when you felt Harry moving in a rhythm that didn’t match up with your sleepy brain, so you turned and reached out for him to stop moving but you pressed your hand right over the skin on his hard penis, which he was pumping in his palm. He had been masturbating and was being really quiet, not making much movement at first. But once it started feeling really good and his balls squeezed as he was just about to come, he was shaking the bed a bit with his faster, more meaningful pace and it caused you to wake.

You both gasped the moment your hand came into contact with his, quite sizable dick. You were shocked first of all that it was sitting right there, just out and bare and his hand was clenched around it but also because of the thickness of him. You hadn’t realized. You knew what this was. He’d been masturbating and you looked up into his eyes, not wanting to look away from his pretty erection.

Harry was looking at you, suspended in motion. He intended on not waking you. Originally he was going to get up and go to the bathroom but then after he rubbed over himself he thickened up so fast, he thought maybe it would only take a couple of minutes. He was so horny and getting up from the bed would mean he’d have to walk 30 feet, open and close doors, move his limbs, and then he’d be standing while he wanked in the bathroom. It was a lot of effort, all that. This would have been a quick pop and then he could wipe up with the tissues sitting on the bedside table next to him. He’d never even have to get up.

He should have used better judgment looking back on it now, with your pretty eyes on his and his hand wrapped around his dick. And he saw the way you looked at his cock. Your eyes widened, lips parted. You paused for a bit as you slowly moved your hand away. It was almost like you wanted to keep your fingers on his solid smooth shaft. Warm. Long. Twitching as he was just interrupted from his orgasm.

So when you smiled at him and moved your own fingers down your long t-shirt and slipped them into your knickers Harry released the breath he was holding. You rubbed over yourself, fingers hidden by the fabric over them, and Harry started up his movements again.

You watched as he jerked his cock in a cadence that was the stencil for your own movements.

“C…can I see? Too?” Harry asked as he moved his free hand up to the band of your panties, still pumping himself.

You nodded at him and stopped your fingers for a moment as you pulled your panties down to your thighs. Then you quickly got back to work.

The sharp inhale of breath from Harry when he saw your pussy for the first time was not missed by you.

You spread yourself a little as you rubbed your clit to allow maximum friction. You and Harry were both rubbing your genitalia, masturbating with panting breaths right next to each other. You knew you’d regret this later but your tired/horny brain didn’t mind too much at the moment. Seeing Harry’s fingers wrap around himself as he fucked into his hand was so hot. And your little wet pussy in his view, arousal being pushed around over your clit, slushy sounds coming from you, it was his end.

You both came quickly, your eyes on one another, the scene was lewd and naughty. Harry ejaculated over his torso and his face scrunched, mouth wide open, breathing hard with one deep groan into the room.

Just the look on his face had you coming. It burst hotly from your veins as you watched his orgasming expression and you whimpered and moaned and when Harry heard you coming he opened his eyes to see for himself. He didn’t want to miss it.

After you both cleaned yourselves with the tissues on the bedside table, all in silence, you laid back into your pillow and Harry pulled the sheets back over his body. And it was never brought up again.

But that was just once. Before his girlfriend came into the picture, well, before they were “official” anyway. Which is probably why it was never brought up. And now he and Birdie were together, well, certainly nothing would be happening.

You both got into bed, joking around like always as you clicked your tv on so you could watch something for a bit. Neither of you was tired yet, you’d both admitted.

Harry slid into the bed next to you. You had your back against the wall and sat with your legs pointed toward the tv on the opposite wall. You’d stuffed pillows and blankets all around, both cozied in. But Harry was close and you were very aware of his proximity. Even with all the blankets and pillows, he’d wiggled in right next to you and his bony knee was dug into your low thigh. Burning, sizzling your flesh, and shooting up your skin directly to your core. You were so attracted to him, and it was moments like these that you hated it. Because he definitely didn’t feel the heat of proximity, his heart didn’t pummel his ribs in his chest, his tummy didn’t send out butterflies into his groin and make him drip with arousal as it did you.

You bit your lip and tried to keep your attention on the tv, or at least you tried to feign interest. Because you couldn’t pay attention to anything but the person sitting next to you. His looming presence. He was leaning toward you, his arm nearly pressed into yours, but just an inch short. It made the hair on your skin raise. Your throat felt dry.

Pay attention to the tv.

Then Harry chuckled and you turned to look at him, "What?"

"You. What're so you stiff for? Look like you're uncomfortable or something. This show's not that good, Y/n."

You forced a smile and knew you were red in the face. Your hormones were going nuts. Any time you were around him lately they were. You couldn't help it. You tried stopping the way you were attracted to him, the way you felt about him beyond just the attraction, the way it stung that he'd never choose you. But ever since that night when you masturbated together, the view of his cock in his hand had been carved into your brain, a permanent fixture and you had a hard time not thinking of him in that way.

"Oh just... I think I just need to..." you scooted around and moved away from him a bit. It helped you breathe. You acted like you were just trying to get yourself more comfortable when you lifted the blanket and pulled at it, to untuck it from your bottom, but the blanket wasn't really that tucked in so when you pulled you gave it too much muscle and the force caused your arm to fly up and you hit Harry in the chin.

"Ooomff!" He reached up and grabbed at his face and backed away from you.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Let me see!" You got onto your knees and pushed Harry back, as you leaned over him to assess the damage. You'd whacked him good, "Does it hurt? Do you need ice? I'm so sorry, Harry!"

Harry just laughed and grabbed your hips, flipping you down to the bed, tackling you over the pillows, and holding you down, his hands pinning your upper arms down as he straddled you. You squealed and laughed at the sudden move.

Then Harry released your arms and brought his fingers down over your ribs and started to tickle your sides. You squirmed and kicked as much as you could and tried pushing his weight off of you but Harry was heavy and strong. Always freakishly strong.

"Oh no! Does that tickle? What 'bout here? Right here?" He continued his fingers over your shirt-covered ribs when you realized, between blushing and laughing from being tickled, that you'd taken your bra off because you two were settling in to go to bed anyway. It was a bit of a habit to remove your bra before bed.

And the reason why you realized it was because Harry suddenly slowed his movements and you opened your eyes to look up at him and saw the way his eyes were taking in the braless tits, with hard nipples poking through the t-shirt on the girl he was just tickling and it had you embarrassed.

You pushed at him to make him move off and he did. Silently. He didn’t say anything about it, just moved back to his spot on the wall and fixed his eyes on the tv.

You felt your face heat up and wished you could just disappear. Sink into the blankets and never come back up. He was obviously grossed out by your braless breasts. You swallowed the lump down your throat and tried to ignore how it made you feel that he reacted the way he did. Obvious disgust. And now? He can’t even look at you.

You both stared at the tv screen in silence. You went over in your head how you should apologize to him but the longer the moment had passed the less it seemed to matter. The damage was done. You felt nauseated.

Harry had tickled you plenty of times. In fact, he tickled you just about any time you were alone together and joking around and even in front of Birdie a time or two. Though you could tell Birdie was not a fan of him tickling you based on the scowl you’d receive when Harry would finally peel himself away from you. You loved it when he touched you, though. It felt like the only time it was okay to let him put his hands all over you and even though you truly were very ticklish, it turned you on just having his digits digging into your ribs or your tummy. But you wouldn’t ever tell him that. And you realized that if you had a boyfriend you wouldn’t want him tickling another girl that way either.

His voice made you jump as you were caught in a state of self-loathing and disappointment while trying to push down the reaction your body automatically had after he touched you.

“Y’hear me?” His head was leaned back to the wall as he was looking at you.

“Oh. No, I didn’t. Sorry.” Another thing to apologize for.

“Said that maybe we shouldn’t tell Birdie I’m staying the night. She wouldn’t like it.”

You nodded. Of course not. Wouldn’t want your girlfriend to know you're staying the night with your dog of a best friend. You put your gaze back to the tv and tried to brush off your upset. It was no use.

And suddenly his hand was on your wrist and he was leaning forward to get your attention, “Hey. Look at me. Are you okay?”

You turned your face to look at his handsome one and just shrugged, “Yeah. I’m fine. Why?”

“Cause you got pretty quiet after I tickled you. Did I do something wrong?” He seemed sincerely concerned.

You looked down at the blanket over your lap, “No. of course, you didn’t. Just felt embarrassed.”

Harry’s hand at your wrist tightened a touch, “Can you please look at me?”

You lifted your head again to look at him.

“There. Now, why did you feel embarrassed?” His kind eyes were always so entrancing.

“Uh… well, because I forgot I took my bra off and that was… well, it’s gross. I’m sorry.” You tried looking back down at your lap but Harry shifted and moved his hand from your wrist to your chin and gently tipped your face toward him so you had to look at him.

“What’s gross? Nothing gross has happened here tonight. And you shouldn’t be embarrassed. S’just boobs," Harry laughed his words as he spoke.

You nodded but kept silent. Yeah, just boobs. Ugly ones attached to your ugly friend, nothing to get worked up over.

Harry kept his eyes on yours for a little longer than he normally would and you swear you saw him look down at your lips and then slowly back up to your eyes. It had you feeling warm and confused. There was a time you thought he liked you but then he asked Birdie out and she was everything you were not. You two couldn’t have been more opposite. And that was all you needed to know to see he probably never liked you like that.

But this look, this gaze had your heart racing. You'd seen it before.

“Pretty.” He said it in nearly a whisper. A quiet statement that might not have been meant for your ears but you heard him. And he was looking at you as he said it, more to himself than to you.

You stitched your brows together and shook your head. No, that's unlikely that he'd said that. You huffed a laugh and tried to turn your face away but Harry's hand kept a loose grip on your chin, turning you back to face him.

"You're pretty. Very. It's why I think we shouldn't tell Birdie. Because she thinks I like you," Harry's words had you utterly confused. You're pretty, he says, but also, he doesn't want Birdie to know... it didn't make sense what he was saying.

"Right. But of course, you don't like me like that. So..." you looked down, and moved your eyes off of his beautiful ones while he still held your chin.

"I do. But... we're friends and... I guess that makes this complicated," he released your chin and you turned your head away. You knew it was a lie. He was just trying to make you feel good. Soften the blow of why he would never choose you.

"That's okay. I get it, Harry," you swallowed the lump in your throat and blinked your tears back. You would not allow yourself to cry in front of him about this. It was silly.

Harry sighed and from your peripheral could see him lean back to the wall where he turned to face toward the TV.

It was silent like that for a bit. No words, no movements. You were feeling quite sad and confused, but mostly sad.

