#blah blah only podcast to ever blah

[operationslipperypuppet]

“we will not rain arrows down from our towers. we will always shine a light.” is a murph line I haven’t stopped thinking about for the entire 8 months since i first heard it. it’s the ultimate MeeMaw line. It’s the absolute embodiment of how the crick operates, has operated, will continue to operate. It shows, in 15 words, that Glen never understood his home, that he could never take power there because he did not understand at all what it meant to be a crick, to be the crick.

[internetscenarios]

Can we get some more of Nick, Yumi or Isaac x cc! Partner? Loved the last one and I keep re-reading lol

yes ong

yumi ꕥ

- ur biggest supporter

- always in ur chat 🫶

- sending donations being like “Shuatt uppp”

- stuff like that blah blah

- roblox with him

- new larry stream with the group on roblox was so funny

- they played this game where u had to survive till the end, so if it was u and him in the end u would both team up or he would sacrifice himself for u:3

- if hes in ur chat everyone will be like “YUMII”

- if he ever appears in the background he has to join in and have screentime it is essential

- yk how they had the marriage mod on the minecraft server

- u are both married (same with the other two 💓💓)

- i said this in the other one but csgo with him

- would teach you how to play itt

- if u were doing chill streams he would force himself to do chill streams if u were there

- defo has little things that remind u of him near his setup

isaac ꕥ

- married too him on minecraft <3

- feel like he would build a little chappel for u

- if hes streaming n ur sleeping he defo tries to keep it down

- randomly shows u clips from stuff he likes during streams

- talks very gentle to u if ur streaming

- in his videos all the time

- discord prank calls,, he would get someone other than him to prank call u and pretend its something to do with him

- if ur relationship was public obvi

- yk how he would post discord msgs with him and the tgc on twt,, he would do silly stuff like that w u

smthn like

“ru streaming?”

“55 BURGERS 55 FRIES 55 TACOS 55 PIES 55 COKES 100 TATER TOTS”

that video makes me giggle sm to this day i had to add it mb

- in his instagram posts theres always a silly picture, u would be that silly picture

- i saw on a yumi stream he peaked in the door asking if they wanted any food

- so he would always peak in (obviously out of frame) and ask if u wanted food or anything on ur stream

- ok last stream of his was almost a year ago so he would defo just pop up in ur streams all the time so he still has that twitch streamer era yknow?

nick ꕥ

sigh softwilly my love

- just chatting streams w him would be so silly

- bento appearances!!!

- no srsly u would be so focused on a game and bento would just take over the moment

- if hes at bento house on podcast and u walk past everyone on the podcast is like “haiii!!”

- or if u make too much noise in the background u get the occasional “be quiet” (they mean well i promise)

- u would defo be a star on the podcast if u went on it

idk why im mentioning this for nick i apologise

- always posting pictures of you and bento on his instagram story

- itll be u holding bento and also a pokemon card ur holding 😭

- ur either in his chat or hes in urs

- VLOGSS

- taking u and only u random places

- sure there will be videos with u and the group but there will be LOADS of u

im sorry thats its short ive been busy i will try my best to get some requests done but pls take this while i get stuff done😢

[bulbabutt]

ok. elephant in the room or shit i thought about a while ago but didnt post, my going theory on the rise cancellation which idk if its a theory more-so as reading the room and putting the pieces together.

it seems like playmates fault to me on account of the toys being shit and then cancelled outright. like waves of toys ready to go in 2019, none saw the light of day.

obvs a lot of them were shit, not the point. the point being theres up to 6 waves of toys on the table at 2019 toy fair, only 1 and 2 were made. compare to the last toyfair showing the mutant mayhem toys.

playmates made both of these era of toys. do you see how much more effort went into one than the other. you can say movies are more popular blah blah blah. but playmates has made ALL tmnt toys since they ever existed, and comparing the rise toys to even the previous shows toys it seems obvious where they put the money.

anyway my theory here is playmates got told (or given or offered or whatever) mutant mayhem. they immediately went. oh. yeah this will make us money. lets start prepping moulds for this now, lets get ready to sell a shit ton of different stuff. and they just left all those rise things on the cutting room floor. they didnt tell anyone on the team they were gonna do that. they didnt say "yeah it doesnt matter what you do cuz we have this NEW thing coming" they just abandoned it. they pretended theyd give it a chance to come back if their movie went well just to appease them and us, cuz they saw more money elsewhere.

the dumb shit about that is like imagine saying that about like. batman or the avengers or something. yeah we wont make this cartoon anymore cuz we have a theatrical movie coming in 3 years. like. you can have more than one iteration YOU DID IT WITH 12.

truly this is nothing against mutant mayhem by all accounts it looks amazing, my point here is that im sick of playmates fucking over each tv show with their stupid hunks of plastic. it has in fact happened each time, rise was just faster

87 was good, then there were the 90s movies that got popular enough that the show needed to be closer in style to.

03 was good, then it got dark, told to be more fun (cuz kids like ben 10 now) so they made fast forward, which was also good but in its own way, but then tmnt 2007 came out and playmates literally said "nope nope, we want to save on moulds so change your show to look like this movie" then 07 didnt go well cuz warner bros didnt fucking market it (what i heard from a podcast w nolan north was that they were super preoccupied marketing the shit out of 300 at the time. which. ok very weird choice for kids toys)

then we have 2012 after nick buys the franchise. and 12 has the weird tonal dissonance of dark stuff and kid stuff, with the most "designed to be toys" characters in it, clearly messing w things in the show itself while it was going.

then bayverse comes out along side it and once its over we get rise, where the designs clearly take inspiration from that movie (donnie and raph specifically)

then mutant mayhem is announced and rise just. fades out of existence. planned seasons cut and cancelled. planned toys disappear.

anyway. none of those shows are bad. none of the movies that come out along side them are bad. its just the dumbassery of like. not being allowed more than one iteration at a time, and its nOT on account of popularity or brand synchronizing like youd think, its literally to not have to make as many DIFFERENT SHAPED hunks of plastic! its fucking stupid. rise's downfall seems to be POOR FUCKING PLANNING on playmates part for THEIR shitty toys and then also being cheap/unwilling to have TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF TOYS AT ONCE (proof being the 03/07 thing)

anyway. thats my theory or whatever that fills me with rage. i hate playmates and i think its insane that the downfall of rise literally comes down to two stupid companies and their desire to sell garbage to children.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Jesus fucking Christ I fucking hate "The Doll Community" especially Monster High and g3 monster high, I really do...

I was just watching a video of this big name doll youtuber reporting on doll news, as they do, and they were covering the new Beetlejuice Skullector Two Pack, but what got me is they how said some pretty Anti leaning shit that was just unnecessary?

Like they literally said: "Obviously NO ONE ships Beetlejuice and Lydia so NO ONE would promote this as a romantic thing.. But if it's a wedding set that's set to release Valentines day then la de dah blah blah!"

And like? I honestly didn't know if this person was just saying this to just like, cover their own ass so THEY didn't get harassed by other tenderqueers because they were young, or if *they* genuinely believed what they were saying? Because from what I've watched from their channel, they're young and don't seem to know or care a lot about horror as genre in general? Like I don't mean to gate keep, but they're one one those obnoxious Monster High fans I made of fun of in my one post where it's like, "knows nothing about horror, just learned who Elvira is, only got into mh as a kid as the 'alternative' to their conservative ass parents who already believe pokemon is The Devil letting them experience Actual Horror and just never stopped consuming the dolls and Skullectors regardless if they're even familiar with the source material" kinda people? And yeah, that gets really annoying?

But I obviously didn't want this to be my cutting off point for watching their channel because ... Doll news?

So, I just wrote up the most, civil. neutral comment I could possibly articulate explaining how the Beetlejuice fandom's been practically built off of nothing but shipping for 36 years and how people can think whatever they want but Winona Ryder does ship it and it was quite frankly unprofessional of them to alienate Beetlebabes who might want to grab the two pack by implying there's a right way and a wrong way of interpreting the movie and the relationship between these iconic characters and they should respect the older fanbase and all the history that came before the musical?

And I was about to post it, but then I got nervous when I remembered, that I once purchased a doll from this person, which meant that they had my address at one point, which meant if they didn't like what I was saying, they could like, maybe dig it up and dox me? Or at least threaten to and I'd have cause to panic over it being like, legit or not? And I tried to brush it from my mind like nuh nuh they're cool they're cool... They're not on *that* level of Anti...

So then I just tried to check and refresh the comments to see any more overt ship bashing was taking place and of course, I just immediately find this:

So then I do this little blackout thingy for the usernames so that none of this can get back to youtube, and I go to screencap my comment so I can at least post it here in a vent, but I lost my comment trying to get the screen cap thingy to work and accidently clicking the youtube refresh button... 😔

... I just...I hate having such a lil' ghost face moment right now, but just like... I hate you legit fake horror fan Monster High collectors who can't appreciate horror having romantic subtext when that's the entire point yet you keep hoarding all the dolls anyway, I hate you little faggity boys with broccoli haircuts and split dyes who pressure girls into sending you nudes and the retired Mommy Vloggers who enable you, I find you extremely annoying XCanadensis, I hate you for your extremely annoying editing and intros zombiexcorn, I like you Lookin' Bratz but I hate your bratzline podcast cohost for fully admitting to doing a binge watch of all the Harry Potter movies in the franchise for "the first time ever" in fuckin' 2024 with absolutely no disclaimers or acknowledgment of the elephant in the room there and thinking that was a good idea to disclose something as quite frankly as disgusting as that and ruining what could've been a nice gothic doll chat for me and putting sour taste in my mouth about listening to the rest of your podcast...

And I especially hate that one dude with the ugly live action beauty and the beast dolls with the pink hair and the bowl cut and the glasses who for some reason keeps insisting every time she's brought up that Ghoulia Yelps can't be disabled/autistic because she's supposed to have some type of racial coding...

They're HEADCANONS!

They're PIECES OF PLASTIC!

GROW UP! 💀

(I love you weirdo OOAK Doll Artists, you're the only Real Ones left! ❤🫶)

[kemalamalam]

RULES: post 5 songs associated with your OCs and 4 outfits they'd wear

i saw @bhaalsdeepbat doing the tag game and i wanna make one too i hope you dont mind 👉👈

huehuehue this is Chevrotain, my durge bard

they got fucking wormed half way through the game and became hard to look at so i changed their hair then they look half-decent (not as good looking as the default but still)

im gonna be sorta infodumping about their lore bc im insane for them

1. Bloody! Bloody! - Junie & TheHutFriends

so in my canon Chevrotain isnt the dark urge like the origin character but another bhaalspawn, theyre still a bhaalspawn though so their gameplay is still a durge playthrough and this song is so accurate to durge's storyline?? like

Ain't it funny how I scare myself sometimes

..You take his hand quite literally..

..I probably shouldn't have said that..

They said, the lady in red / Bloody! Bloody!

Durge being literally shocked at kicking the squirrel involuntarily?? / the Gale incident / durge saying freakish shit most of the time / literally Orin

this song is my number one go to when i think of Chevrotain 😭

2. Abbey - Mitski

i mentioned that Chevrotain is a cannibal 🥺 its funny bc they dont have any sense of taste, they also have a huge identity crisis thanks to Bhaal whispering to them on their "role" and they whole "you were created bc blah blah blah"

I am hungry I have been hungry I was born hungry What do I need? I am something I have been something I was born something What could I be?

the theme i like to go with them is "starvation", like being starved of fatherly love from Bhaal, being starved of their own identity, being starved of their own mind, being starved of a home.. so this song fits into it SO PERFECTLY

3. Our Word - 36 Questions, Jessie Shelton

GAH this song is so cool from the coolest musical i know (i only know like 6 musicals 🙃), its literally a musical podcast?? so cool.

anyways Chevrotain is a bard right, they usually manipulate people with their words, a lot of deception and persuasion bonuses, so they are a very deceitful and as a result they are a very distrusting person.

the song is about a girl who was raised to be a compulsive liar - when she accidentally broke her dad's ship in a bottle - her mom told her to lie to get out of trouble and it worked, so she kept lying and lying and lying to get herself out of situations.

the song ends with a near death experience, but all she can think in her dying moments is how her parents are going to lie about her existence just to avoid the hassle of dealing with her death.

And it's our word Yes, our word It's our word Yes, our word Against theirs

the thing about Chevrotain is that they cannot trust easily - and what they fear the most is that theyd be tricked the same way theyve been tricking others - its a constant for them and this song embodies it perfectly (･ω･)b

4. Animal Cannibal - Possibly in Michigan, Karen Skladany

haha cannibal mention

iconic song tbh, this one isnt as intricately tied to Chevrotain's character quirks in my mind as the others and its more of their whole vibe and sthick

Who knows how some people turn to strange ones Is it up to me to make them into dead ones? (Here we go again) I bite at the hand that feeds me Slap at the face that eats me Some kind of animal cannibal (Animal? Cannibal)

the tricking people into thinking theyre an unassuming bard even though theyre an experienced necromancer

and that they rebel against Bhaal pretty aggressively (well, as aggressive as you can when youre going against your literal God father without being punished by death 💀) such as never calling Bhaal as "father" pre-amnesia

5. The Milk Carton - Madilyn Mei

have i ever mentioned here that Chevrotain fell into the Feywild when they were around 9?

they were following a grinning cat named 'Alice Alice van Malice' who later became their guardian because fucking Ethel spotted baby Tain, took them in bc she realize that a bhaalspawn would make a strong hagspawn, since Alice didnt want to be responsible for a horrific fate of a child he decided to keep watch of them 😭

so this song is more to baby Tain's perspective, that they are now living in a stinky swamp in the Feywild and sleeping on a cold slab of stone instead of the cozy foster home they were in before..

I think I really miss my bed Oh when, oh when will the nightmare end? I had it good, I had it good And yet I left and can't retrace my steps Think I forgot a couple things My brain is still at home (Stop telling me all about your problems)

..but hey, at least theyre not dead!

Outfits/Style

Chevrotain's style is called classy and youthful in the DnD universe and timeline, but in todays world we call it grandmacore ❤

ok well it has a prince-like flare to it, the embroidery would be all silver bc one thing about Chevrotain is that theyre good at commiting to the bit, also the clothes beinf airy, flowy and puffy is important bc they dont like their clothes being skin tight bc they get uncomfortable easy.

its all billowy blouse + black pants combo bc its a classic and i love it SO MUCH, i eat this combo all the time everytime

im too shy to tag anyone else for this akdnsjnd anyone who wants to join in from seeing this post.. please tag me in it bc im nosy and i want to see ur Tav/Durge :3

[harrytaylorluke]

The boss ~ Louis Tomlinson (Prt 1)

Summary - Louis manages his own record label, known as a professional boss. His newest assistant may be the thing to finally break that purely professional reputation.

