#birb-boy-official

[kheprriverse]

I’ve kidnapped your boy for Valentines Day

You can get him back on February 15th

WAIT!!! NO!!!

HE'S GOT A WIFE!!! HE'S GOT A WIFE!!

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Hey um

Working on a WIP and Sky gets a concussion

But I’ve never had a concussion before, so I was wondering if you can help me out with side effects and stuff

@/nancyheart11 recommend that I ask you, but you’re very scary and it’s okay if you don’t want to or cant answer this

Here you go! :)

[birb-boyo]

Are you/were you oot-link-love?

Yep!

Twas me

Hello anon😌

[a-twistedheartslonging]

IM LOVING UR NONHUMAN AU.

Do you think Crowley would be protective of us? Maybe fend off the beasties that try to court us?

That's a cute thought.

Realistically, Crowley is a dick that often leaves the protagonist to fend for their self and pushes them to take care of dangerous stuff that they really shouldn't have to.

But on the other hand…hehe birb dad.

One of the reasons he avoids us is because of the whole us “wanting a way home thing.”

Imagine his surprise when you tell him you would rather stay. Maybe you don't have a family, maybe the family you have is horrible, or maybe it's because our world is a polluted mess with a cruddy economy. Regardless it means he doesn't have to (pretend) to put in the work of sending you home. 

Well, as long as there's a place for you to stay that is. He is sort of your guardian and it would be in the best interest of himself and the entire school if you stayed.

Now a thing I like to think about…this man is likely lonely. I mean, a lot of people don't like the guy. (for good reason) The students and teachers are tired of his shit, though he and Trien seem to be homies and have tea together, the guy’s cat still hates him. Crowley also doesn't have a mate or any hatchlings waiting at home for him.

Combine the guilt trip of having nowhere else to go, add his loneliness, and then butter the guy up. I would say you have a good chance of getting him attached.

Imagine he sees you heading his way and is about to screw off cuz he doesn't want to deal with whatever thing you need to get fixed or have to complain about, you catch the sleeve of his coat before he can, and so he braces himself. But instead of asking him for something or scolding him you simply ask him about his day and how he's doing.

Birdman is shook.

Bit by bit the tasks and chores he gives you are ones where you'll be around him or he’ll randomly pop in to check in on you while doing them. Soon you end up being the preferred person for making and bringing him his tea. He pretends to nap on his office couch while you do his paperwork. May even ask you to help him file his claws on occasion. If it wasn't so dire for you to take care of things at the school he would be half tempted to bring you along on one of his vacations. If you give him anything it's going on his desk and he will brag about it to anyone who enters his office.

His cheap ass isn't going to spoil you but he will bring you small gifts. Usually the random shiny thing and small souvenir from his trips away. You might start finding loose feathers around Ramshackle and more crows around who also bring small things.

He starts thinking up plans for you to stay on as official faculty of the school once graduating. Of course, it's only because you are super useful and not because he’ll miss you or anything…

It doesn't really hit him until after he sees one of the teachers getting all father figure-y with you and he gets jealous.

Displeased bird noises.

Even before he started to get attached to you he did keep an eye on you, your easy prey amongst beasts after all, but he does develop a habit of popping in more when a boy happens to show his interest in you…or anytime he thinks someone is trying to sneak in and swipe his unofficial dad role…he does a lot of that with Crewel and Trien in particular.

Still, even with his affection for you, he’s still very much…him and the boys know this. Not long till he finds the more well-off beasty boys in his office offering donations to the school in exchange for certain things. More info about you, making you a member of his dorm, ect. A few have learned that the best thing to butter him up with is to talk about what a kind and generous father figure he is and how lovely it would be for Crowley to give the perfect away on their wedding day.

As a result, he, and probably Grim, are going to nudge you toward certain preferred suitors.

[treasure-goblin]

Helloooo, its Cal! Local wall imp, duende, and treasure goblin! They said I could be anything, so i became everything! Welcome to my lair!

My talk tag will fluctuate, but will mostly be #cal rambles and #tre talks

The preferred name is Cal, but please call me Reyes/Hector/Isabelle when specified

Here's my Lu Elementary School Au Masterpost, if you want to take a look at it. And this is the Hero of Death's Mercy Masterpost , my original Link story.

