#blorbo au

[galleylapresident]

Behold: the blorbo AU arises from the depths to beat out all my other AUs to have a proper one shot written about it.

It started, oddly enough, with Kalifa. Despite Paulie's endless rants about how women should dress, he was always the first one to attack anyone who dared take advantage of one of the "scantily clad hussies" around Water 7. By the third time Kalifa watched Paulie hurl a drunkard through a window and into a canal for laying hands on a waitress, she knew for a fact that Paulie was all bark and no bite where women were concerned. No matter what he said, he'd be the first at her back if anyone tried anything.

Blueno was next. Despite Paulie's endless I.O.Us and ever-growing tab, Paulie always helped him clean up and close the bar on nights he was around. He even refused to take discounts on his drinks for the free labor. "Friends should help friends" he insisted while carrying in the endless kegs of beer that went into watering the thirsty mouths of Water 7. Hours and hours of work went into helping Blueno haul stock, clean spills, and repair broken furniture for free. Despite the mess of his personal life, Paulie was never one to turn way when someone needed help.

Then it was Kaku. As the youngest of the shipwrights—barely eighteen—he knew he had to prove himself to the older and more experienced shipwrights if he wanted to get close to Iceberg. That meant hours studying ships after work and meticulous effort to ensure that each knot, nail, and board were placed correctly. Paulie was at his side the entire time. Whether it was quizzing Kaku on different techniques or dragging him to Blueno's when he felt like his eyes were about to melt out of his head, Paulie always seemed to know what Kaku needed. He was always there, a willing teacher and listening ear.

Last was Lucci. At first, he saw Paulie as little more than what was on the surface. A skilled shipwright, Iceberg's first disciple, and a drunkard with a gambling problem. In many ways, Paulie was simply a problem that Lucci would eventually have to eliminate. Constantly attacking Kalifa for her clothing, following Kaku around the worksite all the time, and the way he was constantly beggin Blueno for drinks were just a few of the ways Paulie made himself a nuisance. That wasn't even counting Paulie's obsession with hearing Lucci's real voice or the debt collectors that skulked around the worksite each day. Truthfully, it seemed a miracle that Iceberg hadn't kicked Paulie out yet.

And yet... there was something fascinating about him too. About the way Kalifa always turned to Paulie whenever she needed a hand with disposing a handsy asshole. About the way Paulie knew exactly where Blueno kept his cleaning supplies and how he liked to organize the stockroom. About the way Kaku's knowledge had improved by leaps and bounds and how Paulie was happy to show off Kaku's work when Iceberg was around.

About how he took the time to research the kinds of foods that were good for pigeons. How he always made sure Hattori was out of the way before getting into it with Lucci. How he never pushed Lucci to speak despite his endless jokes about Lucci needing Hattori to talk to people.

It was baffling. It was absurd. It was... nice.

Paulie was an unfailingly kind person where it counted. In the world they had grown up in—one of assassins, murder, and unflinching devotion to the world government—that was rare indeed.

So it started with Kalifa, then Blueno, then Kaku, and finally Lucci. One by one, Paulie wormed his way into their hearts. None of them voiced it, but they all knew that Paulie was someone they would protect if their mission allowed it. He was a good man. If he could curtail his flaws, if he could defend himself and Water 7 from people like them, Paulie would be the perfect man to take up the reins after Iceberg

After all, even if Iceberg willingly handed over the plans, he would still need a successor one day.

And who better to secretly prepare Paulie for such a fate than them?

[cha-melodius]

THE BLORBO AU

Thank you for reminding me of that one, now I have to go read all the posts again because that one was GLORIOUS looooool

Blorbo AU is the greatest work of fiction I never actually wrote, 100% serious, amen. I wish I could give the anon that originally sent me that ask a kiss.

Plus, everything that came out of it. The fact that I got an ask that said "my friend and I were discussing the blorbo au spinoff." This ask:

What a time that was. 😂

[havanillas]

hello there! just wondering if you're still going to continue merventurine?

i still have unused sketches for it, i'm just gonna have to figure out how to connect them in the linear plot in a way that makes the most sense

[ping-ski]

shrödinger's plex fic (they are real to me)

EBY eclipse and y/n ref here!! :3

[caemidraws]

Oath/breaking

[bananadramaaa]

Sketch commission pfps for @deer-carcasses ✨😌

Information about my commissions here.

[kiisaes]

smile for the camera 📸

(a LM AU bday gift for @zipsunz!)

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

what if. readerbot met Eclipse. and Eclipse, who is both Sun and Moon combined, also had both Sun and Moon's collective love for readerbot all stuffed into one big stupid silly baby brain. and what if Eclipse also had absolutely zero self control and immediately turned into a pile of big soft mushy love dovey feelings as soon as he made eye contact w readerbot. and meanwhile readerbot, who has not been clued in on the fact that Sun and Moon are both head over heels for them, was struggling hardcore to process the unstoppable stream of Eclipse's pure unbridled love being beamed directly into their brain with zero filter whatsoever. like what if tho

(eclipse accidentally kills his staffbot spouse by being a teeny tiny little bit too intense, thats what)

[proxycrit]

Yall really like these guys with wings so here’s some more doodles! Im busy with commission work and won’t be active for a good while, but I’ll try to post more doodles ever so often. (Ahh the joy of drawing my favorite guys… it fills me with joy.)

[lammydraws]

hello narilamb

[blairamok]

absolutely totally forgor to post this here, commissioned by the lovely @robinwithay for their teacher AU!!

[chiangyorange]

a few sketches of the heros aspect au by @tashacee since it finished recently!! to be loved is to be changed.....

if i think about the ancient hero too hard i WILL be sobbing thank you very much this is a promise and a threat too actually

[pencilofawesomeness]

So, I've been reading a lot of Ghost King AUs recently and... my hand slipped.

[chucktaylorupset]

I think there's something to be said for fanfiction that loves canon in a way that’s rude. Like thank you for this wonderful thematic tragedy made out of this character’s entire arc ending in death, it was emotionally and intellectually moving, but also fuck you fuck you fuck you they live, this time and every time they live, they never died, their flaws are not their undoing, actually they have no flaws, actually they save everyone, actually who cares about a story, any story, where this one dies, actually i cared about that story so much i made a new one, actually i cared so much i unmade the old one, you gave me morals and i left them for the mortal, but they’re mine now and i will never let them die, actually thank you, actually fuck you, strongly worded letter to follow

A kiss for canon and spit in its face all at once, it’s great

[steampoweredwerehog]

The blorbocity of it all

[tangledinink]

How long do the hatchling eggs stay inside before being laid?

here, here's way more information than your question required as an answer. [ ✩ the gemini ✩ ]