- no real warning, that’s for part 2 😏🙌🏻

~~~~~~~~~~

“This is your desk okay?” The slightly passive aggressive older woman, who looks like she’s only ever worked here, says. She’s looking at me like I’m an infant and she’s teaching me to use a spoon.

“This is your phone, you can eat lunch here or go out, it’s a half an hour break at 12:30, okay?” She’s nods her head at me like I’m 3.

“Yes Sheila, thank you for the help. Can I ask where the toilets are?”

“Yes my love, down the hall take a right. This here is Mr Tomlinsons office” she points to the door set into the wall across from us. The office is entirely black with massive windows, posters of celebrities taken here and record awards across the walls. His door has a small window in it, but I can already image his office being the size of my flat.

“He shouldn’t be disturbed, try not to go in unless he asks for you or you have something you know is of importance to him. He’s not really the, make friends with all the workers kind of boss, y’know?” She’s shrugs with a smile.

Everyone knew who he was, even if you didn’t like music. Coming from the biggest boy band in the world, to a massive solo career, to eventually creating his own record label before the age of thirty was one way to get respect. I didn’t even meet him in the interview, just two men in suits described as his “left hand men”, whatever that means.

Sitting down at my rather large desk, I’d been briefed on what to do in my second interview and in an email after getting the job.

I was to:

Answer any phone calls for Mr Tomlinson, put him through after asking if he is decent to speak.

Bring coffee and any other refreshments/ documents Mr Tomlinson may need.

Arrange meeting based on Mr Tomlinsons availability.

Inform Mr Tomlinson of these set meeting.

Discuss and assist him with transport and travel for every meeting he had.

Remind of important task and deadlines.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH… the list goes on. Menial tasks that when you have enough money, you pay someone to do for you. But by 10am, just an hour after coming in, I learned how busy one man can actually be. His calendar was booked, I was already getting emails and phone calls on whether he was available for podcasts, radio shows, interviews and even being sent the most random MP3 files that had been begged for him to listen to.

Overwhelming slightly, writing them all down as I had been told he wasn’t in the office yet. My palms were actually slightly sweaty, I was here because his four previous assistants had expressed “unacceptable behaviour of the sexual nature” to him and been fired rather quickly after that. I didn’t want to make a bad impression, like I was some crazy fan girl who signed up to the job to sleep with him.

At 10:30, he walks in and I soon understood why the sexual misconduct had occurred.

He walked with this confidence I’d never seen before, I guess that happens when a whole building full of people respect and want to impress you more than anyone else. He had these black skinny jeans on and a black hoodie, rather casual, suddenly making me feel overdressed in my knee length black dress and black wedges. It seemed to be how everyone in the office dressed except him, Sheila in a midi skirt and long sleeved top.

He was taller than I’d read about (of course I had to google him beforehand), looking at least 5,9/10, and his hair looked messily thrown and styled around his head. The smartest thing about him was his briefcase. My desk was right next to his office, whereas everyone else seemed to be more spread out. It was mostly just the most important men and women from marketing and business, there couldn’t have been more than five of us in the small area.

He smiled at them individually, some saying a polite hello and earning one back. He finally gets to my desk, looking down at me as I can feel myself getting a rush of anxiety. Do I put my hand out to shake it? I know I should introduce myself, right?

“Hiya, you must be y/n, I’m Louis” too late. He sticks his hand out as I rise from my seat doing the same, wanting to smooth my dress down but stopping myself. The rest of the room has gone back to work already, something unfamiliar to me coming from a drama filled, love a bit of gossip office. His hand is warm as it connects with my freezing one, he keeps eye contact and I realise I haven’t said anything yet.

“Hi, yeah I’m Y/N, I’m really looking forward to working with you” very professional, well done. He blinks and this cheeky, almost smirkish, type of smile spreads across his face.

“Just let me know if you need anything, it can get a bit hectic up here” he says, releasing my hand that I didn’t know was still holding his. Disappearing into his office, I’m feeling almost starstruck, but not like I’ve met a celebrity. Like I’ve actually been struck by a bolt of lightning.

Keeping my composure, I shake my head and get back on with my work of arranging meetings, he leaves his office once for lunch and other then bringing people in to for his meetings and the occasional coffee run, that’s the most I see of him till the next day.

~~ 6 weeks later ~~

He was right, it’s more hectic than I thought. People are constantly in and out either coming to see him or the other people in the shared space. The building is massive, right in the centre of London with at least 500 people working all across it. My office was on the very top floor where I could see all across London, making me feel less stir crazy when the seventh man that day had ‘told me to put my boss on the phone’ after I’d told him not twice already.

I’d actually learned Louis was rather friendly, he could be stern about something but not humiliate you over mistakes. I’d started going with the flow, taking my lunch break outside to the park three streets down and understanding who was important and who wasn’t. I learned how he liked his coffee, that he had a balcony attached to his office where he was allowed to smoke, what brand of cigarettes he did smoke, where to buy them and how often.

I was working late tonight, it was at least 8pm but I couldn’t get this schedule sorted. He had things overlapping, I also had to call people over in America who were just getting to work, rather than calling in the morning like I had been doing and finding out it was 7pm over there and they were long gone.

Being pitch black outside, I turned my lamp on for the first time since I’d gotten here. It dimly lit up my desk, the only other light coming from the street light, and Louis office. I never really knew how late he stayed, I knew he worked hard but I was always leaving by five and he was always still here.

“Yes sir, I’m wondering if we could rearrange your meeting with Louis Tomlinson? It’s currently on the 13 on January, however, I’ve noticed an overlap with another silent. Is the 17th of February possible for you?” I spoke down the phone to one of the owners of Sony, trying to be as polite as possible as, even though it was only November, I knew it wasn’t ideal to mess things around.

“Thank you sir, that’s great I’ll put that in the schedule…yes thank you, goodbye” I put the phone done, pulling town my seamless t-shirt I’d put on under my oversized knitted jumper for the day. Running my hands through my long, dark and now slightly wavy hair, after a day of pulling whereing off the straightening this morning.

“Y/n” my heart fell straight to my chair, startled and with a slight jump I looked to my left to find a smartly dressed, slightly stressed, Louis. His voice was deep and gravely, like he’d been talking and smoking for hours. The thick Doncaster accent coming out more than ever.

“Sorry didn’t mean to startle you” my body is turned towards him as he pokes half his body out of his large office door.

“Can I borrow you for a minute?” He says with a small smile, his blue eyes being lit up by my own office lamp.

“Yes, yes of course” I suddenly feel like I should put my jumper back on, not feeling quite as hot and bothered, or as alone, as I did the hour before. Scattering up, he waits for me to get to his door, holding it open for me. I pull my black, above the knee skirt down a little as I hear my heels clicking on the cream floor.

His office wasn’t as big as I’d expected, except for the massive balcony, it was rather cozy. He had sheets spread out across his desk with a warm beige lamp sat on the corner. With two leather chairs in front, one more comfortable looking one in the corner and his own brown leather one behind his desk. The room had a few plants in that i’d been asked to water every few days that somehow managed to get enough sunlight with the floor to ceiling windows across his back wall.

He sits on his chair as I pull one of the spare ones to his side. “What can I help with” I ask, looking at the chaotic mess on his desk.

“Right so” he begins, leaning down a little and picking up a piece of paper. “These kids are coming, some band called ‘The Health Fiasco’ whatever that is suppose to represent” he continues shaking his hand in the air, I laugh slightly. “They’re trying to make me come all the way to bloody Australia, when I’ve got a meeting in New York the day before?” He looks at me with a ‘wtf’ kind of face.

“Right well, one, stupid name means stupid band” I say, earning a laugh and a shake of his head. “Let me look at your schedule again” I say reaching over him.

I soon realize just how close our chairs were, our knees were slightly touching and I could feel how close he was to me when I reached over. Feeling slightly embarrassed and hoping to God he didn’t think I was pulling a move, I sat back in my seat. Staring over the paper in my hand when I feel him tap the top of my knee over and over again with the palm of his hand as he says “hold on you may need this” whilst handing me another piece of paper with his 2024 schedule on it.

He leans over my shoulder slightly and I can smell his aftershave mixed with the cigarettes and coffee I’d got him a few hours ago. His hand gently rubs against mine as he hands me the paper.

“So” he clears his throat slightly, “the flight to New York is at 8am and I’ve also got meeting all through Friday” his long, tattooed fingers run down the paper in front of me. Stop thinking about his fingers god y/n, he’s your boss for god sake this man has control of my livelihood.

“Yeah well we could move Sony around but I did just rearrange with him once” I say looking up, something I wish I hadn’t done.

His face, more specifically his lips, were impossibly close to me. He had leant in to see the paper next to me and now I could basically feel his breath on my face.

“Um, yeah, yes” he stuttered out “let’s not rearrange that again” he seemed..nervous? He hadn’t moved away yet and neither had I. Looking into his impossibly blue eyes, I could feel my heart getting a little faster. I was definitely reading this wrong, I was praying this wasn’t putting thoughts in his head of me being like his last assistant. The money was too good to loose this job.

“Anyway” I say, moving away quickly as he did the same with a deep breath. “Maybe we can move some of those meeting to the next day so you’re not as jet lagged”

We carried on like the world hadn’t stopped for those few seconds, talking business like I wasn’t thinking about being over his desk with him right behind me. He was hot, but I’d never let myself think like this, I knew the rules and the consequences.

9pm roles around, after me calling and moving people around with him in his office. “We should probably leave it at that, maybe look at these other issues with fresh eyes” ,with my hands in my hair and Louis with his head practically on the desk with how frustrated we both were. It was neither of our mistakes, he just had to much going on to fit it all in.

“Yeah alright” he says puffing out air between his lips and pushing the papers into a pile in the corner. I stand up, getting my stuff together on my desk outside. Putting my jumper back on, my long wool coat and turning my lamp off, I’m about ready to go, and it looks like Louis is to.

“Got anything going on tonight?” I thought he wasn’t friends with his coworkers? This was new territory.

“Just gonna make some dinner and fall asleep probably, what about you” I say, pushing the lift button.

“Smoke, eat, sleep” he shrugs. Riding down in the elevator, I lie against the wall across from him. It’s not awkward, just a little tense. I feel like we’re both thinking about the same thing, each other.

He looks so good today too, he’d had a big meeting and dressed up for it. This black tight fitting shirt with dress pants and a loose fitting jacket. His hair was still the same, just a little less messy. The harsh elevator light flashed as I stood thinking about the man across from me, something I planned on doing most of the night.

The elevator opens, we walk out together, our cars two spaces apart from each other. His being an Aston Martin and mine a black ford.

As we walk, I can feel us getting closer together, most likely because we’re walking to the same place, but I can feel the tension getting weird again.

“Thanks for staying late, and for all that help” he says stopping in front of my car and facing me, his shoulder could be rubbing against mine if he got an inch closer, dangling his keys in his hand.

“It’s not problem, I actually really enjoy it” why am I chatting on, get in the car and go home already.

We’re just looking at each other, the two street lights in the car park make it dimly lit. It’s like we’ve been on a first date and we’re trying to figure out if we’re having a good night kiss or not.

My skin feels like it’s burning the way he looks at me, like if he touched me I’d explode. “That’s good to hear, you’re doing a great job, I’d struggle to live without you now I think” we both share a chuckle as we inch towards our cars, still as close as ever.

Why can’t we stop fucking looking at each other, what is wrong with me, get in the fucking car already for christ sake.

But then he touches my arm, and I’m done for. He doesn’t just touch it, he grazes it with his hand, I almost think it’s a kind of ‘proud of you’ rub of the arm, that’s sweet and innocent, one you’d give a friend when they get a new job or finish something they started months ago. But it’s not, it’s gentle and goes down to my hand where our fingertips touch slightly. I can feel him staring at my face, maybe to gain a reaction, but all I can look at is that hand of his touching my covered arm. I play with his fingers slightly with mine, somehow getting a some sort of confidence.

I think about how I got here, this morning I was excepting a normal day, maybe be home a little late, watch some crap movie, sleep and do it all over again. Now he was the one looking at our hands, mine moving slowly and gently between his, before he starts doing it back. We’re like two 16 year olds who’ve never been this close to someone before.

I want to say something, but I think it’ll spoil it.

We’re both breathing silently, cars and people are going past in the street but I’m positive no one can see us, even if we weren’t doing more than 16 year olds do.

Our fingers interlock as he moves forward slightly. It’s nothing and I can barely breath. His hair is close to touching the top of mine as we both stare down at this contact that, to put it frankly, is getting me hornier than I’ve been in months.

Pulling my hand from his, I push it up his sleeve, moving myself close to get higher up. The closer I get to him, the closer his hand gets to my hip. It’s inches away and all I want is for him to rest it there. He goes under my coat with his hand, grabbing my side less delicately than he did my hand. My cold hand is rubbing circles under his sleeve and I knew if I lifted my head, my night would be set.

It’s been less than two minutes of this back and forth in silence, it’s intimate yet we’re stood in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world. My head is lifting slightly, his head being above mine, almost resting his cheek on the side of my head at this point. I can feel in his body he knows this isn’t right, that it’s unfair to fire so many women for one reason and then disregard another for the same issue.

I just don’t think either of us could control ourselves, I finally lifted my head fully, looking into his eyes. His hand gripped me harder, our lips millimeters apart, moving as slow as possible, they meet slightly. Moving our heads up and down slightly, lips touching gently, like neither of us wants to be the one who truly made the mistake of interlocking our lips.

We give up, connecting them fully, my hand shooting up to his hair, tangling my finger in the sides. He takes both his arms around my waist, lifting me up to my tip toes where I wrap my other arm around his neck. His lips are warm, soft and delicious. You can taste the coffee I’d slipped on his desk just hours before mixed with the cigarettes he’d smoked while we were working. It was slow, but so intense, it’s like it had awakened these feelings I didn’t know I felt.

His hand finds it’s way to just below my throat, his fingers spread over my collar bones as his thumb gently tips my chin up, opening up my mouth. His other hand is firmly around my waist, pressing me against him. Slipping his tongue past my lips, he deepens the kiss. The world feels like it’s spinning, like we should be doing this every second of everyday.

His hand replaces itself onto my waist, turning me around as he backs me up into the side of my car. It’s hot, it’s intense and it’s getting faster.

“Fuck” I hear him say under his breath, pulling away slightly and looking down. I press my hips up towards him as his hands support the bottom of my back. His voice is raspy and I can feel something happening in his pants.

I rub my waist up against the tent I can feel forming in his pants, going in circular motions as he does the same. One hand around my waist the other on the back of my neck, I let out a slight whimper than causes him to let out a deep breath he’d been holding in. My back pressed against the car and waist pressed up against him, I can feel wetness pooling in between my legs.

My mind goes into overdrive, what if this is what he does? He’s get with these girls and fires them? Am I gonna be next? The mood is quickly ruined for me, and I think he can tell.

My hips are going slower, I’m thinking way to hard.

I pull back from the kiss.

“This is stupid sorry, I’m not the kind to do this with a boss” I lie, I would, if I knew I wouldn’t be fired the next day.