Post Links

Cal remember you did this

Boop Policy

Cal Reacts

What animal should cal be poll

Color ask game!

Dashboard Access

Butterfly/moth ask game

Blog vibes ask game

Playlist Oc Chllange

Void Encouragement

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

I have other blogs!!

@winniepooh-luvins is a blog for my pupper!

@boaz-posts is a blog for my cat!

@poeticrambler is my poetry blog!

@pics-from-the-imp is my photography blog!

I'm a pall werson and a part of the hurricane family!

I use they/them (though they might fluctuate between they/them and we/our for reasons), and am aroace and audhd.

My parents are @i-may-be-an-emu, @link-or-sherlock, @circusislife, and @/parental-advice-fierce-deity (if you tag them in my shenanigans I will be grounded SO PLEASE DONT!! /lh) and an assortment of Tias and Tios, including @eyehandanonaccount

My siblings are @baileyboo2016 and @trippygalaxy @fingerfuck-the-function (katnip), @linksarehere, @animalsandskyyy, @isasan347 , @massk, @autism-criminal, @cloud-anon, and @sleepy-artist27!

My "official" children are @birb-boy-official and @vio-starzz, although I love all my unofficial children as well (unofficial = literally everyone else my brain has declared as my child lmao)

My cousin is @finleyforevermore!

@callmeshinso is my cousin/sibling/relative!

I am somehow related to @l3ominor and @the-cucco-nuggie I forget how.

I'm into a lot of fandoms and random topics, but I'm always down to listen to a random info dump about anything under the sun! All I ask for is no NSFW interaction!

4 others use this blog sometimes, very rarely, and the talk tags will reflect that.

#cal rambles = Cal

#tre talks = Tre

#reyes = Reyes

#H = Hector

#Izzy🌺 = Isabelle

[andromedasummer]

ik I'll just google them but WHITE KIWI EXISTS?? there is a white version of that funny birb???

theyre not a SPECIES per say. so, there are five whole officially recognised kind of kiwi!!!

North Island Brown Kiwi:

Tokoeka (Southern Brown Kiwi)

Rowi (Ōkarito Brown Kiwi, the rarest!)

Little Spotted Kiwi

And the Great Spotted Kiwi (Roroa!)

(info on them here)

and then, there's Manukura

First of three white kiwi born in the same wildlife park. She's a North Island Brown Kiwi and her parents both had recessive albinism genes. The conservation and breeding staff had no indication that anything with their genes was different and fully expected a typical north brown kiwi from her egg until she hatched in 2011 and gave everyone a MASSIVE shock. They ended up having two more white kiwi after her (including Mapuna, her little brother!)

"Manukura was born in the Pukaha / Mount Bruce National Wildlife Centre. The bird was born in May 2011 with a rare genetic condition that made it all white, instead of brown

She was named by Rangitāne leader, Mike Kawana; her name is the Māori word for 'chiefly status'." (Wikipedia)

People thought she was a boy at first! Then when she was 1 they realized their mistake. She was beating up male kiwi.

Manakura died in 2020 after having surgery. she stopped eating for a month because she was unable to pass an unfertilized egg and they tried to remove it and then had to remove parts of her ovaries. She's very sorely missed, there were storybooks about her. I believe the other white kiwi live on, which is wonderful.

There are some white Kiwi in the wild! But most Kiwi that dont live in protected parks (where they're bred to increase population) are killed by stoats or rats. It's like a solid 90% of them that pass unfortunately. It's part of the reason Predator Free 2050 is in motion (removal of all introduced vermin harming our native birds and trees. This includes possums, ferrets, stoats and rats which are responsible for 25% of extinct flora and fauna species here in NZ since arriving on boats when colonization began)

Here is another white kiwi dancing in front of one of the many predator monitoring cameras within the sanctuary it lives in.

