#bless your hyperfocus friend

[saturnandthewinter]

I'm high, I have hyperfocus and this motherfucker named Tangerine is now the biggest hyperfocus of mt life now

I just don't know if I should finish this, it's just a draft but I'm serious considering finish a smut for the first time ever

English it's not my first language and lalalas

Tangerine knew that there's no such thing as an easy job, but Jesus Christ nobody ever told him that things could be this fucking difficult.

Lemon warned him. His brother, god bless his good soul, tried to talk his way out of this ridiculous job, but Tangerine didn't listened to him. Maybe he truly was a Gordon after all. And now here he was. Sitting in a ginormous comfortable chair with a fantastic book that he got from your bookcase trying to read while you and Lemon were on the couch talking excitedly about an anime that you convinced him to watch saying that in exchange you would watch all the twenty-four seasons of Thomas the Tank Engine.

He didn't know how much longer he could handle this situation with sanity in his mind, but with how much your brother were paying just for them to keep you safe inside your house he knew he would rather eat his right hand out of his body than mess this up. Even because Lemon, that traitor, was having the time of his life. Every day since the second half of the first week in your house, Lemon says he's grateful for Tangerine accepting the job. The easiest job of their life. And the higher-paying too.

Maybe, just maybe, if Tangerine was a little bit less of a profissional this actually would be the easiest job in his life. A beautiful house in the middle of a forest that looks like a scenario out of the fucking Twilight movie that you made Lemon watch in exchange of that one cartoon with the human and the dog, his brother is happy that he finally got a friend to share his interests, a good payment at the end of every month, not even one day of violence since the beginning of this job and you.

The level of frustration and violence running wild in his body it's not comprehensible right?

Everything was just so perfect...

.

.

.

Except Tangerine wanted to bend you in every surface in sight and fuck you dumb on his cock at every opportunity. It was the first time he tried to resist the impetus to take something that he wanted and maybe Lemon was right and he should have seen a therapist. But you were just so sweet, always concerned about his well-being, always smiling in the morning and making coffee for you and Lemon and tea for him, always offering yourself to moisturize his hair and asking his opinion in everything like the food you cooked or the books he's reading. It would be hard to resist nevertheless.

But again Tangerine was a professional. The fact that your brother were one of the most dangerous mafia eaders of the Eurasia and you used to date his best mate before he got murdered trying to protect you a few years ago sending your brother into a spiral of madness and cruelty was just a detail.

--x--

He could feel his member in his hand, hot, pulsing and begging for relief. Just God knows how much he tried to avoid this from happening because he knows once he let his mind succumb just a little to thought of you he will need more ande more and soon just thinking about you will not enough. But now it's over. His cock was throbbing so much and was desperately needing release. Every goddamn time you made him hard he tried touching himself picturing another woman, but every time it was you that he was imagining you without him even noticing what he was doing. When Tangerine switched back to a another woman he became almost instantly soft. It was driving him to the brink of madness and he couldn't deny himself any longer.

He was so eager to finally give in that he doesn't even know where to begin with. Should he let you take the lead and be the sweet little thing he knows you are and be all soft and smalls kisses before giving in to desire shyly and slowly or should he take the lead and ravish you without mercy making you succumb to him faster and messier?

He definitely wants to go down on you that's for sure, but he couldn't decide between exploring slowly your body anticipating you to when he finally starts to eat you out or going straight to the place the dreamed for almost three months now and devour you until he was satisfied.

"Fucking hell, I need to slow down or I'll come and I didn't even decided exactly how I'm going to take her." Tangerine was getting close to spill himself all over your panties just with the flashes that he was conjuring of you but he hasn't able to decide how to make you his yet. He decided to test himself to see how much control he had over his body in case he needed to be soft and tender with you in case you're stil a virgin and just cum after he was able to conjure both scenarios in his head without touching himself during this process of torture. He needed to prove himself worthy of you and be prepared for all possibilities concerning your well-being.

Tangerine move his hands to his hair, close his eyes and take a deep breath imagining you asking for him to be careful with you "Please, go easy with me okay? I've never did this, not even with Draken? so please be gentle" you would say and he couldn't explain the feeling that bloomed in his chest and made his dick switch uncontrollable.

"Of course, love. Do you feel prepared enough?" he asked while rubbing his cock along your slick pussy making obvious with the lewds sounds that you were more than ready.

"Yes."

"Can I put in?" he answered pressing the tip of his member in your tight opening.

"Yeah. Don't need to have pity okay? Just worry if I say stop, unless keep going" Oh, but how could he not be pitiful of you if you're such a cry baby and he crumble when he see you with tear in your eyes.

"Okay, darling. I'll try my best." Tangerine whispers against your neck, his hot breath making you shiver, before pressing his tip further into you making you suck a little breath.

You put your arms in his shoulders looking down mesmerized by the scene of finally having Tangerine filling you.

At that thought his cock throbbed so violently he instantly knew that if he needed to be more a little more alert otherwise he would cun before imagining you getting fucked dumb.

Tangerine is trying to calm himself after being carried away for too long taking deep breaths. You will be the death of him, he's sure. Your pussy will be his reason to come back after every job in one piece. He just knew that.

--x--

You wake up the next morning feeling throughly fucked feeling you body running hot. You have a few flashes of you dream with Tangerine and you are actually on the verge of tears realizing that it was just a dream just like Bella in Breaking Dawn. In the only day you don't touch yourself to the thought of him it's the day that your brain reminds you of what you shouldn't try to ignore.

Maybe if you didn't manifested your life in your early teens wishing a life like Twilight and other book series your life wouldn't be such a mess right now and even with all the disasters in the history, the romance plot was the one consuming you the most.

Speaking of manifestation, you did asked for a sign that the spell you used of that old book with hand-written spells worked. And since you don't believe in coincidences there must be a connection between this things no? Maybe you should ask for a clearer sign.

[bonesandthebees]

hey. it’s been a while :) not sure if you remember me but i just wanted to pop by and say that i will forever cherish your writing. your fics gave me a lot of comfort through a very dark time of mine, and reading about the silly fictional brothers made me feel a lot more excited and joyful in a world where i felt very lonely.

whenever i would read your stories, i couldn’t contain my very very dramatically fun reactions that i would say out loud to myself in my room (jumping up and down, screaming, crying, gasping, monologuing to myself, etc). i read so many different AUs and oneshots of yours and i couldn’t get enough! your work is so wonderful and i am AMAZED and how you can create such high-quality writing in a surprisingly short timeframe.

i loved clinic so much that i entered a 30 hour state of hyperfocus where i COULD. NOT. put it down. ruined my sleep schedule but it was so worth it!! and then i read it all again 2 days later. and then i read it AGAIN out loud to my friend over discord so he could enjoy it too :) i recommended world forgetting to a friend and it destroyed her (/pos). i kept recommending all of my friends your fics because they were all so wonderfully entertaining and had a level of quality that was hard to find elsewhere.

i loved clinic, world forgetting, stars, 17 hours, the vampire au, the mermaid au, and starman (?) (the horror one with the giant eye) and i’m sure there’s plenty more that are slipping my mind.

i’m currently in a place where i cannot decide if i’m even able to separate a content creator from his character. even the characters have been soured for me and it’ll be very tough to separate them. i hope i can, because they brought me so much joy in the past, and so did your writing :)

over the past year and a half or so i’ve been so lucky to be blessed with an absolutely wonderful girlfriend that i love very much, and i feel a lot less lonely and a lot more lighter. i’m more active in the real world and i’m doing more things that i love. because of this i’ve distanced from dsmp and unfortunately haven’t had enough time to fully understand qsmp (which is a shame because i love quackity and have been watching him quite literally since 2013 and he is very dear to me). but!! i still rant and rave about your stories to my girlfriend and i even got her to read clinic :)

ANYWAY… very long ramble hahah but all of this is to say that your work was very important in my life and even if i’m going to distance myself from this fandom, i will always love and cherish your writing!!! thank you for your labor of love and i won’t be forgetting about you anytime soon!!

i hope you’re doing well. take care of yourself!! have your favorite cookie!! sending hugs! <3

and ps, the scene where siren has his identity revealed is still one of my fav scenes in writing EVER and i still think about how beautifully tragic it was <3 i think about it a lot. u made me cry for like 45 minutes how dare youuuuuu hahah

I hope you know before I even read this ask I saw the url and immediately went "oh my god lostmellohi it's been so long I've missed them!!!" so, don't worry, I remember you very well and I'm so happy to see you here again!

it makes me so happy to hear how much you've enjoyed my writing over the years. hearing stuff like that only makes me more confident in my decision to not take down any of my stuff regardless of recent events. I never want to take away something of mine that has given you and others that much joy. these stories are mine first and foremost, but as readers they're yours too. they've given you so much enjoyment over the years and that can never be taken away from you.

I totally understand what you mean about being unsure if you'll be able to separate the cc and the character in the future. it's not an easy thing and right now I get the urge to wince every time I read wilbur's name, even if it's in the context of c!wilbur and/or a fic. I believe it'll get easier for all of us with time, so don't worry about it too much right now. it's only been a week since shelby's stream happened. feelings will settle.

congrats on the girlfriend!! I hope she enjoyed clinic lol. I'm so happy you've been doing better though and have been able to do more things that you love. enjoy that kind of stuff whenever you can. qsmp isn't going anywhere and you'll always be able to catch up whenever you have time.

thank you for this it genuinely made me so happy to read. wishing you the best for things in the future and I hope you take care of yourself <33

also, yeah, whenever I think back on the siren identity reveal I'm like damn I did pull that off really well huh. lmao so glad you enjoyed :)

[unfriendlyamazon]

#sorry I shortchanged Jou's abandonment issues because you're both right#that rejection of not being given the time of day has to hurt and open old wounds#which can be a blessing and a curse#because he's probably always suspected he wasn't worth the effort and this is confirmation#but it's a familiar feeling he may be resigned to#a loneliness that feels like an old friend at this point

at risk of taking over luxie's post entirely i'm going to use @alectoperdita's tags as a jumping off point because i looooooove to talk about jou's abandonment issues let's get into it

abused and abandoned by both his parents (the brief bit we get with joey's mom in the anime and how weird it is between them is chef's kiss for me), ripped away from his sister at a young age when they clearly have a close bond, falling into gangs and only having friends and relationships interested in what he can do for them (besides tristan don't discount him in this scenario but we don't have time for all of that) while being fiercely loyal and giving his all to people for showing him a scrap of affection (he jumps into the ocean for yugi in duelist kingdom to get a bunch of playing cards because he knows how important they are)

and then let's assume joey and kaiba start getting together however you want it to happen we play it fast and loose here and he's standing next to a BILLIONAIRE who WANTS FOR NOTHING who literally invents holograms so he can hang out with his favorite dragons who JETS OFF (literally) at the drop of a hat and can DISAPPEAR for days or weeks depending on his mood and definitely can be sucked into his projects thanks to his tendency to hyperfocus (it's the autism)

joey's gonna temper those expectations he's learned people can leave you in a heartbeat whether they want to or not and kaiba could walk out in a second without missing a thing and it's so much easier to not get your hopes up don't say dating don't use the world boyfriend don't tell him how you really feel because what's that going to do? make him walk out faster? what can he offer him anyway?