“What?” He looks so hurt, I feel bad, but I’m old enough to know this is a stupid thing to do, especially in a parking lot with other peoples cars in, people that probably work in the same building as us. He pulls his hands away from my hips slowly, likes he so desperate not to.

“I gotta go, can we just forget this” I say, turning around and opening my car door with a wave of my hand. I momentarily think ‘god what the fuck is wrong with me, turning down a rich, hot, famous dude who can kiss like a god?’

“Y/n, you’re not going to be fired you know? This isn’t what’s going on?” He’s stressed, almost rambling, like he’s desperate for me to stay. But I feel like he’s said that before, I need to leave, I need sleep and I need to move past it.

Driving away from him as he watches my car drive out the parking lot, why do I want to punch myself?

[clovesnz]

Little ramble navel-gazing about the kink heh ~

cw for describing past feelings of shame and the internet being a shithole

Do y’all ever wonder like, how many people are out there who have a snz kink/fet but have never found the online communities? Like statistically how many people do we think are adults and have it but just have never looked for anything about it online? I mean if u are somewhere without internet access or somewhere where those communities are inaccessible that would be an obvious reason not to, but I’m super curious if there are people who could but have just suppressed it or never thought to look.

Cause like, I’ve noticed I was kind of a late bloomer in terms of when I found some of these spaces. I was too scared to type the words “sneeze fetish” into google until I was 17 or 18. Before then my only exposure to people who liked snz was the comments on snz content creators’ YouTube videos, which…didn’t give me the best overall impression about others with the kink. I think it added a lot to my shame, honestly, having that be my only conception of people “like me.” Like it was pretty much just that, and that awful p/ewdiepie video (blah 😵‍💫). Those were my only two frames of reference for how others responded to this interest. Not fun.

It was actually that T/ry G/uys podcast episode I’ve mentioned before that made me finally do it. They had a viewer write in talking about their sneezing kink in a very “so here’s something funny” sort of way, and they were all super cool and normal and sweet about it. And so only then did I search something like “I’m ashamed of my sneezing fetish” into an incognito tab, and that ended up leading me to the forum, and then a year or so later the forum led me to snzblr. But I sometimes wonder, like, if I hadn’t seen that podcast episode, how much longer would it have taken me? Would I still be mostly in the dark about it?

Anyhow, even though I sometimes go through slumps of not posting or interacting much, I’m still incredibly grateful to have found this place and all its debauchery, it’s been so integral in my learning self acceptance and understanding my sexuality and honestly when I was younger I don’t think I ever dreamed to find this level of community around something that I, at the time, felt so alone in.

[throne-for-queens]

I'm wondering if anyone else has noticed the way MF constantly victimizes herself and if long time fans of hers know if this is out of the norm for her? I've known of her but was never a fan. I'm not really aware of how she presents herself normally. What I have noticed, is that she really leans into being a victim. Even if it is back handed comments such as the one on her voice acting vampire post where she says it's cathartic for all her haters to kill her in the video game. Also, not going to repeat all the slander that's coming from her book.

My theory? She saw how hated he is. Just like she saw how he loves pretty feet and got a pedicure before meeting him with the intention of him noticing (her self proclaimed story anyway who knows if it is true she seems like a pathological liar sometimes) I think she saw how targeted he is by the media. Saw how codependent he is. I mean... She is an expert in personalities and birth charts. She knows everything about him, right? It seems to me like she is trying to relate to him on that level. Not for herself. But for him. So that he will feel a kinship with her. Both "misunderstood, outcasts, bullied by the media, 'no one understands who we truly are baby, all you have is ME, I am the ONLY one who sees your soul baby, I am the ONLY one who will ever truly love you'" blah blah. Maybe I am insensitive 😕 but this is something I've been thinking more and more lately and I need to know if anyone has had this feeling.

Before anyone comes for me or the blog owner:

Celebrities sign up for scrutiny, over analysis, public scrutiny, speculation from the masses, and ridiculous amounts of payout for the contracts they sign for that peak behind the curtain. And... are we really-in 2023- pretending that social media and paparazzi aren't the new reality TV shows of the day?

I can see that, their meeting story always seemed pretty odd and all over the place, because in the podcast with Randall and Lala they made it seem like they met on set. Megan claims to have instantly known that he was her twin flame and colson says that he waited everyday (more like 24 hours) until she noticed him.

But then they had the GQ couples interview and suddenly they met at a party where neither felt this instant connection and "I am weed" became their signature. The story isn't straight because before she says she instantly knew of their connection, but the GQ party proves otherwise.

Megan also pushes herself as a healer in his life, and she said this in the interview with Nylon. "It's more that he looks to me to avoid his own self destructive tendencies. And that's where I'm useful because on his own and left to his own devices I don't know how much interest he has in caring for himself."

Colson also refers to Megan as the Sun to him, and I don't think I need to explain what happens if the sun goes away. There is so much emotional dependency placed on Megan that I personally feel like it's unhealthy. It sounds like he has completely rid himself of the possibility of doing life without her, and she not only accepts that but she encourages such a toxic dynamic.

The song sid & Nancy will always have me as its number 1 hater, because she said that they should go out murder/sui if they ever broke up. Considering that he nearly deleted himself on the phone after that loss of his father, I think it was a pretty tone deaf thing to say. And even though I hope I'm wrong, if the redditor is right about their analysis of her book, I have a pretty strong feeling that the lover who asked her if she wanted him deleted is him. And again, I hope I'm wrong because that would mean that my previous statements about her being Jada is 100% true because that woman is very narcissistic and doesn't care about outing someone who trusted her.

[sexybeee]

Only Murders in the Building is the best show ever!!!! I finished season 2 like four days ago (i watched it w/ my sister) and i rebinged season 1 in these past 2 days. There are just so many things I love about that show. Here comes the rant.

Like, in season 1, I love how we really get to know the characters. We not only learn who they are and basic info, we go sort of deep into their backstory while being able to remain perfectly in the present. With Oliver, we learned about his many, many, failed performances, his bad relationship with his son, his constant need for money, his relationship with Bunny, and the love he holds for Winnie. We learn about his failures and his mistakes and how he tries to make up for them. I also love how we see his past as a director really be incorporated in the podcast.

With Mabel, we learn about Zoe, Oscar, and Tim. Lemme tell you, I so need a spinoff mockumentary about those four because they were really well written imo. We get to see her mom, we dive into her relationship with Oscar, and how she was connected to Tim Kono. We see her past rise up as she solves the case.

With Charles, it's mostly Jan. Yet, I love how there's the scene where his neighbor is like "I can smell your omelets; they remind me of Lucy". And when Charles fesses up to Jan about his past dating life, it's so real. And the cartoon images that he sees are such a great way to incorporate his past without trying to force it.

Most importantly, I love how the characters' pasts aren't revealed in one overly dramatic scene. Yes, we may see a lot of someone's past in an episode, but later on more is revealed and explained really well. The writers aren't trying to make the characters be like "im sorry for lashing out at you yesterday, it's just that my mom died 20 years ago and blah blah blah". Like Katara in all of ATLA. Instead, we see the past spread out in a really well balanced way. Mabel's connections with Tim and Zoe are really naturally brought out. And so is Oliver's with Will and the faint glimpses of Charles' with Lucy. (Also, I really love how he makes the omelets for Lucy everyday) Everything is so naturally brought it out in OMITB, it's truly one of the best shows ever written/directed. Huge props to Steve Martin and John Hoffman.

Now, onto season 2. (Warning: SPOILERS)

The finale was so epic. I totally believed Alice mvrd3r3d Bunny and that she stabbed Charles. I was literally in tears for the whole scene. It was a really well written plot, because I didn't expect anything that happened. And, the backstories were expanded even more.

Also, season 2 seemed to be more centered on Mabel, but I love how it still majorly included Oliver and Charles. We dive deep into why Mabel forgets every dramatic thing that happens in her life, and why she flips over the puzzle. I really love her relationship with Alice. It's a strangers to friends to lovers relationship with so many ups and downs. I love how they managed to work together in the end, though. And I love how really go deeper into Will and Oliver's relationship. The whole DNA tests and the "tells" is so well written. I really love Oliver's involvement with the Son of Sam game. Finally, there's Charles and Lucy. I love how Lucy perfectly tied into the whole story. Her being there wasn't really forced or anything. I also love her relationship with Charles. It's really really reminding me of my relationship with my grandpa- especially because they both look alike.

I just really really love OMITB and I'm super excited for season 3 to come out! I even have some predictions. Like, Charles is gonna be blamed for Ben's sudden death like Mabel was framed for Bunny's demise. It makes sense because Charles was the last person to see Ben alive just like Mabel w/ Bunny. IDK, it's just a feeling. I'm hoping we get to see what Charles was upset about, too. He was mad, and if he and Ben were fighting a lot, then he could get accused like Oscar was. I'm also hoping Charles gets another almost fatal injury, like in previous seasons, because (and ik it sounds weird), Steve Martin always makes it really suspenseful and hilarious.

IN SUMMARY, GO WATCH OMITB IF YOU HAVEN'T YET

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

MAG9 - A Father's Love, more quotes and reviews

*rolls in a yellow office chair* heeeeellllllooooooo and welcome back to another episode of my current hyperfixation

let's play a game, everytime Julia says some variation of "my father was a serial killer when I was little" everybody takes a shot

this episode feels to me, after cursed books and trash bags full of teeth, like this quotes from John Mulaney

(Transcript: John Mulaney saying "You know those days where you're like, this may as well happen?")

Like, you come here to have a good time, pulse play, and the very first thing Julia says is MY FATHER WAS A MURDERER. Damn, it escalates really quickly xD

Don't get me wrong, this story it's tragic and all that, it's just my inability to take anything seriously talking. It didn't scare me tho, but I was disturbed by its "normality" ngl

Quote Time:

Nothing to quote from Julia's statement, sorry for that, but well, I must admit that her story is not sth philosophical or funny, so I don't Know what did I expect.

"(...)a small cult that grew around the defrocked Pentecostal minister Maxwell Rayner in London during the late eighties and early nineties. I knew I recognised the name from Statement 1106922 though, currently, it just looks like a coincidence. - Jon Sims, April 10th 2016

lmao Jon, a coindence, he says. You know nothing, Jon Snow blah blah blah

"Robert Montauk died in Wakefield Prison on November 1st 2002. He was stabbed forty-seven times and bled out before anyone found him. After reading this statement, three points of interest occur: no culprit or weapon was ever found connected to the killing; he was apparently alone in his cell at the time, which was supposed to be locked; and at the time of his death the light bulb in his cell was found to have blown out, leaving him in darkness." - Also Jon Jarchivist Sims

"Recording ends." - Said by Jon, calmly, like he didn't unlocked a new level of my insomnia.

Small review:

*insert cheerful voice from teleshopping comercials* do you want second hand trauma? are you in the need of unblocking a new phobia? you are in the correct place!

Every single time there's a Rayner in the podcast is like, uh, another weirdo, and it's not like Jon is the most normal person ever, it's just so freaking funny, like that snail from Adventure Time, you Know?

Tragedy, tragedy, and more tragedy with a side of worldbuilding that tastes like a filler episode. If it looks like a filler, tastes like a filler and sounds like a filler, is it a filler? (no)

The post-statement part it's not funny, it's straight up academic follow up of a succession of facts and then it hits you with that last paragraph like a hammer.

General overview:

Vibe: it starts straight to the point, no detours, and keeps escalating constantly while you mutter wtfwtfwtfwtf and then it just kills you

Horror: it's not spooky, it's worrying, disturbing

Audio: good audio

Humour: the only funny thing here is how I thought I was going to sleep that night (I didn't)

Score: 10/10

[zumpietoo]

Ummm...

So Enty was there and saw them, personally, has actual, incontrovertible proof of this? Funny how that's really, really unlikely.

And I totally DON'T think this is Silly, herself, ever desperate to get my attention....however, yeah, if Enty really does have full proof, etc....why are you also acting like it's confidential? Wouldn't his podcast BE "stating it publicly"?

And, given how you missed me/live to troll me, how was this not immediately in my askbox? And, again, so Enty said somebody fully unverified, etc said this and that's your "proof"? FAIL....

And, OFC, you believe Enty? Guess you also believe about how PP was nearly fired, despised by everybody, had meltdowns dairly, etc (well, that I can believe) and was a yachter?

Ummm....

He dumped her

He's the one in the long term relationship

She's the one with the guy who cosplays him (while she cosplays his new GF, no less), is a cheap copy of him, got with the guy because he cosplays/bagged on Cole.

Cole isn't the "obsessed" one. She is....and, again, you are....

Umm....

A) if Enty "confirmed it on his podcast", wouldn't that be going public?

B) You're literally admitting Enty's shit is false and nobody believes it, huh?

C) That's not "karma", but plus? I thought the movie was gonna be such a flop, blah, blah, blah??? And not like Cole needs the $$$

D) Funny how "Pinot" (you) resurfaced with just this, because you're so pissed off about it all, huh?

Umm.....again, no, it's that everybody knows Enty's a fucking liar/all the crap there is fabricated, so only you losers care....and are the ones who made it up and sent it in to begin with....

LMAO!!! Cole doesn't need PP's name, quite the opposite. The only reason she's ever gotten anything to begin with is because she used suck HIS dick!

A) "his college ex" who is batshit crazy, STILL not over being dumped almost a decade ago and used to stalk/cosplay PP?

B) Umm....only place the "ol yeller" shit ever pops up is, again, on Enty. Somehow no actual peeps have ever had proof of this AND it's this literal, "oh yeah, well, Cole YELLLED"!!! Which is pathetic

C) Actually, just the opposite, nearly all his costars, fans, service people, etc who meet him remark on how amazingly gracious and kind he is. The one who gets dragged for being a bitch is PP.

D) PP's a fucking mess who's still pissed off about getting dumped (to say nothing of all the other shit).

E) He liked a picture of a professional model.....however, funny how you have no concern whatsoever about KokeJ legit fucking a fifteen year old.

F) Cole's a fab actor and totally hot....and, again, how has he been "hurt in the industry", exactly? He's the one with the worldwide release about to drop...

G) Dude....3 years ago you had a nervous breakdown cuz he dumped PP. And before that, you were endlessly in my PMs, trying to convince me Cole was Caligula----using Breetch's loony for "proof".

Again, all goes back to you're pissed that he finally dumped you PP for good. And is happy with somebody else

Ummm....what/how exactly is Cole "bitter". As for being a "fucking piece of shit".....even if you were 100000% correct (you aren't even .00000000000001%), at most? He'd be a playah.....which, so? Your kween fucks anything with a pulse and is also raging fame/attention whore/basket case, while being abysmal at it, to boot.

Oh also? Upthread was bullshit about Cole not getting proper help. Dude, Cole goes to therapy (and talks about it), PP is the one who stopped, needs meds and is in a cult...

Umm....again, then you have to believe the bad shit Enty posted about PP....And oohh.....yes a rando attention whore "confirms" it. And then, again, nobody believes it, because there's never, ever any proof.

You guys are beyond pathetic.

And Cole's "ended his career"? Why does he have two movies coming out/was at couture shows during the strike?

Well, it IS disgusting how obsessed you guys are.....and how lame all your fabrications always are, too.....they're always, I notice, so middle schoolish....and like the plot of very bad fanfics....

Yeah, it's as if it's all bullshit, huh? Until we have legit, incontrovertible proof? Noooppppeee....also, again, dude? It's lame. All the shit you claim to have? Is always so dumb....

