#big mom just giving birth here on the battlefield.....

[hauntingblue]

NAMI NEEDS TO GO UP THERE AND FIGHT BIG MOM I AM SO SERIOUS!!! THIS IS A BATTLE FOR THE ROMANCE DOWN TRIO!! SANJI DO NOT DARE TAKE HER SPOT!!!

[lingering-42-long]

König as a Dad Dabble

König x female reader

Just a little dabble nothing much. Who should I do next?

Warnings: none

-Finding out you were pregnant-

You knew König and you wanted kids, but not this early. You two had just gotten home from your honeymoon, now you were standing in the bathroom, holding 2 pregnancy tests, both reading the +…positive. You didn’t know how to feel, if you should be crying from panic or overjoyed. You thought the birth control would be effective enough, that and you didn’t think your body could be able to produce a baby, you had Polycystic disease, it greatly reduced your chances of having a child. You had this talk with him, König knew, he loved you with or without a functioning uterus.

Now here you are in your shared bathroom holding the tests. A huge blessing, your mom would say, but right now you were scared. Not at König’s reaction, but leaving the freedom that you once had… You shook your head, this baby is a blessing, to beat the odds, you weren’t going to walk alone in this journey. You had an amazing husband, friends, and loving family on both sides to help and you and your husband on this journey. It was going to be tough but life was never meant to be easy.

“Min Engel! I’m back” You could hear the door shut followed by the heavy footsteps and the bags of groceries being placed on what you presumed to be the kitchen counter. Your mind raced as you were trying to figure out what or how you should address this. With a heavy sigh, you just simply grabbed the pregnancy tests and place the mayonnaise Ziploc bag. You wanted to tell him now, you need to know how he felt you needed comfort because you weren’t even sure what emotion to play or to feel.

Carefully making your way downstairs and placed the two tests in your back pocket as you walked over to give your husband a hug. König had really mellowed out for the three years he knew you. Everybody knew him as standoffish, quiet, sociably awkward. His team knew him for being aggressive, demanding, proud, and bold. But slowly they started to see the change, And soon he had completely been mellowed out. He was still as demanding and aggressive on the battlefield by those urges, to prove that he was better than the best pet seem to dwindle to mirror, shrugs of the shoulder and more compliments on those who beat him. In the civilian lifestyle, he was a lot more calm, less jumpy, and 1000 times more sweet.

When he saw you, he couldn’t help but smile you pulled him out of a dark moment in his life, and he cannot be more happier. That is why he called you his angel because he swore you came from heaven just to bless him with your presence. “ Ah how are you?” He drew you into a big bear hug and kissed you tenderly. He blue-grey eyes sparkled as he stroked the side of your cheek. “Um well.” You sighed, now nervous. “Ummm here” you handed him the pregnancy tests. He took them and frowned a little in concentration. Then his widened and shot his head up to look at you “Is this for real?!?” He was breathing heavily looking back at you then at the tests “Please don’t joke.”

“I’m not” you shook your head, “we are going to be parents.” König grinned like a mad man as he scooped you up into his arms and laughed as he held you tight. “Ah min Engel! This is the best news I could ever ask for!” He was swinging you around and kissing all over your face. “You’re beautiful, stunning, just…. Min scatz.” He cooed as he sat you down back on the ground, then he noticed the uncertainty in your eyes. “Whats wrong? Dont you want a baby with me?” He asked. His question made you break down crying. “I-I don’t know what I want! I want one but not this early! I love you but I don’t feel fit to be a mom. I’m selfish! I just want my freedom!” König, without second thought, brought you into another hug, this one being gentle and comforting. “Oh my beautiful. Your not selfish, your right it is too early but we can make do. I promise you can do whatever you need to do and I’ll look after the baby. I never want you to be tied down.” He stroked your head as he picked you up and carried you to the couch, right now u needed to cuddle and be reassured that everything was going to be ok.

After 20 minutes of solid crying, you finally calmed down. “Fell better?” He asked soothingly. You just nodded and kissed him. “I’m sorry-“

“don’t be, there is nothing for you to apologize for.” König smiled at you.

“You promise not to leave me?”

“Never in a million years.”

-Finding out the gender-

“Ok miss the gel is going to be a bit cold.” The doctor informed as the blue goo was placed over your four month belly. König never left your side. He had become more protective of you and baby proofed the house well before they arrived, this in turn meant you were not allowed to do much. After an argument with him, he realized he was suffocating you and did back down quite enough, but he still hung around just close enough to be there for you.

Right now he was hunched over in the seating chair next to your bed as you both watched the screen. The doctor was showing you all the signs that it was a healthy pregnancy, and the baby was…. Wait… the doctor paused and looked at the screen again before chuckling “You two are having twins!”

T-Twins?!? Your mind went blank, you had two babies in you, made by the love of you and your husband… and the 8 rounds of beer… but that was beside the point. Two beautiful babies that would look like a perfect mix between you and König. A small smile spread. “What gender are they.” You felt your husband’s hands clasp your own as he waited to know the results. “You got… 2 girls.” The doctor smiled at the happy couple. “Girls?! Min gött. Now I have to boyfriend proof the house.” You laughed at his dismay, you knew König would love his babies no matter what gender they were. He was very happy that his two beautiful girls were healthy. He reached over and gave you a big kiss. “Thank you. Thank you for making my life better.”

-König Bulking up-

As you were nearing your due date König that surprisingly gained weight as well. Apparently this was normal and very common in dad’s as their bodies were also preparing for their children. a trait that many had as the mothers near the end of their term men prepare their bodies to deal with the long nights and short amount of sleep. Their bodies naturally start bulking up on fat. by all means not fat, but you could definitely tell that he was a lot more squishier to sleep at night than he previously was. He was still as strong as a bull though.

Because he had bulked up quite a bit a lot of times while you were struggling in your sleep at night he would turn himself into your personal body pillow and reposition himself so that you would be a little bit more comfortable. A lot of times he would even hold your belly for you, whether you were sitting down and reading or watching TV or cooking in the kitchen, he would come up behind you and gently lift your belly up, which always made you feel instant relief.

He knew the pregnancy was tough on you, emotionally and physically. He was willing to put overtime to make sure that you were as comfortable as could be. In his eyes, this was the least that he could do. You weren’t ready to have a kid, but he kind of was. So he saw as his responsibility to make sure that you had the easiest pregnancy.

Right now you were snuggling with him on the couch as he was gently massaging your belly. He could feel the little girls kicking around in your stomach. He smiled and gave your head a Gentle kiss as he continued on massaging your belly. He was proud that he was able to provide for you. He was proud to know that he was the one that you chose to marry, he was proud to be the one that could give you children. This pride made him extremely happy. He couldn’t wait to share this life with you.

-After the birth-

König and you were staying in the hospital for a few days as your body was recovering from the C-section. Because of how big your babies were, they had to be removed by C-section in order to be a safe delivery. König hold onto your hand. Just the doctors opened you up and had your kids come out of the skylight. The healing was quite painful, but thankfully you had amazing family and friends to come and help with the preparations. Königs mom and dad made food to store in the freezer so all you had to do was just pull it out reheat it and eat. Both you and your husband’s friends had all brought gifts to your baby shower that you had a few weeks prior, some of them also brought food to be stored.

Right now you and König we’re both together as you were feeding your daughters. It was hard to accept the fact that these two beautiful angels came from you and your husband. They look so much like him. They had the same crinkle around their eyes, the same tuft of blonde hair, those beautiful eyes that reflected in the same way his did.

As you were feeding one, König was holding the other and gently rubbing her little head and giving her forehead gentle kisses. He was talking to her in German. Smiling and giving her more little kisses.

Once you were done you handed off the fed baby to get the other one from his arms. A very careful swap. Soon you have the other one in your arms as she quickly latched onto your breast and began sucking away. “They suck harder than you do” you teased at your husband as he turned the bright red in the face. “ not in front of them!”

“ oh, please! They’re not gonna remember this”

“ they might!”

“ ever since you saw that one episode from Sheldon your paranoid about the kids knowing their life at an early age”

You couldn’t help yourself but smile at him. During this time he had really dug in deep. he made sure that you and the girls were comfortable and taken care of. No matter what he would always watch over his family. Give them everything that he could offer. And strive to be the best husband and father in the world. He didn’t need much all he needed. Was you and his little girls.

-König and the Crotch Goblins-

“Min shatz! meine kleinen Käfer! I’m home!” he called from the door as he took his boots off. The next thing he knew he was being tackled by two three-year-old girls, who decided to sneak around the corner to bring attack him. “Ahhh nooo!!!! The evil goblins got me!!! Ahhhh! If only there was an angel to save me~” he called loud enough for you to hear, but of course you had to laugh, “This time you’re gonna have to save yourself. Your angel is busy.”

“What?! Nooo!!” he let himself fall to the ground as the girls began to climb all over him. They were very active they were always causing mischief.

You walked over to see all three of them on the floor in the living room as the kids began to pin him down as best as they could. You rubbed your now three month belly. Pregnant again with your third child.

“If the little goblins let me up I can watch a tv show with you.” he bribed the girls as they quickly got off of him, eager to please, and more eager to watch their favorite shows with him.

Before they join them in their activities, he got himself off the floor and kissed you gently. “how are you and the baby?” he asked always attentive to your needs.

“ we’re doing good” you smiled as you felt his hand lower down to your slightly bulging stomach. it was still relatively flat but he could feel a difference.

” I don’t know how you do it but you become more beautiful as each day passes.” he gave you a gentle kiss. “ let me finish dinner for you. I want you off your feet. You’ve been on it all day I’ve got it.”

You obliged. Your feet were hurting and you honestly did want to rest. So you took the place of your husband watched a TV show with the girls as König went into the kitchen to finish what was left for dinner prep. This was the life that he wanted, and he would never trade it for anything in the world.

[thecandywrites]

The Beginning of Stormbreaker Part 4 Finale

Ok, so unless you haven’t figured it out, Butternut- is my version of a Shae Nut, But the nuts are in this lovely fruit pictured above, that in my mind tastes like a creamy mango with hints of melon and papaya. And this lovely red apple looking fruit on the right is Dragon Heart Fruit which in my mind has the flavor of Lychee, mango and pinapple, still very tropical tasting. Also the lovely ladies above, on the top row on the left, that is Grat, Drad and Sarg’s mother, and on the left is Shari, Rhos’ and Esri’s mother. 

Part 4

It took over a week of going back and forth to the dragon’s lair to get all the scales and usable leather, sinew and good bones along with the dragon’s small horde of gold, jewels and other precious items, which when divided evenly between Rhosland, Esri, Drad and Sarg along with equal portions allotted to their mothers and Orcoth in addition to Rhos and Esri’s already gathered pearls which Rhos and Esri gave a portion of the pearls to their mother, Grat and Orcoth so that all seven of them would be richer, despite the failed raid while Esri and Rhos kept all the beautiful shells to keep to make jewelry later. 

Drad and Sarg happily ground down the good left over dragon bones into a fine powder back at camp while they rested and healed at remarkably fast rates, thanks to the dragon bone. By the time they had managed to forage all they could and the suits of armour for all four of them and three breast plates at least for Rhos’ and Esri’s mother as well as Orcoth, were done, they decided to head back to Skull Screamer, the four of them in the little row boat with extra large rafts tied to the boat behind them, that Sarg and Drad had built to carry all the smoked and preserved meat and fish and other foraged goods along with a few cuttings of the tree in the dragon’s cave and baskets that Drad and Sarg had woven themselves while they hung out at Rhos’ and Esri’s campsite out of the tall grasses to hold all the fruit from the tree and others and all the seeds left behind from the tree that had fallen in previous years that had been in a heap under the tree along with the fruits of the Butternut bush and hundreds of wild rose buds to make rose soap along with the ash from the smoker to get the lye to make the soap needed. 

However when they came rowing back up Skull Screamer’s main river Rhos and Esri looked worriedly to Drad and Sarg as everyone in the village looked at them like ghosts before they noticed that once they came upon Drad and Sarg’s mother’s house both of their mothers and Orcoth came out of the house as both their mothers were so happy and overjoyed to see their children come back as Drad and Sarg pulled the boat and the rafts up onto the shore as they were immediately surrounded by everyone. 

“You’re alive!” Shari cried as she embraced her daughters as her daughters embraced her in turn. 

“Of course we are alive, why did you think we were dead?” Rhos asked her mother. 

“Because Zash and his sons, got lost in fog and attacked Hurricane Breaker. And when Drad and Sarg’s horses along with many others came back without their riders and blood on their saddles, we assumed the worst and imagined that you and Esri had camped too close to the accidental battlefield and got caught up in it.” Shari cried. 

“We heard the battle but it was at a distance and we stayed inside the tent until the sounds of the battle stopped, and after the battle ended we were approached by Captain Tilge of Hurricane Breaker and her warband of shieldmaidens. But once we explained what we were doing there and that Skull Screamer must have gotten lost in the fog and had no intention of attacking and thus, we had no intent to harm them or their clan and they believed us and believed that we were younglings because of our size and saw that we were unarmed and therefore not a threat, they had no quarrel with us and left us in peace and safety and even discouraged anyone else in Hurricane Breaker from coming to us and to leave us alone. In fact they happily shared a meal with us and struck up a friendly peace with Esri and I and to signify that peace, I gave her the tribute necklace I had given to Shadi and Esri gave her the bracelet that she had made for Baka as tribute that they gave us as bride gifts when we left but when they said that Tar had been killed, we knew we weren’t going to be marrying him and when Drad and Sarg found us and we healed them from their own wounds. And when they were healed enough to walk on their own we came back.” Rhos explained to her mother and others who had come to see her for themselves. 

“What happened here while we were gone?” Rhos asked her mother. 

“Well after Zash unwittingly got lost in the fog and accidentally attacked Hurricane Breaker, he and his men died in the raid. As did all of Zash’s sons, we thought only the few men of the other warbands survived and came back and reported that everyone else had died. So almost all the people who came to deliver bride gifts before you left, came and demanded them back since you would not be brides to Tar. And it’s only because Grat opened up her home to me that I had any place to go. The whole clan thought that you and Esri’s joining Tar’s family was a bad sign of disapproval from the gods and would confuse them and thus sent the fog that caused us to lose everyone that we did, so Shadi and Baka, they burned down our house in retribution for losing Tar and in the commotion they gave birth only a few days ago, both to girls.” Shari revealed as Rhos and Esri gasped in horror as they stared at their neighbors in outrage who by now were lowering their heads in shame and backing away. 

“What kind of madness is this?! No! It was Zash’s and Tar’s own stubbornness and confusing leadership that led to us unwittingly attacking Hurricane Breaker and if it had not been for Shaman Orcoth who gave me prophetic advice that I and Sarg listened to his words and survived. And it was Rhosland and Esri who took us in and healed us and concealed us from Captain Tilge and did so in such a way to keep themselves and us above suspicion. Which takes courage and faith and loyalty. They have been blameless and Sarg and I both saw over the last week or so how Esri and Rhosland have been nothing but blessings for us. They healed us with medicine they instinctively know, they fed us from the game they were able to kill all on their own and they even shot down a bear and had victory over it. And then they found the hissing rocks which they realized wasn’t actually a cursed place but discovered that it was an old dragon’s home, the dragon had been trapped inside and had a tree growing from it’s chest to the roof of the place and when they investigated it, they collected the dead dragons scales and leather and made us these exquisite suits of armor and these weapons that have no compare and even used the bones to heal our own broken bones. Which is why we are at full health after only a week of sustaining almost fatal injuries. They are not a curse, they never were, they are our blessing and salvation and I am more than honored to have Rhos as my mate as is Sarg to have Esri. And just look what they were able to capture when they were given the right tools- they were more than successful.” Drad pointed out as he gestured to his suit of armor and then gestured to all the food and other supplies on the boat and on the rafts for emphasis as proof of what he was saying. 

“So Mother Shari- I would be more than happy to build you a house of stone and timber to replace the one of bricks that you lost. And don’t worry about anything that you lost, I will see to it that you are given at least twice what you have previously lost. Thank you Mom for doing the right thing by taking her in.” Drad declared as he grasped her hands and comforted her. 

“So, I have an announcement. Since Shadi and Baka had girls and that no one from Zash’s male line survived, as Tar’s First Commander of Captains, I hereby take the position of Warchief and I appoint Sarg as my Warlord and we will claim the neutral land that is just south of Hurricane Breaker and North of here since Rhosland and Esri are in a peace treaty with them. Since that land already gave us so much, it will give us more- still. And all those who did not get to take back their bride gifts to Rhosland and Esri are free to do so now that they are back. But know that if you do, you will not be welcome in Stormbreaker which is the clan I will be starting there, and all those that did and had a hand in burning down Shari’s house, will also not be welcome in Stormbreaker either and you will reap such unforgivable disrespect and never again will such things ever be permitted let alone tolerated.” Drad announced as Rhos had never been more proud of him as Esri and Rhosland put the tanned bear hide over their mother and comforted her and gave her, her fair share of the dragon’s horde.

Then Shari told her daughters exactly who had come and wanted what they gave back and remembered still who had given what before Esri and Rhosland spitefully got all of it out of their row boats and rafts and forced it back into the hands of those who had given it  in the first place and wanted it back even though the others, out of fear of Drad and Sarg and their new announcement had tried to go back on their word and their previous choices before Rhos and Esri simply let the gifts fall to the ground at the giver’s feet and wanted nothing to do with them before they unloaded everything else into Grat’s house which she didn’t have that big of a house to begin with but all of them did their best to squeeze themselves and all that they had foraged and hunted into it as Esri and Rhos gave Orcoth, Grat and Shari some of the dragon bone powder as it healed Orcoth immediately so that he did not have to limp as Shari and Grat both seemed to regain some of their youth and vigor and soundness of mind and body. 

“I tried to tell the clan that all of you were still alive and well but they didn’t believe me, but I think they will now.” Orcoth noted to Drad and Sarg who had readily accepted Sarg as his father also while they feasted on the smoked and preserved venison’s tenderloins and backstraps, the best parts of the venison along with the mushrooms and other foods that they had managed to forage for.  