You don't know how long you two stared at the TV in silence. The dark room was lit up with the TV screen and the volume was low so as not to wake your parents.

"So that's it? I get nothing from you?" Harry spoke quietly. You turned to look at him as he kept his gaze on the TV. His jaw was clenched.

"What do you mean?" You were so confused about everything that he'd said. Now, this?

Harry slowly turned his head toward you and he looked upset. He had a frown line between his brows as he spoke, "I just told you that I liked you and that I think you're pretty. You gave me nothing. You never give me anything. I've been flirting with you and dropping hints for years. I get nothing from you but jokes and you just brush me off every time." He sounded mad.

You blinked in your confusion and frowned, "What? What do you mean? Dropping hints? Harry, you have a whole girlfriend who is my complete opposite. I don't understand what you mean."

Harry shook his head and kept a look of disdain over his features, "You're always acting so clueless. We flirt and you brush it off. Remember when we... you know, you saw me that night and we both... did that mean nothing?"

You huffed and scowled, "Obviously it did but then you went and asked Birdie to be your girlfriend the very next week. What was I supposed to do? Beg you to not go out with her?" You had raised your voice slightly.

Harry let out a scoff, "I wanted you to tell me you liked me, Y/n. You never said anything about it again after that. The next morning when I tried bringing it up you made some joke about it. How it was gross. So, yeah, I tried to move the fuck on with a girl who I know for sure likes me."

You thought back to that morning after. You felt like he was not serious when he brought it up. It seemed like he was joking about it himself so you went with that vibe and brushed him off. But now he was here he was mad about it somehow.

"I don't know what to think Harry. You're confusing me."

Harry shuffled on the bed and turned toward you, his face still set in a serious expression, "Okay. Fair enough. I guess I should just…” he sat for a moment as he looked at you, his jaw clenched, “I like you. I would have liked to have asked you to be my girlfriend. Not Birdie. Does that clear up your confusion?" He looked down at you with his brows raised before continuing, "But you never could tell me what you felt for me. Every single time I tried to talk to you about it you laughed it off. So what was I supposed to do?" Harry laughed and shifted again, "You always give me mixed signals, Y/n. I see the way you look at me, and sometimes the way you flirt with me is not just a friendly flirt. And that night when we masturbated together... well that was something. But you're too scared to let me like you so you pretend there's nothing here. So that's why I have a girlfriend who's not you."

You were stunned. You couldn't look him in the eyes or breathe or move. You had to be dreaming but you also knew you weren't. You felt ashamed and disappointed in yourself because he was right. He'd given you a lot more than you'd ever given him and now it was probably too late.

You returned your gaze to his and soften your features as you pushed your nerves down to tell him the truth once and for all, "I'm sorry. You're right. I..." you swallowed to wet your dry throat and felt your nerves bubble over as you pushed them down to finally spit it out, "I like you. I have for a long time. I just... I didn't think you really would like me that way."

Harry's stern expression with the frown line softened as you spoke but then he shook his head, "Fuck that. I have tried to show you. Don't put the blame on me here - saying I wouldn't like you like that. What's that mean? That's bullshit and you know it."

You licked your lips and nodded. It was bullshit. You were just a coward, "Sorry."

Harry sighed and groaned, "Stop. I don't want to hear sorry. Do you have feelings for me? As more than just friends, Y/n. I need to know. It feels like you do but you keep pushing me away. I just need to know so I know what to do here."

You smushed your face up in confusion again, "What to do?"

Harry laughed in frustration and shook his head, "Answer the question."

You both stared at one another, the proximity was causing you to ache again. He'd put his hair in a bun before you got into bed because his hair had gotten long and for some reason, you found him even more attractive than when he had it down. His cheekbones were gorgeous. His features were perfectly symmetrical and handsome. There was no way he'd actually be into you. But he just said he was. You had to tell him the truth.

"I do have feelings for you, Harry. Um... deep feelings and I have for a long time. I like you a lot," you looked down and took a deep breath. You don't know why it was so hard to say but now that you had you felt your entire body tingle with embarrassment.

Harry was silent for a bit. It had you worried. You'd already struggled to tell him that you liked him and now he was quiet. You looked up at his face and Harry had his lips pursed to the side in thought. His light green eyes were on your face.

"Is that what you wanted to hear? What? Now I've said it and that's it?" You crossed your arms over your chest and Harry rolled his eyes.

"God, you're so frustrating. I just wanted a moment to bask in the news you'd just given me. Wanted a moment to soak it in." His expression became playful, a lopsided grin took over his features, and his dimples appeared. You smiled back at him and looked down at your lap.

"You like me enough to be my girlfriend?" He raised his brows at you and tilted his chin upward.

You parted your lips, "Uh... yeah. But you already have a girlfriend so..." you narrowed your eyes at him.

Harry let out a breath in disbelief, "Shut up. You have to stop acting like you wouldn't jump my bones this very second if I asked you to," he smiled as he spoke and you shoved at his arm.

"Would not! Harry, you have a girlfriend. You know I'd never do that."

Harry chuckled, "But you would be my girlfriend if I broke up with Birdie?"

You felt like you'd pass out. Was this happening? Harry was the only guy you'd ever felt anything for and he was gorgeous, fun, and your best friend. And now he was asking you this? Your answer was automatic, "Yes."

Harry's grin widened as he lifted his bum and pulled his cell phone from his back pocket. You watched him pull up his messages and bring up Birdie's contact.

It was pretty late, nearing midnight. Birdie had known that you and Harry had gone to the amusement park together and you saw the messages from her that he'd not yet answered.

From Birdie: I thought you were coming over after?

From Birdie: Are you with her still?

Harry typed in his message quickly and hit send.

To Birdie: Yes. I'm with her. Sorry about doing this over text but it's late. I think we should break up. Have felt this way for a while. We'll talk about it tomorrow and I’ll explain.

You stared down at the phone as he locked the screen and put it face down on the bed.

Your heart was pounding in your chest when you looked up at Harry with new eyes. This all felt like a dream.

"There. I'm single now. Wanna go out with me, Y/n?" His smile was a bit cocky and you still had your mouth dropped open in surprise as you nodded.

"Okay. Yeah."

Harry wasted no time in leaning over you and cupping your face. He didn't press his lips to yours right away but you could feel his warm breath on your top lip. He smelled like mint and soap.

"Yeah? Are you serious? Because I don't just like you a little. I want you to be my girlfriend but this is more than that. You mean it?” Harry’s warm hands on your face felt dizzying.

You bit your lip to suppress the grin that was taking over and nodded, “I am. I’ve wanted that… this. I really like you, as more than a friend, Harry.”

Harry let out a sigh and closed his eyes before shifting to his knees, still with your face in his hands, his forehead to yours, “Fuck. Okay. Then I need you to understand me when I tell you this," Harry swallowed and you heard it and you felt his lips brush over yours briefly before he continued, "I'm in love with you, Y/n. I'm crazy about you."

Your lips were still parted. There was no part of you that didn't love every part of him and now he was here in your bed telling you he felt the same. It was insane how fast things changed from the moment you arrived at your bedroom until now.

"H... Harry... I love you too."

The moment the last word left your mouth his lips smoothed over yours in reckless haste. It was your first kiss with Harry, well like this because there had been the occasional peck of the cheek and forehead. But this kiss had your brain turned to putty. Your limbs were floating and your heart was bouncing around on the inside of your body. You lifted your arms to wrap around his neck and Harry moved his hands from your face down to your waist to pull you in close to him.

You’d kissed a handful of guys but none of them gave you butterflies the way this kiss did. None of those kisses filled your body with an ache and relieved the craving all at once. None of the kisses you’d had in the past felt like they’d change the course of your life like this one.

When his tongue pressed against yours you whimpered on accident, Harry broke from the kiss with a small laugh. His eyes were dark and his raspberry lips were wet and pinker than you’d ever seen them.

“God. So you’re my girlfriend? And you fucking love me?” Harry swallowed and let out a shaky breath as his chest rose and fell with a heavy breath, “I’ve just wanted you for so long. I feel like we’ve wasted so much time.”

Oh god did you want him too. For years. Everything about him was your ideal. You modeled every idea of a relationship after the friendship you had with him. You knew everything about one another and your feelings for him ran so deep that you felt it seep from the bottom of your feet and squish around with every move you made. Like stepping into the ocean and having your feet sink into the silky sand underneath. The kind that gets into your toenails and even after you’ve showered you find traces of it all over your clothes and your shoes and your floor. And then the night you saw his dick all those months back. You hadn’t stopped thinking about it. You’d only had a few quick boyfriends. One of them you had sex with but none of the guys you tried dating would come close to being like Harry.

You dropped your gaze to his crotch and noticed the sizeable bulge and you let out a laugh. It all felt so surreal.

Harry scoffed, “Looking down at the big guy? Do you want another peek at him so you can make a more informed decision as to whether you actually love me or not?” Harry’s words sputtered out in a laugh. He was always teasing like this. It felt like you two were back to normal but now there was a heavy blanket of sexual tension covering you both.

“Shut up! Do you think your dick is what made me love you?” You laughed and nudged at Harry but he grasped your wrist and kept you close. His smile had turned to something a little more seductive, the kind of smile you’d seen him give you before and you felt your tummy dip and soar. It was a smile that faded into something severe and tender. Like need and hunger.

“Probably. It’s what all the girls like me best for,” Harry chuckled and licked his lips. He was teasing obviously. Trying to be playful but you were reeling. You did want to see his dick again. You were already imagining what it might taste like in your mouth, what it would feel like inside of you…

“You’re so dumb,” you spoke with a smile and looked back down at the bulge and back up to him deciding to keep the moment light and teasing, “Okay. Yeah. Let’s see it again so I can decide if I want it near me or not,” you laughed and bit your lip as you looked at Harry. You both smiled and you watched as Harry bit his lip, mimicking your expression.

He kept his eyes on yours with his brows raised as if to say, challenge accepted. Harry was not one to shy away from showing his body. He was quite comfortable with himself. He’d walked around in front of you in boxers or naked (but covering his bits with a towel or a shirt) so many times you couldn’t count. He unbuttoned his pants and lifted his hips to drag them down his thighs. He paused for a moment, his eyes still on yours with a faint smile, head cocked to the side and brows still raised on his face as he pushed his boxers down and then took his t-shirt off swiftly, tossing it into the room. Some of his hair was pulled from the bun he had it in when he pulled his shirt off.