And if you're asking "Wow, Liv, you know a lot about native birds in NZ" the answer to why that is, is my dad worked for DOC until my mid twenties and as a small autistic child it made conservation efforts the center of my world. So naturally that meant details about Kiwi, Kakapo, Kaka, Huia, Moa etc were locked away in the "INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT PRIMARY INFORMATION" part of my brain along with how to tell a male and female mallard apart, what to do in an earthquake and how to notice and prevent hypothermia and survive until finding help in deep bushland

[rainbowchaox]

Okay so we already know that Jimmy officially has a leather jacket (which in my mind is tango jacket and anyone would probs be able to guess so- he has fire and moon patches on it along with canary wings and the bad boy logo)

I sorta imagine that Joel and Grian already had the leather jackets in their luggage they brought for the season but Jimmy didn’t so he was anxious Birb a good hour because he doesn’t have a leather jacket. He need one to not look like he’s uncool compared to others. So Tango just like you have rancher privileges you can have one of my numerous leather jackets I have in my luggage (look at Tango- he wears leather jackets)

But Jimmy rips a portion of his old clothes and makes Tango a bow tie out of it, Skizz is confused because he is wearing all red but a blue bow tie and it looks kinda unfashionable.

Anyways! Jimmy and tango are fighting it out one day and Jimmy trips over a rock which cuts his hand a bit. Cue tango taking off his homemade bow tie and tying it around his cut with a ugly looking knot. Skizz wonders where his ugly bow tie went later during the night.

[tomb-of-heroes]

Hello again! This week's featured writer is a talented individual named Shade (aka @birb-boy-official)(he/him), who has many proud works including an AU called The Legend of Zelda: Shattered Souls.

Shade does run a writing blog (@stories-from-the-shaded-moon) where many fandoms may appear, as well as an Ao3 account (ShadyScripter) where his works are also featured.

𝕾𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖊'𝖘 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖐𝖘:

"Bonds of the Knights" - Adventure fic/Slight angst w/ Wars and Sky

"Village Square" - Cute bonding moment between Wind and Time over silly dances

"Field Play" - Lighthearted (but concentrated) sparring session between Sky and Time

"Twenty Rupees is Twenty Rupees" - Silly chain moment during break

Requests?

Asks open on main Requests open via writing blog

Tags?

#the shady lad writes #screams from the shade

[trippygalaxy]

I want to see my husband.

please.

i do not care. Fluffy enough I get cavities?

Hell yeah.

Angsty enough to be on r/im14andthisisdeep?

Hell yeah.

Trippy i want to see my husband.

Oooo...Mmmmm We'll see how this goes >:)

HAHAHAH NEVER ALLOW ME TO LISTEN TO MITSKI WHILE WRITING >:)

Pairing: Legacy (HW!link)xgn!reader Warnings: ANGSTTT!!!, Character death implied, mourning,

It was suppose to be a normal day for you two, it was suppose to be spent inside, tangled in eachothers arms with flickering candles and wool blankets to give you warmth. You were suppose to feel his scarred fingers mingling with your locks, you were suppose to feel his full lips kissing the cold metal of your engagement ring, you were suppose to feel him.

But you don't. And you can't.

Hes gone, hes gone and you dont know where he went. No one does, no one ever will. Hes gone. Your fiancée is gone.

It was suppose to be a normal patrol of the castle walls, he was only meant take a few hours, he should of arrived to your home at noon with the suns rays beaming through your curtains but...but now it the sun has long since rested past the horizon. The cold moon casting haunting shadows in your colder house. They play tricks on you, the shadows, they trick you with vague shapes of your lover just out of sight.

--

After your clock had struck 2 hours past noon, you had marched to the castle with a heart heavy with worry.

No one had dared to stand in your way as you march your way to the Queens quatres. You were a trusted ally, you had fought beside the Queen during the war and your (now...was?) fiancée. They knew you wouldn't dare harm the Queen...But they also knew what sort of death would be upon them if they dared to step infront of your path. And no one could stop their flinch when the echoes of your anguished screams filled the midday halls. No one could imagine your reaction --no one want to imagine it less they wished for their heart to break-- to the dreaded words the Queen spoke.

"Link...He is missing. We've lost track of him and their has been no signs of him other than...this." The Queen handed you his engagement ring that loosely hung from a leather strap.

He worn the ring around his neck to protect it from the grime and blood that stained his perfect hands. He...He always kept it safe and close to his chest, saying...He said it was how he longed to treated you. Close...Safe...Never stained by the horrors he would face day in and day out. He- He promised to come home...he promised to...He promised.