“You should take Rhos home with you and prove to the whole clan that you’re verile though Warchief Drad.” Orcoth suggested to Drad. 

“Oh he already did.” Rhos laughed as she blushed prettily and beamed happily. 

“But he needs to prove it to everyone else. Here, burn this in the fireplace. It will help Warchieftess.” Orcoth said to Rhosland as he gave her a small sack of incense. 

“Come on, let’s show Shadi and Baka how it’s done at least.” Drad grinned giddily with a wink that made Rhos blush even harder.

“Ok fine.” Rhos agreed before she hugged everyone goodbye and took what meager possessions that her mother was able to save as Drad carried their portion of the food and other belongings to his own home that was close to Shadi’s and Baka’s house since he was the First Commander of Captains, he had the “privilege” of having a house close to Tar’s as they noticed that Rhos and Esri’s boat was now empty boats and rafts getting filled with the previous gifts that they had been given along with even more gifts and notes of deepest and most sincere apologies before Drad built a good fire in his stone fireplace before Rhos threw in small handful of incense into the fire and noticed the smell was heavenly as her whole body immediately reacted to it and she felt her whole body relax and her spirit soar and become happy as Drad then reverently made love to her with so much love and passion that Rhos lost count of how many times she had accepted her pleasure from him as the incense helped her forget all about the clan around them and Drad encouraged her to not hold back but to moan and keen and cry out in ecstacy as loud as she wanted so that he could make no mistake if he was truly pleasing her and quietly made her promise and swear to never fake her pleasure with him which she was all too happy to do as she was so overwhelmed with bliss she would have agreed to just about anything he asked of her. 

Come morning, Shadi and Baka were disgusted that they had to endure the sounds of Rhos’ and Esri’s love making and demanded that Drad and Sarg take all who wanted to follow them with them but that they needed to leave sooner than later, while anyone who wanted to stay true to Skull Screamer was welcome to stay but that anyone from Skull Screamer that left to join Stormbreaker were never going to be welcome back again when Stormbreaker failed and imploded as Rhos readily agreed to those terms as an equal Warchieftess to Shadi with the stipulation that any from Skull Screamer who wished to come into Stormbreaker would first need to make their peace with herself, her sister and especially their mother before they would be welcomed into Stormbreaker as this was announced in Skull Screamer’s town hall for the whole clan to hear. 

It took another week for everyone to pack all of their things and break their houses down to reuse the lumber and load them onto new boats they built themselves but over three quarters of Skull Screamer left to join Stormbreaker as Drad and Rhos used the stones from the Dragon’s own old lair as the foundation stones for their own house since just nearby was the wild rose bush that would take up the front yard of the home and easily pushed the stones over to make a large, surprisingly flat and even foundation that had plenty of space to dig down to make a root cellar and have a lovely inner courtyard where the original tree that had been growing from the dragon’s chest still stood. 

Others in the clan followed suit, using the very large but smooth stones from the rivers and streams to first dig down to set the foundation stones securely then build up with more stone and motar made from the clay from the little islands as they redirected all the little side streams into the main river and used the forrest of stone timbers to use for their houses before they all happily made new markers and marked out their territory, leaving a little space between Hurricane Breaker to the North, and Skull Screamer to the South and Bone Crusher to the East. 

Rhos and Esri were pleased to learn that Captain Tilge was now Warchieftess Tilge since she led the victory over Skull Screamer and between Tilge and Rhos, they made their own peace and alliance that Drad and Tilge’s husband Warchief Murzol agreed to as well as Rhos readily offered a good sized cutting of the wild rose bush to Tilge and a cutting of the Butternut Bush as well as a cutting of the tree that was in the dragon’s cave and gave them to Tilge to plant in her own home’s garden so that she could continue to have the wild rose scented soap and the fruits of the tree as Tilge taught Rhos how to make it herself and many other kinds of soap as well which Rhos readily learned and took to heart as Tilge and Rhos exchanged seeds and seedlings and saplings for the gardens of Stormbreaker and Hurricane Breaker. 

While Rhos and Drad were still living in Drad’s re-erected home on Stormbreaker’s territory next to their new home that they were building on top of the dragon’s lair, while they both worked on cutting down stone timbers to construct their new house over the stones. No sooner had they fell the first tree before a storm blew in but didn’t topple any tents or other homes but when the storm cleared, they found a fleet of ships moored and marooned on the shore of their beach that they had claimed. 

The crews of the ship were sick with scurvy and other ailments and close to death, had all the older commanding officers die from the sickness, just leaving the younger, newer orcish sailors who were barely bigger than grunts left alive. Drad offered them a choice, give up the vessels and all their cargo and they would be welcome into Stormbreaker’s clan and Rhos and Esri would use what was left the fruits and bone powder to heal them. Which the younger orcs readily accepted but they immediately knew that the fruit was known as Dragon Heart Fruit. It usually only grew on the islands that were the birthplace of dragons in the world after the convergence of the spheres and that dragons often came back to the islands to mate every so often and always had at least one seed of the fruit in their gut and when they died somewhere in the world, often the seed would sprout in a dragon’s dead guts, close to it’s heart so that it always looked like the tree sprouted from the dragon’s chest and the fruit was vaguely heart shaped and did best when planted in a gut pile of another animal when not planted as a cutting or sapling. And was famed for it’s taste along with it’s nutritional value and it’s ability to heal as well. 

The sailor orcs did not know where they were, only where they were from and have a vague where they were going and had lost their maps in the storms and their cargo was actually the goods to go into a palace of a king. And so Rhos and Drad got the first picks of all the cargos as Rhos put a special piece of paper with a mark to tag all that she wanted from all the holds, then Esri and Sarg were given their turn to stake claim to what they wanted, then Orcoth, as Stormbreaker’s shaman was given his pick of what he wanted and then Shari and Grat were also given their picks of whatever they wanted from the holds and the rest was given to the rest of the clan including the young orcish sailors who were excited to claim the goods they had coveted all this time, especially the large barrels of spices that were distributed to everyone in the clan evenly, except for Drad and Rhos who each got a triple portion, being Warchief and Warchieftess. Sarg and Esri, Orcoth, Shari and Grat were all individually given double portions as well to signify their high status as Orcoth happily claimed Grat and Shari as his wives, each of them equal in his eyes and in his heart and loved and cared for them the same way Drad cared for Rhos and the same way Sarg cared for Esri as both Shari and Grat were happy to finally have a husband who cared for them and took care of them they way they had always wanted and needed but never could manage before. 

Drad insisted that the first house to be built and finished should be Orcoth’s as his father and shaman which Orcoth happily accepted and Drad made good on his promise that both his mother and Shari both received more than double of whatever they had lost, the replacements being of much better and finer qualities than what Shari had previously lost as their house was built right next door to Drad and Rhosland’s house, Drad and Rhosland’s house being the second house to be built and finished and furnished and thanks to som ingenuity on Rhosland’s part, the foundations were stone, the floors, tiled, the walls were of stone timbers but covered in special oil and tar to preserve the timbers and then covered with a special plastar that had been in a powdered form in barrels on the ships. That once it mixed with water- became a white paste that she and others used to coat the walls and the cielings and then used the paint powders to mix special batches of plastar to paint all the rooms inside and outside the room, the most beautiful vivd colors as the house was now large enough to have dozens of rooms and a courtyard with it’s own special garden on the inside and a medicine garden and food garden on the outside, the wild rose bush being cut into two, so that she had wild rose bushes on either side of the front porch of her house and even used the special glass domes that were on the ships as skylights in her own house and even made a second story and a roof with walls and ledges and built in benches and the little stream that had been flowing into the original dragon’s cave served as her home’s own personal plumbing line to get water in and out of the house. Happy that her own years of having a mud and mudbrick house serving as the finest teacher to help her build her new house to exactly how she wanted it as Drad was only all too happy to help her realize her dream and fell in love with the sheer beauty of it all and it only served to show off how much of a beautiful person inside and out that he married and once it was done, it was just as much of a work of art as it was a home as others took what was left to decorate and build their own homes in such ways, happy to have bright, beautiful colors to decorate their homes that the warm tones of wood only accented and accentuated as they noticed the homes now had naturally warming properties in the cooler weather and cooling properties in the warmer weather. 

Sarg and Esri claimed the best captain’s quarters on the best ship as their home as once all the cargo was unloaded and the ships renovated into big fishing boats and docks were built on the beach so that the ships could anchor and be pulled up to the piers and decks and helped build a lighthouse and then the whole clan helped everyone else build their own homes all while Rhos’ and Esri’s baby bumps grew in size every day as the Shaman was adamant that Rhos and Esri were both definitely carrying sons. 

Meanwhile Shadi and Baka were fighting a losing battle. More and more of the remaining few clan members of Skull Screamer stayed because Shadi and Baka ruled and behaved in the same way they had always done which now that they didn’t have the Clan Cheif and his eldest son backing them, now others did not hide their offense to their behavior and when Shadi and Baka tried simply taking what they wanted and what they felt they were owed, for the first time in their lives- it was denied to them. 

Especially once the fleet of ships ran aground in Stormbreaker’s territory and Stormbreaker had effectively more than tripled in size and multiplied in wealth and success, to the point that the young sailors happily took on the widows and previous children of the fallen warriors of Skull Screamer after they grew bigger into full grown adults and after the widows had made amends to Rhos, Esri and especially to Shari as the widows were happy that instead of daughters being seen as a disappointment, but instead that every child was precious, they had no desire to go back to Skull Screamer. 

Plus Rhos and Esri were the opposite of Shadi and Baka. Where Shadi and Baka were domineering and demanding, Rhos and Esri simply asked how they could help each family be successful, from having full gardens with all the medicinal and flavorfull herbs and other produce to each house having at least one if not several dragon heart trees growing. Using the gut piles of the all the kills of the game to plant the seeds themselves along with Butternut saplings and wild rose saplings and to never take whatever they wanted but only when the family’s needs and wants were met, if the family truly wanted to give anything as “tribute” they would accept it but never demand it and such behavior endeared them to the whole clan as Drad, Rhos, Sarg and Esri all encouraged each family to really pursue their interests and passions and took to fishing and trading instead of raiding as almost every woman in the clan now had at least one necklace of fine pearls each woman had collected from the shellfish in the waters of the river and the sea. 

The sailors especially took after Drad’s example, along with Sarg’s and Orcoth’s and cared very lovingly and respectfully of their wives and adopted children since Drad always treated Rhos with the utmost care, respect and dignity so that all that was left of Skull Screamer now was Shadi, Baka and their mothers and their daughters, all living under Zash’s old, and by now, very leaky roof as all that was left was now their home and the clan’s old townhall, which had stood empty, unused and now forgotten as it was abundantly clear that the old prophecy was true, that Skull Screamer would fall when under the guidance of a lone Clan Cheiftess or Warchieftess with no Clan Cheif or Warchief. 

Once Rhos and Esri both went into labor at about the same time and both gave birth to sons- who Drad and Rhosland named their son Brock and Sarg and Esri named their son Cugas as both boys were almost identical and had heard that all who got to see them praised how big and healthy and handsome both baby boys were before even more babies were born the clan and much rejoicing took place. 

Shadi and Baka had to humble themselves and admit defeat. They were almost out of food, soap, clothing, wood for their cooking fires and hearth even after taking down the other remaining houses and using them as fuel for their fires and what was left of all the gardens and thus- out of options. And came for Brock and Cugas’ birth festivals when they were one month old and out of danger and came wearing the best garments they had left to offer Rhos and Esri congratulations and to see Brock and Cugas who were themselves the most handsome baby boys they had ever seen because they both took after their mothers but they could still clearly see some of Drad’s and Sarg’s strong and handsome features in their sons. 

“We have come on this most blessed day to offer our congratulations and a truce.” Shadi began. 

“What was wrong with the agreement we agreed on a year ago?” Rhos asked curiously as she sat in her rocking chair on her porch and rocked Brock who slept blissfully away in her arms as Esri was next to her and also sitting in a rocking chair doing the same to Cugas, each woman having special puffed quilts over them and their sons. 

“Skull Screamer has fallen, all that is left of it is us. And if you do not help us, we and our daughters will die of starvation, we can find no fish or any game or anything to eat on Skull Screamer’s lands. And all those who had at first agreed to stay true to Skull Screamer have left it to join the greater Stormbreaker and seeing it’s success, we can not blame them and we hold no grudge against them or you. In fact, if you will agree to help us, we give up all rights to all of Skull Screamer’s lands to Stormbreaker, and all we ask in exchange is a place in Clan Stormbreaker. And a space to have a home.” Shadi explained as she bowed her head submissively. 

“But since we are the warchieftess’ and warlordess’ won’t you take us into your home? We will happily submit to Rhos as Warchieftess and or Esri as Warlordess and be second and or third wives to them, just like they were going to be to us had Tar survived.” Baka pleaded as Rhos gave Drad a meaningful look as he gave her a reassuring smile from his place next to her before he got up from his chair and stood on his porch above them and crossed his arms over his chest, still wearing that dragon scale armor proudly. 

“I, Clan Chief Warchief Drad of Stormbreaker do accept all of Skull Screamer’s lands from your hands, and since you all have humbled yourselves to come and ask, you are now welcome to stay as clan members of Clan Stormbreaker. However, I will never let you into my home or my household because I will never tolerate any disrespect to my Clan Cheiftess Warchieftess Rhosland, who is my wife, my mate, my better half and my greatest friend and ally. Because lest you forget, I was there, sitting in the grasses when you came to Rhosland a year ago, to offer her- her own tributes to you- as your bride gifts to her - when Tar had announced that he would have her then but never got a chance to fully claim her. And I listened as both of you threatened Rhosland with death by drowning if she ever tried to usurp you or come between you and Warlord Tar. And I will never tolerate any threat or disrespect in any way, shape or form to her. And I honestly do not trust either you or your mothers to not harm Rhosland or her mother or sister or especially our son or Esri’s son who are still young and could still fall victim to you.” Drad leveled as Shadi and Baka both balked at him and stared in terror at him and flushed with shame or embarrassment. 

“We did no such thing!” Shadi insisted. 

“My girl is a good girl, she would never do that!” Shadi’s mother insisted. 

“Really? Because I was there with Esri, also sitting in the grasses, out of your sight but well within hearing range, as you came and put those bracelets on her wrists and threatened her with similar things, are you calling the Clan Cheif Warchief and the Warlord of Clan Stormbreaker liars?” Sarg challenged angrily as he stood up and stood next to his brother and took a similar stance, with his arms crossed over his chest, standing between them and his own beloved wife. 

“Shaman Orcoth, would you please shed light on this matter and make things clear for the whole clan?” Drad invited as he looked over at the other rocking chairs on his porch which Orcoth, Shari and Grat had taken up as Shari and Grat were still knitting baby clothes for their grandsons.  

“Of course Warchief Drad. It would be my pleasure.” Orcoth grinned as he cast a spell and showed the whole thing, including all the cursing Shadi and Baka had done on the way too and from meeting with Esri and Rhosland as the whole clan gasped and murmured as they watched in horror the way Baka and Shadi were so domineering and just awful and led the attack on Shari and her humble old house and Grat’s kindness and compassion in saving Shari and what meager possessions she could before the show ended before Shadi and Baka’s mothers took the babes from their daughter’s arms and forced Shadi and Baka to kneel and bow down on their hands and knees with their foreheads touching the ground and started yelling and berating their “wicked” daughters for behaving so indecently and disrespectfully and pleaded for Drad and Sarg to show mercy and leniency on account of Baka’s and Shadi’s daughters who had started to cry by now which woke up Cugas and Brock and got them to start crying as well which upset Rhosland and Esri along with Drad and Sarg as Esri and Rhosland did all they could to comfort and console their sons as they brought their sons into Rhosland’s house to take a rest on the wonderfully comfortable couches that had been put there. 

“What do you think we should do?” Drad asked Rhosland. 

“Well now that everyone effectively knows that they are a bunch of liars. No one will trust them not to fall into the same pattern of behavior. But at the same time, their daughters have no choice in who their mothers are and they are still young and they shouldn’t have to suffer on account of their mothers. So let’s let them stay, but a very far distance away from our home, let them keep their old home, and they can turn it into a brothel for all I care.” Rhos answered him. 

“Agreed.” Esri grinned. 

“Agreed.” Sarg grinned too. 

“Very well.” Drad nodded before he came back out to see that everyone was still there, waiting to see how Drad would react and how he would respond. 

“On account of your daughters, who should not have to suffer on their mother’s account. You are allowed to be members of Clan Stormbreaker and you are allowed to either remain in your old house, or you may choose to rebuild here, that is your choice. But I warn any man in Stormbreaker from taking either of you as a bride, for no man would want such a wife as what you two have proven yourselves to be. Use whatever talents you have to earn your living here. And if you have none, then you can always turn your old home into a tavern which would be helpful, or possibly a brothel which in that case, neither Sarg or myself will ever use, your choice.” Drad announced as Baka and Shadi gasped in horror before their mothers slapped their hands over their daughter’s mouths to keep them from saying anything more. 

“A tavern it will be then, thank you Clan Chief Warchief Drad.” Shadi’s mother graciously accepted on her daughter’s behalf as their old friends agreed to help build them before Drad went back into his house to be with his family and disbursed everyone so they could go about their day. 

“So, a tavern it is.” Rhosland grinned since she could hear from the window in the wall. 

“Yup, the first, of hopefully many.” Drad smiled before he sat next to his wife and enveloped her in a hug and kissed her sweetly as they both looked down at their son who was now awake and cooing softly to both of his parents. 

“Just one thing, you’re not allowed to marry Shadi’s or Baka’s daughters when you grow up unless they are nothing like their mothers and you really, truly love them.” Rhosland told Brock which got Drad to laugh before Esri repeated that to Cugas too before there was a knock on the door and Drad got up to answer it before he found one of Sarg’s first mate. 