(which of course what jou doesn't realize is seto kaiba has spent his whole life having people want things from him expect things from him he's only gotten this far based on what he could do for others and it's his backstory that he burned all those bridges once he got enough power to and what he likes what he doesn't expect and what keeps him coming back is jou doesn't want anything from him, his affection is 100% genuine with no hidden caveats, and he doesn't need to offer him anything, because he's already given him everything just by treating him like a person)

[camille-lachenille]

Day 10 of All of Arda is Autistic:

Prompt: flirting/umbrella

Rating: Gen

Faramir/Éowyn

From Peregrin Took of the Shire, Knight of Gondor,

to Lord Faramir, Steward of Gondor and Prince of Ithilien and Lady Éowyn, Shieldmaiden of Rohan and Princess of Ithilien

My dear friends,

It is with much joy that I learned of your wedding and subsequent move to the fair land of Ithilien. I wish you all the happiness in Middle-Earth in your life together. And it only seemed adequate to send you gifts of congratulation for the happy event. So, I hereby offer you, in the finest tradition of the Shire, and umbrella so my may walk together even in rainy days. I had it made specially for you in Bree, and the merchant assured me it was large enough to shelter two Big People.

Merry, who is reading over my shoulder, reminds me to tell you that walks under a light Spring shower are considered highly romantic activities in the Shire, and it falls to the gentleman to hold the umbrella for his ladylove. I do not know if it rains often so far south, but the umbrella is also efficient to protect against the harsh sun, just in case.

The other gift is a sample of flowers seeds (Sam selected them), and it is tradition in the Shire for newlyweds to plant a flourishing garden in their new home as a blessing for a large and prosperous family.

Frodo and Sam send their congratulations, and if you received this letter, you certainly have Merry’s one.

Friendly yours,

Pippin

PS: I hope I got the titles right, this is a very confusing business.

Once the reading done, Faramir set the letter aside, smiling so much his face hurt. Éowyn was smiling too, but her whole attention was turned on this ‘umbrella’ contraption as she opened and closed it again and again. “Umbrella, umbrella, umbrella…” she repeated gleefully, her face lit with happiness. Faramir felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of his wife (his wife!) so free in her demonstration of sheer joy and excitement at a new object.

The umbrella was a fascinating contraption: closed, it looked like a cane wrapped in thin, colourful oilskin, and it had a mechanism that allowed it to open in a little dome just large enough for both Faramir and Éowyn to squeeze under, as Pippin had promised in his letter. And, once open, the umbrella revealed the alternance of white and green triangles of oilskin, the green parts marked with a horse and the white with a half moon and a flower, the coat of arms of Ithilien.

“Pippin also sent diagrams and instructions to repair or replicate the umbrella,” Faramir said, almost bouncing on his toes from the anticipation of studying them in great detail.

Éowyn glanced up at him and her smile was blinding. “Can we first try the umbrella? It looks like it may rain, later.” Well, it was as good as any other occasion to have a walk with his wife. Faramir agreed happily and they set out almost at once.

As it turned out, it rained this afternoon. It also turned out that a Shire umbrella could offered little shelter from the infrequent but abundant summer downpours of Ithilien. So, it was a soaked through pair that returned to the newly built house, but neither Faramir nor Éowyn could care less. And it even became a sort of a tradition for the Lady and Lord of Ithilien to go out for walks in the rain with their strange umbrella, much to the fond amusement of their people.

Yay, I am already behind with the prompts! But I struggled to come up with an idea for this one. And then I was so exhausted after the Easter preparation and celebration that I couldn’t write a single word. I intended to write yesterday, but I got into Sewing Hyperfocus and, after five hours straight of sewing, I couldn’t align a straight thought, much less write anything coherent.

[rindecision]

Tagged by: @storiesbyrhi 🤍 Thanks for the love!

Tea or Coffee?

That's a toughie. I've worked at both tea and coffee shops so I have a love for both honestly. If I had to choose only one, I'd go with tea. There's such a larger variety.

Cats or Dogs?

Cats always cats. I've always understood them better than people.

Can you play an Instrument?

Played flute in high school haven't touched it since

What's your sign?

Sagittarius

Favorite lyrics that pop into your head?

Depends on my mood, but the first ones that come to mind atm are "Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire"(Fuel by Metallica) probably because I have a Steddie fic by that name.

Do you have Tattoos?

Nope. Love them on others though.

Favorite place you've ever traveled?

Haven't travelled outside of the USA but my favorite place I've ever been to is a small, I mean small ass town in Minnesota called Grand Marais. Hands down the best place I've ever been and hope to live near there someday.

What's the last movie you watched?

Uhhh. Hmm, I don't watch much for movies. Shows are more my thing. The Last of Us was the last show I watched, but Movie.... I tried to watch M3gan, but lost interest and I passively watched Superhero Movie (2007) when my partners were watching it.

What languages do you speak?

Only English really. Took Spanish in high school, didn't retain much. Tried learning French, Japanese, and ASL, but was unable to focus long enough to actually learn it.

Do you have any hobbies?

Thanks to ADHD I have many and it can be like Roulette wheel on what my hobby of the day is. Currently my hyperfocus is Steddie and writing fics about them... mainly 18+. Those dinguses have had me in a headlock since August.

You can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose?

Eddie Munson. I know he's a popular one, but seriously he is the friend I wanted in high school and absolutely would have been a crush of mine.

Compliment yourself:

Ugh, these are hard. Um... I'm stupid introspective and have an elevated self awareness that even professionals are baffled by. It's a blessing and a curse. I personally like it, but being emotionally aware makes it so you can contain your emotions in a healthy way, but when you don't display those emotions in a way neurotypicals can see, they think you're lying. So while I like that I am and am proud of myself for working my ass off to get where I am, it sucks when people don't take me at my word when I explain what I'm feeling.

No pressure tags:

@xirayn @trans-alpha-male @bubblebeardraws @fancybilliepipersir @vampymunson @pumpkinspicestevie

[momentsbeforemass]

Faith or works?

“You can’t earn your way into heaven.” On my way into the Catholic Church (I’m a convert), this was one of the objections my Protestant friends raised. It’s grounded in the classic (misguided) idea that for Catholics your relationship with God is all about doing things (works of mercy, certain prayers, etc.) with little or no actual personal connection or faith. It’s usually followed up by an assertion that salvation is a gift from God (that part is true). The point being that (as they saw it) the supposed hyperfocus on “works” in the Catholic Church was unnecessary at best. At worst, it was a distraction or even an obstacle to faith. Were my friends right? That there’s a conflict between faith and works, and in that conflict the Catholic Church has it wrong? Actually, the Catholic Church isn’t focused on works to the detriment of faith. More importantly, there is no conflict between faith and works. Sadly, this is one of the classic ways that Christians mess things up. And end up turning Christianity into something it was never meant to be. Here’s what I mean: With the best of intentions, people try to make the Faith simpler and easier – by taking one positive good (like faith) and putting it above all other positive goods. With the idea that if they do this one thing well, then everything else will work itself out. It’s a very understandable impulse, because the Faith is complex and nuanced (just like life, just like people). But in the long run, hyper-focusing on one positive good almost always ends up putting it in conflict with other positive goods (like works). BTW, this same sort of thinking is the source of the (very not Catholic) manufactured conflict between faith and reason. Back to faith and works. Against the “faith alone” perspective, St. James pushes back hard in today’s first reading when he says, “faith without works is dead.” If that’s true, then what is the relationship of faith and works? Pope Leo the Great put it simply, “while faith provides the basis for the works, the strength of faith comes out only in works.” Faith alone is not enough. Not because you or I have to earn God’s love (hint – we can’t earn it, it’s freely given by God). But because works are the unavoidable result of a living faith. Here’s what I mean. My mother owns some woods that have a small creek running through them. One day, I decided to walk up the creek to find its source. I eventually found the place where it comes up out of the ground. I put my foot over the spot, and for a moment the water stopped flowing. With no new water coming in, I could see the bottom of the creek start to emerge as the water drained away. And then it started to fill back up. I looked back and saw water welling up around my foot and starting to flow again. The living spring that fed the creek was more than a match for my feeble attempt to disrupt it. That is the relationship between faith and works that Leo the Great is talking about. That is, if you have a living faith, works will well up out of you. Like me trying to block the flow of the spring, you will not be able to prevent yourself from living out your faith through corporal and spiritual works of mercy. Just as the water in the creek points to the living spring, our works point to the living faith in us. It’s not faith or works. It’s faith and works. May God bless you richly with both. Today’s Readings

[expectos-writings]

Deadlines (Norman Osborn x F!reader)

Word count: 2254

Rating: M (Smuttt)

Summary:  You were working late to finish a paper. Your boyfriend Norman comes home late to find you still working, and decides to help you with some motivation

(A/n: Spider man villains have my heart okay)

You threw your head back in pure frustration. You had a deadline tomorrow and lo and behold, you had once again procrastinated until the last moment. It is currently 1.30 am and you were alone in the house of your boyfriend. It felt weird to call him that though, seeing as he is much older than you, but that is what your relationship was now.

 You had met Norman Osborn through his son, who was your classmate. You two weren’t particularly friends, but you and Peter were. So, one night, Norman threw a big party and had invited Peter, whom he saw as a second son. Peter took you as his plus one. You normally weren’t one for make-up but that night you had made an exception, wanting to show off your best side.

Apparently, it worked, because you had caught the attention of Norman himself. As he saw you walk in, your arm linked in Peters, he knew he was a goner. He fell head over heels for you. He didn’t mind you not being very good at science, your own study interested him more than enough.

After that you started to hang around at the Osborn mansion more often, just chilling with Harry and doing your homework together in comfortable silence. Until your relationship with his dad bloomed into more. Harry found it awkward to be around you now, which was okay, and you were more often than not found upstairs. Either you were working in Normans office while he was out, or you were at school, keeping the interactions between you and Harry short.

 The two of you hadn’t made your relationship public yet, but you weren’t hiding it either. So long as no one knew, you could fool around and keep things as private as possible. But if someone did find out? So be it.

 That leads to where you are now. Sitting propped up against the headboard of Normans king sized bed. You were going to sleep earlier, but this gnawing feeling in your brain wouldn’t let you rest. You had to work on this paper now, it was already last minute. You grabbed your laptop and divided the paper into sections. Then you found sources and started to type away. Now it was an hour later, and you were about 75% done. God bless hyperfocus.