There it was. In all its glory once again. Long and thick and pink at the tip. Your breathing picked up and your head swirled in lust and you felt like you might pass out. But you wanted to touch him and you wanted him to touch you.

You lifted yourself to your knees and pulled your sweatpants down. You weren’t wearing panties but you knew where this was going. It was something you’d wanted for years. You decided that even if he didn’t want to have sex (which was highly unlikely) you’d be okay with that. But you wanted to have sex. The only time you’d ever done it was pretty okay. You liked it enough that you’d like to do it again, and you felt so close to Harry that you knew it would be better with him.

Harry’s gaze landed in between your thighs and his expression changed to something raw, carnivorous. His mouth parted and he couldn’t see your pussy but the view of your soft thighs and the way he knew you didn’t have a bra on under your thin t-shirt made him want to bite down on your smooth inner thighs.

When he reached for you to pull your body to his, you fumbled over his legs and he dragged you up to him where the bottoms of your thighs settled over the top of his, your legs straddling his hip as he leaned back. You pressed your lips to him and he put his hands on your sides. You both had no underwear on. If you moved up only a couple of inches your naked centers would come into contact.

Harry’s palms were gripping your sides keeping you in place. He wanted to bring you up to his dick and have you pressed to him, but he was holding back for your sake. He wasn’t sure if you wanted that or not, but you had taken your sweatpants off…

Harry’s mouth on yours, his tongue sweeping across your tongue, his strong hands holding your hips, the smell of his soap… it felt like everything you ever imagined. And you had imagined it. A lot. You often touched yourself thinking of the way his cock looked in his hand that night. In fact, ever since that night, you hadn’t masturbated to any other person. It had only been Harry from that day on. And now, you were sat in his lap with your warm centers so close you could feel the heat of it over your tummy.

You pushed at his shoulders and sat back to look at him. You wanted to pull your shirt off but there was a bit of you that was still feeling just a little shy. He couldn’t see that you didn’t have panties on yet. Once your shirt came off you’d be totally naked before him. He’d seen your pussy before, but that was in a moment of a sleep-filled lusty haze. There was no sleepiness to use as an excuse this time.

You brought your palms down over his chest and darted your eyes down to his cock. You licked your lips and looked back up at him. You knew he’d slept with three girls. He always told you about his sex life. He knew all about yours too. You hated that he’d been with other girls, far prettier than you thought of yourself.

But Harry hated that you’d been with anyone else as well. He wasn’t going to call himself a Casanova or anything but he knew he could be better with you than anyone else. Half the time he was with Birdie, he imagined it was you. He tried not thinking of you but anytime you two would hang out there was always flirting and teasing, and when he’d go to see Birdie after, if he had plans with her, he couldn’t get you off his mind and it was you he fantasized about.

When Harry began to grin at you because you were taking too long to make another move, which was true as you were just looking from his dick to his eyes, you laughed through your nose. It felt so silly to be shy around him, but at the same time, this was all new territory.

Harry started to laugh with you and then he softly pushed at you, making you fall to your back he kept his hands at your ribs and started tickling you to ease some of the tension because in all honesty, he was nervous too. You were laughing and kicking at him but Harry sat over your thighs keeping you from doing any damage and when he looked down that’s when he noticed your lack of panties. He paused his hands and softened them over your ribs, the pads of his fingers now faintly caressing your sides as he kept his eyes on your pussy. You watched his jaw go slack as he shamelessly inspected the way your thighs were pressed tightly together and how his cock was hanging right above you, it was beautiful, both of your naked bodies so near.

“Not wearing your knickers. That’s a surprise,” Harry smirked at you and brought his hands down to your bare hips and over your thighs and you watched as he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing harshly.

He pushed himself to hover over you and brought a hand down to your left thigh to spread your legs. He settled in between your thighs and leaned down to kiss you again. But this time he was directly over your body and you could feel the weight of his warm dick lying over your tummy and you moaned and spread your legs further. You knew you were already slick. You usually became wet anytime you were around him for long enough.

Harry groaned and you felt him rock down over you, his thick shaft digging down into you. He continued kissing and licking at your mouth when he reared himself back just a little, placing his cock over your pussy. When he nudged down a little to feel how warm you were he realized you were wet and he easily slid upward.

“God… Y/n. Fuck…” Harry moaned, not stopping his hips from rocking down over you.

You both continued moving together and kissing for long moments. It was something you thought you could do for all eternity. Harry’s heavy cock felt so nice in between your folds and being dragged up and down over your clit.

You whimpered when you began to tingle a little. You felt a little surprised that you could come like this, but of course, you could. It was Harry.

Harry stilled his hips and backed away from the kiss. His pupils were blown out and his lips were pink and puffy, “You’re so wet for me. Bet I could just slip right inside like this,” and he pushed down, nudging at your clit for emphasis.

You nodded, “Yes. I think you could…” you licked your lips and watched Harry’s face closely. You were hungry for anything he was willing to give.

“Can I lick your kitty for a bit,” Harry grinned as he said it. You laughed and nodded.

You held your breath as Harry moved down your body and he put his arms under your thighs and pushed you down into the bed. He looked up at you, still with that smirk on his face, and just as you were about to shove him for being goofy he opened his mouth and brought his tongue out to swipe up your wet folds. You were effectively rendered speechless.

He kept humming and you’d hear, “Mmm…” as he licked through your labia and over your clit. His eyes stayed on you as he ate you out. You watched as his tongue worked around your clit slowly and then he’d draw it into his mouth with a slurping noise. When he pulled his face away a bit to look down at your pussy you watched strings of your arousal from his mouth down to your pussy. He licked his lips, breaking the drips of arousal off and swallowing it down.

He focused his attention on your cunt and moved an arm out from under your thigh to rub his fingers through your folds. You moaned softly at the sensation and the way you were feeling so vulnerable under his close examination.

Harry looked back up at you, his fingers still working your pussy slowly, “You taste so good and you look so pretty. This pussy is the best pussy I’ve ever had, and we haven’t even really started yet.”

You panted when he spoke. You hadn’t expected those words to come out of his mouth. It was sometimes hard to be serious around him but this was no laughing matter. You were so turned on it hurt. You loved everything about this.

Harry returned his mouth to your cunt and then gently eased a finger into your entrance. You dropped your mouth open and let out gasps and felt your simmering blood turn to a boil as he sucked you in and licked you up. His finger massaging at your walls with the low murmur of the TV on in the background.

You put your hands into his hair and this made it come mostly out of the bun he’d had it in. It didn’t matter. He didn’t stop what he was doing to you and you yanked on his hair as you swayed your hips over his mouth.

You had to keep quiet, though. You still lived with your parents and they were just downstairs asleep. It was a conscious effort to keep your moans at a very soft volume, but the way his mouth felt on you had you wanting to be loud.

Harry began to groan a bit and with his cock desperate to be rubbed on something he rocked into the comforter under him, keeping his mouth on your pussy. You looked down at his face and he had his eyes squeezed shut. You could tell he was trying to get relief with the way his hips were grinding down into the bed. You pushed at his forehead a bit and he lifted his face, his lips ghosting over your wet pussy.

“Harry? Um…” you swallowed your nerves down, “… do you want to have sex?” You wanted to have sex. You wanted to feel him inside of you.

Harry’s brows shot up and he pushed himself up and looked around the room and back to you with a nod, “I mean… yeah. Of course I do,” he spoke with a laugh as he pumped his cock a few times for relief. He was aching already. Having his mouth on you was doing him in.

You sat up and finally pulled your t-shirt off over your head and Harry’s eyes widened. He climbed over you, pushing you back down to the bed, and attached his mouth to your tit and lapped around your pebbled nipple as he squeezed the other one under his palm gently.

He looked up at you and shook his, “Fuck,” before going down to kiss and suckle at your other breast.

You laughed when he nipped at you and he raised his head again, his hair all strung out and messy, half up in his bun, “How do you look like this and I never… shit Y/n. You’re so pretty,” he pushed himself up with his face scrunched, “I think I could cry. Fuck…” he palmed at both of your tits for a few more moments, watching as he smushed them together and pushed at your nipples. He couldn’t believe he was getting to grope you after all these years.

When he looked back up at your face you were smiling gently. He smiled back at you, biting his lips into his mouth, the indents in his cheeks carving inward, “Do you have a condom?”

You nodded and sat up again. Harry moved back to give you space and you pulled a packet from your bedside drawer and tossed it to him.

It felt so crazy to watch him naked in your bed as he slid a condom over his dick. A condom that he was putting on and was meant to be used with you. You were both going to have sex. Together. You had goosebumps over your skin but you felt hot. You had imagined this scene in your mind over and over again and now it was really happening.

“Do you want to get on top? Or what do you want? I’m not going to be picky here. I’m gonna like anything you want,” Harry spoke with a low voice as he settled next to you, his hand smoothing up over your hip to your tummy.

“Mmm…” you considered. You weren’t super experienced and the one guy you’d slept with never made you come so you weren’t sure what you liked the most, “Maybe you can start on top, and then we can switch to try with me on top if we feel like it?”

Harry nodded and squeezed your sides with a big smile. He pulled your face back to his and kissed you a little, his palm softly massaging your breasts. And in a smooth transition, Harry moved your legs apart and put himself between your thighs. He rubbed the insides of your soft thighs and got a good look at your pussy again before grasping himself and dragging the condom-covered tip through your slick flesh.

“Okay. Are you ready? Do you need anything first?” He wanted this to be the best you’d ever had. He didn’t want to do anything wrong and he wanted to make sure that you were happy and well-pleased with him. He wanted to be a good lover.

“I’m ready. Just need you,” you nodded and spoke in a whisper as you watched Harry’s arm flex when he lined himself up to you and began to gently and slowly move past your entrance. You watched Harry, his eyes on yours as he entered you for the first time. It was a gorgeous little stretch and pull and you gasped with a smile on your face.

Harry returned your smile and paused for a second. He wanted to enjoy this with you. He planned on going slow and connecting with you the whole time.

“Okay? Feels okay?” He breathed his words out and you nodded with a grin.

He began to push himself in further before he slowly reared back and then plunged in again, coating the condom with your arousal. Each time he backed out a little and then pushed back into you he got a bit deeper.

His languid strokes were slow and smooth. You were both panting and it felt so good. It felt like it was meant to. You were so happy, so beyond excited about Harry wanting you that your brain was fuzzy with joy and love and all those gushy gooey feelings. Harry leaned over you as he continued fucking into you slowly. He pressed his lips to yours and you opened your mouth up right away, licking his tongue and pushing your lips together with hot open-mouthed kisses.