“Warlord Sarg, there is a small merchant ship, that is trying to go up river to a city further up river, it’s requesting assistance in help guiding the ship up the river to the next clan’s lands, they are headed to the mountains in the east, said that there are towns called colonies in the mountains that they are trying to sell their goods to and are willing to pay us a fee of gold now and another fee in gold on the way out if we are willing to do it.” He reported before Drad and Sarg shared a meaningful look and both nodded to each other.  

“Hell yeah, that’s an easy yes.” Sarg easily agreed before he got up and left the house to direct the other sailors on the shore to guide the ships using ropes on the shoreline to maneuver through the twisting and winding river before more and more merchant ships came to do the same, grateful that there was now a settlement here so that they could simply pay these orcs a small fee both to and from the mountain colony of Suchi as they brought in their vessels full of goods and would leave, having the boats laden with heaps of gold, happy and grateful that they didn’t have to use Hurricane Breaker’s river because Hurricane Breaker was bigger and stronger and demanded to inspect them and their cargo and demanded a portion of the goods, usually the best ones and half of all that they had, and a half portion of the gold the remaining half of the goods sold for at Suchi’s sister colony Twilla that their rivier eventually led to. And for just a flat fee, they could now make more money using this new clan of Stormbreaker and sell whatever didn’t sell at Suchi as part of their fee too. 

And thus was the beginning of Stormbreaker. 

[silvermoonartworks]

Hayatama Island and Crest

Hello, I’m back again talking about Hayatama Island, a island where my Fire Emblem Three Houses’s OC came from. This time, I;m going to talk about Hayatama Island as well culture on there.

As you can guess from the island name and also when you reading all the information on my previous post, Hayatama Island is heavily based on Japanese culture. From the culture to the government, me and my friend decided to base them from there.

As you see from this map, Hayatama Island is located between Foldan. Almyra and Morfis. They relative small island and very isolated at first due to very big incident in the past. Involving the dead of their island patron, a pair of Nabatea named Izanami and Izanagi.

Hayatama Kingdom Banner and Amber Phesant’s Banner

As I previously mention. Amber Pheasant ‘s symbol is a pheasant bird. According to Hayatama’s history, this type of bird has help the first ruler of Hayatama finish his quest and receive the crest of Izanami, that become the sole prove that some one is a member of Imperial Family, the monarch who rule this Island.  

Original crest for this Headcanon, from right : Izanami, Izanagi, Hirume, Yugetsu, and Muto

Before we get into the original Crest that me and my friend made for this head canon. I want to explain about this island constitution state and the line of succession.

This place ruled by pair of Emperor/Empress and Shogun. Both of monarch succession as well other Noble family that lived in this island is base on their : crest -> Their birth mother status -> lastly their birth order, the eldest got to be crown as the successor (I don’t know how to translate them in English. I’m sorry).  

For Example with our four noble kid :

Takuto born with a minor crest of Izanami, she born as youngest daughter from Fujiwara family and born from official wife of her father. Her elder brother, possessed the major crest of Izanami, so he become the crown prince instead of her.

Yukiie born with major crest of Izanagi, he born as youngest son from house of Matsudaira but crown as Matsudaira heir because his mother is the only official wife of his father. All of his older siblings from is out from favor to be successor because they either born with a minor crest or being born form a concubine.

Saiko from house of Hasiba, born with major crest of Hirume. She born as eldest daughter of her mom, the current head of Hasiba Family with her official husband. Because of that, She been crown as the heir of Hasiba Family. 

lastly, Tadamori born with minor crest of Yugetsu, he born as eldest son from his mother, the official wife of his father. But he soon out of favor as successor line because his younger brother, born with a major crest.

I hope the explanation wasn’t weird, I get really struggle explaining it in English. Now I’m going to explain about each crest patron and little bit history why these Nabathean could live in there.

Long time ago, the goddess Sothis visit the island of Hayatama. Thru her kindness she help the people who live in the island to prosper. The people who lived in the island respectfully call her as ‘Okami-sama’ and build a temple under her name. Before she left, she gave birth to several Nabathean to help island people, including the pair Izanami and Izanagi who eventually become patron foundation of Hayatama’s kingdom establishment.

Now let me give insight about the each patron,

Crest of Izanami - The Crest from Izanami, originally came from Izanami. She gave the first Emperor her crest as thank you for helping her husband, Izanagi at war. She granted him to create Hayatama kingdom for humanity prosper . 

Crest of Izanagi - Izanagi is the patron of this crest, a blood knight who enjoy a good fight. He gave it to the first Shogun, his best buddy because she’s dying on the battlefield. Just like his wife, he grant permission of Hayatama Kingdom creation for humanity prosper.

Crest of Hirume - Hirume is the eldest daughter of Izanami and Izanagi. She knows every single island culture and festival by heart because she helping her parents to create them. The Patron of the Hasiba temple and family, she along side her brothers sometimes giving their opinion and order to emperor and shogun.

Crest of Yugetsu - Yugetsu the second son of Izanami and Izanagi. when Hirume know every single culture, he record and preserve every single history of Hayatama in his roll like diary. The patron of knowledge and education of Hayatama as well the Owari family. He often pretend to be human lecture of Hayatama school under alias ‘Mochizuki’. Had beef with the Hayatama’s scholar.

Crest of Muto - Muto, the youngest son of Izanami and Izanagi. He likes to travel around Hayatama island after his parents death. The patron of youth and Genke family. He currently settle back to Genke family to help taking care the current heir.

Aside five crest I mention above. There’s actually one more crest that we personally call, a lost crest of Matsudaira. I didn’t mention right in here because we haven’t finish creating the story for it.

I think thats all I can share about Hayatama’s culture for now. I will continue to talk about the character in next post.

[losingmymindtonight]

“Daddy?”

Tony looked up in surprise. It wasn’t often that Morgan wandered into his office when her favorite cartoon was on. It had weird animation, revolved around something like a family of ducks. He watched it with her, sometimes, but it never really made much sense.

“Hey, honey.” He beckoned her closer, and she eagerly made her way up to his chair. It was a display of comfort that he never would’ve showed with Howard, and he always cherished those moments. Little specs of validation. “What’s up?”

“Is Peter coming over today?”

He blinked. Morgan asking for Peter wasn’t out of the ordinary, per say, but it was strange that she was asking if he was coming on a school day. She usually understood that the kid had to stay in the city during the week, despite how much she didn’t like it.

“No.” He watched her expression carefully. “Peter’s at school.”

Her face fell. “Oh.”

“Why, darling?” He brushed his palm over the crown of her head. “Is everything alright?”

“I wanted to ask him a question.”

“Well,” he smiled softly, “I’m quite good at answering those too, y’know. Why don’t you run it past me, and if we can’t solve it on our own, then we’ll give Peter a call, m’kay?”

Morgan bit her lip. “We wrote our names at playgroup.”

He nodded. Pepper had told him about that, sent him a photo of Morgan, purple marker in hand and face twisted up in concentration, carefully tracing the outline of Morgan Stark beside a bunch of other kids.

“I heard. Mom said you did a great job.”

The praise didn’t light up in her eyes like it usually did. Instead, she kept gnawing on her bottom lip, obviously deep in thought. “I finished early so I got to do more names. I did yours, and Mommy’s, and Peter’s.” She stared up at him, full of that childlike intuition that constantly took his breath away. “Is Peter not my brother?”

Well, okay. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting.

“What’re you talking about? Of course he is.”

Logically, he understood that this question had been inevitable. Morgan couldn’t dwell within the cabin’s walls forever. Eventually, the world was bound to start shoving concepts of DNA matches and blood is thicker than water into her head. To most people, brothers were defined by genetics. Your mother birthed you, and your mother birthed your brother, and therefore you were siblings.

There was, as usual, little thought given to the outliers.

So, yes, he’d known. He’d known that this was coming. He and Pepper had even prepared for it, had talked about it before. And yet hearing it out loud was jarring. It had taken him so long, through wars and loss and reunions on battlefields, to finally understand that Peter had always been his kid. Sure, he didn’t donate any genes to his DNA, but that didn’t matter. In fact, nothing had ever mattered less.

“Mommy said that too,” Morgan muttered, face scrunched up in frustrated contemplation, “but Miss Chrissy helped me write his name and when I told her that his other name was Parker and not Stark she looked at me funny and then Katie’s mommy said that that meant he wasn’t my real brother.”

Cool. Awesome. Time to kill Katie’s mom. The next PTA meeting was gonna be awkward as hell.

He took a deep breath. These were… these were the hard moments of parenting. Trying to explain the complicated things without screwing it all up. But he’d done it before. He’d explained both Peter’s absence and sudden reappearance. He’d explained the loss of his arm and the ugly scarring on his face. He’d explained tragedy, and joy, and everything in between.

He could explain this bit, too. Or, at least, he probably could.

“Well, first of all, Katie’s mom is wrong.”

Morgan frowned. “You’re not supposed to say that about adults. Miss Chrissy said so.”

“Well, Miss Chrissy’s wrong, too. Adults aren’t always right.”

“Even you?”

He snorted. God, if only Peter was here. He’d be getting a real kick out of this. “Yeah, even me.”

“So Peter is my brother?”

“Of course he is. It’s just… Peter’s your brother in a special way.”

The concept seemed to glitter through Morgan’s face. She didn’t look confused or frustrated or sad anymore. She looked intrigued.

“How?”

Oh. He… hadn’t exactly processed that having this conversation also meant having the how babies are made conversation. How did he end up with all the hard parenting moments? Where the hell was Pepper when he really needed her?

“Well, see, your mom and I made you together,” he said slowly, really hoping that he could dodge the specifics of how they made her. “You’re half her, and half me. Do you want to learn a really big word?”

“Yeah!”

“Since your mom and I both made you, that means that you’re our biological child.”

“Is Peter not your bio,” Morgan’s face screwed up as she chewed through the new word, “biological child?”

“No, squirt, he’s not.” Although there are moments that I wonder, believe me. “Remember how I told you that May is basically Peter’s mom?”

“Mhm.”

“Well, he’s not her biological child, either.” He paused. This next bit was the really hard part. He’d set it up, but now he actually had to explain. “A lot of times, people become parents the way that your mom and I did when we had you. They get together and they make a biological kid. But sometimes, people become parents because they adopt kids.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that they pick them,” he said, because that was genuinely the simplest way he could think to put it. “They choose to become their parents.”

“Why?”

“Well, some kids don’t have any parents of their own, because they left or passed away, so that means that other people, like me and your mom and May, get to take care of those kids.”

Morgan nodded, thoughtful. “So you became Peter’s parent ‘cause his first mommy and daddy died?”

“Sort of.” He smiled gently. “It can get really, really complicated, but none of it actually matters, because this is all you need to know.” He bopped her on the nose. “Peter is 100%, without a doubt, certifiably your brother. It doesn’t matter if you’re not both my biological kids, you’re still my kids. Period, done, end of story. Oh,” he added, smirking, “and Katie’s mom is an idiot.”

Morgan glared. “Mommy said that it isn’t nice to call people that word.”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Damn Pepper and her genuinely optimistic life lessons.

“And it isn’t very nice of Katie’s mom to tell people who is and isn’t their brother either, is it?” He countered.

Morgan looked nonplussed at that. Eventually, she shrugged in defeat. “I don’t think Katie’s mom meant to make me sad.”

Jesus. These kids. They were going to be the death of him.

“I’m sure she didn’t.” Because if she did, I’m really gonna kill her. “Do you understand now, squirt?”

“Yeah!” She responded, previous trepidation forgotten. “Peter’s my brother ‘cause you decided that he is. ‘Cause you chose Peter.” She grinned. “That’s so cool! Like picking out a puppy from the shelter!”

Oh, boy. He was definitely telling the kid about that analogy later. He would never live it down.

“Exactly,” he said, biting back a laugh. “And if you’d like, you can tell Katie’s mom that next time you see her. That way, she doesn't accidentally make anybody else sad.”

Morgan’s face brightened at the thought. It was obvious that she hadn’t picked up on the sarcasm in Tony’s voice. Which, of course, had been the point.

“That’s a good idea, Daddy!”

He winked. “I’m full of those, you know.”

And, sure, Pepper was probably going to kick his ass after Morgan schooled Katie’s mom in How Not To Be An Asshole next playgroup session, but it would be totally worth it.

He’d have to have F.R.I.D.A.Y. hack into the playgroup’s security cameras. That was one event that he just couldn’t miss.

[lisinfleur]

Midwife?

The request:

Author’s Notes | I don’t really believe Ivar would know what to do, but I think it’s funny to have a man of that times narrating such an unknown moment for them! 

Universe | Vikings

Pairing | Ivar x Reader

Info | Viking Age AU, requested by @sallydelys​ for 5CW7

Words | 1992

⁑ Warnings: Mentions of blood, graphic description of labor and childbirth. Keep in mind that this document may contain clinical/medical mistakes.

Middle Winter.

How the hell did I come up to get my wife heavily pregnant right in the middle of the Winter?

Y/N was swollen like a balloon, ready to pop. And I was nervous as fuck with the proximity of that event. Our firstborn child.

Something I never thought could be possible.

"Where is daddy?"

Shit.

I had called Floki through a slave that left what... three hours before the snow started falling outside again? I could bet Floki wouldn't come and I would have one less slave in my house cause that girl would end up frozen outside my house. Damn snow!

"He was supposed to be here already, love, but the snow started falling outside again. I think we may have to wait a little longer."

"I want my dad..." she cried.

Shit. Again.

Y/N was my everything. My queen, the love of my life, my first, my one, and only. But fuck... Since she got pregnant, she was completely changed, every day acting with a different mood... She was driving me crazy!

Mom told me it was the pregnancy, that I should be patient. But things sometimes would run out of my control and we would fight for hours! Just to end up with her tightly embraced on me, saying she could never live without me as much as I couldn't imagine my life without my Y/N.

Things didn't get better with the Winter arriving and her final months making her less able to move around. She wanted to walk, to go out, but the midwife told her to stay more inside the house since she started feeling dizzy once again. There was built the battlefield: she even tried to sneak out of my sight once! Imagine how good it was to have to bring my wife back home, crying because she wasn't able to reach the central square and almost fell in the middle of the way.

Since then, we thought it would be safer to be with her at Floki's cabin. Floki could help me to take a look at her, Helga could help me to keep her entertained. Their slaves could do everything for us and she would be safe when the time to give birth has come. Perfect!

If Bjorn didn't have decided to ask for a bunch of boats in the middle of the fucking Winter.

I would castrate my brother if I could! Why the fucking damn heck did Björn wanted to navigate the gods' damn sea in the middle of the freezing Winter? Couldn't he fucking wait my wife to give birth before taking Floki out of our cabin right in the day Helga said she finished my mother's dress and had to leave too?

Now we were completely alone and my little precious balloon was sadly mourning around because somehow, she wasn't feeling well and wanted her father exactly when he couldn't be there for her.

"Babe, you shouldn't be out of the bed," I complained, walking towards her when she sprouted at the living room's door, in her nightgown, walking slow like a little swollen duck.

My charming swollen duck I loved so badly.

"But Ivar... I'm not feeling well. I don't wanna stay in bed. The baby's feet are on my ribs and I can't breathe," she complained when I slowly started guiding her into our room once again.

"I know. So, we can walk a little through our room ok? Come," I insisted, ready to open the door when she held herself on the wall, pressing my shoulder with the other hand and moaning in a tone I didn't want to hear in a million years.

Her body bent forward and she let go of the wall to touch her belly.

She was in pain...

Her eyes, full of fear found mine, full of affliction.

And then, that happened.

A small moment of silence before a wet sound denounced the water flowing in the middle of her legs, making a poll around her feet.

"Ivar..." she mumbled.

"Fuck!" I answered.  

Right before she bent once again, this time, growling in pain.

"Fuck!!" I cursed again, trying to guide her with me to the bed.

Cursing my legs for not being able to lift her into my arms.

Cursing the snow for not being able to go out for a midwife.

Cursing Floki for leaving with Helga.

My mom for ordering that stupid dress. Björn for wanting his stupid boats!

May Thor smite them down into the ocean!

"Ivar... It hurts! It hurts so bad!" she cried when we finally reached the bed to lay her down.

Fuck! I was the younger of my brothers! Ubbe had seen my mother giving birth to three after him! Hvitserk? Two. Even Sigurd would be able to do something if he wasn't so young when I was born! But what did I know about birth and labors?

Shit! I knew shit about it! I slid my hands through my hair looking at her. And Y/N noticed I was completely lost.

"You need... To boil water... And you need to bring the towels that are at my mother's locker. Be careful when you get the towels wet into the water. It will help me with the pain and... you with the... blood!" she growled the last word, bending forward again.

And I almost could see her big belly contracting.

Blood? Blood.

Blood... Yeah. I remember Ubbe saying my birth was full of that shit and that he was scared of seeing the maid coming in with towels and out with red clothes dip in our mother's blood.

I wasn't ready for that shit!

I wasn't raised for that shit!

Fuck Björn's boats! A thousand times!

I sat down, getting rid of my braces - dragging I would be quicker and it wasn't time to be prideful. I then went to the heart of fire, placing a big pan I found at the kitchen over the fire and bringing water into it until it was full.

I could hear Y/N grunting inside the room, trying to breathe. And I then looked outside, seeing the snow becoming higher.

"Damn... Damn! Why the fuck are you doing this to me?" I asked the gods, lowering my head for a moment. "Frigg... Mother... I beg you, guide my hands. And for the gods' sake, end this damn storm!"

The water took some time to get hot enough so I could bring a pot to the room with the towels, leaving the bigger pan with more water to boil at the fire.

When I came into the room, Y/N was sitting in the bed, her back supported by the pillows, her knees flexed as she was breathing quickly, short.

"What do I do now?" I asked, looking at her.

About to panic at the sight of the big poll of blood that had been formed in the middle of her legs and that I was able to see as soon as I got up to the bed.

"Calm down, Ivar," she grunted, looking at me. "I'll bleed. This... This is supposed to happen. Gimme a warm towel," she asked.