 Norman still hadn’t come home yet. This happened quite frequently, especially when he was finishing up a new project. It got him so excited he could not let it rest until he was done, and he often lost track of time because of this. But by 2 am you had finished up the body of your paper and now you only had the conclusion to write. The deadline was 10 am, so sleep was not an option now. You had to hand it in before you hit the hay.

 You were so focussed on one of the papers you used as a source you hadn’t noticed the front door opening, nor Norman walking upstairs. It was only when he opened the door to the bedroom you jumped up.

 ‘Holy shit!’ you say, trying to calm your heartbeat, you’d be the worst guard dog ever.

 ‘Relax darling it’s just me.’ He smiles, taking off his shous before sitting next to you on the bed. He pulls the covers over his legs as well, and you feel his pants brush against your bare leg. He looks at your screen.

 ‘’Greek cosmology and worldview in the Hellenistic period’, that’s why your still up huh.’ He reads. You two have been together for almost a year now, and he knew exactly what was going on. That you had once again procrastinated a paper and were now working till late to finish it in time. But Norman is a supportive boyfriend, and he has his strategies to keep you going.

 As you were originally going to sleep and go on in the morning, you had already changed into your sleeping clothes, meaning panties and an oversized shirt. You were sitting with your legs crossed when you felt one of his hands slip under the blankets and onto your thigh. You knew exactly what he was doing. He squeezed your leg softly and you took in a sharp breath, never taking your eyes off your laptop screen.

 ‘Very good, dear.’ He says, moving in closer putting his arm around you while the other was placed on your leg. He was sitting with his shoulder behind you, his chin resting on your shoulder. ‘What do you still have to do before this is finished?’ he asked in your ear. Of course, he knew the structure of an essay, but when it came to such abstract historical concepts he was as good as useless.

 ‘Just a small conclusion.’ You say. At this you feel his hand move higher on your leg, towards your panties. His fingers brush the inside of your thigh. You let out a small hum of approval, wanting nothing more than to just melt into your boyfriends arms. But Norman was set on having you finish your work first. And from previous occasion you knew that if you try to make him touch you, he will just withdraw until you continue your work again.

 You scroll back through your writings, re-reading the first of the three sub-points and making a mental note of a way to summarize this part. You scrolled back down to the bottom of the document and started typing away, placing brackets where you still needed to place references. Norman knew your way of writing and had already made a plan.

 You scrolled back up once more to get the references you needed, and copy pasted them into your conclusion below. One down, two to go. As you scroll back up you feel Norman shift behind you. Thanking he in not sitting comfortably you moved up a bit, giving him space to move. That was just what he wanted. You were sitting upright waiting for Norman to move and get comfortable, but instead his hand moved to the hem of your nightshirt, taking it off. You let him, moving your arms to help him.

 ‘You have no idea how much I love this sight.’ Norman says with a wide smile. You were just in your panties, laptop still in your lap but your eyes were now on the man next to you instead. ‘You know, Norman, I could really use a break right now.’ You sigh, your hands moving on his leg now. You turned to kiss him, and he let you. You put your hand on his face as he put his hand on your side, slowly moving towards your breast. You moan in his mouth as he tugs your niggle lightly, then flicking it. You whimper and drop your head against his, your foreheads touching. Then you reconnected your lips. You were about to set your laptop to the side, but then you felt his hand on your arm, keeping it in place.

 ‘Breaks over, sweetheart.’ He says with a grin. You groan in frustration.

 ‘Are you serious?’ You ask, lightly irritated.

 ‘You have to make your deadline first, Y/n, then we can see about a reward.’ He winks at you.

 You blush, take a deep breath and turn back to your essay. You repeated the process from before, scrolling back, reading, writing, then references. The second summary was done before you knew it. Only one left. Normans hand was back on your thigh again now. The temptation to just throw your laptop across the room and give into your desires was there, but you knew that would not help with any of this.

 You scrolled back up one last time, repeating your routine once again. Reading, but you felt Norman brush your hair out of your neck before attaching his lips to it, knowing exactly where to suck and bite to make you go wild. Your breathing picked up and you scrolled back down, writing what you still knew. You were lucky you had only just written it in the first place. when you scrolled back up you felt Norman suck a hickey into your neck, and it made you moan. Your eyes closed, you couldn’t focus anymore with him behind you like this. He moved his lips to your ear.

 ‘C’mon sweet girl, I know you can do it.’ He said in encouragement before turning back to where he left off. As did you. You were so turned on, and almost done. Just a few more references and…

 The moment you copied the references you needed and scrolled back down, his hand moved up your leg to you panties, touching your clothed core through them, teasing you. Moving up and down, the dampness in your panties not going unnoticed. You moan out in surprise. You were just about to buck your hips when his hand moved away.

 ‘Fuck, Norman!’ you scold him, getting really frustrated now.

 Your frustration just makes him chuckle. ‘Finish these references first.’

 You don’t need to be told twice. You quickly paste and move the references into correct position. Then you saved the document, opened your mail and dived immediately into your drafts, to mail to your teacher was already set up. You attached the document and send it. You almost threw your laptop onto the ground as you moved to straddle Norman. Kissing him deeply and not wasting a moment before grinding down onto his thigh.

 You moved up and down his thigh, dampening his pants through your now ruined panties. But you didn’t care, and neither did he. He moved his hands to your hips, guiding you to keep moving. You broke the kiss as the need for air became too much. You moaned out. Norman had been working late for the past few days, leaving you with almost no time together. Now he was here with you, you started to feel just how much you had missed him.

 His hands moved to your breasts, touching then roughly. You moaned even more at this. Then you moved his hands back down to your waist. Giving you the room to loosen the buttons of his work shirt and taking it off of him. Your nails scratched his chest as you moved your hand down to his trousers. Norman growled at the feeling of your hands unbuckling his trousers and your hands slipping into his boxers to pull out his throbbing dick.

 Feeling him so hard because of you made you get even wetter, juices coating the insides of your thigh, even dripping through Normans trousers onto his leg. His breathing was heavy. He took his hand away from your breast, moving it down just like you had, before pushing it into your panties. His long fingers stroking through your folds as your movements stilled. Your hand around his member started pumping, spreading his pre-cum onto his shaft.

 Norman pushed his fingers through your folds and moved them inside you, pushing them in and out occasionally curling them. Your legs started to shake as you hovered over him. Your breath came out shaky as you feel pressure start to build low in your belly. Norman was also getting closer, you noticed the way his breath hitched and the movement of his fingers became more and more irregular and more rushed.

 You feel his body stiffen underneath you, trying to hold back for you, pushing his thumb to brush over your clit making you jolt forward.

 ‘That’s it baby girl, cum for me now.’ He growled in your ear, your head resting in his shoulder as you tried to focus on your hand movement. You pump him harder as you feel jolts of pleasure crash over you. Your body became hot, and your legs were giving out. Norman pulled his fingers out of you, continuing to rub your clit, now with his fingers. You came on his hand, riding out your high while grinding down on his fingers. You moan his name over and over again. The sight of you moaning for him and grinding on his fingers, still pumping him somewhat shaky, was enough to make him lose it too. He cums all over your thighs, some of it dripping down onto the sheets.

 When you both rode out your orgasms you fell forward onto his chest, your head on his shoulder as you try to calm your breathing. He wraps his arms around you, doing the same. You sat there for a moment, just hugging each other. Then one of his hands moved to the bedside table to pull out a tissue to clean you up, throwing it into the bin when he was satisfied with his work.

 Your eyelids were getting heavy, it was 3 am by now. You moved to your side of the bed, getting cosy under the covers while Norman stood up from bed, taking off his trousers before joining you back in bed. You lay on your back, eyes closed, feeling completely satisfied. The light on the bedside table turned off and you feel a strong arm wrap around your waist. Norman was snuggling into your side as the long work hours of the past day weighed down on him.

 With no early deadline the next morning and Norman having a late shift again, you both slept in late the next day. You only awoke when the sun was already bright in the sky, still snuggled up in each others’ arms.

[vampyalyssa]

Permanently Marked (Loki x Reader)

Part 1 - Inked (3 part series) 

Part 2 Here

Part 3 Here

TW: smut, language, witchcraft

Summary: you’re a norse pagan who worships the trickster god Loki. One day, when stargazing you have a mental breakdown and summon him. To your surprise he appears. 

Wordcount: 3k 

I’m not addicted, I promise. It’s only a few, I promise. I know these empty promises are no use, I could easily be addicted. Everyone warned me about this. Well, some warned me. Others said it  almost encouragingly, promising me that I would love it. Encouraging me to join their addiction, their hobby, their aesthetic, their lifestyle. And I do love it. I love them. The way they look. The way they make me feel. They way they make me hurt. 

“You’re doing really well, I’m almost done,” Micheal said. 

I couldn’t even feel the needle. Well the needles. The rhythmic movements lulled me and distracted me from the pain. It helps that it wasn’t large and was over fairly fast. 

It’s my third tattoo. Probably the only one with an almost religious (more like entirely) meaning. I’m getting a symbol to represent Loki, the Norse God, on my thigh. 

“All done,” Michael said. 

I looked down to see it. The ultimate sign of worship and respect to the god. More so than I may even realize now if things go my way. 

“Thank you so much, I love it!” I exclaim. Michael cleans it up and puts a clean layer of cling wrap around it. “I am so lucky to have the best tattoo artist in the world!” 

“I am so lucky to have the best client in the world. Let me know if you have any more gnarly ideas y/n.” I pay for the tattoo and tip him handsomely, he deserves it.

It’s a good thing that I got this in the summer because I am going to want to show this off forever and ever. I may even have the confidence to rock a swimsuit and short dress to show this and my other beautiful tattoo’s off. Maybe it will help me get the attention that I crave.

When I leave the tattoo parlor, I decide to call a few friends up to see if they want to hang out. I want to show off my tattoo and discuss a few practice things. Modern witchcraft is broad, some use it to just talk about the aesthetic, other’s are actual pagans worshipping various gods, other’s just vibe with rocks and the stars. Magic exists in this world even outside of the avengers, aliens, and those born with telekinesis. We witches focus on the magic within nature, the energy of the universe, and manifesting what we want from life. We focus on worshipping the gods, be it those from Asgard, the God and Goddess embodiment of nature, or our ancestors within the spirit realm, to bless us with their more powerful magic. 

I have two really close friends in the pagan community, Dahlia is a naturalist,and Helios is hellenistic. He worships the God’s that the Greek’s believed in. I mean if the Norse’s got it right, then they could have as well. Even though we all three are Pagan, our friendship is much more based around our mutual love for animals and video games.

However, right now they are busy, kept up by school and work and needy parents. So I must return home alone. I’m disappointed that I couldn’t show my tattoo off immediately but relieved at the same time, for no particular reason, I am simply just an introvert.

I take care of my animals and go about my day, by the time I am finished it is almost dark out and time to wash my tattoo. I draw a bath, dropping rose petals and other safe flowers within. I bring out two candles, green and gold, and set them amongst  a safe spot along the side of the bath. I undress, get in, and safely light the candles. 