You were glad the TV was on. It helped to drown out the noise of your mattress squeaking and the small moans and whines coming from you two. You kept quiet but you knew that if Harry sped up at all things would naturally become louder.

You rocked your hips upward each time Harry rolled his hips down into you, giving your clit the friction it needed. Harry kept his mouth over yours as his cock slid inside of you, deeper and deeper until he was pushed into the hilt and he let out a bit of a louder groan when he felt you squeezing him tight.

He lifted his mouth and with a small laugh he spoke, “Thank fuck for the condom or I’d already have been coming. You feel really good,” his grin was sexy and you lowered your hands to his bottom and pulled him in closer to you. He kept his eyes on you as he thrust upward into you, keeping himself fully sheathed inside of you.

You bit your lip and breathed hard through your nose. He was deep. It felt so good, though, to be connected to him this way and you nodded, “It does feel really good. I can feel you so deep, Harry,” your words were panted out as Harry continued rolling his hips upward to push your insides apart.

When he began to pull out to his tip and then glide inward you could hear how wet things were down there. Harry was grunting and he felt his groin get wetter and wetter each time he got balls deep. Part of him wished he get even deeper, push even further into you, lodge his cock into your guts so far that you two could never be apart again.

His cadence increased a little and the wet sounds of your bodies patting together were now just as loud as the TV. Though the volume was low, it was still an obvious noise of sex.

Harry put his hands into your hair and cradled your head as he fucked you, looking into your eyes, “I love you so much, Y/n,” his words were shaky breaths and he snorted a little at the end which had you laughing but when he gave you one harsh thrust you yelped and grasped onto his back with your fingers. He didn’t mean to thrust into you so hard but you felt so good. He couldn’t wait to start having sex with you all the time. This was the first time, though, so he really did want to go slow and make it meaningful, make it last and last. But he just knew that he’d be railing you so deep and hard and making you scream the next time. The first time, however, he wanted to show you his feelings, give you all of himself with a slow, decadent fuck and he wanted to savor the way you felt in his arms and on his dick.

Your mind was reeling from how he felt inside of you, the way his body felt over yours, how he made you feel so pretty and so loved, “I love you too, Harry…” you moaned your words and felt yourself being gently rocked upward at each of his plunges.

Harry began to shake a little, he felt his balls tighten and he knew he was going to come soon. He stopped rocking his hips and breathed for a moment to calm down. He wanted you to come first.

“Wanna get on top and ride me?” Harry kissed your lips after he asked and you nodded into his lips.

He quickly pulled out and got onto his back as you climbed over him and sat up. You placed your palms over his chest and Harry put his hands on your outer thighs, loving the view of your tits and your stomach on view for him. He was over the moon. It was also a nice reprieve for him to have you switch positions so he could regain his composure and not come too fast.

Harry watched you as you grasped his cock, wetted hair at the base, and the condom smooth underhand. You would love to feel him without the condom. You’d heard things about the extra friction and heat that could be felt without a condom, but you were just happy to be getting his cock at all.

With one hand on his chest to stabilize yourself and your other one holding his shaft steady, you sink over him slowly and watch the tip slip in. Harry held your hips and watched as your pussy spread for his girth and he twitched as you lowered only an inch. Once you got his head past your entrance, you kept him shallow inside of your cunt as you placed both palms at his chest and moved slowly just over his tip, really feeling the way it opened you up, savoring the thickness of him.

Harry smiled at moved his gaze from where you were connected to your eyes, “Just gonna fuck tip? S’that feel good like that, Y/n?” His voice was deep and strained.

You loved how it felt in fact, “God, Harry… it just feels so good. Just wanna, go like this,” you said as you pushed down over him, getting only a tiny bit deeper before moving back upward so he was nearly all the way out, and then fucking down on his tip again, “for just a minute. It’s so thick.”

Harry closed his eyes at your words. He knew he was large. But hearing you say it while you were naked and your pussy was gripping at his head, the little sounds of your arousal being plunged into, the smell…

Soon, though, you wanted to feel him pushing your wet walls apart again. You wanted him moving your insides around and feeling how much he could stuff you full. You lowered down further until you were seated over his lap with his balls tucked securely under your bottom. You ground over him for a moment, rubbing your clit onto his pelvis.

Harry moved his hands from your waist to your round bottom and he hung on tight as you rode his cock, slicking yourself up and down, with your hips angled to keep your clit in contact with him. It sent electricity through your body when you had his length inside of you this way. It was deeper when you were on top and it ached inside of your body as you moved down over him. You couldn’t help but start tearing up just a little because it was everything you’d wanted for years.  

Harry was silent other than his own breathy grunts each time you moved down over him. He saw how you were getting a little emotional, but he was too. He pulled you down so he could press your lips together and he adjusted his hips and began to gently rock into you from his position. It was soft and slow still, but the springs in your mattress were squeaking in rhythm with his upward thrusts.

It was so intense, the way everything felt in your body, your heart was pounding and your mind was surging with thoughts of complete bliss to be loved in return by Harry. He loved you. He wanted you. His cock was pushing into your pussy and everything just felt so good. Your mouth and his mouth moved slowly, softly as you both moved your hips together.

When you suddenly felt the snap of your orgasm begin to pulse around your middle and the tingle started to spread from your tummy to your clit and then into your vagina, you knew it was going to wreck you. This wasn’t just going to be like the orgasms you achieve by rubbing at your clit quickly in bed each night. Harry's big dick was pressing into your g-spot with ease and the way he was moving into you meant you felt him inside of you and your orgasm was going come from inside of you as well.

Harry felt you begin to quiver and your mouth stopped moving on his when you began pulsing gently over his cock. He increased his speed of upward thrusts just a bit and the bed began to rock a little harder. The sound of wet skin making contact was in rhythm with the springs in your bed and you began to moan a little louder than you should have.

Harry knew you were coming when you began to shift over him faster and began to moan. He tried to put his mouth over yours to keep you quiet but you angled yourself away from him as you gasped and rocked your pussy over his cock, “Fuck, Harry! Holy shit!”

Harry laughed as you clenched his dick and your moans were so loud. He couldn’t stop you, though. And he just hoped your parents couldn’t hear you. You felt so good on him, coming and moaning and shaking in your orgasm.

Harry watched your face with your mouth dropped open and your tits bouncing as you used his cock for your pleasure. He threw his head back into the pillow and smiled as he gasped and spurted into the condom. He was in heaven, coming with you on him, your name falling from his mouth. He loved that his dick made you feel so good you lost control of yourself.

Harry panted and shut his eyes tight as he released his come, his orgasm finally giving him total relief.

You collapsed over him as you began to come down and breathed into his neck with a big smile on your face and a few tears on your cheeks. It was probably the happiest you’d ever been. All in one night Harry had admitted he liked you, then told you he loved you, then fucked you so good you cried. And now he was yours.

Harry rubbed over your back slowly and kissed your temple. He loved this moment. He knew there would be many more like this and it squeezed his heart just thinking of how you were his now.

You pushed yourself by your elbows and looked down at Harry and his disheveled hair. The band that held his bun in place was nowhere to be seen, his chest flushed with a big dimpled smile on his face.

“Harry…” you didn’t have anything in mind to tell him. You just wanted to say his name.

“Y/n…” he said to you as he pinched your bottom and you jumped but he held you down over him so you couldn’t move too far from him.

Everything felt so natural with Harry. So real and so fun and it just made sense now. You’d always been in love with him and he’d always felt the same for you.

You both smiled as you started to laugh again, “That was… the best. I’m gonna need to buy more condoms, though. Because we are doing that again.”

Harry nodded and breathed out a laugh, “Yeah? You wanna fuck me again, Y/n? S’that mean you like me?”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes and clenched down over his cock, squeezing him tight and Harry gasped. You waited for a moment before you responded but then with a smirk on your face and a hand at his temple brushing his hair back you said, “I fucking love you.”

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[rayslittlekitten]

Can I?

A/N: Okay y'all. It's here, it's done. Y'all voted on this a while back and it was a bit challenging as I made the mistake of starting to write it with Will in mind so I had to make adjustments, but I think I figured it out. Thank you so so much to @musings-of-a-rose for taking a look at this for me. You are a doll!

Rating: E (18+ ONLY)

Word Count: 6,033

Pairing: Benny Miller x BFF! F! Reader

Plot: A night of unexpected events occur when you and your best friend innocently test out sex toys you had drunkenly purchased for shits and giggles.

WARNINGS: This is the first fic I am NOT including warning tags because I don't want to spoil anything. There's nothing typically potentially triggering like dark stuff (i.e. CNC) but still I wanted to keep it a mystery going in. SO PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Your friends were supposed to watch the fight with you tonight but they had bailed with some excuse or two except for your best friend. You thought that his brother would at least still be joining as they usually do everything together - like you wouldn’t be surprised if you found out they hold each other’s dicks while the other pisses - but it’s just going to be you and him tonight. Instead of going to the bar like originally planned, you both decided to pick up a case of beer and hang out at your place. It’s cheaper and less crowded. 

There’s a rap at your apartment door and you go to open it. As expected, it's your best friend with the supply.

“Hey, Benny! Just in time!”

"Hey, you got a package," Benny says as he hands you the beer. He bends down to pick up the small brown box off the floor by your door. "What did you order?"

"I have no idea what that is," you reply as you make your way over to the kitchen to stick it in the fridge. "I don't remember ordering anything. Where does it say it's from?"

"The return address just says Warehouse, in Ohio," he replies, inspecting the non-descript package and following you further into your apartment after shutting the door behind him.

He hands you the cardboard box before taking his jacket off and making himself at home. You rip open the package and after seeing the contents, you laugh out loud.

"What's so funny?" he asks, walking closer to you.

"This was a drunk purchase. I totally forgot about these!" You reach in to pull out the items and show him your new purchases.

"What are those?" He looks perplexed.

“This one is a vibrator I keep seeing on Instagram, but it's supposed to be like, amazing," you answer.

"How the hell are you supposed to use that?" He takes one of the packages from you and inspects it, looking at the pictures on the box.

"Well, one way you can use it is you insert this side into your pussy and this part is supposed to sit on your clit," you point and explain to him. "It also comes with a detached remote so someone else can control it.

"I don't know if that's a terrible time or a great time."

"The vibration is supposed to be very powerful but quiet," you add. "Supposed to be discreet. They try to sell it by showing women supposedly wearing it in public under their clothes without anyone apparently knowing and their partner has control of it and she's like losing her shit."

"I'm curious now."