And I did what she said, seeing when she placed it over her belly.

"I want you to place another in the middle of my legs, over the bed, ignore the blood, Ivar... Just... Place it over it."

Again, I did what she said, confused.

"Ivar," she called, causing me to look at her. "I want you to stay where you are. And when our child comes... You'll hold it, did you hear me?"

H... Hold it?

"You mean..." I moved my hands, looking at her.

"Take off your... gloves!" Another word grunted and I saw her pushing as something started showing up in her entrance.

And for a moment I was totally taken by that vision at the same time magic and bizarre, intense and terrifying.

My child would be born... And I would be the first one to hold it into this world.

That mix of feelings took me as I was removing my gloves, washing my hands on the water to get them clean.

What I was doing was more than I ever thought I was able to do. But what she was doing there, facing all that pain to bring my dream into this world...

What were all the fights we had?

What was the anger we had against each other?

What was everything in the face of all that love?

I raised my face to look at her. My sweaty, tired, and panting wife, putting all her efforts on pushing our child out of her belly, into this world. Her whole strength, focused only on making my dream become reality.

If she was strong enough to face all that pain for me, then I could face my fears for her.

"It's coming!" she warned, and I approached as she started pushing one more time, allowing me to support our child's head, watching as its whole body slowly came out from her body entirely, finally permitting her to sigh in relief as a strange bag of blood and meat came out as well, connected to our child by the cord.

"Oh, gods..." she cursed, relaxing in bed. "What is it, Ivar? How is my child?" she questioned.

But I was too wondered, astonished, looking at the baby moving in my hands, bothered by the air, by the temperature, by the mere sound of my breath - all new things he wasn't prepared for yet.

"Ivar?" She called, worried.

The fear growing in her voice again just to die completey when her eyes found my image, hands bathed in her blood I was now completely able to ignore, holding our child over that wet and warm towel we placed under her legs.

"It's a boy," I muttered, teary.

And our voices seemed to bother him even more because my son's forehead frowned and his voice could be heard a quarter further away from that house in such a strong cry I could never describe with my own words.

It was alive, full of strength, experimenting life for the first time...

In my hands.

I giggled, completely taken by that experience as Y/N showed me how to cut the cord, clean our baby with the towel, gently packing him in a dry towel so she could bring him against her chest, offering him the breast he accepted in goodwill, hungrily suckling from her.

I watched that scene in awe.

It was Frigg herself, with Baldr in her arms. My own goddess with our child against her chest, the product of her womb, the fruit of our love.

"We've heard the cry of a... Oh, gods... It's here, Floki!" I've heard Helga's voice and I knew she arrived at the bedroom's door such as Floki also arrived, too late to help. Soon enough to see the same wonder I was watching now.

I felt his heavy hand landing on my shoulder, but I didn't want to take my eyes from my beautiful Y/N with our son in her arms, to look at his teary eyes.

"Welcome to the boat of the ones who have already seen the gods, son," he mumbled, giggling that characteristic way of his to laugh.

But I smiled bigger, looking at Y/N who smiled back at me.

She was sweaty, covered in blood, and tired. But I was sure I would never see a woman more beautiful in the whole Miðgarðr.

"No, my friend... I didn't see the gods. A goddess lays in my bed every night. And she produced life as a gift to me."

Floki giggled again. I was speaking of his daughter after all.

But at that moment, all I could think was that if being whole was the best thing in this world, it should feel exactly like the feeling I had in my chest by looking at Y/N.

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[theladyofdeath]

The Cadre {19}

A Throne of Glass, 1920s Period AU.

Summary: Orynth became Aelin Galathynius’s kingdom the moment the Prohibition began. She sang every night, the voice of the city’s underground world, her cousin selling the liquor that was banned by the authorities. She was living the dream, young and free, until the Cadre, until Rowan Whitethorn, came into her life.

Since Rowan Whitethorn returned from war, everything had changed. His aunt wants to take his crown, old enemies have returned as business partners, and he can’t sleep without feeling as if he’ll be suffocated by the memories of war. Little did he know that when he came back home he would be leaving one battlefield and entering another.

All characters belong to SJM. I am no more than a fan with a plot.

**Warning: mature content - language, alcohol use, drug use, sex, murders and shit.

A/N: The one before the finale....and the finale is a long one.

After chapter 20, I’ll be starting  In the Bleak Midwinter {The Cadre, Part 2} If I’ve tagged you in this, I’ll tag you in that, too! x

Links:

The Cadre Masterlist

Full Fanfic Masterlist

My Askbox

Days had passed before Gavriel found the nerve to approach Aedion’s office. The next day, they would have to come together to face Arobynn’s men, so it was now or never. After a hesitant knock, Gavriel pushed opened the door.

It was humorous, really, how nervous he was to meet with his own child. Gavriel had met with Aedion on a handful of occasions, and yet, this was the most nervous he’d ever been encountering another human being. 

Aedion was surprised when he entered, setting down the report he’d been reading.

“Gavriel,” he said, in way of greeting.

“Aedion,” Gavriel nodded.

“Sit, please,” he said, quietly.

Gavriel nodded, sitting in the seat across from Aedion’s desk.

“I assume you got my letter,” Aedion said. 

Clearing his throat, Gavriel nodded. “Yes, Lysandra got it to me. I, um, I’m sorry it’s taken me a few days to come here…”

“I’ve waited nineteen years,” Aedion said, leaning back in his chair. “A few more days didn’t kill me.”

It was guilt that settled in the pit of Gavriel’s stomach, but he deserved it. “Right. Well...Look, Aedion….”

“Did you know?” Aedion asked, when it was clear Gavriel was at a loss for words. “Did you know that you were my father?”

Gavriel hesitated, but then he answered, honestly, “Yes.”

Aedion nodded, jaw locking, disappointed.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to be a part of your life, Aedion,” Gavriel went on, desperately. “But, I was a part of the Cadre already then, and your mother was an Ashryver. There was bad blood between our groups, and after your mother passed, and you were placed in Rhoe and Evalin’s care...well, they didn’t know, you see, who I was. Your mother had lied to protect me, claiming that your father was some random, low-life man who wanted nothing to do with you. It was easier that way, she claimed, and your mother was a stubborn woman. Especially when it came to you.”

Aedion nodded, thoughtfully. “I see.”

“You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to approach you,” Gavriel breathed. “I have wanted so desperately to know you, but I eventually reached the conclusion that it was nothing more than a dream. We were so young when Saoirse got pregnant, we weren’t sure at all what to do. Especially me. By the time your mom told me to stay away….It was selfish, Aedion, but it was easier. Then, after she died, I knew you were in good hands, and I didn’t want to disrupt the peace.”

Aedion’s eyes fell. “I see,” he repeated, then he asked, “Did you love her, though? She certainly seemed to love you.”

“Very much,” Gavriel breathed. “Your mother...was an incredible woman. Kind, smart, sarcastic…” Gavriel chuckled as his words faded away. “She loved me, and I had no idea why, but she did. When I found out she was pregnant, I was ecstatic. Then, when I found out she passed…” He shook his head, slowly. “I had a lot of regret. Words left unsaid, time spent apart. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to be a part of your childhood.”

Aedion was silent for a long moment.

His turquoise, gold-rimmed eyes, that reminded Gavriel so painfully of his late love, were full of distress, confusion. But then he asked, “Could you tell me more about her? My mom?”

Gavriel let loose a long, slow breath. “Of course, anything you want to know.”

Aedion nodded, but said nothing more.

Gavriel supposed there wasn’t a lot to say. He’d never been in a situation where he wanted to say so much but also so little at the exact same time. It was complicated, to say the least.

“Perhaps we can meet at the pub one night, then,” Aedion went on. “And you can tell me stories about her. About your time together.”

Gavriel was nodding before he was even done, “Of course. I’d like that.”

“Good,” he said. “Tomorrow night? After the shit with Arobynn, of course.”

“Of course,” Gavriel said. “I’ll be there.”

“Okay,” Aedion said.

“Okay,” Gavriel said, unable to stop his smile. Then he was standing, and saying goodbye. When he walked out, and the door shut behind him, he fell back against the wall, covering his face with his hands.

Aedion.

His son.

His son that looked just like Saoirse.

He was ready to know, to learn, to hear, to listen.

And Gavriel wanted so badly to prove himself. 

Tomorrow, after their fucked up shit with Arobynn was done, Gavriel would tell him everything. They’d sit together, and Gavriel would reminisce, and Aedion would learn about his parents, about how he came to be. 

And it was the thought that unraveled him.

But Gavriel quickly dried his eyes, adjusted his hat, and swept out on the streets of Orynth, hands shoved into his pockets. 

~~~~~

Elide looked in the mirror, nude, running her hands over her abdomen, even though nothing had happened to it yet. Even so, she felt the change. She knew there was a life growing inside of her, but the moment it was confirmed by her doctor in the city, her entire outlook changed.

It was half her, half Lorcan, a little, innocent infant, growing inside of her. In eight months or so, she would be giving birth to a little girl or boy, one that hopefully looked like their father but had their mother’s temper.

Their father’s temper was a little much.

A baby.

Elide couldn’t get over it.

She was going to have a baby.

Lorcan’s baby.

“You look like a hell of a conversation is going on inside of your mind,” Lorcan muttered from where he laid in her bed.

Elide rolled her eyes. “Just thinking about how I’m going to be looking like a whale in no time.”

Lorcan had been supportive the past few days. Even after their fight days before, things were going better than ever. 

“A beautiful whale,” Lorcan muttered, eyes falling shut. It was growing late, and the time was ticking by. Before they knew it, it would be tomorrow, and tomorrow was a big day. 

“Are you ready?” Elide asked, as the thought ran through her mind. “For tomorrow.”

“It’s not the first gang war I’ve ever been in,” Lorcan mumbled, eyes still shut. And Elide heard his unanswered comment, It probably won’t be the last.

“I’ll be here, waiting,” she said, calmly, still looking in the mirror, if only to avoid him. Not because she wanted to, because the anxiety of what the next day would bring was too much. “When it’s finished.” 

Lorcan said nothing, and when she turned around, he was still laying on her bed, his arms behind his head, his eyes closed. 

“Is this what it will be like?” Elide asked. “Being with you? Having you as a husband? A father to my child? Constantly in fear that you’ll be shot and killed?”

“I’ve been shot multiple times,” Lorcan muttered, eyes still shut. “Never killed.”

“You’re not invincible,” Elide mumbled. 

“No,” Lorcan agreed. “I’m not.”

There was no point in arguing, no point in fighting, no point in bringing up the pain that tomorrow might bring, because it wouldn’t do any good. This was who Lorcan was, this was his life, this was the way it would be. This is how he would support Elide and their child, by living this life, by doing business with Rowan Whitethorn. 

Being against it wouldn’t do her, or their baby, any good.

“You worry too much,” he continued, at last. “I’ll be fine. I’ve always been fine.”

“You better be fine,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I still have to give you my answer.”

He’d asked her to marry him, and she claimed she would let him know once he returned from the standoff with Arobynn. She thought that was fair enough. If he returned, she would tell him yes, and if he didn’t, no harm done.

The thought left Elide’s heart aching.

“You don’t ever get scared, do you?” Elide asked.

Lorcan shrugged. “I would if I didn’t know what I was doing, but we have a plan. We know what we’re doing. Rowan is a good leader. We’ll prevail.” 

Elide nodded, slipping her hand into his. “Well, I’m scared.”

The light in Lorcan’s eyes softened as he squeezed her hand, meeting her gaze. “I’m not going to get hurt,” he whispered. “I promise. I’m coming to find you, the moment it’s done, and you’re going to tell me that you’re going to marry me, and it all will be okay, alright?”

Elide huffed a laugh as she nodded, although there was still a knot in her stomach. She laid her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes, although there would be no sleeping for her tonight.

~~~~~

“Are you ready?”

“For what? To take down Arobynn?”

“Obviously.”

“I have no choice but to be ready.”

Rowan and Aelin laid awake in her bed, in her little studio apartment, as the night dragged on. There would be no sleeping tonight, as the next day would only bring anxiety and pain. So, despite Rowan’s sore shoulder, they’d made love and were now lying together, their skin against one another’s, in the dim moonlight, atop Aelin’s bed.

“I still can’t believe everything went so well with my dad,” Aelin muttered, against his chest.

Rowan chuckled. “You’re very convincing.” 

With a roll of her eyes, Aelin grinned. “You’re so full of shit.”

“You keep telling me that,” Rowan muttered. 

Aelin chuckled. “Because it’s true.”

“I don’t wanna talk about any of that,” Rowan said, brushing the golden strands out of her face. “I don’t wanna talk about your father, or Arobynn, or tomorrow….”

“Then what do you want to talk about?” she asked, quietly. 

Rowan was quiet for a moment. Then, he said, softly, “Nothing. Just be here with me.”

“Okay,” she agreed, snuggling up as close to him as she could get. 

They laid like that for hours, Rowan rubbing slow, gentle circles on her back with his fingertips. He ran through the plan in his mind over and over and over again. He’d sent Arobynn a letter the day before, saying that he couldn’t find Maeve, but that he wouldn’t back down. They’d meet at the docks at noon to faceoff. Even with his and Rhoe’s men, they would be outnumbered, but Rowan was confident. 

Confident enough, anyway, but apparently still worried enough not to get any sleep. He had been sleeping better in the last week, with Aelin beside him, his calming anchor, but tonight was different.

Tonight, he watched Aelin, with her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling with steady breaths. She clung to his chest, as if she, too, was afraid to let go.