As I am washing, I hyperfocus on gently rubbing my soapy fingers along my new tattoo. Unknowingly, I began softly whispering a chant repeatedly. I’m not sure that I even know what language I am speaking but the words come naturally. 

Eventually I get out of the tub, dry off, and put my nightgown on. I have a strong urge to stargaze tonight. I live in a small house outside of the city. The pollution still affects the stars but within walking distance is a tall hill, the perfect clearing for stargazing. I bring nothing but a blanket, my phone, and myself within my short nightgown. 

I feel so many emotions from just laying there, eyes staring into the sky. I have felt so lost lately. My purpose is unknown. I swear I live in nothing but fantasies. What do I do with my life? I begin to talk to the god whomst I have never met but feel a connection to. 

“I know that you Asgardians are not exactly who I read about in my mythology books. And I know that people here and there may villainize you. But I also know that you are not an evil god, and that you bring necessity to the realms. I wish for you to know me. To know that I follow you. And to appreciate me for my dedicationt.” 

I hesitate at what I am compelled to say next, danger could ensue, but the words slip out nonetheless. 

“Show me yourself Loki. Visit me. Be it in spirit or in person. Take my body or my soul if you must. Lead me” 

I was taken aback by a sudden burst of light...The bi-frost. And all too suddenly he was there. 

And all too suddenly was I standing too close to the God that I just announced my want for. 

Honestly, I didn’t think that I could actually summon a God. Or that he could actually hear me.

Well, I was standing, he landed on the ground. I quickly made my way to him and attempted to help him up.At first he recoiled from my touch but stopped when he looked up at me. There’s no way that he could know who I am, I just look like a trusting person I suppose. He grimaced as I helped him up. To spare my own feelings I took that as him being in pain and nothing personal.

“Thank you for your help mortal, now I must be going” he said, dusting himself off. He began to walk away. 

I would have had trouble letting him leave so quickly even if he wasn’t injured. It was the god I worshipped before me. But I saw him grimace in pain when he took a step and had to stop him. 

“I- Loki! Wait” 

He spun around quickly as I caught up to him and grabbed his arm, flinching as he did so. He looked as if he was going to say something angry but I could have sworn that I saw his eyes soften as they met mine. 

“So you know my name, who I am. Good for you but I must be going” he exclaimed but he was limping worse now. 

“I don’t think you are going anywhere like that… let me help you” I grabbed his arm again, forcing him to put some of his weight onto me.

“How are you...a midgardian….going to help me?” he questioned, looking down at me. His tone was full of sass yet his eyes and body were already a lot softer than they were at his initial arrival, but not nearly enough . 

“I know you are a god but trust me. My house is right there, let me at least get you something to drink to bring your strength back.” 

“I am not interested in possibly being poisoned, thank you” 

The constant pulling on each other’s arms led to us both tumbling down the hill. At the end of the hill I laid feeling his weight atop me. 

“Now look what you've done,” he exclaimed, pulling back from my body a bit. I looked up to meet his eyes but they only met mine briefly and then roamed down my body “Oh, well look what we have here” 

His voice was low and sultry, amused. I looked down to see that in our tumble my dress has risen to expose my most recent tattoo. 

“Maybe….” he licked his lips as his eyes ran over my body as they moved back up to meet my eyes again “I can trust you.” 

It was difficult to form words when I was this close to him. I know I must respond though. 

“Yes sir….you can….I promise I’m not obsessed though” 

The last part of the sentence caused him to laugh. 

“If that was true then why get my symbol permanently marked on your body, darling?” he leaned down to whisper the last part of the sentence in my ear. My breathing hitched both at the words and the feelings he brought me. I couldn’t respond. He sat back to balance on his knees above me. His eyes taking in all of me, his hands trailing down from the side of my face to the symbol on my thigh. “Tell me….do you worship me?” 

“Yes my king” I said, well  more like breathlessly moaned out, while closing both my eyes and my thighs at my arousal. 

He chuckled again and stood up, a grimace and pain in his eyes as he did so. “I would love to keep this going darling but I am in more pain every second so maybe we can continue back at your place.”

“Yes sir, I’m sorry” I stood up to pull my nightgown back down. To my surprise he took my hand in his 

“Nothing to apologize for”

We walked back to my house, and I sat him down on my couch. 

“Do you have any wounds?” 

“Nothing too deep to worry about darling” 

“I will make you some tea and get you a blanket”  

In the kitchen I focused really hard on using the right herbs to heal Loki. I think ginger would be really useful right now.

Oh fuck, I hope he doesn’t get too nosey while I’m doing this. There’s a lot of things that could embarrass me if he found.

I said a little healing and protection spell over the sweet mixture of honey, ginger, and cinnamon tea that I put into a dark green mug. It’s the small things that matter. 

“I made you tea with lots of good stuff for the body” I exclaimed walking back into the living room. 

I almost dropped the fucking mug at what I saw. Loki was now shirtless, and pantless, on my couch reading a book. A book about himself. Literally reading “Loki” by Degulf Lopston.

“You have a lot of interesting books here y/n” he said, smirking, not even looking up from the book. 

Now I was focused on his body. Even underneath the bruises and cuts I could tell how perfect his torso was. I want to feel every single hill and indentation on his chest and stomach beneath my hands. And below that, his muscular thighs, I want to feel on either side of my body. And even from across the living room with him sitting down and unstimulated I can see the bulge under the light fabric of his underwear. 

“See something you like?” I look back up to his face to see that most beautiful smirk again. 

Oh, fuck it, theres nothing to hide now

“Honestly, yeah” I crossed the room “now drink your tea and relax, handsome” 

“Only if you sit next to me and explain that little tattoo of yours, and this book, oh and judging by that altar I know it’s a bit more than aesthetics, beautiful”

~ The god that I worship thinks I’m beautiful ~

 Well, there is only one way to say this. 

“I worship you Loki” I said sitting next to him, avoiding eye contact out of embarrassment. 

His hand came to my cheek lifting my head up to meet his eyes. “I know,” he said, “I know who you are y/n, I just wanted to hear you say it, my most loyal and beloved follower.” He gave me a kiss on the forehead and returned to sipping the tea I gave him.

 I never even told him my name. I am both shocked, embarrassed, and beyond happy. My craft, my practice, none of it was ever in vain. 

“No darling, it was not” he responded. Giving me an oh so sexy wink as I looked in shock at him upon the news he could read my mind. 

“This must be why the bi-frost brought me to you. I needed to be somewhere safe, with someone that I could trust. How can I repay you for your kindness?” 

We were really close now. I subconsciously sat close to him to begin with, but between that forehead kiss and everything he has only scooted closer. My bare thighs were touching his. I swear my tattoo tingled being so close to it’s inspiration. 

“I, there’s no need, the honor of being able to help you is enough.” 

The book and tea both resting on the coffee table now. He brought his face close to mine again. 

“Tell me darling, do you think about me at night?” His body was so close to mine now, I wanted nothing more than to feel it on top of me again without his clothes on. 

He chuckled, “I can arrange that love,but maybe we should wait until I am back in full health tomorrow so I can do it properly” 

oh fuck, not the mind reading again. 

“I do think about you at night, Loki. I think about you all the time. I live to please you. I want you to be proud of me and bless me properly.” 

He seemed both happy and angry at my statement. 

“Your words mean so much to me y/n. I am so grateful to have you as a follower, but please live your own life.” 

And now we were making out. Our hands in each other's hair. I moved my hand from his hair to his torso and further and further down. The way that I have always wanted. 

He began to push me back on the couch but I resisted. “Don’t hurt yourself. Let me show you how much I worship you.” 

He growled but relinquished some of his control. I brought my hand down from his abbs to the growing bulge in his boxers. 

He moaned in my ear. “Come on y/n, please me the way that you’ve always wanted.” 

His underwear was gone in a green flash and suddenly I had a naked god before me. The naked god that I worshipped. I don’t think that I have ever wanted anything more. 

And my hand was around the base of his perfectly sculpted cock and he was moaning in my ear. As I stroked him up and down he proceeded to encourage me. 

“You’re doing so good, babygirl, I couldn’t ask for a better follower” 

The term babygirl made me so wet, and I realized that I wanted to taste him. Moving from the couch to the floor, I was quite literally kneeling before my god.

I kept my hand around the base but brought the tip into my mouth. 

“You are so fucking perfect. Do you enjoy having your master's cock in your mouth?” 

God, I swear his words and voice could get me off alone. 

His hand had a tight grip in my hair as I bobbed my head up and down, hollowing my cheeks, and moving my tongue all around the tip. I was so honored to have turned this god into a moaning mess. And eventually he was cumming down my throat. I swallowed every bit before I could think about saving it as some weird souvenir or for some ritual. 

I swear he growled as he came. Eventually he was pulling me off the floor, and kissing me passionately. His soft lips pressed mine hard, and his tongue had no end to it’s exploration of my mouth. 

“My turn to worship you,” he exclaimed pushing me back against the couch.

“Loki, no…”

“Shhh, I am not going to hurt myself.” 

And I realized as he moved lower what his plan was. Suddenly, I was naked before the god. His large, smooth, strong hands, pushing my thighs apart. 

“You are so wet for your king aren’t you?” his hands moved along my wet folds. I could only moan out a yes. 

And then his long fingers were inside me and his thumb was rubbing my clit as he sweet mouth placed sweet kisses along my torso from my nipples to hips, occasionally sucking and leaving a hickey. And now, I was a moaning mess for my god, as I often was at night thinking of him. 

Eventually his thumb was removed from my clit and was replaced with his mouth. 

Damn, that felt really good. The feel of him sucking my clit with his teeth occasionally lightly scraping against it caused me to scream his name. Which only encouraged him to add another finger inside me, his three fingers curling to hit my sweet spot. 

I looked down and made eye contact with him. The look of his eyes looking up at me while his mouth was on me was too much and  then I was orgasming for my god, moaning his name, my hips bucking, and my toes curling. And he took it all in and more. 

He summoned a towel to clean me up as I came down from my high. 

“Holy shit, that was amazing.”

“Yes it was darling, but this couch isn’t big enough for the both of us, do you mind if I join you to sleep in your bed?” 

Sex  is good and all but now I get to cuddle Loki, the god of mischievous, all night long, that just might be even better. 