"For science!" You declare as you snatch the package from him. You start opening it up and pull the contents out. "Shit, it needs AAA batteries. TV remote!"

You head to the living room and he follows you. You take the batteries out of your TV remote and shove them into the new toy. After turning it on, it buzzes lightly in your hand, moving subtly.

"Let's see how crazy it can get." You start playing with the buttons until it goes up to the highest setting and Ben's eyes get wide as saucers watching it flop around in your palm, practically jumping out of your hand.

"Jesus Christ!" Benny hops back.

"Yeah, now imagine that between your legs."

"I'm not sure I want to. Looks like it would scramble all the sperm inside my balls. Besides, I don't think it was made for my body parts," he points out.

"You just don’t have an imagination," you jab. "Hmm, should we test drive it?" you suggest as you shut it off.

“What do you mean?" he asks curiously.

"See if the hype is real," you answer. "Especially that other one." You point to the other toy that's still in its package.

"That one's supposed to feel like your clit is actually getting sucked on."

"I didn't even know such toys exist," he confesses. 

"There are soooo many sex toys out there, you don't even know. Why don't you go get us some cold ones while I figure these out?" you suggest.

"You really wanna do this?” He checks again.

"Yeah, why not? It's not like we have anything else better to do except watch two grown men beat each other up," you state. “Come on, this isn’t any different than the time we accidentally found Will’s porn stash and you got a boner.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t jerk off.”

“You totally did. Not in front of me, but you were not discreet when you snuck off to the bathroom with one of his magazines to ‘take a shit’,” you look at him knowingly.

“Okay, fine,” he shrugs and adjusts his forward-facing cap. “You have a point.” He heads back into the kitchen to grab some beer.

When he comes back with two opened bottles in hand, he finds you reading the manual and reviewing the other toy.

"So how exactly are we testing these?" he asks, settling down next to you on the couch and taking a gulp of his beer.

"Well, I'm not gonna stick it down my pants if that's what you're thinking. Would that be too weird?” You scrunch your nose while looking over at your best friend who looks just as clueless.

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking. It ain't going down my pants. No amount of alcohol is gonna get that to happen."

"Okay, I didn't think this through. I mean, I guess we can just test it on our arms or something," you shrug cluelessly, thinking of the first thing that comes to mind and then going back to the manual.

"How would that work?" Benny asks as he takes the remote sitting next to him, inspecting it.

As you begin to answer, he starts randomly pressing buttons and you shriek, jumping in your seat. Benny also jumps back, spilling some of his beer as he reacts to your sudden outburst.

"What the hell?!" He looks over to you.

You instantly reach for the vibrator that happened to be sitting between your legs, snug against the front of your pants and toss it at him. Benny tries to dodge it like it's a dead cockroach, but it lands on his lap and he immediately launches himself off the couch. The vibrator continues to bounce around the cushion of the couch until Benny finally shuts it off.

"What the hell was that, man?" Benny looks over at you.

"It was between my legs when you turned it on, you ass!"

“Well, what the hell was it doing there? You said you weren't gonna test it that way."

"I wasn't! It just happened to be there while I was reading on how to operate the other one. Why'd you turn it on?" You shoot back.

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing!" He shouts. "This shit is like rocket science! How do you women even use these things?"

"Men use them too," you correct him. 

“Well, clearly I never have," he admits and returns to his seat, flicking the vibrator towards you to make room for himself.

"You're such a prude. It's not like I was wearing it," you say, grabbing it away from him.

"I'm not a prude! You freaked out so I freaked out." He takes another gulp of his beer.

"Whatever," you mumble, still feeling a bit flustered and embarrassed by what had happened. You turn your attention back to the other toy. 

"Wait, you've never used any sex toys before?" you shift your attention back to him.

"Nope," he shakes his head.

"Not even with a partner?" You raise a brow.

"Well, one time this girl wanted to make things interesting and suggested a dildo, but it wasn't for her," he starts. "She wanted to stick that up my ass and I was not about that. Especially not after what I had for lunch that day."

"Aww, no peggy for Benny?" you exaggerate a pout.

"Hey, you should think twice about who you're poking fun of.” He shows you the remote in his hand and turns it back on, spooking you when the vibrator goes off between you and Benny.

"Okay, you're having too much fun with that." You reach over to grab the remote from him but he moves it away from your reach. 

You lean in further, but his long arm prevents you from getting access to it. At this point, you’re practically climbing on top of him. 

“You’re right. This is fun,” he laughs.

When you get close, he transfers the remote to his other hand so you shift yourself but lose your balance, landing back on the still-on vibrator. You shriek and Benny laughs at you. He turns the setting to the highest as you try to get away from it in your awkward position.

"Benny! You can't just go from 1 to 100 instant—" You finally roll off of it and give yourself a moment. With your eyes closed and teeth digging hard into your lower plump lip, you try to get yourself together.

“Are- are you okay?” Benny asks as his laugh dwindles. “Did you have an orgasm or something?” he jokes.

“No…” you start. “But maybe I almost did - maybe!”

His laugh finally dies, but a smirk remains on his face.

“Seriously?!” His eyes grow wide, turning his body towards you.

“That toy is no joke,” you point to it still wriggling on the couch. “And now I really wanna know what it can do.”

Benny shuts it off and his eyes shuttle between the toy and you.

“Uh… like, now?” He questions.

You stare at him for a few seconds, contemplating. 

“That would be weird, right?” You ask with a squinted eye. “Never mind, forget it—”

“Have at it,” Benny interrupts. “Now I wanna see what this thing can do, too.”

“Really?” You ask with a raised brow, surprised.

“Yeah, like you said, what else is there to do? For science!” He brings up his beer bottle to celebrate it.

“Dork,” you chuckle, snatching the toy.

“Also, maybe I can learn a thing or two from it,” he replies. “Not that I need any help in that department, but I’m always open to learning new things,” he adds.

You roll your eyes.

“Hey, I’m a fighter and a lover. And I’m great at both,” he winks. 

“Are you done stroking your own ego?” You look at him, unimpressed.

“I’m sorry. Yes, you can go on to stroke yourself,” he answers, trying to keep a straight face but ends up cracking a smirk.

“You’re so dumb,” you roll your eyes again and try not to crack your own.

“But I gotta be the one in control.” He holds up the remote in his hand.

“Benny-“

“I may never have the opportunity to ever do this again,” he says. “Besides, isn’t it what makes this fun? Someone else controlling it?”

You stare back at him and think about it.

“Okay, fine, but-“ you point a finger at him.

“I promise I won’t go from zero to 100, okay? Scout’s honor.” Benny brings his three middle fingers up.

“You weren’t a boy scout,” you point out.

“Fuck you. I was one for like a month,” he corrects you. “So are we doing this or what?”

“Turn around,” you tell him.

“What? I can’t watch?”

“Not watch me put this on. Turn around,” you repeat.

He rolls his eyes and turns his whole body around so the back of his head is facing you. You keep an eye on him as you wrangle your jeans and slip the toy inside you until it fits snug. Benny takes a sip of his beer as he waits patiently. He hears you fumbling around and finally you tell him he can turn back around.

He turns to face you and he looks confused.

“What?” You ask him.

“You have it on? Under your jeans?”

“Yes. I wasn’t gonna let it all hang out willy-nilly,” you tell him. “If you don’t believe me, turn it—“

Before you can finish your sentence, Benny flips the switch and you seize up. He can’t hear it, but your reaction confirms you have it in. He watches you as you stay still and quiet for a few moments.

“Can I up the speed?” He asks.

“Is this the lowest setting?” You calmly shoot back.

“Uh, yeah I think so.” He looks down at the remote to see if there’s any indication.

“Okay, go up one notch. One!” You glare at him.

“Okay, here we go.” He turns it up and you twitch.

You start shifting around in your seat until you feel the vibrator is in optimal position.

“How many speeds does this thing have again?” You ask out loud, reaching for the instruction manual and scanning it. “TEN?”

“Well, here’s number three,” Benny says as he ups the speed.

“Ben— ohhhhh…” Your scolding got cut short when the vibrator starts to really hit the right spots. 

The tip of the dildo part tickles your g-spot as the outer part flickers over your clit. You close your eyes and bite your lower lip, trying to concentrate and keep your composure.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you mumble.

“Uh… how are you doing?” He asks, not sure what else to do.

“I’m… “ you freeze up for a quick second and then relax, letting out a heavy breath. “Jeeeesus,” you hiss.

Benny remains quiet as he watches you slightly gyrate against the couch. You close your legs together and cross your knees, trying to recalibrate yourself for the ideal position. He notices your breathing has gotten heavier.

“Higher?” He asks quietly, afraid to interrupt your flow.

“I’m already slipping all around,” you answer without opening your eyes, almost forgetting you aren’t alone.

“That’s not a no…” he points out.

Your teeth digs even deeper into your lower lip as you contemplate whether you want to chase your impending orgasm or not. You hate that at the current setting, it’s only enough to edge you and need a bit more to get you over the top. 

“Okay,” you finally say. “Do it.”

Benny takes it to number four and you yelp instantly.

"Oh my god," you start giggling. "This is fucking crazy!"

Your thighs tightly clamp together and your back arches off the couch. You throw your head back as your jaw drops open, letting out a silent scream. Your hips rock against the vibrator, trying to get to the finish line.

"I'm not gonna lie. This is getting me hard."

You open your eyes and glance over at him to see him palming the front of his jeans and rubbing himself through the denim as he watches you trying not to lose your shit.

“How close are you?" he asks.

You feel your face get really warm all of a sudden. His baby blues pierce your eyes and you're suddenly feeling more vulnerable than you already are, like you just got caught doing something you shouldn't be doing, but at the same time, it’s kinda hot seeing Benny turned on watching you to the point where he’s quasi-touching himself. Noticing your state of shock, he amps up the vibration and you let out an uncontrolled moan.

"Oh, fuck!“

Your hips buck off the couch as your orgasm comes crashing down on you. You continue to moan as you ride the wave and try to catch the next one, grinding down on the couch. You don’t even care how silly you might look to Ben right now. All your focus is what’s going on between your legs. Suddenly the vibrator gets stronger again.

“Ben, stop! It’s too much!” You shriek.

You’re relieved when the torture stops, but it also feels odd as you feel the residual buzzing between your legs.

“So… how was it?” Benny breaks the silence. “Was it all your hopes and dreams?”

You take a moment to yourself to process the experience before answering.

“This shit is… I don’t think I ever want to experience the highest setting on this thing,” you tell him. “This thing is like a torture device. It feels like I pissed myself.”