How is it you guys think Enty only speaks to you? Actually, if that were true? She'd have legal "cease and desist" rights, which is how we know you made it up. Again, prove it. And no, a rando claiming it in a tiktok doesn't rate.

His "entry" by negging her, cosplaying her ex, being as obsessed with her ex, etc?

And yeah, I was definitely upset when he made fun of genocide on his tiktok AND I'm sure the service people he was, legit, painfully rude to were also upset.....so if you mean he "upset people" because he's a total asshole, yes, that's quite true.

PP's a needy, selfish, botoxed, barely literate dumbass.....Cole now dates a bi-lingual model who supports and understands him....

Again, we all saw it. And have seen it. If Cole wanted PP back, she'd be there as he snapped his fingers....HE isn't the one dating a Walmart version....and cosplaying, stalking, etc....

[hoghtastic]

Johanne now has a bit over 6,000 followers, and most of them she gained from being Alex’s girlfriend. Prior she only had 2.5k followers which is really bad considering she is in the entertainment industry and has had a starring leading role in a movie, and has been in musicals and other stuff. She is not pretty and actually looks quite old for her age as others have mentioned and she’ll only get worse over time, so no one would ever follow her for her looks. Others like MK already had a ton more followers before even being linked to Alex because they actually had something going on for them and people found them attractive. At her peak MK had like 60,000 followers Johanne could get married to Alex and she’d never get anywhere close to the same number lol .Her acting as others have mentioned is also bland and boring, I tried to watch that Venuseffekten movie and she is so blah in it that I immediately stopped watching. Her content is also shit and very uncreative, I scrolled through her Instagram and there is not one post that I found interesting. No one gives a shit about her podcast or her boring singing, she uploaded it on YouTube and it barely got any views and no comments. Alex can push her as much as he can and she’ll steadily gain more followers as a result but she’ll never be as famous as she’d like to be because she herself doesn’t have anything going on for her, no interesting content and nothing that will appeal to people. I’m also glad that things aren’t quite working out for her because her personality is awful as she has she shown that she’ll bully others, and use people for connections. I also found it funny that she had to try SO hard to get Alex to fall for her. The other women that Alex liked, he chased them while he was being ignored. With Joanne she had to love bomb him and put in SO much effort and fake her personality because I doubt Alex would even care about her otherwise.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, anon! 😊

[narrie]

omg i don’t know if this was ever spoken about on here but some people figured out how the whole story about harry/emrata/olivia thing unfolded and who leaked it but it depends on what you believe about them.

her friend who posted the rat story told some guy called ryan bailey who has his own podcast. people were able to figure it out because he said he was hanging out with someone (that friend and ryan follow each other) and they told him that + he said they told him things he couldn’t say too.

the story goes that harry and olivia were technically on a break or broken up but still talking and stuff and she didn’t mind if he was hooking up with other people because he’s a man blah blah but the door wasn’t fully shut.

he said that she only cared about emrata because they were friends and she had confided in her about harry and emrata did the whole “you’re better than him, fuck him!” routine.

he said they (h and o) literally talked the day it happened and after it happened because the video didn’t come out until later and he (harry) didn’t mention it at all.

funniest part: emrata reached out to her and was like she thought she was more sexually open and wouldn’t mind her doing that but sorry if you’re hurt and olivia was like wtf???? 😭😭

i believe it<3 no bc that's genuinely what i thought might've happened, like i do think holivia were still talking or keeping a door open and it'd be SOOOO harry to still go on and do all that with someone she knows/calls a friend (although ppl did point out that olivia followed emrata after she came to lot so how close were they really etc etc) and not even tell her lmao that does sound like emrata too, like she looooves to play up the girl's girl act 🤪 i think all parties were in the wrong tbh, emrata for playing both sides, harry for being a man, and olivia for being upset when like...girl what were u expecting 😭 anyway still astonished she didn't snap

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

While I’m Transformers-posting, honestly the concept of Strongarm as a character is kind of fascinating to me, because she’s like. One of those characters where I can see all the processes behind her creation and the fan reactions and why people were the way they around her.

Again, I came in late, so I can only talk about this as someone who was an outsider to the whole phenomenon, but it was fascinating seeing all those 2014-2015 era posts where people seemed like, really excited about her as a character. And a lot of it was very much in a very ‘checklist representation’ style tone. You know, you had a girlbot who wasn’t pink and who wasn’t slender and who was in a line of work women didn’t typically do (policing, rip). And I feel like that style of really liberal fandom feminism writing - going through a checklist of ‘not-often-done’ traits - was at least somewhat influential on the conceptualisation of her as a character, even if it obviously wasn’t the only influence it had on her character, along with being a part of her initial appeal*.

It also made subsequent backlashes in her writing interesting. Because I did see the pushback her episode with Windblade got. And I think at least a part of that pushback was like, okay, a part of it was because the writing of the series was far from The Best Ever lmao. And I know that a part of it was at least due to fandom shipping war bullshit. But I feel like, a little part of it maaaaay also be because at the time, a lot of normie liberal fandom feminist spaces were very insistent on the idea that women being represented as rivals was Bad and girls being friends was Good. So a lot of people tended to read media through that lens.

And while it is true that particular framings of such relationships and the way the trope get often presented in certain media does have roots in misogynistic ideas (women are all catty and bitchy and irrational about their dislike for each other, blah blah blah). I also recall listening to a podcast where the writer of the episode did actually talk about how she wrote it based on her own feelings and experience. And the way she and all the other normie liberal fandom feminist hosts were talking about it on the podcast, she seemed really proud of herself for writing that episode too! 

And it’s this thing where I realise it’s an episode written by a woman, in a very typically male-dominated industry and a historically male-dominated franchise. And it was like. It got a certain amount of backlash from normie fandom feminist types too, due to it falling into kind of unfortunate implications.

It’s these kinds of moments, which like, I find kind of fascinating! As someone who could be considered a ‘fandom feminist’ by some metrics, and as someone who thinks ‘more women creating’ should be the prioritised goal wrt feminism and art.I don’t necessarily think I have a conclusion for this that isn’t something I kind of already said. But like, yeah! It’s one of those things where I feel like so much about it is more indicative of the type of system the show was conceptualised in. Wherein it is a franchise where historically speaking most of the creators were men, some of whom were adamant on there being no girlbots, and how all that baggage does make it a lot harder for women to write their own stories. As well as like, what sort of stories and what sort of girls get approved and are acceptable for mainstream media appealing to this particular demographic.

It’s also interesting looking at it in hindsight. Because she was very much a Smurfette, even if she didn’t fall into the conventional tropes and image of a Smurfette. And I know those Rescue Bots cartoons also had a Smurfette principle thing going on too. So it’s like. Interesting seeing it now, when the role of The Girl has become kind of... not a thing anymore in quite a lot of Transformers media.

*It’s not completely absent now, but I feel like this style of like, repbaiting(?) has less power over people these days.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 68 Transcript: Ouch. Youch. Owie.

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello! My name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen the show several times...

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today’s episode, we are gonna be watching and discussing Season 4, Episode 8: "Wishful Thinking," written by Ben Edlund, directed by Robert Singer. Which, you know, this episode ends with a zoom-in- with the zoom-in on Sam's face, and I was like, "Robert. I know you. When I see you."

C: There it is!

G: You know that line from The Song of Achilles that's like, "I will know you from the steps of your-" blah blah blah?

C: Yeah. Yes.

G: [laughs] That's how I feel about Robert Singer and his zooms. I will know you by the zooms of your episodes.

C: So I think that Ben Edlund is a terrible person. [both laugh]

G: This truly was an episode. I would say that. I'm willing to say that.

C: This was very high and lows of high school football. Like, I feel like I laughed more at this episode than I have for a lot of Supernatural episodes, but, like, half of those laughs were “what the fuck?” laughs. And the rest, I was just so upset.

G: Yeah. I think the good bits are pretty fucking good, actually. Like, I like the bear. [C laughs] I thought the bear was fucking funny as all hell.

C: [laughing] I thought that the way that Dean delivered, "We are miserable." in the car was maybe the best thing that's ever happened in this show.

G: And you know what? I like that when Dean was getting beat up by that kid, he still was like, "I'm gonna help him out." I thought that was nice. Like, you know, it's an entire shebang.

C: Yeah, even though I think his help was completely unnecessary, given that that kid already turned over all those kids in the truck. Like, his beating up Dean does not add any more to his street cred. Like, he's already maxed out.

G: For fucking real. But yeah, this episode is funny when it's funny and absolutely fucking atrocious when it's not. [C sighs] And it's like, well. Like, what is going on inside your head, Ben Edlund? [C laughs] I mean, it's fine. It's fine to talk about, you know, things that are like, "Oh, there's a creep. There's a weirdo. He doesn't want to fit in."

C: [laughs] He doesn't belong here.

G: Yeah. God, I've been listening to that song so much because I have a friend who plays it all the time when we call. Like, "Creeps"-

C: Why? [G laughs]

G: Yeah, and sings it too, and I don't why. But I find it hilarious. So yeah. And it was my first time hearing it, listening to it, two days ago. So that's fun. Literally, I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo, I don't belong here.

C: What the hell am I doing here?

G: Yeah. It doesn't sound anywhere close to what I thought it would sound like.

C: What did you think it would sound like?

G: I thought it was sound more rockish. Like, louder. Like, [singing, strong] "I'm a creep..." But it literally is just a guy with a guitar going, "I'm a creeep..." [C laughs] And I respect that.

-

G: First of all, what did you know about this episode before going in? My guess is nothing.

C: Absolutely nothing.

G: You know what? Me too. Like, I don't remember this episode at all. So yeah.

C: Good. It's not an episode to remember.

G: Well, actually I do remember the bear. I do remember the bear. I do remember the bear.

C: Good.

G: But I remember it completely separately from this episode. It was like, "It's a different episode."

C: Yeah, okay. But I was- I mean, the title's a dead giveaway. Like, I saw the title, I was like, "Okay, I know what this episode is gonna be about." And I was right. So yay.

G: Yeah, okay, let's start the episode. Do you have anything to say about the "Road So Far"?

C: Cas is in it. Uriel's in it. It's just like, "Dean remembers what happened in Hell, but he's not telling anyone."

G: "Ooh."

C: That's like, the whole "Road So Far." G: Yeah, exactly. Well, then, let's start the episode. It starts in a shower. Because of course it does. And it's a woman showing. [both] Because of course it is. Yeah. You know what? This scene does not look like a Supernatural episode. Like, this scene specifically. It looks so weird. Like, while watching it, I was like, "What an odd thing to do." Like, "What an odd look to this scene." But yeah, woman showering, she gets out of the shower, and like, we see, like, a boy like, going in and out of like, visibility.

C: And he's naked.

G: Yeah, he's naked. We see his footsteps, we see like, a hand on the glass of the shower. And then, like, Candace, who is the woman, starts feeling it, and she's like," Is anybody there?" But, of course, no one responds. She throws her towel, and it lands on a human form that is invisible behind her, which is the creepiest fucking thing.

C: It really is.

G: And then, like, the guy who, you know, is invisible, just goes like, "Mrs. Armstrong?" So that's weird for a ghost to say, which is, you know, our first hint that this, in fact, not a ghost. And that's the end of the teaser.

C: Yup.

G: The moment this episode started, I was like, "Oh. I don't like it that much."

C: "It's gonna be bad."

G: "I don't think I'm gonna like it that much."

C: "It's going to be a bad episode." And it was. It was a bad episode.

G: It was. Yeah.

-

C: So we cut to the present day. Sam and Dean are in a bar, and, like, Dean's taking three shots by now, which is relevant, I suppose. And Sam's pressing Dean about what Uriel said about how like, you know, he remembers Hell and all that shit, and Dean keeps lying and denying it. There's this waiter in the scene who... is gay? [laughs]

G: No!

C: Okay, well, what's the-

G: Well, you know what? We never know anyone's sexuality, so I don't know why I said "no" so vehemently. [both laugh] "No!"

C: Okay, I think that the joke is just that the waiter is overenthusiastic, but also like-

G: I like what he does here.

C: He's wearing suspenders like, covered in pins, and I just assume that makes you gay, even though none of the pins were pride pins. Like, if you have a massive collection of pins, I just assume one of them is a flag, a pride flag.

G: Are you a pin person? And are they pride flags? That's a more important question.

C: The backing on my rainbow pin broke, so not anymore. [laughs]

G: Oh, my God, you un-gayed.

C: Yeah, yeah.

G: But don't you have, like, pronoun pin? Don't you? I think you do.

C: Oh, yeah, I do have one. That's true. All my pins go on my backpack, though.

G: All of mine go to my ID lace. Like, the [both] lanyard. Yeah. And it looks so cool. I have one pride pin, but it's not like, a pride pin. It's a Star Trek pin, and it says "to proudly go" instead of "to boldly go." And then there's the Enterprise. It's so cute. I love it so much.

C: It is pretty cute.

G: Yeah. Well, the waiter, I don't think, is gay coded. I think he's-

C: Annoying-coded? [laughs]

G: He's trying-too-hard-coded. Which, you know what? Same thing. [both laugh]

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: Same thing! I love the thing he does where, like, he's saying like, "Oh, have some desert, have some dessert," and Sam's like, "No." And then he goes, "Okay. Well, here's the bill" immediately. Like, I think that's so nice, and I wish dining establishments do that more often where they just print the bill out before you say so.

C: Yeah, yeah.

So right, he's trying too hard. He keeps trying to like, get them to order more things off the menu and Dean keeps doing, like, "Get a load of this guy" faces at Sam, but it's really not relevant to anything. You know, Sam does that thing that like, would never fucking work on Dean where he says, "Oh, look at me in the eye and tell me you don't remember anything from your time in Hell." And like, Dean's like, "Okay!" And then he looks Sam in the eye and says it.

G: The thing is, if we're going to rank the people from Team Free Will who this will work on, we know it won't work on Cas. "Cause like, Dean did this to Cas. "Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley," and it did not work. So we can establish that it will not work with Cas- no no no, it will work on Cas but it will not work on Dean. Where does Sam lie?

C: Huh. I feel like, Sam can lie well enough. I feel like he could do it.

G: Yeah. The thing about Sam is, I feel like when he's lying, he like, lies so hard he deludes himself into thinking it's the truth.

C: Hm. Yeah.

G: You know what I mean?

C: I think I know what you mean.

G: Yeah. And I think it's kind of visible in the way he lied about, like, the Ruby thing, where it's like, yeah, he's lying about this specific thing, but like, he's not lying when he says that he think he's not doing anything wrong. You know, like, that.

C: Yeah. And he's not doing anything wrong-

G: And he's right. He's right.

C: - but Sam normally would think something wrong, which is, I guess, the deluding himself bit.

G: Yeah.

C: And then also, like, some like, woman in a tight shirt walks by, and Dean like, does a double take, blah blah blah. Who give a shit?

G: Who give a shit?

C: Yeah. So Sam starts pulling up potential cases, and then he says that up in Concrete, Washington, there are eyewitness reports of a ghost that's been haunting the showers of a women's health facility. And Dean immediately, like, does a fucking spit-take-

G: Chokes- Yeah.

C: - throws money down on the counter, and like, starts getting up, and he goes, "Women? Showers? We gotta save these people!" It's not funny. It isn't funny.