[welcometothenightcourt]

100 Coping Skills

———————————————————

1. Exercise (run, walk, etc.)

2. Put on fake tattoos

3. Write (poetry, journal, story, etc.)

4. Scribble/Doodle on paper

5. Be with other people

6. Watch favorite TV Show

7. Post on social media; respond to others’ posts

8. Go see a movie

9. Do a wordsearch or crossword

10. Do schoolwork

11. Play an instrument

12. Paint your nails; do your hair or makeup

13. Sing

14. Study the sky

15. Punch a punching bag/pillow

16. Cover yourself with band aids where you want to self-harm

17. Let yourself cry

18. Take a nap

19. Take a hot-cold shower or bath

20. Play with a pet

21. Go shopping

22. Knit or sew

23. Clean something

24. Read a good book

25. Listen to music

26. Try some aromatherapy (candles, incense, essential oils)

27. Meditate

28. Go somewhere very public

29. Bake cookies or other treats

30. Alphabetize your CD’s/Movies/ Playlist/Books/etc

31. Paint or draw

32. Rip paper into itty bitty pieces

33. Shoot hoops; kick/throw a ball

34. Write a letter or send a message/email

35. Plan your dream room (furniture, colors, layout, etc)

36. Hug a pillow or stuffed animal

37. Hyperfocus on something like a rock or your hand

38. Dance

39. Make hot chocolate, a milkshake, smoothie, tea, etc

40. Play with modeling clay or play dough

41. Build a pillow fort

42. Go for a nice, long car ride

43. Complete something you’ve been putting off

44. Draw on yourself with marker

45. Take up a new hobby

46. Look up recipes and cook a meal

47. Look and examine pretty things like flowers or art

48. Create or build something

49. Pray

50. Make a list of blessings in your life

51. Read the Bible (even just for the lols)

52. Go to a friend’s house

53. Jump on a trampoline

54. Watch an old, happy movie

55. Contact a hotline/therapist

56. Talk to someone close to you

57. Ride a bicycle

58. Feed the birds, ducks, etc

59. Color with crayons

60. Memorize a poem, song, or play

61. Stretch

62. Search for ridiculous things on the internet (ex: *your name* the hedgehog)

63. “Shop” online (without actually buying anything)

64. Color coordinate your clothes/closet

65. Watch fish

66. Make a playlist of your favorite songs

67. Play the “15 minute” game (avoid something for 15 minutes and then come back to it)

68. Plan your wedding/prom/other event

69. Plant some seeds/Garden

70. Hunt for your perfect home/car online

71. Try to make as many words as possible with your first/middle/last/nick name

72. Sort through your photos

73. Play with a balloon

74. Do laundry

75. Find some toys and play with them

76. Play video/computer/phone/board/card games

77. Start collecting something

78. Clean up trash from your local park

79. Perform a random act of kindness for someone

80. Text or call a friend

81. Write yourself an “I love you because...” letter

82. Look up new words and use them

83. Rearrange furniture

84. Write a letter to someone you may never send

85. Smile at at least 5 people

86. Play with little kids (siblings, cousins, nephews, etc)

87. Go for a walk to find a cool place to hang out (with or without friends)

88. Put a puzzle together

89. Clean your room

90. Try to do handstands, cartwheels, etc

91. Yoga

92. Teach your pet a new trick

93. Learn a new language

94. Move EVERYTHING in your room to a new spot

95. Get together with friends and play sports or music

96. Hug a friend/family member

97. Search for new songs/artists

98. Make a list of goals for the next day/week/month/year/next 5 years/etc

99. Face paint/Body paint

100. Watch cute/funny animal videos

[obutsuwrites]

needy (brother!dabi x f!reader)

summary: Turquoise eyes bore down into you. "Put them down my pants." Chapped lips curled into an impish grin. Lopsided and showing a sliver of teeth. His pink tongue poked out, as if to imply it were a joke. xxx i did little editing n wrote this on my phone oops warnings: ball worship/play (maybe??), cum, handjob, incest, licking, smut, spit word count: 2,086 masterlist | tipjar | twitter | commission info | ask box is open taglist: @shigatomu @sadjealouswhore @tenaciousgothstudentauthor @kaccatus @proxy9301 @yanderewoods @the-originals-lover 

The sky was void of stars. A black canvas you stared into, body shivering. Touya -- like any good older brother -- sat next to you. His leg was rubbing against yours. He felt incredibly warm despite the chill. You stared into your open palms. It was your fault Touya was stuck out here… with you. He was just being a good brother. He insisted. Wanting nothing more than comfort, you greedily complied. You hated these fights. Shouting matches between your parents seemed punctual during the holidays. Your father blamed the stress, your mother blamed him. You? You blamed their cursed union. 

Your heart hurt at the thought of it; love that meant nothing. Touya tried to be reassuring. He claimed your folks still loved each other, it just wasn't the same as yours. Touya's love was extra special. Something so precious no one replicate it. You liked to think he had your best interests at heart, despite his rough exterior. 

Touya smelled like cigarettes and obnoxious deodorant. You knew the strong scent was meant to hide his habits. Mother and father didn't know he smoked. Touya told you simply, "It's our little secret. Isn't it meant to be special?" You didn't know; secrets felt wrong to keep, but Touya only wanted the best for you. He told you all the time. You were his sweet little sister. His keeper. Being so close to him made your heart swell. Touya was nurturing towards you, if not babying you at times. 

There is a comfortable silence between the two of you as Touya huffs down his cigarette. 

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, still staring into your hands. You felt useless like this. Touya had to be hurting, too. He just hid the ache for your sake. It was selfish. You looked up at Touya. His chiseled features were blessed even under streetlights. Sharp jawline, piercing eyes. A man far more handsome than any other. You wondered if wanting to kiss him was normal. Just a peck on the cheek; like when you were kids. He'd pepper you in sloppy kisses, cheeks stuffed with gushers. The sensation was obnoxious. His sugary drool mixed with the kisses, and dribbled down your face. Touya would point and claim you were dirty now -- so as any good brother-- you were treated to a hot bath. 

Touya pulled you back into the wintery night, a lazy arm draped over your shoulders. "Don't worry about it, little sis. You're my favorite, ya know that, right?" Compliments from Touya weren't rare. His raspy voice brimmed with praise. Passing comments that cemented 1themselves in your mind -- like a root. You wanted nothing but make him proud. And yet, you let him down by being such a baby. The shouting had again forced you outside. Neither of you were dressed for such chilly misery. Touya clad in flannel pajama pants, torn hoodie. Black boots beat all to hell. His only complete jacket was draped over you. He didn't want you to catch a cold. 

You flash him a smile, "You're my favorite, Touya. I love you!" You buried your face in his chest. Tiny arms wrapped around his lean frame. Despite his height, Touya was a teddy bear; always seeking your comfort. His displays were cute, but you sometimes wondered if they meant more. If he wanted you closer. You waved away the perversion, opting to take a sniff of Touya. 

Harsh cigarettes and minty aftershave. A smell that reminded you of headpats and random touches. Touya couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself. He needed to touch some part of you, always. You didn't know anything else. If anything, his calloused hands felt like home. Secure. 

"Like the smell?" Touya laughed. His chest vibrated against your head. A roar. The sensation was familiar. Touya's laugh was rhythmic. Something buried within it was almost hypnotizing. You could listen forever. His joy was practically infectious. 

Your voice came out muffled, "Touya… you smell good." A lazy haze was in your voice. Being so close to Touya was intoxicating. Your older brother in your future was inevitable. An ending you looked forward to. Anticipated. His body was warm; your heater in the chill. Touya's lean muscles relaxed into you. He was enamored with the affection. Blind devotion to older brother Touya… Kinda hot. 

He flinched at the thought and shrunk in your hold. Was it… These were fantasies? Visuals that haunted him during cuddle sessions and sleepovers. Any skin to skin. No matter how insignificant. He ached for you. Flashes of you naked, asking big brother Touya to cum in your cunt. Fill you up until you couldn't take anymore. Your face red and feverish underneath him. 

You returned the perceived attention, and nuzzled into your favorite big brother. 

"My hands are cold," you remarked. The very tip of your fingers dared to poke out, pricking the cold. The flesh was starting to ache. Your blood was so frigid it hurt. A river in the dead of winter. Barren. More ice than water. 

Admiring eyes looked up at Touya. Intense and starry. Touya compared your eyes to a nebula; infinite and overflowing with sparkles. There was something electric in your eyes. Something Touya couldn't ignore. He tried to, like any good brother, you didn't believe in no. You hunted him down until you became attached to his hip. Your body was too much; your space was his space now. Touya once read it was trauma bonding -- survival for both of them. But Touya liked to think you liked him despite it. He'd envision you dating him. He was convinced you would if you weren't related, why else can he touch you? Some naughty piece of you was a degenerate… just like him. 

Turquoise eyes bore down into you. "Put them down my pants." Chapped lips curled into an impish grin. Lopsided and showing a sliver of teeth. His pink tongue poked out, as if to imply it were a joke. But under the luminance of amber, Touya’s lean body was hard to ignore. Every breath came out with a shiver; muscles relaxed and contracted again under his tattered hoodie. He acted like the cold was a joke. Touya wanted to be the big brother you depended on -- your first. 

Wide, innocent eyes looked up at him, your mouth slightly agape. You took his words at face value; Touya wouldn’t do anything wrong. Why would he? He was always protective, always looking out for you… always the one to sit outside with you, no matter how miserable the weather. Neither could you deny your curiosity. ‘Being that close with Touya…’

Your fingers lingered on the hem of pants. The material was plush. You hoped his thighs were as soft. Pillowy and welcoming and warm. He felt like home… He was home. Touya brought you comfort, security, and a certain joy you didn’t find with anyone else. Not even friends. 

Your breath came out hot and ghosted over his neck, “Okay, Touya.” His name played on your vocal cords in a melody. It was a sound he wanted to hear forever. Courage was in your heart as a hand snaked under Touya’s pants. Only one, a test. You desired this closeness with him -- chest aching and pulse racing. Yet the act itself still carried an air of taboo. Neurons in the back of your skull fired off with judgement. You blissfully shoved away the thoughts and shoved another hand down his pants. His thighs were sturdy. Athletic. Blood slowly began to trickle back into numb fingertips. The familiar sensation of a sore heat. 

Silence again fell. Touya stared off into the distance. An attempt to ignore how delicate your hands were. How good your hands would feel wrapped around him..

Touya adjusts himself. Your hands follow suit and rested ever closer to his crotch. You saw he wore plain black boxers. Thin material that forced you to hyperfocus on his bare thighs. Touya had noticed the crimson that flooded your cheeks. Like any good brother, he decided to catalog the memory. It was only fair to tease you later.

“Thanks, Touya.” 

He makes a mistake and looks down. Your eyes are so big, so wanting. Touya can’t help himself.

Calloused hands eclipse yours. Touya is as cold as the wintery night. Frigid. Icy. He’s gentle and guides your hand to his bulge. You can feel the outline of his veins. His member is thick. Touya rubs your hands against it; a twitch shoots through his cock. 

“You wanna touch it, little sis?” His eyes are bright in the night. Azul gems that twinkled and burned. His voice is gruff. Words laced with lust. The sound is unfamiliar, but you recognize the heaviness to it. 

Tiny, curious hands sneak into Touya’s boxers. You try to learn his body; fingers grasping for any contact. Your fingers trace his veins, until interest bears too much, and you give a careful stroke. Touya shutters in response, “D-don’t stop.” He whimpers, something unheard of for your capable older brother. Touya sounds so vulnerable. A spark ignites in your stomach. 