You turn to look at him as you catch your breath and you’re reminded that Benny’s having his own fun with this, bringing you back down to earth. He scoots a bit closer to you with his hand still over his crotch. This new tension is clearly mutually felt as you both stare at each other, waiting for the other person to say or do something first. Your eyes ping pong between his face and his crotch, which he is still lazily rubbing.

“So uh… what now?” Benny asks, licking his lips. “Round two?” he brings up the remote still in his hand.

“N-no! No, no! Don’t you dare-“ you reach for the remote again, but he pulls it back behind him.

You chase after it, lunging towards him and end up getting right in his face.

“Benny!” You try again, but pause when you catch him staring at you, his face no more than a few inches away from yours. 

It may be the post-orgasm bliss or the awkward position you both found yourselves in, but you’ve never noticed how easy on the eyes your best friend is. He swallows hard as his eyes scan your face.

“Can… can I kiss you?"  he asks suddenly, leaning in and nudging your nose with his, testing the boundaries.

You lick your dry lips and swallow as you glance down at his mouth, seeing it slowly closing the distance. He ghosts his lips over yours, stopping short of actually putting it on yours, waiting for your permission. You answer his question by closing the gap, slotting your mouth over his.

He kisses back, gently at first, matching your energy. When you slip your tongue into his mouth, he cups your face and returns the gesture. You’re both now devouring each other as he turns his body towards you to get into a more comfortable position, adjusting himself to accommodate the bulge in his jeans.

You both continue to make out with more urgency. Benny’s hands start cautiously exploring your body, placing a hand on your waist at first. It wanders down to your hip and he gives it a squeeze. Your own hands start roaming Benny’s body, touching his hard chest first. His warmth is welcoming, making you twist your body and lean into him. Feeling bold, Benny’s hand wanders to your thigh, his fingers brushing the inside, but far from your wet patch. 

“Can I touch you down there?” He mumbles between kisses while moving his mouth to the side of your face and down your neck.

“Wha-“ You let out a loud sigh when you feel his soft wet tongue on the side of your neck, shivering when he grazes a sensitive spot.

“Can I touch you down there?” Ben repeats, pulling back, his lust-filled eyes looking down into yours.

His fingers barely scrapes your inner thigh, but you feel the jolt of his touch travel up to where the vibrator is still sitting.

“Please?” He squeaks out as his fingers travel up higher and his breathing gets heavier, matching yours.

Even though the vibrator isn’t on, it still brushes against your clit every time you shift and it’s only making you want Benny more, to help you get some relief. Even though you’ve already cum, you are hornier than ever right now.

You simply nod before capturing his mouth again. You moan into his mouth when you feel his hand cupping you, rubbing small slow circles with his fingers. Your hips twitch when he drags his middle finger up and down the thick seam of your pants that’s pressing directly down the center of the outer part of the vibrator which is sitting directly on your clit. He’s barely putting any pressure, but you’re hypersensitive right now and it feels like torture. 

Now impatient, you start undoing your pants, trying to quickly get them off. You break the kiss to take a few seconds to focus on ridding your jeans. Benny watches you as he palms himself again, touching himself like he did with you. When you finally get your jeans off, tossing it over the couch, you reach into your underwear to remove the bane of your current existence - the vibrator. Without much effort, the vibrator basically falls out of you. It is drenched in your arousal, a thin sticky string still connects you to it. 

It made an audible noise when it slipped out of you, as did Benny. Before you can discard the very used toy, Benny’s hand is back on you, his fingertips teasing the band of your underwear. He keeps dipping further and discovers how slick you really are.

"Jeeeeesus Christ, you weren't kidding. That shit got you so fucking wet," he comments while teasing your opening, slowly dipping his fingertip in, putting light pressure against it but it took no effort to penetrate you.

An audible squelch can be heard when he enters a second finger. You moan, feeling his thick fingers filling you and stroking you inside. He’s definitely reaching places the vibrator couldn’t. He hums watching your face distort when he pushes in further.

Your hand grips his strong forearm, feeling his veins raised and his muscles flexing underneath your palms as he pumps his long fingers in and out of you. The tip of his tongue darts out and licks the corner by his upper lip as he starts curling his fingers up, reaching for that soft spongy spot at the roof of your vagina. Your legs open up wider for him as his fingertips rub your g-spot over and over again. Your senses are heightened watching him watching you with darkened eyes. His thumb starts rubbing your clit as he massages your g-spot and it doesn’t take long for your orgasm to peak. You rock your hips against his fingers as your muscles continually clench and release over his fingers. 

"Holy sh-shit," you tremble, feeling the aftershocks.

He pulls his fingers out, dragging them over your clit along the way, making your body twitch at the sensitivity. 

“I think I made you cum faster than that toy did,” he jokes.

You crack a half smile but you don’t have the brain power to conjure up a verbal response. After a shared moment, he leans in to give you a quick peck on your lips. As he gets up off the couch, Benny takes his cap off to adjust the position of it, switching it backwards before settling between your legs. 

The front of your thin cotton panties are completely drenched through. He can see your outline as the damp fabric clings to your puffy lips. 

“Can I taste you?” 

His puppy eyes peek up from between your legs. Your brain is mush so you simply nod.

He bunches the top of your underwear in his hand and yanks it up, causing it to brush across your clit. Your hips twitch and as he continues to rub the fabric over you, seeing your reaction to it and drawing out the tease. You moan and gyrate your hips when he puts his mouth between your legs over your underwear.  He laps up your juices, licking and sucking as he continues to tug at your panties taut against your dripping cunt, putting pressure on your sensitive nub.

"Ben…" you pant as you push his cap off and run your fingers through his messy dirty blonde hair.

His scruff brushes the insides of your thigh as he continues to eat you out. You gasp when you feel the tip of his tongue breaching your opening, forcing your underwear aside and exposing your core. He puts more pressure with his tongue, slipping in deeper inside you and tasting you. Your hips start rocking against his face, but his tongue can only go so far. He shifts his attention to the swollen bud a little higher, scrunching your panties aside. He circles your clit with the tip before pressing the flat of his tongue and then his mouth over it, hollowing out his cheeks as he sucks hard. Your thighs clamp around his head and his eyes focus on your face as his tongue continues to play your clit like a fiddle. He grips your hips and holds you down.

“F-fuck…” your breathing becomes irregular as your orgasm builds.

With his mouth still attached to you, he slips his finger inside you to try to find that spot again. You thrust against his face when you feel your third release breaching. Benny intensifies his sucking and fingering, feeling you clench around him. You cry out when the dam breaks and you convulse around him. He doesn’t stop until you still. As you’re coming down from your high, body slouched from being spent, he withdraws his fingers and licks them clean.

“So you wanna try that other toy now to see how it compares to the real thing?” He asks as he stands up and wipes his mouth.

He was right about him not needing any help in the bedroom department. You can barely form words right now. Never in a million years would you think your best friend can eat pussy like an expert. Taking from his brother who he regularly competes with, he always strives to be the best in everything he does, but this is on a whole different level. And now he wants to use another toy on you? You don’t think anything can top what he just did to you.

"W-what?" you ask cluelessly, still recovering the most mind blowing oral sex you have ever received. 

Your eyes follow him as he reaches for the suction toy to show you. He tries to figure out how to turn it on as he kneels down, returning between your legs.

"You gotta help me out here--"

He's suddenly interrupted when you grab his face and smash your lips against his, tasting yourself. He abandons the toy somewhere and moves up to the couch next to you. You reposition yourself to straddle his lap as you continue to make out. As your hands wander down to the buttons of his jeans, he grabs your ass, squeezing them in his large hands. 

When you successfully get his jeans undone, he lifts his hips and helps you pull down his bottoms until he springs free. You look down and reach for his thick cock, warm and soft to the touch. You jerk him as he’s already hard as a rock. Your thumb brushes the underside of his head.

“Fuck,” he hisses.

Now it’s your turn to torture him. You slide off his lap and on to the floor, kneeling between his knees. Once in a comfortable position, you grab his length, licking a trail from the base to the tip, maintaining eye contact the entire time. When you get to the top, you wrap your lips around him, wetting the head a bit before inching down to taste the rest of him. Your tongue swirls around his smooth and salty skin, lubricating him as you bob up and down.

“Shhhhit…” He throws his head back against the couch.

Feeling frisky, you try to deep throat him and he grasps within arms reach whatever he can as he groans. He looks over when a hand grabs something unfamiliar to him. It’s the vibrator and an idea comes to his mind.

“Wait,” he reluctantly stops you.

You pause and see him holding up the vibrator.

“Put this on while you suck me. I think it’ll be fun.”

You look at the vibrator for a moment and then back at him.

“I promise I won’t put it so high,” he reassures you.

“Fine,” you agree and you take it from him and slip it inside you, orienting it the right way. “You try anything and I’ll bite your dick off,” you warn, drawing a small chuckle out of Ben.

You get back into the position you were in before and put your mouth back on him. As you go back to sucking him, you yelp when Benny turns the vibrator on at a low speed. The noise you made sent a delightful vibration down his cock, making it twitch. He turns it up a notch and your hips move against the vibrator. You start moving up and down on him a little faster, stroking the base where your mouth can’t reach. You deepthroat him again until you gag, but you keep on going, sending your spit dripping down his cock and lubing him up.

“You look so fucking hot,” Benny pants.

His breathing is getting more labored. His hips jerk up and he places a hand on the back of your head. He’s not putting any pressure, but he fists your hair. He doesn’t pull on it, just moves with you as you fuck him with your mouth. You start quickening your pace feeling the vibrator getting stronger, trying to match it. Feeling the beginning of an orgasm forming, you rock your hips and suck him harder.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he warns you.

Not changing your rhythm, you watch him come undone as he pops in your mouth. He thrust into your face as his moans echo in the small space and grasps the remote in his hand, accidentally jumping it up another level, but it’s what you needed to push you over the edge. You grind against the toy as you moan with him still deep inside your mouth. He spills out of the corner of your mouth as his hips slow down.

When he stills, you suck him clean and swallow the load that remained in your mouth. You reach down to pull the vibrator off and toss it onto his lap. Benny jumps in his seat and shuts it off. You wipe the corner of your mouth and chin with the back of your hand as you get up off your knees. He looks back at you with tired eyes as he tries to catch his breath, cock twitching. You squeal when he grabs your wrist and pulls you into his lap, careful with his half hard cock. You straddle his lap and he kisses you, his tongue thrusting into your mouth, tasting a bit of himself. The two of you lazily make out for a bit until Benny pulls back. You lick your lips and smile, looking down at him.