You demanded they searched for him, you demanded they never rested until he was found, you demanded that they brought the sun to him through torches and warm smiles. You demanded for your fiancee to be brought back to you. You--- You... You collapsed onto the cold floor of the Queen's quatres.

And even as she raced to your side with whispered promises to bring him back, the Queen wasn't able to console your suffering heart, no one could but him.

--

So there you lay, clutching his ring to your chest with eyes red and dry, cheeks stained with tears that could never even begin to convey a fraction of your despair with shadows mocking your lost with such malice you begin to think you deserve it all.

taglist: @the-cucco-nuggie @yourlocaltreesimp @quiteliterallyilliterate @birb-boy-official

[uttotheegg]

intro post i guess!

💥COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN💥

PROSHIPPERS DNI

hullo, im Utto and I use he/they/it pronouns!

REBLOGS OF MY ART ARE SO APPRECIATED YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

MY ART BLOG: @uttos-arts

also check out the other blogs that i mod: @official-arbys and @our-wholesome-confessions and @number1-grubbin-fan

and check out my wonderful partners!!!!!: @birb-jpeg @prince-seal

theyre both wonderful artists and amazing peoples

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Random facts about me under cut

(pride star dividers by @/sister-lucifer)

i love and am always open to talking about: tardigrades, isopods, mushrooms, art, UT/DR, weird and funky music, musicals like RTC and little shop of horrors, tv shows like TOH and ENA, TTRPGs like Wanderhome, and books like cemetery boys, legends and lattes and they both die at the end!

I post art, poetry and random stuff here sometimes that youll be able to find under the tags #Utto egg’s art , #Utto egg’s poetry , and # utto being stupid !

ill probably add more to this later when i think up some more stuff 👍

i hope yall have a good day!! 🫶

[fingerfuck-the-function]

I'd like to thank some people for sticking with me and tolerating me through the year , I know I'm not a very tolerable person and I really appreciate yall

I know I can be rude and cold at times , I can be distant and uncaring , I know I don't start conversations , I know I'm not really fun to be around , I know I can be boring and annoying , and despite all of that , yall tolerated me , I really can't be more thankful to you guys <3 ( i haven't talked to some of you in a long time but I still do appreciate you and am grateful to you )

@linksarehere @howl-at--the-sun @birb-boy-official @deadboywalking227 @there-go-the-water-works @call-me-frosting-or-not-idc @cal-the-duende @cannibalistic-cucumber @baileyboo2016 @a-random-somebody @ineffablake @is-apotato @taruuu @circusislife @cutest-big-dragon @that-f-cked-up-bitch @panic-like-the-disaster-you-are @hershey-the-person @link-or-sherlock @smolchildonmonster @astral-catastrophe

And of ofcourse! MY BELOVED PARTNER @finleyforevermore! <333

I love y'all soooo much!

[sleepyhead-poll]

ROUND 3B, MATCH 1 OUT OF 4!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Kuro:

He's the personification of sloth. He just wants to sleep and do nothing, turns into a literal sleepy kitty in the sunlight

Official name is sleepy. Lazy af embodiment of sloth. The plotline is partially just about motivating this guy to care about things and do stuff. His animal form is a tiny kitten he curls up into.

Please vote for Kuro!! He's just an itty-bitty kitty that wants to sleep!!! He would literally rather starve than go through the effort to drink blood!!! Just look at his kitten form!!!! [Click link to see image]

Nanaki Kazuaki:

he is a school teacher who falls asleep in his classes quite often (usually in the middle of talking) and his students have to wake him up.

i feel like this misses the most important part of hatoful boyfriend which is: that nanaki is a quail the bird there. is actually him. hato moa was kind enough to give us cute anime boy representations, but the characters in hatoful boyfriend are all birds (except the MC, who is a human girl). he's also a brilliant mathematical genius, but his narcolepsy makes him fall asleep mid-lecture... please vote for the sleepy birb! (and play/read Hatoful Boyfriend, it rules!) [Click link to see image]

[twst-beam]

You have received an invitation!

What: The Wedding of @officialdaydreamer00 Irene, @identity-theft-101 Identity, Jade, and Floyd Leech

When: July 30, 2023

Where: Coral Beach (chairs and picnic blankets will be provided, but feel free to bring your own!)