His hands grip wiry thighs as you gingerly work his cock. Touya tries to steady himself. Years were spent and counted with hope. Fantasies of your hands trailing down his body. Inexperienced fingers dwarfed by his cock. His day dreams usually involved you complimenting him -- insisting he was your favorite brother. Your favorite. 

"Touya, can I see it?" You couldn't have asked anymore innocently. Your voice carried a quiet squeak to it. It was a familiar warmth. Embarrassment. You hadn't touched anyone like this before. Truthfully, Touya was the only person you wanted to touch. He carried comfort. Some concrete sense of home. Blood had returned to your fingers, the ache now gone. 

Touya nods, black hair showing roots. He fit a redhead just as well, but the rugged man preferred sticking out. He wanted you to remember him. Touya craved to be your only thought. Your only desire. He noticed how loyal you were -- keeping little secrets and lying for him. Touya heard it once, but you told a lie for him. "No, Dad. The neighbor's were outside smoking. Touya sat with me again." 

His keeper. 

Innocent eyes widen; Touya's cock is unlike anything you've imagined seen. His cock was lengthy, veins thick and pulsing. Under yellow light and a starless sky, his head twitched. The sterling metal caught your eye. 

"Touya..?" 

Before you can make your sentence tangible, Touya glides your hand over his exposed cockhead, "Please." His eyes burn with need. Sweat glistens his cheeks. Touya looks at you like you're the moon; luminous and shining for him. You feel like his world in this moment as your fragile thumb strokes Touya's sensitive head. He squirms under you and occasionally pants a little too loud. Drool collects at the corner of his grin. 

The sight of Touya inspires you. One hand wrapped around his length, pumping him, and the other works his now slick head. Pre-cum leaks down his cock and provides ample glide. A furnace begins in Touya's stomach -- the familiar sensation of an orgasm. 

"St-stop, baby." The term makes your eyes glow, "Play with my balls." Roughly, he shoves your moist hand onto his balls. Intrigued, you give them an experimental kneed. In response, Touya grinds into you and coaxes out a shiver. Gently, you worked his balls. Massaging and caressing. Working his needy flesh. 

Suddenly, Touya's nicotine breath is obvious in your face. Blue eyes drink you in before a pink tongue laps at your cheek. Touya is relentless. He slobbers you like a dog -- no regard for his spit nor your comfort. Saliva trails down your chin. You close an eye and continue to pump him. His tongue is squishy, hot, and wet on your cheek. The humidity of his breath contributes to your rosy gleam; cheeks red and moist. His need physically manifests. Greedy, narrow hips thrust into your palm. Hungry for contact. 

"Don't stop. G-gonna cu-cum," his words fall out tangled and breathless. Being a good little sister, you quicken your pace. His cock pulses and a deep groan rumbles from his chest, the vibration heavy against you. Cum spurts from his pierced slit and onto your fingers. Syrupy and thick. It coats your hand and feels almost too warm.

You sit in silence while Touya tries to regulate his breathing. His calloused thumb rubs your heated cheeks. Flushed and wanting to please. 

"You need a bath, little sister."

[seasidefallenangel]

hq characters with a neurodivergent s/o

✰ neurodivergency refers to someone with adhd and/or autism.

sugawara koushi;

○ he tries his best to offer as much support as possible. he can’t say he understands a lot of it, but he absolutely sympathizes with you. you don’t have to worry a ton when you have more off days, or in the event you have rsd, that he’ll get upset with your feelings. he knows you genuinely can’t help it, and very rarely gets upset to point where he’d need a little distance from you

○ picks up on the concept of hyperfixations fairly easily. he can’t even begin to imagine how horrible it is - if one day he woke up and his passions meant nothing to him anymore. if you have a hard time making friends because of how quickly and intensely your interests change, he makes an effort to try and get into some of the new stuff you pick up. he can’t always guarantee he’ll like it or anything, but he’s always willing to listen to you infodump

○ if he spots any sort of fidget toy/stressball/etc, he’ll buy one for you. he’s not sure if they actually help you a lot, but you always seem super grateful for it. he’ll take notice of what ones you tend to reach for more and try to gear towards getting those ones for you

○ as patient as he is, he does have his moments where he can get overwhelmed with you. times where your impulsivity, aggression or other symptoms of neurodivergency become too much for him to handle can lead to him snapping a little. he’ll make sure to leave the room as he knows it’s not your fault and you don’t act like this on purpose, but he’s only human. he makes sure afterwards to let you know he’d never blame you for what you can’t help, and to not be too hard on yourself in these situations

nishinoya yuu;

○ there’s honestly a fair chance he had adhd himself, even if he doesn’t realize it. you’ve never explicitly said you think he is to his face, but sometimes you hint that the way you treat certain things is really similar

○ he’s a big believer that being spontaneous keeps a relationship fun and interesting, which is both a blessing and a curse. on some days, something new and unknown is exactly what you need to stimulate your brain and keep your attention. other days it’s hard to find purpose in doing anything at all, and keeping up with his energy proves to be difficult

○ he really doesn’t want to get annoyed with you, but it tends to happen pretty often. he recognizes you’re not purposefully trying to make him mad and in return he’ll try his hardest to never lash out at you. there’s been a few moments where it was just  impossible to control himself (another sign of someone who’s nd, you noted afterwards), but both of you understand each others grievances and are able to work past it

kageyama tobio;

○ at first, he’s not going to take you seriously. he’s the type to say that you're just avoiding your problems, making up excuses, overreacting. the “if you want to do something, then just do it” type of person. he doesn’t really think he’s coming off as being an asshole, but when there’s a very noticeable rift between the two of you, he starts racking his brain for what might’ve made you upset and eventually puts two and two together

○ it takes time, as many things like this do. you’ll have to really sit down and explain things to him, and he slowly starts to understand. he’ll tell you some of this stuff reminds him of himself before brushing it off and never questioning it again. you absolutely suspect he’s on the spectrum but won’t bring it up until he either asks you or starts thinking about it himself - which happens when you accidentally mention how volleyball seems to be his special intrest

○ it can be... difficult to say the least. he can’t really keep up all that well with sudden shifts and the irritability you often show over things that seemingly don’t matter. sometimes it’s hard for him to not take things personally, and the fact you two seem so similar in this regard raises a fair amount of problems. you both have to learn from the issues and work together to co-exist peacefully, but it’s very worth it in the end

tsukishima kei;

○ tsukishima will pick on almost anyone for almost anything. this is something he will absolutely never joke about. he made the mistake once early on - something about a test grade - and had to deal with your emotional outburst, following a meltdown, over how you tried so hard but nothing makes sense. you can’t just sit in a class and learn like he does, you’ll never be normal, never be good enough-

○ he had to stop the downward spiral in the middle of the sidewalk, but he was too shaken up to worry about embarrassment. that sort of reaction wasn’t normal by any means, and when he got home that night he tried looking into why exactly that happened. the complete shift in attitude the next day was jarring you to, but the genuine apology was even more jarring. he doesn’t apologize easily, but something about having made fun of a neurological disorder you’ve suffered with your whole life just doesn’t sit well in his stomach

○ he picks up extremely quickly, even for him. he’s very perceptive of when you’re more on-edge than usual and reminds himself to be patient with you. he’s not coddling in public (unless you’re having some sort of breakdown or panic attack) but it’s noticeable that he doesn’t make any sort of jabs at you like he does with most others

○ helps tutor you without any gripes. he won’t lie and say he gets how hard it is for you to understand certain concepts, but he’s aware things don’t come as easily to other people like it does to him. very thorough in explaining whatever you have difficulty with and tries coming up with real life examples to help it make more sense. if it does become too much for him (he’s still a high schooler regardless of how he acts), he’ll end the session and let you know it’s nobody’s fault 

kuroo tetsurou;

○ one of, if not at the top of the list, the best people to date if you’re neurodivergent. he takes this extremely seriously and doesn’t doubt you at all when you explain how it feels like everyday your disorder slowly rips you apart until there’s nothing left. every part of your life is affected by this and he wants to be able to help you feel as normal as possible despite everything weighing you down

○ puts a lot of time and research into your disorders. he wants to understand what’s helpful and what’s counterproductive without bothering you about it since he doesn’t know if you might react badly. he has a very good balance of figuring out how to help you cope in certain scenarios even if they’re not ideal and removing you from a situation where things are just too heavy for you to handle

○ he really stresses how important it is you talk to him about your boundaries, things you need, moments where you’re overwhelmed, etc. he can’t imagine life has been that easy for you thus far and tries to do everything he can, from helping with schoolwork, getting fidget toys, introducing you to new things that may help, and anything in between. he never wants you to feel as if you’re a burden or difficult because of what you can’t control, and will bend over backwards to prove it

kozume kenma;

○ kenma is fairly well versed in online topics and this is one that comes up often. given how perceptive he is towards the world around him, he was pretty easily able to figure out that something was different about you far before you started dating. he doesn’t speak about it much with you but does a lot behind-the-scenes to help make everyday life easier

○ given that kenma is always getting into new games and franchises, he’s able to help make the time in between hyperfixations more bearable. you had described to him how empty and monotone everything feels when you aren’t focused on something specific and he really hates picturing you so lifeless because your brain just won’t let you consume things normally. even if you aren’t playing the game so much as just watching his do it, he feels better knowing there’s something distracting you

○ something important to remember is that you’re not the only one who can act out or get overwhelmed easily. kenma hates being pushed out of his comfort zone and imagines it the same for you, so he makes sure to never put you in a place where you might face sensory overload or anything of the sort. he expects the same treatment back. infodumping is fine and he’ll nod and listen to you, but if there’s a point where you become suffocating then he’ll ask you to take a step back and give him a moment. wants to avoid triggering anything rsd-related so he’ll specify this isn’t your fault and that everyone makes him feel this way at some point

oikawa tooru;

○ quite possibly one of the worst people to go through this with you at the start. oikawa puts his soul into everything he does even if it shatters him, so some of your behaviors might not sit well with him. a lot of people who are neurodivergent have something they naturally excel in and in the same vein, end up dropping or disregarding because they no longer hyperfocus on it. it reminds him too much of a certain kouhai who had all the ability oikawa did with none of the years of practice it took him to get there, and puts a bad taste in your mouth

○ explain to him it’s not fair that he treats you in a way that implies you enjoy living like this, because you’d give anything to keep interests you have for longer than a few weeks or months, regardless of how much you try to force yourself to stay into it. he re-evaluates himself and realizes he’s in the wrong. he’ll never fully understand how it affects you but he’ll listen and learn about it, ask questions, study how he can help. he compares how you hyperfixate to how much he’ll focus on volleyball and knows this has to be an equally giving relationship in regards to respecting the other interests