“We should start making this a regular thing, ya know. The toy testing,” Benny suggests, breaking the awkward silence and lightening the mood.

“Well, I do have a dildo I haven’t tried yet,” you half-joke.

He looks back at you with narrow eyes.

“You’re not putting that in my ass,” he states.

“Not what I was thinking,” you chuckle as you shake your head. “I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to be double penetrated,” you explain.

Benny stares at you with a blank expression, but you see his semi twitch in your peripheral. 

“Gi-give me maybe fifteen minutes—“ he finally says, pointing to his softening cock.

“Whoa! Hold it there, cowboy,” you stop him. “Why don’t we just think on that? Besides, I don’t have any condoms or lube for that to happen.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure,” he shrugs. “I-I had a good time, if that’s what you were wonder—“

You silence him with a tender kiss before grabbing the vibrator to remove the batteries and toss them at him.

“I’m gonna clean up. Why don’t you put the fight on? I think It’s starting soon,” you tell him as you dismount him and grab your jeans off the floor while Benny pulls his bottoms back up.

“Look what the guys missed out on. Coulda had an orgy,” you joke.

“If everyone showed up, we’d be at a bar,” he points out, then swishes some beer inside his mouth.

“Fair. Okay, a Miller sandwich then,” you switch it up.

Benny chokes on his beer.

“Kidding!” You chuckle awkwardly. “Kinda. Sorry, you probably don’t wanna think about you and your brother fucking the same person at the same time,” you snort before finally heading to the bathroom.

When you get back, you find Benny putting his phone away and relaxing on the couch like he was before any of the sexy stuff had happened, with the TV on. The awkwardness returns. He hands you your beer as you sit down next to him, settling in. You both quietly watch the fight as it starts, but you steal glances at each other every now and then. At one point, you do a double take.

“Dude, are you smelling your fingers?” You look at him incredulously.

“What? I washed them, but I can still smell you.”

You grimace at him.

“Don’t look at me like that. You smell good,” he shrugs. “It’s actually getting me hard again.”

You watch him adjust himself. The both of you stare each other down, trying to read each other until a knock on your door breaks the trance.

“Who the hell is that?” You ask, but Benny shrugs.

You get up to open the door and find the other Miller brother on the other side.

“Hey, sorry I’m late! I had trouble finding parking. Did the fight start already?”

You look back at him confused.

“Uh… are you gonna let me in?” Will asks. “I brought goodies.” He shows the case of beer and grocery store bag in his hand with a party sized bag of chips peeking out.

“Sorry, I just thought you weren’t coming,” you tell him while letting him in.

“I texted Benny telling him plans changed last minute. Did he not get it?”

“Uh, I-I don’t know. He didn’t tell me anything.” You lead him into the living room where Benny almost looks surprised.

“Did you not tell her I’m coming?” Will asks his brother.

“Oh, sorry, forgot. I was uh, a little preoccupied,” he apologizes.

Will looks at both you and Benny suspiciously. 

“It smells… interesting in here,” he comments, his eyebrows furrow with curiosity.

“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry Will. Let me take that from you.” You quickly change the subject, taking the bag and beer out of his hands.

“Wait-” Will starts.

“Get comfy. I’ll bring you back a cold beer,” you tell him before whisking away.

You stick the beer in the fridge and when you remove the party sized tortillas to pour some into a bowl, you notice some unexpected items in the bag. You take them out for a closer inspection and your eyes widen at the bottle of lube and a box of condoms. Maybe he bought these before his initial plans got changed.

You shrug, throw them back into the bag and return to the living room with a bowl of chips, cold beer and the grocery bag of personal items. When you walk into the living room, the brothers turn their attention to you, eyeing you like they’re expecting something other than the beer and chips. You look back at them suspiciously as they’re both very laxed and spread out on the couch on each end, leaving a space for you in between. As you walk over and settle in next to them, their gaze follows you.

“Here Will, I think these are yours,” you hand him a beer and his bag of items.

He takes them from you as he smirks.

“Thanks. So,” Will turns his body towards you. “Benny tells me you’re curious about some DP action.”

You almost drop the bowl of chips in your hands. Will is usually very reserved and diplomatic so you’re a bit shocked at how straight forward he is right now. You glare at your best friend who shrugs helplessly.

“I had to tell him what he missed out on.”

You glower your eyes at Benny, but then put two and two together, your focus now bouncing between the two brothers and realize that no one is probably going to watch this fight tonight.

[mybelovedwoo]

i'm glad i have you with me

bff!san x f!reader

fluff, comfort, childhood best friends to lovers (slow burn) / wc:1.3k

warnings: cheating, crying, swear words, cuddling

note: so tell me how you liked this one. i am a bit nervous because this is my first non-wooyoung fic, but i really enjoyed writing it. please stay tuned in the future for other members' fics too. if you want to be tagged in any of my fics you can apply here <3

san masterlist - main masterlist

Sitting on a couch at a house party all alone with people you don't know, there's literally any other place you would rather be. Originally you came with you're boyfriend Seungjun, but you haven't seen him in hours. You weren't much of a party person, but this time you accompanied him, because he begged you for days for it, but now you are starting to regret it honestly.

You take out your phone from your back pocket, but before you open it, you look around once more to see if your boyfriend pops up somewhere, you are out of luck, so after you unlocked it, the first thing you open is your messages. Your fingers linger over Seungjun's name, but it says he's been unavailable for hours, no shit Sherlock, you think. Instead, you scroll down a bit and open the messages for your best friend, San.

You know well that he probably not gonna answer, because it's Saturday night, and he is most definitely out with his friends too. You don't care, you try it anyway, he is your best chance to rescue you out of this hell. "Hey, San." is the first you send, you're not sure what to write him, you don't want to bother him. "What are you doing?" you wait a few minutes, but he's not responding, his phone is probably on mute. "I'm kinda bored, I don't know where Seungjun went. I need your rescue ㅠㅠ." Nothing, no response. You feel really annoyed at this point, but not because San, poor boy did nothing wrong, it is just a bad moment. "You know what I'm gonna look for Seungjun. Don't worry and have fun." You lock your phone and put it back in your back pocket.

You look around the kitchen, then in the yard, but you don't see him anywhere. You are getting kinda worried that maybe he left you there. At last, you walk up the stairs, the hallway is full of kissing couples, who must have only met tonight. The moment you enter one of the rooms, you regret everything you did until now. Your boyfriend was there with another girl you had never seen before, doing things you never expected him to do with anyone except for you. 

You didn't know what to do in the big shock, but you didn't speak up, maybe they didn't even notice you or just didn't care. But you turned around and hurried down the stairs, unable to control your tears. You just needed some fresh air, you had to get out of this place immediately. You crashed out of the entrance of the house and fell down to the stairs. Sitting there you didn't even think, you were already calling San. This is urgent now.

Your phone didn't even ring for two seconds when they already answered it. "Hey Y/N, is everything okay? I'm sorry my phone was on mute I haven't seen your texts. Have you found Seungjun? Wait, are you crying?" You couldn't even speak, though you wanted to tell him everything. "Y/N please say something! What happened? Are you hurt?" You took three big breaths to calm yourself down enough to talk a few words. "He cheated on me. Could you come to pick me up?" You didn't have to say more. "I've already sat in the car the minute I saw your messages, don't worry. I'll be there soon."

He wasn't lying, he got there in record time. You watched as he pulled up with his car to the driveway of the house. When he gets out of the car, is only when you get up from the stairs you've been sitting on. San rushed towards you at a high speed, so you didn't have time to move even an inch in his way.

"Where is that dickhead?" He asked with blunt words when he got to you. He seemed really angry, maybe even angrier than you, you had never in your life seen him like this before. You shrugged, implying that you don't know and don't care either. But that was not enough for him. "Is he still inside there?" You started to get a little worried.

"I think so. But please don't make a scene, let's just go home." You pulled him through his forearm when he already started walking to the entrance. "Wait for me in the car, okay? I'll be quick, I'm not gonna do anything he doesn't deserve, I swear." He said to you, while he stroked your face with his right hand. You hesitated, but who are you to tell him what to do, so you went up to his car and sat on the passenger side for like five minutes.

At this point you didn't care much about waiting a little longer, that's what you did all night long. San slammed the door behind himself, and somehow he looked even angrier than before. He got in the car next to you and when he looked at you his expression softened. "What did you do?" You asked him with a sobby voice. "I just showed him where he belonged. Let's just say he went swimming." You look down at his hands and you see it's all bruised up.

He started the engine. "San, I don't wanna go home. What if he comes there?" You didn't know what to do, since he had a key to your apartment. You couldn't bare to see his face once more.

"We're going to my place." He didn't even hesitate. You slept at his place many times now, but not since you started dating Seungjun. San was worried when you found out you are going to different colleges, he was afraid that you wouldn't spend as much time together as you used to. But you thought that was nonsense since you have been best friends since you were very little, you grew up together.

He never liked Seungjun, he always said he didn't deserve you. But he was your first boyfriend, and you were blinded with love, at least that's what you thought. Looking back, you also know that he didn't treat you well, but you don't know that when you're in it.

-

Entering San's apartment, all you could think about was that you needed to get some sleep asap. Weariness hit you the moment you got hit by the heat of the comfortable room. You didn't want to bother San with your presence, you don't know what plans he had. 

You've been quite comfortable in here, so you decided to lie down on the couch in the living room. "What are you doing?" Asked San, entering the room with a glass of water in his hand.

"Sleeping. I'm really tired." You mumbled, not able to speak properly.

"You can't sleep here. Go to my room, there is my bed. I'll sleep on the couch." You sat up at his statement. "No, you can't. This is your place." There's no way you letting him sleep out here in the cold living room when he has his own warm bed just a room away. "Let's sleep both in the bed. I think it's big enough for the both of us." You said. It's not like this is the first time you sleep in the same bed, you always fell asleep next to each other when you were little.

"Are you sure?" He hesitated. "We are not so small anymore." The joke made you both laugh, it made his heart clench to see you happy again.

After you took a warm shower, he gave you a big shirt of his and a jogger pant that was definitely too big for you. You got under the cover, San was already there, lying down. He turned off the lamp on the bedside table, which illuminated the whole room until now. 

As soon as it got dark your eyes started watering again, you remember everything that happened today. All of a sudden, you feel a pair of hands slip on your waist. San hugged you tightly from behind. "I got you." He whispered in your ears. He didn't let go of you all night long, you woke up in the same position the next morning.