What to Wear: sea foam green with white accents for the bridesmaids, red with yellow accents for the groomsmen

Wedding Officiator: @siren-serenity

Best Women: @harper-lemonorange and @azulashengrottospiano Auburn Ashengrotto

Bridesmaids: @shinysparklesapphires Sapph, @valerie-leech Valerie,

Best Men: Azul Ashengrotto and [?]

Flower Boy(s): Cater Diamond,

Official Cake Decorator: @cecilebutcher Cecile

Usher(s): @honkai-freak

Guests: @ryker-writes, @dove-da-birb,

Hope to see you there!

[majorproblems77]

Hi! Its time for a Recalled update! :D

Ive been following this comic for a while and i really enjoy the concept for it, I highly recommend you go and check it out over at @recalled11.

It's an interesting take on the links meet idea and i love the art style and the character designs.

Now, this is a rambly post, no I'm not sorry. Please sit with me, grab some popcorn and some hot chocolate or a hot drink of choice. Prepare to sit for like 30 minutes :D

Also prepare for blorbo hype cause he's here too :D

Lets get started!

All panels belong to @recalled11 thanks for the permission! :D

Alright here we go!!!

First off, it must must be said.

These backgrounds are incredible. like, oh yes oh hell yeah *chefs kiss* I love them.

So at first i was a little confused about the glowing eye, i was looking back at the other pages and back to here and thinking about if it's just a Wild thing. Which would make sense right?

Then they throw this curve ball

MAIN QUEST EYE GLOW, IS HE THE MAIN CHARACTER? DO THEY ALL HAVE THE GLOW EYEBALL OF QUEST TRACKING?

I DONT KNOW YET BUT I'LL FIND OUT.

Man's like, bionic? eye is doing work for us and I'm here for it. the blue glow as well, yes. Just yes.

Also with this panel. We know each of the arrows while a Link is holding it points to a Link. The same goes for Zelda.

And i've been brainstorming who is who.

So, If I've got this right, based off what i could figure out in panels where the compass appears.

Mainly this one

From directionless 2

White (Blue white?) - Wild

Green - Time

Blue - Captain

And now

Yellow - Sky

Let me know if you think it's different! :D

Moving on!

The detail in this is making me so excited, I'm wondering what it means when an arrow acts like this. Is it travelling towards the compass? It is exclusive to just Sky's point? Little thunderbolts spark from it.

Maybe im reading too far into this but the others dont do this, so Im definitely intrigued by this!

I love a full-body shot of anyone, and I love how Wild looks! The little poncho and the details with the scaring!

Now...

BIRB BIRB BIRB

MY BELOVED LOFTWINGS :DDDDDDD

Now I've not found any official names for the loftwings yet, I personally use Crimson and Luna. And will differ to these unless told otherwise. But if there are official names please please tell me! :D

Also is this the camera attachment? A zoom feature? I figure we are gonna see more of wilds ability as we go through but I'm thoroughly enjoying finding out what he can do!

This is the correct reaction when you see a GIANT BIRD flying at you at speed. The people of Wild's world have been through so much at this point the assumption of another monster first its absolutely fair.

HIM

THE BIRB

NDKJSAGNJKFDLSBGKJ;DAFD

When I tell you I had happy clappy hands at this panel I mean my phone fell to the floor with more than a thud.

There's a lot to unpack here, first the reigns with that little gold detailing from the clasp. The saddle? Is it a saddle for loftwings? The leather straps around Link's loftwings.

And Sky's design!

If you know me you know that SKSW is my fave game and that SS link if my fave in pretty much every AU that i encounter. This one is no exception

I'll go into detail later, when we have the detailed screenshots. But just look at my boy!

Also the goggles were a nice touch! It just makes sense for them to wear them, they fly so damn fast imagine the dust.

Captain is a fight first ask questions later, man is ready to go!

Crimson is out here getting half pages and he deserves every inch of space he gets. Such an extra boy and i love him. The details with the feathers flying from both of them too. I love it. I love them

Loftwings my beloved!

Shout out to Zelda for landing Luna not right in the way of everyone, Sky please. Your scaring the adults. The kids think it's cool and want a ride.

But the detailing on the feathers and the eyes even from this far is just incredible.