○ he’ll have his moments where he can’t pretend that he’s able to handle your mood swings and inability to just sit down and pay attention to something. you tell him he wouldn’t be normal if he was somehow okay with everything you do. an afternoon where he practices in the gym by himself and you sit and binge watch something is good enough for some breathing room without causing any unclosable rift to appear. he’ll may sure he’s listening intently when he comes home and you go into detail about a new hobby of yours. he’s trying his absolute best, i promise you

bokuto koutaro;

○ it’s highly likely bokuto has adhd himself. it’s one of those things adults just say to kids when they’re being hyperactive without actually knowing all the things that come with having adhd, but the older bokuto got the more he looked into it and realized it might actually be a thing for him. there’s a lot of neurodivergent-related issues you have that sometimes fly over his head or he has to go back and think about again, but he’s the last person who ever wants to cause any issues for you

○ he’ll ask you questions regarding if you think he has adhd and some of the signs that make it recognizable. he’s terrified at the idea volleyball might just be a hyperfixation of his, but feels much better when you explain special interests and how if anything it would fall under that category for him. these conversations are a very intimate bonding moment for both of you, given how vulnerable you really have to be to let all your weaknesses be known without worry of ridicule. he wouldn’t trade the knowledge of having your trust so deeply for the world

○ bokuto, for as supportive as he is, can stimulate your brain in a bad way. he’s easily excitable and often has volume issues, and more than a few times has he triggered sensory overload for you. he feels horrible whenever it happens and wants to comfort you so badly, but knows the best thing is for him to just quiet down and leave you be. he never takes it personally and goes into “emo mode” because he knows how serious it can be. the only time he’ll get close in this moments is if you have a panic attack because of it in which case he tries helping you steady your breath and stop shaking. normally you’d hate being touched when you’re like this, but his arms and warmth work wonders for your psyche

tendou satori;

○ it’s terrifying how in-tune he is with you. it’s almost like you’re just talking about the weather instead of you trying to scratch the skin off your arm while your brain got the better of you. stimming, hyperfocusing, lack of interest, social interaction issues, you can talk to him about literally anything related to your neurodivergency and he’ll be on the exact same wavelength as you. he’s able to adapt very easily and can read your irritability, mood swings and any triggers you might have. is excellent at getting you out a situation before it becomes too much for you to bear

○ tendou is another character who always has something new to show you, so he’s also very good at filling the gap between hyperfixations. he’s somehow able to completely keep up with your infodumping and even will do something similar of the sort right back you. he loves finding new games and anime and will automatically partake in anything you show him. it really helps you mentally since you never feel like you’re talking too much or uncomfortably passionate about anything since he seems so genuinely interested in what you have to say

○ is extremely protective and defensive of you when it comes to others questioning why you act a certain way or do certain things. there’s probably a little bit of a personal tie there since he got bullied for being different when he was a kid, and he absolutely hates when people are derided because they don’t follow the falsely conceived notion of normalcy. you’re not harming anyone, why should it matter what you’re doing? if you’re insecure about stimming in public though, he invests in fidgets cubes for you to keep in your pockets to play with secretly so nobody notices anything out of the ordinary. his main goal is to make sure you’re happy no matter how much your head tries to tell your otherwise. really, he just loves you more than anything else

kita shinsuke;

○ if anyone else treated this the way mr. no gaps does, you’d absolutely freak out on them - but for some reason since it’s kita it comes off as comforting. he’s the type that doesn’t let you use disorders as a restriction or excuse to let yourself settle for mediocrity, but he makes it obvious that he wants to see you thrive despite the things holding you back. he’ll never put you in a situation he thinks will trigger any sort of attack, rather things he know you can handle if you put a little more faith in yourself and your abilities

○ if he sees you’re spiraling and can’t take any sort of outside forces interacting with you a ton then he’ll make sure you have a day or two off to yourself. he won’t criticize or ridicule you for anything and goes along with whatever whims you feel (or in same cases, don’t feel like doing anything at all.) understands there’s a very important balance you need to maintain in order to go through life feeling even semi-decent and doesn’t want to jeopardize any progress you’ve made towards helping yourself

○ likes to play casual volleyball in the backyard when you’re stable and attentive enough to understand what’s going on around you. if it becomes a hyperfixation of yours then he’ll be glad to go more in depth so long as it doesn’t hit a point where it’s damaging your ability to interact with anything else. he’s a big believer that moving your body and being outside helps relax you, even if you’re not enthusiastic at the moment about it. he won’t let anybody - not your family, not an outsider, not even yourself - look down on you for any disability you have

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:* 　　 *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

✰ this was stupid self indulgent but idc!! i’m neurodivergent myself and let it be known that if you say you have hyperfixations and you’re not nd i will stick your arm in a deep fryer <3

[alrightsnaps]

(Part one) can I just say I love your responses to the violet/Anthony relationship. i mean there’s the weird idea that fandom shouldn’t ignore men’s trauma, when every single fandom I have ever been in has hyper fixated on one man and his man pain while defending every action of his often while blaming other characters for it- often female characters. i don’t understand why fandom thinks that Anthony is still 18years old OR this weird fandom idea that violet had post partum depression after hyacinths birth so anthony was responsible for looking after the kids. there is no canon basis for her having post partum depression. like the books and tv show make it pretty obvious that violet did the majority of the child caretaking and knew her children very well although Anthony of course was still involved. this whole blame placed on violet is literally done to give Anthony more trauma & sadness- same as the idea that violet favour benedict or Colin or Daphne over him. I mean if anyone is the favourite wouldn’t it be hyacinth who violet literally claims saved her and probably let her get away with too much. but of course that wouldn’t make anthony more sympathetic in the way that benedict being violets favourite would.

(Part two) I hate how fandom acts like Anthony - a literal lord in the regency era is the most oppressed character with the most tragedy in the whole show. all his flaws are blamed on violet or Siena or Daphne or Simon. Violet traumatises him bc she tells him to grow up, Daphne is a crappy sister bc she had the audacity to kiss a guy she was not married to causing him to duel- no sympathy for the restricted societal norms that Daphne has faced. Siena ofcourse caused anthony misery bc she made a joke abt the watch- but no one cares that he tossed her onto the street. And ofcourse Simon was a shit friend cause he didn’t marry the girl he kissed until he was forced to despite anthony doing the same thing in the study. I actually like show anthony but fandom Anthony is a different story. You can like a character without needing to blame all their bad actions on someone else. Sorry for the long rant.

Bless you anon, feel free to rant to me any time!

I think fandoms’ hyperfocus on male trauma is a damn good reflection on how men's pain is treated by society in general and actually taken seriously and how women are usually blamed for the actions of the men in their lives. It's the fault of the mother when her son grows up to be a raging misogynist because she shouted at him when he was in the third grade etc. I've never NOT seen people focus on men's mental health and prioritise it over women, fandom or not. It kinda brings to mind how some people when talking about the sexual abuse of a man will use the all-time-classic “if the victim was a woman things would be different!” to emphasize that men have it worse and men's trauma isn't being taken seriously. Since.....women have it easy and are usually believed when they speak up or see the perpetrators facing any consequences I guess??

(Funny thing is I remember reading somewhere about the opposite happening, and judges giving harsher sentences when it comes to men rather than women being sexually abused by other men.)

Sorry, I'm ranting.

Anyway, regarding Anthony I absolutely agree. I also like his character a lot and I'm really interested to see how they'll develop his arc in season 2 with Kate in the picture. But the way he's infantilised by the fandom is just annoying tbh and too familiar. Everyone is at fault except *checks notes* the super privileged male character whose actions are always the fault of someone else, usually a woman.

I remember how people went after Simon for saying that thing about his father to provoke him (which personally I thought was savage🔥 as🔥 hell 🔥after everything he pulled in season 1) or Violet for not “letting” him be with Siena. Meanwhile Anthony fooled around with Siena all season just because he could, left her high and dry after committing to take care of her, kept approaching her afterwards even though he had no intention to marry her and then–and that's the richest part– he was about to throw her to the wolves by bringing her to a ton party as his mistress. Like...this is supposed to be a man who has been a Viscount for ten years. He had to know that they would tear apart Siena. And instead of either leaving her alone or, if he decided to marry her, asking for his family's support as he presented her as a fiancée (having Daphne and Eloise befriend her, ask for his mother to support the match in the ton etc)...he was about to just about to bring her to Simon and Daphne's party with no safety net whatsoever! And then he was surprised when she told him to fuck off!

It just blows my mind how self-absorbed much of his s01 behaviour was. He was legitimately acting like an 18-year-old the entire season, while also being convinced that he knows better than any woman in his life affected by his decisions.

[straighttohellbuddy]

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me 

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes 

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in 

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

[spikeymarshmallows]

A friend linked me to this article, and I’m only a bit through, but here are some things people don’t realise about ADHD. Heck, I sure didn’t once!

Take hyperfocus, a common ADHD trait, for example. People can become so engrossed in an activity that interests them (like playing video games) for so many hours that they lose all sense of time. But because it isn’t included in the diagnosis manual and doesn’t fit the “attention deficit” stereotype, clinicians wrongfully use it to disqualify patients from an ADHD diagnosis.

--Yep. Was told by a psychiatrist that because I had a bachelors, and liked to write, I couldn’t have ADHD.

Another related feature of ADHD overlooked by the diagnosis manual is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) where, as Price described it, “rejection becomes so debilitating you literally feel like you've been punched in the gut.”

--HAHAHAA. FUCK.

Hallowell even coined his own companion term: a phenomenon he calls “recognition sensitive euphoria.” In the same way that mild or merely perceived criticism and rejection can cause a person with ADHD to wilt, the smallest forms of encouragement and recognition do wonders to motivate them.

--YEP.

Another under-researched symptom, Matlen said, is sensitivities to sound, touch, light, smell, or taste, with a higher tendency to be overwhelmed by sensory stimulation.

-- God. YEP. I wish it weren’t the case. Better still is I’ve become worse with age. FML.

It feeds into the myth that kids with ADHD are a result of bad parenting with disruptive behavior that’d be quelled through discipline. But actually, evidence suggests that punitive parenting can make the symptoms of ADHD worse.

--My parents were insanely strict. This... This is a Whole Story.

There’s no shortage of ambitious, successful people diagnosed with ADHD. But the general public doubts the legitimacy or seriousness of their disorder more, precisely because of their achievements.

--“How can you have gotten a bachelors and MA with ADHD? Impossible!” How? A fuckload of panicked assignments and a good amount of crying.

“ADHD is not caused by the world today. The world today has just created a situation where people with ADHD cannot cope,” said Quinn. It's true that technology has led to a modern life with more distraction, information, demands for multi-tasking, and higher academic and professional pressures than ever before. 

--Technology is the best and worst thing in the world

Their symptoms don’t visibly disrupt theirs or others' lives enough, until a change in lifestyle gives them more responsibilities that trigger the ADHD or make it more apparent. 