Because yes, Rowan was confident in his men, but if someone died tomorrow, it was going to be him.

~~~~~

Just after dawn, Arobynn stood at the docks, helping Maeve onto the ship to Eyllwe.

“Take care of business and come straight back,” he ordered.

“I will,” she promised, kissing his lips before letting go of his hand and stepping on board the ship with her travelling case. 

Arobynn watched as she disappeared with his child in her womb. He didn’t like the thought of her being away from him while she carried his child, but as life went on, business had to, also.

She wouldn’t be gone long, though, and he would be distracted, building his empire.

Starting with today.

He turned on his heels, heading back to his warehouse where his men would soon be gathering, preparing.

They had to get ready.

Come noon, they would have a man to kill. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[peaky-whore]

What Happens to the Heart • J. Shelby [Part One]

Pairing: John Shelby x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1,656

Warning: None

Summary: You’re the best of friends with John.

A/n: This is in your point of view. Also, I’m sorry is this doesn’t make sense, it will eventually. And there is a memory in here, so that’ll be the italics. Overall, this is just the beginning!

To say John and I were the best of friends would be an understatement, the two of us were inseparable from the day we met; wherever he was, there was no doubt I’d be right by him. Dangerous, or not.

Most of the time, though, folks thought we were in a relationship, something along those lines. Other times, we’d get ourselves into trouble, Polly - my mom also - wouldn’t be pleased to talk us out of jail. To make it short, we’d get smacked in the back of the head by our guardians whilst on the way to Watery Lane, along with lectures on how to behave, I was even told that my actions are not ladylike. They still loved us, I know that much.

Our closeness brought me unexpected feelings for the Shelby boy, and though we told each other everything - from my first kiss to his first fuck - I would never admit how I felt towards him. Especially since he found a girl he fancies. There was no way I was going to break them up, I loved him too much to do something destructive as that.

So there I sit, awaiting his arrival at the Garrison. I couldn’t even order a damn drink without him. But as minutes turned into a half hour, and that an hour, I gave up. He wasn’t coming, Martha probably needed him more than I, but as a good friend, I’m okay with that; as a secret admirer, however, I felt jealous - I just despised the thought of it - upset that he’d ditch me here.

Just as I was going to walk out, here came the handsome, blue eyed man himself. He looked to be panting.

“I’m sorry, Y/n, but Martha kept me. Sit. I have something to tell you.” He explained, hooking his arm with mine and pulling me to a secluded table. The smile he wore was one I have never seen before, so I couldn’t help but follow along and sit across from him.

The news must have been too important for drinks.

He looked at me, a smile still plastered on his flawless face, one that will most definitely be stuck in my mind for days on end. John looked like a little boy, happy that he was told he had good manners and behaviour in school, whilst really, he was quite the opposite. Except the manners, he had those covered.

I rested my arms on the table and leaned forward, impatiently waiting for him to speak. “Oh, get on with it John.” There is no way I’m playing the guessing game tonight.

“Martha, she’s with child. My child. Y/n, I’m gonna be a father.” It felt as if he’d spoken a foreign language, one I couldn’t understand but still heard. I’m sure my expression is surprised, since he waited for me to talk. I simply couldn’t.

Before he started to ask questions, I cleared my throat and threw on a forced smile. “Congratulations, John-boy. You’re a man now, I hope you know.” He let out a playful scoff and an eye roll, making us laugh.

“I’ve always been a man.” He replied, giving a smug smirk at the end. His eyes met mine for a brief moment before looking towards the shelves of liquor behind me. “I think this deserves a drink, eh?” Before I could answer him, he got up, lifted me by the arm and drug me across the nearly empty pub, and ordered us whiskey - an entire bottle to be precise.

This happened until the war broke out, boys across Europe were being sent to fight for their people, or enlisting, including John, and his two elder brothers, Arthur and Thomas. By then, Martha was pregnant with their fourth child, meaning she’d be alone for the birth of their baby girl, or boy. And she was, but Polly, Ada, Finn, and I were present, keeping her company before and after she went into labour.

It’s been four years since the boys left, leaving families behind, I know some won’t be returning, and it breaks my heart just thinking about it. There will be so many mothers, sisters, aunts, and wives without their men. And the ones that do return are going to be stuck with those God awful memories, nightmares.

Since they left, I’ve been the opposite of trouble, I’d actually gone to church with Polly and her little clan, along with Martha and her children. I prayed for the boy’s safety, that included my two elder brothers and the many cousins I have. They all meant the world to me, each of them taught me something valuable, and I couldn’t let the thought of them not coming home get the better of me, so I turned to God. Polly turned me to God.

And because so many unspeakable events happened in these long, devastating four years, all I wanted was my brothers home, and John. How I longed for him.

It must be pathetic to be falling this hard for your best friend - your now best friend’s husband - I hated how much I wanted him for myself. He’s got a beautiful wife, smart and rowdy children, there’s no way I could be that selfish. John has what he always wanted, a family of his own.

What kind of monster would try to take him away from those he cared for and loved? The question was branded into my brain and was beyond hard to ignore.

Tragedy struck when Martha fell ill, her sickness was beyond the doctors, and she was put on bed rest until it was her time to go. I couldn’t face not having her around, she and I became rather close - practically sisters - in the last few years. As time went on, she died peacefully in her and John’s shared home. Their children were heartbroken, they were young but old enough to know what death is.

Since her funeral, Polly put me on nanny duty, knowing she didn’t have time for them and the betting shop, I agreed. During the first few weeks, the children were a mess, throwing tantrums for their mother, refusing any food I cooked and bedtime. They soon got comfortable with me around more, until Polly announced she heard Germany had surrendered and all countries agreed to stop fighting until their negotiation was set.

Although I was still mourning the loss of Martha, I couldn’t be anymore happy that our boys will be coming home to us. The kids were beyond the moon that their dad was returning, and so it was the same thing all over again; they were acting up again, asking for their daddy.

I promised them soon.

Which brought us here, Birmingham train station, with loads of women and children, along with relatives of the men’s families. I held Daniel at my hip, glancing up from him telling me about his day every once in a while to see if the train was near, surely I would hear it if it were nearby.

This morning, early this morning, I would pinch myself to see if this were a cruel dream, or if it were real.

“I hear it!” Exclaimed Ada, her arms draped around Finn’s shoulders, keeping him in place so he doesn’t wander off. She gave a big smile and as if on queue, I heard the horn from a distance.

My heart rapidly pounded against my chest. It’ll be the first time in four years that I’ve seen my brothers. What scares me most is that they’ll be mad at me for not writing and telling any of them about our mother, but she made me promise not too until they got home, so I kept my word.

The train took another five minutes before it stopped in front of us, all our men were soon off once the doors opened. I searched from where I was standing for the two goofs that were my brothers, of course, not like I didn’t expect it, they stepped off with blank expressions; no look of happiness to be home.

I couldn’t help but let my tears flow. They’re not the same boys I grew up with, but men who’ve experienced more than they should whilst on the battlefield. The boys who used to be carefree and adventurous were not the men standing mere feet away from me. I secured Daniel before squeezing through the crowded train station, almost face to face with my older brothers. They looked different but I still recognized their faces.

Their cold gazes met my figure and softened. Immediately, I was embraced by both of them, sobbing onto their uniforms in no time.

“Is . . . is this real?” I asked frantically, not wanting them to disappear if I were to let go of them. They let out light chuckles and nodded.

“I’m afraid so, little sister, you can’t rid us that easy.” Mason jokes, trying to lighten up the mood, I could see his eyes searching for someone. Our mum. How am I going to tell them? It’ll be more difficult than I thought now that they’re here.

Andrew looked down at Daniel, his eyes lighting up. “Got yourself a bloke I see. Hope he’s treated you well whilst we were away.” He started to make silly faces at the boy in my arms, causing him to giggle. I shook my head, tightening my hold on him so he wouldn’t accidentally fall.

“He’s a sweetheart, but if you look closely, the boy resembles a Shelby. I’ve taken on the care of Martha and John’s lovely children since she died.” They looked at me like I sprouted two heads. “Yeah. Almost a year ago. Pestilence.”

But before another word was spoken, I was being embraced by someone else. Someone oddly familiar. Nonetheless, I wrapped my arms around them, feeling a sudden warmth, one I’d been missing more and more as the years went on.

“John.”

•••

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[supercasey]

No one told me to do this, but writer's block is kicking my ass and I feel bad for not making more content of my favorite mercenaries, so here's some useless bullshit that no one asked for; what stuffed animals/important toys that I headcanon the TF2 RED mercs having when they were kids.

Engineer: A dark brown teddy bear named Franklin. It was a gift to him from his mother that she meant to give him when he was born, but after she died giving birth to him, his dad gave it to him. Upon learning of the toy's true origins as a young boy, Engie began taking it everywhere with him, which got him teased all throughout middle school, but he paid his bullies little mind. He still has Franklin to this day, the teddy bear having a home among Pyro's plushies for company.

Demoman: A big blue whale named Captain Plunder. He got her sometime when he was a toddler (he doesn't remember exactly when, and neither does his mom) but in all honesty, he outgrew sleeping and playing with his stuffie by the time he was ten or so. He intended on throwing it out, but his mom secretly kept it, and now Captain Plunder stays in Demo's room, waiting for him when he visits next.

Soldier: Had two very important toys as a kid; a shovel named Shovel and a toy soldier named Colonel Kennedy. He took these things just about everywhere until he was about eleven or so, but he still adores both items in his adulthood, keeping them in his bedroom at all times, save for Shovel, which he uses on the battlefield. He has a habit of fiddling with his toy soldier before every battle, as he thinks it gives him good luck.

Medic: A blonde girl doll that he named Patient. He practiced surgery on her a lot as a kid, which has resulted in his stuffie becoming a hodgepodge of different toys stitched together; his folks were horrified by it as a kid, but Medic still insisted on bringing Patient every time they went out until he was about nine, since he wanted to show people his work. He still owns Patient, but she's lost somewhere in his mess of a room.

Heavy: A white teddy bear named Snow. He had a rather normal relationship with his stuffed animal growing up, loving it and taking it with him everywhere for a few years, before leaving it to stay on his bed for his teenage years. Now Snow has a new home with Sasha, sleeping with the gun in her bed, though Heavy will occasionally hug the teddy bear for comfort after a particularly shitty day, and proceed to sleep with it through the night.

Pyro: Like Soldier, they had two very important toys growing up; a stuffed unicorn named Majesty, and a stuffed bunny named Howl. They were very possessive of their stuffies as a child, getting into a number of scuffles as a kid in order to protect them. They're still quite protective of the plushies as an adult, and they only let a select few know of their existence after a childhood spent trying to keep other kids from ripping their toys apart. Only Engie, Sniper, and Soldier know about their stuffies.

Sniper: He honestly wasn't that attached to many stuffed animals growing up, but he had a stuffed lion that he had a particular fondness for throughout his preteen years as he was going through therapy. Like Demo, he thinks his lion is long since thrown out, but his adoptive parents kept it in his old bedroom up until their deaths, and now the lion is locked away safely in storage. Seeing as he never named it, Mundy usually refers to the stuffed animal as Lion.

Spy: A black Labrador stuffed animal named Remy. He's had Remy since he was a literal infant, and his mom nearly threw it out when he was about nine, but Spy secretly fished it out of the trash and kept it hidden under his bed for the next year. After moving to live with his sister, he still kept Remy, and took the plushie with him to boarding school. As an adult, Spy still has Remy, and keeps the old stuffed dog propped up on one of the bookshelves in his smoking room.

Scout: A blue crab stuffed animal named Monsieur Crab (y'all probably saw this coming). Reportedly, his pa bought it with the intention of giving it to him, but after he "died" Scout's mom gifted it to him. Scout was very obsessive about his stuffie as a kid, almost as much as Pyro was with their stuffed animals, and even while living as a mercenary, he still sleeps with the stuffed crab every single night; only Spy and Engie know of the crab's existence, though Pyro might also know.

Miss Pauling: A naked baby doll that she simply dubbed Baby. Was violent as all hell with her toys as a kid, leading to Baby losing both of their eyes and being covered in dents/scratches. She regularly tossed Baby against the wall just to hear it make loud thunking noises when it hit something hard enough. Yeah, there's a reason she never tells anyone about Baby... luckily for her, Pyro gave her a stuffed dragon when she visited the base once, and now she brings it with her nearly everywhere when she has to travel; the dragon's name is Mozart.

[opalescient]

the most beautiful actual book recs — pride month edition 🥰🌈✨

june 28 is a big day in pride history; on this day in 1969, patrons of the Stonewall Inn and other bars decided to be a catalyst for change and stand up against the police raids targeted at members of the lgbt community. they are now known as the ones who inspired the lgbt protests. so in commemoration of their bravery, here are some lgbt novels! lack of media representation is real mans. i hope you guys like them 🤍

we are okay by nina lacour ☆

You go through life thinking there’s so much you need…

Until you leave with only your phone, your wallet, and a picture of your mother.

Marin hasn’t spoken to anyone from her old life since the day she left everything behind. No one knows the truth about those final weeks. Not even her best friend, Mabel. But even thousands of miles away from the California coast, at college in New York, Marin still feels the pull of the life and tragedy she’s tried to outrun. Now, months later, alone in an emptied dorm for winter break, Marin waits. Mabel is coming to visit, and Marin will be forced to face everything that’s been left unsaid and finally confront the loneliness that has made a home in her heart.

TW: depression, grief

hi this is my favourite book of all time

this book was the (very tearful) final step of my pansexual awakening :”)

lesbian and so FUCKING BEAUTIFULLLL

you will finish this in one sitting. bet.

favourite quote: “I was afraid of how we lived without opening doors.”

they both die at the end by adam silvera

On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They’re going to die today.

Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure—to live a lifetime in a single day.

you’ve probably seen this on booktok

made me so angry-sad??? because can we only truly live in the face of death?????

also gay. i love how personal and realistic it is, but how could you rip them apart like that???

favourite quote: “We were all lost and okay with not being found for a while.”

how it feels to float by helena fox

Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn’t be here but is. So Biz doesn’t tell anymore anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn’t tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was six. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface— normal okay regular fine.

But after what happens on the beach—first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe—maybe maybe maybe—there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

TW: grief, trauma

the emotion in this book. so vivid and raw.

very unique writing style that nailed every single emotion and thought and wow i am in love with this book

made me feel so full of love at the end 🥺

favourite quote: “I think of hearts in bodies and the rhythm inside us we don’t get to choose.”

the hand, the eye, the heart by zoe marriott

Zhilan was assigned female at birth; despite an unusual gift for illusions, they know they will live out their life in the perfumed confines of the women’s quarters. But when civil war sets the country aflame, Zhilan is the only one who can save their disabled Father from death on the battlefield.

By taking his place.

Surviving brutal army training as a male recruit – Zhi – is only the first challenge. Soon Zhi’s unique talents draw them into an even more perilous fight, in the glittering court of the Land of Dragons, where love and betrayal are two sides of the same smile. The fate of an Empire rests on Zhi’s shoulders. But to win, they must first decide where their loyalty, and their heart, truly belongs.

TW: mentions of prostitution, rape, war, slight ptsd

mulan, but make it trans. and better.

i love the ambiguity and fluidity written into the non-binary character!!! tied with the morally grey plotline!!!! nice!!!!!!

also i would say that there’s a major plot twist but i CALLED IT

there’s a happy ending for this, disney style, but still sooooo good ☺️✨

favourite quote: “People trust their eyes above all else— but most people see what they wish to see, or what they believe they should see; not what is really there.”

[writing-frenzy]

Hollow Knight AU Idea- Other side of the Mirror

okay, so, I like the drabbler I am, saw this post by @catanutella and suddenly I got an amazing, if awful AU idea :D

Let’s set up first.

For the Radiant Children to be born, I imagine a world where, for a certain reason, the Pale King and Radiance actually have to work together. Like, maybe there is a big bad cult, and because I like the subversion of everything in Hollow Knight, maybe it is against a god/goddess of Healing or ‘Purity’. The Radiance has been fighting against them for a long time, but she never seems to be anything but on the defense with them, their planing and power able to outmatch her own. At least, until the Pale King comes into being.

Now, the Pale King has seen the future, he can see the path that can branch if he picks one road or the other, and in the end, the cult has ideas and thoughts he can never agree with. He can see that he would never be able to take them on alone, so with the aid of Unn and the White Lady, he meets with the Radiance and with terms laid down, they all work together to defeat the enemy god. After all, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Once the other is cast out, things get a bit complicated... but they are eventually ironed out, if a bit tense at time with some relations. In the end, the Pale King is able to give minds to the bugs all around them, the Radiance is able to give them all dreams, but in the end, it is up to the bugs themselves to decide who they wish to follow in the end. Hollownest is built and most of the Moths still choose the Radiance, with some going over to the Pale King. This of course causes tension, but it was agreed to let the bugs choose, so there is that. 

So yeah, this is the world that the Radiant Children are born into. 

Now, i’m going to say this; I think Wyrms have very low birth rates, one of the reasons their species went extinct. The White Lady, being of earth and fertility in my headcannon, is able to still give him a lot of kids. (With no desperate plans and void to enter into the egg) they have a few children, I’m thinking between like 30-50.

So yeah, here is the set up for this idea; of course there will be drama, with fae like gods and court politics and all these still very morally grey characters still being themselves. (I want feral Child Hornet to be born, so maybe it was a term set down in the beginning to get Deepnest’s cooperation, the desire for a strong brood in the future or maybe one or two of the Radiant children gets saved by Herrah, who thinks ‘what about a life for a life? and boom, Hornet gets to exist and her mom won’t be a damn dreamer here.)

Now, here we get to where I want to be.

So, if we were in a comic or story, this would probably follow after a few arcs with subtle and not so subtle foreshadowing. The Cult is making a comeback, they are preparing, and now they are ready.

They have a special weapon with them this time, a mirror called the All-Seer’s Glass, said to show possibilities for what can be, as well as able to power up those who know how to use it. They also are able to somehow trick Grimm, making it to where the Nightmare King can only watch what is to happen, much to his distaste. (He does not care to be commanded or ordered around; the Cult was at least smart enough to not ask him to fight on their side, just that he watch and judge, and not interfere.)

So, i’m going to say a lot of the Radiant Children were kidnapped, from Arlo the oldest to young little Chi. With the Glass, they are all trapped in this mirror like world, where the gods are weakened and the Healing/Pure Cult is mostly in control. Grimm is forced to watch from the side, though through some sneaky antics, he is able to at least help out the kids break their bindings and get out of enemy hands, but is unable to help outside of that.

All the kids are scared; from the strange shadows they see outside their vision in the mirrored walls, to all the fighting, hiding behind their guards or Mother as the Radiance and their Father, along with other strong warriors, fight the monsters before them.

-

But they are getting worn down; within the mirror realm, they are weakened, and with the Cult able to constantly heal themselves, it seems like no progress is actually being made.