Crimson please, your scaring the adults. Im here for just the amount of people in lookout landing who sprung to its defense.

While wild is just up here chilling out, This is a totally normal Tuesday!

this reminds me of my chill cat and it makes me love Zelda's loftwing even more. Just a birb chilling.

And this reminds me of my other cat. Loud noises!

Are loftwings in this universe just giant cats? Two types, Chill and crazy.

The real mvp right here. He is ready to fight the big bird.

From a later panel, we can see that the one at the back here is Captain. This means he not only drew his sword he was straight-up ready to fight by this point. He is fast!

Sky my beloved, god I love his design so much.

Also captain's face, He's seen the green tunic and is like. Well, its another child to add to our collection better put the sword away before he does something.

Yes malon, yes they are! And they are wonderful! :D

Time looks worried, is Time afraid of birds? My understanding of oot is that he and the owl were friends?

My fave panel, the best boy with best birb.

Crimson totally knows this is a comic and breaks the forth wall to smile at the reader as well as the others in lookout landing. I love the details here. I love him so much.

He know's he is stunning and will flaunt it every opportunity he gets

Also Sky and Sun having matching sailcloths? I am in love. I love them both.

I'm gonna mention the feathers now too. I love the details of them having their loftwing feathers in their hair as like a head dress. That's such a cool idea i love it!

These two panels had me laughing I wont lie.

First off, Sun responds to Hylia. That is the face of someone who's heard their name. Second off, Flower is a mood. running out of bed with a sword, questions later style.

The detail on Zelda's loftwing too. Such a pretty creature. So well-behaved.

Also, Zelda(flower) asking captain what's happening and the link responds rather than one of her captains.

I really like captain, He's a chill guy. while Sky is just confused. Really cool of captain to be the one to introduce first, he seems to be the one who will be the main referral when it comes to authority. I assume he will be the one who introduces first for all of them.

Time for me to be excited about their designs.

Skyloftian goggles, I love it. It just makes so much sense.

I love Sun, Her dress, the way she's got an sailcloth wrapped around her shoulders like that, the way she's got loftwing feathers not only behind her ears but at the end of her longest braid too. I'm very excited to see more with her.

And Sky! where do i start without going on a twenty minute rampage about him. The way he's got his sailcloth around one shoulder like that. I assume to make it easier to use if he ever needs to use it to land. The loftwing feather hanging off his belt. (Which I notice Zelda doesn't have. Is this just a him thing?)

I can't get over the headdress with the loft wing feathers. Is that a skyloftian thing? Is it ceremonial? Is it because they wanted matching headgear?

I want to know more about Skyloftians in this universe.

Also totally not Sky being an absolute cinnamon roll. Beloved. I love him.

Time and Malon are an absolute mood. time just existing in a state of confusion. And Malon being excited about loftwings. Me too malon, Me too! Let Malon ride one of the loft wings as soon as possible.

Captain behaving like a dad already. Gives me 'Where is the wild child' vibes. Which is funny, cause Wild is older than him.

Oh and I will mention the scars on Sky's face, I love the scars that they all have. It's all so detailed. Sky's lightning, Captain's burns. And the two cuts on his face.

The fact that this is an expression at all, let alone one that the rest of them are not going to understand cause you know, No remlits on the surface. Poor cinnamon roll man is confused.

Again chill dude with all the friends, i love Captain so much. He's just here to help you out.

Oh man, I enjoyed this update, this was good. I love Sky he is wonderful.

Im sure she can and im very excited to see what's next!

thanks for listening to me ramble for so long. I'm gonna get something to eat and you should too.

See you later! :D

[shadowlinktheshadow]

@mushr0oms-and-m0ss @vio-starzz @birb-boy-official @trippygalaxy budder™ has arrived

[iapetusneume]

Wing Tier List - Primarch Version

So, because my partners encouraged me to write this and there seems to be a few mutuals who are interested, I’ve compiled my Wing Tier List for the Primarchs. This is inspired by this post about an exchange between Jaghatai Khan and Mortarion shortly after Mortarion ascended to be a Daemon Primarch. I am in no way an expert in 40k tabletop rules or lore - these rulings were made mostly off of Vibes with a dash of the lore that I know - or of wings on fictional characters. I’m just someone who has spent way too much time thinking about this.