--Oh fuck me, I’m feeling really seen rn... I’ve wondered why it has gotten progressively more obvious and have had my theories... This was among them.

They find strategies, jobs, environments, the right partners, and create circumstances to help mask their ADHD. But there's usually an eventual breakdown, typically brought on by significant changes to lifestyle demands. 

--HAHAHAHA FUCK.

What Hallowell hopes his patients understand is that, yes, living with ADHD can be hard. But the brain trait can also influence resilient, resourceful, curious, creative, intuitive, innovative, outside-the-box thinkers who are at the top of their field and represented across all areas of interest.

What hinders people with ADHD most is a world that’s ill-prepared to help their best qualities flourish, both in school and the workplace.

What you want to learn is how to maximize the blessing and minimize the curse,” said Hallowell.

How to maximise the blessing and minimise the curse:

A support system to provide encouragement and affirmation

Identifying your talents and a job that caters to them

Positive, stable emotional connections, especially with partners who complement your ADHD

A creative outlet, even if it’s just a hobby

--IDK GUYS. I JUST FEEL SUPER SEEN RN.

[chatnoirismycinnamonroll]

Do Faeries exist? Part 2

7:15 am

'I don't want to get up today.'

"Marinette! Wake up, you're going to be late for school!"

Marinette grumbled as she squinted at her alarm clock. What was the use of living across the school, where her parents could see her classmates walking by, if they still woke her up late because they forgot she also went to school?

She only had half an hour to get ready and reach her homeroom (Bustier, again), but knowing her parents, theyd want to give her a "pep talk" that only repeated the same words every year and wasnt the least bit encouraging. It would also make her about one or two minutes late, but that was actually a bit of a blessing.

Marinette chose the same style of outfit that was branded with her signature pink flowers. Pink, white, and black. Her favorite combination of colors. She wore a pair of pink capris pants with a white shirt that had a diagonal flower pattern across her chest covered by a black overshirt, sleeves rolled up to her elbows to draw attention to the pink and white polka-dotted inner lining that tied together well with her pink and white flats. Looking at the clock, she barely managed to get her hair into twin tails before rushing downstairs for a quick breakfast.

She followed the same script they spoke every year, and zoned her mother out as, yet again, her nerves kicked in to create a mess of her breakfast. Her parents called her clumsy, but Marinette knew she had anxiety and stress. And it always kicked in at the worst of times and made her nerves act up, causing her hands or knees to shake, her limbs to flail in panic at nothing, and her mind to struggle to make coherent sentences. Chloe wasnt the only direct reason Marinette arrived from school most days with fresh bruises. Her mind was just always busy, whether by coming up with exaggerated worst-case scenarios or trying to go over every little thing she had done that day or trying to remind her of every little thing she had yet to do. It was exhausting.

She snapped to attention as her mother took away the chocolate powder container from her hands, and sighed dejectedly as she grabbed an apple from the knocked-over bowl of fruit. With a simple "Goodbye" and "I love you", Marinette headed down into the bakery to greet her father. He almost bumped into her, but set her upright and gave her a box of macarons "for her friends in class" before giving her a kiss on the cheek and sending her on her way. He walked back into the depths of the bakery before she could say goodbye.

'I dont even have any friends to share this with. Plus, I doubt theyd survive with Chloe around. With my luck, theres no way Chloe isnt in my class.'

She walked out the door and stood at the corner light. Her eyes were focused on the school doors, where she could already see Chloe sauntering in with her lackey, Sabrina, scurrying behind her. The light was still red, but her eyes focused as she noticed movement on the road ahead of her. An old man was crossing the street while the light was red.

There was a red car speeding into the lane. Her eyes darted from the car, to the man, and back. Her mind was racing, obviously seeing what might happen if the old man didnt finish crossing in the next three...

Her feet moved....

Two...

Her hands grabbed the man....

One...

She launched herself backwards, pulling the old man with her. Her heart was racing in her chest, and her mind was just focused on the car speeding past where they had been less than a second ago. What the hell had she just done?

She looked around her, her mind in hyperfocus. The light turned green, and people walked across without a care. They didnt bother to help her or the old man up. It seemed they hadnt noticed what had happened, what she had done.

She turned to the old man, who was struggling to get up. Absentmindedly, she helped him up, gathering her macarons in the process. The box was crushed, and some had fallen out, but the old man was safe. He looked up to thank her, but her mind became distracted by another sound.

The school bell. She had to hurry. She turned to the old man and rushed to say, "I hope you're okay, I have to get going, I'm late. Watch out for cars next time!" Darting across the crosswalk, Marinette missed the look the old man gave her, her mind racing with thoughts.

'That man could have died.'

'I could have died.'

'Why did I do that?'

'I need to be more careful.'

'I'm late, what will Bustier say?'

'Chloe's probably going to make fun and see the crushed macarons.'

'Why didnt I throw them away? I know nobody is going to take them, especially not now!'

She raced up the stairs and into Bustier's classroom, her feet catching on the doorstep as she saw Chloe in what was, technically, her spot for the last three years, and making her faceplant onto the floor. She mentally groaned as that high pitched laugh rang out from her seat.

She looked over at Bustier, but she had turned around to write on the board, her tense shoulders being the only clue that she knew what Chloe was doing. 'Typical.'

She took a deep breath and pushed herself up. She gathered whatever courage she had and headed in Chloe's direction. She was going to end this today. This wasnt going to be like the other years-

"What do you want, Dupain-Cheng?"

-If only her anxiety could let her actually do something. Still, she tried to push past it.

"That's my seat, Chloe."

"Not anymore, it isnt. You see, my Adrikins is coming to school today for the first time ever and I NEED to sit close to him! And he is way more handsome and important than you will ever be!"

"That has been my seat for the past three years, Chloe!"

"So what? It's not my fault that after three years you still havent put your name on it. Because I certainly dont see it. Why dont you sit over there with the new loser and stop trying to raise yourself to my level because you're never going to get there."

Anger. Frustration. Embarrassment. She could feel everybody else looking away from her, while simultaneously looking at her. Why couldnt she saying anything? Why couldnt she react the way she knew she could? Why was she actually walking down those stairs to her, ugh, new seat? Why was it always the same thing every year?

"Hey, dont listen to her. Girls like her never get anywhere in life on their own. Sooner or later, someone good will defeat the evil within her."

Marinette stared into chocolate brown eyes. Who was this girl? "Evilness within her?"

"Yeah, like how a superhero always defeats the supervillain. Bullies like her always get brought down eventually." The girl smiled, hope shining in the darkness of her eyes.

Marinette, despite dreading the fact that this girl was up for a terrible year, couldnt help but smile. There was just something about this girl that gave a person confidence, but Marinette knew it wouldnt last. Soon, she, too, would falter to Chloe's ways and ignore Marinette to avoid being a target.

Bustier turned around and began the class, ignoring Chloe's protests because her "precious Adrikins" hadnt arrived yet. Of course, this only caused Chloe to huff and glower through the entire morning. Marinette was distracted by the girl beside her.

"Hey, are those macarons?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. They got a bit crushed this morning, tho, so they dont look like much."

"Are you kidding? I bet they taste fantastic! Can I have one?"

Marinette had her doubts. She didnt want to encourage this girl, especially since it only meant heartbreak for Marinette in the end, but she supposed it wouldnt hurt for today.

"Yeah, sure. I'm Marinette."

"Alya."

Yeah, it probably wouldnt hurt to enjoy this while it lasted.

---------------------------

So, part 2 is done! I am drawing this out as much as I can, but I think it's coming about nicely. If anybody wants to be tagged, just ask and I will tag you!

Here is the tag list so far:

@ozmav @ginamariepotterhead @maddrag

Hope you guys like it!

Edit, because I forgot to put the tags for this.

[calledforhelp]

Author Interview

tagged by @throesofangels who is my blessed beloved uwu

name: Bird; I go by The_Birds_And_Bees as my main writing account on Ao3 which is a triple entendre.

fandoms: I very much hyperfocus, so there’s a few side fandoms I still do pay attention to, but Undertale absolutely continues to own my ass. I’ve gotten into Celeste pretty recently, as well.

where you post: ao3 primarily, though I used to have multiple accounts on ffnet and I’ve posted a couple of things here on tumbles.

most popular oneshot: Five Times Papyrus Was Really Great (and the times he is still just as great, but needs a reminder)! I wrote this in one sitting which was about 14 hours for a friend who was really distressed at the time; it’s really heartwarming to see how many other people it’s managed to help, too.

most popular multi-chapter fic;  Ngl I don’t really write a lot of multichapter things anymore- the stuff that I would have called my most popular is now orphaned, but the one I was fondest of reached 530 kudos and about 300 comments? Something like that.

favorite story you’ve written: Of things I’ve actually published, it’s probably Drive It Like You Stole It. I adore this work, which is one of the reasons why I’ve ended up continuing it after hiatusing from writing for so long.

fic you were nervous to post: Self-Care. It’s a selfcest pairing and tbh I’m just overall awkward about posting anything shipwise these days- add how small the fandom is on Ao3 and it took a while for me to feel brave enough to shove it up. Thankfully, people have been really kind about it!

how you choose your titles: Song titles/lyrics, quotes, or puns. Sometimes a mix of all three. Sometimes the title comes before the actual concept of the story, just because I see a quote or hear something that resonates to me.

do you outline: Almost always? But generally, it’s mostly an outline of dot points, so for a oneshot it might be only 3-5 points of what I’m looking for. In-depth for me might mean running through the motivations of characters and how that will affect conflict in the story.... but usually I’m writing a oneshot and I’ll finish it in one to two sessions of writing, so I don’t necessarily need them past brainstorming.

complete: uuuuHHHHH 

I mostly write oneshots because I finish them lfmskjb my track record with multichapters is pretty not great, but I can finish them? Sometimes??? Not as often as I’d like????

in progress: Stay Frosty (Royal Milk Tea), and And Then, There’s You are both works I’m in the progress of updating at least once each before the end of the year. 

coming soon/not yet started: Next year I really really want to rewrite and continue LOVE is War; hopefully, I’ll also get back to The day you took the good away, problem there being I’ve lost the outline I had for it, so there’s a lot of work I’ll have to do in order to...figure out the timeline I had planned, lmfao.

Ironically, I’m also currently working on a Christmas fic for the lovely Angel who tagged me, which is going by the working title Resonance. uwu

do you accept prompts: Absolutely! I can’t really promise that a big fic will come out of it, but I’ve definitely taken prompts before and explored ideas solely due to people telling me they’d love to see it.

upcoming story you are most excited to write: Resonance is something I’m hopefully finishing tonight, so I’m excited for that! It’ll also be nice to look at writing a sequel for Self-Care in future, though I’ll probably be taking a lot more time for that one fff

tagging: I’ll tag @knifehecker because they are a beautiful writer and I love hearing about their writing <3 also @annie-mantic, and anyone who’d like to do this, please feel free!