Chi watched on, as their father, who always stood so strong, so tall is beaten back by the enemies, who laugh and sneer in the face of his power. Can’t help but cry out as he see a nasty blow hit Father in one of his wings, the guard protecting the little one stopping them from reaching out.

‘Anyone...’ Chi thinks, tears falling onto their chitin as they watch this terrible battle so different from the stories they read, ‘Anyone, just anyone... please! Please help us...’ those tears ever so slightly blurring their vision, but doing nothing to quiet the cries of their family and friends, from the battle screeching of those fighting.

‘Help my Father..’ 

Chi can’t help but cry out, jostled as they are by their guard suddenly jumping, trying to get away from one of the Cultist trying to take their precious ward. Hears the louder cries of his siblings, sobs reaching out, distractions on the battlefield that work rather well.

‘Help my brother and sisters!’

(All the while the guard is fighting, forced to put the little one behind them, shadows start to form in the mirrored wall behind little Chi, a form that starts to become clear and clearer as the fight goes on.)

‘Please...’

Chi looks up into those cold, dark eyes of the bug who killed his guard, their nail still stained from their kill as they walk ever so arrogantly forward, the youth easily able to smell how pleased they are. They raise their nail once more, their actions obvious in what they are about to do to stain their nail even further.

‘Help.’  

Chi closes their eyes, not able to watch how that deadly nail reaches for them, to end them. 

This means their wide eyes flash open when they hear the counter.

Hearing the clashing of nails loud in the sudden silence they seem to be surrounded by, Chi looks up from the ground, watching as a small, grey cloaked bug easily goes toe to toe with the enemy. They are amazingly talented with a nail, performing nail arts Chi has only read about in books. They are even able to perform spells, judging by the soul energy that finally finishes off the foe. It is in this still moment that Chi is able to actually get a good look at the other bug, as they turn to him...

And kinda wishes he didn’t.

From those very familiar horns, the indents inside the tip of them, to the white of their chitin, a pale glow just barely able to be seen, it reminded Chi of one of their sister’s drawings, without any color and unfinished, no life given to it yet.

And yet... it seemed to be living right in front of them, a mirror image of their self in body, if the glass was black and grey that is.

Chi can only watch as this... other tilts their head at the for a bit, the darkness that can only seem to stare at them from their eye holes seeming to deepen the longer they look. Chi can’t help but feel a little relived when the other nods, turning away before they are off into the fight, easily moving within the chaos and madness of it all.

Like they are used to it, at home with it as it were.

-

So yeah, Little Ghost joins the fight, and the tide is turned greatly. Ghost is a tireless, restless fighting machine who only gets more power with every hit they get. To say that the home team are surprised is a very big understament, as one; this looks like one of the children, and two; why do they feel like death and void??!! Pale King does not like this, White Lady is disturbed, and the Radiance is very uneasy.

Grimm is admittedly stunned as well when a little Grimmchild helps Ghost get a few stubborn enemies, the nightmare fire unaffected in this mirrored realm (almost a bit stronger in fact, hence why they tricked Grimm in the first place).

Ghost is very much giving off the Uncanny Valley vibe, and with me imagining this is a fully looped Ghost (every ending has happened, but because of Ghost’s special ability, he just ends up starting over every time) he gives off an even more creepy pasta child feeling.

Not to mention just how OP he is.

When the fight is won and all is said and done, Ghost can go back home anytime as long as he can get to the abyss... but come on, this is Ghost.

Of course he is going to explore first chance he gets.

(And thus, we now have Ghost running wild in this nice little au. :D oh what havoc he will rein.)

[justlookatthosesausages]

May I suggest Anna and Kristoff telling their story to their kids, mirroring the time Agnaar and Iduna did that to young Anna and Elsa, and the kids being amazed at the story and ask about their auntie Elsa which eventually leads to a snow sisters reunion?

(THE FEELS AHFHFJFFJGHG!! this is so good I’m gonna go for a big drabble I think hahaha - and of course I get inspiration from your Kristanna children OCs)

=======

“And you jumped off a cliff??” Asked Hugo, eyes wide. 

Kristoff giggled as he tucked his eldest son in his bed. “Yes I did. Well, actually, it’s your mother who jumped first. I had no choice but to follow her. Just like in life…” He added with a wink.

Anna, who was standing on the threshold with a sleepy Andrew in her arms, shook her head with an eye roll. 

Hugo had a mischievous smile. “So you did crazy stuff too, mama, uh? Did you get a scar like me?”

“No, I didn’t” Replied Anna, still in her guilt after his incident on his first ice harvesting trip when they encountered wolves. “Also, I was 18 when it happened. Try not to risk your life again until then, uhm?”

He giggled in his sheets, and Kristoff ruffled his hair with a laugh. 

“Jumping off cliffs is epic”, commented the blond boy. 

His parents smiled, and Anna gave a sign to her husband as she left the room. “Come on, we have to put Andrew to bed.”

“I’m not tired!” Exclaimed her youngest boy in her arms. His voice was so drowsy that it got comical.

Anna smiled and nudged his nose with hers. “Yes you are.”

He mumbled something, putting his head back on her shoulder. 

“Mama, could you tell us another story before sleep?” Asked Hugo.

Andrew’s face jumped up, now totally awake and excited. Anna had to restrain herself from grunting. She knew how impossible it was to put Andrew to sleep after a second bed time story. “Another one??”

“Yessss, pleeeaaase!” Begged the two princes with big eyes. 

Kristoff tapped the sheets of Hugo’s bed. “Okay, mama sits back down. But a short one, alright? What do you want this one to be about? Andrew, you get to choose.”

The redhead boy had a thinking pout as he sat on the bed next to his mom. “Can you tell us a story about Auntie? We haven’t seen her in a while.”

The cute, warming, familial atmosphere in the room suddenly vanished. Kristoff stopped smiling, and cleared his throat as he lifted his eyes to his wife. 

“I already told you last week, sweetheart.” Said Anna, her voice suddenly weak. “She’s busy up North.”

“Because of the war?” Remembered Hugo. 

Kristoff gave a sad look to Anna. 

“Yes, because of the war.” Said Anna. She forced herself to smile and have a strong voice. “She needs to protect the land from the destruction that humans could bring when they fight each other.”

“Why do they fight each other?” Frowned Andrew, who never understood hate and vowed to always have a peaceful behavior. 

“It’s adult stuff, buddy. It’s too complicated. You’ll get it later.” Summarized Kristoff. Now was not the time to get political. 

“Is it dangerous for her?” Asked Hugo.

Right in Anna’s heart. She gulped audibly, and Kristoff put a soft hand on hers. The Queen turned to him and gave a reassuring nod. “It’s okay. I can talk about it.” She whispered. 

“Yes, it’s very dangerous.” Stated Anna to her sons. “She has to get in the way of both sides, and not take any, and make sure that Nature doesn’t get attacked on the… Battlefield.”

She had paused before saying the last word, and Kristoff looked at her with a supportive gaze. 

“Do you believe in her?” Said Andrew, and the question was turned to both his parents. 

“Of course”, immediately said Kristoff with some pride. “She’s amazing.”

“She’s the person I admire the most. She’s brave. She’s powerful. And she’ll always succeed.” Smiled Anna. 

The two princess nodded in silence. Even from their young age, they perceived the emotion of the adults in the air. 

“When will she come back again?”

“How long have you not seen her?”

They asked at the same time, and Anna clenched the sheets with her fist to not cry right then. She passed a hand in her untied hair and tugged it behind her ear.

“It’s… Wars can be long, you know, and… Uhm… It’s been more than a year since I last saw her. Since we all saw her.” She added, bringing the ‘us’ feeling of her family to give her courage. “But I get news from the battlefront from time to time from the informants, and there are rumors that the war is getting to its end.”

The two boys gave hurrahs and cheers, glad it ended on a positive note. 

“Alright, you two devils, it’s time for bed now.” Smiled Anna, remaining happy, for the little faces of her children filled her heart with love again. 

She was about to take Andrew in her arms once more, but Hugo tugged her sleeve. “Can you close the window before leaving?”

Anna frowned and looked up, and saw that indeed, the window was half open. 

“I didn’t even notice it was opened. Kris, did you–”

“No, I didn’t do anything.” Frowned the man. “You know I don’t want Hugo to catch a cold.”

It was true, and Anna squinted her eyes as she stood up from the bed and walked to the window. The air of the outside was cold, and she hurried a bit to take the handle and close it. When suddenly, something in the air caught her attention. This type of cold felt familiar. 

The redhead passed her head by the window and looked down the castle at the field below. Something seemed to shimmer in the distance, walking slowly along the grounds and to the walls of the castle, just under Anna. Something white, sparkly, and her long untied clear blonde hair was floating in the evening wind, and her smile was visible even from here… 

Anna let out a great gasp, and clasped her hand on her mouth. Even if her expression was a proof of big emotion and happiness, Kristoff ran to the window to see what she saw. And his jaw dropped as well, melting in a smile. 

With a swirl of snow and wind, the smiling figure below rose up to them, floating in the air right in front of the window, and the gust of wind pushed the windows apart so she could enter. 

Elsa had planned to land next to Anna, but she barely passed the window sill that suddenly Anna grabbed her in the air and pulled her in her arms for an intense hug. 

The Snow Queen yelped in surprise, and almost fell on her younger sister as the wind behind her closed the window neatly. In a gasp, Anna tightened her arms around her, her nose buried in her neck, and Elsa smiled and gave her the intensity of the hug right back. She finally put her feet on the carpet of the bedroom, and smiled at the familiar sensation both under her ice sandals and the warm feeling of being in Anna’s arms. 

They stood there a while, being in each other’s presence without saying a word. Kristoff noticed that Anna was practically clamping herself to her sister, and he chuckled as he stepped closer. 

“Hey, let her breathe, maybe…” 

Anna let go of the hug and apologized, and indeed Elsa had to retrieve some oxygen as she stepped out of her arms. 

“How are you?” Asked Kristoff, delighted to see her again as well. 

“I’m really well, thank you”, smiled Elsa with a giggling voice, and she already filled the room with happiness as she did so. “It’s just been the tightest embrace you’ve ever given me”, she added to Anna as she massaged her ribs. “I haven’t felt this constricted since I got crushed by giants. I missed your amazing hugs.”

Elsa still had her hand in Anna’s, and she passed her thumb along her fingers. The latter giggled with a big smile, then it briskly dropped. 

“Wait, what? Crushed by giants??” 

The Snow Queen waved her other hand for a dissuasive effect. “They didn’t do it on purpose. I’ll tell you later. It’s a long story.”

Anna interpreted from her answer that she wasn’t going to stay for long, and all glee disappeared from her heart. Elsa seemed to read in her like an open book, because as soon as Anna looked down in disappointment, the blonde put her hands on her shoulders. 

“I plan to stay for a long time in the castle. We’ll have plenty of days to catch up now that war is over. I’ve heard that you planned big changes to expand Arendelle? I can’t wait for you to tell me all about it.”

Anna’s eyes danced all around Elsa’s face as she listened to her and had so many emotions at each word she said. There was so many informations to process, and was speechless as she didn’t know what to reply; her mouth dropped open. 

The elder melted in a smile at her reaction, and came closer to kiss her forehead. Then she saw the children behind her. 

All that time, the two princes had been staring at them three, and were too shy and overwhelmed by the situation to even say a word. Elsa stepped to them, her untied hair floating around like a mane. 

“Hugo! Andrew! Gods, you grew up so much!” She exclaimed, a big smile stretching her face. 

She clearly was emotional, and the boys giggled in return. Kristoff stepped closer.

“Now they’re…”

“9 and 5 years old, yes” Smiled Elsa.

Kristoff missed a heartbeat, and Anna seemed shocked as well. She knew? He thought that for all that time, and all the events she had to face and take care of, she could possibly have forgotten her nephews’ birth dates. But judging from her confident look at she stared at the boys, she knew exactly. 

The mountaineer turned his head to his wife, and noticed that Anna had tears in her eyes, overwhelmed by both the surprise to see that she knew, and the happiness to have the presence of her caring sister again. Elsa said she missed her hugs, and Anna too, but also the aura of her elder and the way her faced beamed with love. 

“Do the magic! Do the magic!”

The Queen was snapped out of her daydream by Andrew’s voice. Childish and therefore high-pitched, it reminded her of her own childhood memory when she asked Elsa this exact request. That was the trigger; when she blinked, Anna’s tears finally went down her cheeks, and she let out a slight squeal. 

Elsa’s sense of hearing was sharpened since her Fifth Spirit transformation and her experiences in the wild, so she turned around with a worried expression as Andrew and Hugo were jumping on the bed under her shower of snowflakes. 

“Are you okay?”

The redhead rubbed her tears, and let out a giggle that sounded like a gasp of relief.

“Yeah, I just… I’m so happy that you’re here, Elsa.”

The elder smiled tenderly in return. “I am too.”

[thespiritofthoughts1234]

The warriors

              Hi, my name is Isabela! I live in a small town called Ocna’s Village in Romania. Actually, I was born in Italy, but I’ve moved to Romania without knowing why, ok when I moved, I was a baby so is pretty logic to not know lots of things on that young age…Eh, doesn’t matter, cause now I don’t wanna tell you my story, but I really want to discuss about Dimension F35A.

                F35A is a place where everything that appears to be unrealistic, impossible or even dumb on this planet it can happen there. Now you might ask yourselves: “How can a little girl know so much about an interdimensional world”, well I know because I WAS THERE. You know, a very long time ago it was known about a rock that once rubbed by someone, it could create a portal between dimensions. That rock was called then a “curly rock”, a natural object that can be modeled in any other form, in today’s world it can be recognized in bracelet form and you can purchase it at an affordable price… (I swear I don’t make advertisement) …not true, actually you get it from birth (not literally anyone can say that).

               This dimension was perfect for my imagination, but it comes out that…I couldn’t get there till I turned 7…okay, technically, even at that age I still could NOT go in that universe, so I took my mom’s bracelet -I know that I’m not a good role-model, but I was DESPERATE, I asked her each year on my birthday (to be more convincing), and guess what she told me…I’ll make a scheme to show you my agony: -3years=No.

                  -4years=No!

                  -5years=NO!

                  -6years=NOO!

                  -7years=NOOO!

                So, it turns out that I’ve woken up for 8 years (1 year was under warranty) at 6 am because I had a “noghtmare” (eh, eh, get it…anyway, I wanted to make a pun but I noticed that no one laughed…L-LET’S KEEP GOING).

                  Ok, so when I first got in, I saw… a party with ponies and rainbows, that is what you were thinking...well, YOU’RE WRONG, it was just an unending war with random characters, it means that Batman could fight Bambi or something like that. Anyway! I looked around, everything was a chaos, but I’ve noticed something weird, I realized that everyone in there was fighting for a purpose or covering themselves or conquering new territories, so I made up a purpose too…the most important one. The thing that actually matters is that someone must clean this mess, a person that must be good, brave, and WORTHY FOR SUPREME LOYALTY, a creature that will stop this disaster.

And that’s why I’m…going to find it, what did you think that I am the person, no, not even a word, I won’t get into those knuckleheads, they freak me out.

                So, I transformed myself into a mouse and tried to reach the closest spot to hide (a rock…t-there will be many rocks in this story). And exactly when I thought that I’m safe, a giant robot crushed me (obviously I didn’t die because after you are crushed, sliced, shot, burnt, etc. you get back to your home dimension). But a second before game over I saw an iconic red color being, with deep black eyes that penetrate souls, three fox tails, two fox ears and one fox nose, who wore a leaf that covered all of its body, and who appeared to be a little bit confused by the chaos behind him, but in the end, he still crossed the road, very chill, to resolve his problems. I scanned it to have it like “skin” in the future (Minecraft users in the public, or Standoff or PUBG, whatever) but what future, because that stupid stack of iron CRUSHED ME:

                  --Hmm, what if I turn in that thing? I did it. Ew, this leaf doesn’t work on me… therefore, I changed. I was wearing a blue vest, white shirt, black jeans and brown boots…BOOM, it’s betTEEEER! I was screaming because a giant iron sole was going to crush me again (I would give a reply but I don’t have one…OH, WAIT, it looks like we can’t STEP inside without being CRUSHED by hospitality, HA HA, I’m a horrible pun maker…BACK TO THE STORY). However, I’m talking about one second before the impact, I ran but not like a penguin, I ran like FLASH:

                    --WHAT THE…WOW, I am running with the speed of light (clearing throat), doesn’t matter, now let’s find that person…I will look over mountains and valleys, lakes and oceans, and I will be recognized like “The random girl who brought the hero of this world” … after I will visit this place with the super-speed thing. Now I think I went through 3 kingdoms -I despite no one saw me- And then I arrived on a land with a dense fog, without…(cough)…clEAn AiR:

                    --NO…I need…(COUGH)…to continue mY qUeSt-not too far away from me stand a humanoid silhouette…at least that’s what I thought…however, I started to scream, powerless: PLEASE…(COUGH)…YOU, THE STRANGER IN THE HORIZON …I’M VERY YOUNG…EVEN IF I APPEAR TO BE IN MIDDLE AGE FROM THE DISTANCE AND UNCLEAN AIR! I fainted waking up in a cave:

                  --(Clearing throat again)…Uh, where am I? I said after being a little dizzy.

                   Suddenly a sound came out of nowhere, like a growl:

                  --W-what? Who’s there? I asked scared. An animal came out of shadow, actually it was the same animal that I saw a few moments ago: You again! What do you want for appearing in those mysterious ways? the animal growled harder showing its big fangs: Uuuh, what BIG fangs you got there, buddy, ha, ha! Wait do I have fangs too?! What’s your name? No, no, no, how do your friends call you? I have many questions about…you…I was slowly going back, because the animal was slowly coming to me. Unfortunately, I reached the end of the cave: Understand that I mean no harm, although we are in the same species, no…I scanned you, didn’t I…I scanned you…and I transformed into you, I hope you don’t want to…EAT ME?! I said with a worried expression.

                    After the last phrase the humano-animal -partial human, partial animal- for a second it stopped, and then it came rapid, got its huge bloody red color claws out -literally anything is red on you? – Well in that moment I nodded and I said:

                      --N-nice…c-claws. Did you do your manicure?... the best pun that I could tell to a creature with an unpredictable behavior, oh and more than that,

before I didn’t know if she/he was furious or happy, because I was seeing just his/her dark eyes -even the gender is unknown-, and after that innocent joke its eyes changed a lot, they were yellow with a keen red iris. “OH MY GOD I’M SO DEAD!” I said to myself…BUT yes, of course, I can’t die in this dimension, yeah thank you for reminding me, I don’t need to worry…just if I bump into a particularly type of being…a being that can destroy anyone and anything…

                          Is known about an ancient legend that reveals some sort of creatures, warriors, who disintegrate everything that stays in their way, although it doesn’t exist in their dimension, it’s speculated that those legendary creatures are the most dangerous beings in the multiverse…who told me? ... Mama told me!... Ok I don’t know how those legends look, but I hope that the respective humano-animal wasn’t a part of those fighters -WAIT A SECOND I HAVEN’T NAMED THE GUY YET, hmmm…let’s see…Neferis…no, to Grecian…Falohe, no, to Hawaiian, hmmm…Do…Ba…Aaaa I know, Zentofea, why this name? I DON’T KNOW!

                      Back to the story: That Zentofea -Oh gosh, I love this name- came closer to me being just as predictable as unpredictable like before, but the Zeantofea…Zen-a-to-fe-a?... seeming to be more furious. I said quickly:

                      --WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! the Zento- Agh- that humano-animal, appeared to attack me, …but no, he/she? Destroyed the boulder behind me to make clear way to the outside world…really nice gesture from a   wild animal…By the way, after that giant stone, there was a pasture full of cold crystal flowers - why didn’t they named them ice flowers-: WOW, I hope you wanted to do this for the first time, because you might just miss and… Ya’ know…

                       At first, the animal had a disapproving look, and then it smiled and leaved:                    

                       --Ok…anyway…I’M GOOD! Now I seriously need to find that person, the battlefield is getting dirty, and I don’t want to clean the mess…I made a few turns in the pasture…aaand then I got lost…Um…I think I should go in that way…or that way…or…that…way…uuuh, …HEEEELP! After the previous phrase a humano-animal came out of the forest near the pasture: DUDE, if I owe you, every time you appear, I’ll buy you a yacht. Then the animal came closer, showing itself not being a Zentofea, but a humano-animal with a body of a wolf, a more evolved wolf, with human head and some different sized crystals placed uniform on the fluffy chest -I should wear glasses.