G: It's not funny. And it's specifically more unfunny given that, ever since we got to "Monster Movie," which is a solid couple of episodes ago, there has been this recurring theme of "We're doing this to save people!" but they're not really. And this like, just, Dean being like, "Oh, let's save the women who are showering," like, that just exemplifies that.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [sighs] Big fucking sigh. I just don't get it! I was listening to the Monster of the Week episode for the episode before this one, and they joke about this one, and they just go like, "Does Dean think women don't normally shower?" And like, literally. Does Dean think that women don't normally shower?

G: Yeah. Yeah. Dean doesn't believe that women get dirty.

C: Yeah, yeah.

-

G: Now, we are at a Chinese restaurant [C laughs] which is gonna be very relevant.

C: Yeah, it's called "Number One Lucky Chin's," and underneath it says, "Good things happen to those who eat," but next to it in Mandarin, it just says "钱大福" [fu2 is mispronounced as fu4] which just means like, I mean, word by word, it just means money, big, fortune.

G: For real. For fucking real.

C: So that's not really a restaurant name. Wait, sorry, it's fu2, not fu4. I fucked up on the thing. But you get it.

G: Yeah. Sam is alone, and by alone, I mean he's not with Dean. He's with someone. It's Candace, the woman from earlier. And he is proclaiming that he is writing a book that is gonna be called Supernatural. Truly a poor name for a book, and you know what? Also a poor name for a TV show. Like, what the fuck are we doing here? [C laughs] But yeah, he's gonna write a book, and he's interviewing people who have ghost encounters. And Candace is like, “Oh, I'm so sensitive with this ghost thing, like, no wonder this ghost tried to haunt me.” And basically, what she says is, after what we saw in the trailer, she starts freaking out, and the ghost calls her name, "Mrs. Armstrong, Mrs. Armstrong, don't tell my mom." And then she falls down the stairs out of freaking out, and then the ghost helps her get up. Which is, you know, very interesting. But yeah. They go to the fitness center-

C: Also, in the background, there's like, this couple that comes in, and like, being really PDA-ish-

G: Lovey-dovey.

C: - and like, making out. And Sam gets like- he like, keeps staring at them like he's confused. And we find out later that the reason why-

G: - Is because the guy is ugly. Yeah!

C: Yeah. Because the girl is supposedly way hotter than the guy.

G: God. You've never seen a real-life couple, Sam?

C: But like, first, the guy is an actor. He looks like an actor. Like, he's not ugly. Second, that's every heterosexual couple I've ever seen.

G: Yeah. Like, have you never met an actual, real life couple, Sam? Like, every- no, okay. That's a rude thing to say. You know what? I love men and women [C laughing] and everyone else equally. I am, in fact, bisexual. I'm not trying to go here and say that men are ugly, but you know.

C: I mean, it's just especially in like, couples where both members are straight, like, women usually put a lot more effort into their appearance, and that makes it so that, like, with the makeup and with the everything, they usually do look a lot more conventionally attractive than their partner.

G: That's true.

C: But yeah, apparently it is just completely unbelievable that this man who is an actor and looks like an actor could snag a woman who is like, somewhat younger than him and wearing makeup.

G: Like, I had two trains of thoughts which is like, I think the vibe they're going for this guy is like, incel, right?

C: Yeah.

G: The first one is like, you want me to believe this guy's an incel? He's looks like a guy. Like, he looks fine. But then, you know, obviously, there comes, I know, like, "That's not the point," you know. Like, that's not the point. You know what I mean? Like, incels come in many shapes and forms. A lot of them are probably attractive.

C: Yeah, a lot of incels are attractive, they just are also misogynistic, and that is-

G: Yeah, that's not the point, yeah. But like, also specifically, like, I do not believe that no one- because he says later that, like, "Women treat me like I'm invisible." [C laughs] Like, if I saw this guy, I'd be like, "Oh, he's cute." Like, for fucking real. And I understand that I'm not the target audience of this guy [C laughs], but like, bro. Somebody's gonna find you cute. Don't worry about it. Don't be misogynistic about it.

C: Right. It's so- like, at least in Love Hard, right, like-

G: [laughing] Noo!

C: - the conceit is like, Jimmy O. Yang is like, "Oh my god, I had to catfish you because, like, no women like, swiped right on me because I'm so ugly."

G: And then he was just like, holding axes. Yeah.

C: At least in that one, right, like, they like, refuted that trope by being like, "No, it's just because you look like a murderer in your photos due to holding an axe," but like, Supernatural plays that completely straight.

G: You know, I don't believe that either. With Love Hard, I don't believe that either. Women like the thrill.

C: Yeah, I feel like people would swipe on men holding axes. Like, it's fine.

G: Yeah. Women love the thrill, so. Yeah.

C: It's probably just because he lives in a town in like, bumfuck nowhere and his location settings are small or whatever.

G: That's true.

-

G: So Sam and Dean are just together again. Best bros for 5ever. Dean is reading a paper where it says that a man won the lottery, and he is saying that there is no EMF anywhere. And then they start walking, and he's like, "I'm pretty disappointed." And Sam says, "Well, you wanted to save those naked women." [C sighs] And Dean goes, "Yep. Damn right. I wanted to save some naked women." [C groans] Like, what is happening? What is this?

C: I mean, the idea is that like, he'd be able to hook up with like, multiple grateful damsels in distress after the hunt instead of just one, right?

G: Yeah! And we have talked about this. We have talked about this since episode 2, I feel. Like, since episode 2, we have been like, "This is something Supernatural does, and it is weird as fuck." And they're still doing it. And it's Season 4, Episode 8. And you know what? They will continue to do it for 5ever, so.

C: Yeah. Right, we'd hoped that Cas would eliminate all the [overlapping] pussy from Supernatural and end such things. But in every episode where he's not here, guess what happens?

G: Yeah. He literally is the symbol of misogyny that turns into homosexuality. [C laughs]

We see like, a bunch of kids running. And then like, it's a bunch of kids who are chasing a kid, and they're saying like, "Oh, get him! Get him!" You know, the whole thing. And Dean screams, "Run, Forrest, run!" which is so corny. He's so corny. He's so fucking corny. You know, Sam's like, "Nothing's happening here. I don't even know why we're here." And then something starts happening, which is a guy in the corner is screaming about how he saw Bigfoot and the guard is like, "Oh, you probably saw a bear," and the guy's like, "Oh, no, I saw Bigfoot." And then Sam and Dean come up to him, Sam brings out his badge. And mind you, they're wearing like, Carhartt hoodie-type situation right? Sam brings out and goes, "Uh, we're the FBI, and we're here for... that." [C laughs] And then the guy goes like, "Bigfoot? You're here for Bigfoot?" And Sam goes, "Yeah, we're here for Bigfoot." What is happening?

C: I don't know.

G: Anyway, Sam asks, "Can we see where you saw this Bigfoot?" And they go to the Bigfoot area.

C: They sure do. Also, did you mention that like, Sam specifically said that Candace was crazy or something? I didn't like it. He was very dismissive of her testimony.

G: He says specifically- 'cause like, the first report was that this woman got pushed off the staircase by the ghost. So the way he words it is like, "I think crazy pushed her." It's like, "Dude. There obviously was someone there." Because, like, the kind of details she gave was not something you can make up. Like, you can't make that shit up. Like, you fall down the stairs and a ghost helps you up? Like, that's weird and obscure enough to not be something somebody makes up.

C: Yeah, yeah. He's just being dismissive of her because she believes that she has an affinity for spirits or whatever, but, like, whatever! Like, God forbid women do anything!

G: God forbid women do anything.

-

C: So they go into the forest, and they see these like, giant footprints, and, you know, Sam goes, "That is a big foot." Corny. And they follow the tracks, and they get into like, this liquor store that got super duper trashed. Dean makes a comment that like, the drinks that the Bigfoot was having were "girl drinks."

G: Yeah. 'Cause he's a fucking asshole. It's like Amaretto and [both] Irish cream. You know what? I love an Amaretto.

C: Nice.

G: Yeah. I know you don't drink, and I don't drink anymore, but when I did, I used to love that shit.

C: Also, the Bigfoot stole all of the porn in the liquor store. So that's something.

G: Truly something.

C: So after they go outside to discuss a bit, there's like, this little girl on a bike, and she's got like, the basket full of something, and as she speeds past them something falls off of the top of her basket, and [laughs] guess what it is.

G: It was fucking Busty Asian Beauties. BAB mention! [both] Yay! [C groans] Yay!

C: I get like- does their prop team just not have enough imagination to come up with more than two possible, like, porn franchises in this universe. There's Busty Asian Beauties and there's Casa Erotica, and there's nothing else. Sick. Sick and tired.

G: You know what? What is a porn website that you think would fit into the Supernatural-verse?

C: I mean, they don't have a single like, kink or bondage franchise at all. Yeah, I really can't come up with a good pun.

G: RIP.

C: Sad.

G: I mean, Busty Asian Beauties is not even a good one.

C: That's true. Yeah, fine. There's a fucking shibari one called All Tied Up. The end. Okay.

G: There's a fucking machines one called Fucking Machines. I support that. [both laugh]

C: So Dean goes, "Oh, that girl's a little young for Busty Asian Beauties." And I think what I wrote down was, "Well, this is a horrible day for me, but at least he didn't make a lesbian joke."

G: For what?

C: Oh, I mean because it was a girl, and she had Busty Asian Beauties.

G: Oh, well, I would assume that Dean has some semblance of "That is a little child." Which, you know, bare minimum. The bar is literally in Hell [C laughs], and he sure did jump over it. 'Cause he was there.

C: Yeah, yeah. So we see her like, drop off all the stolen liquor and porn, like, in a box by the store with a note on top of it that says, "Sorry!"

G: Honestly, this kid and the bear is like, the highlight of this episode. They're like, such good characters. And the little kid specifically is such a good- like, the actor for this kid is good, because usually, when we have kids in Supernatural, it's like, the Ben situation, right? Where it's like, “Oh, like, here's a kid that I'm gonna take care of.” Or it's like, Lilith situation where it's a creepy child. This one, this kid's just a kid. And I love that like. She's like, "Oh, something's wrong with my teddy bear!" and I was like, "Oh, buddy. Many things are wrong with your teddy bear." [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: And when she said- like, there's a line here that I thought was so funny, like, the bear was like, "What is the point of anything?" and she goes like, "So we can have tea parties!" And it's like, that's so adorable. This kid is such a good addition to this episode.

C: I agree. I feel like she's a little- she acts a little younger than she looks. But like, Supernatural also has like, 30-year-olds playing high schoolers, so like, whatever.

G: That's true.

-

G: So they go to this house of this girl named Audrey, and they knock, and they ask, like, "Are your parents home?" and she goes, "No." And she's so cute! And Dean is asking if she has, you know, like, a really really furry... And then he trails off a bit because the girl cuts her off and goes like, "Is he in trouble?" And Sam says, "No, we just want to make sure that he's okay." And Audrey says that he is, in fact, a teddy bear, and that she thinks he's sick. And Dean is like, "Oh, yeah, because we're um- That's amazing. We are, um- We're teddy bear doctors!" And they bring out their badges, and they wave it in like, a "Oh, look!" way.

C: They bring out like, medical badges.

G: The health inspector badges, yeah. But it was cute! Like, I thought it was funny. I thought it was fucking funny as hell.

C: It's pretty funny.

G: Anyway, yeah. So they go inside and look at the teddy bear. And the way they do this scene is so funny. So basically like, they're outside of the room and like, the camera is like, looking in. You know, it's like, looking at the door. And Audrey, is like, "Okay, I'm gonna open the door now. He's inside, but he's a bit grumpy, so take care of that." And then she opens the door, and there's just a little giant fucking teddy bear inside who goes like, "Close the frikkin door." And Audrey just like, closes the door and all sadly goes, "You see what I mean?" [C laughs] Aww. Her bestie teddy is so upset at the world. So sorry.

C: Yeah, yeah. Also, this teddy bear has red eyes, which I think really adds a lot.

G: No, but I feel like a lot of teddy bears have that kind of like, red reflective thing inside their eye, you know?

C: Yeah, yeah. I feel like when they're fucking giant, it's a little creepier.

G: It's a little disconcerting, yeah.

So Audrey is out there, and she said that she wanted and wished for a teddy that was big, real, and talked. And she goes, "But he's now sad all the time, and not 'ouch' sad, but 'ouch in the head' sad." Love that. I love that line. Literally, I'm not "ouch" sad, I'm "ouch in the head" sad. Yeah. And she says that the the bear says weird stuff and smells like the bus.  Yeah. And Dean says, like, "Uh, little girl?" and then she goes, "Oh, it's Audrey!" She says that she wished in a wishing well for the teddy to become real, and then Dean reopens the door, and it's Teddy watching the news. And, you know, Teddy's like, "It's a terrible world. Why am I here?" Audrey screams, "For tea parties!" And the teddy goes, "Tea parties? Is that all there is?" God. This bear is so fucking depressed. Man, enjoy the fucking tea party. But you know what? If there was no visible way for me to die, like, if I was immortal for the rest of my life, I'd probably be miserable too. Like, I'm sorry, vampires, but vampires would probably be miserable, too. You know what? That's probably the plot of a lot of vampire fiction. Is it? I don't consume many, so.

C: Maybe. Probably.

G: Maybe. Yeah. Reckoning with the immortality of it all. Whoo.

Sam and Dean gather. They're talking to each other. They're [laughs] contemplating whether they're gonna kill this giant fucking teddy bear. And Dean is like-

C: They both make really good faces the full time. When Sam is like, "So, uh, should we- should we kill this teddy bear?"

G: "Are we gonna kill this teddy bear?" So good.

C:  I was laughing.

G: Yeah. And then Dean is like, "Well, we can shoot it or burn it." And then they're like, "That's probably not gonna work, though, so like, what the fuck?" And, as we know later, it won't work. And the thing is, the shooting doesn't work. But I feel like the burning would work.

C: Yeah, it probably would.

G: Because the burning requires like, a disintegration of material. But also like. where is the consciousness of this fucking bear? You know.

C: Right. Because it's not in the head.

G: Not in the head, baby. Maybe this is one is one of those bears with like, there's like, a heart. You know there's-

C: Yeah, Build-a-Bear

G:  Sam is like, yeah, we can solve this bear and all that, but it's not really the root problem. So, you know. And then they turn around to face Audrey again, and they ask, "Where are your parents, Audrey?" And she goes, "Well, they wished to be in Bali, so I guess they're in Bali."

When her parents come back later, they are sunburnt to hell and back, and I found that soo funny. I thought it was so funny. Like, it's literally just this man and this woman with like, red stripes right across their cheeks and their nose.

Sam is trying to his hardest. He's like, "Well, do you have anyone that like, you can stay with? Because we need to take care of teddy, and teddy has... lollipop disease [C laughs], and-" It's adorable. Like, this. Entire interaction is so fucking funny to me. Like, I genuinely think it's fucking hilarious.

C: It is pretty funny.

G: Yeah. So they send Audrey to the neighbor. And then they're like, "Well, where is the wishing well, Audrey?" And then they proceed to the wishing well, which is, in fact, [both] in the Chinese restaurant.

-

C: So we see the boy who is getting bullied by all those kids, like, throw a coin into the fountain and make a wish. And then Sam and Dean show up. And Dean decides to test out the wishing well by making a wish himself, and as he tosses the coin inm a delivery guy shows up with a foot-long Italian sub with jalapeno.

G: Hell yeah.

C: And Dean's like, "Okay, yeah, it works." And he starts eating the wish sandwich, and they start talking about other things that are probably the result of the wishes, like, there's a guy who won the lottery in the newspaper. And then the couple from earlier in the restaurant is here still, or here again, and Sam points at them, and he goes, "I'm guessing that was the result of a wish."

G: Why??

C: Which, like, what?

G: We've talked about it. We've talked about it.

C: We've talked about it already. But seriously, what?

G: Like, who are you- You know what? I am also a judger. So maybe I shouldn't judge Sam that much. Like, the amount of time I've seen a couple - a straight couple, specifically - and been like, "What the fuck is going on here?" is for fucking real. [C laughs] So like, I should keep my mouth shut.

C: Yeah, perhaps. But like, I feel like, it's one thing to be like, "Man, I wonder how that happened" versus, like, "I bet this is a hundred percent because of the wishing well."

G: No, for fucking real, though. Yeah.

C: I don't know. They have like, a small moral debate that like, makes no sense but is just supposed to set up themes of the episode or something where Dean's like, "Well, this doesn't seem that bad. Let's not stop people's wishes from coming true," but Sam's like, "Well, this will probably come with a price tag." And then the owner of the restaurant comes over and tells Dean he can't be eating outside food in here. And Dean's like, "Well, that's because I'm from the Health Department, and-"