I should also mention that, while it is impossible for me to be Normal about liking Sanguinius, this did not influence the actual rankings.

(I’m going to try to use official art as best I can.)

So, let’s get to it!

Contender: Sanguinius of the Blood Angels

Because to start off with anyone else would be heresy. His wings are so well-known that he carries the nickname “the Angel” among his brothers as well as the other Legions. Jokingly and lovingly called Hawk-Boy by fandom. Commonly-known in canon as one of the two most prettiest primarchs. Wings so significant that when I went to google “which primarchs have wings” to make sure I wasn’t missing someone Obvious, I got this:

Yeah, I didn’t even say Sanguinius in my search, but Google just Knew. (And also, thank you so much to @plagueplanethq​ for helping me fact-check how many Primarchs actually have wings.)

Anyways. Sanguinius is first to be evaluated because he’s the OG winged-primarch. He’s also happens to be the only Loyalist on this list.

Analysis: When setting out to do the look for Sanguinius, the original artists leaned in super hard to the “Angel” keyword and not so much the “vampire” part. If you showed me a picture of Sanguinius before I was into 40k and asked me what he is, I would have never guessed “vampire.” I have seen these sorts of wings hundreds of times. Are they nicely done? Oh definitely. Does he make it look good? Absolutely. How unique is it? ...not really? He’s an angel, and has white wings. The artists understood the assignment and did a great job, but this isn’t exactly new:

7 / 10

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Contender: Angron of the World Eaters

Analysis: When a dude has a nickname like “the Red Angel,” well, of course he’ll eventually get wings. I was a little worried at first that this was going to be too much “traditional demon or devil” wings, but I do like some of the detail on the model! Doing skin and/or scales for the wings also feels more practical for someone pledged to Khorne, because it feels like a chance of less maintenance than if feathers get all messy. (IRL birds will go take baths and such when they need it, but is Angron going to bother? That’s up for debate.) The spikes are very nice, and the few holes in the wings add some personality. It’s also a good reminder that they’re flying because magic and because the Warp laughs in the face of science. Consider me pleasantly surprised:

7 / 10

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Contender: Magnus the Red of the Thousand Sons

Analysis: Feathers make sense for the guy pledged to a god who has birb motifs going on. I really appreciate the fact that these feathers are distinct, and have a bit of character. Also, honorable mention to hexygoblin‘s paint job here, which is stunning. He’s definitely got the best feathers on wings. I also feel like Tzeentch would appreciate a bit of style:

8 / 10

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Contender: Fulgrim of the Emperor’s Children

Analysis: It is truly a shame that we don’t have a more current model for Daemon Primarch Fulgrim. I am forced to go off of the vibe of the model and that first image of him screaming to try to make a wing assessment. This looks fairly standard for what one might think of demons or devils, and I gotta say, I’m not impressed? The second drawing suggests feathers, which would make sense for the Phoenix. Mostly, I would expect the primarch who pledged themself to the Lord of Excess to be more... excessive? I’ve seen some cool fanart for different wing interpretations for Fulgrim, but I’m trying to go off of ‘canon’ as much as I can here:

5 / 10

(I will have to reassess one day when he gets a new Daemon Primarch model. Maybe we don'thave one yet because it isn't perfect.)

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Contender: Mortarion of the Death Guard

Analysis: I’m definitely getting moth vibes from the way the wings are done on the model. This model was also designed a bit more naturally to look like he’s flying. Artist took the prompt of “decay, so probably flies” and gave him flies on the model, which means bonus wings. But this isn’t a “how many wings” contest, this is for “coolest wings.” (Mortarion would win for sheer quantity of wings because of all of the flies.) There’s no way he’s flying with those wings without Warp Shenanigans. I feel like these are the most unique out of all of them. The paint job and also how the wings looks like they’re trying to be tatters also suggests the futile fight against entropy, which is the Lord of Decay’s bag:

9 / 10

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Honorable mention (since he’s not a primarch) is Vashtorr, because I wanted a 10 / 10 on this list:

Coolest wings, for sure. Should they be able to fly? Absolutely not. But Chaos Gods don’t care what you think is logical.

10 / 10

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*drumroll* WINNER OF THE [PRIMARCH] TIER LIST IS...........

MORTARION!