                       It came and smelled me:

                       --Uuuh, are you some sort of dog? it has stopped from smelling for a second and showed his sharp fangs… sharper than Zentoffe-a’s ones -I’m still thinking how to pronounce it correctly-…anyway…of course I got scared: UUUH, GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY, SIT! He growled: WHAT, DID I OFFENDED YOU IN SOME WAY?!SAY! LOOK I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU ARE, BUT TO KNOW THAT TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY IN HERE, AND ALL THE ANIMALS ALREADY HATE ME!

                        --Get out of our territory, Zentofea!

                       --Ooooh, so it’s pronounced Zentofe-e-a, ok I noted AND HEY, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT NAME, and did you say “OUR territory”!? after that phrase, a bunch of more humano-animals came out of the forest. Ya’ know, don’t ya’ think you have to many friends? They were slowly approaching me, I know, you think that I could’ve escaped, but the answer is NO, I couldn’t escape because I was surrounded, and I also know I could have jumped, but those animals seemed to have springs instead of legs, really now, I think they evolved from kangaroos…Siberian kangaroos. Many of those animals had an white with a little of black fur, WE C-CONTINUE: So I was there surrounded by those oversized human-headed dumb dogs, I was helpless, TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII- increase the suspense-IIIIIIIIIIIILLL … nothing happened, I’m kidding, I figure it out that:” BUT WAIT I HAVE SECRET WEAPONS TOO!”. I tried to annoy myself to get my claws out, first time it didn’t work, and then I thought about the most annoying thing for me, not even this worked because I love all the things unless the things that I hate, so I went to Karate, Judo, and putting my fingers in other one’s eyes:

                       --OUCH, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

                        --That’s how I know!

                        Even with my MASTER moves, I still couldn’t stop those hundreds of humano-wolves - hmm, surprising- until one bit my tail. In that moment I was angry- I took out the sharp fangs, yellow eyes with small pupil and iris, big claws, now I don’t boast myself, but I took down at least 20 wolves, ok I boast myself a little bit. Doesn’t matter because everything happened in my MIND, after that guy who I put my fingers in his eyes, another one threw a stump in my head.

                         I woke up tied up of a plank, carried by 4 human-wolves -I’ll name them later- to the chief of the tribe. They put me in a cage, still tied, with fire under the cage, very chill. The chief said:

                         --Oh, divine spirit of the frozen forest we give you this offering in exchange of a great dinner.

                         --An offering for a great dinner? Do you know that you can hunt? I mean you’re half wolves after all!

                         --GASP, who would’ve done such a shameful deed!? They looked offended.            

                        --Says the guy who is making an offering to a horse!

                         --It’s a majestic wolf!

                         --Riiight, you really aren’t good at sculpture!

                         --Oh, yes, we are, everyone is criticizing us, and why aren’t you worried, you’ll be burnt, are you a player?

                         --OF COURSE, I AM -a brilliant idea just crossed my mind- n-not…of course I am NOT a player, because I’m a destroyer undercover!

                         A sound of surprise came from tribe:

                          --Wait a second why did you smell like a Zentofea?

                          --Well, it’s a special thing that none of you heard about, it’s called perfume!

                          --Oh!

                          --A-and if you don’t untie me, I’ll destroy you ALL!

                          --But if you’re a destroyer and you can destroy us, why didn’t you destroy the rope and the cage already?

                          --Uh- OH, yeah…uh, thanks…I forgot I can… DO… that -I was pretending to concentrate to destroy the cage, but as an amazing coincidence, a thing came out of nowhere and cut the iron box and saved me…still tied up…but free…i-in a way. Uuuuh, yeah, I telepathically sent a message to a recruit to save me, good job soldier! I caressed his head, good part he was fluffy, bad part he pulled out a laser gun from his pocket and pointed it to my forehead, he had 2 guns, the other one was pointed at the public -how dangerous can be a creature with 3 feet high:

                           --Run! Said The Short One, that’s how I call him, with a deep voice.

                           --I would’ve run already, if I haven’t my legs TIED UP!

                           --A Zentofea has stronger muscle power in lower limbs!

                           --…Yes…

                           --…That means that you can rip the string that ties your legs!

                           --Ooooh! I ripped the strings and I ran… after a few seconds I stopped and I returned to The Short One.

                           --WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, I TOLD YOU TO RUN!

                           --I won’t let you down!

                           --I’ve been here more than you so I learned a lot in my time!

                           --Ok, I trust you on this, but can I do somethin’?

                            --Yes, try to survive!

                            --…I hope I can do that!

                            Well, it appears that The Short One had a plan to escape from that situation, I don’t know how, but The Short One shot with the laser gun in a cold crystal (ice), bounced off another two cold crystals (two pieces of ice), and then to the base of a tree, that rip causing a chain reaction, putting down tree by tree, the last tree falling in front of the angry crowd:

                           --WOOOOW!

                           --COME ON, I CREATED A DIVERSION!

                           --But, wait, how did you know that tree was going to fall in front of them? I have said while I was running with The Short One.

                           --D-do you really want to know?

                           --Uh, yes?

                           --Really, no one has asked me about this for a decade!

                           --Uh, about what?

                           --Science stuff…oh my God…I’m…so…excited…(clears throat) ok I’ll tell you…GASP, first time I calculated the area between the laser gun and the target, and then I’ve calculated the variables- he continued talking until I realized that we both have stop from running.

                           --Uh, dude ya know…an entire squad of human-wolves with six packs is like…following us!

                           --…And then I measured…

                           --…Uh, maaan?

                           --…But the distance was equal with…

                           --I beg you to stop!

                           --…So, I created a way to…

                           --Sigh, who am I kidding? I took him by the arm and jumped in a tree.

                           --…Although if I would’ve taken the theory…

                           --CAN YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT…please? I put my hand to his mouth and I pointed to the tribe that passed us.

                             --Oh, yeah, I-I’m sorry!

                             --Look, man, I understand your excitement, I think you’re a little lonely here by your independent character, but can ya wait until we get rid of this dorks?        

                             --Yeah, I know, and by the way I’m a girl!

                             --You are a girl, but how do you have such a deep voice? SHE took her mask off!

                             --It’s a changing voice device, dear!  

                             --Oh. My. Goodness. YOU ARE SO CUTE! I think she was the cutest specie of humano-animal that I’ve ever met in my life. I hugged her… SHE WAS FLUFFY!

                             --Look, that’s why I’m always wearing a mask…ok, this and other 3 reasons!

                             --Daaww, why, like someone would really attack you?

                             --Yes, many would attack me, players, qualified and unqualified hunters, maybe…MY OWN ENEMIES!?

                             --Aaww, but wait, you have enemies?

                             --Yes!

                             --Why?

                             --Because of my high intelligence!

                             --Really, well, that means that you have common enemies with many of your species.

                             --Meh, not really, I’m a very rare case, usually creatures in my species are…

                             --Let me guess, dumb, goofy, jerks, but with no reason?  

                             --I wanted to say idiots, but your description is much more extensive.

                             --I know how it feels, I mean a lot of people from my species are like that!

                             --Zentofea?

                             --No, humans…but I have one question, how does everybody know about this name? I named that creature!

                             --Uh, no, it has been named like that since forever!    

                             --How?...

                             --Look, stop asking useless questions and care about your purpose!

                             --My purpose…OH YEAH, MY PURPOSE, I FORGOT ABOUT IT!

                             --How can you forget your own objective?

                             --My PURPOSE…is that an ocean? I’d said while I was exiting the forest.

                             --Yes, the terrestrial space from this planet is predominant in isles and archipelagos!

                             --DAMN IT, how am I going to cross the ocean now?

                             --But why do you want to cross it? Do you need to cover a territory?

                             --No…

                             --Do you want to conquer a territory?

                             --…No…

                             --Then why do you want to cross the ocean?

                             --I want to change the world!

                             --Wait, you want to change the world…alone?

                             --Nope, that’s why I’m looking for a person to help me!

                             --Wow, really…wow, you’re the first person who said that! Hey, HEY, what are you doing? I took off my boots, I rolled up my jeans and I tried to run above the water, for 3 seconds I really have run above the water, and then I began to sink. I swam back to the beach.

                              --So, do you wanna tell me…where…the heck…were you thinking?

                              --I thought that I could run on water.

                              --Kiddo, if in your dimension exists some force who keep things together, however are you calling…

                              --Gravity…

                              --I knew about that name, I’m a genius, I just wanted to clarify that you know what I’m talking about…What I wanted to say, is that, the respective force exists in this universe too, but it acts with a different attraction.

                              --Aha, so what other idea do you have?

                              --Hmmm, first, you still didn’t answer the previous question!

                              --Well, I think the person might be after the ocean!

                            --Do you think that this motivation is certain, I mean isn’t assuming an attempt to know something that can be inexistent, do you really think, in this life anything can have a scope, don’t you think that life is an illusion meant to prepare us of everything what can be beyond the bars of reality?

                              I remained without words:

                              --I made this up 10 seconds ago, what’s so hard to understand?

                              --No, no…I-I understood!

                              --Then why are you doing this!

                              --Um, I don’t know…I think I just needed an adventure!

                              --Then why did you choose to change this world?

                              --I don’t kn-…YOU KNOW WHAT, leave me alone with those weird questions, you’ll provoke me an existential crisis!

                              --Ok!

                              --I just wanted to know How. Can. I. Cross. THE DAMN OCEAN?  

                              --Stay chill kid, I’ve got this! She took out a thing from her pocket and she blew in it, then a 45 feet animal came out of water and it wasn’t a blue whale. A little help from a seahorse!

                               --You can’t put the words “seahorse” and “little” referring to that thing!

                               --Oh, yes, I can. Player, say hi to Rudolf!

                               --RUDOLF? WHAT ARE YOU…SANTA…THE BARBARIAN!?

                               --Not really. Rudolf, say hello to the player! He said hello…i-in his language.

                               --Yep, I’m clearly going to make a raAAF- the monster picked me and sank into the water!

                               --Bye, bye, bon voyage through the ocean!

                               The monster took me to a temple under the water. In temple:

                                --COUGH…when I said to cross the ocean I DIDN’T MEAN UNDER WATER! All the torches in the room blew up.

                                --Greetings, my dear child! Said an old lady when she appeared from nowhere in front of my face.

                                --HOLY SHAMALAMA…sigh…ma’am I think you have the wrong person!

                                --No, no, that’s how I tell to the visitors!

                                --Ooo, so, you have tourists…riiight!

                                --No, every new player comes to me for the closet! She showed me like a Chinese closet -I made a redundancy, everything is made in China.

                                 --Closet, do you have problems with the furniture?

                                 --No, they get in it!

                                 --So…you kidnap kids... I’m calling the police!

                                 --No, you didn’t understand, it will be worth, plus is no police station in the middle of the ocean!

                                 --You’re the creepiest person I’ve ever met in my life!

                                 --Many people say that! Now, come on, it doesn’t bite!

                                 --At least I got rid of a fear! I got in the closet, immediately after I got in, I remained unconscious and I woke up in another world.

                                 I’ve heard a girly voice:

                                 --WARM WELCOME TO THE DIMENSION OF THOUGHTS! Said a grey colored skin girl with black clothes and amber colored eyes. And I’m the Spirit of Thoughts!

                                 --AAAAA!

                                 --Hmm, I thought that a Zentofea wouldn’t fear of literally everyone who says hello!

                                 --How did you know about that…AND MORE IMPORTANT, HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT THAT NAME!?

                                 --Well, first, I know what every player thinks, and second, I know about that name because I put it!

                                 --But ho-

                                 --How do I know that? Well, the answer is in the name, MY NAME, DUH!

                                 --And how did I-

                                 --And how did you name it? Ho ho, well, that’s simple kid, it’s because all of those subliminal messages that I left around the place!

                                 --If-

                                 --If I control the thoughts, why didn’t I end the war, yet? …It’s because that war shouldn’t end, it’ll declare the true leader of this world, like you said it must be a good, brave, and worthy person to clean this mess.

                                --An-

                                --And that means-

                                --Oh, will you please let me talk?

                                --Ok, go ahead!

                                --…And that means I’ll have to fight to make a little difference?

                                --Kid, I think that you will change the whole world, trust me, I don’t say this to any other player…but you have to fight for that, although it’s like the real life!

                                --Yeah…it is!

                                --…So, are you ready for your first match?

                                --Y-yes…yes, I do! Let the game begins.

[mousehole5000]

tgcf again chapters 174-191. im now midway through book 4. pain and suffering. and yet also.... this is really good.... but also.... pain...

okay cave of ten thousand gods everythings coming out into the light.... xie lian pretending not to hear fengqing drop their act im emotional..... fengqing silently working together to separate xie lian and hua cheng im emotional..... every word that comes out of mu qing’s mouth im emotional....

honestly reading the xianle trio discussing hua cheng.. its very hard for me NOT to project all the times ive been in a friendship trio and someone got a boyfriend the other two didnt like (which was every time. theres never been a bf everyone liked. sometimes i was the one who had the bf. there were no winners then and tbh i predict there will be no real winners here as far as this friendship goes but such is life)

mu qing is so smart he’s clever he’s tricksy i love it i love him ugh

“A pair of arms had circled around him from behind, and hugged him with force all of a sudden. Xie Lian had buried his face in his back, and also didn’t speak. Though nothing was said, it was enough.” okay i cant get into every different way im feeling about whats going down bc it would get Too Personal but this..... im emo. also xie lian saying “something like this has to be said clearly“ and then proceeding to not say a word just going in for a hug is a mood

“He heard Hua Cheng’s staggering voice coming from above. “...Your Highness. You really…will be the death of me.” - ok well DONT SAY THAT!! now im worried!!!

“Hua Cheng, however, only snorted, appearing as if his eyes could see through the thick rocky walls. He said darkly, “Don’t worry. If he kills one, I’ll make ten more. Fast and furious like the storms, I will never back down. Let’s see who’s the one left standing in the end.” Xie Lian’s heart skipped a beat for some reason, and he mumbled inwardly, “... Oh no, this is bad.” Even though Hua Cheng’s expression was subconsciously displayed, Xie Lian really was quite weak to this aggressive and rebellious confidence of his.” - fjadskfajsl its okay xie lian honey you never know whats going to do it for you

okay so are the murals and statues are only from the xianle era? im hoping hua cheng didnt secretly follow xie lian during his time as a mortal during the entire 800 years and then pretend to a total stranger that would be too much imo lets see. i still really do get why feng xin and mu qing are like “...dude wtf lets get out of here stay away from that guy” (also tbh probably if theyd all managed to stay close... this probably wouldnt be happening which isnt a judgement im just saying bc thats definitely how ive felt about friendships) although this whole thing IS indeed tinged with homophobia which i still dont think makes sense in this setting but whatever i guess.

BOOK 4!!!! im scared

“A few days ago he nearly fainted, and it was only after that did he realize it was because he hadn’t had anything to eat for several days.” - unfortunately relatable but :(

“Ever since Xie Lian was young, he had never had to consider these kinds of affairs, and this was truly the first time in decades that this problem gripped him. However, if gods didn’t even know what starvation felt like, how could they possibly understand the feelings of a starving worshipper? How could they possibly empathize? At this point, he could only take this experience as a form of training.” - TRUE THO!!!!!!!! i like seeing this even tho the circumstances are sad

wait does xie lian get his bad cooking skills from him mom? im gonna cry...

“After returning to the city, Mu Qing’s stomach was still turning. He said as he stumbled, “I thought…that porridge, it smelled like bran water, but I hadn’t thought it’d taste like it too!” Feng Xin gritted his teeth. “Shut up! Don’t force people to remember that pot of stuff! The queen is…body of ten thousand gold after all…never cooked…this is already…UGH!…” Mu Qing humphed. “Did I say something wrong? If you didn’t think it was like bran water, why don’t you…go ask the queen to grant you another bowl! UGH!…” The two were heaving back and forth, and Xie Lian grabbed hold of the both of them, patting their backs.” - xianle trio.... including simply because it made me do the pleading emoji in real life..... also the way the queen wanted to feed all of them... weeping

i didnt realize that mu qing would still be around during this time.... god the fact that i know theyre all going to split......

“It’s precisely because it’s a time like this that money has to be brought up!” Mu Qing countered. “A time like this? What time is it? Time when we’re starving! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to admit it, but nothing can be done without money! Can you both not just suck it up a little bit?” - mu qing i love you. god.... for real the fact that he comes from a completely different background than the other two is so important to his character and i think it shows so much in the way he continues to be in the present. he gives me the vibe of someone who is smart and hardworking but is bitter about it and tbh!!!! i get why he is!!! he’s very aware of these kinds of concerns bc he’s had to be, while the other two kind of think theyre above it and its a big difference between them. he’s still separated by the circumstances of his birth despite how much harder he’s worked to get to where he is.... ugh painful and delicious

i really am enjoying the xianle story tbh. xie lian going from his highness, favored by heaven, well-intentioned but lacking in experience and understanding to living in poverty and fighting with mortals who disrespect him. fucking delicious i mean this sincerely and respectfully im sad but i really like his character arc. and then to how he is in the present....

“Mu Qing looked at him, speaking not a word. Then he bowed deeply and really turned around to walk away.” - OH NO ITS HAPPENING AHHHHH ;_; honestly all of this hurts but it feels real like i think mu qing has every right to want to leave honestly and he DOES have other family and other ambitions outside of the trio... and i get why feng xin is mad about him wanting to leave when theyre suffering!! and i get why xie lian lets him go.... friendships are hard man and the pain of them splitting is rough!!!!

“Mu Qing’s departure had really shocked him to the core. First, he had never thought that someone so close would just up and leave. Second, Xie Lian had always believed in “forever”. For example, friends would always be friends forever; no betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there’d be times when they’d part, but it for sure wouldn’t be over reasons like “life is too horrible” - pain. just pain. same as above i get it but it hurts