G: "You have rats."

C: "- you have rat infestation." Also, there's like, a bit where, like, he takes out the wrong ID first, but then he like, feels around his other pocket and gets his health department fake ID. Good for him.

G: Yeah.

C: So, you know, they drain the fountain, everyone gets out, and the owner of the restaurant like, hangs around, and I thought he would be more plot relevant, but I think he's just here for humor reasons.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. okay, whatever.

G: He's an accented Asian man, so like, happy Asian- happy Asian- [laughs]

C: Right. Happy Asian rep. Happy for- well, I mean, this probably gave this actor health insurance for another few months or whatever.

G: Hell yeah.

C: So that's something. So yeah basically, his deal's that he's staying here while they're doing the inspection. He keeps saying like, "Oh my god, the restaurant's fine. Stop it. Oh my god, why are you trying to destroy my fountain?" etc etc.

So yeah, they're not finding too much in the fountain, and Sam and Dean have a conversation where Dean asks if Sam feels tempted to make a wish. And he says specifically, like, "Wouldn't you wish yourself back to before it all started so that you could be a big yuppie lawyer with a nice car and a white picket fence?" And he doesn't bring up Jess-

G: Yeah.

C: - who I assume would be the main reason Sam would wish for that. But I feel like it would also maybe be rude to bring up Jess unprompted, so I don't know.

G: Yeah.

C: But this is supposed to be an emotional conversation. So actually, it is weird that he didn't bring up Jess.

G: The thing about Supernatural is they don't treat Jess like a person. They treat Jess like a representation of normal life. Like, she's not like, a person. She's Sam's girlfriend, which is, you know, a different thing. And like, it really does show in the way they interact with Sam's character moving forward after that. Like, the way it's like, "Oh, Sam, didn't lose an actual person. He lost the opportunity for normalcy." And it's like, "Okay, we fucking get it."

C: Right. There's no point where Sam's like, "Oh, I'm sad. Jess really liked this song" or something, you know?

G: Yeah.

C: It's just like, "Well. I could've been a rich lawyer."

G: [laughing] You know what? "Jess didn't like this song" reminds me of this one post that our friend Danica sent us about like, how it's like, if Succession was bad, it would be just like Supernatural for real. [both laugh] Literally, they should have made, you know, Succession bad so it could be just like Supernatural for real. And in both shows, both Supernatural and Succession, they should have done a “My girlfriend died, and the song that we like is playing” situation.

C: Real.

G: And the song should be “Pretty Woman” so that we can put a Doctor Who reference in there.

C: Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's barely a Doctor Who reference. It's a reference to one very short scene in one very mid episode that a certain subset of Doctor Who fans might care about.

G: And the subset is... [mimicking trumpet fanfare] dun-dun-dun-dun-

C: Is me.

G: Yeah. Is you.

C: And everyone else who wants her to fuck that old man. Fine, I'll say it on the podcast.

G: Yeah, I asked- 'cause I have friends who are into Doctor Who other than you-

C: Oh, god. Right, and I mean, obviously, they were all like, "Ugh, ew! No, I don't ship Clara and Twelve."

G: [laughing] Yeah, they were.

C: But unfortunately I think that they should cannibalize each other.

G: [laughing] They said- literally, they said to me, "Well, some people have weird things that they like." [both laughing] And it's like, "Okay! Well." [screams]

C: The show clearly wants it to happen also, but they want it to happen in different ways than I want it to happen.

G: Okay, got it. I believe you.

C: Yeah. Sam says that "It's too late to go back to our old lives, Dean. I'm not that guy anymore." And Dean asked what he'd wish for then. He goes, "What would Sammy wish for?" And Sam says, completely deadpan, "Lilith's head on a plate. Bloody."

G: Wow.

C: And Dean goes, "Okay!" [laughs]

G: Yeah. Fucking cool as shit. What's that painting by Caravaggio? The-

C: Oh, yeah, Judith and [both] Holofernes.

G: Yeah. Yeah. We need the Sam and Lilith painting that is exactly like Judith and Holofernes.

C: We do.

G: Yeah. Have I talked about my Caravaggio phase [both] on the podcast?

C: I don't think so.

G: No, I don't think so. Yeah, I'm going fucking through it, guys. I'm also going through a Will Wood phase. It's a lot. A lot of things are- there are many phases in my life right now.

C: Would you say that "Um, It's Kind of a Lot"?

G: It's- it literally is Um, Kind of a Lot.

C: I'm trying to have thoughts about this change in Sam, but like, I don't have thoughts. Like, my only thoughts are "Okay, edgelord."

G: Literally okay, you fucking edgelord. Like, I don't know. He's a bit corny this episode. He's like, [deep voice, dramatically] "Dean, I want you to talk to me. [C laughs] Oh my god, life is so miserable now, and we can never go back. The point of life is to be miserable." Why am I putting Donald Trump voice for Sam? [both laugh] What is happening?

C: I do not not hear it like that. But yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: I don't know.

G: He literally said, "The point of life is to be miserable. That's what makes us human."

C: He did say that. What was that?

G: Fucking Catholic-ass- [C laughs] Literally, like, battling it out with John Constantine in terms of Catholicism.

C: Yeah. Yeah. He sure is.

G: The competitors for "most Catholic" is Sam Winchester, John Constantine, and Grey BABPod. [laughs]

C: Real.

G: Real.

C: I think there is a Tumblr poll for that going on right now.

G: The most Catholic?

C: So far, I think Firestar the Warriors cat has won against a priest character in a comic is the only like, subround that I've seen.

G: Love that.

C: I don't know who else is in the round.

G: The very last round should be. whoever wins that poll versus me, I feel.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah, that's true.

-

C: They finally see something that is different, and it's an ancient coin that seems to be basically welded to the bottom of the well. Like, they cannot pick it up. So they come back in with a hammer and crowbar, and the owner is like, "Hey, what the fuck? Stop." And Sam threatens to knock him out/kill him with a crowbar?

G: No, I don't think so. I think he's threatening like, "Oh, we will slam you with this law from the health inspector's office."

C: Um- oh. Is that what a 44-16 is?

G: 44/16? I don't know. I have no idea. I just assumed it was like, something. It's 44- what is 44/16? Can we find one-

C: I assumed it was like a 44 inch by 16 inch, like, crowbar or something.

G: Oh my god, it's a pistol.

C: [laughing] Oh my god, what? [laughing]

G: Like, I looked up "44/16 weapon," and what showed up is a pistol.

C: Okay. So he he did threaten to kill this random guy.

G: What the fuck, Sam?

C: Okay, Well.

G: Great. You can just say that there's a radioactive fucking coin in your wishing well. Like, that would work.

C: Yeah.

G: "We need to remove it. It welded into the bottom of the wishing well because it was radioactive, and it melted, and you know, don't question how science works. Don't even think about it, my love."

C: No, but no. This poor Chinese man is to be killed if he does not let them destroy his restaurant.

G: Yeah. I love that phrase, by the way. "Don't even think about it, my love." Do you know the reference that is from?

C: No.

G: It's like, a Tumblr ask that says, "What is a chode?" And then the reply is, "Don't even think about it, my love." [C laughs] And I say it constantly. I say that constantly.

C: Good.

G: Yeah. Things that have been in my vocabulary recently is "Don't even worry about it, my love." And I have a friend called Rese, and I call her "Rese darling" as like, a rhyme to "greased lightning." I don't even know what's happening, but, you know, it's cute.

C: Okay. Yeah. I thought you were gonna talk about "It's so joever."

G: Oh my god! [laughs] It literally is fucking joever. [both laughing] And the thing is, right now, we're recording this episode on June 13, 2023, and it has been such an old fucking thing that people say. And this episode is gonna release, probably, like, 3 weeks from now, so like, it's gonna be even older when it's released. But it's literally is fucking joever, you guys. It's joever.

C: Grey has been saying that a lot, which means that I've been thinking it a lot now, too, so I pass this on to you, listeners. Please continue the joever legacy.

G: Yeah.

-

C: The whole, like, crowbar/hammer thing doesn't work on the coin. It breaks the hammer.

G: Hell yeah.

C: So they're finally like, "Okay, this coin is magical. We cannot move it." Dean says that he thinks that it's hoodoo that's protecting the well, but like, I think he's just using that to mean magic in general.

G: Yeah, I think so too

C: Because we learn later that it's a Babylonian coin.

G: Yeah, I mean, remember that one I was like, "I think Bela is using 'hoodoo' wrong," and it turns out Dean was using "hoodoo" wrong this entire fucking time, and I just thought- I was unaware?

C: Oh, it was "mojo," I think.

G: Oh, mojo, got it, got it.

C: But yeah, Dean just likes to say words that mean different things than what he wants them to mean.

C: Sam does like, a tracing of the coin, or like, a rubbing of the coin that is like, the sloppiest thing ever.

G: Yeah!

C: Like, you cannot see what is on the coin from the rubbing that he did.

G: One half of that rubbing is empty. [C laughing] Like, there's nothing there. How am I supposed to find- Like, Sam, what are you doing? What is this? What are we? I've rubbed-

C: You can take photos on your phone!

G: I know! I have rubbed leaves in my life that were clearer than this. [C laughs] This is wild.

C: Yeah. And then he tells Dean, like, "You look into this, something just occurred to me, and I have to go."

G: And you know what? I'm glad he didn't bring Dean here.

C: Oh, fucking- yeah. I'm really glad he was like, "I've made an executive decision, and I think I am the person to deal with this specific situation."

G: Yeah. Basically, what he does is he goes to the women's- what do they call it? Health facility?

C: Yeah, with the shower room.

G: And there's like, a woman, she's in front of the mirror, newly showered. And then Sam comes in, holds the invisible guy by the shoulder, and the guy turns un-invisible- well, I guess, visible. And the woman starts screaming, and Sam goes, [cool guy voice] "Don't worry, ma'am. I'm with the health department." [laughing] What? This one did also make me laugh out loud. I thought it was so funny! He's literally with the fucking health department.

And so Sam confronts this guy. He says, like, "You walked up to that wishing well and wished you were invisible so you could spy on women's shower?"

C: He sounds like, so incredulous and judgmental, and on one hand, I found that quite fun, but on the other hand, Ben Edlund, you chose to write that. You can't be like, "Oh my god, I can't believe you would do that. That's such a stupid fucking thing to do. Who even thought of that?" You thought of it, Ben Edlund.

-

G: Todd, who is a little kid that was being chased by bullies earlier-

C: He's now chasing his bullies around.

G: And then we see Dean kind of like, making a like, "Oh, I'm about to shit" face.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: Yeah. And he is about to shit. Go shit, girl. Do you know about that? "Go piss, girl"?

C: Yeah, I know about "Go piss, girl."

G: You know what? With you, I never know what you know and don't know. Like, you told me that you don't know what the fuck where joever is from?

C: Yeah, I don't. [laughs]

G: Yeah. I should have never told you where it's from so you think I just made it up. Like, I just started saying "It's joever" for no reason. [both laugh] It literally is joever, though.

C: I mean, "Go piss, girl," I've known about it for a long time, but like, even if I didn't, of course I would know about it now given how closely it's tied into Hank Green's coming out but not coming out.

G: Oh, yeah!

C: It's not a coming out because he was already out before, but like, this was like, the thing that made most people know that he's bisexual.

-

C: So, you know, Sam comes back, and Dean's like, "That sandwich fucked me up. The wishes do have a twist." And apparently, while he was shitting and pissing, he found out that the coin is a cursed Babylonian coin, and the serpent on it represents Tiamat, who he says is the Babylonian god of primordial chaos.

G: Did you factcheck that?

C: Factcheck, yeah, she is a goddess of the sea, and she represents the chaos of primordial creation. So a little bit off. Also, I couldn't find anything about coins being religious objects in Babylon, but like, I also didn't look too hard. But yeah, he says that like, some priests were doing black magic and cursed this coin, or- What? Sure, okay, whatever. And like, the point of it is to sow the seeds of chaos. And so you put it in a wishing well, and it turns the well into a real wishing well, but the wishes get twisted up. And apparently, this coin has like, killed towns before because everyone starts like, coming to get their wishes, and then somehow it causes destruction. And the lore is that whoever made the first wish-

G: Has to unwish it, yeah.

C: Has to go in, and they're able to take the coin out and reverse every single wish. So that's that. [laughing] Grey, you wanna take this next one?

-

G: Okay. So the next scene is, we are in back to Audrey's house, and Teddy is- well, first, we pan to a blackboard, and it says, "Life is meaningless. Signed, T. Bear." And I was like, "Oh my god! The bear's transgender!" And then [both laughing] we back to the bear, and he's crying, with a shotgun in his mouth. And I was like, "Oh my god! The transgender bear is gonna kill himself!" [C laughing] And then he blows his head out, and the way we see it is like, we pan aside the way you would for a blood splatter, but there's no blood splatter because, you know, this is a teddy bear. There's a cotton filling splatter, but it pans back to the bear, who is still alive and crying, and the bear screams, "WHYYY?" [C laughing]

This scene- I mean, the emotional roller coaster of seeing "T. Bear" and of seeing said T. Bear with a shotgun in his mouth is truly something. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, no, I did lose my shit a little at this scene. [G laughs] It was pretty fucking funny. But like, the brand of humor that's more WTF humor than actually funny, but it is also actually funny. I wish they didn't call the bear a bipolar nutjob right before this scene happened-

G: Yeah.

C: But other than that, like, 10 out of 10. Good job.

G: Yeah. I love that he signed it "T. Bear." Like, for fucking real. Like, he could have signed it "Teddy," you know? That's his name. His name's Teddy. He could have signed it "Teddy." But he was like, "Let's be serious. And let's be fucking transgender, baby!"

C: Yeah.

-

G: We go back to a motel room where Sam and Dean are staying, and Dean is sleeping and having nightmares. And then, you know, Sam wakes him up. And Dean makes up, and he's like, "Whuh- whuh- what?" And Sam starts confronting him again about how "You've been drinking so much, you're having all these nightmares," and he asks, "You remember Hell, don't you?" I like the line where he says, like, "We're with each other 24/7. I know that something's fucking going on with you." And, you know, Dean asks like, "Oh, who give a shit?" And Sam says, "I just want the truth. I'm your brother. I just wish you'd talk to me." which is, you know, Dean directly response to that wish later. But for now, he says, like, "Well, careful what you wish for. [douchey sound]"

C: Yup.

G: Yeah. That is the most Roman Roy thing I've ever- the most Roman Roy voice I've ever done. [Roman Roy voice] "Careful what you wish for."

Anyway, Sam reveals more of the lore, which is like- not lore, I guess, but like, their investigation into who has done the wishes. So we got teddy bear, lottery guy, pervert guy, and, like, most of that is from the last 2 weeks. But they can't figure out who wished first, because, you know, there's no like, actual timeline for that. And Dean is like, "Well, they announce it on the paper sometimes," and this one goes back a month, and then he points to Wesley Mondale and Ms. Hope Lynn Casey, who announced their surprise engagement a month ago. And Sam and Dean are like, "Yep, this is it."

C: Yep. And to be clear, that's the couple in the restaurant that where supposedly one of them is so so ugly.

-

C: We cut to the house where this couple live, and like, Wes is like, asleep in an armchair, and, like, Hope comes in, all tradwife, like, with an entire roast chicken, and like, roasted vegetables around. And she's like, "Oh, hey, honey, I thought you might want a snack. Here you go." And, you know, he's like, "Oh, you didn't have to do that." and she goes, "I wanted to. Well, no, I had to. Because I love you more than anything, lover!" And, you know, he seems- the thing is like, in this scene, he seems way more like- unaware that he did this, and like, way more willing to turn her back than he is in like, later when Sam and Dean show up.

G: Later, yeah.

C: Like, I'm actually somewhat sad for this guy right now, because I don't know that-

G: - he did it intentionally, yeah.

C: - he's like, aware that he did this.

G: Yeah. 'Cause he could have just literally dropped some random coin and been like, "I wish she would love me back," which is, I think, a normal thing to desire.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, that's a normal thing to wish, yeah.

C: Yeah, 'cause like, you don't think any of that shit's actually gonna happen.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, 'cause he seems like he actually cares here.

G: About her, yeah.

C: When he like, sits her down and asks like, "Hey, are you happy?"