-

[constantcrisis19]

Bleeding Out - Part 1

Simon "Ghost" Riley x GN S/O

AN: I personally headcanon that Ghost has sociopathic traits, which is why he's a bit not good in this fic and I kinda see the dynamic between him and the reader being a "I hate everyone except you" type of deal. If that's your cup of tea (pun intended) then enjoy!

Main Page

Warnings: War, violence, bombs, blood and injury, very heavily implied suicidal intent.

Ghost carefully picked his way through the blackened rubble, avoiding the broken glass and tall flames that swayed in the warm breeze as he jogged by, steadily making his way back to where they’d set up base camp. 

The private that he had secured across his shoulders in a fireman's carry remained quiet despite how dizzy Ghost’s every step had to make him feel. The younger man was clearly concussed, the deep gash on his forehead dripping blood into his eyes and leaving a subtle trail behind them as Ghost walked. 

From what Ghost could put together from the private’s garbled attempt to explain what had happened, a chunk of concrete had been thrown by the explosion and had hit him directly in the middle of his forehead, knocking him out, which had probably saved his life. 

There were fairly blatant signs that other people had recently been in the area, as evidenced by the copious boot prints covering the fractured ground, so it was obvious that the enemy had assumed that he was dead during their initial sweep through the destruction for any survivors and had left him alone.

Others hadn’t been so lucky.

Ghost’s breaths were slow and even as his eyes scanned over the substantial damage around him, paying particular attention to the more sizable chunks of debris that were big enough for someone to hide behind.

The bomb that had gone off not twenty minutes ago had leveled almost the entire town, leaving behind only carnage. His gloves creaked as his hands tightened on his rifle, a feeling of dread sinking in his gut as he walked through what was essentially a graveyard.

They’d had two teams in the immediate blast range, one having accidentally come across the bomb, the leader only getting a short warning out over comms before a deafening explosion rocked the city. It wasn’t long after that that the gunfire had started, a frantic voice coming over the radio to warn the rest of the teams about the ambush.

Ghost recognized the voice as Bravo team’s leader, the very same group that you’d been assigned to.

Ghost felt something in his chest tighten when -after one last flurry of gunfire- everything had gone eerily quiet, the sound of static the only answer when he tried to get a hold of someone on Bravo team for a sitrep, the dead silence putting him more on edge than any gunshot or explosion ever could. 

"Bravo team, this is Karma in the blind, how copy?" Your voice suddenly broke through the white noise that had taken over the channel, weary and labored. “I repeat, this is Karma, does anyone copy?”

"I read you Karma, what’s your sitrep." Ghost spoke into the radio, pausing his determined march to let the private he had a hold of rest for a few precious minutes. Ghost didn’t feel relief at hearing your voice, that feeling of foreboding he had becoming stronger at how shaky you sounded.

"I got separated from the rest of Bravo team during the ambush and I'm running low on ammo. What's your position, maybe we could link up?" You asked, your breaths coming out heavy in between bouts of talking. It was abundantly clear that you were running on fumes and Ghost nearly shattered the plastic casing on his radio when his grip tightened.

He couldn’t abandon the injured private that he was carrying, no matter how badly he wanted to come to your aid, it was against protocol and wouldn’t be fair to the private.

“Negative.” He barked into the speaker, his helpless frustration making his tone sharp and angry. “I've got a private with me, WIA.” Ghost replied, and you both knew full well what that meant. 

He was heading out of the town in order to reach base camp, which meant that Ghost was traveling in the opposite direction of your position and wouldn’t be able to come back until the private was secured.

"Shit. How bad? Are they gonna make it?" You cursed over the line, but you didn’t sound angry or accusing, you just sounded worried. But not for yourself, all that concern in your voice being solely reserved for the random soldier that Ghost was hauling around, the very one that kept him from running to your side.

And that was just like you, wasn’t it? Painfully altruistic, even at your own expense.

He felt the inane urge to laugh -an angry, bitter sound- but he swallowed the horrible noise down because he knew that it wouldn’t make the shitty situation suddenly change to something a little more palatable. 

The sound of you loading a new mag into your gun sounded over the line, drawing Ghost’s attention back to you, before you spoke. “Ghost? You still with me?”

“Always.” Ghost replied as he began moving again, being careful not to jostle the private as he went, as if his extra caution could possibly make up for his overwhelming desire to just drop him to the ground and leave him for dead. 

If you were suspicious of Ghost for withholding the exact nature of the private’s injuries, you didn’t say, the only sound on comms for a moment being the subtle shift of clothing as you adjusted your position.

"I'll try to hold out as long as I can. Until then, stay frosty, Lt." You finally sighed through the radio, breaking the loaded silence that had descended over the two of you. 

"I'll keep the radio on me. Don't let your guard down." Ghost ordered grimly before the radio clicked off, allowing him to turn his focus back to his surroundings and the person he was carrying as he picked up his pace, returning to the light jog he was at before you’d contacted him. 

He was about ten minutes out from his intended destination when the familiar sound of distant gunfire rang out, the echoing crack of gunshots continuing on for a few minutes before abruptly cutting out, that knot in his chest seizing until he felt his breathing became labored. 

The image of your bleeding, broken body flitted through his mind's eye, taking inspiration from the various gorey scenes from all of Ghost’s missions that he had filed away in the back of his mind, making each new image his memory conjured up worse than the one before.

He could just begin to make out the perimeter of camp when Ghost's radio came to life, white noise filling the oppressive quiet, the soft static somehow more ominous than the previous silence.

Ghost freed one of his hands and snatched up the radio on his shoulder all without once breaking his stride. “This is Ghost, how copy.” 

"Fuck, Ghost. It’s not looking good.” You breathed shakily over the line and Ghost immediately picked up on your distress, cataloging every tiny scrap of information he could glean from just your voice as he ran across the last few meters separating him from the medical tent.

He wondered if you were aware of the small, almost inaudible sounds of pain you were making with every careful breath.

“Head wound, severe concussion.” Ghost barked at the medic that tried to protest against him depositing his cargo onto one of the first empty cots he came across while aggressively pointing at the barely conscious private, watching as the medic took a step away from him at his curt tone, eyes wide as they warily watched him.

He turned his back on the medic and the private he’d hauled to safety, stalking back out of medical. He ignored the painful-looking double takes that the soldiers milling about shot his way as they scrambled out of his warpath. 

He didn’t care about the looks he was getting or that he was making people nervous; his skin felt too tight -like an ill fitting suit- and it made him feel unstable… inhuman.

“Sitrep, now.” Ghost growled at you as he stalked over to the tent where they had set up a supply cache, loading up on grenades, ammo, knives and anything else that he thought would be useful in case he got cornered at any point during his journey. 

“I got pinned down by enemy fire and had to shoot my way out. A lucky bullet took a fucking chunk out of my thigh. I can’t move and I'm pretty sure our little confrontation signaled my position to everything unfriendly within a five mile radius." There was a moment of silence before you continued with a rueful laugh. “And I've only got eight bullets left. What a fucking shit show." You muttered the last bit to yourself, snapping your mag back into place.

"What other weapons do you have?" Ghost asked, already mentally running through several different strategies and contingencies for every plan he came up with as he double checked his gear before marching back out of the tent. 

"A couple knives and two grenades. Though I was saving the explosives for if I was surrounded with no way out. I figured that I could at least take a number of the enemy with me if push comes to shove." There was a tense pause before you audibly swallowed. “I’m not going to let them take me.” You added with a grim determination, more than prepared to use the grenades to keep that exact thing from happening.

"Give me your location." Ghost demanded, his voice low and dangerous as he passed one of the pairs who were assigned with patrolling the perimeter of camp, neither woman daring to stop him.

“Negative, sir.” You responded without hesitation, your bold refusal to comply with a direct order bringing him up short, his dark eyes narrowing as he glowered into the middle distance, watching the plumes of dark smoke from the destroyed town rise up into the sky.

“Private-” Ghost began, his voice holding a thinly veiled threat, but his warning was cut short when you spoke again.

“I'm in the middle of enemy territory. This place is crawling with hostiles, there’s no way-” 

“That changes nothing.” Ghost shouted to be heard over your useless protests, his chest heaving as the radio in his hand creaked threateningly in his fierce grip. 

“It changes everything, Simon! Coming after me at this point is suicide!” You raised your own voice as much as you dared in response to his outburst, still aware of the danger posed by potential enemies in the area, and the uncontrollable anger wound tighter in his chest at the mere implication that he should leave you, his closest friend -someone he couldn’t bare the thought of losing- behind to die.

“The way I see it, you can either give me your location now or I can wander around the warzone until I find you.” Ghost was forced to stop and focus on his ragged breathing in order to rein in his fury when the darkness roiling just beneath his skin bled into his voice. And, once he felt more in control, he continued, his voice ice cold. “Though I feel inclined to warn you that, if you refuse me again, I’m going to make you regret not following a direct order and, mark my words, I will find you.”

There was a long moment that seemed to stretch on for hours, though it had to have been only a few minutes, where all Ghost heard was your breathing. He closed his eyes for a couple, calming seconds and focused on the rhythmic sound as he stared out at the wreckage, using it to ground him as he waited for your reply. 

Though, it honestly didn’t matter what you decided in the end because he was coming after you either way, a location would just make his trek to you that much faster.

"I'm holed up in what I'm pretty sure used to be a gas station on the south side of the town." You begrudgingly replied, every syllable that dripped from your lips laced with fury at Ghost basically forcing your hand. 

“Copy, hold your position” Ghost ordered, his eyes snapping back open before he impatiently input the coordinates you followed up with into his GPS device, letting it load the map before he spoke into the radio. “I’m twenty mikes out.” He gave you a moment to process the information, standing there until he realized that he was wasting the already very little time he still had to get you to.

"And if anything- if I don’t-" Ghost cut himself off as he began to make his way back into the rubble, various scenarios playing out in his head. You bleeding out all alone or -even worse- being found by the enemy and promptly executed, your precious, beautiful mind splattered all over the uneven ground as you stared sightlessly up at the smog-filled sky.

If he let himself think about it for too long, he began to quickly unravel, so he bottled up every emotion except for the ones that would be useful to him as he gave his rifle and gear one last through check.

"Use your grenades if I don't make it.” He finally settled on, his tone grim.

"Affirmative, sir."

[henarikat]

I can finally share this! 🥰 A little something I drew for an event in the silly lil Harvey server :3c

[shellshooked]

may i offer some telink in these trying times