“Xie Lian didn’t know too well just how much money would be considered normal when buying over ten lanterns, and he never looked at the price tag when he purchased things in the past.” - i feel bad kicking him while he’s down and he’s still trying to be kind even when it costs him but this is the first thing that came into my mind

but also oh?? spirits of soldiers from the battlefield you say?? hmmm i wonder... who.... could possibly be among them....

“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said. The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.” -  i cant lie this legit gave me goosebumps lol

“Xie Lian himself was alright in suffering through it, since there were far too many other things to worry about. But his mother, who had lived a comfortable, luxurious life, when had she ever done such crude labour? But if the queen didn’t do this work herself, who else could take over?” - hmmmm!!! housekeeping!!!! it matters!!!! rich people dont appreciate how much until they have to do it themselves!!! but this still makes me sad

oh god THATS when they pawned hongjing?? with the king sick and mu qing leaving?? :(((( even more emotional about its appearances in the present day

“That passerby chuckled. “You don’t know? This is too exciting! The servant is beating the master!” - oh god the dramatic and ironic timing of it all

god..... this is just... a sad time....

“MU QING ISN’T LIKE YOU ALL. HE’S MY FRIEND, HE WOULD NEVER HELP YOU!!!” [cut to] “Those were the only words echoing in Xie Lian’s mind, but he couldn’t utter a single sound, and could only crazily grab at anything at his disposal to throw. He didn’t care who he was hurling at, either. Finally, Mu Qing couldn’t take this anymore, and he steeled his face as he swept his sleeves and left. Xie Lian panted harshly for a bit and fell back down, spacing out again.”- IM SAD!!!!!! tbh i wonder if on some level xie lian kind of felt like mu qing owed him? i know he said to forget about that stuff to both of them but its one thinig to say it and think you mean it and another to have to deal with it

white no-face what is your DEAL!! also all the little fire ghost bits im...

“After having exchanged so many words, Feng Xin finally got the gist of what had transpired. He widened his eyes and pointed at Mu Qing, unable to speak. A moment later, he bent down and grabbed a sack and flung it over, roaring. “SCRAM! SCRAM SCRAM SCRAM!” Mu Qing was hit in the face by the sacks of rice he brought and backed two steps away. All three of them in the house were panting harshly.” - this is it this is the part where i closed my laptop and said “noOOooOOOoooo” out loud to my room im so upset... and mu qing still tried to leave the rice even after the broom thing im ;_;

“Feng Xin was completely convinced that he would never do such a thing, but that was precisely why this had become the worst-case scenario!” - pain, suffering, dismay, etc

“Feng Xin continued, “If Your Highness thinks your life might be in danger, I can finish this for you, I won’t tell Her Majesty, haha.” - bless your heart for trying feng xin

“But it shouldn’t be like this. The Feng Xin of the past would have absolute faith in him no matter what! Even if there was only twenty percent doubt, it was still unbearable!” - AHHHHHHH okay idk if i really have much to say about their relationship other than im sad but IM SAD!!!!

the differences between feng xin and mu qing’s relationship with xie lian are so interesting. feng xin has clearly always idolized xie lian a lot while mu qing hasnt at least not in the same way and he seems like he has some resentment towards xie lian (thats how i read it anyway thats what i said about it at the beginning of book 2 and i think its understandable and can be a very real part of friendships) that feng xin doesnt and i just think thats neat!!

“He was firmly tied down upon the altar, that broken base of the statue under his body. There were many people squeezed below the altar, and pair after pair of round, unblinking eyes were watching him.” - hmmm dont think i like where this is going

“Yet, before he could finish, he realized that the white silk that he used to cover his face had been undone. In this moment, the thing that had him completely tied down was that exact white silk.” oh my god wait is this ruoye?? is ruoye that same ribbon???? ill cry

“The hand stained with blood, the one that ended a life, was immune to the Face Disease.” - ohhh shit okay. okay okay. okay. shit okay. i See now.... so if youre an innocent civilian the only way to escape this fate (and the faces are actually the souls of other innocent civilians) is to get rid of your innocence... and doesnt this disease not actually hurt its just horrific? god.............

“White No-Face pitied, “You think they don’t want to do it? Wrong, it’s not that they don’t want to, it’s solely because no one wants to be the first, that’s all.” - shut up!!! youre the one who created this situation dont fucking preach about the way you think the world is

“He forced down the mouthful of blood and hissed, “What are you laughing at? You think that you got what you wanted? This was all forced by you!” The ghost fire within the ghost’s hand flickered even more fiercely.” - yes exactly!!! you put people in extreme circumstances sometimes they do extreme things!! youve proved nothing!! god i do love when characters say exactly what im thinking. plus the first ones who caved were trying to save their child

“He felt that, if he was to let them do what they wanted, there was something in his heart that would never return to its original state.” - :( also i kind of feel that in my life sometimes and i just hope xie lian’s heart ends up in a state he’s happy with

“He didn’t dare to look at what had become of the person lying on the altar, because what laid there didn’t look human anymore.” AHHHHHH!!! :(((( i mean i get why this event is what made hc... level up??? thats not a good way to describe it fjasldkfjaslk but you know what i mean... that line about being powerless to help your beloved OOOOOOF

okay well finished that chapter im. pain. hmmm. pain. i dont know if i actually have any words rn lol but im gonna stop here for now

[guiltfilledsheath]

A Quest’s End and a Journey’s Beginning

   Yasuo’s passage of time has been very estranged for a long time now, though from the time he arrived at this place to this very point in time, he’s gathered it’s been a few weeks. There have been multiple attempts to ‘rid himself of his guilt’ and none of them were successful, and from that time, he fell into a deep state of sorrow. Insults towards himself were being generated so often and so swiftly that every waking moment was one of grief until he just became jaded to his own thoughts. There was no booze left in his gourd to numb any of his pain either, in fact, he’d been sober for the entirety of his time spent in this place.

   Thoughts of those he cared for, both the living and the dead, were the things that replayed often within his mind. From conversations to confessions, their battles both grand and small, and even the quiet moments, all of it flashed within his mind. It confused him why it would be such a constant reminder when he had already given up on having this place be his tomb. Was it just his mind being cruel to him yet again? Was it just a sick joke that his guilt demanded be replayed over and over since he was being a coward and running from his own commitment yet again? He didn’t know the answer, even as he spent another day staring off into the distance and watching as the sun was beginning to set.

   “This... this was suppose to be my grave... I was supposed to... but I can’t. Maybe it’s just that I am a just a frighten child who runs away from his problems, right down to my very core, and even a coward’s death evades me. Maybe it’s the ghosts of those who were slain by my blade that refuse to let me atone with my life. Maybe... I don’t know what the truth is... and maybe I have no right to know.” Yasuo would pause his musing before letting out a small sigh. “...Since there is no one here... maybe now is a good time to just let out this frustration in my chest and perhaps... I’ll finally find the answer I seek.”

   The ronin would slowly begin to shift and stand, using his sheathed weapon to assist in this effort. Once on his feet, he would plant the blade into the ground and take a few steps back to stare at it, treating it like it was another human being. “...I’m... I’m angry... I’m angry at myself for making the mistake of leaving for a battlefield, and discovering that not only was there no glory to be gained... but that I couldn’t save anyone... and worse yet... I let my master be slain. I’m angry at myself for not attempting to explain my side of the story... for not just admitting that I left him alone and that the real killer was still out there. I’m angry that I... that I...” His fists were balled up and shaking while he could feel a few tears beginning to form. “That I didn’t try harder to convince Yone... Out of everyone else... he was the only one who could’ve helped me... but I was scared of the pain, scared of being hurt so badly that I reacted out of panic and worry rather than kept a cool head and tried to figure out a way to make it work. I should’ve said something... anything... I shouldn’t have called out to him by name but rather by what he was to me... my brother... my big brother... blood be damned! He cared for me and I... and I... oh Gods why did I do it?!” He’d shout, dropping to his knees before his weapon, his forehead resting against the sheath while tears streamed down his cheeks.

   “Yone... Big Brother Yone... you always wanted the best for me... you never treated me any different even when my father turned out to be no better than your own. You never once let me feel like an outsider in our home... Why... Why didn’t I try harder to convince you? Was I truly so weak that what anger I held for you guided my actions during a moment where I sought a way out? Was I truly so blind that I didn’t even consider recruiting you to my side, even after everything we’ve been through and all you’ve done for me?! Why was I so STUPID?!” He’d hit his forehead against his weapon as he’d continue his sobbing. “All I ever wanted was for you to recognize me for my talent... was for us to go back to how we used to be... just two brothers trying to make life easier for our mother.” There was a long silence after he finished his moment and slowly he’d lift his head up to the sky, take a deep breath, and wipe the tears from his face before returning back to his feet. “*Sniff*... No... No this I not where I’m suppose to perish... And... And I... I’m scared... I’m scared but I... I know what I must do. Yun... Yun was right in the first place. I... I need to go back and see her while I still can. From there... from there I have to tell her everything and admit to my sins. If I truly seek forgiveness and to redeem myself... I need to start there. Mother... I... I pray you’re still around...” With that, he’d pull his weapon out of the ground and rush away from the location.

  It would take even longer for Yasuo to go from his current location all the way back home to Ionia, where he didn’t receive any welcome, which was far better than he’d expected. Of course, he didn’t care about how others saw him right now, even with how disheveled he’d appeared, he had but one goal in his mind, find his mom. This task was... actually easier than he expected since she hadn’t moved from her spot in all the time he and his brother had been gone. However, as he walked up to the door to his own home, he’d pause and look at his hand which was shaking. Thoughts of running away or leaving a note entered his mind and there were a few moments when he turned his back to the door before turning again to face it. His breathing was shaky, he could feel his body screaming at him to flee, but he’d take a moment to try and calm himself down. Then... he knocked on the door. ‘Just a moment!’ was a familiar voice that called out from another room before the sound of someone rising up and moving towards the door came from behind the wooden frame. ‘Yes how can I-’ There was a pause as a middle-aged woman opened the door and nearly fell backwards when she saw who it was that came to her door. 

“...Hi mom.” The woman’s eyes widened for a moment before her expression grew stern and she folded her arms over her chest. ‘I only had one son... and you killed him.’ Yasuo froze as those words left his mother’s lips and he could feel agony unlike what he felt before, though... he had managed to muster up a smile, trying to mask his hurt before scratching the back of his head. “Ha... ha ha ha... that... that’s true! Ha... ha ha! S... Sorry there ma’am I-” Yasuo was cut off when his mother sent her fist right into the top of his head and forced the swordsman to his knees while he clutched the area that was struck. ‘DO YOU THINK SO LITTLE OF ME THAT I’D ABANDON MY ONLY CHILD LEFT?!’ She shouted, catching the attention of a few onlookers. The ronin looked up at her as tears began to form. ‘...I’ve had a lot of time to think Yasuo, I’ve had a lot of hurt to work through. My sons... my boys had to fight each other and... I had no idea if I should be angry or ashamed that it came to that.... My only family left since your grandparents passed... and I was forced to outlive one of my children and guess if I’d outlive the other.’ Tears began to form in her eyes now while she struggled to keep her stern expression, however, she’d wipe them away before they fell. ‘Yasuo... you abandoned me and you killed your brother. I was ready to disown you as my son... I was ready to greet you as a stranger... but as days turned to weeks, weeks months, and months years... I thought about everything that has happened to me. How both men who entered my life left the moment I was giving birth to their children... how my children, who I swore would resent each other, ignored the issue of blood and treated each other like true family. How cruel life was to force brother against brother with no way for their fight to end with both of them standing... Yasuo... I’ve had time to think... and I’ve had time to figure out what I want to say to you.’ She’d slowly begin to crouch down and bring her hands to his face to make him look her in the eyes. ‘You’re still my son. I understand... I understand the corner you felt you were backed into. I understand the grief you must’ve felt over killing Yone. But Yasuo... my child... I forgive you.’ Yasuo’s face slowly began to twist into a sorrowful mess as the tears flowed free and rapidly from eyes, his mother’s expression softening now as she gently stroked his cheek with one thumb. “M...Mom!” He’d shout before scrambling to close the gap between them and embrace her smaller form while she let out a little gasp in surprise before pausing for a moment. She’d then reach as best she could to hold her child.

   “I’m sorry!” He’d weep, shaking while he held her. “I’m so sorry! I-I should’ve listened! I-I should’ve come home! I should’ve tried to convince him!” He just started to weep now while his mother did her best to provide him with comfort. ‘Yasuo... There’s no changing the past... but you can change what happens now. Come... wipe those tears and let’s talk more inside. I’m sure you have much to tell me...’

  With that the two of them went inside, and Yasuo would talk for a long time, confessing everything. His mother would frown throughout it all, occasionally gasping and covering her mouth for certain parts, namely what the point of his quest was. There was a lot of scolding from his mother in regards to a number of things he’d done, however, she did soften her expression and managed to smile as he walks over to him. ‘Yasuo. For the first time, without your brother behind you, you’ve finally decided to stand and confront the consequences of your actions. So for you... as your mother... allow me to tell you what you must do in order to make it up to, not only myself, but, everyone else you’ve wronged.’ The swordsman flinched, though he’d grip his seat and let out a small breath. “Alright...” His mother looked at him for a brief moment. ‘Just so you know... this may not redeem you or ease any of your guilt. You may have to carry that with you till you reach the end of your life. Do you think you can handle that?’ Yasuo could feel himself wanting to leave, but he opted to bounce his leg and tighten his grip while he takes a deep breath. “I-I... I don’t know... but... I’ll try.” ‘...Alright. First... you must go visit the graves of those you’ve slain, make an offering to their spirits, and ask for forgiveness, especially the one of Yone. Second, you must visit the families of the fallen and beg for their forgiveness as well... and you must be fine with them rejecting your apology. After that... it’s up to you what you should do to atone. As your mother, I can only offer you this as advice. In truth... you need to find a way to forgive yourself for what you’ve done before the true answers you seek for redemption make themselves known. While you’re in the area, you’re free to use this place as one where you can rest between your acts, You’re also free to stay here as long as you need, provided you’re willing to work for your supper and lodging, but I will be reminding you of what needs to be done. ...Should you choose to leave again, I just ask that you promise me to either come back someday and write to me until you do. It doesn’t have to be often... but just enough to let this old woman know that she doesn’t have to prepare another grave... alright?’ She’d smile at him. Yasuo had yet to look at her, doing his best to take in everything, and once he had, he’d take a deep breath and then look at her and smile a bit. “Old women don’t punch nearly as hard as you do mom,” He’d jest while slowly standing up. “I promise... Tomorrow... I’ll... get right to... work...” He’d managed to get out before collapsing, much to his mother’s surprise as she did her best to catch him. 

  Upon holding him, she discovered just how exhausted her son was, and she’d let out a small sigh before shaking her head. ‘...You can rest for now dear... Tomorrow is the second best time to start making good on your promise... for now just rest.’

//This is now the cannon of this blog. My Yasuo will now be wandering, searching for a way to redeem himself for his past. He’ll also be seeking to better himself. Any interactions will be post-grave visits (unless you want to interact with him during those visits). 

This does not affect any AUs. 

[kian-bera]

Lost in a dream

The room was filled with smoke, only it was a field, not a room. John heard the cannons roaring, and the bullets pelting the enemy. He also heard the blood rushing through his body. He heard a stranger calling for him, but everything was fuzzy. John thought he saw his brother James. James has died years ago. He thought to himself that maybe he was hallucinating. John did not know how he arrived at the battle in the first place. Before closing his eyes, he saw the guy with ginger hair hovering over him.

When John awoke, he was in a tent. Many men laid around him, bleeding and wrapped in bandages. Sitting up, he saw the tent was larger than he thought. Hundreds of men lay side by side, sole in the same bed. John slowly crawled from his bed and stood up. John found his arm was in a sling. Taking a sharp breath, he began wandering around the tent. John saw, the ginger laying in a bed, blood gushing from his side. The stranger was calling for John, but John walked away.

The farther he wandered, he bigger the tent seem to reach. John finally found the edge of the tent. Walking outside, the thick smoke wrapped tighter around John. He quickly found a jacket, covering his face with the material. John squinted his eyes and walking into the smoke. He heard laughter and crying. John caught the glance of a pink dress and ginger hair. He gave a small laugh as the little girl twirled around him, before disappearing into the grey air. From where the little girl disappeared John’s wife appeared.

“John sweetie, you need to wake up.” Martha told John.

“I’m already awake.”

“Darling please, you are having a nightmare.”

“A nightmare?”

“Yes a nightmare. Now please wake up.” Martha extended her hand out to John, but he didn’t take it. Instead, he walked through the thick smoke, which eventually turned into a bright field. He saw everyone he had ever loved running and playing in the field. More people, like the ginger haired stranger from the battlefield was there as well. John had no idea what was going on. He jumped as his mother came up behind him, giving him a big hug.

“My handsome son, you have grown up to be a brave strong man.” His mother Elenor rested her hand under his chin. John heard a small familiar voice calling for his mom, and turned to see his brother James. John stood there shocked as his little brother was picked up by their mother.

“I...I thought you were dead…” John stuttered looking amazed.

“I am Jackie. You’re just dreaming.” James jumped from their mom’s arms to John’s “You are really cool brother.” James took some of John’s blonde hair and twisted it into a small braid.

“Who are all these people?” John asked his mother looking around at all the people in the field.

“I believe some you already know.” Elenor told her son smiling at him.

“Well I mean, yes, I recognize my wife, you and James, my other siblings, and Kinlocke, but who are everyone else. I don’t recognize the man with ginger hair, or the little girl in the pink dress.”

“Oh but you will, soon, my darling. Now please wake up, Martha needs you now.” Elenor told him kissing his forehead. “Remember, mama is always here to protect you.” With those words, the field began to fade as John was taken back to reality. Martha was beside him, her ginger hair a mess, and she was screaming. John snapped out of his dream like state, jumping off the bed.

“Are….are you okay?” John asked rushingbiver to Martha.

“N...no….go...go get a doctor. I...I’m having the baby…” Martha screamed, squeezing his hand in hers. John nodded and ran down the road to find a doctor. Several hours later, John did not hear screaming anymore from the bedroom. The doctor came out, carrying a small baby wrapped tightly in a blanket.

“Congratulations Mister Laurens. Both you wife and daughter made it through the birth. Martha is going to need to rest in bed for a few days though, and she may be in pain.” The doctor laid John’s daughter into his arms before asking where he could wash himself. John pointed to a side bedroom and smiled at the tiny child in his arms.

“Awww, look at John smiling in his sleep.” A voice giggled in the distance. John glanced up from his child and glanced around to find where the voice was coming from.

“Now he looks worried.” Another voice said. John stirred from his sleep to find another tent over him. The ginger from his dreams was standing over him, and someone else along with him.

“Hey John, are you okay?” The ginger asked.

“What...what happened?” John asked sitting up. He looked back and forth between the two men, knowing he should recognize the two men in front of him. “Who are you?” John asked.

“You must’ve hit your head pretty hard if you don’t remember your two best friends.” The ginger told him. “My name is Alexander, and this is Lafayette.”