G: Which she responds, "I love you more than anything" to. Which, you know, most normal response. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. And he goes like, "Yeah, I know. And I love you too, but that's why I want you to start doing things that like, used to make you happy before." And she goes like, "Yes, Wes. I'll try to be happier. I'll start right away." And when he starts going like, "No no no, that's not what I meant," like, she starts crying, and she goes like, "No, please don't be angry with me! I would die! I'd just fucking die!" And as soon as he says he's not angry, then that immediately shuts off, and she's like, "Okay, well, let me make it up to you," and she like, starts like, undoing his belt. It's all very, very creepy, which I think it's well done-

G: It's well done, yeah.

C: - until the rest episode.

G: Yeah. You know what? A little bit- part of me wishes that the guy is unaware, you know? Like, he didn't wish for it intentionally, in a way that, you know, is like- Because I feel like this dynamic that they had going here in this scene was very interesting and far more interesting than [mocking voice] "Oh, nobody wants me" and, you know, like, all that.

C: "I'm not gonna take it back!" Like, oh my god. Yeah.

G: 'Cause like, they already have another conflict, which is that the girl, like, Casey-

C: Hope.

G: - doesn't want it to be taken because like, she's, you know- Her name's Hope? Isn't her name Casey?

C: That's her last name or something.

G: Oh. Well, anyway, she doesn't want the wish to be taken back, like, because she was wished to not wish that, you know? So like, there's already conflict there. And the way they do it at the end, where, like [C hisses] the last scene of them- Hello?

C: Yeah. Yeah, that was me making hissing, discontented noises. Sorry.

G: Yeah. The last scene of this like, portion of the episode, which is the guy being like, "It's okay, it's okay." and then throwing- and then getting the wish out, like, that could have still worked. If that's how you wanted to end it, it could have worked with just the concept being Hope being like, "No, don't do this," you know?

C: Yeah.

G: So I don't fucking know.

C: [sighs] Ben Edlund.

G: Yeah.

C: It's- well, yeah, my main issue with the end is the way that it completely focuses on Wes's feelings.

G: Yeah.

C: Right, like, first, we're going, like, "This guy's a total incel, he sucks," blah blah blah. And then, as soon as he unwishes it, it's like, sad piano music, "Oh, no, it's so sad that she doesn't love him anymore!" And we don't give a single thought to like, the absolute horrors that this woman has been through for the past month? And as soon as I watched the final scene, I was like, "Wait. Who wrote 'Simon Said'?" And it was Ben Edlund. And it's like, the exact same thing to me, where, like, the end of "Simon Said" is like, the point of it is like, "Oh, Andy's so sad that because his twin brother tried to rape this girl and then tried to get her to commit suicide, she no longer trusts him because he has similar mind powers," and it's just like, sad piano music on Andy's face as she gets taken away. Like, ughhh! Like, he sets up these dynamics that could be interesting if you just like, focused on the woman and her feelings. But he never fucking does it!

G: Yeah.

C: Anyway. So the door rings, and Sam and Dean come in, and they're pretending to be florists for the wedding. And like, Hope's really excited about this. And as soon as she runs off to get the folders, you know, Sam and Dear are like, "Hi, yeah, we're florists, and from the Health Department, and FBI, and teddy bear doctors, like, whatever. We just fucking know that you are the one who threw that coin in." They notice that like, he has a coin collection, and one of the coins is missing. And this was apparently from his grandfather. He pauses a lot. He goes, "My... grandfather gave them to me," and I was like, "Oh is he like, an immortal being? Like, they're like, his coins." But, like, apparently there was no fucking reason for him to pause before saying the word grandpa.

G: This guy was just fully fleshing out this character. In his head, this guy has a complicated relationship with his grandfather, and it was a House MD situation where it's like, "Is that really my grandfather? Am I actually biologically related to him?" you know.

C: Right, right, right. The actor was trying his damnedest, but they just gave him incel.

Hope comes back, and Sam asks how the two of them met. And Hope goes like, "Oh, it was the best day of my life! It was the funniest thing. Like, we both grew up in this town, but I just never really knew who he was at all. But then, one day last month, I just like, saw him, and it felt like it was the first time, and he was like, glowing, and I fell in love." And he tells her to leave by asking her to fetch some coffee. And like, before she goes, she like, makes out with him, for like, an uncomfortably long amount of time. Well, it's not even making it. It's like pecking, but over and over again because he keeps trying to get her to go, but she just keeps doing it. And then, while she's getting coffee from the kitchen, she can overhear Sam and Dean as they, you know, reveal the truth or have Wes reveal the truth. So yeah, it's a call from his grandfather. and he brought it back to him and said that it like, was an actual wish-granting coin, like, it actually has powers, but no one should ever use it. And then he said that after- okay, his grandfather was all he had, and after he died, he thought, "Well, why not give the coin a shot?" And like- would not- wouldn't one's wish right after your grandfather who's all you had died be for your grandfather to come back?

G: I know. This guy's- they were like-

C: What was the fucking- like, "I need this girl that I like to comfort me in her skinny, makeupped arms"?

G: Yeah.

C: Okay, dude. Whatever. And Sam says, "Okay, well, you have to undo your wish, and if you don't, something bad is going to happen." And then Wes is still like, "No, no, no," so Dean sort of like, flashes him his gun and goes, "We really wish you'd come with us." This is a scenario where I'm like, "I get it" with the gun-threatening. Sam in that restaurant, Jesus Christ. This one is also a bit much, too, but like, I get it a bit more.

G: Yep.

-

G: So we go to the Impala, where, you know, Wes is in the backseat, Sam and Dean are in front. And Wes is just saying like, "Why does it have to be a bad thing?" and all that, and Dean is like, "You know, this town is gonna go insane."

C: The thing is- they talk about- they just go like, "Oh, it's bad because all the wishes go bad." Like, at no point are they like, "You've ruined this woman's life."

G: No, I mean, there was a point where Sam asks- Ah, yeah, you're right. Because even that was like, "You, don't you feel-"

C: Yeah, "You're not having a good relationship because she acts like a robot." It's not like, "You've ruined her life." It's just like, "Oh, like, you're not getting everything you wanted from this wish."

G: Yeah. So basically, that's the caliber of the conversation they're having. And Dean- The crux of this conversation is Dean being like, "You're not supposed to get what you want. Not like this. Nobody is." Sam and Dean start interchanging- like, basically, Wes says, like, "You guys have anything you want because you're attractive." [C snorts] And Sam's like, "No we don't! We don't have anything we want!" And, you know, it's a whole situation. Also, they hit something, and they're like, "What the fuck was that?" And it's the invisible guy. And it's so funny because the hit was pretty hard, I suppose, but the guy turns visible, and he's just going, "Ouch. Youch."

C: "Owie!"

G: "Owie!" [laughs] You know, we do this "ouchie ouchie yaoi-"

C: Every episode.

G: No, but we literally say "ouch, youch, yaoi" every episode. [C laughs] And it literally- for fucking real, he goes, "Ouch. Youch. Owie!"

C: Right. And I think the point of that is like, Sam's like, "Okay, well, I know about you now, so  don't fucking turn invisible again, you creep." So like, this is like, "Well, he did it again, and he's getting punished by getting run over by the Impala."

G: Yeah. Yeah. And Dean says more, like, "People are people because they're miserable bastards. Because they never really get what they want." And Sam's like, "Yeah, the moment you get what you want, you get crazy." And it's a whole thing.

C: [laughs] Like, what's happening here?

G: Yeah. Yeah.

C: Like, what are they even referencing in their life?

G: Yeah. Like, when has they ever gotten anything they want?

C: Right. And they've already- they've gone crazy, or whatever. There's no backing for anything that they're saying. Like, on one hand, the message is like, "Oh, like, the wish goes south, like, with the food poisoning, so that's why you shouldn't do it." And then it's also like, "Oh, it causes chaos if everyone's wishes conflict with each other." And now it's like, the argument is now, "You shouldn't get you what you want because being miserable is what makes you human." Like, it's just very ideologically confused.

Was "Monster Movie" a Bedlund also?

G: Ye... I don't know.

C: Yes, yes, it was a Bedlund plus Singer.

G: It was?

C: It was a Bedlund plus Singer.

G: What the hell?

C: This seems to be a Bedlund thing. Like, he doesn't know- like, he tries to make his episodes have a theme, but like, he does a really bad job with it.

G: Yeah, like, "Here's the theme. And here's the opposite message [C laughs] presented to you in a way that solidifies the theme in no way whatsoever." Like, okay, dude. Great.

Like, it's okay if it's a completely different thing, like, "Here's the theme I'm trying to say, but the episode is doing something far off-" No. He's doing the opposite, you know? [C laughs] What is happening?

C: [laughing] I don't know. He's just having them say words.

G: Literally, "Here are words, here are actions. Say them, do them." [C laughs]

C: Are you gonna be that kind of actor?

G: Yeah. And you know what? I wish they were. I wish they fucking were.

C: Only the Wes actor was that kind of actor.

G: Yeah. C: He tried.

G: He did try.

Anyway, Wes is like, "Oh, you guys are saying that this town's gonna go insane, but like, nothing insane is happening." And then they see that the little kid, Todd- Todd's his name, right? Like, Todd locked a bunch of kids into a car and is now flipping it over.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: Go, kid. You know what? Like, for me still, up to this day, I like to think I'm a forgiving person. But every single boy - because usually, they are boys - who bullied me in fifth and sixth grade, I still wish for their death and torture. [both laughing] So like, I get this. I get this. And I'm fully in my twenties, so like, you know. This kid is like, 8 or whatever.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Happy for him.

He starts like, screaming, "Kneel before Todd! Kneel before Todd!" while, like, flexing. And you know what? Good for him.

G: Good for him.

-

C: Sam and Dean get out of the car. Dean's like, "Okay, I'll deal with the Todd situation. Sam, you get Wes to the Chinese restaurant, to Lucky Chin's, and undo all the wishes." And I was like, "Oh, that's nice. Usually Sam, like, never gets to be on the side of the main monster battle near the end of the episode."

G: [laughing] And that's not fucking anything.

C: [laughing] And you know what?

G: He literally gets lightninged to death! [C laughing] They fucking lightninged him to death. [both laughing]

C: Oh my god. Maybe if they put them inside of a bank vault the lightning would have wouldn't have hit him. Things to think about.

G: Exactly.

C: So, you know, Dean talks to Todd, and he's like, "Hey, listen, I get it." And Todd goes like, "No, you don't know what it's like. Every day. I couldn't stop them, I couldn't do anything." And Dean goes, "Yeah, no, you're right. I don't know what it's like. But you're you, and I'm me, so." [laughing] Is he really making a "I'm too cool to get bullied" joke in this like, dire time?

G: I don't fucking know what he's doing. It's funny-

C: I guess it could be like, "No one can truly know another person's experience."

G: Yeah.

C: But it really, really did read like, "I never got bullied because I'm too cool. Look at me. Look at you."

G: Yeah.

C: And, you know, Dean tries to like, "Great power comes great responsibility" this kid. But midway through his sentence, Todd punches down in the chest and sends him flying into some garbage cans. Good for him.

Meanwhile, you know, Sam and Wes are outside, and Sam's still trying to convince him, and Wes is going like, "Well, why can't we just get what we want?" And Sam goes, [dramatically] "Because that's life, Wes." And then a fucking like, cartoon storm cloud appears over Sam, and lightning zaps him to death.

G: RIP! This is where Supernatural ends. [C laughs] Supernatural has, in fact ended.

C: Yeah, alright. It was really good having all of you be listeners of our podcast. I'm gonna miss doing this every week.

G: Yeah.

C: Thank you so much to our our patrons on our non-existent Patreon... [G laughs]

G: We have an existent Ko-Fi that you can keep on giving money to past this episode. [C laughs] So there is that.

C: Yeah, yeah.

Oh, right, we said that we were gonna mention more in the episodes that there's like, actual content on our Ko-Fi.

G: Yeah. [laughs] 'Cause you know what? People are subscribed to our Ko-Fi, but they don't watch any of the shit we post! [both laughing] So watch the shit we put out!

C: [laughing] Like, we actually put time into the stuff-

G: [laughing] We do have extra exclusive content, like, go check it out. It's great.

C: I mean-

G: Like, it's fine. It's funny sometimes.

C: Yeah, if you like the parts of this podcast where we aren't talking about Supernatural, like, go to our Ko-Fi, where we aren't talking about Supernatural.

G: What's funny is we do have people. Like, we do have people in there. [laughing] And they just don't watch it! RI-fucking-P. You know, no obligation. You know, it's all for fun. But do do it, yeah.

C: Yeah. I understand if two hours a week is all the time you have for us.

G: Yeah. But, you know, it's fun. Like, we we have a Let's Play now where we play a game every month, and it's it's great. Happy Pride.

C: Happy Pride. This is gonna release past Pride.

G: Oh, for fucking sure.

C: Yeah.

G: Well, happy post-Pride.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah, it's after you're proud, and you're ashamed, I guess. That's what post-Pride is.

C: Yeah.

-

C: So Wes goes into the restaurant alone, and Hope is there. She's the one who fucking wish for Sam to get lightning-struck.

G: Yeah. Her specific wish- her specific wish was "Write this guy out of the story right now!" and then they lightning striked Sam. Like, that was not the volition of the wish. Like, you know what I mean? Like, she didn't wish for the lighting strike. She was just like, "Do whatever you want, powers that be," and the powers that be were like, "Let's do a cartoon-esque fucking lighting strike on this dude," and you know what? It was a good choice. It was funny as fuck. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. It was. She goes, "I had to do it, didn't I? He was gonna make you wish away our love!" G: She had to do it to him.

C: Yeah. She sure did. Meanwhile, Dean's like, "Hey, Todd? I really didn't want to punch a kid, but like, I gotta." And then he tries and like, his hand basically breaks. [laughs]

G: RIP.

C: And then Todd starts choking him out.

Back inside the restaurant, you know, Wes is this going like, "What the fuck? You wished that a man would die?" Also, I love how she just wished for Sam to die, right?

G: She was like, "I hope they die!" and she's so real for that.

C: Right, she said "I hope they die," not specifying, and God was like, "Oh, yes, Sam uses they/them singular pronouns. We'll get them."

G: Yeah, and Dean uses he/him so like, doesn't count.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: You know that one that banner that's like, "Do not suck your-" like, "If your partner is driving, don't suck- don't give her or him oral." And if they were like, "They/them people are safe"? For fucking real. That's what's happening in this scene.

C: Yeah, yeah. The opposite, though.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. And, you know, Hope says, "I love you more than anything!" And she goes like, "More than me, more than life. Please don't hate me." And he hugs her and goes, "It'll be okay. I'll make it okay. It's gonna be okay." And then he slowly, like, reaches down- Her back, is turned to the fountain because of the hug. And he reaches down and takes the coin out. And, you know, Todd releases Dean because he no longer has the power to hold up a grown man. Sam un-dies, good for him.

G: Yay. He literally Lazarus rose.

C: He did! He did Lazarus rise.

G: But it was not relevant to like, the major plot, so it doesn't matter. RIP. Imagine, like, dying and then going back to that, and then everyone's like, "Okay. Who give a shit?"

C: Yeah!

G: That's what happened to Sam right now. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Poor dude. Does he even tell Dean that like, he got murdered?

G: [deepens voice] "I died, bro." Yeah. [C laughs]

C: So Dean has a scene with Todd where he's like, "Oh, don't worry. I'll save you from the bullies forever!" like they're not already scared to death of Todd. So they do like, a little thing-

G: Skit, yeah.

C: - where Dean pretends that Todd, like, beat him to shit, and he's like, "Oh my god, no! Stop beating me up!" And then he tells all the bullies, like, "I wouldn't mess with this kid anymore if I were you," and, like, they all look at Todd really scared. Like, he flipped them over in a car!

G: For fucking real, though

C: This isn't necessary! They're already scared of him! Dean's added nothing. The only point of this scene is for people to go, "Oh my god, Dean's such a nice guy!"

G: [laughing] And it worked on me!

C: It worked on you, Grey, but didn't work on me.

G: It worked on me. Yeah.

C: And we're back in the restaurant. And like, you know, the fucking sad piano music starts playing, and Wes is like, "Hope. Do you remember?" or whatever, and she like, looks at him blankly and goes, "Do I know you?" and like, walks out. And my only feeling was total and complete relief that she doesn't remember.

G: - that she doesn't remember. Exactly. It's also what I felt. Like, oh thank god.

C: Yeah. Thank fucking god. But also like, unless this wipes the memories of everyone in the town like, her parents-

G: Yeah!

C: She'll go home, and her parents will be like-

G: You were engaged to some fuck-all.

C: "Hey, like, what happened to the guy you were engaged to who, like, you did not like at all and then suddenly became engaged to?" Like, she's still going to have a terrible life in like, a day. But at least for now, she can like, live.

G: - ignorantly about this, yeah.

C: Yeah. Like, the camera's all like, focusing on Wes's sad, sad face-

G: And like, I think when he gets out of the restaurant, he's crying.

C: Yeah, and like, the worst, the most annoying thing is that like, he walks over to Sam and Sam's making a face of like, sympathy towards him. Like, Sam's like, "Oh my god, you poor guy..."

G: Who give a shit! [C screams]

C: I- ugh. Ben fucking Edlund! Ugh. Like, maybe the man didn't have to be king. Like, maybe that wasn't even worth it. [G laughs] Like, maybe if he got fired, we would still have good Cas episodes written by somebody else who doesn't hate women. Like, maybe! [groans]

G: Yeah. Anyway.

C: Yeah. And he gives Sam the coin back, so whatever.

G: Yeah.

-

G: Now we're at the pier, and we see Audrey walking with her teddy, and her teddy with the blown out head-

C: Which is tiny-sized now -

G: - her two  parents are sunburned.

C: - but she has, like, a bandage on the back, which is quite cute. I hope she didn't understand what happened to her living teddy bear?

G: Yeah.

C: But like, it left the gun there. So.

G: Yeah. Her parents are back, and they're sunburned to hell and back. Love that.  Dean and Sam are walking, they're just talking about the case, and then Dean goes, "Stop this. Let's talk." And he says that Sam was right and he shouldn't have lied, but he does remember everything from Hell, from the Pit, everything. Sam says, "Tell me about it." And Dean refuses because he won't lie anymore, but he also can't talk about it. And Sam says, like, "You don't have to do this alone. You can have me. You can let me help you." And Dean says, "Nothing is gonna help. This is not just like, 'I had a bad day' situation. It was something that I have no words for, you know. I can't forget," etc etc. "There's no making it better, because it is right here. Forever." And he points to his head. [dramatically] "You wouldn't understand. I could never make you understand. So I am sorry."

C: Give it a season.

G: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, can you believe that like, by the time Season 6 rolls around, both of them have been to Hell an unimaginable length of time?

C: Yeah. Sam got 200 years.

G: And they don't talk about it. They just don't talk about it.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: Love that. Hashtag men.

C: I guess I mean, he was soulless, and then after, he wasn't soulless-

G: They just also never talk about it. Yeah.

C: I mean, I guess being soulless is is one way to get therapy.

G: Yeah. Well, that's it's for the episode. What do you think about it? What's your post-episode thoughts?

C: Oh, I mean, we should mention again that it ends with a Robert Singer zoom on Sam's face.

G: Oh, yeah, zoom! Hell yeah! You know what? This Robert Singer thing- I know we don't like Robert Singer, but the zoom, it's like a treat for me. Every time I see it, I'm like, “Ha. We are watching Supernatural!” It's so fun. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, yeah, we sure are

G: Sure fucking watching fucking Supernatural. What are your thoughts about this episode? You know what? I think this is one of those episodes that we have where it's like, when you watch the episodes, it's like, "Who give a shit?" but discussing it is actually to the benefit of it. Because now that we've discussed it, I'm like, "Oh, that was funnier than I thought it was," or like, "There are more insights that I have than originally after I finished the episode when we didn't talk about it." Because there are some episodes of this show, of our podcast, where I'm like, "This would be a better episode to watch them to hear us talk about." But this one is like, it's better that you listen to this than watch this episode. [laughs] Like, don't watch this episode. Just listen to us! [laughs]

C: Yeah, yeah. You can watch clips of this episode.

G: You can watch the bear bits, yeah.

C: When Dean says, "We are miserable." And also the bear bits.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. I feel like I found it about as funny when I watched it as I find it now, talking about it. Yeah, I don't know. I've said all my thoughts. I hate Ben Edlund, the end.

-

G: Yeah. You know, what's your Best Line/Worst Line?

C: Oh, god.

G: I think my best line is the "Tea party!" line. I thought it was so funny.

C: That was pretty fucking funny.

G: I laughed out loud. It was so fucking funny. Yeah. Like, literally, you're here to do tea parties, Mr. Teddy!

C: Yeah. Yeah.

Do I have a best line? The tea parties were funny. I think I liked when Sam said, like, "Dean, come on, you think I can't see? Like, I'm with you 24/7. I know something's going on." Because I do think that sometimes, Dean does forget that Sam isn't an NPC and it's nice to be like, yeah, they literally are together all the fucking time, and they do understand each other on some level.

Worst line... where to start, man? Let's go with the "You wanted to save some naked women." "Damn right I wanted to save some naked women" line, but there are plenty of others.

G: Yeah. Well, I would say that the naked women line is, for me, that's like, the worst line. But to add to that, I would say, like, the whole, like, [mocking voice] "Good-looking guys like you, [C laughing] you got it so easy because you happen to be handsome!" Like, it's bad on multiple levels. It's bad because, like, the show treats it as like, "That's not true!" but it's also bad because it's a stupid thing to say in the- you know, like, it's bad in every level imaginable.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

-

G:  Spreadsheet. Spread those sheets. Misogyny, I would say-

C: It's definitely there.

G: At least a 2. At least a 2, but maybe a 3.

C: I'd say 3 personally. It has a lot. Poor hope.

G: Racism.

C: Racism, do you remember-

G: No, I don't think it was particularly racist

C: I don't think it was racist. Yeah.

G: Which is a win, because there is an Asian character in this episode, and it's wasn't racist.

C: Yeah. Homophobia, I don't remember any

G: No, yeah, no.

C: Okay, great.

G: Well, there's one where they go like, "These are girl drinks. This teddy- this Bigfoot is stealing girl drinks."

C: That's true.

G: But is that homophobia? I think it is.

C: It could be homophobia.

G: Because the thing about like, gender-related- gender and sexuality-related things are like, they're so intertwined and interconnected. So it like, is misogyny, but I think it also is homophobia, you know?

C: Alright, I'll give it a 1.

G: Yeah, give it a 1.

G: Okay, IMDb. I think this is low. I'll say 8.2.

C: Huh. But like, it's quite funny also.

G: It is quite funny.

C: I'll go a bit higher. I'll say 8.4.

G: Okay, let's see. It's an 8.6! Who, why, when, and where?

C: I mean, it is funny. I laughed. "The teddy bear gets a ten." So real. "Funny, funny, funny." "How did you not give this episode a 10?" Well.

C: Someone said that?

G: Yeah. Because of the issues and problems.

C: This person says, "My favorite scene is with the boys and Wes in the Impala when he tells them they have it easy because they are handsome." [laughs] Okay, well, that's my least favorite scene.

G: Everyone is just saying that the teddy bear is funny. And it is, so, they're right.

C: It is. It is very, very funny.

G: Yeah.

C: This season has way, more like, humor episodes than previous ones, which I didn't expect out of Season 4 at all because I'm just used to Season 4 being like, angel wings aesthetics.

G: Yeah, towards the end it will be in angel wing aesthetic. But anyway, I think that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 9: "I Know What You Did Last Summer"! Yeah!

C: Fuck yeah, baby!

G: Yeah!

C: It's been so long since we've seen Ruby. It's been five whole episodes.

Follow us-

G: No, no, I think we say something else. [both] Leave us a rating. Or a review wherever you get your podcasts. You know what? Sincerely, leave us a review. If you enjoy this podcast, go to fucking Apple Podcasts right now, leave us a-

C: [laughing] Is this just because-

G: What?

C: - of us guesting on a podcast with way more Apple Podcast reviews than us?

G: It may be, [C laughs] but it also may not be. Have you considered that?

C: [laughing] Okay.

G: No, but like, sincerely, though, guys. You know what? If you listen to this episode, and then you listen to this part of the episode, leave us a comment that says- integrate the word- um-

C: [laughing] What? What are we doing? [G laughs]

G: No, like, what is a word that you can integrate into a review? Integrate the word "incessant" into your review, and I'll see the review, and I'll be like, "I know. I know you were here."

C: Okay, why not. Have a promo code specific to this episode.

G: Exactly. That's our promo code.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast-

G: Well, we're barely on Twitter.

C: Yeah, okay. We are supposedly on Twitter-

G: Should we do that? We are supposedly on Twitter, but you know what? We are still there. So follow us!

C: Yeah. And we're on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. And thank you to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi, which we plugged incessantly today.

G: Incessantly! Yeah.

C: At ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod. Also, check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com. G: Yeah. Email us. bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. Why do I keep forgetting how this outro works? But yeah, I mean, that's pretty much it. See you guys next time! [both] Bye! [guitar music]

-

[beep]

G: [singing] I'm a creep... [laughs] I'm a weirdo... [laughs]

-

[beep]

G: Side note, I have learned recently that like, this shower setup is common in houses in the United States. Like, the TV shows, were, in fact, not lying. [laughs]

C: Wait, what did you think was wrong about the shower setup?

G: Like, why is there a door?

C: On the shower?

G: Yeah.

C: To keep the water from getting to like, the rest of the bathroom.

G: I realized that, like, Filipino showers are called "wet showers" or like, "wet bathroom" 'cause like, we don't have that, and when you take a bath the entire bathroom is just wet. [laughs] I love that.

C: Alright, yeah. That's true of most of- like, when I visit my relatives in China, that is true of many of their showers as well.

G: Yeah. Yeah, like, at most, you have a shower curtain, you know? But even that is like, we don't have a shower curtain anywhere in the house. So. Also, I- like, we have a shower. Like, we have a shower head. But I don't use that. I use like, a tub, like a- I don't know the English. A pail? P-A-I-L. And then like, a little dipper, I think it's what it's called. We call it tabo. It's just a little, like, a smaller pail, basically, that you use to get water out of the bigger pail and put it over your body. And I like that better, because, like, I don't have to worry about water pressure that much.

C: Right, right.

G: And it's just like a fucking wave of water washing over you, and it's easier to control. Yeah. That's my showering escapades sharing moment. [both laugh]

C: Thank you for that.

G: For real, though, no, but, you know, there are a lot of things in your life that I feel like people are not aware are a cultural thing. Like, for me, like, I mean, who- how would I know that fucking- like, that's not how people shower, you know?

C: Right, yeah.

G: How would I know? So yeah.

C: Yeah. That's why the Croatia toothpaste tub prank worked so well.

G: What's that? What is that?

C: Oh, like, someone on Tumblr said that in Croatia you buy toothpaste in tubs, and you get like, a little spoon to scrape it out and put it on your toothbrush, and everyone believed them. But like, it was all like, photoshopped images.

G: [laughs] The grift is real, and it's strong. [C laughs] Yeah. So-

-

[beep]

G: Yeah. You ever do a dating website? App? Whatever? I think you did Hinge once. You told me this.

C: I did Hinge once not to get a date, but because I was having a breakdown and I wanted to look at everyone else's profile.

G: Oh, is this the one where you put Cas as your profile? [C laughs] Is this the one?

C: Yeah.

G: Okay, well. Sure is an experience in life that we all have, I'm sure. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. It wasn't catfishing, I stated in my bio that-

G: That was Castiel, yeah.

C: - I was just here to look at other people's profiles to feel better about my life.

G: [laughs] Oh my god, I remember the other day when I asked you, "Last year, you dressed up as Cas for Pride." [C laughing] And you were like, "That was Halloween. Fuck you." God. It truly was Halloween, and I literally thought it was Pride. Yeah. Anyway.

Well, I've been on a couple of dating apps, and I absolutely abhor it, and every time I go back, I'm like, "This is a horrible time." So yeah. We're not the target audience. But maybe the people who will find this guy attractive are people like us who vehemently hate dating apps. Have we considered that?

C: Yeah, I guess that's possible.

G: Yeah. You need to find your audience, dude.

C: Indeed. So-

-

[beep]

G: I have like, a kid in the house. I have a 7-year-old sister. And she doesn't like teddy bears, like, the actual teddy bears. You know what I mean. Like, the fluffy ones. I don't think she likes the bear shape. But she has like, a rabbit and everything. But I'm bringing this up to say that her favorite teddy bear and her only teddy bear that she likes is one that I made, which is so cute, right?

C: Nice. Yeah.

G: It's amazing. Yeah. I knitted her one. And it's amazing. I just want to share this win as an older sibling for me, personally.

C: Yeah. You did win.

G: I did win at being an older sibling, which is, you know what? Normal to want.

C: Something that is normal to want, and is also possible to achieve.

G: That's true.

C: And Dean failed.

G: Dean fails at this so miserably, yeah.

-

[beep]

G: Well, to be fair, I don't think he ever said, like, "I'm bi," like, out loud.

C: Okay. Okay.

G: Or like, on writing.

C: Just expressed a traction to multiple genders.

G: Yeah. And he said before, like, "Oh, I'm a little bit bi." But you know, like, I understand that some people can interpret that as like, oh, like, a straight guy saying, "Oh, I can be a little bit-" you know? But like, he also has a TikTok once where he- where they ask, where somebody asked, like, "Why are you so famous on lesbian TikTok, Hank? You're a straight guy." And he goes like, "First of all, eh." So like, you know.

C: Yeah, yeah.

G: Wow. Go, Hank! You know what? I'm coming out as- Hank "came out," quote-unquote, as bisexual, and I'm coming out of this someone who likes Hank Green. Let's get it on record.

C: I mean, his videos about proteins were helpful for me when I was taking biology.

G: I love the- oh, I thought you were talking about- I don't know why I thought about this, but he has a video about metamucil that I really like, I thought it was so entertaining and funny, where he basically just promotes metamucil.

C: About what?

G: Metamucil is a fiber. It's a fiber supplement. And he's like, "Everyone should take metamucil," and I love that.

C: Was he paid to say that?

G: No, he was not. He was like, "I want metamucil to hire me, but they won't, so I'll just do it myself."

C: Okay.

G: He believes in the power of metamucil. I also specifically- like, one of his videos is called "Your Illness is Not Your Fault," and I've showed it to every single person in my life, I feel like. But it's about like, how- I told you this, right? Have I?

C: Yeah, you have. I feel like it's on a Ko-Fi bonus.

G: We said it in a Ko-Fi bonus? Oh my god.

C: Because we mentioned the green brothers when we were like, talking about books or something on one of our early Ko-Fi bonuses. G: Oh my god, yeah, back when it was like, an hour long and for no fucking reason. Yeah. Anyway, love that video. Go check it out and support your local person with a disability/disorder in your life. Yay!

C: Yay! And that means donating to our Ko-Fi. [G laughs]

G: I mean, I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, but you know.

C: And you are in our listener's lives.

G: Yeah.

C: But- what are we even talking about? Where the fuck are we? Oh, Dean's shitting himself in the motel.

G: He's shitting and pissing and standing over a warm bathtub for fucking real.

C: Yeah.

[booksandabeer]

I’m catching up on all my movie and pop culture podcasts and I’m very amused/baffled by how sincerely surprised—and in a few cases heartbroken—some movie critics are that Babylon absolutely bombed. And…how is anyone surprised by this? People have been talking endlessly for years now about how difficult it is to get people into theatres these days, how even the big franchises (with a few exceptions) are facing diminishing box office returns, how the movie industry overall is struggling to come up with original “content” to get people excited about Cinemah™ again. So. Did anybody really think that what people crave is another three hour long self-indulgent (not to say masturbatory) Damien Chazelle auteur film about the excess, glamor, and depravity of 1920s Hollywood, starring a dude no one’s ever heard of, abusive asshole William Bradley Pitt, and Margot Robbie, who I adore and want only good things for, but whose actual ability to draw box office is, I fear, wildly overrated? I am exactly the target group for this (well, minus the Chazelle and Pitt parts) and even I’m like ‘eh, I guess I’ll watch this at home at some point.’

And I’m not saying they shouldn’t make these types of movies anymore. I desperately want them to continue making these movies and it gives me hope that there are still executives willing to spend $100M on them (although I’m very much questioning if that was really necessary in this specific case). The part I don’t get is why everybody is so shocked that this didn’t do Avatar numbers. And speaking of, that’s another thing I don’t understand—why would they have this movie open against Avatar? Yes, I get it, counter programming, blah blah blah…but come on it was clear that Avatar was going to steamroll everything else. Congratulations, you just doomed your own movie.